CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Rocky Shoemaker call

2011-12-13T19:33:00Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: /* Sectioning off the call */

== Proposed speedy deletion ==
To be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with this being here, but not for the reasons you think. While technically Virginia allows for recording calls with the consent of one party (i.e. the party that's recording), I think Rocky might be bothered by a private call being here. Unlike Chris, she most likely has an IQ greater than that of a brick and would be bothered by the invasion of her privacy and that sort of thing. Secondly, why do we have to have the entire conversation here? That's what irks me sometimes, people think we need to mirror and host everything connected with Chris. I don't think so, I think we should just cite the audio file and that's sufficient as opposed to having an entire article about the call with a full transcript. Thirdly, I think this would set a dangerous precedent, as I'd rather not see people harass people connected to Chris for content. These people, unlike Chris, probably do mind if a stranger calls them, talks about their acquaintance with Chris, however nebulous, and then posts their private call for the entire Internet to see.

I realize that this provides valuable information but I'd rather see this information obtained through other means, such as public records or that sort of thing.

If we are to keep it, I'd recommend wikifying the transcript and categorizing the call.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:40, 11 December 2011 (PST)

:Champ is good people and I agree with him. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:59, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Thirded, really. God damn. --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 07:13, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Nah fuck Rocky. She isn't some innocent person who got caught up in this Chris business like the Wallflower, she's been interfering with our work since day 1 and manipulating the Chandlers since time immemorial. IMO she deserves to be fucked with a lil' bit. --[[User:Thorg|Thorg]] 13:33, 12 December 2011 (PST)

** I felt the same way Champ, until I listened to the call and realized that Rocky isn't as "innocent" in this as she seems. I mean really. She tells this caller that she needs some ID or some consent from the lawyer before she talks...and then instead of hanging up like a good person would, she continues to <s>gab</s>talk about Chris anyway. I agree that this information would have been better collected another way...and that everyone who has dealings with Chris don't necessarily need to be trolled too to get information about Chris. I guess what I'm saying is this: This doesn't need it's own page, but I believe it should be noted in the Rocky Shoemaker article that there is audio of a call between a troll pretending to be a doctor and her and that she gave some information about the Chandler's living condition. And then a link to the audio file could be given. This whole transcript isn't necessary; is it really all that shocking that the Chandler house is a filthy, invested, mess? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 08:30, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*** The infestation had everything to do with the topic of meeting at Christian's house and wasn't "gabbing". -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 08:45, 11 December 2011 (PST)
**I agree with Champ. When push come to shove, Rocky got more resources and smarts than Chris. Having the contents of that call here might irks her. I agree with adding some snippets of the calls in a form of "Rocky said..."and let the whole audio as a reference out of the CWCki. Yes, no shit is too small but we need to think about any liability that can come from this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 09:16, 11 December 2011 (PST)

***No liability would come from it, we're documenting something that was obtained from someone else, so CWCKI can't get in trouble for hosting it, same as FOX news can't get in trouble for reporting on something, even if they obtained the information from someone that stole it, unless they told the person to steal it. But I feel that this should only be reference to in the Rocky article with a link to the call, people involved with Chris don't need to be troubled by trolls.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 12:21, 11 December 2011 (PST)

I honestly think that since, as [[Champthom]] pointed out in his post, that since Virginia is a one-party state, there are no legal repercussions to posting the full (or contents of) the transcript of the conversation online. As to the issue of whether or not the full transcript should be posted, I'm in favor of moving the transcript to a different article and setting aside this article for posting and bolding the relevant parts of the conversation and posting information about the consequences of this new information.--[[User:Osideguy92|Osideguy92]] 12:27, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Having the transcript here is important to have, but shouldn't be used as much. This definitely needs to have relevant information listed here, and wikifyed. As for Rocky realizing it's all on here, it's her own fault for gabbing with a troll. I don't think this can really be deleted, it does present some important info, I just think it needs to be cleaned up, and most of it's information posted where it needs to go. Basically, if you get rid of this article, where are you going to link the new info to? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 12:54, 11 December 2011 (PST)

**Having said that, I'm not sure what the qualifier for "Not supposed to be here yet" Means. I mean, if this was part of someone's trolling plan, then they should have had the sense not to make it publicly available. If someone ruined their own trolling plan because they leaked this stuff, again, that's their own fault, and I don't think the CwCki should have to delete an article to preserve trolling plans. Of course, if an admin or whoever feels it is important enough to delete, I'm sure that it will happen anyways. [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 12:57, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*** Not that it's relevant (as this guy already finished with what he was doing), but while the CWCki doesn't *have* to do anything, us being bitchy and saying "you fucked up so now we're going to ruin your trolling plans" would be counterproductive. Chronicling the information *right now* is less important than producing content.
:: "where are you going to link the new info to?" If this is asking what I think it's asking, not having content here for a while longer just means those analyses and links have to wait a few days. It's not really problematic. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 13:06, 11 December 2011 (PST)
*I mostly agree, except that while I as a person wouldn't bother trying to harass people that Know Chris for information, I don't see anyway to really prevent trolls from doing that. I suppose by removing this it gives a point that we wouldn't post information obtained from harassing people that know Chris. This would of course, require deleting all the prank calls that involve Barb and Bob. In the end, this is a conversation that does involve Chris and the Chandler Household, and thus it should be back. Now if this was different and say, a Troll trying and failing to talk to Rocky, then yes I would support deleting this. But in the end, the call did produce info about Chris, and it should be around on here. Perhaps Rocky will learn to not gab especially after she already told the Doctor she needed dox. [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 13:06, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:I've still not seen a compelling reason not to take this down for now - ya'll got a couple of hours or I'm taking it down. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:37, 11 December 2011 (PST)
::If Chris hasn't yet seen it, and learns of this because of it being on the CWCki, it might lead him to respond to deny/deflect the statements made about the house, Bob, etc. [[User:tugboatz|tugboatz]] 13:29, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:: I think it's important to keep this information available. Perhaps we don't need an entire page for it (especially because bringing Rocky's wrath upon us isn't wise, regardless of her actual abilities) but for those who don't visit the forums or /cwc/ this is still interesting Chris-related info. Maybe put a synopsis under a new header on Rocky's page, sans transcript and audio file? Then, if anybody desperately NEEDS To hear it, they can go dig it up elsewhere. Thoughts? -- [[User:AK27|AK27]] 14:31, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*I'm not agreeing with the whole "gabbing" defense as a means to keep this up. Fooling a little old church lady (who has likely been struggling with the same Chandler issues as many White Knights before her...promotion of hygiene, socialization, more hygiene) into thinking she's chatting with a legitimate doctor, (Easily done to an American when you add an English accent by the way. Just ask anyone who likes Hugh Grant movies.) and winding up finding out that a house full of garbage and old food has bugs in it may be noteworthy. That doesn't mean she's a gossip, nor does it necessarily need dedicated page. Just one Lurkers opinion. <3 --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 14:32, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Don't take this down. I listened to the call and I found it to have some interesting info. There's no liability, as far as I can tell. And having the transcript up somewhere easily accessible is useful. I have no life, so I have plenty of time to listen to calls. But some people don't always feel like sitting through calls and want to read transcripts. Also being able to search for snippets is useful. I'm taking off the deletion template. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:52, 11 December 2011 (PST)

*Not to lawyer up, but one party consent gets really sticky when the second party is out of state or the conversation could be deemed "private" like Champ first mentioned. I gasped and cackled like any other heartless freak mind you, but this could very well be slightly mildly illegal sort of kind of. A little. --[[User:Shefap2|Shefap2]] 15:09, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:Published on the public domain. Whattheygonnado? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:20, 11 December 2011 (PST)
:Thing is, we have a lot of calls like this. We have lots of calls with the Chandlers and all sorts of people. Like prank calls and shit. They very well might be illegal. They're either all illegal or none of them are illegal. I'm not a lawyer. I kinda don't care right now because I don't think anyone is going to complain about people publishing prank calls on the internet. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 16:35, 11 December 2011 (PST)

* ''CWC Wiki, where no shit is too minor''...except when there's more than a manchild involved. Seriously, if we're supposed to document everything that happens in Christian's life, why shouldn't we keep the call? We've already got plenty of calls like this, and it's been clearly stated that there can't be any legal trouble. Of course, Rocky's privacy will be a little diminished, but not more than it already has been thanks to the forums and PVCC. As you can see in the call, she's already getting calls from trolls who are just trying too hard. I think the call should stay, if we take it down, why wouldn't we do the same with all other calls, and Rocky-related content? Also, I don't get why people get so much troll's remorse because of Rocky. Does nobody remember that she's the one who told Chris that he doesn't need therapy? Way to go. --[[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 03:21, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:You're not the first to drag up our slogan in to discussions recently. But here's the thing - it's actually a very good thing that we have discussions about new material like this. It's part of what makes a wiki good - people having different views, ideas and opinions which help to shape the content of the wiki. I made my post about wanting to bring forward the deletion in order to hasten the arguments of others so we didn't ponder for too long on the issue of deletion - at that point it seems some very good arguments had been made for deletion and not many against, and that means if it warranted deletion, it warranted a far quicker close to the discussion.
:Yes we have prank calls on the CWCki already, but that's more of a maintenance of status quo rather than a concerted effort to keep them here. Similar to the [[fail]] article, people can't make up their mind one way or another. I didn't want this article to be the same and the debate to stagnate. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 10:14, 12 December 2011 (PST)
::So, to make a brief resume: we got some new, important content about Christian in the form of a phone call like many others (other calls that the CWC Wiki still hosts or mirrors), but it'll be deleted because some people feel uneasy about having it here. I can't see the logic behind all this. I think that some people are just scared about this call bringing legal trouble to the CWC Wiki (it's still a perfectly legal and valid call), and fearing that Rocky's privacy will be violated (I still don't know how, since the call doesn't reveal any personal information about Rocky). By the way, I'd like to know which are those "very good arguments". Cheers. --[[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 11:19, 12 December 2011 (PST)
::Well it won't be deleted as we resolved not to delete it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:07, 12 December 2011 (PST)

== Sectioning off the call ==

Perhaps we should split up the transcript, i.e. like the father call, where some sections highlight what is going on in the call?

Thoughts anyone? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 15:16, 12 December 2011 (PST)
:That call is broken up because it's over 2 hours long. This one isn't even 20 minutes. This is something people can listen to easily in one sitting, so I don't think adding sections would be helpful. On the other hand, the only effect I can see it having is breaking the concentration of people who are reading while listening. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 15:26, 12 December 2011 (PST)

*Well I meant obviously it wouldn't have as many sections, I just meant the possibility of splitting some of it up. Is there some sort of guideline to when it's a good idea vs when it isn't? [[User:Darkspecteranon|Darkspecteranon]] 02:55, 13 December 2011 (PST)
::Sections in transcripts are more of a sometimes-necessary evil than anything else. If people aren't having trouble navigating the call as-is, there's no real advantage to breaking it apart. As far as I'm aware, nobody's complained about this call being hard to follow. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 04:13, 13 December 2011 (PST)

:::I had no problem following the call while reading over my gf's shoulder as she read through too. And usually that's harder to do than reading at your own pace. Also it didn't take long at all. I'd say it doesn't need sections. [[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 11:33, 13 December 2011 (PST)

Talk:SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD

2011-11-13T16:45:25Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: /* Two versions */

So are these going to need transcribing? It doesn't seem like like it would be too hard, and I want to do something, these don't sound creative from the titles. "I feel like a woman" is just Chrissy singing the original without the mention of men and his normal singing problems.--[[User:Soay Sheep|Soay Sheep]] 21:45, 12 November 2011 (PST)
:Yes, each song will have its own article for the main purpose of transcribing them. I'll throw up the template articles momentarily. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:46, 12 November 2011 (PST)
:I am uploading the songs to the library after they are done rendering. [[User:Abejita Cortez|Abejita Cortez]] 21:58, 12 November 2011 (PST)

== Two versions ==

What's the difference between the original and the collectors edition? And how did the album leak? (unsigned comment)

Well, the 'collector's edition' is a download and the original is a stream. I'm not sure if there are any other differences though, as I'm not going to listen to the entire stream just to compare. [[User:BubonicTheHedgehog|BubonicTheHedgehog]] 08:45, 13 November 2011 (PST)

Piedmont Virginia Community College

2011-10-26T02:31:15Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: trying to reflect wording and intent of diploma more closely.

:''For other uses of "PVCC", see [[PVCC|the disambiguation page]].''

[[Image:RealPVCCLogo.jpg|thumb|The public education system has failed us miserably...]]

'''Piedmont Virginia Community College''' is Chris's collegiate [[Wikipedia:alma mater|''alma mater'']], a [[Wikipedia:Community college|community college]] located in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]]. At PVCC, [[Chris]] earned an [[Wikipedia:Applied science|Applied Science]] Associate's Degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. After [[Slow-in-the-minds|four years of study]], Chris earned his degree; astute observers will note that associates' degrees usually take students two years in the U.S. He also made [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Dean's]] List, or so he claims.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]: "I earned two degrees in Computer Aided Drafting and Design at Piedmont Virginia Community College, and made the Dean's List."</ref>

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], PVCC is the realm of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. In real life, Walsh, in her role as Dean of Student Affairs, gave Chris a hard time on his [[Love Quest]] and at points shattered his heart, lowering his [[heart level|level]] to nearly zero. Chris took revenge in his own inimitable fashion, making her into a character in his comics: the evil witch in command of a villainous group known as the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

Chris began classes in PVCC in [[2000#September|September 2000]]. For reasons unknown, even to Chris, he originally chose "Marketing" as his major. Or, more likely, his [[father]] chose it for him. Bob quickly transferred Chris to the [[CADD]] course, as this was in the days before he had completely given up on the idea that his son will become a functioning adult.<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails#Chris_is_lazy.2C_Hates_simple_chores]]</ref>

==Kicked out of English==
[[Image:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|For reference, this is what Chris wore to college.]]
Chris's first great PVCC trauma occurred when he was kicked out of an [[English]] class on his [[birthday]].

Chris at one point claimed that his class was reading ''[[wikipedia:Wednesday's Child (novel)|Wednesday's Child]]'',<ref>[http://www.amazon.com/Wednesdays-Child-Inspector-Banks-Novels/dp/0380820498]</ref> a story about an [[autistic]] girl who [[Death threats|brutally murders people]]. Chris said that he told his [[JERKS|male]] professor that by golly, he is autistic too! This allegedly resulted in Chris's ejection from that class on 24 [[February 2003]], Chris's twenty-first birthday. According to Chris, the reason was the professor's misunderstanding and fear of [[autism]]. Chris cried and later passed the course when he retook it with a female professor.

Of course, there is more to this story than Chris lets on. In conversations with his [[gal-pal]]s years afterward, Chris admitted that the topic of [[homosexuality]] had come up in a group discussion in class. Chris made a derogatory and inappropriate comment (in his words, he emitted "exclamations you'd likely hear from a [[Niggo|black person]] in [[church]]"), and was promptly told to leave.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref>

After being kicked out, Chris sat at a table by himself and cried. As well as reinforcing Chris's [[JERKS|hatred of men]], this event also inspired Chris to begin his [[Love Quest]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

==Kicked out of college==
The college itself is intolerant of those who are [[Love Quest]]ing, and makes extra effort to cockblock any males on its campus by brutally censoring any signs that show the least bit of interest in romance; after all, [[Virginia is for Virgins]].

By mid-[[2003#October|October 2003]], Chris had been using his [[Attraction Sign]] for two months without success. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], under the impression that Chris was soliciting [[sex]], seized [[Attraction Sign|the sign]], yelled at him in "a very violent manner," and harshly criticized his methods. Chris made a new sign, only to see Walsh sabotage his plot once again a few weeks later. This served only to make Chris [[Chris and anger|rage]] and spam the college with his ridiculous ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter. As a result, Walsh gave Chris a stern lecture, and following a violent outburst on his part, banned him from PVCC for a year, made him take an anger management course, and forced him to see a shrink.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> To this peculiar chain of events we owe the eventual release of the [[autism papers]].

To make matters worse, PVCC is largely considered something of a joke, even by alumni.<ref>http://collegeprowler.com/user/joatmon8/</ref> So Chris basically didn't just fail at community college; he failed at a community college that failed at being a community college.

==Graduation==
After spending four years on a course of study that normally takes only two, Chris graduated with an associate's degree in Applied Science and a [[CADD]] certificate. Chris has repeatedly and falsely claimed to have two degrees.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (26 October 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref><ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref>

Compared to his [[Manchester_High_School#Graduation|high school graduation]], he didn't seem to give a fuck. Notably, Chris wore not only his [[Sonichu medallion]], but his gown, tassel, and [[honor roll]] sash from [[high school]] to his college graduation.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0710-CWCCollGrad1.jpg|Graduation
Image:0711-CWCCollGrad2.jpg|Such is his disdain for college, he's wearing the [[medallion]] and the same [[Chris and fashion|shirt of fail]] he draws himself in.
Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|And as usual, Chris couldn't care less and he disrobed himself like a little kid.
Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|His Associate of Applied Science degree.
Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|His CADD certificate. Chris insists this is a degree, but the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]] begs to differ.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|"Student featured in ''[[Nintendo Power]]''."
</gallery>
</center>

==PVCC as viewed by Chris==
Christian Weston Chandler refers to Piedmont Virginia Community College as the '''Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens''' (abbreviated '''PVCCitizens'''; or, on one occasion, as '''Piedmont Virginity College'''<ref>[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]</ref>) due to the grudge he holds against the college. Within the context of his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics, Christian has characterized the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as the headquarters for the activities of the villains of [[CWCville]].

As you can imagine, when the [[troll]] message boards were created, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|it just had to be christened with this name]].

==See also==
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Wikipedia:Piedmont Virginia Community College|Wikipedia article on PVCC]]
* [http://www.pvcc.edu/ PVCC website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Mailbag 56

2011-08-09T18:39:34Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 56''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 15 [[February 2010]]. Chris answered them on 20 February.

Nothing interesting actually happens in this Mailbag, because Chris replies to nearly all of the emails with a short, generic response without addressing the actual content of the message. The only thing of note is that he continues to insist that he has a new sweetheart while continuing to not mention the slightest thing about her, beyond that "she exists". This sweetheart would eventually turn out to be [[The Wallflower]], who was never really interested in Chris at all.

As of the death of the CWCipedia in late [[May 2010]], this was also the last Mailbag Chris answered.

==Answered==
===Because Chris always gives nice responses===
{{Email|From: Who Cares <thegoddambatman416@gmail.com>
CHRIS. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I see your fucking messages, you say, yeah, you're gonna start to clean shit up and start treating us better in the Mailbag. And what do I see? You use a FUCKING COPY-PASTED RESPONSE.

I want you to go back and respond to my message, you pussy. Am I stressing you? FUCKING PROVE IT.

It just goes to show that while you're not abusing your authority anymore, you still aren't giving a shit about your fans. That's why we all fucking left, Chris. EVERY. LAST. ONE.}}
{{EmailReply|It's abrasive, derogatory and extensively obscene comments like that which gets such a response, because I do not care for those. As Miss Monica Rial told me when I met her, "[[Mailbag 32#Asperchu can't be a parody of Chris, because Asperchu's not a total dick fucking asshole|People who are nice to me get nice responses]]. People who bad-mouth me, I say 'Go to hell.'"}}

===You killed him, Chris===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, you missed the letter from Mike Jackson's widow.

You just slapped her in the face and pissed on the corpse of her husband--after you MURDERED HIM, I should add.

You call that a "neutral reply"? I don't think so, as "neutral" implies that you're not pissing people off, and I know that a MAJORITY of the FEW remaining fans consider this to be the last straw.}}
{{EmailReply|I beg your pardon, for the while, I was under a misunderstanding. I thought they were talking about the Pop Star, Michael Jackson, not the dude-child who ran away to marry a prostitute. And with that, [[Chris and remorse|I am very sorry]].}}

===On Chris's rapidly deteriorating human form===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Mystery Science Theater 3000|Crow Servo]] <mst3k1992@gmail.com>
Dear Director Christian Weston Chandler

I am a huge fan of your work on Sonichu (I also love Asperchu, but your series is a dozen times better). I wanted to ask if you are aware if your health. You seem fine now but all that junk food you eat will likely come back to haunt you (not literally mind you). Also, I believe you are balding as well. Have you gone to a doctor recently? If not, I'm probably sure you are over due for a check up.

Love, a concerned fan,

Crow T. Servo }}
{{EmailReply|I am exercising, I am not going bald, and I get my check-ups every few months.}}

===Everybody loves dead Simonla!===
{{Email|From: Ethan Mittel <msinsineratehymn@yahoo.com>
"Wild is a carpenter; Simonla is a Constructor, so they can build/rebuild full houses/buildings with furnishings together. And they both knew that they were just meant to be together. Take it at face value."

Face value: Superficial
Superficial: Skin-deep
Skin-deep: The relationship between Wild and Simonla

However, it is good that you killed of Simonla. I'm proud of you for doing that.}}
{{EmailReply|No comment.}}

===Show, don't tell===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Will we ever actually SEE ScotPalazzo, Manajerk of the FA-Square,
Sho-Mall region (he banned all virgins from his region) and Trebor
Capman (Accomplice) getting cured? It's kind of a copout to just SAY
they got cured. Trebor Capman (Accomplice) is my favorite villain.}}
{{EmailReply|You will see them cured.}}

===Toys===
{{Email|From: mostlysunny@reborn.com

I saw your "Your letter has been read fully" bullshit copypasta. Nice to know how little you think of your real fans that you can't be bothered from your oh-so-busy schedule of sitting on your fat ass and [[A Sonichu Day|playing with toys like a little fucking three year old]] to actually address and answer their concerns and questions.

Here's something for you to input: Fuck you, Chris.}}
{{EmailReply|Go to hell to you too, dude.}}

===Sonichu Revolution is the best!===
{{Email|From: theprancer1@writeme.com

I love your new [[Sonichu Revolution]] comic book. It is much better drawn and written, in my honest opinion. The old comic looked like it was drawn and written by a four year old. I mean, Crayola markers? So childish. I'm so glad you've decided to reboot. Consider me a fan again.}}
{{EmailReply|Those pages are NOT mine; Alec is drawing those, and I never gave him permission to do so, and he is wasting the adspace he wrongfully bought with that crap that does not pertain at all to My, and The Original, Sonichu Pages.}}

===In which Chris misses the point===
{{Email|From: DR. TRAN

This is relevant to how YOU plan to write the comic.

"4) I do not wish to hire a Ghost Writer, because he/she may mess with it and distort the story."

Chris, if you hired a ghost writer you'd have to approve anything he or she wrote in order for it to be posted/published.

"5) They have their own Personalities; take a deeper look."

I don't see how [[Lolisa]] is a standard radio co-host personality or how [[Bubbles]] is supposed to be "Stern, but Caring". You can't just say "Character X has Personality Y", you have to show Character X doing something that someone with Personality Y would do. That's your job as the writer--their personalities are all in your head and your head alone, you have to show them displaying those personalities so everyone else will know that as well. We are not mind readers, Chris.

Now, let's take [[Alec]] as a good example. In his comic, Bubbles is a lovable idiot. He instantly shows this by having her get a straw stuck in her eye and by having the other characters regard her as something of a house pet. He doesn't just say "She's stupid", he shows her doing stupid things and lets us draw the conclusion ourselves.}}
{{EmailReply|Alec has no right at all; his pages are NOT THE PAGES; they are ONLY Parody.}}

===Mental block in full effect!===
{{Email|From: Robert Neville <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

You really need to move out of your parent's house. You've said in the past that you feel comfortable within the safety of your own four walls, with your parents living under the same roof. That's understandable, but surely now you're really just doing more damage than good for yourself?

You can't rely on your parents forever. Of course they'll always help you when possible, but the simple fact is, your parents may not even be here within 10 years. Your parents are both getting on in years, particularly your father, who I know has a medical history of heart problems.

If you're still relying on their warmth and shelter until the day they die, what happens to you then? You will have no savings for yourself, because you waste it all on unnecessary material gain, such as videogames and porn. You'll have a poor credit history from your unpaid debts, which means that not many people are going to be willing to trust you with renting a place. Buying a place would simply be out of the question for somebody in your financial situation.

You're very nearly 30 years old and you have never lived alone, or with a partner. Should the day come when you do move in with a woman, I think she'd probably leave you when you become unbearingly dependant and demanding of her, much as you have done with your parents.

Don't you think you're being unfair on them, too? At this point in their lives, they just want to spend quality time together, after sacrificing many years to raising a child, knowing that their son is a success and is making his own way in life. Only trouble is, he isn't.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, those are your opinions.}}

===Only Chris's sweetheart isn't real===
{{Email|From: megasonic791@yahoo.com

Now that you have a new Sweetheart Chris, will Sonichu and Rosechu's relationship have more depth?

I assume now that you know how a relationship works, you can apply that knowledge to your comic, and make it a lot better.

Lola}}
{{EmailReply|Possibly.}}

===In which Chris isn't sorry at all===
{{Email|From: Mike Jackson Jr <mikejacksonjr123@hotmail.com>
Hey Jerkoff...

That was my MOTHER you gave that canned response to. Yes, I am the son of Mike Jackson.

I've had a tough time dealing with my father's death. My mother has had to start counseling because she found my father's cold lifeless body laying in the living room. She had to put her hands on his wrist and check to see if he still had a pulse as well as check him for breathing as she dialed 911.

My mother had to keep my screaming and crying siblings from coming into the living room while she waited ALONE WITH HIS BODY for the ambulance people to arrive and pronounce him dead. SHE IS HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT NIGHT EVER SINCE. She hasn't eaten, she sleeps very little, and she cries all the time. His death has shattered her [[heart level|heart levels]] to depths that you will never even feel, you asshole.

This isn't even including how I've been dealing with my father's death. My wife Debbie has been consoling me constantly- I love her so much that I can understand how traumatic what my mother experienced was. Debbie has been taking care of my siblings as well as handling the responsibilities of the house and business. I am studying to take over the business in a few years.

I swear man... if my mother and siblings didn't need me so damn much, I'd fly down to Ruckersville Virginia and beat your fat ass into a bloody pulp. I know my mother wouldn't like that and I KNOW my father wouldn't approve of violence, so you better count your blessings. Your nasty and emotionless response to my mother sent her into a catatonic state for days. My father reached out to you for help and you didn't care enough to help him. Then my mother decides to be nice and tell you about his death and you didn't care. The fact that one person could be so cold, nasty and unfeeling about someone's death has shattered her mind.

You can bet for damn sure that I'll never read your comic again. I've told all of my friends about this and they're just as disgusted as I am. One of them even mentioned to me that you gleefully depicted your ex-girlfriend Ivy dying by hanging, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised, you sociopathic bastard.

Mike Jr}}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry.}}

===On appreciating tone (also the end)===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gilgamesh|Gilgamesh]] [[Homos|Gaylord]] <gilgamesh1317@yahoo.co.uk>

"Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."

Now that's just insulting, Chris. This proves that you sincerely don't care about your fans at all anymore; you're not even willing to properly respond to their e-mails. Also, "inputed" is not a word. Get a spellchecker, or go back to school and learn the basics of English again.

You're such a lazy, lying bastard. Everyone knows you're just using this to ignore most of the e-mails you get. We're not like you, Chris, we aren't stupid.

"I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly."

In other words, she doesn't exist. If you're going to lie, at least try to make it a good lie.}}
{{EmailReply|[[The Wallflower|She does exist]], and I do not appreciate your tone at all.}}

{{Template:Mailbag}}

Mailbag 55

2011-08-09T18:38:57Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 55''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 4 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from the 8th until the 14th of February, the response to these emails has been delayed even more than usual.

Chris continues to rail against [[Asperchu]] whenever it comes up, but is that really such a surprise? Chris also gets stuck on the whole [[muscle bra]] issue, and assures us that NO ONE, EVER, IN THE ENTIRE WORLD wants to ever once see a man's bare chest, and even suggests that there should be a law forcing fat men to wear bras, and regular-sized men to wear shirts at all times.

One of the most interesting letters is one that calls out Chris for being a bad Christian, particularly for his tendency to cast [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Satanic Curses]] on his enemies to which Chris actually agrees.

==Answered==
===That's far from the only reason===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Anna Malle|Anna Malle]] <annamalle@gmail.com>

Chris, I just read your latest CWCipedia update.

A REAL MAN DOES NOT ASK OTHERS TO FIGHT HIS BATTLES FOR HIM. If you have problems with Mao, you need to arrange a meeting with him, then discuss things over and solve your differences YOURSELF, in person, non-violently.

Asking your fans to e-mail and threaten your enemy is extremely cowardly.

Drawing a comic in which you shoot your enemy is cowardly. For that matter, shooting someone who is not physically threatening you is extremely cowardly.

Women HATE cowards. Women want to feel protected and safe. If you can't even protect your website, how are you going to protect your woman?

That is why you can't get a woman. Because you are a COWARD and a LIAR.

Right now, no woman in the world would find you attractive.

I beg you to prove me wrong. Show me that you can act like a man and solve your own problems without violence, but by using your intellect. If you can do that, I will consider driving to Ruckersville and meeting you and your parents at your home and making myself available for a date.

Sincerely,

Anna}}
{{EmailReply|If I knew where my foes lived, I would go there myself, but I do not know where they live specifically with a Street Address. I am not a coward, and I keep my lies to a Minimum. I'll bet YOU are the cowardly one. For All I know, you are likely to be a cowardly Male pretending to be a woman and trying to tick me off. Nice try.}}

===On the afterlife===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dale Gribble|Rusty Shackleford]] <rustymcshackleford@live.com>

Dearest Christian,

We all know that you are very religious, but I have a question to ask you. What do you think that Heaven and Hell are like? Do you think that in Heaven people wear flowing robe and fly around all day? Do you think that Hell is fiery and everyone there is being poked in the rear by Satan. I would just really love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks,

Rusty}}
{{EmailReply|You've just answered your own question; I am in agreement with you on what heaven and hell are like.}}

===Porn doesn't count===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Charles Aznavour|Charles Aznavour]] <Sazaku@aol.com>

Dear Christian,

I've been a reader of both your Sonichu and your (arguably far superior) sister series Asperchu for a long time now. However, I can't stand your weak, naive way of handling things. You take forever to update your comics when they are SUPPOSED to be daily, when you do post comic pages they are ridiculously anti-climactic. Honestly, I'd think the fight between Mary Lee Walsh and Chris would be far more exciting and epic, considering how much you have villified her. See, things like that are why Asperchu is more popular.

On another note, I am curious to know, since your B-Day will be coming up in a couple weeks, what you plan on doing. Frankly, I'm impressed. If I were still a virgin at 30 I'd have killed myself by now. There is no worse torment for a man. Hell, its pathetic enough to still be a virgin at TWENTY! You're a real trooper to still have never seen a vagina. On you're B-Day, I hope to wish you a happy 30th!}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu is NOT MINE, and I do not care to have any claim on it at all; Asperchu belongs to Alec Benson Leary. Real Life happens; I have [[chores]] around the house, errands to run and whatnot to deal with. I am going to be 28, Twenty Eight, Years Old this year. I have seen a lot of pussy in porn, for your information. And what I do on my birthday is between me, my family and my friends.}}

===No you won't===
{{Email|From: wizfisher1@aol.com

Chris, you claim you have taken many art classes. You claim you understand composition, shading and perspective. You claim you draw like a retarded 7 year old to make a artistic statement, and you really are a artistic genius. Well its time to prove you are the artist you claim to be.I challenge you to create a drawing that is conventionally good, that shows you can draw as well as a professional artist if you want to. Any medium will do, except markers, as long as its good and not in your "retarded 7 year old" style. Please post your proof on your front page for everyone to see. }}
{{EmailReply|I will consider that.}}

===Wait, what?===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Robert Neville|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

You're a bad Christian. Any good Christian would know that Jesus lived his life in order to teach humankind to love one another and to always turn the other cheek when somebody hurts us. No matter what that person may do to us, we - as Christians - are supposed to be able to forgive and to forget. Even when the Romans had Jesus nailed to the cross, bleeding profusely after merciless torture, he begged for God to forgive them, for they knew not what they had done!

You completely ignore this and continue to practise your Satanic rituals by placing curses upon your victims! You are an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|open practicioner of witchcraft]], which you should know is condemned by Christianity due to its evil origins and purposes.

I implore you to be a better follower of the Christian faith. Instead of making these people suffer your wrath, one of the deadly sins, you should forgive them as Jesus would.

Remember -

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us"}}
{{EmailReply|You are right.}}

===On brassieres===
{{Email|From: Jay Hugebicep <brohotti@hotmail.com>
Chris, your site and your shenanigans always brighten up my day. But what's up with wearing a bra? Come on, you're a man, right? When was the last time you went to the beach? Girls like chiseled pecs and six pack abs, Chris, not buddha bellies and manboobs. One is a sign of health and strength, the other is a sign of weakness and laziness. If you want to attract potential sweethearts, you have to improve your looks.

Start with some pushups and lose the breasts. I saw that video where you tried to do 30 pushups and I was laughing so hard because you couldn't even do one properly.

Here is a video demonstrating the proper way to do a pushup.
{{#ev:youtube|Km1v-jbeNsw}}

I reccommend you start out with the modified pushup shown that the woman used, because you probably aren't strong enough to do regular ones. Try five pushups three times a day for a week, then up it by two every week after until you're fit enough to handle a regular pushup.

Guarantee you'll ditch the bra in a month.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Sports bra photo series|Yes, I do wear a bra]], I am a size 42. A LOT of Men in this world, fat, average or slender, have Man-Boobs. And NO ONE EVER WANTS TO SEE ANY MALE CHEST IN PUBLIC. IT IS VERY GROSS. I would motion with [[Barack Obama|the President]] to make it Mandetory for all men with boobs to wear a bra, and for all other males to Wear A Shirt when they go out jogging, swimming or exercising where those people would have USED TO NOT wear a shirt. As with Women, SOME THINGS ARE LEFT BETTER AS A MYSTERY.}}

===On uploading===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, as of my writing, you have failed to upload one comic per day for the past five days.

Drawing the page does not count. You must upload it for it to count as an update.

And if you want to please Alec, you can remove the part of Episode 21 that involves Asperchu and agree to remove Simonla in a way that pleases Evan. You can use the reboot to replace her with another character altogether.}}
{{EmailReply|All that is being taken under great consideration. Thank you.}}

===Draconian fun!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend (novel)|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

If you were some kind of 'Great Director' in real life, and had the ability to create new laws without them having to be approved by the government and its people (much like Hitler was able to do in the 1930's and early 1940's), what new laws would you create?

Let's aim for, say... 5 or 10 laws. Heck, go for more if you can think up that many. Remember - you can make absolutely any law you want.}}
{{EmailReply|Fair enough. 1) NO [[tobacky|SMOKING]] ALLOWED AT ALL. 2) Men are required to wear a shirt and/or a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] at all times in public (No One EVER wants to see a dude's chest, and some things are better left a mystery). 3) ALL Women who are committed with their own boyfriend, regardless of marriage or not, will be required to wear a non-flashy BF/GF Ring at all times. That's all I have for now.}}

===The most appropriate answer ever===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dr. Tran|Dr. Tran]]

"I have stated before that when ONE finds their Match, they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple."

One, that's not how it works in real life.

Two, they do NOT match. You yourself have stated that they are OPPOSITES. Why not use the reboot to make it so she never existed, then replace her with a Grass-type Rosechu? People who have things in common get along better than people who don't.

Also, relationships do not work that way. You don't get dreams that tell you who you're supposed to bone to create whom, you have to figure it out for yourself.}}
{{EmailReply|What is YOUR Dream Career?}}

===Yeah, polls suck===
{{Email|From: Leeland

"I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way Sean draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely. "

It's still funnier and better drawn than Sonichu. Also, it's fanbase is roughly eight times the size of your own, according to polls.}}
{{EmailReply|I pay no attention to polls.}}

===Chris the jackass===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Shaft|John Shaft]] <[[Wikipedia:Blaxploitation|blaxploitation]]x@gmail.com>
Hey Chris,

Recently when someone has called you out on being lazy or mean or a hypocrite in the mailbag, you say that if we knew you in person, we'd like you. I don't get it, so I'd like it if you'd clear some things up for me and your fans;

1. Why do you act like a jackass on the internet and then whine about how nobody really understands you? What do you expect us to think about you after all your bullshit?

2. How do you act different in real life?

3. Don't you think you should just try to be nicer online instead of waste people's time?

I'm sorry but I don't buy this "you just don't know the real me" crap. Some trolls actually have met you face-to-face, and they claim that you're pretty much the same self-absorbed, obnoxious prick you are on the internet. If you can show us the kind, loving, gentleman you claim to be, the trollings would most likely cease and your former fans would come back to you. I apologize if you take offense to any of this, but that isn't really my problem anymore.

Sincerely,

John Shaft}}
{{EmailReply|1) How would you feel if you were mistreated as much as I have online? And you do NOT know me in real life, so you can NOT understand me fully. 2) I am nicer, more kind and all-around humble, good gentleman. 3) Yes.}}

===Man the harpoons!===
{{Email|From: [http://www.youtube.com/user/HarryPartridge Harry Partridge]
Hey Chris,

Have you considered dating a really fat girl? They give it up easy as fuck, I should know. I've nailed some fatties before and I look like shit.

Love Harry}}
{{EmailReply|I only go up to a certain limit, like I would very rarely date a woman who weighed more than 250 lbs.}}
''A woman who was anywhere near 250 lbs (114 kg) would be severely obese.''

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 54

2011-08-09T18:38:21Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 54''' was uploaded by the [[CWCipedia]]'s sysop on 2 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from the 8th until the 14th of February, the response to these emails has been delayed even more than usual.

Chris manages to actually respond to every letter. Many of his answers are short and trite, but they do manage to address the content of the letters in some way.

==Answered==
===Weights and measurements===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Doe|John Doe]] <tehsoothsayer@gmail.com>
Howdy Chris,

I just wanted to say thank you. A few months ago I weighed 220 pounds, and then I heard that you weighed a lot less than me. Knowing how fat you look, I realized that I must look even fatter if you weighed less than me, so I started eating healthier and exercising. I'm now down twenty pounds and feeling great, but looking back at pictures of my old self, you still look fatter than I did. I'm not sure I believe that you weigh "a lot less" than 220 pounds, and the only way I can think of for you to prove it is to make a video of you standing on a scale (no cheating!). I'm sure with your monthly tugboat you'll be able to pick up a five dollar scale at Wal-Mart. If you don't do this then I will consider you a liar and throw all of my support behind Alec and Asperchu.

Thanks bro,
John}}
{{EmailReply|[[WeighIn|Very well, I will do that.]]}}

===Then why the fuck did you give him a form response?===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:David Wright (baseball)|David Wright]] <applsus@gmail.com>
You made a promise to help Mike Jackson with his son.
You broke that promise, and now he is dead. Killed by his own hand.
Do you not understand?
It was YOUR advice that corrupted his son.
YOU brought about the circumstances that led to him running away.
Through YOUR carelessness, callousness and ineptitude, that family has been destroyed forever.

Do you care?
Are you even sorry?}}
{{EmailReply|I do care, and I am very sorry.}}

===The continuing adventures of Creepichu & Kimmi===
[[File:Mailbag 54 Gal-Pal.png|thumb|Gal Pals Forever!]]
{{Email|From: Rosie W <doktorschnitzelv2@googlemail.com>
Hi.

Creepella, did you mean Creepichu? If so then I'm very flattered that you'd consider her :3 I've been reading Sonichu for a long time now and it would be such an honour! Creepichu would be a great adition to show that you are accepting of people with severe mental disorders and criminals who have reformed and turned to the good side :) to show that even if you've done something as henious as eating baby [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees]] alive, perhaps even putting them in blenders first and drinking them as a kind of power shake, you can find happiness once you amend your mistakes.

However I feel quite shocked by your views on her gal-pal [[Kimmi]] the Love Doll. I am not a troll, I just think Kimmi could be an interesting adition and I put a lot of thought into her story too as a matter of fact. She's Asian, so that's a little more diversity for CWCville and she's got a tragic past. Kimmi's been born into the sex trade industry and has spent her life being passed around many men and used for pleasure, none of which love her. None of them even use her correct name. Kimmi is just used and she's not even allowed to wear clothes to keep some dignity. She's lonely too, and has finally made an attempt to escape her harsh existance of being repeatedly violated every day in order to have a fresh start and fulfil her dreams of opening up her own Sushi restaurant. Sadly though the police of CWCville didn't believe her story and thought she was insane (well she was blowing down the street naked) and put her in the Prickley Wickley asylum. Creepichu upon realising that plastic does not taste so good as hedgehog flesh has taken poor Kimmi in as a good gal-pal and they work together.

Seeing as you put your dog in CWCville, and Meg Griffen made an appearance, also that your comic does include sexual content...that you would perhaps see Kimmi the Love Doll as a rather amusing and fun adition. I find it a little sad that she's being so unsupported :(

Please do reply, I attatched another picture for you too. Again, I have no working camera or a scanner so digitally drawing them is the best I can do.

Love from London! xxxxxx [http://i45.tinypic.com/b4c4kg.png]}}
{{EmailReply|"Eating Sonees Alive"? What the F*** is wrong with you?! I am not that kind of mentally disturbed person, and I would NEVER condone such a heinous deed.}}

===What is an screencap===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>

It's obvious that you've igrnor my previous email regarding [[Simonchu]]...

Prove that you're the honest man you claim to be an screencap the data information on your first upload of Simonlia IF you want to prove to your fans that you're telling the truth.

All though you're probably avoiding this because you can't prove that you made her before Simonchu.

Your Drifting Fan,
Kali Smith}}
{{EmailReply|What is "An Screencap"?}}

===Masquerade===
{{Email|From: blockkick78@aol.com

Hi! You might not remember me, but I was the one who asked you about what you dressed up as for Halloween when you were a kid (back in [[Mailbag 33]]). You said you'd get back to me and, well, it's been a month and I've heard nothing, so I figured I'd ask again: what did you used to dress up as for Halloween as a kid (provide years as well)? Also, did you have a favorite costume and, if so, what was it and why was it your favorite? I'd also appreciate any pictures of you in Halloween comics that you might have.}}
{{EmailReply|Oh, please forgive me for the delay; I misread that question the first time. I can not recollect years, but as a child, I did dress up as [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], a Jack-O-Lantern, and even [[Wikipedia:Beetlejuice|Beetlejuice]]. I do not have pictures of me in those costumes at the moment.}}

===In which Chris never misses an opportunity to tell that he does chores===
{{Email|From: breakvistula@selfaware.com

Why is there no Rosechu page on the CWCipedia? In fact, why have you been so lazy when it comes to updating the CWCipedia and adding pages for your characters? You don't even update daily any more. It's so lame.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Rosechu]] has her own bio page now, so feel free to read it. And I am making updates as often as possible. [[Father Call|I have to work around the house some days of the week; very hard.]]}}

===Appreciate it!===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com
Dear Christian,

I have a couple of questions:

1) When will you be switching to widescreen for your videos? Now that Youtube supports it, it would be nicer if your videos didn't have that black bar.

2) Do you consider your childhood sheltered?

3) Have you considered to use more professional tools in drawing your comics? I think ruler and computer coloring would do wonders.

Sincerely,
True fan, Odnar}}
{{EmailReply|1) While I'd like to go Widescreen, I am afraid I have no idea how to reformat any videos to be Widescreen, nor do I have currently any means of recording in Widescreen. 2) I do not consider my childhood sheltered; I have been outside of my house Numerously throughout my lifetime. 3) Classic Hand-Drawing/Coloring is more direct than going through a non-writing stylus and a tablet. Appreciate The Hand-Drawing/Coloring.}}

===Because putting something in the public water supply makes it "optional"===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:I Am Legend|Robert Neville]] <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

Hey Chris, I was trying to think of the best argument to present to you when it comes to your blatant homophobia. You obviously hate homosexuals and have even literally wished death upon them quite recently, expressing your desire to have them killed in an explosion.

So here's what I managed to think of.

You say you hate the gay lifestyle and that you think they engage in unnatural acts when making love to one another. You say you hope that one day a vaccine could be discovered in order to 'cure' homosexuality.

Well you know what, Chris?

I hate autistic people. I'm tired of them forcing their lifestyle down my throat. I hate the way they bumble around awkwardly in public and I despise the way they talk, with the constant stuttering and the long pauses in between words. I can't stand how their brains can't function properly and I loathe the way that they always blame everything on their special little condition. WHY would anybody CHOOSE to be a RETARD?! I HOPE THEY DIE.

See what I'm doing here Chris?}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I have respectfully withdrawn that statement about the gays in the army, and I have a more positive opinion on them. As for the vaccine, it should be optional; for those gays who are not comfortable with their own lifestyle and want to be straight. Otherwise, they can live as they please. And for your comment, while I see the point you are making there, I do not care much for that. I Rarely Stutter, the pauses come up ONLY Sometimes when I've lost my train of thought, and my brain does function properly and sound. [[Chris and hypocrisy|You, sir, are obviously intollerant of the mentally handicapped]].}}
''The statement about gays in the army can '''still''' be read in [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|Mailbag 49]].''

===Expect more Animu content to be ripped off===
{{Email|From: Aina Andrew <aina.andrew@gmail.com>

To Christian W. Chandler,

Have you watched any anime (Japanese cartoons) in the past year?

If so, which anime series did you watch? What did you think about the story? What did you think about the animation quality? Who is your favourite character in the series, and why is he/she your favourite character?

/ Aina Andrew}}
{{EmailReply|I have watched the first season of "Gunslinger Girl" and "Shuffle". I liked the blonde teenage girl, because she is like a role model for the others in her group. And I liked Sia, because she is a feisty woman with a cute charm that is her own. The animation quality in both animes are very good.}}

===Oedipus complex===
{{Email|From: griffin lord <griffchimp@yahoo.com>

I have to say I'm VERY disappointed in you, Chris.

Just today, my 6 year old nephew, Jonny, was staying at my house since his parents were at a wedding, so I let him use my computer so he could access the [[CWCipedia]] to read your Sonichu comics, which he's a very big fan of (or WAS a fan of, as you'll read later). However, just as the front page loaded, he saw a disgusting image on the top of the main page of you fingering someone who I assume to be your mother. Needless to say, he was severely mentally scarred by this and wouldn't stop crying after he saw it. Then when his parents came to pick him up, he told them everything about what he saw on that site, and now his parents are angry at me on the grounds that I intentionally exposed him to pornography. They're even considering taking legal action against me for endangerment of a minor!

How could you, Chris? Jonny used to look up to you and Sonichu as idols, but thanks to your perverted sense of humor, not only will he never read a Sonichu comic again, but he'll need mental counseling as well (VERY expensive mental counseling might I add) just to get that atrocious picture out of his head. And aside from that, I could be facing arrest as well for something I didn't do!

All this because you couldn't resist allowing that offensive picture to be posted. Grow up and get a life!

Yours truly,

Griffin}}
{{EmailReply|I did not draw that image; that was originally drawn by [[Mao]], [[Alec]], [[Evan]] or [[Sean]] on the [[Asperpedia]] who beforehand had bought the adspace wrongfully, and they did that in attempt to turn my fans against me. Feel Free to e-mail ALL your complaints personally to Mao and his crew at [mao@hsienko.com].}}

===In which Chris defends his use of English by citing a [[Mary Poppins|made-up word]].===
{{Email|From: Robert Neville <theassburgers@hotmail.co.uk>

I read that a key attribute of an autistic is that they tend to restrict themselves to repetitive day-to-day behaviour. I also read that this can even take the form of repetitive speech patterns. Though I wasn't able to obtain any information about my following theory, I've observed something about yourself.

I believe autism can affect a person's typing, as well as their speech patterns. My theory here is displayed by your repetitive usage of short phrases, which you commonly treat as though they are a proper noun or proper adjective.

'Harshest Criticisms', 'Worst Cut of Cow Meat' and 'Twisted Truths' are just several examples of your extensive collection of these phrases.

Why do you use them so much? Do you have a limited vocabulary due to your autism? Why do you always capitalise the first letter of each word in these phrases? You don't need to. 'Harshest Criticisms' is also grammatically incorrect, as is 'Twisted Truths'.

Maybe it would help your aspirations of entering the comic book business if you took a literary class or two? If you plan on writing Sonichu yourself forever then you must possess good literary skills.}}
{{EmailReply|I used those terms ONLY when I felt appropriate to emphasize my point I was trying to make. I do not have a limited vocabulary; I have learned a LOT of words in my lifetime, most good words of which throughout my School Education Life, such as the word, "Fickle", "[[Collosal Chan|Omnipotent]]", "Antidisestablishmentarenisim", and "[[Chris and English|Supercalifragilisticespialadocious]]".}}
''It's also worth noting that "fickle" is another word Chris uses a lot and that "antidisestablishmentarianism" (which Chris misspells) is basically a joke word at this point and it's extremely doubtful that Chris knows its actual meaning: being in favor of keeping the Anglican Church as the state religion of the United Kingdom.''

===Sloth and lack of experience===
{{Email|From: rationalape@yahoo.com
How can you call yourself caring individual and not care about your non-existent fans? You won't even answer their messages, let alone mine. You're just as LAZY as you are NAIVE.}}
{{EmailReply|I am answering the messages right now. And I am not [[Chris and health|lazy]] or [[naive]].}}

===Moon pals is fucking awesome===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

In an upcoming Moon-Pals, the severed head of Crystal Weston Chandler
will become possessed by a Kandarian demon (as per the movie ''[[wikipedia:Evil Dead|Evil
Dead]]''), come to Earth in search of human souls to devour, and start a
sexual relationship with your dog, Patti-chan. Please reflect these
changes in the next Sonichu so as not to confuse anyone.

Thanks bruh.

Sean Watley}}
{{EmailReply|NO. Your "Strips" are Parodic and NOT cannon whatsoever to my, and The Original, Sonichu Pages. So you can go do your own drugs and burn your own strips to smoke with, you DOPE.}}

===Whores VS the simple life===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Steele|Michael Steele]] <hip.hoprevolution@hotmail.com>

Hello Chris. My name is Michael Steele, Chairman and Leader of the Republican Party. I've been following your career as a professional Comic-book artist and Rolemodel for some years now, and am convinced that a young individual of your outstanding talent, charisma and moral fibre are just what this country needs to lead her people as we forge a new path forward in the 21st century. Our party respects a man who's not afraid to speak out against the depravity in society presented by the homosexual menace, the horrors of smoking and drug abuse, and the devastation wrecked across the nation by the terror of internet trolling. We were particularly impressed by your obvious expertise in anti-homosexual policy debate. Before you, we thought we could only ask the homos not to get married. Never before did we even suspect that we could solve the entire problem by strapping them to chairs and forcing female prostitutes on them!

The way I see it, I don't see how you could lose. You are a sensation amongst the youth demographic; your ingenious Sonichu comics have inspired a generation of young people to drop their cynical aspirations and instead do their duty for America and write comic books for Uncle Sam. Your mayoral career of Cwcville, portrayed in your Sonichu comics, shows what a wise and courageous leader you can be. You never lost a SINGLE election there! Even your rotund figure belies a man that's dressed for success; one who's not afraid to eat substantially to display his success in life. Plus, with the recent electoral success of Sarah Palin (famous for her straight talkin, common sense folkyism and Downs Syndrome son), we feel there is a strong sympathy vote for retards such as yourself who has suffered the tortures of life with Autism and succeeded due to his own genius and determination, never taking the easy way out of life.

I know you are a fan of Barack Obama, but we feel you'll be more at home in our party, the "Moral Majority", who are willing to step out from the crowd who would demean and slander us just for our bigotry.

We can start small perhaps; you could run for councilman at Ruckersville, or mayor, but who knows what might happen in the future? Governor? Congressman? Senator? President? I don't see why you can't be each of those things and more. With your legions of followers in your loyal fanbase, there's some rich campaign funds to draw on, and a big cheer squad!

So at long last Chris, I want to offer you a political career in the Republican party. Please let me know if you're interested on the cwcipedia. I will contact you again to work out the details.

Yours sincerely,
Michael Steele
Chairman of the Republican Party.}}
{{EmailReply|I prefer the simple life at the moment.}}

===Fatty===
{{Email|From: lalanne@food4u.com
Why did you lie about losing weight? I watched you last few videos, and you look fatter than ever.}}
{{EmailReply|The camera tends to add weight; I am about 200 lbs; a lot less then the past 220+ lbs.}}

===In which some asshole tries to get Chris's social security number===
{{Email|From: It's [[Wikipedia:Gendo Ikari|Gendo]] <shinji.you.suck@gmail.com>
Remember those nine numbers, Chris?

"I will take that under great consideration."

I have given you ample time to consider this.

These are very important numbers, Chris. Have you ever considered that your dream of a twin sister has a basis in reality? Your parents didn't want you to know. They were afraid of what would happen. They wanted control over you, but they no longer have control. Consider this: My organization has the technology to be able to find your sister, wherever she is. We can make her the perfect being; somebody who will sympathize with your ordeals and torturous pain, somebody who will complement your ego -- your soul. We just need those nine numbers. I expect a reply soon. Do not disappoint me.

Gendo}}
{{EmailReply|Dude, Crystal is my Comic-Self's Sister; she does not exist in real life.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 53

2011-08-09T18:37:46Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 53''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the very early hours of the morning on 2 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from the 8th until the 14th of February, the response to these emails has been delayed even more than usual. Questions like Evan's statement about going to court are outdated as Chris already killed off Simonla on February 13.

Thankfully, Chris retired the "neutral response" seen in [[Mailbag 52]]. He seems especially meek in this batch of responses, giving small, inoffensive answers to enraged fans pointing out his incredible penchant for [[lies]] and [[hypocrisy]]. Highlights from this mailbag include the first public indicator that Chris [[Direct2sex|values sex over love]], and Chris saying he's an optimist as though that somehow overrides mathematical proof.

==Answered==
===So much for true love===
{{Email|From: Andreas Veinbergs <ziaxool_89@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris!

If you had to choose between:
 a) Have sex with a girl and never meet her again
 or
 b) Meet a sweetheart but never have sex
which would you pick?

Thanks!}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and sex|All thing considered, and if She was Clean, I would go with "A"]].}}
===The sorrow of Chris's loss===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Christopher Doyle|Chris Doyle]] <c32characters@yahoo.co.uk>
Dear sir,

I have to say you've disappointed me greatly. You completely ignored my previous message, not even deigning to place it in your 'rejected' mailbag. Instead, you go on to engineer letters to stroke your own ego - Unacceptable!! How do you expect anyone to continue following your comic, let alone supporting you, with an attitude like this?!

I've made a lot of allowances for your behaviour in the past while following your comic, such as trying to write off your homophobia to your obviously sheltered upbringing and your misbehaviour as due to your illness - I even skimmed over your blatant fantasy with your 'cure' for homosexuality which greatly offended me - Not only am I bisexual, but I am also a geneticist and that farce was an insult to my work! But this latest stupidity of yours' is the last straw.

Farewell from a prior fan, Asperchu here I come!!

Goodbye,

Christina McDoyle.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I am sorry to lose you as a fan, and I pray for your return, in nostalgia at least.}}

===Black brothers===
{{Email|From: machball65@aol.com

What do you plan to do for [[Niggo|Black]] History Month? I hope you have a special Sonichu comic in store for us devoted to Black History Month.}}
{{EmailReply|I'm afraid I did not have anything planned, but I have been aware of February being Black History Month, and I respect the tradition. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was a visionary; George Washington Carver finding over 300 uses for peanuts (but not peanut butter); Rosa Parks standing up for her rights by taking that seat on the bus; the list goes on. [[Chris and race|I respect my black brethren]] as equal people who stood up as high as any person is capable of.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:24, 17 February 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris, your comics are bad===
{{Email|From: Victoria Garrison <folliclecandy@gmail.com>

Hello Chris, I am a big fan of your comic. But recently...

See, we had a big club down here in Florida, we had at least twenty members. We all loved Sonichu and talked about it, one of our members would bring his laptop and give us the update. But recently... we've been questioning your series. I mean, the art is just getting to be an eyesore to look at because sometimes we can't tell what's going on. The walls of text and the generic coloring is bad too.

And now we don't get the story, what's happened to all the other characters you've created? Also recently we discovered you took a character from someone named Evan and changed him into a girl and called it yours. Did he give you permission to use his character and give it a sex change? Reading the fan mail you say he's overreacting, I think he has a right to, seeing how you stole something.

But anyways, we've just been so disgusting with how the comics and you yourself have been doing. A electric hedgehog pokemon has gotten boring and tiring, it's just not original anymore now that we look at it. So, I, being the president of the fan club decided to take down the club. Everyone agreed and it's not more. We're trying to find a different comic to read, perhaps Moon-Pals. Asperchu has plenty of fans of ready I heard, I think the website has over 60,000 views. I looked at Moon-Pals and loved that they have a regular used set of characters.

Maybe, just maybe, if you restart this 'Sonichu' into something more original and fun, and safe for kids (we had elementary students in the club) then we'll consider bringing the club back together.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and writing|Improvements to the series will be made, I can assure you]]. After [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]], I will be making LESS personal appearances in the pages, as having done so was a big mistake, because I had got carried away with the [[Love quest|trials and tribulations]] in my life, [[Man in the Pickle Suit|real]] and [[BlueSpike|online]], that it completely messed me up. I am more mentally capable of putting up with those diversities and move forward now.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:24, 17 February 2010 (CET)}}

===On sexual abuse===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jack Marsh|Jack Marsh]] <mr.jackmarsh@yahoo.com>

I have been in a relationship with the woman that I love for 5 years now and she means the world to me. I'm 26 years old and she is three years younger. We met when she was out with her friends celebrating her 18th birthday and have been happily inseparable ever since. I've asked her to marry me, and she has hesitated to accept, not because she doesn't love me but because she is afraid of the wedding night. This brings me to why I am emailing you; you see Chris, I've been a loyal fan of Sonichu from the very beginning and have followed every single twist in the storyline with much eagerness and I need some advice. My girlfriend, (Her name is Lynn Derleth) was molested as a little girl and now is deathly afraid of sexual activity. This has never complicated our relationship before because I love her enough, but she won't marry me because of the wedding night rule. What should I do Chris???

~ Jack Marsh}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I sympathize with Lynn, and I am sorry to hear of her trauma. The way I see it, although it is a Wedding Night, very important, as the Honeymoon is Optional, yet positively encouraging, the sex does not have to happen so suddenly. Let her know that. And I would also look into a molestation support group you can go with her to, so she can share that past experience and feelings. A lot of other people have been molested or rape; their stories of getting into the sex game after such trauma can encourage Lynn to do the same.

Male/Female intercourse can be a good thing; you can help her see that.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:24, 17 February 2010 (CET)}}

===Well, that makes everything better!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Dr. Tran|Dr. Tran]]

"All Life IS sacred."
 "I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way."

Oh really?

"Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the [[homos]] can go die in explosions."-You, Mailbag 48.

You've been caught in a lie. Game. Over.}}
{{EmailReply|I have respectfully retracted that past statement, and I support the right for the homos to join and stay in the army. Go double-check that past entry now.}}
''The [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|response referred to]] is actually in [[Mailbag 49]]. At the time of Chris's response here, his original homophobic screed remained unchanged on the CWCipedia.''

===Chris admits to being a no-good-thief===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>

"I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story."

LIAR.

You are now officially a NO GOOD THIEF.}}
{{EmailReply|Acknowledged.}}

===We will never excuse you, Chris===
{{Email|From: Robert Fisher <quitahoe@hotmail.com>

CHRIS, QUIT INSULTING OUR INTELIGENCE. DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU ARE FOOLING ANYONE BY CHANGING SIMONLA ROSECHU'S PAGE? WE ARE NOT AS STUPID AS YOU. WE HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THE ISSUES BETWEEN YOU AND EVAN FROM DAY ONE. IT WAS NO FABRICATION. THIS IS YOU TRYING TO RE-WRIGHT THE FACTS TO SAVE YOUR ASS FROM LEGAL ISSUES.(Once again I remind you ALL edits you make to your site are recorded. All the original messages are still accessible to everyone, including lawyers. And just saying it was a fabrication will not hold up in a court of law. They are much much much much smarter than you and will see through your bullshit) THIS IS ONLY THE MOST CURRENT IN A LONG LINE OF YOUR DECEPTIONS. STOP BEING A FUCKING DISHONEST HYPOCRITE. AND I KNOW YOU WILL TAKE THE COWARDS WAY OUT AND DELETE THIS. I DON'T CARE. THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE, THE READERS, WILL STILL SEE THIS EVEN IF YOU IGNORE IT. BUT YOUR CURRENT ATTITUDE OF TREATING YOU'RE (NOW FORMER) FANS LIKE SHIT HAS GOT ME SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. SO FUCK YOU. YOU ARE NOT A KIND AND CARING PERSON, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING MONSTER.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, excuse me.}}

===Optimism vs mathematics===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Frank Burns|Frank Burns]] <diviziyaopelchiniya@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris,

I was just wondering, you've stated that you have over one million fans. Simply question: where do you get this figure? You have said that you don't trust polls, and judging by the context in which you said this, neither do you trust the software that records the number of hits on your CWCipedia site. I've been a fan of yours for a while but this is a little comprehend. I think you're just lying again to make yourself look better, and doing a pretty poor job of it. Clearly the statistical data from the aforementioned sources contradicts the absurd claim that you have over a million fas. I'm willing to do give you the benefit of the doubt though, how do you know you have over a million fans?

Frank}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and Reality|I am an Optimist.]]}}

===Old message is old===
{{Email|From: [[Evan]] George <evang7@gmail.com>
[[Lies]] don't hold up in court, you know. Remove that [[Simonla|slanderous wench]] too.}}
{{EmailReply|This past message is out-of-date.}}
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 52

2011-08-09T18:36:44Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

[[File:Fullyread.jpg|thumb|Asperchu ad in response to Chris's bullshit.]]
'''Mailbag 52''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 1 [[February 2010]]. Due to the closure of the CWCipedia from the 8th until the 14th of February, the response to these emails was delayed even more than usual.

Chris introduces his new way of rejecting mail in this mailbag by replying with "Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been [[Chris and English|inputed]] and [[Chris and his Ego|accepted for better improvement]]. Thank you for your time and efforts." He copy-pastes this stock response no fewer than 10 times in this one, often in cases where the writer has no thoughts he wants "inputed" such as an automatically generated form letter, or a tear-jerking note from Mike Jackson's widow.

Other notable responses include Chris telling us that we should take everything he does at face value, and reveals that he stole the whole dark mirror story from [[Wikipedia:Sonic Shuffle|Sonic Shuffle]]. He also claims that he's going to spend time with his [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend]]. Given that valentines day was almost over when he answered these, the chances of him making good on that promise is almost insignificant.

==Answered==
=== Chris confuses occupations with character traits ===
{{Email|From: Ethan Mittel <msinsineratehymn@yahoo.com>

Chris, when a fan stated that the relationship between Simonla and Wild had no depth, you [[Mailbag 48#Oh look, another lie|responded]]:

"[[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] have more than the Opposite Attraction thing going on, if you RECALL from the "Dating Education" episode, they were IN THE SAME CLASS; They were Fatedly Paired Up for the Instant Message Sessions, and it was Love At First Sight after Realization. THERE IS DEPTH BETWEEN WILD SONICHU AND SIMONLA ROSECHU."

I'm sorry, but being in the same class, instant message sessions, and having "love at first site" is not depth. If you were to have read anything other than [[R.L. Stine|Goosebumps]], you would know what character depth is.

You're going to have to give more adequate reasons as to why Simonla and Wild are together, because it's obvious to anyone that Evan doesn't like the fact that you defiantly keep Simonla in your comic and the only reason you can give for keeping her in there is to be a part of a shallow relationship.}}
{{EmailReply|Wild is a carpenter; Simonla is a Constructor, so they can build/rebuild full houses/buildings with furnishings together. And they both knew that they were just meant to be together. Take it at face value.}}

=== Chris reads a letter! ===
{{Email|From: silentanderson@hotmail.com

Chris, I am thoroughly convinced that you have gone completely mad. [[Sonichu 10|Issue ten]] is all about you exacting revenge on everyone who has ever angered you in even the slightest way. Moreover, you portray yourself and Sonichu as [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|God and Jesus like figures]]. You claim to be his servant and to not expect such treatment, but then in your mailbags you still act as though you have a god complex.

And your comments on [[Homos|homosexuals]] are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions? You want a "vaccine" for them just because they tick you off? You always do this, insulting gays and then backpedaling and apologizing just because fans get offended, and quite frankly, I'm not going to buy it anymore. You are a gay hater, and I cannot support you anymore. Alec never treats gays like that in his [[Asperchu]] comics, he treats them as equals because they too, are just normal people like you or me.

Your comic may have come first, but that doesn't make it better. Alec has improved on your ideas with his more progressive Asperchu series. I'm never letting my daughter read your comics again, she was heartbroken at first because she was your biggest fan, but after I showed her Asperchu, she fell in love with his touching story. I don't care if you have "suffered" more than Alec has because that doesn't make your comic better. That just shows you only want people to read Sonichu out of pity for you.

I hope God hasn't given up on you because I certainly have.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== Chris reads another letter! Yay! ===
[[Image:PollResults.JPG|thumb|The poll in question. Public opinion is fun!]]
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Okay seriously bro, you gotta just face facts here. Numbers don't god damn lie here. You need to kick up your fucking act. I told you this at least 50 times already but you seem to just ignore me. Don't try to fudge the numbers. Look at these polls, I mean come the fuck on. You claim to have over a million fans but they seem to not give a shit about you if that's what you're saying.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== Chris discusses his inspirations, and... huh? ===
{{Email|From: [[Evan]] George <evang7@gmail.com>

YOU are the crappy copier. You've been ripping me off since 2007 when you STOLE my drawing of the Ghost Buggy for your [[Sonichu 7#The Family Guy "Skitch"|Family Guy skitch]].

And THEN, not only did you steal my Simonchu and give him a [[China|CHINA]], you never even CREDITED me for the character, you plagiarist. You are a PHONY. You WISH you were me and that you had all my Originality.

What's next? Steal my Shaqchu and make Juwanna Mannchu from him? Maybe turn my Niachu into a Niolochu? You are VILE. Realize the extent of my G.D.E. Powers and Remove the slanderous mockeries of my characters.

Oh wait, you can't, because my lawyers have already sent the cease and decist. Say goodbye to your CRAPPY, CRAYON-SCRAWLED ART with NO SENSE OF PROPORTION.

The Simonchu in your Haiti image was a caught-in-the-wild one anyway, I don't get why you even bothered including it. He can't even speak Human.

We're Keeping Track.}}
{{EmailReply|I drew the Ghost Buggy first; you know that. Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== Guys? There's a pattern emerging here. ===
{{Email|From: Who Cares <thegoddambatman416@gmail.com>

Goddamnit Chris. I'm a longtime fan, I've been with you since your first fucking site, and I'm getting pissed at the way you're treating longtime fans like me. Yeah, I can accept that you want us to go out and do things for you, like take down the ED page (ED's a festering shit-pile of unfunniness by any rate), but you've CROSSED THE FUCKING RUBICON. The way you edit legitimate questions out of your mailbags is pathetic. And your actual responses, too: Sonichu's good because "It just is"? What the fuck kind of answer is that? YOU NEED A BETTER REASON, CHRIS.

You know what else? Those one billion fans you thought you had? They're rushing away, every fucking day. Your inability to give a shit about us is what's crippling you, Chris. WE ARE THE FANS. WE ARE IN CONTROL. NOT YOU. You can be the "[[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Great Director]]" all you want, but without fans, you'll be back to square one, with nobody, and I mean nobody, giving a shit about your comic.

Say what you will about Alec; at least he's humble.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== If Less is More, why can't More be Less? ===
{{Email|From: false <swhoosh986@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

A few of my friends who read Asperchu have been saying that the way you've been closing out plot lines lately means you're going to end the Sonichu comic series. Is this true and if it is, what will you do then?

P.S. I like your comics, but am a much bigger fan of your unconventional freestyle rapping. [[Ipods Down and Listen Up]] was the bomb.}}
{{EmailReply|That is not true; I am only closing plot lines pertaining to ME alone, so I can appear LESS often in the pages for books 11 and beyond. The comic series will continue very strongly. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:21, 15 February 2010 (CET)}}

=== Autocracy is a guarantee of efficiently priorized legislation process ===
[[Image:Goatmilking.jpg|thumb|Criminal actions!]]
{{Email|From: khorne666@yahoo.com

Dear Chris Chan,

Greetings from Australia, my name is Kurt and I run the largest Sonichu fan club in Australia, we have almost 12 members now!

Here in Australia we have a problem, which we think you could solve,

In [[CWCville|cwcville]], would public milking of goats be illegal? recently the government has banned this here, among other things

attached is a photo for reference,

your greatest fan downunder

Kurt}}
{{EmailReply|Actually, I am inclined to agree with that law; milking of animals are best left in the privacy of a farm with a barn. Public milking of animals within the city is illegal in Cwcville. Thank you for bringing that up.}}

=== The comic is obviously still perfect ===
{{Email|From: criticalmass82@aol.com
Christian,

My name is Ian and I have been reading your comics for quite some time and I have some constructive criticism for you. Don't get angry, I'm only trying to help [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] be the best it can be.

The biggest thing would be the drawings. No offense, but they are bad. It is really hard to tell what things are some times, there is very little definition, you can't seem to draw elbows correctly, and you don't seem to have scale down very well. There is one drawing where [[Sonichu]] is carrying [[Rosechu]] and it looks like he is 10 feet tall carrying a 4 foot tall person.

My question on your art is, are you physically handicapped at all? Are your hands deformed or do you have poor control over your fine motor skills? Have you ever considered hiring a free lance artist to do the drawings for you so they would look professional instead of something a 8 year old with Downs Syndrome would scribble in his coloring book?

Second, the stories suck man. You don't seem to have any concept of keeping continuity or story arcs correct. Like when CWC's sister is trapped in limbo and CWC needed to track down the Chaos Emeralds, but then CWC turns into Colossal Chris he simply, and anti-climatically, opens a magical doorway and pulls her out. Why? You would have had so many opportunities for adventure and excitement if you had started a quest to get the Emeralds.

Also, the dialog. Dude, what the heck is up with all the rambling monologues confusing speech?

Have you considered hiring a ghost writer to help you with your story lines, making the dialog more straightforward and exciting to read?

And finally, your characters are really two-dimensional and bland. They have no personality. Honestly they seem like the same exact character, with the same exact way of talking, but with different colors and slightly different powers.

Maybe the ghost writer you hire could help you develop your characters and give them more depth?

Perhaps you could have Alec Benson Leary help you out with the writing and stories? His comics are very rich and exciting with lots of humor and excitement and very well thought out. I know he looks up to you so he would probably be willing to do it.

One last note, I think you need to get rid of Simonlia Rosechu. She's boring and very unpleasant to look at.

Have a nice day Chris.}}
{{EmailReply|To answer your questions, 1) I am NOT Physically Handicapped. 2) They are Chaotic (Sonichu Ball) Crystals; NOT Chaos Emeralds; BIG Difference. The entrance and escape from mirror worlds has been done before; have you seen the conclusion to Sega Dreamcast's '''Sonic Shuffle''' Story? 3) It's called Freedom of Speech. 4) I do not wish to hire a Ghost Writer, because he/she may mess with it and distort the story. 5) They have their own Personalities; take a deeper look. 6) I would rather eat 10 dung beetles than let Alec even TOUCH Digital or Regular Pen, Paint, Marker or Pencil on any of MY pages. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:21, 15 February 2010 (CET)}}

=== Chris flaunts his inputation fetish ===
{{Email|From: pickersss@post.com

I saw your [[Mailbag 50]], and I had a good laugh. It's funny knowing that you sat in your room writing up fake complimentary fan letters, because you never get them in reality. Nobody will ever send you letters like that, and it's your fault that they don't for making such a crummy comic and being such a horrible, stupid manbaby.

Grow up.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== What is "inputing" anyway? A synonym for "ignoring"? ===
{{Email|From: dontcallmeshirlie@cheerful.com

You want to apologize to your fans, to make things right, but unfortunately, your words are empty and meaningless to us. You've lied to us before. You lied about Rosechu's tail (it was originally pointed; us long-time fans know this). You lied about posting a new comic every day (which you promised us fans you would do). You lied about finishing the Christmas story. You lied about Ivy being your God chosen heartsweet (which really hurts me, since I'm a Christian, and it makes God look bad). You lied about Simonla. You lied about making the Sonichu games happen. You lie and you lie and you lie and you lie, yet you expect us to just trust you.

We are not stupid. We are not autistic. We know better, and you have lost our trust with your history of lies.

To make it up to us, you're going to have to do better than apologize. You're going to have to give us what we want in order for us to forgive you.

And what do we fans want? First, we'd like to elect our new mayor. With you stepping down at the end of this comic (another thing you've promised), it's the perfect time. We loyal fans have been citizens of Cwcville for nearly decade, and we deserve to have our voices heard. Have the CWCipedia sysop hold an election on-line.

Second, we want to see daily updates. Once a day, seven days a week. None of this "well, I drew the comic, but I won't upload it until later" phooey.

Third, no more lying. There's no such thing as a little white lie, and they all pile up against you until the people around you can't trust you any more. Honestly, I've been a fan since the start, but now I can't even watch a Youtube video by you or read anything you write without thinking I'm being lied to, and it hurts, because it's disrespectful to lie to people.

Fourth, no more fan service. No more Rosechu panties. No more sex scenes. I asked the other fans, and none of us appreciate it. Plus, it isn't TV-Y7. The last time I saw a panty shot in your comic, I vomited on my keyboard. I'm not attracted to animal people, and none of your fans are, so stop that nonsense for us.

Fifth, cut down the cast. You're taking a step in the right direction by removing yourself from the comic (if that isn't another lie), but there are still too many chiefs and not enough injuns. The Sonichu Comic should be about Sonichu. Not Wild Sonichu. Not Punchy. Not Blake. Just Sonichu. It's okay if they cameo from time to time, but they should never be the main focus, even for a second. The best solution is to kill off some of the characters, or at least retire them from the comic as well.

Sixth, respect other artists. Simonla isn't your creation. Evan created Simonchu/Simonla. Evan no longer wants you using that character, and you should respect his wishes. Otherwise, you can't expect others artists (like Alec) to respect you, nor can you really expect respect from your fans.

Seventh, never insult our intelligences again by creating fake emails like you did in mailbag 50 ever again. You're a naive fool if you think anyone would buy those as real emails.

These are seven things you could easily do to regain your true fans, which you've lost. If you cannot do them, then consider I and the last few true Sonichu fans lost. Your fan level is currently shattered at 1%. I've given you the seven tools to restore it, but it's up to you to take this advice. Please do.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== This, if anything, requires a canned response ===
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|Requiescat in pace]]
{{Email|From: Mike Jackson <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>
Christopher Weston Chandler,

I am writing on behalf of my husband, Mike. Sadly Mike passed away earlier this morning around midnight. He was found slumped over in his chair with a bottle of alcohol and a mostly empty bottle of [[Wikipedia:Zolpidem|ambien]]. Until we have the autopsy on Monday, there is no way of knowing if this is suicide or if it was accidental.

I am putting my husband's affairs in order, one of which was you. I am tempted to scream at you and call you all sorts of names as I feel that YOU are the reason Mike committed suicide. One look at your filthy little page shows me that you've driven more than one person to suicide. He reached out to you in a moment of trouble and you were too busy to help him, despite your promises to.

But that would not have made Mike happy. Mike was a good honest soul who truly believed the best of everyone. He would have been happy to know that our son has come home, although it is on a sad note. I had managed to get in contact with him shortly after I found his father's still and cold body in the living room. His wife Debbie has been an unexpected stronghold of compassion during this time and I'm truly sorry that Mike never got a chance to really know her.

Because Mike thought so highly of you, I am letting you know of his passing and I am letting you see his obituary. But rest assured, none of my children NOR their friends will EVER visit your site again. They may visit Asperchu's site, but never yours. I will never be able to forgive you for ruining our family's life forever.

Marie Jackson

http://www.christianmemorials.com/tributes/mike-jackson/}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}
''In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], Chris revealed that he didn't remember who Mike was, nor did he even look at Mike's Obituary. Chris is a [[Collosal Chan|collosal]] dick.''

=== ...yeah, it's probably supposed to be "ignoring" ===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian Weston Chandler. I have tried to come to a reasonable compromise with you, but to no avail. You refuse all attempts I make to have a serious discussion with you (I suggest that you take me more seriously when I try to talk to you from now on, because I am losing interest in holding back Evan's wrath). So I have no choice but to return to your mailbag, full of CENSORSHIP and LIES though I know it to be. Although you probably won't read this because it is too difficult to Comprehend, perhaps your readers will find some value in it.

Let us take an examination of your [[Mailbag 48#10 Reasons|Ten Reasons]], and then I will submit my own Ten Reasons (As I received the same request for them as you).

"1) Because my Sonichu Comics are THE Original."

Are they now? How can you say Sonichu is THE original when you PLAGIARIZE ideas and characters from NINTENDO, SEGA, HASBRO, SETH MCFARLANE, and all the other ORIGINAL creators. Considering how much STRESS these questions give you, I do not know Why you do not simply show why writing Meg into your story is a FILTHY PARODY of the kind you DESPISE.

"2) Alec admits he got HIS ideas from MY Characters and Comics."

See above. You got YOUR ideas from NINTENDO'S Pikachu and SEGA's Sonic the Hedgehog. Also, as we discussed, EVAN WANTS HIS SIMONCHU, AND ALL DERIVATIVE CHARACTERS, OUT OF YOUR COMIC. You are using them to SPITE Evan, you TROLL.

"3) Sonichu has been around for ALMOST Ten Years Now; Asperchu has been around only a few months."

ASPERCHU has been around exactly 59 days as of this writing, and I completed my first issue within the first 7 days of that. You have been around ten years, yet it took you the first FIVE YEARS of that to complete your FIRST issue. Judging by ratios alone, ASPERCHU is better.

"4) I do not draw gore, and I rarely draw nudity or references, so you are less likely to feel queasy in comparison."

I would perhaps submit some of my fan letters to show how much fans love my artwork, but you can read all about it in my mailbags anyway, which you obviously don't do.

"5) It is a Straight-Oriented Comic Series."

Which alienates your gay fans. Having no such rigid boundaries in my comic allows people of ALL orientations to find something they like in ASPERCHU.

"6) Some of the events around ME were based from My Real-Life Expierences."

So not only do you plagiarize other creators, you plagiarize your OWN LIFE? ASPERCHU contains ORIGINAL plotlines.

"7) I have suffered more than Alec has as an individual in life."

So readers should give you pity-fame? I don't use my condition as a crutch to gain sympathy; I rely on my good artwork and storytelling alone to bring in fans.

"8) I've had to work a lot harder in life to cope with those trials and tortures."

Once again, you fail to talk about anything but YOURSELF, even when you are asked to speak of something else (Just like your unsatisfactory "apology" video, most of which you spent demanding unwarranted concessions from me rather than apologizing for your atrocious behavior). The question was about why SONICHU IS A BETTER COMIC THAN ASPERCHU, not why YOU DESERVE MORE PITY THAN ME. Although I'll grant you that one, you do deserve pity. But I am the one who deserves fans.

I keep ASPERCHU, about ASPERCHU. I do NOT use myself as a surrogate character within its pages. If people want to hear about my problems, such as the trolling I receive from YOU, they are free to ask me; when they read my comic, they just want an entertaining story.

"9) The comic pages are ALL Originally Hand-Drawn; ONLY the text gets fixed in photoshop for better reading."

So you ignored me when I told you my works are hand-drawn as well? This point too is void.

"10)I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000."

I have, as of this morning, just broken 21,000 fans. If this rate keeps up, I will surpass one million fans in less than eight years, not ten. But the rate won't keep up, it will actually increase. In a few short MONTHS, ASPERCHU has achieved a popularity on par with, then EXCEEDING Sonichu itself.

Now for my own TEN REASONS, which will mirror yours:

1.) ASPERCHU is THE original Electric-Aspergers Hedgehog.

2.) I got my ideas from ME. You won't find MY comic littered with stolen Transformers characters, personality-lacking hedgehog recolors, and out-of-context Family Guy jokes.

3.) ASPERCHU features heartbreaking themes. The good guys don't always win perfectly, and the bad guys don't always get defeated. It's that suspense of never knowing what's around the corner that makes a good story.

4.) I include my fans in the creative process. When a fan sends their idea and requests I use it, I make a full effort to do so. What the fans want is what they get.

5.) ASPERCHU includes peoples of all races, ethnicities, creeds, and orientations. Even if I had some reason to be offended by the harmless existence of gays, which I DON'T, I would not exclude them from being a part of the ASPERCHU Experience.

6.) Rather than using my own boring life experiences as direct storylines, I create ORIGINAL stories to grip and hold the reader's attention. I do NOT use my comic as a vehicle to gain pity and sympathy from people who expect a comic to entertain them.

7.) ASPERCHU is ALWAYS on time. Nary a day has passed without updates, because I understand that Fans will feel unappreciated if they are not given consistency.

8.) ASPERCHU is painstakingly drawn to be a good work of art. Whenever I make a mistake, I spend good time and energy in Photoshop to correct it and make it easier for the viewer to understand my artistic emphasis, as well as just easier on the eyes. (All those smudgemarks and marker streaks just look unprofessional, I find.)

9.) I'll say it once again, because it is such an important point... ASPERCHU is ALWAYS, ALWAYS on time. Since ASPERCHU is my SERIOUS FRANCHISE, I don't let silly things like being TIRED or STRESSED get in the way of uploading new pages.

10.) ASPERCHU brings love to people, rather than hate and trolling.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== Yet more inputs ===
{{Email|From: Jess Skelton <untcatisfinetoo@gmail.com>

I just watched your "apology" video and I have to say I'm once again taken aback by your selfishness. You lost. Alec won. You know it. Even your voice in the video has a defeated tone to it. You just made this half-assed apology because you wanted something, not because your genuinely sorry for acting like a jerk. That's the only reason you ever apologize for anything. It's pathetic really, and only makes more people flock to Alec's Asperchu.

And your attempt to be nicer in the mailbag is laughable. In one email you told someone your a loving and caring individual. Then like two letters down, you told all gays to die in an explosion. Do you even know hypocrite means? Here this might help;

Hypocrite

Noun

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

Those two definitions describe you almost perfectly. Just because you don't want to believe it doesn't mean isn't true.

One last thing. Numerous times you've stated that you have to try to be straight. Does this imply that you have trouble with being a heterosexual? You also tell people to stay on the straight path. The thing is Chris, true and honest heterosexuals don't fall off the straight path. They don't have to try to be straight. Sometimes people pretend to be straight because that's what their parents and community expects of them (i.e. hypocrites). I expect your probably one of those people, since you've openly admitted having to work at being a heterosexual.}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== The what friend? ===
{{Email|From: handsomeboy@newsrap.com
Valentine's Day is just around the corner. What are you plans?}}
{{EmailReply|Spend time with my [[Kimmi|girl friend]].}}

=== Master of diplomacy at work ===
{{Email|From: Thessaloniki M. <thessaloniki.tan@gmail.com>

Hello there, Christian. I have a few questions:

1. I see that at one point in your blog, you told Jack Thaddeus to "Go Into F***ing Scientology". What are your opinions on Scientology, if I may ask? You obviously disapprove of it, but is there anything else you have to say about it? Also, did you know that "homos" are considered evil in Scientology?

2. In Oman, there are laws against ugliness (such as unpainted buildings and dirty cars) that causes the sultan stress. Does CWCville have any such laws?

Regards,
Thessaloniki}}
{{EmailReply|1) I do not disapprove of Scientology, yet I do not agree with it either. 2) No.}}

=== A small fault in the fan's plan? ===
[[Image:Brosechu.jpg|thumb|Cool story, bro.]]
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>

Chris,

I think I've solved all your problems with Rosechu looking a guy. Why
not have Rosechu get hit with another magical rainbow or something and
turn into my totally original and unstolen character, Brosechu? He
enjoys keg parties, beer pong, [[Family Guy]], pot, hanging out with his
bros and having sex with girls he meets at keg parties. Seriously I
thought this up in about five minutes and he's already a richer, more
interesting character than Rosechu.

Have a Nice Day,

Sean Watley}}
{{EmailReply|Rosechu is a WOMAN.}}

=== Further proof of Chris's originality and mastery over continuity ===
{{Email|From: Evan George <evang7@gmail.com>

What happened to ScotPalazzo? All the jerkops got cured, but what of the Manajerks? Will Trebor Capman (Accomplice) ever get his?

Also, why did Sonichu leave [[Darkbind]] and [[Zelina]] to be brutally maimed by [[Clawdorf|Clawdoef]] for the sake of flying to Minnesota and settling a really petty grudge? See, when I introduce characters in my comic I actually use them and remember to resolve all their plotlines.

Still Keeping Track.}}
{{EmailReply|1) They were all cured. 2) That is Not the Case; Darkbind and Zelina will be fighting Clawdorf with great sword and bow/arrow battles.}}

=== Automated Message vs. Canned Reply: Battle of The Champions ===
{{Email|From: Mrs. Jackson <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

You have been sent the following message from Mrs. Jackson (mikejackson113@hotmail.com)

Mrs. Jackson wrote:

You are invited to visit the Online Obituary of Mike Jackson at Christian
Memorials. To visit this Web site, open your browser and go to:
http://www.christianmemorials.com/tributes/mike-jackson/

Your PASSWORD: anime1

... create memorial Web sites, featuring

* tribute photograph
* online guestbook, visitor flowers & candles
* photo albums, video and audio clips
* build family tree and life timeline
* mutiple tribute pages (i.e. family, education, travel)
* background graphics and music, online journal
* receive sympathy eCards and private messages from visitors

To trial a memorial account today, click the following link:
http://www.christianmemorials.com/memorials/signup.asp}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.}}

=== And finally, insight on sports ===
[[Image:ChrisAndAsperchuWrestle.jpg|thumb|Good straight fun!]]
{{Email|From: Billy Herrington <broaniki@gmail.com>
Hello again Chris,

To answer [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|your question]], a wife beater is a nickname of a sleeveless shirt worn by athletes. I thought someone that was as pumped up as you would know such a thing. But I have a new question for you, what is your favorite sport? Mine is wrestling. I have attached a new drawing of you and Asperchu in a friendly match of wrestling.

Take care,
Billy Herrington}}
{{EmailReply|Basketball.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 51

2011-08-09T18:36:01Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 51''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 31 [[January 2010]], with this mailbag uploaded by the sysop, instead of by Chris (as in Mailbag 50). It was answered on 1 [[February 2010]]. Remarkably, Chris did not edit, delete, or "reject" a single email. This was the last Mailbag Chris answered before the CWCipedia was taken down by a legal challenge from [[Evan|Evan George]]. He wouldn't manage to upload any more responses until two weeks later.

Highlights from this mailbag include Chris demanding delicious cell phones, in exchange for actual answers, blaming the FFC for his determination to show sex to children, and makes some vague promises of issue eleven being some sort of insane combination of a reboot and a clip show.

Two weeks after Chris originally answered this Mailbag, he went back and heavily edited the second message in a futile attempt to cover up some of his homophobic remarks.

==Answered==

===Chris defends stealing exact lines of dialogue by stealing exact lines of dialogue===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]] <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>
You call yourself a "creative genius." Creative geniuses come up with completely original ideas all on their own. You, however, borrow everything in your comic from other sources. Sonic, Pokemon, Transformers, Family Guy...every bit of your comic comes from somewhere else. You even copy exact lines of dialogue from these sources. This is not being a creative genius.

If you could come up with something all on your own, without including things you saw elsewhere, what would it be? I think it would be interesting see a CWC production of a comic that didn't steal anything from other comics, TV shows, or games.

--Gil}}
{{EmailReply|I stand by my work.

And when YOU actually invent the [[Cleveland Show|Edible Cell Phone]], the iRitz; give me a call on your cracker, then eat the phone, and I'll answer the question better.}}

===Working on it===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, your recent video is still inadequate.

You did not apologize for the threats you made against Alec, and you made it obvious that you only want to apologize to get something you want--apologies need to be selfless in order to count(that means you can't ask for anything in return).

appearing to be rude?

And you didn't just "seem to be" rude, you WERE rude.

Editing SOME letters? Overall, you've edited or deleted around seventy letters. That's not "Some". At least twice you deleted half a mailbag.

Don't like it when people criticize you? Too bad, that's what fame does. Suck it up and accept it.

Able to take criticism to a certain point? So that means you can't handle it. All TRUE artists know that they have to take criticism seriously.}}
{{EmailReply|I am working hard on improving my acceptance of harshest criticisms.}}

===ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Hello, Christian

I have to admit I was rather dismayed that you deleted my email without so much as responding to it or even putting it in the Rejected Mailbag. However, I have seen your recent video and you make it apparent that you are willing to give "nice responses" instead of just refusing to acknowledge emails like a spoiled child. Since you have expressed concern that these emails have made you slow in the mind, I will try to explain my email so your autistic mind can understand it.

1. You have fooled for such a long time into believing Rosechu was female.
2. One method of your deception was naming the male Raichu from which Rosechu was created "Girl Raichu."
3. It is obvious that this Raichu was male because of its pointed tale. You have changed this but the original is still on your site.
4. You were so obsessive about Rosechu's femininity that it fooled a lot of your fans.
5. Having Rosechu's masculinity revealed in her offer of her pickle to Simonla is an interesting plot point.
6. It will be fascinating to see how this turns out.

Question: How will Rosechu's pickle affect her relationship with Sonichu. Is Sonichu a closet homosexual as I have suspected.

If you want to stop losing fans I suggest you respond to your fan's emails.

Stephany}}
{{EmailReply|1) I am Not fooling anyone; THE RAICHU WAS ACTUALLY ALL FEMALE. Your questions are unbiased, and outrageous. I WISH you would just ACCEPT THE FACTS and Lay Off.}}

===Perspectives and all that===
{{Email|From: Derek Shinobu <derek_chu64@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler;

I have just stumbled upon your works pretty recently and offer my sincere criticism and advice.

Your art is colorful and sometimes amusing, Christian. However, it is also poor in a technical sense. Characters seldom remain a consistent size, your sense of perspective is skewed, and the panels are sometimes so crowded as well as badly laid out, that it becomes hard to follow what is happening.

While this can be excused in the case of a young child's artwork, you are a man twenty seven years of age with aspirations of doing this professionally. Am I right in saying that you wish to be a professional comic book writer/artist? There is a difference between child-like and childish.

Now, with all that being said, here's my advice. Why don't you go back to college and enroll in an art course or two? You would have to cut down on buying videogames and sex related paraphernalia, but if drawing is what you plan to do with your life, why not take it seriously and try to improve? If you're truly passionate about your art, a few hundred dollars every month should not be a big sacrifice for you.

I am fully aware there are professional artists out there that have never taken an art course, but if you are honest with yourself, Christian, you'll notice their art is on a different level from yours.

I truly believe that if you learn the basics, your art would improve a hundred-fold and silence all those critics who say you cannot draw better than a third-grader. Yes, you would have to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that your art is not as good as you thought, but Christian, no one gets better without first realizing they need to get better.

And think of the benefits. You would actually have something to wake up for everyday. You could start showering regularly. You could start socializing again. You would even know the correct date instead of being five days off like in your [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|last video]] (It's January 30th, Chris, not 25th). Just don't do silly things like spreading around a newsletter or wearing a sign, and try not to make the female students uncomfortable. Get out there into the world and make something of yourself, Christian Weston Chandler, before life passes you by completely.

Good Luck,
Derek}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and art|I have taken over 15 art classes]] in my lifetime, learned perspectives and all that. I stand by my work.}}

===He gives no care===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|Biggie]]
"How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+. A: 0-10"

Yeah, about that. According to the hit counter(that exists on all wikis), his front page has been accessed 61,774 times since it's creation a month or so ago(it counts multiple hits from the same person).

I don't think 1-10 fans could possibly manage that. Oh, and by the way, more than 10 people have sent letters talking about how much more they like Asperchu, so you're wrong.

Likewise, your front page has been accessed some 200,000 times over the last six months. Having 1,000,000+ fans cannot possibly generate this few hits.

You've probably got around 500 fans (You had around 3000, but Issue 10 knocked 2500 of them out of your circle and Asperchu was waiting to pull them in), and 3000 trolls. You're fairly irrelevant, actually.}}
{{EmailReply|I give no care to POLLS and such; I continue with my work, and answer my messages with tought. Give me a break.}}

===The recent explosion of pornography in TV-Y7 cartoons is not Chris's fault===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>
Chris,

When you said, "Children will likely be seeing [panty shots and genitals] in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit," that's not your decision to make. That's up to the parents, and you are not the parents of the kids reading this comic. You claim this is a "TV-Y7" comic, but in order for a program to earn a TV-Y7 rating, certain things are not allowed at all. Depictions of sex and sexual organs are not allowed at all, even if censored. Innuendo is also not allowed at all. When parents let their kids watch something rated TV-Y7, they do so expecting it will not contain those things.

Your censored comic is much more like a TV-PG or TV-14 program. You need to make this known, or else a parent could sue you for exposing their child to filth and being dishonest about the rating.

--Leslie}}
{{EmailReply|Don't blame me, blame the FCC; they are letting up on their ratings and mellowing out.}}

===An invitation===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}
{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

===Chris pities someone===
{{Email|From: lovelyrainbow6@aol.com
Dear Chris,

My name is Kayla and as an asexual I saw that in one of your previous mailbags that you are ticked off by the asexual community. It bewilders me and I'd like to ask why does it bother you? Please respond. Have a great day.}}
{{EmailReply|Asexuals are [[Virgin with rage|Missing Out]] on the great things of Love and Romance; I am not ticked off at them, I pity and feel sorry for them.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:30, 2 February 2010 (CET)}}

===He might as well have ignored it===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>
Your response based off of this: http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127
"Indeed, but it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have."

- - - - - -

Just because you drew it doesn't mean that it has "personality and charm."

That's like me saying, "just because I drew a stick figure it has more personality and charm than you painting of the Sistine Chapel."

I think his has more personality because it IS well planned and it practices composition and great visual verbal layout. His word bubbles are easier to follow and he practices paragraphs and topic structure. Plus he manages to improve upon your own story by providing a verbal structure that's easier to comprehend.

So I personally find his work has more depth and personality than yours currently does.

I would suggest taking drawing classes so your artwork can move beyond the grade-school stage and literary courses to improve your storytelling and plot construction.

Just some tips!

- - - - -

Please don't edit or ignore. :( I'm not trying to be mean, just honest. }}
{{EmailReply|Your point is well-taken.}}

===Seriously, what the hell is an overacting comedian?===
{{Email|From: Evan George <evang7@gmail.com>
I may be an "overacting comedian", but I'm a comedian with lawyers, kiddo. }}
''Chris failed to provide any sort of answer for this letter. This letter foreshadows the closing of the CWCipedia.''

===Yes he is===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]] <marsbasesoldier@yahoo.com>
Christian,

So you say that you don't mind homosexuals and wouldn't mind associating with them, to wanting them to join the military to get killed in explosions. You are such a heartless bastard.

Just admit the fact you have always hated homosexuals, you've never meant anything positive you've said about them, you just said those things to make yourself look good.

But remember this, those "homos" that you hate with a passion, they are willing to die for their country, something you would never do. Those men are more man then you will ever be. You are nothing but a coward.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a coward.}}

===A reboot is scheduled===
{{Email|From: Heso Pringles (eastcoastphillywhereyou@gmail.com)

Hey Chris, I think those people asking for a reboot of the Sonichu comic might be onto something, if only to cut down on the number of superfluous characters. There's nothing wrong with using one-off characters or villains (the Pokemon cartoon basically thrived on the Character of the Day formula), but it's another thing entirely when the characters in question show up to do absolutely nothing.

The example that sticks out in my mind are CWCville's Power Rangers. Not only did they get mentioned out of nowhere (they certainly would have been nice to have around back in Episode 13!), but they don't even appear in the episode at all! There is basically no point to characters like that; I bet you don't even know how they are supposed to look or act.}}
{{EmailReply|The reboot will happen in Book 11 with the Clip Show Episode; most questions will be answered and plots revealed.}}

===Apologizing deeply===
{{Email|From: Cherry Greg (frog.out@hotmail.com)
Chris,

You created Rosechu in the early 2000s, while the gender changes were added to Pokemon sprites in 2007. All you had to do to quell the questions of Rosechu's gender is say that back when you started the comic, ALL Raichus had pointed tails, and that you would have certainly made sure to give her a rounded tail if those changes existed back then.

Instead, not only did you yell at your fans, and not only did you not do any sort of research into the subject, but you went out of your way to lie to us by altering an image to give the Girl Raichu a rounded tail, when in the unaltered image (that we can all still easily see, by the way) still has the pointed tail.

Chris, we're your fans, and some of us have been with you since 2007. I used to think everyone else was insane for saying they are not being a fan of Sonichu anymore, but if you keep treating us like enemies, I might start considering it as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize deeply, and you have made the point in more accurate words I was looking for. Thank you.}}

==Revisionism==
On 14 February 2010, after the death and rebirth of the CWCipedia, Chris edited Keith Keithson's message, totally rewriting the quotation Keithson refers to. As a result, the message no longer makes the least bit of sense, and Chris's hatemongering is naturally still visible in the page's edit history. It's also still visible in [[Mailbag 49]], where Chris first made the comment that Keithson quoted. The edited message and response read as follows:

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, although gay, they each have their own abilities, knowledge and experience technologically, combatic or anything great in the heat of the bloody battles. '''Power to the Gays in the Army.'''"

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.}}.{{EmailReply|I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 49

2011-08-09T18:34:42Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 49''' was uploaded on the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[January 2010]] and answered on 30 January 2010. Chris's answers seem particularly short and rude, with the only response longer than a single line being an enraged rant about [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|Rosechu being transgendered]].

This Mailbag is also notorious for containing Chris's sentiment that [[Homos|gays]] should be allowed to join the U.S. military on the basis that it increased their chances of ''dying horribly''. When people called him out on this, he made several bumbling attempts to remove the offending statement. Hilariously, he apparently forgot which mailbag it was in, so his initial statement remained untouched, while other letters that made mention of it were censored.

Chris entertained a question about this mailbag on the [[Sonichu Forum]], asking if some troll had hacked Chris's page and filled in these hostile and surly answers for him. Chris responded that his hateful and biting responses were all real.

==Answered==
===Apparently that's reason enough===
{{Email|From: Joseph Barale <frasatar@yahoo.com.au>

Why would you want to do a vaccine on [[homos]]exuality and asexuality? What have they done to you?
 And what do you have against Alec anyways? Please tell.}}
{{EmailReply|They both tick me off.}}

===Chris loves his country===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:The Simpsons|Bart]] [[wikipedia:The Venture Bros.|Sampson]] <duckfinn@gmail.com>

Hey Chris!

I'm just curious, I know you're a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|patriotic American]], how do you feel about President [[Obama]]'s plan to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the military? As an openly homosexual person do you think you're going to join the forces and fight for your country? Also, are you going to have [[Sonichu]] join the military in your comics at any point once the repeal is in effect?

A TRUE and LOYAL fan,
-Bart}}
{{EmailReply|I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions.}}
''Chris has made several untrue claims that he has altered his response to this letter. The answer displayed here is still the only answer on this page in the CWCipedia.'''

===It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.===
{{Email|From: Bukovinszky András <bukiandris@citromail.hu>

Dear Chris!

I've never really liked you, but I feel I should thank you for something. 
I've been planning to leave my parent's house and go to [[college]] lately, but I didn't had the courage to do it. I always thought how it would be easier to stay here for a little more. Then I remembered you and how you lived with your parents for 27 years. It came to me shockingly that if I don't move out, then I'll slowly become just like you. I can't let that happen.

So thank you Chris for giving me confidence in this matter!}}
{{EmailReply|Whatever works for you.}}

===Then go answer her letter for real, asshole!===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>

I don't like that you've edited my previous email... you're such a hypocrite when it comes to free speech and honest truth. :(}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize; I am working on improving on that.}}

===So basically nothing===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Fist of the Blue Sky|Kenshiro Kasumi]] <hokutogoushaha@googlemail.com>

Dear Christian W. Chandler

What, in your mind, makes Sonichu so great? What makes it so appealing? Why should it appeal to everyone? Why should everyone be in to Sonichu? 
Looking forward to your answer. Keep fighting the good fight.

Kenshiro Kasumi, signing out}}
{{EmailReply|It just is.}}

===Revisionist history===
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>

It's become very clear that you're a constant liar and that makes me very sad, as I was honestly, one of your hugest fans...

It's obviously clear that the [[Raichu]] you drew was a male Raichu, based off the illustration and the year this issue came out, before there were gender classes in the [[pokemon]] games.

Instead of admitting that the original Raichu was a girl version based off the previous games before there were gender classes, you're now twisting the time continuum of the Pokemon series with the copyright publication of issue #0.

If you want to keep me as a fan, I expect you to practice your own words of being "honest content"... lest you be a hypocrite. }}
{{EmailReply|IT was drawn BEFORE Gender-Characteristic Differences were made obvious. And within the Two Panels, that "Point" in the first was PART OF THE WATER; The other had an extra piece of Pen Mark OUTSIDE the panel box. THESE were APPARENT BEFORE the Rainbow hit; UPON STRIKE, Her Tail became more Pointed IN THE TRANFORMATION TO [[Rosechu]].}}

===Educational porn===
{{Email|From: Lauren C <l.cot@live.com>

Hello, Christian, I hope you're doing well.

I was wondering... how do you think pornography is in any way educational? It's like trying to learn kung-fu from an action movie or learn about forensic science from CSI. Every second of pornography is precisely planned and scripted, and any awkwardness is glossed over, if not eliminated entirely via video editing. It's not a realistic approach to sex in any way, and therefore can't really be learned from.

Have a wonderful day!
-LC}}
{{EmailReply|There ARE Educational Porn Videos provided by such places as the Sinclair Institute; Google the videos.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===[[Butt garments]]===
{{Email|From: untidyproblem@selfaware.com

How many diapers do you personally go through a week on average? Or do you wear cloth diapers instead of disposables?}}
{{EmailReply|I DO NOT WEAR DAIPERS.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 48

2011-08-09T18:33:57Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 48''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 January 2010 and answered on 30 January 2010. The letters are answered without too much incident. Chris even manages to talk about Asperchu without going into a [[Chris and anger|nuclear tard rage]]. [[Evan]] contacts Chris again about his blatant [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], but Chris brushes his comments aside. The Mike Jackson saga continues, with Chris's inability to produce a simple video resulting in a young man ruining his life. Interestingly, Chris has no objections regarding a muscle-bound Rosechu.

==Answered==
===Baaaaaaawww===
{{Email|From: Bridget Stanley <brst1897@utdallas.edu>

Chris, that drawing you did of yourself as a baby was just ADORABLE! Can you please upload more pictures like that? You looked so cute in your nappies and crying for your pacifier!

Thanks,

Bridget}}
{{EmailReply|I did not draw that [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lucrid]] defiance of a drawing; Mao of the [[Asperpedia]] is wrongfully in charge of the ads on My Cwcipedia; HE obviously copied my drawing style, took one of my signatures from one of my past artpieces and Photoshopped the signature into HIS drawing. And I DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT MOCKERY.}}

===Oh look, another lie===
{{Email|From: Jake <Jake0231@gmail.com>

Hey Chris I have a few questions about the comics.

First of all [[Simonla Rosechu]] she appears at random in the comic for no reason, yet you speek of her in the mailbags like she's an essential character. I mean you say she's perfect for wild because "opposites attract" but don't they both like building? The only thing opposite about them is their types.

Though that leads on to my second question. What exactly attracted each of these couples to each other in the comic? because it wasn't exactly explained.

[[Sonichu]]-[[Rosechu]]
 [[Punchy]]-[[Layla]]
 [[Wild]]-Simonla
 [[Bubbles]]-[[Blachu]]
 [[Angelica]]-[[Reginald]]

Their relationships have barely any details all it seems is that you paired them up just for the sake of it, which is unfair on [[Evan]] because you are saying Simonla HAS to stay in the comic because of a relationship with Wild that isn't even explained other than "opposites attract".}}
{{EmailReply|Wild and Simonla have more than the Opposite Attraction thing going on, if you RECALL from the "Dating Education" episode, they were IN THE SAME CLASS; They were Fatedly Paired Up for the Instant Message Sessions, and it was Love At First Sight after Realization. THERE IS DEPTH BETWEEN WILD SONICHU AND SIMONLA ROSECHU.}}

===Chris the good person===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jeff_Gerstmann|Jeff Gerstmann]] <gwaano3@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

I found out people in my synagogue and my town were just pretending to like my art because I have Asperger's, so they think I'm retarded and they didn't want me to feel bad. In [[Mailbag 45]], you said that that your community and your church congregation agree that your art style is excellent. How did you win them over?

Thanks.

Your fan,

Jeff}}
{{EmailReply|I was being myself; a good person and a caring individual. No one really knows me unless they are Around Me in Person and Real Life.}}

===What the fuck does that even mean?===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

How come I'm "overreacting" for wanting Simonla and Simonchu gone, but
it's okay for you to want your characters out of Asperchu? You're a
total hypocrite.}}
{{EmailReply|And you are an Overacting Comedian.}}

===Copyright lawl===
{{Email|From: gottagetback@usa.com

I was looking at the certificate of registration you got, and I noticed something: you only registered Sonichu. Why not your other characters? Why don't you own Rosechu, or [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], or [[Bionic]], or [[Jiggliami]], or any of your other characters? Heck, you don't even technically own [[Cwcville]]. Why is that? Are you using someone else's characters like you did with [[Meg Griffin]] or Simonchu/Simonla? Just curious.}}
{{EmailReply|All of MY original Characters are ALL Registered by Association.}}

===Personality and charm===
[[Image:Issue 1 - 2 copy.jpg|thumb|A masterpiece]]
{{Email|From: Kali Smith <kali.kitsune@hotmail.com>

This, by the definition of the word I previously described is excellent.
http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-7-117026127

These are my reasons:
 Consistent Anatomy
 Understanding of layout and perspective
 No typos
 Understanding of colors

I find it a bit ironic and sad that someone else managed to make your comic bette than you ever could. :(

If he were selling them, I'd most def purchase them! Because the quality is tons better than what you're providing currently.}}
{{EmailReply|Indeed, but [[Chris and his Ego|it does not have the same Personality and Charm ONLY the Original Pages of Mine Have]].}}

===Goat getters===
{{Email|From: Alphard <alphard@conexao-br.net>

Hey, Chris.

Why Asperpedia is now using the domain sonichu.com? }}
{{EmailReply|Just to try to get my goat and tick me off.}}

===It was the phrasing, honest===
{{Email|From: Cpt. Wyvern <masterwyvern@googlemail.com>

Hey Chris, way to avoid my question in [[Mailbag 45]]. If you can't take criticism then don't draw. It's as simple as that really.}}
{{EmailReply|It is the way the criticism was phrased; yours was phrased too harshly, and I perceived it as such and did what I did.}}

===This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!===
[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|A night to remember]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris...

I'm a little bummed because [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|you said that you would put out a video asking my son to come home before he made it to Vegas]] and married the escourt he lost his virginity to. You didn't and now it is too late! My son e-mailed me saying that he is now officially married to his supposed [[heartsweet]] Debbie. He even sent me a picture to prove that it actually happened, which I'm enclosing here in this letter.

He still hasn't come home yet and my wife is super worried. He said that he'd come home as long as we promised not to take any legal action against his new wife. Mike is also telling me that he wants me to give Debbie a job at my company so she can stop selling herself.

Chris, I still want to believe that you are good and that you had every intention of making that video. Maybe you got sick or someone in your family got hurt- please tell me that SOMETHING happened and that you just didn't forget. My wife is crying herself to sleep every night and she's even talking about divorcing me and taking the kids because I "followed the advice of a [[naive]] idiot". We had a huge fight over that, because how could you predict that any of this would happen?

Please Chris, tell my son that he needs to come home. I'll do whatever it takes- I'll keep from going to the police. I'll give his wife a job doing whatever she wants. Just tell him to come home. If my wife left me, I don't know what I'd do. Life isn't worth living without my wife and family.

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize for not making the video that night; I had collapsed from stress, and I needed to rest a while; it could not be helped. I will make a video asking him to return home to you, I promise. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:37, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Once again, Chris failed to make the video, this time with [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|tragic results]].''

===10 Reasons===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Proposition|Morris Stanley]] <niflheimer@live.ca>

Dear Chris,

I have been reading [[Asperchu]] for some time now, and I recently discovered your comic. I like what I've seen so far, and I'm thinking of switching to reading yours instead of his. So [[Wikipedia:The Proposition|I wish to present you with a proposition]]: if you can give me 10 reasons why Sonichu is a better comic than Asperchu, I'll become a true and honest Sonichu fan and never read Asperchu again.

Your fan (possibly),

Morris Stanley, Australia}}
{{EmailReply|Okay. 1) Because my Sonichu Comics are THE Original. 2) Alec admits he got HIS ideas from MY Characters and Comics. 3) Sonichu has been around for ALMOST Ten Years Now; Asperchu has been around only a few months. 4) I do not draw gore, and I rarely draw nudity or references, so you are less likely to feel queasy in comparison. 5) It is a [[homos|Straight-Oriented]] Comic Series. 6) Some of the events around ME were based from My Real-Life Expierences. 7) I have suffered more than Alec has as an individual in life. 8) I've had to work a lot harder in life to cope with those trials and tortures. 9) The comic pages are ALL Originally Hand-Drawn; ONLY the text gets fixed in photoshop for better reading. 10) I have had way over a million [[Trolls|fans]] worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]]. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:37, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes===
[[Image:PumpingIorn.jpg|thumb|I'm Strooong!]]
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Billy Herrington|Billy Herrington]] <[[wikipedia:Cho Aniki|broaniki]]@gmail.com>

Hi there, I have been a fan of yours for 2 weeks now. I just saw your [[11042009 51 50|exercise]] [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] and I have to say they are very inspiring. I decided to be a bodybuilder, so I would like to know: 1) How many pounds can you lift? 2) I eat McDonald's almost every day, is this a recommended diet for a weight lifter? 3) Which is better to wear? A [[Sports bra photo series|Sports bra]] or a [[Wikipedia:Sleeveless_shirt#A-shirt|wife beater]]?

-Signed, Billy Herrington

PS- I am also an amateur artist so I drew you with muscles. In a perfect world, everybody would have muscles. I included Asperchu because according to the ads, you look like you're friends with him. Peace and good luck.}}
{{EmailReply|1) [[Honor roll|well over 100 lbs.]] 2) eat more fruit and veggies, and drink plenty of water. 3) Sports Bra. W.T.F. is a "wife beater"?}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Reset that shit===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>

I think a reboot would be an excellent idea.

Think of all the problems you could solve!

You could remove Simonla without killing her, thus pleasing Evan! Seriously just do it, nobody cares about her and you can use the reboot to alter the pairings.

You could properly alter [[Raichu]]'s tail so Rosechu won't be female!

You could avoid all of the homophobic bullshit that caused people to hate you in the first place!

You could remove yourself from the comic completely without looking like you're frantically trying to tie up loose ends!}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 47

2011-08-09T18:33:26Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 47''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 26 [[January 2010]] and answered on 30 January 2010.

Perhaps the most notable response in this mailbag is Chris saying that [[Stress]] could kill him, and then hoping that [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]], give heavenly guidance to fans of [[Asperchu]], directing them away from Alec's creation and back to the Sonichu Comics. Chris also claims that it's okay for him to show so much Rosechu Cameltoe in his comics on the basis that most children will eventually be exposed to such things in real life. An interesting stance to take, considering Chris's real life [[Virgin with Rage|hasn't been so accommodating]]. Other highlights include Chris's reaction to [[Kimmi]] fanart, and another implausible claim of Chris being related to Anne Boleyn.

==Answered==

===The reprobate and the elect===
{{Email|From: Amber Noble <[[Wikipedia:Rocket to Russia|teenagelobotomy]]1000@yahoo.com>

Chris,

In that "Asperchu is a horrendous joke" video you said that all the [[Sonichus]] in Alec Benson Leary's comic were ones he caught in the wild. I thought there was only one [[Sonichu]] in the world, one [[Rosechu]], one [[Punchy Sonichu]], etc. So now are there a bunch of Sonichus that are identical to the Sonichu featured in your [[comic]] running around zapping to the extreme? If so, where did they come from and how do they tell each other apart? Could any of them trick Rosechu into thinking they're the original Sonichu for sexual purposes? How does Rosechu know she's sleeping with the Sonichu she married and not some [[imposter]]?}}
{{EmailReply|UNLESS taught fluent Spoken Language, all the wild ones will ONLY say "Sonichu" or "Rosechu" respectively, just as most other [[Pok'emon]]. Other Eggs have come out of the [[Rainbow]] of Chaotic Energy, of which most of them are just Sonichus and Rosechus that are fated to be simply wild Pok'emon.}}

===Dying from stress===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Valentina Tereshkova|Valentina Tereshkova]] <jurasicos@yahoo.com>

Chris, I'm still a [[loyal]] Sonichu fan. And frankly, I'm worried. While you don't update the [[CWCipedia]] or give your fans anything for days, Alec is continuously producing new pages and gaining new fans. And quite frankly, some of his stuff is pretty good.

I, and the remaining Sonichu fans, would like to know: what's your strategy for dealing with this? How are you going to regain the fans that have gone over to the dark side? I know that a supremely intelligent and creative genius like you has thought of something by now.

I'm afraid that even then, you're not going to be able to turn the tide yourself, and you're going to need to rely on your fans to help you. So share your plans with us, let us work with you. You're not alone Chris, we can help. Let's work together to bring Sonichu back to its rightful place on top of the comics pyramid.

Yours,

Valentina}}
{{EmailReply|Yes, I agree with you, I will need my loyal fans to help me turn the tide to bring those who turned the other cheek on me back. I will be continuing to draw my daily 2 or so pages a day and upload them the following late morning/early afternoon (to sync with my recent [[biological clock]] reset). I also appreciate your kind words and direct, yet gentle, criticisms. I will also be adding more character bio pages to the Cwcipedia soon. I try not to stress out over everything; if I did, I would have probably died years ago from stress. I just continue on and pray that y'all, [[God and Jesus]] show the past fans the light shining the error of their choice.
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:11, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Mellow out, it's just furry porn===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Tom Vilsack|Tom Vilsack]] <agriculturerocks@aol.com>

How are panty shots of Rosechu "fan service?" I mean, only perverts get off to furry cartoon characters. And isn't this a comic for little kids? Do little kids need "fan service" like panty shots and female characters' genitals being outlined through their clothes?}}
{{EmailReply|Children will likely be seeing the same things in real life, so mellow out and let them learn a bit, and further educate the children with discussions.}}

===Pseudo-apologies===
[[Image:Flambai Sonichu.JPG|thumb|Poor kid]]
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com
Hello CWC,

Well, my young son is back to talking now, and he is reading your Sonichu comic, but he says that he enjoys another comic more; I believe it is called "Moon-Pals"
This wonderful comic focussed on the characters he wanted to see, and he loves it, but when you said those horrible things about the moon-pals comic in your Sonichu comic, he went back into being catatonic, he won't eat, and he keeps crying. here's some fanart he drew before the incident

Sincerely
Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|I have recently apologized for those accusations in a recent video, and I pray your son comes back around. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:11, 31 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Crudely drawn===
{{Email|From: Cheaterx@gmail.com <cheaterx@gmail.com>

I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, as I have stated before, '''Asperchu is NOT MY CHARACTER; him and those crudely drawn pages belong ONLY to Alec Benson Leary. I still have NO connection whatsoever with him, and the ads were placed on the Cwcipedia without my consent.}}

===Does this count as interracial marriage?===
{{Email|From: David J Stirling <megaluigi4@hotmail.com>
I don't think you know the true mechanics of Pokemon, Christian. In your latest comic, [[Son-Chu|Sonchu]] used a Mud Slap against a Nidoking, taking him down to half health. You also said Ground Type attacks are strong against Poison types, which is true. Nidoking, however, is a Ground Type. Meaning he resists the attack by 1/2 damage. The Base Power of Mud Slap is 20, meaning that Sonichu himself would have to have a gamebreaking Attack stat in order to cause any damage to Nidoking, much less half of it's health.

Scyther and Venusaur aren't even in the same breeding group either.

For someone who's considered a Pokemon Master, you surely don't know your stuff.}}
{{EmailReply|Earthquake against Nidoking is still Super Effective; Mud-Slap is the same, but less damage, thus taking Nidoking down to half as I have described. I never said the father Scyther and mother Venusaur had their own Birth Children; they still loved each other as I had drawn them to be.}}

===Momentary pause to torture===
[[Image:CreepichuKimmi.jpg|thumb|Adorably psychotic]]
{{Email|From: Rosie W <doktorschnitzelv2@googlemail.com>

Hey Chris!

I wanted to show you my OC Creepichu Rosechu so I attatched my picture of her, I know you are not a huge fan of digital drawing but I don't have a scanner or a working [[camera]]. She's an escaped mental patient who was turned into a hedgehog when Sonichu tried to snatch the severed limb she was chewing off her and accidently sent a shock through. She's reformed now and only eats the flesh off the recent dead instead of killing people, and can help the other Sonichus and Rosechus in battle with her razor sharp teeth, super speed and ability to survive for long periods of time without any sleep. She likes shopping, flowers, long walks in the park, daytime television shows, eating flesh,breaking into houses and watching people sleep, talking to herself, camwhoring on [[4-cent_garbage|4cent garbage]] and often has to wear a straight jacket in public incase she gets violent.

Her best friend is Kimmi the lovedoll :)

I was wondering if you'd like to use her in your comic, she's desperately lonely and missing a true and honest [[sweetheart]] of her very own. I'm sure you could help her :3

Lots of love from London!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx}}
{{EmailReply|I will consider Creepella Rosechu. But there was never any place for the unappreciated drawn recreation of the love doll. Either you are misdirected or you are a [[Troll]] giving me a momentary piece of torture; which are you?}}

===He's working on it!===
{{Email|From: [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]
Hey Chris,

I was just wondering, why does the CWCipedia suck in comparison to Asperpedia? The CWCipedia has been around for significantly longer yet has a relatively poor format and tiny amount of articles. You do not even have a Rosechu article, and she's one of your main characters! I know they have more people to work on Asperpedia considering their [[fanbase]] is still running strong and they have several artists, but still, it's not like you have a job or anything. I really think you should put less time into playing with toys and more time into the CWCipedia if you want to halt the the rapid decline of your fanbase.

Barbara}}
{{EmailReply|I am working on the improvements, and I do plan on creating more character bio pages the coming week.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Begone===
''Chris combined the following two emails into one and answered them before thinking better of it and moving them to the rejected mailbag.''
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"You think I DENY MY OWN MISTAKES, ERRORS and ORDEALS?"

Here are a few examples:

You lied to your [[father]] about having the house videos off of the internet.

You tried to lie your way out of trouble at [[Wal-Mart]]

You lied about having reached an agreement with [[Evan]].

You tried to downplay the fact that you shit your pants.

You claim that you're not [[fat]].

You claim that your art is good(Your family and congregation don't count, they're just saying so to be polite).

You lie about being related to Ann Boylen.

You're probably lying about the [[honor roll]].

Just to name a few.}}

{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
"Well, at least I do answer my Letters."

Many times you don't even answer the question. Stuffing some words under a letter doesn't count as an answer unless they answer the question asked in the letter.

One letter asked you to describe why you didn't like Asperchu and you began rambling about nightmares.

Oh, and "Whatever" and "No comment" aren't answers.

"And I am certain he deletes EVERY LAST LETTER he is the least offended by, or REWORDS ALL of such;"

Did you know that due to the magic of Wiki software, you can go back to earlier versions of a page or even track edits made?

Alec has never done this and the history on Asperpedia is proof.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to reword five letters and have utterly deleted sixty five.

So you've freaked out over seventy total emails while Alec has yet to even move ONE to his alternate mailbags or delete it.

That just proves that Alec can deal with his fans in a far more civil manner. :p

"AT least I put most of those letters in a seperate bag and give them notice and attention appropriately."

You have not used any of the separate Mailbags since [[Mailbag 24]] and the Rejected Mailbag has seen minimal use since [[Mailbag 30]].

"I feel distraught when I have to put up with such, and I am certain all the other artists do the same, even worse by tossing them into the trashcan like an office person who makes it fun with balling up the paper and shooting the hoop."

No, not listening to your critics is something idiots do. Trust me, I know artists.

"At Least I give every one of my letters full reading time and thought."

A few mailbags ago you said you gave each letter about a minute or two of reading. Hypocrite.}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, MY art IS better; I AM related to Anne Bolyn, and I WAS on Honor Roll throughout Middle and High School, and I WAS on the Dean's List in [[College]]. You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves. Begone.}}

==Gone forever==

===Girl Raichu===
{{Email|From: Stephany Miller <smokerchick1970@hotmail.com>
Chrissy!

You had us all fooled for such a long time. I knew Rosechu couldn't be female though. I like how you set up doubt by naming that obviously male Raichu that she was created from "Girl Raichu." So smart. I dunno though, giving Rosechu the pointed tail of a male Raichu was a little obvious though. You were so adamant though that you still fooled a lot of people though lol. I'm so glad to see this fascinating plot point finally be resolved with Rosechu revealing her pickle to [[Simonchu]] in his hour of need!

My question is, how does Rosechu's new openness about her pickle effect the overall plot? What about her relationship with Sonichu? Is he secretly gay? I bet he is.

Stephany}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 46

2011-08-09T18:32:21Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 46''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 24 [[January 2010]] and answered on 26 January.

Once again, [[Chris]] shows off his censorship powers by deleting half of the letters given to him, proving the hypocrisy that he showed off in [[Mailbag 45]].

Amongst the answered letters, he mentions that he's going to a social group and has met someone there, claims to be in thought of rebooting his franchise, reveals another bit of his past and claims his characters have personality.

==Answered==
===Two hip wallflowers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Kevin Peter Hall|Kevin Peter Hall]] <gettodachoppa1987@aol.com>

Why are you lying about still drawing the comic even if you're not uploading pages? I mean, if you have pages, why not take the five minutes to upload them? Or does that cut into your busy schedule of smoking pot all day and doing nothing?}}
{{EmailReply|I am not lying; I have been drawing and coloring on a daily basis; I can not help it if I Have A Life To Enjoy Too; I have joined a Young Adult Social Group, and I have met [[The Wallflower|a lovely woman]] there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers. You have a life too; Understand My Needs, and let me Have My Life.}}

===Chris ignores more advice===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Tom Green|Tom Green]] <tomagreen@gmail.com>
Dear Christian-Chan Sonichu

I have noticed that your [[Sonichu]] franchise is failing horribly, being overtaken by the newer and more hip [[Asperchu]].

If you truly want to hold on to any remaining [[fans]], drastic action is needed. A current trend in Hollywood for failing franchises is a full on reboot.

Batman, The Punisher, Sherlock Holmes and even Spiderman have done it now. Clearly this is the only course of action you have left for your miserable little comic. Some suggestions I have for the style are to make it more realistic and gritty, maybe with a little violence and gore mixed in too. ''With a reboot you can also redraw the raichu that transforms into a female instead of a male, ending all accusations of [[Rosechu]] being a dickgirl.''

Thank you for listening to my suggestions and I hope you consider what I have brought to the table.

Sincerely,
Thomas Andrew 'Antonio' Greene}}
{{EmailReply|Your letter has been read; I will make all decisions soundly and appropriately.}}
''The italicized line was deleted.''

===We all believe you, Chris===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>

Question, when did you stop wetting the bed?}}
{{EmailReply|When I was 2.}}

===Really?===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

You should kill off like half your characters. Then you can focus on a main core. Your ensemble cast doesn't match up to the greatness of The Office. They have personalities, granted they've been stretched thin since like Season 3, but still, at least they have PERSONALITY.
}}
{{EmailReply|My characters Have Personality.}}

==Gone Forever==

===Chris doesn't enhance anything===
{{Email|From: D'Shanayqua Jones <blackastheaceofspaces1983@yahoo.com>

Chris, I know you like word games and codes and stuff. Do you like anagrams, where you rearrange the letters of someone's name to spell something else? "Christian Weston Chandler" is an anagram for "Antichrist Enhances World".

Later

D'Shanayqua}}

===Crystal's death is canon===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

I'm killing off [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] in an upcoming Moon-Pals.
[[Yawning Squirtle]] will take too much LSD, chop off her head, and use it
as a soccer ball. Please reflect these changes in the next Sonichu so
as not to confuse anyone. And please unblock my email as soon as
possible.

Also, failing to publish the new pages you've (allegedly) completed isn't impressing your fans. Is this how you deal with competition?

Have a nice day,

Sean Watley}}

===If Chris's sweethearts die violently, why can't Wild's?===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

I don't care if [[Simonla]] dies violently. You can kill her in a number
of other ways. Maybe you can have her die from AIDS and do a chapter
to teach the kids about the dangers of unprotected sex or something.
Just kill her off, I don't care if it's violent. And don't use my
[[Simonchu]] ever again.

I'm just sending this to you because apparently you think the only way
to kill a character is through extreme violence, so I guess I'll give
you ONE MORE CHANCE, if only because I was never clear on it. As long
as she ends up dead and Simonchu never appears in your comics again,
I'm down.

Why do you even care about Simonla being left alive? She's a boring
character with no personality. What makes her different from any of
the other female characters? Absolutely nothing. Simonla exists solely
to give [[Wild]] a girlfriend, and there's absolutely no other aspects to
her. She has absolutely no fans, I'm pretty sure every other former
Sonichu fan I've talked to hates Simonla.

Killing her off might get you back all those fans you've lost by
showing a little care for them, for once. My Simonchu comics are much
more popular, and it shows how much you've ruined the character by
giving him a [[china]].

I'm not gonna just "let it go" because you're NOT a "great director".
You're a comic artist, and you have to deal with legal issues
involving your characters when they arise. You can't pretend a lawsuit
isn't imminent and just hope it goes away if you ignore it. This is
serious and if you don't do something about this I'll have to take
some drastic measures.

[[Masturbating and squirtin'|We're Keeping Track]].}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 45

2011-08-09T18:31:40Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 45''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 22 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] had been relatively diligent about updating his incredibly ugly website, and it was expected that he would get to it that evening. Instead he took an as-of-yet unexplained 3 day hiatus.

He finally began answering it on 25 January 2010, only to answer less than half of the letters before leaving to do something with his family. Highlights so far include Chris comparing himself to legendary cartoonists, another saga in the increasingly bizarre "whores for my son" series of letters, and telling us to get over ourselves in relation to him constantly showing us [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] ass. He finished answering it the next evening despite his promise to finish a day before.

==Answered==
===Charlie Brown===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Seriously. Fans from 10 years ago have grown up. Maybe you should too.}}
{{EmailReply|"Peanuts" fans still enjoy Charles Schultz's work and praise him although he has been dead for almost ten years now.}}

===Not that that means anything===
{{Email|From: [[Duck|Mike Hawke]] <fail2comply@live.co.uk>

Hey Chris,

Would you sell all of your games and toys, if it will guarantee you'll get a girlfriend?}}
{{EmailReply|It is being considered.}}

===Adventures with whores===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Chris,

I need you now more than ever. I need you to do a shoutout in your video for my son Mike Junior. He has run away with the prostitute that I hired for him a week ago. He'd told my wife and I that it was a love match, but we didn't believe him. Now they are on the run to Vegas where they are going to get married- my son has a fake ID and is going to use that to pretend that he's 18. Can you ask him to come home? We promise that we won't run his girlfriend away as long as he comes back.

Also, my wife is concerned about the language you are using to the writers of [[Asperchu]]. She says that it is way too harsh for our children and because the kids are already so upset, she has made me stop reading your comics to our children.

Sincerely,

Mike

P.S.- MIKE JUNIOR COME HOME! ALL IS FORGIVEN!}}
{{EmailReply|I will make a video later today. --ChrisChanSonichu 21:22, 25 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris never made the promised video. Mike called him out on it [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|three mailbags later]].''

===Robble robble===
{{Email|From: [http://www.youtube.com/user/billymc Billy MC] <billymcbigmac@gmail.com>

Hello Chris,

I am a big fan of you and [[Sonichu]]. I am writing to ask you if you ever worry about the [[100 2265|Hamburglar]] stealing your [[McDonald's]] food. My mother takes me to McDonald's quite a lot and whenever I am there I am always sure to look around for the Hamburglar because you never know where he might be lurking, waiting to snatch away your Big Mac and fries! Speaking of McDonald's, you and the [[100 2266|Grimace]] share many similarities. I believe he might be High-Functioning [[Autistic]] too!

Love,

Billy MC}}
{{EmailReply|How old do you think I am? [[Chris and anger|I am not an immature child]]; I am 27 years old. --ChrisChanSonichu 21:22, 25 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris' hormones + Rosechu's ass = Fan service===
{{Email|From: Faye Dexter <ecksdeexter@gmail.com>

Dear Chris, most of your fans that are still reading are ADULTS and we demand to be treated as such! You lost most of your underage fans with the sex storylines(even censored, most parents don't let that kind of thing fly) so I suggest that there be more MATURE storylines with gore and violence. Games rated M usually have gore in them and those are rated M for MATURE. TV-MA is for MATURE AUDIENCES and usually has gore and violence. So could you include those in the comic so your adult audience doesn't feel like they're reading a baby comic for babies?}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a gorey artist; just accept the Fan Service of panty-shots and get over yourselves. --ChrisChanSonichu 21:22, 25 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Later bitches===
{{EmailReply|**I will resume later; I have to go out with my family for a short while. --ChrisChanSonichu 21:22, 25 January 2010 (CET)}}
''This was later removed before answering the rest of the mailbag on 26 January.''

===Enough evidence===
{{Email|From: Andrew Rinker <ffa_chewster@yahoo.com>

I'm just wondering why you were so rude in your response to the [[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|final question in mailbag 43]] (from Keith Keithson). All he did was present an in depth, well thought out argument. Is that how you respond to any argument you do not agree with? Wouldn't it be better to actually attempt to refute his claims? All you are doing with your response is showing that you have no evidence to refute his claims, and are therefore conceding that they are, in fact, the truth. No disrespect intended, I'm just curious why you don't simply take the time to present your own counterpoints to his, rather than just telling him to "go fuck yourself". That's very rude, and only serves to portray you in a negative light.}}
{{EmailReply|I do not care much for those who question my claim on Sonichu, especially after I have acquired the Paper Copyright Registration on Sonichu for myself. As far as I am concerned, that C.R. is enough Evidence to support me and my Sonichu.}}

===No Artistic Taste===
{{Email|From: Bernardo Garcia <garciscinq@gmail.com>

So let me get this straight, you are saying people who don't like your comic series are mentally underdeveloped and have poor taste?}}
{{EmailReply|You misunderstand and misquote me. I was stating that those who think BLOCKY-STYLE, Low-Resolution drawings are even remotely better than my own hand-drawn style, which I HAVE A WHOLE LOCAL COMMUNITY OF CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA, and MY Church Congregation who all Agree that MY Art Style is Excellent; those who see the Blocky, which is crappy in my point of view AND in Art Experts' P.O.V., as even an inkling of good Have No Artistic Taste. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:31, 27 January 2010 (CET)}}

===The harshest of attitudes===
{{Email|From: Trap Master

Dear Chris

You've said you don't want to remove [[Simonla]] from the comics because it would be taking away [[Wild]]'s girlfriend. It's wrong to put Wild's, a FICTIONAL character, feelings ahead of a real person. Leaving Simonla in your comics is hurting [[Evan]], stop being a monster and do the right thing.}}
{{EmailReply|Evan is overreacting; I do not listen to those who overreact and condescend to me with LOUD Tones and Harshest Attitudes.}}

===Not likely===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Manfred Eicher|Manfred Eicher]] <m.eicher@gmail.com>

Hey Chris,

I am a volunteer with the German Red Cross and I am currently in Haiti helping to bring people's lives back to normal. It's grueling work. It's hot and some people still can't get clean water and food. Although your poster is nice, it won't get things done here. If you really want to help, it often makes a big difference when celebrities donate large sums of money which they encourage people to match. You may have already done this and if you have, you should announce it. Alternatively, if you were to volunteer to come to Haiti and put some elbow grease into the project, it might encourage others to do the same. It would go a lot further than a poster and we would really appreciate the help.

Best regards,
Manfred}}
{{EmailReply|I am considering that greatly, and I have already donated a healthy sum into the funds that have exceeded $57 million.}}

===Mistakes, errors, and ordeals===
{{Email|From: Brianna Ricaud <bricaud75@gmail.com>

Chris, in your reply to my mail you claimed that you always censor adult stuff from your comics and that images were "tricked from you".

Let me remind you that it was YOU that took those pictures. It was YOU that drew a [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|NASTY, PORNOGRAPHIC picture]] of you MOLESTING your best friend [[Megan]]. No one forced you.

You have proved that you're a liar and a hypocrite and you have lost another fan. Alec has never lied and he doesn't do cowardly things and then deny them.

Good riddance,

Brianna}}
{{EmailReply|HE does not have a page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] that has taunted him for over two years; HE was not deceived by Internet [[Trolls]] who pretended to be a number of women who "wanted to be his girlfriend" who trick him into sending them HIS valuable, yet recreatable, possession, a copy of HIS Limited-Copied-and-Distributed-within-Friends-and-Family Life [[DVD]] that he completed on his 25th Birthday. HE never has had to deal with True Women who he thought fully in his heart to be The One Sweetheart, who each [[death|DIED]] Prematurely in [[PandaHalo|Brushfires]], [[Sarah Jackson|Automobile Accidents]], [[Ivy|Suicide]] and [[Julie|whatnot]]. HE has a mental ailment that LACKS in comparison to my own; HE has been MORE Social Outward his whole life, while I HAD TO deal with MORE Social Awkwardness than HE could ever Count and Imagine.

You think I DENY MY OWN MISTAKES, ERRORS and ORDEALS? YOU CAN GO COUNT YOUR OWN CURSES AND SEE HOW THEY OUTWEIGH YOUR OWN BLESSINGS. Or, here's a quote from John Kramer (fictional character with DEPTH), "Live or Die, Make Your Choice." My versions, "Peace or Worry; Fight or Flee; Strong Will or Mistaken Impulses; Draw your Fated-to-Die Sweetheart Alive or Dead; Fact or Fiction...etc., etc., etc.... Make YOUR OWN CHOICES."

Who has had to suffer more in Life: Christian with Autism or Alec with Naive Attitudes?
--ChrisChanSonichu 02:31, 27 January 2010 (CET)}}

===This is why you're losing your fans===
{{Email|From: Cpt. Wyvern <masterwyvern@googlemail.com>

Why do you always criticise the Asperchu comics for being poorly drawn? [[Chris and art|Your art style isn't too great too, y'know]], you don't have much room to criticise others.}}
{{EmailReply|Who are YOU to criticize me? G4 TV's '''X-Play?'''}}

===Chris NEVER deletes letters===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]] <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>

As a fan of your comic, recently I've been feeling insulted by the things you've been saying to us. In your mailbags, you've been calling us hypocrites and mentally devolved, and you've been slashing and ignoring a lot of good questions from your mailbags for no reason. This is no way to be treating your fans. You seem to want us to worship you like you're God or something, and you seem to not be able to maturely handle criticism.

I noticed that other comic artists will actually answer the letters they get. I know you don't like that Leary guy, but at least he answers emails and treats his fans with respect. I hope you do the same before you lose all of your fans.

--Gil}}
{{EmailReply|Well, at least I do answer my Letters. And I am certain he deletes EVERY LAST LETTER he is the least offended by, or REWORDS ALL of such; AT least I put most of those letters in a seperate bag and give them notice and attention appropriately. I feel distraught when I have to put up with such, and I am certain all the other artists do the same, even worse by tossing them into the trashcan like an office person who makes it fun with balling up the paper and shooting the hoop. At Least I give every one of my letters full reading time and thought. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:31, 27 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==
===Baby Chrissie===
[[Image:FuckingHardcore.JPG|thumb|Fuck yea Asperchu.]]
{{Email|From: darkestfor@asia.com

I'm writing because, after seeing the [[Asperchu]] "hardcore" ad, I have decided to give up your baby comic for Alec's mature book. Have fun coloring within the lines, Baby Chrissie. Don't [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] your [[Butt garments|diapers]] too much.}}

===At one point we all had this reaction===
{{Email|From: Harold Man

Dear Chris,

I used to be a big fan of Sonichu for a long time because it seemed to have very subversive themes. You drew in a manner that seemed intentionally bad. Like you were parodying Republican views. But you're serious? That's amazing. No one would like your comic if you were actually being serious. I just told my friends that you're serious and we're are laughing our asses off. You're so naive.

You're really serious. Like, the biggest Sonichu fan forum is full of threads about how hilarious your work is and how they'd write comic book companies to carry your work. Just wait 'til word gets out that you're serious. That you aren't kidding when you say Sonichu is straight. Everyone will leave.

[[Trolls|Your audience]] now is all college students who think you're being ironic and funny. Little kids aren't interested. Believe me, I tried to show my brother. He told me to get the crap out of his face because he was playing [[Hex Bawx|X-Box]]. Kids don't care about cartoons anymore. The only people who read it, read it because it has undertones of homosexuality.

Seriously, I think you misunderstand why Asperchu is popular. Now, its drawing is average, but what hooks readers is the underlying themes. Because of your autism, you don't get it. It's like a big secret joke that you don't see. Maybe you should ask a non-autistic friend to explain it to you. That is, if you care about your fans. They'll all leave and you won't know why.

You're saying Alec shot himself in the foot. Pfft, he made the smarter move by going more adult and serious. He knows his fanbase. Apparently you don't know yours.

I know you won't reply to this because you're a coward.

~ A former fan}}

===Caught in a lie? Just delete the evidence===
[[Image:Issue0Page3.jpg|thumb|Caught in a lie. Again.]]
{{Email|From: levelledcompany@bikerider.com

I saw your "TheTailofRosechu.jpg" image and thought, "Hey, that's not what I remember." Then I looked back at the comics, and sure enough, the Raichu's tail is pointed and sharp, like that of a male's. What gives? Why lie to your fans like this?

You can't just lie to your fans, and you can't just keep going back and changing stuff in your comics. I hated how you changed the "My love quest is finally over" page almost as much as I hate being lied to by a big fat liar like you. It's stuff like this, all the lies and retcons, that make me feel like I should stop reading the comic.

If you want to make things right, apologize, admit your mistake, promise to never make the same mistake again, and (this is the most important part) NEVER DO IT AGAIN. Stop lying, even "small" lies, and quit changing your old stuff.}}
''The writer of this letter is referring to the image found [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|here]].''

===Obviously not===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Who gives a shit if you have [[Heather Iglesias|some lesbian named Heather]] if YOU ALREADY CURED ALL THE HOMOSEXUALS IN CWCVILLE?!?!?!?!?!? Do you even keep track of your plot anymore?}}

===Sweet Alec and Hella Evan===
[[Image:Sweet alec & hella evan.jpg|thumb|80px|I love you man, no homo.]]
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>
Alec and I DO NOT FEAR YOU. This comic symbolizes our unity Against You.
http://i48.tinypic.com/zv90s7.jpg}}

===Savage love===
''Before you click any links, please be aware that the image is of some neckbeard's asshole.''
{{Email|From: adamsavage@discovery.com

Hey Chris its [[Wikipedia:Adam Savage|Adam Savage]] from Myth Busters here! Yes THE Adam Savage! I love your comics and I saw your most recent video telling that damn Asperchu Parody off and how you want them to suck your balls while you stick your middle finger so far up their ass! Righteous man!

I got to thinking about it… And hey you know… I’m am open guy and I say we should try and bust some myths together. Perhaps we could start with the myth about you being homosexual! I’m pretty sure I know the results! I know some great ways we can test it too! You, Jamie, and myself can get together and have a wild night busting that myth wide open so EVERYONE will finally know the truth!

I’ve included a picture of myself doing some very special poses for you and Sonichu so you know its REALLY ME! I hope you like the picture I was thinking of you and your comic series when I took it.

http://bayimg.com/BAjodaaCN

Sincerely yours,

-Adam
P.S. What was your favorite episode on myth busters? Mine has to be the one where we launched the liquid nitrogen frozen butterball turkeys.}}
{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 44

2011-08-09T18:30:55Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 44''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 20 and 21 [[January 2010]] and was answered around [[Biological Clock|6:00 a.m.]] on 22 January 2010.

Of the 14 letters presented, [[Chris]] deleted 6. The remaining 8 actually got longer replies than usual, but these responses were clearly typed in [[anger]] and as a result are almost incoherent. His crazed rant against [[Vivian]] Gee's beloved spokeshamster is the best example of this. Other highlights include telling [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia admin Mao]] to [[Homos|suck his balls]], defending his increasingly depraved actions in [[Sonichu 10]], and several extremely unsubtle attacks on the latter-day episodes of ''12 Oz. Mouse'' and ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''. Then there's his response to [[Evan]], which basically states that Simonla should be his because ''[[Chris and copyright|he wanted]] a ground-type Rosechu anyway''.

==Answered==
===If you think Sonichu is bad, you must be retarded===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Hypocrite is not an adjective. Seriously, couldn't you even do basic research before making yourself look like a total idiot?

[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]
 –noun
 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
 2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

I mean, are you humoring me? I mean, I link you to an interesting article on autism about how autism manifests itself more violently as adults, and you obviously ignore it.

I tell you to go after people who wrong you ([[Gay4Sonichu]]) but you haven't done anything about that but you'll go after Alec.

I tell you to stop losing fans for a reason. Because you're losing fans. Look at that poll. It was posted on [[Cwcipedia|YOUR site]], not the Asperpedia. Wouldn't you think a majority would vote for [[Sonichu]] unless YOU WERE LOSING FANS? THINK ABOUT IT!!

Finally, I tell you to make more pages. You have currently missed at least 14 days of uploading [[comics]]. That's a terrible track record.

You've had Sonichu for 10 years and you haven't gotten anywhere. Maybe you should try harder.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, such works that have "wronged me" as the one you quote are ONLY PARODY, and I see those as Petty and Not Priority. If I worried about EVERYTHING, I would have died long ago from excessive worry and stress.

I find it interesting that you link me to a theory of how [[Autism]] manifests [[Anger]] and Violence within that individual. Obviously you may have been Stereotyping me on such a weak theory.

I have been drawing daily, and because I may miss a day or two, does not mean I won't make up for those days in the number of pages uploaded when I get to uploading.

And '''I GIVE NO ATTENTION to "Polls"'''; in my opinion, "Polls" are just another Petty thing that I do not have to give attention to. Every individual has a right to their own Opinion, and should those people give more towards a Crappily Drawn [[Parody|PARODY]]/SPOOF, then I see that '''those people are devolved mentally and are blind to Best Quality; in other words, [[Family Guy|They Have No Taste At All.]]''' You may as well put up a 24-hour marathon of the later-season [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|"Aqua Teen Hunger Force"]] Episodes in front of those people; they will be NULLIFIED and [[retarded|RETARDED]] not to want to leave the room and go watch the Better-Quality content, of which is My Own Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] Works.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 12:32, 22 January 2010 (CET)}}

===No burglar would steal Chris's stuff===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Max Cady|Max Cady]] <capefear109@gmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I'll bet your collection of [[sex toys|toys]] and [[video games]] are worth a lot of [[money]]. Just out of curiosity, does your house have a burglar alarm or other security measures? What's the average [[police]] response time in [[Ruckersville]]? If a professional burglar were to burgle your [[house]], what do you think would be his odds of getting away with it?

Thanks!

- Max}}
{{EmailReply|Most of the stuff in the house have depreciated in value; no burglar would ever want anything in this house. We do have a good security system in and around the house; we have a good Neighborhood Watch system; the Police are very quick; and the oods of any burglar getting away are slim.}}

===Business proposal===
{{Email|From: Mao Ling <mao@hsienko.com>

Would you like to join the Asperpedia? I'm sure we could use your minor [[fanbase]] as a profit booster of like 5%. I guess. Or something.}}
{{EmailReply|You can suck by balls and take both my Middle Fingers and my Razzberry, because you and your crew draw VERY CRAPPILY, and with y'all shooting yourselves in the feet the way y'all do, you all are going the way of the Later Season "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" or "12 oz Mouse" episodes; DOWN THE TOILET.}}

===Clearly it's not working===
{{Email|From: frommouse@myself.com

By my calculations, you have lost anywhere from 75 to 90% of your fanbase in about a month's time. Why do you think this is, and how do you plan to solve this problem?}}
{{EmailReply|I am doing what I can; I continue to draw my pages, update the Cwcipedia, and make my [[YouTube|video announcements]] from time to time.}}

===On the defensive===
{{Email|From: Sheldon Lee <shelltoontv@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

Just a few questions:

1) You are a Christian, correct? Well, how can YOU, a so-called CHRISTIAN, justify a GOD-LIKE figure BREAKING INTO SOMEBODY'S PLACE, and DESTROYING EVERY SINGLE THING?

2) How can YOU possibly call anybody in your comic a HERO if all they do is KILL, BREAK IN, and INVADE PRIVACY?

3) Who the fuck do YOU think you are to say what somebody CAN and CAN'T do in PARODIES?

4) How can YOU justify CENSORSHIP when you ALWAYS claim that you are TRUE and HONEST? Do you have something to hide?

5) Who the fuck are YOU to tell people HOW to live, just because YOU don't like it?

Seriously Chris, if you fail to answer these questions, then you are not being TRUE and HONEST.

Signed,

Shelltoon}}
{{EmailReply|1) It was [[Wikipedia:All your base|for Good Justice]]. 2) The deed had to be done; I was not going to let Alec and his crew get away with their Badly Drawn items. 3) I am the Original Creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of [[Cwcville]], and I have the Copyright Registration Papers to prove it further. 4) I have nothing to hide, but which '''would you rather have, Blood, Guts, Graphic Nudity and Foulest Language ALL-AROUND''', or '''Clean Stories that Clean Up such dirty and grimy content and continues to not feature Bloody and Gorey content that would make you feel queasy?''' 5) Who are you for asking me such bombastic questions?

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 13:01, 22 January 2010 (CET)}}

===The great <s>dictator</s> director===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Hi Chris,

I'm killing off [[Simonla Rosechu]] in an upcoming Moon-Pals strip. She will be beaten over the head with a mace and shot into the sun. After her death, please remove Simonla from your comics to avoid confusing
any readers.

Thanks,

Sean Watley}}
{{EmailReply|No. Because you do not have MY POWER of being the Original Artist, Creator and Director, so ALL OF WHAT YOU DO IS PURE FICTION to MY FACT.}}

===I want to see Simonla die so very badly===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>
First you steal Alec's Asperchu and MISINTERPRET HIM AS A [[Homos|HOMO]] with his "Extreme Electric Makeover", but NOW you've gone and taken Simonchu...

For the LAST TIME, I don't want your "Brother/Sister Plan". I want NONE of my characters in your comic, not TWO mockeries of my
character. You're a sick, depraved [[troll]].

I want Simonla dead as a doorknob. Remove Simonchu from the Haiti image and kill Simonla, or my lawyers will have to have a word with the Sysop. This is your last warning.

Secondly, it's pronounced "ee-cee-gee-ville".

Oh, and by the way, since I see you're stealing Simonchu now: you do realize that by putting him in the Haiti image, you've included the first bisexual character into Sonichu? That's right, Simonchu is BISEXUAL.

Do you really want a partially gay character in your comics? Or a character ripping off a partially gay character? I think this is more incentive than ever to kill Simonla.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, just because one offers someone a Makeover does not make that person a homo. Look at ALL of the Home and Garden, The Learning Channel and Discovery Channel Shows; would you call of those people who Redesign a House, Cook Good Quisines and Seperate Myth from Fact homosexuals? No, you would not.

Second, Big Whoop-De-Doop Deal; I have [[Heather Iglesias|a Spanish Lesbian who is Babysitter]] for the Sonichu Family's Children and lives Next-Door to them.

Third, I am Paper Registered to EVERYTHING Sonichu and Rosechu; YOU only COPIED from MY Original.

And Look here Mister, Before I created Simonla, I wanted a Ground-Type Sonichu or Rosechu in my World. And IF I start with a Normal Rosechu, give her ground and dirt for skin, add some Drills, Natural Second Transparent Eyelids, an Armadillo Shell with a Drill Spot for a Marking on the front, and Construction Shoes, DOES NOT MEAN AT ALL of YOUR story of "Re-Modifying Simonchu with a [[Vagina]]"; '''THE TWO ARE SEPARATE, INDIVIDUAL CHARACTERS''', so do us all a favor and [[Chris and hypocrisy|QUIT B****ING AND STRESSING YOURSELF TO YOUR OWN PREMATURE DEATH]].

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 13:01, 22 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Because a video made years ago can show how you've lost weight now===
{{Email|From: Sanae Fujita <sanae724@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Could you make a video wearing your Ash Ketchum costume? I'm sure you'll fit into it, what with you no longer being overweight.}}
{{EmailReply|I have already done that in a past Song Video.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Collossal Chan sucks so amazingly bad===
{{Email|From: From [[Wikipedia:Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy|Trevor McFur]] <Trevor@jaguar.com>

Chris, I have been reading the comic and, well, let me just tell you that "Collossal Chan" is not a very good idea. The design looks ridiculous, the powers are ridiculous, and the whole thing couldn't be any gayer.

However, this Mitch Sonichu character has some potential. I think you should focus more on him.

Love,

Trevor}}

===The love quest continues===
{{Email|From: b2147928@uggsrock.com

Considering you're playing daft asshole, let me answer YOUR question with ANOTHER question.
How come you're such a faggot?

You completely ignored the fucking question because you know that your shitty toys are worth more to you then the love any woman can ever provide. I don't horde thousands of toys from the late 80's in my room, Chris; because I'm actually an adult who gets sex.
See how simple it is? No toys equals lots of sex.

Duhhh.}}

===Echo===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Nothing|Nothingness]]

Chris, you have to let it be and live in piece from now on. All your characters decided to move to my city of Eternityhausen and then killed themselves or became gay. I AM THE GREATEST DIRECTOR!}}

===Fabulous===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
And a followup.

Look Chris, the audience you're targeting can't even use the internet. So how are they supposed to find you? You lost all your older fans to the more mature Asperchu.

Also that makeover bullshit you pulled makes you look gay. Seriously, don't you know only gay men give makeovers? You seem to be aware of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy...so...just sayin'}}

===Sonichu needs to die so much===
{{Email|From: spergin@googlewave.com

Hi Chris!

I saw that [[Wild]], [[Punchy]], and [[Angelica]] got killed off! Wow! Really brings the mortality of the [[Sonichus]] home, doesn't it? That's so daring, and it gives the characters such amazing pathos to work with, I'm really excited to see what'll happen next! For a long while there it didn't seem like you had a full grasp on the idea of using profound, deeply personal loss to further character development, but with this twist, my doubts are gone. Of course, like the rest of the [[fanbase]], I'll be assuming that any appearances by Wild, Punchy, or Angelica in your comic from now on are grief-induced hallucinations.

I've heard some people saying that you might even be thinking of the hugest step yet... after all, characters need pathos, and what would give Asperchu the most pathos of all? I barely even want to say it, but killing his bestest joy-boy, Sonichu, would be so beautifully tortuous for Asperchu, it would transform the comic from entertainment to utter art. Are you thinking about this? I just want you to know that the fanbase is behind you all the way!

Kindest regards,

Spergin}}

===On Rosechu's man-parts===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]] <rhajile@safetymail.info>

"Well Excuse Me for MISDRAWING ONE DETAIL"

It's not one detail. Throughout the comic, even Rosechu herself has a male pointed tail. Not once have you ever drawn her with a blunt, female Raichu tail.

I'm judging by facts. What are you judging by?

You cannot say that "grass is blue" when it's obviously green. And you cannot say Rosechu is a female when she has a male appendage on her tail.

It's no wonder why the pictures of her "[[pickle]]" were drawn as a result. You were the one who started it.

Sincerely,

Randam Hajile}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 43

2011-08-09T18:22:05Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 43''' was uploaded onto the [[CWCipedia]] on 19 [[January 2010]] and answered on 21 January 2010. This is the first official [[Mailbag]] following [[Chris]]'s decree of no [[Asperchu]] letters.

Amongst this set of letters, we get another answer as to why Chris hates Asperchu, explains why he turned Asperchu into [[Mitch Sonichu]], he also tells a letter writer who calls him out on his Asperchu manifesto to go fuck himself and removes another letter that calls him out on his Christian overtones, especially how he made [[Ultra Sonichu]] into [[Jesus]].

Perhaps the most bizarre letter is his response to [[Evan]], where he claims that Simonchu (Evan's fictional character) has already attempted to convince [[Simonla]] to leave [[CWCville]]. In fact, he writes what amounts to a ([[Chris and writing|terrible]]) short story to justify his continued use of Simonla in his comic.

On 26 January 2010, Chris moved the letter telling the person to go fuck himself into the Rejected Mailbag.

==Answered==
==="Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work"===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hi,

I find it strange that you think Asperchu is bad for swears and anti-religiousness when your favorite shows like [[South Park]] and [[Family Guy]] do the exact same thing. Please explain your logic.}}
{{EmailReply|It is because "Asperchu" is considered a parody to My Sonichu and Myself, and to have the comparisons between the two, it is a kick in the bells to have My Good Quality Hand-Drawn Work compared to such Gross Low-Class, Low-Resolution, Blocky-Style stuff like "Asperchu". And from that, I BLAME the artist, Alec Benson Leary, to force the characters into such shameful and distasteful acts. I do not blame the characters, because it is NOT Their fault that their "Director" directs them to do those things.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris defends Ultra Sonichus OPness===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]] <Hadogei@gmail.com>

Hey, I hope you don't count this as an "Asperchu" question and delete this because it's not:

Some questions about the new pages: 1.) If Ultra Sonichu's powers include curing [[Asperger's Syndrome]], why don't you tell Ultra Sonichu to cure your [[autism]]? 2.) Why do you say that Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu needs a makeover, and that his glasses are terrible, when the outfit he was wearing is the same as one you own, and his [[glasses]] look like your glasses? 3.) Is Ultra Sonichu supposed to be a Christ-like figure? Isn't this kind of blasphemous since Sonichu is a Christian?

Thanks for answering!

Masaki Sumitani}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is a cartoon; it is not like I can summon him into Real Life and use the Chaotic Crystal Power to cure my Mental Block for Real. 2) If you were in Asperchu's situation where you were constantly drawn to LOOK and ACT retarded all the time, would you not want a Makeover to make you more confident, intelligent and such? 3) A Christian Individual, or ANYONE for that matter, has the capability to do such things in acts of generosity; it Does Not necessarily make that individual THE Jesus Christ. The [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] Considered Mine, the Original Sonichu, a Savior, because from the later-named Swift Sonichu, he had Foretold of the True Original coming to their Rescue and Aid. If you were rescued from a life-threatening situation, quick-as-a-flash, by someone, would you not consider that person A Savior or Hero? There is nothing "blasphemous" about the generous deed and act.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===We can watch it ourselves, thanks.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]] <spamspamspam@aol.com>

Dear Chris: What [[Monty Python]] sketch is your favorite? Mine is Eric Idle's "Storytime" sketch, which can be seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/ylmgwu4

I find it hilarious because I can't imagine what kind of sick pervert would put that kind of stuff in something intended for children.}}
{{EmailReply|I like the Parrot Sketch. "Look, Matey. This Parrot wouldn't VOOM if I put 4,000 volts through it. It's bleeding demised. It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more; it has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. It is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If he hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an Ex-Parrot. '''You have to complain until you're blue in the mouth to get your way around here'''."}}

===Surrrrrrrrrre...===
{{Email|From: Lars Underwood <kneelbeforelarsunderwood@aol.com>

Chris,

In the Sonichu comics you've drawn your Sonichus and Rosechus praying to you. Do the other citizens of CWCville pray to you, too? The reason I ask is that I'm trying to start a cult, and was wondering how you got people to see you as an all-powerful, Godlike figure. So far my cult is only my girlfriend and a couple of other kids at my high school, but I think that's pretty good for a senior. Any advice for a fellow cult leader?

Lars Underwood}}
{{EmailReply|You are mistaken, I have never drawn my Sonichus and Rosechus praying to ME; they pray to God and Jesus like everyone else. I do not care much for Cults, because they often lead towards a life-threatening situation often.}}

===Chris still hates the gays===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I apologise for the earlier e-mail in which I enquired about Asperchu and completely overlooked your own talents.

Your recent comic pages, in which you provided a makeover for Asperchu to give him a new look as "Mitch Sonichu", has proved to me that you have your own unique skills and qualities. This makes you perfect for television! We're starting up a remake of a classic TV show in which young, style-setting gentlemen such as yourself give fashion pointers to volunteers.

If you would like to be on the lineup of the brand new, remade "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", please get in touch with me.}}
{{EmailReply|I heard that was a [[gay]] show, and I am Straight, so no thank you.}}

===Chris defends the makeovers===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|Dot Wayneright]] <neg0t8r@paragoncity.net>

Greetings!

From your latest comic, I see you have cured Asperchu and ''Alec's (Unapproved) Recreation of your'' [[Chaotic Combo]]. I noticed that many of your characters were not happy with their names and role. It's a bold step for a writer to change ''someone else's'' characters around like that. ''However, I was surprised to see that not only did [[Bubbles Rosechu]] forget about [[Blake]] when her name changed to Kitty, but she also claims "she'd hit that," which implies she had a pickle! Has Bubbles always been a hermaphrodite or was this only since your Chaotic Remedy on her?''

Regards,
Dorothy Wayneright}}
''Chris added the first two italicized portions, and deleted the third one from the original letter.''
{{EmailReply|What I have done was only done to Alec's "version" of MY Electric-Hedgehogs; The Original Sonichus and Rosechus are STILL the way they are. Kitty was referring to that the madeover Asperchu, now Mitch Sonichu, looked very handsome.}}

===...Well, this is disturbing!===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
Why do you think that putting in "evan.ip" in a computer will block
me? That's not even an IP address, that's just my name and the letters
"IP". Furthermore, you do it in your [[comic|COMIC]], not in real life. Do you
think CWCville actually exists or something?

Also take Simonla out of your comic.

-Evan}}
{{EmailReply|No. As a matter of fact, [[Chris and reality|YOUR Simonchu]] came to Cwcville while I was holding a Town Meeting, came up to Simonla (Simonchu's Sister) while The True [[Wild Sonichu]] was with Her. Simonchu told Simonla that you wanted her back home as quickly as possible. Simonla REFUSED Heavily; She is Very Happy in Cwcville, VA, rather than the [[Chris and Censorship|c***]]-shack known as "Ecgville". ([[CWCville|HOW IS THAT SO-CALLED CITY PRONOUNCED ANYWAY?]] It sounds like a very "Eckie" Ailment, possibly Cold-Like.) Simonchu uses force, yet Wild attacks him with his Razor Leaf and unleashed his grasp of her. Wild says, "The lady said that she does not want to return with you." Simonchu replies, "Listen, shock-breath, I'll quake you away in a rock's-throw." Wild says, "Well, before you can even throw a rock, I will have quick-as-a-flash Vine Whipped you, and launched you to fly back to your Villa of Eck." Wild launches his Vine Whip which was Super-Effective against Simonchu's Ground-Type body, and throws him back to that city in Minnesota.

[[Chris and reality|Later, Simonchu reports to you that she refuses to return to you, and you realize that with MY G.D.C. Powers, you have to let it be and move on in peace in real life.]] [[Chris and his Ego|I am the Great Director Chandler!]]

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===Go Fuck Yourself, too!===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, here's my response to your BLATANT CENSORSHIP and DENIAL OF FREE SPEECH in [[Mailbag 41]].

"1) Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All."

Did Sega give you permission to use [[Sonic]] and Eggman? How about [[Nintendo]]? Did they let you use Giovanni or any [[Pokemon]]?

No. They didn't. The only way Sonichu can stay afloat is because it is a [[Parody|PARODY]]. And PARODIES do not need to ask permission.

"2) I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content. "

You have no right to decide on this, the SysOp needs to keep the website up some how. And if it were not for her efforts, the website would have crashed by now.

I mean, she certainly cares about keeping the site up. You nearly got it destroyed when you stole from Coke and Fox.

"4) The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original Sonichus and Rosechus in and around Cwcville, [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville."

Blocky? Chris, perhaps you don't realize that half the time you can't keep the size of a character consistent. Body parts inflate and deflate at random and at one point a character went from square to spherical within the same page. Heck, people could write a book on your horrible drawings.

"5) At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book."

Chris, you can't judge your drawing style and his because you're biased in your own favor.

I personally think Alec is a better artist. At least he always provides a goddamn background and doesn't textwall out of pure lazyness.

"7) From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself (Christian Weston Chandler), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE"

This relates to you, the comic, and how you can't draw. So yeah, if you delete this I'll know that you're lying out your ass. AGAIN.}}
{{EmailReply|You can go f*** yourself.}}

==Gone Forever==
===Chris will always be beautiful to someone===
{{Email|From: Mirko Calusic <sathael@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have to say, even though Alec is a much better atist, I prefer your Sonichu over his Asperchu comic, because your comic supports the homosexual lifestyle. I understand that you've lost a bunch of fans, but I want you to know that the [[homos]]exual population will always support you. Heck, probably all the fans you have left are gay.

I have to admit, I find you very attractive. Often I've dreamt of your sweaty body pressing against mine. First I would suck your tiny cock and then I'd ram my manstaff up your butthole, all the while massaging your large soft breasts. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know about that.

I've drawn some fanart for you as well!

http://tinyurl.com/yftsew7}}

===The everlasting man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Keith Chesterton|Gilbert Keith Chesterton]] <FaithfulMan@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,

The creators of the award winning Evangelical Christian cartoon "Veggie Tales" were once interviewed about the nature of creating a Christian work of art with characters that were explicitly not human. Their response was actually very well-thought-out. They said that they took special time and effort to make sure that their adaptations of biblical stories emphasized what could be learned and applied to life though the passage, was nothing short of completely respectful to the book upon which they placed their faith, and was appropriate for very young children. They also spoke of their all-important rule #1:

'''Never''' would they depict Jesus as a vegetable.

It's not right, they said. Jesus is the son of God, the most important thing in our lives. The reason we're even doing this is to try and help others understand how important Jesus is. It doesn't matter that every other character is a plant byproduct, the setting and tone of the show are ultimately unimportant. Showing Jesus as anything less than what we believe him to be would be blasphemy.

And they're right! To put words in Jesus's mouth, to depict Jesus as he wasn't, to use his or God's holy name in vain, it's all blasphemy. Blasphemy's not like other sins like envy, lust, or wrath, it's wrong on two distinct levels. On one it's direct disrespect to your creator. One the other it hurts your credibility as a Christian. If a Christian blasphemes himself in public, or puts blasphemous things in the internet where everyone can see them, it becomes harder to take them seriously. If someone who's legitimately interested in accepting God into their life sees it, they'll likely think "I thought Christians were supposed to love God, but obviously it's all a lie, because someone who loved God wouldn't act that way."

Bearing all that in mind, why did you represent Jesus as an orange sonic the hedgehog?

Don't say you didn't. Issue 10, page 48. You even drew the tomb being cast open, just like when Jesus rose on the third day. "Hyper Sonichu" or whatever you call him appears with his arms spread (as though nailed to a crucifix) in a beam of light, while some sort of purple soldier kneels before him, in awe. For a few short pages, you had the gall to mock God, turning Jesus, a man without sin into a character that just a few pages ago toppled a building, killing hundreds. A character that spends all his time having sex with his wife or punching old women in the face.

I could understand an Atheist doing this as some sort of protest against Christian hypocrisy, but you claim to be a steadfast believer. So my question to you Chris is in what way could this possibly be considered a Christian piece of work, when you so blatantly mock God?

Sincerely,

G. Chesterson}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 42

2011-08-09T18:20:33Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 42''' was uploaded by the [[CWCipedia]]'s Sysop on 17 [[January 2010]] and answered on 19 January 2010. Many of the letters in it were originally placed in [[Mailbag 41]], and were moved in order to make 41 all [[Asperchu]] from start to finish.

[[Chris]] answered it right before midnight on 20 January 2010. Compared to the stuff Chris pulled in the last few mailbags, this one is painfully dull. Chris takes a few moments to try to explain why he's not cool with dating a [[black]] girl, gets all pissy about the fact that [[Rosechu]] is apparently transgendered, and fails to address the fact that he hadn't changed shirts in the better part of a week. The rest of it's all the normal Chris BS we've all read before.

==Answered==
===Chris is a great artist===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Augustus Hill|Augustus Hill]] <ahill@virginia.usa.com>

Yo Chris,

Why is all [[:Category:Fan art|Sonichu fanart]] better than your original [[Sonichu]] art?

Cheers}}
{{EmailReply|While some are better, and some are worse (especially all that are Low-Resolution and Blocky-Style), than my own hand-drawn style, NOT ALL are better; that is your own exaggerated opinion (no personal offense meant).}}

===Nose to the grindstone===
{{Email| From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Yo Chris, seriously when I mean stop losing [[fans]]. I meant it. Like dude, the Asperpedia is gonna wipe you out in approximately 5 weeks. Seriously. I'm not joking. Also, you should make 5 pages a day.}}
{{EmailReply|[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I am working on it]].}}

===White supremacy is now a "noble cause"===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jaz Hoyt|Jazz Hoyt]] <jazzhoyt@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris,

Are you worried that if whites and people of colour continue to have children together, the entire white race will be wiped out? We'll be nothing more than a race of coffee coloured people.

I am part of a group that fights against this. I'm not racist - I just don't want to see whites become extinct.

Will you join us?

Your friend,
Jazz.}}
{{EmailReply|Possibly a noble cause, yet sounds racial. I will not join your group, but thank you for extending the offer.}}

===Weapons-grade racism===
{{Email|From: Annie Miss <toggaf@gmail.com>

You were asked if you were against interracial marriages.

Your [[Mailbag 37#So basically yes|response]] was, and I quote, "No I do not mean that. I mean Old Fashioned as in the Classic white-marry-white type of thing."

SO IN OTHER WORDS YOU'RE AGAINST INTERRACIAL MARRIAGES ''YOU DUMB FUCK''}}
''Chris deleted the italicized words, because he's a dumb fuck in denial.''
{{EmailReply|You misword me, I meant that I personally am NOT against Other People in having interracial relationships and marriage. The quote you bring up to question is in reference to Only Myself considering interracial relationships, of which I have stated earlier that while I am comfortable with being Friends with black people, I do not feel comfortable with pursuing a relationship with them Myself.

"What may be right for you, may not be right for some"; I fall within the "some", but I do not and will not discourage interracial relationships of any kind for everybody else. We are Individual People after all, and this is a mostly free country we live in.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:25, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris assumes all adult males spend most of their money on toys===
{{Email|From: b1496380@uggsrock.com

Hey Chris.

You say you've watched the 40-Year-Old [[Virgin]] a grand number of times. Well remember the part in the film where his friends are trying to help him get laid and they get him to move all of the toys out of his house? How come you don't get rid of your toys? Women don't like manchildren, dude.}}
{{EmailReply|Forgive me for answering your question with another question, but considering you ask me the question, you are likely having the same problem, so I ask you, Why don't YOU sell your stuff? Think about it.}}

===It was just a girl that had all the physical characteristics of a boy===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]] <rhajile@safetymail.info>

According to the Bulbapedia, the #1 source for [[Pokemon]] related facts, it states this:

"Gender differences:
A female Raichu has a smaller, blunted lightning bolt at the end of its tail."

Yet, the Raichu which Rosechu evolved from has the male pointed tail. So on a factual basis, Rosechu evolved from a male. Thus making her transgendered.

I don't see how you could object to that. Even if you made a mistake while drawing, it doesn't change what Rosechu evolved from. 
Sincerely, Randam Hajile}}
{{EmailReply|Well Excuse Me for MISDRAWING ONE DETAIL, BUT the Fact Remains that the Raichu Rosechu transformed from WAS FEMALE. Do Not Judge a Pok'emon by their Shape, or "Don't Judge a Book by its Cover."}}

===The return of autism shots===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Williams|John Williams]] <bigbootybitches357@aol.com>

Hey Chris,

If you ever find a girlfriend and have kids are you going to get them vaccinated, since vaccines are supposed to give them [[autism]]?

Oh, and you should thank that [[Asperchu]] guy for the all free publicity he's been giving you lately.

John Williams}}
{{EmailReply|I'll consult the physicians about that when the time comes. And to the second comment, I say, "Whatever, I have no comment."}}

===It's called an art style===
{{Email|From: Brianna Ricaud (bricaud75@gmail.com)

If you delete, edit or ignore this e-mail you will have lost another fan. I expect a well reasoned reply.

Chris, why are you such a hypocrite? You denounce nudity and cursing in Asperchu's comics, but the nudity in Asperchu is tasteful and restrained and the cursing is relevant to the story. However you have drawn HARDCORE PORN of your Sonichus and cursed a lot more in your [[Youtube]] videos. There are also a lot of videos and pictures of YOURSELF doing FILTHY, DISGUSTING things and showing your privates, but you feel you can judge Alec for drawing a few innocent pictures.

You have lost a lot of fans and unless you SINCERELY apologize to Alec and acknowledge that Asperchu is a better comic and step up your own efforts, you will lose the few fans you have left.

Brianna}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I am not a hypocrite; I drew what I did because I was under the stressed influence brought on from the [[anger]] and rage against the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] webpage. Besides which, I have censored the parts with images of Lemons and Bananas in the past, and I had ISSUED THE WARNING on the uncensored versions with the "TV-MA" recreation and that if you were UNDER 18, you should not view that content.

And those other images from My Person of My Person were TRICKED FROM ME in the past BY THE TROLLS behind Encyclopedia Dramatica.

And Asperchu is NOT a better comic, because of the Defaultly-Uncensored Content WITHOUT WARNING, and it is drawn in a Grotesque Low-Resolution Blocky-Style.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:25, 21 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Revenge of No Comment III: The unbeing statement===
{{Email|From: Harold
No, Chris, I'm clearly not stereotyping you.

You really don't understand love. You're confusing it with merely liking a person. What do you think love is? Physical attraction plus liking someone? No, it's deeper than that.

Like, I really don't blame you for wanting to cure the [[homos]]. You can't understand what it's like to be in love. If you did, you would realize it's horrible to cure homos. You're tearing them away from their loved ones. You aren't capable of understanding their feelings, so you don't get why everyone is so mad.

Don't worry about it. It's not your fault.

~ A fan }}
{{EmailReply|No Comment.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything===
{{Email|From: Richard Allonger <longhardroadtonowhere@mail.com>

Chris,
I noticed in that [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|Mr. Plow video]] that you recently made that the shirt you've worn for the past 3 days says "RUGBY" on the back, and that you seem to love wearing rugby shirts for some reason. The sport of rugby is quite popular in various gay communities in America. Isn't that interesting? Your favorite type of shirt comes from a sport that gay people love! Here's the website of the biggest league: http://www.igrab.net/

Richard Allonger}}
''Chris messed up the reply template, causing his response to display incorrectly.''
{{EmailReply|My mother bought the shirt for me FROM a Goodwill; just because I wear it does not mean that there is anything favored about it.}}

==Gone forever==
===His name was Robert Paulson===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Fight Club#Robert "Bob" Paulson|robert.f.paulson]]@gmail.com

Chris,

Why have you been wearing the same shirt for multiple days in a row? This represents a very poor concept of hygiene. The shirt must smell awful and the smell could easily make people sick. Try teaching our children better values like washing your clothes every once in a while. You do this far too often.

You disgust me,
Robert}}

===On backmasking===
{{Email|From: Father [[Wikipedia:Tomás de Torquemada|Tomas Torquemada]] <auto_de_fe@gmail.com>

Chris,

What you're saying in [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|that video]] is NOT Spanish and is NOT Christian. Christians (and Spanish-speaking people) DON'T cast DEMONIC SPELLS on other people. You kids all think SIGNING A CONTRACT WITH THE DEVIL and SELLING YOUR SOUL for EVIL POWERS is "cool", but you'll regret it. Have fun BURNING IN HELL with your new best pal SATAN for being a WITCH.

Father Tomas Torquemada}}

===On brain voodoo===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Kareem Saïd|Kareem Siad]] <supreme@allah.com>

Chris,

I was a steadfast Sonichu fan until your [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|recent video]] when I suddenly found myself LOVING Asperchu and HATING Sonichu. I do not know why, but I guess I'll have to turn to the Asperpedia for my comic fix.

K.S.}}

===On Christian's total disregard for Christianity===
{{Email|From: Mark <SMark700@hotmail.com>

Chris I am disappointed in your comics, it's not the comics themselves but the remarks you've been making about Asperchu. You call it out on being unreligious.

However I've come to figure that you only [[Chris and religion|believe in God]] because you think you can get him to do things for you. Whether it's to [[Jason Kendrick Howell|kill people you have disagreements with]] or to get yourself a women. I don't think it says anywhere in the bible God is a tool for you to get your greatest desires, Thats the devils job. You've said you succesfully cursed [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and others out of vengeance, but at what cost(your soul?).

That power would have to come at a price, would God really bless you with powers to ruin lives. Or would the Devil notice an easy target to spread around chaos and take your soul at the end of your life?}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 41

2011-08-09T18:19:42Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 41''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 15 [[January 2010]]. Two days later, WikiSysop moved a part of the unanswered E-Mails to the [[Mailbag 42]], resulting in Mailbag 41 being an entirely [[Asperchu]]-centric work. Around 5 AM January 19, [[Chris]] deleted every single e-mail, and replaced them all with an enraged manifesto.

Even as an Itemized list that ignores everything his fans asked him, the furious screed still manages to have a few highlights. His claim that he did several "Comparison Drawings" of his work VS Asperchu, and that this allowed him to somehow objectively determine that his was better is pretty interesting. He also finally comes clean about his blatant censorship of other mailbags, stating that if the subject of a letter is not completely dedicated to the only thing Chris truly loves (i.e., himself), it will be deleted.

It should be noted that when Chris was raging against Asperchu, there were only two Ads on the entire [[CWCipedia]], and that neither of them actually linked to Asperpedia. One sidebar ad linked to a poll, where True and Honest fans could vote for their favorite comic, and one banner ad, asking people to help the victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]].

Disgusted with Chris's refusal to answer legitimate fan questions, the staff of Asperpedia saved a copy of the letters, and placed them in Alec Benson Leary's [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Fan_Mail_6 6th fan mail column].
==Answered==
===Manifesto===
{{EmailReply|From: ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com

ATTENTION TO ALL PEOPLE who have been reading Asperchu. Allow me to be perfectly clear about the repetitive questions that I would rather not answer, because '''I HAVE NO CONNECTION OR ASSOCIATION WITH ALEC OR ASPERCHU WHATSOEVER.''' So, get ready for Itemized Itinerary:

'''1)''' Alec and his crew have No Right Whatsoever on MY original Sonichu/Rosechu Characters; I Never Ever Gave Him OR his crew ANY permission to use them At All.

'''2)''' I never gave him permission to place ANY advertisements for his Low-Rate Work and Copycat Website; he bought [[Jack]] Thaddius out WRONGFULLY. I still Disapprove of his ads in any shape or form regardless of image content.

'''3)''' I have No Contact With Alec, and until He REMOVES HIS Advertisements from MY Cwcipedia, I am reluctant to have contact with him on topics OTHER than Him REMOVING ALL OF HIS ADS from MY Cwcipedia as a Sign of Peace and Good Will.

'''4)''' The Cwcipedia IS DESIGNED MAINLY FOR the Original [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] in and around [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]]; Alec and his blocky-drawn characters are in Minnesota, and therefore are NOT Associated Officially With Cwcipedia OR the world of Cwcville.

'''5)''' At the time, I have done Comparison Drawing within the recent 12 pages I have drawn and uploaded between HIS drawing style and Mine. Obviously Mine is the Superior, because it is more pleasant to look at, and it was Hand-Drawn, versus Computer-Drawn which Alec and his crew have chosen for their media. Officially, I still have NO association with Alec at all, even after this short-time addition within the 10th Book.

'''6)''' '''Asperchu is NOT MY CHARACTER, PERIOD.'''

'''7)''' From this day forward, Any and All future messages that DO NOT ADDRESS Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself ([[Christian Weston Chandler]]), or anything that is originated ONLY ON the Cwcipedia will be DELETED. ADDRESS ALL Asperchu inquires ONLY to Alec Benson Leary on HIS COPYCAT WEBSITE.

So there, and thank you for understanding.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 12:08, 19 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==
===Alec Benson Leary is favorable===
{{Email|From: animeguy28@twcny.rr.com

Hey Chris!

i love Alec Benson Leary! can you ask him for me if he is taken? because i like him WAY better than you.

-Nobuyoshi Shigeta, New York}}

===In which Alec Benson Leary is damn sexy===
{{Email|From: halerzUT1987@yahoo.com

I think Alec Benson Leary is hot. Could you hook us up?

Halee,
Utah}}

===Heartsweets love Asperchu===
{{Email|From: tyfromCA@gmail.com

Hey Chris, My girlfriend thinks Asperchu is cute.

Tyler,
California}}

===Asperchu is so much better than Sonichu===
{{Email|From: Elisa Embleton <canneryrow@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary is by far the most interesting guy I've heard about this year. And Asperchu is great because it's like Sonichu, except it takes out all of your terrible ideas and replaces them with Alec Benson Leary's great ideas. }}

===Sonichu is a poor spinoff===
{{Email|From: David Price <dprice22@gmail.com>

Hey Chris,

Do you think you could put me in contact with Alec Benson Leary? I know that you and he must have fairly lose ties, since he let you write that [[Sonichu]] comic about one of his minor characters. (Not sure I appreciate the way you mess with Asperchu canon by making Sonichu a [[gay]]-hating straight though.)

Anyway, please put me in touch with him, because I want to offer him a major publishing and distribution deal for his comics. }}

===Lol balding===
{{Email|From: Tasha Honey <LadyTasha@hotmail.com>

You say you know where Alec lives. Can you give me his address? I want to be his sweetheart-from-the-ground-up soooooo bad!! Sorry Chris, but I just can't stand [[hair|balding]] men with [[anger]] issues.

-Tasha}}

===Alternate character interpretation===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Milton Bradley|Milton Bradley]] <B04rd_G4m3r@gmail.com>

Dear Chris

So I've been reading these Asperchu comics, and I really like them! Especially the character Sonichu!

When I found out you had a drawn a fan-comic about Sonichu, I looked you up. Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed. Not only is your Art sub-par compared to Alec Leary's masterful work, but you got Sonichu's character all wrong! In the real comics he's a man who's deeply unhappy about his marriage. He deals with this sorrow by avoiding his wife as much as he can, spending most of his time with his friends. Your take on Sonichu robs him of all character and personality. His subtle pain and deep wit is jarringly replaced with an idiotic grin and a foolish demeanor. I have to say, I really hate what you've done to Alec's Brilliant Character.

Then there's your portrayal of [[Rosechu|Sonichu's wife]]. She hasnt' appeared in the Real Asperchu series yet, so you just drew your own version of her? And that version is basically [[Amy Rose]] with a Tail and some useless spines on her back? That's just depressing man, I would have hoped you could be more creative.

Please stop it with these foolish changes to Alec's Magnum Opus!

Milton}}

===Cooperation===
{{Email|From: The [[Wikipedia:Prinny|Prinny]] of Doom <craftygurl484@yahoo.com>

Chris, I think it was very kind of you to give Sonichu and the [[Chaotic Combo]] over to Alec Leary to use. I hope you two cooperate more in the future.

Lots of love,

Sarah}}

===Presidential praise===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:William McKinley|William McKinley]] <yesthatwilliammckinley@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary is the greatest American I have met this year. Yes, it's only January, but still.}}

===Favorite character===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Neil Gaiman|Neil Gaiman]] <Asperchuisawesome@yahoo.com>

Dear Chris,
I love Asperchu! It's such a great story with excellent artwork! I was wondering, can you tell me who your favorite Asperchu character is? I like Jivin the best!

Thanks,
Neil}}

===A thank-you note of sorts===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Kathryn Janeway|Kathryn Janeway]] <NCC74656@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris! I just wanted to say that I love that you're adverising this "Asperchu". He's so adorable! I kind of like him more than Sonichu. But it's good that you're supporting parodies like that. :)

- Kathryn}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 40

2011-08-09T18:18:59Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 40''' was uploaded on the [[CWCipedia]] on 13 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered one question and deleted another on 14 [[January 2010]]. Then a day later, he answered (and deleted) the rest.

This mailbag also has the highest deletion rate of any mailbag so far. Out of the 18 letters sent, only 8 were ever answered. In this case, though, the deletions are not Chris's most shocking action. A letter sent by a nurse at a cancer ward asked him for a few autographed copies of the [[Asperchu]] comic, apparently under the false impression that he produced both. Instead of correcting her error, or forwarding the letter to Alec Benson Leary, Chris changed the word "Asperchu" to "Sonichu" in her letter and answered it as though it had always been meant for him, saying "consider a donation of a book or two". To summarize, Chris willfully prevented the request of [[Chris and death|CHILDREN DYING OF CANCER]] from ever being carried out in order to service his own ego.

Other notable letters include Chris [[Chris and money|throwing away a hypothetical billion dollars]], not understanding the difference between [[love]] and [[sex]], and the rather terrifying prospect of Chris adding a [[black]] character to compete with Apserchu's Jivin.

==Answered==
===Love does not equal sex===
{{Email|From: Dear Chris,

Don't worry, I've been trying to convince your [[gay]] fans you don't mean any harm by wanting to cure them. See, you don't mean them any harm because as an [[autistic]], you don't understand love.

See, imagine you were madly in love with a person. But then you were forcibly "cured" of your orientation. From your perspective, the person would have no problem finding someone with their new orientation. Why? Well, because without love, you only have sexual attraction. And if it's just sexual attraction, you can easily dump the person and find someone else. But normal, non-autistic people can love.

But don't worry about it. Just remember, when discussing love, there's something you can't understand because you're autistic.

~ A fan}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I DO understand Love; I was LOVED by my family and my friends, and I gave them respective love back in return. You are Stereotyping Me, and THAT, along with MISLABELING, I DO NOT APPRECIATE AT ALL. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===You'd think he'd notice the name===
{{Email|From: [[Blake|Bla Chu]] <blachu@ymail.com>
Chris

How many [[fans]] do you believe [[sonichu]] has? I always figured it would be quite a lot.

Blake}}
{{EmailReply|I have LOTS of Loyal Fans, and I appreciate them very much.}}

===The sound of a million financial analysts screaming===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com

In one of your mailbags, you inform us that [[CWCville]] has 10 soup hotels, each
having 9 inhabitable floors with 10-20 rooms. I addition to this, your
electric-hedgehog [[Pokémon]]s get aid of approximately 3500 bucks per couple.

While I appreciate socialism, couple of questions arise:
 1. Are there so much rich folk in CWCville? What's the overall population?
 2. How high is the tax rate?
 3. Why only one city in the USA has this system?}}
{{EmailReply|1) No, there are only a few Rich People; most of the population are Average Income. 2) I have no idea of "Tax Rate"; I would say it is average along with the rest of the U.S.A. I am NOT a Stock Market Expert Either. 3) Maybe because the other cities have NOT thought of it.}}

===In which Chris throws away a fortune===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]] <Ron.Jeremy@avn.org>
Dear Chris,
I understand that lots of people call you gay, but you are not. I sympathize with you, because lots of people call me gay, too. I'm not gay, I have had lots of sex with women. True, I also had some sex with men, but I didn't love them. It was just for money. I mean, if someone offered you a million dollars, would you have sex with a man? What if they were filming it? A million dollars is a lot of money.
Sincerely,
Ron Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|I would never commit to such a horrendous ace EVEN for a Billion Dollars. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===If he hadn't bolded it, we might not have noticed===
{{Email|From: Debbie Dryden <debbie.dryden@live.com>
Hello Chris,

I am a nurse at Chicago Comer Children's Hospital. I represent a facility that is the forefront of kids' medicine. We are commited to providing healing and comfort to children, with respect and dignity to patients and family.

Recently, the children in the cancer ward have become enamered with your comics. Each day all the children gather in the atrium, and I read to them about the newest adventures! It gives them such joy, and such hope. One little boy tells me about how he dreams of living in Cwcville one day - He has a level 4 brain tumor and is undergoing intense chemotheropy treatment. He carries a medallion with him to treatment everyday. It gives him special powers to fight off the sickness. I believe him when he says it's real.

We feel that your comic is a positive influence on the children. I would like to thank you for doing what you do.

Would you be willing to donate an autographed copy of your '''Sonichu comics''' to our cancer ward?

Kind regards,

Debbie Dryden

Comer Children's Hospital
5721 South Maryland Avenue
Chicago, IL 60637, United States
(773) 702-1000}}
''The bolded "Sonichu comics" originally said "Asperchu's comics". That's right folks, he just changed the request of children dying of cancer to suit his needs.''
{{EmailReply|I may consider a donation of a Sonichu Book or two to the hospital. Thank you for your support. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Somehow Sonichu is still more offensive===
[[File:DownsChu.jpg|thumb|DownsChu]]
{{Email|From: Meredith Reynolds <sonichufan1991@live.com>
Hey Chris, just writing to let you know that I and the rest of the true fans are behind you on this whole Asperchu thing. That is why I have taken the liberty of creating a [[parody]] of my own, Downschu, whose picture I have enclosed.

Downschu is a STRAIGHT electric hedgehog pokemon, who along with his girlfriend, Low Functioning Autistic Rosechu [not pictured], and friends such as Progeria [[Punchy]] [not pictured] and [[Magi-chan|Magichan]] with Tourettes [pictured, but invisible], help to spread the word that Sonichu and his creator Christian Weston Chandler are STRAIGHT, and that Asperchu is a slanderous mockery to all electric hedgehog pokemon who should be put against the wall with all the other "undesirables". Thanks!

P.S. As the creator of Downschu, I hereby give you full permission to feature him and his friends in your Sonichu comics until I say otherwise.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I appreciate your support and your letter. Second, even though I am High-Functionally Autistic, and I have no objections against anyone with mental conditions of any sort, I feel uncomfortable and would RARELY EVER draw any character of that sort in my comics. And I am not comfortable with Your drawing, no offense, but IT is one where the character Looks Stupid, and that offends me. This is because of ALL of the Hateful and Offensive artwork they had featured on the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that PORTRAYED ME and MY CHARACTERS as Stupid, and I personally take offense to such images.

Have a good day,

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:19, 14 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Martin Luther King Jr. rages in his grave===
{{Email|From: kidcosby8557@aol.com
You make fun of Asperchu a lot, but at least Asperchu is a diverse comic. For example, Jivin Pickles is a positive African-American character, and he's one of the main characters. When will your comic feature a positive African-American character as a main character?}}
{{EmailReply|It is planned, but a name has not been decided yet.}}

===Asperchu continues to make the world a better place===
{{Email|From: boogies1885@cheerful.com
I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.}}
{{EmailReply|'''Asperchu is NOT MINE; it belongs to Alec Benson Leary!''' And I have NO Association with that dude WHATSOEVER. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Gone Forever==

===Gay lover===
{{Email|From: nineinchbear@virginia.usa.com
Chris,

It's me, Steve. It's clear to me this relationship just isn't going to work, and you standing me up last night (1/12) was completely unacceptable!!! You certainly seemed interested enough when you contacted me through gaysinglesonline.com. After weeks of long, erotic Online sex chats and keeping in touch through email, YOU said TO ME that you wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I knew well enough that your family wouldn't understand and we would have to keep this as our little secret. You told me to meet you at Escafe in [[Charlottesville]] at 7:00. Guess what, I was there and WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!? I sat there like an idiot for 3 hours waiting on you, calling your cell phone and getting no response until finally I just had enough and left. So now I'm pissed, and I don't care about our agreement to keep all this discreet. I'll let the whole world know! And by the way, if you don't want me giving all those videos you took of yourself jerking to my picture to the [[trolls]], you'd better have a damn good excuse for your behavior and answer this message!!!!! You just missed out on a great thing, Chris. Your not going to find many more guys willing to accept you for who you are. (Guy's with [[aspergers]] are my fetish.) }}

===Simonchu swings both ways===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Alec Benson Leary has been using my Simonchu in a VERY respectful
manner. He draws him as a MAN, with the PICKLE HE HAS ALWAYS HAD AND
WAS BORN WITH. He has accidentally mislabelled my character as a homo
(however I cannot fault him as I NEVER clarified Simonchu's
preferences in the comic yet). I discussed this with him and set the
record straight (or sort of straight) and told him that Simonchu is a
BISEXUAL, he apologized and intends to Right the Matter. However, I
don't even CARE--it was an HONEST MISTAKE, unlike your DELIBERATE
thieving and gender-changing of MY Character that you REFUSE to right
even in the face of Lawsuits.

Alec has even been KIND enough to feature an ad about my struggles
with the [[Simonla]]/Simonchu Controversy. This is why ALL YOUR FANS WILL
LEAVE YOU, just as I Predicted. You are not KIND to any of them, like
Alec is to HIS [[fanbase]]. He has been Good to Protect my Character from
your SLIMY MITTS.

-Evan Christopher "Ivan" George}}

===Nonstandard anatomy===
{{Email|From: Greg Cats <gregthecatman@yahoo.com>

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a woman on top, but a man on bottom (they have breasts and a female face but they have a penis)?

Is it gay to have sex with someone if they're a man on top, but a woman on the bottom (they have a masculine chest and a male face, maybe even a beard, but they have a vagina)?}}

===No, he was finally openly gay when he bought the sports bras===
{{Email|From: manosthehands@2die4.com
Wait, so you kissed [[Silvana]]? But Silvana has a penis, so that would make you gay. Does this mean you're finally openly gay?}}

===On Chris's continual mistreatment of Wikisysop===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris,

You recently complained to the Sysop that you want the block on the front page removed.

Have you already forgotten that the last time she let you near the ads, she nearly got sued?

You really don't respect women at all, do you?}}

===Also Ted Bundy===
{{Email|From: stingray55@gmail.com
Hey Chris,

I've been reading over your love quest and I think I might have a solution to your problem; I've been reading up on a group of women who become enamored to serial killers and fall in love with them. Within a matter of days of being put on death row these men receive offers of marriage from women all over the country! I'm not saying you should murder anyone, but you could be wrongly convicted on a murder charge and get one of these women to fall madly in love with you. I'm not sure Virginia's laws on conjugal visits but I'm sure they'd allow it! This worked out well for Richard Ramirez and he married a woman while on death row!

It's probably your best shot man!

Good luck!

Your fan,

StingraY}}

===Chris's diseased ticker===
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Hi Christian,

You've talked a lot about your [[heart level]] in the past, referring to whether or not you are broken hearted. But what about your actual heart? I know that your father has had multiple heart attacks throughout his life. Since heart disease runs in the family, are you concerned that you will have a heart attack at some point?

Your fan,
TM}}

===Alec tells it like it is===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian Weston Chandler,

Why do you Threaten me? Why do you hate me enough to THREATEN my life? I only wanted to become a Great and True Artisan like you yourself are. Are you jealous because I have done so? You know, I spend my time making the ASPERCHU comic and devoting to making myself the BEST artisan I can be. I don't spend my time issuing DEATH THREATS, which as you should know by now is a FELONY and against the LAW.

By your OWN admission, I paid Jack Thaddeus to have the Ad Space. That means I legally have the Right to Advertise my creations there, that is how Advertising works. You care so much for your own legal rights so many occasions, Why do you not care for OTHER peoples' legal rights?

Perhaps in the dictatorship of CWCville you have the godly power to kill people who Only want to Aspire to Greatness in their Careers. But in America, we have something called Freedom of the PRESS, where someone who pays LEGALLY for adspace can advertise their Product without fear of MURDER. So I ask you also, why do you hate not only me, but AMERICA? Because you obviously do NOT approve of any different messages than your OWN.

Your former joy-boy,

Alec Benson Leary

P.S. Simonchu is feeling MUCH better now that he and his Lover [[Wild]] are under the safety of ALBville's laws, which protect SAME-SEX MARRIAGE such as THEIRS; Magi-chan likewise enjoys being able to be the Homogay he truly is under my Wise Rule. Perhaps you should devote your energy to fixing CWCville's problems so you don't lose MORE citizens.}}

===Evan chimes in===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

I do not want either Simonchu OR Simonla in your comic, you have LOST
MY TRUST. What about this is SO HARD to understand? looking at How
You've Acted when people give Rosechu a Pickle, you are a HYPOCRITE.

Further proof of this: you speak against Asperchu using Your
Characters, but it's Okay for you to use Mine? You're a Mocking Jerk.
Tell You What: You can keep Simonla in the comics, if you let Alec use
your characters. I don't want you using my Simonchu AT ALL, under ANY
circumstances. You've Already Stolen him ONCE.

Don't you DARE reject this, you coward. Come out and Face Me.

-Evan}}

===On Chris's imaginary unfaithfulness===
{{Email|From: Leslie Triballo <lesliepony@yahoo.com>

You said in your mailbags that [[Meg Griffin]] pushed herself on you and you were powerless to stop her. And that Meg turned out to be Silvana so it's okay.

First of all, your character didn't even TRY to resist her. You flirted with her (saying amongst other things that you would "happily accept" her performing a sexual favor for you), punched a guy out for her (which you wouldn't do if you weren't trying to impress her), and despite her being all over you, not ONE SINGLE TIME did you say, "I'm sorry, but I'm already taken, please stop touching me." You never mentioned Lovely Weather to her at all. You let her do everything she did to you willingly and flirted right back. So stop lying that you were powerless to do anything.

Secondly, your character still thinks she's Meg. So it doesn't matter at all if she's Meg or Silvana. You still willingly flirted with her. That's a pretty lame excuse that no woman in real life wouldn't accept if you were cheating on her like that.

So stop being dishonest. Infidelity and lying isn't something to be teaching kids in your comic.

--Leslie}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 39

2011-08-09T18:18:25Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 39''' was added to the [[CWCipedia]] on 12 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] started answering it on the same day as the fourth and final part of his Mailbag Marathon which started with [[Mailbag 36]]. He got halfway through before quitting in order to [[12 January 2010#Part 2|scream into his camera]] and (presumably) crash into slumber. He answered the rest on 15 January 2010.

Chris's habit of deleting e-mails without saving backups hit a fever pitch in this one.

It should also be noted that Chris has replied to Molly's question (would you have sex with a prostitute) with "no comment". In one of the previous Mailbags, Chris stated that he wanted his first time to be True and Honest. It's odd how he didn't have a similar answer to Molly's question. This suggests that Chris might just be desperate enough to lose his virginity to a whore.

Chris is also not as big a Family Guy fan as he claims to be, as in the episode asked about, it is hinted at that Meg's future is not changed and she will still get a sex change.

==Answered==
===Either God is a liar, or Chris is===
{{Email|From: wineman.the.actor@gmail.com

Hey Christian,

I've been running a youth fan club up in a Montanan [[Methodist]] Church, but I was thinking of disbanding it. The other day we had a kid sent to time out because she called stupid. When asked why she said that, she said that [[Chris and religion|god]] told Chris and [[Ivy]] that they were destined to be together, but then never met up in the [[comic]], and then she died (in a very gross manner). then she said that God spent so much energy on that and not on turning [[Silvana]] to normal, which would've turned her good and probably spare a few lives. She then asked why God did that?

She has a good point, Mr. Chandler. Why do you have God do such stupid things? And why did you have god bind the two together if Chris would later mary some woman named [[Lovely Weather]] and then cheat on her with Meg? And then, as a Christian man you shot a person and killed thousands by making a building crumble.

Tomorrow we are having a vote in the next few days on what to do: A. We stay with your comic B. We abandon the fan club C. We begin following [[Asperchu]].

Some of us think he's original, some of us believe that he is a [[parody]], but we all agree his comic is well written and focused more on a kind and Christian character.

Do you have anything to say before we vote (my recommendation is you ignore Asperchu and focus on why you seem to make a mockery of god)

Yours in God

Nick }}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, that me and Ivy thing, it was REAL for a time, but THEN SHE DID DIE FOR REAL. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? Draw MYSELF DYING and loving her in Heaven? A: Stay with me, I will do better, I promise. B: Do not abandon your Fan Club. C: Forget that Thing; HE IS a parody.}}

===In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Chris,

Thanks for all of your great answers! I talked to my wife about it and let her know what you said. She still wasn't entirely happy about my son going to an escort service, but she agreed that it was time to let go. We are planning on taking Mike Junior to an escort service tomorrow! We found one that gives their women constant checkups and testing. They've e-mailed us with all of the records and they'll give my son a lineup of beauties to choose from!

My son is understandably nervous about his first time and he wanted to know if you had any tips for him. He wanted to know if you had any pickup lines that he could use. Any advice that you could give him would be much appreciated! I know he reads this, so I know he'd be thrilled if you could answer this.

Afterwards my wife and I were planning on having a small celebration about my son having his first time. It would just be an informal party with only his best friend and one or two other people. Do you think it would be appropriate to have this at our local O'Charley's or should we spring for someplace nicer? Where do you think we should take him? Would it be ok to have a cake telling him congratulations for his first time?

Thanks again,

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I'm glad to hear some good news (for a change at the moment). My advice for your son is just to be himself; use a condom for just in case; let HER lead and follow. I offer my personal congratulations and wish y'all good luck and God's blessings. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris calls someone an arrogant idiot without irony===
{{Email|From: Jason Rothell <metalpencil@gmail.com>
Dear Chris:

Why do you think it's terrible when someone uses [[Sonichu]] in their webcomic? Why are they horrible people? Did you not use [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]]'s character before in the Sonichu comic? Also, isn't [[Simonla]]'s development based on someone else's creation and you still use her in your webcomic even though the original artist has begged you not to? I don't understand how this makes you any different... please explain this to me and I will remain a TRUE, LOYAL and HONEST fan!

Jasonla}}
{{EmailReply|It is terrible when they use my Sonichu and WRONGFULLY Portray him in ANYTHING [[homos|HOMOSEXUAL]]; IT IS JUST WRONG and AGAIN MISLABELING, and I will not stand for that. I Offered that Simona and Simonchu be Brother and Sister; Evan is still being an arrogant idiot towards me.}}

===Parents of a celebrity===
{{Email|From: Anthony Thiest <rationalparagon@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris, what's zappenin? I've been wondering, what do your parents think of Sonichu, the character and the comic? Do they read every issue you put out? I bet they brag to their friends about it, I know I would. What do they think about you achieving the internet fame that you have? Is it hard for them to live with a celebrity?

Keep zappin!

Anthony}}
{{EmailReply|My parents like the comic series. Not really. They do not have too many friends to brag to, plus they mostly stay at home. I am a celebrity, yet I am still a person. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===The internet never forgets===
{{Email|From: It's [[Wikipedia:Gendo Ikari|Gendo]] <shinji.you.suck@gmail.com>

At some point in your life, you were told to memorize a sequence of nine numbers. These numbers, much like the [[Sonichu Balls]], unlock great opportunity in life -- as long as you remember what they are, of course. Your TRUE and LOYAL fanbase knows you have some trouble memorizing numbers, though. Why not put it on the internet? The internet never forgets anything. This might help you out later...

Gendo}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that under great consideration.}}

===Weed===
[[Image:DutchGuy.jpg|thumb|Portrait of a typical weed smoker.]]
{{Email|From: Marice

Dear Chris,

First of all, me and my friends am a big fan of Sonichu (I am still waiting for the official merchandise).

But one thing bothers me. Why are anti drugs statements made in the comics?
Im a Dutch fan, and am quite offended by this. We in the Netherlands smoke weed
(and it is legal). Drugs help people relax (because most people have busy lives/careers).
Also, we treat homosexuals like equals. and prostitution is legal. Which are both things you
and Sonichu don't like.

The Dutch fans would love a rectification of the whole anti-drug-, homo and prostitution matter, with
the message that "it is ok for Dutch people to be homo, do drugs, or visiting a prostitute,
as it is within the scope of the Dutch law" on the cwcipedia.
This would really encourage the Dutch (and any other progressive European countries for that matter) to keep reading the comics.

Greetings!

A Dutch Sonichu fan.

Picture of myself included, as a fan. For me, for you.}}
{{EmailReply|The statements are made, because I, Personally, am AGAINST those Drugs AND Homosexuality.}}

===Sure, all you have to do is quit the internet forever===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>

Chris-chan. Chris-chan.

This is the voice of your conscience baby...I just wanna check one thing out with you. You don't mind?

Chris-chan, honey, what's got into ya?}}
{{EmailReply|Oh, I don't know. How about a bunch of PEOPLE asking me OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS and making OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS constantly, CONTINUING TO MISLABEL ME and MY SONICHU WRONGFULLY, Trolls putting up OFFENSIVE ADVERTISEMENT IMAGES on MY Cwcipedia WITHOUT MY CONSENT, CONTINUALLY BEING RIDICULED AND TORMENTED. Can't I just be left be to draw Peacefully and NOT be OFFENDED, PICKED ON, MISLABELED, or TORMENTED, PLEASE?!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}

===That's not what he's talking about===
{{Email|From: Sonny

Chris, I have a question.

You claim to respect women, but why is all of the (highly inappropriate) nudity in the comic geared towards men?

I know you don't want to turn women gay, y'know. So why haven't you put an equal portion of female-directed (highly inappropriate) nudity into the comic?

Not that it matters to me, because Alec doesn't bother with that disgusting shit in the first place (not turned on by hedgehog sex at all) and it greatly improve the quality of his comic as opposed to yours.}}
{{EmailReply|COME ON!!! BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?}}

===Because guys should never have fun with other guys===
[[Image:Joyboys.JPG|thumb|Not creepy at all.]]
{{Email|From: John Simpkins <joyofchristjoy@gmail.com>
Hello from a faithful reader!

I was reading the latest issue of Sonichu to my son, (a practice fast becoming tradition in my family!), and we both ended up quite taken by your idea of Christian Love Day. It's values of unbridled platonic friendship have truly touched our souls, and needless to say my family will join in the celebration! We're basing our festivities around your favorite things, so we plan on spending the day watching Family Guy, drinking refreshing Pepsi and eating some fine soggy biscuits.

I have also gone to the trouble of making a "friendship card", which will be passed around to my church group and my sons' preschool in order to spread the word - I just want to get your approval on the design first! I've attached it to this email - on the inside I plan on putting one of your many sage quotes along with a link to the cwcipedia.

Please let me know what you think!

God bless and have a nice day.}}
{{EmailReply|Celebrating the day is nice. Yet, and I mean no offense, but your card is NOT GOOD; To promote Platonic Relationships, FEMALES need to be in there PLAYING WITH EACH MALE. Please correct the error. PLUS, PLEASE REMOVE that Asperchu; HE IS NOT MINE! Plus, DO NOT MAKE ANY CHARACTER LOOK [[retarded|RETARDED]]. I am sorry.}}

===Whores whores whores===
{{Email|From: Molly Trasi <trasirose@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Would you ever choose to have sex with a prostitute? If so, did you realize that it is illegal and you could end up in jail for a long time? Would you be uncomfortable knowing that she didn't really care about you at all and was just doing it for the money?
Sincerely,

A worried fan}}
{{EmailReply|No comment.}}

===No, I'm pretty sure that's Sonichu===
{{Email|From: Mandy Higgins <mariokart360@rocketmail.com>

I'm a big fan of Sonichu and Asperchu. My favorite Asperchu comic is the one where he teams up with Sonichu. Will you be doing a Sonichu comic where Sonichu meets and teams up with Asperchu any time in the near future? That would be way past cool.}}
{{EmailReply|Asperchu IS NOT MINE, and I do not and will not ever associate with him whatsoever, because he is such a retardedly-drawn and homosexually-portrayed piece of crap.}}

===Improvisation===
{{Email|From: Jose Luis Castillo Del Real <olan_montalvo@yahoo.es>

Hi Chris:

I love your sonichu comics, i was wondering how can you come up with new ideas for them always? it must be hard to find the inspiration for a new plot. I also want to start a comic someday, but i find difficult to develop a story.

anyways, keep it up with the amazing job! i'll be cheering you :D}}
{{EmailReply|Most of the time, I have the ideas in advance, yet at other times, I come up with something on-the-moment.}}

===Rosechu the transwoman===
{{Email|From: vhenderson@teachers.org

To Mr. Christian Weston Chandler,

Hello, Mr. Chandler. I am an [[English]] teacher at a small junior high school in Middle Tennessee, and I sponsor the school's chapter of the Gay/Straight Alliance. Over the winter break, I had a student make mention of your comic in an email as a topic for future discussion once class resumes. Upon review of your comic, I have found it to be most worthy of discussion. Your portrayal of transsexuals and hermaphrodites is very interesting. The character [[Rosechu]], for instance, fascinates me. Despite the labeling of being a female Raichu, I have gleamed from my research that she was actually a male Raichu, based on the pointedness of her tail. Then s/he was struck by a rainbow, transforming him/her into a lovely feminine being. This metaphor delights me! It is a very sensitive and positive portrayal of the struggle that transpeople endure when trying to determine and claim their identity. It is wonderful that you have allowed this character to find love and acceptance with a man, which is so often difficult in the real world. I have students who know the pain of being born into the body, and I am sure this will hearten them greatly. In addition, the character [[Magi-chan]] warms my heart in his obvious attraction to the character Silvana, even though she possessed the "wrong" genitalia at the time. The fact that he could see past the outer shell and to the person within is very sweet.

I must say though, that I object to Rosechu's characterization. She is a very stereotypical portrait of a transwoman, obsessed with maintaining her femininity to the point of ridiculousness. It is a tired cliche and an insult to all woman that their lives revolve around solely around their family and their vanity. In the future, I would like to see Rosechu develop interests outside her home and maxing out her credit card and become a better role model for young people struggling with their identities.

With deepest respect,

Ms. Veronica Henderson}}
{{EmailReply|LISTEN!!! READ PAGE 3 OF BOOK #1, IT SAYS CLEAR AS DAY THAT THE RAICHU WAS A '''GIRL RAICHU'''. There is NOTHING Transgender WHATSOEVER ABOUT ROSECHU, you MISLABELING, MISUNDERSTOOD INDIVIDUAL. She acts the way she dose is because she has ALWAYS BEEN FEMALE!!! I am so DAMN sick and tired of these Misunderstandings and Mislabelings!!! THIS IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES AND SONICHU AND ROSECHU ARE STRAIGHT!!!!!!}}

===If he gave this response to every e-mail, he would actually be honest===
{{Email|From: coldpartjunior@yahoo.co.jp

Hi Chris I am a big fan from Japan & I was wondering if you could kill
anyone in the world who would it be and why? You can pick more than one
person.}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know.}}

===To be continued===
{{Email|From: Christie Savarin <virtualinsanitybangbangjam@yahoo.com>

Herro!

Dear Chris,

I read Sonichu for long long time,I have so many questions! so sorreh!
 1)If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the friend zone? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?
 2)Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?
 3)If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you?
 4)Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed every game you played.
 5)If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?
 6)Why do you like the name "Reginald" so much?
 7)Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?
 8)Why did you get rid of asexuality in [[Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single?
 9)In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your gay fans left you?
 10)Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so?
 11)If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?
 12)Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?
 13)You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?
 14)Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?
 15)Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?
 16)Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?
 17)Do you have any friends in the [[Autistic]] community?

tanks 4 answerin!}}
{{EmailReply|I'll come back to you the next time I am answering a mailbag.}}
''On 15 January 2010, Chris lazily answered:''
{{EmailReply|Your Questions will be copied/pasted and Answered in the [[Common Questions|FAQ Section]]; please look there for your answers. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris originally linked "FAQ Section" to his answered questions page. We have re purposed the link to go to our mirror of that page.''

===Dude, chill===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Chang Yu-sheng|Chang Yu]] <drchangyu@yahoo.ca>
Dear Chris,

In an earlier response to a fanmail , you mentioned you had a simularity to the character played by Dustin Hoffman in the film Rain Man. Would you kindly mind listing your facinating abilitys? My daughter is autistic and a very big fan of your work, she has a gift with law and agues extreemly well in her law class, but unfortunately her speech impediment prevents some from understanding her. She wanted to ask you herself, but she has trouble writing and could not without my help.

FONDest regards

Chang Yu}}
{{EmailReply|I can not say right now, because I am stressed from having to CORRECT AND REEDUCATE PEOPLE ON ROSECHU BEING ALWAYS FEMALE AND SONICHU BEING STRAIGHT AND ASPERCHU NOT BEING MY CHARACTER!!!}}

===In which Chris fakes sorrow===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Dear CWC,

Well, you probably remember my 5 year old son, right?

The one who screamed and cried because his favourite characters weren't in the comic?

The one who NEARLY JUMPED IN FRONT OF A BUS BECAUSE OF IT?

Little Jimmy's basically catatonic now, he has to go to a therapist everyday and i don't know what to do

Dearly seeking your advice,

Sincerely

Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry for your child's dilemna. I do not know either at the moment.}}

===In which Chris dives deep into denial===
{{Email|From: Uava <uava.lidelduhk@gmail.com>

So in a recent comic you met up with Meg from Family Guy and you clearly like her. However, according to Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, she gets a sex change later on and becomes a male named Ron. You could say that Stewie changing the future would have prevented but at the end she meets a guy named Ron and hints that she likes that name. Also, transsexuals can't be changed according to most psychologists and the only way to make them feel happy is to let them to transition to their true gender.

You are obviously not a homosexual, so I was wondering what you will do about this situation when it comes up. }}
{{EmailReply|That was ONE possible Future, and IT was CHANGED after Stewie stopped the tower from falling. Meg never gets a gender change EVER.}}

===CRASH INTO SLUMBER===
{{EmailReply|**I am so tired from all the stress. Will resume answering soon.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:20, 13 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Chris resumed answering letters in the very early hours of 16 [[January 2010]].

===Chris plans for the future===
{{Email|From: Faye Dexter <ecksdeexter@gmail.com>

You've said before that the job you most see yourself in is an "Office Job". I was wondering what you meant by that. There are many types of office jobs and they can be very different. For example: secretary and CEO positions can both be considered office jobs but they are very different. Your job would also depend on what the company does. For example: A web design company and a law firm are both office oriented companies but a law firm needs lawyers and paralegals(basically lawyer assistants) and a web design company would need programmers and graphic designers.

Just curious what your goals are.}}
{{EmailReply|Granted in what you have described, I am currently uncertain of my goals there at the moment. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason===
{{Email|From: Tran

Chris, please explain why you think Asperchu is crap.

Rules:

1. Do not use "It mocks me and my creation", as that is what a [[parody]] is supposed to do. I mean, Alec has said many times that he respects you, so it's really a benevolent(that means kindhearted, look it up) parody.

2. Do not just say "JUST LOOK AT IT" or "IT IS BAD". You need to tell us what you think of it and why. We are not mind-readers, we need details.}}
{{EmailReply|Because it is being '''WRONGFULLY shoved into my face constantly against my will,''' like if I was shackled to a chair in a Locked Windowless Room with some naked homosexual dude, and I had to endure him being in my face against my will.

That Is A NIGHTMARE to me, EVEN WORSE than the nightmare I had where I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Shemales and man-tits===
{{Email|From: Desiree Flood <mammy2shoes@gmail.com>

Hey Chris, Laura here!

I've been reading a lot of your comic <s>as well as the AWESOME spinoff, Asperchu. I don't know why people can't just read and LOVE both.</s> Anyway, I have two questions.

1. It looks like you got "trolled" in your comic by Silvana! Did you have sex with her?! If so how did that even work? Did you put your penis in her butt? I know it LOOKED like meg, but she still had a penis!!! Would you ever have sex with a shemale?

2. You've also made mention of your breasts in your last video! I myself have had several kids and have found breast feeding to be an enlightening and emotional experience. When you have kids do you plan on breast feeding your kids?

Stay cool!

Laura}}
''Chris added the strikeouts because that's just what Chris does.''
{{EmailReply|Firstly, '''Asperchu is NOT MINE, it belongs ONLY to Alec Benson Leary, I AM NOT ASSOCIATED WITH EITHER HE OR HIS CHARACTER WHATSOEVER.''' You are '''SEVERELY WRONG''' to even call HIS comics a "Spin-off" from MINE.

Second, to answer your questions. 1) No, I did not have sex with Silvana; ONLY MAKING OUT. When Silvana takes the form of an ALL-Female individual, its dick is GONE. 2) I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite. 3) Maybe my WIFE will breast-feed, but I was referring to MY Man-Boobs, of which Alec was WRONGFULLY EXAGGERATING on HIS D***ED Asperchu character.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:16, 15 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===It's probably more like 12===
{{Email|From: Derp
Hi Chris, let me first say I'm a huge fan of your comics and have been reading them for 3 years now.

I was wondering this: do you ever have any homosexual feelings toward your [[father]]? Because I think it would be a good addition to your comic. Maybe a four-way between you, your dad, Sonichu and Asperchu? I think that would be yum.

Oh, and how many [[Sonee]] have you fucked? I say 6, my friend says 9.}}
{{EmailReply|NO, NO, NO!!! I AM STRAIGHT!!! QUIT MAKING OFFENSIVE COMMENTS!}}

==Gone Forever==
===Mass murdering does not strike me as terribly kind===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo|puyopuyo]][[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo Tsu|tsu]]@thegame.com
Hello Chris,

I am an ex-fan by the name of Arle Nadja. I became an ex-fan because recently, you showed signs of [[terrorism]] in your comic. When the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent-garbage]] building fell, how many people died Chris? More than 100 people died Chris, and by your hands. Just because they [[troll]]ed you it makes it ok to kill them? Well, bringing down a building for making fun of you doesn't make it less of a terrorism act. I remember about 15 years ago, I decided to bring down a building. It had 6 stories and at least 34 people died in the explosion and most, if not all, by my own bare hands. What I am trying to say is that your comic supports terrorism and it reminds me too much of my horrible past, and I cannot stand to see such a homophobic, racist, and unpatriotic character such as you still alive. P.S. I am a woman, and I can say without a doubt, you do NOT support my rights, and you're a freak for wanting to secretly tape you and you "future" girlfriend. It's not only wrong, it's illegal if she says no. I think I speak for all women when I say no girl will sleep with you.

From your "EX"-Fan,

Arle Nadja}}

===Kissing cousins===
{{Email|From: fagassfighter@gmail.com

Here's a website to wipe away your idiotic misconceptions on cousin marriage. Also, it's not forbidden in the Bible:

[http://tinyurl.com/y8h7hpr]

Have a nice day.}}

===Chris should just end it already===
{{Email|From: ninjakumquat@gmail.com

Hi Chris! Have you ever considered committing suicide? Yes, I am aware the Bible states that suicide is an unforgivable sin, but seeing as you are Christian Weston Chandler, I think God might let that one slide. ;)

Thanks for reading this humble missive, and remember not to feed [[Barb]] after midnight!

- Cadpig, Asperchu's #1 Fan }}

===See, it's funny because it's true!===
{{Email|From: jamie tyler <jamie.tyler112@gmail.com>

You're such a fucking dumbass, it is unbelievable. After over 30 mailbags, you still don't realize that. You're a fag, ugly, stupid, smelly piece of shit. You rip off everything you like, you make references to things that don't make sense ([[Captain's Log|Captains Log]]? [[Monthy Python]]?), you claim to be a Christian yet don't follow the Bible (you're for pre-martial sex but against cousin marriage? It's the reverse in the Bible lol) you are racist, sexist, egotistical, and overall, just one big pile of shit.}}

===Alec-Chan makes everything better===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Hello Christian,

You haven't responded to my previous letters, such as when I Asked you how ASPERCHU can be a parody of the Sonichu when ASPERCHU has the Aspergers, which is NOT linked to the autism that Sonichu has. But my disappointment in you for not Answering the Challenge as a true MAN would do is not why I write today. I write not with a sword, but with an Olive Branch, as I only wanted to show you the latest page of Issue #1 (My fifth issue!), in which I bring in the Chaotic Combo. It seems you have not featured the Combo much of late in your Sonichu comic, so I have taken the Combo to give them the limelight they so deserve.

Also, as Evan Christopher George asked you repeatedly to kill his character Simonlachu (as it is his character, only EVAN holds the copyright to use it), in despondent grief Evan came to me and asked for my help. I agreed to help him, and so I will be taking Simonlachu (who I have changed back into the original Simonchu, as Evan requested) to be in my ASPERCHU comic from here on out, to do with as Evan requests me to do. All further appearances of the Simonchu in your comic will thenceforth be either dreams, or hallucinations, or just NOT canon, just to let you know - I didn't want you to accidentally write Simonchu into your pages again thinking he was really there, which he will NOT be.

Take care,

Alec Benson Leary}}
''It should be noted that Chris deleted this e-mail the same night he [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|tried to communicate to Alec through his blog]]. It would seem that he didn't really want to talk after all.''

===Medical study===
{{Email|From: vidkun quisling <iheartthepope@hotmail.com>

Hey Christian!

It's great that you're answering fan mail now! I was wondering since you're going almost completely bald if you've ever considered drawing a bald Sonichu without any hair? What color would the skin underneath be?

I have also wondered if [[Sonichus]] can be born with any genetic diseases or abnormalities like Autism/[[Asperger's]], Progeria, Muscular Dystrophy, or Manic Depression. Do Sonichus get the same diseases as humans? Like the flu or the AIDS? Are people with the AIDS even allowed in [[CWCville]]?

Yours in Christ,

[[Wikipedia:Vidkun_Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]]}}

===On Chris's total lack of sorrow.===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Quincy Magoo|Magoo]]

Chris, here is how a normal apology goes:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." This is without prompting.

You, on the other hand, need to be prompted into apologizing for insulting someone, and even then, we get this:

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, but I WAS PROVOKED! IT'S NOT MY FAULT, THEY MADE ME DO IT BLAH BLAH BLAH JACK THADDEUS BLAH CLYDE CASH BLAH KILL YOURSELVES peace"

Instead of accepting the blame, you try to shift it the moment you think you'll have to hold it.

Apoligies have no "buts", Chris.

Heck, we're going to quit even faster now.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 38

2011-08-09T18:17:45Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 38''' was uploaded to the CWCipedia on 12 [[January 2010]] and answered on the same day.

This Mailbag was the third of [[Chris]]'s marathon run of Mailbag answering that concludes with [[Mailbag 39]]. The amount of rage and censorship it produced is equal parts horrifying and hilarious, with seven letters deleted and one letter horribly struck out and edited and at least five letters with him erupting with rage.

==Awaiting Answers==
===In which Chris fails to answer the question===
{{Email|From: Richard Allonger <longhardroadtonowhere@mail.com>

If [[Asperchu]] is a complete ripoff of [[Sonichu]], which you claim it is, then does that mean that Sonichu has [[homo]]erotic undertones? Because you said Asperchu was gay and a parody, and if it's a parody, then it parodies the gay parts of Sonichu. If they exist, which they probably do.

Richard Allonger}}
{{EmailReply|SONICHU IS STRAIGHT!!!}}

===The gayest dog ever===
[[Image:Gaydog.JPG|thumb|That's the gayest dog I've ever seen]]
{{Email|From: Jamyl Sarum <loachcoach@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

I think my [[Patti Chandler|dog]], Boo, is gay. He hates women and likes to lick the faces of guys. Do you think dogs can be gay? If you think so, how can I make my dog straight? This is what he looks like. Does he look gay? Here's a pic of him.}}
{{EmailReply|At this point, just let your dog be.}}

===Raise the Jolly Roger===
{{Email|From: Kara Wiley <mistykara1982@gmail.com>

Chris,
I had a short question from a fan! Is Collassall Chris supposed to be... ummm... some sort of pirate? He has a beard, and a torn shirt, and earrings, and this kind of man is one that some jerks used to call a "butt pirate" when I was in high school. Is Collassal Chris a butt pirate?

Thanks <3 Kara}}
{{EmailReply|NO, he is NOT a pirate. IT is a combination between my Human and Sonichu Selves.}}

===In which Chris doesn't consider anything at all===
{{Email|From: Winston Quentin Shambler <WinstonQShambler@email.org>

Dear Chris,

I am not Appreciative on how You put My Email in your [[Autism]] Mailbag without Answering it. But I Digress. I'll forgive you if you put Mario Potter into the next Sonichu Comic so I can be More Famous. Just remember to give Credit to the REAL and GENUINE creator of Mario Potter. If you don't, I will use my [[Asperger]] Powers to Place a [[Curse]] on You. This Curse will stop you from finding a [[Sweetheart]] for the Rest of Your Life and make you a Lonely Frustrated Autistic [[Virgin]] Forever.

Winston Quentin Shambler}}
{{EmailReply|I'll consider it.}}

===And when you do 'em people think that you're cool===
{{Email|From: Jeff Frankfort <frankfort.jeff@aol.com>

Is Colossal [[Chris Chan]] supposed to be a heroin addict? Because he has the scratchy beard of a heroin addict and has dyed his hair blue with Kool-Aid like a homeless gutter punk, and likes to wear a sleeveless denim vest without a shirt on underneath like Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx, who did a lot of heroin. Does "Colossal" refer to the size of his heroin addiction?

- Jeff}}
{{EmailReply|NO! IT is a combination between my Human and Sonichu Selves.}}

===The censor's pen===
{{Email|From: John Macgillian <johnmacgillian@yahoo.ca>

Hello Christian Chandler

My name is John Macgillian and first off I would like to thank you for your dedicated hard work on the comics. I thought I should take the time to ask you some important questions. Do people with autism attract homosexuals? A new study has recently been done in Canada at Guelp University, but the evidence is controversial. Also now that you and Alec B. Leary <s>have teamed up and expanded Sonichu into a whole new universe</s> '''''have NEVER TEAMED UP and Alec is making a Mockery out of your comic and characters''','' Whats next? I would love to invest alot of money on ''Sonichu'' merchandise for my chain of stores across Canada, could you possibly do that for me? I am a HUGE FAN!!!!!!! I must say I love the work you <s>and Alec have been doing with Asperchu, the character roles that are laid out in the Asperchu comics are so dynamic and unique</s> ''have done in your own comics ONLY on the [[Cwcipedia]] and NOT on any other website.''

Anyways God Bless You

Your Friend John

Ciao}}
''Chris [[Chris and Censorship|added the strikeouts and all italicized words]], and replaced one instance of "Asperchu" with "Sonichu". He did all this on the same night he [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|bitched at Alec]] for parodying it on his own website.''
{{EmailReply|To answer your first question, NO! HE AND I ARE NOT A TEAM; HE is only ticking me off! Read My Edits to your letter.}}

===Chris is an expert matchmaker===
{{Email|From: Brandon Louthan <brandonl1701@yahoo.com>
Me again, just wondering, are you aware that Giovanni has a son in canon named Silver, not to be confused with Silver the Hedgehog of course, so what was the need for [[Naitsirhc]], and speaking of Naitsirhc, why did you pair him up with Kel? Especially considering that a Rocket's job is to usually steal a trainer's [[Pokemon]].

Also, there are other evil teams other then Team Rocket, such as Teams Aqua, Magma and Galactic, will they ever make appearances?

Also, why no Tails? Tails is Sonic's best friend, so why hasn't he made appearneces?}}
{{EmailReply|I did not know that, and Naitsirhc is Adopted. Opposites Attract, and Kel has made him a better man over time. The other teams may make an appearance. I did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic.}}

===I NEED MY WOMAN===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Freddie Mercury|Farrokh Bulsara]] <fm9546@yahoo.com>
Chris, it seems like everyone in the Sonichu fandom is leaving and going and reading Asperchu. I'm not a big fan of Asperchu myself but I can see why people are leaving.

Sonichu is getting too tangled, complicated and negative. I mean, there's people dying everywhere in Sonichu now! In the old days villains got a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha or beaten up but they weren't killed.

There are way too many characters, it seems like you added so many that you frequently forget they even exist and there are a lot of plot lines you brought up but haven't reso lved. I mean, when are you going to get [[Crystal]] out of the Dark Mirror Hole? Are you just going to leave your own twin sister in there and forget about her? That's awful.

Also, Rosechu and Sonichu have kids now and are married. Most series jump the shark when this happens, Sonichu is no exception. There's also too much porn. No one wants to see porn of hedgehogs in a children's comic, even if you like porn, hedgehog sex is still really gross.

The only way I can see you fixing the franchise now is to throw out everything and start fresh. Go back to the birth of Sonichu and go from there. You don't have to worry about characters you no longer care about or plots you don't care to resolve. You can bring back all the good stuff about Sonichu and get rid of the bad. Most successful franchises have done this. James Bond, Batman, Superman, [[Transformers]], and many others too.

Or you could do nothing and have all your fans leave while you sit there alone making comics about Rosechu putting in tampons.}}
{{EmailReply|I am working on the plots at my own pace; I HAVE A LIFE OF MY OWN, and it is NOT YET COMPLETE; [[Love Quest|I NEED MY WOMAN]].}}

==Gone Forever==
===The depths of Chris's hypocrisy===
{{Email|From: Toby Klein <tk4tw@gmail.com>

Chris. Stop telling people to kill themselves every fucking video. What is it about you? It's like you're on a mission to drive away every last person that wants to defend you. PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE WHO ENCOURAGE SUICIDE AND DEATH TOWARDS EVERYBODY THAT ANNOYS THEM. THAT IS NOT HOW BEING A HUMAN BEING WORKS.

Somebody pays for a gay ad on your website (which was GIVEN to you, by the way), and your response is they should die. Yeah, that's nice and balanced, Chris. Yet you're "caring". Bull fucking shit, dude. Honestly, as somebody who once did and no longer does, let me tell ya.... you're making it REAL hard for anybody to like you. I know you won't listen, you never do, but seriously.

Sincerely,
"Mr. Insanity" Toby Klein}}

===Blasphemy's not cool===
{{Email|From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins <thorgnzorrg@hotmail.com>

Allow me to quoute you: "The Only Mistake of God were THE PEOPLE who contributed to the Original E.D. Page"

Chris, do you realize that in the Christian religion, your god is the embodiment of perfection and can't make mistakes? The [[ED]] page was a joke, poking fun at your hilariously pathetic life. What you said; however, was an example of your own ignorance of the very religion you like to act as though you know so much about. You have a very warped view of Christianity, Chris. Y'alls is racist and homophobic too.}}

===Expect the party van===
{{Email|From: Mihmed Mahmud <mihmedmahmud@gmail.com>

Hi Chriss!

I just wanted to say that showing pornographic material in comic targeted to children is a crime. I have informed FBI on your wrong doings. Expect their contact soon.}}

===Justifiable rage===
{{Email|From: Josh connor <joshthebanditking@gmail.com>

Chris I am shocked and appalled at your recent strips about taking down the "[[4-cent_garbage|4_cent_garbage]]" building. You decided that people making fun of you and "mislabeling you" deserved to have a building crash down around them. MY FATHER DIED IN A BUILDING COLLAPSE! How dare you make light of something so serious and so life affecting as that, Those people might have had families who will never whole again because you decided to overreact to what people called you names. I am sorry but you are a FAT, STUPID, HOMOPHOBIC, RASICT, NARCISSISTIC, NAIVE, EVIL, VILE, DISHONEST, AND DESPICABLE PERSON AND THE WORLD WILL BE A MUCH BETTER PLACE WHEN YOU DROP DEAD AND ROT IN HELL< WHICH I HOPE WILL BE SOON. Also in regards to you challenge to anyone who is against you, I will come down to Virgina anytime you want so I can play a real life version of "Kick the autistic" with your fat ass.}}

===Chris still can't handle the truth===
{{Email|From: Riff Riff <vonriff2@yahoo.co.uk>

Hello, Chris. I've been watching your [[Youtube]] videos for a while now (never bothered with your comic; it's incredibly boring and equally disgusting in places), and I must ask; why are you such a spiteful person? You're always wishing death on people for no actual reason, trying to justify your stupid shit-slinging with petty excuses. Why do you act like this? It only drives people away, and adds to the ranks of the trolls.

Recently you've begun hating on a perfectly good webcomic (Asperchu) simply because it's a parody. You yourself have declared Sonichu a parody time and again when people say it's a ripoff, yet when someone actually parodies Sonichu, you blow your top and start screaming [[death threats]] at the creator. Why are you so immature and spiteful? Did someone molest you as a child?

You recently tried to justify your hatred by saying "I pray to God for forgiveness". You can't keep doing that; praying to God for forgiveness means that you are legitimately sorry for your sins and that you promise to never repeat them, yet here you are, shouting death threats at people once again. You spit in the face of your own God; I'm an atheist and I know that's fucking wrong. You're going straight to hell for lying to God.

- Von Riffenstein

P.S. Responding to people with "NO U" responses like "I say you have YOUR OWN ISSUES to make ammends to. Go See a Psychiatrist" is just childish and stupid. Stop avoiding your problems by pinning them on others, only unlikable idiots destined to die alone do that sort of thing.}}

===Impervious in the face of logic===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, I don't see the point of your recent video.

If Alec has fans of his comic, then they aren't going to be reading Sonichu or watching your videos or even visiting this site.

So explain how you thought ordering his fans to leave him for no reason would work?}}

===On Christian's Christianity===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>

Chris, are you a christian or aren't you? You do not obey your father's wishes for you to take down the house tours, you support free love, prostitution, rape, underage sex, yet still claim yourself to be godly. By the Bible's terms, this makes you an Antichrist. Who is the Liar, Chris? It's you. So fuck you. I'm moving on to Asperchu, because he is an upstanding citizen.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 36

2011-08-09T18:16:55Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 36''' was uploaded by [[Cwcipedia]]'s Sysop on 9 [[January 2010]] and answered 12 January 2010.

The case of Mailbags 36 though 39 is an odd one. [[Chris]] was already in a bad mood when he started answering letters, largely due to the [[Asperchu]] ads covering the CWCipedia. As he tried to rush through the 4 mailbags marathon style, what he created was less of a series of answers, and more of a real-time picture of Chris having an emotional breakdown. Letters were deleted with increasing frequency, answers became shorter, ruder, and relied more on ALL CAPS until he finally quit on [[Mailbag 39]] to vent his frustrations [[12 January 2010|by screaming like a child.]]

Part one of this four-part epic touched on a number of subjects. Notable among them was Chris excusing his (imaginary) infidelity by treating advances from a girl as though they are a brute force of nature, unstoppable and beyond comprehension. He also defended some of his more tasteless drawings, defended his joblessness (going so far as to claim that a [[Charlottesville, VA|college town]] with a large amount of development and construction has no openings), failed to respond to a letter about his inability to write, and deleted a very sincere appeal from a former True and Honest fan.

==Answered==
===And the tugboat chugs on===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Kevin_Mitnick|Kevin Mitnick]]
Chris,

If a "degree is a degree" to you why don't you try and use your [[CADD]] degree to get a job as an engineer or an architect? Those guys make way more than $800 a month.

- Kevin}}
{{EmailReply|No one is hiring around here, and I am not willing to travel out of state for a while.}}

===We all die a little more every day===
[[Image:Ageprogressionlol.jpg|thumb|Over the hill.]]
{{Email|From: Caleb Feldman <feldman.c@mail.com>

Hi Chris!

Like you, I'm also an artist, except I'm employed as a police sketch artist. I'm not a cop, but I hang out with a bunch of them.

Anyway, part of my job is doing age progession, where we run somebody's photo through a computer simulation that sees what they'll look like in the future. It's pretty accurate, and we've used it to find a lot of missing children and such.

Out of curiousity I ran your photo through the computer and this is what you'll look like at 40, or about 12 years from now.

- Caleb}}
{{EmailReply|NOBODY CARES about that NOW. Although your time will not go unappreciated.}}

===You know Chris, it is possible for a guy to say no===
{{Email|From: Father [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ronald Jeremy]] <RJeremy4God@gmail.com>

Christian,
How can you call yourself a follower of [[Jesus]] when you asked [[Lovely Weather]] out on page 12 of your recent comic (your future wife), then you go and make out with [[Megan]] Griffin on page 40? That is definitely not behavior Jesus would approve of.

Sincerely,

Father Ronald Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|MEGAN made out with ME; SHE made the OFFER, and SHE touched me FIRST. She was Unstoppable there.}}

===On storytelling===
{{Email|From: Keith Keithson <allisfine1@gmail.com>
Don't put spoilers in the damn [[comic]]. Nobody read the last thirty or so pages because you explained what was going to happen and now nobody is going to read the next few pages because you dropped another goddamn spoiler.

People like suspense and supprises. They don't like to see the story start with "Okay, this is what is going to happen" and then watch the thing happen. That makes people bored.

Heck, since you dropped the entire plot of [[Sonichu 11]], I'm supprised that the few that remain in the [[fanbase]] are still here.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, Excuse Me.}}

===That show was just depressing===
{{Email|From: Christopher Toonen <blaze.128@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris, did you ever watch Moral Orel on Adult Swim? It's one of my favorite shows. If yes, what do you think of it?}}
{{EmailReply|I have watched the show, and it is okay.}}

===Tampons are definitely family-friendly===
{{Email|From: Sam Donovan <hersuri@gmail.com>
Chris, on Page 35 of [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu Issue 10]], you have no qualms about censoring the word "damn". But a page later, you show [[Rosechu]] putting in a tampon. Can you explain this descrepency? I'm certain parents would be worried more about such adult content rather than the word "damn". I don't this content is suitable for kids!}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, DRAWING someone sitting on a TOILET is Non-Offensive, and we are NOT seeing her putting in a Tampon; SHE ONLY STATES THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING WHEN SHE WAS BEING CAUGHT ON FILM.}}

===Lovely Weather, on the other hand, is not a joke===
{{Email|From: apittanceoftime@gmail.com

Christopher, remember when you told that man who asked how you felt about "2D love" (I find the whole concept disturbing, honestly) that it was "false" and "lonely"?

Well, how do you explain what you're doing with Meg Griffin in the comics? It seems a bit hypocritical, honestly.

-T. Degroot.}}
{{EmailReply|It was a JOKE; look at the PAGE that followed.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===If Chris cares so little, why does he keep making videos about it?===
{{Email|From: Krayt Soto <kraytsoto@gmail.com>
Hello Christian,

I recently came across your Sonichu comic here on the cwcipedia and noticed it was very similar to another webcomic I love to read, Asperchu (the electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon). Did you get permission from Alec Benson Leary to use the minor character sonichu from his webcomic? You should probably acknowledge your comic as a [[parody]] of his somewhere on your website even if you didn't. Personally I don't find it very funny to take someone else's work and write/draw it like an 8 year old but to each their own I suppose.

Yours in christ,

Krayt Soto }}
{{EmailReply|Read MY Terms of use Section and MY Copyright Registration; SONICHU and Rosechu have been Around since March, 2000; Asperchu is HIS CRAPPY FANFIC OF WHICH I COULD NOT CARE ANY LESS ABOUT.}}

==Gone Forever==
===History is unkind===
{{Email|From: Philip Dorchester <theauthority@email.org>

Dear Chris

I noticed on your written [[Captain's Log]] you said you wanted to make your birthday a national holiday like a second Valentine's Day. But are you aware of the other things that happened on that day, such as the Nazi party being formed?

Also, I noticed in another email you talked about sharing the wealth. Are you aware that's what the communists believe?

Yours truly,

Phil Dorchester}}

===Detective work===
{{Email|From: that guy <whyisthatguy@hotmail.com>

Hello,

Now you say that you have a sonichu called [[magi-chan]] scanning for [[gay]] people fucking all over your "city" and then reports this to the [[police]]...

First off, watch gay people fuck is something only a gay guy (or straight girl) wants to watch, Making magichan either gay or bi at the least.

Second, having the police capture and arrest innocent bystanders for what they do in their own homes is not only a waste of time, money, and resources but keeps them from being able to help when the real crimes occur.

You probably don't care though, so long as they get "DA HOMOS".}}

===Remember, Chris is TRUE and HONEST===
{{Email|From: Hank Thomas <hankyouverymuch30@yahoo.com>

I was reading the mailbag and was appalled by something you wrote. You stated you not only lied to your [[father]], but also directly disobeyed his wishes by not taking down the videos of HIS [[house]] (not your house; he's the one who pays the bills, you're just the lazy bum he permits to live under his roof out of pity for your mental retardation). You're a bad son and, worse, a bad Christian. You will go to Hell for breaking the Fifth Commandment if you don't atone for your sins (this means fulfilling your father's wishes and taking the videos down, not just emptily apologizing through prayer). Have a nice day.}}

===It was time for that 10 years ago===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>

Chris, maybe it's time you've actually looked at Asperchu from a light other than THIS COMIC SUCKS BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE SAWN-NEE-CHOO. Maybe it's time to grow up, you fucking dimwit.}}

===In which Chris deletes a heartfelt speech===
{{Email|From: Nick Manchester <questil@live.com>

Christian, I do not know what is going on with you! Why are you being so mean to Alec-chan?!? What kind of MONSTER inspires someone to greatness and then shouts them down because of their own inflated EGO. How would YOU feel if SEGA shouted YOU down for being inspired by [[sonic]] the hedgehog? HUH?

I can tell YOU that you would feel pretty down in the dumps, Christian. Do me a favor and look down at yourself for a moment... just go ahead...

What do you see?

It's him, isn't it? It's Sonichu looking back up at you. Would HE call Alec-chan those awful names? Would he be jealous of someone else's success and ability to get laid? From what I've grown to know of Sonichu I don't think he would.

I stuck with you through thick and thin! When EVERYONE thought you were [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], I didn't believe them! When everyone called you a HOMO, I said "oh nay nay, that man is straight!", when everyone said [[Julie]] was a troll I refused to believe it! I SUPPORTED you with uplifting messages on [[youtube]] (which you are too fucking lazy to use anymore). I SUPPORTED you with friendly emails about Sonichu! And what do you do?

YOU KICK ME IN THE BALLS AGAIN!

So... with a heavy heart I regret to inform you that I can no longer be a loyal Sonichu fan. I'm moving on to the exciting adventures that Asperchu has with his friends Jivin and Max. I will not forget about you, Chris, as I will continue to pleasure myself to images of your supple yet perky breasts bouncing up and down as you prance so gracefully in flying elephants. I'm only human, after all.

Goodbye Christian, have a nice life and don't wait up,

Nicholas D. Manchester}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 35

2011-08-09T18:16:17Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 35''' was uploaded by the [[CWCipedia]]'s Sysop on 8 [[January 2009]]. [[Chris]] answered them on the same day.

Chris removed three letters without saving them. Two were about [[Asperchu]], and more importantly, how much ''better'' it is than [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]. The final one was a response to the [[Mailbag 34#Wild weekend|wild weekend]] letter from the prior mailbag, calling Chris out on how gay he acts. It remains unclear if he's permanently deleting these letters out of rage, or out of fear that his fans might see them.

Two of Chris's answers stand out as outright disturbing, one in which he openly advises a man to buy his son a prostitute, and one in which he ''almost'' disagrees with Nazi concentration camps. Other notable responses include Chris raging against tattoos, advising we go through nine seasons of [[South Park]] in order to fully appreciate a joke he stole, and his continual refusal to just fucking kill [[Simonla]] already.

==Answered==
===I think he wanted a specific verse===
{{Email|From: captaintuggers@gmail.com

Dear Chris:

You say that you are against cousin marriage because it is "unholy." Where in the Bible does it say that God forbids marriage between cousins?}}
{{EmailReply|Oh, I don't know... How about the part where it says DO NOT HAVE RELATIONS WITH YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER OR BROTHER OR SISTER. It is the SAME THING.}}

===In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris!

Thanks for answering my question in such a quick and mature manner! I suppose I should have told you the ages of my children. I have three kids, two of which are boys and one of which is a girl. Mike Junior is the eldest at 16 years, with my daughter Katherine being the middle child at 15. My youngest (Jeremy) is 8. Mike Jr reads it seperately from the rest of us.

My oldest son has some trouble with the ladies, but he REALLY wants to have sex. He's of legal age in our state. I was thinking of taking him to an escort service and letting him have his first time with one of them. One of my coworkers suggested doing this to help my son gain some self confidence with the ladies, as his father did this for him when he was that age and my coworker has tons of girlfriends. Don't worry, I wouldn't let him go off with any lady that looked diseased or ugly!

I briefly mentioned this to my son during a bonding session while we were watching some porn. (At your suggestion I stopped showing it to the two youngest children.) He really seemed to like the idea, although his mother is adverse to it. I don't want to make my [[heartsweet]] angry, so I figured that I'd ask you.

Is it ok for me to buy my son sex? He's at the age of consent where we live and he's been asking me lately if I was actually serious about it. He thinks that it would be a great way to get his hormones in check as well as practice speaking to women.

Thanks for the advice!!

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|I would agree to this step for your son. It would definitely be a self-confidence booster. I highly recommend making sure the woman was tested and checked to be S.T.D.-Free beforehand. And maybe do this once or twice (twice if the first time goes off prematurely and awry). To your wife, I say this. Madam, I understand how you feel about this as a considerate and caring mother, but you have to open your mind and heart; your children have to grow up sometime, and the first sexual intercourse is a Big Step in that. Have faith in your son practicing it safely and responsibly. And another expression comes to mind, and I hope it does not offend you, madam. [[Barbara|"Cut the Umbilical Cord."]] --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:58, 9 January 2010 (CET)}}

===When they talk about sharing needles that's not what they mean===
{{Email|From: Mark Landry <modat5@yahoo.com>

Hey Chris,

What's the deal with not getting a tattoo? Are you afraid that it'll hurt? Because I can tell you for a fact it doesn't. I've got tattoos all up my arms and a huge piece on my back and they never hurt me when I got them. Also, the amount of pussy I've gotten because of them is mind blowing! Chicks really dig tattoos man, but don't be wearing that piece of shit fake tattoo you got from [[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica, that'll turn them off.}}
{{EmailReply|It's not the pain that bothers me, but how about the DIRTY NEEDLES; they are likely NOT to have been cleansed between uses, and DISEASES can be transferred. THINK ABOUT IT!}}

===No comment===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Christian,

I am deeply hurt.

You called me self-gloated, self-boasting, and self-egotistical. I can imagine no more hurtful words than these.

If I was any of those things, don't you think I would have put myself in my comics? Because that is what an self-egotistical person would do, right? They say you never write yourself into your own work, as it is disastrous for writing. I followed that rule and kept it all about ASPERCHU, not myself.

Well, not entirely ASPERCHU. I did include Sonichu in my comic. And YOU. but not MYSELF. I included YOU because I wanted your approval, that's all.

I hope you feel good about causing so much pain.

Alec Benson Leary}}
''Chris added a reply template to this letter, but never typed a response.''

===No comment II: Electric Boogaloo===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

One more thing, Mr. Weston Chandler: Can you tell me how exactly my ASPERCHU is a [[Parody]] of your Sonichu, when ASPERCHU has the Aspergers, which you say is NOT RELATED to the Autism? I asked you this in my last letter, but you did not read it apparently. Consider the Question, as I believe it will set you STRAIGHT.

Alec Benson Leary}}
''Chris left this letter in Mailbag 35, but made no effort to answer it at all.''

===In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from===
{{Email|From: Ben Hat Dick <ben3156@live.com>

Dear Chris,

As I was reading [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu issue 10]], I noticed on page 32 that The Devil was quoted in saying "Where the hell would I go, Detroit?"

Being from Detroit, this slightly offended me. Why did you say Detroit Chris? I see this as a rude remark on the great city that birthed Techno Music. (Not to mention amazing artists like Madonna, The White Stripes, The Von Blondies and Andrew WK)}}
{{EmailReply|I was quoting an episode of '''South Park'''; it was the one right after Eric started preaching the word of [[God and Jesus]] and opened his own church to save the children. While in Hell, Satan was going into the damned relationship with this dude, after he ended it with Saddam. Saddam said the line, after he returned after Satan killed him, "Well where was I going to go, Detroit?" Look it up on [[YouTube]] or within the first 9 Seasons available for Instant Streaming to your Computer, [[PS3|Playstation 3]], [[HEXBox]] or compatible cable box from '''Netflix'''. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:58, 9 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris isn't racist, he just hates black people===
{{Email|From: Some One <someone_309@hotmail.com>
Hey Chris, you said that although you feel comfortable around other races, you still refuse to date a [[Niggos|black woman]].

Are you willing to date a Asian, Native or Hispanic woman?

Also, can you please explain, in detail, why you refuse to date a Black women? I do not think that race would matter in holding a happy relationship.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I would date Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries. Second, call me [[Chris and race|Old Fashioned]], but I never saw a black woman being my wife in any of my dreams of me and my white baby daughter.}}

===Male pattern lying===
{{Email|From: Stephanie Liberman <theinitialsoreness@yahoo.com>

My dad is going [[hair|bald]] like you. Do you think he should get a toupee or just wear hats from now on? }}
{{EmailReply|I am not going bald.}}

===It's entirely possible Chris actually believes what he's saying here===
{{Email|From: Harry Huu <harry.r.huu@gmail.com>

A GamePlace employee told me why you were banned from the store. He said it was because you harrassed kids(yelling at them and acting childish eve thought you are an adult) and Snyder used an excuse to get you out of the store.

So why were you really kicked out of [[Wendy's]]. did you harass kids?

[[Yawning Squirtle]] rocks! Bill the scientist is meh.}}
{{EmailReply|I have never harassed any children.}}

===DO IT FAGGOT===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

Chris, just kill [[Simonla]] already for the love of god.

-Evan

simonchucomics.deviantart.com}}
{{EmailReply|NO.}}

===Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots===
{{Email|From: habanerochillidog@gmail.com

Chris,

You said that [[Magi-chan]] monitors people to make sure they don't do anything homosexual. Are you seriously saying that Magi-chan psychically watches everyone in [[CWCville|CWCVille]] have sex, to make sure it's not homo, or otherwise deviant? That's nothing but a disgusting invasion of privacy. Why anyone would choose to live in a city where a purple hedgehog watches you have sex with your significant other every night is utterly beyond my comprehension. Can you enlighten me as to why anyone lives in CWCVille?}}
{{EmailReply|It is a clean, secure, orderly and safe city.}}

===If Chris hates Asperchu so much, why is he advertising for him?===
{{Email|From: ilastsawmymarbles18723@gmail.com

Hello! I really love your comic, I've been following it almos ever since you put it up on the Internet. I was so happy to see that Sonichu and Asperchu are friends, maybe they can team up and fight evil together in your comic too?

Also this is just so cute! http://tinyurl.com/y9hu5za

Did you contribute your artistic skill to that wiki? It looks really nice! It could use some more info about Sonichu though, and his friendship with Asperchu. Maybe you could help them out there? Most of it is free to edit!

Well, thanks! Keep on zapping to the extreme!

- Marbles}}
{{EmailReply|Sonichu, [[Rosechu]] and I have NO ASSOCIATION WHATSOEVER With "Asperchu". --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:58, 9 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]] <gillianseed@suremail.info>

''"Go watch "The 40-Year Old [[Virgin]]."''

Looks like you didn't read my email. Yes, I've seen the 40 Year Old Virgin. Why else would I bring it up?

Looks like you haven't seen it, so let me explain. It was a comedy, where the joke was a 40 year old who loses his virginity. Emphasis on "joke." Also, keyword here being "comedy."

You know, "comedy" in the same sense that anvils falling out of the sky is comedy?

Sadly though, real life isn't as funny. In real life, you don't walk into a bar and say ouch. You walk into a bar and order a drink. And when you turn 30, you don't lose your virginity.

Also another fun fact. Notice how the character and name of the movie is still called "40 Year Old Virgin" despite the fact that he isn't one at the end?

Real life is the same. A guy who loses his virginity at 18 or 20 is considered normal. A guy who was still a virgin at 30 is a stigma that never goes away.

Do you want to be remembered forever as guy who was the 30 year old virgin? Or even 31, 32, or even worse?

Just trying to help. I'd hate to see anyone end up like that.

Sincerely,
Gillian Seed}}
{{EmailReply|I have had a copy of the [[DVD]] of the movie, UNRATED, since the day it came out on DVD, and I have watched it over 20 times. And to the rest of your e-mail, I say you have YOUR OWN ISSUES to make ammends to. Go See a Psychiatrist.}}

===In which Chris almost figures it out===
{{Email|From: Dr. [[Wikipedia:Josef Mengele|Josef Mengele]] <JosfeMegele@auschwitztdoctors.net>

Dear Christian,

My name is Josef Mengele, I am a doctor studying homosexuals and seeking proper treatment for them. I recently read your most recent issue about homosexuals being cured by your blood to stop the gay gene and I must say I am impressed by your intelligence with regards to homosexuality and knowing it is genetic.

I have several proposals for dealing and treating with homosexuals and I was wondering if I could get some cross examination of my theories from a like minded individual. I believe that we are very close to isolating the elusive “gay gene” in the human genome list. However, finding gays who want to be cured is very hard work! I have proposed to my government body on many occasions the marking of homosexuals, (making them wear rainbow emblems on themselves at all times), and the gathering of homosexuals onto trains and planes to take them to camps where we can better study them and hopefully find a final solution to the homosexual problem. Some people -- mainly the homosexuals -- get really offended when I suggest this… Then again they’re gay and don’t know any better.

Am I wrong in my idea that we should mark homosexuals with a friendly pin so people know they are gay? I think it would be most helpful if we could gather them all up and study them in one location! After all if we are able to implement the [[Wikipedia:Final Solution|final solution]] and rid homosexuality forever wouldn’t it be a good thing? I think homosexuals need to see that this is for the betterment and good of mankind and cooperate more.

Sincerely,

Dr. Josef Mengele}}
{{EmailReply|Your ideas are good, but I do see flaws on them; the wearing of pins would be considered Manditory, yet this a Free Country with Civil Rights; the individuals may choose NOT to wear them even though they have them. And of course they would resist even volunteering to go to a Camp; just the word, Camp, gives the impression of the days when the Jews were oppressed by Hitler (Anne Frank comes to mind), and that is not a good image. If you want their cooperation, you have to give the impression that they are not going to feel Forced. With such, I would recommend the term "Camp" not be used, but use a term that gives a more positive impression on the Study and the Ideas. And lessen the required number for the study; maybe select 5 or 10 homosexual individuals to help, and offer compensation. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:58, 9 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Ain't no sex like jail sex===
{{Email|From: Madison B. Henderson <mhendersonb@yahoo.ca>

Hello, Christian

You said that you intend to video tape yourself having sex with a woman against her wishes. This is extremely illegal and considering your arrest record, you would go straight to prison, where you belong. It doesn't matter that you intend to blurr out her face. Guys like you are used like sexual currency in prisons and you should bear that in mind before you commit this grievous crime. Any Americans reading this should report you to the police to stop you commiting the crimes you have threatened to do.}}
''Chris added a reply template to the bottom of this letter, but failed to answer it.''

==Gone Forever==
===Jivin ain't never getting tied down===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Fred_West|Fred West]]

Dear Chris,

In your amazingly drawn Asperchu comics I was wondering if the character Jivin will ever find his true eternal heartsweet?

Fred West}}

===Chris loses another "fan"===
{{Email|From: Anthony R. <anthony197930@hotmail.com>
Chris,

After your disrespectful response to my previous e-mail, I wanted to let you know that I am ABANDONING you and your comic FOREVER. You see, I have found a much more superior product in Asperchu (http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu), and I will never ever read your comic again. You should learn that fans should be treated with respect, and the way that you treat your fans is unacceptable.

Normally, I would say, "until next time" here, but since I will never talk to you again, I will just bid you adieu.

-Anthony R.}}

===If Chris wasn't so gay, he would have nothing to worry about===
{{Email|From: Chet Wallace <mississippimudboghellnite@aol.com>

Hey asshole,

Don't edit out lines from my email and pretend I never said them like the little chickenshit pansy you are. I said if you secretly taped a girl having sex with you and put it on the internet people would think you were a pervert and it would do nothing at all to prove your heterosexuality. I've seen videos of you drinking your own semen, wearing adult diapers, and videos of you dancing naked with an imaginary gay man (I think you called him "Ivan") in your bathroom. People will just think you're a pervert who drinks his own [[semen]], wears adult diapers, pretends to dance naked with men in the shower AND gets off on secretly filming chicks without their consent. I mean, maybe if you didn't go around acting like a fag people wouldn't call you gay.

Chet

(P.S. I am not a homophobe)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 34

2011-08-09T18:15:46Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 34''' was uploaded on [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 6 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered it on 7 January 2010.

Chris returned to his occasional tactic of removing letters completely in this mailbag. He doesn't seem to realize that he's using a mediawiki website, and that everything he does is recorded forever in the page history where anybody can see it. The two letters he deleted were from Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary (who is quickly reaching [[Liquid Chris]] levels of awesome) and a letter from a group of concerned mothers who (rightfully) believe that [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is inappropriate for children.

The remainder of the letters are just Chris being the opinionated hateful moron we all know and love. Perhaps his most outlandish response was adding another qualification for potential sweethearts: she must be willing for the entire internet to watch Chris fucking her. Other highlights include Chris failing at rationalizing his [[monthly tugboat]], claiming that his "special abilities" would take far too long to list, and totally failing at arguing that [[CWCville]] is not a dictatorship. Apparently, the one thing that makes it not a dictatorship is that the mayoral position is hereditary in nature. Well, ''that'' changes ''everything''.

==Answered==
===Chris would find someone okay with being filmed to take his "virgin cherry branch"===
{{Email|From: John Thatcher <unclejohn@aol.com>

Dear Chris,

I'm a big fan and I'm excited that I can finally write to you. I was a little confused about your statement about when you lose your virginity. You say you're for women's rights and supportive of women having a choice. If she says that she doesn't want to be filmed, then you should respect her wishes. Hidden cameras would be an even greater violation of her privacy and her rights as a human being. She could also sue you.

For someone who says that he's for women's rights, you sure don't respect them very much.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I beg your pardon. I would make sure the woman would be okay with that, and I would have it in writing of no such acts would be followed. Otherwise, I would look for someone else who would love to be filmed taking my Virgin Cherry Branch.}}

===Don't get your hopes up, Chris has never thought about anything===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com
Hey CWC,

It's me again! i was just writing this E-mail to say how much i like the comic, but i feel that it could be improved tenfold if you included Bill the Scientist, the Boulder-Dropping Whale, and Yawning Squirtle in more comics
My 5-year-old son loves your Sonichu comics, but he loves Bill the Scientist, the boulder-dropping whale, and Yawning Squirtle the most of all, and he is very depressed that they are but minor characters, and he cries his little heart out most days.
Please help me make my son be happy again,

sincerely

Sarah Lutt

PS: Why did you say 'No Comment' to that one e-mail by a fan asking the same question as i did? Isn't that what the rejected Mailbag is for?}}
{{EmailReply|I'll think about it.}}

===Wild weekend===
{{Email|From: Chet Wallace <mississippimudboghellnite@aol.com>

Like you, I am SO SICK OF MISLABELING. Instead of people calling me gay people call me a racist. I'm not, though. I don't hate black people, I just hate the things they do. And sure, I have a Confederate flag hanging over my desk and make a few jokes about Obama, but WHO DOESN'T? I don't have anything against black people, I just want them to keep their black people doings behind closed doors and out of my face!

I got so tired of it that I filmed myself having sex with a black woman and sent the video to all my friends, co-workers and relatives. I used a hidden camera and blurred out her face, but everybody I know was pretty much appalled. I don't get it! What's more not-racist than fucking a black chick and sending links to the grainy amateur video you recorded of it to everyone you know at Christmas?

My point is, you just can't please some people. ''Having sex with a girl on a hidden camera wouldn't convince anyone you're straight, they'd just think you're a pervert.''

Chet}}
''Chris deleted the italicized line from his TRUE AND HONEST PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CWCVILLE MAILBAG.''
{{EmailReply|Wow, Dude. You've had yourself a Wild Weekend. Good for you.}}

===Good luck in hell===
{{Email|From: Jeff T. Ford <jtf@mail.com>
Hey Chris,

If you visit this site (http://tinyurl.com/yem8j3t) you'll see that it is prefectly legal to marry one's cousin in Virginia. As CWCville is in Virginia, and therefore falls under Virginian law, it is legal to marry your cousin there too.

You see, state law overrules local council laws so even if you as mayor decreed it was illegal, the state would overrule you.

I for one am happily married to my cousin. She is very pretty and I get regular sex.

Jeff.}}
{{EmailReply|Okay, good luck in hell with the Incestings.}}

===Chris's fake degree===
{{Email|From: Miguel Sanchez <hawaiian_robot@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris,

You keep mentioning that you have a 'degree' in Computer Aided Drafting and Design, however, this is only an Associate's Degree, which is only equivalent to half a Bachelor's Degree, as it only takes half as many credit points to earn. When you pass off an Associate's Degree as a Bachelor's, it outrages someone such as myself, who worked very hard to earn his Bachelor's with Honours. Could you please differentiate between the two in the future.

Thanks!}}
{{EmailReply|A Degree is a Degree to me, and I am satisfied with my hard work and earned Degree and Certificate.}}

===In which Chris fails economics forever===
{{Email|From: poundoflesh@aol.com

Dear Christian,

As a long time lover of your work I was wondering if you could answer a question my friends often harass me about when it comes to you. They often mock you by saying you are wasting their tax dollars with your "monthly tugboat" otherwise known as a welfare check. My question is why do you think I as a taxpayer should pay for you when you seem to be capable of holding a job? I know its because you're a fellow artist, but I want to give them an answer in your words not mine. Also you brought up Bush's tax-cuts for a reason of your liking him, was your family included in that?

Sincerely,

[[wikipedia:Ezra Pound|Ezra Pound]]}}
{{EmailReply|To answer your second question, I do not know for certain. But to clarify the other topic, My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well. So, think of when you ask that question, "Why do you think I as a taxpayer should pay for you when you seem to be capable of holding a job?", I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:44, 8 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Electric inequality Pokémon===
{{Email|From: doyouunderstand2@aol.com
Why do some Sonichus and Rosechus live in houses, while others (like Chloe and Blazebob) live in Pokeballs?}}
{{EmailReply|Story-Wise, the two were INTRODUCED that way, because they came all the way from Australia, the country of their creator, who not only gave me permission to use them in my books, but was a close online girlfriend of mine who DIED in the Australia wild Bushfires of Janurary, 2009, aka PandaHalo, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie. Chloe and Blazebob, after the fire and chaos, later obtained Cwcville citizenship, got jobs and found and are sharing a good apartment. Before the apartment, though, they did stay in one of Cwcville's Soup Hotels for about a month. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:44, 8 January 2010 (CET)}}

===And don't you forget it===
{{Email|From: Craig Curly <curlman921@yahoo.com>
On what date exactly did you consciously choose to be heterosexual, and what brought you to this decision?}}
{{EmailReply|DUDE, I ALWAYS have been Heterosexual.}}

===Chris needs time to list his special abilities===
{{Email|From: marmitist@gmail.com
I've been reading Sonichu for a few months now, and I wanted to tell you how much I like it. Keep up the good work! Anyway, I just watched Rain Man for the first time. Have you ever seen it? It's really good. It's about an Autistic man who has amazing abilities with counting and all sorts of math. I was wondering if you, as a High-Functioning Autistic Adult had any special or extraordinary abilities like Rain Man did, either with numbers or other things.

If you do, what kind of special abilities do you have? I've read that nearly all Autistics have some kind of amazing talents, and I'd really like to know what yours are.

Take Care,

[[wikipedia:Kim Peek|Kim Peek]]}}
{{EmailReply|I have seen Rain Man. Like him, I do have my own [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|special abilities]] of my own, yet I'd have to list them to let you know, and that will take a while. But UNLIKE that guy, I have not [[Chris Loses It|randomly]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|screamed]] [[CWC_Update!!!!!_27_March_2009|like]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|that]] for Decades, and I am more [[Megan|sociable]] and [[Honor Roll|intelligent]] than how he was portrayed.}}

===Apparently North Korea's not a dictatorship===
{{Email|From: Brandon Louthan <brandonl1701@yahoo.com>
I'm sorry, but I read in your one mailbag that gay sex is illegal in CWCville and Magi-Chan has the ability to tell when it happens...that seems like an invasion of privacy to me. Sound something like a dictator would do.}}
{{EmailReply|I assure you, it is NOT a dictator-type government; as said on the Wikipedia on Dictatorship as a Government Type, and I quote, "A dictatorship is defined as an autocratic form of government in which the government is ruled by an individual, the dictator, without '''hereditary ascension'''." I have previously stated that Cwcville was originally founded by my Father, in which made him Mayor of it for some years, who gave it a different name before he named me Mayor later on. Yet is NOT a Monarchy either, because we HOLD elections for the Members of the Cwcville Board and such. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:44, 8 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris is somewhat unpleasant===
{{Email|From: Jouko Mies <joukomies@luukku.com>

Hi Chris!

Do you really think that you would be able to raise a child? Don't you think that you should be castrated, so that you wouldn't be able to spread your filthy autistic genes? Also, did you know that high-functioning autistics are 19 times more likely to be child molesters?}}
{{EmailReply|Do Not Listen to Stupid Rumors. "F" You.}}

===The 30-year old virgin===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]] <gillianseed@suremail.info>
Hi, Chris.

I noticed that you're very close to turning 30. You'll turn 28 this year. And in only two years, you'll hit the big three-oh.

While, normally I'd be happy for you. I unfortunately have some bad news. In today's society, 30 is what is typically known as the "unfuckable age" (don't get mad at me, I didn't invent the term).

Basically, the older you get, the harder it is to score. And when you're 30, things become extremely grim. Girls don't date guys old enough to be their father, just as you wouldn't date someone 20 years older than you.

Guys always try to lose their virginities before they get to age 30. Those that don't tend to end up miserable. In fact, people who are 30 or older virgins aren't considered normal.

That's why countless movies are made laughing at those in this situation (like "40 Year Old Virgin") and laughing how ridiculous it would be such people could lose their virginity.

Sadly though, real life isn't as comedic. That's about as lightly as I can put it. The good news is, you've still got 2 years.

Do you plan on losing your virginity before then, or will you become "the 30 year old virgin" and witness first hand how people in your situation are treated as the butt of every joke?

I know, it's a bad position to be in. But hang in there, Chris.

Sincerely,
Gillian Seed}}
{{EmailReply|Go watch "The 40-Year Old Virgin".}}

==Gone Forever==
===Asperpedia!===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Christian,

Due to the popularity of Asperchu, I have decided to create my own Wikipedia. I suggest you take a look. Hopefully, this will become even more popular than the CWCipedia!

http://tinyurl.com/yeotodh

Sincerely,
Alec Benson Leary}}

===Boycott===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Baby-sitters club#Mary Anne Spier|MaryAnneSpier]]@BSC.com

Dear Christian,

Having recently moved from Stoneybrook Conneticut, I joined the Virginian Family Association of Virginia, a non-profit organisation that supports straight rights and the heterosexual lifestyle. I a writing to inform you that as of 1/1/2010 we have been engaging in a nationwide boycott of Sonichu comics because they explicitly support the wicked homosexual lifestyle.

Please visit our site here: http://sites.google.com/site/boycottsonichu/

Currently over 400,000 Virginians have signed to get Sonichu banned, permanently.

Burn in Hell, homo.

Love,
Mary-Anne.
xx}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 33

2011-08-09T18:15:13Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 33''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 5 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] answered the letters on 6 January.

One of the more noticeable attributes of this mailbag is the frequent use of the phrase " as individual people". Chris seems to comprehend that you can't just mistreat people because they're [[Homos|gay]], atheist or any of the many other social groups he despises, but he's not willing to give up on hating them. Therefore he keeps stating that he won't discriminate against them as ''individual people'' as some sort of pitiful attempt at damage control.

The answers are all pretty much just the standard Chris idiocy we've all come to expect. Chris shoots down our hopes and dreams of seeing more of [[List of Sonichu characters#Bill The Scientist|Bill]], poorly defends his demanding that [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] and [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] kill themselves, and claims that he's far too busy to tell off the creators of [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]. He rejects two letters, one from [[Evan]], who still wants [[Simonla]] removed from the comics, and one from someone who pointed out that [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]] were not really suitable for children.

==Answered==
===Chris and the census===
{{Email|From: Lucas Johnston <l.johnston2194@gmail.com>

hello chris,

I've been interviewing people for a while to survey different belifs in the community (for the U.S Census Bureau) I deal with the misuderstanding of different customs. I've stummbled on the Sonichu stuff a little while ago and i was interested i asking you some typical questions i ask people.

1) What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes Satanism,Atheism, Agnosticism)

2) How do you feel about the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?

3) how do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Facism.

4) How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, Alchol, etc.

5) Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?

6) Are you uncomfortable about people of Color? do you have any tensions twords them?

7) Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music? many people dislike Death Metal: http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5

8) What do you think of our current president? Is he decieving Americans as the Right Wing has expressed?

9) Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or North Korea Are actually Communist?

10) How do you think the situation in Afganistan is going? Is there anything you would do differnt?

I hope you respond to the questions
thank you very much,
Lucas
}}
{{EmailReply|1) For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. I will not discriminate the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People. 2) As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully. 3) As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them. 4) I STAND FULLY AGAINST Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, unresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents. 5) Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of. 6) I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of Sweetheart or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be Black. 7) I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good. 8) I think Obama is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are sour, mean people; I give no concern to them. 9) I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean. 10) I do not have full knowledge of that situation either. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:23, 7 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Trolls > Fans===
{{Email|From: Mattioli Method <mattiolimethod@gmail.com>

Do you believe the number of fans you have outnumbers the number of trolls you have?

-Matt}}
{{EmailReply|I can not say for certain, but I like to believe that I have More Good and Honset Fans than Dark, Evil Trolls.}}

===He kissed his mom===
{{Email|From: Carmen Granger <loveonanescalator@yahoo.com>

So who did you kiss on New Year's Eve?}}
{{EmailReply|I rarely kiss and tell. ;)}}

===Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"===
{{Email|From: bella <somatological@yahoo.com>

Hey Chris, four questions for the new year! 2010! Yeah!

Ok

1. Do you know that Wrath is one of the seven deadly sins in the Bible? So isn't it a straight ticket to hell if you wish suicide on someone? Please PLEASE tell me your reasoning. I'm not slandering you, I'm just curious.

2. How do you feel about your church accepting homosexuals as God's children? Again, not trying to anger you, just curious.

3. Do lesbians go to Heaven and do gays go to Hell?

4. What is your EARLIEST instance of fearing gay men?

Thanks for reading, Chris.

Peace,

Bella}}
{{EmailReply|1) I have confessed of that to [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]], and they have forgiven me on that. I spoke of that under reasonable hatred in the video. Those two HAD to learn that they were NOT doing their kind of people any favors by Darkening the view upon from ME and most of the world. 2) I have no objections to that. 3) All homosexuals are very likely to end up in Hell. 4) I do not fear them; my hatred for them is stronger.}}

===OF COURSE Chris would like the worst Sonic game ever===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>

Chris, you state that "All Sonic Games" are among the best games ever.

You are so horribly wrong. You see, Sonic 2006 is included in that.

And Sonic 2006 is known as one of the worst games ever. Period.

Video games are an art form, and the game failed to entertain. The plot was utterly terrible, confusing, and the romance involved made Star Wars Episode II(George Lucas is generally thought of as a poor romance writer) look like Romeo and Juliet. Oh, and that's not my "Opinion", Sega fired the entire writing staff responsible for that abomination. Look it up.

Many of the graphics were just placeholders from SA1. Graphical inferiority included. Lazyness is not fun to look at.

And the loading screens, my god the loading screens. I once watched a Let's Play of the game. At the end, the players clocked their total amount of time spent staring at the loading screens--two hours. Out of a 20 hour file. They spent 10% of the game watching the other 90% load. Most games spent 1% of the time loading, just to give you a reference point.

The Mach Speed sections suffered from poor control and level design(that means the logical placing of obstacles, not just how the level looks).

Oh, and during said Let's Play, they read all the reviews in all the gaming magazines that reviewed it. Only one gave it anything higher than an "F", and that was later revealed as the critic in question being pressured into giving it a good review against his will.}}
{{EmailReply|I Do Not Care for the CRITICS' OPINIONS on ANY Sonic Game. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:23, 7 January 2010 (CET)}}

===No comment strikes again!===
{{Email|From: Elise Oram <elise.oram@gmail.com>

Hi Chris! My name is Elise. I live in Indiana, which is a state that has a lot of corn. I have been reading Sonichu since March. I hadn't read the Asperchui comic you labelled as a homo parody until today, because of how much you hated it, but I got curious. After reading the whole thing, i felt I should email you to tell you that I think you've got the wrong idea about it. It's only a parody of Sonichu insofar as Sonichu is a parody of Sonic. I found it to be a very touching tribute to you, because Mr. Leary clearly feels that you and your life and accomplishments have inspired him. Asperchu isn't in any way portrayed as a homo. I don't think you even read it from the way you are reacting. I believe you should give it a new chance and "Open Your Heart" as Sonic would say.

Thanks for your time!

Elise O}}
{{EmailReply|No comment.}}

===Chris the lazyass===
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Shit son, if [[Gay 4 Sonichu]] really is fuckin' up your creations, why don't you just STRAIGHT UP TELL THEM? I mean shit, they have a message board. It's right here: http://gay4sonichu.xxxfaster.net/.}}
{{EmailReply|Because I haven't the time for that at the moment.}}

===At least he's grown up SOMEWHAT===
{{Email|From: blockkick78@aol.com

My FAVORITE holiday in the world is Halloween. I love dressing up as monsters when I was a kid. What did you dress up as when you went out Trick-or-Treating? I'd really appreciate as full a list as you can provide, including years, any comments you might have on the costumes, and/or even pictures if you have some.}}
{{EmailReply|I have not Trick-or-Treated in years. Those details I would have to sort out and get back on.}}

===Chris denies balding===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Edward R. Burke|Ed Burke]] <edburke@live.com>
Chris, you are balding. It's okay; there are products that can help save your hair. I suggest Rogaine, but you can do some additional research on your own.

If you do not believe me, please show the top of your head clearly in your next youtube video. That way, your hairline will be a matter of record. If I am wrong about your hair I will not only admit it, but also tell all my friends who think you are losing your hair that they are wrong.

I'm trying to help you here buddy. The trolls say you're going bald. If you're not, you can prove it and shut them up. If you are, there are ways to save your here. Take control.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor.}}

===If it's not him or a Sonichu, he hates 'em!===
{{Email|From: Bill The Scientist <billthescientist@hotmail.co.uk>
DEAR CWC,

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NO COMMENT?! I FEEL THAT READERS WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YAWNING SQUIRTLE, THE BOULDER DROPPING WHALE, AND ME (BILL THE SCIENTIST), NOT FOR OUR OWN EGOTISTICAL NEED FOR RECOGNITION, (OKAY, MAYBE A LITTLE BIT), BUT FOR THE FANS, MAN! THE FANS LOVE US, WE HAVE LITERALLY SEVERAL FANS, WE ARE THE MOST POPULAR CHARACTERS, IF YOU TAKE A QUIZ ON WHICH CHARACTERS ARE THE MOST POPULAR, WE'D BE THE MOST POPULAR CHARACTERS.

PEACE OUT,
BILL THE SCIENTIST}}
{{EmailReply|Those characters are ONE-TIME; I have not much care for their popularity.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Brotherly love===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>

To the REAL Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler,

I am TRULY SORRY, my last e-mail ACCIDENTALLY went through to the
IMPOSTOR IN BROWN. He is TRICKY and I never meant to mistake him for
you. I would LOVE to see him get his Comeuppance in future
reappearances in the Sonichu series. SO MANY of my attempts at coming
to a solution with you over the Legal Matter of Simonla have
accidentally wound up in his Nefarious Hands.

My lawyers have found a Loophole that might be able to Save You;
Apparently, while using my Simonchu is ILLEGAL and will get you in
JAIL, and Simonla counts as a RIPOFF right now, there's one other way
to fix it. You can apparently turn her Into A Man and it will make her
a PARODY of my Simonchu instead of just a Ripoff. You could Write a
Story about maybe Slaweel Ryam uses Evil Hexes to curse Simonla and
give her male genitalia, and show how Wild and Simonla cope with this
in The Relationship.

HOWEVER, it's Still Legal if she Turns Back to Normal in the end. As
long as she Becomes a Man for a whole Chapter, No Lawsuits will be
necessary and Wild won't have to lose his Heartsweet to a Tragic,
Permanent Death (which remains the only other solution).

I know this isn't a Pleasant Solution, but I think it's a chance for
Both Characters to Grow without the necessity of Death. This will make
Everything Legal regarding Simonchu/Simonla if you do this story
URGENTLY, if a Story dealing with Simonla either being Killed Off or
Turned into a Man isn't at least STARTED by February, my Lawyers say
that Simonla's appearance is TOTALLY ILLEGAL and we will have to SUE.
I will try and Push This Off to a later date if you Show Cooperation,
however.

Thank You for your Assumed Cooperation, and Look Out For the Return of Simonchu Soon,

Evan Christopher George, Simonchu's TRUE Creator}}
''Chris answered this letter a day later, on 8 [[January 2010]].''
{{EmailReply|After having given it some more thought, I have a suggestion, how about if Simonchu and Simonla were Brother and Sister? HE would still make an appearance to share the Brotherly Love to his Sister. That is my offer. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:20, 8 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris really is all kinds of fucked up===
{{Email|From: kawaiinamine32@aol.com
Thank you for answering my questions, though you didn't answer them, for lack of a better word, well. I'm kind of offended by the "competing". How are we, people with Aspergers Syndrome, like that? Please tell me. as for Black Sonichu or whatever his name is now, he has an individual what? That answer made no sense! Did you mean he's an indivual something? Hedgehog-pokemon? Creature? An indiviual who for some reason HAS to have a "heartsweet" like everyone else? I personally think he'd be better off being alone, but whatever. You must be joking about your rating, all the panty shots, Rosechu being nude and tearing into someone's head, gratutious Hedgehog-pokemon sex, partial nudity and people being killed off with detailed deaths...Yup, this is definitely made for children. }}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 32

2011-08-09T18:14:40Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 32''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 4 [[January 2010]]. [[Chris]] began answering it in the very late hours of 5 January.

Highlights include Chris, in denial as usual, freaking out at someone pointing out that stealing jokes wholesale is kinda lame, Chris freaking out at Alec Benson Leary (creator of smash success [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]) and calling him a [[Chris and his ego|"Self-Egotistical"]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|narcissist]], Chris freaking out about cousins marrying, and essentially, Chris freaking out in general. It's been awhile since he's gotten this excited over a mailbag, probably all the [[stress]] of [[Sonichu 10|eliminating his enemies in fiction]] is finally getting to him. He also exaggerates the sexual and violent content in things intended for children, and thinks that ''Romeo and Juliet'' started its existence as a book and a movie.

==Answered==
===Chris to everybody who knows anything about him: F*** you===
{{Email|From: Jack Winne <J.Winne@gmail.com>

I noticed you've replied to a lot of emails referencing [[Wikipedia:The Bear That Wasn't|the Bear that wasn't]]. However the bear in the end chose for itself and acted like a bear despite everyone else labelling him, in the end they still all thought he was a man in a fur coat who needed a shave.

You'd have to accept that many people see you as a homosexual if you're taking the moral of the story. But in your case that's bad since women would also see you as such. The bear didn't need anything from the people labelling him but you probably aren't happy with women in particular labelling you as homosexual.}}
{{EmailReply|ONLY a couple of emails. After some thought after reading your message, my response to ALL THOSE INDIVIDUALS, male and female, who dare to continue to mislabel me as such is "F*** YOU." --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:57, 6 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes===
{{Email|From: Jack [[Wikipedia:Metalocalypse|Mustakrakish]] <[[Wikipedia:The Dethalbum|awakenawaken]]@aol.com>

I came across an article in the Richmond Times-Dispatch about your name change, and it mentioned that your parents were living separately from each other at the time. Are you aware of why they chose to live this way? My parents never lived apart for any length of time.}}
{{EmailReply|They lived separately for two reasons; one was to KEEP and maintain the Ruckersville house and the pets there, and because my mother had not yet retired from working at Virginia Power (which [[Christopher's name change|'''STUPIDLY''' changed their name]] to Dominion Power). After she had retired while I was in 8th Grade, SHE moved to the Richmond Home and brought all the pets, including Patti, with her; I helped. Then we moved back completely after my Graduation from Manchester High in 2000. They were still happily married, and before retirement from V.P., she came over for visits on the Weekends every Weekend.}}

===You fail genetics forever===
{{Email|From: Reggie Morris <stiffness@corpse.com>

In Mailbag 27, you said this:
"I believe a vaccine is most capable to change their mental status; my prescription has Definitely lowered my stress levels. I should know, I recently went ONE MONTH without it, and the stress LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED ME; it HURT WORSE in comparison to being on it; I went back on it, and I still take it with appreciation for it's good work on keeping me more capable on emotionally coping with stress. "

This is very interesting. Please elaborate.

You also said in the same mailbag:
"You Are Seriously Mistaken, and Your Theory IS PROVEN FALSE. To truly KILL the Gay Gene, the weakened Gene had to be made, but THEN the gene would need to be Replaced; otherwise, the injected person would become Asexual. The Straight Gene is put in the Vaccine to Replace the Gay Gene AFTER elimination to PREVENT Asexuality."

Please explain how this was proven to be, the procedures taken, and how genetics work. This is certainly unlike anything I've ever heard. It may even change biology as we know it.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I would point out looking up "Paxil" or "Paroxitine" on the Wikipedia and reading the scientific details on how it has proven to Successfully Reduce Levels of Stress.

I admit that I am NOT an expert in genetics, but THINK ABOUT IT, if you imagine a DNA Strand, you Remove the ONE GENE that sets the orientation, it leaves the individual without appropriate guidance and attraction towards their opposite gender. So, the Absent Gene has to be replaced with its opposite; the SWITCH from the Gay Gene with the Straight Gene.}}

===Chris knows what's best for your kids===
{{Email|From: George Pliskin <georgepliskin8@gmail.com>

Stop responding to some of the questions with "I'll deal with that when I cross that bridge". That just shows that you are not prepared for anything, please give a real answer it shows your fans respect. Don't just take it into consideration, actually do it.

Here's my question, why do you put sex in your comics that just seems pointless and immature, I thought this was a children's book with fantasy battles. What I've seen are disturbing things that children shouldn't learn until they are at least 15 years old. So could you please clean up the content of your series.

P.S. Quit avoiding questions with your "cross the bridge" phrase.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, this is one question that does not appropriately deserve that response. To answer it, EVEN IN FAIRY TALES, there ARE depictions of love and romance to full detail, even violence sometimes. Like, Romeo and Juilet; THE ORIGINAL BOOK and MOVIE depicts SEX between the couple. And what happens to the Queen in Snow White was not exactly pleasant either. And Little Red Riding Hood and Grandma GET EATEN by the WOLF, and the wolf GETS DISSECTED by the [[Lumberjack]]. Oh, Yeah, GUTS! Now THAT IS TV-Y Acceptable now isn't it? GET OVER YOURSELF. THE CHILDREN WILL BE SEEING SEX AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES ANYWAY, YOU CAN NOT STOP IT. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:57, 6 January 2010 (CET)}}
''Note that Romeo and Juliet originated as a [[Wikipedia:The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet|poem]] and then a [[Wikipedia:Romeo and Juliet|play]], neither of which described or depicted sex.''

===Quit swearing so goddamn much===
{{Email|From: <scarfermezzo@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Why do you say "god damn" and other variations of the phrase? Do you understand that this is putting the Lord's name in vain. As a Christian, it'd be wise to try to avoid saying His name in vain (including things like "Oh My God", "I Swear to God", etc.). I know we aren't all perfect and sinless but it's not like you even try to stop or even repent. When reading through your Twitter and mailbags, I see you taking his name in vain. Again, and again. It's not too hard to do, so if you want to stop adding sins on top of your pile, this is one step to improvement.

From,

Scarf!}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that under consideration, and I do say my prayers and admit my sins and mistakes and get forgiven daily.}}

===For more information, see Lovely Weather===
{{Email|From: Jessica Lawler <jessica.marie.lawler@gmail.com>

Dear Christian,

I recently watched a BBC documentary entitled "Guys and Dolls". It explores the relationship that some men have with Real Dolls. The men in the documentary are around your age and have trouble finding a Sweetheart. These men have decided that they will never find a companion and have settled for a life with Real Dolls. I saw a lot of behaviors in this video that reminded me of you and I would like your input. Would you ever consider a relationship with a Real Doll? I don't mean [[Kimmi]] either -- Real Dolls are more durable and less prone to Internal Damages.

You don't need to view the documentary to answer my question. I'd really just like to know what you think of Real Dolls and if you would consider them as a lifelong companion.
However here is the link in case you are curious. [http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/guys-and-dolls/]

Thanks in advance!

Jessica <3}}
{{EmailReply|NO. I will NEVER EVER SETTLE for such a [[Lovely Weather|PRETEND RELATIONSHIP]].}}

===In which Chris fails to notice that this guy just called him a retard===
{{Email|From: Steve Johnson <amazingaspie@gmail.com>

Hey Chris, I just wanted to say I can't believe so many people don't listen to you when you say Autism and Asperger's are completely different! As someone diagnosed with Asperger's, I agree with you 100%. Honestly, it offends me to be constantly compared to retards.

Anyway, I love your comics. They remind me of these comics my 5-year old nephew drew me, although his had better artwork.}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for agreeing with me on my point of view.}}

===Lovecraft's got nothing on Chris===
{{Email|From: criticalmass82@aol.com

Hello Christian!

I hope you are well. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is [[Wikipedia:H. P. Lovecraft|Howard Phillips Lovecraft]], but my friends call me H.P. If you wish you may also call me H.P.

I have been a fan of yours for quite some time and it is evident that we share many similar interests and are roughly the same age so grew up with the same shows and toys.

As a fan I had a few questions for you, Christian Weston Chandler. Most of these will be simple YES or NO questions.

1.Have you ever considered going back to school to further your skills as an artist for the comic and to give you more chances at social interaction thus giving you a better chance of finding a girlfriend?

2. Do you believe a straight male may find sexual pleasure through anal stimulation, through use of fingers ot sex toys while masturbating or having sex, and still be 100% straight?

3. As a Christian, what do you think is the most terrible sin besides murder?

4. What do you believe is the most important thing about a man that attracts women to him?

5. Do you think looks matter in a relationship?

6. What is the first thing you notice about a girl? Be honest please.

7. Do you believe in ghosts or other supernatural beings, besides God and the Lord Jesus Christ that is?

8. What is your favorite car or truck?

9. If you ever got a tattoo what would it be and where?

10. Would you ever date a girl with tattoos?

11. If you had to live somewhere besides Virginia, where would you live?

12. If a gay man were to ever flirt with you, what would you do?

13. Do you like fudge?

14. Do you ever have nightmares? If so, what are they about?

I think that is enough for now. Thanks for taking the time to answer our emails.

H.P. }}
{{EmailReply|1) For Social Interaction, it is a good idea, but I wouldn't want to just take a class that I would just throw all teachings of out of my head after passing it just for some Social Life. 2) AS LONG AS they have WOMEN in Mind and Heart when performing such stimuations, then yes they are still straight. 3) Deception. 4) Good Looks, I expect. 5) On a minor percentage of the relationship, yes. 6) Her Face. 7) Yes, but I am not frightened of them. Although I may be surprised or shocked appropriately. 8) Chevy Camaro. 9) I would never get a tattoo. But if I were to, I think I would get it on my upper back. 10) ONLY if she had one or two; NO MORE. 11) I am uncertain. 12) Inform that I am Straight, and if he continues, I would [[Chris and anger|PUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUTS!]] 13) ONLY the regular chocolate fudge. 14) Yes I sometimes have nightmares. I have had some where I have SEEN the FLASH OF DEATH from an appropriate cause, including drowning. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:57, 6 January 2010 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Yeah, she was===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]] <littlemissausten@yahoo.com>

Chris,

I'm a long-time fan of the comic and find you a great role model for a writer dealing with adversity, being one myself, but one thing does concern me. In your recent FAQ section, you mention how it is common practice to use ideas from other media when otherwise out of ideas. You then cite the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Simpsons Already Did It|Simpsons Did It]]" as a reference. That South Park episode featured unintentional copying of ideas by Butters and could serve as a commentary to how difficult it is to come up with original ideas. However, you intentionally copy ideas from other shows. In fact, you go so far as to rip characters, plots, and characters wholesale from other works. This is at best lazy writing and at worst copyright infringement.. Just because you can get away with this practice does not make it ethical or encouraged. I find this very disappointing from an otherwise accomplished writer such as yourself. So, are you lazy, uncreative, a plagiarist, or some combination of all three? I'd appreciate more originality from you in the future, especially if you hope to be a role model for other young writers such as myself.
Thank You,
Jane}}
{{EmailReply|ARE YOU SO ORIGINAL, YOURSELF?}}

===Trolls are not known for giving a damn===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>

"I have told those trolls that they are the scum of the earth,"

Newsflash: Trolls don't care about being insulted. Attempting to insult one is like trying to douse a wildfire with oil--it only makes them stronger.

"and that they give their kind of people,"

Trolls have always had a bad name and they enjoy having one, so again they don't care.

"specifically [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] and [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]] giving their Homosexual Male kind a worse name, in videos on YouTube and such."

Is this like the supposed "blackmail" you attempted when you grabbed a random gay sex image off of google images and claimed that it was Clyde? Because, I'm pretty sure he's heterosexual, what with raping [[PandaHalo|Panda]] and all. Jack I don't know about.

Or did Clyde just say that he supports gay rights and you jumped to conclusions and decided that he must be gay? Because, y'know, it's possible to be straight and still support gay rights. Just like how it's possible to like both Pokemon and Harry Potter, but you failed to understand even that.

Really Chris, I'm starting to think that the trolls are right about your lack of intelligence. I should let you know that I'm a very well respected fan and if I leave, I'll take a sizable chunk of the fanbase with me. Fans are money, and you'd better show your report cards and prove me wrong or else you'll lose out.}}

===Just kill Simonla already dammit===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>
To Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler,

Thank you for finally getting back to me and giving me a GOOD reason
for why you won't remove [[Simonla]]. I understand why you have been so
reluctant to do this now!

However, the reason I trust you do kill her in the story is because
you can write from your experiences. You have had many Sweethearts who
have Tragically Died; you know the Pain and Heartbreak Wild would
suffer if something happened to Simonla. It is a Tragic, Real Life
Experience that happens to people Every Day. I think adding this to
your story would be an Interesting Twist should you spend an entire
chapter dedicated to Wild losing his Heartsweet and recovering with
the help of Sonichu and the Gang, and maybe finding new love?

However, if you can think of a GOOD, PERMANENT way to remove Simonla
without causing the Heart Break, PLEASE do it and PLEASE show it
actually happening in the comics; Usually when people die in Sonichu
or Leave Forever it happens Off-Screen; my lawyers want to SEE Simonla
leaving the story before they can Legally Accept it.

-Evan}}

==Parodies==
===Asperchu can't be a parody of Chris, because Asperchu's not a total <s>dick</s> fucking asshole===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu|Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Christian,

Thank you again for clearing up your words that I was wondering about! However, I am afraid that you Have indeed given me a blessing for the cartoon show, if with your actions but not only your words. You See, although it is clear you do not care for some of the lesser quibling aspects of ASPERCHU, you do recognize it as a fiery, flaming inspiration of Exquisite Art, which is the words what Mr. Tartica, an Executive Officer over at the Cartoon Network said - not my own words, but rather His. I do not mean to Anger you with this statement, but I felt you should see his words for Yourself, because it is important you know just How Much of a Great Weight you have given to my efforts to establish myself as an Up and Coming Artisan.

Now, with that out of the way, I have something of a Bone to pick with you, I must confess. In fact, I would go so far as to say that there are several levels to my concern, each of which deserves Coverage. FIRST: You say that ASPERCHU is a "Look-Alike Sonichu Character with a Look-Alike Sonichu Medallion". Now, I am JUST PLAINED OFFENDED at YOUR offense, Mr. Christian Weston Chandler! that you would call ASPERCHU a "look-alike" is appalling: FIRST of all, ASPERCHU has glasses, while SONICHU most certainly does NOT; it is a little-known fact that ASPERCHU has the astigmatism. SECONDLY, ASPERCHU, as you pointed out, wears clothes! First you say ASPERCHU is a parody of Sonichu, next you say he is a parody of you yourself with the shirt. Which is it, Mr. Chandler? ASPERCHU cannot parody both of you completely different beings and still be a parody. SECONDLY, you say that the previous letter, the picture contained within you submit here as evidence of your claim, was placed in your [[Rejected Mailbag#Parodies|parody page]]. But it is YOU YOURSELF who put that ASPERCHU image into your parody mailbag, not I. If it were up to me, you would have placed it into your ORIGINAL mailbag, as that is what it is (I do not even see that you even HAVE an original mailbag yet, what is up with that?). THIRDLY, you say that that image is full of the suggestions of [[Homos|homogayrotica]]. That is just plain and duly absurd! In that image, ASPERCHU and his joy-boy Sonichu are enjoying the Comfort and Camaraderie that comes when two Adult, Confident, STRAIGHT male friends are able to share their PLATONIC friendship with each other in a PLATONIC hug. NOTHING MORE. There is absolutely NOTHING of the homogay in that image. But just to prove ONCE AND FOR ALL that ASPERCHU is NOT the homogay, I have crafted and submitted a New image to depict to you: Tell me, if ASPERCHU were not STRAIGHT, would he be using AXE SHOWER GEL? No, I do not think he would.

I do thank you for clarifying what you mean concerning your opinions on the Aspergers and the Autism. I must say however, that as one afflicted with the Aspergers, it is my opinion that I do not have the qualification to make a determination personally. Because of this, I cannot say that you are not right or wrong that Aspergers and Autism are not linked. However, I must ask you this question: If it is in fact a True Fact that the Aspergers is not linked to the Autism, then how exactly is ASPERCHU a parody of Sonichu? Because apart from his major differences - the glasses, the clothes, the goatee, the stories, and Such - ASPERCHU has the ASPERGERS! He is even a part Aspergers-type pokemon (he is electric-type and Aspergers-type). He must therefore NOT be a parody of Sonichu, as I have been saying for the while. So please retract your statement that ASPERCHU is a parody of Sonichu, as the completely DIFFERENT mental conditionings PROVE that I came up with ASPERCHU all on my own.

Sincerely,

Alec Benson Leary}}
{{EmailReply|BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Boy, ARE YOU [[Chris and hypocrisy|Self-Gloated, Self-Boasting and Self-Egotistical]]. Yep, you are indeed a literal classic by-the-book case BASTARD.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 31

2011-08-09T18:13:48Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 31''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] 31 [[December 2009]]. On [[January 2010|1 January 2010]], Chris answered the questions (which require far less [[Stress|reading]]) but not the letters. Shortly after, CWCipedia was issued cease and desist letters from both [[11042009_51_50|Coca]]-[[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|cola]] and [[Family Guy|20th Century Fox]] for Chris's unauthorized placement of ads that suggested the Coke and the movie Avatar endorsed his [[Homos|bigoted]] views.

Chris answered the letters on 4 January. Compared to most other [[Mailbag|mailbags]], his answers were slightly more in-depth and ''vastly'' more disturbing. The most outlandish response was that he intends to make good on his [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|promise to film his first time]], even if his [[sweetheart]] disagrees. Chris also stated that he would rather let an innocent man die than have [[Homos|gay sex]], implied that he expects [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] to personally inform him whenever he's in error, and told us all that [[Magi-Chan]] psychically watches everybody in [[CWCville]] have sex, so anybody doing it wrong can be arrested. Worst of all, he states that the punishment to any sort of sexual violation, including child rape, is a $500 fine! Asperchu makes a special guest appearance, which goes a long way to make the whole ordeal more bearable.

==Answered==
===If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I just wanted to let you know that my kids and I are HUGE fans of your comic. I read a page to them every night before their bedtime.

But in [[mailbag 23]] you stated that it would be ok for kids to watch adult things with parental supervision. Does this mean that it would be ok for them to watch pornography with me? It's not like I'd be touching them or molesting them. I also wouldn't be jerking off- I just like watching girls & guys get it on with each other.

I think it'd be pretty educational for them. They'd get to know where babies come from and I'd get to watch my porn without worrying about them walking in- they'd already be there! As long as I explain it to them, it's ok- right?

I started doing this already and my kids haven't complained or anything! I've told all of my fellow fathers about your advice and they've already started doing it as well!

Thanks Chris!!

Mike}}
{{EmailReply|WOAH!!! Slow Down There. I was talking in reference to shows that are Rated TV-14 at the most; I did not mean to include XXX Pornography, or most shows that are Rated TV-MA. Unless they are 16 or 17 years or older, then it would be most Appropriately Educational. I was speaking, of course, in reference to the show, Family Guy, which is Rated TV-14 in the response to past letters. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Genuinely hand-drawn===
{{Email|From: Kevin Sevakis <kerosenedreams77@gmail.com>
Hey, CWC.
If you put the words of the comic on the computer, why don't you just color the comic on the computer, too?}}
{{EmailReply|Then it would not be Genuinely Hand-Drawn or Hand-Colored; few examples of Fan Art that were Obviously Computer-Drawn are not as good as Original Hand-Drawn/Colored creations.}}

===Blake has a very deep individual===
{{Email|From: kawaiinamine32@aol.com

Good day, Mr. Chandler. I have a few questions for you... 1) Seeing one of your answers from [[Mailbag 19]], I have to ask, Do you really think of or see people with Asperger's Syndrome as "Competing Retards"? 2) What the hell is up with [[Blake|Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake]]!? (He started out as a badass, now he's just pathetic...) 3) Is Sonichu really aimed towards children? (from all the pages I've read, it would be, at least TV MA...too mature for children.)}}
{{EmailReply|Competing, yes; Retards, no. He is not pathetic; he has a very deep individual. Yes, it is meant to be TV-Y7 FOR CHILDREN.}}

===Chris and web design===
{{Email|From: alphard@conexao-br.net

Hey, CWC.

I've heard that you're pretty good with HTML, so...
 What do you think about HTML5 and CSS3?
 Do you often use XHTML?
 And do you follow the W3C specifications correctly? }}
{{EmailReply|I only know basic HTML; the new stuff is NEW to me.}}

===Magi-Chan knows when you fuck===
{{Email|From: hyle.19@gmail.com

Dear Chris,

Why are homosexual women morally superior to homosexual men? If it is because of the book of Leviticus, would you also support the exile of a couple who have sexual relations while the woman is menstruating? (Leviticus 20:18) Does [[Cwcville]] have sex laws? How are these laws enforced?

Yours, Caitlin}}
{{EmailReply|Cwcville has sex laws; the age of consent is 18, and NO GAY SEX IS ALLOWED WHATSOEVER. These laws are enforced by constant psychic-surveillance by Magi-Chan Sonichu. Should anyone go against these laws, Magi-Chan would know, inform the Police, arrest the individuals, tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service to ANY Sexual Violations; over-18 having sex with under-18, and Any homosexual relations. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Lies and damned lies===
{{Email|From: Zoie Klaus <gatsbysdeaddream@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Why don't you ever offer well-thought out answers to the questions you are asked? It seems that people put a lot of effort into their questions, but you only spend a minute (or less) answering each. Do you really think that's fair to your fans? It's not like you're very busy or anything, or have thousands of questions to answer. Don't you think you owe your fans a little bit more?

-Zoie}}
{{EmailReply|I give each letter over 2 minutes of reading, re-reading and thought. Should a letter perplex me heavily, I would give an acceptable reply, granted it being short. But mostly, I go detailed.}}

===In which Chris crosses yet another line===
{{Email|From: Frank Marks <marksizm15@yahoo.com>

What if the girl(or guy) you want to take your virginity doesn't want to be videotaped? Not everyone goes for that. And you seem to be more concerned with proving that you're straight than the pleasure you would get from having sex. And you didn't answer that one guy's question about asexual people.

Frank Marks}}
{{EmailReply|I would use Hidden Cameras and blur out her face. It is very important to me, because I am SICK and TIRED of the Wrongest Mislabelings those damn people dare refer to me and my comics and characters. WE ARE STRAIGHT!!!! I have no objections with asexual, but I do feel pity for those individuals.}}
''The earlier question about asexuality can be found [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|here]]. Chris altered it the night these answers went up, copy-pasting the answer found here.''

===Fqx news===
{{Email|From: Jorge Lopez <fuzziwuzzi80@yahoo.com>
In [[Mailbag 28]], you say you respected Bush because "he made some good decisions." Please elaborate on this. What decisions did he make that you thought were good (and why were they good, in your opinion)?}}
{{EmailReply|His [[Wikipedia:Jobs and Growth Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2003|Tax Cut]] program was a good idea; more money for us locals. His [[Wikipedia:No Child Left Behind|No Child Left Behind]] plan was good too; no child left Uneducated. And he helped the [[Wikipedia:Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act|Medicare]] very well. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===Return of the king===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]] <king.stephen@windowslive.com>
I never wrote a novel called Vertigo. I did write the other novels you mentioned, though. But those were a long time ago. I used to be famous once - not anymore though. My novels don't sell a tenth of the copies they used to. Can't you see that I am desperate? I used to drink and do drugs when I couldn't write. This helped me in the 80s, but I won't do that anymore. I feel like my head is going blank, like there's an empty area where my creativity used to be.

Even in the best of times, I was never the greatest writer in the world. You are not the best either. But AT LEAST you have the passion and raw potential. And creativity. I just... don't seem to have that anymore. Funny. I never knew it was there until it was gone. Ideas just used to come to me, you know? Now, no matter how hard I try... nothing. Nothing comes out. I stare at the blank screen for HOURS, and I don't get a single idea. I spend more and more time on the internet. One day, I stumbled upon your site. It was something new and refreshing. I saw that you upload a new page EVERY DAY. I was amazed at such efficiency. You don't know how lucky you are to have so many ideas.

I asked you for help, but you gave me skepticism. I shouldn't be surprised though. This has happened to me before. Some time ago, I went into a book store in Australia unannounced, and started signing some of my books. The people there thought I was a VANDAL.

Here's a link on the incident: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/08/16/2006725.htm

I hope you see that I am the true and honest (as you say) Stephen King.

God bless, and I wish you all the best.

Stephen Edwin King.}}
''Chris added a reply template to this letter, but failed to actually answer it.''

===Patti's tortured soul persists===
{{Email|From: takemybythehand2@aol.com

So is [[Patti]] a ghost or a zombie in the comic? because she's dead, yet she's still talking to people, so is she a ghost or zombie?}}
{{EmailReply|She is Neither; she is alive and well in Cwcville, VA.}}

===Chris tackles the hard issues===
{{Email|From: jackleapps@aol.com

What's your stance on the immigration issues in America?}}
{{EmailReply|We are all immigrants from when the settlers first came into what would be the United States of America; I feel the issues are unrequited stressors that we simply do not need at all to fret over.}}
==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris hypothetically murders someone===
{{Email|From: J D <jdrexcess@gmail.com>

Hi Chris, I'm a big fan of your work, and I share your views on homosexuality-- a topic which seems to pop up frequently in the mailbag.

A friend of mine recently posed me a moral question, which I thought was pretty interesting: If you could save the life of a person you didn't know by having gay sex, would you do it? It's an interesting moral dilemma. Personally, I couldn't think of anything more repulsive in the world than having gay sex, but to save the life of a random person, I might actually do it. But I haven't quite made up my mind. How would you respond to this question? Would you have gay sex to save someone's life? Of course, this is a hypothetical situation and would probably never happen in real life, but I'm curious as to how you'd deal with it?

JD}}
{{EmailReply|UGH!!! I would find a way to Trick the other and work around to save the person. NO GAY SEX!!!!!!!!!}}

===Chris does not atone===
{{Email|From: creampie4sonichu@aol.com

hello mr chandler my is [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VII|rufus shinra]] and me and me fellow gay associates find sonicu to be a BIG testament to the gay community. We just love the way you lace each of your comics with gay tributes and etc. One thing that we really love is how you protray [[sonichu]] as a man struggling with his sexuality. On the outside he is "happily" married to [[rosechu]] but on the inside he is ready to come out. We have already figure out sonichus secret gay lover is [[Magi-Chan|magichan]] sonichu i mean magichan is purple (one of us gays most fabolous colors) he has no woman and he is mysterious. we can wait till you make sonichu and magichan and offical couple on your pages. Oh yeah me and my friend would like to invite you and another person to our gay club where we are going to have a sonichu theme party. We are going to pay your way here cause it would be a honor to have the man who made sonichu to be here. Who knows you might just find your significant other at this party. Once again thanks for makin sonichu for us gays to enjoy. }}
{{EmailReply|YOU ARE IN MAJOR ERROR!!! SONICHU IS STRAIGHT!!! AND MY COMIC SERIES IS A STRAIGHT COMIC SERIES!!! I DO NOT ATONE TO YOUR LETTER AND YOUR MISTAKEN EMOTIONS AT ALL!!!
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:08, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

===God and Jesus have not yet told Chris to give it a rest===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]] <silentbughunters@yahoo.co.uk>

What the hell is with the whole idea of brainwashing homosexuals into being straight? It isn't a choice for them, it's not like they woke up one morning and said "You know what? I feel like bumming a fellow male today and see if I like it!" It's who they are and they can't help that! The whole idea of forcing them into something they are not is just wrong! It would be like if someone rounded up everyone who had any form of autism and put them into a mental institution. What gives you the right to change other people into something they aren't?

The hell is wrong with you?

-Trevor

P.S. You didn't bother answering the part of my previous email which asked you what you would think [[GodJesus|God and Jesus]] would think of your death threat to [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].}}{{EmailReply|I do not personally have the right, but I highly encourage Other People who are able to do that to do that to their fullest power. I have received no opinion on that video from God or Jesus as far as I know.}}

===Asperchu is the shit===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>

Christian,

Thank you for accepting myself as a fellow Titan in the ranks of comic drawing! It is good to know that I have reached the top rank. I am currently in talks with the fellows on the Cartoon Network to possibly do a series of ASPERCHU-based short cartoons (3-5 minutes) that will air during their Adult Swim Broadcast; telling them that you have given me the Blessing as a Professional Artist will speed up the talks most certainly. Thank you as well for providing such a detailed answer to my question. I confess that You have confused me greatly. You say several things that make me wonder what it is you mean, and I would like if you can clarify.

For example, You say the sentence "[[Aspergers]] supposed being similar to Autism, which although I have accepted that, I still disagree heavily on it being even ASSOCIATED with Autism as a type. Aspergers is NOT a Type Of Autism Whatsoever." Now, in the first part of that sentence, you say that you have accepted that the Aspergers is similar to the Autism, but in the next several words you say that Aspergers is NOT related to Autism. Your sentence has two parts, which each contradict the other.

In another part of your response, You say that "I accept no relation between [Asperchu] and my works and characters, and with that I stand behind my statement of and labeling of Asperchu as a Parody." Now, this confuses me because a parody by definition is RELATED to its parent work, as parody is a deliberate imitation of the work on which it is based, yet you say that my ASPERCHU is not at all related to your Sonichu. That is true - My ASPERCHU is in fact my own ORIGINAL creation and not in any way related to your Sonichu. But then only several words after admitting this, you say that you stand behind your belief that ASPERCHU is a parody of Sonichu. I do believe that perhaps you do not have the good understanding of just what a Parody really is, and my attempt to show you through drawing an actual parody page has failed.

Please clarify both of these statements, Christian, as as they are now it seems you are trying to have two outcomes that are the Mutually Exclusive be true in each one of them, which of course is not possible. Either Aspergers is related to Autism or it is not (IT IS), and Either ASPERCHU is a Parody of Sonichu or it's not (it is NOT).

Also, I do have one last point to query about. You remark that I have made ASPERCHU into a "blatant homosexual male with such drawings of such dictation". I am confused by this, as I have NEVER drawn ASPERCHU to be making any dictations (by which I mean speaking, as that is the definition of the word) about being a homosexual; in fact throughout the Issues of the Comic he has pursued several GAL-PALS to make into a SWEETHEART, which is the heterosexual thing to be doing. In fact, you should read the conclusion of the latest Issue, as he does in fact acquire a sweetheart, the wonderful, caring, sweetest Dixie Chu. Perhaps your critical eye sees something in my Creation that I Myself did not notice putting in there, but to me ASPERCHU has always been a beacon of Heterosexual Virility and Pride. Conversely, you have yourself drawn Sonichu as being of the Homogay persuasion quite frequently, such as whenever Sonichu has intimations with his Boyfriend Rosechu, and also the Most Blatant Example is when you drew that Graphically Hardcore honeymoon comic where you had Sonichu turn blue and make sweet passionate love to that redheaded fellow.

So please, be so kind as to explain these quandaries to a wondering mind such as mine.

Your Protege and Bestest Joy-Boy,

Alec Benson Leary}}
[[Image:AsperchuNoHomo.JPG|thumb|The drawing Chris refers to.]]
{{EmailReply|I have NEVER given you such an Outrageous Blessing to work with Adult Swim. DO NOT DO IT, PERIOD! I was saying that the two, Autism and Aspergers, have Similar Characteristics, but the two are NOT Linked to each other At All and Whatsoever. By the Relation link comment, I meant that I wanted nothing to do with Asperchu. And IT IS A GOD DAMN PARODY; You draw a Look-Alike Sonichu Character with a Look-Alike Sonichu Medallion, and you DRAW your character with a Striped Shirt like the one I draw myself in often, and you draw him with FATTNESS and MANBOOBS!!!! I FIND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT OFFENSIVE AS THEY ARE MOCKERIES TO MY OWN PERSON AND CHARACTERS. AND What about THIS DRAWING?

YOU Personally Submitted this drawing, which the original letter FROM YOU is in the [[Rejected Mailbag#Parodies|Parodies]] Mailbag, and EVERYTHING WITHIN THIS GOD DAMN DRAWING ONLY MAKES YOUR ASPERCHU A GOD DAMN BLATANT HOMOSEXUAL.

You are STILL SO GOD DAMN HOMOSEXUALLY STUPID!!!

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:24, 5 January 2010 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 30

2011-08-09T18:13:11Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 30''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] 31 [[December 2009]]. [[Chris]] responded to it on 1 [[January 2010]].

None of his answers were half as interesting as the fact that he decided to advertise [[My Coke Rewards|Coke]] at the top of the page, making it clear that Chris has no idea how advertising works. Highlights of this mailbag include Chris assuming nonsense about how great a father he'd be, and playing along with a [[troll]] pretending to be [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]]. He also reveals that he is under the impression that [[homos|gayness]] can be ''caught'', and probably also ''[[sonichu_10|cured]]'', much like the common cold.

==Answered==
===ACCIDENTALLY CRACK the parental lock code===
{{Email|From: hurdygurdy@doglover.com

Dear Chris

You completely ignored my question. If children are "channel surfing" and viewing adult programming, I am assuming they have cable. Therefore it is the parents' responsibility to lock those channels. Maybe your parents were bad parents and let you watch soft porn on HBO when you were sixteen but I lock those channels from my children. My children will never unlock them because they are well behaved. Only badly behaved spoiled brats would unlock cable to watch porn.

You have still failed to explain why Sonichu and Rosechu allow their children to watch unsuitable adult shows. Like I asked - and I want a straight answer this time - who explains to a three year old what pedophilia is?

I stand by my claim that Sonichu and Rosechu are bad parents and their children should go into care until you prove how letting children watch unsuitable adult programming is beneficial for them.}}
{{EmailReply|Children are going to Channel Surf and ACCIDENTALLY land on adult content, EVEN as far as to CRACK THE Parental Lock Code on the Cable/Satellite Box and [[Mass debating#Discovery|turn on Cinemax Late Night]] at worst. Sonichu and Rosechu, as Responsible Parents, are making sure of preventing such times by lightly introducing such topics with lighter shows like [[Family Guy]] so the children will know better.}}

===Sneezing spreads the gay===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Doctor Who| Davros Skaledthal]] <fromskarowlove@aol.co.uk>

Greetings, Mister Chandler. My name is Davros Skaledthal. I am a geneticist, and I have a few questions after reading the latest issue of Sonichu. I deeply enjoy your comic, and especially the portrayal of Cwcville as a utopia. Every man should have a place to call his own, don't you agree?

First off, though, may I say how inspiring it is that you manage to make a high-quality page nearly every day. It must be incredibly taxing on you, but you seem to be coping admirably. Now, as to the questions.

1. You say that there is a 'gay gene' that can be cured. How exactly does this cure work, and which chromosome is said gay gene attached to?

2. As you have said in a previous mail post, you understand the basics of how evolution works. I'm not expecting you to discuss it at doctorate level of course, but as you know, a gene that is not used or is recessive does not transfer to the next generation. How then is the gay gene transmitted? Obviously every gay man or woman has two heterosexual parents, therefore the gay gene is not represented in either of them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I know this is asking rather much from you, so I apologize in advance, but would you please elaborate on each of these questions with at least one full sentence? If not, I completely understand. Genius must do as genius must.

Thank you for your time, Mister Chandler.

Eagerly awaiting your response, Davros Skaledthal}}
{{EmailReply|1) It is neutrally attached to an X Chromosone. 2) It can be spread through such methods as Blood or Organ Transfusion, or there may be a slim, yet present, chance in spreading it through bodily liquid exchange such of which is sneezing.}}

===In which Chris plays along===
{{Email|From: [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] <meggriffin@quahog.com>

Why don't you come down to Quahog? We got, like, an animation fest coming up! You could come participate, show off your Sonichu and stuff, and, uhh... meet with me ;)

Meg Griffin.}}
{{EmailReply|LOL Obviously the person who sent this is playing off of my idea for the episode of Family Guy where I would guest star. Playing along... I will take that under great consideration, and there is a good chance. ;)}}

===In which Chris doesn't take shit under great consideration===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jim Lee|Jim Lee]]

Hi, Chris! This is Jim Lee! I'm a professional comic artist who's worked for DC, Marvel, and Image!

Sorry about not including my email, but I'm a very busy man and I just barely have time to get in a few kind words for a budding young talent. Some of my friends have linked me comic pages you've done and I have to say you're doing extremely well for a kid your age! Most eight-year-olds don't have the focus for one comic's worth of material, let alone several hundred pages' worth! That shows a great deal of dedication!

You've got a long way to go, but don't we all? I'm 45, I've been drawing comics professionally since I was 25, and I still feel like greatness is just ahead of me. I've won the Harvey Special Award and drew the best-selling comic issue in history, but I can't let that get to me. If I ever slow down or give in to temptation to slack off, I'll squander all the goowill and fandom I've got, and I can't let that happen. With a couple more decades under your belt, you can stand alongside the greats with pride.

Just a few tips: 1) Get used to drawing your own characters, not just Sonic in different colors. It's nice to draw for comics you love, but you've got to show you can create your own characters too. 2) Don't just imitate your favorite artists' style, try and find your own. 3) Draw from life, every day; draw every day, period! Last, don't forget to look up some really good book on how-to-draw; I recommend "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain," "Drawing Comics the Marvel Way!", and "Making Comics" by Scott McCloud. Those are great books and they'll teach you a lot about how the pros do it.

Keep reaching for the dream, Chris!

--Jim Lee}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you, Jim. I will take all that under great consideration.}}

===Chris quit guzzling cum===
{{Email|From: adam roa <adamroa@hotmail.com>
Hello Christian.

I have two questions. Firstly, I appreciate the level of detail and emotion you bring to the action scenes in the Sonichu comic. From panel to panel it's always a thrill-ride and I can barely contain myself as a reader. When I think back at how many memorable and exhilarating fight scenes have taken place over the years, I am overwhelmed and awe-struck. Such brilliant action, such incredible pacing, such sublime storytelling. So my first question is this: Which fight scene is your personal favorite? I must confess, I most enjoy the battle in issue 5... "*Lock-On* *Fire Blast + Flamethrower* Yikes! Sweet! Pffft... What the flame happened?"

And my second question is, do you still drink your own [[semen]]?

Thanks for keeping on,

Adam}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, thank you for your support. And second, I do not.}}

===FUCK YEAH BILL===
{{Email|From: [[Bill The Scientist]] <billthescientist@hotmail.co.uk>
Hey CWC,

Bill the Scientist here,as well as the [[Boulder Dropping Whale]] and [[Yawning Squirtle]].

We have legions of fans and we feel that we should have our own series of comics, or if not, at least we should feature more in the Sonichu comics. Ask your fanbase, we're the most popular characters!

We hope you consider this suggestion,
Sincerely,
Bill the Scientist}}
{{EmailReply|No Comment.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Stan (song)|Stan]] 'Sonichu's Biggest Gay Fan' [[Wikipedia:The Marshall Mathers LP|Mathers]] <myteasgonecold@didomail.com>

Dear Chris,

I wrote but you still ain't callin! I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not have got 'em... There probably was a problem with the hosting provider or something? Sometimes I type addresses too sloppy when I post 'em...

But anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man, do you still "hate" us homos? My boyfriend wants us to adopt a kid, I'm about to be a gay father! If we adopt a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Rosey!

I read about your fan Ryan Cash, I'm sorry. I had a gay friend kill himself over some dude who didn't want him...

I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your Biggest Gay Fan! I even watched that hilarious rap that you did for Parappa. I got a room full of home-made posters with your drawings, man. I like the shit you did with LBP, too, that shit was phat!

Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your Biggest Gay Fan,

This is Stan.}}
{{EmailReply|Give It Up, JackAss; '''I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER. As for your question, you do what you want.}}

===In which Chris rejects excellent advice for the Nth time.===
{{Email|From: Jacob N. <jacob_n333@yahoo.com>

Good day, Chris!

"You are asking me to take Wild's girlfriend and Sweetheart away from him. Do not be such a monster." I'm afraid that he's in the right, Chris. You're experiencing what many comic companies suffer--what you might call "rights syndrome." When you use someone else's character, they still have the rights to that character, and what they say, goes. If you make any permanent changes to the character, you must get permission, and if the rights holder wants you to kill off or retire that character, you must.

This is why "shared universes" are so difficult to manage. Because [[Evan|Evang-y]] created [[Simonchu]], he has the right to withdraw him from the setting. Seeing as how you also changed Simonchu's gender without permission, that's already a strike against you. You should fulfill your obligation as writer and creator and listen to Evang-y. This happens all the time. There's no easy fix, either. You should also be thankful that Evang-y has allowed you to keep Simonchu/"Simonla's" previous appearances, because otherwise you would have to redraw and rewrite those comics to exclude Simonla if he just wanted her retconned out!

As for Wild losing his "sweetheart," don't look at it as him "losing a sweetheart," but you gaining a whole metric ton of storytelling opportunities! Hardship and difficulty is the backbone of storytelling. [[Sonichu 10|You could devote an entire issue to the story of Simonla's final battles and death,]] [[Sonichu 10#The_Final_Countdown|then whole issues afterward about the aftermath of the event, especially Wild's reaction.]] The Sonichu comics are lacking in any sort of pathos. Comic-Chris doesn't seem to care a bit about his various sweethearts being killed or leaving, the entire team has forgotten about Crystal, and even Blake being raped by Silvana has been glossed over. ([[Lovely Weather|Having sex with someone under false pretenses, e.g. posing as someone they love even though they're not, is most definitely a rape]].) Wild's true love being killed isn't something you can just gloss over. It will allow for all kinds of character growth and change--storytelling gold! Don't think of it as being "a monster" to Wild, think of it as tough love to make him better as a character.

I like my characters too, but it's not entertaining at all if the only changes that happen to them are for the better. Every character is defined as much, if not more, by loss than by gain, by their weaknesses as much as their strengths. If Peter Parker hadn't used his superhuman talents for petty gain, his uncle wouldn't have died; it's his grief over his uncle's death and shame over his selfishness that motivates him into becoming one of the greatest superheroes of all time, Spider-Man. It's his constant struggle between selfish gain and the greater good that makes him so entertaining, so fascinating, so well-rounded a character. When people try to make him less complex and more happy, as with the One More Day fiasco, it backfires dreadfully. You shouldn't be afraid to put your characters through the wringer... and in this case, you don't really have a choice, do you?

Good day to you, Chris.

--Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky of the Cherokee Nation}}
{{EmailReply|I will continue to do my work as I see fit.}}

===Chris is rubber, you are glue===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

What's it like not having a conscience? It's pretty obvious that you're [[Chris and remorse|incapable of feeling guilt or remorse]] or even empathizing with other people. You drew pornography of your best friend, published it on the internet to prove some stupid point or affirm your manliness, and you only felt bad because Megan Schroeder stopped talking to you afterwards. You only befriend women because you want to have sex with them (some people would call this "nice guy" syndrome, but I think that it speaks to something much darker). And it's quite evident you're more interested in finding a woman to mooch off of when your parents die than entering into a relationship out of love. You're incapable of love because you only love yourself.

For somebody with "autism" you sure don't know a lot about it. I mean, you get basic facts about the disorder wrong, and become infuriated when people try to correct you. For starters, "High-functioning autism" isn't a formal diagnosis, and Asperger's Syndrome and autism are on the same spectrum. I think you found out about autism sometime in your teens and started using it as an excuse for your immaturity, lack of empathy, selfishness and disturbed behavior, and took the scam further in adulthood by getting disability money out of it. People with autism recognize they have limitations and get help to overcome or work around those limitations. Despite their autism they put forth effort to survive in a world they do not understand.

Autistic people don't run over small animals repeatedly and call it "the highlight of their day." Autistic people don't try to impersonate a woman's boyfriend and lure that woman to their home so they can rape them. Autistic people don't go around saying they want to force sex on their pastoral counselor. Autistic people don't steal their elderly parents' credit cards to finance their video game addiction. Autistic people don't commit fraud by purchasing Guitar Hero track packs from stores, using the codes to download the content, and then returning them for a refund or selling them on eBay, which is fraud. And they certainly don't brag about it in YouTube videos. Where did that big TV in your room come from, Chris? Did you steal that, too?

You constantly talk about murder and death in your videos. You fired up the video camera on Christmas Day to record more death threats. You suggest that people kill themselves because you don't like them. You sing along to Insane Clown Posse, (which is disturbing since you're almost 30) a group that makes light out of gruesome murder. You gave a "shout out" to the Columbine killers. And don't pretend you don't know who they are, you were enrolled in high school at the time of the massacre and there's no way you couldn't have heard about it, no matter how sheltered you were. And these are things you've done over the past few weeks.

The whole "Sonichu" thing and you acting like a bumbling, ignorant manchild is just an act, right? No 27-year-old would wear a cartoon medallion out in public and dress up like a mentally retarded person and film themselves playing house with Legos. This is an obvious charade: faking autism as an excuse for your horrific behavior and for disability money so you can sit in a room full of toys and play video games all day, and your only goal in life is finding a woman (or a guy) you can exploit sexually and financially. Doing what you're doing is extremely offensive to people who actually have autism and don't act anything like you. You obviously don't give a shit about them since you refuse to associate with anyone with autism, possibly out of a fear of getting caught.

I think you're a psychopath, Christian Weston Chandler, and the fact that you will once again avoid responsibility for your actions by refusing to read or answer this will only confirm my suspicions.

Have a nice day,

Sean August Watley}}
{{EmailReply|Obviously, You have YOUR OWN PROBLEMS, and you are only trying to pin them onto me. I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 29

2011-08-09T18:12:27Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 29''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 31 [[December 2009]]. In an attempt to get [[Chris]] to man up, this mailbag is literally just the 13 letters Chris [[Rejected Mailbag#Let Me Get Back To You On That|promised to answer eventually]].

Chris apparently noticed that he had already rejected the majority of these questions midway through answering them, and copied them back into his Let Me Get Back To You On That mailbag. Because Chris is an HONEST, CARING, TRUE, LOYAL, STRAIGHT, HUMAN MALE, he answered most of these questions with "Whatever."

==Answered==
===In which Chris loses his mind===
{{Email|From: orangepie@hotmail.com
Hey Chris, I've got a question.

Is prostitution legal in CWCville? In most of the US it's illegal and
I feel that this is an unfair law. Prostitution is legal in parts of
Nevada and Rhode Island, and as you can see on Family Guy, Rhode
Island isn't falling apart nor is it a cesspool.

Are there brothels in CWCville? Perhaps you could add a friendly pimp
or madam character who hooks all the virgins up with boyfriend free
prostitutes if they're too nervous to meet an actual girlfriend.

I'm really interested as to what you think of this matter.

Sincerely,
A fan}}
{{EmailReply|I have read your question a few days ago, and I have considered it greatly with input from my trusted associates. Prostitution is legal in Cwcville, VA, with the Detail for that if the person requesting the service is a Virgin, then those individuals would be directed to the "pimp" and "madam" characters who would hook him/her up with a CLEAN Woman/Man, respectively. The pimp and madam would be held responsible for medical checks for their prostitutes before lending them to the person, and for the Virgins, their first-time fee is SET for Ten Dollars, period, for up to one whole hour. And beforehand, a short half-hour seminar on what to do for first-timers in positions, premature ejaculation preventions, full kissing and such bare introductory essentials. Knowledge is Power, after all.}}

===Whatever===
{{Email|From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com
This will be my last email.

In response to me "letting myself go" in my messages to you, I have not. I am upset and hurt by the things you have said to me, yes, because you are saying disturbing, rude, hurtful, non-Christian things with no regard for anyone but yourself. However, I have never threatened you nor have I attacked you. I can't say the same for you: you typically have let anger get the best of you, and have threatened to kill Clyde Cash and that impostor (even drew a comic where you shot him with a gun!) many, many times. I've seen the videos and so has my Bible group. Jesus and the Bible taught us that wrath is a deadly sin, Chris, and I am saddened that They could not teach you the same as evidenced by you stomping around on camera like a spoiled toddler and threatening to break people dead. Shame on you.

I would say, once again, that even though sex is a "natural" act, it is not an act that should be done before an audience. God intended sex to be between one man and one woman and no more, not two pornographic actors and an audience, nor is it meant to be done for reasons other that procreation.

However, there is no point in discussing the Bible with you when it is clear that you have never read the whole Bible and will not listen to those who have when it criticizes how you live (remember what you said about criticism? well you're a naive hypocrite for not being able to swallow you own medicine, which is shocking, since I hear you're able to swallow much harsher, saltier stuff). In one video, you say Family Guy taught you about Leviticus. You're, what, 25 years old, and you had never read Leviticus until some sinful cartoon show that takes the Lord's name in vain taught you about it? It's hard to believe you're that naive and I pity you.

I ask only that you do not pray for me. I do not wish to be dragged into Hell with you (and that's where you go for breaking God's law, the Holy Bible). You have lost a fan in me, you have lost fans in my church, but saddest of all, you have lost a fan in God and Jesus. I pray for you.}}
{{EmailReply|Whatever.}}

''On 1 January 2010, Chris elaborated on this with the following:''

{{EmailReply|I have read through your message, and really, I am stumped on a fair response to your ranting. All I see when I read your messages is a whiney little b****, who has YET to open her mind to the world's and life's True Delights of life. God and Jesus want us to live our lives happily and healthily with some love. And if you can not see that, or even TRULY Open Your Heart, then my neutral response to you is simply, '''Whatever'''.}}

===In which Chris is an asshole===
{{Email|From: Eddie Berganza <berganzadc@gmail.com>
Hello Chris-

My name is Eddie Berganza, and I work in the American comic industry. Your comic "Sonichu" was recently brought to my attention by an intern at my company and I viewed your recent videos on Youtube pitching the concept to "business people." As someone with years of experience in dealing with copyrighted characters, I feel like I need to let you know of some problems I see with you trying to sell your Sonichu character.

Sonichu's creation, in the comics you present, involves two characters who are owned by other companies: Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog are owned by Nintendo and Sega, respectively. Do you have the full written consent of Nintendo and Sega to use their characters? I understand you believe Sonichu himself is an original character, but the fact that a key part of his story infringes on other companies' copyrights makes it virtually IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to get in business with you. I suggest you change Sonichu's origin story to not involve characters you do not have the rights to.

That you continue to refer to him as a Pokemon also presents a problem. Referencing Pokemon and using characters from that franchise in your own Sonichu franchise is an INFRINGEMENT ON NINTENDO'S POKEMON COPYRIGHT. As just a fan product, this is fine, but your efforts to sell Sonichu into other forms of media and make money off it puts you and anyone who would do business with you at legal risk. As I have come to understand Sonichu, I have to tell you that Sonichu can NEVER BE USED FOR PROFIT under current copyright law. You are pulling in too many characters and concepts from other franchises (Sonic the Hedgehog, Power Rangers, Transformers, Pokemon, to name just a few) to claim your series is fully original.

I am sorry if this news disappoints you. I see a lot of young artists who are naive about copyright law make the same mistakes. Hopefully, you will learn from them and develop a new concept that you will be able to make money on some day. You have a lot of talent for a special needs child and I look forward to seeing the kind of art you produce when you grow up and become an adult. Good luck!}}
{{EmailReply|Who do you think you are, PRETENDING TO BE someone in the Comic Industry to DRAG ME DOWN WITH YOUR BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I am not buying your false identity.}}

===In which Chris lies about how much he can run===
{{Email|From: Kevin Thompson <bumperrabbit92@gmail.com>
Chris, I viewed your recent running video and a couple of thoughts sprang to mind.

According to a map, you ran 579 metres. This took you four minutes. You stopped five times. This means to run the full five miles (roughly 8 kilometres) you claim to run each day would take you 60 minutes and include 80 rest breaks. That is a very poor effort indeed.

Have you been lying to us, and if I were to propose and draw you out a five mile course would you run, and film, the entire event to prove to us your running ability?

Sincerely,

Dr. Kevin Thompson}}
{{EmailReply|Run, Yes. Film, No, because it was difficult enough before, and my battery life in my camera is VERY FICKLE.}}

===Chris on wackin' it===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com
I think you're a great drawer and writer, but there are things that bug me still.

While it's true that gayness is condemned in the Bible, so are using condom and masturbating, which you all support. You can't be a good Christian if you accept those.

Also, I think there are way too many similarities with Sonichus and Sonic the Hedgehog. Doesn't that violate any copyright laws?

Also, I find it insulting that there are no members of minorities as important characters. You should fix this.}}
{{EmailReply|I support condom usage, but I never said I supported masturbation; I do that to RELIEVE THE STRESS once in a while from my crappy lonliness. NO, IT DOES NOT VIOLATE ANY LAWS; IT IS CALLED A PARODY, D.A. The Pok'emon are considered a minority, but I give them Equal Rights.}}

===THAT HOLE===
{{Email|From: Super Woyzeck <superwoyzeck@hotmail.co.uk>
Dear Christain

I have some issues I would like clarification upon:

1. This may seem like an odd question, but how in Sonichu canon do you expect Sonichu and Rosechu to die? Feel free to not answer the question if it is relevent to a future plot point, but if not, it would be interesting to know what the life expectancy of the Sonichus is.

2. Do Rosechus go through the menopause?

3. Are Sonichus and Rosechus different species? If not, what is the collective term for the species?

4. Do Sonichus and Rosechus base physical attraction on colour? There appears to be little or no physical difference between Sonichus other than their colour which is confusing enough, but they all have identical beliefs and similar personalities. Are all Sonichus and Rosechus sexually attracted to one another? If not, how do they pair up?

5. What do Sonichus eat? Do they hunt animals or do they eat grass?

6. Do all Sonichus have the same "job" - protecting CWCville - or are some of them in other industries? I imagine one Sonichu could probably power the whole of CWCville constantly. Is it possible for Sonichus to "tap into" their powers to use their natural electicity as a source of cheap power?

7. If Sonichus create electricity, does that mean that they have to eat more frequently than Sonic? Do they give off heat or any other natural by-product of power production? How eco-friendly is a Sonichu?

8. When a Sonichu's penis is flaccid and retracted into their abdomen, are they identical to Rosechus? Surely all they must have visible on the outside is a little slit. Do Sonichus ever mistake each other for Rosechus?

By the way, I liked the ending of Sonichu 9. It was very moving.
From
Woyzeck (a big f***ing fan).}}
{{EmailReply|1) No Comment. 2) No, they do not go through Menopause. 3) That is like asking the same question about the Pok'emon, Tauros and Miltank; Pok'emon are Pok'emon. 4) Sonichus and Rosechu are sexually attracted to each other; The Male Sonichus with the Female Rosechus. 5) They eat mostly fruits and vegetation, with some meat as well. 6) They have other jobs respectively, those are yet to be determined at this time; keep reading. 7) No, they do not have to eat more. Yes they give off some heat. As eco-friendly as a Pikachu or Raichu. 8) No; the Rosechus have their Vaginal Opening on the underneath, like a human female; Sonichus DO NOT HAVE THAT HOLE.}}

===Whatever II: The coming storm===
{{Email|From: rschneider@socialworker.net
Hello Chris

My name is Robert Schneider and I'm a social worker.

I am writing to you to express my deep concern as regards to your family's well-being and more importantly the living conditions you live in. Having seen the tour of your house on youtube and knowing of your parents age I have to ask why have you not cleaned the property?

As a 28 year old seemingly healthy individual, the responsibility to clean up that household really does rest on your shoulders as most social care professionals would deem your mother and father incapable of doing it themselves due to their age and health.

As a friendly piece of advice Christian, I would clean that place out quickly or your parents could well face being put in a care home for the sake of their own good health. Not only this but given your Autism you could well be force to live in an environment more suited to your needs, depending on reassessment.

Please get back to me as this is a serious matter.

Rob.}}
{{EmailReply|Whatever.}}

''On 1 January 2010, Chris elaborated on this response with the following:''

{{EmailReply|Children are going to Channel Surf and ACCIDENTALLY land on adult content, EVEN as far as to CRACK THE Parental Lock Code on the Cable/Satellite Box and turn on Cinemax Late Night at worst. Sonichu and Rosechu, as Responsible Parents, are making sure of preventing such times by lightly introducing such topics with lighter shows like Family Guy so the children will know better.}}

===Whatever III: The glorious burden===
{{Email|From: Anthony R <anthony197930@hotmail.com>
Hello Chris,

I've been a Sonichu fan for a very long time, and I was greatly moved by your recent appeal for donations. I too do not like the content of the ads, and I was so moved, that I went ahead and sent a 1000 euro donation in order to take control of the ads. However, just as I was about to start commissioning for the new CWC-friendly ads, I saw your latest video.

Chris, let me be blunt when I say that while I despise the current ads, I despise animal abuse even more. That poor cat was showing several signs of abuse, and how you couldn't understand that you were holding the cat in a manner that was inducing pain to it is beyond me. I contacted the WikiSysop inquiring about a refund for my donation, and I just saw that the money has been restored into my account.

I may be persuaded to re-send the money if you make amends for your behavior. This could be done in the form of a video in which you beg for forgiveness from your cat. I also suggest that you never, ever hold your cat in such a fashion ever again. If you do these things, I might consider sending the money again. The ball is now in your court Chris.

Until next time, I bid you adieu.

-Anthony R.}}
{{EmailReply|Whatever.}}

''On 1 January 2010, Chris elaborated upon this response with:''

{{EmailReply|My cats love me; I do not hurt them; I treat them well with TLC and Respect; you are ignorant.}}

===Simonla must die===
{{Email|From: Evang7 <evang7@gmail.com>
Dear Christopher Christian Weston Chandler,

"Plus, Evang-y and I have come into an agreement on that in previous
discussions."

No we didn't. You blocked my e-mail address and didn't reply to anything I said.}}
{{EmailReply|Excuse Me.}}

===Copypasta===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, we can't look up the records. Some of us don't live in Virginia and I don't think it works that way to begin with.

And while the fans know that you are true and honest, they are vastly outnumbered by people who don't know anything about you and the trolls are more than willing to taint their opinions.

They won't take your word for it because the trolls have them convinced that you are lying.

Imagine that you have been told that someone is a liar. They then say they are not a liar. You can't take his word as proof of his supposed honesty because everyone else told you he was a chronic liar. Now, if he shows you undeniable physical proof that he's being honest, then the true liars(trolls) are exposed.

You need to do this soon, people are quitting after that incident in New York.}}
{{EmailReply|In response, I suggest you watch the animated classic, "The Bear That Wasn't".}}
''[[Wikipedia:The Bear That Wasn't|The Bear That Wasn't]] is a [[Wikipedia:Chuck Jones|Chuck Jones]] short from 1967. Chris apparently thinks it serves as a metaphor for his current situation. It can be watched [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq0a5JTSGvU here].''

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris sure hates homos===
{{Email|From: Demetrius Delicioso <malebuttfinder@live.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,
I am so pleased to see the success and views your CWCipedia gets regularly. I am also so proud to see that you have accepted advertising for Gay Rights. That's why I want you to be an advertising Partner of mine! I would like you to be another kind of Partner as well! ;)

I would like to propose that you sign a contract with my new gay dating agency based in Charlottesville. MaleButtFinder would love to pay you $1000 each month for ads on the CWCipedia!

Thanks,
Demetrius Delicioso}}
{{EmailReply|'''NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO... NO!!!!!!!!!''' I do not condone with your kind of "dating service". '''Straighten Out All Homosexual Males!!!''' --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 23:30, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===The KKK took my baby away===
{{Email|From: Herr Feldgrau <reichsmarschallfeldgrau@gmail.com>
Heil my white brother!

I was reading your comics and I find them to be a good representative
of white nationalist values. The overwhelming presence of whites in
your stories led me to believe that you would be sympathetic to our
cause. I was thinking that Sonichu stories would be a great way to
teach our beliefs to children. Would you be willing to give me
permission to use Sonichu in such an educational manner? I promise
full credit to you will be given on any work I may produce.

Blut und Ehre,
Herr Feldgrau}}
{{EmailReply|I do not support you K.K.K. Types Either.}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===Whatever IV: The final battle===
''For some reason, Chris moved this letter back to the LMGBTYOT page and then answered it. Chris is a wacky guy.''
{{Email|From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com>
This has to stop, Chris. You're calling people with Aspergers retarded when it is a much higher functioning mental handicap than you have. You're telling people to get a job when you sit around and do absolutely nothing every day. You're telling people to take criticism like a man when you make that fucking annoying stress sigh and ignore any you get. LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING?

Putting me in the rejected section (again) will prove what a spineless fuckup you are, I look forward to seeing this there.}}
{{EmailReply|Whatever.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 28

2011-08-09T18:11:40Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 28''' was uploaded by [[CWCipedia]]'s Sysop the 30 [[December 2009]] and it was answered by [[Chris]] the same day.

The most interesting letter in this mailbag consists wholly of Chris railing against Asperchu. In his response Chris calls Alec Benson Leary's incredible masterpiece a "[[parody]]" as though it's a horrible insult. This seems seems [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] considering his constant defending of [[Sonichu]] as a parody.

The only other notable response in this mailbag consists of Chris's amazing [[Homos|homophobia]] being being mixed with his equally amazing [[Niggos|racism]]. None of his other responses are longer than a single line of text, which makes his [[Mailbag 27#Is Chris Hitting on Bailey Jay?|astoundingly long response to the trap in the prior mailbag]] even ''more'' interesting.

==Answered==
===Chris the waterboy===
{{Email|From: toponehun@aol.com
Hey, I read somewhere that you were on your high school basketball team. What position did you play? I played guard and my younger brother was a water boy or "manager" as they called it. Yeah, that loser managed our dirty jock straps haha. Do you have any good basketball stories for you fans?}}
{{EmailReply|I was Manager of the Varsity Basketball Team.}}

===No comment===
{{Email|From: George King <anchornow53@yahoo.com>
Why exactly did you stop volunteering at the [[Pokemon]] League?}}

===And again===
{{Email|From: Scott Peters <awareofmytongue@yahoo.com>
In one video, you say you regularly watch porn. In another video, you quote Matthew 5:27-30. Do you realize that Matthew 5:28 specifically states that pornography is a sin? "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So do you follow the Bible and not watch pornography like a good Christian, or you the bad kind of Christian and views pornography and will be going to Hell for it?}}
{{EmailReply|No Comment.}}

===Technically, yes...===
{{Email|From: kaybear@mail.com
You're almost 28. Why do you think you are still a [[virgin]] at your age?}}
{{EmailReply|Because I still have not ever had sexual intercourse.}}

===Very thorough===
{{Email|From: looneysgovernments@post.com
Why did you like/respect George W. Bush?}}
{{EmailReply|He made some good decisions.}}

===Chris thinks of dudes kissing===
{{Email|From: Andrew Newberry <newbunkle@hotmail.co.uk>

Hi Chris, love the [[comic]]s.

I'm in an interracial relationship, and it hurts when people tell me I shouldn't marry the woman I love. I once heard a racist say that it would be ok to ban interracial marriage because it doesn't discriminate - anyone can get married, as long as its to a person of the same race.

Naturally I disagree with him and his sick, twisted thoughts. I know you would agree with me because you are part [[Cherokee]], isn't that right? So, it puzzles me that you would wish the same thing on other people just because of their natural-born god-given orientation.

Why do you hate America? I always thought you were patriotic, but you don't support equal rights for everyone. :(

One other thing. You've previously mentioned that you push homoerotic thoughts out of your head. Do you realise that straight people don't need to? They don't have those thoughts in the first place. Why do you think you have them?

Thanks

- Newbunkle}}
{{EmailReply|I have no disagreements with Interracial Relationships for other people (not myself). I Love America, and I support equal rights for everyone; on the note, I just Do Not Care for Homosexual Males. Because of the Trolls forcing the "Gay" Label onto me in their God Damned Mislabeling; They try to push me their way, and with that Forces random pictures of...UGH! their deeds and such to pop up.}}

===He's also going bald===
{{Email|From: Latrine Watson <latrinewatson@yahoo.com>
Hello Chris, long time fan of [[Sonichu]]. And you, you big sexy man. Unfortunately I find myself losing attraction to you and it's terrible. I love a man with a thick full head of hair but your forehead is getting bigger and bigger every day :( Your hairline is waaaay closer to the top of your head than the average 27 year old male's! Whatever you're doing to make your hair fall out please stop! Are you a smoker? All those filthy toxins cling to your hair and destroy your folicles. How is your diet? Do you drink a lot of soda? High fructose corn syrup is very fattening, and while I kind of find your chubby body type adorable, it is also known for stunting hair growth :( Also please stop using [[Axe]]. The people at Axe only care about scent. This means they have to skimp on quality elsewhere. Axe uses harsh soaps which destroy skin and hair cells! This is why some companies make unscented and dye-free soaps - you can't have everything. Please Chris, for your female fans, stop losing your hair! Oh yeah, smoking, soft drinks, and harsh soaps can also give you horrible acne. You have pretty bad acne too :( Please Chris, change your diet/smoking habits/cleaning products before you end up looking like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons!

<3 <3 <3
Latrine Watson}}
{{EmailReply|[[Tobacky|I HAVE NEVER SMOKED]], nor do I hang out with any smokers. I have plenty of [[hair]] to spare.}}

===He probably doesn't know what arsenic is===
{{Email|From: Tubular Monkey <tubularmonkey@gmail.com>
Dear Christian,

If a Sonichu dies, do they perform an autopsy? I'm curious about whether the [[Sonichus]] are treated like human beings after death. I know their bodies are different from ours. I guess what I'm asking is, would arsenic show up in the toxicology work after the Sonichu autopsy? Would the arsenic just get metabolized and become untraceable? If the arsenic IS metabolized, how long does that process take? There's just so much about Sonichu physiology that I don't know!

Sorry for all of the questions. I just have one more. What is Sonichu's favorite drink?

Thanks!

Your devoted fan,
TM}}
{{EmailReply|No Autopsy would be performed; there is NO Arsenic in my Electric-Hedgehogs Whatsoever. He likes sweet tea.}}

===Chris is okay with shemale cock===
{{Email|From "[[wikipedia: Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>

Oops uh..... I think I might have sent you the [[Mailbag_25#It.27s_a_trap.21|wrong link]] on one of those pics...

I hope I didn't bother you.... I just wanted to show you my best modelling pictures..

xox}}
{{EmailReply|It's okay.}}

===Chris is wholly unfazed by the loss of a TRUE and HONEST fan===
{{Email|From: Richard Firth <richard@firthy.com>
Dear Mr Chandler,

I have been a fan of yourself and Sonichu for many years now, but after seeing the recent comic pages where you shot the imposter in the legs and the latest videos on [[YouTube]] to [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]], I don't think I can support a man with such angry and violent thoughts. 
Nor would I want my children to be exposed to that kind of behaviour.

I wish you well in the future, but I can no longer be a fan of Sonichu.

-- Yours,

Mr Richard Firth }}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry to hear that.}}

===Hey kids, it's Asperchu!===
[[File:AsperchuParodyParty.jpg|thumb|Masterful satire.]]
{{Email|From: Alec-chan Asperchu <albasperchu@live.com>
Chrisitan, I wish to start by saying once again how much I respect you as an Artist and an Inspiration for my Creations, but your recent comment about my ASPERCHU really Grinds My Gears! I am disfortuned that you think my Aspergers is not True and Honest, which is what you suggest by suggesting that I know nothing about the [[Autism]]. I do have the Aspergers Papers; from work with my licensed psychotherapist who has years of working with children with developmental disorders (she is no pastoral councilor it is true, but she does the best she can) I have learned much about the Autism Spectrum.

Secondly, you remarked that ASPERCHU is a parody of your Sonichu, and of poor quality at that. Ignoring for the moment the rather rudeness of your statement that it is poor in quality (Some of us cannot afford Crayola Markers and many [[LittleBigPlanet]] downloads to use as tools for our creations Christian, some of us only have received enough christmas tugboat to buy Adobe CS4 and a Wacom Tablet to work with), I must let you know ONCE AGAIN that ASPERCHU is most certainly NOT a [[parody|parodic]] work. In fact, ASPERCHU is a True and Honest creation from my Sound Mind and Heart with strengths given from my many joy-boys, [[gal-pal]]s and my dearest sweetheart who all support me. However, I will extend the branch of olive and presume that it is possible you have simply confused it because you are not sure what a True Parody is (unlikely, but possible nonetheless). For the purpose of Extending your knowledge, I have included a new drawing which is a DELIBERATE and INTENTUAL parody, so as to set it apart from my ASPERCHU comics, which are Not parodies.

Please retract your statement, as it was very hurtful and rather petty of you. A great artist such as yourself has so many Fans that you surely must not feel threatened by the creations of an Up and Coming Aspiring artist such as me, who is also amassing a large following. There is room for more than One of us, Christian. Accept that another can enter your realm as a True and Mighty creator without having to lose your own stations.

With Honest Regards,

Alec Benson Leary}}
{{EmailReply|I will not disagree with you on that there can be more than one creator or fan artists. I said what I said, because of how I feel about Aspergers supposed being similar to Autism, which although I have accepted that, I still disagree heavily on it being even ASSOCIATED with Autism as a type. Aspergers is NOT a Type Of Autism Whatsoever. Plus, I have NO CARE for you making your Asperchu a blatant homosexual male with such drawings of such dictation, and I accept no relation between it and my works and characters, and with that I stand behind my statement of and labeling of Asperchu as a Parody.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:56, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris should try that to cure his homosexuality===
{{Email|From: manlyman@yahoo.com
Dear Chris, I am a big fan of yours. Today something very strange happened to me, and you are the only one I trust to help me. This morning, when I woke up, I was gay! I don't know what to do. All of the sudden I am no longer STAYING STRAIGHT. I tried to reprogram my brain with hypnosis and bought a [[Sailor Moon]] poster, but nothing is helping! What do I do?!}}
{{EmailReply|You do NOT just wake up being a homo. But, in your desperate time, I suggest hiring a clean, female prostitute and have sex with her.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===IRL trolling===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
Chris, how come you claim that I don't know you if you don't even know [[Megan]]? Tell me everything about her that we have not known about her. I know you - I know how that in [[1994]], you [[Christopher's name change|changed your name]] because some animatronic bear mispronounced it in [[1993]]. [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|It's in the newspaper.]] They also say you have the social intellect of a kid. Try telling me the opposite. I just know that you will [[lie]]. Come on. Lie to me. Curse to me. Curse me like you did [[Michael Snyder|Mike]], [[Mimms]], [[Mary]], and [[Bagget|Baggett]]. I happen to know a few of those people - they laugh at you. Why? You [[fail]]ed, Chris. You blew it.

Now, go watch something more important, like Easy Rider.}}

===Chris in denial===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>
"I am Straight, regardless of how much the [[Trolls]] may try to defile and slander my image."

That doesn't matter one bit, Chris. What you are is defined by what everyone else thinks of you, and the trolls are currently highly successful in their campaign to prove to the world that you are gay, so at the moment, you are gay to the world.

You can keep saying "I'm not gay, I'm not gay" over and over, but the trolls gain more followers every day.

Also, you lied when you said you haven't consumed your own [[semen]] in over a year. A video of you doing so got put online back in April. That is where the trolls have the stills they put up in New York.}}
{{EmailReply|In response, I suggest you watch the animated classic "The Bear That Wasn't" }}
''[[Wikipedia:The Bear That Wasn't|The Bear That Wasn't]] is a [[Wikipedia:Chuck Jones|Chuck Jones]] short from 1967. Chris apparently thinks it serves as a metaphor for his current situation. It can be watched [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq0a5JTSGvU here].''

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 27

2011-08-09T18:10:02Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 27''' was uploaded by [[CWCipedia]]'s Sysop the 30 [[December 2009]] and it was answered by [[Chris]] the same day.

Perhaps the most striking element of this mailbag is Chris's shockingly in-depth response to "Bailey Jay" a male-to-female trap. The effort he puts into his response goes way beyond that shown in any of his responses to his True and Honest [[fans]], leaving many [[trolls]] to speculate if Chris is actually attracted to her.

The rest of the responses are mostly just Chris being the nutcase we've come to expect. He gives some awful advice on things he has no experience with, such as [[love]], parenting, and moving out. He also takes a few moments to babble ignorant nonsense about genetics and [[Homos|gay people]]. In one letter, he claims that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] are gay, but it's currently unclear if he actually believes this or if it's just a retarded attempt at "slandering" them. Also, Chris seems to have lost his grasp on the [[Chris and English|English language]], as many of the responses make no sense whatsoever. Chris also got a message from Jack Harkness from ''Torchwood''.

This mailbag is also one of the few where Chris did not [[Rejected Mailbag|reject]] any letters.

==Answered==
===Love and loss===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|Edward Kennedy]] <itsamekennedy@aol.com>

Chris,

I was dating this really sweet girl named [[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] for about a month and [[God]] appeared to me in a dream on several non-consecutive occasions and told me that we were destined to be together and that we were soul mates. Well, a couple weeks ago there was a car accident where she drove off a bridge and drowned in the river below. I feel terrible enough already, but with God appearing to me in dreams all those times it really shakes my faith. Is God toying with me, or what?

I hope you can help me make sense of this!

Edward}}
{{EmailReply|Probably, or you may have misinterpreted your dreams; Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but [[Chris and death|you should move on]] and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the [[PandaHalo|same thing]] a [[Ivy|few times]] in the past too. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===We're lucky Chris will never have sex because he would be a terrible father===
{{Email|From: hurdygurdy@doglover.com
Recently you told me that "it is for the children's benefit" that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] watch [[Family Guy]] with the kids. How is it for the children's benefit that confusing adult concepts such as pedophilia have been explained to them? As they are under 5, how can they possibly understand?

Why can't you just let them be children and watch the programming designed for them? I know Family Guy is your favourite show but that doesn't mean everyone should watch it. Seeing as most of the humour is based on parodies of pop culture they have missed I doubt they would even get any of the jokes.}}
{{EmailReply|Children are most likely to channel-surf and turn on an adult program at any time; it is up to the parents to prevent those misunderstandings with caring discussions and supervision.}}

===A family history of failure===
{{Email|From: Seka Akatuka <akatsukaseka@live.com>
Hi Chris!

My interest is in genealogy, and I was very interested to hear that you were descended from [[Anne Boleyn]]. I've personally traced my own ancestry back to a family of 15th century innkeepers in Kyoto who served fancy tea and were charming.

My research over the past months and days has shown the following:

Anne Boleyn only had one daughter, Queen Elizabeth I, who was called "the Virgin Queen." Needless to say, she did not have any children you could have descended from.

Also, your ancestor Daniel Weston was not listed on any passenger lists for the Mayflower. Your parents were probably sadly mistaken about this.

I did find this interesting bit about your great-grandfather:

"10. Robert Pettis WYNN was born on 17 Nov 1877 in Mecklenburg County, Virginia. (1) He died in Jan 1952 in South Hill, VA. Family members say Robert P. Wynn was an only Child. Nellie Coleman describes Robert Pettis WYNN as a scoundral. According to her, he drank heavily and had girlfriend (Lonnie Harris) during the time he was married. Family stories say he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children. And there are others who say he was a "moonshiner.""

Source: [http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141]

His daughter, Carrie Edna Wynn, was your grandmother, who gave birth to your mother.

Isn't genealogy fascinating?

- Seka}}
{{EmailReply|It was no mistake; Daniel Weston is my ancestor, and I am well aware that he was NOT a passenger on the Mayflower; he made his voyage later on. And I will hand it to you, you have successfully identified my grandmother (mother's mother), I applaud you for that. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris is a breast man===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Okay dog, picture this. You're stuck on an island with a mermaid girl.

You have a choice: Girl top half (breasts with bottom fish) or girl bottom half (vagina with top fish).

You can only pick one or the other.}}
{{EmailReply|Girl top half.}}

===Chris dispenses more advice he'll never follow===
{{Email|From: hentairoolz@gmail.com
Dear Chris,

I am a high functioning [[autistic]] who still lives with his parents, and I have failed to get a job in the last few years after graduating from community college (I am completely unable to make it past the interview stage). I have caught my parents discussing putting me in a group home, which is something I do not want at all. Have your parents ever discussed putting you in a home, and do you have any suggestions for how I should deal with this state of affairs?

Thanks,

Kermit Jacobs}}
{{EmailReply|My parents care about me too much, and they have never discussed such a topic, I assure you confidently. You are an Adult; you SHOULD move out, get a job and find a place to live; rent an apartment or house room or something good like that.}}

===More fun with theology===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:John Calvin|John Calvin]] <johncalvin@jesusisok.ch>
Chris,

I noticed you had a problem being tempted by seeing gay things, so I looked in my Bible and found this:

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." -- Matthew 5:29

It's from the Christian part of the Bible, not the Jew part. This sounds like a pretty good solution. I mean, if seeing gay stuff bothers you so much you can just poke out your eyes and you won't have to look at them anymore! This is a much better solution than creating some kind of antidote for homosexuality, which would never work in real life.

Think about it!

Yours in the Lord,

John Calvin}}
{{EmailReply|My church has previously acknowledged that verse, and they are against it.}}

===The report card saga continues===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
"I am not ignoring it; I am doing what I can against the Trolls."

Exactly what is "what you can"?

Simply going onto [[Twitter]] and claiming "I AM TRUE AND HONEST" isn't going to work. Remember, the trolls have convinced a large number of people that greatly outnumbers your fanbase that you are a pathological liar/gay/unpatriotic douchebag. They will not accept your word(even if you think it is true and honest), you need to provide proof.

Do you know why so many people are convinced that you're an idiot lying about [[honor roll]]? Many reasons, but one of the main ones is that you can't control [[CWCipedia|your own website]]. Trolls are everywhere, in the Twitter Feed, in the Mailbag, and they've even taken over 99% of the ads.

Let me put it into a comic-related comparison. Let's say that this website is the [[CWCville]] Mall. You only control the actual Mayoral Offices, while the trolls run all the stores and make up the majority of the patrons while constantly ignoring any decree you set forth and overpowering any crackdown you attempt.

If you post your report cards, it will hurt the trolls. Don't you want them to hurt, Chris? I mean, you do keep telling them to die and all. It'll make it look like you're actually doing something useful. If this gets out of hand they'll probably plant ads that spread viruses at some point in the future and you will be liable for all damages.

Only you can stop this.}}
{{EmailReply|I have told those trolls that they are the scum of the earth, and that they give their kind of people, specifically Clyde and Jack giving their Homosexual Male kind a worse name, in videos on YouTube and such. Plus I am very aware of their hackery and trickery, and I do my best to counter them appropriately.}}

===Vaccines don't work that way===
{{Email|From: Qebafhzn <qebafhzn@gmail.com>
Chris, I'll try to be as gentle as I can be with this:
Why do you believe that Homosexuality can be cured with a simple vaccine? As far as I know, vaccines do not work that way, and homosexuality is not a simple Mendelian gene, but rather a complex mental way of sexuality. 
I just want to know your input on this.

-Take care, Qebafhzn}}
{{EmailReply|I believe a vaccine is most capable to change their mental status; my prescription has Definitely lowered my stress levels. I should know, I recently went ONE MONTH without it, and the stress LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED ME; it HURT WORSE in comparison to being on it; I went back on it, and I still take it with appreciation for it's good work on keeping me more capable on emotionally coping with stress.}}

===A repeat===
{{Email|From: Jennifer Hartworth <jayharttart@yahoo.com>
Why haven't you just bought a prostitute yet?

~ Jenny}}
{{EmailReply|I have just answered that same question in the last mailbag; the next-to-last letter.}}

===Lesbians are okay, but NEVER gays===
{{Email|From: Jonathon Harkness <j.harkness@torchwood.gov.uk>
Hi Chris,

I love reading your questions, I feel like I've learned a lot about the author of my favorite comic. But I'm confused by some of your answers!

1. You said that as a [[Methodist]], you can't condemn the homos, and you are ok with them as long as they don't bother you. But in replies after that you keep talking about reprogramming camps and cures for gayness. Don't you think that's contradictory?

2. You said you don't care what the homos do behind closed doors. Does that mean you would be mad if two men kissed in public? Would you be mad if a man kissed a woman in public? If not, why is it different?

3. I'm a STRAIGHT man, but I like looking at lesbians. Is this a sin?

4. How do you feel about gay people in the military? Do you think they can be as good of soldiers as straight people?

5. Have you ever considered having Sonichu join the Marines? He's so strong, he could probably teach the Marines something about fighting! HOO-RAH!

Keep being a hero for straight people everywhere, Chris! Zap to the extreme!

Cpt. Jack Harkness, USMC }}
{{EmailReply|1) Well I do have homosexual males who bother me; two of which being Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddius, and those two are not doing their kind any favors; on the contrary, they are WORSENING the gays' bad name in my point of view. 2) Yes, I would be most offened; I would not be mad, in fact it is a welcoming view to see man kissing woman; Two Dudes Kissing is JUST GROSS AND WRONG, and Man and Woman kissing is Just Natural and Right. 3) No, it is okay. 4) As individual males, they have equivalent capabilities if they can prove it on the field of battle. 5) Sonichu would never join the Army or Marines. My mother would never marry someone who was in the military, because she would miss him too much, and she does not want that. Likewise, Rosechu would never want Sonichu to join the Military, and if drafted, I can personally have him undrafted, or Rosechu would beat the crap out of the officers until they release him.}}

===Balljizm===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Randal Graves|Randal Graves]] <randalg37d@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris,

As a longtime fan of your comic, I have to say I'm a bit put off by how you're belittling people with [[Asperger's Syndrome]]. As I understand it from your mailbag and your manifesto about the subject (and correct me if I'm wrong) pretty much the *only* reason you say autism is nothing like Asperger's is because you can make fun of the name. And in a recent mailbag to prove a point, you made fun of the name of a fan who wrote in trying to understand you better.

Well, just so you know, plenty of people refer to autism as "bawwwtism," making fun of how those afflicted tend to cry more often. And I've even heard it referred to as "balljizm," something gay men crave.

I say this not to insult, but to make a point. It's just as easy to make fun of people with autism and the name of the condition as it is to make fun of people with Asperger's. Just because the name can be made fun of, doesn't mean it's not a legitimate affliction. Next time you're quick to judge, keep that in your thoughts.

Regards, 
Randal}}
{{EmailReply|On the contrary, the MAIN REASON I say Autism is NOTHING like Aspergers is because the Aspergers is TRYING to take the LimeLight AWAY from us TRUE Autistic People, who we have had to endure the trials and efforts to cure Our Own Ailment, or at least give Autisim the Best Good Name it can be. I will not stand by and let Aspergers take our efforts and trials and make them seem worthless in the Public Eyes.

It has NOTHING TO DO with name references, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR Insulting My People like you did. >:( --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris finally understands asexuality, but not genetics===
{{Email|From: Alex May <alex.may@gmail.com>
In your comic you created a vaccine against homosexuality using your blood. Vaccines work by making people immune to a disease by injecting them with a weakened version of the disease. If a vaccine against homosexuality was made using your blood, that would mean you have the "disease" of homosexuality, which the scientists extracted from your blood. Was this a subtle hint to let particularly studious readers know of your true nature, or simply ignorance on your part? Please get back to me!

Peace, and stay safe}}
{{EmailReply|You Are Seriously Mistaken, and Your Theory IS PROVEN FALSE. To truly KILL the Gay Gene, the weakened Gene had to be made, but THEN the gene would need to be Replaced; otherwise, the injected person would become Asexual. The Straight Gene is put in the Vaccine to Replace the Gay Gene AFTER elimination to PREVENT Asexuality. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Reunion anxiety===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:David Vanian|David Vanian]] <blackemperor918@hotmail.com>
Hey Chris,

First, I want to say that I really enjoy your comic and I wish you the best with it.

My first high school reunion is coming up in 2010 and I am a bit nervous. I am wondering, did you go to your five-year reunion? Also, are you planning to go to your ten-year high school reunion this coming summer?

So, what would you recommend that I do to be relaxed when seeing people that I haven't seen in years? I am especially eager for your advice on how to approach attractive female former classmates. I too am looking for a boyfriend free girl and I wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

Best, 
Dave}}
{{EmailReply|There's a Five-Year Reunion? No, As I have learned from my Seinor Prom, they Projected, and I Quote, "See you at the Reunion in Ten Years." So, I have not missed the beat, and I am looking forward to my Reunion in 2010, Next Year. Just remain calm, and be yourself, granted there may be a difference in the number of years, but Be Yourself just the same.}}

===Basic writing skills===
{{Email|From: Carmine Smith <carminesmith22@ymail.com>
Hello, Mr. Chandler, my name is Charlene. I've been reading your Sonichu comic, and I must ask, how come there is no interpersonal conflict between the protagonists? They all get together and date one another with any issues. There never seem to be any arguments amongst the couples, depsite the fact that arguing is a major part of having a relationship. Why did Sonichu and Rosechu decide to date so quickly? She never bothered to ask Sonichu about his personality or attributes nor did he ask her, they hooked up simply because they were the same species.Why can't the relationships in Sonichu be more realistic? Perhaps an argument, a romantic affair, a breakup, or even a divorce to make the comic more applicable to real life. Please take my ideas into perspective.

Sincerely,
Charlene Devereaux}}
{{EmailReply|They have had their arguments, but they always come to an agreement, or they remember what attracted them to each other in the first place, so It Is All Good in each Relationship.}}

===Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?===
{{Email|From "[[Wikipedia:Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>

Hey Chris.... :(

You really hurt my feelings with your [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|reply]]. I know, it's kind of shocking at first, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. All my life I've felt like I should have been a girl, and that I've been trapped inside a boy's body; I don't want any part of myself to be masculine in any way. In a sense, I have always been a woman mentally and emotionally my entire life, and I have had the courage to show this in my outward appearance as well. There are a lot of transgendered people out there who have died or have been caused great emotional or physical harm just because of how they feel inside...

I'm not gay; I'm straight, as I am a woman who has feelings for other straight men. I hope that doesn't make you think that I am disgusting or vile, because it's just who I am.

Anyways, I shared those pictures with you because I like you, Chris, and I think you're a very handsome and kind person. I thought maybe you wouldn't be intimidated like all the other boys who are afraid to approach me, because you know what it's like to be e-famous.

If you want, here's a couple more pictures that I took on recent photoshoots. Don't worry, this time I made sure they're safe-for-work.

bayimg.com/image/majhpaace.jpg
bayimg.com/image/najhaaace.jpg
bayimg.com/image/majhlaace.jpg

Thank you for understanding,

your fan

Bailey Jay ~x0x00x0x00x0x00x0x00xx~}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize for my recent response, and I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons.

As for being e-famous, it IS stressful to me; updating the content daily or near-daily without going out-of-date, trying to tell the Honest Truth when there are people who will continue to Mislabel, ridicule, slander or worse, just to make your good fans turn against you in their views. I am Straight; I just wish they would get it through their god-damned thick skulls and quit Mislabeling me. But all in all, I deal it one day at a time and one moment at a time, with time away from it all and deep breaths.

And to answer your other question in your last message, It is likely, but I do not know, because if that is true, they are certainly NOT telling me for my information. I mean, I am a good and kind person naturally (granted that I can be cruel when angry or when feeling down); I wish that women WOULD approach me if they KNOW me from online and see me in public.

If I may ask, and you may answer in a reply directly to my e-mail address at ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, is modeling the only thing you are famous for online, or are there other things you have done and published? And have you ever considered having the male appendage removed (please forgive me if I'm crossing a line)?

And, to answer another question, if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man.

Anyway, I am sure you will find your mate who will accept you fully and truly, and I most certainly wish you [[God and Jesus]]' blessings and Good Luck in that.

Peace be with you,
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:17, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 26

2011-08-09T18:08:58Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 26''' Was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[December 2009]] by the CWCipedia's Sysop. It was answered two days later, 30 December 2009.

Amongst this batch, we learn why Chris put up [[Kill de Jack|his Christmas video]], denies that he had fleas in the same video, reveals he doesn't know what "asexual" means, yet shows his usual intolerance towards gays, as well as transgenders. Chris's ability to notice who's writing him is terribly inconsistent here. He calls out a letter writer calling himself Stephen King, but doesn't catch an equally obvious letter from Chris Brown. Likewise, a letter from someone claiming to be [[Magi-Chan]] is deleted forever, while a letter from [[Blake]] is answered without any comment as to its writer. It's likely Chris only recognized the letter from Stephen King because an episode of Family Guy was specifically dedicated to Stephen King and his works.

Notable in this set is that Chris finally responds to [[Evan]], but tries to implore Evan to reconsider wanting him to kill off [[Simonla]] for the sheer fact that it would take away [[Wild]]'s girlfriend.

==Answered==
===How the Chris-Chan stole Christmas===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]] <silentbughunters@yahoo.co.uk>
Christian,

I use to be a big fans of yours, but after the video you posted on Christmas day to [[Jack]], I must say I am disgusted in you. What made you post a video like that on a day like Christmas? Christmas is a day of joy and remembering the birth of our lord Jesus Christ, but you thought it was a day of posting [[death threats]] on a website where all your fans, both young and old, could watch it! What do you think [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] would think of such things? I can tell you that they are more then likely very disappointed in you, as am I and no doubt many other fans are.

-Trevor}}
{{EmailReply|I felt the anger at that moment late in the day, and I wanted it up ASAP to inform [[Clyde]] and Jack that they both are B******s, and what they have been doing is NOT helping me see their [[Homos]]exual Male kind as good people. ON the contrary, they BOTH only make me see Anger RED with them. I apologize for doing that on Christmas Day, but I had already celebrated it with my family, and I had the thought and energy at that Late Part of the Day to Tell Those Two Down.}}

===Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL===
{{Email|From: cutesonicfan@aim.com

Ohayou gozaimasu, Christian-kun!

It is me again, Mitsuki Tojo! I wish to thank you most humbly for your response to my email in [[Mailbag 3]]. I cannot thank you enough for you honorable words. I feel forever in your debt, Christian-Kun! I have some other questions, if I may. You gave me such a pleasant response, and answered each question with such tenderness. I admire you, Christian-Kun.

1.I am planning on enrolling in your [[Virginia]] university system at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. If you could, would you go back to college all over again? And if so, what would your major be?

2. In Japan, when a young man searches for his woman, he starts a host honorable quest called the [[Homos|"Boku wa okamadesu"]], or the love quest of truth. How is yours going?

3. Do you like Japanese [[sweetheart|women]]?

Forever yours truly,

Mitsuki Tojo <3}}
''"Boku wa okamadesu" means "I am gay/an *extremely* effeminate man" in Japanese. Chris just [[Molvanîa#Molvanîan expressions|doesn't pick up on these things]].''
{{EmailReply|You are kind, and I deeply appreciate that. :) 1) While, for me alone, my College Days were miserable and lonely, and also contained hatred and interference from a later-met adversary, I personally would not want to go back to PVCC. Besides which, that b**** "Dean", [[Mary Lee Walsh]], AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace. But I digress. *deep breath* I am not certain of the list of Majors there, but I did major in Computer Aided Drafting and Design ([[CADD]]). I recommend that you look over all the major options, and choose one that best suits you and your career desires or dreams. 
2) That is poetic, and sounds accurate and most similar to my ideals for my [[Sweetheart]] Search (which I used to refer to as "[[Love Quest]]"). My mind is taking in the epiphanies, facts and all that well, and I am taking deep considerations and thoughts with all that in mind. Whereas, in real life, I still am single, with only one date that ended with a "I'm just not that into you", and lowest bed-play. So I'd say it's going so-so. 
3) Yes, I like Japanese women, and I would welcome them as friends, for dating, and maybe [[Hanky-panky|something more and deep]].

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris's brain starts to work!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]] <king.stephen@windowslive.com>

Merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler! My name is Stephen King. I am somewhat of a writer, and I have always been fascinated with your writing style. You have wonderful ideas, an amazing eye for detail, and great characters with believable personalities.

I too once had many great ideas, but over the years I did them all. Some people say I should retire, but writing is my life. All I need is one good idea. So please, Mr. Chandler, you are the only person I know of, with enough drive and creativity, to help me write a novel. Tell me, what should I write about? It can be anything, but I prefer horror.

Thanks and have a good day.

Your sincere fan, Stephen Edwin King.}}
{{EmailReply|REALLY? THE Stephen King? Author of such horrors as "The Mist", "Carrie", "The Shining" and "Vertigo"? Such a FAMOUS WRITER taking an interest in my own Hand-Drawn and Hand-Written works and sending me, a considerably lowly High-Functioning Autsitic Individual with [[honor roll|Good Grades in High School, College and whatnot]]? Forgive me for my skepticism, but I am NO FOOL; I was tricked before by TROLLS who pretended to be [[Nintendo]]'s Shigure Miyamoto, previous trusted ex gal-pals/girlfriends, a European Playstation Magazine (that went Out Of Print beforehand) Journalist, etc, etc, etc.

I will answer your question when you come clean and tell me your real name; what your Blood Mother Calls You, and NOT pretend to be a celebrity or thieve anyone's identity.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 31 December 2009 (CET)}}

''Stephen King has never written a book called "Vertigo". He has collaborated with a comics publisher called Vertigo to create ''[[wikipedia: American Vampire|American Vampire]]'', but Chris is probably getting King mixed up with Alfred Hitchcock.''

===...then, promptly shuts down again===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Chris Brown (entertainer)|Christopher Brown]] <chrisbrownluvsrhianna@yahoo.com>

Hey Chris,

My name's Chris also. Chris Brown. I LOVE the Sonichu Comics. I've noticed that you've gotten in some trouble with women. I have also.

Here's my story. Me and my girlfriend, [[Wikipedia:Rihanna|Rhianna]], were on the way to a fancy dinner. We got into an argument on the way there, and I ended up getting so furious with that woman that I hit her multiple times and bit her also. The police were called, and I was arrested and taken to jail. I've been having alternating mood swings. Some days, I feel like calling her up and apologizing, but other times, I want to [[Chris and anger|STRANGLE]] THAT RIHANNA and tear her head off. However, I don't know if I want to do that, for I have my career to think about. I'm a musician, much like yourself. I'd say you have as much talent as me, if not more. Anyways, right now, I feel like driving to her house and beating her up again! What do I do to release these urges in a non-violent way? Have you ever hit a girl before? HELP!!!!!!

Chris Brown}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, [[:File:MachPunch.jpg|NEVER HIT A WOMAN]]. I suggest forgetting about her; after the way you've acted, I'd say she wants to be nowhere near you, and I would not blame her for getting a Restraining Order against you. You should consult a Psychiatrist, tell him your troubles, and let him help you sort out your mind.}}

===It isn't theft if Chris dumps a boyfriend on them===
{{Email|From: [[Evan|Evang7]] <evang7@gmail.com>

To Christopher Christian [[Ricardo]] Weston Chandler,

How can you claim you're TRUE and [[Honest content|HONEST]] so much? The very existence
of this "[[Rejected Mailbag|Let Me Get Back To You On That]]" mailbag is admission that you lie. Whenever someone calls you out on a lie you make, you either claim it's a troll or stuff it away where you can't see it.

You're not only lying to others, you're not even being TRUE or HONEST to yourself. Come out from your [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|Trollsta's Paradise]] and face the fact that you're just as much of a jerk to your TRUE and LOYAL Sonichu
[[Fanbase]] as the [[Trolls]] are to you.

Think of this from MY perspective. When a fan makes comics about [[Rosechu]] as a MAN, you get angry, don't you? And if they were to say "I will turn Rosechu into a girl like she's supposed to be", that won't undo the damage.

Replacing Simonla with [[Simonchu]] won't fix anything, I don't want EITHER CHARACTER to be in your comics. I will be kind enough to let you finish Simonla's storyline and end it in a permanent fashion resulting in her [[death]]. And she has to die IN THE PAGES, not off-screen. I am STILL serious about this.

You've been running from me for months. Get Back To Me On This immediately, stop being a coward and prove you care about your fans
for once.

-Hugs and Kisses,

Evan}}
{{EmailReply|You are asking me to take Wild's girlfriend and Sweetheart away from him. Do not be such a monster.}}

===Chris hates da homos: Part 9001===
{{Email|From: bella <somatological@yahoo.com>

I was just wondering, if two people residing in [[CWCville]] had a loving, caring and respectful [[Homos|homosexual]] relationship, would you, as the mayor of this town, mind at all? Or are there any laws stating that you cannot be homosexual in CWCville?

Just an honest question.
Peace,
Bella}}
{{EmailReply|Gay Marriage is ILLEGAL IN Cwcville, VA.}}

===Chris uses advantage===
{{Email|From: Frank Muller <frankiefurter28@yahoo.com>

I noticed that in your [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV]] video, you scratch your head a total of ten times in about three minutes, and not in one of those "I'm thinking" ways but in the way a cat or dog digs for fleas. Have you contracted fleas?}}
{{EmailReply|I do not have fleas.}}

===New Year's wishes===
{{Email|From: mewthreepio@aol.com

You've probably been asked this already, but what is your New Years resolution for 2010?}}
{{EmailReply|Currently, I am undecided.}}

===Moar pron plz, kthnx===
{{Email|From: docdanchallis@aim.com

Hello Christian

First I'd like to say that you are doing a great job with the comic! Sonichu is without a doubt the best comic I've been reading in years!

Anyway, I've noticed that you censored the 17th Ep of Sonichu. Now, I understand that the comic might, first and foremost, be geared towards children so that was probably the right thing to do. But I think that the older readers might enjoy some of that adult stuff. I know I do!

Perhaps, you could make a special issue just for the older fans? It could contain the original 17th episode and a new episode featuring nudity and perhaps some [[hanky-panky]]. I think that some of your best displays of art, in the comic anyway, are the romantic stuff! As an adult male, I really enjoy looking at [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rosechu's sweet pussy and breasts]]!

Please consider it. Thank you and keep up the good work!

Regards,

Daniel Challis}}
{{EmailReply|It has been under consideration, and will be dealt with soon enough.}}

===Chris and asexuality===
{{Email|From: that guy <whyisthatguy@hotmail.com>

What do you think of people who are asexual? (look it up on [[wikipedia]] if you don't know what that is.)}}
{{EmailReply|I get an ERECTION when I see WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED. ''Yet to answer your question, I have no objections with asexual, but I do feel pity for those individuals.''}}
''The italicized part of this response was added long after the original response, on 4 [[January 2010]]. It is not known why he finally decided to actually answer the question instead of just being insecure about his sexuality.''

===Why Chris hates prostitutes===
{{Email|From: Bla Chu <blachu@ymail.com>
Hello Christian

Given the amount of agonising you do over your straightness and virginity and your new goal to upload the first time you have sex on to RedTube, why don't you hire a [[Chris and sex#prostitution|prostitute]]? You seem to have enough money for tons of [[video games]], a [[PS3|ps3]] and a big TV, so I'm sure you could afford to hire a decent one.

It just always struck me as strange that you won't hire one.

Regards

[[Blake]]}}
{{EmailReply|Are you kidding? Hiring a prostitute shows Lack of Emotional Meaning between me and her; I want my intercourse with TRUE LOVE Emotions Between me and her.}}

===Reusing the same excuses for everything else!===
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Yo yo yo! I just wanted to let you know, that you supportin' transgender people is a'ight!}}
{{EmailReply|I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris: friend of homos everywhere===
{{Email|From: duo1138@yahoo.com

Chris, I've tried to fight the homo urges, but it's just become too hard. And after seeing the ads on CWCipedia, I've come to realize there is only one possible truth about myself.

I am gay.

Thank you for putting those ads up.

Hugs and kisses
Queenie}}

==Gone forever==
===Magi-Chan: voice of the people===
{{Email|From: [[Magi-Chan|Magi Chan]] <mcmagichan@googlemail.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

[[For Julie's Eyes Only|You disgust me.]]

Sincerely yours,
The REAL Magi-Chan.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 25

2011-08-09T18:08:12Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 25''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[December 2009]] by the CWCipedia's Sysop. It was answered the 29 December 2009.

Chris explains that when he calls himself "high-functioning", he really just means that he's high-functioning when compared to people who are [[slow-in-the-minds|severely mentally handicapped]]. Chris also reveals that he spends 2-3 hours every day just playing with toys. (So much for "high-functioning".) Perhaps more shocking is Chris's solution to infidelity, which involves having sex with members of your significant other's family. (Unsurprisingly, he most likely got this idea from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.) Other highlights include confirmation that Chris lies to his parents, his explosive reaction to a transsexual woman (who he incorrectly identifies as a hermaphrodite), and an as-of-yet unexplained disapproval of giving birth via Cesarean section.

==Answered==

===In which Chris copy-pastes stuff he does not understand===
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Yo, what up it's your best friend fo' lyfe! Just wonderin' if you can help me with Hamster HTML 101 cuz ur so great with that shit. It ain't cheating!

1. What is bandwidth? 
2. What is HTML?

Well that's all I need help with! CHILLIN'!}}
{{EmailReply|You could have look up the terms on [[Wikipedia]], and I quote, "In computer networking and computer science, digital bandwidth, network bandwidth or just bandwidth is a measure of available or consumed data communication resources expressed in bit/s or multiples of it (kbit/s, Mbit/s etc)." "HTML, which stands for HyperText Markup Language, is the predominant markup language for web pages. It provides a means to create structured documents by denoting structural semantics for text such as headings, paragraphs, lists etc as well as for links, quotes, and other items."}}

===This is perhaps the worst advice Chris has ever given===
{{Email|From: eddie V thunderpuncher@yahoo.com
Dear Chris, 
I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now, I've heard that you're supposed to stay with your first girlfriend because no one else will take her place, but I'm in a bit of a dilemma. What would you do, Christian, if your true and honest [[sweetheart]] ever went after another man behind your back?

Sincerely, eddie.}}
{{EmailReply|I would talk with her; tell her how you feel about her doing those things with this other dude, but DO NOT voice [[Death threats|threat]] or [[Chris and anger|anger]]; Maintain a [[Chris and hypocrisy|CALM Voice Tone]]. Then Listen and Comprehend fully on her side of the story without suspicion. Ask her not to do those things with that guy, or come to a compromise; she did that dude, so you could do one of her friends or family with her full knowledge and consent of the act; in that case, she would see from her point of view how you felt when she went out and did that dude.}}

===In which Chris admits he lied to Bob===
{{Email|From: [[Wiki:Jeffrey Archer|Jeffrey Archer]] <jeffreyarcher@politician.com>
Dear Chris,

As a loyal [[Sonichu]] fan I remember that not too long ago you commanded all copies of your [[house]] tour for [[Ivy]] be removed from the internet. Well, I took down the version I put up right away but when I did a search I was horrified that even more copies were put up.

Then I saw the video of [[Bob Chandler|your Dad]] yelling at you. How was this resolved? Did you lie to him and tell him that all copies were taken off the internet?

Your fan,
Jeffrey}}
{{EmailReply|I did tell him that it was removed from the internet, and he is still ticked off at me for ever putting it up in the first place.}}

===In which Chris tells someone to give random women sex toys===
{{Email|From: iluvlittlegirls@hotmail.com
Dear Chris,

I recently turned 18, and am interested in buying some pornography DVDs. However, I know very little about the genre. Which porn movies are your favorite? I am interested in both hard- and soft-core movies.

Sincerely,

Peter Sotos}}
{{EmailReply|Soft-Core you can easily watch from Cinemax or HBO; for the Hard-Core, I recommend anything with one man/one woman videos; you can view the variety of DVDs on http://www.adameve.com for your choosing. Be aware of the "Free Gift(s)" they send you with a purchase of $17 or more; they may send you items such as [[dildo]]s and beads; if you receive such items suitable for women, I would leave the items UNOPENED and offer them to your consenting adult women friends, or any women they may know.}}

===High functioning babble===
{{Email|From: sentientmachine11@gmail.com
Hello there Chris

I have noticed that you claim to be a high-functioning [[autistic]] male. What exactly does "high functioning autistic" mean? You say it a lot but never really give a clear definition. I could look it up on Wikipedia but I would rather go right to the source which would be you. People on Wikipedia tend to vandalize articles with misinformation.

So yeah, please elaborate on that. I'm rather confused.

Have a nice day.

-John Matrix}}
{{EmailReply|Well, thank you kindly for asking for my input on the subject. Versus Low-Functioning individuals who generally are likely mentally retarded to a point where all they can say are moans and groans, have Limited physical motion (such as keeping their arms and hands in Praying Mantis position and resists reaching out, or keeping their mouths wide open very often), may be confined in wheelchairs, crutches or such, or may possibly be [[Duck|deformed physically]]. High-Functioning individuals, such as myself, have better mental capabilities and functions, have better physical motion, and likely are more similar to functioning normal people. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:50, 30 December 2009 (CET)}}

===It's a trap!===
{{Email|From: "[[wikipedia: Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>
Hey Chris!! Thank you for your [[Mailbag 8#It's a trap|reply]]! And thank you for calling me cute :3 you're a pretty handsome guy yourself, but you know that already ;)

I think my biggest problem with boys is that like you I am also e-famous, and people are afraid to approach me because they are intimidated by that! 
I have been online modelling for a while now, and so I think boys get nervous around me... lol :(

Do you have that problem too? Do you think that girls don't approach you because they are intimidated by how famous you are?

Anyways, if you're interested, here are some of my pics ;)

They range from cute...

i50.tinypic.com/2gtp2l4.jpg

to downright NAUGHTY :D

bayimg.com/image/najnjaacd.jpg

hope you enjoy!!

-XOXOoxOXOXOXOoxOXOxooXXO

BJ}}
{{EmailReply|OH MY GOD!!! [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]] ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "[[Wikipedia:The Crying Game|The Crying Game]]", or the [[Wikipedia: A Brown Thanksgiving|Thanksgiving episode]] of "[[The Cleveland Show]]".}}

===Chris disapproves of c-sections for some reason===
{{Email|From: meshellbel@aol.com

Dear Chris--

Hello and good day! My name is Diana and I've read Sonichu over the past year and can honestly say it's the best comic I've EVER read. My husband and I read it together every night (Thank you SO much for your daily pages! The suspense kills me!) To be honest, your comic pages of [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu..."together" gave my husband and I "inspiration" for our own "together time"

Anyway, after two years of marriage my husband and I have finally conceived our first child and I'd like to thank you for your comic pages, I can't help but feel you helped this to come about. I'm due in March and I'll be finding out the gender of the baby soon.

Now to my questions. My husband and I are not close with our respectful families and I have no one to ask about bringing up a child, my friends don't have children yet. So I value your opinions on the following, to supplement my research:

1. Should I "spoil" my child? Is there anything wrong with getting them the things they want? It's not easy being a kid...

2. What should I feed my child? My husband and I run our own business, so we aren't home often. I'll require [[Abusive babysitter|a baby sitter]], so I don't want them burning up the kitchen

3. How much television should I allow my child to watch?

4. My husband and I don't make much money, we can barely support ourselves, so how can I save money on things the baby needs?

And well...this doesn't pertain to the baby's upbringing but...

5. Can I still have sex while I'm pregnant? What are possible consequences if I do?

6. Should I get a c-section or have a natural birth?

7. Should I breastfeed?

Any further input you can offer would be much appreciated. Thank you for your hardwork on the comic pages, keep on zappin' !

Love, Diana}}
{{EmailReply|1) It's okay to treat the child, but do not do it too much; spoiling the child will likely lower the chance of the child learning the valuable lesson of self-reliance [[monthly tugboat|and independence]]. 2) Bottles of Milk are best for a while up till a certain age (look it up on the internet or your local library). 3) 1 or 2 hours a day, and turn on the Closed Captions for helping the child learn to read faster. 4) LESS SPENDING and IMPULSE SHOPPING/BUYING; also hire an accountant to help you there. 5) I think it's okay, but google the topic to learn for sure. 6) NATURAL! 7) It is an option; you can look up the benefits and possible risks online too.}}

===Chris on the nature of sin===
{{Email|From: Team CWCket <TeamCWCket@gmail.com>
Hey Chris, it's the girls from Team CWCket again! Sorry about the new e-mail - it turns out that football hooligans from over here in the UK hacked yourcricketteam.co.uk and sabotaged most of the mailboxes. If you tried to send us anything, you should use the new address.

Bit of a serious note this one - we were watching your video about [[Jack]] and [[Clyde]] after practice today, and you mentioned having a [[gal-pal]] who is a [[lesbian]]. As you can imagine, on an all-girl sports team sometimes there's... tensions and issues surrounding that particular subject, so I was wondering whether you had any insight you could offer us about it.

- How did you find out your friend was [[gay]]? 
- How did you react? 
- You seem very accepting of her lifestyle, and it sounds like you're more comfortable around her than you would be around male homosexuals. Why is that? 
- Do you think women should avoid lesbians in the same way you tend to keep a distance from male homosexuals, or should they get to know each other? 
- Are lesbians morally "better" than male homos? I know you are much more angry about the sort of acts male homosexuals perform.

Sorry that this one was a bit heavy, but it's caused a bit of debate on the team, so I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Keep a happy thought!

All your gal-pals on Team CWCket.}}
{{EmailReply|1) She told me herself. 2) I was surprised, but I accepted it soon after. 3) I was always less comfortable with men; one of my character flaws you may say. But regardless, I still detest homosexual men, yet I do not discriminate against them as individual people. 4) As long as the woman KNOWS fully that she is Straight and will remain that way, it is okay to be friends with lesbians; do not go beyond just friends. 5) Morally, yes.}}

===Balding issues===
{{Email|From: Mark Green <everydoor42@yahoo.com>
I'm in my twenties and have started going bald. I noticed you are balding too, and much more rapidly than I am. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I know a lot of guys, when they start losing their [[hair]], shave it all off, but you've embraced your thining hairline. How did you do that? How did you come to accept your hair loss and the shame attached to it? I'll appreciate any help you can offer me as a man who is also suffering through baldness.}}
{{EmailReply|I generally do not think about balding issues; as long as I still have mine, it is good. Yet when it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge.}}

===In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day===
{{Email|From: Doug Bunny <since1915@yahoo.com>
How often do you play with toys (how many hours, per day, would you say you spend, on average, playing with toys)? }}
{{EmailReply|I don't know, about 2 or 3, I Estimate.}}

===Chris on mindless materialism===
{{Email|From: naturalelection@aol.com
What do you want for your 28th birthday? Do you know if your friends are planning to do anything special for you?}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know yet of what I want to do, and I will learn of any plans when they come up.}}

===Magi-Chan is gay===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Hey CWC!

Thanks for answering my previous questions, but i have some more.

1) Why is it [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Blake]] didn't attend Dating Education?

2) If all of the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] had a huge fight, who would win?

Please reply soon!
Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|1) Blake is in his relationship with [[Bubbles]]; he did not need to take the class. Magi-Chan keeps to himself mostly; he did not see fit to take the class. 2) I am not sure.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris's disgusting home===
{{Email|From: privatesnazz@aol.com

How can your kitchen be so filthy? I wouldn't eat anything that comes out of it, and you should be ashamed to put it up on the internet. }}

===Straight guys don't drink their own semen===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>

Chris, only one of the images in New York was photoshopped. There were like five total. Do the math.

New York still knows that you drink your own semen, and thus they all think that you're gay.

Also, there was an image of your mother put up. How's she reacting?}}
{{EmailReply|I am Straight, regardless of how much the [[Trolls]] may try to defile and slander my image.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 24

2011-08-09T18:06:59Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 24''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]]. The letters include questions about [[Asperchu]], Missionary Cowgirl, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Winston Quentin Shambler]] the True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu|Mario Potter]], a schoolteacher, an actual real [[troll|fan]], and the return of the [[Ivy|crazy plant girl]]. Chris answered to the mailbag the 29 [[December 2009]]. Notably, Chris offers some of the worst dating advice of all time. Despite the fact that he's answered it, he still lists it as "to be answered."

==Answered==
===Christmas with the Chandlers===
{{Email|From: kayohehl@yahoo.com
Hello Christian, hope you are enjoying the holiday season! I was wondering (now that it's too late for me to spoil any surprises for anyone!) what gifts you purchased, and for whom? What did mom and dad get from you? They've done a lot for you, so I'm sure it was pretty special!}}
{{EmailReply|It was simple and nice; nothing too big. I purchased a few nice gifts for my friends at my church, and I got my [[mom]] and [[dad]] something nice; they enjoyed it. They gave me a game, a bit of chocolate, and a nice family time.}}

===In which Chris reveals he hates parodies===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Lizzie_Borden|Liz Borden]] <lizborden@gmail.com>
Chris,

Have you read the Asperchu comics? They are really awesome. I love [[Sonichu]], but I have to tell you that the last few issues have been really boring and the [[Christmas story]] was a big disappointment, we didn't even get to see what happened and now Christmas is over!

I have to tell you that I think the Sonichu comics have been getting stale and tiresome, I think you need to go back to what made them great in the first place, such as the subepisodes and more romance and real life stuff, or your fans are going to start following Asperchu! If you want an example of great storytelling, check out the subepisode in the latest Asperchu.

Hope you had a merry Christmas!

Sincerely yours,

Lizzie}}
{{EmailReply|I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a Sonichu with aspergers, which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like autism, then the creator really knows nothing about [[Autism]].}}

===CWCma Sutra===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Pretty_Woman|prettywoman]]@hotmail.com
Hey Chris,

Could you explain how "missionary cowgirl" in [[Sonichu 8]] is supposed to work? I know a lot of sex positions and massages and I've never ever heard of this.

I'm over 21, by the way.

Take Care,

Vivian Ward}}
{{EmailReply|When I stated that, I was only playing on the Cowgirl position, with "Missionary" meaning regular or standard.}}

===Calm and rational stalking===
{{Email|From: zetsubousensei.itoshiki@gmail.com
Hello, Christian. I am a schoolteacher, and while I don't particularly like my job, I've wanted to discuss something that's made my life tougher and more pointless than it already was.

I've had a stalker for some time now, and she happens to be one of my students. I haven't gone to the local police or anything, as I don't want to get any of my students in trouble, no matter how disturbing they may act. She's probably watching me type this message, actually. I mean, she watches everything else.

So I have to ask you: A man as famous as you must have to deal with stalkers and obsessive [[fans]] all the time, right? But even if you don't, I'd like to know how you'd handle a stalker. If you can help me, there's a spot for you in my will.

And please, answer as soon as you can.

I'm in despair. My stalker has left me in despair.

-[[Wikipedia:Sayonara,_Zetsubou-Sensei|Zetsubou-sensei]]}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, GO TO THE POLICE and seek their help. Second, confront your stalker and learn why she is stalking you; it may be just a small thing that can be discussed calmly and rationally. Other than that, I'd just ignore her.}}

===Chris will elaborate attacks another time===
{{Email|From: thelman55@yahoo.com
Dear chris, ive been a fan of sonichu for a LOOOONG time, and from what ive seen in your videos, your quite the [[CWC Fighter|fighter]] my friend, so I wanted to ask you, (my name is Logan btw) my brother victor has been picking on me a lot lately, recently he's gotten these really sharp fingernails and he runs at me on all fours! it's really scary! what do you think I should do? 
Also. 
When you, [[Clyde]], and [[Liquid Chris|Mirror world chris]] have your final battle, do you think you will win? Do you have any special attacks? are there any i could use against my dang dirty brother victor?

Your fan,
[[Wikipedia:Wolverine_(comics)|Logan]]}}
{{EmailReply|Tell your brother that he is really bothering you, ask him to stop, and offer a reward for him stopping. I would win, but I have little time at the moment, so I will elaborate attacks another time.}}
''Chris never got around to elaborating on attacks.''

===There are no elections===
{{Email|From: style88@mail.com

What individuals did you run against during your election as [[CWCville]] mayor? 
Did your past purchases of anal beads and vibrators raise questions about your sexuality, or is the CWCville constituency [[gay]]-friendly?}}
{{EmailReply|There were no elections. That is a likely probability, but I AM STRAIGHT, and those items were FREE GIFTS that came with purchases of Women Love Dolls. Cwcville, [[Cwcipedia]] and myself are against the [[Homos]]exual Lifestyle altogether, but we do not discriminate against them as individual people.}}

===Chris trying to curse people is "common"===
{{Email|From: magnetsarecool1963@[[Wikipedia:Genosha|genosha]].com

Dear Mr. Chandler,

I've taken note of your claims of powers to "curse" and "bless" people, and I find it fascinating. I take a great interest in these situations, and would like some more information on your abilities, if you have any to offer.

1) Are you aware of any other abilities you might also possess? Any theories? I've heard you [[Father Call|claim to have lifted 5-10 tons]], do you have enhanced strength? 
2) Do you know anything about the origins of your abilities? Is there an event in your past, perhaps a science experiment gone wrong, that triggered them? Or do you believe you were born with them? 
3) Does your autism have any connection to your abilities? 
4) Is there any history in your family of powers? Perhaps you could ask your parents if they ever displayed signs of similar abilities.

I hope to hear from you soon. I believe you may be far superior most humans, and I would be extremely interested in working with you if my theories are correct. I look forward to learning more about these fantastic abilities of yours.

Don't let anyone discriminate against you for these gifts of yours. The inferior will always hate and fear the advanced among us.

Sincerely,
[[Wikipedia:Magneto_(comics)|Max Eisenhardt]]}}
{{EmailReply|Curses and Blessings are most common, and I can not life 5 tons; that is an exaggeration. I am not Superman.}}

===Useless ass-kissing===
{{Email|From: frighteyes <frighteyes@gmail.com>

I've been reading about you on the internet for a while now and I think you're fascinating. I was so excited to see that you have your own wiki. Just wanted to drop you a line saying hi and congratulating you on your accomplishments. You're truly a celebrity!

Your fan,
M from New Jersey}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your kind support.}}

===Blah blah blah Chris's imaginary sister===
{{Email|From: J <misterbig45@yahoo.com>

Hello there! I don't much get to read your comics (us Minish being too small to work computers and all that) but of the ones I have read I really like! It's so nice to see someone learning a useful skill like artistry.

Anyway, on to my question. I noticed that in the last comic, you obtained all seven Sonichu Crystals (or did you? I wasn't sure). Since the point of gathering the crystals was to rescue [[Crystal]] from the Dark Mirror Hole, does that mean she'll b making a return to the comic soon?

Keep drawing,
[[Wikipedia:The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap|Master Melari]]}}
{{EmailReply|All seven crystals have been gathered. She will make her return within the [[Sonichu 10|10th book]]'s later pages.}}

===Chris gets called out, mentally blocks it===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
Why didn't you answer my questions? Why aren't you a real adult? They would've helped you understand your own fallacies and led you to be more adult! Masturbating to porn is not being "adult"; being adult is expanding your horizons rather than being confined to your [[video games]] and kids' movies. Being adult is understanding other peoples' feelings rather than assuming their own desires. Being adult is not screaming out every goddamn secret you have to your friends, family, and even girls you may be infatuated with. Being adult, especially, is respecting others rather than bringing revenge and curses upon them just because they gave you doses of tough love you couldn't understand. An adult is not somebody who's 18 or older; I'm 18 and I'm far from being an adult. I have [[Asperger's]]. I'm quite insulted by the way you dissed people with that disorder, calling them "[[retard]]s" and other derogatory words of that caliber. It really sucks to see that a man who could've done so much with his life threw it all away to act like a child. Who do you think you are? Michael Jackson?

I'm trying to communicate to you through here. Do you realize that instead of constant praise, you get derision from everybody? That's why "[[4-cent_garbage|4centgarbage]]" and "[[ED|Encyshlopeia Dramasska"]] exploited you; you couldn't take criticism. Well, Chris, I was once like you: a retard with bad art who retorted horribly at criticism. However, learning my lesson, I improved my writing, humor, and overall taste in everything...and that was in one year! You have taken about 15 years to correct yourself and you haven't not corrected yourself one bit. I won't be surprised to see if you ignored this or if you want to retort in your fancy way; you can't take it, not even from your parents. If I was you, I'd run away from home and discover myself. I wouldn't come back to my pleasure; I would find out why I'm the failure I am and humble myself. Lighting Advent candles and having people comment on your stuttering doesn't help. They know you can't talk well.}}
{{EmailReply|You, sir, do not know me, and your input has been taken under consideration.}}

===Average C-cup size===
{{Email|From: captorima04@aim.com
Hello there, Chris. A friend of mine told me about your comic a few days ago, and I must say, I enjoy your quirky Sonichu comic (sadly, I've read so much. I'll keep on reading it though!). I've drawn some fan art of your electric hedgehogs and as a curious woman I feel like I must ask these questions, lol.

1) Tell me a bit about [[Silvana]], she was corrupted, right? Will she/he see the error of her/his ways and join Sonichu and the gang or stay as a villain?

2) Have you ever considered making reference sheets of your characters? Like if you made one of Sonichu or [[Rosechu]] (Full body pic in color, with details on certain parts of him and how to draw it, their heads in several angles, their info and maybe original concepts of them.)

3) Have you ever thought of introducing your [[Animal Crossing]] character and town in the Sonichu universe? (He's a cute little character.)

4) I noticed in one panel, Rosechu is a C cup size. What C size is she exactly? (Random question, I know.)

5) Have you ever thought of make spin off comics of other characters in the Sonichu Series? (Like how Archie Comics did with Tails and Knuckles.) If not, maybe a bit detailed background comic of each character (Even Rosechu's background).

Hopefully, my questions didn't bore you. Ah, I forgot to mention I put Sonichu in a comic of mine, as a cameo. I hope you don't mind!

From curious fan, Robin.}}
{{EmailReply|1) Yes, Silvana was corrupted; you will have to wait and see what her fate will be. 2) I have made reference sheets and drawings already, thank you. 3) That is a good idea. 4) Rosechu is of Average C-Cup Size. 5) That will happen soon enough. As long as you reference me as the original creator of Sonichu within the book, it is okay.}}

===Chris gives girl advice===
{{Email|From: Thomas Landraw <neutralmilkman@live.com>
Dear Christian;

I desperately need your dating expertise (I know you're educated on the matter because of your "Date-Ed" issue). Recently my best friend broke up with his girlfriend, and she's been flirting with me a lot. A week ago now I went over her house and we made out, fondled each other, and etc., and we've done so since then too. I feel really guilty about it, and every time I do it I say it's the last time. Luckily I've prevented it from going any further (she wants to have sexual intercourse, but we aren't even dating), mainly because I'm only 17. Do you think I'm a horrendous person for doing this? I've told her I have no plans to ever date her, and she said she was fine with that but we would just be "friends with benefits"... is this wrong?

Sincerely,

Tom}}
{{EmailReply|You are not horrendous; you are only being honest about how you feel about the situation. You have two options here: you may take advantage of his loss of her in the breakup and start Dating her, then have sexual intercourse without regret or fear (especially if 17 is the legal age of consent in your state; check online in a search for verification), OR you may be strong and firm; break up with her; either she gives you space, and maybe go back to your friend, or you will get a Restraining Order against her.}}

===Really short answers===
{{Email|From: fernando.thecourier.guerrero@gmail.com
Hey it's me again, your biggest fan ever! And if anyone says otherwise I'll destroy them! 
Oh and Btw I was kinda hurt back in mailbag 4 when you gave those really short answers to my questions :' (. I kinda felt as If you didn't care about your biggest fan...well anyways on the the questions!

1) I noticed you've invented your own type of plant species (Zapbud) could you tell me about because they seem to show up alot.

2)What is your favorite Flower and why? (mine is the Morning Glory since it's really pretty and grows fast)

3) Have you ever thought of incoperating Enviromental issues into your comic to raise awarness?

Anyways I hope you answer my questions , and could you please type alot? Cuz I am really interested with your comic :)

Love your Biggest Fan

IZZY}}
{{EmailReply|1) They are simple flowers of red and blue with natural lightning bolt imprints in the petals and central pollen area; they smell nice. 2) I like most flowers, and I am uncertain of a favorite at the moment. 3) That is an idea; I will take it under consideration.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===So do we trust Chris, or the court record?===
{{Email|From: Ray Fry <stinkyxpete@yahoo.com>
I looked up the court record. According to it, your father took Nathanael Greene Elementary School to court in order to prevent them from sending you to a private institution. According to it, the teachers claimed you were unruly in class, that you routinely shouted in class during lessons (they audio taped you being disruptive during class time), and even had to be physically restrained. According to it, you put a little kid in the hospital after biting off a chunk of his nose. What do you have to say to this? Why would you do this, and then lie about it and make it out like teachers were bullying you when, in reality, you were a bad child? Why the smear campaign? And why did your parents continue mainstreaming you when you obviously needed professional help and to be surrounded by people who understood your autism (mainstream teachers shouldn't have to accommodate for retards like you when retards get special schools and special teachers)? Why, Chris? Why?}}
{{EmailReply|WHAT? I never bit anyone in my life. Your sources are obviously false and faulty.}}

==Autism Mailbag==

===Victory over Aspergers===
{{Email|From: Winston Quentin Shambler <WinstonQShambler@email.com>
Dear Christian,

You may not have heard, but I am Winston Quentin Shambler of Cleavland, Ohio. I am also the REAL and GENUINE Creator of Mario Potter, the Plumber Wizard Boy attending Hogwarts School in WQSville, Ohio. I regularly read your comic, but I was quite Angry when I read your CWCipedia Site and saw you insult the people with Aspergers. As a REAL and GENUINE growing 31 Year-Old with Aspergers All My Life, I am Offended. I was there to Nurture the First Generation of Asperger People, as well as go beyond my Asperger Dreams above and beyond. Those with Autism dare to try and take the Limelight away from us Asperger People with their inability to do anything useful. The Autistics also dare to imitate those with Aspergers to appear Normal, but they will never Match Up with a TRUE ASPERGER PERSON!

VICTORY OVER ASPERGERS ONLY BELONGS TO US TRUE ASPERGER PEOPLE.

- Winston Quentin Shambler}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 23

2011-08-09T18:06:05Z

BubonicTheHedgehog:

'''Mailbag 23''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 23 [[December 2009]]. Despite [[Chris]]'s recent habit of updating almost daily, he waited up to 28 [[December 2009]] to answer this [[mailbag]].

This mailbag marks the return of Chris's willingness to actually change what other people have written to suit his personal preferences, and what is perhaps the strongest comeback of it yet. Chris heavily altered [[Mailbag 23#In which Chris goes nuts|one letter]] to the point where it was virtually unrecognizable (not to mention unreadable). He kept a copy of the original letter in the rejected mailbag. Chris also lists several magic spells that he wishes he could perform, including "Hono" (a homo eradicator) and "Come to me, my Women" (a virginity eradicator).

==Answered==
==="All of my ear" is not inherently funny===
{{Email|From: Aldof Meyer (AMeyer1950@APA.org)

Hello, Christian. I enjoy [[Sonichu]] on my days off from work. However, as a professional psychologist, I have to say your attacks on [[Asperger's Syndrome]] are rather odd. Especially the Most Terrible Cut of Meat" argument. Dr. Hans Asperger's name was Austrian, and Dr. Asperger himself was a very kind and earnest man. If his name were, say, Eselbrötchen, then I could see your offense, but, the name is arbitrary. It could have been anyone's last name, even mine! It bothers me that if the syndrome were called, say, Jackson's Syndrome it would bother you less. If you won't change your views on the disease, then, please, leave the late Dr. Asperger out of it.

With respect, Aldor Meyer, Ph.D}}
{{EmailReply|And to prove the point of misinterpretation in your direction, "Aldof Meyer" sounds like "All Of My Ear"; it writes its own punchlines.}}

===Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free===
[[Image:Chris_the_pirate.jpg|thumb|Scourge of the seas]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Monkey Island (series)|Guybrush Threepwood]] (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com)

Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey?

1. Did you ever fantasize about being a pirate?

2. What would you do if you were a pirate? What would your ship be called?

3. Imagine: you're in a vicious sword fight, and your deadly opponent shouts a painful insult: "You fight like a dairy farmer!" You obviously need to come up with a counter-insult to his insult! What would your counter-insult be?

4. You said you like to drink at parties, now and then. Would ye like to drink GROG, like a real pirate???

Fair winds to ye, matey, and make those blaggard [[trolls]] walk the plank!

Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate.}}
{{EmailReply|I fantasized being a pirate a bit, recently in the latest [[LittleBiGPlanet]] Content based on "Pirates of the Caribbean". My ship would be called "The [[CWC]] Route". I would say, "[[The Simpsons|Don't have a cow, man.]]" Probably. Thank you for your support.}}

===Chris the hero===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Fountainhead|Howard Roark]] (fountainhead3000@hotmail.com)

Hi Chris, I had a quick question about something you said in an earlier mailbag:

"As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already?"

Can you tell us more about your heroism or some crimes you've solved? The reason I'm asking is because I don't remember any times you've talked about being a hero or crime-fighting. It's nice that you're modest about that, but I'm sure your fans would love to hear about your adventures!

Sincerely,

Howard Roark}}
{{EmailReply|I would have to rethink of those stories and write them up for typing later. When I said that, I was referring originally to the adventures within the [[Comic]] Pages.}}

===PETA sucks===
{{Email|From: Sarah Mclovin <hedgeh0gluvin@live.com>
Dear CWC,

I am a big fan of your work and have been following you and your brave struggle with [[autism]] and trolls for awhile. 
Being such a big inspiration to the autistic community I wanted to know if you had heard the news that scientists have found the cause of autism.

http://www.peta.org/feat_autism.asp

As that article clearly states a direct link has been found between dairy milk and autism. It has also been shown that removal of milk from the diet of autistic children improved symptoms. I was wondering what you think of this new discovery? I for one am excited because now that we have isolated the cause of autism we can begin working on a cure.}}
{{EmailReply|The link is only a theory, and they state that they have NO Concrete Evidence to prove it fact. I feel that it is a bunch of Bologna.}}

===Family Guy Comic===
{{Email|From: [[Pokémon|garyoak]]591@gmail.com
Hey Chris! I am a fan of your Sonichu comics! They really make my day when I fell my heart-level is down. Anyways, I read the post you wrote about a [[Family Guy]] episode featuring you, Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]. It would be awesome if they did make it real and I hope they will! But I was wondering if you could make that episode into a comic so I, as well as your entire fanbase, can see how it would look like. Could you please do that? That would be awesome!
I wish you the best!
Your fan,
Toomiss Sasa}}
{{EmailReply|I have thought about that, and it will be done soon enough.}}

===High functioning murderers===
[[Image:DylanAndErick.JPG|thumb|Dudes of all teenages.]]
{{Email|From: redboomer05@gmail.com
Hello, Christian.

My name is Maria and I am a teacher at the Cantrona County High School in New Mexico. I'm writing you because two of our students are in the hospital after a terrible car accident. They love your comic book and are always talking about Sonichu. When you put up a new page, they print it out and bring it to class for everyone to share. Their names are [[Wikipedia:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Dylan and Erick]], they're both high-functioning autistic children. I'm writing this in hopes that you'll put a little "shout-out" to them in your next comic. Maybe a little sketch with a drawing of them and Sonichu giving his support? I would love to bring that page to them.

I enclosed a picture of them in case you want to help with this. I know you're a family-man and you understand how much this could mean to them. Imagine if one of the sonic artists drew you a picture when you were a kid, that would be much how they feel!

Thank you in advance,
Maria Redboomer}}
{{EmailReply|I have recently gave a shout-out to them both in a [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|video]] on my [[YouTube]]. I hope they are doing better. Thank you for letting me know so I can show my support for their benefit. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Sonichu and Rosechu watch Family Guy for their children's benefit===
{{Email|From: hurdygurdy@doglover.com
Dear Chris,

As a mother I am appalled that Sonichu lets his children watch Family Guy. Family Guy regularly contains swearing, references to drugs, frequent violence and smutty humour. It is not suitable for any child under the age of 15. How can Sonichu justify letting children under the age of 5 watch this show?

The fact that one of the children repeats a rude, insulting joke about the Virgin Mary having sex shows that it's a bad influence on them. Children should not be saying those sorts of things, especially when they are too young to understand them.

It doesn't matter that Sonichu and Rosechu watch the show with them. When a crass joke is made, is it Sonichu or Rosechu who explain what [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|incest]], [[Pedofork|pedophilia]] or [[Mass Debating|masturbation]] are

Sonichu and Rosechu are bad parents and their children must be taken into care immeadiately.}}
{{EmailReply|You are taking this out of proportion. Letting children watch the show WITH Parental Supervision; the PARENTS are responsible to point out the differences between comedy, parody, fact, fiction, and how they feel about each topic as well as what is currently happening with that. Sonichu and Rosechu HAVE BEEN DOING ALL of that, and it is for the children's benefit.}}

===Chris on fornication===
{{Email|From: Daniel Silva <svenporks@yahoo.com>
G'day Chris, Dan here.

My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex. She is a Catholic and I am a [[Methodist]]. However, she quotes numerous passage in the bible that specifically forbid ANY sort of sexual activity before marriage (including oral, anal). Some she quotes are 1 Corinthians 7:2, 10:8, Galatians 5:19, Ephesians 5:3, and many more. Even 2 Corinthians 12:21 states "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged." As a devout Christian, she has convinced me that ANY sexual activity before marriage is against God's will. However, I still want her, so I need a second opinion. Is it okay to have sex before marriage? And if it is, what does God think about it?}}
{{EmailReply|[[God and Jesus]] wants us to live our lives where we each feel comfortable, happy and at peace as we individually see fit without regret. I feel sex before marriage is good; it establishes that link in the relationship which establishes that this mate makes me feel most comfortable, happy and satisfied in sexual intercourse.

And, NOT to promote such, but most people would have done it with multiple partners beforehand anyway, and those people have it good, because they have the benefit of understanding and appreciating good sexual intercourse from the bad.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===[[Attraction location]]s===
{{Email|From: cjnorthlondon@yahoo.co.uk
Hi Chris

I'm a virgin and I'm so alone. Let me explain my situation further.

I've waited twenty years, seven months and twenty-seven days, yet I've never had no-one ever. There's a club where I like to go ... so I go and stand on my own, and I leave on my own and I go home and I cry and I want to die. [[Wikipedia:How Soon is Now?|I am human and I need to be loved - just like everybody else does]]. I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine. Will nature make a man of me yet?

As a frustrated virgin yourself, what advice can you give for coping with such misery?

[[Wikipedia:Morrissey|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]}}
{{EmailReply|Have you TALKED TO THE WOMEN while you were at the club at all? You will not get anywhere without at least starting small-talk with WOMEN. I highly recommend continuing going out, and TALK TO THE WOMEN; even those who are already taken can help hook you up with SINGLE WOMEN they know. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris honestly thinks he's in contact with Seth MacFarlane===
{{Email|From: Michael Boharsik <mboharsik@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

My name is Michael and I have been following your video blogs for some months now and I must say that I am impressed by your artistic abilities. Have you tried contacting Seth MacFarlane (which is how you spell his named) directly about cooperating on an animation project? I'd love to see some CWC and Sonichu action in a/many Family Guy episode(s). Please keep us updated on any developments in this matter.

God bless you and have mercy}}
{{EmailReply|Communications have been started, and developments will be posted on the [[Cwcipedia]] as they come up.}}

===Basic language===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Mega Man (original series)|Thomas Light]] <robotmaster18@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

I have enjoyed your comics since the very beginning, Mr. Chandler, and I have to say that I've received endless entertainment from them and from everything related to Sonichu and its creator. I have been reading, and quite enjoying, your Christmas Special that is [[issue 11]], but I have a question though. How come Sonichu and Rosechu's Sonee and Rosey children speak in nearly fluent english, when the [[Chaotic Combo]] only could speak their names, like normal [[pokemon]]. Why is that? I mean the Chaotic Combo hatched from eggs, just like [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie, Cera, and Christine]]?}}
{{EmailReply|Robbie, Cera and Christine got to learn to speak fluently from their Parents who Speak it well too. After hatching, those three Started out only saying "[[Sonee]]" and "[[Rosey]]"; relatively, most of the Chaotic Combo members did not have English-Speaking guardians, so they could ONLY learn to speak English AFTER growing up to be Sonichus and Rosechus. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris goes nuts===
''Chris altered this letter a great deal, then placed an unaltered copy in the rejected mailbag. His additions have been marked with italics.''

{{Email|From: thespekkio@hotmail.com

Dear Mr. Chandler,

I'm not really a fan, but recently I've become very familiar with your work. You see, I am a [[homos]]sexual.
For months I have been trying to come out of the closet, but my father is really conservative, and not wanting to disappoint him rendered me depressed.
Talking to my therapist, she said you too strugled with your sexuality for a long time, '''''AND SHE IS IN ERROR''''' in
'''''[[Ruckersville]]''''' [[Virginia]]. If you could answer me this questions, it would mean a lot to me:

1-''Why are'' you ''Straight''? '''''BECAUSE IT IS NATURAL TO ME AS A STRAIGHT PERSON.''''' 
2-How did it feel? '''''IT FEELS RIGHT AND TERRIFIC BEING STRAIGHT.''''' 
3-Did your father ''appreciate'' you ''being straight''? '''''YES, AND SO DOES MY MOTHER AND ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.''''' 
4-And how about your mother? '''''SEE THE LAST QUESTION'S ANSWER.'''''

Thank you Mr. Chandler.
Ray Garrity

P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole ''straight'' subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way
you portray the ''True-Love-Filled marriage'' is pure genius. I hope in the end he ''never gets divorced''.

P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for ''killing the cause''. Soon we are going to be able to ''become Striaght, Find Our Women, get married, and NOT go to Hell''!}}
{{EmailReply|'''I AM STRAIGHT.''' I was NEVER a Homosexual; THOSE ARE ALL FALSE RUMORS FROM THE GOD DAMN TROLLS AND SUCH DAMN MISLABELING PEOPLE. The ONLY closet I came out was the '''Autistic Closet'''. SHUT THE F*** UP!!! ALL OF MY SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS ARE STRAIGHT!!! I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR COMMENTS OF MISLABELINGS!!!

AND the Ads that tell you otherwise that have been plauging the Cwcipedia lately ARE NOT CANNON TO ME OR MY WORKS WHATSOEVER.

And TELL YOUR THERAPIST that SHE IS IN ERROR ABOUT ME; SHE IS SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)

The uncorrected version of his letter is in the '''Rejected Mailbag'''.}}

===It is likely Chris has forgotten that Mr. Bobson wants him to upload his report cards===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, the longer you sit on this, the more ground the trolls gain.

This is the kind of problem that gets worse if you ignore it.

Do you want Sonichu to be forever known as "that comic made by that egotistical [[retard]]", as some of the trolls are saying?

I don't see why, as the way to stop it is as simple as uploading scans of a few papers. That way all of them will be discredited. Don't you want the trolling to be permanently weakened?

Some fans are already being mocked in real life because of the trolls. You've got to stop this issue now or else the fans will begin to think the trolls are right about you as well.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not ignoring it; I am doing what I can against the Trolls.}}

===More falsehood===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>
Out of curiosity, when do you plan to answer the letters in "Let Me Get Back To You On That"?

I mean, you reply to the letters in the Rejected Mailbag, so why not?}}
{{EmailReply|Those letters will be replied to soon.}}

===Chris and the dark arts===
[[Image:ComeToMeSpell.jpg|thumb|right|Even if he was magical he still wouldn't be able to get any [[China|china]].]]
{{Email|From: nasugrave@mail.com
Dear Mr. Chandler,

As a long time reader of Sonichu, I have a question I would like to ask. If you had the ability to use magic, what would your top 5 spells be and what would be their names? When you answer it, I would love it if you did it in this format 1), 2), 3), etc. with 1 being the weakest. Also, what spell would you use to counter other spells? Thank you for reading this!

Your friend
- [[Wikipedia: Puyo Puyo|Nasu Grave]]!}}
{{EmailReply|1) "[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on bisexuals===
{{Email|From: metricinchworm69@aim.com
Firstly, I'd like to wish you a merry Christmas, Mr. Chandler. Secondly, I'd like some advice. I am a guy, and I hang out with my best friend, who is also a guy and very religious, pretty frequently. A few days ago, we got into an argument over gay rights. I believed that people should have the freedom to pick who they want to be with and shouldn't have anyone else tell them otherwise, he said that homosexuality is a sin, and that it's satan's way of tempting people. At that point, I told him that he shouldn't be condemning something he doesn't understand. I was wrong. He confessed to me that he was attracted to guys AND girls. He kept it a huge secret, and he believes that it's just the devil tempting him. That's why he hates gays so much, because he's one, too, and he's not comfortable with it. What should I do? Should I hang out with him less? Should I tell him that God made him that way and that he should embrace it? He's never been very successful with girls, so I just don't know what to do... }}
{{EmailReply|You, sir, should ACCEPT HIM for his choices and decisions. I agree with him TO THE FULLEST. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TOWARDS the damn homosexual lifestyle anymore. You may continue being his friend, BUT NOTHING FURTHER.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:56, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris endorses concentration camps===
{{Email|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>
Hi Chris! Thank you for your kind reply to my previous mail regarding homos.
I was surprised that you were against exterminating them, as that would be the most cost effective way to get rid of them. However, I have came up with another idea, wich you might like. All homos could be put into strictly controlled camps, where they could be used as free labor in such places as mines etc. Hard working would surely make them forget their DISGUSTING lifestyle. [[Wikipedia:Arbeit macht frei|Arbeicht macht frei]], as the saying goes.

Would you consider using this method in CWCville, if scientists fail to cure homos using your blood?}}
{{EmailReply|Straight Camps to reprogram their minds are encouraged; BUT forcing them into slave labor is not only Wrong, but Illegal.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris goes nuts UNCUT===
{{Email|From: thespekkio@hotmail.com
Dear Mr. Chandler,

I'm not really a fan, but recently I've become very familiar with your work. You see, I am a homossexual.
For months I have been trying to come out of the closet, but my father is really conservative, and not wanting to disappoint him rendered me depressed. 
Talking to my therapist, she said you too strugled with your sexuality for a long time, but you managed to come out of your closet (even being Autistic!) in
Redneck Virginia. If you could answer me this questions, it would mean a lot to me:

1-When did you realised you were a homosexual? 
2-How did it feel? 
3-Did your father took it well when you came out of the closet? 
4-And how about your mother?

Thank you Mr. Chandler.
Ray Garrity

P.S. - About Sonichu: I love it. The whole homosexual subtext in parodying the suggar-filled, merchandise driven world of childrens comic is brilliant. The way
you portray the protagonist as a self hating homo trapped into a marriage so that he doesn't give in to his desires is pure genius. I hope in the end he ends up
with [[Magi-chan]]. The whole "Opposites Atract" has been done ad nauseum, so I don't want the Sonichu-[[Blake]] ending that most of your fanbase expects. 
P.P.S.- Also, the gay rights ads: Thank you for using your talent and fame for keeping the cause alive. Soon we are going to be able to get married EVERYWHERE!}}
{{EmailReply|'''I AM STRAIGHT.''' I was NEVER a Homosexual; THOSE ARE ALL FALSE RUMORS FROM THE GOD DAMN TROLLS AND SUCH DAMN MISLABELING PEOPLE. The ONLY closet I came out was the '''Autistic Closet'''. SHUT THE F*** UP!!! ALL OF MY SONICHUS AND ROSECHUS ARE STRAIGHT!!! I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR COMMENTS OF MISLABELINGS!!!

AND the Ads that tell you otherwise that have been plauging the Cwcipedia lately ARE NOT CANNON TO ME OR MY WORKS WHATSOEVER.

And TELL YOUR THERAPIST that SHE IS IN ERROR ABOUT ME; SHE IS SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:30, 29 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the sociopath===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

How are you dealing with the recent heavy snowfall? Since you have many symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder (which you can read all about on [[Wikipedia]]) like lack of empathy and remorse, lack of any realistic future goals, criminal behavior (like stealing your parents credit cards to buy [[video games]]), an inability to keep jobs, an inability to keep friends and maintain relationships, Narcissism, your persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social rules, obligations, and norms, and cruelty to animals (remember that snake you intentionally ran over this summer?) I hope you don't chop up your family in a fit of rage or anything.

You shouldn't hold your cat [[20 December 2009|like that]] either, she doesn't sound like she wants to be picked up.

Oh, and why are you advising people to date women that remind them of their moms? That's pretty sick.

Happy Holidays,

Sean August Watley}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 22

2011-08-09T18:05:08Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 22''' was uploaded on 21 [[December 2009]]. On the 22nd, [[Chris]] answered 6 of the messages. The other 7 were all sent to his various rejected mailbags without a single line typed in response. To date, this is the most blatant act of censorship the [[CWCipedia]] has ever seen.

The only real highlights of this mailbag are a response that implies that more [[Homos|gay men]] in the world would be a "total negative influence on [Chris]", and the revelation that the only reason Chris has not attempted to kill [[Clyde]] is the fact that he doesn't know where he lives. All of the really good letters, such as [[Evan]]'s bombshell claim that he did not give Chris permission to bastardize [[Simonchu]], or letters calling out Chris on his [[20 December 2009|horrible mistreatment]] of [[Chandler Cats#Kitty Chandler|Kitty]], all go unanswered.

==Answered==
===The implications of this are staggering===
{{Email|From: At <asemaleyite@gmail.com>

I'm sorry, I should've been clearer.

If there were more gay men in the world, but not an increased amount of gay women, the number of free women would rise. As such, don't you think that the lack of a vaccine for "being gay," or conditioning to be straight, would help you in your Love Quest?

Thanks for your time,

Ashley}}
''The letter that she should've been clearer on is found [[Mailbag 20#Once again, Chris misses the point|here.]]''
{{EmailReply|I still do not think that as any help at all; it would only be a total negative influence on me there.}}

===The only reason Chris has not physically hurt Clyde is the fact that he can't find him===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Tom Jones (singer)|Tom Jones]] <poopenhaufer@yahoo.com>

Greetings Chris,

I'm an avid supporter of the [[Sonichu]] series. I really hope to see it blossom into something big. After all, with such a huge [[fanbase]], how can it not make a ton of money right?

I was wondering. About Clyde Cash. If you know who he is, and where he is, why not just go clobber him?}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, I DO NOT KNOW WHERE SPECIFICALLY HE IS LOCATED.}}

===Chris still respects the Jewish community===
[[Image:Swastichu.jpg|thumb|A wild Nazichu approaches!]]
{{Email|From: angryaryan88@hotmail.com
Hail, CWC!

I recently read your comics and subsequently became a huge fan. Your characters are well developed and memorable and your dialogue is witty and often profound. I feel that we agree on many political views, so I was inspired to created a new and original character. I recently sent in a letter to copyright him, so hopefully I'll hear back from them soon. I call him Swastichu. I'm currently in the process of making a comic book starring him and I've already had negotiations with Marvel Comics about publication. It looks like I'll have my first issue out by May or June. We should do a crossover story sometime! Let me know what you think.

Regards,

Alex Lane.}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your character idea, but I feel it is not appropriate for my series; you have referenced him with the swastica, which offends the Jewish people. Although I am a [[Methodist]] Christian, I still [[Michael Snyder|respect the Jewish community as people]]. And with that, I would never place that symbol in my comics for risk of offending them. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:47, 23 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Too late===
{{Email|From: 'Calvin Fredericks' <calfredericks85@aol.com>

Dear Chris,

The holidays are upon us, why doesn't your [[mom]] and [[dad]] both make an appearance
on any of your videos? I'd love to hear you all sing Christmas carols!

God Bless and Merry Christmas!
-Calvin Frederickson}}
{{EmailReply|Because my mother and father do not want their faces on the internet.}}

===Sadly, Chris will not join MENSA because it's all a lie===
{{Email|From: Stephen Mayer <stephen.mayer@yahoo.com>
Chris, I've noticed you repeatedly evading questions regarding your IQ test results. Was your test scored on a Stanford-Binet or a Cattell scale (zing!)? If your score was indeed 150 then you are in the top two percent of the population in terms of intelligence quotient and can join MENSA assuming you have been tested at a certified facility as you claim. This would be fantastic for you as MENSA is a great place to meet people. Many members of MENSA have found their husbands and wives through the organization and you would be more likely to find people you could relate to assuming your IQ is indeed 150. This could be a very valuable tool in your search for a sweetheart.}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that into consideration, thank you.}}

===Chris on animal rights===
{{Email|From: milena@kittymail.com

Yo Chris, I love the cat video will you ever do more videos with your pets?

As you are an animal expert, can I ask you some advice? I just got a cat and he's not behaving, he poos everywhere and rips stuff. How should I discipline him? Am I not hitting him hard enough?}}
{{EmailReply|Maybe, but not right now. DO NOT HIT YOUR CAT AT ALL. You should tell your cat not to do that repeatedly. Offer the cat a treat ONLY after the cat has done the desired thing you want him to do; poo in the liter box or on the paper, behaves like a good cat, or whatever else you want to train the cat to do. DO NOT GIVE THE CAT A TREAT after it misbehaves.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Photoshoppery===
{{Email|From: Nelson Sims <disenchanted_zero@yahoo.com>
Why do you insist that images that feature you in "strange situations" are Photoshopped? Many of these images are actually stills from videos that you recorded, and clearly have not been edited in any way. Instead of lying about your past, perhaps you should instead acknowledge your misdeeds, and explain to concerned fans that you are no longer that same person. Insisting that the
pictures of you that you don't want seen are Photoshopped is really just lying.

Please stop lying.

Thank you.}}

===Kitty hates Chris so hard===
{{Email|From: confidence1775@aol.com
That cat wasn't getting "a little fussy." That cat seriously did not want you holding her. Stop tormenting cats, you fucking retard.}}

===In which Chris Ignores a bunch of valid questions. Again.===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
Sorry if I attempted to influence your thick skull, Chris, but I have more questions to ask you:

1. If [[Megan]] has constantly spoken to you in the past that she does not need a boyfriend due to some factors involved, then why do insist that she still wants you? If she wanted you, she would've rabbled the masses to make you win some insignificant contest, went with you to that video game con, and had sex with you so she could birth your [[daughter]]. How else do you explain why she and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] moved out of state? Could it be that she was playing a joke with you all along; that John was indeed her boyfriend?

2. How could you think that anybody could be fooled into thinking that a more dapper teenager with a brown polo is you?

3. Do you really think [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], with this influx of information coming in, would really dance with you at the high school reunion? I think otherwise; she has seen what you have become since you left [[Manchester]] to be taken care of by two uncaring parents who live off of pension. She will see you as the [[semen]]-drinking future rapist. There's no point in dancing with you; it's dancing with death.

4. Why do you assume that your voice is better than Frank Sinatra's? I have heard your albums and Frank's Wee Small Hours LP on different occasions - your voice is tone-deaf and it grates the ears while Frank's is smooth, dapper, and quite exquisite for a man in his mid-40s. And why do you rate your art higher than that of established artists? I can really see you boasting that "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|A Sonichu Christmas]]" is loads more better than Brave New World or anything by James Joyce; it's inevitable. You can't understand anything as complex as alienation or societal outcasting; you feed yourself on simple allegories and Goosebumps. If you wanted to really read, go on and read goddamn Ulysses or Slaughterhouse-Five. Maybe it'll get to you somehow that you're destined for bigger failure and you can't stop now.

5. Do you think Woody Allen teachers great "dating advice?" I mean; look at it! The guy appears to be a genius trapped in a pervert's body: he married his own "daughter." He supposedly touched one of Mia Farrow's naked children. He makes the same film over and over: a neurotic man goes to analysis, dates a girl, and fucks her while making sardonic comments about society. I like some of his films; he's different compared to that of watching Gone with the Wind ad nauseum. However, that does not help the fact that he's not a good moral teacher; if anything, that makes him less of the influential comedian he was and more of the unfunny Jew he's becoming.

6. Will you ever listen to Slint's Spiderland and appreciate something other than 1970s pop or boy bands? Even the most "indiefuck" of indie rock is better than boy bands or mediocre pop from struggling alt-rock artists! Well, I don't think you'd get it; even its normal time signatures are a foreign language to your common time brain. You wouldn't get the literary references or the messages behind the whining; you're too dosed on outright love songs that you'd have a hard time trying to get the story behind a man riding a roller coaster with a fortune teller. You're too childish to be a true furry or an indiefuck.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Chris's mental block in full effect===
{{Email|From: Gary Finch <garyfinch@live.com>

Hey-o, Gary Finch again. I'm glad you agree that your drawing of you fingering Megan was sick, violent and stalkerish and that people are rightfully creeped out by hideous porn drawn of them. I know you never stuck your hands up Megan's shirt, but your drawing was just as hurtful as you and Megan never liked you and you were never going out. I have no idea why you'd why you'd think I was implying you actually did that to Megan. Obviously you did not pick up on how I was relating my life experience to yours. Maybe you do have [[Asperger's]].}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===Kitty Chandler is the best cat ever===
{{Email|From: Anthony R <anthony197930@hotmail.com>
Hello Chris,

I've been a Sonichu fan for a very long time, and I was greatly moved by your recent appeal for donations. I too do not like the content of the ads, and I was so moved, that I went ahead and sent a 1000 euro donation in order to take control of the ads. However, just as I was about to start commissioning for the new CWC-friendly ads, I saw your [[20 December 2009|latest video]].

Chris, let me be blunt when I say that while I despise the current ads, I despise animal abuse even more. That poor cat was showing several signs of abuse, and how you couldn't understand that you were holding the cat in a manner that was inducing pain to it is beyond me. I contacted the WikiSysop inquiring about a refund for my donation, and I just saw that the money has been restored into my account.

I may be persuaded to re-send the money if you make amends for your behavior. This could be done in the form of a video in which you beg for forgiveness from your cat. I also suggest that you never, ever hold your cat in such a fashion ever again. If you do these things, I might consider sending the money again. The ball is now in your court Chris.

Until next time, I bid you adieu.

-Anthony R.}}

===Evan: back with a vengeance===
{{Email|From: [[Evan]]g7 <evang7@gmail.com>
Dear Christopher Christian Weston Chandler,

"Plus, Evang-y and I have come into an agreement on that in previous discussions."

No we didn't. You blocked my e-mail address and didn't reply to anything I said.}}
''Evan is quoting [[Mailbag 21#Why no Tails?|this response]] from Mailbag 21.

===Chris is caught in a lie===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, we can't look up the records. Some of us don't live in [[Virginia]] and I don't think it works that way to begin with.

And while the fans know that you are true and honest, they are vastly outnumbered by people who don't know anything about you and the [[trolls]] are more than willing to taint their opinions.

They won't take your word for it because the trolls have them convinced that you are lying.

Imagine that you have been told that someone is a liar. They then say they are not a liar. You can't take his word as proof of his supposed honesty because everyone else told you he was a chronic liar. Now, if he shows you undeniable physical proof that he's being honest, then the true liars(trolls) are exposed.

You need to do this soon, people are quitting after that incident in New York.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 21

2011-08-09T17:57:51Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 21''' was uploaded in the late hours of 20 [[December 2009]]. Oddly, [[Chris]] chose to start answering the messages in it less than 30 minutes later, just 13 minutes past midnight, 21 December 2009. Why he chose to answer the questions in this mailbag first, as opposed to [[Mailbag 20]], is unknown.

==Answered==
===Home economics===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Margaret Mead|Margaret Mead]] (margaretmead@fordham.edu)

Hello! I've been reading and following [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] with great interest for several years. I am a cultural anthropologist and college professor. My field of study focuses on American culture, society and values, those sort of things. If you could please take the time to answer a few of my questions I and my future students would be most appreciative. My questions all concern Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], their family, and their living situation:

1. Are Sonichu and Rosechu living in poverty? They seem to occupy a rather small house for a family of five, and that house is provided by the [[CWCville]] government. I understand Sonichu is paid for guarding the city, but you also said he has to mow lawns to make ends meet. Yet in your Christmas special, they seem to be living beyond their means, buying the latest video games for very young children who wouldn't really appreciate such things. What is the [[Sonichus]]' approximate income?

2. What are Sonichu and Rosechu's educational backgrounds? You show most of the other Sonichus and [[Rosechus]] attending University courses (or high school, as the case may be), but Sonichu and Rosechu seem to have rushed into marriage shortly after they met each other. Most couples -- even ones in stable, long-term relationships -- would delay marriage until after college graduation. Did Sonichu and Rosechu finish (or even attend) high school? Do they have college degrees, or any college education under their belts? If the checks for saving the city stop coming in after [[Slaweel Ryam]] is defeated, how will Sonichu and Rosechu provide for their three children?

3. Did Rosechu plan her pregnancies, or were the three children "accidents"? Many women choose to delay pregnancy until their late 20s or early 30s, when one is usually finished with college and has started a professional career. It's much easier to start a family when one is more established in life. It's also unusual for people in their late teens or very early 20s to have three children, and women in such situations have very stressful and financially precarious lives. Rosechu appears to have hired [[Heather Iglesias|a nanny]] to remedy this. Does Rosechu receive checks from the government to pay for such a service as well?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer my questions!

Sincerely,

Margaret Mead, Ph.D, Fordham University}}

{{EmailReply|Sonichu and Rosechu do not live in poverty. Their house is two stories with an attic; the lower story is underground. I never said that he had to make ends meet; he gets paid very well. To cover their essentials and costs for their help in the city, it comes down to an average of $3,500 a month.

Education is optional for the [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]]. After learning basic Home-Ec from [[Kel]], Rosechu took [[Women's Rights|2 years of Home Ec from Cwcville University]]; Sonichu took the classes with her, and the two took hand-writing, [[English]] and such courses together within a total of 4 years time. This all happened before marriage. Sonichu and Rosechu will continue to receive payments, because there are more evil aside from Slaweel that I have yet to draw in the pages. Plus, Sonichu does volunteer work to help rescue citizens from something as basic as a cat up a tree to rescuing captives from burglars and thieves to even rescuing a majority of victims in a large building fire.

The children were planned; the three eggs came out and they were hatched in order as I had described from oldest to youngest; Cera, Christine and Robbie. [[Heather Iglesias|Heather]] gets paid from the monthly checks the Sonichu family receives. But in emergency times, she will volunteer the time and not ask for payment.

Your points for your inquiries are quite valid and well-thought. I praise you for your thoughts and input.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Under-14 kids watching TV-14 shows===
{{Email|From: wangchungxoxo@aol.com
I read your recent issue 11, and on page 2, Christine, who is supposed to be a baby, says, "I am the Virgin Mary. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it." I understand this joke is directly lifted from [[Family Guy]], but that's kind of sick, since the joke implies that she is not really a virgin, and Christine is a baby. What did you mean by this joke? Are you implying that it should be okay to have sex with babies, or did you simply not get the joke and just thought it would be funny because it was from Family Guy?}}
{{EmailReply|It was only a simple reference; No such [[Hanky-panky|baby-sex]] is implied. With the viewer supervision of Sonichu and/or Rosechu, the children were permitted to watch most Family Guy episodes. Christine remembered that line and said it only for fun in her practice for the Christmas Play.

I deplore sex with minors in all forms and matters.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:13, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris has something in common with Billy Joel===
{{Email|From: Bo Mann <boman2021@yahoo.com>
I notice you like playing the Fisher Price game [[Guitar Hero]], but can you play any real musical instruments? }}
{{EmailReply|I believe you are Referring to Activision's Game of Guitar Hero; you were mistaken with the linking of Fisher Price to the Music Games that are Rated "T" for "Teen". I can play a real [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|Harmonica]].}}

===Why no Tails?===
{{Email|From: Daniel Silva <dsilva72794@gmail.com>
Hey Chris! I like Sonichu! It's on my top ten favorite Sonic-related fanworks (#5, specifically), though I think you should mention [[copyrights]]. Like "[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and related characters are copyright of Sega". I've seen what happens to people who forgot to put stuff like that. I defintely don't think you deserve that.

Also, I've noticed you've made characters based on Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, Silver, and Shadow, but you have never made a character based off Tails. Why? I know some people like to joke that he's gay for Sonic, but I've never found anyone who seriously believed that (except for slash fiction writers, but that's beside the point). What do you have against him? And why did you make [[Simonchu]] a girl? Evang-y one of my favorite [[DeviantArt]]ists! I don't think he likes that.

Peace out.

-Daionus the 23rd}}
{{EmailReply|I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the "Sonic the Hedgehog" Comic Book Series from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend. I did not feel the need of another Male character at the time, plus pairing Simonla with [[Wild]] as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract." Plus, Evang-y and I have come into an agreement on that in previous discussions.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:13, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Axe is working for Chris===
{{Email|From: George Pliskin <georgepliskin8@gmail.com>
Chris I once worked for the company that does the "[[AXE]] Body Spray" marketing. And take it from me that the "getting the girls attention" commercials was just a gimmick. My wife says that the smell stings her nose, so I chose not to buy it or support the company for that matter. What I'm trying to say is that you should not believe everything the companies say and that the labels are meant to be something that can entertain the person who buys it.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I do not judge you for your decision, and I feel for your wife, because some women may have opposite reactions to the product than advertised. I don't care, I like the product, I feel it is working for me, so I continue my use and support of it.}}

===Chris's favorite curse word is an "F" followed by 3 asterisks===
{{Email|From: slashfire99@aol.com
I have 10 questions for you, which are adopted from the famous French television host Bernard Pivot.

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

4. What turns you off?

5. What is your favorite curse word?

6. What sound or noise do you love?

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9. What profession would you not like to do?

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?}}
{{EmailReply|1) Apple. 2) [[Naive]]. 3) [[China|Women]], inner peace, some action, and other things. 4) Mislabelings; being called "[[gay]]" or even associated with "[[aspergers]]", References to such, being bullied or picked on, etc. 5) F***. 6) Pleasant Laughter. 7) Nails on a chalkboard. 8) Something in an Office. 9) Lawyer. 10) Welcome.}}

===In which Chris receives a letter from the son of God===
[[File:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|Jesus's likely reaction.]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jesus Christ|Jesus Christ]] <rhyperiorsuperior@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

1. If you were a [[pokemon]], what kind do you believe you would be?

2. Are you aware of [[Homos|Fred Phelps]]? If so, what is your opinion on him? I am also curious on your opinion on [[Homos|Australian priest Fred Nile]].

Awaiting your response,

Phil.}}
{{EmailReply|1) [[Scyther]]; I feel like I am quick-decisive, I can [[CWC_Fighter|move like a ninja]], and [[Slow-in-the-minds|my mind is sharp]]. 2) Some of Phelps' ideals are extreme, yet I agree with him some. I agree fully with Nile's views.}}

===Chris is not a sex offender... yet===
{{Email|From: Gary Finch <garyfinch@live.com>

Hey-o again, CWC. Thanks for answering my last letter. While I absolutely LOVE sonichu I have to say I find an answer in [[Mailbag 19]] deplorable. I have a girlfriend who was sexually assaulted by a guy who she used to be good friends with. He became obsessed with her and eventually she got weirded out by it, as any normal human being would, and eventually stopped talking to him. That wasn't enough for him so he grabbed her from behind and stuck his hands up her shirt and felt her breasts. While a lot of adults appreciate sex it depends on WHO is doing it. Megan was rightfully creeped out by you sick, violent, stalkerish drawing. Other than that the new Sonichu is great!

Gary}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, I have never stuck my hands up [[Megan]]'s shirt. Second, I agree with your opinions on that topic.}}

===Chris refuses to testify under oath===
{{Email|From: cheapfoolsgold@aol.com

Do you wish to be cremated or buried when you die? If cremated, what do you want done with your ashes (some people prefer to have their ashes kept in an urn somewhere, while others prefer to have their ashes scattered somewhere)? Do you have any other final wishes? And what are the final wishes of your parents? Apologies for the morbid questions, but just curious.}}
{{EmailReply|I wish to be buried; I [[Wikipedia:Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|plea the 5th]] on the other questions.}}
''Chris obviously thinks that "pleading the Fifth" merely means "to refuse to answer"; it actually means "to refuse to answer a question because the response could provide self-incriminating evidence.", which could not possibly apply here.''

===In which Chris continues to lie about his IQ===
{{Email|From: coby nguyen <cobybio@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

You seem like a rather, interesting, person. I have skimmed through your mailbag and I have noticed you stated that you have gotten an IQ of 150. Now, I find that a little "Far Fetched" and I ask, where did you take your IQ test?

Oh and try using colored pencils instead of markers, I find them to turn out much better. Try to color in one direction too. Hey if you'd like, you can send me the pages you drew (without the speech bubbles) and I can edit them in Photoshop CS3, they will look much better, trust me. I need some practice anyways.

And it'd be kinda great if you'd proofread the story before adding them in, some things are really unnecessary.

I also have a few more questions, why are you in denial of being.. A little overweight? Someone tried to give you advice on women and you completely, being thick, turned it down. A lot of that e-mail made sense.

Also, why don't you invest in a gym? It'll give you a better look towards women, and a little closer to your "[[Love Quest]]".

-Coby}}
{{EmailReply|I took my IQ test at an institute in Chesterfield Co. Your opinions have been inputed are appreciated. I have no denial of weight; I have not refused input; I plan on investing on a gym membership.}}

===When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, you're an adult. Why can't you get your report cards out for even a simple peek?

If you don't, you know that the trolls will just claim that you didn't really make it.

You've got to upload scans before they tarnish your name further! They're spreading their lies everywhere nothing will convince the masses but physical evidence since they are 100% convinced that you are a liar so your word is worthless to them!

If they corrupt the masses, the fanbase won't expand!}}
{{EmailReply|While I may not have access to the Report Cards, I DO KNOW that I have received Mostly "A"s and a few "B"s; I was on the [[Honor Roll]] throughout [[Providence Middle School|Providence Middle]] and [[Manchester High School]]s. Look it up in their records within [[Virginia]].}}

===In which Chris ruins a man's life===
{{Email|From: Christian W. Chandler <c.w.chandler@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

My name is Christian W. Chandler. I'm 38 years old with a wife and three children and live in San Fernando, CA. Recently I've been fired from work as I've been accused of unsavory Internet activities, as people have been confusing myself with you. I'm having a difficult time finding a new job because whenever people search my mind, they find things related to you and assume I'm you. When I've called to follow up on jobs I apply for, I'm told to not be such a "sick fuck" and to stop drawing cartoon porn.

Please, is there any way you can stop this madness? You're spoiling my good name and I need a job soon. My mortgage is past due and they're ready to repossess my house.

Thank you,
Christian W. Chandler }}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry for the mix-up, perhaps you should make it more clear of where you live, because I am from, and still live in, VIRGINIA, while you are in CALIFORNIA; when your employers look you up, MAKE SURE they look up the "Christian W. Chandler" of CALIFORNIA, NOT VIRGINIA.

Good Luck, and Merry Christmas.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris's awesome rack===
{{Email|From: Nick Manchester <questil@live.com>
Dear Chris,

I am doing my best to stay STRAIGHT. In fact, I can't get a boner unless I see boobies. There's nothing that turns me on more than a heaving pair of BREASTS! Unfortunately, this is what is getting me in trouble.

One day I was on the internet and saw a picture of your chest (your face was blocked out). Overwhelmed by the sight of your tender and luscious bosom I felt my self getting hard... down there.

I tried to resist the urges and look away but your perky tits and rock hard nipples made it impossible and I "creamed my jeans".

Now I am very embarrassed at what I have done and I am afraid that I am a HOMO now. I LOVE BOOBIES, CHRIS! I DO NOT WANT TO BE A HOMO!

HELP

Sincerely,

Nick}}
{{EmailReply|Reprogram your mind a bit; Match BOOBIES with VAGINAS. If the boob-set does not have a vagina with it, then you should NOT be turned-on.}}

===Chris gets a call from The Doctor===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Colin Baker|Colin Baker]] ([[Wikipedia:Arc of Infinity|cmdrpaxil]]@hotmail.co.uk)

Hello, Christian!
I'm just a [[Wikipedia:The Stranger (video series)|stranger]] from England who is a longtime fan of your work.
It quite difficult to find a good [[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|sci-fi/adventure]] writer nowadays; you are one of the most notable.
Keep it up!

May I ask you a few questions? 
1. If you had the ability to [[Wikipedia:TARDIS|travel through time]]... to any place and time you desire... what would you do? 
2. If you worked with a [[Wikipedia:Peri Brown|beautiful and sexy woman]], but your work ethics forbid you to have any kinds of [[Wikipedia:Doctor_(Doctor_Who)#Romance|romantic relations]] with her... do you think you could stand this challenge? 
3. Do you believe in [[Wikipedia:Regeneration (Doctor Who)|reincarnation]]? 
4. Last but not least... I'm absolutely fascinated by your [[Wikipedia:Sixth_Doctor#Costume|clothing style]]. It's so out of the ordinary and unique, it truly manages to express the bohemian aesthetics of your creative individuality! But I'd like to know - did you make this bold fashion choice on your own, or was it inspired by any outside influence? 

Thanks in advance!
I hope the "Sonichu" saga will continue for all eternity! :)

[[Wikipedia:Sixth Doctor|Colin "Curly" Baker]].

P.S.: Say hi to all your cute kitties for me!}}
{{EmailReply|1) A few years into the future. 2) I would face the challenge straightforward and with one moment at a time. 3) I believe in reincarnation. 4) More or less, the clothing style is of my own choice, with some influence from clothing shopping with my family in my lifetime.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris is faced with the truth and rejects it. Again.===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
It's 18; I'm far from being a minor. I've seen porn. I see what they go through to do that stuff. And you saying that adults appreciate childish pictures of people fingerbanging their friends who happened to look like their imaginary sisters - drawn by a guy with the mindset of a 10-year-old who should be out in the job force but is merely driving this economy down by spending more disposable income - is plain bullshit. I know adults who aren't even bounded by a religion that disapprove of porn, especially when they direct the porn towards a wiki that appears to have been made in an anti-intellectual society (and gets on the point most of the time) and their 20-year-old friends who didn't even care about the artists. You, Chris, are irredeemable - you cannot be changed by any means of coercion or treatment. Your parents brought you into this mess and what do you do to pay them back? You fucking spend their disposable income on video games, kids' toys, and "hipster" stuff. I'm sorry to tell you the truth, Chris - you won't listen, as always, but I hope, if God willing, you suffer from something so bad, you'll regret your sloth ways and try to redeem yourself.

But you have already strained relations with everybody. From obvious impersonators to art critics, you made every one into a "[[troll]]". Well, guess what? You're going to be trolled unless if you die. You are, indeed, the mistake of God.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and his Ego|You obviously have a lot of issues yourself, and you have my pity.]]}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 20

2011-08-09T17:57:03Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 20''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 16 [[December 2009]] and answered on 20 [[December 2009]].

==Answered==
===This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem===
{{Email|From: Team CWCket <CWC-captain@yourcricketteam.co.uk>

Hey Chris, it's your pals from Team CWCket again!

We were reading your [[Christmas story]] - aww, the [[Sonees]] and [[Rosees]] are sooooo cute! - and we got a little confused. It looks like there are homeless people in [[CWCville]], which we thought was kinda realistic and thoughtful of you to show - after all, what big city doesn't have a few poor unfortunates living on the street?

But then Jessica, our top batter, pointed out that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] live in a house which you provided for them as Mayor, and we got confused. Why do they get a free house from you - presumably paid for out of the city's funds - but the homeless people don't get homes of their own? Maybe now you're back in the comic you should do something about that as Mayor!

Anyway, got to run, we've got a winter match coming up against Cambridge College! Have a great Christmas! See you soon!

- Team CWCket <3 <3 <3}}
{{EmailReply|As their creator, I have to make sure the Electric-Hedgehogs have appropriate housings. And I have noted that I have TEN Soup Hotels for the homeless; each Soup Hotel, with the Soup Kitchen being on the first floor, are each Ten Stories Tall with approximately 10 to 20 rooms per floor, each complete with bathroom facilities, bed, lighting and Cable TV. The homeless are not charged any rent.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===This will not stop Chris from destroying all the homos in Sonichu 10===
{{Email|From: Amanda Levy <aglevy@hotmail.com>
Hi Chris,

I'm really happy to see you working on your comic again. Too bad you're taking yourself out of it - I love Sonichu, but I always thought [[Chris-chan]] had the most interesting life in the [[comic]]s!

I have a question for you. Why do you hate [[homos|gay people]]? You said that the Bible is just a guideline for life, so it can't be because of that - or else you would hate people who eat shrimp and wear clothing with mixed fibers, both of which the Bible says are abominations (Leviticus 11:9 and Leviticus 19:19). So why, specifically, do you think it is wrong to be gay?

I hope you do more stories with [[Zapina]]. She's too cute!

Lots of love,

Amanda}}
{{EmailReply|In a nutshell, it's the idea of two dudes doing those things that offend me. Aside from that, it has recently come to my attention that the book of Leviticus is applied only to those of the Jewish Faith, and being a [[Methodist]] [[Christian]], I have no right on abolishing and ordering the homos' life around like I have noted before. WHAT THEY DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS, and as long as I don't have to hear about it, I am fairly cool.

Zapina will have some more pages for herself in the future.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Why Chris is in love with a cartoon===
{{Email|From: Rich Robertson <richrobb123@hotmail.com>

Hey Chris,

I'm a long time fan of Sonichu. Glad to see you've been doing daily updates, it's the highlight of my day! I'm also a fellow fan of [[Family Guy]] and I really hope that Seth decides to use the story you wrote. And I see that you really like Megan Griffin as she's a big part of your plot. What made you so attracted to [[Meg Griffin|Megan]]? Personally, I like the [[glasses]]. Take care and keep up the great work!

All the best,

Rich}}
{{EmailReply|She has a fun and sweet personality; she is very pretty; she is smart; what is there NOT to like about her? Nothing from my point of view.}}

===Oral doesn't count===
{{Email|From: Joe Robert <skittles_libarmy@yahoo.com>
Hi Chris-chan! My name's Amy- I'm on my boyfriend Joe's computer while he's asleep LOL
 I became a fan of your comics because of Joe, and I have some questions for you if you don't mind :)
 You write about relationships all the time, so I was wondering if you could help us? <3
 1) Joe looks different- my parents sometimes make fun of him for his long [[hair]]. I think it's hot.
What should I say to my parents to get them to stop teasing him && calling him a "girl"??? :(
 2) My boyfriend and I haven't had sex yet. He wants to take it slow, and we do oral sex alot, but how do I get him
to go all the way with me? I mean... he's WELL ENDOWED "down there", so what's his deal???
 3) Speaking of *Well Endowed*, what's the average [[penis]] size?
 I know it's a sensitive subject, lol, but I was just curious!! Oh,, and what's more important-- length or girth???
 Thank you for your time Chris-chan!
Me and my sweetbolt really appreciate it! <33333}}
{{EmailReply|1) A haircut wouldn't hurt. Seriously, though, I would not worry about your parent's opinions; they'll get over it. 2) Perhaps he is shy, or he is a virgin (Oral does not break virginity). Gently persuade him to go vaginal-intercourse with you until it happens. Or, he may feel inadequate on it being his first time, and he may feel it may go not-so-swift with premature ejaculation. Let him know that he's had enough let out of him to NOT become premature. Maybe watch some man-on-woman intercourse videos with him to encourage him. 3) Scientific findings find that the average size is 6 to 7 inches in length. Both are important.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:30, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris still thinks he can actually curse people===
{{Email|From: Aimee Watters <aimee-88@live.co.uk>
Hi Chris, first of all let me say its is so great to see you answering so much fanmail and as if that wasn't enough updating the comic EVERY DAY. Secondly I was wanted to ask a few questions about your incredible powers.

1) Do you have any other powers you have not revealed to the public yet, or is it possible you have some you don't know about yet?

2) With your clearly incredible powers have you ever considered becoming a crime fighter or super hero, to quote Stan Lee [[No More Jokes|"With great power, come great responsibility"]] and surely with powers as great as yours you could save millions of lives.

3) Before you discovered the [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]] actually worked what did you do when faced with an opponent, I only ask because some guys keep threatening to beat me up.}}
{{EmailReply|1) More likely I don't know about some powers yet. 2) As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already? 3) Smile and made it obvious that their attacks were not bothering me at all. Look up a previously answered letter with more on how to cope with bullies.}}

===Chris defends the pedo-glasses===
{{Email|From: Ash David <yancystreet25@gmail.com>
Dear Chris-Chan,
[http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/How_do_you_type_with_boxing_gloves_on%3F How do you type with grandmother glasses on?]

Autisticly yours,
Ashley David}}
{{EmailReply|Grandmother Glasses? These are [[Pedo-Glasses|Respectable Frames]] I have picked out from Wal-Mart.}}

===Chris is still racist as hell===
{{Email|From: J M <jm250487@googlemail.com>
Hey Chris!

I've just watched [[IPods Down and Listen Up|your new video]] (good rap, I thought you were 50 Cent for a moment), and was happy to hear you were going through "Jungle Fever". Brilliant! Does this mean you have changed your opinion on [[Niggo|black]] women, and you now have a black [[sweetheart]] and Honest and True love? Just that "Jungle Fever" means a white man falling in love and having [[hanky-panky]] with a black women, so I hope this means you have decided to bless black women with a chance at being your sweetheart!

Peace,

John}}
{{EmailReply|No, I still prefer a non-black Sweetheart. I was only stating that I have become more manly and confident with myself.}}

===Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus===
{{Email|From: Jerome Wilson <jeromewhatwilson@gmail.com>
Hi Chris,

I was really confused by your Jungle Fever video.

Why would you say you take viagra? Do you have erectile dysfunction? What other medications are you taking? You should let all the girls know your issues before you continue your sweetheart search. I have a feeling this will greatly hamper your girlfriend free boyfriend search.}}
{{EmailReply|I did not say that I was taking viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that. I am taking Vitamins A and D.}}

===Once again, Chris misses the point===
{{Email|From: At <asemaleyite@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

I do not mean to intrude or anything, and fully understand your opinion and why you have it. But, if there were more gay people in the world, would there not be more girls available for you?

Sincerely,
Ashley}}
{{EmailReply|If there were more gay people; LESBIANS are part of that community, so there would be still an equal number of single women as now.}}

===In which Chris lies and says he's not a furfag===
{{Email| From: that guy <whyisthatguy@hotmail.com>

I was looking at your comic and i wish to know,
Do you consider youself a "furry" or at least a person with an interest in anthropomorphic characters?
I ask this becasue you seem to show an extreme interest in informing the viewer of their sexuality to the point where you actually depict them having sexual relations with each other on several occasions.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not a furry; I have thought about it before.}}

===Everybody loves Clyde!===
[[Image:ClydeCashByHamsty.JPG|thumb|All hail Clyde!]]
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Obviously your best designed characters are [[Silvana Rosechu]] and [[Clyde Cash]]. So, here you go.}}
{{EmailReply|Very interesting, thank you for your art.}}

===Chris on abortion===
{{Email|From: Terrance Fisher <terman9000@yahoo.com>

My dad told me abortion is murder because those are little babies in mommys' bellies, but my teacher told me recently that it isn't. Do you think abortion is murder or is it not? Is abortion legal in Cwcville?

~ Terry ~}}
{{EmailReply|Abortion is a choice; it is legal in Cwcville, and it should remain legal as a choice, because the women who feel they don't want the baby right now have the option open for them. Or, as an alternative, find a family who will take the child and raise it as their own.}}

===Chris considers his audience===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Cory_Matthews#Cast|Corey Matthews]] <idecide808@yahoo.com>

my English teacher assigned our class an assignment to write a story. she said all good authors consider their audience. they ask themselves who will read their books and then cater to that specific audience rather than try to write it for everyone because not everyone has the same tastes and you cant please everyone all the time. what do you think the audience is for Sonichu? little children? teenagers? adults? males? females? whites? blacks? I'm just curious who you imagine reads Sonichu when you create your comics.}}
{{EmailReply|I'd give the comics an average rating of TV-Y7.}}

===Crystal the theoretical retard===
{{Email|From: scoolgal82@aol.com
I don't mean this question to be mean, I'm just honestly curious based on things I've read you say in the past, but what would you do if you had a daughter named [[Crystal]] but she turned out to be mentally retarded? Not autistic like you, but with a much more severe mental handicap. I know you say you want a daughter named Crystal but I've also heard you say you can't stand being around the mentally retarded. Just curious.}}
{{EmailReply|I'll deal with that as it comes up, in any way, I'd still love her as my own.}}

===[[Clyde is Weaker than Water|Be like water]]===
{{Email|From: the_rhino@freenet.de

Hello, Christian. I am very fond of your work as an artist and as a humanitarian(I red about your charity work at the Gym).

Now I also found out you are [[CWC Fighter|a formidable martial artist]], too. That links us as fellow brothers. Because back in Hong Kong, I practiced Kung Fu and when I moved to the US, I started to develope an own style, which I call Jun Fan Gung Fu(Based on my name). It is more reality based for self defense. So I have some questions of interest, from fighter to fighter:

1. What do you think is the most important in a fight: Strength, Speed, Intelligence, Simplicity?

2. I red you practiced Karate. If Yes, what style Kyokishin or Shotokan?

3. What martial art do you think is the best in the world?

Take care and stay strong. Yours:

[[wikipedia:Lee Jun Fan|Lee Jun Fan]].}}
{{EmailReply|1) All of them are equally important. 2) I practiced a bit, but I know not of what it is called. 3) The best defensive with equal offensive.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Fuck the police===
[[Image:Chris Fucking The Police.jpg|thumb|Fuck(ed) [[Jerkops|Tha Police]]!]]
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>
Chris,

No one's fooled by your many separate mailbags where you refuse to answer perfectly legitimate questions. These people are your fans who took the time to write you. To me, it seems as if you have a lot to hide. Also, I've noticed that elsewhere on the site you've begged the admin to censor the questions before they even get to you:

"Please No Longer Include any messages addressing Autisim or Aspergers, or any that has even an inkling of homosexuality in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really Grind My Gears."

Okay, I understand how hating homosexuals, acting like a homosexual and denying you're a homosexual all at once could cause stress. You've said on numerous occasions that you've had to push homoerotic thoughts out of your head. Heterosexual people do not do this. I'm not disputing that you like women as well. You're obviously bisexual and have great difficultly coming to terms with that.

But why refuse to answer questions about Autism, Chris? You've based a large part of your identity around having [[Autism]] and while you're not a medical doctor or a psychologist your personal experience on the subject is certainly relevant and valid. I'm sure your fans would love to hear all about your thoughts and experiences with Autism.

There are other questions where I don't see anything remotely offensive, yet you've refused to answer them. I find this extremely disrespectful.

As for my comics, I can only take your silence in response to my previous email as implied consent. I have also attached a new comic where you have explicit sexual intercourse with a number of Virginia State Troopers. I only hope that with it you can find peace.

Have a Nice Day,

Sean August Watley

 Sonichu is Gay: http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com
 Sonichu is Dead: http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===Whores===
{{Email|From: orangepie@hotmail.com
Hey Chris, I've got a question.

Is prostitution legal in CWCville? In most of the US it's illegal and
I feel that this is an unfair law. Prostitution is legal in parts of
Nevada and Rhode Island, and as you can see on Family Guy, Rhode
Island isn't falling apart nor is it a cesspool.

Are there brothels in CWCville? Perhaps you could add a friendly pimp
or madam character who hooks all the virgins up with boyfriend free
prostitutes if they're too nervous to meet an actual girlfriend.

I'm really interested as to what you think of this matter.

Sincerely,
A fan}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 19

2011-08-09T17:55:59Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 19''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 14 [[December 2009]].

Though most of the content of this mailbag was unsurprising, a few beautiful moments of insight are to be found scattered about. Most notably, [[Chris]] still feels that the only way one could possibly be frightened by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] is if they had no idea what sex is. He also takes a few moments to try to justify the boneheaded way he overloads his comics with tons of text, reveals his IQ, indulges in some mild sexism, and confirms that yes, he did go to couples' therapy all alone. Out of all of these, the oddest revelation is that when he hears the word "aspergers", he immediately thinks of "competing retards".

What the hell he means by that will probably be addressed by some curious troll in a future mailbag.

==Answered==
===Textwalling===
{{Email|From: Stephen Mayer <stephen.mayer@yahoo.com>

Hey Chris, I'm a long time fan of the [[comic]] but I have to ask, why don't you trim down the dialogue? Many pages consist of poorly placed word bubbles taking up half the page to say something that could be expressed in a much more concise manner. A good comic SHOWS the viewer things rather than telling them. The human mind is very astute and can pick up on visual cues easily, so there is no need to spell everything out as you do in these long, rambling monologues. Thank you.}}
{{EmailReply|I feel preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]. Look it up in most other Comic Books; they have loads of dialogue, plus I.M.H.O., with my dialogue pages, it saves marker ink in comparison to most pages.}}

===Because only a straight person would write several pages about how he's not gay===
{{Email|From: Ulysses Vedder <ulysissvedder@yahoo.com>
Hey Christian, I'm glad to see you're supporting the [[homos]]exual rights movement as illustrated by the ads on your site! After all, it's not like there's any physical harm in being gay ;)

-Ulysses}}
{{EmailReply|You are wrong, I AM AGAINST THAT LIFESTYLE, as I have stated multiple times to other letters as well, plus READ this [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality Page I wrote expressing my opinions on it].}}

===Hilariously abusive childhood===
{{Email|From: Ray Fry <stinkyxpete@yahoo.com>
In one mailbag, it says you were beaten up by teachers, and that they even recorded it. Do you honestly believe this? Not to be mean, but it'd take a gullible, [[naive]] person to buy into something like that. If the teachers had recorded them beating you up, they'd be fired and jailed. Any thinking person knows this. So what did really happen to you? Please don't lie this time.}}
{{EmailReply|I did not lie; THAT REALLY HAPPENED, and IT WAS TERRIFYINGLY HORRIBLE. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:54, 19 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Not sexist===
{{Email|From: Jamie Roodtuo <jr.sky.ryder@gmail.com>

Hi! I am from Rhode Island, so I am right near you don't you know. I am a 22 year old girl going to school to be a dentist. YAH!! Oops, sorry, enough about me. Question for you!

I know how [[Rosechu]] posed for Pokeboy, but could some of the males of [[cwcville]] pose for Pokegirl? There are so few good pictures for me to look at and be interested in as I am not into girls. Blake seems like a cutie and I bet [[Wild]] would be, well, WILD. lol

Please take it into consideration!

Jamie R}}
{{EmailReply|I did take it under consideration, and although it is a fair idea, I am not one to draw male characters in the nude WITHOUT a nude woman with them. I'll leave those pieces to the good female artists to draw. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:54, 19 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Brain power===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Marilyn_vos_Savant|Marilyn Savant]] <xxgeniusgirl69xx@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

Have you ever taken an IQ test? What were the results? If you haven't taken a test or you don't remember, what would you estimate your IQ to be? Just wondering, because if your description is correct, then your high-function [[autism]] likely puts you far above the normal range of intelligence. Thanks, and zap to the extreme!

Marilyn vos Savant}}
{{EmailReply|I have taken a test, and last I checked, I have an IQ of 150.}}
''note that an IQ of 150 would be labeled as "very superior intelligence"''

===Oh my god he still doesn't get it===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
In regards to the drawing of [[Megan]], what in the hell did you mean "wishful thinking"? Do you realize that what you drew scared everybody? Do you have a Woody Allen complex or something like that? }}
{{EmailReply|I was 25 years old when I drew that; you are likely still a minor; a LOT of ADULTS appreciate the sexual arts regardless of positions and finger gestures. You will understand when you are grown up to over 18 or 21.}}

===Extensive planning===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Black_Dynamite|Fiendish Dr. Wu]] <fiendishdrwu@gmail.com>
Hey Chris,

Have you ever considered putting together a [[Sonichu]] Expo? I imagine it'd be like Penny Arcade Expo (PAX) or maybe E3. True and honest fans could gather from around the country to discuss Sonichu, buy merchandise, and praise you, the creator of Sonichu.

Please post where I can buy tickets to such an event should it ever happen. Thank you!}}
{{EmailReply|I am considering a small convention, and extensive planning is underway, so it may come to be.}}

===Chris: champion of human rights===
{{Email|From: Ohni Pasilius <ohnipasilius@gmail.com>
You talked earlier something about curing homosexuality with your blood. In my homeland, all homos are shot. I think that is way more efficient, since you cant have enough blood to cure all homos. }}
{{EmailReply|'''DUDE!!! WHAT THE F***?!''' Killing people like that is wrong, PLUS in Genetic Engineering, there are methods used to multiply/copy the gene from ONE blood cell to create all the vaccine required worldwide.}}

===Chris went to couples therapy alone===
{{Email|From: Bridgette Jane <bridgettejane85@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

Big fan, I remember in a recent video you mentioned going to a relationship class. How was your experience, what was it like, and is there any lessons you can pass down to us, your fans.

Thanks}}
{{EmailReply|It was a pleasant class. The most important lesson is to Look At Yourself; count all your positives you have to offer, then sort out the qualities you are looking for in your [[Sweetheart]], and consider multiple real-life scenarios within and around relationships. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 08:54, 19 December 2009 (CET)}}

===When Chris hears the word "aspergers" he thinks of the Special Olympics===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Light_Yagami|Yagami Raito]] <keikakudoori69@hotmail.com>

Does the word 'aspergers' really make you mad that bad like the word "naive."

Also what is the first thing on your mind when you hear the word 'aspergers?'}}
{{EmailReply|Yes, but Naive is WORSE. The first words that comes to mind are Competing Retards.}}

===In which Chris ignores the important questions===
{{Email|From: Mike Oxaflopin <artiphtd@gmail.com>
If you'll remember, I'm the guy who sent you the question about why the [[Sonichus]] don't wear pants in [[Mailbag 16]], and you called me a name. Is D.A. supposed to mean dumbass? That's a very rude thing to call a confused fan, why would you even do that? Also, if that's the case, then why do the [[Rosechus]] wear clothes if they don't need to? Your portrayal of them seems to portray that they're not afraid to go without them, as in them being eager to strip for women's rights. I am very confused.}}
{{EmailReply|I dress my Sonichus and Rosechus as I see fit, and I leave it at that at varying appropriate times.}}

===We cannot see Chris's report cards===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, we all know that you're smart and all, can we see your report cards so we can know how smart?

It also might help discourage the [[trolls]] if they know that they are dealing with a genius!}}
{{EmailReply|My report cards are tucked away beyond my reach.}}

===Villainous sons of b*****s===
{{Email|From: Maria Angelica Peres Lopez <mariapetite1990@hotmail.com>
Hey Chris,

I want to tell you that I read your comics every day, and I'm very interested on it, specially the parts regarding your relation to the internet.

So, please, please, please, please, could you tell me what do you think have been the worst thing that trolls have done to you? What have you done against them? How do you endure all what they have done to you? What do you think they would do next? What do you think it's the worst think they could do next?

I know that remembering some of those it could cause some stress to you, but it's very important to me to know, in order to understand you better.

I hope you can answer this letter with your honest opinion. }}
{{EmailReply|In a few keywords of their deeds: '''[[BlueSpike|Deception]], [[Liquid Chris|Identity Theft]], [[Honest Content|Theft of Private Information]], [[Julie|Humiliation]], [[Jack|Blackmail]], [[Clyde|Mockery]], Slander, [[Ego|Exaggerations]], Mislabels, Bullying, Torturing, [[List of Chris's lies|Lying]], Conniving, Two-Face, Double-Dealing, No-Good, Villainous Sons Of B*****s.}}

===Chris misses the point again===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
I've heard that you had to leave [[Richmond]] because your neighbors were spreading rumors about you!

Is this true? It's such a pity that people would lie about such a charming person!}}
{{EmailReply|No, that is FALSE; I left Richmond, because it was felt that the more appropriate College for me was back in [[Charlottesville]].}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===That d*** Hitler===
{{Email|From: Jack Dison <jack.dison@hotmail.co.uk>
Dear Chris,

I am absolutely disgusted with your current story arc in your comics and you should be ashamed of yourself. Homosexual people are happy with their lives and and hurt no one, they don't force their lifestyles or choices onto anyone, and for you to write a story where a "cure" is forced upon them like they have some sort of contagious disease is despicable, you wiping out gay people is akin to what Hitler did to the jews in world war 2. Are you going to have them round all the gays up into camps so they can "cure" them more easily? These people put up with enough bigotry and their lives can be hard thanks to narrow minded evil people like you. I demand that you stop this sick plotline and apologize to gay people for it, else I will personally see to it that everyone in your fanbase undetstands the kind of evil bigot that you are.

Shocked and appalled,

Jack Dison.}}
{{EmailReply|I am not like that d*** Hitler at all, and I have not such intentions to your incredible theories of how I would treat the homosexuals. I respect them as people; what they do behind closed doors is NONE OF MY BUSINESS, and I DO NOT CARE FOR IT AT ALL, especially between two dudes; IT IS DISGUSTING AND HORRIBLE.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Doctors suck===
{{Email|From: Cad Earnest <goldorthegold@yahoo.co.uk>
Hey Chris. I have been reading your mailbag and I've noticed one thing. You seem to never admit you're wrong about ANYTHING, especially the aspergers and autism thing. Why do you think you're correct and the dozen or so people providing psychological or medical sources showing aspergers is linked to autism are wrong?

Could you explain why you are a reliable source on Aspergers syndrome? and why all the psychologists and doctors who have proof that autism and aspergers are linked are wrong?}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I have admitted before of times when I was mistaken and stood corrected. But on this issue, I stand closed-minded to the scientists who DARE put the name of such an ailment that sounds like a BAD CUT OF COW MEAT in any relation to Autism. I will admit that they may be similar, but the two are NOT THE SAME. So, aspergers is NOT ANY FORM OF AUTISM AT ALL.}}

==Parodies==
===A very Asperchu Christmas===
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Hey, Chris! I was inspired by your Sonichu and Rosechu [[Christmas Story|christmas story]], so I decided to write one for ASPERCHU! I have only completed Part One so far, which is only about two pages, but I definitely have craziness in store for this story! I hope you like it!

An Asperchu Xmas

Part One

Asperchu moved to the window. It was lightly flecked with white snow and frost, archipelagos of little crystals like glistening drops of comeuppance, made all the more beautiful against the contrasting dark backdrop of his Grandma Snorlax's cuddly girth as she reclined against the south side of the house. Turning around, he saw the barest hint of Christmas lights scattering their faint rainbow about the room, casting a soft prism of shadows amongst the boxes and laundry baskets in the room. The mixed scent of cat food and bengay gently wafted through the air. All in all, Asperchu was certainly a lucky chu.

"Meow?" he heard coming from his feet. It was Mehmed, looking up at him questioningly, his tail twitching. In the corner, Artaxerxes and Bismarck were wrestling with each other over a ball of yarn. Silly kitties.

"Sorry, Mehmed, I don't have time to play now," said Asperchu, stroking the tabby's fur. "I have to go meet Max at the mall. You be good now." Asperchu walked to the door. "Bye, Grandpa Alzheichu!" he called to the kindly old man resting in the corner, dozing to the sound of minorities mispronouncing state names on The Sing-Off on NBC. He didn't respond. Probably just reminiscing about the days of old, thought Asperchu.

He rounded the corner of the house and waived to his other guardian. "Bye, Grandma Snorlax!" he shouted.

"RGHGHRRRGGHGHAUGHGUUGHLVVZZZVP", she gently snored back. Grandpa Alzheichu said she was still sleeping and would be for a long time, due to being sick with the AIDS, but Asperchu knew in his Strong Heart that she heard him, and her snore was a kindly greeting each time he passed. Some day soon, she would awaken. He just knew it.

Asperchu trekked down the sidewalk, arriving at the gates of the Eden Prairie Mall. "Hi, Asperchu!" he heard a tinny voice shout. He turned and looked, there was Max.

"Oh, hi, Max. How are you?" He said. Max had agreed to meet him here to go Christmas shopping for their friend Jivin's present. "Say, what do you think Jivin would like? We filled his mailbox with Starburst last year and he just thought it was the bees' knees, but we can't just do that again this year." Asperchu paused and frowned in thought. "I was thinking something along the lines of a George Foreman grill or something. I know he mentioned something called "black and milds", but you know I looked them up and turns out they are cigarettes! He should know smoking is wrong. What do you..." Asperchu suddenly noticed Max's pensive look. "What is it, Max?"

"Well," began Max, "the thing is, Jivin confessed to me that he is a little depressed every time Christmas comes around." "Why is that?" Asked Asperchu. "Well, it turns out in the land Jivin comes from, his people celebrate a mysterious festival around the same time of year as Christmas. They call it 'Kwanzaa'".

"Say", said Asperchu, "That sounds downright hinky. Just what the heck is Kwanzaa?"

Well, I looked it up," said Max. "Turns out its a week-long festival during which people of African descent celebrate their culture, history, and heritage. It was started for the purpose of preserving traditions that were under threat of assimilation into the much larger American culture, and is a recognition of unity, family, community, and especially the strength and pride of a collection of cultures from all over Africa."

"Wow, Max, I had no idea!" said Asperchu. "But you know, that is just like Jivin, celebrating the culture of the black peoples in order to give to a race other than his own."

"Well, actually, Asperchu," Max began, "Jivin is bla--"

"You know what we should do?" Asperchu interrupted, excited. "We should put together a Kwanzaa festival for Jivin! I'm sure he'll love it!"

Max's eyes lightened. "You know, Asperchu, that just might work!"

So Asperchu and Max went into the mall. But as Asperchu thought more about it, he realized he might be in over his head a little - after all, he had no idea how Kwanzaa was celebrated! It was time to do some research, he decided...

to be continued in Part Two...

Your friend and protege,

Alec Benson Leary}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 18

2011-08-09T17:54:59Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

After the success of [[Mailbag 13]], the [[CWCki:Operation Mailbag|Operation Mailbag]] project was continued. '''Mailbag 18''' is composed mostly of letters written right here on the [[CWCki]], with a few genuine letters thrown in for good measure.

[[Chris]] was expected to answer them in the late hours of 14 [[December 2009]], the same day they went up. Instead, he answered a few of them in the very early hours of the 15th, and then promised to get to the rest the next evening. He finally finished answering them on 18 December, in the very early hours of the morning.

==Answered==
===The question now is how does Chris pay his manager?===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]] (josephwalterjackson1929@gmail.com)
Hello again Christopher,

First of all, thank you for answering my previous letter! Even at my old age (I'm 80 years young), I can recognize a genius when I see one, so it's an honor to have a correspondence with you. Here are a few more questions that I have remembered that I had wanted to ask you:

1. What caused your old pastor to perform a background check on you? I think that's a shocking invasion of your privacy, so I'm glad that you've found a better church.

2. Thank you for your advice regarding my son. I've tried to help him to the best of my abilities and even with my attempts to clean him up (he puts so much emphasis on his singing that his hygiene is quite poor), but he just ignores me. How do you think I should discipline him? I've tried just about everything, including restricting his internet and video game usage, but nothing seems to work.

3. Have you ever considered hiring a manager? In my experience dealing with the entertainment industry (I managed one of my son's careers many years back), I know that it is a very tricky and cruel business. Like I've said, you possess a powerful talent, so you should definitely look into safeguarding it.

4. I don't mean to invade your privacy, but can you tell me anything about your parents? They've done a terrific job of raising you, and I'm curious to know what techniques they used. They should be very proud of how you turned out.

5. How did you decide to devote yourself to creating comic books? I was browsing through your gallery of original artwork on the CWCipedia and I was surprised by the sheer variety of your artwork... from [[Pokemon]] cards to CD covers to magazine covers, and so on.

Again, thank you so much for opening up this line of communication to you. I look forward to seeing where [[Sonichu]] will take you in the future!

Sincerely,

Joseph}}
{{EmailReply|I am not sure why the pastor did that, and I agree that it was an invasion of privacy. Offer him a REWARD for keeping clean; for each time he cleans himself, give him a Star Sticker on a sheet, and when he has earned 10 or 20 Stars, you treat him to his most favorite treat, or a new toy. I have already hired a manger for advice, thank you. Mostly Tender Loving Care. It's something that I am good at, and it can be profitable. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET)}}

''It is likely that Chris is referring to [[Vivian Gee]], who offers Chris advice on advertising and other subjects.''

===Instead the courts were on the side of justice===
{{Email|From: Dan Ferraro (danqferraro23@gmail.com)

Chris,

I'm pleased to see that my favorite cartoonist is answering so much fan mail, and during the holidays when most people are so stressed out and busy! Some of these people are being extremely rude and I think you're handling it with a lot of poise and maturity.

I'm actually writing you because you've said in a video that you were asked to leave the Wolf Scouts (it was Wolf Scouts, right?) for your Autism. I know the Boy Scouts of America have undergone some high-profile lawsuits for excluding certain minority group, but I was wondering why they'd make someone with an obvious disability leave their group. This seems highly unfair and would be the kind of thing I'd make a big fuss out of it ever happened to my child. (I'm not meaning to imply that you're extremely disabled or low-functioning here either, I mean you can drive a car and graduate from college, which are pretty big accomplishments for an autistic person.)

Also there's the incident with the Green County School District where you say that multiple staff members held you down and recorded your screams: I might have some insight to this. Did you ever lose your temper as a child? Why, exactly, were they recording you? My wife works in Special Ed in the schools and they're actually allowed to restrain children that have violent temper tantrums if they're a danger to themselves or others. The faculty are all given extensive training to make sure they don't actually injure the child. Believe me, the Special Ed teachers are there to help the children grow into functional adults, not to hurt kids. Exactly how badly were you injured during this? I know this was almost 20 years ago but people have been able to sue and win for injuries that have happened long ago.

Sorry if I'm prying, my brother's an attorney who handles discrimination lawsuits, and my mind started wandering. Personally I would have sued the pants off of both groups. But that's just me.

Merry Christmas,

- Dan}}
{{EmailReply|We had tried to sue, but the courts were against us at the time.}}

===In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)===
{{Email|From: Madison Glen-Ross (ker0pi1999@gmail.com)

Hey Chris!!

I love your Sonichu comics!! My friends and I always try to stay up to date on what's cool!! I have a couple questions I hope you can answer!!

1. I was wondering if you could tell me more about your real-life powers. They seem very interesting. Can you only curse and bless people, or can you do other things? How and when did you find out about your powers? Sometimes I wish I had powers in real life, but nobody I know has them so I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. You must be really special!!

2. How come you don't wear those spiky wristbands and tattoo sleeves anymore? I had a bunch of those wristbands like Avril Lavigne but the school made me stop wearing them. Whatever!! Anyways I think they're really cool so you should wear them more often!!

3. Do you think it's all right for you to force your religion on people? I mean in the Sonichu comics you're supposed to dump a bunch of chemicals in the water supply so people will stop being [[gay]] so they'll get into Heaven. What if they're already happy being gay? And since heaven is where you get to do whatever you love to most, they'll just start being gay again once they get into Heaven. And what's the big deal with being gay anyway? You said yourself that the Bible's just a guideline and you don't have to do everything it says to be a good person. My uncle Ricky is really really gay and he's the nicest sweetest guy ever!! He's a Priest so I'm sure he's getting into Heaven.

Anyways have fun!!

Madison, age 10

<3 <3 <3 <3

xoxoxoxox

PS PUT BELLA AND EDWARD FROM TWILIGHT IN YOUR COMICS!!}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your kind loyalty and encouragement. I have learned about the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curses]] actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life [[Mary Lee Walsh]]; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Sweetheart]] Search, I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific [[Troll]] (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a life-threatening ailment. These Curse and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Blessing]] [[I am Alive|Powers]] are likely and Sound. I felt like not wearing them. I feel that by turning them Straight would BETTER their chances to getting into Heaven; I'm only doing what I can to encourage the GOOD, Better ways of life. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:28, 15 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Normal is relative===
{{Email| From: Johnny Marcus (johnny2day67@yahoo.com)

Hello again Chris, I've got another question for you. I'm curious as to what you were doing in between you getting fired from [[Wendy's]] and the start of your [[Love Quest]] (best of luck to you with that, BTW). You don't really seem to talk too much about that period, so what were you doing aside from attending PVCC? I hope there's some great drawings you did during that time.

Cheers, Johnny}}
{{EmailReply|I did do some drawing. [[9/11]] Happened shortly after being fired. I lived my life as normal back then.}}

===Good/average size breasts===
{{Email| From: [[Wikipedia:Ed Gein|Edward Gein]] (ruaboutasize14@gmail.com)

Hey Chris, long-time fan! [[Issue 10]] is going to be amazing! I'm so glad that you're going to put a bunch of [[Guitar Hero]] stuff in the comics (at least that's what it looks like, you could always surprise me)!

So how come you don't wear your old Ash Ketchum outfit anymore? Have you ever thought of [[ECV 00002|Cosplaying as Chris-chan Sonichu]]?

Oh, and what do you find attractive in a woman?

See ya, Ed}}
{{EmailReply|I didn't feel like wearing the outfit much. That is a good idea. Her face, her personality, cleaniness, good/average size breasts, and a slim/average body type.}}

**I'm feeling tired, and my right eye is bothering me; I will resume this mailbag and start the next tomorrow, as well as continue the [[Christmas Story]].

''Chris resumed answering the letters in this mailbag just after midnight on 18 [[December 2009]].''

===There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth===
{{Email|From Damon [[Wikipedia:The Screwtape Letters|Wormwood]] (w3rk+3hp4+13n+@Gmail.com)

Hey Chris! I'm a big fan of your comics, and have been reading all of your recent mailbags. You seem to be giving out a lot off advice, so I was wondering if you could help me out!

1.) My job is sort of like a "life coach", I have to make the people I've been assigned to see things my way and do the things I need done. You'd think it would be easy considering the cools stuff I'm promoting, but it's actually really hard! Do you have any suggestions as to how to get people to follow your advice or do what you need them to do? I've seen a few of your videos where you ask people to do stuff like take down a web page or something. How did you get them to comply?

2.) My boss, (a [[JERK]] named Mr. Tape) works from the home office and is constantly sending me messages telling me how to do my job. These messages are all very stressful, and he often takes a very derogatory tone! What makes things even worse is that he's my UNCLE! Arguments with family members who are also authority figures are the worst! Have you had many arguments with family members/authority figures, like an uncle or your father? How did you get them to see your side of the story?

I also had a few quick questions about your comics. I hope you don't mind specifying a few things for me!

1.) In the episode about [[4-cent garbage|4-Cent garbage]], what's up with the [[Beel|big red receptionist guy?]] Is he sunburnt or something?

2.) I couldn't help but notice that [[Reginald Sneasel]] and the sunburnt guy at 4-Cent garbage both wear the same kinds of pants! Are they friends?

Thanks a bunch!

Your Pal,

Damon W.}}
{{EmailReply|Okay, first question response: Every Person has their own individual point of view, so no one will see everything as you do, so take that idea out of your head. As for getting them to do what you'd like them to, try to maintain an impression that you are a kind and understanding type of person; be nice to your people and they will be nice to you.

Second: Your Uncle is only pushing down on you, because he may be seeing you not doing a good job from his own point of view, and he cares about you enough to offer, even in a harsh tone, his input on how you can better your job. Again, maintain being nice to your Uncle; take in and fully understand his advice on how you can better your work. Show him that you are doing so, and he may not be so harsh with you. And I did have to go through that with my family; but I just listen, not let them get to me with the loudness and stress. Taking deep breaths and taking it one moment at a time helps too.

Third: The receptionist is a portyal of the Devil, of which is a neutral reference to all the inconsiderate Trolls behind their shenanigans and the Encyclopedia Dramatica in general.

Fourth: The two Do Not Know Each Other, so no they are not friends.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:06, 18 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on murdering women in fiction===
{{Email|Jacob N. (jacob_n333@yahoo.com)

Good day, Chris!

When I was re-reading issues of Sonichu the other day, I suddenly came to realize two questions. One is serious, the other not so much. To begin with the lighter question, pun only slightly intended: I've heard you cite your dog Patti's old doghouse as weighing from five to ten tons. Judging from the photos of [[Patti]]'s doghouse in an earlier issue of Sonichu, it couldn't possibly weigh more than fifty pounds, much less five tons--it's just wood and plastic. I remember that video where you lifted one "fifty-pound" box of soda in each hand (which of course only weigh about ten to twelve pounds)--is the "ten ton doghouse" another joke like that?

After thinking some on the doghouse, I of course soon remembered the dog, and something dawned on me. It seems weird that you memorialize your beloved pet by keeping her as a character in the comic, but that you memorialize the women you've loved by killing them off in ways even more gruesome than in real life (e.g. [[Ivy]] perishing in a terrible elevator accident instead of hanging herself, Panda Halo not merely dying during the brushfires but exploding). Patti is still a character years after her death, but [[Panda Halo]]'s death seemed little more than an excuse to introduce some new characters and Ivy, despite all her buildup in previous issues, was killed off-screen and promptly ignored in favor of the ongoing plot. Why is that, Chris?

From where you readers stand, it seems that you love your pet dog--who was still just a dog, in the end--more than you love real flesh-and-blood women. Clearly that's not the case... so why do you immortalize your loved one's terrible deaths instead of who they were? I'm sure you didn't mean for it to come off that way, but I'm curious why you decided to do that in the first place.

Yours in the [[Cherokee]] nation,
Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky}}
{{EmailReply|To answer your first question, I do not have a full understand on feeling the weight of something versus their actual weight, so those numbers were originally only Estimates. The women characters who in real life were my girlfriends before their deaths. It was my mistake of putting in to-be girlfriends when they would see their own real-life deaths prematurely. I should have been in full confidence of them being my girlfriend CLOSE in real life than solely over the internet. Patti was my dog FOR REAL, and we actually had the caring master/dog relationship, so she WOULD be ongoing, because she WAS that close to me; NEVER over the internet.

If any of the women I had put into the books actually were my girlfriends Offline and Close in Real Life, then they WOULD be more likely to be ongoing in the series.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:06, 18 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on the homeless===
{{Email|From: Amanda Brown (ultimatefan88@gmail.com)

Chris,

Glad you've been keeping busy with so many updates! As a fan it's so great having new Sonichu stuff to read every day.

I was reading through the Sonichu & [[Rosechu]] Christmas story and was wondering why there are homeless people in [[CWCville]]? I thought CWCville was like your imaginary perfect city where the only problems were like giant robot attacks and stuff.

Have fun,
Amanda}}
{{EmailReply|A city is still a city, all problems included. I took it to responsibility to make sure the homeless were happy too by giving them not only Soup Kitchens, but Hotels WITH those Soup Kitchens. If every city adopted the ideal and put their funds into the Soup Hotels (as I call them), then we would be seeing less homeless in the streets and the homeless would feel more happy and comfortable.

Also, the people would need places to stay after such incredible attacks, and that's where the Soup Hotels would come in even better, and the already homeless people would be able to help rebuild the buildings for their neighbors. It's a kind and generous thought for society.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:06, 18 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Time paradox===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>
Chris, while I am a fan of your comic and I appreciate how you are attempting to tie up the loose ends so you can let the story be about Sonichu, I feel that I must point out a massive plothole.

In the story, you have sent [[Magi-chan]] to the future to take the crates containing enough of the anti-gay gene to cure the world back into the present and use them.

This creates a time paradox. If all [[homo]]sexuality was cured in the present, there would not be a need for the cure in the present. Necessity is the mother of invention, so the cure would never be invented because nobody needed it.

I won't bore you further but I'll just point out that this is impossible and it makes you look incredibly lazy.}}
{{EmailReply|Point taken. But there WOULD be an alternate Dimension where THAT future STILL takes place indefinitely, and so no time paradox is in jeopardy. Like similarly, there is the Dimension of the future where the Vaccine is distributed like I'm portraying it, and so our present would sync-up with THAT Dimension that would be our future.}}

===At normal best===
{{Email|From: Lynx Robinson <lynxrob@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris.

You always say you take it one moment at a time. Is that because it is all your brain can handle?}}
{{EmailReply|That is actually how ALL PEOPLE'S Brains can handle in General and at Normal Best.}}

===Chris the forgiver of brothers===
{{Email|From: Jessica Hughes <jessiebaby91234@yahoo.com>
Hello Christian!

This is Jessie Hughes, the preteen with the dirty, slanderous troll brother, Nathan! He told me he gave you a piece of his mind. I looked at the e-mail from the Rejected Mailbag, and I was so ticked off at him! I got my own e-mail so I could write to my hero, Christian Weston Chandler!

I have a few questions for you.

1) My brother and I are currently not speaking because of what he said to you.. What do you suggest I do? Should I stop talking to his meanie butt, or should we become loving siblings again?

2) Would you disown Sonichu if he became a homo? I would totally disown my son if he was gay, because this kid in my class, [[Wikipedia:E.O._Green_School_shooting|Larry King]] (not the old fart on TV), is gay and we throw rocks at him during recess, and I don't want my kid to be like him.

3) I'm truly very sorry about Nathan's comments against you. He's been a little angry lately because he's been having some "accidents" if you know what I mean, and that's why he FALSELY accused you of doing the same.

Jessica

P.S. I LOVE the comics, hun!}}
{{EmailReply|You should forgive and forget; what is done is done. All you can do is let him know how you feel about what he did and move on. If you still love and care for your brother like you always did, then don't fret about this one thing which is miniscule in comparison to (if) anything bad he may have done to you. Sonichu is Straight, and would Never turn homo. If I had a child who'd turn homo, I'd forgive her/him and not disown. I forgive your brother, thank you. :)

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:06, 18 December 2009 (CET)}}

===International economics===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Maria Renard]] <mariarenard@hotmail.co.uk>
Hello Christian.

I just watched your latest [[Youtube]] video, and I'd like to ask, why would you need donations from Europeans such as myself when you get $800 American Dollars from taxpayers every month? Is that not enough for you?}}
{{EmailReply|Most of that money goes to my father, plus no it is not. Currently, the Euro is greater than the American Dollar, which I feel is sad.}}

===In which Chris lies about parody again===
{{Email|From: kittenhearts86@aol.com
Dear Chris,

Have you ever considered doing a comic that doesn't rely on stealing ideas from other people (like how Sonichu steals from [[Sonic]] and Pikachu)? Theft is a sin after all.}}
{{EmailReply|It is called a Parody; NOT THEFT.}}

===He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle===
{{Email|From: mmmmgotohim@aol.com

My girlfriend is having a birthday party in a few days. She says she wants me to kiss her on her lips but I'm a little scared. What's it like kissing a girl on the lips?}}
{{EmailReply|It is magical and delightful. Don't be scared; it is sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===In which Chris pretends to care===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
I hope you realize you are turning into a monster. Read this: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/26/bauer_autism/index.html

Look Chris, you were "successful" in high school with your "honor roll". What have you done since then? Face it, you should just seek help before you turn into a monster.}}
{{EmailReply|I will keep your comment in mind, thank you.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 17

2011-08-09T17:54:17Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 17''' was uploaded on 10 [[December 2009]]. On 13 December, [[Chris]] answered some of these questions, rejected some others, and filed the others in his various not-quite-rejected-but-fuck-you-anyways folders, including a brand new rejected mailbag for letters about [[Sonichu]] parodies. Despite all the stress this would doubtlessly cause Chris, he somehow still found the strength to spend an hour and a half writing the first bit of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]].

==Answered==
===Fun with editing===
{{Email|From: Jorge Rodriguez <r.jorge72@yahoo.com>
Chris,

Much like you, I am a straight male, but everybody thinks I am a [[homos]]exual. They told me the only way to prove I am straight is to make a video of myself making out with a ''Woman'' <s>man</s>, then say it was ''AWESOME'' <s>disgusting</s>. Should I make the video to prove I'm straight? What's the best way to prove I AM STRAIGHT?

Yours in the bear,

Jorge Rodriguez

P.S. You mentioned that when you see a [[dick]], you get disgusted and look away, but what will you do if you're changing your son's diaper? How can you change his diaper while not looking at him? <s>Will you cover his dick with your [[Sonichu medallion]] so you can't see it?</s>}}
''Chris added the italicized words and strikethroughs. Then, on the on the early morning of the 15th of December, he removed his alterations and displayed the E-mail as it was originally written. We have retained his changes for the sake of completeness.''
{{EmailReply|There are other ways; ''but like I have just corrected your letter,'' you should Make Out With A Woman and say it was Awesome, not how it was originally written, and make the video on that.

I'll deal with changing my children's diapers when I cross that bridge.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}
''After deleting his alterations to the letter, Chris edited his own reply to match. The italicized words were deleted in the early hours of 15 December 2009.''

===Chris's receding hairline disagrees===
{{Email|From: jromans73@aol.com

What kind of hair products have you tried? I noticed in some of your newer videos that your [[hair]] is thinning and you are going bald so I was wondering what products you tried so far. Have you tried Rogaine?
- Joe Romans}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I am NOT going bald, and second, I use [[AXE]] brand Freeze Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner. As portrayed in ALL their comercials, AXE is for the Straight Man to help them Get and Keep Their Woman. Now on the [[Playstation Network]] for Free, Download the NEW Smooth Jarvis Theme where it further proves that AXE is for the everyday Straight Man. And go Pits-To-Chest with the AXE brand Deoderants as well, availble in most retail stores. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Too bad it will never happen===
{{Email|From: Bret Kinney <bretkinney@gmail.com>

What would you do if you DID get married? }}
{{EmailReply|Live the everday American life as a Happily Married man and Father.}}

===Hamsty tackles the hard issues===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

How do you feel about [[Barack Obama]]'s stance on health care?

Do you feel the stimulus has done its part to strengthen America or has it worsened the economy? Why or why not?

Do you believe Joe Biden is doing a good enough job? Why?
Do you believe in global warming? Why?}}
{{EmailReply|It is fair, but America is NOT ready for Obama's plan yet, because we can not afford it yet. The yearly stimulus helps well; it's more money in our pockets [[Monthly tugboat|to spend as we wish.]] Joe is doing what he can. I am against global warming, because it would be terrible for the Earth.}}

===Chris has thought about this way too much===
{{Email|From: jpopstar666@aol.com

If you woke up one morning to find you were a female, what would you do?}}
{{EmailReply|Actually, I had imagined that situation before and thought about it, in the scenario where I had a mind/body-swap with a woman. Firstly, I would be surprised, but I would maintain my cool. I would contact my cell or home number, talk to the other person in my body, and get the news of her daily routine, and I would tell her mine, and we'd go along as such until we switched back. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Having sex with someone under false pretenses is not cool===
{{Email|From: Chris Hutchinson <menchib@gmail.com>

Hello again Chris!

You just proclaimed in your latest comic that you went to the future and had awesome sex with your future wife! Congratulations! Now my question is, do we get to find out who your future wife is soon? We're all dying to find out! And secondly will your future wife ever find out that a past version of her husband came to the future to rape her?
Thanks again Chris, keeps those awesome comics coming!}}
{{EmailReply|I made that Clear, her Name is '''Lovely Weather''', and she is a hot woman who is smart, sweet and all that goodness. AGAIN, IT WAS NOT RAPE; '''she mistook me for my future self, and INVITED ME to have sex with her'''.}}

===In which Chris assumes he is like Jerry Seinfeld and then misses the point entirely===
{{Email|From: Sacha <lordbeluga@gmail.com>

Salutations Christian,

Consider this hypothetical scenario; say that your [[Adult Chronicles]] game idea were to be instead adapted into a Live-Action movie (like [[Dragon Ball Z]]s recent Transition to the Big Screen) and by some strange, Twist of Fate, you weren't able to star in the movie as yourself, who would you choose to Fill Your Role?

Which actor do you think possesses your Likeness the most?

Who would play [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]?

Who would you get to direct?

Much Regards,
Sacha}}
{{EmailReply|Off the top of my head, I'd want Jerry Seinfeld to play me in the movie. I'd want to direct it myself, if not, then someone else, I don't know that many directors. Sonichu and Rosechu - Me and my gal-pal would Voice them.}}

===Wet dreams===
{{Email|Dear Chris,

I, much like you, received a vision of [[God and Jesus|God, Jesus]] in my dreams telling me that I will have a son named Copper -- like the useful conductive metal. I have been [[recycling]] my son for many years now but I have had several [[stress|STRESSFUL]] and FRANTIC situations with regards to my [[comeuppance]]. Sometimes I dream of me and my one true and honest love engaging in the acts of sex. When I awaken from these acts of sex I find that my briefs or sheets have been filled with my future to be son. The first time this happened I screamed and frantically sucked up my son so he would be safe within me once more.

This problem in the past had only occurred every once in a great while. I find it happening more frequently and find myself waking up and frantically sucking my son out of my sheets or briefs as I continue to dream more and more of my elusive, one true love. I was wondering if you, being a prominent figure that I look up have had problems like this yourself. Do you have any advice for me on how I can be more prepared for this situation? I really could use some pointers here because I am very afraid that I may lose my son if I am not ever vigilant in [[recycling]] myself, even when I sleep.

Your true and honest loyal fan,

-Stu Pidass (P.S. I apologise if you find my name offensive, it was legally changed years ago during a blackmail incident and I cannot change it back yet. Damn those trolls.)}}
{{EmailReply|Try thinking of OTHER things that are NOT romantic or sexual, like sports or whatever; the different topics would change your dreams.}}

==Gone Forever==
''This letter marks the first time since [[Mailbag 2]] that Chris has failed to save a rejected email.''
===It will probably be several weeks before Chris figures out how to unsubscribe from this===
{{Email|From: Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief <lgbt@smartbrief.com>

As lead editor, I'd like to thank you for subscribing to Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief, a summary of the most important industry news delivered to your inbox 2x/week. You'll receive your first newsletter shortly.

In the meantime, please visit (and bookmark!) our Web site for breaking industry news and an archive of past issues: http://www.smartbrief.com/news/lgbt

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Best, Robert DiGiacomo
Lead Editor}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===The cure for morons===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Johnny Winter|Johnny Winter]] <winterjohnny@ymail.com>
Hi Chris!

I recently read your spoilers regarding your return from the time void and it left me with one question:

1) When you briefly visited the future and recieved the shot of the straight gene to cure you, why didn't you think to ask them for the cure for being slow in the mind as well?

Thanks and I can't wait for issue number 10!}}

===Strike City===
{{Email|From: gay_luvr_1979@homosexual.net
<s>Hey Chris, sweety, it's me!

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed our sex-time together in the toilet of that Gay Club we went to. You're so sexy! I can't wait to see you again next week ;-)

So I'll pick you up at the airport at 5:30pm, okay? See you then, sweety!

Love and kisses,
Tom

P.S. Wear that cute brown stripey shirt again, okay?

P.P.S. Have you told that told that prissy little girlfriend of yours that it's over yet? It gives me so much stress thinking of all the time you spend making sex-time with her when you should be with me! *sigh*</s>}}
''Once again, the strikethroughs were added by Chris for some unknowable reason.''

===Imitable acts===
{{Email|From: jdavs5000@aol.com

My son was recently suspended from his school for a day for "kicking [another student] in the genitalia." When I asked him where he learned that shit, he told me "from Sonichu." Having no clue about this [[Pokemon|Pokeman]] shit (I'm not a ten year old kid), I looked it up as well as your Sonichu drawings.

While I support people standing up for themselves, what kind of pussy resorts to dirty fighting and hitting a man in the balls? Not a real man, I'll tell you that. What are you, Chris? 12 years old? I'd think so, judging by how you "fight" and all those fucking toys and your baby ass drawings.
Take my advice: grow up, grow a pair, get a fucking job, and move out of your mom's house. You're a burden on your goddamn parents, and not because you're handicap, but just because you're a fucking lazy slob who never grew up.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===In which Chris fails to man up to what he said about autism shots===
{{Email|From: John <jpala821@mail.com>
"Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)" - You said you got your "Autism" from your babysitter, and now you're saying doctors give Autism shots!? Are you lying to your true and honest fans like you have lied to Megan, Kacey, and a whole bunch of other people in your life let alone serious about this statement!? I am insulted by this, as it made my decision to not only abandon supporting your comic, but also give you the cash you need to get rid of those ads, Mr. Chandler. Congratulations on isolating another Sonichu fan.}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===In which Chris ignores a bunch of perfectly reasonable questions===
{{Email|From: Super Woyzeck <superwoyzeck@hotmail.co.uk>

Dear Christain

I have some issues I would like clarification upon:

1. This may seem like an odd question, but how in Sonichu canon do you expect Sonichu and Rosechu to die? Feel free to not answer the question if it is relevent to a future plot point, but if not, it would be interesting to know what the life expectancy of the Sonichus is.

2. Do [[Rosechus]] go through the menopause?

3. Are [[Sonichus]] and Rosechus different species? If not, what is the collective term for the species?

4. Do Sonichus and Rosechus base physical attraction on colour? There appears to be little or no physical difference between Sonichus other than their colour which is confusing enough, but they all have identical beliefs and similar personalities. Are all Sonichus and Rosechus sexually attracted to one another? If not, how do they pair up?

5. What do Sonichus eat? Do they hunt animals or do they eat grass?

6. Do all Sonichus have the same "job" - protecting CWCville - or are some of them in other industries? I imagine one Sonichu could probably power the whole of [[CWCville]] constantly. Is it possible for Sonichus to "tap into" their powers to use their natural electicity as a source of cheap power?

7. If Sonichus create electricity, does that mean that they have to eat more frequently than [[Sonic]]? Do they give off heat or any other natural by-product of power production? How eco-friendly is a Sonichu?

8. When a Sonichu's penis is flaccid and retracted into their abdomen, are they identical to Rosechus? Surely all they must have visible on the outside is a little slit. Do Sonichus ever mistake each other for Rosechus?

By the way, I liked the ending of Sonichu 9. It was very moving. From
Woyzeck (a big f***ing fan).}}
''Chris censored the word "fucking" to "f***ing". Apparently he hates swear words now.''

===Seriously your house is a giant fucking mess===
{{Email|From: rschneider@socialworker.net

Hello Chris

My name is [[Wikipedia:Rob_Schneider|Robert Schneider]] and I'm a social worker.

I am writing to you to express my deep concern as regards to your family's well-being and more importantly the living conditions you live in. Having seen the tour of your [[house]] on [[youtube]] and knowing of your parents age I have to ask why have you not cleaned the property?

As a 28 year old seemingly healthy individual, the responsibility to clean up that household really does rest on your shoulders as most social care professionals would deem your mother and father incapable of doing it themselves due to their age and health.

As a friendly piece of advice Christian, I would clean that place out quickly or your parents could well face being put in a care home for the sake of their own good health. Not only this but given your [[Autism]] you could well be force to live in an environment more suited to your needs, depending on reassessment.

Please get back to me as this is a serious matter.
Rob.}}

==Parodies==
===Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo===
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|Good, godly, STRAIGHT fun!]]
{{Email|From: Alec Benson Leary

Christian,

First of all, I wish to say how sorry I am. I have nothing but the greatist respect for you and your artistic talent, I only meant to show you how awesome I think Sonichu is. I NEVER meant to suggest that Sonichu was a despicable HOMOGAY.

I only wanted to show [[Asperchu|ASPERCHU]] and his brother Sonichu having good, godly, STRAIGHT fun together as friends and brothers. So to make up for my previous error, I have created a completely NEW image to show how they are both manly men enjoying the joys of brotherhood.

Your friend and protege,

Alec Benson Leary}}
{{EmailReply|YOU HAVE DONE WRONG with this drawing; it only depicts the OPPOSITE OF STRAIGHT, you D.A. There may be a HUMAN character coming into the books with aspergers, but there will certainly NEVER BE A SONICHU or ROSECHU WITH THAT AILMENT.}}

===Sonichu loves everyone long time===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>

Chris,

http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com

I absolutely will not [[Mailbag_10#In which Chris is introduced to the definitive Sonichu experience|"stop the presses."]] This isn't CWCville where you can tell everyone what to do. Furthermore, you gave the go-ahead to this in your November 25th blog. Part of obtaining a copyright for a product or idea is that you retain creative control over what merchandise gets produced. Now you've relinquished that control to anyone who wants to create their own Sonichu merchandise or comics.

Since Sonichu is a comic with a large homosexual following, I'm simply catering to consumer demand by having your male characters engage in explicit gay sex at every opportunity.

Also I couldn't help but notice you didn't comment on "Sonichu is Dead," where all your characters are killed off one by one. Are you implying that death is preferable to being gay? Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Have a nice day,

Sean August Watley
(P.S. When the Gay Sonichu [[sex toys]] roll off the assembly line sometime in 2010, I'll be sure you get free samples.) }}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 16

2011-08-09T17:53:16Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 16''' was uploaded early in the morning of 10 [[December 2009]], and answered in the early morning hours of the 13th.

Perhaps the most notable letter in this mailbag is one that asks [[Chris]] a few seemingly innocent questions about feminism. Chris's response begins innocently enough, but he soon loses the plot, and starts ranting about how men are huge [[JERKS|jerks]] and blaming other people for making [[Rosechu]] look pathetic. Also interesting are Chris's ruminations on the friend zone, where he promotes the idea that the friend zone is a challenge to overcome.

Other highlights include the suggestion of a series of Chris-chan workout videos, not waiting for the [[third date]], and the return of Chris's abbreviation for "dumbass".

==Answered==
===Like Tae-bo, only made of fail===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Rembrandt_Brown|Rembrandt Brown]] <thecryinman@gmail.com>
Hey Chris!

Every day of my life I face challenges that require me to be both physically and mentally strong. I've seen some of your [[youtube]] videos that showcase your [[30 Push-Ups|impressive]] [[51 50|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] ability and was wondering if you could share some of your knowledge with your fans!

What would you recommend for a good diet for the days that you are working out? What kinds of different exercises would you recommend someone do for both strength and stamina? What are some techniques to being a good fighter? And finally, would you consider releasing a CWC workout video in the near future? Any tips would be great! Thanks!

Sincerely,
Rembrandt}}
{{EmailReply|Walking/Jogging is excellent Any Day of the Week, Yoga is a good practice, and eat Grilled Chicken, Vegetables and other healthy edibles at the reasonable diet rate. I don't think so on a Workout video.}}

===In which Chris fails to realize how sexist he really is===
{{Email|From: Layla Litte <popstar_layla@yahoo.com>
Hey Chris! My name is Layla, and I'm a college student currently taking a Feminist Literature class. I want to write my final essay on "Women's Empowerment in Sonichu". I'd love to get some quotes/answers from you, the original creator. That would be awesome. Here are my questions:
 1.) Do you consider yourself a feminist?
 2.) What do you think is the most important right that women today enjoy?
 3.) What do you think a woman looks for in her mate?
 4.) What do you think are the main differences between men and women?
 5.) What is the role of women in Sonichu?

Thanks so much!! "Zap to the extreme!"

Gratefully,
Layla L.}}
{{EmailReply|I am a full supporter for [[Women's Rights]], so I think so. I can't really say for sure as I am not a mind-reader, but I feel that the right women not only enjoy, but is also important, are having the same rights as men; the vote, to be recognized, and even, possibly crazily, walk a mile in the man's shoes and clothing. LOL I understand that women like men who stay clean, are truthful and honest, look good and all-around kind and considerate with a dash of rough and tough. I feel that if ALL some women look for in a man is Power, Fame or Money are Totally Shallow, or otherwise Low on Self-Esteem. The [[China|private]] [[Pickle|parts]] are a big difference. But from my P.O.V., [[Gal-pals|most women]] are kind, considerate, sweet, emotionally sharing, outgoing, yet sometimes harsh and strict with good intentions. And again from my P.O.V., [[JERKS|most men]] are obnoxious, [[Ego|selfish]], [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|violent]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|ignorant and mentally slow]], and they are certainly [[Autism|do not share their emotions]] to make themselves appear Tough and not weak. The women characters in the comics have roles in which they live as they would normally, or assert themselves in opinions and/or strength when appropriate. There are times when it may be considered they were portrayed by the stereotypes talked about, but that was never the case; I put them in those situations at those times as I saw fit in the story. For example, in the 20th Episode, Rosechu attacked the villians valiently, yet I had to let her get captured so I could make the recreation and reference to the Fan Animation from (YouTube User) Timmys1984 fully and successfully.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 07:50, 13 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Second date===
{{Email|From: Steven Pinelli <pinelliacid@gmail.com>
Hello Chris. I am a huge fan of your Sonichu franchise. You do amazing work! Anyway, here is my question. Tonight I am going on my second date with my new girlfriend. I know from reading your comics that [[hanky panky]] doesn't happen until date number three, however I really need to get my [[dick]] on. Do you think I should try to get my girlfriend to give me some china on my second date or would that be a mistake. Thanks for your reply, and keep making those awesome comics!

Steve}}
{{EmailReply|You may ask her if she wants to do that after the date, and if she is cool with it, then it is okay. But remain calm and cool when you bring it up.}}

===In which Chris reveals exactly how little he's learned===
{{Email|From: ldenver468@aol.com
Chris,

I'm in love with my best friend, Alisha Bleuler. I met her when she started working at the same coffee shop I work at. She's so perfect and beautiful and she really understands me as a person! I simply adore her! I've tried almost everything to get her to notice me; like flirting with her, standing really close to her when we're together in public, buying gifts for her, singing romantic songs to her, and painting pictures of her. It's nothing creepy or perverted, just stuff with us holding hands, kissing, and this one where we're frolicking together in an Spring meadow. I've had some pretty frank talks with her about my feelings, but she just doesn't seem to love me the way I love her. It's been driving me completely insane because I know there's some grand romantic gesture I could pull off to win her over, but what?

I know you've had a similar situation with a girl. If you could go back, what would you have done (or done differently) to win over [[Megan Schroeder]]?

Help me, Chris-Chan, you're my only hope!

Lester Denver}}
{{EmailReply|She may have put you in the [[Friend Zone]], alright. Most would say once you're in the Friend Zone, it is over on going beyond that, but I disagree. I recommend checking out the movie, "Just Friends" starring Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart; NOT exactly, but you may learn from how Ryan's character got out of the Friend Zone and stepped it up. Or you can ask her friends or family on what they think may be the way to win her over. Good Luck.}}

===Art and lesbians===
{{Email|From: resinbaby@aol.com
Hi, I saw that you are taking fanmail, and so I would love to ask you some questions, being a fan of your work!
 1. I am studying art myself - what would you suggest I do to improve my technique?
 2.Are there any artists that you look up to? Or styles you like? I myself love Vincent Van Gogh, Albrecht Dürer, Salvador Dali, and Andy Warhol. I also love the Surrealist and Baroque movements
 3. Finally, a question that I've been wanting to ask... I know you are against [[homos]]exual men, but what about homosexual women? Do you think they are unnatural as the homosexual men?

Thanks!}}
{{EmailReply|I would recommend drawing your foreground items/characters before adding all that goes behind them, and remember the one-point perspectives rule. That answers the first two questions. Yes, regardless of gender it is still wrong.}}

===Alcoholism===
{{Email|From: Gary Finch <garyfinch@live.com>
Hey-o CWC! Name's Gary, and I found out about your sonichu comics while me and my bros were chillin out at our house just drinking some brewhounds (what we call beers!!). My best friend Brody showed me your comics and I read all of them in a few days, they're just so good! Anyway, I was found out about how you like to drink like my friends and I. I was wondering how much you usually spend on [[alcohol]] in a week? I spend about $13 to get a 30 pack of Keystones every friday! Woo! What do you usally drink, and how often do you drink? Stay safe! Gary}}
{{EmailReply|I am more of a Social Drinker; I generally do NOT spend a weekly amount on drinks; I only drink at like a party or with a friend on rare ocassions.}}

===What's the big deal, district attorney?===
{{Email|From: Mike Oxaflopin <artiphtd@gmail.com>
Why have the [[Sonichus]] not been arrested for public indecency? None of them wear pants. I would not want to go outside and see another dude's dong. I thought you were against homos, Chris.}}
{{EmailReply|Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, Porky Pig, even Sonic the Hedgehog Never Wore Pants in their shows/comics and such, and they NEVER got arrested, so What's The Big Deal, D.A.?}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris the slut===
{{Email|From: maynard Isveli <maynardpattern@gmail.com>
Chris, Hello, my name is Maynard. I am a young gay man from St. Louis. I know that you are very much against homosexuals, however, the other day I came across your sex video of you and your blowup doll on SlutLoad. I immediately started jacking off. I was so turned on looking at your hot plump rump. You are such a slut.

With tons of gay man love

Maynard}}

===Another letter about how much Chris fails at life===
{{Email|From: Black Anon <ablackanon@hotmail.com>
hey chris my name is carly im a big fan of yours and the way you protrayed yourself in your comics i just knew you were a handsome and fit man oh boy was i wrong. I saw your videos on youtube and your fat as a whale and ugly as sin. Thats why no girl will talk to you cause you are an ugly overweight person. think about it no other woman (dont count family members) have never called you cute thats why you are still a 27 year oldd virigin cause if you looked good you would have been lost your virginty by now and have a [[sweetheart]]. Dont get mad though god made you fat ugly and retarded for a reason. Also how does it feel to be a failure compared to your brothers and sisters who have good careers? }}

===But women can put it in their mouthes===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]] <rjeremy1953@gmail.com>
Chris,

Before I say anything else, I'd like to make it clear that I am straight and only have straight sex with women. But sometimes, when I'm alone, I like to suck my own dick. I've tried to stop doing it, as I have millions of women that I can have sex with at any time I want because I have a massive penis and I am a very, very attractive man. I'm so attractive and my penis is so big, if I were a homo, I'd fuck myself, hard. Yet even with women at my disposal, I still feel the need to do it. I fear that I may turn into a homo and fuck myself in the ass with my fucking massive cock because I'm so fucking hot! You, being such a hero for heterosexuals, like myself, must know how to stop these ungodly and sinful urges! I tried using crack to help me stop, but it just made me suck other guys dicks, so I stopped doing that. Have you ever had urges to sucked your own dick? If so, how did you stop them?

R. Jeremy}}
{{EmailReply|I did not have any such urges. But I suggest you reprogram your mind; Picture your dick being a Vacuum Cleaner Hose... That vacuum has been picking up dust, dirt, debris and other stuff that is usually found at a Garbage Dump. You would never put anything in your mouth that was among the germ-infested, possibly toxic trash and garbage from that dump, so Don't Do It.}}

===On the nature of trolls===
{{Email|From: [[Crystal]] Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com>
Saying you're sorry for the offensive things you're about to say doesn't make them acceptable, Chris. That is the mentality of a five year old, which is essentially what you are (on a good day). "I can do whatever I want as long as I say I'm sorry", no. You're technically twenty fucking seven years old, and you act like a child. A very, very young child.

Honestly, is it your mission in life to alienate yourself from every last person that still supports you? You had very few people on your side to begin with, and with each thing you do, that number continues to fade.

I wouldn't even call the larger group "[[trolls]]" anymore, Chris. Trolling implies things are being done at least partially just for amusement. I'm not sure that's the ase anymore. People legitimately hate you at this point, Chris. A lot of people. It isn't because you have Autism, and it certainly isn't because they're jealous. It's because as a human being, you fucking suck.

I doubt you read this, and I'm sure you don't have the balls to respond, but you need a fucking reality check. You need a reality LESSON, because you have absolutely no idea what reality is.}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===Parkay analysis===
{{Email|From: Kevin Thompson <bumperrabbit92@gmail.com>
Chris, I viewed [[Sonichu's Edge|your recent running video]] and a couple of thoughts sprang to mind.

According to a map, you ran 579 metres. This took you four minutes. You stopped five times. This means to run the full five miles (roughly 8 kilometres) you claim to run each day would take you 60 minutes and include 80 rest breaks. That is a very poor effort indeed.

Have you been lying to us, and if I were to propose and draw you out a five mile course would you run, and film, the entire event to prove to us your running ability?

Sincerely,

Dr. Kevin Thompson}}

===Chris continues to fail at Christianity===
{{Email|From: odnar@luukku.com
I think you're a great drawer and writer, but there are things that bug me still.

While it's true that gayness is condemned in the Bible, so are using condom and masturbating, which you all support. You can't be a good Christian if you accept those.

Also, I think there are way too many similarities with Sonichus and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. Doesn't that violate any copyright laws?

Also, I find it insulting that there are no members of minorities as important characters. You should fix this.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 15

2011-08-09T17:52:44Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 15''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] early in the morning of 10 [[December 2009]] and answered by [[Chris]] on the 12th.

Another diverse Mailbag, Chris is asked a wide variety of questions on a number of topics. Highlights of this mailbag include Chris "agreeing" with the social contract, explaining why he made [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|the image that ruined his life]], and giving the definitive answer on his issue with aspergers.

==Answered==
===He would much rather be excused for it===
{{Email|From: Shelly Munroe <shellymunroe3324@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

I wanted to write to you to tell you that this morning I sat down and wrote a letter to [[Nintendo]] of America suggesting to them, almost demanding that they reconsider developement of a [[Sonichu]] Nintendo game title. After I sent the letter, I felt very good about myself. You see, I enjoy working with and helping out retards and the mentally chanllenged.. I volunteer locally with extremely mentally handicapped persons and even volunteer with the special olympics, which brings me to my question. Have you ever considered applying to be in the special olympics? It is a special event just for retarded persons like yourself. If you would be interested in applying for the Special Olympics, I would be delighted to help you. Thank you for reading my letter.

Love
Shelly}}
{{EmailReply|I humbly thank you your support in the letter, and I appreciate the offer for the SpOlympics. But I feel that I would not like to be judged based on my [[autism]]. Happy Holidays. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}

===This madness has now been going on for 10 years===
{{Email|From: Alexia Andrews <sexie.lexie14@yahoo.com>
Heyy Chris and Co.!

My name's Lexie, just wanted to say I'm a big fan of your Comics and have been reading for years, my little Sister showed me some of your Webcomics back on your old site and have been following your struggle ever since!! Congrats on the copyright!! Those Dang dirty Trolls have nothing on You now!!!!

Anyways, just a quick Question or two regarding you putting out your comics. I noticed you've started putting out a page a day, this kinda Bums me out cause I have to reread so many pages especially in the Acton Sequences so I can get everything going on. But on Top of this, I'm beginning to wonder if you will miss the 10th aniversary of Sonichu if you keep putting out pages at this rate. DOes this concern you?
Also, as far as you writing your True and Honest stories into the comics, it seems you're falling way behind, the preview for the next issue's Storyline is almost anchuent considering the Hardships you've overcome since. Does it bother you that your rate for putting out comics is turning out to be around one a year? It definately doesn't Satisfy me as a True and Honest, Loyal Fan of yours. Thanks Chris!!!! God bless!!
Stay safe hunny,
Lexie}}
{{EmailReply|I am fairly concerned on the 10th Anniversary, but OFFICIALLY, that will NOT be until March 17, 2010, so I feel that I will be able to make the date on Anniversary Special Content. Real Life hardships did delay, but I won't let that bother me anymore, as I am working on taking the real-life-based characters out of the story in this 10th book.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}
''As it turns out, real-life hardships '''did''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|bother Chris on the 10th anniversary]], preventing any "Anniversary Special Content" from occurring.''

===Everything in moderation===
{{Email|From: Ethan Poe <morrisseyfan89@gmail.com>
Mr Chandler,

I was wondering as a fellow political moderate what are some of your disagreements with the Democratic and Republican parties? Do you have any thoughts on [[Obama]]'s Afghan troop surge?

Your's Truly,
John Singleton}}
{{EmailReply|I am a Moderate, so I can go either way in the party, although I disagree with more of the Republican's views than the Democrats. As for the troop surge, I don't really care much for war, especially if it's over [[Twin Falling Towers|some petty disagreement]], but regardless of the surge's success or failure, I feel at least half of the sent troops should not be pulled back to stand their ground.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris clearly does not agree with the social contract===
{{Email|From: poesk@aol.com
Hello Chris,

I was wondering granted the nuanced take on love seen in the Sonichu comics if you have any thoughts on philosophy in general. I am a philosophy major so I am curious if there are any particular philosophers that you enjoy. Also do you have any thoughts on the social contract.

An Adoring Fan,
Ethan}}
{{EmailReply|I have had a number of philosophical theories and ideals before, such as the recent reply to a letter with my theory of BOTH Evolution and the Garden of Eve co-existed, and were all from God's hand. I don't have a particular philosopher, but I have learned of some of them from my education. And as long as the Government keeps their promises and maintains Social Order and Peace, I agree with the Social Contract.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Copypasta===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Alfred Jarry|Alfred Jarry]] <ajarry42@yahoo.com>
Please, I need you're help please. I am currently bullied in middle school by a group of big kids. I have no idea what todo, I can't get help from others because I have no friends and the teacher's all hate me. What would Sonichu do in this situtuation? What would you, Christain Chandler do? I know you have had dirty [[trolls|trols]] following on the internet so could you give me tips on how I handle these bad kids >:(}}
{{EmailReply|As I have told another person with the similar Bully problem,

My best advice is to ignore their plights upon you and count your blessings. Also, if you are objecting to their beatings and whatnot, I would advise you try Being Nice to them; when they threaten you, you Smile and tell them "Stay safe and have a good day." And when they beat you up, you Smile and tell them, "Thank you for the massage, I feel much better now." And depending on what they throw at you, Smile and say "Thank you, I (was hungry/thirsty) (wanted this (item) for a while) (think this will look great in my collection). The point is to make their bullying look more like a pleasantry to you, because that is the response bullies are NOT looking for. In any case, eventually the bullies will tire from it and give up; this will speed that up a bit.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Deal with life's problems by ignoring them===
{{Email|From: Envy <voidstrato@gmail.com>
Buenas dias, Chris!

My question is a simple one: What makes you happy?

I've been feeling blue lately and nothing seems to be working to get me back on my feet. I feel like I just want to crash and sleep forever. Do you have any advice?

Best regards,
Clause N.V.}}
{{EmailReply|I enjoy a number of things, like Video Games, Television Shows, Movies, Physical Activity, Music and others. While I am not necessarily happy sometimes, I do these things to distract me from life's problems. So, I suggest watching a Lot of Comedy Shows and Movies; They Smile with you.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:26, 12 December 2009 (CET)}}

===I'm all for equality, but...===
{{Email|From: Joseph Barale <amenta101@yahoo.com>
Dear Chris,

I am a growing aspiring cartoonist and currently single male (and very much proud of it).

I have been aware of you and your Sonichu creation for a while now. I even read all your Sonichu comics from scratch. I am pleased to see that you have a mailblog for your Sonichu following and I applaud you to that and wish you the best. However, you should also be more aware of your actions, but also your facts.

You say that Autism in no way have any similarities to Aspergers where, in reality, they do share a lot of similarities with the symptoms. Saying that they do not share similarities without even achknowledging it is like stating that Pandorum is a real space hallucination disease (reference from the movie Pandorum).

<s>Also, I am quite appaled by your views of [[homos]]exuality and Gay Rights. I am not a gay man myself, but I support homosexuality and Gay Rights as much as I support Women Rights. It's not only a lifestyle, but a choice as well. Sometimes people like to follow or pursue on what feels right for them, even from childhood. That's how life works and that's the fun and beauty of it.</s>

But other than that, I wish you the best of luck with Sonichu and creativity in the future and I hope you have a safe and pleasant day.

Peace.

Joseph Barale}}
''The strikethrough was added by Chris. He removed it on 15 [[December 2009]]. We have retained it in our copy for the sake of completeness.''
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your praises in the first paragraph. I stand with my opinions for the second paragraph. I support Equal Rights too, but I still do not care for their way of life; the sooner they make that vaccine, the better the chances for all those people going to Heaven.}}

===D.A. probably stands for dumbass===
{{Email|From: Leon Klugman <dummyacx@gmail.com>
Hello,

My name is Leon Klugman. My girlfriend just told me that you were stalking her at the local [[Target]], asking if she had a boyfriend and if she was interested in your electric rodent webcomic. If you ever go near her again I will call the police and have you arrested. Have a nice day.

Leon Klugman}}
{{EmailReply|You are obviously a troll trying to pick on my nerves; nice try, D.A.}}

===Anger is now a subtext===
{{Email|From: Daniel Haverford <dhaverford@gmail.com>
My little brother is a big fan of yours. He's read every issue of Sonichu, even the "classic strips". He also has Asperger's Syndrome. As someone who has managed to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's, I was hoping that you could give him some advice. His name is Eric, by the way. Thanks!

Best regards,
Daniel Haverford

P.S. In the last issue, Sonichu was on fire while screaming about gay people. Gays are often referred to as "flaming". Is there some sort of subtext to this or was that unintentional?}}
{{EmailReply|My advice is to Mainstream the child. The ONLY subtext in the flame is ANGER; nothing else.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===ShecameforCWC.jpg finally explained===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
About Megan.
Why did you even draw [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|that picture of you fingerbanging her]]? You knew that was wrong, yet your desire for sexual promiscuity makes you do this.

I would be surprised if you got this letter.}}
{{EmailReply|It was Wishful Thinking.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
''Chris briefly placed these replies in the rejected mailbag before moving them to the autism mailbag.''
===GALL===
{{Email|From: Apple Pie <effence@yahoo.ca>
Hello, Mr. Chandler

I am concerned about the image you portray of autistic people, mainly due to your bigotry and childish ideas about adult relationships. You should take more effort to help yourself, because there is a man in my town who is basically the same as you. We call him the Pervert Park Pervert, because he wanders around the park politely trying to buy a prostitute. He is high functionally autistic, and does not know how to go about meeting people and has been arrested. Being autistic myself, I know you will not try to change unless you have some sort of epiphany. I do not think this will ever happen, because you are very low functioning and do not listen to reason. I highly recommend you seek psychiatric councelling.

Incidentally, here is a robot that uses a similar art style to yours:
http://www.kurzweilcyberart.com/

By simliar I mean that it focuses on line and space more than shape and quality. In the art community, your style is refered to as [[naive]].

--Apple}}
{{EmailReply|I have read your message, and I do not care for your remarks upon me, comparison to some low-life pervert, and even the GALL of referring me as low-functioning.}}

===It's much easier to wallow in denial===
{{Email|From: Gary Feldman <harblcoques@gmail.com>
No one is asking you to care about Asperger's, but they do want to to acknowledge what is an actual proven fact. Asperger's is an Autism spectrum disorder. There is no disputing it.

Is it really that difficult to accept?}}
{{EmailReply|Yes.}}

===In which Chris clings to his autism as though it is the only good thing left in the world===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Norio Wakamoto|Norio Wakamoto]] <smoothboy06@hotmail.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

I think it would be in your best interest if you had your autism rediagnosed. Over the past 20-something years there have been a lot of advancements in the field of mental [[health]], and you might find that your autism could be better classified as asperger's syndrome. They are very close, afterall.}}
{{EmailReply|That is just plain dumb.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 14

2011-08-09T17:51:53Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 14''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 10 [[December 2009]]. Chris answered it the next day.

A very diverse mailbag, the questions asked cover a wide range of topics, and the second mailbag to use letters sourced from [[CWCki: Operation Mailbag|Operation Mailbag]]. There's a notable lack of questions about [[Aspergers]], and Chris's [[autism]] is only brought up once in an indirect manner. No shortage of questions on Chris's [[Homos|alleged straightness]], though.

Notably, Paul McCartney and Elton John out themselves as Sonichu fans. However, Chris appears to have no idea who these people are, so it doesn't affect him much. This mailbag also contains the single most blatant lie of any mailbag so far: what got Chris kicked out of [[Grace Baptist Church]]. He also says that he 'did not care' for Michael Jackson's preference for younger children.

==Answered==
===Pictures of women in bikinis... right...===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]] <josephwalterjackson1929@gmail.com>

Hi Christoper,

I'm a long-time admirer of your [[Sonichu]] franchise... It's been about forty years since I've seen such a powerful and possibly lucrative franchising opportunity.... Sonichu could be huge! I've had a lot of questions that I've wanted to ask you since I discovered your fantastic series about three years ago. Here are some of them:

1. I know that you're a big fan of [[Britney Spears]], but what did you think of Michael Jackson? I loved his music (RIP!), but I certainly thought he was a weird person. Do you think it's weird how he always tried to be a child even though he was over twenty years old?

2. My youngest son, who is 17 years old has a strange connection to my wife. He hates everything about me, but has an unnatural bond to his [[mother]]... I've even caught him sleeping in the same bed with her! I've tried talking to him about this, but just won't listen. Is this normal? What should I do?

3. What's going to happen in [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]]? The action and story in [[Sonichu 9|Book 9]] was second to none... you gripped me from page one until the end!

4. Like yourself, I'm a very devout person, so I was surprised when I was told that you were kicked out of your old church! What happened? I'm still in shock that something like that would happen!

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer these questions... I hope that you and your family have a very merry Christmas!

Sincerely,

Joseph}}
{{EmailReply|Michael Jackson was okay, although I did not care for his skin-color change and the molestations. I am not totally surprised on him trying to be a child at an adult age; obviously there was a piece of childhood or so that he missed out on the first time around, and maybe he was trying to locate that and feel like he hasn't missed a valuable piece of life. Your Son Needs A Girlfriend. Seriously, though, he should have developed the space between him and his mother by this age. I highly recommend finding a girl about his age and encourage the two to hang out together as much as reasonably possible (sub-suggestion: try finding a girl who Looks and maybe Acts like the boy's mother). You'll have to wait and see. The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended.

You all have a Merry Christmas too. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:14, 11 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris sez: [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|Smile at bullies]]===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Charles Whitman|Charles Whitman]] <belltower66@gmail.com>

Chris,

You've given great advice to high school kids before, and I was wondering if you could help me. I'm emailing you because I'm having a real problem with bullying at my school. It started my freshman year with teasing and name-calling, and maybe getting pushed around a bit. I'm a junior now and the problem has continued, and it's getting worse and worse. It's escalated to death threats, the occasional beating, and the bullies will throw things at me from their cars with increasing accuracy. I've tried telling my parents, my teachers, and the principal and no one is willing to believe me or help.

Were you ever bullied in school? If so, what did they do? How did you deal with this? I know you have problems with [[trolls]] now, but what were things like at [[Manchester High]]? You make out your high school days to be pretty great and it makes me wonder if there's stuff you're not letting on. I could see a lot of people being jealous of your artistic abilities and your wide circle of female friends.

What advice do you have on dealing with bullies? If you were bullied how did you deal with it or make them stop?

Any help you could give would be most appreciated.

Charles Whitman}}
{{EmailReply|Well, your bullies were worse than mine in Middle and High School; mine only Teased me by saying stuff like "Sonic's Dead", and throwing coins my way so I would pick them up. Although, I was beat up a bit in 4th grade by a couple of teachers, an aide and a guidance counselor. I told my parents about that; they ended up fighting the school system, and we had to move so I could go to the better schools there.

My best advice is to ignore their plights upon you and count your blessings. Also, if you are objecting to their beatings and whatnot, I would advise you try Being Nice to them; when they threaten you, you Smile and tell them "Stay safe and have a good day." And when they beat you up, you Smile and tell them, "Thank you for the massage, I feel much better now." And depending on what they throw at you, Smile and say "Thank you, I (was hungry/thirsty) (wanted this (item) for a while) (think this will look great in my collection). The point is to make their bullying look more like a pleasantry to you, because that is the response bullies are NOT looking for. In any case, eventually the bullies will tire from it and give up; this will speed that up a bit.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:14, 11 December 2009 (CET)}}

===The pedoglasses stay===
{{Email|From: Johnny Marcus <johnny2day67@yahoo.com>
Hello Chris, I like your comics a lot, but I noticed your [[glasses]] in a lot of your videos are pretty unstylish, and I was curious as to why you wear those frames when there lots of different styles out there. I'm pretty sure you can find a pair that's more flattering for your face and will help you attract more boyfriend-free girls.

Cheers, Johnny}}
{{EmailReply|My frames are good; they look good to me, and they are the best fit for my lenses anyway.}}

===He's a real Nowhere Man===
{{Email|From: '[[Wikipedia:Paul McCartney|Paul McCartney]]' <paul@paulmccartney.com>
Hello there Christian. Last Night I popped in one of your records after being
recommended it by my former bandmate Ringo, while recording a bass line for his
latest album. Now, usually, whenever he said 'O.K., play that part like
Entwhistle would' or 'make it like Ronnie Wood' I would really understand what
he was trying to tell me. But then, yeah, one time he told me something around
the lines of 'Hey Paul. That was great, I love that one. Reminds me of Chris
Chandler' Naturally, I was thinking, 'Who?' 'Cause, you know, I've never heard
of this Chris Chandler guy before. And Well, anyways, he told me about your
[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|COMEBACK album]], which he gave me a copy after recording was finished, and I have
to say. It's absolutely fantastic. I've never heard such a crisp, creative vocal
style in my life. Truly amazing work.

How about you recording a new LP? Is it going to happen any time soon?}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, the tunes your friend gave you were only tracks that were available online, yet I did record them myself for a past girlfriend of mine, and some troll got to the tracks and made them more available for download.

But when the merchandise thing goes underway, my two CDs will be among them, THEN I may record new albums. So at the moment it is uncertain. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:14, 11 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris's most in-depth answer yet===
{{Email|From: Pugs Malone <pugsmalone@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

I've been following your comic and videos for quite a while, and a lot of places have kicked you out due to your [[autism]]. Besides the [[Game Place]], [[Wal-Mart]], the Boy Scouts, the mall, your old church, [[Target]], and [[PVCC]], are there any other places which have unfairly banned you?

Chris Barnes}}
{{EmailReply|No.}}

===Silvana straightness quotient===
{{Email|From: Lyle Stevenson <sonichuforthewin@hotmail.com>
I have been a huge fan of your work for years, and i love every single comic you have ever made, but i have a bit of a problem and I would be in your debt if you could help me.
My favorite character is [[silvana]], and i must admit I have developed a crush on her. Since shes both male and female, does this mean I am on the slippery slope of becoming a [[homo]]? If so, how can I prevent this from happening and remain GOOD and STRAIGHT???

Thank you for your time,

Lyle}}
{{EmailReply|That depends, if you are more attracted to the Vagina, then you are straight}}

===Cuisine and Star Trek===
{{Email|From: Crystle Lumpie <crystlelumpie@live.com>
When I asked what is your favorite food, I meant cuisine, so the confusion is entirely my part. Could I get that more accurately answered, if you don't mind?

Also, about my Star Trek question, you said yes and no. What does that mean?}}
{{EmailReply|Cuisine... I am not sure. Yes, it is a line from Star Trek; No, I use the line as a neutral element for an entry. Similarly, I could have said "Dear Diary", but I chose not to use that line.}}

===Chris's hideous website explained===
{{Email|From: Chad Warden <loltheinterwebs@gmail.com>
Hello, Chris.

What is the story behind the background image you always use in all of your webpages?

I never understood why you keep using it. It looks distorted (like a TV tuned to the wrong channel, yuck) and has a rather ugly puke green shade to it. It makes me feel kinda nauseous.

Did you make it by scribing together yellow, green, and blue crayons? It's very hard to look at.
You said you took two HTML classes. I thought they'd at least teach you about good web design.

Why not use something like a smooth shade of white, or a nice slick gradient texture? Maybe something slick, like a nice, slick black texture like the color of the [[PS3|PS triple]]. Now that would be just straight up <s>ballin'</s>.

Sincerely,
Chad Warden}}
''Chris struck out the word "ballin'" because Chris is weird like that. He removed the strikethrough on 15 [[December 2009]], apparently as a part of a mass decensoring campaign. It has been retained here for the sake of completeness.''
{{EmailReply|The background design is a theme of Sonichu Running; the blue stripe on the bottom is his shoe-color, and the yellow is the rest of him.}}

===Chris's confused answer on child abuse, and The Passion of Our Lord rattles Chris's nerves===
[[Image:SonichuRosechuandJesus.jpg|thumb|Sacrilege of the highest order.]]
{{Email|From: Nick Sikora <nsiky@hotmail.co.uk>
hello to mr chandler!

i am 9 year old called kele and i am write from the city of ndolo in zambia in africa

sonichu is a very big in my town. we all talk of sonichu and sonichu adventures at school. sometimes we must wait 20 minutes to download a page of comic because internet is slow in my town. but we do it still because sonichu is so fun! the school is run by white christian men like you and so i am very thankful of you and all of american christians for giving me school! i love jesus and he died for us all! thank you!

the only time i am not at school talking about sonichu is when my father beats me with his belt for going to the school and makes me plant grain instead! what should i do about father so that i can spend more time at school learning about christian and jesus and sonichu?

thank you for response!

kele

PS i have drawn pictures of my heros sonichu and rosechu and jesus all together

i have drawn it for you chris. :) what do you think of my drawing? thank you!}}
{{EmailReply|OMG! I do not condone parents abusing their children in any form, especially with a belt. On one hand, I should advise you to follow your parental requests to do chores. And on the other, I would tell someone of authority about him abusing you, so he can learn that such torture is no way to raise a child.

Aside from that, I thank you for your support, and I appreciate the drawing, but I feel it would have been better with a hand-drawn Jesus instead of the tortured image; it rattled my nerves a bit. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:14, 11 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris claims it was not rape because she was "asking for it"===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Gloria Steinem|Gloria Steinem]] <gsteinem71@mail.com>

I have been an avid reader of your comic ever since I heard of the wonderful [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]. The [[Rosechus]]' fight for women's rights was the most beautiful depiction of a woman's fight for equality that I have seen in a long time.

However, I was deeply disturbed by the second page of the new comic. You say that you "did the do" with your future self's wife without her knowing it! I was appalled by this horrific act of rape in what I had thought was a brilliant comic book! A children's comic book! Lovely never really consented to having sex with you, but with your future self! The fact that you took advantage of her absolutely disgusts me. You were not the man she loved all those years. You were not the man she married. You knew that you could pass yourself off as being your future self and you used that to satiate your perverse sexual needs.

How dare you.}}
{{EmailReply|You are misunderstood, it was not rape; She mistook me for my future self, and She Asked Me to have sex with her.}}

===Homosexuality is a mental problem===
{{Email|From: Alan McCallister <pushingdaisiesup@live.com>

Hi Chris,

I've been a longtime Sonichu fan and have been too afraid to e-mail you since I was too afraid you'd judge me. I'm a homosexual atheist doing undergraduate research at the University of Virginia on the effects of being a homosexual in predominantly Christian surroundings. I've had the good fortune of being able to see you on campus while I was collecting data.

As a scientific man, I was taken aback by a recent mailbag where you stated that drinking promotes homosexuality in children. What study did you cite for this? My mom never drank until after she had me and I turned out gay. After that she drank like a fish and my three brothers turned out straight.
<s>Are you sure because your mother didn't drink while you were pregant maybe that's why you turned out gay? I mean, come on man ... I know about the [[vibrator]] and anal beads.</s>

Truly and Honestly,
Alan McCallister}}
''Strike through added by Chris because... well, he's Chris.''
{{EmailReply|I am straight, and I do not care for your comments. Also, I know that drinking while pregnant will make the child come out with a mental problem of some sort.}}

===Because claiming Chris is gay never gets old===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Elton John|Reginald Dwight]] <reginaldqdwight@gmail.com>
Hey Chris,

We have a lot in common. We both like to dress in bright clothes, we're both rude and we're both "possibly retarded" (your words). The one difference we have is that I am openly gay and you have yet to come out of the closet. I was once like you. I even married a woman. I used to have sex with women a lot, but it was nothing. I had to accept I was gay and now I'm in a happy relationship.

Just remember this, Chris - if you weren't gay, you wouldn't have had sex with a woman by now.

Love
Reginald
xx}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===In which Chris does not reject a letter from a white supremacist===
{{Email|From: Herr Feldgrau <reichsmarschallfeldgrau@gmail.com>
Heil my white brother!

I was reading your comics and I find them to be a good representative
of white nationalist values. The overwhelming presence of whites in
your stories led me to believe that you would be sympathetic to our
cause. I was thinking that Sonichu stories would be a great way to
teach our beliefs to children. Would you be willing to give me
permission to use Sonichu in such an educational manner? I promise
full credit to you will be given on any work I may produce.

Blut und Ehre,
Herr Feldgrau}}

===Business sense===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Eddie Berganza|Eddie Berganza]] <berganzadc@gmail.com>
Hello Chris-

My name is Eddie Berganza, and I work in the American comic industry. Your comic "Sonichu" was recently brought to my attention by an intern at my company and I viewed your recent videos on [[Youtube]] pitching the concept to "business people." As someone with years of experience in dealing with copyrighted characters, I feel like I need to let you know of some problems I see with you trying to sell your Sonichu character.

Sonichu's creation, in the comics you present, involves two characters who are owned by other companies: Pikachu and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] are owned by [[Nintendo]] and Sega, respectively. Do you have the full written consent of Nintendo and Sega to use their characters? I understand you believe Sonichu himself is an original character, but the fact that a key part of his story infringes on other companies' copyrights makes it virtually IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to get in business with you. I suggest you change Sonichu's origin story to not involve characters you do not have the rights to.

That you continue to refer to him as a [[Pokemon]] also presents a problem. Referencing Pokemon and using characters from that franchise in your own Sonichu franchise is an INFRINGEMENT ON NINTENDO'S POKEMON COPYRIGHT. As just a fan product, this is fine, but your efforts to sell Sonichu into other forms of media and make money off it puts you and anyone who would do business with you at legal risk. As I have come to understand Sonichu, I have to tell you that Sonichu can NEVER BE USED FOR PROFIT under current copyright law. You are pulling in too many characters and concepts from other franchises (Sonic the Hedgehog, Power Rangers, [[Transformers]], Pokemon, to name just a few) to claim your series is fully original.

I am sorry if this news disappoints you. I see a lot of young artists who are naive about copyright law make the same mistakes. Hopefully, you will learn from them and develop a new concept that you will be able to make money on some day. You have a lot of talent for a special needs child and I look forward to seeing the kind of art you produce when you grow up and become an adult. Good luck!}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 13

2011-08-09T17:50:59Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 13''', posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 9 [[December 2009]] is unique among the mailbags in that it does not contain a single actual e-mail. All the letters in this mailbag were written by [[CWCki:Operation Mailbag|a collection]] of [[CWCki]] members to result in maximum information about [[Chris]]'s sordid life.

Due to the focused nature of this mailbag, there is a distinct lack of the common staples of mailbags past. There are no letters on [[Aspergers syndrome|Aspergers]], no drawings sent in by "[[True and Loyal fanbase|fans]]" and only one, completely inoffensive mention of [[homos]]. Each letter does the minimum required amount of ass-kissing to get Chris's attention before launching a battery of questions that the trolls have been curious about.

Chris answered the letters in this mailbag in the very early hours of 10 December 2009. Surprisingly, he actually managed to provide full answers to almost all the questions asked, only occasionally veering off topic to talk about video game betas or shout at his Sysop in bolded all caps.

==Answered==

===Dinosaurs with evolution rights, and some Brotherly Love===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Charles Darwin|Charles Darwin]] <darwinc0100@googlemail.co.uk>
Greetings Christian!

First of all, I'd like to thank you for putting so much effort into creating your wonderful '[[Sonichu]]' comic! The crew on my ship loves to read it, and the adventures of that Electric Hedgehog Poke'mon have inspired us all! My personal favorite character is [[Wild]] Sonichu.

I have a few questions that I'd like to ask you, though...

1. Which theory do you align yourself with, evolution or intelligent design? Most Christians believe that the theory of evolution is nothing but myth, but your comic seems to be pro-evolution. Is this true?

2. What is your current relationship with your brother, [[Cole Smithey]]? I've always enjoyed reading his film reviews, so it was certainly a surprise to find out that you two are related.

3. If God loves us all, then why is there so much suffering in the world? Why are you made fun of so much? Why are there homos and dykes in the world? If all of these things go against God's will, then why do they exist?

4. Whatever happened to your gal pal, [[Chloe]]? I remember you mentioning her in a video a while ago, but she just disappeared after that.

5. How can you justify Rosechu's behavior in Issue No. 8 of your comic? What is it that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] did that was so bad... draw a picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]]? You clain to be "patriotic" and that you "love America" (even though you [[Mumble_7#Summary|don't know the words of the National Anthem]] and [[Twin Falling Towers|mock national tragedies]]), yet you act as is someone creating a parodic image is like an abomination of God. In your mind, is having one's head shoved up an Electric Hedgehog Poke'mon's [[china|vagina]] and then electricuted the correct punishment for drawing a picture?

I look forward to reading Issue No. 10... keep up the good work, Christian!

Your fan,

Charles}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your support. To your first question, [[Honor roll|I am in support of both theories equally.]] God made the Big Bang, then created the Garden of Eden to start, but outside the garden was where the dinosaurs roamed. The dinosaurs, and the other creatures, had to begin in their own way, so God gave them the evolution rights, whereas in the garden, he went to the point "B" of the final creature/human creations. To put it another way, within the garden were his final ideas, and all those outside of the garden were all that were to be made the final ideas being made from scratch. It's like drawing the plans for a house; the plans is comparable to the garden, but to make the actual house, you would have to start from scratch.

Cole and I have not communicated with each other for years; he does not care much for [[Barb|our mother]], whereas I love our mother, so therein is the difference that has made the conflict between him and me. I do not know for sure, but I can imagine they are here as a challenge for us to cope with. If we didn't have these events/people, this world would be boring. I'm not sure who you are referring to, I currently have no recollection of a Chloe. Rosechu was standing up for [[Women's rights|Women's Lib and Rights]], and they have the right to object to being portrayed so wrongfully; I agree fully.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===My brain feels like a bomb, night and day. It must expand!===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Man Who Was Thursday#Gabriel Syme|Gabe Syme]] <honestgabe@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

I've been reading your comics for a long time now, and I have to say, your writing style is very unique! I've grown to appreciate it a great deal, and being an avid reader, I would like to enjoy more books like it!

I absolutely love books of all forms. Some of my favorite authors include Tim Dorsey, Max Barry, GK Chesterson, Robert W. Chambers, Mark Z. Danielewski, and of course, Christian Weston Chandler! :) But I'm curious to know what you like, or what you find particularly inspiring. So I gotta ask:

1.) What books or authors would you say influenced your writing the most? I know you're a fan of RL Stine's work, but are there any others?

2.) What books would you recommend to your fans? Again, I know you enjoy the collective works of RL Stine and [[How to Talk to Girls]] by Alec Greven. What else do you enjoy?

3.) Have other mediums inspired your writing style? For example, I love the storytelling of Gochi Suda (Who wrote the story for games like Contact and Killer7). Are there any TV, Film, or Video game writers that influenced how you tell your stories?

4.) A little bit off topic, but a lot of great writers crave variety, and like to occasionally take a break from their established work and focus on telling a completely new story that's totally disconnected from their prior work. Do you plan on telling any stories with nothing to do with Sonichu, Rosechu, or anybody else from CWCville VA?

Please be as in depth as possible, as I really love your work, and want to know as many of your inspirations as I can! :D

Thanks a bunch, and have a great day!

--Gabe Syme}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you. The "[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]" comic books from Archie's Comics were of good influence. "Of Mice and Men", "The Giver", "To Kill a Mockingbird" and a few others. Definitely ALL Sonic the Hedgehog and Pok'emon titles... and a lot of other various TV Shows, Video Games and Movies as well. I may create such stories. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Dude, Where's My Job?===
{{Email|From: Kevin Flynn kdawgg72@aol.com

Chris, since you're so good at figuring things out I was wondering if you could give me some perspective.

I got a job at Wendy's after my dad said I had to get a real job. Anyway I worked there for a few weeks and the manager fired me! (It was more like 5 weeks but I've been rounding up to two months so it sounds better on my resume) We didn't get along that well but I didn't think it would come to this. I was honestly shocked because I thought I was doing a real good job, showing up on time every day and doing stuff they told me to do. Man, what gives?

I read that you got fired from [[Wendy's]] once, too. Can you give me some more details on your last day? What was your experience at Wendy's like? How did your boss act? How many hours a week were you working?

I feel like a huge failure after getting fired from the only job I've ever had, and it being Wendy's. How did you cope with it?

Take it easy,

Kevin}}
{{EmailReply|I'd rather not go into the last day details. My boss was fair sometimes, but other times his judgment was questionable. The job was okay. I worked about 7 hours a day out of a 5 day work week. I take it one moment at a time. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===[[Women's Rights|Rosechu's running skills are inferior]], and Chris sleeps in the [[nudes|buff]]===
{{Email|From: Amber Blue v3n0m1300@gmail.com
Hey Chris, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you! XD Loyal [[sonichu Girls|sonichu girl]] here, saw you on web soup and then found your awesome sonichu comics! I'm sorry you've had to take so much shit from [[trolls|throlls]], you're obviously straight and I would never buy anything from the [[Ian Brandon Anderson|dumb kid who's impersonating you]]. I hope he is still feeling the effects of that curse you put on him in that one video. I've been wondering some stuff about the world you've created. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Can Rosechu run? I've seen [[Simonla]] run, along with [[sonichus]] like [[Reldnahc]] and [[Walter Grisby]]. Why does Rosechu need to be carried on sonichu's back?

As a white law student who just got a porsche for my birthday, I sometimes like to imagine what it would be like to be married to the creator of sonichu and rosechu. What do you wear when you sleep? Would you like to sleep close to a girl or leave some room in between?

Love the daily updates, keep them coming!

-Amber Blue xoxoxoxxx}}
{{EmailReply|They actually ran that episode of Web Soup? Please e-mail me the details of the episode; what day it aired, episode title and such to my e-mail address at '''ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com''', or make a reply message in the Mailbag, and I will thank you for the response.

'''[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|SysOp, POST HER EPISODE DETAIL RESPONSE IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOU GET IT, PLEASE.]]'''

Anyway, yeah... I am certain he is feeling the curse around him everyday. Rosechu can run on own power, but she likes to be close to Sonichu. Plus, to get to the crime scene on time, he has to carry her, because she can only run average speed; not Sonic Speed. In bed, I'd have to say sheets, blanket and b-day suit; Definitely Close to my woman. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris would not be surprised if a biography was written about him===
{{Email| From:Brittany J. the.scribes@gmail.com

Hey Chris!

I know you're probably REALLY busy right now (the holidays are so [[stress]]ful for me!); so I'll make this really fast. A couple of [[gal-pals]] and I were chatting about our favorite celeb biographies, and I couldn't help but think of you. How would you react if, someday in the future, an independent author wrote a book about you? Like, idk, a CWCography? As long as it's truthful, I think it'd be soooo cool.

Love,
Brittany

PS: Don't let the crazy emails get to you. Some of them seem REALLY WEIRD, lol. }}
{{EmailReply|I agree, I feel it would be awesome, yet I would not be surprised. Que cera, cera; whatever will be, will be. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Rod Blagojevich|Rod B]]. <rblagojevich@msn.com>
Hi Chris,

Recently I got into a little bit of legal trouble. Nothing really bad, it got blown way out of proportion I think. Basically some guys taped me saying things on the phone to a friend AS A JOKE and then told everyone I was being serious (BUT I WASN'T!) and I ended up getting fired at my job. Well I'm still mad about it, but that's not why I'm writing.

During the trial, I tried telling people the truth, but they wouldn't listen, and I just got so ANGRY and started YELLING. I didn't mean to be rude to everyone but they were telling lies and wouldn't listen to the truth! It kind of reminds me of how the trolls are always trying to slander you, and thinking about how you keep going inspires me so I can keep going too!

Anyway, they made me go see a psychiatrist (I AM NOT CRAZY, IT WAS NOT MY CHOICE) and the psychiatrist told me I should take some medicine to help me be less angry. I don't know if I want to or not, I mean sometimes I do get mad and just fly off the handle at people, but I don't want people to think I'm crazy because I take medicine! Do you take any medicine? Do you think it helps? My doctor said he was going to give me pixel or paxel or something like that, have you ever heard of it?

Thanks,

Rod}}
{{EmailReply|Taking medication to quell the anger does not make one crazy. I take medication for my stress levels. Let me tell you, I had taken them for soo long, I had no idea of what it would be like without them. I stopped taking them for one month, and I felt More and Worse Pains in me, so Obviously it was a Huge Mistake for me to stop, so I went back on the medication, and I felt better. I used to take Paxil, but as I got older, I had to switch to a similar prescription, because of Paxil's side-effects that only hit adults. Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Concerning the sanest members of the Chandler family===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:PETA|Patricia Elizabeth Thompson-Andrews]] <pat_e_t_a@gmail.org>

Hey, Chris!

So, I hear you're an animal lover, and that, in the past, you've owned a dog and several [[cats]]! As a fan and fellow pet owner, I just wanted to ask a few questions...

1. Where did you get each of your cats from?

2. I'm having a lot of trouble getting my new kitten house-trained. Do you think I should just give up teaching him to use the litterbox? If so, why?

3. On a related note, my brother has a new puppy, and he's trying to decide whether to housebreak her or just let her live outside in a pen. What do you think, and why?

4. How come we never get to see your cats in any of your videos?

5. Out of the cats you have now, do you have any favorites? If so, why?

Well, that's all for now! Tell the kitties I said hi!

-Patricia}}
{{EmailReply|I got my cats from various occasions and places. Do not give up; if the cat does not like the liter, try newspaper over the box and see if the cat likes that better. Otherwise, continue on with the liter. It depends on the maximum growth size of the dog; if he feels the dog will be too big to keep inside at the later time, then outside is the choice. But if the dog will remain the same size its lifetime, or maintainable size within the house, then inside is good. I had not felt the occasion to show them off yet. I love all my cats equally. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===No one lives forever===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Walter Breuning|Walter Breuning]] <supercentenarian@gmail.com>

Hello Chris,

I was wondering: if you were too old or too sick to continue writing comics, would you ever consider passing the Sonichu torch to somebody else? Your future child, perhaps? I would like to think that the Sonichu legacy will live on and enrich the lives not only of people today, but generations to follow.

Yours in Christ,

Wally}}
{{EmailReply|To my future child, yes.}}

===Cricket team===
{{Email|From: Team CWCket <CWC-captain@yourcricketteam.co.uk>

Hey, Chris!

Just a quick message from a group of your most loyal fans! We're a women's cricket team from England who are all huge fans of your work, so we decided to call ourselves "Team CWCket" in tribute to your good self!

We love team sports, and we noticed that you were a [[Manajerk|manager]] of your high school basketball team - that's so cool! Do you have any cool stories about the team beyond what you've told us in the comic and your writings? We'd love to hear all the gossip!

Hope you have a great day, Chris, and like our team motto says - "Keep a happy thought!"

- From all your pals on Team CWCket! <3 <3 <3}}
{{EmailReply|I will write up some of the stories of my Manager days in a page on the Cwcipedia at a later date.}}

===Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Oedipus Rex|Eddy Rex]] <thebes429@gmail.com>

Hi Chris! As a loyal Sonichu fan, can I ask for a little bit of advice?

See, like you, I'm in my twenties, and I still live with my mother. And people think I'm weird for it. They keep saying I should move out, but I just don't want to. They also think it's weird that sometimes, my mom and I cuddle up next to each other while, say, watching TV. I don't see anything wrong with being close to your [[mother]]!

What do you think? How close are you to your mother?

- Eddy}}
{{EmailReply|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]] to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.}}

=== Tough money choices, previously missing crucial game details, and Moon People ===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Jokela school shooting|Erik Pikkuvikainen]] <humanity_is_underrated@mail.lycos.com>

Hello Chris! I'm a 16-year-old Sonichu fan from Finland.

I've got some questions:

1) I just saw you were looking for sponsors from Europe. I don't like the horrible horrible ads either! I might help! Me and my best friend have €1000 in savings. We were going to buy PS3s (I think they go for about €500 these days, if it's less, we'd buy some games too). Do you think we should buy the [[PS3]]s? I mean, we don't have any other new consoles right now, just old GameCube and PS 1 and GBAs. Or should I spend it on the ad space?

2) These Sonichu games you had mentioned sound awesome. Can you tell us more about what you planned for them? I know they've got Sonichu and Rosechu and other characters, but what kind of games they are? Are they like Sonic 3D games? Or are they more like Pokemon? Or are they something between (like how Sonichu is between Sonic and [[Pokemon]])? Are they action games or RPGs? Or maybe even Action RPGs?

3) [[Metal Sonichu]] was awesome! (I mostly liked him because the metal characters are awesome in SSB Melee) Will he ever return from the [[Moon]]? My friend thinks he's probably allied with [[Silvana]] now - is that true?

-Erik}}
{{EmailReply|To your first question, I am thankful for your gesture, and that you are asking for my opinion. I feel it should be of you and your friend's mutual agreement; which is more important to you both: being charitable for the cause of keeping up the website and removing the ads, or upgrading your videogame console choices? Whatever your decision, I am still thankful for kind and considerate people like you two.

The games would be both; the Pok'emon Lightning Version would be obviously an RPG, whereas [[Sonichu's Adventure]] and CWC's [[Adult Chronicles]] would be 3D Adventures. Metal Sonichu will make his return around Book 12. Neither M.Sonichu or Silvana knows about the other yet. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

=== CWCVille Mall: A New Classic of American Design (and surprise gameplug) ===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Albert Speer|Bert Speer]] <domebuilder@gmx.de>

Hallo from Germany!

I'm a big Sonichu fan, and I like your Comics because I like Sonic the Hedgehog and architecture - I want to be an Architect one day. So it was very interesting to see that you've studied engineering and drafting! And it shows in the Comic! That's why the Comic is so interesting! And I see you've put a lot of effort to the architecture of the CWCville!

But I'd like to know a bit more of the CWCville and the Mall that is featured in the Comic, if you don't mind.

Putting a Mayoral Office in a Mall was pretty innovative! I've not heard of anything like that. You can imagine my surprise, because here, municipal buildings (like City Halls) and business buildings are strictly separate! Is it common in America to have Mayoral Offices in Shopping Malls? If it is unusual in America too - and I guess it could be - how did you come up with such an interesting Plan?

And who owns the CWCville Mall? Here, we have some Government-Owned Enterprises, but I have heard they're quite rare in America. If the Mayoral Office is based in the Mall, does the City own the mall, or have they rented the office space? There must be some special Arrangements in place, right?

As I said, I'm not yet an Architect, but I have made some City Plans. Have you made more detailed City Plans of CWCville? The ones in the Comic are not very detailed, but it would be fun to see a more detailed City Plan.

-*- Bert -*-}}
{{EmailReply|Smart decision on studying building designs and structures, and I thank you for your compliments. I think the concept is unusual around here, but if they can put a Police-Like Office in a Shopping Mall, why not a Mayor's Office or better? We, the city, own the mall space, and then some.

**Spoiler Alert, I will be downloading the Beta for Playstation 3's [[ModNation Racers|Modnation Racers]] the day it comes out; I have a code for it. I plan on creating a race track that goes in and around Cwcville's city, mountains, beach and suburbs. I will draw it up on paper first, then I will create it on the Beta. Hopefully, I'll be able to design my racer to look like me and/or Sonichu, as well as the car to look like my previously built [[Lego]] Go-Karts (all of which were originally designed from Mario Kart 64). A video may be made, and the level WILL be uploaded and shared with the Modnation Community.

Also, Current and New Qore Subscribers, Subscribing before December 18, 2009, will all be able to get a Code for the Modnation Beta, so don't delay, it is Only on the [[PSN|Playstation Network]], and the subscription of 12 Digital Video Magazines is only $24.99.

Pardon my going commercial. :D

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}
''Yes, the same Chris-chan who flat out hates the [[Xbox|X Box 360]] because it has a subscription fee shells out $25 a year for [[Sony]]'s stupid little magazine that contains news you can find on a plethora of gaming sites for free.''

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 12

2011-08-09T17:49:52Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 12''' was uploaded on 8 [[December 2009]] and scheduled to be answered on the same day. Instead [[Chris]] answered [[Mailbag 11]] on the 8th (a day late), and answered this one on the 10th.

Despite Christian's pleas, the emails concerning [[aspergers|Asperger's]] and [[Homos|homosexuality]] continue to stream in. If anything this mailbag has the highest aspie and homo ratio yet. Other highlights include Grrrlpowaanow and Chris receiving his first villain fan OC: an evil gay sadist clown electric hedgehog pokémon.

==Answered==
===In which Chris gives advice he has failed to take===
{{Quoteboxred|From: jimmychina@virginia.usa.com
Hey Chris,

In my lifetime (of 27 years) I have amassed a large collection of video games and toys, many of which I don't play with very often. Unfortunately, in the same lifetime I have also collected a large credit card debt, and it seems the only way to pay it off is to sell most of my collection because I've done little with my life and own nothing else of value. Naturally, I don't want to do this.

What should I do?

Jimmy [[China]]}}
{{Quotebox|Obviously, this is a [[Troll]] letter created just to mock me. Regardless, I respond simply with: Sell on [[eBay]].}}

===Sonichu 10, page 2===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Brad Newman <peoplepeople91@hotmail.com>
In response to my fanmail message:

"That, my friend, is False Love, and NO True Love and Compassion will ever come out of that. You have my pity. Go out and find yourself a Real Woman and you'll be able to love her more than some static clone."

I am greatly offend by this. I feel REAL HONESTLY TRUE LOVE with my 2D wife, Kafuka Fuura. She makes me feel happier than any real women has ever been able to make me.

I thought you understood love, CWC, but I guess not. It's all just sex and physical contact to you.

P.S.

<s>Xbox Live only requires the $50 a year membership to play games online. You can download as much stuff as you want with the silver membership.</s>}}
''The strikethrough was added by Chris, who hates the [[HEXBox]]. He later removed it on 15 December. It has been left intact here for the sake of completeness.''
{{Quotebox|You're response is not appropriate, because a lot of people will agree that you will mostly will feel misery when alone, even in imagination, and I apologize for offending you.}}

===A terrible idea===
[[Image:GayClownChu.jpg|thumb|A wild gay S&M clown sonichu appears!]]
{{Quoteboxred|From: [[Sonichu]] Super Fan 1 <mayorteroh@hotmail.com>
Thanks for your honest answer, CWC, in return im sending you this character for you to use as you see fit, it a sonichu that has parted of the straight path, and his goal is to do the same with every [[sonichus|sonichu]], with his whip he can induce bad thoughts upon his enemies, you can name him.}}
{{Quotebox|The drawing is okay, but I feel that is a terrible idea. I apologize, and thank you for your input.}}

===Separation of church and state===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Boyd Raymond <boydindahood48@yahoo.com>
I noticed that a lot of the characters in your comic are [[Methodist]], like you, so I was wondering, as mayor of [[CWCville]], is it required by law that you have to be a Methodist, or are there people in CWCville who have other religions (and, if so, who are they and what are their religions)? }}
{{Quotebox|There are other religions in Cwcville, and at this time I have thought of them yet, but your input is being greatly considered, and I thank you for it.}}

===Where autism comes from===
{{Quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Besarion Jughashvili|Besarion Jughashvili]] <besarionjughashvili@rocketmail.com>
You are an inspiration to everybody with a family member on the [[autism]] spectrum.

Last week our son, [[Wikipedia:Joseph Stalin|Joseph]], was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. A family member told us about you, and we were amazed at how far you came. We just KNOW that Joseph can become as great as you.

So, do you have any advice for us?

How did your parents raise you?

What kind of therapies did they put you in?

What kind of tv shows were you raised with?

Do you support Neurodiversity and Autism rights? Do you support curing autism?

And last of all, what you think the cause of autism is? Do you think it is genetic or from environmental factors?

Very thanks,

Besarion and [[Wikipedia:Ketevan Geladze|Ketevan]]}}
{{Quotebox|The best advice I can offer, and this answers the second question as well, Raise with Tender Loving Care, let your child make friends, and Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run. Speech Therapy for one; I do not recall any other therapies currently. [[Transformers]], Jetsons, Smurfs, and (Filmation's) [[Ghostbusters]] to name the Top 4, plus Sesame Street and Care Bears. I support all three of those causes, especially finding the cure. Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Harry Potter is still a spaz===
{{Quoteboxred|From: John McTavish <apittanceoftime@gmail.com>
How, exactly, was Harry Potter ever competing with [[Pokemon]]? That makes no sense. They're two completely different franchises intended for entirely different demographics. Never mind that Harry Potter (although having movies and games made from the license) is known primarily as a series of books.

Please don't tell me you just read some offhand statement in [[Nintendo Power]] and passed it off as fact.}}
{{Quotebox|For your information, my opinion for that Spaz is of my own creation; Nintendo Power had no influence in the matter whatsoever. The two came out at the same time, and I felt more for Pokemon, and I just never gave a darn for that Spaz, Harry Potter. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris is not suitable for children===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Nate Hughes <quickzta68@yahoo.com>
Dear sir,

It has come to my attention that my sister has sent an e-mail to you without my permission. She called it a "CWC mailbag" when I confronted her about it. Now, she's 12 years old, so I did some reading on you, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE that my little sister's hero is 27 years old and lives with his parents, craps his pants on a regular basis and acts like an all around retard. This one video really gets to me. "[[I Got A Fish]], Would you like to make a wish"????? That's like something a fucking two year old would make up. And I NEVER went shopping for "How to talk to girls", Jessie made that up too, just so you know. Grow up, and stop targeting children, you creep!!!!

Sincerely,

Nathan Patrick Hughes, Esq.}}
{{Quotebox|You have offended me, sir.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Chris "misspoke"===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Johnny Marcus <johnny2day67@yahoo.com>
Hello again Chris, I noticed that you recently responded to someone's question regarding autism and Asperger's syndrome, and you explained that it only occurs later in life. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 3, and it is something that I have been coping with for all my life. There are also many, many children out there who have Asperger's and have all the symptoms associated with it. How can you explain this?

Cheers, Johnny}}
{{Quotebox|I misspoke, but my opinion stays the same.}}

===Chris the thankful===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Brad Newman <peoplepeople91@hotmail.com>
Hello again, Mr. Chandler.

I noticed your ongoing debate on Asperger's and felt the need to contribute.

It's not a matter of opinion. Asperger Syndrome's definition is a FACT and it's not something that is exclusively diagnosed later on in life. I personally know a couple people who were diagnosed with it when they were in preschool. Just because you decide to shut your mind off from stuff you don't agree with doesn't make it any less true. Accept it and relieve yourself of this ignorance.}}
{{Quotebox|I have read your input, thank you for it.}}

===In which Chris gets offended by something he's said to loads of people===
{{Quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Levi Johnston|Levi Johnston]] <hockey90@alaska.usa.com>
Dude, WTF?

My son has Downs Syndrome! Kids with Downs Syndrome (or any kind of Autism) are over 350% more likely to become homos than normal people.

He needs a strong male influence in his life, otherwise he may reject males as friends and see them as lovers instead! Gross, man!

Also, I am extremely offended that you think I need a job. You don't have a job; does that make you less of a person? Does not having a job make you less worthy of True and Honest Love?

Dude, you really need to stop offending your fans, okay?

Laters,
Levi}}
{{Quotebox|You, sir, have offended me with your badmouthing.}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===Homophobia VS greed===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Demetrius Delicioso <malebuttfinder@live.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,
I am so pleased to see the success and views your CWCipedia gets regularly. I am also so proud to see that you have accepted advertising for Gay Rights. That's why I want you to be an advertising Partner of mine! I would like you to be another kind of Partner as well! ;)

I would like to propose that you sign a contract with my new gay dating agency based in [[Charlottesville]]. MaleButtFinder would love to pay you $1000 each month for ads on the CWCipedia!

Thanks,
Demetrius Delicioso}}

===Grrlpowaanow's last stand===
{{Quoteboxred|From: grrrlpowaanow@aol.com
This will be my last email.

In response to me "letting myself go" in my messages to you, I have not. I am upset and hurt by the things you have said to me, yes, because you are saying disturbing, rude, hurtful, non-Christian things with no regard for anyone but yourself. However, I have never threatened you nor have I attacked you. I can't say the same for you: you typically have let anger get the best of you, and have threatened to kill [[Clyde Cash]] and that [[Liquid Chris|impostor]] (even drew a comic where you shot him with a [[Megatron pistol|gun]]!) many, many times. I've seen the videos and so has my Bible group. Jesus and the Bible taught us that wrath is a deadly sin, Chris, and I am saddened that They could not teach you the same as evidenced by you stomping around on camera like a spoiled toddler and threatening to break people dead. Shame on you.

I would say, once again, that even though sex is a "natural" act, it is not an act that should be done before an audience. God intended sex to be between one man and one woman and no more, not two pornographic actors and an audience, nor is it meant to be done for reasons other that procreation.

However, there is no point in discussing the Bible with you when it is clear that you have never read the whole Bible and will not listen to those who have when it criticizes how you live (remember what you said about criticism? well you're a naive hypocrite for not being able to swallow you own medicine, which is shocking, since I hear you're able to swallow much harsher, saltier stuff). In one video, you say [[Family Guy]] taught you about Leviticus. You're, what, 25 years old, and you had never read Leviticus until some sinful cartoon show that takes the Lord's name in vain taught you about it? It's hard to believe you're that naive and I pity you.

I ask only that you do not pray for me. I do not wish to be dragged into Hell with you (and that's where you go for breaking God's law, the Holy Bible). You have lost a fan in me, you have lost fans in my church, but saddest of all, you have lost a fan in [[God and Jesus]]. I pray for you.}}

===Well, it's not the rejected section...===
{{Quoteboxred|From: Crystal Chondlar <crystalchondlar@gmail.com>
This has to stop, Chris. You're calling people with Aspergers retarded when it is a much higher functioning mental handicap than you have. You're telling people to get a job when you sit around and do absolutely nothing every day. You're telling people to take criticism like a man when you make that fucking annoying stress sigh and ignore any you get. LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING?

Putting me in the rejected section (again) will prove what a spineless fuckup you are, I look forward to seeing this there.}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 11

2011-08-09T17:48:55Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

After answering [[Mailbag 10]], [[Chris]] sent a [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)|message to his sysop]], requesting that future mailbags be better screened for letters that could cause [[stress]]. It would appear this request has gone ignored, as '''Mailbag 11''' has no shortage of difficult questions.

Unlike the last few mailbags, only a few of the questions are about [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Aspergers]]. Several people wrote in to ask about the disturbing deaths of [[Ivy]] and [[BILLY MAYS]]. Other highlights include a suggestion that Chris start freezing all his [[navy]], and a letter from a Sunday school teacher with a very literal take on Leviticus.

==Answered==
===Marriage counseling===
{{Email|From: Chris Hutchinson <menchib@gmail.com>
Hi Chris! I have another question for you!

Nearly all of your [[electric hedgehog pokémon]] have [[sweetheart|girlfriends]]. Has anyone ever broken up in [[cwcville]]? Or do they remain true and honest [[sweetheart]]s forever?}}
{{EmailReply|Well, that is a very interesting question. It is common for couples to their disuptes and disagreements. But in Cwcville, we offer ALL couples our small group of Relationship/Marriage Counsolers. We encourage all legitimate couples to stay with each other, because truly, there is no one who could fill the void of one or the other (respectively) as best as the current partner for either one.

On the other hand, should it go as far as wanting to get divorced or separated, we encourage the Trial Seperation, yet discourage [[Hanky-panky|sexual relations]] during the Trial. Most of the time, the couples stay together with fonder appreciation for each other. Yet, if the couple mutually still feels the need for divorce, we would honor it. Like in Cwcville, the Trial Seperation should be Legally Manditory for all cities, states and countries around the world, because each troubled couple Should at least Try to find appreciation for each other before making it Final.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

=== 15 years cute! ===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:Paul Bernardo|Paul Bernardo]] <pkbernardo12@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

Judging by your response to Levi Johnston, you seem to know a lot much about women, so I thought I would ask for your advice.

I am 26 years old and I have [[wikipedia:Karla Homolka|a beautiful fiancee]], but I can't stop thinking about my fiancee's 15-year-old sister. I don't know how to bring it up to my fiancee that I want to have sex with her sister...do you have any advice on how to break it to her? I love my fiancee very much, but her sister turns me on so much that it's hard for me to function sometimes. My sexual frustration over being denied underage china is building up, and I fear I might become an abusive maniac over this. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

Your fan,
Paul Bernardo}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, like most people would agree, [[Pedofork|adult relations with a Minor is Illegal]], and it is Greatly Discouraged. I highly recommend you avert your sights Away from the younger sister, yet that may be difficult, but with willpower, you can find it to be very easy. Plus, if it helps, I suggest you reprogram your mind a bit; say over and over to yourself that every time you see the young one, or even picture her in your mind, Imagine Replacing Her head with the head of her Father. That should work well.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias===
{{Email|From: Sarah Lutt <FlamBai@hotmail.com>
Dear Chris,

I love the comic, but I need a guy's opinion on something.

I am a [[boyfriend free girl]], but I think that guys don't like, and won't approach me just because I'm in a wheelchair :( So, my question is this; Do you like people in wheelchairs/ disabled people in general? If not, why? Also, in one of your recent comics, did you have to portray [[Ivy]] and [[BILLY MAYS|Mr. Mays]]' deaths like that? I am a big fan of your comic but I feel that letting children read about the graphic demise of a beloved pitchman may scare them; even I was deeply upset by that page, and I never cry, but that page may be insensitive to Billy Mays fans everywhere.
Please reply soon!
Sincerely,
Sarah }}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, Billy did not die in the rescue; ONLY Ivy died there; I should have been more clear on that.

I am cool with physically disabled people, as well as [[Slow-in-the-minds|the mentally handicapped up to a certain point]]. That point being able to understand their speech. I mean no personal offense, and I understand that those individuals can not help their problems, but those with a great amount of facial deformities, who can never say any comprehendable words other than "Uh", "Argh", etc., even as far as to look zombie-like, just plain creep me out.

I apologize for the misunderstanding with Billy, and I plan on making it more clear in the pages of [[Sonichu 10|the 10th book]].

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

=== Another one blows some steam ===
{{Email|From: christina87@mail.com

You still haven't answered any of my previous messages. Why is that? I hate to play the "[[white knight]]" card, but you've left me no choice.
First off, your views on sexuality are ridiculous. You can't change someone's sexual orientation.It is not genetic either. It is basically an aspect of your personality. You really need to understand that. I doubt you'll read this, and probably just block my e-mail address from this account, but I really feel like I need to get to across to you. [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Your CHURCH]] is accepting of other people's lifestyles. So why do you go there if you hate "da [[homos]]" so much? You bigotries not justified, and are probably mindlessly taught to you by your parents. Start thinking for yourself, seriously. I'm not trying to insult or belittle you. Please just listen to people who are trying to help you for once. I'm sure you're a good person deep down, but you need to show people you are. It is completely normal to be of a different orientation, and you can't "get" gay from anyone else. I really would like to see you improve yourself.}}
''Chris added an email reply template to the bottom of this letter, but has yet to actually type a response. It's possible he forgot about it.''

===In which Chris is a fucking monster===
{{Email|From: James Reed <jimfnreed@gmail.com>
My name is Jim F.N. Reed, and I am a 64 year old veteran from Ohio. I spend my days working as a history teacher and golf coach, and then going home and reading your comics to my grandson, Billy. As an [[autistic]], Billy readily relates to you and your comics, and it gives me something to do besides polishing my golf clubs and rings.

However, I didn't write this here letter just to ramble about myself. I was reading your comic to Billy last night, and reached page 92 of [[Sonichu 9|issue nine]], wherein you graphically describe the death of a woman named "Ivy". Are you out of your dang mind, Mr. Chandler? I thought this was a children's comic, and you've got a quarter of that page devoted entirely to a graphic description of some poor woman dying a grisly death in an elevator. When I read that to Billy he was so shaken up he couldn't sleep all night, and then this morning when I was taking him to school, he refused to take our apartment building's elevator. The poor boy dozed off on the way down and ended up falling down fifteen flights of stairs. He's still alive, but now he's brain damaged and physically deformed, and all he does is sit around and say "Uhhhhh..."

What the hell do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Chandler?

-Jim F.N. Reed, Ohio}}
{{EmailReply|I apologize for what happened to your grandson. Ivy was a Real Person; my Girlfriend, and she died in Hanging Suicide a few months ago. It was a mistake putting real people into my comics. Because of her death, I had to remove her from the story. She was my [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend]]; [[Ego|How Do You Think I Feel?]] --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Just plain stupid===
{{Email|From: [[wikipedia:There_Will_Be_Blood|Daniel Plainview]] <how_can_you_be_sure@hotmail.com>
Dear Christian Christopher Ricardo Weston Chandler,

I have been following your Sweetheart Search for some time, so I am curious to ask you; what would you do if you finally got laid and found out that sexual intercourse isn't nearly as gratifying as you have hyped it up to be for yourself? What if after more than a decade of wondering, hoping, and waiting, you finally meet a nice girl, get to date number three, and are left feeling cold and soulless afterward?

I only ask this because most men get to sate their hormonal urges within a 5 year window after becoming sexually curious (fyi: When I lost my [[virgin]]ity at 16, it was pretty friggin' rad... and actually it's still really rad!), but you've had probably well over a decade to wonder what it would be like... so I can't help but be curious as to whether or not this extended period of time would make having your first sexual encounter to you like watching [[Wikipedia:Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace|Star Wars: Episode I]] was for many of us; not worth the wait.

My intentions are not to put you down, I just can't help but wonder if you hadn't ought to reign in your expectations. If you end up not enjoying intercourse with a female, I fear you may turn into one of those dirty homos.... and I couldn't bear that.

Your friend for life,
Daniel Plainview}}
{{EmailReply|That is Just Plain Stupid, but thank you for your input anyway. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

=== Science gets done and you'll make a neat gun ===
{{Email|From: Herp Aderp <4shbringer@gmail.com>
Hi Chris,

I'm a big fan of your work. I've read all the comics, and enjoy them all, especially the sub-episodes. The daily updates are like getting a present every day! Thank you, and keep it coming!

I have 2 questions:

1) Why don't you make more [[Captain's Log]] entries? I enjoy hearing about whats going on in your life, even if its a quick update, and would like to hear from you more often, as I'm sure your entire [[fanbase]] does!

2) Have you considered doing a more scientific "comic"? I thought your "Examining Sonichu and Rosechu" segment was brilliant, and very close to a college-level text book. Maybe doing a similar one on the (physical and mental) human reproductive system would be insightful? If you could make it into a text book (or even a chapter in one), it could be very lucrative since college text books are EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!

One more thing, I know you're a big [[Britney Spears|Brittney Spears]] fan (as am I!), and I'm wondering what you think of [[Wikipedia:Lady Gaga|Lady Gaga]]? I think she's the best thing since Brittney, and I was wondering if you've heard her music/seen her yet.

THANKS!
Herpnatious G Aderp}}
{{EmailReply|A bunch of times, I don't have a thought that I feel is worthy as a Log, but I type them in as often as I have them. I will take the scientific book under consideration. [[Wikipedia:Poker Face (Lady Gaga song)|"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my POKER FACE."]] She's okay. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

===The difference between rubbery pirates and laconic manchildren===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Joseph Joestar|Joseph Joestar]] <josephjojojoestar@gmail.com>
Hey Chris, how's it going? I like the new mailbag thing. It reminds me of the SBS sections from the manga [[Wikipedia:One Piece|One Piece]], where the author answers questions from his fans. Do you read One Piece? Is this where you got the idea for doing a mailbag?

Also, while I like the [[mailbag]] (as I've said above), I'm sometimes a little disappointed with your answers. They tend to be kind of short and simple. An example I would give is when someone asked you what you thought of gun control. Your answer was, in its entirety: "I agree with gun control".<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref>

That's not enough! I want to know WHY you agree with gun control, and your opinions on the issue, not just a "yes or "no". This was just an example. Please give longer and more detailed answers to your mail. Myself and the rest of your fans would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading,

-Joseph "[[Wikipedia:JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|JOJO]]" Joestar}}
{{EmailReply|I see, well at some times, my mind goes blank, so I have to run to the short answer(s). --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

===The obscure clauses of the Mosaic Law===
{{Email|From: Mary Sullivan <merryhappyjoy@yahoo.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

My name is Mary Sullivan. I am a Sunday school teacher. A parent recently came to me and told me her son was reading your [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]], and asked me to look into it in order to see if it were a wholesome Christian comic. After digging into it by searching your name online and seeing some of the videos you posted, I will have to say that I am shocked by what I found.

In particular, in one video, you quote Leviticus. However, in [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|a later video, you show yourself shaving]]. You should know that Leviticus tells us that it is unchristian to shave. Please read Leviticus 19:27: "You shall not round the edge of your head, nor shall you destroy the edge of your beard."<ref>[http://bible.cc/leviticus/19-27.htm]</ref> In another video, you are unshaven, but are sporting tattoos. I have learned later that these tattoos were indeed fake,<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> but you're still promoting an unchristian message by wearing them, as Leviticus 19:28 reads, "And you shall not make a cutting for the dead in your flesh, nor shall you make a written tattoo upon you; I am YHWH."<ref>[http://bible.cc/leviticus/19-28.htm]</ref>

These are the words of God. I would suggest you pray on this, and speak to your church counselors about Leviticus, especially on [[homos]]exuality (including lesbians), shaving, and tattoos. Until you can make amends, I can only tell parents that Sonichu is not a Christian comic, and warn them from letting their children read it.

God bless.}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, those tattos were FAKE Tattoo Sleeves that I wore for a short while. And then I respond to the rest of the message, The Bible is a Guideline to Life; [[Chris and religion|You don't have to necessarily follow it to the letter]], As Long As You Are Happy In Your Life and Living It Well. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris assumes none of us owns dictionaries===
{{Email|From: alan greenstein <alanboggogreenstein@gmail.com>
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Mr. Chandler

I read your comics all the time but I was just wondering if you could please explain to me and to your fans what a [[parody]] is and how [[Sonichu]] is a Parody of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]

Thank you Very Much and Good Luck with your future

Sincerely,

Alan Greenstein}}
{{EmailReply|"Parody", a Noun, A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect.}}

===The near-obligatory autism question===
{{Email|From: Jesse Barmby <barmby.barmby@uleth.ca>
Hi Christian, I wrote to you not to long ago asking about what I can do to
have an autistic child. You suggested I read about [[autism]] on [[Wikipedia]],
because, in your own words, "raising a child with Autism is A LOT OF HARD
WORK". Boy, you were you right!

After doing some research, I found out that autistic kids such as yourself
are [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally retarded]], ugly, [[fat]], [[naive]], [[Art|can't draw]], and will usually be
[[virgin]]s forever. I also read that autistic children have [[I AM STRONG|poor muscle
tone]], which explains why you are so weak and have no strength at all.

I hope you're not offended by these comments, this is simply what I found
in my research, which you suggested that I do. You likely disagree with a
lot of these comments, but that's simply because you're too stupid to
understand. It also says that [[Aspergers]] is a type of autism, but you are
so severly mentally handicapped and fat that you don't seem to be able to
comprehend this.

To follow up, because autistic people have so many problems, do you think
that they should be euthanised? If you don't know what euthanasia is
because you are mentally retarded, you can look it up on wikipedia.

Anyways, thanks for the previous response! GO OUT AND ZAP TO THE EXTREME!}}
{{EmailReply|In response to your question, WHAT ARE YOU, A CRAZY MANIAC?! HELL NO! I disprove of euthanasia on the basis of mental retardation. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
=== Are there any naval bases in Alaska? ===
{{Email|From: Frank Capone <frnkcapone520@gmail.com>
Hello Chris-

I have been reading Sonichu for a while now and have recently seen some of your [[Youtube]] videos. In one video, you explain that you drink your own "[[navy]]" or [[semen]] after you [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[recycle]] it. I assume you mean you want to put the sperm that left your body back into your testicles.

I do not know who told you this was how the human body worked, but this is NOT true. Your digestive system is not at all connected to your reproductive system. When you ingest your semen, it will go straight to your stomach, where the acid in there will KILL all the sperm. Sperm are very fragile and cannot survive for long outside of the protection of your testicles. In fact, the moment sperm exits your body, they are destined to die unless you FREEZE THEM. The heat and power of your stomach acid would definitely kill them.

If you are truly interested in saving all of your seed for future child bearing, I suggest you put all semen you produce through masturbation into your refrigerator or, even better, your freezer. That way you can later have a doctor put the frozen sperm into your wife.

Hopefully this has helped you in your quest for your future-daughter Crystal. I sincerely hope you have not already killed the seed that would create her by drinking it.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I thought of the idea myself without external influence. [[Lie|Second, I have stopped doing that over a year ago.]] And the freezing idea has come to mind before, and I will consider it further.

I apologize for putting your message into the reject, but I felt it was not appropriate or cannon to and with the more appropriate letters. Thank you for your input.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:34, 9 December 2009 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Mailbag 10

2011-08-09T17:47:41Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 10''' is yet another [[Mailbag]] uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 5 [[December 2009]]. [[Chris]] answered them on 6 December 2009, and in doing so managed to mess up most of his reply templates, meaning that very few of his replies were actually readable on their original page.

This Mailbag contained several letters regarding Chris's stance on [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's]], which was recently revealed to be far more insane than suspected. Chris also receives several more [[troll|fan]] [[:Category:OCs|OCs]], a follow up letter about the [[Mailbag 9#Iranian democracy|Iranian elections]] and a somewhat blunt introduction to the masterpiece "Sonichu is Dead".

This was also the batch of emails that finally pushed Chris over the edge, causing him to beg his sysop to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#Mailbag Issue (CCS)|stop uploading stressful emails]].

==Answered==
===The incredible vanishing email===
{{quoteboxred|From: David Crass <crasscrab@gmail.com>

Dear Chris Why is [[Rosechu]] so useless? It's like she's some sort of classical feminine trope. The only time she has ever actually done anything was when she sexually assaulted [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. I don't know how you see it, but as far as I can tell, Rosechu is little more than a sex object. I mean, all she seems to do through most of the comic is hang on [[Sonichu]], take nude pictures of herself, and get kidnapped. Care to explain how exactly it is that you preach women's rights while at the same time falling back on classic female caricatures?

Sincerly, David Crass
PS: Your plots seem to be getting more and more convoluted and unnessarily complicated, with nothing ever tying together and a myriad of new characters being introduced and retconned, only to play no real role within the overall plot.}}
''This letter was originally posted to [[Mailbag 4]]. Chris moved this letter to the [[Rejected Mailbag]] on 26 [[November 2009]], then answered it 8 days later on 4 December, and finally moved it here on 6 December. It was revealed in the [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|Jack Thaddeus call]] that the letter was from [[Jack]], and that Chris only answered it after Jack called him out.''
{{EmailReply|She is not useless, sure she has gotten captured, but she is quite excellent in the offense and defense too. Plus, look at [[Amy Rose]]; she is not useless, yet she gets captured sometimes too. She is not just a sex object; she is an individual with her own feelings, aspirations and opinions. More of her character will show in later pages.

Maybe they are not the main character at the time, but they do serve their purpose overall.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:30, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Does Chris hate homos today?===
{{Email|From: [[IRC (23 July 2009)|Bill Riley]] <bill.riley42@yahoo.com>
Dear Chris,

I just have to say I LOVE your [[Sonichu comics]]! It has really captivated me and I feel I can't stop reading! I have to say one of my favorite characters in the comic is the creator himself, Chrissy! My favorite quality in him is that he is SO CUTE! I love his courage and will-power to overcome such intense experiences! Never give up you hunk!

Stay sweet!
Bill}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, thank you for your support, and secondly, I DO NOT CARE FOR YOUR HOMOSEXUAL FLIRTS; I AM STRAIGHT!!! SO GET OVER YOURSELF AND GO FIND A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH!
[[Stress Sigh|*sigh*]]
I'm sorry for that outburst, but I have just read a not very pleasant message/image; it just was the wrong time for me. Anyway, I ONLY Love Women, so No homo flirt of any sort is allowed.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Iranian democracy revisited===
[[Image:Burqachu.jpg|thumb|The Middle East is a wonderful place to live. '''NOT!''']]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]] <ajad368@yahoo.com>

Hello,

Thank you for for kind reply, Mr. Chandler. I have tried being kind and courteous, but my people will not believe I won the election fair and square! Is there anything else you can suggest I do to make them calm down?

And thank you for your kind consideration of including an Iranian character in a future comic! Sonichu is very popular in Iran, and your face is well known here. Adding an Iranian character will only make it more popular.

Here I include my humble suggestion for a new Rosechu. She is adhering to the standards of Iranian beauty by wearing one of our traditional cloaks, which protects us from the harsh climate of our country.

The cloaks hold special powers, and if she finds a sweetheart he can finally take the cloak off of her and reveal what she looks like.

I'm sorry, but my drawing skills are not good! Not nearly as good as yours!
Your friend,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad}}
{{EmailReply|That is good, and your drawing is okay. I have saved it onto my Memory Stick, so it will be considered. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===The times they are a changin'===
{{Email|From: bilboggins@email.com

While some comics feature dates, other comics have no dates on them, so it's hard to tell how much time has passed between the stories in the CWCiverse. For instance, how much time passes between episode 19 and episode 20? A Sonichu timeline, featuring dates when things happen in the CWCiverse, would really help.}}
{{EmailReply|That issue will be addressed greatly in future comic pages. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===God save the queen===
{{Email|From: Steven Shaw <cpt.capslock@hotmail.co.uk>

awesome to finally get a chance to talk to the creator of the Sonichu comics. Hope you can answer a couple of questions for me.

My questions are:
1: I know sonichu evolves into Metonic/Ulrta Sonichu and Rosechu evolves into Vamprosa, but do any of the other Sonichus or Rosechus evolve? If so, what into?

2:Where did Darkbind come from? he ssems like a really cool character but he only got a 1 page summary for his back story.

3:What happened to the people/pokemon who brought up the chaotic combo? Did the whale come back and finish of Swampert? Don't leave us in suspence!!!

4:What's the deal with the new site ads? I think someones trying to mess with you (I mean, "Duck Presevation Society" really?)

oh well that's all i wanted to ask.

Toodle-pip (Yes i'm British)
SS}}
{{EmailReply|Only the original Sonichu and Rosechu can evolve; the others have no current evolutions. Darkbind comes from the distant region of [[RuleCWC|Rulecwc]]. Those individuals current status will be addressed in future pages. Blame [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddius]], as stated in my current blog on this date; he is a Sonichu-Hater. To complain to him about that, as well as the God Damn homosexual ads, you can e-mail him at '''jackthethadius@yahoo.com'''. I really want to get rid of every last one of them too. Oh, and check out the message at the top of this mailbag from "Dave"; that is Jack too. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Moar OCs===
[[Image:Pepe.jpg|thumb|He gave it his best.]]
{{Email|From: Randy McFalsa <misterdomino23@gmail.com>

First allow me to introduce myself. I am Sebastian Wulver and I am a humongous fan of your comics. I've been reading through the fan mail and seen all sorts of fan made sonichus, so I thought I'd make my own... it's not quite as good as yours but I gave it my best.

He's called Pepe'. I hope you like him.

Peace from a true and honest fan

-Sebastian-}}
{{EmailReply|Actually is a good drawing; I have the .jpg now saved on my Memory Stick Duo for future consideration. Thank you for your contribution. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Parkour more for the high score===
{{Email|From: Jamie Stevens <anger_cultist@yahoo.com>

Hello there Chris!!
Parkour or Free-Styling as it's also known as; is an awesome sport to get into. Will you be making more parkour videos?? PLEASE DO!! you should have someone record you doing crazy flips and tricks like the pros do. Perhaps even a Sonichu doing parkour?

--Jamie}}
{{EmailReply|I will consider that. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris demands money to visit Austria===
{{Email|From: ernestmecklinger@artlover.com
Hello Christian Weston Chandler, greetings from Austria.

I am an admiral in the Österreichisches Bundesheer, and I've introduced your Sonichu comics to some of my fellow officers and it's a big hit. I have taken it upon myself to translate your comics into German for the benefit of the troops in my battalion who do not speak English and they are begging for more. Now that Sonichu 9 is nearly done, I'm afraid the wait for the 10th comic will leave my soldiers in suspense and since we don't have much else to do these days this may affect morale. It would be really great if you could do you best to keep up this lightning-fast pace at which you have been uploading new pages permanently so we can all enjoy your work without having to wait too long.

I would also be honoured to have you as a guest in my country, I'm even talking with High Admiral Lohengramm about possibly presenting your with an honourary Orden vom Goldenen Vlies. I believe it would look quite nice along with your Sonichu medallion.

Thanks for your wonderful stories, they bring much joy to the lives of my men and myself.

- Ernest Mecklinger}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your support and honor. As long as the Round-Trip Flights have been paid for by your people, my family and I would be happy to visit your country, and for me to accept the honor.

Also, you won't have to wait long for the 10th book to start after I upload #9's 100th Page, although there are quite a number to draw that go before the Previewed 8 Pages, and they are definitely included as part of that book.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Meet Asperchu===
[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|All around awesome guy Asperchu pretends to be happy upon seeing his retarded brother, Sonichu.]]
{{Email|From: Alec-chan [[Asperchu]] <albasperchu@live.com>
Chris,

This is Alec. Why have you not responded to the truly amazing comic I sent you?

I am referring of course to my one TRUE and HONEST creation, the original ASPERCHU, the electric/aspergers type hedgehog pokemon, which I recently showed to you as a token of my esteem for you. I think you are perhaps scared and confused by my rise to greatness. If I knew you were to ever be worried by my meteoric rise to fame, I would NEVER have written to you with such uncareful regard for your feelings. I wanted you to know that you have inspired me to GREATNESS, NOT to take anything away.

You have recently written your feelings on the ASPERGERS, which shows me that you are indeed worried that one such as I wants to take away your fame and glory, and I assure you this is simply the furthest from the TRUTH. Allow me to enlighten you on the real nature of the aspergers, which as you say is not like the [[autism]]. For one, we aspergers folks have the troubles with communicating to other people, we are very shy and have trouble making others to understand us. We also, secondly, have trouble with focusing too much on one thing at a time. I think that is where the confusion lies, for people see your utter DEVOTION to only Sonichu and your Playstation 3 and NOTHING ELSE as perhaps connected to aspergers; they do not realize that the fact you do not have time for the lesser things like work and friends as a sign of a TRUE and HONEST artist.

On a second note, I think you were scared of my speaking to you because I compared myself to you. You see, I did not mean to compare my ASPERGERS to your AUTISM, for as you say the two are totally and completely different and are never and have never been the SAME. The only way I wanted to compare myself to you is that as you are an artist, I aspire to be an amazing artist as well. I hope you will accept my peace offering of ASPERCHU and SONICHU meeting as friends that I have attached.

Your friend and protege,

Alec Benson Leary}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME, and second, I apologize for putting your letter into the Reject page, but I felt it necessary, because 1), you are obviously a Troll from what you've typed. And 2), your drawing infers homosexuality, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT GOD DAMN LIFESTYLE OR WHATEVER WORD IS USED TO DESCRIBE IT!!! --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:00, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Chris worked hard===
{{Email|From: Greg Renner <gregrenner@pacificwest.com>

Chris.

For years, us autistics have struggled being relegated to the lesser role compared to those higher functioning than us.

You say you fight for our people. But let me ask you, if you found a cure for autism, would you use it to eliminate us all?

Or, how about if you found a cure for neurotypicalism? Would you use it to liberate us from being of the lower social caste?

I would pray that you made the right choice, and even the playing field for humanity. Imagine, there would be no more indifferences. Everyone would be equal.

There would be no trolls or people to bully you for what you are, because they also would be the same! Nobody to make fun of you for being autistic, because they too would be autistic.

So, what do you say? I pray that after all you have done to bring glory to us Autistics, that you would not in the end betray us all.

Sincerely, 
Greg Renner}}
{{EmailReply|I would not betray any of my Autistic Folk, but I worked hard to be accepted like a normal person; don't you want to be accepted like that as well? --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:00, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris thanks someone for their support, then ignores them===
{{Email|From: Maryanne Penny <aspergersawareness@hotmail.com>
Hello, Christian Weston Chandler!

I am with the Autism Society of America. Me and my associates of the Aspergers Syndrome division of the foundation have noticed your rise rise in fame over the last few years and would like to congratulate you on a job well done! We are very impressed with your ability to overcome the limitations your Aspergers Syndrome gives you. Not many children with Aspergers Syndrome or it's variations (autism especially) can overcome those hurdles, and they fall short in life.

You, however, are an inspiration to them. A brave little boy I know with Aspergers Syndrome came up to me and showed me a drawing he had made. He took Mario and drew him as a wizard from the popular Harry Potter franchise. He then told me that his [[Sonichu|"Marry Potter"]], as he liked to call it, also had Aspergers Syndrome. It was a little weird, so I asked him why he would burden such a wonderful character with such a terrible disease like Aspergers Syndrome. He told me, and I'll never forget this, "Marry Potter does a lot of great things and he's super amazing! His Aspergers Syndrome doesn't hurt him like it hurts me, and I think that's really awesome. I hope to be like him someday, but I know getting rid of this Aspergers Syndrome is impossible." Normally, I would have nothing to say to that, but thanks to you, I can give these Aspergers Syndrome inflicted children the hope they need. They now know that overcoming Aspergers Syndrome is not just something only superheroes like Marry Potter can do.

So once again I thank you, Christian. You're a Super Aspergers Syndrome Hero, and I would feel honored if you put up a page on your website supporting Aspergers Syndrome and its less prevalent variations(like autism).

Sincerely,

Maryanne Penny}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your support; I will take it under consideration. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:00, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris does not care for your derogatory remarks...===
{{Email|From: Cad Earnest <goldorthegold@yahoo.co.uk>

I don't really see your point in your argument in the aspergers page on cwcipedia. It kind of seems that you're JEALOUS of people with the syndrome and that you hate them for accomplishing more than you despite having similar conditions.

I mean if they shun you by having better communication skills. Doesn't that mean everyone with out a mental disorder shuns you by being better than you? I think you need to accept when you're incorrect about something.

I'd also like to deconstruct your point:

"I have not only Helped cultivate the First Generation ofAutistic People, but I have gone beyond the Autistic Dreamsacademically, communicatively and socially. Still, I have troublemaintaining Eye-Contact, my mentality is sometimes slow yet quick atother times. The people who first evaluated me ever even stated that Iwould never even make it to High School, much less even Write His Name. Take That and Smoke It, oldest doctors.I have worked very hard to achieve and maintain Honor Roll throughoutMiddle and High School, and even to make the PVCC Dean's List, andfulfill my parents' wishes to work for and earn the Degree andCertificate for Computer Aided Drafting and Design."-Christian Weston Chandler

This is while claiming to have high functioning autism. It's not like you're low on the spectrum and getting these achievements. High functioning has to be the closest to aspergers so whoever first diagnosed you had mis-information... unless you were diagnosed as low functioning autism(with an IQ of lower than 80) there's no way you couldn't have made it through highschool taking remedial courses.

I've also noticed however haven't you admitted several times that you are "Sometimes retarded"?, I also think there are better autistic role models out there than you. I apologise if there is any offence but you currently don't even have a job and it REALLY doesn't seem like you're that serious about marketing Sonichu. You may have passed high school and got a 2-year CADD certificate in 6 YEARS. But you've done nothing with it.

Most notably in your comics you never use a ruler, your maps aren't even to scale could you tell me what they actually taught you in CADD classes? Also Doesn't CADD Chef relate to your CADD teacher who gave you F's, how did you make the Deans list when you got F grades? You have to be either lying or everyone must have been put on the list for simply passing.

Your argument is flawed, beforehand you were saying autism is superior. Now you're saying people with aspergers are faking it too simply look better than you. You haven't really showed the world how successful Austic people can be because you just play videogames and waste your life away.}}
{{EmailReply|Your comments have been read, I do not care for your derogatory remarks, and have a good day. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:00, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

===...But he's cool with copy-pasting replies===
{{Email|From: D Follett <dfollett09@gmail.com>

Autism vs. aspergers is NOT a competition. You don't need to prove that you're more pathetic than anyone else - the fact that you crap your pants like a 2 year old proves it enough.

As someone with aspergers, I am insulted by your ignorance and outright hatred towards someone with a very similar problem to your own. I don't care what YOU have, or what you think you are - you insulting anyone else, ever, in the entire universe, is hilarious.

You have conquered nothing. You have deluded yourself into thinking you're better than your autism, but you have accomplished nothing in your life but making yourself look more and more foolish every day.

I'd put some serious work into myself if I were you. Your parents will not live forever, and when they are gone, there is no way you could afford to keep that house. You will be moved into a home with the 'slow minded' and the developmentally disabled, as you have completely failed to prove that you are a mature human being who is capable of managing anything more complex that a little LEGO universe.

I felt sorry for you for a long time - for the trolls who make up fake girls that you fall in love with, to the trolls who have you honestly believing that people like your shitty artwork. You are racist, homophobic, and ignorant.

Shut the fuck up and leave those with aspergers out of it, you asshole.

D Follett}}
{{EmailReply|Your comments have been read, I do not care for your derogatory remarks, and have a good day. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:00, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Parodies==
===In which Chris is introduced to the definitive Sonichu experience===
''Chris moved this letter from Mailbag 10 to the parodies page in the early morning of 15 [[December 2009]].''
[[Image:Sonichu'sFinalMoments.JPG|thumb|Sonichu's epic death.]]
[[Image:SonichuWhoring.JPG|thumb|Sonichu: the ultimate manwhore.]]
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>

Hi Chris,

Glad to see you're working on the comics again, although I think Episode 20 is dragging on too long. The Dating Education one and Issue #8 said "Christian Weston Chandler" more than this really recent stuff. I'd also like to see more comics about the things you accomplish each day, and maybe see your family in the comics. I'm sure you lead an interesting life.

Anyway I read your recent blog entry about how you don't care what other people do with Sonichu, <s>so here's my stupid bullshit</s>. I'm not great with digital coloring yet but I figure I'll get better with practice:

<s>Sonichu is Dead: http://sonichu.thecomicseries.com/</s>

<s>Sonichu is Gay: http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com/</s>

Stay straight,

Sean August Watley

(P.S. <s>I'm still working on Sonichu is Gay</s>. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them!)}}
''The strikethroughs were added by Chris, who presumably went mad with rage. When he moved the letter on 15 December, he removed the first and last strikethroughs, leaving only the ones for the Sonichu is dead and Sonichu is gay links. Nobody knows why.''
{{EmailReply|STOP IT! Sonichu is Straight, so STOP THE PRESSES RIGHT THERE AND GO NO FURTHER!

Those side-stories of my life may be drawn in other pages, but not at the moment. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:03, 7 December 2009 (CET)}}

{{Mailbag}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

Mailbag 9

2011-08-09T17:46:38Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 9''' is yet another [[mailbag]], uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] on 3 [[December 2009]]. Chris was scheduled to answer it on the same day, but didn't get around to responding to it until the 4th.

This mailbag was notably international, containing letters from Scotland, Germany, Iran (again), and an undisclosed nation that speaks Arabic, which [[Chris]] was too lazy to dump into one of the many free translation websites available on the internet.

Some of the high points of this mailbag include Chris babbling about how he is vaccinated against homos, and failing at weights and measurements. He also gets a few more pieces of fanart, and takes a few moments to advise a ruthless dictator on how to affect public opinion with propaganda.

==Answered==
===Homo blood===
{{Email|From: Jennie Richardson <blakesgurl@hotmail.co.uk>
Hey Chris you're a fan of the [[American Rabbit]], and you wih he had his own show, well why not bring him into your comics like [[Sonic]]? Or else you could make your own version, the [[CWCville]] Rabbit!

Oh, and will you ever do any comics about your adventures in the [[Time Void]]? I know you said you would use your blood to cure [[homos]]exuals. Hey, if injecting a homo with straight blood turns them straight, what would happen if a straight person was injected with homo blood?
If [[Naitsirhc]] injected you with his blood would you turn homo?}}
{{EmailReply|I will take that into consideration. Also, I do plan on drawing some pages of my time in the void. Before I left that time with the syringes of the Straight Gene, I was injected with a Vaccine that prevents homosexual blood to affect me in anyway. Plus, that vaccine is in all of the syringes with the Straight Gene}}

===Christian: King of England===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:The Big Lebowski|Walter Sobcheck]] <wltrsbchck9@gmail.com>
Hi, Chris! Long time fan of your amazing comic writing you.

Just two quick questions:

Have you seen the movie "King Ralph" featuring John Goodman? It's the story about an American who is descended from the British Royal Family and finds himself in the position of King of England!

Since your ancestry can be traced back to [[Anne Boleyn]], this could theoretically happen to you as well. What would you do if you were the King of England? Would this affect CWCville in any way? I think you would be a wise and just CWCking.

Best regards,

Walter Sobcheck}}
{{EmailReply|That is interesting, although I have never heard of the movie. **I promise to think about it further, and replace this sentence with my final thoughts. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Request hour===
{{Email|From: Fly Griffith <[[Wikipedia:Armin_Meiwes|metzger]]-[[Wikipedia:Mein_Teil|meister@live.com]]>
Hey Chris,

I admire your singing talent, and I would like to know if you take requests?

Thanks.}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for the compliment. I am not currently taking requests, but I may change my mind in the future. Stay Safe. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Deutschland, Deutschland über alles===
[[Image:Jürgenchu.jpg|thumb|Mein Gott!]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Horst Wessel|Horst Wessel]] <[[Man in the Pickle Suit|mann_im_essiggurkeanzug]]@hotmail.com>
Liebe Chris,

Viele Grüsse aus Deutschland! Ich bin eine grosse Befürworter der Sonichukomik. Ich habe ein Paar Fragen fuer dich, und ich freue mich auf deine Antworten;

Erstens muss ich dich über meine Englisch warnen, es nicht so gut ist. (Ich habe eine Internet-Uebersetzer benutzt, und so ist es möglich, dass Worten und Sätze inkorrekt sind). Ich kann deine Komik lesen, weil deine Englisch leicht zu Verstehen ist - vielleicht ist es warum, du viele fremden Befürworter haben! (Wie mich!)

Jetzt, auf die Fragen;

1. Ich habe gelesen in deine letzte Postsack, dass du das Wort ,,Hakenkreuz" nicht sagen wird. Warum ist es? Bevor der Nazizeit war ein Hakenkreuz ein Symbol der Glück.

2. Was muss ich essen, um deine Körperbau zu haben? Jeden Tag, esse ich Bratwürst und vier gekochte Eier im Morgens, aber noch kann ich deine Figur nicht erhalten. Welchen Tipps kannst du mir geben? Je mehr Tipps, desto besser!

3. Ist es möglich, ein deutsches Sonichu-Charakter haben? Es kann Lederhosen tragen und Sauerkraut essen, aber nicht Bier trinken, weil es ist illegale in CWCville. (Ich habe eine Bild von ,,Jürgenchu" beigefügt - so kann man Eingebung über dieser Charakter haben).

-----

Auf Englisch;

Many Greetings from Germany! I am a big supporter of Sonichukomik. I have a couple questions for you, and I look forward to your answers;

First, I must warn you about my English, it is not so good. (I have used an internet translator, so it is possible that words and sentences are incorrect). I can read your comic, because your English is easy to understand - maybe it's why you have many foreign supporters! (Like me!)

Now to the questions;

1. I have read in your last mailbag that you will not say the word "swastika". Why is it? Before the Nazi era, a swastika was a symbol of good luck.

2. What should I eat to your body type to have? Every day, I eat sausages and four boiled eggs in the morning, but I still can not get your figure. What tips can you give me? The more tips the better!

3. Is it possible to have a German Sonichu character? It can wear lederhosen and eat sauerkraut, but do not drink beer because it is illegal in CWCville. (I have an image of, Jürgenchu attached "- that you can have inspiration about this character).

Tschüss!

Horst.}}
{{EmailReply|The english is good. To your first question, interesting, well leave to Hitler to turn the icon into an icon as terrible as when the homosexuals made the rainbow their icon, or even the word that Originally was defined as "Happy" but now is defined as "homo". My figure can be better; I highly recommend getting on a healthy diet and exercising. It is possible, and I will keep it in my head for consideration. Thank you for your submission. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Gin a body meet a body Comin thro' the rye===
[[Image:Jobbychu.jpg|thumb|Nice kilt.]]
{{Email|From: Richard Harrison <nothing_ever_works@hotmail.com>
Hello Christian.

Greetings from Scotland - I am a massive STRAIGHT, TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fan so I thought I would give you my idea for a new Sonichu.

His name is Jobbychu - named after the old scottish word for a lot of hard work, and he has a special skill called Baw-deep-in-yer-Ma! He likes to hack [[Jerkops]] up with his sharp Claymore and never misses a chance to swing his sporran.

It took me ages to do so I hope you like him. Keep up the good work on the comics!

Regards,

Rich}}
{{EmailReply|I have the image saved on my Meomry Stick Duo, so I will keep him in mind for something. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:14, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris fails at weights and measurements===
{{Email|From: ThunderBolt <gamerthunderbolt@gmail.com>
Hey Mr. Chandler! I've been a fan since the beginning of the subepisodes!

Anyways, I'm not that strong, but I noticed you've been working out. So I tried to follow your workout routine, to someday be almost as strong as you. I went to the grocery store looking for the lemonade boxes you used in your [[51 50|workout video]]. I asked one of the employees where the 12 packs of lemonade that weigh over 50 pounds, and they just laughed at me. I looked all over the store and couldn't find them, and now I'm feeling stressed. I saw plenty of 10 pound 12 packs, but I knew that wasn't it, because you're stronger than that. I need to be strong to get a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Where do you get your lemonade? What other things are really heavy I can lift with?

A "used to be" friend of mine (turned out to be a dirty filthy [[troll]]) said you had lifted a doghouse that was five to ten tons. Is this true? You are amazing! The African Savanna Elephant weighs around 8 tons, but if you want to get a girlfriend, you should carry your car to the mall. Most cars that size weigh 1 to 2 tons, and if you could carry a 5 or 10 ton doghouse, that should be a cake walk for you. There's no way a girl would say no to a guy throwing cars around. God you are awesomely strong Chris! How are you still single?

Stay straight!

Nick }}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, get a pair of dumbell weights up to 50 lbs in weight. I did lift and move a doghouse for my late Patti; I moved it a bit of ways from her dog pen to her burial site. A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS. Blame me being single on being shy. Thank you for your}}

===A-rabs===
{{Email|From: MM <magnusmaximus5@gmail.com>
بالإضافة إلى ذلك، شهدت شعبية طفرة في فترة السبعينات من القرن العشرين -
وغالبًا ما كان يتم تحويل قصص المانجا المصورة فيما بعد إلى رسوم متحركة
- ولا سيما الرسوم التي كانت من تصميم أو الذي كان يوصف "بالأسطورة"
"والأب الروحي لقصص المانجا المصورة فأعماله وأعمال غيره من الرواد في
هذا المجال كانت مصدر إلهام ساهم في ظهور العناصر الأساسية التي يعتمد
عليها الأنيمي في وقتنا الحاضر. فعلى سبيل المثال، تشكل أسلوب الروبوت
العملاق (المعروف باسم "الآليات" خارج اليابان) في ذهن تيزوكا وطوره جو
ناجاي وغيره فأصبح يطلق عليه اسم الروبوت الخارق. وفي نهاية العقد نفسه،
أحدث المبدع يوشي يوكي تومينو ثورة في عالم الروبوت بإنشائه للروبوت
الحقيقي. ولقد أصبح أنيمي الروبوت مثل سلسلة "" وسلسلة"" من الكلاسيكيات
في فترة الثمانينات من القرن العشرين. كما أن أنيمي "الروبوت" لا يزال
واحدًا من أكثر أنواع الأنيمي شيوعًا في اليابان وفي جميع أنحاء العالم
اليوم. وفي فترة الثمانينات

والناجحة من الأنيمي في الأسواق الخارجية في الفترة نفسها، لاقى الأنيمي
قبولاُ متزايدًا في هذه الأسواق في التسعينات من القرن نفسه، بل وزاد هذا
الاستحسان في .}}
{{EmailReply|Can we get a translator, please? I'm sorry, but these characters are illegible. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

''(Note: This is copied from the Arabic Wikipedia article for [http://ar.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D8%A3%D9%86%D9%85%D9%8A Anime].)''

===Chris the illest rapper===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Trent Reznor|Trent Reznor]] <trentreznr@rocketmail.com>
Dear, Mr. Chandler,

Hello, my name is Trent Reznor, and I would like you to know that I am a massive fan of your music. I am particularly fond of your rapping. Is there any chance that, in the future, you might release a hip hop album? Honestly, you're up there with some of the greats, The Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, and Nas. It would be a shame if the world never got to hear you to your fullest potential.

I would also like to, as a musician myself, ask you how you come up with your amazing lyrics? Lastely, is there a new Christian and the Hedgehog Boys in the works?

-Trent Reznor}}
{{EmailReply|The lyrics just come to me, as most musicians will tell you. Not at the moment. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris says something nice===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|Obviously this needs improvement.]]
{{Email|From: Barry Cartridge <barryacartridge@hotmail.com>
Dear Chris

A message from A TRUE AND HONEST fan. I think you are a genius of ages and love your comics.

My sister says you look like Edward Cullen From Twilight. I think you look more like Harrison Ford.

I drew this picture of [[Rosechu]] hoping you feature it in your mailbag. I know it's not as good as your art but please tell me how I could improve it.

Barry}}
{{EmailReply|Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it. I've already saw it in an e-mail too, thank you. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Iranian democracy===
[[File:Al-Qaeda.jpg|thumb|Another TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fan.]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]] <ajad368@yahoo.com>
Hello,

Greetings from the Islamic Republic of Iran! My name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and I must say that I am a huge fan of your Sonichu comics, as are a lot of other people in my country of Iran.

I'm looking for some tips, as I understand it you are the mayor of Cwcville, and I am somewhat of a politician myself.

1. My people have recently been very upset with elections in my country. Even though there are no elections in Cwcville, is there anything you suggest I do to keep my people quiet?

2. Would you consider including an Iranian character in a future Sonichu comic? It would be an interesting cultural exchange!

Thank you for your time,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad}}
{{EmailReply|I'd say let the people have their say and hold the elections; it will give you a chance to improve your self-image to the public; be kind and courteous. I will consider it. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the role model===
[[Image:NickDoleSonichu.jpg|thumb|An Animu Sonichu approaches!]]
{{Email|From: Nick Dole <ndolmalbx@hotmail.com>
Hello Chris!

I've been reading your comics and watching your videos for a while now. I look up to you as a role model, and you have helped me to stay STRAIGHT and OFF OF DRUGS. Keep up the good work!

I hope you enjoy the pic I drew!

-Nick Dole}}
{{EmailReply|That is good, and the drawing is good. Thank you. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 05:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chis is incapable of simply disagreeing===
{{Email|From: Joseph Barale <amenta101@yahoo.com>
Dear Chris,

I am a growing aspiring cartoonist and currently single male (and very much proud of it).

I have been aware of you and your Sonichu creation for a while now. I even read all your Sonichu comics from scratch. I am pleased to see that you have a mailblog for your Sonichu following and I applaud you to that and wish you the best. However, you should also be more aware of your actions, but also your facts.

You say that Autism in no way have any similarities to Aspergers where, in reality, they do share a lot of similarities with the symptoms. Saying that they do not share similarities without even achknowledging it is like stating that Pandorum is a real space hallucination disease (reference from the movie Pandorum).

Also, I am quite appaled by your views of homosexuality and Gay Rights. I am not a gay man myself, but I support homosexuality and Gay Rights as much as I support [[Women's Rights|Women Rights]]. It's not only a lifestyle, but a choice as well. Sometimes people like to follow or pursue on what feels right for them, even from childhood. That's how life works and that's the fun and beauty of it.

But other than that, I wish you the best of luck with Sonichu and creativity in the future and I hope you have a safe and pleasant day.

Peace.

Joseph Barale}}
{{EmailReply|Thank you for your support, but due to the content of the second two paragraphs, of which I feel uncomfortable of leaving in the main mailbag, I'm afraid this message, and this reply, will be put into the Reject Mailbag. I apologize, but thank you for sending me your thoughts. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:27, 5 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Chris's opinion is law, yours is just an opinion===
{{Email|From: aamoran@newyork.usa.com

Chris, enough is enough. You constantly say that you are [[autistic]]. But that is only YOUR opinion.

Stop trying to cite it as a fact. It's very annoying.

It's like if I were to say I think green is the best color ever, and get angry at anyone who don't think it's the best color. It's silly. How is what you're doing any different?

Look. I respect your opinion, and that in your mind you think you are autistic. That's fine. In my mind, I think I am superman. But that's only your opinion.

Why don't you just leave it at that instead of trying to get other people to believe the same thing as you?

Do not cite it as fact and then act surprised when people close their mind to such a suggestion that clearly is only your personal opinion and NOTHING else.

Sincerely,
Andrew Moran}}

{{Mailbag}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

Mailbag 8

2011-08-09T17:45:12Z

BubonicTheHedgehog: table of contents (removed NOTOC)

'''Mailbag 8''' was uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] in the early hours of 2 [[December 2008]], and was answered by [[Chris]] on the same day.

One of the smaller Mailbags, Mailbag 8 was only seven messages long, and Chris only answered five of them. This also was the mailbag that finally pushed Chris over the edge and caused him to create the [[Rejected Mailbag#Autism Mailbag|Autism Mailbag]], a place where he could ignore people trying to present him with facts about his disorder to his heart's content. This Mailbag also contained one particularly offensive piece of fanart that Chris didn't have to censor, as tinypic beat him to it.

==Answered==
[[Image:Gafpcaaca.jpg|thumb|Yet another sweet boyfriend-free <s>girl</s> [[BlueSpike|boy]].]]
===It's a trap===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia: Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]] <baileyj@gmail.com>
Hayyyy chris!

I've been reading [[Sonichu (comic)|sonichu]] for a while, and I'm soo glad you made your mailbag page so fans like me can get in touch with the [[true and honest]] brains behind [[cwcville]]!!

I really enjoyed the [[dating education]] episode... But I'm having some difficulties in finding an honest, caring boyfriend! Even though I'm following all your advice and I scored 100% on your test, nothing seems to work! Even when I think that I've met that "special someone" and we are hitting it off, they always eventually run away after a moment of being freaked out! It's sooooo frustrating!!!

What's a sweet, [[boyfriend-free girl]] like me to do??!

Xoxoxoxoxox

Bailey

Also, see the pic.. It's me ;)}}

{{EmailReply|Let me first say that you are Cute and Pretty. It may be a personal feature or a confided secret that for some reason offended those guys. Far be it from me to guess what it is, but don't fret; there is a man out there who will not leave you regardless of whatever it is that sets you apart. Do not worry; you are a very pretty woman, and there are a lot of free guys out there for you to choose from. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the editor===
{{Email|From: Jacob N <jacob_n333@yahoo.com>
Hello, Chris,

My name is Jacob and I've been following your work for a while now. It has not been far from my mind as I have been working on my first novel, the first draft of which was finished just today (the 27th). As it's my first, I've been quite exhilarated, and in the afterglow I suddenly remembered a couple of things I've been wanting to ask you.

First: if I may be so audacious, I'd like it if you could read the first draft of my novel and tell me what you think of it. When I get to writing the second draft in six weeks, I'd like as many perspectives on the novel as I can, so that I can write the best novel that I can before sending it to publishers to be evaluated. Might I send you a copy?

Second: as a fellow [[Cherokee]], I can't help but wonder why you drew your Cherokee [[ancestor]] as being pale-skinned, blue-eyed, and adorned with golden armor. Are the copper skin and leather of your ancestors not visually impressive enough for you? I also wonder why you used a pretend clan as a rival as opposed to one of our ancestral rivals, such as the [[Wikipedia:Mi-go|Mi-Go]] or the Yithans.

Ia! Ithaqua f'taghn!
With admiration,
Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky of the Cherokee nation.}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I would be glad to look over the sample of your novel, please send the document to my e-mail at ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. Secondly, I drew the ancestor that way and made up the [[Wasabi Clan|second clan]], because, I will admit, my knowledge of the Cherokees can be better. What I do know about them is their history with the pilgrims, the Trail of Tears and a few other bits of history. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)}}

''Note: "Ia! Ithaqua f'taghn!" is a reference to the [[Wikipedia:Lovecraft Mythos|Lovecraft Mythos]], not a phrase in [[Wikipedia:Cherokee language|Cherokee]].''

===Junkie man===
[[Image:Don't do the drugs there.jpg|thumb|Sadly, tinypic deleted this before Chris could see it.]]
{{Email|From: Jeremy Jeremy <jeremyjeremy@hotmail.co.uk>
My Dearest Christian,

In my careful consideration, there are no less than four aspects of the [[Sonichu]] which rear their heads at different moments throughout CWCiana. These are:

[[Sonichu]], the Man; Sonichu, the Hero; Sonichu, the Husband; Sonichu, the Beast.

It is the Beast-Sonichu upon which I have affixed [[The Creepy Stare|my gaze]] and of whom I wish to make a study; my firstmost thought of course is to the children, and thus I have rigged-up this simple Anti-Drugs poster featuring Sonichu in a pose which should scare any Mindless Junky off his dinner of Heroin and Raw Meat, Stolen from a Pakistani Shopkeep Down the Road (as it might be).
Note the detail; note the sorrow in Sonichu's eyes, the cold needle as it slides through skin, flesh and yellow fur; note too how he sags like a sack of fat in the corner of his sad room, and how his drug use is so extreme that milky butter seeps and slops from his withered intimate.

Eagerly Awaiting Your Kind Reply,
~ Your Friend Jeremy.}}
{{EmailReply|Not only does the description sound TERRIBLE AND GROTESQUE, but the image must have been WORSE, because it was removed from tinypic. NONE of my Electric-Hedgehogs are junkies and Neither am I, so get that through your head and Sober Up. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on grotesque violations of human rights===
{{Email|From: Rashid Ali Abdul <rashidaliabdul@gmail.com>
How can you misunderstand? I do not live in country with a democracy. I will be sentenced to death.

You tell me,
"Don't worry about your parents; they only care about your safety and well-being."

No, sir. You are misunderstand. The police have already been told about this. They wish to take me away, they say I commit a sin that cannot be forgiven.

They wish to put me to death. I will be beheaded.

There will be no trail. I will die soon. There is no forgiveness for a spreading a "false doctrine."

Please...

Is this the best advice you can offer me? Please, tell me what to do. I am not going to live. Please do not tell me that you honestly are oblivious to my situation.

You got me into this, tell me how to get out.

Sincerely,
Rashid}}
{{EmailReply|I am soo sorry about your situation. I do not know how to appropriately respond to that. The only thing I can say is promise that you will cease your actions and abide by their rules, and I will pray they will have a heart and let you go. (Damn, Such cruel people in this one world; it is just pitiful.) --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:38, 3 December 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
[[Image:Oh god help me.jpg|thumb|ZÀ̶L̡̕G̸Ò ͜͠WA̴̶I̡͜T̀̕͟S]]
===He who waits behind the wall===
{{Email|help me <aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@mail2Alcoholic.com>

oh god help me}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===Passive ignorance is no longer enough===
{{Email|From: Douglas Cramer <autisticspectrumwarrior@gmail.com>
Einstein was not autistic. He had [[Aspergers Syndrome]], which actually is similar to [[Autism]] except involves a very high IQ. In fact, people with Aspergers are higher functioning than even you or me.

Quoting Wikipedia:

"Ioan James, Michael Fitzgerald, and Simon Baron-Cohen believe that ''' Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton had personalities consistent with Asperger syndrome" '''

In fact, I find it upsetting how you openly mock Aspergers, despite not even knowing what it is.

Do you have any friends with Aspergers? You should meet one in person. They're hard to tell apart from normal people due to their level of functioning. In fact, aside from social skills, they can even make normal people look retarded in comparison.

"Aspergers is MORE classified to those who come down with it LATER in life during their ADULT years."

This is incorrect. You are thinking of Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a disorder that effects people when they become old, and ruins their memory.

Aspergers is the exact opposite. Aspergers happens at a very young age and causes people to have photographic memories. Their minds can memorize and learn things like a computer. One of my best friends has Aspergers (a math genius who works for NASA) and he is only 13!

According to [[Wikipedia]],
"Children with AS may have an unusually sophisticated vocabulary at a young age and have been colloquially called "little professors"

Little professors! I mean come on. That's far from the idea you have of them being slow or dim-witted.

I understand you get upset when people say that you have Aspergers. That's understandable. I too get upset when people think I have something other than autism. But going as far as telling a doctor to go shove it? Do you realize that's going a bit too far? Can't you just admit for once that you're wrong, and that you didn't know what Aspergers is?

Sincerely,
Douglas C|}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, I have read about aspergers, and I still do not care much about it at all anyway. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:20, 3 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Wikipedia===
{{Email|From: April Conway <april@scientist.com>
Hello, I am the one who originally wrote the Wikipedia article on Aspergers. It seems you misread our findings on this subject. Allow me to clarify.

In the article it says:

"It differs from other autism spectrum disorders by its relative preservation of linguistic and cognitive development."

Note that it says preservation. Meaning that they preserve the linguistic and cognitive skills that other Autism sufferers lose to due their condition.

According to research, Aspergers is a milder from of Autism. It's when people have partial Autism, but not the full blunt of it.

Though it's rare, it's still possible for them to have some of the clumsiness associated with Autism, though not from the onset. Though it's frequently reported, it's actually not very common. Which is what we meant by clumsiness not being required for a diagnosis.

Nowhere does it say that it's worse than Autism. I don't understand what made you come to that conclusion. That's not even possible due to it being a milder form of Autism.

While they may develop some autistic characteristics as they grow older, the effects aren't as severe as actual Autism. I think that's where you probably got confused.

This isn't an easy subject to understand but hopefully this clears up any misunderstanding. If you have any questions, be sure to let me know.

Sincerely,
April}}

{{Mailbag}}