CWCki - User contributions [en]

Spiritual Love Day, February 24

2026-03-02T22:37:29Z

Buick lesabre: /* Transcript */

{{Transcript}}
'''Spiritual Love Day, February 24''' is a video published to Chris's [[YouTube]] channel on 24 [[February 2026]], also [[Chris's birthday]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Spiritual Love Day, February 24
| video = {{#ev:youtube|IFfeOn_tix0}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2026]]
| subject = {{Other|Birthday}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{theclassic4.0|text}}
| previous = [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act 8]]
| next = [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Epilogue]]
}}
===Description===
{{quotebox|I tell all of you the meaning of Spiritual Love Day, February 24.}}
==Transcript==
Hey everybody, Jesus Christine Weston
Chandler Sonichu Prime here once again, and uh...
little something different, but goes in
line with the other events, but obviously
today when this video goes public, it
will be my birthday!
And once again, I am 24, and I'm staying
24 forever, no matter what, and just
nobody can tell me otherwise. Alright? I
remain physically as young, and everything...
as I was when I turned 24 on February,
24th, 2006. Okay. [clears throat]
That's essentially my mantra. All right,
so nobody tell me otherwise. And that's
not a challenge. Okay?
Anyway, so regardless of that, I wanted
to talk a bit about the meaning of
February 24th, as opposed to it being
also known as, well, Flag Day in Mexico?. I actually
do feel like that it is- actually, it is like a
good holiday to be had, like you know,
just 10 days after Valentine's Day. I
feel like it's a good time to go like
sure you can use Valentine's Valentine's
Day is where you celebrate just being in
love and the relationship you have with
your partner. I can even where in recent
dec recent years that you can celebrate
yourself but spiritual love day
I'll tell you more about more after I
read after I read what I had written
back on [[October|October 27th 2022]] about it
but I do believe it just means like you
know just more than just a appreciation
and love of oneself but it's the deeper
that which is soulful, spiritual,
everything, all your chakra points,
connections,
the [[Akashic Records]], the cosmos,
everything.
Even as far as the alpha point of all
sisters, which people rarely rarely
rarely can even get to that point beyond
going through the timeline, the core
matrix of this very timeline, beyond the
core matrix, this very universe. Anyway,
so spiritual love day is one where you
disre appreciate all things that are
good and spiritual and even baptisical
within yourself and even others. But
it's one where you should definitely
just take the time to just disconnect
and soul search for yourself. Okay?
Figure out who you are, know your
priorities, everything.
Okay?
and even find out just what you are
destined to be in your timeline in your
time life respectively.
So I'm going to read this right now. Ah,
February 24th, the day of the year that
brings awareness for that for
the day of the year that brings
awareness of one for that which is
within themselves and any living
individual and creature, their soul,
their personality, inner being, and even
past selves and even possibly future
selves and of course present selves. And
an opportunity for cleansing themselves
deeply as well.
All around the earth, regardless of the
day of the week, February 24th is on,
the churches, synagogues, temples,
shrines, and all other loces of
religion, worship, spirituality, z
meditations encourage all to enter and
meditate on their inner truths
respectively in better enlightenment,
insights, and developments.
So that is the meaning of spiritual love
day and I do not mean to take that at
any point at all be selfishly happy to
do with it being my birthday. Okay.
I meant more over for it to be the
deeper meanings as I had just talked
about. Okay. So with that being said I
pray you I pray that you all spread the
word spread this gospel. let me know for
everyone and even more affirmed within
yourselves and of course even with your
partners and your friends and your
family and so forth. Okay, so keep on
that which is light powered and good.
Take care, be safe and well. Happy
spiritual love day all of you.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2026]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

The Adventures of The American Rabbit

2026-02-23T04:33:33Z

Buick lesabre:

{{quote|Well, after seeing this all the way through I can certainly understand how [[Christian Weston Chandler|a kid who loved this film in the late 80's]] would grow up to make a [[Sonichu (comic)|webcomic]] featuring a [[Sonichu (character)|cross between pikachu and sonic]] that goes nowhere.|[[YouTube]] commenter satinsguard, upon watching this film.}}

[[File:Adventures of the american rabbit.jpg|thumb|250px|''Music, fun and excitement with the reluctant Super-Hero and his friends.'']]
[[Image:Amerrabb.jpg|thumb|The American Rabbit]]

'''''{{w|The Adventures of The American Rabbit}}''''' is an insipid [[1980s#1986|1986]] animated film directed by {{w|Fred Wolf (animator)|Fred Wolf}} about [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Robbie Sonee|Rabbit]], an anthropomorphic bunny who is transformed into a "Super-Hero" to defend his friends, family and land from pollution and the Mafia, all while cavorting around in probably the most [[Chris and fashion|laughable "costume"]] in superhero history; his regular self painted in the stars and stripes, and wearing roller skates despite the fact he can fly.

The American Rabbit originated as a poster character created by Stewart Moskowitz. Since some of Moskowitz's creations were used as mascots in Japan, [[Anime|anime]] [[Transformers|power]][[Dragon Ball Z|house]] {{w|Toei Animation|Toei}} [[Sailor Moon|Anim]][[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|ation]] co-produced the film with Wolf. ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' bombed at the box office (gaining a mere ''$291,126'' in its opening weekend) and quickly fell into obscurity. It was the last theatrical film made by Fred Wolf, so it was a miracle that the next year, {{w|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|two}} {{w|DuckTales|projects}} [http://animationguildblog.blogspot.com/2007/01/brief-history-of-disney-tva.html he helped produce] were major successes. Nonetheless, it set the standards for young [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]'s perception of many things, including himself, [[America]], [[Chris and writing|storytelling]], [[Chris and race|race]] (something that will become quickly apparent to any viewer of the film in question), honesty and respect for oneself and others (which, as in the movie, are given much talk for no reason whatsoever). His claims for being truthful, honest, and decent are almost certainly informed by the movie's shallow glossing over of the issues in an anvilicious fashion. Even the "famous" cover for [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] is [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarized]] partially, in an eerie subconscious fashion, from a scene early in the film where the titular rabbit goes out from his home village, encouraged by his father.

Robert Rabbit is, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], one of Chris's biggest role models in life. In Chris's [[Wikipedia]] entry, he stated "they REALLY SHOULD HAVE MADE A [[Chris and television|TV SERIES]] of him." Along with Filmation's ''[[Ghostbusters]]'', ''American Rabbit'' is another obscure cartoon likely culled from videotape bargain bins that had an inexplicably large impact on Chris's childhood. Why Chris latched onto a shitty cartoon movie from the 80s so hard is anybody's guess, though the [[Autism|colorful visuals]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|uncomplicated plot]], and anthropomorphic characters are probably a significant part of the reason. Despite the closeness of the movie to Chris, he also called it "cringe" in a 27 March 2025 Bluesky Post, but still believes that a TV series should be made of the character.<ref>[[March 2025 social media posts#What got Chris into Sonic?]]</ref>

==Influence==
''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' seems to have had a tremendous influence on Chris's narrative style; the film has numerous plot holes, a bland Aesop-style moral tacked onto it, moments that make you go "Wait, ''what''?" (e.g. when some jackals somehow take over the world by kidnapping a couple of moose who make chocolate for a living), and the use of anthropomorphic animals as heroes. In other words, key ingredients of a ''Sonichu'' comic.

What's truly startling, however, is how much of it seems to have influenced Chris ''outside'' the ''Sonichu'' comics.

A character in the movie has a speech at the rally against the evil gang in the movie that starts out verbatim the same way that [[CWC's Second Message]] does, with the Panda character leading off by saying that "[they] all should know [him] by now." Much like the protagonist of the movie (and a lot of bad children's media) Chris regards his own actions as morally good no matter whether they actually are or not, and inversely the actions of his antagonists as bad simply because they aggrieve him. This very simple mentality doesn't seem to be directly tied to this movie until you look closer at it: The Jackals can get away with tormenting and destroying as they see fit, just like [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|several]] [[CWCki|things]] [[Kiwi Farms|that]] [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] [[4chan|has]] [[Get-Tar Region|compared]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|the]] [[Mal-Wart|same]] [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|way]]. If you look closer, constant analogies between this horrible movie and Chris's almost-equally-horrible life become woefully apparent.

This includes Chris's [[Greene County Conspiracy|tendency to play into conspiracy theories]]. In ''American Rabbit'', all problems stem from the same small group of antagonists, in much the same way that Chris views all those who [[Kick the Autistic]] [[Chris and reality|as part of a conspiracy to ruin his life]]. In many ways, ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' thus provides one of the most compelling and disturbing looks into [[Chris and psychology|Chris's worldview]] outside his own body of work. Such was the import the young Chris assigned this testament to mediocrity that it became the centerpiece of not only how he [[Chris and writing|writes]] and even influenced how he [[Chris and English|talks]], but formed a big part of how Chris views the world itself.

==Possible influences on the ''Sonichu'' comic==
====Anchuent Powers/Legacy====
In the story, Rob Rabbit is visited at birth by a wizened old rabbit, who keeps tabs on him throughout his life until his latent powers are revealed when he saves his family. He then appears in a wizard's robe (for some reason; he isn't a wizard) and tells Robert that he has inherited the Legacy of the American Rabbit. This is very similar to Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy]], where Chris is given superpowers for no reason other than being the author's literal Mary Sue.

====Shallow love interests====
As soon as Rob meets the [[Rosechu|pink]] Bunny O'Hare, it becomes very obvious that the two are attracted to each other. Granted, unlike the ''Sonichu'' comic, ''American Rabbit'' actually remembers that it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|supposed to be for kids]] so there's never anything more than a peck on the cheek. Regardless, this could have easily set the standard for Chris's idea of love at first sight - Sonichu and Rosechu were in love less than five pages after they met. The movie only features ONE female character - the aforementioned - who does absolutely nothing whatsoever to help fight evil, helping to set the standard for [[Women's rights|Chris's views on women]].

====Worthless side characters that all look alike====
To be fair, he could have just as easily gotten this from ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' or other media, but it's certainly present in ''American Rabbit''. The band Rob travels with is called the White Brothers Band, a group composed of five white rabbits who look and sound exactly alike. Even the [[Chaotic Combo]] receive (marginally) more development than this.

====Worthless side characters in general====
Notionally, besides attempting to make money to rebuild a bar, the characters traveling with Rob believe that they have a "duty to fight against evil," but out of all of them (including Rob) only Ping Pong the gorilla actually does anything effective to thwart the antagonists. This is mirrored in ''Sonichu'', where often the entire cast will struggle to defeat an enemy (or in the case of the [[Women's rights|female characters]], stand around and watch) because Chris wants his [[Darkbind Sonichu|flavor]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|of]] [[Sailor Megtune|the]] [[Bionic the Hedgehog|month]] to be the focus of the action.

====Worthless [[Jerkop|law enforcement]]====
Rob's world has ''no meaningful law enforcement'' and the Jackals are free to terrorize, destroy, and threaten the global economy as they see fit (even though, as addressed, the means through which they do so make absolutely no sense). The Jackals' ability to get away with what they do in the cartoon indicates that, American Rabbit aside, there is no organized police or military force of ''any kind''. This is analogous to the dystopian [[CWCville]], where [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] are the only thing standing between the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens and the terrified citizenry of the ailing dictatorship, rather like things are for the bulk of ''Sonichu'' before [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|CWCVille was revealed to be under martial law]].

====All the protagonists are worthless====
With all his superpowers, Rob punches out all of two Jackals during the whole movie. Every other time he uses his powers is to save himself and his moron friends from another trap the Jackals have sprung on them. At one point, Rob is reduced to [[CWC is Sad|a blubbering mess]], and has to be given a pep talk by the same geriatric rabbit who was watching over him as a child (who is now a New York taxi driver for some fucking reason) before he can finally save the day once and for all. This worthlessness can be seen in both Sonichu AND Chris, particularly during the earlier comics where Chris was always getting saved by [[Sailor Megtune]].

====A villain in a staff====
Or at least, a villain ON a staff. The main antagonist of the movie, Vultor, is portrayed as a man entirely concealed in a gangster suit and hat, with a staff that doubles as a perch for his pet vulture. It's later revealed that the gangster suit and hat were filled with nothing but air, and that the vulture IS Vultor, and has somehow been controlling the suit in a way that is never addressed by the movie. While [[Count Graduon]] isn't directly controlling [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he certainly calls the shots, despite being less powerful and trapped in a fucking staff.

====Plot holes and loose ends====
As mentioned, a great many inconsistencies exist within the movie. The whole reason Rob and his band start to travel America is to raise money to rebuild a bar, but all the venues they plan to play at get destroyed, they lose their car, and even their instruments. At the very end of the movie they can't even afford to rent new ones, but this point is never addressed since the fact that Vultor has been defeated automatically means it's a happy ending. Not to mention the aforementioned "chocolate moose" plot. The only excuse that ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' has is that it is just a single hour and a half movie made for children (and even then, children deserve far better animated movies than ''this''), whereas Chris will either forget about plot points in ''Sonichu'' until he's reminded in the [[Mailbag]], or have the story in his head all along and expect everyone else to magically understand it, and get angry when they inevitably don't.

{{References}}

==See also==
*[[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Others|Bugs Bunny]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]], possibly named after the film's incompetent "hero".
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], Robbie's [[Tomgirl]] years.

==External links==
*{{w|The_Adventures_of_the_American_Rabbit|Wikipedia article}}
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166948/ IMDb page]
*[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfTheAmericanRabbit TV Tropes page of the movie.]

{{ChildhoodSaga}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of The American Rabbit}}

[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2026-01-06T21:55:07Z

Buick lesabre: it's been long enough that i felt it pertinent to add the inflation-adjusted amount of the prize money

{{quote|a very important moment|Chris, 25 years later.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts#Remembering The Sweepstakes]]</ref>}}

[[File:NoPhotoCop.jpg|thumb|Chris and Bob picking up the shopping spree award.]]

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' cartoon, the syndicated ''{{w|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog}}''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 (about $2,250 in 2025 dollars) {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}} shopping spree — was awarded to at least two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]; the other winner of the contest was a six-year-old girl from California, who decided to split her prize money with her classmates instead.

This seminal event marks both the early peak of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. His [[Borb|parents]] were hopeful that this win would surely set him up for future success, prompting them to contact the local [[Chris in the media|news media]]. The segment below was from the ''{{w|Dateline NBC|Dateline News}}'' program on [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiliate {{w|WVIR}}. It was Chris's ''first'' televised appearance, as well as his oldest known appearance on any kind of video, airing 11 years before [[YouTube]] was founded. It occurred shortly after the [[Christopher's name change|"GodBear" incident]] and Chris's move to the suburbs of [[Richmond]]. The segment on Chris's DVD is partially seen twice, as it was repeated and re-recorded on a later edition of the same newscast.

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's communication skills and fashion sense have not improved or changed much since he was twelve. In fact, the only things that have visibly changed are his physical age and his sense of entitlement – some argue that this competition is what stroked his enormous [[ego]]. Chris's [[autism]] is also very evident just from the segment, seeing as his eye contact is very inconsistent as he speaks. Interestingly, Chris is described as a resident of [[Charlottesville]], even though he was living in [[Richmond]] at the time. This suggests that Bob was still expecting to win his case against the Greene County school board, at which point the Chandlers would return to [[Ruckersville]] and Chris would be allowed to attend a mainstream school there. The case would be dropped later that year.

The anchors are visibly impressed by Chris supposedly mastering video games. This claim came from [[Bob]], who wouldn't have an inkling of what mastering a video game looks like.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, [[Chris and contests|Chris has entered several other contests]], expecting to win through the sheer power of his autism – to [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|varied results]].

Of the games Chris bought, only four are known:
*''Batman Returns'' ($49.99)
*''[[Sonic]] CD''
*''Sonic Spinball'' ($49.99)
*"Star Trek" (probably ''Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echoes from the Past'') ($12.99)

Chris is also seen pulling an original "[[Power Rangers]] Megazord" (est. $29.99) out of a bag at the end of the video.

As of [[June 2021]], the only item Chris still had from his shopping spree was ''Sonic CD''; everything else had been sold or [[2014 house fire|lost]].<ref>[[The Place chats (June 2021)#Warhol Book Stress and Hoarding]]</ref>

==Commercial==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes Commercial
| ytid = KMyI6ZnLj3o
| stardate = [[1990s#1993|1993]]
| maker = n/a
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| ytid = yGlFUf9ZEcM
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|[[Chris and contests|The Humble Genesis of a Lolcow Legend]]}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Anchorwoman:''' Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the high score and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running ''[[wild]]ly'' in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, of his own initiative, he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Cashier:''' [''quiet''] $980.8...

'''Chris:''' ...I had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writin' it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor:''' Unbelievable...

'''Anchorwoman:''' I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just...comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor:''' Good night.

'''Other Anchorman:''' Buh-bye.

[''An NBC Dateline News notice appears before the clip cuts out, making a weird "hweeur" noise, followed by a repeat of part of the report.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but he's entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Cashier:''' [''quiet''] $980.8...

'''Chris:''' ...I had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writin' it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==
* [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
* [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{References}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{BearsteinSaga}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:1990s]]
[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1994-02-26]]

Chris and work

2026-01-01T08:29:00Z

Buick lesabre: /* Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? */

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydreams|daydream]]ing over his [[Messiah complex#Jesus Reborn|fantasies]].]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Borb|elderly parents]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held [[Wendy's|one]] job – [[Cutco|two]] if pushing it – in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crippling [[debt]], Chris has vehemently refused to even attempt to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever, due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] – a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==

===External factors===

====Criminal record====
Chris, like many of us, has had at least one run-in with the [[jerkop|police]]. However, not only has Chris managed at least 6 [[Chris and the law|run-ins]] with law enforcement, but at least 2 wobbler felony charges (which got [[28 October 2011|downgraded to misdemeanor]] status or got dismissed due to [[Autism disorder deferred disposition|an alternative sentencing program]]), multiple misdemeanors, an EPO, and [[Jail Saga|a lengthy stay in jail]] for a charge of [[Affair with Mother|incest]].

====Parental influence====
Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that ultimately proved to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

Chris claimed that "taking care" of his parents is a full-time job in its own right<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job]]</ref>. Instead of getting a job to support his [[Barb|mother]], he slowly started to sell off toys he didn't play with anymore, or begged for donations online (often in the form of videos that Barb also appeared in). This was not a substantial income, and the money Chris did get was wasted in the blink of an eye. He claimed to need money for his mother's doctor's and dentist appointments, but he usually would post a few days later that he had gotten a new toy or a video game, implying that he either lied about how much the appointments cost, or that he used his mother's money just for his own selfish needs.

====Negative experiences with workers and [[Manajerks|managers]]====
While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some [[List of places that have banned Chris|bad experiences]] with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

When Chris had his only known job at Wendy's, he didn't get along with the restaurant's staff very well. He claimed his manager had a "spike on his shoulder" against him, and stated a female co-worker would repeatedly criticize and "insult" him, which in reality might have been her simply giving him constructive criticism. At one point, Chris decided to draw an unflattering picture of an older co-worker as a [[Pokémon]] on a napkin, which was allegedly the impetus behind his eventual firing from his job.

Chris also has had negative experiences with [[jerkops|mall security guards]]. [[Chris and the law|Chris's run-ins with the law]] have never been pleasant, and even though Chris does not exactly view workers and law enforcement in the same light, law enforcers are still technically employed by some organization. On various occasions, Chris has been shown to [[26 December 2014|bolt out of a GameStop in fear]] when security is called, suggesting a fear of security guards, likely stemming from [[Chris and the law#2011|previous]] [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris vs. Fashion Square|experiences]].

====Financial enablers====
{{Main|Enablers}}

In the wake of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him. Even after being arrested, fans continued to send him money through his inmate account, as well as donating money to his livestreams when he was released from jail. This first became an issue in early 2014, when their [[14 Branchland Court|house]] burned down and his family had to move into a [[Rental House|rental home]] temporarily while it was being renovated. In response to this, followers of Chris began to send him monetary donations as well as care packages. This quickly became something Chris depended on, and he regularly begged for donations for years to come, making this form of enabling commonplace. He would often beg for money to support his family, and then conveniently have new toys visible in his room. However, this stream of income never ceased.

===Internal factors===

====[[Ego|Egotism and delusions]]====
Chris, [[Messiah complex|believing he is an omnipotent and omniscient goddess]], doesn't have time for such frivolous things as working to make a living. In [[October 2017]], Chris claimed that he was too busy with [[CWCville]] and his [[imaginary friends]], in addition to helping Barb and the pets. In [[June 2019]], Chris claimed that he was already employed by God to oversee the Dimensional Merge. Additionally, ever since Chris's transition, he feels that finding a job runs the risk of being discriminated against for his [[Transgender|tomgirl gender]], despite the fact that discrimination on the basis of gender is illegal, especially as a result of a Supreme Court ruling on 15 June 2020.

In a moment of self-awareness, Chris fears being incompetent at work, and he claimed in [[May 2018]] that he feared that weens and A-logs will harass him at work, similar to how they harassed the management of The End Games and Anytime Fitness into banning him. However, even those [[Slow-in-the-minds|significantly more mentally ill or otherwise disabled]] can find work, meaning Chris can quickly find easy work if he really wanted to. This shows that Chris will pull any idea out of his ass to avoid having to get off of it and contribute to society.

====Lack of marketable skills====
As evidenced by his resume and lack of education, Chris lacks any marketable skills or qualifications to get anything beyond a minimum wage job in the retail or fast food industry. Given his aforementioned lofty goals for salary and demanding things like having an assistant, Chris grossly overestimates what kind of a job one can find with [[CADD|an outdated Associate's degree]] and a brief employment at Wendy's.

====General laziness====
Chris, being as lazy as he is, would find trouble keeping a job for long due to this laziness. This is evidenced by his brief stint as a Wendy's employee, in which he is quoted as taking "frequent breaks" and not taking care of his uniform.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 4]]</ref>

When creating [[Sonichu (comic)|his magnum opus]], Chris had no schedule set in stone, only taking time to write and draw pages when he had "inspiration". Arguably his most productive period was between [[Sonichu 7|2007]] and [[Sonichu 10|2010]] when he started to achieve online infamy and constantly fell for trolling schemes. Even then, these volumes took anywhere from several months to over a ''year'' before getting completed. Not to mention that Chris pretty much [[Chris and writing#Plot and Drama|wrote every ''Sonichu'' issue by the seat of his pants with minimal regard for consistency]] (and of course, writing is [[Chris and art#Visual style and most artistic fundamentals|not the only place where he fails at that]]), resulting in the self-insert fanfic clusterfuck we've known and loved since the late 2000s.

==Past stance on employment==
In the past, Chris showed some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>[[Chris's resume]]</ref> he also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in [[Cutco Cutlery]] at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]] from 2009. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the [[Card games|Pokémon Leagues]] at [[the GAMe PLACe]] counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite not doing this in a professional setting, and the product itself leaving a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that was full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a Gym Leader's Assistant or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 5 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 2 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

==List of jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with. Chris was later fired from the restaurant, giving vague and contradictory answers about his dismissal; the motive for his dismissal was either the aforementioned Pokémon caricature incident, or a time he allegedly frightened a kid to tears with his [[Donald Duck impression]].

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}

The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a multi-level marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious pyramid scheme and borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign]]s, and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other employers===
Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, probably due to him complaining about trolls on his resume and believing he had held positions he considered signified employment, but was actually community service at the very most.

==Current stance on employment==
{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris [[Chris and reality|claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension]]}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, [[Honest Content|Chris himself]] have completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.

===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210208080437/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

===Can Chris get a (real-life) job now?===
Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now,<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://archive.md/7GWGx Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> and this was long before his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] for engaging in [[Affair with Mother|incestuous acts with his mother]] permanently crippled his chances. In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of minimum-wage employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> a very brief {{w|multi-level marketing}} [[Cutco|stint]], and nigh on two decades worth of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory information]] about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://archive.md/VUWuy Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Chris has also not applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September 2009]], and his [[:File:Scan0001.jpg|Sonichu-laden]] resume is both long out-of-date and unimpressive even for the standards of when it was made.

While Chris's court case ultimately ended with the entire thing being [[Autism Deferral|dismissed]] — thus, letting him escape without a felony charge or being placed on the Sex Offender Registry — it's still likely this will be the final death blow to any sort of chance of him finding work in the future. Even if Chris ''does'' manage to miraculously turn his life around and get a legitimate job, there is a very, very significant chance that obsessive [[weening|weens]] and [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] will harass his employer(s) into terminating him as soon as they get wind of it; similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] Chris simply because he was there.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref>

In short, Chris's claims that he can never get a job may be valid, albeit for different reasons to what he has in mind. Nearly all employers are unwilling to tolerate any person with that kind of background, especially with what we know now.

==Online Activity==
{{quote|I have been drawing. I'm just waiting until it's complete before puting anything of it online.
|Chris on [[Bluesky]]}}

Several orbiters of Chris have commented on his inactivity as of late, especially when it came to producing artwork or his comics.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris, during his time on 14 Branchland Ct, was also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly got Chris to do things for her. This sometimes dragged him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blamed Barb for the Chandler household being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of the house was to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently left junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it. His room itself was extremely messy, with it being filled with thousands of [[Lego]]s and toys that he refused to throw out.

Chris's parents also made him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complained about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He put off paying them for as long as possible so he could use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

In 2020, Chris said that he and Barb both did equal amounts of chores, despite Barb being aged nearly 80.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

2021

2025-12-20T00:39:47Z

Buick lesabre:

[[File:PalindromeSonichuCross.png|thumb|left|Quite a year.]]
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's [[Jail Saga|mugshot]], 2021]]

'''2021: The year that shit finally hit the fan.'''

The thirteenth year since [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris']] discovery, 2021 opened with the world still deep in the throes of the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. It finally brought an end to Chris spending nearly an entire year of his life [[Spirit possession#Sonichu (15 April 2020 - 25 February 2021)|roleplaying as Sonichu]] in order to [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the cancellation of [[BABScon|BABScon 2020]]. The first half of 2021 was more or less business as usual for post-[[Idea Guys]] Chris.

The Christorian world entered a state of collective pandemonium, however, after the revelation that Chris [[Affair with Mother|had been having a sexual relationship with his own mother]]. From that moment on, nothing would be the same for Chris. This discovery very quickly destabilized every aspect of his life, separating him from [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] and mother, and condemning him to a [[Jail Saga|jail]] sentence that would ultimately last over a year, keeping him away from any and all exposure to the internet.

The year also marks the 30th anniversary of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' franchise. [[Barbara]] turned 80 years old on the 1st of October. 6 September also marked a decade since the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], and the same month also marked twenty years since Chris's firing from his [[Wendy's|last real job]].

==January==
{{main|January 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Chris stayed quiet during the first month of the year, with his activity largely limited to tweeting about the [[Dimensional Merge]]. During the middle of January, he was manipulated by a troll, [[Larry Vaughn]], into sending bizarre DMs to several Twitter users. [[Joe Biden]], the 46th President of the United States, took office on 20 January, succeeding [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].

==February==
[[File:CWCCoinPose.jpg|thumb|Chris in February 2021]]
{{main|February 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Early in the month, [[Watchmen]] leaks [[Taser Discussion|revealed that Chris had been planning to use a taser]] to stun his collection of [[magic stones|crystals and rocks]] in an attempt to activate the [[Merge]]. Among those involved with the situation were the aforementioned Watchmen and a [[Praetor]] member. Judging by [[Thinking with Portals|later conversations]] and the fact that no video has emerged of the act taking place, Chris was most likely talked out of the idea.

Halfway through the month, Chris discussed with the Watchmen his [[Lonely feelings|feelings of loneliness and desire for a relationship]].

Chris turned [[Chris's birthday|39 years old]] on 24 February, and a day later, finally ended his nearly-year-long act of [[Spirit possession|being "possessed" by]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] after [[KwaiiSandbag calls|being convinced to do so]] by enabler KwaiiSandbag, posing as a psychic.

==March==
{{main|March 2021}}

Chris announced that he had [[A Medium's Guidance|consulted a medium]] for spiritual advice. Chris would also continue talking with [[KwaiiSandbag]] this month, before cutting all contact with him after the latter admitted to not being a real psychic. Chris also accidentally damaged the [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|Dodge Caravan]] [[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender|after backing into a big rig trailer]].

==April==
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{{main|April 2021}}

In April, Chris started off the month by [[:File:ChrisGenoAprilFoolsReaction.jpeg|angrily messaging Geno Samuel]] for changing the thumbnails and titles of ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' to images of [[Donald Trump]] for an April Fools joke.

Later, he received his stimulus check from the government, [[Money|and immediately used it to buy a three-month subscription for]] [[magic stones]]. A few days later, both Chris and Barb received doses of the Pfizer [[COVID-19]] vaccination.

Aside from other [[April 2021 social media posts|occasional posts]], Chris remained mostly quiet this month.

==May==
[[File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris creepily ogling Barb in May 2021.]]
{{main|May 2021}}

Chris celebrated Mother's Day this month by releasing an odd (and, in hindsight, disturbing) photograph of himself and Barb together. Chris would record [[Twitter Voice Clip|an audio clip]] of himself vocalizing his voice on [[Twitter]], and would also record [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|a video]] of himself covering "{{w|I'll Be Your Mirror}}" by {{w|The Velvet Underground}} as an effort to promote [[Warhol / Chris Chan|a book about comparing Andy Warhol and Chris]].

==June==
[[File:ChrisJune2021.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris in June 2021]]
{{main|June 2021}}

Chris started off the month by starting the tradition of posting [[Tarot]] cards on [[Twitter]] every day, before uploading [[Birthday Greetings to Devin]], and [[Sylvia’s being comfy and a little bobble-headed|a video of him playing with his cat Sylvia]] later in the month. Chris also [[Chris and money|begged for money]] for a new [[Son-Chu|car]], and made a series of tweets claiming that the [[TooManyGames#Kicked out|TooManyGames 2018 convention incident]] was a supposed setup by the organizer of the event and the [[trolls]].

[[Null]] announced on [[Kiwi Farms]] that Chris would be attending [[Everfree Northwest]], a [[My Little Pony]] [[convention]] held in Seattle, Washington, in [[August 2021]].

However, this would never come to pass, as this was the month in which Chris began to engage in [[Chris and sex#Incest|Incest]] with [[Barb|his mother]] – news of which would not break for over a month. From then until Chris's [[Emergency Protective Order]] in late July, the two had sex every third night.<ref name="admission">[[Incest Call]]</ref>

==July==
[[File:ChrisJuly2021.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in July 2021]]
{{main|July 2021}}

The month began quite promisingly, with Chris actually fulfilling artwork commissions and video requests related to his trip to attend Everfree Northwest, though one of his pet dogs, [[Snoopy]], passed on the 15th. Meanwhile, Chris continued his protests over the impending release of the fifth generation of ''My Little Pony'', culminating in [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|a rage-filled video]] released on the 27th in which he demanded Hasbro change course and revealed he had seemingly punched holes in his walls out of [[rage]].

In the middle of this month, Chris would also meet his [[Fiona|first real lover]] via text, and would get involved in a series of video calls with her. Along with this, said lover planned with Chris to have sex with him at [[Everfree Northwest]]. For a period of time, Chris would try to keep the new lover anonymous around most people he had spoken to, but had otherwise felt very conflicted about his first real sweetheart, believing that their relationship would not last long, and that she would meet someone else when she started attending college.

However, on the 29th, the month and Christory as a whole would see an unexpected and disturbing turn of events, as [[Incest call|an audio clip of Chris admitting to having incestuous sexual intercourse with]] [[Barbara]] was leaked. After a [[welfare check]] was conducted on [[14 Branchland Court]], Chris was given an [[Emergency Protective Order]] on 30 July to leave the premises of the house immediately, while Barbara was taken to a hospital.<ref name=“removed”>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Summing Up Post-Incest Leak]]</ref> The following day on 31 July, Chris took $750 from Barbara's bank account; [[Null]], who found out by reading Chris's email and seeing an alert from his bank, asked Chris for more information and became offended at his misleading answers and cut all ties with him.<ref name>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Chris Stole $750 From Barbara]]</ref> Null, assuming it to be a case of theft, reported Chris to the police, but Chris was never charged for it.

Chris's attendance ticket to Everfree Northwest was also revoked by the convention,<ref>[[The Knights of CWC chats (July 2021)#Chris's Final Messages in the Knights Server]]</ref> and Null also began the process of refunding those who donated to the GoFundMe Fundraiser this month.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#GoFundMe Refund]]</ref>

==August==
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot 2.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in August 2021]]
{{main|August 2021}}

The month began with Chris getting arrested outside a hotel, with various weens and [[Ethan Ralph]] in attendance livestreaming. He was jailed without bond and charged with incest. While Chris was in jail, his license plates were soon stolen by a [[ween]].

In his second court appearance, represented by Charlottesville attorney David Heilberg, Chris interrupted the judge multiple times and demanded to be allowed to pick up his things from [[14 Branchland Court]]. He was denied bond, and his next court date was set for September 16th, 2021.

The case was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcT9cENf4kg|briefly featured on Fox News], exposing him to millions of boomers. A week later, Everfree Northwest, the My Little Pony convention Chris had planned on attending, [[Banned|took place without him]].

Activity regarding Chris became sparse after the arrest, but partly through the month, Chris's dormant YouTube account was broken into, with the [[Ween|hacker]] uploading an old shitpost of [[Anthony LoGatto]] yelling "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAY!]]". At the month's end, a user from the Kiwi Farms reported that Barbara had returned to [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Status of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> as Chris continued to await his hearing.

==September==
{{main|September 2021}}

With Chris remaining in jail, the ten-year anniversary of Bob's passing came and went. Later, [[Winfield Winfield|a ween filmed a video tour of the exterior of 14 Branchland Court,]] providing a picture of the state of Chris's house.

Chris's next court date was initially set for the 16th of this month, but it was given a continuance for November, due in part to the defense requiring time to do mental health examinations for Chris.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>https://twitter.com/terrybeigie/status/1438504504396161029 (archive: https://archive.ph/THcDL)</ref>

Later, reports that Barb had returned to 14BC were conclusively confirmed when a fan went to the house and unsuccessfully tried to pry more details from her.<ref name="WeenLeak">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref>

On the 24th of September, [[Chris's Letter to Null‎‎|Null announced]] that Chris had sent a letter from jail dated September 19th. It was addressed to an unknown person, with instructions to relay the contents to Null and forward the physical document to David Heilberg. The letter itself, while referring to the events of the past month in broad strokes, was strikingly evangelical in tone, steeped in abundant Christian imagery and language and Biblical references. Chris' statements within the letter were perceived by observers as confirmation of a sudden and explosive development of his [[messiah complex]], up to and including a belief that he is a reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth.

==October==
{{main|October 2021}}
Barbara turned 80 years old,<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref> and Chris sent [[Jail_letters#October_2021|five more letters]] with topics ranging from his godhood to the quality of the jail's food.

Chris spent the rest of the month in jail waiting for his next court appearance.<ref name="ContinuanceDate"/>

==November==
[[File:11.8.21MailDrawing.jpeg|thumb|250px|left|Drawing of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] from November 2021]]
{{main|November 2021}}

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of this month.<ref name="ContinuanceDate">[[:File:Court Record - Greene J&DR Court - Incest - (Chris, JA004949-02-00) - 26 January 2023.png]]</ref>. But it was again given a continuance, this time to [[February 2022|February 3rd, 2022]] for unknown reasons.<ref name="ContinuanceDate"></ref> Meanwhile, on 24 November, Barbara got involved in a serious automobile collision, suffering two broken ribs and a concussion as a result, but nevertheless still surviving the initial accident.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref><ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Confirming Car Crash]]</ref>

Chris also continued to interact with fans and weens this month through means of [[Jail letters#November|several letters]] and [[2021 Jail Call|a phone call]].

==December==
{{main|December 2021}}

Chris spends the [[C-Mas|Holidays]] behind bars. Meanwhile, the insurance claim for the car accident in November ruled in favor of the tractor-trailer driver involved, and Barb was fined $30, with an additional $76 in court costs on top of it.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

{{timeline}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

2021

2025-12-19T20:31:07Z

Buick lesabre:

[[File:PalindromeSonichuCross.png|thumb|left|Quite a year.]]
[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's [[Jail Saga|mugshot]], 2021]]

'''2021: The year that shit finally hit the fan.'''

The thirteenth year since [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris']] discovery, 2021 opened with the world still deep in the throes of the [[COVID-19]] pandemic. It finally brought an end to Chris spending nearly an entire year of his life [[Spirit possession#Sonichu (15 April 2020 - 25 February 2021)|roleplaying as Sonichu]] in order to [[Chris and coping|cope]] with the cancellation of [[BABScon|BABScon 2020]]. The first half of 2021 was more or less business as usual for post-[[Idea Guys]] Chris.

The Christorian world entered a state of collective pandemonium, however, after the discovery that Chris [[Affair with Mother|had been having a sexual relationship with his own mother]]. From that moment on, nothing would be the same for Chris. This revelation very quickly destabilized every aspect of his life, separating him from [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] and mother, and condemning him to a jail sentence that would ultimately last over a year, keeping him away from any and all exposure to the internet.

[[Cryzel Rosechu]] also turned 18 this year,<ref name=backstory>[[October 2018 social media posts#Cryzel's backstory]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Leak7.jpg]]</ref> meaning that Chris is no longer technically a [[pedofork]] for marrying her – although that was probably the least of Chris's worries, [[Jail Saga|given that he got arrested]].

The year also marks the 30th anniversary of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' franchise. [[Barbara]] turned 80 years old on the 1st of October. 6 September also marked a decade since the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], and the same month also marked twenty years since Chris's firing from his [[Wendy's|last real job]].

==January==
{{main|January 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Chris stayed quiet during the first month of the year, with his activity largely limited to tweeting about the [[Dimensional Merge]]. During the middle of January, he was manipulated by a troll, [[Larry Vaughn]], into sending bizarre DMs to several Twitter users. [[Joe Biden]], the 46th President of the United States, took office on 20 January, succeeding [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].

==February==
[[File:CWCCoinPose.jpg|thumb|Chris in February 2021]]
{{main|February 2021}}
{{SonichuPossession}}

Early in the month, [[Watchmen]] leaks [[Taser Discussion|revealed that Chris had been planning to use a taser]] to stun his collection of [[magic stones|crystals and rocks]] in an attempt to activate the [[Merge]]. Among those involved with the situation were the aforementioned Watchmen and a [[Praetor]] member. Judging by [[Thinking with Portals|later conversations]] and the fact that no video has emerged of the act taking place, Chris was most likely talked out of the idea.

Halfway through the month, Chris discussed with the Watchmen his [[Lonely feelings|feelings of loneliness and desire for a relationship]].

Chris turned [[Chris's birthday|39 years old]] on 24 February, and a day later, finally ended his nearly-year-long act of [[Spirit possession|being "possessed" by]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] after [[KwaiiSandbag calls|being convinced to do so]] by enabler KwaiiSandbag, posing as a psychic.

==March==
{{main|March 2021}}

Chris announced that he had [[A Medium's Guidance|consulted a medium]] for spiritual advice. Chris would also continue talking with [[KwaiiSandbag]] this month, before cutting all contact with him after the latter admitted to not being a real psychic. Chris also accidentally damaged the [[Son-Chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|Dodge Caravan]] [[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender|after backing into a big rig trailer]].

==April==
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{{main|April 2021}}

In April, Chris started off the month by [[:File:ChrisGenoAprilFoolsReaction.jpeg|angrily messaging Geno Samuel]] for changing the thumbnails and titles of ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'' to images of [[Donald Trump]] for an April Fools joke.

Later, he received his stimulus check from the government, [[Money|and immediately used it to buy a three-month subscription for]] [[magic stones]]. A few days later, both Chris and Barb received doses of the Pfizer [[COVID-19]] vaccination.

Aside from other [[April 2021 social media posts|occasional posts]], Chris remained mostly quiet this month.

==May==
[[File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris creepily ogling Barb in May 2021.]]
{{main|May 2021}}

Chris celebrated Mother's Day this month by releasing an odd (and, in hindsight, disturbing) photograph of himself and Barb together. Chris would record [[Twitter Voice Clip|an audio clip]] of himself vocalizing his voice on [[Twitter]], and would also record [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|a video]] of himself covering "{{w|I'll Be Your Mirror}}" by {{w|The Velvet Underground}} as an effort to promote [[Warhol / Chris Chan|a book about comparing Andy Warhol and Chris]].

==June==
[[File:ChrisJune2021.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris in June 2021]]
{{main|June 2021}}

Chris started off the month by starting the tradition of posting [[Tarot]] cards on [[Twitter]] every day, before uploading [[Birthday Greetings to Devin]], and [[Sylvia’s being comfy and a little bobble-headed|a video of him playing with his cat Sylvia]] later in the month. Chris also [[Chris and money|begged for money]] for a new [[Son-Chu|car]], and made a series of tweets claiming that the [[TooManyGames#Kicked out|TooManyGames 2018 convention incident]] was a supposed setup by the organizer of the event and the [[trolls]].

[[Null]] announced on [[Kiwi Farms]] that Chris would be attending [[Everfree Northwest]], a [[My Little Pony]] [[convention]] held in Seattle, Washington, in [[August 2021]].

However, this would never come to pass, as this was the month in which Chris began to engage in [[Chris and sex#Incest|Incest]] with [[Barb|his mother]] – news of which would not break for over a month. From then until Chris's [[Emergency Protective Order]] in late July, the two had sex every third night.<ref name="admission">[[Incest Call]]</ref>

==July==
[[File:ChrisJuly2021.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris in July 2021]]
{{main|July 2021}}

The month began quite promisingly, with Chris actually fulfilling artwork commissions and video requests related to his trip to attend Everfree Northwest, though one of his pet dogs, [[Snoopy]], passed on the 15th. Meanwhile, Chris continued his protests over the impending release of the fifth generation of ''My Little Pony'', culminating in [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|a rage-filled video]] released on the 27th in which he demanded Hasbro change course and revealed he had seemingly punched holes in his walls out of [[rage]].

In the middle of this month, Chris would also meet his [[Fiona|first real lover]] via text, and would get involved in a series of video calls with her. Along with this, said lover planned with Chris to have sex with him at [[Everfree Northwest]]. For a period of time, Chris would try to keep the new lover anonymous around most people he had spoken to, but had otherwise felt very conflicted about his first real sweetheart, believing that their relationship would not last long, and that she would meet someone else when she started attending college.

However, on the 29th, the month and Christory as a whole would see an unexpected and disturbing turn of events, as [[Incest call|an audio clip of Chris admitting to having incestuous sexual intercourse with]] [[Barbara]] was leaked. After a [[welfare check]] was conducted on [[14 Branchland Court]], Chris was given an [[Emergency Protective Order]] on 30 July to leave the premises of the house immediately, while Barbara was taken to a hospital.<ref name=“removed”>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Summing Up Post-Incest Leak]]</ref> The following day on 31 July, Chris took $750 from Barbara's bank account; [[Null]], who found out by reading Chris's email and seeing an alert from his bank, asked Chris for more information and became offended at his misleading answers and cut all ties with him.<ref name>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Chris Stole $750 From Barbara]]</ref> Null, assuming it to be a case of theft, reported Chris to the police, but Chris was never charged for it.

Chris's attendance ticket to Everfree Northwest was also revoked by the convention,<ref>[[The Knights of CWC chats (July 2021)#Chris's Final Messages in the Knights Server]]</ref> and Null also began the process of refunding those who donated to the GoFundMe Fundraiser this month.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#GoFundMe Refund]]</ref>

==August==
[[File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot 2.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in August 2021]]
{{main|August 2021}}

The month began with Chris getting arrested outside a hotel, with various weens and [[Ethan Ralph]] in attendance livestreaming. He was jailed without bond and charged with incest. While Chris was in jail, his license plates were soon stolen by a [[ween]].

In his second court appearance, represented by Charlottesville attorney David Heilberg, Chris interrupted the judge multiple times and demanded to be allowed to pick up his things from [[14 Branchland Court]]. He was denied bond, and his next court date was set for September 16th, 2021.

The case was [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcT9cENf4kg|briefly featured on Fox News], exposing him to millions of boomers. A week later, Everfree Northwest, the My Little Pony convention Chris had planned on attending, [[Banned|took place without him]].

Activity regarding Chris became sparse after the arrest, but partly through the month, Chris's dormant YouTube account was broken into, with the [[Ween|hacker]] uploading an old shitpost of [[Anthony LoGatto]] yelling "[[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAAAAY!]]". At the month's end, a user from the Kiwi Farms reported that Barbara had returned to [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Status of 14 Branchland Court]]</ref> as Chris continued to await his hearing.

==September==
{{main|September 2021}}

With Chris remaining in jail, the ten-year anniversary of Bob's passing came and went. Later, [[Winfield Winfield|a ween filmed a video tour of the exterior of 14 Branchland Court,]] providing a picture of the state of Chris's house.

Chris's next court date was initially set for the 16th of this month, but it was given a continuance for November, due in part to the defense requiring time to do mental health examinations for Chris.<ref name=ContinuanceReason>https://twitter.com/terrybeigie/status/1438504504396161029 (archive: https://archive.ph/THcDL)</ref>

Later, reports that Barb had returned to 14BC were conclusively confirmed when a fan went to the house and unsuccessfully tried to pry more details from her.<ref name="WeenLeak">[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref>

On the 24th of September, [[Chris's Letter to Null‎‎|Null announced]] that Chris had sent a letter from jail dated September 19th. It was addressed to an unknown person, with instructions to relay the contents to Null and forward the physical document to David Heilberg. The letter itself, while referring to the events of the past month in broad strokes, was strikingly evangelical in tone, steeped in abundant Christian imagery and language and Biblical references. Chris' statements within the letter were perceived by observers as confirmation of a sudden and explosive development of his [[messiah complex]], up to and including a belief that he is a reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth.

==October==
{{main|October 2021}}
Barbara turned 80 years old,<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref> and Chris sent [[Jail_letters#October_2021|five more letters]] with topics ranging from his godhood to the quality of the jail's food.

Chris spent the rest of the month in jail waiting for his next court appearance.<ref name="ContinuanceDate"/>

==November==
[[File:11.8.21MailDrawing.jpeg|thumb|250px|left|Drawing of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] from November 2021]]
{{main|November 2021}}

Chris's second court appearance was scheduled for the 18th of this month.<ref name="ContinuanceDate">[[:File:Court Record - Greene J&DR Court - Incest - (Chris, JA004949-02-00) - 26 January 2023.png]]</ref>. But it was again given a continuance, this time to [[February 2022|February 3rd, 2022]] for unknown reasons.<ref name="ContinuanceDate"></ref> Meanwhile, on 24 November, Barbara got involved in a serious automobile collision, suffering two broken ribs and a concussion as a result, but nevertheless still surviving the initial accident.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref><ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Confirming Car Crash]]</ref>

Chris also continued to interact with fans and weens this month through means of [[Jail letters#November|several letters]] and [[2021 Jail Call|a phone call]].

==December==
{{main|December 2021}}

Chris spends the [[C-Mas|Holidays]] behind bars. Meanwhile, the insurance claim for the car accident in November ruled in favor of the tractor-trailer driver involved, and Barb was fined $30, with an additional $76 in court costs on top of it.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

{{timeline}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]

Flutter

2025-12-19T19:25:05Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Unreliable|type=misinfo|status=fixed}}
{{Imposter}}
{{ongoing}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400002.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid Little My
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by sightings of Chris and Flutter in [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. She appears to have gone to great lengths to maintain her anonymity, and Chris has been [[Honest Content|uncharacteristically]] steadfast in refusing to discuss the matter. The lack of any solid information regarding Flutter has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors. Theories ranged from things such as Flutter being underage due to her youthful and diminutive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]] meant to keep Chris in check, being an obscure Finnish lolcow unknown to Chris's primarily North American follower base, to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris.<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Pregnancy rumor confirmed false]]</ref> Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings (2023)|Sightings (2024)|Sightings (2025)}}
Flutter is best known for having been spotted together with Chris in public many times following his release from jail, first in the United States and then (beginning in April 2024) in Finland as well. This is particularly notable given Chris's substantially decreased online prescence.

===2023===
*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

===2024===
*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 30 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were unwittingly recorded in the background of a YouTube video, holding hands while walking together at {{w|Linnanmäki|Linnanmäki}} in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

===2025===
*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

*On 17 [[April 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted eating at Arnold's in Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Arnold's,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 23 [[July 2025]], Chris and Flutter were seen shopping at Rauma International Market in {{w|Rauma}}, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Rauma_International_Market,_Rauma,_Finland]]</ref> This is their first sighting in Finland outside of Helsinki—more than 250 km (155 mi.) away, in fact, leading some to hypothesize that Flutter lives in the area or has family there.

*On 13 [[August 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted shopping at a Walmart in Lynchburg. This sighting provided the highest-quality image of Flutter's face thus far.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Walmart_(August)]]</ref>

*On 31 [[August 2025]], Chris and presumably Flutter are spotted eating at the Red Lobster in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Red_Lobster]]</ref>

*On 7 [[September 2025]], Chris and Flutter are spotted at a Barnes and Noble in Roanoke, VA.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Valley_View_Mall]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Chris's Silence==
{{quote|That remains absolutely with no comment!|Chris, after being asked about Flutter and his Finland visits<ref>[[Waltah White Calls#Walt's call with cwc! 5/17/25]]</ref>}}

When he first spoke about her [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|shortly after returning to the Internet]], Chris only shared her nickname and the fact that she had reached out to him while he was [[Jail Saga|incarcerated]], and that they had met up in [[Lynchburg]] following his release.

In a [[May 2025]] [[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25|call with a ween]], Chris was asked directly about Flutter and proceeded to [[List of Chris's lies|lie]] about everything possibly related to her, including denying that he ever went to [[Finland]] with her or was learning Finnish on [[Duolingo]]. Instead he claimed Flutter lives in Philadelphia and is going to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] there, but was both unwilling and unable to provide any details when pressed further. He refused to give up her real name or even the first letter, even after being offered bribes of $50, $150 and purchases from his [[OfficialCWCmart|Etsy store]], stating simply, "Her name shall not be revealed."<ref>[[Walt's call with cwc! 2/17/25#Transcript]]</ref>

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris and Flutter at Linnanmäki 30 April 2024 (cropped screencap).jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#Linnanmäki, Helsinki, Finland|At Linnanmäki in Helsinki, Finland]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
File:Chris flutter rauma 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2025)#Rauma International Market, Rauma, Finland|Wearing matching outfits with Chris in Rauma, Finland]].
File:CWC Flutter Sighting by BlockedByDaylight 1.mp400001.png|Walmart, [[August 2025]]<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Walmart Sighting, August 2025]]</ref>
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wallflower]] - A prior gal-pal that Chris attempted to keep under wraps.

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2025-05-27T18:22:00Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Unreliable|type=misinfo|status=fixed}}
{{Imposter}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = Flutter.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by [[2024]] sightings of Chris and Flutter in Helsinki, [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. With both Chris and Flutter herself seemingly unwilling to divulge any information about her, as well as a lack of any known social media presence, most discussion regarding her has been purely speculative. This has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors, some more plausible than others. Theories ranged from things such as Flutter being underage due to her youthful and diminutive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]] meant to keep Chris in check, being an obscure Finnish lolcow mostly unknown to Chris's primarily North American follower base, to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris. Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings (2023)|Sightings (2024)|Sightings (2025)}}
Flutter is most well-known for appearing many times with Chris following his release from jail, which is particularly notable due to his substantially decreased online prescence.

*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the {{w|Mall of Tripla|Mall of Tripla}} in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2025-05-27T17:29:20Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Unreliable|type=misinfo|status=fixed}}
{{Imposter}}
{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part]] [[Watchmen|of Christory]], [[DoopieDoOver|there is]] [[Fiona Cooper|no escaping]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|from it]].}}
{{Misinfo|It has not been confirmed that Flutter is dating Chris, or if she has a romantic relationship with him.|includegossip = yes}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = Flutter.png
| aliases = Flutter Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid
| knownfor = {{•}} Appearing side-by-side with Chris in numerous post-jail sightings.
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris has referred to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by [[2024]] sightings of Chris and Flutter in Helsinki, [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. With both Chris and Flutter herself seemingly unwilling to divulge any information about her, as well as a lack of any known social media presence, most discussion regarding her has been purely speculative. This has allowed for the proliferation of numerous theories and rumors, some more plausible than others. Theories ranged from things like her being a child due to her youthful and diminuitive appearance, being a recruit from [[Praetor]], to even the possibility of being impregnated by Chris. Time will tell as to whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for now, Chris seems content maintaining his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
{{Main|Sightings (2023)|Sightings (2024)|Sightings (2025)}}
Flutter is most well-known for appearing many times with Chris following his release from jail, which is particularly notable due to his substantially decreased online prescence.

*On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

*On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

*On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

*On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

*On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

:{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
:{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
:{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
:{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was :between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
:{{quotebox|She paid.}}

:These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

*On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

*On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet [[Sightings (2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse|until another photoshoot on Valentine's Day of 2025]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

*On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

*On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

*On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

*On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

*On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

:Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

*On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

*On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

*On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

*On 22 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Goodwill in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Goodwill]]</ref>

*On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the {{w|Mall of Tripla|Mall of Tripla}} in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

*On 17 [[December 2024]], Chris and Flutter were seen at Redi in Kalasatama, Helsinki, Finland.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#Redi,_Kalasatama,_Helsinki,_Finland]]</ref>

*On 14 [[February 2025]], Chris and Flutter were spotted browsing in a pet store.<ref>[[Sightings_(2025)#Pet & Aquatic Warehouse]]</ref>

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. This has also led to speculation that she was trying to stay out of the spotlight of said weens to avoid harassment, especially when observers noted her self-awareness at some events that she went to with Chris.

The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Gallery==
===Sightings===
Below is a gallery of select photoshoots of Flutter with Chris.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:22 August 2024 Chris and Flutter at Goodwill2.png|At Goodwill.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
File:14 February 2025 Chris and Flutter in pet store1.jpg|At Pet & Aquatic Warehouse.
</gallery>
</center>

===Other===
<center>
<gallery>
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
</gallery>
</center>

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{Love Quest}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2025-01-20T05:50:22Z

Buick lesabre:

{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part of Christory]], [[Fiona|there is no]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|escaping from it]].}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = Flutter.png
| aliases = Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris refers to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy. Her identity and motives are shrouded in mystery.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. This ultimately led Christorians to begin theorizing about her, with some thinking she was a child due to her appearance, others thinking she was a social worker or possibly someone with a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental handicap]] similar to Chris's own, or even a recruit by [[Praetor]]. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by [[2024]] sightings of Chris and Flutter in Helsinki, [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity and motives remain one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. With both Chris and Flutter herself seemingly unwilling to divulge any information about her, as well as a lack of any known social media presence, most discussion regarding her has been purely speculative. Time will tell whether or not any of these questions end up being answered, but for once, Chris seems content to maintain his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS; her body language does not indicate reciprocity, however.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
{{quotebox|She paid.}}

These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the {{w|Mall of Tripla|Mall of Tripla}} in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
</gallery>
</center>

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Flutter

2025-01-20T04:05:42Z

Buick lesabre:

{{protip|Should you encounter Flutter in public (with or without Chris) do NOT harass her. Getting a discreet picture is fine if you're able to, but don't directly interact with her or Chris. [[Michael Hirtes|Once you]] [[Jacob Sockness|make yourself]] [[Idea Guys|a part of Christory]], [[Fiona|there is no]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|escaping from it]].}}

{{quote|She's a friend of mine, and I refer to her only as Flutter, because she likes [[Fluttershy]], okay? I met her in [[Lynchburg, VA|Lynchburg]], she got in touch with me while I was in jail, and we managed to meet, we managed to bond and connect with each other as friends. And she is literally thirty years old, despite the way - despite her physicality.|Chris's description of Flutter<ref name=setting>[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Flutter
| name = Unknown
| image = Flutter.png
| aliases = Egg Meryl Food Lion Lady Cabbage Patch Kid
| saga = {{saga|jail|cn}}, '''[[Template:ThirdExile|Third Exile]]''', '''[[Template:RevelationsSaga|Revelations]]'''
}}

'''Flutter''' (born 1992 or 1993) is the nickname [[Chris]] gave to a [[gal-pal|female friend]] of his. Flutter reached out to Chris at some point during his time in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Sometime after Chris was released in [[March 2023]], he met up with her in the city of {{w|Lynchburg, Virginia}}, and they began hanging out together.<ref name=setting></ref> Chris refers to her simply as a friend, suggesting that their relationship is not romantic, although he does not explicitly deny having romantic feelings for her either. Chris also claims that she is thirty years old (as of 17 [[October 2023]]), despite her [[Pedofork|childlike appearance]]. The nickname "Flutter" comes from her fondness for the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' character Fluttershy. Her identity and motives are shrouded in mystery.

After Chris's release from jail, he was frequently [[Post-jail sightings|photographed]] by people who managed to spot him in public. In [[September 2023]], he was spotted with Flutter for the first time. This ultimately led Christorians to begin theorizing about her, with some thinking she was a child due to her appearance, others thinking she was a social worker or possibly someone with a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental handicap]] similar to Chris's own, or even a recruit by [[Praetor]]. On the 17th, she was spotted allegedly [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS|making out with Chris at a CVS]], causing many people to believe she was his girlfriend. [[Otaku King]] also claimed that the two of them were a couple. In [[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021]], however, Chris simply refers to her as a friend. Some observers have speculated that Flutter may be Finnish or of Finnish descent, noting that Chris began studying Finnish intensively on [[Duolingo]] since [[October 2023]] for no apparent reason.<ref>[[:File:Duolingo stats 23Nov2023 2.png]]</ref> This theory was bolstered by [[2024]] sightings of Chris and Flutter in Helsinki, [[Finland]]. A Reddit user who saw Flutter claims that she did not have an accent.<ref name=isabellas>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant]]</ref> Another Redditor claims that she spoke in a fake anime girl voice.<ref name=animegirl>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart Part II (July)]]</ref>

Flutter's identity remains one of the more mysterious aspects of modern Christory. With both Chris and Flutter herself seemingly unwilling to divulge any information about her, as well as a lack of any known social media presence, most discussion regarding her has been purely speculative. Time will tell whether or not any of these questions will be answered, but for once, Chris seems content to maintain his silence on the matter.

==Sightings==
On 4 [[September 2023]], Chris was spotted talking with Flutter at a Coinstar machine at a Food Lion supermarket. This was the first time she was sighted, and earned her the nickname "Food Lion Lady."<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Food_Lion]]</ref>

On 9 September 2023, a [[ween]] stalked Chris in his car. Reportedly, Flutter was in the car with Chris, and the ween remarked that she looked like a child.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz/On_the_road_Part_II]]</ref>

On 16 September 2023, she was spotted with Chris at [[Walmart]]. This was the first clear view of her face.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Walmart_(September)]]</ref>

On 17 September 2023, Chris was allegedly sighted hugging, touching, and ''kissing'' Flutter at a CVS; her body language does not indicate reciprocity, however.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#CVS]]</ref>

On the 20th, the sighter posted two ''incredibly'' blurry pictures of Chris hugging and kissing her. While Chris is easy to see, Flutter is incredibly hard to see. The sighter also made multiple comments about her.

{{quotebox|[Chris] was all over that woman. Just kept touching her and had her hand on the back almost the whole time. She doesn’t look young.}}
{{quotebox|She 100 percent looked uncomfortable.}}
{{quotebox|She seemed uncomfortable and kept her head down mostly. I can’t say whether she was just uncomfortable or if she was low functioning.}}
{{quotebox|Seemed like he was kind of leading the shopping trip. He also was very close to her at all times. Co-Worker asked if they needed help Chris made sure to step so that he was between my Co-Worker and the girl.}}
{{quotebox|She paid.}}

These comments have yet to be confirmed as fact.

On 19 September 2023, Chris supposedly walked into a game store with her.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Undisclosed_parking_lot]]</ref>

On 1 [[October 2023]], Chris was spotted showing something on his device to her at {{w|River Ridge Mall}}. This was the clearest view of her face yet.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#River_Ridge_Mall]]</ref>

On 3 October 2023, Flutter was seen waiting in a car while Chris was shopping at Game Junkies.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Game_Junkies]]</ref>

On 20 [[December 2023]], around 7:30 PM, a video of her was taken at the Richmond International Airport. Her origin flight was from the Charlotte Douglas International Airport, but the starting destination is unknown.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond_International_Airport]]</ref> Later that day, she was also spotted at a Sheetz in Henrico, VA, and afterwards driven away by Chris.<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Sheetz_(December)]]</ref>

On 21 December 2023, Flutter and Chris were spotted at [[Bella|Isabella]]'s Italian Trattoria Restaurant in Lynchburg. Reddit user JacksonStarship speculated that Flutter paid for the meal, also noting that Chris "ate [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]] like a toddler." The user also reported that Chris hand-fed dessert to Flutter. JacksonStarship stated that Flutter did not appear mentally handicapped, nor did she appear an exceptionally young age. On several occasions she would keep Chris in check, stopping him from escalating situations. They were last seen walking away together in the parking lot.<ref name=isabellas></ref>

On 4 [[January 2024]], Chris and Flutter were photographed at Ultimate Comics in Cary, North Carolina while picking up tickets for the [[Animate! Raleigh]] convention.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Cary, North Carolina]]</ref> They were seen in attendance together on 5 January 2024, with Flutter wearing a face mask. On 6 January 2024, Chris and Flutter were seen outside of the Animate! convention, reportedly having been kicked out.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Raleigh Convention Center]]</ref>

On 23 [[March 2024]], Chris was spotted with Flutter at TJ Maxx in Lynchburg, VA, disproving rumors about her staying away from him due to the aftermath of Animate! Raleigh.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx]]</ref>

Chris also had plans to go to [[BABSCon]] 2024 with her, but his two tickets were refunded due to the event staff being aware of his status on the internet. This is hinted at in his reply to BABSCon's email:<ref>[[BABSCon E-mails]]</ref>
{{quotebox|I was looking for an enjoyable, peaceful weekend with my friend that would have been more than very good and beneficial. But no, you dare deny us this simple pleasure as Pegasisters of the Brony Community.}}

On 4 [[April 2024]], Chris and Flutter were both spotted at the Arabia Shopping Centre in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Arabia Shopping Centre, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref>

On 29 [[June 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall, where they ate at Chick-fil-A and went to see a movie.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)]]</ref> A few days later, on 5 [[July 2024|July]], they were seen together at a Walmart in Lynchburg.<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Walmart (July)]]</ref> A week later, they were again seen shopping in Walmart, and the Reddit user watching them claimed that Flutter was speaking in a fake anime girl voice and that Chris was telling her how to bag food properly.<ref name=animegirl></ref> A few days later on July 16, they were spotted on the road driving towards Charlottesville, with Flutter sitting in the backseat.<ref>[[Sightings_(2024)#On_the_road]]</ref>

On 13 [[August 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted at River Ridge Mall and about a week later, they were spotted again, this time in Roanoke at {{w|Valley View Mall (Virginia)|Valley View Mall}}. The observers photographed them several times and even secretly recorded a video of them approaching and talking to Chris, with Flutter being behind Chris being silent and leaves without her face being shown on the video. However, two days later, one of the observers posted another photo of them from the same sighting, which marked the first time Flutter's face had been photographed since [[October 2023]].

On 28 [[September 2024]], Chris and Flutter were spotted walking in the {{w|Mall of Tripla|Mall of Tripla}} in Helsinki, [[Finland]].<ref>[[Sightings (2024)#Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland]]</ref> The observer recorded a brief clip of them walking together.

==Wariness==
Since late [[December 2023]], when Flutter returned to the spotlight, many people have joked about the inability of [[ween]]s to take a good photo of her. The first strong signals of this came to light on [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Richmond International Airport|December 20]], where she was noted by an observer to wear a face mask in public:
{{quoteboxgreen|yes I was on her flight, I noticed her almost immediately but she wore a mask the whole time, It was subconscious so I didn't think much of it other than "huh she looks familiar," but while she was leaving the airport chris was waiting for her he embraced her and said her name out loud, I was on the phone and couldn't make out what he said.}}
When the said person approached them later, Chris was against him taking pictures of themselves. The same behavior repeated [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Isabella's_Italian_Trattoria_Restaurant|a day later]]:
{{quoteboxpurple|As they walked out Chris commented to a passing family “a family night, that’s nice” or something like that, and Egg had to pull him through the door. I asked Chris for a photo as he was walking out and he got PISSED. But I still shook Chris’ hand. Wish I could’ve gotten better photos but it was kind of a formal dinner.}}
He has also stated Flutter didn't seem to be mentally handicapped and took on a near [[Barbara Chandler|motherly role]] during the visit.
{{quoteboxpurple|Egg didn’t say a word to me, I passed their table at 2 points. She wasn’t noticeably mentally handicapped and seemed to be keeping Chris in check to some degree}}
During [[Animate! Raleigh]], Flutter was seen with all of her face covered up by a face mask, sunglasses and her hair. Observers also noted her obsessive self-awareness at the event.
{{quoteboxblue|I am legit annoyed that you people cannot be bothered to get one clear photo or video. How hard can it be?}}
{{quoteboxorange|Genuinely this has been more difficult than you’d imagine. Flutter appears to be quite vigilant and unwilling (obviously) to appear in anything, especially candids. With her proximity to Chris it is not surprising there is a lack of high def photos}}

{{quoteboxorange|i was legitimately right beside them on an escalator yesterday without realizing and genuinely she is so hard to see. she has such self awareness compared to chris it is insane}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Foodlionflutter.png|At Food Lion.
File:Walmartflutter.png|At Walmart.
File:Flutter.png|At River Ridge Mall.
File:CaryNC4Jan2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#Cary,North Carolina|Cary, NC]].
File:Photos-from-earlier-today-v0-zrbilxihwqac1.jpg|[[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:Chris chan & flutter with security raleigh.jpeg|With the Raleigh convention security guards.
File:Chris-chan-kicked-out-of-animate-raleigh-v0-alm3dykgevac1 cropped.jpg|Denied entry into [[Animate! Raleigh]].
File:ChrisFlutterTJMaxx23March.png|[[Sightings (2024)#TJ Maxx|TJ Maxx in Lynchburg]].
File:Chris&FlutterRidgeRiverMallJune2024.jpeg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (June)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:FlutterMinecraftSkin.jpg|A [[Minecraft]] skin of Flutter seen in [[June_2024_livestreams#Christ_Chan_Live_Stream:_OG_Cwcville_(Cwcville)-60_Minecraft|a livestream]].
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 2 (cropped).jpg|In parking lot at Walmart.
File:Walmart 5Jul2024 3 (cropped).png|In line at Walmart.
File:Walmart 12Jul2024 1 (cropped).jpg|At Walmart meat section.
File:CWC Flutter 13Aug2024 2.jpg|[[Sightings (2024)#River Ridge Mall (August)|At River Ridge Mall]].
File:Cwcflutterface-aug2024.jpg|At Valley View Mall.
File:Chris and Flutter at Mall of Tripla, Helsinki, Finland.mov00001.png|At Mall of Tripla in Helsinki, Finland.
</gallery>
</center>

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{JailSaga}}
{{ThirdExile}}
{{RevelationsSaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Millennial Generation]]

Son-Chu

2024-10-16T02:41:29Z

Buick lesabre: formatting

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] has given to his cars. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]" (or, most recently "SONCIHU"). Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu, until his [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrest]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]] and a thief stealing the unattended vehicle's plates, at which point the plates have been replaced and the van is now Barb's alone. The van was totaled in [[November 2021]] following a T-bone collision which left Barb injured with broken ribs and a concussion.<ref name=27nov>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref>

It is not known when Chris got his driver's license. The earliest he could have gotten it was 24 February [[1998]], his sixteenth birthday. However, in [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], completed in May [[2000]], Chris documents himself riding home from school on the (short) bus, suggesting that he still had not learned to drive. At the latest, Chris would have needed to obtain a license by fall [[2000]] in order to drive himself to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. In the [[Talk:Jessie Ruddy|Jessie Ruddy chatlogs]], which are of uncertain authenticity, Chris claims that he got his license at 18.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from [[February 2012]], Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer drivable and needed too much work to be roadworthy again - that, or Chris, as inept as he is, simply couldn't figure out how to get it repaired or have someone fix it for him. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall [[2011]], as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in [[June 2011]], at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In [[September 2013]], it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since [[2012]]. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of [[14 Branchland Court]], confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In [[September 2014]], Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in [[December 2014|December of 2014]]. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in [[December 2016|December of 2016]]. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://archive.ph/DUF89/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 [[September 2014]], Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In [[July 2018]], Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In [[November 2018]], [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. Considering Chris's history of automotive maintenance (particularly his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First), plus Bob no longer being around to do it for him, it's more than likely that the engine damage resulted from simply being neglected.

The car was sold at auction over the winter and repaired. In [[May 2019]], the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors in Maryland, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold in [[July 2019|July]] of that year to someone who would probably treat it better. The car is still on the road to this day, beating the odds and surviving Chandler ownership.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref> Chris never bought anything to replace it and instead started driving Barb's minivan during the winter of 2018-2019.

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owned a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20220525060721/https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://archive.is/2ohFq</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb. Most likely this was a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his tugboat on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In [[August 2019]], the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 [[April 2021]].
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the [[August 2021]] [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[Incest call]] completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 [[August 2021]], leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 [[August 2021]], a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

The van was returned to the Chandler Household around, or exactly on 29 [[August 2021]], this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at [[14 Branchland Court]].]]
</center>

On 23 [[November 2021]], Barb, not having her son to drive her anywhere, experienced a traffic accident with a tractor-trailer. The van got T-boned on its left side, with the airbags not deployed, resulting in Barb breaking two of her ribs and getting a concussion.<ref name=27nov></ref> The van was totaled and Barb was charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident and paid a $30 fine and $76 in court costs.

<center>
<gallery>
File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord1.jpg|Carfax report on the [[November 2021]] crash.
File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord2.jpg|Carfax report, part 2
File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png|Barb's Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.
</gallery>
</center>

===Chevrolet Aveo===
Following the [[Jail Saga]], on 25 [[August 2023]], Chris was spotted driving a [[2006]] Chevrolet Aveo. Records showed that the vehicle was purchased on 19 [[May 2023]] for $3,500.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Soncihu License Plate]]</ref>

According to Carfax, the Aveo, as of 3 [[August 2023]], has 138,482mi, and in typical Chris fashion, is overdue for an oil change.<ref>[[:File:Chevrolet_Aveo_Mileage.png]]</ref>
[[File:IMG 8573.jpg|thumb|150px]]
[[Naïve|Instead of reporting his SONICHU license plate as stolen]], Chris opted for a brand new plate, SONCIHU. The license plate also has a specialty design promoting the Friends of the Blue Ridge nonprofit, with a blue and gold color scheme reminiscent of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself.

On 4 [[September 2023]], the Aveo was sighted at [[14 Branchland Court]].<ref>[[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#14_Branchland_Court]]</ref> On 19 [[September 2023|September]], the Aveo was spotted at an unspecified parking lot and photographed. The photo shows Chris had duct-taped something to his dash, and also that the paint on the hood was peeling in large amounts.<ref>[[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Unspecified parking lot]]</ref>

Chris's car has been sighted at a [[Big Island]] house which is co-owned by [[Caden Peck]] and a LLC. It was first observed there by a Google Streetview camera in [[October 2023]] which captured an image of the car parked with a tarp over it (but with a wheel visible). Subsequently, in [[November 2023|November]], a Discord user photographed a clear image of the car - showing the license plates were covered while parked at the home. In [[May 2024]], a [[Reddit]] user would take photographs of the car at the home showing that the license plates were no longer covered.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichuSFW/comments/1cvu4zt/chris_chan_car_sighting/ ([https://archive.ph/gFAVz archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Bxn1aghz1amb1.png|At [[14 Branchland Court]], [[September 2023]]
File:Soncihu 19-Sept-23 (reduced size).jpg|With object taped to dash, [[September 2023]]
File:Coveredsonchu.png|Image by Google Streetview, [[October 2023]]
File:Official CWCki Server - 27Nov23 - HousePic1.jpg|Photographed at the [[Big Island]] house, [[November 2023]]
File:BigIslandHouseSoncihuMay19. Pic1.jpg|Photographed at the [[Big Island]] house, [[May 2024]]
</gallery></center>

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [https://archive.is/ux8X9 Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[https://archive.is/ZKGTF Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]</ref><ref>[https://archive.is/0zzHr Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In [[2017]], Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [https://archive.is/RqZjB Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:The Chris Chan Conspiracy - Framed Son-Chu License Plate.png|thumb|200px|Another vanity plate seen in a frame at 14 Branchland Court in footage shown in the second episode of ''[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]]''.]]
[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|200px|A vanity plate thief shows off the stolen plate on [[4chan]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|vanity plate]] read "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and another reading "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]).<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> Barb has or had a vanity plate reading "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#B Weston License Plate]]</ref> It is worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state (16.2% of all eligible vehicles as of 2007), so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate was fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

The SONICHU plate was a favorite target for thieves. One such theft occurred to the Dodge Caravan after Chris was arrested for incest on 1 August 2021, which resulted in the van being unattended at a motel parking lot.

About a day after Chris's arrest, a once anonymous troll going by the alias Airsoft Al, left a sticky note on his car and stole his license plate. Not too long after he posted about it on 4chan. An autistic user named Airsoft Al was framed for it by '''Chase Lopez''' of being Abstract Airsoft.

Following the [[Jail Saga]], with the introduction of the Chevrolet Aveo, a new iteration of the SONICHU plate was created, this time bearing the name "SONCIHU".<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Soncihu License Plate]]</ref>

{{clear}}
<div>
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
</center>
</div>

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[https://archive.is/ECj6V]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In [[2016]], an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100110134110/http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a now-defunct local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100106062022/http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[https://archive.is/w0ct5]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the [[2019]] [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://archive.is/PKV6R</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://archive.is/tGNBz</ref>}}

===Collisions and near-misses===
Chris and Barb have wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:
{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}
* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>
* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>
* On 23 [[November 2021]], [[Barb]] failed to yield the right-of-way<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> in an accident with a tractor trailer, totaling her Dodge Caravan.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref><ref>https://archive.is/VXneP/</ref>

{{-}}

==Other incidents==
* On 10 December [[2002]], Barb was pulled over in [[wikipedia:Louisa County, Virginia|Louisa County]] and charged with a defective right-side brake light. She ultimately paid $47.00 in court costs.<ref>[[:File:Barbchan2.PNG]]</ref>
* On 26 [[February 2009]], Chris locked himself out of his car during the [[Ohio trip]].
* In [[April 2019]], Chris lost his wallet at a gas station in [[wikipedia:Newport News, Virginia|Newport News, Virginia]] after placing it on top of his van, forgetting it, and driving away. The wallet was turned into the local police station where Chris retrieved it later that month.<ref>[[April 2019 social media posts#Chris Loses His Wallet]]</ref>

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|left|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in [[March 2017]]. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://archive.is/IFJG4</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

====Past Ideas Reemerging Series====
[[File:PastIdeasReemergingImage1.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magichan]] visits Son-Chu and team to share his wisdom.]]

Chris used the Son-Chu figure as a main character in his [[2024]] video series, [[Transformers - Past Ideas Reemerging]].

{{quotebox|Son-chu: "Thank you, Magichan... yeah... and ofcourse it be... among the sage-ness- the psychic ones that tend to want leave the most direct details and clues... overlooked for us to figure out for ourselves."}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
File:Escortvscaravan.jpg|Tonight on top gear, we review the Son-chu's
File:Son-chu pose.jpg| Son-Chu and the CWC Defens
File:IMG_8573.jpg|The car [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Son-Chu_sighting|seen]] driving [[August 2023]]
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Chris Chan VS. The Internet

2024-10-14T19:23:53Z

Buick lesabre: /* History */

{{quote|[[Megan]] actually wanted to be reunited with Chris because she thought it was gonna be fun, but the director went against it because it was gonna be too corny and forced|[[Geno Samuel]]<ref name=geno>[[:File:Geno on Draft docu.png]]</ref>}}

[[File:Draft Interview hard drive.jpg|thumb|right|The remains of the hard drive containing the film.]]

'''''Chris Chan VS. The Internet''''' is a cancelled and (presumed) lost documentary film directed by film student '''Joseph Draft''', which would've focused on the current condition of [[Chris]] and the [[Chris and reality|long-term effects]] that [[internet]] [[troll]]ing has had on his mental state. The trailer, a leaked minute from the opening, and two brief leaked clips are the only known surviving portions of the film, and as of [[November 2020]], the film remains in limbo, if not outright lost.

According to [[Naught]], the mostly-completed film was later destroyed by Draft out of [[stress]] over film cuts and infighting with some of his collaborators.<ref name=stress>[[Official CWCki Server chats (Naught)#Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]</ref> Naught also claimed that Draft face-doxed himself after a 4-hour conversation once the drive was destroyed.<ref>[[Naught#History]]</ref>

==History==
[[File:Geno on Draft footage.png|thumb|[[Geno Samuel]] talks about what could have been.]]
[[File:Geno on Draft docu.png|thumb]]

When first announced, the documentary garnered significant criticism from [[Kiwi Farms]] due to its announcement being through a [[Kickstarter]] page via a tweet from Chris, and having a funding goal of $20,000, which Kiwi Farms members argued as being too high considering the film was stated as being completed.{{cite}} The description on the Kickstarter page<ref>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdraft/chris-chan-vs-the-internet</ref> initially had very little information on the documentary and no breakdown of how the $20,000 of the budget would be used, which led to much speculation on how the money would be spent and how much may be for profit. The page was eventually updated and described that the film had been completed (to a point), included new interviews with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris, new interviews with [[Megan Schroeder]] and that the purpose of the Kickstarter was to conduct additional interviews with the Chandlers and also with various YouTubers who discuss Chris such as [[Geno Samuel]] (known for ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'') and Sachumo (known for his 2015 [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|documentary]] and [[Sachumo Interview|2017 interview]] of Chris).

Kiwi Farms user CMCW posted in a thread about the project, claiming to be involved with it and wanting to do a Q&A. However, despite CMCW answering several questions, several Kiwi Farms members remained hostile towards the project and its creators.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Chris Chan Vs the Internet]]</ref> The Kickstarter for the film was abruptly cancelled on 6 [[April 2019]], only two days after its announcement.

According to [[Geno Samuel]], Megan actually wanted to reunite with Chris in person; however, Draft vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced".<ref name=geno></ref> According to [[Naught]], eventually, Megan changed her mind on being included in the film, and requested her inclusion be cut.<ref name=stress></ref> Naught also claimed that the stress over the matters led Draft to give up on the project,<ref name=stress></ref> and eventually destroy a hard drive containing the only known copy of the film. Draft also feared that the hostility surrounding the film would also lead to him getting [[dox]]xed, so he did the job himself.<ref>[[:File:Joseph Draft KF.jpg]]</ref>

According to Geno, "Joe's buddy who saw the footage said they got lots of footage of Chris belching and screaming in public, and was all giddy about it".<ref>[[:File:Geno on Draft footage.png]]</ref>

As of [[October 2024]], the film has yet to surface online, so it can be presumed that if it isn't sitting in cloud storage or on a hard drive somewhere, then the unused footage has been lost entirely.

==Mentions by Chris==
{{quote|You all could have had this genuine and heart-felt gem, but you’ve had to shoot yourselves in the freaking feet by spamming hatred like a bunch of beheaded chickens or ”World War Z” Zombies.|Chris expressing his disappointment over the cancellation.<ref name=sept20>[[September 2020 social media posts#Chris Chan VS The Internet cancellation rant]]</ref>}}

On 20 [[September 2020]], Chris, having discovered a mirror of the trailer on YouTube, left a comment thanking the uploader for archiving it.<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Chris Chan VS. The Internet Trailer (Cancelled Kickstarter Documentary by Joseph Draft)]]</ref> Chris later posted his thoughts on it to Twitter.<ref name=sept20></ref> In the tweets, he confirmed that the female voice heard near the end belonged to Megan, and accused trolls of "spamming hatred" and thus getting the documentary cancelled. Viewing the trailer also sparked Chris into having an emotional breakdown over Megan, which he chatted about in [[The Place]].<ref>[[The Place chats - Megan Obsession]]</ref>

== Kickstarter trailer ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan VS The Internet by Joseph Draft — Kickstarter''
| ytid = dGekFLTbeos
| Stardate = 4 April 2019
| Subject = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rage|[[Chris and anger|Chris's Anger]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Comics|text}}
| Video Type = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see a shot of a [[The Hook Cafe|C-Ville Weekly]] vending box in the city, and a shot of a [[Ruckersville]] entrance sign.'']

'''Chris''': [''audio reused from [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|this video]]''] Hello. I record this message, in re...in response to the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has been against me...

[''Chris is seen placing a tray of markers on a table, then begins drawing [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on a piece of paper with a black ballpoint pen.'']

'''Chris''': Every detail...on that heinous page, against me, is all a pack of lies.

[''A montage of Chris walking through a woodland, selecting [[Chris and art|a pack of Crayola markers]] at a store, drinking coffee plays. Chris is then seen hugging one of [[Clover and Snoopy|the beagles]] while the other bays in the background'']

'''Barbara''': [''narrating''] At first, he couldn’t talk. So, he was...err...trained with a speech therapist. His behavior was not normal.

'''Barbara''': [''on-screen''] I...wasn't aware of...err...all what was going on, at first.

[''Chris breathes outdoors with his eyes closed, then the film's title appears, followed by a shot of Megan (from behind) in an antique shop'']

'''Megan''': Now, he...he seems like a totally different person to me.

== Leaked opening ==
On 12 July 2020, a phone recording of the intro to the documentary was leaked, featuring Chris walking through the woods while singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled|You've Been Trolled]]" and shots of some of his toys.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan vs the internet opening clip''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G6uEMpBxFu0}}
| Stardate = 12 July 2020
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "The following film is true... and honest".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] walking in a forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "A film by Joseph Draft".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] singing the lyrics to the song'' "You've been trolled" ''while continuing to walk in the forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Christine Chandler" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing can still be heard.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "[[Barbara Chandler]]" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing continues.'']

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] finishes the song while looking at the camera.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Chris Chan VS. The Internet".]

[''A montage of Chris's [[MLP]] and [[Legos]] toys along with the [[Sonichu Plush]].'']

==July 2023 leaks==

On 1 July 2023, 'IRaiseUALatte' on [[Reddit]] leaked some footage from Chris Chan Vs. The Internet. They got the footage from their friend, who used to know the 'audio guy' on the project.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14ofdor/forgot_i_had_these_from_the_supposed_canceled/</ref>

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''July 1 2023''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|98sXo70dAWs}}
| Stardate = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

'''Interviewer:''' How do you see, how are you going to uh take care of yourself or where are you going to live...Uh, when...uh, the time with your, [[Barb|your mother]] is...is uh...up? Um, what's, what, what is your plan for after that?

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hopefully I'll be in, very...likely and gracefully and hopefully I'll be in [[Dimensions#C-197|C197]] in [[CWCVille]] then, and I'll be living in the [unintelligible]! And actually helping and, saving the world and dimensions and everything, but other than that? Every time I'm asked a question like 'where do you see yourself in five years or so?', like...[''[[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|takes off glasses]], [[Creepy stare|stares creepily]], and falls over dramatically'']

'''Interviewer:''' [''chuckles''] Well, [''cuts off'']

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''July 1 2023''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|znnWao2FJbQ}}
| Stardate = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

'''Chris:''' Then that's fine. That's where she can go from, but I wasn't when I was thrown(?) at least as far as I know. As far as I knew back then, but I came around. I'm [[bisexual]] [[Transgender|trans woman]]! And I, I lick [[China|pussy]] and suck [[Pickle|cocks!]]

'''Interviewer:''' [''starts laughing'']

==See also==
*[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]
*[[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)]]
*[[Chris in the media]]
*[[Kickstarter]]

{{References}}
{{WatchmenSaga}}
{{Documentaries}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Lost Media]]
[[Category:Documentaries]]

Chris Chan VS. The Internet

2024-10-14T19:23:44Z

Buick lesabre: /* History */

{{quote|[[Megan]] actually wanted to be reunited with Chris because she thought it was gonna be fun, but the director went against it because it was gonna be too corny and forced|[[Geno Samuel]]<ref name=geno>[[:File:Geno on Draft docu.png]]</ref>}}

[[File:Draft Interview hard drive.jpg|thumb|right|The remains of the hard drive containing the film.]]

'''''Chris Chan VS. The Internet''''' is a cancelled and (presumed) lost documentary film directed by film student '''Joseph Draft''', which would've focused on the current condition of [[Chris]] and the [[Chris and reality|long-term effects]] that [[internet]] [[troll]]ing has had on his mental state. The trailer, a leaked minute from the opening, and two brief leaked clips are the only known surviving portions of the film, and as of [[November 2020]], the film remains in limbo, if not outright lost.

According to [[Naught]], the mostly-completed film was later destroyed by Draft out of [[stress]] over film cuts and infighting with some of his collaborators.<ref name=stress>[[Official CWCki Server chats (Naught)#Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]</ref> Naught also claimed that Draft face-doxed himself after a 4-hour conversation once the drive was destroyed.<ref>[[Naught#History]]</ref>

==History==
[[File:Geno on Draft footage.png|thumb|[[Geno Samuel]] talks about what could have been.]]
[[File:Geno on Draft docu.png|thumb]]

When first announced, the documentary garnered significant criticism from [[Kiwi Farms]] due to its announcement being through a [[Kickstarter]] page via a tweet from Chris, and having a funding goal of $20,000, which Kiwi Farms members argued as being too high considering the film was stated as being completed.{{cite}} The description on the Kickstarter page<ref>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdraft/chris-chan-vs-the-internet</ref> initially had very little information on the documentary and no breakdown of how the $20,000 of the budget would be used, which led to much speculation on how the money would be spent and how much may be for profit. The page was eventually updated and described that the film had been completed (to a point), included new interviews with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris, new interviews with [[Megan Schroeder]] and that the purpose of the Kickstarter was to conduct additional interviews with the Chandlers and also with various YouTubers who discuss Chris such as [[Geno Samuel]] (known for ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'') and Sachumo (known for his 2015 [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|documentary]] and [[Sachumo Interview|2017 interview]] of Chris).

Kiwi Farms user CMCW posted in a thread about the project, claiming to be involved with it and wanting to do a Q&A. However, despite CMCW answering several questions, several Kiwi Farms members remained hostile towards the project and its creators.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Chris Chan Vs the Internet]]</ref> The Kickstarter for the film was abruptly cancelled on 6 [[April 2019]], only two days after its announcement.

According to [[Geno Samuel]], Megan actually wanted to reunite with Chris in person; however, Draft vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced".<ref name=geno></ref> According to [[Naught]], eventually, Megan changed her mind on being included in the film, and requested her inclusion be cut.<ref name=stress></ref> Naught also claimed that the stress over the matters led Draft to give up on the project,<ref name=stress></ref> and eventually destroy a hard drive containing the only known copy of the film. Draft also feared that the hostility surrounding the film would also lead to him getting [[dox]]xed, so he did the job himself.<ref>[[:File:Joseph Draft KF.jpg]]</ref>

According to Geno, "Joe's buddy who saw the footage said they got lots of footage of Chris belching and screaming in public, and was all giddy about it".<ref>[[:File:Geno on Draft footage.png]]</ref>

As of [[October 2023]], the film has yet to surface online, so it can be presumed that if it isn't sitting in cloud storage or on a hard drive somewhere, then the unused footage has been lost entirely.

==Mentions by Chris==
{{quote|You all could have had this genuine and heart-felt gem, but you’ve had to shoot yourselves in the freaking feet by spamming hatred like a bunch of beheaded chickens or ”World War Z” Zombies.|Chris expressing his disappointment over the cancellation.<ref name=sept20>[[September 2020 social media posts#Chris Chan VS The Internet cancellation rant]]</ref>}}

On 20 [[September 2020]], Chris, having discovered a mirror of the trailer on YouTube, left a comment thanking the uploader for archiving it.<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Chris Chan VS. The Internet Trailer (Cancelled Kickstarter Documentary by Joseph Draft)]]</ref> Chris later posted his thoughts on it to Twitter.<ref name=sept20></ref> In the tweets, he confirmed that the female voice heard near the end belonged to Megan, and accused trolls of "spamming hatred" and thus getting the documentary cancelled. Viewing the trailer also sparked Chris into having an emotional breakdown over Megan, which he chatted about in [[The Place]].<ref>[[The Place chats - Megan Obsession]]</ref>

== Kickstarter trailer ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan VS The Internet by Joseph Draft — Kickstarter''
| ytid = dGekFLTbeos
| Stardate = 4 April 2019
| Subject = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rage|[[Chris and anger|Chris's Anger]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Comics|text}}
| Video Type = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see a shot of a [[The Hook Cafe|C-Ville Weekly]] vending box in the city, and a shot of a [[Ruckersville]] entrance sign.'']

'''Chris''': [''audio reused from [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|this video]]''] Hello. I record this message, in re...in response to the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has been against me...

[''Chris is seen placing a tray of markers on a table, then begins drawing [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on a piece of paper with a black ballpoint pen.'']

'''Chris''': Every detail...on that heinous page, against me, is all a pack of lies.

[''A montage of Chris walking through a woodland, selecting [[Chris and art|a pack of Crayola markers]] at a store, drinking coffee plays. Chris is then seen hugging one of [[Clover and Snoopy|the beagles]] while the other bays in the background'']

'''Barbara''': [''narrating''] At first, he couldn’t talk. So, he was...err...trained with a speech therapist. His behavior was not normal.

'''Barbara''': [''on-screen''] I...wasn't aware of...err...all what was going on, at first.

[''Chris breathes outdoors with his eyes closed, then the film's title appears, followed by a shot of Megan (from behind) in an antique shop'']

'''Megan''': Now, he...he seems like a totally different person to me.

== Leaked opening ==
On 12 July 2020, a phone recording of the intro to the documentary was leaked, featuring Chris walking through the woods while singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled|You've Been Trolled]]" and shots of some of his toys.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan vs the internet opening clip''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G6uEMpBxFu0}}
| Stardate = 12 July 2020
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "The following film is true... and honest".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] walking in a forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "A film by Joseph Draft".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] singing the lyrics to the song'' "You've been trolled" ''while continuing to walk in the forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Christine Chandler" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing can still be heard.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "[[Barbara Chandler]]" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing continues.'']

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] finishes the song while looking at the camera.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Chris Chan VS. The Internet".]

[''A montage of Chris's [[MLP]] and [[Legos]] toys along with the [[Sonichu Plush]].'']

==July 2023 leaks==

On 1 July 2023, 'IRaiseUALatte' on [[Reddit]] leaked some footage from Chris Chan Vs. The Internet. They got the footage from their friend, who used to know the 'audio guy' on the project.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/14ofdor/forgot_i_had_these_from_the_supposed_canceled/</ref>

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''July 1 2023''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|98sXo70dAWs}}
| Stardate = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

'''Interviewer:''' How do you see, how are you going to uh take care of yourself or where are you going to live...Uh, when...uh, the time with your, [[Barb|your mother]] is...is uh...up? Um, what's, what, what is your plan for after that?

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hopefully I'll be in, very...likely and gracefully and hopefully I'll be in [[Dimensions#C-197|C197]] in [[CWCVille]] then, and I'll be living in the [unintelligible]! And actually helping and, saving the world and dimensions and everything, but other than that? Every time I'm asked a question like 'where do you see yourself in five years or so?', like...[''[[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|takes off glasses]], [[Creepy stare|stares creepily]], and falls over dramatically'']

'''Interviewer:''' [''chuckles''] Well, [''cuts off'']

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''July 1 2023''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|znnWao2FJbQ}}
| Stardate = Unknown
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

'''Chris:''' Then that's fine. That's where she can go from, but I wasn't when I was thrown(?) at least as far as I know. As far as I knew back then, but I came around. I'm [[bisexual]] [[Transgender|trans woman]]! And I, I lick [[China|pussy]] and suck [[Pickle|cocks!]]

'''Interviewer:''' [''starts laughing'']

==See also==
*[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]
*[[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)]]
*[[Chris in the media]]
*[[Kickstarter]]

{{References}}
{{WatchmenSaga}}
{{Documentaries}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Lost Media]]
[[Category:Documentaries]]

Autism papers

2024-05-26T02:08:19Z

Buick lesabre: /* Background */

The '''autism papers''' are some of the most valued [[Relics of Fail|Holy Fails]], in which the exact nature of [[Chris]]'s psychiatric [[Chris and psychology|diagnosis]] is revealed by an objective source (as opposed to Chris's revisionist account of his life), and the extent of his [[autism]] (or whether he really is autistic at all) is explained.

To date, only an intake survey from [[2004]] is available, resulting from Chris's mandated visit to a psychiatrist after flipping out while attending [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. His original, earlier papers, dating to when Chris was five or six years old, remain locked away in [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] filing cabinet. Ivy discovered that it is impossible for Chris to recover them himself, as Bob kept the keys on his person at all times. As a result of Bob's death, the keys are presumably in Barbara's possession now. Either way, these autism papers can be considered lost Holy Fails, due to Chris's paranoid nature and the fact that he'd actually have to put effort into finding them, not to mention that they may have been destroyed in [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire in January 2014]].

Chris was scheduled to receive a new mental health evaluation between August and November 2021, as part of his [[Jail Saga|court hearings]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]]. The results of this, or if it has taken place at all, are currently unknown.

==Background==
In '''November 2009''', Solid Chris e-mailed [[Kacey]] these papers to show that he is a [[Honest Content|TRUE AND HONEST]] autistic. Kacey shared these papers with her new husband, [[Liquid Chris]], who in turn distributed them online. The papers are presented here in their original form, edited only for wiki styling and linking.

A number of passages of this copy have been outlined in yellow highlighting marker. Most of them either describe Chris's search for a [[sweetheart]] or contain some of the evaluator's more favorable judgments of Chris's mental state. A few are passages that confirm the diagnosis of Chris's autism.

To date, this is the only independent, professional evaluation of Chris's condition available.

Several observers have pointed out that these documents seem to paint a surprisingly rosy picture of Chris's behavior and mental state. It helps to keep a few factors in mind, though:

* The survey took place in [[2004]] — at the time, Chris still attended school (at least until the suspension), went outside on a regular basis, was yet to be banned from his [[The GAMe PLACe|favorite hangout]], and received at least a modest amount of social interaction. He was probably in a genuinely better state of mind at the time of the exam, as opposed to Chris after years of isolation and staying indoors for days at a time.

* This survey also predates all of Chris's major run-ins with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. At the time, there was no strong evidence to suggest Chris had the potential for violent acts and merely came off as a socially awkward outcast.

* Despite being famous for his wild confrontations with authority, Chris is in fact extremely deferent in the face of authority figures so long as he doesn't think they're a hindrance to him (consider the opening moments of the [[Father Call]]).

* To the uninitiated, his [[Love Quest]] can come across as rather sweet in an idiotic way, the desperate actions of a socially awkward but basically sincere and harmless person – after all, the majority of people want love.

* The survey was based on a fairly brief encounter with Chris by a psych''iatr''ist. Deeper autism evaluations are generally the job of a clinical psych''olog''ist, and they can involve multiple lengthy sessions. The psychiatric diagnostic process is much quicker than the psychological process, relying more on simple checklists than a battery of tests.

* The mental status exam was cursory – full autism evaluations are usually conducted alongside thorough IQ tests, while Chris's evaluator used the much quicker Folstein test. Most people, even those with mental illnesses, can still get a perfect Folstein score.

As trolls have learned over the years, he gets much worse with regular exposure.

==Intake Survey==
===Page 1===

[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P1.jpg|thumb|Scan of page 1.]]

<center>'''OUTPATIENT PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES'''</center>
 Department of Psychiatric Medicine
 [[University of Virginia]] Health System

 Northridge Building, Suite 210, P. O. Box 801210
 [[Charlottesville]], Virginia 22908-1210
 (434) 243-4646; Fax (434) 243-4743

 Patient's Name: Christian Chandler
 UVA History #: 003 79 67
 Date of Birth: 02/24/[[1982|82]]
 Date of Intake: 11/05/[[2004|04]]
 [[Wikipedia:Residency (medicine)|Resident Physician]]: Jeff Raynor, M.D., Resident in Psychiatric Medicine
 Attending Physician: Zachariah C. Dameron, III, M.D.

====IDENTIFYING STATEMENT:====

Mr. Chandler is a 22-year-old SWM with a history of [[autism]], who was referred for psychiatric evaluation following his recent suspension from community college.

====HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS:====

Mr. Chandler says that since finishing high school and starting at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] in the year [[2000]], he has had an [[Love Quest|increasing interest]] in a [[Boyfriend-free girl|female companion]]. His attempts at this ultimately led to his suspension from college. His attempt took the form of a [[Attraction sign|sign]], which he placed next to himself while sitting in the lobby at Piedmont. The sign was a list of qualifications that a potential girlfriend would have. He said that he has been very frustrated by his inability to find a girlfriend and he suffers from "[[Noviophobia|novio phobia]]." This refers to his frustration that females often tell him that they already have a boyfriend. While he does have [[Chris and sex|physical attraction]] towards females, his primary frustration is with his lack of companionship. He had also carried his sign in the [[Fashion Square Mall]]. This unfortunately led to him being detained by [[Jerkop|the police]] and placed in handcuffs briefly, although he was not taken to jail.

During the interview, the patient provided the examiner with a number of examples of his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. Much of this artwork was centered on his interest in a video game, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], as well as [[Pokémon|Pokeman [''sic'']]] cartoon characters.

The patient's parents provided additional historical information and documentation as to the reasons for his suspension from PVCC. According to his parents, there have been a number of incidents which led to his suspension. They feel strongly that the suspension was unwarranted and did not take into account the patient's developmental limitations. One such occurrence was during an interaction with [[Niggos|African American]] classmates. These young women were questioning the patient regarding his search for a girlfriend, at which point he told them they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. This was perceived as racially insensitive, although from the patient's perspective, he was merely pointing out they did not meet his standard criteria for a [[gal pal|female companion]]. He says that he was unaware at the time that there was any other connotation to this. Various guidance counselors at the college were working with the patient to help him adjust to the college setting. They had apparently asked him to stop carrying the sign around campus, per the patient, one of these counselors actually physically destroyed the sign to prevent this behavior. He left an angry note with [[Mary Lee Walsh|Ms. Walsh]], who is in administration. He provided a copy of this note, and it is contained in the chart. It did not specifically [''continues on Page 2'']

===Page 2===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P2.jpg|thumb|right|Scan of page 2.]]
 Christian Chandler (003 79 67)
 Page 2 of 4
 November 5, 2004

[''Continuing from Page 1''] [[Death threats|threaten her]], but expressed his dislike of her and communicated an [[Creepy_stare|"intimidating glare"]] in a pictorial fashion. Based on the letter sent to him by the college, this was interpreted by the administrator as being a form of harassment. There were several hearings held on the matter and ultimately the patient was suspended. The criteria that have been set for his return to Piedmont included [[Chris and anger|anger]] management classes, psychological evaluation, and "social skills counseling." He has already undergone psychological evaluation by Robin Hawkes at the Center of Learning Potential. The recommendation concerning Mr. Chandler's [[heart level|emotional status]] is that he seek psychiatric and psychological treatment. The psychologist felt that counseling and medication would possibly address his obsessive thought patterns and assist him with social skills. She also recommended anger management training.

====PAST PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY:====

Mr. Chandler was diagnosed with autism around age five or six. He has never had ongoing treatment by a psychiatrist, but has been treated in the past by [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|for unclear reason]] [''sic'']. He has never been in a psychiatric hospital and has no history of violent or self-injurious behavior. He has no history of [[Rape|sexual acting out]].

===[[Chris and health|PAST MEDICAL HISTORY]]:===

The patient has not had significant medical problems other than his autism. He has no history of head injury, loss of consciousness, seizures, CNS infections, stroke.

====MEDICATIONS:====

:[[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] 20 mgs. q. day, which the patient has been on for the past four years.

:Herbal supplements/over-the-counter - none.

====ALLERGIES:====

None known.

====SUBSTANCE ABUSE:====

The patient does not use [[Tobacky|tobacco]] or [[My Coke Rewards|caffeine]]. He does not [[Alcohol|drink]] and he does not use illicit substances.

====SOCIAL HISTORY:====

The patient was born in the [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] area. He had a normal prenatal period. He walked at normal age but was delayed in his language ability. He had some high frequency hearing loss early on. Per his parents, he did not speak until the age of seven. At around age twelve, he began to develop more effective communication skills. He apparently used the closed captioning on the television to learn how to read. There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, [[Bob Chandler|the patient's father]] moved them to [[Richmond]], Virginia. He went to a regular middle school and [[Manchester High School|high school]] while there. He was able to function well academically and graduated from high school in regular classes. He had a number of friends through middle and high school.

===Page 3===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P3.jpg|thumb|right|Scan of page 3.]]

Christian Chandler (003 79 67) 
Page 3 of 4 
November 5, 2004

====FAMILY HISTORY:====

The patient's [[Bob|father]] has significant [[Wikipedia:Coronary artery disease|Coronary Artery Disease]] and recently had a bypass graph done. He is 77-years-old and is retired engineer from General Electric. [[Barb|His mother]] is 65-years-old and worked in the past at a local bank. Neither of his parents or any other family members are known to have any psychiatric disease. The patient has a maternal cousin who has severe autism, although there are no other family members with developmental delays.

====MENTAL STATUS EXAM:====

The patient is a mildly [[Obesity|overweight]], white male, wearing blue jeans and a [[Chris and fashion|shirt]]. He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has [[Medallions#Prototype|a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [''sic''] characters head]]. He also had a number of “shrinky dink” decorations attached to this necklace. He had a large backpack that he carried with him and had a [[Scrapbook of Fail|notebook containing a large number of drawings]]. He showed the examiner an extensive set of [[Card games|trading cards]], which he created for his video game characters. The artwork was hand drawn and then scanned into the [[Computers|computer]] for transfer to the card. He had a number of statistics and other information on the backside of the card. The patient pointed out a series of cards that were of a video game theme, but depicted him in various difficult situations in which he has dealt with recently. He also presented the examiner with his [[business card]] containing a link to [[Sonichu.net|his website]]. His speech was somewhat nasal with frequent, awkward laughing during his sentences. His speech was fluent. His responses were appropriate to the questions posed to him. Overall, the volume of his speech was slightly elevated, although his tone was generally pleasant and almost jovial. His thought processes were linear and logical. He was somewhat concrete, especially regarding social interactions. He seemed to have good insight into his limitations. As suggested above, his thought content was largely based on his interest in Pokeman [''sic''] and sonic [''sic''] cartoons. He did not express any delusional thought content. There was perhaps an obsessional quality to [[Love Quest|his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend]], although he did not feel that this was a problem for him. He did not voice any perceptual disturbances and did not seem to be responding to internal stimuli. His impulse control appeared to be good during the interview and his judgment was fair, although social judgment was likely somewhat limited.

[[Wikipedia:Mini-mental state examination|Folstein score]] was 30/30 with his sentence being, “[[Random-access humor|Uncle Spunky is a really funky monkey.]]”

====IMPRESSION:====
Mr. Chandler is a 22-year-old man with a history of developmental delays and autism. Despite these limitations, he seems to have been [[Honor Roll|quite successful in maximizing his academic abilities]]. Despite his significant delays in language, he has over the years developed relatively affective [''sic''] communication skills. He is left, however, with a severe degree of social awkwardness and seems to have good insight into this. He is left feeling somewhat frustrated as he has a strong desire for companionship, although his social limitations prevent him from being able to realize this in the way which he would like. He has been on antidepressants for many years and it is not entirely clear what role they played. As mentioned above, there is a certain obsessional quality to his thoughts, although it is not clear that he meets criteria for an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Overall, he has a sense that the Paxil has been affective [''sic''] in tempering his frustrations and anger. His parents also feel he has benefited from it. He would possibly benefit from psychotherapy, although this would need to be tailored to his interpersonal style. Ideally this would be done in a setting tailored to patients with this sort of developmental problem. Based on the information available at this time, the patient doesn't seem to pose a significant threat to himself or anyone else. There is some suggestion that the anger control has been a problem, although how that has manifested itself is unclearly [''sic'']. He certainly has no history of physical violence which would suggest any [[October 28 2011|future]] [[26 December 2014|risk]].

===Page 4===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P4.jpg|thumb|Scan of page 4.]]

Christian Chandler (003 79 67) 
Page 4 of 4 
November 5, 2004

====DIAGNOSIS:====
[[Wikipedia:Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders#DSM-IV multi-axial_system|Axis]] I: None 
Axis II: Autistic disorder, [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV_Codes#Pervasive_developmental_disorders|299.00]] 
Axis III: None 
Axis IV: Suspension from school, social isolation 
Axis V: [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|70]] 

====PLAN:====
1. After discussing the risks, benefits, and side effects, the patient and his parents agreed to have his Paxil increased from 20 mgs. to 30 mgs. They were offered a prescription, but preferred to have this done by their primary care physician.

2. Releases of information were signed for the counselors at PVCC in case this became necessary for further evaluation purposes.

3. We will try to work with the department of rehab services to facilitate any other services that might be available for Mr. Chandler

4. The patient's parents were unsure of whether they will be following up here at the clinic in the future as there are insurance concerns which might limit this. They were, however, informed of access to emergency care and encouraged to call the clinic with any questions or concerns.

5. No follow-up appointment has been scheduled, although should they wish to continue the patient's psychiatric care at this clinic, we would be more than happy to see him.

6. The patient was seen by the attending, Dr. Zachariah Dameron, who agrees with the above-mentioned assessment and treatment plan. 

Jeff Raynor, M.D. Zachariah C. Dameron, III, M.D. 
Resident in Psychiatric Medicine Attending 

JR:ns T: 11/12/04 D: 11/11/04

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[Chris and psychology]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:PVCC Saga]]

Autism papers

2024-05-26T02:06:58Z

Buick lesabre:

The '''autism papers''' are some of the most valued [[Relics of Fail|Holy Fails]], in which the exact nature of [[Chris]]'s psychiatric [[Chris and psychology|diagnosis]] is revealed by an objective source (as opposed to Chris's revisionist account of his life), and the extent of his [[autism]] (or whether he really is autistic at all) is explained.

To date, only an intake survey from [[2004]] is available, resulting from Chris's mandated visit to a psychiatrist after flipping out while attending [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. His original, earlier papers, dating to when Chris was five or six years old, remain locked away in [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] filing cabinet. Ivy discovered that it is impossible for Chris to recover them himself, as Bob kept the keys on his person at all times. As a result of Bob's death, the keys are presumably in Barbara's possession now. Either way, these autism papers can be considered lost Holy Fails, due to Chris's paranoid nature and the fact that he'd actually have to put effort into finding them, not to mention that they may have been destroyed in [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the house fire in January 2014]].

Chris was scheduled to receive a new mental health evaluation between August and November 2021, as part of his [[Jail Saga|court hearings]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]]. The results of this, or if it has taken place at all, are currently unknown.

==Background==
In '''November 2009''', Solid Chris e-mailed [[Kacey]] these papers to show that he is a [[Honest Content|TRUE AND HONEST]] autistic. Kacey shared these papers with her new husband, [[Liquid Chris]], who in turn distributed them online. The papers are presented here in their original form, edited only for wiki styling and linking.

A number of passages of this copy have been outlined in yellow highlighting marker. Most of them either describe Chris's search for a [[sweetheart]] or contain some of the evaluator's more favorable judgments of Chris's mental state. A few are passages that confirm the diagnosis of Chris's autism.

To date, this is the only independent, professional evaluation of Chris's condition available.

Several observers have pointed out that these documents seem to paint a surprisingly rosy picture of Chris's behavior and mental state. It helps to keep a few factors in mind, though:

* The survey took place in [[2004]] — at the time, Chris still attended school (at least until the suspension), went outside on a regular basis, was yet to be banned from his [[The GAMe PLACe|favorite hangout]], and received at least a modest amount of social interaction. He was probably in a genuinely better state of mind at the time of the exam,\ as opposed to Chris after years of isolation and staying indoors for days at a time.

* This survey also predates all of Chris's major run-ins with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. At the time, there was no strong evidence to suggest Chris had the potential for violent acts and merely came off as a socially awkward outcast.

* Despite being famous for his wild confrontations with authority, Chris is in fact extremely deferent in the face of authority figures so long as he doesn't think they're a hindrance to him (consider the opening moments of the [[Father Call]]).

* To the uninitiated, his [[Love Quest]] can come across as rather sweet in an idiotic way, the desperate actions of a socially awkward but basically sincere and harmless person – after all, the majority of people want love.

* The survey was based on a fairly brief encounter with Chris by a psych''iatr''ist. Deeper autism evaluations are generally the job of a clinical psych''olog''ist, and they can involve multiple lengthy sessions. The psychiatric diagnostic process is much quicker than the psychological process, relying more on simple checklists than a battery of tests.

* The mental status exam was cursory – full autism evaluations are usually conducted alongside thorough IQ tests, while Chris's evaluator used the much quicker Folstein test. Most people, even those with mental illnesses, can still get a perfect Folstein score.

As trolls have learned over the years, he gets much worse with regular exposure.

==Intake Survey==
===Page 1===

[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P1.jpg|thumb|Scan of page 1.]]

<center>'''OUTPATIENT PSYCHIATRIC SERVICES'''</center>
 Department of Psychiatric Medicine
 [[University of Virginia]] Health System

 Northridge Building, Suite 210, P. O. Box 801210
 [[Charlottesville]], Virginia 22908-1210
 (434) 243-4646; Fax (434) 243-4743

 Patient's Name: Christian Chandler
 UVA History #: 003 79 67
 Date of Birth: 02/24/[[1982|82]]
 Date of Intake: 11/05/[[2004|04]]
 [[Wikipedia:Residency (medicine)|Resident Physician]]: Jeff Raynor, M.D., Resident in Psychiatric Medicine
 Attending Physician: Zachariah C. Dameron, III, M.D.

====IDENTIFYING STATEMENT:====

Mr. Chandler is a 22-year-old SWM with a history of [[autism]], who was referred for psychiatric evaluation following his recent suspension from community college.

====HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS:====

Mr. Chandler says that since finishing high school and starting at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] in the year [[2000]], he has had an [[Love Quest|increasing interest]] in a [[Boyfriend-free girl|female companion]]. His attempts at this ultimately led to his suspension from college. His attempt took the form of a [[Attraction sign|sign]], which he placed next to himself while sitting in the lobby at Piedmont. The sign was a list of qualifications that a potential girlfriend would have. He said that he has been very frustrated by his inability to find a girlfriend and he suffers from "[[Noviophobia|novio phobia]]." This refers to his frustration that females often tell him that they already have a boyfriend. While he does have [[Chris and sex|physical attraction]] towards females, his primary frustration is with his lack of companionship. He had also carried his sign in the [[Fashion Square Mall]]. This unfortunately led to him being detained by [[Jerkop|the police]] and placed in handcuffs briefly, although he was not taken to jail.

During the interview, the patient provided the examiner with a number of examples of his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. Much of this artwork was centered on his interest in a video game, [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], as well as [[Pokémon|Pokeman [''sic'']]] cartoon characters.

The patient's parents provided additional historical information and documentation as to the reasons for his suspension from PVCC. According to his parents, there have been a number of incidents which led to his suspension. They feel strongly that the suspension was unwarranted and did not take into account the patient's developmental limitations. One such occurrence was during an interaction with [[Niggos|African American]] classmates. These young women were questioning the patient regarding his search for a girlfriend, at which point he told them they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. This was perceived as racially insensitive, although from the patient's perspective, he was merely pointing out they did not meet his standard criteria for a [[gal pal|female companion]]. He says that he was unaware at the time that there was any other connotation to this. Various guidance counselors at the college were working with the patient to help him adjust to the college setting. They had apparently asked him to stop carrying the sign around campus, per the patient, one of these counselors actually physically destroyed the sign to prevent this behavior. He left an angry note with [[Mary Lee Walsh|Ms. Walsh]], who is in administration. He provided a copy of this note, and it is contained in the chart. It did not specifically [''continues on Page 2'']

===Page 2===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P2.jpg|thumb|right|Scan of page 2.]]
 Christian Chandler (003 79 67)
 Page 2 of 4
 November 5, 2004

[''Continuing from Page 1''] [[Death threats|threaten her]], but expressed his dislike of her and communicated an [[Creepy_stare|"intimidating glare"]] in a pictorial fashion. Based on the letter sent to him by the college, this was interpreted by the administrator as being a form of harassment. There were several hearings held on the matter and ultimately the patient was suspended. The criteria that have been set for his return to Piedmont included [[Chris and anger|anger]] management classes, psychological evaluation, and "social skills counseling." He has already undergone psychological evaluation by Robin Hawkes at the Center of Learning Potential. The recommendation concerning Mr. Chandler's [[heart level|emotional status]] is that he seek psychiatric and psychological treatment. The psychologist felt that counseling and medication would possibly address his obsessive thought patterns and assist him with social skills. She also recommended anger management training.

====PAST PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY:====

Mr. Chandler was diagnosed with autism around age five or six. He has never had ongoing treatment by a psychiatrist, but has been treated in the past by [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|for unclear reason]] [''sic'']. He has never been in a psychiatric hospital and has no history of violent or self-injurious behavior. He has no history of [[Rape|sexual acting out]].

===[[Chris and health|PAST MEDICAL HISTORY]]:===

The patient has not had significant medical problems other than his autism. He has no history of head injury, loss of consciousness, seizures, CNS infections, stroke.

====MEDICATIONS:====

:[[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] 20 mgs. q. day, which the patient has been on for the past four years.

:Herbal supplements/over-the-counter - none.

====ALLERGIES:====

None known.

====SUBSTANCE ABUSE:====

The patient does not use [[Tobacky|tobacco]] or [[My Coke Rewards|caffeine]]. He does not [[Alcohol|drink]] and he does not use illicit substances.

====SOCIAL HISTORY:====

The patient was born in the [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] area. He had a normal prenatal period. He walked at normal age but was delayed in his language ability. He had some high frequency hearing loss early on. Per his parents, he did not speak until the age of seven. At around age twelve, he began to develop more effective communication skills. He apparently used the closed captioning on the television to learn how to read. There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, [[Bob Chandler|the patient's father]] moved them to [[Richmond]], Virginia. He went to a regular middle school and [[Manchester High School|high school]] while there. He was able to function well academically and graduated from high school in regular classes. He had a number of friends through middle and high school.

===Page 3===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P3.jpg|thumb|right|Scan of page 3.]]

Christian Chandler (003 79 67) 
Page 3 of 4 
November 5, 2004

====FAMILY HISTORY:====

The patient's [[Bob|father]] has significant [[Wikipedia:Coronary artery disease|Coronary Artery Disease]] and recently had a bypass graph done. He is 77-years-old and is retired engineer from General Electric. [[Barb|His mother]] is 65-years-old and worked in the past at a local bank. Neither of his parents or any other family members are known to have any psychiatric disease. The patient has a maternal cousin who has severe autism, although there are no other family members with developmental delays.

====MENTAL STATUS EXAM:====

The patient is a mildly [[Obesity|overweight]], white male, wearing blue jeans and a [[Chris and fashion|shirt]]. He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has [[Medallions#Prototype|a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [''sic''] characters head]]. He also had a number of “shrinky dink” decorations attached to this necklace. He had a large backpack that he carried with him and had a [[Scrapbook of Fail|notebook containing a large number of drawings]]. He showed the examiner an extensive set of [[Card games|trading cards]], which he created for his video game characters. The artwork was hand drawn and then scanned into the [[Computers|computer]] for transfer to the card. He had a number of statistics and other information on the backside of the card. The patient pointed out a series of cards that were of a video game theme, but depicted him in various difficult situations in which he has dealt with recently. He also presented the examiner with his [[business card]] containing a link to [[Sonichu.net|his website]]. His speech was somewhat nasal with frequent, awkward laughing during his sentences. His speech was fluent. His responses were appropriate to the questions posed to him. Overall, the volume of his speech was slightly elevated, although his tone was generally pleasant and almost jovial. His thought processes were linear and logical. He was somewhat concrete, especially regarding social interactions. He seemed to have good insight into his limitations. As suggested above, his thought content was largely based on his interest in Pokeman [''sic''] and sonic [''sic''] cartoons. He did not express any delusional thought content. There was perhaps an obsessional quality to [[Love Quest|his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend]], although he did not feel that this was a problem for him. He did not voice any perceptual disturbances and did not seem to be responding to internal stimuli. His impulse control appeared to be good during the interview and his judgment was fair, although social judgment was likely somewhat limited.

[[Wikipedia:Mini-mental state examination|Folstein score]] was 30/30 with his sentence being, “[[Random-access humor|Uncle Spunky is a really funky monkey.]]”

====IMPRESSION:====
Mr. Chandler is a 22-year-old man with a history of developmental delays and autism. Despite these limitations, he seems to have been [[Honor Roll|quite successful in maximizing his academic abilities]]. Despite his significant delays in language, he has over the years developed relatively affective [''sic''] communication skills. He is left, however, with a severe degree of social awkwardness and seems to have good insight into this. He is left feeling somewhat frustrated as he has a strong desire for companionship, although his social limitations prevent him from being able to realize this in the way which he would like. He has been on antidepressants for many years and it is not entirely clear what role they played. As mentioned above, there is a certain obsessional quality to his thoughts, although it is not clear that he meets criteria for an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Overall, he has a sense that the Paxil has been affective [''sic''] in tempering his frustrations and anger. His parents also feel he has benefited from it. He would possibly benefit from psychotherapy, although this would need to be tailored to his interpersonal style. Ideally this would be done in a setting tailored to patients with this sort of developmental problem. Based on the information available at this time, the patient doesn't seem to pose a significant threat to himself or anyone else. There is some suggestion that the anger control has been a problem, although how that has manifested itself is unclearly [''sic'']. He certainly has no history of physical violence which would suggest any [[October 28 2011|future]] [[26 December 2014|risk]].

===Page 4===
[[Image:CWCPsychicEvaluation11052004P4.jpg|thumb|Scan of page 4.]]

Christian Chandler (003 79 67) 
Page 4 of 4 
November 5, 2004

====DIAGNOSIS:====
[[Wikipedia:Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders#DSM-IV multi-axial_system|Axis]] I: None 
Axis II: Autistic disorder, [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV_Codes#Pervasive_developmental_disorders|299.00]] 
Axis III: None 
Axis IV: Suspension from school, social isolation 
Axis V: [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|70]] 

====PLAN:====
1. After discussing the risks, benefits, and side effects, the patient and his parents agreed to have his Paxil increased from 20 mgs. to 30 mgs. They were offered a prescription, but preferred to have this done by their primary care physician.

2. Releases of information were signed for the counselors at PVCC in case this became necessary for further evaluation purposes.

3. We will try to work with the department of rehab services to facilitate any other services that might be available for Mr. Chandler

4. The patient's parents were unsure of whether they will be following up here at the clinic in the future as there are insurance concerns which might limit this. They were, however, informed of access to emergency care and encouraged to call the clinic with any questions or concerns.

5. No follow-up appointment has been scheduled, although should they wish to continue the patient's psychiatric care at this clinic, we would be more than happy to see him.

6. The patient was seen by the attending, Dr. Zachariah Dameron, who agrees with the above-mentioned assessment and treatment plan. 

Jeff Raynor, M.D. Zachariah C. Dameron, III, M.D. 
Resident in Psychiatric Medicine Attending 

JR:ns T: 11/12/04 D: 11/11/04

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[Chris and psychology]]
*[[Chris and reality]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:PVCC Saga]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2023-09-17T18:11:00Z

Buick lesabre:

:''This article is about Chris himself... it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''
{{Transgender|MTF}}
{{Unreliable|type=cred|Chris is a [[List of Chris's lies|habitual liar]].|Chris will often exaggerate things that happened, often to [[Chris and his ego|make himself look better]].|Chris is considerably [[naïve]].|Chris's accounts on how a certain event went down will often vary with each time he recalls it.}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox Person
| title = Christian Weston Chandler
| image = 0773-CWC23.JPG
| size = 350
| name = Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–[[Christopher's name change|1992]]) Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's name change|1992]]–2016) Christine Weston Chandler (2016–present)
| aliases = Chris-Chan Chris Chan CWC [[Bob Chandler|Little C]] [[Spanish|Ricardo]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|RWC]] [[Sonichu (character)|Father]] [[Sonichu (character)|Pop]] [[Rosechu (character)|Papa]] [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] [[Liquid Chris|Solid Chris]] [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] Little Cuz [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]]<ref>[[:File:Kookydash.png]]</ref> [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] [[Facebook|Tini]] [[CWCki Forums|paintingatree]] [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|Stephanie Bustcakes]] [[Night Star]] [[CPU Blue Heart]] [[CWC Psychlight]] [[Kiwi Farms|LegendaryChristorian]] [[CWCki Forums|OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)]] [[Internet Dream Lounge|Natalie Portman]] [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Grandma Christine]] [[Sonichu (character)|Mother]] [[Sonichu (character)|Mama]] [[:File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|Princess Fehuni Hitikara]] [[Spirit possession|Sonichu]] [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Jesus Christ]] [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|Camera #000]] [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (RadioRabbit0)|Christine Chan Sonichu]] [[Jail Communications|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu]] [[Jail Letter - 9 December 2021|Jesus Christ Chan]] [[Jail Call - 13 January 2022|Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu]] The Teflon Tard [[PlayStation_Network#Post-jail_activity|Christ Chan Prime]] [[Saga#Second_Coming_(8_August_2023_-_Present)|The Second Coming]]
|month=2
|day=24
|gender=[[JERKS|Male]] (1982–2016) [[Transgender|Transwoman]] (2016–present)
|nation=[[United States|American]]
|religion="[[Chris and religion|Neo Spiritual Christianity]]"
|race=White (1/8th "[[Cherokian]]")
|label8=Height
|ft=5
|in=10
|heightsrc=<ref name=16novletter>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>
|lb=203
|weightsrc=<ref name=16novletter></ref>
|father = [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927–2011)
|mother = [[Barbara Chandler]] (1941–present)
|siblings = [[Cole Smithey]] (half-brother) [[David Alan Chandler]] (half-brother) [[Carol Chandler]] (half-sister)
|education = [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (AAS, [[CADD]])
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist ([[Lulu|self-published]]) Video game designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Musician]] ([[2003]]-[[2009]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid) Entrepreneur, [[Chris and business|Cwcville Shopping]] ([[2014]]–[[2016]]) [[Stephanie Bustcakes|Prostitute]] ([[2016]], unpaid)
|spouse = [[Cryzel Rosechu]], [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]] (m. March 2018) [[Sylvana]] Rosechu, [[Mewtwo]] (m. June 2018) and [[Pickchu]] (m. May 2022)<ref>[[:File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png]]</ref>
|titles = Sonichu Creator Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]] of the Nations of [[Cwcville]], Comma, and the [[Commodore 64|Commodore Consoles]]<ref>https://archive.fo/v5aVW</ref> The Queen of Modern Laughter<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge#Outro .281:12:27-1:16:25.29]]</ref> [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|The Real Player One]] 

}}

{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[Autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[Megan Schroeder|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with paranoia, [[Kacey Call 1|deception]], [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|blackmail]] and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], AKA Chris.<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#We've been found AND mocked horribly! :(]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on Chris.}}

'''Christine Weston Chandler''', formerly '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born: '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''; 24 February [[1982]]) is a {{Age|1982|2|24}}-year-old [[Autism|autistic]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|mentally ill]]<ref>Confirmed by placement in the [[Therapeutic Docket]].</ref> [[JERKS|misandrist]], [[Women's rights|misogynist]], former [[virgin with rage]], self-proclaimed [[CPU Blue Heart|deity]], and [[Affair with Mother|literal motherfucker]]. He is commonly referred to by his nickname '''Chris-Chan''' (properly spelled with a hyphen, though this is often omitted), by his initials '''CWC''', or simply the gender-neutral '''Chris'''. He looks kind of like a cartoon version of {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} come to life, and is considered to be one of the most well-known and well-documented lolcows in internet culture – if not one of the most well-documented people in history.

Some would consider Chris to be a celebrity, but he hasn't sold a multi-platinum [[Chris and music|album]], nor has he been awarded with an [[Chris and cinematography|Oscar]]. Instead, he is the [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', which ostensibly tells the story of an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and his [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] and their adventures with the [[Chaotic Combo]]. In practice, the webcomic really serves as [[Chris and coping#Power fantasies|wish fulfillment]] for Chris himself, allowing him to express his dissatisfaction with how [[Mary Lee Walsh|the faculty at school and college]] didn't acknowledge [[Honor roll|what he saw as an exemplary academic performance]] [[Count Graduon|when he graduated]], along with his frustration over [[Love Quest|being unable to find a romantic partner]]; as such, the book let him redirect his [[Chris and anger|anger]] toward [[Jerkop|the people who]] [[Manajerks|impeded his journey]], casting them as villains and himself as [[List of unheroic protagonist actions|a true Campbellian hero]] in his narrative. After completing his education, Chris was unemployed for most of his adult life, making a living off of [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]] and [[Patreon|donations]] from his webcomic's [[True and Loyal Fanbase]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]]-famous when images of him at [[The GAMe PLACe|a tabletop gaming store]] leaked out to the {{w|Something Awful}} message boards. Upon discovery, Chris was mocked for his [[Chris and fashion|odd fashion sense]] and [[Obesity|oafish appearance]], and images of Chris at the store soon spread to places like [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and in the process, many [[trolls]] were exposed to his webcomic for the first time, propelling Chris to stardom. Initial fascination was spurred on by his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]], his signature homemade [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] that he wore in public, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[Attraction Sign|sign]] asking women to talk to him. [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|His reaction to the ensuing mockery]] led to a cycle of [[Honest Content|Chris revealing more disturbing facts about himself]] and [[Chris and manipulation|trolls going to greater and greater lengths to uncover more knowledge about this strange individual]]. Thus, Chris's life began to spiral out of control with the advent of organized trolling, [[Chris and...|armchair psychological analysis]] from bewildered onlookers, and some truly bizarre antics from Chris that continue to this day, which would influence the development of the webcomic whenever he got around to updating it.

Chris's most notable period of activity on the internet occurred between 2007 and 2010 – a period now dubbed [[Saga#Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)|the "Classic Era"]] by modern Christorians – in which he was repeatedly catfished by trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|romantic interests]], and he lashed out against arch-enemy [[Clyde Cash]], the leader of the most notable group of trolls in his life: [[Trolls#The Miscreants|The Miscreants]]. In this time, [[Julie Reveals Herself|he was duped by]] [[BlueSpike|a sadistic 13-year-old]] [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|into stuffing his medallion up his ass]], [[Liquid Chris|he had his identity stolen by a far more talented individual]], [[Asperchu|and he had ''Sonichu'' mercilessly spoofed by a webcomic team that designed a story to piss him off]], among other misadventures. However, he eventually decided to sign off from the Internet at the end of this period, seemingly wising up to his dang dirty trolls. When he inevitably returned to the limelight a few months later in 2011, he was not the same. [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris began to experiment with crossdressing, calling himself a "Tomgirl"]], before eventually coming out as [[transgender]] in late 2014.

From here, Chris's internet life stayed relatively normal (by his standards), despite his shift in gender identity, his father's death (which led to the retirement of the Miscreants), [[28 October 2011|a hit-and-run case]], [[2014 house fire|the accident that caused his house to burn down]], and [[26 December 2014|an incident where he maced an employee at a GameStop store]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|over the color of Sonic's arms]]. Things changed when two new sets of trolls – known as the [[Idea Guys]] and the [[Teen Troon Squad]] – [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwashed]] him with increasingly-insane beliefs (such as the idea that he and both of his parents are [[Sonichu (species)|half-Sonichu]] or [[Rosechu (species)|half-Rosechu]]), culminating in [[Chris and reality|Chris's revelation]] that he was [[CPU Blue Heart|a goddess]] meant to bring about [[Dimensional Merge|a convergence of dimensions]] between [[Dimensions#C-197|the world shown in his webcomic]] and our world, effectively starting a doomsday cult around what started as a silly, self-indulgent ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'' crossover. Afterward, Chris used [[Messiah complex|this delusion]] as an elaborate [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanism while he continued his self-destructive habits.

Despite the trolls in question being driven out by the effort of the [[Guard Dogs]] trying to keep Chris from going further down a path of ruination (and to keep him from embarrassing himself any more), Chris chose to keep clinging to these unhealthy and downright absurd beliefs. All the while, Chris's [[Chris and health|physical]] and [[Chris and mental healthcare|mental health]] withered away, and [[Financhu Crisis|money became a serious issue for the Chandler household]], while Chris's mother isn't long for this world, all of which led Chris to retreat even further into his fantasies. It got to the point where [[Spirit possession|he pretended to be possessed by various fictional characters]] on a regular basis, with one nearly year-long period of "possession" by Sonichu serving as a way for Chris to cope with the fact that he wasn't able to attend [[BABSCon|two ''My Little Pony'' conventions]] that had been cancelled during the [[COVID-19]] pandemic.

The point of no return was finally crossed in [[2021]], after the [[Incest Call]] revealed that [[Affair with Mother|he had several incestuous encounters with his mother]], which forcibly evicted him from [[14 Branchland Court|his own home]] and sent him to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]], which became his most publicized incident in years. During that time, [[Jail Communications|letters from jail]] illustrate that he went even deeper into his own fantasies by believing himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus Christ}} reincarnated. Chris was later transferred to the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution for three months before returning to jail, until he was released in [[March 2023]]. Since his release, he has kept a [[Twitter#Post-jail_activity|fairly low profile online]], not engaging with people and posting content as before, though it's likely only a matter of time before Chris makes a proper return to the World Wide Web.

There has never been an internet personality quite like Chris-Chan, thanks to the unique circumstances shaping his peculiar behavior and subsequently leading to his prominence online, and there may never be another quite like him – he is truly one of a kind. It is the dedicated mission of [[CWCki|this very wiki]] to chronicle his life in ridiculous detail, and if you want to go down the seemingly bottomless rabbit hole with us, then you should probably start by reading this page. Buckle up, because this is going to be a long ride, and the end is nowhere in sight.

==Overview==
{{Protip|Chris's gender identity has been the subject of much discussion and debate since 2014. For the purpose of keeping consistent with records from before 2014, and not causing additional confusion for readers, the CWCki has opted to use masculine pronouns to describe Chris, even post-transition.

Be aware that not all Christorians accept this approach, with some opting to describe Chris exclusively with feminine pronouns after Chris identified as a transwoman, and others compromising by using gender-neutral pronouns, or pronouns applicable to various points in Chris's life reflecting Chris's gender identity at the time.

Chris's legal name is currently Christine, but the nickname Chris is gender-neutral and can abbreviate every full name Chris has identified by. Chris has accepted it as a nickname despite formerly objecting to it post-transition.

In any case, Chris is legally registered as female and has taken hormones to transition, but has not undergone gender reassignment surgery, and most likely never will.}}

{{quote|He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all.|An anonymous [[University of Virginia]] student making an observation about Chris.<ref>
[https://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html "glass house"], a post from LiveJournal user thereisbeautyin.</ref>}}

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]

Chris is a timid, autistic, self-identified [[Transgender|transwoman]] with delusional tendencies who has been allowed – by his parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] – to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his forties, Chris remains so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to societal norms. He has regularly demonstrated trouble displaying acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the law|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face [[reality]], graduation has allowed him to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities, opting instead to stick to the comfort of living at home and subsisting off of taxpayer dollars. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job (in spite of there being many social services available to help people with disabilities find work). Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Perspective on Chris's social life]]</ref>.

Chris is completely obsessed with his OC and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation; the medallion disappeared for a time, but returned in [[September 2010]]. At the same time, he was completely convinced that everyone wants to learn about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making ''Sonichu'' games is that they're either tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working for them. For a while, Chris had operated an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for $30 apiece. After the eBay shop became a mild success, he moved to Etsy, but his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.

[[File:CWC Cycle.png|thumb|right|A useful tool for predicting Christory.]]

[[File:SympathyForChris.png|thumb|left|An approximate graph which correlates knowledge about Chris to sympathy towards him.]]

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[Semen#Recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly crossdress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgments on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> His homophobia did not extend to lesbians, whom he is aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, [[Apology for past homophobic comments and homophobia.|apologized in 2015]] and supports what he calls the [[SLGBTQ]] spectrum. In [[2018]], the [[Idea Guys]] [[brainwashed]] Chris into identifying as bisexual, although it's likely that this just as much a matter of Chris coming to terms with his own sexuality as it was the result of manipulation.

His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing ''Sonichu'' into a hit media franchise to find financial success (or at least get his [[debt]]s under control), his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman. Later, Chris developed a [[Messiah complex]], believing himself to be [[Chris and religion|a reincarnation of Jesus Christ]] that is destined to facilitate a [[Dimensional Merge]] between fiction and reality.

In short, Chris's story is one that seems fated to [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|not have a happy ending]], with his life perhaps serving as a cautionary tale in the age of the internet. A tale of [[Borb|bad parenting]], [[Chris and socialization|social isolation]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|gullibility]], [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and work|laziness]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]], [[Chris and sex|sexual deviancy]], and most importantly, a tale of the world witnessing in real-time the slow, painful degradation of another human being.

==Aliases==
{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[Chris and religion|God]] [[Christopher's name change|and the bear]] [[Chris and English|has given me]] throughout my whole life. The current full name of Christian Weston Chandler, my first name being Christopher and my Spanish nickname being Ricardo. But in the end, just call me the full name, Christian Weston Chandler.|[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Chris making demands of]] [[Liquid Chris|his impostor]], years before legally changing his name to "Christine".}}

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Chris's self-portrait, complete with [[The Classic]] and [[Medallions#Sonichu Medallion|the Sonichu Medallion]], circa 2007. {{w|Ozymandias|"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"}}]]
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|right|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]" that misheard his name, which he interpreted as a sign from God. During the mid-2000s, Chris adopted the nickname "Chris-Chan", a play on his surname and the {{w|Japanese honorifics#Chan|Japanese honorific suffix ''-chan''}}, which according to Wikipedia "is used for young children, close friends, babies, grandparents and sometimes female adolescents". Chris was exposed to this honorific through [[anime]] shows like ''{{w|Crayon Shin-chan}}'' and ''{{w|Super Milk Chan}}''. The name "Chris-Chan" is often mistakenly spelled without a hyphen as "Chris Chan", as if Chris had named himself after {{w|Jackie Chan}}. [[Autism|Unusually]], before his gender transition Chris would often refer to himself by his full name, or if he was feeling especially formal as "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is [[Chris and his ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC", and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]] and [[CWC Dare]].

Shortly after declaring himself a [[transgender]] lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". Legal documents refer to him as Christine Chandler,<ref>[[:File:Trespass case 2018.png]]</ref> except for civil cases, in which he hadn't updated his name change information with plaintiffs.<ref>[[:Image:Court Record - 2019 Midland Funding Debt Case, Garnishment (Chris, GV18000451-01).png]]</ref> [[CWCki|This wiki]], however, refers to him as Chris for consistency.

[[File:Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris first identified by the name Christine in late 2014 before getting a legal name-change in 2016.]]

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and long after then he would still translate his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't replace your own name with something completely different when speaking in another language. At times he would go so far as to announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to identify himself precisely. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he usually leads with just "Christine Chandler". (Chris has never come up with a feminine counterpart to his "Ricardo" nickname, or any other Spanish-sounding replacement.)

Occasionally, Chris would use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. As Chris grew even more unhinged in 2017 and fell under the [[Idea Guys]]'s sway in 2018, he would conflate himself even further with his fantastic inventions to the point where he unofficially added "Sonichu" to the end of his name (although this is not recognized as a legal name change, unlike "Christian" or "Christine" in previous years), to account for his later belief that he is actually half-Sonichu in real life following several rounds of brainwashing. Other modern names for himself include [[CPU Blue Heart]] and [[Night Star]], his self-inserts for the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchises respectively. In contexts when he wants to be especially grandiose, he might append his various fictional alter egos to his name, much as he would list his former names in the past.

Only a few of the names commonly used to refer to Chris were not invented by Chris himself. One of the most notable ones is "Chrissy", popularized by [[YouTube#Fan archives and leaks|Arjen Van Dierten]] oddly enough, trying to mockingly feminize Chris's name seemed to predict his eventual interest in crossdressing and later interest in becoming transgender. [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], which was derived from Chris's IBAChandler [[YouTube]] account, was popularized by [[Liquid Chris]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|much to Chris's angst]]. Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of [[Metal Gear|a certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth". Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before Bob's death and/or before the [[Tomgirl Saga]], with "Modern Chris" being used to describe his more recent antics.

==Foundational Era==
===Childhood and Adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a {{w|Pogs|pog}} form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

{{quote|The most important parting words I can leave you with – well, are to always remember this. You show people where your [[Kick the Autistic|weak points]] are located, then [[Trolls|they]] will know how to [[Chris and anger|push your button]]. If you never show them, they will never know.|[[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]] giving Chris valuable advice that he, unfortunately, did not follow.}}

Christopher Weston Chandler was born on 24 February 1982 at {{w|Martha Jefferson Hospital}} in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref> His parents, [[Borb|Robert and Barbara]], worked as a engineer at Western Electric (later General Electric) and a office worker at Virginia Power, respectively. Although little is known about Chris's toddler years, the [[Autism papers]] revealed that he was delayed in his language ability, which became his first sign of [[autism]].

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a toy room at an early age after turning all the lights off, an event he described as being intensely traumatic for him.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> (Chris apparently missed the irony of the fact that he regularly locked himself in a room, surrounded by toys, for much of his adult life.) He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism (which is wishful thinking on Chris's part, considering that autism is a genetic condition that isn't triggered by external trauma). Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy, where he met his first male friend [[Joshua Martinez]]. He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> However, Chris was able to meet these cognitive milestones in time.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a pretty girl – if a [[JERKS|guy]] or an [[Mary Lee Walsh|ugly girl]] did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty, who recorded his screams,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. Chris later proclaimed that the abuse from the staff was the most traumatic experience of his life. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. While being homeschooled, the animatronic bear [[Leonard Bearstein]] misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in at [[Providence Middle School]].<ref name="Wikipedia early" />. He described his time there as pleasant, although he was often bullied by his classmates. His teacher, [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford]], taught him to develop social skills and cope with bullying, and Chris later called her the most influential person in his life.

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to the general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has also led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>
 
{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg
</gallery>}}
 
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[Semen|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu, the latter of which was created for a class project simply because he couldn't use [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted characters]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20161008083333/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> (The irony that Chris's own solution to that problem was to merge two copyrighted characters into a new character is somehow still lost on him, even to this day.) After inventing his ''magnum opus'' with the character of Sonichu, Chris began to incorporate his [[OCs|original character]] into everything that he could, although his passion for his character wouldn't truly surface until college.

Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris became despondent and stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" despite his autism, ignoring the likelihood that the artistic achievements of his peers were simply better. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult, a phase of his life that his parents had not properly prepared him for.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any other aspect of his life, and has unfortunately even regressed in several key areas as he gets older. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. [[Chris and nostalgia|Chris still pines for "better days"]] in spite of his current belief system hypothetically leaving him in a better place than he ever was in high school. As you might imagine, this is precisely because things didn't get much better for Chris after finishing school.

It has later been confirmed that Chris's high school gal-pals were either paid to be friends with Chris by his parents, or were told by teachers to be friends with Chris to give him some friends.
 
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning artwork
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.
</gallery>}}
 

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

After college and completing his education, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. He would not make any serious attempts to seek out a career from graduation onward, in spite of attaining a degree that could probably net him a decent-paying (and relatively undemanding) career that would likely grant him more opportunities than sitting at home playing video games ever could.

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her (a habit that got so bad that [[Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals|Megan later equated it to sexual harassment]]).

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue, the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. Little would Chris know, however, that his life was about to permanently change as a result writing and drawing of his magnum opus.

==Classic Era==
{{main|2007|2008|2009|2010}}

{{quote|You've wasted your life. You've wasted your life and you think you're good enough to date anyone, including me? I mean, you're frickin' weak-willed, you're not even good enough for society. You- I don't think you're ever gonna get anything, you can't fight for what you want... I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna live my life and you know what, you're gonna be doing the same thing in five years. If you're not dead.|[[Kacey]], accurately predicting how stagnant Chris's life would be after [[The End For Real (Kacey call)|breaking up with him]].}}

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]. He was duped into wearing his mom's underwear by [[Blanca Weiss]].]]
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed an unrelated conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref> Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then, and shockingly enough, Chris himself shoulders some of the blame for why that is.

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time, giving the trolls justification to continue their war against Chris in the process. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]], making [[April 16 Fetish Vids|fetish videos]] for [[Ivy]].]]

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], ironically guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would, in turn, encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses [[Honest Content|where he would reveal more information about himself]].

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general, opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals, and that any and all trolls were a vocal minority on his way to fame and fortune. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga. All the while, the editors and administrators working at Encyclopedia Dramatica and the CWCki maintained a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris could not get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: that his internet presence and the toxic cycle of exposing something about himself, getting exploited or otherwise made fun of by trolls, and reacting poorly to said trolling was having a detrimental effect upon his mental health and social life, with every new video that he created exasperating the problem. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. For a time, it looked like Chris was learning from his experiences and was making an effort to improve his own lot in life.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. It initially appeared that Chris was making a positive lifestyle change, but alas, it was quickly discovered that his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he announced retirement from social media. Instead of investing his time into more productive activities or improving on his social skills, Chris spent much more time playing video games and otherwise doing what he had been doing when he did engage with trolls. In a predictable fashion, he ultimately forgot anything that he might have learned from his experiences of [[Kick the Autistic|being one of the internet's biggest punching bags]], and he subsequently returned to making new videos starting on [[August 2011]]... Albeit with a pretty big change in how he presented himself online.

==Crossdresser Era==
{{main|2011|2012|2013|2014}}

{{quote|I Seriously Have Been [[Chris and English|PUBLICALY]] INVISIBLE for YEARS! The DAMN Trolling-Stupids have manipulated me; smeared my once good name through the worst mud, muck, and bodily fluids; mentally and emotionally raped me continuously; made the worst imaginable reputation of me on the Internet, AND relayed THAT into OFFLINE LIFE in gossip, rumors, and presidentially grand Fucked-Up Campaigns!!!|[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Damn Michael Snyder|Chris vents on Facebook]] after years of trolling take their toll.}}

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2011]] in one of the first [[Tomgirl Pictures]]. This photo was also taken near the time of his father's death.]]

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2012]].]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of crossdressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown crossdresser (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seemed to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia, transphobia, and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and became more extreme in late 2014 and the years that followed. As mentioned previously, Chris would slowly but surely walk back his anti-LGBT stances.

[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 80s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health and declining mentality are considered.

After Bob's death, Chris generally ceased interacting with trolls, seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to. Instead, Chris lapsed into a deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of the family tragedy, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the [[Chris and anger|bellicose]], [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric man-child that the world had come to know and love. For many, it became apparent that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] were over, and several moved on. The Golden Age of Chris-Chan was over.

[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]

[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2015]], cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]], AKA [[My Little Pony|DJ-PON3]].]]

Nonetheless, the surviving Chandlers still managed to be drama magnets in their own neighborhood. In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. (Chris had presumed that the store's new management meant that Snyder may no longer work there, thus giving Chris a chance to potentially revisit his old haunt. When this proved to not be the case, the both Chandlers hit Snyder with a car.) The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. Much of the money that Bob left behind was used to pay for legal expenses.

While awaiting trial, Chris was worried that he may die a virgin if he were to go to prison, and so looked for ways to have at least one sexual encounter before a worst-case scenario could come to pass. [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. Chris reneged on the "true love" part of his [[Love Quest]] and skipped straight to the point, which seemed to satisfy him in the short run but otherwise wasn't a life-changing experience for him. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]] and spent less time online than usual.

[[2013]] saw Chris's online presence more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he had left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Walmart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when an extension cord leading from the bathroom to a coffee maker in the hallway – which was placed in such a location due to the nature of Barb's compulsive hoarding habits, and had become frayed due to the constant closing of the door – sparked and [[2014 house fire|set the house on fire]].<ref>[[BraveryJerk Interviews]]</ref> While no human was seriously harmed, one of the [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Some of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Bob's huge record collection.

Chris and his mother ran into [[Chris and money|acute]] [[Debt|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|difficulties]] as a result of the house fire on top of their existing income issues, and Chris had spent most of the year alternating between begging for money and taking commissions to make more of his artwork on Facebook, and selling autographed photos of himself on eBay ([[Trolls|with it being pretty clear who most of his patrons were]]). Despite the severity of the Chandler family's financial issues, Chris chose to blow literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]] instead of working to resolve his debts. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|fans]], who purchased these items as a means to keep a roof over Chris's head.

In July, Chris was catfished once more by a new sweetheart named [[Catherine]] after meeting her through [[OKCupid]]. She met up with him in Ruckersville and surreptitiously recorded his conversations. The relationship lasted through the end of the year, and through this process, it was learned that Chris [[Un-clit|pierced his taint]], with other media tied to Chris's life leaking as Catherine and cooperating trolls uncovered more details about his then-current life and mindset.

[[Transgender|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of pickles in general. Chris also took up swanning around attending LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingled with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before Chris would make a more serious commitment to his lifestyle change when he officially began to transition.

==Transgender Era==

{{main|2014|2015|2016|2017}}

{{quote|The future shock... Me? Actually a woman? It is a lot to process. But as I recall my past, I remember in high school, my habits and nature were recognized as most feminine. And in comparing it to my experiences with the masculine, I find I actually don't like such brutish things. And looking deep in my heart and soul, [[Chris and gender|I actually find I feel more woman than the male I was born as.]] And the more I open myself to that [[Chris and English|plausible]]... I truly feel more at peace with myself. [[Chris and his ego|I love me.]] '''[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]'''|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris's fictionalized counterpart]] explaining his philosophy before becoming [[transgender]] in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]].}}

[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]].]]

In early December 2014, Chris informed those closest to him to start referring him with female pronouns, indicating his desire to go from being a crossdresser to becoming transgender. This era started with a bang when, in December, Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. On top of this, Chris subsequently caused another ruckus at Walmart, just in case you started feeling bad for him after being duped by yet another fake girlfriend. Chris ultimately spent a night in the slammer, and following a lengthy legal process, got off with a $541 fine and a six-month suspended sentence.

More generally, 2015 saw Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon hedgehog]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He indicated in several Facebook posts that he was still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; for some time, he yo-yoed between wanting to remain a crossdresser and wanting to transition into womanhood.

Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016:

{| class="wikitable"
|Original
|Sequel
|-
|[[Recycling]]
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
|-
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]
|-
|[[Carlos Chantor]]
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
|[[Un-clit]]
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]
|}

[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]

In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards of things that they could sell were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".

His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.

[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]

In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay a debt to Mariner Finance.

Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.

He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.

A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].

Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.

Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame]]. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.

==Goddess Era==

{{main|2017|2018|2019|2020|2021}}

{{quote|I, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], have tried and kept on and continuing on until that day in the new [[COVID-19|Pandemic-Free]] version of this, the Omega Timeline – 'cause I'm going back in time with this body, after I get back to [[Dimensions#C-197|C-197]] – finally return this body to mama in the new timeline at [[BABSCon]]. I tell you all, as overpowered a soul I am – in my own body that I was used to and accustomed with and everything – I, Sonichu, am unable to do Mama's job as good as only she, our OG Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, of [[Dimensions#1218|Earths 1218]] and C-197, can do. [[Chris and work|This work]], [[Obesity|her body]], [[Chris and mental healthcare|her brain]], [[Chris and reality|her Goddess-level overpowers and abilities]]; [[PsychicPowers|they're all literally tailored and custom-made only for her]]... [[Messiah complex|All praise, prayers, and power to our Goddess of 1218 and C-197: Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu!]]|Chris, [[Spirit possession|pretending to be Sonichu]], [[Goochland Library Sermon|completely going off of the deep end]] while talking about the [[Dimensional Merge]].}}

[[File:CWC 11 February 2019.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in 2019 with [[Lego|a custom LEGO minifigure]] representing his [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|godsona]], [[CPU Blue Heart]].]]

After [[Heart level|having his heart shattered]] yet again, another troll, the [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by role-playing as his [[imaginary friends]] and convincing him that he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension, which Chris accepted out of having his fantasy world validated; along the way, another Idea Guy joined with the first. Together, they used their influence over Chris's beliefs to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash Chris into believing several things about himself]], such as the idea that he was [[bisexual]] and half-Sonichu, which ultimately culminated in Chris developing a [[Messiah complex]] derived from [[Dimensions|his own delusions about the nature of reality]] and the lore of ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.

[[File:Praetor5.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2020, moments before [[Goochland Library Sermon|giving a sermon]] of the allegedly imminent [[Dimensional Merge]].]]

When it was learned that the Idea Guys were extorting Chris, who was already facing financial difficulties, [[The Captain]] and [[Marvin]] intervened, forcing the Idea Guys out from Chris's life over the course of the subsequent months, however Chris retained much of the Idea Guys' brainwashing. The Captain, Marvin, and [[Null]] a group termed by onlookers as the [[Guard Dogs]], attempted to protect Chris from further bad actors by screening his messages, however, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] managed to evade them by meeting with Chris in person. The Guard Dogs alleged them to have role-played as Chris's imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] and Chris's retreated more into his fantasy world while under their enabling influence, although they stopped contacting Chris when they saw what happened to the Idea Guys.

Chris repeatedly denounced the Idea Guys for financially exploiting him, but the damage was done to his psyche: Chris bought into the fantasy that he was a goddess as a new coping mechanism, and his already-shaky grasp on reality hit rock bottom. Chris's new beliefs led him to seek a hippie makeover befitting of his supposed [[PsychicPowers|psychic prowess]], and he retreated further into his fantasies, generally refusing to engage with people who wouldn't entertain them. Chris eventually turned on Null, thanks to the influence of other trolls – chief among them, [[Jacob Sockness]], who sought to sexually exploit Chris. The Guard Dogs realized that there was nothing that they could do for a Chris who refused to listen, and disbanded, but a new group, known as the [[Watchmen]] (who [[Enablers|enabled some of Chris's fantasies]] out of pragmatism), sought to keep Chris from further embarrassing or endangering himself, successfully getting him away from Sockness before he could do any harm to Chris.

Throughout all of this, Chris's belief in the Dimensional Merge has not wavered. When it didn't arrive on the prophesized date of {{w|Jonestown|November 18, 2018}}, Chris did what all doomsday cultists and religious fundamentalists did whenever the apocalypse didn't happen: push it back again and again. Not helping matters was the advent of [[COVID-19]], which Chris saw as a sign of the Dimensional Merge's progress alongside all the other insane crap that happened in the year 2020. For Chris, things really took a turn for the worse when [[BABSCon]] got canceled, and he began an elaborate coping scheme to [[Spirit possession|live-action roleplay as Sonichu]] until he could attend ''[[My Little Pony]]'' conventions again, which will not happen until 2022 at the earliest. Chris spent nearly eleven months pretending to be his [[OCs|original character]], with very few interruptions, before eventually reverting to being himself again on 25 February 2021, [[KwaiiSandbag calls|thanks to the intervention of an enabler]], to personally oppose news about the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' G5 reboot.

During this time, Chris's appearance visibly aged significantly, with his hair turning grey. He's also seemingly lost a bit of weight, not due to improving his diet and leading a less sedentary lifestyle, but due to a decline in muscular mass. This is likely a result of the effects of the hormones that he has applied to treat his gender dysphoria, alongside his declining physical health due to his various poor life decisions. In addition to his existing health problems, he's also [[Chris and drugs|taken up drinking to excess and even smoking weed on occasion]], which both do his so-called "overpowered" goddess body absolutely no favors. Compared to [[Megan Schroeder]], who is four years younger than he is and currently looks pretty close to how she did in photographs with Chris about thirteen years ago, Chris now looks like he could now pass for her aunt or uncle. Chris also continued to be influenced by enablers such as [[Larry Vaughn]], [[KwaiiSandbag]], and [[Praetor]], the last of which is a group that seeks to exploit his infamy for sales revenue. The [[Watchmen]], an enabler/white knight group, splintered following internal conflict among its members.

==Downfall Era==
{{main|2021|2022|Affair with Mother|Jail Saga}}

{{quote|So there you go, chat: the [[Dimensional Merge]] is happening right fucking now! Chris, our boy Chris, bravo! Bravo, brave young man! I guess you could say, uh, that [[Chris and sex#Incest|he really, really came into his own]]. And in case it's not already fucking obvious, [[Jail Saga|Chris is going to jail]]. So we'll see how that works out. Best of luck Chris! [[It's UGH!|Don't drop the soap]], buddy. The world you lived in was just a fantasyland, but [[Chris and reality|reality]]... Reality is [[Affair with Mother|a motherfucker]].|A deepfake of Mister Metokur, made prior to Chris spending two years behind bars and dealing with the legal system.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saeC2T4Be8k</ref>}}

[[File:Arrestchu.jpeg|thumb|right|400px|[[Incest Arrest|Chris's arrest at a motel]], filmed by fellow lolcow [[Ethan Ralph|Ethan "The Gunt" Ralph]].]]

[[File:2021_Chris_Chan_mugshot_2.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in 2021 after being arrested, [[Naïve|naïvely]] anticipating a short stay in the slammer. {{w|Psycho (1960 film)|"Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly!"}}]]

After nearly a decade of a slow downward spiral in nearly all aspects of Chris's life following Bob's death, his future did not look particularly bright. By 2021, Chris had largely reduced his online activities to posting long [[Twitter]] threads of faux-philosophical ramblings reflecting his New Age Retro Hippie mindset, which bordered on being incomprehensible or [[Enablers|esoteric]]. At the same time, the Chandler family's debt steadily rose, largely due to Barb and her son's poor spending habits. In the extremely likely event that Chris outlives Barb, it was speculated that the situation would get worse for Chris with nobody to ground him in reality, along with the increased possibility that he could become homeless if he were to be evicted. Not to mention that Chris was virtually unemployable in any career after years of having every detail about his past leak out to the internet, and he hadn't made a real effort to get a job since his attempt to win [[Kacey]]'s heart, after his short-lived stints working at [[Wendy's|fast food joints]] or in [[Cutco|multi-level marketing]].

[[File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2022]], after being returned to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. This is what nine months behind bars does to [[Chris and sex#Incest|a motherfucker]].]]

However, there was fleetingly a period in which there was a greater degree of hope for Chris. Chris successfully reconciled with [[Null]], who eventually helped organize a trip for Chris so that he could attend [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention, on the condition that [[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW|Chris would complete commission work in exchange for his donations]]. Null believed this was a worthy effort to see if he could sustain himself as an adult through self-employment, particularly ahead of Barb's death. Chris actually kept up with these obligations, doing a considerable amount of work compared to previous months of less output, while appearing to get a good degree of satisfaction out of his work, on top of making it a semi-stable career out of it. All seemed relatively normal for Chris as far as the post-Idea Guys status quo went, and some fans anticipated the possibility that Chris, now upset about MLP G5, would do something amusing at the convention as he prepared for the trip, just like old times. Chris also informed Null, [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], several members of [[The Knights of CWC]], and [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that he was having a romantic relationship with an older woman, giving all of them various hints to her identity.

What happened next turned everything completely on its head. Chris would not, in fact, be going to Everfree Northwest. He would not be going to any future convention, for that matter, as the point of no return was finally passed after years of online infamy.

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|thumb|right|400px|[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|Chris spent time in protected custody during his jail stay.]] (Unlike this depiction, Barb obviously did not visit Chris due to the restraining order.)]]

On the night of 27 July 2021, Chris initiated a video call with Bella. He bragged to her about [[Affair with Mother|sexual acts that he committed with his own mother]] – a felony – over the course of several weeks. Bella partially recorded the call when Chris began speaking of those actions. He also [[Incest Texts|texted her with more details]]. Bella shared the files with her friends, and those circulated and were publicly leaked on 30 July.

While trolls joked about Chris potentially committing incest before, few actually believed that he was capable of acting on those impulses and taking advantage of an elderly (and possibly senile) woman. Once these details got out, nothing would ever be the same: he and Barb were separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], he had to vacate his only home due to a week-long protective order, he was very quickly banned from the convention that he'd hoped to attend, and his [[Patreon]] account – one of his few real sources of income – was taken down. Null quickly washed his hands of Chris for good, not only after learning that the audio leak was legitimate, but also when he realized that Chris effectively stole approximately $750 from Barb to [[Toys|fund his stay at a hotel]].

[[File:Chris_mugshot_27_March_2023.png|thumb|left|150px|Chris in [[2023]], at the end of his stay in jail. Note [[Obesity|the weight loss]] compared to his first mugshot and Chris's improved mood compared to his second.]]

Chris was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] on 1 [[August 2021]], an event which was live-streamed by [[Post-Merge Era|multiple orbiters]]. The incest revelation and the ensuing drama resulted in several people associated with Chris cutting ties with him – such as [[Don Lashomb]], [[The WCT]], and [[the Suitress]]. Other people continue to interact with Chris such as [[Kenneth Engelhardt]], [[Caden Peck]], [[Helena Fiorenza]], and [[Eels and the Eggman]]. Chris's actions during this time trended on social media, leading less internet-savvy netizens to either discover Chris for the first time or to rediscover him after years of fading into obscurity. The massive social media reaction to the news led to Chris's actions being covered by various news outlets – most notably, a dedicated segment on Fox News's ''Tucker Carlson Tonight'', the most popular show on the network at the time, which in turn exposed him to millions of retired, right-wing baby boomers.

Chris spent the next several months in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] after being arrested by the Henrico County sheriff's department, awaiting a court hearing set for 28 [[July 2022]], following three continuances. While waiting in jail, Chris's [[Messiah complex|delusions of godhood]] have spiraled out of control as he now believes himself to be {{w|Jesus|Jesus of Nazareth}} reincarnated and the [[Dimensional Merge]] to be proceeding entirely as planned. During this time, Chris has kept in touch with the outside world via a multitude of [[Jail Communications]] discussing a variety of subjects, from his jail conditions to [[Chris and religion|his renewed interest in the Bible]] and [[Weening|ween]] attempts to convert him to Islam through reading the Qur'an. These letters and phone calls have also revealed that Chris has been kept in protective custody for his own safety.

Early into [[March 2022]], it was learned that Chris was transferred out of jail into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution. During this time, Chris was isolated from the outside world; what he was up to while there will most likely remain unknown until his next hearing. He returned to [[CVRJ]] on [[May 2022|3 May 2022]], with a new mugshot taken upon his arrival, showing that Chris looks much more gaunt than before and has lost a substantial amount of weight. Unfortunately, subsequent mail correspondence indicates that his time away from jail has not caused him to face reality, sticking to his fantasies.

On 28 [[July 2022]], only a day before the first anniversary of the leaking of the infamous incest call, Chris finally had his court hearing after three delays. In the process, it was determined that the case would be going before a grand jury for at least one felony incest charge. However, Chris's lawyer filed a motion for autism disorder deferred deposition. Following months of [[CWCki|excessive]] [[Kiwi Farms|online]] [[Orbiter Wave|interest]] in the case, Chris's lawyer eventually managed to convince the court to seal the case on 11 [[August 2022]], with "waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" added to his case file. The exact meaning of these legal maneuvers remains unknown.

==Post-Incarceration Era==
{{main|2023|Post-jail sightings (2023)|Saga#Second Coming (8 August 2023 - Present)}}

{{quote|BEWARE ALL TOXIC [[Weening|HATERS]], [[Chris and religion#Sin|SINNERS]], AND [[Trolls#The Miscreants|DARKEST DEMONICS]], FOR I AM [[Messiah complex#Jesus Reborn|Jesus]] [[Transgender|Christine]] Weston Chandler [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], the [[CPU Blue Heart|Goddess Blue Heart]], and [[Chris and his ego|your lord and god]]. AND I BRING, PERSONALLY, [[Saga#Second Coming (8 August 2023 - Present)|THE SECOND COMING]].|From [[:File:Holy jesus christ chan sonichu prime by nightstarrosechu2891 dg6od4d-414w-2x.jpg|"Holy Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime"]], [[DeviantART#Post-jail|posted on DeviantART]] in August 2023.}}

[[File:F5IE7YqWwAALxJz.jpg|thumb|Free as fuck.]]

The [[Jail Saga]] seemed to fit very nicely as the culmination to Chris's story before he faded into obscurity, [[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|nicely coinciding with Chris's foreshadowing that his entire timeline would be thrown in chaos]], and [[Abusive babysitter|bookending his story with a period where he had to sit alone in a dark room all day]] – this time behind a cell instead of [[Chris's room|a room full of toys]]. Surely after [[Saga|14 years of lolcow adventures]], Chris spending much of the rest of his life incarcerated was a fitting end. In the event that he got released, he would find his life is absolutely ruined, with him destined to remain off the internet forever, perhaps even homeless, until [[Chris and Death#Chris himself (1982–)|the day he dies]].

[[Weening|Though every good story needs a sequel, right?]]

After spending around two years in jail, the internet was shocked when it was announced that Chris was suddenly released on 27 [[March 2023]]. VineLink initially reported that he was bonded out<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref> before updating their files to say he was released by court order.<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref> The exact circumstances leading to Chris's release from incarceration remain unclear at this time.

Silence ensued for the entire month of [[April 2023]]. In the months after [[May 2023]], Chris started [[Post-jail sightings (2023)|getting spotted around Chesterfield County, Virginia]] doing random activities, such as shopping and playing card games. In a few sightings, Chris was seen with a new [[Medallions#Mark V|Sonichu Medallion]], waning away some hope that Chris had actually improved. Any remaining hope disappeared when Chris [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Earthbound Trading Company|signed a receipt]] as "[[Messiah complex#Jesus Reborn|J. Christ Chan Sonichu]]".

Through out the entire month of [[August 2023]], after Chris's incest case being set to "Resolved Order Pending",<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 8 August 2023.png]]</ref> Chris started [[Saga#Incognito_Saga_(10_August_2023_-_3_September_2023)|rapidly becoming active in random places of the internet]], progressively setting new mile stones, and receiving a surprisingly warm [[Enablers|Enabler]]/[[White-Knighting|White-Knight]]-filled [[Twitter#Post-jail activity|welcome back]].

On the 23rd of August, Chris made his [[DeviantART#Post-jail|first post-jail social media posts]] on DeviantART as he [[Mass debating|mass]]-posted unseen art made during his period of inactivity, new work on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], and custom [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]] cards.

Just two days later, Chris's incest case was entirely dismissed, officially making Chris a free man.<ref>[[:File:Court Record - Greene Circuit Court - Incest - (Chris, CR22000141-00) - 25 August 2023.png]]</ref> He was later spotted at [[14 Branchland Court]]. The house was [[Fan_visits#Aggravating_Art_(2023)|seen empty]] a few days later.

As of right now, Chris remains at large, but is mostly keeping to himself as outsiders continue peering into his strange life.

==Featured Fan Videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| ytid = DxAhBoYfWy4
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan ~ Ruler of Everything
| ytid = Wul6LgL8FvI
| Stardate = 4 March 2021
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIbrqVkPdL_5qrgjwHYytQg First Son]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan sings Without Me by Eminem
| ytid = 6XYhN2t7RDk
| Stardate = 28 August 2023
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/@ChristianAndTheHedgehogBoys AI Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] – Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] – Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:Christianchandler]] – Chris's own CWCki account

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
{{References}}

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the {{w|Internet Movie Database}}

{{Newbie}}
{{Check this out}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}
[[Category:Articles with Jail Saga speculation]]
[[Category:Chris]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]
[[Category:Autistic]]
[[Category:LGBT]]

Chris Chan VS. The Internet

2023-06-06T03:03:53Z

Buick lesabre:

{{quote|[[Megan]] actually wanted to be reunited with Chris because she thought it was gonna be fun, but the director went against it because it was gonna be too corny and forced|[[Geno Samuel]]<ref name=geno>[[:File:Geno on Draft docu.png]]</ref>}}

[[File:Draft Interview hard drive.jpg|thumb|right|The remains of the hard drive containing the film.]]

'''''Chris Chan VS. The Internet''''' is a cancelled and (presumed) lost documentary film directed by film student Joseph Draft, which would've focused on the current condition of [[Chris]] and the [[Chris and reality|long-term effects]] that [[internet]] [[troll]]ing has had on his mental state. The trailer and a leaked minute from the opening are the only known surviving portions of the film, and as of [[November 2020]], the film remains in limbo, if not outright lost.

According to [[Naught]], the mostly-completed film was later destroyed by Draft out of [[stress]] over film cuts and infighting with some of his collaborators.<ref name=stress>[[Official CWCki Server chats (Naught)#Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]</ref> Naught also claimed that Draft face-doxed himself after a 4-hour conversation once the drive was destroyed.<ref>[[Naught#History]]</ref>

==History==
[[File:Geno on Draft footage.png|thumb|[[Geno Samuel]] talks about what could have been.]]
[[File:Geno on Draft docu.png|thumb]]

When first announced, the documentary garnered significant criticism from [[Kiwi Farms]] due to its announcement being through a [[Kickstarter]] page via a tweet from Chris, and having a funding goal of $20,000, which Kiwi Farms members argued as being too high considering the film was stated as being completed.{{cite}} The description on the Kickstarter page<ref>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdraft/chris-chan-vs-the-internet</ref> initially had very little information on the documentary and no breakdown of how the $20,000 of the budget would be used, which led to much speculation on how the money would be spent and how much may be for profit. The page was eventually updated and described that the film had been completed (to a point), included new interviews with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris, new interviews with [[Megan Schroeder]] and that the purpose of the Kickstarter was to conduct additional interviews with the Chandlers and also with various YouTubers who discuss Chris such as [[Geno Samuel]] (known for ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'') and Sachumo (known for his 2015 [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|documentary]] and [[Sachumo Interview|2017 interview]] of Chris).

Kiwi Farms user CMCW posted in a thread about the project, claiming to be involved with it and wanting to do a Q&A. However, despite CMCW answering several questions, several Kiwi Farms members remained hostile towards the project and its creators.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Chris Chan Vs the Internet]]</ref> The Kickstarter for the film was abruptly cancelled on 6 [[April 2019]], only two days after its announcement.

According to [[Geno Samuel]], Megan actually wanted to reunite with Chris in person; however, Draft vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced".<ref name=geno></ref> According to [[Naught]], eventually, Megan changed her mind on being included in the film, and requested her inclusion be cut.<ref name=stress></ref> Naught also claimed that the stress over the matters led Draft to give up on the project,<ref name=stress></ref> and eventually destroy a hard drive containing the only known copy of the film. Draft also feared that the hostility surrounding the film would also lead to him getting [[dox]]xed, so he did the job himself.<ref>[[:File:Joseph Draft KF.jpg]]</ref>

According to Geno, "Joe's buddy who saw the footage said they got lots of footage of Chris belching and screaming in public, and was all giddy about it".<ref>[[:File:Geno on Draft footage.png]]</ref>

As of [[June 2023]], the film has yet to surface online, so it can be presumed that if it isn't sitting in cloud storage or on a hard drive somewhere, then the unused footage has been lost entirely.

==Mentions by Chris==
{{quote|You all could have had this genuine and heart-felt gem, but you’ve had to shoot yourselves in the freaking feet by spamming hatred like a bunch of beheaded chickens or ”World War Z” Zombies.|Chris expressing his disappointment over the cancellation.<ref name=sept20>[[September 2020 social media posts#Chris Chan VS The Internet cancellation rant]]</ref>}}

On 20 [[September 2020]], Chris, having discovered a mirror of the trailer on YouTube, left a comment thanking the uploader for archiving it.<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Chris Chan VS. The Internet Trailer (Cancelled Kickstarter Documentary by Joseph Draft)]]</ref> Chris later posted his thoughts on it to Twitter.<ref name=sept20></ref> In the tweets, he confirmed that the female voice heard near the end belonged to Megan, and accused trolls of "spamming hatred" and thus getting the documentary cancelled. Viewing the trailer also sparked Chris into having an emotional breakdown over Megan, which he chatted about in [[The Place]].<ref>[[The Place chats - Megan Obsession]]</ref>

== Kickstarter trailer ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan VS The Internet by Joseph Draft — Kickstarter''
| ytid = dGekFLTbeos
| Stardate = 4 April 2019
| Subject = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rage|[[Chris and anger|Chris's Anger]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Comics|text}}
| Video Type = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see a shot of a [[The Hook Cafe|C-Ville Weekly]] vending box in the city, and a shot of a [[Ruckersville]] entrance sign.'']

'''Chris''': [''audio reused from [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|this video]]''] Hello. I record this message, in re...in response to the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has been against me...

[''Chris is seen placing a tray of markers on a table, then begins drawing [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on a piece of paper with a black ballpoint pen.'']

'''Chris''': Every detail...on that heinous page, against me, is all a pack of lies.

[''A montage of Chris walking through a woodland, selecting [[Chris and art|a pack of Crayola markers]] at a store, drinking coffee plays. Chris is then seen hugging one of [[Clover and Snoopy|the beagles]] while the other bays in the background'']

'''Barbara''': [''narrating''] At first, he couldn’t talk. So, he was...err...trained with a speech therapist. His behavior was not normal.

'''Barbara''': [''on-screen''] I...wasn't aware of...err...all what was going on, at first.

[''Chris breathes outdoors with his eyes closed, then the film's title appears, followed by a shot of Megan (from behind) in an antique shop'']

'''Megan''': Now, he...he seems like a totally different person to me.

== Leaked Opening ==
On 12 July 2020, a phone recording of the intro to the documentary was leaked, featuring Chris walking through the woods while singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled|You've Been Trolled]]" and shots of some of his toys.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan vs the internet opening clip''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G6uEMpBxFu0}}
| Stardate = 12 July 2020
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "The following film is true... and honest".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] walking in a forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "A film by Joseph Draft".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] singing the lyrics to the song'' "You've been trolled" ''while continuing to walk in the forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Christine Chandler" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing can still be heard.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "[[Barbara Chandler]]" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing continues.'']

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] finishes the song while looking at the camera.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Chris Chan VS. The Internet".]

[''A montage of Chris's [[MLP]] and [[Legos]] toys along with the [[Sonichu Plush]].'']

==See also==
*[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]
*[[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)]]
*[[Chris in the media]]
*[[Kickstarter]]

{{References}}
{{WatchmenSaga}}
{{Documentaries}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Lost Media]]
[[Category:Documentaries]]

Chris Chan VS. The Internet

2023-06-06T03:02:02Z

Buick lesabre:

{{quote|[[Megan]] actually wanted to be reunited with Chris because she thought it was gonna be fun, but the director went against it because it was gonna be too corny and forced|[[Geno Samuel]]<ref name=geno>[[:File:Geno on Draft docu.png]]</ref>}}

[[File:Draft Interview hard drive.jpg|thumb|right|The remains of the hard drive containing the film.]]

'''''Chris Chan VS. The Internet''''' is a cancelled and (presumed) lost documentary film directed by film student Joseph Draft, which would've focused on the current condition of [[Chris]] and the [[Chris and reality|long-term effects]] that [[internet]] [[troll]]ing has had on his mental state. The trailer and a leaked minute from the opening are the only known surviving portions of the film, and as of [[November 2020]], the film remains in limbo, if not outright lost.

According to [[Naught]], the mostly-completed film was later destroyed by Draft out of [[stress]] over film cuts and infighting with some of his collaborators.<ref name=stress>[[Official CWCki Server chats (Naught)#Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]</ref> Naught also claimed that Draft face-doxed himself after a 4-hour conversation once the drive was destroyed.<ref>[[Naught#History]]</ref>

==History==
[[File:Geno on Draft footage.png|thumb|[[Geno Samuel]] talks about what could have been.]]
[[File:Geno on Draft docu.png|thumb]]

When first announced, the documentary garnered significant criticism from [[Kiwi Farms]] due to its announcement being through a [[Kickstarter]] page via a tweet from Chris, and having a funding goal of $20,000, which Kiwi Farms members argued as being too high considering the film was stated as being completed.{{cite}} The description on the Kickstarter page<ref>https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdraft/chris-chan-vs-the-internet</ref> initially had very little information on the documentary and no breakdown of how the $20,000 of the budget would be used, which led to much speculation on how the money would be spent and how much may be for profit. The page was eventually updated and described that the film had been completed (to a point), included new interviews with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris, new interviews with [[Megan Schroeder]] and that the purpose of the Kickstarter was to conduct additional interviews with the Chandlers and also with various YouTubers who discuss Chris such as [[Geno Samuel]] (known for ''[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]'') and Sachumo (known for his 2015 [[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)|documentary]] and [[Sachumo Interview|2017 interview]] of Chris).

Kiwi Farms user CMCW posted in a thread about the project, claiming to be involved with it and wanting to do a Q&A. However, despite CMCW answering several questions, several Kiwi Farms members remained hostile towards the project and its creators.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Chris Chan Vs the Internet]]</ref> The Kickstarter for the film was abruptly cancelled on 6 [[April 2019]], only two days after its announcement.

According to [[Geno Samuel]], Megan actually wanted to reunite with Chris in person; however, Draft vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced".<ref name=geno></ref> According to [[Naught]], eventually, Megan changed her mind on being included in the film, and requested her inclusion be cut.<ref name=stress></ref> Naught also claimed that the stress over the matters led Draft to give up on the project,<ref name=stress></ref> and eventually destroy a hard drive containing the only known copy of the film. Draft also feared that the hostility surrounding the film would also lead to him getting [[dox]]xed, so he did the job himself.<ref>[[:File:Joseph Draft KF.jpg]]</ref>

According to Geno, "Joe's buddy who saw the footage said they got lots of footage of Chris belching and screaming in public, and was all giddy about it".<ref>[[:File:Geno on Draft footage.png]]</ref>

As of [[June 2023]], the film has yet to surface online, so it can be presumed that if it isn't sitting on a cloud service or other hard drive somewhere, then the film has been lost.

==Mentions by Chris==
{{quote|You all could have had this genuine and heart-felt gem, but you’ve had to shoot yourselves in the freaking feet by spamming hatred like a bunch of beheaded chickens or ”World War Z” Zombies.|Chris expressing his disappointment over the cancellation.<ref name=sept20>[[September 2020 social media posts#Chris Chan VS The Internet cancellation rant]]</ref>}}

On 20 [[September 2020]], Chris, having discovered a mirror of the trailer on YouTube, left a comment thanking the uploader for archiving it.<ref>[[List of Chris's comments on YouTube#Chris Chan VS. The Internet Trailer (Cancelled Kickstarter Documentary by Joseph Draft)]]</ref> Chris later posted his thoughts on it to Twitter.<ref name=sept20></ref> In the tweets, he confirmed that the female voice heard near the end belonged to Megan, and accused trolls of "spamming hatred" and thus getting the documentary cancelled. Viewing the trailer also sparked Chris into having an emotional breakdown over Megan, which he chatted about in [[The Place]].<ref>[[The Place chats - Megan Obsession]]</ref>

== Kickstarter trailer ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan VS The Internet by Joseph Draft — Kickstarter''
| ytid = dGekFLTbeos
| Stardate = 4 April 2019
| Subject = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Music|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rage|[[Chris and anger|Chris's Anger]]}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Comics|text}}
| Video Type = {{Fanart|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[''We see a shot of a [[The Hook Cafe|C-Ville Weekly]] vending box in the city, and a shot of a [[Ruckersville]] entrance sign.'']

'''Chris''': [''audio reused from [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|this video]]''] Hello. I record this message, in re...in response to the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page that has been against me...

[''Chris is seen placing a tray of markers on a table, then begins drawing [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on a piece of paper with a black ballpoint pen.'']

'''Chris''': Every detail...on that heinous page, against me, is all a pack of lies.

[''A montage of Chris walking through a woodland, selecting [[Chris and art|a pack of Crayola markers]] at a store, drinking coffee plays. Chris is then seen hugging one of [[Clover and Snoopy|the beagles]] while the other bays in the background'']

'''Barbara''': [''narrating''] At first, he couldn’t talk. So, he was...err...trained with a speech therapist. His behavior was not normal.

'''Barbara''': [''on-screen''] I...wasn't aware of...err...all what was going on, at first.

[''Chris breathes outdoors with his eyes closed, then the film's title appears, followed by a shot of Megan (from behind) in an antique shop'']

'''Megan''': Now, he...he seems like a totally different person to me.

== Leaked Opening ==
On 12 July 2020, a phone recording of the intro to the documentary was leaked, featuring Chris walking through the woods while singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled|You've Been Trolled]]" and shots of some of his toys.
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = ''Chris Chan vs the internet opening clip''
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G6uEMpBxFu0}}
| Stardate = 12 July 2020
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
}}

===Transcript===

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "The following film is true... and honest".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] walking in a forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "A film by Joseph Draft".]

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] singing the lyrics to the song'' "You've been trolled" ''while continuing to walk in the forest.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Christine Chandler" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing can still be heard.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "[[Barbara Chandler]]" ''while the audio of [[Chris]] singing continues.'']

[''(on screen) [[Chris]] finishes the song while looking at the camera.'']

[''Black screen with white text displaying'' "Chris Chan VS. The Internet".]

[''A montage of Chris's [[MLP]] and [[Legos]] toys along with the [[Sonichu Plush]].'']

==See also==
*[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History]]
*[[Chris Chan Documentary (Sachumo)]]
*[[Chris in the media]]
*[[Kickstarter]]

{{References}}
{{WatchmenSaga}}
{{Documentaries}}
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Lost Media]]
[[Category:Documentaries]]

CADD

2023-05-18T00:01:41Z

Buick lesabre:

{{quote|When Chris still attended church, one of the churchgoers had connections with a business that did a lot of CADD work and told him to submit his resume. You know, the shit he went to school for and is so unbearably proud of? Well, his excuse later was that the business was too far from him. At most, maybe 20 minutes away.|[[Emily]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-84#post-3415817</ref>}}

[[Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|Chris's Associate in Applied Science with CADD emphasis. "The Associate in Applied Science degree is awarded to students who are permitted to relax some of the general education requirements in order to study more course work in their program area. This kind of degree is for students who intend to enter the workforce upon graduation."|thumb]]
[[Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|Chris's CADD certificate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]|thumb]]

'''CADD''' stands for "Computer-Aided Drafting and Design". It is a college degree which provides career development in the use of computers to create and analyze designs. For Chris, however, this degree has provided no real-world benefits whatsoever, other than giving him something else to brag about to boyfriend-free girls.

==Chris's CADD degree==
Chris graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with an Associate in Applied Science degree and a CADD certificate in May of [[2006]]. Chris admitted in his [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]] that he entered into the CADD program without knowing what kind of jobs such a certificate could get him. Throughout his years at [[PVCC]], and in the years since graduating, he still hasn't bothered to figure it out. If [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] were still among us and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] still cared about anything, they'd be kicking themselves for wasting money on his tuition.

CADD at PVCC was designed as a two-year degree, but it took Chris five years to complete it, not including the year in which he was suspended from college. The CADD certificate itself only required four courses, or one semester of work. The remaining credit requirements were to be met with major-related requirements and a few general education classes. Chris would have needed extensive consultation with his advisor in the CADD program. In addition to this advising, Chris had at his disposal two CADD labs, a Career Services department, web-posted job openings, and links to relevant external sites. None of this could overcome Chris's general apathy and confusion about entering the world of work.<ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/]]</ref><ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]]</ref>

Despite the inordinate amount of time it took Chris to obtain this degree, and the amount that Chris talks about it, he only ever produced two pieces of work. While one might assume that they were two large projects produced over a long amount of time, the two designs he produced were a map of [[CWCville_Shopping_Center|his mall]] and an incredibly large [[CWCville Mayoral Office|Mayor's Office]] about the size of a football field with nothing much inside it. The mall contains a two-story Pokemon center and numerous stores where one can buy and play with games and toys, as well as restaurants that mostly sell [[Chris_and_nutrition|junk food]]. The mayor's office is supposed to be in the mall but is nowhere to be found in his diagram. This cyclopean structure contains several rooms over 100 feet long containing very few objects, with a table around 20 feet in length in the middle. It contains few doors for a building of its size, and some hallways are fully inaccessible.

Chris claims that he received an A+ for these projects which took him "weeks to months" to complete.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref> However, he has also admitted indirectly that one of his CADD professors, Dr. Kene C.U. Meniru, gave him a failing grade at some point. Typically, Chris could only assume that this criticism was completely unjustified, and that Dr. Meniru was entirely malicious. Dr. Meniru would appear as the [[CADD Chef]] in Sonichu #5 which Chris was drawing in the month of his graduation.

The Associate's Degree in CADD is no longer offered by [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<ref>[http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/pvcc-drops-programs-amid-state-budget-crisis/article_b499ce9e-725d-515d-8c8f-8ffe634bd7a5.html The Daily Progress article] ([https://archive.ph/ztgPb accessible archive])</ref> As time goes on, computer-aided design programs evolve, and it's more economical to learn the craft as part of another major (such as engineering, machining, digital media, or product design). Simply majoring in CADD nowadays is like majoring in Microsoft Word. Additionally, Chris was trained on Windows XP-era software that has been obsolete for ages, and he has made virtually zero effort to keep up with new developments in his field of study. This has left Chris with very few job prospects he wouldn't have gotten with any other AA.

==Usage in the comics==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|left|'''Computer'''-Aided, not Pen-Aided.]]
Chris's CADD degrees apparently come into use within his [[comic]]s. He even alludes to them assisting him at many points in his comic; for example, [[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|Sonichu & Rosechu's benefit house]]. However, the few basic measuring skills he may have picked up from his CADD courses seem to have been forgotten, because he never uses a ruler, nor are his drawings to scale. Additionally, he doesn't use a computer for anything but the text, making his CADD degree entirely inconsequential to the production of his comic (in fact, he was firmly ''against'' [[Chris and art#Chris and digital art|using computers for art]] until 2020). Obviously, a college course is not required to be able to make basic measurements or draw things relatively proportional to each other. When you consider his lack of improvement over the last 20 years, he'd probably have been better off spending [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s tuition money on [[Lego]] blocks.

Chris petulantly inserted Dr. Meniru into the comic as a villain by the name of [[CADD Chef]], who mocks Chris's designs for his mall. This "injustice" guaranteed CADD Chef a place in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] as one of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s minions.

==See also==
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
* [[CADD Chef]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/page-1470#post-10548820 Kiwi Farms post containing above plans]
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]</s>Link down, please upload if you have the files
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/ Archived page for the CADD program at PVCC while Chris was there]

{{PVCCSaga}}
{{Education}}
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:PVCC Saga]]

Saga

2023-05-17T06:31:45Z

Buick lesabre: /* The Silent Years (1 August 2021 to Present) */

{{Honest}}
{{Protip|Contacting Chris does not make a saga, even if it gets a response. Getting your own saga in Christory is also ''NOT'' an achievement. [[Julie|Just]] [[Megan|ask]] [[Idea Guys|these]] [[Bella|people]].

 In addition, it is important to note that sagas by definition occur for a number of reasons, regardless of troll involvement. These sagas are about Chris, not you.}}
{{Illustrations}}

{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}

A "'''saga'''" (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is a story arc of events on the [[CWChronology]], documenting Chris' actions during a specific span of time.

==Meta-sagas==
For nearly two decades, Chris has been going through one tumult or another. However, throughout each of these, Chris has had a [[autism|special interest]] or obsession that would follow him through all of them, and would define him as a person. Indeed, this central focus of his life would serve to unite his sagas with a common theme: a near-certain way to get a reaction out of Chris would be by winning his trust through feeding his special interest, and then exploiting it for Laughs Under Lucricities. For most of Christory, this would be pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], but more recently this has transmuted into [[Chris and his Ego|feigning to worship]] him. As they are threads running through and linking together, and are the broadest strokes of Chris's life, they can be considered ''meta-sagas'', beyond and more fundamental than the fleeting fancies of any individual [[troll]].

===Love Quest (ca. 2003 - March 2018; January 2021-Present)===
[[File:LoveQuestSaga.png|500px]]

''The'' quintessential saga, and the one that introduced this word to the Christorian's lexicon. Sometime early in his career at PVCC, Chris decided that he needed a girlfriend to call his own. Beset on all sides by the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]] (read: women were repulsed by his unusual mannerisms), the [[virgin with rage]] resorted to increasingly desperate and bizarre methods of obtaining one, which have seen him [[List of places that have banned Chris|expelled and banned]] from multiple reputable establishments. After his discovery by the Internet, Chris would flutter from one professed girlfriend to another, thinking that each might be the [[CWCisms#H|heartsweet]] that might end this search once and for all. Alas, it was not meant to be, and Chris often found himself betrayed and humiliated in comical and grotesque ways. The Love Quest survived several upheavals in Chris's life, including his father's death, the loss of his virginity, the house fire and his gender transition (see below), yet despite Christorians' predictions, and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]]'s injunctions, finally concluded in [[March 2018]], when a mentally eroded Chris declared himself in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his [[Chris and reality|fictional characters]].

The Love Quest would seem to come back in full force by the beginning of 2021, and much more intense than before, with Chris expressing sexual frustrations to Watchmen members, wishing to get a physical girlfriend. He would crush on multiple women of interest all at once and have wet dreams that involved cartoon characters. It would get intense to the point of releasing this sexual frustration on his own mother, leading to dire consequences.
{{Love Quest}}

===Transgender Saga (''30 March 2011 - Present'')===
[[File:TransgenderSaga.png|500px]]

In [[2011]], Chris began the process of gender transitioning. In March of that year, he starting cross-dressing and later came out as a "tomgirl". Despite resistance from his parents, Chris continued down the transgender path, exploring his gender identity. In 2014, he briefly identified as a lesbian male, and a year later, settled on identifying as a lesbian transwoman.
{{Sexuality}}

===Business Saga (''3 July 2014 - 8 June 2016''; ''June 2017 - July 2021'')===
Although this Saga began during the Sonic Boom Saga, it ultimately outlasted it. Chris realized during this Saga that he could make significantly large amounts of [[money]] by selling his own products, including Medallions and customized [[Sonichu Amiibo]]s, first on [[eBay]], then on [[Etsy]]. This Saga is notable for featuring the return of frequent video uploads by Chris. Inevitably, Chris's laziness got the better of him (again) and he failed to ship out multiple orders. As his interest in making money dwindled, the [[Financhu Crisis]] began to strain the Chandler finances. Chris failed to get his act together, resulting in him getting banned from selling on Etsy on 8 June 2016, halting the Saga. There were a [[Paid Video Requests|few]] [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff|recurrences]] where Chris attempted to profit from his own products again, but these were expectedly fruitless and short-lived. In [[May 2017]], Chris began drawing [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] pages again after a 561-day hiatus, and in June, he resumed monetizing ''Sonichu'' comics, by setting pages as rewards on his [[Patreon]] account and again offering printed books from [[Lulu]].

Through 2018 and 2019, Chris has grown neglectful of his commercial obligations, failing to produce Sonichu pages and ship items, culminating in his restriction from [[eBay]] on 16 June 2019.

Chris' Patreon was shut down in [[August 2021]] after he was [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrested]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]].

{{BusinessList}}
===Financhu Crisis Saga (''12 April 2016 - Present'')===
[[File:FinanchuSaga.png|500px]]
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}
Coined by the members of the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris released [[Please, Donate|a video]] asking for donations in exchange for gifts. Then, he cut out the gifts, and when his Etsy shop was closed, resorted to straight begging, [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|prostitution]], and [[By random request; I still need money, please|video]] [[Update 20160718|requests]]; all while continuing to buy over $1,000 worth of toys and only selling [[Update 20160718|'''THREE POKÉMON CARDS''']] at this saga's beginning, and putting various worthless junk on eBay for exorbitant prices. Chris was eventually able to sell the [[Sonic Totem|Sonic totem]] for $1500 only to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|immediately admit to wasting the profits]] on toys and a [[$400 gold necklace]] to replace one Barb previously pawned; a selfish act that shows the full extent of Chris and Barb's financial incompetency. His begging also goes to the point of [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!|asking on Facebook]] for someone to pay his mortgage. This also shows Chris's [[ego]], since he [[Announcement 06292016|treats his monetary problems that he caused as a charity]].

In June 2017, Chris began to take his Patreon more seriously by actually working on the Sonichu comic; as a result, his Patreon earnings skyrocketed to hundreds of dollars per month and mitigated his desire to beg for money. As a result, Chris stopped begging in July. However, he remained deeply in debt and showed no signs of developing greater financial responsibility.

In late 2017 and early 2018 work on ''Sonichu'' slowed, as did Chris's Patreon donations. Around this time, Chris later claimed he needed to cover an unknown but essential large expenditure which he refuses to discuss in detail. As a result, Chris resumed begging and selling items on eBay with greater intensity than ever, peaking in early May when he made [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE|a trilogy of panicked videos]] revealing that a mortgage payment on [[14 Branchland Court]] was due soon and that the unknown expenditure had left him and Barb unable to cover it. Though Chris was saved by an influx of donations and eBay sales, the Chandlers' financial situation evidently remains more desperate than ever.

===Roleplaying Saga (''August 2017 - Present'')===
[[File:Escapist Saga Banner.png|600px]]

As a maladaptive coping mechanism against the bleakness of his [[reality]], Chris's belief in imaginary friends and magical thinking drastically increased, one example of him dancing with [[Magi-Chan]] at the 2017 [[BronyCon]]. After the [[Idea Guys]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[other enablers|other successive enablers]] further fueled his fantasies by validating them, Chris retreated even more into his fantasy world. It was once again re-enforced by the [[COVID-19]] pandemic due to the fact that it cancelled all the conventions Chris was planning to attend in [[2020]].

On 19 September 2021, Chris wrote a letter in jail, where he declares himself as Jesus of Nazareth.

{{Coping}}

===Dimensional Merge (''14 October 2018 - 3 August 2021'')===
[[File:Merge saga.png|500px]]
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

Due to the influence of the Idea Guys and Teen Troon Squad, ideas of a dimensional merge began to manifest within Chris. This came to a head in [[October 2018]], when Chris uploaded a video where he announced that our dimension will soon merge with another. He has revised the deadline for this prophecy several times. This was followed by several months of him droning about it on Twitter, even during his Soft Exile (described below). Various weens, including [[Sarah and Steve]], would circumvent new Twitter restrictions through physical mail or other channels, seeking to encourage him further; in [[April 2019]] things went to a new level when [[Future_message_from_Crystal_W_Chandler|a video]] was posted of a masked man reading a letter supposedly from a time-traveling [[Reginald Chandler]] announcing the merge.

{{Fantasies}}

==Pre-Christory (''[[Birthday|24 February 1982]] - June 2000'')==

The world at large discovered Christian Weston Chandler on 27 October 2007. Before this time, we have only a scanty record to the details of Chris's life. For the early Noughties, the earlier ''Sonichu'' comics (especially [[Sonichu 4]]) are a substantial, if biased, record of notable events; Chris has supplemented this with several other records, including his [[diary]], and some videos from the time (such as his 2004 Christmas) have been leaked. For the twentieth century, which includes all of Chris's childhood and [[honor roll|high school years]], our records are much sparser. Some content, such as [[Manchester High Leaks|some school papers]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|television footage]], have been unearthed, though much remains unknown or dubious. Indeed, much of our knowledge of Chris's childhood comes from later accounts by Chris. However, Chris's childhood is what made him the manchild he is today, so we must discuss it when discussing him.

===Early Childhood Saga (''24 February 1982 - 1991'')===

Chris was brought upon onto the world on 24 February 1982.

When Chris was eighteen months old, an abusive babysitter named Roach (or Roche) locked Chris in a room filled with nothing but toys. This was allegedly the event that led to Chris's autism, though actual scientific evidence points to it being an inborn disorder. Some accounts describe the room as a closet, while others describe it as a playroom. In any case, the trauma turned young Christopher from talkative to mute. He wouldn't speak or vocalize again until the age of seven.

<center>{{ChildhoodSaga}}</center>

===Nathanael Greene Saga (''1991-92'')===
Chris was allegedly abused at Nathanael Greene Elementary School by the principal and other members of staff. According to Chris, they pinned him down and recorded him screaming. His father then moved the family to Richmond and took legal action against the school district. The case was dropped in 1994. Chris claims that he had very uncomfortable experiences with one allegedly gay teacher at Nathanael Greene which Chris uses to justify his homophobia. Chris and his father also believed that the Greene County school system was not qualified to teach autistic children and Chris would spend his fifth grade being homeschooled by his parents in order to protect him from the perceived danger of the public school system. He and his family relocated to the Richmond area on the other side of the state, where he'd spend the remainder of his years as a minor.
{{GreeneSaga}}

===Leonard Bearstein Saga (''December 1992 – February 1994'')===
[[File:The Leonard Bearstein Saga.jpg|500px]]

On Christmas of '92, shortly after Chris's move to Richmond, he encountered a miracle. Up until this point, his full name had been Christopher Weston Chandler. Then, he saw an animatronic orchestra playing popular Christmas tunes at the local mall. The orchestra was headed by one Leonard Bearstein, a robotic bear controlled by an operator behind the scenes.

The bear would often interact with the kids, and when Chris told him his name was Christopher, the bear misheard him as saying Christian. Chris took it as a sign from God, while Bob believed it was the bear's British accent. In any case, Chris started going by Christian and had his name legally changed in court the next year. He wouldn't change it again [[transgender|until 2016]].

More importantly, this saga would also mark some of the first instances of Chris's ego being stroked. Most notably in how this particular event had been alleged to be the direct cause of him finding an autism-friendly school, and winning the Sonic the Hedgehog Sweepstakes.

{{BearsteinSaga}}

===High School Saga (''August 1996-June 2000'')===
[[File:The High School Saga.png|500px]]

In many senses, Chris peaked in high school. He holds his high school memories and gal-pals dear to his heart. From a positive view, he had his [[gal pal]]s, [[honor roll]], and job as a <s>water boy</s> basketball team manager, and he produced a high volume of [[art]], which included [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself. On the flip side, he got an [[Song of Christian|F in English]] and had to ride on the short bus. Graduation was especially painful when he didn't win a not-so-prestigious best artist award.

<center>{{HighSchoolSaga}}</center>

==Early Adult Chronicles (''June 2000 – 27 October 2007'')==
Chris came of age in 2000, a time of many transitions. Once he graduated from [[Manchester High]], he was no longer in the safe, regimented world of compulsory education. No more guaranteed or arranged friendships, and the kid gloves have come off. Colleges are also stricter when setting student accommodations, and professors don't always have time for special arrangements. Additionally, Chris got a taste of the real world at [[Wendy's]], which fired him for [[Donald Duck impersonation|multiple]] [[Cousin_Al#Bowling_Outing|reasons]].

The little boy who [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|was once doing so well]] now had to make his life work outside of school. Of course, some programs can help autistic folks find work, but Chris figured that was too [[stress]]ful. Instead, he took the easy route with help from [[Bob]]: he applied for [[Monthly tugboat|social security disability checks]]. While fellow students had to balance their schedules with jobs, Chris had all the time in the world to focus on school. After graduating, his whole life became free time. Without a job, Chris had little motivation to get his life together.

While scarcer than in modern times, records for this period are much more substantial than those of Chris's childhood. Even without external provocation or influence, the events of this period, including the Love Quest and the first ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s, were enough to make Chris an Internet legend and would lay the foundation for everything yet to come.

===PVCC Saga (''September 2000 - May 2006'')===
[[File:The PVCC Saga.png|500px]]

From [[2000]] to [[2006]], Chris attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, a local community college, to obtain a degree in [[Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. It took him five years of [[Chris's education|schooling]] to complete an ostensibly two-year degree, and this time in his life was not without drama. His 21st birthday in [[2003]] marked the beginning of the [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go around campus carrying a [[sign]] showing his demands for an ideal partner. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a dean at [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], confiscated the signs. He retaliated by making more; he even printed some out to put around campus walls. Chris eventually confronted Walsh, who [[banned]] him from PVCC for a year. Chris had to receive a [[autism papers|psychological evaluation]] to be allowed back on campus, and he began using the sign in other locations. Chris immortalized Walsh as a cartoon villain in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].

<center>{{PVCCSaga}}</center>

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - April 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg|500px]]

From 2005 to 21 April 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris. The saga would end when Megan told Chris [[Megan_emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore|she could no longer trust him]]. Nonetheless, Chris has refused to let her go, and his useless attempts at making amends have stretched all the way to ''2018'' (for reference, that's a ''decade'' since Megan cut off ties with him).

<center>{{MeganSaga}}</center>
===Stackhouse Saga (''June - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg|500px]]

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] to win Megan's heart (more or less her china too), only to be beaten by a much superior entry made by one Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time an unsuspecting member of the public inadvertently caused a saga. From then on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

Over a decade after the Saga concluded, Chris finally made peace with Stackhouse after the latter made a surprise appearance in the audience for [[MAGfest#The_Christory_of_Sonichu_panel|Chris's panel]] at [[MAGfest]] 2018.

<center>{{StackhouseSaga}}</center>

==Classic Chris Era (''27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010'')==
The era that most associate with Chris. The mists of antiquity begin to fade on 27 October 2007, when an unrelated thread on the ''Something Awful'' forums was derailed by someone mentioning seeing our epic cycle's hero in the flesh.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg|500px]]

In November 2007, trolls would discover Chris and create a page about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Chris would initially think that they just got his information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, in the process destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm, although the site has long since fallen out of relevance in Chris's life, replaced with outlets such as the [[Kiwi Farms]].

<center>{{EDSaga}}</center>
===Blanca Saga (''August - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg|500px]]

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[white knight]]ing efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain Chris's [[medallions]] and film a video of them cutting one up and [[Fire|setting it ablaze]].

<center>{{BlancaSaga}}</center>
=== GAMe PLACe Saga (''August 2008 - June 2014'')===
[[File:Game Place.jpg|500px]]

Currently the second-longest saga in Christory. For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain in the ass to store manager [[Michael Snyder]], and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, and [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael [[CWC is Angry|to shoot at]], but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the second-longest saga to date, it's little wonder why Barb believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, on 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' However, this would later be proven dishonest when [[October 2014|6 months later]] he made an angry post on Facebook where he pins all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual jerk", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan until she apologizes for what she's done. His plans were soon foiled in June 2014, however, when it was revealed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that the GAMe PLACe was shut down for good. Regardless, he ''still'' holds a grudge against Mike.

<center>{{GamePlaceSaga}}</center>

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg|500px]]

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he was led to believe that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

<center>{{JimmyHillSaga}}</center>

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - mid-2010)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg|500px]]

In 2008, Chris encountered a new troll named Clyde Cash, who went on a months-long trolling spree to get back at the autistic wonder for supposedly causing his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]]. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

<center>{{ClydeCashSaga}}</center>
===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg|500px]]

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when he found out that she was supposedly found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, the ever-gullible Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian [[Brushfire Video|brushfires]], despite living miles away from the incident; question remains as to whether she really died in this event, or was actually working in tandem with Clyde, their relationship being consensual after all. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

<center>{{PandaSaga}}</center>
===Miyamoto Saga (''January - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg|500px]]

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by a troll posing as [[Nintendo]] developer [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], claiming he would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Unfortunately, Chris proved to be nothing more than a couch potato, and his ineptitude resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, "[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]" shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

<center>{{MiyamotoSaga}}</center>
===Julie Saga (''February - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg|500px]]

Arguably ''the'' most divisive and controversial out of Chris's trolls until the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Bella]]. In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a 13-year-old troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]] and then torture Chris in many ways in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] chat, where he forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to shove it up the dumper. BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris, as well as his arguably abusive ways of trolling him, would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki. One other less disturbing yet no less fascinating incident that came about as a result of this Saga was the [[Ohio Trip]]; taking place just a week before the infamous reveal, Chris was willing to drive hundreds of miles to Cleveland in the hopes of rescuing Julie from Max and Clyde Cash; needless to say, this has been the furthest he's driven for any Sweetheart, and since then Chris was unwilling to drive significantly shorter distances to meet later potential girlfriends such as [[Kacey]] and [[Jackie]] in the years that followed.

<center>{{JulieSaga}}</center>

===PSN Hacking Saga (''February 2009 - 27 August 2010'')===

After Clyde had faked his death, he came back and hacked into Chris's PSN account, to which Chris would attempt to convince Vivian Gee to pay him back after Clyde used up $15 from his account. Clyde would however be outpreformed by a greater enemy, [[Jack Thaddeus]].

<center>{{PS3Saga}}</center>

===Emily Saga (''March 2009 - 25 May 2014'')===
A troll in Chris's area named Emily Schifflet noticed that he wouldn't remember her face, so she decided to play multiple troll characters in Chris's life. One of them was Emily, who met Chris for a staged IRL date before going out with a man in a pickle suit. Another was [[Kim Wilson]], a platonic gal-pal who hung out with Chris in real life and online. This troll would also go under the name "Scarlet" while playing the Kim character.

<center>{{EmilySaga}}</center>

===Ivy Saga (''March - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg|500px]]

In March 2009, a girl named Ivy decided to impress a friend by asking Chris for a video shout-out. She didn't know what would come later; his crush towards her would lead him to create 3 special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and Christorians, but also provided an incredibly important resource for the latter in showing Chris's [[Heart Level]] at perhaps the strongest it had been since 2007, at least for a time. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's (fabricated) suicide.

<center>{{IvySaga}}</center>
===Vanessa Saga (''April - May 2009'')===
[[Image:Vanessa Saga.png|500px]]

In [[April 2009]], troll and fellow [[James Madison University|speech therapy]] attendee [[Joshua Martinez]] succeeded in getting Chris to believe that the ''High School Musical'' actress and pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was in contact with him, through Joshua's AIM, in retaliation for Chris's horrible attempt at getting [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] to [[Vanessa_Saga#Email_to_Joshua|troll him]] like Chris, himself, had been trolled. Chris would create videos to show that he was movie-star material, going so far as to [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|cheat]] on his current [[troll|true and honest]] [[Ivy|sweetheart]]. Predictably, [[Chris and reality|he wasn't]] exactly the type Vanessa was looking for.

This [[Vanessa Saga|saga]] goes to show that even the most gullible of things can get by Chris, even when the perceived truth is a [[Weening|horrible]] [[Autism|excuse]] of ammunition against the poor manchild, which just shows how desperate he may be for [[Love Quest|romantic attention]].

<center>{{VanessaSaga}}</center>
===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg|500px]]

In early June 2009, Chris was given his own wiki to upload his comics and blog about his personal life, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

After 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

<center>{{CWCipediaSaga}}</center>
===Liquid Chris Saga (''21 June - 10 November 2009'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg|500px]]

In July 2009, Chris came up with a plan to try getting the trolls off his back. He [[Rollin' and Trollin'|faked a revelation]] that he was apparently a troll himself who is the complete opposite of Chris in real life. Along then came the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, which got the other Chris (at this point nicknamed [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and Solid Chris) really pent up with rage. Ian would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, after a [[Kacey calls|long]] [[Father Call|series]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|of]] [[The End for Real|calls]] that proved Ian to be unworthy of her love, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July 2011.

<center>{{LiquidSaga}}</center>
===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 10 January 2012'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg|500px]]

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fanfiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and his identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]]. This later turned out to be fake as months later, the ''real'' Christopher Paul Whitney made a response to Chris and essentially confirmed he was not Alec.

<center>{{AsperchuSaga}}</center>
===Tito Saga (''January 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg|500px]]

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with [[The Wallflower]], hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release her name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the lulz spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|flashing his underwear while wearing a Scottish kilt]]. At the same time, Chris discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. To put it bluntly, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

<center>{{TitoSaga}}</center>

==Dark Ages (''20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014'')==
Though [[The Miscreants|the Miscreants]] could collectively keep Chris on edge for well over a year, it was inevitable that the archetypical lolcow would someday cease to give milk. His seeking out the Wallflower and then Jackie in person, instead of believing every self-declared boyfriend-free girl who caught his fancy online, was an early sign of the changing atmosphere: Chris's ill-fated attempt to seduce her marked a shift from focusing on on-line to real-world affairs. Information on Chris's life would increasingly need to be sought through [[Flipnote Hatena]], in-person encounters and other sources beside the Internet; [[Chris and cinematography|traditional videos]] became less frequent. Occasional [[muscle bra|transvestitism]] would soon become [[tomgirl|permanent]] as Chris began to leave his old identity behind him. Surprisingly, Chris would come to abstain even from his traditional [[Love Quest|pursuit of women]] and put the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] on indefinite hiatus.

All sagas during this period are of this early transitional phase: [[Bob Chandler]]'s death in late [[2011]] drew a veil over Chris's affairs for the next several years. Direct records from Chris during this time are nearly exclusively found on [[Facebook]]; for a time, it appeared that Chris had learnt from his many years of abuse at the Internet's hands and was finally keeping a low profile. We are again dependent mostly on third-party sources for events such as [[28 October 2011|Snyder's near-death at Chris's hands]], the resulting [[Chris and the law|conviction]] and the [[2014 house fire]] in the following years. Organic CWC-generated activity would not re-emerge until mid-[[2014]], proving that he had, in fact, [[honor roll|learnt nothing]] from past events.

===First Exile (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===
[[File:Exile.jpg|500px]]

After Chris lost the Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down several times. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

<center>{{FirstExile}}</center>

===Jackie Saga (''5 April - 26 November 2010; 7 December 2010 - May 2012'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg|500px]]

Following the Wallflower incident's fallout, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party--[[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend--stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, leading many to believe that the Jackie saga had finished.

However, in [[December 2010|December]], Jackie and Chris were in contact again. This would not be known until 2013, where a whole bunch of emails from then to [[September 2011]] were leaked. During this time, Chris came out as a tomgirl to her, while she later got Chris to make a bunch of humiliating videos, including [[Cakefarts]]. These would be leaked in [[February 2012]], leading to Chris unfriending her on Facebook in [[April 2012|April]], though refriending her a month later. She was never heard from again, putting an end to the saga.

<center>{{JackieSaga}}</center>

===Calling Out Saga (''6 August - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Call_Out.png|500px]]

During the beginning of [[August 2011|August]], Chris began to release videos as an attempt to get some sort of [[fangs|reprisal]] and [[Chris and his Ego|apology]] out of the [[trolls#The Few, the Proud, the Elite|trolls]]. Chris warned the trolls that if they didn't meet his [[Chris and negotiation#Calling Out|demands]] on the [[Stress|deadline]] Chris had set for them, then Chris would leak information [[Naïve|that he believed to be true]], even though most believe some of the information to be [[Kimmi|fake]]. This saga is notable for [[Calling Out#Summary|videos]] that showcase Chris's new [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] look, and further set in stone the aformentioned [[Tomgirl Saga]]. Though Chris reached the zenith of the Calling Out Saga on a high, having believed himself to have exiled some of his most prominent rivals from the internet, these series of videos would, however, come to an abrupt [[September 2011#Events|end]] after [[Chris and death#Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927–2011)|tragedy struck the Chandler household]].

<center>{{CallingOutSaga}}</center>

===Second Exile (''6 September 2011 - 9 July 2014'')===
[[File:CWC Exile II Banner.png|500px]]

Unlike the other exiles listed here, the Second CWC Exile came unannounced with the death of his [[Bob Chandler|father]]. Then came [[28 October 2011|October 28]], a day which will live in infamy for Chris. After trespassing and running over [[Michael Snyder]], he and [[Barb]] were arrested. Despite the help of [[Rob Bell]], they were found guilty and were sentenced. Since that day, most, if not all of Chris' internet activity were confined to his [[Facebook]] account, where he would gripe about loneliness and nostalgia. It wasn't until 2013 where he uploaded a new video. Although [[January 2014]] would bring him back to the spotlight briefly due to [[2014 house fire|a house fire]], it wasn't until the Sonic Boom saga where he would return to relevance.
{{SecondExile}}

==Renaissance (''3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017'')==
A combination of events - namely yet another failed online sweetheart, and showing hatred for a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' reboot so immense that it would eventually get him arrested - would lead to Chris being dragged back into the Internet spotlight.

===Catherine Saga (''9 July - 14 December 2014'')===
[[File:catherinesaga.png|500px]]

With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to a Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new sweetheart, whose identity he managed to surprisingly conceal for period of time. Later, he would [[I Love You, Catherine|reveal]] that her name was Catherine. Predictably, she turned out to be a troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. Catherine's associate, [[Cousin Al]], would also meet the two of them at Applebee's, to which Chris would invite both of them to the charred remains of his house following a fire. From there, Al would collect several of Chris's old Manchester High assignments.

According to Catherine, his [[Catherine#The Date|behavior had not improved]] since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's [[Rental House|comprehension of basic sanitation]]. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his [[Un-clit|perineum]], meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.

<center>{{CatherineSaga}}</center>

=== Sonic Boom Saga (''3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015'')===
[[Image:SonicBoomSagaBanner.png|500px]]

This Saga began with Chris grumbling on [[Facebook]] about the announcement of the latest [[Sonic]] game, ''[[Sonic Boom]]''. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris unique in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris only took umbrage at the fact that the color of Sonic's arms had been changed from tan to blue.

This baffled most of his white knights, with [[William Elliott Waterman]] trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering ''Sonic Boom'' was not part of the ''Sonic'' canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his white knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit" took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and [[Death Threats|angry messages]] on Sega Facebook pages.

On [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]], however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's second pending court case. Despite warnings from even his most loyal white knights, Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had [[List of places that have banned Chris|previously been banned from]]. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on Boxing Day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the [[manajerks|management]]. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exit and, whilst on the way out, maced an employee, who hadn't been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have Barb bail him out afterwards.

Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out Kengle because he owns a ''comic'' with blue-armed Sonic, sending glitterbombs to Sega, and buying a Sonic Boom doll just to rip its arms off.

Later though, Chris claims victory in the blue arms debacle, due to Sonic the Hedgehog being his non-blue-armed form in ''Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. He says this is the final update for the group, but only time will tell if he's telling the truth.

Ultimately, after six days in court, Chris was found guilty on 15 October 2015 for the GameStop incident and was fined $541 along with a 180-day probation. Thus, the Blue Arms Saga ends (or has it?). Months later, Chris instructed his fanbase to [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|boycott]] local stores which refused his request to be unbanned.

<center>{{SonicBoomSaga}}</center>

===Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)===
[[File:LadyManagersSaga.png|500px]]

Between fall 2015 and summer 2016, Chris was in contact with people he vaguelly dubbed his ladyfriends or managers. During this time, he would be trolled by various characters - [[Jeff/Francine]] Ouzos, a thinly-disguised parody and wealthy rival of Chris; [[Sam and Ellen]], a lesbian couple considering Chris as a sperm donor, to whom he showed off his [[Chris's Specimen Sample|frozen sperm collection]]; and [[Johan]], the catalyst for the [[Lesbian Sex Audition]].

This saga saw the return of Chris uploading videos to YouTube after a years-long hiatus.

{{LadySaga}}

===Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)===
[[File:Pmurt Saga.png|500px]]

The saga started with a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment on 25 September]] in where he decried then Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for his anti-LGBTQ opinions and misogynistic attitudes, labeling him "Pmurt" in an attempt to spite him. Many found this comment surprising, as Chris has been historically neutral in politics. As the election drew closer, Chris continued to criticize Trump, seemingly oblivious to the irony that any negative trait he could levy was far more applicable to himself. This saga reached its peak when Trump was elected president. During this point, he would make [[Pmurt#2016|death threats to him]]. This culminated in a one-week ban from Facebook.

On Inauguration day, Chris would make [[The United States of America has NO President or Vice President, Whatsoever|one last attack]]. Although Chris still holds negative opinions of Pmurt, he is not nearly as expressive with his vitriol as he was during this saga. Even when Trump was impeached, Chris gave no thoughts on it.
{{PmurtSaga}}

===Doopie Saga (''7 March - 26 September 2017'')===
[[File:DoopieSaga.png|500px]]

Also coined by the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris [[2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD|made a tweet]] empathizing with ''Planet Dolan'' animator and artist [https://www.youtube.com/user/DoopieDoOver DoopieDoOver]. He began frequently replying to her tweets, usually with small talk and the occasional sharing of a life experience, or shameless attempts at flirting. The saga's climax began on 1 August, when Chris pledged to Doopie's alternative Patreon account, "Kittenbell", which handles pornographic commissions. The same day, Chris listed her among his [[Gal pals]] on "National Girlfriend Day", only for her to promptly rebuke him.
Afterward, Doopie tweeted about the harassment she was receiving (from Chris), went to the Kiwi Farms, and leaked his private e-mails to her business account. Chris discovered that Doopie had turned on him and desperately followed several of Doopie's friends (including her [[JERKS|boyfriend]]) in an attempt to stay connected. However, he unfollowed most of them when it became clear his plan would not work, while the rest blocked him themselves.

Doopie has not contacted Chris since August 2017; his hopes of building her into a [[sweetheart]] or [[gal pal]] from the ground up, predictably, were in vain. By September, Chris had found a new sweetheart and moved on. Their interactions showed that Chris's immense [[Chris and socialization|social ineptitude]] and creepy behavior have not abated. Doopie inadvertently became the greatest [[Trolls|troll]] Chris faced in many years, [[Heart level|breaking his heart]] and feeding new information to Christorians.

<center>{{DoopieSaga}}</center>

===Quinn Saga (''7 September - 5 October 2017'')===
[[File:Quinn Saga.png|500px]]

Jessica Quinn, for years a [[white knight]] of Chris, suddenly decided to troll him with the tried-and-true method of [[Sweetheart|pretending to fall in love with him]]. Highlights of the brief saga include pictures and videos of Chris crying over a short breakup, an old-fashioned [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|rage video]] following their final breakup (which he initially blamed on hackers from [[Kiwi Farms]]), and Quinn manipulating Chris into adding fat fetishism to ''Sonichu''. This saga would serve as the transition for the new wave of trolling yet to come for Chris.

<center>{{QuinnSaga}}</center>

==Transcendental Awakening (''August 2017 to 30 July 2021'')==

After a period of reemergence from Chris, several trolls soon began to notice Chris' deteriorating mental state, and found it the perfect opportunity to troll him again, this time through the tactic of [[enablers|enabling]] his beliefs and brainwashing new ridiculous concepts into him. This all began with [[Joshua Wise]], an anime-obsessed troll who greatly manipulated him for his own personal gain by changing major parts of the canon of his Sonichu comics, coercing him into producing strange videos, and proposing the [[Polyamorous marriage|infamous marriage]] between Chris and a bunch of fictional characters, half of which Chris had already created.

Chris' new motto to [[Chris and kindness|befriend everyone he meets]], even complete strangers, has also made it much easier to manipulate him. Because of this, many other trolls began to follow suit, using some of the same tactics that Wise had used to manipulate Chris with, with very little questioning on his end. Since then, Chris has started to believe himself to be the goddess of an alternate dimension, dubbing himself and all other residents of said dimension as "[[OCs]]".

===Idea Guys Saga (''25 October 2017 - 29 April 2018'')===
[[Image:Ideaguysaga image.png|500px]]

In early November 2017, Chris began blurting out nonsensical stories about [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], such as the characters of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] invading [[CWCville]], CWCville reacting to the invasion by setting up [[Operation BARBarossa|concentration camps]], and Vladimir Putin being president of the United States in another dimension. He also began making strange videos involving Internet memes and cultural and historical references he clearly did not understand.

It came to light that an anonymous troll, acting as Chris' "idea guy", noted Chris' difficulty distinguishing [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] and lack of understanding of history and politics, and began convincing Chris to make bizarre or politically incorrect content. There are signs that the Idea Guy's influence was coercive or deceptive in nature, such as Chris being [[Chris and hypocrisy|shocked]] at his suggestion that Rosechu was [[Homos#Transgenderism|transgender]], and appearing visibly uncomfortable as he performed an "[[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] [[Cherokee|Cherokean]] chant".

After a calm period in early January, the saga escalated again as Chris made [[Smashing|two]] [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|bizarre]] videos of ranting about Nazis and smashing his possessions. Possibly as a response, moderators at [[Kiwi Farms]] doxxed the Idea Guy troll, revealing his name as Joshua Wise.

Despite that setback, Wise decided to continue being the Idea Guy. His changes to ''Sonichu'' remained canon, with Chris continuing to produce drawings using ideas which Wise had established prior to the dox, and Chris continued to proudly wear the [[Chris and fashion#Gopnik outfit|Gopnik outfit]] which Wise first convinced him to don.

Chris subsequently announced that he was bisexual, and was attracted to [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his own fursona]] and said he had gotten married to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]]. More questionable acts such as Chris [[Dick Licker; that is I|licking pictures of Magi-chan's penis drawn on a wall]] and prostituting himself on Twitter were scripted and executed.

In May 2018, [[The Captain]] discovered what the Idea Guys were doing and rescued Chris from the Idea Guys. He, along with [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]] and [[Null]], then gathered evidence to submit to law enforcement. As for Chris, he disavowed some ideas given to him by the Idea Guys (though keeping the majority of them, like his make-believe marriage).

<center>{{IdeaGuySaga}}</center>

===Prequel Comic Saga (''2 January 2018 - 14 May 2018'')===
[[File:PrequelComicSaga.png|500px]]

On 2 January 2018, the graphic designer and comic creator [[Bryanfrogboy|Bryan Shickley]] would get the attention of Chris after he had created "Chris Chan: A Prequel Comic". Bryan then soon claimed that he would make merchandise off of the francise, to which Chris approved. During a time when Chris was in financial ruin, which was later worsened after the Idea Guys extorted money from him, the comic, along with the merchandise created by Bryan, would become some of the first things that Chris would promote to help him out of his dire financial situation.

Bryan's comic would also get Chris to reflect on some of his biggest blunders, including SheCameForCWC.jpg, him attemping to run over Michael Snyder, and others.

A highlight of the brief saga includes Chris approaching what appeared to be his first male sweetheart, Bryan himself, as a result of the Idea Guys previously brainwashing him into believing he was bisexual, even writing an erotic gay poem for him. Attempts were made by Bryan's girlfriend to keep Chris away from Bryan. Along with this, gal-pal Tings Tingz would also show feelings for Bryan.

Due to his associations with Chris during the midst of the Idea Guys, Bryan would be accused by onlookers as a possible troll and/or ween, as well as getting attacked by actual weens himself.

{{PrequelComicSaga}}

===Guard Dogs (''Summer 2018'')===
[[Image:Guard Dogs Banner.png|500px]]

After the events of the Idea Guy saga, it became clear that Chris was dealing with a [[ween]] epidemic. To combat this, Null and The Captain decided to step in and filter Chris's emails and Twitter to prevent trolls from getting through. Null made a thread on Kiwi Farms showing off the intercepted ween messages and even doxxing the senders.

According to con attendees, Null seems to have recruited some Kiwi Farms users to follow Chris around [[BronyCon]] in 2018 in order to prevent people from talking to him. If this is true, it's most likely in response to Chris's meltdown at [[TooManyGames]] and Null, not wanting this to happen again, assembled an elite anti-ween task force. The Captain assisted Chris when his car broke down on the way back from BronyCon. More elaborate plans were also implemented, including a plan for a field agent to whisk Chris away to assisted living after his mother passes.

Null and The Captain would also attempt to give Chris advice. In particular, Null encouraged him to talk to his therapist about the Idea Guys, in order to fast-track law enforcement involvement, but Chris was reluctant to do so. Instead, Chris opted to retreat into the ruins of his fantasy world. Eventually, it became clear that Chris had disregarded the precautions set up for him and found a new set of trolls to replace the Idea Guys: the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. Null and The Captain's willingness to help Chris has since diminished, although they remain in proximity to Chris online to document and discuss any goings-on.

<center>{{GuardDogSaga}}</center>

===Teen Troon Squad Saga (''24 April 2018 - 1 January 2019'')===
[[Image:TTS Saga2.png|500px]]
{{main|Teen Troon Squad}}

The Teen Troon Squad is a group of 18- to 19-year-old FTM trans people who live locally to Chris. They gained influence over Chris upon purchasing his porn artwork on [[eBay]] for $1,000 in April 2018.

After Chris was rescued from the [[Idea Guys]] in May 2018, he continued to hold onto the beliefs they had programmed into him. Although he was encouraged to seek [[Chris and psychology|therapy]], Chris balked at the idea and instead sought out more people to feed his delusional thinking - and got his wish in the form of the Teen Troon Squad; around October of that same year, for the second time in 2018, Chris was trolled by people claiming to be his own fictional characters when the Squad invited Chris over to their house, where they pushed his delusional thinking.

In October 2018 Chris began outlining a supposed 'Dimensional Merge' that would take place at the end of 2018, in which the [[Reality Cartoon|real world]], aka Dimension 1218, and its sister dimension, C197, were to collide and combine in an event of supposedly-apocalyptic proportions. Lukas, a Squad member, has alleged that this was a holdover from the Idea Guys, but implied that the Squad encouraged these beliefs in Chris.

In November 2018, several previously unreleased Idea Guy videos, such as [[All Star]], [[Tour of Chris's House III]], [[Chris slaps himself]], and [[Chris lost Crystal]] began to be leaked on Chris's Twitter.

In late December 2018, the Squad was doxxed by an unknown party who logged into Chris's Twitter. One of the Squad members then leaked more documents on /cow/. On 30 December 2018, Chris wrote a Twitter post bashing Lukas, also mentioning that Lukas had wanted him to buy [[alcohol|booze]]. As a result of the spotlight being well and truly shone upon their schemes, the Teen Troon Squad has since retreated into the shadows.

<center>{{TTSSaga}}</center>



===GOPony Saga (''13 August 2018 - Present'')===
[[File:GOPONY.png|500px]]

As the [[2010s]] came to a close, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was clearly entering its last days. Since its target audience is school aged children it's a common practice by the more competent animation studios to end those shows before it gets to the point that the kids watching it are younger than the show itself. Afterwards, if said show was part of a franchise, they create a new installment for said franchise. Such a cycle has been happening in My Little Pony since its inception in 1984 and has happened once again. Friendship is Magic ended in [[2019]] with a more light-hearted filler series airing from [[2020]] as a way to tide over the fanbase until the premiere of the new generation, which happened in [[September 2021]] with the release of a movie. The filler series, called MLP: Pony Life struck a major nerve with Chris who holds the belief that Friendship is Magic is meant to have 14 seasons due to delusions rooted in the [[Dimensional Merge]]. This instance, preceded in [[August 2018]] by a panning of the leaked early designs for the G5 ponies were some of the occasional posts of disapproval throughout the close of the decade. For a while it was on Chris' back burner but on 27 [[July 2021]] Chris uploaded a tard rage video demanding that the new My Little Pony generation be cancelled, confirming that Chris holds Sonic Boom-esque feelings towards this. The lulz were subsequently cancelled when Chris admitted to incest.

However, despite his incarceration, this hasn't stopped him from expressing nothing but hatred towards this reboot. Chris had expressed in numberous jail letters about how he believes the reboot has caused major world catastrophes such as the Russo-Ukrainian war.

<center>{{GOPonySaga}}</center>

===Jacob Saga (''14 July - 28 November 2019; 15 July - 26 August 2020'') ===
[[File:Jacob Saga.png|500px]]

Though he had been [[autism|autistically]] obsessed with Chris since around 2018, amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness only made Chris's acquaintance in [[June 2019]], after an unremarkable troll convinced Chris that Sockness would be interested in buying his filthy bathwater. On 14 [[July 2019]], the two agreed to a closer partnership: Sockness would act as a middleman for Chris's [[2019 Sales Listings|merchandise]], in order to evade Chris's [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|eBay ban]]. The two would soon abandon this scheme, however, instead deciding to direct their attention to another of their shared interests; [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|pretending to be gods]]. Their mystical and occultist schemes would cross-pollinate, Jacob's extraterrestrial demons wending their way into the [[Dimensional Merge]]'s logistics. The most notable example being the [[Spirit possession#Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan possession]], in which from [[August 2019]] to [[September 2019]], Chris believed that he swapped minds with [[Magi-Chan]] in order to visit [[Jacob Sockness]] so he wouldn't need to actually do so in real life. The period of Magi-Chan roleplaying lasted an entire month. Jacob's antics with Chris was not ignored, as soon, [[Kiwi Farms|onlookers]] would find out about Jacob and dox him, but Sockness would not be deterred by a mere dox; for he had apparently already doxxed himself long before meeting Chris, and would boast freely and frequently about how he was misleading Chris for his own ends. [[Slow-in-the-minds|Despite the obvious dangers]], Chris continued to believe Jacob's teachings [[honor roll|at face value]], and encouraged his desire to meet in person. In late [[September 2019]], the situation nearly reached a boiling point when Sockness announced that he had secured a train ticket and was traveling from his home in California to [[Charlottesville]], and threatened that he would [[rape|brutally abuse]] Chris after arriving at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Being understandably alarmed by this, Chris [[Chris and negotiation|demanded]] that Sockness return, and with the help of the [[Watchmen]], arranged for a [[white knight|supporter]] to intercept Sockness in Chicago and provide for him to return to San Francisco. Jacob relented, and the two grew more distant. Sockness would temporarily return to Chris's good side in late [[October 2019]] and early [[November 2019]], yet by the end of that month he would once again be cast aside by Chris.

However, in early 2020, Chris once again started to talk to Jacob, believing in Jacob's supposed [[Magical thinking|occult practices]]. Though it appeared that they were coming close to one another again, Chris's and Sockness's relationship would permanently come to an end in [[August 2020]], after Sockness creepily theorized on [[Twitter]] that [[Mia Hamm]] supposedly bared Chris's illegitimate child after they had sex. Although Jacob would make several other attempts to win Chris's favor over the course of the next few months, all attempts would ultimately be unsuccessful.

<center>{{JacobSaga}}</center>

==The Rise (Mid 2018 - 1 August 2021)==

By Mid 2018, with the creation of several [[Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History|documentaries]] pertaining to Chris, a new generation of Christorians had began to form, and awareness of the Chris Chan saga began to rise, further fueled by Chris's expanding fantasy world, partially influenced by webcomic [[Ben Saint]].

In late 2019, a group consisting of [[enablers]] and [[white knights]] was established through [[Discord]] to gatekeep Chris from potential [[trolls]], [[A-Log|A-Logs]], and the aforementioned weens. Much like many other white knights and enablers, they gained Chris's trust by appealing to and indulging in his delusions, specifically ones related to the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddesses]]. They eventually named themselves the Watchmen. The group's primary objective was to protect Chris from trolls.

Alongside the Watchmen, another group of enablers called [[Praetor]] had formed, allowing Chris to profit off of his fantasies (though only at a fraction of what they themselves made), the closest he's gotten to a real job. In conjunction to this, Chris was pumping out more drawings on a consistent basis.

As a result of both groups, and Chris's newer business ventures, Chris's life appeared to become more stable, as there was less interference from trolls, he was now consistently making profits due to a growing fanbase, and he had even found a woman who was actually attracted to him. This era marks the calm before the storm, when most of Chris's activity seemed primarily dormant again, and it appeared that things were going much better for him.

===Copitz Saga (''19 May 2018 - December 2019'')===

On 19 May 2018, the Youtube speedrunner and Twitch user [[Copitz]] had began visiting [[14 Branchland Court]] to record videos of himself with Chris and his friends in several different areas. Some of these videos included ones where Chris was in an abandoned hospital hunting for ghosts, while others had involved several interviews with him.

Copitz would play a major role in the development of the Chris Chan docuseries, [[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]], which consisted of several of their interactions with Chris from the span of December 2019. The documentary series wouldn't be announced or publicized until more than two years later.




===TF2 Analysis Saga (''Late 2018 - 30 October 2020'')===
{{Incomplete}}
[[File:SoftExileBanner.png|500px]]

In [[January 2019]], a slew of people began to block Chris on Twitter, either due to his own harassment or egging on by weens. This caused Chris, naturally, to rage about it, and eventually to protect his Twitter account. For months, he had shown no signs of budging. All of his tweets during this period consisted of complaining about being blocked, or else his dimensional delusions mentioned above. After protecting his Twitter account, he would greatly reduce his social media activity, and in [[June 2019]] even extended to disabling comments again on his [[June 2019 videos|recent videos]]. This period of time also marked Chris's bizarre adoption of the word "[[My Little Pony|Bugbear]]" (a phrase referring to minor annoyances) and employing it almost everywhere in his wild and unclear rants. After several months, Chris's initial bitterness from the blocks seems to have faded, and he opened his Twitter account for the public again.

{{SoftExileSaga}}

===Secret Shipfic Saga (''16 August 2019 - 31 July 2021'')===
[[File:SecretShipficSagaBanner.png|500px]]

On 16 August, 2019, Chris began to create trading cards for his Sonichu comics, much like his [[Wall of Originals]] using a template from the My Little Pony parody game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]''. His most ambitious project in several years, Chris fully embraced the concept, and has seemingly supplanted the ''Sonichu'' comics in favour of the cards as his principal monetary venture. The card game also became Chris's primary means to expand upon the lore of the fantasy world that he has created, and that several trolls from before had provided influence onto. Chris had posted several cards featuring the OCs created by fans and enablers.

[[Ben Saint]] a webcomic artist and creator of the webseires ''Endless War'', had tried to profit off of Chris's infamy by implementing characters from the comic into Sonichu, thereby creating the "Slime Saga". Chris had eventually implemented Ben's characters and ideas into Sonichu in [[Sonichu Special 7]]. However, Ben's attempts at creating a new saga from the ground-up, and promoting his comic, by tinkering with Chris's own comics only proved to be of a very limited success when Chris began ignoring Saint's attempts at provocation by mid-October, and when conflicts of interest had risen between the two creators. Following from this, several white knights and past enablers such as [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[MKRNightVee]] came into the scene in order to regain power over Chris or to justify Chris's actions. When Chris began shifting his focus on his Sonichu comics to the aforementioned card game, Chris had implemented Saint's characters, as well as ideas brought to him by drama surrounding him, and a new wave of [[white knights]] defending Chris's actions, [[enablers]] suggesting new OCs into Chris's now expanding universe, and [[weens|wannabe trolls]] trying to take a piece of Chris's infamy for themselves would show up into the mix.

Chris was able to develop a new fanbase through a series of commissions, and implementing people's [[OCs]] into his canon.

{{ShipficSaga}}

===Watchmen Saga (''Late 2019 - August 2021'')===
[[File:WatchmenSagaBanner.png|500px]]

The Watchmen would gatekeep Chris through means of collecting information, doxing, and harassing anybody attempting to interact or get involved with Chris. The existence of the Watchmen was not publicly known until [[August 2020]], in which they leaked content that they had received from Chris.

The Watchmen would be responsible for and or related to many notable events that took place throughout 2020 and early 2021. Such as removing [[Jacob Sockness]]'s influence over Chris, the previously mentioned [[2020 Discord leaks]], being heavily involved in the [[Discord Q&A]]'s, and having multiple conflicts with members of [[Praetor]].

However, as 2021 continued on, the Watchmen seemingly became less publicly involved with Chris. Things came to a head in [[June 2021]], as internal conflicts among the Watchmen arose, with a member of the group, [[The WCT]], being doxed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] by the leader of the group, [[Naught|Bismuth]]. The WCT then decided to inform Chris of Bismuth doxing him. As a result, Chris recorded a short audio clip saying "Fuck Bismuth!" before leaving [[The Place]], a Discord server run by the Watchmen, while The WCT was being simultaneously banned from it. A few days later, another member of the Watchmen stated on Twitter that Chris had apparently cut contact with her and other Watchmen. This incident effectively ended the most known iteration of the Watchmen.

A new Discord server, entitled [[The Knights of CWC]], was established by [[The WCT]], who invited Chris and several members of the Watchmen. In the meantime, Chris was also set to attend the brony convention [[Everfree Northwest]]. Chris was already in contact with a troll and sweetheart named [[Isabella Loretta Janke|Isabella "Bella" Janke]], who was later known for claiming to have had plots to harm Chris. Chris was also secretly in contact with another sweetheart codenamed as "[[The Suitress]]", a young autistic woman who had a genuine crush on him, who had planned to meet him at the convention. Chris would introduce the Suitress to Bella in WCT's Knights server. The both of them had agreed to serve as bodyguards to protect Chris from [[Jacob Sockness]], who swore to attend the event in disguise. Bella would also agree to serve as Chris's "photographer".

Chris would remain active in the Knights of CWC server all the way up until [[Jail Saga|his arrest on 1 August 2021]] due to his incestuous behavior with Barbara. When Bella attempted and failed to damage control her name, she would trick the WCT into believing that a set of fabricated texts she made that alleged Chris was having BDSM-style sex with Barb were real, and that the Suitress had also owned a copy of these texts of her own. WCT sharing these texts, along with partially revealing the Suitress's identity would get him in hot water, and cause many Watchmen members to turn tail.

<center>{{WatchmenSaga}}</center>



===Praetor Saga (''October 2020 - Present'')===
[[File:PraetorSagaBanner.jpg|500px]]

On October 2020, Chris would be seen in a photo posing with several members of a group refered to as Praetor. This group would sell Chris-related merchandise with his permission. Most of the merchadise that Praetor had sould would have been used as a means for Chris to profit off of his fantasies amist the Financhu Crisis, creating his very own cult. Chris had a sermon regarding the Dimensional Merge at the Goochland Library. Praetor had also created special Golden Medallions which would give customers access to the Golden Church of Sonichu.

By the time Chris had interacted with Praetor, Chris had also gotten in touch with a new sweetheart, Isabella "Bella" Loretta Janke, who created an animated intro for him by his request. Bella also acted very nice around Chris, which would cause her to gain much trust from him. However, Bella also displayed notable A-logging elsewhere, claiming that she wanted to get Chris to harm himself or commit suicide, and even claiming that she tried to persuade other Praetor members to convince him to cut his penis off.

Praetor was also a target of the white-knight group, the Watchmen. Most infamously, Praetor promoted the sale of tasers and stun guns on their Etsy page to simulate "zapping to the extreme". A taser and Pikachu mask would be found in their shopping cart. Chris stated on 21 February 2021 that he wanted to use a taser in order to activate the Dimensional Merge by zapping his [[Gate Crystal]]. Following this, Chris engaged in a call with Praetor leader Caden Peck and several Watchmen members, discouraging him from taking this course of action. A chunk of the full call would be leaked, leaving out much of the key context in the full call, and many rumors about the group and the call would be spread by Watchmen leader [[Naught]], Larry Vaughn, and Bella on the Kiwi Farms, as well as by the Christuber [[GiBi]] on his own YouTube channel.

<center>{{PraetorSaga}}</center>

===Warhol Saga (''24 May - 19 September 2021'')===

In May 2021 Chris discovered an Amazon listing for a fake book made by Don Lashomb that favorably compared him to mid-century pop artist Andy Warhol. Naturally this inflated his ego and caused him to devote several tweets to said comparison. Later he went on to begin reviewing the book and made Tweets featuring his takes on the ween's compliments. Chris would make several periodic tweets throughout summer 2021, reviewing the book as he went along.

Despite Lashomb cutting ties with Chris, Chris would continue to promote the book.

{{WarholSaga}}


===Incest Saga (''26 June 2021 - 31 July 2021'')===
[[File:IncestSagaBanner.png|600px]]

During the beginning of 2021, Chris exhibited [[Lonely feelings|many signs of sexual frustration]] much more intense than ever before, to the point of openly discussing this with several Watchmen members, as well as crushing on [[MKRNightVee|several]] [[Annie Ikenberry|females]] [[Bella|of]] [[The Suitress|interest]] all at once, and having wet dreams involving cartoon characters<ref>[[:File:ThePlace1stLayer 02Feb21 - almost sex dream.png]]</ref>. Towards the end of June, Chris grew impatient and decided to release this sexual frustration on his own mother. Chris would do this over the span of one month every three days. Chris would hint at this affair over this timespan, referring to Barb as a "Sweetheart over 50".

On 5 July 2021, Null would be one of the first people that Chris would confess to having a "sweetheart over 50".

On 13 July 2021, Chris would also confess to Bella that he was having an affair with the "sweetheart over 50". About two weeks later, on the the 28th, he would further confess in a 4-hour call that this sweetheart was actually his mother. The following night, when Bella had given her an edited 9 minute version of the call, the Suitress initiated leaks of it by sharing a further edited 4-minute version of the call, and then the full 9 minutes when people doubted its legitimacy. Bella would end up doing damage control to her name soon after, which ended up with her getting discovered.

On 31 July 2021, two days after the initial leak, Greene County police were contacted and Chris was removed from his property, with Barb also being taken to a hospital for a checkup. An emergency protection order was also taken out against Chris, forbidding him from contacting Barb or setting foot on his property for a week.

<center>{{IncestSaga}}</center>



==The Silent Years (''1 August 2021 to Present'')==
After enjoying nearly 14 years of being an infamous YouTuber with a cult following, Chris's notability rose as his reputation plummeted. His name trended on Twitter as local news picked up on his largest controversy yet, accompanied by many major shifts in Chris's life.

===Jail Saga (''1 August 2021 - 27 March 2023'')===
[[File:Jail Saga Banner.png|600px]]

On 1 August, Chris was arrested outside the Regency Inn he was staying at, and the next day was officially charged for incest. By the end of the month, it was discovered that Barb had returned home, and that the Chandlers' car had been returned to her, with new numberplates replacing the SONICHU ones. During that period, Chris was being held in Central Virginia Regional Jail without bond.

This saga is notable for the [[jail letters]], a series of letters Chris has written to fans and wannabe trolls alike, answering their questions and providing a stream of information about his current delusions and stay in jail. A vast majority of these letters would be Chris's ramblings of being a messianic figure, as well as being a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. Chris's desperation to get out of jail would show all throughout the saga.

After three continuances, On 28 February 2022, Chris was transferred and committed into the [[Western State Hospital]] mental institution in Staunton, Virginia (formerly known as the Western State Lunatic Asylum) for a competency evaluation before his next hearing.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> During his stay, Chris was allegedly [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|pinned down]] by the orderlies on his last day in the facility.

Chris was eventually transferred back to the Central Virginia Regional Jail on 3 May 2022. The period between these two transfers would prove to be one of the more silent moments in Christory, due to such facilities having strict measures regarding the interactions between its patients and the outside world.

Chris's last hearing had occured on 22 July 2022, where Chris's case was elevated to the circuit court, and sent to a grand jury for a potential felony charge. On 5 August 2022, David Heilberg had issued a motion for an autism disorder deference for Chris's case, where he is placed under probation terms and supervised. A transportation order for Chris has also been made on 10 August 2022. A review of Chris's case following the deference has been scheduled for 8 August 2023.

On 27 March 2023, Chris was released from custody.<ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023.png]]</ref><ref>[[:File:VineLink Out of Custody 27 March 2023 - 1 49 pm update.png]]</ref>

<center>{{PrisonSaga}}</center>



===Post-Jail (''27 March 2023 - Present'')===
[[File:PostJailSagaBanner.png|600px]]

In the aftermath of the incest and jail sagas, Chris had taken on a status quite similar to [https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/EDP445 EDP445] after he was exposed for pedophilia, with a new wave of [[YouTube]] coverage, [[passive observers|observers]], and [[weens]].

In May, Chris was spotted multiple times doing his daily activities, for the first time since being arrested.
<center>{{PostJailSaga}}</center>

==The Future==
Normally, mistakes present a life lesson. In theory, the various sagas should have taught Chris the consequences of [[Honest content|oversharing]], [[ego]]tism, [[hypocrisy]], [[naive|blind trust]], [[anger]], and more. Above all, the moral of most of Chris's sagas boils down to a classic Abraham Lincoln quote: '''don't believe everything you see on the Internet.'''<ref group = "note">Or was it [[Daniel Weston]] who said it?</ref>

Nevertheless, if anything remains clear, it is that Chris is nearly incapable of applying past events to current ones. The fact that Chris eventually hit the low of having sex with his own mother has most certainly cemented his future, with little to no good coming out of it. Trolls and his current wave of [[Unholy Tetrad|orbiters]] are now the least of Chris's worries, now that he has been evicted from his home, and had all forms of financial support taken away from him after he lied about stealing money from his mother.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

{{Notes}}
{{References}}
{{Newbie}}
{{Timeline}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Magical Man

2022-12-24T06:29:57Z

Buick lesabre: /* Identity */

{{Infobox Person
|name = The Magical Man
|title = Magical Man
|image = Magical Man Potion.png|
|imagesize = 250px
|gender = Male
|race = White
|saga = {{saga|emily|cn}}
}}

In late [[February 2010]], Chris made several videos involving a unknown person codenamed the "'''Magical Man'''", most notably the [[Magical Man Potion]] video in which this man portrays Chris's alter ego. As one of a select few people to be filmed inside the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler household]], and for years the only one outside of Chris's immediate family, this "Magical Man" has been the subject of intense speculation.

This remains one of the more mysterious unanswered questions of the Chris-Chan saga. Originally it was believed that his appearance would herald the beginning of new epic misadventures for Chris, prompting heated speculation about his motives and plans. Since Magical Man never appeared again, the matter became completely trivial. However, since Chris's trolls have become [[autism|autistic]] by [[Toucher_and_Rich_Segment#Chris.27s_Response|gluing all of their attention to computers]], it's hard to let things go at that.

Chris has revealed that the Magical Man is a friend of [[Kim Wilson]]'s, but his full identity remains unknown.

==Appearances==
[[Image:Cameraman.png|thumb|right|250px|The Magical Man's reflection inadvertently captured on camera in [[Rollin' and Trollin']]]]
His presence was first felt in July 2009 in [[Rollin' and Trollin']], where he films Chris walking around downtown [[Charlottesville]] and asks him questions from off-screen.

Seven months later the Magical Man again lent his services as cameraman for Chris's [[Christian Love Day (video)|23 February address]] on the eve of [[Christian Love Day]]. Chris quotes from [[Wikipedia:Independence Day (film)|''Independence Day'']] and talks about an impending "personal change," foreshadowing his next video. Chris would later deny knowing where the speech was copied from, claiming that it was written for him by his friend.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]: "Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine."</ref> At the time, though, there was no major indication of anything special going on. The video is of noticeably [[Chris and cinematography|higher quality]] than Chris's usual shit, and the camera is clearly being held by someone rather than being set in a fixed position, but a troll happening to notice these things might chalk it up to Chris wasting money on a new camera and getting [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] to hold it for him.

The troll world collectively shit bricks, however, when Chris later uploaded [[Magical Man Potion]], a skit in which he plays a mad scientist who concocts a [[Wikipedia:Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde|Jekyll and Hyde]]-style potion. Viewers expecting Chris's "[[Wikipedia:The Nutty Professor|Buddy Love]]" to just be [[Ian Brandon Anderson|himself in a shitty costume]] were astonished to see a rather handsome man, wearing [[Chris and fashion|similar clothes to Chris]] and quoting [[Wikipedia:Beetlejuice|''Beetlejuice'']]. That Chris could successfully recruit someone to appear in one of his videos, or that a troll could successfully infiltrate his [[Chris's room|''sanctum sanctorum'']], captivated the imaginations of trolls everywhere.

A third video, [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]], saw Chris show his [[PS3]] menus to his mystery guest, who filmed the whole thing. Throughout the video the man tries to feign interest in every stupid thing Chris shows him, and he later begins panning around the room to get footage of the stuff plastered on Chris's walls.

A few days later, Chris uploaded [[29 January 2010|an apology]] to Alec, and commented ''"my friend had told me the truth of how my past words against Alec and [[Asperpedia|his crew]] were making me look like a troll. I banged my head against a wall in realization and embarassment right before I started that video."''<ref>[[Sonichu_Forum#There_was_zero_risk_of_serious_injury]]</ref> This "friend" was quite possibly the mysterious visitor, to whom Chris probably babbled about those dang dirty [[troll]]s.

==Identity==
Chris has received relatively normal guests on his eighteenth birthday<ref>[[My big 18th party]]</ref>, so it's not impossible that trolls speculated that the Magical Man was a family member, [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church member]] or acquaintance who happened to bring a camera and let Chris use it. However, his interest in filming [[Chris's room]] may indicate his true motives as a field agent trying to go where no [[troll]] had gone before.

In trying to make sense of the Magical Man, many quickly jumped to the conclusion that he had to be someone we've already heard of, such as [[Clyde Cash]] or [[Alec Benson Leary]]. On several occasions<ref>[[Brutal Legend Plus]]: Chris refers to [[Liquid Chris]] as his friend.</ref><ref>[[CWC_Blog#14 March 2010]]: Chris lists [[Vivian Gee]] as one of his [[gal-pals]], in spite of their [[Death threats|past differences]].</ref> Chris has forgiven and tried to befriend enemies when he thinks he has made them see reason, so it's not impossible.

On 2 [[March 2010]], Chris announced that he had made peace with Alec and that Alec had given him an [[Asperchu medallion]],<ref>[[02 March 2010]]</ref> which is believed to be the same medallion the mystery guest wore in the potion video. This strengthened the case that the Magical Man was Alec, burying the hatchet with Chris in person. However, this was debunked when the 25 February phone conversation between Alec and Chris was released, in which their relationship is still quite chilly and Alec doesn't know what Chris did on his birthday. Most likely, Chris had received the medallion in the mail prior to his birthday, and it was totally unrelated to Magical Man until it came in handy as a prop for the transformation.

On 10 [[February 2012]], nearly 15 days before the 25 February conversations began, evidence surfaced that a user on #sonichu, [[PodMonkey]], is the true Magical Man, citing a Skype log with [[Kacey]] as evidence.<ref>[http://pastebin.com/QFk7AxZE]</ref> However, on the [[CWCki Forums]] the [[Man_in_the_Pickle_Suit#The_Jew_in_the_Pickle_Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]] denied that it was PodMonkey. Christorians continue to speculate on who he is.

Whoever the Magical Man is, he most likely has chosen not to disclose his real information. If he is still active in the trolling community, he evidently has no interest in taking credit for his accomplishments or exploiting his relationship to Chris, perhaps deriving quiet satisfaction from his identity being one of the greatest unsolved mysteries in all of Christory.

===2017===
In [[September 2017]], internet personality Merryweathery secured an interview with Chris on his ''[[Internet Dream Lounge]]'' podcast. Opening up to [[Kiwi Farms]], Merryweather revealed that Chris had an "interesting answer" with regards to a question on the identity of the man:
{{Quoteboxpurple|Chris remembered him, and had an interesting answer. We talked a lot about Chris' real life encounters with trolls, and some new information about the man in the pickle suit.

I hope the interview wont be boring. We really tried our best. There are some slightly boring parts, but we'll try to slim it down to the best of our abilities.}}

In the interview, Chris remarked that the Magical Man is a friend of one his [[Gal pal|gal pals]] ― he did not say which. When asked by Merryweathery, he stated that they were introduced as an attempt to get Chris comfortable with having [[JERKS|male]] friends. He also stated that the Magical Man is now a ''married man'', having married in his early 30s. Given this was after his appearance in Chris's videos, it can be assumed that he is around Chris's age. Chris added that he has not really kept in touch with him much since his marriage.

During the events of [[Jessica Quinn#Second breakup|Jessica's breakup with Chris]], upset by [[Kim Wilson]]'s misunderstanding of the situation, Chris blurted out that Kim is the gal pal who knows Magical Man's identity.<ref>[[:File:Chris_vs_Kim_Wilson_Oct_2017.png|Jessica breakup conversation with Kim]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

{{EmilySaga}}
{{People}}

[[Category: Chris's alter egos]][[Category: Trolls]]

Ruckersville, VA

2022-12-22T05:23:37Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Quote|Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any [[Sweethearts|young adults]] hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any [[Chris and English|better or nicer]].|Ruckersville's most famous citizen.<ref>[[July 2013 Facebook Posts#Ruckersville review]]</ref>}}

{{infobox
| title = Ruckersville
| image = [[File:ChrisRuckersvilleSign.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Country
|data1 = [[United States]]
|label2 = State
|data2 = [[Virginia]]
|label3 = County
|data3 = [[Greene County Conspiracy|Greene]]
|label4 = Coordinates
|data4 = 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W
|label5 = Classification
|data5 = Census-designated place
|label6 = Date established
|data6 = 1732
|label7 = Population
|data7 = 1,484 (2020)<ref>https://www.census.gov/search-results.html?searchType=web&cssp=SERP&q=Ruckersville%20CDP,%20Virginia</ref>
|label8 = Zip/post code
|data8 = 22968
|label9 = Area code
|data9 = 434
|header10 = Website
|data10 = Unavailable
|header11 = Notable for
|data11 = Home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
}}

'''Ruckersville''' is a [[Wikipedia:census-designated place|census-designated place]] in Greene County, [[Virginia]], and part of the [[Charlottesville]] metropolitan area. It also happened to be the home of [[Chris]] and the capital of all things [[Sonichu]]-related, until [[August 2021]], when Chris's arrest for [[Affair with Mother|incest]] saw him relocated to a jail in Orange, VA. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the [[Richmond]] suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return in [[2000]].

Ruckersville markets itself to tourists as a "scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views", a "safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Chandlers|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]]" and "a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion". In reality, Ruckersville is a dull, boring, suburb of a suburb of Washington D.C., full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture: a sleepy location without any real tourism to liven itself up; somewhere with no real business or career opportunities, a place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with broken lawnmowers and [[Son-Chu|junked cars]], and where even a family as infamous as the [[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]] can exist relatively unnoticed. Even so, over 86% of the town's population from before Chris moved back has since abandoned it for Charlottesville proper to the south.<ref>https://www.mapquest.com/us/virginia/ruckersville-va-282036443</ref> Given its dwindling population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Philip Morris (no relation to [[Tobacky|Philip Morris USA/International]]). The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse never to leave [[Chris's room|his room]], let alone get a [[job]].

[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], there is literally nothing noteworthy in Ruckersville.]]

Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a late 90s time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days.

==Geography==
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain. Its surrounding landscape, composed mainly of fields, thin forest, and meandering housing developments, extends from the larger settlement of [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Even the terrain is boring, although the [[A Hike|Blue Ridge Mountains]] are a short drive away.

The town is also far from any real civilization: it lies 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville, 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]], and approximately 100 miles (160 km) from [[Pmurt|Washington, D.C.]] Along with the rest of Greene County, it is located within the Charlottesville, Virginia Metropolitan Statistical Area. It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply [[Stress|did not care]].

Housing prices in Ruckersville are generally decent,<ref>[https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/Ruckersville,-VA_rb/ Zillow Real Estate listings for Ruckersville, VA]</ref> but this is most likely because it is the epitome of a commuter or dormitory town, being almost entirely meant for people who work in Charlottesville to come home and promptly [[crash into slumber]], with very little else to offer. Crime rates in Ruckersville are also happily, if unsurprisingly, low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], and likely so are any other criminals living here.

==Culture==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What's culture?]]

To be fair, it's an older city than Los Angeles.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red icon.
Image:Ruckersville house prices near 14BC.jpeg|House prices in the vicinity of [[14 Branchland Court|14BC]] reported on Zillow, c.2019. Note that Chris's house doesn't even have an estimated valuation.
Image:14 branchland court gmaps.png|A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. ''Wow''!
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|And no backwater suburb is complete without replaceable block-letter church signs! (No relation to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]).
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did John Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
File:Chris at Ruckersville sign, April 2019.jpg|Chris posing at the Ruckersville sign, [[April 2019]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[14 Branchland Court]]
*[[Charlottesville, VA]]
*[[Ohio trip|Cleveland, OH]]
*[[Chris's room]]
*[[DayOut]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Ruckersville,_Virginia|Wikipedia article]]
*[https://www.exploregreene.com/ Greene County Tourism info]
*[https://www.google.ca/maps/place/Ruckersville,+VA+22968,+USA/@38.1983145,-78.5129084,11z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x89b4721b1fc3b627:0x4eee8a3bf4546cf9/ Google Street Map View]
{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Son-Chu

2022-12-22T04:05:18Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu, until his [[Jail Saga#Arrest|arrest]] for [[Affair with Mother|incest]] and a thief stealing the unattended vehicle's plates, at which point the plates have been replaced and the van is now Barb's alone. The van was totaled in [[November 2021]] following a T-bone collision which left Barb injured with broken ribs and a concussion.<ref name=27nov>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref>

It is not known when Chris obtained his driver's license. In [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], made near the end of Chris's senior year of [[high school]], Chris documents himself riding home from school on the (short) bus, suggesting that he still had not learned to drive at this point. At the latest, Chris would have needed to obtain a license by fall [[2000]] in order to drive to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer drivable and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. Considering Chris's history of automotive maintenance (particularly his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First), plus Bob no longer being around to do it for him, it's more than likely that the engine damage resulted from simply being neglected.

The car was sold at auction over the winter and repaired. In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors in Maryland, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold in July of that year to someone who would probably treat it better. The car is still on the road to this day, beating the odds and surviving Chandler ownership.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref> Chris never bought anything to replace it and instead started driving Barb's minivan during the winter of 2018-2019.

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owned a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb. Most likely this was a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his tugboat on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[Incest call]] completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

The van was returned to the Chandler Household around, or exactly on 29 August 2021, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

On 23 [[November 2021]], Barb, not having her son to drive her anywhere, experienced a traffic accident with a tractor-trailer. The van got T-boned on its left side, with the airbags not deployed, resulting in Barb breaking two of her ribs and getting a concussion.<ref name=27nov></ref> The van was totaled and Barb was charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident and paid a $30 fine and $76 in court costs.

<center>
<gallery>
File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord1.jpg|Carfax report on the November 2021 crash.
File:2002DodgeCaravanCrashRecord2.jpg|Carfax report, part 2
File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png|Barb's Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.
</gallery>
</center>

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/drivers/#disability/apply_assist.asp Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]</ref><ref>[https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/drivers/#disability/renewal.asp Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:The Chris Chan Conspiracy - Framed Son-Chu License Plate.png|thumb|200px|Another vanity plate seen in a frame at 14 Branchland Court in footage shown in the second episode of ''[[The Chris Chan Conspiracy]]''.]]
[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|200px|A vanity plate thief shows off the stolen plate on [[4chan]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate was fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

The SONICHU plate was a favorite target for thieves. One such theft occurred to the Dodge Caravan after Chris was arrested for incest on 1 August 2021, which resulted in the van being unattended at a motel parking lot. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime.
{{clear}}
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<center>
{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
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==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100110134110/http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a now-defunct local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100106062022/http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions and near-misses===
Chris and Barb have wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:
{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}
* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>
* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>
* On 23 [[November 2021]], [[Barb]] failed to yield the right-of-way<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> in an accident with a tractor trailer, totaling her Dodge Caravan.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 27 November 2021]]</ref><ref>https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/roanoke-valley-news/rockbridge-county-tractor-trailer-crash-leads-to-miles-of-delays-along-i-81-north/</ref>

{{-}}

==Other incidents==
* On 10 December [[2002]], Barb was pulled over in [[wikipedia:Louisa County, Virginia|Louisa County]] and charged with a defective right-side brake light. She ultimately paid $47.00 in court costs.<ref>[[:File:Barbchan2.PNG]]</ref>
* On 26 [[February 2009]], Chris locked himself out of his car during the [[Ohio trip]].
* In [[April 2019]], Chris lost his wallet at a gas station in [[wikipedia:Newport News, Virginia|Newport News, Virginia]] after placing it on top of his van, forgetting it, and driving away. The wallet was turned into the local police station where Chris retrieved it later that month.<ref>[[April 2019 social media posts#Chris Loses His Wallet]]</ref>

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Messiah complex

2021-10-12T17:37:36Z

Buick lesabre: /* See also */

{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|I do have a job, dipshit. It is literally called being a literal Goddess and protecting as many of your Sorry hides from the casualties of the Dimension Merge, in Progress.|Demonstrating his megalomania<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/March_2021_social_media_posts#Workaholic_comic</ref>}}

[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Chris and religion|Chris explicitly invoking his own name as a deity]] [[Spirit possession|while pretending to be]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[My Little Pony Protests|as part of his open disdain for ''Pony Life'']].]]

A '''messiah complex''' is the mental state of those who believe they are, or will become, saviors. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] started demonstrating symptoms of this type of psychosis alongside his worsening narcissism and increase in maladapative [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanisms.

In the latter half of the 2010s Chris increasingly started resorting to his fantasy world as a way of [[coping]] with the pressures of [[reality]] and, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]]' cult-like grip, (who utilized [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|a parody series about video game deities]] to [[manipulate]] Chris), he gradually built up a belief that these deities really existed in another dimension, and copied the lore about them to make up an imaginary counterpart of himself with their powers, [[CPU Blue Heart]]. Chris also attempted without success to orchestrate a [[Dimensional Merge]] to unite himself with said counterpart to gain an array of godlike powers, all as a maladaptive coping mechanism against his bleak life.

==Origin of the Messiah complex==
{{main|Chris and his ego#Narcissistic personality disorder|Chris and coping}}

Chris's messiah complex grew out of two already existing problems he had, namely his narcissism and his maladaptive coping mechanisms.

[[Chris and reality|Since before his discovery, Chris believed he had magic powers]]; he used to curse people he didn't like ([[JERKS|men]]) and bless people he liked ([[women]]). [[Curse ye ha me ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|Due to trolls acting like these curses actually worked]], Chris got the confirmation that some of his powers were real. He also thought God and Jesus had a special interest in his life and were appearing in his dreams to help him.

In his comics Chris gave himself god like powers to beat up the people he didn't like and change IRL situations where he was punished by authorities to a situation where he won against the authorities i.e, a Mary Sue. For a long time comic Chris and real Chris were separate individuals in Chris's mind, but with the coming of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad]] the line between reality and fiction got blurred and he mixed himself and his self insert up.

As he had to prove to the fans that his newfound magic powers were real, he came up with the most rational solution he could think of; the dimensional merge. This helped blow his messiah complex out of proportion.

==Dimensional Merge==
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

The Merge is a concept where two dimensions, one where Chris is a loser and another where he is a god are merging where the end result is a single Chris with godlike powers. The Idea Guys created the concept of the merge and Chris immediately believed it because it provided an explanation as to why his powers are being activated after 36 years of his miserable existence.

This was most likely created as a means of [[coping]] from his life where he was the man of the house and had to take care of his mother, pay bills and do tasks he considers to be [[stress|stressful]]. He also uses the merge to justify why he does nothing daily and to give himself hope that things might get better in the future.

To stroke his [[ego]] and get confirmation that his godlike powers are being activated, he made his fictional characters worship him, for him these [[OCs|characters are living]] and their worship is equivalent to worship by actual people. Seeing this, many [[enablers]] also started worshipping him and created a religion based on him to get on his good side. Due to all this reaffirmation in his believes he started thinking he is a god.

==Examples of the Messiah complex==
*Phrases such as "Oh, My Chris Chan!"<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref><ref>[[:File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg]]</ref> and "Chris Chan Sonichu is watching over you"<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1271137941411299330</ref> – replacing the word "God" with his nickname.

*Asked people to pray to him multiple times.

*Has said he is looks over others lives to make sure no bad happens to them (though one person he was looking over did get divorced).

*Claims to make sure (many) people don't die of [[COVID-19|diseases]].

*Believing that he is straight up Jesus Christ of Nazareth reincarnated.<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Null]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]
*[[Chris and coping]]
*[[Jail Letter 1]]
*[[Jail Letter 2]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Messiah complex

2021-10-01T05:34:46Z

Buick lesabre: /* Examples of the Messiah complex */

{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|I do have a job, dipshit. It is literally called being a literal Goddess and protecting as many of your Sorry hides from the casualties of the Dimension Merge, in Progress.|Demonstrating his megalomania<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/March_2021_social_media_posts#Workaholic_comic</ref>}}

[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Chris and religion|Chris explicitly invoking his own name as a deity]] [[Spirit possession|while pretending to be]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[My Little Pony Protests|as part of his open disdain for ''Pony Life'']].]]

A '''messiah complex''' is the mental state of those who believe they are, or will become, saviors. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] started demonstrating symptoms of this type of psychosis alongside his worsening narcissism and increase in maladapative [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanisms.

In the latter half of the 2010s Chris increasingly started resorting to his fantasy world as a way of [[coping]] with the pressures of [[reality]] and, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]]' cult-like grip, (who utilized [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|a parody series about video game deities]] to [[manipulate]] Chris), he gradually built up a belief that these deities really existed in another dimension, and copied the lore about them to make up an imaginary counterpart of himself with their powers, [[CPU Blue Heart]]. Chris also attempted without success to orchestrate a [[Dimensional Merge]] to unite himself with said counterpart to gain an array of godlike powers, all as a maladaptive coping mechanism against his bleak life.

==Origin of the Messiah complex==
{{main|Chris and his ego#Narcissistic personality disorder|Chris and coping}}

Chris's messiah complex grew out of two already existing problems he had, namely his narcissism and his maladaptive coping mechanisms.

[[Chris and reality|Since before his discovery, Chris believed he had magic powers]]; he used to curse people he didn't like ([[JERKS|men]]) and bless people he liked ([[women]]). [[Curse ye ha me ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|Due to trolls acting like these curses actually worked]], Chris got the confirmation that some of his powers were real. He also thought God and Jesus had a special interest in his life and were appearing in his dreams to help him.

In his comics Chris gave himself god like powers to beat up the people he didn't like and change IRL situations where he was punished by authorities to a situation where he won against the authorities i.e, a Mary Sue. For a long time comic Chris and real Chris were separate individuals in Chris's mind, but with the coming of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad]] the line between reality and fiction got blurred and he mixed himself and his self insert up.

As he had to prove to the fans that his newfound magic powers were real, he came up with the most rational solution he could think of; the dimensional merge. This helped blow his messiah complex out of proportion.

==Dimensional Merge==
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

The Merge is a concept where two dimensions, one where Chris is a loser and another where he is a god are merging where the end result is a single Chris with godlike powers. The Idea Guys created the concept of the merge and Chris immediately believed it because it provided an explanation as to why his powers are being activated after 36 years of his miserable existence.

This was most likely created as a means of [[coping]] from his life where he was the man of the house and had to take care of his mother, pay bills and do tasks he considers to be [[stress|stressful]]. He also uses the merge to justify why he does nothing daily and to give himself hope that things might get better in the future.

To stroke his [[ego]] and get confirmation that his godlike powers are being activated, he made his fictional characters worship him, for him these [[OCs|characters are living]] and their worship is equivalent to worship by actual people. Seeing this, many [[enablers]] also started worshipping him and created a religion based on him to get on his good side. Due to all this reaffirmation in his believes he started thinking he is a god.

==Examples of the Messiah complex==
*Phrases such as "Oh, My Chris Chan!"<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref><ref>[[:File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg]]</ref> and "Chris Chan Sonichu is watching over you"<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1271137941411299330</ref> – replacing the word "God" with his nickname.

*Asked people to pray to him multiple times.

*Has said he is looks over others lives to make sure no bad happens to them (though one person he was looking over did get divorced).

*Claims to make sure (many) people don't die of [[COVID-19|diseases]].

*Believing that he is straight up Jesus Christ of Nazareth reincarnated.<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Null]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]
*[[Chris and coping]]
*[[Chris's letter from jail]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Fan visits

2021-09-29T04:44:07Z

Buick lesabre: /* Phillip Jeffries */

{{Protip|If you're thinking about taking a trip to personally check on Barb after [[Incest|what's happened]], then don't. She has been through enough in the past few months as it is, and she is probably better off being left alone.}}

In recent years, Chris and/or Barb have occasionally been '''visited by fans''' at their [[14 Branchland Court|house]].

==Joey Vance==
[[File:JvanceandChris.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris with Joey (far left) and his brother.]]

On 18 [[October 2019]], '''Joey Vance''' and his older brother visited [[Sonichu Headquarters]] to meet Chris. Their accounts were posted on Reddit in r/ChrisChanSonichu the next day.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/dk6ttx/look_who_i_met_the_other_day_im_in_the_back_lol/ Original Post] ([http://archive.li/ZznCn Archive])</ref>

The two brothers were initially visiting [[Charlottesville]] and since [[Ruckersville]] just happens to be in their way, Joey decided to make the most of their time together to personally visit Chris. The overall visit was described as a calm experience between the two parties, with the older brother (known by his Reddit handle xv5qx) even giving a [[Sonic]] toy as a "peace offering". One interesting note Joey mentioned is the fact that Chris smells of [[weed]]. Whether the musk is the result of his usual poor [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|hygiene]] or his new [[Teen Troon Squad|drug habit]] is still up for debate.

===Audio===
Joey also recorded conversations regarding [[Jacob Sockness]].
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Chat with Christine Weston Chandler/Chris Chan
| ytid = HGXar9jLaq0
| stardate = 19 [[October 2019]]
| maker = Joey Vance 2
| previous = [[ChrisReleasesAStatementRegardingJacobSockness‎‎]]
| next = [[Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire]]
| subject = {{Jacob|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[A [[Clover and Snoopy|dog]] is heard whining eerily throughout the video]

'''Chris''': [Faintly] Hello?

'''Joey's Brother''': Hey, are you Christian Chandler?

'''Chris''': Yes...

'''Joey's Brother''': We live in the area- sorry to bother you- we've been fans for a few years and stuff and...

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Joey's Brother''': though we'd kinda give some gifts

'''Chris''': Oh, thank you.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': That's very nice.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah. Its nice to meet you dude.

'''Chris''': Yeah. It's nice to meet you both.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah. Anyway, how have you been?

'''Chris''': I've been doing alright.

'''Joey's Brother''': That's cool.

'''Chris''': Ahh been doing very well, you knowsshh having to cope with [[Jacob_Sockness#Abortive_Virginia_trip|the events-]]

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah, I- I heard about the- the situation with the guy, I'm sorry to hear about that.

'''Chris''': Well don't worry about that, it's all cool.

'''Joey's Brother''': We're all looking out for your best interests, and you definitely have our support so-

'''Chris''': Thank- [[Homos|I love your blue eyes.]]

'''Joey's Brother''': Oh, appreciate it. I you- [[Heterochromia|blue and green eyes]], they're really cool.

[Pause]

'''Joey's Brother''': That's awesome! Yeah. So, anyway, um is it cool if we get a selfie or something?

'''Chris''': Yeah-

==Aggravating Art==
[[File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto2.png|thumb|250px|Chris with Aggravating Art.]]
On 20 [[February 2021]], a Ruckersville local by the handle of '''Aggravating_Art_2982''', along with his older brother and his brother's girlfriend visited Chris and documented his experience on [[Reddit]]'s r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit.<ref>[https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/lojfvv/me_and_my_brother_met_chris_today_ask_away/ Original Post] ([https://archive.md/MFjjm Archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto1.png|Chris getting uncomfortably close with Aggravating Art's brother's girlfriend while looking like a stoned {{w|Rick Moranis}}.
File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto3.png|Aggravating Art on the gazebo.
</gallery></center>
===Video===
Aggravating Art also recorded a short video featuring Chris's wardrobe.
{{Infobox/video
| name = CHRIS CHAN DRIP OUT
| ytid = tQsTwz_Y_Vc
| stardate = 20 [[February 2021]]
| subject =
| style =
| shirt = Patriotic Muumuu
| saga =
| other =
| maker =
| previous = [[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]
| next = [[Chris Kisses Rosechu]]
}}

==Anon on /pol/==
On 28 [[June 2021]], an anonymous user on [[4chan]]'s /pol/ board visited 14 Branchlord Court to take pictures of the house and [[Son-chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|the Dodge Caravan]]. The user played the flute near [[Patti]]'s old doghouse and apparently saw Chris peeking through a window in the house.

<center><gallery>
File:June2021Visit1.jpg|
File:June2021Visit2.jpg|
File:June2021VisitThread.png|A screencap of the original 4chan thread.
</gallery></center>

==Phillip Jeffries==
On 29 [[August 2021]], during the fallout of [[Incest|the incest incident]] and the [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|August 2021 arrest]], a [[Kiwi Farms]] user called Phillip_Jeffries visited 14 Branchlord Court with a friend in order to see the condition of the aforementioned Dodge Caravan and [[Chandler cats|the cats]]. Phillip was able to confirm that the vehicle was back at the house, and that at least two cats, Baby and Sylvia, were still living at the residence. Most notably, it was also confirmed that Barbara had returned to the house and that the Caravan had been registered with replacement license plates.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387/</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:August2021House1.jpg|
File:August2021House2.jpg|
File:August2021House3.jpg|
File:August2021House4.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Barb Visit==
On 20 [[September 2021]], a pair of weens checked up on Barb to ask about Chris, unknowingly recording the audio of the meeting. Barb was previously described as looking frail, more "gone" than usual, and growing facial hair.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387/page-48#post-9991909</ref> Barb seemed to be confused when asked about where her son was while [[Clover and Snoopy|Clover]] howled at the door.

The video was then posted to the r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ps1foq/i_went_to_chris_chans_house_and_met_barb/</ref> but the original video was taken down before being mirrored.

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = I went to Chis Chan's house and met Barb...
| ytid = 6cd_VfIhRBg
| stardate = [[September 2021]]
}}

===Transcript===
''[dog whimpering throughout the video]''

'''Woman''': Hey. Um, I was just wondering if Chris was home. ''[steps in front of her friend to get closer to Barb]'' I was just wondering if Chris was home.

'''Barbara''': Pardon?

'''Woman''': Y- is Chris home?

'''Barbara''': I do not understand.

'''Woman''': My- My friend Chris, I was just wondering if Chris was here.

'''Barbara''': No.

'''Woman''': Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry to bother. ''[Barb closes the door]''

==See also==
*[[True and Loyal Fanbase]]

==Reference==
<references/>

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

User:Buick lesabre

2021-08-25T03:07:57Z

Buick lesabre:

car autist

User:Buick lesabre

2021-08-25T03:07:46Z

Buick lesabre:

automotive grade autist

Son-Chu

2021-08-25T02:55:25Z

Buick lesabre: /* Cadillac Seville */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

As of 23 August 2021, the Van had finally been towed, but nobody knows to which tow yard or impound lot it has been taken to.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

<div style="text-align: center;">

{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}

</div>

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

CADD

2021-08-23T19:57:12Z

Buick lesabre: /* Chris's CADD degree */ run on sentence

{{quote|When Chris still attended church, one of the churchgoers had connections with a business that did a lot of CADD work and told him to submit his resume. You know, the shit he went to school for and is so unbearably proud of? Well, his excuse later was that the business was too far from him. At most, maybe 20 minutes away.|[[Emily]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-84#post-3415817</ref>}}

[[Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|Chris's Associate in Applied Science with CADD emphasis. "The Associate in Applied Science degree is awarded to students who are permitted to relax some of the general education requirements in order to study more course work in their program area. This kind of degree is for students who intend to enter the work force upon graduation."|thumb]]
[[Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|Chris's CADD certificate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]|thumb]]

'''CADD''' stands for "Computer-Aided Drafting and Design". It is a college degree which provides career development in the use of computers to create and analyze designs. For Chris, however, this degree has provided no real-world benefits whatsoever, other than giving him something else to brag about to boyfriend-free girls.

==Chris's CADD degree==
Chris graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with an Associate in Applied Science degree and a CADD certificate. Chris states in his [[Father Call|call to Kacey's father]] that he entered into the CADD program without knowing what kind of jobs such a certificate could get him. Throughout his years at [[PVCC]], and in the years since graduating, he still hasn't bothered to figure it out. If [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] were still among us and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] still cared about anything, they'd be kicking themselves for wasting money on his tuition.

CADD at PVCC was designed as a two-year degree, but it took Chris five years to complete it, not including the year in which he was suspended from college. The CADD certificate itself only required four courses, or one semester of work. The remaining credit requirements were to be met with major-related requirements and a few general education classes. Chris would have needed extensive consultation with his advisor in the CADD program. In addition to this advising, Chris had at his disposal two CADD labs, a Career Services department, web-posted job openings, and links to relevant external sites. None of this could overcome Chris's general apathy and confusion about entering the world of work.<ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/]]</ref><ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]]</ref>

Even though it took Chris a long time to obtain this degree, of the years spent pursuing it, he only produced two pieces of work. While one might assume they were two big projects over a long amount of time, the two pieces of work he produced were a map of his mall and an incredibly large 3D Mayor's Office about the size of a football field with nothing much inside it. Chris claims that he received an A+ for these projects which took him "weeks to months" to complete.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref> However, he has also admitted indirectly that one of his CADD professors, Dr. Kene C.U. Meniru, gave him a failing grade at some point. Typically, Chris could only assume that this criticism was completely unjustified, and that Dr. Meniru was entirely malicious.

The Associate's Degree in CADD is no longer offered by [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/pvcc-drops-programs-amid-state-budget-crisis/article_b499ce9e-725d-515d-8c8f-8ffe634bd7a5.html</ref> As time goes on, computer-aided design programs evolve, and it's more economical to learn the craft as part of another major (such as engineering, machining, digital media, or product design). Simply majoring in CADD nowadays is like majoring in Microsoft Word. Additionally, Chris was trained on Windows XP-era software that is most likely ''long'' out of date and has made virtually zero effort to keep up with new developments in his field of study. This has left Chris with very few job prospects he wouldn't have gotten with any other AA.

==Usage in the comics==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|left|'''Computer'''-Aided, not Pen-Aided.]]
Chris's CADD degrees apparently come into use within his [[comic]]s. He even alludes to them assisting him at many points in his comic; for example, [[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|Sonichu & Rosechu's benefit house]]. However, the few basic measuring skills he may have picked up from his CADD courses are made even more pitiful by the fact that he never uses a ruler, nor are his drawings to scale. Heck, ''he doesn't use a computer'' for anything but the text, defeating the purpose of even learning CADD courses in the first place. Then again, it shouldn't require a fucking college course to be able to make basic measurements or draw things relatively proportionate to each other. Looking at his current art, he'd probably have been better off spending [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s tuition money on [[Lego]] blocks.

Chris petulantly inserted Dr. Meniru into the comic as a villain by the name of [[CADD Chef]], who mocks Chris's designs for his mall. This "injustice" guaranteed CADD Chef a place in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] as one of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s minions.

==See also==
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
* [[CADD Chef]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]</s>Link down, please upload if you have the files
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/ Archived page for the CADD program at PVCC while Chris was there]

{{Education}}
[[Category:Education]]

CADD

2021-08-23T19:54:12Z

Buick lesabre: /* Chris's CADD degree */

{{quote|When Chris still attended church, one of the churchgoers had connections with a business that did a lot of CADD work and told him to submit his resume. You know, the shit he went to school for and is so unbearably proud of? Well, his excuse later was that the business was too far from him. At most, maybe 20 minutes away.|[[Emily]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/financhu-crisis-chris-sells-his-stuff-megathread.41369/page-84#post-3415817</ref>}}

[[Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|Chris's Associate in Applied Science with CADD emphasis. "The Associate in Applied Science degree is awarded to students who are permitted to relax some of the general education requirements in order to study more course work in their program area. This kind of degree is for students who intend to enter the work force upon graduation."|thumb]]
[[Image:0713-PVCCCaddDeg1.jpg|Chris's CADD certificate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]|thumb]]

'''CADD''' stands for "Computer-Aided Drafting and Design". It is a college degree which provides career development in the use of computers to create and analyze designs. For Chris, however, this degree has provided no real-world benefits whatsoever, other than giving him something else to brag about to boyfriend-free girls.

==Chris's CADD degree==
Chris graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] with an Associate in Applied Science degree and a CADD certificate. Chris states in his [[Father Call|call to Kacey's father]] that he entered into the CADD program without knowing what kind of jobs such a certificate could get him. Throughout his years at [[PVCC]], and in the years since graduating, he still hasn't bothered to figure it out. If [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] were still among us and [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] still cared about anything, they'd be kicking themselves for wasting money on his tuition.

CADD at PVCC was designed as a two-year degree, but it took Chris five years to complete it, not including the year in which he was suspended from college. The CADD certificate itself only required four courses, or one semester of work. The remaining credit requirements were to be met with major-related requirements and a few general education classes. Chris would have needed extensive consultation with his advisor in the CADD program. In addition to this advising, Chris had at his disposal two CADD labs, a Career Services department, web-posted job openings, and links to relevant external sites. None of this could overcome Chris's general apathy and confusion about entering the world of work.<ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/]]</ref><ref>[[https://web.archive.org/web/20050122014451/http://pvcc.edu/College%20Catalog%202004-2006%20%20for%20web/piedmont_virginia_community_coll.htm]]</ref>

Even though it took Chris a long time to obtain this degree, of the years spent pursuing it, he only produced two pieces of work. While one might assume they were two big projects over a long amount of time, the two pieces of work he produced were a map of his mall and an incredibly large 3D Mayor's Office about the size of a football field with nothing much inside it. Chris claims that he received an A+ for these projects which took him "weeks to months" to complete.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref> However, he has also admitted indirectly that one of his CADD professors, Dr. Kene C.U. Meniru, gave him a failing grade at some point. Typically, Chris could only assume that this criticism was completely unjustified, and that Dr. Meniru was entirely malicious.

The Associate's Degree in CADD is no longer offered by [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/pvcc-drops-programs-amid-state-budget-crisis/article_b499ce9e-725d-515d-8c8f-8ffe634bd7a5.html</ref> As time goes on, computer-aided design programs evolve, and it's more economical to learn the craft as part of another major (such as engineering, machining, digital media, or product design). Simply majoring in CADD nowadays is like majoring in Microsoft Word. Additionally, Chris was trained on Windows XP-era software that is most likely ''long'' out of date and has made virtually zero effort to keep up with new developments in his field of study, leaving Chris with few job prospects he wouldn't have gotten with any other AA.

==Usage in the comics==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|left|'''Computer'''-Aided, not Pen-Aided.]]
Chris's CADD degrees apparently come into use within his [[comic]]s. He even alludes to them assisting him at many points in his comic; for example, [[:Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|Sonichu & Rosechu's benefit house]]. However, the few basic measuring skills he may have picked up from his CADD courses are made even more pitiful by the fact that he never uses a ruler, nor are his drawings to scale. Heck, ''he doesn't use a computer'' for anything but the text, defeating the purpose of even learning CADD courses in the first place. Then again, it shouldn't require a fucking college course to be able to make basic measurements or draw things relatively proportionate to each other. Looking at his current art, he'd probably have been better off spending [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s tuition money on [[Lego]] blocks.

Chris petulantly inserted Dr. Meniru into the comic as a villain by the name of [[CADD Chef]], who mocks Chris's designs for his mall. This "injustice" guaranteed CADD Chef a place in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] as one of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s minions.

==See also==
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
* [[CADD Chef]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloorOne.pdf Plans, Floor 1]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/CwcvilleShoppingCenterFloor2.pdf Plans, Floor 2]
* [http://theinterwebs.googlepages.com/MayorsOfficeModel1.pdf Plans, Mayor's Office]
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?we0oddnzwnk Original Project Files]</s>Link down, please upload if you have the files
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20040314200504/http://www.pvcc.edu/cadlab/ Archived page for the CADD program at PVCC while Chris was there]

{{Education}}
[[Category:Education]]

Kacey Call 21

2020-09-13T04:49:23Z

Buick lesabre: /* Summary */

==Summary==
*[[Chris]] had a [[job]] interview at [[Target]] today. He claims to not remember most of it, despite it happening just hours ago. Though not evident at the time, this would turn out to be the last time Chris would apply for a job for over a decade.
*Chris uses his time spent playing at the Pokemon League as job experience in his interview.
*[[Kacey]] asks about his "photographic and audio memory," and Chris claims that doesn't work when he tries to remember things "spur of the moment," as if he didn't expect to be asked about the interview that happened ''that day.''
*Chris claims to have not worn his medallion to the job interview. He also admits that he complimented the female interviewers on their appearance. Kacey points out that you aren't supposed to hit on your interviewer - Chris disregards this and says it's fine because the compliment was "informal."
*Despite claiming his memory doesn't work "spur of the moment," he is able to immediately remember word for word what he said to troll phone calls. He was called gay by trolls.
*Kacey suggests simply ignoring troll phone calls - this goes completely over his head, and he immediately changes the subject.
*Kacey asks if he thinks he got the job. Chris says yes because "they smiled at me."
*Chris's logic kicks in full force. After failing to remember what his password was several times, he is locked out of his copyright management account for "multiple failed login attempts." Rather than figuring that ''his own failed log in attempts'' caused this, he believes it is the work of a troll.
*Chris believes that not only is it possible to steal the Sonichu [[copyright]], but that all you need to do is have the copyright mailed to you and it's legally yours, disregarding the legal name on it. This further proves that Chris has ''no idea'' what the copyright actually is.
*Kacey asks Chris to film himself jogging so she can make sure he is doing it right. He says he "will consider it."
*Chris says that he will get to work on putting essays on [[CWCipedia]].

==Video==
<Center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Kacey Call 21
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|T36jd-X9aGM}}
| Stardate = [[September 2009]] (day unknown)
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Kacey]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} Liquid Saga
| previous = [[Kacey Call 20]]
| next = [[Kacey Call 22]]
}} </Center>

'''Chris:''' [high pitched, worried sounding] Hello?

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey! What's up?

'''Chris:''' Hey Kacey. I'm doin' OK, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' I'm good! So... how did the interview go today? I want to hear everything about it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'll say as much as I can remember, anyway. It was, it went good. I had, uh... two supervising fema-, two supervisor women interview me over there. And, uh... and they, you know, I kept my voice at a pleasant tone and I, uh, I ca-, I was, ah, I kept good on the friendly smile and uh, and I maintained eye contact and, uh... answered the questions honestly and uh...

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] What kind of questions did they ask you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, like, uh... questions about my, about my past job, yeah, we took kind of length[?] to talk about my, it's, they talked about my past job at [[Wendy's]], and also about brought in, like, you know, uh, also like, find some, find some I, uh, experience at the, over a-, when I volunteered for the Pokemon League. [pause] Yeah, um... and they also gave me a lot of hypothetical situations so I can't remember those, can't remember that right of the ba-, remember that right off the top of my head right now.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, but it just happened today, how could you not remember? I mean, was it like, angry customers or was iiiit... like were you having a problem with another employee? [pause] I mean, I thought you had this photographic and audio memory.

'''Chris:''' [sigh, pause] I guess I, uh... I guess I, I, I guess it's something I c-, yeah. I wo-, I mean, yeah, I used to-

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] Are you sure you're OK? You sound distressed.

'''Chris:''' [pause, sigh]

'''Kacey:''' What happened? What's wrong?

'''Chris:''' I... when I have to remember something and then I, when I'm pressed trying to remember, as much detail, it's just, I get frustrated when I can't remember, can't remem-, can't recall it. I mean, you can't just like... spur of the moment.

'''Kacey:''' Well...it sounded like you were stressed when you picked up, so are you sure there's not something that happened today?

'''Chris:''' I, yeah, well, I did, I mean, while I was waiting for you I did pick up, uh, did pick up a few, uh, calls from some trolls, and...[pause, sigh] There's another rumor going around and... I got calls with claims from people, um call me, like, you know, saying like, yeah, [mockingly] "Oooh, yeah, I'm glad you finally came out of the closet and you're such a [[homo]]," and then like I told them, like, told them, "I'm straight." I told them I'm straight and then hung up on them. ''[sigh]'' I just had to deal with, had to deal with a bunch of those.

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] That's awful! I'm so sorry that my class ran late, but it sounds like somebody needs to grow up.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, a LOT of somebodies.

'''Kacey:''' Haha, yeah. I mean, don't they have anything BETTER to do?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' But I mean, I guess it could be worse. I mean, it's just a phone call. You could just ignore them.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, like I was explaining, anyways, still, I think I left a, ah, good impression at like, and I did dress nice I work like, I wor-, I wore a nice, uh, blue dress shirt that, a like, nice blue striped dress shirt that I had and uh, black slacks and uh, blazer, and I did ''not'' wear my [[medallion]]. And I sat appropriately with my hands in my lap and my shoulders straight and sitting up posture and-

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] That's good!

'''Chris:''' I... yeah. And I, you know, I even them a good handshakes and uh, a compliment on how they looked and uh, I think they like so I'll hear b-, I'll hear, I'll find out for sure in a couple of days.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I hope you weren't too forward with the complimenting them. Normally you don't do that on an interview.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, no, no, it was like, informal, it was like, you know, while were waiting for the uh, for the, the, conference room to be free 'cause there was another interview goin' on and I complimented one of the two, one, one of the two women on how they looked. They looked good. And uh, also had uh, a jeweled hair piece and had pony tails. But it was like, you know, the jewel covered up the rubber band. And I, uh, complimented on that, you know, it looked good. It looked good on that person.

'''Kacey:''' Oh. So did they have you fill out any kind of paperwork or say if they would be setting up a second interview, or... um, basically, what did they say?

'''Chris:''' Mm... well, I did have to uh, did have to sign a form where they talked about my, you know, uh... my schedule, availability of which I filled out when I applied on the online application. Talked to me about that. Verifying that. Uh... other than that, it was a Q-and-A, uh... and they pretty much wrote that down themselves.

'''Kacey:''' Well, did they tell you that they would be calling you, or anything else?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they said that they would call me back.

'''Kacey:''' Did they give you a time frame?

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] Yeah, in a couple of days. [pause] Or if you're talking a time frame in hours, no they did not give me that.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, no no no, just... a time frame.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, in a couple of days.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean... do you think you got the job?

'''Chris:''' Mm. [pause] I'm hoping I did. I'm praying I did.

'''Kacey:''' Well, I mean, did they say anything that would make you... ''think'' that?

'''Chris:''' They smiled back at me.

'''Kacey:''' That's their job, they're supposed to smile back.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but I mean, ah...

'''Kacey:''' Did they say anything about paperwork, orientation... anything like that?

'''Chris:''' Mm... they, ahhh... they never said anything about orientations yet.

[pause]

'''Kacey:''' Mmkay. Well, did anything else happen today?

'''Chris:''' Well... I didn't have much else planned, so after I got home, after I got back home, I, uh... had something to eat, then I took my tai-, walk... jog. And then after I got home I spent some time playing Final Fantasy 7.

'''Kacey:''' Oh. That's an old game! So, uh... how about your [[copyright]] papers? How's that coming along?

'''Chris:''' I think I already told you that, uh... that I re-registered...

'''Kacey:''' But, I mean, have you checked on it online to make sure it went through?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I... Yeah, I tried checking it online, but unfortunately, uh... yeah, I hadn't changed my password and I forgot... I'm not sure what the password is. I think it's... it's suppo-, supposed to be... it's supposed to have the word "nutmeg" in it.

'''Kacey:''' [typing heard in the background]

'''Chris:''' Or, and, it's like... "gemtun" or something... which is a palindrome of nutmeg.

'''Kacey:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Spelled back... spelled backward. That's what palindrome means.

'''Kacey:''' Awesome!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, w-... yeah. I think I told you that I like to do that. You know, [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|spell words backwards and then say them like that]].

'''Kacey:''' Right!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uh... I also have that. I think it was like, either "02241982" but it... apparently, those weren't right. And uh, I guess... I mean, like, it also said like, I tried logging in and it gave me like... it said, like, you know, account has been deactivated because of multiple failed login attempts.

'''Kacey:''' Oooh.

'''Chris:''' So, I don't know, maybe one of the tro-... [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or... [[Gregg Mays|Gregg]]. Clyde, that guy, tried to log in. And tried to... psh, mess everything up there.

'''Kacey:''' Well... who knows?

'''Chris:''' [trying to interrupt] B-b-but y-yeah, but yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Because if he did, I mean, what would you do? I mean, if he did that, then HE would have the copyright, wouldn't he?

'''Chris:''' [sigh] Well, yeah, well, I mean, I don't know. Mm. It would depend on if he actually has an address for them to send the, uh, for them to send that, uh, piece of paper to or not.

'''Kacey:''' [talking over Chris] Well...you should work on it and find out.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' 'Cause, I mean, if you think he did, he probably did, because that sounds like him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, I, well, yeah, I'm trying.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you should try harder, because I mean isn't that...important to you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it is important.

'''Kacey:''' So, you should...probably get on it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I have been on that. I was on that, I was on it earlier when I was checkin' my e-mail as well. Also, yeah, I checked my e-mail also before, uh, after I got back from my walk...and before I went to Final Fantasy 7 I checked my e-mail.

'''Kacey:''' Well, how long did you walk?

'''Chris:''' [sigh] The usual... usual, 'bout... actually, nowadays, with the way I'm walking... I'm walking, jogging a little faster. I get home in 15 to 30 minutes now.

'''Kacey:''' [interrupting] OK, so you... so you jogged for 15 minutes, or you walked for 15 minutes?

'''Chris:''' [pause] Yeah, I jogged for like... five minutes out of the total time.

'''Kacey:''' [long pause] OK. Well. [sucks teeth] Do you ever think that... maybe you should...

'''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt]

'''Kacey:''' ...try to film yourself jogging so that maybe I could see your form and give you a few pointers?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, I don't know if it would be that easy for me to... well, I mean, it's not like I can actually... hold the camera while I'm jogging. It's like a habit of mine, swinging my arms while I jog. If I had it in my hands while I was filming, I mean... it'd be like, constant motion.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you're not supposed to let your arms swing down when you're jogging. You're supposed to keep them right by you. You know, like, you can either have your elbows bent a little bit, or keep them by your side.

'''Chris:''' [tries to interrupt] Yeah... I-

'''Kacey:''' I mean, just to, just set it stationary and jog in front of it for a little bit.

'''Chris:''' [pause] OK, well, I'll think about... OK, I'll consider it. I'll think about it.

'''Kacey:''' ''[typing]'' OK, but don't just be saying that to blow me off.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that to blow you off. I will seriously consider... doing that.

'''Kacey:''' OK. Well, I just wanted to make sure that you know you're working on stuff. Um... so, um, also, I mean, you know, you haven't done a lot of things that you said you would. Like, there's no old essays on the [[CWCipedia]], anything like that, or, um... a song. ...anything. I mean, maybe you should just do a little bit at a time. Because, I'm ''really'' trying to help you out here, but you've got to help too for you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, just, I'm still...yes. So many things and...so many things. Yep. But yeah. I'll get... I'll get some old essays up on the CWCipedia.

'''Kacey:''' OK. Well, that's good, um...

'''Chris:''' I...

'''Kacey:''' Well, let me let you go ahead and get to that and I will try to talk to you tomorrow. And definitely check up on that copyright, you don't want someone to steal it right from under your nose.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah. I... I... yeah. I'll get right on that. I am right on that.

'''Kacey:''' OK. Alright. Bye.

'''Chris:''' I'll talk to you later. Stay safe. I- [cuts off]

==External links==
[http://www.4shared.com/mp3/KL9Fmvx_ba/Kacey_Call_21.html MP3 Phone Call]

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 20]]|nextlink=[[Kacey Call 22]]}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-11T06:15:12Z

Buick lesabre: /* Barb's Dodge Caravan */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Chris and work

2020-09-10T05:07:06Z

Buick lesabre: /* Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? */

{{quote|[...] comments that are truly of Good Intentions of self-improvement and constructive criticism, versus the truly Bad Intentions of spamming actual hate speech (Get A Job).|Chris considers "get a job" to be hate speech and commentary from [[enablers]] kissing his ass to be constructive criticism.}}
[[Image:Heavylifting.jpg|thumb|right|[[Chris]] doing anything that doesn't revolve around [[daydream]]ing over his fantasies.]]

Chris is infamous for his laziness and his dependence on his [[Barbara|elderly mother]], which inhibits him from wanting to '''work'''. He briefly held one job - two if pushing it - in his early 20s, but was unsurprisingly fired from them fairly quickly.

Despite his crushing [[debt]], Chris vehemently refuses to obtain any kind of employment whatsoever due to wanting to perpetually [[Chris and nostalgia|live like a child]] - a stance that has become so potent that he believes that suggesting it to him should be deemed as "hate speech".<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1194090568898494464</ref>
Thus, as shown on the [[CWCki]]'s [[Main Page]], it has been {{#expr: (-1253880000 +{{#time:U}})/86400 round 0}} days (more than ten years) since Chris [[Kacey Call 21|applied for a job]].

==Reasons for Chris's refusal to work==
{{Incomplete}}
{{Protip|We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but Chris will NEVER get a job, let alone respond to your shitfoolery, no matter how many “Get a job” messages you send to him. Even if he decided to get one, his chances are slim with his current background.}}

===Laziness===

===Parental Influence===

Chris's parents, but more so [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], had encouraged him to not be employed, believing that his [[Monthly Tugboat|Social Security Disability Insurance]] (SSDI) is all he really needs to support himself - a belief that has ultimately proven to be false with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]].

===Fantasy and Financial Enablers===
{{Main|Enablers}}
In the wake of the Idea Guys, Chris's enabling has gone far beyond just his mother. Chris now has amounts of admiring fans that are willing to give him loads of money in order to support him.

==Past Stance on Employment==

In the past, Chris has shown some degree of interest in pursuing a career, but only for his own personal gain, rather than so that he can move out of his parents' house and obtain a degree of self-sufficiency. For example, although he expressed an interest in becoming a comic book artist, working for either Archie or DC,<ref>Chris's resume</ref>, he has also stated, when he completes his Love Quest, that he would stay at home while his wife works, showing that Chris was somewhat hesitant even before then. Other sources point to Chris believing that obtaining a job is only necessary to pick up a girlfriend, which is evident when he decided to take up a job in Cutco Cutlery at the beginning of his [[Love Quest]].

Key insight into Chris's attitude towards job hunting is found in his [[resume]], which has not been updated in over a decade. In it, Chris shows he did not understand what constitutes work experience, let alone its importance. For example, he believes that doing "volunteer work" for the Pokémon Leagues at the GAMe PLACe counts as work experience. In reality, mere "volunteer work" does not typically catch the eye of most employers. Also, Chris was not a gym leader as he claimed, but rather was a substitute when the actual Gym Leader was not available. Finally, even if this could be taken into account, what experience he obtained is likely negligible, as he had no authority over the players, and was, in fact, carefully supervised by the staff. In the same résumé, he cites his production of comics as work experience, despite the fact that he was not doing this in a professional setting, and that the product itself leaves a lot to be desired.

The résumé also shows that, in his entire adult life, not even a fraction of his time was spent on an actual job, let alone one that is full-time in a professional environment. Counting all of the positions he had that did not involve being a [[Pokémon|Gym Leader's Assistant]] or working on his ''Sonichu'' comics, his total work experience amounts to a grand total of 6 months, at most. This estimate is generous because, while he claimed to have worked at Wendy's for 3 months on his résumé, he also claimed that he was already fired on [[Twin Falling Towers|11 September]] to [[Kacey]]'s father. Please note that this was only across an entire two-year gap between working each of the two positions he held.

While Chris has not lived a particularly good life unemployed, he also has had some bad experiences with the employees and managers of several of the places he frequented, which further shows some of Chris's views on what it means to be employed. The way he has treated such people provides insight into Chris's delusional ideas about the role of an employee. It is a manager's duty to take action in difficult situations, like if a customer is loitering or causing a disturbance, two things that Chris has done many times in the past. Chris however, unaware of how he should act in public places, only saw such actions as a form of discrimination, solely to keep him from doing as he pleases, whether it be [[Love Quest|soliciting a girlfriend]], or [[Sonic Boom|vandalizing merchandise or property]]. These views are also apparent in some of his comics, where he depicts the employees and managers that have given him a hard time as [[manajerks|corrupt tyrants]] abusing their power.

==List of Jobs on Dimension 1218==

===Wendy's===
{{Main|Wendy's}}

The first place Chris attempted to work at was at his local Wendy's. While there, his primary duties were custodial in nature rather than food preparation or direct customer interaction. Despite painting himself as an employee that "serves the customers with kind, understanding help", accounts from employers and customers have shown him to be a rude and difficult employee to work with.

===Cutco Cutlery===
{{Main|Cutco}}
The second and final job that Chris claims to have worked was through Cutco Cutlery, a marketing company that primarily sells overpriced knives. The company itself is deemed to be a notorious borderline scam that generally targets high school students, college students, and gullible idiots like Chris with no work experience. Chris claims to have lost this job after his boss "left at summer's end". Chris had obtained this job during the beginning of his Love Quest, which also showcases that Chris believed getting a job is only for people who want to have a girlfriend, even believing that having the job just magically improved his social skills. This job alone, believe it or not, was what made him believe himself to be a "Natural Salesperson". After this job, Chris would go out of his way to produce his [[Attraction Sign|Attraction Signs]], and advertise this one quality in it.

===Other Employers===

Besides Wendy's and Cutco, Chris has attempted to apply for a handful of other jobs, to no avail, and has also held positions he believed signified employment, but was actually mere community service.

==Current Stance on Employment==

{{quote|Therefore, for all of you Haterade-Chugging “GET A JOB!” spouters out there, I suggest you Shut Up and enjoy your ability to settle in a cozy Office or wherever. For the rest of us, the worlds and the dimensions are our Offices, and we are doing our best, so we can reach our respective Fated Destined Promotions. But, I Digress.|Chris claiming he's already employed in an alternate dimension}}

Considering how trolls, weens, enablers, and, quite frankly, Chris himself has completely mangled and destroyed his background check over the years, it is little wonder why he has lost any hope of obtaining a job. Chris even stated he was fully aware of this in a Facebook post he made on 3 [[April 2017]]. In the same post, however, he also claims that he would still refuse to obtain a job, even without all of the crazy shit that has happened in his life. He claims to fear the possibility of being discriminated against for being autistic, transgender, and having a lesbian soul. In the modern workforce, however, this misgiving is highly unjustified, as any kind of discrimination based on gender, disability or sex is usually frowned upon in the workforce, and leaves the employer liable for legal action or federal/state sanctions/fines. Besides the former two reasons, Chris claimed that gaining employment would be redundant, as he believes taking care of his aging parents actually counts as employment, despite not being paid for it.
===Job as a Goddess===
Chris now appears to believe that his true occupation at the moment is being the goddess of an alternate dimension, thanks to the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and several other influences. In the span of two years after the aforementioned Facebook post, Chris would state on at least two occasions that he believes that the ability to support himself financially by working a job is completely useless.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Response to "GET A JOB"]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Chris claims to be employed overseeing Dimensional Merge]]</ref> As a matter of fact, in one of these occasions, he had actually stated that he is far too enlightened and above societal expectations to obtain an actual job, simply due to an absurd comparison he makes between the amount of time the universe will exist for against how much time he would work at a job.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1049442246116790272</ref> As evident in the same post, as well as in a subsequent one, he actually believes that obtaining a job should not be mandatory, and even goes so far as to state that the citizens of [[CWCville]] are not required to obtain a job.

=== Can Chris get a (real-life) job now? ===

Many observers have admitted that it is too late for Chris to get a job now.<ref>Law-Talking Guy (28 February 2020). [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/post-6079391 Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 17 July 2020.</ref> In addition to his various [[Chris and the law|run-ins with the law]] and his local reputation for [[List of places that have banned Chris|public tantrums and violence]], Chris is over {{age|1982|02|24}} years old with only [[Wendy's|one bad month of employment]] back in 2001, a worthless [[CADD]] certificate,<ref>The [[CADD]] certificate is worthless, because, in addition to the fallout between Chris and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], he only produced two menial pieces of work, and has not continued to develop his CADD skills after getting the certificate.</ref> and over a decade of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|unsavory]] information about him on the internet.<ref>Bombsaway (18 December 2019). [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/post-5739803 Re: What will happen when Barb dies?]. ''Kiwi Farms''. Retrieved 19 December 2019.</ref> Not to mention, he hasn't even applied for a job since [[Kacey Call 21|September of 2009]] and most likely hasn't updated his resume since.

Even if Chris did get a job, there is a good chance that wannabe [[weens]] and [[A-Log]]s will harass his employer into terminating him, similar to how they harassed the management of [[The End Games]] and [[Anytime Fitness]] into [[ban|banning]] him.<ref name=harassment>[[May 2018 social media posts#A new excuse not to get a job|May 2018 social media posts § A new excuse not to get a job]]</ref> All this means that Chris's claims that he can never get a job may very well be true, albeit not for the reasons he claims. There's simply very few people in this world willing to tolerate someone like Chris in the workplace.

==Chores==
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I work hard for my father in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!|Chris, [[Father_Call#Maturity_and_Chores_.2839:17-48:08.29|telling a former U.S. Marine]] about the "heavy burdens" in his life}}

Aside from a few part-time jobs, from which he got fired shortly after being accepted, Chris is also responsible for doing certain '''chores''' around the household. To him, chores are menial tasks that [[Barb]] forces him to perform for her. Since these chores are the closest thing in Chris's life resembling actual work, and one of the few things taking him away from his [[video games]], [[Chris and reality|going into deep thought about other dimensions]] and attending [[BronyCon]], they are a frequent source of [[stress]] and complaining for Chris. On the other hand, Chris also sees these chores as nothing more than to prove that he is not lazy, in which case he believes these chores are a good example of what a hard-working, respectable, [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] he really is.

===Chris loves chores===
[[Image:0720-PattisDoghuseISO.JPG|thumb|right|"That thing had to weigh, like, 5, 10 tons!"]]
[[Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|thumb|right|Bob working alone in the garden, on the verge of a 4th heart attack.]]

Chris's most notorious mention of his chores is in the [[Father Call]], where he desperately tries to prove his worthiness to [[Matthew Devoria]] by listing some of the "hard work" he has done around the house, such as sitting on a riding lawnmower, moving chairs and carrying a [[Patti Chandler|doghouse]] across the yard. In fact, many of the "chores" he whines about are things he only did literally one time. He also compares his pulling weeds in the "hot, hot sun" to war veteran Matt's time served in the Gulf War.

Chris does not limit himself to only doing chores in real life. He also enjoys spending hours upon hours performing virtual chores in ''[[Animal Crossing Documentary|Animal Crossing]]''. These are his favorite chores to do, because not only is he able to sit on his fat ass all day while tapping at his controller, he is also rewarded for performing these tasks! As fun as this sounds, by his early 30s it seems to just be another part of Chris's daily routine, at one point telling [[Julie]] that he had to take a break from his computer to "get [his] chores done in ACCityFolk".<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 6]]</ref> He eventually stopped doing these chores all together after his GameCube disintegrated in the [[2014]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

In Chris's other favorite fictional world, [[CWCville]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] also does his share of the housework, as Chris elaborately explained in [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 his CWCipedia bio]. Between fighting evil-doers and saving the world from homosexuality, he even finds time to mow the lawn with his loyal wife [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]. After the kids have been sent off to school, Sonichu and Rosechu go out and vacuum to the extreme!<ref>[[A Sonichu Day]]</ref> Chris, on the other hand, is far too busy with his [[Sub-Episodes|mayoral duties]] to worry about chores, so instead he makes his secretary, [[Allison Amber]], do all of the work.

Chris [[dreams]] of one day being a "house husband", doing chores for his [[Sweetheart|wife]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]] at home all day, while the wife goes to work and earns money for the family. In a chat with [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde questions Chris's ability to take care of himself and his sweetheart. This causes Chris to go on for what seems like an hour, listing all the chores he is capable of performing around the house. He is very proud of his ability to load dishes into the dishwasher and put garbage into a trash can.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite these many difficult, stressful, back-breaking chores that Chris spends his time doing, the Chandler family's [[14 Branchland Court|house]] was still a disgusting pigsty that Bob falsely believed was on the verge of [[THAT IS MY HOUSE#Uncut|being condemned]] by the Greene County Health Department; before it actually burned down, the fire was being exacerbated by the mountains of junk held inside. In a call with [[Alec Benson Leary]], when this conundrum is pointed out to Chris, he desperately mashed the buttons on his phone and hung up to try and get out of explaining himself.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]], 7:18 in</ref>

===Chris hates chores===
[[Image:Chrisgarden.jpg|thumb|right|Chris tries convincing his dead dog to finish his yardwork for him.]]

Chris spends a lot of time trying to avoid doing what he is so proud of. Barbara constantly gets Chris to do things for her. This sometimes drags him away from his [[Chris and the Internet|friends]], [[Sweetheart|love life]] and [[Sonic Boom Protests|other business]]. He has also hidden out at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|the mall]] for hours, just so his mother's demands that he do a "hefty chore" wouldn't disrupt his [[Chris and art|creative genius]].<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>

He also blames Barb for his house being so messy in the first place. His usual go-to excuse for the state of his house is to call her a "pack rat", even having the balls to [[Chris and hypocrisy|call her lazy]] for not cleaning anything up. Barbara apparently leaves junk lying all over the house, but Chris would rather go days [[HairDifference|without showering]] than figure out how to move some of Barbara's junk to another room, claiming he "doesn't know what to do" with any of it.

Chris's parents also make him pay the family's bills, possibly as an attempt to make him feel like a real adult. Chris, of course, complains about having to give up a large percentage of his "[[tugboat]]" for these bills. He puts off paying them for as long as possible so he can use his hard-earned money for [[Sex toys|more important necessities]]. In one of her [[Mumble_2#People_Love_Poketunes|rare Mumble appearances]], Chris lied to Barbara about paying the bills for that month, at first whining that he was being "[[Honest Content|honest]]", but eventually gave in to the fear of being punished by his mother and admitted he did not pay ALL of them. But, he will "be sure to pay the remaining differences next month"!

{{quote|I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I scrub the floors [[ShowerClean|with 409 and paper towels]]. It's really hard work. Back-breaking!|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris explains why he hasn't had time to work on his comic]]}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Chris and money]]
*[[Chris and stress]]
*[[Chris's resume|Chris's résumé]]
*[[Dimensions]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Monthly tugboat]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}

Tour of Chris's House III

2020-09-09T03:11:40Z

Buick lesabre:

'''Tour of Chris's House III''', or as titled by Chris, '''IMG_7150.MOV''', is a video the [[Idea Guys]] had Chris record privately and save to his Google Drive on 9 [[March 2018]].

Compared to previous house tours trolls had Chris record in [[2009]] and [[2013]], the house is slightly less cluttered than it used to be, however, Chris has taken on hoarding habits learned from [[Barbara]]. Following the events of the 2014 [[house fire]], the parts of Barbara's hoard that weren't completely destroyed are still packed away into boxes set throughout the house; while the hoard still dominates the kitchen and upstairs living room, the oven and sink are actually ''accessible'' this time. Chris, on the other hand, has massively expanded his toy hoard, using the downstairs family room as a dumping ground for it, complete with narrow walkways to access parts of the room. On a lighter note, Chris also appears to have salvaged the 'Dreaming Studio' sign from the toolshed outside and brought it into his [[room]], which is relatively less cluttered than the rest of the house.

On 11 [[December 2018]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]] leaked a portion of the video onto Chris's Twitter, marking it as the second [[Idea Guys]] video to be leaked in such a way. The Twitter post with the video included a troll-written description stating that for $500 the full video could be unlocked, which was then deleted by Chris.

The full video was leaked by a [[Kiwi Farms]] member on 11 [[August 2020]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Tour of Chris's House III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|npxpE9Df0nU}}
| stardate = 9 [[March 2018]] (Fully leaked [[August 2020]])
| subject = [[14 Branchland Court]]
| style =
| saga = {{Idea Guy|text}}
| shirt = {{ManchildMeldownShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Damaged original art for sale]]
| next = [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]
}}

==Transcript==

===Intro (00:00-00:20)===

[''Video begins with a close up of Chris's face, revealing it is shot on a phone'']

[''Gives us a quick flash of the house before returning to face shot'']

Hello, on the internet, this is Christine Chandler, coming to you live from home once again, and today... givin' y'all an update nyauh- gonna take a tour of, the house... as it currently... is!

===Chris's work room (00:20-05:09)===

Um, ok? So, esc- es- start it... hm... pretty much from what is the family room is now my...

[''Turns the camera to show the room, which is unfocused''] ...kind of... living space- why is it blurry? The hell? [''Camera focuses, revealing a very cluttered room, but less clutter than before''] Oh, there is is. Just needed to focus, FOCUS! Anyway so that's... one half, um- that side but also, [[cats]] like to... hop on the couch, we don't let 'em, come in guests... but anyway, um...

[''Walks up to some boxes''] Um, boxes of... um... the VHS tapes, from [[Bob|Mr. Cs]] collection, and some of mine...

[''Pans around to show some monitors and piles of paper and toys''] and uh, there's the... [[PlayStation_4|PlayStation]] monitor and look! I've found the... [[Commodore_64|C64]] monitor today! Yep, right there with the old keyboard, 'n... there's the floppy disc drive, which needs some... hm, t-keyboard n' the disc drive need some [[Chris_and_work#Chris_hates_chores|TLC]], anyway.

[''Quickly pans away to move on to the [[Lego]] collection''] Um, [''sigh''] um, I'll give you, kind of an expansive view, of my nowd- my... old Lego kinda kits and whatnot, I'll go round the other side...

[''Walks around the central table in order to access the second half of the Lego table''] But anyway, I spend... most of my... time, on THAT side of the room [''Indicates towards the side he was just on''] neh- just-

[''Shows us various Lego buildings on this second half of the Lego table''] Yep, there's my... [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Lego high school]], there's my little house, srs... another house, there's the [[The_Simpsons|Simpson's house]], there is... spooky house, aneren... other... Legos... I've kind of lost track along the way, an... yada yada yada, um...

[''Pans down to show his desk''] There's m' desk!

[''Pans to his OC's [[Sonichu_Amiibo|amiibos]]''] There's, all my... [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] figure- phototype figures, um along with Sonic and Mewtwo there, just... because, for now.

[''Hold's Chris-Chan Sonichu and Magi-chan amiibo figures up for the camera''] Um, there's magi-chan and f- and I... yep! Why not?

[''Pans down to show his custom playmat''] And this is a lovely, custom, playmat I had, uh, printed... from uh... Custom... Ink, uh, it's got my, skylander... counterpart on it.

[''Holds camera down to plug the [[Xbox]] controller back in''] Excuse me this, chord unsti- unplug it's off, d- whynee- t'do dat? Stay in! Stay in. Hm, stay.

[''Pans up to show another monitor and then pans around the room''] Um, there's my monitor! Um, there things... it's that...

[''Shows [[Equestria Girls]] figures below monitor'']Um, uh, equestria girls... figures, and sympoa- hm... ther's my figure! And... there's [[Night_Star|Nightstar]] with... [[Kun_T’Nyuget|Kunt Nyuget]]! Yep! Anenereyouare!

[''Moves around and shows a printer covered in clutter''] Heh, ok um, there's, uh-I, clear it off when I'm printing or copying... me-uh, uh-don- uh.

[''Pans over to a box, but refers to a suspicious looking container on his desk just off to the left of the screen''] And that's... not what you think it is! It's just a little container of candy, ok? See? A container of, candy, and, s-musuruh, s- lu- toy! It's... candy, alright?

[''sighs, and shows the "That's Life" Snoopy book''] and, found this in the workshop, that's life, Snoopy, yep! That's life! It's crazy! Aaargh!

[''Walks over to and shows a stack of printed Sonichu comic books with some re-boxed custom painted amiibos on top''] Hm, there's... my... copies of my printed books so far, with uh... just a couple of things in the top...

[''Pans up to show gaming laptop''] There's my laptop, and...

[''Pans right to show binders of current Sonichu projects''] here are my current... binders of, projects, uh when I sit down in front of it I have a...

[''Walks over to and shows a cushioned folding chair''] I use this! Folding chair right here... uaah.

[''Pans down to some briefcases''] Then, that's my... pillowcase, it's got my medicine in it, like... I take daily, and...

[''Pans up to an easel and canvas with a lot of drawings on it.''] I stand- t-tuh- to draw nowadays, there's my- back up a bit- there's my, easel and canvas, uh, just see some things up there, I... draw on the board- on the clipboard on the top!

[''Walks over to and shows some games''] And, there's just, some other things, there's... some games I have- but something... fell.

[''Picks something up''] Gravity, it... happens.

[''Shows some art supplies and toys''] Euugh, other things I... just put stuff around here, for my... [''sigh'']... something I FORGET THE WORD, THERE!

[''Pans around in a circle to show the whole room''] What's the word? What's the word? Surroundings... from my surroundings, just... it's all I'm used to. And I've been used to, cluttered, type things, uh, pfff, life is. Um...

===The hallway (05:09-05:35)===

[''Pans to show the hallway''] Here's the hallway, and...

[''Shows the Poster of SLGBTQ pride cover''] That's... poster, with uh, Sarah, Christine and Roberta... Rosechus and Sonichu, uh... but other than this and that... um...

[''Pans over to the family photo drawing''] There's the family photo!

[''Walks down the hallway to show more art on the walls''] And, a little bit of, old art, here and there... in this hallway.

===The laundry room (05:35-06:05)===

[''Shows the laundry room, which despite the name has little to no room at all''] Um, laundry room, with... it's... I'll say blocked. Can't... already get to the back door but, we'll eventually clear it out.

[''Shows some filing cabinets and utilities''] There's... filing cabinets, and... a washer and dryer. Right there.

[''Walks back down hallway, and shows a calendar which is set to March 2018''] Um, there's my calendar, uh, with uh, moistures calendar above it, s- because I like, that artist Norman Roxwell, so did Mr. C and... a couple pictures of, me in my Sonichu form.

===Chris's room (06:05-07:53)===

[''Pans to look into his room in which the light is off''] Here's... my dru- lemme turn on the light

[''Turns on the light, Revealing a wooden bed with a pink duvet and a lot of clutter''] A'right there's my... bedroom, just...

[''Walks over to the bed''] And there's the bed. Ok? Um, and...

[''Shows dumbbells on the floor''] Dumbbells, because I do fifty reps a day, eh, I got my...

[''Shows some wrist weights and ankle weights that are on top of a cabinet''] Ankle and... wrist weights up there along with my, waist sucher that sweats it out... m'belly.

[''Shows a night shirt''] There's my night shirt!

[''Pans around to show an unorganised messy storage of clothes''] And, my other assortment of... clothes, I just... washed my tracksuit and cap today, and...

[''Pans around to show a dream catcher on the wall''] With this and that- I've just made that dream catcher, uh, ch- chandler, it opens the heart, 'n, th- hearts-

[''Shows very old sign from Bob's family''] and look what I found in the workshop today, huh? Uh, you can seeing this mis- Mr. C? My old man, you seeing that? Huh? Found it! Found it. And, it's hanging right here, now. Hehehe, uh

[''Pans left to show some precariously placed vinyl records, with [[Wikipedia: Bobbie_Gentry_and_Glen_Campbell|Bobbie Gentry and Glen Campbell]] at the front''] There's a, few records over there, just, hanging about.

[''Walks across the room to show more toys and some pictures and posters on the walls''] Uh, du- du- du- dududu, uh, other things, there's bear- uh- Bearstein, there's uh... photograph of, something my fan made me, and, picture of, uh, those things that I like from, uh, that's on my 3DS. Front and back of my 3DS, there. And, Milo and TV, with Daniel Ingram's autograph, and, Bronycon 2017 poster there, there's my, desk lamp. And... clock.

[''Pans past full sized trangender pride flag and lesbian pride flag''] Um, there's... lesbian pride- there's my, lesbi- there's my transgender flag, here's my... lesbian pride flag,

[''Walks over to and shows an iPhone''] I... this is my alarm clock, this... wakes me up about 6AM... It was my previous phone... um... um...

===Barb's room (07:53-08:34)===
[''Walks to the bottom of the stairs''] Oh and upstairs I don't wanna talk much, because my [[mother]] is up there, I don't want her to get suspicious, but... that's pretty much where my mother is... uh, and our [[Clover_and_Snoopy|dogs]]... sometimes our [[Chandler_Cats#Cats_currently_residing_at_14_Branchland_Court|cats]]. Aaand, she's got mostly [[Barbara_Chandler#Mental|boxes of her clothes]] up there. [''Sigh'']

[''Starts walking up the stairs''] So I'll just go with that, and I'll just- have a look.

[''Reaches the top of the stairs, and pans right to see Barb sleeping on a mattress [[Barbara_Chandler#Financial_problems|on the floor]]. She is surrounded by high piles of boxes of her own clothes that could easily fall and suffocate her, or [[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|block firefighters]]. There is a laptop playing soothing music in there with her. Chris then walks into the kitchen and turns on the light and starts panning the camera around af the various objects''] A long else, ok.

===The kitchen (08:34-09:48)===
Uh, this- this is our kitchen, um, we don't have much room, because, we got s- stuff that's cluttered in here, ever since we moved back in, buut we get by, um, we have our... counter top, we have our... big old refrigerator, with, Batman poster and my mom likes batman, nanananananana... uh, microwave...

[''Shows a large amount of washing up that needs doing''] Uh, there's the sink! We have a... water filter system, so that's good. Um, I [[Chris_and_health#Diet_and_nutrition|cooked]] chicken earlier tonight... um weus- um, washer... dishwasher, doesn't work for some reason, I forget why. It was discussed after, when we were moving back in, um

[''Walks over to toolbox''] ahh, du- du- daa da- just- we- just see, there's tools in that toolbox, hum, mm, and out there we fee- we feed our outside cats there. Um, ok what else? What else, what else?

[''Wanders over to a cabinet full of canned food''] Um, uch we store, canned goods... there.

[''Pans down to an ironing board''] Owell oxcheny opfeny anchony ironing board here. Hm.

===The bathroom (09:48-10:26)===
[''Walks into the bathroom''] This is our bathroom, our upstairs... bathroom, it could... do with a little TLC, whe-yip, um, whigonisiscome, ey- ir- uh- ihr- irhis- few more boxes.

[''Pans to a small built in cabinet''] Uh, that, and then... grandma's cabinet, uh, belonging to... my mother's mother. She wanted it, so, after [[Aunt_Corrina|Aunt Corrina]] died, so, she has that and we've got some things in out new, closet area there, there's- a door behind that that goes to... well, that would be the guest room there...

===The guest room (10:26-11:17)===
[''Walks to another door and opens it, revealing a very dark room''] And in here... is, turn on the light...

[''Turns on the light to reveal an extremely large number of dangerous stacked boxes.''] Um, this would have been the guest room, if it didn't... just store a bunch of our stuff in here. Um, it was our... craft room, there's a hutch-

[''Shows the other side of that door from before''] there's the door... which you just saw from the other side.

[''Pans down to show an interesting painting in the middle of a clutter pile''] There's a... picture there... and other things..

[''Shows a nice framed greyscale photograph of a young Barb which is on top of one of the box piles''] There's, a photograph of my mother, from many, many years ago, and other things...

[''Shows a disassembled light table stored among the box piles''] Over there is our, light table, it's disassembled, that needs to be- to put it's legs back on, ahh, de- de- doo, ah, what you see is, what you get with... everything, inside the boxes, possiposisos.

[''Leaves the room into the hallway''] Where's that light switch? I need to turn off the light.

===Chris's old room (11:17-12:43)===
[''Turns off the light, walks over to the door of his old room, and opens it''] Pretty much, last, and... kinda last, what was... bedroom, and, all that's lef- and glory, is now... more boxes.

[''The room is now filled with boxes and is very dark''] Just, over the boxes, um...

[''Turns to show a closet, but it is so dark that you can't see it''] New closet right here, and there's... boxes in there, uh, I don't know why this- ch- this phone's giving me- dim lighting on that, but, hm, anyway, uh, half this room is occupied by... my mother's boxes...

[''Zooms in onto various boxes Labelled as his mother's clothes''] Look! Clothes! Clothes... cloth, cloth, cloth, oh, [[Chris_and_Spanish|muchos ropas, ropas ropaas!]] [''Ropas is Spanish for clothes''] Hey einsme, and, all the way over here, is some... lots of cloth, some other things, the only boxes that are mine are pretty much, um, fffff- EEEUUUH...

[''Indicates to some boxes that he apparently owns''] Along there, there... there, there... there, uh, it pretty much ends... right. there, that's the corner, zoop, eeh, just- just seems,

[''Walks around and shows all the other various boxes and objects scattered around''] ye- uh, other things, uh, what was this for? MORE CLUTTER, things, I'd like to be able to uah- sort it out, but my mo- urgh just, wants me to- uh, so much clutter! AH, CLUTTER! Eugh, eh, so pretty much, um...

===Outro (12:43-13:03)===
[''Chris turns the camera back onto himself to end the video''] Ending it... what was... my bedroom, uh, that's pretty much it for the, inside the house tour, as it is today, so, [''sigh''] y-yup! Thank you very much, and, have a good day! Where is that button?

==See also==
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] (2009)
*[[Tour of Chris's House]] (2009)
*[[Tour of Chris's House II]] (2013)

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Damaged original art for sale]]|nextlink= [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]|}}

==External Links==
[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QW9WtRZw9W2fxLHRKHJ8I6d9dS47eF5U/view?usp=sharing Chris's Google Drive video link]

{{Troll Videos}}
{{Videos}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Christmas

2020-09-06T06:48:00Z

Buick lesabre: /* 1989 or 1992 */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore. 
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore. 
She should be 18-22. 
And she ought to be [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]] too.|Chris, 2004 ("[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]")}}

[[Image:MerryCWCmas.jpg|right|thumb|Merry C-Mas to all the [[troll]]s, [[JERKS]], [[homos]], [[niggos]] and [[jerkop]]s out there!]]
[[File:HollyOCChristmas.jpg|right|thumb|Every Christmas is an [[OC]] Christmas.]]

'''Christmas''' or, as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] once [[CWC-isms|called it]], '''C-Mas''',<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref> is one of our hero's favorite holidays. He always celebrates it at [[14 Branchland Court|home]] with his family, and often mentions it in his comics and videos.

==Christmas in the Chandler family==
[[Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|right|thumb|Bob and li'l Chris remembering Jesus.]]
{{quote|We celebrate like normal; a decorated tree, get-together, remembering [[Jesus]] and all.|ChrisChanSonichu, [[Mailbag 2#Holidays with the Chandlers|Mailbag #2]].}}

Despite Chris's insistence that Christmas is a time for family, his atheist half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] does not take part in the traditional Chandler family celebrations, instead staying with his wife's family in California.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

As evidenced by videos like [[100 2281]] and [[Tour of Chris's House]], the Chandlers keep a Christmas tree and decorations in their [[kitchen]] year-round because they are too lazy to change it.

[[File:CWCmasStockings.jpg|right|thumb|The stockings were hung from the chimney with care.]]

{{Incomplete}}

==Santa Clause==
[[Image:ChrisSanta.jpg|right|thumb|Chris wishes he were as much of a man as Mr. "Clause" is.]]
[[File:Pickle tree.jpg|thumb|A must for the discerning troll.]]

{{quote|[2008-12-15 07::03:20] EXKeine: Christmas is coming up, so... do you believe in Santa Claus? [2008-12-15 07::03:40] ChrisChanSonichu: yep.|Chris on Santa Clause [sic], [[IRC (15 December 2008)]].}}
{{quote|It’s been over a week since my [[PVCC|SUSPENSION]]; I am [[Stress|DEPRESSED]], [[Love Quest|LONELY]], SAD and BORED! I have [[Attraction Location|nowhere to go]] to attract a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free woman]]. I’ll be writing to Santa Clause [sic] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(|[[CWC's Diary]] for September 26, 2004, Chris acting like the 22-year-old grown-up man he is.}}
{{quote|Or for— since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister— yo' Misses Claus. I have a...good ole heat, 'cuz I took...a bit o'...[[Chris and sex|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, ho-OH!|Chris RPing as The Man, [[iPods Down and Listen Up]].}}
{{quote|I did not say that I was taking Viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that.|Chris, [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag #20]], on Kris Kringle's erectile dysfunction.}}

"Santa Clause" [[Chris and English|[sic]]] (not to be confused with [[wikipedia:The Santa Clause|the Tim Allen movie that uses this spelling]]) is a legendary character associated with Christmas, whom many Western children believe in.

According to surveys, most of these same children stop believing in Santa around the age of four, often when they find out it was actually [[Bob Chandler|their father]] with a [[Rollin' and Trollin'|fake beard]]. However, Chris claims that he still believes in "Santa Clause" [sic], despite being 35. He even put Santa's name on his [[JERKS#The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate]], which may imply that he: a) believes "Santa Clause" [sic] is real, b) believes Santa is a manly male man capable of landing himself a girlfriend (see also the [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag quote]] above). Also worth of note is the fact that Chris chose to put Santa's name on the list before [[God]] and [[Jesus]]...because, come on, these two [[JERKS]] never brought him even the tiniest presents!

Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean that Chris actually ''does'' believe in Santa. Chris probably maintains this line because he ''wants'' to believe it and maintain memories of the happy Christmases of his childhood. For Chris, who still plays with da [[Lego]]s, professing a belief in Santa is "cute" and shows that he is "young at heart", one of his favorite traits.

In a 2010 [[Jackie e-mails Part 1|e-mail exchange]] with a woman, Chris stated that he [[Honor roll|learned]] Santa wasn't real around age fifteen or sixteen, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

However, in a September 2018 tweet, Chris indicated that he maintained a belief in Santa<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1036680791802167297</ref>. Chris was 36 years old when he made the comment.

{{quotebox|Santa Clause has always been real; you just need to always keep an open mind and an open heart. Never close yourself off, because anything is possible.}}

==Presents Chris gives, wishes for, and receives==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '95]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '96]]
{{quote|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is [[Obesity|a good suggestion]].|[[Mailbag 6#For the man who has everything|Mailbag #6]], on what he planned to give his parents for Christmas, 2009.}}

==Christmas-related songs and merch==
Chris also got the name of his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]] from singing a 1950's Christmas song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, which actually [[Autism|says a lot about him]].

He also seems to have an affinity for the song "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]", as he raged like an idiot because the word [[homos|gay]] should only be used in context of "happy", as in the song.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

==Other confessions==
Being the totally sensitive and tolerant person he is, Chris in his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Christmas special (the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|text]] and [[Sonichu 11|comic]] versions) mentions the ways [[CWCville]] citizens of different faiths (that is, "Jewish folk", Buddhists, possibly [[Niggos|black people]], and "a few humbuggers") celebrate their own wacky versions of Christmas. In 2019, he referred to the holiday season as ''ChristmaHannuaKwanzaka''.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

===Hanukkah/Chanukkah===
{{quote|Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera.|''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]'', Act I}}

"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Haunaka]]"/"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Chaunaka]]"/"[[Holiday Greetings|Konica]]"/"[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|Chanukkah]]"/whatever, is a holiday [[CWCville]] "Jewish folk" celebrate while most other citizens celebrate Christmas. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" [sic] Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah, called a "Hanukkiah", has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. This is another small example of Chris's naivety as a cookie of any shape would have likely been appreciated. That Cerah couldn't choose a more obvious Hanukkah symbol (such as a Menorah or a dreidel) over a ''generic candle'' shows that Cerah has extremely poor knowledge of even the most basic of Jewish traditions known in the Gentile world.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating ''fried'' foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you - he just wanted to make sure that the cookie was hypoallergenic.

In [[IRC (22 December 2008)]] Chris listed "Haunaka" and "Chaunaka" as two different holidays, probably belonging to different religions. In his [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]], he does nearly the same thing, saying "happy Hanukkah, Chanukkah, all the other holidays to everybody of other religions".

===Jolly Buddah [sic]===
{{quote|Christmas Trees are abound most everywhere: in the homes of the townfolk, [[CWCville Mall|in the stores]], [[CWCville Mayoral Office|in the offices]], and the biggest one in the center of [[McIntire Park|CWC-Central Park]]. Some have Menorah Candles, or even a Jolly Buddah [sic].|[[Sonichu 11|A Sonichu Christmas]] (the comic version)}}
{{quote|All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]] (the text version)}}

From what we know, Buddhism is one of the religions Chris tolerates, and so he sometimes mentions it as a display of his "religious sensitivity". However, he probably doesn't know jack shit about Buddhism, and assumes that since Buddhists are all "good-hearted believers", they undoubtedly should celebrate Christmas in some way! So, in [[CWCville]], Buddhists celebrate their Buddhist Christmas by going to their Buddhist churches on starting December 12, and having a "Jolly Buddah" instead of a Christmas Tree.

By coincidence, Christmas is actually a popular holiday in some primarily Buddhist countries (such as [[anime|Japan]]). However, it's rare for celebrators to give the time special religious significance specific to their religion. Similar to how Halloween is celebrated in America based solely on the customs with practically no emphasis on the religious practices that started the holiday, so too do many Buddhists enjoy Christmas just as an excuse to put up lights, give each other gifts and participate in the same customs other people enjoy.

===Kawanza [sic]===

Little is known of what Chris thinks about [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|"Kawanza"]] [sic] and the related rituals, except that he [[IRC (22 December 2008)|once]] congratulated his [[trolls]] with this holiday (among others), misspelling its name in the process.

===Other faiths===

Chris doesn't say (or care, probably), what Muslims, Orthodox Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Baha'is or Atheists do in CWCville on Christmas Day. Probably they're the "few humbuggers" whom Chris derides for not celebrating C-mas/Haunaka/Kawanza/whatever those wacky Buddhists celebrate.

==Notable Christmases in Chris's life==
===1989 or 1992===
[[Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|GodBear, directing his Chorus of AngelBears]]

Sometime during the Christmas season of 1992 (other sources claim it happened in [[1989]]), Chris got probably the most dumbfounding present of his whole life, and from [[Christopher's name change|GodBear]] himself, no less. While strolling with his father through the Regency Square Mall, Christopher, as he was called at the time, encountered a band of bears playing some Christmas songs. Chris talked to the conductor, and being half-deaf from the cacophonic music they played, the man operating the bear mistakenly named him "Christian".

From that point on, Chris insisted his name was Christian, not Christopher, and a few months later [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|got his name legally changed to "Christian"]].

===2003===
A comment made by Chris in a [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 2|video he shot on Christmas Day of 2004]] indicate that he met [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] on the Christmas Day of last year.

===[[2004]]===
{{quote|[[Stress sigh|[Chris sighs] ]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler — by the way, you can [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|call my Chris]] in public—and... thank you.|Emo Chris, [[So Need a Cute Girl]].}}
{{quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh. I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.|Chris, the poetic [[geinus]].}}

[[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|This Christmas]], Chris expected to get: a) a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] from "Santa Clause" [sic], and b) an [[Chris and remorse|apology]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Not surprisingly, he didn't get either, and became [[Stress|depressed]]. He recorded [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|a whiny video]] about [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]].

Earlier in December, he dedicated two different songs to the first of these two wishes: [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] (written on December 4) and [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] (recorded on Christmas 20). The same day as the latter, Chris also recorded another song, the famous [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which was probably dedicated to the same thing.

If "Santa Clause" [sic] really exists, this proves that he's a major [[JERK]], or that he doesn't tie up girls and leave them under trees as gifts for horny manchildren.

===[[2005]]===
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas 2k5]]
{{quote|Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.|[[Megan]] on 20 December 2005, trying to be diplomatic with Chris.}}

Chris was probably [[stress]]ed as hell, because just a few days before his [[gal-pal]] and attempted [[sweetheart]] [[Megan Schroeder]] told him she doesn't like him [[Rape|trying to kiss her]], and that she [[Homo|doesn't want to have a boyfriend at all]]. Just to add insult to injury, "Santa Clause" [sic] brought him a shitty pirate ripoff instead of a genuine Lego set that year. No boyfriend-free girl under the tree this year either.

<center><gallery>
Image:077-StarOnTree.jpg
Image:078-StarFront.jpg
Image:079-StarBack.jpg
</gallery></center>

===[[2007]]===
[[Image:Fakeout-makeout2.jpg|right|thumb|Chris and Kimmi.]]

On December 26, Chris bought himself [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|a sex doll]] called [[Kimmi]], who would become a rival to his long-time [[Sex toys|artificial heartsweet]] [[Officer Nasty]], on [[Adamandeve.com]]. Probably because "Santa Clause" [sic] didn't bring him one this year, either.

To compliment the sex doll, Chris also bought a "Vintage XXX Cartoons DVD/CD", and received "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and "Playboy Magazine Digital Edition DVD/CD" for free. The fact that Chris specifically sought something as bizarre as vintage porn cartoons to [[mass debating|fap]] his crooked [[duck]] to, for some reason, sits fine with all the other weird aspects of his twisted personality.

However, being unsatisfied with fantasizing about naked women drawn in the 1960s, Chris went to Adamandeve.com again soon after New Year's Day, and purchased some more XXX-rated Holiday Gifts for himself. These include: a "2008 Adam & Eve Calendar", a "[[Card games|Romance Roulette Card Game]]" (which Chris probably plays as [[Virgin with Rage|solitaire]]), and, the strangest one of the bunch, a "Carmen Boob Mousepad", whatever that is. He also got some free items as well, namely a "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and, most notably, the infamous "Anal Love Beads", which would become a popular theme for [[trolling]] Chris in the ensuing year.

===[[2008]]===
Chris got "a couple of [[DVD]]s, ''Bee Movie'' on Blu-Ray, [[Obesity|assorted chocolates]] and [[Bob Walks In|a calming family moment]]" ([[IRC (28 December 2008)]]); in Chris's words, it was "simple, nothing extravagant". Bob outdid himself with a gift to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] overshadowing Sonichu in over-the-top symbolism. "He gave her an arranged box of ornaments, with tags attached to them; each one representing her blessings; three angels, me, dad and my half-bro, Cole. Ones for [[Ruckersville]], Red Oak, [[Chandler Cats|our cats]], and one for her." (Chris, on [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]).

===[[2009]]===
Chris took the time to send [[Kill De Jack|warm wishes]] to a [[Jack Thaddeus|dear friend]]. He also received chocolate and [[video games]] from [[Mailbag 24|his family]].

===[[2010]]===
Not much is known of how Chris spent Christmas this years. All that we know for sure is that for this Christmas he asked for all websites he sees as defamatory against him, such as the CWCki and [[ED]], to disappear.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He bought a ton of games in [[January 2011]], so he probably got PSN vouchers.

===[[2011]]===
Due to [[28 October 2011|Chris' decision to trespass at The Game Place and Barb's decision to assault an officer]], Chris's Christmas in 2011 was spent amid court appearances and the fear of potentially going to jail. It was also Chris's first Christmas sans-Bob.

===[[2012]]===
It's not known what Chris did, but he uploaded Bob's jazz marathon a few days beforehand.

{{Quote|I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.
http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip
Merry Christmas.|[[Facebook]], 20 [[December 2012]]}}

On the 21st, he watched [[Wikipedia:2012 (film)|''2012'']] and thanked God and Jesus that the [[Wikipedia:2012 phenomenon|world didn't end]], which must have brightened up his Christmas.

A few days after Chris seemed miserable, saying ''"I am back to the same old feelings; lonely, depressed, etc. makes me almost wish the world had ended, so I wouldn't have to continue feeling the pain. I desperately require my true (future) Sweetheart-to-be AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN..."''<ref>[[2013 Imgur Leak]]</ref> Apparently again Santa didn't bring him a pretty girlfriend.

===[[2013]]===
Nothing but a few PS3 games. No Life Upgrade Upgrade, and still no sweetheart from the ground-up.

===[[2014]]===
Chris requested much-needed [[Lego]] sets, and even suggested "prank gifts" for [[trolls]] to send him. The day after Christmas, he went to a local [[GameStop]] to give an [[Yellow-Shirted Foe|employee]] a [[26 December 2014|special present]].

===[[2015]]===
In the build-up, Chris [[Seasons Greetings|suggested several gifts]], and sang "[[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]]".

===[[2016]]===
Chris hoped that [[Bob]] would enjoy Christmas in his new life. He also uploaded an enormous wishlist of toys and [[Transformers]] junk for fans to buy for him. He uploaded [[Sorbet likes to play with his little robot|a video]] of [[Sorbet]] playing with a robot on Christmas day.

===[[2017]]===
Chris [[December 2017 tweets|tweeted]] ''"Just a simple Merry Christmas to Every Good Person. May your Wishes Be Answered Fully."''

===[[2018]]===
On C-Mas 2018, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] was revealed to be behind the [[Dimensional Merge]], and they announced its delay until 2038 in our dimension. Chris still believes in it, and announced that he was "''opening presents with [[Magi-Chan]], [[Cryzel]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], [[Patti]] and our [[Raichu]], Fate. It was very lovely. 😊 The Dimension Merge is still in progress, within its final steps before the apex. The [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and soulful links and events I have been having are becoming more frequent, so I do know. And all of the other deities have been working very hard together, with me as part of the group, to make this happen.''"

===[[2019]]===
Chris posted on [[Twitter]] that his sinus infection was gone, and he posted a new drawing of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris gears up for BABSCon with TSSSF cards]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*"[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
*"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]"
*[[Holiday Greetings]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]"
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]
*[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|A Very ''Asperchu'' Christmas]]
*[[Halloween]]
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

Christmas

2020-09-06T06:47:33Z

Buick lesabre: /* 1989 or 1992 */ not on christmas day

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore. 
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore. 
She should be 18-22. 
And she ought to be [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]] too.|Chris, 2004 ("[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]")}}

[[Image:MerryCWCmas.jpg|right|thumb|Merry C-Mas to all the [[troll]]s, [[JERKS]], [[homos]], [[niggos]] and [[jerkop]]s out there!]]
[[File:HollyOCChristmas.jpg|right|thumb|Every Christmas is an [[OC]] Christmas.]]

'''Christmas''' or, as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] once [[CWC-isms|called it]], '''C-Mas''',<ref>[[Sonichu's News Dash]]</ref> is one of our hero's favorite holidays. He always celebrates it at [[14 Branchland Court|home]] with his family, and often mentions it in his comics and videos.

==Christmas in the Chandler family==
[[Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|right|thumb|Bob and li'l Chris remembering Jesus.]]
{{quote|We celebrate like normal; a decorated tree, get-together, remembering [[Jesus]] and all.|ChrisChanSonichu, [[Mailbag 2#Holidays with the Chandlers|Mailbag #2]].}}

Despite Chris's insistence that Christmas is a time for family, his atheist half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] does not take part in the traditional Chandler family celebrations, instead staying with his wife's family in California.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

As evidenced by videos like [[100 2281]] and [[Tour of Chris's House]], the Chandlers keep a Christmas tree and decorations in their [[kitchen]] year-round because they are too lazy to change it.

[[File:CWCmasStockings.jpg|right|thumb|The stockings were hung from the chimney with care.]]

{{Incomplete}}

==Santa Clause==
[[Image:ChrisSanta.jpg|right|thumb|Chris wishes he were as much of a man as Mr. "Clause" is.]]
[[File:Pickle tree.jpg|thumb|A must for the discerning troll.]]

{{quote|[2008-12-15 07::03:20] EXKeine: Christmas is coming up, so... do you believe in Santa Claus? [2008-12-15 07::03:40] ChrisChanSonichu: yep.|Chris on Santa Clause [sic], [[IRC (15 December 2008)]].}}
{{quote|It’s been over a week since my [[PVCC|SUSPENSION]]; I am [[Stress|DEPRESSED]], [[Love Quest|LONELY]], SAD and BORED! I have [[Attraction Location|nowhere to go]] to attract a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free woman]]. I’ll be writing to Santa Clause [sic] this year, hoping that will bring me one. (8(|[[CWC's Diary]] for September 26, 2004, Chris acting like the 22-year-old grown-up man he is.}}
{{quote|Or for— since it's Christmas time, let's make like I'm Mister— yo' Misses Claus. I have a...good ole heat, 'cuz I took...a bit o'...[[Chris and sex|Viagra]]. Bam, ba-bam, bam, ho, ho-OH!|Chris RPing as The Man, [[iPods Down and Listen Up]].}}
{{quote|I did not say that I was taking Viagra; I was stating that in that role-play, Santa would be taking that.|Chris, [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag #20]], on Kris Kringle's erectile dysfunction.}}

"Santa Clause" [[Chris and English|[sic]]] (not to be confused with [[wikipedia:The Santa Clause|the Tim Allen movie that uses this spelling]]) is a legendary character associated with Christmas, whom many Western children believe in.

According to surveys, most of these same children stop believing in Santa around the age of four, often when they find out it was actually [[Bob Chandler|their father]] with a [[Rollin' and Trollin'|fake beard]]. However, Chris claims that he still believes in "Santa Clause" [sic], despite being 35. He even put Santa's name on his [[JERKS#The List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate|List Of Males Chris Doesn't Hate]], which may imply that he: a) believes "Santa Clause" [sic] is real, b) believes Santa is a manly male man capable of landing himself a girlfriend (see also the [[Mailbag 20#Viagra roleplay and something about Santa Claus|Mailbag quote]] above). Also worth of note is the fact that Chris chose to put Santa's name on the list before [[God]] and [[Jesus]]...because, come on, these two [[JERKS]] never brought him even the tiniest presents!

Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean that Chris actually ''does'' believe in Santa. Chris probably maintains this line because he ''wants'' to believe it and maintain memories of the happy Christmases of his childhood. For Chris, who still plays with da [[Lego]]s, professing a belief in Santa is "cute" and shows that he is "young at heart", one of his favorite traits.

In a 2010 [[Jackie e-mails Part 1|e-mail exchange]] with a woman, Chris stated that he [[Honor roll|learned]] Santa wasn't real around age fifteen or sixteen, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

However, in a September 2018 tweet, Chris indicated that he maintained a belief in Santa<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1036680791802167297</ref>. Chris was 36 years old when he made the comment.

{{quotebox|Santa Clause has always been real; you just need to always keep an open mind and an open heart. Never close yourself off, because anything is possible.}}

==Presents Chris gives, wishes for, and receives==
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '95]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas '96]]
{{quote|My father likes Brach's Maple Nut Goodies, and my mother likes chocolate, so some edible treats of that variety is [[Obesity|a good suggestion]].|[[Mailbag 6#For the man who has everything|Mailbag #6]], on what he planned to give his parents for Christmas, 2009.}}

==Christmas-related songs and merch==
Chris also got the name of his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]] from singing a 1950's Christmas song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, which actually [[Autism|says a lot about him]].

He also seems to have an affinity for the song "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]", as he raged like an idiot because the word [[homos|gay]] should only be used in context of "happy", as in the song.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

==Other confessions==
Being the totally sensitive and tolerant person he is, Chris in his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Christmas special (the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|text]] and [[Sonichu 11|comic]] versions) mentions the ways [[CWCville]] citizens of different faiths (that is, "Jewish folk", Buddhists, possibly [[Niggos|black people]], and "a few humbuggers") celebrate their own wacky versions of Christmas. In 2019, he referred to the holiday season as ''ChristmaHannuaKwanzaka''.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

===Hanukkah/Chanukkah===
{{quote|Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera.|''[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]'', Act I}}

"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Haunaka]]"/"[[IRC (22 December 2008)|Chaunaka]]"/"[[Holiday Greetings|Konica]]"/"[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|Chanukkah]]"/whatever, is a holiday [[CWCville]] "Jewish folk" celebrate while most other citizens celebrate Christmas. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" [sic] Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah, called a "Hanukkiah", has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with dreidels lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. E.g., when [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. This is another small example of Chris's naivety as a cookie of any shape would have likely been appreciated. That Cerah couldn't choose a more obvious Hanukkah symbol (such as a Menorah or a dreidel) over a ''generic candle'' shows that Cerah has extremely poor knowledge of even the most basic of Jewish traditions known in the Gentile world.

In fact, there actually is a tradition of eating ''fried'' foods on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you - he just wanted to make sure that the cookie was hypoallergenic.

In [[IRC (22 December 2008)]] Chris listed "Haunaka" and "Chaunaka" as two different holidays, probably belonging to different religions. In his [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]], he does nearly the same thing, saying "happy Hanukkah, Chanukkah, all the other holidays to everybody of other religions".

===Jolly Buddah [sic]===
{{quote|Christmas Trees are abound most everywhere: in the homes of the townfolk, [[CWCville Mall|in the stores]], [[CWCville Mayoral Office|in the offices]], and the biggest one in the center of [[McIntire Park|CWC-Central Park]]. Some have Menorah Candles, or even a Jolly Buddah [sic].|[[Sonichu 11|A Sonichu Christmas]] (the comic version)}}
{{quote|All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such.|[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]] (the text version)}}

From what we know, Buddhism is one of the religions Chris tolerates, and so he sometimes mentions it as a display of his "religious sensitivity". However, he probably doesn't know jack shit about Buddhism, and assumes that since Buddhists are all "good-hearted believers", they undoubtedly should celebrate Christmas in some way! So, in [[CWCville]], Buddhists celebrate their Buddhist Christmas by going to their Buddhist churches on starting December 12, and having a "Jolly Buddah" instead of a Christmas Tree.

By coincidence, Christmas is actually a popular holiday in some primarily Buddhist countries (such as [[anime|Japan]]). However, it's rare for celebrators to give the time special religious significance specific to their religion. Similar to how Halloween is celebrated in America based solely on the customs with practically no emphasis on the religious practices that started the holiday, so too do many Buddhists enjoy Christmas just as an excuse to put up lights, give each other gifts and participate in the same customs other people enjoy.

===Kawanza [sic]===

Little is known of what Chris thinks about [[Wikipedia:Kwanzaa|"Kawanza"]] [sic] and the related rituals, except that he [[IRC (22 December 2008)|once]] congratulated his [[trolls]] with this holiday (among others), misspelling its name in the process.

===Other faiths===

Chris doesn't say (or care, probably), what Muslims, Orthodox Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Baha'is or Atheists do in CWCville on Christmas Day. Probably they're the "few humbuggers" whom Chris derides for not celebrating C-mas/Haunaka/Kawanza/whatever those wacky Buddhists celebrate.

==Notable Christmases in Chris's life==
===1989 or 1992===
[[Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|GodBear, directing his Chorus of AngelBears]]

Sometime during the Christmas season of 1992 (other sources claim it happened in [[1989]]), Chris got probably the most dumbfounding present in his whole life, and from [[Christopher's name change|GodBear]] himself, no less. While strolling with his father through the Regency Square Mall, Christopher, as he was called at the time, encountered a band of bears playing some Christmas songs. Chris talked to the conductor, and being half-deaf from the cacophonic music they played, the man operating the bear mistakenly named him "Christian".

From that point on, Chris insisted his name was Christian, not Christopher, and a few months later [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|got his name legally changed to "Christian"]].

===2003===
A comment made by Chris in a [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004#Part 2|video he shot on Christmas Day of 2004]] indicate that he met [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] on the Christmas Day of last year.

===[[2004]]===
{{quote|[[Stress sigh|[Chris sighs] ]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope Santa will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler — by the way, you can [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|call my Chris]] in public—and... thank you.|Emo Chris, [[So Need a Cute Girl]].}}
{{quote|I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh. I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.|Chris, the poetic [[geinus]].}}

[[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|This Christmas]], Chris expected to get: a) a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] from "Santa Clause" [sic], and b) an [[Chris and remorse|apology]] from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Not surprisingly, he didn't get either, and became [[Stress|depressed]]. He recorded [[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|a whiny video]] about [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[Wes Iseli]].

Earlier in December, he dedicated two different songs to the first of these two wishes: [[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]] (written on December 4) and [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]] (recorded on Christmas 20). The same day as the latter, Chris also recorded another song, the famous [[So Need a Cute Girl]], which was probably dedicated to the same thing.

If "Santa Clause" [sic] really exists, this proves that he's a major [[JERK]], or that he doesn't tie up girls and leave them under trees as gifts for horny manchildren.

===[[2005]]===
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's Christmas 2k5]]
{{quote|Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance kissing on me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being indepentant. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just a girl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.|[[Megan]] on 20 December 2005, trying to be diplomatic with Chris.}}

Chris was probably [[stress]]ed as hell, because just a few days before his [[gal-pal]] and attempted [[sweetheart]] [[Megan Schroeder]] told him she doesn't like him [[Rape|trying to kiss her]], and that she [[Homo|doesn't want to have a boyfriend at all]]. Just to add insult to injury, "Santa Clause" [sic] brought him a shitty pirate ripoff instead of a genuine Lego set that year. No boyfriend-free girl under the tree this year either.

<center><gallery>
Image:077-StarOnTree.jpg
Image:078-StarFront.jpg
Image:079-StarBack.jpg
</gallery></center>

===[[2007]]===
[[Image:Fakeout-makeout2.jpg|right|thumb|Chris and Kimmi.]]

On December 26, Chris bought himself [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|a sex doll]] called [[Kimmi]], who would become a rival to his long-time [[Sex toys|artificial heartsweet]] [[Officer Nasty]], on [[Adamandeve.com]]. Probably because "Santa Clause" [sic] didn't bring him one this year, either.

To compliment the sex doll, Chris also bought a "Vintage XXX Cartoons DVD/CD", and received "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and "Playboy Magazine Digital Edition DVD/CD" for free. The fact that Chris specifically sought something as bizarre as vintage porn cartoons to [[mass debating|fap]] his crooked [[duck]] to, for some reason, sits fine with all the other weird aspects of his twisted personality.

However, being unsatisfied with fantasizing about naked women drawn in the 1960s, Chris went to Adamandeve.com again soon after New Year's Day, and purchased some more XXX-rated Holiday Gifts for himself. These include: a "2008 Adam & Eve Calendar", a "[[Card games|Romance Roulette Card Game]]" (which Chris probably plays as [[Virgin with Rage|solitaire]]), and, the strangest one of the bunch, a "Carmen Boob Mousepad", whatever that is. He also got some free items as well, namely a "XXX Pleasure Seekers DVD/CD" and, most notably, the infamous "Anal Love Beads", which would become a popular theme for [[trolling]] Chris in the ensuing year.

===[[2008]]===
Chris got "a couple of [[DVD]]s, ''Bee Movie'' on Blu-Ray, [[Obesity|assorted chocolates]] and [[Bob Walks In|a calming family moment]]" ([[IRC (28 December 2008)]]); in Chris's words, it was "simple, nothing extravagant". Bob outdid himself with a gift to [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] overshadowing Sonichu in over-the-top symbolism. "He gave her an arranged box of ornaments, with tags attached to them; each one representing her blessings; three angels, me, dad and my half-bro, Cole. Ones for [[Ruckersville]], Red Oak, [[Chandler Cats|our cats]], and one for her." (Chris, on [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]).

===[[2009]]===
Chris took the time to send [[Kill De Jack|warm wishes]] to a [[Jack Thaddeus|dear friend]]. He also received chocolate and [[video games]] from [[Mailbag 24|his family]].

===[[2010]]===
Not much is known of how Chris spent Christmas this years. All that we know for sure is that for this Christmas he asked for all websites he sees as defamatory against him, such as the CWCki and [[ED]], to disappear.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He bought a ton of games in [[January 2011]], so he probably got PSN vouchers.

===[[2011]]===
Due to [[28 October 2011|Chris' decision to trespass at The Game Place and Barb's decision to assault an officer]], Chris's Christmas in 2011 was spent amid court appearances and the fear of potentially going to jail. It was also Chris's first Christmas sans-Bob.

===[[2012]]===
It's not known what Chris did, but he uploaded Bob's jazz marathon a few days beforehand.

{{Quote|I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.
http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip
Merry Christmas.|[[Facebook]], 20 [[December 2012]]}}

On the 21st, he watched [[Wikipedia:2012 (film)|''2012'']] and thanked God and Jesus that the [[Wikipedia:2012 phenomenon|world didn't end]], which must have brightened up his Christmas.

A few days after Chris seemed miserable, saying ''"I am back to the same old feelings; lonely, depressed, etc. makes me almost wish the world had ended, so I wouldn't have to continue feeling the pain. I desperately require my true (future) Sweetheart-to-be AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN..."''<ref>[[2013 Imgur Leak]]</ref> Apparently again Santa didn't bring him a pretty girlfriend.

===[[2013]]===
Nothing but a few PS3 games. No Life Upgrade Upgrade, and still no sweetheart from the ground-up.

===[[2014]]===
Chris requested much-needed [[Lego]] sets, and even suggested "prank gifts" for [[trolls]] to send him. The day after Christmas, he went to a local [[GameStop]] to give an [[Yellow-Shirted Foe|employee]] a [[26 December 2014|special present]].

===[[2015]]===
In the build-up, Chris [[Seasons Greetings|suggested several gifts]], and sang "[[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas]]".

===[[2016]]===
Chris hoped that [[Bob]] would enjoy Christmas in his new life. He also uploaded an enormous wishlist of toys and [[Transformers]] junk for fans to buy for him. He uploaded [[Sorbet likes to play with his little robot|a video]] of [[Sorbet]] playing with a robot on Christmas day.

===[[2017]]===
Chris [[December 2017 tweets|tweeted]] ''"Just a simple Merry Christmas to Every Good Person. May your Wishes Be Answered Fully."''

===[[2018]]===
On C-Mas 2018, the [[Teen Troon Squad]] was revealed to be behind the [[Dimensional Merge]], and they announced its delay until 2038 in our dimension. Chris still believes in it, and announced that he was "''opening presents with [[Magi-Chan]], [[Cryzel]], [[Sylvana]], [[Mewtwo]], [[Patti]] and our [[Raichu]], Fate. It was very lovely. 😊 The Dimension Merge is still in progress, within its final steps before the apex. The [[PsychicPowers|psychic]] and soulful links and events I have been having are becoming more frequent, so I do know. And all of the other deities have been working very hard together, with me as part of the group, to make this happen.''"

===[[2019]]===
Chris posted on [[Twitter]] that his sinus infection was gone, and he posted a new drawing of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris gears up for BABSCon with TSSSF cards]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*"[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
*"[[I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas]]"
*[[Holiday Greetings]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]]"
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]
*[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|A Very ''Asperchu'' Christmas]]
*[[Halloween]]
{{Year}}
[[Category:Events]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-05T08:34:41Z

Buick lesabre: /* Other cars */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Cutco

2020-09-05T08:25:11Z

Buick lesabre: /* Other mentions */

[[Image:Cutco logo.png|center]]
[[Image:CutcoUltimateset.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The knives that Chris never cut himself or anyone else with.]]

'''Cutco''', officially known as '''Alcas''' during Chris's stint there, is a multi-level marketing company that sells overpriced, medium-quality knives. [[Chris]] was employed by Cutco from June to September [[2003]], and it remains the only significant employer Chris has ever had besides [[Wendy's]]. It's also the last kind of job Chris has ever had to date (not counting his stints as a "gym leader" for the [[Pokemon TCG]]).

__TOC__
{{-}}

==Employment==
Chris describes his background with Cutco in the [[Miyamoto Saga]] e-mails:

{{quote|One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a [[Little Pig Blanket|pig-tail]]. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.|Chris, clarifying that he is not [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|emo]]}}

[[Image:147-LightKnife.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Wonder where the inspiration for this card came from?]]

Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing, is a notorious borderline scam.<ref>http://marketingpr.suite101.com/article.cfm/vector_marketing_is_not_a_scam</ref> While arguably not an outright scam, they will more or less hire anyone who is willing to pay [[Chris_and_money|$150]] upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through [[Wikipedia:Sales lead|leads]] (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as [[Autism|autistic]] manchildren) for these "sales positions."

It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, [[Obesity|corpulent]] manchildren have trouble doing so. Chris touched back on the subject on his [[CWCipedia]] entry, noting that "[my status as an employee] may have gone longer if my boss had not left [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] for good in August."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Mary_Meets_Christian</ref> Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town. He later told [[Vanessa Hudgens]] that his boss "got replaced."<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref>

Chris took the Cutco job at a critical moment in his personal life, as he had realized several months earlier that he needed a girlfriend. He seems to have hoped that the job could help him with his [[Love Quest|sweetheart search]]; he remembered that it gave him the opportunity to "socialize." He believed that the job had allowed him to utilize his "good people/social skills," and he was disappointed that it "was ONLY a Summer gig." It was at this point, with a growing sense of desperation and urgency, that he made his first [[Attraction Sign]], which stated that, among his other positive qualities, he was a "Natural salesperson."

==Other mentions==
[[Image:VectorLogo.png|right|thumb|Flipping over the logo of Cutco subsidiary Vector gets you an [[wikipedia:Pyramid scheme|accurate summation]] of their business.]]

*Chris put a Cutco outlet in [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
*After Chris [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|crushed his dildo]] on 6 [[February 2009]], he used a pair of Cutco Super Shears to cut it into pieces.<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref>
*Chris used a Cutco knife to make his [[Chris and fashion|"Gay Trucker" denim top]].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> We can assume from these two references that he may have a number of unsold Cutco knives in his possession.
*On Thanksgiving of 2016, Chris posted on Facebook that he used the Cutco "Spatula Spreader" to prepare his Thanksgiving dinner.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Happy Thanksgiving! Brought to you by Cutco]]</ref> [[Chris and money|It's worth noting that Cutco's "Spatula Spreader" costs almost $70 while other brands go for about $25.]]<ref>[https://www.cutco.com/products/product.jsp?item=spatula-spreader#sm.0001pftq8m19qmf9epxfzy32m90hh]</ref> Chris states that he had his for "over a decade." This also implies that some of Chris's Cutco leftovers may have survived the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire.]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and work]]
*[[Pocket knife]]

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Cutco|Wikipedia article]]
{{Places}}
[[Category: Jobs]]

User:Buick lesabre

2020-09-05T06:01:27Z

Buick lesabre: ay

Pmurt

2020-09-04T22:27:17Z

Buick lesabre: /* Opposition to Trump */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Plus, Trump is just too damn rich And [[Chris and hypocrisy|immature]]. And "Trump" spelled backwards is "Pmurt", which rhymes with "Hurt", and he would badly "Pmurt" this country in office.|[[Chris]]}}

{{infobox
| title = Donald Trump
| image = [[Image:Trump.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Donald John Trump
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = Pmurt [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|A Mean One]] [[March 2017 Facebook Posts|Number 45]] [[React to SNL 41-4 Darn Ol' Tramp 45|Darn Ol' Tramp]] Drumpf
|label3 = Date of Birth
|data3 = 14 June 1946 (age {{Age|1946|6|14}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = Occupation
|data7 = Real estate developer Television host President, [[United States]] (2017-present)
|label8 = Preceded by
|data8 = [[Barack Obama]]
}}

'''Pmurt''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for billionaire and current President of the United States '''[[wikipedia:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]]''' (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|14 June 1946]]). He initially pronounced it "murt", based on his opinion that the P is silent when the name is said backwards;<ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref> however, in [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!]], he pronounced the P.

Starting in the latter half of 2016, Chris started to become vocal about his intense dislike of Pmurt on Facebook. In spite of how passionate he feels about Pmurt, Chris's understanding of contemporary politics continues to be exceptionally poor. On 8 November 2016, Chris participated in the US presidential election and voted for [[Barack Obama#White House gag|Hillary Clinton]].<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris and Barb vote for Hillary]]</ref> Following news that Trump had won the election, Chris reacted by making multiple death threats against him and Vice President [[wikipedia:Mike Pence|Mike Pence]], which is actually against the [[law]].

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Meaning of the name==
{{quote|Well, at least MY face ain't fuckin' orange!|Chris, [[DivineTrial|several]] [[At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|separate]] occasions before 2016}}
This CWC-ism comes from a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment from 25 September]] (partially quoted above), in which Chris says that "Trump spelled backwards is "Pmurt", [[Random Access Humor|which rhymes with hurt, and that Trump would badly "Pmurt" the US if elected]]".

[[File:Pmurt Dlanod.png|thumb|This is what Chris probably believes.]]

Reversing Trump’s name has twofold meanings. Firstly, names are particularly sacred to Chris;<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref><ref>[[To Clyde Gregg]]</ref><ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref> in his eyes, mocking someone's name will severely degrade them—this article will establish that Chris has enormous disdain for Donald Trump. Secondly, Chris has historically assumed that saying something backwards induces subliminal stimuli<ref>[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref>—which he believes are enormously influential on the psyche ''and'' the physical body.<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]</ref> Therefore, Chris may believe reversing Trump's name, in a negative context, might effectively alter his audience's perception of him. Beyond the random-access humor, Chris probably thinks his rendition of Trump’s name is a serious presidential objection that everyone needs to consider.

Chris continued using this backwards name in subsequent Facebook posts and videos.

==Opposition to Trump==
[[File:CWCiki IntroductionPMURT.jpg|thumb|The changed banner on the CWCki front page just after Pmurt's election.]]
{{quote|You have Got to be kidding! Trump is most [[Chris and hypocrisy|Immature]], [[My Little Pony|Uncouth]], and [[Chris and reality|Not Valid to be president]]. Trump will ONLY make the Country go [[Financhu Crisis|BROKE]], as Groening predicted, and ALL the money will ONLY go to his own debtors and the Fat Cat Rich People, and Hardly ANY for us in the middle class and below. Not to mention he is Anti-[[SLGBTQ|LGBTQ]], Anti-Immigrants, he [[Women's rights|puts down Women VERY BAD]], and he is an all-around Bad Person.

Hillary will [[Monthly tugboat|Tax the Fat Cats and fill the middle class]] and lower and get the country less in debt. And She is PRO-LGBTQ and [[Niggos|Immigrants]], AND She is more beneficial for EVERYONE in General. AND, this country is long Overdue for a Woman's touch.

You should Watch ALL Three Debates On YouTube. I'll send you the links in chronological Order.|Chris<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>}}

Chris has historically never had any real interest in politics. Combined with his general indifference towards anything intellectual in favor [[Video games|of]] [[Lego|nobler]] [[Mass debating|pursuits]], it's perplexing that Trump's involvement in politics would concern Chris as much as it does. Speculation has suggested a more personal root to Chris's animosity. As Chris’s view of politics effectively begins and ends with himself, the true root of his anger lies somewhere in the bramble bush of his [[Chris and psychology|confused psyche]].

For one thing, Chris is highly [[Naive|impressionable]]. As discussed later on this page, the LGBT blogs and groups he follows on Facebook have a negative opinion of Trump, as they generally do with most right-wing politicians due to their left-wing biases. Going off of the minimal amount of information he's absorbed from said blogs, Chris has said that he is afraid of what a Trump presidency could mean for him and his [[Tomgirl|lesbian soul]]. This is in addition to the general trend among popular culture and major-media outlets, which has also been severely critical of Trump. Considering how Chris [[Family Guy|takes things he sees in media at face value]], it makes sense that he would readily and eagerly accept these sentiments without a second thought.

Chris has shown that he picks his candidates based on who he can identify with more. On account of his [[Chris and gender|gender confusion]] and [[JERKS|dislike of men]], Hillary Clinton was far more attractive to him simply because she was a woman. The evidence for this is overwhelming, especially considering that he once compared her with Sarah Palin.<ref>[[Update 02/16/2016]]</ref> This is also consistent with Chris’s fondness of [[George W. Bush|George W. Bush]] and [[Barack Obama|Barack Obama]], both of whom he voted for because he liked them personally.

Especially salient to this discussion is the mentality behind Chris’s [[Brand loyalty|brand loyalty]]. Once Chris picks a [[PS3|side]] on something, he will defend that side no matter what due [[Naive|to a]] [[Chris and reality|misplaced sense of]] [[Autism|rigid devotion]]. This time the side he picked has down and out lost. Chris has been legally able to vote since February 24th, 2000. He's never mentioned voting for a losing candidate in a presidential election before. It's possible that his explosive anger is based partially in the fact that his favored candidate didn't come out on top this time.

Chris has provided the following reasons for why he dislikes Trump. It’s unclear how many of these are his actual opinions and not just things he’s parroting from what he’s heard on the internet. As the astute of you will quickly notice, many of the negative qualities he accuses Trump of having are ones that [[Chris and Hypocrisy|he himself possesses]].

===On character===

*He "[[Death threats|is very spiteful]]".<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref>

*He is an "[[Chris|immature brat]] who mocks everyone".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

*He "was a [[Autism|one-track tape]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|repeating himself]] [[Honor Roll|on pat [sic] deeds]] [[CADD|that he was "proud"(?)]] of".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#"Thoughts" on the debate]]</ref>

*He is "[[Chris and anger|hot-headed]], [[Chris and money#Chris and impulse spending|impulsive]], [[Clyde Cash|orange-faced]], [[Chris and money#Barb's toxic influence|money-grubbing]], [[Barbara Chandler|double-dealing]], [[Chris and race|immigrant and race offensive]], and most offensive [on] [[Homos|the LGBTQ]]".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

*He "[[Gal Pal E-mails 4#OkCupid - She's overweight and unappealing|puts down Women VERY BAD]]".<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

*His "[[Megan emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Womanizing and raping actions]]".

*He is a [[Jerk|male]]. In February 2016, Chris said, "I feel like American [sic] needs a woman's touch finally after all these years"<ref>[[Update 02/16/2016]]</ref> as a reason for why he wanted Hillary Clinton [[Women's Rights|to become president]]. On 20 November, he stated Trump "is of SOO Many Typical Offensive MALE Stereotypes, he probably was born with Two damned "Y" Chromosomes instead of the usual "XY" pair".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

*He is "[[Chris and Reality|Not Valid to be president]]".<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

Interestingly, both Trump and Chris have been accused of sexual harassment. While Trump's allegations have not been proven, Chris has [[Megan|had the]] [[Kacey|claims regarding]] [[Catherine|him confirmed]].

===On the issues===

*He "Wants [[Chris and race|the immigrants to build their own "Keep Out" wall so [he] would kick them all out]]".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

*He has "ideals of [[Chris and money|cutting finances]] from all of the more important resources the country needs in communities and feeding the industries from the National Debt. And he acted against the immigrants in that topic as well; [[Monthly Tugboat|they have to work too, you know]]".<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#"Thoughts" on the debate]]</ref>

*He "will ONLY make the Country go BROKE, as Groening predicted, and [[Chris and Money#Bank lawsuits against Barb|ALL the money will ONLY go to his own debtors]] and the Fat Cat Rich People, and [[Financhu Crisis|Hardly ANY for us in the middle class and below]]" and "Hillary will Tax the Fat Cats and fill the middle class and lower and get the country less in debt".<ref>[[Misc texts#Anti-Pmurt]]</ref>

===On issues relevant to Chris===
[[File:Pence.png|thumb]]
*LGBTQ

Chris is especially paranoid in his belief that Trump and Pence "hate" the LGBTQ community.<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref>

Chris has said he does "not just despise Trump and Pence, but as a Leabian Transwoman, and high-functioning autistic person, I fear, too, what would happen with those two God-damned jerks in the White House". In addition, he said, "I fear the loss of my own rights alongside our other LGBTQ community people's as well".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

However, he has been vague in explaining ''why'' any policies they might implement would affect him. Chris does not face discrimination in the workforce, or in society ([[Chris and the Law|at least not from being transgender]]). Over 3 years into their term, Trump and Pence have yet to criminalize the LGBT community and/or allow widespread discrimination of them. Sure, the Republican Party is mostly anti-LGBT, but they know that doing such a stunt would be a political suicide.

Although he's released conflicting statements on the matter, Trump has expressed some progressive ideas regarding transgender issues. Chris is aware of this, but still refuses to give Trump credit, saying he is "most offensive to us in the LGBTQ communities, regardless of his Transgender bathroom choice statement".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>. In any case, the only anti-LGBT thing Trump has done as president is barring transgender people from the military, it's not like LGBT people would simply poof out the moment Trump was inaugurated as Chris assumed.

Chris also criticized Pence, saying that "[[Chris and politics|Pence is just as much Anti LGBTQ and everything else that Trump is]], so my feelings are the same with that rat bastard as well, very much".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>. His criticism of Pence, however, is a little more understandable, since has indeed promoted anti-LGBT policies and is firmly against same-sex marriage, like any average Republican.

*[[Monthly tugboat|The tugboat]]

Trump has been critical of welfare in the past and throughout his campaign.<ref>http://www.ontheissues.org/2016/Donald_Trump_Welfare_+_Poverty.htm</ref> Should he find Congress agreeable, one of his aims may be to pass legislation limiting welfare’s funding and availability. Chris is dimly cognizant of this and fears that he may end up finding his tugboat reduced or even completely taken away. As of 2020, neither Trump nor Congress have passed any legislation in the matter, and the chance of that happening is very unlikely considering Congress is currently partly controlled by Trump's opposition. Chris continues the receive the tugboat without any problems.

On 14 November, he stated:<ref>[[[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>

{{quotebox|they would drain money from [[Monthly Tugboat|SSI]], making my mother and I closer to broke.}}

In truth, what makes Chris and Barb closer to broke is ''[[Financhu Crisis|themselves]]''. Given the rapid decline in their finances, he was hoping Hillary Clinton's policies would increase his tugboat revenue, [[Naive| if not bail the Chandlers out entirely]].

Chris has adamantly refused to budge on his anti-Trump positions. On 20 November, after radio silence following Lizzy the Lezzy readers and his Facebook friends criticizing him for his repeated death wishes, he said, "there is Nothing, nor any amount of time or whatever else, that would make it the cold day in the earth's core to Ever make me have even a remote inkling of a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma of any change of feeling or heart of mine about Trump ever".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

==Chris's news sources==
On Facebook, Chris routinely browses pages on LGBTQ culture, such as Lizzy the Lezzy. In the wake of the 2016 election, many of those pages became inundated with articles written with a clear anti-Trump angle. Chris forms and reinforces his opinions on Trump based on those articles, rating many of them "Angry". Examples of the pages Chris reacted to can be seen [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-11-13-05-02-12-png.153431/ here] and [https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-11-13-19-08-04-png.153440/ here].

It's likely that Chris simply skims headlines or opening paragraphs without taking the time to read the articles. The second example was taken one hour after Chris posted to [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence|a Lizzy the Lezzy comments section]];<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-11-13-chris-hates-and-fears-trump-and-pence.25777/page-2#post-1878273</ref> given that he was also busy with responding to its readers, it is impossible for him to have thoroughly read the articles. That Chris can't be bothered to learn more about the issues he apparently feels so seized with emotion over is emblematic of his [[Chris and Ego|arrogance]], [[Honor roll|stupidity]], and [[Stress|laziness]]. Chris refuses to even try to understand the issues at hand and so his understanding of Trump and American politics is consequently abysmal.

Chris has also [[Honor Roll|cited an episode of The Simpsons]] as one of his major sources for being anti-Trump,<ref>[[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote]]</ref> which is appropriate considering [[Chris and television|one of the ways he wastes his time]] in lieu of acting like a functional adult.

==Anti-Trump petitions==
Chris has signed several online petitions in an effort to prevent Trump from assuming the presidency.

*[https://act.credoaction.com/sign/russell_amendment A petition opposing the "anti-LGBTQ Russell Amendment"]

{{quotebox|On January 20, Donald Trump and Mike Pence are going to enter the White House.

They campaigned on a platform of hatred, bigotry, racism, misogyny, and xenophobia...

...[The Russell Amendment] would reverse existing nondiscrimination protections for 28 million people in the federal contracting workforce. That means employers could fire someone or refuse to give them a job because they have a same sex partner, use birth control, are a single mother, are transgender or even simply don’t practice the same religion as their employer.}} Of course, Chris supported this petition—probably because it disparages Trump and references the transgender community. It's unlikely he actually read or understood its contents.

*[https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19 A petition calling on the Electoral College to disregard the election and install Hillary Clinton into the presidency]

Chris also signed this petition, in the hopes that on 19 December 2016, the Electoral College would "ignore" the results of the 2016 Presidential election since Clinton won the popular vote. This did not happen.

==Death threats==
[[Image:Feelings of the election results (720p 30fps H264-192kbit AAC).mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, wishing for Donald Trump's death.]]

Chris's hatred of Trump is so great that he made four videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with ''[[Transformers]]'', ''[[My Little Pony]]'' and ''[[Lego]]'' toys, with two of those occurring before the election,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref> including one where he destroyed [[List of toys#Transformers: Titans Return|a Transformers toy]], further showing his lack of [[Chris and money|financial]] [[Financhu Crisis|sense]].

[[Image:Legotrumppence.jpg|thumb|Trump and Pence depicted being murdered in Lego form by Chris, part of a line of his perceived enemies who have been the subject of his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise|voodoo-magic]] [[Gal Pal E-mails 4#OkCupid and Impotent Rage|revenge fantasies]].]]

'''Timeline'''

On 9 November 2016, Chris began making several enraged [[death threats]] against the then President-elect. He continued his tirade in the following days, adding Vice President Mike Pence to his death prayers on 10 November, in spite of the possibility that it could land him in serious legal trouble. According to [http://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?path=/prelim@title18/part1/chapter41&edition=prelim United States code], a threat against the President is punishable by a fine and/or a maximum of five years in prison.

Chris has gotten himself into [[Chris and the law|legal trouble]] multiple times in the past, to the point that he has six misdemeanors on his record, with four of those stemming from assault crimes. He is also having [[Financhu Crisis|financial trouble]]. Only time will tell how far Chris pushes his luck with his repeated calls for Trump and Pence to die.

Given that Chris's address is public knowledge, the possibility of the Secret Service visiting and interrogating him for his threats and then forcing him to not divulge anything should not be ruled out.

===2016===
'''9 November'''

*3:28 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris wants Trump assassinated|posts on Facebook]] that he wants someone to assassinate Trump with a sniper rifle. Chris's Twitter account automatically tweets the post. Throughout the day, many [[Chris in the media#Death threats against Trump|high-profile Twitter users]] retweet the post. Several Twitter users say that they reported him to the FBI and Secret Service.<ref>http://archive.is/bHnGQ</ref>

*3:39 am - Chris [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|uploads a YouTube video]] depicting him smashing a ''Transformers'' toy in effigy of Trump, while screaming "die!"

*3:40 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Eid, Pmurt, Eid!!!|posts on Facebook]] again. He links to the YouTube video and says Trump "should Die now" before taking office. The post is also tweeted by his Twitter account.

*5:15 am - The "sniper rifle" death threat disappears from Facebook.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-calls-for-the-assassination-of-our-dear-leader.25664/page-4#post-1865911</ref>

*8:30 am - An Infowars.com [http://www.infowars.com/hillary-supporters-burn-american-flag-riot-threaten-to-kill-trump-after-losing-election/ article], featuring Chris's death threat in tweet form, is published.

*11 pm - The same threat disappears from Twitter.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-calls-for-the-assassination-of-our-dear-leader.25664/page-14#post-1869300</ref>

'''10 November'''
*4:07 am - Chris [[Twitter#10 November 2016.1|tweets]] the Infowars article.

*4:23 am - Chris [[Twitter#10 November 2016.2|tweets]] that he wants his audience to join him in wishing death to the then President-elect Trump before January 2017.

*6:53 pm - Chris again [[Twitter#10 November 2016.3|tweets]] to pray for Trump's death. He also prays for then Vice President-elect Mike Pence's death. He then links to [https://act.credoaction.com/sign/russell_amendment a petition] from Credo Action, concerning the "anti-LGBTQ Russell Amendment".

'''13 November'''
*2:06 am - Chris [[Feelings of the election results|uploads a YouTube video]] in which he uses Legos to role-play Mike Pence murdering Trump and getting arrested. He then holds up a sheet of paper, with the handwritten words (backwards and facing himself):

<center>{{quotebox|(Before January 2017) Die, Trump, die, or by illness, by Mike Pence's hand.}}</center>

*2:36 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Feelings of the election results|posts on Facebook]] about being annoyed by leftover Trump/Pence campaign signs. It is unknown whether or not Chris will [[Sonic Boom Protests|take down the signs himself]].

*5:06 am - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Feelings of the election results|posts on Facebook]], linking to the Infowars article. He then tries to justify his behavior by saying, "I'm not the only one who wants him dead".

*9:17 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence|posts]] to the Lizzy the Lezzy comment section, asking the readers to pray for Trump and Pence's deaths "before Thanksgiving". Many people respond, trying to talk sense into him, to no avail.

'''14 November'''
*12:53 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows|posts a picture to Facebook]] depicting Lego versions of Trump and Pence being executed by hanging, while handcuffed. The text on the photo reads:

<center>{{quotebox|Die, Trump, Die. Die, Pence, Die.

We do not want either of you in office; jail for you both is unlikely; We, the LGBTQ community, do not want to lose our protection and rights}}</center>

*1:16 pm - Chris follows up by commenting that, since prison is "unlikely" and impeachment is "difficult" then "Death upon those two before January, 2017, at this time and point is a necessary evil".

*3:07 pm - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#I'm done adulting|posts]], saying "[[Chris and reality|Trump is Not president, mayor, or Anything in Cwcville]]".

*7:30 pm - The execution-by-hanging post, and the associated comments, disappears from Facebook.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-14-16-chris-simulates-murder-with-legos.25791/page-7#post-1880108</ref>

'''15 November'''

*10:44 pm - Chris [[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously|announces]] Facebook had temporarily banned him from posting for a week.

'''20 November'''

*5:00 am - Chris, in [[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...|a 22-tweet long rant]], makes several childish insults and says he had given his "issues and feelings of Trump some thought". He claims that they are "justified". He ends his rant by complaining about Twitter's 140-character limit.

'''2 December'''
[[File:Alpha TrionYoung warrior challenge explained.mp400001.png|thumb|Playing [[God]].]]

*5:51 pm - Chris uploads [[Alpha Trion/"Young" warrior challenge explained]]. He role-plays Trump, Pence and Clinton using Legos:

{{quotebox|So [[Chris and english|advocate]] the office, Trump! Advocate the position. And then maybe I'll take you down off of that noose.}}

'''29 December'''

*1:11 am - Chris [[December 2016 Facebook posts#Advocate or die, Trump!|returns to posting death threats against Donald Trump]] on Facebook. In response to an article on Trump and the [[wikipedia:First Amendment Defense Act|First Amendment Defense Act]], Chris commented, "ADVOCATE THE OFFICE, TRUMP, or Die, Trump, Die!!!"

*1:43 am - Chris [[December 2016 Facebook posts#A puzzler for Trump|posts a puzzler]] for Trump. He asks Trump to consider a scenario wherein there is an alternate reality where everyone is gender-flipped and an "Anti-Straight Law" is proposed. He asks if Trump would support a law that is against the "Donald Trump(ette)" of that world. He ends by threatening Trump again: "#DonaldTrump, Advocate the Office and let Hillary Clinton run this country, For the Love of Religion, and for any shred of Self-Love you have for yourself. Or die from yours or someone else's hand."

Chris later proofread both posts, editing ''advocate'' to ''abdicate''. However, he did not tone down the death threats.

===2017===
'''4 January'''

*8:34 am - Chris [[Twitter#Tweeting a death threat to Trump|tweets]] the link for his [[December 2016 Facebook posts#A puzzler for Trump|puzzler]] to Trump's Twitter account, with the death threat still intact.

*6:03 pm - For the second time, Chris [[Twitter#Tweeting a death threat to Trump again|tweets]] his [[December 2016 Facebook posts#A puzzler for Trump|puzzler]] to Trump.

'''20 January'''

*10:54 pm - Chris reacts to news on the inauguration of President Trump on [[The United States of America has NO President or Vice President, Whatsoever|YouTube]], [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#USA has no president or vice president|Facebook]] and [[2017 tweets#January|Twitter]]. He insists that the USA has no President or Vice President, taking the "#NotMyPresident" hashtag [[Autism|a step further]] by stating that he will see "an empty chair with no audible speech whatsoever". To cap it off, he says his mind will not be changed until either Trump and Pence leave voluntarily or they "are both deceased".

===Chris on his death threats===
Chris has attempted to rationalize his constant calls for Trump and Pence's deaths and to reconcile his violent attitude with him being "bothered" that he has to "resort to death wishing on Anyone".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>

After Chris suggested to the readers of Lizzy the Lezzy (a LGBTQ Facebook page) to wish death on Trump and Pence, they instead criticized him for saying such "stupid" things.

One person said, "wishing death on people you don't like doesn't exactly make you look like a better person in comparison". Chris replied by saying that, with Trump and Pence in office, it would then be difficult to "impeach them and get Hillary in".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris has shifted on how he wants Trump to die. Upon learning of the election results, he wanted someone to kill Trump with "a sniper rifle".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Chris wants Trump assassinated]]</ref> The next day, he asked [[Chris and religion|God]] to do it.<ref>[[Twitter#10 November 2016.2]]</ref> Days later, he wanted Mike Pence to murder him.<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref> He also believed it was possible that Trump will die from old age before inauguration day,<ref>[[Feelings of the election results]]</ref> and that Clinton would not, since "Men die earlier than women".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref> Inexplicably, Chris also wants "science" to kill Trump.<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Chris has considered the notion of Trump and Pence going to prison, but has concluded that "Prison is unlikely for them, how difficult impeachment is, what other option is there?" He believes Trump should be jailed "for all of his [[Emily|sexual]] [[Catherine|assaults]] and rape on women".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>

He would prefer for Trump and Pence to simply hand over their democratically-elected positions, saying to "give the role of President, with most civil grace to Hillary Clinton. And since that is most bloody unlikely of Trump, ever, I am still most pained to continue having to pray for Trump's and Pence's Deaths to happen Before January, 2017, by someone else's hands or illness".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref> Chris further demonstrated his lack of political understanding in a post on 4 December, in which he said that Trump should "advocate the position, and take Pence with him, and let Hillary be President, as it should Very Well Be".<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#Pmurt should advocate the presidency]]</ref> Chris likely has the word ''advocate'' confused with ''abdicate'', which is a term he might have heard in [[Anne Boleyn|British TV shows]] - it's a term typically used in reference to a monarchy.

Due to his [[Autism|stubbornness]], Chris has refused to budge from his anti-Pmurt positions, even after Lizzy the Lezzy's readers ''and'' his Facebook friends criticized him for his repeated death threats. On 20 November, he stated, "I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified", followed by saying, "As much as I would like to choose to be rednecked and stubborn enough to plead complete ignorance and utter denial of him and Pence not only on the verge of taking office, there is still too many damn visuals about the bastards that plain further frustrate and upset me".<ref>[[Twitter#I have given my issues and feelings of Trump some thought. They are justified...]]</ref>

Unfortunately for Chris, he simply forms his opinions via skimming clickbait articles whose authors are inclined to disagree with Trump. Due to his [[Announcement 06292016|untreated autism]], he hasn't attempted to do any research of his own on what Trump and Pence have said. Instead, he opts to live on in willful ignorance, putting no effort into enriching himself with knowledge and getting fanatically emotional about matters he barely understands. It's to the point that he believed "Death upon [Trump and Pence] before January, 2017, at this time and point [was] a necessary evil".<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Lego Trump and Pence hanged at the gallows]]</ref>.

As of 2020, Chris seems to have left his hatred of Trump and his interest in politics behind, prefering to occupy himself with his polyamorous marriages and alternate dimensions, probably for the best.

==See also==
* [[Chris and politics]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[Death Threats]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/president-trump Official White House Website]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump Trump] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{PoliticalVideos}}
{{People}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

The Adventures of The American Rabbit

2020-09-04T21:49:44Z

Buick lesabre:

{{quote|Well, after seeing this all the way through I can certainly understand how [[Christian Weston Chandler|a kid who loved this film in the late 80's]] would grow up to make a [[Sonichu (comic)|webcomic]] featuring a [[Sonichu (character)|cross between pikachu and sonic]] that goes nowhere.|[[YouTube]] commenter satinsguard, upon watching this film.}}

[[File:Adventures of the american rabbit.jpg|thumb|250px|''Music, fun and excitement with the reluctant Super-Hero and his friends.'']]
[[Image:Amerrabb.jpg|thumb|The American Rabbit]]

'''''The Adventures of The American Rabbit''''' is an insipid [[1980s#1986|1986]] animated film directed by [[Wikipedia:Fred Wolf (animator)|Fred Wolf]] about [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] [[Robbie Sonee|Rabbit]], a bunny who is transformed into a superhero to defend his friends, family and land from pollution and the Mafia, all while cavorting around in the most [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] "costume" in superhero history: a rabbit painted in the stars and stripes and wearing roller skates (even though he can fly).

The American Rabbit originated as a poster character created by Stewart Moskowitz. Since some of Moskowitz's creations were used as mascots in Japan, [[Anime|anime]] [[Transformers|power]][[Dragon Ball Z|house]] [[Wikipedia:Toei Animation|Toei]] [[Sailor Moon|Anim]][[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|ation]] co-produced the film with Wolf. ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' bombed at the box office (gaining a mere ''$291,126'' in its opening weekend) and quickly fell into obscurity. It was the last theatrical film made by Fred Wolf, so it was a miracle that the next year, [[Wikipedia:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|two]] [[Wikipedia:DuckTales|projects]] [http://animationguildblog.blogspot.com/2007/01/brief-history-of-disney-tva.html he helped produce] were major successes. Nonetheless, it set the standards for young [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]]'s perception of many things, including himself, [[America]], [[Chris and writing|storytelling]], [[Chris and race|race]] (something that will become quickly apparent to any viewer of the film in question), honesty and respect for oneself and others (which, as in the movie, are given much talk for no reason whatsoever). His claims for being truthful, honest, and decent are almost certainly informed by the movie's shallow glossing over of the issues in an anvilicious fashion. Even the "famous" cover for [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] is plagiarized partially, in an eerie subconscious fashion, from a scene early in the film where the titular rabbit goes out from his home village, encouraged by his father.

Robert Rabbit is, next to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], one of Chris's biggest role models in life. In Chris's [[Wikipedia]] entry, he stated "they REALLY SHOULD HAVE MADE A [[Chris and television|TV SERIES]] of him." Along with Filmation's ''[[Ghostbusters]]'', ''American Rabbit'' is another obscure cartoon likely culled from videotape bargain bins that had an inexplicably large impact on Chris's childhood. Why Chris latched onto a shitty cartoon movie from the 80s so hard is anybody's guess, though the colorful visuals, easy-to-understand plot, and anthropomorphic characters are probably a significant part of the reason.

==Influence==
''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' seems to have had a tremendous influence on Chris's narrative style; the film has numerous plot holes, a bland Aesop-style moral tacked onto it, moments that make you go "Wait, ''what''?" (e.g. when some weasels somehow take over the world by kidnapping a couple of moose who make chocolate for a living), and the use of anthropomorphic animals as heroes. In other words, key ingredients of a ''Sonichu'' comic.

What's truly startling, however, is how much of it seems to have influenced Chris ''outside'' the ''Sonichu'' comics.

A character in the movie has a speech at the rally against the evil gang in the movie that starts out verbatim the same way that [[CWC's Second Message]] does, with the Panda character leading off by saying that "[they] all should know [him] by now." Much like the protagonist of the movie (and a lot of bad children's media) Chris regards his own actions as morally good no matter whether they actually are or not, and inversely the actions of his antagonists as bad simply because they aggrieve him. This very simple mentality doesn't seem to be directly tied to this movie until you look closer at it: The Jackals can get away with tormenting and destroying as they see fit, just like [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|several]] [[CWCki|things]] [[Kiwi Farms|that]] [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] [[4chan|has]] [[Get-Tar Region|compared]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|the]] [[Mal-Wart|same]] [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|way]]. If you look closer, constant analogies between this horrible movie and Chris's almost-equally-horrible life become woefully apparent.

This includes Chris's tendency to play into conspiracy theories. In ''American Rabbit'', all problems stem from the same small group of antagonists, in much the same way that Chris views all those who [[Kick the Autistic]] [[Chris and reality|as part of a conspiracy to ruin his life]]. In many ways, ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' thus provides one of the most compelling and disturbing looks into [[Chris and psychology|Chris's worldview]] outside his own body of work. Such was the import the young Chris assigned this testament to mediocrity that it became the centerpiece of not only how he [[Chris and writing|writes]] and even influenced how he [[Chris and English|talks]], but formed a big part of how Chris views the world itself.

==Possible influences on the ''Sonichu'' comic==
====Anchuent Powers/Legacy====
In the story, Rob Rabbit is visited at birth by a wizened old rabbit, who keeps tabs on him throughout his life until his latent powers are revealed when he saves his family. He then appears in a wizard's robe (for some reason; he isn't a wizard) and tells Robert that he has inherited the Legacy of the American Rabbit. This is very similar to Chris's [[Anchuent Prophecy]], where Chris is given superpowers for no reason other than being the author's literal Mary Sue.

====Shallow love interests====
As soon as Rob meets the [[Rosechu|pink]] Bunny O'Hare, it becomes very obvious that the two are attracted to each other. Granted, unlike the ''Sonichu'' comic, ''American Rabbit'' actually remembers that it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|supposed to be for kids]] so there's never anything more than a peck on the cheek. Regardless, this could have easily set the standard for Chris's idea of love at first sight - Sonichu and Rosechu were in love less than five pages after they met. The movie only features ONE female character - the aforementioned - who does absolutely nothing whatsoever to help fight evil, helping to set the standard for Chris's views on women.

====Worthless side characters that all look alike====
To be fair, he could have just as easily gotten this from ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' or other media, but it's certainly present in ''American Rabbit''. The band Rob travels with is called the White Brothers Band, a group composed of five white rabbits who look and sound exactly alike. Even the [[Chaotic Combo]] receive (marginally) more development than this.

====Worthless side characters in general====
Notionally, besides attempting to make money to rebuild a bar, the characters traveling with Rob believe that they have a "duty to fight against evil," but out of all of them (including Rob) only Ping Pong the gorilla actually does anything effective to thwart the antagonists. This is mirrored in ''Sonichu'', where often the entire cast will struggle to defeat an enemy (or in the case of the [[Women's Rights|women]], stand around and watch) because Chris wants his [[Darkbind Sonichu|flavor]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|of]] [[Sailor Megtune|the]] [[Bionic the Hedgehog|month]] to be the focus of the action.

====Worthless [[Jerkop|law enforcement]]====
Rob's world has ''no meaningful law enforcement'' and the Jackals are free to terrorize, destroy, and threaten the global economy as they see fit (even though, as addressed, the means through which they do so make absolutely no sense). The Jackals' ability to get away with what they do in the cartoon indicates that, American Rabbit aside, there is no organized police or military force of ''any kind''. This is analogous to the dystopian [[CWCville]], where [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] are the only thing standing between the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens and the terrified citizenry of the ailing dictatorship, rather like things are for the bulk of ''Sonichu'' before [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|CWCVille was revealed to be under martial law]].

====All the protagonists are worthless====
With all his superpowers, Rob punches out all of two Jackals during the whole movie. Every other time he uses his powers is to save himself and his moron friends from another trap the Jackals have sprung on them. At one point, Rob is reduced to [[CWC is Sad|a blubbering mess]], and has to be given a pep talk by the same geriatric rabbit who was watching over him as a child (who is now a New York taxi driver for some fucking reason) before he can finally save the day once and for all. This worthlessness can be seen in both Sonichu AND Chris, particularly during the earlier comics where Chris was always getting saved by [[Sailor Megtune]].

====A villain in a staff====
Or at least, a villain ON a staff. The main antagonist of the movie, Vultor, is portrayed as a man entirely concealed in a gangster suit and hat, with a staff that doubles as a perch for his pet vulture. It's later revealed that the gangster suit and hat were filled with nothing but air, and that the vulture IS Vultor, and has somehow been controlling the suit in a way that is never addressed by the movie. While [[Count Graduon]] isn't directly controlling [[Mary Lee Walsh]], he certainly calls the shots, despite being less powerful and trapped in a fucking staff.

====Plot holes and loose ends====
As mentioned, a great many inconsistencies exist within the movie. The whole reason Rob and his band start to travel America is to raise money to rebuild a bar, but all the venues they plan to play at get destroyed, they lose their car, and even their instruments. At the very end of the movie they can't even afford to rent new ones, but this point is never addressed since the fact that Vultor has been defeated automatically means it's a happy ending. Not to mention the aforementioned "chocolate moose" plot. The only excuse that ''The Adventures of The American Rabbit'' has is that it is just a single hour and a half movie made for children (and even then, children deserve far better animated movies than ''this''), whereas Chris will either forget about plot points in ''Sonichu'' until he's reminded in the [[Mailbag]], or have the story in his head all along and expect everyone else to magically understand it, and get angry when they inevitably don't.

==See also==
*[[List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu#Others|Bugs Bunny]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]], possibly named after the film's incompetent "hero".
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], Robbie's [[Tomgirl]] years.

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:The_Adventures_of_the_American_Rabbit|Wikipedia article]]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166948/ IMDb page]
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheAdventuresOfTheAmericanRabbit TV Tropes page of the movie.]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Adventures of The American Rabbit}}

[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-03T22:43:46Z

Buick lesabre: /* Other cars */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it or why the Chandlers got rid of it. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-03T22:42:53Z

Buick lesabre: /* Other cars */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it or why the Chandlers got rid of it. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

File:The mitsu.png

2020-09-03T21:09:15Z

Buick lesabre: borb's mitsubishi mirage

== Summary ==
borb's mitsubishi mirage

Son-Chu

2020-09-03T20:21:27Z

Buick lesabre: /* Cadillac Seville */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-03T19:47:49Z

Buick lesabre: /* Barb's Aerostar */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2020-09-03T08:53:53Z

Buick lesabre:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name [[Chris]] gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that he drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until [[November 2018]], when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth incarnation of Son-Chu.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. Despite its damaged engine block, the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>:

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|200px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]

The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[26 December 2014|go mental in the store]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
*During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
*In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

*In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. Other than being what Chris was driving during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident,]] it never saw much action. It only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

File:Screenshot 46.png

2020-09-03T08:09:10Z

Buick lesabre: Barb's Ford Aerostar

== Summary ==
Barb's Ford Aerostar