CWCki - User contributions [en]

GameStop is UNFAIR to Everyone; Not Just Me!

2016-01-02T04:05:34Z

CKO67:

'''GameStop is UNFAIR to Everyone; Not Just Me!''' is a video Chris uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 7 [[December 2015]], in response to a letter from [[GameStop]] expanding his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]] from the video games store's [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] branch to the entire state of [[Virginia]]. Considering how belligerent his letter to them was, this response comes as no surprise.

Even though the letter stresses the availability of online shopping for games, Chris is undeterred, and also seems to miss or ignore the possibility of taking his latest incarnation of [[Son-chu]] and hauling ass to West Virginia or Washington D.C. to get his goodies instead, both of which are within two hours from [[Ruckersville]].

He urges his fans to go to [[Gamestop]] stores and protest about what he claims is being unfair to autistics and the LGBT community. His tone for the entire video is sulky and whiny. He expects the Human Rights Campaign - an organization concerned with the gross mistreatment of sexual minorities - to support his childish personal vendetta against four local shops that rightfully banned him for being an idiot. Interestingly, one of his biggest problems with the store is how they don't sell Battletoads ''(worthy of note is that the last Battletoads game was the Arcade Version back in '''1994''', and GameStop in fact DOES supply Battletoads NES and Arcade via "Rare Replay" on Hexbox One)'', and also whines that they destroy unsold games (when they could be giving them to him, presumably).

His [[Chris's mannerisms|mannerisms]] are more cartoonish than ever; the shifts in his face and the pitch of his voice are more reminiscent of [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|an insipid animated character]] than an actual human being - an indicator of his continued isolation. His [[Chris and his ego|ego]] has evidently led him to think that he is a representative for all [[Autism|autistic]] and [[Tomgirl Saga|LBGTQ]] people, as he labours the idea that Gamestop is discriminating against him on the basis of his neurology and and gender identity. Yet despite their "discrimination", Chris [[Hypocrisy|still wants to be unbanned]] due to "points on the PowerUp, discounts on Pre-Owned items, [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]] included, and fair deals there," as he stated on a Facebook comment. As even a cursory glance will reveal, Chris is playing his old card of [[Kick the Autistic]] combined with a new addition to his hand - kick the lesbian tomgirl tranny transgender what-have-you.

Chris also appears to be attempting to imitate British mannerisms, probably from binge watching ''Doctor Who'' and the 80's British Sitcom ''Keeping Up Appearances'' (or simply an eerie imitation of [[Catherine]]), but completely misuses most of them and can't seem to decide on an accent.

==Description==
{{quotebox|We have received a response from GameStop, and it is certainly not good news at all. But, we must Protest Further. Because, not only me, they have a habit of BANNING Multiple Customers. They Discriminate of ANYTHING Battletoads. They Destroy ALL of their unsold games, instead of Donating them to the Hospitals, Children and whatnot.}}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = GameStop is UNFAIR to Everyone; Not Just Me!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BUd_7H8kBAg}}
| stardate = 7 [[December 2015]]
| style = {{Reason|text}} {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = “Do What Makes You Happy” lilac T-shirt
| previous = [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]]
| next = [[Seasons Greetings]]
}}

== Transcript ==
Good evening, fans. Apparently we finally have received a response from [[GameStop]]. Uh, but I would just like to go on record that uh, if it turns out that if this letter was not real, turned out to be a prank from somebody in the mailroom of GameStop possibly at the very least, they need to tell me directly, and what the deal is, because certainly being tired of being ignored.
[[File:Gamestop vs cwc.jpg|right|300px]]
Anyway uh, with that I’ll read the letter right now. [''clears throat''] “December 4th, 2015. Dear Miss Chandler: This letter is to inform you that your petition to remove your existing ban from our GameStop retail locations in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]] [] was received and forwarded on to our corporate Safety and Loss Prevention Team per company policy for review. I was assigned your case number and have referenced the existing legal files concerning the attempted assault—quote-unquote—on one of our employees on [[26 December 2014|December 26th, 2014]], to provide context to your letter. I have also interviewed the [[manajerks|managerial staff]] at the 1549 Rio [''pronounced Rye-oh''] Road East, Charlottesville, Virginia, 22901 retail store location. While your patronage is appreciated, we have concluded based upon extensive evaluation of your case that expanding the current local ban to a statewide ban would be in the best interests of both parties. We take the safety of our employees and customer base very seriously and believe that the precedence set by your previous behavior and the threatening tone of your letter towards one of our valued employees unfortunately indicates a high likelihood of future conflict. I have enclosed a complete list of the GameStop restail stores where you are no longer permitted entry for your convenience. Please be aware that our employees will be instructed to contact [[jerkops|local law enforcement]] for the immediate intervention if you should enter the premises at any of these locations. We hope that you will consider our GameStop online resources [''Chris gives thumbs down''] as a viable alternative to all of your game-related needs. Best wishes, Rus Rogerson, Corporate Safety and Loss Representative, GameStop Corporate Office and Headquarters, 625 Westport Parkway, Grapevine, Texas, 76051.”

[''throws down letter''] And essentially the list has me banned from...statewide. Everywhere in Virginia, they all the GameStops in Virginia, essentially, which, that just really pissed me off. It really pisses me off! But I am not, I did not mean anything threatening in my letter. Their interpretation was quite off. And, things made it worse. I mean, I only asked to be unbanned from four [''holds up three, then four fingers''] stores, in addition to a [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|shopping mall]] and one [[Best Buy]] location. They go and ban me statewide among the [] locations of all those stores! Ugh! This, this really, we need to step it up. Everybody! Go to your local GameStops and bring up a, and make a, bring up a sign of your own, and write on that, quote-unquote, “GameStop: Bloody unfair to [[autism|autistic]] people and [[homos|lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, and queer people]].” This will certainly be forwarded to the Human Rights Campaign, Autism Awareness, and the Better Business Bureau, among all places.

Oh, and just to note—to take this to, to counter their attack, I have found and learned of a few other flaws in their plan, of which I am to quote; I have them written down among which....They apparently have banned a lot—a lot—of PEOPLE! Lots of peoplllle! With hardly a reason, other than I don’t know Lords, don’t know Lords knows what. What is the bloody past memory in those people in that corporate office to turn them into such cruel, soulless, heartless, bleedin’ bastards?
Anyway, aside from that, they also do not sell anything Battletoads. No Battletoads! Anywhere, in any GameStop! No Battletoads! Not even the raaaare remake on the Hex-Box! No Battletoads! They totally discriminate against Battletoads! Errybody loves Battletoads! Y’all should be siding with me on this.

And, among which, you know what they do to every last video game, used or otherwise possibly new that they cannot sell? You know what they do? [''mimes''] I have a mallet in my hand! This is a NES game of Super Mario Brothers Duck Hunt. Psshew! Smash it! THEY DESTROY THOSE GAAAMES! All my vintage br-, brethren, vintage gaming re-, brethren—you want to see those vintage games once again. You don’t want GameStop to destroy them. And even worse, here’s another bit: the hospitals and charities for the children—they have gone to GameStop and asked if they would donate any used games or any games at all. But guess what? They downright refuuuse! They do not donate any video games whatsoever. Used, new, none they could sell ever—no donation!

So therefore it is quite outright. GameStops are quite outright. So therefore, in respect to, among these, and the other reasons among [[YouTube]] videos and [[internet]] searches and what—heartless. GameStop does to a lot of people. And discriminations among which! We must protest! Cancel any preorders. And certainly, do not use their online resources for further purchases! And if I am imitating any accent, it is quite accidental and coincidental! But I mean it! Not to be threatening to anybody in particular, but you’re not, but this to reflect how upset I am! And we have found—GameStop people, people who work there discriminate against Battletoads. They banned more than just me! They discriminate against autistic people, the lesbians, gays, bisexual, transgenders, and the queer. They discriminate against Battletoads. They destroyed all the unsold gaaames! Downright! Very bad, bloody! Bloody bloody bastards! Heartless, soulless. We stand amongst them! Not only to get me unbanned statewide and everywhere, but to make them not so discriminatatiiiive. Unfair to autistics, LGBTQ, Battletoads, and pretty much, the unsold, and everything. [[Star Wars|Unfair to everybody, GameStop is.]]

[''deep breath''] That’s pretty much all I have to say. And the express in my emotions. Thank you for your continuing support. Oh! The [[Amiibo]] figures—guess what? There’s still Toys ‘R’ Us, there’s still [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], there’s still [[Target]], and guess what? Ten dollars apiece or so for the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonics]] and the Pikachu among which. There is [[eBay]] and Amazon! So, I am not haltered...on my own creations. And henceforth, so the orders on [[Etsy]] will continue to be honored, very much so. Thank you very much. Have a good and safe day...and DOWN WITH GAMESTOP!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]]|nextlink=[[Seasons Greetings]]|}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2015-12-02T17:11:50Z

CKO67:

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 33-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman with [[Chris and his ego|delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in [[Borb|his parents]]' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you,using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]], and not having your life's mission be to [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing]] a children's character's arms. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an ebay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the ebay shop became a mild success he moved to etsey. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.

His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a Fat-Ass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent(and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.

Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]

More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulting an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.

In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2015-12-02T17:00:23Z

CKO67: /* Discovery */

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 33-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman with [[Chris and his ego|delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in [[Borb|his parents]]' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you,using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]], and not having your life's mission be to [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing]] a children's character's arms. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an ebay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the ebay shop became a mild success he moved to etsey. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.

His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a Fat-Ass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent(and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.

Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]

More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulting an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.

In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2015-12-02T16:45:03Z

CKO67:

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] Christine Weston Chandler [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] Fat-Ass Satan's Agent On Earth
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present) Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) [[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 33-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman with [[Chris and his ego|delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in [[Borb|his parents]]' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you,using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]], and not having your life's mission be to [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing]] a children's character's arms. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an ebay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the ebay shop became a mild success he moved to etsey. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.

His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a Fat-Ass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.

Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.

The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]

More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulting an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.

In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

{{clear}}

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>

==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Pre-1980

2015-11-10T17:03:36Z

CKO67: /* Pre-1900 */

{{DeadLinks}}
This page covers events in the [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]] occurring '''before 1980'''.

==Timeline==
===Pre-1900===
*'''c. 1499/1500 – 19 July 1543''' - The life of [[Wikipedia:Mary Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''c. 1501/07 – 19 May 1536''' - The life of [[Anne Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.
*'''1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/35''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''1620''' - The ''Mayflower'' sails, allegedly with [[Daniel Weston]] aboard.
*'''1723''' - Foundation of [[Ruckersville]].
*'''1762''' - Foundation of [[Charlottesville]].
*'''1776''' - [[United States of America|Declaration Of Independence]].
*'''3 October 1896''' - Joseph Otto Weston, Barbara's father, is born.

===1900s===
*'''1906''' - Birth of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr., Bob's father.
*'''1906''' - Birth of Jean Holloman, Bob's mother.

===1910s===
*'''15 December 1911''' - Barbara's mother, Carrie Edna Wynn, is born.
*'''18 July 1913''' - Birth of [[Red Skelton]].

===1920s===
*'''1926''' - Barbara's parents, Joseph Otto Weston and Carrie Edna Wynn, marry.
*'''4 September 1927''' - Birth of [[Bob Chandler]].

===1930s===
*'''1935''' - Bob begins collecting stamps.
*'''26 January 1936''' - Birth of [[Aunt Corrina]].

===1940s===
*'''1 October 1941''' - Birth of [[Barbara Chandler]].
*'''28 October 1942''' - Birth of Thomas Eugene Ashby, husband of Barbara's sister, Harriett Ashby.
*'''Spring 1945''' - Bob graduates from Sylacauga High School in Sylacauga, AL.
*'''10 May 1945''' - Death of Jean Holloman, Bob's mother.
*'''Fall 1945 - Spring 1946''' - Bob attends his freshman year at Auburn University according to the Auburn University 1946 yearbook. He majors in Aeronautical Engineering.
*'''6 July 1946''' - Birth of [[George W. Bush]].
*'''18 July 1946''' - Bob is drafted into the U.S. Army and is stationed in [[:File:Chris Korean War Graphic.jpg|Korea]] with the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]].<ref><s>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWYHFIKXJY</s> (Dead link)</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
*'''1947 January 9''' - Harriett Ashby, Barb's sister, is born.
*'''April 1948''' - Bob is discharged from the Army after a 21-month tour of duty.
*'''Fall 1948''' - Bob enters Jacksonville State Teachers College in Jacksonville, Alabama in order to study Pre-Engineering.
*'''1949''' - The [[Lego]] Group first begins manufacturing its titular brand of building blocks.

===1950s===
*'''Around this time''' - Barbara loses her [[Virgin with Rage|virginity]].<ref name="FacebookVirginity">According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from 30 [[January 2012]], in which Chris says that Barbara lost her virginity in high school while Bob lost his virginity at age 27.</ref>
*'''Fall 1950''' - Bob returns to Auburn University in order to study Electrical Engineering
*'''Spring 1952''' - Bob graduates from Auburn University with a degree in Electrical Engineering.
*'''1954'''/'''1955''' - Bob loses his virginity.<ref name="FacebookVirginity" />
*'''8 April 1955''' - Barb's father, Joseph Otto Weston, is killed while hauling wood along a rural road near Red Oak, Virginia. He fell off his horse drawn wagon, was run over by one of its rear wheels and died of a broken neck. His body was discovered after his horse and wagon arrived without their driver at a service station.
*'''1956''' - Birth of [[Michael Snyder]].<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]</s> (Dead Link - 27 August 2015)</ref>
*'''1957''' - Birth of [[Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
*'''20 July 1958''' - Birth of [[BILLY MAYS]].

===1960s===
*'''1960''' - Barb graduates from Randolph-Henry High School.
*'''1961''' - Ran Coleman Yeatts, Cole's biological father, graduates from Wake Forest University.
*'''16 June 1961''' - Barbara marries Ran Coleman Yeatts.
*'''4 August 1961''' - Birth of [[Barack Obama]].
*'''28 November 1962''' - Birth of [[David Chandler]].<ref>[[:File:457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]]</ref>
*'''24 July 1963''' - Birth of [[Cole Smithey]].
*'''1964''' - Jack Dale Smithey, the man who Barbara said was Cole's father, disappears after living in Richmond for at least a year.
*'''29 May 1964''' - Harriett Weston marries Thomas Eugene Ashby.
*'''27 August 1964''' - Walt Disney Pictures releases ''[[Mary Poppins]]''.
*'''1 December 1966''' - Bob files a patent for a vehicle logging system.
*'''23 August 1967''' - Carrie Edna Wynn, Barbara's mother, dies.
*'''7 July 1969''' - Birth of [[Carol Chandler]].
*'''23 December 1969''' - Bob's patent for a vehicle logging system is published.

===1970s===
*'''26 December 1973''' - Bob files a patent for a "Shot volume and cushion point control for injection molding apparatus".
*'''17 June 1975''' - Bob's patent for a "Shot volume and cushion point control for injection molding apparatus" is published.
*'''4 July 1976''' - Birth of [[Clyde Cash]].
*'''Late 1970s''' - Bob works as a sing-along leader at Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, Richmond, Virginia.
*'''1977''' - [[14 Branchland Court]] is built.
*'''27 December 1977''' - Death of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr., Bob's father.
*'''1979''' - Bob and Barbara meet during a karaoke night at a local bar. Barbara watches Bob sing and is smitten by him.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref>
*'''14 December 1979''' - Birth of [[Joseph Herring]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

9 February 2010

2015-08-26T16:01:28Z

CKO67:

'''9 February 2010''' (officially '''02092010.MOV''') is a video where Chris comments on the destruction of the [[CWCipedia]], threatens to use his "psychic powers" to jail and kill the people behind the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]], and claims the CWCipedia will be rebuilt with his [[Monthly Tugboat|own funds]]. He also states that he is [[Father Call|still shoveling snow]], and drawing the comic.

In his [[I am Alive|previous video]], Chris claimed that he was willing to acquiesce to [[Evan]]'s demands and do away with the character [[Simonla Rosechu]], Chris's imitation of Evan's [[Evan#Simonchu|Simonchu]]. Here, however, Chris admits the obvious: that he never planned to willingly stop infringing on Evan's creation. In an [[Chris and his Ego|impressive(read: "nauseating") display of self-righteousness]], he characterizes being pressured to do the right thing as "blackmail."

The threats made in this video would later be incorporated into the ending of [[Sonichu 10]], where [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris<s>'s alter ego</s>]], with the help of other characters, brutally tortures and executes the [[Asperpedia|Asperpedia Four]] after they are given a show trial and condemned to death.

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 02092010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yghjR8i6mhk}}
| stardate = 9 [[February 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt|text}} STRAIGHT White Lines
| previous = [[I am Alive#Part 2|One more thing...]]
| next = [[Christian Love Day (video)]]
}}

{{quote|They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Captain's Log]], February 9th, 2010.

As much as it is to my dismay, I have to point out... but, you can thank... ''Alec. [[Evan]]. Sean.'' And ''Mao'' on the [[Asperpedia]], 'cuz I got... confessions from them. And they have done so already. They. Took down. My own [[CWCipedia]]. They even pr- they even... prohibited me from being able to make any updates! Because of that god dang Evan. [''Clenches his [[Claw of Fail|claw]] into a fist.''] If I could go back to before [[November 2007]], I would've never view that- viewed that damn [[ED]] page, and then I would never have had to deal with you damn dirty [[trolls]]. But I know I realize one thing now, and I have suffered through so much torment, and this one just really just takes the cake.

You all just want a response from me... you get one hell of a response. And L- [[True and Loyal Fanbase|all my true, loyal fans]].. can s.. ''blame those in the Asperpedia'', [''points at the camera with four fingers''] those four. 'Cuz they ''have''... done the wrongest. They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable, but ''can'' be re- built. And I will rebuild it... with my own help, and [[Chris and money|my own funds]].

I have people on the inside. The CWCipedia will be back up. And I never wanted to kill [[Simonla]]. But I was practically back- ''blackmailed'' by that goddamned Evan. [''Raises Claw of Fail again.''] I would have him in a psychic link within my [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|psychic powers]], [[Manchester High School|FROZEN IN TIME]]! And then I would put him in the jail cell... as with the same fate between Alec, Sean, ''and'' Mao. And after what they have done unto me so far, which they did not have to do, but they did and they are all guilty of tormenting me like they have... I would have them [[Death threats|EXECUTED]]! And I don't care what they think or what they say, this is my stand against you four: [''flips off camera with his right hand''] Rot. [''flips off camera with his left hand''] ''In.'' [''throws both hands at the camera as if doing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]'']
{{RageQuote|HELL!!}}
[''Moment of silence. Chris appears to be on the brink of tears.'']

Anyway, everybody else... have a good day. [[Lie|I'm still shoveling snow and drawing and coloring]], regardless of there bein' a website or not.

[''Looks all dejected and reaches for his camera to turn it off'']

Have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I am Alive]]|nextlink=[[Christian Love Day (video)]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, February 2010| 2010-02-09]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-02-09]]
[[Category: CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-02-09]]

9 February 2010

2015-08-26T16:00:41Z

CKO67:

'''9 February 2010''' (officially '''02092010.MOV''') is a video where Chris comments on the destruction of the [[CWCipedia]], threatens to use his "psychic powers" to jail and kill the people behind the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]], and claims the CWCipedia will be rebuilt with his [[Monthly Tugboat|own funds]]. He also states that he is [[Father Call|still shoveling snow]], and drawing the comic.

In his [[I am Alive|previous video]], Chris claimed that he was willing to acquiesce to [[Evan]]'s demands and do away with the character [[Simonla Rosechu]], Chris's imitation of Evan's [[Evan#Simonchu|Simonchu]]. Here, however, Chris admits the obvious: that he never planned to willingly stop infringing on Evan's creation. In an [[Chris and his Ego|impressive(read: "nauseating" display of self-righteousness]], he characterizes being pressured to do the right thing as "blackmail."

The threats made in this video would later be incorporated into the ending of [[Sonichu 10]], where [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris<s>'s alter ego</s>]], with the help of other characters, brutally tortures and executes the [[Asperpedia|Asperpedia Four]] after they are given a show trial and condemned to death.

==Video==
{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 02092010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yghjR8i6mhk}}
| stardate = 9 [[February 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt|text}} STRAIGHT White Lines
| previous = [[I am Alive#Part 2|One more thing...]]
| next = [[Christian Love Day (video)]]
}}

{{quote|They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Captain's Log]], February 9th, 2010.

As much as it is to my dismay, I have to point out... but, you can thank... ''Alec. [[Evan]]. Sean.'' And ''Mao'' on the [[Asperpedia]], 'cuz I got... confessions from them. And they have done so already. They. Took down. My own [[CWCipedia]]. They even pr- they even... prohibited me from being able to make any updates! Because of that god dang Evan. [''Clenches his [[Claw of Fail|claw]] into a fist.''] If I could go back to before [[November 2007]], I would've never view that- viewed that damn [[ED]] page, and then I would never have had to deal with you damn dirty [[trolls]]. But I know I realize one thing now, and I have suffered through so much torment, and this one just really just takes the cake.

You all just want a response from me... you get one hell of a response. And L- [[True and Loyal Fanbase|all my true, loyal fans]].. can s.. ''blame those in the Asperpedia'', [''points at the camera with four fingers''] those four. 'Cuz they ''have''... done the wrongest. They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable, but ''can'' be re- built. And I will rebuild it... with my own help, and [[Chris and money|my own funds]].

I have people on the inside. The CWCipedia will be back up. And I never wanted to kill [[Simonla]]. But I was practically back- ''blackmailed'' by that goddamned Evan. [''Raises Claw of Fail again.''] I would have him in a psychic link within my [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|psychic powers]], [[Manchester High School|FROZEN IN TIME]]! And then I would put him in the jail cell... as with the same fate between Alec, Sean, ''and'' Mao. And after what they have done unto me so far, which they did not have to do, but they did and they are all guilty of tormenting me like they have... I would have them [[Death threats|EXECUTED]]! And I don't care what they think or what they say, this is my stand against you four: [''flips off camera with his right hand''] Rot. [''flips off camera with his left hand''] ''In.'' [''throws both hands at the camera as if doing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]'']
{{RageQuote|HELL!!}}
[''Moment of silence. Chris appears to be on the brink of tears.'']

Anyway, everybody else... have a good day. [[Lie|I'm still shoveling snow and drawing and coloring]], regardless of there bein' a website or not.

[''Looks all dejected and reaches for his camera to turn it off'']

Have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I am Alive]]|nextlink=[[Christian Love Day (video)]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, February 2010| 2010-02-09]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-02-09]]
[[Category: CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-02-09]]

Sonic Boom Protests

2015-06-24T17:50:03Z

CKO67: /* Chris (Still) Blames Everyone Else for His Problems */

{{Ongoing}}
{{Needs Updating}}

''For the song, click [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|here]].''
[[File:ChrisSonicBoomArms.jpg|thumb|Remember kids: always effect change through vandalism. [[26 December 2014|What could possibly go wrong?]]]]
[[File:PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg|thumb|Chris's protest inserts.]]

Towards late [[2014]], while everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about [[Chris and his Ego|less]] [[Homos|important]] [[Women's rights|political]] [[Chris and race|concerns]], [[Chris]] decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to '''make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue''' (as opposed to the usual tan color) in their latest ''non-canon'' game in the series. He is so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he has gone so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees, glitterbomb Sega's American HQ, and even physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] is at its peak, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channeling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he sees them. And then, when GameStop employees rightfully tried to get him out of the store one day, he proceeded to walk out but not before [[26 December 2014|brandishing his can of mace and spraying it at one poor employee's shirt]].

It once was unclear whether or not he will boycott ''Sonic Boom'' or just buy the games and watch the show like the [[Chris and brand loyalty|consumerist lemming]] he is. Given his irrational hatred and acts of vandalism towards otherwise available games, the former is more likely. On 13 [[January 2015]], it was [[Kiwi Farms|revealed]] that he did indeed buy both versions of the game and [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that they were sent to him by [[Catherine]], making him even more of a humongous hypocrite than [[wikipedia:Mr. Whipple|Mr. Whipple]].

Why Chris has such a bizarre distaste for such a minor, insignificant detail in the first place is still up for speculation. It could simply be some [[Manchester High School|overly-attached nostalgia]] to the 'original' Sonic the Hedgehog, or possibly some inner-venting for his own [[Sonichu (comic)|failed franchise]] that he is determined to get into ''Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and [[Nintendo]] [[3DS]]''. Whatever the reason, it certainly isn't [[health]]y for Chris, given his current [[Chris and psychology|state]]. In other words, this makes the reactions to Godzilla getting "fatter" in the 2014 movie, or the lightsabers in ''[[Star Wars]] Episode VII: The Force Awakens'', seem simple and quaint in comparison.

==Protests==
===Blarms Backstory===
Chris's hatred for Sonic's blue arms started in February 2014, when the first advertisements for the ''Sonic Boom'' TV show appeared on [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]]. In December he offered the following chronology:

{{quotebox|3 December 2014

I have just received a question from one of my girl friends: "So, I'm curious, where did you hear about this blue-armed Sonic Issue? Is it something you discovered on your own, or is it a bigger issue in the Sonic community?"

To best answer this question, and to VERY MUCH my visual dismay and further recollection: I HAVE been feeling this SINCE Last February. I needed to search for the ONE Announcement Trailer Video of the DAMN TV Show. I Remember finding it for myself on either Facebook through SEGA's feed, or on YouTube through the video recommendations, on my laptop, as we were moving into the temporary house. I felt UTTER Shock at the sight of the Blue Arms on Sonic immediately as I watched it for the first time that day in Early February, 2014; This Year.

I was too busy and [[Stress|stressed]] from collecting as much as possible from the burnt house, and bringing them either to our Storage Unit, and this house's basement

I had not thought about the issue much, UNTIL Last June or July with the E3 Trailers being presented on the SEGA and Sonic Facebook Pages! Since Then, I have continuously protested the Blue Arms by commenting and messaging them that "Sonic's Arms are NOT Blue!!!" And among which, I have Warned Them that this sort of thing would NOT end well for them, and it was, and still is, a Very Bad Idea!!!

So, in short: I watched the damn trailer last February, I felt Pissed Off Then, I relearned about it last June or July: I Still felt Very Pissed Off, and NOW I am continually Growing and GROWING More Angry and PISSED OFF AT SEGA, NINTENDO AND CARTOON NETWORK AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED THERE!!!

I have Contacted SEGA and Commented NUMEROUSLY with MONTHS worth of time. They ignored me, Not Responded or Done Anything about it at all, and therefore the time for Talk IS LONG DONE AND OVERWITH!!! AND WE NEED ACTION UPON SEGA AND SONIC BOOM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

Thank you.

<nowiki>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_A3e2bl334</nowiki>}}
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris must ''really'' hate this drawing now.]]
For all the agitation and violence, Chris has never clearly explained exactly ''why'' this particular alteration to this particular cartoon character makes him so furious. The closest he came to explaining his confrontational stance was in a June Facebook post:

{{quote|I only just heard and seen the ugly change a few weeks ago, and I had too many other [[Stress|stresses]] going on to act earlier.

Why do I feel this way?

The same reason why many people feel [[Chris and race|Michael Jackson should]][[Chris and reality| not have had to ]][[Chris and race|change his color]]. Would you want to change your skin detail, just for a "change of image" or an "insecurity of self-concept"?

I would not even [[Chris and death|commit suicide ever]], because of how low in self-confidence and self-esteem I have been feeling for YEARS. I'm going to eventually [[Chris and health|pass natural]].

So let's get Sonic's arm color changed back!}}

He returned to the Michael Jackson analogy in November, arguing that "this Blue Arm Travesty is as Gosh Awful as Michael Jackson's whiteface thing!" He was careful to add, "Nothing personal against the Pop Star singer....And nothing personal against anyone of any Race or Color either."

While it is difficult to decipher Chris’s garbled sentences, it is clear that his fury is linked to his belief that Sonic, like all cartoon characters, [[Chris and reality|is real and lives in a parallel universe]]. Like many autistic people, Chris is very resistant to change, especially when it is forced upon him. Chris would not change (“commit suicide”) even in the face of tremendous hardship. Sonic, however, like the King of Pop, was forced to change for trivial reasons such as appealing to a broader audience. Sonic has been Chris’s lifelong hero with whom he identifies strongly, so he has taken this injustice very personally. Unfortunately, he falsely assumes that countless millions feel the same way.

At other times, however, Chris has latched onto the idea that the blue arms cause him "sensory overload." [[Sensory Overload|Sensory overload]] is a broad term simply meaning that the body reacts to overstimulation of a sense, but in autistics it generally refers to an abstract, specific sensory stimulus (such as blue arms) which the autistic person is simply unable to stand. However, if sensory overload were a real issue, all he would need to do is avoid Sonic Boom. Chris has never before complained about sensory overload, and damningly has gone so far as to ''draw blue-armed hedgehogs himself'' such as [[Chris and art|some depictions]] of [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. The truth is that Chris either believes that Sega is abusing his best friend, or he is using his [[autism]] as an attempt to sway the intentions of a multi-billion dollar worth company.

===Oh Noes, It's Got a Second Season!===
After discovering that the TV series was renewed for a second season, Chris posted on Facebook to complain about it again.

{{quotebox|5 December 2014

A Second Season of the ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ show with those, [[Stress sigh|UGH!!!]], Blue Arms?!!! Hell No!!!

Boycott ‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬ With Me!!! Refuse to Watch the channel!!! Refuse to go to their Website for Any Reason as well!!! And TELL THEM TO PULL THE DAMN CARTOON FROM THE AIR AND FORCE ‪#‎SEGA‬ TO RECOLOUR SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

http://www.gamnesia.com/news/sonic-boom-cartoon-is-very-successful-second-season-confirmed

[[File:GamenesiaSonicBoom.jpg|220px]]}}

===Spreading the Good Word===
{{quotebox|5 December 2014

Also, Spreading the good word around; commenting and messaging others as I have? Copy/Paste the following short-but-direct message, with the link below:

SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! SEGA NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING SONIC BOOM, UNTIL SEGA WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS ARM COLOUR BACK, NOW!!!

Join My Group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/}}

===Greatest Mistake Ever===
{{quotebox|7 December 2014

Follow My Lead to Force SEGA to Wise Up and Fix Their Greatest Mistake Ever!!!}}

Chris later on posted a link to this post to his Facebook group:

{{quotebox|
EVERYONE! I am going to hand-write to SEGA about this matter, and I have just called their 1-800 number and left a message last night. I will call again middle of this coming week if they do not call me back.

I am urging everyone in the group to write and/or telephone SEGA as well, and INSIST and DEMAND upon them to Recall Everything Sonic Boom, including the cartoon and video games, and Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately!!!

Suggest for them to do the following:
-Recall ALL remaining stock of the Sonic Boom Games and Merchandise from ALL of the stores carrying them.
-On the eSHOPS, IMMEDIATELY change the initial software to reflect Sonic with his original Tan Colour Arms, as well ALL video and imagery therein on there.
-Replace ALL of their imagery and videos on their official websites and pages to reflect Sonic with the original tan colour arms as well.
-IMMEDIATELY create NEW game Cards, Discs AND Inserts with Sonic's original tan colour arms. And on the software, the arm colour MUST be there INITIALLY; BEFORE any downloaded Software Updates.
-INSTILL downloadable Software Updates for all of the already sold games to reflect Sonic Initially with tan colour arms as well.
-REMOVE the Sonic Boom Cartoon from the Television and Internet airwaves, and change ALL of the Season One Episodes for Sonic to have his Original Tan Colour Arms, and Initially make that default in ALL following Seasons of episodes, including the Second Season.
-AND They Must Announce this Recall and Update, As well as Apologies to Every Individual Person who Has Found Little to GREATEST Offense in the new Arm Colour, IMMEDIATELY, WORLDWIDE BROADCAST AND IN PRINTED MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHERE!!!

Also, copy and paste the following true statement in your letters and telephone conversations:

"The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis. Combined with his Autism, he only gets more angry as each day passes with this pair of blue arms still remains. Either the Change back to him having tan colored arms happens IMMEDIATELY, or he and our THOUSANDS to MILLIONS of allies in the Sonic the Hedgehog Loyal Fanbase will only get more Angry and Outraged to the point of coming right over there to your office and doing something Very Bad there."

Also, if somehow you have managed to receive a copy of either Sonic Boom game (no questions asked), you should SMASH the Game Disc and or Game Card, and enclose the pieces with your Letter to SEGA of America. To show them that we are Very Serious and Passionate towards Rectifying their mistake in changing Sonic's arm colour.

Below is their address, and Customer Support phone number; LET'S GIVE THEM HELL AND BACK IN FORCING THEM TO WISE UP AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

'''[REDACTED]'''

‪#‎SEGA‬
‪#‎SonicTheHedgehog‬
‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎Nintendo‬
‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬
‪#‎GameStop‬
‪#‎ToysRUs‬
‪#‎WalMart‬
‪#‎Target‬
‪#‎BestBuy‬
‪#‎WiiU‬
‪#‎Wii‬
‪#‎3DS‬
‪#‎DS‬
‪#‎DSi‬
‪#‎AmyRose‬
‪#‎Tails‬
‪#‎Knuckles‬
‪#‎Robotnik‬
‪#‎Eggman‬}}

===Pickle Joke===
[[File:Black man in pickle suit (1).jpg|thumb|right|The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]'s reaction.]]
In Chris's new "FIX SONIC'S ARMS BACK" Facebook group, Chris posted about the pickle joke in the show, surprisingly being "neutral"
about it. Naturally, however, he eventually suspects it to be a [[Chris and his Ego|personal insult from SEGA]].
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===For Christ's and God's Sake===
Chris shared another of SEGA's Facebook posts, this time about introducing the main character, and Chris as usual complained about his blue arms.
{{quotebox|12 December 2014

For [[Chris and religion|Christ's and God's]] Sake, PLEASe CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

[[File:SonicIntroduction.png|220px]]}}

===E-mail to SEGA===
On 11 [[December 2014]], CWCki user [[User:FromtheWordsofBR|FromtheWordsofBR]] jokingly sent an e-mail to Sega Customer Service under Chris's email, suggesting that they send him free copies of ''Sonic Boom'' for the [[HEXbox]]. Chris discovered this the next day, and proceeded to rage.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-dec-12-chriss-e-mail-to-sega.6462/</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''Ticket #137668: SONIC'S ARMS ARE. NOT BLUE!!!:'''
Hello,

Thank you for contacting Sega of America Customer Service. Your request (#137668) has been received, and is being reviewed by our support staff. Response times may vary, but typically you will hear back from us within the same business day. Our agents are on hand from 9AM to 5PM Pacific Standard Time, Monday through Friday (with the exception of US national holidays). Requests received over the weekend will be answered the following Monday.

To review the status of this request and add additional comments, follow the link below:

http://help.sega.com/requests/137668

You may also reply via email.}}
{{quotebox|
'''Chrischansonichu, Nov 20 00:07:'''
Listen, I DID NOT contact you initially with the message there. That was a HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL PRETENDING TO BE ME.

But since I have your attention now, I will bring it up directly with you now. MONTHS NOW, Sonic's Arms Being Blue has SERIOUSLY BEEN BOTHERING ME! They have caused me sensory overload Every Time I see them! They Have To Be Changed Back Now!!! I have contacted SEGA via their Facebook page, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page. Please see attached screen cap photos.

PLEASE RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK!!! Or I will Do Worse!!!

I am still Very Pissed Off that no one has Fixed the Monstrosity that is Changing Sonic's Arm Color! I am Boycotting the Sonic Boom Games and TV Show and the Toys, minus the two I bought to illustrate my point, and everything else of it.

FIX SONIC'S ARM COLOR NOW, or I CONTINUE TO RANT, RAVE, BOYCOTT AND COMPLAIN!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! IF I FIND EITHER SONIC BOOM GAME ON ANY SHELVES IN THE STORES, WITH SONIC'S ARMS STILL BLUE, I WILL BE GOING SOO FUCKING CRAZY TO PREVENT EVERYONE FROM SEEING THE BLUE ARM MONSTROSITY!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME, SEGA?! I WOULD TOTALLY BOYCOTT A N CHANNEL AND ENCOURAGE EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THAT AS WELL!!!

WISE UP NOW AND RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM NOW, and maybe I would close the group and the petition and give y'all my money as well.

AND THIS IS MORE THAN JUST SOFTWARE UPDATES!!! YOU RECALL ALL OF THE WIIU AND 3DS GAMES, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE GAME INSERTS, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE INITIAL SOFTWARE DISCS AND CARTRIDGES, PRE-UPDATE!!!

AND PULL THE CARTOON AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE N SHOW!

AND RECALL ALL OF THE SONIC PLUSHES AND FIGURES FROM THE STORES, AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS WELL!!!

DO IT ALL NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SERIOUS SENSORY DAMAGE AND THEN SOME HELL TO PAY!!! }}

===The Forces of [[CWCville]] Besiege GameStop===
{{Main|26 December 2014}}

On 26 December, Chris broke several laws by entering a [[GameStop]] from which he had been banned, vandalizing a Sonic Boom display, and ''macing an employee'' who was calling security as Chris left the store. All of this was recorded by a presumably bewildered bystander, and was uploaded to Tumblr the next day. Within two days of his attack, Chris was incarcerated in Albemarle Regional Jail, then released on a $2,500 bail, with a hearing scheduled for early [[2015]].

===Sonic Boom for Christmas===
Phone chat log:
{{quotebox|26 December 2014

[MALE VOICE]: It's the uhh-the uhh- Sonic Boom game. [hand game to Chris]

CHRIS: Ok, I'll take it as a gift, thank you.

[MALE VOICE]: No problem man. I hope you enjoy it.

CHRIS: I'm hoping that they come out with an update where they change his arm color back.

[MALE VOICE]: Why-Why would they change his arm color?

CHRIS: Well, didn't you notice on the cover they did, it's. . . . . . .well, you look on his left arm. . . . .it's blue there.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. So he has blue arms?

CHRIS: Yeah. I really hate that change.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. What for?

CHRIS: Ehh. Just. . . . .too much. Just too drastic. It's like Michael Jackson changing his skin color.

[MALE VOICE]: Have, have you asked them, sent them any feedback, asked them to change it. . .

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah I did, when I first saw the TV trailer, the TV show trailer right before E3. They just pretty much swept me under the rug and blocked me from their facebook.

[MALE VOICE]: Why would they do that?

CHRIS: Well, they did. And also, I've been repetitive, like, "Sonic's arms are not freakin' blue". And. . . .yeah, I have threatened them like, you know, if you don't change his arms back. . . . .

[MALE VOICE]: What did you say? What did you threaten them with?

CHRIS: Life threats. Like you know, I took a- I had bought a plush of the new sonic with the blue arms, and I covered his new arms with flesh colored Crayola Model Magic, and I like took a couple of photographs of me holdin' it, and I'm like pulling his arms off, and I said, you better do it, or I will, parentheses, not, tear his arms off.

[MALE VOICE]: So you made life threats against Sega then?

CHRIS: Well, ehh, not in the direct sense.

[MALE VOICE]: You mean that you threatened to kill them?

CHRIS: No.

[MALE VOICE]: No? Well, I mean, you said life threats, so. . . . . . . .it sounds like you're really passionate about it.

CHRIS: Yes I am.

[MALE VOICE]: Well, I mean, Sonic, his arms were uhh, flesh colored before that, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: So, I mean, can't you just ignore the blue armed Sonic?

CHRIS: I can- I can- it's just too much. Every time I look at the blue arms, even in anything related to the games which they show on cartoon network, I see the blue arms, I go into sensory overload and get really, really,
more pissed off.

[MALE VOICE]: Yeah. Chris, when these cyberbullies first started attacking you, and stuff like that, you got pissed off then, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: . . . and it ended up being a bad thing when you reacted, right?

CHRIS: Yeah, but except, I'm not reacting to a troll attack, I'm reacting to something which has been done. Like a, like a, presidential decision that has gone really wrong. Like, let's say Obama's. . . . .life-care thing?

[MALE VOICE]: Obamacare. The health-care thing. So you're anti-Obamacare then?

CHRIS: Well, uhh, I'm not one hundred percent, I have heard about uhh, hmmmm, uhh, I don't remember exactly-but-or how to phrase it, but I have the gist of it.
}}

===Chris (Still) Blames Everyone Else for His Problems(Wait, Did We Say Still? We Meant Always)===
{{quotebox|5 [[January 2015]]
I have been on the move, with the heavy listings and transport back to my original house, and still sorting, organizing and all. I also have been at a Lack of WiFi and Internet access since last Wednesday. The only internet I have at home here is on the 3G on my phone.

I have been very busy and very stressed. And should anyone give me a difficult time during my outings resulting in turning my day bad with the verbal attacks and threats to my person, I Will Defend Myself, and only retaliate when absolutely necessary. I Would even spray myself.

I Sincerely Wish people would positively Like me, yet I am unable to change their minds. And if I Have to defend myself to get any respect as an individual person, then it is THEIR Fault for frightening me into that defensive stance.

‪#‎SEGA‬ will definitely hear of the Earlier Incident as well.
}}

===Green Irises Are Better Than Blarms===
{{quotebox|6 January 2015

Anyhow, someone SHOULD definitely send word to SEGA of America and Japan of my recent misfortunes resulting from the seed event of Sonic's Arm Colour being changed. Had they Not changed the arm colour, No one would have attacked me they way He had, followed by the warning spray of the pepper from my own fears and paranoia in self-defense. And I would have no reason to Protest the way I have.
This series of incidents definitely tops what's-his-name's whatever-he-did when they gave Sonic Green Irises for his eyes. THE green irises were an improvement; the Blue Arms are just Painful and Horrific.
}}

===Sega Forced Chris to Attack===
{{quotebox|8 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-8-chris-hates-sega-for-forcing-him-to-attack-somebody.6979/]

}}

===Boycott the Yarms===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-10-15-sonichus-arms-are-not-yellow.7009/]

}}

===The Seed Event===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!

}}

===Chris Rages On===
{{quotebox|12 January 2015

Off my rocker?! How Dare She? My Protest was Sound, Valid and Meant to be Good. And she completely ignores that on the day I had to defend myself from that Ass Manager, HE VERBALLY ATTACKED AND OFFENDED ME. And I had no idea of what other pains and stresses He was capable of doing, and I did not want him following me either. You All Do Not Understand my Fragile Mind, nor do Any of You All have Any Caring Nor Understanding to Leave a mentally scarred, damaged and flawed individual like me Be and At Personal Peace of Mind. BUT HELL NO! YOU ALL KEEP ON STRESSING ME MORE AND CAUSING PLEASANT DAYS GONE BAD ON ME. Especially MOST OF EVERY LAST MALE IN THIS WORLD; All of you are nothing but immature, borish, uncouth, and damned Neanderthals. It is no wonder why a lot of Women detest the lot of you, and why I am Most Disgusted and Ashamed to have been forced to be born a damned member of your Male Gender. Hmpf!
}}

===Chris Gives Up and Continues On at the Same Time===
{{quotebox|13 January 2015

This is in response to the post below this one about the so-called list of my purchased Nintendo software. Direct to the point: I have sincerely NEVER purchased either Sonic Boom game. The 3DS game, however, was actually Hand Given to me as a Gift from my ex-girlfriend, Catherine's Cousin, Al, after out bowling outing in Early December, 2014; Last Month.
I have registered the 3DS card through my [[Club Nintendo]] account, and explicitly told them in the survey that game Was Gifted to me; I Had Not Purchased it, period. And I Had shortly after received a copy of the Wii U Game In the Mail. I had disposed of the envelope, because there was no return address. I Would have registered that as well, but there as NO Club Nintendo code enclosed. I have Never booted or played either game, and I certainly never have inserted either card or disc into any of my handhelds or consoles at all ever. And to spare having it quoted in the comments below this point, or in any future comments and posts in this group or on my page: Being Gifted the thing you are protesting against against your initial will, regardless of acceptance out of being polite or whatever, it does NOT Change my position or aynthing integral of the Protest that I Have personally started and still am working towards the cause, period.

SEGA!!! CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! YOUR BLUE ARMS HAVE HURT NOT ONLY ME IN A NUMBER OF GREAT WAYS, BUT COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLE (GREATER THAN A THOUSAND INDIVIDUALS) AS WELL!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR LACK OF RECALL AND CORRECTIONS!!!}}

Here, Chris is referencing this[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-01-13-nintendo-employee-reveals-details-of-chriss-nintendo-transactions.7042/] Cwcki Forums article; apparently he lurks the forums frequently.

===Something Important===
{{quotebox|15 January 2015
I have something important to share of importance. After the incident on the 26th, on the court date on the 29th, the judge had documented that neither I, nor Any local GameStop stores or employees, come near or contact each other. I Have not contacted or visited any of them, but the day after on the 30th, One of them called My Cell Phone, TWICE, on the 30th, the day after that court date. I have Not listened to either of their messages; I had marked both of them "As Read". They both were just automatically removed from my voicemail list. But I screen capped the details from my phone a few days ago. I've had the numbers of the four GameStops, for any inquiries I had to make in the past.

Anyhow, They have violated the Court Rules there.

}}

===Kengle the Troll===
{{quotebox|19 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-19-kengle-trolls-chris-with-blue-arms-purchase.7218/]
}}

===You Dropped a Glitterbomb on Me, Baby===
[[File:GlitterbombNotice.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's hatred for something so minor becomes greatly unhealthy.]]
On 30 January 2015, a document was leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]], revealing that Chris has taken one step above macing employees and is ''threatening to glitterbomb'' Sega's American headquarters. Initially thought to be work done by weens, forum member Marvin eventually stood up and confirmed this actually as Chris's doing. The letter reads:

{{quotebox|SEGA of America Inc. 350 Rhode Island St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94103
'''For Every Week Sonic the Hedgehog's arms remain blue in the "Sonic Boom" Video Games AND TV Cartoon Show, and that you all at SEGA continue to NOT Public Announce your apology for the change as well as RECALLING Everything of this Sonic Boom to change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately on Television, Newsprint and Internet Posts and Videos, you all will receive a sparkling mess. And to stop this glittery combination from coming in, you WILL Change Sonic the Hedgehogs Arm Colour back immediately in EVERYTHING Sonic Boom, including PULLING the cartoon from Cartoon Network to change the arm colour back in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the show.'''

'''Thank you.'''}}

The document reveals that Chris refuses to stop committing acts of battery unless a multimedia company gives in to a 30-year-old manchild's threats. It also shows his complete lack of knowing what glitterbombing actually ''is''. To glitterbomb someone is to dump or throw glitter on your opponent in public (such as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7uZ4q-7y2M when some guy with a box of Cheez-Its came up to Newt Gingrich and dumped glitter on him]), ''not'' sending envelopes with glitter inside. To send envelopes with glitter inside is simply known as "[http://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/ shipping enemies glitter]".

===Weighing In on the Protests===
{{quotebox|2 Febuary 2015
Hey [REDACTED],
I saw that video and absolutely agree 100% that Chris was unjustified in his actions. I would have supported the employee whipping his ass to be honest. I think Chris needs to go to jail, he has never been held accountable for his actions. Destruction of property, assault, etc are serious stuff. He needs counseling and professional services that I think without incarceration he will never receive.
I'm glad that the Cwiki is no longer what it was in its incarnation, he was using it as an excuse for his behavior, and now can't use it as a fallback on to his issues.
I really have little defense for Christian for what hes been doing, but I hope he can come out a better person.
}}

===Chris's Ego Butts In!===
After hearing about Sega downsizing to focus on PC and Mobile games, Chris [[Chris and reality|thought]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he had a hand in it through his boycott]]:
{{quotebox|2 February 2015
Regardless of SEGA downsizing, Which I feel our boycotting has brought into play, we Have made SEGA take notice of their Mistake in changing Sonic's Arm Color among this term of events. And THEY still CAN create and distribute Downloadable Update Data for BOTH Sonic Boom Games to change his Arm Color Back at the very least.}}

===Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice===
After the sequel to the first ''Sonic Boom'' game was announced, Chris immediately showed his disapproval on Facebook. He even threatened [[Best Buy]] to not sell the game unless they change Sonic's arm color back, and still firmly believes that Sega was the one who got him thrown briefly into prison. He then claimed that he will beat up Sega producers [[Omar Woodley]] and Stephen Froat because of the blue arms.

{{quotebox|9 [[June 2015]]
Hell no!!! Still with the blue arms?!!! Ugh! SEGA, Does my Protest and Jail Time And Court Trouble Result NOT Resonate with you at all? Don't Y'all EVER FREAKING LISTEN AND LEARN?!!!!}}

[[File:Omar woodley threat.jpeg|300px|thumb|right|His post before he edited in Stephen Froat.]]
{{quotebox|[[File:SonicBoomFireAndIce.jpg|thumb|225px|right|The picture he included with this post.]]9 June 2015
Bring to me, in person, the ones called Omar Woodley and Stephen Frost, So I can tell to their faces of my Plights and Troubles I Went and Had to Go Through, Because of the Sensory Overloading Horrific Arm Colour Change that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED. And then, let me Kick and Beat Them Up upon further refusal to change the arm Colour back to tan in Everything Sonic Boom!

Damn and F*** Olmar Woodley and Stephen Frost!!!}}

On the same day, Chris proceeded to post this:

{{quotebox|[[File:SonicNoArms (pic only).jpg|thumb|right|This waste of [[money]] resulted in Chris's [[white knights]] refusing to help him.]]
9 June 2015
I protested peacefully and bold; I get banned from the local Four GameStops, and rebanned from Fashion SquareI ended up in jail for a weekend, along with court troubles; someone got a mild amount of pepper spray.

Time healed me some and I was recovering and doing better. Now, ANOTHER BLUE ARMED GAME IS BEING MADE?!!!

‪#‎SEGA‬ has ruined a peaceful, pleasant life for me again. It is Payback Time!

‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎FixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA‬}}

===Give Me 10 Good Reasons, I Need to Know===
{{quotebox|12 June 2015
If SEGA can give me Ten valid Reasons (with at lease One Good Reason) to justify the arm colour change (no less), NOT counting to "Modernize" Sonic or to make Sonic "appealing to the younger generations", I may reconsider.}}

==References==
<references/>

{{facebook}}

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

2012

2015-06-19T02:36:25Z

CKO67: /* August */

[[File:TomgirlMNR.png|thumb|Chris at thirty. ([[ModNation Racers|self-portrait]])]]
'''2012''' was the fourth year of organized [[trolling]] of the [[Internet]]'s favorite autistic manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Chris turned 30 years old this year.

This year did not see much activity online aside from his occasional [[Facebook|Facebook posts]], possibly due to [[Bob]]'s death and [[stress]] from Chris's run-in with the law. Chris was [[This is how the Trial went|actually punished]] [[28 October 2011|for something he did]], and must now see a licensed psychiatrist. He must also perform community service, the first time he has worked in over a decade.<ref>[[Wendy's]]</ref>

If either of them had violated their [[28 October 2011|probation]], Chris and/or Barb would have spent some of this year in prison. So far, so good.

Despite a dry spell of activity compared to [[2009|years]] [[2010|gone]] [[2011|by]], 2012 is still notable, aside from what was said above, for being the year that Chris allegedly lost his much-hated [[Virgin with Rage|virginity]]. It's also the first year since trolling began where he hasn't personally uploaded a [[YouTube]] video, with any released being [[Jackie|leaks]].

==January==
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|Chris in January 2012.]]

{{main|January 2012}}

January was a slow month but there were a few notable events:
*Both Chris and Barb had [[28 October 2011|another hearing]] which led to yet another continuance.
*Chris re-opened his [[Facebook]] account.

==February==
{{main|February 2012}}
[[Image:Christran1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in February, looking more like his mother every passing day.]]
*[[Alex's Lemonade Stand|Cwcville helps]]!
*Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns thirty]], to celebrate, [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: [[The Red-Maned Deer]], [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[You're Always Pretty]] (A wild [[Snorlax]] appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].

==March ==
[[File:Chris cart.png|thumb|right|Chris in March, with his [[Sonichu|original character.]]]]
{{main|March 2012}}
Little occurred except a single [[Facebook]] public note, a few forum posts and another banhammer from the [[Fashion Square Mall]].

==April==
{{main|April 2012}}

Chris and Barb faced [[28 October 2011|another hearing]]. On April 12, Chris posted a Facebook message in which he claimed he lost [[Virgin with rage|his virginity]].

==May==
{{main|May 2012}}
[[File:Chris FB Profile PIc (May 8th,2012).png|thumb|Chris in May 2012.]]

Chris continues to [[Chris and his ego|gloat]] over his supposed victories over the trolls. On May 1st, he posts a Facebook message saying the woman he supposedly lost his virginity to can be found "somewhere on the backpage", implying she was a prostitute. Also, another drawing of Chris and [[Jackie]] having sex is leaked, as is one of [[The Wallflower]]. Five [[November 2010]] and three [[March 2012]] pictures of Chris are also released.

==June==
{{main|June 2012}}
[[File:ChrisLemonadeStand.jpg|thumb|left|In June 2012, [[CWCville]] helped.]]
Chris opened a charity [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]] in honour of [[Bob|his father]]. He also [[Twitter|tweeted]] and [[Facebook]]ed a lot.

==July==
[[File:Court-screenshot.png|thumb|Where the Chandlers faced justice in July 2012.]]
{{main|July 2012}}

On the 10th, Chris and Barb were [[Wikipedia:Arraignment|arraigned]] for their felony charges.

==August==
{{main|August 2012}}

On the 1st, it was revealed that Chris got [[Clover and Snoopy|two new dogs]], and entered them into a contest. He didn't win(big surprise), and it's left to be seen if he'll throw a [[Adam Stackhouse|tantrum over it.]]

==September==
{{main|September 2012}}

[[File:Tumbleweed.gif]]

==October==
[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|Chris in October 2012.]]
{{main|October 2012}}

Chris's [[Facebook]] status and pictures are leaked on the Internet. Chris also posts an apology as a public status on Facebook asking that [[Chris and remorse|online groups and hatreds of him be disbanded.]]

==November==
[[File:11 10 12 facebook pic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris in November 2012.]]
{{main|November 2012}}

Chris released a photo of his [[Lego]] self on [[Facebook]]. He also released a new photo of his real self.

==December==
{{main|December 2012}}

Chris uploaded a soundtrack featuring his [[Bob|dad]] as a performer as a small tribute to him. Also, at the stroke of midnight on the 31st of this month, 2012 officially became the year since trolling began where Chris has not personally uploaded a video.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

User:CKO67

2015-05-25T01:21:57Z

CKO67:

I first learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards around 2009, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe he ranks only slightly behind Adolf Hitler, Kim Jong Il, and Ivan The Terrible on the roster of history's worst villains. True, he hasn't actually killed anybody yet, but I won't be the least bit surprised if one of these days I turn on ''Dateline'' and see Keith Morrison doing a profile of CWC having either beaten a black kid senseless, bludgeoned his mother to death, or hacked one of his former "galpals" to smithereens with an axe(the tool, not the body spray) and stuffed her remains in a trash can.

User:CKO67

2015-05-23T17:02:20Z

CKO67:

I first learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards around 2010, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe he ranks only slightly behind Adolf Hitler, Kim Jong Il, and Ivan The Terrible on the roster of history's worst villains. True, he hasn't actually killed anybody yet, but I won't be the least bit surprised if one of these days I turn on ''Dateline'' and see Keith Morrison doing a profile of CWC having either beaten a black kid senseless, bludgeoned his mother to death, or hacked one of his former "galpals" to smithereens with an axe(the tool, not the body spray) and stuffed her remains in a trash can.

Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

2015-05-22T22:53:03Z

CKO67: /* Incidents */

{{quote|"Wesley Mem"* is a church for all of [[Autism|God’s children]], regardless of [[Attraction Sign|age]], [[Niggos|race]], [[Silvana|gender]], [[Monthly tugboat|socio-economic situation]], or [[Homos|sexual orientation]].|WMUMC's slogan}}

[[Image:WesleyChurchPhoto.jpg|thumb|right|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church, Charlottesville.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] started attending the '''[[Wikipedia:John Wesley|Wesley]] Memorial [[Wikipedia:United Methodist Church|United Methodist Church]]''', [[Charlottesville]] in [[March 2008]] after getting kicked out of his old church, the [[Grace Baptist Church]]. He was baptised at WMUMC on Mother's Day of 2008.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Regina tries to make sense of all that]]</ref>

WFMC is closely associated with the [[University of Virginia]]. Ironically, given his intense homophobia, Chris attends a [[homos|homo]]-accepting church because it is the only one that won't kick him out. Having been besieged with [[nudes]] of Chris, they now have this disclaimer on their homepage: "We are not responsible for any content or links that may appear on the personal web pages of any member of this congregation."

[[Bob Chandler|Bob]] attended with Chris, with [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] usually staying home.<ref>[[Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears]]</ref>

== People ==

[[Image:Wesley Church.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Wesley Foundation Methodist Church's logo.]]

* Reverend Ed Winkler, current pastor
* Reverend Elizabeth Foss, former pastor
* Marty Peterman, who told Chris to not send anything over the internet he wouldn't want his grandmother to see<ref name="sept08">[[Chris emails 2008#September]]</ref>
* Reverend [[Rocky Shoemaker]], pastoral counselor; Elizabeth introduced Rocky to Chris in [[September 2008]] because she knows Chris doesn't listen to [[JERKS|men]]<ref name="sept08" />

Since Elizabeth and Rocky are authority figures Chris respects, he lists them as references on his [[resume]] and continually seeks help from them against trolls.<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#September]], [[Jackie E-mails 5#Chris's brilliant ideas]], [[Jackie E-mails 7]] (August 4), [[Jackie E-mails 8]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] (November 16)</ref>

== Events ==

On 15 [[March 2009]], [[Robert Simmons V]] [[Church audio|visited]] this church and talked to Chris and Bob.

On 9 [[August 2010]], Chris told [[Jackie]] that "[Bob] is not currently in alliance with Elizabeth [WMUMC's pastor at the time] and [[Rocky]] over some emotional differences from his point of view".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8]]</ref> Chris's odd choice of words make it hard to understand what exactly did he mean, but it would appear as if Bob has had some sort of spat with Rocky and Elizabeth.

On [[July 2011]] Ed Winkler became a pastor at the church.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref> He would later on ban Chris from the church for an entire month, and would also forbid Chris from speaking there. Winkler's treatment of Chris was one of the factors that led the latter to withdraw from the church for an unknown period of time.<ref>[[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]</ref>

On 12 [[September 2011]], [[Bob]]'s funeral took place at the church.

On 22 [[April 2012]], Chris visited the church and wrote about it on Twitter the next day. According to his report, he was generally ignored by his fellow parishioners and was not feeling loved by them. He likewise complained about Ed Winkler. Chris also wrote that "I knew I was gone for too long, but my internal clock kept me awake at night... and prohibited me from being a day person."<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#April 23]]</ref> This suggests that prior to this visit Chris was absent from the church for a considerable period of time due to his irregular [[Biological clock|sleep schedule]].

On 10 [[June 2012]], Chris ran a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]] for a cancer charity.

On 3 [[January 2014]], Chris gave the church a glowing yet passive-aggressive review on [[Facebook]]. Perhaps coincidentally (and perhaps [[Obesity|not]]), 3 January was the date of a pizza-making party for middle and high-school students.

{{-}}

=== Incidents ===

On 30 March 2013, a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|note]] had made its way to the [[CWCki Forums]] shedding light on Chris' current status within Wesley Methodist:

{{quotebox|**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Homos|reasons]] [[Niggos|beyond]] [[Death threats|my]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|full]] [[Vivian_Gee#Extortion_by_Chris|understanding]], because I always tried to be a good and nice person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my [[Barb|family]] the best I can, and I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an [[Autism|autistic]] mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. And [[God]] sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler}}

In yet another effort to blame anyone or anything but himself for his woes, Chris has now resorted to slamming [[GodJesus]] Himself for playing [[Kick the Autistic]]. The letter also reveals that Chris has earned himself a [[List of places that have banned Chris|temporary ban]] from the church, probably because the minister has tired of hearing Chris ramble about [[Trolls|da trolls]] during the homily. In a rare moment of insight, Chris also notes that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] has been ineffective as a counselor.

It should also be noted that Chris had asked Rocky to distribute copies of this exact letter to the congregation, effectively demanding she distribute not only "proof" of her own counseling inadequacy but also a letter insulting God to an entire Methodist congregation.

== In the comics ==

The ''Sonichu'' comics feature a church called Samuel Memorial United Christian Church, located outside of [[CWCville]].<ref name="ang cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu Angelica Rosechu]</ref> The name of the fictional Church is most likely based on the name of Chris's real church. Samuel Memorial is perhaps best known as the place where [[Angelica]] hatched, grew and lives, and despite its name, appears to be a Catholic church.<ref name="ang cwcipedia" /> It also appears to be her favorite place for [[Mass debating]], and not about theology if that's what you're thinking.<ref>See the fourth drawing in Chris's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack# Images from the Luv Shack (or: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here)|Rule 34 gallery]].</ref> She was also yiffed there by [[Reginald Sneasel]].<ref>[[Sonichu 9]],[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_32 p. 32]</ref>

After the [[Chaotic Combo]] met each other and [[Sonichu]], Angelica took them all (and Rosechu as well) to Samuel Memorial, where from there on they would attend service every Sunday. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] would later on marry there.<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref> Church staff includes/have included the Reverend Grace Rosewell and pastor Fritz Richmond.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /><ref name="ang cwcipedia" />

Interestingly, the church where Chris's imaginary wedding to [[Ivy]] took place is not Samuel Memorial United Christian Church, but CWCville Baptist Church.<ref>[[Wedding Comic]], [[:Image:SchuComicSP2P1.jpg|p. 2]]</ref> This fictional church is likely to be named after Chris's [[Grace Baptist Church|previous IRL church]].

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Rocky Shoemaker]]
*[[List of places that have banned Chris]]

==External links==
*[http://avenue.org/wmumc/ Church website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

Son-Chu

2011-09-23T16:34:29Z

CKO67:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle to be used in a plan to [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|commit]] [[Sonichu Special 4|aggravated]] [[June062010.MOV|assault]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]]. Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] things to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a three-ton mobile weapon).]]
Since Chris jerks off to ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my [[Fail|Cool]] [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other ''Transformers'' rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high-functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]], lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's [[Autism|high-functioning life]], he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the U.N.) and "IB MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and [[Sonichu]], and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably gets his [[Britney Spears]] CDs from.
* An [[America]]n Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker. Since this is a first time we've seen Son-Chu in quite a while, it's so far impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerk|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris [[6 June 2010|loudly denied]]. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]
Given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's performance was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; this is likely caused by bent [[Wikipedia:Universal joint|U-joints]] (meaning Chris/Barbara probably hit a curb at some point) connecting the [[Wikipedia:Drive shaft|drive shaft]] to [[Wikipedia:Internal combustion engine|the engine]] and [[Wikipedia:Transmission (mechanics)|transmission]], and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|worthless shit]], a U-joint replacement would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Template:Sign

2011-03-26T23:37:26Z

CKO67: /* How to Sign Posts */

==How to Sign Posts==

'''It's 4 tildes (<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>)'''.

Depending on where you are, the tilde key is most likely either in the top left of the keyboard (American) or just to the left of the Enter button (British, Australian).

'''For Macfags and Other Retards:''' If you're on a Mac or can't find the tilde key, press the Signature button above the edit box ([[File:Button_sig.png]]). It signs it for you.

''Example: If you forget to sign your posts, everyone will think you're a retard. <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>''
{{clear}}
<noinclude>{{Usage|This is a template to tell newfags how to sign their posts. I have to explain it at least three times a month, and I'm not typing all that shit again. Ideally, it should go on the offender's talk page rather than in the middle of the discussion. It looks ugly right now, but I don't know how to fix it.}}</noinclude>

Template:Sign

2011-03-26T23:36:49Z

CKO67:

Template:Sign

2011-03-26T23:35:49Z

CKO67: /* How to Sign Posts */

User:Clydec/Appeal

2011-03-26T13:20:00Z

CKO67: /* Inquiry... */

Hi, this is Clyde Cash, writing Champthom's appeal because he is too busy solving mysteries and destroying America.

You should donate money. If you don't, I will destroy you. Click the tugboat in the bottom left.

-- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:51, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

Sure, just wait a minute, little dirty jews. [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:22, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*okay thanks, although i think we might now be stable. if the cwcki goes down again. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 09:24, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*and how much does the hosting cost, anyways? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:27, 4 November 2010 (PDT)
:*Including or excluding the hookers and blow that we totally don't buy with donation money? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:10, 20 November 2010 (PST)

==lolno==

[[File:NTWRL01-1-.gif]]

--[[User:ChuChuBean|ChuChuBean]] 19:29, 3 November 2010 (PDT)
:No, ChuChuBean, munch on my taint. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 19:38, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

==Inquiry...==

Sorry if I'm stepping over the line, but what's the deal with Offshore CWCki? I've been trying for weeks to access the message board so I can change my password there, but all I'm getting is a 404 message saying "Page Not Found". Has Offshore CWCki been permanently shut down or is it just a technical glitch?
-- [[User:CKO67|CKO67]] 3:52 PM March 25th, 2011 (US Eastern)
: Clyde deleted it literally months ago. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:58, 25 March 2011 (PDT)

: I see...sorry to hear that. Thanks for clearing things up. [[User:CKO67|CKO67]] 9:16 AM March 26th, 2011 (US Eastern)

User:Clydec/Appeal

2011-03-26T13:18:34Z

CKO67: /* Inquiry... */

User:Clydec/Appeal

2011-03-25T19:57:31Z

CKO67: /* Inquiry... */

User:Clydec/Appeal

2011-03-25T19:56:40Z

CKO67:

Hi, this is Clyde Cash, writing Champthom's appeal because he is too busy solving mysteries and destroying America.

You should donate money. If you don't, I will destroy you. Click the tugboat in the bottom left.

-- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:51, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

Sure, just wait a minute, little dirty jews. [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:22, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*okay thanks, although i think we might now be stable. if the cwcki goes down again. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 09:24, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*and how much does the hosting cost, anyways? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:27, 4 November 2010 (PDT)
:*Including or excluding the hookers and blow that we totally don't buy with donation money? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:10, 20 November 2010 (PST)

==lolno==

[[File:NTWRL01-1-.gif]]

--[[User:ChuChuBean|ChuChuBean]] 19:29, 3 November 2010 (PDT)
:No, ChuChuBean, munch on my taint. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 19:38, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

==Inquiry...==

-- [[User:CKO67|CKO67]] 3:52 PM March 25th, 2011 (US Eastern)

Sorry if I'm stepping over the line, but what's the deal with Offshore CWCki? I've been trying for weeks to access the message board so I can change my password there, but all I'm getting is a 404 message saying "Page Not Found". Has Offshore CWCki been permanently shut down or is it just a technical glitch?

Chris and video games

2011-01-21T21:18:51Z

CKO67:

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fidi0WgSCo8}}
</center>

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but as you can see here it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris may well spend more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Internet]] and have [[sex]] with him. He [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He had a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System and a Game Boy before he was eight years old and acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spiderman]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. (He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the Gamefly mail-order rental service until August 2010.

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more egregious examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights.

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Sewer Shark'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile [[Hex Box]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

There is one Xbox 360 game he seems to be very interested in. [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], which is seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3. Out of all the Xbox 360 games, he picks some crappy dating sim no one in their right mind would be interested in. This, of course, is entirely predictable of Chris.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger's syndrome]].

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"). He could easily check and see that this is not true, but possibly he hasn't tried putting his LBP copy into his Wii yet because the [[Jerkops|cops]] would stop him.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, holographs of the kind we can only see in science fiction right now.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:12754305083.jpg
Image:127539439799.jpg
Image:Chrisfinalbattle.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Video Games]]

2010

2011-01-21T21:13:05Z

CKO67: /* October */

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in [[2010]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of organized trolling of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Fed up with his trolls, Chris spent several months offline, attempting to hide from his infamous reputation. As such, the year was punctuated by dry spells. And yet, Chris still found new ways to embarrass himself.

==January==
{{main|January 2010}}
[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|left|On 17 January, Chris expresses his opinion on ''[[Asperchu/Background|Asperchu]]''.]]

Smug with overconfidence thanks to his [[Mailbag|fanmail]] and the victory over [[gay]] ads, Chris charged into January, not even allowing the shut down of the [[CWCipedia]] via [[copyright]] claims stop him. However, Chris would soon find a new [[stress]] factor in the emerging fan comic ''[[Asperchu]]'', going to great lengths to pull his fans away from it via various crazy [[YouTube]] videos; every attempt failed miserably. As he did, Chris continued to update [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], revealing more of his madness. Unbeknown to trolls, he was actually beginning to get close to [[The Wallflower|another girl]] and he would attempt to hide this, but his own [[ego]] would refuse to let him do so.

==February==
{{main|February 2010}}
[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|On '''25 February''', Chris murders [[Evan]] and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] Four in brutal and disgusting ways.]]

As January became February, Chris found himself embroiled in a series of phone calls from ''[[Asperchu]]'' creator Alec Benson Leary, where Alec demanded that Chris promise to be more tolerant of ''Asperchu'' and to get rid of [[Simonla Rosechu]], with [[Mao]] holding the [[CWCipedia]] hostage. Though Chris gradually recovered enough from the stress to complete ''Sonichu'' #10, which showed the death of Simonla, Chris then had [[Alec]], [[Mao]] and two other people killed within the same comic as an act of childish retaliation. Chris recovered just in time for his birthday, producing a shameless display of self-praising by declaring the first annual [[Christian Love Day]]. Perhaps the biggest mystery revealed this month was the sudden appearance of [[Magical Man Potion|another human male]] entering Chris's [[room]], one of the more puzzling developments to come out of Chris for some time.

==March==
{{main|March 2010}}
[[File:Owllevel.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 March''', Chris uploads a new ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' level that would inadvertendly reveal the identity of [[The Wallflower]].]]

As March began, trolls showed concern over news that Chris's father, [[Bob]], had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Sadly, Chris showed no concern whatsoever, angering his [[fanbase]]. A few days later, Chris would, through his massive [[ego|narcissism]], reveal a name of his potential new [[sweetheart]] through a custom ''[[Little Big Planet|LBP]]'' level. Dedicated trolls would discover [[The Wallflower|her identity]], and one faggot would cause the [[gal-pal]] to cut ties with Chris and Chris himself discovering the [[CWCki]]. At that point, Chris began an all-out war against the [[Internet]], attacking his [[fans]] for wanting more ''Sonichu'' pages, attacking the CWCki, and especially attacking [[Surfshack Tito]], the troll who took credit for destroying the [[lulz]]. However, [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside source]] would intervene, forcing Chris to once again announce he was leaving the Internet forever. (36 hours after making this bold and bombastic claim, Chris returned with a new video to complain about [[TV]] and [[sex]].)

==April==
{{main|April 2010}}
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]

As April started, Chris's activity on the Internet was sporadic. However, trolls soon discovered an ad on [[The Hook Cafe]], discovering that Chris was back to his [[Love Quest]] on the Internet. During this time, Chris would meet and begin talking to a woman named [[Jackie]], who would become Chris's focus throughout the month. Having learned something from the previous incidents, Chris kept a low profile on her, which however did not prevent some highly-disturbing material to eventually leak to general public. During this time, he attempted to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]] in an attempt to lift his ban; the trolls hailed [[Michael Snyder]] as a hero when he kicked the anti-Semitic manchild out again. Chris would also work on CWCipedia a bit more, creating profiles for his characters and a page about all of his past sweethearts.

==May==
{{main|May 2010}}
[[File:MODNATION_2.JPG|thumb|left|On '''May 26''', Chris begs for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' bonuses.]]

As May started, it seemed that things were going to be slow again, with a relative high point of smug Chris boasting that he had removed a "bug" allegedly planted by trolls in the [[PS3|life upgrade]]. However, he soon became severely depressed and blamed his problems of rejection by everyone on a conspiracy conceived against him by the [[Greene County]] School Board. By the end of the month, Mao opened up the [[CWCipedia]] to everyone. Chris attempted to revert their vandalism, but soon gave into stress and abandoned the website. Two series of [[e-mails]] are also leaked.

==June==
{{main|June 2010}}
[[File:GrayScaleChris.jpg|thumb|On '''30 June''', Chris looks for [[love]] on [[Flipnote Hatena]].]]

After Chris's fourth threat to leave the Internet, many fully expected that he would not keep to his word. The silence was however broken after Chris traveled to The GAMe PLACe with an autistic plan of revenge against Michael Snyder; long story short, Chris almost committed [[Son-Chu|vehicular]] homicide while [[Alcohol|drunk]] and was let off scot-free by the [[police]]. He then made a video addressing these events, and announced that he would be leaving the Internet. ([[Chris and hypocrisy|Again]]. [[Youtube Finale|For]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|the]] [[100 2188|fifth]] [[100 2189|time]].) Things fell silent for nearly two weeks, until a field agent spotted Chris at the [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]], continuing his [[Love Quest]] offline by acting [[pedofork|really creepy]] in public. Soon, trolls also discovered where Chris had disappeared to online: the [[Flipnote Hatena]], a website created by [[Nintendo]] for users to share their amateur animations.

==July==
{{main|July 2010}}
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|left|On '''9 July''', Chris continues stalking girls at [[Fridays After Five]].]]

July 2010 was another very quiet month. It began with Chris getting [[List_of places that have banned Chris|permabanned]] from [[Flipnote Hatena]] for constantly breaking the site's rules. For a time after that he emerged from the internets to enjoy the fruits of real life... by reverting back to the ancient ways of the [[attraction sign]]. He was spotted once at [[McIntire Park]] and twice at [[Fridays After Five]]. However, on 17 July he returned to [[Twitter]], telling [[trolls|his loyal fans]] that he's [[lie|working on the comic pages]]. On 24 July he also evaded his Flipnote Hatena ban and re-posted some of his removed flipnotes, suggesting that he bought another DSi just to use a children's website as his personal dating service.

==August==

{{main|August 2010}}

[[File:PostCar.JPG|thumb|On '''29 August''', the [[life upgrade]] goes GAME OVER, man.]]

During the first half of August, Chris didn't give off any signs of life except for a brief sighting at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], kicking a stall of [[HEXBox]] games. It was suspected he spent his time playing [[video games]]. However, a phone call to Bob Chandler was released, relieving some new info. He would then return on August 27 to post two videos, one concerning his upcoming high school reunion, and the other where Chris concedes to the trolls after reformatting his PS3, claiming [[fail|he did himself in]]. Two days later, Chris would destroy his PS3, and there was much rejoicing.

==September==

{{main|September 2010}}

[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|On '''16 September''', Chris dressed as a [[niggo]].]]

Early in September, e-mail correspondence was leaked that provided some background on the destruction of the [[Ps3|life upgrade]]. Quite predictably, Chris purchased another PS3 almost immediately. [[Jackie]] officially returned as a new [[sweetheart]] in Chris's life, with him trying to impress through new videos on YouTube, including attacks at Jackie's ex-boyfriend, Lars. Also this month, a bunch of ancient documents dating back from 2008 and 2009 were released to the public by [[Clyde Cash]], followed by some more from early 2010, including [[Wallflower_E-mails|correspondence between Chris and The Wallflower]]. Towards the end of the month, Chris officially kicked off his "anti-troll movement".

==October==

{{main|October 2010}}

[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|On '''4 October''', Chris [[cosplay]]s as [[McDonalds|the Grimace.]]]]

October began with Chris acting just as crazy as in September, if not crazier. He made another half-assed apology to Michael Snyder and then proceeded to start dressing up in a large variety of [[cosplay|costumes]] made out of construction paper, which dominated the first half of the month. He also made two scary and confusing videos in which he gave birth to a baby [[bear]], used his manboobs for a breast cancer awareness ad, and more. Some of the videos were actually shot outside of the [[room]] or even the [[house]] altogether, featuring Chris driving his mom's car and even going for a "hike". The conflict with Lars also continued, however on seemingly low-level. October 2010 is notable of sheer number of [[videos]] that were released by Chris, including more than a dozen a day twice, making it by far the most active month so far (albeit quality of them varied a lot). In the meantime, Clyde kept releasing even more previously unseen historical documents.

==November==
{{main|November 2010}}

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|left|On '''6 November''', a video of Chris struggling to do pull-ups was leaked.]]

November turned out to be a slow month. Chris had a call with Lars and a video of him failing to do pull-ups was leaked the same day. Chris would then go quiet for two weeks, until he quit the Internet for the 6th time on 22 November and deleting most of his other [[YouTube]] videos in the progress.

==December==
{{main|December 2010}}

December began under the shadow of Chris's sixth attempt to leave the Internet in favor of playing [[vidya]] all the time. The final batch of e-mails between Chris and Jackie were released. As usual, Chris did not get [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend| a girlfriend for Christmas]], for the sixth time since [[2004]]. {{clear}}

==Video summary==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Chris Chan 2010 Year in Review
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ugFEQ9gYmq0}}
| stardate = 28 [[December 2010]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/MiHiVidz MiHiVidz]
| subject = [[Chris]]
| type = Compilation
}}

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2011-01-21T21:06:35Z

CKO67: /* Chris's history and personality */

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokémon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three questions:
:# what Chris was like at The GAMe PLACe, and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# if he could tell us anything about Megan
:# if he tried to play his homemade cards.

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|...Anywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in her place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|
1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the level up king!" Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at yugi-oh. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. He would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a gay male who was friends with Megan at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than Lucas and Mike.}}

{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on /v/ I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}

===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a virgin also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to the Game Place? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, ban took place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}

{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at the Game Place because of the way he acts?}}

{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. Mike and I have talked about the [[reality]] that his parents have helped him fabricate. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}

{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}

{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No}}

{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}

===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|Wendy's]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a close weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[Sailor Moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames ED for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}

{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving trolls amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}

{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}

{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}

{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}

{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}

{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.

He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

User:CKO67

2011-01-21T21:05:25Z

CKO67:

I first learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards about a year ago, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe he ranks only slightly behind Adolf Hitler and Ivan The Terrible on the roster of history's worst villains. True, he hasn't actually killed anybody yet, but I won't be the least bit surprised if one of these days I turn on ''America's Most Wanted'' and see John Walsh doing a profile of CWC having either beaten a black kid senseless, bludgeoned his parents to death with his PS3, or hacked one of his former "galpals" to smithereens with an axe(the tool, not the body spray) and stuffed her remains in a trash can.

100 2281

2011-01-21T21:02:23Z

CKO67:

'''100 2281''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 15 [[October 2010]]. In it, he shows us how he acts drunk, guzzling down [[alcohol|Kahlúa]] with great abandon and dressing up and speaking like a [[niggo|"gangsta"]]. Oddly, he doesn't make any [[Death_threats|death threats]], which one would think would be a crucial part of any video with Chris playing a [[Chris_and_anger|tough guy character]].

Note that this video takes place in Chris's kitchen, and visible in the background is the Christmas Tree seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House]] in early 2009.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2281
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kVDVz4Zp9-U}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt =
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]
| next = [[Pregnant Act]]
}}

{{quote|I loves my woman, and I loves the pussy. }}

=== Transcript ===

[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a [[Adam Stackhouse|colorful bandanna]] wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a [[niggo]], and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']

Hey, yo, [[Lars]] m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the [[trolls]] been using. You calling me a god-dang [[homos|yomosettsual]], I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the [[china|pussy]].

[''He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.'']

And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [''He waves the bottle towards the camera.''] You [[Son-Chu|drivin']]! You jivin'!

I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[''brief pause'']...go put your boats over [[Jackie]] like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [''Gives two thumbs down.''] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, [[Patti-Chan|dawg]].

[''Chris pauses again.'']

You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!

[''He reaches up and turns off the camera.'']

===Translation===

Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this acacia coffee you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to acacia milk, well that's just false. You cared more about your boats than you cared about Jackie. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-15]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-15]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-15]]

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2010-12-23T16:51:03Z

CKO67: /* Chris's history and personality */

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokémon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three questions:
:# what Chris was like at The GAMe PLACe, and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# if he could tell us anything about Megan
:# if he tried to play his homemade cards.

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|...Anywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in her place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|
1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the level up king!" Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at yugi-oh. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. He would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a gay male who was friends with Megan at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than Lucas and Mike.}}

{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on /v/ I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}

===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a virgin also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to the Game Place? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, ban took place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}

{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at the Game Place because of the way he acts?}}

{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. Mike and I have talked about the [[reality]] that his parents have helped him fabricate. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}

{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}

{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No}}

{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}

===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a closet weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[Sailor Moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames ED for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}

{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving trolls amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}

{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}

{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}

{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}

{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}

{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.

He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

CWC Address to Unilever About AXE

2010-12-22T17:45:35Z

CKO67: /* Transcript of Part 1 */

'''CWC Address to Unilever About AXE''' is a two part video series (now archived as one video) made when [[Chris]] learned that [[Axe]], the line of men's hygiene products (also known as LYNX), is popular among [[homos|gay men]]. The second half was originally removed by YouTube due to a violation.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Address to Unilever About AXE
| image = {{#ev:youtube|uKQctHJ71hA}}
| stardate = 2 May 2009
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| subject = {{Homos|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| previous = [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
| next = [[MEOW]]
}}

===Transcript of Part 1===

Good day, I wish to, uh, make an announcement, uh, upon the side note, uh, aside from my usual work blagh would like to, uh, blagh make a claim, uh, make it obvious of to the creators of, uh, my favorite br- one of my favorite brand of, uh, body spray: AXE. [Presents AXE spray] Apparently it ha- it has come to my attention that, uh, bunch of, uh, people of the, uh, wrong orientation are, uh, using the, uh, AXE brand, ah, by which I mean particularly the, uh, homosexuals.

Eh eweh thusly a stereotype has been, uh, m- has been made if you, uh, if, has been made apparently, uh, has been made apparently '''‘you be gay if you wear AXE.’''' That’s so stupid it’s not I mean it’s not true I mean I’m straight and I have been using AXE for years. [Presents AXE again] I’m a proud sub- I’m a proud user of AXE ‘cos originally as it was originally intended for and I quote: [Reading label] “Effective deodorant protection designed to seduce the ladies” and then later, uh, when they expanded to, uh, the, uh, shower gel they continued with that in saying, uh, “ah kee—dr—kee—nahh let’s see. Hydrates your skin leavin’ it so pure that she’ll th—that ''she-ll'' think ''she’s'' the first one to touch it,” and then later again in, uh, shampoo it says here [Reading label] “Get girl approved hair. Wash, attract, repeat.”

Even though, uh, the comments, the, uh, comments, uh, sound, uh, sexist, uh, as I have learned, uh, on, uh, on their page on Wikipedia [gasp] I still feel that, uh, I have been at, uh, I still feel that, uh, is, uh, a big, uh, a big misuse and complete immoral act that the homosexuals take use of our of the AXE brand which is prefer- which is dimensionally and originally oriented towards the straight people. I mean men attract ladies. It means they’re straight. They want to attract the ladies they’re straight. Please, okay, that didn’t come out right but my point is anyway, uh, AXE is more straight is more meant for straight people: straight men who wish to attract the straight, nyell, the ladies.

The straight men who wish to attract the ladies and I have been the proud us—prow user of AXE throughout the many bre—throughout the many, uh, variations, ehmore to come and more out there to [stuttering] out there to market and I’m sure, other than the body spray, the ehshower gel and the shampoo. In any case, AXE was adridgionally meant for, and should remain, only for the straight men who wish to attract the women. It is not meant for a homosexual dude to attract another homosexual dude. Ahem. Ticks me off. It really does.

So I hope that, uh, the aff—that the, uh, Unilever the company that creates the AXE products, uh, sees this, uh, video on the YouTube and also, uh, would like also, uh, I would like t- to, uh, well I’d be say— I'd be, uh, I would be sound like, uh, some kind of bad person if I tell 'em to not sell to the homosexuals but I wa—but it should be more obvious from the package that it is meant for straight people. Y'know and also I would like to make the following statement to all homosexuals who dare use it. '''You homosexuals, stay off of our AXE!'''

Peace out.

===Transcript of Part 2===

I wish to, uh, take a moment right now to, uh, read a letter I have just hand-written for the, uh, Unilever company about the, uh, issue at hand with AXE. I read this out loud because I currently cannot find the snail mail address, but when I do I will mail it off directly. But I re—but I read it now for hope that they will at least be able to get the—get the understanding and the gist of my, uh, of my proposition and hopefully do something about it and will not blow me off because of an opinion.

Hmmm. Anyway, to the Unilever company who creates, uh, AXE body spray, shower gel, shampoo, and all of that.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I, Christian Weston Chandler, have been a loyal user of AXE body spray for years now, and I have been enjoying the scent as I look forward to it making me smell better to attract (and keep one of) women to be my sweetheart. I have been sussessful with being enjoyed by my sweetheart—[''looks up to camera''] my sweetest [[Ivy]]. [''continues'']—who enjoys my pleasant presence and company with her.

I write the letter today, with concern of hearing that the '''ho-mo-sess-u-al pop-u-la-tion''' wear the AXE body spray as often as or greater than the straight people. Like myself. For the longest time, AXE has been advertised and meant for STRAIGHT men to attract WOMEN. It was certainly NOT meant to attract... '''other dudes'''.

I would like—I would ask to ban sale of—and use of the product from the homos, ''but that would be [[autism|retarded]]''. Instead I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN" or something strongly similar. Please make this so, and please do not try to blow me off for having an opinion about the product. Or having an opinion about the homosexuals. Because I do not care much about them.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
Proud Straight Male AXE User

Peace.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC the Volcano Does Not Approve of Homosexuals Using AXE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3RxTycDxwqY}}
| Stardate = 09 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| Subject =
| Video Type = YouTube Poop
| Other Info =
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]|nextlink=[[MEOW]]|}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, May 2009| 2009-05-01]]
[[Category: Videos about homos| 2009-05-01]]

User:CKO67

2010-11-26T16:35:24Z

CKO67:

First learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards about a year ago, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe he ranks only slightly behind Adolf Hitler on the roster of history's worst villains. True, he hasn't actually killed anybody yet, but I won't be the least bit surprised if one of these days I turn on ''America's Most Wanted'' and see John Walsh doing a profile of CWC having either beaten a black kid senseless or hacked one of his former "galpals" to smithereens with an axe(the tool, not the body spray) and stuffed her remains in a trash can.

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2010-11-08T21:54:51Z

CKO67: /* Chris's history and personality */

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokémon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three questions:
:# what Chris was like at The GAMe PLACe, and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# if he could tell us anything about Megan
:# if he tried to play his homemade cards.

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|... nywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in here place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|
1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling [[Fail|"I'm the level up king!"]] Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|
Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and [[rockband]] shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at yugi-oh. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. I would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a gay male who was friends with Megan at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than Lucas and Mike.}}

{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on /v/ I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}

===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a virgin also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to the Game Place? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, ban took place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}

{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at the Game Place because of the way he acts?}}

{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. Mike and I have talked about the [[reality]] that his parents have helped him fabricate. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}

{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}

{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No}}

{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}

===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a close weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}

{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[sailor moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames ED for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}

{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving trolls amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}

{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}

{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}

{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}

{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}

{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.

He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Chris and sex

2010-11-06T15:05:09Z

CKO67: /* Chris and gender */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (a.k.a. "hanky-panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl, as he admitted in a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart.

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high-school sex education, plus pornography. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, though he sticks by them religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies sound exactly like attempts to re-create what he's seen in porno movies, as opposed to any experience human beings might actually find pleasurable. Take for instance his assumption that [[Kacey]] would get off on a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face. Additionally, Chris seems to believe that while having sex, his partner's egg can [[Pregnant Act|go inside his dick and impregnate him]]. And that he'll give birth to [[Li'l Chris|a bear]].

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in ''Sonichu'' is a contradiction in terms (although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], Chris manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position — [[Chris and Sex#Chris in the act|with himself on top]]). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards women. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Marianas Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes […]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex and/or a girlfriend.
* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around eleven). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. \Sixteen was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
* Going with the above, in the "[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]", Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "[[hanky panky]]" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the Mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form (this would support the furry argument). Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref> It is unknown what qualities and traits he considers "sexy" for a dog.
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been some exceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]), but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He has also admitted to being aroused by said drawings.<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit. </ref> Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. It has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being an only child, he has no experience with filial relationships, and autism ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him over [[Mumble]]. He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves girl-on-girl. He can't empathize with the parties involved, and only sees it in terms of how disgusting ''for him'' it would be to watch.

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly.

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody. So stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the Megan saga all the way to PandaHalo.
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:2010

2010-11-04T23:35:17Z

CKO67: /* I noticed there's nothing written down yet about CWC's November 2010 misadventures... */

== So I don't forget... ==

Come January 2010, someone (or someone remind me) to move this to 2011 so 2010 can be, you know, for the actual stuff that will happen. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:22, 15 December 2009 (CET)

== Needs to be shortened, not just copy-pasted from the months' article summaries ==

I did this for [[2009]] already. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

Also more pics --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:58, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
:I'll take a crack at it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:03, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

::Rly. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:08, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Guess I'll condense it even further, eventually. (A paragraph into a single sentence, all month into a single paragraph.) --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:24, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Much better now. --EtonpilfAnetah 6 July 2010

I'm done. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 17:16, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== "second consecutive year of organized trolling" ==

Like there was no organized trolling in 2008 or something? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:19, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== I noticed there's nothing written down yet about CWC's November 2010 misadventures... ==

Is that because of the recent glitches with the site, or is CWC just being unusually discreet? --[[User:CKO67|CKO67]] 19:21, 4 November 2010 (US Eastern)

User:CKO67

2010-11-04T23:28:58Z

CKO67:

User:CKO67

2010-11-04T23:27:49Z

CKO67: Created page with "First learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards about a year ago, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe rank..."

First learned of the evil that is Chris-Chan through the Why God Why message boards about a year ago, and ever since then I've grown to hate him to the point where I believe ranks only slightly behind Adolf Hitler on the roster of history's worst villains.

Talk:2010

2010-11-04T23:24:02Z

CKO67:

== So I don't forget... ==

Come January 2010, someone (or someone remind me) to move this to 2011 so 2010 can be, you know, for the actual stuff that will happen. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:22, 15 December 2009 (CET)

== Needs to be shortened, not just copy-pasted from the months' article summaries ==

I did this for [[2009]] already. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

Also more pics --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:58, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
:I'll take a crack at it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:03, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

::Rly. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:08, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Guess I'll condense it even further, eventually. (A paragraph into a single sentence, all month into a single paragraph.) --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:24, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Much better now. --EtonpilfAnetah 6 July 2010

I'm done. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 17:16, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== "second consecutive year of organized trolling" ==

Like there was no organized trolling in 2008 or something? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 14:19, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== I noticed there's nothing written down yet about CWC's November 2010 misadventures... ==

Is that because of the recent glitches with the board, or is CWC just being unusually discreet? --[[User:CKO67|CKO67]] 19:21, 4 November 2010 (US Eastern)