CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:CWCHistorian

2010-12-16T10:27:36Z

CWCHistorian:

CWCHistorian likes documenting Chris. He also cleans up pages.

{{Armchair Psychologist}}
{{Observer}}
{{Agnostic}}
{{Americunt}}
{{White}}
{{PS3}}

Sign Destruction Video

2010-12-14T08:34:12Z

CWCHistorian: /* See also */

The "'''Sign Destruction Video'''", or "'''09062009'''", is a 6 [[September 2009]] video showing [[Chris]] violently tearing up the sign that [[trolls]] left on his front lawn on 31 [[2008#October|October 2008]]. He does this as a [[death threat]] against [[Vivian Gee]] and her family. It's obvious that Chris was rattled by the sign, as he kept it for ten months before destroying it.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sign Destruction Video
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ZWDyKBITEaA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 6 September 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Power|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShortSleeve|text}}
| previous = [[4 September 2009]]
| next = [[10 September 2009]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:EDSign.jpg|thumb|200px|The sign as it was originally found.]]

Hmm... Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards [[Vivian]] has gone unheard or otherwise ''[holds up [[Claw of Failure|claw]]]'' ''shy did not realize the fury of'' '''[[Chris and anger|MY WRATH]]''' ... and she has done [[Audiobooks|a terrible deed]]. So, let's begin with a ''[lowers his voice]'' ''visual aid''... [''Bends down''] Stop me if you have not seen '''THIS''' before! [''Chris picks up and displays a grass stain-covered sign reading "Encyclopedia Dramatica - ♥ [[Jimmy Hill]]''] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Unhhhg]]!

Nnyergh! Now watch what I will do with this as I will ''do'' to Vivian Gee if she does not sss- take down every last one of her videos ''and'' closes her YouTube account! [''Chris rips the sign apart, bangs the wooden stakes together before bending them. At one point he seems to try to snap the wood, but after a moment of effort thinks better of it. He then proceeds to stab the sign and the [[Clown Doll|clown doll]].'']

[''Picks up a clown doll''] ''This is for [[Clyde Cash]] to every last one of his [[Ryan Cash|family members]] '''INCLUDING''' his cousin Vivian!'' [''Beats the shit out of the doll, and then bites its hat off; then throws it away and continues to grunt and scream'']

[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|LOOK AT THOSE CAVITIES GOD DAMN]]
'''RRRAAAARRGGHH!!'''

[''Jump cut'']

[''Sudden close-up on his face: first the eyes and then the bared [[fangs]]; more groaning'']

{{RageQuote|GHRAAAAAAAARRRH!!!}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3ZqEQEbk-CM}}
| Stardate = 11 August 2010
| Maker = shadupp
| Subject =
| Video Type = Music video
| Other Info = Splash Woman's Theme from ''MegaMan 9''
}}

==See also==

* [[Vibrator destruction video]]
* [[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[4 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[10 September 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Duck

2010-12-14T08:09:59Z

CWCHistorian: /* Chris and his duck */

{{Honest}}

[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Even in the comic, it's bent. (Maybe he traced it.)]]

[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> that it is an intentional euphemism.

==Chris and his duck==
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]] and he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>. This appears highly unlikely, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See Also==
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Mass Debate]]
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:CWCHistorian

2010-12-14T08:05:29Z

CWCHistorian: Created page with "CWCHistorian likes documenting Chris. He also cleans up pages."

CWCHistorian likes documenting Chris. He also cleans up pages.

Sign Destruction Video

2010-12-14T07:46:15Z

CWCHistorian: /* See also */

The "'''Sign Destruction Video'''", or "'''09062009'''", is a 6 [[September 2009]] video showing [[Chris]] violently tearing up the sign that [[trolls]] left on his front lawn on 31 [[2008#October|October 2008]]. He does this as a [[death threat]] against [[Vivian Gee]] and her family. It's obvious that Chris was rattled by the sign, as he kept it for ten months before destroying it.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sign Destruction Video
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ZWDyKBITEaA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 6 September 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Power|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShortSleeve|text}}
| previous = [[4 September 2009]]
| next = [[10 September 2009]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[[Image:EDSign.jpg|thumb|200px|The sign as it was originally found.]]

Hmm... Apparently, my, uh, heed of warning towards [[Vivian]] has gone unheard or otherwise ''[holds up [[Claw of Failure|claw]]]'' ''shy did not realize the fury of'' '''[[Chris and anger|MY WRATH]]''' ... and she has done [[Audiobooks|a terrible deed]]. So, let's begin with a ''[lowers his voice]'' ''visual aid''... [''Bends down''] Stop me if you have not seen '''THIS''' before! [''Chris picks up and displays a grass stain-covered sign reading "Encyclopedia Dramatica - ♥ [[Jimmy Hill]]''] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Unhhhg]]!

Nnyergh! Now watch what I will do with this as I will ''do'' to Vivian Gee if she does not sss- take down every last one of her videos ''and'' closes her YouTube account! [''Chris rips the sign apart, bangs the wooden stakes together before bending them. At one point he seems to try to snap the wood, but after a moment of effort thinks better of it. He then proceeds to stab the sign and the [[Clown Doll|clown doll]].'']

[''Picks up a clown doll''] ''This is for [[Clyde Cash]] to every last one of his [[Ryan Cash|family members]] '''INCLUDING''' his cousin Vivian!'' [''Beats the shit out of the doll, and then bites its hat off; then throws it away and continues to grunt and scream'']

[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|LOOK AT THOSE CAVITIES GOD DAMN]]
'''RRRAAAARRGGHH!!'''

[''Jump cut'']

[''Sudden close-up on his face: first the eyes and then the bared [[fangs]]; more groaning'']

{{RageQuote|GHRAAAAAAAARRRH!!!}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3ZqEQEbk-CM}}
| Stardate = 11 August 2010
| Maker = shadupp
| Subject =
| Video Type = Music video
| Other Info = Splash Woman's Theme from ''MegaMan 9''
}}

==See also==

* [[Vibrator destruction video]]
* [[Death threats]]
* [[Chris and anger]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[4 September 2009]]|nextlink=[[10 September 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Claw of Fail

2010-12-14T07:43:06Z

CWCHistorian:

[[Image:Furyofmywrath.jpg|center]]

{{quote|SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH!|Chris, threatening [[Vivian Gee]] during his [[Sign Destruction Video]]}}

The '''Claw of Fail''' is a dramatic hand gesture used by Chris when he wants to emphasize whatever stupid point he's trying to make at the moment. Chris will hold his hand out, palm upturned, with his fingers outstretched and curled upwards, in the manner of a cartoonish villain.

Much in the way that Chris [[parody|steals]] jokes, ideas, and phrases he uses in everyday speech from movies, [[anime]], video games, and [[Ghostbusters|cartoons]], he also copies body language and hand gestures. Although normal humans may reference movies and such when it is funny, appropriate or ironic, Chris relies on these to teach him new words, phrases and ideas. In short, Chris is like a feral child, raised by television, who copies the mannerisms of his adoptive parent. When Chris stopped talking as a small child, his parents put him in front of the television for two-thirds of the day, which is a habit he's kept up all the way to the present time. Remember, whenever Chris is playing [[Little Big Planet|video games]], [[Sonichu|drawing comics]], or talking on the phone in his room, he often has a TV running in the background (sometimes muted and with closed captioning on, sometimes not).

The Claw of Fail is associated with, but not exclusive to, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]].

Christian has also shown TV pitchman [[BILLY MAYS]] clutching a miniature [[Wikipedia:Cornus (genus)|dogwood tree]] in a similar fashion, possibly as a display of dominance. In acting, this is usually called "milking the giant cow," and considered to be something only hams do. Chris can't even ham properly, though; the Claw looks stiff and unnatural, whereas a proper milking (see anything with [[wikipedia:Rudolf Klein-Rogge|Rudolf Klein-Rogge]] in it) is typically a very fluid and passionate gesture.

== Use in 2009 and beyond ==
Chris has taken to using the Claw of Fail as a symbol of power or dominance over his enemies, as seen in [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|his rap video]]. This is perhaps a sign of Chris's slow turn to the Dark Side as he indulges in the art of what he hates the most: [[troll]]ing. Given the blackmail videos and the theft of [[Kacey]], we can only assume it's a matter of time before Chris becomes a full blown supervillain and wears the [[Medallions of Fail|Black Sonichu medallion]] on a more regular basis.

It is also likely that the use of the Claw is directly proportional to the size of Chris's [[ego]], evident in the fact that as of [[October 2009]], Chris' ego had inflated beyond human proportions blocking out the sun and causing it to snow in [[CWCville]] as seen in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrxb_8dWa5Y this] video.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Claw.jpg|Notice how the threatening gesture is immediately negated by the [[Sonichu Medallion]], the room full of toys, and the fact that it's being performed by what appears to be a blob that has sprouted limbs and a human head.
Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|[[Billy Mays]] shown plucking a still-living tree from the earth.
Image:Clawofdoom whatchrisbelieves.jpg|This is what Chris thinks he will look like after a few more weeks of playing [[Brutal Legend]].
Image:Claw of fail.jpg|She is mine now!
Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|You cannot ignore my [[power]]!
Image:Claw of fail 3.jpg|Seems like Chris is devoloping a new tic to go with [[sigh]]s and [[Speech Impediment|hmm]].
Image:Claw of fail attack.jpg|[[Duck|Duck]], it's coming right at us!
Image:Claw of fail 4.jpg|Moar claw
Image:Rageclaw.jpg|Has this gesture gotten less threatening with overuse?
Image:SchuComic9P38.jpg|Double claws for the [[Homos]].
Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|An early claw cameo, note the evil character doing it.
</gallery>
</center>

{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:Mannerisms]]

Gitar of Fail

2010-12-14T07:28:37Z

CWCHistorian: /* See also */

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are no mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos. The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play guitar.

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==

Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has at least ''four'' Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with Sonichu paintjob
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with US flag stripes and tons of stickers
* A mostly black one.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with, but then common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.

In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.

The Gitar appears in his [[100 2266|Cosplay for Grimace video.]] In this video he strums about 10 seconds of Bingo then sings Mark Will's "Don't Laugh at Me". He attempts to gain sympathy, but fails miserably.

He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Chris seems a bit bored here, doesn't he?
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery>
</center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]
* [[Chris and music]]
* [[Guitar Hero]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Gitar of Fail

2010-12-14T07:26:09Z

CWCHistorian: /* See also */

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are no mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos. The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play guitar.

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==

Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has at least ''four'' Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with Sonichu paintjob
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with US flag stripes and tons of stickers
* A mostly black one.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with, but then common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.

In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.

The Gitar appears in his [[100 2266|Cosplay for Grimace video.]] In this video he strums about 10 seconds of Bingo then sings Mark Will's "Don't Laugh at Me". He attempts to gain sympathy, but fails miserably.

He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Chris seems a bit bored here, doesn't he?
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery>
</center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]
* [[Chris and music]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Gitar of Fail

2010-12-14T07:24:26Z

CWCHistorian: /* Appearances */

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are no mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos. The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play guitar.

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==

Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has at least ''four'' Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with Sonichu paintjob
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with US flag stripes and tons of stickers
* A mostly black one.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with, but then common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.

In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.

The Gitar appears in his [[100 2266|Cosplay for Grimace video.]] In this video he strums about 10 seconds of Bingo then sings Mark Will's "Don't Laugh at Me". He attempts to gain sympathy, but fails miserably.

He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Chris seems a bit bored here, doesn't he?
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery>
</center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Gitar of Fail

2010-12-14T07:20:20Z

CWCHistorian: /* Appearances */

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are no mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos. The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play guitar.

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==

Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has at least ''four'' Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with Sonichu paintjob
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with US flag stripes and tons of stickers
* A mostly black one.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with, but then common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.

In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.

The Gitar appears in his [[100 2266|Cosplay for Grimace video.]] In this video he strums about 10 seconds of Bingo then sings [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Wills| Mark Will's] "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Laugh_at_Me| Don't Laugh at Me]". He attempts to gain sympathy, but fails miserably.

He occasionally mimes out the main guitar riff in his [[CWC "Boyfriend"|"Boyfriend" video.]]

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Chris seems a bit bored here, doesn't he?
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery>
</center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Gitar of Fail

2010-12-14T07:10:38Z

CWCHistorian: /* Appearances */

[[Image:Gitar.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The gitar in the image that won him $400 from [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest|GameStop]] (''Guitar Hero III'' version)]]
[[Image:CWCAdultChronicles.jpg|left|thumb|150px|The Gitar of Fail is seen on Chris's back here.]]

The '''Gitars of Fail''' are Chris's custom painted ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' guitar controllers that make appearances in several videos. They are no mere game controllers, however; Chris likes to pose with the controllers, for example in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] as well as several videos. The Gitars also make many appearances in the comics, for example [[Revive Zordon|when going Jericho on 4-Cent Garbage]], and also on the cover of his mocked-up copy of [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]. He appears to think that it counts as an actual instrument and gives him the skill to really play guitar.

<div style="text-align:center;">'''Fun Fact: He fails at using the guitar strap.'''</div>

== Gitars through the ages ==

Chris made [[wikipedia:Robert Kotick#Controversy|Bobby Kotick]] a ''very'' happy man. Judging from [[100 2278|the most recent photos from Chris's room]] from [[October 2010]], Chris currently has at least ''four'' Gitars of Fail:

* The ''Guitar Hero 5'' version, which Chris hasn't managed to mod to the extreme just yet
* The ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul version, with Sonichu paintjob
* The ''Guitar Hero I/II'' Gibson SG version, turquoise with US flag stripes and tons of stickers
* A mostly black one.

It's not clear why Chris would buy more than one controller, as the controllers are mostly compatible with newer games and he obviously has no friends to play with, but then common sense has never had much to do with his video game purchasing decisions.

He may have had even more of them, as he sold another ''Guitar Hero III'' Les Paul on [[eBay]] in September 2009. He also had a customized ''Rock Band'' Stratocaster known as "[[Things Chris has ripped off|Meatwad's Shredwud]]," appeared in a video Chris recorded in [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|October 2009]]. Chris hocked this guitar on eBay around the same time, effectively [[Jimmy Hill|selling a product]] identical to another cartoonist's intellectual property.

==Appearances==
The Gitar appeared in the [[PS3 History Level]] video.

In Chris's [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|music video]] for [[Ivy]], he uses the Gitar extensively to rock out for her. In this video, it appears that Chris has further decorated the Gitar since he [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|first introduced it]] in October 2008.

The Gitar appears in his [[100 2266|Cosplay for Grimace video.]] In this video he strums about 10 seconds of Bingo then sings [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Wills| Mark Will's] "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Laugh_at_Me| Don't Laugh at Me]". He attempts to gain sympathy, but fails miserably.

==Guitar Hero III version==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|Chris seems a bit bored here, doesn't he?
Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|The funny thing is, there are no guitar solos in the song "Holding Out For a Hero"... at all.
Image:CWCShred.jpg|Not even guitar parts, I'm afraid.
</gallery>
</center>

== Guitar Hero II version ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:515-CustomGuitar2.JPG|Closeup of the body. Note how the paint looks like poster paint, since Chris's greasy hands would wipe off watercolor.
Image:516-CustomGuitar3.JPG|Neck of guitar controller. Notice Chris's pic of himself playing guitar is on his guitar on the body AND the fret board. Also, transformation sequence of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].
Image:517-CustomGuitar4.JPG|Head. Notice the Sonichu sticker.
Image:514-CustomGuitar1.JPG|Chris showing it off (to himself, at least).
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[GameStop Guitar Hero Contest]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

McDonald's

2010-12-14T06:48:41Z

CWCHistorian: /* McCosplay */

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|I don't go to McDonald's often, maybe 2 or 3 times a week.|Chris}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|A typical visit to McDonald's]]

'''[[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]]''' is [[CWC|Chris's]] restaurant of choice. Chris's ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here. His favorite items are Chicken McNuggets and the $1 sweet tea.

Chris met the real life [[B-Manajerk]] in a Wal-Mart McDonald's.

Based on reports from [[Ivy]] in [[Mumble]] on 28 March [[2009]], Chris's preference for McDonald's is symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who prefers Burger King.

===Possible cause for health problems===
[[Image:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald McDonald reading [[Sonichu]].]]
Chris's [[Chris and health|inactive lifestyle and constant consumption of McDonald's]] may contribute to his growing [[obesity]], as well as his high cholesterol. The number of times Chris claims to eat food from McDonald's, two or three times a week, is equivalent to going about 130 times a year. At this rate of consumption, Chris will likely develop serious medical problems. It's possible that he might develop heart disease or type 2 diabetes in the near future if he continues to live the way he does. The likelihood of him passing away before the age of 50 due to heart attack or stroke increases each month. It also doesn't help that he doesn't seem to realize just how bad fast food is. He mentioned once that ordering a chicken salad is healthier, which is a common misconception. Salads at most restaurants, especially fast food chains, come with high-calorie dressing and fried chicken or taco filling, which makes the salad worse than a hamburger; also, the chicken is most likely pumped with hormones before being slaughtered, processed, and shipped. Let's not forget to mention that he drinks the sweet tea, which likely also contains high-fructose corn syrup, and he probably eats french fries with his meals.

==Conflict with Kacey==
During Chris's abortive attempt to win over [[Kacey]] as his [[sweetheart]], at her behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. One of Kacey's particular demands was that Chris quit eating fast food, an expectation he almost entirely failed to live up to. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was unquestionably a lie.

Since Kacey's marriage to [[Liquid Chris]] in mid-November 2009, the McNuggets have almost certainly resumed their steady march down Chris's bottomless gullet.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Punchyfeedslayla.jpg|thumb|right|300px|"Have some fistfull fries!"]]
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Quicky Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9]], where it seems to be a popular place to go on a date. [[Punchy]] took [[Layla]] there on their first date.

==McDonald's Monopoly 2009==
Chris has been stuffing his fat fucking face full of this shit since the Monopoly 2009 promotion started. He claimed to not care about it in a [[Brutal Legend Plus|video]], only to [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Results|create more accounts later and enter 65 codes from purchased goods]].

===Account 1 (October 6 - October 20)===
52 codes (43 of them from purchased things)

*52. St. Charles Place
*51. Oriental Avenue
*50. Baltic Avenue
*49. Park Place
*48. Marvin Gardens

===Account 2 (October 21)===
11 codes (10 of them from purchased things)

*11. Park Place
*10. North Carolina Avenue
*9. Illinois Avenue
*8. Community Chest (2)
*7. Oriental Avenue

===Account 3 (October 22 - October 23)===
7 codes (6 of them from purchased things)

*7. Park Place
*6. Community Chest (3)
*5. Illinois Avenue
*4. New York Avenue
*3. Electric Company

===Account 4 (October 23 - October 28)===
8 codes (6 from purchased things)

*8. Reading Railroad
*7. Luxury Tax
*6. North Carolina Avenue
*5. B. & O. Railroad
*4. Pennsylvania Railroad

==McCosplay==
[[File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|thumb|Chris as the Hamburglar, apparently.]]
[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|At least it hides his tits.]]
In the beginning of October 2010, Chris apparently remembered Jackie telling him that she liked his cosplay videos. After a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|very controversial cosplay video]] over 2 weeks before, Chris decided to continue his act with McDonald's characters. His first McDonaldland act was [[100 2265|the Hamburglar]], where he
[[CWCFlyingElephants|ran around his room acting batshit crazy]], wearing a BDSM costume that looked nothing like the Hamburglar whatsoever. The next day, Chris portrayed [[100 2266|Grimace]]. [[Chris and art|Needless to say]], the Grimace costume he made looked like something a preschooler would make. While Chris was wearing the paper costume, he delivered a speech about autism and bullying before breaking out into song. One main reason Chris may like Grimace could be explained by him seeing an episode of Family Guy (season 5 episode 6) where Lois dresses up as The Grimace to roll play with Peter. In the scene she asks Peter if he has any hamburgers to steal (mistaking the Hamburglar for Grimace) to which Peter responds: "Lois, the Hamburglar steals burgers, Grimace is Ronald McDonald's autistic friend." Since Peter called Grimace autistic, Chris may believe that he is.

{{Lists}}

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]

McDonald's

2010-12-14T06:47:25Z

CWCHistorian: /* McCosplay */

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|I don't go to McDonald's often, maybe 2 or 3 times a week.|Chris}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|A typical visit to McDonald's]]

'''[[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]]''' is [[CWC|Chris's]] restaurant of choice. Chris's ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here. His favorite items are Chicken McNuggets and the $1 sweet tea.

Chris met the real life [[B-Manajerk]] in a Wal-Mart McDonald's.

Based on reports from [[Ivy]] in [[Mumble]] on 28 March [[2009]], Chris's preference for McDonald's is symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who prefers Burger King.

===Possible cause for health problems===
[[Image:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald McDonald reading [[Sonichu]].]]
Chris's [[Chris and health|inactive lifestyle and constant consumption of McDonald's]] may contribute to his growing [[obesity]], as well as his high cholesterol. The number of times Chris claims to eat food from McDonald's, two or three times a week, is equivalent to going about 130 times a year. At this rate of consumption, Chris will likely develop serious medical problems. It's possible that he might develop heart disease or type 2 diabetes in the near future if he continues to live the way he does. The likelihood of him passing away before the age of 50 due to heart attack or stroke increases each month. It also doesn't help that he doesn't seem to realize just how bad fast food is. He mentioned once that ordering a chicken salad is healthier, which is a common misconception. Salads at most restaurants, especially fast food chains, come with high-calorie dressing and fried chicken or taco filling, which makes the salad worse than a hamburger; also, the chicken is most likely pumped with hormones before being slaughtered, processed, and shipped. Let's not forget to mention that he drinks the sweet tea, which likely also contains high-fructose corn syrup, and he probably eats french fries with his meals.

==Conflict with Kacey==
During Chris's abortive attempt to win over [[Kacey]] as his [[sweetheart]], at her behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. One of Kacey's particular demands was that Chris quit eating fast food, an expectation he almost entirely failed to live up to. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was unquestionably a lie.

Since Kacey's marriage to [[Liquid Chris]] in mid-November 2009, the McNuggets have almost certainly resumed their steady march down Chris's bottomless gullet.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Punchyfeedslayla.jpg|thumb|right|300px|"Have some fistfull fries!"]]
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Quicky Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9]], where it seems to be a popular place to go on a date. [[Punchy]] took [[Layla]] there on their first date.

==McDonald's Monopoly 2009==
Chris has been stuffing his fat fucking face full of this shit since the Monopoly 2009 promotion started. He claimed to not care about it in a [[Brutal Legend Plus|video]], only to [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Results|create more accounts later and enter 65 codes from purchased goods]].

===Account 1 (October 6 - October 20)===
52 codes (43 of them from purchased things)

*52. St. Charles Place
*51. Oriental Avenue
*50. Baltic Avenue
*49. Park Place
*48. Marvin Gardens

===Account 2 (October 21)===
11 codes (10 of them from purchased things)

*11. Park Place
*10. North Carolina Avenue
*9. Illinois Avenue
*8. Community Chest (2)
*7. Oriental Avenue

===Account 3 (October 22 - October 23)===
7 codes (6 of them from purchased things)

*7. Park Place
*6. Community Chest (3)
*5. Illinois Avenue
*4. New York Avenue
*3. Electric Company

===Account 4 (October 23 - October 28)===
8 codes (6 from purchased things)

*8. Reading Railroad
*7. Luxury Tax
*6. North Carolina Avenue
*5. B. & O. Railroad
*4. Pennsylvania Railroad

==McCosplay==
[[File:HAMBURGLAR.jpg|thumb|Chris as the Hamburglar, apparently.]]
[[File:Grimace.jpg|thumb|At least it hides his tits.]]
In the beginning of October 2010, Chris apparently remembered Jackie telling him that she liked his cosplay videos. After a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|very controversial cosplay video]] over 2 weeks before, Chris decided to continue his act with McDonald's characters. His first McDonaldland act was [[100 2265|the Hamburglar]], where he
[[CWCFlyingElephants|ran around his room acting batshit crazy]], wearing a BDSM costume that looked nothing like the Hamburglar whatsoever. The next day, Chris portrayed [[100 2266|Grimace]]. [[Chris and art|Needless to say]], the Grimace costume he made looked like something a preschooler would make. While Chris was wearing the paper costume, he delivered a speech about autism and bullying before breaking out into song. One main reason Chris may like Grimace could be explained by him seeing an episode of Family Guy (season 5 episode 6) where Lois dresses up as The Grimace to roll play with Peter. In the scene she asks Peter if he has any hamburgers to steal (mistaking the Hamburgler for Grimace) to which Peter responds: "Lois, the Hamburgler steals burgers, Grimace is Ronald McDonald's autistic friend." Since Peter called Grimace autistic, Chris may believe that he is.

{{Lists}}

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]