CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Semen

2010-05-04T12:23:15Z

Cake:

==To do==
*Add Chris's references to semen from the Skype chat
*Format chat transcript into a block quote.

Should the Fanta video be embedded here? [[User:Mantitx|Mantitx]] 19:03, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

*Now that there's a YouTube version, sure. Though I think there should still be an article devoted to those three videos (something catchy like "The Trilogy of Horrors videos") to discuss the three videos, their origins, etc.)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:06, 19 April 2009 (CEST)
*It was just removed for a community guidelines violation. CWCki is mostly organized by subject, maybe it should also be organized by source like the Captain's Log videos are. [[User:Mantitx|Mantitx]] 12:53, 19 April 2009 (CEST)

== picture you could use ==

[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcfiles/index.php?q=/post/view/512 got milk?]--

==Dry Heave==

Oh my god, I literally almost got sick seeing those pictures. I don't know why. I mean, wtf. I can look at all sorts of horrible shit, but this is...

Eugh. [[User:DeLemonoid|DeLemonoid]] 23:21, 10 May 2009 (CEST)

==No Wonder He Tries To Conserve It...==

Is it just me, or does it seem pretty damn sad that he considers the amount of cum in the infamous Fanta video "a lot"? --[[User:FrankTheTank|FrankTheTank]] 17:54, 25 November 2009 (CET)
:He seems to think everything he does, ever, is epic in proportion. He is mighty! He is virile! He is the picture of health and artistic achievement! He's just that delusional. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 19:59, 25 November 2009 (CET)
::Heh, true that. God, annoying as he is, it sure is nice to have someone to look at and go, "At least I'm nowhere NEAR being him." --[[User:FrankTheTank|FrankTheTank]] 01:08, 29 November 2009 (CET)

==I know he likes Monty Python but..==
Could he have possibly misinterpreted this?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0kJHQpvgB8 I mean he's dumb enough. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

==Removed Stupidity==
Removed "Get it? The navy is a bunch of ''seamen'' amirite? WAKKA WAKKA!" Because it's both unnecessary and unfunny. [[User:Cake|Cake]]

Semen

2010-05-04T12:21:54Z

Cake:

{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCcomeuppancemedallion.JPG|thumb|right|250px|The closest [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will ever get to touching the [[Medallion|Medallion of Fail]].]]

'''Semen''' is the fluid secreted by the gonads of males to impregnate females. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] has many misconceptions about its purpose.

Despite being "honest" about sex, Chris is sometimes uncomfortable saying "semen" and occasionally uses his own unique bowdlerized terms, such as "'''comeuppance'''" or "'''navy'''."

==Comeuppance==

In the context of sex (especially oral) with his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]], Chris refers to DROPPIN' FUCKIN' LOADS as "comeuppance," as seen here:

{{quote|Uh, it just feels so good, unngghh, and because me being a virgin, I would let you keep your mouth over my penis and then sooner than expected, I '''feel my comeuppance''' [emphasis added] and I come into your mouth, my semen is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. |Chris, "My First Time"<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]]}}

Chris presumably coined the term because a) ejaculate is called "come," b) it goes "up" when it comes out of his [[duck]], and c) he's an idiot. However, this created a shitstorm when his sex tapes dropped, because Webster's defines comeuppance as "a deserved rebuke or penalty" <ref>http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comeuppance</ref>. While Chris most likely heard this word and thought it would make a clever euphemism for "cum", the true meaning and its context seems to suggest an eerie Freudian slip.

===A tasty treat===
Chris believes that whatever he eats changes the flavor of semen, which may have some basis in fact.<ref>http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste---10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106</ref> However, what makes this ridiculous is that Chris thinks his semen will taste ''exactly'' like whatever he eats. He has indicated that he would strive for flavored comeuppance so his sweetheart/cum dumpster would savor the taste. In the sex tape audio, Chris presented the following scenario to [[Panda Halo]]:

{{quote|I would have eaten so much [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|chocolate]], that day beforehand, and it would taste so yummy to you, probably like white chocolate. You'd swallow that.|Chris <ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref>}}

In subsequent chats with [[Julie]], this fantasy was revised so that his comeuppance would taste like strawberries. Chris undoubtedly gobbles tons of sweets every day as a contingency in case he happens to unexpectedly find true love.

Coincidentally, sweets and other unhealthy foods are known to make semen taste even worse than usual. Chocolate is one of the worst offenders.

==Recycling==

{{quote|Mmm! Goes down salty.|Chris}}

Another tidbit revealed in the sex tapes was that when Chris [[mass debate|masturbates]] he makes sure to ejaculate into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]], to avoid making a mess.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Chris on Masturbation and the Sex Joke]]</ref> Shortly after this news broke, talk began to grow that Chris actually drinks from this cup.

The initial assumption, given Chris's hard stance on [[homos]], was that Chris was a devout, fundamentalist Christian and therefore had a rigid interpretation of the Biblical story of Onan<ref>http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan</ref> (This was before we found out Chris wouldn't know anything about the Bible unless he heard it on ''[[Family Guy]]''). Eventually the real reason was discovered: Chris believes that by ingesting his own sperm he can "recycle" it, so that none of his potential children are lost. That's right: Chris believes life begins at ejaculation.

For a time there was no concrete evidence to support this outrageous claim, so Chris wisely decided to confirm it as fact. Multiple times.

[21:08] [11:36:35 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: have you ever tasted your own semen
[21:08] [11:37:42 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: KEEP IT SECRET, but I actually have; I recycle my semen
until I get together with my Sweetheart (you) for the first time.
[21:08] [11:38:10 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: ohhhh.. so that's why you do it in a cup
[21:08] [11:38:38 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: yes; after recycle, I rinse the cup and dispose of it.
[21:10] [11:40:03 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: where did you come up with the idea of swallowing
your own semen to recycle it after you cummed? Was it on a sex site or your own idea?
[21:10] [11:40:13 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: MY OWN IDEA.
[21:12] [11:41:23 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: IMHO, it's often unsatisfying to me upon swallowing,
because it's not being truly enjoyed by my Sweetheart.

FACT: If swallowing is "often unsatisfying" for Chris, that means that sometimes [[homo|it ''is'' satisfying]].

Not convinced? Try this:

{{quote|Uh, no, I don't think so, uh, because I've done that [drinking semen after masturbating], it's called "recycling it." Yeah, so it's basically recycling so, like uh, so he doesn't necessarily lose it. I mean, 'cause you know, if you think of it as a waste if you banged it out and then you, uh and then you flushed it down the commode or leave it in the condom in the garbage can...Though personally, I've been getting sick of swallowing my own, so lately I've been disposing of them.|Chris, Mumble chat, 17 February 2009}}

[[Image:Recycle.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, he really does it...]]

In case you still don't believe it, Chris made a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|video]] for [[Ivy]] of himself drinking his jizz, which [[Clyde Cash]] leaked on 16 April 2009.<ref>http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html</ref> In the video, Chris explains that he doesn't have any chocolate milk handy (Ivy originally suggested Chris drink his semen with chocolate syrup in a cocktail glass), so he opted to wash it down with some orange Fanta. Coca-Cola, makers of Fanta, likely saw their stocks plummet with the news.

Just to make sure everyone on Earth knows about it, Chris later made a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] admitting and justifying the existence of the cum-guzzling footage.

{{quote|I recycle my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate--I'm not ashamed to admit it--as a lot of guys, I'm sure, have done the same thing in their time. Anyway, uh, basically I--yeah, into the cup and--yeah, I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, unborn children. So then I can--then I can also still have a good number of...a good semen count. Keep maintain that by recycling it.|Chris, defending the rights of the unborn, 28 April 2009}}

Chris has some advice for all you men out there too:

{{quote|And depending on the taste of it, uh, to the original owners...of the--their respective semen, uh, it's a good idea to recycle, but if, uh, you don--if you don--if you feel uncomfortable, uh, doing it or it tastes bad to you, then, uh, then you don't have to do it.|Chris, giving everyone his permission to not swallow semen, 28 April 2009}}

Questions remain about his recycling plan. If he doesn't want to lose even a single unborn child, does that mean he plans to eventually father millions of children? Is he really dumb enough to believe his navy will survive digestion? (That's a rhetorical question.) And what happens to the comeuppance he wants to leave in his sweetheart's mouth—does that magically teleport back where it came from, or can women get pregnant from oral sex? Sadly, these questions will never be answered, as Chris will never actually deposit his semen anywhere except his own throat (or [[Kimmi]]'s plastic [[china]].)

In the Kacey calls, Chris has also suggested interest in drinking his semen for arousal:
{{quote|And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]], after describing how he would titfuck Kacey}}
{{Clear}}

In [[Mailbag 30]], Chris announces he [[Mailbag_30#Chris quit guzzling cum|kicked the habit]], although the validity of this statement is questionable at best, considering his [[List of Chris's lies|track record]] for telling the truth.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Mass debating]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:F Abstinance

2010-04-06T07:17:11Z

Cake: /* This video */

let me have a whack at transcribing something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:13, 28 March 2010 (UTC)
:jesus christ now i know how you guys feel [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:31, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Good luck making a summary of this one. He's raging about kids learning abstinence because he's a virgin, then goes on to say that the comics are bad but a small thing like a backpack is fine (even though he's not getting a dime). Great.... --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:36, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

:What's the source for the quote at the top of the page about the LBP costumes? --[[User:Hatredy|Hatredy]] 00:31, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

::It's what Chris put in the description box on youtube. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 00:35, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

==Still thinks he's in High School==
His mentioning getting up during an assembly makes me think we can confirm the theory he never left high school mentally. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

You just figured that out? --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 04:33, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Oh I knew that just wanted to make a suggestion for some more evidence we can provide. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Every time I am hearing the term "Assembly", it is somewhat linked to a church. Just sayin' [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:40, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
* I thought that myself. That suggests he recently had a sermon on abstinance. In this case it probably wasn't refering to the abstinance of priests, but trying to suggest to young people that it is a valid alternative to being sexually active. Which might explain Chris' rage, anyone suggesting to young women that NOT having sex is a good idea would be HIS ENEMY. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 06:08, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
** Actually it was something that reminded him of high school, and an assembly on the virtues of abstinence. I think it was a Family Guy episode, but I'm not completely sure, as I don't watch terrible television. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 18:03, 30 March 2010 (UTC)
*** It was. I think the moral was "Abstinence is okay and all, but you don't have to do it. Just practice safe sex." Specifically, Chris likely latched onto the "Abstinence is okay" part(he does, after all, ignore the tactless atheism and liberal soapboxing). It couldn't have been his church, they don't believe in abstinence. Is there a way we can find out what episode aired last sunday at seven pm his time?
**** But, you see, that episode a very good indication of Family Guy's hamfisted style. I think it's obvious that Chris missed the message and clung to "Abstinence is bad," especially with how the abstinence side is presented. Combine that with his own rage at his virginity and perhaps a sermon that morning and we get this video. I wish Chris still answered Mailbags so we could get some background from him. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 23:10, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

== Sunday is video day. ==

He's been making a lot of videos on Sundays. I think last week someone at his church told him to leave the internet and this week someone at church told him to stop trying to rape people and to practice abstinence. I bet he just learned the word today.[[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]]
:Either that or a girl just used it as an excuse to flee his presence recently. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 01:17, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
:I also have the feeling that someone is preaching to our Chris. Is Rocky losing her grip on our favorite tub of lard? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:41, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
::It doesn't really read to me like something from church. He's actively mad at the concept of abstinence, which leads me to believe that he feels like the concept cost him a shot at some china recently. Maybe that was the Wallflower's final excuse as to why she didn't want to give it up to him, or he tried to make a move on another girl and she explained that she'd taken a pledge or something. Either way, I think if he'd just been preached abstinence he might make a video about opposing it, but I doubt he'd sound so angry about it. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 03:05, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
:::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stealing_First_Base This recent episode of The Simpsons may have something to do with it], though he's also probably still pissed about the Wallflower incident. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 04:28, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*It'd be interesting to get some statistics on Chris's videos - average length, the days he uploads videos on, time of day, that sort of thing. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:12, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Yeah, that'd be a table worth putting together. A lot of them, it would be hard to peg what time of day they went up now because we're down to the CWCVille Library copies, but the rest of the data could be interesting. As for abstinence, just going on pure irrational bias about the content of sex education courses in semi-rural Virginia, he probably got an earful about it in high school, but he was also probably too busy reading Goosebumps to get too wound up about it at the time. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:16, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Could this be next month's project then? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 00:28, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

Ok, CWC has made 32 videos in 2010. 4 on Mondays, 4 on Tuesdays, 6 on Wednesdays, 3 on Thursdays, 5 on Fridays, 7 on Saturdays and only 3 on Sundays. So Saturdays seem to be the days Chris is most willing to make a fool of himself. [[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]]

== Another reason why I hate this mother fucker. ==

Seriously? He now wants people to rise up against abstinence? *Facepalm* If a girl doesn't want to have sex, then she '''doesn't want to have sex.''' It's a simple concept. He's just jealous that you can't get any china. Besides, any girl would want to proclaim abstinence around a creepy obese, greasy, sweaty, smelly stalking rapist like himself.

Ugh... I don't want to talk any more about this. I hope he gets pepper sprayed one day, though.

--[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 03:45, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
* I can't wait to see what two words get mashed together to describe ''that'' incident. "Jerk" don't really portmanteau with "girl" the way it does with "cop" and "manager." -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 04:29, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
**Abstigirl? Bitchstinance? -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 06:08, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*** Bitchstinance. I love it. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 09:27, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
**** He'll probably be making a Sonichu Special when that happens and portray the girl as an evil troll that wants nothing more to shatter his heart level to 0% by causing his poor heterochromic eyes unjust pain. (when in reality she was just defending herself from another "Megan" incident.) --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 13:16, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
***** We know Chris feels he is "owed" sex by the female population. If that doesn't make him an outright rapist, he's at least a serious deviant, and a theoretical risk at best. -[[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 17:43, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
****** A lot of guys have stupid, troglodytic ideas about women and sex. Let's hold the "rapist" title until he actually tries to do something along those lines, okay? There's plenty to hate about Chris without making stuff up. By that standard of proof, 99% of the internet are murderers. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 18:18, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*******While I agree he's not an actual rapist, his ideas of the opposite sex owing him sex is a bit flawed. I wouldn't say rapist but the way he thinks about women seems like potential sex offender wouldn't be too unfair to say. Especially given that this video is most likely due to the fact that some woman he was going after used abstinence to get away from him. [[User:TheInternet|TheInternet]] 20:55, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

== This video ==

is the greatest thing to happen to my computer. ''Ever.'' That is all. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 19:44, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

* Yeah, this particular video was a funny one. Haven't seen too many funny ones lately. [[User:TheInternet|TheInternet]] 20:59, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

== Lack of Medallion ==

Shouldn't it be noted that since he's not wearing the medallion, everything he says is a lie/ not TRUE and HONEST, and thus he IS making money from people buying those comics, and he promotes abstinance? [[User:Cake|Cake]] 07:17, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris and his ego

2010-03-30T19:13:40Z

Cake: /* Persecution Complex */

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of Chris's flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] for real.
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the mall for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]
==Origins==
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the feelings of others is completely twisted. His autism compounded the problem by making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. He grew up in a different world.

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The Enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]
{{quote|He that spareth his rod hateth his son:<br />but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.|Proverbs 13:24}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) an almost 30-year-old with autism should live at home with his parents, especially one as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation show him to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into the strategies, because they never fostered any interest in independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly Tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and Money}}
Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the [[monthly tugboat]] is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind Luck and the Cherry Picking Fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'']]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, internet commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to Nintendo is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved...medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}}<br />

As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from [[PVCC]] in 2006, his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic Personality Disorder==
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quote|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], brilliance, beauty, or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3.believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

4.requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of [[Sweetheart|others]] to achieve his or her [[China|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs of others]]

8. is often envious of others or believes others are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9.shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]|Wikipedia describing Chris in a nutshell}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris's ego, right down to the sense of entitlement.

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted Self-Importance===
[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
:''See also: [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]''
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000.|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice observer to get lost in the sea of ''Sonichu'' shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on YouTube and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]].

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

===Persecution Complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he [[lie|'takes responsibility for']] are still out of his hands.

*His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was mean to him.
*He didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]].
*Or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]].

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia Page]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

It has never—and likely ''will'' never occur to him that he needs to go ''outside'', get a job, and get off the damned internet.

===Naïveté===
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the Sith: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labelling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu]]. The earlier trolling schemes, such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]], got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[Cwcki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In 2009 and 2010, Chris has slowly begun to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: The Pride Before the Fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] to have some sort of horror befall him.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get a recognition for his art?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb]]
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane chores as horrific trials of strength and will. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as 'psychological neoteny,' which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as 'omnipotence of thought'. Basically, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that Magi-chan is yet another Mary Sue for Chris (which adds more fuel to certain theories), serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for authority. Why he felt it necessary to make another character to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris' arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing the world, is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with [[Asperchu|Alec]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (E.G. Politics, religion, etc), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds information that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he may [[I'm_Sorry,_Dude|not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris' understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is a parody. As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissism), buying large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself, and by some twisted form of reality make him think that his unhealthy amount of children toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when in reality any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]].

===Tender Misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the Internet) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and act as a role model for children.

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them
straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knights]]. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get real, psychiatric help, Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's Ego in the Real World and in the Comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{clear}}
==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWC Update 9 April 2009

2010-03-25T17:34:07Z

Cake: /* Transcript */

"'''CWC Update 9 April 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 04092009'''").

[[Chris]] posted this video on his new [[YouTube]] account just a week after saying he was leaving YouTube forever.

In it, he announces his new website (http://www.cwcville.com, which is actually a good name). Now if he only renamed his comic that, redrew his characters to not match copyrighted ones, and renamed them, then he might have a work that doesn't violate copyright. But, then again, Chris does things for lulz/tard-rage.

Chris puts on a smug, grinning attitude throughout this video, saying his website is back up (<s>it'll probably get hacked soon</s> it was hacked soon after). He thanks [[God/Jesus]] and [[Ivy]] for their support, and ends it by saying, "I can feel the cosmos."

Notice that after an even BRIEF hiatus from Youtube, Chris actually seems legitimately happy. If only he wasn't autistic and could use common sense.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 9 April 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|rhY2uVRkiT0}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 9 April 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] [[CWCipedia]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalredshirt.png]] Horizontal Red Shirt
| previous = [[YouTube Finale]]
| next = [[CWC Update 12 April 2009]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: April 9th, [[2009]].

Well, the [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] site is back up again. The address is cwcville.com. And I'd like to thank my sweetheart [[Ivy]], for her most heartfelt emotional support, and for fixing my [[biological clock]]. Truly the one miracle I need in my sweetheart, that I need my sweetheart for.

And also, who I'd like to thank, [[God/Jesus]], our God and our Lord and savior, for their support—for their support as well, I pray to them every day, and I follow—I am guided by Jesus.

And with—uh, with the inspiration that I feel, I will continue the comic, at least about three pages a day, unless, uh, you know, something comes up... but I promise, uh, three da—three pages a day, drawn or colored, but, also with the, uh, website, and God/Jesus's support, I feel like... we will be seeing many new—many new thing. The website will be better.

[[Image:I can feel the cosmos.jpg|center]]

Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[YouTube Finale]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 12 April 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-04-09]]