CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Caps Luna

2015-08-26T20:22:11Z

Caps Luna: Created page with "Mostly just here to help document the works of our True and Honest Great Director Chris-Chan. I have been in contact with Chris a little but nothing too interesting."

Mostly just here to help document the works of our True and Honest Great Director Chris-Chan. I have been in contact with Chris a little but nothing too interesting.

My Little Pony

2015-08-26T20:03:49Z

Caps Luna:

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris: The original brony.]]
[[File:Mane6 Chaotic Combo.png|thumb|200px|A quick comparison between the [[wikipedia:Mane 6|Mane 6]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].]]

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DeadLinks}}

'''''My Little Pony''''' is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. In 2010, its [[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|modernized reinvention]] earned favorable acclaim among grown men, and a cult following called "bronies", with the equally [[retarded]] term "pegasisters" used for female fans. Chris is one of the few bronies to exist before the ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' cartoon gained popularity and led to the coining the term, and picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made ''My Little Pony'' dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the ''Friendship is Magic'' cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

Chris used a picture of Applejack from ''Friendship is Magic'' as his [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series--[[Rainbow]] [[Tomgirl|Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Chris's Applejack avatar.]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a G3 My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokémon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]] for loving children's shows, it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on 31 [[March 2012]], he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was "Gabby Gums."

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the ''MLP:FiM'' character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her [[Heterochromia|googly eyes]] and [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow method of thinking]], whose first speaking appearance in the episode "The Last Roundup" was re-edited because one person (who would later be heavily criticized by the ''MLP:FiM'' fanbase) thought Derpy's voice and personality in said appearance was offensive to the disabled. Naturally, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that appeared to have a sort of disorder.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony-related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous fanfiction ''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes]'' (which, for those who don't know is a fanfiction depicting Pinkie Pie graphically killing Rainbow Dash while maintaining her normal goofiness) and the "SHED" installment of HotDiggedyDemon's [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offense at Rainbow Dash, a tomboyish character, being gorily killed in both videos and, in a characteristic fit of fatuous [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], suggested that it was done because people hate [[Tomgirl Saga|tomboys and tomgirls]]. He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into the usual tirade of hatred against people in general.

In a twist of irony, it was recently discovered that Chris has not one, <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2FD70214E0CF6E92 Jappleack Playlist on Chris' YT account]</ref> but two <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2f2iqihk1im2B1M7ZXJyoCd-gkDLXYCQ Jackie and Jerry playlist on Chris' YT account] </ref> playlists from HotDiggedyDemon, [[Chris and hypocrisy|the creator of SHED.MOV that he hated so much.]] Also, he eventually would share a word of wisdom HotDiggedyDemon posted to his Facebook account that trolls noted would be really useful for Chris himself.

[[File:LegoDerpy.jpg|thumbnail|left|Chris's Lego pony in question; [[Chris and art|talented]] as always.]]

In 2013, Chris' actions would cause him to become a social pariah to the Brony community by calling out voice actress [[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] on her "Twilightlicious" video, claiming that she was tainting the name of the characters she had voiced by apparently supporting trolling and bullying. Many trolls had responded that his actions were, to say the very least, ''ridiculous'', due to him [[Autism|misunderstanding the context of her video]] and expecting a well-known celebrity [[Chris and his Ego|to personally answer to him]]. This certainly would have ended in Chris not hearing squat from Tara, had a troll not decided to forward his rant to her Facebook account. This is what she had to say:

{{quotebox|"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously for their own attention. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."}}

Despite not meeting Chris before in her life, Tara immediately and insightfully chastises Chris as someone who would pull this stunt for attention, and makes note of her work in anti-bullying campaigns (which is something Chris would obviously not put any effort into researching). Chris did not respond, but in all likelihood ignored every word of what she said and dismissed her as a '''"DANG, DIRTY TROLL!"''' like he does with anybody who does not [[White knight|enable him]]. Eventually, though, he put her song "Take My Hand" on the [[Three-Quarter Woman]] CD.

When the ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Equestria Girls|Equestria Girls]]'' trailer was released, Chris threw a ''fit'' on Facebook, citing that it would attract ''"[[pedofork|pedofile]] (sic) perverts"'' into the fanbase.<ref>[[:File:Chris-Chan - FB - Equestria Girls.png]]</ref> Never mind that the ''MLP:FiM'' fanbase has always had perverts (not to mention that ''so does every other fanbase in the world'') and he has drawn porn of underage characters in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' 8]]. He then goes on to say that the ''Friendship is Magic'' crew is "Out Of Their Minds", immediately after saying "With All Due Respect," even going so far as to name-drop Lauren Faust, who at that point had left the show more than a year prior. He then comments on his own note, loudly demanding in ALL CAPS that somebody pull the plug on it. Much to the surprise of nobody, Hasbro Studios did not respond to Chris' suggestions. Oh, and he [[Chris and hypocrisy|later "liked" some videos related to the movie online and named it his #2 favorite]].

[[File:RainbowChrissy.JPG|thumb|right|Chris's Rainbow Dash cosplay.]]
In [[October 2014]], Chris posted his own [[Lego]] 'Derpy' to his [[Facebook]] page.

On [[26 December 2014]], Chris donned a pair of novelty ''My Little Pony'' sunglasses as a "disguise" to get himself into a [[GameStop]] to vandalize a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Boom]]'' display.

On 19 [[January 2015]], a photo was leaked depicting Chris dressed up in a Rainbow Dash costume. While other Rainbow Dash cosplayers have done relatively well-done costumes and most of the time look fine, Chris on the other hand just looks creepy--although, given his [[Chris and...|many other issues]], this is not a surprise.

==Cutie mark==
[[File:Cutie mark.jpg|thumb|"Being really gross has got to be my destiny, 'cause that's what my cutie mark is telling me."]]
In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol on both an individual pony's thighs, representing their special talent and interest. Chris's "special talent", it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Prior to the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris likely would have defined himself by his art or perhaps his [[love quest]], but at this point seems to be anchoring his entire personality to his tomgirl status. Somewhat ironic is the fact that despite the implication of tomgirlhood being his special talent, Chris is a [[Tomgirl Pictures|very, ''very'' unconvincing tomgirl]].

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].
{{-}}

==Chris and Bronies==
Bronies are the teenage to adult males who have become fans of the Friendship is Magic incarnation of the My Little Pony franchise. While one would think Christian would be proud, or even claim responsibility for, Bronies given the contents of his Future Message, Chris manages to once again defy expectations and common sense. Chris seems to hate all Bronies simply because they have [[Duck| Ducks]] and are therefore JERKS. When Chris became a Tomgirl he considered himself a "Pegasister," which adult female fans of Friendship is Magic are called. It was only mater of time before he started making demands on Facebook for bronies to bow down to their Pegasister counterparts. He seems to blame the parts of the fandom which offend him, such as the Pony.mov series, on the wretched Brony MALES and their twisted perversions while assuring himself that the female fans of the show are no doubt responsible for all the elements of the fandom he admires and [[Mass Debating| Mass Debates]] to. While totally unconfirmed at the moment, it is speculated that his hatred for the MALE bronies is partially fueled by a belief they are [[Homos]].

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:Chris Pony.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The original Cheroki-Chan, made with Chris's own [[hair]] and Crayola Fuckin' Model Magic [[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The improved store-bought Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Death threats|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan Schroeder|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchemest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]]. Based on Megan's brother [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony. A Christmas gift for Tyler, the son of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. A gift for Briana, one of the daughters of Gym Leader Tony.
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]] type. A gift for Caitlyn, the youngest daughter of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony. Based on Linnea, Anna's friend and co-worker.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos."
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = THE original brony
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8aXhm_sm3bU}}
| Stardate = 8 March 2012
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary TheCWCvilleLibrary]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]
==References==
<references />
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

A-Logs

2015-08-26T18:38:00Z

Caps Luna: /* Chris is not Hitler */

[[File:A_Log.jpg|thumb|240px|The original A-Log in all his glory.]]
[[File:A-Logging in nutshell.jpg|thumb|A-Logging in a nutshell. You don't even need to watch the video in question; the title and thumbnail are enough.]]
[[File:ILoveRobotR34AndMeNotBeingChrisCompletelyJustifiesIt.jpg|thumb|"Hey, at least it's not Chris-Chan doing it."]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Protip|This article is about the term "A-Logging", not about Anthony LoGatto himself. Information on the latter should go to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.}}
{{quote|What Saddam did in the [[Father Call|Gulf War]] was potatoes to what [[Chris]] has done.|A-Log providing a helpful example of A-Logging.}}

'''A-Logging''' is a term used to describe one wishing harm (usually physical) upon Chris, usually for perceived "crimes" that Chris is "guilty" of. The people who do this are known as '''A-Logs''', and are considered at the other end of the spectrum from [[white knight]]s; where white knights try to defend Chris from [[trolls]] and help him to improve his situation, A-Logs hold the belief that Chris is deserving of whatever scorn and harm he is subjected to, and then some. A-Logs can also be interchangeably referred to as [[weens]], as A-Logging and weening often overlap, although there is a distinction between the two. While once fashionable, A-Logging has become associated with people trying to "trollshield" themselves, like the original A-Log, and therefore is looked down upon by Christorians.

The term originates from '''Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto''', a [[YouTube]]r who is known for making commentaries on Chris, which are often considered to be the worst ever made. He often points out the obvious (a no-no in the commentary community) instead of making points about what Chris is doing is wrong, and goes on about how Chris is an awful person (and how he, A-Log, is better) who needs to have harm inflicted upon him. However, A-Log's monomania led trolls to wonder what he was trying to hide, leading to them doing a bit of research on him. The result was that A-Log became known as "Chris-Chan 2.0" because, as it happened, he had several faults similar to Chris himself, and could be considered worse than Chris. Among other things, he is a furry, has made terrible erotic fanfiction, is doing a laughable college radio show (from which he was almost fired after being caught [[Mass debating|watching]] [[Bob Walks In|porn]] in the studio), some awkward interviews at WolfDork.com, a leaked video of him doing a painfully bad stand-up routine, and much, much more. Ultimately, A-Log became subject to trolling himself, and is the inspiration for this very term. At one point, A-Log even received his own wiki called the "Logattopedia", which was relatively short-lived and unpopular.

==Features of A-Logging==
There are a few qualities which are common in A-Logs, and many of them can be seen in the original A-Log's commentaries.

===Justifications for trolling Chris===
Some would argue that it is sinister and just plain wrong to mock a mentally deficient person such as Chris. A-Logs therefore try to justify trolling him by arguing that, regardless of his [[autism]] and other undiagnosed problems, he has shown that he is a bad person who "deserves" to be trolled. Many A-Logs are themselves autistic, and they can often be heard making arguments along the lines of Chris "giving autistics a bad name." Others will appeal to his many instances of bigotry (most of them debatable) as reasons to troll Chris. By establishing that Chris is a bad person, it seems to justify that Chris not only deserves the treatment he currently receives, but also deserves physical and/or psychological harm inflicted on him.

While Chris has done some horrible things, including [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|cursing his former friend Megan Schroeder for trolling him]] (which of course, she didn't) and [[28 October 2011|running over Michael Snyder with his car]], it is still somewhat ironic that A-Logs think the best recourse is to wish him death and curse him back. Not to mention, they tend to ignore the factors that led Chris to behave in this way--unsurprisingly, unbridled malevolence is never one of them, as discussed in further detail below.

===Trollshielding===
Often times, A-Logs do so to "[https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Troll_Shielding trollshield]", that is, to avoid becoming subject to trolling themselves. Like A-Log himself, they tend to have many traits in common with Chris; they generally have an autism spectrum disorder, still live with their parents well into adulthood, are unemployed and/or are living off welfare, are sexually frustrated virgins, have trouble socializing and forming relationships, or are fixated on things aimed at children, like cartoons and toys that have limited appeal for most adults. Some perhaps have even more faults than Chris, especially bizarre fetishes. However, A-Logs will argue that at least they are "not like Chris" and are fervent in their urge to troll Chris so people don't troll them instead. More often than not, as in the case of the original A-Log, this backfires and they find themselves becoming the subject of trolling.

==Arguments against A-Logs==
While Chris is far from perfect, it is generally accepted that calling for him to be harmed or abused like A-Logs do legitimizes Chris's sense of victimization, and makes the A-Logs themselves look sociopathic and amoral.

===Chris is not Hitler===
While the [[CWCki]] certainly does not justify any of the bad things Chris has done, what A-Logs ''must'' understand is that Chris, while not exactly a likeable person, isn't guilty of "crimes" that must be punished with violence or abuse. We really shouldn't need to point out that Chris being compared to people like Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler is at best hyperbolic, and at worst, utter insanity. Hitler was responsible for the death of nearly 11 million civilians during World War II.<ref>[http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/36qs.html 36 Questions & Answers About the Holocaust]</ref> Chris's antics hardly compare to the atrocities committed by two feared and reviled dictators; he's just a gullible idiot who spends his time trying to hit on women (very badly) and make them his [[sweetheart]]s, rambling about [[Sonic Boom|blue arms]], [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] and playing [[vidya]].

While he ''is'' quite prone to [[rage]] and has a noted tendency to wish [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|very unpleasant]] [[death threats|things]] on those who wrong him, it should be plain to see that he is simply too lazy, weak, cowardly and incompetent to actually carry out whatever he threatens. After all, do you really think a man who took 20 seconds to open a Swiss Army knife is capable of killing anyone? Moreover, when taking Chris's childlike mental state into account, it's also quite possible he doesn't fully understand the gravity of what he wishes upon people when making death threats, especially when he's blinded by anger.

Chris is also known to exact violent retribution from those who have wronged him in his fictional works, which A-Logs tend to use as evidence of him being evil or psychopathic. For example, he is known to have beaten up representations of his real-life enemies in ''[[Soul Calibur]]'', and subjected them to particularly gruesome deaths in the ''[[Sonichu 8|Sonichu]]'' [[Sonichu 10|comics]]. However, not only are these gory episodes in [[CWCVille]] isolated incidents, but again, one must remember that he is resorting to this because he is sensible enough to realize that he could not do this in real life, due to his own weakness and because he knows he'll be punished for it, which is, in itself, an encouraging sign. Moreover, even if this were taken to be evidence of a violent streak, it does not merit abuse or punishment because obviously, he hasn't actually hurt anyone except an NPC in ''Soul Calibur''. While violent fantasies like these ''do'' merit anger management classes and/or a few sessions with a psychiatrist, they are ''not'' a green light for A-Logs to demonize Chris; he's mentally ill, and as such needs help, not hate.

Even in comparison to many other infamous internet personalities, Christian is in fact fairly benign. While many A-logs tend to justify their actions by arguing Chris could someday act on his fantasies and commit and act of violence or even rape, but tend to forget about people who have actually done those things. For perspective, fellow Lolcow [https://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Vade Vade] is widely believed to have intentionally caused her boyfriend to commit suicide in order to gain sympathy on Tumblr. She then used this sympathy to build a sizable legion of followers who would spam any Tumblr user Vade deemed offensive or unworthy, for a time nearly ruling the site like a micro-dictatorship. Yet for some reason countless A-logs direct their scorn at Chris even though his violent and authoritarian fantasies have remained fantasies.

A-Logs also tend to turn to the [[October 2011]] [[GAMe PLACe]] incident to try and portray Chris as a truly violent individual. More likely than not, Chris's actions on that day were the result of his mother's influence, nonexistent driving skills, and sheer blind panic rather than outright malevolence.<ref>[[28 October 2011#Email?|"Mom took the wheel"]]</ref><ref>[[DayOut|Chris exhibits poor judgement while driving]]</ref> Likewise, Chris's decision to visit a local [[GameStop]] despite being banned [[26 December 2014|and subsequently macing of an employee]] who tried to get him to leave were not the product of malevolence on Chris's part. It was caused by Chris's [[Chris and reality|assumption]] that he would be allowed in because he was [[Honor roll|in disguise]], and [[Ego|because he]] [[Autism|had decided]] that his ban didn't apply because he was there to buy, not to [[Sonic Boom Protests|vandalize merchandise]], which had got him banned in the first place. Additionally, the leaked video of the incident shows Chris merely spraying at the employee's shirt rather than his face, which lends credence to Chris's own account that he was simply issuing a warning shot in case the employee tried to detain him, not trying to actually harm the man. All in all, the GameStop incident was caused, not by a violent streak, but by Chris's persistent habit of trying to circumnavigate rules when they inconvenience him.

===There's no legal defense over attacking Chris for real===
Perhaps the best reason against A-Logging is the legal liability (i.e. being charged and possibly convicted of stalking, terroristic threats, assault, or a myriad of other possible charges). Whatever feelings you may have about Chris, there is no legal defense for taking the law into your own hands and subsequently ending up with a possible life-altering felony conviction. In addition to this, part of the charm of watching Chris is in his eternal rage over a nonexistent enemy. Committing actual violence would only justify Chris's paranoia.

===Chris's beliefs are simply ignorant, not supremacist===
While Chris has held some politically incorrect, even bigoted opinions in the past, they hardly seem to suggest Chris is an amoral monster. One must consider that Chris was raised by and has spent his entire life around [[Borb|2 elderly, disturbed rednecks]]. Of ''course'' he has socially unacceptable beliefs on controversial topics such as race and sexuality--they were given to him by people whose every word he has unquestioningly accepted since he was young.

Aside from this, Chris's discomfort around black people is arguably more from failing to understand social norms. Chris simply doesn't understand that one does not announce to the world one is discomforted by African-Americans; this is far from the outright ideology of white supremacy that your average neo-Nazi would have. Chris has no history of actually going out and lynching blacks or other minorities that discomfort him. Chris's notable offenses have been applying stereotypes to and picking on the black kids who defeated him in [[TCGs]] at the GAMe PLACe, as well as using "Jew" as a pejorative against [[Michael Snyder]], who Chris inaccurately thinks is Jewish, and taking photos of an elderly black woman who was giving him "a hard time" and putting it on Facebook without her permission. One of Chris's grievances, if you can call it that, is that non-white women don't fit his ideal vision of a [[sweetheart]], which he constantly fails to properly articulate; it is entirely possible for a non-racist white man to not be sexually attracted to non-white women. Chris has also used the racial slur of "nigger" in a few of his means of communication, though he shows some degree of reservation where he uses this word. During the [[Lars Call]], Chris showed great apprehension towards using the word "nigga" and only did so when Lars gave him implicit permission. One of the most famous instances of Chris's use of the word "nigger" is in his video confronting [[Surfshack Tito]] on his trolling efforts.<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb#Video|On camera use of the word "nigger"]]</ref> In this video, Chris's racism is often found humorous as Tito is Hawaiian, not black. Moreover, Chris's usage of the word in [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]] is the result of it being an adaptation of a song from the racially-charged show ''[[Adult Swim|The Boondocks]]'', and pure laziness to change every racist part in the song to homophobic parts. When one examines Chris's use of the word, he does not show any understanding of the complexity, history, proper context, or underlying implications of the slur.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Chris's liberal use of "nigger"]]</ref> He simply repeats it blindly as he knows it that it is edgy and offensive to black people.

In regards to his homophobia, while his reasons are ill-informed at best, again, [[Bob]] is the likely source of Chris's dislike of homosexuals. Remember that Chris has had very little friendly interaction with ''anyone'', never mind true homosexuals.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call#Transcript|"[...]conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were gay[...]"]]</ref><ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|"[...]and my father threw the damned "fag" card at me."]]</ref> It is also worth noting that trolls are at least partially to blame for his hatred of homosexuals, as they would often pretend to be homosexuals, or spam his websites with homoerotic images, to get under his skin, not to mention that they often pretended to be black for the same reasons. As a result, Chris, in his autism, began to believe that all trolls are gay black men, and thus cement his disdain for homosexuals and black people, as he thought they were responsible for the trolling he was subject to. A-Logs also like to appeal to his attempts to "cure all the homos" with a vaccine made with his blood in the comics as proof positive of his homophobia. While this may be so, it is often seen as unintentionally funny by Christorians--not only because it shows his ignorance of science, but also because vaccines are made with dead cells infected with the disease they are curing--meaning that Chris unknowingly implied that he was gay. In short, Chris is ''not'' the Westboro Baptist Church--he doesn't go around picketing the funerals of dead gays, nor is he head of a power-lobbying group against LGBT individuals in Washington. He's just a redneck who's too indoctrinated by his parents and unused to minorities, or the concept of people being different to him, to know better.

It is also worth noting that with Bob gone, and [[Barb]] soon to follow, Chris has began to emerge from his parents' influence, and has began to back-pedal on his bigotry towards minorities. In particular, Chris has began to express his desire to become a lesbian transwoman, and has accordingly apologized on Facebook for his previous bigotry towards homosexuals, and become a staunch supporter of LGBTIQ rights. He has even began attending [[Impulse Gay Social Club|gay bars]], the one thing he said he'd never do.

===Chris just cannot get a job===
Some A-Logs contend that Chris is a bad person because he "steals" [[taxpayer money]]. What is almost always overlooked by A-Logs who make this claim is that it wasn't Chris who applied for social security disability; it was Bob who applied for and convinced Chris that he would make more from disability benefits than working at a minimum wage job. Realistically, Chris didn't have any say in the matter because Bob was the head of the house, and as such it was at his whim that Chris had food, shelter and clothing.

So why doesn't Chris "get off his lazy butt and earn his keep"? Well, because there are a couple of very difficult barriers that stand in his way that many A-Logs simply don’t take into consideration.

First, there is the bureaucratic red tape and regulations involved in someone who is on disability working full-time. Ironically, it isn't Chris sitting around playing video games day after day receiving a government check that would likely get him in trouble for disability fraud, it would be working full-time at a minimum wage job while still getting a disability check that would get him in trouble.

Second, there is the issue of Chris's lack of preparation in independent living skills as well as his lack of coaching in finding a job and being able to keep it. Moreover, given the existence of this wiki, and the fact that it is standard these days for employers to Google potential employees, it would more likely than not take someone working in human services or in the employment field (that has ''extremely'' good connections) and a job coach (on a long-term basis) to convince a sceptical employer to give Chris a realistic chance at successfully getting and keeping a job. In addition, given Chris's rap sheet, even under ideal circumstances Chris's chances at decent employment may be slim at best. Chris has been convicted for the events of 28 October 2011 and 26 December 2014, which would deter potential employers, regardless of his ability to perform to tasks they set him. While it may sound attractive to the uninformed to "[[Kick the Autistic|kick his ass]]" when it comes to Chris working, in reality there are deep-seated issues that go way beyond the expertise of a few trolls, and no amount of A-Logging can change this.

===Chris is just an idiot===
Chris is not mentally retarded as defined by medical standards and as he [[Exposing Jeff|claims]]. His IQ is within normal range. What trips him up is his lack of common sense. He actually believed that an [[Vanessa Hudgens|attractive celebrity]] was interested in him sexually and that he was talking to her. He used to insist that he'd had many [[sweethearts]], all very attractive women, and never seemed to find it curious that they all either died, disappeared, or were unmasked as trolls. He is an easy mark, not a criminal mastermind.

===Most people can avoid being trolled===
Chris ''does'' share traits with a lot of people, and some of these traits are quite disturbing and embarrassing. It's a fair assumption that a lot of people who follow Chris's antics are unemployed gamer losers, for example. A lot of people have seen Chris and uttered in their minds "Finally, here's someone who's far more pathetic than ''I'' am!"

But before you fall into the fallacy of believing that vociferously condemning Chris will save you from the same fate, remember that having embarrassing traits like Chris's ''doesn't'' automatically make you subject to the sort of trolling Chris has had. It ''may'' make you subject to ridicule, but what's more important is how ''you'' respond to the ridicule. You could be like Chris and get [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|BLANGRY]] at every traitorous troll [[Laughs Under Lucricities|under lucricities]], and give the trolls power over you just like Chris did.

Or you could laugh with them at your faults, or even just ignore them and go about your business. Trolls generally aren't interested in people they can't coax a reaction out of. This vital recognition is something Chris never managed, and what set him down the path to perennial trolling in the first place. All in all, if you don't want to end up like him, A-Logging isn't the way to do it. But avoiding the myriad of mistakes Chris and A-Log made is.

==The Hall of A-Logging Shame==
In this section, the CWCki has compiled several comments (and plenty more to come) from A-Logs on YouTube and elsewhere.

{{quote|Obviously you've never heard of what he calls other people who are autistic, and that he calls people with [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]](such as myself) "fakers". he doesn't deserve some, he deserves everything for giving us a bad name. The [[trolls]] are also doing what they do to him for a good reason. it's not about the autism to them, but more of that he's a moron who is evil reincarnate and deserves to go back to hell. I don't believe you know what all CWC has done to us on youtube.|GamerXZ0, in a YouTube comment on an original upload of an A-Log video.}}

{{quote|29 years ago today, satan was born and molded into the fucktardian [[Duck|PENIS]] we know & despise today! Should i ever see him i'm gonna [[wikipedia:Mass Transit incident (professional wrestling)|destroy him worse than new jack did to mass transit!]]|ISLAVERDE29, another YouTube comment on an older A-Log video.}}

{{quote|actually, I think I prefer putting many bullets in this faggots head instead.|hanchiman on the [[FUTURE MESSAGE]].}}

{{quote|Hooray [[Bob Chandler|he's]] dead. Now he'lll be spending his eternity in hell while I go piss on his grave.|mxc82, again, another YouTube comment on one of A-Log's older videos, referring to Bob's death.}}

{{quote|Mostly because I was hoping the video would end with him getting shot dead. by the [[Ruckersville]] [[Jerkops|police]]. You can imagine how disappointed I am to find him still alive and kicking when the video is over.|CKO92 on YouTube, reacting over the [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|Lego High School]] video.}}

{{quote| You fucking brony piece of shit, go kill yourself. If i was your mother i would have an abortion.|randomletters on the Lego High School video.}}

{{quote|Chris Chan u are the single worst human being who ever live. If it wasn't for u fellow autistics and [[Sonichu|Sonic OC]] creators like me would be respected by the world. What you have done is unforgivable. I hope [[Barb]] dies and you spend the last minutes of your life crying about how your a pathetic failure fuck you|OfficialSteroidHedgy, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account.}}

{{quote|I hope you are ashamed that a retarded autistic person (just like yourself) killed 20 innocent kids....all autistic people should be wiped from the earth and aborted before birth since you are all evil i wish the worst fates that heaven and hell can bring upon you and all the other autistic pieces of shit like you|RealReplyGirl4Ever, in a comment in Chris's YouTube account- comparing Chris to [[wikipedia:Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting|a man who shot up an elementary school]] and advocating genocide.}}

{{quote|Guess whose house burned down today. CHRIS-CHAN!|Bad Webcomics Wiki, gloating on their Facebook Page about [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Chris's house burning down]].}}

{{quote|HAHAHAHAHA|A response by the Bad Webcomics Wiki when a troll calls them out for the above.}}

{{quote|Sadly, yes.|Another post from the Bad Webcomics Wiki's Facebook Page, when told that Chris survived the fire.}}

{{quote|Words cannot adequately describe my '''utterly''' all-encompassing hatred and disgust for the grotesque entity that is Christian Weston Chandler. You Christian, are a shamelessly gruesome, inhuman monster. Everything you do and say only adds to your, almost incomprehensibly massive, list of atrocities. Were I to load up http://www.sonichu.com or some other Chris-Chan-related news source and saw that you finally died a death which properly corresponded to what you've inflicted upon this world, it would be the happiest day of my life.

Happiest. Day. Of. My. Life.|ephewe, on [[I Love You, Catherine]].}}

{{quote|Listen, you fat, autistic piece of shit. I've tolerated you so far because you're going to be my new neighbor, but this is the last straw. You traipse around your yard carrying blow up dolls and singing awkwardly, not to mention I can constantly hear you screaming at your mother. I am serious considering finishing cleaning this lot and selling this property to someone better equipped to handle someone like you. I was well within the city ordinances with this controlled brush burn. Also, if I see any other videos of me on my lot portraying me in a negative light, I will take up a libel suit with you.|Mac Slims, trying much too hard to pretend to be Chris's neighbor.}}

{{quote|God I fucking hate this piece of shit. I hope he dies.|JAZZ HANDS, on the [[26 December 2014|GameStop assault]] video.}}

{{quote|Why the fuck is he still alive!?

God, I mean, the guy looks ridiculous, he is also racist and an anti-social idiot that attacks people for no reason, and now he's a fucking burglar!? What's next, he will become the next Hitler?|Rafael Gutierrez, on the GameStop assault video.}}

{{quote|Yes people, THIS is the person Chris's trolls have been whiteknighting and pussing out on trolling because hes "had enough done to him" seriously, give me a break, this guy is an asshole and deserves anything that happens to him because its his OWN DAMN FAULT|TheMojoCorps, on the GameStop assault video.}}

{{quote|shut up you fatass faggot. go jump off a cliff and die.|Boner Dix, responding to a YouTube comment left by Chris}}

{{quote|Why can't this fucking freak of nature just die already?!!?!|Gogol ginn, on "The Best of Chris-Chan, Vol. 1"}}

{{quote|Someone strangle this fucker to death. Please.|Darkside780 on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]]}}

{{quote|I just saw a semi-censored version. WHO THE FUCK MAKES THESE KINDS OF VIDS? He's acting like a retard and at the same time running around naked. I wish this man a slow, painful, death. I don't care about the lulz he gives us. This man is disturbing,creepy, and should not be allowed to join society.|thesideshowman212 on [[CWCFlyingElephants]]}}

{{quote|Proof perfect that autists should be dumped in the nearest alligator pit when their condition becomes apparent.|GalVorbak on the [[Sign Destruction Video]]}}

{{Quote|<poem>Whatever happened to predictability?
This crazy manchild doing weird shit each week.
Now he's left the internet, someone tell me please,
When will he die so I can throw a party?
Bob's as mean as I've ever seen
and Barbara's still coddling him
We've manipulated him for so damn long,
He's like an autistic sim,
Every time you look (everywhere),
There's a tard (There's a tard),
A retard to bully,
Every time you look (everywhere)
There's that face (dead-eyed stare),
To troll and to annoy.</poem>|videogamenostalgia, on [[FullHouse]]}}

{{Quote|I'd like to see someone argue that all human beings are worthy of life after watching chris's videos|xXJakethesnake117Xx, on [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]}}

==See Also==
*[[Weening]], another type of failed trolling, and a key aspect of A-Logging

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Anthony_%27A-Log%27_LoGatto Anthony "A-Log" LoGatto on Encyclopedia Dramatica]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/GeorgieBoyReturns YouTube: The A-Log Archive]
*[http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2012/04/log-man-in-mirror.html An article from Forces of Geek about A-Log, and a more in-depth look on A-Logging.]
*[http://real-life-villains.wikia.com/wiki/Christian_Weston_Chandler A good example of A-Logging on some shitty wiki (also A-Log being called an "oppressed autistic internet celebrity")]

[[Category: Trolling]]

Sonichu Amiibo

2015-08-24T18:32:23Z

Caps Luna:

[[File:Amiibo5.jpg|right|thumb|200px|[[Chris]], proudly holding his new creations.]]
[[Wikipedia:Amiibo|'''Amiibo''']] are figurines which, when brought in physical contact with a [[Nintendo]] Wii U Gamepad or 3DS system, will add features or functions to a game. On 6 [[April 2015]], Chris unveiled his own custom [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] Amiibo for sale on [[eBay]]. He offered 10 for sale for $41 each. They [[White knight|sold out]] within 2 hours. Another batch of ten appeared on eBay on 3 [[June 2015]] and also sold out within a few days. His attempt the following month to sell a [[medallion]] with an Amiibo as a bundle deal did not work out so well, however. Undeterred, he introduced a [[Blake]] Amiibo in August.

==eBay Description==
The information and photos uploaded to his eBay page revealed that to create his custom Amiibo, he had bought a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] Amiibo, broke the limbs, repositioned them, glued them back on, and repainted them.

{{quotebox|Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), a Fresh reposed, coloured, strengthed and certified Sonichu Amiibo Figure. Sonichu is posed doing a Thunderpunching Sky Uppercut attack (his Up + B Special, if Sonichu was a playable character in Super Smash Bros.). It WILL be shipped in a sealed wrap marked "Fragile". My signature will be written on the backs each figure base. A Personal Certificate of Authenticity will be included with the figure. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist. These Figures have been personally assembled within the past month, and all are ready for quick shipment.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Disclaimer: the figure you receive may vary in a small detail or two, compared to the above photograph, but they all have been hand-reconfigured, painted and all that personally.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>The program chip in each base is a Sonic the Hedgehog Amiibo chip. All of these figures are still Unregistered and [[Virgin with rage|Virgin]] New; if you would like for me to level the figures up to the maximum level in Super Smash Bros. (3DS or WiiU), and include the random in-game items and money with them, please inform me under the "Special Instructions" section when checking out. Or send me a message after purchase. Otherwise, if left uninformed, I will be sending the figure to you Unregistered and Fresh there. I highly recommend going with the Yellow-Shoe alt-colour in-game choice when setting up your figure, to best represent Sonichu in the game(s). Compatible for Game Use, or Unlocks, in the following 3DS and WiiU Games: both Super Smash Bros. games, [[Mario Kart 8]], Hyrule Warriors, Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker, and Mario Party 10.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Also, the Metal Sticker has been removed from the base portion of the package, so the figure can be read while inside its package.

Everyone involved, including ALL Bidders, are bound by eBay's Terms and Regulations as stated therein, link below at bottom of this web page.

Discretion (As stated in the Comic Page image freshly added to the listing with few updates): ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, [[Cwcville]] and such material is [[Chris and copyright|Copyrighted]] March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, Pok'emon and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively, as well as everything Super Smash Bros, respectively. The piece that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Sonicu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork.}}

Chris also noted, "The figures were mint in package, but then physically remolded, repositioned and strengthened, then put into new packaging, as shown in the photos."

The photos:

<center><gallery>
File:Amiibo1.JPG
File:Amiibo2.JPG
File:Amiibo3.JPG
File:Amiibo4.JPG
</gallery></center>
Please note that these Amiibo figures cost $30 more than the official ones.

==Production costs==
It's worth noting that to produce each Sonichu Amiibo, Chris had to buy a Sonic Amiibo to repaint. In addition, rather than simply sculpting Sonichu's tail himself, he opted to cut the tails off of existing Pikachu Amiibos to glue them on (what he'll do with the army of tail-less Pikachus remains to be seen). The end result is that each Sonichu Amiibo uses both a Sonic and a Pikachu, doubling the cost of materials to $26 a pop. Between the base Amiibos, [[CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]], [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|acrylic paint]], eBay fees, shipping costs, and time and labor invested, it's not unreasonable to assume that Chris is making a miniscule profit, if not outright losing money with each Sonichu sold. This seems consistent with his [[Chris and money|general financial history]].

The newer Blake Amiibos, and presumably any other characters he brings to market, have even higher production costs. This is because Blake uses a ''Bowser'' Amiibo chip rather than the sonic or Pikachu chips that he would normally be built into the figure. Christian at least seems to be aware that using three Amiibos to construct one might be a bad idea, but production continued never the less.

==Facebook announcements==
[[File:Amiibo6.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's new cover photo.]]
On the same day, Chris posted an announcement on Facebook with a link to his eBay page. He uploaded a new photograph of himself which implied that [[Rosechu]] Amiibo were on the way. He also put up a new, relevant Facebook cover photo.
{{quotebox|Here's something different and good; a Sonichu Figure! And an Amiibo Figure at that! Personally created and Certified and packaged.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Unfortunately, due to the lowered listing allowance on my eBay, I am unable to list medallions this month. Please Leave Positive Feedback upon receipt after your individual purchases. Ten Figures are immediately available. Thank you, and have a good day.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>I forgot to mention, the Metal Sticker has been removed, so the figure can be read while still in its package. And Sonichu is posed doing a Thunderpunching Sky Uppercut attack (his Up + B Special, if Sonichu was a playable character in Super Smash Bros.).}}
[[File:SonichuAmiibo.jpg|thumb]]
The following day he clarified:

{{quotebox|My choice of which character goes into the base of my characters are relevant to their individual perspectives and whatnot. some of which are Rare ‪#‎Amiibo‬ characters at the moment as well. ‪#‎Sonichu‬'s choice is Sonic, out of respect. Pikachu is not as strong as ‪#‎Sonic‬ anyway. Tune in next week to hear ‪#‎Rosechu‬'s choice.}}

Simultaneously, Chris tied his new Amiibo with a desire to make Sonichu a downloadable character for the game Super Smash Bros, including a drawing of Sonichu holding his own Amiibo.

Upon announcing his second Amiibo listing in June 2015, he let his fans know that he had suffered for his art:

{{quotebox|
[[File:CutFromPocketKnife.jpg|150px|left|thumb]]
Seriously. I work diligently, tough-hard, lovingly, on each Sonichu Figure. To actually be able to Hand Repurpose, with minimal model magic usage, paint and personally, metaphorically, give birth, and certify, Actual Figures of my own personal main Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon character... It is plain incredible and simply awesome to me.

And I had a mishap when I started creation of this batch, on the morning of Wednesday, the 20th: I literally cut my left forefinger, near deep and bad, with a slip of my [[pocket knife]]. Fortunately, I had my last tetanus shot less than five years ago. I went to the emergency room; I had to get my finger numbed and stitched. They gauzed and splinted the finger; I've had to put up with that for nearly a week, during the healing and reapplication of antibiotic ointment and the band-aids and putting the gauze and splint back on. I just had the stitch removed this past Monday.

And now I am feeling crestfallen that over a day has passed from relisting the figures, right after completing them, and no one is buying them. What the hell?}}

In July, in response to the tepid response to his Amiibo/medallion bundle sets, Chris made a wide-ranging appeal, focusing not on the Amiibo as a product but on the character of Sonichu himself. He also reminded everyone that just as he had [[Father Call|pulled weeds]], he was putting a superhuman amount of effort into these figurines:

{{quotebox|I still have six Sonichu Figures and Medallions for sale on the listing.

Listen, everyone, I am aware that I, personally, am appreciated like a person celebrity. That is great and all. BUT, I do feel that Sonichu should get as much respect as y'all give me. Aside from the [[autism]] I wish I did not have, I still have poured a lot of the kind of person I was and am into his character (transgender not included either). And I understand and can see how he and his friends, family, and whatnot can be considered "fanfiction".

But Sonichu, the First and Prime Sonichu, is MORE than just a yellow colored Sonic; Sonichu is MORE than a tall Pikachu. He is an individual who from a lone mouse, became a Sweetheart, a loyal friend, a lover, a caring type, a family hedgehog, a better than fast speed superhero type, a leader and a teammate who works with his team, and saves the day and helps around at home and in town. He is self-confident with awareness to his strengths, weaknesses and limits, humble, stays to fight when appropriate; a good soul and individual.

Sonic the Hedgehog; did he become a family hedgehog with Amy Rose or Sally Acorn? NO. Is Sonic a totally loyal, loving and caring type? Yes and No; he was loyal and caring of his friends, including the ladies and girls, but he is soo the "Love 'em and Leave 'em type, reluctant to heartfelt affections, and he is still afraid of commitment. Not only that, but SEGA is sending him spiraling down the drain with RUSHED Final Products, and offensive changes to him. I would not change, or allow change onto, Sonichu's physical characteristics. And I would want the final games and animations, should I be partnered with someone Official and Legitimate to create them, to Not be Rushed; Quality is Good to me.

And Pikachu, the one with Ash; no better than a wild or trained type of animal. Sonichu was wild, but domesticated himself with Rosechu and everyone else. Sonichu has a stronger Defense and Attack than Pikachu; faster too. And Sonichu has more story potential with his life. Pikachu is a lot of going wherever Ash goes, shadowed by him most of the time, and a lot of "attack and win or lose"; so trite. No contest: Sonichu wins the Pokémon battle.

Plus, not only can the Amiibo figure be used in Smash Bros and unlock things in other games, but as a figure, you can imagine him going into battle and sending a thunderpunching sky uppercut for the win.

I spend Hours locating the figure resources, sorting out the pieces, disassembling portions, Krazy glued some, painted, added and solidified the portions with Model Magic and more K-glue, putting them together, label them, certifying them, package them... ALL Hand Worked to the end; I end up with Krazy glue on my fingers and end up gnawing the dried portions off. I put a LOT of Time, Effort, Heart and Soul into Each Individual Figure. An I am improving the packaging quality to make sure they each do not fall apart in transit. And I need the funds from the sales to help pay the bills here at home and better.

My Crafts are Hand-Made Soul Pieces, and hand-made usually have the good charm and quality in each of them, and they are Collectible. Think about it.}}
[[File:Amiibo.jpg|thumb|350px|right|Chris's other Amiibo]]
Even this plea couldn't move product, unfortunately, and he was forced to lower the price.

==Blake Amiibo==
Over the months, Chris made more Amiibo based on his comic characters. At first he doubted that he would be able to bring them to market. As he explained on Facebook:<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Amiibo Expenses]]</ref>

{{quotebox|The reason I am hesitant on offering figures of the rest of my electric-hedgehog Pokémon, is because of possible, past undetermined, higher costs to make each of them. In particular, [[Angelica]] needs not only Pit's figure's chip, but the wings as well. Little Mac is extremely rare, and Ness is rare too. It takes three figures to make up Blake and [[Magi-Chan]] figures.}}

He also whined about "the return of the [[Sonic Boom Protests|blue arm bandits behind these Sonic Booms]] occupying our minds and [[stress|stressing]] me."<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Magi-Chan in Super Smash Bros.]]</ref>

Nevertheless, he overcame these obstacles, and in August announced on Facebook that he was offering ten [[Blake]] Amiibo for sale. Because of higher production costs, he jacked up the price to $50.

<center><gallery>
File:8-12FacebookB.jpg|The Facebook announcement photo.
File:EbayBlakeA.JPG
File:EbayBlakeB.JPG
File:EbayBlakeC.JPG
File:EbayBlakeD.JPG
</gallery></center>

For the Blake Amiibo product description on eBay, he simply made superficial edits to the Sonichu Amiibo description. Half-assing it as usual, he neglected to delete references to Sonichu, and he STILL referred to himself as "Christian," demonstrating how seriously he takes his female identity.

{{quotebox|
Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), a Fresh reposed, coloured, strengthed and certified Blake Sonichu Amiibo Figure. Blake is posed in a fighter-style, right arm flexed, and looking down his left arm at his opponent threateningly. It WILL be shipped in a sealed wrap marked "Fragile". My signature will be written on the backs each figure base. A Personal Certificate of Authenticity will be included with the figure These Figures have been personally assembled within the past month, and all are ready for quick shipment.

NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Disclaimer: the figure you receive will vary in a small detail or two, compared to the above photograph, but they all have been hand-reconfigured, painted and all that personally.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>The program chip in each base is a Bowser Amiibo chip. All of these figures are still Unregistered and Virgin New; if you would like for me to level the figures up to the maximum level in Super Smash Bros. (3DS or WiiU), and include the random in-game items and money with them, please inform me under the "Special Instructions" section when checking out. Or send me a message after purchase. Otherwise, if left uninformed, I will be sending the figure to you Unregistered and Fresh there. I highly recommend going with the Yellow-Shoe alt-colour in-game choice when setting up your figure, to best represent Sonichu in the game(s). Compatible for Game Use, or Unlocks, in the following 3DS and WiiU Games: both Super Smash Bros. games, Mario Kart 8, Hyrule Warriors, Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker, Mario Party 10, and more titles to come.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Also, the Metal Sticker has been removed from the base portion of the package, so the figure can be read while inside its package.

Everyone involved, including ALL Bidders, are bound by eBay's Terms and Regulations as stated therein, link below at bottom of this web page.

Discretion (As stated in the Comic Page image freshly added to the listing with few updates): ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, Pok'emon and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively, as well as everything Super Smash Bros, respectively. The piece that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Sonicu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork.}}

Three days after the offer, since he had sold exactly zero, Chris threw in an [[Autographed Photos|autographed photo]] and edited the description to read:

{{quotebox|All of these figures have beel leveled up to the maximum level in Super Smash Bros. (3DS or WiiU), and include the max amount of random in-game items and money with them.}}

He also deleted the reference to Sonichu at this time.

==Received Amiibo==
While Chris has not yet received negative feedback on eBay for these items (in part because of the threat that crossing the Great Director Chandler can result in [[Medallions#The Mr. Smith Situation|public doxxing]]), the quality of those received has been less than spectacular. On one of them, the tail and right ear had come off in transit, despite Chris's order to the U.S. Mail, "THIS SIDE UP." The "Certificate of Authenticity" read:

{{quotebox|This Certificate verifies the authenticity of the accompanying Sonichu/Rosechu Amiibo Figure from Christian/Christine Weston Chandler. The Signature on this document attests that she alone, full of heart, soul and efforts in reposing the figure, painting and gluing and all other specific detailings on the figure, and external of the base.}}

<center><gallery>
File:RecdAmiibo8.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo1.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo3.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo6.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo10.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo4.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo5.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo2.jpg
File:RecdAmiibo7.jpg
</gallery></center>

Another Amiibo arrived essentially broken in half:
{{quotebox|
[[File:RecdAmiibo9.jpg|left|150px|thumb]]}}
The recipient stated, "the head is off, the tail is off, and one of the ears came off where he had just wrapped the modeling clay around sonic's existing ear. no glue or anything." He also noted that Chris had attempted to reseal the package with double-sided tape, which had collected dust and grime.<ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fb-4-6-sonichu-amiibo-for-sale.8808/page-17#post-650310]</ref>

A contributor on Chris's old stomping grounds, [[Keep Sonic Original]], posted two images of his received Amiibo:

{{quotebox|
[[File:3rdAmiibo.jpg|thumb|150px]]
[[File:3rdAmiibo2.jpg|thumb|150px]]}}

While he said it was "worth every single cent," he noted that both the ears and the tail were broken off.<ref>[https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1563772267236048&set=gm.1567543786831201&type=1&theater]</ref>

A user on Reddit posted images of another received Amiibo with a broken tail. It arrived with instructions on how to take care of the "medallion."

{{quotebox|
[[File:Amiibo 15 A.png|thumb|150px]]
[[File:Amiibo 15 B.jpg|thumb|150px]]}}

An Australian recipient took the time to make an in-depth snarky review highlighting the shit condition of the item:

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Amiibo Review
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vRQFAPEvIKA}}
| stardate = 17 [[April 2015]]
| maker = [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcvytGl8wpGddafLQh9DPGA VN Reader]
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

A purchaser of the Amiibo/medallion package set posted an unboxing video:

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SONICHU AMIIBO FIGURE & SONICHU MEDALLION UNBOXING
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HP5HANhgZaU}}
| stardate = 31 [[July 2015]]
| maker =
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

==Fan Videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Smash 4 Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gXsTKUXrK98}}
| stardate = 22 [[March 2015]]
| maker = SmackaDerp
| subject =
| type =
| info = }}

==References==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:EBay]]

White knight

2015-04-07T15:29:31Z

Caps Luna:

{{Articleofthenow}}
 
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|[[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]], "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on [[the internet]] to help or defend someone else against other people, out of pity, compassion or [[Sex|ulterior motives]]. White knighting of [[Chris]] is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

In the broader internet trolling community a wide range of people, ranging from neutral observers to even his greatest trolls, are accused of being white knights. This is mostly due to CWC's "fans" discouraging [[Weening]] and [[A-Logging]], an acts which, to outside observers, could be misinterpreted as an attempt to reduce trolling. Many of these outside observers are also confused by the tendency of Chris trolls, including his most [[Vivian Gee|prolific]] [[Clyde Cash|ones]], to try to get Chris to improve his life, as they don't know Chris well enough to know he won't improve. So when the word "White Knight" get thrown around, take it with a grain of salt.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lolcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, [[/cwc/]], [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Homos|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict Blanca, and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he's never "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, BlueSpike's sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. The [[JULAAAY|less sophisticated]] bulk of the trolling was the work of [[A-Logging|A-Logs]] and [[weens]], who are frowned upon even by trolls, and rightfully so. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
All Chris had to do to end the trolling was to stop responding to it. If he would have done this small step, he never would've got all this attention from the internet. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; they just decided he was a worthy target after reading his [[Sonichu (comic)|crappy ''Sonichu'' comics]] and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting [[12 October 2009|videos of himself throwing fits]] on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolls calling his cell phone, sending him mail, and following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention.

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately after this, he started talking about a sexy dance. And eight months later, he was filmed enjoying some [[Long Island Iced Tea]].

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After hearing that he caused [[Ryan Cash]] to die, Chris marvelled at the fact that he had incited suicide, right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When he heard that he made [[Sarah May]] attempt suicide, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. People who have had to deal with suicidal people, or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides wouldn't exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris only said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people, but Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. While Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he has never done anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders, and whom he eventually dismissed anyway.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref>

After he [[26 December 2014|maced a GameStop employee and said it made him feel "badass"]], a deeply concerned troll going by the name Renee tried to convince him to go to see a psychiatrist. In response, Chris took this as a personal insult, and wished "Renee" and her boyfriend a slow demise in a house fire. Not only does this demonstrate that Chris holds his ego in higher esteem than his mental health, but it is also quite staggering that he would wish death in a fire upon someone ''after he narrowly escaped the same fate''. Moreover, it is worth noting that Chris remembered that Renee had told him in the past that she already had a boyfriend. Compare his reaction to this well-meaning request by Renee, to his compliance with bizarre requests from, say, Jackie. This shows that regardless of who you are or what you want to say, Chris only cares to listen to you if you have a [[china]] and aren't already taken.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality, even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests. He has been held accountable for his own actions in a court of law, twice (and rightfully so). His racism, homophobia, and chauvinism have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. From "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]" to "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping...trollin' stupid pickle-suited...'''nigger'''!]]"]]

Chris often reacts to provocation aggressively, which is quite an understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this sense doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris's opinions, asking him why he does what he does, or as evidenced above, trying to expose him to reality can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] things. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris has [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented the now-defunct store and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by ED, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris has sexually harassed [[Megan|two]] [[Catherine|women]] in real life. The former made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill manchild and would become his [[sweetheart from the ground-up]]. He ''bragged'' to the latter about how he learned to keep his hands to himself after the fallout with Megan, then buried his face in her breasts.

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to his ED page, he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, ''him''. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor.

Years later, Chris would even go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him. On 3 and 4 October 2013, he took this even further, posting [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|an unbelievable multi-part tirade]] about Megan on Facebook, wherein he accused her of being the leader of a vast troll conspiracy against him and claimed to have consorted with a '''''[[Chris and reality|fictional]] [[Megagi La Skunk|character]]''''' Megan once made for him, who supposedly told Chris that Megan should never have been born. As if this wasn't enough insanity on it's own, Chris proceeded to demand that Megan fix his entire life, and he, in return, would give back her confiscated superpowers. You just can't make this up.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego just keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool is probably the ''only'' genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally disabled. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding whatever damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''. SonichuIzCool didn't step down, and responded back with a video that criticized his actions. To date, Chris has never issued a response to that, thus meaning he was dismantled by a slow-in-the-mind.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and terrorists'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the World Trade Center towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the Twin Tower images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a "fan" named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|"expert"]], encouraged him to do so. When "Mike" got back to him, the news wasn't good; Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and the seemingly bereft father begged Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Chris was next contacted by Mike's "wife", who told him that after discovering that Mike Jr. married the prostitute in Las Vegas, Mike Sr. died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's widow, offering her his infamous canned response in lieu of even pretending to give a fuck, then later responded to Mike's son's grief and anger with all of three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]] When called out later, he said he couldn't even remember Mike, much less read his obituary. While this was all obviously trolling, Chris's nonchalant reaction to his hypothetically ruining someone's life and tearing their family apart doesn't exactly paint him in a good light.

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|random video games]] he'll never play, and even DLC for ''games he doesn't own''. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]]. He's never going to get a job now, of course - what with his various run-ins with the law, his growing local reputation for public tantrums and violence, his social security, and the fact that he's in his thirties, and has only been employed for a month or so in his entire life, over a decade ago - but he missed a lot of opportunities while it was still possible. Had he made the right choices, he could've been on a career path and out of his ancestral cesspool by now.

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to accept the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the false assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |Chris.<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of a mess that he caused is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later. Also, in 2013, [[Facebook#I_have_had_more_freedom_when_my_father_was_alive|he further hammers this point home]] by complaining about having to take care of Barb with Bob's passing, concerned more about his free time and Michael Snyder taking his money away.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own [[honest content]] than being a good net citizen. On the internet, his demeanor is comparable to that of a spammer: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which is generally tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would at least not make deliberate efforts to hinder them. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway, yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam, excessive trolling, and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to the site to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. Thoughts of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on the CWCipedia provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 20 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight E-mails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculously: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

If you ever get some free time, read Vivian Gee's AIM chat. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that PandaHalo was a troll. Chris fell for Panda anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense into him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In her words:

{{quote|i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try.|Vivian, thoroughly summing up how it feels to try to smack some sense into Chris.}}

Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to the woman who was once his biggest defender ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Blanca was the name of more than a few trolls, and Chris fell for it.
* PandaHalo was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite Vivian's warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire video game development company, and Chris fell for it.
* Sarah May was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Julie was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* Ivy was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real-life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[Liquid Chris]].
** [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]
* [[Catherine]] was both an internet troll and a pseudonym used by a real-life female troll, and Chris fell for it and even went as far to ''molest'' her.

See a pattern here? Back in the day, Chris would've simply dismissed any attempt to open his eyes to the obvious as an attempt to "ruin his relationship/business partnership for the lulz".

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of [[Autism|sheer paranoia]], he believes that anybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp10.png]]</ref> and everybody<ref>[[:File:Fbp6.png]]</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>[[:File:Koreans.PNG]]</ref>.

Surprisingly, even in [[2014]], it was revealed that his latest girlfriend, Catherine, was a troll construct. While [[CWCki Forums|the community observing Chris]] are [[Trolls#Today|no longer impressed]] by such [[weening]], it still shows that even after more than 6 years of trolls leading him around by his [[duck]], Chris has learned absolutely nothing.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do some ''bizarre'' things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be out of the ordinary.

The things Chris achieves when left to his own devices are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His previous brushes with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|creepy]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that backfires without fail. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and [[Recycling|lewd acts]] are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom went so far as to tell him to go kill himself. Whatever the trolls say or do to Chris, he always does or says something worse to someone else, and he always bounces back anyway, so what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris has made himself an outcast===
High school and college are where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's autistic. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his loitering and soliciting were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are Jerkops, that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given far more leeway than most people ever would have been given, out of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He has been offered friendship and care time and again, and every time without fail, either drives his friends away with his entitlement and perverse, bellicose behaviors, or dismisses them for trying to get him to behave like a responsible adult. Complain as he might, his own actions put him here, and while the realisation and acceptance of this may change the situation, he refuses to do either. Try as they might, neither white knights nor trolls have the power to save Chris from his own delusions and cognitive dissonance, only he does.

===The stresses of white-knighting===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. Most have to lie and pretend to be a single girl to even capture his attention. This, combined with Chris's habit of pushing away anyone who tries to connect with him, is enough to make any sane non-psychologist crash into slumber.

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his address will be left unread and deleted. Even back in the days of the [[Mailbag]], any emails submitted to it, if they even got published, would've been [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit, and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant manchildren flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unconsciously attract new trolls to take their place, and we all know weens are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after Barbara dies, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his monthly tugboat and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real-life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris ends up in prison, he will be trolled there as well, if he's lucky.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[JERKS|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that Christorians still find especially impressive, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a thoroughly-kicked autistic.

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing vidya and occasionally drawing unsellable art until Barb died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that, without exaggeration, is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as [[wikipedia:Time Cube|Gene Ray]] and [[wikipedia:John Titor|John Titor]], and unlike Gene, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris's interactions with the world through his websites and YouTube have drawn in a considerable number of people from around the world who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over Earth, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving--the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a [[Cakefarts|stiffy]] just to consider. His internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and ''may'' bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study and document his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow, even if he generally opts out of doing either. Instead of being an unemployable, fat bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an internet-famous unemployable, fat bedroom dweller, and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, possibly appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could even [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|become the next William Hung]] if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

In fact, recently, Chris was paid by a Japanese noise band (albeit a really obscure one) to produce artwork for their album cover (that didn't feature Sonichu or himself for a change). This is but a taste of what he could achieve if he had the common sense to stop his [[Sonic Boom Protests|crusade against a cartoon character's arms]] (and landing himself in court over it) and instead focus on expressing and coming to terms with his problems through his art, or at least doing something productive that he's arguably good at (i.e. outsider art).

Also, Chris's perversions, flaws and constant failure have made his life into something of a cautionary tale to other autistic people, and he has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] of them to self-improvement. Really, no matter how dire his circumstances come to be, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO|his own self-loathing]].

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email, get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his so-called "fans" much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans, and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His Mailbag is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When, or if, he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] had no audio on it whatsoever. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic, and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them, some less, some more, some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris' upbringing doesn't justify his actions===
The shitty way [[Borb]] raised him may be an ''explanation'' for why Chris is so fucked up, but it's not an ''excuse''. Plenty of people have bad childhoods, and abusive or incompetent parents. However, these people don't use that as an excuse for whatever bad things they do. As these people get therapy and move on, Chris, on the other hand, remains dependent on the same people who screwed him up, and doesn't even try to move past his childhood. Instead, he escapes into a world of fantasy and pornography, and when confronted by reality, he will use all the mental gymnastics at his disposal to twist reality to seem how he wants it to seem. There's also the fact that [[Cole Smithey]] grew up in the same household with the same parents, and yet he lives a relatively normal, successful life. Meanwhile, Chris behaves like an overgrown child, draws art on par with that of elementary schoolers, stuffs his face with fast food, gets in trouble for his persistent failure to regulate his behaviour in public, and generally is extremely antisocial.

===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
Today, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years has doubtless contributed to his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for almost everyone), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast, as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and led him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while he sits around playing with toys and video games instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of his half-brother. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look how well that's working out for him.

True to his word ([[Lies|for once]]), Chris all but abandoned the Internet between [[July 2012]] and [[2013]], save for sporadic ramblings on Facebook. Despite this, quite a bit was revealed about how well he was doing independent of troll influence. He [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|alienated himself from his church]], earning a ban from the new pastor (undoubtedly because Chris wouldn't shut the hell up about the trolls). After being banned, he even dismissed Rocky as an effective counselor (keep in mind that Rocky once bailed him out of jail, which is quite an extraordinary act of kindness, counselor or not), and went so far as to accuse [[Chris and religion|God]] of being a troll. He continues to this day to describe his life as isolated and lonely, with nobody willing to talk to him, a scenario many have tried and failed to warn him about. He even earned some ire from Anna, his biggest white knight for [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|making anti-homosexual statements]] on his Facebook page, he even chose to argue with her instead of trying to piece together why a lesbian friend of his would find such statements offensive. As a coup de grace on all of this, Chris ended up trolling himself in the grandest fashion by revealing an [[Facebook#Imgur|Imgur account]] made of all of his previously hidden Facebook posts, despite trolls (save for the one who started it) being completely in the dark about it.

Even if all of that doesn't convince you for some reason, consider this: Chris came ''this'' close to being thrown in jail on [[28 October 2011]], and it's possible he'll end up there at last with the more recent [[26 December 2014]] incident, both of which involved the assault of innocent retail workers trying to protect their customers from him. Both times, he did this on his own initiative, with no prodding from the trolls. And make no mistake, '''everyone''' was thoroughly disgusted by Chris's actions, none were eager to defend his pepper-spray assault on an innocent employee, even those who helped support his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] before.

If we were to be extraordinarily generous and assume that none of the disasters which have befallen Chris since the trolling efforts began in earnest would otherwise have happened, the facts ''still'' indicate that Chris's life would have been a complete mess. Chris was discovered by the internet at large in late 2007, by which point he had already been suspended from college, and banned from the [[Fashion Square]] (twice), along with his local branches of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], only avoiding criminal charges for the ruckus he caused at the latter because the state didn't feel it was worth the effort to pursue the case. As recently as two months before the "official" start of the trolling of Chris, he was making death threats against Adam Stackhouse and his preteen sister, for the former's unwitting disruption of Chris's plan to lose his virginity with Megan, something that she had made clear she had no interest in doing. It may be a depressing conclusion to arrive at, but there's never been anything that anyone outside of the confines of 14 Branchland Court could have reasonably done to prevent Chris's life from being a trainwreck.

===Chris's white knights are making him worse===
A quick glance at the comments on his Facebook statuses should confirm this. Even after he ''committed a felony'' by assaulting a GameStop employee with pepper spray on Boxing Day 2014, and then posted a long-winded, obviously dishonest tirade painting himself as an innocent victim on Facebook, none of his white knights offered anything more than a softly-worded, mild condemnation of his behavior. Some avoided a direct response altogether, and made some barely relevant comment that conspicuously avoided the main point of Chris's self-serving drivel, probably a feeble and misguided attempt to defuse his [[Chris and anger|rage]].

And this is how his white knights react whenever he gets angry about having to face the consequences of his own behavior. It's painfully clear to Chris's trolls and other observers that his white knights are woefully ill-equipped to deal with Chris. The reactions his tantrums garner from them clearly indicate that they remain ignorant (passively or otherwise) to facts that most learned long ago; namely, that the "soft touch" has never worked with Chris, and only serves to reinforce his [[Chris and reality|belief]] that [[Chris and his Ego|he should be given whatever he desires]] (It's even getting to the point that he is openly stating that he is ''entitled'' to a girlfriend.), and allowed to do as he pleases, while [[Barbara Chandler|others]] shield him from the [[Chris and the Law|negative repercussions]].

Chris's white knights also habitually feed Chris's belief that his trolls are subhuman bullies who want to see him destroyed in every conceivable way. While this is true of [[A-Logging|so]][[Weening|me]], for the most part, Chris's trolls are just as interested in seeing Chris improve himself as white knights are, if not moreso, even if many are beginning to doubt such a thing is possible. Indeed, many of the female troll personas who "date" or "befriend" Chris have tried to help him see the error of his ways and reform, and continue to do so. It is partially due to the influence of Chris's white knights, who foolishly (and often futilely) try to root out these trolls, that these attempts to help Chris never result in lasting, positive change on his part.

In short, most of Chris's white knights are attention whores, sycophants or both. To these people, going on a witch-hunt for trolls is preferable to actually trying to help Chris, something which, ironically, even Chris's trolls continue to try to do.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and Panda. She also released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the [[CWCville Library]]'s original curator, Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends, forgetting the fact that BlueSpike ''has no friends''.

===White Knights on Facebook===

In recent times (since 2012), Chris has taken to using Facebook as his main means of expressing himself. Inevitably, this has not only attracted the attention of trolls, but, in 2013, a slew of White Knights as well, in particular, a [[William Elliott Waterman]], who taunted the trolls to come after him instead of Chris ''('''Spoiler:''' Nobody did, because nobody actually cared what he had to say.)'' Anna and [[Kim]] are two of the most notable ones on his friends list, both of whom try to offer constructive advice whenever Chris nosedives into a rant...when they're not busy kissing his ass, especially in the case of Anna.

However, as we've come to expect of Chris, anybody who tells him something he doesn't want to hear are people that needed to be brushed off until they stop saying those mean, awful things to him. A good case in point is his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|anger-laced tirade in September 2013, when he got thrown out of Walmart and started calling names]]. The white knights typically chimed in with their support...''until'' he revealed that he [[Chris and the law|vandalized]] an Xbox One display in the store. Several of them then told Chris that this was not right of him to do, and that the manager had every right to throw him out. His response to that?

{{quote|They do not.
And if they do, they are most in the wrong, [[Chris and reality|because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever]].|- Chris's response to Chris Rhodes}}

===White Knights in Real Life===

Aside from the most obvious example, an old classmate of Chris from [[Manchester High School]] came online and attempted to defend Chris. Once [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|certain details]] became known, however, said classmate quickly backpedaled on this once he realized that the majority of [[CWCki|what happened]] was Chris' own fault.

===TV Tropes===
The TV Tropes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Sonichu article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. It was eventually removed due to TV Tropes' website policy changing later on--in other words, said message would no longer be allowed on the website. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do gets you thrown in prison or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question fails to realize that their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]]

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any old e-friend can reach Chris at this point and change him for the better, certainly not by continuing to ass-pat and pamper him, which is precisely what fucked him up so badly in the first place (as this wiki evidences copiously). Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls, for daring to tell him anything he does not want to hear. With each new incident he causes, it is increasingly obvious that little short of [[Chris and psychology|professional intervention]], the [[Chris and religion|intercession of]] [[GodJesus]], or a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|horrifyingly close brush with death]] will change him.

Though the trolls have certainly tried to be a positive influence on Chris, even they are now largely admitting that Chris is well beyond our aid. They have spent years trying to pierce Chris's many insulating layers of self-deceit, egotism and sheer stubbornness. It is worth bearing in mind that it is these people, not the white knights, that are the closest thing he has to friends, and that some of them have been at this for nearly a decade. With all the never-to-be-released material they're sitting on, they ''know'' him, and if they can't make Chris change, what on earth makes you think you can?

To conclude, with Chris's paranoia, detachment from reality, outlandish behavior and bellicosity all becoming steadily more severe, and with interventions by trolls and white knights alike failing, the best we can hope for is that Chris causes some sort of trouble that leads to him receiving the help he needs.

==See also==
*[[A-Logging]]
*[[Weening]]
*[[White knight E-mails]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

BlueSpike

2015-02-25T19:21:22Z

Caps Luna:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Sweethearts</s> Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:JULAYYYYYYYY.PNG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |BlueSpike
|-
|'''Real name'''
|David
|-
| '''Alias'''
| LeonSpike Julie Milvana Max Milvana
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| c. 1996
|-
| '''Gender'''
| <s>Female</s> Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| [[Trolls|Troll]]
|-
|}
Most thirteen-year-old boys only dream of getting to watch an [[autistic]] [[Chris|manchild]] shove pieces of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] up his ass. '''BlueSpike''' (AKA '''LeonSpike''', "a 13 year old brat" according to Chris) got to live that dream, when he [[troll]]ed Chris through two identities: a [[sweetheart]] '''Julie''' (aka '''JULAAAY''') and her brother '''Max'''.

The trolling caused events such as Chris admitting to Julie that he had tried [[sex toys|anal beads and a dildo]], the infamous [[sex tape]] where he fucks [[Kimmi]], a description of a future scene from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] alluding to his [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]], how Chris hates everything that's not Aryan, his [[Bob Walks In|father walking in]] to him [[mass debating]], and other sick shit.

In [[August 2011]], Chris claimed to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name '''David''') and threatened to drop dox on him. 4 years later, he still has not returned the promise.

==Julie==
[[Image:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|thumb|left|100px|What Chris believed Julie looked like.]]

{{quote|I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.|Chris on Julie.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!!|Chris professes his undying love while humping a [[Kimmi|doll]].}}

'''Julie Milvana'''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref> (born 13 July 1989<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]]</ref>) was a [[Molvanîa]]n Methodist<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> [[Sonichu]] fan who became Chris's sweetheart after [[PandaHalo]]. Her kidnap by her evil brother Max led to Chris's ill-fated [[Ohio trip|rescue mission]] to Cleveland.

Julie first showed up in IRC in December [[2008]], suggesting the infamous [[Tour of Chris's House]] video.<ref>[[IRC (15 December 2008)]]</ref> She later posed a ton of ''Sonichu'' questions submitted by fans.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> She was later invited to [[Sonichu Girls]]. As early as 3 [[January 2009]], she asked Chris what he would do if a [[JERK]] kidnapped his [[heartsweet]] - he said, ''"I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back."'' Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.<ref>[[IRC (04 January 2009)]]</ref> Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs]]</ref>

Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref>

When Chris chose [[Sarah May]] over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly [[Autism|went back to talking about vidya]].<ref name="a">[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref>

Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009 video]] admitting that he was gay.<ref name="a" />

Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a [[:File:LetterfromJulie(1of2).jpg|letter]] written by Julie, the first physical [[:File:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|proof]] of her "existence". In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris.

That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded [[LittleBigPlanet|an ''LBP'' level]], and Chris and Julie took their relationship to the next level with cybersex. Bob walked in, and the rest is history. Chris's parents didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.<ref>[[Bob Walks In Aftermath]]</ref>

In an infamous video on 20 [[February 2009]], Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's agonized cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" would prove one of the most striking and memorable of CWC-isms; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi ''is'' Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

{{clear}}

==Max==
[[Image:Anon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The mysterious Max.]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no [[pickle]]s on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a [[Sonic]] Drive-In.]]

Max was the evil, mysterious brother of Julie who held her against her will. On 26 February 2009, Chris valiantly traveled to [[Ohio trip|Ohio]] in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral.)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly [[black]] woman.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13]]</ref>

{{Main|Julie Reveals Herself}}

On 3 [[March 2009]], Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session he threatened to sell the PSN account and forbade Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed [[Sonichu medallion]] up his ass while shouting "Zap to the extreme!" before he was allowed to speak to Julie as seen in the video below, at which point Julie admits that both she and Max have been BlueSpike, a 13-year-old boy in league with Clyde Cash. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly two million hits). BlueSpike's female voice is an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more hilarious that it worked so well on Chris.

This incident shattered both his [[heart level]] and his anus to 0%.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|1xo3SAwefBM}}
</center>

{{-}}

==Encyclopedia Dramatica Troll War==
[[Image:Advicespikemedallion.png|thumb|right|Kids say the darndest things.]]

On 5 [[March 2009]], an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan [[ED]] discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to ruse Chris into the further milking of [[lulz]]. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

{{quote|If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. "hey, they made fun of YOU for doing sonic recolours?, look at this guy!". "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde/Mayes. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible in channel once. You know its not going to be pizza's at 1am, and you know its not a fucking cat. If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?|Wit, ED user}}

Most of the trolling did involve BlueSpike having phone sex with Chris for hours each night, disgustingly listening to the guy [[mass debate|fap]]. <ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E&feature=channel_page>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E</ref> <ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E</ref>  As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy phone sex and listened to Chris very loudly jack off. Draw your own conclusions about BlueSpike's sexuality. One fap session did produce the epically hilarious [[Bob Walks In|event]] when [[Bob Chandler]] became the Internet Lumberjack.

Today, most trolls tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, though some yearn to return to the sadist days of BlueSpike in hopes of an age of trolling where [[A-Logging|physical pain is inflicted upon Chris]].

While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling had virtually no evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had no trouble believing that he had found another [[Ivy|sweetheart]] online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having instant-messenger sex with a [[Vanessa Hudgens|world-famous celebrity]]. The main effect it did have was that although Chris remade a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 [[July 2009]].

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]], from an offhand comment Cash made in [[Mumble 12]]. On [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his version of the ED page]], Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "[[Transformers|Starscream]]" Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later [[Car Pranks|revealed to be a complete and utter bluff]]. Chris himself no longer believes BlueSpike is dead, as is evident from the [[BlueSpike#Called out|video Chris directed at him on August 2011]].

==Called out==
On 23 [[August 2011]], [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris claimed]] to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name '''David''') and threatened to drop dox on him unless he made an apology video BY 15 [[September 2011]] in which he left the Internet forever and told people to stop making [[prank calls]] calling Chris "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"JULAAAAAAAAYYY!"]]. So far, BlueSpike has not yet responded.

While Chris has not revealed BlueSpike's true identity, there are reasons to suspect it is the lolcow known as [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Nesshelper Nesshelper]. The picture Chris presented as BlueSpike's real photo appears to be a closeup of [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/File:Davidharlow.jpg this picture]. Chris's comment about BlueSpike's love for big rooms might be a reference to a [http://vimeo.com/21478293 video rant] in which Nesshelper complains about the size of a hotel room in which he was staying.

Its worth mentioning that it is currently unknown where Chris received the information he used in the calling out videos, including Bluespike's. It almost guaranteed that Chris was prompted by a white knight or more likely a troll to make the videos, as finding the identity of the real Jack Thadeus is likely far beyond Chris's detective abilities. Chris could have easily been fed false information about Bluespike's identity as part of a grander trolling scheme.
==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
*[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]
*[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
*[[Julie Reveals Herself]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B3D68D552646B0AD BlueSpike's infamous conversation with Chris]

{{Trolls}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

Biological clock

2015-01-08T20:58:10Z

Caps Luna:

'''Biological clock''' is the [[CWC-ism]] that [[Chris]] uses to refer to his [[Wikipedia:circadian rhythm|circadian rhythm]] (his sleeping pattern). Although this is technically not an incorrect use of the term, [[Wikipedia:Biological clock|biological clock]] is almost exclusively used to refer to a woman's child-bearing years, so Chris just sounds (even more) stupid when he yammers on about fixing his biological clock. Chris most likely confused the term "internal clock" (which does refer to circadian rhythms) with the term for female child baring years. One of Chris's reasons for needing a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]] is to fix his biological clock. Chris's infatuation with [[Ivy]] can be traced to the fact that she vaguely helped Chris have a normal, set sleeping pattern.

He first explained his sleep habits in an edit on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article:
{{quote|YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from [[My Coke Rewards|Coca-Cola]] to [[Wikipedia:Pepsi|Pepsi]] to [[Wikipedia:Powerade|Powerade]]. I have a lot of stored [[Wikipedia:caffeine|caffeene]] [''sic''] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking biological clock as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a [[Sweetheart]], so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my [[Manchester High School|High School years]]. Fucking [[Adult Swim]](tm) and [[mass debating|random projects]] keep me up all night as well.|Chris, 11 [[2007#November|November 2007]]. <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</s></ref> (Note that Powerade is not a soda and contains no caffeine.)}}

He is oblivious to the fact that the real reason he used to sleep during the night in high school is that he used to actually have some reason to get up in the morning. Parents (and college students) know that it's common for schoolchildren during the summer to get their sleep patterns messed up because they now can "stay up as late as they want." Since leaving [[PVCC]], Chris has had no job, few friends, and no life outside of [[mass debating]], making up things involving [[Sonichu]], and his [[Love Quest]], allowing him ample free time to stay up all night drinking [[Navy|caffeine]]. Yet, despite never leaving the house (thus negating the purpose of a standard sleep cycle), he seems to think that it's a perfectly valid excuse for not uploading comics on schedule.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call #2]]</ref>

Chris's nocturnal habits during much of the [[2000s]] appear to be the primary reason that "Attraction Time" during his [[Love Quest]] occurred in the mid-to-late afternoon. On 23 [[April 2012]] Chris wrote that "I knew I was gone for too long [from [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]], but my internal clock kept me awake at night... and prohibited me from being a day person",<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#April 23]]</ref> suggesting that his irregular sleep schedule has caused him to be absent from his church for a considerable period of time.

==Uses by Chris==
* Chris mentions his biological clock (without explaining what he means) in one of his e-mails to [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]]. This is the first recorded instance of his use of the term.
* For some reason, the biological clock became a major element of Chris's relationship with [[Ivy]]. He thanks her for "fixing" it in [[CWC Update 9 April 2009]], [[A CWC Audition]], and [[Chris Sings Lovin' You]], as well as the bizarre dream-sequence page about their romance in [[Episode 19|Episode #19]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]. He also mentioned this in his AIM chats with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia userpage]].
* Chris mentioned his broken biological clock during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], and added that his mother had the same problem at the time.
* On his [[Twitter]] feed, Chris has blamed the biological clock for his odd schedule a couple of times, in [[December 2009]] and [[January 2010]].
* In [[Mailbag 47|Mailbag #47]], Chris talked about his "recent biological clock reset", allowing him to return to a regular update schedule for his comics. This didn't last very long.
* The [[Alec Benson Leary calls]] contain a good deal of biological clock discussion, particularly in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|call #2]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|call #3]]. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|call #7]], Alec tries to explain to Chris that he's gotten the meaning of the colloquialism "biological clock" completely wrong, but Chris refuses to believe him.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[ShutUpBrain and WakeUpBrain]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]