CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:100 2266

2010-10-05T04:33:06Z

Captainhowdy:

I'll give this one the old college try with a transcript. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 21:21, 4 October 2010 (PDT)
Fuck it, man. I'm done with Chris. Shit's getting too real for me. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 21:33, 4 October 2010 (PDT)

Death threats

2010-09-29T20:34:37Z

Captainhowdy: /* Lars */ minor typo

[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

Contrary to his claims of kindness and patience, [[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die, often as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]s. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood are delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a camera is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of rage has steadily grown over months and years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of 2009 and early 2010 Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis. The people he has wished this grisly fate upon are listed are follows.

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day 2009, Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[Homos|homosexual]] ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos,[[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]] and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy, the Sonichu comics. In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-cent garbage]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves, compromising the building's structural integrity, and effectively dooming everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft, rather than be crushed under the rubble, proving once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|Sonichu 8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''face raped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with a [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris, who, according to himself, "wasn't in a sound state of mind" at the time.}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===[[Clyde Cash]]===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

[[Don't Mess With Me|Chris posted another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

Chris had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to boyfriends.]]

Chris's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused this exact same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins and leaves him to bleed to death, which is widely regarded in both the unwritten rules of war and [[Jerkops|maintaining law and order]] as dishonorable and a coward's way to end a conflict. When Kacey expressed horror at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep him from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone in the first place is off-putting, as is a desire to cripple someone for life. Chris also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't so much angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could maim her boyfriend and be completely in the right.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in order to (so he thinks) avoid copyright infringement and build his character into a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9th, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki, or [[Asperpedia]], started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later Chris claimed in a the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]] that he knew where Alec lived. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===[[Evan]], Mao, and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included Evan and Mao, two of Leary's partners in the creation of Asperpedia, in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 01 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on CWCipedia. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010| to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the law| totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the Webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked in to Chris's PSN account, he threatened to "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]" in a failed attempt to threaten him, at the same time firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he tries to be more threatening towards Tito, this time with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the reason why he and [[The Wallflower]] parted ways, even though their separation was due to concerned trolls contacting her about Chris's history with women, fearing that she'll end up becoming the next [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]. In the end, typical of our fat [[Autism|HFA]] friend, Chris's threat did not work and instead he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Ireland and the United Kingdom the way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On [[March_2010|17 March]] Chris made his most threatening video yet accusing Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, a rapist, and calling him a [[nigger]] and then promising he would cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open, easily the most bizarre death threat Chris has made to date. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]] and influenced Mao to take it over and allow the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris address to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claims that he will [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ends the video by throwing another toy boat to the celling.

==Chris as recipient==

Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4th [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and anger]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File talk:TheTitanicTruth.jpg

2010-09-28T18:08:47Z

Captainhowdy: Created page with "Nice lol - ~~~~"

Nice lol - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 11:08, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Chris.png

2010-09-26T01:52:20Z

Captainhowdy: Created page with "He seriously looks like some sort of serial killer now. Is it possible that we are witnessing America's Favorite Autistic Manchild's descent into madness? - ~~~~"

He seriously looks like some sort of serial killer now. Is it possible that we are witnessing America's Favorite Autistic Manchild's descent into madness? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 18:52, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-09-19T02:23:06Z

Captainhowdy: /* so i did some spring cleaning today. */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

*[[CWCki:General/Archive 1|Archive 1]]

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

== Da update is used for Chris updates...but what about other updates? ==
For example, I don't think the Lucas video game pictures should be on the update, but it should be noteworthy. Should it placed in da update or no? Also if you're wondering what pictures, I'M WORKING ON IT. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:33, 9 September 2010 (PDT)
:Where should I stick the pictures? I uploaded them with Lucas commentary on them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:42, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
::I think either the list of Chris's games article or the video games article. Leaning towards the video games article, if only because the list article is already pretty damned huge. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:07, 10 September 2010 (PDT)

== Image purge project ==
According to the Spongepedia (also hosted by dreamhost), 500 internal server error may be caused by TOO MANY IMAGES. In any case, I'm sick of seeing shitty images that do nothing to enhance articles as well. please tag images that are useless on their talk pages for deletion. kthx [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:45, 10 September 2010 (PDT)
*Based on what you told me about the Spongebob wiki, their problem was also due to image size. Perhaps if we work on resizing images down to less than 30kb?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:34, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::Eh, the 500 errors are a configuration/setup issue. I highly doubt images are the root cause. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:44, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:::No, it's a general agreed consensus that the 500 internal server error is occurring more often nowadays. It has to do with an increasing amount of SOMETHING. I'm going by this only lead right now. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:09, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
::::I mostly get 500 errors on pages that are large - that is - the body of text is large. Images really seem to have a negligible effect on whether a page 500's for me or not. We should think carefully about whether going about an image purge will largely be a wasted effort and/or do more harm than good towards error fixing (generating more edits - which may also form part of the problem). --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:06, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Overlooked interview? ==

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed on the talk page for [[Chris-chan_Discusses...]], the subject of a previous interview was brought up, and Champ said he didn't want to put it on until they had a youtube version for it. A year later, someone did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_PrPHC2l0 The video doesn't have many views, and I don't believe it has an article for it. I'm not sure if any of this is relevant, but I wanted to draw attention to it in case it needs an article or some other mention.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 06:03, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and diligence article? ==

Christian's work ethics and his laziness are rightfully infamous, but there isn't an article dealing with it en detail. I'd make it myself but due to stress and my poor grasp of English I'd rather hear the opinions of others on it before making a crappy attempt. --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 07:58, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
** Strangely enough, I was thinking the same thing. Though with how lazy he is, the article would probably grow to be almost as large as the article on sex. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:04, 15 September 2010 (EST)

== My response to the site administrator. ==

Just a few days ago, a member of our forums decided to claim that we were involved in attacks on your wiki. We were notified by the administrator of your site on a locked topic supposedly thanking us for our actions placed on PSPownsYou (or PBML) and also requested action on another supposed participant named Level1isbest. I just want to point out that we have no intention of harming your site and that the involved parties are a bunch of fucking trolls, but then again every person on Newgrounds does it for the lulz, not including school shootings (Jeff Weise). Sorry for any inconvienence. [[User:Tateos|Tateos]] 16:25, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

==Chris and Morality Page==

Though his morality has been mentioned on several other pages, I think it would be best to have one page dedicated to his morality, or lack there-of, and where it comes from, mainly his ego. [[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 21:07, 15 September 2010 (EST)
: Frankly, if it's coming from his ego, it should be mentioned on the [[ego]] page. This is, however, unless there's enough to justify a major Chris and page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 20:37, 15 September 2010 (PDT)
:: I don't really think Chris's morality needs its own page, as it would end up being a documentation of all the times he's been a horrible person (huge list), and all of the reasons behind it (troll speculation). These issues are already covered rather in depth on Chris's own page, the White Knighting page, the pages on Chris's Lies, Things Chris Has Ripped Off, Women's Rights, Homos etc. I feel a page purely about what a bad person he is is redundant (and self-evident besides). [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:46, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== so i did some spring cleaning today. ==
http://www.mediafire.com/?q6dsbzkgteqxpp6 - and then i realized it was autumn. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 17:44, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

I was doing some spring cleaning too, little cuz! I was going through my emails and then suddenly i stumbled upon this pic of CWC that WallFlower gave to me awhile back! As The Ancient Hawaiians used to say: A clean coconut is a clean soul. http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7886/cwcinkilt.jpg [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 17:58, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

:lol at the Marge Simpson poster - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:23, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-14T00:36:25Z

Captainhowdy:

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... [[Chris and anger|I have no hatred or anger]] towards the [[Homos|gay men]]. None at all. No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?|Chris [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] to impress [[china]]}}

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos Chris uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against the [[homos|gay men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed. Chris appears to be trying to clear his name, perhaps to demonstrate to a certain [[Jackie|sweetheart]] that he has changed his ways.

It is unclear why Chris has had a change of heart over the Xbox. Having shown his first PS3 no love by [[The MovingForward videos|destroying it]], it only took Chris a matter of days to purchase a new one. This new PS3 appears in the video, and is used in the first video Chris uploaded earlier the same day. It is not yet known if Chris has also purchased a new Xbox.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hVHNdHEz0hM}}
| stardate = 13 September 2010
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcript ==

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the XBox. [''Indicates his shelves. The XBox is on the third shelf down and towards the middle, hidden amongst the junk''] It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play BlueRay, But! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another Wii, or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [''loses train of thought momentarily''] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, keep it to yourselves. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [wave of his arm] cleansed! You're all forgiven. Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:PS3

2010-09-03T22:23:21Z

Captainhowdy: /* lolWUT */

== Every single purchase/download (as of feb 23 2010 ==

http://www.mediafire.com/?jym1gjw3gnf

YOU WILL KILL YOURSELVES TRYING TO ANALYZE THIS [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:32, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
* oh man. I am gonna have to steel myself a bit before I tackle that shit. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 13:06, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Aaaand I think I got it all. Now I will be depressed for the rest of the day. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 15:43, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==To do==
*Chris's fanboy faggotry with PS3 (ultimate life upgrade, etc.)
*Make available a log of his PSN purchases.
*Make reference to credit card theft.

Is there a way to look up Playstation Network stats (e.g. trophies) while not on the PSN? [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 01:50, 17 July 2009 (CEST)
: The folks at /_cwc/ hinted that [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu nowadays we can]. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 15:30, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

* Chain these links together for his entire DLC purchases.
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f5736ffdd
http://outerheaven.pastebin.com/f277fb9e2
http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/m26fb6764

http://outerheaven2.pastebin.com/f61a9b739 (his ALT usa account when he was hacked the second time)

uh yeah. this is pretty much the only thing that matters. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:56, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

* stats: total $2485.89 (dlc only not including hardware/software/game discs/umds...etc...chris's list of games for that info...so...)
634 total things (2 being tax from troll purchases when hacked first time post-julie)
1 29.99
1 24.99
4 19.99
1 17.99
6 14.99
2 12.99
2 11.99
33 9.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 8.99
7 7.99
4 6.99
14 6.25
79 5.99 (1 troll purchase made here)
1 5.50
42 5.49
40 4.99
20 3.99
1 3.49
60 2.99
6 2.49
203 1.99
1 1.49
81 .99
1 .66 (troll tax)
19 .49
1 .42 (troll tax)
3 .15

yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:21, 20 October 2009 (CEST)

== I've got to say something ==

...he does have a ton of 100%s here, which does make me sorta little bit hexbox-green with envy. Though most of them seem to be from games with only a few trophies (closer to the 200-gamerscore arcade games in XBL). ''And'' a few of these look like pretty simple games. But still, surprisingly many, considering the fact that just a few months ago there were ''three'' games in the list with 100%.

Sincerely, just a random guy in the last stages of of grinding his way to 1200 G in ''Mass Effect'', --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:07, 2 December 2009 (CET)
:I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Considering his..."performance" in the various Youtube videos of him playing Soul Calibur or Little Big Planet, I sincerely doubt he actually platinum'ed anything himself. More likely, he just downloaded a save file from GameFAQs (or wherever). -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 23:25, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

==Friend Limit MAXIMUM!==
Chris' friend limit is at the max on his PSN account. Does he have another one so he can still stay in contact with his 'fans'? Also, how do I get his LPB levels HOW DID I GET HERE OH GOD I AM NO GOOD WITH COMPUTER
*The only way I know is to go on LittleBigPlanet and search Sonichu and you're guaranteed to find his levels. And don't forget to do your signature, btw. It's one of those buttons in the middle of the set right on top of this box. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 04:10, 3 January 2010 (CET)

== I've gotta be honest ==
I was expecting a NOGAEMS joke somewhere in the article. [[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 20:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*If there's no direct link to Chris, expect it wouldn't be there. It's a way to keep the blubber away. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:23, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Does Chris have a fat or slim PS3? ==
I'm sure he had a fat one but knowing Chris, he probably bought the slim too. If he does indeed use the fat one, was he not affected by the PSN clock death thing that happened recently? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*it probably was affected but it didn't matter as the problem is fixed. he bought it when it first came out so he has a fat one. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

==Chris's game of the month==

This section is to inform people about the game Chris is currently playing the most for the month, for example a the last two seem to have been spent playing Heavy Rain and God Of War III, well this month Chris has revealed to the world that he's got his hands on the aclaimed sandbox game Infamous.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 18:52, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
*That makes too much sense--he's probably playing it right now, pretending that it's actually the Sonichu game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:29, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah or he's pretending the gang members are his trolls and the leaders of them are, Blue Spike, Liquid Chris, and Clyde Cash respectevly.[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 23:26, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
***Ah fuck. I liked Infamous! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:31, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
**** I do to, but I'm stuck on the level where you're supposed to protect Trish's bus.

Some of us have him friended on the PSN, right? Would it be possible for us to keep track of Chris's total time spent using the PS3 each month? Also, I can't see the individual trophies on his PSN profile--I assume that's just the site fucking up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 21:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

* What I do is compare trophies.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:14, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
** Also I have sent him a friend request a fews months back, he hasn't responded.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 00:15, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trophies and achievements ==

I was wondering: Since Chris seems to be such a trophy junkie, is he aware of the fact that the idea of trophies is heavily inspired by the "hexbox 360's" achievements? Has he ever mentioned anything about it? --[[User:Shotaru|Shotaru]] 15:55, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

==PlayStation Plus==
Do we know if Chris has subscribed to the new $50 service yet?--[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 03:13, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

==PS3 Destruction Video==
Chris mentioned that the PS3 still went into standby mode after he pounded and run over the console. Is it possible that Chris's problem was something other than a network issue? It sounds like the PS3 might have YLODed. --[[User:Captkrisma|Captkrisma]] 18:45, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Actual effects of reformatting ==

I don't have a PS3, so I'm kind of asking someone more knowledgeable to ramble about this in the article: How much did the reformatting actually affect Chris? I thought the worst that happened to him was that he lost his savegames and LBP/MN stuff he hadn't uploaded yet, and he could just re-download the purchases and the mod content he had uploaded to the servers. Another thing: What about the older HDs? Would he have had a chance to recover some of his stuff from there, or does the data-transfer process wipe the old stuff? (I don't see why it ''should'' do a crazy thing like that, but hey, consoles are weird sometimes.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:55, 31 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yes, purchased content could easily be redownloaded and anything he uploaded to the network would still be there. To my knowledge, upgrading the hard drive does not require you to wipe the old one, but I've never done it so I don't know for sure. If his older data was still on the HDs, it sure isn't now. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:33, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

== Yes he has a new one ==
Fuck me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 10:03, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, like nobody saw that coming. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 12:39, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:Do you know what he's doing with the rest of the $9001? --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 12:48, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

== lolWUT ==
The current revision of the article as I speak has this oddity:

<blockquote>"It was revealed through a series of e-mails that Chris had destroyed his beloved Life Upgrade in an attempt to cash in on a troll reward. However, to the surprise of none, he didn't think through this idea more, not even realizing that he had destroyed an item that could have netted him a lot more than the prize he sought."
</blockquote>

The PS3 and games cost Chris somewhere in the vicinity of $3500, a fact that is mentioned in a lot of places on this site. $3500 is just a little over half of the troll prize ($9001). Resale value for games is never a matter of making profit, it's about breaking even. You're not going to see $3500 again, especially not with a used PS3 and Chris's relatively small stack of games. It's a miracle to make back your investment.

Even on eBay, you're only going to profit if you have the latest and greatest console during the first month of the launch and the console can't easily be found in stores. Even that has it's limits though. The only way you can truly profit in the above-$5000 range is if you sell your whole game library (which obviously needs to be massive) or if you have a rarity like an RDI Halcyon prototype or a NeoGeo AES with a sizable stack of games.

I read the email, and nothing was mentioned about another reward for the intact PS3, much less a $9K< reward so what kind of acidcrack was the revision writer on suggesting you could get bookoo (buukuu? beaucoup?) money for Chris's PS3? [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 15:18, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

: I'm fairly certain that the intention was to get him to destroy his PS3 since he's a greedy sumbitch. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 15:23, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails

2010-09-03T00:15:42Z

Captainhowdy:

In the late summer of 2010, [[Clyde Cash]] and other trolls offered a series of bounties for various achievements in trolling [[Chris]]. One of the rewards: US$9,001 (GB£5,846 / €7,022) for the destruction via blunt force trauma of Chris's [[PS3]].

Chris discovered the announcement and apparently decided that he himself could pick up a piece of the action. The following communications reveal that it wasn't actually that simple. They also provide valuable background and context to the [[The MovingFoward videos|MovingFoward videos]] and Chris's filmed visit to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] on 31 August.

Chris's communications are on a blue background, while Clyde and Surfshack Tito's are on a red background.

==The E-mails==
{{quotebox|Hello, Clyde
Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 2:28 PM

Let's Talk Business. As you are aware, I, myself am aware of the (REDACTED), and recently, I have mistakenly formatted my PS3 Hard Drive.

I do have a Girlfriend now; I will not disclose her name, and she is aware of these factors as well. She has encouraged me to work for your Reward Offer. So, with the full intention of moving forward in life, I have destroyed my PS3 personally and video recorded it. I am not going to put it onto YouTube, Yet. I will be sending you the link to the video file I will be uploading to a Mega Upload site right after I finish typing this message.

At the moment, even if you upload the video yourself, it can be considered YOUR Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact. However, I am most willing and able to upload the video onto my own YouTube account personally. All I ask for me to actually Upload the Video onto my YouTube is the Full Reward, as posted on (REDACTED), of $9001 in Cash; NO check, NO Digital Transfer; Send me ALL of the Cash in a big, bubble-wrapped envelope via Snail-Mail. You have my good word that I will upload this same video onto my own YouTube right after I get the Cash.

Also, should you upload the video before I get the money, I can and will create a Retractionary Statement to the video, AND blow things out of proportion.

Considering the previous trusted conversation between me and Sarah was provided with your full authorization, I will thank you for that Peace of Mind event by Trusting You in Like. I would like to see the cash in my mailbox, followed by in my hands, within' this week, before September 4, 2010.

Attached are three photos of the same PS3, Post-Damage for your preview.

You, Sarah and Penny all have a good and safe day.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

{{quotebox|Another thing
Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 6:17 PM

Later on, I've realized I could take it a step up, even though the Forum said "With a Brick", and I have finished the job with the rear tire of my car. You send me the Cash of $9001, and I will upload that video with the first one. One Week from Today.

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|I don't care if this goes up on YouTube or not, these videos are proof to me that you actually are redeemable. I'm surprised, but I'm still skeptical that it's finally destroyed. PS3s are surprisingly tough unlike the fragile POS PS2 and you aren't the strongest fish in the sea.

Once I can clearly see the innards of the PS3 being wrecked or it's in pieces, then we'll talk.

Penny just said hi. Adorable. Let's pretend that was for you, alright?

- Clyde}}

{{quotebox|Fair Enough
Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 8:57 PM

I have another video of its Final Destruction as well, but I will give you a preview with the attached Photos. Price of Admission for the Videos: the Reward of $9001 in Cash via Snail-Mail, as I have previously described.

Note even the Slightest Bent Creases.

Cheers,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|I'm skeptical of you now. Why do you seem so willing to destroy your PS3? It used to mean everything to you. I have a strong feeling you're just trying to make me look like a fool. I don't believe any of this. I bet you just found a broken PS3 and passed it off as yours.

- Clyde}}

{{quotebox|Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 2:00 AM

I understand your skepticism, but I assure you, I destroyed my ONE 500GB, PS2 Backwards, Memory Card Slotted, 4 USB, Wi-Fied Playstation 3 I bought back on March 17, 2007.

I have also made further sacrifices beforehand; I SOLD ALL of my Super Nintendo Games, and the Console, the Super Scope 6, the SNES Mouse, and Most of my NES Games to Snooky's Pawn Shop Earlier this month; call them up and ask for yourself. And I gave my NES back to my father for his enjoyment of Zelda 2, Castlequest and the few remaining NES games. I've traded in a NUMBER of my current console games as well. I cancelled my GameFly Account. I also sold a BUNCH of my CDs, DVDs and Blu-Ray videos.

Also, I have Very Few Friends locally; I have NEVER dug through any dumpster or Garbage Can; and I could not and did not buy another PS3 anywhere.

With the $9001 I have earned with my deed of Cleansing, I swear on the graves of my Aunt Corina Weston Inge, my dog, Patti, all of my relatives and past friends, ceased and living, hand on My Holy New International Version Bible right now, and on my own life, that I will absolve my debts with my father with half of it, and all of the rest will be used for the Bright Future ahead between me and my Sweetheart. And I swear, Hand still on the Bible, everything I have done yesterday, as I have told you are ALL True, and That PS3 which is Destroyed now was The One that was Mine Alone and no one else.

I have the Video Footage, and I have given you the Samplings from the Deed; I need not prove myself further. The Destruction was as real as the tiresome humping with the tainted machine in that old video I was blackmailed into doing and record.

I have endured the Pains of Loss, and the Healing of Cleansing; FREE of the Lonely and Anguished Soul that went into that machine the past three years from destroying that vessel.

You have One Week to send the Legal, Unmarked $9001 Cash. And I do not think you want to be labeled a Man of No Word after the money you sent to the girl on the Forum. And I KNOW you want the Video Footage. You NEED the Video Footage.

Peace,

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Chris, it sounds to me you're lying with all this idiotic justification. Either you send me these so-called videos or you're a bullshit liar and this is over. You've lied way too many goddamn times in the past.

- Clyde}}

{{quotebox|Fine!
Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:02 AM

But I'd better see that Legal, Unmark, Non-consecutive $9001 CASH Within This Week, or the curse will still be on your head. NO Further Questions or Concerns!

The files in one Zip Folder are being uploaded now, and you will receive the link shortly.

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Alright, talk to my main-man Tito at (REDACTED). He deals with all the money transactions since that dealing with that crap is far beneath me. Have fun with your new life!

- Clyde}}

{{quoteboxred|ALOHA LITTLE CUZ!

It's been like what, a few months after that whole Heather Incident? I knew you blocked me so I had to create this new email to talk about the $9,001 reward.

Anyways, I've received orders from Clyde to hand over the money to you.

Atleast I would have if you read the fine print in my thread.

If you go to my thread and look really close, brudda, you would have noticed that there were some qualifications for being eligible for the reward.

Since you're probably too busy with other things, I will recite the fine print.

this little tiny line right under here was the qualification, and you missed it thinking it looked like my "--------" breaks

You are only qualified for the reward if you have signed a contract agreement for Clyde Cash before entering the Trolling establishment. Reward qualifies for you to Pay tribute to Tito for Security Protection, along with forfeiting your white women for the black man in the pickle suit. You will not be qualified for the reward if you are Chris Chan.

And another thing little cuz, the reward money is for people who TROLL you. You can't troll yourself, so how can you collect the money?
These trolls do not have welfare to depend on like do you fatty. It's their job to troll you. They rely on their trolling prizes to survive.

Now if you were that cool trolling guy jenkinsjinkies The money would've been his seeing that he was closer to you.

The Reward Was For Trolling You

Did the Autobots ever give the Decepticons reward money because the decepticons stole their own energon? I think not, little cuz.

Did you know that you destroyed the only ps3 with backwards compatibility?

You smashed a $700 dollar console you fucking NAIVE IDIOT!

That is the only console you could've got all of your money back & probably even more $$$.

no other version of the console can do that.

I don't about giving you the cash but I can at the LEAST give you the bubble wrap that you wanted.

As the Ancient Hawaiians Used to say:

Just Because you can afford the modern long board, doesn't you can mean honor the moving water}}

{{quotebox|Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 7:12 PM

Look, I did the deed of Destroying my "PSTriple", WITH a Brick and then some; I Provided the Video and Photographic Footage; You did not specify Troll or Not in your Topic. And your Break Lines are ONLY Break Lines between each Topic of "Wanted" and "Rewards". And Your Superior, Clyde Cash himself, has given You Orders to Pay Me the Reward. It should not matter of the witness of Junior Jenkins. And Confidentially, I actually Met him in person, and we have a mutual understanding of each other. And as an individual in your game, I respect him as a person with a bright future in front of him. I have forgiven HIM for being a Troll. And I will also confide in you that I have made a Promise to God that after I have the Legal $9001 Cash in my hands, I swore to Forgive ALL of the Trolls, including You And Clyde; NO MORE CURSES or BEING CURSED.

So just continue with carrying out your orders to send me the Full Cash Reward, and we can all move forward with our lives in peace.

Thank you.
Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Ok fatty, Clyde really likes your video. He wants me to bend the rules.

Let's pick a dropoff point for the money.

Meet me at:

[[The GAMe PLACe|243 Ridge McIntire Road
Charlottesville, VA]]

at 2:00 PM tomorrow.

An agent in a pickle suit will meet you there with $9001 in twenty dollar denominations.

If you're not there at 2:00 pm I'm spending the money on hookers and blow. I don't care what Clyde says, I don't feel like giving a welfare sapping fat shit like you a bunch of money

As The Ancient Hawaiians Used to say:

Don't Be late.

Your Troll
Tito}}

{{quotebox|Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:16 PM

I got it. I will be there.}}

{{quotebox|Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 10:46 PM

I will meet you there in front of the Staples of 243 Ridge McIntire Road, and NOT the store next door or anywhere else. I will be waiting in my car in a parking space in front of the Staples. No Negotiations.}}

{{quoteboxred|Haha. Who do you think you are calling the shots?

Look, we're paying people to troll you. You can't troll yourself. I'm only even giving you this money because Clyde seems to think that killing your PS3 was improvement on your life.

Don't test me, you are in no position to dictate terms to me fatty.

Do you understand that? You are relying on my generosity fatso, do NOT test me.

Ok, fine fatty, meet me in Fashion Square mall. In front of Chick-fil-A. 2:00 PM tomorrow. If you do not show up, I am taking this money to the nearest Hawaiian Brothel.

Capiche?
Tito}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 12:41 AM

Chick-Fil-A at Fashion Square; 2:00 PM. I will be there.}}

{{quoteboxred|Wait wait wait, hold the fucking phone.

I just had one of Clyde's asian technicians look at the video.

They spotted an intact hard drive in the corner of one of the frames.

You greasy fat weasel. You're saving the hard drive.

No, you're not getting your money until we get video of you smashing the three hard drives you have. Forget using a Brick, it's clear that even the asian girl that smashed the ps3 had more strength than you. I'm sure that you were in so much distress when you destroyed your ps3, it must've felt like what a mother feels when she drowns a baby in a sink. You hold that much feeling for an object it makes me repulsed.

I don't care how it gets destroyed, Bricked, Car, & knifed. Hell I would suggest you would do All 3 for this shit.

And Clyde was going to give you this money because he thought you were improving. I don't even want to show him the evidence of you being a sneaky fat rat, little cuz. You owe him that much

Listen here, I am the Hawaiian Joe Pesci to Clyde's Robert De Niro from [[Wikipedia:Casino (film)|Casino]]. I make sure what Clyde wants, Clyde Gets, and a naive Robotnik look-a-like such as yourself is going to get money from the boss.

& don't even try to think you have any upper hand in the negotiations. May I remind that you weren't even eligible for the reward in the first place.

you are in no position to dictate terms to me. I could be an total asshole and make you fulfill [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thadeus]]' deal to sing [[It's UGH!|Okay 2 b gay]] correctly. Remember Jack's "black mail" that you so call it. Even at that time you thought you had any bargaining privileges. But I'm not going to unless if you goof up again

But Right Now i'm feeling generous to give you 1 last chance.

There was an Ancient Hawaiian saying:
"He who owns the gold makes the rules."

Fuck you,

Tito

Get me that video or you get nothing.

P.S: Why the fuck are you apologizing to Sony Computer Entertainment of America? You treat a fucking corporation like it's god damned human being. Some CEO Big shot from [[Sony]] is probably viewing your video from his mansion viewing your antics like a boy views ants}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 6:20 AM

Enjoy the Destruction More.

Chick-Fil-A at Fashion Square; 2:00 PM; TODAY. I will be waiting for the Cash for me and my Sweetheart's Future.

Christian.}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 6:29 AM

to answer your question, there were a LOT of people who worked hard with the machines to construct the pieces, put them together, program and distribute the machine before I bought it. I am a man who Cares and Respects good people, and I did not want to dis them, so I made the statement.}}

{{quoteboxred|What an awful, awful person you are. You're more concerned with the feelings of a faceless corporation that exists to squeeze money out of you than: your parents, your friends or the taxpayers who work hard to support your fat ass. And I'm sure this will all be pointless because you're going to get another PS3.}}

{{quoteboxred|just talked to Junior, he said he never would've made any agreement with a welfare sapping [[naive]] retarded bastard such as yourself.

what are trying to pull to fatty?}}

Attached all the Tito e-mails and added this:
{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:44 PM

**Clyde, let me share with you what your correspondent, Tito, has been saying to me, and he is Resistant to Pay Me the Reward I have earned from my console destruction.}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:52 PM

**For your information, I would not get another PS3.}}

To Tito:
{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 1:58 PM

For your information, I would Not get another PS3, and I was at the Mall waiting for the cash from 1:30 to 2:10 PM. And after I read your e-mail, I went over and talked to Junior; he has NOT received any communication from you. AND even though he still has his anger against me, he and I still have a mutual understanding and agreements between each other. He told me that while he will continue to support your cause to bad-mouth me, he is cool with me getting my money, even though some of it came from his own tax dollars. Quit your damn Bitching and Redeem yourself by Giving me the $9001 Cash for my Console's Destruction.

Christian W. Chandler.}}

{{quoteboxred|Heh fatty, I just read that email that you sent to Clyde earlier. Clyde informed me to relay that he doesn't appreciate a shit stirring faggot like yourself trying to cause drama. Clyde left me in charge of disseminating this money to you. I control his finances. He empowered me to tell you to fuck off if you do anything funny.

You have to deal with me.

Since we have a few picklemen working at Fashion Square, we can have one of them pay you. Meet our agent at the Starbucks at 2:00 PM.

We'll be there, our agent should have a briefcase with the cash.

Don't try to dictate terms to us. You either meet on our terms, or you don't get your money. Makes no difference to me. Actually, it'd be cool if you got cocky and gave me reason to tell you to fuck off. Then I'd take your money to a whorehouse.

You may be a bigshot over at 14 branchland court but your tugboat don't float in our waters, little cuz.

Your troll,
tito.}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 9:14 PM

I had the theory of tardiness, and I was uncertain. But I will give you one more chance. Today, Tuesday the 31st, as you said at the Fashion Square's Starbucks at 2:00 PM. I will be there. Please inform me how I will recognize your agent.

Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|Look Buddy, you're giving ME one more chance, lard ass?

Tell me how many other people are lining up to give you $9,001. (there aren't). Giving you 1 dollar of that is a bad idea enough.

You will recognize the agent that will give you the money, She'll have a pickle Tattoo right on her nice rack that is about as big as your man boobs, little cuz.}}

{{quotebox|Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 9:47 PM

I apologize for offending you with the comment. I will keep my eyes open for the female agent then; pickle tattoo on her breast.}}

{{quotebox|Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 3:44 PM

I was at the Starbucks in Fashion Square for over an hour, and come 2:00 PM and later; No Pickle-Breasted Woman showed up. I do not care for Wild Goose Chases, and my patience is wearing thin. Let's agree to have one of your Agents come to my house tomorrow afternoon to deliver the $9001 Cash at 2:00 PM; all she has to do is ring the doorbell, and I will answer.

Sincerely,
Christian.}}

{{quoteboxred|You want more money? We gave you your money. We first went to the Starbucks inside the mall and we didn't see you. We saw some fat guy with big juggly hooters but no Christian Weston Chandler.

We thought you got mixed up and went to the wrong Starbucks, so we tried the other one and we found you. You had your medallion and your sapphire high school ring, so we knew it was the true and honest Chris-Chan.

You looked like you lost some weight, congrats.

Your Troll,
Tito}}

{{quotebox|Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 4:30 PM

Liar; you did not see me at all. Don't cheat your way out of this.}}

{{quoteboxred|No, you fat shit, you're trying to rip us off. We saw [[Liquid Chris|you in your brown striped shirt]] with your sapphire high school ring. I talked to [[Kacey|your wife]] with the big boobs. I know it was you because of the retarded voice, the sapphire ring and the medallion.}}

Clyde sent this:
{{quoteboxred|You're going to have to beg, bitch.

You say you have some girlfriend. Prove it. What's her name?}}

{{quotebox|Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 9:53 AM

With due respect, I am NOT going to reveal her name, because I do not want you bastards pestering the hell out of her; she does not need it. And I am tired of your game of Goose-Chase; I KNOW you AND Tito are NOT going to give me even a half a Penny of any money, even after I've broken my one PS3 I paid 400 dollars for in 2007.

You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like [[South Park|Eric Cartman]], and then [[Rape]] yourselves with your own Damn Darth Maul Dual LightSabre.

Fuck Off and Die, BOTH of you.}}

Talk:Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails

2010-09-02T23:51:42Z

Captainhowdy:

i'm too lazy to add commentary so uh, yeah, any questions i'll clarify here. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:37, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Background and context would be useful here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:54, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**okay, i posted up a thing saying rewards for chris to have gay sex, patti bones and ps3 destruction. i posted this all over the world. chris heard about it and he wanted in on it. needless to say, he failed. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:00, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*I'll be here if anyone needs commentary on my part.[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 16:04, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**Basically some trolls created a forum called the trolling train. They discussed rewards for deeds of trolling. One of which included breaking into 14 Branchland court, and smashing Chris's PS3, offering a $9001 reward. One of the trolls, our very own jenkinsjinkies, who just happened to have moved into 12 branchland court accepted the mission. Unfortunately, some faggot white knight told Chris about the trolling train forum, and chris decided to steal the honest hard working jinkies $9001 like how he tried to steal kacey, by smashing his perfectly functioning PS3, instead of just selling it. Now he wants the money for trolling himself (if thats even possible) [[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 16:05, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*The white knight is irrelevant.[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 16:07, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

Is the "Penny" referred to here PandaHalo's kid? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:09, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

I don't see why it's essential to REDACT trollingtrain. Chris obviously knows about it and Cwcki's purpose is to illuminate, not keep fellow trolls in the dark. There's a definite need for secrecy while a plan is going on, but once the emails are leaked I think it's a mistake to keep that censorship going and against the spirit of the wiki.

EDIT: One question. Is the formatting a completely separate incident, which prompted him to destroy his PS3 to claim the reward (since it was borked anyways?) Or were we involved in causing that as well? And is there any info on this new girlfriend available, or is Chris just Chloeing us again? [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 16:23, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*>'''is there any info on this new girlfriend available, or is Chris just Chloeing us again?'''
Take a guess, my good man. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 16:43, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

Does the "paying off the debts with my father" thing have something to do with the fraud Bob was talking about during the Mathew Noble call? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 16:51, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:News

2010-08-31T21:26:32Z

Captainhowdy: /* Chris spotted at Fashion Square...Again. */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
{{Community Portal}}

This page is for discussion of da latest update.

== Flipnote Hatena return ==

So... how many <s>days</s> <s>hours</s> minutes before he's banned? --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 04:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, they've been up for almost 12 hours now. He must have flown under the mod's radar. That's going to change since we're now aware of this development. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

And will we get many more badly drawn, idiotic animations? Also what is the general opinion of what we want to happen here? Do we want to report him so he will get banned again and rage, or do we want to see where he goes with this? -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 05:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
* Already reported his water maze dream. May as well to be perfectly honest. Besides, I don't think we'll get anything new, and I would love to see him rage about Flipnote Hatena Moderators for banning him because he is BAwwwwwtistic. Jump on the Pickle train, destination, Chris. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:33 25, July 2010 (UTC)

Knowing how fast Chris got banned from Flipnote Hatena(what was it, a week or two before he got perma-banned?), it will probably be even shorter. I mean, does he seriously think he can get back on and no one will notice? He's a real tool if he thinks Trolls aren't going to mess with him or report him, and an idiot if he thinks that the Moderators on FH wont notice his shenanigans and kick him right off. Also, how did he get around the ban? He must be using a library computer or something, or bought a new DS just to get around it. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:37 25, July 2010

SakuraBlossom is posting again. Apparently she had the watery maze dream too. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 06:38, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Any chance of a link to her channel? This sounds interesting. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 07:32, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*http://flipnote.hatena.com/mobile/9C6792D0F3618798@DSi/ is SakuraBlossom's profile. She gave him a butt-tonne of stars just before. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:02, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Thanks. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 15:58, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Hey guys. Delabonte here. I don't want to have to be the one to point out the obvious but you all have Autism so here goes. How about you not report Chris this time? Haven't you realised that getting him banned from one of his few outlets is completely retarded? I know you think you're achieving something, but you are achieving the wrong thing. Think about it carefully. What was funnier, when he was making these cartoons or when he vanished and did nothing?''' --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

:Thanks for the sorely-needed message (and the protip), but I fear it may be too late as some have already taken the initiative to rat him out. Even without the dumbasses prematurely ending our fun, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until Chris gets HIMSELF in trouble with the mods. In the meantime, let's see if he catches a hold of a certain cherry flower who wants to be his heartsweet. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 14:09, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:*As far as we know, he hasn't responded to Sakura aside from in email. Still, it's important he not find out, or he could discover the woman who had the watery maze dream too... That would be a disaster. Also, I do agree; quit reporting him. It's funnier if/when he gets banned because of his own actions. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:08, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Anybody who reports Chris is a moron. Also, this means he bought another DSi. And that's just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:21, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Update: Flipnotes previously reported to be taken down are (surprise) back up again. Oh Chris. (Hopefully this time around the trolltards won't do any reporting.) --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 01:53, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

== New tweets ==

Yeah. Chris has tweeted yet again, promoting his Sonichu Modnation crap and asking for ‘5-Star Votes’. No mention of Flipnote or anything related, though.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 08:02, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Where is Chris? ==

It seems like he has been pretty inactive lately. There have been no new updates since July 26th. I wonder what he is doing. What is he up to? Any thoughts?
-Interested bystander 08/10/2010
*Chris is playing [[ModNation Racers]]. He has been for quite a while. Nothing will happen for some time. Same thing happened when he got LBP. Also, you don't have to type your name out and stuff. Just put 4 tildes (~) after your message and it will sign your post for you. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 22:35, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

This quiet spell is killing me, someone go fire a petrol bomb through his house, get some reaction.. anything! If i lived within 3 hours of him, swear to god i'd be there everyday with my camera staking him out. --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 04:47, 12 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Heh. The thing is... doing stuff that would make anyone RAEG (or at least, respond with huge amounts of emotion and anger) isn't really what's funny. The funny thing is doing [[Miyamoto|something]] [[Liquid|really]] [[Asperchu|minor]] that wouldn't phase anyone else, or would even amuse them, then watching him explode with disproportionate tard rage. There's also this tiny, niggling doubt in the back of my mind that... unless it actually hit Chris's room, or his car, or his parents raged at him for it (therefore inconveniencing him), he honestly wouldn't care. He'd just call it 'sad' or something. Chris really only cares about himself. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:59, 12 August 2010 (PDT)

Maybe Chris is still getting into stupid shit, but we're not seeing it. Maybe he was already banned from FAF for being a creep. We can't know at this point, but the possibility that we're missing out on some heavy shit is pretty frustrating. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 02:28, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

For some reason I am really interested in the whole Chris saga. I find him to be a pretty interesting person. I wish I lived near him so I could actually see him in action or actually talk to him. I tried adding him on facebook but apparently he never checks his facebook anymore. [[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 12:54, 16 August 2010 (PDT)

I swear this whole 2 year saga is like the best thing on the internet, but even so a lot of it has been dominated by quite spells. Then he'll release a new episode and in a whirlwind of shit and comeuppance he'll find his new sweetheart (I.E. any girl who dares to even acknowledge his existence, besides his mother.). Until then we just got be patient. [[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 15:34, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== Not a forum crackdown ==

Given recent events, I'm starting to get pissed about people who are using CWCki as a forum. Next person to do any of the follow (list not inclusive): posting trolling plans, posting personal comments on videos (like commenting how stupid Chris is), or pretty much '''anything that is not pertaining to improvement of the article will result in temporary bans.''' If you have any questions about this, feel free to contact me. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:58, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
*champ, despite you being the most cwcki leader of all cwcki things, to be honest, you're not doing a very good job of enforcing this. you SHOULD call it a forum crackdown. you should call it Crackdown: The End of All Things: The Movie [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:29, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== He has returned ==

Dry spell officially over? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 06:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* That has still yet to be seen, but it appears so... I would, however, expect more video's soon in the immediate future given how much Chris has obsessed over his 10 year high-school reunion. When he finds out it isn't going to happen or he wasn't invited, there will definitely be some more videos (either of him crying about how the Greene County School board conspired to keep him out of the reunion, or raging against the school itself for not inviting him). Keep your eyes peeled, this high school reunion whining has the potential to become a saga in itself --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 06:10, 27 August 2010

if not the reunion this "trollbusters" alone could be another ego trip worth laughing at[[User:Mr.moose|Mr.moose]] 09:26, 27 August 2010
==Death of the Beloved PS3==
I don't understand why Chris destroyed his PS3... isn't formating the drive mean he just deleted all the data on the hard drive? I mean I realize he had a ton of shit on there but, now he has to buy a new one when he couldve just started from scratch with his old one... Anyone mind elaborating on this?[[User:Open the udder|Open the udder]] 01:21, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:This is either a gross overreaction to losing his hard drive (most of the content on which could easily be replaced, such as comics, songs, and purchased content.) or a somewhat extreme attempt at <s>re</s>gaining a social life. It actually reminds me of when I was a kid and I lost one of my Pokemon due to a trading glitch and came to the retarded conclusion that I should just wipe my entire save file. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 12:10, 30 August 2010 (PDT)
:: who knows. my guess is that he will probably buy another one eventually with his tugboat

==Chris spotted at Fashion Square...Again.==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ueHWOKMh0 The guy who made the FAF vids posted this.]

Any thoughts? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:13, 31 August 2010 (EST)

: He looks almost normal. Interesting... -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:26, 31 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T02:17:53Z

Captainhowdy: /* Growing up? */

{{Not A Forum}}
Transcribing this one presently... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:27, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Done transcribing. Well, that was something you don't see every day. If anybody can catch what he says while he's setting down the camera in the first bit, please do add that... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 17:54, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

What account did he upload this on?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
*he didn't upload it, trolls did --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:42, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Um, wow... Destroying his life upgrade? This has to be the work of an external source, no way in hell Chris would do this on his own... I'm guessing either Rocky or Snorlax and the lumber jack. I'm gonna hold off on commenting any further until new information is gleaned.--[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 17:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

How did the trolls get ahold of this video...obviously an inside job if he sent it to some trolls "I'll have sex with you if you destroy your ps3" Our tax dollars will buy him another one however...I wonder if he will still use the Sonichu ID?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 18:01, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Am stupid question i know but why the fuck doesn't he just connect the HDD to his computer and run a data recovery application ? --[[User:Hdl6h3g|Hdl6h3g]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

::Wow, this is a bit extreme, even for Chris. I would be surprised if he thought of doing this on his own. [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 17:52, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:::I tried doing that once. Didn't work. I think the PS3 uses a file system that Windows doesn't recognize. I've heard that it can be accessed in Linux, though. Not that it matters, since a formatted drive is near impossible to retrieve data from. He should have just backed it up beforehand.--[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 18:14, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Here's my question, what's he going to do when winter sets in and he's got nothing to do inside? He'll probably be getting a new one when he realizes that. Food for thought. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:15, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Well it seems like he thinks his PS3 is the sole cause of his lack in a social life, it sort of is but destroying the PS3 seems more like treating a symptom than a disease. [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 18:19, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
:Sort of, it certainly is a measure to change, albeit an extreme one, but necessary. It's like an addiction really and he's kind of forcing himself into a kind of rehab by doing this. This is all assuming he doesn't just go buy a new one though. But I think that all we've heard from Chris these past few months are all connected: the PS3 destruction, him trying to get off the internet, and, most of all, his high school reunion. He's trying to the best of his ability but keep in mind that it's Chris. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:25, 29 August 2010 (PDT)
Considering how fucking poor these people are, I am shocked that they didn't pawn the PS3 for some solid cash. I mean, jesus fuck.--[[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 18:37, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

== Growing up? ==

Could it be possible that this is a sign that America's favorite HFA is ridding himself of his "childish" things? Or is it possible that he's just destroying it to feel more adult when he goes to his reunion? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 18:46, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

:Fat chance. Even now, he's probably going out and spending his monthly tugboat on another PlayStation 3. He destroyed because he thinks it might lure the trolls away from him. --SpaceScreaminJohn 18:57, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

HE HAS PURCHASED A NEW SLIM PS3 A SLIM PS3 WITH THE LARGEST HARD DRIVE AVAILABLE SLIMMER DESIGN PS3 FOR MORE GAMES.
: Proof? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:17, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T02:17:20Z

Captainhowdy:

Talk:The MovingFoward videos

2010-08-30T01:46:30Z

Captainhowdy:

Talk:Stardate, August 27, 2010

2010-08-27T21:56:58Z

Captainhowdy:

{{Not A Forum}}

I started a page on this with just the link, new to editing CWCKI...I'll start transcribing the aduio - LyleLash

Already did :) [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 13:50, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

So it seems that Chris, in a way, finally admits to being completely retarded. Just when you think the CWC saga is over, something new and exciting happens. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 13:52, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Two odd things stood out for me. 1) Chris actually admits fault, and 2) he uses his high pitched lying voice the entire time. --[[User:CuteDoug|CuteDoug]] 14:06, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*And I'm bothered by the repetition of "My PS3 is gone, you don't need to try to destroy it". Is there a way we can confirm anything? Also the PSN profile shows that his trophies still exist, if that's any help.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:42, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:Trophies are saved to the network. Wiping the hard drive wont remove those. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 14:51, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:My bullshit detector is going off. I get the feeling this might be an attempt at "Trollbusting".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:43, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:: Agreed. I think he's just trying to throw us off. He wouldn't have said it was a "misunderstanding" and we would be seeing massive levels of Tard rage. But I have a question: On the off chance that this isn't sum Trollbustin', do you think that he'll drop his money back into it trying to get all the downloads he had? Or will he just give up and start playing the Hex Bawx/Wii? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:46, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: He probably only needs to re-download the things. He seems to acknowledge this because he doesn't mention his games getting wiped, he's just upset that his save files and miscellaneous downloads were deleted. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 14:51, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:::::<s>If it's true that he did format his HDD, then does that mean that he when he re-earns an achievement/trophy/whatever, then his PSN friends will be able to see that he has done so? I don't have a PS3 personally, so I don't know how the whole friends thing works. This seems like the most immediate way to see if he is telling the truth, though</s> disregard that i suck cocks. -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:53, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Stardate, August 27, 2010

2010-08-27T21:46:15Z

Captainhowdy:

I started a page on this with just the link, new to editing CWCKI...I'll start transcribing the aduio - LyleLash

Already did :) [[User:Ash link|Ash link]] 13:50, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

So it seems that Chris, in a way, finally admits to being completely retarded. Just when you think the CWC saga is over, something new and exciting happens. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 13:52, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Two odd things stood out for me. 1) Chris actually admits fault, and 2) he uses his high pitched lying voice the entire time. --[[User:CuteDoug|CuteDoug]] 14:06, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*And I'm bothered by the repetition of "My PS3 is gone, you don't need to try to destroy it". Is there a way we can confirm anything?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:42, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:My bullshit detector is going off. I get the feeling this might be an attempt at "Trollbusting".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:43, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:: Agreed. I think he's just trying to throw us off. But I have a question: On the off chance that this isn't sum Trollbustin', do you think that he'll drop his money back into it trying to get all the downloads he had? Or will he just give up and start playing the Hex Bawx/Wii? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 14:46, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Stardate, August 27, 2010

2010-08-27T21:45:39Z

Captainhowdy:

Talk:EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T17:24:09Z

Captainhowdy:

I am transcribing this BITCH. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:14, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fucking done. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:21, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Ahahahaha, Chris is going to organize the high school reunion by himself. This is awesome as it is, but we can't let this opportunity to troll him go by. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 01:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

How do we know that a reunion has already been organised, and that Chris was not invited? [[User:Sorrid Snake|Sorrid Snake]] 01:29, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

oh, i did some digging around. i don't have it on me, but i'm 95% sure there was one planned. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:30, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I think the single funniest thing in this video is that Chris implies he thinks the reason he cant break into the video game industry is because of trolls working for Nintendo. Also, i'm pretty sure he wants a reunion so he can hook up, I'd imagine the last women willing to associated with him were in highschool. Also, I dunno what to do with this, do whatever if you want, just doodling.[[File:Names.PNG|thumb|center]] [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 02:40, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Need any on scene reporters for this shit. I don't live that far away from Manchester High.[[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 05:23, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Sure. I'd post it here, but you Google it yourself....(chris if you're reading this you're a lazy shit). If the date is november then you got it. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I checked it out a couple months ago, and I didn't see anything that would indicate that they had planned a reunion. Besides, if I remember correctly, Chris was on one of the mailing lists to be informed if something did happen. Given that few, if any, of his former classmates are aware of his internet notoriety, I doubt that he would've been left out of the loop.--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 06:56, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Well, I have an address and date and time and everything. I'm sure that was probably a fake Chris... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Oh, I see. You were posting your answer as I was posting my hypothesis. Leave it to the great Clyde Cash to be one step ahead of Inspector Detector and I. --[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 07:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Side note. ==

One interesting thing I noticed while transcribing this BITCH. Chris repeats his number for emphasis- does he think YouTube is live? Like live TV? He seems to do almost all of his videos 'on the first take', mistakes included, so this would seem plausible. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*It's because doing multiple takes and editing is SO HARD and WAY TOO MUCH WORK. Also one take is much more TRUE and HONEST. Someone gets into it somewhere on the CWCki, but I forget where.--[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 06:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Transcribing his shit english? ==

We all know Chris can't present himself verbally, but it's getting to the point where it can be difficult to follow the transcription for his videos since they seem to be written out fairly close to verbatim to his actual speech. Since the transcribing seems to be done by a small group of people (thanks for that, by the way) it's fairly consistent, but even so, should there be some kind of guideline written up for it? Such as what mispronounciations should be included, what stuttering to include, that sort of thing?

:*First of all, sign your posts (it's just <nowiki>--~~~~</nowiki> at the end of your post). Secondly, some videos are transcribed like that- I transcribed part of Mumble 6 that way, mainly because it was Chris and Julie cybering and I really didn't need to go over and over that just to make sure I got every bit of his spastic stuttering correct. Speaking personally, I prefer to make the transcription as faithful as possible- including stuttering and mistakes. I believe that's the most 'faithful' way to render articles where Chris speaks, including this one. That's one of the perks about being a transcriber- you get to pick your style. If the inclusion of the stuttering (etc) really annoys you, the only thing I can suggest is to take a stab at the vast library of untranscribed audio we have available and transcribe it to your liking. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Hair==
So far, I've only looked at the thumb but from the image it really seems like his MPB is proceeding just as planned.
EDIT: Looked at the first few seconds. It's clear as day now. Chris is going bald really quickly. Anyone care to estimate how long he's got/ I would, but I don't know how to. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 08:04, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

:Think that as his MPB progresses we can chronicle his receding hairline? I'd be interested to see how quickly it is falling out now compared to the last few years. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

: I don't know how long he has but it really doesn't look healthy. It looks greasy and stringy and I honestly wonder how long it's been since he's bathed or washed his hair.
Either way, I'd say that he'll be completely bald by November. Just looking at it now compared to pictures from FAF, there's a very noticeable difference. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 10:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
==Trollbusters==

Hmm, I wonder where Chris is getting his Trollbuster idea from? I've poked Google and beyond a website that shuts down patents, most of the Trollbuster gatherings were failures. Which isn't totally surprising considering who we're dealing with here, but still. My guess, though, is that he's probably either a) met a group on PSN or b) decided to come up with it himself.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:36, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*The answer is B.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:41, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

** Ironically enough, the real troll busters are a group of lawyers that specialize in patent law: "[http://www.troll-busters.com/ Troll-Busters]" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 09:52, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*** That website is as terrible as their services invaluable. ... Anyhow: given there's a Trollbusters truck with a no-trolls logo, we can assume he's riffing on the more-popular Ghostbusters for once. You'd think he'd put the no-troll logo on the t-shirt instead of a block of text, but then Chris is a lazy idiot, so! [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 10:00, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Next thing you know he's going to be talking about the cyberpolice and how consequences will never be the same...--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-16T03:06:20Z

Captainhowdy:

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** It's the final proof that Chris's vague understanding of reality and tendency towards conspiracy are just him puppetting his senile father and white trash mother. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Snorlaxicus Maximus. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 20:04, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
** Oh snap! So is this her longest appearance in recorded media? - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Matthew Nobles call

2010-08-16T03:02:25Z

Captainhowdy:

This is important shit guys, mostly detailing Bob's theory of the conspiracy that trolling originated from [[Megan]], Michael Synder, and "a few gay guys."--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:38, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah, this is awesome. Now, if we had Matthew's email, we could verify the "George Millson" case a few of us are looking into, seeing as it's possible proof of Chris hypnotizing someone into believing Chris is a good person. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
* Most upsetting Bob oriented thing to date. He's equally responsible for Chris growing up to be a useless sack of shit. I liked the world better when I thought it was all Barb's fault. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 19:06, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
Who is that at the end? Sounds like Chris but...really off... - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:02, 15 August 2010 (PDT)
==File format==
Could someone with a converter link to an mp3 version of the file? None of the media players on my computer support .ogg files. [[User:Ganondorfdude11|Ganondorfdude11]] 19:47, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

*Use VLC, dude.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:48, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:UltimateNightmare

2010-06-26T00:49:41Z

Captainhowdy: /* A thought regarding the sound. */ new section

The response to the idea on the community portal was pretty good, so why not.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:23, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== A thought regarding the sound. ==

According to [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000?in=user this] the image was uploaded at 5:29p.m. According to the [http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Friday After Five] website, the music starts at 5:30p.m. Perhaps Chris intended to make auditory beeping noises with his mouth into the microphone but due to the sounds from the crowd/testing sound equipment/whatever else, it came out as this God awful sound. Thoughts?

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-06-25T19:39:18Z

Captainhowdy: /* More Random Access Humor */

Get all of chris's comments, save his flipnote bullshit creations

and uh

yeah. he favorited over 71 PAGES OF THESE FUCKING THINGS

[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Archive of comments in progress. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:13, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016
Fuck, he knows we filmed him. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*By the way, it's page 22 of the comments.
:I disagree. This is not conclusive confirmation that he was aware of people filming him. He could easily be referring to previous times where people have witnessed him out and about (like the Michael Snyder incident). He may have suspected people were following him about there but we don't know if he was aware for sure. I sense we may get a new video soon. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:22, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:*At least he didn't comment on all of them. I'm thinking get screencaps of everything he commented on and save his comments?
:* I've saved all his comment images and plan on uploading them shortly. I would guess we can just link what the image is replaying to in the gallery captions. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* Uploaded - I had to change the format from the source GIFs since they don't play nicely with galleries. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== jesus fffffffff ==
Chris has favorited over 2000 of these things. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*:Yeah, I'm not about to list those. It's pretty obvious he just hits favorite on everything he moderately likes. Still I guess I could skim them to see if any TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fanart is in there.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Holy mother of fuck, hahaha! ==

God, it's like this is all he did yesterday besides pretend the party was some kind of slo-mo rave to get underage girls at! --[[User:Eniggy|Enig-HAHAH]] 00:31, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Uh, hm. Yes, that is what happened. Thanks. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:33, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris has no hope of getting back to a normal life. The trolls are going to follow him and torment him until the day he dies, and he's unable to do a thing about it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

^ *Insert requiem for a dream music*--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:21, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris could very easily get back to a normal net life. The problem is, he can't help but be Chris. If he would stop signing everything and talking about himself in every post, he'd just be another guy on a forum. If you'll notice, most of his posts are either unfunny random humor that would be loss in the morass of the same or him shilling his custom content. Cut out the second and he'd fit right in. He'll never resist yelling about his Sonichu modkingdom or whatever custom thing he makes next because he's an idiot. On another note, Chris thinks that negative tone = lie given one of his quotes. I mean, no matter what sort of spin we put on it, that video of him humping a blow-up doll exists, no? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris doesn't seem to consider negative tone=lie. Rather, this is just an example of his tardlogic. When he says "EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THE PRE-HACKED CWCIPEDIA, MY OKCUPID PROFILE, AND MY YOUTUBE ACCOUNT IS A LIE", he expects everyone to simply ignore everything that is not on one of the sites.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:Troll Rage (Obama-style).PNG]] All five parts of it. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:38, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Sheep, man, you got this all wrong. Chris logic isn't as complex as 'negative tone = lie'. It's even more simple than that. It's 'something he disagrees with = lie'. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

And on a seperate note: Damn. You guys move fucking fast. How the hell do trolls find shit like this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:08, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Don't tell Chris but there's a bug in his DSi. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::If that's true then DAMN does Clyde have moles in Sony ''and'' Nintendo?? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Clyde secretly is the real Shigeru Miyamoto. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

I have to agree with OFSheep, the problem with Chris is that he wants attention, and he has to PUT SONICHU EVERYWHERE, and stuff his ego into every orifice.
He will always have the unwanted attention, until he learns to stop attracting it. but he can't do that, just like chris will stop being called gay when he stops denying it by dressing up like a homo [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 18:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Animation==
A crappy animation was just posted on Chris's FH profile, though it could be the work of trolls, so someone with more behind the scenes information should add this.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 17:38, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*Wow, that's something an eight year old whose parents buy him twelve iPhones a year could do in a minute. I'm still waiting for Bob to finally ban him from the computer and the DSi. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:UltimateNightmareFlipnote.png|thumb|Just kinda weird, really.]]
::I dunno. It's crappy enough to be a Chris-Chan creation, but it seems like it's a step above him all the same. The whole "Really slow guy with annoying beep" is something Chris would probably consider a nightmare, sure, but I don't get why he would make this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
::Fuck it, adding now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:55, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:: I'd say it's the work of trolls, compare the handwritting with the others, besides, the guy is standing on straight lines, an impossible feat for chris, and the video description is too elaborate to be chris's.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:01, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*cries a bit* This is the most beautiful thing ever.... [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]
::: Do you think the trolls managed to hack into Chris's Flipnote Hatena account? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: unless someone stole his DSi, this is chris. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
Holy fucking shit this is creepy. [[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 14:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's autism just evolved to Ulillillia's level. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't really think they're even close to eachother. Uilillillia's crazy, but he's the innocent sort of crazy.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Yes, but this just the kind of animation Ulillillia would make. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:39, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Not nearly enough parallax or supernaturality to be an Ulillillia animation. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Does this remind anyone else of that Suicide Mouse video that /x/ put out there a while ago? Same concept, a thing walking on a loop with a weird, repetitive noise in the background. Except this is shitty and not creepy like the other one. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 19:07, 22 June 2010 (UTC))
:*this one is also creepy, but mostly because of the annoying beep and emptyness.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:19, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:**It's like David Lynch minus the artistic integrity/batshit insanity/baby puppet apparently made from a cow fetus. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==CWC Got Told==

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000#535E907031CED2BB-c11539868617741172339 Comment #8] by Foxstar(id: Rashala) "Please do not post on my channel ever again". I'm looking to see what I can find that would cause him/her to say this. Anyone know?
:Nothing by foxstar is on Chris's comment list and I'm not about to go through a 3 pages and god only knows how many comments of furfag content trying to find a Chris comment that might not even exist. It's probably just some faggot begging for attention.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Because Chris linked his stupid video to her 4chan channel which has nothing to do with the ACTUAL 4chan since chris is a lazy so...yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:38, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== "Bill for Anti-Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" ==

The "Bill" part of that just hit me. Chris wants to make talking bad about people on the internet illegal. Again.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to believe that he's gonna bring up this idea again sooner rather than later. If he does, new content for Chris and law.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*Not only did that suck, but it was also just a quick mod to the original, much like Youtube Poops, which are still funnier than anything he's ever done. Also, [http://chrisisagaytrucker.ytmnd.com the GIF got YTMND'd.] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

The really sad thing is, once again, the actual message goes completely over his head. The song basically says if you get trolled, you brought it upon yourself for being a naive retard. It's about personal responsibility, a concept alien and threatening to Chris. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:18, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:Well I guess his "Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" against the evil Mary Lee Walsh, this greedy Micheal Snyder, etc, doesn't count. He's above the law after all, of course. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

== New Flipnote Animation - "HippoOnYourHead" ==

Chris uploaded more random access humor on the flipnote, as evidenced [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user|here]http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Flipnote_Hatena&action=edit&section=6

He seems to be trying to garner ratings with his little plea at the end.
[[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 16:51, 24 June 2010 (UTC)ScottBNickles
:lolwut?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:55, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:<s>What does that message in the end mean? "Please add one green or a bunch of yellow" is that more RAH?</s> Disregard that, now i understand what it means.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::Where did he get "Buck Williams" from? [[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 17:14, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::A quick google search shows that buck williams is a basketball player and character from the Left Behind books. knowing chris' readin habits, i suppose he refers to the former.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:34, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm still wondering what inspired the hippo part and the letter. Possible ripoff of things he's seen on the internet or Flipnote Hanata? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::[[Random-access humor]] He's been using the phrase for YEARS. he can't even have new original random access humor. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::I knew about that, but I have a feeling I've heard the hippo part somewhere before. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:27, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::Regina E-mails. She actually calls him out on it, but he just sort of blows her off.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::: @Eniggy Maybe Hungry Hungry Hippoes? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
:::::::::Nah, never had one as a kid, but my memory is thinking it has to do with the internet. Then again, my brain's probably skewered the memory I had of it now, so I've probably forgotten and confused enough of it that I'll probably never figure out where I heard it from. Oh, well, that's life, I guess. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Did Chris actually draw this? Cuz that animation is kinda...good [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 03:54, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, but it looks like frames drawn in MS Paint. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 03:56, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::Fuck,if Chris spent all the time he wasted on Sonichu doing shit like this he might actually have accomplished anything. I mean, it's not really anything of any quality but considering this is Chris, it's the motherfucking Mona Lisa. I mean...it actually looks like it was drawn by someone over six...-[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:01, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Additionally, the handwriting shown in the letter(Dear Sir blah blah) is actually kinda neat. Comparing that to Chris's usual handwriting which looks like he stuck a pencil up his ass and made like a dog with worms just makes me more skeptical as to whether this was done by Chris -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:07, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Much like that stop-motion lego race video he made, if a Gameboy is his medium, he's a passable artist. What he fails at is sculpture, illustration, and singing/song writing. Too bad he's convinced himself he's a savant in all those things. --{User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:10, 25 June 2010(UTC)
:::Personally, I'm giving it two days until we discover where he ripped that off from or which troll made it for him. Chris can't write like a normal human being. Period. -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:18, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Someone needs to make ripoffs of these, claim they're originals, and then accuse Chris of copying. And then an army of trolls needs to back the ripoffs up as the 'True and Honest' originals. -[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 04:30, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
::::: It won't work. These things have upload dates on them. Our supposed originals would be uploaded later and would show it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:48, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== Youtube mirrors? ==

Chris's first two flipnotes could be summed up with a single screencap, and the troll song was just Chris vandalizing a few frames, but if the hippo thing is any indication, Chris has turned to his DS for all his fame-whore needs. It would be much easier to display this stuff if we could just compile them into youtube videos. Is it even possible to save these things?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:44, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oME_VeGVZo .--[[User:J0haely|J0haely]]19:13, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::brb making YouTube Poop of it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Awesome job with the videos, but I guess we need some new templates for Chris's animations. It seems to me that we'll be getting these instead of new videos for the immediate future.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:06, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Cool, but can you make one of the 8-Bit video? --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 6:11 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::<s>The original 8-bit or chris's plagiarism?</s> Disregard that. here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIHni4FDTK4 [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 12:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== 8-Bit ==
Has anyone told this poor man that an autistic manchild has bastardized his animation and used it in his own war against trolls? He should be given a link to the CWCki at the very least. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:42, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:I started an account to post on all his things, so I or Beat or someone else might have to do this.

EDIT: Just told 8-Bit in a post with a link to this article and the CWCki. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 22:29, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:Good man! If we're lucky then this 8-Bit guy might be able to give us his say. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:49, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== More Random Access Humor ==

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A92F380B0_002?in=user

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A97E15FBC_002?in=user

God, I can't understand what the fuck he's saying any of these. --[[User:MonkeySorski|MonkeySorski]] 15:34, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:I can tell you one thing... the "why'd you hit me" gag is from Drake and Josh. Moar plagiarizing! -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:39, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

File talk:03-captain-howdy.jpg

2010-06-20T20:54:31Z

Captainhowdy:

Chris in a few years.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 20:37, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:He will never be that skinny. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 20:54, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

User:Captainhowdy

2010-06-20T20:28:59Z

Captainhowdy:

{{americunt}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{kitty}}
{{straight}}

[[File:03-captain-howdy.jpg|frame|center|Keep a happy thought.‎]]

<3

File:03-captain-howdy.jpg

2010-06-20T20:26:35Z

Captainhowdy:

User talk:Captainhowdy

2010-06-20T08:31:45Z

Captainhowdy:

No exorcist image on a captain howdy page? disgraceful.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 08:06, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:But that would give me away! - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 08:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Your a demon! the only thing you have to fear is John and Dave! (cookiee for the reference)--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 08:17, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::: Sorry. No cookies for me :( - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 08:19, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::http://www.johndiesattheend.com/ (Read it) --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 08:23, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::: O.o haha - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 08:31, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Captainhowdy

2010-06-20T08:19:37Z

Captainhowdy:

User talk:Captainhowdy

2010-06-20T08:15:42Z

Captainhowdy:

User:Captainhowdy

2010-06-20T08:00:23Z

Captainhowdy: Created page with '{{americunt}} {{Weeaboo}} {{kitty}} {{straight}} <3'

{{americunt}}
{{Weeaboo}}
{{kitty}}
{{straight}}

<3

Cole Smithey

2010-06-20T07:53:46Z

Captainhowdy:

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]}}

{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|Barbara, [[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email #1]]}}

[[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|right|thumb|Cole: The [[Liquid|antithesis]] of Chris.]]

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. Cole's emails to Chris revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather Jerry with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." Bob isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara has lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==

[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being 19 years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the PaRappa contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his email in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY EMAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

==Cole in the comics==

Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the Pichu who'd become [[Rosechu]]. This means that even his ''brother'' is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==

Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, is the self-confessed "smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays wicked guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 3]]</ref>

==Cole causes controversy==

On June 18th, 2010, Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''Toy Story 3'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[internet]] infamy runs in the family. Consider however he has a brother who will never do what Andy did at the end of the film (and hopefully [[Pedofork|Chris won't emulate it himself]]), and there might be some good reasoning for Cole's dislike of the film.

Of course Chris being Chris, he came to his brother's defense with an all-caps response of "LEAVE MY BROTHER ALONE!!!" within the Rotten Tomatoes comment thread.<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775&c_page=11], comment #214</ref> Or maybe this was just a troll.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if [[Barbara]] had any involvement with the CD
Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 [[March 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG
Image:Cole 07-03-06-4.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-21.PNG|21 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-23.PNG|23 [[July 2007]] email
Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 [[July 2007]] emails
Image:Cole 07-07-24-2.PNG
Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG
Image:leavemybrotheralone.png|Cole's review of ''Toy Story 3'' and Chris's defense of it.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]