CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sammy

2013-01-05T11:16:58Z

Charcole125: /* Gallery */

{{quote|Hmm...I feel as silly as the time I temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch [[television]] at [[Ghostbusters|ghost command]].|Chris, confusing his [[obesity]] and idiocy as being in the past tense.}}

[[Image:sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris (left) conversing with his svelte, slim-'n'-trim comic book counterpart (right)]]

'''Sammy''' is a character that [[Chris]] created for a [[Ghostbusters]] [[Sonichu 7#The Family Guy .22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] that is blatantly based on [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]], lead character of the animated series ''[[Family Guy]]''.

The "skitch" consisted of Sammy wanting to use the bathroom, only to find it occupied. He then confuses the transformation booth as another toilet, when suddenly he is [[Random-access humor|hilariously]] thrown around a large spooky area that changed his clothing into the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' uniform, before finally [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|defecating]] in an early 20th century vehicle that can talk and feel pain.

Chris promised Sammy could return in another issue, if needed in another sketch and also let him keep his clothes, which miraculously, due to their incredible elasticity, fit him perfectly.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_15]</ref>

Funnily, Sammy's physical appearance and personality resemble Chris in real life far more than [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|how Chris portrays himself]] in his [[comic]]s (where he appears more slender), due to Sammy's massive girth and sheer retardedness. Sammy is also depicted wearing [[glasses]] (something Chris has shown pride in doing) but the regular comic version of Chris is not. His appearance even ends with Sammy [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting himself]]. Could Sammy in fact be a Freudian "Mary Sue" for Chris? {{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|This is hugely insensitive to overweight people.
Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|Chris... Sammy... [[Family Guy|Peter]]...? Erm.
Image:Chrisvssammy.jpg|Whoa.
Image:764px-ExcuseMe.JPG|Rule 34'd
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references />

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
*[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]
*[[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Chris's alter egos]]

(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise

2011-11-08T13:06:05Z

Charcole125:

[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|C-Chan up in dis mothafucka.]]
[[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|thumb|Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone]]

"'''(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise'''" is Chris's version of [[Wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Gangsta's Paradise|Gangsta's Paradise]]", featured in his second album, ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]''. The song deals with Chris's struggle against [[Clyde Cash]] from Clyde's point of view.
{{-}}
==Listen==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KwnraluG1Lk}}
| stardate = [[April 2009]]
| subject = [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
| style =
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]
| next = [[CWC Like a Virgin]]
}}
===Lyrics===
[[Image:Coolio13.jpg|thumb|Coolio's reaction to hearing this song.]]
[''sung over Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"'']

As I walk through the valley of wallow and dark shame 
I take a look at my life and I realize there's nothing here 
Cuz I've been blastin' and laughin' so long, that 
Even my [[Barbara Chandler|mama]] thinks that my [[Chris and psychology|mind is gone]]

But I ain't never left my [[computer]], dog gone it 
Me be [[Kick the Autistic|treated like a punk]], I take it out on that guy 
[[Chris and hypocrisy|I have too much stress and free time, I can't enjoy it]] 
I am a stressed homeboy imprisoned in [[lulz]]

A cheap laugh on that guy's lone expense 
As they croak I see myself worse off than that fool 
I'm the kinda 'G' no one gives a cryin' dime to care 
On my knees in the night ''(sped up)'' 
Saying prayers in the LCD light

We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradi~ise 
We been spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

Look at the situation, they got me facin' 
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the street 
So I gotta lay it down as [[Clyde Cash|Clyde No-cash]] 
Too much [[Internet]] surfin' got me tauntin' dreams

I'm an stupid 'lil fool with [[Kimmi|fake sex]] on my mind 
Got my mouse in my hand and a [[Semen|soda]]-stained keyboard 
I'm loc'd in [[Punchy|ninja]] ding dang ganger 
I keep my homies not here, so I'm a lonely dope, G 

[[Bob|...eath ai-ain't nothing but a heartbeat away]] 
I'm livin life, yo, do or die, what can I say? 
I'm [[BlueSpike|thirteen]] now, but will I live to see any-MOE?! 
The way things are going I don't know

...me why are why are so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you and me ''(sings 2 times faster)'' 
The... things... we... see... ''(catches up)'' ...hurt are you and me?

We... we...

W-w-we b-been spending most of our lives 
Living in a [[fail|gang--|trollsta's paradise]] 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a grollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

Power and [[Chris and money|no money]], money and no power 
Minute after minute, hour after hour 
Everybody's typing, but half of them ain't carin' 
... It's growing on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's hangin'

They gotta learn lame words, learnin' to- er- teach me 
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me 
I guess they can't, I guess they won't 
I guess I front, that's why I know my life is not well spent, G.

We been spending most of our lives 
Living in the trollsta's paradise 
We been spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise 
We keep spending most of our lives 
Living in a trollsta's paradise

Tell me why are we, so blind to see, that the ones we hurt 
Are you and me? ''(pause)'' Tell me why! We are we! 
So blind to see! The ones we hurt! Are you and me! ''(pause)'' 
''(catches up)'' ...ones we hurt are you and me?

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Clyde's Trollsta's Paradise}}
[[Category:Yo! CWC Raps]]
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]

File:HNI 0022.JPG

2011-11-08T08:55:23Z

Charcole125: uploaded a new version of "File:HNI 0022.JPG": Reverted to version as of 23:27, 4 November 2011

Calling Out

2011-08-08T02:26:40Z

Charcole125:

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of three [[videos]] Chris uploaded on 6 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
This video, also known as '''101 2461''' , Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information as to the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka Don). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|right|"...They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
''[Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right]''

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a TV-Y7 rated...[[Chris and english|friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]...it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

''[Jerks camera around more]''

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate negotiations and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years...n- for the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have some information of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and english|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]...or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. ''[Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.]''

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network|PlayStation Network]] hackings...directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment [[Anime|Japan]] with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to...Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking the Playstation Network and all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal-Pals|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me...and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would also like you to set me to send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long small, white envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cr-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki|CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done things things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out "Thorg, aka Jeremy, ([[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again, sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbully, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And here is a sample of his [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[media:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- and had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Lie|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands - 31 August, 2011, or else [[jerkops|the authorities]] will intervene.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
''[Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face]''

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August, 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31... 2011.

''[Fumbles with the camera again, [[Honor Roll|almost dropping it]]]''

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-06]]

File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg

2011-08-08T02:22:36Z

Charcole125:

Harvey Birdman Commercial

2010-12-03T09:13:58Z

Charcole125:

In February [[2005]], Cartoon Network held a contest inviting viewers to make a '''commercial''' for the ''[[Wikipedia:Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law|Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law]] Vol. 1'' DVD set (or ''[[Speech impediment|Harvey Dirdban]]'', as Chris seems to pronounce it). Always willing to earn fame and fortune with minimal effort, [[Christian]] stepped up and produced an advertisement promoting:

* Himself
* His eternal rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
* [[Sonichu]]
* ...Harvey Birdman

The terms "Christian Weston Chandler" and "brevity" do not go hand in hand, but due to the contest rules specifying 28-30 second entries, Chris delivers his pitch at a manic pace rather than omitting anything from his agenda. One can only imagine the seventeen-minute ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' presentation Chris would have delivered, had he been allowed.

Chris did not win the contest, or even place in the top five. This inspired him to post a complaint on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] (to be precise, he posted the same complaint twice), but, for some reason, Chris's idea of justice was never served.

The commercial appears in somewhat poor quality on Chris's [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]], but he also uploaded a better version of the same footage to his original [[YouTube]] account some time prior to October 31, [[2007]].

==Appearance==

Chris's weight has fluctuated wildly, and during this period in his life he actually wasn't that [[fat]]. Not as fat as now, anyway. Also, if Chris were to record this today, he would almost certainly tear off his [[glasses]] for maximum effect.

==Chris's entry==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Harvey Birdman Commercial
| image = {{#ev:youtube|9nrvreL3hdc}}
| Stardate = 24 [[February 2005]]
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Subject Matter = {{Television|text}}; Contest
| Performance Style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| Other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl]]
| next = [[Pixelated_PS3#Video|Pixelated PS3]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

HELLO! I hired Harvey [[Speech Impediment|Dirdban]], Attorney at Law, to help ME, Christian Weston Chandler, in my case against Mary Lee Walsh, who, years ago, shattered my heart. And he has won the case for me, and he has won for me... a Harvey Birdman two-disc DVD box set which comes out April 12, 2005!

Features deleted scenes! Live-action open! Casting what-ifs and [[Wikipedia:Stephen Colbert|Stephen Colbert]] ''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Miyamoto|incorrectly pronounced]] "Cole-burt"]'' and [[Wikipedia:Todd Barry|Todd Barry]] as Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law! Harvey Birdman movie! "Shaggy Busted" pencil tests! And episode commentary!

Let Harvey Birdman work for you!

[[Chris and his Ego|This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu production]]. Thank you very much! [''Nazi salute'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[So Need a Cute Girl]]|nextlink=[[Pixelated PS3]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Muscle bra

2010-10-28T00:00:38Z

Charcole125: /* The bra e-mail */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris in [[#the bra e-mail|the bra e-mail]]}}

[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his [[Barb|mom]]'s) bra]]
'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].

The muscle bra, also known as '''the Muscle Bra of Fail''', first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.

Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:

{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly pecs, they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris exhibiting his bizarre method of "not getting it" in [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]}}
==Chris and bras==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|Chris after converting his bra into a wearable [[attraction sign]]]]
[[File:Wantwoman.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]

Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. In the [[April 2010]] video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he strongly insisted all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a [[law]]. It is likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to appear straighter than [[straight]].

Despite saying that other men's chests are ugly, he has [[Chris and hypocrisy|no problem]] depicting [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] [[:File:CWCFlex.jpg|shirtless]], ''without'' the bra, as in his ideal self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no such support.

In the real world, though, Chris presumably finds his muscle bra to be a necessity, given his [[Chris and health|unusually large breasts]]. Due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well - or, more likely, he simply wants to rationalize the fact that he needs one because of his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding the actual reason for him wearing his fashionable sports bra.

Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra so much that the same month [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale gray one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras. Given that things never get cleaner in the Chandler household, only filthier, this seems a safe assumption to make. We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. This suggests Chris has at least six bras. Chris also reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.

In [[June 2010]] Chris went to [[Fridays After Five]], where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seems that Chris has also found another use for muscle bras, demonstrated by vandalizing his bra with a marker pen and converting it into an [[attraction sign]]. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a T-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of [[Love Quest|making his]]. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he ''just doesn't understand how those relationships work'', which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.

Chris may have actually had a fetish for wearing women's underwear longer than we think. Likely, the fetish began when [[Blanca]] made him dress in his [[mother]]'s undergarments. For a period, he seems to have struggled with his urges — one image, drawn around the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], inexplicably shows [[Punchy Sonichu]] wearing a bra — and since he did not buy his sports bra until later in the year, we can only conclude that he was wrestling with his desire to steal his mother's underwear to support his manboobs.
{{clear}}

==The bra e-mail==
[[File:CWC tits.jpg|thumb]]
The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed.

<blockquote>
(omitted stuff)...

[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]]. 

Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my bust size; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. 

Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], Toys 'R' Us, Sheetz, Food Lion and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really ground my gears to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]. 

Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")|STUPID POWERWEB!]]<ref><s>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh</s> Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth. 

<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*

But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.

Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine. 

I'll TTYL, 
Stay Safe, 
Chris.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery>

===Animated gifs===

[[Image:127193894817.gif]]
[[Image:127193932971.gif]]

[[Image:127193992465.gif]]
[[Image:127193999352.gif]]

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]
*[http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArBejoyhqBdCwpev_B8FBg4gBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090727052138AAL0i56 Chris's inspiring others to revolutionize men's fashion!!111]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Chris and sex

2010-10-20T13:11:20Z

Charcole125: /* Bestiality */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (a.k.a. "[[hanky-panky]]"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
<div style="clear:right; float:right;">{{showhide|title=Show me some Chris Duck|width=225px|content=[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]}}</div>
In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl, as he admitted in a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart.

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high-school sex education, plus pornography. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, though he sticks by them religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies sound exactly like attempts to re-create what he's seen in porno movies, as opposed to any experience human beings might actually find pleasurable. Take for instance his assumption that [[Kacey]] would get off on a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in ''Sonichu'' is a contradiction in terms (although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], Chris manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position — [[Chris and Sex#Chris in the act|with himself on top]]). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards women. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Mariana Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes […]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex and/or a girlfriend.
* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around eleven). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. \Sixteen was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
* Going with the above, in the "[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]", Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "[[hanky panky]]" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the Mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form (this would support the furry argument). Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref> It is unknown what qualities and traits he considers "sexy" for a dog.
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been some exceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]), but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He has also admitted to being aroused by said drawings<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit. </ref>. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. It has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has [[Chris and tolerance|prejudice]] against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]]<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being an only child, he has no experience with filial relationships, and autism ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him over [[Mumble]]. He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves girl-on-girl. He can't empathize with the parties involved, and only sees it in terms of how disgusting ''for him'' it would be to watch.

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly.

==Rape==
{{main|Chris and rape}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Man in the Pickle Suit

2010-10-11T21:52:58Z

Charcole125:

{{quote|The man in the pickle suit tricked me again!|Christian Weston Chandler}}
{{quote|HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CASH]]!|Chris on the Cucumber People}}

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: DancingPickleMan.gif]] </div>

[[Image:Ze_Pickleman.jpg|thumb|The Man in the Pickle Suit in its natural habitat, devouring a herd of [[sonee]]s]]
[[File:Pickle surprise.jpg|thumb|Suspect]]

The '''Man in the Pickle Suit''' (also known as the '''MPS''') is the arch-nemesis of [[Chris]] whom he used to blame whenever he is tricked or conned.

Chris actually believes this is a real person. Since he also believes said [[niggos|negro]] is after him and behind all the recent trollings, basically everyone can become the [[Pickle]] Suit Man. As such, The Man in the Pickle Suit has now become the figure as whom most [[trolls]] anonymize.

Oddly, even though Chris turns basically everyone that [[Kick the Autistic|annoys him]] into a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villain]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|shitty comic]], the Man in the Pickle Suit has been spared. The closest it got was when [[Clyde Cash|"Cly"]] fought Chris using a goddamn ''Pickle Gun''. A gun. Shaped like a pickle. That ''shot'' pickles. He never manages to actually hit Chris with it, so there's no way to tell how much damage a fucking pickle would actually do.

== Origin ==

[[Lordsillynipples]] is the one true creator of the pickle negro. After posing as [[Blanca|Blanca Weiss]] to troll CWC in early August 2008, using a fake [[MySpace]] page, silly made Chris believe that Blanca was indeed a black transvestite in a pickle costume by suddenly revealing a new version of the MySpace. Ever since then, Chris has feared the picklepeople.

{{quote|I don’t know who that guy is and I don’t think I really would care to know.|[[Chris]] on the Man in the Pickle Suit - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}

== The Jew in the Pickle Suit ==

This Pickle Man, at great personal risk, rescued [[Emily]] from the horrific date with Chris IRL. He also accompanied [[Robert Simmons V]] to his [[Church audio|visit]] to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Christian's Church]] disguised as an average civilian.

==The Pickleman today==
[[File:Realpickle1.png|thumb|Shit just got real]]

Rumor says that the man in the pickle suit now leads a calm and relaxing life in the nude beaches of [[Molvanîa]] where he and the Molvanîan people exchange ways to troll Chris.

However, recent information has emerged on the MPS, given a video recently posted on his newly-established [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheNationofPickleMen YouTube Channel] that suggests he has come out of retirement one last time to deal a final crushing blow upon the manchild.

==Selected videos==
*11 September 2008: [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008]], where Chris is first trolled by the Pickle Man.
*21 October 2008: [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]], where Chris crashes into slumber after the Pickle Man breaks up his relationship with [[Blanca]].
*17 March 2010: [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]], where Chris accuses [[Surfshack Tito]] of being a "pickle-suited nigger."

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Pickleslol.jpg|One artist's depiction of the Man in the Pickle Suit.
Image:Black_man_in_pickle_suit.jpg|The man in the pickle suit looking awesome.
Image:MPSGotReal.jpg|That's no suit, Chris.
Image:FC07.jpg|He is real. Very real.
Image:Read This One.jpg|Despite including this warning, in which he suspected the user of being the Man in the Pickle Suit, he sent this user pictures of him in his mother's underwear and bra. IN THE SAME EMAIL.
Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|The Man in the Pickle Suit is an ancient title passed on from one troll to another. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Geoffrey Weston the Feeble Minded (a possible early ancestor to [[Daniel Weston]]) is tricked by "The Man Donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit."
Image:FightPickleman.jpg|The weaboo version of the Man in the Pickle Suit.
Image:CucumberMan.jpg|WHO IS THE CUCUMBER MAN?

</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.myspace.com/kawaiikitsune123 TMITPS' Myspace page.]
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Man-in-the-Pickle-Suit/178569036183 The Man In The Pickle Suit On Facebook.]

{{Trolls}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Villains]]

File:Pickle surprise.jpg

2010-10-11T21:50:18Z

Charcole125: