CWCki - User contributions [en]

Hooker incident

2022-02-24T14:52:57Z

Cheeseburgerfreedomman: change i transcript. i think chris says oh i see but i could be wrong

The '''hooker incident''' was an act of trolling in which [[Bryan Bash]] sent a gaggle of [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]] [[Carlos Chantor|prostitutes]] to [[14 Branchland Court]] on 19 [[March 2009]] so Chris would no longer need to be a [[virgin with rage]].

==Background==
After Chris's failed date with [[Emily]] was ambushed by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] on 19 March, Chris came home only to find that a mysterious benefactor had provided him with a group of "escorts" to help him divest himself of his virginity.

==Result==
Chris literally started crying and his parents called the [[jerkop|police]]. During his phone conversation with Emily, who else but [[Clyde Cash]] should show up and claim responsibility for the whole incident.

===Aftermath===
Clyde Cash took the fall for it in a phone call, right after [[Emily#Post-date_conversation|Emily's post-date conversation]].

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = The Aftermath of the Hooker Incident
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|qBjuoPpkWi4}}
| Stardate = 19 March 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Clyde Cash]]; [[Bryan Bash]]; [[Barbara Chandler]]
| Subject = The Hooker Incident
| Saga = {{Emily|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
}}

 '''Clyde:''' [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hello?
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, who is this?
 '''Clyde:''' It's Clyde.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, I see
 '''Clyde:''' You want to say "hi" to Emily? She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh, I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How, how’d that work out for you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh? Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being, being sent over, and, uh, they re—, and they reported them to the [[Jerkop|police]], and they got turned in, and, uh...yeah, we did not appreciate that.
 '''Clyde:''' Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find [[Sweetheart from the ground up|true love]].
 '''Clyde:''' [[Chris and sex|Sex]] is not true love, Chris.
 [''Chris talking in the background, indistinct'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay? I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more [[JERKS|evil men]] in this world.
 '''Barbara:''' I don't know who you think you are.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' I said I don't know who you think you are.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.
 '''Barbara:''' But I’m telling you to both, uh, uh, t-, to cease bothering us, okay?
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.
 '''Barbara:''' [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.
 '''Bryan Bash:''' [[Random-access humor|Is your refrigerator running?]]
 '''Barbara:''' Back off!
 '''Bryan Bash:''' Uoahh!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us any more. Goodbye!
 '''Bryan Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poké Flute<ref>The [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Poké_Flute Poké Flute] is an item used in ''[[Pokémon]]'' games to wake up a [[Snorlax]]</ref>, quick!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay! [''inarticulate yell'']

===Return to hookers?===
In [[July 2010]], Chris expressed interest in hiring prostitutes of his own accord, posting on the [[CWCki]] under the guise of [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{Quote|Something else that has piqued my curiousity [sic], from the Hooker incident, I'm wondering from which luscious company or group Bryan Bash the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D|"[[JenkinsJinkies]]"<ref>[[User talk:JenkinsJinkies]]</ref>}}

On 12 [[April 2012]], a leaked [[Facebook]] post revealed that Chris had lost [[Virgin with rage|his virginity]]. The post made suggestions--later confirmed--that Chris had indeed hired a [[Mia Hamm|hooker]].

== See Also ==
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Mia Hamm]] - hooker who Chris would later have sex with
* [[Carlos Chantor]] - Chris as the hooker
* [[Stephanie Bustcakes]] - Chris as the hooker (again)

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{EmilySaga}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Death threats

2021-10-28T14:54:07Z

Cheeseburgerfreedomman: Added changes due to recent events

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

{{quote|You Haters MAY Laugh At Yourselves Now, but you all will be laughing out the other side of your face when Fate, Destiny and Karma smacks you Hard and Rough. Even Possible, I’ll have a tangible lightning bolt in my hand, and we’ll see if you survive being Paralyzed or worse.|Chris's reaction to the pizza prank trolls<ref name=pizza>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>.}}

[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

Despite his belief that he is a compassionate, [[GodJesus]]-fearing person (or a loving goddess), Chris often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. While it's clear that Chris is no legitimate threat to anyone's lives, the murderous revenge fantasies he has are frequently disturbing in their nature, especially for the often juvenile motivation for such threats. These '''death threats''' have become increasingly common since [[2009]].

Due to [[Incest|recent events]] it is unlikely that Chris will be publishing any more death threats for the forseeable future.

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, shouting into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is. Lately, however, his preferred method of delivery seems to be [[Facebook]], and he has even gone a step beyond what he usually does by trying to post pictures and the personal information of his targets, almost as if he expects the trolls to suddenly take his side and go after them instead of him. ''('''Spoiler:''' They won't.)''

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily accumulated over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While it was once a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats targeted Adam Stackhouse, the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna (Anna Stackhouse, not to be confused with [[Anna McLerran]]) in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst from a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place contestants) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [https://sonichu.com/cwcki/YouTube YouTube].

In a rare display of conscience, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologized]] for this death threat...about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and [[Clyde]] murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy--[[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and Clyde on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[ED]] page that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being brutally slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped'' by [[Rosechu]]. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris subtly expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[GodJesus]] in his murder plot. [[Chris and religion|They have yet to respond]].

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by someone Chris thought was him?

{{quote|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I WILL...POUND HIS LIGHTS OUT! IF I EVER MEET THAT BASTARD...IN PERSON.'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], Clyde Cash has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive in its own right. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or kept his demands for their deaths relatively infrequent. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

Chris posted [[Don't Mess With Me| another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, intended as an ominous warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he, dressed as [[You Think You're a Man|Divine]], [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===
[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] made a number of videos raging against [[Liquid Chris|the real Chris]], but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Ian manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Ian reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Ian depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Ian produces a handgun ([[Megatron pistol|possibly Decepticon leader Megatron in disguise]]), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Ian missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Ian also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===Vivian Gee===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a broken piece of wood.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter from Chris.]]

Vivian revealed in a now-deleted YouTube video that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an e-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have the Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later apologized for the threatening message. While the apology was more like begging for [[Financhu_Crisis|money]] than a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same MediaWiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog [[Patti]] maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the {{w|2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti}}. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the Law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the Internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, but he never realised both the CWCki and the CWCipedia had the same webmaster.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked into Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Scotland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a nigger; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The CWCipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris addressed to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claimed that he would [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ended the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in ''LBP2''. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that [[The GAMe PLACe]] would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

The infamous [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur leak] would also reveal multiple wishes made by Chris that Michael should die, including one where he wished Snyder was murdered by gunshot.

===Mimms' Girlfriend===
{{quote|I still want to make Mimms' life the emotional hell he has turned my life into. Somebody, please, kill his girlfriend.|A leaked [[Twitter]] post from 12 [[May 2012]].}}

An archive of his hidden Facebook posts on Imgur revealed an enraged Chris demanding that somebody kill Mimms' girlfriend, claiming that he wanted to take away the "[[Women's rights|possession]]" that made Mimms feel happy the most.

===[[Megan Schroeder]]===
A [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png leaked Facebook post] revealed that Chris thought Megan was "Queen of the trolls" , and that he wanted to "exact his fullest revenge" upon her, right before saying that she should be [[Sonichu_10#Trial_of_the_Asperpedia_Four|jailed and beaten]]. He then follows up this very mean-spirited post by calling ''her'' "vile" and "wicked".

===[[CWCki Forums]]===

On 28 April 2012, Chris made the declaration that he found the CWCki Forums, that he knows where each member lives, and that he'll come after each of them.

===[[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] [[CWC-isms|"Lady Manajerk"]]===

After getting his ass [[Mal-Wart#Banished_from_the_region|(rightfully) tossed from Wal-Mart]] by the [[manajerks|manajerk]], Chris threw a tantrum on Facebook, saying that he'll have revenge, and that she would be "FIRED FROM LIFE!"

===Every Single Employee of Sega===
{{Main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

Even the creators of Chris's childhood hero are not safe from death threats. You might think this was because of one (or more) of their horribly underwhelming Sonic games of recent years, but no- Chris made this threat because the 2014 game ''Sonic Boom'' (and the accompanying TV series) changed the color of Sonic's arms from tan to blue.

{{Quote|You Either Recall EVERYTHING of the new Sonic Boom, RIGHT NOW, or I will Seriously RIP HIS ARMS OFF and Seriously '''Watch You All At SEGA DIE''' from this most Heinous Of Crimes EVER!!!|Chris, in a typical demonstration of where his priorities are.}}

Oh, and in case you're wondering whose arms Chris was threatening to possibly rip off, the [[Facebook]] post which contained this death threat was accompanied by a shot of an angry Chris holding a soft toy Sonic based off of the ''Sonic Boom'' design. Needless to say, many of his Facebook friends, including [[William Elliott Waterman]], immediately called him out for this absurd overreaction, to no avail. The following month, Chris escalated matters by posting the following to the "[[Keep Sonic Original]]" Facebook group:

{{Quote|WE NEED TO KILL SEGA INTO RECALLING EVERYTHING NOW!!! EVEN IF WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE PUT KNIVES AND BOMBS TO THEIR TROATS!!!|What happens when Chris doesn't get his way.}}

Not surprisingly, Chris was ejected from the group almost immediately. Undeterred, he set up [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|his own group]], where he began making cryptic remarks about putting his "fingernails to Sega's throat." When others questioned him on what exactly he was talking about, he confirmed that yes, this was indeed ''another'' death threat:

{{Quote|But, now I am looking to '''slit their throats''' with my long fingernails to force the Total Recall of Everything Sonic Boom to Fix the Mistake to happen SOONER!|Chris, revealing his unusual choice of assassination weapons.}}

Sega never reacted to Chris's demands, not that this stopped him from continuing his ''Sonic Boom'' protests, and even [[26 December 2014|escalating them]] to previously unseen levels.

On 9 [[June 2015]], Chris threatened Sega producer [[Omar Woodley]] with physical violence after it was revealed that ''Sonic Boom: Fire & Ice'' will be a thing.

===Donald Trump===
Chris has an intense hatred of President [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]], to the point that he made two videos of himself role-playing acts of violence on him with ''[[Transformers]]'' and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' toys,<ref>[[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Paid Message to the Trolls]]</ref><ref>[[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt]]</ref> while saying phrases such as "And now, we'll stomp Donald Trump's head".

Within hours of Trump's victory in the 2016 presidential election, Chris posted an [[November_2016_Facebook_posts#Chris_wants_Trump_assassinated|assassination request]] on Facebook. He also uploaded a [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|video]] of himself attacking one of his toys to show his anger.

It should be noted that calling death on the President of the United States is actually a major offense that can lead to you [http://mashable.com/2016/03/08/secret-service-trump-threats-twitter/#3Y_MJojwhPqB getting a visit from the Secret Service].

===Mike Pence===
On 10 November 2016, Chris also wished death to Vice President-elect {{w|Mike Pence}}, likely because he discovered his views can be arguably considered more malicious than Trump's, along with the President-elect Trump on [[Twitter#10 November 2016.3|a Twitter post]]. He wished for Trump and Pence's deaths by January 2017.

===[[Idea Guys]]===
On 4 July 2019, Chris expressed his impotent frustrations over the Idea Guys' actions from the year before:

{{quotebox|Realizing that it Had been quite, quite the while since I resumed a few days ago and when I ended up stopping in [[Sonichu 15|book 15]], thanks to the events involving Idea Guy and Johnson Wiles, I ended up messing up on [[Rosechu|Rosie]]’s young and short bosoms (I could KILL them Both after they, and Boyd, extorted Six Frigging Thousand Dollars from me during those developmental and Very Eventful Months, IN FULL, Plus Interest!).<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts#Patreon Post: From Start to Recent]]</ref>}}

===Pizza prank trolls===
On 5 August 2019, Chris was inconvenienced by trolls blacklisting him from Papa John's pizza delivery service. He wrote an angry tirade in which he invoked his [[CPU Blue Heart]] goddess fantasies:

{{quotebox|You Haters MAY Laugh At Yourselves Now, but you all will be laughing out the other side of your face when Fate, Destiny and Karma smacks you Hard and Rough. Even Possible, I’ll have a tangible lightning bolt in my hand, and we’ll see if you survive being Paralyzed or worse.<ref name=pizza></ref>}}

===Characters from Pony Life cartoon===
During [[November 2019]], Hasbro premiered a promo of a spin-off [[My Little Pony]] cartoon titled ''Pony Life'', as a replacement for the long-running ''Friendship is Magic''. An upset Chris complained bitterly, saying he was "Protesting to kill #GOPony."<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1195861845451722752</ref> As Chris believes cartoon characters are real in another [[dimension]] - and, in [[hypocrisy]], has warned Hasbro that ending ''Friendship is Magic'' would devastate that universe<ref>[[Hasbro! MLP G4 Must Continue; NO MLP G5]]</ref> - his announcement is tantamount to death threats against the inhabitants from ''Pony Life''.

===Other===
====[[Harry Potter]]====
Chris's extreme, irrational hatred of the series combined with [[Chris and reality#Fictional Characters and Media|his belief that fictional characters exist on a separate plane of reality]] eventually led him to [[:File:100-DarkCWC.jpg|threaten to kill Harry Potter]] through a Pokémon card.

Given his desire to kill Harry and his [[Chris and race|beliefs on race]], it could be inferred that Chris is a {{w|Death Eater}}.

==Chris as a recipient==
Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to [[pedofork|photograph his daughter]], this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the [[Ivy]] saga, Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref>.

==Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats==
As a bit of reassurance to anyone who thinks that Chris, a [[Autism|mentally ill man]] who has endured endless harassment from the [[trolls]] would one day [[Chris and anger|snap]] and [[Strangle_that_Clyde_Cash|attempt to kill somebody]], consider the following. For starters, Chris is a coward, and would likely [[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|run at the slightest hint of conflict]], possibly shitting himself in terror in the process. Secondly, Chris's poor [[Chris and Health|health]], [[Pull-up|lack of exercise]] and [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|slow reaction time]] would make being chased and overpowered by him in any instance a sheer impossibility unless the recipient is in[[Barb| far worse health than him]]. Also, Chris often assumes that his target would [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|simply stand there and let him carry out murder]], almost like an execution, and it's likely that should his target try to fight back, he'll be caught off guard. Last, but not least, Chris seems to prefer that his trolls come [[14 Branchland Court|directly to him]], as going out of his [[Chris%27s_room|comfort zone]] is far too much effort. Lest we forget, he [[Miyamoto_Saga#11_January_2009_to_15_January_2009:_Chris_Can.27t_Afford_to_Fly_to_Redmond|wouldn't even put up $800 to pursue his own lifelong dreams]], so what makes you think he'll even bother going after trolls, even ''if'' he [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|knew where they all lived]]?

Long story short, the most likely outcome of Chris attempting to follow up on his death threats would be a good old-fashioned round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

==See also==
*[[Chris and death]]
*[[Chris and anger]]
{{Template:Fantasies}}

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Fan visits

2021-10-26T20:37:24Z

Cheeseburgerfreedomman: Added a transcript.

{{Protip|If you're thinking about taking a trip to personally check on Barb after [[Incest|what's happened]], then don't. She has been through enough in the past few months as it is, and she is probably better off being left alone.}}

In recent years, Chris and/or Barb have occasionally been '''visited by fans''' at their [[14 Branchland Court|house]].

==Joey Vance==
[[File:JvanceandChris.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris with Joey (far left) and his brother.]]

On 18 [[October 2019]], '''Joey Vance''' and his older brother visited [[Sonichu Headquarters]] to meet Chris. Their accounts were posted on Reddit in r/ChrisChanSonichu the next day.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/dk6ttx/look_who_i_met_the_other_day_im_in_the_back_lol/ Original Post] ([http://archive.li/ZznCn Archive])</ref>

The two brothers were initially visiting [[Charlottesville]] and since [[Ruckersville]] just happens to be in their way, Joey decided to make the most of their time together to personally visit Chris. The overall visit was described as a calm experience between the two parties, with the older brother (known by his Reddit handle xv5qx) even giving a [[Sonic]] toy as a "peace offering". One interesting note Joey mentioned is the fact that Chris smells of [[weed]]. Whether the musk is the result of his usual poor [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|hygiene]] or his new [[Teen Troon Squad|drug habit]] is still up for debate.

===Audio===
Joey also recorded conversations regarding [[Jacob Sockness]].
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Chat with Christine Weston Chandler/Chris Chan
| ytid = HGXar9jLaq0
| stardate = 19 [[October 2019]]
| maker = Joey Vance 2
| previous = [[ChrisReleasesAStatementRegardingJacobSockness‎‎]]
| next = [[Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire]]
| subject = {{Jacob|text}}
}}

===Transcript===
[A [[Clover and Snoopy|dog]] is heard whining eerily throughout the video]

'''Chris''': [Faintly] Hello?

'''Joey's Brother''': Hey, are you Christian Chandler?

'''Chris''': Yes...

'''Joey's Brother''': We live in the area- sorry to bother you- we've been fans for a few years and stuff and...

'''Chris''': Thank you.

'''Joey's Brother''': though we'd kinda give some gifts

'''Chris''': Oh, thank you.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah.

'''Chris''': That's very nice.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah. Its nice to meet you dude.

'''Chris''': Yeah. It's nice to meet you both.

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah. Anyway, how have you been?

'''Chris''': I've been doing alright.

'''Joey's Brother''': That's cool.

'''Chris''': Ahh been doing very well, you knowsshh having to cope with [[Jacob_Sockness#Abortive_Virginia_trip|the events-]]

'''Joey's Brother''': Yeah, I- I heard about the- the situation with the guy, I'm sorry to hear about that.

'''Chris''': Well don't worry about that, it's all cool.

'''Joey's Brother''': We're all looking out for your best interests, and you definitely have our support so-

'''Chris''': Thank- [[Homos|I love your blue eyes.]]

'''Joey's Brother''': Oh, appreciate it. I you- [[Heterochromia|blue and green eyes]], they're really cool.

[Pause]

'''Joey's Brother''': That's awesome! Yeah. So, anyway, um is it cool if we get a selfie or something?

'''Chris''': Yeah-

==Aggravating Art==
[[File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto2.png|thumb|250px|Chris with Aggravating Art.]]
On 20 [[February 2021]], a Ruckersville local by the handle of '''Aggravating_Art_2982''', along with his older brother and his brother's girlfriend visited Chris and documented his experience on [[Reddit]]'s r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit.<ref>[https://old.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/lojfvv/me_and_my_brother_met_chris_today_ask_away/ Original Post] ([https://archive.md/MFjjm Archive])</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto1.png|Chris getting uncomfortably close with Aggravating Art's brother's girlfriend while looking like a stoned {{w|Rick Moranis}}.
File:Aggrevating ArtPhoto3.png|Aggravating Art on the gazebo.
</gallery></center>
===Video===
Aggravating Art also recorded a short video featuring Chris's wardrobe.
{{Infobox/video
| name = CHRIS CHAN DRIP OUT
| ytid = tQsTwz_Y_Vc
| stardate = 20 [[February 2021]]
| subject =
| style =
| shirt = Patriotic Muumuu
| saga =
| other =
| maker =
| previous = [[Sonichu reads and critiques a Fanfic by The Crimson Libertarian]]
| next = [[Chris Kisses Rosechu]]
}}

===Transcript===

[Laughing and dogs whining in the background]

Swag, dripped out baby! (higher pitch) Dripped out!

==Anon on /pol/==
On 28 [[June 2021]], an anonymous user on [[4chan]]'s /pol/ board visited 14 Branchlord Court to take pictures of the house and [[Son-chu#Barb's Dodge Caravan|the Dodge Caravan]]. The user played the flute near [[Patti]]'s old doghouse and apparently saw Chris peeking through a window in the house.

<center><gallery>
File:June2021Visit1.jpg|
File:June2021Visit2.jpg|
File:June2021VisitThread.png|A screencap of the original 4chan thread.
</gallery></center>

==Phillip Jeffries==
On 29 [[August 2021]], during the fallout of [[Incest|the incest incident]] and the [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|August 2021 arrest]], a [[Kiwi Farms]] user called Phillip_Jeffries visited 14 Branchlord Court with a friend in order to see the condition of the aforementioned Dodge Caravan and [[Chandler cats|the cats]]. Phillip was able to confirm that the vehicle was back at the house, and that at least two cats, Baby and Sylvia, were still living at the residence. Most notably, it was also confirmed that Barbara had returned to the house and that the Caravan had been registered with replacement license plates.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387/</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:August2021House1.jpg|
File:August2021House2.jpg|
File:August2021House3.jpg|
File:August2021House4.jpg|
</gallery></center>

==Barb Visit==
On 20 [[September 2021]], a pair of weens checked up on Barb to ask about Chris, unknowingly recording the audio of the meeting. Barb was previously described as looking frail, more "gone" than usual, and growing facial hair.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387/page-48#post-9991909</ref> Barb seemed to be confused when asked about where her son was while [[Clover and Snoopy|Clover]] howled at the door. Given that Barb did not know that she was being recorded, this serves as evidence that she is not faking having cognitive difficulties as some claimed she did in Chris's begging videos, or at least that her alleged difficulty hearing is getting worse.

The video was then posted to the r/ChrisChanSonichu subreddit,<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/ps1foq/i_went_to_chris_chans_house_and_met_barb/</ref> but the original video was taken down before being mirrored.

===Video===
{{Infobox/video
| name = I went to Chis Chan's house and met Barb...
| ytid = 6cd_VfIhRBg
| stardate = [[September 2021]]
}}

===Transcript===
''[dog whimpering throughout the video]''

'''Woman''': Hey. Um, I was just wondering if Chris was home. ''[steps in front of her friend to get closer to Barb]'' I was just wondering if Chris was home.

'''Barbara''': Pardon?

'''Woman''': Y- is Chris home?

'''Barbara''': I do not understand.

'''Woman''': My- My friend Chris, I was just wondering if Chris was here.

'''Barbara''': No.

'''Woman''': Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry to bother. ''[Barb closes the door]''

==See also==
*[[True and Loyal Fanbase]]

==Reference==
<references/>

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]