CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Cheesinator

2011-02-01T07:31:02Z

Cheesinator:

I'm Cheesinator, live in London (UK) and I'm here to help CWCki in what little ways I can. Jesus, I sound like a right boring shit, don't I?

Catch you in IRC, or something.

User:Cheesinator

2011-02-01T07:26:32Z

Cheesinator:

I'm Cheesinator, live in London (UK) and I'm here to help CWCki in what little ways I can. Jesus, I sound like a right boring shit, don't I?

Catch you in IRC.

User:Cheesinator

2011-02-01T07:23:12Z

Cheesinator: Created page with "I'm Cheesinator, and I'm here to help CWCki in the little ways I can. Jesus, I sound like a right boring shit, don't I? Catch you in IRC."

I'm Cheesinator, and I'm here to help CWCki in the little ways I can. Jesus, I sound like a right boring shit, don't I?

Catch you in IRC.

Talk:Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2011-02-01T07:19:39Z

Cheesinator:

Just as a note since I'm too lazy to do it myself, I think "Robert" should be replaced with "Bob." At least, most trolls tend to know Chris's dad as "Bob" and tend to associate Robert with [[Robert Simmons V]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:13, 17 May 2009 (CEST)
:Finished. Looks like someone else had started it, but I went ahead and finished off the rest of the Roberts. [[User:Sakanz|sakanz]] 00:33, 6 December 2009 (CET)

In case anyone's looking for some "Mumble March"-type activities, there're just four minutes of this very long audio left to transcribe (shortly before the end of the tape). [[User:Llort|Llort]] 15:32, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:Correction: there's a ''ton'' of this left to transcribe, which I didn't notice earlier because the start is done, the end is done, and the whole thing's just so long. Maybe I can make a few improvements myself... [[User:Llort|Llort]] 14:26, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Well i'm more than willing to work on a block if noone else wants to? [[User:EnglishPickle|EnglishPickle]] 03:17, 29 March 2010

==To do==

*<s>Transcribe 24:23 - 32:00.</s> '''Done.'''
:*I guess I'll start working on this myself. But if anyone else has already started working on this in secret, do let me know so that I'm not duplicating your efforts! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 04:58, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
*Transcribe 36:49 - 01:14:22.
:*This gap is 40 minutes long, so it'd probably make sense to divvy it up in some way. I don't know where any logical subject-matter breaks fall, though, so maybe just breaking it up into four 10-minute segments would be best?
:*I'll work on the empty space left. Maybe using your idea. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 18:42, 30 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I transcribed around 8 or so minutes, with around 15 left to go. Feel free to edit it to your liking, also added a section which stops around the time Chris and Bob start wondering who Emily looks like. --[[User:HatMcCullough|HatMcCullough]] 13:12, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*Transcribe 01:25:29 - 01:29:34.
:*This is only 4 minutes of audio to transcribe. Get to it!
:*This transcription is pretty epic. I'm going to summarise at the top, so people don't have to wade through hours of shit to find what they want. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:11, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Does any of the tape still need to be transcribe?-Yaktoo

Yes. Shitloads. Get to it! --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 23:30, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

*Reinforcements are en route. Gimme a sec to get all set up.--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:48, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
*Something came up- I'll handle this tomorrow. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:18, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
*:Uhh, hmm. Everything up to 00:39:00 seems actually appears to be transcribed so far. I'll keep listening.--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*:Okay. It seems like most of the transcribing is actually done, but the article needs a huge anti-fail pass. A lot of the sections marked inaudible are actually quite audible to me; the parts where it's a little dodgy may be because of their thick American accents along with the crappyness of the recording. I'll keep working, although if anyone else is reading this, feel free to jump in and make corrections as well. This has temporarily unseated the Mumble chats as my #1 priority (because of its feature on the front page) and due to its historical significance I feel it is far, far more important than [[Mumble 6|trolls asking Chris inane questions and shouting over the top of each other.]] When I am done with this I will return to my familiar grazing locations. NB; Piping will also be done at some point, too. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH [[CWCki|MOTHERLAND]]! --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:38, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
*hey, i've been going over the audio and have been able to decipher a lot of what Bob says so far. Continuing to work on it --[[User:Hellion|Hellion]] 09:32, 29 May 2010

I was going through some of this date audio/transcript and during the segment 3.5 Retired life (16:59-24:22) there a spot that goes Emily: I don’t know what… streets really are-
Bob: Well, again- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King…" and during Bob talking there's a noise that sounds like Chris farting, or a zipper... do we have any way to confirm this noise so that we can potentially add that Chris farted during his first "date" (which would be pretty note-worthy in my opinion)?? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 11:19, 26 January 2011 (PST)
: With further listening... this noise happens multiple times...too many to be a zipper...and the fact that we can hear it on the audio means that Emily would have been able to hear (or smell) these noises too... Any opinions? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 11:27, 26 January 2011 (PST)
:*Could be anything; Emily shifting in her chair, some kinda static or background noise. No one acknowledges it (not even awkward laughter, apologies or attempts to cover it up) and it's never mentioned again in the post-date transcript when she's listing what Chris did wrong, so unless 'Emily' herself confirms it, there's no point putting it in the article. Hope you're right though, because that would be a colourful new addition to Chris' already-huge list of charms. --[[User:Cheesinator|Cheesinator]] 07:18, 1 February 2011 (GMT)

Talk:Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2011-02-01T07:17:39Z

Cheesinator:

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2011-02-01T02:41:38Z

Cheesinator: /* Questions and Answers */

==Introduction==

New people are being initiated to the horrors of the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Questions and Answers==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]?
: No; the documentation on his entire life and testimony by real life people (including Chris [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile|himself]]) including [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|media reports]] [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|predating the Internet]] and no two [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|independent]] [[University_of_Virginia#UVA_student_on_Chris|accounts]] are way too complete for it to be an elaborate reverse-troll setup. If Chris is indeed faking this, somehow managing to fabricate an entire past, create [[Slideshow|hundreds of photos from his past]], control the media, get a huge number of people in on this, then he is the greatest troll and ''avant garde'' artist in history. However, [[Wikipedia:Occam's Razor|Occam's Razor]] would suggest that Chris is just REALLY STUPID and really believes the things he does and does stupid things for reasons he believes are logically sound.

; Why doesn't he just hire a prostitute?
: He wants [[love quest|TRUE and HONEST love]]. Prostitutes are expensive, and he wants a mothering companion. When prostitutes were sent to his house, Chris cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> Chris has also stated that he wouldn't hire a hooker out of fear of STDs.<ref>[[Mumble 4]]</ref> Though truth be told, Chris is cheap and odds are he'd find a crack whore too expensive. As to illustrate this point: it was discovered that he DID try to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, but tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref>

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: We don't do it because he's autistic, but rather because he's a [[Niggos|racist]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]] and [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Bagget|spitefully]] [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]] [[Parody|thief]] and an all-around [[fail|failure]] who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. Furthermore, he's someone who realizes he has a problem and what he does doesn't work but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

; Can he be helped? Should I try?
: [[Vivitheg|People]] [[Jackie|who are]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried and have accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the "[[white knight]]" article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, you won't be able to do it. Seriously, consider [[Svenka]] - she posted pictures of the very [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] that would steal Chris's date, [[Emily]], months in advance of the plan, yet Chris still fell for it.

:For recorded attempts to help Chris, see [[White knight emails]].

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: No. Chris is seeing a church counselor, [[Rocky]]. He refuses to get professional help because he refuses to spend money on something that's not video game-related and because he thinks [[GodJesus|God, Jesus]], and [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his church]] will help him pull through [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|much better]] than someone with actual psychiatric qualifications.

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. Some argue that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, please note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00). In [[April 2010]], an [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Autism Awareness volunteer]] suggested that he may actually have [[Wikipedia:Landau–Kleffner syndrome|Landau–Kleffner syndrome]].

; Does he have [[Asperger syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he was a child today.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: Socially retarded, yes, mentally retarded, not quite. He somehow managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, self-serving one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working, yet he chooses to pin the blame on external forces or goes about his way anyways. The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he is just really, really stupid. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he -at some point- was legitimately diagnosed with some kind of disability.

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He's certainly into women and [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] while thinking about women; on the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, makes a practice of meditating upon [[Sailor Moon]] in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen every time he masturbates]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness.

; Is he a furry?
: Definite maybe. He states that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry]]</ref>, though he admits to being turned on by [[Rosechu]] (not as much as a human female, natch), has drawn [[Rule 34]] artwork of his characters, and has depicted himself as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] having sex with a furry version of his ex-[[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]]. He is a furry in the sense that he clearly derives enjoyment from sexualized anthropomorphic animal characters, and personally identifies with a particular anthro character; he is not a furry in the sense that he does not participate in the wider furfag community. Lucky bastards.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: Probably not, but it's fun to imply otherwise. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. However, given that he [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|stares at a poster with a six-year-old anime girl on it to stay straight]], the fact that he got [[CWC's Second Message|furious]] when accused of being a pedophile (similarly to how he becomes hostile when being accused of being a [[homo]] or having [[Asperger's]]), and the fact that [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally jailbait engaging in sexual activity (and even by current [[Sonichu canon]], Rosechu was underage when she married Sonichu), there's an argument to be made. He also has stated he would like to lower his state's legal age of consent to 16, but this is more likely due to his inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia. In short, he's not a baby fucker but he'll play ball if grass is on the field.

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with [[Sonic]], anyway?
: He has always liked kids' games, and has won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on Sonic titles. Sonic appears to have certain qualities that attract autistic people more than other titles such as Mario.

; What's the deal with the shirts he always wears?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42]]</ref>

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist_warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]].

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug use. As far as [[Alcohol|drinking]] is concerned, Chris used to be against it as well, but in an ironic twist, video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] recently surfaced, and it appears he's [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the alcohol ban]] in [[CWCville]], making him a waffler. Given this was self-serving, it should surprise no one. He has also been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: It is best not to use these forums, as the former is closed to the public and the latter highly frowns upon using the forums as a base for trolling. Try [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] instead.

; Why doesn't Chris just lie and tell us he isn't a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] anymore?
: Because he's fucking stupid and besides, we'd see through it like all his other [[lies]].

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: [[Sonichu_8#The_uncensored_scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Was [[Ivy]] imaginary?
: No.

; I'm a complete moron, and I keep reading on [[ED]] and [[YouTube]] that [[Ivy]] is his sex doll. Is this so?
: No. His [[Sex toys|sex dolls]] are [[Kimmi]], [[Officer Nasty]], Booty-Licious and Yumi. Kimmi has acted as a prop representing Ivy in some videos - hence the confusion - but Ivy is most definitely real and was in contact with Chris. Disregard anything you read on either ED or YouTube. The [[CWCki]] is the only [[TRUE and HONEST]] source for Chris-related material.

; I want to email Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his email?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com. But srsly, Chris doesn't read his e-mails.

; What's this about Chris hating [[Harry Potter]]?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris pretty much hated it since it was "competition" for [[Pokémon]]. However, he did own a PSone Harry Potter game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (SASS), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: Basically, it's a very weird contortion of the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat — like a tugboat — coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: Chris's current [[YouTube]] channel is [http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler ChristianWChandler]. However, he deleted all of videos save one ([[100 2357.MOV|his farewell message]]) in [[November 2010]]. Chris's [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original web site]] is dead, as is his wiki, the [[CWCipedia]].

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through [[Mailbag|mail]] and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. His parents do likewise, though they sometimes read the content but disregard it as something they already know. If you think writing a handwritten letter to Chris or his parents will somehow force him to read it and convince him to change the errors of his ways (or doing something lulzy), you are almost certainly out of luck.

: Likewise, with Chris's phone; generally they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call, or [[Bob]] will pick up the phone and keep track of who calls for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]].

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]] of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the email correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]