CWCki - User contributions [en]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T11:16:13Z

Chillfreak: Feel like a date should be noted

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name Chris gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].]]
It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a user-car dealership, where it awaits its next buyer.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}
==Collisions==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

In September 2013, Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

{{-}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T11:15:13Z

Chillfreak: Undo revision 229285 by Chillfreak (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name Chris gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].]]
It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

The Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a user-car dealership, where it awaits its next buyer.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}
==Collisions==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

In September 2013, Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

{{-}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T11:14:38Z

Chillfreak: Feel like a date should be noted

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' is the name Chris gives to his car. It was originally a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the SONICHU plates onto it.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].]]
It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

The Focus was purchased by D&D Motors in May 2019, a user-car dealership, where it awaits its next buyer.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}
==Collisions==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

In September 2013, Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

{{-}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T03:58:04Z

Chillfreak: /* Other iterations of SonChu */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], and then put ''that'' on [[Craigslist]]. It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref> From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the original SONICHU plates onto it meaning it has most likely been registered in his name.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:Sonicar.jpg|thumb|Vanity plate on the new Focus.]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.

{{-}}

==Other iterations of SonChu==
===Cadillac Seville===
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]]

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine had died:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was scrapped. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

The Focus was listed for sale in May 2019 at D&D Motors.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref> It is unlikely to sell due to Chris' neglect.
===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>March 2017 Facebook Posts</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
File:IMG_5312.JPG|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].
File:Son-Chu at Walmart, 2 June '17.jpeg|The Focus at the [[Mal-Wart]] Region, [[June 2017]]. Taking up a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] spot, of course.
File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T03:57:19Z

Chillfreak: /* Other iterations of SonChu */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], and then put ''that'' on [[Craigslist]]. It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref> From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the original SONICHU plates onto it meaning it has most likely been registered in his name.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:Sonicar.jpg|thumb|Vanity plate on the new Focus.]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.

{{-}}

==Other iterations of SonChu==
===Cadillac Seville===
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]]

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine had died:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was scrapped. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

The Focus was listed for sale in May 2019 at D&D Motors. It is unlikely to sell due to Chris' neglect.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>
===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>March 2017 Facebook Posts</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
File:IMG_5312.JPG|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].
File:Son-Chu at Walmart, 2 June '17.jpeg|The Focus at the [[Mal-Wart]] Region, [[June 2017]]. Taking up a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] spot, of course.
File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2019-05-11T03:54:53Z

Chillfreak: /* Other iterations of SonChu */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that [[Chris]] drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], and then put ''that'' on [[Craigslist]]. It was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref> From [[September 2014]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until November 2018, when its engine died. The Chandlers currently share one vehicle: Barb's Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris has now transferred the original SONICHU plates onto it meaning it has most likely been registered in his name.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

==Backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car.]]"<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref>, both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage|go mental]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref>. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.

==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]
[[File:Sonicar.jpg|thumb|Vanity plate on the new Focus.]]
The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever.''' This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C," as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref>. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appears Chris has rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remains in the same place; however, the American flag has been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" has been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

==Car trouble==
Chris has wound up in dangerous situations with his car, usually of his own creation, on a few occasions.

On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.

About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.

During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.

==Mechanical issues==
[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

It is unknown what mechanical shape Son-Chu is in. However, given the state of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home and its surrounding yard]], it's unlikely the family takes any better care of their vehicles. Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile has at least 260,000 miles on it.

{{-}}

==Other iterations of SonChu==
===Cadillac Seville===
According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owns, or at least no longer drives Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Son-Chu's fate are currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Chris likely got rid of Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline."

===Ford Focus===
On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used Ford Focus, implying that said Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]]

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|The most recently taken image of Son-Chu, showing its current bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the new Son-Chu is notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine had died:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was scrapped. When you take Chris' history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

The Focus was listed for sale in May 2019 at D&D Motors. It is unlikely to sell due to Chris' neglect.
===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]
Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrows the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>.

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video| Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in [[November 2018]], the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] as opposed to getting himself a new car.

Chris replaced the Dodge's BWESTON plate with a Sonichu one, marking it as the fourth version of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in April 2019.

{{clear}}

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>March 2017 Facebook Posts</ref>.

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG|Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3|Mecca]].
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
File:IMG_5312.JPG|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].
File:Son-Chu at Walmart, 2 June '17.jpeg|The Focus at the [[Mal-Wart]] Region, [[June 2017]]. Taking up a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] spot, of course.
File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg

2019-05-11T03:51:05Z

Chillfreak: Rear of Focus w/o virgin stickers

== Summary ==
Rear of Focus w/o virgin stickers

Chris and sex

2019-05-08T04:54:56Z

Chillfreak: /* Chris in the act */

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In a leaked video from 2018, a troll posing as [[Magi-Chan]] posted a [[All_Star|video]] on Chris's Twitter depicting him tugging his [[Duck|duck]] to a certain well known song. He remains flaccid the entire time which could be a side effect of [[Tomgirl|HRT]] which is the ability to get an erection. If this is true, Chris will not be getting any [[hanky-panky]] in the future.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris is actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Then, in May 2018, [[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO|Chris had yet another shift of opinion.]]
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

In [[April 2018]], Chris, facing [[Financhu Crisis|serious financial issues]] and having recently come out as [[Chris and sexuality#Bisexuality|bisexual]], made a [[Twitter|tweet]] offering to [[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money|give blowjobs for money]]. However, the post may have been made under the influence of an [[Idea Guy]]-like troll, and few of Chris's fans have any interest in taking up his offer to verify.

[[File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg|thumb]]

An update as of 24 April 2018 reveals Chris has stooped low enough to give a blow job or have anal sex with a furry for money, this however does not confirm if he is one. Given that this post was later revealed to have been made at the behest of the [[Idea Guys]] as part of their [[Weens|'grand plan']] of manipulating and abusing Chris, it is unlikely that Chris was being sincere here.

==Incest==

{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/idea-guy-joshua-wise-manipulating-the-intellecutally-disabled-for-fun-megathread.37132/page-80#post-2988349</ref>.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Tomgirl|female]] enough or [[Chris and his ego|attractive]] enough that [[Chris and reality|a man would want to rape him.]]

==Sexting==

<strike>[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]</strike> Link down. Please reupload.

==Contreceptives==

{{main|Raincoat}}

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}