CWCki - User contributions [en]

28 October 2011

2012-07-19T05:35:58Z

Chitoryu12: /* Barbara's */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris has been banned since [[2008]]. Chris took a photo of the store and then two of owner [[Michael Snyder]] in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris and Barbara allegedly each hit Michael once with their car. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Chris and Barb assaulted them during the arrest.

Chris and Barb were charged with a Class 5 Felony, which entails "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's.

The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates. On 10 July, a plea bargain was reached. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and psychology|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. This occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris taunted Snyder for his [[obesity]] and claimed that he molests children.

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Rob Bell said that despite this, Chris and Barb maintain their version of the events as accurate. Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies.<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref>

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with my mother, we had just stopped at the Salvation Army story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the McDonalds there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with burning it down being the alternative).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, perhaps it was another Mike. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my 3DS, activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For the Internet". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

And more shit happened. Mom called 911 on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a cop car. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of $324 Rx lens glasses were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as Daria, then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; took off my shirt due to the heat; pretended to be a genie with light brown hair for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. Rocky was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my PS3 to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Michael Snyder

2012-07-19T05:35:29Z

Chitoryu12: /* Shit gets real (2011-) */

{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! JEW! '''Mike:''' He probably will.|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 55)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| JEW (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-)
|-
|}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>; Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is the [[manajerk|owner]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (now Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Due to his [[Naive|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork| child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, he scared the small children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and generally was a racist, homophobic creep. He would also truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[niggos|black kid]]. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though, as "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says [[Mimms]].

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>

==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably: ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", now owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit Snyder with their vehicle, injuring him, and were arrested near the scene. Both faced charges for hit and run, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault and Barb had felony assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official.]] Mike has also filed a civil suit against them both.

In a Facebook status update from 13 February 2012, Chris recounted a brief dispute with his mother, instigated when Chris flipped off a [[Jerkop]]. He concluded with a somewhat cryptic remark: "I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands." Whether Barbara has developed an irrational hatred of Snyder to match her son's, or whether Chris is simply being overdramatic, remains uncertain.

Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder in fact pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" in court (though Snyder himself was apparently not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

28 October 2011

2012-07-19T05:35:07Z

Chitoryu12: /* The charges */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris has been banned since [[2008]]. Chris took a photo of the store and then two of owner [[Michael Snyder]] in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris and Barbara allegedly each hit Michael once with their car. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Chris and Barb assaulted them during the arrest.

Chris and Barb were charged with a Class 5 Felony, which entails "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's.

The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates. On 10 July, a plea bargain was reached. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and psychology|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris taunted Snyder for his [[obesity]] and claimed that he molests children.

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Rob Bell said that despite this, Chris and Barb maintain their version of the events as accurate. Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies.<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref>

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with my mother, we had just stopped at the Salvation Army story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the McDonalds there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with burning it down being the alternative).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, perhaps it was another Mike. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my 3DS, activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For the Internet". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

And more shit happened. Mom called 911 on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a cop car. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of $324 Rx lens glasses were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as Daria, then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; took off my shirt due to the heat; pretended to be a genie with light brown hair for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. Rocky was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my PS3 to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

28 October 2011

2012-07-19T05:33:01Z

Chitoryu12:

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris has been banned since [[2008]]. Chris took a photo of the store and then two of owner [[Michael Snyder]] in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris and Barbara allegedly each hit Michael once with their car. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Chris and Barb assaulted them during the arrest.

Chris and Barb were charged with a Class 5 Felony, which entails "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's.

The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates. On 10 July, a plea bargain was reached. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and psychology|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial Went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial Went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris taunted Snyder for his [[obesity]] and claimed that he molests children.

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Rob Bell said that despite this, Chris and Barb maintain their version of the events as accurate. Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies.<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref>

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with my mother, we had just stopped at the Salvation Army story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the McDonalds there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with burning it down being the alternative).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, perhaps it was another Mike. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my 3DS, activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For the Internet". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.

And more shit happened. Mom called 911 on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a cop car. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of $324 Rx lens glasses were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as Daria, then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; took off my shirt due to the heat; pretended to be a genie with light brown hair for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. Rocky was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the Cwcki that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on YouTube, where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "Pokemon Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my PS3 to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Chris and hypocrisy

2012-07-01T09:43:07Z

Chitoryu12: /* "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy */

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2">[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you.|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2"/>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male sex]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkops|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This was coming from a thirty-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his thirties, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Chris retconned their ages]] so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|fourteen-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]."

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a penny]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[Niggos|blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref>

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even to the time of this writing, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==="They took all the pretty girls, leaving none for me!" — Romantic rivalry===

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="It's like they're shoving it in your face" — Flamboyancy===

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals. In his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Homosexuals|response]] on the forum, Chris stated, 'I do not care much for the homosexual males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face'. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching Youtube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had dated [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Unbanning_Attempts|"banned"]] means, [[28 October 2011|he will soon appear in front of a judge.]]

Most recently, in the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman believed to be Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his "slender" figure" - Obesity===

Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Chris and hypocrisy

2012-07-01T09:41:27Z

Chitoryu12:

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2">[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you.|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2"/>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male sex]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkops|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This was coming from a thirty-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his thirties, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Chris retconned their ages]] so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|fourteen-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]."

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a penny]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[Niggos|blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref>

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==="They took all the pretty girls, leaving none for me!" — Romantic rivalry===

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="It's like they're shoving it in your face" — Flamboyancy===

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals. In his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Homosexuals|response]] on the forum, Chris stated, 'I do not care much for the homosexual males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face'. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching Youtube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had dated [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Unbanning_Attempts|"banned"]] means, [[28 October 2011|he will soon appear in front of a judge.]]

Most recently, in the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman believed to be Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his "slender" figure" - Obesity===

Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

2012-06-12T04:03:40Z

Chitoryu12:

{{quote|"Wesley Mem"* is a church for all of [[Autistic|God’s children]], regardless of [[Attraction Sign|age]], [[Niggos|race]], [[Silvana|gender]], [[Monthly tugboat|socio-economic situation]], or [[Homos|sexual orientation]].|WMUMC's slogan}}

[[Image:WesleyChurchPhoto.jpg|thumb|right|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church, Charlottesville.]]
[[Image:Wesley Church.jpg|thumb|left|150px|Wesley Foundation Methodist Church's logo.]]

[[Christian]] started attending the '''[[Wikipedia:John Wesley|Wesley]] Memorial [[Wikipedia:United Methodist Church|United Methodist Church]]''' in [[March 2008]] after getting kicked out of his old church, the [[Grace Baptist Church]]. He was baptised at WMUMC on Mother's Day of 2008.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Regina_e-mails#Regina_tries_to_make_sense_of_all_that</ref> Chris also sees his counselor [[Rocky]] here. On 12 [[September 2011]], the church served as the location for [[Bob]]'s funeral.

WFMC is closely associated with the [[University of Virginia]]. Ironically, given his intense homophobia, Chris attends a [[homo]]-accepting church because it is the only one that won't kick him out. Having been besieged with [[nudes]] of Chris, they now have this disclaimer on their homepage: "We are not responsible for any content or links that may appear on the personal web pages of any member of this congregation."

[[Bob]] attended with his son, but [[Barbara]] usually stays home.<ref>[[Church audio#00:06:27 - A Wild Chris-Chan Appears]]</ref>

[[Robert Simmons V]] also [[Church audio|talked to Chris]] at this church on 15 [[March 2009]].

On 10 June 2012, Chris (likely with the help of [[Rocky]]) ran a [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]] for a cancer charity.
{{-}}
== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Rocky]]

==External links==
*[http://avenue.org/wmumc/ Church website]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-06-12T04:02:20Z

Chitoryu12:

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya]].

== The event ==
[[File:ChrisLemonadeStand.jpg|300px|right|He did it!Hallelujah]]

According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris was originally running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m on Friday, June 8 through Sunday, June 10, 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand was originally to be set up outside [[Chris's house]], then moved to the old [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] building, 100 Albemarle Square, [[Charlottesville]], and then to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. The initial fundraising goal of US$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. As of June 2, the total amount of donations exceeded $150, although Chris never changed his original donation goal.

[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

The page was later deleted, for reasons unknown; it is likely that Chris decided that raising money for ''dying children'' wasn't worth the [[stress]] of hearing mean things from [[trolls]]. It resurfaced at the beginning of June with the new location listed as his church.

As of June 10, Chris has successfully hosted the lemonade stand (with some help from his congregation and UVA students) and pledged to give the money towards the organization the following day. Notably, this is one of the few incidents where Chris has both followed through on his promise, and positively contributed towards the community.

==External links==
*[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]

CWC's Second Message

2012-05-20T08:07:16Z

Chitoryu12:

{{Quote|Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.|Chris. So it begins.}}

After months of trying to either ignore or edit the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, [[Chris]] explodes with fury in this video, '''CWC's Second Message'''.

He blames ED for causing his falling-out with [[Megan]], although anyone with a brainstem could tell that it was his fault for drawing pornography involving her and sharing it with the world. Chris also begins threatening to withhold the release of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and all further comics unless the ED page is removed. Naturally, [[troll]]s were terrified that they would never see the conclusion to the absorbing story that Chris had created, and rushed to meet his demands.

This is a beloved classic in the CWC canon, and it was in this video that Chris coined the term "[[pedofork]]."

==Video==
{{Tardrage}}{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC's Second Message
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1XmuUP8Z7r4}}
| stardate = 3 August [[2008]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Comics|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{ED|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]
| next = [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
}}

{{quote|I am not a [[pedofork]], you dorks!}}

=== Transcript ===

''Citizens of the [[Internet]]'': I present an open message to each and every one of you.

[[Chris and his ego|Y'all should know me by now]], but, if you don't, I am [[Christian Weston Chandler]], ''the'' original creator of [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], back on March 17th, [[2000]]. Any dates earlier are void. I present this open message because I have a whole bunch of people on the Internet [''removes [[glasses]] dramatically''] give me hate…—show me a lot of hate... and I do not appreciate it. Ticks me off.

You think you can just… hate me just to get a laugh out of yourself. Think about it. You're laughing at somebody else's pain and torture, because I am lonesome, still trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] and to make into a [[sweetheart]]. Y'all think I'm just a sap, a chump, dumbass, whatever you may think. But you know what? You… ''you!'' Every last one of you, who has sh—expressed hate against me? ''You're'' the shitheads!

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris at age 70, if his cholesterol would allow him to live that long]]

Also, every last one of you who thinks that I am similar to that—of that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''… ''you're'' the [[pedophiles]]. Every one of you who thinks I'm [[homo]] and calls me that—because I am not; I'm ''straight''! I'm ''straight''!—''you’re'' the homos! Every last one of you!

I could—I could take the whole time to express so much ''anger'' and frustration. I'm only nearsighted; I do wear glasses. [''replaces glasses on face''] Take it or leave it, losers! [''removes glasses dramatically (again)''] It m—it helps me see better… see more detail and more clear vision than any of you knuckleheads can put together out of your own ego that you so richly... [''begins awkwardly tapping PS3 controller''] consume of.

But… on a more serious note: learning recently of the false—or real—literature, with downloaded… ''copies'' of my comic pages and whatnot. It has been either distributed or created ''without'' my consent or approval. So... it ''is'' a fake... and if it ever is published, or if it ever shows profit, let it weigh on your consciousness throughout your eternal life… that you are torturing and—worse off—tearing the heart, and soul, and emotions of the innocent man. The out—the innocent—still 26-year-old [''slams arms down on chair’s arms''] ''virgin''. Not only that, but I have so many lonely nights and stress… that you can not just imagine it!

Now, as for the other serious note: of any new stuff officially made by me, under my own… hands… ''not'' by anybody else's, which are considered ''false''. I just have not been feeling the inspiration to draw—to color! Because the loneliness…—I cannot stand that. The hatred I'm getting from every last one of you who has contributed to that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] web page… and every other forum, Internet document, lewdly drawn pictures with… ''dicks''…—I love ''dykes!'' ''Dykes!'' ''[[China|CHINA]]!'' [''jump cut''] I'm ''straight!'' If I ever—if I see a dick, I just look away, with a moment of being freaked out! [''makes arm gesture for “safe!”'']

[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|left|"She has come for me"]]

''And'' e-mailing me pictures is not gonna get any of you any further conclusion to “Will [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] get out of [[Dark Mirror Hole|the mirror]]?”, “Will the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] be collected?”, “Will I ''ever'' find my [[sweetheart]]?” ''And'' am I—am I or [[Megan Schroeder]] still an item—” which by the way, she broke up with me so much long ti—so much long ago because the contributors to that ED page… you broke the emotional streng—strength between us. You promoted such twists and turns to everything I have said [''begins tapping PS3 controller against his hand to count the offenses''] and drawn and written and ''whatnot''… You broke up the best friendship, the best relationship, the ''closest'' I could ever have in this ''pitiful adult life!'' ''You'' did it! Every last one of you! If I could blame myself, I would definitely blame myself for drawing [[Rule 34|those ''five'' pictures]]! Those five drawings! And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; [''covers eyes with one hand momentarily''] that is ''Megan!'' And just for—and just for—for taking it up—and twisting it around and such!

Think about it. ''Think about it!'' Weigh it on your conscience! Because nothing—no more official Sonichu art or work may—or may not—ever emerge… depending on the amount of hate that is decreased! That web page: ''taken off the Internet''! I wish I'd never found that piece of ''shit'' in the first place, back on that [[Halloween]] of [[2007|’07]], somewhere around there. And promoting the hatred, and… drawing such loose—such ''lucrid'' mockeries is ''not'' gonna further the story plot or have anything new created, or even gonna help in any way… as I am telling you this, right into my [[PSEye|PlayStation Eye]]!

[''sighs deeply''] If I ever do find the one that is to be my sweetheart, I will give her such care, such tenderness, such love… we get around to the [[Chris and sex|hanky-panky]], that's fine, that's good… we get married. I will have my God-create—my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]! She will be taken care of… lovingly. Those of you mock me otherwise, with such ''frivolous, lucrid adultery''… if I ever hear another—any more new stuff, it will weigh on your conscience, with me ''tearing at your souls''… emotionally! Let ''that'' weigh on your conscience, for those of you who have already done so or are thinking about doing it!

I am not a ''[[pedofork]]'', you ''dorks''!

[[Image:Chris chan by B Comes B-459.png|thumb|Mmmm China]]

[''sighs''] I tell ya… so much anger, so much stress… it's hard to see straight. Let that, the result of all that you have contributed against me, weigh heavily like a 10,000-pound anvil! "Sixteen tons, whadd'ya get? Another day older and deeper in debt!" [''pronounces the b in “debt”'']

[[Chris and religion|If I was not a baptized man]] over at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Methodist church]] by the [[University of Virginia]], I'd tell every last one of you that contributed to the hatred and downpour, "Go to hell." But I can—but I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy, because that—because [[Twin Falling Towers|I am more kind than ya think]]. Y'all just do not see that; y'all just twist my words around. [''clears throat''] I do not wish to see any more hatrey or adult mockery, and I want that Encyclopedia Dramatica page taken down forever! It will weigh heavily on your conscience each day that it is ''still'' up there.

[''replaces glasses on face''] I leave you with any other thoughts that you ''may'' have. But if you ''dare'' twist ''these'' words around, that will weigh ''worse'' on your conscience. The words that ''I'' provide from sound mind and ''heart''… it will weigh heavily on you.

[[Obesity|It will weigh ''heavily'' on you.]] {{clear}}

== Fan videos ==
{{collapsible
|Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Metal Love Solid: Portable Jerkops
| video = {{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2008]]
| maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Creator of the Internet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hxN_TCywHPg}}
| stardate = 15 [[September 2008]]
| maker = Jawsusfreak777
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sgt. Autism.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jeSovLPzVFA}}
| stardate = 22 [[September 2008]]
| maker = xjrlol
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Message To CHINA!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5vPj14MDJVE}}
| stardate = 14 [[January 2009]]
| maker = CWCLovesPickles
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Vanilla Chris - "Dykes Dykes China"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Br-yK7nbHuk}}
| stardate = 14 [[March 2009]]
| maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from [[Kacey|my New Gal-Pal]].
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1CHjLvHSe3Q}}
| stardate = 5 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ringo Chris - "Christian Chandler: Lonesome Heart Soul Man (Reprise)"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|L79PdhpQKr8}}
| stardate = 8 [[September 2009]]
| maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| subject =
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan is a Pedophile
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7kNrlediMZc}}
| maker = CelGamer
| stardate = 8 [[February 2010]]
| type =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]|nextlink=[[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008| 03]]
[[Category:ED Saga videos| 2008-08-03]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2008-08-03]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2012-03-11T08:39:18Z

Chitoryu12:

[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris and [[Jackie]], here represented by a sex doll, leaked on 24 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get some [[McDonald's]], eating it and then making out with the doll in his front yard, and Chris's attempt at re-enacting a viral video in a dressing room at the [[Ruckersville]] [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wRjc2Qg-3Y music video]</ref>

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]''.

==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7dDfqaMMWxI}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jackie," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yKikDhuOE00}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jackie and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun, you know, in the car-- and sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. Very very good. Yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BZCxX-VvEjU}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating & [[sex]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car, which is parked on his lawn. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jackie and I, we're here at the McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, after-- and we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris grabs the doll by the breast and moves it as a child would when making a toy speak and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jackie is talking]].]''

''[As Jackie]'' It was really, really tasty, yes it was. And even better... ''[Unintelligible]''...and I'd like that (?)

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jackie-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jackie]'' I say we make out. And then see where it goes from there.

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jackie" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the "public parking lot of a McDonald's". He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "[[Wikipedia:California Gurls|California Gurls]]" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jackie's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off, and rushes to the camera.]''

God, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y1njcaeYmSs}}
| stardate = 24 [[February 2012]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous =
| next =
}}

==== Transcript ====

Here we go.

[''Immediately starts humping the sex doll while making high-pitched moaning sounds'']

[''after 10 seconds, he turns the sex doll around into the doggy-style position before it goes off-camera, the blow-up doll going head first into his mold-coated bathtub.]

[''Resumes shrill, sexual moans that sound like a whimpering dog while thrusting the doll's behind.'']

[''Continues moaning suggestively'']

Yeah!

[''Moans some more. He pauses to reach over to something (water):'']

Whoopie! [''tosses water into the air as if "Jackie" climaxes & squirts everywhere.'']

[''Sighs of relief, wipes shirt on face from the [[Chris and Health|intensity]] and to remove Jackie-Pie's "cum" before turning the camera off'']

==References==
<references/>
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-26T20:24:22Z

Chitoryu12: Once again, Chris mistakenly says "J" instead of "K". It's extremely clear

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie, wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

For reasons unknown, the video is sped up slightly faster than normal, although this fails to make the process of viewing it any less drawn-out or excruciating.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[The whole video is visibly sped up in editing]''

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

J! A! C! J! I! E! Jackie! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jackie! Jackie!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jackie! Jackie!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Cheerleader

2012-02-25T20:35:14Z

Chitoryu12: /* Transcript */ Chris clearly says another J instead of K

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie, wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xQzUIZv4Xls}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

J! A! C! J! Y! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jacky! Jacky!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jacky! Jacky!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

==See also==

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Chris and fashion

2011-11-01T16:12:35Z

Chitoryu12:

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a [http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1cd2b01&deptid=70673&dep=MEN&catid=78744&pcat=MEN&cat=casual+shirts&NOffset=0&pcatid=70673&Ne=4294957900+5+29+3+596+1007+8+1031+18+904+833+949&N=4294938542+269&SO=0&cattyp=RLE&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70673%7c78744 St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo] , which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person,including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet, too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures were leaked showing Chris dressed in woman’s clothing in public. His new outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|4]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|12]] [[Sign Destruction Video|13]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]] [[Wigwam|4]] [[WeighIn|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|2]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|3]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2266|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

2011-08-30T20:24:01Z

Chitoryu12:

'''Christopher Paul Whitney reveal''' is a video uploaded by CWCvilleProductions on 30 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. In this video, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of [[Alec Benson Leary]] a day ahead of schedule.

Christopher reveals the real man behind the curtain of Asperchu, and eats a whole microwave pizza for your enjoyment.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s8wuTuzw-84}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Response to ADF]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===

'Tis another fine day -- for REVEALING -- 'cuz I have not heard 'nything from Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation!

(points camera at TV)

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul "Fat Man" Whit-neeyyy!

From Antonio Tetsas-San Antonio Tetsas age 36 unemployyed and on welfare. His interest include: hot tubbing, video games, retirement, Xbox, folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics and dip. Aannnnd (operatic) eating onliiiiine!

He's responsible for Asperchu, asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of sonichu and--and asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shuns...and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! (cartoony voice) whole block of cheeeeeeese!

(starts making DJ gestures)

Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah! Awh-Shidonzi! Awh-Awh--Awh--shidonzi! Aw, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time! ''[incomprehensible]'' Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed microwaveable pepperoni pizza! And a can of ''tea!'' Let the feast begin!

''[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera]'' Cheesy crust! ''[Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel and drinks the tea]'' Mmm, that was ''good!'' ''[Chris repeats the incomprehensible rapping segment]''

One big difference! He's ''fat!'' Iiiiii'm [[Lie|thin]]!

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than Surfshack Tito! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, [unintelligible] so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! ''[Chris mimes a balloon being popped]'' Stay tuned.

==Sauces==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Response to ADF]]|nextlink=[[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-30 r]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Jiggliami

2011-08-26T03:57:56Z

Chitoryu12: /* Creation */

{{quote|Baka Dana Watashi! It's the war of love!|[[Jiggliami]]'s song "War of Love"}}
{{quote|After this concert we will be superstars! We can have any man we want!|Jiggliami to [[Blanca]] before their breakout concert}}

[[Image:Jiggliami.jpg|thumb|Chris-Chan traced his former girlfriend's drawing, resulting in a copy of a copy]]

'''Jiggliami''' is [[Blanca Weiss]]'s "original" character that Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|claimed]] after she broke up with him. Note the irony and [[hypocrisy]] in this action, considering he can steal other people's characters willingly, but when it comes to [[Asperchu|his characters being stolen]], he gets butthurt. Also in [[Episode 18]], it is hinted that she was [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]'s girlfriend while he was still a regular [[Pikachu]]. Fortunately, we are spared any [[sex|flashbacks of the conception of an Igglybuff]].

Her first appearance in the comics was the KCWC segment in [[Sonichu 7]] where she was interviewed by [[DJ Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa]] followed by boring, [[Women's rights|sexist]] talk and a lame, sexist joke about Jiggliami's [[I am STRAIGHT|snowballs]]. Her next (and last) appearance was [[Episode 18]], during the "spring break" escapades. She is first seen with Blanca, who is presumably her manager or plays guitar for her… or something, the two have an inane conversation about energizing the crowd and how after the concert, they'll be famous enough that they could [[Love Quest|get any man they wanted to]]. The conversation ends with [[Blanca]] alluding to her [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|heart's desire]] being trapped in [[Time Void|another dimension]].

Later on she finds the comatose [[Blake]] after his… encounter with [[Silvana]], and then [[Magi-Chan]] and Jiggliami inform [[Bubbles]] that Silvana is posing as Blake. Later on, Jiggliami sings her song "War of Love" to the cheers of the audience, but before the song she states that she's missing her old [[Sonichu (character)|Pikachu boyfriend]].

Ever since the breakup with Blanca, Jiggliami no longer appears in the comic.

In the [[Blanca E-mails]] she is given some bullshit history about wishing on a star and somehow getting turned into the anthropomorphic abomination seen in the comic, but Chris never mentions this. Within the comic Jiggliami just shows up with no explanation as to how and why a humanoid Jigglypuff exists.

==Creation==
[[Image:Jiggy.jpg|thumb|left|Blanca's drawing, in and of itself a crude copy of the character on the right]]
[[Image:Ranka_trace.jpg|thumb|Ranka, who is in turn a [[Pedofork|loli]] version of Lynn Minmay. So Chris has done a copy of a copy of a copy?]]

The original illustration by Blanca has a striking resemblance to both a screencap and illustration of [[Wikipedia:List of Macross Frontier characters#Ranka Lee|Ranka Lee]], a character from the [[anime]] ''[[Wikipedia:Macross Frontier|Macross Frontier]]'', which means Christian further degraded the quality of the original, Xerox-style. The characters are both pop stars, and share many other attributes such as their "up-and-coming" status and inane, bubbly songs. To be fair to our autistic hero, mecha anime is probably not [[Wikipedia:Cuteness in Japanese culture|kawaii]] enough for his tastes, so he probably never has even heard of the series; so how would he know he was tracing a trace? Still, ''damn''.

There's a small bit of irony, though, in that ''Macross Frontier'''s main character is a former [[Wikipedia:Kabuki|kabuki]] actor who played [[Tomgirl Pictures|female roles]], much like men playing women in old-school [[Wikipedia:William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] productions. To make matters even funnier, the anime also had a comic relief [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|flamboyantly gay]] character. Maybe it's for the best that Chris doesn't know about this.

[[Image:Jiggliami Jigglypuff x Sonic by KawaiiKitsune123.jpg|thumb|left|Blanca's second drawing]]
The lyrics to the song Jiggliami was singing were also ripped off (and mercilessly butchered) from a music video by [[Wikipedia:Supercell_(band)|Supercell]] using the Japanese [[Wikipedia:Vocaloid|Vocaloid]] character [[Wikipedia:Hatsune Miku|Hatsune Miku]].

If this whole situation sounds familiar, well, it is: [[Simonla]] originally was a creation of a another "[[Evan|fan]]" that was in turn a, ahem, "[[parody]]" of another animu character, exactly like Jiggliami.

Jiggliami is a knockoff of the following:

* [[Amy Rose]]
* [[Wikipedia:Jigglypuff|Jigglypuff]]
* [[wikipedia:Ranka Lee|Ranka Lee]]

==See also==
*[[Simonla]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

2011

2011-08-23T20:11:08Z

Chitoryu12:

[[File:TG11.jpg|250px|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011''']]

'''2011''' is the third year of organized trolling of the [[Internet]]'s favorite LOLcow, [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. In 2011, Chris turned 29. The year started out in the shadow of Chris's sixth declaration of leaving the Internet. In spite of this, Chris has been taking refuge on the [[PlayStation Network]], which has allowed the occasional bit of new material to surface. Most importantly, 2011 brought the revelation that [[Tomgirl pictures|Chris really does enjoy wearing women's clothing.]]

==January==
{{main|January 2011}}
Not much happened this month. Just as it was expected of him, Chris bought ''[[LittleBigPlanet]] 2'', and spend most of the last half of the month playing it. On a more interesting note, Chris's [[Disguises|pseudonym]] [[JenkinsJinkies]] was outed, and his exploits on the [[Trollin Train]] forums from July-August 2010 were made public.

==February==
{{main|February 2011}}

This month saw the release of several of Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' levels, including [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial]] and the [[Autism Tutorial]]s.

==March==
{{main|March 2011}}
An old pile of [[phone calls]] way back from the [[Liquid]]/[[Kacey]] saga was released to the Internet at the beginning of the month.

==April==
{{main|April 2011}}
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''April 2011''']]
As the [[Playstation Network]] suffered a long downtime and security breach, Chris's account is hacked again, [[Tomgirl Pictures|revealing pictures]] of Chris showing off his "[[Homos|Tomgirl]]" side. Much controversy has surrounded these photos, as many think that Chris has finally let out his [[True and honest|true sexuality]], while others believe this is a bizarre attempt to appear attractive to [[Tiffany Gowen|"Tomboys"]] using the logic that "Tomgirl + Tomboy = [[China]]".

==May==
{{main|May 2011}}
The PSN came back online, and Chris immediately deleted the "I am Tomgirl." quote. However, he later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where all TRUE and HONEST Tomgirls and Tomboys hang out.
==June==
{{main|June 2011}}
Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I No Socialize Online", published [[3DS Flipnote|a Flipnote]] and changed his [[voicemail message]] a few times. He also continued posting on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, revealing some of the most disturbing stuff to date.

==July==
[[File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in '''July 2011''']]
{{main|July 2011}}
After months of minimal activity, Chris's internet presence increased markedly during July. His participation in the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum was discovered, after which Chris publicly announced his true identity to the other members. Chris also created a new [[Facebook]] account, contradicting his prior claim regarding online socialization, and logged back into his long-dormant [[YouTube]] account. Meanwhile, [[Liquid Chris]]'s YouTube account was shut-down for good.
==August==
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris in August 2011]]
{{main|August 2011}}
August began with Chris and his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|tom-pals]] planning vengeance against the CWCki. Soon thereafter, Chris broke his lengthy [[Chris and the Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|internet hiatus]] by returning to YouTube and uploading [[Calling Out|three new videos]] in which he claims to have information on the true identities of both [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and a previously unheard of troll named Thorg. An earthquake also hit the area during this month, and the status of Chris and his family's well-being is still unknown.
{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]