CWCki - User contributions [en]

Daniel Weston

2017-09-13T19:15:55Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211319 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits *[[Stress sigh|sighs]]* we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|[[Captain's Log]], [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|Stardate November 7th, 2007]]}}

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Portrait of Daniel Weston, c. 1623. Note the [[Creepy stare|blank stare]]... Doesn't it remind you of a [[Chris|certain somone]]?]]

'''Daniel Weston''' is one of the people who Chris claims to be one of his illustrious ancestors, through whom he is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]],<ref name="publicannouncement" /> [[List of Chris's lies|whose only daughter died childless]]. According to Chris, Daniel Weston's ancestor was [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], who was in turn related to Anne Boleyn.<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Chris's Heritage]]</ref>

In 2007, Chris claimed that Daniel Weston was aboard the ''[[Wikipedia:Mayflower|Mayflower]]'', the ship that carried the [[Wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Pilgrim Fathers]] to [[United States of America|America]] in [[Pre-1980#Pre-1900|1620]];<ref name="publicannouncement">[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> however, according to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was never a man named Weston aboard.<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref>

Some fans suspect that Chris actually meant to say [[wikipedia:Pilgrim Fathers|Thomas Weston]], an English merchant who funded The Mayflower, although this makes no more sense than the prior account.

Chris later revised his theory, saying that Daniel Weston was actually not on the ''Mayflower''. although "he made his voyage later on".<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref> This was essentially the story he related to [[Catherine]] in 2014, although he could provide no clear details. This highly nebulous revision is no more persuasive than the original version, and neither version of the story accounts for Chris being descended from Anne Boleyn, who had no descendants whatsoever.

These flatly impossible notions were probably spoonfed to Chris by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] to make him feel special. Indeed, he credits her with doing the historical research. In reality, Chris's earliest known maternal ancestor was a [[Ruckersville, VA|hick]] named William Wynn, who had a grandson named Robert (Barb's grandfather) claimed to be a lecherous [[Alcohol|alcoholic]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Anne Boleyn]]
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]]
*[[Barbara Chandler]]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Weston, Daniel}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Chris and stress

2017-09-13T19:15:03Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211320 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{quote|Stress hinders the emotions and physical abilities as swiftly as a bullet.|Chris, equating stress with [[Sonichu Special 4|being shot]].<ref name="IRC"/>}}

[[Image:Stress.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in stressed mode.]]

'''Stress''' is the bane of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s existence.

When pressed on his "high-functioning" [[autism]], Chris eventually learned that outside of [[high school]], he can't blame his shortcomings on autism. He discovered that "stress" works just as well. However, it's assumed that Chris could be confusing "stress" with [[Wikipedia:Depression (mood)|depression]] or anxiety, refusing to admit that he is in fact, unhappy with his current situation, as well as the fact that Chris had never experienced actual stress in his life prior to the [[Financhu Crisis]] apart from his consistent paranoia over getting [[trolls|trolled]]. He is, however, prescribed medicine for this "stress."

When under the effects of "stress", Chris typically posted videos without his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] and talked in a more meek variation of his usual monotone speaking voice. It is during these periods of feeling "stressed" that Chris will opt to remove himself from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] for about a week or so, and then come back feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and given a new resolve to finish the [[Love Quest]]. This is most likely due to his autistic regenerative abilities that make sure that [[Heart level|his heart]] never goes below 0% and into the negatives. Chris often cites stress as the reason why he isn't inspired to work on the comics; precisely why ''inspiration'' is needed to make Sonic recolours have sex with each other and kill Chris' enemies is not apparent.

In August 2013, Chris indicated through Facebook that his stress is beginning to take a toll on his health. Given his rather [[Chris and health|unhealthy]] [[Obesity|lifestyle]], it's not unlikely.

==Stressors==

* Bullies<ref name="IRC" />
* [[Trolls]]
* People at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>
* [[Pickle]]s
* The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Niggos]]
* [[Wendy's|Getting a job]]
* Anything requiring him to leave the [[Chris's house|house]]
* [[Chores]]<ref name="IRC" />
* The existence of [[ED|webpages]] [[CWCki|outlining]] his many failures
* [[Boyfriend-free girl|Asking girls to go out with him]]
* [[Autistic|His "mental block" of autism]]
* [[Chris and his Ego|Talking to anyone about anything except himself]]
* Being told things he doesn't like to hear
* Having drawings of him finger-banging [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] confused with [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]
* [[Jimmy Hill|Copyright Issues]]
* [[Homos|Homosexuality]]
* His daily struggle against becoming homosexual
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu|His characters being accused of homosexuality]]
* [[Blanca|Finding out his Internet girlfriend broke up with him because of the Pickle Man]]<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008]]</ref>
* [[PandaHalo|Finding out his Internet girlfriend died in a brushfire]]
* [[Sarah Jackson|Finding out his Internet girlfriend was killed by Optimus Prime in a tragic car accident]]
* [[Julie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is a thirteen-year-old boy]]
* [[Ivy|Finding out his Internet girlfriend doesn't exist]]
* [[Kacey|Finding out his Internet girlfriend is marrying someone else]]
* [[Jackie|Finding out his Internet girlfriend will not give him china if he doesn't act like a normal person]]
* People [[Chris and death|dying]]<ref name="IRC"/>
* Finding out that [[Emily|his date]] was a mole working for the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* Being famous<ref name="IRC20081231">[[IRC (31 December 2008)]]</ref>
* Being [[Asperchu|parodied]]
* Being confronted by [[Kacey| his sweetheart's]] [[Father Call|Father]]
* [[Mailbag|Criticism (constructive or otherwise)]]
* Being [[friend zone|friend zoned]]
* Having someone [[Liquid Chris|pretend to be him]]
* Having his identity [[Ian Brandon Anderson|questioned]]
* [[Megan|His hormones]]<ref>[[Megan E-mails#Chris continues bothering her about ED|Megan E-mails]]</ref>
* Being [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|Trying to get unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]]
* Being [[Father Call|cal]][[28 October 2011|led]] a child
* Back when [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was still alive, his willingness to call Chris out on his bullshit, and his rare hand-washing (but living a [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|Superfund]] site is perfectly ok)<ref name="IRC">[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> <ref name="IRC20081231"/>
* Whenever [[Sega]] changes the color of [[Sonic]]'s arms
* Anything slightly inconvenient
* Anything that [[autism]] isn't an excuse for
* Anything that stress isn't an excuse for

==Handling Stress==
* [[Mass debating]]<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#I am perverted]]</ref>
* Having a [[sweetheart]] resetting his [[biological clock]]
* The prospect of having a "[[Hanky-panky|sex time]]"
* Playing [[vidya]]
* Hiring prostitutes<ref>[[April 2012]]</ref>
* Take medication<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>

==Things that Chris does when stressed==
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|One of the more common symptoms of stress]]
* [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Shits himself]]
* Cries
* Becomes less/more productive than usual
* Rages about his "pitiful adult life" in [[YouTube]] videos
* Rages at his [[Mailbag|mailers]]
* Sends [[death threats]]
* Abuses his [[PSEye|cameras]]
* Crashes Into Slumber<ref>[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly homophobic<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref>
* Becomes increasingly [[Chris and race|racist]]<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref><ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>
* [[Stress sigh|Sighs excessively]]
* Suffers from [[Muscle bra|memory loss]]
* Draws hideous hardcore pornography of his friends and fursonas<ref>[[Mailbag 42#It's called an art style|Mailbag #42]]</ref>
* [[Alcohol|Drinks]]
* [[6 June 2010|Attempts]] [[28 October 2011|vehicular homicide]]
* Considers suicide<ref>[[October 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Chris and...]]

Trollin Train

2017-09-13T19:14:31Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211318 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
'''Trollin Train''' was a fake [[troll]] forum, established on 27 [[July 2010]], which Chris frequented under the trollsona "[[JenkinsJinkies]]". He eventually gave up on posting, afraid that when [[jerkop]]s "busted" the forum they would mistake him for a troll,<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_22|Jackie E-mails]], 14 [[November 2010]]</ref> because of course Chris believes trolling is [[Chris and the Law|illegal]].

Trollin Train is an excellent example of both Chris's [[naïve]]té and his [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]. His JenkinsJinkies persona was instantly recognized by the trolls due to his poor grasp of [[Chris and English|English]] and [[Chris and writing|Distinctive Typing Style]], and taken advantage of from the start. Furthermore, his arrogance led him to believe that all of the trolls had immediately fallen for his ruse and that a fourteen-year-old sodomist who had moved in ''directly'' across the street from Chris would fit in perfectly with the secret trolling circle (because in [[Chris and reality|Chris's mind]], all trolls are really angsty gay children). Needless to say, the JenkinsJinkies [[Muscle bra|teat]] was milked for all it was worth and Chris went along without ever realizing it.

==Chris's Posts==
===Hey, Everyone! J.J. has arrived. (Thu 29 July 2010 12:19 AM)===
A new thread in which Chris introduces himself. He gives a long-winded, deranged backstory for his persona, and saw fit to include pointless and detailed information about gay sex, since, in Chris' [[Autism|retarded]] [[Heterochromia|eyes]], all [[Homos|gays]] are trolls and all trolls are gay.
{{quoteboxred|First, let me say I am most humbled to be welcomed among my fellow Troll Kind. [[File:Smiley smug.gif]]

Well, let me tell a bit more about myself for starters. My real name is [[Junior Jenkins]] (Scooby-Doo was the inspiration behind the "Jinkies"). LOL. I had a [[Chris's birthday|birthday]] recently on the 16th of July, so now I'm 15. I couldn't celebrate it with my friends like I would have wanted to, because I was hitchhiking my way to [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] from Boston. I'm crashing at a house where I have some relatives there (They're the fucking Black Sheep of the family, and they're not close within the same house. It is cool, because they won't rat me out to my parents and siblings. Like I need another damn minute with those assholes who overlook me). And a better part, their house is across the street from [[14 Branchland Court|Chrissy's house]]. Sadly, though, the blinds to [[Chris's room|his bedroom]] are always closed, but I still get some sights of him and the family out of their house.

I've arrived at my new home a few days ago on the 20th. I'll be spending my Sophmore year and so on in Greene County's High School. I promised I'd write to my gal back in Boston, but what happens here she doesn't have to know. [[File:Emot-dong.gif]] I'll have to make some new friends come September, but I'll be cool; I'm a stud!

I'll also miss my favorite duo of dudes, Jerry and Dino. They taught me the ropes of high school life; they both were 16. I looked up to them (like I would have for [[Carol Chandler|my older sister]] if she wasn't such a fuckin' cunt). They were a [[Homos|gay]] couple, and they respected me as a friend only. I made it my Final Realization I was not gay with the help of Jerry and my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]], Lisa. Sweet little whore took me in with gratitude on my 14th birthday. She had a few exes from [[Middle School]], and her mom was a Bondage Queen.

Before then, I had a gay experience in Summer Camp when I was 7. My bunkmates were experimenting, and made me their mo-fo unwilling guinea pig. I was blindfolded during the whole thing, feeling an 8-year old's [[pickle|dick]] up my ass. I was not thrilled from the ordeal. But [[January 2010|last January]], I became curious from the recalling of the feeling, so I asked Jerry to show me a night. At first it was neutral, then he made out with me; his breath was minty with a hint of garlic from something he ate; it was cool with me. Then he told me to suck his dick, and I did; the taste and sight did not thrill me. And he sucked [[Duck|mine]]. He got a rise out of me, but then I started to feel uneasy. It was minor at first, and I promised myself I'd see this through. Finally, he was in me doggy style. As he humped me, I was feeling it both in my penis, and in my gut; worsening as he went on. And eventually, I embarrassed myself grossly. I came AND fucking threw up simultaneously. Jerry had not come yet himself, and out of respect, he withdrew himself and asked me if I was okay. He cleaned me, and my mess on his floor up. I felt soo damn ashamed, but Jerry was kind and understanding to me. And it was then I confirmed it for myself that I was not gay, and Jerry and Dino agreed with me. So with that, I was able to move forward feeling more confident in my orientation. [[File:Emot-spergin.png]]

Anyway, after moving here, I have studied the times of exits and entries from the Chandler Chateau, looking for a pattern. There was definitely one with [[Bob|Robert]], morning for breakfast at [[Burger King|B.K.]] and afternoon outings to I.D.K. where. [[Barbara]] appears to come out mostly either in the afternoon or night; sometimes in the mornings. And Chris has no set pattern as far as I can tell yet.

But I'll post new stuff as I learn them, some with (hopefully embarrassing) photographs of Chris as I learn and take.

Smell ya later,
Junior Jenkins "Jinkies".|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=579&highlight=#579]</s></ref>}}

===Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)===
Another new thread. Parts of this message were obviously dictated to Chris by [[Bob]]. In it, Chris makes the absurd (but telling) assumption that the trolls are animal abusers, and was snapped at by the trolls in response:
{{quoteboxred|I've been keeping watch over Christian's house for any consistent patterns or LULZy details. I had seen none, even when I went over there while no one was at home. Although, I did mess up the [[cats]] a bit by stepping on their paws; the scratches and bites were worth it. All of the doors were locked (big surprise). Their garden was a big jungle (only half my height, though; about 2 feet high max). I found no incriminating evidence in their garbage.

But recently, I made a call to their house and pretended to be a fan of [[Sonichu]]. Bob was bored I guess, and he talked to me. After mentioning the Trolls, Bob said to me, "Sissies that hide behind screen names and the [[internet]] are the biggest bunch of cowards and the scum of the earth. They are afraid to come out one-on-one, face-to-face. [[Hooker incident|They would hide behind their mothers' skirts.]]" Then he directed to one of our own he found out somehow, "Females are the worst; such as Miranda "Enjoy The Big [[Pickle]]" Cosgrove." That surprised me greatly, but in defensefor you, Miranda, Bob would be of no match against you.

Then Bobby said, "Meet me in person at [[Burger King]] in [[Ruckersville]] Any Day between 9:30 & 10:30 AM, and I will talk to you and your friends and answer your questions. Christian and I are not afraid and have nothing to hide. We are [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] and above bored." We chatted some more and then he hung up.

I'd say let's troll Bobby further to get to Chrissy. I went there this morning; he was civil and gave me some info on Chris, such as that he has a complete collection of [[Wikipedia:50 State quarters|the United State Quarters]] on a Map (What a dumb way to save [[money]]). He also calls Chris a good boy (I agree with him; he ain't grown up). And, ooh, this is a good one; Chris tried to roller skate, and fell multiple times, even though he did a lot better on Ice Skates at the Ice Park (a class he took at [[PVCCitizens]]).

I'm sure the more of us that go to Bobby and talk to him, the more information we can get out of him about Chrissy for our schemes.

I'll continue to keep watch and let y'all know when something new and lulzy comes up.

Junior Jenkins.|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=953&highlight=#953]</s></ref>}}

=== Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 AM)===
In response to a thread announcing that Chris had discovered Trollin Train. Chris includes completely incredible lies about his persona's activities, and makes sure to use JenkinsJinkies as a catspaw to compliment himself:
{{quoteboxred|Chris found this Forum?!!! I agree with you, Miranda, what if Chris doesn't download our virus at all; he's reading our plans, he may just boycott downloading ANYTHING new from [[ModNation Racers|ModNation]] or [[LittleBigPlanet|LittleFuckPlanet]]. And even IF [[Sony]] doesn't read what he wrote, they are aware of our shit as well. I tell ya, he ain't hiding, he's snitchin' on us for the fuckin' "good" of every lazy fuck on the PSN. Anti-Viruses can be put into any next Update now.

Plus, Chris may come out of hiding and make a video to put the close on our fuckin' repeated death rumor. And I have noticed something else, with my Laptop, I managed to use a bit of his Wi-Fi (it goes all around his yard). It Disappears Nightly, and sometimes Daily. He's Unplugging his Internet, keeping us out.

[[File:Emot-frogsiren.gif]]

I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1011&highlight=#1011]</s></ref>}}

The "virus" he mentions was in reference to a thread in which trolls claimed to be putting viruses into ''LBP'' and ''ModNation'' DLC that Chris would be likely to download. Note that [[wikipedia:Bellows (photography)|"Accordian Cameras"]] have not been used for over a century.

===That plan is NO GOOD (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:48 AM)===
Chris discovered a hypothetical discussion about digging up his dead dog, and, distressed, tried desperately to discourage the notion:
{{quoteboxred|I personally took a closer look at [[Patti Chandler|Patti]]'s grave; it is Harder to break in than [[Wikipedia:United States Bullion Depository|fort fuckin' knox]]. the body is buried deep underground with Cement Blocks covering the site, and her [[Father Call|HEAVY Dog House]] is on top of those Cement Blocks. I wouldn't be surprised if they Cemented her grave as well. Also, the site is Heavily Surrounded by Trees and Heavy Branches; it's like Deepest in the Mine Shaft with Cave-Ins happening all the time.|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1012&highlight=#1012]</s></ref>}}

=== Nah, dude (Thu 26 Aug 2010 4:55 AM)===
In response to a thread about getting [[The Bear]] to call Chris "Mr. Poopy Head" so that Chris would have to rename himself to "Mr. Poopy Head Weston Chandler". The post was likely made in the wrong thread, as it appears to be a response to <nowiki>http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=83 Christian Weston Chandler: 1982 - 2010</nowiki>
{{quoteboxred|Do you really think he's that retarded? To perform a Repeated Act is fucktarded. Like we ALL know he is alive; I am watching him, his family and his house daily; it is POINTLESS and Redickulous to remake the Rumor of his death. We should Not Repeat performances, because he will be Expecting them and Knowing very well to ignore the Trite Fucktardedness.|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1062&highlight=#1062]</s></ref>}}

=== Hey, the Equipment and the Digging (Thu 26 Aug 2010 5:12 AM)===
Another post in the thread regarding digging up Patti. Apparently thinking his earlier efforts weren't enough to discourage trolls, Chris tries to terrify them into inaction with a completely retarded self-aggrandising tale featuring ghosts and evil spirits. This was the post where Chris fully dropped his "disguise", erasing any possibility that even the stupidest people could believe his nonsense to be real. Not only that, but it makes absolutely no sense and raises many questions, including how a "ghost of 7-year old Chris" could exist if Chris did not [[Chris and death|die]] as a 7-year old, why a child that was in [[1980s#1989|1989]] at that age would refer to someone as a [[troll]] or why a [[Patti|ghost dog]] could talk. As is customary, Chris very unsubtly tries to paint himself as the victim, even through the proxy of Jenkins:
{{quoteboxred|It's all no good; the neighborhood is Very Often Quiet. The noise will be heard by someone, if not the Damndler family; someone would call the [[Jerkops|Police]] on us for sure. Besides which, I was Haunted by the spirit of the dog AND the child Monday Night.

I went over to Chris's house with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too; strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants]] here. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and my mind. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[Abusive babysitter|abusive babysitter called "Roache"]] locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of [[Nathanel Greene Elementary School]] holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a [[Family Guy|Scream of Silence]]; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence.

Next thing I knows, I am knocked back onto the cement block trail of the garden aisle, by the weight of a big dog, yet there was no dog. Wrists, Ankles and Neck still being hand-held, the child ghost leaves my mind, and then I hear a deep womanly voice, Growling at me as I smelled the stench of a dog's breath surrounding my nostrils. The voice says, "Do not mess with my master, my family or me, you infidel!" Next, I feel the sting of [[Patti|the dog]] biting into both of my ankles, one after the other. At that moment, I struggle back, leaving behind the lit flashlight I dropped earlier when my arms were being stretched out. And I limp as fast as I can back to my house, closing and locking the door behind me, gasping for breath and dripping with sweat. I limp to the bathroom with the shower and look in the mirror; what a gross mess I looked like. And I see a Big, Red Rash on the right side of my neck, and rashes on both of my wrists, from the hands that held them in place. And my pant legs were ripped, and he saw on both of my ankles rashes, and Teeth Marks of a Dog. I tried to scream again, but it was another silent scream. And I was unable to speak at all for Four Hours.

I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave. It is NOT worth it to have to suffer the Nightmare that can render you as damned silent as the [[Autistic]] child. And Patti is definitely not friendly to our dark kind.

[[List of Chris's lies|I tell you only the truth, my friends.]]|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</s></ref>}}

=== Dudes, you are not gonna believe this. (Sun 29 Aug 2010 1:22 PM)===
Another new thread, posted as a part of Chris's half-baked plot to get over nine thousand dollars for destroying his PS3:
{{quoteboxred|Even I could not believe it, but I was an Eye-Witness to Chris Smashing his own [[PSTriple]]. I had just gotten home from an outing with my family, when at about 4:00 on the afternoon of this Saturday the 28th, I saw Chris walk outside of his house with his Camera in one hand, a pair of workers gloves in his back pocket, and his PS3 in the other hand. I was curious, so I followed him to his backyard, where I watched from behind the gazebo. Thank God I was not seen by him. Yet Fuck Me for forgetting MY Camera.

Anyway, he had taken a busted Air Conditioner from his Junk Pile, placed his console onto it, placed the tripod to one side and detached the camera from it to get a close up of his fat face. I don't remember his shitty speech fully, but it was some stuff of finding peace within himself and was about to destroy the "vessel?" which held his "lonely, anguished self" from the past three years. Then he reattached the camera to the tripod, relocated it for a closer view, walked in front of it, put on the gloves, picked up the nearby brick and started WAILING on it. I was just all Shocked, I could barely move and believe my eyes. He was smashing the thing like asteroids at fucking Armageddon. He looked like he was not going to stop. But after a minute, he put down the brick, took off his gloves and turned the camera off. Also, he had removed the Removable cover with his decals on it; said he was keeping it as a momento or something. And he walked back to the house, carrying his camera and the pieces of his own Smashed PSTriple.

I would have posted sooner, but I was paralyzed with shock for hours; it was Horrifying to me. And later at about near 10:45 that night, I watched from the window of my room as he laid the smashed PS3 on his gravel driveway, and recorded Driving Over it with both of his Left Tires, about 4 or 5 times! My Shock continued more.

I finally recovered about a couple of hours ago, ate a Hungry Man Dinner; I could not eat at all since the first smashing. Then I remembered that I should really be posting this, so here I am.

OMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMG...|Chris<ref><s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1186&highlight=#1186]</s></ref>}}

==Sources==
<references/>
==External links==
*<s>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/ Trollin Train]</s> Dead.

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

NightStar2891 tweets

2017-09-13T19:13:59Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211317 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{see also|NightStar2891 leaked DMs‎}}

This page archives tweets from Chris's sockpuppet account, [[NightStar2891]]. Messages are color-coded green for Chris's main CWCSonichu account, blue for the NightStar2891 alt, and red for various trolls and other Twitter users.

==Profile==

===August 3rd===
{{quotebox|I'm just a filly from Ponyville.}}

===August 7th===
{{quotebox|I am a UVA graduate with a degree in psychological arts. Until I get my own office, I am working between McDonald's restaurants.

*Charlottesville, VA

*Born in 1991.}}

===September 2nd===
{{quotebox|Behold, as I am able to see into other dimensions, I can also see where Trolls and Cyber-Bullies Lurk, Hate and Harass. Exposé the Harassing Cyber-Bullies!

*Ruckersville, VA

*Born on February 24, 1982 }}

==Tweets==

===Admirer of Miss Chandler===
4 August

Chris (via his main CWCSonichu account):

{{quoteboxgreen|Found this just today; someone did a Great Job ponifying me for Their Twitter.

[[File:NightStar2.jpg|150px]]}}

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891, to give credit to the TRUE and HONEST artist #HarassCWCdirectly}}

Chris (via NightStar) replied:

{{quotebox|I am an admirer of Miss Chandler and her work. If you're saying She drew my piece based on her character, you are thrown Off, Sir.}}

{{quoteboxred|Of course Chris didn't draw this. The anatomy is too good. Isn't it a bitch when you don't get credit for your hard work though?}}

{{quotebox|I guess you would know. How many times have you Not got enough credit for your work?}}

===Concurring with Chris on Doopie===
5 August

{{quoteboxgreen|#MyFriendships Are Blossoming and True, and no Troll or Bully is going to kill my kindness, heart or soul!}}

{{quoteboxred|That may be but Doopie is NOT your friend as she specifically told you}}

{{quotebox|I concur with Miss Chandler. Upon reviewing her recent comments to Doopie, there was not one mention of "Not Your Friend". And, furthermore, to you, Reilly, being anything with the "KiwiFarms" is not cool. Go back to the dank soil where you came from, Troll.}}

Chris liked his sock's post, then tweeted:

{{quoteboxgreen|I already liked her for her rendition of Night Star, but I like her More now. Welcome aboard, Night Star. 😊🌸}}

===She is woman===
5 August

{{quoteboxred|Hey Chris since Doopie and most women for that matter are straight, don't you think that reverting back to a man would better your chances}}

{{quotebox|How Dare You Insult and be so Inconsiderate of Her like that? She Is Woman; she would Never Revert Back. You Are Soo God Awfu😡<br>**awful}}

===Accept responsibility===
5 August

{{quoteboxred|And I know you're going to soon blame the trolls for this. No. This was all you. No one else. Stop being in denial & accept responsibility.}}

{{quotebox|No, YOU Accept some Responsibility for Spamming Christine's Past to just about Everyone on her Contact List.}}

===Disappointed in leaks===
5 August

{{quoteboxgreen|Why is it that some people leak information to Trolls and CyberBullies? One of the questions that was on my mind for a while now. }}

{{quotebox|Personally, if anyone leaked anything between them and I, I would not be upset; just Disappointed in them.}}

===I'm not Chris===
7 August

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891 chris ? }}

{{quotebox|No.}}

{{quoteboxred|Hi Chris, nice alt 😸}}

{{quotebox|I am not Chris.}}

{{quoteboxred|I'll keep note of that, Chris 😽}}

{{quotebox|Please, I am not Chris. Stop mistaking me for her.}}

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891 did christine see my art its v important that she did i havent slept in probably over 48 hours please reply <br>i cant sleep until she sees it please
}}

{{quotebox|How should I know if she's seen it or not?}}

''Note: Shortly after, CWCSonichu liked [https://twitter.com/sp4rr_0w/status/894490402417295360 the fanart].''

{{quoteboxred|You share a lot of thing in common with chris}}

{{quotebox|Regardless, I am only a fan and follower of Miss Chandler, and also I trolled her. Thankfully she forgave me for that.}}

{{quoteboxred|Exactly. No One else Randomly capitalizes letters like He does.}}

{{quotebox|I do not do that very much.}}

{{quoteboxred|''deleted''}}

{{quotebox|I call BS on you.}}

{{quoteboxred|''deleted''}}

{{quotebox|I can find your comment without her help, thank you.}}

{{quoteboxred|''deleted''}}

{{quotebox|I am not Chris. Back off.}}

{{quoteboxred|''deleted''}}

{{quotebox|No}}

===Psychological arts major===
7 August

{{quoteboxred|You live in Virginia, you follow the same people as Christine, all you do is comment on her, she immediately noticed you when it took Days for others to do the same! YOU ARE CHRISTINE!}}

{{quotebox|I do not follow everything she does. For one, I am not a gamer. My passion is in arts and psychology. I work nearly all of the time. I can not be on my twitter 24 hours like you.}}

Chris then changed NightStar's profile to read: "I am a UVA graduate with a degree in psychological arts. Until I get my own office, I am working between McDonald's restaurants." The location and birth date was given as "Charlottesville, VA" and "Born in 1991."

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891 Hi! I'm curious about psychological arts. Can you tell me a little about it?}}

{{quotebox|Psychological Arts is the study of examining a person beyond talk through the various forms of art and media the person creates or enjoys.}}
{{quotebox|I can't believe I have to explain myself now. I used to be online through my sister, Gloria's social accounts. I only just felt ready to make a twitter for myself. I used to reside in Richmond, but moved to Charlottesville five years ago, where I attended UVA to get my degree in psychological arts. I've been working part time, then full time, at the McDonald's around here. I have a very hectic schedule I go between one after another after another each day. I was referred to Christine's art and books through Gloria, and I always viewed everything about her through those accounts. I find some free time during my breaks and at home nowadays to keep up with Christine. Also, I have my notifications set up, so I can just look at my device to catch her next tweet or whatever. I am not Chris; this is not an "alt account" of hers. Back off, and let me enjoy her and troll her like the rest of you. Goodnight.}}

===DMs betweem CWCSonichu and NightStar2891===

{{main|NightStar2891 leaked DMs}}

===Still not Chris===
14 August

{{quoteboxgreen|''link to [[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content]]''}}

{{quoteboxred|So you're saying you're @NightStar2891}}

{{quotebox|No}}

===Apology for Doopie and Tabitha===
15 August

Chris revealed that he was, in fact, NightStar. He tweeted a handwritten apology letter to Doopie and Tabitha St. Germain, along with custom drawings of MLP OCs for them. Both women had blocked him on his main CWCSonichu account - Doopie for his creepy behavior and Tabitha for the swarm of trolls that follow him and end up in her Twitter timeline.

<center><gallery>
Image:NightStarApologyLetter1.png
Image:NightStarApologyLetter2.png
File:BubbleGummy.jpg|@DoopieDoOver An apology piece for you, dear.
File:TabithaDrawing.jpg|@StTabitha An apology piece for you, dear.
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|Transcript|

An Open Letter to all Twitter Followers:

Dearest People,

Confession Time: Originally Intended for laying low, and to keep a distant bond, still, on a few hurt individuals I like and cared about, after that one-tweet-wonder mess... This Twitter account, @NightStar2891, Is me, Christine Chandler. Again, that mentioned twee was truly with my heart in the right place, to share appreciation for and of the women I've been able to make contact and acquaintance with. Then some other people took wrongful attack upon them at my expense. I felt terrible about that. Two of them blocked me, but hater-informed in that. I pray they will unblock and open up to me again soon. This also is reflected in the MLP Season 7 episode "Fame & Misfortune", the mane six, or five of them, were not used to being criticized, overly, by fan ponies, as well as misread and misunderstood. I, too, felt All This as early 2007; "I'm popular, and I don't like it," said Applejack, and how Rarity overreacted; Fluttershy having to explain herself repeatedly... All That Was Me, and it took a long time to adjust and become resistant to the hate, I Am in control of how these various reactions to my Sonichu and self, content make me feel and react. I try to not let the Critics get to me anymore. And everyone affected by the misunderstood Tweet of mine, you all have control to not let the haters and Trolls affect you at all. too.

Continued...

This Night Star Twitter was a lay-low alternative for me after that fiasco. I was Not originally going to Tweet from it. Then one of the trolls contacted me; I was tempted to Troll the Trolls now. Dumb: Me. Pffft. But the Trolls, on their forum, have admitted to being well-confused with my characters creation of this Richmond gal with a UVA degree working around and around. I can be quite the actress. Even In Simulating Other Fonts from other people. Regardless, lying all that was wrong of me, and I am sorry for lying in this.

And, as I was finally able to share at BronyCon, with a lot of people, I am, by default, a kind, understanding, compassionate, heart-in-the-right-place person & individual. And I enjoy sharing genuine, pleasant smiles, moments and memories with others, and my heart is open. I would delight in all of us putting this Twitter mishap set behind us and moving on towards being better people. Thank you.

Sincerely, and with all my heart with love, I'm Sorry,

Miss Christine W. Chandler.}}

Doopie was not pleased:

{{quoteboxyellow|I told you to leave me alone. It's not the trolls' fault. This is my personal decision. I'm not interested in being friends with you. Stop.

Also, making a second account is even worse. Just move on.}}

Chris persisted, wanting to have the last word:

{{quotebox|All I wanted to do right now was make up for my mistake. Also, count how many times I had messaged you at all since you had blocked me, before Tuesday. None. I will leave you alone. I am sorry for the whole mess. Take care.}}

Doopie blocked his NightStar account.

===Twitter spam for Tabitha===
16 August

Directly following the events of the previous tweets, a ween replied to the Tabitha MLP drawing, tagging Tabitha St. Germain:

{{quoteboxred|Laughing my arse off knowing that the voice actress for Fatty's favorite pony (Rarity) finally got sick of his creepy antics and Blocked him}}

This got Tabitha's attention:

{{quoteboxyellow|I blocked Chris, yes. Not for her own sake. I don't know her. But because of the vile cloud of trolls that follows her & ends up in my tl.

I do not understand why you would set up accounts only so that you can poke fun at someone. This is parasitic behaviour. Not okay here.}}

Chris liked Tabitha's tweets, then decided to launch into a 21-tweet essay, in spite of Tabitha having repeatedly said, just then and to Chris's CWCSonichu account on 3 August, that she does not appreciate people cluttering her Twitter feed with Internet drama:

{{quotebox|I understand your concern, Tabitha; I was harassed by these trolls for the number of years. And you have your rights and choices like I do, and you are in control for yourself on how they affect you. I have learned and adjusted to them, I mostly tune out their hate but when it affects people I like at my expense, that distresses me. But despite this cloud of theirs that I do not let affect me anymore, I am genuinely a kind, thoughtful person. I have learned from my mistakes and flaws, and as wisdom-filled and I, I still am open to new lessons God and life throws at me, as well as reminders of past lessons that may escape my mind once in a while. I went to BronyCon last weekend, and I was finally able to demonstrate and share my own kindness and smiles with a Lot of people. Cathy Weseluck, Kelly Sheridan, Daniel Ingram and all four CMCs too. Especially Cathy, very wise, saw me there in front of her, and appreciated me some. And Kelly, I mentioned my Troll problem with her, and she had another wise moment in her response, she said to me, “You’ve made it”; I realized right there she meant in my success, and I felt more happy and appreciated. That will be in my heart and memory forever.

And, Tabitha, I was able to relate and see myself, as I had felt the same way, Years ago, on the hatred from the trolls; copy/paste Rarity’s stress towards my own depression that lasted for years, until I was able to pull myself out with my own soul-searching result of realizing I’ve been a female soul my whole life, and coming out as a lesbian transwoman. Now, I am feeling more love for myself from that, and then some, from communities in Pride, and recently in Bronies, I have so much of my own positivity to keep my heart filled for a very long time, and I am more or less immune to the hate. I agree it is shameful of these people to have accounts just to haze at me and all others, Soo uncouth. But you and I, we can control how they affect us or not, and we can report them, and block them, until such a time when they each finally realize this hatred, despite that they may not understand how to communicate in love, or refuse to, and move forward, ourselves emotionally and mentally matured a bit more, stronger.

I won’t ask you to unblock my main Twitter handle. But I would like to be able to connect with you now and then, and maybe earn your friendship. Thank you, Tabitha, for your understanding and fashionable, graceful kindness, as well as what you teach us through many voices, including Rarity and Luna’s. My heart goes out to you.}}

Tabitha reacted by blocking his NightStar account.

===Mistaking derision for praise===
16 August

A troll questioned how Chris could have thought NightStar would have fooled anyone:
{{quoteboxred|whoa, how was it not already obvious that you were night star, chris?}}

Chris interpreted it wrong:

{{quotebox|The style in the Night Star piece in the avatar and banner; I made those too, with help from references online to assemble in photoshop. 😊}}

===Trump resigned?!===
16 August

Chris noticed a retweet on Tabitha's timeline:

Dominique Hamilton:
{{quoteboxred|This will be Donald Trump best tweet of all time, break twitter records. Celebrations across the globe. @realdonaldtrump #wednesdaywisdom

[[File:Trumpresigns.png|200px]]}}

Chris:

{{quotebox|Oh My Gosh!!!!}}

Five minutes later, Chris said, via CWCSonichu:

{{quoteboxgreen|Okay, I overreacted; I just realized that was a photoshopped tweet. But if @realDonaldTrump actually tweeted that, I would OMG all over.}}

At this point, Tabitha blocked his account.

===Role-playing how to use dear and darling===
{{see also|LadyOfTheCosmo#Aftermath}}
25 August, 11:10 pm

After getting scolded by [[LadyOfTheCosmo]] on Twitter for calling her dear, Chris used NightStar to demonstrate how "dear" and "darling" should be used and interpreted.

{{quotebox|@CWCSonichu Y'all know what? Here is an example y'all Should Follow}}

{{quotebox|@CWCSonichu I've heard you've been having a tough time with some haters. You don't deserve that, darling.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Thank you, dear. I am relieved to hear your kindness. And with hearing the kind term, I feel grateful that at least you like me.}}

{{quotebox|That is so kind of you. And I can tell you like me too. And I know you mean that neutrally, and you would never do anything to harass me.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Of course, dear. I never mean to harass anyone; I am just misunderstood by some people. Ugh.}}

Chris then reacted to the people expressing incredulity at seeing him essentially talk to himself:

{{quoteboxgreen|I was showing an Example of how the terms should be accepted; I was aware of me talking with myself, but to Prove The Point, People!}}

===Critiquing caricature art===
27 August

{{quoteboxred|@CWCSonichu as he draws himself as @NightStar2891

[[File:Fanart Chris drawing nightstar.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|That is an awful piece. That was drawn with spite and hatred, I can tell; Not cool, nor okay.}}

29 August

{{quoteboxred|Another Funny picture, starring @NightStar2891 as the Warrior of Love!

[[File:Fanart warrior of love.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|That is not how I look; I am not [[Chris and Reality|ugly]] nor [[Obesity|fat]] like that. This is a terrible piece. Not to mention that I am tall; those legs are disproportioned.}}

30 August

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891 's mega evelution

[[File:Fanart nightstar evolution.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|That's Not funny. One more Bad Art from you, and I'm Blocking you from this account.}}

Someone else asked:

{{quoteboxred|@NightStar2891 I'd like to hear your thoughts on this drawing.

[[File:Fanart tired drawing.jpg|200px]]}}

{{quotebox|It's tired.}}

===See how Christine is supportive, not harassing; unblocking everyone===
2 September

[[File:Nightstar cap JULAY.png|One set of the screencaps.|thumb]]

{{quotebox|See How Christine Chandler is actually being Supportive, and yet the Trolls do all of the Harassing to separate people.}}

Chris then tweeted '''101 screencaps''' of comments between himself, the women who blocked him, and many weens.

He then tweeted, via CWCSonichu:

{{quoteboxgreen|Hey, #Twitter ! Check the Screen Caps for the Real Bullies who Should Have Been Blocked!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|By the way, in case nobody noticed, I've Unblocked Everyone!}}

Afterwards, he used both the NightStar2891 and CWCSonichu accounts to address commentators:

@CareBears133:
{{quoteboxred|So here's a list of what I know is Chris's accounts @Vinyl_star1, @CWCSonichu, @NightStar2891, if you get contacted by these accounts Please proceed with caution.

Another one of his stalker accounts is @MLPGal

@FantaFAN1982 is yet another stalking account made by Chris.

@PrettyPonyTween Is a account that I suspect to be Chris, I have no proof of this though.
}}

{{quotebox|Not me.

Not me.

Not me.

Nope

Definitely not me

@CareBears133 The Only Alt-Account I have, is This One, that I am tweeting you from.
}}

@LewanKICKski:
{{quoteboxred|Your creepy ways shall not last old man! @NightStar2891 has joined us in spreading the word about you!}}

{{quotebox|Nope, I did not.
}}

@CareBears133:
{{quoteboxred|Why don't you answer my accusations Chris?}}

{{quotebox|I believe I just did.
}}

@MariaJunice:
{{quoteboxred|You're insane, Chris. This is not a separate account and you have no friends or a life.}}

NightStar retweeted this comment. CWCSonichu replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|I Have Friends, and I Have a Life. Go find your friends and share your life with them.}}

@polarnasu:
{{quoteboxred|how fucking stupid are you Chris? Like legitimately?}}

{{quotebox|Stupid Enough to Retweet ya, dawg.
}}

@Banana_Poppy:
{{quoteboxred|YOU ARE CHRISTINE. YOU DO REALISE YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH ACTING JUST LIKE A TROLL RIGHT?}}

{{quotebox|If I have to in order to serve justice to y'all, then yeah, but I'm Not a Cyber-Bullying Hater; that is the difference between Y'all and I.
}}

@CareBears133:
{{quoteboxred|So can I ask? Why are you using alt accounts to defend alt accounts? Lmao.}}

{{quotebox|No. Only to fall back, and right now, pull some Leslie Jones-Inspired action against y'all haters and Bullies.}}

{{quoteboxred|You are Chris, btw you are not a woman.}}

{{quotebox|I Am a woman, UnCareBear.
}}

@Poohsif1:
{{quoteboxred|Did you ever donate to the Red Cross?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes

[[File:Redcrossdonation.jpg|200px]]}}

@Deadderson:
{{quoteboxred|You need to stop, you're not making it any better.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|And you are? I don't think so.}}

@DEVIL_MAN25 :
{{quoteboxred|You sure showed them chris.. You're the master troll :/}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No, not the Master. The Master Troll is Count Graduon, who controls 4Chan, Anonymous, and every other hater-fueled Bully Lot.}}

@CareBears133:
{{quoteboxred|Guys go to my profile and look at my pinned tweet, Chris spergs out at me with mostly all his alt accounts.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Not My Accounts.}}

@[[LadyOfTheCosmo]]:
{{quoteboxred|@CWCSonichu Why are you following me again? I thought you unfollowed me for a reason that we both know}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Call it an impulse, since I've just unblocked everyone on my list; since I have forgiven you of the insults; since I like your style. 🌸}}

Lady and Hellbent liked his post.

{{quoteboxred|My.... style?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Your art style, and I do appreciate your confident sassy 'tude. I've seen similar from other people I've met, and we shared a smile/respect. My papa raised me on music, and there was lots of soul in that Jazz. And the history; so much pain. I dig.

We're cool. Stay safe with peace. 🌸😊
}}

{{quoteboxred|The only thing we shared was a fight. There were no smiles that day, nor respect for a single word I said. So there was no "peace"}}

{{quoteboxgreen|You've misread that comment: I shared the smiles and respect with the other people who were sassy and fun. And I respect you too.}}

@handofgalochio:
{{quoteboxred|He is trying to be "kind"... and also called me a troll.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Did I? I haven't fully gone through the screen shots and highlighted anyone yet. I only make the call when the offense is just. Don't cuss.}}

@Eclair_Pearl:
{{quoteboxred|Go look at this account! @CareBears133 he spergs out when anyone says dear or uses 💖😊🌸 it's EASY to make him think you're CWC!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I Know! It's like Everybody likes an emoji now and then; the UnCareBear doesn't get that.}}

{{quoteboxred|they're very common Emojis. Yep, don't need any proof than to use the same words and emojis.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yep, he crazy-naive.}}

@MariaSa06062941:
{{quoteboxred|He's trying to turn you into Doopie, @LadyOfTheCosmo}}

{{quoteboxgreen|If I was turning anyone into Doopie, there's be more light-blondes right now.}}

Lady and Hellbent liked his post.

@MariaJunice:
{{quoteboxred|Lady, you've never shared anything with Chris. He is off his rocker.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|If I'm off my rocker, then you're off your clock-a-doodle-doo. Also, Wrong Pronoun: that should be "She is off her rocker", please.}}

[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] entered the fray as Howard Winslow.

@hwinslow3:
{{quoteboxred|@carebears133 a bunch of those accounts are weens pretending to be chris}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Not really, but their hearts are in the right place.}}

@MariaSa06062941:
{{quoteboxred|[[File:Fanart CWC lady harassment .jpg|200px]]}}

{{quoteboxgreen|That's not funny. Again, I am not short legged, and I am Not [[fat]] or [[ego|large-headed]].}}

@HPD7D:
{{quoteboxred|I'm making an animation about chris and ladyofthecosmo's twitter battle. me and a friend roleplayed the conversation. i voiced chris.

''he linked to [https://twitter.com/HPD7D/status/903705351312334850 the animation]''}}

{{quoteboxgreen|That is not funny; it's insulting, and not accurate to me at all. 😔 Most disappointing.}}

@hourglas776 (Chris):
{{quoteboxred|You make me ashamed to share the same name as you}}

{{quoteboxgreen|

Do not be ashamed of your name.
}}

@UnCareBear133:
{{quoteboxred|I really do take full responsibility for this right now, I've made Chris go insane.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|No, it's not you.}}

@CroppedConifer
{{quoteboxred|Chris is an infant. When he is hungry, he thinks everyone is. He is making up an "offense" to forgive you with, to "make" you forgive him.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Speak for yourself; go make and eat a sandwich.}}

===Still replying to trolls===
3 September
@UnCareBear123
{{quoteboxred|He wants to show how good of a person he is. Just want to throw it out there, do we all agree that Chris is just in it for that China.}}
{{quotebox|I Am a woman, UnCareBear.}}
Chris retweeted the above and replied.
{{quotebox|You've Just been Retweeted, Jerk.}}

@MariaSa06062941
{{quoteboxred|In fact, you doing this and tagging a celebrity for attention is downright disgusting. Leave all these poor women alone.}}
Chris retweeted the above and replied.
{{quotebox|You've just been Retweeted for your insult, and misconception of me.}}

@UnCareBear123
{{quoteboxred|Chris, you never did answer my question. Will I ever be a villain in the sonichu comic?}}
{{quotebox|Graduon does not see you as worthy; a common Hater Troll.}}

@MariSa06062941
{{quoteboxred|Chris, quit trying to pretend like you care about this young girl to impress Tara @tarastrong . You're not a compassionate person}}
Chris retweeted the above and replied
{{quotebox|That's another RT; I Am compassionate.}}

@Resr_Reverb
{{quoteboxred|hey I only associate gender to those who earn the title and no thanks since hard realism is labeled too bad to see.}}
Chris retweeted the above and replied
{{quotebox|Your hatred based on gender and transgender has just been Retweeted.}}

{{Tweets}}
{{The Internet}}

The GAMe PLACe

2017-09-13T19:13:27Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211316 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:The-Game-Place.jpg|thumb|The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Image:GamePlace2.jpg|thumb|Another angle, revealing The GAMe PLACe to be adjacent to a Staples store.]]
[[Image:HNI_0020.JPG|thumb|The inside of the PLACe as of 27 October 2011.]]

{{Quote|I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris, being oddly prophetic in [[10 January 2014|two ways]]<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>}}

'''The GAMe PLACe''' (also known as '''Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys''') was a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]], [[video game]], [[Card games|card]], [[Toys|toy]] and [[Tomgirl|hobby]] shop in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]]. From at least [[2002]]<ref>In his [[Chris's resume|resume]], Chris says that in June [[2002]] he became a Gym Leader’s Assistant in The GAMe PLACe, so he must have been a patron of the store by that time. It is not known whether or not he started frequenting the store at an earlier date.</ref> up until the summer of [[2008]], Chris hung out there on a regular basis, going there every Friday without fail to play the ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' [[TCGs]]. The shop hosted the [[Wikipedia:Pokémon_Organized_Play#Pok.C3.A9mon_TCG_Leagues|''Pokémon TCG'' League]], where Chris served as a self-proclaimed volunteer gym leader (though he was not endorsed in any way, and was largely simply tolerated by the store).

After a long period of increasingly disruptive behavior, and repeated warnings from staff, Chris was permanently kicked out of the store by one of the [[manager]]s, [[Michael Snyder]], on 6 June [[2008]]. After his permanent ban, Chris attempted several times to regain access to the store, to no avail thanks to Michael's insistence.

Following the judgement after the [[28 October 2011]] incident ([[#The_Charlottesville_Incident|see below]]), Chris was forced to keep away from Michael Snyder at all times, which by extension meant that he was permanently banned from the store by law after the judgement, up to its closing in [[June 2014]].

==People of Note==
Chris originally met [[Megan Schroeder]] at The GAMe PLACe in [[2005]], where they bonded over their shared interest in ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. Megan continued to hang out at the shop even after her friendship with Chris [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|collapsed]] in the spring of [[2008]], although their relationship by that point was strained to say the least. Once she broke off all contact with Chris, she did her best to ignore him entirely when they were at the store at the same time.

The other two best-known patrons of the shop, aside from Chris himself, are [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. The two friends are the primary source of most of what is known about Chris's behavior at The GAMe PLACe (and most of the information in this article), which they revealed during a detailed [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] on the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC forums]]. They're also famous for having taken and uploaded the first photograph of Chris to reach the Internet, which Mimms snapped and Lucas uploaded to [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] in the fall of [[2007]].

Michael Snyder was one of the store's managers until he became the owner around October 2011. Chris often mistakenly referred to Snyder as the store's owner long before he purchased the store. Snyder would eventually become one of Chris's real-life enemies when he kicked Chris out of the store in the summer of 2008.<ref name=ban>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms' and Lucas' Q&A: Chris's ban from the store.]]</ref>

==Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|Chris would rarely ever shake anyone's hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer.|Mimms}}

[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|left|Chris acting his age.]]
[[Image:TonyTyAndBriana.jpg|thumb|Some regulars.]]

In his early days at The GAMe PLACe, Chris's behavior seems to have been more "childlike", for lack of a better word. According to Mimms, who was a regular at the store for the entire time Chris hung out there, Chris avoided using foul language when he first started gaming at the store.<ref name=homo>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Racism_and_homophobia|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Racism and Homophobia]]</ref> He also never failed to show up for ''Pokémon'' games in his old [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum costume]].

The costume was eventually retired, however (by the time of the 2007 photo, Chris was showing up in his usual [[clown shirt]]s and [[Sonichu medallion]]s), and Chris's behavior grew more aggressive and vulgar over the years. According to Mimms and Lucas, Chris often became angry at his card-game opponents, even small children. An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_pissed_that_Chris_is_nosing_in_her_business|October 2007 e-mail]] from Megan mentions an incident where Chris was extremely threatening and insulting to a guy whom he thought was putting the moves on his gal-pal.

Mimms recounted a few instances of Chris displaying his blatant racism with his dislike and distrust of black people. He was openly suspicious of the young black kids he played ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' with, apparently because he thought they were going to make off with his cards.<ref name=mimms1>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms & Lucas Q&A: Initial Post]]</ref> Chris also nearly managed to earn himself a beating from an older black gamer by the name of TJ:

{{quote|Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like he's going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face-down monster..."|Mimms, [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

Likewise, Chris's [[homophobia]] occasionally surfaced while he was hanging out at the shop. A [[gay]] regular at the shop by the name of Eric was the target of mockery, insults, and threats from Chris (although Mimms noted that, for [[Obesity|obvious reasons]], Chris wasn't likely to ever do him any great physical harm).<ref name=homo/> Chris also assumed that two of the shop's regulars were gay because they happened to exchange a few jokingly romantic remarks--his [[Autism|literal mind]] took that as proof that they were a couple.<ref name=homo/>

==Chris the Card Gamer==
[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb|Chris stares down his youthful opponent.]]

{{quote|Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played.|Mimms, summing up Chris.<ref name=mimms2>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Follow_up|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>}}

Though he apparently spent plenty of money buying new cards at the store<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_as_a_customer|Mimms and Lucas Q&A: Chris as a Customer]]</ref> and built them into a sizable collection of themed decks, Chris didn't have any aptitude for deck-building or strategy in the ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' trading card games. Even when playing against small children, he rarely won games or advanced in tournaments, although Mimms recounts one occasion where Chris managed to win a match on a day when most of the regular players were absent, and proudly hollered "I'M THE LEVEL-UP KING!"<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris often declares that he was a gym leader in the store's ''Pokémon'' league (an older player who manages tournaments, keeps track of wins and losses, and so forth). It's mentioned on his [[Chris's resume|résumé]], for instance, and he talks about it in the [[Father Call]]. However, his memory has apparently inflated his role considerably. "He wasn't actually a gym leader," says Mimms, but rather a substitute who took the place of the regular gym leader on a few occasions. He also wasn't very good at the job, reportedly becoming angry and snapping at the players he was supposed to be taking care of.<ref name=mimms2/> This earned him his first ban from the store, lasting two weeks, which, according to Lucas, began on 4 April 2008.<ref name=ban/>

To Chris's very slight credit, Mimms says he did resist using his custom ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards in actual games.<ref name=mimms1/> Mimms and Lucas also noted that he played the [[Card games#UFS_(Ultimate_Fighting_System)_TCG|''Universal Fighting System'' card game]], often playing female characters such as [[Soul Calibur|Cassandra]] and [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]].

==The GAMe PLACe Photograph==
[[Image:Chrischannov2007.jpg|thumb|right|Blurry because Mimms was trying to be covert.]]

In the fall of 2007, Chris discovered the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page devoted to him. There, he also discovered a blurry photograph of himself, which had been taken and posted to 4chan by Mimms and Lucas respectively.

Though he'd already pretty thoroughly blown a gasket over the ED page, Chris went even crazier trying to discover the identity of the photographer. In an e-mail to [[Anna McLerran]] from [[November 2007]], he mentions pestering the staff of The GAMe PLACe to go through their anti-theft camera footage to find out who had taken the photo.<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2007#November|Chris E-mails: November 2007]]</ref> Unsurprisingly, they weren't very cooperative. According to Mimms, Chris complained about the photo and the ED page so loudly and frequently at the store that the management eventually threatened to kick him out if he didn't stop.

Chris also complained to his mother, who apparently became as angry or more so. At one point, early in November, Chris's parents visited the store and interrogated Mimms as to the origin of the photo. After Mimms admitted that he had snapped the picture (but feigned ignorance as to how it found its way onto the Internet), they threatened to take legal action, but never actually did so.<ref name=mimms2/>

Chris's "investigations" continued on and off for months after he originally found the picture. In an e-mail to Megan (sent in [[March 2008]] and oddly situated in-between desperate apologies for the porn he drew of her), he recounts an indirect confrontation with Lucas at [[GameStop]] on 8 March.

{{quote|So it brought up to mind my first word being "Monkey", so I told Mimms that. And with a turn around towards the accompanying Lucas, I said in his direction, "Well, that's something new you didn't know about 'be-4' about this 'Chan'." I noticed a look on his face like, "Wow, I can totally wail on that tidbit of information." He said nothing.|Chris's idea of subtlety, from the [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_emails_her_some_detective_work.2C_Megan_likely_doesn.27t_give_a_shit|Megan e-mails]].}}

Later, Lucas gave his own interesting take on the story.

{{quote|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that e-mail.|Lucas, [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Trolling_Chris_at_the_Game_Place|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]}}

==Chris Gets the Boot==
Chris's behavior offended the store's management and customers in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist and homophobic creep, he would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The straw that broke the camel's back was an incident in the summer of [[2008]], where Chris got into a shouting match with a young [[Niggo|black]] kid. That particular incident triggered Chris's permanent ban from the store, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says Mimms.<ref name=mimms1/> While Mimms' recollection was that the permanent ban took place in August, Chris's correspondence indicates that it must have occurred on the first Saturday of June.<ref>This is arrived at by a comparison of Chris's emails to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his GAMe PLACe friends during this summer.</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[Jerkops]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and from that point onward every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.<ref name=mimms1/>

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own version of events. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Mike's last straw and he booted him then.

According to the [[CWCipedia]] article for [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder Megan Schroeder], Chris claims that Megan was there the day he was banned and claimed that she just stood there in shock, refusing to speak up for him. In reality, of course, she was simply disgusted by his behavior like any rational person would have been and relieved that his banning would be the last time Chris would ever be in her sight.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Megan_Schroeder</ref> Also, she refused to defend Chris not because of shock, but because of his sexual harassment, destruction of her dignity, anger issues, and overall immaturity, ultimately cementing the fact that nobody wants Chris to ever return to the store.

In February 2011, Chris mentioned in [[Autism Tutorial Part 3]] that he still feels bitter over his banning.

==Unbanning Attempts==
[[Image:Episode200Comment.PNG|thumb|Chris recounts flipping Michael Snyder the bird.]]

Chris repeatedly attempted to overcome his ban and gain readmission to the store. As mentioned in [[Chris_E-mails_2008#July|a July 2008 e-mail]], Chris sent a letter to Michael Snyder shortly after his initial 1-month ban. In [[March 2009]], he attempted to apologize in the best way he knew how: [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|posting a video to YouTube on the off-chance the individual addressed would see it.]] This was [[Chris and remorse|not the most sincere apology in the world]], since Chris made it clear in a [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|later video]] that he doesn't really understand why he was thrown out in the first place. A month later, in [[April 2009]], Chris attempted to sneak into the store, but when a cashier recognized him and caught him, Chris ran [[Sonichu's Edge|as far away as he could]].

Almost two years after his initial ban from The GAMe PLACe, Chris would try again to get the ban lifted. Chris's conversations with Jackie reveal that he attempted to go to The GAMe PLACe after church on 11 [[April 2010]]. When he was once again recognized by a cashier who threatened to call the cops, Chris got angry and bolted. The next day, Chris visited the store again to talk to Michael Snyder in an attempt to have the ban removed. However, the visit did not turn out in Chris's favor, as [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio from the incident]] shows. Michael refused to revoke the ban (later noting on YouTube, that Chris was actually reading the apology from a pre-written script<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y YouTube comment by Mike.]</ref>) and Chris took this about as well as could be expected; he flipped Michael off,<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw YouTube comment by Chris.]</ref> called him a '''''JEW''''', and left the store in a huff. [[Chris and the law|The police were called]] about the incident, according to Mimms, but Chris was already long gone by the time they arrived. No charges were pressed, likely because nobody was actually physically abused.

Later that day, Chris uploaded the audio of the incident to [[YouTube]], accompanied by a description soliciting harassment and "trolling" of Michael and his fellow employees. However, it was removed from the site in a matter of hours due to a "Terms of Use Violation". Considering [[Chris and race|Chris's antisemitic remark]] directed at Michael, his invitation for others to harass him, and the possibly illegal nature of the recording, it's not hard to see why it was wiped off the website.

Chris has never fully understood why he was kicked out of the store. According to Mimms, Chris didn't see what was wrong with his behavior at the time,<ref name=ban/> and he evidently hasn't reflected on the subject much in the intervening years. During the April 2010 visit to the store, the only possible grounds for his ban he could remember was the aforementioned "Wii Incident". Later, when he posted an ad on CWCipedia complaining about Snyder's refusal to lift the ban, Chris appeared to believe that the store manager refused to let him in because he hated him personally and [[Kick the Autistic|people with autism in general]].

In [[October 2010]], Chris made [[100 2261.MOV|yet another request]] to be readmitted. Wearing an ancient ''Pokémon'' League T-shirt, he apologized for his behavior and said that the ban was his fault, blaming the whole thing on his infamous "[[stress]]". He also claimed to have only "shouted a loud outburst" twice. Unsurprisingly, Mike wasn't [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)|moved]].

With Chris's continued failure to overturn the ban, it was clear that his chances of winning entry to The GAMe PLACe were almost as remote as the chances of his [[duck]] winning entry to [[China]] without the use of commercial services.

==The Charlottesville Incident==
[[File:Sny.PNG|thumb|300px|Sonichu wishes Chris luck in his next murder attempt.]]

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris visited The GAMe PLACe. [[6 June 2010|He claimed]] that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder so he could print it out and use it as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police. Snyder's version was more succinct:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by [[jerkop|the police]]. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his [[car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.}}

The police listened to Chris rant about the trolls for a while and eventually made him delete the pictures and sent him home with a warning. Chris did not tell his parents anything and it would be [[Matthew Noble call|two months]] before they would learn about it.

==Crime Story==
[[File:GAMe_PLACe_Cyber-Bully_Hang-Out_Ad.png|thumb|300px|The coupon itself.]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}

On 28 October 2011, Chris and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] got arrested and ended up facing multiple charges; hit-and-run (both), misdemeanor assault, trespassing (Chris), and attacking a law official (Barb). Going by the details of said charges, as well as photographs uploaded to [[CWCki|this very wiki]] by Chris himself, it can be assumed that the two tried to enter the store, Chris got in a fight with Michael, the two tried and failed to escape the parking lot before the police arrived, damaging something in the process, and when the cops showed up Barb tried to stop them from arresting Chris.

After the incident, Chris used a 10% off coupon found in the local newspaper to produce an anti-GAMe PLACe flyer - stating that it was a "cyber-bullies hang-out" and encouraging people to "stay far away". He also stated that the PLACe will go down by "[his] will, or by someone elses fire-on-a-stick and bombs" suggesting he has learned absolutely nothing from his chastening court experience.

===Google Maps Spamming===
A scathing review of the place on Google Maps written by one "[[Bob Chandler|Robert]]" was discovered by trolls. What's notable about this is that the review was written right around the time of the incident.

{{quote|Owner is very rude and a liar. He banned my autistic friend Chris from the store a couple years ago. I tried to talk it over with the owner who's name is Michael Snyder to see if I can get him to let my friend back to be a customer there again, [[Chris and English|we wouldn't]] give me a reason behind the ban and hung up on me. But that's only the beginning. Just recently he actually had the gall to charge my friend and his WIDOWED MOTHER with some bogus "hit and run" charges. The employees however are pretty nice and try to help you, but if my money is going to the profit of this utterly contemptible owner I would much rather take my business somewhere else."'''|"Robert", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Several clues made quite a few trolls suspicious that 'Robert' was actually Chris. The mere fact that his "friend" has to point out that he's autistic from the get-go raises a red flag, and the message is pretty much full of biased contempt towards [[Michael Snyder]], and pretty much sets the tone for his anti-GAMe PLACe campaign above. Note also, that the words, "WIDOWED MOTHER" is in all caps, something Chris [[Chris and Writing|routinely does in his writing]] when [[Chris and Anger|angry]].

A second review later showed up by someone who identified themselves as "Ben McMullan." The review read:

{{quote|Owner is a registered sex offender. He has also historically denied service to autistic patrons."'''|"Ben McMullan", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=17883942249907557493&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

It is unknown if this review is by Chris or by a [[troll]], but, judging Ben McMullan's other reviews, which include businesses in Georgia, North Carolina, and Maryland (places Chris has never been), it would appear to be the latter.

Another review from "Alexander Deck" also appeared, and looks very similar to "Robert's" review:
{{quote|"This HORRIBLE place kicked my friend Chris out, and for that I can NEVER FORGIVE THEM."'''|"Alexander Deck", on the GAMe PLACe.<ref>http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/place?cid=117832957550460545229&q=google+maps+charlottesville+games+and+hobbies&hl=en</ref>}}

Another review from "Henry Bradston" is possibly by Chris:
{{Quote|This store has a wonderful and expansive selection of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards, which is what attracted me to the store in the first place. Then my cousin mentioned he was banned from the store a few years ago, and that made me realize how nasty the employees are. Upon a visit I took to the "Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys" last month, I had the pleasure of meeting who I think was the supervisor, or possibly the owner(...?) His name was Mike and he seemed like a very nice man. After only browsing booster packs for five minutes, I saw him start screaming at another patron. I don't recall what the argument was about, but it only lasted a couple minutes. The little kid (who couldn't have been older than ten) ran out of the store, crying. This incident alone coupled with the fact my cousin (who already has [[Autism|troubles]] of his own) was banned for what he says was "no good reason" has changed my perception of the store entirely. I would advise anyone who is interested in comics, TCGs, or toy collecting to NOT visit this store. And if I could say something to that fat sixty-something year old, I'd tell him to change his business tactics of scaring kids away cause it will only hurt business. ALSO, it turns out the OWNER is a registered sex offender.|"Henry Bradston"<ref>[https://plus.google.com/100281781145752145855/reviews]</ref>}}

==Barb and the GAMe PLACe==
A phone conversation recorded in early [[August 2010]] revealed many more details about the odd attitude that Bob and Barb Chandler held and continue to hold towards The GAMe PLACe. During the discussion, they evidence a total ignorance of how Chris behaved at the store and why he was banned. Barb shows signs of still holding a grudge over her visit to the store after Chris's final ban, while Bob suggests that he believed that the trolling of Chris somehow originates from a conspiracy at the store.

{{quote|Mike and Megan are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people — kids there that I think were gay — to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob Chandler, on the GAMe PLACe conspiracy.}}

Bob does not explain why Mike, Megan, and the "gay kids" (likely a reference to Eric and Tito<ref>Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A#Racism and homophobia</ref>) would create this grand conspiracy against Chris, but he goes as far as to accuse them of fraudulently obtaining access to Chris's credit cards and bank accounts. [[Best Buy|Data]] uncovered a month later shows that Chris wasted tons of money on PlayStation Network cards and games he'll never play, resulting in further debt and an excuse to blame Snyder and the trolls for stealing his credit cards.

==Chris Accepts the GAMe PLACe?==
On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It never fell through, but it could've been a ''geinus'' plan to lull Mike into a false sense of security.

==Nope, He Still Wants It Scalded==
The [[2013 Imgur Leak]] revealed [http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png a post] that would elaborate more on this development. Amusingly, Chris believed that everyone at the PLace masterminded the trolling that continues to haunt him to this day, particularly Megan and Mike, who he deemed as the "Prime Trolls". He also called for the PLace itself to be destroyed, if only for the reason of ousting a manchild that acted like a jackass in the store.

Either way, given the consequences of his actions and his utter refusal to let go of childish things, it seems very unlikely that Chris will forgive or forget the GAMe PLACe. It does, however, raise a valid question concerning Chris: What will he do once his probation ends?

Proving once and for all that Chris absolutely refuses to let go of his ban from the GAMe PLACe, on 4 October 2013, Chris posted a very angry [[Facebook]] post where he shifts all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual [[JERKS|jerk]]", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan [[Chris and hypocrisy|until ''she'' apologizes for what she's done]].

==The Saga Ends==
[[File:Retail Space For Rent.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Poster indicating the former location of the GAMe PLACe is now up for rent.]]
[[File:GamePlace2015A.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The interior of the vacant store in April 2015.]]

In June 2014, information was leaked on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that seemed to indicate that the GAMe PLACe had shut down for good. The historical location of the store was empty, and a poster on the store's glass front indicated that the location was up for rent. Whether the place was apparently shut down because of financial problems, Chris's curses, or other factors remains unknown, but even after the shut down of the store, Chris continues to hold a grudge against Mike. It is also unknown if the business simply moved away and changed its name to avoid being detected by Chris and [[weens]] alike.

In November 2015, a local fine chocolate business moved to the former GAMe PLACe site. Chris mentioned the new store on the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], saying that he does not feel it is as good as the PLACe and is not interested in entering, assuming the new tenant allows him back in.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[GameStop]]

{{Places}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Game Place}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

1990s

2017-09-13T19:13:06Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211315 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0406-ChristianIs17-4.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in the nineties.]]
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0505-ChristianWLlamma.jpg|thumb|right|WTF [[niggo]].]]

The '''1990s''' saw the beginning of [[Chris]]'s obsession with [[Sonic]] and [[Pokémon]], which would one day lead to the abomination we know as [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. He also started [[mass debating]] and using the [[Internet]] this decade.

==1990==
'''1990''' would be our problematic [[autistic]]'s last year at [[Greene County Primary School]]. It is unknown why he left, and whether he was expelled. Also, Chris met his [[gal-pal]] [[Tiffany Robinson]].

[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris meets [[Sonic]].]]
[[Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1991'''.]]
[[Image:0067-Christian%26Barbie.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and Barbie. That little Sonic plushie would be featured again, decades later, in [[Kimmi|Christian's sex vid]].]]
[[File:Cwc stamp album2.jpeg|thumb|Chris's stamp album, '''1992'''.]]
[[Image:0224-ChristianOnABus.jpg|thumb|right|Chris wants to see the schoolbus.]]
[[Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1995'''.]]
[[Image:0105-MomRetire13.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1996'''.]]
[[Image:0128-Christmas96-6.jpg|thumb|right|Christmas '''1997'''. Spoiled fuck.]]
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1997'''. He had to water the niggos.]]
[[File:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's '''1998''' gift to [[Cole Smithey]].]]

===Events of 1990===
* 1990 - [[Bob Chandler]] performs and DJs the [[WTJU Marathon]].
* 24 February - Christopher's 8th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters 3rd grade at Greene County Primary School.
* 4 September - [[Bob]]'s 63rd birthday
* 1 October - [[Barb]]'s 49th birthday.

==1991==
'''1991''' would be a troublesome year for Christopher. He switched schools to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], but had a conflict with the principal. Certain teachers also supposedly abused Chris, and the school's administration wanted Chris put in intensive special education or an "institution". In this year Chris's friend Tiffany Robinson would end her friendship with Chris.

===Events of 1991===
* 24 February - Christopher's 9th birthday.
* April - A picture of Chris is taken on some monkey bars.
* 23 June - the first ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' game is released.
* 1991 - Christopher is first introduced to Sonic the Hedgehog.<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>
* August/September - Chris enters 4th grade at Nathanael Greene. He soon develops a dislike towards the allegedly [[homos]]exual principal of the school.
* September - A picture of Chris is taken at a local playground.
* 4 September - [[Bob]]'s 64th birthday.
* 1 October - [[Barb]]'s 50th birthday.
* 1991 - Chris is supposedly "abused" by the teachers at Nathanael Greene.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* 1991 - Bob takes the "abusive" teachers to court, but fails.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* 1991 - Chris is removed from school and homeschooled.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>

==1992==
In '''1992''', Chris was removed from Nathanael Greene and, to prevent Chris from being put in an institution or intensive special education, was
homeschooled for a year.

===Events of 1992===
* 24 February - Christopher's 10th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters 5th grade at home.
*1 July - Chris begins his [[:File:Cwc stamp album2.jpeg|stamp collection]]
* 4 September - [[Bob]]'s 65th birthday.
* 1 October - [[Barb]]'s 51st birthday.
* December - An encounter with [[Leonard Bearstein|The Bear]] inspires Christopher to change his name to Christian.

==1993==
In '''1993''', Chris moved to Richmond and started attending [[Providence Middle School]]. He became more and more obsessed with Sonic the Hedgehog, even entering a Sonic contest.

===Events of 1993===
* 1993 - Chris's [[Son-Chu|noble steed]] is manufactured.
* 24 February - Christopher's 11th birthday.
* September - Chris starts attending Providence, entering the 6th grade.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* September -The Chandler family moves to [[Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments]] in Chesterfield County, Virginia, because they are afraid Chris will be "locked up in an institution." They keep their home in [[Ruckersville]].<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 7. Also based upon statements done by Chris in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]].</ref>
* 4 September - [[Bob]] turns 66.
* Autumn - Chris enters the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].<ref>As stated in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] video.</ref>
* Autumn - Chris meets [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
* 1 October - [[Barb]] turns 52.
* 19 November - Amy Rose and Metal Sonic's first American appearance, in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|Sonic CD]]''. Little did they know the horror of the future [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] and [[Metal Sonichu]].
* 20 November - Chris attends the grand opening of Service Merchandise Co. in Midlothian, VA. He gets Spider-Man's autograph and meets Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Barbie, Santa Claus and a dog.
* 29 December - [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|An article]] in the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' discusses Chris, his name change, and the Sonic contest.<ref>[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT&type=current&date=Dec+29,+1993&author=Barbara+Green&pub=Richmond+Times+-+Dispatch&desc=IT+TOOK+A+TALKING+BEAR+TO+GIVE+THE+NAME+A+YOUNG+BOY+LOVES&pqatl=google It took a talking bear to give a young boy loves], Barbara Green - Richmond Times</ref>

==1994==
In '''1994''', Chris pestered his parents into letting him change his name. He also won the Sonic contest.

===Events of 1994===
* Winter - Christopher [[Christopher's name change|changes his name]] to Christian.
* 24 February - Christian's 12th birthday.
* 26 February - Christian wins the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes.<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* 2 March - Butthurt that they lost their original case, the Chandlers file their appeal with the Virginia Court of Appeals. They are represented by James B. Dick.
* 9 May - The record of the case of Bob Chandler vs. Greene County School Board is received by the Virginia Court of Appeals.<ref>From [http://208.210.219.132/stars/select.jsp Court of Appeals of Virginia Case Information]</ref>
* 28 June - The Virginia Court of Appeals writes a written decision that dismisses the case of of Bob Chandler vs. Greene County School Board.
* 9 July - [[Cole]] sends [[Barbara]] a [[:File:ColePostcardA.jpg|postcard]] from San Francisco about his band.
* 16 July - [[Cole]] performs at Troubadour with special guest Brian Vouglas.
* August/September - Christian enters the seventh grade at Providence Middle School.
* 4 September - [[Bob]] turns 67.
* 1 October - [[Barb]] turns 53.

==1995==
In '''1995''', Chris entered eighth grade at Providence Middle School.

===Events of 1995===
* 1995 - Birth of [[Savannah Chandler]].
* 24 February - Christian's 13th birthday.
* March - first appearance of [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_video_game_characters#Chaotix|Chaotix]] in [[Sonic|''Knuckles' Chaotix'']]. If they had known about the horror of the [[Chaotic Combo]], they wouldn't have bothered.
* 26 April - Tedrall, a friend of Cole's, posts on a listserv inquiring about Jack Dale Smithey, as Cole still believes that he, rather than his true and honest biological father Ran Coleman Yeatts, is his biological father.
* August/September - Christian enters the eighth grade at Providence Middle School.
* Summer - The Chandler family moves out of Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments and into the [[Surrywood Subdivision]].<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* 4 September - [[Bob]] turns 68.
* 1 October - [[Barb]] turns 54.
* 25 December - Chris receives a two-faced sports fan, a Power Rangers Shogun Megazord and a new bicycle for Christmas.

==1996==
'''1996''' was a rather [[stress]]ful year for Chris's parents. The neighbors around their new house in [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]] started spreading rumors about the Chandler family. This was rather hard for Bob and Barbara to bear. Christian himself didn't seem to mind the trouble too much, and started attending [[Manchester High School]].

===Events of 1996===
* 23 February - Barb and Bob arrive in Chris's special ed class for a birthday celebration.
* 24 February - Christian's 14th birthday. He receives a Spyrius Robo-Guardian Lego set.
* 27 February - [[Pokémon|''Pokémon Red'' and ''Green'']] are released in Japan: the first appearance of [[Pikachu]].
* Early Spring - Barbara retires from Secretarial Services at [[Virginia (state)|Virginia]] Power.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref> Chris attends her retirement party.
* Late Spring - Christian graduates from Providence on honor roll.<ref>Based upon statements by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* June/July - The Chandler family moves out of the [[Surrywood Subdivision]], and starts living in the [[Newberry Towne Subdivision]]. According to Chris, some of the neighbors spread rumors about his family.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>
* 1 September - Christian begins his freshman year at Manchester High School.<ref>Based upon statements done by Christian in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]] video.</ref>
* 4 September - [[Bob]] turns 69.
* 11 September - [[Ryan Cash]] is born.
* Autumn - Chris becomes a water boy for the varsity [[basketball]] team.
* 1 October - [[Barb]] turns 55.
* 2 November - Barb is given a ticket for "Curse and Abuse".
* 13 November - During basketball practice, Chris thinks up [[Bionic the Hedgehog]].

==1997==
In '''1997''', Chris is still studying happily at Manchester High School. He now also manages the school basketball team.

===Events of 1997===
* 1997 - Chris is rejected by [[Laura Dorazio]].
* 1997 - Cole Smithey begins reviewing films.
* 28 January - Barb is given a ticket for going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone.
* 14 February - Valentine's Day. At a dating match-up at school, Chris is paired up with cheerleader [[Molly Quarles]].
* 24 February - Christian's 15th birthday.
* 1 April - First episode of ''[[Pokémon]]'' anime broadcast in Japan; [[Pikachu]] becomes a cultural icon there.
* June - Christian allegedly had a prophetic [[dream]] about Sonic the Hedgehog appearing on [[Game Boy]].<ref>Claimed by Chris in his PowerPoint: [http://www.mediafire.com/?xe03yxe1zyp]</ref>
* 26 July - An mini-article is published in the Richmond Times Dispatch about how Bob corrected various news outlets about Old Ironsides and when the ship had last sailed under its own power.
* 5 August - Another Richmond Times-Dispatch article discusses Bob's correcting various news outlets about Old Ironsides and when the ship had last sailed under its own power.
* August/September - Christian begins his sophomore year at Manchester High School.
* 4 September - [[Bob]]'s 70th birthday.
* 17 September - Death of [[Red Skelton]].
* 1 October - [[Barbara]]'s 56th birthday. Chris and Bob are photographed laughing like idiots.
* 10 November - Barb is given a ticket for having an expired license plate.
* 25 December - Chris receives a Cortland video camera, a Lego playset, a [[Peanuts|Snoopy doll]], a ''Cartooning with Charles Schulz'' kit, [[Wikipedia:Wave Race 64|''Wave Race 64'']], [[Wikipedia:Mischief Makers|''Mischief Makers'']] and an extra Nintendo 64 controller for [[Christmas]]. He also gives Bob a [[Wikipedia:Yoshi|Yoshi]] plushie.

==1998==
In '''1998''', Chris received an F in English class. This would hurt him severely, forcing him to create the "[[Song of Christian]]" in retribution.

===Events of 1998===
* 1998 - Chris unlocks the parental lock on his television and finds a porno movie. His raging hormones result in him discovering masturbation for the very first time.<ref>[[Mass debating]]</ref>
* 1 January - Chris gives Cole a Lego sculpture of a rock band as a New Year's present.
* 2 February - Chris begins to wear the [[Pedo-Glasses]].
* 24 February - Christian's 16th birthday.
* 14 May - Chrs writes the [[Song of Christian]].
* 15 May - Chris records himself reading [[Song of Christian]] and explaining it line by line for his English class.<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* 4 June - Christian makes his [[Chris's DVD#Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera|Lego Raceway Animation]].<ref>[[:Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|Date on DVD cover.]]</ref>
* August/September - Christian begins his junior year at Manchester High School.
* 4 September - Chris records a [[KCWC]] "[[KCWC broadcast|broadcast]]" on tape. Barbara "calls in" saying that she wants to request a song for Bob's 71st birthday, humoring him like he's six years old, when in reality, he was sixteen.
* 4 September - [[Bob]] turns 71.
* 8 September - The ''[[Pokémon]]'' [[anime]] is released in the United States. Chris becomes an avid fan.
* 8 September - Chris's chemistry class participates in a bingo game where students have to learn about each other in order to win.
* 17 September - Chris creates a map in his U.S. Government class about America's role in the Korean War.
* 30 September - ''Pokémon Red'' and ''Blue'' are released in America. Things would never be the same in the Chandler household.
* 1 October - [[Barb]] turns 57.
* 13 October - Chris draws a diagram of Dealey Plaza and the Kennedy assassination for his U.S. Government class.
* 15 October - Chris takes notes about the Women's Movement for his U.S. Government class. Also, Chris takes more notes about JFK's assassination.
* 19 October - Chris creates a map concerning America's role in the War in Southeast Asia.
* 29 October - Chris completes a worksheet about how to be safe within the home, and takes notes on the subject.
* 10 November - Chris completes an assignment for Spanish class about jobs.
* 17 November - Barbara is pulled over and given a ticket for disregarding a red light.
* 22 November - Chris completes a Review Sheet about Reagan and the Evil Empire. He receives a perfect score.
* December - The [[Pokemon]] [[Card Games|TCG]] is first introduced in North America.
* 4 December - Chris writes his rough draft of his Canterbury Tales essay.
* 7 December - Chris writes about his bedroom in Spanish and draws a picture of it. The depiction of his room is littered with video games.
* 10 December - Chris writes a final draft for his Canterbury Tales essay. He receives a 69, or a D+.
* 11 December - Chris writes the FCAs for his Canterbury Tales essay.
* 21 December - Chris completes a questionnaire concerning where he is on the political spectrum for his U.S. Government class. Chris concludes that he is a liberal.

==1999==
In '''1999''', the [[Pokémon]] franchise broke big in America. During this time, Chris started making Pokémon-themed websites, and even got into the [[Chris's DVD#Chris Chan in the Pok'eNews|PokéNews]]. According to [[Lucas]], Chris started showing up at [[The GAMe PLACe]] around this time.<ref>Based on an estimate by [[Lucas]] in [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris.27s_ban_from_the_store|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]].</ref> Chris also created many of his "original" Pokémon cards this year for his [[Wall of Originals]]. They are listed below, as well as the other milestones of this year.

===Events of 1999===
{{Main|1999}}

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Three-Quarter Woman

2017-09-13T19:12:49Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211313 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

[[File:Chris Chan CD discovery.png|300px|thumb|right|Cover]]

'''''Three-Quarter Woman''''' is a homemade [[Christian's Favorite Hits|CD]] "made with love and care" by [[Chris]], created specially in September 2014 for [[Catherine]]. The CD was somehow obtained by a third party, whose friend published the discovery on [[Kiwi Farms]]<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/cd-for-new-sweetheart.4968/</ref>.

Most of the songs on the album range from pop/country songs, to unreleased songs likely sought from illegal sources (Seriously, where ''did'' Chris get "Number 29"?!), to obvious favorites sung and/or played by Chris in the past.

Note that Chris has included a song by Tara Strong on the album, [[Chris and hypocrisy|even though]] he at one point [[February_2013_Facebook_posts#Open_Letter_to_Tara_Strong|said that Strong contributed to cyberbullying with her "Twilightlicious" video]], and was publicly insulted by her as a result.

In a [[I Love You, Catherine|video]] uploaded on 4 [[October 2014]], Chris asked the person who obtained the CD to mail it back to him. Whether or not they complied is unknown, but highly unlikely.

The strange title of the album [[Chris and his Ego|probably refers to Chris himself]] in the wake of [[Tomgirl Saga|his identification as a male lesbian]].

==Tracklisting==
*1. [[Britney Spears]] - "[[29 December 2014|Number 29]]"
*2. Britney Spears - "[[wikipedia:Britney & Kevin: Chaotic (EP)|Chaotic]]"
*3. [[wikipedia:Puffy AmiYumi|Puffy AmiYumi]] - "[[wikipedia:Spilt Milk (Jellyfish album)|Joining a Fan Club]]" ([[wikipedia:Jellyfish (band)|Jellyfish]] cover)
*4. Britney Spears - "[[wikipedia:Britney (album)|Let Me Be]]"
*5. [[If You Were a Woman and I Was a Man|Bonnie Tyler]] - "[[Holding Out for a Hero]]"
*6. [[wikipedia:Charlie Rich|Charlie Rich]] - "[[wikipedia:The Most Beautiful Girl|The Most Beautiful Girl]]"
*7. [[wikipedia:B.J. Thomas|B.J. Thomas]] - "[[wikipedia:Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head|Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head]]"
*8. Britney Spears - "[[wikipedia:...Baby One More Time (album)|E-mail My Heart]]"
*9. [[wikipedia:Melanie Safka|Melanie]] - "Jump Start My Heart"
*10. [[wikipedia:Boston (band)|Boston]] - "[[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than a Feeling]]"
*11. Puffy AmiYumi - "[[Love]] [[wikipedia:Spike (Puffy AmiYumi album)|So Pure]]"
*12. [[wikipedia:Mariah Carey|Mariah Carey]] - "[[wikipedia:Vision of Love|Vision of Love]]"
*13. Pastiche - "[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|Sonic Boom]]"
*14. [[wikipedia:Katy Perry|Katy Perry]] - "[[Teenage Dream]]"
*15. [[wikipedia:Kelly Clarkson|Kelly Clarkson]] - "[[wikipedia:Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)|Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)]]"
*16. [[wikipedia:A-Teens|A*Teens]] - "[[wikipedia:Upside Down (A-Teens song)|Upside Down]]" (known in America as "[[12 October 2009|Bouncing Off the Ceiling]] (Upside Down)")
*17. [[wikipedia:The J. Geils Band|The J. Geils Band]] - "[[August 2014 Facebook Posts|Centerfold]]"
*18. [[My Little Pony|Tara Strong]] - "Take My Hand"
*19. [[wikipedia:Debbie Reynolds|Debbie Reynolds]] - "[[wikipedia:Aba Daba Honeymoon|Aba Daba Honeymoon]]"
*20. [[wikipedia:Indigo Girls|Indigo Girls]] - "[[wikipedia:Indigo Girls (album)|Closer to Fine]]"
*21. [[Sailor Moon|Fujitani Minako]] - "Watashitachi Ni Naritakute"

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Catherine Saga]]

Manajerks

2017-09-13T19:12:25Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211314 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:B-manajerk_real.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions.]]

'''Manajerks''' (a [[Wikipedia:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of "manager" and "[[JERKS|jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly need to neutralize.

After his adventures on [[26 December 2014]], Chris began using the [[CWCism|term]] '''ass manager''' to refer to [[Yellow-Shirted Foe|his victim]], the [[GameStop]] assistant manager who he had peppersprayed and who ultimately took him to court.

==Origins==
Chris coined the term in [[CWC's Diary]] to describe the two Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] managers who confronted him on 22 June 2005. He has since used it in reference to other perceived enemies, including the managers of his local [[Target]], the management of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Michael Snyder]], and another Wal-Mart manager who ejected him from the chain's Ruckersville location in the summer of 2013.

==Manajerks in real life==
Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Chris|patron]] who loiters in [[Get-Tar Region|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be [[Chris and health#Hygiene|unwilling to shower]] and had numbers of pairs of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Chris and sex|intimate relations]] with young [[Chris and race|white]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autism|crude and bizarre]]. Even worse, if such a patron were to [[Mal-Wart|vandalize store property]] or engage in similar property destruction, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], even to the point of, say, [[GameStop Assault|assaulting said manager with pepper spray]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkop|proper authorities]] to have him escorted ([[Kick the Autistic|forcibly, if need be]]) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkop|jerkops]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]),<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Chris-hating team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.

Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_25</ref> the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonald's]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.

Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly referred to as the Get-Tar Region and Wal-Mart is the Mal-Wart Region and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like war lords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.

===B-Manajerk===
[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story.]]

B-Manajerk was a manajerk first featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. To date, he is one of the only villains that Chris has ever been able to defeat single-handedly, as almost every other one-on-one fight Chris has ever had in the comics inevitably ended with him getting beaten half to death [[Chris and writing|until he was saved by another character]]. Not much is known about the B-Manajerk, not even his real name. What little we do know comes from Chris's own records of their encounters, as described below. If Chris's accounts are anything to go by, The B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart Chris got kicked out of, or else a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic". One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with [[Pixelblocks]]. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

<small>{{quote|June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Niggos|Bla]][[Chris and race|ck]], [[Obesity|Fat]] Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love Quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Extract from [[CWC's Diary]]}}</small>
[[File:B Manajerk.jpg|thumb|right|Based on a truer story.]]
The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "[[Mal-Wart]] Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the [[Jerkhief]], as Chris describes in his journal entry. He is also armed with a golden axe and a pair of large guns. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "[[Anime Wings|anime wings]]" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the Wing Hat power-up from ''Super Mario 64''. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his [[Love Quest]] and the absolute necessity of his [[Attraction Sign]].

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the [[Time Void]].

Contrary to popular belief, this was actually not the last anyone saw or heard of B-Manajerk and his partner however, like it was for so many others before them. Though he was never actually ''seen'' again, the B-Manajerk was mentioned during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']]. Towards the end of the issue, whilst [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] return from the battle against [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]], they receive a psychic message from [[Magi-Chan]] informing them of the state of the battle. In the same textwall in which he announces the death of [[Ivy]] and the destruction of the [[Decepti-Clones]], he briefly mentions that B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic had somehow grown to a gigantic size and took part in the battle with the rest of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. The battle is never actually shown, but Magi-Chan assures Sonichu and the readers that they were defeated by the Kart Megazord owned by the CWC-[[Power Rangers]] and that the two of them were shrunk back to their original size. The Kart Megazord itself is briefly glimpsed in the background.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_93</ref>

This would be the last time the manajerks were ever seen or heard from in the comics. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris would use his [[Colossal Chan]] form to completely destroy PVCC and undo the brainwashing effect used to control all it's members. According to [[Mailbag 52]], this freed all the manajerks too. Chris later stated that the manajerks were cleared by the [[CWCville]] courts for their crimes, due to the fact that they couldn't help their actions at the time, but that they were depowered before being set free.{{cite}}

[[Chris and race|And yes, the "B" in "B-Manajerk" does stand for "black"]].<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref>

===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby===
[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|You're missing both your arms, you work in a [[McDonald's]], and you have the most embarrassing and incomprehensible name in the world. Obviously the answer is to go into supervillainy.]]

Merried Seinor Comic is quite possibly the most unfortunately named villain in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. The name of his real life counterpart, Kirby McDerbie, offers no insight into this strangeness. [[Trolls]] on [[/cwc/]] have been speculating for as long as the character has been around, but no-one has ever been able to determine for sure what his name actually means, though some have guessed that Chris may have meant to say "Married Senior Comic".

The Merried Seinor Comic appeared for the first time in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']], helping the [[B-Manajerk]] in his opposition of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the McDuo of the City of [[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]] of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]]. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg]]</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Merried Seinor Comic was defeated in a sword fight by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], whilst Chris defeated his partner. In [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], which continues the two part story, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] arrives as back-up, but when he fails as well the McDuo flee the scene, with the Comic not seeming to even care about the recent loss of both his arms.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], the character appears at [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention, where he is even more inexplicably described as Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. This is the last time the character is seen, but as mentioned above, he did participate in the Battle of CWCville offscreen, becoming a giant along with the B-Manajerk and fighting the Kart Megazord. It is presumed that he was depowered and set free like the other manajerks after [[Collosal Chan]] reversed [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s brainwashing.

===W-M-Manajerk===
[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|Truly a [[Kick the Autistic|shining example]] to us all. But for W-M-Manajerk, it's an average day.]]

After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonalds, as was described above, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonalds, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|weeaboo magic spells]] at him. Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could; by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his [[Chris and reality|fantasy life]].
[[File:W-M-Manajerk fan art.jpg|thumb|right|[[Metal Gear Solid|Don't fuck with this manajerk.]]]]
In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his [[ED]] page in [[March 2008]], he says he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from Sub-Episode 5 of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-Chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be physically disabled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

The W-M-Manajerk character first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In the comic, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]] at the end of Sub-Episode 4. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on [[Wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]] in the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "A Head in the Polls". This episode featured Nixon as a similarly built robot with a head in a jar. The concept of a head in a jar is hardly unique to ''Futurama'', but it is a show beloved by Chris and virtually nothing he draws hasn't been at least loosely based off an already existing character.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would. Just as Chris begins to lose hope though, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to Crystal, whom he had previously drawn on one of his home-made [[Yu-gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] respectively, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, were agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] lead by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the head-jar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC.

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is actually pretty damn strong. It survives several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a soda fountain. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head. It can be assumed that the head-jar also acted as a kind of life support system.

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.

===ScotPalazzo===
[[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]

The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, and possibly the first manajerk Chris encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy of Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly designed to resemble [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo]] from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and he is depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love itself for his mother's murder-suicide.

Whether or not the real Scot Palazzo suffered such a traumatic life as his comic counterpart, the fictional Scot remained one of the only villains in the series to give any kind of reason for his actions. [[Wes Iseli]] was motivated by jealousy, Mary gave reasons for her own war on love in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s motivation was existentialism, and then there was Scot. Despite being one of the few villains to actually have motivation to do all the crazy super-villain shit the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] gets up to however, he never actually ''does'' anything. In his debut appearance, he hires more [[jerkop|Jerkops]] to take down Chris, but he never gets any kind of [[semen|comeuppance]] for this and he never fights any of the heroes. He cameos again in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] at the council of villains, and his character description says that he banned all [[virgin with rage|virgins]] from his region, but this is all he has ever been seen to do. In many ways, he is more like an actual manager than any of the other manajerks on this page.

His given motivation conflicts with later revelations that all PVCC members, including the manajerks, were really just brainwashed slaves of Mary Lee Walsh. [[Collosal Chan|Colossal Chan]]'s power supposedly undid all brainwashing, and Chris's statements on the subject claimed that all the manajerks were cleared of everything. Presumably this can be taken to mean that Scot was also a victim, and that his jaded personality was reverted to whatever he was like prior to Mary's effect.

===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman===
[[File:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|Behold, the two most harmless villains in the series.]]

The last of the manajerks to be introduced, the duo of Turdijerk and his accomplice Trebor Capman first appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], where they confronted Chris in the Get-Tar Region. The episode was based on an incident that occurred in real life at a newly opened [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store in Chris's area. Attempting to start fresh in new [[Attraction Location|prowling grounds]], Chris planned to pay a single dollar to receive a soda at their snack bar and exploit their free refill policy to keep refilling that same soda over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned officer [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until their later cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. In their initial appearance, the two manajerks walk up to Chris at his table and tell him that he was loitering and had to get out. Even in his idealized fantasy world where Chris whitewashes everything he does, the comic version of Chris is indeed loitering, and he also initially ignores the two managers trying to talk to him. Upon noticing them, he screams, and then somehow summons a tornado to blow them both away. It should be noted at this point that these two manajerks did not actually attack Chris, or even threaten him, meaning Chris just [[Chris and the Law|assaulted two unarmed normal humans for telling him to leave their store]].

The names of the characters are puzzling. [[Trolls]] speculate that Trebor Capman might actually be an alias for someone called ''Robert'' Capman, given Chris's love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]], and while the origin of Turdijerk's name is somewhat more ambiguous, the two most common theories are that the name was either derived from a stereotype of the Indian accent, (as the character has a vaguely South Asian appearance and his real life counterpart is probably the same), or that the name "Turdijerk" is merely Chris's [[Random-access humor|juvenile sense of humor]] and a way to insult the real life manager by giving him a nickname that sounds like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|"turd"]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Merried Seinor Comic detailed fanart.png|Dramatic Rendition.
Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|[[Soul Calibur|Video game recreation]].
Image:Manajerks.jpg|Getting decapitated merely pissed him off.
Image:MSCsavestheday.png|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|procreating]].
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Amanda]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

2008-2013 Sales Listings

2017-09-13T19:12:06Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211312 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Needs Updating}}
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|[[Regina|Somebody]] gave him 30 dollars for this. No, we don't understand either.]]

[[Chris]] has a long, if not terribly successful, career '''selling things on [[eBay]]'''. This list attempts to catalog as many of his sales as possible, based on data hacked out of his e-mail accounts by [[Clyde Cash]] and others.

Most of what Chris sold is the sort of thing you would expect him to sell: old toys, old games, old electronics, [[Transformers]] crap and so forth. He also auctioned off a few antiques and knick-knacks, suggesting that his parents had him hock some of the junk cluttering up their house. (Alternatively, Chris might have nicked a couple of items off the top of his folks' enormous piles of garbage and tried to make money off them on his own.)

Chris employs a dogged selling strategy, relisting his items over and over and over, sometimes for as long as several months, regardless of whether they show any signs of selling at the listed price. While some of his items eventually sold this way for fairly decent money, others never did (like the George Bush bobblehead he tried and failed to sell for almost five months) and Chris racked up an impressive tab for listing fees in the process.

It seems as if Chris's items began to sell with greater frequency towards the end of 2008, but it's entirely possible that this is evidence of [[trolls]] at work sabotaging his auctions.

Unsurprisingly, Chris is known to exaggerate the quality of his auctions (or to leave out important information unless prompted). A number of Chris's video game and "track pack" auctions were sold in eBay auctions... and Chris conveniently forgot to mention that the codes accompanying each disc were used and therefore useless (rendering the game far less valuable). More of Chris's classic "cleverness" at work.

Interestingly, Chris listed four [[HEXBox|Xbox]] games for sale on eBay, suggesting that his hatred for da HEX-Box came later.

On June 1st of 2014, Chris advertised on [[Facebook]] that he was auctioning off an [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|original piece]] of artwork for the first time ever. He was cautious however, and edited the upload of the art on the eBay page, explaining that it was to prevent forgery.

Chris managed to raise [[Chris and money|over $1,100]] via his eBay sales.

==Chris's eBay sales==
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Item
!align="left"|Date Listed
!align="right"|Weeks Listed
!align="right"|Sold?
|-
|1:24 scale RARE [[Wikipedia:Ford_Mustang_(first_generation)#1964.E2.80.931966|'66 Mustang]] SHELBYGT350 BLKGOLD MUS.MAC.
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Chevrolet_Camaro_(first_generation)#1968|1968 Chevrolet Camaro]] SS 1/24 PRO RODZ MAISTO RODZ4LIFE
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:21 (film)|''21'']] ([[2008]], Blu-ray Disc)
|26 December 2008
|2
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:88 Minutes|''88 Minutes'']] ([[2008]], Blu-ray Disc)
|26 December 2008
|2
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]] Live: ''[[Rock Band]]'' track pack ([[PlayStation 3]])
|3 December 2008
|2
|$39.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]] - No Bull'': Director's Cut DVD
|3 December 2008
|3
|$14.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Wikipedia:Gateway to the Savage Frontier|''Gateway to the Savage Frontier'']]
|2 August 2008
|3
|$39.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Wikipedia:Secret of the Silver Blades|''Secret of the Silver Blades'']]
|2 August 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Wikipedia:Champions of Krynn|''Champions of Krynn'']]
|2 August 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Wikipedia:Curse of the Azure Bonds|''Curse of the Azure Bonds'']]
|2 August 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Wikipedia:Death Knights of Krynn|''Death Knights of Krynn'']]
|2 August 2008
|4
|No
|-
|Blue B/W [[Wikipedia:VideoNow|VideoNow]] Player with [[Wikipedia:The Fairly OddParents|''The Fairly OddParents'']] [[Wikipedia:PVD Disc|PVD]]
|28 May 2008
|13
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']] ([[Xbox]])
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Cinderella (1994 film)|Cinderella]]'' ([[1995]], VHS)
|15 July 2008
|6
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]'' ([[Xbox]])
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[A Public Announcement for Congress|Commander-in-Chief]] [[George Bush]] [[Wikipedia:Bobblehead|Bobblehead]]
|23 April 2008
|19
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Commodore 64|Commodore 64]], new in box
|23 April 2008
|1
|$39.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Diddy Kong Racing|''Diddy Kong Racing'']] ([[Nintendo 64]])
|2 August 2008
|8
|$9.99
|-
|Disney [[Wikipedia:Brother Bear|''Brother Bear'']] Koda 7" [[Toys|plush]]
|14 April 2008
|5
|$9.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']] ([[Xbox]])
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Best Buy|Dynex]] glossy 4"x6" photo paper
|5 May 2008
|14
|No
|-
|[[Best Buy|Dynex]] [[Chris and camerawork|Mini Tripod]]
|5 May 2008
|1
|No
|-
|Fully functional [[Wikipedia:Cybiko#Cybiko_Xtreme|Cybiko Xtreme]] PDA
|14 June 2008
|3
|$14.99
|-
|Fully functional [[Wikipedia:Cybiko#Cybiko_Xtreme|Cybiko Xtreme]] PDA
|8 July 2008
|8
|No
|-
|[[Obesity|Garfield]] "Boat Joke" Glass Mug [[McDonald's]]
|15 July 2008
|6
|No
|-
|Genuine Diamond Quartz [[Barb|Lady]]'s Black Leather Wrist Watch
|25 April 2008
|11
|$24.99
|-
|[[Toys|G.I. Joe]] [[George W. Bush|Colin Powell]] [[1998]] Classic Collection MIB
|23 April 2008
|11
|$39.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Grand Theft Auto III|''Grand Theft Auto III''']] ([[PlayStation 2]])
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|Grass Gator EXTRA Heavy Duty Replacement Head No.4650
|28 May 2008
|1
|$14.99
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]]'' (game only) ([[PlayStation 2]])
|8 August 2008
|3
|No
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]]'' collectible harmonica, mint in box
|12 July 2008
|8
|$9.99
|-
|''[[Harry Potter]] and the Sorcerer's Stone'' ([[PlayStation]])
|2 April 2008
|3
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Hayes Microcomputer Products|Hayes]] 1200B Smartmodem 1200B Modem
|23 June 2008
|16
|$59.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Hot Wheels|Hot Wheels]] Tunerz 1:24 FORD SVT Lightning Concept
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Jada Toys|Jada]] 1/24 import racer [[Wikipedia:Nissan 240SX|Nissan 240SX]] Candy red
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Jada Toys|Jada]] Dub City [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Cadillac_Escalade#Escalade_EXT|Cadillac Escalade EXT]]
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Lair (video game)Lair]]'' (PlayStation 3)
|12 January 2009
|2
|No
|-
|Leapfrog Leapster Pink without AC
|2 August 2008
|2
|$29.99
|-
|Maisto G Ridez 1:24 [[Wikipedia:Volkswagen Beetle|Volkswagen Beetle]] die-cast car
|28 July 2008
|5
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Marvel Super Hero Squad|Marvel Super Hero Squad]]'' [[Wikipedia:Galactus|Galactus]] (loose)
|14 April 2008
|19
|No
|-
|[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Meatwad's Shredwad]] ''[[Rock Band]]'' [[Guitar]] for [[PS3]]
|15 September 2009
|1
|$29.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Men in Black (film)|''Men In Black'']] (2008, Blu-ray Disc)
|26 December 2008
|2
|No
|-
|MiJam Flower MP3 Ornament Accessory
|28 May 2008
|12
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero|''Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero'']] ([[Nintendo 64]])
|15 July 2008
|6
|$9.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]'' ([[Xbox]])
|28 July 2008
|4
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Oops!... I Did It Again|Oops!... I Did It Again]]'' - [[Britney Spears]] (CD [[2000]])
| 30 April 2008
|12
|$9.99
|-
|Perfectly working [[PSOne]] with ''[[Harry Potter]]'' game
|25 April 2008
|10
|$24.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Philips|Philips]] [[PSP]]-1000 Micro FM Transmitter
|13 May 2008
|5
|$14.99
|-
|[[PlayStation One]] [[Wikipedia:DualShock|DualShock]] Analog Controler
|18 July 2008
|2
|$14.99
|-
|[[PlayStation One]] [[Wikipedia:DualShock|DualShock]] Analog Controler'''
|2 August 2008
|1
|$14.99
|-
|[[PlayStation One]] [[Wikipedia:DualShock|DualShock]] Analog Controler
|7 August 2008
|1
|$14.99
|-
|Playtronix Chip the Talking Golf Bag Batteries Included
|2 August 2008
|3
|$19.99
|-
|Plush Winter [[Wikipedia:Eeyore|Eeyore]] Disney Store doll
|14 April 2008
|11
|$9.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Pokémon Snap|Pokémon Snap]] ([[Nintendo 64]])
|2 August 2008
|9
|$9.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Pokémon Stadium|Pokémon Stadium]] ([[Nintendo 64]])
|2 August 2008
|8
|$9.99
|-
|[[High school|Prom Night]] (2008, Blu-ray Disc)
|26 December 2008
|2
|No
|-
|[[Transformers|Prowl Vs. Lockdown]] Combo Pack
|7 April 2009
|1
|No
|-
|[[PS3]] ''[[Guitar Hero]] 3'' [[Wikipedia:Gibson Guitar Corporation|Gibson]] [[Guitar]]
|15 September 2009
|1
|$61.00
|-
|[[PSOne]] AC adaptor
|15 July 2008
|7
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:National Geographic Wild|''Relentless Enemies'']] ([[2007]], Blu-ray Disc)
|7 June 2008
|7
|$19.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Seagate Technology|Seagate]] ST96812AS-RK 60 GB SATA hard drive
|4 November 2008
|7
|$39.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'' [[Punchy|Knuckles]] 9" action figure
|14 April 2008
|7
|$9.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'' [[Homos|Tails]] 9" figure
|14 April 2008
|14
|$9.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Sony|Sony]] HDTV remote RM-AAP021
|16 December 2008
|1
|$24.99
|-
|[[Sony PlayStation]] - Game console - light gray
|4 November 2008
|1
|No
|-
|[[Sony PlayStation]] bundle with [[Wikipedia:Gran Turismo 2|''Gran Turismo 2'']] and [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero|''Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero'']]
|18 July 2008
|6
|No
|-
|[[Sony PlayStation]] bundle with [[Wikipedia:Gran Turismo 2|''Gran Turismo 2'']], [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero|''Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero'']] and ''WWF''
|11 November 2008
|5
|$45.99
|-
|[[Sony PlayStation]] with ''[[Wikipedia:Frogger 3D|Frogger 3D]]''
|19 July 2008
|3
|No
|-
|[[Sony PlayStation]] with ''Mobil1 Rally'' and ''Champ Motocross''
|10 August 2008
|4
|$45.99
|-
|[[PSP of Fail|Sony PSP]] - Handheld game system - piano black
|3 May 2009
|1
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Sony|Sony]] RM-YD010 remote control
|16 December 2008
|1
|$19.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|Street Fighter IV]]'' [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] C.E. [[PS3]] figurine *RARE*
|5 March 2009
|1
|$17.50
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|Street Fighter IV]]'' [[Wikipedia:Ryu (Street Fighter)|Ryu]] C.E. [[PS3]] figurine *RARE*
|7 April 2009
|1
|$19.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Super Mario 64|''Super Mario 64'']] ([[Nintendo 64]])
|15 July 2008
|1
|$15.50
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Texas Instruments|Texas Instruments]] TI-99/4A home computer NIB
|23 April 2008
|3
|$49.99
|-
|''[[Transformers]]'' ([[2007]], DVD)
|1 May 2008
|12
|$14.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Transformers (film)|''Transformers'']] with Final Battle [[Wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]] [[Wikipedia:Pontiac Solstice|Pontiac Solstice]]
|2 April 2008
|4
|No
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Transformers Animated|Transformers Animated]]'' [[Wikipedia:Optimus Prime|Optimus Prime]] vs. [[Wikipedia:Megatron|Megatron]] figures
|23 June 2008
|4
|$19.99
|-
|[[Transformers]] [[Wikipedia:Cybertron|Cybertron]]/''[[Wikipedia:Transformers: Cybertron|Transformers: Cybertron]]'' [[Wikipedia:Starscream|Starscream]] (loose)
|14 April 2008
|1
|$39.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Transformers: Energon|''Transformers: Energon'']] [[Wikipedia:Megatron|Megatron]]
|14 April 2008
|18
|$24.99
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:Vantage Point (film)|Vantage Point]]'' ([[2008]], Blu-ray Disc)
|26 December 2008
|2
|No
|-
|Vintage [[Nintendo|NES]] [[Wikipedia:Gamepad#Nintendo_Entertainment_System.2FFamily_Computer|joypad]]
|14 April 2008
|6
|$19.99
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Wedgwood|Wedgwood]] [[Wikipedia:Pennines|Pennine]] brown plate, rare and retro
|15 July 2008
|6
|No
|-
|[[Wikipedia:Western Digital|Western Digital]] Scorpio™ WD1200BEVS 120 GB SATA Hard Disk Drive
|4 November 2008
|7
|$79.99
|-
|Willitts [[1987]] Carousel Memories HTF Two Horse Plate
|14 April 2008
|8
|No
|-
|kre-o micro changers Series 1, 12 piece set complete
|18 September 2013
|1
|No
|-
|Antonio Stradiuarius Copy Faciebat Anno 1721 Violin/Fiddle With Case And Bow
|28 May 2014
|1
|Not yet
|-
|Monogram B-17G Flying Fortress And P-51B Mustang
|May 2014
|3
|$17.99
|-
|[[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]], signed
|1 June 2014
|1
|$200
|-
|colspan="3"|Total
|$1,115.59
|}

==See also==
*[[eBay]]

{{Lists}}
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:EBay]]

Giant Penis Comic

2017-09-13T19:11:38Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211311 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{DeadLinks}}
{{honest}}
The '''Giant Penis Comic''' (officially '''''Sonichu'' Comic Special 3''', also known colloquially as '''PENIS COMIC''' in the [[Audiobooks]] adaptation) is a short comic drawn by [[Chris]], depicting his [[Chris and sex|wedding night]] with [[Ivy]]. It was hacked and published by [[The Miscreants]] on [[April 2009|29 April 2009]]. Besides being a true masterpiece of romance and artistic integrity, it's also notable for having a probable outline of Chris's [[Duck|penis]]. Shakespeare would be proud.

{{quote|I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).|Ivy's response to a question in [[Ivy Q&A]]}}

==Story==
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|The Giant Penis in question.]]

Following the events of Chris and Ivy's [[Wedding Comic|wedding]], Chris meets with Ivy's father [[Officer Keino]] who, it is worth noting, looks eerily like [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off#Home_movies|coach John McGuirk]] from [[Adult Swim]]'s [[Wikipedia:Home Movies (TV series)|''Home Movies'']]. Chris immediately begins brown-nosing his new father-in-law, displaying the utmost respect to both the man and the uniform. (This is especially hilarious considering Chris's issues with [[Jerkops]], and [[Bagget]] in particular.) Keino launches into a speech about what a great man Chris is and how he admires the tribulations our hero has endured. He entrusts Ivy to Chris's "[[Mass debating|strong, capable hands]]," which makes no sense, as usually the father of the bride gives his blessing ''before'' the wedding; instead we have Keino granting Chris permission to fuck his daughter (because who wouldn't want to read a porn comic that had their father in it?)

We then see Chris and Ivy checking into the Double-CWC Hotel (A [[Random-access humor|pun]] on the phrase ''double quick'', and confirming that we are indeed still in [[CWCville]]), where Chris has reserved a luxurious penthouse suite (even though the exterior of the hotel does not show a [[Wikipedia:Penthouse apartment|penthouse]], nor do we see that their "[[Wikipedia:Suite (hotel)|suite]]" contains any more than one room). Chris has of course thought of everything—the room is set up with no fewer than five [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Glade Plug-Ins brand air fresheners]], and they will be sharing a meal of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, greens and chocolate pudding.

Chris carries [[Ivy]] over the threshold and they are almost immediately [[Nudes|naked]]. Chris stands, displaying his almighty [[duck]], which he draws as gigantic, equal in thickness (and almost in length) to his legs. Chris seems indeed to have done as Ivy said and traced his real penis - the crookedness is highly evident. [[Anime]] speed lines inexplicably whiz past both Chris and Ivy's naked forms, suggesting that they are about to lose their respective virginities in a high-speed collision. A disturbingly intense study will reveal that the speedlines are only there to cover up the fact that Chris began to draw a huge scrotum (he was probably tracing that, too) still visible as a half-circle, complete with pubes to go with his amazing duck, using the speedlines to conceal the half-finished pubes (that go off at different angles). Also, the misshapen head of the penis is the same size as his actual head.

The newlyweds copulate for all of one panel before they both transform — Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], and Ivy into her [[Ivy|Princess Ivy]] fursona. The two wretched creatures assume the [[Wikipedia:Doggy style|doggy-style position]], and fuck into the wee hours. As they achieve simultaneous orgasms, both Chris and Ivy have stars in their eyes as they share the solemn thought of thanking [[Christian Weston Chandler|God]] for allowing them to find true furfag happiness.

The comic ends with the two gorging themselves on their $10-chicken dinner, making a toast with wine glasses filled with [[CWC Cola|CWC Orange Soda]], and [[Semen|God knows what else.]] Chris and Ivy share a feeble attempt at humor that was lifted from ''Home Movies''. Strangely enough, despite this comic being set the night after Chris's wedding, neither he nor his bride are depicted wearing their wedding bands. If you look carefully though, there is what appears to be a pair of copper rings on Chris's right hand, indicating a half-hearted attempt, but they are infrequently drawn, and Ivy isn't drawn with a ring at any point. The furry sex was clearly more important to set to paper than consistently and correctly drawing the outward sign of his Christian matrimony.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComicSP3P1.jpg|HEY BRENDON, why am I in a shitty comic by an autistic manchild?
Image:SchuComicSP3P2.jpg|Ivy used too much botox. Also, note the "romantic" dinner and dessert planned.
Image:SchuComicSP3P3.jpg|This is a "penthouse suite". Also, bathroom air fresheners are a big turn on: use eight of them!
Image:SchuComicSP3P4.jpg|Chris's extraordinary sense of dimension has finally got him laid. His magically changing shirt was probably a big help too.
Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|Chris can't escape his bent [[duck|dick]] even in his comics.
Image:SchuComicSP3P6.jpg|Then the yiffing commences. Notice Chris draws himself and Ivy better as furfags than as real people.
Image:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg|THANK YOU GOD! It's over!
Image:SchuComicSP3P8.jpg|Lines [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from Home Movies. Lines that were intentionally unromantic!
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UBO4NR0H Download the Giant Penis Comic]</strike> Dead Megaupload link

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]][[Category: Ivy Saga]][[Category:Rule 34]]

BILLY MAYS

2017-09-13T19:11:17Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211309 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|[[Metal Gear Solid|NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY.]]|BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki}}

{{infobox
| title = Billy Mays
| image = [[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = William Darrell Mays
|label2 = Date of Birth
|data2 = 20 July 1958
|label3 = Date of Death
|data3 = [[June 2009|28 June 2009]] (aged {{Age|1958|7|20|2009|6|28}})
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = [[United States|American]]
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label8 = Occupations
|data8 = Pitchman<br>Mayor of [[CWCville]]
}}

'''BILLY MAYS''' (20 July [[Pre-1980#1950s|1958]] – 28 [[June 2009]]) was a [[TV]] advertising man turned [[Internet]] [[troll]], and a true [[Miscreants|patriot]], as well as the [[true and honest]] Mayor of [[CWCVille]] from [[March 2009|3 March 2009]] until his untimely and [[Death threats|highly]] [[28 October 2011|suspicious]] death. Provided both epic [[lulz]] and wisdom in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#Sonichu]] and on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] during his noble lifetime. He was famous for his signature ALL CAPS style.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==History==

[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris desecrated the memory of BILLY MAYS by portraying him with Sonichu on his shirt. Note how many fingers he has.]]

===Mayoralty===
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home [[Episode 18|smokey]]. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP [[Reeb|BEER]] AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of [[CWCville]] deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instituted several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating.{{cite}} Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.

===Murder===
On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion in [[Wikipedia:Tampa, Florida|Tampa]], where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to [[Clyde Cash]]'s apparent death on 22 [[May 2009]].

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. In [[Rollin' and Trollin']] (17 July 2009) Chris talked about the construction of the BILLY MAYS Tower in [[CWCville]] as a memorial to his dead bodyguard.

{{clear}}

==In ''Sonichu''==

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], BILLY MAYS fails to free [[Ivy]]<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92]</ref> when she is strangled by elevator wires. The slickness of the walls keeps him from climbing up them to save her. However, the walls of text and general bad writing led to some confusion and the belief that he also died in the comic.

In Chris's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Character_Bios Biography Page] on the [[CWCipedia]], he lists BILLY MAYS as a "[[Chris and English|non-cannon]]" character, despite his appearance in central episodes of Chris's comics.

==Post death==
[[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|BILLY's message from beyond]]

In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announces the near-completion of the BILLY MAYS Tower. That a skyscraper could have been constructed so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many CWCville residents believe Chris arranged the building of the Tower as a way to launder [[money]] stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the Tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's [[Chris and his Ego|popularity]].

==See also==

*[[Chris-chan_Discusses...#Chris-chan_Discusses..._Billy_Mays|Chris-chan Discusses... Billy Mays]] - Chris discusses his involvement with BILLY's death with Guru Larry.

==References==
<references/>

{{People}}

{{CWCipedia|chris=billy_mays}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:MAYS, BILLY}}
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Chris and Jackie's Date

2017-09-13T19:10:53Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211308 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{DeadLinks}}
[[File:Date.jpg|thumb|300px|A view of where Chris and "Jackie" did the do.]]
{{Quote|If it inspires me... if you really try your hardest... I will drive down to see you and pay for the hotel room myself. You won't have to pay a penny because I know you would have taken care of me in DC if you could have. I want to reward you because I know your heart is in the right place. And if you really, really show me how much it is... ;) I'll make sure you know mine is, too.|[[Jackie]] promises Chris [[hanky-panky]] for this video}}
'''Chris and Jackie's Date''' is a four-video series of a date between Chris (in full [[Tomgirl]] regalia) and [[Jackie]], here represented by a sex doll, leaked on 24 [[February 2012]]. Their romantic date consists of dancing in [[Chris's room]], a trip in [[Son-Chu]] to get some [[McDonald's]], eating it and then making out with the doll in his front yard, and Chris's attempt at re-enacting a viral video in a dressing room at the [[Ruckersville]] [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wRjc2Qg-3Y music video]</ref>

The videos were originally leaked as ''one0612-hioghuyiogyo [SaveYouTube.com], two0612-vgiherqighbvpioerua [SaveYouTube.com], three0612-rqwehgiohcnracga [SaveYouTube.com]'' and ''four0612-hncu9tgohaeruxye [SaveYouTube.com]'', and data suggests that they were recorded on 11 [[July 2011]]. Throughout the videos, Chris speaks in an even higher pitch than usual, and enunciates in a revoltingly saccharine, babyish manner. Whether this is standard procedure for [[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirls]] or some sort of cutesy way of speaking to "Jackie" is unclear.

Background was provided when some [[Jackie E-mails 29|Jackie emails]] were leaked:
{{Quote| want you to get all dolled up on the 4th. And I want you to get one of your blow up dolls and dress it up too- but as me. Print out my picture or draw a picture of my face and put it over their's. Put me in gorgeous clothes so I look every part the proud girlfriend of the hottest Tomgirl in all of Virginia. Show me around town, take me to [[McDonalds]] or Starbucks or the movies. Let's have a ball and strut our stuff! Do my make up and pretend I can do your's! Then I want us to end our romantic evening at McIntire Park, watching the fireworks together under the stars. xoxox :D :D|Jackie}}
==Videos==
===One===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NFj45Zs4lmQ}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#Two|Chris and Jackie's Date 2]]
}}

==== Transcript ====

And now, Jackie-pie, I'm gonna go ahead and sweep you off your feet.

''[Turns camera to sex doll]'' Even though right now, you're sitting down.
''[Sets camera up on a table and picks up "Jackie," swinging her around and making his own music of la's and da's, occasionally throwing in random phrases as lyrics.]''

''[He stops dancing and kisses the sex doll's lips (where his [[duck]] has inevitably been) and sets her down. He comes to turn the camera off.]''

===Two===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|i7NkpV_Vqzo}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#One|Chris and Jackie's Date 1]]
| next = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#Three|Chris and Jackie's Date 3]]
}}

==== Transcript ====

And after having picked you up Jackie and giving you a good dance and song, we are now heading out to the restaurant. We're gonna have some fun, you know, in the car-- and sitting on the car and eating our food. Yep. Yum yum. Very very good. Yum yum.

''[Proceeds to spend the rest of the video [[Random-access humor|making strange "wacka doo" noises]].]''

===Three===

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|CZoylxa3Q8w}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|Dating & [[sex]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#Two|Chris and Jackie's Date 2]]
| next = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#Four|Chris and Jackie's Date 4]]
}}

==== Transcript ====

''["Jackie" is sitting on the hood of Chris's car, which is parked on his lawn. Chris comes by and sits down, [[Obesity|making the car shake noticeably]].]''
Okay, so Jackie and I, we're here at the McDonald's parking lot... we are sitting on top our car, after-- and we just enjoyed some apple-dippers and a Happy Meal.

''[Chris gropes the doll and moves it as a child would when making a toy speak and uses a [[sexism|shrill, high pitched voice]] while he [[Chris and reality|pretends Jackie is talking]].]''

''[As Jackie]'' It was really, really tasty, yes it was. And even better...my...my professor here...fed-fed me some of the apples...and I enjoyed that.

''[As himself]'' Yes, it was very enjoyable. Very good... So Jackie-pie, what'cha wanna do now?

''[As Jackie]'' I say we make out. And then see where it goes from there.

''[As himself]'' Alright.

''[Chris then proceeds to give "Jackie" a deep, open-mouthed kiss in the'' public parking lot of a McDonald's. ''He reaches past her and clicks an iPod or a radio. "[[Wikipedia:California Gurls|California Gurls]]" plays. Chris then moves the doll so that he his legs are wrapped around it, its legs around him. He makes out with it for a few seconds before doing a strange, [[gaybian|scissor-like]] sex act. He makes sex noises, switching between his voice and Jackie's. He kisses her again for a moment before returning to his strange humping. He then puts the doll on the hood of his car, turns the music off, and rushes to the camera.]''

God, it's hot out here.

===Four===
{{Honest}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and Jackie's Date 4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y1njcaeYmSs}}
| stardate = 11 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_and_Jackie%27s_Date#Three|Chris and Jackie's Date 3]]
| next = [[Who's Your Brony?]]
}}

==== Transcript ====

Here we go.

[''Immediately starts humping the sex doll while making high-pitched moaning sounds'']

[''after 10 seconds, he turns the sex doll around into the doggy-style position before it goes off-camera, the blow-up doll going head first into his mold-coated bathtub.]

[''Resumes shrill, sexual moans that sound like a whimpering dog while thrusting the doll's behind.'']

[''Continues moaning suggestively'']

Yeah!

[''Moans some more. He pauses to reach over to something (water):'']

Whoopie! [''tosses water into the air as if "Jackie" climaxes & squirts everywhere.'']

[''Sighs of relief, wipes shirt on face from the [[Chris and Health|intensity]] and to remove Jackie-Pie's "cum" before turning the camera off'']

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Who's Your Brony?]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Chris and sex

2017-09-13T19:10:36Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211310 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Honest}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris is actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

====Transcript====
I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Tomgirl|female]] enough or [[Chris and his ego|attractive]] enough that [[Chris and reality|a man would want to rape him.]]

==Sexting==

<strike>[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]</strike> Link down. Please reupload.

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[China]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Un-clit

2017-09-13T19:10:13Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211307 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{honest}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]].]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|thumb|A Karma Houdini at work.]]

The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobos.

After a couple of weeks, the piercing began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection." Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the migration worsening, and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, his body still rejected it and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether.

Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewellery, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.

==September 18th Facebook Status==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own [[duck|Penis]] Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My [[china|Vagina]] Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

Chris appeared to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

==Repiercing the Un-clit==
On 4 [[December 2014]], an update was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-got-his-taint-repierced.6336/</ref>

{{quotebox|I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.}}

{{quotebox|Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.}}

{{quotebox|I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.}}

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the first migration had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that Chris's lack of general hygiene would lead to him risking septicemia.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his [[duck]] while he wore [[Tomgirl Saga|women's clothing]]. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

==The End of the Un-clit==
{{quote|I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.|Chris has finally given up on the piercing.}}

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another migration). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-un-clit-is-no-more-chris-comes-to-his-senses.6467/</ref> He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on [[C-Mas]] [[December 2014|2014]] still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref> Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]].

==...or Is It?==
{{main|Un-clit 2.0}}
On 24 [[July 2016]], Chris announced on Facebook that he had grown labia. In reality, while attempting D.I.Y. gender transition surgery, '''he had cut his taint open with a knife'''.

==Photos==
{{collapsible
|Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.|<center><gallery>
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|The piercing as it originally appeared.
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|The piercing after becoming badly infected.
File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|The duck strap.
File:ChrisContraption_03.JPG|The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris.
File:ChrisContraption 05.JPG|The duck strap, from the left.
</gallery></center>}}

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Un-clit 2.0]]

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Sonichu Game Talk

2017-09-13T19:09:52Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211306 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

"'''Sonichu Game Talk'''" (officially "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 1'''" and "'''Sonichu Game Talk Part 2'''") is a two-part video made by Chris in August [[2008]], in which he discusses the upcoming ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu]]'' video game by [[JK Productions]], which he would later discover to be an elaborate prank.

Despite making no contributions to the game, Chris assures his fans that he is working hard on the storyline, which really just boils down to [[Rosechu]] getting kidnapped at the [[mall]], like in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] and [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]. And so forth. Also, you'd be able to play each stage as any of the other [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]

Throughout the video, Chris continues to segue in and out of talking about the comics, explaining how he'll be returning from the [[Time Void]] to defeat [[Count Graduon]], only to step down as Mayor of [[CWCville]] and take a less prominent role in the story. Chris also hints that Graduon will encounter [[Metal Sonichu]] later on, which will have serious ramifications down the road. He also announces [[Black Sonichu]]'s name change, and his love affair with [[Bubbles Rosechu]].

Chris also mentions the trust he has for his good friends [[Blanca]] and [[Robert Simmons V]], which is why he featured them in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]]. He then plugs the JK Productions blog, and signs off.

==Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lCd9-ZIXEj0}}
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}
| previous = [[An Official Sonichu Update]]
| next = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2
}}

{{quote|I will be coming out of the, uh, time void.}}

=== Transcript ===

An update to my loyal [[Trolls|fans]] on the Internet through the [[YouTube]]! [[Chris and his Ego|You know who I am by now]]: the big CWC, the original creator of Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

Alright. Well, first off, I am going to, uh, give y'all some talk as, uh, w—as, uh... ''suggested'' by my, uh, associates, who are in… on the Sonichu game that's—uh, that's, uh, in development. I'm, uh, still thinkin' about the, uh, story very much. It's in m—all—it's—well, I got a big chunk of the stories in my head. It's gonna be, like, multiple stories, like, you know... we’ll go through multiple characters—uh, all the original Sonichu and Rosechu hedgehogs. That's, uh, one idea. Yeah. So, uh...

Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm just gonna—anyway, I'm just gonna mention, uh, a few, uh, random, uh, things that I'm thinkin' about between the comic… and the game and... whatever else that may come out of it.

Mmm. As for, uh, plans—as for future plans of the game once it, uh, gets, uh… once it gets fully developed and released onto the, uh, systems, excluding the, uh, [[Hex Box|H-HEXBox]]... [''stops speaking, looking suddenly confused'']

Yeah. Anyway, um... [''starts tapping [[PS3]] controller against hand'']

Once we get this—uh, once we get the, uh, game o—game project off the ground (hopefully with the assistance of [[Miyamoto|Nintendo of America]] and [[Sega]] of America [''inhales sharply''])... we will de—w—there will definitely be the, uh, release of the [[Jimmy Hill|official Sonichu merchandise]], including officially-released and… distributed—manufactured [[medallion]]s, for, uh, one thing. Copies of my, uh, ''C''—my ''[[DVD|CWC on TV DVD]]''... that you've seen only a few bits of on the, uh, [[YouTube]]... and such, and, uh, the ac—as well as, uh, possible—uh, S—possible Sonichu action figures.

Mmm… let me point out one thing just, uh, so we're clear: the name of the comic is "''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''". "'''''Sonichu'''''". It's about—it ''should'' be mostly about the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon—''not me''; I'm just the intrusive director, and I picked up that plotline from the anime series ''[[Excel Saga]]'', with [[Wikipedia:Shinichi Watanabe|Shinichi Watanabe]] [[Parody|doin’ pretty much the same thing that I did]].

But, you know, I'll give y'all a sneak peek: at the [[Sonichu 9|end of the, uh, season]], I will be [[Homo|coming out]] of the, uh, [[Time Void]]. But, also, I will be, uh, relinquish—I will be relinquishing my, uh, role as Mayor, but I will still be the main founder of [[CWCville]]. I will be giving the keys of... [''stutters unintelligibly'']. ''Storywise'', I'll be giving the keys to the city and the—and the whole Mayorship to my... imag—to my [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|twin sister]]. But do note that I will still definitely be the original creator of Sonichu, no matter what, even though I'm just—even though I'm basically takin’ m’out—myself out of the story, 'cause I felt like... I've been [[Ego|hogging the spotlight]] for too long, so... at the end of the season, I will... humbly withdraw myself. But I will still be making, like, you know, ''cameo''... appearances now and then (as I see fit) in the comic. [''inhales sharply'']

As for the, uh, story of the, uh, game... I got a few ideas on my mind—uh, alright. So, here's the idea. Alright. At the end of seas—at the end of the comics’ season one, I will reveal that—I will reveal that, uh... I take uh, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s, uh... ''wand''... that's, uh, also known as th—also, you know, is—has the spirit of the evil [[Count Graduon]]. He's gonna be the big, leading villain... in the second season. I'll be tossin’ the wand... tossin’ it up to [[the Moon]], and, you can take a stab at, uh, [[Metal Sonichu|who he will manifest into]]... that has been stranded on the moon since, uh… [[Sonichu 1|Number 1]]. Comic... ''Number''... One. Emphasis on the "''number''"... because... you don't wanna get messed up with Z—[[Sonichu 0|''Number'' Zero]].

==Part 2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|LiIZCnAW7lY}}
| stardate = 28 [[August 2008]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}; {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{SeaGreenPolo|text}}
| previous = Sonichu Game Talk, Part 1
| next = [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]
}}

{{quote|Sonichu.net! 'Nothin' but net.'}}

=== Transcript ===

So… that's something for y'all to—read the comic and get yourself familiar with.

Mmm… let’s see what else we got here… um… oh, yeah. It's, uh, the main point—the, uh, ''villain''. Now, uh… as far as some ideas I have upon the, uh, multiple stories, uh, I'll give ya, like, uh, beginnings of what I have in mind, in a nutshell.

First’ll be—first at—you’ll be able to unlock by—you'll be able to play by default in the video game—the Sonichu game... will be... Sonichu. The original—the original Sonichu. [''inhales deeply''] Basically, with the opening’d be him being—running about like, you know, like [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] would? And, then, he finds out that, uh... Rosechu's been kidnapped. So, uh, he's— so the— basically, his story will be to, uh... go out and rescue her.

And then, uh, event—and then, event—and then, as ''his'' story progresses, he'll get to meet all the other hed—all the other hedgehogs, as well. But, then, uh, we move on over to, uh, Rosechu's story, where, like, you know...

First, we, uh, see her makin' her trek down to the, uh, shop—down to the [[CWCville Mall|shopping mall]], and she—and then, uh, we—uh... As she g—we follow her as she, uh, picks up the—uh, multiple number of items she, uh, wants and needs, like, uh, [''switches to a disturbing falsetto''] “Ooh! Look at that [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]]! [[Women's Rights|That ring's so pretty]]!” [''switches back to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, eventually, she ''will'' get kidnapped, and that will be where it will tie into the beginning of ''Sonichu's'' story.

And then, we go to—and, then, uh, we go into [[Wild Sonichu]]'s story. Uh... not fully developed as to, like, uh, what his goal is yet, but, you know... it will definitely, uh, be like, you know... he'll be able to sss—vine swing through every level. At least, uh, he'll be able to vine swing as much as reasonably plau—possible.

And, then, we go onto [[Bubbles]]. [''switches to a kinda-cutesy voice''] Everybody love Bubbles. [''fully switches to cutesy voice''] Bubbles is the ''bub-bl-y'' one! [''switches back to normal voice''] Anyway, yeah. Some—uh, [[Masturbating and squirtin'|she'll get more wet]]. I mean, uh, a—all the hedgehogs will go through… all the same levels, 'cept a variation. Bubbles will be mostly being a—will mostly be able to swim. Some—so, somewhat underwater versions of those levels. And [[Angelica]], you know, well, she'll s— she’ll be flying high... casting off Wing Attacks against, uh, the enemies in ''her'' story.

[[Punchy]]'s, uh… he's just gonna be punchin’ down the bad guys… but, ''unlike'' Knuckles, ''not''—no—no treasure hunting. He's not a treasure hunter... He's, uh, basically just a master of the ol’… ''ninjitsu''… [''raises hands in a mock-[[Wikipedia:Ninjutsu|ninjutsu]] stance''] and something, but he mostly [''switches to a deep voice''] ''punches!'' Punch, punch, punch! [''mimes throwing punches, then returns to normal voice''] Yeah. And, then, [[Magi-Chan]], you know, he'll be ab—he'll—he’ll be similar to, like, what Silver could do, since, you know, he ''is'' the psychic one. [''slowly waves one hand, pretending to use telekinesis'']

And yes, [[Black Sonichu]] will, uh… yeah, definitely give him his story in the—his own storyline, like, you know… you know, basically, starts off as ba—starts off bad, like he did, but, then, uh, he gets betrayed by, uh, [[Naitsirhc]], who turns into Reldnahc. Yeah. S—so, anyway, uh… yeah, they basically lea—so, they basically leaves him… behind, and, uh… tries—goes about, uh, lookin’ up his own, uh, meaning of, uh, life, and whatnot… like, uh, similarly—how Shadow would. But, also, reveal definitely… ''Black'' Sonichu. Also, you know, for short—for Black Sonichu was “Blachu”? I'm changin' it! For his nickname, as it will be revealed—revealed in the upcoming [''switches to an increasingly gay voice''] [[Sonichu 8|"Spring Break issue"]]! [''drops gay voice and puts on a vaguely Mexican accent''] Everybody have fun on Spring Break! [''returns to normal voice''] He will prefer to be called ''“Blake”''. Simply “Blake”.

Yeah. So, anyway, yeah, Blake's fartin' around with Bubbles… [''switches to kinda-cutesy voice again''] but Bubbles likes to try to think that she can keep it—keep it to herself, like, you know, she wants to l—she wants—she has a, like, uh, you know… [''fully switches to cutesy voice again''] ooh, she turned on by the [''abruptly switches to a bad Palpatine impression''] ''Dark Side''... of the Force… [''returns to normal voice''] and all the ''[[Duck|naught-i-ness]]'' that Black—that Blake will want to bring with him! But it's obvious to Ro—it's obvious to original Rosechu. So, she talks to—so, she…—what's the word I'm looking for? What's the wor—you know, uh... oh, yeah. She gossips with Ang—she gossips with Angelica about it.

Anyway, uh, among all the, uh, stories between my Electric Hedgehogs and, uh, myself, I'll be leaving s—the, uh, s—at the end of the s—first season. Mmm… I'll have a feeling that, you know, I'll be able to, uh, work better, once in real life I actually do find my woman to become my ''[[sweetheart]]''… but… you know, it's so—it's nice to know that I actually do have a… good [[gal-pal]] that I made over the Internet recently, whose, uh, inspired character—she was inspired by me. Her inspired character I've given my full approval f—of and introduced in the comic I just uploaded to what is now—can also be considered to be… [[Sonichu.net]]! ''“Nothin' but net.”'' Screw your ''com''! I got da net! Yeah.

Her name is, uh, y—sh—her online name is, uh, [[Blanca|KawaiiKitsune]]… and she is the—and she, herself, is the original character of—the new bubblegum pop star: [''holds up drawing of [[Jiggliami]] while speaking in the cutesy voice yet again''] ''Jiggliami''! Jiggliamiii… [''returns to normal voice''] Yeah. So, like, you know, uh... it's possible she may, uh, act—she and I might actually meet in the future, but, uh... Yeah, 'cause, you know… I—reason why I put—I allowed, uh, like, you know, interviews with, uh, KawaiiKitsune and, uh, [[Robert Simmons V]]? 'Cause those two—they both, res—they both—"each" have earned my trust… in their own way, between, uh, Robert's YouTube videos and, uh... just—uh, and then, a whole bunch of, uh, honest chats between, uh, Kawaii... Yeah. So, basically... they both earned my trust, so I give 'em... ''radio interview'' on the—in the comic between [[Jamsta]] and [[Lolisa|Lo-isa]]! [''"sings"''] ''Lolisaaa!'' [''pauses and returns to normal voice''] Yeah.

Okay. So, uh, anyway, point is... Sonichu game: I just gave you the, uh, details on that… gave you a little sneak peek at the, uh... Spring Break issue… and, uh... and the Season One. But, uh, basically, the, uh, Sonichu game will definitely have, uh, you know, stories between… Sonichu and Rosechu and all—and the other hedgehogs. The—they're like if y—or like, uh, they'll, uh, start it—they'll start off with the stories that originally originate in Season One. They'll mostly be, uh, the newer stories that'll be s—revealed in Season Two.

Alright. So, anyway, that's the, uh… update. Be sure you go to, uh, sonichugame.blogspot.com… to, uh, talk to my associates over at… JK… [''stifles a burp and exhales loudly''] Productions. Or, uh, con—or, uh, talk about how you're lookin' forward to the game because… yep… just like sonichu.''net'', I'm excited—I'm excited about the game, as well. I don't have any ''future'' plans as of this point, but, uh… you know, I think my—I'll feel better when my future's set, when I have my, uh, sweetheart.

So... thank you very much, everyone of you, for your, uh, patronage. And I hope y'all have a pleasant day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[An Official Sonichu Update]]|nextlink=[[Christian's Update 11 September 2008]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2008|28]]

Congrats, Jack Black

2017-09-13T19:09:26Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211305 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

'''Congrats, Jack Black''' (officially '''12122009 - Congrats, Jack Black.MOV''') is a video uploaded by [[Christian Weston Chandler]] on 12 [[December 2009]]. Chris offers his opinions about Jack Black's win of a [[Wikipedia:Spike Video Game Awards|Spike Video Game Award]] for voice acting in ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', and breaking tables. The [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] he's wearing greatly enhances his [[Obesity|generous silhouette]] and shows us that he's not wearing any [[Muscle bra|support]].

Note that within the video game industry and among most informed viewers, the Spike Awards [[Wikipedia:Spike Video Game Awards#Reception|are treated as a big joke]] and not a serious honor. The program is specifically tailored, both in its choice of awards and its general presentation, to focus on star-power, heavily-marketed games, and games produced by the show's sponsors rather than actual technical or acting achievements in gaming.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Congrats, Jack Black
| video = {{#ev:youtube|snronDmtAOs}}
| stardate = 12 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Fanmail Reading]]
| next = [[iPods Down and Listen Up]]
}}

{{quote|Maybe you'll do better next time. }}

=== Transcript ===
Hmm. Well, I guess I can call it a little bit of a [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate: December 12th.

[''sigh''] Anyway, I'm drawin' a couple more pages for tonight's update. It's gonna be a little bit late, but, uh, you know... still be able to do it— at least...tomorrow morning. But, anyway, uhh... I was watching the Spike Video Games Awards for 2009, as well— eh, mostly listening— but I watched the part, you know, where... Jack— where Jack Black— Jack Black, you know, won Best Voice Actor...of the Year for ''Brutal Legend''! Hmm. Yeah.

But you know what? Rather than if that was an act or not with the, uhh, smashing of the table and all that...mmm...I...I think, you know, whether it was an act...or truly a— you know, an impulse of manhood right there.

Anyw—anyway, I feel for ya... Jack; i—it shoulda' been ''Game'' of the Year. I mean, aside from... you know, from the...little bit of a play back in the 2008 VGA Awards...that you did in the beginning of it... Still, I was lookin' forward to ''Brutal Legend'' the whole year [''squeaky falsetto''] long, and...we— I just see if it will become the Game of the Year as you called it. Hmm, well... Hey, you still got the award. And maybe you can— maybe you can do ''Brutal Legend '''II''''', and I'm lookin' forward to the movie...I've heard about. And, you know, I ''have'' seen the, uh, footage for...supposedly put on the weight to...pretend to...act as Jack Black 'till the game release. [''more squeakers''] I knew that was an act, 'cuz, you know... Yeah, you— you— you are nor— you are still as normal as you were last year.

But anyway, Jack, congratuwations, and...maybe you'll do better next— maybe you'll do better next time.

ROCK ON!

==See also==
* [[Brutal Legend Plus|''Brutal Legend'' Plus]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Fanmail Reading]]|nextlink=[[IPods Down and Listen Up]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-12]]

Main Page

2017-09-13T19:09:07Z

ChrisMommy:

{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
| style="width:100%; color:#000;" |

{| style="width:100%; border:none; background:none;"
| style="width:50%; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;" |
<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The [[TRUE and HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|SHIT]] IS TOO [[Duck|MINOR]]! ''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles... and counting!</div>
|}

| style="width:50%; font-size:100%;" |
[[File:CWCiki Introduction.jpg]]
|}


{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff; color:#000; width:100%"
! <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Quote of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
|}
|}


{| id="mp-tfp" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:100%; border:1px solid #EEDC82; background:#FFE4B5; vertical-align:top; color:#000;"|
{| cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background:#FFE4B5; color:#000; width:100%"
| style="color:#000;" | {{Check this out}}
|}
|}


{| id="mp-upper" style="margin:0 0 0 0; background:none;"
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; background:#f5fffa; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5fffa;"
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Begging Counter</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Begging Counter}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Article of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">This Day in Christory</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cef2e0; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did You Know...</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |

| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #cedff2; background:#f5faff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#f5faff;"
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Da Update</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">CWCki News</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCki News}}</div>
|-
| <h2 id="mp-otd-h2" style="margin:0; background:#cedff2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Improvement Project of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Improvement}}</div>
|}
|}
{| id="mp-lower" style="margin:4px 0 0 0; width:100%; background:none;"


| class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-left" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Picture of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
|}
| style="border:1px solid transparent;" |

| class="MainPageBG" style="width:45%; border:1px solid #ddcef2; background:#faf5ff; vertical-align:top;"|
{| id="mp-right" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="width:100%; vertical-align:top; background:#faf5ff;"
| <h2 id="mp-tfp-h2" style="margin:0; background:#ddcef2; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em">Video of the Now</h2>
|-
| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
|}
|}


__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]

Niggos

2017-09-13T19:08:43Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211303 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Honest}}
{{Quote|Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! [[Chris and remorse|And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!]]|[[Chris]], [[March 2010]]}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and [[racism]], both intentional and unintentional. His racism probably comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his parental upbringing]], [[Chris's room|his isolated formative years]], [[television]], [[naïve|naïvete]], and [[Chris and his ego|complete ignorance of everything that isn't him]]. '''Black people''', in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia.

==Etymology of "Niggos"==
{{protip|Chris only ever used the word "niggos" once. He has said "nigger" more than once, though.}}

'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|3 March 2009 chat]], where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying "''[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers.''" Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying "niggos" instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done, like...

* Refuse to say the N-word,
* Literally say "N-word,"
* Say something else like "blacks" or "African-Americans,"
* Leave race out of the matter entirely by saying "criminals" or "prisoners,"
* Bleep himself out, or
* End the conversation and simply not be a retard,

He chose to coin a dumb ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal. It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. BlueSpike pointed out Chris's stupidity, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing "[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|Don't Trust Them New Niggers Over There]]" on his own will until BlueSpike cussed him out for it. Chris has done this more than once before.<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary|"Mumble #7"]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Summary|"BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5"]]</ref> So much for respecting the minorities.

Chris has never again used the word "niggo" and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. Nonetheless, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

However, in a video posted on his [[YouTube]] channel on 17 [[March 2010]], Chris finally dropped the [[100 2151.MOV|N-bomb]], making him go from an accidental racist to an official one. The [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|Surfshack Tito e-mails]], released shortly afterward, featured further use of the slur, suggesting that Chris has entirely gotten over the resistance he showed in his conversation with BlueSpike. His use of the slur led directly to the vandalization of the [[CWCipedia]] by opening it up to public editing. Chris being Chris, he failed to connect the two events.
{{clear}}

=="[[Evan|No Darkies]]"==
{{protip|Chris has never said or written "No darkies," nor has he ever used the word "darkie."}}

[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply1evan.png]]</ref>]]

Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|"Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009"]]</ref> Chris tells this not only to trolls, but to black [[boyfriend-free girls]] in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion." To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's Psychiatric Examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a Boyfriend free girl, much to his chagrin. This is essentially accurate; for example, on Chris's profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] he says that "[[Tobacky|smokers]], [[obesity|overweights]], blacks, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|liars]] need not apply."

Some may ask whether or not excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Whatever the case, ''white'' women are also victims, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's targets of stalking and harassment. Chris also has stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

Chris's stated reason for not being interested in black women is that his dream-prophecy of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] shows her to be white, which means her mother must be white as well. However, a hole was punched in this defense when Chris's [[Dating profiles|dating site profiles]] made it clear that while all he wanted was sex, black women were still personae non grata. This justification for his blatant racism was further proven to be a lie when he was specifically asked to describe all the races he would date and he answered, "all but black."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref>

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|left|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]
[[File:Difficult time lady.jpg|thumb|300px|The "damn old bitchy, black woman."]]

There were some teenaged black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]]' [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The official reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these children.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ while playing [[Yu-Gi-Oh]]. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered "I mean your face down monster...."<ref>[[Mimms]]' [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

When Chris talked on the phone to [[Jackie]]'s boyfriend [[Lars]], he tried to bridge the gap between their different races by speaking in Ebonics, including referring to himself as a "nigga" (although ''not'' as a "niggo") and making statements like, "I enjoy the TV shows I get from the, from the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them."<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>

On 27 [[June 2012]], Chris posted in [[Facebook]] a photo of a black woman at McDonald's who he said discriminated against him, and demanded people not go there, and if they do to "throw newspaper in the damn old bitchy, black woman's face!!!"

In 2014, when Chris was infatuated with [[Catherine]], he had a romantic rival by the name of [[Colin]]. Needless to say, Chris's intolerance towards niggos hadn't changed over the years, as he sent a message describing the light shining off of Colin's head in a photo as "poo light."
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', virtually all black characters are depicted as criminals, villains, or undesirables. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race-related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black; the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris [[autism|believed as being a real rumor]], and illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein." Chris removed the joke after Obama won the election, but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Blake|Black Sonichu/Blachu/Blake]]===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy." Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain, but switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite stereotypical. He is brought into the CWCverse against his will, and the white [[Reldnahc]] quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Blachu then proceeds to steal a pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a [[Legendary Master Sunstone|precious stone]] under his instruction. Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while unable to defend properly. Before his name change, several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist. For example, [[Wild]] remarks, "I was following this black guy on a board." To Chris's credit, Blake eventually becomes a positive character, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Still, the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty. Both Blake and Chris showed their true colors (no pun intended) in [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]: when approached by a [[Inos|stereotypical Rastafari man]] who wished him a Happy Kwanzaa, Blake was outright offended to be equated with black people. In the six year hiatus of ''Sonichu'' comics, Chris' sensitivity has not improved.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Dr. Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Dr. Meniru gave Chris an F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in CWCville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]], the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Dr. Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the only [[South_Park|black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Dr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===[[Silvana]]===
A '''villain''', psychic Rosechu who was trained by [[Count Graduon]] on [[Moon|the Moon]]. Graduon also gave her a [[pickle|dick]]. In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], she raped and poisoned [[Blake]] while disguised as Bubbles, and planned to do the same to [[Bubbles]] while disguised as Blake. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, [[Magi-Chan]] spoiled that Silvana would lose her male genitalia and fall in love with him. The [[CWCipedia]] confirmed this.

===Minor(ity) Characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]] - A girl whose sole purpose in the comic is to be rejected by Reginald.
*[[Jerkhief]] - The Big Cheese of the Jerkops. Apparently, not every black person in the story has to be a racist caricature.
*[[Inos]] - A homeless, intoxicated, diseased, drug-pushing, expectorating Jamaican with filthy dreadlocks.
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] - A police officer who talks entirely in stereotypical "black slang."
*PHI Spring Break reporter ([[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "Sistas and brothas."
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]] at CWCville Forest - In [[Sonichu 9#Episode 20: CWC-Defense|episode 20]], [[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] are attacked at the CWCville Forest by a large group of jerkops, many of whom are black.<ref>''[[Sonichu 9]]'', pp. [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_47 47]-[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_49 49].</ref>

==See also==
* [[Chris and race|Chris and Race]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|"Chris Drops the N-Bomb"]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]
* [[Song for Jackie.MOV|"Song for Jackie.MOV"]] - Chris's infamous blackface video.
* [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|"Lars Is Jivin'.MP4"]] - Chris in all his thugnificence.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

Jackie E-mails 2

2017-09-13T19:08:13Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211300 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{main|Jackie E-mails}}

====More questionnaire, Game Place is brewing====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 11, 2010 - 4:00pm<br>
I had a nice time at my church today; it was a good service, and my pastor gave a delightful sermon.

I stopped by [[the Game Place]] afterwards, my past associate, Nathan was there; he greeted me, recognized me, and gave me the expected crap. I was all, "I can not believe this, it has been TWO YEARS and I am not forgiven? And I can not believe that man is STILL working here." And he was "Well, it doesn't matter, he is the manager" (more like [[Manajerk|ManaJerk]]) "if he has not given you permission to come back, and you don't leave right now, I will have to call the [[police]]." So I asked if he was there; [[Michael Snyder]] was not there, but he will be there tomorrow. I have just written/drawn up the game plan, with the goal in mind being getting the [[ban]] lifted off of me (relieving me of one less Major Worry). I plan on handling this as peacefully as possible; I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself. And with the recorded evidence I'll have from his own words, if it is good enough, and he does not forgive me or allow me back in, I may call the police on him.

I'm right now still recovering from the [[Stress|angst]] from the setback, but I'll survive, and I will win.

<nowiki>*deep breaths*</nowiki>

On a more pleasant note, during her sermon, my pastor, Elizabeth, had informed us of a fun 90+-year old dude who was silent, yet comedic. :)

He died recently, but she shared printed copies of a questionnaire he filled out for the Young Adult Group (of which Elizabeth gave her support on his honorary membership); his answers were very good, honest and fun to read.

I took a copy for myself; the questions are good, and I thought it would be fun for you and me to answer these as well.

1) If you could build your house anywhere, where would it be?
<br>-I would likely build my house here in [[Ruckersville]], [[Charlottesville]], or move back to Chesterfield County; all good places to live, plus my life is revolved around the three areas mostly.
<br>2) What's your [[Chris and fashion|favorite article of clothing]]?
<br>-I like my Jeans.
<br>3) What's your favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?
<br>-I like the face, because most of the time I look at the face, and I can see some of the personality behind it. Like behind your face, Jackie, I see a [[sweetheart|sweet and fun-loving woman]]. And from what I have heard from you so far, an honest and compassionate one, and I feel it is a woman like you I would want to be with for a long time. <3
<br>4) What's the last CD (and/or MP3) that you bought?
<br>-The last CD I bought was Celtic Woman, "Songs From the [Heart]", and the last MP3 I purchased was A Taste of Honey's "Boogie Oogie Oogie".
<br>5) Where's your favorite place to be?
<br>-[[Chris's room|My bedroom]].
<br>6) Where's your least favorite place to be?
<br>-Any place that is filled to the brim with [[Tobacky|smokers]].
<br>7) What's your favorite place to be massaged?
<br>-My shoulders.
<br>**Check out George's answer, "Depends on the definition of "place." One place is Healthsouth, 6910 Richmond Hwy. Ask for Michelle."
<br>8) What's most important, strong in mind or strong in body?
<br>-I like to think a strong mind is important, because not only does it store our personalities and intelligence, but also stores our will to be strong in body too.
<br>9) What time do you wake in the morning?
<br>-When I wake in the morning, it's usually [[Biological clock|between 8 and 9 AM]].
<br>10) What's your favorite [[TV]] show?
<br>(I already asked this last e-mail; see that for my answer as well)
<br>11) What's your favorite kitchen appliance?
<br>-Microwave.
<br>**George said "Chair".
<br>12) What's your favorite childhood memory?
<br>-Building with [[Lego]] bricks and pieces.
<br>13) What makes you laugh?
<br>-I'm going to agree with George on this one, [[Random-access humor|"Mostly things unexpected."]]
<br>14) What makes you really [[angry]]?
<br>-Again, with George, "[[Trolls|Mostly things expected, but better forgotten.]]"
<br>15) If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
<br>-I would say [[Gitar of fail|Guitar]], although my father showed me his Trumpet. I did try the Trumpet for a while, but it didn't work out for me.
<br>16) What's your favorite restaurant?
<br>-Country Cookin'.
<br>17) What was the scariest moment of your life?
<br>-When there is a chance I'm losing a really close friend or relative.
<br>18) If there was a movie about you, what current/former Hollywood Star would play you?
<br>-Peter Cullin (He was the voice of the original, and new movies, [[Optimus Prime]]); I feel he is capable of maintaining a noble type of personality that I feel I have, as well as the emotional ups and downs like I have felt, and still maintain the determination to move forward.
<br>19) Do you believe in afterlife?
<br>-Yes, and I also feel reincarnation is a possibility too.
<br>20) What was your favorite children's book?
<br>-"The Berenstain Bears and the Bad Habit".
<br>21) What is your favorite season?
<br>-Spring; it's getting warmer, but it's not too hot yet, and the plants are in bloom with life.
<br>22) What is your least favorite household chore?
<br>-Garbage duty; it ain't clean, but someone's got to do it.
<br>23) If you could have one super power, what would it be?
<br>-Psychic: Telekinesis, Teleportation, Seeing into the Future.
<br>24) If you have a tattoo, what is it?
<br>-I do not have any tattoos.
<br>25) Who was your first [[love]] and at what age?
<br>-(I said it before) Tiffany Robinson; 9 years old.
<br>26) What's the song you wish you had written?
<br>-Have Written It; a song about [[Autism]], it's called "[[A-U-T-I-S-M|A-U-T-ISM]]"; it's on my "[[Christian & the Hedgehog Boys]]" CD Album (currently solely in my posession ''[sic]''). I may redo that song to better elaborate what Autism is. LOL.
<br>27) Do you prefer cats or dogs?
<br>-I like them both; they're fun, mostly cute, and they love you anyway.
<br>28) What's in the trunk of your [[car]]?
<br>-A car jack, a few blankets, and sometimes stuff that either has to be brought into the house or donated to a Goodwill.
<br>29) Who are some people likely to respond to this questionnaire?
<br>-They're asking for a name or two, but I say anyone who is willing to spare the time.
<br>30) Least likely?
<br>-People who are [[Chris|too engorged in their own selves]].
<br>31) What is your favorite day of the week?
<br>-Friday.
<br>32) Using only one word, describe yourself.
<br>-[[Chris and his ego|Noble]].

Wow, 31 more questions to answer in addition to the last e-mail I sent you; we're really getting to know each other here, Jackie-Heart. LOL

I await your reply; please be sure to read all of the e-mails before you reply, so you won't have to send multiple e-mails. Printing them out beforehand helps too.

Oh, let me go ahead and give you my cell phone number, (434)-760-0848. And please inform me of your number (including area code) so I can recognize it being you on my cell's caller ID.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<br>
Hugs and Kisses,<br>
Christian.}}

====The Game Place aftermath: Chris's version====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 12, 2010 - 6:02pm

I've just got back home. I returned to the Game & Hobby Place, to try to resolve peace and get myself unbanned from the store through [[Michael Snyder|MIchael]]. That [[jerk]] is soo Cold-Hearted; he looked at me, and he constantly said "No". At the end, he picked up his phone and started calling the police (I did [[Chris and English|not want no trouble]] with the Police), so I left, leaving him with a stern remark. I had my digital camera hidden in my vest pocket the whole time; I have the whole conversation very clearly recorded. Considering after what had transpired, I decided to upload the audio-only [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|video]] onto my [[YouTube]]. I tried to be nice and peaceful. Now HE will have to deal with my [[Trolls]] for his discrimination against me.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

At least I had my plan written out, and I was able to say most of my pre-thought lines. And I tried with a spice of attitude.

-How's your project that you told me about going for you? Knowing your spunky can-do attitude, I'll bet it is going very well.
<br>-I would like to invite you to come visit my church one sunday with me; the people are very nice, and the service is good.
<br>-How do you like the plan for our date on Friday? Do you want to meet at F.S. or at the Downtown Mall?
<br>-Did you take some more pics of yourself yet?
<br>-I am curious on your voice; may I get a sample of how you sound, please?
<br>-With that, do you consider yourself one with a fair singing voice?
<br>-How do you like my voice from my videos (if you have had the chance to see them)?

I'm gonna go get some dinner now; I'm having a [[McDonalds|salad with grilled chicken strips tonight]].

I'm still thinking sweetly and fondly of you. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<br>
Stay Safe,<br>
Christian.}}

====Jackie's Questionnaire #2====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 12, 2010 - 6:50pm<br>
Wow, let me get some of these questions down:

Favorite TV show: I don't watch much TV, don't really have time, but Oz was probably my favorite show ever.
<br>What is a word you just really hate hearing/being called? I think "stress" is a word I hear way too often. People all around me at school always complain about stress they're having, but it turns out to be an excuse not to do the hard work they need to be doing.
<br>If you could build your house anywhere, where would it be? Probably in Montenegro or the Peleponnese... such beautiful places.
<br>Where's your favorite place to be? A football field.
<br>Where's your least favorite place to be? Probably cooped up in my room.
<br>If you could play any instrument, what would it be? I already play one, the piano. I love it.
<br>Do you believe in the afterlife? I don't know, I'm more concerned with being a better person in this life, I'm not going to concern myself with trying to get to the next one.
<br>Using only one word, describe yourself: Selective.

You should learn to play the guitar, since you have plenty of time! I'd really love to hear you sing for me, Chris, but I'd love even more [[Liquid Chris|if you could play your guitar for me too]]. (Although it takes a long time and hard work to learn an instrument, so I can wait on that. But why would you want Peter Cullen to play you? I looked him up but he's really old, like 60. I think [[Obesity|Chris Farley]] kind of looks like you actually, he was hilarious.

Sorry if I seemed nagging about your [[sonichu]], I just want to know how much of your effort you put into it. How many hours a day do you spend working on it? What exactly do you do with it each day? This is kind of an important subject to me, Chris, I want to be with a man who is working for a living. I mean, how much [[money]] are you making off of sonichu? Or if you haven't really gotten it off the ground financially yet, where do you get your income from?

I'll talk more later, can't wait to hear about the Game Place!

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Jackie calls out Chris about The Game Place====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 12, 2010 - 7:20pm<br>
Um, hey, Chris.

So, I just watched the video... and honestly, I'm a little bothered by how you conducted yourself. Firstly, you called this Michael Snyder person a jew at the beginning? Why did you do that? You said you his name mean he was "possibly a jew" as [[Chris and race|if that was a bad thing]], what does that mean? And then on your way out you shouted "JEW" at him, what the hell was that about? And it sure didn't sound like he was being mean or anything like you said he would, he was just standing his ground. Can you explain to me your history with the Game Place a bit better? It feels like you might not be telling me everything.

And I encouraged you to stand your ground and settle your business peacefully and maturely. Instead, you shouted "JEW" and ran away after two minutes. Is that supposed to impress me? I'm going to let you know right now, this makes me mad. Do you have some kind of problem with jews? Maybe Snyder IS discriminating against you because you're autistic - but you just left after a few minutes? I thought you were going to be patient, do a sit-in, get the truth out of him. But at the first sign of resistance, you fled. You said "noble" was the one word you would use to describe yourself, but running away after two minutes isn't noble, it's childish. So now you don't KNOW that he hates you for being autistic. You also don't KNOW that he's a jew, either. Because you left in such a hurry, you don't know anything, you found out nothing. I think you need to go back and do this right.

I'll be waiting to hear from you,

Jackie}}

====Chris lies about The Game Place====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 13, 2010 - 2:44am<br>
That is very cool that you play the piano; are you pro with it, or do you play for fun? A football field for where you like to be, that's eat and interesting; is it because someone in your family is/was a football player, or maybe you were, or wanted to be, a cheerleader?

My [[mom]] was a cheerleader in her High School days; she kept her baton from then. Also, one game she was tackled by a football player; I forget if she ended up with a broken leg or something from that. I do remember that at her prom later on, she twisted her ankle doing the twist.

I do not think Chris Farley looks like me at all, plus he was a LOT more heavyweight than me, and he was more wild than me. Still, it is your opinion, and I respect you and your rights.

{{anchor|ban}}
Actually, I have nothing against any jewish people, or their faith, and I agree I could have done better then. I did not want to deal with the police, and Michael WAS calling them up. I was abused by such people in my past. One time, at F.S. years ago, they handcuffed me and dragged me to their office. This was just after the real-life incident with that girl who was working at the Starbucks Kiosk then (as told in [[Sub-Episode 2]] of my [[comic]]s). They dragged me in for overreacting to the situation and causing a disturbance with my shout of "NOOOOOOooooooo!" And later on, at the Target in Forest Lakes; S-E 7+8, Handcuffed, Dogpiled, Hog-Tied, Head-Rubbed Hard on the carpet leaving a the injury on the left side of my forehead and ended up with a record. The charge was "Soliciting". A trial was held, and thanks to my volunteer work at the [[Pok'emon]] [[TCG]] League I was doing back then, I was found innocent and released of the charge.

As for The Place History, I was going there for about 5 or 6 years for Pok'emon League, [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] Tournaments and Universal Fighting System TCG. I was a volunteer "Gym Leader" (with Second-In-Command in that title), because the main leader was Tony Wayne, Physics Teacher at Albemarle High School. I worked hard keeping the younsters under control, constructing decks from their scattered collections now and then, and being Gym Leader and distributing all stamps and prizes appropriately (more so when Tony could not make it some Fridays). Also happened then throughout, my thing with [[Megan Schroeder]]; farthest I got from her was an "I Love You" before she did an 180 and was scared of me for being too close; she and I were very close friends, and I was very sad to see the friendship fade away. [[Daniel Mimms]] and his accomplice, [[Lucas]], were good dudes, but then I later learned that they STARTED up that page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] against me; Lucas took that vintage photo of me in my green/purple stripe shirt while I was playing a round of TCG with a lad. That same Saturday, and at that moment, I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. That Should Have Been Me. After seeing them like that, I was nearly paralyzed with shock, and for a while, I was static in motion and speech like a robot.

I do not, and probably will never, understand why Michael hated me, but he had that attitude against me for quite some time before that Wii incident just before June, [[2008]]. The only things I can recall way back in the years that may contribute to his angst against me...

<br>-As Gym Leader, I was always early, and I set up the tables/chairs, and I go into the back area to get the Big Tub of League Stuff. Michael may have had issues with me going into the back, even for the simple retrieval of the League Stuff for the weekly setup.
<br>-One Friday, there was chaos going on; some of the players were not playing fair, some were roughhousing, some were just being too loud; I tried to calm things down and get things back in order, but it was just too much, and I exploded with a very loud, short yell. Such uproar may have frightened Mike as well.
<br>-Shortly after finding the [[ED|E.D.]] page in late October, [[2007]]; I was seeking help in taking that site down, and even finding the perps who took that picture of me that was on that page from that Friday (the one of me in the green/purple stripes). My family and I went to and sat down with Mimms and Lucas, because we had known from the detective work that it was between those two that picture was taken then uploaded onto E.D. I think Mike may have had a fright from that event; it was like the police questioning the suspect while he/she was in a single chair under a single lamp. He may have had his own scandals that would have lead him into that situation eventually or previously.

Another thing I should mention about him, the Friday in June, '08 I was banned from the store, my mother was with me; she was 66 then, but we three met together in the back. During the whole thing, HE did NOT offer my mother a chair to sit in, and there was only ONE in the back, while there were others that were set up for the League that was starting up that week. My mom made that clear and raised her own fit about that to Mike, and when talking to the later-arrived police officer.

That's all I have in my memory about that. I would not be surprised if Mike DID have such criminal charges or sins against him, and that only HE knows and lives with that. Still, he did NOT have to be such a cold-hearted S.O.B.

Sit-In or not, I did not want more trouble with the police than the two times I've had already. And I would never want to end up in Jail either; it would be just as terrible, or worse, as if I had ended up in that Winchester Mental Institution... Restricted from bettering myself in life, being alone for the rest of my life, and such other tortures.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Also, I work on Sonichu about 2 or 3 hours a day; I have not gotten it off of the ground yet. I have said before that I am currently on S.S.I. for my income, and I am looking to be employed at the new [[Wal-Mart]] here.

I'll TTYL, Sweetie. Stay Safe.

Love,<br>
Christian.}}

====Chris is still bitter about Megan, Jackie calls him out====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 13, 2010 - 7:04pm<br>
Hi, Chris!

I actually never was a cheerleader, I love playing football, though. I was never on a school team but I was a better player than half my school team in high school.

So, if you have no problem with jews, why were you talking about them? You screamed "JEW" at him like an insult, you didn't address that even though I asked you why you did it in my last email. You can't just say "I have no problem with jews" when your actions show you obviously do, Chris. Don't lie to me. It's not manly to lie to a woman you're trying to court, Chris. You made a lot of talk about acting like a big man and standing up for your rights here, but once you face a little bit of resistence ''[sic]'', you run away. So now you're not even going to try again? What did you think was going to happen, you'd win with absolutely no effort? What do you think a "sit-in" is? And you're in the right anyway, why would the police arrest you? I'm disappointed Chris, I think you need to go back and man up to your problem.

And what does it matter anyway if this Michael Snyder has criminal records or whatever like you speculate? What would that have to do with him keeping you out of the store? You shouldn't try to deflect the matter by smearing him, Chris. All you know about this guy is that he doesn't want you in the store, by your own admission you don't even know why. You don't know that he's a criminal. Instead of ask, you just assume again.

So why do you get social security? How much do you get each month? I thought you were getting sonichu published, but you only work on it a couple hours each day? What else do you do with your time? If you're getting paid by the government, you really should be trying to get on your feet, Chris. I heard about that new Wal-Mart, and it's good that you want to get a job, but why are you so set on applying there? It won't even be open for a few months, at least. There are plenty of stores and places that have jobs available now, why wait for Wal-Mart? I want a man who can take care of himself, Chris.

And Chris, why are you talking about some girl that you "should have been making out with" when you're writing to ME? That doesn't really make me feel too special. Are you still hung up on some other girl? Wasn't this YEARS ago? I really wish you would make up your mind, sweetie. I'm trying to make this work with you, but honestly you're making me worry about this racism and other stuff. Please quell my fears, Chris, because I really like you and want this to work.

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

====Chris lies furiously, hates the homos, fails at getting a job====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 13, 2010 - 11:17pm<br>
And I am sorry about that statement on [[Megan]]. That was years ago, and I have move on from her. I did not mean to sound hung up. Sometimes when I am recollecting on a hard time in my life, I am likely to feel again the emotions I felt back then, but those temporary relived emotions do not last long, and they mostly are not coherent with today. In this case, it was Definitely not coherent.

As for that "Jew" shout, I was feeling frustrated that I was not getting through with that man, and on the way out, I just shouted the first word that I had linked to him on my mind. It was a bad impulse, that is all. I assure you, [[Chris and race#Not a racist?|I am not a racist]] or anything like that.

The only hang-up I have, which is not a major one these days, is that I don't get along well with other [[JERKS|MEN]] in general. All of my life, I have been getting along better with women. That hang-up is why I don't have many dude-pals. Most of it comes from my homophobia, and the rest comes from my past detest of men due to them being A) Mostly Mean, Cruel and Vicious, and B) [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|Having taken all of the pretty women]] leaving me with none to choose from in my [[Sweetheart Search]]. I have tried making a few dude-pals in my church congregation, but that mental hang-up, mixed with my autism, prevents me from talking to them more.

Currently, I am getting 800 a month from S.S.I. And I AM working on self-publishing my books with Lulu; I have found on the site in the start of the project creation that it will cost me a bit to get it started. I will get it started. I am also working on resizing the pages to the appropriate page size. I have applied to a number of places in C-Ville; they never call me back for even an interview. I've applied to the [[C-Ville]] Wal-Mart, [[Target]], [[McDonalds]], Burger King, Barnes & Nobel and others. I am also applying to the new Goodwill in Ruckersville for a chance there. It is like I am being forced to wait.

I Really Like you too, Jacklyn. I can't stop thinking of you, and I do not want it to stop. I want you by my side, true love between you and I; I really want this romance to work very much too. You brighten up my life; you are a wind that renews me emotionally; you turn me on soo much, my wind-up key broke off. I want no fears between you and I; I want us to be a match made in heaven; I want you so much, Jackie. I Love You.

Stay Safe. XOXOXOXO

Christian.

P.S.

Just to check, are we going to meet at [[Fashion Square]] or the Downtown Mall Friday at 4?}}

====Jackie further calls out Chris's laziness====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 14, 2010 - 6:24pm<br>
Well, thank you for clearing that up, sweetie. I want to be the only girl in my guy's life. :)

But Chris, like I said, I have several friends that have published things on Lulu and other places, it's not that hard and it certainly doesn't take much time. You could spend an evening doing it and be done with it. I don't understand why you haven't been able to get this comic published, I mean, you've been writing it for years, and the farthest you've gotten with that is your website. And you quit updating on your site too, even though that's the one thing you've been using to build your comic, so that doesn't show that you have a whole lot of work ethic. Chris, I need to be with someone who has a stable career and goals. It's good that you're applying for jobs, but I really am having a hard time understanding why you don't use your CADD degree in getting a job. I mean, there are a lot of places out there that have use for graphic designers and that sort of thing.

XOXO,

Jackie}}

====Chris is meeting her====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 14, 2010 - 10:15pm<br>
Don't worry, Sweetie, I promise you that I will have the First Book published before this month is over, and I am capable of maintaining a strong work ethnic.

What is important right now is you and me. We are in sweet agreement with each other. I want to be your one and only too. I will meet you at Fashion Square by the Starbucks Kiosk Friday at 4:00; I will show you a pleasant and good time. :)

I will see you then; please don't be late.

XOXOXOXO,<br>
Stay Safe,<br>
Christian.}}

====Jackie asks for a video====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 15, 2010 - 7:39pm<br>
Hey, Chris!

We're still on for Friday, can't wait to see you!

Yeah, you say you have a strong work ethic, but... you haven't done much. Chris, 2 or 3 hours of day of drawing is not enough, Chris. Most people have to work 8 or more hours a day, but you're getting free money from the government to draw comics. That's pretty good deal, Chris. You should be working to earn that. Why exactly do you get that social security pay anyway?

But I don't want to rail on that... There's something else I want you to do for me. Remember when you told me about how confident you were in your [[sex]]ual abilities? Well, I'm curious how you would treat a lady, you know... orally. What sort of techniques would you use? Would you get right down in me? Show me, I need to see. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I was wondering if you could make a video showing me a little preview. I have a date with the bubble bath tonight and I'd really love to settle down and enjoy a movie trailer of our first time together.

I hope I have your video before bedtime tonight,

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Chris fails at sexytalk====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 16, 2010 - 8:32am<br>
Ooh, I'm sorry I didn't get the request sooner; I was busy, and I hit the hay around midnight. But orally, I would come right down on you. I would lick your pussy like it was an ice cream cone; I would give you some finger-play too. With that, I'll let it be a pleasant surprise that we can place at the apex of our date tonight. ;)

I'll see you at the mall's Starbucks Kiosk this afternoon. The sweet things come to patient ladies.

Call me on my cell if you have any concerns (434)-760-0848

Love You, Jackie.<br>
Christian.}}

====Chris stood Jackie up====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 16, 2010 - 6:02pm<br>
Chris, where were you? I waited for an hour but you never showed up!

And, you know, just because I'm a little kinky in our emails doesn't mean that we were going to sleep together on our first date. What kind of girl do you think I am?

Where were you? I was all alone...

Jackie}}

====Chris denies it====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 16, 2010 - 6:20pm<br>
I should be asking you where you were; I arrived at Fashion Square at 3:30 PM, parked in one of the two Belk parking lots, and waited at a table at the Starbucks Kiosk in the Middle of the Mall. I waited an hour for you. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding in communication. I gave you my cell phone number; I was also hoping you'd call me to at least let me know where you were.

I think of you as a very sweet, honest and playful woman.

Please call me on my cell, so we can better establish communication and reset the date. I am sorry you felt lonely; I felt lonely too.

My heart still yearns for you, Sweetie.
XOXOXOXO
Christian}}

====Whine, whine, whine, date is rescheduled====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 17, 2010 - 4:25am<br>
I was praying that I'd hear back from you last night; I feel a bit crestfallen from not getting a call from you. I gave you my cell phone number three times now (434-760-0848). I still would like that date with you; perhaps this afternoon we can have another swing at bat on this.

Let's make sure we're clear this time: Today, the 17th; Fashion Square Shopping Center; at the Starbucks Kiosk in the middle at a table in front of the kiosk; 4:00 PM.

If I do not hear back from you on my phone before 2:00 PM, we will reschedule the date for another week.

I'll TTYL.<br>
XOXOXO<br>
Christian.}}

====Jackie continues to rail on Chris====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 17, 2010 - 8:00pm<br>
Hey, Chris.

Sorry, I haven't been able to call you. I have a pay-as-you-go phone and can only use it for emergencies (my parents would kill me if I used it). I have some family stuff to do today as well as homework, I wouldn't have been able to meet today anyway. Don't worry, we can set it up for next weekend or something. But before I see you, I'd love to see that video I requested... tonight, if you get this soon enough. :)

Although I'll admit, I was disappointed when you didn't make it for me. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but Chris, you don't really seem to work on your comic, or anything else, either... I'm starting to see a scary pattern here. I need you to show me some evidence that you actually WANT me, Chris. Because so far you don't seem to want much of anything. I want a man with ambition, Chris. You know just where to start showing me :')

Waiting to hear from you,

~ ~ Jackie}}

====Chris won't make the video, points Jackie to the CWCki. The beginning of the end====

{{quotebox|Chris
April 18, 2010 - 2:32am
I am most capable of coming to you. So I'm thinking you can fill me in on where in [censored] I can find you: the address there, and I'll come to you this week. Or I will also accept the address of your C-Ville home, and I'll come to you there next weekend.

Also, as much as I'd like to make a sexy video for your viewing pleasure, I can't, because it would put YOUR Safety from my Trolls at risk. I have made similar videos in the past for a few of my ex-online-girlfriends. I had uploaded them onto a Mega Upload site, thinking it would be safe, and only She would see them. Alas, I was WRONG. My trolls Found them; my PC has been bugged sometime in the past, so it is likely my PC's online-linked actions, such as uploading, are being watched. I care about you too much to risk your safety.

With that, I can refer you to ONE Troll Site, dedicated to me, where tose mistakes were recorded, and sme to all of those vids may be displayed. I still regret embarassing myself like I did, originally for One; fated to Most... Google "[[CWCki]]", and find the past girlfriends. I warn you, the language is obscene, and they warp the truth and add exaggerated lies, yet there lies within some truth I would confide admittance and clearification to you, Sweetest Jackie.

I do not want to lose you, and I really and Truly Want and Love You, Jacklyn [censored].

Love,<br>
Christian.}}

====Jackie learns the truth====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie
April 18, 2010 - 5:48pm
Hey, chris.

Besides, my weekdays are extremely hectic, I just wouldn't have the time to see you during the week.

So, I am reading up about these past girlfriends of yours on that cwcki site. What exactly is it that you wanted me to see? Because I'm reading a lot of things I don't like. Like, you had this Australian girlfriend named "[[PandaHalo]]", the site says that she was [[rape]]d by someone, and you promised that you would always love her regardless, but like two days later you heard there were fires in Australia, and you just assumed this girl was dead? And you didn't even check to see if she was or not, you just jumped immediately to [[Julie|some other girl]]. What would happen if I got hurt? Would you just jump to the next girl you saw, without caring about me at all? And then there was another girl named [[Ivy]], who you cheated on??

And that Panda girl, the article says something else that worries me: it says that she promised to come to you if you were willing to prove that you could make your comic a success, but you refused to do it, and just let her go. Are these all lies like you say, Chris? Because I'VE been trying to get you to show me that you actually WORK on something or have some kind of drive, but you don't show me anything, either. So which part of that website is lies and which is true? How am I to know?

Chris, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I ask you to send me a video - not upload one to youtube, just send it to me - and you won't do it. I ask you to prove to me that you actually spend your day working on something, and you won't do it. I like talking to you, Chris, and I would still like to meet you, but right now I'm starting to doubt the attraction. Maybe we should start off as friends and see where it goes. What do you think about that?

~ ~ Jackie ~ ~}}

====Chris lies out his arse====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 18, 2010 - 6:20pm

Firstly, what you're describing from what you've read from the CWCki are among the false portions; their lies. PandaHalo was [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie]], the raped woman I have told you about earlier. After learning of the bushfires, I had assumed the worst. I tried contacting her by e-mail, but she had not responded in weeks. I did not "immediately jump to another woman"; I had wept and cried over the loss of Sarah for weeks before I could move forward. I would be totally depressed if you died, Jackie, I WOULD CRY AND CRY AND CRY, and it would take me loong over a month to feel I could move on with my life again.

As for Ivy, I did not cheat on her. She and I did have our own romance for a while, but later on, my father and I met with a Charlottesville Detective. He found NO records on Ivy OR her family, and her father was supposedly a Police Officer. Then I started suspecting she was a troll, and I stopped communication for like three months. Then she calls me back to try to restart the relationship; I hesitated and felt unsure. I later learned she committed suicide by hanging herself. I cried for her too. I never have cheated on Ivy; that is a lie they made up.

I am starting work on clarifying and sorting out the truths and lies from those pages and posting the True stories in my own honest words.

I can not send you a video for A) the troll risk, and B) There is a Size Limit on my E-Mail account, and a video would be way too big. And I assure you, I am very ambitious and serious about our relationship. I do not want there to be ANY Doubts between us. Please believe me. I get a ton of mental stress worrying about your safety, trying to keep our relationship strong, and making sure I don't lose you. For you, I am most capable of coping with these and a lot more. I Love You, Jacklyn, and I do not want to lose you.

XOXOXOXO<br>
Christian.}}

====Jackie knows Chris cheated====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 18, 2010 - 7:37pm<br>
Chris, they're not lies. You're lying to me right now! Why do you not think I'd discover the truth? You DID cheat on Ivy. Don't you ever try and lie to me about anything on that site. I know you're lying about the Ivy thing because I'm sitting here watching a video where you apologize for it. Who was Vanessa? The cwcki says you had cyber-sex with her or something while you were professing your "love" for Ivy. There are tons of videos of yours on that site. Don't you dare lie to me about anything on that site. A lot of things they say come right from stuff you yourself say and do in videos YOU make. They can't fake that. And they say that you went to a girl named Julie after only a day or something after Panda died, all around [[January 2009]]. I mean, you say how much you love Panda in a video in late January and you start promising your heart to Julie in the beginning of February, that's hardly "loong over a month". Did you really care about any of these girls at all?

And another thing, I asked you to give me a reason why you are on social security (a strong 28-year-old man in the prime of his life should be able to work) and you just avoid the question. You say that it's hard for you to find a job, even when you apply lots of places - and that's understandable, it's difficult for a lot of people to get jobs these days. But come on, you live at home with your parents. Being unemployed doesn't explain being on welfare. How long have you been on welfare? Why does a strong, smart, capable man need welfare?

As for the video, those are all excuses. You could upload a video to a secure site like mediafire and just send me the link, no one would know about it. You keep bugging me to call you but when I ask you to do something you just make excuses. Don't make excuses to me, Chris. If you actually want this to work, then PROVE it. Stop telling me why you can't do things and DO something.

Jackie}}

====Chris "forgot" he cheated on Ivy====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 19, 2010 - 10:37pm<br>
I apologize for bringing up excuses, and I was wrong about that cheating thing with Ivy; I had forgotten that portion. I was IMing with a "[[Vanessa Hudgens]]" for a new while (I had talked with "her" before). "She" was trying to rile me up with heavy flirting and sexual lines. I held my ground for a long time, for Ivy's sake. I caved in one time. And I later made that video admitting that wrong and apologizing to Ivy for it.

Another sad fact, "Vanessa" turned out to be really [[Joshua Martinez]], an ex-friend of mine. I am still angry at him for deceiving me like that pretending to be the famous singer/actress.

It was a shot in my own foot leading you to the CWCki; I really do not want there to be any doubt or such between you and me. I felt I had to show you what had happened to me before when I shared such sexual vids upon request from each of my exes. I had not heard of Mediafire, so I have just recorded a video; half with the apology I just described, and half of a brief description on how I would pleasure you orally. ;)

<nowiki>http://www.mediafire.com/?yz1jk3omwj5</nowiki><br>
<nowiki>http://www.mediafire.com/file/yz1jk3omwj5/</nowiki> [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]

Please let me know when you have successfully downloaded the file to your computer, then I will remove it from the Mediafire server for safety reasons. I pray that I do not hear of this video being on any Troll Site.

And with all this, I would very much like to start over on our lovey emotions and all. I Love You, Jacklyn [censored]. :-*

XOXOXOXO<br>
Stay Safe,<br>
Christian.}}

====Chris called Jackie Ivy, Jackie responds====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 20, 2010 - 2:30 pm<br>
Wow, Chris, I don't really know what to say.

So, your explanation for why you cheated on Ivy was because another girl was hitting on you? You loved Ivy, but another girl came onto you, and that's all it took? What if we're together and another girl comes onto you one day? Are you just going to cheat on me, too? You say you "resisted as long as you could", but you didn't resist at all, really. If you had resisted you could have told her to leave you alone or blocked her or something. Why was the temptation so great, anyway? Every time I have had a boyfriend, I've been hit on by cute guys. But I never had the urge to cheat on my boyfriend, because our relationship was way more important than just fucking some random hot guy. Did you not care about your relationship with her, or what?

And Chris, in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], you call ME Ivy. Right about three and a half minutes in, you say "seriously, IVY, I really do want you." What the fuck is that? Why the fuck did you call me Ivy?

And don't bother telling me that it's because you were thinking about Ivy since the subject came up, and you just got the names confused. Because while that may be true, all it shows is that you don't really see much difference between me and Ivy. You know, I'm glad that I haven't met you in person yet, that we haven't gotten that close yet. Because if we were in an actual relationship then what you did would be FUCKING DEVASTATING to me. So please stop telling me that you "love" me, because obviously you don't. Love takes time to build, Chris. Maybe you would know that if you didn't just tell me you love me because you think it's what I want to hear. You confused me with your ex-fucking-girlfriend, for christ's sake. Are girls just all the same to you, or something?

I'm glad that you made a video for me, finally. But maybe in your next one you can think of a way to explain to me why I should believe you even care about me at all. Or, if you don't really care about me, you can just admit it, but maybe at least get my name right.

Oh, and you still haven't answered my question about why a strong-willed, able-bodied man in his late 20's lives with his parents and collects free money from the government. You're getting really good at dodging that one, makes me think you don't have a good explanation. There's this article on the cwcki: [[Chris and money]]. It says a lot of bad things about your idea of income. But if you want to prove you care about me, I'd like you to give me an answer, finally.

Jackie}}

====Chris attempts to justify himself====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 20, 2010 - 2:05am<br>
To answer your questions, I am [[Don't Mess With Me|more stable]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|now a]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|days]], and I assure you that I would not fall for such flirtatious methods as that one time. I did mean to say Jackie in that [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]], and I apologize for the error. And for the question of why or how I can still live in the lifestyle I am living, I can't really say. The only thing that I feel is likely holding me back is, among other things, the "Ritualistic" trait of [[Autism]]. It just has set me off and on with routines, and with that, my house I am living in, with my seinor citizen parents, is like the home base of my routines. It is a MAJOR adjustment for me to make such heavy changes cold-turkey. That's just the way I am at this point in my life.

I answer your questions with care, and I also say the following out of care and due respect...

Obviously this relationship is not working out, and it is MY fault that it has been going downhill. I should not have mentioned anything about the CWCki, or my [[internet]] business. Referring to the CWCki, a Troll Site, to back up my point of how they wrongfully found and downloaded videos from sites like MegaUpload. BTW, I checked, 25 other people downloaded the video I sent to you; the file is deleted now, but now I fear the trolls now have another piece of wood for their fire.

With all that, I feel it's probably for the best you and I went back to our separate ways. I want you to know that I deeply appreciated your genuine kindness, compassion and sweetness; it made me feel better. And you are a very beautiful woman; I guess I wasn't good enough for you. Also, just to advise you, facial jewelry (from piercings) are okay, but I feel you would look better without them.

Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future, but until then, I bid you a blessing for good health and safety.

Peace,<br>
Christian W. Chandler.}}

====Jackie fires a final salvo====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 21, 2010 - 9:59 am

Hi, Chris.

Well, as for your [[Monthly tugboat|welfare money]], that (poorly) explains why you're still in it, I guess, but it still doesn't explain why you needed it in the first place. Not that it matters now, because apparently you value continuing to be someone who relies on welfare and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|who does nothing all day]] more than you value changing yourself to be the kind of man I would want. You won't put out any effort for me at all. I guess that shows how much you "love" me, eh? You throw around the word "love" like it's just a meaningless phrase. Which apparently, it is to you, because none of the stuff that usually comes with real love is evident here. For future reference, no girl is going to want to be with you if you are so averse to work and effort. Although from what I read on the cwcki, apparently I'm not the first girl to tell you that, so I don't expect you to listen this time, either.

And another thing. Do you pay attention at all to anything I say? I'm not mad because I saw the cwcki. I'm mad because you don't work, you don't change yourself, and because you tell me you "love" me all the while you won't show any effort when I ask you to, you repeatedly dodge my questions about your life because you know I won't like the honest answers, and YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME. That's all YOU, Chris. Don't blame that cwcki site for me not liking you. Don't blame others for your problems. Because I'm pretty sure that even if you had never shown it to me and I had no idea about your internet life, I still would have realized what a snaky little shyster you are being. So don't just assume that that dumb website caused the problem here, because it really annoys me that you are going to walk away from this thinking I'm so stupid that I would have fallen in love with you if not for the "lies" that some website told me. I'm capable of discerning fact from fiction, Chris. I can judge the truth for myself.

I was looking forward to a relationship with you, but you showed that you apparently aren't ready. Maybe if you showed me some effort I'd feel differently. maybe you shouldn't just give up on a girl you "love" the first time she gets mad at you. So you know what, Chris? Let me make this clear to you: I am still open-minded here. If you show me that you can behave like a man, then maybe we can have something.

Jackie

P.S. Don't worry so much about the other people that downloaded the video. It was just some of my girlfriends, I had to show them the guy who claims to love me and can't even remember my name. We have better things to do than put some stupid video up on the internet.}}

====Chris ends it all====

{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 21, 2010 - 8:38 pm<br>
I really did like you, Jackie, and I would have felt happy to awake next to you any day. But I wasn't in Love with you; I realize that, and I admit it.

Peace.}}

====It's not over yet!!====

{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 22, 2010 - 10:11 pm<br>
Wow, congratulations, you can tell the truth for once. How about you admit that you just wanted sex, and nothing else?

And actually, while you're at it, how about you admit that you don't really even want sex, because I was initially kind of into you, but when I ask you to do a little work to prove you actually care about something, instead you would rather just sit and play [[video games]] while collecting government money. And lie to me, because you wanted to fuck me without any effort. So video games are more important than a girl you love.

Oh, by the way, I changed my mind and uploaded your video to the cwcki. I did it to spread the word about you to other women to warn them, but then I realized that even if a girl is all over you, you still will ignore her so you can play video games. You probably don't even like girls.

Jackie}}

====Misrepresentation?!====
{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 22, 2010 - 10:30 pm<br>
Who the F*** Are You to criticize me and even slap an "Asexual" Label on me so quickly? I do not condone such misrepresentation. Good Day.}}

====Jackie is disgusted by Chris, because he's disgusting====
{{quoteboxred|Jackie<br>
April 22, 2010 - 11:15 pm<br>
You do not condone it? What are you going to do to stop me, play some more video games? That'll sure show me. You like video games better than girls. I bet if I had been a playstation asking you to work on your comic, you'd be all over it.

Jackie}}

====YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, WOMAN.====
{{quotebox|Chris<br>
April 23, 2010 - 2:35 pm<br>
You Do NOT KNOW ME, WOMAN. I Love Women OVER Video Games; I can not help my Social Problems from my Autism, or that I am one who misinterprets Social Cues, am sometimes unable to predict or understand the outcoming emotions or reactions to my actions. I can't help my own mental problems that sometimes misguide me.

<nowiki>*Ugh*</nowiki> Send your complaints to your "[[mailbag|Letters to the Editor]]" section.}}

==See also==
*[[Jackie E-mails]]
*[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
*[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
*[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie E-mails]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails|Jackie E-mails 1]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 3]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 02]]

Book10Replacement

2017-09-13T19:07:50Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211299 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

{{Quote|Have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife.|[[Mao]]}}

'''Book10Replacement''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, with the presentation style of the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris shows off the "[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|corrected]]" version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], something he claimed to have started on months prior.

Instead of being executed, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without access to the Internet and thus without the ability to troll. Mao gets a "mandatory chosen wife", even though real Amish do not practice arranged marriage and courtship is usually a private matter.<ref>[http://www.everyculture.com/North-America/Amish-Marriage-and-Family.html]</ref> [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] dies after crashing into a mountain, and [[Kathleen]] is imprisoned for marijuana possession.

The pages were done to appease [[Jackie]], who actually wanted something else entirely: knowing that Chris had promised Alec that the ending will eventually be replaced with something nicer than a hideous bloodbath, she wanted the comic to have a kinder ending, with a parade where Chris forgives [[Alec]] and [[Asperchu]] and acknowledges that they've tried to help him - just to demonstrate that Chris has actually gotten over this issue.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref><ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> Of course, his failure to do this, and the repeated lies that followed, turned out to be extremely telling.

These new pages are horrendously unfinished even by Chris's standards. None of them are colored and the majority of the action is textwalling. The dialog is appallingly dull even by ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' standards. One wonders why he even bothered. Eventually, these pages were completed and were finally published to [[Facebook]] on 13 [[September 2015]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Book10Replacement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w-1C9xN4dPc}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
| next = [[DrainedCreativity]]
}}

{{quote|He has been doing good being [[Christian Weston Chandler|the village idiot]] his whole life.}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' Wait- it is done! I can now reveal to you the true pages of which- replace the ones that were gory... and outrageous. Starting with page 90 where we end the trial.<br />
'''Sean:''' In our defense, we have a rock!<br />
'''Judge:''' I think we've heard enough. Jury?<br />
'''Jury:''' We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four!<br />
'''Judge:''' I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned!<br />
[''Next page'']<br />
'''Narrator:''' Meanwhile, in the D.C. Maximum Security Prison...<br />
'''[[Slaweel Yram]]:''' Eeheheheheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on [[CWCville|that city]] once again! I am Slaweel!<br />
[''Next page: Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.'']<br />
'''Slaweel:''' Urgh! ...Urgh! Dang it!<br />
'''Guard:''' Hahahaha! Another failed spell, 06960.<br />
'''Slaweel:''' Shut up!<br />
'''Guard:''' Anyway, you have a new cellmate.<br />
[''Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be [[Kathleen]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s woman love slave.'']<br />
'''Slaweel:''' Huh. So, what did they get you for, lady?<br />
[''Next page'']<br />
'''Kathleen:''' Hmm. Well, I think [''?''] as well, Slaweel. Anyway after the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent_Garbage]] building collapse, Jason and I made our escape. After we got away we had a fight, and he dumped me. He had caught me cheating on him with [[Beel|the secretary]]! I was distraught. I got and used- I went and got and used some... I got and used some [[Tobacky|marijuana]]... a lot of it. The police had caught me using it, I was tried, and now here I am. I heard Jason crashed into a mountain and died. That son of a [[Chris and censorship|*BEEP*]] got what he deserved. Trolling and torturing innocent people is [[Beel|devil]]'s work anyway! ...Hmm.<br />
'''Slaweel:''' Did you smuggle any MJ in?<br />
'''Kathleen:''' No, they frisked me and got all I had was from my breasts and up my asshole. [?]<br />
'''Slaweel:''' Oh.<br />
[''Next page: we see an extremely crude depiction of a horse-drawn carriage.'']<br />
'''Narrator:''' One month later, in the Amish community...<br />
[''Chris makes clopping noises.'']<br />
[''Next page: [[Mao]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] are dressed in Amish clothing'']<br />
'''Alec:''' Good day, neighbor Mao!<br />
'''Mao:''' Good day, neighbor Alec!<br />
'''Alec:''' How are you today?<br />
'''Mao:''' I had pleasant night's sleep, and my [[Women's rights|mandatory chosen wife]], she had... my mandatorily chosen wife. She had fixed a good [[Christian's sex joke|bacon and eggs]] with biscuits for breakfast! That is good.<br />
'''Alec:''' Yes it is.<br />
[''Chris hums a tune as we see Sean step on a rake lying on the ground and get whacked in the face. This joke is almost certainly "[[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]]" from [[The Simpsons]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Cape Feare|Cape Feare]]."'']<br />
[''Next page: The Amish trolls continue to talk.'']<br />
'''Alec:''' Well! Neighbor Sean has hit himself with the rake again.<br />
'''Mao:''' Yes.<br />
'''Alec:''' He has been doing good being [[Slow-in-the-minds|the village idiot]] his whole life.<br />
'''Mao:''' I agree!<br />
'''Alec:''' I am looking forward merrily to today's barn raising. Mrs. Baisley is making her famous... beans and bread.<br />
'''Mao:''' Oh! Ms. Baisley is making her beans and bread again? I enjoy her beans and bread greatly. I enjoy her good food with her delicious milk freshly squeezed from her teat.<br />
'''Alec:''' Yes, her bovine breasts give the best milk around, neighbor Mao.<br />
'''[[Evan Christopher George]]:''' Neighbor Mao? Neighbor Alec... you are mistaken! I am neighbor Evan.<br />
'''Alec:''' Oh dear! I am in error. Where is neighbor Mao?<br />
'''Evan:''' He has gone to the store for vittles.<br />
[''Next page: Mao is in the general store.'']<br />
'''Mao:''' Good day, shopkeep. I would like two pounds of black-eyed beans, ten carrots, fifty pounds of grain. Have you seen- And have you seen my [[Chandler Cats|pussy]]? She has run off attached to the teats of my [[Lovely Weather|lovely wife]].<br />
[''Next page: Same as the ending of the original [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]].'']<br />
'''Chris:''' And then the end of- the end of the story. And those are the replacement pages for book number ten. Thank you very much and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]|nextlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==Sources==
<references/>
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

2017-09-13T19:07:13Z

ChrisMommy: Undo revision 211321 by PenisPenisBumBumJellyOttetMakesMeCum (talk)

[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|250px|The Aqua Teens in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]. Notice Master Shake and Frylock on the table, and the caption "The bun is in your mind" was Meatwad's catchphrase from the ''Space Ghost: Coast to Coast'' episode that featured ATHF. Also visible is "Ce-Lad", a [[obesity|salad]] character created by Chris, according to [[Jackie Chat 2]].]]
[[File:Meat.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris's "Shredwud" [[gitar]], which he later sold to a [[troll]] on [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay]].]]
{{Quote|Aqua Teen Hunger Force is fun to watch, because it's so stupid.|[[Story of My Current Days|Just like someone we know.]]}}

'''''Aqua Teen Hunger Force''''' is an animated series on [[Adult Swim]] that later gained a cult following. It features low-budget bad animation, so it comes as no surprise to see that Chris likes it, even if he probably doesn't get many of the jokes.

Chris wasn't always a fan of the series. In a [[2005]] post on the [[Adult Swim posts|Cartoon Network forums]], he said that he enjoyed all of Adult Swim's shows "except ATHF," although he didn't explain why. He later started to like it, including the bizarre [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud]] music video. However, he seems to have gone off it around [[2010]] according to [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#Are_you_doing_anything.3F_.E2.80.94_21_January|Vivian Gee E-Mails]], comparing its decline to [[Alec]]'s "Blood and Gore".

Other mentions:
*Chris created the [[LittleBigPlanet_videos#CWC.27s_Aqua_Teen_Hunger_Force-Styled_Burgertime_Level|"CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled Burgertime Level"]] in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'', based on ''ATHF'' and the ''[[Wikipedia:BurgerTime|BurgerTime]]'' arcade game.
* The "Interfection" episode is heard playing during the [[CWC is Angry]] video.
*He owns the ''[[Wikipedia:Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am|Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am]]'' video game. According to the [[Cole Smithey E-mails]], he also owns the ''[[Wikipedia:Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters|Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters]]'' DVD.
*Chris's fondness for Boston's "[[CWC More Than A Feeling|More Than A Feeling]]" could stem from an episode where Carl calls it the "ultimate song."
* One of Chris's [[random access humor]] quotes was ''"Well get out of here. What are you waiting on? I'm gonna chase you outta here."'', which was originally spoken by Meatwad in the episode "Ol' Drippy."

==See also==
*''[[Family Guy]]''
*[[Random-access humor]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]