CWCki - User contributions [en]

Barbara Chandler

2010-01-19T21:35:46Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Cole and his possible fathers */

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|250px|Barbara holding <strike>[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]]</strike> [[Desi Chandler|Desi]] the cat.]]

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I don't need no back talk from someone on the internet.|Barbara, [[Mumble 2]]}}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 01 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the wife of [[Bob Chandler]] and terrible mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Appearance==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. When encountering Barbara, it is wise to use a Poké Flute.

Barbara's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

Barbara has no eyebrows, which has caused intense interest at [[PVCC (board)|PVCC]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1027&start=0 PVCC discussion on Barbara's lack of eyebrows]</ref>

==Cole and his possible fathers==

[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

Barbara grew up and raised Cole in Richmond near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash. She insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she was married, but records show that she actually married to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. To further fuel Cole's later rage, Yeatts visited them as a "friend" when Cole was a child.
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

During Cole's childhood, Barbara abused Cole along with her then-partner Jerry.<ref name="email07-03-06p1">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref> Then came Bob, who made Cole rage even harder with his mean-spirited Republicanism. Based on experiences with all these men, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The translation would be "She likes to date guys who curse a lot, and obsesses over them". The relevancy of her partners' vernacular is a little puzzling. He's probably just being sesquipedalian. What he was probably trying to say: "She tends to go clubbing with men of questionable stature".
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years.<ref name="email07-03-06p1" />
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
{{-}}
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

==Marriage with Bob==

[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker. Too bad physical appearance is genetic.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|persuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

Instead of accepting that their marriage isn't what it used to be, that they have different goals for their son in life and move on like any other healthy human being, she is either too lazy, poor, and/or unwilling to explain to Chris the intricacies of a divorce and its effect on a family dynamic, thereby putting herself in the inescapable rut she is in today.
{{-}}

==Pampering of Chris==

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his Oedipus complex ([[Mumble 10]])}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Barbara and Bob left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> As a result, Chris believes he is so irresistible to women that [[PandaHalo]] would not stop kissing him once she met him.{{cite}}

Barbara was Chris's date to his [[Manchester High School#Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].

She is extremely paranoid of Chris's online misadventures which, while ruining the fun for [[trolls]], does seem to indicate that she's not entirely stupid.

While having a special needs child is a major [[stress|stressor]] in any marriage, rather than getting genetic counseling and family therapy to cope with raising an autistic child, they've gone the old fashioned route of expecting little to nothing of Chris and treating him as an imbecile, with a modern "victim complex" spin, his entire life. This would have been understandable in the days before psychology - like when Bob was growing up - but nowadays it's known that even sufferers of Down syndrome can lead healthy and fulfilling independent lives if they receive supportive parenting and appropriate professional help.

==Recent health problems==

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.{{cite}} Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler's family diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly. Also, she <s>does not</s> has AIDS.<ref>[[9 October 2009]]</ref>

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans of Sonichu]] have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref>

==Audio appearances==

* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]]: In [[Mumble 2]], Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]], Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[November 2009]]: Toward the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2010-01-19T21:33:52Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Appearance */

The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog

2010-01-19T21:32:48Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* And Now, just because I feel like giving props, here are a few Favorite pieces of Good Fan Art. */

:''[[Blog]] redirects here. For the blog on the CWCipedia, see [[CWC Blog]].

On 13 September [[2008]], [[Chris]] started a Blogspot blog. The blog is one of Chris's shorter ventures, lasting only one month, most likely due to paranoia.

==13 September 2008==

===Episode 17===
<nowiki>**</nowiki>'''After Serious Consideration and numerous complaints, I HAVE REMOVED the explicit sexual pages from EPISODE 17 of Comic #8,
 And as GOD Promised NEVER again to Flood the earth with a [[Rainbow]] over Noah's Ark, I cast My Rainbow of Promise to NEVER AGAIN
 Draw or Upload any Further Images between [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] in EPISODE 18 of Comic #8, as well as ALL Future Comics,
that depict explicit sexuality.''''''
 I, Chritian Weston Chandler, Humbly and Sincerely, From the Bottom of my Heart, Apologize to EVERYONE who has read
 the 17th Episode before September 10, 2008, after the Waterloo of an Episode was uploaded on September 9, 2008.'''
 Thank you for your Patronage and Growing [[Fanbase]].** Also, after a good number of e-mails sent from my fanbase, I have removed the anatomy of [[Sonichu]] & [[Rosechu]] from the 17th Episode, and I have re-uploaded the two pages of Rosechu's sampling of Centerfold pics.
 Also, look forward to more similar pics in the side-project of that mentioned [[parody]] of "Pokeboy" magazine, that will feature sexy pics, and short biographies, of some of the female characters in bathing suits or [[Muscle bra|bra]]/panties featured so far in the world of Sonichu & Rosechu to further ensue my Peaceful Protest against the Slanderous [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|E.D.]] Page.
 <nowiki>**</nowiki>No Target date has been set for the one-issue magazine.**

===The Sonichu Group===
<nowiki>**</nowiki>The SONICHU Group on MySpace is OPEN, and ALL Sonichu Fans are Welcome to Join for FREE.**
Download the mp3 for CWC's Yellow Is A Mellow Color song. (Right-Click and "Save Target As")
Members of the Local Sonichu Fan Club of Charlottesville, Virginia are encouraged to join and post any suggestions for the group or CWC's Sonichu Site
and whatever else, in this new MySpace Group.

===And Now, just because I feel like giving props, here are a few Favorite pieces of [[Good Fan Art]].===


From [[Vivian G]].
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

From FillThisVoid
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

From [[Evan]] George
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
An inspiration behind the appearance of Official Sonichu Character, [[Simonla Rosechu]], Introduced in Episode 17.
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

From zorqueozwald, and Planned to be borrowed for the Cover for the First [[Comic]] Book of the upcoming Second Season.
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

From balsis
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

From little finch
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

Artist To Be Determined
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

Artist To Be Determined
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
If you would like to submit a Fan Art of your own, attach it in an E-Mail and send it to my E-Mail address; be sure to add your name in the message, or I'll use your E-Mail name.
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]
And if you are one of the "Artists To Be Determined" from one of these currently featured Fan Arts, please send me an e-mail with your honest name.
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎||]]

==20 September 2008==
===Thank you all, my Loyal Fans, for your concern and support===
I have been under a lot of stress and chaos from the internet bullies hacking into a bunch of my accounts. But rest-assured, I am safe, alive and well. I will have Episode 18 finished soon enough, with the target date being October to November.

All I ask of you now is not to call me via telephone, because that telephone number was acquired WRONGFULLY by the WRONG People, from whom you've might have acquired it from. They only posted it, just to get you TO call me and annoy me from that act. If you do not call, their dark power will dampen.

That ED page against me is as editable as a page on [[Wikipedia]]; do what you will to clean up their slanders.

The Mammoth Will Fly, with time to heal my wounds from the recent chaos.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.

==25 September 2008==
===Attention, Offical Chris Chan Update, September 24 and 25, 2008===
To all my Loyal Sonichu & Rosechu fans.

There is an IMPOSTER on this website called LiveJournal.com. Apparently, for a short while now, he has been using my name, under the disguise of "cwcsonichu". I have not even learned of LiveJournal.com, until yesterday, the 24th. Today, I have created the account of ChrisChan1982 on LiveJournal.com to set the record straight. The imposter also has played with the heart of my [[gal-pal]], [[Sarah Jackson]], and for her I can sympathise truly with her.

After the chaos Tuesday of Last Week, the 16th, I have lost contact with Sarah; I've tried to e-mail her, but Mailer Daemons came back in response. And between the chaos, and information on the ED page framing Sarah J to be fake, I didn't know what to believe.

But Thank [[God and Jesus]], my Guardian Angel from the other side of the world found me. She, a Good, Loyal, Honest Sonichu & Rosechu fan, got my [[YouTube]] and Facebook accounts for me, and, she was a real big help and the "Spoon full of sugar" I needed to "help the medicine go down" (lines from the movie, [[Mary Poppins]]).

Anyway, to verify who we honestly were to each other, we talked through our respective microphones over our IMs and HONESTLY HEARD each other's Voices. I know she is True and Honest from her voice. Her nickname is Danielsha; but she likes to be called Panda for a pen name. SHE IS NOT A TROLL; SO DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE OR FRAME HER.

Also, for the RECORD, I have asked the imposter on LiveJournal a question for his identity; HE ANSWERED WRONG.

FOR THE RECORD, Christian Weston Chandler's Very First [[Pokemon]] TCG Card is a Base Set, unshadowed **Charmeleon** card, that I have received Promotionally from the February, 1999 Issue of [[Nintendo Power Magazine]]. CWC's #1 Card! There it is, FOR THE RECORD.

Anyway, the imposter replied Holographic Pikachu; what a dumb bastard.

This has been another Official Chris Chan Update, from the man himself. Live long and prosper.

Peace,
Christian C.

==29 September 2008==
===September 29, 2008 Update===
Recently, Panda has broke up the romance in our relationship; I was saddened for a while, but I've recovered. We still talk to each other as Just Friends.

I would have gone back to being Single, if not for the Dream that I have been WAITING YEARS FOR since the dreams of my future [[daughter]] that I just Truly, Honestly Had. God and Jesus have revealed to me the name of my True, Honest [[Sweetheart]]-To-Be, in a basic situation that we have been chatting on the internet for a few months, then she came to Charlottesville to meet and be with me, and I went to meet her in the lobby of a local hotel she was staying at.

She KNOWS who she is, because I have Personally Informed Her. But I shall NOT reveal who she is yet, for the benefit of her Safety. But it WILL be made KNOWN at the End of Episode #20 in the [[Sonichu 9|Number 9 Comic Book]].

In other news, I am still working on finishing the Spring Break Episode, that should be finished by mid-October, if not before Halloween or November.

That's the update for today; Peace to all my Loyal, Patient Sonichu & Rosechu Fans.

Christian W. Chandler.

==15 October 2008==
===Sonichu Comic #10 Preview===
After recent events, I have randomly been inspired to draw up a set of pages that WILL OFFICALLY be saved to be put into the [[Sonichu 10|10th Comic Book]]. It's only 8 pages, but I mention the [[LittleBiGPlanet]] Level I put together in my BETA copy of the game. Also, my POWERS NEVER truly came from the Medal; they came from my High School Ring the WHOLE time. I wore the ring the VERY FIRST TIME I thought of Sonichu and from then on as well, so there is the FACT. And just a HUGE REMINDER; [[Jimmy Hill]] is a Thief and an Impostor; DO NOT BUY HIS IMPOSTOR SONICHU CRAP!

It has been planned for a while now, but PandaHalo's Chris Chan Sonichu Fan Art is SET to be the Official Cover for the #10 Comic Book.

That's the Update for now; enjoy the 8-Page Foretaste from the #10 Comic Book. And be sure to get a Playstation 3 (if you don't already have one) and a copy of LittleBiGPlanet to play at least the First Episode Sonichu Level that is Published on the L.B.P. Network NOW! COUNTDOWN to the Game's release on this Wednesday the 15th is Less than a Week, so RESERVE YOUR COPY NOW at GameStop for a Bonus Kratos Costume for Sackboy, or at BestBuy for a Bonus Nariko Costume for Sackgirl.

Peace,
Christian W. Chandler.

Also, JUST BEING STARTED, and FULLY APPROVED, is the Sonichu & Rosechu Fan Site at http://www.sonichu.net/fans/; ALL LOYAL Sonichu & Rosechu Fans Join this OFFICIAL PARTY!

==See also==
*[[MySpace]]
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[CWCipedia]]'s [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Captain%27s_Log Captain's Log], Chris's current blog

==External links==
*[http://sonichu-roschu.blogspot.com/ The blog]
*[http://chrischan1982.livejournal.com/profile The fabled chrischan1982 at LiveJournal] - still largely unused, despite of his claims about "setting things straight".

[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Imaginary family

2010-01-19T21:29:11Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* See also */

:''This article is about Chris's stupid imaginary daughter. For Chris's stupid imaginary twin sister, see [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]].''

{{quote|You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be Crystal.|Chris and his hilarious Freudian slip}}

[[Image:09-Crystal_Card.jpg|thumb|Crystal depicted as a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' character]]
[[Image:CrystalWestonChandler.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression. This is probably also Chris's impression. It is also the impression that no one ever wants to see become a reality.]]

Around the age of [[2003|21]], [[Chris]] had [[IRC (28 December 2008)|multiple]] [[dreams]] in which [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] told him to find a [[sweetheart]] to build [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|from the ground up]] to have his daughter Crystal, named after the illustrious "metal", according to him. In a custom ''[[My Little Pony]]'' trading card, Chris depicts Crystal as a pony who traveled back in time to help her father - Chris - find a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (which actually is Chibi Moon's entire premise in ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' - So yet another concept Chris has ripped off).

Most likely stems from Chris's desire for pedophilia plus to have a companion who will have to accept him and could understand him.

Early justifications for Chris's [[Love Quest]] stemmed from his desire to find a woman who would birth his child, but in recent events, Chris seems to be more [[honest]] in wanting a girlfriend so he can [[fuck quest|get laid]] or prove he's [[homo|straight]].

In a conversation with Chris's <s>sweetheart</s> <s>victim</s> ex-gal-pal [[Father Call|Kacey's dad]], Chris revealed that he had the "[[Godjesus|prophetic]]" dream about Crystal when he was seven to nine years old. He reiterates this later, saying he was "definitely in elementary school," when he dreamed about giving birth to a daughter (in the dream he had an office job, which also [[Resume|won't happen]]). "Give birth" slipped out, as in Chris would like to gestate a human female infant within his body, and somehow deliver her into the world.

While it's most likely that Chris just fucked up while talking due to [[stress]] and [[autism]], this could also suggest that Chris has some [[Homos|gender identity issues]], which typically begin in childhood.

==See also==
*[[Chandler (extended family)]]
*[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)]]

[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-01-19T21:27:39Z

ChristianWestonChandler:

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For Chris's fictionalized version of himself from the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For Chris's electric hedgehog alter ego, see [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. For [[Audiobooks|the time Chris temporarily gained weight and became stupid(er)]], see [[Sammy]]. For the <s>brown-striped impostor</s> real Christian Weston Chandler, see [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. For the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page Chris "Revised", see [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]''

{{Honest}}[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Our hero.]]

[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a perverse, [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and fame|delusional]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] white girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him. Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born "Christopher Weston Chandler," but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the bear conductor. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

[[Image:Ano de freshman.png|thumb|right|229px|"Freshman anus" — a prime example of Chris's mastery of the Spanish language. Presumably, he meant to write "año de freshman"; "freshman year".]]

Chris took Spanish in high school and has since decided that his Spanish nickname is "Ricardo" — this is justified, as many high school classes will encourage the students to choose Spanish nicknames which may not always match the student's real name. Hence, when speaking or writing in Spanish he will refer to himself as "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]" or "RWC." At times he will literally announce himself as "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}</center>

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob|his]] [[barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Wendy's|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or hardly anyone, actually).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2009, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the sexual maturity of a young adult male, and as a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this to such a degree that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. Surprisingly, this seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]].

==Early life==

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties.

Allegedly, an [[abusive babysitter]] who was alone with Christopher every day for years;<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> locked him in a room<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He identifies the locking as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to attend [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't seem to show any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl), because if a boy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance.

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris believes he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], the latter being the cause for his homophobia. It’s possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris institutionalized. Chris was home-schooled through 5th grade during these proceedings. When the family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education under a different school system, starting with 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" stare.
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of Young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

==Super Sonic winner==

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb||Evolution of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98' '99. Look at this creepy fuck, jesus]]

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll.

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris leveraging his autism for special treatment and his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of maturity. It has lead Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

{{clear}}

==Adolescence==

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that his "creative talents" were put to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his crying was the fact he had to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress mentally or personally at all, and remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that it's what helped him attract females. That his high-school gal pals have moved on and married real men with jobs is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''"Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Teenage CWC===
<gallery>
Image:0461-CWCWithCustomCookie.jpg
Image:0799-FlusteredChristian.jpg

</gallery>

==[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]==

Chris's entry into community college probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began putting great emphasis on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris was kicked out of PVCC for one year by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in 2004, although he eventually returned, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

==[[Love Quest]]==

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his Love Quest. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without approaching them or speaking to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique was to sit in one place (or pace back and forth) for hours, while holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with Mary Lee Walsh over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

{{clear}}

==''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''==
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|left]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]==
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]], an unusual woman in that she was willing to talk to him for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to consider Chris's obvious romantic pursuits. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and animé, believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, with which he planned to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

{{clear}}

==Discovery by [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]==
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of [[Sonichu]] on [[4-cent garbage]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris’s name to discover the picture’s author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto ED in October, 2007. His life was never the same again.

Chris completely mishandled his reaction to ED, beginning a series of videos [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|demanding the removal of the article]] about him on the site. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. ED's abuse of Chris only moderately abated when the site's users began to fight amongst themselves about whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of [[CWCki]], which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2010}}

Chris continues to live at home with his parents, living off the $750 [[monthly tugboat]] he receives from the federal government for his autism. He has grown increasingly withdrawn, as trolls have tempted him with the slim hope that there is a vast Sonichu [[fan base]] full of pretty girls who want to have sex with him if he will only stick things up his ass and masturbate over the Internet.

==See also==

* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-01-19T21:26:51Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Aliases */

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For Chris's fictionalized version of himself from the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For Chris's electric hedgehog alter ego, see [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. For [[Audiobooks|the time Chris temporarily gained weight and became stupid(er)]], see [[Sammy]]. For the <s>brown-striped impostor</s> real Christian Weston Chandler, see [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. For the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page Chris "Revised", see [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|left|Our hero.]]

[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a perverse, [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and fame|delusional]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] white girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him. Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born "Christopher Weston Chandler," but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the bear conductor. In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

[[Image:Ano de freshman.png|thumb|right|229px|"Freshman anus" — a prime example of Chris's mastery of the Spanish language. Presumably, he meant to write "año de freshman"; "freshman year".]]

Chris took Spanish in high school and has since decided that his Spanish nickname is "Ricardo" — this is justified, as many high school classes will encourage the students to choose Spanish nicknames which may not always match the student's real name. Hence, when speaking or writing in Spanish he will refer to himself as "[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]" or "RWC." At times he will literally announce himself as "'Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

==Overview==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}</center>

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's alright Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob|his]] [[barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Wendy's|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or hardly anyone, actually).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2009, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're trying to be tough negotiators.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the sexual maturity of a young adult male, and as a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this to such a degree that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. Surprisingly, this seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]].

==Early life==

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties.

Allegedly, an [[abusive babysitter]] who was alone with Christopher every day for years;<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> locked him in a room<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He identifies the locking as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to attend [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't seem to show any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl), because if a boy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance.

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris believes he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], the latter being the cause for his homophobia. It’s possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris institutionalized. Chris was home-schooled through 5th grade during these proceedings. When the family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education under a different school system, starting with 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" stare.
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of Young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

==Super Sonic winner==

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb||Evolution of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98' '99. Look at this creepy fuck, jesus]]

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll.

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris leveraging his autism for special treatment and his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of maturity. It has lead Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

{{clear}}

==Adolescence==

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that his "creative talents" were put to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his crying was the fact he had to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress mentally or personally at all, and remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that it's what helped him attract females. That his high-school gal pals have moved on and married real men with jobs is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''"Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Teenage CWC===
<gallery>
Image:0461-CWCWithCustomCookie.jpg
Image:0799-FlusteredChristian.jpg

</gallery>

==[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]==

Chris's entry into community college probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began putting great emphasis on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris was kicked out of PVCC for one year by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in 2004, although he eventually returned, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

==[[Love Quest]]==

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his Love Quest. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without approaching them or speaking to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique was to sit in one place (or pace back and forth) for hours, while holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with Mary Lee Walsh over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

{{clear}}

==''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''==
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|left]]
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==[[Megan Schroeder|Megan]]==
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]], an unusual woman in that she was willing to talk to him for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to consider Chris's obvious romantic pursuits. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and animé, believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, with which he planned to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

{{clear}}

==Discovery by [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]==
Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of [[Sonichu]] on [[4-cent garbage]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris’s name to discover the picture’s author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto ED in October, 2007. His life was never the same again.

Chris completely mishandled his reaction to ED, beginning a series of videos [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|demanding the removal of the article]] about him on the site. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. ED's abuse of Chris only moderately abated when the site's users began to fight amongst themselves about whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of [[CWCki]], which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2010}}

Chris continues to live at home with his parents, living off the $750 [[monthly tugboat]] he receives from the federal government for his autism. He has grown increasingly withdrawn, as trolls have tempted him with the slim hope that there is a vast Sonichu [[fan base]] full of pretty girls who want to have sex with him if he will only stick things up his ass and masturbate over the Internet.

==See also==

* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Dragon Ball

2010-01-19T21:22:29Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Not-so-original content */

<center>{{#ev:youtube|BYiVJZysDmI}}</center>

'''''Dragon Ball Z''''' is an [[anime]] that consists of a bunch of Aryan monkeys (Saiyan, in Moonspeak) on steroids <strike>screaming for a half hour, charging up their super powers then smacking each other like little girls</strike> spending time "training" and talking about how they'll be fighting 30 episodes later. Chris's "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]!" and "Shin-ye-ha-me-ha!" are a blatant rip off of "Kamehameha", an attack used in the series by the protagonist, Goku (sometimes by other characters as well) right before he kicks some ass.

Chris stole the ''Dragon Ball'' plot device from the series. If you gather all seven Dragon Balls, you are granted one wish. Chris, of course, ingeniously changed the name to "[[Sonichu Balls]]", probably thinking people wouldn't be able to tell the difference. It should also be noted that the phrase "bad luck and extreme misfortune" was ripped off from a line from an episode of ''[[Wikipedia:Rocko's Modern Life|Rocko's Modern Life]]''.

==Original content==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|1Uip2-_Y0bQ}}</center>

==Not-so-original content==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|RhB_bXaygu4}}</center>
<center>Chris even wishes peace upon the trolls he curses.</center>

<center><gallery>
Image:SchuComic1.jpg|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!
Image:SchuComic3Page32.jpg|The autistic trio!
Image:SchuSubE3P7.jpg|ORIGINAL ATTACK, DO NOT STEAL!
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]][[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-01-19T21:21:10Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Tail's (Lack of a) Role in the Comics */

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] is a shitty recolor of beloved hero and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's blatant plagarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] many sleepless nights.

Chris has based his life on Sonic's teachings from [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|AOSTH]]. He has been Chris's life hero since June 1990 [sic<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June 1991 - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be [[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]] by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and Rad Mobile was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>], replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog", involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat Robotnik, who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and Fame|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 911]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Megatron pistol|not to play with guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree.]] Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|decisions]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|to]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|enter]] [[Pixelated PS3|contests]] to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious, still-ridiculous psuedo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kid's cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the current cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokemon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|issue 0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, literally never even mentioned again.

==Tail's (Lack of a) Role in the Comics==
Chris has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckes and Shadow and featuring an autobot named "Prower." If his response in [[Mailbag 38]] any indication, it is possible Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by 13 year olds on Gamefaqs and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were [[homos|gay]]. According to Christian, Tails would be "[[Chris and Hypocrisy|inappropriate]]" for the comic.

[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 5 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with 20 years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|<s>Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day!</s> [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg

Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg

Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own unlicensed Sonic merchandise.
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.

Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[Kimmi|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces/Notes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Amy Rose]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Wikipedia article on Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic review of both cartoons]

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Obesity

2010-01-19T21:20:18Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Exercise */

{{Merge|Chris and Health}}
[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|[[Christopher Weston Chandler]]]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}

'''Obesity''' is an epidemic in America, with 64% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat. [[Chris]], [[Barbara]] and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial of his own obesity, despite the fact that he has been overweight since childhood. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]] when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle".

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command", even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the ghost command part. But that's a whole other problem.

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out everyday, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles, then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog—he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle.

== Actual weight ==
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200". During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 pounds.

Taking Chris's height into consideration (he claims to be 5'10"), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 pounds thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 to 175 pounds, but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.

Chris has probably asked his [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] about being fat, and being the coddling bitch that she is, more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight at one point told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In IRC, Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact, he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same reaction to being called gay. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then often times lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]], during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this is a proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself was forced to admit that Asperchu's "buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have man boobs, even though he has, in fact, been steadily gaining weight since High School. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu, rather than admit his more embarassing failures the series parodies.

The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us can see would make [[GodJesus]] cry.

There is also convincing evidence that Chris has difficulty recognizing the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu 7]] - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_7/Page_25 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Furthermore, [[Blanca]] was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.

==Places where Chris likes to eat==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
* [[51 50]]
* [[Muscle bra]]
* [[Sonichu's Edge]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

A Week With Christian Chandler

2010-01-19T21:19:23Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Page 4 */

"'''A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary)'''", more commonly known as "'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''", is a school report that [[Chris]] wrote to document one week in his [[high school]] life. (The week documented is 29 April 2000 through 5 May 2000, although Chris gives the report a copyright date of 24 April 2000, thanks to his [[autism]].) Many events are covered during these seven short days, but the most significant among them must be the creation of the cover for [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]], on which [[Sonichu]] made his first-ever appearance.

The information contained within Chris's report provides valuable insight into his early years, chronicling the development of some of his current hobbies and habits. As just one example, he openly admits to falling asleep during his classes on a regular basis, foreshadowing his future inactivity and overall laziness post-college. Chris seems to have been enrolled in basic behavioral-adjustment classes, including a "coping class/study hall", but he evidently spent all of his time in these classes reading young adult books by R.L. Stine instead of paying attention.

Interestingly, Chris refers to some of the other students on his school bus as "[[slow-in-the-minds]]". It's not fully spelled out whether these were bullies or other special-needs students, but the fact that Chris mentions dreading the bus (combined with a later reference to "immature teenage boys") suggests the former. Either way, Chris's high school years couldn't have been as pleasant as he's portrayed them ever since.

==Reproduction of The Official and Originial Text==

===Cover===

[[Image:406-WeekWithCWC.jpg|thumb]]

'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''

[Photo: Chris, dressed as Ash Ketchum, poses with the now-deceased [[Patti Chandler]]. Out of focus and overexposed.]

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

{{-}}

===Page 1===

[[Image:407-CWCWeekP1.jpg|thumb]]

<poem>
''A Week With Christian Chandler''
''(A Self-Documentry)''

''© 4/24/2000''
''April 24, 2000''

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

''Chandler's Publishing Co.''

''Now:''
''6008 Partingdale Cr.''
''Richmond, VA 23224''
''(804)-674-9474''

''As of 6/20/2000:''
''46 Branchland Ct.''
''Ruckersville, VA 22468''
''(804)-990-0198''
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 2===

[[Image:408-CWCWeekP2.jpg|thumb|left]]

Saturday, 4/29/2000:

On our 1st day of following Christian, we followed him as he was getting ready to go to the Pokemon Trading Card Game League at Books-A-Million. All ready to go, Christian and his mother leave for the League. On the way, they stop at B.P. gas station, so Christian could fill his sports bottle with some refreshing soda pop. After Christian enters Books-A-Million for the League, he sees someone with a rare, holographic "Team Rocket" Dark Raichu card. So he offers all his tradable holo rare cards and non-holo rare cards, but the boy did not want to trade his Dark Raichu card. After signing in with Marc, the Gym Leader, he trades a few cards, then he plays many card games. Much later, because of the release of the Team Rocket cards, now available in stores, a party was held with games and prizes. We watched as League members played a Musical Poke Ball game. A costume contest was also held; 5 people came dressed as Team Rocket members. But Christian was wearing his Ash get-up, like he usually wears every Saturday; it was originally a Halloween costume, but he thought of it as also a formal item to wear for the League. So, he entered and won 1st prize, a cool T-shirt. After receiving the T-shirt, he left for home so he could go to Ruckersville before it became dark.

{{-}}

===Page 3===

[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris, seated on his bed, holds up a number of Pokémon trading cards. Chris is shot against the light. The print is underexposed.]

- Christian is getting ready to go to the Pokemon TCG League at Books-a-Million.

[Photo: Chris stares down a younger opponent, about to put his last card into play.]

- Christian is playing a round of Pokemon with a fellow Trainer.

[Photo: Several young League members are playing a variation of Musical Chairs.]

- The League members are playing a round of Musical Poke Balls.

{{-}}

===Page 4===

[[Image:410-CWCWeekP4.jpg|thumb|left]]

[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Sunday, 4/30/2000:

On the 2nd day, Christian woke in his country home in Ruckersville. He helped his mother by moving heavy and light boxes, furniture and stuff from the van to the house, and house to workshop. Afterwards, they loaded the van, got ready to leave and left for Richmond. On the way, they stopped at Country Cooking restaurant in Orange County for lunch. Later, they returned to Richmond, and re-unloaded their van. But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville.

{{-}}

===Page 5===

[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's bedroom appears cluttered, yet cleaner than it's been of late. Out of focus.]

- This is Christian's Country Room.

[Photo: [[Barbara Chandler]], looking remarkably slim, is carrying a box. Shot against the light.]

- His mother is bringing in the last box from the van into the living room.

[Photo: Chris's soon-to-be-former living room is completely littered with junk. ]

- This is more stuff in the City living room to bring back to Ruckersville later.

{{-}}

===Page 6===

[[Image:412-CWCWeekP6.jpg|thumb|left]]

Monday, 5/1/2000

On the 3rd day, Christian spent an "ODD Day" at Manchester High School. The 1st class he went to was his English class with Mr. Goss. During class, Mr. Goss discussed the difference between Shakesphere's world and the real world of today. Christian rested his eyes after Mr. Goss's discussion, and before the bell rang. Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was. Next was Computer Graphics...it was great for him today, because he got to print his own CD cover. Next was Spanish 2...he took a quiz today, but I think he feels confident in his work. And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "slow-in-the-minds" on it.

{{-}}

===Page 7===

[[Image:413-CWCWeekP7.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Two teachers are sitting in a classroom, having a chat. Chemical smudge and fingerprint in print, likely a result of putting a dirty photographic paper on enlarger.]

- Mr. Goss is chatting with his fellow teacher friend.

[Photo: The cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] has just been printed.]

- This is Christian's CD cover after print, in the process of cutting.

[Photo: Three Chesterfield County school buses await their students.]

- These busses are full of nutty "[[Christian Weston Chandler|slow-in-the-minds]]."

{{-}}

===Page 8===

[[Image:414-CWCWeekP8.jpg|thumb|left]]

Tuesday, May 2, 2000:

On the 4th day, we follow Christian on an easier school day, an "Even Day." 1st, he went to English class...he cruised on a "Zzzz," while starting to read a "Dollhouse" story. 2nd was Photography class, but with the immature boys, and getting up to develop photos, he never falls asleep in that class. 4th was Contemporary Living. Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry. Which brings up lunch; on an odd day, Christian eats alone, but on even days, he is with friends: Tiffany, Sarah, and Brian. Brian was not there today; he went on a field trip to D.C. 6th was Coping/Study Hall. During the free time in this class, Christian likes to get into a good book. And at 1:30, our hero leaves for home on...that bus.

{{-}}

===Page 9===

[[Image:415-CWCWeekP9.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris discusses a class assignment with one of his teachers.]

- Mr. Bayuk and Christian are looking over a test strip for proper time length check.

[Photo: Chris is eating lunch with two of his best gal-pals.]

- Christian is eating lunch with Tiffany and Sarah.

[Photo: Chris has his nose in the spine of R.L. Stine's [http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/in-too-deep.htm ''In Too Deep''].]

- Christian is reading an [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] novel during Coping class.

{{-}}

===Page 10===

[[Image:416-CWCWeekP10.jpg|thumb|left]]

Wednesday, May 3, 2000:

On the 5th day, we decided to take a break from lugging the tripod around at Christian's school. But instead, we will observe the daily activities the he does at home. He likes to play his video games (i.e. Pokemon, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc....). He also likes to go onto the internet to browse for new Poke News articles and to check the status of visitors (or he updates) his website, CWC's PokeSite 2! He also likes to go swimming at the [[Gay|YMCA]] pool; he needs to cool off after a hard day anyway. He also likes to sort and look through his book of Pokemon "Trading Card Game" cards and his decks. And he also likes to express himself in his art. Then later, he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, say "good night" to his parents, watch a little TV, then he goes to bed with music to relax to.

[Photo: Chris is sitting in his bedroom, playing Pokémon. Severely underlit.]

- Christian is playing Pokemon Stadium for Nintendo 64.

{{-}}

===Page 11===

[[Image:417-CWCWeekP11.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sitting on his bed, looking over his Pokémon cards. Shot against light.]

- Christian is checking on his cards in his book and decks.

[Photo: [[The Wall of Originals]], only 1/4 complete, is already huge.]

- This is Christian's "Wall of Original Pokemon Cards."

[Photo: Chris's cluttered room features an early version of CWCville. Underlit, probably slightly out of focus.]

- This is Christian's City Room.

{{-}}

===Page 12===

[[Image:418-CWCWeekP12.jpg|thumb|left]]

Thursday, May 4, 2000:

On the 6th day, we followed Christian, and photographed the achievements of Christian and his friends. 1st, we noticed on the wall of the Cafeteria hallway were posters from Computer Graphics classes; one was his, and we photographed it. Next, in Christian's Contemporary Living class, he, Tiffany and Sarah were fixing filled pasta shells, garlic bread and a salad. [[obesity|Christian did not have any salad]]; lettuce or tomatoes (and a few other vegetables) alone makes him feel green in the face. But After the bread and pasta shells were done (Christian and Sarah made the shells together) they all enjoyed a little something Italian. And during Photography class, [[Sex|he mounted a photo of his mother]] (he took and developed it himself) and later colored it.

{{-}}

===Page 13===

[[Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's "busy" Computer Graphics poster reads "Computer Graphics... Make some neat-o stuff!" and has "CWC" slapped ''six times'' all over it. The right edge of the print is underexposed, though this is barely noticeable.]

- Christian's Computer Graphics poster has a lot of Pinball action.

[Photo: Two of Chris's best gal-pals are eating the salad that they made.]

- Sarah and Tiffany are enjoying their green salad.

[Photo: A photo of Barbara Chandler has been set in a cheap homemade frame. Corner and - in a failure so grand that it's reserved for professionals alone - a band in right side of the print is underexposed. How Chris did this, we'll never know.]

- This "Mother of the Year 2000" Award will be presented to Christian's mother on the Mother's Day of 2000.

{{-}}

===Page 14===

[[Image:420-CWCWeekP14.jpg|thumb|left]]

Friday, May 5, 2000:

On the last day of our week-long journey, we followed Christian through one tough Friday. Christian came to school wearing a dress shirt and pants, a tie, and his cap and gown were in the bag. He went to English class, and took a vocabulary quiz. After the quiz, Christian signed the Senior Memory Book of his friend, Miranda Mitchell. During Trigonometry class, he took notes on SSA triangles and the Sine formula. Then in Computer Graphics class, he sketched an idea for a self portrait, and it suited the requirements. But, he'll have to wait till next class, because he needs a couple of his "home files" to start him off. In Spanish 2, he started on a test, but he did not finish it, because he had to go for the Senior Group Photo. Christian had to walk down a mile-long hill to the football stadium, and when he got there, he put his stuff down in the entrance, put on his cap and gown, and went to join the group of seniors. After the long wait for the pictures to be taken, being crowded like a sardine surrounded by immature teenage boys, and having the hot, hot sun shining down on him and everyone else, he went back to the shady entrance. He got his stuff, and on the way back up the hill, his bus driver drove down to tell him that she called his father and told him about Christian and the photo shoot taking so long. So Christian walked back up the hill, he became tired and sweaty. After he entered the school building, he rested in the open commons for a few minutes. Then he buzzed for his father to pick him up, got ready to go, chilled out, and got picked up by his dad. And that concludes our week-long documentary of...A Week With Christian W. Chandler, the autistic boy that has made it this far. :)

[Photo: One of Chris's gal-pals is seated at a desk. Out of focus.]

- Miranda's first reaction to Christian's nice message.

{{-}}

===Page 15===

[[Image:421-CWCWeekP15.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sipping from a can of Dr Pepper.]

- Christian is getting started on his lunch.

[Photo: Chris is sitting at a long table, looking exhausted. Somewhat badly lit, as Chris's face is in shadow.]

- Tired and sweaty from the mile-long climb in the hot sun, Christian rests for a few minutes.

[Photo: Chris organizes his many Pokémon cards in his room. Extremely underexposed print, the right corner almost completely unexposed.]''

- Christian is preparing his decks for the Pokemon TCG League tomorrow.

{{-}}

===Page 16===

[[Image:422-CWCWeekP16.jpg|thumb|left]]

<poem>
A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary).

Christian W. Chandler.
4/24/Y2K
Photo., 2.
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 17===

[[Image:423-CWCWeekP17.jpg|thumb]]

''Christian's Parents.''

[Photo: Bob and Barbara Chandler pose together, nearly managing to look happy. Barbara is wearing a shirt with the logo of First North American National Bank. ''Finally,'' a well-lit and mood-evoking photograph... gloriously enlarged on dusty paper.]

''Robert F. Chandler. Jr.'' 
''Barbara W. Chandler.''

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

A Week With Christian Chandler

2010-01-19T21:18:43Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Page 4 */

"'''A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary)'''", more commonly known as "'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''", is a school report that [[Chris]] wrote to document one week in his [[high school]] life. (The week documented is 29 April 2000 through 5 May 2000, although Chris gives the report a copyright date of 24 April 2000, thanks to his [[autism]].) Many events are covered during these seven short days, but the most significant among them must be the creation of the cover for [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]], on which [[Sonichu]] made his first-ever appearance.

The information contained within Chris's report provides valuable insight into his early years, chronicling the development of some of his current hobbies and habits. As just one example, he openly admits to falling asleep during his classes on a regular basis, foreshadowing his future inactivity and overall laziness post-college. Chris seems to have been enrolled in basic behavioral-adjustment classes, including a "coping class/study hall", but he evidently spent all of his time in these classes reading young adult books by R.L. Stine instead of paying attention.

Interestingly, Chris refers to some of the other students on his school bus as "[[slow-in-the-minds]]". It's not fully spelled out whether these were bullies or other special-needs students, but the fact that Chris mentions dreading the bus (combined with a later reference to "immature teenage boys") suggests the former. Either way, Chris's high school years couldn't have been as pleasant as he's portrayed them ever since.

==Reproduction of The Official and Originial Text==

===Cover===

[[Image:406-WeekWithCWC.jpg|thumb]]

'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''

[Photo: Chris, dressed as Ash Ketchum, poses with the now-deceased [[Patti Chandler]]. Out of focus and overexposed.]

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

{{-}}

===Page 1===

[[Image:407-CWCWeekP1.jpg|thumb]]

<poem>
''A Week With Christian Chandler''
''(A Self-Documentry)''

''© 4/24/2000''
''April 24, 2000''

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

''Chandler's Publishing Co.''

''Now:''
''6008 Partingdale Cr.''
''Richmond, VA 23224''
''(804)-674-9474''

''As of 6/20/2000:''
''46 Branchland Ct.''
''Ruckersville, VA 22468''
''(804)-990-0198''
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 2===

[[Image:408-CWCWeekP2.jpg|thumb|left]]

Saturday, 4/29/2000:

On our 1st day of following Christian, we followed him as he was getting ready to go to the Pokemon Trading Card Game League at Books-A-Million. All ready to go, Christian and his mother leave for the League. On the way, they stop at B.P. gas station, so Christian could fill his sports bottle with some refreshing soda pop. After Christian enters Books-A-Million for the League, he sees someone with a rare, holographic "Team Rocket" Dark Raichu card. So he offers all his tradable holo rare cards and non-holo rare cards, but the boy did not want to trade his Dark Raichu card. After signing in with Marc, the Gym Leader, he trades a few cards, then he plays many card games. Much later, because of the release of the Team Rocket cards, now available in stores, a party was held with games and prizes. We watched as League members played a Musical Poke Ball game. A costume contest was also held; 5 people came dressed as Team Rocket members. But Christian was wearing his Ash get-up, like he usually wears every Saturday; it was originally a Halloween costume, but he thought of it as also a formal item to wear for the League. So, he entered and won 1st prize, a cool T-shirt. After receiving the T-shirt, he left for home so he could go to Ruckersville before it became dark.

{{-}}

===Page 3===

[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris, seated on his bed, holds up a number of Pokémon trading cards. Chris is shot against the light. The print is underexposed.]

- Christian is getting ready to go to the Pokemon TCG League at Books-a-Million.

[Photo: Chris stares down a younger opponent, about to put his last card into play.]

- Christian is playing a round of Pokemon with a fellow Trainer.

[Photo: Several young League members are playing a variation of Musical Chairs.]

- The League members are playing a round of Musical Poke Balls.

{{-}}

===Page 4===

[[Image:410-CWCWeekP4.jpg|thumb|left]]

[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Sunday, 4/30/2000:

On the 2nd day, Christian woke in his country home in Ruckersville. He helped his mother by moving heavy and light boxes, furniture and stuff from the van to the house, and house to workshop. Afterwards, they loaded the van, got ready to leave and left for Richmond. On the way, they stopped at Country Cooking restaurant in Orange County for lunch. Later, they returned to Richmond, and re-unloaded their van. But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville.

{{-}}

===Page 5===

[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's bedroom appears cluttered, yet cleaner than it's been of late. Out of focus.]

- This is Christian's Country Room.

[Photo: [[Barbara Chandler]], looking remarkably slim, is carrying a box. Shot against the light.]

- His mother is bringing in the last box from the van into the living room.

[Photo: Chris's soon-to-be-former living room is completely littered with junk. ]

- This is more stuff in the City living room to bring back to Ruckersville later.

{{-}}

===Page 6===

[[Image:412-CWCWeekP6.jpg|thumb|left]]

Monday, 5/1/2000

On the 3rd day, Christian spent an "ODD Day" at Manchester High School. The 1st class he went to was his English class with Mr. Goss. During class, Mr. Goss discussed the difference between Shakesphere's world and the real world of today. Christian rested his eyes after Mr. Goss's discussion, and before the bell rang. Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when his nerves kicked into action after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was. Next was Computer Graphics...it was great for him today, because he got to print his own CD cover. Next was Spanish 2...he took a quiz today, but I think he feels confident in his work. And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "slow-in-the-minds" on it.

{{-}}

===Page 7===

[[Image:413-CWCWeekP7.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Two teachers are sitting in a classroom, having a chat. Chemical smudge and fingerprint in print, likely a result of putting a dirty photographic paper on enlarger.]

- Mr. Goss is chatting with his fellow teacher friend.

[Photo: The cover of [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] has just been printed.]

- This is Christian's CD cover after print, in the process of cutting.

[Photo: Three Chesterfield County school buses await their students.]

- These busses are full of nutty "[[Christian Weston Chandler|slow-in-the-minds]]."

{{-}}

===Page 8===

[[Image:414-CWCWeekP8.jpg|thumb|left]]

Tuesday, May 2, 2000:

On the 4th day, we follow Christian on an easier school day, an "Even Day." 1st, he went to English class...he cruised on a "Zzzz," while starting to read a "Dollhouse" story. 2nd was Photography class, but with the immature boys, and getting up to develop photos, he never falls asleep in that class. 4th was Contemporary Living. Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry. Which brings up lunch; on an odd day, Christian eats alone, but on even days, he is with friends: Tiffany, Sarah, and Brian. Brian was not there today; he went on a field trip to D.C. 6th was Coping/Study Hall. During the free time in this class, Christian likes to get into a good book. And at 1:30, our hero leaves for home on...that bus.

{{-}}

===Page 9===

[[Image:415-CWCWeekP9.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris discusses a class assignment with one of his teachers.]

- Mr. Bayuk and Christian are looking over a test strip for proper time length check.

[Photo: Chris is eating lunch with two of his best gal-pals.]

- Christian is eating lunch with Tiffany and Sarah.

[Photo: Chris has his nose in the spine of R.L. Stine's [http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/in-too-deep.htm ''In Too Deep''].]

- Christian is reading an [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] novel during Coping class.

{{-}}

===Page 10===

[[Image:416-CWCWeekP10.jpg|thumb|left]]

Wednesday, May 3, 2000:

On the 5th day, we decided to take a break from lugging the tripod around at Christian's school. But instead, we will observe the daily activities the he does at home. He likes to play his video games (i.e. Pokemon, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc....). He also likes to go onto the internet to browse for new Poke News articles and to check the status of visitors (or he updates) his website, CWC's PokeSite 2! He also likes to go swimming at the [[Gay|YMCA]] pool; he needs to cool off after a hard day anyway. He also likes to sort and look through his book of Pokemon "Trading Card Game" cards and his decks. And he also likes to express himself in his art. Then later, he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, say "good night" to his parents, watch a little TV, then he goes to bed with music to relax to.

[Photo: Chris is sitting in his bedroom, playing Pokémon. Severely underlit.]

- Christian is playing Pokemon Stadium for Nintendo 64.

{{-}}

===Page 11===

[[Image:417-CWCWeekP11.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sitting on his bed, looking over his Pokémon cards. Shot against light.]

- Christian is checking on his cards in his book and decks.

[Photo: [[The Wall of Originals]], only 1/4 complete, is already huge.]

- This is Christian's "Wall of Original Pokemon Cards."

[Photo: Chris's cluttered room features an early version of CWCville. Underlit, probably slightly out of focus.]

- This is Christian's City Room.

{{-}}

===Page 12===

[[Image:418-CWCWeekP12.jpg|thumb|left]]

Thursday, May 4, 2000:

On the 6th day, we followed Christian, and photographed the achievements of Christian and his friends. 1st, we noticed on the wall of the Cafeteria hallway were posters from Computer Graphics classes; one was his, and we photographed it. Next, in Christian's Contemporary Living class, he, Tiffany and Sarah were fixing filled pasta shells, garlic bread and a salad. [[obesity|Christian did not have any salad]]; lettuce or tomatoes (and a few other vegetables) alone makes him feel green in the face. But After the bread and pasta shells were done (Christian and Sarah made the shells together) they all enjoyed a little something Italian. And during Photography class, [[Sex|he mounted a photo of his mother]] (he took and developed it himself) and later colored it.

{{-}}

===Page 13===

[[Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's "busy" Computer Graphics poster reads "Computer Graphics... Make some neat-o stuff!" and has "CWC" slapped ''six times'' all over it. The right edge of the print is underexposed, though this is barely noticeable.]

- Christian's Computer Graphics poster has a lot of Pinball action.

[Photo: Two of Chris's best gal-pals are eating the salad that they made.]

- Sarah and Tiffany are enjoying their green salad.

[Photo: A photo of Barbara Chandler has been set in a cheap homemade frame. Corner and - in a failure so grand that it's reserved for professionals alone - a band in right side of the print is underexposed. How Chris did this, we'll never know.]

- This "Mother of the Year 2000" Award will be presented to Christian's mother on the Mother's Day of 2000.

{{-}}

===Page 14===

[[Image:420-CWCWeekP14.jpg|thumb|left]]

Friday, May 5, 2000:

On the last day of our week-long journey, we followed Christian through one tough Friday. Christian came to school wearing a dress shirt and pants, a tie, and his cap and gown were in the bag. He went to English class, and took a vocabulary quiz. After the quiz, Christian signed the Senior Memory Book of his friend, Miranda Mitchell. During Trigonometry class, he took notes on SSA triangles and the Sine formula. Then in Computer Graphics class, he sketched an idea for a self portrait, and it suited the requirements. But, he'll have to wait till next class, because he needs a couple of his "home files" to start him off. In Spanish 2, he started on a test, but he did not finish it, because he had to go for the Senior Group Photo. Christian had to walk down a mile-long hill to the football stadium, and when he got there, he put his stuff down in the entrance, put on his cap and gown, and went to join the group of seniors. After the long wait for the pictures to be taken, being crowded like a sardine surrounded by immature teenage boys, and having the hot, hot sun shining down on him and everyone else, he went back to the shady entrance. He got his stuff, and on the way back up the hill, his bus driver drove down to tell him that she called his father and told him about Christian and the photo shoot taking so long. So Christian walked back up the hill, he became tired and sweaty. After he entered the school building, he rested in the open commons for a few minutes. Then he buzzed for his father to pick him up, got ready to go, chilled out, and got picked up by his dad. And that concludes our week-long documentary of...A Week With Christian W. Chandler, the autistic boy that has made it this far. :)

[Photo: One of Chris's gal-pals is seated at a desk. Out of focus.]

- Miranda's first reaction to Christian's nice message.

{{-}}

===Page 15===

[[Image:421-CWCWeekP15.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sipping from a can of Dr Pepper.]

- Christian is getting started on his lunch.

[Photo: Chris is sitting at a long table, looking exhausted. Somewhat badly lit, as Chris's face is in shadow.]

- Tired and sweaty from the mile-long climb in the hot sun, Christian rests for a few minutes.

[Photo: Chris organizes his many Pokémon cards in his room. Extremely underexposed print, the right corner almost completely unexposed.]''

- Christian is preparing his decks for the Pokemon TCG League tomorrow.

{{-}}

===Page 16===

[[Image:422-CWCWeekP16.jpg|thumb|left]]

<poem>
A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary).

Christian W. Chandler.
4/24/Y2K
Photo., 2.
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 17===

[[Image:423-CWCWeekP17.jpg|thumb]]

''Christian's Parents.''

[Photo: Bob and Barbara Chandler pose together, nearly managing to look happy. Barbara is wearing a shirt with the logo of First North American National Bank. ''Finally,'' a well-lit and mood-evoking photograph... gloriously enlarged on dusty paper.]

''Robert F. Chandler. Jr.'' 
''Barbara W. Chandler.''

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Alcohol

2010-01-19T21:16:14Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Discovery */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Sonichurosey.png|thumb|Ever since getting married to [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu]] finds that Reeb helps dull the pain.]]

Like [[sex toys|shoving things]] up his ass, '''alcohol''' was something that [[Chris]] used to preach against until he tried it and discovered he loved the pleasant effect.

==Background==
[[Image:Z100_0533.jpg|thumb|Finally Loosened up and flew to Long Island June 12, 2009. Keep It Responsible; ONLY One in a day, or 7 or less in all in a week. ''(Quote from [[CWCipedia]])'']]
He considered alcohol a "slow-acting poison" in his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]] video. Alcohol is also mentioned in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where in line 309, he mentions that he would not go to a singles bar because of it (and cigarettes).

==Discovery==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|thumb|right|]]

Despite this, a [[Chris's Big Night Out|video]] of Chris drinking a [[Long Island Iced Tea]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 12 [[June 2009]] perhaps showing us Chris will be willing to throw all his principles out the window when chances of <del>possibly achieving [[china|pussy]]</del> being around a female arise.

==Hypocrisy==
The citizens of CWCville themselves, however, are forced to consume only [[CWC Cola]], a cola made with Chris's [[semen|secret ingredient]] that would <s>taste better</s> '''be fit for human consumption''' if only it had a little rum or whiskey in it.

==Chandler family and alcohol==

It is interesting to note that [[Cole Smithey]] mentions that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] [[:Image:Cole_07-07-24-1.PNG|met at a bar and acted like a couple of drunken losers]].

The Chandler family has a(n unsuprising) history with alcohol. Chris's maternal great-grandfather, Robert Pettis Wynn "drank heavily and had a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] during the time he was married. Family stories say he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children ...there are others who say he was a moonshiner."<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:RealReeb.jpg|thumb|right|Reeb is the official drink of [[Kick the Autistic]].]]
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|left|A worker at 4-Cent_Garbage downing a relaxing can of Reeb.]]

In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' Chris refers to all mentions of beer as "Reeb".

At first glance this seems odd until you realize Chris still thinks Sonichu is targeted towards children, and so, he feels he must censor any mention of alcohol in the comic. This is a common theme in English-translated anime shows such as [[Dragon Ball Z]] and [[Pokémon]].

Possessing or drinking alcohol was also one of the worst crimes to commit in [[CWCville]], and could have lead to a $1500 fine or 10 years in prison (the fact that Chris thinks that 10 years in prison and a $1500 fine are interchangeable is indicative of his broader attitude towards [[money]]).

In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video he announced that the prohibition had been repealed. Hopefully this will curb the bootlegging mafioso who held the city in a grip of pleasant distraction from the horrors of being ruled by Christian Weston Chandler.

"Reeb" is the drink of choice for the drunkards at 4-cent_garbage.com.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==
[[Image:Reeb.jpg|thumb]]
*[[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]
*[[4-cent garbage.com]], where the workers often drink [[reeb]]
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]], where the CWCville crime is mentioned
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], where he gives [[Fail|"advice"]] on the subject

{{Chris and}}

[[Category: Social life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Sonee & Rosey

2010-01-19T21:10:37Z

ChristianWestonChandler: /* Sonee */

[[Image:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|thumb|A '''sonee''' and a '''rosey'''. Note that Rosey's looking lustfully at Sonee. Seriously.]]
[[Image:SchuComic4Page4.jpg|thumb|The birth of '''Rosey''' [[Bubbles]], sans skirt.]]

'''Sonees''' and '''Rosies''' are the pre-evolutionary forms of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]] and [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Their colors usually correspond to their type. Most [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] in the comic started out as eggs that fell out of a rainbow and hatched as Sonees and Rosies.

Technically, baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] never could have existed because they were transformed directly from a Pikachu and Raichu, not Pichu, their pre-evolved form. It's also unconfirmed whether or not the ''[[Hanky-panky|miracle of birth]]'' provides Sonichu offspring with their shoes, bows, and skirts shown. None of the Chaotic Combo, or Silvana, correspond to the "Original Sonee and Rosey", but rather to the prismatic range of the [[Rainbow|Chaos Rainbow]]. There's also a continuity in the attire with the "Sonichu/Rosechu" species; "Sonees" are stark-naked with shoes while "Rosies" are wearing dresses. There's might be a link with their [[Homos|sexuality]] but Chris, their grand-father, is [[Mailbag 19|unclear on the subject]].

Although Chris has stated that he finds them cute, most ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' readers reacted in disgust when first confronted with these hideously repulsive creatures, and a large consensus has agreed that they are some of the most aggravating characters, their lack of comprehensible (relatively speaking; most Sonichu dialogue is at least in English) speech being a major cause of anger.

==Sonee==
{{quote|Sonee is the pre-evolved form of Sonichu. He is known to have a lot of [[semen|spunk]] and speed. This cute Pokemon packs a lot of action.|[[:Image:JULAY-small.gif‎|Sonee Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He has a lot of spunk and speed, and is quite "cute". He is apparently born with shoes on.

==Rosey==
{{quote|Rosey is the pre-evolved form of Rosechu. Her cuteness always gets the awe of her enemies. When she falls, her skirt acts as a parachute.|[[:Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg|Rosey Animal Crossing card]]}}

The pre-evolved form of [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. According to Chris her so called "cuteness" always gets the awe of her enemies, and when she falls, her skirt act as a parachute. This last feat is physically impossible, but never mind ''that''. It is unclear if Rosey is born with her skirt on, or if it is purchased separately. The Rosey form of [[Bubbles]], for instance (see right), was never born with a skirt.

==Biologee==
An examination of the birthdates of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] reveals that Rosechus have a gestation period of less than three months. This amount of time would for a normal creature be insufficient for healthy development, which possibly explains why Sonees and Roseys appear [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded]] and half-[[Yawning Squirtle|baked all the time]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:164-ACSonee.jpg
Image:165-ACSoneeBck.jpg
Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg
Image:231-ACRosey.jpg
Image:232-ACRoseyBck.jpg
Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg
Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg
Image:Demonicrobbie.jpg|OH GOD LOOK AT THAT FACE
Image:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[The Creepy Stare]].
</gallery>
</center>
 

==See Also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]

*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Rosechu (species)]]
*[[Metonic]]
*[[Vamprosa]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[Sonichu 3#Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"|Sonichu 3 Ep.10]], the first episode to feature Sonees and Roseys, to the chagrin of Sonichu [[Trolls|fans]].
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category:Characters]]