CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Christof

2021-11-20T16:17:08Z

Christof: Replaced content with "Hey guyzzzz."

Hey guyzzzz.

Toucher and Rich Segment

2021-08-23T16:30:35Z

Christof:

[[Image:BaronHarkonnen.jpg|thumb|Chris in "the David Lynch movie of your nightmares."]]

[[Chris]]'s 1 [[May 2009]] video [[For My Sweetest Ivy]] was the focus of a segment of '''''[[Wikipedia:The Toucher and Rich Show|The Toucher and Rich Show]]''''', a Boston-area radio show, that aired on 12 [[May 2009]]. There are some details that the hosts of the show get wrong, like the apparent confusion of [[Ivy]] with [[Megan]], but this is understandable given that their knowledge of him is mostly second-hand.

This was one of the rare discussions of Chris in the mainstream and not by [[trolls|obsessives]] on the [[Internet]] prior to [[August_2021_Arrest_and_Court_Case|August 2021]]. Notice that no matter how much the hosts try to warp Chris's voice, the original is still the most disturbing. Also, this is apparently not the first time Chris has been discussed on the show, as they imply in the beginning of the segment that they had played [[I Got A Fish]] previously.

==Transcript==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|As95RqOQd04}}</center>

'''Toucher:''' Sometimes you don't realize how big something's getting on the Internet. We are Toucher and Rich -- Rich Shertenlieb, Crash Clark, Adolfo Gonzalez. My name is Fred Toettcher. Two ways to get involved with the show. Please feel free to instant feedback -- go to WBCN.com and click on "Instant Feedback," or give us a call at 617-931-1041. Here is the deal: we got sent a e-mail from a guy who said, "Look at, this is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a really long time. What the F is up with this guy?" And he was the guy, do you have "I Got A Fish?"

'''Rich:''' I got it right here, yeah. [''Plays clip from "[[I Got A Fish]]:"'']

:'''Chris:''' I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish? 

'''Toucher:''' And he is a grown man who is standing in a [[Chris's room|room]] full of [[toys]], and he is saying things, uh, this is him describing, do you have the description of what he likes, the spanking, he's kind of describing--

'''Rich:''' Oh no, I don't have that. Do, do some of it.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, basically he's describing how he likes, uh, there's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|pictures of him]] that have been leaked on the Internet wearing [[Butt garments|adult diapers]], uh, he likes being spanked, and that's because [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|that's what adults do]]. Adults like feeling pleasure, uh, out of pain.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, he is a disturbing young man. And I've been sent since then a bunch of links about this guy. And you know what, I don't remember his name and I don't care to; you'll be able to find him, don't worry about it. [''Laughs''] But, uh, he's got a million videos up on the Internet, and he also apparently has a [[comic]] book that he draws and puts up on the Internet--

'''Rich:''' Oh boy.

'''Toucher:''' --which is, I don't even want to get into, but which I, which I, from what I, if what I read is true, it's [[Sonichu 10|horribly disturbing]]. So anyway, he's kind of this manchild, he, uh, wears glasses, he looks a little bit like, for lack of a better description, [[Wikipedia:Phillip Seymour Hoffman|Phillip Seymour Hoffman]], almost? Like if he was playing a deranged guy. [''Laughs'']

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs.''] Right.

'''Toucher:''' Alright. So anyway, so from what I've read, there's a whole big, like, there's something that's, uh, that's like Wipi-[[Wikipedia]], but it's like "[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Crapipedia]]" or something? [''Rich laughs.''] There's this big page about this guy, and I don't know if it's true or not, but they reference that [[JERKS|he hates all men]] because they, uh, have all the girls, all the girls he meets have girlfriends[sic], but there was one girl that he was friends with, that he fell madly in love with, and I guess that this is a, uh, an ode to her.

'''Rich:''' It is. Now, in this video, unlike in the other one where he's just sitting down wearing his, like, flannel shirt, like, looking at the camera, he is standing up, he's extremely excited, you can tell because he's kind of bobbling from side to side, and he's wearing his normal outfit except on top of it a blazer. 'Cause he wants to look proper.

'''Toucher:''' And he is nonchalantly holding his, uh, remote control. He always has a [[video game]] remote control on him. And once again, in his bedroom, with the toys and drawings and the cartoons.

'''Rich:''' And here you go.

'''Toucher:''' He's obsessed with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], too, from what I've read. And if I failed to mention it yet, he's probably close to forty. [''Plays clip from "[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]"'']

:'''Chris:''' Hey Ivy! I'm doing this video for yoooou. Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together! Hmmm!

'''Toucher:''' Yeah right, dude! [''Rich laughs.''] Dude, dude, dude, enjoy, put the Nightmare Machine on, ladies and gentlemen. [''Plays a clip from "[[Wikipedia:Goodbye Horses|Goodbye Horses]]," alluding to the Buffalo Bill dance scene in [[Wikipedia:The Silence of the Lambs|The Silence of the Lambs]].''] I hope that you're not half-asleep with the snooze button listening to this guy, 'cause, welcome to the [[Wikipedia:David Lynch|David Lynch]] movie of your nightmares!

'''Rich:''' If I saw this in a David Lynch movie, I would say, like, "Alright, David Lynch is trying way too hard. Now he's like, making up stuff, that, this is too weird." [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' You know, [[Barbara|my mommy]] and I--my, my family and I will come and meet you at the airport. And you know, your choice so--take you to your hotel or, uh, bring you back to...my house, hmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Ooh. These little-- [''Replays and imitates Chris's whimper and laughs, then plays the "Goodbye Horses" clip again, adding Chris saying "Back to... my house" and "My mommy and I" with his voice digitally lowered.'']

'''Rich(?):''' "My mommy and me..." [''Plays music from Psycho'']

'''Toucher:''' Even when adult women say "mommy" it's freaky--

'''Rich:''' [''Laughing''] I know.

'''Toucher:''' --let alone an adult man talking to somebody he, uh, obviously wants a relationship with. Ai-yai-yai. I hope you've had that cup of coffee, ladies and gentlemen, because [''Laughs''] it only gets worse. [''Continues clip.'']

:'''Chris:''' I mean, uh, you know, we'd be hanging around so much and sharing so many fondful memories. Hmm. And you know, I few--I know a few good places in [[Charlottesville]], you know, I think it's, you know, I'll take you there, we'll get some good things to eeeeeat, and we’ll hang ooouut. We’ll have so much fun. I know a place that serves some great smoothies. And you know, we can enjoy a movie in the theater, or in--at home, or watch a television rerun. ''[[Family Guy]]''! Heh.

'''Toucher:''' "''Family Guy''!" [''They laugh and play the Psycho music again.''] Tony, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Tony:''' Oh my God, two hundred years ago, this guy would have been ostracized out of a village or a town or something like that. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.''] I mean, he ''really'' needs to be around normal humans.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I guess there are videos, I've been told, where [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|his ''mother'' appears]], like--

'''Rich:''' No!

'''Toucher:''' --comes into the room while he's filming 'em.

'''Rich:''' Oh man.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I mean, there's a, you could spend a good, uh, horrifying evening, [''Rich laughs''] if you wanted to go, like, out to the old haunted house and play these things, you could probably do it for a couple of hours. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' ''Family Guy''! Or, uh, ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', or I got some—I got the entire series of ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', hmmm. Hoo-hoo! Hmm, and we can make some music together... on ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. Hmmm. Well, you can sing, I got a microphone. I'm thinking about getting drums. [''Makes a drum sound.''] Hm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our [[sex]] time together.

'''Toucher:''' Aaaauugghhaaaaoooo! [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again''] I'm going to guess it never happened. [''Rich laughs.''] I'm going to guess that the lady saw this video and maybe thought-- [''Replays clip of Chris saying, "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Rich:''' Oough.

'''Toucher:''' Alan, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Alan:''' Hey, guys, hey!

'''Toucher and Rich:''' Hey!

'''Alan:''' Um, make sure you save that videotape; [[jerkops|the FBI]] will want it for evidence.

'''Toucher:''' I have a feeling that, if all this is real, that, uh, there are [[/cwc/|several]] [[CWCki|organizations]] that are just keeping an eye on the, uh, the doings of this gentleman.

'''Rich:''' Yeah, the creepiest thing is that he, first of all, he talks like a little kid, like, "my mommy," and then in his first video, he was saying, because that's what adults do sometimes, like he's talking and addressing children.

'''Toucher:''' But I g--, this woman is an adult from what I've read, that he's addressing.

'''Rich:''' Oh, oh, maybe, maybe it is, maybe it is, but the other videos that he's made, it just seems like--

'''Toucher:''' He's very child-like and maybe he was relating to someone on a child-like level.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' That is a, that is an assumption. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll, I'll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm!

[''Rich laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Who did you save all this skin for? [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again, adding Chris saying "Just for you!" three times, with the first iteration digitally lowered.''] Why is this dog-cage all set up? [''Repeats digitally-lowered "Just for you!" and adds the "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Toucher:''' I mean, you don't even have to play it slow, you don't have to do anything, this is like a night-- I've never gone through the whole video, it's, it's so disturbing to me. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm. Hmmm. And, you know, I know a number, uh, places we could walk around at, you know. We could walk about the mall!

'''Toucher:''' Ooh!

:'''Chris:''' We could walk about the UVA grounds! Good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight. Hmmmm, so, you know, wonderful memories! Wonderful memories! We're gonna have lots of fun. And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always. Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. [''Sound of disgust from one of the hosts''] I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch! Hmmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Oulbggh!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] Oh yeah!

'''Crash:''' It's making chills!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] I know!

'''Crash:''' The chil-- he's a witch! [''Replays a slowed-down "Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch!" and adds "Just for you!" and a slowed-down "Look at me smile" at the end.'']

'''Toucher:''' [''Laughing''] "Look at me smile!" [''Replays "I know a number of good positions and massages."''] Ohhhh. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, look at me smile, hmm. It's a nice smile. Because I love you, Ivy! I love you so much. I ran out of details. I don't know. I guess I'll sing you a song.

'''Toucher:''' No!

:'''Chris:''' It's a jolly ‘oliday With Ivy Ivy makes my heart so light When the skies are grey And ordinary Ivy makes the sun shine bright. It's a jolly holiday with Ivy No wonder that it's Ivy that I love. I love you so much Ivy. I love you! I love youuu. [''Blows a kiss to the camera.''] Talk to you later, sweetheart. And also to your [[officer Keino|father the policeman]], I salute him with my Cub Scout salute.

'''Toucher:''' Ohhhhhhh ohh. [''Rich laughs.''] [''Plays circus music to "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together," "Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together!" and "Just for you!"'']

'''Toucher:''' I'm just hoping that they wouldn't let this guy on an airplane. Laura, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Laura:''' Thanks a lot for making me have a new really colorful character for my nightmares. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.'']

'''Toucher:''' E-especially for a woman.

'''Laura:''' I'm just gonna sleep with the light on for the rest of my life, now.

'''Toucher:''' Yes, indeed!

'''Laura:''' Oh my God!

'''Toucher:''' We should make a, we should make tapes of these specifically for certain people, just replace "Ivy" with "Laura"-- [''Replays "We can make some music together on ''Guitar Hero''" and "And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always." while everyone laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Well, Rich is obviously from a conservative Catholic family and, uh, something happened over the weekend that maybe made them think he was a little bit of a psycho.

[''Segment ends.'']

==Chris's response==
Troll goddess [[Vivian Gee]] saw fit to inform Chris about his radio presence via e-mail. Needless to say, Chris was less than receptive.
{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I never asked for a reputation.‏

This WHOLE WORLD is becoming [[autistic]] by gluing ALL of their attention
to computers, [[internet]] and all that. I am a REAL LIFE MAN, and while I
do not appreciate or care much of the "reputation" that has been made
against me on the crappy internet, the TRUE Reputation I would call my
own is in REAL LIFE and from ACTUALLY HANGING OUT WITH ME IN PERSON.

Feel Free to Spread this Quote from me, "If you REALLY want to make a
Reputation Of Me, then Hang Out With Me In Real Life. Quit hiding
behind your F***ing Computers and "[[4-cent_garbage.com|Anonymous]]" Bu**S***."

Nobody is Perfect. But I AM a Good Person, and I do not have to be recorded to prove it.

Peace,
Christian.}}

Needless to say, the quote Chris manufactured for himself wasn't spread.

==See also==
*[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?vpk4uuca66b8i6y Audio download]

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2013-09-15T12:52:18Z

Christof: Cleaned up syntax a bit

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|Welcome to the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]].]]

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism (see [[Chris in the media]]). There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to a wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) to none have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Chris is very notorious on the Internet as he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling - this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

:However, before you want to inflict harm upon Chris and claiming that how Chris gives you [[Autism|autistics]] 'a bad name', please read the [[A-Logging]] article.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen. Even his [[Anna McLerran|actual friends]] can't help him too either.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: As of 2013, efforts to troll Chris are strongly discouraged. [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1873 Read here if you're planning to troll Chris.] In a nutshell, Chris's father's death, combined with his relative reclusiveness due to being wary of previous trolls, make it extremely difficult and not worth the effort.

However, if you insist on ignoring this advice and trying your luck anyway, you can post your idea on [[/cwc/|/cow/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] though, Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]] even in [[Sonichu 8|his]] [[Giant Penis Comic|comics]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furry community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these actions are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref> He's currently active on his [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] now.

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]].

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of the very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[CWC-isms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] have been his only outlets.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/ The CWCki Forums] - The official forum of this fine wiki.
:* [[/cwc/|/cow/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

User:Christof

2011-10-03T18:39:01Z

Christof: Created page with "I am Christof, the creator...of a television show. Or maybe just another guy who is fascinated/horrified by Chris-chan and follows his exploits excessively. I don't know much a..."

I am Christof, the creator...of a television show. Or maybe just another guy who is fascinated/horrified by Chris-chan and follows his exploits excessively. I don't know much about Chris, other than what I've seen, so I probably can't contribute much. Making this account pretty pointless. Eh.