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Chris and hypocrisy

2012-11-08T08:06:41Z

Chupathingy: minor punctuation error fix

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2">[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you.|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2"/>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Chris breaking almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male sex]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkops|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This was coming from a 27 year-old who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his thirties, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Chris retconned their ages]] so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|fourteen-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]."

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a penny]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref>

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera. A little over a year later, he would [[28 October 2011|return to this very store]] and take more pictures of the man without his consent, with the incident finally ending in his arrest for hit and run. Even to the time of this writing, Chris has not learned at all; he posted on his [[Facebook]] a rapidly taken photo of an angry woman for giving him a "difficult time."

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==="They took all the pretty girls, leaving none for me!" — Romantic rivalry===

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="It's like they're shoving it in your face" — Flamboyancy===

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals. In his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Homosexuals|response]] on the forum, Chris stated, 'I do not care much for the homosexual males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face'. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching Youtube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had dated [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Unbanning_Attempts|"banned"]] means, [[28 October 2011|he will soon appear in front of a judge.]]

Most recently, in the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://www.adfki.com/index.php?title=ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman believed to be Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his 'slender' figure" - Obesity===

Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence

2012-11-07T09:20:47Z

Chupathingy: fixed "geinus", although I'm not sure if it was a cwc-ism reference. Whatever, I'm dead inside anyways.

[[Image:Jandw.jpg|thumb|[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu User:ChrisChanSonichu] (left), working hard on controlling and improving [[CWCipedia]], with a little help from [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop User:WikiSysop] (right)]]
The correspondence below is copypasted from [[CWCipedia]], from the user talk pages of [[Chris-Chan]] ([http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu User:ChrisChanSonichu]) and the mysterious WikiSysop ([http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop User:WikiSysop]) – the person who helped Chris control how [[CWCipedia]] worked, and performed mere technical tasks under the wise guidance of our illustrious [[Autism|"genius"]]. Chris's messages were most often posted on Wikisysop's talk page, and vice versa.

This correspondence gives valuable insight in the mind of Chris, especially in that part of it dealing with internet, websites, copyright, and similar problems. It also offers the reader a rare backstage pass into the workings of [[CWCipedia]], and sheds light onto new details concerning some CWCipedia-related happenings, such as the [[Homos|Gay Ad Disaster]]. And overall, it's quite a funny read.

*(CCS): Posted on ChrisChanSonichu's user talk page
*(WS): Posted on WikiSysop's user talk page

==Control Panel (CCS)==

I've added a control panel template that allows you to edit the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page Main Page] features to your user page. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=index.php/User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 06:59, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

==Whoops! (CCS)==

Sorry about the huge number of edits I've been making recently, this wiki formatting takes a lot of time and effort so like many [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysops] I often have a drink every now and then to help put up with the often tedious task of making templates and ensuring everything works properly. Of course, this leads to a lot of typos and errors, in addition to the errors caused by unruly siblings or cats on keyboards. So I apologise if I am disrupting Recent Changes too much, and hope that you continue to use this wiki to its fullest! --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 10:59, 18 June 2009 (CEST)

==Comic section (CCS)==

I've prepared the comic pages for you, you just need to upload them now. Go to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu_Comic_Collection Sonichu Comic Collection] and pick a comic to upload to get started, you don't need to edit the pages, just click on the red Image: links and upload. Tell me if you run into any problems. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 17:01, 18 June 2009 (CEST)

==New template (CCS)==

[[Image:Commentary box.JPG|thumb|Chris never used it.]]
I've made a new template you can use to add director's commentary to your comics! Add this between the Comic Page and Issue navbox for best results --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 21:53, 19 June 2009 (CEST)

==Site Logo (CCS)==

Please upload a PNG with a transparent background, 135 pixels wide and 135 pixels high here: [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SiteLogo.png] Thanks in advance!

* Sorry, but this is too big... it has to fit in a 135x135 pixel square to display properly --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 21:54, 19 June 2009 (CEST)

:* [[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:ResizedSiteLogo.png]] Maybe this would be better? Though Chris, perhaps you should should make a new logo, perhaps one incorporating the lovely one you made on the front page. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 01:29, 20 June 2009 (CEST)

==A humble request (CCS)==

Hey Chris! Me and my friends play Doom a lot, and we were wondering if you could make us a Sonichu skin! It'd really give me an edge in deathmatches, hehe

I was inspired by the videos you made about your ideas for a Sonichu game. Maybe if you do the sprites and sounds, I can make some CWCville-themed levels and we can make a real Sonichu game together? Better start small first, though, so a simple skin will be cool

To make a skin I need some drawings and sound recordings, don't worry, they're pretty easy to make. I'll put them together into a skin and take some pics of it to show it action once it's done.

===Sprites===
[[Image:Doomguy.JPG|thumb|The sprites in question]]
Just use the base sprites as a guide for what you should draw. Please use PNG and try to make sure the background is transparent

===Sounds===
Use these as a guide for what you should record.

''Chris's sysop placed a table here with links to the main Doom sounds.''

===Sonichu Versions===
Upload the finished pictures and sounds into these red links!

''Wikisysop set up tables for Chris to fill in with his own variations on the sprites and sounds. Chris, ever grateful, never did.''

Remember to have fun making it, we'll definitely have fun using it! --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 06:14, 10 July 2009 (CEST)

==Your Recent Edits (CCS)==

Chris, I just want to say that your new edits are '''fantastic'''. I particularly enjoyed the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens Private villa of corrupted citizens] article (though all your edits in the past day have been very good). By all means, keep adding content.

I saw you made a new logo for the corner and I will put it up as soon as possible.

Also, if you need any help or have any concerns or notice something isn't working, by all means, you can put your questions here and I will do my best to answer them for you.

Keep up the good work, Chris! --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 12:27, 29 July 2009 (CEST)

==Color Scheme (CCS)==

Now that the background and logo have been set, what kind of color scheme would you like for the site? Page background colors, text colors, border colors, etc.

Please tell me what colors you'd like and I'll set them right away --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:26, 30 July 2009 (CEST)

==A tip about featured articles (CCS)==

Chris, just wanted to let you know that you can change the image associated with the featured article. For instance, if you wanted the new page with Billy Mays [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg] instead of [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:HisOwnWords.jpg Image:HisOwnWords.jpg], just replace "InHisOwnWords.jpg" with "SchuComic931.jpg" or whatever other image you'd like to be associated with the featured article.

The same principle holds true if you wish to edit the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Picture Featured Picture] to show off any new pictures you've drawn.

It's good you've discovered how to change the featured article, just wanted to give you a neat tip on how to use it fully. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 10:10, 3 August 2009 (CEST)

==(unnamed) (WS)==

Hey, it's me. :) Thank you for your pieces of advice and assistance in the edits of Cwcipedia. I have a question now. I am currently working on the [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] page, and I would like to add an Expandable Image Gallery, like Encyclopedia Dramatica has on their "Chris_chan" page (I don't like to reference them, but I felt the comparison is fair, aside from the lewd, disgusting "FanArt" they have on there), can you show me the Wiki-Code for that setup, please?

Thank you again. (I like to remind everyone who I am close to this) Keep a Happy Thought, and Stay Safe, Christian Weston Chandler.

* Here's a collapsible gallery template you can use [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Collapsible Template:collapsible] here, which will be handy if you have a lot of pictures you want to display. Just curious, I checked the ED page to see what you meant, would you still want it so you can collapse in in the collapsible frame? For instance, you'd open the frame, then you'd be given some options, and you can click to collapse or uncollapse them (I looked at ED to get an idea what you meant - like how "Chris-chan Gallery" gives you some options like "Fan Art", "Original Drawings", etc. when you uncollapse the frame and you can collapse and uncollapse them). That'll be a bit tricky but if you want that, I can work on a template so you can do that sort of thing as well.

:I'm glad you're starting to learn how wiki software works and wanting to expand your horizons. If the template I made isn't exactly what you wanted, '''by all means say so!''' I will be more than glad to help you set up templates and so forth.

:Keep up the good work Chris and as always, if you need any help, feel free to ask me. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:52, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==The template you asked for (CCS)==

I apologize if you've already read this on my talk page but I always forget if you're notified if a response to a message you wrote on someone else's talk page. Well, in case you didn't, here's what I said:

Here's a collapsible gallery template you can use [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Collapsible Template:collapsible] here, which will be handy if you have a lot of pictures you want to display. Just curious, I checked the ED page to see what you meant, would you still want it so you can collapse in in the collapsible frame? For instance, you'd open the frame, then you'd be given some options, and you can click to collapse or uncollapse them (I looked at ED to get an idea what you meant - like how "Chris-chan Gallery" gives you some options like "Fan Art", "Original Drawings", etc. when you uncollapse the frame and you can collapse and uncollapse them). That'll be a bit tricky but if you want that, I can work on a template so you can do that sort of thing as well.

I'm glad you're starting to learn how wiki software works and wanting to expand your horizons. If the template I made isn't exactly what you wanted, '''by all means say so!''' I will be more than glad to help you set up templates and so forth.

Keep up the good work Chris and as always, if you need any help, feel free to ask me. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:52, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==Thank you, the code was a Big Help. (WS)==

I will also be using it in the pages of the Other characters as well, because I have numerous original drawings of the Main Characters and then some.

I have a suggestion that can be of really big help to me, often in expanding on the stories from my books, I often need to quote the first page, or a specific page, for that expanded story arc. I use Mozilla FireFox as the browser for faster web-surfing that my AOL program was lacking in doing so quickly. And I have the liberty of Multiple Tabs for having separate web pages on hand for reference. And as to look up the page number of the Comics, I have go through the extensive right-clicking and opening in a new tab the C-Quarters logo in the corner, then I have to scroll down and locate the Comic Collection link, then I have to wait for that to come up.

I would like a more direct-link to the Comic Collection, can you put the link in the Navigation Box, please?

Thank you. :)

Stay Safe, and Keep a happy thought, Christian W. Chandler.

==New Feature (CCS)==
[[Image:HeartLevelTemplate.JPG|thumb|The day it hits zero is the day we can all quit.]]
Chris, I got an excellent idea for a new front page feature where you can update your fans about your current heart level. All you do is go to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Heart_Level Template:Heart Level] and where you see <nowiki>{{Heart|some number}}</nowiki>, just enter a number to show what percentage your heart level is. Right now, I have it at 100, so it shows a little picture of your heart level at 100.

Right now, it works so whatever image you have your heart level at, it will pull an image based on it as long as it's in the form "HeartXX.jpg" where xx is some percentage. For instance, if you entered 90% for your heart level, it would get the image "Heart90.jpg" which would show your heart at 90%. You can be as elaborate (such as drawing heart levels for every increment, like 99, 98, 97...etc) or as simple (like in tens in 90, 80, 70, etc.) as you'd like. I think the simple approach would suffice.

In addition, you can add a brief comment about why you feel at that heart percentage like "Had a good day" or "Got the new comic up" or something like that.

I figure this would be a good way to communicate how you feel to your fans that only involves entering two numbers (or three if you're at 100%!) to communicate your heart percentage level and a sentence if you'd like.

I realize you are busy drawing the comics and I don't want to add more to your work load, but this is just a simple way you can communicate how you feel to your fans if you don't feel like writing a lengthy Captain's Log or something like that.

Also, please forgive me for using the 100% heart level from your comic, as I mean to use it in a non-slanderous way.

As I said, I'll be working on what you wanted today, but I hope you'll like the Heart Level template. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 16:08, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

==The heart is a good touch, thank you. :) (WS)==

I will personally fill in the remain percentage images by divisibles of 10; 0 to 90, and such image for each 10th percent will be represented for the numbers below that 10th. 0 will equal 0. 1-10 will equal the 10%, 11-20 will be 20%; 21-30, 30%; 31-40, 40%; 41-50, 50%; 51-60, 60%; 61-70, 70%; 71-80, 80%; 81-90, 90%. 100 will equal 100, I will make an appropriate drawing for 91-99%, 95%.

Thank you again. ;)

==Your recent request (CCS)==

I'll work on it today. You should have it by the end today (August 6). Also, apology for the edit conflict with Dating Education - hope I didn't spook you, just was editing the article since wiki software doesn't handle indentations well (if you want to indent, just use a : for each space you want to indent). Yeah, it's weird but that's how wiki software works. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 10:10, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

* In regards to your request about having a way to quote, did you want something like [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Quote Template:Quote]? That'll let you put a huge quote from whatever you want and it'll be big. If you had something else in mind, let me know. Wiki software has a few different ways you can present quotes and I can work on something to meet your needs. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 10:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

:* Added a comic collection link to the side navigation panel. If that wasn't what you had in mind, let me know. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:42, 7 August 2009 (CEST)

==Filenames (WS)==

After uploading an image sometimes in the comic pages, the page number I give it only a rough estimate until I have fully finished the book. After the book is finished, or if I have to change the page numbers on the extra pages, I would like to simply change the filename online.

Step-by-step, please, how do I change the name of an uploaded file?

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 22:23, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

==Filenames (CCS)==

Sadly, the version of MediaWiki we're using doesn't support the changing of filenames. You'll have to delete the images and reupload them with a new name. But for the bonus pages, why not make special pages for them rather than putting them on numbered pages? I'll start making a Bonus Page template for you now --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 15:04, 9 August 2009 (CEST)

==Contact Template for the Front Page (WS)==
[[Image:ContactTemplate.JPG|thumb|The eventual template. Chris just loves dropping dox.]]
I would like to add a Contact Template to the bottom of the page with my E-Mail address in it. For the time being, I'm going to borrow a piece of the "Featured Image" Section and use the Letr.gif image I used on my old Pok'eSite.

Also, a spot on the BOTTOM of the Front Page in the CENTER Alignment for the Sonichu Copyright Banner.jpg WITH Notes that it APPLIES TO ALL PAGES on Cwcipedia, please.

Thank you. Stay Safe. :D --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 07:04, 11 August 2009 (CEST)

==The recent Maintainance (WS)==

I thank God and Jesus that Cwcipedia is back up and running; upon First Look at the "Non-Exixtant" Page put me into such a Hefty Shock, that I had a Terrible Nightmare.

Anyway, in the future, if the Cwcipedia is going to be down for a while, PLEASE put up a notice on the front page One Week in advance, notifying all about the upcoming maintainance, and that the page will be down for the set time as noted in the Notice.

And instead of being redirected to a "Non-Existent" page, PLEASE Set up a "Sorry, the Cwcipedia is down for Maintainance; it will be back up soon. Thank you for your Paitence."

For The Love Of God, I NEVER EVER want to have to look at that Error 500 Non-Existent Page Again.

Also, THIS WEBSITE IS ON MY RESUME; if it is Down For The Count when the people at N.O.A. or Comic Book Company was trying to look it up, they may peg me for some kind of looney or something. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 21:06, 24 August 2009 (CEST)

P.S.

I felt like I was almost on the verge of a Stress-Induced Heart-Attack back then "You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm comin' up to join ya, honey... Trolls Got Into My Website."

==Recent downtime (CCS)==

Sorry about all that, a troll known as "ominousmusic" or "geneva" falsely reported the site for abuse. Don't worry, we should be safe now! --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 07:04, 25 August 2009 (CEST)

==I see (WS)==

I have heard of that pedofork's possible input on the site's downtime. If it can happen to me on ED, it can happen to him; SEE if you can BLOCK HIS IP ADDRESS from accessing the Cwcipedia Site. If ED can block MY IP address from editing, there should be a method for blocking an IP address for blocking Trolls like ominousmusic or geneva.

In any case, I pray no one else tries that again. :( --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 19:33, 26 August 2009 (CEST)

==The License on the bottom of my Cwcipedia (WS)==

This "GDU FDL"; Please Get Rid Of It Now!

And from an e-mail I've just received,

From:

ATS <winwon@hotmail.de>

To:

ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com

Cc: Bcc: Date: Sun, Sep 6, 2009 9:37 am

Hey Chris,

I'm very glad to see that you gave up on your copyright and made your stuff open for the people (see pic). Now everyone is allowed to remix and upload your work everywhere. Sure, it's impossible to sell it now, but everyone can use it for free : )

THANKS!

I AM NOT GIVING UP ON MY COPYRIGHT! '''PLEASE GET RID OF THAT GDU FDL NOW!'''

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]] 20:33, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

==Here you are. (WS)==

[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Terms_of_use Official Terms of Use] and [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights Copyrights] Pages.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 22:35, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

==Copyright License (CCS)==

I deeply apologize, the owner of this webspace set the site up with a GNU FDL as a default to avoid any legal trouble. Please write a page detailing the terms of use for your website's content and I'll change it right away --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 20:46, 6 September 2009 (CEST)

* Thanks, I'll update it as soon as I can --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:14, 7 September 2009 (CEST)

==Just checking in (WS)==

I wanted to make sure you've noticed the update I did recently; more pages for the #9 Book. I still remain vigilant in the drawing and updates; please pay no attention to the trolls who tell you the lies and rumors of who maintains the copyright; ONLY I, Christian Weston Chandler, truly hold all the copyrights and whatnot. No Doubt About It.

And I will be updating the Cwcipedia more often, and I apologize for the delays and inconviences.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 00:00, 6 October 2009 (CEST)

==Copyright Warning (CCS)==

I've received a copyright claim, complete with genuine paperwork, from an individual claiming to be the owner of the Sonichu copyright. I'm afraid their claim is legally valid, so you have two options in order to keep using both the CWCipedia and Sonichu as a whole:

* Reach an agreement with the copyright holder.
* Prove that you are, beyond all reasonable doubt, actively using the Sonichu copyright. This pretty much has to be continuous use, i.e. 1 page a day minimum, otherwise the entirety of Sonichu will fall to the copyright holder.

If you can't do one of these things, then I'll have to hand the site over to the real owner of Sonichu. You have three days before their claim comes into effect, so please respond quickly. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 04:41, 11 November 2009 (CET)

* In light of your apparently valid copyright claim, it appears there's something of a dispute over the usage of the Sonichu copyright. In this situation, the solutions are for the most part the same as they were before:
:* Reach an agreement with the other copyright claimant. This could mean sharing the CWCipedia with them, or collaborating on Sonichu comics or artwork, or otherwise agreeing on how you will both use the copyright.
:* Proving you are actively using the copyright. As before, this means uploading a comic once a day. However, since both claims are disputed, the first claimant to produce proof of use(i.e. comics) will receive the copyright.

:In any case, I will be waiting to receive proof of active use from either you or the other claimant. It should also be noted that the other claimant has contacted Google to start displaying ads in the wiki sidebar. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:08, 13 November 2009 (CET)

==I've just read your message (WS)==

I know not of this other person you've referred to who is claiming copyright, but remain confident that I am using my Copyright as we speak.

I will start daily single pages tomorrow, the 14th; thank you for your continuing patronage, patience and faith in me.

Have a safe and good day.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 02:39, 14 November 2009 (CET)

==Fan mail page (CCS)==

I've been receiving a lot of emails from fans trying to contact you, so I've put them on a new page called the [[Mailbag]]. I'm sure your fans will appreciate a response, so you can reply by pasting <nowiki>{{EmailReply|, typing out your response, then adding }}</nowiki> afterwards.

Example:

<nowiki>{{Email|From: Example</nowiki>
 Hi Chris, this is an Example Email.}}
<nowiki>{{EmailReply|Thanks for your email, Example. This is an Example Reply.}}</nowiki>
Results in:
{{Email|From: Example

Hi Chris, this is an Example Email.}}
{{EmailReply|Thanks for your email, Example. This is an Example Reply.}}

Again, I'm sure your fans will appreciate a response. Keep up the good work! --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 19:27, 19 November 2009 (CET)

==A word of warning for future references (WS)==

Please Do Not Accept any more Messages from '''Gregg Mays''' <greggmays@gmail.com>; He is really '''Clyde Cash''', a MAJOR TROLL. Granted the message in the mailbag is non-offensive, and I responded to it kindly, BUT I have communicated with him numerous times, and HE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT A THORN IN MY SIDE THAT I LOATHE AND WOULD ONLY BE HAPPY TO REMOVE.

Thank you for understanding.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 05:19, 21 November 2009 (CET)

==The New Ad-Links (WS)==

I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:17, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Advertisements (CCS)==

I'm afraid it's out of my control, the other claimant has sold the ad space on CWCipedia to an individual named Mr. Jack Thaddeus who can be contacted at [mailto:jackthethadius@yahoo.com jackthethadius@yahoo.com]. I hope you can reach an agreement with them soon. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 03:31, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Jack Thaddius is a TROLL (WS)==

To quote myself from a recent music video on my YouTube, "What the hell were you thinking with that damn pickle suit?"

*deep breaths*

I'll deal with him myself. Please check with me before any similar deals take place.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 03:39, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==The Ad Image (WS)==

At least for the (UGH!!!) gay-rights ad, do I have the capabilities to create a less-offensive .png version of the ad and uploading it over the original image, and if so, how do I go along in doing that?

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 01:43, 29 November 2009 (CET)

== Advertisements (CCS) ==

I'm afraid it's out of my control, the other claimant has sold the ad space on CWCipedia to an individual named Mr. Jack Thaddeus who can be contacted at [mailto:jackthethadius@yahoo.com jackthethadius@yahoo.com]. I hope you can reach an agreement with them soon. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 03:31, 24 November 2009 (CET)

== Mailbag Issue (CCS) ==

Firstly, I want to thank you for your swift reply to the e-mail I sent you, and to inform you that I am going to work to get official sponsors to support the website. I will admit though, I was hoping that I had underestimated the Euro value. I will have those Damn Dirty Ads removed and replaced soon enough.

Second, in the Mailbag, Please No Longer Include any messages addressing '''Autisim or Aspergers''', or any that has even an inkling of '''homosexuality''' in it; I feel very stressed after having to read those messages; they really Grind My Gears.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 04:08, 7 December 2009 (CET)

*Thank you for your offer. But we can only accept sponsors from the EU as our company is stationed in Europe. We cannot pay for our servers with US dollars, and international banking laws for non profit organizations forbid us from using advertisements from large multinational corporations from the US or abroad. However, advertisements provided by individuals that advertise other websites are exempt from this rule. Unless you are a citizen from the EU, you cannot donate money to our website. We apologize for any inconvenience.

*If you are still interested. You are going to have to find someone who is a native EU citizen and convince them to donate to our website. Your best bet would be to talk to Jack Thaddeus about the ads as he has EU citizenship and is eligible to donate. Not to mention, due to his donations, he owns the ads in question. Should you be able to convince him, we could possibly reach an agreement. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:13, 7 December 2009 (CET)

==The revised ED Page (CCS)==

[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Chris_chan]]

I have just retyped and revised the text body of the Encyclopedia Dramatica webpage; Please look into the [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan page] for all the KEYWORDS they've put into their page and add them to the hidden Keyword List of [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|Our Page]].

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]] 03:32, 18 December 2009 (CET)

== The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS) ==

Remove the Ad that is there now and put it BACK in the side area; I will NOT have Ads in areas where they Do Not Belong. At least the current Ad is Non-Offensive, but I Do Not Care for the "You can join us, Chris" text underneath it; REMOVE THAT LINE ALTOGETHER.

Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, THE FIRST TIME, and maybe the second time as well, I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 18:24, 28 December 2009 (CET)

Actually, I have just found the way to fix that, but thank you for listening anyway.

And also, Let's put the Sonichu Twitter Feed Box, Square Space equivalent to the "Christian Says" Box, on the Front Page, between "Christian Says" and "Did You Know..." in that column, please.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]] 18:27, 28 December 2009 (CET)

== Common Questions (CCS) ==

Many e-mails from the mailbag have common questions, I have compiled them into a page here: [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Common_Questions Common Questions]. Since you've been behind on many mailbags, I think this might help. Still, you need to do the mailbags: You don't want to lose your fans again. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:27, 29 December 2009 (CET)

== Do NOT tamper with the advertisements (CCS) ==

We were paid by Jack Thaddeus to put those advertisements up there. He fulfilled all our payments for 2010 so he has the right to put whatever he wants. We were not paid by Coca Cola so why should we put up an advertisement for Coke? [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:25, 29 December 2009 (CET)

== Your password has also been reset. (CCS) ==

Someone has hacked into your account. Please check your e-mail for your new password. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 05:40, 29 December 2009 (CET)

== Do NOT TAMPER WITH THE ADS (CCS) ==

== More common questions (CCS) ==

I have put together a few more questions. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 04:51, 30 December 2009 (CET)



==Let me put it another way... (CCS)==

{{#ev:youtube|gILwSGqC3w8}}

I am Captain of this boat, and I do not like those who do not respect me and my wishes. If the crew wants me to REMOVE the "Straighten Out All Homo" Quote from the Introduction Image, as well as in the Feature Quote; ALL I ASK is for '''NO AD TO BE DISPLAYED IN THE INTRODUCTION BOX'''. Remove the Ad from the BOX, and I will remove the Quote from the image AND the Featured.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 23:04, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==I don't care what you do as long as you don't tamper with the ads (CCS)==
The advertisements and where they are placed are not up to you, Chris. Jack controls the ad space and may put ads where ever he pleases. The lock on the advertisements will stay in place unless Jack says otherwise. If you would like to talk to him about it his email is jackthaddeus@gmail.com. Please cease any further attempts to tamper with the ads. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 23:12, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)==

I ASK that the Ads be LIMITED ONLY onto the Side-Bar and NO WHERE ELSE. I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT Jack Thaddeus; HE IS NOT DOING HIS OWN HOMOSEXUAL MALE KIND ANY FAVORS by TICKING ME OFF LIKE HE HAS BEEN DOING.

I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already Snail-Mailed President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am NOT only the Mayor of Cwcville, VA, IN REAL LIFE as its Main Creator, but as such, without me, you would be just bored and not have my comics and stories to enjoy, and therefore, I am Captain of the Cwcipedia. I have full appreciation for being the Webmaster, but I will have Full Respect as Captain.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu]] 23:25, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==And without us, you would not have a personal mail sorter, a web host and an UNHACKABLE website (CCS)==
We have already thwarted two hacking attempts, and you continually get harassed by Clyde. We are protecting you from him. We have a team monitoring the site round-clock for you. How long have your old websites lasted once the trolls found them?

Jack Thaddeus paid for all our hosting for 2010. He will sue us if we do not put his ads up. These latest ads are not offensive in ANY WAY. There is nothing wrong with asking closeted gay Sonichu fans to come out. I do not see the offensiveness in these ads. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 23:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==Still, I DO NOT WANT ANY ADS IN THE INRODUCTION BOX (CCS)==

It is Most Unappropriate, and regardless of what ad is there, THERE SHOULD BE NO ADS ALLOWED WITHIN THAT BOX.--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 23:58, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== The main page is a very popular page (CCS)==
The main page gets the most hits. Jack will only be able to make his money back on the most popular pages. These ads feature no pornography and are very tasteful. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:06, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==I do not disagree with you on most hits (CCS)==

,And that no pornography is currently present, but the Introduction Box is NO Place for Ads, PLUS the Side-Bar gets his ads ALL AROUND the website; leaving any ad in the ONE BOX will only Limit it to that ONE PAGE, NOT ALL ARUOND.

== The ad is more noticeable because it is bigger. (CCS)==
[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:16, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==Size does not matter. (CCS)==

Reading from Left-To-Right in MOST Countries, as well as myself, I see the ads in the left first-off and Most Better anyway. Seeing the BIG Ad in the One Spot is as terrifying as the '''Flash Of Light at the Instant Millisecond of DEATH''', or even, technologically, the Blue Screen Of Death. And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 00:21, 1 January 2010 (CET)

==Many sites have ads on their main page: Yahoo.com, Youtube.com (CCS)==
I also have no idea what you're talking about with this flash of life. Contact Jack Thaddeus if you want to deal with him. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 00:24, 1 January 2010 (CET)

== What are you doing (CCS)==

Chris, what are you doing? We do not have any advertisement agreements with Coca-Cola. Plus, I do not think they want to be involved in anti-homosexual rhetoric. Please take all the ads you have put up down. If you do not I will take them down myself. You are threatening the stability of the CWCipedia. Please stop this. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 03:35, 2 January 2010 (CET)

== I said it once and I will say it again (CCS) ==

'''GIVE ME BACK CONTROL OF THE MAIN PAGE EDITINGS, PLEASE!''' This Alec is a damn bastard and a NO-GOOD TROLL. REFUSE HIS buyout into the Ad Placements onto the Cwcipedia. Regardless of image content, I want NO RETARDED ARTWORK OF HIS anywhere on MY Cwcipedia.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 06:11, 12 January 2010 (CET)

When the contract was signed, there could be a maximum of six ads placed anywhere on the CWCipedia. Jack may do whatever he pleases as he has paid for our hosting until the end of 2010. If you are unpleased with the ads, we suggest you wait until 2011 to discuss the terms. That is the agreement. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 07:28, 12 January 2010 (CET)

== The Main Page Twitter Box (CCS) ==

Can you please SET it to a SET Width so it does NOT stretch the width of the webpage where the Portal is OUT of my view and I have to scroll to the Right in order to find it at all?

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 05:09, 13 January 2010 (CET)

== PLEASE do something about this Ad Abuse (CCS) ==
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|The only ad not in the sidebar when Chris said this. Apparently helping earthquake victims is "Abuse".]]
NOT ONLY are they in the WRONG Places, but there are TOO BIG; Please SHRINK THEM DOWN or MOVE THEM ALL TO THE SIDE COLUMN.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 15:08, 18 January 2010 (CET)
*Unfortunately, I am legally unable to edit the relevant files. Please discuss these matters with the adspace holder, or the advertiser. --[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:WikiSysop WikiSysop] 21:35, 18 January 2010 (CET)

[[Category:CWCipedia]]

== The Mailbag is ONLY For Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville, Myself or thing ONLY ON Cwcipedia. (CCS) ==

Any questions or comments that may come in addressing ANYTHING POSITIVE on Asperchu or Alec, Evan, Sean, Mao or the Asperpedia, '''PLEASE REMOVE FROM THE MAILBAG DATABASE WITHOUT HESITATION.'''

I have also personally left the note in the 41st Mailbag that had NOTHING but those ANNOYING Questions and Comments that JUST GRIND MY GEARS AND PISS ME OFF. See below for the message I have left, and please leave it alone and add no more to this one mailbag:

''Chris copy pasted the response he put in [[Mailbag 41]]. To read it, please go [[Mailbag 41#Manifesto|here]].''

Thank you my Frogger-Playing friend.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 12:12, 19 January 2010 (CET)

== I have a suggestion. (CCS) ==
[[Image:FuckingHardcore.JPG|thumb|The ''Awesome'' ad in question]]
Considering the Current Image Alec has placed in the top area being bloody and gorey. F.Y.I., I was shocked at first sight of it, but I calmed down after a while. It's the same, more or less, when I watch a horror movie and see those parts (I have watched [[Saw]] 1-5; good story behind John, B.T.W.), but at least I have the knowledge that it's all Hollywood Magic.

Anyway, considering that, I recommend making the Whole Top Portion Hideable (able to hide it for good during the rest of the visit on the Cwcipedia), just like in the Mailbag or my Images in the [[Sonichu]] page where we have the option to hide or view it at ones own leisure or choice.

For me at least, being able to HIDE all of the "advertisements" in the top portion from view during my time on the Cwcipedia, I feel it would make my job more easy to cope with.

Also, I promise you, and ALL of my fans, even those who have left for Alec and his crew, aside from that One Time OUTSIDE of my Comic Book Pages, [[Sonichu 10|I would Never Ever draw Blood and Gore within my Comic Book Pages at all.]]

Thank you, Frogger.
Stay Safe and have a good day,
--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 12:19, 22 January 2010 (CET)

P.S.

I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE FORCED to Scroll Down EVEN to view the Log-In Box when Logging In, or even to SEE the Edit Box that I am typing in right now.

Also, I have ended the Raichu's Gender Dispute; she as always been FEMALE.

--[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User:ChrisChanSonichu ChrisChanSonichu] 18:48, 22 January 2010 (CET)
{{The Internet}}

IRC (24 October 2008)

2012-11-07T09:16:04Z

Chupathingy: small typo fix

On 24 [[October 2008]], Chris chatted with some fans.

==Summary==
*Chris dislikes the fan version of Sonichu ([http://i38.tinypic.com/10wtpn7.jpg])
*There will be no new Electric Hedgehog Pokémon in the next issue.
*Chris hopes that [[Jimmy Hill]]'s penis gets cut off.
*Bullshit about Classic [[PSP]] ads.
*Chris's family used to own geese, and one of them was infatuated with [[Bob]].
*"CWC" is engraved on the [[Amnyfest Ring]].
*Chris goes on about [[McDonald's]].
*Some day there will be Sonichu and Rosechu toys in Happy Meals.
*Marker ink is more professional than crayons.

==Transcript==
[06:54] * Guest (~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net) has joined #sonichu
 [06:54] * Guest is now known as Guest1
 [06:54] <'''Spankety'''> rofl
 [06:54] * Guest1 is now known as '''ChrisChanSonichu'''
 [06:54] <'''Spankety'''> WHOA IT'S HIM
 [06:54] * '''Spankety''' was kicked by '''[^_^]''' (Turn caps lock OFF!)
 [06:54] * '''Spankety''' (~'''Spankety'''@Rizon-681DE572.eastlink.ca) has joined #sonichu
 [06:54] <'''Richter'''> lol
 [06:55] <'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yep, I'm here. Hey, Y'all.
 [06:55] <'''Spankety'''> sup bossman?
 [06:55] <'''Viral'''> nah, it's [[jimmy hill]] trying to trick us
 [06:55] <'''Viral'''> he's such a liar
 [06:55] <'''Haihai'''> '''Spankety''' ssssht >:c
 [06:55] <'''Viral'''> and a fraud
 [06:55] <'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> no; I am Christian Weston Chandler.
 [06:55] <'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Cassey, tell them.
 [06:55] <@'''PandaHalo'''> hi ChrisChanSonichu :)
 [06:55] <@'''PandaHalo'''> it's him
 [06:55] <'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> :)
 [06:55] <'''Spankety'''> yeah I could tell by the address
 [06:55] * '''PandaHalo''' sets mode: +o '''ChrisChanSonichu'''
 [06:55] <'''peenpouncin'''> Hey Chris, welcome
 [06:55] <'''Spankety'''> ~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net
 [06:56] <'''Spankety'''> virginia!
 [06:56] <@'''PandaHalo'''> it's not very busy in here atm :(
 [06:56] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> thanks.
 [06:56] <'''Richter'''> Hello Chris
 [06:56] <'''Viral'''> well then, sorry, chris
 [06:56] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's fine; I'll still take any questions if there are any.
 [06:57] <'''Haihai'''> Chris have you seen the fangame someone is making yet and what do you think of it? http://i38.tinypic.com/10wtpn7.jpg
 [06:57] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Did Cassey inform the person who asked about my Halloween plans of my answer?
 [06:57] <'''Spankety'''> yeah she did :3
 [06:57] <@'''PandaHalo'''> yeah it was '''Spankety'''
 [06:57] <'''Viral'''> so what do you have planned for halloween?
 [06:58] <'''Viral'''> i heard something about a sonichu costume
 [06:58] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> nothing really.
 [06:58] <'''Viral'''> i c
 [06:58] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> at the moment, that rumor is incorrect.
 [06:58] <'''Viral'''> that's good, actually
 [06:58] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and I did not care for that game's portrayl of Sonichu; it made him look fat.
 [06:59] <'''Spankety'''> I think he looks cute ^_^
 [06:59] <'''Haihai'''> Hm you're right I see it too now
 [06:59] <'''peenpouncin'''> haha
 [06:59] <'''peenpouncin'''> he does kinda look fat
 [06:59] <'''Richter'''> and why is there some black guy with a jetpack
 [06:59] <'''Haihai'''> That appears to be a jetpack jerkop
 [06:59] <'''peenpouncin'''> ahh
 [06:59] <'''Richter'''> Ahh
 [06:59] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that is the correct assumption.
 [06:59] <'''peenpouncin'''> what ar eyou doing up at 7am chris?
 [07:00] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I had a lot of sleep beforehand.
 [07:00] <'''Spankety'''> peen... you must live close to me
 [07:00] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> IDK, '''Spankety'''; what state do you live in?
 [07:00] <'''peenpouncin'''> i live in virginia
 [07:00] <'''Spankety'''> oh nevermind
 [07:00] <'''Spankety'''> I'm Canadian rofl
 [07:01] <'''peenpouncin'''> haha
 [07:01] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yeah, because I live in Virginia.
 [07:01] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> lol
 [07:01] <'''peenpouncin'''> have you ever been to fredericksburg chris?
 [07:01] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yes, but only on the way to my Aunt Corina's house.
 [07:01] <'''peenpouncin'''> ahh yeah, that's where i'am :|
 [07:01] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> so only a few times.
 [07:02] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> neat.
 [07:02] * Niski (~Niski@Rizon-3D0AA07D.elisa-laajakaista.fi) has joined #sonichu
 [07:04] <'''Haihai'''> There have been rumors of a new hedgehog pokémon going to arrive in the next comic, do you want to share anything about that with us?
 [07:04] <'''Spankety'''> do you ever fart on your feet? the bubbly ones feel really good on it
 [07:05] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I think you are referring to Silvana Rosechu.
 [07:05] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and no, I do not, '''Spankety'''; that's gross.
 [07:07] <'''Spankety'''> are you going to do any updates soon?
 [07:07] <'''peenpouncin'''> any new videos?
 [07:07] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> not at the moment, but maybe in the near future.
 [07:07] * Guest (~Guest@Rizon-78AD0665.midco.net) has joined #sonichu
 [07:07] * Guest is now known as Guest1
 [07:07] * Guest1 is now known as '''TheTengu'''
 [07:08] <'''Spankety'''> ...from SL?
 [07:08] <'''TheTengu'''> I just beat Dead Space.
 [07:08] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it depends on my IRL events.
 [07:08] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Congratuations.
 [07:08] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I have Resistance 2 Beta now.
 [07:08] <'''TheTengu'''> How is it?
 [07:08] <'''peenpouncin'''> did you play mother 3 chris?
 [07:08] <'''Viral'''> is it good?
 [07:08] <'''Spankety'''> Tengu are you from Second Life?... lol
 [07:09] <'''TheTengu'''> lol nah
 [07:09] <@'''PandaHalo'''> christian, i was thinking maybe, as part of the fan site, we could run a sonichu contest, where people can submit custom characters, and winner is randomly chosen and gets a guest spot in a comic? it would generate a lot of sonichu hype and stuff
 [07:09] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I have not had a chance to play the Beta game yet.
 [07:09] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's an idea, Cassie.
 [07:09] <'''Haihai'''> Yeah Sonichu could really use some more hype right now, so people will see who the true original creator is
 [07:10] <'''Viral'''> come to think of, you participate in a lot of betas
 [07:10] <'''Viral'''> must be the perks of being sponsored by sony, right?
 [07:10] <'''Spankety'''> have you seen the latest screen shots of Jimmy Hill's new anime? Thoughts?
 [07:10] <'''Haihai'''> I think Chris just has good connections :)
 [07:10] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> How About this, and I would be willing to approve it; Custom Chracters, Full Fan Comics (5 Pages Minimum), and general Fanart.
 [07:10] <'''Richter'''> Who would watch anything from Jimmy Hill....seriously
 [07:10] * ClanTog (~KeaneSixt@Rizon-77E9CB31.phlapa.east.verizon.net) Quit (Quit: [17:37] <+Melon_Ninja> for your own good, use only 1 hand to do the kneading, otherwise you'll just make an insane mess [17:37] <+Melon_Ninja> and yes, do)
 [07:11] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and the Prize for the TOP 5, from MY hands only, a Sonichu Medal for each of the Top 5.
 [07:11] <'''peenpouncin'''> :o
 [07:11] <'''Haihai'''> Well most of your fans are young kids and they may not have the motivation to make a full fan comic... I don't know. But you're in charge ofcourse
 [07:11] <'''Spankety'''> Chris I must thank you personally for saving my life from boredom
 [07:12] <'''TheTengu'''> Jimmy Hill's still at it eh? (I've been gone for a week or so)
 [07:12] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> just ignore that Wabbit-Thief.
 [07:12] <'''Viral'''> i bet jimmy will steal the contest idea too
 [07:12] <'''Viral'''> he soooooo lacks creativity
 [07:13] <'''Haihai'''> Like he does with everything :S
 [07:13] <@'''PandaHalo'''> i hope somebody cuts off his penis
 [07:13] <'''Viral'''> then he'd steal someone elses
 [07:13] <'''Viral'''> gross
 [07:13] <'''peenpouncin'''> Lol
 [07:13] <'''Spankety'''> haha
 [07:13] <'''TheTengu'''> lol
 [07:13] <@'''PandaHalo'''> lol
 [07:13] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I have not made any official announcements about the contest yet, but should it go into effect, I will post it on Sonichu.net, and on the Fan Site.
 [07:13] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Me too, Cassie.
 [07:14] <'''TheTengu'''> What's the status of the comic? Haven't heard much since the preview came out.
 [07:14] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I hope he loses his duck.
 [07:14] <'''Haihai'''> It's fun when you come in here Chris, and it's fun to be one of the first to know about new Sonichu news
 [07:14] <@'''PandaHalo'''> its one of the perks of being true sonichu fans :)
 [07:14] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'm still working on the comic.
 [07:14] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yep. :)
 [07:14] <@'''PandaHalo'''> ChrisChanSonichu: we also have a bot in the channel now.. ^_^ will kick anyone from chat automagically if they write the word pickle or nigger or type in all caps
 [07:15] <'''Haihai'''> That should keep those trolls out
 [07:15] <@'''PandaHalo'''> if you have ops though (the @ next to your name) it wont kick you though
 [07:15] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yep.
 [07:15] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's good.
 [07:16] <'''Viral'''> let's hope those ED-trolls don't find a way to bypass this protection
 [07:16] <'''Viral'''> that would be hell
 [07:16] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I hear that.
 [07:16] <'''Spankety'''> they aren't smart enough
 [07:17] <'''Haihai'''> They get kicked and they'll think they got disconnected or something and wil just give up I think
 [07:17] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> let's change the subject; who here has enjoyed the Classic PSP TV ads with the pencil-drawn characters?
 [07:17] <'''Spankety'''> the squirrels?
 [07:17] <'''Viral'''> gotta check them on youtube, those never aired around here
 [07:17] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> The Squirrels, the one with the Mice and Dustball.
 [07:17] <'''TheTengu'''> The squirrels were win
 [07:17] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'd Hit That!
 [07:17] <'''Haihai'''> wat
 [07:18] <'''peenpouncin'''> :o
 [07:18] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> "Daxter on PSP, I'd Hit That."
 [07:18] <'''Spankety'''> the ghetto squirrels lol
 [07:18] <'''Viral'''> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHB-92kSkCk those?
 [07:18] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> also, "Come out and Play." "I can't; I'm playing nut." "But there's Portable Nut." "WWWHHHHAAAAAAT?!" "Yeah, it's a nut you can play with outside!" "PSP, it's like a nut, you can play with outside."
 [07:19] <'''Viral'''> lol
 [07:19] <'''Richter'''> Ok I didn't know what you were talking about, but now I do
 [07:19] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I've downloaded the classic Pencil-Character commercials from the PSP-ONLY website.
 [07:19] <'''Richter'''> Those commercials are funny
 [07:19] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> of the US.
 [07:19] <'''peenpouncin'''> good advertising, who doesn't want to play with nuts outside?
 [07:19] <'''TheTengu'''> I saw them on tv a few times back when I had cable.
 [07:19] <'''Spankety'''> I love nuts
 [07:19] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> hey, how about the "Mr. Goose" commercial featuring Dustball?
 [07:20] <'''Spankety'''> especially jiggling them in my hand
 [07:20] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> "Mr. Goose, what's happening?" "SQUAK!"
 [07:20] <'''Spankety'''> feels soooo gooood
 [07:20] <'''TheTengu'''> Lol geese are an evil lot
 [07:20] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Whatch it, Spankey Pig.
 [07:20] <'''Viral'''> they sure are
 [07:20] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I don't know about geese being evil.
 [07:20] <'''TheTengu'''> You ever been chased by a goose Chris?
 [07:20] <'''TheTengu'''> An angry one at that?
 [07:20] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> my family and I had pet geese.
 [07:21] <'''TheTengu'''> My grandpa had a guard goose.
 [07:21] * Guest (~Guest@Rizon-66C8476F.phil.east.verizon.net) has joined #sonichu
 [07:21] * Guest is now known as Guest1
 [07:21] <'''peenpouncin'''> lol
 [07:21] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> one of them was infatuated with my father.
 [07:21] * '''PandaHalo''' was kicked by '''[^_^]''' (Requested ('''PandaHalo'''))
 [07:21] <'''Viral'''> some geese can get mad for no reason
 [07:21] <'''peenpouncin'''> o.o
 [07:21] * '''PandaHalo''' (~Canda@Rizon-E22D879B.ip.adam.com.au) has joined #sonichu
 [07:21] * '''[^_^]''' sets mode: +o '''PandaHalo'''
 [07:21] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> we ended up giving the geese away.
 [07:21] <'''Viral'''> that's kinda scary when you're still a small kid and you just wanted to feed them
 [07:21] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> we had a total of 4
 [07:21] <'''TheTengu'''> lol no geese dinner?
 [07:21] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> NO
 [07:22] <'''Spankety'''> U
 [07:23] <'''Haihai'''> I you could transform into Chris-chan in real life, and kick some 'behind' without anyone finding out it was you, would you do it?
 [07:23] <'''Spankety'''> hellz yeah
 [07:23] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'd definitely go kick RickyRicardo123's teeth in.
 [07:23] <'''Viral'''> that would be totally awesome
 [07:23] <'''TheTengu'''> What would be the process? I imagine you wouldn't just go into a phone booth like Superman
 [07:23] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> as well as Jimmy Hill.
 [07:24] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> don't you read the comics?
 [07:24] <@'''PandaHalo'''> he'd touch his medallion!
 [07:24] <'''Haihai'''> I don't get it how you have so many enemies :S
 [07:24] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> the Transformation happens as drawn.
 [07:24] <'''TheTengu'''> Ah right. Bit sleep deprived x.x
 [07:24] <'''Viral'''> must be the jealousy
 [07:25] <'''Viral'''> or boredom in some cases
 [07:25] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> actually, if you'd read the Comic 10 preview pages, it changes from the Medal to my High School Ring; the Power has been in there THE WHOLE TIME since March 17, 2000.
 [07:25] <'''Haihai'''> So that ancient guy was wrong?
 [07:25] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> not really.
 [07:25] <'''peenpouncin'''> i still wear my high school ring :S
 [07:25] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> It took the event to awaken the power.
 [07:25] <'''peenpouncin'''> i wish it had powers
 [07:25] <'''Haihai'''> Ohh... that makes sense
 [07:25] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> well, mine is the ONLY ring of its kind.
 [07:25] <'''peenpouncin'''> 8(
 [07:26] <'''Viral'''> ;___;
 [07:26] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it has my initials engraved inside it.
 [07:26] <'''TheTengu'''> The One Ring..
 [07:26] <'''TheTengu'''> To Transform Chris-Chan?
 [07:26] <'''peenpouncin'''> mine has my first name written on the inside^^
 [07:26] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and it has my birthstone in it.
 [07:26] <'''peenpouncin'''> same with mine, but we probably have different stones.
 [07:26] <'''Haihai'''> I still have to finish highschool, I'm only 13...
 [07:27] <'''Spankety'''> as long as they aren't kidney
 [07:27] <'''Spankety'''> *ba dum bish*
 [07:27] <'''Haihai'''> It's really hard fitting in as a 13 year old girl with freckles
 [07:27] <'''peenpouncin'''> lol
 [07:27] <'''TheTengu'''> Chris, you ever watch the show Mighty Boosh? Check out the Old Gregg episode sometime.
 [07:27] <'''TheTengu'''> It's a hoot.
 [07:27] <'''Spankety'''> I'm old Gregg!
 [07:28] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> It's hard fitting in as a 13-year old high-function autistic person who is being mainstreamed...
 [07:28] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Oh, wait!
 [07:28] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> NO IT'S NOT!
 [07:28] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> :D
 [07:28] <'''Haihai'''> XD
 [07:28] <'''Viral'''> oh you
 [07:28] <'''Spankety'''> .jpg
 [07:28] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Seriously, I've had a LOT of great gal-pals in my Middle and High School years.
 [07:28] <'''Haihai'''> Grrr now there's tea all over the place and running from my nose
 [07:29] <'''Spankety'''> you drink tea?
 [07:29] <'''Haihai'''> I'm Brittish
 [07:29] <'''TheTengu'''> Do you still keep in touch with them or not so much?
 [07:29] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I drink tea too.
 [07:29] <'''Viral'''> stop drinking like a little piggy
 [07:29] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'm a little brit myself.
 [07:29] <'''peenpouncin'''> tea owns
 [07:29] <'''Spankety'''> I say arse
 [07:29] <@'''PandaHalo'''> :O
 [07:29] <@'''PandaHalo'''> i say arse too
 [07:29] <'''TheTengu'''> lol me too
 [07:29] <'''Spankety'''> :O
 [07:29] <@'''PandaHalo'''> omg we're so awesome! :D
 [07:29] <'''Haihai'''> I say delicious :)
 [07:30] <'''Spankety'''> butts aren't delicious
 [07:30] <'''TheTengu'''> I say proper a lot. Mostly from speaking with a danish friend.
 [07:30] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Tea for a dollar, in a Large Cup, at McDonalds; go Dollar-Menuaires! [''this is a reference to a McDonald's commercial'']
 [07:30] <'''Haihai'''> Let's go ghostbusters, let's go let's go
 [07:31] <'''TheTengu'''> *cue the gorilla runnin around*
 [07:31] <'''Spankety'''> ow my axles
 [07:31] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Has anyone here ever won any Big Prizes or Big Money from the McDonalds Monoply game?
 [07:31] <'''TheTengu'''> did you lose them?
 [07:31] <'''TheTengu'''> I won like a big mac
 [07:31] <'''peenpouncin'''> my dad won a free frosty the other day
 [07:32] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's a small instant-win prize.
 [07:32] <'''Spankety'''> I eat at Wendy's
 [07:32] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'm talking about getting ALL the pieces of a set.
 [07:32] <'''peenpouncin'''> mcdonalds hamburgers make me sick
 [07:32] <'''peenpouncin'''> wendy's is awesome
 [07:32] <'''Haihai'''> I haven't but there's a wet towel on my bathroom floor
 [07:32] <'''TheTengu'''> Wendys is pretty good
 [07:32] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yeah, it's alright.
 [07:32] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> but McDonalds is MORE VALUEable. :D
 [07:32] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and still good.
 [07:32] <'''Spankety'''> not if you eat the nuggets D:
 [07:33] <'''TheTengu'''> those nuggets are win
 [07:33] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> they're made with pure white chicken meat.
 [07:33] <'''Spankety'''> yeah but expensive lol
 [07:33] <'''Viral'''> i liek their 1â‚¬ deals
 [07:33] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> 4 for a dollar is a good deal.
 [07:33] <'''Spankety'''> wow
 [07:33] <'''Viral'''> their cheeseburgers are pretty good
 [07:33] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's chicken nuggets though.
 [07:33] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yes, especially their Double Cheeseburgers.
 [07:33] <'''Spankety'''> over here it's like 6 for 5
 [07:34] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> with no [[Pickle|dill]]
 [07:34] <'''Viral'''> we have the same 4 nuggets for a â‚¬
 [07:34] <'''Richter'''> Double Quarter Pounder w/ cheese is my mickey D's choice
 [07:34] <'''Viral'''> plus some sauce
 [07:34] <'''Haihai'''> If you don't mind me asking so many questions, what has been the greatest day of your life so far Chris?
 [07:34] <'''Viral'''> i wish they had more variety there
 [07:34] <'''Viral'''> you only get sweet and sour or bbq
 [07:34] <'''TheTengu'''> Big mac and maybe a shamrock shake is my choice
 [07:34] <'''Spankety'''> mcdonald's has awesome shakes
 [07:34] <'''Richter'''> omg I love shamrock shakes
 [07:35] <'''Viral'''> bbq tastes a bit funny if you ask me
 [07:35] <'''Spankety'''> and mcflurries
 [07:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> IDK, that's going to take some thought...
 [07:35] <'''Viral'''> flurries, fuck yeah
 [07:35] <'''Viral'''> those are awesome
 [07:35] <'''TheTengu'''> yeah they are
 [07:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'll get back to the fanbase with my answer.
 [07:35] <'''Viral'''> which one's your fave
 [07:35] <'''Haihai'''> Ok, thanks
 [07:35] <'''TheTengu'''> Oreo or Take 5
 [07:35] <'''Spankety'''> caramel oreo
 [07:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> for a McFlurrie?
 [07:35] <'''peenpouncin'''> oreo frosty ftw
 [07:35] <'''Viral'''> meh we don't even have those
 [07:35] <'''peenpouncin'''> or mcflurry rather
 [07:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I prefer M&Ms
 [07:36] <'''TheTengu'''> Are you dressin up for Halloween this year Chris?
 [07:36] <'''Spankety'''> I don't think they have m&ms at the one in my area
 [07:36] <'''Viral'''> we have kitkat, smarties or cornetto
 [07:36] <'''TheTengu'''> I'm going to a zombie walk this weekend, so I'm just using stuff from that :P
 [07:36] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it gives of a Rainbow Swirl color in the ice cream, and it's still very good. :)
 [07:36] <'''Spankety'''> the kitkat ones are fucking gross
 [07:36] <'''TheTengu'''> For a costume.
 [07:36] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> no.
 [07:36] <'''TheTengu'''> Smarties sounds bad.
 [07:36] <'''Viral'''> i always take smarties
 [07:36] <'''Spankety'''> nah the smarties are good
 [07:36] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I like smarties.
 [07:36] <'''Haihai'''> I hear they make you smart ;)
 [07:36] <'''Viral'''> sometimes they mess them up real bad though
 [07:36] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> lol
 [07:37] <'''Spankety'''> the kitkat ones don't even taste like kitkat
 [07:37] <'''TheTengu'''> I could see that. I don't mind smarties, kind of like pringles.
 [07:37] <'''TheTengu'''> Just not in a mcflurry sort of thing
 [07:37] <'''Viral'''> and the cornetto one is just silly
 [07:37] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> potato chips in ice cream? I don't think so.
 [07:37] <'''Richter'''> lol
 [07:37] <'''Spankety'''> lmao
 [07:37] <'''TheTengu'''> lol I've seen weirder things from japanese stores
 [07:37] <'''Viral'''> an icecream cone mixed into a mcflurry?
 [07:38] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's a great idea.
 [07:38] <'''Viral'''> what were they thinking?
 [07:38] <'''TheTengu'''> anchovie chips comes to mind
 [07:38] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> ugh
 [07:38] <'''Richter'''> ugh indeed
 [07:38] <'''Viral'''> i like anchovies
 [07:38] <'''Spankety'''> dill pickle chips in an cream root beer float haha
 [07:38] * '''Spankety''' was kicked by '''[^_^]''' (Watch your language!)
 [07:38] * '''Spankety''' (~'''Spankety'''@Rizon-681DE572.eastlink.ca) has joined #sonichu
 [07:38] <'''Richter'''> Nasty
 [07:38] <'''Viral'''> not in a mcflurry though
 [07:39] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I agree.
 [07:39] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> NOT for a McFlurrie.
 [07:39] <'''TheTengu'''> I had dill sunflower seeds once. Kind of interesting.
 [07:39] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> only Gonzo would like that.
 [07:39] <'''peenpouncin'''> have you ever played the world of warcraft chris? any interest in mmo's?
 [07:39] <'''Viral'''> i had a daim flurry in switzerland once
 [07:39] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> no.
 [07:40] <'''Viral'''> that was great
 [07:40] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'm not into PC games.
 [07:40] <'''Viral'''> probably ruins your teeth if you have too many
 [07:40] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> daim?
 [07:40] <'''Haihai'''> Chris I think it would be awesome if I would go eat at mcdonalds and then the happy meal suddenly includes a Sonichu or Rosechu figure
 [07:40] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> someday, my loyal fans, someday.
 [07:40] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> what's daim?
 [07:40] <'''Viral'''> crunchy butter almond bar covered in milk chocolate
 [07:40] <'''Viral'''> from sweden
 [07:41] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that DOES sound good.
 [07:41] <'''Viral'''> it is
 [07:41] <'''Richter'''> Is that like a Heath bar?
 [07:41] <'''Viral'''> candy
 [07:41] * '''BrianClough''' (~asdasdas@Rizon-554724AA.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has joined #sonichu
 [07:41] <'''Richter'''> err no that's toffee
 [07:41] <'''Viral'''> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Dime_bar.jpg
 [07:41] <'''TheTengu'''> lol Europe has a lot of good candies
 [07:41] <'''Viral'''> wikipedia spelt daim wrong >___<
 [07:42] <'''Spankety'''> Chris: cheese and pepperoni or combo pizza?
 [07:42] <'''Haihai'''> Chris is making everyone hungry with all this food talk ;)
 [07:42] <'''Viral'''> lucky for me i'm having lunch now
 [07:42] <'''BrianClough'''> hey cool the great man himself is here
 [07:43] <'''BrianClough'''> hi Chris
 [07:43] <'''TheTengu'''> No joke, I might make a sammich soon.
 [07:43] <'''Spankety'''> yes the lord has blessed us
 [07:43] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> a smore sammich? :D
 [07:43] <'''TheTengu'''> lol no marshmallow :(
 [07:43] <'''TheTengu'''> otherwise I would
 [07:43] <'''Haihai'''> marshmallow? More like marshMELLOW ;)
 [07:43] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> what's wrong with the marshmallow?
 [07:44] <'''Spankety'''> yellow is a mellow color
 [07:44] <'''TheTengu'''> Nothing, I just don't have any available
 [07:44] <@'''PandaHalo'''> i pronounce marshmallow as marshmellow
 [07:44] <'''Spankety'''> same
 [07:44] <'''TheTengu'''> So any hopes of Surfin' Bird kareoke?
 [07:44] <'''Viral'''> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwTHVZHqSb0
 [07:45] <'''Viral'''> lol i loved those armadillo ads
 [07:45] <'''peenpouncin'''> so is it true that you're single now chris?
 [07:46] <'''Haihai'''> How could Chris be single
 [07:46] <'''BrianClough'''> with so many fans
 [07:46] <'''peenpouncin'''> i know, i wouldn't believe it unless he said it here
 [07:46] <'''Haihai'''> Well it won't be for long that's for sure
 [07:46] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I am still single, and I'll find my Sweetheart soon.
 [07:46] <'''Haihai'''> If I were 5 years older... :)
 [07:46] <'''Spankety'''> If I had a china
 [07:46] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I'm going to check out for now, but I'll check in later. :)
 [07:46] <'''BrianClough'''> all the best in your quest chris
 [07:47] <'''peenpouncin'''> take care.
 [07:47] <'''Haihai'''> It was great seeing you here
 [07:47] <'''Richter'''> Take care Chris, thanks for stopping by to visit your loyal fans
 [07:47] <'''BrianClough'''> yeah thanks for dropping by!
 [07:47] <'''Viral'''> see ya later
 [07:47] <'''TheTengu'''> Record Surfin Bird :P
 [07:47] <'''TheTengu'''> Take care man
 [07:47] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> thank y'all; take care and stay safe.
 [07:47] <'''BrianClough'''> and please can we have a new comic soon :)
 [07:47] * @'''ChrisChanSonichu''' (~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net) Quit (Quit: '''ChrisChanSonichu''')

===Later===
[20:35] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net) has joined #sonichu
 [20:35] * Guest_ is now known as Guest1
 [20:35] * '''PandaHalo''' sets mode: +o Guest1
 [20:35] * Guest1 is now known as '''ChrisChanSonichu'''
 [20:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Hey, Y'all!
 [20:35] <@'''SonichuGal'''> !
 [20:35] <'''zezlez'''> Hello, I am from Australia.
 [20:35] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Hey Chris! Hope you're feeling better!
 [20:35] <'''BrianClough'''> w00t hey Chris!
 [20:35] <'''Orca'''> Oh snap!
 [20:35] <'''Spankety'''> hi
 [20:35] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I am, thank you.
 [20:35] <'''zezlez'''> diddle diddle
 [20:35] <'''Maxwell_House'''> ...nope, not right
 [20:36] <'''zezlez'''> I only just heard about Blanca
 [20:36] <'''zezlez'''> sorry to hear bro
 [20:36] <'''Maxwell_House'''> hey Chris
 [20:36] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> it's alright.
 [20:36] <@'''PandaHalo'''> if you noticed chris, some of the people in that email are in here now XD
 [20:36] <'''Stalyn'''> hey chris
 [20:36] <'''Spankety'''> XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
 [20:36] * '''Spankety''' was kicked by '''[^_^]''' (Turn caps lock OFF!�)
 [20:36] * '''Spankety''' (~'''Spankety'''@Rizon-681DE572.eastlink.ca) has joined #sonichu
 [20:36] <'''Stalyn'''> good to see you well
 [20:36] <'''BrianClough'''> yeah we can't wait to hear your answers!
 [20:36] * '''zezlez''' was kicked by '''PandaHalo''' (hahah fuck you retard�)
 [20:37] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-66C8476F.phil.east.verizon.net) has joined #sonichu
 [20:37] * Guest_ is now known as Guest1
 [20:37] * Jerkop is now known as '''Sonichu_Fan'''
 [20:37] <'''Spankety'''> I missed what he said
 [20:37] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's good, and in due time.
 [20:37] <'''Spankety'''> :(
 [20:37] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Monday isn't long.
 [20:37] <'''Maxwell_House'''> how goes the comic? Coloring that beast looks pretty labor-intensive!
 [20:37] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> if not sooner.
 [20:37] * Guest_ (~Guest@984FF181.E3477AC7.6DD738B1.IP) has joined #sonichu
 [20:37] * Guest_ is now known as '''sneeze'''
 [20:38] * spasticnerfbag (cgiirc@Rizon-174CDCC0.cfl.res.rr.com) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client�)
 [20:38] <@'''PandaHalo'''> maybe you could do it tomorrow suring the day?
 [20:38] <'''BrianClough'''> Chris have you ever thought about using a vector-graphics programme to make your comic
 [20:38] <'''BrianClough'''> like FireWorks or illustrator
 [20:38] <'''sneeze'''> As a gay person who enjoys Sonichu, who also has had multiple boyfriends and girlfriends, where does this put me on the moral scale for CWC productions?
 [20:38] * '''Rosey''' (cgiirc@Rizon-174CDCC0.cfl.res.rr.com) has joined #sonichu
 [20:38] <'''BrianClough'''> it makes it a lot easier to color in etc
 [20:38] <'''sneeze'''> And cleaner, crisper lines
 [20:38] <'''Maxwell_House'''> Chris, I drew up some fanart, I emailed it to you, did you get it?
 [20:39] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Please people, one at a time.
 [20:39] <'''Spankety'''> burn the gays
 [20:39] <'''BrianClough'''> and also if you want to change anything all of the parts can be moved about
 [20:39] <'''sneeze'''> Spankety: yeah because being gay is entirely a choice durrhurr
 [20:39] <'''EXKeine'''> It is a choice
 [20:39] <'''Spankety'''> yes
 [20:39] <'''Maxwell_House'''> well, yesh; it is
 [20:39] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I've never heard of Vector Graphics; sneeze, you are on thin ice, watch your step; which fan art was that, Maxwell_House?
 [20:40] <'''sneeze'''> Chris: Are you just jealous that I've been intimate with a girl before though?
 [20:40] * '''Mofo_P''' sets mode: +b *!*@984FF181.E3477AC7.6DD738B1.IP
 [20:40] <'''Rosey'''> Chris, would you ever consider switching from markers to crayons for your comics?
 [20:40] <'''BrianClough'''> well imagine something like ms paint but every shape that you draw can me moved around or resized
 [20:40] <'''Orca'''> I've also drawn some fanart and sent it to ya Chris.
 [20:40] * '''sneeze''' was kicked by '''SonichuGal''' (Don't diss Chris.�)
 [20:40] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> Chris, have you ever thought about using Flash to make Sonichu animations?
 [20:40] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> lol.
 [20:40] <'''Maxwell_House'''> just a simple line drawing of you pointing to sonichu as he leaps into action
 [20:40] <'''Orca'''> Dunno if you received it though...
 [20:41] <'''Rosey'''> I just think crayons would look nicer.
 [20:41] <'''BrianClough'''> flash is the next step up from something like Fireworks
 [20:41] <'''Maxwell_House'''> I could just link you to the image
 [20:41] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I prefer markers; better, more reliable tips, and they're more bold than crayons.
 [20:41] <'''Rosey'''> True.
 [20:41] <'''Bluecheese'''> but it looks kind of bad
 [20:41] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> plus, marker ink looks more professional than crayons.
 [20:41] <'''Bluecheese'''> and takes a loooong time to color with
 [20:41] <'''EXKeine'''> What about colored pencils? The colors blend better and you can get a finer tip with sharpening
 [20:41] <'''Rosey'''> Yeah!
 [20:41] <'''Bluecheese'''> good colored pencils look classy
 [20:41] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> IDK.
 [20:42] <'''Stalyn'''> ChrisChanSonichu, i think what others are asking would you ever consider using a computer to draw/color your comics?
 [20:42] <'''BrianClough'''> you could make them much more quickly and the computer takes care of things like shading
 [20:42] <'''Bluecheese'''> it would really speed things up and just not be so exhausting on yourself
 [20:42] <'''Maxwell_House'''> pastel crayons would allow you to have more blending power
 [20:42] <@'''SonichuGal'''> I was thinking pastel crayons. I remember using those in art class and they were pretty neat.
 [20:42] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I hand-draw the individual pages, then I retype the text in photoshop and fix some of the images, or add images in that program.
 [20:42] <'''EXKeine'''> Pastels are a bit hard to use right.
 [20:43] <'''Bluecheese'''> well you have photoshop
 [20:43] <'''Bluecheese'''> its very powerful
 [20:43] <'''Maxwell_House'''> they take some practice
 [20:43] <'''Bluecheese'''> and actually easy as all get out
 [20:43] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yep; so is [[LittleBiGPlanet]]. :D
 [20:43] <'''BrianClough'''> photoshop isnt good for vector stuff though
 [20:43] <'''Spankety'''> penis cheeks
 [20:43] <'''EXKeine'''> It's good for drawing, but so is OpenCanvas
 [20:43] <'''Bluecheese'''> no need for vector stuff in a web comic though
 [20:44] <'''Stalyn'''> ChrisChanSonichu, do you read any webcomics? and if so what are your favorites?
 [20:44] * '''PandaHalo''' sets mode: +b *!*@Rizon-681DE572.eastlink.ca
 [20:44] <'''Maxwell_House'''> Actually, if you make the line art on paper, and scan it into paint as pure black&white, you can use the bucket tool to color it
 [20:44] * '''Spankety''' was kicked by '''PandaHalo''' (i told you no more faggotry�)
 [20:45] <'''EXKeine'''> Yeah, that's what I do.
 [20:45] <'''EXKeine'''> Or did
 [20:45] <'''DOUKNOUKEM'''> Oh hey ChrisChanSonichu
 [20:45] <'''DOUKNOUKEM'''> how are you
 [20:45] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I am well, thank you.
 [20:45] <'''DOUKNOUKEM'''> did you make any little big planet levels yet
 [20:45] <'''EXKeine'''> Except I never used Photoshop and used the GIMP because it was free
 [20:45] <'''DOUKNOUKEM'''> this game with mgs4 really make me think of getting a ps3
 [20:45] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisChanSonichu: I remember seeing in your subcomics about a Sonichu Scrapbook, does this have the history of Sonichu in it?
 [20:46] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> if I did the line art then scan and paint, there would be A LOT of holes to patch up digitally.
 [20:46] <'''DOUKNOUKEM'''> and i'd like to play your little big planet levels if i eventually get a ps3
 [20:46] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> so paint doesn't spill outside.
 [20:46] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> If I may ask, do you use mechanical pencils for any of your drawings?
 [20:46] <'''Bluecheese'''> you can actually color it in like a coloring book
 [20:46] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> no
 [20:46] <'''Bluecheese'''> make the paint brush as big as you want
 [20:46] <'''BrianClough'''> what you can do is use the "magic wand" tool and set the tolerance higher
 [20:46] <'''Bluecheese'''> no no no
 [20:46] <'''Bluecheese'''> layers
 [20:46] <'''BrianClough'''> so you dont get any gaps
 [20:46] <'''Bluecheese'''> a multiply layer is all you need
 [20:47] <'''Bluecheese'''> no magic wand, not white spaces
 [20:47] <'''Bluecheese'''> you just just color over it like a coloring book
 [20:47] <'''Bluecheese'''> and you can erase the color without messing up your lines
 [20:47] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I feel better hand-coloring the drawings.
 [20:48] <'''BrianClough'''> what ever's best for you tbh
 [20:48] <'''Bluecheese'''> well thats whats important
 [20:48] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisChanSonichu: I remember seeing in your subcomics about a Sonichu Scrapbook, does this have the history of Sonichu in it?
 [20:48] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> You should. Mechcanical pencils are a lot more efficient than ordinary ones if you know how to use them.
 [20:48] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> basically, yes
 [20:48] <'''Maxwell_House'''> Are we going back to the sonichu balls story arch, or are we focusing on the dude that stole the medallion?
 [20:48] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I prefer pen.
 [20:48] * JohnBarnes (~JohnBarne@8C5C2E16.6029BC75.36443E58.IP) has joined #sonichu
 [20:48] <'''EXKeine'''> What kind of pen?
 [20:48] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> Pentel RSVP
 [20:48] <'''BrianClough'''> didn't you have a degree in CAD or something
 [20:48] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Nice choice.
 [20:48] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Pentel makes a fine pen.
 [20:48] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> yes; two CADD degrees.
 [20:49] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisChanSonichu: COuld you consider uploading it? I'd like to see the development of Sonichu and Bionic and all the other characters from a young age
 [20:49] <'''BrianClough'''> two? wow
 [20:49] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> IDK; THAT'S A LOT OF ART TO MEMORIZE ONLINE in my FTP
 [20:49] <'''BrianClough'''> I bet you could design a car engine
 [20:49] <@'''Mofo_P'''> We don't know much about how you actually came up with them, it'll be very informative IMO
 [20:49] <'''EXKeine'''> Other than CADD, what kinds of classes did you take in school?
 [20:50] <@'''PandaHalo'''> i would also like to see your sonichu scrap book
 [20:50] <@'''SonichuGal'''> As would I. I'd like to see the evolution of your artistic style.
 [20:50] <@'''PandaHalo'''> maybe you could mail it to me and i could send it back to you after i've had a look?
 [20:50] <'''Maxwell_House'''> I would like to take a look at the book
 [20:50] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> a varitey; math, english, science, ART, 2-years of Spanish, HTML, P.E. and more.
 [20:50] * Guest_ (~Guest@DB149B83.FF11B0B7.9F71A1C6.IP) has joined #sonichu
 [20:50] * Guest_ (~Guest@DB149B83.FF11B0B7.9F71A1C6.IP) Quit
 [20:50] <'''Stalyn'''> ChrisChanSonichu, why do you think people troll you?
 [20:50] * Guest_ (~Guest@DB149B83.FF11B0B7.9F71A1C6.IP) has joined #sonichu
 [20:50] <'''BrianClough'''> because they have no life
 [20:50] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> that's the answer
 [20:50] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> Exactly
 [20:51] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Because they're mean >:/
 [20:51] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> and for the Cheap Laughs.
 [20:51] <'''Stalyn'''> yeah but why YOU?
 [20:51] <'''Stalyn'''> why not someone else
 [20:51] * Guest_ is now known as '''X1800SD'''
 [20:51] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I KNOW.
 [20:51] <'''Laurie'''> Hi Chris!
 [20:51] <@'''PandaHalo'''> maybe you could mail your sonichu scrap book to me and i could send it back to you after i've had a look?
 [20:51] <'''BrianClough'''> a lot of them are jealous of his talents
 [20:51] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I ask that question as well; I guess all those celebs have been fully played out.
 [20:51] <@'''Mofo_P'''> That is curious, of all people to go after they chose you, a poet & artist
 [20:52] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Let's not forget a storyteller.
 [20:52] <'''Bluecheese'''> bard
 [20:52] <'''Stalyn'''> Do you think your work will only be fully appreciated until after your death.. like Van Gogh?
 [20:52] * '''kicker_''' (~chatzilla@Rizon-6A04C988.mpls.qwest.net) has joined #sonichu
 [20:53] <@'''SonichuGal'''> I think this chat shows that isn't the case.
 [20:53] <@'''SonichuGal'''> We all fully appreciate Chris' art! =D
 [20:53] <'''Maxwell_House'''> would someone else draw them for you?
 [20:53] <'''BrianClough'''> yeah and we want to see MORE :)
 [20:53] * GuySonich1 (~kyo@Rizon-A69A4575.adsl.hansenet.de) has joined #sonichu
 [20:53] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> why ask such a question; it's being appreciated now, by y'all, so thank you all. :)
 [20:53] <'''DoctorWily'''> Whoa, I'm late to the party, hi there Chris :D
 [20:53] <'''Bluecheese'''> oh! Chris would you ever consider doing a colab comic?
 [20:53] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> colab?
 [20:54] <'''Maxwell_House'''> colaboration
 [20:54] <'''EXKeine'''> Doing a comic with another artist
 [20:54] <'''Bluecheese'''> a team up
 [20:54] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> *collaboration
 [20:54] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I have someone in mind.
 [20:54] <'''Maxwell_House'''> riiight
 [20:54] * GuySonichu (~kyo@Rizon-79F409C9.adsl.hansenet.de) Quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds�)
 [20:54] <'''Laurie'''> Have you ever considered commissions?
 [20:54] <'''Maxwell_House'''> neat
 [20:54] <@'''SonichuGal'''> '''Laurie''', I don't think Chris is a sellout.
 [20:55] <'''Maxwell_House'''> fair enough
 [20:55] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> she is right; I am not a sellout.
 [20:55] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisChanSonichu: COuld you give a definition of "Anchuent Powers"? Are they like ancient powers?
 [20:55] <'''Bluecheese'''> its not selling out to be succesfull
 [20:55] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> then, I would be a man-slut. lol
 [20:55] <'''Maxwell_House'''> but you wannt this to be a career, right?
 [20:55] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> YES
 [20:55] <'''X1800SD'''> A TRUE Artist works alone!
 [20:55] <'''BrianClough'''> yeah not like certain evil people who just steal ideas for money
 [20:55] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> maybe.
 [20:55] <@'''ChrisChanSonichu'''> I agree.
 [20:55] <@'''PandaHalo'''> ChrisChanSonichu.. have you ever considered polygamy?
 [20:55] <'''Laurie'''> Ah, I'm sorry. I just thought that since your art's so amazing, people would want to pay you to do it.
 [20:55] <'''Bluecheese'''> no they dont Brian
 [20:56] <'''X1800SD'''> Love is Dead
 [20:56] <'''Bluecheese'''> well...yeah
 [20:56] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisChanSonichu: COuld you give a definition of "Anchuent Powers"? Are they like ancient powers?
 [20:56] <'''X1800SD'''> The only true Love is the love one has for himself
 [20:57] <'''BrianClough'''> Chris have you ever heard of a guy called Stephen Wiltshire? he's a bit like you, amazingly talented artist with autism
 [20:57] <'''EXKeine'''> Polygamy isn't a Christian value...
 [20:57] <'''kicker_'''> i'd just like to know why chris hates the x-box so much
 [20:57] <'''BrianClough'''> I think you'd like his work
 [20:57] <'''Maxwell_House'''> ex-bawks
 [20:57] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Chris has expressed his reasons for disliking the HEX BOX before.
 [20:57] <'''X1800SD'''> xbox is made by microsoft
 [20:57] <@'''SonichuGal'''> I'm sure '''PandaHalo''' will post the chat logs for future reference soon.
 [20:57] <'''kicker_'''> what were they
 [20:57] <'''Maxwell_House'''> yes it is!
 [20:57] <'''EXKeine'''> Hey Chris, what are your favorite and least favorite foods?
 [20:57] <'''X1800SD'''> I mean Micro$oft
 [20:57] <'''Maxwell_House'''> in order!
 [20:57] <@'''SonichuGal'''> I've been wondering that myself, '''EXKeine'''.
 [20:58] <@'''PandaHalo'''> do you mean this chat chat logs?
 [20:58] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Logs of previous chats with Chris, I mean. So people can see previous Q&As with Chris =D.
 [20:59] <'''EXKeine'''> I have logs but I'd have to go through and cut out the Q&A parts.
 [20:59] <@'''Mofo_P'''> I'd like to suggest posting previous chatlogs to the Q&A section of the new fansite
 [20:59] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Yeah, '''Mofo_P''' has the right idea =D!
 [21:00] <'''Bluecheese'''> Chris, do you like other comics? Like Marvel or DC?
 [21:00] <'''Bluecheese'''> I looove Marvel
 [21:00] <'''Maxwell_House'''> is he still there?
 [21:01] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Chris, if you'd like, we can moderate the chat so only one person can ask you a question at a time, if that would be easier for you.
 [21:01] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Yes, if this is a new format for you then we can moderate it more to your pace
 [21:02] * '''BILLY_MAYS''' (~fakeemail@Rizon-AA1237ED.prvdri.east.verizon.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:03] <'''Maxwell_House'''> Billy Mays, we missed you!
 [21:03] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Weclome '''BILLY_MAYS'''! Tonight CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER is here to field your questions!
 [21:03] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> I miss my license to scream.
 [21:03] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> srsly?
 [21:03] <'''Maxwell_House'''> we all do
 [21:03] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Yews
 [21:03] <@'''Mofo_P'''> The True Creator of the Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon is here
 [21:03] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Accept no immitations!
 [21:04] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Did I get it right, ChrisCHanSonichu?
 [21:04] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> Wow, how lucky are we?
 [21:04] <'''Bluecheese'''> Official and Originial
 [21:04] <'''Orca'''> Extremely lucky
 [21:04] <'''X1800SD'''> As a fellow Artist, I am honoured
 [21:04] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> I'm going to need a few minutes to think, I wasn't anticipating this bonus
 [21:04] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> Chatting with fellow fans was a treat in itself
 [21:05] * '''Spunkety''' (~'''Spunkety'''@32033900.CF758F80.C2A87CD0.IP) has joined #sonichu
 [21:05] <'''Bluecheese'''> he's probobly Skyp'n right now
 [21:06] * '''kicker_''' (~chatzilla@Rizon-6A04C988.mpls.qwest.net) Quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.83 [Firefox 3.0.3/2008092417]�)
 [21:10] <'''X1800SD'''> A quiet room
 [21:10] * '''Spunkety''' belches.
 [21:10] <'''DoctorWily'''> not anymore
 [21:10] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Excuse you!
 [21:10] <'''BrianClough'''> it's a hushed silence
 [21:10] <@'''SonichuGal'''> '''Spunkety''', that is.
 [21:10] <'''X1800SD'''> Back to life
 [21:11] <'''Maxwell_House'''> We're just waiting on Chris to answer some questions and such
 [21:11] <@'''Mofo_P'''> ChrisCHanSonichu could you respond?
 [21:11] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Are you OK?
 [21:11] <'''Maxwell_House'''> hmm...
 [21:11] <@'''Mofo_P'''> We know you suffered some really bad times earlier this week...
 [21:11] <@'''PandaHalo'''> he's busy talking to me on skype atm hang on a sec guys
 [21:11] <@'''Mofo_P'''> And we're here to offer words of Trust and Friendship
 [21:11] <'''X1800SD'''> I will disturb him not.
 [21:12] <'''X1800SD'''> Trust no one but your self.
 [21:12] <'''Spunkety'''> and McCain
 [21:12] <@'''[^_^]'''> If anyone messes with CWC, they'll have me to answer to. :|
 [21:12] <'''Bluecheese'''> robot dance
 [21:12] <'''X1800SD'''> I hope so.
 [21:12] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Thank you facebot
 [21:13] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Our Digital Friend
 [21:13] <'''Maxwell_House'''> Anime smiley, s there anything you can't do?
 [21:13] <'''Spunkety'''> make pretzels
 [21:13] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-924C11D2.asm.bellsouth.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:13] <'''Maxwell_House'''> I could believe that
 [21:13] <'''X1800SD'''> >^..^<
 [21:13] <'''Spunkety'''> ^ furry?
 [21:13] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-924C11D2.asm.bellsouth.net) Quit
 [21:14] <'''X1800SD'''> Black Cat
 [21:14] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> I'd listen to Anime Smiley. I for one think he is an awesome guy that has never done anything objectionable in his moderation of this chat.
 [21:14] <'''Maxwell_House'''> He doesn't afraid of anything
 [21:14] <'''EXKeine'''> Anime smiley is a pretty cool guy
 [21:14] <'''Maxwell_House'''> indeed
 [21:15] <'''Maxwell_House'''> P&A Bear!
 [21:15] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> I liek Anime Smiley
 [21:15] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> Me too. We have a great history.
 [21:15] <'''Maxwell_House'''> I wish I had a P&A Bear!
 [21:15] <@'''Mofo_P'''> facebot, say a few words
 [21:15] <@'''Mofo_P'''> Enlighten us with your knowledge
 [21:16] * '''Spunkety''' (~'''Spunkety'''@32033900.CF758F80.C2A87CD0.IP) Quit (Remote host closed the connection�)
 [21:16] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-924C11D2.asm.bellsouth.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:16] * Guest_ is now known as '''DIMMY_HIWW'''
 [21:16] <'''DIMMY_HIWW'''> Hey guys
 [21:16] <'''DIMMY_HIWW'''> Whats da update?
 [21:16] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> >:(
 [21:16] <'''BILLY_MAYS'''> Ugh.
 [21:16] <'''Maxwell_House'''> ...not now!
 [21:16] <'''DIMMY_HIWW'''> What?
 [21:16] <'''Maxwell_House'''> go away
 [21:16] <'''X1800SD'''> Darkness
 [21:16] <'''BrianClough'''> go away
 [21:16] <'''DIMMY_HIWW'''> whats wrong?
 [21:16] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> D:<
 [21:17] <'''X1800SD'''> Death
 [21:17] <@'''DannyMothman'''> EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET CWC SPEAK
 [21:17] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> Gtfo
 [21:17] <@'''SonichuGal'''> No naughty language, Danny!
 [21:17] <'''Maxwell_House'''> gtfo!
 [21:17] <@'''SonichuGal'''> There might be children here.
 [21:17] <'''X1800SD'''> I bow to The Artist
 [21:17] <'''Rosey'''> lol
 [21:18] <'''Sonichu_Fan'''> Hi Rosey
 [21:18] <'''Rosey'''> Hello!
 [21:18] * Retrieving #sonichu modes...
 [21:18] * '''SonichuGal''' sets mode: +m
 [21:18] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Okay, the chat is now moderated.
 [21:18] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Only mods can speak.
 [21:19] <@'''SonichuGal'''> When Chris returns, we'll take questions one by one.
 [21:19] * '''Spunkety''' (~'''Spunkety'''@Rizon-E433513C.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:19] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Thanks for your cooperation ^__^.
 [21:19] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-9F04BEB0.asm.bellsouth.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:19] * '''Richter''' (~fake@Rizon-1D2C35BC.dsl.klmzmi.sbcglobal.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:20] <@'''DannyMothman'''> finally
 [21:21] <@'''DannyMothman'''> ok you have a question for CWC PM me or another mod
 [21:21] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Yes.
 [21:23] * '''falsion''' (~yes@Rizon-F1FF1CD2.nap.wideopenwest.com) has joined #sonichu
 [21:23] * '''[^_^]''' sets mode: +o '''falsion'''
 [21:24] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-9F04BEB0.asm.bellsouth.net) Quit
 [21:24] * Guest_ (~Guest@Rizon-9F04BEB0.asm.bellsouth.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:26] <@'''DannyMothman'''> patience
 [21:26] <@'''DannyMothman'''> lol
 [21:27] <@'''DannyMothman'''> PM me if you need updates
 [21:28] * '''cogsdev'''_ (~coggins@Rizon-91DEDA2A.plusnet.pte-ag2.dyn.plus.net) has joined #sonichu
 [21:30] * '''cogsdev''' (~coggins@Rizon-39D28613.plusnet.pcl-ag01.dyn.plus.net) Quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds�)
 [21:31] * @'''PandaHalo''' (~Canda@Rizon-F5F3EE2D.ip.adam.com.au) Quit
 [21:32] <@'''SonichuGal'''> In the meantime, we'll be holding a dating education class.
 [21:32] <@'''SonichuGal'''> Based on dating advice given by Christian Weston Chandler.
 [21:32] <@'''SonichuGal'''> So PM your dating questions to me or Danny and we will field them.
 [21:32] <@'''DannyMothman'''> yes
 [21:32] <@'''DannyMothman'''> professor mothman at your service
 [21:33] <@'''DannyMothman'''> PM me if you have a question for the professor
 [21:33] * @ChrisChanSonichu (~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net) Quit (Quit: ChrisChanSonichu�)

{{FanChats}}
[[Category: IRC]]

Chris Sex Videos

2012-11-06T08:48:22Z

Chupathingy: Video was deleted, though why the blue FUCK someone would ever want to see this abomination completely escapes me.

{{Honest}}

On 25 September [[2008]], [[Christian]] recorded himself making '''sex videos'''. They involved him making disturbing animal impressions, disrobing, and then finally [[masturbating]] and ejaculating into a [[Fapcup|clear plastic cup]]. Chris was apparently chatting with then-future heartsweet [[PandaHalo]] while gratifying himself ''in his parents' kitchen''. These videos were recorded near the height of Chris's relationship with [[Blanca]], almost a month before she officially broke up with him and only four days before Chris sent her a [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|letter]] pledging his undying love.

The background for the videos is [[Chris's kitchen|the Chandler family kitchen]], which is piled high with junk. This is also where the family PC is located. The short video clips were taken with a webcam and are completely silent, adding to the overall sense of terror.

This is the same room where Chris was later [[Bob Walks In|caught]] masturbating.

==Chrischan the Elephant==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chrischan the Elephant
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Q-qFR5AyYMs}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Panda|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Chan_Update_24_September_2008#Video|Chris Chan Update September 24, 2008]]
| next = [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_the_Chicken|Chrischan the Chicken]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

Chris makes a terrifying, bug-eyed face at the computer screen and shakes his head. He then turns to the side, puts his curved hand up to his mouth, and bangs his head back and forth.

==Chrischan the Chicken==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chrischan the Chicken
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Yx3lGNvDZi0}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Panda|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_the_Elephant|Chris-Chan the Elephant]]
| next = [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_Undressing|Chrischan Undressing]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Chris stands, and repositions the webcam to better show off his body. He is smiling. He puts his arms near his nipples and begins flapping his arms, mimicking a bird. He opens his mouth in a pained, silent scream and rears his head back. He sits down at the computer and repositions the webcam once again, smug and contented.

==Chrischan Undressing==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chrischan Undressing
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4AbZCCS5w28}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2008]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Panda|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Chris_Sex_Videos#Chrischan_the_Chicken|Chrischan the Chicken]]
| next = [[We're_Being_Watched#Video|Chris Chan Aeon Flux 100408]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Chris smiles a disturbing smile and types on the keyboard. He then suddenly pulls up his green polo shirt, revealing a separate, red T-shirt underneath — the sleeves of the red shirt are clearly visible — although the bottom of the red T-shirt stops just below his large, flabby breasts, forming a kind of improvised [[sports bra]]. The red shirt is apparently tight enough to function as a support garment, and may have belonged to Chris when he was a young child.

Chris unbuttons and struggles with his ill-fitting green polo shirt, grimacing with effort, eventually pulling it over his head. The red shirt comes off with it. Chris, shirtless and wearing a Sonichu medallion, repositions himself on the chair. He smiles a creepy, forced smile.

==Long.mp4==

[[Image:CWCmassdebate.jpg|thumb|right|Chris jerks off in his own kitchen, making it even less sanitary than usual. Also: animal impersonations.]]The webcam is positioned below Chris's testicles. They are shaved, as is his entire pubic area. Chris strokes his erect penis with his left hand, and seems to use his middle and ring finger to do most of the work. His index finger appears to be pressing into his middle finger to provide extra force. This is oddly similar to how he holds a pencil.

Chris's manboobs jut out from his body alarmingly at this angle, like tiny mountains. Chris looks off camera, presumably at the computer monitor.

(This file is included in the .zip downloadable [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hmxmygbkjo4 here])

==Jizz.flv==

Chris strokes his erect penis with his right hand. His flabby torso and disproportionately large nipples are the only other things in the frame. His skin is an odd, inhuman tone, much like the inside of a McDonald's french fry viewed under fluorescent lighting. This is possibly due to a glow from a computer monitor, or some kind of unholy aura Chris emits while ejaculating.

A [[Fapcup]] appears. Chris positions it below the head of his penis. Chris's [[Dirty crapped briefs]] come into the frame. They are gray with filth, although no actual fecal matter is visible. Chris begins ejaculating and catching his semen in the small cup, which appears to be slightly wider than the head of his penis. Chris lets go of his penis. His glans appears to be swollen to the size of a chicken egg, possibly due to the penile fracture that put a bend in his penis, or his retarded death-grip, or both. Either way, it is [[Giant Penis Comic|out of proportion]] to the shaft.

Chris appears to fumble with the cup off camera. His penis is in full view, limply resting against his briefs but still apparently engorged. An [[fanta|orange object]] flashes past.

Chris leaves the frame to do [[Recycling|who knows what]].

(This file is included in the .zip downloadable [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hmxmygbkjo4 here])

== See also ==
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hmxmygbkjo4 Video files]</s> DELETED

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]]|nextlink=[[We're Being Watched]]|}}
[[Category:Leaked videos]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2008| 25]]
[[Category:PandaHalo Saga videos| 2008-09-25]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2008-09-25]]

Mass debating

2012-11-06T08:42:10Z

Chupathingy: just making it a tad more coherent.

{{Honest}}

{{Quote|I've actually done it to myself so many times, even with a hunk of- even with [[Kimmi|an inflatable plastic woman]] ''[...]'' I've done it so much, it's like, you know, I can't even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that ''[...]'' It's like, you know, my body got used to it|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Democrats_mass_debate.jpg|thumb|right||Democratic Presidential Candidates mass debating correctly.]]

'''Mass debating''' is the [[CWC-ism]] for the act of '''masturbation'''.

On Valentine's Day 2009, [[Bob Chandler|his father]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on his son mass debating, leading to [[Chris]]'s [[Internet]] being cut down.

==Discovery==
[[Image:ILikeToPlayGamesToo.jpg|thumb|Now, imagine Chris fapping.]]

Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "I Like to Play Games Too", and I just figured it out for myself.}}

When he first started mass debating, he did so by lying face down on his bed and rubbing his [[duck]] with a washcloth.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|BlueSpike PSN Chat III]]</ref> In early 2009 he would sit on the bathroom washbasin during the act.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/> In [[Ivy Q&A#Comics|Ivy's Q&A]] it was mentioned that Chris has used his pillow, folded in half, as a masturbation tool.

He has informed his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] of his "mass debating" habit.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/>

==Frequency==
[[Image:faptotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right||TO THE EXTREME!]]
{{quote|And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on his mass debating.<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997802418#The_Megan_Saga Chris's MySpace blog, via ED.]</ref>}}

While it is assumed by many that Chris has an uncontrolled sex drive and spends his days whacking it, the opposite is true. Rather, Chris has admitted to whacking off at least twice per week (based on chats{{cite}}, it seems that he limits it to twice). Possible factors for this include the fact that he has a bent [[duck]] which would make masturbation painful, in addition to a possibly low libido due to an unhealthy life style which may make it hard for him to maintain an erection. The sex audio with [[Julie]] seems to indicate that it takes Chris around twenty minutes to orgasm, which means that masturbation for Chris must be physically exhausting. Also, Chris was at one point prescribed the anti-depressant Paxil, which from what was heard from him caused some sort of sexual side effect, perhaps slowing down his ability to orgasm.<ref>[[Chris and psychology]]</ref>

Chris also told [[Kacey]] that he has masturbated so much that it no longer brings him much pleasure. However, this is a misguided plea for pity sex.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Semen]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}
[[category:CWC-isms]]

Mass debating

2012-11-06T08:40:43Z

Chupathingy: spelling errors godamn.,..

{{Honest}}

{{Quote|I've actually done it to myself so many times, even with a hunk of- even with [[Kimmi|an inflatable plastic woman]] ''[...]'' I've done it so much, it's like, you know, I can't even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that ''[...]'' It's like, you know, my body got used to it|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Democrats_mass_debate.jpg|thumb|right||Democratic Presidential Candidates mass debating correctly.]]

'''Mass debating''' is the [[CWC-ism]] for the act of '''masturbation'''.

On Valentine's Day 2009, [[Bob Chandler|his father]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]] on his son mass debating, leading to [[Chris]]'s [[Internet]] being cut down.

==Discovery==
[[Image:ILikeToPlayGamesToo.jpg|thumb|Now, imagine Chris fapping.]]

Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "I Like to Play Games Too", and I just figured it out for myself.}}

When he first started mass debating, he did so by lying face down on his bed and rubbing his [[duck]] with a washcloth.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|BlueSpike PSN Chat III]]</ref> In early 2009 he would sit on the bathroom washbasin during the act.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/> In [[Ivy Q&A#Comics|Ivy's Q&A]] it was mentioned that Chris has used his pillow, folded in half, as a masturbation tool.

He has informed his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] of his "mass debating" habit.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/>

==Frequency==
[[Image:faptotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right||TO THE EXTREME!]]
{{quote|And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on his mass debating.<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997802418#The_Megan_Saga Chris's MySpace blog, via ED.]</ref>}}

While it is assumed by many that Chris has an uncontrolled sex drive and spends his days whacking it, the opposite is true. Rather, Chris has admitted to whacking off at least twice per week (based on chats{{cite}}, it seems that he limits it to twice). Possible factors for this include the fact that he has a bent [[duck]] which would make masturbation painful, in addition to a possibly low libido due to an unhealthy life style which may make it hard for him to maintain an erection. The sex audio with [[Julie]] seems to indicate that it takes Chris around twenty minutes to orgasm, which means that masturbation for Chris must be physically exhausting. Also, Chris was prescribed at one point the anti-depressant Paxil, which from what was heard from him caused some sort of sexual side effect, perhaps slowing down his ability to orgasm.<ref>[[Chris and psychology]]</ref>

Chris also told [[Kacey]] that he has masturbated so much that it no longer brings him much pleasure. However, this is a misguided plea for pity sex.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Semen]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}
[[category:CWC-isms]]

Blanca Emails, October 2008

2012-11-02T20:23:45Z

Chupathingy: /* External links */

This is an incomplete copy of [[emails]] between [[Chris]] and [[Blanca]] in [[October 2008]].

Emails from [[Blanca Emails, August 2008|August]] and [[Blanca Emails, September 2008|September]] are also archived here.

* Blue boxes contain emails from Chris to Blanca.
* Red boxes contain emails from Blanca to Chris.
* Green boxes contain inter-troll emails.

==[[October 2008]]==

''Editor's note: The following message cut off at the right side of the page.''

{{Email|
'''RE: The earlier chats.''' from Blanca to Chris on Wed 10/01/08 2:11 AM
----

No way! i hardly let anyone take pictures of me in my bathing suit nevermind in the nude. these chat logs look very suspicious it sounds like they a
}}

{{Email|
'''RE: Pink PSP Information''' from Blanca to Chris on Wed 10/01/08 2:17 AM
----

yay! can we play some of these games online together as well? :)
}}

{{EmailReply|
'''Reply to your E-mail replies, and IM finish.''' from Chris to Blanca on Wed 10/01/08 2:46 AM
----

Hey, Ami B-Chan. I read your two replies; I have deleted that nudie pic from my PC, and by "chat logs", do you mean
the ones I e-mailed to you, or something else?

Definitely NOT the Playstation Classics, but I DO KNOW that Syphon Filter: Combat Ops is DEFINITELY ONLINE
capable. [[Quizzes|BUZZ! Master Quiz]] is Multiplayer capable, but ONLY within the short-range; not over wi-fi. The big difference
you will need to learn in the world of [[PlayStation Portable]] is Ad Hoc and Infrastructure. Although, [[Sony]] classifies Both
terms for [[Wi-Fi]], when it comes down to it, "Ad Hoc" is Short-Range (like classic link-cable distance within approximately
20 feet or so), and "Infrastructure" is TRULY Logging onto Wi-Fi and playing someone else on the same game title, or
downloading additional content for the software from the [[internet]]. The full details behind them can be found in each
game's respective manual, the PSP manual, or online at PlayStation.com.

At least, after we both have our PSPs and the Skype PSP Headsets, we can talk to each other, lying on our beds. :)
Even better, talking to each other while lying in the same bed. My [[sweetheart|sweet baby-heart]]; you must have been soo sleepy to
fall asleep; you are soo cute. :) It's alright, I am there with you in [[heart]]. <3<3<3

<nowiki>:-*</nowiki>

Sleep well, and have a sweet dream with me in it. :)
 I Love You, Blanca.
 Christian C.}}

{{Email|
'''Re: Hey it's me again''' from sonichufan1985 to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 2:58 AM
----

I see, may I ask why you are revealing my identity to Chris if you hate him so?}}

{{Email|
'''Re: Hey it's me again''' from sonichufan1985 to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 3:07 AM
----

HA HA YOU STUPID BITCH YOU WILL FALL UNDER THE MIGHTY [[pickle|PICKLE]] BRIGADE HAHAHA AHAHA. LULZ
MY NAME IS KEVIN IM A BIOCHEM MAJOR BITCH YOU CANT FUCK WITH ME}}

{{Email|
'''Profile comment''' from sonichufan1985 to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 3:29 AM
----

HOW BOUT THEM PICKLES LOLLLLLLLLLLLL}}

===Chris sends a bunch of pictures of himself===

{{EmailReply|
'''A few good pictures for you. :)''' from Chris to Blanca on Wed 10/01/08 4:53 AM
 Attachments: EyeCreate.zip (1865.3 KB)
----

I thought I'd take a few pics of myself for your enjoyment, Ami B-Chan. :) Let me know how you like them, and if you'd
like any of them to be the wallpaper for your PSP. <3<3<3

I'll talk to you later; today or tonight.

I Love You, Blanca, my Caring, Devoted [[Sweetheart]].
 Christian C.}}

<center><gallery>
Image:ECP 00013.jpg
Image:ECP 00014.jpg
Image:ECP 00015.jpg
Image:ECP 00016.jpg
Image:ECP 00017.jpg
Image:ECP 00018.jpg
Image:ECP 00019.jpg
Image:ECP 00020.jpg
Image:ECP 00021.jpg
Image:ECP 00022.jpg
Image:Gitar.jpg
Image:ECP 00024.jpg
Image:ECP 00025.jpg
Image:ECP 00026.jpg
Image:ECP 00027.jpg
Image:ECP 00028.jpg
Image:ECP 00029.jpg
Image:ECP 00030.jpg
Image:ECP 00031.jpg
</gallery></center>

==Inter-troll e-mails==
{{Email|1=
'''Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE?''' from [[Svenka]] to Blanca over YouTube on 10/01/08 4:18 PM
----

You're planning to see him...but you're not dating him. Why are you letting chris think you actually like
him if you don't? I smell a troll. I am danielishapopovski on [[deviant art]] and you told me someone was
probably pretending to be you again,trying to fool chris. But then,that new person who would be trolling
chris would have your face, and knows where you work. So either you're dating chris and ashamed to tell
the world,either you're an epic [[troll]].}}

{{Email|
'''Re: Re: Hey it's me again''' from [[Robert Simmons V|sonichufan1985]] to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 4:49 PM
----

Well you never did answer my question. Why are you helping Chris if he is just a selfish asshole? Do you
think he can be reformed? You of all people should already know that this cannot be. You and many
others have tried to warn him and help him out but to no avail. Once again, I have also tried to help
Chris out, but now I probably wont speak to him ever again ( I haven't sent him a message in over a
week). The reason why I asked for you to keep our coresondence a secret was for Chris' benefit. I figured
it would be better for him to think that his friend [[Robert]] had simply vanished than if Robert was exposed
as a troll. Of course if this is your plan, you are one hell of a mean ass bitch. I can't bring myself, to
expose to the net any of the stuff that Chris has told me, despite his asshole nature. So I ask once again,
why do you wish to expose me to Chris?

Sincerely,

Kevin}}

{{Email|1=
'''Re: Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE?''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 4:52 PM
----

but on deviantart you said he was a loser and you didn't care for him. makes perfect sense.
}}

{{Email|1=
'''Re: Re: Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE??''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 7:04 PM
----

I still think you're trolling. Either that or you are mentally ill.}}

{{Email|1=
'''Re: Re: Re: Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE?''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 7:32 PM
----

haha,i'm not mad...I'm just curious to know what kind of person you are. I don't understand how someone
like chris can be loved. And I didn't fail..I mean,it's not like you're hindering ED's plans or anything. You're
just killing some lolz by making chris happy,but even his happiness won't stop people from stealing his
medallion and spamming his noodz. Anyways,it was nice talking to you :3 Peace out mah niggah}}

{{Email|1=
'''Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE?''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 7:58 PM
----

Yeah...he might have given his [[sonichu medallion]] to someone but I doubt it. The sonichu medallion is for
him,the rosechu medallion for his sweetheart,the [[blachu]] medallion for his dog or something and he
probably has some other medallions. If we can't have the sonichu medallion,we might be able to get
another one. I bet he even made a [[Jiggliami]] medallion by now haha..}}

{{Email|1=
'''Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Chris+you=TROO LOVE?''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 8:04 PM
----

Look at the [[ED]] talk page...Looks like someone found out the truth.
 Hahaha...Yew troll yew. I knew you were trolling all along. It's okay. Chris will probably keep trusting you
anyways. You've known chris for months,right? Just tell him it's a poser,he'll probably fall for it again.}}

{{Email|
'''poop''' from Svenka to Blanca over YouTube on Fri 10/03/08 9:44 PM
----

http://kk-the-fox.deviantart.com/}}

{{Email|
'''Re: Re: Re: Hey it's me again''' from sonichufan1985 to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 8:25 PM
----

Perhaps, but I haven't done anything to hurt Chris, I haven't leaked any of our conversations to ED nor do
I plan to. I was just telling you that I will probably stop being is friend and stop talking to him, which
does not mean I will leak any of our conversations with him. Everything I have said to him is between
him and me. As I said in the previous email, I WAS A TROLL, but after that first email conversation with
him I decided to help protect him. I thought he was just a misunderstood person who has been crippled
by a mental disorder. I know that anon has no heart for these things and I was felt sick for ever having
to think I was part of that. I changed my ways soon after I spoke to him. I only continued to make videos
so anon would never hurt me because they would think I was still trolling. If you were Chris' friend you
would not say anything to him about this. I would rather have him think that I just disappeared rather
than break his heart by finding out that I was originally a troll.}}

{{Email|
'''Re: Re: Re: Hey it's me again''' from sonichufan1985 to Blanca over YouTube on Wed 10/01/08 8:36 PM
----

Chris is still your friend? That's funny because friends would not have posted all of his personal emails on
their deviant art account and posted all of those hateful remarks as well. Yes I may have begun this
relationship with Chris has a troll, but I would never compromise his trust by leaking all of our messages.
You need to quit being such a hypocritcal and stupid bitch.

Sincerely,

Kevin}}

{{Email|
'''Oh, those EDiots...''' from [[Arjen Van Dierten]] to Blanca over YouTube on Thu 10/02/08 4:04 AM
----

They're really trying to blow it for you on the talk page.

Well, hopefully the medallions arrived by now.}}

{{Email|
'''Did You See This?''' from Arjen Van Dierten to Blanca over YouTube on Sat 10/04/08 12:49 AM
----

http://www.mediafire.com/?gzxxdwvz3np

Vivian spent three hours trying to convince Chris that he was wrong, only to get nowhere.

If this is the same guy you spoke to last weekend, then we all are pretty much fucked, as he seems
unbreakable at this point.}}

{{Email|
'''Good day, this is Robert''' from Robert Simmons (sonichufan1986@gmail.com) to Blanca on Sun 10/05/08 9:05 PM
----

To Ms. Blanca, aka Kawaiikitsune123,

Good day, this is Robert Simmons V, aka Sonichufan1986. As you may have heard from Mr. Chandler,
my email and youtube accounts have been hacked. It has been a rough week for me on this first week of
October but I am feeling better now. [[Andrew Simmons chat|My evil and mean cousin Andrew]] has been punished for his evilness
and his meanness. Also I was able to contact Mr. Chandler, reading his words helped make things
better. He is a true friend. Anyways I just wanted to contact you to let you know how everything is
going with me. I have heard from Mr. Chandler that the both of you are now coming back together. First
and foremost, let me just say that I am very happy for the both of you.

Also another thing I want to talk about is that I have heard from my cousin Andrew that he has sent you
many nasty and slanderous emails and youtube messages. Please believe me in that those messages did
NOT come from me. Andrew and his friend Kevin (who is part of ED) had hacked into my email days
before I even knew it was hacked. I know that you may not believe me and I understand if you dont
want to talk to me again for fear of me being a ED spy. But please know this Ms. Blanca, aka
Kawaiikitsune123, I really do hope that both you and Mr. Chandler will have a wonderful romantic
relationship and share a happy future with each other. I also wanted to say that I appreciated your help,
support, and friendship in our youtube messaging despite it not being long at all. I am saying this as
[[Honest]] to [[God]] as my witness, for my name is Robert Simmons V, who was formally known as
Sonichufan1985 beforehe got hacked and know is known as Sonichufan1986. Take care Ms.
Kawaiikitsune123, I dont know if you believe it's me but I will always support both you and Mr. Chandler. 
Good bye.

Sincerely,

The REAL Robert Simmons V, aka the NEW Sonichufan1986}}

{{EmailReply|
'''Here are the pics from Anna's 20th''' from Chris to Blanca on Mon 10/06/08 2:22 AM
 Attachments: 0689-ANNABD2.zip (1994.4 KB)
----

Let me break the images down for you, Ami B-Chan; pictures 0689, 0691 and 0696 are Only [[Anna]]; 0690, 0692, 0693 and
0697 are Anna with another gal-pal of ours, LInnea (Also Trustworthy); 0694 is me and Anna; the only pic of just the two
of us; and 0695 is EVERYONE, including me, who were invited to the party. It was fun. :) 
Enjoy, and Peace, 
Christian C.}}

''Editor's note: See the above images at the [[Anna McLerran]] article.''

{{Email|
'''Did You See This?''' from Arjen Van Dierten to Blanca over YouTube on Mon 10/06/08 3:54 AM
----

You're Emo Now

"Yeah she's cute. That's the exact reason why I'm afraid that she's not a troll. Chris doesn't deserve a girl
like that and I will be really butthurt if she ever offers her body for that creepy bastard. It's more likely
than you think since low self-esteemed emo bitches are ok with creeps like Chris. Or I'm just
paranoid...disregard that I suck cocks. --Pencil 14:12, 5 October 2008 (CDT)"

Oh, LSN's getting ready to upstage you he's apparently obtained a copy of Chris-chan's DVD and is
awaiting its delivery.

Just thought I'd let you know.}}

==Aftermath==

On 9 October, Chris recorded a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|Captain's Log]] lying about the Blanca returning his medallion. He still loved her.

On 20 October, the medallion was destroyed. The next day, Blanca broke up with him. [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|Sinking to his lowest point]], Chris still believed she was not a troll.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:Blanca57-001.jpg|1 [[October 2008]]
Image:Blanca57-002.jpg
Image:Blanca57-003.jpg
Image:Blanca57-004.jpg
Image:Blanca57-005.jpg
Image:Blanca58-001.jpg
</gallery></center>

==External links==

* <s>[http://rapidshare.com/files/152554112/BlancaCWC2.zip Download]</s> DELETED

{{BlancaSaga}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:Blanca E-mails]]

Fridays After Five

2012-11-02T09:07:34Z

Chupathingy: how i manage dto do this blind stinking drunk is beyond me

{{Quote|they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their gross, uncool amusement.|Chris, referring to the trolls at FA5<ref>[http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016]</ref>}}

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|140px|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]].]]

'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video-recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010. Chris first alludes to his knowledge of Fridays after Five in the video [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]], in which he stands outside the Charlottesville Pavilion and mentions how [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play there every Friday night.

== 18 June Sighting==
{{-}}
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|thumb|185px|right|Chris attempting to dance. Note the man in the foreground shaking his head in disbelief/disgust.]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a good Samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public.

According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point, Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write [[Love Quest|"WANT WOMAN!"]] on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman." This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== 9 July Sighting ==
[[File:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|Tell me why I'm stuck in a sad lonely cage..]]
On 9 July, the troll who spotted Chris on [[McIntire Park#Independence Day Sighting|Independence Day]] spotted him again. According to the troll, Chris had unscrewed the zoom lens from his DSi and was using it as a rudimentary telescope by pressing it up to his eye.

{{quotebox|
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point.}}

This time, the troll managed to take a picture of Chris, who appears to be wearing three [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers of Fail]]. Two are red and white, and a custom painted one is barely visible underneath his arm. He also has what looks like a small bottle of hand sanitizer tucked into his belt. Chris [[The GAMe PLACe|has been known]] to immediately follow up any handshake with using hand sanitizer on himself. Chris is also holding a [[Attraction Sign|small piece of paper]] between his legs in both photographs, proving even further that he hasn't learned a single thing in the past seven years.

Chris's response to this sighting, delusional as always:<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 3]]: E-mails sent around the time of the FAF sightings</ref>
{{quoteboxred|I lured out one last Friday at the Pavillion, obviously. I SHOULD have gone after him in pursuit, but the only plan I had programmed in my head in response is take their picture with my DSi. I have reprogrammed my mind to pursue after lure, yell for a policeman, and have him arrested for Taking Photographs at the Pavillion during Fridays After 5. On their Triangular, Red Column, they have a rules list, which includes, "No Cameras or Videotaping are Permitted". I am positive I'll lure out the same guy from Last Friday; I only got a brief look at his face, but I am positive I'd [[Blanca|recognize him on future sight]].}}

==16 July Sighting==
[[File:Manzone.jpg|thumb|right|Something like this.]]
On 16 July, a different troll managed to spot Chris at the park. While no photos were taken, the description given paints a very... ''unusual'' picture.

{{quotebox|This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell.}}

While the initial footage from June introduced the "WANT WOMAN!" bra as a sort of makeshift attraction sign, the most recent sighting reports a full-fledged return of an actual [[attraction sign]], albeit a very basic one.

The hula hoop is more puzzling. It's entirely possible that Chris brought it to add to the dance moves seen on this very page, but given Chris's [[Sonichu's Edge|abysmally low stamina]], [[obesity|corpulent physique]], and total lack of coordination or dancing ability, this seems like a very unusual choice. Another theory is that he used it to mark the boundaries of his "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone". He can be seen at the end of one of the videos "dancing", apparently looking at and drifting towards a girl using two hula hoops near the stage; whether this inspired him to bring one himself or not is a matter of speculation.

==Gallery==
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Preparing to put the moves on a [[gal-pal]]
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal-pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an eight-year-old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT, GODDAMN!!!
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:Fridayafterplan.png|CWC's Plan B
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autistic trucker to dorkish plumber.
File:WantMan.jpg|CWC's [[Homos|Plan C]]
File:Hulahoop.png|Chris and the hula hoop.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Flipnote Hatena]]
* [[Love Quest]]
* [[Rollin' and Trollin'|"Rollin' and Trollin'"]]
* [[Pedofork]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the Videos]</s> DELETED
* [http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

== Sources ==
<references />

[[Category:Social life]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-18]]
[[Category:Field agent videos| 2010-06-18]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]
[[Category:Events]]

Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2012-11-01T03:33:23Z

Chupathingy: Mediafire link's invalid. Someone wanna get on mirroring that shit?

[[Image:Emilyy.jpg|thumb|70px|The only known image of Emily, shot from behind.]]

On 19 [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first (and only) [[dating|date]] ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment here.

==Summary==
*The trolls worry about a possible appearance by [[Snorlax|Barb]], run a mic check.
*Emily talks to [[Bob]], ignores Chris.
*Bob recites his work history, from serving in the army to retirement. Chris talks a grand total of 9 times, gets ignored.
*Bob goes on at length about being retired. Chris tries to interrupt several times, and fails several times.
*Chris reveals his favorite artist is [[Britney Spears]].
*Bob reveals his patchy medical history.
*Finally, Chris gets a whole minute in which to talk. The [[Amnyfest Ring]] makes an appearance.
*Chris asks why [[University of Virginia|UVA]] doesn't have a [[Sonichu Girls]] chapter.
*Chris brings up his [[Heterochromia|pink-eye]].
*Bob goes back to his health problems.
*Bob and Chris mention their [[Cherokee]] heritage.
*Chris flirts.
*Chris fails at flirting.
*Chris does the infamous [[Donald Duck]] impression.
*Chris talks about [[Sailor Moon]].
*Emily and Chris leave Bob and go out into the mall.
*Chris brings up winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sonic competition]].
*Emily tries to be discreet about going to the bathroom. Chris announces she's on her period.
*Emily flees.
*The [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle]] Man arrives and saves Emily, whereupon Chris announces "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]."
*Chris tries to kiss Emily goodbye.
*Emily makes good her escape and goes home with the Pickle Man.

==Cast==

'''Frosty''' - A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

'''Camwhore''' - "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

'''Emily''' - Queen of [[trolls]], she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

'''Pickle Man''' – Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

'''Chris''' – Misshapen, autistic manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

'''Bob''' – [[Robert Chandler]], the proud [[Internet]] lumberjack, yet also slave to the manchild.
==Transcript==
=== Overture (0:00:00–0:03:13) ===
[[Image:ThongMic.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's impression of what Emily is wearing.]]
'''Frosty:''' Okay... lock it?

'''Frosty:''' Okay-

'''Camwhore:''' Are you wearing a [[Butt garments|thong]]? With a-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' That better be fuckin' ''tight''.

'''Emily:''' It's tight.

'''Camwhore:''' That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-

'''Emily:''' I should be like-

'''Camwhore:''' Or a robotic [[China|vagina]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' Say "It's my [[Sex toys|vibrator]]."

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' It's one of those things that you see taped to those- those hentai-

'''Frosty:''' Well, the thing is, Chris- if you said that to Chris, he would squeal.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! Okay, if he gets, like, ''way'' too close to me, I'm just gonna be like- get my chair farther away.

'''Camwhore:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' I really like your [inaudible]

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs''] Maybe Barb- Barbara can come.

'''Emily:''' Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore.

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I'm just [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Frosty:''' There- there are [[Obesity|Barb candidates]] ''everywhere''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. But- but in all actuality, there should be no [[Barb]]; if there ''is'' Barb, I will [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit myself]].

'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're- we're done.

'''Camwhore:''' We're not showing up.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' "You brought your mommy?"

'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No– just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today."

'''Camwhore:''' Yeah.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' That's it.

'''Camwhore:''' And you can call him and be like "You owe me a ''dire'' apology, and you're the… jack-off-"

'''Emily:''' No– I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him ''cry''.

'''Frosty:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' And I'm gonna be like "Oh– I live in [[Clyde]]'s playboy mansion now." [''laughs'']

'''Frosty:''' No– even better!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [aside] I'm waiting. I'm ''part'' of Clyde's playboy mansion.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' I'm the janitor.

[''all laugh loudly'']

'''Emily:''' Okay– let's go see if he's there.

'''Camwhore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there.

'''Emily:''' ''No!'' 'Cause- 'cause it's-

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible (but about "a girl")]

'''Emily:''' 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… ''"Hiii!"''

'''Pickle Man:''' Did he say where [''inaudible, presumably "where he'll park his car", judging by Camwhore's response'']

'''Emily:''' No. Like, he wants to be- he wants to meet in front of [[Chick-fil-A]], so…

'''Camwhore:''' Figures! But the ''general'' idea would be you park near where you wanna… go.

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Camwhore:''' What if that [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [aside] [inaudible] Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a [[Pickle|penis]].

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible]

'''Camwhore:''' The balloons. Right here.

'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs'']

'''Camwhore:''' It's a fuckin' penis.

[pause]

'''Camwhore:''' Nope.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

[pause]

'''Emily:''' [''sighs'']

'''Camwhore:''' [''sighs'']

[pause]

'''Camwhore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like [[Wikipedia:Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story|Hamster Girl]]… at [[Coffee Place|Starbucks]].

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Camwhore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl.

'''Pickle Man:''' ''Which'' one looks like Hamster Girl?

'''Camwhore:''' Right there. The only one that you can see working?

'''Pickle Man:''' Oh– over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off.

'''Camwhore:''' No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [''inaudible'']

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm telling you: you should see her with that [[hair] off!

'''Camwhore:''' Oh– she don't have no hair?

'''Pickle Man:''' Um...

'''Camwhore:''' Oh– she has a fake-

'''Pickle Man:''' She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this.

'''Camwhore:''' Well, yeah– I knew that.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Camwhore:''' I was gonna say: I don't- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

===Target acquired (0:03:13–0:04:43)===

'''Frosty:''' There he is!

'''Camwhore:''' Shut up!

'''Emily:''' [''startled''] What?

'''Frosty:''' I can see a [''inaudible''] jacket.

'''Emily:''' Oh my God! [''jokingly''] Eject! Oh my God!

'''Frosty:''' Is your jacket on? [''unintelligible''] Put your jacket on. Are you ready?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I'm ready. [''laughs nervously''] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever.

'''Pickle Man:''' He can't see my face before I suit up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– go, like, look, 'cause he has to sit down first.

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Frosty:''' He'll realize later: that's what it was.

'''Camwhore:''' I don't feel bad.

'''Emily:''' Okay. Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and- [''inaudibly interrupted''] Huh? I don't have my phone.

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Oh my God…

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like…

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Um, there's some ''benches'', like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no.

'''Pickle Man:''' Where do I go?

'''Emily:''' Okay– there's some benches, like, ''nearby''…

'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah?

'''Emily:''' Um, just sit and watch him [''unintelligible''] till you need to go change or whatever.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. Well, I- I started the- I [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. I'll [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''exhales loudly''] Yeah. Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

===The Green Mile (0:04:44–0:05:19)===

[''Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.'']

===Meet the Parent (0:05:20–0:07:17)===

'''Emily:''' ''Hi!''

'''Chris:''' Hello! Emily?

'''Emily:''' Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you!

'''Chris:''' Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert.

'''Bob:''' Hello.

'''Emily:''' Hello. [pause] I've started [[Rosechu|shopping]] a little bit.

'''Chris:''' That's alright.

'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina?

'''Emily:''' Yeah... I used to live here for a while, but then, I-

'''Chris:''' [''abruptly''] Hey!

'''Emily:''' But then, I moved to-

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|Cute hat!]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I thought you might like it.

'''Chris:''' [''laughs contentedly'']

'''Bob:''' You go to school over there?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– [[Wikipedia:West Virginia University|University of West Virginia]]. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' That sounds like the best way to do things!

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, Emily– you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together?

'''Emily:''' Sure!

[pause]

'''Bob:''' What are you taking?

'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism.

'''Bob:''' What?

'''Emily:''' ''Journalism.''

'''Bob:''' Journalism?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Ah! You wanna be a writer!

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''giggles''] I did a lot-

'''Bob:''' He has a… [[Cole Smithey|''half-brother'']] who's- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does ''freelance'' writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines.

'''Emily:''' Is it- does he love it?

'''Bob:''' I ''guess''.

'''Emily:''' [''giggles again'']

'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years…

'''Emily:''' Yeah…

'''Chris:''' I can't this dang camera to work!

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Yeah– that's- I worked at, uh- I'm an engineer… and engineers [[Chris and English|never learn how to spell]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' I think very logically, but I-

'''Chris:''' Shoot! I got bad batteries in the [[Chris and camerawork|camera]].

'''Emily:''' [''disappointed''] Oh...

'''Bob:''' If I would- if I would ''write'' anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… ''supposed'' to do.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' I got along fine… writing stuff… on my ''word'' processor… when I had a ''spell'' checker.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Without that, I'm [''unintelligible, but clearly self-deprecating''] [''laughs heartily'']

'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering?

'''Bob:''' Well... I- I had a real ''u-''nique situation…

[''pause'']

===Bob's work history (0:07:18–0:16:58)===

'''Bob:''' Look, uh… I'm- I'm really old.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Okay– to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along ''before'' [[Wikipedia:Transistor|transistors]].

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Not- not [unintelligible] all the safe stuff we have now, but even before ''transistors''… when we had [[Wikipedia:Vacuum tube|vacuum tubes]].

'''Bob:''' I, uh... got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh... then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone poles. So, I found out: yeah– I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out– 'course that was in [[Pre-1980#1947|1947]]– I found out- now, I know that we had a depression on our hands; I didn't know it then.

'''Bob:''' You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school."

'''Emily:''' Yeah– now, it's really hard to become an engineer.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– now, ya- I, uh-

'''Bob:''' I went to… a state teaching college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing ''I'' ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh- well, I got- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And also, I loved [[music]], and I was in [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|the band]] and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there too.

'''Bob:''' And then, I went to Auburn, and then [''unintelligible''] talk about getting swallowed up!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Then, at that time, Auburn- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students.

'''Bob:''' I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh... I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and that sort of thing. I'm gonna work for Western Electric."

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' That seems logical, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [suddenly offended somehow] Hey!

'''Bob:''' Because they make, uh-

'''Chris:''' You- no– you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from ''him''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and reality|Especially my ''technological'' intelligence.]]

'''Bob:''' But anyway, I, uh- I went to work for them for forty years, and, uh... at that point in time…

'''Bob:''' Uh, this is even ''before'' the Atlas missile… the ICBM.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' ''Before'' the Korean War… and, uh- but, I- I found out they were building ''radar'' systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, ''nothing'' was automatic. They ''had'' none!

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, that's what ''I'' went and built, that kinda stuff, what I learned in the army, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, [[Wikipedia:General Electric|GE]] heard about it… and they came down to [''possibly town name''] in North Carolina.

'''Bob:''' And- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' And then, uh... I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [''unintelligible''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Intercontinental Ballistic Missile]].

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!"

'''Bob:''' So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic… equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' But- but I got- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [''chuckles'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, that must be really different! [''laughs again'']

'''Bob:''' Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [''unintelligible'']" Well, GE- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural ''draw''… to the mountains.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [''unintelligible''] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had plants there.

'''Bob:''' And… they were there developing- specializing in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any ''automation'' yet. They were just industrial-controlled.

'''Bob:''' So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines.

'''Bob:''' So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do ''all'' the great things. All my- I- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Because I am very ''[[Autism|logically]]-''inclined.

'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy…

'''Bob:''' Yeah– and I- I'm a logician.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I ''use'' 'em all the time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [''unintelligible''] steel for your cars.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex.

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Chris:''' And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses.

'''Bob:''' And- and then- then, I got into- I was in the new business area where we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of- of, uh, like phone line warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world.

'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot!

'''Bob:''' And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-

'''Chris:''' Want some water?

'''Emily:''' No, thank you.

'''Bob:''' And, uh... then, uh- then, um, I got into… I developed a system and I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic.

'''Bob:''' Anyway, like [[Wikipedia:Logic gate|the ANDs, and ORs, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And then, I developed a system… called a [''inaudible''] that stands [''unintelligible''], that's an acronym.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Hardware-oriented [[2000|Y2K]] pile of junk!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Similar fortune… was in… ''hardware''.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody– I got [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you.

'''Bob:''' What this enables-

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible, but clearly addressing Emily'']

'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] Thank you.

'''Bob:''' What this enables everybody to do- and me, too, but I was lazy…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Was to write down on- on paper– and design on paper from the start– a sequence of parallel lines.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper.

'''Emily:''' [''half-stifles a genuine laugh'']

'''Bob:''' And they ''still'' don't, really! [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy.

'''Bob:''' Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft. hole!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Then, I got into, uh, designing… ''scooter'' machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Scooters. And then, I got into... die-cast machines… and the machines automating ''them''. They make things like carburetors, and [[My Coke Rewards|cans]], and whatever.

'''Bob:''' And then, I got into ''plastics''… and even the ''plastics'' were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… ''two'' patents [unintelligible] in ''my'' name that ''they'' own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Come off the line in New England.

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] on it, and all these [''unintelligible''] microvalves, and ''doors'', and- and, um... ''shutters'', and [[Kimmi|stuff like that made out of plastic]]. All this stuff we got plastic.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] in your frames!

'''Emily:''' Yep! [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' Including, uh, [[Sex toys|Tupperware]].

'''Emily:''' Can't… go without Tupperware…

'''Bob:''' So, then [''unintelligible''] ''finalized'' and- and perfected, basically, this [''unintelligible''] process…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Of design and documentation. [''unintelligible''] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [''chuckles'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' So, now, I'm ''un-''indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not.

'''Emily:''' I think you did!

'''Bob:''' But I can't-

'''Emily:''' You did a lot of things.

'''Bob:''' I can't spell the word "[[cat]]" without a 'K' in it.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, well, y'know, [[Chris and his ego|I'm proud of him anyway]], for his accompliment- accom-''plish-''ments.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' He's got a ''half-''brother who's a doctor.

'''Chris:''' ''His'' son.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh...'' okay.

'''Bob:''' And he's got a- and I have a daughter, who is his- his half-sister… that's a… [[Wikipedia:Phi Beta Kappa Society|Phi Beta Kappa]] outta UVA Atlantic.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh...'' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a Ph.D. now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these [[Autism|math people]]… I dunno.

===Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)===

'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' I'm not that-

'''Emily:''' That's why-

'''Bob:''' I'm good at ''logic'', but not at math.

'''Chris:''' But ''I'm'' good at math!

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' He's not good at math when it comes to managing [[money]].

[pause]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Hey– look! Hey– look it! I have… ''your'' plastic lid on it!

[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs'']

'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for 27 years.

'''Bob:''' It was a challenge. ''Most'' of the time, I've been retired, so I could stay home.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– well, I, um... I did- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' I just, uh- I- but I enjoyed my life. It- it, uh- it- I had… things; I had- I had opportunities that most people don’t get.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I got to see all this stuff now.

'''Emily:''' That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know... write up- do some journalism, like, overseas.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I’ve been to [[PandaHalo|Australia]], and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to [[Anne Boleyn|England]]. ''Most'' people [''unintelligible''] to see 'em, but [''unintelligible''] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, it- it was interesting. [pause] I wish I could get- find out what ''Christian's'' really good- well, he’s pretty good in [[Art|drawing]]…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And writing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– he- she should know; she- you’ve- you should know; you've seen a bunch of [[Chris and art|my artwork]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah! It’s really good! All my- all my friends like it, as well.

'''Bob:''' [[Chris and copyright|He’s ''creative'']]… but he’s, um... I- I guess you know he’s- [[autism|he's high-functioning autistic]]… and, um...

'''Chris''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' At six, he couldn’t even ''talk''… but he was… ''programming'' [unintelligible] on his computer: his [[Wikipedia:Commodore International|Commodore]] computer…

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Commodore 64|Commodore 64]].

'''Bob:''' [''laughs''] Which was his first little-

'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know very many- much about computers! [''giggles''] Sorry! [''giggles some more'']

'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya?

'''Emily:''' [''reluctantly''] Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah– but you-

'''Bob:''' Now, we've- we- we’ve brought him a long way.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' It’s been interesting.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... well, that’s a little piece for you- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! That- that would be interesting.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, you- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way?

'''Emily:''' No– I came all the way from VCU. Um... like, a lot of my fr- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "[[Sonichu Girls]]"…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week.

'''Chris:''' Wow.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country.

'''Chris:''' [''responding belatedly to Emily''] I commend you for that.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] little trees on West Avenue.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Have you heard of West Avenue?

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area.

'''Bob:''' They're at the end of VCU, then?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] I don’t know that area very well.

'''Bob:''' It’s- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley".

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally".

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? Oh…

'''Bob:''' At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– but- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to ''his'' mother. And, um... ''he'' was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I ''love'' West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' I call it "Sesame Street".

'''Emily:''' Oh, that’s… [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah?

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' I- I- I love the Virginian area.

'''Bob:''' His ''mother''… was raised– but you wouldn’t believe it– she- she was raised in a [''unintelligible''] home. And one that's [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the [[Burger King]]… down at… VCU.

'''Emily:''' I don’t know what… streets really are-

'''Bob:''' Well, again- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And right down the street from there is where… ''his'' mother lived for about twenty years and raised [[Cole Smithey|her first son]]. And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me.

'''Emily:''' Oh... do you guys have a big family?

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got- we've got ''my'' son, and my daughter. You- my son’s in [[Richmond]], and my daughter’s in Washington.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' And then, we’ve got ''her'' son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us.

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah– Schiflett's a really big family.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– we got… two- really, two separate families.

'''Emily:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but it’s not as big as [[Wikipedia:The Brady Bunch|The Brady Bunch]]!

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' No… it isn't.

'''Emily:''' No.

'''Bob:''' But we- we- we enjoy it, and I- I have- uh, I grow flowers. And... I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' With [[Monthly tugboat|Social Security]], and... the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately!

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

[pause]

'''Bob:''' So, uh... I- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [''unintelligible'']. And in the middle, I’ve got a, um... well, about fifteen-foot plastic greenhouse.

'''Emily:''' Oh?

'''Bob:''' Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Inside this greenhouse, there’s ''plastic'' flowers.

'''Emily:''' Oh– ''plastic'' flowers?

'''Bob:''' A ''swing''… and, uh, all my ''stereo'' stuff, and, uh...

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but he’s got ''real'' flowers in his garden.

'''Emily:''' Oh. Oh, okay.

'''Bob:''' Yeah– the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– day lilies bloom about once a year, during- dur- about ''once''-

'''Bob:''' In the summer.

'''Chris:''' This- this summer.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' There- there's also that-

'''Chris:''' And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden.

'''Emily:''' Oh, I can imagine!

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-

'''Chris:''' [''dreamily/creepily''] ''Imagine!''

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And I- I love all the music from- from Dixieland to Big Band to [unintelligible].

'''Chris:''' Raise me on music, he did!

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' And- and musicals. And soundtracks.

'''Emily:''' Well, what’s ''your'' favorite artist?

'''Chris:''' Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss- uh... ''singer'' is [[Britney Spears]].

'''Emily:''' Britney Spears?

'''Bob:''' And, uh, he's got all- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-

'''Emily:''' And he’s into… more ''modern'' pop music?

'''Chris:''' Although… I guess if I had to pick a ''classic'' favorite, it would have to be ''[[Niggos|Satchmo']]'.

'''Emily:''' "Satchmo"?

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Louis Armstrong|Louis Armstrong]].

'''Bob:''' And- but I've got him all these big ''classics'' now-

'''Chris:''' [''does terrible Satchmo impression''] "Ten feet off the ground! Ba-doom-ba-bam-bow. [''Worst attempt at scatting ever'']"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''imitates trumpet melody'']

'''Emily:''' [''giggles'']

'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when it came out. All the European records were [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when they came out, 'cause they were ten, twelve dollars a piece, then, but now, you can get 'em at [[Chris and fashion|Goodwill and Salvation Army]]…

'''Emily:''' Well like-

'''Bob:''' A ''quarter'' to ''fifty'' cents apiece.

'''Emily:''' [''feigning enthusiastic agreement''] Yeah! [''laughs weakly'']

'''Bob:''' ''Thousands'' of them now!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… ''greenhouse''…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' It's got a ''dome'' ceiling… which gives it the ca- ''cathedral'' kind of [unintelligible]

'''Bob:''' Well... I found this ''great'' stereo system at, uh- in the [[1970s]], at Goodwill… and put ''it'' out there… along with the swing.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And... if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they ''recorded'' it! Ah– it's great! Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end!

'''Emily:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily'']

'''Emily:''' That must be really relaxing!

'''Bob:''' Well, yeah– it's a nice life!

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely'']

===Bob's health problems (0:24:23–0:25:29)===

'''Bob:''' If I didn't have to worry about ''him'', I'd be in ''great'' shape!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs sympathetically'']

'''Bob:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' [''laughs nervously''] [unintelligible] But he's been- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible, seems like gibberish] I mean, he's been in- he's been through, uh, ''three'' triple- ''two'' triple-bypasses?

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I was supposed to ''die'' in 1980.

'''Emily:''' Oh, no! What happened?

'''Bob:''' In fact, I ''did''.

'''Emily:''' What happened?

'''Bob:''' I [[Tobacky|smoked]] too much…

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' And, um... I worked for GE.

'''Bob:''' I did [[Barbara|all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have]].

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Yeah- but yeah– he- but yes– uh...

'''Bob:''' And, um...

'''Chris:''' God let him survive!

'''Bob:''' I had a couple [[Heart level|heart attacks]], and...

'''Emily:''' [''responding to Chris''] Yeah– [[Chris|for]] [[Burger King|a]] [[Barbara|reason]]!

'''Chris:''' And he's got a [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|pacemaker]] now!

'''Bob:''' Yeah... I- I've been through- I lived through a [[Wikipedia:Triple bypass|triple-bypass]] in [[1980]] when they were brand new.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' And survived that… so, [[Chris and death|I've only died a couple times!]] And then, I got- I got through that. Then, ''he'' came along.

'''Chris:''' Hey! He come-

'''Bob:''' And then, I- I got retired…

'''Chris:''' Hey!

'''Emily:''' Hmm?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– hey– he's the one that's b- that has seen the light, but did not actually go ''to'' it…

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And, um...

'''Chris:''' A ''number'' of times.

'''Bob:''' I had ''another'' triple-bypass in [[1992|'92]]… And I died a couple times that [''unintelligible''] And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

===Memories of High School (0:25:30–0:26:12)===

'''Bob:''' And, uh... when I was over there with him, I- I put him to school through, uh, ''Chesterfield'' County's school system.

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Bob:''' Well, they're the best in the country…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' For- for schools, ''I'' think.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' And- and, um...

'''Chris:''' [[Manchester High]].

'''Emily:''' [''uninterested''] Oh, really?

'''Bob:''' Then, um...

'''Chris:''' That's my birthstone: [[Amnyfest Ring|amnyfest]].

'''Emily:''' And the ''side'' of it… What does it say: "Lancers"?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Is that- wait– is that your mascot?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Then…what's on the other side? "[[2000]]"?

'''Chris:''' Yes... that's my class and coat'a arms.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' [[Manchester High School]]. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and a [[rainbow]] on the bottom. If you look at- in the ring-

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Do you see-

'''Emily:''' I see it!

'''Chris:''' Do you see the rainbow?

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [[speech impediment|Well, anyway, like, y'know,]] I guess that's enough- y'know, that's enough talk from ''him''. Uh... you were gonna ask…

'''Emily:''' Aww...

'''Chris:''' ''Me'' something?

===The "Sonichu Girls" Club (0:26:13–0:29:01)===

'''Bob:''' Now, I wanna find out about these… ''Sonichu'' Girls!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Sonichu Girls?

'''Bob:''' 'Cause I didn't know about them.

'''Emily:''' Oh– didn't… Chris tell you about them?

'''Bob:''' No– he doesn't- no– he doesn't normally- he doesn't… ''tell'' me much about them, so... See– he's a- he- he and his mother [[Biological clock|stay up all night]]… and I stay up all day.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Uh... actually reminds me more- actually, we're more- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night.

'''Emily:''' So, you've got, like, ''mixed''… like, sleep schedules, I guess?

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... my mom- and my- my mom picked up my bad biological- my messed-up [[biological clock]].

'''Bob:''' Yeah...

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Bob:''' She stays up all night! But anyway... I- I- yeah– I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone…

'''Emily:''' Oh! [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' And- and left a message.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– it's a pretty big fanbase. Um... there's actually about- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club.

'''Bob:''' Hmm!

'''Emily:''' And then, there's- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have?

'''Bob:''' Uh-huh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Do- you got one here in UVA?

'''Emily:''' I don't know… [''giggles''] I don't have very many friends at UVA.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] That's why I heard- that's why.

'''Bob:''' VCU's [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' Y'know, I was curious about this- this club…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' I- I didn't know he even knew about it! ''I'' didn't know about it. I think it's great!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hey– I've been on the [[IRC|Internet chat]]! And plus, y'know...

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Y'know, certain-

'''Bob:''' Plus [[medallion|the ''medallion'']], Christian!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... um...

'''Bob:''' He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it…

'''Emily:''' Yeah! Why- why aren't you wearing your… [''suddenly concerned''] m- medallion?

'''Chris:''' Um... I just believe I expressed that, uh... in a video on, uh, [[YouTube]]? But I- I, uh...

'''Emily:''' I might've missed that; I'm not sure.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– um... I'd rather not say in front of- I'd rather not say in front of ''Father''… but, uh...

'''Bob:''' There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have ''another'' heart attack…

'''Emily:''' Oh, no! [''laughs politely'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' Whatever.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely again'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah... But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have- you don't- it saves you one face to have to look at!

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually ''[[Heterochromia|green-blue]]''.

[pause]

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I see it!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah– pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment!

'''Emily:''' Wow... I didn't know that… could happen! [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Yeah''... looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself?

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' I thought they were just plain brown! [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's just that- y'know, it's- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] might be blue...

===Emily isn't hungry (0:29:02–0:29:58)===

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but ''anyway'', uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh... you hungry?

'''Emily:''' Oh– no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really.

'''Chris:''' Oh– you-

'''Emily:''' Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m- [''laughs nervously''] vending machine snacks… and that's it.

'''Chris:''' ''Oh.'' That's good. That's good; uh... ''Father'' was thinkin' about, like- was gonna get us ''spaghetti'', and, uh... [''truly flustered''] we wanna sh- we wanna split it be- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh... I'm gonna split mine with you…

'''Emily:''' Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though!

'''Chris:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We usually split a [[SpaghettiRoutine|spaghetti]], 'cause I- I can't eat it all!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... it's a really big bowl for him…

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Really… ''whoop!''

[''Emily laughs and Chris chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' It's not as big as I'd like… y'know... it's bigger!

'''Emily:''' No… [''giggles'']

'''Chris:''' Let's see… well, Dad– why don't you go get your spaghetti?

'''Bob:''' Do you want some?

'''Emily:''' No. I'm- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... we could get you some ''water''.

'''Emily:''' No– I'm not thirsty, as well.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay– well, go ahead and get your sh- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father.

'''Bob:''' Alright.

===Bob's health problems revisited (0:29:59–0:32:11)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah– I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' Since we've talked about it: on that, uh... I've died about five times now. The last time, I was at [[Golden Corral]]. The restaurant?

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Chris:''' And… my mom was there with him.

'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] I just… hit the floor!

'''Emily:''' Oh, no!

'''Chris:''' No– not really; uh... he was- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card?

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Chris:''' And he would've… hit a- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he- if my mom wasn't there to catch him…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' His- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse…

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' Would've been worse off!

'''Emily:''' Oh, wow...

'''Bob:''' But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker.

'''Emily:''' Wow. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– and ''that's'' when he got his pacemaker.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' I guess that won't happen in, uh...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

[pause]

'''Bob:''' But I- I think the real reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm ''proud'' of…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' I don't know about you.

'''Chris:''' ''He's'' proud of it.

'''Bob:''' ''I'm'' proud of it. I don't know whether ''he'' is or not.

'''Chris:''' I'm proud of him, for it!

'''Bob:''' But I'm, um- I found out a few years ago- about… 10 or 15 years ago…

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm?

'''Bob:''' That I was… at least one-fourth [[Cherokee]]!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So, I figured that- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligible] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over ''100'' sometimes.

'''Emily:''' Dang! [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' This ain't [[September 2011|my time]] yet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c- for ''my'' case.

'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta look out for him!

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''laughs nervously'']

'''Bob:''' [''cackles'']

'''Chris:''' [''cackles almost identically'']

'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta pay the bills!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously again'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay, Dad, uh... you s- alright, Dad-

'''Bob:''' Now- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go eat.

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''laughs nervously yet again'']

'''Chris:''' Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm [[Obesity|a little hungry myself]]… So… [''laughs nervously''] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread.

'''Bob:''' You sure you don't want something?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– y'know, I was concerned, myself.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Bob:''' Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah…

'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] Then, I'll come back, and… If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you!

'''Emily:''' I don't mind.

[pause]

'''Bob:''' You better tell me more about this club you've got!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

[''Bob walks away'']

===Chris fails at flirting (0:32:12–0:36:48)===

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah– y'know, you- uh... I must say you look ''good''.

'''Emily:''' Oh– thank you!

'''Chris:''' And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me.

'''Emily:''' Oh– well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s- uh... summer break.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure.

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely''] We might take a road trip down here.

'''Chris:''' [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''does terrifying [[Donald Duck impression]]''] "And this is my [[duck]] talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child?

'''Chris:''' Uh... at the-

'''Emily:''' At [[Wendy's|Wendy’s]].

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' I don’t know how that’s scary.

'''Chris:''' No– not- not- no– not- really scary; y'see, he was ''tired''…

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... okay. So, you…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D- classic Disney character.

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... you mi- you don’t mind if I t- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder?

'''Emily:''' Uh, not for too long…

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] "Not for too long".

'''Emily:''' ''Okay''... not- not for too long…

'''Chris:''' Okay [''incredibly creepily'']...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''chuckles again''] This is like- wow– I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me…

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' And she's like- and she actually got to know ''me''.

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Just, like, y'know, uh... Yeah. So… what’s your- what's the reason you need ''your'' [[glasses]] for? I’m ''near-''sighted myself.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’m nearsighted, as well.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' I don’t have very good eyes.

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] It's like, y'know, [[The Creepy Stare|we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other]]…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Do we?

'''Emily:''' Hmm... no– it's still blurry…

'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''... Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want- I'd like to see the, uh…

'''Emily:''' I- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today.

'''Chris:''' Oh…

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’m sure. [''laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' How’s my [[hair]] look?

'''Emily:''' It looks good!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Looks good. [''chuckles''] Boy– I've had it sleepin' against ''pillows''… and I took a [[ShowerRoutine|shower]] before I went- before I went to- um, crashing on the… couch.

'''Emily:''' [slightly disgusted] Oh...

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but I put on some, uh, bod- body s- some [[Axe|Axe body spray]] before I left. Do you like that smell?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– it depends on which one it is.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Uh, which one is it?

'''Chris:''' I believe it's, uh... it's called "Proximity".

'''Emily:''' Oh– I ''really'' like the choc- the new chocolate one.

'''Chris:''' Oh– the, uh, "[[Niggos|Dark Temptation]]"…

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.''

'''Chris:''' Oh– I was running low on that can anyway.

'''Emily:''' Oh... okay.

'''Chris:''' It's like I- if I- if I- if we- if we was [[Third date|hookin' up]], I would've gotten more of that!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[Note: Chris both stutters ''and'' laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.]

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] But seriously, though: you ''are'' cute.

'''Emily:''' Oh– thank you.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Mmm''... Yeah– I like- I like this- I like this- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're- you c- you straight- came straight from, uh... the, uh, ''[[Wikipedia:Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon|PGSM]]''… show.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah... [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' It's the live-action ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I’ve seen some of the episodes for that.

'''Chris:''' I’ve got the entire series-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Saved to my [[PlayStation 3]], including the, uh, wedding episode.

'''Emily:''' Oh– I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so…

'''Chris:''' It's, like, the very- it's, like, a very special ''last'' episode.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [''in a strange, baby-like voice''] You actually get to see ''[/url?q=http://sailormoon.wikia.com/wiki/Usagi_Tsukino Usagi]''… [''back to his normal voice''] and, uh- aww, shoot– I forget his name, but, y'know...

'''Emily:''' Uh... Mamoru?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– Samoru. That’s it; ''you'' got it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' You ''got'' it!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' You got it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah– I used to be a really big fan of ''Sailor Moon''. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays.

'''Chris:''' Did you see [''unintelligible''] entire [[anime]] series?

'''Emily:''' Um, I haven’t seen the ''last'' season.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– [[Wikipedia:List of Sailor Moon Sailor Stars episodes|''Sailor Stars'']].

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah''... 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the [[Silvana Rosechu|transsexuals]]?

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously'']

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah– I kn- I know that. But I ''have'' that on, uh- I have that on ''[[DVD]]''-

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Uh, y'know, with J- Japanese audio and [[English]] subtitles.

'''Emily:''' How do you feel about that? Like, the [[Tomgirl Ppictures|transsexuals]] and… the [[Wikipedia:Sailor Starlights|Sailor Starlights]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Um...

[''pause'']

'''Emily:''' Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Emily:''' Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, [[Pedofork|little kids]]?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Um... ''Yeah''... [''pitiful''] I don’t have much of an opinion…

[''Emily and Chris both laugh'']

'''Emily:''' It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's, uh- it's… [''in a British accent''] ''itchy''…

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''pause, laughs nervously'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– but you can sketch a lot in your, uh... journalism, don't ya?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. Well, I m- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing.

'''Chris:''' Okay– well, I mean, you- I mean, you sketch your ''letters''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you?

'''Emily:''' No– I thinks it's, uh- it's just basically a buncha' scribbles.

[''Chris and Emily both laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Eh... a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure.

'''Emily:''' Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an 'X' for their signature, and that’s it.

'''Chris:''' ''Ah''... but not you. You put…

[pause]

'''Emily:''' An 'E' and… an 'S', basically. [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' Uh- uh, an S?

'''Emily:''' Yeah– Emily Schiflett.

'''Chris:''' Oh– ''that’s'' your last name!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' "Schiflett".

'''Emily:''' Yeah– my middle name’s [[Julie|Jul]][[Kacey|ia]].

'''Chris:''' ''"Julia"!''

'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.''

'''Chris:''' "Emily Julia Schiflett".

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Flows nicely, doesn’t it?

'''Chris:''' It's beautiful!

'''Emily:''' Aww... thank you.

'''Chris:''' D- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart?

'''Emily:''' No... [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles'']

[pause]

===Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)===

[''Bob comes back'']

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Alright, Dad– uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate.

'''Bob:''' I get to divvy it up!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' Wow! Christian– I don't know… I tell you, my ''treat'' to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti!

'''Emily:''' ''Oh''... really? I don't think- I've only had their pizza there… before…

'''Bob:''' Yeah– the, um- all the spaghetti places in town are [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|too expensive]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden.

'''Emily:''' ''Oh.''

'''Chris:''' Yeah– b- but-

'''Bob:''' But they don't have one here!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' But they should have one here.

'''Bob:''' ''I'' think they should.

'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' You ever been to an Olive Garden?

'''Emily:''' Mm-mmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, yeah– it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' I- I've actually- yeah– y'know, I was there with my father… when- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah– a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. [pause] And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly- to the ''other'' nearly [[Speech impediment|esstinct]], uh, restaurants: y'know, like [[wikipedia:Shoney's|Shoney's]] and WesterN SizzliN.

'''Emily:''' Oh– I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a ''while!''

'''Chris:''' There's one in Chesterfield Count- there's a bun—there's a few in the Richmond area…

'''Bob:''' And one over close to VCU!

'''Emily:''' Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [''laughs politely''] Of course, I'm- I'm usually not looking for them, so…

'''Chris:''' Yeah– we even ha- yeah– we even- at- at home, somewhere, we even have a t- we even have the- the [[Lil'Chris|teddy bear]]: the "Shoney Bear".

[pause]

'''Emily:''' The Shoney Bear?

'''Chris:''' Yeah– it's- that was their mascot.

'''Emily:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' And I mean, if you look it up- if you look up "Shon"- if you- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh... find their mascot being the teddy-

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Being the bear.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…"

'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely'']

'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] "to… wan- to wan- to… gawk- to ''gander'' at!"

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' Christian– they got lots of juice!

[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Well, ''you'' can have it…

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I don't need to, uh, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|''slobber'' all over myself]]… Especially in front of my, uh, "[[Gal-pal|lady friend]]", here.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] Aww...

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Bob:''' [[Duck|Do ya need a little bit more?]] [long pause] You can deal ''without''…

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah– he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his- so, [[Obesity|I take his breadsticks]].

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get some more water.

'''Emily:''' Okay!

'''Chris:''' I'll be right back.

[''Chris walks away'']

[''pause'']

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] share with him.

'''Emily:''' [laughs politely]

'''Bob:''' I share with my wife. [unintelligible] She had to stay home today.

'''Emily:''' Does she do anything for a living or is she retired as well?

'''Bob:''' She's retired. She used to be a secretary. She worked for uh, General Power.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' You know, our nice power company, whatever they're called now... Dominion?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And uh, she worked for, um,[[Wikipeida:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] for a while before she retired.

'''Emily:''' Well good thing she's gone- she got out of Circuit City before they started going downhill.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, well they were going downhill [unintelligible] retired.

'''Emily:''' Oh really?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, [''unintelligible''] got retirement. She didn't retire 'til, a couple- three years ago. She's younger than I am... everybody is!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But she's younger than I am, but uh [pause] [unintelligible] she uh worked [''Chris comes back''] She loves that band there, over there. I like the band there. She loves that. Grey Street. Grey Street. [''a Dave Matthews Band [[parody|tribute]]'']

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' Do you know where Grey Street is over there? Do you uh, Do you know where the Burger King is over there by BP is?

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible, Emily is laughing as he says it'']

'''Bob:''' The [[Burger King]] is on Price Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' I-I-I'm an engineer [''unintelligible''] uh, Main, uh, what you would call Main Street.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' VCU is all back in [pause] all back in here like this,

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] and downtown Richmond is this way.

'''Chris:''' [says something about [[Pokémon]]]

'''Bob:''' He loooves Pokémon.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, we used to come down here for the Pokémon League or uh [''unintelligible''] Yeah, I remember that.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Well VCU is-is you is-is here. Well all around in here, they're everywhere, but fifth Avenue is over there.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Bob:''' And Grey Street is three blocks, all the way through there like this where the lower side of VCU is.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And they got all their little restaurants and their little stores and things like that and they're all along Grey Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And where his mother lived for about twenty years was right about here... On Grey Street.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Hey, by the way you know I have eaten with uh, chopsticks before.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' See there?

'''Emily:''' That may be kind of hard with a fork and a knife. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Heh heh heh hey that's close enough.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I can't...

'''Bob:''' Yeah, well while we were over there in Richmond.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, are you a little bit [[Ching Chong|Chinese or Asian or Japanese]]?

'''Emily:''' Nuh-uh.

'''Bob:''' I think it's just from wearin' glasses.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I think it's just the glasses... And the dark hair. [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' My best friend over there was Reverend Chen of the Korean Church.

'''Emily:''' Uh huh.

'''Chris:''' And this is in Chesterfield County.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. And he was from [[Wikipedia:Seoul|Seoul]], Korea, and I was in Seoul for about a year. Went in about the time he was born.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But he was my best friend over there, and I used to spend talking with and talking to. Because he was really interested in the world.

'''Emily:''' Mmhm.

'''Bob:''' And I'm really world oriented, and my favorite institution is the United Nations.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I think they're the answer to everything we got in this world... but... [''delayed pause''] We went to the Korean church while we were over there in Chesterfield County when he was in school. I tell you, that's where picked up the chopsticks.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' [Starts talking but is cut off by Chris.]

'''Chris:''' They gave me, they gave me [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|my Bible]] that I used in my Sundays- days... when I graduated from [[High School]].

'''Emily:''' Is it part, like, in the other language? Or-

'''Bob''' and '''Chris:''' No.

'''Emily:''' Uh, only English, okay. I know there's some that have like two different languages in it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a [[Honor roll|King England- It's a King England Bible]].

'''Bob:''' And what they do in the Church, they-they [trails off quietly]

'''Chris:''' King's English, whatever it is.

'''Bob:''' [''still quiet, hard to hear''] ...Korean.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' It's all Korean language, except for a few of 'em. And then they had like, a wireless [''unintelligible''], those little earphones, where you could hear the translation.

'''Emily:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' It was kind of neat, I-I enjoyed it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, everybody was able to bring their own food and we'd get to sample it for uh-, and we'd get to have a nice lunch meal every Sunday there.

'''Bob:''' [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] You like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|spicy food]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I like- I like spicy.

'''Bob:''' What I was gonna say, uh, [[Wikipedia:Kimchi|kimchi]].

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. Go away, you know?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Too spicy for you?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, it's too spicy for me.

'''Chris:''' [''sounding it out''] Kim-chi, hm.

'''Bob:''' But, uh, like they told me if anything that's red, forget it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' Except your spaghetti sauce, right Dad?

'''Bob:''' They didn't have spaghetti sauce, no they watched that to me, they gave me that more bland stuff.

'''Emily:''' Oh. [''chuckles'']

'''Bob:''' I even-I-I-I even had my own special [[pedofork|fork]].

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' If it was me I can handle spicy, seriously, I can even probably even [[Pedofork|handle the kid-the kid-]] the kimchi, what he said.

'''Bob:''' That's- that's-

'''Emily:''' I can't handle spicy food that well, it upsets my stomach.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Bob:''' I like jalapeño a little bit

'''Emily:''' [chuckles]

'''Bob:''' -a little jalapeño. I love [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Hah, yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''something more about jalapeños, followed by silence''] Yeah, they told me anything that was red, don't pick it up.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs politely]

[silence]

===Bob on World News (0:44:47–0:51:00)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah, I miss Reverend Chen, he was- he was really interested in learning about the world.

'''Emily:''' Mhm.

'''Bob:''' And he didn't have much of a chance-[''hard to hear''] and we- we'd sit there and talk, at [[McDonald's]]-

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' every morning, for 2 to 3 hours, and just go through ''[[Wikipedia:The Washington Post|The Washington Post]]'', page by page, you know, just learning about the world

'''Emily:''' Good. I wish I could, like, pick up the newspaper and read more. I mean I pick up, like, our [[:File:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|school newspaper]] and that's about it, but I mean when it comes to world events I read some of the articles, but I mean some of them I just can't get into.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, it's a new thing on TV.

'''Emily:''' Mhm?

'''Bob:''' At least we have it here on Comcast... I don't know what you have though.

'''Emily:''' I'm not sure what-

'''Bob:''' Over there.

'''Emily:''' I'm not sure what-

'''Bob:''' But, it's a program on public television, it's really a station here, we have three different stations, [''unintelligible''] and one of them's called World News. [''says call sign''], World News.

'''Emily:''' I don't think we have that.

'''Bob:''' And, they uh-they have uh English translations of everything on it, but they have programs that originate all over the world. [unintelligible] So you see how [[Molvania|the rest of the world]] looks at [[United States of America|the U.S.]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' So you see what they're saying about us and what's going on over there. Half the time I find out things that are happening in the United States, that somebody in Germany or [[Molvania|Russia]] or [[China]] or in [[Anime|Japan]]-

'''Emily:''' [laughs] That's always nice.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, that's one of my my favorite stations, and they have it here. I-it's a public radio sponsored thing, but it's called World View.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' W.V.

'''Emily:''' I think my school has that, I'm not sure, I might have not never noticed or anything like that.

'''Bob:''' Well they might have it, because it's very educational.

'''Emily:''' I like watching Discovery Channel.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, I watch Discovery, and World Discovery Science, and World History, and-

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah there's lots to see on TV. In fact, uh, I can give you a tip that you can pass along. Christian thought of it. He came up with it, believe it or not. He taught himself to read.

'''Emily:''' Really?

'''Bob:''' Oh he could really read, by turning on the closed captions on the TV.

'''Emily:''' Wow, that's-

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' That's go-that's clever!

'''Bob:''' I keep telling everybody I know including all these learning Ph.D.'s, and psychologists,

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And everybody, you know [''unintelligible''] you got a kid that's [[Autism|all wired up]], [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh?

'''Bob:''' Turn on the closed captions, [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] and they learn how to read!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Bob:'''But they won't listen to me, I'm just an 81 year old fogey!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But he came up with-

'''Emily:''' But you know they'll come up with it and someone else will take the credit for it later on.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible''] I don't think it really matters, but he came up with it

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

[Bob fades into background noise]

'''Bob:''' ...I thought it was such a phenomenally good idea. [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well he-he's got a photographic memory.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' But I think those were the [[autism]] a little bit.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I got an audio memory too. [''apparently they were talking about him'']

'''Bob:''' Cause he can, you ever heard of, um ''Mario World''?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [chuckles]

'''Chris:''' [''chimes in to correct, [[Autism|sounds a bit upset]]''] He's talking about ''[[Wikipedia:Super Mario World|Super Mario World]]''.

'''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well in three days, he-he [''unintelligible stuttering''] killed [[Wikipedia:Bowser|King Koopa]]. I can't get off of ''[[Wikipedia:Yoshi's Island|Yoshi's Island]]''.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] I'm not very good at those games either. [''more laughing'']

'''Bob:''' The reason he is, is cause he can remember all those different moves.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' It's like taking a picture, [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] I reckon I wanna know about that.

'''Chris:''' I'll tell you one thing, you've got pretty face. [''not a mistake'']

'''Emily:''' Aww, thank you.

'''Bob:''' She looks like [[Wikipedia:Marcie|Margie]], doesn't she?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Bob:''' She looks like Margie.

'''Chris:''' What you mean the ''[[Peanuts]]'' character Margie?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You know Margie?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs again'']

'''Chris:''' Uh...no. [''cuts off Bob with more laughter from Emily''] No, I'd say if anything she uh, wait a minute I'm trying to...I'm trying to figure it out. Um...

'''Bob:''' She doesn't look like Peppermint Patty.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'd say, uh, you compare when-when tied up there, you look more like, uh Rei from PGSM.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, [pause] she's one of my favorite characters.

'''Chris:''' You like [[Wikipedia:Sailor Mars|Sailor Mars]], [''lame voice''] Flame Sniper!

[pause]

'''Emily:''' Who's your favorite character?

'''Chris:''' Um, with the exception of uh Usagi and [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Chibi-Usa]]. I like, uh, Ami.

'''Emily:''' Any particular reason, like?

'''Chris:''' [chuckle] Well, I don't know it's just like you know

'''Emily:''' Cause she's smart?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' And uh also, I think it's, I think also it's the blue hair, I'm not sure.

'''Emily:''' Do you like blue?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, blue is my favorite color, what's your favorite color?

'''Emily:''' I like [[Pickle|green]].

'''Chris:''' You like green. I guess you like Jupiter.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, sort of. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''apparently doing a horrendous impression of [[Wikipedia:Sailor Jupiter|Sailor Jupiter]]''] Jupi-tahhh!

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [clears throat] [to Bob]You know, if you uhh, if uhh, you moved, uh, the car, you'd- you'd be all right by yourself at this point, right?

'''Bob:''' I been takin' care of myself for eighty-one years!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Aww.

'''Chris:''' I mean, it's like, uhh you know, if you, uhh, don't feel like sitting around any more, we can go, uhh, walk and talk.

'''Emily:''' I don't want to leave him by himself. I mean...

'''Chris:''' He's all right.

'''Emily:''' Will you be here at the mall very much longer, or...

'''Bob:''' I dunno.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Well, if he's here by the time we get back, he'll be here for that much longer.

'''Emily:''' OK...

'''Bob:''' I can stick around, but I'm slow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's slow.

'''Bob:''' I like to eat slow, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|I don't gobble my food]] [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

===The Bear Band (0:51:01–0:55:23)===

'''Bob:''' -enjoy it, savor it-

'''Chris:''' You know I taste my food and savor it as well. At least my first bite.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs''] [''unintelligible''] Even faster than you!

'''Bob:''' After that it's [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah but by the way, you know it's on one of my shirts. It's on [[Chris and fashion|my favorite]] shirt, you know, the one I draw myself in often.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I felt it was appropriate for uh, being my first female [[Sonichu]] fan...

'''Emily:''' [''interrupts with a laugh''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' ... have come a long distance.

'''Emily:''' Thank you. Anyway, where do you want to walk off to?

'''Chris:''' Uh, you know, uh, anywhere in the mall.

'''Bob:''' All those exciting things around the mall.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, doesn't look... [[Duck|it's not very big]]. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You're right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I have. I wish it was two story, like Regency Square.

'''Emily:''' Where's that?

'''Chris:''' It's in Chest'field County.

'''Bob:''' No, it's not in [''???'']...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs over Bob'']

'''Bob:''' ...County. It's close [''inaudible''] It's across the river.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

{{anchor|Christopher}}
'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] ...That's that big shopping center over in north, north-west side of Richmond.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. I've never heard of it.

[[File:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|right|thumb|Regency Square Bear Band]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and it has a Bear Band there... that's uh, where I got...that's where I learned about "Christian" and got my name changed from "Christopher" to "Christian."

'''Bob:''' How come none of your fans know about it?

'''Chris:''' For one I didn't share it arou- didn't talk about it very much.

'''Bob:''' When he was born... I was too chicken to name him "Christian."

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Wow.

'''Bob:''' I was too... so I named him "Christopher."

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' But I really wanted to name him "Christian."

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And so, when he was... what? Seven or eight years old...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' ...we were over at Regency Square...

'''Chris:''' Yeah I think his photo...

'''Bob:''' ...at [[Christmas]] time. And they had this automated Bear Band.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Like... they had bear characters that were playing instruments, and one of them was conducting and singing.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And...but underneath there was this old man fella talking, and he had a camera, so he could see who he was talking to. And he [''inaudible''] talking to the Bear.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] was British...had a British accent anyway. But he was talking to Christopher. And he asked Chris-he asked uh, Chris his name. He said "Christopher," but he misunderstood.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And he thought he said Christian.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' So he started calling him Christian.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Over there... at the mall.

'''Emily:''' Mm.

'''Bob:''' Guess he liked that, and uh, so later we got- later we got... later we did all the paperwork.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Made it official, changed it from-from "Christopher" to "Christian."

'''Emily:''' Well at least he got the name that you wanted to give him.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, yeah I know. But...and then Christian came along with later and confided in me like he does sometimes...

'''Emily:''' [awkward laugh]

'''Bob:''' ...sometimes, that he had so much- too many [[stress|problems]] here in [[Greene County]], north of here where we live.

[loud cough, probably Chris]

'''Bob:''' It's a little small county 'n rural. Got... maybe 10,000 people in there.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' It's about ten... yeah, about ten miles up the road.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And, uh... he had so much trouble over the school system there. They tried to put him in an institution for years. For years I fought 'em in court.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And I kept winning and winning and winning, but finally I took him to Richmond to go to school...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' ...to get him away from...them.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And I spent seven years over there with him in a townhouse while his mother was working over here.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' But, um...anyway, he confided in me one day after we changed his name.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' He was all, "I really wanted to change my name to uh, to be a Christian as a new life in Chesterfield County...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' We left Christopher over there with those people in Greene County.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but then here's the [unintelligible] I thought...I real-I realized, uh, later after we came back to our [[Ruckersville]] home here.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Uh...yeah, um...after we came back I started hearing Christopher, like you know, Christopher Thorndyke from ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'', at least.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' It's like... it's like- like you know...at the same time it's like th-those...it's like the past spirit of Christopher saying [''high-pitched voice''] "You should change your name!"

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Anyway, we're still... we're still back in the same house, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] programmed... I had an interesting life...

'''Emily:''' I don't know.

===Chris's card game history (0:55:24–0:59:24)===

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] Now I can play around... [''Chris talks over him'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well actually, uh, also you know, [''inaudible; possibly 'brace yourself for the history of how it originally started'.''] [coughs] In Chesterfield County in 1998.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' In the February [[1998|'98]] issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'', uh... they had the p- the had the uh, they had the Char- they had the Charmeleon Pokémon card from the first base set.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Two months...yeah, like a month or two after that, over by the [[Books-A-Million]] I signed up for the Pok... I uh, with...uh...within that time I uh learned to play the game after I picked up some cards from the deck. Then I went to the Poké- I started going to the Pokémon league over there, at the Books-a-Million.

'''Bob or possibly a bystander:''' Oh my god.

'''Chris:''' Then we moved back to Ruckersville, uh, been around, uh, went to Pokemon League over at, uh, [[Toys|Toys "R" Us]], then uh [''inaudible, sounds like "The End".'], and uh, finally over at [[The Game Place|The, uh, Game Place]].

'''Bob:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' But then they [[Banned|kicked me out]], uh, last... June of last year.

'''Emily:''' Was that at the Toys "R" Us or, uh, the End...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they don't...they don't do that anymore [''unintelligible''].

'''Emily:''' You could always, like, go back to those places, I mean, maybe they've...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ...got other [[card games]] that you can play.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well [clears throat] I think why- also why one of the reasons why I decided to go back to playing ''[[Eye of Judgment]]''.

'''Emily:''' Mm.

'''Chris:''' I'm going to the online tournament that's like starting today.

'''Emily:''' Are you gonna...are you joining? Or...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's basically all I have to do is go online and play against...

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' ...oh... uh... against opponents like around the world.

'''Emily:''' Oh. Nothing hard. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' You play him, you'll probably win.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, if I get... if I get within the top 100 I win the free promo cards they're off- offering.

'''Emily:''' Uh, what do you... what do you get if you win like first place, do you know?

'''Chris:''' A title.

'''Emily:''' A title? [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Yep. A title. If I don't go-

'''Emily:''' Why don't-no money or anything like that?

'''Chris:''' No, but...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' ...you know, at least I get the free promo cards.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And I'd-I'd just as soon get the cards than the title, but if I get the title, then that's just plain dumb luck right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Like [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|that one time]] you won what, $500 worth of stuff?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I-

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, uh, four hunnerdollar gamecar- [[GameStop]] gift card from that ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' gift card.

'''Emily:''' Oh yeah! I voted for you.

'''Chris:''' Thank you.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] You're welcome.

'''Bob:''' But he won.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean I shared it with my church's congre-my church congregation.

'''Emily:''' Well what did you spend your portion... did you spend some of it on yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I spent it on myself. I got some [[Wii]] games for myself, ''Country Music'' and ''[[RuleCWC|Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess]]''.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Yeah, you were popular at the church.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' You gave...you gave about 10 or 15 games away, right?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, it wasn't-it wasn't like 10 or 15, I'd say it's more like, uh, five or eight.

'''Emily:''' Five or eight.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but you know the top three, you know, the uh... three of the children over there, they uh, they requested from me, they appre-they appreciated it so much they gave me... made this little tree for me and little ah-ah-ah branches...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' And put like the... they put like fun little ornaments, like you know, like you know twist-tie- you know, twist-ties...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' ...and the uh... shoot, what is it?... pipe cleaner.

'''Emily:''' Mm. Oh.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible''] pipe cleaner, paper butterflies, pa-paper hearts and pa- uh, used paper clips...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' ...and wrote their names on the... on the card there. It was... a nice little gesture.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' For, you know, appreciation and the fact that I was shar-

'''Emily:''' Yeah, that was very nice for you to do that and for them to thank you like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' How about sending me a copy of your publication... of your [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Emily:''' What was that again?

'''Bob:''' About sending me a copy.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I might join. I guess I'd have to change my...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' -[[Tomgirl|gender]], wouldn't I?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' How would you feel about your dad being a Sonichu Girl?

'''Chris:''' Now...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' He could be a... he could be an honorary Sonichu Guy.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' How about that?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, that'll work.

'''Bob:''' You gotta tell me what's going on.

'''Emily:''' You don't know what's going on.

'''Chris:''' [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' It's basically girl chatter amongst the four of us, right?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

===Girls (0:59:26–1:05:21)===

'''Chris:''' I-I like to see the girls talk. I listened to girls talk a lot back in high school because I have my wide circle of [[gal-pal]]s...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' ...between my high-school years and also my elementary-school years. And also I didn't live my young life. In my neighborhood I was pretty much the only guy in the neighborhood.

'''Emily:''' [laughs] Well then, lucky for you.

'''Chris:''' [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [[JERKS|All the other guys]] are jealous.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Bob:''' My favorite girl, I guess, on the TV – aside from your mother, who's not on TV – my favorite girl.

'''Chris:''' [[Wikipedia:Shirley Temple|Shirley Temple]]?

'''Bob:''' No, that was back when I was a kid [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but [[Pedofork|you do like Shirley Temple a lot]].

'''Bob:''' And uh, uh this is one that's on uh... MSNBC if you watch that. On the NBC Money channel.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Name is [[Wikipedia:Erin Burnett|Erin Burnett]]. She is a smart girl. She hosts a lot of it. She's been...already been to Russia and Asia already. She must be...no more than 25? She is very smart. She impresses me, she's a really smart girl. Not a brunette, [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I don't know about [''inaudible'']. [[Kacey|Flakey blondes]].

'''Emily:''' Do you like blondes?

'''Chris:''' I like blondes. But, you know, it's so... [[Women's rights|that's so stereotypical]]...

'''Bob:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' ...to call 'em flakey cause they're not all flakey.

'''Bob:''' No, they're not. No way.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Like you know [[Pamela Anderson]] is very smart.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [laughs]

'''Chris:''' ...just to name one at least. She wrote the book, ''Star''.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [[Wikipedia:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton]] also wrote a book, too.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Have you ever read that?

'''Chris:''' No I no-I haven't even heard of it.

'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah. She wrote her own book.

'''Chris:''' That's cool. [''pause''] I think Britney Spears wrote a book too, didn't she?

'''Emily:''' Yeah. [[Britney Spears]] is really smart. Even though people like, diss her blah blah blah saying, but she's pretty intelligent.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So anyway, there you go. Three blondes, right there, that are sexified [''unintelligible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm... I guess that's why he would be uh, he would-it's one reason he was attracted to my mom, is she reminds him of Marcie, you know?

'''Bob:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' I guess she kind of turned him off being Marcie-ish,

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' being a Marcie type yourself. I mean...

'''Bob:''' She looked like [[Wikipedia:Elizabeth Taylor|Liz Taylor]] then.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Everybody thought she was Liz Taylor.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. By the way, uh Emily, how old did you say you were again?

'''Emily:''' I'm nineteen.

'''Chris:''' Nineteen.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' OK.

'''Emily:''' I started hi- I started college.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you started college as a journalist.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. Something I'd like- I don't want to really, you know, go for a degree where, you know, I won't be happy with it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] No, you keep writing...

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' Then you look at it, and put it down for a day or two.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Then you decide [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' There's a... in my creative writing class what we do sometimes is that we write one line each day for a story, and just, every day we just write a different line, and eventually like after maybe a month or two, you know, it's supposed to be a story.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] But then, you pick it up and lay it down, you pick it up and look at it again...

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' ...and each time you little minute corrections.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Mild corrections. But that's the way to do it. And if you don't try, you don't-you don't gain nothing [unintelligible]

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' You gotta keep trying. You know, you don't give up... who knows, some crazy bear might come along and call you "Christian."

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [''laughs''] What?

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] silly bear might come along and call you "Christian," right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] No, I don't think so. I don't think a-I don't think a British bear could confuse "Emily"...

'''Emily:''' Yeah. I don't-there's no other name that really sounds like Emily.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible] there was a writer named [[Wikipedia:Emily Dickinson|Emily]].

'''Chris:''' [[Virgin with rage|Emily Dickinson]]?

'''Bob:''' Yeah, Emily Dickinson.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I couldn't even remember...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|I just slipped]]- [[Semen|it just came up]]. That was the only Emily I could think of who was a writer at the time.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' There's probably a lot of Emilys I'm sure.

'''Bob:''' His mother keeps tellin' me- [''Chris talks over him'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' His mother keeps tellin' me I got more dibs though [''unintelligible''].

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Emily Julia Schifflet.

'''Emily:''' Yep.

'''Chris:''' That's her full name, Dad.

'''Bob:''' Is it Schifflet?

'''Chris''' and '''Emily''' simultaneously: Yep.

'''Bob:''' Well now I want you to know something. If you were in Greene County, they'd welcome you with open arms.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Because Schifflet... and what's the other name up there? Uh, two- two names basically in Greene County. One of 'em's Schifflet, and... Marks, is the other one

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And it was Marks, or Schifflet your native tongue.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Betcha got lotsa relatives up there and don't even know it.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I have a lot of, um, a lot of family, but I don't know most of them. I stick with my parents and maybe a few aunts.

'''Bob:''' Where do they live?

'''Emily:''' What was that again?

'''Bob:''' Well, where do your parents live?

'''Emily:''' Oh, they live up in West Virginia too. They moved up there as well.

'''Bob:''' They moved up there.

'''Emily:''' Mhm.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] wild wonderful weather.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, they don't have...they-they wanna let me go on my own, really. [''pause''] [''Chris talks over her'']

'''Chris:''' You took a big step.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I don't trust them, either.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] we've been to a lot of parks. I keep telling him now that he's young and I'm old, and why don't he take me to [[McIntire Park|the park]]?

'''Emily:''' Oh!

'''Bob:''' He-he won't do it.

'''Emily:''' [''clears throat'']

'''Chris:''' Listen to him.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' I think it ought to be ['inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Do you agree with that?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' I spent twenty-seven years of my life with you, why can't you spend twenty-seven years of your life with me?

===Basketball and a fateful trip (1:05:23–1:14:22)===

'''Chris:''' Because, [unintelligible]

'''Bob:''' I'm not gonna live that long, I know.

'''Emily:''' [awkward laugh]

'''Bob:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I spend time with you, Dad. Like I spend time with you now when you [''inaudible''] wanted to meet Emily. Before uh, you know, when you leave, uh, leave-leave us alone and let us do our talking.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] go home and watch some [[Bionic|basketball]].

'''Emily:''' That's something to do right there.

'''Bob:''' Yeah. And I'll see what's goin' on...[''inaudible''] the [[Wikipedia:National Collegiate Athletic Association|NCAA]].

'''Emily:''' I don't watch a lot of sports, really.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible] You don't watch [inaudible]?

'''Emily:''' I don't really watch sports. I mean, I sometimes will with some of my friends, but I can't really get into it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and I was actually a manager-slash-waterboy in my freshman year of Man-at [[Manchester High School]]'s varsity basketball team.

'''Emily:''' Were you good at it? Did you say you were- you played basketball?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, a little bit.

'''Emily:''' Are you good?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm fair.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' But, you know I was...I-pl-...y-you know my freshman year I manager and waterboy for the varsity basketball team.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

[''P.A. system faintly in background'']

'''Bob:''' Good, cause I think I'm gonna go home.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Alright, dad, well you have a safe trip.

'''Bob:''' You can do whatever you want, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Bob:''' Whatever time Emily wants to spend with you.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I can't stay too much longer. I have to get going back to co-

'''Bob:''' Headin' back to West Virginia tonight?

'''Emily:''' Yep.

'''Bob:''' You are, huh? What is the drive... four-hour, five-hour drive?

'''Emily:''' About five-hour drive.

'''Bob:''' I'm a little too old for that.

'''Emily:''' [''short laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, especially since I was young [''unintelligible''] the eight-hour round trip total drive.

{{anchor|Cleveland}}
'''Bob:''' He-he drove to Cleveland and back on the same day.

'''Emily:''' I...vaguely heard about that. What-what happened?

'''Bob:''' He got stupid and drove up there to try to meet [[Julie|somebody]] and they weren't there. He took off and we didn't even know about it.

'''Chris:''' No, I left them a note.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Bob:''' But, uh, he got up there and got back, same day. I can't imagine driving... I can't even fly to Cleveland and fly back in the same day.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Di-did you have a good drive at least? Was it...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' ...relaxing a little bit?

'''Chris:''' Yeah [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' Well, if you went-he went up from here over to pick up the Interstate 81, and he went up and picked up the Pennsylvania Turnpike...

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' ...and he went up and picked up the Ohio Turnpike... and locked himself out of his car.

'''Chris:''' Uh...

'''Emily:''' How did you lock yourself out of your car?

'''Chris:''' I [''inaudible''] my keys in there at the t-toll booth.

'''Emily:''' Oh? How did you get them out? You had to call like the locksmith or something?

'''Chris:''' Uh, fortunately, uh, one of the uh, people at-people over at that toll booth had [[Wikipedia:American Automobile Association|AAA]].

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK. So they were able to help you out.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] mother [''inaudible''] cross the street [''inaudible''] here he is at the Ohio state line.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' W-we didn't sleep very well that day.

'''Emily:''' I can imagine.

'''Bob:''' Finally he got home, about three o'clock in the morning, and he left at, what...

'''Chris:''' Five-thirty.

'''Bob:''' Six o-Six o'clock in the morning?

'''Chris:''' Five-thirty.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] find anybody till we came back.

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I didn't get killed.

'''Emily:''' Yeah. I think I [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] We were worried about that.

'''Emily:''' Hm-

'''Chris:''' I had money for gas and food.

'''Bob:''' He's never driven over fifty miles out of town before.

'''Chris:''' Well that was an adventure for me.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Bet that was an experience.

'''Chris:''' Yep. But I had my [[PSP]] with me to play uh, music on the trip. I had a novel with uh, long driving. Recently [''unintelligible''] paradise.

'''Bob:''' Fortunately, he was checking in with us on his cell phone, every once in a while so we could [''inaudible''] [[money]]...

'''Emily:''' Oh, so you knew he was going to O-Ohio.

'''Bob:''' He left us a note.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' ...detailed note.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' With maps and everything.

'''Chris:''' A copy of the map...

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' ...I got from Mapquest.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] he left [inaudible] when he left home he had about ten dollars in his pocket.

'''Chris:''' No, I had-I had forty.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' I had forty dollars. I had forty dollars plus ten dollars in my pocket. Forty dollars came from my birthday money.

'''Bob:''' That wouldn't even-that wouldn't even take care of the toll [''inaudible''] turnpike.

'''Chris:''' I didn't expect that toll to be eleven dollars.

'''Bob:''' [inaudible]

'''Emily:''' Really? Eleven dollars for a toll booth?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Th-th-they give you a card at one checkpoint, then when you get to the next checkpoint, depending on the distance-depending on uh, how far it was from that checkpoint...

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Chris:''' ...from one tollbooth to the next.

'''Bob:''' Wherever you get off, then you gotta pay.

'''Emily:''' Oh, OK.

'''Bob:''' You'd never been-never been on a toll road before.

'''Chris:''' [''unintelligible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''unintelligible''] for a toll booth with about a dollar. [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Well you can get on and fill it out, and drive all the way to the Ohio line.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Pittsburgh. I guess they charge you twenty, twenty-five dollars for that.

'''Emily:''' Dang.

'''Bob:''' But he got on in the middle, in a place called [[Wikipedia:Breezewood, Pennsylvania|Breezewood]].

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' You've probably heard of Breezewood. It's up there... just-just northeast of uh, West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' And, uh, yeah and you go to Breezewood and hang a left. I thought he-I thought he was up here in the valley.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' Couple hundred miles away and then he was at the Ohio state line.

'''Emily:''' [''short laugh'']

'''Bob:''' That was some day for us. We were a little worried. Then he-then he started back. We were led to believe that he was about three hundred -about two hundred miles away.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' Turns out he was just outside of Ohio, Cleveland, when he called.

'''Emily:''' At least you were able to get back safely.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Bob:''' I don't know how he did it. Three o'clock in the morning, I'd have been numb. I wouldn't have been able to.

'''Chris:''' [''laughs'']

'''Emily:''' [''inaudible''] at night.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well I got bet-I got [[Pedo-Glasses|better eyesight]] than he does.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] mine keeps going downhill [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Thing called old age and [[David Alan Chandler|glaucoma]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus consi-plus considering [[video games]]... training, a lot of video game time I've logged in over my lifetime.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' And uh, see going through the many types of, like, games, playing [[ModNation Racers|racing]], and RPG...

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' ...and all, and the [[Sonichu Adventure|adventures]] and all that...

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' But it's like, it's only helpful when you have the directions from Mapquest, and uh, you can uh, find a world map of the uh, east-of the we-of the eastern coast of the United States.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' Which is really Virginia. And uh, Ohio in the road I was- the route I was taking, it was directed from that

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Which I highlighted with a blue marker.

'''Bob:''' I have to admit, I did something just about as dumb when I was a kid.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' Oh, you did something dumb?

'''Bob:''' Yeah I did. Well, I'd already been to Korea and back. When I was in Korea, like I said, before the Korean War.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And I'd always spent my time with the army, well I was in school.

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Bob:''' And I had a friend that was in Auburn, down in Alabama, way down there, you know.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' And um, I had a friend [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Bob:''' ...in the Army. So, [[Christmas]] break, Christmas time, right. I didn't have anywhere to go. I decided to hitchhike.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' Yeah. While I was in the Army, I spent nine months in New York anyway.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] Fort [''???''] [''inaudible''] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.

'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Chris:''' No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.

'''Bob:''' Uh-

'''Chris:''' I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Yeah, so dumb me, I thought I could hitchhike to-to [[Clyde Cash|New Jersey]]...now this was like the middle of December.

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Warm in Alabama but not in New Jersey.

'''Emily:''' [laughs]

'''Bob:''' I got there, and then I had to stay a couple weeks-

'''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] And by the way you know

'''Bob:''' -then I ran out of money-

'''Chris:''' You know that-

'''Bob:''' -and then I had to try to-

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' -find-to fi-to get back to my way home.

'''Chris:''' Just to let you know, uh, went up to Cleveland, [inaudible] kind of like, uh, run down. I thought, Jersey probably looks better.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' By comparison.

'''Bob:''' I've done [[Barbara|dumb things]] too.

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' There you go.

'''Chris:''' He went to a bad town...he went to a bad slummy town called Jersey, I went to a bad slummy town called Cleveland.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' Well I've been to Cleveland too, I know Cleveland well.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I me-I me-I mean he took the stupid long trip to Jersey, I took the stupid long trip to see Cleveland.

'''Bob:''' And I was hitchhiking and you were in the car. It was different. It used to be safe to walk.

'''Emily:''' Oh.

'''Bob:''' And you can't even hitchhike places today.

'''Emily:''' Nowadays you can't do that.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' [''inaudible''] down the road.

'''Emily:''' Yeah [''unintelligible''] [''laughs'']

'''Bob:''' [laughs]

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Bob:''' Well, I'll see you later. You have a good trip.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Emily:''' Alright.

'''Bob:''' Don't go to sleep. If you get sleepy, pull over.

'''Emily:''' OK, don't worry, I will.

===A walk to remember (1:14:23–1:21:43)===

Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall.

'''Bob:''' Take care.

'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk…

Bob babbles on about sending something.

'''Emily:''' Okay... okay, you can show me around the mall…

'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my uh, eyeline.

'''Emily:''' [nervous tittering]

They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly.

'''Chris:''' [sigh] So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center?

'''Emily:''' [''impatiently''] [[Rosechu|Clothes stores]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh...

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' …a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands…

'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... Yeah... but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a KB [[Toys]] here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes |my thousand dollar shopping spree]] I won around the… around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh.

'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that…

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' …you might remember that, uh, news clip…

'''Emily:''' Yeah! [[DVD|I've seen-I've seen it.]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

''Chris nervously takes a few steps.''

'''Chris:''' Wow... you're like… I'm sorry.

'''Emily:''' [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' I'm just kinda fascinated like… you're just like…just like a character from ''PGSM'' or somebody else came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television!

'''Emily:''' [nervous laughter] No I'm definitely all American.

'''Chris:''' You're all American.

'''Emily:''' I'm all American.

'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are deshe- [[Chris and English|decepting]].

'''Emily:''' [shameless subject change] Yeah... so what's your favorite store here?

'''Chris:''' Yeah it's, it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- uh- either- I think it's- I would say it's mostly GameStop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here.

'''Emily:''' What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way.

'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side…

'''Emily:''' [''bravely''] Oh that's [laughs] Okay, that's fine!

'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] [[Megan|I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right?]]

'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly.

'''Emily:''' [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' [[Megan|But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back-]]

'''Emily:''' [''vomitously''] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from ''[[Anime|InuYasha]]'' that… [''chucklingly''] always tries to [[Homos|go for the bum]].

'''Emily:''' [''vomitously''] Yeah…

'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that.

'''Emily:''' Uh... it's [[Wikipedia:List of InuYasha characters#Miroku|Miroku]].

'''Chris:''' [talking over her] Do you watch ''InuYasha''? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you actually hit it on the head right there…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

[''Emily awkwardly walks several steps.'']

'''Emily:''' [delaying] Is that the… food court there?

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court.

'''Emily:''' OK...

'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonald's here-

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' …soooo many years ago across from the GameStop there, back when it was called Babbage's…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FuncoLand and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into GameStop.

'''Emily:''' Oh... never heard about that…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth-

'''Emily:''' Yeah... I play video games sometimes, but not very often…

'''Salesman:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH.

'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you!

'''Chris:''' No thank you! Yeah... right over- see- where that PacSun, that's where PacSun used to be, where [[Anna McLerran]]-

'''Emily:''' Oh yeah... I've… I've heard of her as well…

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Emily:''' Is she still around?

'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to uh, Utah.

'''Emily:''' Utah…

'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah…

'''Emily:''' Uh-huh!

'''Chris:''' For her twentieth birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. [''emphatically''] I k- I bought the cake.

'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you still keep in contact with her?

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh... no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state.

'''Emily:''' Oh... did she move to Utah too?

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I [[dream]] I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see [[Megan]] and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] in there… John's her brother…

'''Emily:''' Oh ok...

'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then,

'''Emily:''' [small laughter]

'''Chris:''' …but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny?

'''Emily:''' [''slightly sarcastically''] Yeah... that is kinda funny!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... FYE was over there…

'''Emily:''' Oh... I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's.

'''Emily:''' Oh...

'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff-

'''Emily:''' [quickly] No, I'm not into that.

'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! [laughs]

'''Emily:''' [nervous laughter]

'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway.

'''Emily:''' Yeah... well... doesn't look like there's anything down here…

'''Chris:''' Yeah... not much… not much to look at around here… the toy stores around here are down here…

'''Emily:''' Oh... well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive!

'''Chris:''' Long drive…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories, uh , we've shared…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want…

'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… [[Women's rights|it's that time of the month]]…

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period…

'''Emily:''' Yeah... [''nervous laughter'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general…

'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy!

'''Chris:''' Thank you…

'''Emily:''' I don't know why like, people pick on you and all that…

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person…

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave…

'''Emily:''' [''steering the beast''] Have you been into any of these stores over here?

===Meet the Pickle (1:21:44–1:25:29)===

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] pick you up right here? Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see ''Watchmen'', would you?

'''Chris:''' Uh... no.

'''Emily:''' I haven't seen that movie.

'''Chris:''' [''shocked''] Uh... any particular reason why you're dressed up like that?

'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular.

'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily.

'''Emily:''' What?

'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Huh, ya want to go see ''Watchmen''? Lots of, uh...

'''Emily:''' [gloating] Why, what's wrong?

'''Chris:''' The man in the [[pickle]] suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… [[trolls]].

'''Pickle Man:''' You think…

'''Emily:''' What's a tro…

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Passerby:''' Who are you?

'''Passerby:''' Sir… sir, what are you?

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle.

'''Passerby:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles.

'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool.

'''Passerby:''' And who are you advertising with?

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising.

'''Passerby:''' You're just dressed for fun?

'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored.

'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME.

'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you.

'''Passerby:''' You're just bored?

'''Pickle Man:''' Yep!

'''Chris:''' [questioningly] You don't even know me… are you sure… have you-do you have [[Internet]] access?

'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have Internet access.

'''Chris:''' Do you know [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]?

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not.

'''Chris:''' Do you know about [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]?

'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. [''turning to Emily''] Want to go see ''Watchmen''?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sighs''] No, no, no, she's with-

'''Emily:''' Alright!

'''Chris:''' …she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town.

'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, ''Watchmen'' would be pretty cool.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh...

'''Emily:''' Let's go see it!

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay, cool.

'''Emily:''' Yeah?

'''Pickle Man:''' [''to Emily as they turn to leave together''] You've probably seen ''Watchmen'' [''he refers to the novel''], haven't you?

'''Chris:''' [''answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind''] I've heard of ''Watchmen''…

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs at Chris'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man'']

'''Emily:''' [''gloating''] What's wrong with him?

'''Pickle Man:''' SOMETHING. You like pickles?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do not like pickles.

'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles?

'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the Internet pretending that he was [[Blanca]]!

'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him!

'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca?

'''Chris:''' [''[[stress sigh]]s/grunts'']

'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy.

'''Chris:''' Well, alright. [''small voiced, stressed as he moves closer to Emily'']

'''Pickle Man:''' I-I think you're making the lady a little-uncomfortable there, Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sighs''] I'm sorry, Emily.

'''Emily:''' It's ok... I think I have… to go to the bathroom now…

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon.

'''Chris:''' Oh boy. [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' [''inaudible''] …but I guess I do now.

'''Emily:''' [''attempting to brush him off''] OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well… I kinda… [''inaudible'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [''as they continue trying to walk away''] Well, we're going to go now.

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well…

'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- [''to Pickle Man''] you're not going where she's going…

'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together.

'''Chris:''' Are you with her?

'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are. We're going to go see ''Watchmen''.

'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you.

'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see ''Watchmen'' first.

'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- ''Watchmen'' is not that long of a movie.

'''Chris:''' [''suddenly concerned for Emily''] Yeah, but you got a five-hour drive!

'''Emily:''' [''dismissively''] It'll be okay.

[footsteps]

'''Emily:''' Hmmm.

'''Pickle Man:''' Going this way?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom. Tampon time.

[Pickle Man asks Chris a question]

'''Chris:''' Uhhhhhh... no.

[''The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies.'']

'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends...

'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya!

===Hiding out in the bathroom (1:25:29–1:29:34)===

[''There is a long lacuna as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom.'']

'''Passerby:''' [inaudible]...[[Chris and fashion|very fashionable looking]].

'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you!

'''Passerby:''' The mall should pay you for walking around.

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

[''Another long silence as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.'']

===A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)===

'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go?

'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's… Your car's [''inaudible''] didn't you?

'''Emily:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I.

'''Emily:''' Oh, you did?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Emily:''' Which Belk?

'''Chris:''' Tha- that way.

'''Emily:''' Oh... I'm over there.

'''Chris:''' Oh. [''continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily'']

'''Emily:''' Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car.

'''Chris:''' Okaaay.

'''Emily:''' This is… Alright.

'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh... West Virginia.

'''Emily:''' Oh... [''feigning cheerfulness''] okay! I might call you on Skype later.

'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care.

'''Emily:''' You too.

'''Chris:''' Hey… [''attempts to hug and kiss Emily'']

'''Emily:''' [''tries to avoid Chris''] No…N-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Emily''] I-I was gonna kiss... just on the cheek...

'''Emily:''' [''Overlaps with Chris''] N-no... no thank you! [''nervous laughter''] No thank you.

'''Chris:''' [''gives up''] Okay.

'''Emily:''' Alright, see you.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe.

'''Emily:''' Alright, you too.

[''Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' [yelling from a distance] HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!

[''There is laughter from Pickle Man and Emily.'']

'''Emily:''' ['laughing''] Mission accomplished!

'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet?

'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind.

'''Pickle Man:''' Oh no he's leaving... I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry.

'''Emily:''' That's okay! [''inaudible''] worse than me…

'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry.

'''Emily:''' That's okay.

'''Pickle Man:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Emily:''' Yeah...

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay... [''inaudible''] man in the pickle suit?

'''Emily:''' [''laughs'']

'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughing, says something about Clyde Cash'']

'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Wait there… there's Frosty.

'''Pickle Man:''' What?

'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened.

'''Pickle Man:''' Okay.

'''Emily:''' [''presumably walking to see Frosty''] Yes! Still recording!

==External links==
* <s>[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n Full audio]</s> DELETED

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

User:Chupathingy

2012-10-26T03:35:17Z

Chupathingy:

Just cleaning up, doing my civic duty as a resident of CWCville. Mostly doing typo edits, striking out references to Megaupload links and shit like that.

Gratitude for a good person in N.C.

2012-10-26T01:46:10Z

Chupathingy: changing "dinosaur of desktop computer" to "dinosaur of a desktop computer"

'''Gratitude for a good person in N.C.''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 23 [[August 2011]] in which he thanks an anonymous fan from North Carolina for sending him a laptop, as Chris's [[Computer|dinosaur of a desktop computer]] is [[Kitchen|covered in a mass of Hungry Man boxes and Christmas decorations]]. Despite the title, Chris still finds it necessary to point out how his upgrade has made the laptop [[Chris and his ego|"better."]]

{{Infobox/video
| name = Gratitude for a good person in N.C.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eih4mhp1TQM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}} {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
| next = [[Victory Rockout]]
}}

{{quote|HE/SHE WILL be getting a hand-written Thank You Letter.}}

== Transcript ==

And now at this moment, I would like to express a note of gratitude from a fan from the state of N.C. for sending me his or her old lap-top computer.

''[flips camera around to show a dark blue HP laptop]''

Secondhand, but it works very well. I had it checked, and it contains no viruses but still, ''[displays the [[claw of fail|claw]] and cocks eyebrow]'' I upgraded it, and it is better! It is like brand new! So, thank you very much, fan from North Carolina for sending me ''[turns to the laptop]'' the laptop!

And if anyone else wishes to contribute towards the [[Sonichu 10|execution]] of trolls and cyberbullies so that nobody else will have to be victim, you may feel free to-you may feel free to contribute in any way that you see fit.

Generously, and pleasantly, Thank you very much.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]|nextlink=[[Victory Rockout]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-23 c]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

The MovingFoward videos

2012-10-24T22:16:05Z

Chupathingy: minor typo fix

[[Image:ARCH.jpg|center|300px]]
{{quote|If a [[troll]] actually comes up with such "footage" and gives it to someone like [[Clyde Cash]], Clyde would NOT give out any [[money]]. So, with that considered, I would never make such a gay video, or PS3-wrecking video, for even a Billion Dollars.|Chris, two days before doing the video. For free.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 10]]</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcps3.jpg|thumb|One lucky console]]

The '''MovingFoward videos''' are a compilation of three leaked videos ('''MovingFoward''', '''MovingFurtherFoward''', '''100_2209.MOV''') where [[Chris]] physically destroys his [[PS3]]. Having first followed [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|good hard drive disposal practice]], Chris says a few choice words before destroying the console with a brick, [[Son-Chu|his car]], and some scissors. Some photographs of the console in various states of destruction were also leaked.

Chris says that after smashing his console and driving over it with his car, he plugged it in again, apparently to prove that it would no longer function. He seems to have been unaware of the [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|danger of fire]] or [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric]] shock involved (or perhaps, in his despondent state, he simply didn't care).

Many [[trolls]] had come up with theories as to why Chris smashed his beloved Life Upgrade. Eventually, it was revealed in a [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|communication between Chris and some high-profile trolls]] that Chris wanted to claim a very large monetary reward for its destruction. To no one's surprise, not only was there supposedly a reward waiting for such an act like this, but it has been completely in vain on Chris's part.

Interesting to note here is that, like the snake he tried to run over, the cardboard box and the [[clown doll]], it takes Chris three tries AND [[ItIsFinished.MOV|a coup de grace the next day]] just to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|BREAK DEAD]] his PS3.

== Video ==

{{Infobox/video
| name = MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward & 100_2209.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2rVhTdCIJc8}}
| stardate = 29 August 2010
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| shirt = {{HighSchoolShirt|text}}, Sleeveless Pokéshirt
| previous = [[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]
| next = [[ItIsFinished.MOV]]

}}

{{quote|Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. I bid you... fond... faredieu.}}

== Transcript ==

===Part one (MovingForward)===

[''An opening title card appears, which reads "MovingForward." We cut to Chris, who is standing around outside and shakily filming himself with a handheld camera.'']

Saturday, August 28, 2010.

[''Chris removes his [[glasses]].'']

I make this video... as a tribute... to [[Gal-pal|what I have lost]]. But also from which I have lost, I have [[Hair|lost something that was of important value]], but I am able to let go. It is the [[Song of Christian|spirit of myself... of which was very lonely]]. But now move on, to a [[Video games|much brighter future]]. And now for the... feature presentation. On this video. What you are about to see is [[April 16 Fetish Vids|uncensored and unedited]].

[''He moves the camera to show his PS3, which has a case cover plastered in artwork of himself and [[Sonichu]].'']

My PlayStation 3, here in the backyard.

[''He opens the access port to show the hard drive.'']

The hard drive still in there. [''pause''] Formatted as it was. And for a memento... I'm keeping the cover.

[''He removes the case cover, complete with the original [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]] drawing, and puts it to one side. Then he focuses the camera on himself again.'']

Again, it's very- this- this is [[CWCFlyingElephants|very graphic]], so if you are weak in the stomach, especially as a gamer, look away, and I mean no [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|disrespect to Sony Computer Entertainment America]]. Maker of the fine product.

[''Chris mumbles something unintelligible amid the noise of moving the camera. He then sets the camera down so it is focused on his PS3. He then puts on a pair of work gloves and picks up a piece of landscaping brick while an airplane flies overhead.'']

Vessel of my loneliness for the past three years of anguish. [[Chris and English|I bid you... fond... faredieu.]] Adieu. Fond farewell~...

[''Chris uses the brick to bash his PS3 for the better part of a minute, never raising the brick over his head and only cracking the outer case. [[Chris and health|He pauses a few times to catch his breath]]. After a time, he moves back over to the camera.'']

[[Chris and reality|Crushed. Unplayable.]] The deed is done.

===Part two (MovingFurtherForward)===

[''Cut to a second title card, "MovingFurtherForward." It is nighttime - barely anything is visible. The camera is looking at Chris's driveway, in front of his (running) car. The headlights allow us to see Chris place the PS3 in front of the left front wheel of Son-Chu. He gets in the car, backs up, and pulls forward, running over the PS3. After a long pause, during which a loud thumping sound is heard and a dog starts to bark, he backs up over it and pulls forward over it again. Chris moves over to the camera again and points it at something, presumably the PS3.'']

Well, you get the idea, anyway. It's useless! Broken!

===Part three (REALLYMovingForward)===

[''Cut to a third title card, "'100_2209.MOV' (A.K.A. 'REALLYMovingForward')." We are in Chris's bedroom. The camera shows us the wreckage of his PS3, very much the worse for wear. In addition to beating the hell out of it, he appears to have cracked the case and broken it down to its component parts, which he shows us by panning the camera around. Chris's speech appears to be [[Alcohol|slurred slightly]].'']

[''sighs''] Well, I [[6 June 2010|run it over with a car]] and smashed it with a brick. Ugh. I thought I hit it on the metal part and the heavy plastic, but still, when I look at- still, when I plugged it in, it did not turn on. Actually, it went into standby mode, but that's all- as far as it went. [[Chris and English|That's all it went]]. So right now I'm gonna finish the job. Finish the job.

[''Chris sets down the camera to show himself and the PS3 parts. He then picks up a pair of scissors, which he uses to stab repeatedly at bits of his former console. Partway through the stab-fest, he unfolds the scissors and goes at it two-fisted. Wearing out after about 45 seconds, he folds up his scissors and sifts through the debris.'']

[[Duck|Look at that bend.]] [[Chris and anger|Broke a whole buncha stuff.]] Now you tell me... it's still good! It ain't now!

[''Chris stands up and the video cuts off.'']

== Destruction gallery ==

In addition to the poor quality video footage of the PS3's destruction, numerous photographs of the before and after have been leaked:

<center><gallery>
File:PreCar1.JPG|Pre-Car
File:PreCar2.JPG|Car
File:PostCar.JPG|Post-Car
</gallery></center>
<center><gallery>
File:100 2208.JPG
File:100 2210.JPG
File:100 2211.JPG
File:100 2212.JPG
File:100 2213.JPG
File:100 2214.JPG
File:100 2215.JPG
File:Cameragroup002.jpg
File:Cameragroup003.jpg
File:Cameragroup004.jpg
</gallery></center>
== Fan videos ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = R.I.P. CWC's PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|iPKvmCzuDC0}}
| Stardate = 29 August 2010
| Maker = tehcosmicexplorer08
| Video Type = Tribute
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute To Chris-Chan's PS3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lFIVUtNszoE}}
| Stardate = 1 September 2010
| Maker = MountieFromHell
| Video Type = Music video
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = R.I.P. PLAYSTATION ;(
| video = {{#ev:youtube|C6ZyvxUcAMk}}
| Stardate = 13 January 2011
| Maker = shadupp
| Video Type = Music Video
}}

==References==
<references/>

== See also ==
*[[PS3]]
*[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]
*[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]
*[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]|nextlink=[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, August 2010| 2010-08-29]]
[[Category: Surfshack Tito Saga videos| 2010-08-29]]

User:Chupathingy

2012-10-21T10:08:49Z

Chupathingy: Created page with "Just cleaning up, doing my civic duty as a resident of CWCville."

Just cleaning up, doing my civic duty as a resident of CWCville.

Barbara Chandler

2012-10-21T07:23:03Z

Chupathingy: /* External links */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight overall) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara has lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref>

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating Education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF] DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]