CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:Clydespickle

2010-05-16T12:28:01Z

Clydespickle: /* SPOILER */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and donts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions| FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

<div style="clear:both;"></div>

By the way, if you need to clear the space above some article content, you can use {{tl|clear}} or {{tl|-}} to achieve this. We try to avoid adding excessive blank lines to articles :) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:42, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Thxs Anonymax--[[User:Clydespickle|ClYdEsPiCkLe]] 12:07, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

== SPOILER ==

YOUR VIDEOS ARE NOT FUNNY --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:40, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Yeah yours are way better--[[User:Clydespickle|ClYdEsPiCkLe]] 12:28, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

100 2178

2010-05-15T17:52:56Z

Clydespickle:

{{Rename}}

'''100 2178.MOV''' is a 8 [[May 2010]] video in which [[Chris]], lonely and lost at the bottom of a depression-well, reflects on the [[FAIL|state]] of his life.

He made this video after coming home alone from an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show to which he had won four tickets from a radio call-in contest. He could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, so he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple" (who probably haven't even got a [[I_Pimp_My_Ride.MOV|pimped out PS3 controller]]) while handsomer, happier, less [[autistic]] men did flips on motorcycles for the roaring crowd. This situation causes Chris to reflect introspectively on his life, or at the very least complain about the latest faults that have occurred since he and [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] broke apart.

Chris inexplicably blames the Greene County school board (which tried to pull him out of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] when he was a child) for heading a conspiracy to keep him in his "autistic shell" — first by supposedly trying to institutionalize him for being autistic then, after many years with no interaction with him, going so far as to pay a realtor more than $18,000 <ref>A rough estimate of a realtor's fee assuming a home value of $300,000 and a commission rate of 6%. [http://www.trulia.com/property/1082709830-68-Branchland-Ct-Ruckersville-VA-22968| The average home price in the area today is about $319,000] and [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/05/11/60minutes/main2790865.shtml| a realtor's commission would be 6% of that].</ref> to keep his [[14 Branchland Court|family's house]] in Ruckersville from selling so that his family would have to move back to a town where he had fewer friends after high school. The facts that about 19 other students in the district were also autistic <ref>Assuming autism is distributed uniformly, that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:US-autism-6-17-1996-2007.png| roughly 1%] of the population was autistic, and that there were 2,000 students in the Green County school district at the time. [http://www.localschooldirectory.com/district-schools/039/Greene-County-Public-Schools-District/VA| There are about 2,850 today.]</ref> and weren't paid special attention to by the school board, that every member of the that board works a full-time job and many also have children, that none of them would have the motivation to [[Troll|hound]] Chris for a decade; and that all his supposed friends from Chesterfield County have long since moved on with their lives, are now similarly indisposed, and would have nothing to gain by spending time with him even if they all lived right next door naturally do not occur to Chris.

Using the board as a not-so-convenient excuse to ignore the fact that he himself is the only consistent factor in his unbroken series of failures, he goes on to muse that they bribed [[Michael Snyder]] (years later again) to ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. (There is no "evidence" yet linking them to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the [[Jerkops]], or the 15,000 some-odd people of Greene County who somehow spontaneously decided not to be Chris's friends for no reason.) Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew" [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|a la Cartman]], stopping after "greedy". He ends the video by wishing that they, Michael Snyder, and the [[trolls]] would all go to hell for playing [[Kick the Autistic]].

Perhaps coincidentally, the video was uploaded sixteen years to the day since [[Bob]]'s case against Greene County was thrown out of court.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2178.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VwCldRr0kDc}}
| stardate = 08 May 2010
| subject = {{Autism|Life}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{OrangeSleeveless|text}}
| previous = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

[''Chris sits in the dark in front of his TV, which is turned off. He is visible only in silhouette. A fan hums in the background.'']

This is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias ''[[Christopher]]'' Weston Chandler, pre [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|1990-something]]. Anyway, I-I have sent this message to all the peo- ...ple that were of the [[Greene County]] School Board... and such... during the [[1990s]]... because... Threatening to put me in a mental institution. That was pretty much why we had to run away... and move to Chesterfield County, and I had better life over there, I had a lo- I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just ''sad'' to leave, when I, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life. But we were forced to move back here.

You people of Greene County, you could not have left us, uh, left me and my family alone. You had to go and pay off the realtors, just so, this h- so that this house here could not have been sold. If it, 'cause if it had been sold, we would have been able to stay in Chesterfield County. [''[[sigh]]''] And I would have been ha- I would have had a lot- a happier life over there, than right now and how I'm feeling. If, right now, because we ha- 'cause we were forced to move back here because of you goddamn... people who were afraid of [[autistic]] individuals.

[''[[sigh]]'']

You individuals would know who you are. I wish my family and I did not have to move back here. I wish we could have stayed in Chesterfield County, 'cause I had the better life there. And we were doing we- we were doing well, but you had to drag us down! You had to make us unable to sell our house here. You had to ''force'' my family to move back here, where I was OK and I have a couple of friends, and I'm better off with... [''Voice cracks, shakes arm to gesture at room.''] '''stuff.'''

That stuff is no good if I don't have, if I don't have many friends to share it with. [''Chokes back tears.'']

And it all just went downhill. I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn [[Michael Snyder]] to see f- to see any... so recourse... or... anything like that to make him pretend to have a reason to [[kick]] me out, quote-unquote "''scaaaaring'' his customers away!" [''Flips off the camera'']You goddamn, greedy... ''Snyder''!

[[Image:Yasg.jpg|thumb|left|The Young Adult Social Group offers Chris a solution.]]

I was at the John Paul Jones Arena earlier tonight, at the Extreme Action Sports. I had won four tickets the previous Friday, Friday of the last week, from 95.1. The few [[Trolls|friends]] I have here could not have come- could not come with me, and I could not even find anyone in the congregation to take- to go with me. 'Cause I misplaced directory for one reason. And even with the help of, uh, my pastoral counselor to get in contact with them, they did not call- none of them called me back!

And I had to sell the... tickets I had, and I had to sit there next to a... lovey-dovey couple. [''His voice begins to crack.''] Which, that was OK, you know, I was trying to be... good- I was trying to be good friend, you know... [''scratches back of head''] Sociable. [''sigh''] But still, if that was... If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, and I would- and I had a similar situation for an event there... I would definitely have had my friends I had there. Moving back here, it just dragged me downhill. So I tell you what, Greene County... Because you saw fit to make- to make me and my family have to move back here, just to make me sad, and move more into my Autistic Shell: ''you did it''.

If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, I would have been a whole lot better off. I wish you would, I wish you would have let us sell our house here. We could have stayed there. I wish you had- I wish we did not have to move back to [''sigh''] I wish we did not have to move back here nearly ten years ago.

[[Image:Wild.png|thumb|Sit and spin.]]

Laugh all you want, trolls! Because... I don't ''give'' a damn. You're all just immature, [[naive]], [[Chris and his Ego|condescending]], [[Patti|soulless]] [[sonichu|''monsters.'']] [[Chris and hypocrisy|You don't ''care'' about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!]] You [[Death threats|threaten]] me from ha- from trying to seek one of my own, by scaring me on the Internet and whatnot.

Including Clyde Cash, you can all go to hell. And all da people that were on the Greene County School Board during the 1990s then that forced us to have to move back here, '''sit and spin...''' Hell.

And Michael Snyder, I hope you go to Hell, too!

And for everybody el-, as for everybody else... Peace.
{{-}}
===Michael Snyder Replies===
{{quotebox|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk.
Signed,
That goddam Michael Snyder}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Michael Snyder is cold hearted and mean
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZMc4wFuH1WQ}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Michael Snyder cant see me fap
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y4zdY5VRbnw}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 15 May 2010
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==References==
<references />

OkCupid

2010-05-11T22:41:55Z

Clydespickle:

__NOTOC__'''OkCupid''' is one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as Match.com, OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for free, only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, it has been infected by the plague that is [[Christian Chandler]].

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|Screencap of Chris's OkCupid profile]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it very quickly — his final login was in early [[March 2009|March]], and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of true and honest love. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual sex."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and Creative.

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

''Note: OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, etc. Chris left all of these blank.''

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid, started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu". This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively benign. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This benign, easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[PS3|projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "Sonichu's Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''In english, it roughly means he's a virgin and he's autistic''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the final version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -Sex
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -Sex
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
 -My good health.
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

===The most private thing I’m willing to admit here===
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}
==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = okcupid lies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R-4TfwC21vY}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe]]
*[[Match.com]]

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Websites]]

User:Clydespickle

2010-05-11T12:10:49Z

Clydespickle: Created page with 'True and honest photoshoper and vid maker. That is all for now.'

True and honest photoshoper and vid maker.

That is all for now.

User talk:Clydespickle

2010-05-11T12:07:12Z

Clydespickle: /* Hi there! */

F Abstinance

2010-05-11T11:37:16Z

Clydespickle:

{{rainbow|FUCK ABSTINENCE!}}

'''F Abstinance''' [sic] (officially "'''F Abstinance.MOV'''") is a video uploaded on to [[YouTube]] on 28 [[March 2010]]. Chris goes on a tirade about abstinence for no other reason than being an adult [[virgin with rage]]. Similar to his views on the [[friend zone]], he appears to cling viciously to the belief that he is owed sex merely because he exists. This video is also filled with irony, considering his Christian faith, once again proving that Chris knows nothing about [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] - only parroting things he hears and agrees with while ignoring things that give him prickly-wicklies. Chris also tells everyone to not buy any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu books]] that [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] has put on the internet because Chris [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|is not getting paid for any of it.]] While he commands people not to buy any comics he goes on to say that "small things" such as [[Homos|toys]] and backpacks are okay.

Chris later removed this video, most likely at the request of [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

==Description==
{{quotebox|AND Practice Safe Sex with proper Condom or B.C. medication usage. Ask your parents or teachers for more info, or look it up on the internet or library.

Also, the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and the Werehog Costumes in [[LittleBiGPlanet]]; the Headdress needs to be TWO PARTS; EARS for HEAD, and SPIKES for HAIR. And the Spines and Tail need to be TWO PARTS; TAIL for WAIST, and Spines for NECK.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = F Abstinance.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|LDYPVhQ8yeU}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 28 March 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} Sex
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = {{CaptainFalconShirt}} Captain Falcon
| previous = [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
[[Image:Cwc-abstinence.jpg|thumb|What Chris intends to do.]]
[[Image:OBJECTION_by_TOCDrawings.png|thumb|Another dramatization.]]

[''Chris [[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|dramatically removes his glasses]] as the video begins.'']

Just a thought that I'd like to share with everybody:

Abstinence, if you're just learning about it, abstinence is nothing but crap. It is a whole fucking bunch of baloney. If eh- if I had the opportunity, I would- if I was in an assembly, I would stand right up in my chair and I would say "FUCK UP- FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[''Chris thrusts his right index finger in the air for emphasis.'']

Shout it right to the choir. I mean 'cause if you got abstinence, then what- then what do you get? End up being an [[Christian Weston Chandler|adult virgin]], or even worse, a [[Bob Chandler|senior citizen]] virgin and that is like a hell to most anybody. And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, [[Chris and English|promotes]] you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[''Chris punctuates his shout with another fist-pump, then collects himself and puts on his glasses.'']

Updates are to come on the [[CWCipedia]] soon and do not buy any of the quote unquote books anywhere on the Internet because I have not approved of any such books [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|and I'm not getting a dim- and I'm not seeing a penny out of that.]] So if there's anything that I'm not seeing a penny out of, eh- books or DVDs, yeah do not buy. Otherwise would like, you know [[Kimmi|dolls]], [[Sex toys|toys]], backpacks wh- that sort of- that sort of small thing, yeah that's fine, that's okay. I'll approve that.

Anyway, everybody else, have a good day.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Abstinence pickle
| video = {{#ev:youtube|h6DbCMRB9r0}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]|}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

I Pimp My Ride.MOV

2010-05-11T11:31:15Z

Clydespickle:

[[Image:Pokeyman shirt CWC.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's depiction]]
'''I Pimp My Ride.MOV''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 5 [[May 2010]].

Some time earlier, [[CWCki]] prominently featured a page with chillingly detailed information on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|how easy it is to place bugging devices]] within [[PS3]]s. Not to be outdone by damn dirty [[troll]]s who keep stealing Chris's PSN accounts, Chris shows what he has done to curb further trolling: he has removed the [http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html Wi-Fi antenna] from his PS3, thus making covert information transmission over WLAN much harder. (Technology analysts and other evil geeks at the CWCki page, however, remain unfazed by this claim.)

While relentlessly bragging about this technological tour-de-force and mocking his enemies with evil glee, Chris is wearing a never before seen, ill fitting [[Pokemon]] shirt in this video. The shirt reads "[[Books-A-Million]] Trainer", a post which he dubiously held circa [[2000]]; the shirt certainly ''looks'' that old. He proceeds to take out his PS3 keyboard controller (that has wheels taped on to it) and a [[Lego]] car, proclaiming he has "Pimped His Ride".

Chris's [[Son-chu|actual ride]] still remains unpimped at the moment.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I Pimp My Ride.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|rz5xYLpUJxY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 05 May 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Smug|text}}
| Shirt = {{PokemonLeague|text}}
| previous = [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]
| next = [[100 2178‎]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:XzibitNotAmused.jpg|thumb|''Pimp My Ride'' host Xzibit's reaction to this video.]]
Hey yo [[trolls]]! You got nothing going on for ya, 'cause you know what?

[''Chris proudly lifts the Wi-Fi antenna, thinking it is the bug.'']

I removed it. The Wi-Fi antenna! It gone! You ain’t getting on my PS3 anymo! You bunch of dumbasses! And yeah I p-did spend a bit of [[Chris and money|dough]] on my [[Fangs|grill]], but you know what? I'm no b-different from y’all! 'Cuz I like to [[Random-access humor|Pimp Mah Riiiiiiiiidddde!]]

[''Chris lifts his hands, showing a PS3 keyboard controller with taped on wheels in one, and a Lego car in the other.'']

[[Homo|I'm out]], peace!

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Pimp my pickle
| video = {{#ev:youtube|seTJaENHBLE}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

{{-}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]|nextlink=[[100 2178‎]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

100 2178

2010-05-11T10:43:45Z

Clydespickle:

{{Rename}}

'''100 2178.MOV''' is a 8 [[May 2010]] video in which [[Chris]], lonely and lost at the bottom of a depression-well, reflects on the [[FAIL|state]] of his life.

He made this video after coming home alone from an EXTREME ACTION SPORTS show to which he had won four tickets from a radio call-in contest. He could not find anyone else to go with him, even after he called the members of his Church's Young Adult Social Group, so he was forced to scalp the tickets in front of the stadium and then sit alone in the bleachers beside a "lovey-dovey couple" (who probably haven't even got a [[I_Pimp_My_Ride.MOV|pimped out PS3 controller]]) while handsomer, happier, less [[autistic]] men did flips on motorcycles for the roaring crowd. This situation causes Chris to reflect introspectively on his life, or at the very least complain about the latest faults that have occurred since he and [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] broke apart.

For some odd reason, Chris blames the Greene County school board (which tried to pull him out of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] when he was a child) for heading a conspiracy to keep him in his "autistic shell" — first by supposedly trying to institutionalize him, then going so far as to bribe a realtor many years later to keep his [[14 Branchland Court|family's house]] in Ruckersville from selling so that his family would have to move back to a town where he had fewer friends. They then bribed [[Michael Snyder]] (years later again) to ban him from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. (There is no evidence yet linking them to [[Mary Lee Walsh]] or the [[Jerkops]].) Chris also has to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew", but could only call him that first word. He ends the video by wishing that they, Michael Snyder, and the [[trolls]] would all go to hell for playing [[Kick the Autistic]].

Perhaps coincidentally, the video was uploaded sixteen years to the day since [[Bob]]'s case against Greene County was thrown out of court.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2178.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VwCldRr0kDc}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 08 May 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt = {{OrangeSleeveless|text}}
| previous = [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

[''Chris sits in the dark in front of his TV, which is turned off. He is visible only in silhouette. A fan hums in the background.'']

This is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], alias ''[[Christopher]]'' Weston Chandler, pre [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|1990-something]]. Anyway, I-I have sent this message to all the peo- ...ple that were of the [[Greene County]] School Board... and such... during the [[1990s]]... because... Threatening to put me in a mental institution. That was pretty much why we had to run away... and move to Chesterfield County, and I had better life over there, I had a lo- I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just ''sad'' to leave, when I, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life. But we were forced to move back here.

You people of Greene County, you could not have left us, uh, left me and my family alone. You had to go and pay off the realtors, just so, this h- so that this house here could not have been sold. If it, 'cause if it had been sold, we would have been able to stay in Chesterfield County. [''[[sigh]]''] And I would have been ha- I would have had a lot- a happier life over there, than right now and how I'm feeling. If, right now, because we ha- 'cause we were forced to move back here because of you goddamn... people who were afraid of [[autistic]] individuals.

[''[[sigh]]'']

You individuals would know who you are. I wish my family and I did not have to move back here. I wish we could have stayed in Chesterfield County, 'cause I had the better life there. And we were doing we- we were doing well, but you had to drag us down! You had to make us unable to sell our house here. You had to ''force'' my family to move back here, where I was OK and I have a couple of friends, and I'm better off with... [''Voice cracks, shakes arm to gesture at room.''] '''stuff.'''

That stuff is no good if I don't have, if I don't have many friends to share it with. [''Chokes back tears.'']

And it all just went downhill. I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn [[Michael Snyder]] to see f- to see any... so recourse... or... anything like that to make him pretend to have a reason to [[kick]] me out, quote-unquote "''scaaaaring'' his customers away!" You goddamn, greedy... ''Snyder''!

[[Image:Yasg.jpg|thumb|left|The Young Adult Social Group offers Chris a solution.]]

I was at the John Paul Jones Arena earlier tonight, at the Extreme Action Sports. I had won four tickets the previous Friday, Friday of the last week, from 95.1. The few [[Trolls|friends]] I have here could not have come- could not come with me, and I could not even find anyone in the congregation to take- to go with me. 'Cause I misplaced directory for one reason. And even with the help of, uh, my pastoral counselor to get in contact with them, they did not call- none of them called me back!

And I had to sell the... tickets I had, and I had to sit there next to a... lovey-dovey couple. [''His voice begins to crack.''] Which, that was OK, you know, I was trying to be... good- I was trying to be good friend, you know... [''scratches back of head''] Sociable. [''sigh''] But still, if that was... If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, and I would- and I had a similar situation for an event there... I would definitely have had my friends I had there. Moving back here, it just dragged me downhill. So I tell you what, Greene County... Because you saw fit to make- to make me and my family have to move back here, just to make me sad, and move more into my Autistic Shell: ''you did it''.

If I had stayed in Chesterfield County, I would have been a whole lot better off. I wish you would, I wish you would have let us sell our house here. We could have stayed there. I wish you had- I wish we did not have to move back to [''sigh''] I wish we did not have to move back here nearly ten years ago.

[[Image:Wild.png|thumb|Sit and spin.]]

Laugh all you want, trolls! Because... I don't ''give'' a damn. You're all just immature, [[naive]], [[Chris and his Ego|condescending]], [[Patti|soulless]] [[sonichu|''monsters.'']] [[Chris and hypocrisy|You don't ''care'' about others, you only care about yourselves. You only care about getting your own laughs and kicks, because you don't h- you don't have your own social life!]] You [[Death threats|threaten]] me from ha- from trying to seek one of my own, by scaring me on the Internet and whatnot.

Including Clyde Cash, you can all go to hell. And all da people that were on the Greene County School Board during the 1990s then that forced us to have to move back here, '''sit and spin...''' Hell.

And Michael Snyder, I hope you go to Hell, too!

And for everybody el-, as for everybody else... Peace.

===Michael Snyder Replies===
{{quotebox|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk.
Signed,
That goddam Michael Snyder}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Michael Snyder is cold hearted and mean
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ZMc4wFuH1WQ}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV

2010-05-11T10:30:27Z

Clydespickle: /* Fan videos */

{{Honest}}
[[File:Ima42Bust.jpg|thumb|Chris's measurements.]]
'''For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV''' is a video leaked 21 [[April 2010]] for [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] in which [[Chris]] demonstrates how he would pleasure her orally and reveals his [[muscle bra|sports bra]], showing off his creepiness on [[CWC's Message for Ivy|a]] [[For My Sweetest Ivy|level]] [[The Return of Kimmi|not]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|seen]] [[More for the crabs|since]] [[Bunny Hop|the]] [[Ivy|Ivy Saga]].

Chris, wearing a new [[shirt]] bearing a message contradictory to his claims that he is not a [[homo]], begins by apologizing to Jackie for introducing her to the [[CWCki]] (perhaps seeking to avoid another [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]] incident) and trying to explain what he believes happened with Ivy and [[Vanessa Saga|Vanessa Hudgens]]. Chris attempts to sound sincere but, as always, fails miserably. Things only go from bad to worse as Chris demonstrates how he would "pleasure" her [[Chris and sex|orally]]; Chris's voice gets noticeably more excited as he explains this. He even goes so far as to show how he would [[fail|use his tongue as well]]. This, unfortunately, goes on for a good minute. At one point, Chris seems to [[Mumble 8|forget who he's talking to]] and refers to Jackie as Ivy. Chris ends the video by explaining how he has a belly and man-boobs - he seems slightly more willing to admit this fact than he did back in [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]] - and reveals that he wears a [[muscle bra|sports bra]]. To make it even more pathetic: Chris actually fills it in.

Chris, in a surprising move, did not upload the video to [[YouTube]] but instead used MediaFire. He believes this will keep anyone from getting a hold of the video, neglecting the idea that Jackie herself would circulate it.
{{-}}
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|wEKLxgRJnAc}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 21 April 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} Sex
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = {{MountAndDoMe}} Mount and Do Me, {{Cwcbra}} [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]
| Other = {{Leaked}} Leaked
| previous = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
| next = [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Hey, Jackie, it's me Christian. I'm doing this video for you 'cause upload to th- da MediaFire. Hopefully uh, [[trolls]] will not get that to there. I mean, yeah, I have not tried MediaFire before. But, yeah, I do have a friend that recommends it as well, so, for you I'll try it.

[''Removes [[glasses]], rubs the bridge of his nose'']

Well, first half of the video though uh, yeah, let me apologize for uh, yeah, that thing I- for even leading you to the [[CWCki]]. I just wanted to let you know 'bout what happened to me before. I just felt concerned about that, but- and then with that uh, reading what you read on Ivy's page, yeah, I was wrong. I forgot one detail of that- that detail. Yeah, it was uh- supposedly I was talking to uh, this [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was like coming onto me really- really well online and I had- I held in with my self-restraint as best as I could. For a long time. And then she's kinda, talked me into it a little bit.

[''Chris's cell phone rings''] Ignore that. [''Gets up and turns it off, returns to chair''] Eh, that's my cell phone. Hmm. Let me just talk care of that real quick. [''holds up cell phone, apparently silences or turns it off''] Anyway uh, yeah. I did make a video apologizing to Ivy for that, at least, you know, I could man up and admit when I made such a mistake as that. And that was in the past. And I'm sorry- did not mean to- I did not mean to lie to you, I swear. I jus- I just [[lie|forgot that one detail]].

Anyway, as for that, uh, the quote-unquote Vanessa Hudgens actually this- was actually in reality this uh [[Chris and Race#Hispanics|Spanish]] dude I know, [[Joshua Martinez]]. Yeah, just- he was- he was just basi- he was- he was pretending to be Vanessa that whole time and... [''[[sigh]], Chris's face becomes noticeably distraught''] Really ticks me off, that guy. Ehh, nother-nother- that's another story for another day though. Hmm. But anyway with that put aside uh [''perks up a little''] I'm gonna show you- I'm gonna show you some ways on how I can pleasure you [''[[Creepy stare|eyes widen]]''] orally, mmkay?

[''Shifts in chair''] Yeah, I got a few ideas like you know, we definitely [''lifts hand into frame, fidgets''] give you [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some finger play]]. Lots of fingers. But yeah, I would just- yeah. I could be like [''Leans towards the camera, closes eyes, flicks tongue around.''] Ahh, I lick your pretty little clit there. [''Continues to pantomime sex acts''] Tickle your pussy... Oh! And here's the fun part, I put my- I can roll my tongue. I put- I push- I put it in there [''Leans forwards, sticks out tongue''] and extend it while it's in there. Can you imagine that? [''More tongue fail, leans back in chair''] I got other ideas as well, but I just can't think of them right now. But hopefully that's now good enough for starters and to make up for that.

Any- ah, I hhave been under confusion pat- for a little while, but seriously, [[Fail|Ivy]], I really do want you. [''Firmer, failing to realize his Freudian slip''] I want you. And I do love you and I care about you, and I pray that this video does not fall into the hands of the trolls. You let me know once you got it downloaded successfully and that you're able to play it and I'll take it off of the MediaFire.

[''Brow furrows, whisper''] Oh, my gosh. [''normally''] I gotta watch myself. And also uh, another thing to make up for this uh, hmm, I'll reveal another thing about myself. I actually did- I actually uh, do have [[Obesity|a bit of a belly]], but also with that uh [''grabs manboobs''] manboobs. I'm not- I'm not t- I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence that you will not laugh at me, but when I walk they do bounce, so I have to uh [''Strips off "Mount and Do Me" shirt to reveal [[sports bra]]''] so I wear a sports bra. [''Adjusts sports bra''] Works very good, keeps 'em from bouncing. I got- I'm a 42-bust. Alright, well, I hope we can- hopefully we can move on, and resume our relationship with emotions, or otherwise restart it. I love you Jackie. Love you. [''makes kissing motion, then reaches for camera''] Talk to you later. Meet up soon [''video abruptly ends''].

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = YTP- Chris Chan explains how to pleasure a woman, also sports bra
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kJKmcdSSs7U}}
| Maker = BigJuicyx3
| Stardate = 23 April 2010
| Video Type = VG Remix
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = what the chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hwoHCXD1e1g}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/mrallex mrallex]
| Stardate = 10 May 2010
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC for Jackie's pickle only
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7iqDmrTe4ko}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/clydespickle clydespickle]
| Stardate = 11 May 2010
}}

==See also==
*[[Jackie e-mails]]
*[[Jackie e-mails Part 2]]
*[[Jackie e-mails Part 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]|nextlink=[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:I Pimp My Ride.MOV

2010-05-11T10:19:46Z

Clydespickle: /* Art request */

Tried to transcribe dis bitch, I have no idea what he says before he say pimp my ride. Feel free to improve on it. Why I'm doing this and not sleeping is quite the mystery. --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 07:02, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

You did a better job then I did I half the time couldn't understand him [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

* He's saying "I did spend a bit of dough on my grill" but stutters before that. Dough means money and grill usually refers to shiny gold tooth caps that the rappers wear, or one's face ("he was all up in my grill"), and not one's gaming console. Also "ride" never refers to a game controller, or a Lego car, no matter what you do to it. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 07:23, 5 May 2010 (UTC), white guy
** You see Mr Anaconda, you are using logic, not Chris-chan logic.
*** You got it right Anonymous. If Chris heard someone looking Badass say it, he will use it as his new magical mantra. That's how this pimp rolls. (Yes, I am white as snow). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:02, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

==Well==

I couldn't help but fucking lol. Chris semi-permanently damaged his most prized posession. It's like if the trolls convinced him to destroy the [[Blanca|medallion]] or got him to give up the monthly tugboat. Too bad Chris appears to use a cable to access the intertubes or this would have been perfect. I am pleased. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:50, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

*Also, LOOK AT THOSE TITS GODDAMN. They're actually bigger than some girls I know. Additionally: LOOK AT THAT BALD GODDAMN. And his accent, and how smug he is that he "beat" the trolls, and, and, and just everything. Just fucking everything. This is definitely one of the funniest videos in a while. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:50, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

:*Fucking Lol. Taking all bets on how long it takes him to figure out he no longer has internet.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:59, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Well, he was able to upload this video, so like I said before he probably has a cable for his PS3. Not that it's at all possible to tell in the landfill he calls his room. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 09:00, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think he's using his digital camera. The PSEye, it would seem, has finally been laid to rest. This being the Case he probably won't notice until he tries to buy more useless shit on PSN, and discovers that he can't sign on. That will be the most delicious moment of all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 09:03, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::::*The PSeye can be seen in the background, still mounted on his TV. However, it could be broken, and he might just be holding onto it because he's a packrat. --[[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 09:23, 5 May 2010
:::::*Chris did say that his parents are packrats (ie. hoarders), so it's logical that Chris would hold onto something even after it's no longer able to function. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:12, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

:For some reason i feel this video falls under chris and race. Maybe is him trying to sound "Gangsta", but either way its still creepy.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:18, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

Man, Chris-chan is a stupid little bitch. Let's go for something more than his fucking PS3.
If he wants to be a little ignorant dumbass and go "PIMP MY RIDE! PIMP MY RIDE"

- Captainult

Jesus fucking christ. Chris' videos always make me want to facepalm, but a mixture of cringing and bile fascination keeps me watching them the whole way through. In the end, I'm left with my mouth agape, and only a minute or two after watching the video do I start to react. Fucking hell, legos on a video game controller as an assertion of his victory. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 15:51, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

== How come the first thing I noticed ==

...was that he's wearing a decade old t-shirt from high school? --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 10:42, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

*The first thing I noticed was his massive, enormous tits.--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 11:05, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
**Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 14:47, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:* Do we have a vintage photo of him in the T-Shirt? It would do a great Before/After shot for the Obesity page. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:02, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::* Shit, that rack. --18:55, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:::* I remember back on /cwc/ where we had a discussion about Chris's weight and most people agreed that Chris couldn't get any fatter because his high metabolism prevents his body from gaining any more weight. This latest video has proven us all wrong. He has certainly gotten fatter since the last video, and his enormous manboobs are proof of that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:23, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::::* Considering 1) he's nearing 30 and his metabolism should be bottoming out soon and 2) he can't "parkay" for more than 5 minutes without having a fucking heart attack, we can only expect him to get fatter and fatter. --[[User:DonB|DonB]] 19:20, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

==Performance style==
this video isn't really "crazy" i think we need a new one called "smug" or something.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 14:43, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:I've never seen a sane person use Legos to indicate that he's pimped his ride. That seems pretty crazy to me.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:53, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:: To me it's not crazy, it's just very very stupid, and the video is more about him thinking he outsmarted the trolls, and in comparison to other videos this isn't really insane.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 15:47, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::: You could call it Comeuppence? It'd look like this >:). It could also be applied to other acts of smugness like when he got his copyright certificate or the rollin' & trollin' video. I have no idea how to make one or implement it however. Oh god how did this get in here I am not good with computers [[User:Menth|Menth]] 20:41, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
::::Comeuppence sounds just fine, I'd like to see how it <s>cums</s> comes out.--[[User:Kei|Kei]] 23:14, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::I envision the name to be more like "Victorious" and the face to be more like ^_^ --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:26, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Comeuppence is a CWCism though. Who's making it? I really have no idea how to do it otherwise I would. [[User:Menth|Menth]] 08:58, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Yeah only it's a CWCism for semen, and I don't think Chris is cumming in these videos. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 09:44, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
: @Anonymax, he's clearly coming over these videos if not necessarily in them. I demand a new comeuppance category; the Liberal Democrats lost and I need cheering up. [[User:Menth|Menth]] 10:41, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
:Maybe this could fall under reason, though comeuppance would be a good category name.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:31, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

Made it & applied it to a few videos. Fuck knows how, I have a masters in theatre which strictly makes me a retard at anything useful. Opinions? {{Comeuppance.png|text}} [[User:Menth|Menth]] 07:10, 8 May 2010 (UTC)
:Most excellent, good sir. This category is essential to get the big picture of his video antics. [[User:Shinji|Shinji]] 01:56, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
::Template needs to be renamed, and I think the icon needs to be altered slightly to match the others. Other than that it's OK --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:13, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Art request==
Art request for this article; find an image of a busty chick and overlay it over Chris to show how big his tits are. Fuck. Chris is... Uhgh. He somehow seems to have lost weight in this video, but his tits are just massive. I guess that's why they call him Collosal Chris-Chan... -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 16:22, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
*Collosal Tits-Chan, even. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 19:56, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I like you, good sir. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:37, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
*Done! (hope this works)[[File:Compare.jpg|right|300px|Chris's tits are actually bigger than the woman's. Let that sink in for a minute.]][[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:58, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
::Holy shit, his breasts are bigger than most girls I know. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 03:04, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
:::And his are natural and the woman's look fake, so yeah...[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:20, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Quick photoshop job: [[File:ChrisTits.jpg]] [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 04:06, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
**Wow thats disturbing.though chris without a doubt would fap furiously to it.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:41, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Is this photoshop any use? [[File:chandlers_manboobs.jpg]]--[[User:Clydespickle|ClYdEsPiCkLe]] 10:19, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

==Money==
Did someone lose some today?--[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 21:43, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

==Cable or WiFi?==

Does Chris actually use the wifi, or does he connect his PS3 with a cable? He seemed to know what the part he removed did, which leads me to favour the former. It's still hilarious. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:37, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
:A quick view of the [[Chris humps his PS3|PS3stiality video]] seems to show a cable plugged in to the back of the console. It looks like an ethernet cable, but someone who actually owns a PSTriple might be more qualified to know if the position of the ethernet socket on the console matches the cable we see on the video. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:47, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
* Given the fact that he knowingly states that he removed the wi-fi, I would venture a guess that he does indeed use a cable. Without being able to connect to his PSN, he can't impulse buy any more needless crap for his PS3. The real test will be weather he can remove the entire bug in his system ;) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 19:57, 5 May 2010 (EST)
:Well I assumed that he uses a cable now, I was more trying to prove that he has always used a cable rather than just converting to using it now he has removed the Wi-Fi adapter. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:01, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

File:Chandlers manboobs.jpg

2010-05-11T10:10:09Z

Clydespickle: Photoshop of: http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j89/realfatandy/uhhuh17.jpg and CWConbed.JPG Showing Chris with his large manboobs

Photoshop of: http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j89/realfatandy/uhhuh17.jpg
and CWConbed.JPG

Showing Chris with his large manboobs