CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:CWC's Slideshow

2010-12-29T18:14:58Z

Collthecops:

what the hell is this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:16, 21 February 2010 (UTC)
:A monster that I might just help out with, but not before more important tasks like Mumble are finished. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:41, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:Don't know if this page has fallen from grace or not, but I can do the transcription and all that if it's rotting. My only question is what to do about the slideshow in the background. With 599 pictures (GODDAMN) in the slideshow alone it's going to be a little impractical to note every single image in text. --[[User:Collthecops|Collthecops]] 10:14, 29 December 2010 (PST)

Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora

2010-12-26T02:19:32Z

Collthecops: Anal transcribing edits!

'''Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora''' is a 23 [[March 2009]] video in which [[Chris]] explains that it is healthy to fart and sings the Fart Song from ''[[Family Guy]]'' for [[Ivy]]'s friend [[Flora]], who has a fear of farting.

==Watch==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora
| image = {{#ev:youtube|KmKrHyyenjU}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 March 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] [[Music]]
| Saga = [[Image:Ivy_saga.png]] [[Ivy]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Dangerstripeshirt.PNG]] DangerStripe
| previous = [[Chris Sings Lovin' You#Watch|Chris Sings Lovin' You]]
| next = [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!#Video|Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

Hello. I'm making this video to Ivy's friend Flora, who uhh... has some concerns of her own about uhh... natural bodily function... that hopefully after this video she'll feel better about it. But uhh... there are... dangers about holding in farts... but, it's better and... and it's better to let them, it's better to let farts OUT, and it's not very comft... and it's not... dangerous at all to let farts out. If anything, holding farts in err... there's a chance of uhh... getting hemorrhoids, or uhh... some ki- or possibly doubles the risk of colon cancer. Err there's rumors that's going around on the Internet.

But anyway uhh... [''reads from notes''] but yeah, basically farts are uhh gas in our intestines that comes out from several sources. You know, the air you swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas produced by chemical reactions in our gut, and gas produced by bacteria living in our gut. Hm. And I get these facts I have printed here from uhh... [http://www.heptune.com/farts.html heptune.com], H-E-P-T-U-N...E. Forgot the E. [''in strange voice''] Remember the E. Anyway uhh... On average a person produces about half a liter of fart-gas per day, which amounts to fourteen daily farts. So it's no problem to let your farts out! Whereas may be difficult to... [''mumbles to self, cutting off the rest of the line he was reading''] Okay. Yeah, well... But you know uhh... a good reason why the fart, why our farts come out come out our uhh... butt... because that's where our HOLE is, down there, for the farts to come out of. And if you don't let the farts out it's like uhh... holding in... it's like uhh... zit. If you... if pressure isn't relieved from the zit then uhh... it just might not heal. Or it'll, uh, just get bigger and bigger and bigger. So... yeah. Mm.

Besides which, you know, farting is a sign that uhh... you are alive. I mean, second most, second most important sign to let you know- to remind you that you're alive aside from breathing. You breathe you're alive, you fart you're alive. All animals fart. Hmm.

Then also, uhh... you know the uhh... it's also a possible question of men farting more than women. Well, that's not true. They, women, fart just as much. It's just that uhh... apparently men take more pride in it than most women... MOST men take pride in it... yeah. [''Reads from paper and chuckles''] Ah, here's a fun quote. Listen to this: "I have read that men fart more often than women. If that's true then women must be saving up and expelling more gas per fart than men do." Hmm.

But anyway uhh harmful to hold in farts: there are differences in opinion on that issue. Certainly people have believed for several centuries that uhh retaining the fart is bad for the health. Again, heptune.com. I wanna make sure I quote them:

<blockquote>Even Emperor Claydius [Claudius] passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief a person could be poisoned or catch disease by retaining farts, but doctors clarified that there is no particular harm. Uhh. It will not poison you. They are natural component in your intestinal contents. Worst thing that can happen is mild stomachache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distensation [distention] of the bowel could result... if a person holds it in too much. And even the effort involved in retaining the fart can cause hemorrhoids.</blockquote>

And there's uhh rumors going around about it possibly doubling the chances of colon cancer. Hmm.

But uhh, anyway, Flora, it's okay to fart once in a while. If you prefer to keep it private that's fine. You uhh... take it to the bathroom. And err if people remembered, there was a song written about the joys of farting. [''Smiles and bobs head''] On an episode of ''Family Guy''.

[''Starts singing out of key while stroking [[Guitar Hero]] controller'']

I like fancy learning books... I like apple tarts... I like cosy, breakfast nooks... I like modern arts... And I like farts! Yes, I like farts! I like to fart your, fart your, fart your farts! Yeah, I like farts! If you got heart, [''puts on an impression of what in his mind Ivy's friend talks like''] "Oh, I've got heart"! [''mumbles something that's hard to make out which doesn't seem to match the lyrics of the actual song''] "Where do I start?" Well Flora, I will help you get your, Flora started. [''Chris starts to make several disgusting fart sounds with his mouth while continuing to strum his guitar hero controller'']

It's OK to fart.

[''Video cuts off and comes back like Chris had forgot something''] Have a good day, Flora.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]|nextlink=[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-29]]
[[Category: Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-29]]

SpaghettiRoutine

2010-11-26T02:49:56Z

Collthecops:

'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris mimes the preparation of spaghetti. He had planned to actually cook some spaghetti in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]], but [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove. Chris then presents the finished dish served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he makes a reference to an orange-faced [[Clyde Cash|Cashy type person]] he knows.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SpaghettiRoutine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HcKUD2Z30YI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Home Cooking}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ShowerClean2]]
| next = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Chefboyardee.jpg|thumb|right|Thank goodness for Chris's [[TRUE and HONEST]] Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)]]
For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it. [''Mimes picking up a pot.''] Here's the pot. [''Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.''] Put it on the stove. [''Mimes turning on the stove.''] Set it to the boiling temperature. [''Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.''] Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...[''Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.''] And...[''Hissing noises, wild gestures.''] Click click click click click click! [''Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.''] Noodles, smell so good! [''Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.''] Mm, hey look at that. Drippy, no stiffy! [''Holds them close to the camera.''] I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while. [''More hissing, more stirring.''] Yeah, I say our noodles are done. [''More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.''] Hey, we pour—we drain the water out. [''Does so, and sets “pot” down.''] We get some plate-we get some plates. [''Mimes getting plates down.''] Oh wait a minute...we're serving two! [''In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.''] Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'. [''More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.''] Fork. [''Mimes scraping pot.''] We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later!

In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce. [''Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.''] There we go, I popped the seal! [''Pours it.''] Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella! [''Sings while caressing the mozzarella.''] I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...[''Shakes it over the food.''] And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever. [''More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”'']

And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|they end up not so good]], not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already. [''Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”''] And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this! [''Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in an out on it.''] Yummy, yummy, delicious!

[''Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.''] So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious. [''Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.''] Mmm...it smells so good! [''Holds a forkful up to the camera.''] You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'? [''Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. Holds out his arms and smiles like he did something worth praising.''] Ta-da! [''Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.''] I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, at least my head's not fuckin' orange. Like a certain...[''Wipes nose some more'']...Cashey type person I know. [''Turns camera off.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ShowerClean2]]|nextlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User:Collthecops

2010-11-26T02:48:02Z

Collthecops:

What?

WHAT?!

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

Talk:SpaghettiRoutine

2010-11-26T02:42:20Z

Collthecops:

I'll take a shot at transcribing this. [[User:Got2Hands|Got2Hands]] 09:50, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:Done. Anyone wants to improve it, be my guest -- it's fairly rushed. [[User:Got2Hands|Got2Hands]] 10:35, 30 October 2010 (PDT)
:I uploaded the emeril lagasse pic, should we point out that the real spaghetti is clearly canned and chris fails at an italian accent(i think that's wghat he was trying)--[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 09:20, 5 November 2010 (PDT)
:Added and 'corrected' a few words in the transcription. I use the term pretty loosely, since Chris babbles nonsense half of the time anyway. -- [[User:Collthecops|Collthecops]] 18:42, 25 November 2010 (PST)

User:Collthecops

2010-11-26T02:38:02Z

Collthecops: Created page with "What? WHAT?!"

What?

WHAT?!

SpaghettiRoutine

2010-11-26T02:28:21Z

Collthecops: Minor correction of transcript.

'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris mimes the preparation of spaghetti. He had planned to actually cook some spaghetti in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]], but [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove. Chris then presents the finished dish served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he makes a reference to an orange-faced [[Clyde Cash|Cashy type person]] he knows.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SpaghettiRoutine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HcKUD2Z30YI}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Home Cooking}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ShowerClean2]]
| next = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Chefboyardee.jpg|thumb|right|Thank goodness for Chris's [[TRUE and HONEST]] Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)]]
For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it. [''Mimes picking up a pot.''] Here's the pot. [''Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.''] Put it on the stove. [''Mimes turning on the stove.''] Set it to the boiling temperature. ''Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.'' Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...[''Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.''] And...[''Hissing noises, wild gestures.''] Click click click click click click! [''Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.''] Noodles, smell so good! [''Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.''] Mm, hey look at that. Drippy, no stiffy! [''Holds them close to the camera.''] I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while. [''More hissing, more stirring.''] Yeah, I say our noodles are done. [''More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.''] Hey, we pour—we drain the water out. [''Does so, and sets “pot” down.''] We get some plate-we get some plates. [''Mimes getting plates down.''] Oh wait a minute...we're serving two! [''In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.''] Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'. [''More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.''] Fork. [''Mimes scraping pot.''] We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later!

In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce. [''Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.''] There we go, I popped the seal! [''Pours it.''] Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella! [''Sings while caressing the mozzarella.''] I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...[''Shakes it over the food.''] And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever. [''More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”'']

And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|they end up not so good]], not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already. [''Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”''] And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this! [''Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in an out on it.''] Yummy, yummy, delicious!

[''Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.''] So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious. [''Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.''] Mmm...it smells so good! [''Holds a forkful up to the camera.''] You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'? [''Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. Holds out his arms and smiles like he did something worth praising.''] Ta-da! [''Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.''] I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, at least my head's not fuckin' orange. Like a certain...[''Wipes nose some more'']...Cashey type person I know. [''Turns camera off.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ShowerClean2]]|nextlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]