CWCki - User contributions [en]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-02-18T22:33:04Z

Colonelslime:

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is a troll term for Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]].

[[Stress]] (surprise, surprise!) plays a large role in Chris's incontinence problems, as he has trouble controlling himself when under the hammer.

Chris is often expecting a fart when he suddenly realizes that the briefs that were so clean a moment ago are now DIRTY and CRAPPED.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref>

He justifies his fecal incontinence by claiming that it is perfectly normal and quite common for adults to soil themselves on a regular basis. There are only two causes for a relatively healthy adult to shit themselves: 1.) As a symptom of gastrointestinal distress. 2.) In a fit of vomiting, muscles throughout the body loosen with each successive heave to assist in expelling the stomach's contents. With all the body's energy being used for heaving, the anus is unable to stay tight and closed. This is more likely if diarrhea is present.

In [[2009#March|March 2009]], [[Ivy]] alleged that Chris's claims of dirty, crapped briefs are not, as some argued, merely skid-marks in his undergarments (presumably to assert he wears briefs enough to have skid-marks in them), but rather he has problems controlling his sphincter and apparently is open about the fact, presumably to gain pity.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> It was also alleged that Chris's doctor has been trying to get him to wear [[Butt garments|pads]], and that [[Barb]] is tired of having to wash his crapped underwear.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

It is likely that his brief-crappings are chronic, as in the chat of 4 March 2009 with [[Julie]], Julie's brother [[Max]] asks Chris if he's crapped his briefs and he yells "MAYBE!", but then admits that he has indeed crapped his pants with a "...Yes."

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and says that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a girl who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he often doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved him recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats that they've had and that they might have a psychic link.

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he craps himself, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

=== Transcript ===
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-02-18T22:32:05Z

Colonelslime:

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is a troll term for Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]].

[[Stress]] (surprise, surprise!) plays a large role in Chris's incontinence problems, as he has trouble controlling himself when under the hammer.

Chris is often expecting a fart when he suddenly realizes that the briefs that were so clean a moment ago are now DIRTY and CRAPPED.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref>

He justifies his fecal incontinence by claiming that it is perfectly normal and quite common for adults to soil themselves on a regular basis. There are only two causes for a relatively healthy adult to shit themselves: 1.) As a symptom of gastrointestinal distress. 2.) In a fit of vomiting, muscles throughout the body loosen with each successive heave to assist in expelling the stomach's contents. With all the body's energy being used for heaving, the anus is unable to stay tight and closed. This is more likely if diarrhea is present.

In [[2009#March|March 2009]], [[Ivy]] alleged that Chris's claims of dirty, crapped briefs are not, as some argued, merely skid-marks in his undergarments (presumably to assert he wears briefs enough to have skid-marks in them), but rather he has problems controlling his sphincter and apparently is open about the fact, presumably to gain pity.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A)]]</ref> It was also alleged that Chris's doctor has been trying to get him to wear [[Butt garments|pads]], and that [[Barb]] is tired of having to wash his crapped underwear.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

It is likely that his brief-crappings are chronic, as in the chat of 4 March 2009 with [[Julie]], Julie's brother [[Max]] asks Chris if he's crapped his briefs and he yells "MAYBE!", but then admits that he has indeed crapped his pants with a "...Yes."

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and says that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a girl who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he often doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved him recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats that they've had and that they might have a psychic link.

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he craps himself, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

=== Transcript ===
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Ivy Q&A|Ivy Q&A|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T06:27:04Z

Colonelslime:

'''A Public Announcement for Congress''' is a video Chris uploaded to YouTube early on 19 October 2010. The "for Congress" part apparently represents some confusion or misconception, because the video actually consists of a stump speech directed at the American people, outlining the policies Chris would advance if he were president.

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]] and the homeless, while also proposing that taxes be slashed to a tiny fraction of their current rates. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns should go to the [[jerkops|police]], and that [[Homos|gay people]] would be accepted in his [[CWCVille|Utopian society]], so long as he didn't have to notice that they exist.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ghfoOqS2mM8}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt =
| previous = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
| next = Current
}}

[[Image:Dope1.jpg|thumb|]]
==Transcript==
Good evening, friends. As your presidential candidate, I will now state how I feel, what we can do to improve this, these nations, these states. For one thing, we got so many poor people out on the streets. I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have soup beds. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS! So that there would be a bed for every homeless person until they can get back up on their own feet. Also, lower taxes. I will propose lower taxes, and we shall not have to pay so much. Five percent is okay, but why not two point five percent? And we will not cut off any benefits for the old people. They are good. And we shall give them plenty of money so they can afford the medications and services to keep them alive, because we do not pay for when we are sick, we pay for our good health! And we only pay after we're healthy. We're in good health. We pay to stay alive, we do not pay to die.

And, speaking of which, too much violence goes on within these city streets. I will propose only gun distribution to the official authority, which shall be the post-, which shall be within the police departments. Nowhere else. And all guns owned by locals, community people, shall be taken away. At least the bullets. When the bullets are necessary, or when there is an outbreak of violence from another nation or planet, then we shall issue the bullets. At all-, at free stations, to be opened immediately. Otherwise we'll send in our special troops. Our special force.

And also, we will be okay to have the gays within our community. In all states! There will be gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations. I mean, keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody, 'cause mup- the- mag- [[Family Guy|what may be right for you, may not be right for most. For some. You take the good from the bad and then you get an opening statement like mine.]]

People need to appreciate life, so we will not have to face death. I lost my train of thought there, but that's okay. I am only human! We are all human! I am a noble, honest person. No matter what e'erbody else may say, even on the Internet, and my opponent, Señor Cachez de Clyyyyde. He tells liiies about me! And so do the trolls that have be-trolled me over the Internet. Their jeers, and non-cheers, do not go appreciated. Because it is not everybody who can take a joke. Even when it's at their own expense.

And with that, I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters around these United States. Any repor-, any troll activity that you may be suspicious of an individual, you report to your local authority! And they will tell, and then they will inform the local FBI station within that state. And then they will investigate thoroughly! Over the wireless that is called the Internet! And they will trace the e-mails back to the origin home address or location. And they will be apprehended and fined or sentenced, depending on how CRUEL they are to the victim.

I stand strong, I stand firm, I AM A NOBLE LEADER! And if I am elected, I will do my best to keep our America strong and sound, and not go down the drain. I'm sorry, Obama, I did vote for you, but I gotta agree with my father, you are bringing us, somuss- some of the situations downhill. But I have nothing against you because I did vote for you. And I liked your documentary on A&E. I would shake your hand at the first opportunity I would to meet you, Mr. President.

And thou- er- fore, I shall conclude my opening statement. In the candisacy of the president, I say, I will do my best! And I am not lazy! Thank you.

This ad is not real. I'm not being, going to be elected president, but I tell the truth nonetheless of what I would do if I were to become president. Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress|Current]]}}

Talk:A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T06:22:34Z

Colonelslime:

I'll have a go at transcribing this nonsense... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:09, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

That "You take the Good, you take the bad" crap is from Family Guy. I'm linking it to the Family Guy page. --[[User:Colonelslime|Colonelslime]] 23:22, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T06:22:20Z

Colonelslime:

100 2281

2010-10-16T05:35:47Z

Colonelslime:

'''100 2281''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 15 [[October 2010]]. In it, he shows us how he acts drunk, guzzling down [[alcohol]] with great abandon and dressing up and speaking like a [[niggo|"gangsta"]]. Though, the way he speaks sounds more like Cleveland Brown of ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and ''[[Family Guy]]'' fame.

During the video, Chris looks like he is about to cry while he's telling off Lars.

Note also that this video takes place in Chris's kitchen, and visible in the background is the Christmas Tree seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House]] in early 2009.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2281
| video = {{#ev:youtube|taoCoVHpYXw}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]
| next = Current
}}

== Transcription ==

[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a [[Adam Stackhouse|colorful bandana]] wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a [[niggo]], and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']

Hey, yo, Lars m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the [[trolls]] been using. You calling me a god-dang [[homos|yomosettsual]], I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the [[china|pussy]].

[''He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.'']

And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [''He waves the bottle towards the camera.''] You drivin'! You jivin'!

I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[''brief pause'']...go put your boats over [[Jackie]] like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [''Gives two thumbs down.''] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, dawg.

[''Chris pauses again.'']

You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!

[''He reaches up and turns off the camera.'']

===Translation===

Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this "Akasaka coffee" you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to "Akachaka milk", well that's just false. I'd have to rate your attempts of seducing Jackie with boats two thumbs down. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]|nextlink=[[100 2281|Current]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:100 2281

2010-10-15T17:44:21Z

Colonelslime:

{{Not A Forum}}

Is it worth mentioning that this video happens in the kitchen, and that that is clearly the Christmas Tree seen in the Tour of Chris's House?
--[[User:Colonelslime|Colonelslime]] 10:44, 15 October 2010 (PDT)

i don't want to live on the same planet as this manchild. 
--[[User:Ano de freshman|Ano de freshman]] 22:34, 14 October 2010 (PDT)

Is anyone transcribing this yet? Also I think this may be the first time he recorded a video (other than the tour) in his kitchen? I'm thinking this is the kitchen anyway.. --[[User:MissRadioactive|MissRadioactive]] 23:06, 14 October 2010 (PDT)
:Sure, I'll transcribe this one... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:23, 14 October 2010 (PDT)
:He has made other videos in his kitchen ([[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|this]] and [[100 2189|this]] come to mind, I'm sure there's others too.) Mostly you can tell because of the horde of crap in the bathroom --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 05:57, 15 October 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

Hypocracy in regards to niggos or am I wrong? --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 01:15, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
:This is one of several recent attempts to sound [[Niggos|urban]] that he has made. I think linking to something about Chris and stereotypes would be more appropriate.--[[User:Svek|Švek]] 09:08, 15 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-07-16T17:55:48Z

Colonelslime: /* That picture of Bob and Chris */

==To do==
*<strike>Picture of Bob</strike>
**Bob looks like fucking Jigsaw. Scary. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:34, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's relationship with Bob, in Chris's own words
*add some background to Bob's history. He goes on about himself in the date audio, and he's a pretty interesting guy, like he saw the first plastic Coke bottles shipped off from the assembly line, and he was in the Signal Corps and all sorts of other interesting stuff. We need some of that in here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:06, 26 March 2009 (CET)

(Quick question - whats the date audio? Thanks!)
*...the audio of Chris's date with [[Emily]]. As seen available on the [[The Miscreants]] website. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:31, 17 April 2009 (CEST)

Should I mention he just got sent to the hospital in the health section with congestive heart failure? [[Shawths|Shawths]]

==Great job!==

Seriously, this article is terrific now. I'm surprised how far it's come. Good work to all those involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:11, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

: Still need more on video games and raising Chris. The section on Chris should be the biggest in this article. Will wait for others to finish transcribing because I can't make out Bob's quiet voice in church & Emily. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:24, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

== Bob's birthday ==

Why did everyone think it was Feb. 9th instead of Sept. 4? Does Chris not know when his father's birthday is? [[User:Sauerkraut131|Sauerkraut131]] 04:41, 27 June 2009 (CEST)
*No, it's just hard to tell from the Family Tree poster since it's in microscopic print. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:27, 27 June 2009 (CEST)

==Radio Station Gig==
According to some of the recordings via Yahoo Messenger, didn't Bob worked at a radio station at one time? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 21:01, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==i suck==

Hi, first time editor, long time lurker. I called CWC's house today, hoping to talk to him, but I got Bob instead. Those other people exaggerated about Bob's bravado in their callfail video, Bob isn't much of an opponent if you don't let him get a word in, he just seems to stammer a lot. Of note, he recognized my Texas area code (432) and said he was from Texas, and that he knew some KKK people who he said he would send over to my house if I didn't stop calling. Unfortunately it's lost to time because I can't record from my cellphone and maintain a decent quality. I called him in the morning, when he woke up I honestly thought it was Chris. Anyways, I suck at this shit, I'm gonna just lurk and wtach from now on. I don't have what it takes to be a troll. Thanks for the interesting page, and sorry I don't have any audio to give you guys. [[User:ColossalFail|ColossalFail]] 19:35, 28 November 2009 (CET)

==Hey... ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k]

My friend sent me this video earlier today. It has to do with someone prank calling Bob to get more info out of him involving his current life. Is there anything in it we could possibly use for this article? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 16:41, 20 February 2010 (EST)

*Is stuff like this now subject to the new CWCki privacy laws? Or are we good with all that?-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:54, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Congestive heart failure==

<center>{{Not_A_Forum}}</center>

Damn. We all knew this was coming eventually, but still.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

: We haven't confirmed it was actually Chris yet--I'm personally at 60-40 Chris, the writing style seems off(the Random Capitalization is unusual) but his posting pattern makes sense. Chris only seems to use Twitter when the CWCipedia has dicks on it and I doubt that he's checked recently.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*The Twitter is his, he's written in the [[CWC Blog]] about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** I don't see it on the CWCipedia updates.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:***It would explain his lack of presence for the last few days.
: Huh, I don't see that tweet on [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu his Twitter account]. Did he delete it, or am I just missing it somehow? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* No, it's there. It starts with "Captain's Log Stardate March 1st"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:13, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** Oh, now I see it. Thanks! *[[slow-in-the-mind]]* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 17:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
I don't want to live in a Cwcville without Bob. If he dies, I'll kill myself.
''

I'm going to kill myself if Bob Chandler dies
I'm going to kill myself if he makes me cry
I'll slit my wrists or I'll cut my throat
but I'll kill myself, I'll kill myself, by bleeding on his doorstep.''

[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:50, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

:My grandma died due to congestive heart failure. It isn't a pretty sight. -PeaceCeapPea

:I just heard the news. Dammit, Bob is awesome, I'm praying he doesn't kick it! PLEASE DON'T DIE, BOB! :'( [[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:57, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Just to be clear, CHF doesn't necessarily mean heart attack/failure/imminent death. What it means is that the heart is weakened and is having trouble pumping enough blood to the rest of the body. A lot of overweight and older people develop CHF and don't kick off immediately because of it, and it is treatable. So Bob may live to chop down more internets yet. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 07:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

He spent 2 tweets discussing how his dad has a serious health issue, then six talking about himself and Sonichu. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I know, right? What the fuck? That's pretty low. I know Chris has [[Mumble 1|implied]] that he doesn't love Bob, but I'd expect more than that. People always joke about Bob dying, but I wouldn't like that at all. He is the only sliver of awesome left in Chris's life. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*The thing is, people think that without Bob, we'd get more interesting results from Chris. Bob kept Chris from going to Redmond. Bob is more or less the reason why Chris won't travel anywhere for a troll. Anyways, I think the concern is that Bob has a long history of heart problems already and given his age, he's taken quite a beating and it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that this might do him in. Not that I pray for the death of Bob, mind you, only that this is the rationale of people focusing on Bob's death and why people aren't exactly optimistic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I wouldn't expected anything else from him. What about "I am putting ''Sonichu'' on hold because my father is at the hospital"? That wouldn't have been a novelty. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all do something nice for Lumberjack. Make his life a little easier. We should call in and wish him good health. How much better will he feel knowing that he is more loved than his internet famous son? He'd perk up right away. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* He appreciated [[4 September 2009|Vivian's card]], that's probably a good idea. A picnic hamper perhaps? Some kind of gift package with food and/or nice shit. Chris won't go to that trouble; someone should.- [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:33, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*If someone sets up a paypal, I'd chip in 10 bucks. He's the internet lumberjack, after all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:34, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I agree, that would be cool. [[User:Lynxr|–Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.–]] 19:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I plan on sending flowers by myself in the next few days. Some kind of "Get Well" bouquet. The man deserves it. He went through a lot and, even if he could had done better with Chris, he deserves a break. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*I've started a /cwc/ thread on this here: http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/24043.html - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 18:54, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I really hope Bob pulls through for Chris's sake. I really hate Chris but I know what it's like to lose one's father, and that's not something I'd wish upon anybody else. --[[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 16:44, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, seriously. I hope Bob gets well soon.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 19:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
** Same here. Out of the Chandlers, Bob is easily the most likeable.....which isn't exactly that difficult seeing the rest of the Chandlers, but still.. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 19:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, all the colossal dicks are gone from the Cwcipedia. A mark of respect? --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Sadly, it looks like it. Chris do not deserve any respect. CWCipedia should be a ground for Cock-Parades 24/7/365 [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**Dude, his dad could be fucking ''dying''. I think it's a nice gesture - that's why I mentioned it.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 22:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***I never saw Chris acting with compassion towards someone before, I don't see why we should indulge in Moral-Faggotery because of Bob's issues. As much as I respect the Old Man, He's not the jerk we all love to hate. This is why I strongly believe that the ads must be put back in place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:25, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Chris's 'stress' probably gets passed onto Bob. When Bob is in stable condition, there's no way Chris will be able to put his needs ahead of his own. He'll be getting all cunty about the trolling that he's receiving and not helping Bob's situaition at all. I say lay off and go with [[User:Edward|Edward's]] idea. Well wishes and get well soon ads for Bob. So what if Chris gets smug. Smug Chris is positive happy Chris, it's the closest he gets to that emotion. We can put up with that while his dad's in hospital, right? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Seconded. /Scruffy --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Chris wouldn't give a fuck if his father died. He hates him. If he hasn't empaphized with anyone else, then why the father he hates so much? He'll fake sadness, pretend he cares, but he'll still consider fucking Patti the worst loss of his life. And going easy on Chris is no help for Bob, that just means that in possibly his last days with his father he'll be all smug about his victory over the gay ads. If anything they should put up a get well message for Bob using the adspace. I'm going to mention that to the Asperpedia crew next time i'm over there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:42, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***Agreed. Look at the Quote of the Now. He mentions that his dad is in the hospital and would be there for a few days, but he had a LOOOONG stressful day. He wants us to feel sorry for him for the day, not his dad. It would be the greatest wake up call when he does pass away.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:23, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****Chris being selfish? that's old news. If bob dies, it's ovbiously he would become chris's new excuse " i can't do << insert anything>> because my dad died" for a while, he'll forget about him and continue to be the jerk we know. Id bob dies he will be free from the torments of chris, bob has been trough too many shit thanks to Chris, bob deserves to finally rest in peace. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****Actually, what would happen if Bob died? Presumably the family, not just Bob are living off his pension and social security. Even if they own the house completely, however much Barbra is bringing in plus $450 from Chris' board may not be enough to pay all their costs (bills, food, etc). --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:15, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
****** I wouldn't doubt that the accumulative total of both Chris' and Bab's welfare would be enough to sustain them- provided Chris stopped buying junk he never uses and stops eating at McDonald's. But it seems to me from the Twitter alone that Chris doesn't consider this emergency to be significant- it's like he skimmed across the issue as a lead-up to his retarded comic's scheduling, which in turn lead into "Rule 18" (which I can only assume is Chris' mistaken discovery of Rule 34). If he took the situation seriously at all, he'd either be pouring more emotion into it, or be absent altogether. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
******* Well Chris claims to have gotten his pack rat nature from his parents. So there's the possibility that if Bob goes, they'll spend themselves into nothing. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
-
• One thought- has anyone contacted [[Cole]] yet? I'm in Australia or I would myself. I know Chris doesn't gave a flying fuck and [[Snorlax]] almost certainly doesn't either. He should know I think. --Ronichu
* I think most of the family probably know by now (I would hope so anyway) but Cole has said in the past that he would celebrate when Bob "finally drops". Unless Cole is willing to make peace I say let him stay in the dark on this one, or leave it to the Chandlers to tell him. This is all too soon, I'm not ready for Bob to die yet... I just hope he dies comfortable, not at home and not surrounded by his family. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 01:40, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, when bob dies, i hope he doesn't has to see his failure son's face. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Agreed on letting the Chandlers tell Cole, if for no other reason than he might not believe some random troll from the Internet. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I really need to ask this- where was it picked up that Bob had a 10% chance of survival? If it was in the linked article, I didn't see it.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*I am asking myself the same question; where this came from? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** It doesn't, I think the person who wrote that must have seen the bit which says that it has an annual mortality rate of 10% and misunderstood it. He statistically has a 90% chance of surviving another year (provided he is suffering from the normal progressive form of the disease). I've changed the article to reflect this. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 11:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::Alright, awesome- I was just beginning to think if that had been true, then half my extended family is pretty damn lucky.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:58, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If Bob does kick it (may he rest in peace if he does), what odds do you give on Chris going to a funny farm in the next 5 years? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Unless if the state of Virginia got no cheaper option. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I try to send flowers to Bob but the FTD website ask for a phone number. Anyone got a clue what Chris's phone is? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

He tells us himself in the opening few seconds of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2vGKa-k2Us this video]. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*How about <s>Chris' credit card number</s> the hospital we should send them to? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's credit card number is 2984 8579 9562 3765. That number is fake by the way in case anyone missed the joke. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:24, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*thanks for the info. I forgot about this video. I rand FTD with a nice card and a Pink Lily Bouquet. Bob will receive them tomorrow.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
***Assuming Snorlax doesn't eat them first. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:08, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Do we know that Bob will get them? Knowing Chris, he'll assume that they are for him and make a youtube video thanking his secret admirer for sending him flowers. I hope that you made sure to put down in bold capitals that its for Bob, and even then its only a slim chance that he'll consider the idea that they're not for him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::*But pink is such a faggy color. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:53, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*There's a possibility that Chris will hijack the bouquet but let's see it that way; it's bloody pink if he does, we got material to doubt his straightness. Not only Bob's name is on the delivery slip but I also send a "Get Well" card mentioning him, the package couldn't be mistaken. FTD will deliver tomorrow. Let's see what it will bring us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I sent Bob a bouquet as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed hearing about his experiences and feel bad that he's stuck with a horrible wife and son. The all the man wants is a chance to discuss the world and listen to his records. At the very least, he deserves to know that there are people that like him out there. --[[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 22:35, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*What color? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:41, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Multi-colored. It's [http://www.teleflora.com/mixed-flowers/bouquet/make-a-wish-167864p.asp?s=t&promotioncode=Shed10&srccode=SH_FR&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=TFWEB164 this one.] [[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 01:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*If Chris suffered heart failure, I wouldn't send flowers. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 04:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*I kinda want Bob to die (Don't look at me like i am a monster) because I want the vicarious thrill of watching 14 Branchland Court implode without his common sense. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** Me too. He's pretty much the only person who ever tried to stop a Sweetheart opperation--he could have stopped Julie if Max hadn't been a good liar. Nothing will set the Snorlax off unless you try to lure Chris somewhere, and even then I remind you that we still got him to defy her and go to Ohio. Her general logic for any scenario seems to be "If Chris actually gets a girl, I'll believe it when I see her, otherwise it's his own damn fault for being stupid". This is Chris's logic, minus the part after the comma. Oh, and no Bob means less money, and what's going to make you think Chris starts stealing his tugboat payment from her?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*** If you kinda want Bob to die to make trolling Chris easier you're kinda a far more worthless human being than Chris is. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 23:41, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**** I'll justify myself, then. I will be sad to see Bob die, and I will be happy to see what happens when he's gone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
***Like I said, I'm no monster, I just wanna see Chris fall apart without Bob's guidance. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** If Chris has no-one to defend him or motivate him, it won't be a challenge to troll him anymore. I like Bob, and if I get to his age I intend to spend all day everyday swingin' with the music. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 02:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Well, since Barb is too weighed down by her own rolls to do anything, if Bob dies, there will be shit hitting fans in Chris' home real soon, and I don't mean cat shit.. Either way it's going to be funny considering Chris' warped view on death. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]]
**** She's not that fat, not yet anyway.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I know everyone has realized this by now, but I don't think Chris understands the severity of it all. On his Twitter, it says that Bob came down with a ''case'' of congestive heart failure. The way he's talking about it, it seems that Chris thinks that this is something Bob can overcome like a sick bug or something. That also explains the lack of concern in his two videos - he actually thinks Bob's gonna be alright in a few days, as if some R&R would do good! He doesn't realize that this may very well be the beginning of the end!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This is why I pity Bob Chandler right now. He's a man with decades of fair work, a patent on his name and the opportunity to be called the veteran of the most intense war the world never saw. Only for this, he will be a better man than myself. Here's the sad part. On the Internets, he will be remembered as the "Joseph" of the "Fail Messiah". The very fact that Chris ignore him in what we might call his last hours on Earth is shocking to me. He really don't deserve this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Point. Bob's death may come as a total and complete surprise to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*How do we even know Barb would let him know all the details? Wouldn't she consider keeping Chris ignorant to be a small mercy? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 05:56, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Small mercy? From everything I've heard of her, if she kept the details from Chris it would be because it's easier on her to just not tell him. In all honesty if anything's going to happen with this, it should be trying to get Chris to actually spend time with his father. Remember, the closest he's had to a constant in his life dying is his dog, and Optimus Prime, and in Chris' mind both of those came back. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 06:59, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

:I still think we should do something nice for Bob while he's sick. Unlike Chris, Bob is definitely someone I see as with positive qualities along with the negative (which he has plenty of, but don't we all). In light of this, I wanted to have a small hatched engraved with a message "For 'The Internet Lumberjack'. Get well soon! - The Trolls" on the front face and "Keep on swinging!" on the back. I found a place that does engraving along with a hatchet that would be suitable ($100 or so cost all up, probably about the same for postage, not a problem for me since I work), unfortunately I called Australia Post and they said that there were import restrictions on edged weapons into the United States for some reason. Is there anywhere in the US where one could order something similar to the above created and delivered? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:28, 4th of March 2010 (Australian Central Standard Time).
:*Does Bob even know that he's the Internet Lumberjack? The joke might be totally lost on him. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 10:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
*The cause was an internet fell on him. --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 08:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If bob dies, do you think chris will put him in his comic, just like patty?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 18:54, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

* Probably, but he'll be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Il_Sung Kim Il-Sung] type character, The dead but eternal leader of CWCville. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:37, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*For those who don't know, [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/ Charlottesville obituaries are here]. I'm not sure if this has been posted yet; correct me if it has. So far Bob has not shown up. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 21:17, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If he dies, I hope the funeral isn't private, because I plan on burying my axe and a broken internet modem with him.
--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:02, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, please, this is getting out of hand. There's lots of places to discuss stuff for Bob like sending him flowers and shit. But this place is not the place to do it. Please refer to [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|this]]. Talk pages should be reserved for how to improve the article and not for content - it was alright to discuss the validity of the tweets, for instance, but this is getting out of hand. Fuck, you can even arrange things on the Community Portal if you really want to.

Next person who posts something not related to improving the Bob Chandler article '''will be banned.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:25, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

I've added a heading below the ''Health and late life'' heading called ''What about Bob?''. I'm using it to encompass what little we know about the recent heart failure saga, and briefly touch on Chris's extracurricular activities during it. I figure once it's all over with, it will be much easier to delete the heading and contents as a whole, rather than sift through the Bob article and remove things piecemeal. But if it's getting too big, or if you all don't like it, feel free to cut it down in the spirit of Bob. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 06:26, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

==Bob's past heart attacks==

If you check out the transcript for the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]], you'll see several gaps, one of which is very large. I just reached the point in the audio where the first gap occurs, and it's ''right there'' that Bob starts talking about his history of health problems, most notable of which are his past heart attacks. We seem to have a surplus of Bob fans, so would one (or more) of you like to start filling in that gap (and/or the others)? I'm willing to do it myself, but I'm not the world's fastest typist, and - all kidding aside - I'd like to have all of this information about Bob made available before the man dies. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:57, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
*I'm surprised I haven't noticed this before. I'll actually add this to the Improvement of the Now. Be sure to mention this in the [[Transcription Collective]] as well. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:32, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

*He's definitely gonna die soon, because the fact that he's had four heart attacks and is older than my grandfather by a decade (he was born in 1937) , is a telltale sign that he's gonna meet Billy Mays sometime within the year.

*PSN message shows than Bob is okay, according to Chris, at least. Should he die, it'll be a day of mourning, but not for Cole. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 23:20, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Should we really be checking the Charlottesville obituaries?==

I thought that the Chandlers lived in Ruckersville and not Charlottesville proper. Perhaps someone from the area can inform me of the truth?--[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 08:28, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, but isn't the hospital in Charlottesville? I'd call them myself but my Boston accent's too thick for them to not raise an eyebrow. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 21:10, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

I had assumed that Ruckersville wouldn't have their own obit listing, but I just found out that they do. I'll add that link to the Charlottesville link on Bob's page. It's more of an off chance that he'd be listed anyway. Considering that the only people who would even write an obit would be Barb or Chris, it's doubtful if he'd even get one. But since we've all basically been pissing in the wind regarding Bob for the last week, it's about all we can do. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 06:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== Is Bob dead..? ==

[http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Is Chris still in control of this site?], because "Sonichu is no longer being updated. My father's passing has been too great for me. :( It is like I Lost Patti All Over Again."

The site was last updated on the 31st of March... --[[User:AsperGirl|AsperGirl]] 06:50, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

*It's a troll page. I think someone already saw and mentioned it elsewhere.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:59, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

* I personally spoke to both Bob and Snorlax about seven hours ago. They are both alive. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:18, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

So some people of TV Tropes seem to think Bob's dead. I've looked through a few websites that list obituaries from Ruckersville and Charlottesville and he wasn't listed on any of them. Any conformation as to whether he's alive or not? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 23:42, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*No telling, could be a trolling plot. I think we'd be warned if Bob was dead. The simple solution is to call Chris and simply ask him.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:24, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
** I tried calling him yesterday to ask him about Bob, but I couldn't get a hold of him. I'll try again, even though I know he probably won't pick it up. (How do you guys even manage to talk to him, anyway?) --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 23:12, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*There are about 15 more 'Sydney Calls' which are just voicemail messages and the like. Chris is too lazy to answer his phone and his parents are quite sick of all the pranks. Keep trying and you'll eventually get through. I tell you what though, if Chris actually gets a call from a game designer they would not put up with someone being so impossibly unreliable to contact. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:18, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
:::* Ah, I thought "call until he decides to pick up" would be the answer. I managed to get him on the line once sometime last year, but that was back when I was a CWC newfag, sooooo I froze up and hung up. *fails forever*

But yeah, that'd be yet another reason (out of an infinite amount of reasons) why game designers wouldn't touch ''Sonichu'' with a ten-foot pole. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:25, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::*If so, then a new era has begun. If not, then we can annoy Chris. And there's nothing Rocky can do about it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:47, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Heh, don't worry about the freezing up thing. Sydney was a huge fail, but she was about 50x more successful than my previous effort, where I got absolutely no response at all, only annoyed him a little, didn't record anything at all, entertained his parents and then nearly dox'd myself due to my tardness. Just to be sure, you're not calling him with your real phone, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:32, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::** Er.... Yeah, I'm using my cell phone. And for extra fail points, I use Audactiy to try to record my calls. What should I do instead? '''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 18:49, 25 May 2010 (UTC)
== racist ==
so has bob ever actually been out-and-out racist or is that just a (probably correct) assumption? just wondering [[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 15:56, 3 June 2010 (UTC)
{{quote|Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!|Bob, [[Prank_calls#.27Epic_Crazy_Lady.27_calls_Bob|choreographing trolls]]}}
This quote would suggest Bob thinks of black people in a negative light, referring to the trolls as being black. I'm stereotyping, but it's not uncommon for people from his generation to hold racist views. Him having been raised in Alabama would also suggest that he was exposed to racist views. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:07, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

ahahaha, how did i ever miss that article? funny shit, thanks man. although in another video on the page (just reading the transcript here, my speakers are busted so i can't hear how he says it so he could be being sarcastic or dismissive or whatever) he tells a troll to put effort into something constructive like helping haitians. i've known people who said stuff similar to "get your black ass down" (ok, not really that phrase but you get what i'm saying) and they aren't really racist. but then again i also live in south louisiana so that probably has something to do with the different standards for what constitutes racism or something (down here someone's not really considered racist until they start throwing around the n-word or other slurs or explicitly slander a race/someone because of their race). which, of course, isn't to say that makes saying something like that any less heinous.[[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 15:59, 5 June 2010 (UTC)

or maybe i'm just willing to give some people more leeway than they deserve; yeah that's probably it. [[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 05:41, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

== That picture of Bob and Chris ==

Long time lurker, love the site. I was just looking at the picture of Bob and Chris in what appears to be a classroom (0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg) and was noticing the Grade Chart. Am I reading it wrong, or does it seem to award money prizes for different grades, with at least 5$ being awarded even for failure? If I'm not misinterpreting it, does this mean Chris was getting rewarded, no matter how badly he did? [[User:Colonelslime|Colonelslime]] 17:55, 16 July 2010 (UTC) (Edited to add signature, my apologies)

* First off, sign your posts, four tildes at the end of your post. To answer your question, it might not mean that, in that he probably wasn't making money. Many teachers have systems with their students to encourage learning. The teacher makes some fake money, the kids take a test, the kids earn money based on their performance. She'll have a thing of toys they can buy with what they make. It was apparently popular back in the 80s and mid 90s, but nowadays kids can get better stuff than that by themselves. There's a slight chance that the kids were actually getting paid, but that would be a pretty bad plan for a teacher to put into motion. If so, it probably would have been for their final, overall grade, but still. Also, there is a talk page for files as well, so if you have anything else post there, alright? [[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 07:30, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-07-16T17:55:22Z

Colonelslime: /* That picture of Bob and Chris */

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-07-16T07:04:31Z

Colonelslime: /* That picture of Bob and Chris */

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-07-16T07:03:59Z

Colonelslime: /* That picture of Bob and Chris */ new section

==To do==
*<strike>Picture of Bob</strike>
**Bob looks like fucking Jigsaw. Scary. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:34, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's relationship with Bob, in Chris's own words
*add some background to Bob's history. He goes on about himself in the date audio, and he's a pretty interesting guy, like he saw the first plastic Coke bottles shipped off from the assembly line, and he was in the Signal Corps and all sorts of other interesting stuff. We need some of that in here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:06, 26 March 2009 (CET)

(Quick question - whats the date audio? Thanks!)
*...the audio of Chris's date with [[Emily]]. As seen available on the [[The Miscreants]] website. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:31, 17 April 2009 (CEST)

Should I mention he just got sent to the hospital in the health section with congestive heart failure? [[Shawths|Shawths]]

==Great job!==

Seriously, this article is terrific now. I'm surprised how far it's come. Good work to all those involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:11, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

: Still need more on video games and raising Chris. The section on Chris should be the biggest in this article. Will wait for others to finish transcribing because I can't make out Bob's quiet voice in church & Emily. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:24, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

== Bob's birthday ==

Why did everyone think it was Feb. 9th instead of Sept. 4? Does Chris not know when his father's birthday is? [[User:Sauerkraut131|Sauerkraut131]] 04:41, 27 June 2009 (CEST)
*No, it's just hard to tell from the Family Tree poster since it's in microscopic print. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:27, 27 June 2009 (CEST)

==Radio Station Gig==
According to some of the recordings via Yahoo Messenger, didn't Bob worked at a radio station at one time? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 21:01, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==i suck==

Hi, first time editor, long time lurker. I called CWC's house today, hoping to talk to him, but I got Bob instead. Those other people exaggerated about Bob's bravado in their callfail video, Bob isn't much of an opponent if you don't let him get a word in, he just seems to stammer a lot. Of note, he recognized my Texas area code (432) and said he was from Texas, and that he knew some KKK people who he said he would send over to my house if I didn't stop calling. Unfortunately it's lost to time because I can't record from my cellphone and maintain a decent quality. I called him in the morning, when he woke up I honestly thought it was Chris. Anyways, I suck at this shit, I'm gonna just lurk and wtach from now on. I don't have what it takes to be a troll. Thanks for the interesting page, and sorry I don't have any audio to give you guys. [[User:ColossalFail|ColossalFail]] 19:35, 28 November 2009 (CET)

==Hey... ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k]

My friend sent me this video earlier today. It has to do with someone prank calling Bob to get more info out of him involving his current life. Is there anything in it we could possibly use for this article? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 16:41, 20 February 2010 (EST)

*Is stuff like this now subject to the new CWCki privacy laws? Or are we good with all that?-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:54, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Congestive heart failure==

<center>{{Not_A_Forum}}</center>

Damn. We all knew this was coming eventually, but still.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

: We haven't confirmed it was actually Chris yet--I'm personally at 60-40 Chris, the writing style seems off(the Random Capitalization is unusual) but his posting pattern makes sense. Chris only seems to use Twitter when the CWCipedia has dicks on it and I doubt that he's checked recently.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*The Twitter is his, he's written in the [[CWC Blog]] about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** I don't see it on the CWCipedia updates.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:***It would explain his lack of presence for the last few days.
: Huh, I don't see that tweet on [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu his Twitter account]. Did he delete it, or am I just missing it somehow? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* No, it's there. It starts with "Captain's Log Stardate March 1st"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:13, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** Oh, now I see it. Thanks! *[[slow-in-the-mind]]* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 17:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
I don't want to live in a Cwcville without Bob. If he dies, I'll kill myself.
''

I'm going to kill myself if Bob Chandler dies
I'm going to kill myself if he makes me cry
I'll slit my wrists or I'll cut my throat
but I'll kill myself, I'll kill myself, by bleeding on his doorstep.''

[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:50, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

:My grandma died due to congestive heart failure. It isn't a pretty sight. -PeaceCeapPea

:I just heard the news. Dammit, Bob is awesome, I'm praying he doesn't kick it! PLEASE DON'T DIE, BOB! :'( [[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:57, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Just to be clear, CHF doesn't necessarily mean heart attack/failure/imminent death. What it means is that the heart is weakened and is having trouble pumping enough blood to the rest of the body. A lot of overweight and older people develop CHF and don't kick off immediately because of it, and it is treatable. So Bob may live to chop down more internets yet. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 07:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

He spent 2 tweets discussing how his dad has a serious health issue, then six talking about himself and Sonichu. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I know, right? What the fuck? That's pretty low. I know Chris has [[Mumble 1|implied]] that he doesn't love Bob, but I'd expect more than that. People always joke about Bob dying, but I wouldn't like that at all. He is the only sliver of awesome left in Chris's life. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*The thing is, people think that without Bob, we'd get more interesting results from Chris. Bob kept Chris from going to Redmond. Bob is more or less the reason why Chris won't travel anywhere for a troll. Anyways, I think the concern is that Bob has a long history of heart problems already and given his age, he's taken quite a beating and it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that this might do him in. Not that I pray for the death of Bob, mind you, only that this is the rationale of people focusing on Bob's death and why people aren't exactly optimistic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I wouldn't expected anything else from him. What about "I am putting ''Sonichu'' on hold because my father is at the hospital"? That wouldn't have been a novelty. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all do something nice for Lumberjack. Make his life a little easier. We should call in and wish him good health. How much better will he feel knowing that he is more loved than his internet famous son? He'd perk up right away. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* He appreciated [[4 September 2009|Vivian's card]], that's probably a good idea. A picnic hamper perhaps? Some kind of gift package with food and/or nice shit. Chris won't go to that trouble; someone should.- [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:33, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*If someone sets up a paypal, I'd chip in 10 bucks. He's the internet lumberjack, after all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:34, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I agree, that would be cool. [[User:Lynxr|–Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.–]] 19:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I plan on sending flowers by myself in the next few days. Some kind of "Get Well" bouquet. The man deserves it. He went through a lot and, even if he could had done better with Chris, he deserves a break. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*I've started a /cwc/ thread on this here: http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/24043.html - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 18:54, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I really hope Bob pulls through for Chris's sake. I really hate Chris but I know what it's like to lose one's father, and that's not something I'd wish upon anybody else. --[[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 16:44, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, seriously. I hope Bob gets well soon.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 19:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
** Same here. Out of the Chandlers, Bob is easily the most likeable.....which isn't exactly that difficult seeing the rest of the Chandlers, but still.. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 19:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, all the colossal dicks are gone from the Cwcipedia. A mark of respect? --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Sadly, it looks like it. Chris do not deserve any respect. CWCipedia should be a ground for Cock-Parades 24/7/365 [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**Dude, his dad could be fucking ''dying''. I think it's a nice gesture - that's why I mentioned it.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 22:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***I never saw Chris acting with compassion towards someone before, I don't see why we should indulge in Moral-Faggotery because of Bob's issues. As much as I respect the Old Man, He's not the jerk we all love to hate. This is why I strongly believe that the ads must be put back in place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:25, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Chris's 'stress' probably gets passed onto Bob. When Bob is in stable condition, there's no way Chris will be able to put his needs ahead of his own. He'll be getting all cunty about the trolling that he's receiving and not helping Bob's situaition at all. I say lay off and go with [[User:Edward|Edward's]] idea. Well wishes and get well soon ads for Bob. So what if Chris gets smug. Smug Chris is positive happy Chris, it's the closest he gets to that emotion. We can put up with that while his dad's in hospital, right? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Seconded. /Scruffy --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Chris wouldn't give a fuck if his father died. He hates him. If he hasn't empaphized with anyone else, then why the father he hates so much? He'll fake sadness, pretend he cares, but he'll still consider fucking Patti the worst loss of his life. And going easy on Chris is no help for Bob, that just means that in possibly his last days with his father he'll be all smug about his victory over the gay ads. If anything they should put up a get well message for Bob using the adspace. I'm going to mention that to the Asperpedia crew next time i'm over there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:42, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***Agreed. Look at the Quote of the Now. He mentions that his dad is in the hospital and would be there for a few days, but he had a LOOOONG stressful day. He wants us to feel sorry for him for the day, not his dad. It would be the greatest wake up call when he does pass away.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:23, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****Chris being selfish? that's old news. If bob dies, it's ovbiously he would become chris's new excuse " i can't do << insert anything>> because my dad died" for a while, he'll forget about him and continue to be the jerk we know. Id bob dies he will be free from the torments of chris, bob has been trough too many shit thanks to Chris, bob deserves to finally rest in peace. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****Actually, what would happen if Bob died? Presumably the family, not just Bob are living off his pension and social security. Even if they own the house completely, however much Barbra is bringing in plus $450 from Chris' board may not be enough to pay all their costs (bills, food, etc). --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:15, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
****** I wouldn't doubt that the accumulative total of both Chris' and Bab's welfare would be enough to sustain them- provided Chris stopped buying junk he never uses and stops eating at McDonald's. But it seems to me from the Twitter alone that Chris doesn't consider this emergency to be significant- it's like he skimmed across the issue as a lead-up to his retarded comic's scheduling, which in turn lead into "Rule 18" (which I can only assume is Chris' mistaken discovery of Rule 34). If he took the situation seriously at all, he'd either be pouring more emotion into it, or be absent altogether. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
******* Well Chris claims to have gotten his pack rat nature from his parents. So there's the possibility that if Bob goes, they'll spend themselves into nothing. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
-
• One thought- has anyone contacted [[Cole]] yet? I'm in Australia or I would myself. I know Chris doesn't gave a flying fuck and [[Snorlax]] almost certainly doesn't either. He should know I think. --Ronichu
* I think most of the family probably know by now (I would hope so anyway) but Cole has said in the past that he would celebrate when Bob "finally drops". Unless Cole is willing to make peace I say let him stay in the dark on this one, or leave it to the Chandlers to tell him. This is all too soon, I'm not ready for Bob to die yet... I just hope he dies comfortable, not at home and not surrounded by his family. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 01:40, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, when bob dies, i hope he doesn't has to see his failure son's face. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Agreed on letting the Chandlers tell Cole, if for no other reason than he might not believe some random troll from the Internet. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I really need to ask this- where was it picked up that Bob had a 10% chance of survival? If it was in the linked article, I didn't see it.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*I am asking myself the same question; where this came from? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** It doesn't, I think the person who wrote that must have seen the bit which says that it has an annual mortality rate of 10% and misunderstood it. He statistically has a 90% chance of surviving another year (provided he is suffering from the normal progressive form of the disease). I've changed the article to reflect this. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 11:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::Alright, awesome- I was just beginning to think if that had been true, then half my extended family is pretty damn lucky.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:58, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If Bob does kick it (may he rest in peace if he does), what odds do you give on Chris going to a funny farm in the next 5 years? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Unless if the state of Virginia got no cheaper option. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I try to send flowers to Bob but the FTD website ask for a phone number. Anyone got a clue what Chris's phone is? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

He tells us himself in the opening few seconds of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2vGKa-k2Us this video]. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*How about <s>Chris' credit card number</s> the hospital we should send them to? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's credit card number is 2984 8579 9562 3765. That number is fake by the way in case anyone missed the joke. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:24, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*thanks for the info. I forgot about this video. I rand FTD with a nice card and a Pink Lily Bouquet. Bob will receive them tomorrow.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
***Assuming Snorlax doesn't eat them first. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:08, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Do we know that Bob will get them? Knowing Chris, he'll assume that they are for him and make a youtube video thanking his secret admirer for sending him flowers. I hope that you made sure to put down in bold capitals that its for Bob, and even then its only a slim chance that he'll consider the idea that they're not for him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::*But pink is such a faggy color. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:53, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*There's a possibility that Chris will hijack the bouquet but let's see it that way; it's bloody pink if he does, we got material to doubt his straightness. Not only Bob's name is on the delivery slip but I also send a "Get Well" card mentioning him, the package couldn't be mistaken. FTD will deliver tomorrow. Let's see what it will bring us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I sent Bob a bouquet as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed hearing about his experiences and feel bad that he's stuck with a horrible wife and son. The all the man wants is a chance to discuss the world and listen to his records. At the very least, he deserves to know that there are people that like him out there. --[[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 22:35, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*What color? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:41, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Multi-colored. It's [http://www.teleflora.com/mixed-flowers/bouquet/make-a-wish-167864p.asp?s=t&promotioncode=Shed10&srccode=SH_FR&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=TFWEB164 this one.] [[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 01:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*If Chris suffered heart failure, I wouldn't send flowers. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 04:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*I kinda want Bob to die (Don't look at me like i am a monster) because I want the vicarious thrill of watching 14 Branchland Court implode without his common sense. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** Me too. He's pretty much the only person who ever tried to stop a Sweetheart opperation--he could have stopped Julie if Max hadn't been a good liar. Nothing will set the Snorlax off unless you try to lure Chris somewhere, and even then I remind you that we still got him to defy her and go to Ohio. Her general logic for any scenario seems to be "If Chris actually gets a girl, I'll believe it when I see her, otherwise it's his own damn fault for being stupid". This is Chris's logic, minus the part after the comma. Oh, and no Bob means less money, and what's going to make you think Chris starts stealing his tugboat payment from her?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*** If you kinda want Bob to die to make trolling Chris easier you're kinda a far more worthless human being than Chris is. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 23:41, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**** I'll justify myself, then. I will be sad to see Bob die, and I will be happy to see what happens when he's gone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
***Like I said, I'm no monster, I just wanna see Chris fall apart without Bob's guidance. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** If Chris has no-one to defend him or motivate him, it won't be a challenge to troll him anymore. I like Bob, and if I get to his age I intend to spend all day everyday swingin' with the music. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 02:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Well, since Barb is too weighed down by her own rolls to do anything, if Bob dies, there will be shit hitting fans in Chris' home real soon, and I don't mean cat shit.. Either way it's going to be funny considering Chris' warped view on death. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]]
**** She's not that fat, not yet anyway.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I know everyone has realized this by now, but I don't think Chris understands the severity of it all. On his Twitter, it says that Bob came down with a ''case'' of congestive heart failure. The way he's talking about it, it seems that Chris thinks that this is something Bob can overcome like a sick bug or something. That also explains the lack of concern in his two videos - he actually thinks Bob's gonna be alright in a few days, as if some R&R would do good! He doesn't realize that this may very well be the beginning of the end!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This is why I pity Bob Chandler right now. He's a man with decades of fair work, a patent on his name and the opportunity to be called the veteran of the most intense war the world never saw. Only for this, he will be a better man than myself. Here's the sad part. On the Internets, he will be remembered as the "Joseph" of the "Fail Messiah". The very fact that Chris ignore him in what we might call his last hours on Earth is shocking to me. He really don't deserve this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Point. Bob's death may come as a total and complete surprise to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*How do we even know Barb would let him know all the details? Wouldn't she consider keeping Chris ignorant to be a small mercy? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 05:56, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Small mercy? From everything I've heard of her, if she kept the details from Chris it would be because it's easier on her to just not tell him. In all honesty if anything's going to happen with this, it should be trying to get Chris to actually spend time with his father. Remember, the closest he's had to a constant in his life dying is his dog, and Optimus Prime, and in Chris' mind both of those came back. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 06:59, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

:I still think we should do something nice for Bob while he's sick. Unlike Chris, Bob is definitely someone I see as with positive qualities along with the negative (which he has plenty of, but don't we all). In light of this, I wanted to have a small hatched engraved with a message "For 'The Internet Lumberjack'. Get well soon! - The Trolls" on the front face and "Keep on swinging!" on the back. I found a place that does engraving along with a hatchet that would be suitable ($100 or so cost all up, probably about the same for postage, not a problem for me since I work), unfortunately I called Australia Post and they said that there were import restrictions on edged weapons into the United States for some reason. Is there anywhere in the US where one could order something similar to the above created and delivered? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:28, 4th of March 2010 (Australian Central Standard Time).
:*Does Bob even know that he's the Internet Lumberjack? The joke might be totally lost on him. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 10:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
*The cause was an internet fell on him. --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 08:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If bob dies, do you think chris will put him in his comic, just like patty?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 18:54, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

* Probably, but he'll be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Il_Sung Kim Il-Sung] type character, The dead but eternal leader of CWCville. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:37, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*For those who don't know, [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/ Charlottesville obituaries are here]. I'm not sure if this has been posted yet; correct me if it has. So far Bob has not shown up. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 21:17, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*If he dies, I hope the funeral isn't private, because I plan on burying my axe and a broken internet modem with him.
--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:02, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, please, this is getting out of hand. There's lots of places to discuss stuff for Bob like sending him flowers and shit. But this place is not the place to do it. Please refer to [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|this]]. Talk pages should be reserved for how to improve the article and not for content - it was alright to discuss the validity of the tweets, for instance, but this is getting out of hand. Fuck, you can even arrange things on the Community Portal if you really want to.

Next person who posts something not related to improving the Bob Chandler article '''will be banned.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:25, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

I've added a heading below the ''Health and late life'' heading called ''What about Bob?''. I'm using it to encompass what little we know about the recent heart failure saga, and briefly touch on Chris's extracurricular activities during it. I figure once it's all over with, it will be much easier to delete the heading and contents as a whole, rather than sift through the Bob article and remove things piecemeal. But if it's getting too big, or if you all don't like it, feel free to cut it down in the spirit of Bob. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 06:26, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

==Bob's past heart attacks==

If you check out the transcript for the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]], you'll see several gaps, one of which is very large. I just reached the point in the audio where the first gap occurs, and it's ''right there'' that Bob starts talking about his history of health problems, most notable of which are his past heart attacks. We seem to have a surplus of Bob fans, so would one (or more) of you like to start filling in that gap (and/or the others)? I'm willing to do it myself, but I'm not the world's fastest typist, and - all kidding aside - I'd like to have all of this information about Bob made available before the man dies. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:57, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
*I'm surprised I haven't noticed this before. I'll actually add this to the Improvement of the Now. Be sure to mention this in the [[Transcription Collective]] as well. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:32, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

*He's definitely gonna die soon, because the fact that he's had four heart attacks and is older than my grandfather by a decade (he was born in 1937) , is a telltale sign that he's gonna meet Billy Mays sometime within the year.

*PSN message shows than Bob is okay, according to Chris, at least. Should he die, it'll be a day of mourning, but not for Cole. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 23:20, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Should we really be checking the Charlottesville obituaries?==

I thought that the Chandlers lived in Ruckersville and not Charlottesville proper. Perhaps someone from the area can inform me of the truth?--[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 08:28, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, but isn't the hospital in Charlottesville? I'd call them myself but my Boston accent's too thick for them to not raise an eyebrow. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 21:10, 9 March 2010 (UTC)

I had assumed that Ruckersville wouldn't have their own obit listing, but I just found out that they do. I'll add that link to the Charlottesville link on Bob's page. It's more of an off chance that he'd be listed anyway. Considering that the only people who would even write an obit would be Barb or Chris, it's doubtful if he'd even get one. But since we've all basically been pissing in the wind regarding Bob for the last week, it's about all we can do. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 06:14, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== Is Bob dead..? ==

[http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Is Chris still in control of this site?], because "Sonichu is no longer being updated. My father's passing has been too great for me. :( It is like I Lost Patti All Over Again."

The site was last updated on the 31st of March... --[[User:AsperGirl|AsperGirl]] 06:50, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

*It's a troll page. I think someone already saw and mentioned it elsewhere.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:59, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

* I personally spoke to both Bob and Snorlax about seven hours ago. They are both alive. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:18, 8 April 2010 (UTC)

So some people of TV Tropes seem to think Bob's dead. I've looked through a few websites that list obituaries from Ruckersville and Charlottesville and he wasn't listed on any of them. Any conformation as to whether he's alive or not? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 23:42, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*No telling, could be a trolling plot. I think we'd be warned if Bob was dead. The simple solution is to call Chris and simply ask him.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:24, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
** I tried calling him yesterday to ask him about Bob, but I couldn't get a hold of him. I'll try again, even though I know he probably won't pick it up. (How do you guys even manage to talk to him, anyway?) --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 23:12, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*There are about 15 more 'Sydney Calls' which are just voicemail messages and the like. Chris is too lazy to answer his phone and his parents are quite sick of all the pranks. Keep trying and you'll eventually get through. I tell you what though, if Chris actually gets a call from a game designer they would not put up with someone being so impossibly unreliable to contact. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:18, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
:::* Ah, I thought "call until he decides to pick up" would be the answer. I managed to get him on the line once sometime last year, but that was back when I was a CWC newfag, sooooo I froze up and hung up. *fails forever*

But yeah, that'd be yet another reason (out of an infinite amount of reasons) why game designers wouldn't touch ''Sonichu'' with a ten-foot pole. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:25, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::*If so, then a new era has begun. If not, then we can annoy Chris. And there's nothing Rocky can do about it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:47, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Heh, don't worry about the freezing up thing. Sydney was a huge fail, but she was about 50x more successful than my previous effort, where I got absolutely no response at all, only annoyed him a little, didn't record anything at all, entertained his parents and then nearly dox'd myself due to my tardness. Just to be sure, you're not calling him with your real phone, right? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:32, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::** Er.... Yeah, I'm using my cell phone. And for extra fail points, I use Audactiy to try to record my calls. What should I do instead? '''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 18:49, 25 May 2010 (UTC)
== racist ==
so has bob ever actually been out-and-out racist or is that just a (probably correct) assumption? just wondering [[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 15:56, 3 June 2010 (UTC)
{{quote|Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!|Bob, [[Prank_calls#.27Epic_Crazy_Lady.27_calls_Bob|choreographing trolls]]}}
This quote would suggest Bob thinks of black people in a negative light, referring to the trolls as being black. I'm stereotyping, but it's not uncommon for people from his generation to hold racist views. Him having been raised in Alabama would also suggest that he was exposed to racist views. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:07, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

ahahaha, how did i ever miss that article? funny shit, thanks man. although in another video on the page (just reading the transcript here, my speakers are busted so i can't hear how he says it so he could be being sarcastic or dismissive or whatever) he tells a troll to put effort into something constructive like helping haitians. i've known people who said stuff similar to "get your black ass down" (ok, not really that phrase but you get what i'm saying) and they aren't really racist. but then again i also live in south louisiana so that probably has something to do with the different standards for what constitutes racism or something (down here someone's not really considered racist until they start throwing around the n-word or other slurs or explicitly slander a race/someone because of their race). which, of course, isn't to say that makes saying something like that any less heinous.[[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 15:59, 5 June 2010 (UTC)

or maybe i'm just willing to give some people more leeway than they deserve; yeah that's probably it. [[User:Woot Rodriguez|Woot Rodriguez]] 05:41, 8 June 2010 (UTC)

== That picture of Bob and Chris ==

Long time lurker, love the site. I was just looking at the picture of Bob and Chris in what appears to be a classroom (0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg) and was noticing the Grade Chart. Am I reading it wrong, or does it seem to award money prizes for different grades, with at least 5$ being awarded even for failure? If I'm not misinterpreting it, does this mean Chris was getting rewarded, no matter how badly he did?

== That picture of Bob and Chris ==

Long time lurker, love the site. I was just looking at the picture of Bob and Chris in what appears to be a classroom (0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg) and was noticing the Grade Chart. Am I reading it wrong, or does it seem to award money prizes for different grades, with at least 5$ being awarded even for failure? If I'm not misinterpreting it, does this mean Chris was getting rewarded, no matter how badly he did?

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-07-16T07:03:34Z

Colonelslime: /* That picture of Bob and Chris */ new section