CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:The Hook Cafe

2010-04-06T19:13:13Z

Coolusernamebro:

Hi guys, I think this might be a fake account: http://twitter.com/search?q=-RT%20sonichu+-sonichu1%20-wildsonichu1%20-MaryLeeWalsh1%20-Sandy_Rosechu%20-WildSonichu1#search?q=-RT%20sonichu%20-sonichu1%20-wildsonichu1%20-MaryLeeWalsh1%20-Sandy_Rosechu%20-WildSonichu1 [[User:Godz1lla|Godz1lla]] 18:27, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I'll set to putting together a summary of this, I guess. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:38, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*The current format sucks (no offense). We need to mirror the content - the last Hook Cafe ad Chris had is forever lost in time, so now we need to mirror this for when this inevitably gets hacked. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:* So you want it all replicated word-for-word? Easily done. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:55, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

*Chris's favorite radio station: http://www.z95.net/ --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:02, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:* And it's...yep, home to the John Tesh show. Weird. So far as I can tell this is like a station for 35-year-old women. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:08, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I think the numerous John Tesh references (at least the times he's popped up in the background of calls) might warrant an article for the guy.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:17, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I was about to say the exact same thing. Especially since he probably provided the germ for Chris's fixation on the three-date rule. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:18, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh god....
Anyway he's aiming a little high isn't he?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:38, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*Only if you mean him not accepting anyone: over age 28, overweight, mature, or of any ethnicity other than white. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
*I just noticed the "blacks need not apply part
*"''People say my face is my best feature.''" I don't know what to think. Either Chris isn't aware that acne isn't attractive, or he thinks people won't notice. So yeah, Chris is aiming a little high.
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:45, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Well... at least he's saying 21 instead of 18. That's almost like progress. Almost.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:48, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
** I have to wonder if he found out about the "half your age plus seven" rule that people sometimes use to figure an appropriate age to date. Knowing Chris's tendency to take such things as written in stone rules... so yeah. [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 00:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*As long as It keeps him from hitting on High School girls, I'm okay with it. The facebook messages he sent to that one 17 year old still make me shudder.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:54, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*Welp, the little voice in my head told me to sign up in order to troll Chris, so I went for it...unfortunately, I need to have credits in order to establish communication. Should I abort and let a for real person do it instead? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]
**How much is it gonna set you back?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:10, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
**Considering that a ninety day pass is $40.00USD, and I believe I have seventy bucks in my checking account, I think I should abort. Any thoughts? [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]
UTC)
*** I created a fake account, paid for it, uploaded some bullshit and flirted with Chris. I also sent him an e-mail saying I'd upload a picture and my 'digits' as soon as I got home from school. No replies yet, but without a picture I probably won't get far. Unfortunately, I am stuck in Sydney airport with only an iPhone for Internet so I can't upload one right away. I will attempt to find a net cafe or something- this opportunity is too good to pass up. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:40, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

*Damn it guys, stop trying to be the next bluespike, what is needed is a field agent to go on a date with Chris, and try to get even more info, who knows, it might be the return of the man in the pickle suit.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:39, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I haven't seen anything that brings up bluespike-like trolling. If anything this'll could turn into another Kacey or, if we use a field agent, another Emily. Do we have any willing field agents we could call upon? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 04:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

** I live in Australia and I have a pickle, or I totally would. This is the best I can do. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:50, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
== So should we do this for his other dating profiles too? ==

I mean, I'm looking at his OkCupid Profile right now. I'm pretty sure it's several years old, but even back then he still checked himself off as looking for casual sex.

Not that he'll ever get any.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:15, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
:Now that I think about it, probably the best way to do it would be to have one page titled "Dating sites" where we mirror his various awful dating profiles of fail.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:17, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

*No, I think each individual one should. Redundant but these are primary sources and it's easier to cite an individual profile. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:57, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

I once listed a number under [[Dating]]. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:05, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Religion: None ==

That's unusual. I've said that Chris isn't a "Christian" in any real way before, but I know he self-identifies as one pretty strongly. It's really weird for him to list himself as "None, Christian". I guess it's possible he finally realized that openly Christian women typically aren't seeking casual sex, so this way he shows up on searches for people without religion, but its' still not very Chris-like at all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

•I noticed that as well. I didn't have any clue why he would do such a thing given his strong Christian identity, but the idea that he wants to show up on the searches of Godless Heathen Babes looking for sexy sweets rings true to me. The Fuck Quest overrides all other concerns, after all. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:07, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

* There are 3 possible explanations. 1) He's a dumbass 2) He i s tired of being called upon, every time he does something that goes against the bible, so he now has an excuse of " nah i don't follow the bible directly" and still say " the homos are going to hell because the bible says so". 3)He doesn't want to be with a woman that's too much into religion anymore, to not get the "abstinence" excuse to not have hankey pankey. Either way, it's because Chris had enough of religion for a while, since it's not helping him right now.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*There's no way of knowing until Chris explains it himself, and the best way to do that is to put a huge ad on the CWCipedia accusing Chris of abandoning God and selling his soul to the devil.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:45, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

:*When you fill out the profile, there's a drop-down menu of various religion choices, plus an open field to fill in whatever you want if your choice isn't in the menu. Chris picked "None" from the drop-down menu because Methodist isn't one of the options offered, then typed Christian/Methodist in the open field. If he'd left the drop-down alone, it probably wouldn't have displayed anything. So he hasn't abandoned his faith or anything, he just fucked up filling out a web form. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:47, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
::*Diaken's explination makes the most sense. Which is kind of a shame because it's also the most boring. I don't think my initial "wants to show up on searches for atheist" guess is too far off though.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:55, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Earlier ad ==

Oldfags may recall Chris had an add through here before, which may have been documented somewhere on the ED page if you dig. I doubt anyone archived it though, and I do recall it was legit though it was eventually hacked to make it seem like Chris was gay and how his favorite food was pickles, etc. This should be referenced somewhere though. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:58, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, here's where the ad used to be: http://charlottesville.selectalternatives.com/gyrobase/Personals/Profile?person=oid%3A239898 [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:00, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Mailbag 51

2010-02-02T06:32:52Z

Coolusernamebro:

Cracker cell pones what the fuck.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:45, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
* It's random and unfunny, so it's either stolen from a children's cartoon or Adult Swim. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:04, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
** Cleveland Show. Fuck you, Seth MacFarlane. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:40, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Oh goddamnit. Keith Keithson here. He told me that I should meet his homophobic ass in person to see how much of a nicer person he is. Can someone who isn't dumbstruck by his idiocy give him a proper call-out?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:46, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

"''Your questions are unbiased, and outrageous.''" Obviously Chris doesn't realize that being "unbiased" is generally a good thing. --[[User:Coolusernamebro|Coolusernamebro]] 06:32, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

User:Coolusernamebro

2010-01-28T04:32:09Z

Coolusernamebro:

I'm new to Wiki editing. I will be making minor edits, mostly.

{{Canuckfag}}
{{Scamper}}

User:Coolusernamebro

2010-01-28T01:57:45Z

Coolusernamebro: Created page with 'I'm new to Wiki editing. I will be making minor edits, mostly.'

I'm new to Wiki editing. I will be making minor edits, mostly.

Talk:Mailbag 46

2010-01-28T01:53:17Z

Coolusernamebro: /* YOUNG AND ADULT Social Group */

BEAT THAT WASNT ME :( -[[User:Phlegethon|Phlegethon]] 03:20, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
:My bad dude. I need to check the page history more carefully. I swear to you, in the future I will pause for a moment before I toss out baseless accusations.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:28, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

==Anagrams==
Nice, but I like "Clownish, Tender Anarchist" more.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:55, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

==One Billion Served==

Chris thinks he has over ONE BILLION FANS? As in 1/7th the world's population?! Jesus tapdancing Christ. Somebody's gotta mailbag that one. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 02:05, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

:* I was starting to hope that someone would ask Chris for a real numerical estimate. But his answer here only raises more questions! Does Chris actually believe that he has over a billion fans? Or did he suffer a "mental block" and just offer an arbitrarily high estimate? Or else, was he just trying to make some kind of joke? It's things like this that seriously make me wish that we'd replace the mailbags with long series of simple questions. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 02:19, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
::*When I encounter such problems related to Chris, I follow two guidelines. #1: Chris is a moron who acts by following his twisted vision of the world and his narcissism. #2: In doubt, follow guideline #1. In this case, he just typed a number with plenty of zeros in it until the number was higher than the highest subjected answer and was pleasing to his ego. I don't think he even believe he got so many fans; he just want the answer to look good. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:10, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

==YOUNG AND ADULT Social Group==

What do you guys put the odds on Chris meeting a new Hambeast? A Young Adult near the age of thirty would start having his pick of the litter from all those Older Young Adult women that are just as pathetic and desperate as him... [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 02:36, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Naw, I think it's just another Chloe. He said all this in defense to a guy in order to seem like he has a life. And Chris being Chris thinks if you don't meet girls you aren't being social.--[[User:Da-zen-man|Da-zen-man]] 02:57, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
::*...or he's out drinking again. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:38, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

::*I think we should keep an eye out for more evidence, for or against. If Chris has found a female who isn't trolling IRL, she'd have to be further down the social chain than he is. Personally, I'm hoping she's a slow-in-the-mind. If the trolls don't let this slide, lulz are to be had either way. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 03:45, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
:::*Two words, my friend - Megan 2.0. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:15, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

:*Most likely, this is just Chris being delusional again, or he could be making things up (partially or completely). --[[User:Coolusernamebro|Coolusernamebro]] 01:53, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

==I answer most e-mails!==

<blockquote>
"Well, at least I do answer my Letters. And I am certain he deletes EVERY LAST LETTER he is the least offended by, or REWORDS ALL of such; AT least I put most of those letters in a seperate bag and give them notice and attention appropriately."
</blockquote>
Said by Chris in mailbag 45 and then,<br />
>This mailbag<br />
Blatant hypocrisy and in less than a couple minutes.--[[User:Da-zen-man|Da-zen-man]] 05:27, 27 January 2010 (UTC)