CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and death

2010-09-26T17:50:24Z

CosmicFeeling:

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he has a hard time understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===The victims of the Titanic incident (18XX-1912)===
In his [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|message to Lars]] in [[September 2010]], Chris belittled the lives of the men and women who died in the sinking of the RMS ''Titanic'' by constructing a boat out of LEGOs with several LEGO men on it, one representing Lars, pretending the ship sinks, then destroying the boat.

===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>[[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]]</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his [[PSP]].]]
Coming soon... both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

On 01 [[March 2010]], Bob was sent to the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris stated that he believed his father would survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). Bob has had four prior heart attacks and "Eat at Burger King" is still a part of his daily routine. His inevitable death (and probably one more heart attack) is likely to occur sometime within the next few years.

===Chris himself===
Given Chris's terrible diet, poor [[health]], [[obesity]], lack of exercise and general lack of concern for anything, he is unlikely to live far into his forties. However, he may be genetically disposed to live a long — albeit, [[100 2178|miserable]] — life: [[Bob]] has lived into his eighties despite being a heavy drinker, and other male relatives have lived past 90 (the average American man dies at 75 or 76).

Naturally, the death of Chris himself is the only death that immediately concerns Chris. And unsurprisingly, he is only worried about his death because it would put a stop to the Love Quest once and for all. Chris's fear of death is probably an extension of his fear of [[F Abstinance|reaching old age before getting laid]], as opposed to the fear of death exhibited by normal people. Chris also apparently has a recurring nightmare where he finds himself "going into the light". It is unknown when he began to have this nightmare, but it is likely one of the "bad dreams" Chris claimed that Ivy helped stop. It has probably been going on for years and will most likely continue until the day it comes true.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-08-28T19:16:46Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Overview */

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|right|300px|Our hero]]

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], stubborn, [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and March [[2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

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Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|David Hume, [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair]]-brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008 trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2010-08-28T19:08:33Z

CosmicFeeling: Edit based off of the latest video regarding the high school reunion

''This article is about Christian Weston Chandler, the Internet's favorite autistic manchild. For all other uses please visit [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]''

{{Honest}}

[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|right|300px|Our hero]]

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), also known by his scientific name, ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' is a [[Chris and Rape|perverse]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]], [[Chris and the law|quarrelsome]], [[Death threats|mean-spirited, spiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[homos|homophobic]], [[Chris and sex|sexist]], [[niggos|racist]], [[Chris and health|overweight]], [[Chris and reality|delusional]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]], stubborn, [[art|completely]] and [[writing|utterly]] [[music|untalented]] "[[autism|high-functioning autistic]]" [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]]]]
Much like the devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]." In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan." Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler." He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo," and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher' Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler," or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{-}}
==Overview==

[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed—by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]]—to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single bedroom in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly" and "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you" and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and March [[2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. He is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls] working in the companies.

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]," was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely it is to be true.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that [[Wikipedia:Casper the Friendly Ghost|Casper the Friendly Ghost]] lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In 1989, noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the 4th grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school." Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the 6th grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]].

This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg

</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]]]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].<ref>[[Sonichu 7]], [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8P12.htm page 22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high-school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high-school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's (non)award winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face." Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre.''
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.]]
</gallery>}}

{{clear}}

===Adult adventures===

{{Quote|"It is certain, that even the most ignorant and stupid peasants, nay infants, nay even brute beasts, improve by experience.|David Hume, [[Love_quest|having never met Chris]]}}

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend… allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear]]

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', [[masturbation|masturbating]] and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a local game and card shop. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog [[Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.

==Discovery==

{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH]]

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7]] unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and [[hair]]-brained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.
{{clear}}

==Chris today==

{{main|2008|2009|2010}}

[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008 trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]] [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]]!]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This appears to be connected to a reduction in his online presence, and the disappearance of his [[medallion]] and his [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]]. Of late Chris has become paranoid and has grown more suspicious of anyone online, imploring everyone to meet him in person if they ''really'' want to get to know him. Of course, Chris has [[List of Chris's Lies|a penchant for lying]], so talking to him in real life is as pointless as talking to him online. Also, his desire to avoid being fooled has not made him any better at doing it, and trolls can be assured that sooner or later he'll fall for some "girl" that asks him to [[BlueSpike|shove stuff up his ass]]. No matter how hard he tries to avoid the trolling, he will always inexplicably find someone to troll him.

Today Chris continues to live with his parents, living off the [[monthly tugboat|money]] he receives from the federal government as compensation for his autism, which allegedly renders him incapable of contributing to society. Since he has no job and is usually banned from any place he visits for more than thirty minutes, Chris has few social outlets and has grown increasingly withdrawn. In his desperate need for attention, he repeatedly returns to the trolls, unwittingly proving that the only people who will put up with him are those who just want him to do something stupid for them to laugh at.

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = Part 3 of the series
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - the 503 faces of Chris-Chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC a sad story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 'My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler' Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]], Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]], Chris's own CWCki account!
* [[Scrapbook of Fail]], a sampling of Chris's artistic masterworks
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], Chris's furry alter ego.

==References==

{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Chris and sex

2010-08-09T22:49:20Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Is Chris asexual? */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
<div style="clear:right; float:right;">{{showhide|title=Show me some Chris Duck|width=225px|content=[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]}}</div>
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from Sailor Moon.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart, Chris reveals that he has never kissed a girl. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, and he sticks by them religiously. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''[[Playboy]]''!

His actual knowledge of sex is crude and basic at best and blatantly wrong at worst, and most of his sex knowledge is at worst. When given the chance to display his sexual knowledge, he illustrates that his entire frame of reference comes from watching porn and not getting it. He mimics' female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. This general ignorance spreads to sexual vocabulary as well. The "missionary cowgirl" mentioned in Sonichu, for example, is both nonexistent and impossible (Although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], he manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position - with himself on top). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. At least he knows ''of'' birth control, even if he'll never have a chance to show how much he really knows on using it. Chris is also wholly ignorant of cues for sexual attraction, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Mariana Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. His views on women are inadvertently supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to moan loudly while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex/or a girlfriend.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

Recently, Chris has taken to using the word asexual as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Is Chris a furry?==
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been someexceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has [[Chris and tolerance|prejudice]] against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for Yu-Gi-Oh, and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the Sonichu comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown some ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]].

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly.

==Rape==
{{main|Chris and rape}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Champthom

2010-08-04T02:29:35Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Sonichu TAS transcripts */ new section

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]]

==Upload page==
Thank you sir, your change is much appreciated. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 12:43, 20 December 2009 (CET)

==Sonichu Franchise Games==

How about this: [[User:Dude/Sonichu_Franchise_Games]]

...replace these:
*[[Sonichu (game)]]
*[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]
*[[Pokémon:_Lightning_Version]]
*[[Sonichu_Adventure]]
*[[Sonichu_Advance]]
*[[EX-CWC]]
--[[User:Dude|Dude]] 05:47, 22 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's First Interview==
I noticed on [[Talk:Chris-chan_Discusses...]] you asked for someone to mirror Chris's first interview on Youtube. I know that was a while back, <s>but as far as I can tell no one has actually done it yet</s>, so I went ahead and did it for you [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-4Mvc5LbM]. I hope you're pleased. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 23:10, 27 December 2009 (CET)
*just noticed a while ago that it's aleardy been uploaded by The CWCville Library. I have no clue how I was so oblivious to that. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 03:26, 28 December 2009 (CET)
:*I didn't notice this either, thank you for telling me about this though and I appreciate your effort anyways.
:*Also can't seem to find it on the CWCvilleLibrary...could you possibly post a link?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:49, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Thanks, Champthom==
<nowiki>:)</nowiki> --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 09:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==New Hotness for Videos==
Take a look at this template for videos that [[User:NeoShadow]] made; it's really sweet. It can wrap around videos (in the middle of the page, where they are now) or it can be used as a sidebar.

*Template: [[Template:Infobox/video]]

*Centered example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes]]

*Sidebar example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes2]]

Thoughts? It's been on the [[CWCki:Priority_Listing|to do list]] for a while now, and we could get one or the other in place pretty quickly. The big question is which placement to use, and general style questions vis-a-vis the way it looks. Let us know! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 09:43, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*I really like it, but there was some debate (I need to see where) over the usage of video infoboxes, as some people argued it's unnecessarily replicates information one can gleam from the article. However, I think your centered example might solve that as this is ultimately what we can use to replace just pasting the video in Video sections of articles. I think the "Made by" would be useless in 99% of situations (with the very few videos made by other people, such as the Watch and Win one, or the videos by Scarlet). Personally I like your infoboxes, but I'm not sure if everyone else likes it elsewhere.
:Best I'd do is mention this in the [[CWCki:Community_Portal|community portal]]. As I said, I think your centered example might be very useful and a nicer display than just a YouTube video in the video section. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:11, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*This add-on is useless and redundant if you ask me. There's nothing new here you can't read in the introduction of the video, in the video navigation bar and I don't see the need for the "Festive" icons. I respect the efforts but I am a K.I.S.S.-Type of guy. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:02, 3 January 2010 (CET)

==IMPOSTORS==

Hey Champ, this is the "dude" from the old CWCki... somebody claimed my nick in the three hours between Cogs fixing the captcha and me checking back in =( Is there anything we can do about this? I can still log into the old CWCki to prove my TRUTH and HONESTY, and I used the same email signing up here (this account) and there (the old "dude"). --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 05:12, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
*I'll consult with Cogs later tonight, as I'm not sure if we can kick this other "Dude" off and have you have his nickname, especially given that it's an extremely generic name someone could have chosen (like Anonymous or Nobody or some name like that) or if we can do this, if it is right in doing so. Now I am concerned that people might try to leech off the fame of others by signing up for accounts of previous CWCki users, either to jump start their e-fame or as a way of trolling, so I'll need a second opinion. If anyone wants to weigh in on the matter, by all means do so. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:57, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, it's pretty generic, but at the same time, I only signed up around October, so it wasn't generic enough to be taken by then. I am kind of surprised that somebody snapped it up so quickly, since I was pretty actively trying to get it back myself. I suppose it could be innocent, but it's still kind of frustrating. Thanks for looking into it. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 14:52, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
can you give him the account back. i didn't know. i didnt think dude was gona be available, i though i got lucky. didnt mean to steal it, ill make another one [[User:Dude|Dude]] 00:26, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*No problem Dude (see what I did there?). Okay, here's how this will go down - new Dude, when you get a new account, AIM or message me in IRC when you do. I will merge your current account into your new one. That will free up the username "Dude" and old Dude can register that way. rpoblem oslved. If there's any problems, you guys let me know because then I have to resort to Plan B. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:36, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*New [[User:Dude|Dude]] has been [[Special:Contributions/Dude|inactive]] for about a week now... can I get my account back? --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 17:49, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*The new Dude needs to contact me so I can merge his old account into the new one, thus freeing up "Dude." If he doesn't respond in 24 hours or so, then contact me and I'll reset the password and give it over to you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:57, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

== I'll not take this treachery sitting down! ==

You dare claim superiority over my powers as a great and terrifying wizard!? You shall soon see the error of your ways, good sir Champthom. I am a vengeful spellcaster, and I will rape you furiously in your sleep. [[User:Artiph|Artiph the Destroyer, Omniscient Archmage, bearer of the Grimoire of Destruction, whose powers by and large surpass that of the Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 11:03, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

==Sup==
Have a job for me? You told me to get in touch... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 19:38, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
*Well I was going to ask you to help upload images but people got onto that which is good.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:57, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Coolio. On Another note, don't bother restoring my Jerkop status. I don't need it now seeing as how images have a MUCH higher ceiling. I'll stick around to improve articles and help people with images if they need it. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 10:02, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==SPECIAL MISSION==
I accept. Should I simply sign up for an account on Asperpedia and get started or what? --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 09:19, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, do that - sign up for an Asperpedia account and go zap to the extreme. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:17, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

==Just to let you know==

There's a new user who registered under the name ChristianWestonChandler. I am watching this account since it came online. I just don't get a good feeling about this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:00, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

==Apologies==

Thank you for fixing that mistake, that was the first time I added a template so I really am horrible at it. --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 5:05 20 January 2010 (CET)

== Chris's resume ==

Would you please be so kind as to move this to [[Chris's résumé]] for the sake of more accurate spelling, and to satisfy the grammar nazi in me? If you don't know how to make the fancy és, just copy and paste mine. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 04:22, 31 January 2010 (UTC)
*Also, please to be deleting [[Chris and fame]]. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:15, 31 January 2010 (UTC)

== A new Mailbag bombing==
Well, our dear Christian has now started giving a copy paste reply as his new method of rejection. And hes done it to Mike Jackson's widow. We had a quick discussion about that in the talk page, and we thought it'd be an idea for another mailbag thats just filled entirely with letters about this one subject. Like how we had a whole mailbag asking about Asperchu and stuff like that? I thought we could have another of those; Only this time have an entire mailbag of people calling him out for being such a prick and for still not properly ansewing letters. What do you think Champ? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:59, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* To amend that idea, I suggest having Sysop inform him of another pending legal issue that can only be averted if he gives full replies to each email--he can't use the "Inputed" response or delete the whole thing and replace it with a general response or else the site goes down again or something.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:32, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* Agreed. We need some sort of cover from him rejecting it in any way. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:56, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

== [[Politics]] ==

Please to be deleting. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 01:11, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

== Sandy Rosechu ==

Any idea why [[Sandy Rosechu]] is showing up in [[:Category:Templates]]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 22:17, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*Fixed it. The Squote template didn't have noinclude wrapped around its category. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:21, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
**That was my fault. --[[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 22:24, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

== halp ==

Yo [[Scampers|Champers]], could you derete this page here: http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Template:Christory/March_07 ? It will be confus if it doesn't turn up as a red link. Sorry for mistake. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 15:00, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

== YO! ==

Champ old boy, do you have sauce on [[:File:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|this]] here sniplet? It must have slipped right past me, and now I want to know what it is! [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:09, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

==Jerkops Anonymous==

Hey, Champthom. I've been in the mood to move a page or two recently, but my jerkop privileges were abolished with the move to CWCki 2.0. Would you mind reinstating them? [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

== Cole Smithey ==

Don't you think an edit like [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Z_%28film%29&diff=prev&oldid=344566166 this] seems too intentional to be an impostor? Never mind 30+ edits to the Cole Smithey article? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:13, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
==Re: Pic of Wallflower==
Is this ok? It was shopped and It looks less like a man
[[Image:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|right]]

-[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 04:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Posse ==

Champ, I don't know if you still need monitors, but I have no life and lurk on the CWCki pretty much all day. Hit me up if you need me. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:06, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
*NO U. Srsly, contact me on AIM or IRC tonight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:07, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

==Summaries==

Ok, so I will check. I've started trying to sort and format the summaries for each of the Mumbles, and it's March Mumble Madness, but I seem to have contradicted instructions (as I discovered having worked on ALL of them), by listing rather than writing a narrative. What is it you want exactly, so I can get on it ASAP. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:11, 18 March 2010 (UTC)22:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

==Article of the Now==

You wanted some sort of template to denote former articles of the now? [[Template:Articleofthenow|How's this?]] --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:58, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Clyde already made something, just need to incorporate it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:06, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Late to the party again. Never mind --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:23, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== List of Chris' lies ==

Okay, I trust your judgment on this. Wasn't sure if cleanup or deletion was the better solution and it looks like I chose wrong. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Quality Control jerkops ==

Hey, I saw your comment re "Quality Control" jerkops, of which none seem to be active at this point. I think I could handle that. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 21:12, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Champ old boy ==

People want to update [[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series]], could you unlock it for a while? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 09:12, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==
Is it cool for users to make new rewards\userboxes, like the Grammar Nazi and Assburgers ones, for instance? Some wikis I've edited on don't like for you to make new ones due to space or whatnot, and others let you go crazy with it. Just want to check beforehand. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, it's alright, just don't go too crazy by making a kajillion of them. Some of the useboxes, like the Jerkop, Admin, etc. are obviously protected and it's poor taste to award yourself awards like the Order of the Pickle, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

==April Fool's Day==
Since its going to be april fools day when the ultimatum expires why dont we just shut down for 1 day and let chris think he's won.
I mean worst that can happpen is he forgets about us, or the best is that he actually makes a "victory over cwcki" vid.

and then bring it back on the 2nd with a big fuck you chris

user: DKD 15.13 GMT 31.3.10
* No. That's stupid. Chris will make a "HA HA I GOT U TROLLS" video and quit paying attention to us because he thinks we are gone. If we stay up, we will have our own FUCK YOU CHRIS simply because we're not down. This will make Chris angry, and angry Chris is funny.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

*Never compromise, even in the face of <strike>Armageddon</strike> April Fool's Day. Also, in the future, make a sub heading (it's two equal signs, then your text, followed by two equal signs). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

This makes me worry now. What if Chris is pulling a long, convoluted April Fools prank, possibly the idea of a white knight? --[[User:Zehnfragezeichen|Zehnfragezeichen]] 16:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
*Don't be silly. The only White Knight who he listens to is Rocky, and even then, only just barely. And whats the chances that a church counsellor is going to come troll us? I think we're safe. Its almost certain that his plan consists of 'blank pages' and 'try to find and stab the webmaster' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

How bout we say that both bob and snorlax are dead, and put 14 Branchland Court up for sale? {{unsigned|Dan Dash}}

*Please, for the love of God, sign your comments. It's four tildas (~) in a row. I'm tempted to start banning people (albeit temporarily) for those who can't learn how to sign their fucking posts. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

:*Champ's got the rage. Dan, would that actually get to Chris? Seems to me it wouldn't bother him that much. Also seems he's making himself trollproof by becoming detached from us. Thoughts? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 23:04, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
:**He's not trollproofing himself at all, he's just fighting the urge to go online and complain about things. This is exactly like when we got him to make the comic--he was really diligent about it and when he missed a day he usually made up by posting two comics on the next. Flash forward two months and he's only releasing it in short bursts. He'll be back on his own in that time--less if he thinks Sonichu is being threatened. I suggest that someone put up an ad on CWCipedia that states that Chris has declared all Asperpedia comics cannon within the Sonichuverse. Or something about how Chris risks losing the "copyright" if he doesn't make visible use of it for more than two months.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:14, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

::*I'm not sure, he didn't even seem too angry when he discovered the Cwcipedia was devastated (now THAT would've been an April Fool's Day joke). Could it be that he's becoming numb to it? We've done almost everything we can to slander him, his family, and Sonichu. We've set up "sweethearts" toyed with him and, albeit inadvertently, brought about the end of his last IRL gal-pal. We sent the health department to his house, without effect, and have parodied Sonichu and Chris himself. What else CAN we do to this guy? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:17, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::**We didn't call the health department on him and he never learns from his mistakes. We do it again and again. He's not getting desensitized at all, actually. We know most of his buttons now, we've just got to know when to push them. Oh, and every now and then Chris will do something to troll himself, and that's always worth a laugh.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:27, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::*** But it's getting kind of cyclical, Chris gets a new sweetheart, he get's in love mood, phone calls are leaked, get lulzy videos and then, someone manages to anger him, he spews some death threats, then the sweetheart leaves/reveals as troll/dies and then we have sulk Chris, then he completely forgets about it and we have the smug Chris, and in between all that he makes a rant video once in a while. Pretty much we have seen everything chris has to offer for trolling.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:26, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==General question==
Alright so Im a massive newfag here, and I'm wondering how do I create those tags on your pages? For example the eurofag and amerifag stuff. Can I create my own and upload them onto my user page?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)DKD 00:54 GMT 01.04.10
Templates.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 03:20, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

== "Contact me ASAP" ==

What's going on? --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 03:59, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*Contact me privately. My info is on my use page, we can't discuss this openly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:25, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*I've tried to contact you through AIM before, but because I'm a cheapskate who can't use Windows software, I suspect AIM didn't work too well on my end. I'm now in IRC too. I hope this works better. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:36, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==CWC superstar==
Which Chris video did you get mentioned in?

[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 12:55, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*[[Bunny Hop|PYONG PYONG PYONG! HOPPY EASTER FOR]] [[Crass and Champ|CRASS AND '''CHAMP''']]. Technically he's referring to the crab named after me, so there should be an asterisk. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

==Artist for hire==

I would be pleased to help by uploading pictures on the CWCki. The problem is that I don't know where to start. There was a page with the needing drawings but it wasn't updated in quite a while.
I talked to Cogsdev on the irc #sonichu and was referred to you. I'm not new to the Cwcki, but I only registered only today.
Here's an example of what I can do, if it's good enough:
http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Sonee_2.jpg --[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 23:10, 13 april 2010

*I'd say that the [[Artist Commune]] for requested images is still current, so you can still try there. I'd say that the [[Mumble]] chats could use illustrations, mostly of illustrations to go with notable quotes from the chat.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:29, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's a pic for the IRC(16 october 2008) with 2 notable quotes from it. Since I'm not sure how to add it in a good way, I'll leave it to you.

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(16_October_2008).jpg

I hope it's good enough, I kinda messed up the pedo-glasse since it was done from memory.
Also, how can I link my signature to my userpage?--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 13:44, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's another one, this time for the IRC (20 January 2009).

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(20_January_2009).jpg

I tried doing the pedo glasses right this time. I'll leave this to you. Also, thanks for the edit Beat.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 22:58, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription Category ==

What are your views on a category for all articles containing transcriptions? It would make them easier to locate for maintenance or general interest IMO. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:42, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

== Question About Templates ==

Hey, I recently uploaded the 4 templates [[Template:Observer|Observer]], [[Template:Warrior|Warrior]], [[Template:Hero|Hero]], and [[Template:Legend|Legend]]. I was wondering what I should do with them( I'm not the best at using Wikis). Should I move them somewhere, edit them, etc.? Also, since you deleted two of the category pages, I was wondering if I should restore those or delete the other two. Sorry if there are any problems. --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 03:10, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

:Oh, also, just wanted to tell ya that I restored the two category pages for now (now all 4 are up instead of just 2/4). If you want me to change/move anything, I'll gladly do it. Just tell me what to do and I'll get it done. : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 06:14, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

== Old Cats ==

As part of a revamp of userboxes and their categories, there's a lot of now [[Special:UnusedCategories|unused categories prefixed with "List of"]] that need to be deleted forever. Can you fix? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:16, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:There's a few more List of... categories that need nuking. You might have just got hand cramp or something :) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:21, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN ON IT!]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:10, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

== Deletion, moving and er, shit ==

To do with the Twitter stuff. I remember you saying something about Jerkop powers not extending to moving/deletion. Can I? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:55, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

On a related note, I made a mistake on an [[Bill Lumburg/Fan:Sonichu 11|article]] I created and I'm trying to move it to my Userspace. Can you help me with this? I don't see a move option anywhere so I'm assuming only admins can do it. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:58, 2 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for taking care of that. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:54, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

== New Performance Style ==

Made this and applied it to a few pages after discussion that in the latest video none of the templates reflected the performance style (unadulterated smugness). Probably should have run it by you before I added it to a load of videos, sorry about that. :(

{{Comeuppance.png|text}}

:The template has been named incorrectly (Should not have the .png). The icon doesn't seem to match the style of the others - most notably the eyes. And I personally still don't think comeuppance is the right name we should give the template, but that's just me. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:02, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

== Video Template ==

So I made a change to the video template last night which inserts a linked version of Chris's name on video templates when someone puts '''|maker= Chris'''. Do you think that since the template is intended for Chris videos, we can just make the maker default to displaying Chris's name and drop the |maker= line for most uses of the template - retaining the option to include it if we need to override it? I need to run this past someone before I start rolling it out.

Oh and I'm considering making the template parameters lowercase, as is common with templates. I could implement a way for the template to accept both while I transition each use of the template to use lowercase. Worth doing? (Some of the parameters are already lowercase - messy!) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:31, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

==#sonichu ban/the stuff I was going to post==

Hey Champ, any word on the issues we discussed? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:16, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for reminding me, I asked canine and he was going to talk to cogs but never heard back. I'll check with her though, though tonight isn't the best night to do it (long story). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Not a problem mate, there's no rush. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Contact me ASAP, just need to clarify something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:43, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

==Quick Question==

Got something to ask you real quick. Will you be on AIM/IRC tomorrow? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:57, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
*Actually I'm gonna be out of town, but I'll be back Monday night.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:48, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Re: Glass vs Glasses ==

Wait what? Pretty sure glasses is what the majority of English speakers use when referring to a single pair of spectacles. It just looks stupid using "glass". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:31, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Uhh...Champ? ==
You deleted the Facial Recognition talk page but not the page itself. Just saying. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:35, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

== A jerkop resignation letter ==

It appears that my furry background is raising a stir in /cwc/, and some people don't want me to post there. It does, however, bring another thing in my mind. I'd ask you to remove my jerkop bit. There's two reasons for this: First, if ''not'' having furries in positions of power helps some of the trolls to sleep better in the night, this course of action would help them. Secondly - and this is a far, far bigger reason - I'm not actually ''using'' the block/delete powers much, and having an account that needlessly has such powers is obviously a computer security risk. I don't think losing those rights would affect me that much as CWCki editor; I'm more concerned about site security and user happiness. Respectfully, --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 16:32, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*I need to discuss this with Cogs first. I appreciate your selfless concern for the site but I'll be damned if /cwc/ tells me or Cogs how to run this site. What you do outside the CWCki is nobody's damn busy, to be honest. You are one of the finest CWCki editors we have, particularly because you have experience editing Wikipedia and I will not let you be intimidated by Internet fucktards at least on the CWCki. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:40, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
** Understood. I just have to add that this is one of those "last nail in the coffin" type things; like I said, the security issue is, in my opinion, ''far'' more important than the troll reaction. I'm thinking of all that ruckus that was caused by the hacked sysop accounts in Wikipedia a year or two ago. So please, if a policy needs to be made, it should be made on the security grounds, not trolling grounds. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:47, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*** I saw the thread on the /cwc/ you are referring to. In my humble opinion, you shouldn't give them any power over what you do. If you identify with a paticular group on the internet, it's not important. You seem to be an important editor to this fine Wiki, so having a bit of power can't be wrong in your case. The opinions expressed by the "members" of the /cwc" imageboard aren't worth anything on the CWCkie. Also, an hacking attemp on your account seems highly unlikely if you don't let any clues on your password. But it's only my opinion on the matter, it ain't worth all that much.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]]
**** I know. The whole situation in the thread was ridiculous. Me making the teensy bit of a mistake of being a namefag (I knew the pain threshold was low, but ''sheesh''), people spamming the thread with the (admittedly awful) drawings I drew years ago. (Careful readers might know that I ''specifically'' made a promise not to "spread the cancer" here. It applies to /cwc/ as well. But if the /cwc/ people wish to repost the godawful drawings, that's ''their'' headache.) The only real effect the thread has had on me, personally, is that I've tried to objectively evaluate some of the things that actually ''do'' suck: I mopped my user page of the rambling and put it in subpages, replaced some of the drawings on my home page (damn, those were old and awful) and I have to rethink the promotion strategies for my webcomic, since that is obviously not working. I still stand by the security concerns, but if Champ and Cogs don't think it's an issue, then I promise to not use the block/delete tools for anything heinous, as was the case before. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:02, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trouble in Asperpedia ==

I've just gotten confirmation that the recent confusion in Asperpedia is being caused by vandals [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=User_talk:IsabelMonday#HI_GOD_MORNING]. Now I know you've got no power over at Asperpedia, but if they've taken the admin accounts there's nothing they can really do, and I was hoping you might have connections with someone who could help take the site back. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:02, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mao is a [[Wikipedia:trickster|trickster]], beware of his cunning. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:03, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
**Well if it's a trick, its still pissing me off. I just made a project proposal to him and he answers by deleting all the fan content. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Have you considered the possibility he is TROLLING YOU BACK? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:07, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Not if he was destroying everyone else's fan content. That's just too extreme for trolling one person. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::* Admins can undelete deleted content so it could be an elaborate troll. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:35, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::* I'm aware of that, in fact my first thought was that Mao was taking a piss all over me, until I saw he was deleting the entire fan portal and not just my content. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Wait, your telling me that this is the actual Mao doing this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:01, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
As Champ said, you cannot rule that possibility out knowing Mao's traits. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:04, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, but I never thought Mao would do something like this. This is extreme even for him. And he's deleting Asperchu too. And he's talking about /b/ and people's passwords. And the toher admins are acting like that too. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:06, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::* He set his password to '''password''' (no, seriously) and some asshat got in his account. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:47, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::** *Facepalm* --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
{{quote|That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! It's like what a moron would set on his luggage!|<s>Mel Brooks</s> Rick Moranis couldn't have said it any better.}}

==Talk pages==

I think we should start looking at temporary bans for user who continue to use article talk pages for personal discussion. It's out of control. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:19, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

* He edited his page to change someone's comment to something compromising. When I called him out on it, he did that to me too, and then faked my signature on another compromising comment. Then again, I "had it coming" as you said. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 03:24, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
*I don't like being involved in others peoples' problems but Delabonte is abusing his power while being hypocritical. look at the history in his talk page.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:50, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Delabonte is neither a jerkop or admin, he has no real powers aside from being here for a while. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*I don't like it either. Not that I disapprove of the Not a Forum template--those are prefectly justified on any non-user talk page. There's usually a thread over on the appropriate channels anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal. I just don't understand why it should apply to user talk pages.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:04, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:I was talking about '''article''' talk pages, not '''user''' talk pages, but out of respect for 16BitAlex I have removed the offending article from the talk page and put it on my userpage. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 04:05, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::Partly my fault for not reading fully. But, if it was truly out of respect you would have removed the "offending article". You are right on Not A Forum for ''article'' talk pages. If only there was a forum that CWCki users could use. In fact, there ''was'', until the powers that be at a certain private forum thought that a public forum was a bad idea. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 04:22, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::when i said abusing your power i didn't mean the "NOT a forum thing". i understand my mistake regarding that. what i meant was the editing anonymax's and 16alex's comments on your usertalk after you told alex he could not delete the vandalism from his userpage.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:40, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:*Dudes, there's still [[Krapple|/cwc/]] and [[EDF]] (if you're totally desperate). Fuck, you can make your own forum, just don't go about declaring how you're gonna rip stuff off from PVCC or try to overtake PVCC. Fuck, hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] and they'll let you in PVCC if you're not a faggot. Point is, CWCki isn't the place for this sort of talk - it's distracting and there's better places to do this.
::I mildly tolerate it since once people get warned, they (usually) tend to start and it's hard to keep track of repeat offenders. I think I've temporarily banned someone who was a repeat offender once but as I said, it's hard to keep track of people who do that sort of shit over again.
::I really haven't seen this as a huge problem on article talk pages, and in the past I have threatened bans for trivial discussing that was getting out of control but for one or two people commenting I can sorta deal with. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

Champ, I think you should look into Delabonte again. I tried warning him about not starting a flame war, but he just started vandalizing other people's comments on his talk page. This kind of behavior isn't tolerated here. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 13:08, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
*Cogs has spoken to me, the issue has been resolved. As usual, in her favour. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 14:47, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

==I just counted==
For some reason, I'm doing this lately. You have, as of this writing, made 8925 edits to the CWCki, based on your contributions page. No joke. Thought you ought to know. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:29, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
*1) that's because I'm an admin, 2) most of my admins are me failing to preview and tiny shit 3) mostly talk page edits. Fun fact - my user page is the most linked page on CWCki because I comment on like every talk page. But yeah, I spend way too much time here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:32, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Yo ==
Champ! Do us all a favour and ban JESUS would you? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== You said to direct questions to you. So... ==
How in the fuck is that Coffee Place article a confirmed CWC sighting? Where in that photo is Chris or Bob, because I can't see shit? What does any of the text have to do with Chris or any sighting of any kind for that matter? Why does Clyde believe it's a confirmed CWC sighting? What evidence have we got? And why are you and Clyde so certain that this user's word alone can be trusted to the point of threatening bans for questioning them, when they haven't really given us any real proof of anything?

I really, really, REALLY hope that i'm just retarded and missing something obvious, because this makes NO sense to me whatsoever. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:03, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:shut the fuck up edward [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*To clarify, I'll be glad to address any questions on a one-on-one basis in IRC or via AIM.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:07, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**I've also got a question I need to ask you in IRC.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can't use IRC. My computer fucks up whenever I try, and believe me I have tried. Why am I never allowed an actual answer when I ask a question? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 12:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*You are thicker than liquid cement, Edward. Email me at origins.intervention@null.net so I can enlighten you. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*It's not sending. I keep trying to send a message and I keep getting a notification email telling me that they couldn't send it for some reason. Are you sure that's the right email address? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:30, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**Can I cover this, Champ?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:52, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Go ahead, or Jump is sure to enlighten you as well, Edward.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:58, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
***Try my alterate, the.new.chemical@gmail.com --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:I did actually maange to get a message through to Jump's alternate account. I'm waiting for his response right now. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:00, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:Everything's sorted now. Thanks again Jump. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:54, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== irc ==

<s>Yo, Champ, I'm trying to join #sonichu but I get a message that says the hostname could not be resolved, and when I do get in, it says I have to identify a registered name. I'm using Mibbit and I already have an account there, and whenever I use the link at our Mibbit article, there's no one on. What am I doing wrong? Sorry for being a total newfag.</s> nevermind, sorry for annoying you-[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 17:08, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

==Ban me==

I'm evading a permaban. Jesus Christ. Do your fucking job, sandnigger.--[[User:JerryMathers|JerryMathers]] 00:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

== We need some clarification ==

On the community portal you said "do not interfere with Jenkins" which I simply took to mean "do not fuck with him" or "let him work on his report unimpeded." Delabonte, on the other hand, claims you meant zero communication and is putting up some userbox on everyone's page who posted on his talk page. All I did was point him to he userbox list after someone suggested it to him. Could you please clarify for everyone's sake what you specifically meant?

Also, I think the 'fuckwit alert' box is unwarranted; seriously, why would the PVCC care about a harmless mistake, let alone monitor such 'criminals'? And if I really had broken your rule, me and the other users would have been banned by now, wouldn't we? Some of those comments had already been put up for days without incident. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*I took it to mean "Don't do anything that doesn't appear to be approved". I followed that to the letter and I intend to follow the proper instructions now that I've been notified. However, I think the userbox was an overreaction.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:16, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

I think your userboxes are very fitting and you wear them well. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 05:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*As we want Jenkins to keep up the good work, the idea is more of the former - to not hinder his work, i.e. not to post too many praises on his talk page. I'm not sure what's been going on as I've been out the past two days or so, but I'm guessing people may have lost control and completely praised Jenkins, especially for getting a seinor cheerleader. I can understand where Delabonte is coming from but srsly, don't be a dumbass when it comes to this sort of thing.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:25, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

==Regarding the 'Relics of fail' items.==
Right now, out of 26 different relics, a total of 10 of them have the suffix "of fail". I think that the 'of fail' tag on the end of many of the items is a bit stale. Not only does it make them all seem generic and without personality, but 'of fail' just seems kind of juvenile. I'd like to start a vote to change the majority of the names to give them more flair, so they stand out more. Talked about it in IRC a few nights ago, and the consensus seemed to agree. One of the names thrown around was to change "Plush Boobs of Fail" into something along the lines of "Plush Boobs of Repressed Sexuality." Give them names that indicate their use, descriptors that tell you about the item before you even read about it. "Pokewalker of Sloth" or "Pokewalker of Inactivity". Even if the 'of fail' tag is supposed to indicate that Chris created it himself, there's no reason for the Plush Boobs and Sailor Moon Poster to have it included. Let me know what you think. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 06:55, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with Brofose. Fail has become a bit of a lame old meme, and while it is one of the most apt words to describe anything about CWC, I believe the Relics would do well to be assigned new titles. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 07:08, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't really mind the "of fail" but I wouldn't miss it either.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 12:30, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this sounds like a pretty good idea. Perhaps we should consider some kind of formal way to do this. Like, we could have something in the community portal for users to suggest new suffixes, then from those like 5 favorites are picked out and a poll is taken for the new suffix. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 22:00, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Thanks ==

Thanks for pointing that out. Also, I'd like to talk to you about something regarding some recent edits. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Welcome Template ==

The welcome template no longer requires any parameters - but it works better if substituted. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:05, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

== My jerkop status ==

A week ago, Cogs temporarily removed my jerkop status (for deleting [[Template:UnderWatch|this]] template), but said I could ask you to give it back to me after a week or so [[User_talk:Cogsdev#About_deleting_that_template|here]]. So now I'm just asking you if I can have it back, please.--[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 17:55, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

==SIR==
I have been away for a while. I have come back to be a serious editor again. I was looking through the to-do list with every intent of starting to crack down on transcribing Mumbles... then I saw an interesting tidbit. It still says that images should be limited to 150kb. Is this truly the case? Because the upload screen says keep it to 7mb. If 150kb is really the case, then perhaps I should go on another resize campaign. I am up for it, I have time. I am asking you sir, if this is where I should focus my efforts. Tell me and I will get started right away. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 14:05, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
*The 150 kb thing isn't so much important nowadays since we have the new space and space isn't quite as limited, not to mention people are doing a good job at not uploading huge ass images. Transcribing Mumble chats would probably be a more worthwhile and rewarding en devour though, IMHO. Godspeed to you.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:56, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Roger that, I'm on it... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 18:16, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sonichu TAS transcripts ==

Would it be alright to upload transcripts from the animated Sonichu series? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 19:29, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-08-04T02:18:37Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Scripts for Sonichu TAS */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

==Hey people, how about those Mumble chats?==
I've started a "10 minutes at a time" project to finish transcribing mumbles. Transcribing sucks, but 10 minutes in one go can relieve the strain on the people transcribing. Especially since if we get 10 or more people on board, transcribing a Mumble can be finished in the space of a couple of days instead of one person over the course of 10 days. I have a couple of people on board, but it would be nice to have several more. For the specifics of how it works, go to my [[User:Fuckingstupid|user page]]. [[Mumble_7|The Mumble chat we are currently tackling is #7]]. It would be nice if anyone who has a couple spare hours a day to transcribe a simple 10 minutes. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:25, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Love Suggestion? ==
I was thinking we should add a new article on the "Chris and...." series. Perhaps "Romance"? Maybe give an insight on his idea of being romantic. I feel we could write good article on this. There's a shit load of cheesy awkward sayings. Also,an observation on his behavior on dates with trolls could be good. Just a thought. --[[User:Bealtespip122]]

* Not a bad idea. Because Chris has blurred the line between romance and sex. With him, it's one in the same. Would be interesting to poke at I think. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Aye, "romance" to him is just a means to an end. He sees act of dating as not about two people enjoying each others company, it's just to test compatibility so they can eventually fuck. Anything beyond that is just a ruse to keep the woman interested. I can't imagine him having a sincere desire to have an emotional connection with another human being, he just wants to be coddled and pleased. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:10, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*[[Love quest]] more or less seems to cover this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*I'd say the Love Quest really covers his attempts at "reelin' in da ladiez" and being thwarted by outside forces. Not so much as a personal insight into what Chris thinks is romantic or sweet. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 16:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
** Rather than being covered by the love quest page, it's just mentioned; same treatment for [[Chris and sex]]. The events of the Megan, Ivy, and Wallflower sagas tell a lot about his view of romance. Can't forget the essential McDonald's date either. Without some good writing, though, it might not make the best article. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:35, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*well he wanted to make " Date Education" apart from sex education, i think a chris and romance, detailing what he thinks is romance would be a nice add to the cwcki.---[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:13, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Fridays After Five yet again ==

This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*Good work. Mind getting some pictures next time? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:28, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
**If I get to Charlottesville again when it's going on, I'll see what I can do. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:53, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::*No pressure. It's your prerogative. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:59, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* If you're some tard trying to get attention, fuck you, die. I have to put that disclaimer in nowadays, nothing personal. If you're being TRUE and HONEST, thank you so much for reporting this, because Chris holding something that says "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" would be the most unintentionally hilarious thing that has ever happened. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:33, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Oh no, this is very real. I have another person confirming the hula hoop thing. The man zone thing is what confirms it. Yeah. It's pretty damn retarded. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:30, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Holy shit, I'm just trying to help out during a dry spell and I'm even willing to try going back and get pics, and your reaction is "fuck you, die"? May I also point out that this very site has a giant banner across the top of the main page making in very clear that they want all sightings reported? What on earth is wrong with you? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 14:12, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well, I say thanks for your assistance. Clyde confirms what is obviously good intel. Pics are nice, but hey. Nice find anyhow. Keep up the great work. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:01, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Since we have confirmation, I guess I'll add this as a sighting to the Fridays after five article. Thanks a bunch Camelopardalis.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:16, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Thanks, guys. To answer some of the "What, no pictures?!" sentiment, I went there to listen to some music and didn't really expect to see anything photo-worthy. These are local bands that usually play in bars and so on. Lots of people didn't bring cameras, especially as the band was a country-bluegrass bunch, not exactly Lady Gaga. I'll definitely have a camera along next time, just in case. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 01:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Oh, and I think I can explain the hula hoop. If you look at the pictures of Chris at FAF on July 9, the wide shots taken from inside the seats area, not the close-up one on CWCki, there's two young girls and apparently their moms using hula hoops right behind him. I know the general opinion is Chris isn't a pedo, but all it takes is some basic logic that he observed little girls hula hooping at FAF and then brought one the next week himself. Not that creepy behavior is anything new for Chris but following up the kid-photographing incident with this? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 02:09, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== "fan works purge", including TV Tropes even here ==

[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Special:Log/delete Partying like it's 1937] makes me kinda sad. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
* Meh. That Tropes "article" was one of the biggest crimes in CWCki history, and the Charles Wilbur Crushman thing was the first online item I've come across that was such a steaming pile of shit I could actually smell it. The rest I have no comment on, but there was so much selfsucking garbage on here that it justified a deletion policy, and it probably justified said deletion as well. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:48, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::Crimes against the people, I guess. Goodbye [http://www.youropinionsarewrong.com/images/random/stalin-airbrush.jpg Comrade T.V. Tropes], hardly we knew ye. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

:::The whole fan works section was a mistake in the first place. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:34, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::Counter-revolutionary nest that sabotages and opposes the creative work of the people. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:39, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::: shut up, you face [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

The fan-works thing started out as a few fun little comics and stories that where just basically bored people fucking around and satirizing Chris' shit. Then people started taking it seriously, or trying to become e-famous, or just generally being self important and retarded. The good "fan-works" can be archived and stored elsewhere, because unless it's specifically relevant to Chris or a Chris event it really doesn't belong here.

More importantly, most of the fan-works sucked metric ass, and it was bringing in a massive collection of morons that where really starting to fag up the place. Personally, I think the "fan-works purge" is the best thing to happen to the CWCki in a long time.

== this community portal split idea was retarded ==
a very good post by clydec age 9 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SPLIT, BRO.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:00, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

== Look what I did ==

I made a couple of userboxes. Use them, disdain/ridicule them, or improve them as you see fit.

—Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] ([[User talk:SeventhBase|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/SeventhBase|contribs]]) 
:Nice work - just enhancing your template links and signing your posts. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:20, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: no these are stupid [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::More userboxes are not really what we need right now. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:30, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== new idea for speculation ==
speculation runs high. split that up into multiple pages or something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and relationships==
Just a short idea: There are several categories regarding Chris relationships, aquaintances (for example [[Galpals|Galpals]] "Males Chris doesn't hate") orjust general people he interacted with. I think it might be beneficial to have a kind of overview regarding what people he interacted with in what timeline. Could also be linked under "friends" etc. in order to illustrate the extent of his growing social isolation and successive personal development. -- [[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:22, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== July 23 Fridays After Five ==

I was at FAF this weekend, didn't stay for the whole thing, I was gone by about 7:30 or so but as far as I could tell Chris wasn't there. Actually the whole thing was pretty dead compared to the usual turnout, especially the lawn area which was almost empty. Heat index was something like 110, so I can't blame him for staying home, unless the reason was that Chris feels he's too heavily monitored at FAF these days. I did remember one more thing about Chris at FAF last week though, he had on dark wraparound sunglasses on... UNDER his regular eyeglasses. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 22:25, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
:I guess that confirms his shades aren't prescription. Makes sense, he chose the cheapest frames available for his glasses, why would be spend the money for something expensive like prescription sunglasses? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:28, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

==Modnation Levels==
I don't suppose anybody's actually played any of Chris's levels or anything?

It's completely understandable if nobody wants to play them, given that it's Chris, I'm sure they're all garbage, but currently all we have on his modnation efforts are a bunch of tiny screencaps I took from the website. We covered all of his LBP nonsense in detail, it's kinda weird that nobody's even tried to look into his tracks.

Any intrepid PS3 owners wanna step up?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:30, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone else has suggested it already, but I've got a feeling that one of the best ways to reach (and troll) Chris right now is through ModNation, considering he probably spends most of his time there. Just track him down, join him in a game, "befriend" and chat with him... then beat him silly on his own levels and expect lulz. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 06:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure everyone would appreciate good let's-play videos of the ModNation levels (along the lines of the LBP owl level preview video). Does ModNation allow recording/playing back online matches? Dramatic replays and dreadful overanalysis of Chris's online games would be terribly appreciated. I mean, I don't watch motorsports, but microsecond-by-microsecond commentary on clumsy moves just might be worth watching. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:35, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Just a question==
Not sure it this is the right place to ask or talk about a question or if this is old news but forgive me if I am wrong about anything, but may I ask whats the deal with the Cwiki and /cwc/ fighting and every thing can't find anything about whats going?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 15:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*As far as I'm aware, there isn't anything. If you're talking about Delebonte being a fag and making a shittalk template, that doesn't have to do with /cwc/. /cwc/, as I see it, is a place where people go to talk about Chris. It's the watercooler where everyone goes to provide their own theories without threat of retribution. Cwcki is a place where facts are documented and presented. They don't really conflict, and /cwc/ doesn't really seem to be vandalising this site or anything, so I guess you just have bad information. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
Ok thanks, what I got was something about something about legi0n or who ever being mad about furrys being on the cwciki and users being blacklisted by someone but idk, I can't look a the thread right now because when ever i got to the /cwc/ I keep getting the message saying "Website Disabled". but anyway thanks for clearing this up a little for me.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 16:02, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can probably explain that one. People on /cwc/ follow most of the same "rules" as other imageboards (e.g. 4chan, 7chan, etc.) and as such tend to ban furries and stuff because they spam their boards with fetish porn. On the CWCki, this isn't an issue, and so we have a more lax set of rules. For people who don't understand the difference between the two systems, they might be led to believe that we are a furry site, when in fact we are just tolerant. I wouldn't worry about it too much. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:10, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Old News (Possible Bulbapedia incident)==

Hey, newfag here. On Bulbapedia, there was apparently a small battle over whether or not to make Sonichu as a page, with Chris (obviously) being the sole supporter. A user posted quotes from their supposed discussion here: http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/blog.php?b=15577 Considering said user had no idea who Sonichu was at the time of this discussion, or shortly before I told him a few hours earlier, I'm betting money it actually happened. Thing is, this happened in August of last year, so where should it go? - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 12:47, 30 July 2010 (EST)
:(Are you Brazilian/Portuguese by any chance?) I can't really confirm it's him. The use of "OVER 9" (like that stupid meme), incorrect use of "Your" (he's stupid, but that's not one of his quirks), NOT censoring the F-word with asterisks, as well as calling you a troll outright (though I wouldn't put it past him, frankly) and declaring the "reality" of Sonichu out in the open (he does probably believe this, but he would only insinuate it)... These are rather consistent with a copycat troll than the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan. But if we DO get a confirmation, it should go in its own article, along with a Da Update showing that new information was unearthed.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, I was born in the Philippines, grew up in America. But anyway, I doubt we'll get any sort of confirmation, Chris has most likely long forgotten about this. I suppose I can ask if any of the conversation is left, but I don't think it'll prove anything. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:10, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Well, this is the only other edit he made. "I would like you to know that Sonichu is a REAL Pokemon. I know, because I have over 9 years of canon from him and his world, and have been in talks with Nintendo to put Sonichu and Rosechu into animal crossing, and have been in talk with Sega to make a Sonichu video game. Please consider this. Thank you. I will dare to keep my dreams alive." Hmm. Yeah, from the looks of it, it appears it was nothing more than a poser. I doubt even Chris would say something like that. Of course, I'm a newfag so make of it what you will. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Chris wouldn't mention the talks with Nintendo after finding out the people behind that were trolls. Too much wounded pride.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 11:44, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
***Well, the talks with Nintendo and Sega were mentioned at 02:33, 24 August 2009 (UTC), and all the discussion in the blog started about two minutes afterward, with Chris replying at 02:58. There's also a little bit of discussion above the Sonichu topic on his user talk page, but he didn't respond to that. Here's the link to his User Talk page: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:CWCSonichuChandler, and here's the link to the other bit Chris supposedly said.: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:Evkl#Re:_Fake_Pages - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 10:56, 30 July 2010 (EST)

== Why are some people so eager to ban Chris everywhere on the Internet? ==

Including the people here on CWCki? Where's the fun in Chris crashing into PS3 slumber again? Damn, I wish Chris was allowed back to deviantART :( --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:10, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

More to the point, is there an official policy regarding stupid ass bullshit like "[[CWCipedia]] states that Chris may or may not create another account. Be sure to tip off the dA admins if he will return."? I think there should be.
*Overenthusiastic nobodies eager to 'stick it' to Chris and be the #1 trolin genious lolololo. It's quite irritating, and seems as if they have zero forethought. And I can only see this problem getting worse as time goes on and Chris becomes more mainstream. Feels bad man. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:46, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris is known to act out a lot, and on deviantART, acting out is considered trolling and it will get you banned. Also the fact that nobody wants him around. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 15:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

The same reason he gets banned from places IRL. --[[User:MoarDesu|MoarDesu]] 02:24, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

More times often than not, Chris does a good job of getting himself banned, better than the trolls at times: for example, his continued uploading of NSFW material to [[Flipnote Hatena]] damned him more than trolls could. The problem with Chris is his un realistic expectation that he is exempt to normal rules, an expectation that will continue to bite him in the ass. [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:47, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Chris's handwriting ==

Does anyone have a slightly recent example of Chris's handwriting? I just read a book on analyzing handwriting for character traits, and I want to see what I can pick out of him. Don't worry, I'll write the summary on my user page. I just need a sample. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 16:41, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:[[Chris's Letter to Blanca|2008 should be recent enough]] --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:48, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:: OK thank you. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:32, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:::The [[List of Flipnotes|Flipnotes]] should be the most recent example. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:26, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
::::The problem with those though is that they don't show pressure of his writing.

Anyways, I finished. [[User:GandWuser|Read it on my Userpage.]] --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 18:34, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

== Scripts for Sonichu TAS ==

Would it be fine to add scripts from the Sonichu Animated Series to the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:40, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
:The page is locked, so you'd have to ask an admin. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 11:46, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
::Who are the admins on the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 19:18, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-08-03T18:47:30Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Why are some people so eager to ban Chris everywhere on the Internet? */

CWCki:General

2010-08-03T18:40:01Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Scripts for Sonichu TAS */ new section

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

==Hey people, how about those Mumble chats?==
I've started a "10 minutes at a time" project to finish transcribing mumbles. Transcribing sucks, but 10 minutes in one go can relieve the strain on the people transcribing. Especially since if we get 10 or more people on board, transcribing a Mumble can be finished in the space of a couple of days instead of one person over the course of 10 days. I have a couple of people on board, but it would be nice to have several more. For the specifics of how it works, go to my [[User:Fuckingstupid|user page]]. [[Mumble_7|The Mumble chat we are currently tackling is #7]]. It would be nice if anyone who has a couple spare hours a day to transcribe a simple 10 minutes. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:25, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Love Suggestion? ==
I was thinking we should add a new article on the "Chris and...." series. Perhaps "Romance"? Maybe give an insight on his idea of being romantic. I feel we could write good article on this. There's a shit load of cheesy awkward sayings. Also,an observation on his behavior on dates with trolls could be good. Just a thought. --[[User:Bealtespip122]]

* Not a bad idea. Because Chris has blurred the line between romance and sex. With him, it's one in the same. Would be interesting to poke at I think. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Aye, "romance" to him is just a means to an end. He sees act of dating as not about two people enjoying each others company, it's just to test compatibility so they can eventually fuck. Anything beyond that is just a ruse to keep the woman interested. I can't imagine him having a sincere desire to have an emotional connection with another human being, he just wants to be coddled and pleased. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:10, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*[[Love quest]] more or less seems to cover this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*I'd say the Love Quest really covers his attempts at "reelin' in da ladiez" and being thwarted by outside forces. Not so much as a personal insight into what Chris thinks is romantic or sweet. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 16:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
** Rather than being covered by the love quest page, it's just mentioned; same treatment for [[Chris and sex]]. The events of the Megan, Ivy, and Wallflower sagas tell a lot about his view of romance. Can't forget the essential McDonald's date either. Without some good writing, though, it might not make the best article. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:35, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*well he wanted to make " Date Education" apart from sex education, i think a chris and romance, detailing what he thinks is romance would be a nice add to the cwcki.---[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:13, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Fridays After Five yet again ==

This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*Good work. Mind getting some pictures next time? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:28, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
**If I get to Charlottesville again when it's going on, I'll see what I can do. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:53, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::*No pressure. It's your prerogative. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:59, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* If you're some tard trying to get attention, fuck you, die. I have to put that disclaimer in nowadays, nothing personal. If you're being TRUE and HONEST, thank you so much for reporting this, because Chris holding something that says "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" would be the most unintentionally hilarious thing that has ever happened. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:33, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Oh no, this is very real. I have another person confirming the hula hoop thing. The man zone thing is what confirms it. Yeah. It's pretty damn retarded. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:30, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Holy shit, I'm just trying to help out during a dry spell and I'm even willing to try going back and get pics, and your reaction is "fuck you, die"? May I also point out that this very site has a giant banner across the top of the main page making in very clear that they want all sightings reported? What on earth is wrong with you? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 14:12, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well, I say thanks for your assistance. Clyde confirms what is obviously good intel. Pics are nice, but hey. Nice find anyhow. Keep up the great work. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:01, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Since we have confirmation, I guess I'll add this as a sighting to the Fridays after five article. Thanks a bunch Camelopardalis.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:16, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Thanks, guys. To answer some of the "What, no pictures?!" sentiment, I went there to listen to some music and didn't really expect to see anything photo-worthy. These are local bands that usually play in bars and so on. Lots of people didn't bring cameras, especially as the band was a country-bluegrass bunch, not exactly Lady Gaga. I'll definitely have a camera along next time, just in case. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 01:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Oh, and I think I can explain the hula hoop. If you look at the pictures of Chris at FAF on July 9, the wide shots taken from inside the seats area, not the close-up one on CWCki, there's two young girls and apparently their moms using hula hoops right behind him. I know the general opinion is Chris isn't a pedo, but all it takes is some basic logic that he observed little girls hula hooping at FAF and then brought one the next week himself. Not that creepy behavior is anything new for Chris but following up the kid-photographing incident with this? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 02:09, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== "fan works purge", including TV Tropes even here ==

[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Special:Log/delete Partying like it's 1937] makes me kinda sad. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
* Meh. That Tropes "article" was one of the biggest crimes in CWCki history, and the Charles Wilbur Crushman thing was the first online item I've come across that was such a steaming pile of shit I could actually smell it. The rest I have no comment on, but there was so much selfsucking garbage on here that it justified a deletion policy, and it probably justified said deletion as well. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:48, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::Crimes against the people, I guess. Goodbye [http://www.youropinionsarewrong.com/images/random/stalin-airbrush.jpg Comrade T.V. Tropes], hardly we knew ye. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

:::The whole fan works section was a mistake in the first place. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:34, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::Counter-revolutionary nest that sabotages and opposes the creative work of the people. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:39, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::: shut up, you face [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

The fan-works thing started out as a few fun little comics and stories that where just basically bored people fucking around and satirizing Chris' shit. Then people started taking it seriously, or trying to become e-famous, or just generally being self important and retarded. The good "fan-works" can be archived and stored elsewhere, because unless it's specifically relevant to Chris or a Chris event it really doesn't belong here.

More importantly, most of the fan-works sucked metric ass, and it was bringing in a massive collection of morons that where really starting to fag up the place. Personally, I think the "fan-works purge" is the best thing to happen to the CWCki in a long time.

== this community portal split idea was retarded ==
a very good post by clydec age 9 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SPLIT, BRO.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:00, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

== Look what I did ==

I made a couple of userboxes. Use them, disdain/ridicule them, or improve them as you see fit.

—Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] ([[User talk:SeventhBase|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/SeventhBase|contribs]]) 
:Nice work - just enhancing your template links and signing your posts. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:20, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: no these are stupid [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::More userboxes are not really what we need right now. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:30, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== new idea for speculation ==
speculation runs high. split that up into multiple pages or something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and relationships==
Just a short idea: There are several categories regarding Chris relationships, aquaintances (for example [[Galpals|Galpals]] "Males Chris doesn't hate") orjust general people he interacted with. I think it might be beneficial to have a kind of overview regarding what people he interacted with in what timeline. Could also be linked under "friends" etc. in order to illustrate the extent of his growing social isolation and successive personal development. -- [[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:22, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== July 23 Fridays After Five ==

I was at FAF this weekend, didn't stay for the whole thing, I was gone by about 7:30 or so but as far as I could tell Chris wasn't there. Actually the whole thing was pretty dead compared to the usual turnout, especially the lawn area which was almost empty. Heat index was something like 110, so I can't blame him for staying home, unless the reason was that Chris feels he's too heavily monitored at FAF these days. I did remember one more thing about Chris at FAF last week though, he had on dark wraparound sunglasses on... UNDER his regular eyeglasses. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 22:25, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
:I guess that confirms his shades aren't prescription. Makes sense, he chose the cheapest frames available for his glasses, why would be spend the money for something expensive like prescription sunglasses? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:28, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

==Modnation Levels==
I don't suppose anybody's actually played any of Chris's levels or anything?

It's completely understandable if nobody wants to play them, given that it's Chris, I'm sure they're all garbage, but currently all we have on his modnation efforts are a bunch of tiny screencaps I took from the website. We covered all of his LBP nonsense in detail, it's kinda weird that nobody's even tried to look into his tracks.

Any intrepid PS3 owners wanna step up?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:30, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone else has suggested it already, but I've got a feeling that one of the best ways to reach (and troll) Chris right now is through ModNation, considering he probably spends most of his time there. Just track him down, join him in a game, "befriend" and chat with him... then beat him silly on his own levels and expect lulz. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 06:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure everyone would appreciate good let's-play videos of the ModNation levels (along the lines of the LBP owl level preview video). Does ModNation allow recording/playing back online matches? Dramatic replays and dreadful overanalysis of Chris's online games would be terribly appreciated. I mean, I don't watch motorsports, but microsecond-by-microsecond commentary on clumsy moves just might be worth watching. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:35, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Just a question==
Not sure it this is the right place to ask or talk about a question or if this is old news but forgive me if I am wrong about anything, but may I ask whats the deal with the Cwiki and /cwc/ fighting and every thing can't find anything about whats going?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 15:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*As far as I'm aware, there isn't anything. If you're talking about Delebonte being a fag and making a shittalk template, that doesn't have to do with /cwc/. /cwc/, as I see it, is a place where people go to talk about Chris. It's the watercooler where everyone goes to provide their own theories without threat of retribution. Cwcki is a place where facts are documented and presented. They don't really conflict, and /cwc/ doesn't really seem to be vandalising this site or anything, so I guess you just have bad information. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
Ok thanks, what I got was something about something about legi0n or who ever being mad about furrys being on the cwciki and users being blacklisted by someone but idk, I can't look a the thread right now because when ever i got to the /cwc/ I keep getting the message saying "Website Disabled". but anyway thanks for clearing this up a little for me.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 16:02, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can probably explain that one. People on /cwc/ follow most of the same "rules" as other imageboards (e.g. 4chan, 7chan, etc.) and as such tend to ban furries and stuff because they spam their boards with fetish porn. On the CWCki, this isn't an issue, and so we have a more lax set of rules. For people who don't understand the difference between the two systems, they might be led to believe that we are a furry site, when in fact we are just tolerant. I wouldn't worry about it too much. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:10, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Old News (Possible Bulbapedia incident)==

Hey, newfag here. On Bulbapedia, there was apparently a small battle over whether or not to make Sonichu as a page, with Chris (obviously) being the sole supporter. A user posted quotes from their supposed discussion here: http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/blog.php?b=15577 Considering said user had no idea who Sonichu was at the time of this discussion, or shortly before I told him a few hours earlier, I'm betting money it actually happened. Thing is, this happened in August of last year, so where should it go? - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 12:47, 30 July 2010 (EST)
:(Are you Brazilian/Portuguese by any chance?) I can't really confirm it's him. The use of "OVER 9" (like that stupid meme), incorrect use of "Your" (he's stupid, but that's not one of his quirks), NOT censoring the F-word with asterisks, as well as calling you a troll outright (though I wouldn't put it past him, frankly) and declaring the "reality" of Sonichu out in the open (he does probably believe this, but he would only insinuate it)... These are rather consistent with a copycat troll than the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan. But if we DO get a confirmation, it should go in its own article, along with a Da Update showing that new information was unearthed.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, I was born in the Philippines, grew up in America. But anyway, I doubt we'll get any sort of confirmation, Chris has most likely long forgotten about this. I suppose I can ask if any of the conversation is left, but I don't think it'll prove anything. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:10, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Well, this is the only other edit he made. "I would like you to know that Sonichu is a REAL Pokemon. I know, because I have over 9 years of canon from him and his world, and have been in talks with Nintendo to put Sonichu and Rosechu into animal crossing, and have been in talk with Sega to make a Sonichu video game. Please consider this. Thank you. I will dare to keep my dreams alive." Hmm. Yeah, from the looks of it, it appears it was nothing more than a poser. I doubt even Chris would say something like that. Of course, I'm a newfag so make of it what you will. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Chris wouldn't mention the talks with Nintendo after finding out the people behind that were trolls. Too much wounded pride.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 11:44, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
***Well, the talks with Nintendo and Sega were mentioned at 02:33, 24 August 2009 (UTC), and all the discussion in the blog started about two minutes afterward, with Chris replying at 02:58. There's also a little bit of discussion above the Sonichu topic on his user talk page, but he didn't respond to that. Here's the link to his User Talk page: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:CWCSonichuChandler, and here's the link to the other bit Chris supposedly said.: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:Evkl#Re:_Fake_Pages - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 10:56, 30 July 2010 (EST)

== Why are some people so eager to ban Chris everywhere on the Internet? ==

Including the people here on CWCki? Where's the fun in Chris crashing into PS3 slumber again? Damn, I wish Chris was allowed back to deviantART :( --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:10, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

More to the point, is there an official policy regarding stupid ass bullshit like "[[CWCipedia]] states that Chris may or may not create another account. Be sure to tip off the dA admins if he will return."? I think there should be.
*Overenthusiastic nobodies eager to 'stick it' to Chris and be the #1 trolin genious lolololo. It's quite irritating, and seems as if they have zero forethought. And I can only see this problem getting worse as time goes on and Chris becomes more mainstream. Feels bad man. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:46, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris is known to act out a lot, and on deviantART, acting out is considered trolling and it will get you banned. Also the fact that nobody wants him around. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 15:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

The same reason he gets banned from places IRL. --[[User:MoarDesu|MoarDesu]] 02:24, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's handwriting ==

Does anyone have a slightly recent example of Chris's handwriting? I just read a book on analyzing handwriting for character traits, and I want to see what I can pick out of him. Don't worry, I'll write the summary on my user page. I just need a sample. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 16:41, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:[[Chris's Letter to Blanca|2008 should be recent enough]] --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:48, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:: OK thank you. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:32, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:::The [[List of Flipnotes|Flipnotes]] should be the most recent example. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:26, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
::::The problem with those though is that they don't show pressure of his writing.

Anyways, I finished. [[User:GandWuser|Read it on my Userpage.]] --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 18:34, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

== Scripts for Sonichu TAS ==

Would it be fine to add scripts from the Sonichu Animated Series to the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:40, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

Naïve

2010-07-22T07:38:31Z

CosmicFeeling: /* Ways in which Chris is naïve */

[[Image:Naivewater.png|150px|right]]

{{quote|oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.|Chris on the dreaded word<ref>From a YouTube comment to [[Liquid Chris]] on the [[REAL_Protest_against_the_FAKE#Youtube_comments_from_Chris|REAL Protest against the FAKE]] video.</ref>}}

'''Naïve''' is one of [[Chris]]'s most-used insults. According to Merriam-Webster's English dictionary, the word "naïve" means "deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; especially: credulous"<ref>[http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/naive Merriam-Webster's online entry about "naïve"]</ref>; Chris, however, defines it in his [[The July 10th Messages|July 10th Messages]] as merely "questioning one's intelligence", showing that he only understands the most overly simplified definition of the word. He also refers to it as "the cruelest of words". He often pairs it with "[[autism|retard]]", "[[slow in the mind]]", or one of his many other [[CWC-ism]] insults. Despite this, it is apparently his least favorite word.<ref>From [[Mailbag_21#Chris%27s_favorite_curse_word_is_an_%22F%22_followed_by_3_asterisks|Mailbag 21]].</ref>

Chris has called others ([[Liquid_Chris|largely]] [[Alec_Benson_Leary|trolls]]) "naïve" on many occasions. During the Liquid Saga, he remarked that the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] sounds "[[CCWC%27s_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|about as bad as the word naïve to me now]]". It has never occurred to Chris that assuming that other people find the word "naïve" as offensive as he does is — well — naïve.

The origins of Chris's disdain for this word likely come from occasions when it has been used against him in attempts to give him constructive criticism, such as the [[Vivian Gee E-mails]]. He seems to have twisted its original, relatively polite meaning into the worst insult he can muster. When [[Father Call|Kacey's father]] called him naïve, Chris became enraged, almost to the point of threatening physical violence.

=== Ways in which Chris is naïve ===

* He believes that [[Sonichu]] is a [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|popular internet topic with millions of fans]]. Despite all of the evidence proving that Sonichu has no real fans (only 5,000 or so trolls), he continues to believe in this delusion on the grounds that he is an "[[Mailbag_53|optimist]]."
* He believes that everyone [[Recycling|shares]] [[Death threats|his]] [[Mass Debating|bad]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|habits]].
* He is under the impression that [[Asperger_syndrome|Asperger's]] must be completely different from [[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] due to their different names, despite [[Mailbag_4#Chris_the_close-minded|lacking]] any [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|proof]] to back this belief, or the fact that people who study and research these disorders for a living prove that they are similar.
* He thinks that all [[Homos|gays]] are [[Chris|malicious perverts]] that want to have [[Chris and Health|anal]] [[Chris and Sex|sex]], the same beliefs as the [[Wikipedia:Westboro_Baptist_Church|Westboro Baptist Church]].
* He believes that [[Sonichu_(character)|cartoon characters]] are [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|real, living beings]] that exist in an alternate [[CWCville|world]].<ref>From the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second]] of the [[Alec Benson Leary calls]].</ref>
* He believes that [[Chris_and_Copyright#Copyright_registration|registering "digital drawings"]] with the Library of Congress gives him [[Chris_and_his_ego|complete control]] over [[Fan:Index|anything]] done with [[Sonichu]].<ref>The subject of the video "[[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]."</ref>
* He believes that simply being alive counts as "experience", despite the fact that he never goes out to experience anything.
* He believes that [[Wikipedia:Correlation_implies_causation_(logical_fallacy)|correlation implies causation]]; or, that if he demands something happen (mostly via [[Attention_All_Sonichu_Fans_(NOT_HATERS)|YouTube video]] or his [[Death_threats#Cogsdev|now]]-[[Mailbag_18#In_which_Chris_believes_he_has_magic_powers_(srsly)|abandoned]] [[Cwcipedia|website]]), and - by some miracle - it happens, then his demands must have caused the desired effect. These effects include death or extreme misfortune for people, and downtime or content removal for websites.
* He believes that marijuana is simply a more dangerous [[Tobacky|cigarette]].

==Sauce==
<references />

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]