CWCki - User contributions [en]

Cheerleader

2017-02-16T01:45:18Z

Crabcmdo:

'''Cheerleader''' is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris acts as a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]] for Jackie (or "Jacjie"), wearing a tank top and [[Tomgirl Saga|denim skirt]].

For reasons unknown, the video is sped up, although this fails to make the process of viewing it any less drawn-out or excruciating.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Cheerleader
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TbLxGyGCVRQ}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Yellow tank top
| previous = [[Cakefarts]]
| next = [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[The whole video is visibly sped up in editing, although not the audio]''

''[Chris steps out, in tomgirl garb and pom poms. He does some awkward shakes of the pom poms and some knee-kicks.]''
Rah rah ree! [[Kick the Autistic|Kick 'em in the knee!]] Rah rah rut! Kick 'em in the other knee!

''[Chris unsuccessfully tries to spell 'KICK" with his body.]''

[[I_AM_STRONG|Just a little warm up!]]

''[He doesn't even try to get the letters right in his movements anymore as he indulges in a series of kicks.]''

[[Honor_roll|J! A! C! J! I! E!]] Jackie! Who's that girl who can't be beat? [[Jackie|Jackie! Jackie!]] Who's that girl [[Chris and English|who-- she's so sweet!]] Jackie! Jackie!

''[Chris moves toward the camera, his mouth not moving, to reveal that he's either dubbed over his movements or he just can't render a video for shit.]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cakefarts]]|nextlink=[[Chris and Jackie's Date]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

ToJackie

2016-01-01T04:47:34Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''ToJackie''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris begs [[Jackie]] not to leave him, insisting that she matters more than [[video games]], that he can [[Random access humor|make her laugh]], and that no other [[Sex toys|non-living]] [[PS3|object]] can replace her.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ToJackie
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Jwql9W-Vcfk}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|Grey T-shirt}}
| previous = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
| next = [[100 2278]]
}}

{{quote|No video game, no high score or no dang console is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear. }}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:I want you Jackie.jpg|thumb|right|200px|How can you say no to that [[stare]]?]]

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

Listen. Jackie? I gotta— I gotta tell it to you straight. I mean, yeah. I have been doing these videos and everything FOR YOU. I put— I've given you so much time and energy. I want you to know that… it is all good. I am being honest with you. I have been honest with you. Sometimes, I have misspoke. But you are more important to me than ANYTHING. Believe me! I swear. [[Chris and religion|Hand to God. And on my Bible]]. I'd have to go look for it.

''[Chris turns around, looking for his Bible.]''

It's right over— here it is.

''[Chris picks up and places his hand on his "Bible".]''

Yeah, look. Hand on my Bible. I swear to God. I love you more than any— more than anything, Jackie. I love you more than anything.

''[Chris puts the object down.]''

And, plus, I'll be able to make you laugh. Make you more happy. Make you smile a lot more, after we meet— after we get together. I mean—

''[Chris turns around, shoves fake breasts up his shirt, and turns around again.]''

Hey, look. This is fun.

''[Chris imitates his [[WelcometoBollywood|belly dancing]].]''

We can feel each other up, ya know?

''[Chris bends over to show his breasts.]''

Hey, look. How do you like lookin' down at ''my'' cleavage? (Chris laughs.) I'll make you smile, make you happy. [Chris removes the fake breasts.] You know I will, because I love you. I love you a lot.

''[Chris pauses and slouches down.]''

And do— and there ain't no— there's nothing else in the world, 'cept outside my family. [''Chris noticeably sighs.''] You know, 'cause, you know, I gotta— I gotta respect my mom and dad. But no [[sonichu (game)|video game]], no high score or no dang [[PS3|console]] is going to go over you, because I love you so much more. You can return the feelings and emotions. No dang— non-living object can ever do that. I swear.

''[Chris stands up straight, leans forward and grabs the camera.]''

We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]|nextlink=[[100 2278]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 j]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 j]]

Ghostbusters (video)

2016-01-01T04:46:13Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Ghostbusters''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris plays the theme from ''Ghostbusters'' (not the [[Ghostbusters|Filmation one]]) on ''[[Guitar Hero|Rock Band 2]]'' and tries to sing, but not before doing some howling.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Ghostbusters
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-XC6Jwp2Qk}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[HairDifference#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
| next = [[ToJackie]]
}}

{{quote|Bustin' makes me feel good!}}

=== Transcript ===
Here's a fun, spooky dedication. A fun, spooky dedication. Happy ''[howls]''-oleen. -oween.

GHOSTBUSTERS

If there's [[Chris|something strange]] 
in your [[Ruckersville|neighborhood]] 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If there's something weird 
and it don't look good 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no [[Patti|ghosts]] 
I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

If you're seeing things 
running through your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

An invisible man 
sleeping in your bed 
Who ya gonna call? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

I ain't afraid of no ghosts 

Hey! I got one for ya!

You seein things 
in your head 
Who ya gonna call? 
[[Random Access Humor|Mr. Fred!]] 
he [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|wets the bed!]] 
Whatcha gonna do 
when Mr Fred 
wets the bed? 
EEEEWWWWW! 
He wet the dang bed! 

Oh and also. 
You gotta ghost? 
Who do you really call? 
You call another ghost! 
You call another ghost 
to get rid of the first ghost! 
I mean, if it's a boy ghost 
you call a girl ghost 
or vice versa. 

Who ya gonna call, though? 
GHOSTBUSTERS 

If you've had dose of 
freaky ghost 
Ya better call 
ANOTHER GHOST 
or Mr. Fred 
They're better than Ghostbusters! 
of the Jake, Eddie, Tracy Clan 
They're the [[Ghostbusters|real Ghostbusters]]. 

[[Mass debating|Bustin']] makes me feel good! 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

GHOSTBUSTERS 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

ANOTHER GHOST 

If not them 
The GHOSTBUSTERS 

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[HairDifference#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]|nextlink=[[ToJackie]]}}

{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 i]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 i]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 i]]

HairDifference

2016-01-01T04:41:41Z

Crabcmdo: /* HairDifferenceBefore */

'''HairDifference''' are two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. The first video shows Chris's [[hair]] which hasn't been washed in a "few days", and the second video shows the hair after it has been washed with some "good [[Axe]]... shampoo, conditioner with [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|anti-dandruff]]". To the surprise of no one, his plateaued hair, when washed, looks just as horrendous as it does unwashed.

==HairDifferenceBefore==
{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceBefore
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ADsiQYMU_9M}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
| next = [[#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
}}

{{quote|I have been a few days without a shower, because the shower has been unaccessible to me...}}

===Transcript===
All right, it's uh...it's Thurs- it's Thursday thee... what is it, uh... oh, yeah, the 28, and I have been a few days without a shower, because the shower has been unaccessible to me, so my hair is currently in a sit- in a [[Speech Impediment|sitsuation]] where it was past quoted as "oily," and, uh, "stringy," so and I'm about to get ready to take a shower and uh.. and use some of the good Axe... shampoo/conditioner with anti-dandruff.

Yeah, so you'll see a difference in the layer after I uh... after I washed it and after it dries up.

==HairDifferenceAfter==
{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceAfter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ORWwHhrbU08}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[#HairDifferenceBefore|HairDifferenceBefore]]
| next = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
}}

{{quote|And I've lost my nose piece recently. Had to fabricate a new one out of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|
model magic]].}}

===Transcript===
Well it's been a while after my shuts— it's been a while after my shower. My hair— some time to dry. Now look at it now. Not oily and much more fuller. Not so stringy either.

And I used…

''[Chris pulls out a bottle of shampoo.]''

…[[Armoraxe|Axe Armor]]! Anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner!

''[Chris puts down the bottle.]''

Use it to put a shine on your hairy head! Make all the jokes you want. I won't care.

''[Chris puts on his [[glasses]] with the blue modeling clay on it.]''

And I've lost my nose piece recently. Had to fabricate a new one out of model magic.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]|nextlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 h]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 h]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 h]]

HairDifference

2016-01-01T04:41:09Z

Crabcmdo: /* HairDifferenceAfter */

'''HairDifference''' are two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. The first video shows Chris's [[hair]] which hasn't been washed in a "few days", and the second video shows the hair after it has been washed with some "good [[Axe]]... shampoo, conditioner with [[Anti Troll Movement Video1|anti-dandruff]]". To the surprise of no one, his plateaued hair, when washed, looks just as horrendous as it does unwashed.

==HairDifferenceBefore==
{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceBefore
| video = {{#ev:youtube|h7pp5a-b4H0}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
| next = [[#HairDifferenceAfter|HairDifferenceAfter]]
}}

{{quote|I have been a few days without a shower, because the shower has been unaccessible to me...}}

===Transcript===
All right, it's uh...it's Thurs- it's Thursday thee... what is it, uh... oh, yeah, the 28, and I have been a few days without a shower, because the shower has been unaccessible to me, so my hair is currently in a sit- in a [[Speech Impediment|sitsuation]] where it was past quoted as "oily," and, uh, "stringy," so and I'm about to get ready to take a shower and uh.. and use some of the good Axe... shampoo/conditioner with anti-dandruff.

Yeah, so you'll see a difference in the layer after I uh... after I washed it and after it dries up.

==HairDifferenceAfter==
{{Infobox/video
| name = HairDifferenceAfter
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ORWwHhrbU08}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other| Hygiene}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{CreepyRobe|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[#HairDifferenceBefore|HairDifferenceBefore]]
| next = [[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]
}}

{{quote|And I've lost my nose piece recently. Had to fabricate a new one out of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|
model magic]].}}

===Transcript===
Well it's been a while after my shuts— it's been a while after my shower. My hair— some time to dry. Now look at it now. Not oily and much more fuller. Not so stringy either.

And I used…

''[Chris pulls out a bottle of shampoo.]''

…[[Armoraxe|Axe Armor]]! Anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner!

''[Chris puts down the bottle.]''

Use it to put a shine on your hairy head! Make all the jokes you want. I won't care.

''[Chris puts on his [[glasses]] with the blue modeling clay on it.]''

And I've lost my nose piece recently. Had to fabricate a new one out of model magic.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]|nextlink=[[Ghostbusters (video)|Ghostbusters]]}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 h]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 h]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 h]]

JuggaloShoutOut

2016-01-01T04:40:10Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''JuggaloShoutOut''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris keeps on the facepaint from his [[DivineTrial|earlier video]] while giving a "shout out" to fellow [[Wikipedia:Insane Clown Posse|Insane Clown Posse]] fans, who refer to themselves as [[Wikipedia:Juggalo|Juggalos]]. They are known for having many idiotic douchebags among their fanbase, which more or less fits Chris's description.

Chris also recites a lyric from [[wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio]]'s [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|"Gangsta's Paradise"]].
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = JuggaloShoutOut
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jowDswllQRo}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DivineTrial]]
| next = [[HairDifference]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Fucking Autistics.jpg|right|thumb|200px|[[Monthly tugboat|They don't.]] ]]
''[Chris is still wearing the facepaint and [[plush breasts]] he used during the [[DivineTrial]] video, although he has lost the red sheet of construction paper over his crotch.]''

Also, another thing.

''[Chris breaks into song.]''

We will do this gangsta's paradise! Da da da da, da, da da da. Da da da da da, da da da.

''[Chris leans into the camera.]''

Always be a member of the Juggalo family! We Juggalos roll.

== See also ==
*[[Hello, Juffalo]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DivineTrial]]|nextlink=[[HairDifference]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 g]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 g]]

DivineTrial

2016-01-01T04:38:18Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

{{Quote|i hope that [[panda]] doesnt see that. she'd probably be crushed if she heard her rape baby called [a "one-cent daughter"]|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>}}

'''DivineTrial''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses up as [[Wikipedia:Divine (actor)|Divine]], the famous [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] actor who played Babs in the 1972 cult film [[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|''Pink Flamingos'']] and then re-enacts the trial scene from the movie with [[Clyde Cash]] as the culprit. What Chris doesn't know is that when a case is dismissed, the defendant cannot be sentenced, as is it here.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = DivineTrial
| video = {{#ev:youtube|z4C42QhH5YE}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Panda|text}}, {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[DrainedCreativity]]
| next = [[JuggaloShoutOut]]
}}

{{quote|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!}}

=== Transcript ===

[''Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his [[plush breasts]] and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, folks... and darlings! This is Divine Babs, y'know. We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit here, mister Clyde Cash. Say hello to the audience, Clyde.

[''Chris holds up a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll supposed to represent Clyde.'']

'''Clyde:''' [''mumbling noises'']

'''Chris:''' I ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live Internet before the trial here was started.

'''Clyde:''' [''mumbling noises'']

'''Chris:''' He stands accused of being a [[troll]], a bully, and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Sonichu and Rosechu family]]! We bring in a witness here today, of which we will put that against Mr. Clyde Cash here. He's a witness of a- Son- Sonichu, the- the original one.

[''Chris holds up a Pikachu doll, modified to resemble Sonichu.''] All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

'''Sonichu:''' I do.

'''Chris:''' All right, then, will you please point out the guilty party of this room that has done all the trollings and dwollings and all that and even... personal... threatening and whatnot against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Sonichu:''' Yes, [[Wikipedia:Divine (actor)|Divine]]. He's right over there! [''Chris imitates a dramatic musical sting''] Mr. Clyde Cash!

'''Chris:''' Thank you, that'll be all, you may step down from the witness stand. All right then, we will now have order in the court! Order in the court! [''Bangs the table with a coffee cup''] I have reviewed all the case files and what not, and in this [[Sonichu 10|kangaroo court]] justice, I hereby... pronounce sentence to Mr. Clyde Cash. He is guilty of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here, for his punishment, he will be shot to death... and his wi- and [[PandaHalo|his wife]] and one-cent daughter [[Women's rights|will go to a better husband...]] outside of his family. One will be provided for her by law. Somebody within her local reach, but not from the state of [[Virginia]].
[[Image:Chris is phoenix wright.jpg|thumb|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]]
But anyway, the punishment is death for Mr. Clyde Cash... for doing so many wrongs against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler. Case dismissed! [''Bangs the table with his coffee cup again'']

'''Chris:''' Are you ready for your execution, Mr. Clyde Cash?

'''Clyde:''' [''mumbling noises'']

'''Chris:''' [[Clyde Cash|Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange!]] Buh-bye.
[''Chris pulls out his [[Megatron pistol]] and shoots Clyde.'']

And that was another fine episode of Divine's people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day! And remember, Divine ''is''... the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world! Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown! It's usually blonde!

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]|nextlink=[[JuggaloShoutOut]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 f]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 f]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 f]]

DrainedCreativity

2016-01-01T04:37:32Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''DrainedCreativity''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris bemoans the [[trolls]] for draining his creativity. This video could be a logical explanation on why there's a shortage of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], if we didn't already know it's because Chris is [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|horrendously]] lazy.

This video's audio served as the intro to the album ''[[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]]''.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DrainedCreativity
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7XLDj43Rey0}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Rage|Anger}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Book10Replacement]]
| next = [[DivineTrial]]
}}

===Transcript===
Well, you trolls and [[Clyde Cash]]...I hope you all are happy. [''dramatic [[glasses]] removal''] You quit--you put me down so much and belittled my--belittled my [[Chris and copyright|creativity]] and my [[Chris and art|artistic capabilities]]. Pretty much made me scar--you pretty much made me nearly scared to draw and think creatively.

You drained me.

You ''drained me'', you damn idiots.

Sons o' bitches.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Book10Replacement]]|nextlink=[[DivineTrial]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 e]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 e]]

Book10Replacement

2016-01-01T04:36:10Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

{{Quote|Have you seen my pussy? She has run off attached to the teats of my lovely wife.|[[Mao]]}}

'''Book10Replacement''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, with the presentation style of the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris shows off the "[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|corrected]]" version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], something he claimed to have started on months prior.

Instead of being executed, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live among the Amish for the rest of their lives, without access to the Internet and thus without the ability to troll. Mao gets a "mandatory chosen wife", even though real Amish do not practice arranged marriage and courtship is usually a private matter.<ref>[http://www.everyculture.com/North-America/Amish-Marriage-and-Family.html]</ref> [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] dies after crashing into a mountain, and [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] is imprisoned for marijuana possession.

The pages were done to appease [[Jackie]], who actually wanted something else entirely: knowing that Chris had promised Alec that the ending will eventually be replaced with something nicer than a hideous bloodbath, she wanted the comic to have a kinder ending, with a parade where Chris forgives [[Alec]] and [[Asperchu]] and acknowledges that they've tried to help him - just to demonstrate that Chris has actually gotten over this issue.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref><ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> Of course, his failure to do this, and the repeated lies that followed, turned out to be extremely telling.

These new pages are horrendously unfinished even by Chris's standards. None of them are colored and the majority of the action is textwalling. The dialog is appallingly dull even by ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' standards. One wonders why he even bothered. Eventually, these pages were completed and were finally published to [[Facebook]] on 13 [[September 2015]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Book10Replacement
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w-1C9xN4dPc}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
| next = [[DrainedCreativity]]
}}

{{quote|He has been doing good being [[Christian Weston Chandler|the village idiot]] his whole life.}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' Wait- it is done! I can now reveal to you the true pages of which- replace the ones that were gory... and outrageous. Starting with page 90 where we end the trial. 
'''Sean:''' In our defense, we have a rock! 
'''Judge:''' I think we've heard enough. Jury? 
'''Jury:''' We, the jury, find the defendants guilty times four! 
'''Judge:''' I agree! I hereby sentence the four of them to residence in an [[Wikipedia:Amish|Amish]] community! No technology access whatsoever, for the rest of their lives! Court is adjourned! 
[''Next page''] 
'''Narrator:''' Meanwhile, in the D.C. Maximum Security Prison... 
'''[[Slaweel Yram]]:''' Eeheheheheehee! My spell is completed! I will wreak havoc on [[CWCville|that city]] once again! I am Slaweel! 
[''Next page: Slaweel has been knocked into the wall by an explosion of some sort.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' Urgh! ...Urgh! Dang it! 
'''Guard:''' Hahahaha! Another failed spell, 06960. 
'''Slaweel:''' Shut up! 
'''Guard:''' Anyway, you have a new cellmate. 
[''Slaweel's new cellmate is revealed to be [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s woman love slave.''] 
'''Slaweel:''' Huh. So, what did they get you for, lady? 
[''Next page''] 
'''Kathleen:''' Hmm. Well, I think [''?''] as well, Slaweel. Anyway after the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent_Garbage]] building collapse, Jason and I made our escape. After we got away we had a fight, and he dumped me. He had caught me cheating on him with [[Beel|the secretary]]! I was distraught. I got and used- I went and got and used some... I got and used some [[Tobacky|marijuana]]... a lot of it. The police had caught me using it, I was tried, and now here I am. I heard Jason crashed into a mountain and died. That son of a [[Chris and censorship|*BEEP*]] got what he deserved. Trolling and torturing innocent people is [[Beel|devil]]'s work anyway! ...Hmm. 
'''Slaweel:''' Did you smuggle any MJ in? 
'''Kathleen:''' No, they frisked me and got all I had was from my breasts and up my asshole. [?] 
'''Slaweel:''' Oh. 
[''Next page: we see an extremely crude depiction of a horse-drawn carriage.''] 
'''Narrator:''' One month later, in the Amish community... 
[''Chris makes clopping noises.''] 
[''Next page: [[Mao]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] are dressed in Amish clothing''] 
'''Alec:''' Good day, neighbor Mao! 
'''Mao:''' Good day, neighbor Alec! 
'''Alec:''' How are you today? 
'''Mao:''' I had pleasant night's sleep, and my [[Women's rights|mandatory chosen wife]], she had... my mandatorily chosen wife. She had fixed a good [[Christian's sex joke|bacon and eggs]] with biscuits for breakfast! That is good. 
'''Alec:''' Yes it is. 
[''Chris hums a tune as we see Sean step on a rake lying on the ground and get whacked in the face. This joke is almost certainly "[[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]]" from [[The Simpsons]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Cape Feare|Cape Feare]]."''] 
[''Next page: The Amish trolls continue to talk.''] 
'''Alec:''' Well! Neighbor Sean has hit himself with the rake again. 
'''Mao:''' Yes. 
'''Alec:''' He has been doing good being [[Slow-in-the-minds|the village idiot]] his whole life. 
'''Mao:''' I agree! 
'''Alec:''' I am looking forward merrily to today's barn raising. Mrs. Baisley is making her famous... beans and bread. 
'''Mao:''' Oh! Ms. Baisley is making her beans and bread again? I enjoy her beans and bread greatly. I enjoy her good food with her delicious milk freshly squeezed from her teat. 
'''Alec:''' Yes, her bovine breasts give the best milk around, neighbor Mao. 
'''[[Evan Christopher George]]:''' Neighbor Mao? Neighbor Alec... you are mistaken! I am neighbor Evan. 
'''Alec:''' Oh dear! I am in error. Where is neighbor Mao? 
'''Evan:''' He has gone to the store for vittles. 
[''Next page: Mao is in the general store.''] 
'''Mao:''' Good day, shopkeep. I would like two pounds of black-eyed beans, ten carrots, fifty pounds of grain. Have you seen- And have you seen my [[Chandler Cats|pussy]]? She has run off attached to the teats of my [[Lovely Weather|lovely wife]]. 
[''Next page: Same as the ending of the original [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]].''] 
'''Chris:''' And then the end of- the end of the story. And those are the replacement pages for book number ten. Thank you very much and have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]|nextlink=[[DrainedCreativity]]}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==Sources==
<references/>
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-10-30 d]]

WelcometoBollywood

2016-01-01T04:34:13Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''WelcometoBollywood''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris performs [[Wikipedia:Bollywood|Bollywood]] [[Wikipedia:belly dancing|belly dancing]], clad in his [[Plush breasts|padded-out]] white [[muscle bra]], to the tune of "[[Wikipedia:Kajra Re|Kajra Re]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DovUEruZ2q4&t=0m33s Kajra Re]</ref>, from the [[2005]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Bunty Aur Babli|Bunty Aur Babli]]''. He attempts to mimic Aishwarya Rai's actions, but like all his endeavors, does it poorly and betrays a fantastic lack of preparation. He appears to be watching the film as he dances.

It begs the question how Chris can dance around in place for nearly 7 minutes, yet is incapable of even holding onto a bar to do [[pull-up]]s. Either that, or he simply used several thinly-disgused jump cuts to hide his inability to exercise.

In [[September 2015]], Chris revealed that he was taking lessons in belly-dancing.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WelcometoBollywood
| video = {{#ev:youtube|JXdtUGB8-q8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Dancing}} {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra2|text}}
| previous = [[SpaghettiRoutine]]
| next = [[Book10Replacement]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Chris turns on "Kajra Re", then dances in circles for 3 and a half minutes.]''

You're lovin' this, aren'tcha Jack-IE!

''[Chris continues to dance in a circle for another 4 minutes.]''

''[At 5:00, Chris claps off-beat]''

''[Chris turns off the Indian music.]''

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[SpaghettiRoutine]]|nextlink=[[Book10Replacement]]}}

{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 c]]

SpaghettiRoutine

2016-01-01T04:33:28Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''SpaghettiRoutine''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. [[Jackie]] had requested him to make a video depicting him actually cooking spaghetti (a very basic dish, mind you) in his [[Chris's kitchen|kitchen]]. Chris [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that [[Barb|his mother]] had cluttered up the stove, and thus ''pretended'' to make spaghetti instead. Chris then presents microwaved spaghetti served on a paper plate and rubs his face in it. As he wipes the sauce from his face, he shoehorns in a not-so-subtle jab at [[Clyde Cash]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SpaghettiRoutine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|BAIXSVcmZP8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|[[Obesity|Food]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ShowerClean2]]
| next = [[WelcometoBollywood]]
}}

{{quote|Unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Chefboyardee.jpg|thumb|right|Thank goodness for Chris's [[TRUE and HONEST]] Special Recipe. (DO NOT STEAL.)]]
For this presentation, I was going to make some spaghetti, live in the kitchen. But unfortunately, I don't have access to stove 'cause mama put a whole bunch of crap in the way. So, I am going to mime it. [''Mimes picking up a pot.''] Here's the pot. [''Wipes down the imaginary stove and mimes putting the pot on the burner.''] Put it on the stove. [''Mimes turning on the stove.''] Set it to the boiling temperature. [''Gestures upwards, making a sound that imitates steam rushing up, before making a tapping motion with his fingers to represent the water bubbling.''] Boop-boop-boop-boop! Ah, in time the water's boiling. So we take the pot of spaghetti noodles...[''Mimics opening a package of dried noodles.''] And...[''Hissing noises, wild gestures.''] Click click click click click click! [''Stirring motions. Adopts a baby voice.''] Noodles, smell so good! [''Lifts pretend noodles as if on a spoon.''] Mm, hey look at that. [[Duck|Drippy, no stiffy!]] [''Holds them close to the camera.''] I offer you some don—some non stiff drippy! But it's hot right now, so you might wanna wait a while. [''More hissing, more stirring.''] Yeah, I say our noodles are done. [''More imaginary knob turning. Chris motions as if holding a fishing rod.''] Hey, we pour—we drain the water out. [''Does so, and sets “pot” down.''] We get some plate-we get some plates. [''Mimes getting plates down.''] Oh wait a minute...we're serving two! [''In light of this epiphany, Chris tosses the excess plates away and makes shattering sounds.''] Heh heh! I'm just kiddin'. [''More gesturing, seems to be serving spaghetti.''] Fork. [''Mimes scraping pot.''] We don't want any noodles left behind! We'll rinse that out later!

In the meantime, here's a good jar of marinara sauce. [''Produces imaginary sauce. Unscrews it with unnecessary groaning noises, then a pop sound to indicate the lid coming off.''] There we go, I popped the seal! [''Pours it.''] Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop...and now some grated mozzarella! [''Sings while caressing the mozzarella.''] I gotta pop this seal. Bloop-bloop...[''Shakes it over the food.''] And we'll add other spices...from my father's collection, which includes rosemary, garlic, parsley, whatever. [''More “unsealing”, more “shaking.”'']

And you can make your own meatballs with uh, processed meat and... put it all on a tray or something, let me throw it in, rolling it all into balls. But [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|they end up not so good]], not as good, are they? So, what about we did, what if you buy your own meatballs? We had this pot-we had this package of Swedish meatballs, cook it in the microwave alread- so they're warming up already. [''Opens a package of imaginary meatballs, does something unidentifiable to them, and appears to dump them all over the “table.”''] And in the end, on one-at least on one of the two plates, you get somethin'...like this! [''Turns the camera to focus on a plate of real spaghetti and meatballs on a paper plate. Zooms in and out on it.''] Yummy, yummy, delicious!

[''Focuses back on himself. Goes back to the baby voice.''] So now we can sit down and eat our spaghetti. It is so delicious. [''Stirs the plate of real spaghetti with a plastic fork.''] Mmm...it smells so good! [''Holds a forkful up to the camera.''] You want a bite? Look at this, you want a bite? Mm, very good, num. You better take a bite, because you know what? Watch this- watch this- you watchin'? [''Chris mashes his face into the spaghetti like a child and takes several disgusting bites, then emerges with sauce on his nose and chin. Holds out his arms and smiles like he did something worth praising.''] Ta-da! [''Laughs. Wipes his face with a paper towel.''] I'm just kiddin'. I wouldn't do that to you for real life, huh-huh. It's fun. Hey, [[Niggos|at least my head's not fuckin' orange]]. Like a certain...[''Wipes nose some more'']...Cashey-type person I know. [''Turns camera off.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ShowerClean2]]|nextlink=[[WelcometoBollywood]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 c]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 c]]

ShowerClean

2016-01-01T04:28:57Z

Crabcmdo: /* ShowerClean2 */

The '''ShowerClean''' videos are two short videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In the first video, Chris points out an area on his extremely dirty, stained shower wall that he's going to clean, that appears to be covered in an infestation of ''Serratia marcescens'', responsible for [[Duck|bladder infections]]. In the second video, he shows us the finished result. Chris then hints that he can achieve this same cleaning result on the rest of the shower, but then hesitates to explain when exactly he intends to do that, which would suggest he didn't clean any more of the shower later.

It would be [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|confirmed]] that Chris never cleaned his shower again after this video - ''three years later''.

==ShowerClean1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5ww5Al3kV0A}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Other|Grey T-Shirt}}
| previous = [[Don'tPintheOop]]
| next = [[#ShowerClean2|ShowerClean2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on a group of tiles with moldy grout and an orange stain, freshly sprayed with a cleaner.]''

Focusing on this one stain, right here, in the shower wall, for now.

''[Chris moves the camera to focus on his face and the cleaner.]''

With this Shower Shine[[copyright|™]]…

''[Chris picks up a roll of paper towels.]''

…these paper towels… I'm gonna get that spot out.

At least make it look better.

==ShowerClean2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bsMBpji-LFA}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Other|Grey T-Shirt}}
| previous = [[#ShowerClean1|ShowerClean1]]
| next = [[SpaghettiRoutine]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on his face.]''

All right.

''[Chris moves the camera onto the same set of tiles, slightly cleaner but still full of grimy grout. Some of the stain is gone, exposing the white tiles underneath.]''

Here we are. Take a look at that, huh? Stain is gone. Big stain is gone. And give me more time, I can have the rest of it down— the rest of that mess off, too. But for this— for this video footage, I'll just concentrate on the one spot for now.

''[Chris moves the camera back onto his face.]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don'tPintheOop]]|nextlink=[[SpaghettiRoutine]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 b]]

ShowerClean

2016-01-01T04:28:23Z

Crabcmdo: /* ShowerClean1 */

The '''ShowerClean''' videos are two short videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In the first video, Chris points out an area on his extremely dirty, stained shower wall that he's going to clean, that appears to be covered in an infestation of ''Serratia marcescens'', responsible for [[Duck|bladder infections]]. In the second video, he shows us the finished result. Chris then hints that he can achieve this same cleaning result on the rest of the shower, but then hesitates to explain when exactly he intends to do that, which would suggest he didn't clean any more of the shower later.

It would be [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|confirmed]] that Chris never cleaned his shower again after this video - ''three years later''.

==ShowerClean1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5ww5Al3kV0A}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Other|Grey T-Shirt}}
| previous = [[Don'tPintheOop]]
| next = [[#ShowerClean2|ShowerClean2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on a group of tiles with moldy grout and an orange stain, freshly sprayed with a cleaner.]''

Focusing on this one stain, right here, in the shower wall, for now.

''[Chris moves the camera to focus on his face and the cleaner.]''

With this Shower Shine[[copyright|™]]…

''[Chris picks up a roll of paper towels.]''

…these paper towels… I'm gonna get that spot out.

At least make it look better.

==ShowerClean2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = ShowerClean2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rnkjIv0Yzr8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{Other|Grey T-Shirt}}
| previous = [[#ShowerClean1|ShowerClean1]]
| next = [[SpaghettiRoutine]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris focuses on his face.]''

All right.

''[Chris moves the camera onto the same set of tiles, slightly cleaner but still full of grimy grout. Some of the stain is gone, exposing the white tiles underneath.]''

Here we are. Take a look at that, huh? Stain is gone. Big stain is gone. And give me more time, I can have the rest of it down— the rest of that mess off, too. But for this— for this video footage, I'll just concentrate on the one spot for now.

''[Chris moves the camera back onto his face.]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Don'tPintheOop]]|nextlink=[[SpaghettiRoutine]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 b]]

Don'tPintheOop

2016-01-01T04:27:20Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''"Don'tPintheOop"''' ("[[Random Access Humor|Don't P in the Oop]]", or thanks to how it's arranged "Don't Pin the Oop") is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris gives a shout out to Gulliver, a relative of [[Jackie]]. He then discusses the matter of pooping himself and the resulting [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty underwear]]. It is discovered in this video that he has actually crapped himself in public on multiple occasions, not just at his house. Finally, he announces the upcoming execution of [[Clyde Cash]], and how crapping his pants isn't as bad as having "[[Chris and race|orange faces]]".

Chris also mentions his [[computer]] being "[[PS3|busted]]" and that he is [[Monthly tugboat|"going to get a new one."]] He has also replaced the white tape that used to hold his [[Pedo-Glasses]] together with a homemade [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] nosepiece.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Don'tPintheOop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v0b9_Jn0s00}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[FullHouse]]
| next = [[ShowerClean]]
}}

{{quote|So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench.}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris is wearing blue taped glasses and holding a red clipboard.]''

Hello, this is a video dedicated to a…

''[Chris looks at the clipboard.]''

…Gulliver. It's a shout-out to him, a relative of a girl, uh, of the woman I'm seeing. You know, it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants. Hey, I know I've had my accidents! They're mostly [[stress]]-induced!

''[Chris pauses and appears to hold in a burp.]''

And specifically of a recent event I had a near— I had a near inci— near accident. I just really felt it bad in my gut. And I'll tell you what caused it. It was the risk of losing my— losin' my girlfriend here because of, uh, things, cause of minor indifferences, especially a bein' able— me being unable to get on the PC because it's been busted. Lookin' ta get a new one. And I am going to get a new one.

But anyway, almost did, but fortun'ly, I was able to make it home in time. But there was another time where I actually— where I actually did happen to be where I pooped my pants in public. It was just stressed-sisduced an' it could be held, it just came out quick. I mean, it was a very uncomfortable ride home that day. But I managed to hold my— ta' keep my cool and cleaned myself out after I got back home. So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench. But yeah, don't think of us as different, 's just something we gotta take care of ourselves because we can't right now. But we will take care of it when we get home or when we get to the nearest restroom.

And you know if you're tall— if you're tall enough to get over, just squat over a commode in the men's room then wipe yourself, maybe wipe your underpants, too. I have done that before myself. I actually done that in a public restroom. I mean, yeah, if you can't make it home in time and you can't make it into a restroom either, you can just squat and clean yourself. That's the best thing to go for there.

Hey, I mean at least our faces are not fuckin' orange…

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

…like a certain Cashey Clyde that I know.

''[Chris puts his glasses back on.]''

Stay tuned for an [[DivineTrial|execution of him in a future video!]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[FullHouse]]|nextlink=[[ShowerClean1]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30]]

WeighIn

2016-01-01T04:21:45Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''WeighIn''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. The scale gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). There is some speculation as to whether or not Chris offset the scale, but in any case, it didn't do any good; based on [[Wikipedia:Body mass index|BMI]], this weight implies that he is [[obesity|obese]] for a man of even his claimed height (5'10" / 178 cm).<ref>Chris claims to be 5'10" on his [[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics|dating]] [[Match.com#SonichuCWC_profile_text|profiles]], although considering how he lies about his other physical attributes and [http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/ men in general are dishonest about their height], he's probably shorter. His BMI can be calculated [http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi_scripts/bmi_udaim.pl?htf=5&hti=10&wt=216&scale=english&submit_e=Submit on this website].</ref> Admittedly, BMI is a flawed metric, which doesn't take into account muscle mass or build, but in any case Chris has [[Power|almost]] [[I AM STRONG|no]] [[51 50|muscles]] and has quite a thin build.

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing blue Crayola Model Magic around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]].

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rEmkL3EKZeM}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|One explanation why Chris weighs less than 300 lbs]]
Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

== See Also ==
[[Obesity]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Power videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 e]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 e]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 e]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:15:28Z

Crabcmdo: /* At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kHE-Ir1yj2I}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xajrRxvpUro}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|t3f7wMkqPtU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I0i2nXerYEI}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5SWp2NiJFdw}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:08:29Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut8 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kHE-Ir1yj2I}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xajrRxvpUro}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|t3f7wMkqPtU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I0i2nXerYEI}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:07:35Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut7 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kHE-Ir1yj2I}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xajrRxvpUro}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|t3f7wMkqPtU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:06:45Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut6 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kHE-Ir1yj2I}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xajrRxvpUro}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:05:52Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut5 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kHE-Ir1yj2I}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QbEqUwy07xs}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:05:26Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut4 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|naB8uoRJ5x4}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uhN9bqX1m_c}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QbEqUwy07xs}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:04:58Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut3 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3B_2AUcrPig}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_yV9PogBMcA}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uhN9bqX1m_c}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QbEqUwy07xs}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:04:27Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut2 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SS-6qbOOM3E}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3oQbhGbozbg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_yV9PogBMcA}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uhN9bqX1m_c}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QbEqUwy07xs}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

DayOut

2016-01-01T04:04:01Z

Crabcmdo: /* DayOut1 */

The '''DayOut''' videos are a series of 9 videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris takes us on a trip around [[Ruckersville]] and [[Charlottesville]] and shows us such wonderful places as [[McDonald's]], [[Walmart]], and [[Burger King]]! Can you feel the excitement?

Chris seems to describe stores, shopping malls and fast food joints, their surroundings and their easily rectifiable flaws with a droning monotone. Counter-intuitively, he generally uses this tone when he talks about stuff that is ''truly'' closest to his heart. When he finally gets to the more conventional tour sights--for example, the historic [[University of Virginia]] campus--that might actually interest people who think shopping malls are old hat, he ups the ante and launches into an assault of [[random-access humor]].

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change]]

His [[Son-chu|trusty steed]] shows mechanical issues throughout the videos: an ungodly rattling sound is emitted from the engine at every stop light while idling. According to the oil-change sticker on the front windshield, his next scheduled oil change was for 5 [[April 2009]]--19 months ''before'' this video was made--or at 259,963 miles (418,351 km).

There are no less than 4 items hanging from his rear-view mirror blocking his view: a tacky, faded plastic [[America]]n flag; an [[Cherokian|Indian]] Head air freshener and a custom-made [[Sonichu]] air freshener; and a [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] doll superglued to the car's dashboard. Chris did, however, have the common knowledge to remove the giant handicapped placard from his view.

Chris holds the camera ''while driving'', panning it from left to right to focus on whatever building he's talking about. This distraction is in addition to all the items floating in front of him while his station wagon becomes as cluttered as his [[house]]. It's a miracle he didn't cause a car crash or get pulled over for looking through his camera while driving.<ref>[http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1077 Virginia Code § 46.2-1077]. Motor vehicles not to be equipped with television within view of driver; viewing motion pictures or similar displays while driving.</ref>

==DayOut1==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NqepiX3yEac}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Wigwam]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello! Today we are going on a [[Niggos|drive-by]] tour of some of my favorite places around...town. Here and dere. So we're gonna get in my car and I'm gonna...[[6 June 2010|drive around]]. [''Chris walks over to Son-Chu and gives the camera [[The Creepy Stare]].'']

==DayOut2==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gudHHaaQm3g}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving his car now, pointing his camera out the windshield.'']

And, uhh, coming up on--first on our trip, we take a--we go north to [[Ruckersville]]. [''points the camera out the passenger's window; a sign for a Walmart and Lowe's comes into view''] And right over to our right, we see the new McDonald's that has been built recently. [''he points the camera out his window towards a Walmart''] Let's get a closer look at that shortly. And over to my left is the new Walmart that has been...constructed--has been finished for over a month now. Got everything in there, it's practically super-size.

[''Chris points his camera at the windshield again. After a short pause, he aims it out the passenger's window at a McDonald's. He drives around the parking lot as he continues, moving his camera randomly around the car as he does so.'']

There is the new McDonald's. Small in its stature, though it can stand to improvement. Because you basically have to go around the building twice just to go through the drive-thru! They need to either add an exit lane outta here...around there, I don't know, or make this whole building do a wh--whole 180. Other than that, the, uh, Walmart is just fine the way it is.

[''Chris points the camera out the right window again at a gas station.'']

And in a moment up here, we'll take a closer look at the [[Coffee Place|Burger King]]...that my father goes to sometimes.

==DayOut3==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3oQbhGbozbg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut2|DayOut2]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is driving around the parking lot and drive-thru of a gas station-Burger King combo.'']

This here is the Burger King that my father... goes to ev- practically every morning for breakfast, and sometimes I join him as well. But not every day. Sometimes. [[List of Chris's lies|I am not a]] [[Chris and Health|fast-food addict]]. [''pause''] And I am [[Obesity|not that big]], though I can stand to lose a [[A Workout|few pounds]].

==DayOut4==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut4
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_yV9PogBMcA}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut3|DayOut3]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris is parked in a parking lot of a Food Lion supermarket, while Son-Chu rattles loudly in the background. He pulls out of his space and drives around a bit.'']

And next on our drive-by tour...is our--is the local Food Lion, where my family and I would get most of our food, 'specially when they're on sale. Sometimes we get our food from the, uh, new Walmart, but it depends--it depends on where the prices--on which one has lower price. 'Cause most likely, over at Walmart, their food items are not on sale. [[Autism|They're usually on, quote-unquote, "rollbacks".]]

==DayOut5==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut5
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uhN9bqX1m_c}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut4|DayOut4]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Son-Chu's horrid rattling is still heard in the background.'']

Next up--next up, in our drive-by tour, we are in the For--we are in the shops of Forest Lakesss. Where we have the, uh, [[Target]]? Where I sometimes walk around in? They have a comparable selection...possibly prices lower than Walmart sometimes, but not all da time.

Also in this neckinawoods we have a Five Guys restauraaant, a Quiz-nooos, I think there's a Subway roun'nyeaaar...uhhm...a Sakura-s, but then t'...an a'course one of the eh-many GameStops, T.G.I. Fridays...a T.G.I. Fridays over there, za GameStop here...and! Around-a corner over here, there's a Harris Teeter! Right over there!

I'm stuck behind-a vehicle.

Anyway, a 'arrir Teeter, right over...there!

I'll save the film, and we'll pick up we're at the next stop.

==DayOut6==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut6
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QbEqUwy07xs}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut5|DayOut5]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut7]]
}}

===Transcript===
[''Small pan around. The handicap sticker is prominent for a bit.'']

An' a para--in a panoramic sort of view from a standpoint, this here is [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], at least the front of it. Where there are a great number of stores in there, Including a whole bunch-a buildin' stores, but the choolest ones gotta I, I would say gotta be Sears, Belk, JCPenney. Uhhh, yes there is a GameStop in there, an' a [[Plush breasts|Spencers]], and a [[Toys "R" Us]] Express. Which actually gives good appeal back to the um, ba-back to the shopping center, because they lost some of--they lost that PO when they clo--when they closed the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes|Kay-Bee Toy]] store that used to be in there. And they will be openin' up a new book store soon to replace the one they had before.

[''pans camera to his face''] On the way over here, a few other note-ca-notable locations. Where um, the Sam's Club and the Walmart next to the Doubletree Hotel. On the right side outgoing south, as well as Rio [''pronounces it as "Ry-o"''] Hill Shopping Center with a Lowe's, a [[Chik-Fil-A]], a Kroger, Crutchfield, and Atlas [[Sonichu (comic)|Comic]] Book Store. And also, an IHOP, which my parents sometimes go to for dinner. Or lunch. I dunno. It's one of those times. And also, there's uh, also up the road just a little bit, there's a Toys "R" Us. Up the road northwise. And there are other places, of which, uh, we'll be taken note of. [''stutters''] Also up the road some more, is a Kmart and a Big Lots...a Burger King around there. And of course there are shops at the Barracks Road Shopping Center, which, probably enough, there's another...GameStop over there as well. But there's also a Barnes & Noble, as well as a...FedEx Kinko's, and another Harris Teeter, 'nother Kroger over there. Bunch'a good stores over there. Sh-Shena-Shenanigans, and...that other store that next to it. I forget its name...it'll b--I'll be waylaying(?) other locations short in just'a little bit. Stay tuned.

==DayOut7==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut7
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qSSiTYddWSY}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut6|DayOut6]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
}}

===Transcript===
Coming up in just a little bit, we will be, ah-passing by an old playground I used to play at quite often, which includes a wading pool.

I--I mean, I mean when I was ah li--just an itty bitty thing, I thought it was a swimming pool. I mean, I guess to really call it a swimming pool it would need to be deeper.

Anyway we're going to drive-by it now.

Take a look at the pool there, you can tell it needs to be deeper. There's the old playground. They need to [[Sonic Boom|update that]], it's a bit rusty. Update the playground fixtures.

Stay tuned on our next stop to be coming up eventually. But also, I would like to note another fine landmark, another fine landmark around here. A little-known place called [[McIntire Park]].

I mean, I don't know, I mean, I don't know if that playground I just pointed out kind of is McIntire Park, or part of it. But it's next to it anyway.

There's a playground over at McIntire Park also, nowadays.

==DayOut8==
{{Infobox/video
| name = DayOut8
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AMdasdCExck}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut7|DayOut7]]
| next = [[DayOut#At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange]]
}}

===Transcript===
Anyway, uh, on our next drop by, we're just gonna get a few little glimpses of the Downtown Mall. Y'all have seen it before as I have, uh, recorded it mainly, to that, considerably [[Sonichu's Edge|parkour]] thing. Even though you guess, uhhh, you couldn't really count it as a parkour--I, I mean, I tried, you know, I did try on that.

Now I'm stopped at a traffic light here.

[''[[stress sigh]]]''] C'mon. Come on.

Anyway jus--just a few peeks down the few alleys of the uh, downtown mall area. Just a few peeks here and there.

Uh. Looks like we got the, ah, Albemarle Charlottesville Spirit Walk coming up.

If you want to do this step-by-step that's your luxury and you're welcome to do that. I'm just going to put myself in here at the parking garage. So I'll check in at the next destination.

==At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange==
{{Infobox/video
| name = At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RYUcwB5E4Dg}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Sightseeing}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| style = {{Reason|"The Tour Guide"}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#DayOut8|DayOut8]]
| next = [[WeighIn]]
}}

The title of this video is likely an insult aimed at noted guido [[Clyde Cash]].

===Transcript===
Pretty much on this final segment of this, uh, tour around Charlottesvile, and, uh, some of my fun favorite choice places. We can drive down the t--down the corner, and the [[UVA]], the University of Virginia, just coming up on the corner.

Don't forget traffic folks, because, you know, red lights, they do come up.

Green change, change you stupid light. Red light turn green. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmm. [''sigh''] Better yet, green light turn yellow. Nnnnnn-now. Now. Right now. Oh, it happened. Go figure sun reflections and everything.

Anyway I don't really have much ah, particular of what's in the corner, but there is a Baja Bean. Did go to a Baja Bean that was across, that's across from the Walmart in Charlottesville, a little while back. Don't go there as much. But, yeah that's one place anyway.

UVA medical, medical center and hospital areas down to the left there. Which is, ah you can make the left turn to get there from here. Going about West-ward.

Hey, little truck from Texas. He's a long way from home.

Dududududu, red light turn green. Red light turn green. C'mon. Red light turn green. Red light turn green, green, green. Red light turn green. There you go.

Anyway just, ah, enjoy what's on the ah, corner along the right side of the building as we drive by. (Chris belches loudly)

Cause essentially it's just whatever. I know that ah, there's a, I think there's a Plan Nine on the corner now, or at least there used to be. There's a Plan Nine over by where Circuit City used to be as well. I'd go around Circuit City once about now there once in a while, while it was open. There's a Baja Bean. And unfortunately they had to close up their shops too. [[The Cleveland Show|Circuit City, there's one left, come find us]]. Yeah, all the way up, probably in Canada. Toronto Canada. Or, better yet. You don't have to travel as far, for some of our good deals you can go to our website which, is still up. Even though our stores are closed we have an online store and our one location in Toronto Canada. Circuit City, were service is state of the art, or [[Chris and Remorse|at least was]], no it's like seemingly out of date. The old plug socket, that went into the pavement.

Everybody wants to [[Chris and music|sing the song]].

And a few calls of ah, [[rape]] around here lately. What's kinda sad, really. But, y'know, at least the citizens are more aware.

And I'll just, ah turn into my left now where you can see some of the Campus buildings. So the buildings of the ah, University of Virginia. The Campus grounds and all that. Don't know much about 'em except for, [[Bob|my father]] was a guest on a radio st-, on the WTJU here one year when they were doing the jazz marathon in 1989. I remembered the year at random just now. [[Chris and cinematography|Please forgive the reflective sunlight]].

Ahh, the University of Virginia. The University in the city of which it was founded by Mr. Thomas Jefferson and the letter, Z, in the statue in front of that building. I believe there's a postcard with that image on there as well.

Hmmm, give you a little bit more, tour of the ah, grounds, and then I'll have to wrap this up because I'm running ou- I'm running low on memory.

[[Ghostbusters|There's something strange]], in your head, who you gonna call? Mr. Fred! [[100 2277|He wets the bed.]] What are you gonna do when Mr. Fred wets the bed? Ewww. Oh I say here's a bad host. It's a ghost. Who you gonna call? Another ghost! To get rid of the first ghost. I mean especially if it's a boy ghost, you call a girl ghost. Or, otherwise you call- uh can't make a left turn here. Otherwise if it's a girl ghost you call a boy ghost, anyway you call another ghost to get rid of the first ghost. Can't make a left turn here.

Anyway, there's another step down there and ah, tennis courts over there and, I don't know, there's a soccer field around the corner there. And that pretty much wraps it up here.

This has been a, fun little tour on a day out with me. Thank you very much, and have a go-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&daddr=U.S.+29,+Ruckersville,+VA+22968+(Burger+King)+to:Ruckersville,+136+Cedar+Grove+Road,+VA+to:Connor+Dr,+Charlottesville,+Albemarle,+Virginia+22911+to:Park+St+to:US-250+E%2FUS-250+Bypass+E+to:Market+St+%26+2nd+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22902+to:Market+St.+and+5th+St.,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:W+Main+St+%26+7th+St+NW,+Charlottesville,+Virginia+22903+to:University+Ave.+and+Emmet+St.+S,+Charlottesville,+VA+to:14+Branchland+Court,+Ruckersville,+VA&hl=en&geocode=FWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg%3BFf1iRwId3CtU-yHQBPnFU2tWlg%3BFcwDRwIdUONT-ylrZYXshnG0iTH8QadOLbw_yQ%3BFULLRQIdDBVT-yn_nFuqCHe0iTEbJSEapw6WAA%3BFch0RAIds55S-w%3BFZSGRAIdyIJS-w%3BFZNRRAIdEnZS-ykdrofGJYaziTGxNkQfBTO8AQ%3BFSJNRAId2YRS-ymTJX9VJoaziTEowGTWE7F6Hw%3BFTlQRAIdVldS-ykj6BasO4aziTEmnlbr3y62fw%3BFRJxRAIdUxVS-ymZiHJeToaziTEh3y31Shwr1A%3BFWLiRgIdl5dT-yk_WYo5C3G0iTEm_Csij_khEg&mra=mrv&mrcr=4&sll=38.035146,-78.486972&sspn=0.011459,0.01929&ie=UTF8&ll=38.134016,-78.403931&spn=0.366183,0.617294&z=11 Chris's route] (more or less)

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Wigwam]]|nextlink=[[WeighIn]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 d]]

Wigwam

2016-01-01T04:02:54Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Wigwam''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. Chris, summoning his [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]] [[racism|heritage]], pretends to smoke [[tobacky]], nearly four years after proclaiming that he would shoot every last ounce of it to [[the Moon]].<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>

Note that actual [[Wikipedia:Cherokee people|Cherokees]] did not build [[Wikipedia:Wigwam|wigwams]], and their [[Wikipedia:Calumet (pipe)|ceremonial pipes]] do not resemble [[Wikipedia:Ballpoint pen|ballpoint pens]], but were usually made from clay or bluestone quartzite. It should also be noted that the phrase "smoke um peace pipe" [[Things Chris has ripped off|was originally from]] the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "Where the Buggalo Roam".

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Wigwam
| video = {{#ev:youtube|v_o7hXfk8h0}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Other|[[Tobacky]]}}, {{Other|[[Hypocrisy]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[PlayingHouse]]
| next = [[DayOut#DayOut1|DayOut1]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
[[File:CWC Pipe Stem with black ink.jpg|thumb|100px|A five-pack of CWC-brand tobacky.]]
[''Chris makes weird noises, takes a puff from a ballpoint pen attached to what appears to be either a folded Post-It note or a small sack, makes more weird noises, then hands it to the viewer.'']

[''In a stereotypical [[Native American]] accent''] Here, smoke um [[Wikipedia:Calumet (pipe)|peace pipe]], find [[Chris and anger|inner peace]]!
{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[PlayingHouse]]|nextlink=[[DayOut]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-25 c]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-25 c]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-25 c]]

A Workout

2016-01-01T03:58:00Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''A Workout''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 19 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris appears to have stuffed his [[muscle bra]] again and performs [[Chris_and_health#Exercise|a workout routine]] to "Ass 'N' Titties" by [[Wikipedia:DJ Assault|DJ Assault]], specifically a [[YouTube]] video which includes dancing by various ''World of Warcraft'' characters. Most would assume this is [[I AM STRONG|yet another attempt]] for Chris to prove that he is not obese and is actually [[chris and health|very athletic]], but his display is not very convincing.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Workout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RRNSnltH1i4}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
| next = [[SonichuBabies]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
'''''0:00-0:10''' Video starts with Chris putting on Ass 'n' Titties by DJ Assault. Chris faces the camera with his stuffed [[muscle bra]] and starts [[Chris and health|exercising]] by punching spastically in time to the beats. ''

'''''0:11-0:24''' He then begins doing his version of jumping jacks.''

'''''0:25-0:59''' Chris starts swaying his hips from side to side before doing several [[CWC Fighter|Chun Li kicks]]. He noticeably begins to slow down here but continues on and adds spastic punches as well.''

'''''1:00-1:27''' He starts twisting side to side with stuffed muscle bra in full view. [[Slow in the minds|Chris loses the beat]] of the track at this point.''

'''''1:28-1:54''' Next up he starts stretching his arms to the ground and back up. Though he speeds up again for a few seconds, he goes back to slow relatively quickly.''

'''''1:55-2:11''' Chris starts stretching his arms down each arm individually.''

'''''2:12-2:19''' Here he stretches out his back with his [[Obesity|fat autistic gut]] on display.''

'''''2:20-2:43''' Next he begins twisting side to side again momentarily before doing jumping jacks again with poor posture.''

'''''2:44-3:05''' Begins punching again, taking a brief look at his screen. Starts punching side to side.''

'''''3:06-3:23''' Chris twists side to side again, this time with his arms open and being twice as slow as the rhythm.''

'''''3:24-3:29''' Punches upwards and then back forwards. Music stops. Chris faces the camera and gropes his own man tits.''

Feel her boobies!

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ5-iZYHBEc The video in the background]</s> DELETED
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=[[SonichuBabies]]}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-19]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-19]]

Pregnant Act

2016-01-01T03:53:15Z

Crabcmdo: /* The Remake */

[[File:JuniorMoviePoster.png|thumb|The upcoming blockbuster movie]]
{{Quote|I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture!|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>}}
'''Pregnant Act''' is a creepy video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The scene begins with what amounts to a [[Chris and reality|biologically impossible]] (on multiple levels) self-impregnation, Chris having received what is presumably [[Jackie]]'s egg cell, which he has fertilized with his own [[navy]]. The 'pregnancy' is given form by padding under Chris's shirt, including the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]].

Having effectively screwed himself, the next scene has Chris on his back, futilely attempting to right himself. Next comes the birthing scene, Chris now pointing the camera at his own crotch, and completing the birth by tossing a [[Li'l Chris|teddy bear]] onto his knees.

Finally, Chris has his stomach exposed, and the plush breasts stuffed down his [[Muscle bra|sports bra]], while he forces the bear to suckle from his teat. The "newborn baby" then says its first words.
[[File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg|thumb|right|An high school essay in which Chris wrote about how it would feel to be pregnant]]

Chris removed the video the following day, and uploaded a newly recorded version shortly after.

The video was inspired by the supposed travails of [[Jackie]]'s aunt and uncle.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref> It is also perhaps coincidental that a 2015 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' entitled "Stewie is Enceinte" is about Stewie injecting himself with Brian's DNA, getting pregnant and giving birth through all his orifices to bizarre half-human half-dog hybrids, despite the fact that he is a baby.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yz4RT_KP3Zk}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}, {{K-SwissShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2281]]
| next = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
}}

{{quote|I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's female!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:128747284554.png|thumb|Artist's rendition]]

Oh my god... look at me! Huh! My girlfriend reverse-impregnated me! [[Honor roll|The egg came out of her, and got into me!]] When we were having sexxxsss... oh my gosh. Goodness... [''camera fumbling then jump cut'']

Hm. Ugh. Goodness it's difficult to get up these days, with number one in the way. Oof! Little heavy made me fall down. Made me fall down! [''camera fumbling''] Maybe I try... and see if get up. Oop! I fell down again! [''mumbling''] Let me tell you... oof! Ahh! [''grunts, then jump cut'']

Oh my goodness, it's a big one! [''grunts, strains, and mumbles''] Must watch breath... one two three! [''gasps''] EEeeaaahhhhgh! Ah! [''throws a stuffed bear onto lap''] Well! Congratulate me! I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|female]]! Goodness... wow. [''jump cut'']

It's baby's open that's right little child. Eat all you want out of there. You eat all you want out of there. [''an electronic toy says "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Ha! First w-her first words! [[30 August 2009|We]] love you too!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2281]]|nextlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]}}

==The Remake==
Chris removed the original video on 19 October, and uploaded a new version of the video shortly after. Now with improved lighting, and a more detailed explanation. And more creepiness, too.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TG21KvHC8gE}}
| stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
| next = [[A Workout]]
}}

{{quote|Little baby's drinking my breast milk. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya?}}

=== Transcript ===

Oh my goodness [[Chris and English|me look at this]] I had sex with my girlfriend and it backfired on me, can’t believe this. Her egg went inside my [[Duck|dick]] and now it’s- now it’s been in me for like 9 months.

Engh man I’m gonna get these stretch marks in a little while…ummgh dang. egh [[Obesity|laying down it’s hard for me to get back up again]]. Eeeaauuh, ung ung ung! Ehh! Well that was a major push, hope I didn’t lose it there! Erro here come- aaa ahhh think [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it’s coming out the butt]]…think it’s coming out the - aaaaa one two three one two three. Engh! Engh! ENNGGHHHHHAAA!

Well will you look at that, I gave birth to a beautiful baby... girl bear! [''Chris has his shirt pulled up, exposing his muscle bra and pale fish-belly, the bear is pressed up against the plush breasts''] You- no- little baby's drinking my [[Navy|breast milk]]. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya? My lil- my lil girl.

[''an electronic toy says "I-I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Hmm...

==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]|nextlink=[[A Workout]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18]]

A Public Announcement for Congress

2016-01-01T03:50:37Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:CWCforprez2012.jpg|thumb|300px|Today [[CWCville]], tomorrow [[United States of America|America]]!]]

'''A Public Announcement for Congress''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The "for Congress" part apparently represents some confusion or misconception, because the video actually consists of a stump speech directed at the American people, outlining the policies Chris would advance if he were President.

== Summary ==

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[Monthly tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob Chandler|senior]] [[Barbara Chandler|citizens]] and [[Inos|the homeless]], while also proposing that taxes be slashed to half of their current rates. In addition, he suggests that all guns should go to the [[jerkops|police]], and the citizenry could only be armed in case of an attack by [[Molvania|another nation]] or [[Chris and reality|another planet]].

Though he's billed himself before as a "moderate," most of his prescriptions come from the extremes of the political spectrum: a massive welfare state (extreme left), massive tax cuts (extreme right), restriction on free speech and confiscation of all firearms (extreme in any case, not to mention a violation of both the First and Second Amendments). His stance on gay rights is reasonably moderate, however. [[Homos|Gay people]] would be accepted in his [[CWCVille|Utopian society]], so long as he didn't have to notice that they exist.

In yet [[Twin Falling Towers|another display]] of Chris's patriotism, he calls the [[United States of America|United States]] the United Nations, and refers to it as a city. Whether this is him wanting to expand his control to other nations or a legitimate mistake is unknown.

It's also worth noting that under Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 of the United States Constitution, Chris is currently ineligible to run for President, because he is not old enough.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_5:_Qualifications_for_office]</ref>

Chris also refers to the Internet as a wireless entity, believing that his tiny WiFi access point has the power to beam his videos across the entire planet.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| video = {{#ev:youtube|OhqFeTAHCo8}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Politics}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| previous = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
| next = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Dope1.jpg|thumb|CWC [[2008]]]]

Good evening, friends. As your presidential candidate, I will now state how I feel [''Chris makes an odd kicking motion.''], what we can do to improve this, [[United States of America|these nations, these states]]. For one thing, we got so many [[Inos|poor people out on the streets]]. I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have soup beds. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS! So that there would be a bed for every homeless person until they can get back up on their own feet. Also, lower taxes. I will propose [[Monthly Tugboat|lower taxes]], and we shall not have to pay so much. Five percent is okay, but why not two point five percent? And we will not cut off any benefits for the [[Bob|old]] [[Barb|people]]. They are good. And we shall give them plenty of money so they can afford the medications and services to keep them alive, because we do not pay for when we are sick, we pay for our [[Chris and health|good health!]] And we only pay after we're healthy. We're in good health. We pay to stay alive, we do not pay to die.

And, speaking of which, too much [[Sonichu 10|violence]] goes on within these city streets. I will propose only [[gun]] distribution to the official authority, which shall be the post-, which shall be within the [[Jerkops|police departments]]. Nowhere else. And all guns owned by locals, community people, shall be taken away. At least the bullets. When the bullets are necessary, or when there is an outbreak of violence from another [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|nation]] or [[Chris and reality|planet]], then we shall issue the bullets. At all-, at free stations, to be opened immediately. Otherwise we'll send in our special troops. Our [[Chaotic Combo|special force]].

[''A long pause, where Chris becomes visibly agitated.'']

And also [''another pause''], we will be okay to have the gays [''He noticeably grimaces.''] within our community, we will be okay to have the gays within our community. In all states! There will be gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations. I mean, keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody, 'cause mup- the- mag- [[Family Guy|what may be right for you, may not be right for most. For some. You take the good from the bad and then you get an opening statement like mine.]]

[[Chris and reality|People need to appreciate life, so we will not have to face death]]. [[Autism|I lost my train of thought there]], but that's okay. I am only human! We are all human! I am a noble, [[honest]] person. No matter what [[Trolls|e'erbody else]] may say, even on the Internet, and my opponent, [[Clyde Cash|Señor Cachez de Clyyyyde]]. He tells liiies about me! And so do the trolls that have be-trolled me over the Internet. Their jeers, and non-cheers, do not go appreciated. Because it is not everybody who can take a joke. Even when it's at their own expense.

And with that, I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, [[Wikipedia:Big Brother (Nineteen Eighty-Four)|and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters around these United States]]. [[Wikipedia:Macon_Phillips#Political_Career|Any repor-, any troll activity that you may be suspicious of an individual, you report to your local authority]]! And they will tell, and then they will inform the local FBI station within that state. And then they will investigate thoroughly! Over the wireless that is called the Internet! And they will [[Wikipedia:Simple_Mail_Transfer_Protocol#Security_and_spamming|trace the e-mails back to the origin home address or location]]. And they will be apprehended and fined or sentenced, depending on how CRUEL they are to the [[Alec|victim]].

I stand strong, I stand firm, I AM A NOBLE LEADER! And if I am elected, I will do my best to keep our America strong and sound, and not go down the drain. I'm sorry, [[Obama]], I did vote for you, but [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|I gotta agree with my father]], you are bringing us, somuss- some of the situations downhill. But I have nothing against you because I did vote for you. And I liked your documentary on A&E. I would [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|shake your hand]] at the first opportunity I would to meet you, Mr. President.

And thou- er- fore, I shall conclude my opening statement. In the candisacy of the President, I say, I will do my best! And I am not lazy! Thank you.

This ad is not real. I'm not being, going to be elected President, but I tell the truth nonetheless of what I would do if I were to become President. Thank you.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan Political Ad
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8ojhq6qnBrE}}
| maker = DrNurse
| stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| type = PSA
}}

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Vitameatavegamin]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Public Announcement For Congress}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]

Vitameatavegamin

2016-01-01T03:48:22Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Vitameatavegamin''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris repeats, almost verbatim, a well-known bit from the ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' TV show, where Lucy hawked a patent medicine.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Vitameatavegamin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sKdNSalZUJU}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
| next = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris walks on camera and waves cheerfully.'']

Hello, friends! I'm your Vitameatavegamin man! Are you tired, [[Chris and health|run-down]], [[Stress|listless]]? [[Chris and English|D'yapoopaparties]]?!
[''He waves his head around in a circle.'']

Are you [[Chris|unpopular]]? The answer to all your problems... in this little bottle!

[''He picks up a bottle of vitamin pills.'']

Vitameatavegamin! Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, [[Pickle|vegetables]] and minerals! Yes, with Vitameatavegamin you can [[Homos|spoon your way to health]]. Just take one tablespoonful after every meal.

[''He mimes eating a spoonful of the bottle's contents.'']

It's so tasty, too! It tastes just like [[Fanta|can-daay]]! So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin TA-MORROW! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

[''He puts down the bottle and walks off camera.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 d]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 d]]

Gilligan Be or Not

2016-01-01T03:43:55Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Gilligan Be or Not''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. Chris performs a soliloquy of sorts from the TV show ''[[Gilligan's Island]]''.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Gilligan Be or Not
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NJOB7VlGLis}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
| next = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris appears, humming a fanfare of some sort before proceeding to sing]''

Parumpumpum. I ask to be or not to be, A rogue or peasant slave is what you see. [[Chris|A boy who loved his mother’s knee]], and so I ask to be or not to be. So here’s my [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea]], I [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|beg]] of thee, and say you [[White knight|see a little hope for me]]. To fight or flee, to fight or flee, I ask myself to be or not to be. I as to be or not to be, that is the question that I ask of me. Ask you can see, as you can see, that is the question that I ask of me. I am curious, where I should be, (and what is our community?) To fight or flee, to fight or flee? I ask myself to be or noooootttt to be? Parumpumpuuuum.

''[Raises arm]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]|nextlink=[[Vitameatavegamin]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 b]]

Breast Cancer Awareness

2016-01-01T03:39:21Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Breast Cancer Awareness''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. Chris has stuffed his [[muscle bra]], likely with the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]] as seen in his [[Pregnant Act|previous video]], and speaks for a few moments about the dangers of breast cancer.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Breast Cancer Awareness
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KgL4AlPkDx4}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Breast cancer}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[Pregnant Act]]
| next = [[Gilligan Be or Not]]
}}

{{quote|Seriously though folks|Chris, while wearing fake breasts, immediately before making three innapropriate jokes about breast cancer.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:CWC tits.jpg|thumb|Hey. Hey hey. Hey! Eyes up here, budde-]]

[''Chris is sitting in his kitchen with his shirt obviously padded to make it appear like he has very large breasts. The radio or television is playing loudly in the background.'']

Seriously, though, folks, there is something else that you should be aware of [''He scratches his nose and glances off-screen.''] you know, breast cancer. You know what that's both us both males and females, regardless of size. [''He adjusts his fake breasts, pauses, then chuckles briefly.'']

Anyway, make yourselves aware of this. You should feel your tatas. [''Cups his own fake breasts, then delivers a [[creepy stare]] at the camera.''] Feel your breasts. Check to see if you have any lumps, they could be breast cancer. You never know. If you suspect breast cancer, go get yourself checked out with a doctor. Breast cancer awareness. [''Draws a ribbon in the air with his fingertip.''] Pink ribbon.

[''Cuts to a closeup on his chest, fake breasts still intact. Radio/TV is no longer in the background.'']

Hey. Hey hey. Hey! [''He grabs the camera, pointing it towards his face.''] [[Random access humor|Eyes up here, buddy]]-[''Feed cuts before he finishes speaking.'']

=== Items in Chris's kitchen ===

The following items are present in this video:

* [[Chris]].
* Various pots and pans.
* Disposable fast food drink containers piled up on top of plates.
* A mountain of presumably unwashed dishes and cookware covering almost half the window. The giant mound spills out past the window and well around the corner of the bench. No cutting space or space to prepare food is visible.
* One perfectly cylindrical object emblazoned with a Mountain Dew label.
* Plastic bags, some apparently still containing matter.
* Two chairs or movable set of draws, both covered in junk.
* A potted plant sits atop the cupboard. Due to its healthy, uniform bright green color despite living in a trash heap on a high shelf with no access to sunlight or water, [[trolls|top men]] are certain it is fake.
* Paper plates still smeared with some kind of off-yellow food are clearly visible sitting near the two fast-food drink containers atop a mountain of rubbish. Could be an overflowing bin.
* A purple box of tissues right beside/behind the microwave in the far left corner.
* Various knick-knacks on a small shelf obscure another part of the window; coupled with Mount Trashheap, this almost completely obscures the window.
* ...

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18 b]]
[[Category:Kitchen videos| 2010-10-18 b]]

Pregnant Act

2016-01-01T03:35:53Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:JuniorMoviePoster.png|thumb|The upcoming blockbuster movie]]
{{Quote|I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture!|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>}}
'''Pregnant Act''' is a creepy video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The scene begins with what amounts to a [[Chris and reality|biologically impossible]] (on multiple levels) self-impregnation, Chris having received what is presumably [[Jackie]]'s egg cell, which he has fertilized with his own [[navy]]. The 'pregnancy' is given form by padding under Chris's shirt, including the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]].

Having effectively screwed himself, the next scene has Chris on his back, futilely attempting to right himself. Next comes the birthing scene, Chris now pointing the camera at his own crotch, and completing the birth by tossing a [[Li'l Chris|teddy bear]] onto his knees.

Finally, Chris has his stomach exposed, and the plush breasts stuffed down his [[Muscle bra|sports bra]], while he forces the bear to suckle from his teat. The "newborn baby" then says its first words.
[[File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg|thumb|right|An high school essay in which Chris wrote about how it would feel to be pregnant]]

Chris removed the video the following day, and uploaded a newly recorded version shortly after.

The video was inspired by the supposed travails of [[Jackie]]'s aunt and uncle.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref> It is also perhaps coincidental that a 2015 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' entitled "Stewie is Enceinte" is about Stewie injecting himself with Brian's DNA, getting pregnant and giving birth through all his orifices to bizarre half-human half-dog hybrids, despite the fact that he is a baby.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yz4RT_KP3Zk}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}, {{K-SwissShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2281]]
| next = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
}}

{{quote|I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's female!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:128747284554.png|thumb|Artist's rendition]]

Oh my god... look at me! Huh! My girlfriend reverse-impregnated me! [[Honor roll|The egg came out of her, and got into me!]] When we were having sexxxsss... oh my gosh. Goodness... [''camera fumbling then jump cut'']

Hm. Ugh. Goodness it's difficult to get up these days, with number one in the way. Oof! Little heavy made me fall down. Made me fall down! [''camera fumbling''] Maybe I try... and see if get up. Oop! I fell down again! [''mumbling''] Let me tell you... oof! Ahh! [''grunts, then jump cut'']

Oh my goodness, it's a big one! [''grunts, strains, and mumbles''] Must watch breath... one two three! [''gasps''] EEeeaaahhhhgh! Ah! [''throws a stuffed bear onto lap''] Well! Congratulate me! I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|female]]! Goodness... wow. [''jump cut'']

It's baby's open that's right little child. Eat all you want out of there. You eat all you want out of there. [''an electronic toy says "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Ha! First w-her first words! [[30 August 2009|We]] love you too!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2281]]|nextlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]}}

==The Remake==
Chris removed the original video on 19 October, and uploaded a new version of the video shortly after. Now with improved lighting, and a more detailed explanation. And more creepiness, too.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|N9XfL8cRoo0}}
| stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
| next = [[A Workout]]
}}

{{quote|Little baby's drinking my breast milk. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya?}}

=== Transcript ===

Oh my goodness [[Chris and English|me look at this]] I had sex with my girlfriend and it backfired on me, can’t believe this. Her egg went inside my [[Duck|dick]] and now it’s- now it’s been in me for like 9 months.

Engh man I’m gonna get these stretch marks in a little while…ummgh dang. egh [[Obesity|laying down it’s hard for me to get back up again]]. Eeeaauuh, ung ung ung! Ehh! Well that was a major push, hope I didn’t lose it there! Erro here come- aaa ahhh think [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it’s coming out the butt]]…think it’s coming out the - aaaaa one two three one two three. Engh! Engh! ENNGGHHHHHAAA!

Well will you look at that, I gave birth to a beautiful baby... girl bear! [''Chris has his shirt pulled up, exposing his muscle bra and pale fish-belly, the bear is pressed up against the plush breasts''] You- no- little baby's drinking my [[Navy|breast milk]]. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya? My lil- my lil girl.

[''an electronic toy says "I-I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Hmm...

==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]|nextlink=[[A Workout]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18]]

100 2281

2016-01-01T03:30:27Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

{{Quote|You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!|Chris}}
'''100 2281''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 15 [[October 2010]]. In it, he shows us how he acts when [[Alcohol|drunk]], guzzling down [[Wikipedia:Kahlúa|Kahlúa]] with great abandon, mocking [[Jackie]]'s ex [[Lars]] and dressing up and speaking like a "a parody of the current young [[Niggos|black]] [[JERKS|dude]]."<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

Jackie had to persuade Chris to do this as he had [[Chris and money|blown most of his monthly budget]] in ten days and was reluctant to buy Kahlúa on top of that.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

Note that this video takes place in [[Chris's kitchen]], and visible in the background is the [[Christmas]] tree seen in the [[Tour of Chris's House]] in [[March 2009]].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2281
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qFZ-I7143bk}}
| stardate = 15 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt =
| location = [[Chris's kitchen|La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]
| previous = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]
| next = [[Pregnant Act]]
}}

{{quote|I loves my woman, and I loves the pussy. }}

=== Transcript ===

[''Chris is sitting down in front of the computer in his family's kitchen. He has a [[Adam Stackhouse|colorful bandana]] wrapped around his head, and holds a bottle of Kahlúa coffee liqueur in his right hand. He appears to be trying to act like a [[niggo]], and ends up looking like a drunk fuck.'']

Hey, yo, [[Lars]] m'man, wud on th' street y'is... Y'all... buh- Word on the street here is, y'all trying to ju- mi-, tryin' to misjudge me wit' dat dang old jivin' lingo dat the [[trolls]] been using. You calling me a god-dang [[homos|yomosettsual]], I tell you what, bro, that ain't the truth. I'm straight, man, I was born straight. I loves my woman, and I loves the [[china|pussy]].

[''He takes a swig from the bottle, then winces and grimaces before returning to his rant.'']

And this aka-chaka coffee ya drink, huh... Tell you what, if that be... If that was considered equivalent to an aka-chaka milk, I tell ya, that's jive, man. And then y'all drank, y'all drank, man... [''He waves the bottle towards the camera.''] You [[Son-Chu|drivin']]! You jivin'!

I mean, if you haddita, I mean... C'mon man, you go and dang...[''brief pause'']...go put your boats over [[Jackie]] like dat. Dat's straight down, yo. [''Gives two thumbs down.''] Thuuuumbs down. You ain't got nuthin', bro. You got nuthin'. So quit trying to win Jackie back with them got-dang lies those trolls come up with. You know what? That just makes you one of them. And they be trollin' you back. They troll you back, [[Patti-Chan|dawg]].

[''Chris pauses again.'']

You think about that. You think about dat, you jive-ass turkey!

[''He reaches up and turns off the camera.'']

===Translation for Those Who Don't Speak Slang===

Hey, Lars. I hear you're misjudging me using harsh language much like that used by trolls. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight and have been since birth. I love women and, therefore, love vagina. I scoff at this acacia coffee you drink. If you want to imply that my Kahlúa is an equivalent to acacia milk, well that's just false. You cared more about your boats than you cared about Jackie. You have no ammunition in this fight. I suggest you stop trying to win back Jackie's heart using the lies perpetuated by the trolls. In fact, I'd say that you were trying to be one of them, but they may just end up trolling you. Reflect on these words, good sir.

==Sources==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]|nextlink=[[Pregnant Act]]}}
{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest|2010-10-15]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010|2010-10-15]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos|2010-10-15]]

I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat

2016-01-01T03:25:09Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

{{Quote|I can definitely do a british accent.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>}}

'''I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 14 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris dresses as a wizard (wearing his graduation gown)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref> in the [[Harry Potter]] universe and "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|casts spells]]" on an assortment of people who have wronged him. He said he would draw a lightning-bolt scar, but the video is [[Chris and camerawork|too dark to see if he did so]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

The video was made for [[Jackie]], who wanted the title to be "I put on my robe and wizard hat"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>, in reference to an old meme.<ref>[http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja Bloodninja: I put on my robe and wizard hat...]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9kyEejFPLKU}}
| stardate = 14 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2279‎]]
| next = [[100 2281‎]]
}}

{{quote|Ericcus trollisus ericcus bustisus!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|100px|[[Bob Chandler]] puts on ''his'' [[Chris and Race#Parental influence|Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]]]

[''Chris comes into view, wearing a robe over his shirt and waving his PlayStation Move controller. He's heavily backlit, so we mainly just see his silhouette.'']

Aye, I have been in the world of Hogwarts and I have a learned a spell or two, and I shall [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cast ye spell]].

[''He makes some motions with the Move controller.'']

On all ye vandals out there, who have cursed my name. For I am a straight man! And you all are the homosexuals, because you mislabel me and misjudge me. And now you shall be [[Chris and English|bespelled, and be spelled!]]

[''He pauses to wave his wand some more.'']

You speak ill of me and you speak of bad judgment, you shall have a pain in the leg! Ericcus trollisus ericcus bustisus!

[''Having finished his incantation, Chris leans over and turns off the camera.'']

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{-}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2279‎]]|nextlink=[[100 2281‎]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-14]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-14]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-14]]

100 2279

2016-01-01T03:23:15Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''100 2279''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 12 [[October 2010]], in which he holds a ''[[Cleveland Show]]'' DVD case to his face and talks about buying computers, impersonating Cleveland (poorly) throughout. He then apologizes for making a "considerably [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|weak]] video."

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2279
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0jnUa7hONPY}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}},{{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2277]]
| next = [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]
}}

{{quote|I apologize for this considerably weak video.}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Video opens with Chris stepping away from the camera and holding up a Cleveland Show DVD case to his face due to lack of a mask]''

''[Attempting to impersonate Cleveland]'' Good evenin' ladies and gentlemen my name is Cleveland Brown!

And I come to the American viewers from Circuit City! Circuit City! There's one left! Come find us!

Oh and also, you know, between Roberta and everybody else is my family we bought eMachines and Dell computers! And guess what? We were able to enjoy them for so long that they ended up falling apart quickly! And den we used the parts to put together our own little cart racing devices and everything! Hooray for the Browns and Tubbses! We drove our own drag race car in da' race and we did all dis fun stuff cuz' we're pre-tty much American! This is what we do! I'm not saying that us Americans are bad, but 'dis is where we are and 'dis is how our minds work d'ese days! Ba-da-ba-da-baba!

''[Chris begins singing]''

My name is Cleveland Brown and I am proud to be right back in my old home town with my new family. They's old friends and new friends and even a [[bear]]! (His name is Tim!) Through good times and bad times. It's true love we share-- And so I found a place where every-- everyone will know my happy mustached face! This is the Cleveland Show! Heh heh heh heh!

''[Chris stops singing]''

I apologize for today's video for being very ba-- or weak considerably. Uh, I didn't have an idea at the time.

''[Chris wiggles the DVD in front of his face]''

I apologize. ''[Chris removes the DVD and uses his normal voice]'' I apologize for this [[I AM STRONG|considerably weak]] video.

Have a good day.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2277]]|nextlink=[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-12 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-12 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-12 b]]

100 2277

2016-01-01T03:21:48Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:Thecwcstonesportrait01.jpg|thumb|We'll have a [[Homos|gay]] old time!]]

'''100 2277''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 12 [[October 2010]] in which he dresses as [[Wikipedia:Fred Flintstone|Fred Flintstone]], then [[cosplay]]s as [[Wikipedia:Homer Simpson|Homer Simpson]] cosplaying as Fred.

Right away, the viewer is bombarded with a badly-paced attempt by Chris to [[Chris and Music#Singing|sing]] the theme to ''[[Wikipedia:The Flintstones|The Flintstones]]''. The resulting voice is more along the lines of a frog who sings only in flats than anything else. His latest costume is a even simpler version of Fred's one-piece toga/loincloth outfit: a single sheet of orange construction paper with black dots scribbled on it.

After an obligatory [[Random-access humor|stolen quote]], he sings an equally bad rendition of ''[[The Simpsons]]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmP_t4_lpzo parody of the song], complete with a "mask" of Homer's face.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2277
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4vYcsc-kl3E}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Television|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}},{{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00002]]
| next = [[100 2279]]
}}

{{quote|We'll have a [[gay]] old time!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:ChrisFlintstone.png|thumb|300px|Possible descendant of Fred Flintstone?]]

[''Chris puts on a terrible accent.'']

Yabba, dabba, ''doo!''

[''Chris shows a toy of the Flintstones' Stone Age car, and plays with it throughout the video, as if it was being driven through the air'']

Sim—Flint-stones, meeet the Flint-stones, they're the modern [[Bob|Stone Age]] famileee!
From the, town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of hisss-store-eee!

Let's ride, with the family down the street,
Through the, courtesy of Fred's two feet! [''Chris's fingers mime a waking action in front of the toy'']

[''Short pause'']

When you're, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba-dabba-doo-time,
Dabba doo-time, [''Chris's "costume" begins to fall, distracting him from singing'']
[''Mumbled''], We'll have a [[gay]] old time!

[''Mercifully drops the accent'']

[[Monty Python|And now for something... ''suh-lightly'' different!]]

[''Chris adopts a new accent, covering his face with a crude smiley face mask'']
Yabba, dabba''aahh'', doo!

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in hiss-store-eee!
From the, town of Springfield;
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!

[''Chris pulls out an accessory to the yellow mask: an accompanying mouth to:'']
''YAAAAAAAAAH!''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00002]]|nextlink=[[100 2279]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-12]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-12]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-12]]

ECV 00002

2016-01-01T03:20:55Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:ChrisChanTechnologyMR.jpg|thumb|How Chris uses science and technology to achieve his ultimate transformation.]]
{{Quote|I was actually surprised on how my torso would look blue, then after I painted my face, before the headwear, I reminded myself of the Marvel superhero [[wikipedia:Nightcrawler (comics)|Nightcrawler]]|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>}}

'''ECV 00002''' is a video uploaded on 10 [[October 2010]] in which [[Chris]] uses the power of [[Random Access Humor]] and jump cuts to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his Super-Mode]]. [[Jackie]] requested this video two days prior.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>

The results are mixed; Chris at least attempts to use the same pose and positioning before and after the jump cut, but this baby step towards competence is overshadowed by a [[retard]]-fall back by the slip-shod cosplay self-paint job. An odd, incomplete white field over most of his face meant to resemble [[Sonic]]/[[Sonichu]]-style eyes, a cone-ear constructed out of construction paper (which regularly falls off, despite Chris's lack of movement), and a white "chest-fur" patch, which is supposed to be an outline of the [[Medallion of Fail]] only serve to further damage Chris's physical appearance.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00002
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Z1EiG1v7kG4}}
| stardate = 10 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}, Body paint
| previous = [[A Hike]]
| next = [[100 2277]]
}}

{{quote|At least I am doing this and... I have myself a woman, so there.}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, folks! Hm. Well, [[Monty Python|and now for something completely different]]. [[Electric hedgehog]] [[power]]! PEW!

[''Jump cut. Chris is now dressed as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. The transformation straightens his back, lowers and bends his arms, and moves a few items in the background'']

Pew. [''Chris-chan Sonichu's right ear begins to fall off''] This would be me in my super mode! [''Chris puts the right ear back on''] ...if I actually had the super powers! [''The right ear falls off yet again, but is put back in place''] [[Chris and reality|But I don't in real life.]] But I dressed up like this anyway, to, I don't know, [''The same ear falls off yet again, promptly readjusted''] just to say something or just to have fun.

Anyway, live an [[Honest content|honest life]], don't [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]], don't [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|badmouth people]]... It's just not cool. You know? Don't pic- don't torture me. At least I am doing this and... I have myself a woman, [[Chris and his Ego|so there]]. So she'll appreciate this very much. She appreciates almo- everything I do for her. [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|Especially these videos]].

[[Jackie]], I [[love]] you. I want to hold you in my arms, [[sweetheart]]. You come over right on here and we'll [[Chris and sex|do each other]] right. [[Sex tape|Sweet times]]...

[''Pause.'']

Alright, anyway, stay in school, stay well... um... you know. Just live [[Chris and English|rife]] peace- live peacefully. Don't take- don't [[Chris and anger|be angry at people]]. Don't be mean. OK? A'ight. Take care.

==Fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Henshin
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MPeuSdTo0NI}}
| maker = rba718
| stardate = 10 [[October 2010]]
| type = }}

==Fan art==

<gallery>
File:Hpowers.jpg|Electric furry powers!
File:128678188337.png
File:128677654690.jpg
</gallery>
==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Hike]]|nextlink=[[100 2277]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-10]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-10]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-10]]

A Hike

2016-01-01T03:20:14Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

{{Quote|i believe in you. you're my little mountain man! but chris, think of how manly you'll be for me when you conquer that trail!|[[Jackie]]<ref name="JackieChat6">[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}
[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello]]
'''A Hike''' is a video Chris uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]]. As part of Chris's commitment with Jackie to make a video for each day in October, Jackie suggested Chris film himself hiking in the [[Wikipedia:Blue Ridge Mountains|Blue Ridge Mountains]], though Chris was too cheap to go there (he had been there with [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] using his "[[Wikipedia:Free travel pass|Seinor pass]]"<ref name="JackieChat6"/><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 17]]</ref>). [[The Miscreants|Top men]] calculate that the filming took place at the Saunders-Monticello Trail.<ref>[http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html]</ref>

The result is a rare video that sees Chris active during the day ''and'' outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requiring all the energy he can muster]]. In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|"Parkay" video]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point.

==Description==
{{EmailReply|I took a hike.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EHCdKOTNpEg}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = [[ECV 00002]]
}}

{{quote|I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and its revels.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Chris' River.jpg|thumb||What could be a 2ft stream, Chris considers a river]]
[[File:Mississipi River.jpg|thumb|The Mississippi River is 20-30ft wide]]
[[File:Chris' river 2.jpg|thumb||right|What could be a tiny creek, Chris considers a BIG river]]
[[File:Ohio River.jpg|right|thumb|The Ohio River is one mile wide]]
[[File:Ditch.jpg|thumb|What could be a 5ft deep ditch, Chris considers a chasm]]
[[File:Purgatory Chasm.jpg|thumb|A real chasm]]
[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

'''0:00-0:14''' ''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''[[wikipedia:OFF!|OFF!]]'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

'''0:15-0:27''' Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|my congregation]] and I visited one past Sunday

'''0:27-0:35''' ''[Chris walks up to the stage of the theater and pans the camera around the sitting area]''

'''0:35-0:38''' ...and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a bit.

''[Jump cut, Chris is standing still.]''

'''0:38-0:55''' Annuder trail has gone esplored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check in in a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

'''0:55-1:10''' Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. [[Random-access humor|Which could be a river, if there was more water in it]].

''[Jump cut, [[Chris and health|Chris's heavy breathing]] is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

'''1:10-1:31''' Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank.

'''1:31-2:01''' ''[Prolonged gasping for air]''

'''2:01-2:21''' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. [[Obesity|A really big stick]]. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and its mold.

'''2:21-2:51''' ''[Chris continues breathing heavily]''

'''2:53-3:03''' ''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

'''3:03-3:29''' ''[Chris continues his way up the trail, struggling for air]''

'''3:30-3:43''' It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail

'''3:43-3:56''' ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

'''3:56-4:04''' Huh, another tree fallen. [[Chris_and_music#Singing|''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin']]. Cut up chucks.

'''4:04-4:14''' ''[Chris takes a pause from his narration again]''

'''4:14-4:55''' Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open for play by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, many more. I think we go this way in the fork of the road. Other way goes back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by its wondrous past.

'''4:55-5:01''' Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

'''5:02-5:21''' ''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

'''5:22-5:27''' Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

'''5:28-5:57''' ''[Heavy breathing; Chris burps loudly at '''5:36''']''

'''5:57-6:02''' Goin' up the trail, not down the trail. Goin' up the trail not down the trail.

'''6:02-6:28''' ''[At this point, it's safe to say Chris is about to give up]''

'''6:28-6:46''' I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and its revels. [[Random-access humor|A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.]]

'''6:46-7:33''' ''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air. Chris utters two pained grunts around the '''7:25''' mark.]''

'''7:33-7:38''' Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

'''7:38-8:01''' ''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail. He [[Stress sigh|sighs]] at '''7:56''']''

'''8:01-8:20''' Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

Rest a moment and I'm going to head by to [[Son-Chu|my car]]. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump cut]''

'''8:21-8:30''' Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

'''8:30-8:38''' ''[Chris approaches the overlook and shows a view of plain trees and grass]''

'''8:38-8:47''' Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by [[Wikipedia:Carter Family|the Carter family]].

'''8:47-end''' ''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is flushed, pale, and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.monticello.org/sites/default/files/inline-pdfs/mountaintop_map_0.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — what an average human could walk through in fewer than 15 minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=[[ECV 00002]]}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-09]]

ECV 00001

2016-01-01T03:19:19Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like.

Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] [[Move]] controller and a matching "Navigation Controller". Chris has also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, which causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. As is evident in the video title, the EyeCreate video counter has been reset to 1, due to his [[PS3#The Rebirth|new PS3]].

Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful the Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad]], yet he pulls a 180 near the end by stating how fierce they were and that the [[Death threats|trolls should beware]]. Chris, always sensitive to the plight of minorities, speaks in a stereotypical "kemosabe"-style Indian voice until he starts talking about black people at which point he starts speaking in a hip, urban manner in order to show that he is [[Retarded|"down"]].

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_PlUjOwJl8g}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = | shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

{{quote|We were very peaceful, I tell ya what.}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:TRUE and ORIGINAL Cherokian Man.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
''[Chris is wearing his [[muscle bra]] with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very, very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior. He has his arms crossed over his chest with a PlayStation Move controller in each hand.]''

Me, noble Cherokee man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace...peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within [[Spanish]] history. Some of it was previously, uh, translated, was translated, as can—-found on the [[Wikipedia]] under the term "Cherokee": C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E. [''The first E is barely there because of one of the skips.'']

We were very peaceful, [[wikipedia:King of the Hill|I tell ya what.]] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked, we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as [[Rosechu|slut]]— bartered off as [[Basement Rosechus|slaves]] to the [[Virginia]] and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our [[Chris and Religion#Chris the Shaman|witch doctors]], which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor roll|I forgot memorize it]]. Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my [[Bob Chandler|father's]] side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother, for she comes from the [[Daniel Weston|English clan]], but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail of Tears.

Which, beyond which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered off the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right— thanks to our guys, slavery has abolished altogether, including— including the [[Niggos|black slaves]]. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois.]''

Hey, we're with you on this one, dude, we're with you on this one, dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this [[America]] and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are organizations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennessee. More information on this, as well as our history, on the Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce, though. We were very, very fierce.

But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]. Pew! ''[Pantomimes shooting a bow and arrow.]''

==See also==
* [[War Paint Video]]
* [[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-09]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-09]]

100 2270

2016-01-01T03:18:12Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''100 2270''' is the third of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In it, he does a painful impression of [[Alec Benson Leary]] in a strange, nasal voice in an attempt to mock him. Half the time his insults are [[Chris and English|unintelligible]] and his [[South Park|Eric Cartman]]-like accent makes the problem even worse.

Chris appears to randomly switch impersonations to one of [[Liquid Chris]] about midway through the video without changing his voice at all. He also proceeds to beat the dead horse about not only how Alec put [[Homos|homosexual imagery in Asperchu]], but about how violent Asperchu can be. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|After all, we all know that Sonichu doesn't have]] [[Sonichu 10|gore, violence and needless killing of characters]], right?

Chris continues the trend of using construction paper props, making a facsimile of Liquid Chris's brown-striped shirt. The [[Asperchu Medallion]] makes a reappearance in this video.

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2270
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_pWzqgLde9U}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Liquid|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2269]]
| next = [[ECV 00001]]
}}

{{quote|I am pretending to be Alec Benson Leary! Oh, look at me, I'm Alec! I draw teeeerrribly!}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris's face is partially obscured by darkness due to the lighting in his room. A large piece of cardboard with horizontal orange and grey stripes covers most of his chest. The Asperchu medallion is visible around his neck.]''

''[Odd voice]'' 'Ello, web! This is Christian Weston Chandler 'ere! But I'm no- I'm not really Christian Weston Chandler, and I'm not the creator of Sonichu, because I live, in Philadelphia! I was born in Philadelphia! At least as far as I know. [''switches to an obnoxiously higher-pitched voice''] [[Things Chris has ripped off|I don't have any originality]], or idea points, because I never put up a page of myself... in real life, and still I only mock the real Christian Weston Chandler in Virginia! And now, I am mocking, Alec Benson Leary! ''[grabs Asperchu medallion]'' I am pretending to be Alec Benson Leary! Oh, look at me, I'm Alec! [[Chris and Art|I draw teeeerrribly]], ''[mimes drawing]'' I draw everything in squares, I put [[homos]]exual images in the background, [[Death threats|I kill everybody,]] I put [[Sonichu_10#Forgiveness....3F|gore all over the floor]], blood all over the place! ''[flails arms and shifts from foot to foot]'' I killed the real Christian Weston Chandler, I even killed the orig- I even killed the second dude who pretended to be the original!

''[pauses for breath]''

Anyway, I'm Christian Chandler, I live in Philadelphia, I also have girlfriend! Her name is [[Kacey]], ''[more arm-flailing]'' except we're married now! And [[Chris and his ego|she coulda had the real Christian Weston Chandler]], who lives in Virginia, except I'm just a Christian Chandler who lives in Philadelphia! Now, I'm sorry, [[Honor roll|I didn't mean Philadelphia, I meant to say Pennsylvania!]] Pennsylvania! Where I pretended to be the original Christian Weston Chandler and rent movies from... Blockbuster in Pennsylvaniaaa! And the phone call was sent to the real deal, the real man in Virginia.

Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yaddblahblahblahyahbahblahyablahlalalalalah!

''[Pause]''

[[Britney Spears|Hey baby, hit me one more time!]] I done it from my head! [''pause''] Bye now!

==See also==
*[[100 2267|Chris as Clyde Cash]]
*[[100 2269|Chris as Sgt. Pepper]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2269]]|nextlink=[[ECV 00001]]}}
{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07 c]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07 c]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07 c]]

100 2269

2016-01-01T03:13:29Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''100 2269''' is the second of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris has [[Gitar of Fail]] out again, but this time actually uses it to play The Beatles's "[[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|A Day in the Life]]" on ''[[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|The Beatles: Rock Band]]'', warbling tunelessly along with the track. He mentions [[Jackie]] at least once in the video, saying he will "turn her on". Chris is wearing what appears to be a poorly made replica of [[Wikipedia:Paul McCartney|Paul McCartney]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band|Sgt. Pepper]] costume, crafted in construction paper. He is [[Honor Roll|oblivious]] to the fact that [[Wikipedia:John Lennon|John Lennon]] sang more in this song than Paul McCartney, along with not knowing that "turn you on" at the time the song was written meant to introduce someone to drugs. He's also oblivious to the fact that he [[Pedo-Glasses|lo]][[Obesity|oks]], [[Chris and religion|thinks]], and [[Sonic Boom Protests|ac]][[Death threat|ts]] like [[Wikipedia:Mark David Chapman|the man who killed John Lennon]].
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2269
| video = {{#ev:youtube|P79KTSdU8sU}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| previous = [[100 2267]]
| next = [[100 2270]]
}}

{{quote|I'll spare you the sentiments.}}

=== Transcript ===

''[In a bad Cockney accent, instead of a bad Scouse accent which would be more accurate]'' Hello loves, good evening there. I'm Paul McCartney and I'm going to sing you a song. It's "A Day In The Life". And it is a good day. In the life. Yeah. It's a day for livin', it's a beautiful day over here in [[Virginia]]. Rock on [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|England]]!

''[Mic effect]'' Good evening, loves.

''[Starts playing on the gitar]''

I'll read the news today oh boy 
About a luucky man who made the [[Honor Roll|grade]] 
And though the news was. b... rather sad! 
I just had to laugh 
I saw the photograph 
He blew his mind out in the car 
He didn't notice that the lights had changed 
A crowd of people stood and [[The Creepy Stare|stared]] 
[[Ego|They'd seen his face before]] 
Nobody was really sure... he from... House of Lords... the Lords

I saw a film today oh boy 
The English army had just won the war 
A crowd of people turned away 
But I just had to look 
Haa..ving read the [[How to Talk to Girls|book]] 

I love to tuuuurn youuu oon...

Woo...

''[Chris misses many notes in the solo]''

Woke- Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across myy [[hair|head]]... 
Found my way downstairs and drank a [[Fanta|cup]] 
And looking up I had a tickle...uh...huh...huh (?) 
Found my coat and grabbed my hat 
Made the [[Sonichu's Edge|bus in seconds flat]] 
Found my way upstairs and had a [[tobacky|smoke]], 
and Somebody spoke and said...eh...uh 

Aahhaaahhhhhahahaaaaaaahhh

I read the news today oh boy 
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire 
And though the holes were rather small 
They had to count them all 
Now they know how many holes to fill the Bert Hall 
I'd love to turn you on 

Yeah Jackie, [[For J-R's Eyes Only|I'd love to turn you on]] too girl. ''[Chuckles]''

''[Plays to the end, pointlessly hitting the whammy bar]''

[[Stress|Longest note you've ever heard, huh? I wish it would end already... Jeez, will ya end already ya dang note?]]

''[At 5:23 a high-pitched feedback noise can be heard, which lasts till the end of the video.]''

''[Goes to turn camera off]''

I'll spare you the sentiments.

==See also==
*[[100 2267|Chris as Clyde Cash]]
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2267]]|nextlink=[[100 2270]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07 b]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07 b]]

100 2267

2016-01-01T03:10:51Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris attempts to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by doing an overblown impression of him. He dresses up in [[Blackface|orangeface]], and tries to copy Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back. The theme suddenly changes when "Clyde" starts rambling about how he deserves to die.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|3k2jcmUt9Ow}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

{{quote|Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the [[internet]] and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] ''[voice begins to break]'' who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Speech impediment|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Chris and sex#Rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent garbage.com|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]'' Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Chris and death|Kill me now! Kill me now,]] [[Chris and religion|I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore!]] [[Autism|Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]
*[[Don't Mess With Me]], a previous video where Chris acts as Clyde Cash

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07]]

100 2265

2016-01-01T03:09:03Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:Robble.jpg|thumb|left|Graphic re-enactment of the video]]

'''100 2265''' is a [[Random access humor|bizarre, nonsensical]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 3 [[October 2010]]. In it, we see Chris, clad in his female support garment and what appears to be some sort of black wrapping, babbling about hamburgers in an incoherent manner. He tries to imitate the fast-food icon [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]] by prancing around [[Chris's room|his room]] shouting "robble robble" in a nasally, high-pitched voice. Once again, Chris somehow manages to screw things up as his costume lacks several key elements.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2265
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WD4rE6GrMNM}}
| stardate = 3 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Robble}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = [[100 2266]]
}}

{{quote|Robble, robble, robble!}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:RonaldWTF.png|thumb|Ronald would like to congratulate the CWCki's experts of video transcription... not that the transcription helped him much in this case.]]

''[Chris appears in his [[muscle bra]] with strips of black paper taped over his rotund figure. He has likewise taped over his eyes, to imitate the Hamburglar's mask]''

'eeyyyyyy FOLKS! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Some of the tape has fallen off, Chris adjusts it.]''

I'm Hamburglar here! Deep fat-frying [[For Julies Eyes Only|fat-ridin]]'(?) robber here! Robble, robble!

''[Chris points to a blurry, out-of-focus image of a Big Mac on his television]''

I'm gonna steal me that Big Mac there! Robble, robble, robble! It's so delicious! Robble, robble, robble!

''[Chris moves closer to the screen and begins gesturing at the image.]''

Oh, robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Two whole/all beef patties! Robble, robble, robble, robble! [[Navy|Special Sauce]]! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Onions, [[pickle]]s, cheese! Robble, robble, robble, robble! All on a sesame seed bun! ''[Chris pronounces "bun" like "biyun" here.]'' Robble, robble, robble!

''[The image of the Big Mac briefly comes into focus.]''

MCDONAAAALD'S! Robble, robble, robble, robble, robble! Robble, robble, robBLLLLLE!

==See also==
*[[McDonald's]]
*[[Obesity]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=[[100 2266]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-03]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-03]]

Lars Is Jivin'.MP4

2016-01-01T03:08:17Z

Crabcmdo: /* Full version */

[[File:Jivin.jpg‎|thumb|[[Lars]] is [[Asperchu/Background#Jivin_Pickles|Jivin]].]]

'''Lars Is Jivin'.MP4''' is an [[Chris and race|extremely racist]] video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[September 2010]], after [[Jackie Chat 3|a discussion with]] [[Jackie]] earlier in the day. In it, he addresses Lars again, comparing a toy boat he sent Jackie to a tape dispenser. Chris then decides the best way to get his point across is to throw the tape at his [[PSEye|camera]]. He removed the video just a few hours after uploading it. He later uploaded a new, longer version on 2 October. The extended edition includes Chris using stereotypical black words such as "yo," "mofo," holding up a picture of a black rapper and then dressing him as a turkey and throwing up gang signs.

Judging by the unusual video format (Chris normally makes videos in .MOV format), and the [[Chris and cinematography|blindingly obvious jump-cuts]], it would appear Chris has actually taken some time to edit this video. Unfortunately, it's safe to say that this was to hide the fact he failed to hit the camera with the tape on the first take.

==Description==
{{quotebox|[[Random-access humor|Nothin' but a jivin' turkey gourd.]]}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ApWRB4iLKMM}}
| stardate = 30 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[New Address]]
| next = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''[[Creepy stare|stare]]s [[Chris and anger|angrily]] at camera, cocks head; jump cut''] Oh yeah, one more thing, Laaaaahz. You know--s--you sent her the dangin' ol'...BOAT, made out of popsicle sticks...and a weak [[Raincoat|condom]] wrapper for a sail. You know what she did with that? [''brandishes tape. It appears to be [[wikipedia:Scotch Tape|Scotch]] or a generic store brand''] This your bo--

[''jump cut to Chris throwing the tape at the PSEye; he then turns the felled camera towards him''] She threw that piece of shit away! That little piece is cheap as shit. It was so cheap, it was as cheap as that tape dispenser! [''stares off into space for a moment, bewildered.'']

[''Another jump cut and moment of awkward silence''] I'm out, peace!

{{clear}}

==Full version==
Having taken down the original video a few hours after uploading it, Chris uploaded a longer version of the video on 2 [[October 2010]]. While the final part of the video is almost identical to the original short version, Chris has slightly re-edited it.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars Is Jivin'
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-ZGS728lgMM}}
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[I like Mary Poppins]]
| next = [[100 2265]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|You even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats you didn't even own! You paid for [[PSN|a whole bunch of useless stuff]] you're never going to use anyway, you jivin' turkey!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[ There is a 'sproing' noise as Chris activates the camera. He frowns and begins talking in what he doubtless believes to be a manly baritone.]''

Yo Lars, listen up yo. I got a b- I got a bigger message to tell ya! Imyaghda- I been tellin' you before, I been kinda civil, but I gotta yell it out to ya. [[jackie|JACKIE]] IS OVER YOU! You jivin' turkey! Now I tell you somethin', I tell you something' else, yo. She left you because of all the goddamn boats! ''[producing a sheet of paper] ''Now I'll read to you what she told me, and I quote: "You wasted all your money on all them stupid boats!" And you le- and she left you! Because you would ''never''... treat her right or take her out anywhere because of it. ''[Gangsta hand gesture]''

And she got fed up with all the goddamn boats all over the goddamn apartment! ''[garbling somewhat]'' Half of them not even taken out of their package! Because- because you just [[List of Chris's video games|bought them for the sake of buying them]]! ''[he puts down the paper and looks outraged]'' I mean, you mofo! You took -you even bought ridiculous paint and accessory kits for boats ''you didn't even own!'' [[chris and hypocrisy|You paid for a whole bunch of useless stuff you're never going to use anyway]], you jivin' turkey!

Yeah, right I call you a jivin' turkey, mofo! ''[he produces another piece of paper. This one is folded in half and has a picture of a black rapper on it, although the lighting makes it impossible to distinguish whom]'' And that's what you is, yo, a jivin' turkey! ''[folds over the paper, revealing that he has drawn a roast turkey - which in point of fact, looks far more like a chicken - on the other side. A hole has been cut for the rapper's face, making it look like he is a squash.]'' Jivin', squashed, stupid old turkey! ''[he tears the paper asunder, and vacuums the shreds up, fumbling them somewhat.]''

Down the jivin' yo'self, mofo! ''[Flashes both middle fingers before turning them upside down]'' I tell you somethin' else. You ain't never gonna get her back. She's been LONG over you, [[Chris and race|boy]]! All day long, all week long. She and I are going to be ... '' ['tapping' an imaginary Jackie]'' I be tapping that sweet ass of hers. ''[Continuing to mime]'' I spank her ass because she wants it. She asked me for it! And you know what, she ain't- you ain't gonna get that request no mo', mofo! Jivin' turkey! You ever come near us, I'll ''beat'' yo' ass! ''[as he squeaks 'beat' he punches his hand]'' Beat yo' ass to the whole- the other side of the state of ''[punches his hand a few times, in a likely reference to a Three Stooges skit]'' Texas, where my dad went to, except for a while. [''continues up to transcript above'']

==See also==
*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Lars' Ship has Sunk]]
*[[New Address]]
*[[Niggos]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[New Address]]|nextlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-30]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-02 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-30]]
[[Category:Videos with Camera Abuse]]

I like Mary Poppins

2016-01-01T03:06:05Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''I like Mary Poppins''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 2 [[October 2010]], presumably because he thought [[Jackie]] would find it cute. In it, Chris dons his [[PaRappa the Rapper]] hat and dances around the room, apparently in the fashion of the chimney sweeps singing "Step In Time" in ''[[Mary Poppins]]''. As usual, Chris mangles the tune so that it barely resembles anything from the film.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = I like Mary Poppins
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bT6JxRmRZME}}
| stardate = 2 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt}} The Swamp Monster
| previous = [[100 2261.MOV]]
| next = [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{Quote|I'm just a chimney sweep on shore leave.|Chris|who thinks chimney sweeps work at sea}}
=== Transcript ===
''['''0.00 - 0.07'''. Chris strikes a rather camp attitude, and brandishes the [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Fail]], possibly to represent a chimney sweep's brush. The delivers his few spoken lines in this video in what may, just possibly, be an attempt at a [[Daniel Weston|Cockney]] accent.]

Yo, guv'nor, don't mind me much; I'm just a chimney sweep on [[Honor Roll|shore leave]]. ''[he tosses the guitar aside]

''[aimlessly waving his arms and head] ''Dun dun duuuh duh!''

''['''0:08 - 0:16'''. he begins vigorously dancing, looking somewhat like an ill-assembled puppet attempting a hornpipe]''
Step in time, step in time, 
Step in time, step in time, 
Never need a reason, 
Never need a rhyme, 
Step in time, step in time...
''[trails off]''

''['''0:17 - 0:23'''. He raises his finger aloft, then resumes flailing, this time in profile while mugging at the camera. He is becoming somewhat more exhausted by now.]'' 
Kick your knees up! 
Kick your knees up, step in time 
Kick your knees up, step in time 
Never need a reason, 
Never need a rhyme 
Kick your knees up, step in time.

''['''0:24 - 0.30'''. There is a pause for a second as he positions himself for the next verse. Then he begins circling something just below shot, probably the vacuum cleaner from [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars is Jivin'.]]] ''

Round the chimney! 
Round the chimney, step in time, 
Round the chimney, step in time, 
Never need a reason, 
Never need a rhyme 
Round the chimney, step in time.

''['''0.31 - 0.40'''. Another pause, in which Chris [[Sonichu's Edge|audibly pants]]. He then climbs over the object he was just circling while 'singing' the next verse. Needless to say, his actions bear no relation to the pace of the music. At the end of the verse, he hops around the hitherto-unseen nozzle of his vacuum cleaner for a second before discarding it, and does a double take when it thuds to the ground.]''

Over the railing! 
Over the railing, step in time 
Over the railing, step in time 
Never need a reason, 
Never need a rhyme 
Don't need to be a good jumper, step in time.

''['''0.41 - 0.49'''. On the first three lines of this new, made-up verse, he salutes and takes a step backwards. After this point, the complexity of this choreography becomes too much for him and he returns to a jaunty bounce to and fro while swinging his arms back and forth. At the end, he pauses for thought.]''

Enjoying Mary Poppins! 
Enjoying Mary Poppins, step in time 
Enjoying Mary Poppins, step er-n time 
Never need a reason, 
Never need a rhyme, 
Favorite movie of all time!

''['''0:50 - 1.04'''. Regaining his composure with a couple more 'Step in times', Chris commands us all to link our elbows, imperiously spreading his arms. He then adopts an ape-like pose with his arms akimbo and gyrates roughly in time to his song. At the end, both song and rotation increase in pace until one final, glorious 'Link your elbows!'. The frenetic sequence at an end, Chris switches off the camera. He is visibly and audibly fatigued by the excitement and less than a minute of moderate exercise.]''

Step in time, step in time. 
Liiink your elbows! 
Link your elbows, step in time, 
link your elbows, step in time, 
link your elbows, link your elbows, link your elbows 
Link your elbooooows!

G'day guv'n- ''[cuts himself off mid-word.]''

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2261.MOV]]|nextlink=[[100 2265]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-09 a]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-02 a]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-02 a]]

100 2261.MOV

2016-01-01T03:03:28Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''100 2261.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 1 [[October 2010]]. In it, [[Chris and remorse|Chris expresses remorse]] for various actions including blaming [[Michael Snyder]] for having been [[banned]] from [[The GAMe PLACe]]. As with most things, Chris blames [[video game]]-induced [[stress]] as the leading cause of his behavior. Chris was of course only doing this to try and please [[Jackie]], and has publicly called for the death of Michael Snyder [[Lars Call#Fuck_Tha_Police_.2848:15_-_57:30.29|at least]] [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|twice]] since making this video.

"That message on the cardboard box" to which Chris refers was ''"Michael loves the Fiddlesticks out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]"''.<ref>[[Jackie e-mails#Fiddlesticks|Jackie e-mails]]</ref>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2261
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KUKSQB3HaAQ}}
| stardate = 1 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{PokemonLeague|text}}
| previous = [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| next = [[I like Mary Poppins]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Game Place|text}}
}}

{{quote|I only shouted a loud outburst twice. Twice!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[The scene is briefly bathed in a golden hue as Chris switches on the camera. After a second, the room returns to its customary drabness.]''

''[Mutters, eyes to the heavens]'' Uungwah listen it's October first, two thousand ten, and we're going to go a good- change of pace here. I have, uh, come to, uh, g'bwl I have come to... terms and realization, with the help of my gi- of- with the help of my [[sweetheart]], [[Jackie]]... ''[Sighs blissfully]'' ...

Anyway, I want to apologize to... for bl- to [[Michael Snyder]] and everbody at [[The GAMe PLACe]] for blaming them, for... well all the troubles because, y'know. Uh, things have, things have [[AXE|perspired]], that led up to me getting kicked out... was very much my fault, er - but most of the time, uh, but most of the time I was just being, er, [[stress|''super'' stressed out]] and I only, just, I only shouted a loud outburst ''twice''. ''[Wags his finger at the camera, looks disgruntled] ''Twice! Ever. And yet even, eeh, even that shocked, er, Michael.

And I apologize for, er, writing that- for writing that message on the [[MGS|cardboard box]] that Michael knows- is aware of- out of anger in response to- not being allowed to hook up the [[Wii]] so I could distribute the Electivire [''[[Miyamoto|pronounced Ee-lek-TEE-ver]]''] to Magmortar, Surfing Pikachu to the other League Me- to the other [[Pokémon]] League Members for- towa- toward their Di- ''Diamond'' and ''Pearl'' games.

But anyway, uh, I do not blame any of them, uh... I am to blame for— my getting kicked outta there. And... I am sorry. ''[Dramatic pause befitting the gravity of this statement.]''

Have a good day.

''[He deactivates the camera]''

== See also ==
*[[XBox is OK.MOV]]
*[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]

==References==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]|nextlink=[[I like Mary Poppins]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-01]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-01]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

New Address

2016-01-01T02:56:42Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''New Address''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 27 [[September 2010]]. In it, [[Chris]] addresses [[Lars]] to tell him that he has lost [[Jackie]], who has recently become Chris's [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He then proceeds to boast about how he will satisfy Jackie's every desire, in an effort to make Lars jealous. The video concludes with Chris warning Lars that if he tries to mess with Jackie, [[Death threats|he will have to deal with Chris]].

This is the third video in as many days where Chris has worn the same shirt. The video is also a fine example of Chris's "smug voice", in which Chris attempts to lower his voice, stretching out certain vowels in the process.

{{clear}}
==Description==
{{quotebox|Dude, I will throw you and knock you out as swiftly and easily as I threw that JetSki. Yeah!!!}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = New Address
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dSF8ksePRPs}}
| stardate = 27 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]
| next = [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|Now she's with a real man. I will satisfy her needs, and her desires.}}

=== Transcript ===

Hello, Lars. I got your email, and I gotta tell you, you're a dang loser for hiding behind a picture of a [[Niggo|black man]]. A dang photograph. Anyway, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|it's over! It's over!]] [[Megan#Epilogue|You've lost!]] [[The Wallflower|You're history]]! You're kaput! You could've-you had your chance with [[Jackie]] but you gonna- YOU LOST, BUDDY, YOU LOST! ''[Holds up toy boat, jabbing it at the camera''] You just kept concentrating on [[ModNation Racers|your daaaayng boats]] all day and all night, ignoring '''HER''' needs, and her desires.

''[Licks lips]'' Now she's with [[Liquid Chris|a real man]]. [[Chris and sex|I will satisfy her needs, and her desires]]. And if you ever wanna be happy with yourself, you ''[Flashes the finger]'' [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP! You grow up! And you stop thinkin' about yourself]], YEEEEAAAAH! ''[Raises arms]'' You grow up, [[Chris and his ego|stop thinkin about yourself]], YEAAH! ''[Throws the miniature toy boat he's holding. It hits the ceiling and lands on the floor behind him. Chris flinches and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|ducks]] to avoid his own projectile. [[Slow-in-the-minds|Stares aimlessly for a long moment]].]''

[[Don't Mess With Me|You mess with me and her]], you're, you're gonna deal with me definitely. Down to [[Chris and health|the last sweat, or breath]].

{{clear}}

==See also==

*[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Lars' Ship has Sunk]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]|nextlink=[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-27]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-27]]

Anti Troll Movement Video1

2016-01-01T02:55:41Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''Anti Troll Movement Video1''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 26 [[September 2010]]. He "sings" the same song about [[trolls]] featured in his heavily plagiarized [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]] animation [[Don'tGetTrolled!]], apparently in hopes of promoting an "Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement". Surprisingly, Chris was able to recite the lyrics with a good deal of accuracy, even though he [[Autism|completely missed]] the original point of the song--the point of which is advice that Chris could particularly use.

After he sings the song, Chris pads out the video for a minute to, completely contrary to the alleged topic of the video and having nothing to do with anti-trolling, lists the "sponsors" of his video, including ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', and feminine skin care products. Considering he is wearing the same T-shirt he [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|wore the day before]], his promotion of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]] products is rather ironic.

==Description==
{{quotebox|Original song from [[FlipNote Hatena]] user 8-BIT.

<nowiki>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user</nowiki>}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Anti Troll Movement Video1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|glHqCEUltdA}}
| stardate = 26 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| next = [[New Address]]
| saga = }}
{{quote|Oil of Olay brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good.|Chris on the benefits of washing}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris turns on the camera and steps a pace back.'']

[''theatrically''] And now, a very, encouraging, song.

[''Another step back with a head twitch, and begins singing "[[Don'tGetTrolled!|You've Been Trolled]]" to the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Disney's ''Beauty and the Beast'']

Youuuu've beeeen trolled 
You've been trolled 
You have PROB-ly been told 
Don't reply...
[[File:Christler.jpg|thumb|right|Haben Sie einen schönen Tag, mein Führer.]]
[''He turns away and reaches for a crudely-drawn picture of a troll, which he holds up through the song and after.'']

...to this guy 
He is just getting a rise 
Out of you 
Yes, it's true 
You respond and that's his cue 
You start trouble on the double 
While he strokes his manly stubble

You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
You should probably just fold 
When the only winning move is not to plaaaay

Then you keep on trying 
Endlessly replying 
You've been trolled 
You've been trolled 
Havenicedaaay!

[''Song ends.'']

This video, portraying and projecting the Anti-Troll Cyber Bully Movement...

[''He puts down the troll picture.'']

...has been brought to you by ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' and...

[''He holds up a box of soap.'']

...Oil of Olay brand bar soap, and other things. Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good...

[''Chris [[Homo|drops the soap.]]'']

I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously!]] I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And [[Axe]] body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!

[''Chris throws up a [[CWCville|Nazi]] salute and turns off the camera.'']

==References==
<references/>

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]|nextlink=[[New Address]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-26]]

Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV

2016-01-01T02:54:27Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

[[File:TheTitanicTruth.jpg|thumb|Lars' ship sunk by the [[Monthly tugboat|tugboat]]]]

'''Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[September 2010]]. Chris addresses the video to [[Jackie#Lars|Lars]], an ex-boyfriend of Chris's latest [[sweetheart]], [[Jackie]], who had been spreading a [[Nudes|nude photo of her]] around the Internet. Jackie want Chris to "scare the crap out of Lars" so that he wouldn't trouble her again.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> Chris proceeds to sink a [[Lego|LEGO]] boat, apparently with Lars aboard. The grand finale is Chris destroying the boat and some LEGO characters with his feet.

[[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] makes a rare appearance at the end; Chris later told Jackie that she was clearing out stink bugs from their filthy home.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 16]]</ref>

Of note in this video is further signs of Chris's [[Chris and health|rapid aging.]] His [[hair]]line is further back than it ever has been, though it appears Chris may have resorted to growing his hair out to hide his premature balding. However, the way it looks makes him look creepier than ever before.

{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars' Ship has Sunk
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ytzOHArRUzA}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
| next = [[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|The consequences will never be the same|Chris on breaking LEGO}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Brickfest-back.jpg|thumb|These guys had no idea what was coming]]

Good afternoon. This message goes out to an ex of my... dear belove- my dear beloved sweetheart's, who goes by the name of Lars. Who had a session [''[[Chris and English|means to say "an obsession"]]''], with...model boats! [''Presents Lego boat''] And here is a Titanic-like boat! He is piloting it! Let's see what happens to his boat!

[''Moves "boat" down to an inverted Lego board'']

[''High pitched voice''] "Oh, look at me! I'm sailing in my Titanic-like boat which was originally for my girlfriend! Who is now Christian's girlfriend! And today was our anniversary! This twenty fifth of September - Oh no! What this! A ciberg!"

[''Wails and breaks boat apart'']
[[File:Hmmodel.jpg|thumb|Right|What the video is about]]

It gets better. You know what. Because... Here comes the demolition team that finds... th-the remains... of the sunken ship. [''Steps on the "ship"''] Boom! Boom! [''Cackles''] Oh, and here's the captain of the ship! The remains of him anyway! Peoww! [''Crushes figurine underfoot, collapsing a small pile of hoarded books and copybooks by accident, then zooms in''] [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|Weak as dirt]].

[''Points upwards''] [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Jessi_Slaughter The consequences will never be the same.] Lars, [[I AM STRONG|you are no match for me and my]] [[obesity|muscles]]. [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] says "Hello"'']

[''Licks his lips as if about to speak again - video ends'']

==See also==
*[[New Address]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]], in which Chris mocked another tragedy
==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-25]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-25]]

XBox is OK.MOV

2016-01-01T02:53:12Z

Crabcmdo: /* Video */

'''XBox is OK.MOV''' is the second of two videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 13 [[September 2010]]. In it, Chris makes various declarations including a recanting of his [[Hex Box|Xbox]] hatred, stating that he has nothing against [[homos|homosexual men]], and removing any [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] he placed.

Chris's recantations were, of course, merely a bid to impress Jackie, who had mentioned her fondness of the [[HEXBox]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 13]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> and dislike of Chris's homophobia.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]]</ref> Not too surprising to veteran trolls, mind you, who would quickly notice the absence of the Medallion Of Fail, making this video anything ''but'' TRUE and HONEST. Sure enough, years later, Chris would wind up vandalizing a Wal-Mart's Xbox One display, proving just that.

To date, this was Chris's last video to use the opening phrase "[[Captain's Log]]".

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = XBox is OK.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5JRXD-d-I3A}}
| stardate = 13 [[September 2010]]
| style = {{smug|text}}, {{reason|text}}
| subject = {{Rumors|text}}, {{Homos|text}}, {{Video games|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]
| next = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
}}

{{quote|I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have no hatred or anger towards the gay men. None at all. No questions, straight forward. I'm cool with...I'm cool with you gays, you know?}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate September 13, 2010.

I am making this video to make a public statement.

I no longer have any angst or hatred or anything, any beef, against the Xbox. It is a good console, a very good console, prob-a about equally good as a PS3, cannot play Blu-ray, but! It is still a good console and is just another gaming console. Just like...you know, I guess, PS...a PS3 is another gaming console, another [[Wii]], or a Wii is another gaming console.

[''Turns to his TV''] And you notice that there's a depreciation in the number of gaming consoles in the center [''gestures at the TV; Chris's [[:File:ModNation XBox360ko.jpg|Xbox 360ko]] [[ModNation Racers|Mod]] is visibly idling on the screen''] because, the gaming addiction is gooone! I... [[Autism|[''loses train of thought momentarily'']]] I have gotten rid of the hoarded systems - [[List of Chris's games|systems and games]] that have been, I have hoarded for a number of years.

And also, I would like to make another statement. [''Looks away from the camera''] I have no...I have no hate... I have little... I have [[Chris and anger|no hatred or anger]] towards the gay men. [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|None at all.]] No questions, straight forward. [''Chris looks visibly insincere''] I'm cool with...[[It's UGH!|I'm cool with you gays]], you know? You go do what you want to do, just you know, [[Honest Content|keep it to yourselves]]. That's all. We're all equal people. We have every right to live our lives free however...each, however each of us individually chooses. So there.

[''pauses and shifts positioning'']

[''mumbles''] Uh, let's see that was another thing...another thing. Hmm.

Anyway that's, uh, that's essentially it. Oh yes I just remembered the other thing. [''Holds up a hand in forgiveness blessing fashion''] I remove ALL [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|hexes and curses]] to every single person I have ever...around the world that I have ever left a curse on. So consider yourselves [''wave of his arm''] cleansed! [[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|You're all forgiven.]] Every last one of you. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness!]]

And with that I bid you a good day and a safe one too, all of you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]}}

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-13 b]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-13 b]]
[[Category:Videos about homos| 2010-09-13 b]]