CWCki - User contributions [en]

Jackie

2010-10-31T00:04:02Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romley''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]]. Not much is known about Jackie other than what's present in a set of emails and a video uploaded by Chris.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|Chandlerdriven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''Yes'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and Liberace.

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[McDonald's|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]]. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
Lars is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late [[September 2010]], Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

==Oops, He Did it Again?==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On [[30 October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him.

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Jackie

2010-10-31T00:03:28Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romley''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]]. Not much is known about Jackie other than what's present in a set of emails and a video uploaded by Chris.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|Chandlerdriven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''Yes'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and Liberace.

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[McDonald's|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]]. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
Lars is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late [[September 2010]], Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

==Oops, He Did it Again?==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On [[30 October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him.

Don'tPintheOop

2010-10-30T18:08:06Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

'''Don'tPintheOop''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris gives a shout out to Gulliver, a relative of [[Jackie]]. He then discusses the matter of pooping himself and the resulting [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty underwear]]. Finally he announces the upcoming execution of [[Clyde Cash]].

Chris also mentions his [[computer]] being "[[PS3|busted]]" and that he is "[[Monthly Tugboat|going to get a new one]]."

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Don'tPintheOop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6nMj9BbZtkM}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[FullHouse]]
| next = [[ShowerClean]]
}}

===Transcript===

''[Chris is wearing blue taped glasses and holding a red clipboard.]''

Hello, this is a video dedicated to a…

''[Chris looks at the clipboard.]]''

…Gulliver. It's a shout-out to him, a relative of a girl, uh, of the woman I'm seeing. You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants. Hey, I know I've had my accidents! They're mostly stress-induced!

''[Chris pauses and appears to hold in a burp.]''

And specifically of a recent event I had a near— I had a near inci— near accident. I just really felt it bad in my gut. And I'll tell you what caused it. It was the risk of losing my— losin' my girlfriend here because of uh, things, cause of minor indifferences, especially a bein' able— me being unable to get on the PC because it's been busted. Lookin' ta get a new one. And I am going to get a new one.

But anyway, almost did but fortun'ly I was able to make it home in time. But there was another time where I actually— where I actually did happen to be where I pooped my pants in public. It was just stressed sisduced an' it could be held, it just came out quick. I mean, it was a very uncomforable ride home that day. But I managed to hold my— ta keep my cool and cleaned myself out after I got back home. So not really a big deal. I mean the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench. But yeah, don't think of us as different, 's just something we gotta take care of ourselves because we can't right now. But we will take care of it when we get home or when we get to the nearest restroom.

And you know if you're tall— if you're tall enough to get over, just squat over a commode in the men's room then wipe yourself, maybe wipe your underpants too. I have done that before myself. I actually done that in a public restroom. I mean yeah, if you can't make it home in time and you can't make it into a restroom either, you can just squat and clean yourself. That's the best thing to go for there.

Hey, I mean at least our faces are not fuckin' orange…

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

…like a certain Cashey Clyde that I know.

''[Chris puts his glasses back on.]''

Stay tuned for an [[DivineTrial|execution of him in a future video!]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[FullHouse]]|nextlink=[[ShowerClean1]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls

2010-10-28T19:18:21Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Introduction */

[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|Cover page of the original assignment. Note the English class.]]
{{Illustrations}}

{{quote|Others say that they originated from the depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story..|''How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls'', Tablet 1, Fragment 1; author unknown, but typically attributed to "High Shaman Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded"}}

'''"How the Pokémon came into Our PokéBalls"''' is a short story by [[Christian]] done in his ''senior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].'' In it, he attempts to establish some form of creation-myth for the Pokémon universe. Coincidentally, there is an [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Sinnoh_myths official one] now.

How it got a good grade is a mystery lost to time.

==Introduction==
[[Image:How_the_pokemon_came_into_our_pokeballs.png|thumb|Something like this...]]
How the Pokemon Came Into Our Poke Balls.
10/30/[[1999|99]]
(Intro.)

For my [[English]] class in late September of this year, I had to write my own
myth. So, I figured "Why not make a myth about how [[Pokémon]] came
to be."

My English teacher thought that it was a great story. So did my [[Barbara|mom]] and a
few [[Christian Weston Chandler|other people]]. Since it was so good, I thought I'd feature it on this
website. Click Here to read my story. Enjoy. :)

==Page 1==
9/22/99
Page 1.
[[Image:Mewchew.jpg|thumb|right|Mewchu, the creator-god of the Pokémon, according to Kris'Tchan the Feeble Minded.]] Some people say that the Pokemon came from the sky in a giant
rock known as the Moon Stone. Others say that they originated from the
depths of nature's elements. But, they are all not true...this is the
true story.

A long, long time ago in the heavens above, there were such
powerful gods as [[Wikipedia:Zeus|Zeus]], Maheo,<ref>[http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/native_american-mythology.php?deity=MAHEO Maheo is a Native American creation deity]</ref> and [[GodJesus|many more]]. But, it all started with
a rookie god, known as...Mewchu. He had thepower to help provide for the
animals, plants, minerals, and to keep track of the seven natural powers of
the universe: Fire, Grass, Lightning, Water, Fighting, Psychic, and the
power of the Colorless Star.

Mewchu made sure that the animals and plants were fed from [[McDonald's|natures
good foods]]. He made sure that nature's minerals, such as rocks, dirt from
the ground, and the mucky messes were used for their purpose.

One day, Mewchu said to himself, "[[Monthly Tugboat|There must be a way to allow the
animals, small and big, to do these tough chores, so that I may be able to
be a little clean.]]" Then, he thought, "Why not give some of the natural
powers to a new type of creature." So, he went down to earth with the
power to absorb the natural powers of earth, and share it. So, he
stood... in the middle of the Pacific, surrounded by islands of seven
and water.
[[Image:Mewchu.png|thumb|right|True and Original Creator of all Pokemon, DO NOT STEAL!.]]

He decided to start with making a powerful animal to assist him
in his great task. Then, he found a weird creature on an island. It was
mostly white, blue eyes, short arms, big feet, and a long tail with a pink
tip. Mewchu has never seen such an animal, so he absorbed the power of
Psychic from the stars, gave the creature a gentle rub on its back, and
picked it up. And Mewchu said to the creature, "You, rare creature, have
received the supernatural power of the Psychics from the stars above us.
But you would need a name for you will be my assistant to make a new type
of elemental creatures. I shall call you...[[Wikipedia:Mew|Mew]]." And the Mew jumped for
joy, then set him down with some wise words. "Mew," Mewchu said, "I want
you to pick some animals that are here now, and share with them the Psychic
power. For I would not be able to, because I may only share each elemental
power only one time for one creature or more. I trust that you can share
this power, while I handle the other six elemental powers." Then he set the
Mew down, on its island and it went on its way.

==Page 2==
9/22/[[1999|99]]
Page 2.

Mewchu decided to start with the power of grass, so he rubbed the
grass of another island's ground, and he waved his hand over the trees.
A [[Wikipedia:Triceratops|triceratops]] began to lose its horns, and it turned into a creature
called [[Wikipedia:Bulbasaur|Bulbasaur]]. A caterpillar lost its fuzz; it grew a little bigger; it
turned green, and it got the name of [[Wikipedia:Caterpie|Caterpie]]. Another caterpillar's fur
only shortened; it grew a small horn; it grew a little, like the Caterpie
did; it turned orange, and it became a [[Wikipedia:Weedle|Weedle]]. A rattlesnake turned
purple, and grew a single yellow stripe; it became an [[Wikipedia:Ekans|Ekans]]. A rat grew
small horns, turned blue, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♀|Nidoran (female)]]. And, another rat
grew bigger horns, turned pink, and became a [[Wikipedia:Nidoran♂|Nidoran (male)]]. A bat's legs
turned to two tails as thin as a blade of grass, its ears grew bigger, and
it became a [[Wikipedia:Zubat|Zubat]]. A tiny bush sprouted out of the ground, grew eyes,
and became an [[Wikipedia:Oddish|Oddish]]. A fuzzy bush grew two teeth like a vampire; it
became a [[Wikipedia:Venonat|Venonat]]. A bell-shaped palm shrunk; it became a [[Wikipedia:Bellsprout|Bellsprout]].
A mud puddle grew into a [[Wikipedia:Grimer|Grimer]]. Six eggs bounced and said, "[[Wikipedia:Exeggcute|Exeggcute]]."
A puff of smoke became solid, and mentioned, "[[Wikipedia:Koffing|Koffing]]." A bunch of vines
gathered around another Oddish, it was [[Wikipedia:Tangela|Tangela]]. A dragonfly grew, and said,
"[[Wikipedia:Scyther|Scyther]]." The rocks got a body of armor, and said, "[[Wikipedia:Pinser|Pinser]]."

Then Mewchu dipped his hand into the firey [[Wikipedia:Volcano|volcano]] of another
island, pulled it out, and waved his hand over the volcano. Many animals
were below. A baby [[Wikipedia:Tyrannosaurus|tyrannosaurus]] got fire on its tail, and yelled,
"[[Wikipedia:Charmander|Charrrrmander]]!" A fox's tail split into six. Maybe, it's now a [[Wikipedia:Vulpix|Vulpix]].
A dog turned orange, and growled, "[[Wikipedia:Growlithe|Growwwllithe]]!" A [[Wikipedia:Ponyta|pony]] got burned, and
neighed. A chunk of ash was revived and turned into a [[Wikipedia:Magmar|Magmar]]. And, a big
bird flew out the volcano, it was a [[Wikipedia:Moltres|Moltres]].

Mewchu then dipped his hand in the ocean's waters, and gave another
wave over another island with a big lake in the middle. A baby turtle and
a squirrel on an island joined together to make a [[Wikipedia:Squirtle|Squirtle]]. A fat duck
turned yellow with a headache; it became a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]]. A tadpole got bigger
with a swirl on its belly, a [[Wikipedia:Poliwag|Poliwag]] came to be. A jellyfish's arms shrunk
into two. It was then a [[Wikipedia:Tentacool|Tentacool]]. A [[Wikipedia:Slowpoke|Slowpoke]] was formed when a baby
hippopotamus grew a tail. A seal turned white, and grew a horn on its
head; it was [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (52–101)#Seel|Seel]]. A shell opened up, and stuck out a tongue, hello
[[Wikipedia:Shellder|Shellder]]. A [[Wikipedia:Krabby|Krabby]] came when a crab got crowned. A seahorse started to
spit oil, a fish grew a horn on its head, and starfish grew a jewel.
Here were a [[Wikipedia:Horsea|Horsea]], a [[Wikipedia:Goldeen|Goldeen]], and a [[Wikipedia:Staryu|Staryu]]. A crown from a treasure grew
onto a hard-shell fish; here was a [[Wikipedia:Magikarp|Magikarp]]. A rare lochness monster grew
a spiked shell on its back; it became a [[Wikipedia:Lapras|Lapras]]. A fossil was revived; it
was an Omanyte. Out of an arctic ice berg, an Articuno broke out.

==Page 3==
9/22/[[1999|99]]
Page 3.

Meanwhile, Mew shared its Psychic power with a [[Wikipedia:Psyduck|Psyduck]], and a
[[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (52–101)#Slowpoke|Slowpoke]]. When Mew shared it with a rat, it fell asleep, and grew into
an Abra. When Mew came across the body of a dead lizard, it summoned its
spirit, and shared some "Gastly" secrets with it. Later, Mew met an
anteater; Mew put it to sleep, and the anteater became a Drowzee. Mew found two monkeys, with an evolution. One turned into a Mr. Mime, and the other became a Jynx. Later in the night, Mew gave birth, and the baby Mew looked
different. The new Mew gave its mother a psychic attack, and thrown it up
a tree. Suddenly, the new Mew grew to the size that of a man with many years, It was a Mewtwo.

Meanwhile, Mewchu found a barren island with sand and rocks. He
punched it, and out of the ground came the fighting and ground type
creatures: Sandshrew, Diglett, Mankey, Machop, Geodude, Onix, Cubone,
Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Rhyhorn, and a Kabuto.

Then Mewchu summoned a thunderstorm, and lightning struck another
island. The lightning hit a little mouse, and the mouse grew into a
Pikachu. Metallic minerals rose out of the ground of a small area of the
island, and it formed to make a Magnemite. A coconut was struck with a
piece of the metallic material carrying some of the electric power; the
coconut turned metallic; it became a Voltorb. A wild cat was struck, and
it became an Electabuzz. And out of the thunderous clouds came a Zapdos.

And finally, Mewchu planted a transparent star in the middle of the
other island. And from the star came the Colorless creatures: Pidgey,
Rattata, Spearow, Clefairy, Jigglypuff, Meowth, Farfetch'd, Doduo,
Lickitung, Chansey, Tauros, Eevee, Porygon, and Dratini.
Before Mewchu bid farewell, he waved his hand over all seven
islands, and most of the creatures evolved into more powerful creatures.
And, then He shouted out, "May these creatures be helpful to the earth,
and may they use their abilities wisely." Then, he said with a tear of
joy, "Farewell,... Pokemon." And Mewchu flew back into the heavens.

The End.

==Analysis==

At first you'd be tempted to say that it's just Chris attempting to combine [[Wikipedia:Book of Genesis|Genesis]] with [[Pokémon]], but in actuality it has more in common with the myths of polytheistic cultures.

An obvious similarity is that there are many gods, and Mewchu is just a "rookie god." Mewchu, charged with the nourishment of the plants and animals, is essentially a harvest/fertility deity, in the vein of the Greek goddess Demeter<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demeter</ref> His motivation for creating the Pokemon, so he'd have less work to do, is freakishly similar to the motivation behind the creation of man in the Enuma Elish. <ref>[http://www.sacred-texts.com/ane/enuma.htm Text of the Enuma Elish. Warning: tl;dr unless you like mythology a lot]</ref> Basically, Mewchu wanted to have shorter work days so he could get home in time for the game. It's a little mindboggling that Chris may or may not have been referencing something rather erudite like that; let's be honest, he wasn't... but still... ''huh''.

Additional similarities to polytheistic creation myths include the god altering an already-existing world to better suit its needs, as opposed to the ''logos''<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logos#Use_in_Christianity]</ref> of Genesis.

From a Pokémon point of view, the story still makes no sense. Regardless of the official Pokémon creation myths that were revealed in 2006 with the release of [http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Generation_IV the fourth generation] of games, certain Pokémon already had their origins outlined even in the first set of games. Porygon and Mewtwo, for instance, are specifically stated to be artificially created. It can be assumed that Voltorb would have developed after the invention of the PokéBall. He also gets many of the Pokémon's real life interpretations wrong. An example being Pinsir, which he refers to as anthropomorphic "rocks that got a body of armor" when it is actually an anthropomorphic [[Wikipedia:Stag beetle|stag beetle]].

Another interesting point is that, although Chris seems to avert the "show, don't tell" rule by making stories composed almost exclusively of exposition, that method is actually a good fit here; most myths are told in such an expository style. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Despite having the word "PokéBalls" in the title, the things aren't even mentioned once in the story.

In the end, he still just ripped off Pokémon for a school assignment, but this wasn't the [[Sonichu|only time]] ... and far from the last.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Poetry]]

A Week With Christian Chandler

2010-10-28T19:15:40Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Page 8 */

"'''A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary)'''", more commonly known as "'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''", is a school report that [[Chris]] wrote to document one week in his [[high school]] life. The week documented is 29 April [[2000]] through 5 May 2000, when Chris was 18 (although Chris gives the report a [[copyright]] date of 24 April 2000). Many events are covered during these seven short days, but the most significant among them must be the creation of the cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'', on which [[Sonichu]] made his first-ever appearance.

The information contained within Chris's report provides valuable insight into his early years, chronicling the development of some of his current hobbies and habits. As just one example, he openly admits to falling asleep during his classes on a regular basis, foreshadowing his future inactivity and overall laziness post-college. Chris seems to have been enrolled in basic behavioral-adjustment classes, including a "coping class/study hall", but he evidently spent all of his time in these classes reading young adult books by [[Wikipedia:R.L. Stine|R.L. Stine]] instead of paying attention.

Interestingly, Chris refers to some of the other students on his school bus as "[[slow-in-the-minds]]." It's not fully spelled out whether these were bullies or other special-needs students, but the fact that Chris mentions dreading the bus (combined with a later reference to "immature teenage boys") suggests the former. Either way, Chris's high school years couldn't have been as pleasant as he's portrayed them ever since.

==Reproduction of The Official and Original Text==

===Cover===

[[Image:406-WeekWithCWC.jpg|thumb]]

'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''

[Photo: Chris, dressed as Ash Ketchum, poses with the now-deceased [[Patti Chandler]]. Out of focus and the print is overexposed.]

[Drawing: A crude portrait of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] faces left.]

{{-}}

===Page 1===

[[Image:407-CWCWeekP1.jpg|thumb]]

<poem>
''A Week With Christian Chandler''
''(A Self-Documentry)''

''© 4/24/2000''
''April 24, 2000''

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

''Chandler's Publishing Co.''

''Now:''
''6008 Partingdale Cr.''
''[[Richmond]], VA 23224''
''(804)-674-9474''

''As of 6/20/2000:''
''[[14 Branchland Court|46 Branchland Ct.]]''
''[[Ruckersville]], VA 22468''
''(804)-990-0198''
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 2===

[[Image:408-CWCWeekP2.jpg|thumb|left]]

Saturday, 4/29/2000:

On our 1st day of following Christian, we followed him as he was getting ready to go to the [[Pokemon Trading Card Game]] League at [[Books-A-Million]]. All ready to go, Christian and his mother leave for the League. On the way, they stop at B.P. gas station, so Christian could fill his sports bottle with some refreshing [[obesity|soda pop]]. After Christian enters Books-A-Million for the League, he sees someone with a rare, holographic "Team Rocket" Dark Raichu card. So he offers all his tradable holo rare cards and non-holo rare cards, but the boy did not want to trade his Dark Raichu card. After signing in with Marc, the Gym Leader, he trades a few cards, then he plays many card games. Much later, because of the release of the Team Rocket cards, now available in stores, a party was held with games and prizes. We watched as League members played a Musical Poke Ball game. A costume contest was also held; 5 people came dressed as Team Rocket members. But Christian was wearing his Ash get-up, like he usually wears every Saturday; it was originally a Halloween costume, but he thought of it as also a formal item to wear for the League. So, he entered and won 1st prize, a cool T-shirt. After receiving the T-shirt, he left for home so he could go to Ruckersville before it became dark.

{{-}}

===Page 3===

[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris, seated on his bed, holds up a number of Pokémon trading cards. Chris is shot against the light. The print is underexposed.]

- Christian is getting ready to go to the Pokemon TCG League at Books-a-Million.

[Photo: Chris stares down a younger opponent, about to put his last card into play.]

- Christian is playing a round of Pokemon with a fellow Trainer.

[Photo: Several young League members are playing a variation of Musical Chairs.]

- The League members are playing a round of Musical Poke Balls.

{{-}}

===Page 4===

[[Image:410-CWCWeekP4.jpg|thumb|left]]

Sunday, 4/30/2000:

On the 2nd day, Christian woke in his country home in Ruckersville. He helped his [[Barbara|mother]] by moving heavy and light boxes, furniture and stuff from the van to the house, and house to workshop. Afterwards, they loaded the van, got ready to leave and left for Richmond. On the way, they stopped at [[Country Cooking]] restaurant in Orange County for lunch. Later, they returned to Richmond, and re-unloaded their van. But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville.

{{-}}

===Page 5===

[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's bedroom appears cluttered, yet cleaner than it's been of late. Out of focus.]

- This is Christian's Country Room.

[Photo: [[Barbara Chandler]], looking remarkably slim, is carrying a box. Shot against the light.]

- His mother is bringing in the last box from the van into the living room.

[Photo: Chris's soon-to-be-former living room is completely littered with junk. ]

- This is more stuff in the City living room to bring back to Ruckersville later.

{{-}}

===Page 6===

[[Image:412-CWCWeekP6.jpg|thumb|left]]

Monday, 5/1/2000

On the 3rd day, Christian spent an "ODD Day" at [[Manchester High School]]. The 1st class he went to was his English class with Mr. Goss. During class, Mr. Goss discussed the difference between Shakesphere's world and the real world of today. Christian rested his eyes after Mr. Goss's discussion, and before the bell rang. Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|his nerves kicked into action]] after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was. Next was Computer Graphics...it was great for him today, because he got to print his own CD cover. Next was [[Spanish]] 2...he took a quiz today, but I think he feels confident in his work. And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" on it.

{{-}}

===Page 7===

[[Image:413-CWCWeekP7.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Two teachers are sitting in a classroom, having a chat. Chemical smudge and fingerprint in print, likely a result of putting a dirty photographic paper on enlarger.]

- Mr. Goss is chatting with his fellow teacher friend.

[Photo: The cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' has just been printed.]

- This is Christian's CD cover after print, in the process of cutting.

[Photo: Three Chesterfield County school buses await their students.]

- These busses are full of nutty "[[Christian Weston Chandler|slow-in-the-minds]]."

{{-}}

===Page 8===

[[Image:414-CWCWeekP8.jpg|thumb|left]]

Tuesday, May 2, 2000:

On the 4th day, we follow Christian on an easier school day, an "Even Day." 1st, he went to English class...he cruised on a "Zzzz," while starting to read a "Dollhouse" story. 2nd was Photography class, but with the [[jerks|immature boys]], and getting up to develop photos, he never falls asleep in that class. 4th was Contemporary Living. Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry. Which brings up lunch; on an odd day, Christian eats alone, but on even days, he is with friends: [[Tiffany]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah]], and Brian. Brian was not there today; he went on a field trip to D.C. 6th was Coping/Study Hall. During the free time in this class, Christian likes to get into a good book. And at 1:30, our hero leaves for home on...that bus.

{{-}}

===Page 9===

[[Image:415-CWCWeekP9.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris discusses a class assignment with one of his teachers.]

- Mr. Bayuk and Christian are looking over a test strip for proper time length check.

[Photo: Chris is eating lunch with two of his best gal-pals.]

- Christian is eating lunch with Tiffany and Sarah.

[Photo: Chris has his nose in the spine of R.L. Stine's [http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/in-too-deep.htm ''In Too Deep''].]

- Christian is reading an [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] novel during Coping class.

{{-}}

===Page 10===

[[Image:416-CWCWeekP10.jpg|thumb|left]]

Wednesday, May 3, 2000:

On the 5th day, we decided to take a break from lugging the tripod around at Christian's school. But instead, we will observe the daily activities the he does at home. He likes to play his video games (i.e. [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], etc....). He also likes to go onto the [[internet]] to browse for new Poke News articles and to check the status of visitors (or he updates) his website, [[CWC's PokeSite 2!]] He also likes to go swimming at the [[Homos|YMCA]] pool; he needs to cool off after a hard day anyway. He also likes to sort and look through his book of Pokemon "Trading Card Game" cards and his decks. And he also likes to express himself in his art. Then later, he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, say "good night" to his parents, watch a little [[TV]], then he goes to bed with music to relax to.

[Photo: Chris is sitting in his bedroom, playing Pokémon. Severely underlit.]

- Christian is playing Pokemon Stadium for [[Nintendo]] 64.

{{-}}

===Page 11===

[[Image:417-CWCWeekP11.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sitting on his bed, looking over his Pokémon cards. Shot against light.]

- Christian is checking on his cards in his book and decks.

[Photo: [[The Wall of Originals]], only 1/4 complete, is already huge.]

- This is Christian's "Wall of Original Pokemon Cards."

[Photo: Chris's cluttered room features an early version of [[CWCville]]. Underlit, probably slightly out of focus.]

- This is Christian's City Room.

{{-}}

===Page 12===

[[Image:418-CWCWeekP12.jpg|thumb|left]]

Thursday, May 4, 2000:

On the 6th day, we followed Christian, and photographed the achievements of Christian and his friends. 1st, we noticed on the wall of the Cafeteria hallway were posters from [[CADD|Computer Graphics]] classes; one was his, and we photographed it. Next, in Christian's Contemporary Living class, he, Tiffany and Sarah were fixing filled pasta shells, garlic bread and a salad. [[obesity|Christian did not have any salad]]; lettuce or tomatoes (and [[Pickle|a few other vegetables]]) alone makes him feel green in the face. But After the bread and pasta shells were done (Christian and Sarah made the shells together) they all enjoyed a little something Italian. And during Photography class, [[Sex|he mounted a photo of his mother]] (he took and developed it himself) and later colored it.

{{-}}

===Page 13===

[[Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's "busy" Computer Graphics poster reads "Computer Graphics... Make some neat-o stuff!" and has "CWC" slapped ''six times'' all over it. The right edge of the print is underexposed, though this is barely noticeable.]

- Christian's Computer Graphics poster has a lot of Pinball action.

[Photo: Two of Chris's best gal-pals are eating the salad that they made.]

- Sarah and Tiffany are enjoying their green salad.

[Photo: A photo of Barbara Chandler has been set in a cheap homemade frame. Corner and - in a failure so grand that it's reserved for professionals alone - a band in right side of the print is underexposed. How Chris did this, we'll never know.]

- This "Mother of the Year 2000" Award will be presented to Christian's mother on the Mother's Day of 2000.

{{-}}

===Page 14===

[[Image:420-CWCWeekP14.jpg|thumb|left]]

Friday, May 5, 2000:

On the last day of our week-long journey, we followed Christian through one tough Friday. Christian came to school wearing a dress shirt and pants, a tie, and his cap and gown were in the bag. He went to English class, and took a vocabulary quiz. After the quiz, Christian signed the Senior Memory Book of his friend, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Miranda Mitchell. During Trigonometry class, he took notes on SSA triangles and the Sine formula. Then in Computer Graphics class, he sketched an idea for a self portrait, and it suited the requirements. But, he'll have to wait till next class, because he needs a couple of his "home files" to start him off. In Spanish 2, he started on a test, but he did not finish it, because he had to go for the Senior Group Photo. Christian had to walk down a mile-long hill to the football stadium, and when he got there, he put his stuff down in the entrance, put on his cap and gown, and went to join the group of seniors. After the long wait for the pictures to be taken, being crowded like a sardine surrounded by [[JERKS|immature teenage boys]], and having the hot, hot sun shining down on him and everyone else, he went back to the shady entrance. He got his stuff, and on the way back up the hill, his bus driver drove down to tell him that she called his father and told him about Christian and the photo shoot taking so long. So Christian walked back up the hill, he became tired and sweaty. After he entered the school building, he rested in the open commons for a few minutes. Then he buzzed for his father to pick him up, got ready to go, chilled out, and got picked up by his dad. And that concludes our week-long documentary of...A Week With Christian W. Chandler, the [[autistic]] boy that has made it this far. :)

[Photo: One of Chris's gal-pals is seated at a desk. Out of focus.]

- Miranda's first reaction to Christian's nice message.

{{-}}

===Page 15===

[[Image:421-CWCWeekP15.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sipping from a can of Dr Pepper.]

- Christian is getting started on his lunch.

[Photo: Chris is sitting at a long table, looking exhausted. Somewhat badly lit, as Chris's face is in shadow.]

- Tired and sweaty from the mile-long climb in the hot sun, Christian rests for a few minutes.

[Photo: Chris organizes his many Pokémon cards in his room. Extremely underexposed print, the right corner almost completely underexposed.]''

- Christian is preparing his decks for the Pokemon TCG League tomorrow.

{{-}}

===Page 16===

[[Image:422-CWCWeekP16.jpg|thumb|left]]

<poem>
A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary).

Christian W. Chandler.
4/24/Y2K
Photo., 2.
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 17===

[[Image:423-CWCWeekP17.jpg|thumb]]

''Christian's Parents.''

[Photo: [[Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] pose together, nearly managing to look happy. Barbara is wearing a shirt with the logo of First North American National Bank. ''Finally,'' a well-lit and mood-evoking photograph... gloriously enlarged on dusty paper.]

''Robert F. Chandler. Jr.'' 
''Barbara W. Chandler.''

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

A Week With Christian Chandler

2010-10-28T19:14:02Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Page 6 */

"'''A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary)'''", more commonly known as "'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''", is a school report that [[Chris]] wrote to document one week in his [[high school]] life. The week documented is 29 April [[2000]] through 5 May 2000, when Chris was 18 (although Chris gives the report a [[copyright]] date of 24 April 2000). Many events are covered during these seven short days, but the most significant among them must be the creation of the cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'', on which [[Sonichu]] made his first-ever appearance.

The information contained within Chris's report provides valuable insight into his early years, chronicling the development of some of his current hobbies and habits. As just one example, he openly admits to falling asleep during his classes on a regular basis, foreshadowing his future inactivity and overall laziness post-college. Chris seems to have been enrolled in basic behavioral-adjustment classes, including a "coping class/study hall", but he evidently spent all of his time in these classes reading young adult books by [[Wikipedia:R.L. Stine|R.L. Stine]] instead of paying attention.

Interestingly, Chris refers to some of the other students on his school bus as "[[slow-in-the-minds]]." It's not fully spelled out whether these were bullies or other special-needs students, but the fact that Chris mentions dreading the bus (combined with a later reference to "immature teenage boys") suggests the former. Either way, Chris's high school years couldn't have been as pleasant as he's portrayed them ever since.

==Reproduction of The Official and Original Text==

===Cover===

[[Image:406-WeekWithCWC.jpg|thumb]]

'''A Week With Christian Chandler'''

[Photo: Chris, dressed as Ash Ketchum, poses with the now-deceased [[Patti Chandler]]. Out of focus and the print is overexposed.]

[Drawing: A crude portrait of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] faces left.]

{{-}}

===Page 1===

[[Image:407-CWCWeekP1.jpg|thumb]]

<poem>
''A Week With Christian Chandler''
''(A Self-Documentry)''

''© 4/24/2000''
''April 24, 2000''

[Drawing: A crude portrait of Sonic the Hedgehog faces left.]

''Chandler's Publishing Co.''

''Now:''
''6008 Partingdale Cr.''
''[[Richmond]], VA 23224''
''(804)-674-9474''

''As of 6/20/2000:''
''[[14 Branchland Court|46 Branchland Ct.]]''
''[[Ruckersville]], VA 22468''
''(804)-990-0198''
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 2===

[[Image:408-CWCWeekP2.jpg|thumb|left]]

Saturday, 4/29/2000:

On our 1st day of following Christian, we followed him as he was getting ready to go to the [[Pokemon Trading Card Game]] League at [[Books-A-Million]]. All ready to go, Christian and his mother leave for the League. On the way, they stop at B.P. gas station, so Christian could fill his sports bottle with some refreshing [[obesity|soda pop]]. After Christian enters Books-A-Million for the League, he sees someone with a rare, holographic "Team Rocket" Dark Raichu card. So he offers all his tradable holo rare cards and non-holo rare cards, but the boy did not want to trade his Dark Raichu card. After signing in with Marc, the Gym Leader, he trades a few cards, then he plays many card games. Much later, because of the release of the Team Rocket cards, now available in stores, a party was held with games and prizes. We watched as League members played a Musical Poke Ball game. A costume contest was also held; 5 people came dressed as Team Rocket members. But Christian was wearing his Ash get-up, like he usually wears every Saturday; it was originally a Halloween costume, but he thought of it as also a formal item to wear for the League. So, he entered and won 1st prize, a cool T-shirt. After receiving the T-shirt, he left for home so he could go to Ruckersville before it became dark.

{{-}}

===Page 3===

[[Image:409-CWCWeekP3.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris, seated on his bed, holds up a number of Pokémon trading cards. Chris is shot against the light. The print is underexposed.]

- Christian is getting ready to go to the Pokemon TCG League at Books-a-Million.

[Photo: Chris stares down a younger opponent, about to put his last card into play.]

- Christian is playing a round of Pokemon with a fellow Trainer.

[Photo: Several young League members are playing a variation of Musical Chairs.]

- The League members are playing a round of Musical Poke Balls.

{{-}}

===Page 4===

[[Image:410-CWCWeekP4.jpg|thumb|left]]

Sunday, 4/30/2000:

On the 2nd day, Christian woke in his country home in Ruckersville. He helped his [[Barbara|mother]] by moving heavy and light boxes, furniture and stuff from the van to the house, and house to workshop. Afterwards, they loaded the van, got ready to leave and left for Richmond. On the way, they stopped at [[Country Cooking]] restaurant in Orange County for lunch. Later, they returned to Richmond, and re-unloaded their van. But, even though they worked hard today, putting and taking, there is still a lot to move back to Ruckersville.

{{-}}

===Page 5===

[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's bedroom appears cluttered, yet cleaner than it's been of late. Out of focus.]

- This is Christian's Country Room.

[Photo: [[Barbara Chandler]], looking remarkably slim, is carrying a box. Shot against the light.]

- His mother is bringing in the last box from the van into the living room.

[Photo: Chris's soon-to-be-former living room is completely littered with junk. ]

- This is more stuff in the City living room to bring back to Ruckersville later.

{{-}}

===Page 6===

[[Image:412-CWCWeekP6.jpg|thumb|left]]

Monday, 5/1/2000

On the 3rd day, Christian spent an "ODD Day" at [[Manchester High School]]. The 1st class he went to was his English class with Mr. Goss. During class, Mr. Goss discussed the difference between Shakesphere's world and the real world of today. Christian rested his eyes after Mr. Goss's discussion, and before the bell rang. Next, he had Trigonometry...I'd hate to be Christian when [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|his nerves kicked into action]] after waking up from a "notey" snooze cruise, but I was. Next was Computer Graphics...it was great for him today, because he got to print his own CD cover. Next was [[Spanish]] 2...he took a quiz today, but I think he feels confident in his work. And finally, after a hard "odd" day, he rides home on a bus, but unfortunately, it had a few "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" on it.

{{-}}

===Page 7===

[[Image:413-CWCWeekP7.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Two teachers are sitting in a classroom, having a chat. Chemical smudge and fingerprint in print, likely a result of putting a dirty photographic paper on enlarger.]

- Mr. Goss is chatting with his fellow teacher friend.

[Photo: The cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' has just been printed.]

- This is Christian's CD cover after print, in the process of cutting.

[Photo: Three Chesterfield County school buses await their students.]

- These busses are full of nutty "[[Christian Weston Chandler|slow-in-the-minds]]."

{{-}}

===Page 8===

[[Image:414-CWCWeekP8.jpg|thumb|left]]

Tuesday, May 2, 2000:

On the 4th day, we follow Christian on an easier school day, an "Even Day." 1st, he went to English class...he cruised on a "Zzzz," while starting to read a "Dollhouse" story. 2nd was Photography class, but with the immature boys, and getting up to develop photos, he never falls asleep in that class. 4th was Contemporary Living. Today, Mrs. Tortorella talked about eggs and microwaves, and from the eggs, I'm hungry. Which brings up lunch; on an odd day, Christian eats alone, but on even days, he is with friends: [[Tiffany]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel|Sarah]], and Brian. Brian was not there today; he went on a field trip to D.C. 6th was Coping/Study Hall. During the free time in this class, Christian likes to get into a good book. And at 1:30, our hero leaves for home on...that bus.

{{-}}

===Page 9===

[[Image:415-CWCWeekP9.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris discusses a class assignment with one of his teachers.]

- Mr. Bayuk and Christian are looking over a test strip for proper time length check.

[Photo: Chris is eating lunch with two of his best gal-pals.]

- Christian is eating lunch with Tiffany and Sarah.

[Photo: Chris has his nose in the spine of R.L. Stine's [http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/r-l-stine/in-too-deep.htm ''In Too Deep''].]

- Christian is reading an [[R.L.Stine|R.L. Stine]] novel during Coping class.

{{-}}

===Page 10===

[[Image:416-CWCWeekP10.jpg|thumb|left]]

Wednesday, May 3, 2000:

On the 5th day, we decided to take a break from lugging the tripod around at Christian's school. But instead, we will observe the daily activities the he does at home. He likes to play his video games (i.e. [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], etc....). He also likes to go onto the [[internet]] to browse for new Poke News articles and to check the status of visitors (or he updates) his website, [[CWC's PokeSite 2!]] He also likes to go swimming at the [[Homos|YMCA]] pool; he needs to cool off after a hard day anyway. He also likes to sort and look through his book of Pokemon "Trading Card Game" cards and his decks. And he also likes to express himself in his art. Then later, he brushes his teeth, takes a shower, say "good night" to his parents, watch a little [[TV]], then he goes to bed with music to relax to.

[Photo: Chris is sitting in his bedroom, playing Pokémon. Severely underlit.]

- Christian is playing Pokemon Stadium for [[Nintendo]] 64.

{{-}}

===Page 11===

[[Image:417-CWCWeekP11.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sitting on his bed, looking over his Pokémon cards. Shot against light.]

- Christian is checking on his cards in his book and decks.

[Photo: [[The Wall of Originals]], only 1/4 complete, is already huge.]

- This is Christian's "Wall of Original Pokemon Cards."

[Photo: Chris's cluttered room features an early version of [[CWCville]]. Underlit, probably slightly out of focus.]

- This is Christian's City Room.

{{-}}

===Page 12===

[[Image:418-CWCWeekP12.jpg|thumb|left]]

Thursday, May 4, 2000:

On the 6th day, we followed Christian, and photographed the achievements of Christian and his friends. 1st, we noticed on the wall of the Cafeteria hallway were posters from [[CADD|Computer Graphics]] classes; one was his, and we photographed it. Next, in Christian's Contemporary Living class, he, Tiffany and Sarah were fixing filled pasta shells, garlic bread and a salad. [[obesity|Christian did not have any salad]]; lettuce or tomatoes (and [[Pickle|a few other vegetables]]) alone makes him feel green in the face. But After the bread and pasta shells were done (Christian and Sarah made the shells together) they all enjoyed a little something Italian. And during Photography class, [[Sex|he mounted a photo of his mother]] (he took and developed it himself) and later colored it.

{{-}}

===Page 13===

[[Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris's "busy" Computer Graphics poster reads "Computer Graphics... Make some neat-o stuff!" and has "CWC" slapped ''six times'' all over it. The right edge of the print is underexposed, though this is barely noticeable.]

- Christian's Computer Graphics poster has a lot of Pinball action.

[Photo: Two of Chris's best gal-pals are eating the salad that they made.]

- Sarah and Tiffany are enjoying their green salad.

[Photo: A photo of Barbara Chandler has been set in a cheap homemade frame. Corner and - in a failure so grand that it's reserved for professionals alone - a band in right side of the print is underexposed. How Chris did this, we'll never know.]

- This "Mother of the Year 2000" Award will be presented to Christian's mother on the Mother's Day of 2000.

{{-}}

===Page 14===

[[Image:420-CWCWeekP14.jpg|thumb|left]]

Friday, May 5, 2000:

On the last day of our week-long journey, we followed Christian through one tough Friday. Christian came to school wearing a dress shirt and pants, a tie, and his cap and gown were in the bag. He went to English class, and took a vocabulary quiz. After the quiz, Christian signed the Senior Memory Book of his friend, [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Miranda Mitchell. During Trigonometry class, he took notes on SSA triangles and the Sine formula. Then in Computer Graphics class, he sketched an idea for a self portrait, and it suited the requirements. But, he'll have to wait till next class, because he needs a couple of his "home files" to start him off. In Spanish 2, he started on a test, but he did not finish it, because he had to go for the Senior Group Photo. Christian had to walk down a mile-long hill to the football stadium, and when he got there, he put his stuff down in the entrance, put on his cap and gown, and went to join the group of seniors. After the long wait for the pictures to be taken, being crowded like a sardine surrounded by [[JERKS|immature teenage boys]], and having the hot, hot sun shining down on him and everyone else, he went back to the shady entrance. He got his stuff, and on the way back up the hill, his bus driver drove down to tell him that she called his father and told him about Christian and the photo shoot taking so long. So Christian walked back up the hill, he became tired and sweaty. After he entered the school building, he rested in the open commons for a few minutes. Then he buzzed for his father to pick him up, got ready to go, chilled out, and got picked up by his dad. And that concludes our week-long documentary of...A Week With Christian W. Chandler, the [[autistic]] boy that has made it this far. :)

[Photo: One of Chris's gal-pals is seated at a desk. Out of focus.]

- Miranda's first reaction to Christian's nice message.

{{-}}

===Page 15===

[[Image:421-CWCWeekP15.jpg|thumb]]

[Photo: Chris is sipping from a can of Dr Pepper.]

- Christian is getting started on his lunch.

[Photo: Chris is sitting at a long table, looking exhausted. Somewhat badly lit, as Chris's face is in shadow.]

- Tired and sweaty from the mile-long climb in the hot sun, Christian rests for a few minutes.

[Photo: Chris organizes his many Pokémon cards in his room. Extremely underexposed print, the right corner almost completely underexposed.]''

- Christian is preparing his decks for the Pokemon TCG League tomorrow.

{{-}}

===Page 16===

[[Image:422-CWCWeekP16.jpg|thumb|left]]

<poem>
A Week With Christian W. Chandler (A Self-Documentary).

Christian W. Chandler.
4/24/Y2K
Photo., 2.
</poem>

{{-}}

===Page 17===

[[Image:423-CWCWeekP17.jpg|thumb]]

''Christian's Parents.''

[Photo: [[Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] pose together, nearly managing to look happy. Barbara is wearing a shirt with the logo of First North American National Bank. ''Finally,'' a well-lit and mood-evoking photograph... gloriously enlarged on dusty paper.]

''Robert F. Chandler. Jr.'' 
''Barbara W. Chandler.''

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:36:07Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Transcription */

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a [[jerkops|police wo- police woman]]. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little [[homos|partner]]. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, [[chris and death|he's sound asleep already]], hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

The e-

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:34:00Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Transcription */

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a police wo- police woman. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little partner. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, he's sound asleep already, hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:32:43Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Transcription */

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] Dinnertime! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''Mmm, that was delicious dear''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a police wo- police woman. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little partner. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, he's sound asleep already, hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:32:03Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his diapers too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] Dinnertime! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''Mmm, that was delicious dear''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a police wo- police woman. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little partner. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, he's sound asleep already, hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:31:37Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "Reginald" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night|Christian Weston Chandler]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his diapers too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] Dinnertime! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''Mmm, that was delicious dear''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a police wo- police woman. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little partner. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, he's sound asleep already, hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Liquid Chris

2010-10-25T04:03:22Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* External links */

{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations}}

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|If you look hard, you can see the TRUE, HONEST [[Sonichu medallion]].]]

'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[File:Cwcc.png|thumb|left|Hope for a better [[CWCville]]]]
[[File:Original image.png|thumb|FALSE and DISHONEST]]

[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}

==Liquid Saga==
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the imposter|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
*A paper Sonichu medallion
*A striped shirt (brown)
*Pedo-glasses
*Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
*Autism

which of course made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
:''Main article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu."

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]." When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson." Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win, in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in, hook, line and sinker, having sold Sonichu Merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

====More Than A Feeling====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]
For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at Guitar Hero and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''
More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed, before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====SingStar Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris]]
{{Main|SingStar_Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, ''[[SingStar Challenge]]''}}

[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
*that he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
*that he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a Sonichu game for all consoles.
*that Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

===SHOWDOWN===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}
{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, ''[[SHOWDOWN]]''}}
On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN]]</ref>}}

===I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|B6Q1yFXgdoQ}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, ''[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]''}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The Singstar Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[internet]] knows that I am, he's the imposter. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid damn dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [his voice gets higher] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edge-wise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RdshGz_Pvks}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}
Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him "'''the previous Chris'''". In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him the "'''other Chris'''" repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.
{{clear}}

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Tn7WNTxCDck}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===

Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved heartsweet, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''[[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref>

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AQKzqnatMXw}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE]]
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone]].
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt]].
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off Sonichu]].
* [[Fat|His appearance]].

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref>, Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|right|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270]].]]
In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating ... or something ... in [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The imposter [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycatly sieze [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 November, 2009 the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4]].
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Solid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
*[http://www.youtube.com/cchansonichucwc CChanSonichuCWC YouTube account]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris Chan] on [[ED]]
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler Christian Weston Chandler] on [[Asperpedia]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplySpoons#p/u/37/uTVp0BtG3Ww The True, Honest Account of Liquid and his Twin Brother]

 {{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Liquid Chris

2010-10-25T04:01:59Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

{{Improve|massive reorganization|Expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga'' for great justice. Add details and citations}}

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|If you look hard, you can see the TRUE, HONEST [[Sonichu medallion]].]]

'''Liquid Chris''' (born 24 [[February 1982]]) is the '''[[TRUE and HONEST]] Christian Weston Chandler''' (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], [[Sonichu]].

==Prologue==
[[File:Cwcc.png|thumb|left|Hope for a better [[CWCville]]]]
[[File:Original image.png|thumb|FALSE and DISHONEST]]

[[June 2009]] was a busy month for [[Christian]] (henceforth '''[[Metal Gear Solid|Solid Chris]]'''), with both highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris, [[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]}}

==Liquid Saga==
{{Protip|If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.}}

====A challenger appears====
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid Chris torturing the imposter|thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
*A paper Sonichu medallion
*A striped shirt (brown)
*Pedo-glasses
*Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
*Autism

which of course made him almost [[Chris and Reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

====Ian Brandon Anderson====
:''Main article: [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu."

The next piece fell into place when he posted his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]." When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson." Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win, in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

===CWCivil War begins===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Now_Selling_the_OFFICIAL_and_ORIGINAL_SONICHU_Merchandise_of_CWC.2C_NO_FAKERIES_OR_IMPOSTORY|video]] that reeled Solid in, hook, line and sinker, having sold Sonichu Merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC]". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref>[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

==The battleground==

====More Than A Feeling====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]
For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at Guitar Hero and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''
More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed, before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009#Liquid.27s_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====SingStar Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris]]
{{Main|SingStar_Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, ''[[SingStar Challenge]]''}}

[[Fail|And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.]]

As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
*that he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
*that he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a Sonichu game for all consoles.
*that Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

===SHOWDOWN===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}
{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, ''[[SHOWDOWN]]''}}
On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.

{{quotebox|If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN]]</ref>}}

===I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.===

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|B6Q1yFXgdoQ}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, ''[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]''}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The Singstar Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[internet]] knows that I am, he's the imposter. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid damn dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [his voice gets higher] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edge-wise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RdshGz_Pvks}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

===CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo===
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}
Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.

In the [[Greetings to Kacey's folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him "'''the previous Chris'''". In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him the "'''other Chris'''" repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.
{{clear}}

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Tn7WNTxCDck}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===

Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved heartsweet, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free]] females with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''[[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo]] DS and [[Xbox]] 360, respectively.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M</ref>

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|AQKzqnatMXw}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}
'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

==Irony==
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE]]
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:

* [[Speech Impediment|His nasal tone]].
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt]].
* [[Chris and Money|Actually making money off Sonichu]].
* [[Fat|His appearance]].

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and the mirror is winning.

In early August 2009<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref>, Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|right|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270]].]]
In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating ... or something ... in [[100 2270]].
{{clear}}

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The imposter [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycatly sieze [sic] to the extreme!]]

On 17 November, 2009 the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's [[Sonichu 9]]. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.

Of course, since the comic is made by the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in [[Sonichu Special 4]].
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ayObshLZQwI}}
| Stardate = 2 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|s1SBdwZDN1k}}
| Stardate = 4 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Final Fight - part 3
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dYrgl-otclY}}
| Stardate = 6 XI 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Solid Chris]]
*[[Robert Simmons V|Solidus Chris]]
*[[Jimmy Hill]]

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
*[http://www.youtube.com/cchansonichucwc CChanSonichuCWC YouTube account]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Real_Chris_Chan The Real Chris Chan] on [[ED]]
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Christian_Weston_Chandler Christian Weston Chandler] on [[Asperpedia]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplySpoons#p/u/37/uTVp0BtG3Ww] The True, Honest Account of Liquid and his Twin Brother]]

 {{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Template:The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC

2010-10-21T03:32:27Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Transcript */

'''"Show RESPECT to me, 'C'CWC"''' is a video where [[Chris]] sings [[Niggos|Aretha Franklin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]", demanding that people—not only respect him, but, also— praise him, apparently in a religious manner, as Chris portrays himself as some sort of [[Chris and religion|deity]] that we should all [[Chris and his ego|worship]]. Chris notably [[fail]]s at spelling "respect", which is clearly spelled out in the song.

==Description==

{{quotebox| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC Thank you, Miss Franklin for that Cwcspirational Track. :)

And Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT.

And to all you nay-sayers and trollin' stupids, [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]]!!! And show me RESPECT.}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|TJsEtuKsIVQ}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 22 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:music.png]] [[Music]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshort.png]] The Classic Shortsleeve
| previous = [[CWC_Update_20_August_2009| CWC Update 20 August 2009]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
}} </center>

{{quote|R-E-S-T-E-D-C!}}

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: August 22nd, 2009.

Th' name is ''Christian Weston Chandler'', birth name Christopher, Spanish nickname [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]], [''shakes head''] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|NO OTHER NAME]].

[''Begins drawing on a piece of paper, using the [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] as an impromptu writing surface with some difficulty'']

I am so sick of hearing that ''stupid name'' that somebody made up back when I had that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] account, and ''I be a Chandler''. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my ''last name''.

I tell you, I'm so sick of getting all this disrespect. You dis—you continue dissing me, you're dissing [[Charlottesville]], and everybody—and all the indi—and all the individual citizens, and als—you also diss [[Ruckersville]]. I'm so sick of the [[Speech_Impediment|disrespest]]. We do not need disrespect in this world, all it does is just... makes me feel bad. And do you want me to feel bad? Do you want me to stop drawing the [[comic]]s? [''shakes head''] And I am not going to stop drawing the comics, not as long as I [''begins singing, with his usual level of talent''] [[CWC_Dare|DARE!]] TO! [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_1:_.2310|SURVIIIIIVE!]] It's calling me on to victory! [''stops, to the relief of millions'']

Anyway, all I'm—anyway, I am definitely getting all th—into the works. It's all in the papers... everything is in the papers.

[''Chris begins to speak in the rhythm of the song he's about to sing (or tries to, anyway)'']

So, all I'm askin', ya dern dummy 
Cause guess what? I give ya all my workin'. 
I'm castin', my [[Semen|pearls]] before [[Barb|swine]]. 
But yet do I complain? [[Lie|Not really]]. 
All I'm askin', in return dudes and dudettes 
'sa lil' bit of respet. 

'Cause ya you know me. I'm the [[Chris and Art|artist]]. 
I'm the [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|original]], there's no [[Liquid|substitute]]. 
If you don't like it, well y'all can go [[Asperchu|sommere else]] 
like to Hell. 

Eh, but the rest of you, give me my praises 
I tell you what, you'll get my blessin's. 
and I tell you what, trolls, you're so trollin' stupid 
don't give a dare. 

[''finishes drawing, then holds up the artistic abortion he has created'']

Fresh sample; match it to any book. 'Cause you know, all I'm asking for...

[''jump cut to Chris cueing Aretha Franklin performing and Chris preparing to [[Oversized_Drinking_Straw_of_Fail|rape it with his mouth]]'']

What you want, man I got it. 
What you need, you know I got it. 
All I'm askin'--PEOPLE!--is for a li'l respect. 

Der be lel beh, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a little bit, 
Just a little bit. 

I ain't gonna do you wrong, where you goin', WOMAN? 
[''Mumbles incoherently through this entire line''] 
But all I'm askin', is for a little respect. 

Der be lel beh, [''dramatic glasses removal''] baby, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a litle bit, 
Just a little bit. 

Uz give you all my workin'. 
And all I'm askin' returndudesanddudettes, 
Is to PRAISE me, und duh pluz smer git ho! [''sic''] 

AY, SHOUT IT LOUD I'M TRUE! 
[[High_school#Graduation|PRAISE ME!]] 
HAVE FAITH! Show me respect! 
I'm so sick of that hazing and mislabelings! 
You keep it up you're gonna continue to be cursed! 
Otherwise withthetrue andthefaithful, y'all continue to get my blessin's! 
Oooh, YA PRAISES! 
Sweeter'n honey. 
But guess what? 
[[Semen|Salt]] is my money. 
Oh, what you do for me ip—dip—is praise me when you get home! 
Bleah, baby! 
PRAISE ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LADIES! [[Chris and Rape|give it to me]]! 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! 
R-E-S-T-E-D-C, [[Semen|drink it]], TCB! 
Suckittome, suckittome, suckittome, suckit—GIVE ME RESPECT!

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-08-22]]

Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC

2010-10-21T03:30:28Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Transcript */

'''"Show RESPECT to me, 'C'CWC"''' is a video where [[Chris]] sings [[Niggos|Aretha Franklin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]", demanding that people—not only respect him, but, also— praise him, apparently in a religious manner, as Chris portrays himself as some sort of [[Chris and religion|deity]] that we should all [[Chris and his ego|worship]]. Chris notably [[fail]]s at spelling "respect", which is clearly spelled out in the song.

==Description==

{{quotebox| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC Thank you, Miss Franklin for that Cwcspirational Track. :)

And Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT.

And to all you nay-sayers and trollin' stupids, [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]]!!! And show me RESPECT.}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|TJsEtuKsIVQ}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 22 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:music.png]] [[Music]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshort.png]] The Classic Shortsleeve
| previous = [[CWC_Update_20_August_2009| CWC Update 20 August 2009]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
}} </center>

{{quote|R-E-S-T-E-D-C!}}

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: August 22nd, 2009.

Th' name is ''Christian Weston Chandler'', birth name Christopher, Spanish nickname [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]], [''shakes head''] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|NO OTHER NAME]].

[''Begins drawing on a piece of paper, using the [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] as an impromptu writing surface with some difficulty'']

I am so sick of hearing that ''stupid name'' that somebody made up back when I had that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] account, and ''I be a Chandler''. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my ''last name''.

I tell you, I'm so sick of getting all this disrespect. You dis—you continue dissing me, you're dissing [[Charlottesville]], and everybody—and all the indi—and all the individual citizens, and als—you also diss [[Ruckersville]]. I'm so sick of the [[Speech_Impediment|disrespest]]. We do not need disrespect in this world, all it does is just... makes me feel bad. And do you want me to feel bad? Do you want me to stop drawing the [[comic]]s? [''shakes head''] And I am not going to stop drawing the comics, not as long as I [''begins singing, with his usual level of talent''] [[CWC_Dare|DARE!]] TO! [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_1:_.2310|SURVIIIIIVE!]] It's calling me on to victory! [''stops, to the relief of millions'']

Anyway, all I'm—anyway, I am definitely getting all th—into the works. It's all in the papers... everything is in the papers.

[''Chris begins to speak in the rhythm of the song he's about to sing (or tries to, anyway)'']

So, all I'm askin', ya dern dummy 
Cause guess what? I give ya all my workin'. 
I'm castin', my [[Semen|pearls]] before [[Barbra|swine]]. 
But yet do I complain? [[Lie|Not really]]. 
All I'm askin', in return dudes and dudettes 
'sa lil' bit of respet. 

'Cause ya you know me. I'm the artist. 
I'm the original, there's no [[Liquid|substitute]]. 
If you don't like it, well y'all can go [[Asperchu|sommere else]] 
like to Hell. 

Eh, but the rest of you, give me my praises 
I tell you what, you'll get my blessin's. 
and I tell you what, trolls, you're so trollin' stupid 
don't give a dare. 

[''finishes drawing, then holds up the artistic abortion he has created'']

Fresh sample; match it to any book. 'Cause you know, all I'm asking for...

[''jump cut to Chris cueing Aretha Franklin performing and Chris preparing to [[Oversized_Drinking_Straw_of_Fail|rape it with his mouth]]'']

What you want, man I got it. 
What you need, you know I got it. 
All I'm askin'--PEOPLE!--is for a li'l respect. 

Der be lel beh, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a little bit, 
Just a little bit. 

I ain't gonna do you wrong, where you goin', WOMAN? 
[''Mumbles incoherently through this entire line''] 
But all I'm askin', is for a little respect. 

Der be lel beh, [''dramatic glasses removal''] baby, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a litle bit, 
Just a little bit. 

Uz give you all my workin'. 
And all I'm askin' returndudesanddudettes, 
Is to PRAISE me, und duh pluz smer git ho! [''sic''] 

AY, SHOUT IT LOUD I'M TRUE! 
[[High_school#Graduation|PRAISE ME!]] 
HAVE FAITH! Show me respect! 
I'm so sick of that hazing and mislabelings! 
You keep it up you're gonna continue to be cursed! 
Otherwise withthetrue andthefaithful, y'all continue to get my blessin's! 
Oooh, YA PRAISES! 
Sweeter'n honey. 
But guess what? 
[[Semen|Salt]] is my money. 
Oh, what you do for me ip—dip—is praise me when you get home! 
Bleah, baby! 
PRAISE ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LADIES! [[Chris and Rape|give it to me]]! 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! 
R-E-S-T-E-D-C, [[Semen|drink it]], TCB! 
Suckittome, suckittome, suckittome, suckit—GIVE ME RESPECT!

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-08-22]]

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:32:23Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]]. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns go to the [[jerkops|Police]], and that [[It's okay to be gay|Gays are accepted]] in Chris' [[CWCVille|Utopian society]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:28:30Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]]. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns go to the police [[jerkops|Police]], and that [[It's okay to be gay|Gays are accepted]] in Chris' [[CWCVille|Utopian society]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:28:09Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]]. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns go to the police [[jerkops|Police]], and that [[It's_Okay_To_Be_Gay|Gays are accepted]] in Chris' [[CWCVille|Utopian society]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:27:46Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]]. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns go to the police [[jerkops|Police]], and that [[It's_Okay_To_Be_Gay|Gays are accepted]] in Chris' Utopian society.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:27:28Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]]. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns go to the police [[jerkops|Police]], and that [[gays are okay|It's_Okay_To_Be_Gay]] in Chris' Utopian society.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:26:45Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:26:12Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:26:02Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] [[Bob|senior citizens]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T05:25:35Z

CrackAddledAutistic:

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[free money|tugboat]] [[senior citizens|Bob]].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfoOqS2mM8

Jackie

2010-10-15T17:20:40Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Lars */

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romley''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]]. Not much is known about Jackie other than what's present in a set of emails and a video uploaded by Chris.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me old fashioned I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''Yes'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and Liberace.

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[McDonald's|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

Beatles or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''Cats'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

Black or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''Bars''' or Stay Home

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''Email'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5 to 21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To_Jackie,_with_Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
Lars is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late September 2010, Chris developed an intense fixation on Lars, released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a tipsy Chris sported a do-rag and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

It should be noted that the name Lars is also the name of a character from [[Surfshack Tito|Rocket Power]].

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Jackie

2010-10-15T17:20:15Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Lars */

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romley''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]]. Not much is known about Jackie other than what's present in a set of emails and a video uploaded by Chris.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me old fashioned I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''Yes'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and Liberace.

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[McDonald's|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

Beatles or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''Cats'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

Black or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''Bars''' or Stay Home

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''Email'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5 to 21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To_Jackie,_with_Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
Lars is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late September 2010, Chris developed an intense fixation on Lars, released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a tipsy Chris sported a do-rag and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

It should be noted that the name Lars is also the name of a character from [[Surfshack Tito|Rocket Power]] Rocket Power.

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Jackie

2010-10-15T17:19:08Z

CrackAddledAutistic: /* Lars */

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

[[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|thumb|Jackie IRL, note the shirt and bracelet]]
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romley''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]]. Not much is known about Jackie other than what's present in a set of emails and a video uploaded by Chris.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==

===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me old fashioned I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], cook dinner together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''Yes'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''Car, Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, Watching movies, Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and Liberace.

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[McDonald's|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

Beatles or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''Cats'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

Black or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''Bars''' or Stay Home

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or Redskins

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''Email'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5 to 21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To_Jackie,_with_Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
Lars is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. Beginning in late September 2010, Chris developed an intense fixation on Lars, released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a tipsy Chris sported a do-rag and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

It should be noted that the name Lars is also the name of a character from [[Surfshack Tito (Troll)|Rocket Power]] Rocket Power.

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]