CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and anger

2011-11-29T05:53:59Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Help (talk) to last revision by Anonymax

<center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}</center>

[[Chris]] has '''anger''' management issues. These usually surface when he is under [[stress]]. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as "tard rage", an expression normally used to describe the seemingly super-human strength a normally mild-tempered [[slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case "super-human" and "strength" can easily be replaced with "impotent" and "bawling".

== Causes of Chris's anger ==
[[Image:Rawr fag.jpg|thumb|A typical fit of 'tard rage.]]
Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]], whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Bob]] and [[Barbara|Barb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him alone up in a room full of toys when he was a year-old. [[Chris's room|How ironic.]]

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could be his father, Bob. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely be afraid to retaliate to the things Bob does that annoy him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob walks in|cutting down the Internet]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that as of the time of writing, as well as long after, Chris is still a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]]. Being a virgin seems to make Chris feel like he is entitled to being allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only manages to [[masturbation|jack off]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he has large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just has to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme.

Furthermore, Chris is autistic and therefore lacks understanding of the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry, he sees no reason why he should not go positively nuts. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces has shown that autistic ''' ''children'' ''' can be very short-tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child - he is an autistic adult, and to be honest most other autistics have learned how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they are Chris's age. Chris has not. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'' - which is apparently directly brought about from Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that it's his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years. Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough...

== Examples of Chris's anger ==
The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered [[autism|confusing]], to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage he began to shout "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]" at several [[jerkops]] who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Wal-Mart]]. Most normal people do not shout [[Megan|anime]] references at people who are making them angry. Chris, however, expresses anger like a retarded Internet tough guy would do, taking out his anger on a video camera seeing as he knows it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat people up in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared from expressing his anger IRL, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|"Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in."|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|strangle him]] some day, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day," or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to the conflict between these extremes.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the police. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash.]]}}

Occasionally when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two e-mails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]] — the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all caps phrase. The second sounds more angry and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about.}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. SURLY you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700.}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his 'tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll and Chris beat it like a spoiled three-year-old who didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proved to us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box, but is unable to go through light press-wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video.

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the [[Chris Loses It]] video.}}

Another recent example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people even on the telephone. In his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris quickly became rude to Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his health and his attitude. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "Ian Brandon Anderson" and was completely oblivious over the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his stammering and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[Trolls|adoring fans]], another factor that causes Chris some notable grief was discovered to be the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger's syndrome.}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to be of the opinion that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person]].

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]
*[[:Category:Videos with RAGE|Videos with Rage]]

{{Chris and}}

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Tardrage.png]] </div>

Death threats

2011-11-29T05:52:36Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Help (talk) to last revision by HarryHowler

[[Image:Claw of fail 2.jpg|thumb|An evil man, plotting evil deeds.]]

[[Chris]] often goes on about how much he hates someone, or wants someone to suffer. In these rants, Chris occasionally crosses the line, and lets slip the fact that he honestly wants someone to die as horribly as possible. These '''death threats''' became increasingly common since [[2009]].

==Means of delivery==
On a few occasions, Chris has dedicated special time and energy to immortalize his desire to kill in his [[comic]]. In these works, the person Chris wishes to destroy is often depicted as a purely evil villain, hellbent on the destruction of our innocent manchild hero. While these are much more noticeable than his other threats, they are also more infrequent, as Chris is lazy, and often unwilling to dedicate the time and energy to hurting his enemies in fiction. This list does not include real people who have been fictionalized and then assaulted by Chris in the comics, but rather, actual people who Chris has actually threatened.

The majority of Chris's cries for blood were delivered via [[YouTube]] videos. Compared to murdering somebody in a comic, [[Chris and anger|raging]] into a [[camera]] is very easy, and it allows Chris much more opportunity to scream and shout like the child he is.

==Targets==
Either Chris's store of [[rage]] has steadily grown over years of trolling, or he's simply grown desensitized to the implications of calling for another person's death. While at one point it was a very rare occurrence for Chris to threaten or call for the death of his enemies, towards the end of [[2009]] and early [[2010]] Chris began screaming for murderous vengeance and penning elaborate, violent fantasies in the pages of his comic on a frighteningly regular basis.

===[[Adam Stackhouse]]===
One of Chris's earliest and broadest death threats, the primary target of which was was [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] in [[2007]]. Chris's primary complaint was that Adam's video featured his sister Anna in a supporting role, along with some beatboxing (neither of which was actually against the rules). He also had similar complaints about the second and third-placed videos, and so wrote a [[PSN Blogs|PSN Blog]] entry which included the following:

{{Quote|I curse those seven people (between the cast of the three illegal videos) to '''DIE and BURN!'''|Chris's idea of a calm response to disappointment}}

By itself, this could be written off as a pathetic outburst by a [[virgin with rage]], but Chris wasn't content to leave it at that; he elevated it to an actual death threat by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]], the first two minutes of which featured nothing but Chris repeatedly shooting a picture of the Stackhouses. Whether or not the threats towards Adam (and the second and third-place guys) were taken seriously, many felt that he was crossing the line by bringing Anna (who is considerably younger than Adam or Chris) into the matter, which is probably why he eventually removed the video from [[YouTube]].

In a rare act, Chris actually [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|retracted and apologised]] for this death threat... about thirteen months after he first issued it. The offending blog entry was deleted by a PSN admin, after Chris responded to an earlier request to remove it himself by telling the admin in question to "SHUT UP AND GO READ THE OFFICIAL RULES!!!!" (earning himself a temporary ban from PSN in the process).

===[[Jack Thaddeus]]===
On [[Christmas]] Day [[2009]], Chris uploaded a video aptly titled "[[Kill De Jack]]", making public his great desire for Jack to die. So much for goodwill towards men. Oddly, he never actually physically demanded that Jack be murdered in the course of the video, spending most of his time bitching about the [[homos]]exual ads that Jack had placed on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{Quote|And to go back to the current topic, '''Kill de Jack Thaddeus'''.|Chris, [[Download For Play Only|changing topics]].}}

Chris verbally stated his intent to murder Jack on 26 [[December 2009]]. Then on the 27th Chris uploaded another [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|video]], where he switched it up by demanding that Jack save Chris the trouble, and kill ''himself''. These demands that Jack and Clyde murder themselves soon became the norm, showing up in videos, [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|blog entries]], and scattered about on the [[CWCipedia]]. Needless to say, Jack continued to refuse to kill himself.

Unable to slay his enemy in the real world, Chris returned to his old revenge proxy — [[Sonichu (comic)|the ''Sonichu'' comics]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris trapped Jack and [[Clyde Cash]] on top of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, and then assaulted it with powerful soundwaves. This compromised the building's structural integrity, and effectively doomed everyone inside it to death and dismemberment. Jack and Clyde, unable to escape the crumbling tower, opted to throw themselves down the elevator shaft to escape being crushed under the rubble. These pages prove once and for all that Chris is more than willing to slaughter hundreds just to get back at someone who was mean to him on the Internet.

===[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]===
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|Jason bleeding to death on the cold ground.]]

The creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED page]] that brought Chris into the limelight has been the target of Chris's impotent cries for blood several times. The most notable instance of this is in [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Chris depicted him being slashed, electrocuted and ''faceraped''. It even gets stated outright that the assault was fatal, and that the only reason Jason was alive was due to "dark powers." Whether these powers are Jason's own psychic ability, or some malevolent force that merely wishes to see Jason suffer longer, is left ambiguous.

Chris also tried to play the [[True and Loyal Fanbase#Personal army|personal army]] game against him with [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|a video]]. While most of the message fell in line with the general "please troll this person instead of me" lines, one passage in particular stands out from the rest.

{{Quote|Shower him with as much hate as possible until that Encyclopedia Dramatica page is taken down, '''along with him'''.|Chris "subtly" expressing his desire for Jason to stop existing.}}

Also notable is the time Chris attempted to involve [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] in his murder plot. God and Jesus have yet to respond.

{{quote|I PRAY TO [[GodJesus|GOD AND JESUS]] TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL|Chris-chan, [[Sonichu Girls]] forum}}

And who can forget the phone call Jason received after [[Sonichu.net]] was hacked by [[Clyde Cash|someone]] Chris thought was him.

{{quote|[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|I PRAY YOU DEAD]]!|Chris}}

Although Jason did create the original ED page, he has never had a particularly active role in tormenting Chris, choosing (like most of us) to simply enjoy the show. As such, while Chris has never really "forgiven" him, threats against Jason have essentially ceased as Chris shifts his focus to more immediate threats.

===Clyde Cash===

{{Quote|'''[[Song of Christian#Part 2|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH!]] I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!'''|Chris, [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|while smiling evilly]].}}

The undisputed leader and hero of all of Chris's [[trolls]], [[Clyde Cash]] has been on the receiving end of his fair share of death threats. The sheer hatred Chris holds for Clyde is impressive all by itself. With the other trolls, Chris has at least tried to appear subtle about his dark intentions, or at least demands their deaths relatively infrequently. Where Clyde is concerned, Chris is extremely upfront and clear about his desire to murder Cash. Even Clyde faking his own suicide was not enough to escape Chris's wrath.

{{Quote|CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! '''YOU ARE DEAD!'''|Chris, [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|somewhat angry]].}}

Thereafter, Chris's cries for Clyde's blood upon took on much more serious undertones. While his earlier threats of strangulation and being forced to eat his own underwear were done with no apparent attempt to follow through on his dark words, more recent threats have come with demands that Clyde should come and face Chris in person, so that Chris might physically extract his revenge. It could be inferred by this that Chris has indeed planned out [[Dirty crapped briefs|exactly what his course of action would be if Clyde did suddenly show up at his front door.]]

{{Quote|You come to me. I will fight you! I will CRUSH YOU!|Chris, [[Challenge for Clyde|asking for a fight]].}}

[[Don't Mess With Me|Chris posted another video]] in which he roleplayed encountering Clyde Cash in real life. Upon being insulted by 'Clyde', Chris proceeded to pretend to beat up, choke, and finally slit the throat of the imaginary Clyde with a real knife, all as a warning to other trolls.

Chris's threats against Clyde culminated in a video where he [[DivineTrial|ordered his execution]], with a Shadow the Hedgehog doll standing in for the "Cashey-type person".

Finally, there's the matter of Clyde's family. It's not enough for Chris to merely murder Clyde. Chris has shown that he feels the entire Cash family line is just as deserving of his rage as Clyde, and has stated this outright. The fact that this is essentially a small scale act of ''genocide'' has apparently not occurred to him.

{{Quote|THIS IS FOR CLYDE CASH TO EVERY LAST ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS INCLUDING HIS COUSIN [[Vivian Gee|VIVIAN]]!|Chris, Immediately before [[Sign Destruction Video|sinking his teeth into a doll's head]].}}

===[[Liquid Chris]]===

[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] had made a number of videos raging against the real Chris, but he didn't cross over into death threat territory until after Liquid declared himself the victor of the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{Quote|'''DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU!!'''|Ian, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|eloquently expressing his disapproval]].}}

[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|Ian's solution to boyfriends.]]

Ian's murderous tendencies showed up again in [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. In the video, Chris manages to twist a game made for children of all ages into a tool to spread his hatred, as he breaks into Liquid's home and shoots him. Due to the limitations of the game, this is accomplished with a paint gun, but what happens next makes his true intent all too clear.

In a stunning display of unoriginality, Chris reused exactly the same plotline for [[Sonichu Special 4]]. In this comic, Chris depicts Liquid as a knife-wielding villain who kidnapped [[Kacey]]. Upon arriving to "rescue" her, Chris produces a handgun (possibly [[Transformers|Decepticon]] leader Megatron in disguise), shoots Liquid in both his shins, and leaves him to bleed to death. When [[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|expressed horror]] at the fact that he wanted to kill her boyfriend, Chris missed the point about why she was so upset. He told her that he could re-draw the comic, and that such shots were meant to keep Liquid from chasing them, completely avoiding the issue that wanting to shoot someone or permanently cripple them is off-putting. Chris also tried to justify this with the fact that Comic-Liquid was coming at him with a knife, and didn't seem to comprehend the real source of Kacey's shock: she wasn't angry at Comic-Chris for defending himself (albeit in a cowardly way) as she was angry at Real-Chris for constructing a fantasy in which he could justify maiming and permanently crippling her boyfriend, and be completely in the right about it.

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
Afraid that Vivian would not understand the "fury of [his] wrath", Chris [[Sign Destruction Video|opted to use a visual aid]]. He accomplished this with a [[Clown Doll]] and a wooden spike.

{{Quote|NOW WATCH WHAT I DO WITH THIS AS I WILL DO TO VIVIAN GEE IF SHE DOES NOT S- TAKE DOWN EVERY LAST ONE OF [[Audiobooks|HER VIDEOS]] AND CLOSES HER YOUTUBE ACCOUNT!|Chris, expressing his desire to stab an innocent woman to death.}}

While there is an obvious difference between attacking a person and a doll, the sight of a grown man taking such obvious joy in the idea of violently killing a woman is disturbing nonetheless. The video also includes a threat against every single member of Vivian's family (including her cousin, [[Clyde Cash]]), though it's not clear if he actually wishes to kill them, or just beat them up and bite off their hats.

[[Image:YouDieTodayBitch.PNG|thumb|A friendly letter.]]

Vivian recently revealed in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onov29D4lKc a YouTube video] that Chris also took the more direct approach to threatening her death. On 1 [[September 2009]] he actually sent her an E-mail directly demanding that she get a heart attack and pass away immediately. Fortunately, Chris [[CWC Update 7 July 2009|does not have a Death Note]], and Vivian survived.

{{Quote|D, Vivian G, D!|Chris, [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]]}}

Chris later [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cf2UM76sDU apologized for the threatening message]. While the apology was more like begging for money then a genuine show of [[Chris and remorse|remorse]], it's possible that he realized that personally sending people death threats could actually get you in serious trouble and was making an attempt at damage control.

===Alec Benson Leary===
While Chris has no problem calling Sonichu a [[parody]] in a misguided effort to avoid copyright infringement and create a moneymaking franchise, when someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu or any of his other creations, he goes right off the deep end. Alec Benson Leary is the gentle and kind creator of [[Asperchu]], which is effectively a parody of Sonichu himself as well as Chris's hatred of everything Asperger's and "seemingly" homosexual. For a few weeks after the comic's debut, Chris ignored Asperchu, regarding it as nothing more than a simple parody. Soon enough, however, many of his fans began abandoning Sonichu for Asperchu, and announcing their intentions in his [[Mailbag]].

On January 9, 2010, the first [[Captain's Log]] of that year, Chris [[Down with asperchu|called out Alec Benson Leary]] after advertisements for the Asperchu wiki (the [[Asperpedia]]) started showing up on the CWCipedia (replacing the homoerotic ads that had been an earlier source of turmoil). Not amused with the new ads or his Sonichu's appearance in the comics, Chris started raging out.

{{Quote|DIE, you son of a bitch, Alec, die!|Chris, being Chris as usual.}}

Alec represents the first time Chris has ever issued a public death threat to someone who had shown him respect. While most of the other individuals Chris has threatened have been antagonistic towards him, all of Alec's public communications up to that point had been a combination of respect and admiration. The only reasons Chris had to hate Alec was the fact that his character is overweight and his website runs on the same Mediawiki software. A few days later, Chris claimed that he knew where Alec lived in the description to one of his [[12 January 2010|videos]]. Fortunately for Alec, it was just another lie.

While delivering an in-depth analysis of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|Asperchu]], Chris threatened to have the ghost of his dog Patti maul Alec to death in his sleep in hell. It is unclear if he realizes he implied Patti Chandler is in hell. Alec has responded to this most recent threat by using his Adspace on the [[CWCipedia]] to ask people to donate to victims of the [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|earthquake in Haiti]]. Clearly, Alec is just as horrible a man as Chris claims him to be. Chris finally took his hatred of Alec to its conclusion in late February, slaughtering him in ''Sonichu'' #10 alongside Sean, Evan and Mao.

===Evan, Mao and Sean===
[[Image:SchuComic10P91.jpg|thumb|"BLOOD AND GORE!"]]

Chris included [[Evan]] and [[Mao]], two of Leary's partners in the creation of [[Asperpedia]], in another threat against Alec's life. Evan was most likely singled out because of his campaign to have [[Simonchu|his character]] removed from Chris's comic. Mao, on the other hand, has done nothing to Chris other than be a good friend to Alec. On 1 [[February 2010]] a reversing twist of situation appeared over the use of the adspace on [[CWCipedia]]. Mao was set on the receiving end of a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and then was asked to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|"Take down the ads! Or prematurely ROT!"]] while, on the other side, Evan and Alec [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|received apologies]] for the death threats with a [[Chris and remorse#Motivation to apologize|hint of reciprocity]] for the management of the ads on Chris's wiki. This is all taken back when Chris tells them along with Alec and Sean to [[9 February 2010|"rot... in... HELL!!!"]]

{{quote|My amends have been made.|Chris, failing at respect and basic [[Chris and English|English]] after an unjust trial resulting in torture and execution.}}

Despite originally "having less offense" with Sean, Chris demonstrated considerable rage later on, threatening [[15 January 2010|to beat him]] and curse him. However, he refrained from crossing into death threat territory until [[Sonichu 10]] - wherein he drew the dazed and confused artist attempting to defend himself in court, despite [[Chris and the law|totally unsubstantial "mental evidence" extracted from his mind being used against him.]] Then, approximately one page after finishing his [[Chris and remorse|apology]], he summarily [[Chris and death|executes all four of the poor bastards.]] While doing so, he has each of the extremely biased "victims" take part, including a toddler, and Chris himself. (Of note is that Chris literally [[Rage|depicts himself tearing out Mao's heart.]])

===[[Cogsdev]]===
A vague death threat was given when Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] on 11 [[March 2010]], [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&curid=40&diff=4006&oldid=4005 where Chris claimed] "there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me" unless every page about his sweethearts was removed by 12 March 2010. He later [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Featured_Quote&diff=next&oldid=4006 extended the deadline] to remove all traces of his sweethearts to 31 March 2010. This is due to Chris [[Wallflower#Anonymity|once again]] believing he was responsible for something becoming inaccessible on the internet. His threat to [[Cogsdev|her]] was clarified in this extension, in which he said "The deadline is March 31, 2010, 11:59 PM, [[Chris and English|Easter]] Standard Time. Do it, or there WILL be trouble. I am [[Pocket knife|Armed]] after all." This threat was realized when Chris created an [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|account]] on the CWCki, and proceeded to [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|fail at vandalism]].

Chris's threats were directed to the webmaster of the CWCki, and he initially identified the webmaster as male. As such, it is currently unknown whether Chris has managed to determine the identity of the webmaster, despite the domain name. He has yet to yell at her in a video, and given the death of the [[CWCipedia]] and his current attempts to avoid the internet, it's unlikely he will.

===[[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]===
On 2 [[March 2010]], after Surfshack Tito hacked in to Chris's PSN account, he weakly threatened that (Tito) would "[[Patti|get yours in your dreams- your- in your nightmares]]", while also firing a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse Shot]]. Twelve days later, in his video "[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]", he threatens Tito with his [[pocket knife]] and a [[Homos|panty shot in a kilt]]. Chris believed that Tito was the main reason [[The Wallflower]] stopped talking to him; the actual cause for their separation was partly due to concerned trolls and partly due to Chris's refusal to be "[[friend zone|friend-zoned]]". In either case, Chris's threat did not work; instead, he offended [[Cogsdev|countless]] [[User:Great Briton|citizens]] of Ireland and the United Kingdom in the same way he offended [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]] in his [[War Paint Video]].

On 17 [[March 2010]], Chris made his most threatening video yet: in it, he accused Surfshack Tito of being the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], a womanizer, and a rapist; called him a [[nigger]]; and promised to cut him up and squeeze his fat into his skull until it bursts open. This blatant display of racism is generally considered to be the event that prompted Jack Thaddeus to pull all of his ads from the [[CWCipedia]]. The Cwcipedia was then taken over by Mao, allowing the Asperpedia Four to totally wreck Chris's shit.

===[[Lars McNulty]]===
On 25 September 2010, Chris unleashed his anger against Lars, Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]] by smashing a model boat made of [[LEGO]] symbolizing the Titanic with a figurine named "Lars" aboard. Two days later, Chris address to Lars a [[New Address|second video]] in which he claims that he will [[CWC Fighter|"interfere"]] if Lars didn't [[Chris and hypocrisy|grow up]] and leave Jackie alone. He ends the video by throwing another toy boat to the ceiling.

===[[Michael Snyder]]===

On 13 February 2011, Chris released the [[Autism Tutorial]] levels in LBP2. In part three of the series, a rant about Mary Lee Walsh segues into a death threat directed towards Michael Snyder, in which Chris expresses his wish that the Game Place would catch fire and burn down, killing Michael in the process.

==Chris as recipient==

Chris said he allegedly received a death threat ("YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!") from [[Michael Snyder]] on 4th [[June 2010]]. Given that Chris was trespassing at the GAMe PLACe again, and that Mike was under the impression that Chris was trying to photograph his daughter, this outburst seems fairly reasonable. Chris responded very negatively to this threat, [[Chris and hypocrisy|bitching about the "verbal harassment"]] in his next [[6 June 2010|video]].

Earlier, during the Ivy Saga, Chris received a death threat from a Clyde Cash impersonator. Despite all of his tough talk, Chris was completely paralyzed by fear and actually [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shat his bed]] in terror. Before Ivy could convince him that the threat was an empty one, he had placed a decoy in his soiled bed and hidden under a pile of stuffed animals, as if he were a child hiding from the boogeyman.

==See also==
*[[death|Chris and Death]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]

[[Category:Lists]][[Category:Things Chris likes]]

User:Christianchandler

2011-11-05T22:12:02Z

CrassCrab: Blanked the page

List of Chris's edits to the CWCki

2011-11-05T22:11:07Z

CrassCrab: Undo revision 151185 by Groggers (talk)

[[Image:chrisshotweb.jpg|thumb|right|Summary of the incident.]]
After Chris discovered the [[CWCki]] in [[March 2010]], he [[Cwc_blog#14 March 2010|demanded]] that pages related to his family and [[Gal-Pal]]s be removed, giving two deadlines. Around midnight on [[April 2010|1 April]], past the second deadline, he decided to attack CWCki, signing up as [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]. In true CWC style, his [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|vandalism]] was [[fail|less than impressive]]. In fact, due to the fact that he made them on April Fools' Day, many users just assumed that it was an elaborate and lulzy prank on the part of the administrators. But no, it was f'real. Christian's posts were aimed at altering the articles he vandalized to make the CWCKi seem to be praising him. As usual Chris's [[Chris and English|tenuous grasp of grammar]] made his edits stand out like a sore thumb. Chris later returned under the guise of [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]], making several posts from 5 [[May 2010]] to 13 [[July 2010]].

Although Chris originally demanded that the CWCki's administrators only edit or remove pages related to his friends and family, it is perhaps telling that when he finally set himself to actively vandalizing the site, he ignored those pages, choosing instead to make edits [[Chris and his Ego|glorifying himself]].

Listed below are all of Chris's edits made on both his accounts, unedited by trolls and exactly as he originally wrote them. Exception is made for headings, which in the quoteboxes where Chris put a heading is replaced with '''bold text'''.

==GodofThunderGodofWar==
===1 April, 12:35===
His first action was to edit the Did You Know? column, removing the majority of the factoids while adding a few of his own, most of which were merely rewrites of existing comments.

{{quotebox|
*...This webiste, the CWCki, is a LOAD OF BULL?
*...that Christian Chandler ALWAYS IS the mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are not to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys healthy food, good drinks and just necessities with Good Money?
*...that Chris has been recording himself as early as [[10th grade]]?
}}

The following comments however, were left untouched.

{{quotebox|
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Chris]]'s sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris.27s_antics|Level Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
:*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is ''[E-Mail My Heart]''?*
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
}}

The unaltered DYK factoids were probably left alone because Chris failed to [[autism|notice the sarcasm]] in the comments and mistook them for compliments. [[Naive|On a troll site]]. It should also be noted that the comment about Pixelblocks was also untouched, save for Chris adding the word "not" in the middle. It was likely he perceived it to be a spelling mistake and decided to correct it, even though the word "neither" instead of "either" later in the sentence makes Chris's edit ''adding'' a mistake instead. The broken "10th grade" link was also caused by Chris, as the original version of this factoid linked to the [[Song of Christian]] instead.

*Altered for this article. This normally links to a [[Youtube]] video, but external links mess with the quotebox.

===1 April, 12:42===
He then changed the Article of the Now from [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] to himself.

{{quotebox|
[[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|right|200px|lolwut.]]

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]], Honest, Cool and Honest Dude, and creator of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[brilliant]] character, starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of most Normal Human Beings; Finding their Meaning of Existence, Their True Love, Their own Self-Character. No One should ever interfere or ever make a mockery of such a tride and true quest to finding HIS own Happiness with his WOMAN who is to be his Wife.

Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter.
}}

This edit is stands as perhaps the most condensed essence of Christian to ever emerge in pseudo-paragraph format. Between the utter butchery of the English language, blatant ego stroking, and unintentional creepiness ("Yes, friends, it gets far sweeter") Christian pretty much manages to sum up what legions of trolls have spent nearly half a decade trying to record for the world. Also note that, while on a website dedicated to trolling him, he still attempts to insert links to other parts of the wiki. In all likelihood, Chris planned to vandalize these elements as well but stopped due to [[stress]]. In the original edit, the link "brilliant" instead linked to the [[Fail]] page. Much like the 10th Grade example above, Chris removed this part and created a redlink where there wasn't one before.

===1 April, 12:44===
A couple of minutes after, he made the infamous [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] the Picture of the Now.

{{quotebox|[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|300px|left|lolwut?]]

A recently leaked image shows an illustration by [[Chris]] having [[Sweet, Sweet Sex]] with three young women, including a white one, a black one, and one in-between.Chocolate-Vanilla Swirls!!! YAY! 8D}}

Not much needs saying here. Chris chose the image and added some [[random access humor]]. Why this image? Nobody knows. Also, the red link this time was actually put in entirely by Chris himself, rather than being another unintentional mistake. Why he thought the CWCki would have a page on "Sweet, Sweet Sex" is anyone's guess.

==JenkinsJinkies==
===5 May, 01:08===
In his first edit on the new account, Chris commented on [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|the hacking]] of the [[PS3]], saying the supposed bug was just an antenna. However, later that day he tore out the antenna anyway, just to be safe.<ref>[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV]]</ref>

{{quotebox|
'''Dude, Really? That's an Antenna'''

I trolled around and found it. http://www.eeshops.com/ps3-wifi-antenna-tyco-19039281-w400-p-528.html --[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 01:08, 5 May 2010 (UTC)}}

===8 May, 03:09 - 03:16===
Chris then turned to the [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]], clarifying that his ''Resistance: Fall of Man'' add-on pack was not bought by the trolls who took over his [[PSN]], but his ''[[Wikipedia:Killzone_2|Killzone 2]]'' pack was.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88589 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> He also said that the ''[[wikipedia:Downfall (film)|Downfall]]'' he bought was a movie, not a video game,<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads&action=historysubmit&diff=88592&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref> and removed a slanderous mockery that implied that his [[duck]] was small.<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=List_of_Chris's_PSN_game_downloads&diff=prev&oldid=88590 List of Chris's PSN game downloads]</ref>

===3 July, 16:02 - 16:25===
Chris created the bizzare [[Coffee Place]] article, quoted below, in which he ranted about [[Amanda]], a part-time [[manajerk]], who wouldn't give Chris a ''[[Wikipedia:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse|The Twilight Saga: Eclipse]]'' Sweepstake token because he only bought a $1.09 ice cream.
{{quotebox|
{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|A view of the counter where behind which has its own Troublemakers.]]

'''Coffee Anyone?'''

Within this single fast-food joint of the small town of Ruckersville, VA, Bobby goes for a morning coffee and breakfast most days of the week. Sadly, though, on some of those days, along with other seinor citizens who have been going there for years for their own "Early Bird Specials", they get harassed by one or two of the snot-nosed, snooty employees.

One of which, Amanda, is one of the Part-Time [[Manajerks]] who gives her elders the coldest of shoulders. Even with the recent Twilight sweepstakes, one or two of these folks who have enjoyed the Medium Icees for a single dollar and nine cents during their limited-time promotion and received the cups with the game pieces on them, Amanda recently decided that "One Dollar is TOO LITTLE for a Piece of the Sweepstakes Action."

Amanda also really Opens Up for the Black People; she would be most friendly to any of the black people. Uncle Ruckus would really kick the shit out of the bitch for not treating us white people with good kindness and respect. All of the seinors who loyally come in for their daily morning bread would just itch for the chance to smack her ass and crack her [[china]] in due respect to the harassment she has butthurt unto them.

'''Amanda'''

Not much else is known about Amanda at the moment, but the seinors have heard that she is a mother of two (probably get a daily butthurt from her every night). She is also assumed to be still married. I feel really sorry for the dude who has put up with that woman for the amount of time they've been married.

'''More Coffee Goodness'''

It has been reported that Chrissy has been sighted there, but no photographs has been taken, aside from the one above, of him inside the restaurant.

Photographic evidence should be sent to cwcsightings(AT)hotmail.com! Also, feel free to show off to everyone around you at the time the fresh Gay Trucker Photographs are taken. Users will be greatly rewarded with [[china]] and/or [[pickle|pickles]]!
}}

This edit was the first time Chris began to make his presence known. All edits up until now under the JenkinsJinkies name were subtle. Here the subtlety ends. Chris made it obvious that it was him right from the start, from both his [[Chris and English|poor spelling]], (very few people are stupid enough to [[Merried Seinor Comic|spell "senior" as "seinor"]]), and his poor attempt to imitate what he believes [[trolls]] are like. For one thing he obviously believes trolls to be [[Chris and race|racist]], so he goes off on a tangent about black people halfway through, and he believes all trolls to have [[Chris and sex|sexual issues]], so he acts like an outright misogynist for the last paragraph. He also tried to use troll slang in the article, such as the word "butthurt", but he somehow managed to [[Honor roll|use it as a verb]]. Chris also updated the [[Template:Places|places template]] accordingly to link to his new article.

===3 July, 20:16===
After CWCkians later arrived and saw that some faggot had put up a shitty article with no citations or real evidence of anything happening, they assumed a troll pretending to be Chris, or else a [[Chris|really stupid person]], and put up a deletion template. Chris noticed and leapt to the article's defense on the talk page with this textwall.

{{quotebox|
'''Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama.'''

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Here, Chris established his troll backstory and continued to try and act as close to what he believed a troll to be like as possible, this time playing the part of a [[BlueSpike|sadist]] who hates Chris because he's [[Autistic|special]] who was [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|bullied at school]] and had [[Bob Chandler|daddy issues]]. Because that's totally what real trolls are like.

===11 July, 19:43 - 12 July, 08:05===
In response to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] leaving Chris a message on his user talk page, asking him for his details so he could send him his reward for providing them with information, Chris posted this strange rambling.

{{quotebox|
Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

The main focus of the message here seems to be establishing more troll backstory, giving excuses as to why he couldn't give Clyde his details, and dropping as many troll buzzwords as possible, like "[[4chan|Annon]]" and "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|LULZ]]". He also inquires about the hookers sent to his house by Bryan Bash, likely so he can take advantage of their services to get rid of his hated [[virgin with rage|virginity]]. Also notice how even when he's deep undercover as a Chris-hating troll, he still feels the need to bolster his own [[ego]], claiming to be genuinely afraid of Chris; something no-one other than Chris himself could ever seriously consider anything other than a joke.

When Clyde appropriatly pointed out that being afraid of Chris indicated Jenkins was a pussy, Chris replied with;

{{quotebox|
Firstly, I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper. Second, I saw those videos; he is still a curiously impulsive individual. It is people like him that tend to explode in a hidden-potential fury that could be very dangerous. While you may see him as a weak fuck, I see a crazy man who will likely strike at any given moment.

During the time now, I enjoy laughing during his weaker moments, yet I still am concerned in what intelligence and fury lie within him waiting to strike. He may be only waiting and plotting for the day when he may hunt us down, one by one. We can only hope that day will never come.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 07:05, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

Again, despite being undercover as a troll, Chris spends time trying to convince [[Clyde Cash]] and the others that he is really [[I AM STRONG|strong]], [[Honor roll|intelligent]] and will [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|probably kill them all]]. Again, things that only Chris could ever seriously believe. Also, add "wild as a serial raper" to the list of memorable Chris-Chan quotes.

===13 July, 22:24===
And of course, where would we be without a little advertising? Even while pretending to be a troll, Chris still [[Chris and his Ego|couldn't resist]] breaking cover yet again to advertise his ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' beta tracks.

{{quotebox|
'''He has his Beta Track Up'''

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
}}

This was Chris's last edit made to the CWCki before he then signed up for [[Trollin Train]], as part of a scheme by Clyde and [[Surfshack Tito]] to trick him into destroying his [[PS3]], a mission ending in [[The MovingForward videos|great success]]. All further JenkinsJinkies dumbfuckery is documented on the [[Trollin Train]] page.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[Coffee Place]]

{{The Internet}}
{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

User talk:Christianchandler

2011-11-05T02:39:17Z

CrassCrab: /* Your additions to the Micheal Snyder article */ new section

Why so negative with the comments on his pictures? [[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 16:58, 4 November 2011 (PDT)

== Your additions to the Micheal Snyder article ==

Please refrain from adding overly insulting edits to articles when they do not pertain directly to Christian Weston Chandler unless you have evidence to backup said claims that you make, thank you. --[[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:39, 4 November 2011 (PDT)

Michael Snyder

2011-11-05T02:31:01Z

CrassCrab: /* Mike's opinion of Chris */

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris apologizing to Michael.]]}}

{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above.}}

[[File:HNI 0022.JPG|300x300px|thumb|Purported photo of Michael Snyder.]]
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born late July/early August 1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>) is the [[manajerk|manager]] (but not owner)<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A]]</ref> at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the hero responsible for banning [[Chris]] from the store. According to Chris, he hated his guts. It's easy to see why. Oddly enough, this is the only manager of any store who pissed Chris off and was never referred to as a [[manajerk]].

Although Chris had [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|fumblingly attempted to apologize]] to Michael in a video in March 2009, his clumsy facade of contrition is not difficult to see through; it is, in reality, not contrition but ''attrition''! In [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|a later video]], Chris still clearly harbors resentment towards being banned, at one point adding an annotation accusing Michael of being "A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL". This further confirms that, in Chris's eyes, anyone who makes Chris angry or doesn't give him what he wants must be a [[troll]].

==Chris's Antisemitism==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris being his usual humble self.]]}}

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself, rather like Al Pacino, whom you see up there, is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris links Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", greed being a another Jewish stereotype, and wishes him to Hell together with the trolls. Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

== Chris attempts Murder ==
{{main|6 June 2010}}
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|Michael in a YouTube comment.}}

==Continued Resentment==
[[Matthew_Noble_call|In an August 2010 phone call]], we learned that Bob and Snorlax believed Michael Snyder (along with Megan, Lucas, and Mimms) to have been the original troll. They are convinced that Michael, along with Megan and some homosexuals (likely [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), conspired to ban Chris from The GAMe PLACe for being autistic. Said conspiracy goes on to blame Michael for every stupid thing Chris did in the last few years, going so far as to accuse him of breaking into Chris's checking account and stealing his credit card around the beginning of the month.

More recently, in [[Lars Call|a phone conversation with model boat enthusiast Lars McNulty]], Chris claimed that he would "be poppin' a cap in that old Michael Snyder ass" if he had a "[[Megatron pistol|real life gun]]". Although he was probably just talking big to try and impress Lars, this isn't the [[CWC is Angry|first time]] Chris has expressed [[Gun Comic|a desire to gun down]] somebody he believes has wronged him.

In the [[Autism Tutorial]] from February 2011, Chris express his wish for the [[wikipedia:Kristallnacht|The GAMe PLACe to be burned down]] along with [[wikipedia:The Holocaust|Michael Snyder]].

Chris's hatred of Michael hit a new low when he went on a diatribe in the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] videos. Chris, having no evidence by his own admission, accused Michael of being a part of a [[pedophilia]] conspiracy with the owner of the Game Place, topping it all off with saying he probably molests his own daughter.

==Mike's opinion of Chris==
Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments.

[[File:HNI 0021.JPG|thumb|Second purported photo of Michael Snyder.]]

{{quote|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder|Comment<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>}}

==See also==
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Daniel Mimms]]
*[[Lucas]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube Account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]

Michael Snyder

2011-11-05T02:30:24Z

CrassCrab:

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris apologizing to Michael.]]}}

{{quote|He probably will.|Michael Snyder to the above.}}

[[File:HNI 0022.JPG|300x300px|thumb|Purported photo of Michael Snyder.]]
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born late July/early August 1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>) is the [[manajerk|manager]] (but not owner)<ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q&A]]</ref> at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the hero responsible for banning [[Chris]] from the store. According to Chris, he hated his guts. It's easy to see why. Oddly enough, this is the only manager of any store who pissed Chris off and was never referred to as a [[manajerk]].

Although Chris had [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|fumblingly attempted to apologize]] to Michael in a video in March 2009, his clumsy facade of contrition is not difficult to see through; it is, in reality, not contrition but ''attrition''! In [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|a later video]], Chris still clearly harbors resentment towards being banned, at one point adding an annotation accusing Michael of being "A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL". This further confirms that, in Chris's eyes, anyone who makes Chris angry or doesn't give him what he wants must be a [[troll]].

==Chris's Antisemitism==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris being his usual humble self.]]}}

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself, rather like Al Pacino, whom you see up there, is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris links Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", greed being a another Jewish stereotype, and wishes him to Hell together with the trolls. Chris seems to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

== Chris attempts Murder ==
{{main|6 June 2010}}
{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|Michael in a YouTube comment.}}

==Continued Resentment==
[[Matthew_Noble_call|In an August 2010 phone call]], we learned that Bob and Snorlax believed Michael Snyder (along with Megan, Lucas, and Mimms) to have been the original troll. They are convinced that Michael, along with Megan and some homosexuals (likely [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]]), conspired to ban Chris from The GAMe PLACe for being autistic. Said conspiracy goes on to blame Michael for every stupid thing Chris did in the last few years, going so far as to accuse him of breaking into Chris's checking account and stealing his credit card around the beginning of the month.

More recently, in [[Lars Call|a phone conversation with model boat enthusiast Lars McNulty]], Chris claimed that he would "be poppin' a cap in that old Michael Snyder ass" if he had a "[[Megatron pistol|real life gun]]". Although he was probably just talking big to try and impress Lars, this isn't the [[CWC is Angry|first time]] Chris has expressed [[Gun Comic|a desire to gun down]] somebody he believes has wronged him.

In the [[Autism Tutorial]] from February 2011, Chris express his wish for the [[wikipedia:Kristallnacht|The GAMe PLACe to be burned down]] along with [[wikipedia:The Holocaust|Michael Snyder]].

Chris's hatred of Michael hit a new low when he went on a diatribe in the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] videos. Chris, having no evidence by his own admission, accused Michael of being a part of a [[pedophilia]] conspiracy with the owner of the Game Place, topping it all off with saying he probably molests his own daughter.

==Mike's opinion of Chris==
Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments.

[[File:HNI 0021.JPG|thumb|Look at his "slender" figure.]]

{{quote|When I go to hell, I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even 10 years ago you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder|Comment<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>}}

==See also==
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Daniel Mimms]]
*[[Lucas]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube Account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]

Template:Video of the now

2011-02-01T18:55:56Z

CrassCrab:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|hVmyW9stnYs}}</center>
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Video of the now

2011-02-01T18:54:39Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Champthom (talk) to last revision by Eamoo

<center>{{#ev:youtube|bOZRlN5NxFA}}</center>
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is used to display a video, which is normally related to recent Chris activity - or in quieter times - amusing fan-created content. Suggestions for new videos of the now can be discussed on [[Template talk:Video of the now|this template's talk page]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Main Page

2011-01-31T21:08:54Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by HonestandTrue (talk) to last revision by Thorgnzorrg

{| id="mp-topbanner" style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;"
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__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]

JenkinsJinkies

2011-01-31T21:08:51Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by HonestandTrue (talk) to last revision by IwegalBadnik

'''JenkinsJinkies''' (a.k.a. Junior Jenkins) was Chris's [[Disguises|trollsona]] from May to late August [[2010]].

==CWCki==
[[image:Fatjenkins.jpg|thumb|The great JenkinsJinkies]]
JenkinsJinkies began as another CWCki account, made by Chris to confirm that the antenna he had removed from his [[PS3]] wasn't a bug in [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked]], a bait page made by [[Clyde]]. It was quickly discovered that JenkinsJinkies was Chris, and [[Trollin Train|appropriate action]] was taken soon afterwards. Clyde contacted Chris through JenkinsJinkies' [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|talk page]], and it resulted in a short correspondence between the two.

{{quote|I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her [[china]] was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.|JenkinsJinkies, the 14 year old [[homos|sodomite]] who had gay sex at the age of 7 and lost his [[virgin|virginity]] to a High School student beforehand. Who also lives directly [[14 Branchland Ct.|across the street]] from Chris.}}

Chris believed playing a troll who was [[Chris and Reality|legitimately]] afraid of Chris's wrath would totally convince [[Clyde Cash]] himself that he was legit. He also unsuccessfully tried to scare the trolls into thinking he was plotting to hunt them down, one by one. Several [[/cwc/|lesser]] trolls believed they were the first ones to realize that JenkinsJinkies was Chris, and blew the whistle every now and again, but such leaks were uncommon and generally most trolls played along.

==Trollin Train==

As the trolls began to tug on JenkinsJinkies's marionette strings, a [[Trollin Train|trolling forum]] entirely dedicated to making Chris paranoid was established. Despite all posts, members and threads being only a few days old, Chris was [[Naive|completely convinced]] that it was the official trolling hub, where all the nefarious plots made against him were conceived.

As if it weren't obvious enough that Junior Jenkins was Chris, he also went out of his way to praise Chris for his ingenious schemes for halting the trolls wicked plans and/or dissuade the trolls from even trying - often combining the two themes into the same post.

{{quote|I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|JuniorJenkins, [[#Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 am)|Trollin Train]].}}

Junior Jenkins also had run-ins with the ghosts of [[Patti Chandler]] and seven year old Christian Chandler as Chris inexplicably believed that trolls would be frightened by these events. They were not, and Jenkins was roundly mocked.

==PS3 Destruction==

The most infamous event of Trolling Train took place when Surfshack Tito offered $9001 for Chris's PS3 to be smashed. Due to a misinterpretation of Tito's criteria, Chris thought he could get the reward if ''he'' did the smashing and simply had Junior claim to witness it. The rest [[PS3#Destruction|is history]].

Though Chris did not receive the $9001, he [[Monthly tugboat|somehow]] replaced his PS3 within four days.

==See also==
*[[Trollin Train]]
*[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]

{{stub}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:Nudes

2010-12-30T01:14:02Z

CrassCrab: /* Painful */

To do:

* Upload all teh nudes. (I might actually do this myself, someday when I'm sober [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 21:15, 18 March 2009 (CET))
**someone is one step ahead of you. Someone needs to get a collapsible gallery going on though. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:35, 19 March 2009 (CET)
* Maybe add a date when they were acquired? [[User:Pikanic2|Pikanic2]] 11:08, 15 November 2009 (CET)
:*Good thinking, we need to do this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:22, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

== the hell is wrong with his dick ==

why is it bent in such a freakish manner?

No idea. The easy explanation is Peyronie's disease(Check Google Images). My preferred belief is that Chris's odd form of masturbating(he stuck a washcloth under his mattress and fucked it) broke his cock, but that conflicts with his "it's been that way" excuse.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:59, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

Is it even possible to break your cock? I'm putting my money on Peyronie's. --EtonpilfAnetah

* Yes. Really. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 14:29, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Painful ==

fuck I had to create an account to say this (even though it's fucking unimportant)

but looking at his broken penis is like watching someone get hit or injured in the dick and then feeling the pain. IT'S PAINFUL TO LOOK AT A DISASTER LIKE THAT

I'm happy I looked at it though because it makes me appreciate my micropenis [[User:Ice Sandwich Tacos|Ice Sandwich Tacos]] 01:47, 29 December 2010 (PST)
:Thank you for bringing to our attention the fact that Chris has a deformed penis! [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 17:14, 29 December 2010 (PST)

Obesity

2010-12-26T02:18:09Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by CFA (talk) to last revision by MachPunch

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|A fine example of severe obesity.]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], [[Bob]] and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Futhermore, in his numerous dating profiles to discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
[[File:Futurechan.PNG|240px|left]]
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." One possible explanation is that Chris doesn't know his actual weight. It's anyone's guess as to when he last stepped on a scale. And considering how much fast food he consumes, it is safe to assume he gains a significant amount of weight each year. One might guess he may not have weighed himself since high school (this is a complete guess, based on nothing), in which case, assuming he has bulked up a good amount since then, he would believe he weighs approximately 200 lbs, either being too mentally crippled by autism or being too mentally crippled by his [[ego]] to notice how much fatter he has gotten. The only other explanation is that Chris has little to no muscle mass, with a body that is mostly fat (which, considering his lifestyle, is not unlikely). Considering muscle is denser than fat, it would be possible for Chris to weigh as little as 200 lbs. Even if he did weigh 200 lbs, though, his BMI would be 28.7, which is overweight.

Taking Chris's height into consideration (5'10"; 1.78 m), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 lbs (136 kg) thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for someone Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 (73kg) to 175 lbs (79 kg), but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.

Chris has probably asked his [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] about being fat. Being the coddling cow that she is, she more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).

In a [[WeighIn| recent video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to [[fail|fool people into believing he's not extremely fat.]]

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]]{{cite}}, during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us see is a fat autistic manchild.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Furthermore, [[Blanca]] was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.

==I mean, just ''look'' at him.==

In [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], Chris is seen wearing a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. [[Bunny Hop|When he moves up and down]] the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. [[I AM STRONG|When he flexes—''if'' he flexes—there's no way to tell.]]

Chris is so fat, when he fell no one was laughing... but the ground was cracking up.

==Places where Chris likes to eat==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==See also==
* [[Chris and health]]
* [[CWC 30 Push Ups]]
* [[51 50]]
* [[Muscle bra]]
* [[Sonichu's Edge]]
*[[A Workout]]
*[[A Hike]]
==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

List of restaurants

2010-12-26T02:16:53Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by CFA (talk) to last revision by MachPunch

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Chris]] isn't much of a cook, nor is anyone else currently living at [[14 Branchland Court]]. When he's not eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local '''restaurants'''.

==McDonald's==
{{main|McDonald's}}
Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there...more than twice a week or so.

== Burger King ==
{{main|Burger King}}
Chris favors McDonald's, while [[Bob]] prefers its rival Burger King. Thus, Chris appears to usually eat here when he's out with his father.

== Chick-fil-A ==

[[Image:ChickFilA.jpg|thumb|right|Admittedly, the store might've been a [[Chris and writing|literary influence.]]]]

'''Chick-fil-A''' is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American south that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and always being closed on Sundays (due to their Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Reputedly one of the most 'healthy' fast food options;<ref>http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/11230/americas-bestand-worstrestaurants</ref> however, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its [[Chris and health|artery-clogging]] big brother, [[McDonald's]].

Possibly its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children and foolish sweepstakes or [[My Coke Rewards|"reward programs"]] keep Chick-fil-A from maintaining the loyalty of creepy loitering manchildren. Thus, [[Chris]] has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|epic showdown]] battling [[jerkops]].

===Appearances===
*Chris met up with [[Emily]] in front of the Chick-fil-A at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. [[Apology to Emily|Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed)]].

*The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and [[Surfshack Tito]]'s agents during the drama over destroying Chris's [[PS3]].

*The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a lone Chick-Fil-A on the 2nd floor.

== Country Cookin ==

'''Country Cookin''', spelled without a "G" or an apostrophe (oh, those wacky rednecks) is [[Christian]]'s not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It is a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to [[Golden Corral]], ''Roadhouse Grill'' or ''Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse'' in the US, and ''Harvester'', ''Beefeater'' or ''Brewer's Fayre'' in the [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|United Kingdom]].

He has mentioned it on several occasions and even has taken his troll friend [[Joshua Martinez]] there.

===References by Chris===
* In an e-mail conversation with [[Anna McLerran]] from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
* In [[Mumble 2]], Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
* A Country Cookin branch is located in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

== Golden Corral ==

'''Golden Corral''' is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American south and midwest as ''the'' place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. It's one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he can [[obesity|stuff his face]] with fatty, low quality food at a [[Chris and money|low price]].

===References by Chris===
*[[Caitlin]], a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
*In [[Mumble 2]], he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
*Describing his ideal date spots in an [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
*Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a [[MySpace]] conversation from 04 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
*Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by [[stress]], during his final [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13|Skype conversation with BlueSpike]] Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
*In his profile at [[The Hook Cafe]] he lists it as his favorite restaurant.

==References==
<references/>

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

User talk:Champthom

2010-12-24T02:12:08Z

CrassCrab: /* What The Fuck Asshole! */

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]]

==Upload page==
Thank you sir, your change is much appreciated. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 12:43, 20 December 2009 (CET)

==Sonichu Franchise Games==

How about this: [[User:Dude/Sonichu_Franchise_Games]]

...replace these:
*[[Sonichu (game)]]
*[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]
*[[Pokémon:_Lightning_Version]]
*[[Sonichu_Adventure]]
*[[Sonichu_Advance]]
*[[EX-CWC]]
--[[User:Dude|Dude]] 05:47, 22 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's First Interview==
I noticed on [[Talk:Chris-chan_Discusses...]] you asked for someone to mirror Chris's first interview on Youtube. I know that was a while back, <s>but as far as I can tell no one has actually done it yet</s>, so I went ahead and did it for you [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-4Mvc5LbM]. I hope you're pleased. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 23:10, 27 December 2009 (CET)
*just noticed a while ago that it's aleardy been uploaded by The CWCville Library. I have no clue how I was so oblivious to that. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 03:26, 28 December 2009 (CET)
:*I didn't notice this either, thank you for telling me about this though and I appreciate your effort anyways.
:*Also can't seem to find it on the CWCvilleLibrary...could you possibly post a link?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:49, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Thanks, Champthom==
<nowiki>:)</nowiki> --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 09:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==New Hotness for Videos==
Take a look at this template for videos that [[User:NeoShadow]] made; it's really sweet. It can wrap around videos (in the middle of the page, where they are now) or it can be used as a sidebar.

*Template: [[Template:Infobox/video]]

*Centered example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes]]

*Sidebar example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes2]]

Thoughts? It's been on the [[CWCki:Priority_Listing|to do list]] for a while now, and we could get one or the other in place pretty quickly. The big question is which placement to use, and general style questions vis-a-vis the way it looks. Let us know! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 09:43, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*I really like it, but there was some debate (I need to see where) over the usage of video infoboxes, as some people argued it's unnecessarily replicates information one can gleam from the article. However, I think your centered example might solve that as this is ultimately what we can use to replace just pasting the video in Video sections of articles. I think the "Made by" would be useless in 99% of situations (with the very few videos made by other people, such as the Watch and Win one, or the videos by Scarlet). Personally I like your infoboxes, but I'm not sure if everyone else likes it elsewhere.
:Best I'd do is mention this in the [[CWCki:Community_Portal|community portal]]. As I said, I think your centered example might be very useful and a nicer display than just a YouTube video in the video section. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:11, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*This add-on is useless and redundant if you ask me. There's nothing new here you can't read in the introduction of the video, in the video navigation bar and I don't see the need for the "Festive" icons. I respect the efforts but I am a K.I.S.S.-Type of guy. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:02, 3 January 2010 (CET)

==IMPOSTORS==

Hey Champ, this is the "dude" from the old CWCki... somebody claimed my nick in the three hours between Cogs fixing the captcha and me checking back in =( Is there anything we can do about this? I can still log into the old CWCki to prove my TRUTH and HONESTY, and I used the same email signing up here (this account) and there (the old "dude"). --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 05:12, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
*I'll consult with Cogs later tonight, as I'm not sure if we can kick this other "Dude" off and have you have his nickname, especially given that it's an extremely generic name someone could have chosen (like Anonymous or Nobody or some name like that) or if we can do this, if it is right in doing so. Now I am concerned that people might try to leech off the fame of others by signing up for accounts of previous CWCki users, either to jump start their e-fame or as a way of trolling, so I'll need a second opinion. If anyone wants to weigh in on the matter, by all means do so. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:57, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, it's pretty generic, but at the same time, I only signed up around October, so it wasn't generic enough to be taken by then. I am kind of surprised that somebody snapped it up so quickly, since I was pretty actively trying to get it back myself. I suppose it could be innocent, but it's still kind of frustrating. Thanks for looking into it. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 14:52, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
can you give him the account back. i didn't know. i didnt think dude was gona be available, i though i got lucky. didnt mean to steal it, ill make another one [[User:Dude|Dude]] 00:26, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*No problem Dude (see what I did there?). Okay, here's how this will go down - new Dude, when you get a new account, AIM or message me in IRC when you do. I will merge your current account into your new one. That will free up the username "Dude" and old Dude can register that way. rpoblem oslved. If there's any problems, you guys let me know because then I have to resort to Plan B. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:36, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*New [[User:Dude|Dude]] has been [[Special:Contributions/Dude|inactive]] for about a week now... can I get my account back? --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 17:49, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*The new Dude needs to contact me so I can merge his old account into the new one, thus freeing up "Dude." If he doesn't respond in 24 hours or so, then contact me and I'll reset the password and give it over to you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:57, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

== I'll not take this treachery sitting down! ==

You dare claim superiority over my powers as a great and terrifying wizard!? You shall soon see the error of your ways, good sir Champthom. I am a vengeful spellcaster, and I will rape you furiously in your sleep. [[User:Artiph|Artiph the Destroyer, Omniscient Archmage, bearer of the Grimoire of Destruction, whose powers by and large surpass that of the Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 11:03, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

==Sup==
Have a job for me? You told me to get in touch... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 19:38, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
*Well I was going to ask you to help upload images but people got onto that which is good.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:57, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Coolio. On Another note, don't bother restoring my Jerkop status. I don't need it now seeing as how images have a MUCH higher ceiling. I'll stick around to improve articles and help people with images if they need it. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 10:02, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==SPECIAL MISSION==
I accept. Should I simply sign up for an account on Asperpedia and get started or what? --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 09:19, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, do that - sign up for an Asperpedia account and go zap to the extreme. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:17, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

==Just to let you know==

There's a new user who registered under the name ChristianWestonChandler. I am watching this account since it came online. I just don't get a good feeling about this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:00, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

==Apologies==

Thank you for fixing that mistake, that was the first time I added a template so I really am horrible at it. --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 5:05 20 January 2010 (CET)

== Chris's resume ==

Would you please be so kind as to move this to [[Chris's résumé]] for the sake of more accurate spelling, and to satisfy the grammar nazi in me? If you don't know how to make the fancy és, just copy and paste mine. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 04:22, 31 January 2010 (UTC)
*Also, please to be deleting [[Chris and fame]]. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:15, 31 January 2010 (UTC)

== A new Mailbag bombing==
Well, our dear Christian has now started giving a copy paste reply as his new method of rejection. And hes done it to Mike Jackson's widow. We had a quick discussion about that in the talk page, and we thought it'd be an idea for another mailbag thats just filled entirely with letters about this one subject. Like how we had a whole mailbag asking about Asperchu and stuff like that? I thought we could have another of those; Only this time have an entire mailbag of people calling him out for being such a prick and for still not properly ansewing letters. What do you think Champ? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:59, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* To amend that idea, I suggest having Sysop inform him of another pending legal issue that can only be averted if he gives full replies to each email--he can't use the "Inputed" response or delete the whole thing and replace it with a general response or else the site goes down again or something.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:32, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* Agreed. We need some sort of cover from him rejecting it in any way. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:56, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

== [[Politics]] ==

Please to be deleting. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 01:11, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

== Sandy Rosechu ==

Any idea why [[Sandy Rosechu]] is showing up in [[:Category:Templates]]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 22:17, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*Fixed it. The Squote template didn't have noinclude wrapped around its category. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:21, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
**That was my fault. --[[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 22:24, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

== halp ==

Yo [[Scampers|Champers]], could you derete this page here: http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Template:Christory/March_07 ? It will be confus if it doesn't turn up as a red link. Sorry for mistake. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 15:00, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

== YO! ==

Champ old boy, do you have sauce on [[:File:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|this]] here sniplet? It must have slipped right past me, and now I want to know what it is! [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:09, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

==Jerkops Anonymous==

Hey, Champthom. I've been in the mood to move a page or two recently, but my jerkop privileges were abolished with the move to CWCki 2.0. Would you mind reinstating them? [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

== Cole Smithey ==

Don't you think an edit like [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Z_%28film%29&diff=prev&oldid=344566166 this] seems too intentional to be an impostor? Never mind 30+ edits to the Cole Smithey article? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:13, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
==Re: Pic of Wallflower==
Is this ok? It was shopped and It looks less like a man
[[Image:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|right]]

-[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 04:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Posse ==

Champ, I don't know if you still need monitors, but I have no life and lurk on the CWCki pretty much all day. Hit me up if you need me. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:06, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
*NO U. Srsly, contact me on AIM or IRC tonight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:07, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

==Summaries==

Ok, so I will check. I've started trying to sort and format the summaries for each of the Mumbles, and it's March Mumble Madness, but I seem to have contradicted instructions (as I discovered having worked on ALL of them), by listing rather than writing a narrative. What is it you want exactly, so I can get on it ASAP. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:11, 18 March 2010 (UTC)22:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

==Article of the Now==

You wanted some sort of template to denote former articles of the now? [[Template:Articleofthenow|How's this?]] --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:58, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Clyde already made something, just need to incorporate it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:06, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Late to the party again. Never mind --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:23, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== List of Chris' lies ==

Okay, I trust your judgment on this. Wasn't sure if cleanup or deletion was the better solution and it looks like I chose wrong. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Quality Control jerkops ==

Hey, I saw your comment re "Quality Control" jerkops, of which none seem to be active at this point. I think I could handle that. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 21:12, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Champ old boy ==

People want to update [[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series]], could you unlock it for a while? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 09:12, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==
Is it cool for users to make new rewards\userboxes, like the Grammar Nazi and Assburgers ones, for instance? Some wikis I've edited on don't like for you to make new ones due to space or whatnot, and others let you go crazy with it. Just want to check beforehand. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, it's alright, just don't go too crazy by making a kajillion of them. Some of the useboxes, like the Jerkop, Admin, etc. are obviously protected and it's poor taste to award yourself awards like the Order of the Pickle, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

==April Fool's Day==
Since its going to be april fools day when the ultimatum expires why dont we just shut down for 1 day and let chris think he's won.
I mean worst that can happpen is he forgets about us, or the best is that he actually makes a "victory over cwcki" vid.

and then bring it back on the 2nd with a big fuck you chris

user: DKD 15.13 GMT 31.3.10
* No. That's stupid. Chris will make a "HA HA I GOT U TROLLS" video and quit paying attention to us because he thinks we are gone. If we stay up, we will have our own FUCK YOU CHRIS simply because we're not down. This will make Chris angry, and angry Chris is funny.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

*Never compromise, even in the face of <strike>Armageddon</strike> April Fool's Day. Also, in the future, make a sub heading (it's two equal signs, then your text, followed by two equal signs). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

This makes me worry now. What if Chris is pulling a long, convoluted April Fools prank, possibly the idea of a white knight? --[[User:Zehnfragezeichen|Zehnfragezeichen]] 16:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
*Don't be silly. The only White Knight who he listens to is Rocky, and even then, only just barely. And whats the chances that a church counsellor is going to come troll us? I think we're safe. Its almost certain that his plan consists of 'blank pages' and 'try to find and stab the webmaster' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

How bout we say that both bob and snorlax are dead, and put 14 Branchland Court up for sale? {{unsigned|Dan Dash}}

*Please, for the love of God, sign your comments. It's four tildas (~) in a row. I'm tempted to start banning people (albeit temporarily) for those who can't learn how to sign their fucking posts. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

:*Champ's got the rage. Dan, would that actually get to Chris? Seems to me it wouldn't bother him that much. Also seems he's making himself trollproof by becoming detached from us. Thoughts? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 23:04, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
:**He's not trollproofing himself at all, he's just fighting the urge to go online and complain about things. This is exactly like when we got him to make the comic--he was really diligent about it and when he missed a day he usually made up by posting two comics on the next. Flash forward two months and he's only releasing it in short bursts. He'll be back on his own in that time--less if he thinks Sonichu is being threatened. I suggest that someone put up an ad on CWCipedia that states that Chris has declared all Asperpedia comics cannon within the Sonichuverse. Or something about how Chris risks losing the "copyright" if he doesn't make visible use of it for more than two months.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:14, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

::*I'm not sure, he didn't even seem too angry when he discovered the Cwcipedia was devastated (now THAT would've been an April Fool's Day joke). Could it be that he's becoming numb to it? We've done almost everything we can to slander him, his family, and Sonichu. We've set up "sweethearts" toyed with him and, albeit inadvertently, brought about the end of his last IRL gal-pal. We sent the health department to his house, without effect, and have parodied Sonichu and Chris himself. What else CAN we do to this guy? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:17, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::**We didn't call the health department on him and he never learns from his mistakes. We do it again and again. He's not getting desensitized at all, actually. We know most of his buttons now, we've just got to know when to push them. Oh, and every now and then Chris will do something to troll himself, and that's always worth a laugh.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:27, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::*** But it's getting kind of cyclical, Chris gets a new sweetheart, he get's in love mood, phone calls are leaked, get lulzy videos and then, someone manages to anger him, he spews some death threats, then the sweetheart leaves/reveals as troll/dies and then we have sulk Chris, then he completely forgets about it and we have the smug Chris, and in between all that he makes a rant video once in a while. Pretty much we have seen everything chris has to offer for trolling.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:26, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==General question==
Alright so Im a massive newfag here, and I'm wondering how do I create those tags on your pages? For example the eurofag and amerifag stuff. Can I create my own and upload them onto my user page?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)DKD 00:54 GMT 01.04.10
Templates.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 03:20, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

== "Contact me ASAP" ==

What's going on? --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 03:59, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*Contact me privately. My info is on my use page, we can't discuss this openly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:25, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*I've tried to contact you through AIM before, but because I'm a cheapskate who can't use Windows software, I suspect AIM didn't work too well on my end. I'm now in IRC too. I hope this works better. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:36, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==CWC superstar==
Which Chris video did you get mentioned in?

[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 12:55, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*[[Bunny Hop|PYONG PYONG PYONG! HOPPY EASTER FOR]] [[Crass and Champ|CRASS AND '''CHAMP''']]. Technically he's referring to the crab named after me, so there should be an asterisk. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

==Artist for hire==

I would be pleased to help by uploading pictures on the CWCki. The problem is that I don't know where to start. There was a page with the needing drawings but it wasn't updated in quite a while.
I talked to Cogsdev on the irc #sonichu and was referred to you. I'm not new to the Cwcki, but I only registered only today.
Here's an example of what I can do, if it's good enough:
http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Sonee_2.jpg --[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 23:10, 13 april 2010

*I'd say that the [[Artist Commune]] for requested images is still current, so you can still try there. I'd say that the [[Mumble]] chats could use illustrations, mostly of illustrations to go with notable quotes from the chat.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:29, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's a pic for the IRC(16 october 2008) with 2 notable quotes from it. Since I'm not sure how to add it in a good way, I'll leave it to you.

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(16_October_2008).jpg

I hope it's good enough, I kinda messed up the pedo-glasse since it was done from memory.
Also, how can I link my signature to my userpage?--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 13:44, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's another one, this time for the IRC (20 January 2009).

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(20_January_2009).jpg

I tried doing the pedo glasses right this time. I'll leave this to you. Also, thanks for the edit Beat.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 22:58, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription Category ==

What are your views on a category for all articles containing transcriptions? It would make them easier to locate for maintenance or general interest IMO. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:42, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

== Question About Templates ==

Hey, I recently uploaded the 4 templates [[Template:Observer|Observer]], [[Template:Warrior|Warrior]], [[Template:Hero|Hero]], and [[Template:Legend|Legend]]. I was wondering what I should do with them( I'm not the best at using Wikis). Should I move them somewhere, edit them, etc.? Also, since you deleted two of the category pages, I was wondering if I should restore those or delete the other two. Sorry if there are any problems. --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 03:10, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

:Oh, also, just wanted to tell ya that I restored the two category pages for now (now all 4 are up instead of just 2/4). If you want me to change/move anything, I'll gladly do it. Just tell me what to do and I'll get it done. : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 06:14, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

== Old Cats ==

As part of a revamp of userboxes and their categories, there's a lot of now [[Special:UnusedCategories|unused categories prefixed with "List of"]] that need to be deleted forever. Can you fix? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:16, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:There's a few more List of... categories that need nuking. You might have just got hand cramp or something :) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:21, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN ON IT!]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:10, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

== Deletion, moving and er, shit ==

To do with the Twitter stuff. I remember you saying something about Jerkop powers not extending to moving/deletion. Can I? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:55, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

On a related note, I made a mistake on an [[Bill Lumburg/Fan:Sonichu 11|article]] I created and I'm trying to move it to my Userspace. Can you help me with this? I don't see a move option anywhere so I'm assuming only admins can do it. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:58, 2 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for taking care of that. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:54, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

== New Performance Style ==

Made this and applied it to a few pages after discussion that in the latest video none of the templates reflected the performance style (unadulterated smugness). Probably should have run it by you before I added it to a load of videos, sorry about that. :(

{{Comeuppance.png|text}}

:The template has been named incorrectly (Should not have the .png). The icon doesn't seem to match the style of the others - most notably the eyes. And I personally still don't think comeuppance is the right name we should give the template, but that's just me. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:02, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

== Video Template ==

So I made a change to the video template last night which inserts a linked version of Chris's name on video templates when someone puts '''|maker= Chris'''. Do you think that since the template is intended for Chris videos, we can just make the maker default to displaying Chris's name and drop the |maker= line for most uses of the template - retaining the option to include it if we need to override it? I need to run this past someone before I start rolling it out.

Oh and I'm considering making the template parameters lowercase, as is common with templates. I could implement a way for the template to accept both while I transition each use of the template to use lowercase. Worth doing? (Some of the parameters are already lowercase - messy!) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:31, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

==#sonichu ban/the stuff I was going to post==

Hey Champ, any word on the issues we discussed? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:16, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for reminding me, I asked canine and he was going to talk to cogs but never heard back. I'll check with her though, though tonight isn't the best night to do it (long story). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Not a problem mate, there's no rush. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Contact me ASAP, just need to clarify something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:43, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

==Quick Question==

Got something to ask you real quick. Will you be on AIM/IRC tomorrow? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:57, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
*Actually I'm gonna be out of town, but I'll be back Monday night.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:48, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Re: Glass vs Glasses ==

Wait what? Pretty sure glasses is what the majority of English speakers use when referring to a single pair of spectacles. It just looks stupid using "glass". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:31, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Uhh...Champ? ==
You deleted the Facial Recognition talk page but not the page itself. Just saying. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:35, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

== A jerkop resignation letter ==

It appears that my furry background is raising a stir in /cwc/, and some people don't want me to post there. It does, however, bring another thing in my mind. I'd ask you to remove my jerkop bit. There's two reasons for this: First, if ''not'' having furries in positions of power helps some of the trolls to sleep better in the night, this course of action would help them. Secondly - and this is a far, far bigger reason - I'm not actually ''using'' the block/delete powers much, and having an account that needlessly has such powers is obviously a computer security risk. I don't think losing those rights would affect me that much as CWCki editor; I'm more concerned about site security and user happiness. Respectfully, --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 16:32, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*I need to discuss this with Cogs first. I appreciate your selfless concern for the site but I'll be damned if /cwc/ tells me or Cogs how to run this site. What you do outside the CWCki is nobody's damn busy, to be honest. You are one of the finest CWCki editors we have, particularly because you have experience editing Wikipedia and I will not let you be intimidated by Internet fucktards at least on the CWCki. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:40, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
** Understood. I just have to add that this is one of those "last nail in the coffin" type things; like I said, the security issue is, in my opinion, ''far'' more important than the troll reaction. I'm thinking of all that ruckus that was caused by the hacked sysop accounts in Wikipedia a year or two ago. So please, if a policy needs to be made, it should be made on the security grounds, not trolling grounds. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:47, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*** I saw the thread on the /cwc/ you are referring to. In my humble opinion, you shouldn't give them any power over what you do. If you identify with a paticular group on the internet, it's not important. You seem to be an important editor to this fine Wiki, so having a bit of power can't be wrong in your case. The opinions expressed by the "members" of the /cwc" imageboard aren't worth anything on the CWCkie. Also, an hacking attemp on your account seems highly unlikely if you don't let any clues on your password. But it's only my opinion on the matter, it ain't worth all that much.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]]
**** I know. The whole situation in the thread was ridiculous. Me making the teensy bit of a mistake of being a namefag (I knew the pain threshold was low, but ''sheesh''), people spamming the thread with the (admittedly awful) drawings I drew years ago. (Careful readers might know that I ''specifically'' made a promise not to "spread the cancer" here. It applies to /cwc/ as well. But if the /cwc/ people wish to repost the godawful drawings, that's ''their'' headache.) The only real effect the thread has had on me, personally, is that I've tried to objectively evaluate some of the things that actually ''do'' suck: I mopped my user page of the rambling and put it in subpages, replaced some of the drawings on my home page (damn, those were old and awful) and I have to rethink the promotion strategies for my webcomic, since that is obviously not working. I still stand by the security concerns, but if Champ and Cogs don't think it's an issue, then I promise to not use the block/delete tools for anything heinous, as was the case before. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:02, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trouble in Asperpedia ==

I've just gotten confirmation that the recent confusion in Asperpedia is being caused by vandals [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=User_talk:IsabelMonday#HI_GOD_MORNING]. Now I know you've got no power over at Asperpedia, but if they've taken the admin accounts there's nothing they can really do, and I was hoping you might have connections with someone who could help take the site back. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:02, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mao is a [[Wikipedia:trickster|trickster]], beware of his cunning. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:03, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
**Well if it's a trick, its still pissing me off. I just made a project proposal to him and he answers by deleting all the fan content. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Have you considered the possibility he is TROLLING YOU BACK? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:07, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Not if he was destroying everyone else's fan content. That's just too extreme for trolling one person. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::* Admins can undelete deleted content so it could be an elaborate troll. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:35, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::* I'm aware of that, in fact my first thought was that Mao was taking a piss all over me, until I saw he was deleting the entire fan portal and not just my content. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Wait, your telling me that this is the actual Mao doing this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:01, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
As Champ said, you cannot rule that possibility out knowing Mao's traits. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:04, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, but I never thought Mao would do something like this. This is extreme even for him. And he's deleting Asperchu too. And he's talking about /b/ and people's passwords. And the toher admins are acting like that too. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:06, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::* He set his password to '''password''' (no, seriously) and some asshat got in his account. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:47, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::** *Facepalm* --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
{{quote|That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! It's like what a moron would set on his luggage!|<s>Mel Brooks</s> Rick Moranis couldn't have said it any better.}}

==Talk pages==

I think we should start looking at temporary bans for user who continue to use article talk pages for personal discussion. It's out of control. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:19, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

* He edited his page to change someone's comment to something compromising. When I called him out on it, he did that to me too, and then faked my signature on another compromising comment. Then again, I "had it coming" as you said. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 03:24, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
*I don't like being involved in others peoples' problems but Delabonte is abusing his power while being hypocritical. look at the history in his talk page.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:50, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Delabonte is neither a jerkop or admin, he has no real powers aside from being here for a while. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*I don't like it either. Not that I disapprove of the Not a Forum template--those are prefectly justified on any non-user talk page. There's usually a thread over on the appropriate channels anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal. I just don't understand why it should apply to user talk pages.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:04, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:I was talking about '''article''' talk pages, not '''user''' talk pages, but out of respect for 16BitAlex I have removed the offending article from the talk page and put it on my userpage. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 04:05, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::Partly my fault for not reading fully. But, if it was truly out of respect you would have removed the "offending article". You are right on Not A Forum for ''article'' talk pages. If only there was a forum that CWCki users could use. In fact, there ''was'', until the powers that be at a certain private forum thought that a public forum was a bad idea. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 04:22, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::when i said abusing your power i didn't mean the "NOT a forum thing". i understand my mistake regarding that. what i meant was the editing anonymax's and 16alex's comments on your usertalk after you told alex he could not delete the vandalism from his userpage.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:40, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:*Dudes, there's still [[Krapple|/cwc/]] and [[EDF]] (if you're totally desperate). Fuck, you can make your own forum, just don't go about declaring how you're gonna rip stuff off from PVCC or try to overtake PVCC. Fuck, hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] and they'll let you in PVCC if you're not a faggot. Point is, CWCki isn't the place for this sort of talk - it's distracting and there's better places to do this.
::I mildly tolerate it since once people get warned, they (usually) tend to start and it's hard to keep track of repeat offenders. I think I've temporarily banned someone who was a repeat offender once but as I said, it's hard to keep track of people who do that sort of shit over again.
::I really haven't seen this as a huge problem on article talk pages, and in the past I have threatened bans for trivial discussing that was getting out of control but for one or two people commenting I can sorta deal with. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

Champ, I think you should look into Delabonte again. I tried warning him about not starting a flame war, but he just started vandalizing other people's comments on his talk page. This kind of behavior isn't tolerated here. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 13:08, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
*Cogs has spoken to me, the issue has been resolved. As usual, in her favour. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 14:47, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

==I just counted==
For some reason, I'm doing this lately. You have, as of this writing, made 8925 edits to the CWCki, based on your contributions page. No joke. Thought you ought to know. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:29, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
*1) that's because I'm an admin, 2) most of my admins are me failing to preview and tiny shit 3) mostly talk page edits. Fun fact - my user page is the most linked page on CWCki because I comment on like every talk page. But yeah, I spend way too much time here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:32, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Yo ==
Champ! Do us all a favour and ban JESUS would you? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== You said to direct questions to you. So... ==
How in the fuck is that Coffee Place article a confirmed CWC sighting? Where in that photo is Chris or Bob, because I can't see shit? What does any of the text have to do with Chris or any sighting of any kind for that matter? Why does Clyde believe it's a confirmed CWC sighting? What evidence have we got? And why are you and Clyde so certain that this user's word alone can be trusted to the point of threatening bans for questioning them, when they haven't really given us any real proof of anything?

I really, really, REALLY hope that i'm just retarded and missing something obvious, because this makes NO sense to me whatsoever. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:03, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:shut the fuck up edward [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*To clarify, I'll be glad to address any questions on a one-on-one basis in IRC or via AIM.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:07, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**I've also got a question I need to ask you in IRC.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can't use IRC. My computer fucks up whenever I try, and believe me I have tried. Why am I never allowed an actual answer when I ask a question? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 12:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*You are thicker than liquid cement, Edward. Email me at origins.intervention@null.net so I can enlighten you. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*It's not sending. I keep trying to send a message and I keep getting a notification email telling me that they couldn't send it for some reason. Are you sure that's the right email address? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:30, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**Can I cover this, Champ?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:52, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Go ahead, or Jump is sure to enlighten you as well, Edward.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:58, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
***Try my alterate, the.new.chemical@gmail.com --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:I did actually maange to get a message through to Jump's alternate account. I'm waiting for his response right now. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:00, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:Everything's sorted now. Thanks again Jump. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:54, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== irc ==

<s>Yo, Champ, I'm trying to join #sonichu but I get a message that says the hostname could not be resolved, and when I do get in, it says I have to identify a registered name. I'm using Mibbit and I already have an account there, and whenever I use the link at our Mibbit article, there's no one on. What am I doing wrong? Sorry for being a total newfag.</s> nevermind, sorry for annoying you-[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 17:08, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

==Ban me==

I'm evading a permaban. Jesus Christ. Do your fucking job, sandnigger.--[[User:JerryMathers|JerryMathers]] 00:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

== We need some clarification ==

On the community portal you said "do not interfere with Jenkins" which I simply took to mean "do not fuck with him" or "let him work on his report unimpeded." Delabonte, on the other hand, claims you meant zero communication and is putting up some userbox on everyone's page who posted on his talk page. All I did was point him to he userbox list after someone suggested it to him. Could you please clarify for everyone's sake what you specifically meant?

Also, I think the 'fuckwit alert' box is unwarranted; seriously, why would the PVCC care about a harmless mistake, let alone monitor such 'criminals'? And if I really had broken your rule, me and the other users would have been banned by now, wouldn't we? Some of those comments had already been put up for days without incident. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*I took it to mean "Don't do anything that doesn't appear to be approved". I followed that to the letter and I intend to follow the proper instructions now that I've been notified. However, I think the userbox was an overreaction.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:16, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

I think your userboxes are very fitting and you wear them well. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 05:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*As we want Jenkins to keep up the good work, the idea is more of the former - to not hinder his work, i.e. not to post too many praises on his talk page. I'm not sure what's been going on as I've been out the past two days or so, but I'm guessing people may have lost control and completely praised Jenkins, especially for getting a seinor cheerleader. I can understand where Delabonte is coming from but srsly, don't be a dumbass when it comes to this sort of thing.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:25, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

==Regarding the 'Relics of fail' items.==
Right now, out of 26 different relics, a total of 10 of them have the suffix "of fail". I think that the 'of fail' tag on the end of many of the items is a bit stale. Not only does it make them all seem generic and without personality, but 'of fail' just seems kind of juvenile. I'd like to start a vote to change the majority of the names to give them more flair, so they stand out more. Talked about it in IRC a few nights ago, and the consensus seemed to agree. One of the names thrown around was to change "Plush Boobs of Fail" into something along the lines of "Plush Boobs of Repressed Sexuality." Give them names that indicate their use, descriptors that tell you about the item before you even read about it. "Pokewalker of Sloth" or "Pokewalker of Inactivity". Even if the 'of fail' tag is supposed to indicate that Chris created it himself, there's no reason for the Plush Boobs and Sailor Moon Poster to have it included. Let me know what you think. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 06:55, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with Brofose. Fail has become a bit of a lame old meme, and while it is one of the most apt words to describe anything about CWC, I believe the Relics would do well to be assigned new titles. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 07:08, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't really mind the "of fail" but I wouldn't miss it either.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 12:30, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this sounds like a pretty good idea. Perhaps we should consider some kind of formal way to do this. Like, we could have something in the community portal for users to suggest new suffixes, then from those like 5 favorites are picked out and a poll is taken for the new suffix. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 22:00, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Thanks ==

Thanks for pointing that out. Also, I'd like to talk to you about something regarding some recent edits. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Welcome Template ==

The welcome template no longer requires any parameters - but it works better if substituted. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:05, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

== My jerkop status ==

A week ago, Cogs temporarily removed my jerkop status (for deleting [[Template:UnderWatch|this]] template), but said I could ask you to give it back to me after a week or so [[User_talk:Cogsdev#About_deleting_that_template|here]]. So now I'm just asking you if I can have it back, please.--[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 17:55, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

==SIR==
I have been away for a while. I have come back to be a serious editor again. I was looking through the to-do list with every intent of starting to crack down on transcribing Mumbles... then I saw an interesting tidbit. It still says that images should be limited to 150kb. Is this truly the case? Because the upload screen says keep it to 7mb. If 150kb is really the case, then perhaps I should go on another resize campaign. I am up for it, I have time. I am asking you sir, if this is where I should focus my efforts. Tell me and I will get started right away. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 14:05, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
*The 150 kb thing isn't so much important nowadays since we have the new space and space isn't quite as limited, not to mention people are doing a good job at not uploading huge ass images. Transcribing Mumble chats would probably be a more worthwhile and rewarding en devour though, IMHO. Godspeed to you.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:56, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Roger that, I'm on it... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 18:16, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sonichu TAS transcripts ==

Would it be alright to upload transcripts from the animated Sonichu series? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 19:29, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

==Oedipus confirmation?==
:Yo Champ, could you pop over to Snorlax's talk page? I sourced a quote about one of Chris's more disturbing habits-- sleeping in his mother's arms-- which apparently came from you. I don't want to put it on Snorlax's page until we get a confirmation that it's accurate, so if you could verify that before it goes out there, I would be in your debt. Thanks, man. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 20:52, 26 August 2010 (PDT)

== Hey ==

Thanks for protecting my user and talk pages. It helps me a lot because I'm trying to get a fresh start here after the fiasco that happened nearly 2 weeks ago.

==[[Autism]] page length, symptoms page?==

<blockquote>
Warning: This page is 37 kilobytes long; some browsers may have problems editing pages approaching or longer than 32kb. Please consider breaking the page into smaller sections. —''automated warning on editing the Autism page''
</blockquote>

I'm willing and would actually kind of like to rewrite the whole "Chris's symptoms" section into its own page with or without a list format. The bulk of what interests me as an autistic about Chris is his symptoms, his utter lack of insight into them, how they affect his life, what others can learn from that, and so on. Frankly, I know dick about Wiki writing and the culture that surrounds it, but I realize that I'm kind of a peon around here, that not everyone agrees with me on certain things, and that what I wrote would be subject to editing like anything else. It would shorten this article if nothing else. #sonichu suggested just paring down the section, which is actually kind of against what I personally feel is all of what can be taken away from this whole endeavor other than "lol wut a fag," so just as a heads-up, basically I'm just going to start blanking random articles until I get permabanned if that happens.

Anyway, let me know! —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 14:12, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== Counting the Sighs ==

I noticed you suggested counting every one of Chris' sighs in the discussion page for [[Stress sigh]]. I was contemplating that myself; would you still be up for it? It would be a relatively large-scale undertaking but if we split the videos into chunks and had everyone pitch in to count five or ten videos it'd be done in no time. Afterwards a counter could be added to the front page, and we'd only need to update it whenever Chris released a new video. Plus we could throw a sigh count into all the video pages. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 21:10, 5 September 2010 (PDT)

==Jerkop==

Hi Champ, I's humbly submit myself for the jerkop position. I'll understand if the answer is no, I'll just keep doing my thing. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:10, 8 September 2010 (PDT)
:Grats Crass. Keeping on doing my thing... --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 18:13, 9 September 2010 (PDT)

== I wish to be a jerkop ==

I humbly submit my request to be a jerkop. However, I dunno if I can be one with all my previous faggotry between us (CWCki) and /cwc/.

If you need further contact, email me. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:53, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
*yeah, you can't --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 17:41, 11 September 2010 (PDT)
:* k, gotcha [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 18:02, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

==Deleted comment==
Do you have an archive of deleted pages?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 06:57, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

==Broken link==
On the Chris and Fashion page, link 14 on "the original" is broken and I have no idea how to fix it...I'm new to editing so I figured I tell you.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 18:02, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== Champ is such a dick ==
I didn't even do anything to the PVCC article and he wanted to stop my "bullshit" VIVA LA REVOLUTION -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 14:41, 29 October 2010 (PDT)
*I don't give a shit who you are Clyde, I won't tolerate your bullshit. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:46, 29 October 2010 (PDT)

== Fan Fiction ==

I have a Fan Fiction that I must post here, it needs peer review though! Any advice for posting, if posting here is still applicable? Thanks, [[User:The Brave|The Brave]] 18:40, 23 November 2010 (PST)
* No fanfics. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 13:53, 24 November 2010 (PST)

Well, to replace my brilliant and well-written fan fiction, I have gone through some of the articles and added to them elevated language, and some sorely-needed perspective. Thanks, [[User:The Brave|The Brave]] 18:42, 29 November 2010 (PST)
*A) There shouldn't be a comma after "brilliant". Making an error like that (on top of all the other grammatical errors you made in the Homos article) makes me question your skill as a writer. B) Don't advertise your shit here. C) You added like 2 lines to a couple articles, and your "sorely-needed perspective" was a tl;dr rant that is against the rules of the wiki. You suck forever. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 10:26, 30 November 2010 (PST)

I love you too Freecell...But I haven't advertised anything; if I was to advertise my shit, I would have posted a link. Instead of insulting me and my meager contributions, offer your allegiance and friendship to me. I am not the enemy, I am not the one you seek. We are all here for the same person, so let's stick to that. Thanks, [[User:The Brave|The Brave]] 15:32, 30 November 2010 (PST)

== What The Fuck Asshole! ==
I worked all fucking day on Sonichu: The Animated series, and while was adding the finishing touches and adding pictures you come along and fucking delete it. It was number 3 on the wanted pages. You're probably the same asshole who deleted my 4chan template. Fuck you faggot.
[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 17:27, 23 December 2010 (PST)
:It wasn't champ that deleted your faggot template, it was me. Also don't upload irrelevant pictures. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 18:12, 23 December 2010 (PST)

Pedofork

2010-12-01T22:57:25Z

CrassCrab: If I delete something, it stays deleted unless another jerkop or admin brings it back.

{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}

A '''pedofork''' ([ˈpɛdofɔrk]), a portmanteau of "[[Wikipedia:pedophile|pedophile]]" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage. This term was coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]."

Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to [[trolls]] and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Pedo-glasses]]
*[[Gaybian]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Pedofork

2010-12-01T22:53:44Z

CrassCrab:

6 June 2010

2010-11-28T16:16:35Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by ElRodrigo (talk) to last revision by Anonymax

[[Image:CWC drunk driving.png|thumb|A summary of the events of 4 June 2010.]]

'''June062010.MOV''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 6 [[June 2010]] wherein he discusses a plan he hatched while drinking to stalk [[Michael Snyder]] at the [[The GAMe PLACe]]. This is after mentioning less than a week ago that he was leaving the [[Internet]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|for the fourth time]].

In early June 2010, based off his own description, Chris was [[alcohol|at a bar]] in Charlottesville when he drove off to The GAMe PLACe to go after Michael Snyder, leading to a confrontation with a [[manager]] when Chris took out his camera and attempted to take pictures of Snyder. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. [[jerkop|Two police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas, listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken.

Chris, probably scared of their reaction, never told [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] anything at all about this major incident, and they did not know anything about until the [[Matthew Noble call]] two months later.

==Background==
On 6 June 2010, Michael Synder commented on several Chris related [[YouTube]] videos:

{{quote|Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He took pictures of my daughter and tried to run me over with his car. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it.|[[Michael Snyder]] on YouTube}}

==Description==
{{quotebox|**Do Not Believe Anything that has been posted On The Internet, Outside of This YouTube Account, as of May 28, 2010.

This Includes EVERYTHING that was said OUTSIDE of here, the Once Was [[Cwcipedia]] Before its Most Recent Hacking and my [[OKCupid]] Page.

[[Ego|I have spoken.]]

Have a good day,

Christian W. Chandler}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = June062010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dMZAsb2ALIM}}
| stardate = 6 [[June 2010]]
| subject = {{Rumours|Rumors}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Game Place|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim}} The Happy Jack
| previous = [[100 2189]]
| next = [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''sigh''] June 6, 2010. At this, uh, moment, I, uh, have an understanding that there are misconceptions and rumors being spread about me, which, uh, I would like to state, very- right off, that rumors- spread rumors about anybody, especially to make them look terrible, is just ''not cool''. But anyway, uh, first off, I would like to state, I do not, quote unquote, "''piddle'' my [[Chandler Cats|cats]]." I r- I, the only parts I touch on them are their back and their heads. Nothing more.

[''A long pause, where Chris seems about to speak several times.'']

[[Image:Tianasquare.jpg|thumb|200px|Michael Snyder in [[China|Tiananmen Square]]]]

Anyway. After that, let me tell you about, uh, what happened, uh... [''removes [[glasses]]''] ...last Friday at the, uh, fourth of June. Hm. Okay, so it was after- [[Fridays After Five]], I went over to a bar, and I had a [[Alcohol|Bud]]. A bottle of Bud. And I p- and then I played some solitaire on my [[DS]], while I- while I waited to the- uh, while I waited to the hour. But then, about, about three-quarters of an hour through, because I had a camera in my possession right then, I had the impulse of, "Hey, I'll go over to th- I'll go over to [[The GAMe PLACe|the PLACe]] and take a picture of Michael Snyder so that I can print it out later and [[CWC is Angry|use it as a dartboard]]." So then- so that- that's just basically what happened. So then I drove over to the parking lot, of the PLACe, in front of Staples, and then I made my way to the window to take a picture of ''him'', and nobody else. ...Right through the store window. Through the store window, just him. And that, uh, that, I was not alone there in front of the, uh, window, there was another dude who was apparently on his side and recognized me. He wanted to start a [[CWC Fighter|fight]], but, in a fi- in a fight or flee, I decided to flee. So I went to [[Son-Chu|my car]], the man ran in and got Michael, and then Michael ''jumped'' in front of my car. He jumped in front of my car. He- as a matter of fact, he jumped on to the top of my hood! He was looming over my windshield!

It was horrifying. So I backed my car up. I backed my car up. And I- and I backed it up to my r- to my right. Then I see that there was, like, a couple of [[Jerkop|police]] cars in front of me, so that was like the wrong way to go, I should have backed up the other way. But anyway. So, to go around them... I went to another... aisle, and I drove through that. And then, so then I- then I decided to make a left turn. Bad, bad m- bad move right there. 'Cause he jumped in front of my car again, risking his own life! I could have been going top speed! He was lucky he didn't get hurt, as far as I know! Though I did not run him over. Jumped in front of my car, so I back up. And then I tried going around. And then this- and then this woman, I don't know who- I do not know who the [[Chris and Censorship|blank]] she is, she jumps in front of my car, so I stop again. And then I started backing up, and then I get stuck from behind, and then I'm trapped. Between the, between police and Michael and whoever the hell this woman was. So then I sorted it out with the police, uh, they dele- they deleted the pictures, and, uh, and the wom- and then the woman... t- the woman came to me right up front and accused me of things, like, you know, [[Nudes|see- seeing naked pictures on me on the internet]], and then accused me of child pornography! [[Rule 34|''I'' am ''not''... a pornographer of any sort!]] And any [[Nudes|naked pictures]] of me on the internet were either tricked from me by the [[trolls]], where they s- deceived me, or I was blackmailed! And there ''were'' a number of blackmailings! As th- as they have sss- ratted themselves out, on the CWC- on their websites such as the [[CWCki]] or even the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] webpage. Anyway, the... through- and also, uh, Michael just basically loomed into me, and he said, he just basically shouted from me, [[Death threats|"YOU'RE DEAD!]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|YOU'RE DEAD!"]] Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment! [[Chris and English|So there's already under trouble for quote-unquote trespassing.]]

[''Another pause interspersed with attempts to speak.'']

And then, so, with that I told the police about... I reminded them, eventually, of- of the trolls of the internet that have, uh, been going against me, and so I warned them of websites such as the CWCki. ''And'' I named a troll or two. I'm not gonna say, uh, [[Clyde Cash|who I named]]. But anyway, they let me go with a- anyway I was let go with a warning, out of the parking lot. The point- th- the point is, the only pictures I was taking were of Michael Snyder. Nobody else! No children. ...I want to make that very clear. And also, I do not want any more rumors spread at all! It's bad enough you have to have ruined- you had to messed up my once-good name, and have to transfer it to real life. Which may, which, uh, I basically got that impression first-hand for practically the first time, so proved that theory, and it made me feel sad, because I am not the villain! The trolls are the villains. Because they spread- 'cause they troll me. They make up the crap. They exaggerate and/or twist around my truths. My spoken word. And they give me wrongful mislabelings. [[It's UGH!|I'm ''straight''!]] And they use damn Photoshop! To make it look like otherwise.

[''Another long lip-flapping pause.'']

So at this point, with my spacing myself away from the Internet, and I'm trying to put my name back at a [[Chris and English|clean state]], I p- I so- I put this unto everybody, and all people who look me up on the Internet. Do ''not'' believe ANYTHING... that- that's at all about me. Because I pretty much did away with my website, the CWCipedia...So do not believe anything that there is on the Internet about me. If you want clarification, send, uh, me an e-mail, or talk to me in person. I ''encourage'' talking to me in person. 'Cause then we can meet- 'cause then it will be face to face. And there is no better way of reflecting my [[Honest content|honesty]] to you, the general public, than face to face. ...I want to go back to [[PS3|a normal life]]. And one way I could do that, to help go back to do that, is to quell the bad reputation. So again, I encourage everybody who looks me up on the Internet, since there's nothing- since I have removed most everything about myself personally... don't believe anything on the Internet about me at this point. Don't believe anything on the Internet about me!

Christian Weston Chandler, [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[America|United States of America]]. I leave y'all with that, and I bid y'all... a good day or evening depending on the time zone.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2189]]|nextlink=[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]}}
{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Story of My Current Days

2010-11-25T17:43:05Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Acousticvirgin (talk) to last revision by Anonymax

'''"Story of My Current Days"''' is an account of [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] first written in his [[Animal Crossing]] diary<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Story_of_My_Love_Quest_Days</ref> in October [[2004]]. On 31 March [[2005]], Chris updated and renamed it to '''Story of My Love Quest Days'''. On 14 August [[2006]], he updated it again, changed the name back to "Story of My Current Days," and expanded it with additional material describing his relationships with [[Hanna]] and [[Megan Schroeder]].

Chris announced on 22 [[October 2009]] that it is "To be MAJORLY UPDATED with most current events; NOT ALL OPINIONS expressed in the story are cannon to current opinions and views." Normally, "canon" only refers to the continuity of a work of fiction, and not to reality, but then, [[Chris and Reality|it's hard to sort those two out when you're dealing with Chris.]]

==Story of my current days==

<blockquote>
<hr>

Story of My Current Days

By. Christian W. Chandler.

October 18, [[2004]]

Updated: August 14, [[2006]]

[[Honor Roll|Four Score and over Three Years Ago]], I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], have been currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad Depression. This is due to the following conditions:

# I am a [[virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]
# I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].
# I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some JERK (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]), which I've dubbed the fear, [[Noviophobia]], after the Spanish word for "Boyfriend." L

Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician [[Jerk]], [[Wes Iseli]]. At first, I was [[Naïve|naive]] about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of [[2003]], I tried to pick up a girl in a class I was taking at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], but she told me right-off, that [[So Need a Cute Girl|SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND]]! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a [[BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl]], by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say Hi to any girl, so I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." I had the sign placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some Bullies (Men and Old Woman) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much [[comeuppance|saltier]] now. So that female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], tore up my sign; it [[heart level|SHATTERED my heart]]. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from PVCC, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]] of the [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the [[University of Virginia]] (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my [[Love Quest]] (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with [[So Need a Cute Girl|my own song lyric]]:

{{quote|Tell me why, I'm stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage. 
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age. 
Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say, 
"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND."}}

As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!

Since, October, [[2004]], I've learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of [[autism|mental condition]], or that I was seeking a girl, only for [[Hanky-Panky]]. Of which is [[Honest Content|not true at all]]; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an [[Attraction Location]]. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me.

Also, I've learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was [[William Spicer|William]]). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.

I've also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pacing back-and-forth]] while watching a GBAVideo on either my Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their religion. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing random songs from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, [[2005]] issue of [[NP magazine|Nintendo Power magazine]], but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.

One day in March, [[2005]], I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my [[Sonichu Scrapbook]], and I've brought up some courage to start saying "Hello" to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free.

Earlier this week, [[Hanna|a girl]], who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and my SHATTERED Heart had a speedy recovery back to 100% We had a nice "Mini-Date," I maintained Eye-Contact, I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. J But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of [[Gal-Pals]], that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% tact.

Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58% I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!

Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I'm feeling much, much luckier now!

Mid-May, [[2006]], "I re-write this story from the inspiration I get from a very special someone who I've been Thinkin' About a sweet deal, and kept her close to my heart.

After starting at Piedmont Virginia Community College in [[2000|Y2K]], I've lied a somewhat neutral, care-free life as I did my school work, play my video games, and anything creative I felt like doing. A bunch of times, I've played Sonic Booms with [[Sonic the Hedgehog|da hedgehog]], as well as my [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. My Mind was Freed Up, yet I didn't have many friends or acquaintances. During the Summer of Y2K3, I've made a few attempts to get a Girlfriend; sadly, EVERY GIRL I TALKED TO already had a... BOYFRIEND (LOUSY, LUCKY JERKS! TAKING ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS, LEAVING ME WITH NONE TO CHOOSE FROM)!

Given that I So Needed a Cute Girl who was Boyfriend-Free, I didn't want just any B.F.-Free Girl, I wanted one who had a strong will, a sweet caring attitude and at least somewhat pretty; a real Super Girl. Some people said I was too picky, but that was only their opinions; not mine. I'm bound for a click similar to that between the Dark Magician and his Girl.

So, as of August, Y2K3, I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made a simple sign that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a bunch of [[Jerkop|Non-Blue or Black impersonating JERKOPS]], [[Manajerk]]s and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a Sweetheart was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, [[Virginia is for Virgins|"VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!"]] was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the jerks of the [[Greene County School System]] during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.

For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't STOP! In the name of Love, and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].

Eventually, light a magical lighthouse that randomly shone its healing guiding light upon my previously Shattered Heart and tortured Soul, and mended them back to good shape and form, [[Megan Schroeder|one girl]] walked into my life, like a [[Sailor Megtune|Sailor Soldier]] having just vanquished a heart-snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed her shining lustrous hair, here shiny Blue Chaos Emerald-like Eyes, and a personality strong, caring and true like a Buttercup bloom. I followed my recovered heart's instincts and Followed Her. As I got to know her over the months to over a year, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for her. I blushed more Strawberry Pink than I have ever before; everything around me was shining like the sun's [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mellow Color]], Yellow. Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.

Yet, one can't stay on such sweet passionate feelings without a few speed bumps in the road of life. Even though I didn't mean to give the impression that I was being forceful; for heaven's sake I wouldn't ever dare to force her to do anything she didn't want to, but she reminds me times that she isn't ready for Love beyond Friendship. I have no feelings against her wish, and I respect her decisions and feelings. Oh, but even though she Doesn't Say it, or return it, I Love Her, and no matter what, those feelings wills stand strong as time itself. And Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. I Won't Hang Up on what can develop into the True Thing, because I don't just Think, I know that I Love Her. My Love for her is So Pure and true, that not even Every One Love Song can spell it out as well as I am writing it now.

Every once in a while, I take a look into my Mirror Mirror of life, check the things I've seen and heard of. I've seen the Jet City Women, and frankly I'm not thrilled. I can't help but feel sorry for them; True Love is Priceless and rarely street-found. [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] is fun to watch, because it's so stupid, it's funny, as well as some of the Non-Anime programs on Adult Swim; lucky there's a [[Family Guy]]. I'm happy that I am no longer in the Heart-Shattered, Tired Soul Times; I was often so depressed, I could have been a Sofa King. So many stupid Ways I Wanted; I don't have to care too much about those paths now, but back then, sometimes I Couldn't Sleep so bad, I could have Bounced Off the Ceiling. Reflecting on those past Things Makes Me Go Hmm...

I always come to the conclusion that my future is solid now that my Me Plus One has a gelatinous conclusion. The Answer is the girl in the uniform that I've grown to Love.

While I do have deep scarlet desires for the eventual Party For Two en [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|La Cocina en La Casa de Casa-No-Duh]] (basically the Kitchen in my House), I am in no rush for a kiss on Rainbow Road; I can wait for the longest time; except when it comes to my stomach or bladder or course. I am capable of showing her a good time with a nice dinner for two at a nice restaurant, taking her to a movie or even a moonlit (or sunlit) rendezvous at the park; most whatever her heart desires. As long as I am Together With Her, especially in all of the neutral social locations, I am happy. J

The first time I see her smiling face on any day, it's like seeing the Morning Moon, shining with radiance. The only thing that keeps us limited to once a week is our respective Signals in the Sky. Each time I leave her, I hope I've left her with a smile and a warm feeling in her heart, as I do. It's In My Impressions, as well as what happens that day. No one can come close to her, because to me she is The Most Beautiful, and Caring Girl in the World.

Good Night, Good Morrow, for now I walk from the End of our time together; I will always look forward to our next Staff Party For Two. Is the Love between us truly a Destiny or a Warp-Pipe Dream; Our Sailor Stars will guide us. In the meantime, I can enjoy the two of us E-Mailing to Each-Other's Hearts.

<center>There is no Fin; We're still Living."</center>

Yet, there was a Finish; she had a Boy-Crush in the Military; Seriously Killed that Romantic mood. So, now After August 3, 2006...it's been THREE LONG YEARS, and I still Do Not have a Sweetheart (or even a girlfriend to build up into one).

So, given that Summer is almost finished, although I've graduated from PVCC, I will be hanging out at the University of Virginia's Alderman Library on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, hoping to be found by a Boyfriend-Free, 18-(my current age)-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl who would pick me among all others as the Unsold Special Fish in the lonely Sea of Life.

I can also be found at The End game center and the Game & Hobby Place on Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays (respectively) (look under Interests for times).

<center>Pretty Girl in the wait, please come find me for a soda and conversational date.</center>

<hr>
</blockquote>

==Story of my Love Quest days==

By. Christian W. Chandler.

October 18, 2004

Updated: March 31, 2005

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad Depression. This is due to the following conditions:

1. I am a Frustrated Virgin
2. I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, Boyfriend-Free Girl.
3. I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some JERK (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.), which I’ve dubbed the fear, “Noviophobia,” after the Spanish word for… “Boyfriend.”

Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, Sarah Hammer, a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician Jerk, Wes Iseli. At first, I was naïve about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of 2003, I tried to “pick up” a girl in a class I was taking at Piedmont Virginia Community College, but she told me right-off, that SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl, by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say “Hi” to any girl, so I made a simple sign that stated, “I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion.” I had the sign placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some “Bullies” (Male and Female) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much saltier now. So that female dog, Mary Lee Walsh, tore up my sign; it SHATTERED my heart. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from PVCC, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the JERKOPS of the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the University of Virginia (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my Love Quest (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with my own song lyric:

“Tell me why, I’m stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage.
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.
Tell me why, I ain’t ever wanna hear you say,
‘I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.’”

As for Wes, I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!

*As of October 18, 2004 to today, March 31, 2005*

Since, October 18, I’ve learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of mental condition, or that I was seeking a girl, only for Hanky-Panky. Of which is not true at all; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an Attraction Location. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me.

Also, I’ve learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was William). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.

I’ve also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: pacing back-and-forth while watching a GBAVideo on either my Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their religion. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing random songs from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, 2005 issue of Nintendo Power magazine, but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.

Now, we are brought to March 31, 2005: I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursday s, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my Sonichu Scrapbook, and I’ve brought up some courage to start saying “Hello” to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free.

Earlier this week, a girl, who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and my SHATTERED Heart had a speedy recovery back to 100%! We had a nice “Mini-Date,” I maintained Eye-Contact, I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of Gal-Pals, that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% in tact.

Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58%! I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!

Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I’m feeling much, much luckier now!

{{CWCipedia|chris=Story_of_My_Love_Quest_Days}}
{{Clear}}
==Sauces==
<references/>

==Links==

*[http://archives.neohapsis.com/archives/fulldisclosure/2007-11/0104.html full text also available here]

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Homos

2010-11-24T21:07:31Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by CarlosChantor (talk) to last revision by Anonymax

[[Image:Homobad.jpg|center|350px]]

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)|[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==

[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]]]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stuff like the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==

Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]]]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

In Chris's ''Carrie'' ripoff "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.
{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]].''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]] who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene," and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris,<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for ''"DA HOMOS"''. In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop] ]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>
*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women.]]
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|Sex and the City]]'' (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==

[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Recent transgender tendencies==
Like shoving [[dildo]]s and [[Julie Reveals Herself|medallions]] up his ass, as well as wearing a [[muscle bra]], a recent set of videos released on 19 October 2010 took Chris's faggotry to a whole new level. One [[Pregnant Act|video]] features the apparently [[Obesity|pregnant]] Chris giving birth to [[Lil' Chris]]. In another video, Chris, possibly under the influence of [[Jackie]], wore the [[Plush Breasts of Fail]] under his sports bra in an astoundingly creepy [[Breast Cancer Awareness|PSA]] for Breast Cancer. Trolls have speculated that [[Monthly Tugboat|with your help]], a South Park inspired Chris will go from a manchild to a tranchild; assuming Chris-Chan Rosechu doesn't piss that [[Chris and Money|money]] away on [[PS3]] games and moar [[dildo]]s.

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations". Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Its OK to be GAY Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32F2Dw01kJc}}
| Stardate = 5 August 2009
| Maker = CWCvillelulz
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) comes clean
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Talk:Pedofork

2010-11-24T19:01:20Z

CrassCrab:

"...portmanteau for 'pedophile' and 'dork'" Just curious, has that been proven? It could just be that he was thinking of a less-offensive word that started with "f", and "fork" was the first thing that came to mind. [[User:Ayvuir|Ayvuir]] 19:03, 27 September 2009 (CEST)
*I think it's just assumed the word he wanted was 'dork' as he's called trolls dorks in several of his videos. I'm not sure why it's spelt 'pedofork' instead of 'pedophork' though. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 19:11, 27 September 2009 (CEST)
** Spelling is not one of Chris's strong suits. Not that he has any. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 02:01, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

I was going to suggest something along the lines of a "Evidence Chris is a pedofork" similar to the homo page, though there seems to be more evidence to the contrary. Even Lucas made a post in that Q&A thread along the lines of "Chris really never showed any signs like that, but if you wanna argue it, you can try" (which, BTW, was one of the few nice things he said about Chris). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:37, 26 November 2009 (CET)

Lolisa: I dunno about that. I mean, she's ironically the MILF of all Rosechus. I wonder, what influence Chris used to name this character? Or maybe he completely misundrstood what "lolita" means? --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:50, 29 November 2009 (CET)
* I honestly think it might just be a co-incindence. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 02:02, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

{{JumpToConclusions}}
Get rid of the stupid shit on this page already. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 02:01, 27 October 2010 (PDT)
:*Yes, I concur. This thread is complete shit and should be shot to the moon. Chris isn't a pedophile, just stupid. Any and all seemingly pedophiliac "evidence" can easily be attributed to his ignorance. Chris would never harm a child intentionally. The only thing we should concern ourselves with is his use of the term "pedofork". [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:55, 24 November 2010 (PST)
EDIT: Removed all speculative bullshit. Perhaps we should add pedofork to a CWCism article. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 11:01, 24 November 2010 (PST)

Pedofork

2010-11-24T18:59:17Z

CrassCrab: Speculative bullshit.

{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|[[CWC's Second Message]]}}

A '''pedofork''' ([ˈpɛdofɔrk]), a portmanteau of "[[Wikipedia:pedophile|pedophile]]" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a '''pedophile''' (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage.

This term was coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]."

Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.
{{-}}

==See also==

*[[Gaybian]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Talk:Pedofork

2010-11-24T18:55:20Z

CrassCrab:

Sonichu's News Dash

2010-11-23T22:08:11Z

CrassCrab: /* Highlights from the newsletter */

[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|thumb|300px|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT FACE GOD DAMN]]]]

{{quote|Well, it’s the end of another month, and I still don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe my latest idea, the [[Sonichu]]’s News Dash! newsletter, will make the ladies take notice of me.|Chris, believing your own newsletter will attract women, 31 January 2004}}

'''''Sonichu's News Dash''''' was a newsletter distributed by Chris from [[2004]]-[[2005|05]]. In the finest tradition of fringe kooks, conspiracy theorists, survivalist tree-dwellers and religious oddballs the world over, [[Chris]] once decided that printing up a newsletter would be the best way to attract [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free girls]]. ''Sonichu's News Dash'' often contained poetry, [[Dating education|dating advice]] (oh, the irony), and details on Chris's life and personal interests. It would always end with his description of his requirements for a [[sweetheart]], similar to what was printed on his [[Attraction Sign]].

Chris was scolded by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for passing out physical copies around the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] campus, which led him to bear a grudge against her for years afterward.

==The ''News Dash'' Incident, in Chris's own words==
{{quote|Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the News Dash; I AM [[Chris and anger|VERY ANGRY]] AT THAT XXXXX! In response, Iplan to incite the [[True and Loyal Fanbase|masses]], and hope they DEMAND the return the News Dash so my chances on [[love quest|getting a girlfriend]] can be restored. I have also declared WAR on them as well!|Chris, greatly overestimating his own power<ref>[[Other]]</ref>}}

==Highlights from the newsletter==
The ''News Dash'' is a valuable source of information from the pre-trolling days, back when Chris was still stalking women in public places. Here's some tidbits from the ''News Dash'':

===[[Sweetheart]] qualifications===
As the newsletter was primarily a platform to promote himself to women, every issue ended with this description of his ideal sweetheart:

=====Issue 1-2 =====
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 21 (22 as of [[2004#February|February 24, 2004]]) and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:

*18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004). *[[Boyfriend-free girl|Does not already have a boyfriend]]. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *[[Obesity|Average or Slender body type]]. *Does NOT [[tobacky|smoke]] and/or drink [[alcohol]]. *5’ or taller. *Lives in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]] area. *[[Chris and race|White]]. *[[Chris and money|Average to High income]]. *Drives a [[Son-Chu|vehicle]]. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl.

*Christian is a very shy, and [[autism|very thoughtful]], person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], or [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]]. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; [[autism|he will not be able to notice]]. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu Medallion]].}}

====Issue 3-4====
{{quotebox|Christian W. Chandler is 22 and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:

*18-22 years of age. *Does not already have a boyfriend. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *Average or Slender body type. *Does NOT smoke and/or drink alcohol. *5’ or taller. *Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area. *White. *Average to High income. *Drives a vehicle. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl.
*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around Piedmont Virginia Community College, or Fashion Square Shopping Center. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion. }}

====Issue 5-10====
''Same as Issues 3 and 4, but with a link to his [[Match.com]] profile.''

===On the hiatus of the ''News Dash''===
{{quotebox|We here at Sonichu’s News Dash apologize for not writing up issues during the summer months, but the head chief of staff, Christian Weston Chandler, was in a Very Lonesome slump. And he was recently Soul and Heart-Shattered by a bunch of [[Jerk Cops]] at the Fashion Square shopping center, and by the female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], at Piedmont Virginia Community College. These people did not agree with his sound methods of attracting an 18-(his current age) Boyfriend-Free woman. But after a stroll through the lovely and serene campus at the [[University of Virginia]], he regained some peace within himself. And so, while he is still journeying through his [[Love Quest]], the News Dash will run Bi-Monthly, but with more general articles of interest. Thank you for your patience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm Sonichu's News Dash #5]</ref>}}

===A Very Special Holiday Chris-chan===
{{quotebox|The Christmas season is upon us, and with that comes the rush for the C-Mas Turkey, Tree (real or artificial), and of course, the presents. So, Sonichu and the News Dash have some helpful tips to give a better feel of the season to all.

• If your children, or spouse, want some video games, but no [[toys]], buy some toys anyway, they will be surprised. We recommend any of [[Lego]] sets, [[Transformers]] and [[Kimmi|Dolls]]. 
• Wrap the presents anyway, because they always want to rip up the wrapping paper like a candy bar. 
• Always remember that Christmas is the celebration of family, so [[Cole Smithey|never leave out any relatives]] from your festivities. 
• If you do not have a family, then find a friend to share C-Mas with <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews6.htm</ref>. }}
 
{{quotebox|While all have families, so does he. While all men have Girlfriends, this man does not, and he is very depressed about it. “Since Agust, 2003,” Christian Weston Chandler said, “I’ve been trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free, 18-22-year old girl.” His methods were sound and well-thought; simple signs, looking cool, and “chilling” in the most social places. His one fault, that has restricted him from finding the Ms. Right, he had a major case of [[Noviophobia]], where he is afraid to even approach most ladies, because he thought that they were all already paired up with “[[JERKS|A Jerk]].” His thoughts are sound as the [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|Boyfriend Factor]] is so high, it leaves him with no pretty ladies to choose from. So, if there are any pretty ladies without a…Boyfriend, you can find this lonesome [[CWC "Boyfriend"|prince]] hanging at the Fashion Square mall Saturday afternoons, in front of Ambercrombie & Fitch. [[Rape|Don’t let his friendly smile fool you]]; he is hurting inside. Please help Chris have a Happy Holiday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}
 
{{quotebox|[[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]], who previously shattered hearts and souls, is handing out presents at [[CWCville|Cwcville’s]] Christmas Tree lighting? Odd, but true, and when interviewed, she had this to say, “After three months in prison, I became rehabilitated and more happy to give joy to those I’ve hurt.” [[Chris and his ego|Then we asked her about her oldest victim, Christian Chandler, she said, “I plan to give him a surprise on Christmas Eve, a heart-felt apology.” ]] Well, I guess we’ll see if she will be true to her word on the night before Christmas.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}

===Prelude to [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]===
{{quotebox|Sonichu’s father, Christian Chandler, is working on a [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic book]]. It will be hand-drawn, as most comics are. And it will feature “Sonichu’s Origin,” the “Genesis of the Lovehogs,” and “Sonichu’s First Big Battle.” It will also include exclusive introductory content into Chris’s world, as well as Sonichu’s world. Chris said that his target date is before [[2005#June|June, 2005]], the month of the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] Convention in Richmond, VA; he plans to be there. So, if you’ve been a Sonichu fan up to then, come find him at the convention, and he will be happy to share the hand-drawn stories of Sonichu!

<nowiki>*</nowiki>Sonichu cover provided by Author, Christian Weston Chandler.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews6.htm</ref>}}

===Chris's dating tips===
{{quote|Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu running a mile. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is. |Chris, preaching what he never practices}}

{{quotebox|Take it from the lonesome man in [[Virginia]] who has been trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free]] girl for over One year and Five months, with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|Boyfriend Factor being infinitely high]], all you lonesome saps have to summon up courage, or you won’t be able to get anywhere. So here are some tips from me, as well as noted givers of the 411:

* (CWC) When a girl does acknowledge your existence, rather by a simple wave, or as extreme as a hug, forget the Boyfriend-Factor, summon your courage and talk to her. And be sure to ask her if she does have a Boyfriend.
* (CWC) If she does have a Boyfriend, keep her name in mind, because she could help you hook up with a pretty Boyfriend-Free girl in the future.
* ([[Wikipedia:John Tesh|John Tesh]]) If you want to give her a gift right off the bat, give, or send, her a bouquet of flowers, other than the clichéd Roses, and no more. You’ll have plenty of time in the future to give her more.
* (John Tesh) The right time to give her a gift, during your date, is during, of after, desert [''sic''] (especially if you made the desert [''sic''] for her yourself).
* (CWC) If you are meeting her for the first time, just keep a cool head, and be yourself. But if you want a quick list of what to do, here’s my list, courtesy of the [[Sprung]] game for the [[Nintendo]] DS:
* Introduce yourself: try to look serious on your face; do not smile big, and do not use a forceful voice tone.
* Compliment her: on her [[hair]] or [[eyes]].
* Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an offensive joke. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ [[Donald Duck]]. Quack! Quack!
* (Depending on the situation), offer to buy her a drink, or comment on a topic of interest (such as the weather).
* Ask for her name: make it sound kind and fun. For example, you can say, “Do angels like you have names?” If she is offended by that, apologize and say that you thought it was a kind way of asking her name. <ref>Fun fact: Chris used this with [[Anna]] in [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]]</ref> ?
* (I’d add this step) Ask her about herself: where her family came from, [[Mary Poppins|favorite movie]] or color, and other fun basic things like that. And try to make the conversation fun, because the more fun she has with you, the more likely you are to get her phone number.
* Ask for her phone number: if she does not give it to you now, just give her time, and just hang with her, and she’ll give it to you.
* Ask her for a date: make it immediate, like after work or school. An immediate date shows real interest, or desperation.
*(CWC) Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu running a mile. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is.
* (John Tesh) Your date is very important. If you take her to a party, then you probably feel like you need the support of your friends in front of your girlfriend. If you take her to a movie, you are likely to want her to yourself, and sneak a smooch in the dark. But if you take her to dinner, then you are showing real interest, because you are most able to converse over a good meal.
* (John Tesh) When you want to watch a movie with her, you should pick a romance flick. Since you and she are less likely to feel romantic during any other movie category, like action or horror. And hey, she will most appreciate the love you show by sharing the chick flick, because it shows that you care about her feelings<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>.}}

===Sonichu goes to the [[University of Virginia]] library===
{{quotebox|After hanging at Fashion Square and PVCC, [[Sonichu]], the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], decided to give the University of Virginia a try. He found the campus grounds serene and peaceful with its history, scenery and plenty of grass to rest on. He found himself educated within the libraries’ many books, and made like he was in Paris with the outdoor tables and chairs. And the “Corner” stores had an interesting selection of items from pencil sets to DVDs. He gave the UVA 5/5 Lightning Bolts of approval. Thank you UVA, for a very peaceful place to chill at in the city of Charlottesville<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/sonichu/SchusNews5.htm</ref>.}}

===Prelude to [[Silvana]]===
{{quotebox|Recently, a black [[Rosechu]] came down from outer space in a fashionable space ship. She came down onto our Earth wreaking havoc by abducting the Sonichu Heroes. But in conjunction with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the Rosechus of Earth rescued all of them. In an interview with [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu, he said, “I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. She said that she was a female [[Pikachu]] who was hit by a shining light from the Chaos [[Rainbow]].” The Chaos Rainbow was the rainbow made when Super Sonic collided with the Pikachu, on that fateful day in Station Square years ago. And when interviewed, the black Rosechu, who named herself, Silvana, she stated, “I abducted the Sonichus, because it was very lonesome on the moon, there were NO aliens there at all. And when I communicated with Magi-Chan, I was inspired to build my spacecraft with the remains of the shuttle that put me there in the first place<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews7.htm</ref>.”}}

===Chris's letter on ''[[Sprung]]''===
{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have sent an E-Mail to [[Nintendo Power]]’s “Players’ Pulse” section on January 9, 2005, in response to Nintendo DS’s Sprung game (scanned pages shown above). After receiving my copy of the April, 2005 issue, I was pleasantly surprised to find my E-Mail printed in the “Players’ Pulse” section, with the screen shot (shown to the bottom-right), which I find very appropriate to my current situation. The girl on top says, “YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY BOYFRIEND KICKS YOUR ***!” Although, there are a couple of fixes to mend in their print out: the fear I was referring to should be “[[Noviophobia|NOVIOPHOBIA]],” not “NOIOPHOBIA.” Also, since February 24, 2005, I am now 23-years old, and I am looking for an 18-23-year old, Boyfiend-Free, Datable Girl whom I can love and trust. Also, a little time after using the teachings of Sprung, my fear came back like a boomerang<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>.}}

===Chris's 23rd Birthday===
{{quotebox|Christian Chandler had originally planned to have his party on Thursday, February 24, but then it got snowed out, so it was changed to Saturday, February 26. His party was located at the Fashion Square Shopping Center in [[Charlottesville, Virginia]], by the tree between Abercrombie & Fitch and Pacific Sunwear. A couple of his new-found gal-pals, who all already have Boyfriends, or are otherwise undatable, due to her [[religion]], came by to his party and have partaken in the lovely cake and [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|Mello Yello]] soda pop. They also gave him a very nice present too. His parents were also there, with a present as well, and they told a couple of interesting stories of Christian. Christian, his parents, and his friends, all had a good time, which makes up for Christian’s snowed out 23rd Birthday.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref> }}

===Completion of ''Sonichu'' #0===
{{quotebox|Yes, Sonichu fans, the Premiere Hand-Drawn issue of the Sonichu Comic Book has been completed. The project was started with the Cover drawing (see issue #6 of the News Dash for the previous information) back on November 24, [[2004]], and since then, with random inspiration and too many breaks, the book was completed on March 15, [[2005]]. The Comic includes the first 3 Episodes of our heroic Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu, classic strips drawn before the Comic project and two “Advertisements” for possible future games (at least in Christian W. Chandler’s dreams). CWC said, “Well, it took a long time, all things considered, but I feel that this Comic is my best work yet. I have also recently made a Sub-Episode that, one may say, started right after the Epilogue in Episode 3; it will be placed exclusively on the Sonichu Site for the fans to see. Also, I’m thinking about a Premiere Issue #1 featuring the story of how [[Black Sonichu]] was created, as well as how [[Sonichu]] and [[Sonic]] the Hedgehog “formally” met. 8) I’ll keep you up to date as I am inspired; until then, keep on “Zappin’ to the Extreme!” On the Sonichu Site, there will be two ways to access the Comic: through a link on the front page, or click on the Back Cover image (shown below) in this issue of the News Dash<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>.}}

===Chris at some [[anime]] cons===
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Chris meeting Monica Rial]]

{{quotebox|On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel
Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)<refhttp://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews5.htm</ref> }}
 
{{quotebox|(So to speak) Christian Chandler plans to attend the Anime Mid Atlantic Convention in Richmond, Virginia on all three days (June 17-19, 2005). Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see [[News Dash]] issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more. To learn more about the Anime Mid-Atlantic convention, regrestration, and where in Richmond, Virginia it is located, visit the website at http://www.animemidatlantic.com<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/SchusNews9.htm</ref>. }}

===Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")===
{{quotebox|1. It is FORCED as the ONLY way to enroll into PVCC.
2. There is no alternative to enrolling, because they
took away the original registration forms. 
3. It’s NOT user-friendly. 
4. It was not designed for the computer illiterate. 
5. It’s very unethical. 
6. There is no person-to-person contact. 
7. High risk of lost connection while figuring it out. 
8. Much LONGER waiting time. 
9. It’s too much trouble to deal with. 
10. It had too much advertising to give a darn. }}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://sonichuandrosechu.com/newdash.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash'' Archives]
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//newdash.htm ''Sonichu's News Dash'' Archives Mirror]

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User:Clydec

2010-11-22T19:10:24Z

CrassCrab: /* A LIST OF COOL PEOPLE ON THE CWCKI */

== clyde for admin 2010 ==
if you vote for me, i will do a lot of things [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:20, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

== champ for NOT admin 2010 ==
champ needs a break and i call for his resignation and anonymax should be our new glorious leader -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 14:29, 7 November 2010 (PST)

== this is why wikipedia is just so terrible ==
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Requests_for_mediation/Restoring_Honor_rally

and why we can't afford to have the cwcki run in the same fashion CHAMP

INVISIBLE HAND MY ASS, I'LL SHOW YOU A REAL HAND THAT'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:44, 1 November 2010 (PDT)

== A LIST OF STUPID PEOPLE ON THE CWCKI WHO HAVE ANNOYED ME ==
*BabyNeko
*16BitAlex
*Hieghts503
*Bobsinthekkk
*Ashki
*Pfargtl9000

== A LIST OF COOL PEOPLE ON THE CWCKI ==
*Jump
*Penman28
*Anaconda
*<strike>Anonymax</strike> <- clyde is jealous
*Dethchemist77

== in the future mr. clyde, if you're angry just listen to this ==

{{#ev:youtube|iYjcNR7W-Ow}}

fun fact: I sang this for kareoke in China. (shut up they didn't have a good selection of songs, NO HOTEL CALIFORNIA?!?!) [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 1 October 2010 (PDT)

== a taste of power too sweet ==
for i must let go. as i know i will be corrupted once again

will i dare rise from the ashes.

perhaps, one day.

when we are all dead. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

User:Clydec/Appeal

2010-11-21T03:10:34Z

CrassCrab:

Hi, this is Clyde Cash, writing Champthom's appeal because he is too busy solving mysteries and destroying America.

You should donate money. If you don't, I will destroy you. Click the tugboat in the bottom left.

-- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:51, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

Sure, just wait a minute, little dirty jews. [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:22, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*okay thanks, although i think we might now be stable. if the cwcki goes down again. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 09:24, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

*and how much does the hosting cost, anyways? [[User:Xavier|Xavier]] 09:27, 4 November 2010 (PDT)
:*Including or excluding the hookers and blow that we totally don't buy with donation money? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:10, 20 November 2010 (PST)

==lolno==

[[File:NTWRL01-1-.gif]]

--[[User:ChuChuBean|ChuChuBean]] 19:29, 3 November 2010 (PDT)
:No, ChuChuBean, munch on my taint. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 19:38, 3 November 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:Technical

2010-11-20T20:34:48Z

CrassCrab: /* Default Skin */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of errors, extensions, and technical stuff in general(yes we know about the 500 errors).

== upgraded to 1.16.0 ==

seems like all the obvious stuff is fixed but if there are any missing extensions you need please let me know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 02:39, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==Audio hosting==
Seeing as how some of the audio recordings that we link to on some pages have been removed from their file hosting sites, I was thinking maybe instead of having people download audio we simply host it here CWCiki side. An example of what I am talking about can be found here.[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FDR_speech.ogg] [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 10:14, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
: This could be doable, but needs server configuration. From user's point of view, it could be a simple matter of converting the files to Ogg Vorbis and uploading them here. Currently, the upload page doesn't accept .ogg files, and files are limited to 7 MB. In order to make the in-browser support work, we'd need the [http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Extension:OggHandler OggHandler extension] (which needs ffmpeg and other leet stuff installed on the server as well). --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:12, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

==Apache Module versus CGI==
I've been a long time lurker, but the prevalence of 500 Internal Server Errors has prompted me to register an account. I've lurked and searched the CWCki to see if this has been suggested, but I didn't see anyone bring up this potential solution. So I apologize if I'm offering a redundant suggestion. These error messages seem to suggest to me that the Wiki software is running on CGI. A lot of CGI-related performance issues can be remedied by running PHP via an Apache module, rather than as a CGI binary. The PHP CGI binary is invoked, processes a script, and then shuts down every time a page is requested. Apache modules are continuous, thread safe processes (thread safety can be build dependent). I'm not sure if this hosting provider offers such a configuration option, but it may be worth looking into one that does if this becomes an increasingly prominent issue. FastCGI may be a worthwhile alternative to the current configuration if an Apache module is not an option because of some inherent limitations with Wiki software. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 10:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

== 500 internal server error poll ==
Please note what page you received it on and what your action was (view/edit/etc...). [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:25, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*Main Page/View - It happens sometimes when I try going here on a new window. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 18:14, 5 October 2010 (EST)
:*I almost always get it when saving an edit, sometimes when I log in. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 17:10, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
::*Same here.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 18:08, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::*That's actually been happening to me quite a bit, recently. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23, 5 October 2010 (EST)
::::Extra processing and memory is used while saving a page, and since lack of memory is the likely cause of the error - it's unsurprising that you encounter it when doing the above. Implementing global caching would help alleviate server load, as currently every page request from logged in users is generating server processing. Longer pages have more chance of generating the error - as they are larger, and take up more memory while being processed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:30, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I'll back up the main page and saving edits. I almost never get them otherwise recently. Sometimes I get them if I try to open a page in a tab. The way I browse, I open links I want to read in tabs in tabs to where I can continue reading the page I'm on without having to come back and remember where I was. The tabs will 500 error about 25% of the time. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 14:22, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
* Got one this morning on the Main page. I didn't do anything in particular other than trying to open it. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 12:55, 8 October 2010 (PDT)

== Is the CWCki faster now? ==
Is it? Do you get the 500 internal server error still? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:39, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*It's better. Though it still takes a little while to load longer pages after editing, and I've only experienced one error message while searching for some video. It's a good start, though. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 00:02, 6 October 2010 (EST)
::Yes it's very fast when not doing things like editing/saving pages (as to be expected). The changes made should hopefully mean fewer errors for everyone, and it seems like a much faster article-browsing experience too. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:18, 5 October 2010 (PDT)
*I still get a lot of 500 Internal Server Errors. Not as many as before but it still happens a noticeable amount. It's as fast as it was before; I don't see any difference. [[User:Yossarian|Yossarian]] 13:26, 6 October 2010 (PDT)
*I've only gotten one today. Usually I get at least three.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:35, 9 October 2010 (PDT)
**Okay, today I got bitchslapped by the error when trying to edit that stupid prank call page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 21:24, 15 October 2010 (PDT)
*I only seem to get 500 errors when requesting pages which are not static (i.e. edit pages, recent changes, histories, diffs). The odd 500 error I get when browsing regular articles tends to be on ones that are subject to a lot of recent edits, such as a new video article. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:52, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

== Default Skin ==

I think we should make Vector the default skin for the CWCki, as MonoBook is pretty dated and Vector gives wikis a very clean appearance. A lot of wikis are adopting Vector for this reason. The layout differences are fairly minor, so it really shouldn't give anyone much trouble by making it the default. Users who really dislike it can still change back to MonoBook in their prefs.

* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Main%20Page&useskin=vector Preview Vector on the Main Page]
* [http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title={{FULLPAGENAME}}&useskin=vector Preview Vector on this page]
Your thoughts please! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:11, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Personally I find Monobook more simplistic and nice, as well as more familiar. But we'll see. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 21:03, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is clunky and confusing. I prefer Monobook. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:38, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Monobook is only used by autistics. Vector should be the new default skin.--[[User:Inos|Inos]] 22:09, 19 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector's kinda pretty! --[[User:NerdyNautilus|NerdyNautilus]] 10:36, 19 November, 2010 (PST)
:<s>I could defend either one but they're both shitty white default skins so I honestly don't give a damn. If I had to choose I'd say the one we have now is fine, there's no reason to change it for the sake of changing it. That's how Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts raped my childhood.</s> Fuckfuck fuck that noise. I forgot vector moves the searchbar to the top, and it was confusing as fuck when Wikipedia did it. Vector can eat a dick.--[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 23:45, 19 November 2010 (PST)
::The search box movement is about the only major layout change in Vector. There's a reason why Wikipedia changed the default to Vector - it's nicer. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Vector is made of AIDS. Monobook works just fine. --[[User:Reimu H|Reimu H]] 05:40, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::I don't see how Vector is made of AIDS. Just because something works is not a reason to not consider changing it. While some people clearly prefer MonoBook because it's been the default for so long, I was hoping that people would see that it does give a cleaner appearance to the CWCki and that from the average reader's perspective - it can be more aesthetically pleasing. The design of Vector is more fluid than MonoBook, with less grey and more light colours. The removal of the grey book background is one noticeable change that definitely lightens up articles. With Wikipedia and several other major wikis already using Vector, it should make the CWCki feel more familiar for the average reader. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:::I don't know, it feels like Vector is just using cheap gradient tricks and light blue colors to seem nicer, but really it's actually making everything bigger and less streamlined. I tink the only people who are really going to come to CWCki are nerds of course, and they probably more appreciate the monobook look. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 08:36, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::::Use of gradients is fairly minor, and is done because the skin is not meant to be very heavy. It doesn't really make things bigger - the default size for menu links is indeed larger than MonoBook, but it adds to the clean and clear factor of Vector. The sidebar is about the same width. Vector seems very streamlined to me. I disagree with both the claim that the majority of our visitors are nerds and the claim that they will appreciate monobook more. If they're familiar with Wikipedia, they'd be more likely to appreciate Vector. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:50, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:I say we keep Monobook, the movement of the search bar is the big problem with Vector. At least we're not using Oasis, which is Wikia's new skin. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam & Eggs]] 07:14, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:There are a number of issues I have with Vector. First of all, raising the search bar makes it so that I have to scroll to the top of even small articles to search, which is a minor irritant, but an irritant nonetheless. Secondly, the breaking up of the "Page/Discussion" and "Edit/View History" makes it more difficult to quickly navigate an article (I use a trackpad, so moving across the screen is not really something I like to do). Thirdly, the "Watch" button is hidden in the little menu next to "View History" - and it's the only thing there. That just bothers me, and besides, when I want to watch a page, I'd like to only have to click once. I suppose the only other two changes that I can see that matter are that 1) the bottom bar is now different (to which I am indifferent, as I never use that bar anyway) and 2) the Donation ad appears to be gone, although that might be easily corrected (and again, I am indifferent). I honestly think what we have appears more professional (looks like a portfolio to me) and is more compact (because it is). To me, Vector/Monobook is like Mac/Windows. Protip: Windows is better. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 07:33, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::You know that the little dropdown next to View history should be on-hover and not on-click, so it should still only be one click. The dropdown contains more options if you're an admin. I rarely use the watched pages feature though - so I guess I've never really been worried about where the link is for it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 07:37, 20 November 2010 (PST)
Thing is this isn't a professional & widely-used wiki like Wikipedia. It's a wiki dedicated to doccumenting the trolling of a fat retard from Virginia. Besides, you said we'd be able to change it back to Monobook if the default layout was changed right? Why can't there just be an alternative option to change the layout to Vector for those who want it instead of changing the default layout to Vector? --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 07:59, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:You can manually configure Vector to be your default skin already. The idea of setting Vector to be our default skin would be to make the CWCki nicer to the majority of users who simply come here as readers, who may not have accounts, and who may be unaware of the fact wikis allow you to change your skin. The vast majority of visitors to CWCki are readers, and I think it would be nicer for them to experience CWCki with Vector. I don't think the subject of this wiki makes either skin a better or worse choice. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:50, 20 November 2010 (PST)
::/shrug. Set up a vote on the Main Page then. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 09:04, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Meh. Personally, I hate Vector, but it'll make the wiki look more pro. Anyone as particular as me about it can just change it ourselves. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 09:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)

: I feel that Vector has a "food court" aesthetic that I don't like, plus everybody is used to Monobook already. I support the "keep Monobook, but let people change to vector if they want" motion. Is there a problem with Monobook, or is it just a matter of keeping up with the Joneses? -[[User: GrotchManchowder|GrotchManchowder]] 12:36 PM, 20 November 2010 (EST)
:I support the "vote on the Main Page" idea. If you're worried that staying like this will be worse for the average, account-free Joe, just make it say something like "Hey anon faggot come vote here" or some shit. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 09:53, 20 November 2010 (PST)

: I don't like how Vector has the search bar at the top right. It's a lot more convenient when it's near the navigation and toolbox windows. [[User:Mr3urious|Mr3urious]] 10:11, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:: Then again, I ''am'' getting used to Wikipedia's layout. [[User:Mr3urious|Mr3urious]] 10:13, 20 November 2010 (PST)
:Everything but not what the Wikipedia is using right now. I hate it even more that these huge-ass "personal appeals" from Jimbo begging for my money that I keep clicking on accidentally. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:22, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:I don't really have a preference. Vector has a nice professional feeling to it (but then, none of us are professionals, just bored trolls following the misadventures of an overweight manchild... but that's off-topic), but Monobook has more nostalgic appeal to me. Whatever's best. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 10:58, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:I vote for vector! [[User:PeachyKeen|PeachyKeen]] 11:17, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:Both are equally good. [[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 11:54, 20 November 2010 (PST)

:Vector is awesome, and I use it in every wiki that supports it, mostly because you don't really need to look for the search box (in some MonoBook sites, its location kind of depends on what the admins have been drinking over the past week). But I don't know if I have any preference either way as to whether it should be made default. People who are logged out can't edit the wiki and people who are logged in can change the preference, so it's hard to start weighing the usability and the skins don't really affect the way the articles look like. No harm going either way. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:58, 20 November 2010 (PST)

Vector looks bloated. Like Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 12:34, 20 November 2010 (PST)

August 2010

2010-11-07T03:32:14Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Pfargtl9000 (talk) to last revision by Sonijew is back

'''August [[2010]]''' began rather silently, with Chris hooked on ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to the point where it is seemingly bigger than ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' to him. However, a field agent's account of Chris at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] revealed that Chris's hatred of the [[Hex Bawx]] has risen to a new level when he saw Chris kicking a stall of Xbox 360 games while saying "kick that hex-bawx". Later, [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] (now thinner) were spotted eating at Chick-Fil-A.

For the most part, August 2010 was a very quiet month, with little [[Internet]] activity from Chris; there was almost nothing noteworthy to record. However, towards the end, things would be blown wide open when [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call audio]] is released between [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Alec Benson Leary|a worker at the GAMe PLACe]], revealing a number of things, including that his parents didn't know about his trespassing incident and that they feel that [[Michael Snyder]] is leading a conspiracy against their neighborhood and Chris in particular.

Also, to add to the newfound wave of activity from Chris, on August 27, Chris would break his vow of staying off the Internet in order to post [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|a video]] demanding that his high school reunion happen. Also [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|there was a video]] explaining that his [[PS3]] has been reformatted and the trolls have won. Two days later, to the joy of [[trolls|people]] everywhere, he [[The MovingFoward videos|trashes the bricked PS3]], subjecting it to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|all sorts of destructive acts]] before [[ItIsFinished.MOV|violently finishing it off the next day]] with his [[Son-Chu|car]]. All of this in an attempt to get money from Clyde Cash. After the tragic loss of his beloved PS3, on the final day of August, Chris was sighted in public again, staring creepily at a young woman, awaiting his prize reward. Aside from this, Chris definitely ensured that August 2010 went out with a bang.

==Events of August 2010==
[[File:PreCar2.JPG|thumb|Video uploaded on 29 August 2010, of Chris about to drive over his [[PS3]]]]

*6 August - Chris is seen at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] kicking a stall of [[Hex Bawx]] games, and his ancient parents are seen eating at [[Chick-fil-A]].
*10 August - [[Alec Benson Leary]] [[Matthew Noble call|calls]] [[Bob]] claiming to be a [[GAMe PLACe]] employee. It is revealed that Bob and Barb did ''not'' know of Chris's June 6 incident at the GAMe PLACe and that Bob thinks there's a [[100 2178 |major conspiracy]] against Chris.
*13 August - The [[Wikipedia#August 2010|second recorded attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is made.
*15 August - The [[Matthew Noble call]] is released.
*27 August - Chris makes [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|a new video]] about organizing the high school reunion, and his two cents about [[Trolls|cyberbullying]]. He later uploads [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|a video]] where he admits to inadvertently deleting all content on his [[PS3]]'s hard drive and, in a way, admits defeat to the trolls. This video is removed later the same day.
*28 August - First of the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]] is sent.
*29 August - A leaked [[The MovingFoward videos|video compilation]] of Chris destroying his PS3 is released.
*30 August - [[ItIsFinished.MOV|Another video is leaked]], in which Chris destroys the remnants of his PS3 with his car.
*31 August - A new video reveals that Chris has been spotted at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], attempting to claim a reward for destroying his PS3.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

User talk:Sonijew is back

2010-10-24T16:36:40Z

CrassCrab: /* why are you uploading all this shit */

==New==
Ok, I'm new to CWCki, so give me a break. So I'm a "Newfag", I was just following everyone else's footsteps. Please just give me a link for clear rules for CWCki, or sum them up. Thanks. :D. --[[User:DukeNukem2020|DukeNukem2020]] 16:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Well if thats the case, Ill help as much as I can. Im BabyNeko...sorry about the whole faggot thing earlier. My computer was still logged on to cwcki and my sis replied to some shit she shouldnt have...Im REALLY sorry T_T

It's ok BabyNeko, I was just joining the CWC bandwagon. I guess this is much more clean than ED, and I suppose it's taboo to talk bad about Chris chan. lol, just kidding.

Alright. :) Im glad we have that out of the way [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

===You, you! Every damn last one of you! ===
Go back to your own talk pages, YOU DORKS. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:33, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==Nice Work==
Man, you're kicking ass! Keep up the good edits! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 22:34, 23 January 2010 (UTC)
==Gentlemen==
NOW I'M HERE TO FUCK US. Naw, just kidding. YOU DID WELL! [[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 22:22, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

== Hey buddy ==

Why did you revert the SEGA article to the redirect to Sonic the Hedgehog? It's cool if you don't agree with SEGA having it's own page, but in that case, could you put down arguments on the [[CWCki:Requested Pages]] article, instead of just reverting my edits? I know there wasn't much on the page yet, but I was just starting it off and hoping some people with more knowlege on vidya games would take over. Anyway, my opinion is that having SEGA redirecting to Sonic is a bit weak. Looking forward to hearing your arguments. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 23:55, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

:[[Microsoft]]'s redirecting to Xbox. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:29, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
:That's not really an argument. I think the Microsoft redirect could stay that way, because it plays a far smaller role in Chris's life. Nintendo and Sega are, however, pretty big deals for Chris and they warrant a page of their own. Anyway, discussion goes onto the Requested Pages article, not here, k? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:44, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

No, Chris even did not call for Sega to help him in his struggle against Liquid - but he called for Microsoft (and Nintendo and Sony). It's just Sonic, really. Owning Dremacast means nothing. better make an article for [[God of War]]. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 22:00, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

==Sorry to bother you==
Hey sonijew, i need some help.i'm making the guide to wiki editing and i need to know how do you do redirects. thank you for your time.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:You kidding me? Okay, it's the "#R" icon above. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:thank you very much. sorry.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

== I'm taking a cwc break ==

I'be be back when I return. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:35, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

==fan videos==

They don't belong in the middle of an article. Especially when they don't add anything and merely detract from the format. If you'd like, feel free to create a 'fan videos' (or something similar) section with the appropriate infobox.

Kindly fuck off, too. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:24, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

:Show me a rule for this. Also, it stays in [[autism]] for well over a year for example. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:27, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

:: It's been covered in the community portal, only things with actual "historical" value, like Re:Autism, are exempt. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:30, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

so i'll make it a rule right here. don't do it. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 15:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== JenkinJinkies ==

I think we can expect new and promising reports from this young man in the future.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:04, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

== Hexbox ==

I thought it was assumed that he probably did own an Xbox at one point - from his eBay sales history? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:52, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
:Not 360. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 12:53, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
::My oversight then -.- --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:01, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

== Re:Hey, idiot ==

''edits to merge back in...'' means I'M WORKING ON getting your edits put back in. I was plagued with 500 errors and the fucker just wouldn't save. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:43, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:Fine, don't let me put your edits back in. Like fuck am I gonna edit all 41 sections individually. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:49, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== why are you uploading all this shit ==
stop. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:27, 24 October 2010 (PDT)
:What he said. Do you REALLY want more 500 errors? There's a reason the fan portal was deleted. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 07:24, 24 October 2010 (PDT)
:Yeah I'd prefer if you didn't upload a ton of fan art. This is a wiki dedicated to Chris, not his fans. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 09:36, 24 October 2010 (PDT)

United States of America

2010-10-22T19:40:06Z

CrassCrab: Maybe for morons.

{{Quote|Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!|Chris, [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|forgetting the national anthem]].}}

[[File:SonichuFlag.png|thumb|Christian's primary thoughts on the U.S....]]

[[Chris]] is a citizen of the '''United States of America''', a federal democratic republic in the western hemisphere. The nation is considered the only remaining [[China|superpower]] since the end of the cold war, and is a leading economic, political, and cultural force in the world.

Chris's stance on the nation he lives in is inconsistent at best. While he claims to be a good citizen who loves and respects his country, his [[Twin Falling Towers|actions]] are often [[Chris and Hypocrisy|very obviously]] contrary to these claims.

==Politics==

[[File:Cwcflag1.png|thumb|...Christian's ''other'' thoughts on the U.S.]]

At a glance, Chris's sense of politics seem very inconsistent; on some issues, he takes a very conservative stance, on others a very liberal one. While many people have an independent or bipartisan opinion, one has to realize the true nature of Chris's decision-making: that Chris doesn't favor what's good for America, but rather what's good for Chris (and believes the [[Chris and his ego| two ends are one and the same]]). As such, he's against gay marriage because he hates da [[homos]] and supported [[Barack Obama]] because he saw himself in him, before he accused him of [[Chris and race|selling out the country to brown-skinned people]].{{cite}}

Soon after, he clarified that he [[Mailbag 20#Chris on abortion|supports abortion]], undoubtedly to show his appreciation for [[Women's Rights]]. Another recent political insight is the vague statement [[Mailbag 4|'I agree with gun control']], despite Chris's numerous [[death threats]] and [[Sonichu Special 4| vigilante plans]] that would require a firearm.

Chris proclaims himself to be a "moderate". While typically this simply means not having extreme or overly partisan political beliefs, he takes this as a general-purpose response to all questions about politics, including ones that have no defined middle path. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the [[Mailbags]], where Chris will often dodge giving his opinion on issues ''every'' voter should have an opinion on, simply because ''he has no opinion.''

Chris doesn't react well in situations where he absolutely has to make a choice ([[Julie Reveals Herself|Julie or PSN? A question for the ages!]]), and seems easily persuaded on matters that he doesn't really have a stake on. As a result, he often comes across as a weathervane, just repeating whatever opinion has most recently lodged itself in his head. His changing opinion about Obama is a good example of this, as he has echoed the sentiments from his father, a documentary, and then from his father again, adopting a positive and negative stance based on what he hears; he never really stops to make a summary and decide what points really matter to ''him''.

==Understanding of government==

Chris's grasp of how the government works, much like Chris's grasp on [[reality]] as a whole, is shaky at best. One of the most telling examples of this is his ignorant stance on taxation and [[Monthly tugboat|welfare]]. Because Chris is jobless, he pays no taxes and presumably files no tax returns. However, he still thinks of himself as a contributing member of society, because he pays ''sales taxes'' on the massive amount of crap he buys.

{{Quote|My spending that money ends up going to others who get such welfare and all as well.... I am sharing the wealth with others who are on that tugboat as well.|Chris, [[Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever|explaining why he deserves free money]].}}

It's highly unlikely that Chris understands the massive discrepancy between the amount the government pays him and the amount he gives back via sales tax. Chris also fails to understand that sales taxes are collected by state and local governments, while his welfare check comes from the federal government.

Chris also seems to have difficulty understanding what the true purpose of government actually is. The U.S. government's duty is to follow the will of the majority while respecting the rights of the minority, to protect its citizens from danger, and to ensure the continued prosperity of the nation. Chris, however, would like it to become a force for social engineering that would make the most rabid totalitarian shudder. When asked hypothetical questions about what he would do if he were running things, he proposes bizarre sweeping laws that single out [[Homos|certain minorities]] and force individuals into relationships whether they want to be in one or not.

{{Quote|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples, leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All gays would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.|Chris [[Common Questions#28 December 2009|on effective leadership]].}}

The fact that this would not help the country at all, and in fact could possibly destroy society as we know it, does not factor into Chris's thinking. By his logic, since he wants a girlfriend, ''everybody'' must want a girlfriend, and if everybody wants a girlfriend, the government needs to make it happen.

Over the years, Chris has proposed a large number of laws, even sending letters to President [[Barack Obama]] demanding legislation against [[trolls]] and [[homos]]. This is completely useless for two reasons: one, the President of the United States has much more pressing concerns than making an insane manchild in Ruckersville, VA, happy, and two, the US President ''can't make laws''. (Separation of powers and checks and balances in government are concepts Chris has no time for — [[CWCville]], after all, is a hereditary dictatorship.)

Oddly, the closest analog for how Chris views his government is how Chris views his [[religion]]. He treats both the US government and God as things that can be completely ignored unless he has a personal problem, at which point they should immediately step in and help. He believes that both have a deeply vested interest in himself, often at the expense of everybody else. God should damn [[Clyde Cash]], and the FBI should arrest him. It doesn't matter that Clyde hasn't done anything the FBI would be terribly interested in; Chris is mad at him, and that's all that matters.

== Chris on patriotism ==

As established, Chris has a very [[naïve]] view of American politics, and how the federal government operates. Despite these setbacks, Chris has developed a unique brand of patriotism his brings up quite often, usually either in defense of his character or dehumanization of his [[Trolls|enemies]]. As a result, these stabs at jingoism often feel forced or out of place. Chris has utilized this tactic in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], with the iconic "Clarksville Address":

{{quote|Yes, sir, my loving, caring [[Sweetheart]] and I have come to discuss the web page in question. We humbly request that it would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams and ideas of the majority of these great, humble United States of America along with him.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 8|delivering the Clarksville Address]]}}

[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|Chris bastardizing the American flag with his favorite shirt]]

Here, we can see the prime factor in Chris's logic. Namely, that [[Song of Christian| his problems are analogous with the problems of every American]]. Therefore, if [[ED]] satirizes him, they insult all US citizens. This would become something of a recurring theme, with a later [[Do Not Dis C Ville|video]] claiming that any attack on Chris or [[CWCville|his fictional utopia]] was equivalent to mocking any 'C-ville' in America. On a shallower level, it's an obvious ploy for sympathy, a facade of reasonable nationalism that aims to make him the 'good guy', and by extension, [[Jason]] the 'bad guy'. Thus, patriotic symbolism is thrown in, without really even considering whether or not it makes sense in context. Chris is patriotic simply because he believes that's what will win him [[Scale of Respect|respect]] and reprieve.

His attempts to prove his patriotism are undermined, however, by his [[Twin Falling Towers|tendency to mock national tragedies]] and [[Chris and music|complete inability to sing even the most well-known patriotic songs.]] If anything, Chris's attempts to prove himself a "true American" end up having the ''opposite'' effect.

However, his bumbling enthusiasm isn't reserved for the USA alone. Like many Americans, Chris has developed a fake lineage of European ancestry, starting from [[Anne Boleyn]], a Queen of England who was executed in 1536. This was almost instantly proven false when her ultimate descendant Queen Elizabeth I, who died in 1603 childless. Then Chris tried in vain to co-opt British, Scottish, and Irish national sentiment in his [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|kilt-clad tirade against Surfshack Tito]] as a means of intimidation. Also, while not a standard country per se, he also evoked his relation to the Cherokee Nation in his infamous [[War Paint Video|armed declaration of war against the trolls]]. Finally, Chris attempts to use the fact that February 24 is Mexico's Flag Day to justify [[Christian Love Day|turning his own birthday into a holiday]], an ''American'' holiday. Note that all of these cases, Chris's total ignorance of other nations means he [[Fail|fails]] spectacularly at representing them and appearing patriotic.
{{-}}

==Chris for President?==

In a [[A Public Announcement for Congress|more recent video]], Chris outlined his actions for what he would do if elected president. He declared he would [[Chris and money|cut taxes in half, build "soup hotels", give senior citizens increased funds for medications and special services]], restrict guns to law enforcement personnel only, [[homos|allow gay marriage]], and [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|form a special police force that focus's entirely on capturing internet trolls.]]

Aside from his failure to deliver a good speech, this video also showcases his complete and utter ignorance of how government and taxes work. [[Mailbag 18|Building luxury hotels for the homeless]] and increasing social security for [[Bob|senior citizens]] would cost a fortune to do, yet he also proposes cutting taxes in half, thus also reducing the amount of money the government can spend in half. Given that Chris probably has [[Honor Roll|no knowledge of economics]], he probably just assumes that money can be printed endlessly without fear of inflation (Of course, that's assuming he put any thought at all into his policies).

Chris's restrictions of guns to professionals only is a blatant violation of the 2nd amendment, which allows American citizens to own a gun for protection. While their are certain restrictions on who can own a gun and what type, a flat out ban on weapons for everyone would no doubt be found unconstitutional. Then again, Chris isn't exactly big on [[Homos|respecting]] [[alec benson leary|the]] [[Megan|rights]] [[Mailbag 31|of]] [[Niggos|others.]]

His departure from his previous stance on gay marriage is surprising ,but then again, he was influenced by a [[Jackie|certain someone]] when he made the video. Despite his decree of equal rights, he does finish up his point by imploring gays to not [[Sex_tape|"keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody"]], while normal straight couples can flaunt their heterosexuality to their heart's delight.

While taxes, government spending, gay marriage and gun control are all big issues, Chris finish's up his video by proposing his most important change: the establishment of a special "trollbusters" unit of [[Chris and the law|law enforcement]], apparently dedicated to finding trolls who make fun of people online, and incarcerating them. While a cyber crime's unit already exists for the FBI, they spend their time pursuing real criminals like pedophiles and scam artists, not people who make fun of [[Chris|retarded inbred cry-babies]].

The fact that Chris has complained to law enforcement previously, and they have not done anything about it, leads Chris to believe that it must not exist, [[ego|otherwise they would be spending all their resources tracking down the people who make fun of him]]. The fact that Chris is willing to suspend constitutional rights, and spend countless millions on to incarcerate people that make fun of him, is proof that Chris isn't neither a republican, democrat or moderate. He's more of a fascist.

TLDR, Chris's ideal America is an America where he is in charge, the bulk of the Bill of Rights only applies when he feels like it should, and his birthday is a national holiday. In other words, his ideal America is North Korea.

==See also==
*[[American Rabbit]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

A Workout

2010-10-20T04:06:35Z

CrassCrab: Not a fan of demotivation pictures in general and even less so of ones that incorporate memes/don't make sense.

'''A Workout''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 19 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris appears to have stuffed his [[muscle bra]] again and performs [[Chris_and_health#Exercise|a workout routine]] to ''Ass 'n' Titties'' by [[Wikipedia:DJ Assault|DJ Assault]], specifically a [[YouTube]] video which includes dancing by various ''World of Warcraft'' characters.

With the aid of readily available fitness calculators, top men estimate Chris burned roughly 32 calories. Approximately one tenth of a serving of [[My Coke Rewards|cola]]. Further perspective can be gained by comparing how long it takes other activities to burn 32 calories: [[Chris_and_art|Drawing]] (7 minutes), [[PS3|Playing video games]] (11 minutes), [[Mass Debating]] (12 minutes), [[Chris_and_television|Lying motionlessly while watching TV]] (15 minutes) and [[Chris_and_religion|Kneeling while praying]] (15 minutes).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Workout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_2PMKRwgAEw}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Unknown White T, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
'''''0:00-0:10''' Video starts with Chris putting on Ass 'n' Titties by DJ Assault. Chris faces the camera with his stuffed [[Muscle_bra|muscle bra]] and starts [[Fail|exercising]] by punching spastically in time to the beats. ''

'''''0:11-0:24''' He then begins doing his version of jumping jacks.''

'''''0:25-0:59''' Chris starts swaying his hips from side to side before doing several [[CWC_Fighter|Chun Li kicks]]. He noticeably begins to slow down here but continues on and adds spastic punches as well.''

'''''1:00-1:27''' He starts twisting side to side with stuffed muscle bra in full view. [[Slow_in_the_minds|Chris loses the beat]] of the track at this point.''

'''''1:28-1:54''' Next up he starts stretching his arms to the ground and back up. Though he speeds up again for a few seconds, he goes back to slow relatively quickly.''

'''''1:55-2:11''' Chris starts stretching his arms down each arm individually.''

'''''2:12-2:19''' Here he stretches out his back with his [[Obesity|fat autistic gut]] on display.''

'''''2:20-2:43''' Next he begins twisting side to side again momentarily before doing jumping jacks again with poor posture.''

'''''2:44-3:05''' Begins punching again, taking a brief look at his screen. Starts punching side to side.''

'''''3:06-3:23''' Chris twists side to side again, this time with his arms open and being twice as slow as the rhythm.''

'''''3:24-3:29''' Punches upwards and then back forwards. Music stops. Chris faces the camera and gropes his own man tits.''

Be her boobies!

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 12 Second Power Workout With Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EJNtY52H2Oc}}
| Maker = ChristopherCooler
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type =
}}

==See also==
*[[11042009 51 50‎|51 50]]
*[[30 Push-Ups]]
*[[Power]]
*[[I AM STRONG]]

==External link==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ5-iZYHBEc The video in the background]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T16:38:21Z

CrassCrab:

I'll have a go at transcribing this nonsense... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:09, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

That "You take the Good, you take the bad" crap is from Family Guy. I'm linking it to the Family Guy page. --[[User:Colonelslime|Colonelslime]] 23:22, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

It's interesting how he switches scale through the talk. Not that anyone who pays attention to Chris would expect coherent thought. He starts off with "Presidential Candidate" and how he can improve the nation. He then scales down to a city level with the police departments before sharing his policies on interplanetary invasion before finally explaining how he'll police the internet, essentially the communication network of the world at large. In fine Chris fashion, he is candidate for Supreme Leader.[[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 06:06, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

==Notice==

2.5% is half of 5%. Taxes aren't being cut by "a small fraction", they're being slashed in twain. In economic terms, that's effectively halving the government's income (I know they get money from other sources, but 5% of GDP is their largest contributor), which would destroy, among other things, the military, education, and scientific research in the US. Not a small thing at all. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 03:52, 19 October 2010 (PDT)
*Fuck, another victim of bad vision. I reread it and thought I got it right. Still, I think the point can be driven home more. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 03:54, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

== There's only one reason why Chris made this video ==

Obama has frozen Social Security checks until 2012, and many politicians are campaigning to cut SSA funding instead of raising taxes. There are far too many news links to sift through, so you can [http://news.google.com/news/i?pz=1&cf=all&ned=us&hl=en&q=Social+Security sift through them yourself]. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 09:33, 19 October 2010 (PDT)
*lol no. Chris is about as aware of how SS works as a chimp knows why food keeps being left in his cage at the zoo in the morning. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 09:38, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T16:38:05Z

CrassCrab: /* There's only one reason why Chris made this video */

I'll have a go at transcribing this nonsense... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 22:09, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

That "You take the Good, you take the bad" crap is from Family Guy. I'm linking it to the Family Guy page. --[[User:Colonelslime|Colonelslime]] 23:22, 18 October 2010 (PDT)

It's interesting how he switches scale through the talk. Not that anyone who pays attention to Chris would expect coherent thought. He starts off with "Presidential Candidate" and how he can improve the nation. He then scales down to a city level with the police departments before sharing his policies on interplanetary invasion before finally explaining how he'll police the internet, essentially the communication network of the world at large. In fine Chris fashion, he is candidate for Supreme Leader.[[User:Mupkids|Mupkids]] 06:06, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

==Notice==

2.5% is half of 5%. Taxes aren't being cut by "a small fraction", they're being slashed in twain. In economic terms, that's effectively halving the government's income (I know they get money from other sources, but 5% of GDP is their largest contributor), which would destroy, among other things, the military, education, and scientific research in the US. Not a small thing at all. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 03:52, 19 October 2010 (PDT)
*Fuck, another victim of bad vision. I reread it and thought I got it right. Still, I think the point can be driven home more. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 03:54, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

== There's only one reason why Chris made this video ==

Obama has frozen Social Security checks until 2012, and many politicians are campaigning to cut SSA funding instead of raising taxes. There are far too many news links to sift through, so you can [http://news.google.com/news/i?pz=1&cf=all&ned=us&hl=en&q=Social+Security sift through them yourself]. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 09:33, 19 October 2010 (PDT)
lol no. Chris is about as aware of how SS works as a chimp knows why food keeps being left in his cage at the zoo in the morning. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 09:38, 19 October 2010 (PDT)

100 2277

2010-10-12T21:16:18Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by EricLayla (talk) to last revision by Chamomile

[[File:FredFlintstone.jpg|thumb|Fred's reaction to this.]]

'''100 2277''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 12 [[October 2010]] in which he dresses as Fred Flintstone, then cosplays as Homer Simpson cosplaying as Fred.

Right away, we're bombarded with a horrible, inaccurate, badly-paced impersonation as Chris attempts a deep, manly voice to [[Chris and Music#Singing|sing]] the theme to ''The Flintstones''- and fails right away by starting with ''[[The Simpsons]]'' [[parody]] version. The resulting voice is more along the lines of a frog who sings only in flats. To this, his latest construction paper costume is a even simpler version of Fred's one-piece toga/loincloth outfit: a single sheet of the paper, with dots scribbled on it.

It may be worth noting that Chris mumbles his way through the line "We'll have a [[Homos|gay]] old time," with "gay" meaning "happy" in this context. It is notable because Chris doesn't show any of his usual homophobia to this line by trying to change the lyrics. Either he recognizes the non-sexual meaning of "gay", or the theme song is so ingrained into his memory, that he doesn't realize what he's singing. Unfortunately, in a bit of inconvenient timing surpassed only by the Zapruder film, at this key moment, Chris's costume begins to fall apart, making it difficult to discern whether he mumbled the line in aversion to anything even remotely gay, or in distraction of repairing his costume.

After that, and the obligatory [[Random-access humor|stolen quote]], he then sings (also badly) ''The Simpsons'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmP_t4_lpzo parody of the song], complete with a "mask" of Homer's face. It should be noted that this mask has square eyes, similar to that of his pre-[[Megan]], pre-[[anime]]-style drawings and [[comics]], but merely ends up bearing a closer resemblance to "The Smiley Face", of 70's pop-culture fame. This is topped off with an additional red piece, shaped to make a yelling mouth.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2277
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vs47eq7TTys}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}},{{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} The Racing Stripe
| previous = [[ECV 00002]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===

[[File:ChrisFlintstone.png|thumb|300px|Possible descendant of Fred Flintstone?]]

[[File:Thecwcstonesportrait01.jpg|thumb|An artist's depiction of what Chris hopes this video will gain him.]]

Yabba, dabba, ''doo!''

[''Chris shows a toy of the Flintstones' stone-age car, and plays with it throughout the video, as if it was being driven through the air'']

Sim-- Flint-stones, meeet the Flint-stones, they're the modern [[Bob|stone-age]] famileee!
From the, town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of hisss-store-eee!

Let's ride, with the family down the street,
Through the, courtesy of Fred's two feet! [''Chris's fingers mime a waking action in front of the toy'']

[''Short pause'']

When you're, with the Flintstones,
Have a yabba-dabba-doo-time,
Dabba [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|doo]]-time, [''Chris's "costume" begins to fall, distracting him from singing'']
[''Mumbled''], We'll have a [[gay]] old time!

[''Mercifully drops the accent'']

And now for something... ''suh-lightly'' different!

[''Chris adopts a new accent, covering his face with a crude smiley face mask'']
Yabba, dabba''aahh'', doo!

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in hiss-store-eee!
From the, town of Springfield;
[[Random-access humor|He's about to hit a chesnut tree]]!

[''Chris pulls out an accessory to the yellow mask: an accompanying mouth to:'']
''YAAAAAAAAAH!''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV_00002]]|nextlink=''Current''}}

{{Template:Cosplay videos}}
{{Template:Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Homos

2010-10-12T19:36:28Z

CrassCrab: /* Five possibilities */

==To do==
*All of Chris's quotes asserting his heterosexuality
*Picture of Chris in his mom's underwear
*His comments against homos

==Expand to include Lesbians?==
This could be the topic of a separate article, but how would you people feel about including lesbians into this one? It's an interesting evolution of Chris's ideas. Originally, Chris was perfectly fine with lesbians, as he'd only have male homosexuals jailed and programmed whiled lesbians would be safe. Obviously, the reason why Chris likes lesbians is because they don't make him question his sexuality. I forget what exactly prompted it but I think maybe it was all the comments from trolls about how he's a hypocrite that he decided to start hating lesbians as well, as first seen in the "Boyfriend" music video.

I think this would be a good topic that should be discussed somewhere here on the CWCki, but should we include it into the homos article or should we delve into it in a separate article? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:45, 26 November 2009 (CET)
* Its more believable that he was rejected by a woman claiming truthfully or not that she was a lesbian and he suddenly realized that lesbian does not equal bisexual lesbian equal lesbian. [[User:Communist|Communist]]

==Sex Toys thing==

Good so far, but I edited the thing about the anal beads. I've actually ordered from AdamAndEve.com before and they generally give you a choice of a toy or a DVD. Furthermore, the toy is usually based on what you order - order a fake pussy or something like that, and you'll get something like a fake cocksucker. Order something phallic and you'll get something phallic as a free gift (i.e. order a dildo, you'll get anal beads). It's been a while since I last ordered form them (pro tip: Amazon is actually cheaper) but I do believe you can opt out. I do believe that one of Chris's dildo (not his vibrator) he actually BOUGHT because (and I'm paraphrasing his own word) it was only like $1.99 or something like that. The moar you know. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:36, 14 March 2009 (CET)

: Whoa whoa whoa, back up. Chris has a dildo AND a vibrtator? --[[User:MachPunch|MachPunch]] 19:39, 15 March 2009 (CET)
: Hes the kind of retard to not realize they do the same thing when ones turned off. [[User:Communist|Communist]]

==Asexuality==

Me and a friend (who both enjoy this wiki very much) were talking about CWC recently, and we personally think he's asexual, but trying to put up a heterosexual facade because Grown Ups Have Sex; so I added a little bit about that possibility. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 21:21, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

* The asexuality section is great. I really believe Chris is obsessed with getting laid not out of any perversion or actual sexual desire, but because it's what he believes adulthood is about. And to be honest, sexuality is a big part of being an adult, unfortunately Chris is ignoring things like interpersonal relationships, financial responsibility, work, every single other thing. tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.

* Alright, it seems that this article is the wrong page for the asexuality bit and that the Chris and Sex page would be a better fit for it, so I'm going to put it over there, then. [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 08:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

*"''tl;dr: Chris isn't a pervert or homophobe, he's just retarded.''" Haha, what? Because drawing furfag porn,drinking his [[navy]],the infamous"''I don't know child, what with the dumb laws.''"quote regarding the fact an apparently [[Zapina|14 year old character]] couldn't be in a pornographic film, the also infamous "''I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least. you know, like Lassie.''"quote and other things aren't signs of serious perversion at all? tl;dr being a furfag,drinking his semen,showing signs of pedophilia, and possibly accepting bestiality remove any weight the "''he's just retarded''" argument has. Even if the semen drinking, and bestiality answer could be passed off as doing things to get [[china]], it would remain that Chris became a furfag and [[pedofork]] on his own will. Oh,and I'd like to see any proof he really isn't a homophobe seeing as he fits the dictionary definition to a T.--[[User:Ror|Ror]] 05:58, 27 September 2009 (CEST)

*I consider several things, now that's it brought up. From the Chris and Sex page "then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form". Also the fact that he seems to have little care for actual humans, but feel care for his hedgehogs and his dead dog. and the bestiality bits. I think Chris is Asexual to humans, or things he sees as human. He isn't a furfag, because he isn't a furry, and he ain't a furry because he's said "screw that" to anthropomorphized animals, and seems to just like (and "like") non-human animals (because like his dog, his sonichus and such like him for how he is, and don't have stupid human ideas like bathing)[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:21, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

== Revelation? ==

I happened to glance at CWCikipedia's article on[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education Dating Education], and I noticed something.

"It is a fact that individuals who were unable to find their opposite-gender Sweetheart or crushes and get lucky before adulthood are likely tempted to turn homo"

Apparently not getting Hanky Panky during teenaged years leads to temptations of being a homo. CWC Science Proven Fact! Anyway, would this be notable enough to put in either this article or Chris and sex, or just forget about it?--[[User:WEsKar|WEsKar]] 20:27, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

: I slipped it into the "Fear of..." section already, but it bears further expansion. This is quite the psycho-sexual revelation on Chris's part. [[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 20:51, 6 August 2009 (CEST)

== "Christopher" (I guess?) faved [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1251873110513.jpg this] ==

Christopher also does [http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/img/1252025256932.jpg a lot] of other shit like that right now. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 18:32, 4 September 2009 (CEST)

==Mother's Underwear==
Does anyone know when and why he posted that picture?[[User:Skwrr|Skwrr]] 21:52, 13 October 2009 (CEST)

The picture of Chris in his mom's underwear is an older picture from '07-'08. Why he put it on and uploaded it? 1. You'll have to see the [[sports bra]] article. 2. What can we expect from someone who bows like a girl, penetrates like a girl, and collects my little ponies? 3. A troll made him do it.

--[[User:Scarletdragon|Scarletdragon]] 04:07, 15 October 2009

*It's from September 2008. Lordsillynipples posed as Blanca and "Blanca" told Chris he would leave him if he didn't wear his mother's underwear, hence why he's not wearing a shit eating grin. I swore there was an article on just those pictures but I forget what it was called. I swore that this was something Chris did before on his own (try on his mother's underwear) but apparently, I was mistaken. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:39, 15 October 2009 (CEST)

==Home Gene==
I was reading mailbag on the CWCipedia, and one 'fan' posed a question that Chris gave a rather interesting answer to. They asked how Chris was going to rehabilitate the homos after the Dating ED episode in the comic, and Chris explained how he ends up out of the time void a year after the present where scientists have isolated the genes for homo and heterosexuality. He offers his straight blood in order to create a vaccine for gayness, and will take it back to his time period. --[[User:Rye|Rye]] 6:18, 19 November 2009
** If he knew anything about how vaccines are made he would realize that you cant cure genes. that and we know what the gay gene is its the same gene that causes extreme fertility among women.

=="Chris on his alleged homosexuality" needs updating==
I am 99% positive Chris has said something denying he's a homosexual since the most recent quote on the list. We need to update it with other ones (make sure they're some variant of the existing ones, that is Chris denying he's gay and that he's STRAIGHT). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:18, 30 November 2009 (CET)

==Heather Iglesias==
"Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu (that is, the fictional actors who portray them, and not the doubly-fictional characters themselves, if you want to add another layer of crazy to the parfait of suck that is the Sonichu series) are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]]..."

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean; I don't remember Chris ever saying that Sonichu and Rosechu are actors. If I'm wrong, feel free to add back with a source. --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 03:41, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris hates lesbians now ==

Chris dislikes the lesbians just like the homos. He said this answering a question in a recent Mailbag. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 12:02, 21 December 2009 (CET)

Srsly guys. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:15, 26 December 2009 (CET)

Also is there any "update needed" tag on CWCki? --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:16, 26 December 2009 (CET)

...also I guess I'm starting to take all this too seriously. --[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 10:17, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*I'm gonna make a separate article about lesbians sometime soon, titled [[Dykes Dykes China|Dykes]], since lesbians and male homosexuals don't mean exactly the same to Chris. --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 10:33, 26 December 2009 (CET)
*An update needed tag would be handy, good thinking Sonijew. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:10, 31 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris needs to realize this. ==

Lets just say Chris finally learns to accept himself for who he is (Gay, bisexual at LEAST), ALOT of trolls would stop, because most, if not all of the trolls arent homophobic. Chris really brought this upon himself, its a classic example of a "Victim Complex". ITs kinda like how CHRIS is the one who posted the picture of sonichu on 4chan, yet he blames the site.
-[[User:CJB8895|Cody]] 12:08 AM
:I have never seen proof that Chris himself posted the picture of Sonichu on 4chan. [[User:RobGoblin|RobGoblin]] 03:49, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:A better comparison would be how he uploaded [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] to [[ED]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 04:21, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

== TARD LOGIC ==

Doesn't Chris realize that turning all the homos straight would decrease his risk of finding a boyfriend-free girl?
I mean if he truly wanted to have a BFG he would want all jerks to be homos--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:20, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:I think that's been pointed out to him before in the Mailbag and he essentially blew that person off. Chris might be aware of this but he just doesn't seem to care (like so many other things). --[[User:GotAFish|GotAFish]] 08:54, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

==Phobia==
I'd just like to point out that phobia isn't a fear of X, it's an irrational fear of X. So is it okay to change the line "he is literally afraid of homosexuality..." into "he is literally , and irrationally, afraid of homosexuality..." or would this just be too silly/too much?[[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 05:10, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

== Five possibilities ==

Who the fuck's bright idea was that? God damn, I let people do their own thing and I find people add shit like that. Why the hell is this there, someone tell me? You've enumerated the possibilities for ANYONE - it's pointless to point out that someone is either A or not A, if someone's A, of course he's not going to be not A. God damn.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:49, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
*In other words, this section either needs to be eliminated or possibilities narrowed down to possibilities grounded on evidence and not just every possible sexuality Chris could be in actuality.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:50, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
:INVISIBLE HAND, CHAMPTHOM! INVISIBLE HAND! [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 12:36, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:BlueSpike Skype Logs 8

2010-10-12T02:42:37Z

CrassCrab: /* uhhhhh */

== uhhhhh ==
uhhhhhhhhhh, huh yeah. for all i've done, i really am not sure of what happened during julie. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:40, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
*Blue happened. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:42, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:BlueSpike Skype Logs 7

2010-10-12T02:39:17Z

CrassCrab: /* before anyone asks */

lol format [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]]
== before anyone asks==
yes chris gave up on panda in like 5 minutes for cyber sex. bob walks in took 2-3 attempts. and uh. yeah. i'm actually kind of surprised about how "well-adjusted" bluespike is now. for the record, i believe it was blue's idea to fuck up chris during the sex audios. bob walks in was helped a lot by brian bash at the time as well who kept harassing bob/barb. best idea ever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:37, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
*Define "well adjusted". Last time I talked to him he wouldn't shut up about all the "[[Clawdorf]]s" that he sees. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:38, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:BlueSpike Skype Logs 7

2010-10-12T02:38:38Z

CrassCrab: /* before anyone asks */

lol format [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]]
== before anyone asks==
yes chris gave up on panda in like 5 minutes for cyber sex. bob walks in took 2-3 attempts. and uh. yeah. i'm actually kind of surprised about how "well-adjusted" bluespike is now. for the record, i believe it was blue's idea to fuck up chris during the sex audios. bob walks in was helped a lot by brian bash at the time as well who kept harassing bob/barb. best idea ever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:37, 11 October 2010 (PDT)
*Define "well adjusted". Last time I talked to him he wouldn't shut up about all the "Clawdorfs" that he sees. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:38, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:BlueSpike Skype Logs 7

2010-10-12T02:35:45Z

CrassCrab: Created page with "lol format ~~~"

lol format [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]]

A Hike

2010-10-10T16:33:35Z

CrassCrab: /* Notes */

[[File:monticello.jpeg|thumb|The "village" of Monticello]]

'''A Hike''' is a rare video that takes place both during the day and outdoors. The video is broken up into small chunks with [[Chris]] alternating between hiking and filming, [[Chris and health|presumably the exertion from walking up a slight grade requires all the energy he can muster]].

In what can be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]], he is immediately out of breath after the first cut and continues to deteriorate from that point. Top men calculate the filming took place at the [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/trail.html Saunders-Monticello Trail].

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Hike
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37pXWB9rjBU}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[ECV 00001]]
| next = Current
}}

==Transcription==

''[Chris is filming himself with his handheld camera. He is sitting in his car in broad daylight. Children scream in the background]''

Quarter after three now. I'm gonna be making my way up a mountain trail nearby [[Wikipedia:Monticello|The Monticello]]. I'll check back in about a quarter of an hour. I've got my ''OFF!'', an' got my camera here and my phone. Be okay.

''[Jump cut, Chris has begun to labor in his breathing]''

Ah, just a few minutes into my little hiking trail. So I walk off course to visit the little woodland theater or Palmer that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|my congregation]] and I visited one past Sunday and now I'm gonna walk up further up the trail and I'll be back in a bit.

''[Jump cut, Chris is standing still.]''

Another trail as got explored by me, so I'm gonna take a little look up the trail and see what's up this way. Check in in a bit, it is quite a mysterious forest. Along the mountain beside The Monticello.

''[Cut to dead tree]''

Hm. A tree that has been uprooted by a past weather event, along the side of this path. Deep in the chasm, that forms a river. Which could be a river, if there was more water in it.

''[Jump cut, Chris's heavy breathing is slowly replacing the narration as the dominant soundtrack]''

Deeper and deeper into the forest the trail goes, where it leads? I don't know yet. There's a rock with moss. Moss grows on the north side. On tree bark or rock formations. I just walked across a wooden plank. ''[Prolonged gasping for air]'' If you think it's spooky. Well, you're wrong. Because it's only a stick I've stepped on. [[Obesity|A really big stick]]. North is that way! As I have seen, on this rock and it's mold.

''[Narration becomes slower and slower with more breaks]'' Huh, look at that. A tree bit formation with moss on the wrong side. Bet it got twisted and turned. That's why it's on the wrong side. Isn't it?

It is a sunny day in the village of Monticello. It's even a sunny day in the forest. Things may or may not be well, we'll see what what happens as we walk long this trail ''[Breathing continues horribly]''

Huh, another tree fallen. [[Chris_and_music#Singing|''[Chris sings]'' Free fallin']]. Cut up 'chucks. Ah, look at this, a bit of an open field. A field that is open for play by one animal or two, or so. Quite possibly, many more. I think we go this way in the fork of the road. Other way goes back to civilization and I'm not ready to head back just yet. Look at that ''[Chris points the camera at a tree]'' a shade of red on this tree. One would suppose, rotted? Or dead wood? Or perhaps it is just dirty from dirt and grime thrown upon by it's wondrous past.

[[File:Blairchris.png|thumb|The parallels are eerie.]]

Over here, there's another big tree. OVER THERE! Fallen and uprooted.

''[Heavy breathing, slow walking, shaky camera]''

Quite a chasm down there. If that were water, it probably would be a river. A big one.

''[Heavy breathing followed by a burp]''

Goin' up a trail, not down the trail. Goin' up a trail not down the trail.

I'd care to comment, but you know what? I'd just prefer to marvel on nature and it's revels. [[Random-access humor|A bug buzzing about me. Not busy as a bumble bee.]]

''[Camera spends prolonged periods of time pointed at the ground, Chris is now gulping air.]''

''[Two pained grunts]''

Whew, a long way up we have gotten.

''[Chris is stumbling with exhaustion and stops midway on the trail]''

Well I think we've reached the end of our trail, not too many ways to go, yeah? We have reached a dead end.
''[Camera clearly shows the trail continuing off to the right, despite Chris's claims to the contrary]''

Rest a moment and I'm going to head by to [[Son-Chu|my car]]. Take a hiking trail of your own, if you will, in your own forest where there in dwell.

''[Jump cut]''

Another commentary note, if you will, for down that big trail at that major fork with the clearing, we find an overlook. Let's take a look over.

Hm. Vast glorious view from here. As was portrayed and enjoyed by a Carter family.

''[Chris points the camera at himself. He is simultaneously flushed, pale and drenched with sweat]''

Signing off now, y'all take care and be s-

==Notes==
While difficult to try to guess why Chris does things, a person might find it odd that he turns his camera off while walking. One theory might be he doesn't want people to see how little exercise it will take to get him tired. Thanks to a map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail (found [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf here]), we can calculate the relative health of Chris by comparing his breathing with the actual distance covered. Using the scale of the map, estimates place the distance from his car to the Palmer Woodland Theater at roughly 822 feet. It should be noted that this also happens to be the approximate distance of a walk if Chris were to start at the beginning of Branchland Court, walk around the cul-de-sac at the end of the street, and return from whence he started. Along with traversing the grueling 822 foot trail, Chris climbed an astounding 40 feet in elevation.

Chris repeatedly refers to Monticello, the historic home of famed Virginian and Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, as ''The'' Monticello for no reason.

==External links==
* [http://www.monticello.org/parkway/ParkwayTrails.pdf Map of the Saunders-Monticello Trail] — what an average human could walk through in less than fifteen minutes without breaking a sweat.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ECV 00001]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Cherokian Clan

2010-10-10T16:02:17Z

CrassCrab: /* Seriously? */

[[Image:CherokeeChris.jpg|thumb|right|Chris celebrating his Cherokee ancestry by donning traditional clothing.]]
[[Chris]] claims to have at least one ancestor who is [[Cherokee]]. Thus, the '''Cherokian Clan''' is the tribe he believes this ancestor belongs to. The ancient exploits of the clan figure heavily into the mythology of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics.

The primary rival tribe of the Cherokian Clan was the [[Wasabi Clan]], which Chris stole from ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]''.

==Fictional history==
[[Image:Chrisansestore.jpg|thumb|right|Cherokians have heads bigger than their torsos, arms thicker than their legs, and still manage to wear ill-fitting clothing. Seriously.]]
[[Image:160-ChrokiChanCard.jpg|thumb|...and they have MyLittlePony fursonas.]]
[[Image:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|thumb]]

Apparently living in what is now [[Virginia]] many centuries ago, the Cherokians (pronounced [tʃəˈɹɑkiən] - chuh-rock-ee-uhn by Chris) possessed considerable mystical powers and skill for prophecy. The Cherokee leader, Christian's ancestor, wore a coveted [[Cherokian crown]] which somewhat resembled the ears of [[Sonichu]], suggesting that there is [[Transformers|more than meets the eye]] to Christian's creation.

The Cherokians and Wasabi fought frequently over both the crown and the Cherokian queen, whom the Wasabi leader wanted as his own. Despite this, the Cherokians and Wasabi joined forces to defeat and imprison their mutual enemy, [[Count Graduon]].

Recognizing that Graduon could someday again threaten mankind, the Cherokians wrote the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], describing the exact circumstances of Graduon's escape and the identity of the individuals who would summon the power to defeat him. The prophecy was locked away in the Destiny Cave somewhere near the future site of [[CWCville]], Virginia, along with the Fireshock Pendant and Lightning Bracelets that would empower two of the three "electric creatures" fated to stop Graduon.

==Seriously?==
Chris is among a very large number of Americans — most of whom aren't autistic man-children — who claim to have some distant [[Wikipedia:Native American|Native American]] heritage. In particular, it is especially common for many white and [[Niggos|black]] people, and especially in the South, to specifically claim Cherokee heritage. How accurate all of those claims are is another matter. At least in some cases, it is more likely that the "Cherokee ancestor" is a cover for having a distant Black ancestor (if the person claiming the ancestry is White) or White ancestry (if the person claiming it is Black).

In Chris's case, it needs to be noted that he also claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], whose only offspring, as Wikipedia reminds us, died without children (...so, in a spiritual sense, he might in fact be ''her'' descendant; however, she chose to abstain instead of going on a [[Love quest|fucktarded wild goose chase]]). And for someone who takes pride in his Cherokee ancestry, he is remarkably ignorant regarding actual Cherokees, who resemble Chris's Cherokees the way the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki resemble the American Godzilla remake. He depicts the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as White and blue-eyed, referring to Cherokee artifacts, customs, and people with the dubious demonym "Cherokian," and, oh, ''slathering them in '''solid gold''' ''Sonichu''-themed jewelery and armor.'' You know, like so many Indians were known to wear.

If you're surprised at the sheer ignorance someone can be of pop culture to the point of not picking up on Indian clichés, pay more attention. Further, given his notorious disdain for education, he either forgot or didn't pay attention to lessons on actual Native American history or culture, which is taught in most American elementary/primary schools. And last, he's a [[Colossal]] narcissist, and so may think that his Cherokee (or, ahem, "Cherokian") ancestors were blue-eyed white men decked in gold because he's a blue-eyed white guy who doesn't have a breastplate made of solid gold, but would appreciate one if it could get him chicks. Which, admittedly, would be much more effective than [[Attraction Sign|his old methods.]]

In his defense, [[Chris's Big Night Out|recent events have shown]] that Chris takes his [[Alcohol|firewater]] about as well as the Indians did.

When a letter in the [[mailbag]] asked to explain his inaccuracies regarding the Cherokee people and how he came to presenting them in the comics the way he did, Chris offered that he didn't know as much about the Cherokees as he possibly could. He doesn't admit that he was blindingly, mind numbingly ''wrong'', simply that there might be a few facts he glossed over.

==The Cherokee respond to Christian's claims about his heritage==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|fRXroiXFTWs}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Cherokian Crown]]
*[[Wasabi Clan]]
*[[War Paint Video]]
*[[ECV 00001]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUQ0O7gPKMA Cherokee Chris-chan]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Plot Devices]]

100 2267

2010-10-09T03:34:16Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by DeliciousPickles (talk) to last revision by Thepicklesuitintheman

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video Chris decides to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by making an overblown impression of him and imitating his fake tan by dressing up in [[black]]face, bizarrely (although probably [[Niggos|not by Chris's standards]]), although at least he got the part of Clyde's image being that of a kissy-face-making Guido correct.

Then all of a sudden he rambles about how he deserves to die and about how he raped [[Panda]].
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mPsy3QwPiAo}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
[[File:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash is not amused]]
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with "I GOT WHAT I DESERVE" on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] who spends his time following and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Chris and English|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Chris and rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent_garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]''
Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Death threats|Kill me now! Kill me now]], [[Chris and psychology|I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2269]]
*[[100 2270]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:100 2267

2010-10-08T01:41:18Z

CrassCrab:

Anyone transcribing? Guess I'll give it a go...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:24, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Oh sorry man, I just did. I'll add it to the page but there were a couple of words I didn't guess, like at 00:24. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 15:27, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Just edited it with the template from the previous video...edited a but of corect stuff in there someone else take care of it I'm off to tranbscribe another video he just uploaded.--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 16:04, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

I fixed up the transcription [[User:StarryNight|StarryNight]] 15:41, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

I'm pretty sure it's "following" not "wallowing", but Chris does pronounce his Fs like a retard. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:15, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Oh dear god, Is Chris referencing The Boss? His "Kill me Clyde Cash". --[[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 16:17, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

What does a "one cent daughter" even mean? Why is he insulting Panda's and Clyde's kid? --[[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]] 19:10, 7 October 2010

:Her name is Penny. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 18:41, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:100 2270

2010-10-08T00:20:48Z

CrassCrab: Quit trying to dox Liquid.

Transcribing...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:40, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Can the transcriber please put in the discussion when they are transcribing so that multiple people don't transcribe...--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 15:54, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Sorry brah, try being quicker ;P Nah, I kid. But seriously. And I have a name. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 16:07, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
==Same person?==
Unless I'm missing something, he seems to think Alec Benson Leary and Liquid are the same person. Worth mentioning I guess. [[User:I Love Little Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 15:49, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
* Actually he's imitating Liquid imitating Alec Benson Leary. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 16:22, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
**I think he's alternating between the two. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 16:28, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
== British? ==

Are you sure Chris is trying to do a British accent in this one? Neither Alec nor Liquid are English, and he's saying he's from Pennsylvania (or, indeed, Philadelphia). It sounds to me like he's trying to imitate what he considers to be a nasal quality in Liquid's voice. --[[User:Radishchu|Radishchu]] 16:14, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
*Yeh, that's probably more accurate. To me it seems like he's poorly imitating Eric Cartman's voice from South Park. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 16:22, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

* Think I'll edit it if nobody minds. I really don't think it is an English accent, even by Chris' standards. --[[User:Radishchu|Radishchu]] 16:45, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

File talk:Robble.jpg

2010-10-07T15:43:02Z

CrassCrab:

Can we get one of grimace please? [[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 09:20 Oct 7th, 2010 (EST)
:You might as well MS Paint a sack of potatoes purple and you have Grimace Chris. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 08:43, 7 October 2010 (PDT)

User talk:Bobsinthekkk

2010-10-07T02:33:37Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Bobsinthekkk (talk) to last revision by Austin

== Da Update edits ==

Please stop re-adding the paragraph about the prank call to Da update. I've added a link to the call onto the template in far less spammy fashion. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:48, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:hey stop trying to push your bullshit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:47, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
::Oh and don't try to hide your talk page messages or anything. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:56, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
Sry it won't happen again I promise.

http://789chan.org/cwc/res/6115.html

You want to know what was wrong with the call, these guys can explain it pretty well.

Man it was one of our first videos christ cut us some slack. we all start somewhere don't we.

*Sign your post. After all this do we really need a Prank Call Page? It seems that to generate abundance of insufferable fags thinking it should be on DA UPDATE. An old white man being racist isn't some amazing discovery. [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 18:56, 24 September 2010 (PDT)
* If you're going to actually do something fruitful with your call or you're at least doing it in an organized way like Alec Benson Leary did, go. If you don't, shut your fucking mouth and get the fuck out of the internets. It's as simple as that. -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 16:00, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

Fuck Clyde and all the elitest fags who think trolling is a way of life your all nothing more then 20 year olds in front of your cpu's thinking your hot shit but really your nothing in the real world.

...wtf? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Someone]] 18:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

* Yep, and because you're chill with this trolling shit and take it easy, you try your fucking hardest to shove it on the main page. Pot, meet kettle. -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 16:00, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

This is coming from two faggots trying to gain our approval. --[[User:AntonImaus|AntonImaus]] 21:57, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

Typical. You do something stupid and people tell you it's stupid, but instead of realizing that and bettering yourselves, you just cry out "you don't have lives!". Do you realize what a sterotype you are?--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 18:45, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

== Your edits... ==

If you're Chris, lurk moar.

If you're somehow Bob, leave now, old man.

If you're a white knight, just leave.

Just saying. The comments you leave are both in the wrong places and unsigned. Just shut up while you still can. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:06, 25 September 2010 (PDT)
* Good god, those first two sentences made me want to reach through the computer and beat the shit out of you for being so fucking retarded. Lets just stick to calling him what he actually is, somebody that participated in a mediocre prank call and thinks they're king of the trolls. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 13:39, 26 September 2010 (PDT)
* welcome to the cwcki sully!!111 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 13:39, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Ivy O'Neil

2010-10-06T00:12:52Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Armoraxe (talk) to last revision by James Lamp-Eye

ivy is just chris trying to lay one on us trolls amirite? he probably made the whole thing up.

* Ivy's real. Yeah, I talked to her. Lurk moar.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:16, 16 April 2009 (CEST)

Odd you should say that. She must like watching him drink his own cum? -Decrumpit
:Ain't nuttin' wrong wit dat. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:57, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

==Break up==
I need to fix this. No offense Fat Nigger but please, if you're not sure of something, don't make up details. A lot of what you wrote is misleading. I realize that knowing what happened based of Clyde's description can be limiting but the conclusions arisen do not follow from even just the knowledge of that description. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 22 May 2009 (CEST)

: I added that stuff, sorry. I tried to stick to what Clyde wrote in the "end of an era" thread, using some of his words but didn't figure out in what order things happened. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:06, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

::The history tab is your friend. Most of what I do are minor fixes. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:37, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

Has any one here read the description about Ivy on his Avril Lavigne parody video? Apparently Ivy killed herself recently because she wasn't able to visit Chris in Ruckersville. What bullshit have you trolls been feeding him this time? And should someone (myself perhaps) update this page with news of "her death"? --[[User:James Yeaman|James Yeaman]] 12:26, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

==dead==
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!--[[User:Muserock7997|Muserock7997]] 15:30, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

*How about you add it to the actual article next time? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:04, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

The Krapple quote isn't mine, but it LOL'd me so much! \^o^/ --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 06:37, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Oh my Dog! Why does Chris keep having people die so horribly and violently? Can't they just die without having to burn to death or asphyxiate painfully or reach terminal velocity or ''anything'' not so brutal? What part of Chris makes him do this? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:05, 1 December 2009 (CET)

Does Chris plan to bump off every one of his remaining ex-girlfriends in this storyline? We should start a dead pool. 20 bucks says Kacey gets decapitated by a jagged broken window or something within 10 pages. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:17, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*No way man. Kacey will get kidnapped by the fiendish brown Sonichu who can never treat her right. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:22, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Who killed Ivy? ==

A small question - how did Chris figure out Ivy committed suicide? Did someone ''tell'' that to Chris, or did he just ''assume'' Ivy killed herself due to loneliness (like a certain famous lady who died in a fire)? When and how this was brought to Chris's attention, and what were his first reactions? Sauce is nice. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 13:45, 1 December 2009 (CET)
:In [[IRC (23 July 2009)]] Chris tried to spy amongst the trolls by going under the disguise of Bill Riley, yet being Chris still had his hostname being Sonichu. The trolls tagged him along and acted as if they didn't even noticed, and then gave the story that Ivy was TRUE and HONEST with Chris, but because she couldn't see him anymore she hung herself out of sorrow. Seeing how Chris was under disguise we never got a proper reaction, but I bet for at least 5 seconds he felt sad, and then he moved on. --[[User:Da-zen-man|Da-zen-man]] 21:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Need pic==

Can someone draw a pic of Ivy being strangled by elevator cables? I would do It but my drawing skills suck ass--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:27, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*...why? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:24, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'm pretty sure none of us need to know the answer to that one. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:38, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Phone calls ==

Were these recorded for any reason? I thought that Chris trolling was highly monitored. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 18:08, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:Ivy wanted PVCC to respect her privacy(or something similar) and therefore her phone calls were not recorded.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:13, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

== Real or Not? ==
I'm getting a lot of confusing suggestions both that Ivy was real and wasn't real. Exactly what is the troll verdict? Is there even certainty either way? All of this seems to be left out in open, for instance: If it was trolls who mentioned Ivy's death, was she real and simply sick of him and his shit and excommunicated him and trying to spare his feelings by saying she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore? Or was he a figment of his imagination that got out of control? (Y'know how if you lie about something for so long, you'll eventually believe the lie? Of course with Chris, it takes considerably less time.) --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 00:00, 12 August 2010.
:Best be trolling. But in case you're not, Ivy was a real girl in contact with Chris. She just wanted a shout-out from him in the Sonichu comics, but instead he latched onto her and she became the next gal-pal. I'm pretty sure the "Ivy killed herself" thing was an attempt to get Chris to show an emotion other than mildly nonplussed dead fish. Lurk more. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 21:35, 11 August 2010 (PDT)

Ivy O'Neil

2010-10-06T00:12:14Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Armoraxe (talk) to last revision by Sonijew is back

{{quote|But anyway, Ivy is not a [[troll]]. She is real. She is true. And she is my [[sweetheart]]. We are going to be together in the near future and we are going to have [[sex]]. We're going to lose our virginities to each other... and it's going to be awesome. Ivy is real! We are going to be together! Foreverrr!|[[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]]}}

[[Image:Ivy.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris-Chan actually believed]]

'''Ivy O'Neil''' (also '''Ivy O' Niel'''[sic] or '''Ivy O'Nial''' [sic]) (born 17 March 1992) was [[Chris]]'s [[sweetheart]] from 25 [[March 2009]] to the first half of [[May 2009]].

Something about Ivy brought out the crazy in Chris to levels rarely seen before or since. The Ivy saga resulted in three ''[[Sonichu Special 1|Sonichu Specials]]'', four music videos, a bunch of weird and creepy non-music videos (including conclusive proof Chris drinks his own [[semen]]), a long awaited [[Tour of Christian's House|tour of his house]], a new [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys album]], procuring [[CWC is Angry|The Lost Video]], the emergence of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]] as troll obstacles, images of the new [[Medallion of Fail]] while he's wearing [[butt garments]], and unexpected changes in Chris's behavior. Despite this, many people (notably [[/cwc/|Krapplefags]]) bitch about how Ivy failed and did nothing.

Due to the increase in absurdity of Chris's behavior in this period, there are many fags who thought, and still think, that Ivy is a figment of Chris's imagination. Curiously, Ivy was also the name of a female troll in ''[[Wikipedia:Deathtrap Dungeon|Deathtrap Dungeon]]''.

==Origins==
[[Image:Ivy.png|thumb|left|Image first posted on [[/cwc/]].]]

In [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], Chris gave a shout out to "Avi" and her friend Rachel. These were originally assumed to be code names for [[Emily]] and her friend Stephanie to protect their identities. The next day, Chris edited the video to blow kisses to "Avi".

The video [[CWC's Message for Ivy]] on 20 March confirmed that Chris was actually saying '''"Ivy"''' and that he had already moved onto a new girl the same day he was tricked by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. This video was deleted and so some people did not know about it until four days later.

On 21 March, Ivy was introduced on [[/cwc/]].

==Character==

Ivy is frequently seen with her sidekick [[Layla|Luckett]].

Ivy has crabs. Her pet hermit crabs are named [[Crass and Champ]].

Ivy is a redhead. Chris lowered his standards slightly by allowing her to become a sweetheart (previously, women with red hair were excluded along with blacks and non-[[boyfriend-free girl]]s).

==Honeymoon==
[[Image:Dearest Ivy by Chimerica.jpg|thumb|The [[Wedding Comic]] was so sparse other artists had to fill in.]]

On [[2009#April|27 April 2009]], a [[Giant Penis Comic|comic featuring what Chris thinks would be his perfect honeymoon]] was leaked.

In this comic, Chris starts out by presenting himself to Ivy's father, a [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[police]] officer dressed in blue with a real metallic badge. They later go to a "Double-CWC" hotel thought to be in [[CWCville]] (apparently a rip-off of the real Double Tree luxury hotels). They both enter a room with as many as 5 Glade lavender air fresheners, presumably there to mask the stench of his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs| uncontrollable bowels]], all filled with hearts made of rose petals. They promptly start having sex.

During the sex scene, Chris first starts out by pulling off his tuxedo and his dress pants, revealing his trademark striped shirt and medallion. Then he pulls out his ''ludicrously enormous'' [[duck]], as in the size of a ''human leg'' — which mysteriously happens to shrink later to a normal size in order to fit into Ivy's vagina — before they both transform into their fursonas: Ivy into a non-descript [[rosechu (species)|rosechu]], and Chris into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. Once they're done, they both raise their heads in awe and shout "THANK YOU, [[God|GOD]]!".

Afterwards, Chris and Ivy are shown having what Chris thinks of as a fancy dinner: grilled chicken, vegetables, mashed potatoes, and [[Semen|CWC Orange Soda]] served in wine glasses.

Explanations for why he considered such a cheap-ass honeymoon are varied. Some people believe it's due to Chris's good ol' narcissism. Others believe this is because Chris was raised in such a dirty and sloppy household, that stuff most people would consider mundane is very luxurious to him (consider the fact that he's fantasized about taking his first [[dating|date]] to ''[[McDonald's]]''). Others, meanwhile, believe this is because Chris, being the deranged, socially inept manchild that he is, has never been to a fancy restaurant.
{{clear}}

==Break-up==

One of Ivy's main goals was to get Chris to continue working on his comic. However, Chris didn't want to finish it because [[Rocky]] was tipped off and so Chris feared she would break up with him.{{cite}}

Ivy had been planning to break up with Chris for a while, but [[Joshua Martinez]]'s concurrent trolling effort as [[Vanessa Hudgens]] forced her to postpone. When it was suspected that Josh was trolling Chris for cash instead of the lulz, Ivy and her friend told Chris to cancel the check he'd made out for a "special" [[PSP]] from "Vanessa." The attempt to help Chris backfired, as Chris thought he would be [[fail|clever]] if he gave Josh a check he knew was bad, and then kept the PSP, insisting that "Vanessa" would be "upset" if he gave it back to Josh. On top of that, Ivy discovered that Chris had been stealing money from his parents for his [[PSN]].

The $30 check cancellation fee upset Chris's parents so much that they went to the police. [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] decided to mention the trolls and had the police do a background check on Ivy.

She decided to break up with Chris and hung up on him during a phone call. She told Bob they were just friends and that Chris had been harassing her with more than 500 phone calls. Bob probably didn't relay the message to his son, so Chris probably still thinks it's okay to call girls over 20 times a day.<ref>[[Clyde Cash]]</ref>

On the night of 14 [[May 2009|May]], the following was written on Chris's [[ED]] talk page:

{{quote|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the crestfallen emotions, but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to troll me any further. Do you dare?

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler.|Chris, recovering from the crestfallen emotions}}

Chris has since removed all Ivy-related videos from his [[YouTube]] account. Unexpectedly, he went back to searching for girls in the real world, and for a time his [[love quest]] became a [[fuck quest]].

==Death==
[[File:IvysDeath.png|thumb|right|An artist's depiction of Ivy's untimely death.]]

"Ivy" committed suicide by hanging in July 2009 "from being restricted from Communication, as well as coming to visit me" according to Chris. He tastelessly uploaded [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] as a belated memorial.

In November 2009, he [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92 described Ivy's death in a giant wall of text] in [[Sonichu 9|the comic]]. During the PVCC's assault on CWCville, she was apparently trapped in a collapsing elevator, got the cables tangled around her neck, and was strangled to death despite [[BILLY MAYS]]'s best efforts to save her. The page laying all of this out carries a brief dedication: "In memory of [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichu-Girl]], **Ivy O'Niel**".

All this suggested that Chris had forgotten (or willfully blotted out all memory of) the evidence that Ivy was a troll.

{{quote|I love how CWC could have just said she died in an elevator crash, and we all would've gotten it. Like, it exploded, or whatever.

Instead, he has to paint this visual of her being caught in an elevator cable and having her neck snap, hanging in an empty elevator shaft swaying back and forth until someone opens the doors and sees the horrific sight in front of them.

Beautiful. Only an autistic genius could come up with that.|Anonymous Krapplefag on this page}}

==Life after death==
On 19 [[April 2010]], Chris updated the [[CWCipedia]] with a page containing various profiles of his "[[gal-pal]]s and past sweethearts." Among them was a brief and somewhat ambivalent mention of Ivy:

{{quote|Another online romance, but better... with Telephone Conversations. Ivy and I were entwined within our relationship for about 3 months; it was good. Then later on, when I was talking to a detective on the case of finding my Trolls and seeing justice done unto them, he looked into Ivy and her family; found NOTHING on them, even her father who was a Police Officer. Then in a mental quandary and confusion, I stopped talking to Ivy for a few months. She called me one last time after the time; I still felt confused. Then I hear from Vivian that Ivy committed suicide by hanging.|Chris, on the CWCipedia}}

Chris's feelings about Ivy are difficult to interpret. It's possible that he has partially processed and accepted the evidence that she may have been a troll, but still wants to hold out some kind of hope that her feelings for him were sincere.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|OH SHI-! Ivy has been kidnapped by Clyde! IS CHRIS A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE HER?
Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|Chris is [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for an hero]].
Image:CWCsIvyKiss.jpg|"FUCK IT'S [[Episode 2|EPISODE 2]] ALL OVER AGAIN FUCKKKKK" - [[Vivian Gee]] <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB6c5txd8ro#t=2m32s Sonichu - Special Episode 1! The Audiobook! Clyde VS Chris!]</ref>
Image:350meko.jpg|Rape is imminent. On a more serious note: Chris fails at pantyshots.
Image:Ivy Jammies.jpg|Moar original art from Ivy.
Image:IvyRing.jpg|IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME...
Image:IvysRosechu.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Rosechu]].
Image:IvysBubbles to Blake.jpg|Ivy's take on [[Bubbles]].
Image:Layla.jpg|Ivy's OC, [[Layla]].
Image:IvyWedding.jpg|If the first thing you noticed was the zapbuds, you are beyond redemption.
Image:Ivypickle.jpg|Even the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in the Pickle Suits]] love Ivy.
Image:Princessivy.png|Princess Ivy, Ivy's fursona.
Image:CWC,Ivy,fursona.jpg|Chris-chan Sonichu and Princess Ivy together.
Image:IvyBondage.jpg|Bondage: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!
Image:Cwc&ivy34.jpg|Rule 34 even applies to Chris's heartsweets.
Image:CWCRescuesIvy.jpg
Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|Our heroes mourn Ivy's death, or something like that.
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:O'Neil, Ivy}}

[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Mumble 2

2010-10-05T22:13:39Z

CrassCrab: Reverted edits by Markyjoe1990 (talk) to last revision by SeventhBase

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|right|180px|In Mumble 2, a Wild [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]] appeared.]]

'''Mumble 2''' is the second [[Mumble]] chat that took place on 4 [[February 2009]]. More than an hour long.

This is a more organized Q&A type chat than [[Mumble 1]]. Questions from [[Clyde]] about [[sex]] in the [[comic]] and interesting tidbits about how Chris believes sex is the same as romance. This is pretty hard hitting, with stuff like how Chris is into [[McDonald's|fast food]] yet he's against tobacco. A lot of drama involving Clyde.

Length: '''1:49:17'''

==Summary==

===Notes===
* Chris doesn't like Clyde because he stole his sweetheart.
* Audio cuts out for a minute before Chris says: "...HYMEN!" (You broke her hymen)
* Trolls claim [[Panda]] is with Clyde, Chris wants to hear her voice, they say she's busy
* 'She and I WERE very close'
* Chris didn't have $400-$800 to go and see Panda; claims he got this number from an airport website recommended by [[Miyamoto]]
* Insists on [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] being in ''[[Animal Crossing]]''
* Doesn't want to talk about his deal with them
* Insists that he doesn't have to turn down his radio since his voice is louder (''it is horribly loud in the mic'')
* Panda gave Clyde all of the sites, etc.
* [[Sarah]] is going to be with Clyde, which Chris wants to deny
* These motherfuckers keep talking over each other
* Calls a troll's critique crap
* [[Bubbles]] must be aroused, she isn't wet all the time
* Bubbles is 90% water so does sperm just swim around forever? NO
* Clyde: This is a children's comic, why so much sex?
: '''Chris:''' It is romance. My best artwork is when they're making out 'romantic moments', drawn in protest to trolls. Shows that [[Rosechu]]s have vaginas, not [[duck]]s.
* Admits to maybe going overboard
* Trolls try to reason with him about the [[ED]] article: There wouldn't be an article if he didn't react like he does.
* Trolls say that TV-Y7 means NO SEX but Chris points to romantic anime that have making out (cartoons are for kids, whatever the content).
* Trolls talk about Japan being less strict about those things
* Everyone gets to vote in [[CWCville]], even if they're [[Niggos|black]].
* Got his idea from [[Mary Poppins]].
* Troll tries to give historical background about cough medicine putting kids to sleep. Chris insists it was the lullaby that put them to sleep.
* Discussion about Chris, 'gay message' sent by a troll
* He calls Clyde a scoundrel
* BELIEVE HIM HE IS STRAIGHT
* Chris tries to speak Mexican at 20:50
* Mexican speaks Mexican to him... he replies in Menglish
* [[4-cent_garbage]] is located in Mexico
* Someone says that he needs to improve his Mexican
* Chris is against smoking, CWCville is smoke and alcohol free
* Rehash of why [[tobacky]] is bad, his position on it, alcohol=bar fights
* Chris's dad smoked and had several bypasses, has a pacemaker and has had heart attacks
* Mention of his hair cuttings for his fans
* Chris was doing math in his head, got in car crash.
* Chris has taken college level math. Took trigonometry.
* Trolls gang up on Clyde for stealing Panda
* Time will tell when Chris will make the money he would have in the Nintendo deal
* Trolls bash Clyde for his pot smoking
* Chris doesn't watch news because it's bad news =(
* Bashing of the Mexican
* Chris can type 30 to 100 WPM, but can't type and talk at the same time
* Chris says [[PSN]] is free though Clyde(?) points to the $1,000 Chris spent on PSN
* Chris has been typing for 15 minutes now and it is VERY loud
* Chris has been busy IRL therefore the comic release doesn't have a date
* Someone points to nudes on [[YouTube]].
* He does not have it on the YouTube, but he isn't going to take it anymore.
* Claims some of the photos are photoshopped.
* Clyde offers help to take ED page down.
* Chris denies taking those pictures, doesn't want to talk about it, making him uncomfortable.
* Some of the pictures are real. When questioned which ones are fake, Chris can't answer.
* Chris hates Harry Potter because it was in competition with [[Pokémon]]!
* Chris is too stressed to read Vivian's [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|book]], but he likes the cover!
* Polly, who has been talking the whole time is confronted by Chris who thinks she is a guy. Polly is upset. Chris apologizes.
* [[Jimmy Hill]] has launched his Sonichu show
* More Mexican talk at 55:10
* Chris giggles and sighs happily when Cassie, another Mexican, compliments him and when she leaves he says 'Chiquita Bonita'
* Rabbichoso talk (Sonichu.info)
* Classic trolls are leaving Chris alone.
* Chris likes Steel Angel Kurumi (''quote from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel_Angel_Kurumi Wikipedia]: often classified as ecchi due to the focus on fanservice and panty shots'')
* Chris claims to be very strong, could beat Clyde up. Says he would show Clyde a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Hard Day's Night]], and would give Clyde pain.
* ShinyMarshtomp makes an appearance? Likes Rabbichoso
* Chris likes to eat at [[Country Cookin]] (''like Golden Corral'')
* Chris likes to imagine his first time.
* Clyde says the first time is awful, Chris said it was because Clyde prematurely ejaculated
* Watch porn with naked women to cure your gay
* Guys sitting next to you = gay coming on to you
* Falsion has been in the chat room and is afraid he is gay
* A wild Snorlax appears

==Transcript==

===Waiting for Chris===
 '''Polly:''' I can't wait to hear Chris! I'm a huge fan!
 '''Clyde:''' Oh, goddamn these noodles are fantastic. Man, I wish I could eat like this everyday.
 '''Troll:''' Have you eaten the rice balls?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no. These are noodles. These are-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Fan-fucking-tastic.
 '''Clyde:''' Now they're all gone, it's fantastic, you know?
 '''Troll:''' Sweetangie is Chris. Or, we think so.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is him.
 '''Clyde:''' It's definitely not the real Chris.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm disappointed there's so many impostors out there. Kinda my fault, but, you know, if it weren't- ''[unintelligible]'' -hard to come by.
 '''Troll:''' His mic was working last time he was here, just fine.
 '''Troll:''' He usually capitalizes his words, like in every sentence.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I don't think this is- I don't think this is him.
 '''Troll:''' Is it set to push to talk or something?
 '''Polly:''' Um...
 '''Troll:''' You better get us your email address Chris.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah its push to talk. It's called push to talk. It's fantastic ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Troll:''' No, just have him set it to voice activity. It works so much better that way.
 '''Polly:''' Aww, he left.
 '''Jack''': You guys are fucking idiots.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other again]''
 '''Troll:''' You guys scared him off by being guys.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, you fucking jackasses. Nice going.
 '''Troll:''' Was that even the real...?
 '''Troll:''' Yes, that was the real Chris.
 '''Troll:''' He's too much of a pussy to talk.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, cause you scared him, or some- No, or he's too stupid to be.
 ''[Trolls Laugh]''

===Chris Arrives===
 '''Chris:''' ''[Chris arrives, with radio playing loudly]'' Hello.
 ''[Trolls all greet him]''
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, now-
 '''Troll:''' Why haven't you got your microphone working?
 '''Chris:''' I don't know why my microphone [is] messed up.
 '''Troll:''' I'm sorry, but we had an impostor here before.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm registered. I've got myself registered now. So, uh, hopefully-
 '''Troll:''' That's probably why. It had to like, uh- calibrate.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Well, I'm calibrated now.
 '''Clyde:''' So, Chris, have you seen Rabbichoso, it's fantastic.
 '''Chris:''' I don't give a crap about your stupid pencil sketch.
 ''[Audio cuts out]''
 '''Chris:''' I am not listening. I do not have to listen to ''you''.
 '''Clyde:''' Why, I'm not understanding [inaudible]
 '''Chris:''' Well for one thing,and i'll say it on here, you stole my sweetheart!
 ''[Cutout continues]''

===PandaHalo, Trip to Redmond and Animal Crossing===
 '''Chris:''' You broke her hymen!
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I know it's a terrible mistake, but I plan to make it up to her. I'm getting married and uh- I'm doing the things I should do.
 '''Chris:''' Oh and another thing, if she is really over there with you now, then put her on the mic. Please.
 '''Jack''': She's not- He never said-
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, she's very busy, OK. She's very busy.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Clyde:''' She's not over here right now. Okay? So lets drop it.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, fine. Well could you tell her to please send me a message lettin' me know, for sure, so I can know- so I can know to-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Talks over Chris]'' I'll let her know whatever you want, but it's her life. She doesn't have to send you a message. You failed her. You failed her.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' She and I were very close.
 '''Clyde:''' If you we're so close, then why didn't you go?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]'' Because I had- Aw, hang on a second. How do I- oh, that's right. This thing. Right. Mmm. Hold on a sec. Oh yeah, because I did not have four to eight hundred dollars!
 '''Clyde:''' It doesn't cost that much to go cross-country man.
 '''Chris:''' Yes it does. I know, I saw it on an airport website. Where I was be- Where I was- recommended to me by Mr. Miyamoto.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, you can drive there. It's not that hard.
 '''Troll:''' What happened with that? I thought, um, didn't you have a deal with them or something? I heard a rumor that your characters were going to be in Animal Crossing.
 '''Chris:''' Well, they are in Animal Crossing. And I did- and I do- I did have a deal with them.
 '''Troll:''' What happened though?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' I'd rather not say.
 '''Troll:''' Oh.

===Chris's Radio, Clyde and Criticism===
 '''Troll:''' Chris, why don't you turn down the TV? It's hard to hear you.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Annoyed sigh]'' I do not have a TV turned on in here.
 '''Troll:''' I can hear it.
 '''Chris:''' I have a radio.
 '''Troll:''' I hear something in the background.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Burping throughout sentence]'' Well that's the- that would b- the radio. And it is not that loud.
 '''Troll:''' But it shows up pretty well on your microphone mic. With due respect.
 '''Chris:''' But still, my voice is louder than the radio.
 '''Troll:''' Ah goo- ahh given.
 '''Polly:''' Uh, Chris? Uh, when are you going to do the new Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something over Polly]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]'' Uh, I'll answer Polly's question. I'm not sure. It's, uh, it's in progress right now, I'm drawing it up.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I can't wait to read it!
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, we'll see.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Troll:''' Listen, Clyde kind of has admin on here, so we can't really do anything about him. So, yeah. I don't know.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Hard to hear over Chris's radio]'' ...with you guys. I love you guys. Just as much as Chris loves you guys. Right?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I was angry. I was angry. But I'm calm now.
 '''Troll:''' Don't try to hurt any other person from now on.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have much- I do not have much to say in response to that right now. Because I'm ticked off.
 '''Troll:''' Don't let him get to you.
 '''Troll:''' You're no better than he is, if you give in.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Chris:''' ''[Huge sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris, I just wanted to let you know I'm a huge fan of the comics, and I'm glad you keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job, and just keep it up, alright man?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, I appreciate the, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? The, the, uh- well, the encouraging words. Encouragement. I appreciate the encouragement. Well, there are things, uh- I- er- current events I do not appreciate. I appreciate the positive encouragement.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I can't really do anything. He took over the IRC channel. I used to be the owner. I mean Clyde. He's like taking over everything.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, it was because Panda gave it to me, you know. But anyway, I mean, you can't just listen to encouragement, you've got to listen to criticism, man. Criticisms are what make you better, you learn from your mistakes. You learn from mistakes.
 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 '''Troll:''' Be right back guys, my wife is calling.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I don't- I don't- Tons of people don't like the Rabbichoso art style, but you know, I gotta improve on that. That's something I plan to improve on. There's a lot of criticism in the [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|death of Sonichu]], right?
 '''Chris:''' What? What did you just say?
 '''Clyde:''' There's a lot of criticism of Sonichu. Right?
 '''Chris:''' Oh. For a moment there I thought you said something different.
 '''Clyde:''' What, what did you think I said? I'm just saying, there are people who like it and people who don't like it. You gotta start taking in those suggestions. You know?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. So many things that will be improved upon. But, I just have to hear from Sarah herself that she really is going to be with you, Clyde. I have to hear it from herself. It's one thing to hear it from you and then it's- then on that note, it's just I find it very hard to believe. So I have to hear it from her.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, I kinda think that Rabbichoso sucks. I mean, I think it could be funny, but it honestly looks like it's drawn by a kindergartener.
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Troll:''' I mean, Sonichu has evolved over the years. You can see that the art's getting better. Rabbichoso doesn't even look like something a beginner would do, honestly. I mean, ''[Interrupted]''
 '''Chris:''' A whole bunch of crap!
 ''[Everyone starts talking at once]''
 '''Polly:''' Also, Sonichu is in color.
 '''Clyde:''' I know, I accept his criticism. But you just called it crap! Now that's just rude.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I have emotions going behind me- uh, behind that opinion.

===Cassie===
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, did you get my message.
 '''Chris:''' Uh...
 '''Clyde:''' Aren't you going to be the gentleman, then? Aren't you gonna be the gentleman?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I just want to ask you, Chris. I'm Cassie's friend. She- she's worried sick about you. Why haven't you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' I did email her! As a- I- I haven't gotten any re-plies from her. I have emailed her and I have instant messaged her on A.I.M. and Skype. I haven't heard back from her. I don't know what's going on there.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' ...you emailed her.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' When was the last time you emailed her?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hang on, I'll check.
 '''Polly:''' Um, Chris? I have a question. My fa- One of my favorite new characters is, um, Simonla, and like, I also like Zapina as well. Um, are they gonna have bigger parts in the series later on?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?
 '''Polly:''' Um, I was wondering if Simonla and Zapina will either have bigger parts in the series later on.
 '''Chris:''' [[Sonichu_10#The_Final_Countdown|Possibly]]. Possibly, but, uh, I can't say for sure. Oh, and, uh, to answer your question, uh- in answer to, uh, I believe, uh, Screwhead, who asked? It was about four days ago. About four days ago.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Yeah. Four days ago? Okay, I'll tell her to check it out.
 '''Chris:''' The last email I sent was about four days ago.
 '''Troll:''' She'll contact you in a while, though.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' I'll tell her to check it out and- and thanks Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Mm.

===Bubbles's Pussy and Sex in the Comics===
 '''Troll:''' Hey, Chris? I have a question.
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, my favorite character is Bubbles, I kinda liked the, uh, the thing she had going with Blake, where she was kind of keeping the relationship secret. I thought that was kinda clever. I was wondering, uh, she's a water-type, so does that mean that her vagina is always wet, or does she have to be aroused like a normal woman?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, aroused. That's applied for all the, uh, Rosechus there. And also, like, you know, she's not just a water-type, she's also- she's a water- and electric-type, like uh- oh, shoot- What's the name of that one? Originated from Gold-Silver-Crystal series, uh, evolves from Chinchou? Lanturn. And she has, uh, she has Volt Absorb ability.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, Chris, another question following Bubbles. Uh, her body is 90% water, and now this thing about the whole sexual intercourse- about it. Now, don't take this rude, and you don't need to answer me...
 '''Chris:''' No, that's fine.
 '''Troll:''' ...I totally respect your creative work. My wife actually got me into this, uh, show actually. So, what happens is- like, as you know, like, semens are like little fishes in themselves. Would that mean, I mean, would they actually have a route to fly into the egg, in theory, or do they just swim around her whole body, just forever just swimming around.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. The, uh, the internal or- the internal organs uh, for the Rosechus are pretty much the same thing, so I'd say pre- about, uh, as good chance as most any other mammal.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, so you mean she's able to control her density a little bit more. She- I understand now. She's able to control more her density from the 90% water. Okay. That pretty much answers it just perfectly. That's been bothering me at work. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Clyde:''' I got another question, Chris, about this whole sexual thing. I mean, this is a children's comic, right? Why is there so much sex in it?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. It's called romance, and my- and my- if you'll notice throughout the comics my best pieces of artwork among which were those where dey were kissing and making out. Romantic moments.
 '''Clyde:''' There's a hidden page-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' And because- and because- and because of the tension from, uh, the trolls and Encyclopedia Dramatica, I just felt like doing that in protest against them.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, but childre-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Clyde]'' Yes but how is that really a protest? That, you know, you know, are, are you like referencing to the 60's when women burned their bras? That was in protes- That was feminism. Saying that they weren't slaves to men. Do you even understand the whole thing?
 ''[Multiple voices are heard at once]''
 '''Chris:''' Now, to tell you the truth, I never really thought about, I never really thought about that when I-
 '''Jack''' ''[Interrupting Chris]'' Then how is, stripping was, how was that protest-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Interrupting Jack]'' It shows that they have vaginas and NOT dicks.
 '''Jack''' Well you know the dick thing was the fact that they were just, you know, mocking you. I think you went overboard with that.
 '''Chris:''' Well maybe I did. Maybe I did.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you did, because that seems kind of excessive, kind of-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Interrupts]'' I don't think they would have even bothered to write about an article about you if you didn't just keep reacting like that.

===Chris justifies sex in a kids' comic===

 '''Troll:''' I have another question.
 '''Troll:''' The point some of us are trying to make is, if it's TV-Y7 that means there should really be no sex in it at all.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unintelligible over other people]''
 '''Chris:''' That's pretty much incorrect, I mean, uh, there's so many romantic anime that's TV-Y7, and they shoul- they have making out.
 '''Clyde:''' You know, a lot of things in Japan, Japan has stricter standards-not stricter, I mean looser guidelines than America. It's much different.
 '''Chris:''' I hear ya.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, I was just wondering what Bubbles, um, she has a, that water whirlwind attack, I was just curious if you had any plans to make-
 '''Chris:''' ''[Butting in]'' By the way, that was a Whirl- Whirlpool.
 '''Troll:'''Yeah, Whirlpool, sorry, sorry, Whirlpool, but do you have any plans to mix an, uh, Electric-type attack with that, since water conducts electricity, right? It could be a very powerful-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' Yeah, she did, she did an electric attack amongst the- the walls of that Whirlpool and she let out. In case you didn't know, there's a- little bits of lightning bolts among which-
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, I'm sor- I didn't notice that, I'm sorry, I'll go take another look. Thank you.
 '''Max?:''' Hey Chris-
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max?:''' You make some pretty sweet Little Big Planet levels.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.

===Chris on Benadryl babysitting===

 '''Clyde:''' Oh, there's a message from Cogs on the side, it's about, uh, do women not have the right to vote already in CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' No, evry- Everybody, no matter what age, no matter what gender or race, everybody has the right to vote in CWCville. Even if they're black.
 '''Clyde:''' Then what's up with the "Votes for Women" thing, I was-
 '''Troll:''' Not just vote women, but- ''[interrupted]'' any other ethnicities, and gays?
 '''Troll:''' I don't understand-
 '''Chris:''' I did that- heard it in Mary Poppins.
 '''Jack:''' What? Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, man, Mary Poppins?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, Mary Poppins.
 '''Polly:''' I remember that movie.
 '''Troll:''' Aw, yeah, that movie.
 '''Chris:''' It's a classic. It's my favorite movie of all time.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that movie was, like, based in the 1900s.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but still I- still I agreed with that message there-
 '''Clyde:''' Taken out of context, that makes it seem like CWCville's set in the 1960s.
 '''Jack:''' What message? That children should be given cough medicine so they'll go to sleep?
 '''Chris:''' ''What?''
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, that's what women used to do back in- That's what mothers, friggin' nurses and stuff used to do to kids in the 1900s, is give children, like, you know, cough medicine.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Cause- cause the medicine- uh, correction, the medicine did not put them to sleep, there was a lullaby, not the cough medicine. They only had to take the cough medicine-
 '''Jack:''' No cough medicine-
 '''Chris:''' ...because it rained, before dere, and it was not, and it was to, uh-
 '''Jack:''' Rain means cough medicine doesn't have anything to do with each other. That's not how friggin' germs are spread, or colds are gotten. Colds are gotten through germs, not the rain.
 '''Troll:''' How is cough medicine any different from today's parents that just let their kids watch TV until they fall asleep? I mean, it's just as bad.
 '''Jack:''' Well- Cough medicine has a lot to do with the psychological effects of it. Obviously if you get- if you keep giving fre-
 '''Troll:''' Thanks, Samantha, that was delicious.
 '''Jack:''' What?
 '''Troll:''' It's my, uh, Samantha-
 '''Polly:''' Yeah, that's we're all saying, cause I've heard that there's a lot of different chemicals in cough medicine. You could pick up a ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' I don't even take cough medicine, because I'm not a pussy.
 '''Troll:''' Uh, so.
 '''Troll:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Anyway, I never put any references, I never did any references or plan any references to cough medicine or anything of that sort.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Well, Chris, Cassie says the last e-mail she got from you was on the 17th. How 'bout your being gay? Is that true?
 '''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' That wa- That was somebody had- That was Clyde hacking through my e-mail and spammed that to my contacts.
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, I definitely did not do that-
 '''Jack:'''You're a scoundrel-
 '''Chris:''' -a slanderous lie.
 '''Clyde:''' I did not do that.
 '''Troll:''' Whoa-whoa-whoa. Wow. Well, thanks for that. She was worried that you were- that you don't like her.
 '''Jack:''' You're a scoundrel, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't do that. That was someone else.
 '''Polly:''' I was wondering, because I've heard other news too, I was really hoping that you weren't gay.
 '''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm straight.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you. And, uh-
 '''Clyde:''' Cogs- Cogs got a way- she showed us that, okay? I mean, you only ''[unintelligible]''

===Chris's fail-riffic Spanish===

 '''Troll:''' So, Chris.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what?
 '''Troll:''' Cassie didn't get your last e-mail.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, Screwhead's from Mexico. I heard you like Spanish, so.
 '''Troll:''' Hola, Chris.
 '''Troll:''' You know Spanish, right?
 '''Chris:''' Sí. Conoso Mexico. Tomé dos años ''[unclear]'' mi escuela secundaria. (Yes, I know Mexico. I took two years [in, possibly] my secondary school.)
 '''Troll:''' Has venido en Mexico? (Have you come to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Uh, lo siento? (Uh, I'm sorry?)
 '''Troll:''' Has estado en Mexico? (Have you been to Mexico?)
 '''Chris:''' Estoy Mexico? No. (I am Mexico? No.)
 '''Troll:''' ''[slowly]'' Has estado, um, in Mexico. Has venir? (Have you been to Mexico? Have gone?)
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, no, I hav- no, no tengo pansars. ''[sic]'' (no, I don't have pansars (?))
 '''Troll:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I think, uh, I think I meant to say- I'm pretty sure-
 '''Jack:''' Did you just say you don't wear pants?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no, I was trying to say, ah, I don't have plans to go in Mexico at the moment.
 '''Troll:''' Oh, okay.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, I see.
 '''Chris:''' That's what I understood what he was saying there.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, did you know that, that 4-cent garbage website is located in Mexico?
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Jack:''' That's why-
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, that's why they can't get it shut down.
 '''Chris:''' Mm.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]'' borders, plus it's cheaper to run sites over there; they have, like, several servers.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Troll:''' Chris. Cassie wanted to talk to you, but she couldn't make it here, well, and, she wants to be your Spanish teacher, because she says that you've got room to improve your Spanish.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Oh, that Cassie. Yeah, I'm sorry, I thought you were- I got mixed up. Um... Yeah, um, I'm sorry, I, uh, I haven't talked to that- I haven't talked to Cassie in a while, but I've been mostly talking to, uh, her gal- her, uh, gal-pal and I'm sure- I'm sure she'd tell you a lot about her...

===In which the trolls discuss bar fights===

 '''Troll:''' Hey Chris, how- how does Sonichu keep Rosechu from spending more than a hundred dollars at the mall? I've always wondered how he could manage to do that. I've always had problems with that myself.
 '''Chris:''' That wa- That time at the mall, it was, uh, Kel loaned the credit card. And it's like, yeah- she gave- she gave Sonichu the responsibility of that credit card. She did.
 '''Troll:''' ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I've always given my advice on cannabis, you should do the ''[unintelligible]'', Cogs Chris, but I think she wants your response.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, one of my friends sent me this picture, and I think you might find it kinda disturbing just because they say it's proof that you're gay.
 '''Chris:''' Aw yeah, I saw that, that's just a crappy Photoshop.
 '''Jack:''' No, that one doesn't- this one doesn't look Photoshopped at all.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm not gonna look at it.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you're not? Oh.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, uh, you say you're against smoking?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. As a matter of fact, CWCville is a smoke-free, non-alcoholic city.
 '''Jack:''' ''[partially drowned out]'' That's what we call a totalitarian state...
 '''Troll:''' Oh, and, uh, in the pilot episode with Seth MacFarlane, of, you know, Family Guy? He's always smoking. What do you think about that?
 '''Clyde:''' Go smoke.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I just- I just take that with a grain of salt, and, uh, you know, that's what-
 '''Troll:''' I mean, if he can smoke, why can't anyone else? I mean, it's-
 '''Chris:''' Because it causes cancer!
 '''Jack:''' So does a lot of things.
 '''Polly:''' It could be a prop pipe.
 '''Chris:''' In any case, I'm not- in any, in any case I've never done it and I never will.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, but eating too much fast food can give you a heart attack. I mean... so many things are deadly for you.
 '''Jack:''' What about fast food, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' My father used to smoke and he went through a whole bunch of heart attacks. He suffered three-
 '''Jack:''' ''[Interrupts]'' Well, I think that might have to do more with his weight.
 '''Chris:''' He suffered through three or four triple bypasses.
 '''Cassie's Friend:'''Chris, I think that's... that's more like a weight issue.
 '''Chris:''' He has a pacemaker!
 '''Troll:'''Chris, eh...
 '''Troll:''' Hey ya guys, leave him alone. Ya know, my granddad, he smoked most of his life. He quit for 25 years and still died of lung cancer. I mean that's just the way it is. And your body never gets rid of it.
 '''Jack:''' Well yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll:'''Chris, what about ''[pause]'' Chris, what about fast food? That's- that's bad for you.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Hey Chris. Chris, could you do me a favor and send an email to Cassie? She's very worried about you.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Yeah sure, I'll send her an email later.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Okay, thanks.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, I've got uh, a certain someone you know-
 '''Chris:''' No no.
 '''Clyde:''' -she has to, uh, she wants to ask you w-
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Also, she said something about some hair.
 '''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah, that's uh... that's another issue right there. Um, hmmm. I'll talk to her about that.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, does, uh, drinking cause cancer?
 '''Chris:''' No, but it causes liver dysfunction and likely bar fights and automobile accidents.
 '''Jack:''' Wait, bar fights, but—
 '''Chris:''' Bar fights!
 '''Jack:''' -but I don't think that bar fights are that big of a problem.
 '''Troll:''' I think bar fights are awesome.
 ''[People agree bar fights are awesome]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' But bar fights are bad. I got into a bar fight once and one of my hands got cut and two fingers from my left hand. Bar fights suck.
 '''Polly:''' ''[Unintelligible]''
 '''Jack:''' Well, I think that might be more because you're Mexican. Are you sure you didn't lose them picking bo- picking grapes and- or something?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' No, Mexican people are more more- more much macho man; we get into bigger fights. We're more awesome.
 '''Jack:''' No- I think it might be because you got your hands stuck in some machinery when you were out picking in the vineyards.
 '''Troll:''' I don't know about you guys, but I like- I like having bar fights.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''

===Chris Crashes Due To Math===

 '''Clyde:''' You don't have to be drunk to be in a bar fight or in an automobile accident, right?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but they increase the likeliness of it.
 '''Clyde:''' You've been in an autobile— automobile accident, I mean, were you drunk?
 '''Chris:''' No, I was distracted.
 '''Jack:''' Uh, by what? I mean, it's kinda hard to be dist— you gotta be focused on driving man-
 '''Chris:''' I was doing math in my head.
 '''Jack:''' Wait, math in your—
 [Trolls talk over each other]
 '''Chris''': My mind got distracted by being its own calculator.
 '''Falsion''': Are you good at math?
 '''Polly:''' ''[unclear]'' Is that for school?
 '''Jack''': Are you some kind of savant?
 '''Troll''': That's impossible.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Falsion:''' Guys, you're getting ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll:''' Chris, are you like a mathematic genius or something?
 [pause]
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' You know some artist people have like superpowers in their head. They can do like geniuses and add really well. ''[interrupted briefly by Jack saying something else about savant]'' Chris you are already an artist. Do you have any like, magical powers?
 '''Troll''': Yeah, I heard autistic people are really good at math.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Well not all the stereo- some of that sounds like stereotypes.
 '''Troll:''' ''[talking over Chris]'' ...it has to do with mental ability; I mean, what's the...
 '''Chris''': I mean I don't know- I mean I'm not saying that I'm a total genius. I mean I know- I know enough to get by.
 '''Clyde:''' What's the highest level of math you've taken Chris?
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' College level.
 '''Clyde:''' No I mean like algebra, or calculus or...?
 [pause]
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I believe I just did trigonometry.
 '''Clyde:''' Very impressive.
 [long pause]
 '''Troll''': So I was wondering. When did you get the CAD degree? I figured it's like a fine arts degree or something? I mean wha-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' I designed a whole- I designed buildings and machinery and such along there. I designed the whole CWCVille shopping center.
 '''Jack:''' Why don't you have a job then?
 '''Clyde:''' Your fans would love to see that Chris.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris-
 '''Troll:''' ''[interrupts]'' -I mean use that to design like, actual buildings?
 '''Chris:''' I think I just told you i designed the CWCVille sho-
 '''Troll:''' ''[interrupts]'' I don't mean in your comic. I'm just saying-
 ''[Audio cuts]''

===Clyde Isn't Popular And Chris Should Program===

 '''Chris''': Well it's a good st-
 '''Troll:''' Chris...
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Jack''': So I heard you got some nudes up there on YouTube.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'll be putting an update on da YouTube soon, but not right now.
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking maybe you could like, you know, get a degree in game design and make the Sonichu game?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah man, it's not that hard to learn programming. C++ man.
 ''Falsion:''' Clyde, he hates you, why are you talking?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm just giving him some advice, I mean C++ is-
 '''Jack:''' ''[interrupts]'' Why are you here? We don't like you. You totally ruined Chris's life.
 '''Clyde:''' I didn't ruin his life. He ruined his own life.
 '''Troll:''' Yes you did. You've ruined his life. You raped his girlfriend.
 ''[Everyone speaks at once over each other]''
 '''Clyde:'''If he was the man he said he was, he'd have gone to Nintendo, made all that money. How- how are you going to make money now Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Time will tell.
 ''[Everyone speaks again]''
 '''Troll:'''Yeah, time will tell Clyde.
 '''Clyde:'''''[unclear]'' -need a plan, you know?
 '''Troll''': I'm just thinking uh, if- uh- would you be interested in getting a degree in game design. Making the game or something? Like if you had to?
 '''Chris''': Hm. Maybe but uh- I still have things to sort out in my real life.
 '''Troll''': Yeah it's kinda unfortunate what happened with the Nintendo thing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah- hang on a second, I'll be right back. Mm- ''[clattering]''
 '''Clyde:''' So be honest guys am I really that much of a bother. I mean...
 '''Jack''': Yeah you kind of are.
 '''Troll''': You're like a total dickfart.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll''': You realize weed causes cancer?
 '''Jack:'''Yeah.
 '''Troll''': I didn't know that.
 '''Jack:''' And it causes the munchies. You're gonna get fat, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' It's okay, man, because I work out.
 '''Jack:''' Do you play Guitar Hero standing up?
 '''Clyde:''' I play Guitar Hero while on the treadmill.
 '''Polly:'''Will the Sonichu game be a- ''[muffled]'' -or a Wii one?
 '''Jack:'''It be a Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wii would like to play.
 '''Polly:''' Oh. I only got a DS.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris, I heard you are very good at HTML. Why don't you make a HTML Sonichu game? That would be awesome.
 '''Troll:''' I don't think you can make a game in HTML.
 '''Chris:''' A- anyway I came back...
 '''Jack:''' Chris? How many courses did you have to take to get that degree in CAD?
 '''Troll:''' -pretty sure you can make a game in HTML-
 '''Chris:''' ''[speaking over]'' I'm took abo- took about two- took about two years to four years.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, if you can write HTML you can write C++, make your own games. Pretty simple man.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well it's something I'll consider.
 '''Troll:''' Clyde why are you talking to him? He hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm trying to give him some suggestions. I'm not insulting him, OK?
 '''Troll:''' HTML seems kinda outdated, so to speak.
 '''Chris:'''I learn- I took two HTML classes so at least I know how to do- at least I know the ins and outs when it comes to like, workin' on it in the raw data- in the notepad.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' So you don't use Dreamweaver?
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' I also use Net- also use Netscape composer.
 ''[Someone starts singing 'Dreamweaver']''
 '''Troll''': I heard they went bankrupt or something.
 '''Chris''': I don't- I don- I don't listen to news because I don't care about bad news.
 '''Troll''': But that's not bad news that's just safety...
 ''[Talking over each other]''
 '''Jack''': Why you gotta bring this bad vibe in here?
 '''Troll:''' OK OK I'll chill, I'm sorry it's just my wife- ''[can't hear over Chris typing extremely loud]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris you don't hear about these ones in a while. Like yesterday some guy in my town got run over by a train and he- he died. And that's a really bad thing, you know but you have to hear about it.
 '''Jack''': Yeah but that's because you're Mexican. You Mexicans always play around the train tracks, what's with you?
 [pause]
 '''Clyde:''' No come on, don't be racist.
 '''Cassie's Friend:'''It's because Mexicans are stupid. I'm surprised I can use a computer.
 '''Polly:''' ''[muffled]'' CrassCrab why do you have to be so mean?
 '''Jack:''' 'Cause my mother was raped by a Mexican. And I'm part Me- ''[muffled]''
 '''Troll:''' I'm sorry man.
 '''Polly:''' That isn't fair to take it out on every other Mexican out there.
 '''Troll:''' His rule applied to millions. Just ignore him.
 '''Jack:''' No I'm not my mother was raped by Mexicans.
 '''Clyde:''' CrassCrab I'm tired of listening to you, get out of here.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Not all Mexicans are like that we- we- I am as Mexican guy. Not all Mexican guys are- ''[drowned out by typing]''
 '''Troll''': Don't get me started on them. But that will be another day. Cause I'm sick of hearing bad news.

===Chris Types Fast (And Hates Hex-Box)===

 '''Troll:''' So Chris what are you uh- typing there?
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm typing a email.
 '''Troll''': How many words can you type? How fast can you type? Sounding fast there.
 '''Chris''': Uhhh say about uh- sorta between thirty and a hundred.
 '''Clyde:''' That's quite a good range man.
 '''Troll:''' You're like "The Flash", minus the red jump-suit.
 '''Polly:''' Oh Chris um- I was wondering- ''[unclear]'' -would it be uh a Wii game or a DS game or both. I only own DS and I don't have any money for a Wii.
 '''Chris:''' ''[overlapping]'' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wii, DS and Pla- hopefully uh- possibly uh, PlayStation 2 or 3. Never on [[Hex_Box|Hex-Box]].
 '''Troll''': When you gonna do this shit?
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Why don't you like the Hex-Box? I mean I have an Xbox, I would love to play online with you.
 '''Troll:''' I'd like to say this. Before Chris says anything about that I just wanna say that today my wife came home from the mall shopping for her usual clothes, that Gucci purse I had to buy for her. You know what she came home with? I wanted a PS3 but you know what she gave me was a frickin' Xbox 360. The Elite one? ''[someone speaks over]'' I know, I kept telling her like "Honey this isn't what I wanted. I wanted the PlayStation 3 so I can play LittleBigPlanet, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic Unleashed"
 '''Chris:''' You can put Sonic Unleashed on the Hex Box as well as Wii.
 '''Polly:''' ''[Too whiny to make out]''
 '''Troll''': So Nintendo just- rejected your offer? Cause I- I heard a rumor that there was going to be a Sonichu game or something.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris uh. Cassie wants you to send her your Wii number so she can talk to you on the Wii.
 '''Chris''': Alright uhhhhh. I'll get- have to get my Wii number now.
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Send it to her in an email please.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah they completely hate Sony. And they hate Microsoft as well. I mean this guy, Reggie? He always talks about kicking their ass and stuff. He's kinda crazy.
 '''Polly:''' I know. Reggie's very mean he never brought out ''[unclear]'' to America.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah i wanted to play that game.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[talked over]'' -I'm tellin' you guys. Reggie's just a great ''[unclear]''
 '''Polly''': Like what?
 '''Clyde:''' I can- I can't say anything OK but... you'll see.
 '''Max?:''' So Chris.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah so I don't think like if you got the deal with Nintendo I don't think they'd put it on like mu- like anything else but the Wii or DS. Yeah, cause that Reggie guy he frickin' hates Sony. And Microsoft.
 '''Jack:'''Wasn't he also the head of VH1?
 '''Polly:''' Or Pizza Hut.
 '''Troll:''' Chris. What are your favorite places to eat at?
 '''Polly:''' I remember um he ''[unclear]'' -but before that he was with Sega when Dreamcast was out.
 '''Chris:''' Yup. Let me type this email please. I mean y'all keep talking I'll just listen.
 '''Clyde:''' There's no reason to hate the Xbox. Let's be honest.
 [pause]
 '''Polly:''' Or um- Chris um- do you wanna release your game on Nintendo and on Sony. If you do talk to somebody like EA or something, you can like do um- multi-console thing like a (?) party thing.
 '''Chris:''' ''[busy typing]'' Hmm. Well it's all to think about.
 '''Polly''': I mean Sega does third party now so um-
 '''Chris''': Yeah well I'm gonna keep typing this email here. Y'all keep talking.
 ''[Sound of Chris typing]''
 '''Clyde:''' It's true, it's true.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris. Chris I wanted to tell you that Cassie's going to be here any- any second so you can talk to her.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. Hm. ''[continues typing]''
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Don't you care about her?
 '''Chris:'''''[annoyed]'' I'm typin' da email to her right now!
 '''Cassie's Friend''': Oh OK.
 '''Polly''': Yeah um 360 is pretty bad um- it red-rings all the time.
 '''Max?:'''I've had mine over two years. The same one. And it has not red-ringed yet.
 '''Jack:''' Dude you have to pay $50 just so you can play online.
 '''Chris:''' ''[echoing]'' Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Jack''': Yeah it's bullshit.
 '''Chris''': Yeah it's totally free on PlayStation. And Wii.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris. Chris. No, no, no, no, I gotta talk about this. [long pause] Chris...
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupting]'' I get less connection problems myself.
 '''Clyde:''' I can't let you get away with this Chris. You spent over $1000 on the PlayStation Network. OK? And you say you can't afford $50 for the Xbox? Terrible reason. That's a terrible reason.
 '''Polly:''' Also, um, Cogs I had a friend of mine whose red-ringed a lot of times. She did not like it at all. She got herself a PS3 instead.
 ''[Chris is STILL typing]''
 '''Jack:''' I heard that like- the PS triple eats up a lot of energy and like- has like- burned houses down. Cause it messes up the- no but the PS3 really-
 ''[More of Chris typing then audio cuts out]''
 '''Clyde:'''So when's the next comic coming out Chris?
 '''Chris''': I can't say. I don't have a date for it right now. I've been busy with the- with real life and such. You know getting the s- getting the website back up and all that.
 '''Polly''': Oh but I've been waiting so long.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I gotta tell you something Chris. ''[unclear]'' -to the trolls but I haven't done anythin' myself. It's run off into splinter groups doin' stuff to you. Ever since the Panda thing, I haven't done anything to you man. Everybody's been running round doing things. I have no control anymore. So I'm back here. This is why I'm back here. Do you understand?
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I hear you.

===Nudes On YouTube===

 '''Max?:''' Chris.
 '''Chris''': Yeah?
 '''Max?:''' So I hear you got some uh- nudes up there on YouTube.
 '''Chris''': What?
 '''Max?:'''Hear you got some nudes on YouTube.
 '''Chris:''' ''[unclear]''
 '''Max?:''' NUDES!
 '''Chris''': That's what I thought- I have nothing na- I have nothing like that on the nu- on the YouTube. I've nothing like that.
 '''Troll:''' Oh someone posted the pics form the ED page.
 '''Chris''': They're just tryin' ta get on- they're just tryin' ta get on my nerves again. But I'm not gonna let 'em.
 '''Troll''': Did you take those pictures or what? Where'd they come from?
 '''Polly''': Uh, are they Photoshopped?
 '''Chris''': Yeah most of- Yes. Most of them are Photoshopped.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris I can help you with ED. Chris I can help you with ED.
 '''Chris''': Mm. Yeah.
 '''Troll''': You can see the neck and the body doesn't quite match up.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Okay, Chris. Cassie's just arrived. She's a little nervous about talking to you, but she's gonna talk to you soon. Is that OK?
 '''Chris''': Yeah that's fine.
 '''Clyde:''' I just got one quick comment. The ED people were in contact with me, but I've lost contact with them. But I know you can delete that page permanently. I'm tryin' to help you man. You can get that page down forever. Even the entire site.
 '''Troll:''' What, after you raped uhm- Sarah?
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I'm trying to make amends. So let me do my business. All right?
 '''Troll:''' It's too late to make amends. Look what you did.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll:''' Chris.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah?
 '''Troll:''' Um. Cogsdev said she had a look at the data, they have it up in Image editing software.
 '''Other Troll:''' Oh yeah. Well...
 '''Chris''': Well I don't know what to tell you there.
 ''[Several trolls speak at once]''
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Troll''': Doesn't that mean they're real?
 '''Chris''': No, I don't think so.
 '''Troll''': You don't think so?
 '''Other Troll''': Well, did you take them?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Troll''': Then where did those pictures come from?
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, who took those?
 '''Chris''': I don't know. And I'd rather not talk about that anymore. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
 '''Troll:''' Are you lying to your fans Chris?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Troll''': We don't feel confort- we don't feel comfortable. We're big fans of your work and we don't like being lied to.
 '''Jack:''' I'd like to make a point. It might just be a doppelganger [sic].
 '''Clyde:'''Chris, you know the thing I hate most is lies. I like to spread the truth about you Chris.
 '''Troll''': You say you're honest, but you're lying to us.
 '''Chris:''' ''[clearly annoyed]'' Fine, fine. Some those pictures are real.
 '''Troll''': Some of them?
 '''Chris''': Some of them but not all of them.
 '''Jack''': Like, which ones aren't real?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'd rather not go into detail because I'd rather not look at 'em. Cause uh- ''[interrupted]''
 '''Troll:''' ''[unclear]'' -are you ashamed of it?
 '''Jack''': Do you not like to look in the mirror?
 '''Troll:'''You owe it- you owe it to your fans.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, but- yeah, but- yeah, but upon looking at those it's like ref- it's like reflecting a pe- uh p- a past moment in my life where I- I was played for the fool.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah, by the man in the pickle suit?
 '''Chris''': Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Oh that guy- I hate that guy.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah I saw- he was trolling some other people you know? So you're not alone, Chris.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he took pictures of me like that too...
 '''Chris''': Hmm.
 '''Troll''': That guy's an asshole, I hate him.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh yep.
 '''Troll''': He took pictures of my wife too. Sick bastard.
 '''Polly:''' ''[I think she says he is a peanut]''
 [pause]
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm sorry, what?
 [another pause]

===Chris Hates Harry===

 '''Chris:''' I just uh- never was fond of it. Ever since it came out, I was never fond of it. ''[unclear as troll speaks over]'' -just like I hate Harry Potter because he's s- he's goin- he's uh- in compe- was in competition against the world of Pokemon.
 '''Jack''': Well that- that doesn't make sense. But they're two different medias. Pokemon-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' Yeah but- yeah but still he-
 '''Jack''': -Harry Potter is a book.
 '''Chris''': Yeah but he poses as competition against them.
 '''Jack''': That's not really competition. I mean-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[talks over Jack]'' Oh that reminds me about books- Vivi- Vivian wrote a book and sent it to you. You never read it.
 '''Chris:''' Yes. I am afraid I- yeah, yeah- I'm uh- I've been uh- so I've been under uh- too much stress between internet and all that. I'll ge- I'll read it, I'll read it.
 '''Clyde:''' She's been waiting for your response for quite a long time.
 '''Chris''': Uh, I like the cover.
 (pause)
 '''Chris''': Nice cover.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he is right about that. That is a nice cover.
 '''Other Troll:''' Yeah the book is pretty good- I read it.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well I- I will definitely make it a point to uh- read it. Very soon.
 ''[Trolls talk over each other]''
 '''Polly:''' ''[Audible over the others]'' Did you ever read Twilight?
 '''Chris:'''I've heard th- I've heard Twilight and I've seen the trailer but I haven't seen the movie, I'll wait for it to come out DVD or Blu-ray.
 [pause]

===Random Access Humor Python Style===

 '''Polly''': Oh OK, I heard a lot of girls like Twilight.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. I see. Hey Polly does your voice sound like that, 'cause it sounds like a guy talking falsetto. I mean no personal offense.
 '''Polly''': That's not very nice...
 '''Chris''': I'm sorry. Believe me I didn't mean any pe- anything personal it's just like, you know- hm- kind- just kinda takes me by surprise a bit, that's all.
 '''Troll''': I knew a girl like that in high school.
 '''Polly:''' ''[Sounding upset]'' I can't help it if I'm born like this.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I'm- I'm- I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.
 '''Troll''': Yeah she's a girl. I saw her pics. She's a girl.
 '''Chris''': Well I'll s- I'll take his word for it. I'm sorry I cu- I accused you there.
 '''Polly''': Um. OK.
 '''Chris:''' You know, aut- I mean- let's- it's just uh- you know it's uh- you know it's uh a bit- just a spot of fun. [[Random-access_humor|Stupid humor]]. Monty Python's Flying Circus.
 '''Clyde:''' We know you love that. There's just so many references to it in the comic.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah I d- after they put all of the entire series on PlayStation Network I downloaded the Hamlet episode- that was the one that had uh- Jimmy Hill parodying himself. It also had this funny bit where it was like, you know- ''[in a stupid voice]'' "...and now it's time for The Robinsons, an everyday story about blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah. Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-duhhh-dum-de-dum"- and so on...
 ''[A troll begins to speak but is interrupted by a very high-pitched Chris]''
 '''Chris:''' "Morning Mrs. Robinson- Morning Mrs. Robinson. Comin' out shoppin'? Oh- you've been shoppin', what did you buy? What's this?-" 'What did you buy this for?'[Trolls laugh over him]'' -It was a bargain!"
 '''Troll:''' I've heard you do that before. I don't know where. Anyway uh- uhm- Whatever happened to Jimmy Hill?
 '''Chris:''' Hm. I haven't heard from him in a long time so just assuming uh- he gave up or uh-
 '''Jack:''' ''[interrupts]'' I think he got a- I think he got a, uh- children's TV program in England.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well he ain't botherin' me, so I'm not worried about him anymore.
 '''Jack:''' Ye- but he's stealing Sonichu. Bastardizing it.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah he did but uh- he s- but haven't seen any updates on his-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Talks over Chris]'' -profile, he's still doing it.
 ''[Several trolls talk over each other about him having a TV show]''

===Chris Fails At Spanish Pt. 2===

 '''Chris:''' ''[Sigh]''
 ''[Troll says something more about the TV show, but it's muffled]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Hey, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah?
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris. Cassie wants to say hi. Just forgive her English because she can't speak very well, okay?
 '''Chris:''' All right. Just sent her the email by the way, just now.
 '''Cassie:''' Hey, Chris. It's me, Cassie.
 '''Chris:''' Hi, Cassie. How are you?
 '''Cassie:''' Fine, and you?
 '''Chris:''' I'm feelin' OK.
 '''Cassie:''' Why haven't you emailed me? I was really about-was really worried about you. What's happened?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry. I be- I've bee- I've been busy with the Internet and the stress and all that. I sent ya an email just now go- it's got my Wii number in it so you can add me to your contacts. I've been talking to uh- I've been talking to Sarah lot- quite a bit lately. She's been helping me with uh- updating the Sonichu site, since I've uh- since I'm working on uh- it's re-uploading and such.
 '''Cassie:''' Kay, I believe you. I going to check ''[pronounced like 'sheg']'' it, okay?
 '''Chris:''' You're going to where?
 '''Troll:''' ''[very quietly]'' Check it.
 '''Cassie''': To check it.
 '''Chris''': To "shag-it"? Is that the-
 '''Cassie''': Check the email.
 '''Chris:''' ''[still doesn't understand]'' Oh.
 '''Cassie:''' I going to check the email.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. ''[unintelligible]''
 '''Troll:''' Check the email.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, check email. ''[Laughs]'' Yeah I'm sorry I tr- I tried to uh- understand but it just kind of messed up a little bit.
 '''Jack''': Why don- why don't you two speak in Spanish?
 '''Chris''': Uhhh. I'm not exactly fluent.
 '''Cassie:''' ¿Sabes hablar español, Chris? (Do you know how to speak Spanish?)
 '''Chris:''' Sí, hablo español. (Yes, I speak Spanish)
 '''Cassie:''' Oh. ''[pause, one of the trolls says something to her]'' Oh, eso es muy sexy. (That is very sexy.)
 '''Chris''': Ohhhh. Te gusta. Te gusta muchísimo, (You like it. You like it a lot)
 '''Cassie''': La verdad, si. (To tell you the truth, yes)
 '''Chris:''' Mmm. Me amos mis amigas muchísimas. Sons muy bueñas! (I love my friends (feminine) a lot. They are very good.) [Correction: Amo a mis amigas muchísimo. Son muy buenas.]
 '''Cassie''':Oh, eso es tan cool en español! Muy bueno! (That's so cool in Spanish! Very good)
 '''Chris''': Muy bueño (very good)
 '''Cassie''': Aha, exacto. (it is!)
 '''Chris:''' ''[Laughs]'' Okay, that's good.
 '''Cassie''': Well, I going down, okay?
 '''Chris''': Okay, you're going down- by the way, let me ask ya Cassie, do you ever- you've uh- you've actually met uh Sarah May in person, haven't you?
 '''Cassie''': Not. She's on Internet.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Okay. That's cool- but anyway uh- you got- you d- you have my Wii number, uh- you can reply the email with your Wii number and it'll be registered on the Wii network.
 '''Cassie:''' ''[very haltingly]'' Yes. So. Cool. Talk with you Chris. You are so cool.
 '''Chris:''' Heh. Uhhhh. You flatter me. Tú me flatteray. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Cassie:''' ''[Weak laugh]'' Well, see you.
 '''Chris:''' Adiós.
 '''Cassie:''' Adiós.
 '''Chris:''' ''[In his 'baby voice']'' Adiós. ''[sigh]''
 '''Cassie:''' Adiós, bebé.
 '''Chris:''' Adiós, chiquita bonita. ''[Laughs]''
 [Pause as audio cuts out]
 '''Chris:''' -it again.
 [Another pause]
 '''Clyde:''' So anyway, Chris. I've been working on Rabbichoso for a day and uh- I was just wonderin' like, it's- it's supposed to compete with the Sonichu, you know? If you weren't aware of that.
 '''Chris''': Uhhhh. I grabbed onto d- grabbed onto g I- grabbed onto the... that gist. I'm aware- I'm aware of the gist of the theory. Uh. I'm aw- I'm aware that you're- that you're tryin' to compete.
 '''Clyde:''' You know what competition does. It's drives uh- it drives consumer interest- Well that's why you know- It's great. You have to compete with high quality things. ''[muffled]''- that's why I'm trying to help. You know, compete. Just so you're aware of this, OK?
 '''Chris''': I see. -see.
 [Pause]

===Rabbichoso And Animu===

 '''Troll:''' So Chris we've been ge- been getting uh threatening images from the Pickle Man. Did you s- did you see the left?
 '''Chris:''' Uh. I've not heard from the Pickle Man in lo- in a long time.
 '''Troll''': Apparently there are multiple ones because this one is, uh, not a darkie.
 '''Chris''': Uh-huh.
 '''Troll''': It's good that they're leaving you alone now.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Jack''': Seems like they found more easier targets. Seeing as how you became [[Navy|saltier]].
 '''Chris''': Uh. You know I originally got that line- quote from an e- ep- episode of ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': From what?
 '''Chris''': ExCel Saga.
 '''Jack''': Oh, ExCel Saga. Oh, yeah, that's a good anime.
 '''Chris''': AIII I-Falazzo! (''He means [[ScotPalazzo|Il-Palazzo]]'')
 '''Troll:''' Uh, have you ever seen two animes, ''[muffled]'' and Schooldays?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I have not seen either of those. I like Steel Angel Kurumi as well.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, how much Japanese do you know?
 '''Chris''': Only a little bit. I'm not totally fluent. I can say that with all honesty.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Says something unintelligible, not quite Japanese]''
 '''Chris''': Huh?
 '''Clyde:''' Never mind, you won't understand it.
 '''Polly:''' ''[unclear] Chris-Chan. Genki desu-ka?''

===Chris Could Kill Clyde===

 '''Falsion:''' Yeah, I just wanted to say, uh, you're doing a good job, like, keeping calm even though Clyde is here. I mean u- I thought you'd be, like, more angry at him.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm being calm with you guys.
 '''Troll''': -I would have been choking him by now.
 '''Other Troll''': I'd have kicked his ass.
 '''Chris''': Preach to the choir. Pr-
 '''Troll:''' ''[interrupts]'' I'd make him choke on a pickle if it were up to me.
 '''Clyde:''' You guys can't touch me otherwise I'd kick all your asses. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Chris:''' Huh.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, bring it.
 '''Troll:''' Chris could kick Clyde's ass anytime.
 '''Clyde:''' Let's see Chris do it.
 '''Chris''': Bring it to me any day of the week and I'll definitely show him a hard- day's night.
 '''Troll''': Yeah I think you could kick his ass.
 [Trolls and Clyde talk over each other]
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Jack:''' ''[Sings]'' -been a hard day's night...
 '''Clyde:''' -never mind, just...
 '''Chris''': I mean that as a- meant that as in I would beat... him up.
 '''Troll''': Kick his ass?
 '''Chris''': I'm very strong.
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' Chris. I'm gonna see you later, OK?
 ''[Unison of goodbyes]''
 '''Cassie's Friend:''' OK see ya. Thank you so much Chris.
 '''Chris:''' ''[ignoring his fans]'' Yeah I can- I can lift about my weight.
 '''Troll:''' Like um- if Clyde were right in front of you, what would you do to him?
 '''Clyde:''' Like, what kind of style of fighting do you have?
 '''Troll:''' Hey, shut up.
 '''Clyde:''' I gotta know my competition.
 '''Chris:''' Personal- in the physical offense. ''[sigh]'' I would definitely be giving you so much physical pain.
 '''Clyde:''' That's not a s- that's not a style.
 '''Chris''': I would beat you up.
 '''Troll''': He deserves it man.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, that's still not a style...
 '''Jack:''' He uses fisticuffs. He's a gentleman. Gentleman fisticuffs.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever, I'll just see-
 '''Troll''': Stop arguing and just-
 '''Other Troll:''' ''[Over previous troll]'' I mean, if he did that to my sweetheart I'd fucking kill him.
 '''Clyde:''' Well. He's not- he's not going to come over and kill me, I know that. He doesn't have the money. [pause] You know I'm surprised that you're mad here. You're much kinder in person I thought you- Now I'm just expecting you at my door anytime, just waiting for you to stand here with an axe or something.
 '''Chris:''' Knives are too messy.
 '''Clyde:''' Ah, now a sword- sword's are usually better.
 '''Troll:''' What about poison?
 '''Clyde:''' Poison's good, poison's good.
 '''Troll:''' Clyde, what- do you want him to beat your ass?
 '''Clyde:''' No I was just expecting it, you know.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, you know what's another thing? I would definitely not tell you how I would be hurting you, but I would definitely give you a who- big amount of pain.
 '''Troll''': Oh, he's gonna keep you guessin'!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Troll''': Yeah he deserves it. After everything he's done-
 '''Clyde:''' ''[Muffled by troll]'' -going to kill me, I'd like to know.
 '''Chris:''' Uh. I'm just going to let you cover in- worry.
 '''Clyde:''' Oh so you're never going to show up, it's-
 '''Chris:''' ''[interrupts]'' Oh yes I will show up. But you just won't be expecting it.
 '''Clyde:''' You don't even know where I live, do you?
 '''Chris:''' Find out!
 '''Clyde:''' Maybe I should give you my address.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, you should track him down and kick his ass.
 '''Clyde:''' But I'm going to leave you guessing too...
 '''Troll:''' Defend Panda's h- Panda's honor.
 '''Other Troll:''' Hey Julie.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, hi Julie.
 '''Clyde:''' 'sup Julie.
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Chris:''' Hey Julie.
 ''[Everyone talks over each other]''

===Clyde's A Dick===

 '''Chris''': Yeah I notice her mic doesn't work. But still I'm just letting her know that- acknowledge her presence.
 '''Troll:''' You're doing well staying calm even though Clyde's here.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, Clyde's a total dick.
 '''Chris''': Yep.
 '''Troll''': Fucker.
 ''[Rustling]''
 '''Troll''': I mean, he's taken over everything. The IRC. This. I can't- no one can stop him.
 '''Clyde:''' ''[muffled]'' -over there, so...
 '''Female Troll''': I- I like Rabbichoso.
 '''Clyde:''' Of course you do. ''[Laughs]''
 '''Female Troll''': It's funny.
 '''Chris''': I will not offer any new comment on it.
 '''Clyde:''' Well, OK.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, when can we expect the next Sonichu to be released.
 '''Troll''': Yeah, we've been eager.
 '''Chris''': It'll be soon. It will be soon.
 '''Troll:''' Yeah just ignore Clyde man.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean if you're going to put a hard date on it, you'd better deliver your promise. If you don't, I'll strike harder. That's all I'm saying.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. You're saying if I don't set a date, you're gonna...
 '''Clyde:''' No, no. I'm saying don't make promises you can't keep. Don't make promises you can't keep.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Troll''': He'll choke you with his medallion bitch!
 ''' Other Troll''': Yeah, who the hell do you think you are?
 '''Clyde:''' I agree with Cogs over there. Maybe you should do just a page a day, not release all at once. Keep his-
 '''Troll:''' ''[interrupts]'' Why are you telling him this when he hates you?
 '''Clyde:''' I'm giving him suggestions man, OK? OK?
 '''Troll''': Only thing he's gonna suggest to you is 'shut the fuck up'!
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah, seriously man.
 '''Chris''': It's alright.
 (pause)
 '''Troll:''' Penny Arcade's slow.
 '''Polly:''' Oh you mean like Penny Arcade or ''[unclear]'' or MegaTokyo?
 '''Troll''': Yeah they're just like- boring. Then they because sellouts.

===Chris's Country Cookin===

 '''Other Troll:''' Chris, where's your favorite place to eat?
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Can't really say uh- but I like country cookin'.
 '''Troll''': Oh yeah?
 '''Other Troll''': What's country cooking?
 '''Chris''': Uh no G's in the sto- no G's in the name by the way, no G.
 '''Troll''': Yeah what's country cooking? I'm not familiar with that.
 '''Chris:''' It's like uh- som- something like Golden Corral.
 '''Jack:''' But Golden Corral is a national franchise.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Polly:''' Uh Chris, how are your parents?
 '''Chris:''' They're OK.
 '''Polly:''' Oh OK.
 [Long pause]

===Sex Is Shit===

 '''Clyde:''' Chris I've got a sug- another suggestion. Now be quiet all of you cause I know you hate me. Just-
 '''Troll:''' No, Chris hates you.
 '''Clyde:''' Well don't defend him. He can defend himself OK? He's a man. But whatever-
 '''Chris:''' Let him speak.
 '''Clyde:''' I'm suggesting that- you go on and on about this sex stuff but you've never gotten laid, have you?
 '''Chris:''' I like to put myself in the imaginative situation that I'd like to be in and the sexual stimulation. So I can be ready for [[ego|myself]] for when I do actually have my first time.
 '''Clyde:''' Well my first time was- I'll just say that it's terrible, OK? I didn't know what I was doing, she didn't know-
 '''Chris:''' Let me guess, you prematurely ejaculated?
 '''Clyde:''' No, no, no, it's not like that you don't know what to do. Every woman's told me OK? You can't prepare-
 '''Troll:''' ''[Talks over Clyde]'' First time's always awkward...
 '''Clyde:''' -I learnt that mistake a while back, OK whatever. OK, you just- you can't prepare for your first time. You might as well just have a really bad first time so you learn from your mistakes.
 '''Troll:''' I'm not trying to defend Clyde or anything, but yeah it's kinda true.
 '''Clyde:''' Hmm.
 '''Troll:''' The girl I first fell in love with is the girl I'm married to right now. Samantha just changed my world. But marriage does get boring.

===Chris's Tips To STAY STRAIGHT===

 '''Troll:''' Chris, I know how you say how important it is to stay straight, um- I'm having trouble staying straight, do you have any suggestions?
 '''Chris''': Watch a bunch of pornography with uh- with naked women. OK, a lot of naked women.
 '''Troll''': That happened to me one time...
 '''Falsion:''' Chris, I have this friend I play video games with, is that gay? He's male by the way.
 '''Chris''': Sorry could you- I'm sorry could you repeat that?
 '''Falsion''': I have this guy I'm friends with he always comes over to my house to play video games. Is that gay? I'm kinda scared. You know? I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Chris:''' Hm. Hmm. Is he making any advances towards you? Personally.
 '''Falsion''': I dunno how to tell.
 '''Chris''': Like uh sit- does he always sit next to you when he's playing games. Playing video games.
 '''Falsion''': Yeah he usually does.
 '''Chris''': Hmm. I see. Hmm. My- well- my suggestion in that case, would be to keep a heavy distance between you and that guy.
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he meant anything gay by it though.
 '''Chris''': Sorry, what?
 '''Falsion''': I don't think he means anything like- gay about it.
 '''Chris''': Well, still- it's always best to find out- you can ask him. Don't be afraid to ask him.
 '''Falsion''': What would you do in this situation?
 '''Chris''': Well if he said yes then I would uh- basically- let me think about that a moment.
 '''Falsion''': Do you have any friends who're are like, guys?
 '''Chris''': Only acquaintances and only a few of them.
 '''Falsion''': Do you play video games with people or anything? Do they come over to your house?
 '''Chris:''' No. No.
 '''Polly:''' Um, I remember-
 '''Falsion:''' ''[Cuts Polly off]'' I'm just worried I might be gay or something. I don't wanna be gay.
 '''Jack:''' You probably are Falsion, but that's OK. No, look dude.
 '''Chris''': Leave him alone! Leave him alone! He's straight!
 '''Jack''': Why?
 '''Troll''': Hey, let's have a calm conversation here. Let's not have any fights.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah.
 ''[Trolls speak over each other]''
 '''Troll''': I've been reading the Sonichu comics and man, they are page-turners! Seri- I was on- I was on the edge of my seat for a while. I ju- I couldn't- I couldn't- you know. Just had to read and read.
 '''Chris''': Hm. Thank you.
 '''Falsion:''' Chris, can I be your friend? I know I'm a guy. I don't mean anything gay by it. Can I be your friend?
 '''Chris''': Mm. I dunno.

===A Wild Snorlax Appears===

 '''Barbara:''' Do you want any hotdogs?
 '''Chris''': No, I'm OK.
 '''Falsion''': No?
 '''Chris''': I was talking with my mother.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I was wondering if I could be your friend.
 '''Chris''': Oh. Mmm.
 '''Falsion''': Oh. I h- heard you only like, you only like to be acquaintances. With guys.
 '''Chris''': Yeah, ummm. Let's just pretty much leave it at acquaintance.
 '''Jack:''' Hello Mrs. Chandler.
 '''Chris''': She can't hear you, I'm wearing my earphones.
 '''Falsion''': Listen, I'm not gay. I don't- you know- yeah. Nevermind.
 '''Chris''': Yeah I mean- I mea- I-
 '''Clyde:''' What do you have against gay people? I'm serious to hear this.
 '''Chris:''' It's just unnatural and it's against God's will.
 '''Clyde:''' I mean, it's not like it's a choice. You can't change who you are like- you're a creative guy but I mean they're just gay. They can't change that.
 '''Chris:''' I'm just answering a few questions mother.
 '''Barbara:''' You don't have to answer. Nobody's payin' you to do that.
 '''Jack''': Yes they are.
 ''[shuffling sounds, clanging]''
 '''Barbara:''' It ain't none of their business no-way.
 '''Chris:''' Hm.
 '''Barbara:''' I wouldn't be asked questions like that by employers or anybody. Don't tell people what you d- what you think. Keep that to yourself.
 '''Troll:''' Chris what's hap- what's happening?
 '''Chris:''' Well, obviously, my mother is offering her input.
 '''Jack:''' Tell her you're just talking to some friends.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[muffled]'' I don't need no back talk from somebody on the other end of the phone.
 '''Chris:''' I hear you, Mom. Hmm. Hmm.
 ''[scraping sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''' These- these idiots don't have any brains or- they don't have any idea this way or that.
 ''[more banging, clanging and tumbling sounds. Sounds like washing up]''
 '''Troll:''' Is right now a bad time right now? I mean-
 '''Chris:''' Pixelblocks, Pixelblocks!
 '''Jack:''' Someone's saying "Pixelblocks."
 '''Troll:''' Chris, are you saying [[Pixelblocks]]?
 '''Chris:''' ''[Laughs]''
 ''[Chris's mom has been singing]''
 '''Jack:''' Your mother has a beautiful singing voice, Chris.
 [Audio cuts]
 '''Barbara:''' ''[Audio cuts back in]'' -all the anxiety, causing you stress.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well sometimes they don't; they can be peaceful.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, your mom and dad get the crappy end of the stick.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, a lot of us do.
 ''[more clattering sounds]''
 '''Barbara:''' Yeah, just like this nasty mess over here that you guys left that I got to clean up.
 '''Chris:''' Mm. ''[Audio cuts]'' -Yeah, I took care of my bills. I mean, not completely, but I took care of them.
 '''Troll:''' What about going to, uh, Redmond?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten:'''We! (Wii?)
 [unintelligible, windows beeps]
 '''Troll:''' ''[laughing]'' Yeah, sweetheart pool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten:''' Mmhmm. ''[laughing]'' Like the other side of the pillow.
 ''[someone sighing. Clanging noises return after short absence]''
 '''Clyde:''' ''[unclear]'' ...is all, I mean, living with your parents is okay bad-in today's bad economy, but at 26, come on.
 '''Troll:''' Shut up, you.
 '''Clyde:''' Now, I'm being nice.
 '''Troll:''' Clyde isn't so bad a guy. He does bad things, but he's pretty cool.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten:''' Yeah he's reformed. He's seen the error- Yeah.
 '''Troll:''' How- how could he do that to Sarah? I mean- That's not right.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten:''' Yeah. Well, that's like Luke... That's like Luke and Laura from General Hospital. I know that's like, before y'all's time, but, um... Luke was a rapist and she-he raped Laura and then, like, a few months later they get married. So... ''[Laughs]''
 '''Polly:''' Yeah, I believe Clyde was trying to make amends from his past actions.
 '''Falsion:''' Yeah, but Chris, can you uh- can you forgive him?
 '''Random Troll:''' ''[whispering]'' White whale, holy grail!
 '''Troll:''' Can you forgive a small-dicked Asian? Just a thought.
 '''Jack:''' He's not Asian!
 '''Clyde:''' I'm half-Asian, okay? My parents ''[unclear]'' I don't really wanna go into it. It's too bo-boring for you people. But this is why I ''[unclear]''.
 '''Troll:''' Chris, are you there? Just makin' sure, buddy.
 ''[clattering]''
 '''Troll''': Move out.
 '''Another Troll''': Well, how do I do that?
 '''Troll''': What?
 '''Chris:''' Hi there, my kitty. ''[In baby voice]'' Yes, there's a pretty kitty.
 ''[Someone speaking with a voice-synth]''
 '''Troll:''' Hang on a second. I've got, like, a thousand different... Oh, Crass, why'd you do that?
 '''Jack''': Because. You can unban him but, yeah. I'm not gonna friggin' stand for that.
 ''[Sound of a vacuum cleaner]''
 '''Jack''': I (m j d?) do that.
 '''Troll''': I heard the "g" word.
 '''Polly''': Um, is that a vacuum cleaner?
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Yeah, sounds like it is.
 [Trolls speak but are drowned out by vacuum]''
 '''Clyde:''' ...room or something.
 '''Polly:''' I think the vacuum cleaner...
 '''Clyde:''' If that's the government trying to do some kind of thing, then my name's Rusty Shackleford.
 '''Troll:''' Oh.
 '''Polly''': Oh, okay.
 '''Troll''': That's a loud fan.
 '''Other Troll''': I have a fan above my stove, too.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten''': Hey... I do, too.
 '''Clyde:''' Wait- wha- wait. You-you-you're in the kitchen?
 '''Troll''': Me too.
 ''[possibly Sonic game sound effects]''
 '''Max:''' Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Mmhm? Mm.
 '''Max:''' I'm pretty sure it's already asked, but I didn't catch the answer. When can we expect the next Sonichu comic?
 '''Clyde:''' I-I-I told you my suggestion of releasing a page a day or something. I mean, it's a pretty good one. It-it-it allows for a good time. Finish a page a day. You upload it. You know? It's very good. Works very well.
 ''[Barbara singing]''
 '''Polly:''' Uh. I mean- you guys keep asking when he's going to finish it but I wonder how many pages are going to be in the new one?
 '''Clyde:''' The last one was like, thirty. Just release it over the span of a month. Works fine.
 '''Troll:''' ...go up to ninety thousand...
 '''Clyde:''' ''[mutters something]''
 ''[Sound of Barbara singing]''
 '''Barbara:''' Down by the river...side.
 '''Jack:''' Your mother has a beautiful voice, Chris.
 ''[clattering, typing]''
 '''Barbara:''' ''[unclear, repeating the same two phrases]'' Gone down by the river, down by the water side, down by the riverside. Down by the waterside. Down by the riverside.
 '''Polly:''' I remember ''[unclear]''
 ''[Audio cuts]''
 '''Troll:''' -I'm hungry myself.
 ''[some kind of alarm sounding]''
 '''Max:''' Then go eat.
 '''Troll:''' No, you.
 '''Max:''' I already ate.

===Anime And Shit===

 '''Polly:''' I wonder what anime Chris watches nowadays. There's not many on television but do you still watch Japanese cartoons?
 '''Troll:''' ''[In a bad accent]'' Kawaii desu ne.
 '''Other Troll:''' I want to watch Shuffle. He said it was very good. He said it was sad. I don't know if I wanna watch- I don't like sad stuff. I like to be happy when I watch anime.
 '''Polly:''' Oh, and um, do you watch stuff like Bleach and um Code Geass or Naruto or something?
 ''[Pause]''
 '''Other Troll:''' I'm glad to hear that Shuffle isn't sad. I'm definitely going to watch it sometime.
 '''Troll:''' Um, yeah Chris that was a good call on Naruto.
 '''Other Troll:''' Yeah there's a lot of people who don't like it much either. Too popular.
 '''Troll:''' But please. Please. Hope. ''[audio cuts out briefly]'' Uh, Chris, please consider When They Cry.
 '''Other Troll''': Ooh, I saw that one. It was a really good series.
 '''Troll''': Oh, I know; that was good, like-
 '''Other Troll''': Yeah. Both seasons of it.
 ''[Windows beeps, voices overlapping]''
 '''Troll:''' I could link you to Season One if you want. Yeah, Samantha got me into that.
 '''Other Troll:'''...you'll give it a try, Chris. It's a very, very good series.
 '''Arjen Van Dierten:''' Hm. Hey, Julie. How are you?
 '''Other Troll:''' ...lots of ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': Watch Shuffle. You got the six episodes of Shuffle or... Which o- which anime? I'm sorry.
 '''Troll''': Oh and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is also cool.
 '''Polly:''' I really liked JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Very ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll:''' Za warudo!
 '''Troll:''' Oh yeah, I think Shuffle is quite all right. I like Heidi. She's sweet and loyal.
 '''Other Troll:''' That's a good one. One of my favorites is Black Lagoon.
 '''Polly:''' Um, is that the one with the blue girl?
 ''[Trolls talk over each other about different anime]''
 '''Troll:''' Hey, uh, Chris can I, my, uh, I don't know if it's all right, but, like, could you like, give me an email sometime? I could, uh... recommend you to... this anime that... Polly and... Julie like to watch. They're quite- they... Oh, C-and Cogs has recommended such great anime.
 '''Chris:''' ''[talking to his mother]'' Yeah? That's ''[unclear]''
 '''Troll''': As well as Julie-Julie's the person that got me into anime.

===People Love Poketunes===

 '''Chris:''' -we can go into this later cause I got my headphones on. And, Mom, you know what something else? They liked your singing.
 '''Barbara:''' What? I don't sing.
 '''Chris:''' You just did!
 '''Barbara:''' That's my laugh; that's my laugh. They couldn't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' They heard you. Singin'. Just now.
 '''Barbara:''' I can't sing!
 '''Chris:''' You just did!
 '''Barbara:''' I'm tone deaf.
 '''Chris:''' They just heard you singing, and liked your voice.
 '''Barbara:''' Okay. Did you write checks for all those bills and pack everything ''[unclear]''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Yes, Mother, I did.
 '''Barbara:''' You're not telling me no story?
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not telling you no story.
 '''Barbara:''' OK. It's important [''inaudible''] did you pay them?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I paid that one.
 '''Barbara:''' Okay, you have to be honest with me, 'cause, see, you're settin'...
 '''Chris:''' I'm being honest, I'm being honest.
 '''Barbara:''' How you respond to what [we] talk about. You say you ought to something and you don't do it then that's gonna change my ideas ''[unclear]''.
 '''Chris:''' Okay... I'll be sure to pay the remaining differences next month.
 '''Barbara:''' No, this month.
 '''Chris:''' I know but I couldn't pay them all with 90 dollars so there's still some left ''[sound cuts]'' ...oh, you're cooking them up here, okay, that's why you turned the fan on over the stove.
 [Audio cuts]
 ''[Trolls rejoice and mock Momma Chandler]''

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 1|Mumble Chat 1]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]|}}

==See also==
*[[Spanish]]
==Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?mtnztmniomk Download]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

CWCki:Policy

2010-10-05T21:54:06Z

CrassCrab: Double post.

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== everything i say is important so it goes on top also purging the CWCki ==

I'm honestly tired of the resources being used on the CWCki for stupid bullshit like talk pages and user pages and fan works and speculation and etc. I'm sick of both the time spent on that and the ACTUAL resources. I've been trying to solve this god damn internal 500 server error and I'm fairly sure it has to do with the large amount of stupid pages and stupid edits that have been made over the years (this is sad, YEARS)

So stop spending time on the CWCki doing bullshit like making shitty templates denoted you are a cool guy or making a stupid sonichu troll art that's really neat and all and start working on actual stupid bullshit like mumble chats or something. at least that'll entertain more people than all this other shit people have been doing. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:48, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

== Purging histories. ==

At some point, I think we will need to purge the histories of high-edit count articles. I know that's against wiki standards, but I'm up to solving this 500 internal server error once and for all. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:48, 14 August 2010 (PDT)

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
***This site is for things that have trolled Chris, so we should absolutely keep them. However, I notice that lots of things that don't fit those guidelines have survived the purge. Why? --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 15:22, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

* To avoid altercations like this, I would delete the index entirely. Simply put, there are other, far more suitable venues to put this, so you won't ever have to lapse into offended rage, or conversely, argue with trolls sticking their 'n***** noses' in your business. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Guys===
The admins are at liberty to delete whatever the fuck they don't like. It just so happens they don't like torture porn involving Sonees and Roseys and comics intended to piss Chris off a la Asperchu. I know Asperchu gave you all hope for your fan comics and getting into the annals of troll history, but Asperchu happened because until then no one had attempted anything like it. The way to get into troll history is not to follow in the footsteps of more famous trolls, but to find areas of Chris's psyche no one has prodded before and poke the shit out of them until you get an angry YouTube video. If you really really REALLY still want your fics visible on the internet, make your own Sonichu site for fanworks or join a preexisting one, such as [http://caferosechu.110mb.com/index.html Cafe Rosechu] (which is run by the girl who made Capering Berries). ... As for the underage guro, fucking stop. That's disgusting. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 22:09, 17 July 2010 (UTC)
* What he said. --[[User:Inos|Inos]] 07:58, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

===Looks like you missed something===
Both the [http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/Category:Fear_and_Loathing_in_CWCville|category] and [[Fan talk:Fear and Loathing in CWCville|talk page]] for my crap remains, as well as all the pages I uploaded. I'll take care of it... if someone can tell me how to delete pages. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:37, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with the statement about NPOV. When i edit articles that's usually what I'm going for. The CWCville article was ridiculous and full of shit that just wasn't the case, as are a great many articles. People making jokes and idle speculation at the expense of reality.

So kids, keep the memes out, and if a facet of Chris' mind or life is an unknown leave it that way instead of inserting your own idle speculation. We're here to document the real CWC (and related fictions about CWC created by the real CWC), not to create our own CWC. [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 00:15, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*I've been thinking that maybe the best solution at this point would be to prohibit any discussion of matters unrelated to Chris and the CWCki, even on your own user page. Thus, many of the members who had been harassed or whatever in the past would probably have never been targeted in the first place. Granted, I would prefer if we didn't have to limit the users right to say what they want, and it would certainly be a pain in the ass to enforce,but could potentially prevent most if not all of the harassment issues. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 21:47, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, given that I know Wikipedia has basic rules about user pages, namely it's used to discuss one's contributions to Wikipedia and nothing more. Good thinking.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:18, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
*It might also help if suggesting that we resolve a bureaucratic issue without resulting to namecalling [[User_talk:DrShoggoth|didn't result in vague threats.]] --[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 22:03, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
**agreed. I'm not exactly the biggest contributor on here, but even I've seen Delabonte threatening others for asking him to be a bit less abrasive in his messages, asking why exactly they were in trouble for something, or even not sharing the same opinion as him. Why does this guy get away with it? Also, I don't care if he's "respected by Cogs" as has been said, that doesn't mean he should be allowed to abuse his position, spam angry templates on other people's accounts just because he doesn't like them, and generally treat everyone else like shit. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:03, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I agree on this policy. This kind of harassment brings down CWCki's appearance in a whole. It makes us look less like a reputable source on an autistic manchild and more like a restricted community of threatening rep destruction and overenforced rules. There is no need to attack innocents just for casual talk or for living certain lifestyles, it's just plain wrong in general. Delabonte is just a person who feels privileged and like he needs to point out things about people and act like he needs to be a Jr. Mod of sorts. To be frank, this is annoying and just rude. I'm a member of many places, but never once have I done anything like go out and go "OH NO THAT'S NOT FOLLOWING '''MY''' RULES TEMPLATE ''TEMPLATE'' ''' ''TEMPLATE'' '''!" and not a lot of people here have before. It's inappropriate, immature and quite low IQed. So, in conclusion, and tl;dr: Agree with idea, down with empty threated non-mod steam-filled members. --[[User:Eniggy|Sen. John Eniggy, finishing opening statements for case on the Congressional floor]] 04:48, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Not to be a jackass or anything, but try and keep in mind where you are. This is a website dedicated to trolling an autistic manchild. Many of the people here are involved with other trolling operations and such. Lots of trolls like to target furrys. By ousting yourself as a furry here you're essentially making yourself a black man at a Ku Klux Klan rally. Not saying that all of this harassment should have occurred, but it certainly wasn't unforeseeable to the victims. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:36, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*ThatMan has nailed why Delabonte and others feel warranted in acting like they do and this is pretty much the justification for some of Cog's and Clyde's actions here. Remember, this is a critical site of Chris, essentially out to troll him, and so you're not going to be attracting the same sort of people to edit as say, Wikipedia. I can talk to Delabonte about shit.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:09, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Actually, I'm not a furry (they scare me, to be quite honest- I'd sooner run through traffic and fling myself off a highway bridge than be one) but the point here, as shown by your post is, is about the exploits of Chris and the trolls who have trolled him, not a place for people to use trolling to vent their anger upon here. I don't support weeabooism, but I also don't support using CWCki as a stress ball. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:47, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree. Also, Chris is a particularly bad furry, so bashing them is arguably part of our mission. We shouldn't get carried away, but I don't think anybody would object to the occasional snippy comment. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 21:43, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

== User pages for banned users ==

Anyone opposed to not having user pages for banned users? Seems to be taking up space and seems sorta silly. I once said something along the lines of "To serve an example" or something but now I think it's just a waste of space. Anyone opposed to deleting user pages of permanently banned user? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:51, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:No objections here. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 23:59, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:Depends on the user. I see no problem in deleting some of IBAGeneva's accounts, but we should keep a couple of examples (maybe between five and ten?).--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] forgot to sign
:I would agree that we should just delete their pages so as to not waste space, but is there any way we could possibly mark that they were banned when their signature is shown on talk pages and stuff like that? I just feel like this would help prevent any potential confusion between users who are banned and users who don't have user pages. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:00, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*A short page about wby they were banned sounds good. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:25, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
::That actually gives me a better idea, maybe their could be a page of banned users, with notes showing the reason for why they were banned. When a user is banned, their userpage could just be a redirect to this page.--[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:20, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:::fuck what I was about to say, the best balance between saving space and giving good examples of what not to do would probably be to do what ThatMan suggested. ThatMan, you have done a great service for the operation of the CWCki. I salute you, good sir. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 05:22, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*Well that settles it. People, you have 24 hours to make a page (in the CWCki namespace) with a list of banned users and their rationale. In 24 hours, I will delete all the banned user userpages.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I'll do what I can. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 11:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*My lord, it is [[CWCki:Banned_Users|done.]] --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:28, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==

I think the usage of them is getting a bit out of control.

As I see it:
# unless you have a very convincing reason why a userbox should be on the main namespace, it really should be on a user's subpage.
# we get rid of some of the categories of of userboxes - it's handy to know which CWCki users are also PVCC members, it's not quite as important to know which CWCki users practice martial arts.

Thoughts? Any justifications why we should keep userboxes as they are? Personally I'm tempted to say that we should make user boxes as part of one's user subpage or at least remove the categories for most of these.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:17, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:I think they need to be culled. Specifically, the ones that don't have anything to do with Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:37, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
::Either way is fine. They're not exactly a big part of the site. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:18, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:Sorry about that. I'll keep my own userbox whoring under control. Just thought I was [[fail|being clever]] at making more Chris jokes. (Keep in mind that I didn't add all those userboxes indicating race/gender/and religion, though I did modify the one for my own race.
:But I think the "Armchair psychologist" could be kept for some practical use, like a <s>barnstar</s> award for those who have contributed much analysis of Chris's mindset. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 16:57, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
::I just want to say here that armchair psychologists are not why we are here. We are here to document Chris, not theorise on his mindset. That stuff is okay in tiny doses but if you plan on doing it so often that you want a box for it, go to [[/cwc/]].--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:58, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:I think Nationality might be useful, if only to establish about what time said user would be active. But stuff like cats, or naive, etc. have no practical use. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:54, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Why not just have time zone stamps then? Honestly I've thought that these userboxes were stupid for a while, glad to see I'm not alone in that. Honestly only a select few of them really seem necessary. Other than ones related to staff positions held by certain members and perhaps something useful such as what Bill Lumberg brought up, none of them really serve any meaningful purpose. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 00:31, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Obviously not all of them have to be useful, as some of them are just fun and a way to encourage people to edit the CWCki. A time zone stamp would be good, though the nationality userboxes tend to be more flavorful (i.e. it's funnier to say something about the fact you're an American than you live in GMT -5). Some could in theory be useful - if you're a drawfag, then people can ask you to draw stuff for articles and whatnot.
::::Problem people are having is that people are getting carried away - do people really need to know you're a Zoroastiarian? Do people need to know you're a weaboo who's into manga moreso than anime? I think in general, we need to work on making pages, in the style of Wikipedia, serve as a way of describing one's contributions ''to the CWCki,'' not just a "about yourself" page.
::::There's nothing wrong with the userboxes, like I said, it's people getting carried away is what seems to be troubling.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:08, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::So where do we draw the line? I think that's the real problem; there's no set limit to what the userboxes should be for. Having "flavorful" userboxes tends to be a gray area that needs some definition. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:18, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
* It should be pretty simple: keep the nationality boxes, Warrior, Observer, and the like, and the awards. We don't need to know if you're straight or gay or if you're Christian or atheist. We just need where you're from, and what you're doing here. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:10, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

==Fuckwit Alert template ==

I propose we remove the Fuckwit Alert userbox or whatever it's called. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:24, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I am happy to do the removing myself--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:29, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
::Sounds like a good idea, go for it [[User:Notslowpoke|Notslowpoke]] 03:22, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
::Ronichu, you can't remove shit here. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:46, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Correct. Neither can you. I'd just like to politely point out that '''you are not a mod here'''. I think it's high time you were either directly promoted to be one so you have a badge to go with that attitude (at which point you '''can''' cast down proclamations from on-high with righteous fury) or '''learn to accept that you are not a mod here''' and act accordingly. I'm not fussed either way. The overwhelming consensus from users (and some people who '''are''' mods), irrespective of if they have that userbox or not, seems to be that it should go. So unless an '''actual CWCki mod''' steps in and says not to, in a few days I'll start removing the userboxes from user pages. If you re-add it, it's page vandalism and will be treated accordingly (reverted). I have little patience for wanna-be mods acting like their big brother is the sheriff so they can just do what they please. This isn't PVCC, it isn't ED, it isn't a place for you to do whoever the fuck you want and go around posturing, making vague threats and acting like you own the place. '''You don't. Cogs does.''' If she wants you to to have unlimited power, she has that ability to grant it to you; if she grants it to you, all well and good. Then it's official. Her website, her decision. But until then the CWCki is ONLY about documenting and discussing Chris (and occasionally peripheral other stuff). So either get on with with the [[Chris|task at hand]], or get promoted and make your inane desires official policy, or go back to EDF/PVCC where you can be lord of all creation or whatever the fuck. PVCC and the CWCki have different mods and this is by design. TL;DR so either officially become a mod or '''shut up''' and behave yourself. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:39, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
{{Quote|It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users.|Champthom, on this very page.}}
Now obviously I'm not a admin or a Jerkop or PVCC or anything, but it seems to me that the fuckwit alert template causes way more problems than it solves.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:13, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*It's very tedious for me when furries who have barely been here for six months act like they own the place and presume what Cogs does or doesn't think. I think what bothers you here is the fact although we are presumably "equals" (lol) I did something you never could, and excercised power you don't have. As has been pointed out before, I am just fufilling the wishes of the PVCC. May I remind you Cogs okayed the template and it hasn't been an issue until you brought it up now? If Cogs says take it down (and she might), well, then the template should be taken down. Until there they remain as a reminder for certain furries (who want to be big elite trolls) to back off a certain user. Go back to doing [[Sydney Contacts|piss poor imitations of women]], Ronichu. The only person making a big deal of this are those who have fallen under my hawk-like gaze. My mind is closed on the matter. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:41, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
**I'd like to point a few things out. First off, you've made 952 edits to this wiki in your 15-odd months here. That's 1.8 edits per day. Ronichu has made 842 edits in 6.5-ish months, which is 4.2 edits per day. Ronichu is known for devoting hours to transcriptions. You are well known for plastering the wiki with "Not a Forum" templates. I wouldn't overstate your influence here. While you may have done something which is vaguely useful at some point in the past, Ronichu has done far more for this wiki than you have and even Champ is getting fed up with your antics. Ronichu made a good point and I suggest you get off your high horse and learn something. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:02, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
***And I just want someone to explain to me what the fuck I did wrong to get the template, and why i'm also the target of all these vauge threats. I didn't even touch that "certain user". Check the entire page history; I've done jack shit to interfere. What is my crime, and at what point did I try to be a "big elite troll"? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:53, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*You probably got it because you [http://cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Coffee_Place&oldid=101640 posted on the Coffee Place talk page.] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 18:14, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
::::So? I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that I got this template for those two sentences. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:38, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

===Why I've banned Delabonte===
Delabonte '''was''' a good user. He's edited a lot and contributed to the CWCki. However, after receiving warnings on the CWCki and a PVCC thread discussing the CWCki, he continues to spend most of his time on the CWCki harassing users and enforcing arbitrary rules. Yes, some of you did do stupid stuff. However, telling them that they're "under watch" and whatnot is no way to do it. Cogs in the PVCC thread conceded that Delabonte went "too far" in some regards and others accused him of taking the CWCki more seriously than I do. I do take the CWCki seriously but I find that setting low but reasonable expectations of users leads to less frustration on my part.

People, some words of wisdom:
# read between the lines of what I or someone like Cogs or Clyde says, as it'll clue you into things.

# don't contact Chris or anyone you think might be Chris. Yes, I hate to break it to you but you're probably not going to get through and if you do you're going to piss people off. As I've discussed with Ronichu before, you can contribute to trolling Chris in a lot of different ways than trolling him directly. As he aptly put it, it's like the Air Force - only a tiny percentage of the Air Force actually flies planes, the rest are support. If it's any consolation, I've never directly trolled Chris (well, there was an IRC chat but that was one small instance) and I probably won't.

#try to contribute to CWCki. I do not mean to offend anyone by saying this, but please don't use CWCki as any of the following (not inclusive): a place to plug your fan work and not contribute anything else, a place to "express yourself", a place to attempt to troll Chris, a place to create drama, etc.

#rules are not always absolute on the CWCki. Cogs and Clyde have very different admining styles than I do. As I've said before, this is ultimately Cog's site so she gets to do what she wants and I really can't stop her and sometimes she does things that go against general policy. However, the nice thing about not having absolute rules is that they're flexible when they need to be. In any case, don't cite things I say when someone is being an ass because if they're being an ass, they probably don't give a shit about what I said a few months ago. Tell them why they're being an ass, how being an ass is not helping their cause, and that they should stop being an ass and you'll be getting farther along without creating drama.

You'll avoid pissing people like Delabonte off if you manage to follow these rules. If you have questions about stuff, feel free to ask people in IRC or contact me. In general, the adage of "LURK MOAR" holds true.

Delabonte is only banned for six months. Originally I planned for a year but I think six months is more sufficient. Hopefully he will use this break to reflect on things.

His general concern about the quality of CWCki editors is valid and his zeal in trolling Chris can be appreciated on some level, but his tactics of going about it have no place here. So yeah, let's cut this drama and get back to editing the CWCki. Time I spent writing this could have gone to something more worthwhile, like helping [[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] transcribe some Mumble chats.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:37, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

:Thank you for this and everything else. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 02:55, 5 August 2010 (PDT)

==Hey faggots==
If we are all done arguing about templates and about who put one where and what not, there's a few long overdue transcriptions and shit that could be worked on. Quit being a bunch of drama queens, all of you. I don't give a shit how many edits you have, what you have produced or who fucking hates who. Take my fucking advice and work on community projects or your own projects and ditch that whole wall of text above. If any of you in the above section keep it up, I can guarantee that someone at the top is going to come along and yell at this shitload of faggotry. We need all of you here doing stuff.

Let me rephrase that slightly: we need all of you here doing something less dramatic and more helpful. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 20:25, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:I completely agree. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:30, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
::Sounds like a plan.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:35, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

== Feeding the trolls ==

To formalize this, feeding the trolls and vandals is strongly discouraged. Anyone who taunts, insults, etc. a troll no matter how much they really deserve it will be warned first, then banned temporarily on the second offense. Multiple offenses will be dealt with longer bannings. Just as a warning. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:05, 12 September 2010 (PDT)

==User talk pages==

I've been noticing [[user:Eniggy|quite]] [[User:Pfargtl9000| a few]] of you have been leaving unneeded messages on the talk pages of other users. While not a flagrant violation of CWCki rules, it's still something I feel should be avoided. If somebody is doing something you don't like, take it up with a jerkop and they will investigate any misconduct (these being shitty edits, forced content, ect). If you look at Champthom's topic above this one you will see that this topic runs along the same lines, only it extends to all user talk pages and not just those of vandals. It's best not to pick fights with other editors, because you're not just representing yourself when you make a post, you're representing the CWCki as a whole. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 14:30, 26 September 2010 (PDT)

== Contact Information ==

I feel the need to clarify our policies towards the posting of personal contact information (phone numbers, e-mail addresses, home address) of those who are in contact with Chris. The posting of said information is forbidden. Posting said information here voids the neutrality of the CWCki, changing it from a passive repository of Chris doings, to a base from which trolling attempts are launched. Please take this into consideration. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 14:52, 5 October 2010 (PDT)