CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:KCWC broadcast

2010-09-19T03:07:43Z

CrookedSmirk:

==To do==
*add relevant information (namely dates)
*include audio (i.e. the slideshow from the the DVD)
*transcribe this.

Also if anyone has a better suggestion for a name, by all means suggest it here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:05, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:I already said I would be attempting this (see userpage), but it will have to wait until after those Jew holidays. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:48, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
::I will let you do the transcribing if that's alright with you? --[[User:Lexluthzor|Lexluthzor]] 18:49, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

pretty disappoint that it took us this long to make a page for this. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 19:17, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
*In the future, just [[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|DO IT FAGGOT]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:27, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Transcribin' dis SECOND BITCH.-- [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 20:07, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

Transcribed dat SECOND BITCH. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 20:07, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== Parts VIII and IX cannot be transcribed ==

Does anybody have the files of the DVD and willing to transcribe the latter parts of this? Due to Youtube and WMG, the audio was muted on parts VIII and IX and the CWCville Library cannot upload those parts to Youtube. Any suggestions on what to do? --[[User:Lexluthzor|Lexluthzor]] 19:06, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

KCWC broadcast

2010-09-19T03:06:45Z

CrookedSmirk:

'''KCWC broadcast''' is a taped "broadcast" of [[KCWC]] that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV :)]]" DVD.

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] "calling in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] 71st birthday and humoring Chris like a six year old. The broadcast has several special "guests," notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|''Alvin and the Chipmunks'']]. Keep in mind, this was made when he was ''sixteen'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-jRds729ZI}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
{{transcription}}
{{stub}}
'''Chris:'''[''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air.

[''Chris makes some random chiming noises'']

'''Chris:''' [''ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice''] ''It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler!'' [''ba-ba-ba-bum'']

[tape skips between recording]

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up
[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra]]. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "[[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got the World on a String]]" plays]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]], let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[A recording of Chico Marx appearing on radio show ''The Fitch Bandwagon'' plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, Skip Nelson's "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aNSPbPdcWZo}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
"[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.
'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope he and his friend enjoys themselves, but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is (?)buster here with the news! First we will go with our local news. Here we are at the Mario racetrack where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees, but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris' voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! It is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his news caster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal five-million dollars from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a one-thousand dollar reward to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a five-million dollar reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago Whitesox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the Whitesox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial for toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes untill it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tAVkrAdqrYU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sNKPhZ2ea_w}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Sw3gT38hJNA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mHRCvY9GjhU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I7RFF2spayw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

Talk:KCWC broadcast

2010-09-19T02:05:59Z

CrookedSmirk:

==To do==
*add relevant information (namely dates)
*include audio (i.e. the slideshow from the the DVD)
*transcribe this.

Also if anyone has a better suggestion for a name, by all means suggest it here.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:05, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:I already said I would be attempting this (see userpage), but it will have to wait until after those Jew holidays. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:48, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
::I will let you do the transcribing if that's alright with you? --[[User:Lexluthzor|Lexluthzor]] 18:49, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

pretty disappoint that it took us this long to make a page for this. --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 19:17, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
*In the future, just [[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|DO IT FAGGOT]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:27, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Tanscribin' dis SECOND BITCH.

== Parts VIII and IX cannot be transcribed ==

Does anybody have the files of the DVD and willing to transcribe the latter parts of this? Due to Youtube and WMG, the audio was muted on parts VIII and IX and the CWCville Library cannot upload those parts to Youtube. Any suggestions on what to do? --[[User:Lexluthzor|Lexluthzor]] 19:06, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Fridays After Five

2010-07-10T04:34:52Z

CrookedSmirk:

[[Image:Fa5 2colorlogo.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's new [[attraction Location|prowling ground]]]]
'''Fridays After Five''' is a large block party/concert series that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. In [[June 2010]] [[Chris]] was video recorded there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

Chris first mentioned Fridays After Five in a [[6 June 2010|video]] explaining his near hit-and-run on [[Michael Snyder]]. Based upon this knowledge, the manchild has been attending the event since at least 4 June 2010.

==June 18th Sighting==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|You know he's [[straight]] because his [[bra]] says so.]]
[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|Chris trying to pick up a [[boyfriend-free girl]].]]
[[Image:Fridayafterplan.png|thumb|CWC's plan B.]]
[[Image:Dancing.gif|left]]

On 18 June 2010, Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan ([[YouTube]] name [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]) took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the author, Chris wore a T-shirt that says "I Enjoy [[Vagina]]" and was wearing a "[[gay]] circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|PokéWalker]]. At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]" on with permanent marker. Note the apparent, inexplicable (knowing Chris) absence of the [[Medallion_of_Fail|Medallion of Fail]] - although it could have been removed just temporarily in order to simplify the (probably planned) act of pulling back the shirt.

Chris's clothing indicates he is looking to put a new twist on his [[Love_Quest|old tricks]]. Like the [[Attraction_sign|attraction sign]], Chris is shown making a point to display the writing on his clothing, declaring that he "enjoys vagina" and "wants woman". This is yet another example that this [[autistic]] man-child does not learn from the mistakes of his past. Also, the videos filmed at this event mostly showed the back of Chris's head, which shows a small but emerging [[bald]] spot.

Besides exposing his covered bosom to potential [[sweetheart]]s - mostly [[pedofork|severely underage]] - Chris spent his time at the event [[Flipnote Hatena|drawing flipnotes]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi, and trying to dance with a disturbing mix of Chicken Dance and [[autism]] - with all the grace and skill of [[CWC Fighter]].

It is unlikely that Chris was aware of being photographed, which proves that all these actions are Chris's idea of being normal. When Chris eventually realized (or it seemed so) he was being observed, he suddenly disappeared like Batman.

== July 4th Sighting ==
On 9 July a [[troll]] reported that they had spotted Chris at the Independence Day celebrations held at [[McIntire Park]] on 4 July. Chris allegedly wore relatively normal clothing, indicating that perhaps he had realized how retarded he looked on his previous outing.

The troll reported that Chris had what appeared to be a large camera lens attached to the front of his DSi, and was presumably using it to survey the area for [[Boyfriend-free girl]]s.

Interestingly, the troll also reported that Chris scribbled a note onto something, wrapped it around a rock, and chucked it at a woman in what would appear to be a more aggressive and direct twist to the [[Red String of Fate]] tactic. Whatever was written on that note currently remains a mystery.

The troll's account in full:

{{quotebox|
I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.
I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.
At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy.}}

== July 9th Sighting ==
{{clear}}

put the july 9th sighting account and summary here, along with the pics of Chris, and a pic of the DSi lens he was using as a 'telescope'
[[File:Zoom_lens_for_DSi.jpg|thumb|right|The "zoom lens" as aforementioned. Apparently it acts as a sort of optic enhancement by adding a binocular zoom.]]
==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:100 0669.JPG|The return of the King.
File:100 0670.JPG|[[100 2178|All alone.]]
File:100 0671.JPG|Fuck yeah! A [[gal-pal]]!
File:100 0673.JPG|The gal pal's gone...
File:100 0674.JPG|Oh! Potential new gal-pals!
File:100 0676.JPG|Creepy...
File:100 0677.JPG|...fucking...
File:100 0678.JPG|...scene.
File:100 0681.JPG|Eventually, an urgent need to <s>play some vidya</s> [[Flipnote Hatena|DRAW SOME SHIT]] prevails.
File:100 0682.JPG|Chris enjoying the real world. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot.
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris. Notice that he hasn't bothered to fully remove his shirt.
File:100 0695.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom.
File:100 0696.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies.
File:FAF-06092010.jpg|From autisitc trucker to dorkish plumber.
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|Videos of Chris in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = manchild
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J4dib0pmpjE}}
| Stardate = 18 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]
*[[Pedofork]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download the videos]
*[http://www.charlottesvillepavilion.com/fridaysafterfive/ Fridays After Five at the Charlottesville Pavilion]

[[Category:Social life]]

File:Zoom lens for DSi.jpg

2010-07-10T04:26:35Z

CrookedSmirk: Chris' creepy fuck zoom lens from the July 9th sighting.

Chris' creepy fuck zoom lens from the July 9th sighting.

File talk:ZuriAlryte.jpg

2010-06-25T02:51:39Z

CrookedSmirk:

Is it just me, or does Zuri look lighter than Chris and Kiera? --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 01:14, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

D-Does she have a tatoo of a lightning bolt on her arm? Haha. Oh wow. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 02:51, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

File talk:0540-Prom2.jpg

2010-06-09T07:06:04Z

CrookedSmirk: Created page with 'Is that..Mcdonalds? ~~~~'

Is that..Mcdonalds? [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 07:06, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:05142010

2010-05-15T21:04:10Z

CrookedSmirk:

Another attempt at getting sympathy and attention. I should have known that Chris was too much of a prick to make a video in memory of someones passing. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:39, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps we should rename this page "Chris Bores his Fanbase". --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:41, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

=="I am a good man"==
No you're not, Chris..No you're not.. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 21:04, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Autism

2010-05-09T08:28:56Z

CrookedSmirk: Not trolling, brah. It's true stuff. by LeninandMcCarthy (Talk)

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]].

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|theory]] linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Possible real cure for Autism==
As many people know, 'Autism' is caused by an overabundance of Mercury in vaccinations given to newborn children. Infact, Autism is essentially Mercury poisoning with a different name. Theoretically it is within the realm of possibility to cure it by removing the Mercury from the sufferer's body, but in Chris' case it's extremely unlikely as 1. He's too caught in his [[Cwcville|fabricated reality]] to even consider the possibility of Autism being caused by a vaccine, and 2, he's never going to get off of his ass and actually research these things.

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
''See also: [[Asperger's]]'' 
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are anyone who has Asperger's Syndrome or are deemed "low-functioning". As such, Chris is shown to be very "close-minded" about the subject and will get violent over anyone trying to prove the fact that Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism are nearly identical. In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's Syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>
Because of Chris's [[Chris and his ego|''massive'' ego]], he seems to think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic, leading him to call people with Asperger's "fakers".

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==Chris and his own Autism==
Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]].

Ignoring the seemingly endless [[Chris and hypocrisy|contradictions]] between Chris's view of himself and his view of 'lower functioning' autistics (such as his claim during mumble 3 that he has conquered boundaries that any low-functioning autistic would be afraid of, and yet he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never [[Blanca|had]] a [[Julie|real]] [[Ivy|girlfriend]], and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis), Chris's attitude towards his own autism can be summed up as follows: Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Autism

2010-05-09T08:28:24Z

CrookedSmirk: Undo revision 88864 by CrookedSmirk (Talk)

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{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]].

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|theory]] linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
''See also: [[Asperger's]]'' 
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are anyone who has Asperger's Syndrome or are deemed "low-functioning". As such, Chris is shown to be very "close-minded" about the subject and will get violent over anyone trying to prove the fact that Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism are nearly identical. In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's Syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>
Because of Chris's [[Chris and his ego|''massive'' ego]], he seems to think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic, leading him to call people with Asperger's "fakers".

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==Chris and his own Autism==
Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]].

Ignoring the seemingly endless [[Chris and hypocrisy|contradictions]] between Chris's view of himself and his view of 'lower functioning' autistics (such as his claim during mumble 3 that he has conquered boundaries that any low-functioning autistic would be afraid of, and yet he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never [[Blanca|had]] a [[Julie|real]] [[Ivy|girlfriend]], and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis), Chris's attitude towards his own autism can be summed up as follows: Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Autism

2010-05-09T08:27:37Z

CrookedSmirk: Undo revision 88857 by LeninandMcCarthy (Talk)

Autism

2010-05-09T07:04:29Z

CrookedSmirk:

Talk:Greene County Conspiracy

2010-05-09T05:30:10Z

CrookedSmirk:

Starting transcription [[User:Urist|Urist]] 04:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

A video was released earlier by solidsnakeproductions giving a gay craigslist user looking for good times directions to Chris' house...could this be why he made this video? [[User:LouisLash|LouisLash]] 2:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Doubtful. By the sounds of it, Chris won tickets for some sporting event, no one wanted to go with his smelly ass and when he did go, he was reminded he was a [[Virgin with rage]] by the lovey-dovey couple beside him. Thus, he decided to go after others, blaming ''two fucking counties'' for playing Kick the Autistic!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Name Change==
I know, it just got put up, but this page needs a better name. I vote for either "Chris Whines The Blues" or "The Greene County Conspiracy"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Moving it here, so it can be seen.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Cry some more, Chris==
Hahahahahaha! His tears taste magnificent! Greatest CWC video in a while. We're fucking breaking him. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-04T04:58:10Z

CrookedSmirk:

==To do==
*<strike>Picture of Bob</strike>
**Bob looks like fucking Jigsaw. Scary. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:34, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's relationship with Bob, in Chris's own words
*add some background to Bob's history. He goes on about himself in the date audio, and he's a pretty interesting guy, like he saw the first plastic Coke bottles shipped off from the assembly line, and he was in the Signal Corps and all sorts of other interesting stuff. We need some of that in here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:06, 26 March 2009 (CET)

(Quick question - whats the date audio? Thanks!)
*...the audio of Chris's date with [[Emily]]. As seen available on the [[The Miscreants]] website. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:31, 17 April 2009 (CEST)

Should I mention he just got sent to the hospital in the health section with congestive heart failure? [[Shawths|Shawths]]

==Great job!==

Seriously, this article is terrific now. I'm surprised how far it's come. Good work to all those involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:11, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

: Still need more on video games and raising Chris. The section on Chris should be the biggest in this article. Will wait for others to finish transcribing because I can't make out Bob's quiet voice in church & Emily. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:24, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

== Bob's birthday ==

Why did everyone think it was Feb. 9th instead of Sept. 4? Does Chris not know when his father's birthday is? [[User:Sauerkraut131|Sauerkraut131]] 04:41, 27 June 2009 (CEST)
*No, it's just hard to tell from the Family Tree poster since it's in microscopic print. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:27, 27 June 2009 (CEST)

==Radio Station Gig==
According to some of the recordings via Yahoo Messenger, didn't Bob worked at a radio station at one time? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 21:01, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==i suck==

Hi, first time editor, long time lurker. I called CWC's house today, hoping to talk to him, but I got Bob instead. Those other people exaggerated about Bob's bravado in their callfail video, Bob isn't much of an opponent if you don't let him get a word in, he just seems to stammer a lot. Of note, he recognized my Texas area code (432) and said he was from Texas, and that he knew some KKK people who he said he would send over to my house if I didn't stop calling. Unfortunately it's lost to time because I can't record from my cellphone and maintain a decent quality. I called him in the morning, when he woke up I honestly thought it was Chris. Anyways, I suck at this shit, I'm gonna just lurk and wtach from now on. I don't have what it takes to be a troll. Thanks for the interesting page, and sorry I don't have any audio to give you guys. [[User:ColossalFail|ColossalFail]] 19:35, 28 November 2009 (CET)

==Hey... ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k]

My friend sent me this video earlier today. It has to do with someone prank calling Bob to get more info out of him involving his current life. Is there anything in it we could possibly use for this article? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 16:41, 20 February 2010 (EST)

==Congestive heart failure==
{{protip|[[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Discussion regarding the accuracy of these tweets are reasonable, but trolling plans in regards have no place on PVCC.}}
Damn. We all knew this was coming eventually, but still.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

: We haven't confirmed it was actually Chris yet--I'm personally at 60-40 Chris, the writing style seems off(the Random Capitalization is unusual) but his posting pattern makes sense. Chris only seems to use Twitter when the CWCipedia has dicks on it and I doubt that he's checked recently.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*The Twitter is his, he's written in the [[CWC Blog]] about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** I don't see it on the CWCipedia updates.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:***It would explain his lack of presence for the last few days.
: Huh, I don't see that tweet on [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu his Twitter account]. Did he delete it, or am I just missing it somehow? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* No, it's there. It starts with "Captain's Log Stardate March 1st"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:13, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** Oh, now I see it. Thanks! *[[slow-in-the-mind]]* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 17:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
I don't want to live in a Cwcville without Bob. If he dies, I'll kill myself.
''

I'm going to kill myself if Bob Chandler dies
I'm going to kill myself if he makes me cry
I'll slit my wrists or I'll cut my throat
but I'll kill myself, I'll kill myself, by bleeding on his doorstep.''

[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:50, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

:My grandma died due to congestive heart failure. It isn't a pretty sight. -PeaceCeapPea

:I just heard the news. Dammit, Bob is awesome, I'm praying he doesn't kick it! PLEASE DON'T DIE, BOB! :'( [[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:57, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Just to be clear, CHF doesn't necessarily mean heart attack/failure/imminent death. What it means is that the heart is weakened and is having trouble pumping enough blood to the rest of the body. A lot of overweight and older people develop CHF and don't kick off immediately because of it, and it is treatable. So Bob may live to chop down more internets yet. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 07:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

He spent 2 tweets discussing how his dad has a serious health issue, then six talking about himself and Sonichu. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I know, right? What the fuck? That's pretty low. I know Chris has [[Mumble 1|implied]] that he doesn't love Bob, but I'd expect more than that. People always joke about Bob dying, but I wouldn't like that at all. He is the only sliver of awesome left in Chris's life. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*The thing is, people think that without Bob, we'd get more interesting results from Chris. Bob kept Chris from going to Redmond. Bob is more or less the reason why Chris won't travel anywhere for a troll. Anyways, I think the concern is that Bob has a long history of heart problems already and given his age, he's taken quite a beating and it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that this might do him in. Not that I pray for the death of Bob, mind you, only that this is the rationale of people focusing on Bob's death and why people aren't exactly optimistic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I wouldn't expected anything else from him. What about "I am putting ''Sonichu'' on hold because my father is at the hospital"? That wouldn't have been a novelty. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all do something nice for Lumberjack. Make his life a little easier. We should call in and wish him good health. How much better will he feel knowing that he is more loved than his internet famous son? He'd perk up right away. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* He appreciated [[4 September 2009|Vivian's card]], that's probably a good idea. A picnic hamper perhaps? Some kind of gift package with food and/or nice shit. Chris won't go to that trouble; someone should.- [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:33, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*If someone sets up a paypal, I'd chip in 10 bucks. He's the internet lumberjack, after all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:34, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I agree, that would be cool. [[User:Lynxr|–Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.–]] 19:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I plan on sending flowers by myself in the next few days. Some kind of "Get Well" bouquet. The man deserves it. He went through a lot and, even if he could had done better with Chris, he deserves a break. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*I've started a /cwc/ thread on this here: http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/24043.html - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 18:54, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I really hope Bob pulls through for Chris's sake. I really hate Chris but I know what it's like to lose one's father, and that's not something I'd wish upon anybody else. --[[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 16:44, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, seriously. I hope Bob gets well soon.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 19:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
** Same here. Out of the Chandlers, Bob is easily the most likeable.....which isn't exactly that difficult seeing the rest of the Chandlers, but still.. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 19:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, all the colossal dicks are gone from the Cwcipedia. A mark of respect? --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Sadly, it looks like it. Chris do not deserve any respect. CWCipedia should be a ground for Cock-Parades 24/7/365 [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**Dude, his dad could be fucking ''dying''. I think it's a nice gesture - that's why I mentioned it.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 22:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***I never saw Chris acting with compassion towards someone before, I don't see why we should indulge in Moral-Faggotery because of Bob's issues. As much as I respect the Old Man, He's not the jerk we all love to hate. This is why I strongly believe that the ads must be put back in place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:25, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Chris's 'stress' probably gets passed onto Bob. When Bob is in stable condition, there's no way Chris will be able to put his needs ahead of his own. He'll be getting all cunty about the trolling that he's receiving and not helping Bob's situaition at all. I say lay off and go with [[User:Edward|Edward's]] idea. Well wishes and get well soon ads for Bob. So what if Chris gets smug. Smug Chris is positive happy Chris, it's the closest he gets to that emotion. We can put up with that while his dad's in hospital, right? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Seconded. /Scruffy --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Chris wouldn't give a fuck if his father died. He hates him. If he hasn't empaphized with anyone else, then why the father he hates so much? He'll fake sadness, pretend he cares, but he'll still consider fucking Patti the worst loss of his life. And going easy on Chris is no help for Bob, that just means that in possibly his last days with his father he'll be all smug about his victory over the gay ads. If anything they should put up a get well message for Bob using the adspace. I'm going to mention that to the Asperpedia crew next time i'm over there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:42, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***Agreed. Look at the Quote of the Now. He mentions that his dad is in the hospital and would be there for a few days, but he had a LOOOONG stressful day. He wants us to feel sorry for him for the day, not his dad. It would be the greatest wake up call when he does pass away.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:23, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****Chris being selfish? that's old news. If bob dies, it's ovbiously he would become chris's new excuse " i can't do << insert anything>> because my dad died" for a while, he'll forget about him and continue to be the jerk we know. Id bob dies he will be free from the torments of chris, bob has been trough too many shit thanks to Chris, bob deserves to finally rest in peace. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****Actually, what would happen if Bob died? Presumably the family, not just Bob are living off his pension and social security. Even if they own the house completely, however much Barbra is bringing in plus $450 from Chris' board may not be enough to pay all their costs (bills, food, etc). --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:15, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
****** I wouldn't doubt that the accumulative total of both Chris' and Bab's welfare would be enough to sustain them- provided Chris stopped buying junk he never uses and stops eating at McDonald's. But it seems to me from the Twitter alone that Chris doesn't consider this emergency to be significant- it's like he skimmed across the issue as a lead-up to his retarded comic's scheduling, which in turn lead into "Rule 18" (which I can only assume is Chris' mistaken discovery of Rule 34). If he took the situation seriously at all, he'd either be pouring more emotion into it, or be absent altogether. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
******* Well Chris claims to have gotten his pack rat nature from his parents. So there's the possibility that if Bob goes, they'll spend themselves into nothing. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
-
• One thought- has anyone contacted [[Cole]] yet? I'm in Australia or I would myself. I know Chris doesn't gave a flying fuck and [[Snorlax]] almost certainly doesn't either. He should know I think. --Ronichu
* I think most of the family probably know by now (I would hope so anyway) but Cole has said in the past that he would celebrate when Bob "finally drops". Unless Cole is willing to make peace I say let him stay in the dark on this one, or leave it to the Chandlers to tell him. This is all too soon, I'm not ready for Bob to die yet... I just hope he dies comfortable, not at home and not surrounded by his family. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 01:40, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, when bob dies, i hope he doesn't has to see his failure son's face. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Agreed on letting the Chandlers tell Cole, if for no other reason than he might not believe some random troll from the Internet. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I really need to ask this- where was it picked up that Bob had a 10% chance of survival? If it was in the linked article, I didn't see it.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*I am asking myself the same question; where this came from? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** It doesn't, I think the person who wrote that must have seen the bit which says that it has an annual mortality rate of 10% and misunderstood it. He statistically has a 90% chance of surviving another year (provided he is suffering from the normal progressive form of the disease). I've changed the article to reflect this. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 11:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

*If Bob does kick it (may he rest in peace if he does), what odds do you give on Chris going to a funny farm in the next 5 years? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Unless if the state of Virginia got no cheaper option. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I try to send flowers to Bob but the FTD website ask for a phone number. Anyone got a clue what Chris's phone is? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

He tells us himself in the opening few seconds of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2vGKa-k2Us this video]. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*How about <s>Chris' credit card number</s> the hospital we should send them to? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's credit card number is 2984 8579 9562 3765. That number is fake by the way in case anyone missed the joke. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:24, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*thanks for the info. I forgot about this video. I rand FTD with a nice card and a Pink Lily Bouquet. Bob will receive them tomorrow.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
***Assuming Snorlax doesn't eat them first. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:08, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Do we know that Bob will get them? Knowing Chris, he'll assume that they are for him and make a youtube video thanking his secret admirer for sending him flowers. I hope that you made sure to put down in bold capitals that its for Bob, and even then its only a slim chance that he'll consider the idea that they're not for him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::*But pink is such a faggy color. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:53, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*There's a possibility that Chris will hijack the bouquet but let's see it that way; it's bloody pink if he does, we got material to doubt his straightness. Not only Bob's name is on the delivery slip but I also send a "Get Well" card mentioning him, the package couldn't be mistaken. FTD will deliver tomorrow. Let's see what it will bring us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I sent Bob a bouquet as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed hearing about his experiences and feel bad that he's stuck with a horrible wife and son. The all the man wants is a chance to discuss the world and listen to his records. At the very least, he deserves to know that there are people that like him out there. --[[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 22:35, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*What color? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:41, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Multi-colored. It's [http://www.teleflora.com/mixed-flowers/bouquet/make-a-wish-167864p.asp?s=t&promotioncode=Shed10&srccode=SH_FR&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=TFWEB164 this one.] [[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 01:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*If Chris suffered heart failure, I wouldn't send flowers. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 04:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*I kinda want Bob to die (Don't look at me like i am a monster) because I want the vicarious thrill of watching 14 Branchland Court implode without his common sense. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** Me too. He's pretty much the only person who ever tried to stop a Sweetheart opperation--he could have stopped Julie if Max hadn't been a good liar. Nothing will set the Snorlax off unless you try to lure Chris somewhere, and even then I remind you that we still got him to defy her and go to Ohio. Her general logic for any scenario seems to be "If Chris actually gets a girl, I'll believe it when I see her, otherwise it's his own damn fault for being stupid". This is Chris's logic, minus the part after the comma. Oh, and no Bob means less money, and what's going to make you think Chris starts stealing his tugboat payment from her?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*** If you kinda want Bob to die to make trolling Chris easier you're kinda a far more worthless human being than Chris is. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 23:41, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**** I'll justify myself, then. I will be sad to see Bob die, and I will be happy to see what happens when he's gone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
***Like I said, I'm no monster, I just wanna see Chris fall apart without Bob's guidance. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** If Chris has no-one to defend him or motivate him, it won't be a challenge to troll him anymore. I like Bob, and if I get to his age I intend to spend all day everyday swingin' with the music. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 02:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Well, since Barb is too weighed down by her own rolls to do anything, if Bob dies, there will be shit hitting fans in Chris' home real soon, and I don't mean cat shit.. Either way it's going to be funny considering Chris' warped view on death. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]]

McDonald's

2010-02-09T11:48:38Z

CrookedSmirk:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|I don't go to McDonald's often, maybe 2 or 3 times a week.|Chris}}

[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|A typical visit to McDonald's]]

'''McDonald's''' is [[CWC|Chris's]] food of choice. Chris's ideal first [[dating|date]] would take place here. His favorite items are Chicken Nuggets and the $1 sweet tea.

Chris met the real life [[B-Manajerk]] in a Wal-Mart McDonald's.

Based on reports from [[Ivy]] in [[Mumble]] on 28 March [[2009]], Chris's preference for McDonald's is symbolic of his conflict with [[Bob Chandler|his dad]], who prefers Burger King.

Chris has been stuffing his fat fucking face full of this shit since the Monopoly 2009 promotion started. He claimed to not care about it in a video, only to create more accounts later, and entered 65 codes from purchased goods. [[Jack]] is not pleased.

Interesting to note is that McDonald's has been a longtime supporter of [[homos|Gays and Gay Pride Parades]]. So, Chris has been unintentionally supporting homosexuality everytime he eats there.

===Possible cause for health problems===
Chris' inactive lifestyle and constant consumption of McDonalds may contribute to his growing obesity, as well as his high cholesterol. It's possible that he might develop heart disease and/or diabetes in the near future if he continues to live the way he does. The likelihood of him passing away due to a heart attack or stroke increases each month.

==Conflict with Kacey==
During Chris's abortive attempt to win over [[Kacey]] as his [[sweetheart]], at her behest he made a feeble effort to clean up his act as far as exercise and eating right. One of Kacey's particular demands was that Chris quit eating fast food, an expectation he almost entirely failed to live up to. During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey and her father]], he claimed to have cut down to one McDonald's trip per week at best, and even that was most likely a lie.

Since Kacey's marriage to [[Liquid Chris]] in mid-November 2009, the McNuggets have almost certainly resumed their steady march down Chris's bottomless gullet.

==In the comics==
* There is a McDonald's in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
* [[Sub-Episodes]] [[Sub-Episode_4#Sub-Episode_4:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack.22|4]] and [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_5:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22McAttack_part_2.22|5]] take place in "the city of M-C-Dville, of the region of [[Mal-Wart]]."
* A McDonald's ripoff, CWCee Dees (pronounced like "Mickey Dee's") appears in [[Sonichu 9]], where it seems to be a popular place to go on a date.
* [[Punchy]] took [[Layla]] to McDonald's on their first date.

{{Stub}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Places]]

Talk:Apologies to Alec and Evan

2010-02-03T05:52:12Z

CrookedSmirk:

Someone gonna transcribe dis bitch? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
:Hey! That's my line!--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:44, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Oh good. He pronounced it Sigh-mon-chew instead of See-mon-chew. He's never, ever gone near TTGL. I knew that already but hey, it's nice to have confirmation.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:51, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

...and now he's trying to say that hey, simonla isn't based off simonchu at all? wow, talk about setting something on fire then trying to pour it out with gasoline. --This comment has been brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 04:27, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
*omg there's a new ad already...goddamn you asperpedia folks are fast! :D [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 04:34, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
** I pray to God, Jesus, and the Bear that we'll get not at Chris video, but a Snorlax video where she screams at us for being sick fucks. I'd be SO happy if I found out that Snorlax is hurting from the trolling as well--Chris is her fault, which means everything we can no longer unsee as well as everything that has ever happened to Chris is her fault.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:44, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**That would be brilliant. You know, I did mention that whole idea of the 'Stop obesity in America' ad featuring Snorlax on Asperpedia. Mao actually deleted my sugestion, but it seems suspicious that Snorlax was later featured in a CWCipedi ad. I can't help but feel partially responsible. I feel as if i'm going to burst into laughter. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:17, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Goddamnit Chris, I thought you'd go a whole apology video without asking for anything in return. [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 04:53, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Damn, somebody beat me to it on the Transcript. Oh well! Sure did troll us. So much apologies without requesting anything. Damn it, CWC! - [[User:BouncyTEM|BouncyTEM]] 05:09, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Thanks to whoever added some links that I forgot to include in the transcription, I appreciate your help! - [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:52, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

==Illustrations==
Did anybody save the ad(s) that inspired this video? The ones that went up before the ShecameforCWC parody? Seems like they'd be a useful addition to the article. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 09:43, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
*That's a good question. The only problem is that I don't know how they're working the advertisements, else I'd look up it's history and grab it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:27, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, they're not part of the wiki database, so you can't just dig them out of the update history. (And so Chris can't just take them down himself, I'm sure.) [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 20:14, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

Apologies to Alec and Evan

2010-02-02T05:04:42Z

CrookedSmirk:

Right after giving Mao a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], he "apologizes" to [[Evan]] and Alec. His only motivation for this seems to be as a means to convince them to remove the ads from the [[CWCipedia]], which have shifted essentially to hardcore gay porn.
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Apologies to Alec and Evan
| image = {{#ev:youtube|gvPYdS25pKY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 1 February 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Redstripeshirt.png]] Red Stripe
| previous = [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.]]
| next = Current
}}
===Transcript===
Ahh, Captain's Log, February first, 2010.. I would like to take this moment to apologize to mister Alec Benson Leary..For the curses, and the death threats, and mislabelings I have placed upon him. Such as, uh, not reading his own fan- his own "fanmail" and all that.. So I apologize for stealing- for misunderstanding his [[Asperchu]] as being a parody and labeling it as such.. As much as it is ''his'' original character.

Asperchu is Alec Benson's Leary charac- Alec Benson's.. [''squints in a retarded concentration''] Try saying that three times fast with plurals..Heh.. Asperchu is Alec Benson Leary's all-creation. Not mine. And I retra- and I retract all the past statements that I've made, uh, against that, and of his book being anything parodic or copycatishly to anything in my uh, anything in my book.

Um...Anyway, uh, along with that I also would like to apologize to Evan for offending him and by clai- and by taking false claim of his Simonchu character..And uh, I'm happy to give that back to him, and I retract ''all'' ownership of the Simonchu character. [''Pauses in a retarded contemplation, leaning forward and opening his mouth again before continuing''] And..I leave you all with that! Soo..Yeah. My apologize, my apolo- my respective apologies to all of y'all on the Asperpedia, uh, I hope we can get along and maybe be less offensive advertise-wise. Okay. [''-sigh-''] Be safe and have a good day!

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]