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File talk:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg

2015-06-26T11:46:25Z

DStecks: Created talk page

Is there actually a compelling reason to host this image here, even if Chris did post it? It feels like an unnecessary invasion of Megan's privacy. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] ([[User talk:DStecks|talk]]) 11:46, 26 June 2015 (UTC)

File talk:GrandWizardBob.jpg

2015-02-22T05:24:40Z

DStecks: Blanked the page

Sonichu 10

2015-02-21T16:23:42Z

DStecks: repaired archival links to the Sonichu Site.

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = Issue 10 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh and currently final completed issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] series. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character had been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more had transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris had in fact subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time ''Sonichu'' #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already having oracular visions of his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her almost-identical daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto emails#Chris Will Be There... Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ77AMiIG7Q&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=58 ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year [[2015]], where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so she took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call 1|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. To add even more unintentional hilarity to the situation, vaccines actually use a small sample of the original disease, as to reintroduce it to the body; this of course, implies that Chris's blood was cough cough, [[Homos|tainted]]. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, about whom his completely random one true love [[Kel]] is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never revealed. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

Before sending him on his way, however, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to co-ordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PlayStation 3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for absolutely no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, '''and then blows it up with everyone inside.''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason somehow uses an illegal HEXbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[sweetheart]] [[Blanca]] (already forgetting all about [[Lovely Weather]] from a few pages back). Despite copious conflicting evidence, Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' A crudely-drawn rendition of [[Monty Python|Spiny Norman]] also appears and says "Dinsdale", presumably in an attempt at [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will turn Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms (in a scene [[Chris and art#Traced images from the Sonichu Comic|heavily traced]] from a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' comic) until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle full of the homo cure while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris barks the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So, naturally, he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about having sex, Chris's version complains about an eleven-year-old incarnation of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in what is - in a supreme irony - the only genuinely romantic moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands as lovers as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft together as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would [[Chris and Remorse|justify]] the [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|needless murder]] of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As she and Chris talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her 'sir', which on Family Guy is a running joke. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] (who has a penis) in disguise. Silvana comments on how easy it was to "troll" Chris, illustrating Chris's extremely bizarre notion of what constitutes trolling.

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his imaginary homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the blatant homophobia in the comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Having blamed the victims, Chris then begs his gay readers not to abandon him. Despite having made this "apology", however, Chris never made any effort to remove or redraw the offending content.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, but she immediately showers ''Darkbind'' with gratitude rather than him, because of course Zelina is female and Sonichu is already married.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]]
[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]

Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[shecameforCWC.JPG|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and homosexuality, and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his Ego|bow down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of (anonymous) Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who she claims retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For no stated reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on and on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggos|niggo]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkop]]s and presumably Janekops from [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops have gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast and how she tried to cause others to feel the same way. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of]] [[God of War|Kratos' blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment and the emancipation of all Jerkops. He also declares legalization of homosexuality in CWCville (gay marriage remains illegal), which is completely pointless because Chris set events in motion to eradicate homosexuality ''earlier in this very comic''. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant (not mayor, as he promised), and announces that ''he'' will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises once again to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planting a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his very familiar-looking daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan wastes no time in telling her her point blank that Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice.]]

Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Leary, Watley, George and Ling.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based inexplicably on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Adult Swim|Marvey]] [[Pokémon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris and hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris and hypocrisy#"I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]

For the first act, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of his minions, each one dwelling (and clearly overreacting) on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall, where Wild and Sandy are able to torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, eager to let her taunt and steal from her mother's "killer". After taking his glasses as some sort of trophy (a habit usually donned by serial killers), she then proceeds to drill several holes in Evan's body, including his [[Pickle|pelvis]], before she and Wild finish him off together. Y'know, just normal father and daughter bonding.

Sean, however, is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] are able shoot him to death at point-blank range.

Finally, Chris literally ''''[[Jason Kendrick Howell message|breaks Mao]]'''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why, even noting that ''"his amends have been made"'' for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals [sic] of death in horrifying, gorey [sic] detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Absurdly, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[Naïve|naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechus captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in an execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law": a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months]]. Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[List of Chris's lies|for once]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on-page. Wild mourns for precisely one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is [[Chris and the Law|put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot]]].

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to CWCipedia admins, and then [[TrollBusters|Calvin and Dee^2]] would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

Unsurprisingly, by the end of the Jackie Saga, this version had not surfaced, and even had Chris begun it the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] would have ensured it would never see the light of day.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 21 - Director's Amenities
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</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

== References ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]</s> (dead link as of February 2015)
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 YouTube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions]
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?bxbbbf1b042nwrb Download .rar of Sonichu #10]</s> (dead link as of February 2015)
 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Sonichu 9

2015-02-21T16:23:08Z

DStecks: repaired archival links to the Sonichu Site.

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #9
| cover = SchuComic9.jpg
| coverdate = 1 December 2008
| finishedcomic = 7 December 2009
| pagecount = 101
| episodes = 19-20
| previous = [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]]
| next = [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]
}}'''''Sonichu'' #9''' is the tenth issue of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic book. It depicts Chris's return from the [[Time Void]] he fell into in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as the canonical version of the sequence depicted in [[Sonichu Fan Promo|timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos]].

The issue sees the debut of [[Reginald Sneasel]], [[Layla Flaaffy]], [[Ivy]], and [[GodJesus]]. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]'s marriage and children are acknowledged for the first time since Chris introduced the [[retcon]] in [[August 2009]].

Confusion about what ''Sonichu'' #9 is and is not arises from the fact that Chris published a preview of Episode 21, scheduled for [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] before beginning work on [[Episode 18]] for [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]; [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|many]] have mistakenly referred to one or both of these stories as issue 9. However, the asspies at [[CWCki]] have always been able to keep track of the True and Honest continuity, and know ''Sonichu'' #9 features Episodes 19 and 20. Chris himself has confirmed this on [[CWCipedia]].

''Sonichu'' #9 is the longest ''Sonichu'' issue on record, at 107 pages including extras. Counting only the episode pages, it is identical in length to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], at 101 pages.

==Production==
[[Image:Sonichu 9 release graph.png|thumb|right|''Sonichu'' #9 release activity. Note that for earlier pages, this only tracks when the images were uploaded to CWCipedia.]]
Work on the issue began as early as December 2008 when Chris drew the cover, although progress had stalled due to the stress of coping with the [[trolls]] demanding MOAR COMIX. In a departure from his normal publishing procedure, Chris released the content of this issue section-by-section: The first three pages of Episode 19 were released on [[March 2009|30 March 2009]], followed by the rest of the episode on [[April 2009|12 April 2009]]; the story would not be fully colored and lettered until [[July 2009]]. Pages from Episode 20 quickly followed beginning on [[August 2009|August 8th]], suggesting Chris has finally gotten his focus back, perhaps due to competition from [[CChanSonichuCWC|the impostor]]. Production halted after this, but new pages were made in [[October 2009]] due to external forces pressuring him in finishing Episode 20 to solve a copyright dispute.

From the day the cover was drawn on 1 December [[2008]] to the day the final page was uploaded on 7 [[December 2009]], ''Sonichu'' #9 took just over a full year to complete (longer than any previous issue), demonstrating that even if Chris could draw, he couldn't produce enough material to keep a steady job in the comics industry.

Due to [[trolls|continuing issues]] with webhosting, ''Sonichu'' #9's rolling debut has spanned no less than four different websites: [[sonichuandrosechu.com]], [[cwcville.com]], [[CWCipedia]], and Chris's [[DeviantART]] account.

==Cover==
The cover depicts the entire [[Chaotic Combo]] as if about to go into battle. It is presumably a montage scene, and is most notable for prominently featuring [[Rosechu]] in the process of pulling bananas out of her skirt.
{{-}}
==Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)==
{{Resources
| title = Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_1 ''Episode 19''
| videobook =Sonichu_9_Official_Videobook#Episode_19{{!}}''Episode 19''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic10P1.htm ''Episode 19''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as9Cs7dVfP8&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=44 ''Ep. 19 Part 1''
| audiobook2 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUZseMUMx5g&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=45 ''Ep. 19 Part 2''
| audiobook3 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPN-p7J1Ci8&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=46 ''Ep. 19 Part 3''}}
This episode is based around our heroes attending "[[Dating education]]" classes, because although they've spent years training in dojos and fighting the world's most [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (comics)|villainous enemies]], none of them is able to talk to the opposite sex.

The comic opens with [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] announcing his intention to ace the class and make [[Angelica]] his woman, while [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] orders [[Zapina]] into the high-school version of the class to pick up sixteen-year-old boys, taught by [[Sarah Jackson|Ms. Jackaras]]. One boy named "[[Reginald Sneasel|Reginald]]" is jealous of Punchy for being paired up with the girl he likes, [[Layla]]. [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] is paired with Simonla. Some ''[[South Park]]'' knockoffs are paired together. [[Ivy]] ([[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2|after Julie was written out]]), shows no interest in her pairing because she and Chris had the same dream where [[GodJesus]] showed up and explain that Chris and Ivy are meant to be together, even though, at this point, the two had never met.

Ms. Jackaras orders the class to socialize with their chosen partners anonymously over instant message chat, which is apparently more beneficial than face-to-face interaction. Punchy soon forgets all about Angelica as he speaks to Layla over IM and dreams his dreams of [[china]]. However, the jealous Reginald tries to cock block Punchy by cutting the cable on the computer, thus separating Layla and Punchy over IM. Sadly, his plan fails as Punchy merely asks [[Wild Sonichu]] to cross over to the other side of the room and ask Layla out for him. Layla totally says yes.

While Wild is doing Punchy's dirty-work for him, he glances at Simonla's computer monitor and concludes that he has been IM'ing with her all along. He takes advantage of this situation by taking her back to his place and showing her his vibrating bed.

Punchy meets Layla for the first time outside class, and they make a romantic trip to [[McDonald's]] where Punchy demands that "da freedom fries" not be invaded by salt. Outside class, Reginald is contemplating suicide when he is approached by Angelica who listens to his pathetic tale of woe and, possibly due to use of narcotic substances, invites him over for dinner. Back in class, Ms. Jackaras's death is nonchalantly announced by her sister, who then hands out the exam scores.

===Original Version===

[[Ivy Q&A#Layla and Punchy|According to Ivy]], Chris originally planned to make this episode much raunchier than usual. Specifically, Punchy was supposed to bone Layla in the ladies room at McDonald's (specifically the [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicapped]] stall), and Reginald was supposed to [[Bob_Walks_In|walk in on it]]. Also, at some unspecified point Reginald was going to slash Punchy's tires in a fit of insane stalker jealousy. The bathroom scenario was apparently based on a fantasy Chris kept bringing up in his conversations with Ivy.

Ivy believes those ideas were eventually discarded from the final version because Chris thought they might elicit a negative response from [[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]], and not because of the fact that it's incredibly fucked up.

==Episode 20: CWC-Defense==
{{Resources
| title = CWC-Defense
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_32 ''Episode 20''
| videobook =Sonichu_9_Official_Videobook#Episode_20{{!}}''Episode 20''
| sonichusite =archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic10P2.htm ''Episode 20''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E4kKJqkfbE&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=50 ''Ep. 20 Part 1''
| audiobook2 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM_HvH6aMS4&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=51 ''Ep. 20 Part 2''
| audiobook3 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuzvV2Iaumw&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=52 ''Ep. 20 Part 3''
| audiobook4 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoBly4wsW6E&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=53 ''Ep. 20 Part 4''
| audiobook5 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzVMHDXNhbE&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=54 ''Ep. 20 Part 5''
| audiobook6 =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCLmPCII7LY&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=55 ''Ep. 20 Part 6''}}

The full plot of Episode 20 was unknown for a long time, but it was expected to be the climactic resolution of the battle of [[CWCville]] seen in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] renewing their attack, the [[electric hedgehog]]s finally gathering the [[Sonichu Balls]] to free [[Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] at last escaping the Time Void. Now that the comic is finally released, the word "anticlimax" comes to mind for some reason.

The episode begins with [[BILLY MAYS]] explaining that he was never Mayor of CWCville, just in case anybody hadn't heard Chris say so in the previous four months. He endorses [[Allison Amber]] as the true interim mayor, and urges readers to respect Chris and CWCville. In a sidenote, Chris asks Billy to please come back someday, suggesting that he may really not understand anything about death.

===Invasion: CWCville!===
The story opens in earnest with [[Silvana Rosechu]], [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] scouting CWCville for an impending invasion. Meanwhile, at 14 Brunchville Lane, [[Sonichu]] tells [[Rosechu]] about an online fan [[#sonichu|chat]] with some [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]]. After expressing appreciation for his gay fanbase, Sonichu immediately launches into a bizarre tirade about gay fans who have interpreted Sonichu as a homosexual icon. Eager to comfort him, Rosechu offers to fuck him right in the middle of the laundry room, but thankfully, they're cockblocked by an attack on CWCville by the PVCC and [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

At [[CWCville Shopping Center]], Acting Mayor Allison Amber is alerted to the attack and mobilizes the city's defenses. Besides the local police, she summons two groups never before seen in the series: CWCville's own team of [[Power Rangers]], and The [[Samurai Pizza Bots]].

The story then focuses on various locales throughout the city as the main characters fight off PVCC forces. Punchy and Layla battle [[Jerkops]] in the streets. Simonla and Wild defend CWCville Forest from Jerkops [[Chris and reality|driving through the trees]] in [[Punislav|transforming squad cars]]. Reginald and Angelica destroy several [[Decepti-Clone|Decepti-Clones]] at the church where the latter lives. On the waterfront, Blake and Bubbles intercept an entire fleet of [[Scoundrals As Vessels|S.A.V.'s]]. On the city's east side, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jerkops and Punislav robots. While Sonichu uses his typical powers, Rosechu attacks with some sort of lightning sword which she has never used before. Back at the mall, [[Patti-chan]] generates a magical barrier to repel the Jerkop army, while [[Zapina]], [[Darkbind Sonichu]], [[Jamsta]], and [[Lolisa]] fight Jerkops. Jamsta and Lolisa don't use any kind of special powers, possibly because they don't have any.

Over the skies of CWCville, [[Magi-Chan]] crashes a Crackder into a nearby body of water. He attempts to down an entire squadron of them this way, but he is ambushed by Silvana. The two claim to have met before, but it's brushed aside as Magi-chan tries to woo Silvana to the side of good. He claims he can restore her to her original gender, but Silvana refuses to abandon her "papa" Graduon, and they prepare to do battle.

Back at the mall, Wes-Li Sonichu reports to Mary Lee Walsh that they can't break through its defenses and that the "True Police" and "Outter Forces" have been holding the Jerkops back. She agrees to fly over the mall and back them up.

On the East Side, CWCville paramedics load defeated Jerkops into ambulances for "unbrainwashing". Sonichu is beginning to tire out from the battle, when Chris's Sonichumobile appears with a hologram of Chris in the driver's seat. It then transforms into [[Son-Chu]], who leads the other Autobots/Samurai Pizza Bots into the fray. During the skirmish, an awning collapses onto Sonichu, setting up the comic adaptation of [[Sonichu Fan Promo|timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos]]. While Sonichu is distracted, a Punislav captures Rosechu and flees the battlefield. Sonichu hears he screams and bursts out from under the awning to chase after her.

Elsewhere, S.A.V's set fire to an apartment building. Unable to escape, a woman opens the window and tosses out two Poké Balls, revealing [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[Blazebob Sonichu]]... just mere moments before the building explodes. A headband lands on the ground, revealing that their Trainer was none other than [[PandaHalo]]. As they mourn her death, the CWCville fire department arrives, and their chief demands that they help defend the city, as he assumes they are part of CWCville's defense force. Chloe attempts to explain that they're visitors from out of town, but Blazebob suggests that they help save the city to honor Panda's memory.

Meanwhile, Sonichu continues to race after the Punislav who captured Rosechu. He encounters an S.A.V. on the way, and dispatches it in a manner again based on [[Sonichu Fan Promo|timmy1984's Sonichu fan videos]]. Chris adds a note demanding that timmy1984 update his videos to conform to this version.

[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|[[Liquid Chris]] in furry form]]

Magi-Chan conveniently tells Sonichu where Rosechu is and who's waiting for him. As Sonichu rushes to CWCville park, he's ambushed by [[CChanSonichuCWC|IBAChandler]], a brown sonichu who seeks to take away credit from the other Electric Hedgehogs. After a brief struggle, Sonichu slashes at IBA's chest with Iron Tail. This changes him back into his [[Liquid Chris|human form]] and destroys his medallion as well. In contrast to [[Gun Comic|Chris's battle with Liquid]], Sonichu calls over an ambulance to tend to IBA's injuries. Before the medics can take him away, [[Trolls#Devil_Trolls|Devil Trolls]] from under the ground use their hair to grab IBA and drag him into the earth to safety.

===Showdown in CWCville Park===
Later, Sonichu arrives at CWCville Park to find Rosechu, unconscious and in the grips of the Punislav. With the Punislav are [[Eggman]], [[Reldnahc]] and [[Giovanni]], who threaten to kill Rosechu unless Sonichu swears loyalty to Reldnahc and makes him mayor of CWCville. Whether or not Sonichu actually has the authority to appoint a new mayor, he refuses. Before Giovanni can compel him to reconsider, [[Bionic]] blindsides him with a basketball, while [[Darkbind]] severs the Punislav's hand, releasing Rosechu. Sonichu wakes her up and cries like a bitch when she asks him what happened.

As Bionic and Darkbind explain what brought them to the battle, Reldnahc notices Bionic and seeks revenge for being hospitalized in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. He quickly throws a Poké Ball at Bionic's head, releasing a [[Pokémon|Nidoking]]. At first, the Nidoking overwhelms Bionic, until Sonichu kicks mud in its face. Magi-Chan explains that this weakens Nidokings, but Bionic ignores this advice and proceeds to beat the shit out of it.

Once the Nidoking faints, Reldnahc puts it back in its ball and attacks Bionic directly with his own dark version of Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], the Quee-fee-mae-mo-bo-bo Wave. Unfazed by this power, Bionic simply catches the energy and plays with it like a basketball, before finally bouncing it back at Reldnahc. Struck by his own "Curse of Embarassment", Reldnahc suddenly pisses and [[shit|shits]] himself. Completely humiliated by Bionic once again, Reldnahc teleports away in shame. Giovanni gathers the fallen Robotnik and they escape in Robotnik's vehicle.

The story suddenly flashes back to Magi-Chan, depicting his victory over Silvana in psychic combat. We then return to the present, where [[Megagi]] appears for no reason in a cheerleader's outfit to celebrate Bionic's triumph over Reldnahc.

===Also, a Bunch of Other Stuff Happened===
Magi-Chan summons Sonichu and Rosechu to reinforce the defense of the Mall. On the way, he telepathically fills them in on everything that's been going on that Chris didn't feel like drawing. While some Jerkops were successfully captured and sent off to be unbrainwashed, a lot of them were killed in the fighting. For some reason, the ''U.S. Army'' isn't entering the city, but rather is just picking up the defeated Decepti-Clones to recycle as scrap metal. Magi-Chan informs the reader that the "CWC-Power Rangers" dispatched [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who were turned into giants for the invasion. Finally, he tells Sonichu that Ivy was trapped in an elevator at the Mall, and during the battle the floor dropped out from under her, causing her to be strangled to death on the cables.

Chris includes a note to commemorate Ivy's death, but he neglects to spell her name properly.

===Endgame===
[[Image:Dirty trick.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon prevents Slaweel from falling to her death after Sonichu knocks her off her broom. To Christian, this constitutes a "[[Sandy Rosechu|dirty trick]]".]]
After all of the fighting, the parking lot surrounding the mall is nothing more than a bombed out wasteland. Mary Lee Walsh arrives at the dome first, but before she can cast her spell to remove the magic barrier, Sonichu and Rosechu show up. Wasting no time, Sonichu runs up the side of the building and launches himself into the air. Sonichu yanks Mary's broom away, but before she can fall, Count Graduon creates a magic platform for her. Sonichu then leaps down onto the platform and challenges Walsh to single combat.

As Rosechu looks on from below, Slaweel strikes with her pitchfork, then fires a bunch of purple orbs, Sonichu dodging all of them. Sonichu counters with a shot from his finger, knocking the pitchfork from her hand. As he spin-dashes towards her, Slaweel raises up a barrier to protect herself, but Sonichu shatters it with a Flash Kick (a la Guile), knocking Slaweel off the platform. She catches herself on the edge, but Graduon refuses to help her. Instead, Sonichu helps her back onto the platform, and as he leaps down to rejoin Rosechu, Mary decides to give up and go home.

On the ground, Rosechu catches Sonichu and asks why he saved Mary's life. Sonichu says that, as a hero, he couldn't let her die and that only Chris is allowed to land [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|the final blow]]. Why Sonichu let her ''escape'' is never discussed.

The story ends with the Chaotic Combo and their various mates gathered at the mall entrance. Sonichu declares that they need to clean up the city and get [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|the children]] back to watch [[Mary Poppins]]. The fact that their beloved city has been turned into a war zone apparently [[Chris and death|doesn't bother any of them very much]].

===Epilogue===
About a month later (9 August 2008), Wild spots an opening in the [[Time Void]] over CWCville Forest. Magi-Chan teleports in to explain that the moment has finally arrived to retrieve their "[[Chris|master and creator]]". Using Wild's vine-lines as a tether, Magi-Chan floats into the Time Void, and finds Chris. After Wild yanks them both back out, Chris explains to them his [[Sonichu 10|plans]], transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and races back to the city.

On the final page, Chris declares that once he has concluded his business in the next issue, he will no longer feature his "[[Excel Saga|Nabeshin-like intrusions]]" in the story, and the continuity of the comic will finally be separated from Chris's own reality. Indeed, [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]] would feature Chris to the exclusion of everyone else, almost as if he was making up for lost time. Of course, this promised new era of Chris-free Sonichu comics never materialized, as Chris abandoned the series after completing #10, leaving #11 less than half-finished.

Way to keep a promise, Chris.

==Extras==
[[File:MarriedWithChildren.png|thumb|Turns out they haven't been living in sin.]]
The comic ends, as most of Chris's comics do, with a few bonus pages. The first of these pages is simply the cover of ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' for the PS2, which is kind of odd considering he'd been playing the [[PS3]] for two years when this issue was published. The next page is some sort of PSA that Sonichu and Rosechu got married in [[2006]], but kept it a secret from everybody for three years for no reason at all. This image also features their three abominable [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|kids]] who are equal parts [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|disgusting]] and [[slow-in-the-minds|stupid]]. The issue wraps up with Chris displaying his knowledge of [[CADD]] (or lack thereof) with horrible diagrams of [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] and [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]'s homes, and a full-size scan of the caricature Chris used on the billboard earlier in the book. Unsurprisingly, the art is of a much higher caliber than [[Chris and art|anything]] that Chris could create.

{{clear}}

==Gallery==
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<center>{{collapsible
|Extras
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==External links==
* Episode 19 [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_1 Comic]
* Episode 20 [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_32 Comic]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Ivy Saga]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Sonichu 8

2015-02-21T16:22:35Z

DStecks: repaired archival links to the Sonichu Site.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #8
| cover = Sonichu8.jpg
| coverdate = 20 August 2008
| finishedcomic = 1 January 2009
| pagecount = 101
| episodes = 17-18
| sub-episodes = 3
| previous = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]
| next = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
}}{{Honest}} 

'''''Sonichu'' #8''' is the ninth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Based on the cover, this was originally planned as a [[Rosechu]] Spring Break special, featuring both [[Blanca Weiss]] and her character [[Jiggliami]] as introduced in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. However, by August [[2008]], Chris's focus was entirely on the [[trolls]], and that greatly altered the shape of this issue.

Chris unveiled Episode 17 in September 2008 without having first completed the entire issue, in a break from the established tradition. Rather than featuring a Spring Break story, Episode 17 presents a story of [[Sonichu]] and Rosechu fucking until they discover ''slanderous mislabelings'' on a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], whereupon Rosechu poses for nude photos of herself to prove that she doesn't have a penis. When Sonichu and Rosechu visit the 4-cent_garbage.com headquarters to confront the trolls, they are accosted by uncounted lurid images before meeting the wicked [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. Howell refuses their demands and kicks Sonichu's ass easily; then Rosechu strips nude for the third time and shoves her cunt in Howell's face. The purpose of this story is unclear beyond Chris's need to express his incomprehensible feelings about the world around him.

In the end, the long-awaited Spring Break story would appear as Episode 18, although it would not be completed for several more months following [[Blanca]]'s betrayal of Chris, his subsequent depression, and the massive distraction provided by playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris would not return to work on the comic until he was told of a boy named [[Ryan Cash]] who, despairing of ever seeing his beloved ''Sonichu'' comics again, committed suicide. Ryan's tragic story, and the sadness of his mourning brother [[Clyde Cash]], prompted Chris to redouble his efforts, and Rosechu finally got to go on Spring Break in the dead of winter.

''Sonichu'' #8 proved to be highly controversial, primarily due to the hardcore sex scenes between Sonichu and Rosechu, who had previously been described as being 16 and 15, respectively. Chris rushed to include scenes in this issue that would firmly establish both characters as being of legal age to avoid accusations of child pornography.

==Development==
A few months prior to episode 18, several plot points were leaked in [[Chris Sex Logs|audio conversations]] Chris had with his then-sweetheart.
{{clear}}
==Public Service Announcement==
Before the prologue, Chris has a disclaimer where [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] explain the morals of safe sex education. A horrifying sex scene was cut out.

[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|The disclaimer, as it appeared originally.]]
{{clear}}
==Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_1 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P1.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phFqXLjEt5s ''Episode 17''}}

The story opens with random proclamations from Chris:

*Sonichu turned 19 on March 17, [[2007]].
*Rosechu turned 18 on December 22, [[2006]].
*As of November 3, 2007, the pair have been living in a house in the suburbs of [[CWCville]]. The house has been fully paid for with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]] (although new Mayor [[BILLY MAYS]] may revise this item in the CWCville budget to fund smoking and drinking laws.).

Worth noting is that Sonichu and Rosechu's house is yellow and pink, just like its occupants.

Inside, Sonichu shows off his bare ass to the reader, while Rosechu emerges from the bathroom in pink lingerie. The pair engage in disgusting pre-coital banter, which may even be post-coital, since Rosechu suggests they just got done showering together. We also learn that Sonichu has a seven-inch (18 cm) cock, and requires "double-extra length" condoms for safe sex.

The two monsters engage in what they call "Missionary Cowgirl", apparently unaware that these are two completely different sexual positions. Rosechu responds by saying, "I think I can hotshot. Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." (The slot line is [[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]] from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

In a moment of illusory mercy, Chris interrupts the action to discuss the nature of Sonichu and Rosechu's reproductive organs. In fact, the reader is subjected to a new kind of horror, as Chris clumsily attempts to explain how naked cartoon characters can have tits and balls. For the most part, Sonichu/Rosechu biology is a sick parody of human anatomy, with the following key distinctions:

*A Rosechu's vagina or "[[china]]" is normally hidden from view by some hideous flap of skin, which recedes during urination, sexual arousal, or a "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|psych-up]]" attack.
*[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] nipples appear only when aroused, "for sensual massage". This would mean that Rosechus can only nurse their young when horny.
*Rosechus possess a "V-shaped pouch" behind their vaginal opening, which apparently serves the same function as a human uterus.
*A [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]'s penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect in order to urinate.
*Sex may be painful for Rosechu the first time, even causing her to bleed from her hymen, but it soon begins to feel like "a sensual massage."
*Sexually transmitted diseases are unheard of in the Sonichu/Rosechu population, which makes sense, given that there's fewer than twenty of the little freaks, and most of them were created abiogenetically.
*If impregnated, the resulting zygote is gestated within the mother Rosechu for "a few months," after which the Rosechu deposits an egg outside of her body, and must keep it warm until the infant [[Sonee]] or [[Rosey]] hatches. This reveals that all Rosechus are [[Wikipedia:monotremes|monotremes]] (egg-laying mammals).
Chris also declares that "most" STIs can be treated and removed, although it is unclear if he is referring to human STIs or bug-eyed furfag STIs. He refers the readers to local libraries and the internet for more information, and then returns to the hideous yiffing scene in the Sonichu household.

Chris treats the readers to a cock-eye view of Sonichu's penis falling out of his pelvis. As they 69 each other, Rosechu emits disgusting blue fumes from her ungodly orifice, which Sonichu appears to savor. Sonichu finally penetrates Rosechu with his sickening yellow member, and Chris depicts numerous scenes of past intercourse between the two wretched creatures. Grasping Rosechu's tail, Sonichu pounds away at Rosechu's gaping hole, until the two finally reach orgasm simultaneously.
{{clear}}
===Rage Against the Garbage===
{{Resources
| title = Rage Against the Garbage
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_3 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}}''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P2.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSw31YVQ_8c ''Episode 17''}}
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|300px|right|"[[Chris and art|They look so life-like.]]"]]
[[Image:Rosechustrips1.png|thumb]]
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|200px|right|"What a show!"]]
Twelve hours later, Sonichu seeks out even more putrid beast-sex from his sow, but Rosechu is too engrossed in her discovery of a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], which defames the good names of not only Sonichu and Rosechu, but their father [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] as well. Rosechu shows Sonichu various drawings of them and their friends (in fact, the [[Rule 34]] images Chris himself uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]), and Sonichu mistakes them for photographs.

Rosechu goes on to show him the "apex" of the site, referring to numerous drawings of herself with male genitalia. Overcome with nausea, Sonichu vomits. Unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, Sonichu insists that Rosechu is female, and cites her photoshoot in ''PokéBoy'' magazine as proof of her gender. Thinking that the dickgirl pictures were created by mistake rather than malice, Sonichu suggests they "prove" Rosechu's womanhood to 4-cent_garbage.com's staff in person. He nearly faints with weakness, and Rosechu puts him to bed to sleep off the trauma of seeing cartoon penises on the internet.

Incensed, Rosechu decides to retaliate by producing her own amateur photoshoot and uploading it to [[4-cent_garbage.com]] to counter the dickgirl artwork. Her efforts are fruitless, however, as even more Rosechu-with-penis drawings are uploaded all the time. Rosechu decides to consult [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for help.

At 1:45 that afternoon, Sonichu, Rosechu, and [[Wild Sonichu]] are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com Building in Clarksville, Tennessee, courtesy of [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. While Rosechu seeks to confront the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head of the company]] and protest the website, Wild has been tasked with locating one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], which Magi-Chan detected inside (likely in some feeble attempt to tie this story into the overall plot). While Sonichu contacted the mysterious head of the company to make their appointment, the only name given was "Jason." In a pathetic attempt at subtlety, Chris depicts [[Thurston Howell III]] and his wife walking down the street to hint at Jason's full name.

For no reason whatsoever, Wild expounds upon his childhood, telling a tedious story about how his father, a [[Scyther]], was captured by poachers in the jungle. He makes clear that he intends to avenge his father's death, despite not having mentioned it for the last eight issues. Wild turns invisible (a skill he learned from a passing Porygon), and slips into the building.

Sonichu and Rosechu enter through the main door, and find a [[Beel|demonic receptionist]] in the hellish atrium of the building. He rudely directs Sonichu to the seventy-second floor (66+6). In the elevator, Sonichu angrily whines about the receptionist, until Rosechu reminds him of the [[story of Joseph]], and its moral of [[Death threats|forgiveness]].

As Sonichu and his pink cum-dumpster ascend the building in the elevator, they stop occasionally to check out the [[4-cent_garbage#The_elevator_gags|strange things happening on various other floors]]. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at each floor to look at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever they see, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no reason. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not.

On the thirty-sixth floor, Wild finds a Sonichu ball in an empty room. Holding both of his Balls somehow prevents Wild from using his invisibility power, or contacting [[Magi-Chan]] for extraction. Wild is left with no choice but to sneak out of the building on his own, which is implied to be a feat of great difficulty despite the building containing a total of three adversaries.

On the seventy-second floor, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jason, who introduces himself as a 20-year-old [[troll]], and his companion [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]] as his "minory 17-year old woman," with whom everything he does is "illegal in these 50 states". When he bids the Electric Hedgehogs to state their case, Sonichu delivers a moving speech to convince Jason that the website needlessly drags names through the mud, and that it's morally wrong to troll innocent people. Jason responds by saying that the page will stay up forever.

Enraged, Sonichu attacks Jason, but he is no match for the troll's awesome powers. Rosechu elects to withdraw, preferring to forgive Jason since there is no reasoning with him. The two leave with their arms around each other, and Chris pointlessly interrupts the story to explain how the two crimes against nature can touch each other's spiny backs without getting hurt.

Adding insult to injury, Jason tosses a [[pickle]] at Rosechu, striking her on the back of the head. Pushed to the breaking point, Rosechu crushes the pickle, strips nude, and leaps into the air to attack Jason.

With ferocious roars (and a good deal of [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|plagiarism]]), Rosechu lands pelvis-first on Jason's head, and wraps her tail and legs around his body, SHOVING his face up her [[China|vagina]]. With sadistic glee, she claws open his head and bites down on the wound, then unleashes a powerful burst of electrical power. Sonichu even says she "had him going." Though dark forces somehow sustain Jason's life, he admits that the attack would have otherwise been fatal. Exhausted, Rosechu gathers her clothes, and leaves with Sonichu. While he is impressed with her display of raw fury, Rosechu is horrified at her primal rage, and makes some mention that she "transformed" into "[[The Incredible Lioness|some monster]]," expressing concern that "this thing" won't overtake her again. If Sonichu were a better comic, this might be interpreted as foreshadowing, but since it's Chris, this event will never be mentioned again.

Outside, the three Hedgehogs reunite, and [[Magi-Chan]] teleports them back to [[CWCville]].
{{clear}}

===Epilogue===

Later, Rosechu hosts a gathering of other Rosechus to protest [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and uphold [[Women's rights]] by producing pornographic photoshoots. In addition to [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Lolisa]], the group is joined by [[Simonla Rosechu]], who supplies the backdrops for the shoot and volunteers her services as a model. The group is also joined by [[Zapina Rosechu]], a fourteen-year-old who desperately wants to [[pedofork|"volunteer her services of cuteness"]] to the project and join in the stripping fun. Citing "dumb" laws<ref>While many argue that Chris is referring to "dumb laws" against child pornography, it is plausible he's referring to "dumb" child labor laws which would prohibit Zapina from participating in setting up lights, cameras, etc. for the photo shoot. In any case, Chris thinks it's "dumb" that a fourteen-year-old can't work, sexually or otherwise.</ref>, Rosechu refuses her help, but Lolisa offers to supervise Zapina as she uses the light from her mutant ass to illuminate the photoshoot.
{{clear}}

===Advertisement===

Chris introduces the Knothole in an ad filled with [[random-access humor]]. Some might consider this a [[parody]] of a parody, which [[Parody#Hypocrisy|Chris feels is improper]]. However, Chris has cleverly pre-empted such accusations by labeling it a tribute, turning the tables on his critics with the power of his high-functional mind.
{{clear}}

==Episode 18:"Spring Break, 2008!"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_60 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}
[[Image:LikeFatherLikeSon.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu squeezes and kisses Rosechu and leaves her feeling [[Megan|extremely uncomfortable]]. Like [[Christian Weston Chandler|father]], like son!]]
Apparently ''still'' concerned that someone will accuse him of being a [[Pedofork]], Chris establishes ''yet again'' that his characters are of legal age, this time by actually showing the birthday parties held for most of the main cast since Episode 17. Rosechu turns 19 on December 22, 2007. The [[Chaotic Combo]] turn 19 on February 2, 2008. Sonichu turns 20 on March 17, 2008.

Finally, [[Black Sonichu]] celebrates his birthday in a private get-together with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Blake disputes that he even has a birthday, since he was cloned from Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]] (and thus not born of a Rosechu's uterus, which is stupid because all the other Sonichus and Rosechus were hatched from fucking eggs anyway). Bubbles, however, insists that he is a 20-year-old "starting straight with a 2-year old body". Bubbles asks Blake what he wished for and he says "It's already come true", where Chris is either butchering the classic teen film "Sixteen Candles" or the Family Guy parody of it. The two kiss, and Black Sonichu agrees to rendezvous with Bubbles at the CWCville Spring Break Concert on March 22.

Chris introduces Spring Break by ripping off a gag from a ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode, wherein Meg Griffin tries to ignore Spring Break by flipping channels, only to find that every station is covering Spring Break, including the news. Chris repeats the joke almost verbatim, except he fails to include anyone actually watching the television, rendering the joke incoherent. The scene is best remembered for the appearance of ''[[Excel-Saga|FQX]]'' newswoman Greta Squall, a hideously deformed woman with club-like arms and scars on her face which look like the numeral "2".
{{clear}}
===Spring Break, 2008!===
{{Resources
| title = Spring Break, 2008!
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_66 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}}''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBk_MebLB0k ''Episode 18''}}
The story proper opens with [[KCWC]] DJs [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] covering the event.

{{quote|We have a lot of great events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor, Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] that [[CWCville]] is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or somkey! We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious [[CWC-Cola]], Diet CWC-Cola, Lemonade, Grape and Orange Soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola Bottling Company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] You can enter to win a 40-inch Sony HD-TV from Cwick-Circuit City, or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept. Also tonight, our rising star, [[Jiggliami]] will be singing her debut single, "War of Love" on the concert stage here at CWCville Beach. So stay tuned to CWCville, [[Virginia]]'s number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more!|Jamsta Sonichu, desperately craving nicotine and liquor}}

Almost immediately, Lolisa excuses herself to take a swim.

On the stage, Jiggliami and [[Blanca]] eagerly await their performance. As in their appearance in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], both of them babble incoherently about their music. Blanca maintains that she will wait for Chris to return from the time void — ironic, since Blanca had betrayed Chris long before this episode was uploaded to the internet.

On the beach, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy themselves. Like Franklin from [[Wikipedia:Peanuts|''Peanuts'']], characters with suntans are depicted with vertical lines for shading. When Chris does it, though, it just looks like the characters are shaking uncontrollably, teleporting, or just soaked with [[comeuppance|liquid]]. While Sonichu heads off to surf, the Rosechus lie on the beach.

Unprompted, Bubbles explains at length that she has no need for sunscreen, because she is incapable of tanning and impervious to sunburn. This has something to do with her being a Water-type Pokémon, her body being composed of 90% water (about the same as a watermelon), and her fur being capable of adapting itself to her surroundings. This rant comes despite no Rosechu or Sonichu ever being shown to tan, and how they would tan at all if covered in fur is anybody's guess.

The Rosechus notice a mysterious black Rosechu, and later catch up with [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[PandaHalo]] make a cameo appearance as well.

Bubbles's sunbathing is interrupted when Magi-Chan contacts her to collect a Sonichu Ball from the ocean. Before she can get up to find the ball, Black Sonichu kicks sand on the girls. Rosechu threatens to attack him, but Bubbles offers to do it herself, and pretends to force Black Sonichu away from the others. While she and Blake seem determined to hide their relationship, Rosechu and Angelica secretly know the truth, and laugh at the transparency of Bubbles's ruse.

Chris incorporates a drawing of Sonichu surfing by PandaHalo, yet he manages to ruin the continuity by drawing in different colored water around the edges of the picture. Also, Sonichu wasn't wearing his shoes earlier, but Panda's drawing shows him wearing shoes.

Elsewhere on the beach, Bubbles tells Blake of her mission to find the Sonichu Ball, and they agree to meet at Pier 969 later for disgusting sex. Little do they know that the black Rosechu from before has eavesdropped on their conversation. As she transforms into a duplicate of Bubbles, Chris introduces her as [[Silvana Rosechu]] and explains that hers was the ''sixth'' egg that emerged from the [[Rainbow]] along with the five eggs that became the Chaotic Combo. Silvana's egg wound up on the Earth's moon (Chris predictably does not explain how) where [[Count Graduon]] somehow made telepathic contact with her in [[1980s#1989|1989]]. As Mewtwo mentored the infant Magi-Chan Sonichu, so did Graduon raise Silvana. In addition to training her in the ways of evil, Graduon "upgraded" Silvana to have both male and female genitalia, and enabled her to change her shape.

In the Atlantic Ocean, Bubbles searches for the Sonichu Ball, passing by fan-favorite character [[Yawning Squirtle]], among other crappily drawn Pokémon who sing the song "Under the Sea" from ''[[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|The Little Mermaid]]'', yet another thing Chris has ripped off.

Magi-chan informs Bubbles that he Ball is claimed to be 5 miles (8 km) out to sea and, helpfully, "2,000-5,000 fathoms" (2.3 - 5.7 mi / 3,700 - 9,100 meters) below the surface, which is impossibly deep for Bubbles to dive (the deepest point of all the oceans is 6.8 mi / 10,900 meters). It's likely that Chris used "fathom" (6 feet / 183 cm) as a measurement of depth without bothering to find out how big a fathom was.

Meanwhile, Black Sonichu buys condoms in anticipation of the nasty, dirty animal sex he intends to share with his revolting mate. Silvana, posing as Bubbles, meets him, and convinces him not to wear a condom. Blake agrees, never suspecting Silvana's power to ejaculate a "paralyzing sleep solution" during intercourse. At Pier 969, Blake humps the foul creature, never suspecting that cock is ramming up against Silvana's own penis, which is perhaps withdrawn inside hir vagina. Blake passes out from the effects of Silvana's ejaculate, and she teleports him to a closet in the CWCville Beach stage. From there, she returns to Pier 969 disguised as Black Sonichu, and lays the same trap for Bubbles. What she had actually intended to ''do'' after systematically seducing and subduing the various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|recolors]] is never elaborated upon.

Before Bubbles goes to the pier, she hands off the Sonichu Ball to Angelica to ferry back to [[CWCville Mall]]. As she flies off, [[Punchy]] and Wild discuss their sex lives. Punchy wants to bang Angelica, and Wild seems uncertain what to do about his own loneliness. The two resolve to enroll in a Dating Education course offered at CWCville University, thus setting up the [[Sonichu 9|next shitty issue]].
[[File:BubblesXSilvana.jpg|thumb|Silvana's eventual goal.]]
At Pier 969, Bubbles meets Silvana, but before she can present her hindquarters for vomit-inducing copulation, she receives a telepathic message from Magi-Chan, warning her of the impostor. Why Magi-Chan knows the difference, and why he didn't warn Black Sonichu of the same thing, is left to the reader's imagination. Bubbles is sceptical at first, but Jiggliami calls to inform her that she has discovered Black Sonichu in the stage closet. When Black Sonichu himself warns her of the danger, the dumb slut finally begins to put two and two together. Bubbles exposes Silvana by asking her to attack her with Black Sonichu's electrical powers. Despite the fact that Transform grants the user the ability to mimic all moves known by the target, Silvana instead opts to use her own psychic attack to simulate Blake's power, but Bubbles knows the difference. Silvana reveals herself, and teleports away before Bubbles can avenge Blake's manhood. Horrified, she returns to Blake's side to comfort him.

That night, Jiggliami finally performs the damned song Chris had been promoting for four months. Chris credits Blanca Weiss for composing the lyrics on August 20, 2008, which contradicts the premise of Jiggliami performing the same song on March 22, 2008. Also, the song, "War of Love", makes no sense whatsoever, and resembles the sort of crap Chris writes all the time.

As an epilogue of sorts, Chris establishes that Blanca found "her boyfriend" and returned to her home state of Kentucky, despite previously establishing that she intended to wait for Chris to return from the time void. Acknowledging his own personal life, Chris briefly discusses the three [[Trolls|women]] he was involved with during the fall of 2008. Chris claims to have been uncertain about which one to pursue, and credits God and Jesus for eliminating two of them by having [[Optimus Prime]] kill [[Sarah Jackson]], and revealing the second to be in alliance with the trolls. Presumably, this is meant to refer to Blanca, even though Chris has depicted her as his girlfriend in this very story. The third woman, [[PandaHalo]], Chris declares to be his True Sweetheart, and the person he would promise his [[sex|first time]] to, although he would abandon her for dead within two months.

In a small note on the last page, Chris acknowledges the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]], and admits a modicum of responsibility for his death.
{{clear}}
==Alternate versions==

When originally uploaded to [[Sonichu.net]], Chris offered multiple versions of the Episode 17, depending on which link the reader selected. These were based upon the ratings system used for television content.

[[Image:TVMA.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-MA''': The uncut version of the comic. It was quickly unlinked from the site; however, all files still remained available.
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TV14.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-14''': A censored version of the above comic. Mostly, this is accomplished by Chris putting photographs of bananas over Sonichu's dick, an orange over Rosechu's vagina, and blue stars on her nipples. Other objects are used throughout the issue to conceal nude pictures Chris took from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. These lousy edits can be seen [http://www.mediafire.com/?tt0s91mnmez here]
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TVY7.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-Y7''': A version which omitted many pages of the original story. Chris appears to have created "Rage Against the Garbage" with these edits in mind, as the TV-Y7 pages are numbered normally, while the pages featuring nudity and sex were lettered (e.g. page 19-A, 19-B, etc.). As the sexual content in the story was gratuitous and pointless in the first place, removing it did little to harm the quality of the work, except that the plot is significantly altered. Since Rosechu's faceraping of Jason had to be removed, the TV-Y7 version implies that Sonichu and Rosechu left peacefully, never to revisit the matter again.

Chris would rearrange the content in the TV-14 version numerous times before finally settling on a single version of the story, with most of the nudity removed yet with Rosechu's facerape attack left in. The hedgehog porn was reportedly removed at the request of his parents, and Chris would later add a message to his site stating his solemn vow to never again depict his characters engaged in sexual activity. This promise was soon broken when Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] and snuck all of the deleted scenes there.

===The uncensored scenes===

By popular demand, here are the uncensored images from ''Sonichu'' #8, including the ones from Episode 17's prologue that now appear on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia's 'Biology' page underneath 'Reproductive Biology of Sonichu and Rosechu'].

{{collapsible
|Uncensored images from Sonichu 8 (abandon hope all ye who enter here)
|<gallery perrow="5">
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==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 17
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<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 18
|<gallery perrow="5">
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</gallery>}}</center>

==Links==

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCjgNF0NTwQ Examining Sonichu & Rosechu Audiobook]

==Sources and Notes==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Sonichu 0

2015-02-21T16:19:53Z

DStecks: repaired archival links to the Sonichu Site.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #0
| cover = issuezero.jpg
| coverdate = 24 November 2004
| began = 3 January 2004
| finishedcomic = 24 March 2005
| pagecount = 45
| episodes = 1-3
| sub-episodes = 1
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]
}}
'''''Sonichu #0''''' is the first issue of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s "[[Sonichu (comic)|masterpiece]]". At this point, the comic was ''almost'' entirely about [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], although bits of Chris's life still managed to find their way in.

The "hand-drawn premiere issue" is a special zero issue. In the comics industry, zero issues are used as either a sales-enhancing gimmick or a special preview of work that will not truly begin until issue #1. We're not sure which one Chris was going for.

The comic consists of Sonichu's first three adventures. In "Sonichu's Origin," the core cast of the series is introduced as Sonichu and Rosechu are created. Then, in "Genesis of the Lovehogs," the two protagonists meet and immediately fall in love. Finally, in "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc," our yellow hero does battle with his first real villain, who but foreshadows the challenges awaiting the hedgehogs in the following issue. Bonus material in ''Sonichu'' #0 includes various advertisements for imaginary Sonichu products, "classic" Sonichu comic strips drawn outside of the narrative of the main comic book.

Chris began working on ''Sonichu'' #0 by creating the cover on 24 November [[2004]] (although many of the classic strips predate this). He completed the primary story on 15 March [[2005]], although he was inspired by real-life events to return to this work and add the first-ever sub-episode featuring himself.

==Episode 1: "Sonichu's Origin"==
{{clear}}
{{Resources
| title =Sonichu's Origins
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_1 ''Episode 1''
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_1{{!}}''Episode 1''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP1.htm ''Episode 1''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVmyW9stnYs&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=0 ''Episode 1''}}
===Disclaimer Page===
{{quote|<nowiki>*Any names</nowiki>, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[parody|parodic]].<nowiki>*</nowiki>|The Disclaimer}}
''Sonichu'' #0 features the first instance of the Disclaimer Page, in which Chris draws a squiggly line of insanity around the definitions of [[copyright]] and [[parody]]. This page will bear repeating in every subsequent episode, and is read before every [[Videobook]].
[[File:Sonichu fanart.png|thumb|right|Unfortantely, this is [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|tablet-drawn, so it's terrible]].]]
===Synopsis===
A wild male [[Pikachu]] wanders through a field until he notices catastrophic destruction five "[[Chris and English|mies]]" away in [[Station Square]], where the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] is running rampant. He runs to the city, where he finds [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] battling the monster, using the [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic. Perfect Chaos counterattacks, hurling Sonic directly into the Pikachu, with the resulting collision causing the Chaos Emeralds' energy to mingle with that of Pikachu's, releasing a powerful [[rainbow]] (with the wrong order of colors) into the sky.

Fifteen miles away, the rainbow touches down in front of the house of Pokémon trainer [[Kel]], whose female [[Raichu]] is caught in the blast. At both endpoints of the rainbow, the Pokémon are transformed into hedgehog-like creatures. Kel discovers that her Raichu is now pink, standing upright, wearing a red dress, and capable of human speech. She remarks that this new species of Pokémon is "as pretty as a rose," and thus coins the name [[Rosechu]].

The former Pikachu awakens from the collision with Sonic and, failing to notice his transformation, joins Sonic in the battle against Perfect Chaos. His thunder attack defeats the monster, and the gathering crowd mistakes him for Sonic (who has now departed until [[Sonichu 1]]) as they cheer him on. Later, after considering his new role in the universe, he names the species he has evolved into "Sonichu", in honor of his brief ally.

{{quote|I am no longer a Pikachu, so with inspiration, I am now... SONICHU!}}

Episode 1 will later on be remade as a [[LittleBigPlanet]] [[LittleBigPlanet videos#Sonichu Episode 1 LittleBIGPlanet Level|level]].

==Introductions==
{{Resources
| title =Introductions / Genesis of the Lovehogs
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_8 ''Episode 2''
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_2{{!}}''Episode 2''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP4.htm ''Episode 2''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os-nNkWnNpo&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=1 ''Episode 2''}}
Cartoon CWC takes some time out of the thrilling saga of Sonichu to provide exposition about key elements of the upcoming stories, with profiles on [[CWCville]] (as Chris puts it, the "cartoon world"), Sonichu, Rosechu, Kel, [[Naitsirhc]], [[Black Sonichu]], the [[Chaotic Combo]], and [[Flame the Sunbird]]. Chris hints at the significance of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], [[Saramah Rosechu]], and [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and briefly mentions the villains of the series: [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]]. The greatest attention is given to [[Chris and his ego|Christian himself]] and the fact that [[Love Quest|he needs a girlfriend]].

==Episode 2: "Genesis of the Lovehogs"==
[[Image:202-SchuRchuKissPSPWall.jpg|thumb|"Mine, and '''THE FIRST''' romantic attempt, and I did an ''AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB''"....]]
[[Sonichu]] is wandering through the forest. A week has passed since he was forcefully evolved by the power of the Chaos Emeralds, and he has found that in his larger form he cannot receive adequate subsistence from the diet of a [[Pikachu]] (which is nuts and apples). He is also overcome with a newly found sense of loneliness, being the only [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] in existence--at least, insofar as he is aware.

Just then Sonichu notices [[Rosechu]] standing by a stream. He is [[Love Quest|instantly attracted]] to this similar species of hedgehog, and quietly stalks her as she returns to her home. Lurking in the bushes, Sonichu sees that Rosechu lives with her trainer, [[Kel]], and decides that he can [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|beg this person for food]].

Inside, Rosechu [[Stress sigh|complains]] of her own loneliness. Kel generously offers her [[Pokémon#David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite|Dragonite named David]] for [[Hanky-Panky|companionship]], but Rosey dismisses the idea, since a Dragonite's cock is too big for even her own gaping holes. Just then Rosechu answers a knock at the door to find Sonichu [[June_2014_Facebook_Posts#Wow|panhandling for change]]. Immediately smitten, she aggressively pulls him into the cabin and has Kel cook them dinner.

Within a few days, Sonichu and Rosechu are inseparable. One night, while staring at [[the Moon]] out by the lake, they interlock tails and share their first kiss, in the first of many heartwarming love scenes.

Given [[Christian]]'s own [[Love Quest|inability to get laid]], "Genesis of the Lovehogs" provides fascinating insight into how he believes romance is supposed to work: Boy sees girl, [[Megan|boy stalks girl for five minutes]], girl wants to have sex with boy the second she lays eyes on him.

===Advertisement 1===
The first of many [[parody]] ads appears between Episodes 2 and 3; this particular ad is for two ill-fated Sonichu games for Game Boy Advance: ''[[Sonichu Advance]]'' and ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]''.
{{clear}}

==Episode 3: "Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc"==
{{Resources
| title =Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_19 ''Episode 3''
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Episode_3{{!}}''Episode 3''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP10.htm ''Episode 3''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj3872mqS10&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=2 ''Sonichu 3''}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|THE BUN IS IN YOUR MIND]]

===Synopsis===
We find Sonichu in [[CWCville Mall]], confronting [[Naitsirhc Giovanni]] riding a [[Zapdos]] that is clutching [[Rosechu]] in its talons. When hostage negotiations fail, the battle is on, and Sonichu briefly recalls how the situation arose.

Earlier in the day, [[Kel]] took her Pokémon into town to run errands, and allowed Rosechu to go shopping with Kel's credit card. Sonichu was entrusted to restrain Rosey's uncontrollably lavish spending, typical of a female, but he quickly abandoned this duty to please his lover. Later in the food court, the couple visited a fast food restaurant; since Rosechu has lady-parts she could only eat salad, while Sonichu attempted to eat a [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Baffler Meal]] and became sick from eating [[pickle]]s. It was at this point that Zapdos ambushed the hedgehogs, capturing Rosey.

Using standard Pokémon fighting techniques, Sonichu shows up Zapdos with his Sky Uppercut and Mega Kick. For the ''coup de grâce'', Sonichu uses Double Team to confuse Zapdos with mirages of himself; he then uses this diversion to rescue Rosey before his duplicates zap the Zapdos, defeating it. Naitsirhc recalls the Zapdos to its Poké Ball, and swears he will challenge Sonichu again before riding off on a [[Raikou]].

Since this is Sonichu's first public outing in which he is not mistaken for [[Sonic]], he is heralded as a hero by the people of CWCville. [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] makes his debut as a full-fledged character, and, in his capacity as the city's mayor, congratulates the yellow hedgehog.

Later, in the first of many segments that break the fourth wall, Christian and Sonichu leave the mall talking about the high quality of this issue of Sonichu, and Sonichu expresses amazement and incredulity when he learns that Christian's obvious talent has not earned him a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. Christian drives off to the [[Fashion Square Mall]] to continue his [[Love Quest]], while Sonichu morbidly admires his father's persistence in the face of certain failure. That a newly-created Pokémon immediately recognized Chris as his "father" is never actually explained.

===Analysis===
[[Image:SchuComicPage25_detail.jpg|thumb|Gotta Catch 'Em All!]]
Episode 3 is a good example of early [[CWCville]]. Sonichu is just a Mary Sue for Christian to play in a Sonic-inclusive-Pokéworld. Naitsirhc's motivation is that he's ''GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL'' for his gangster father, Giovanni. Contrast this with his later incarnation, [[Reldnahc]], or Chris's enemies in the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].
{{clear}}

==Classic Sonichu Strips==
{{Resources
| title =Classic Sonichu Strips
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_28 ''Classic Strips''
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Classic_Comic_Strips{{!}}''Classic Strips''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP14.htm ''Classic Strips''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_XS09cbMpM&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=3 ''Episode 3''}}
Pages 28-34 of this issue feature comic strips drawn throughout [[2004]].

# 25 years into the future, [[Sonichu]] (now evolved into [[Metonic]]), recycles a joke from [[Excel Saga]] while chopping logs. The title of the strip is by itself a recycling of "Mobius 25 Years Later", an arc from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Comics|Sonic comics]]
# Sonichu asks Rosechu how things are going, and she explains she's been busy "being beautiful" but confesses that she hates working so hard at it (which is what all women do). Sonichu demonstrates his amazing ability to listen to women and respect their feelings (hint, hint, YOUNG LADIES) until Rosey calls out [[Black Sonichu]] for stalking them.
# "Christian & Sonichu vs. the Mastermind": [[Christian]] and Sonichu defeat [[Mary Lee Walsh]] with the combined power of Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Sonichu's thunder attack.
# Sonichu and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] rescue [[Barbara Chandler]] from [[Naitsirhc]]. Barbara is depicted characterizing Sonichu as Christian's son.
# [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is beaten up by [[jerkops]], under orders from Mary Lee Walsh. Rosechu can only stand by helplessly, as she lacks a [[pickle|penis]]. Nevertheless, [[Sarhamah Rosechu]] arrives to save Chris, so that he can reassure himself that he is still important in the life of a woman he cannot have sex with. This Sub-[[Sub-Episode]] is later reincorporated into [[Sub-Episode 7]], in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].
{{clear}}

==Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"==
{{Resources
| title =Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_35 ''Sub-Episode 1''
| videobook =Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Sub_Episode_1{{!}}''Sub-Episode 1''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComicP18.htm ''Sub-Episode 1''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxkUuXyv3A&feature=PlayList&p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=12 ''Sub-Episode 1''}}
[[Image:Jerkhief_my_soul_hurts.jpg|thumb|MY SOUL HURTS!]]
One year and seven months into [[Christian]]'s [[Love Quest]], he ponders his lack of progress while listening to music on his Nintendo DS. Just then, the enormously fat [[niggos|black]] [[Jerkhief]] towers over Chris, rightfully calling him out and accusing Chris of soliciting sex. Chris is outraged by this insult, and valiantly defends his honor. The Jerkhief summons his [[Jerkops]] to handcuff Chris, but his keen tactical mind allows him to spot his assailant and dodge them, causing a Jerkop to handcuff himself. Chris backhands another Jerkop square in the face, giving him enough breathing room to transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Homos|tells everybody to dance now...]]

The Jerkhief responds by summoning his Metal Armor, and a pitched battle begins. Chris-Chan uses Mega Kick, Double Team, Mirror Coat, and Thunderbolt to disarm the Jerkhief, and honorably offers mercy to his defeated foe. But the Jerkhief is without honor; defiant to the end, he fires a handgun at Chris-Chan, who uses Barrier to deflect the pitiful attack.

His enemy beaten, Chris decides to unleash his Special Ultimate Attack, the dreaded [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]. The Jerkhief initially feels no adverse effect and rises to fight back, but the curse soon sets in; he slips on a banana peel, breaks his glasses, and learns that his wife has just divorced him over his smoking habit, taking the custody to his kids, house, and everything he owns with her. The Jerkhief's life is shattered, and Chris makes sure the broken man understands that his has reaped what he sowed. The Jerkhief cries that his soul hurts; Chris [[Chris and his Ego|callously responds that he's suffered worse.]]

Sub-Episode 1, along with the other Sub-Episodes, is reprinted in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].

===Advertisement 2===
''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'', coming <s>soon</s> never exclusively for Nintendo Game Cube! Note that Chris draw most of the Game Cube dress by hand, but likely forgot the "Only for" label and thus had to photoshop it in.

This ad appeared between the Classic Sonichu Strips and Sub-Episode 1 in the initial release of ''Sonichu'' #0, but moved to the back cover on the more recent [[CWCipedia]] version. This can actually make it difficult to find, since the CWCipedia links are [[autism|frequently broken]]. Ads for ''Sonichu Adventure'' would continue to run in future issues, all the way through to [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]].
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
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==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Sonichu (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (character)]]
*{{c|Sonichu 0 Cover Parodies}}

==External links==

[https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBYThURjdTbjFEMWs Download this episode as a .zip file]

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Talk:Power

2014-01-16T17:57:01Z

DStecks: /* YouTube Video */

==YouTube Video==
I made a video with all three "power" videos (plus the dick sound file) combined and put it on YouTube. I don't want to seem like a self-promoting ho or anything though, so do you guys think it's okay?
<center>{{#ev:youtube|TREWHpjD2Rc}}</center>
--[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 05:06, 29 April 2009 (CEST)
*Just do it, faggot. Self promotion is only bad if it's not constructive... [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 05:42, 29 April 2009 (CEST)
** Roger. --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 05:48, 29 April 2009 (CEST)

*Video's gone private. Anybody got a backup? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 09:57, 16 January 2014 (PST)

==Armpits==

I see no hair. So he either shaves his pits, which is pretty gay, or really has no testosterone whatsoever. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 23:32, 10 July 2009 (CEST)
*It's likely he shaves. Megan said she liked hairless guy and well, Chris has gone since then. For instance, he also seems to shave his stomach since you can see razor bumps on it in some of his nudes. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:42, 10 July 2009 (CEST)

File talk:ZuriAlryte.jpg

2012-07-19T03:16:17Z

DStecks:

Is it just me, or does Zuri look lighter than Chris and Kiera? --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 01:14, 18 May 2010 (UTC)

D-Does she have a tatoo of a lightning bolt on her arm? Haha. Oh wow. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 02:51, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

LOOK AT THAT FACE GODDAMN. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:16, 18 July 2012 (PDT)

User:DStecks

2012-06-01T21:01:04Z

DStecks:

{{Canuckfag}}
{{AssBurger}}
{{Troper}}

Hey, it's me, DStecks, and I'm an amateur internet comedian doing a review of Sonichu that I'd love for you to check out:
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x01 Part 1]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x02 Part 2]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x03 Part 3]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x04 Part 4]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x05 Part 5]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x06 Part 6]
[http://www.dstecks.com/br/00x07 Part 7]

I also have a back-up of the "Yep, I'm on TV" DVD, so if you ever want it, just drop me a pm on the CWCki Forums.

File talk:JackSweetheart.jpg

2012-06-01T20:56:00Z

DStecks: /* Nude Set */

Anyone else here looking at her and thinking "jailbait"? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 18:40, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
*Yes,yes I do.[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 18:47, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
* I was thinking "so far out Chris' league it's hilarious," but, now that you mention it... - [[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 22:06, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
* THIS IS JACKIE!? I know she said she had low standards, but come on! She could do SO MUCH better. - [[User:ninjaclown|ninjaclown]] 05:45, 15 September 2010 (UTC)
**...You really don't get how this works, do you? [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 13:21, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

== Nude Set ==

I swear I have seen more pictures of this girl without clothes. Same bathroom and everything. Is this part of a a porn set? [[User:Dave|Dave]] 12:35, 3 December 2010 (PST)
*Gee, if only there were some kind of WEBSITE that specialized in REVERSE IMAGE SEARCHES FUCK [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:52, 3 December 2010 (PST)
**I wasn't really asking to see it, just acknowledge the existence of it. Thanks for answering the question anyways. [[User:Dave|Dave]]
***OMGWTFLYNX [http://encyclopediadramatica.se/File:1275293798115.jpg ED 2 DA RESCUE!!!]--[[User:Dan Dash|Dizzurp Dash]] 12:46, 28 February 2011 (PST)
****You might want to take away the .com at the end of that filename. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 12:49, 28 February 2011 (PST)
*****FIX'D--[[User:Dan Dash|Dizzurp Sizzurp]] 14:16, 28 February 2011 (PST)
******It's .se nao. Just had to see it. :D --[[User:NFSW|NFSW]] 12:57, 2 April 2012 (PDT)
*If the original site for them ever goes down, I've got the full set. I downloaded it for archive purposes. Yup. So, send me a pm on the cwcki forums if you ever want it. You know, to archive it. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 13:56, 1 June 2012 (PDT)

Examples of Chris's Ego

2012-05-25T03:00:13Z

DStecks: Corrected "wave pool" to "wading pool"

Here's an exhaustive list of '''Examples of Chris's Ego''' in the real world and in the Sonichu Comic. The list is so long that it warrants its own page!

==In the real world==

===School===
*[[Manchester High School]] - When Chris graduated from high school, he actually cried because he believed that he deserved a number of artistic awards for his [[Chris and art|artwork]]. By his own admission, he also made a scene and ran out after getting his diploma, eventually having to be consoled by both his [[mother]] and gal-pal [[Tiffany Gowen]].
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] - After being expelled for his [[Chris and anger|appalling behavior]] by the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Student's Dean]], Chris felt the need to write to the Then-Standing President of the United-States, [[George W. Bush]]. The idea that a standing President would be willing to use his clout to reverse a local community college's administrative decision is ludicrous at best.

===Public places===
*[[Wal-Mart]] - When asked to cease his solicitation, Chris refused to budge, rambled on in some stupid speech, and actually ''ran''. He would do this again in a [[Target]] soon after, only to be arrested in the process.
*[[The GAMe PLACe]] - Chris acted in this store as if he owned the place. He was rude with the patrons, abused the access to a flat-screen TV, and was an all-around pain for the manager, [[Michael Snyder]]. After many antics, he was banned from the place. Chris filmed a half-assed [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apology]] nine months later, not because he was sorry for his actions, but because the store was the only place that had [[Eye of Judgement]] cards. Chris has also attempted to incite harassment of employees of the store (using the very fans he had chastised mere weeks earlier), simply because Michael had refused to remove his ban.
*[[McIntire Park]] - During a newscast, Chris happened to pass by a cameraman who was videotaping someone being interviewed. As he did, he flashed his Sonichu [[medallion]] as if to say "Hey, look at me! I'm more important!" Sometime later, he appeared in a town hall meeting over the park itself. He flashed his shitty Sonichu and Rosechu drawing in a bizarre attempt to save it, then tried to interrupt the proceedings with a speech about how he didn't want to pay for a YMCA membership when the recognized speaker made the mistake of referring to him. He was no doubt trying to gain sympathy by noting that it would make an ostensible retard sad to build the YMCA. Chris also requested that the wading pool be deeper, most likely meaning the wading pool was not meant to be used by a full grown adult. Chris was promptly and thankfully shot down.

===With people===
*[[Sarah Hammer]] - One of Chris's first crushes, Chris made the small booklet ''[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]'' in an attempt to win her over on her 21st birthday. The booklet was more a major ego trip, talking more about him and less about her, with the two of them replaced with Sonichu and Rosechu. He later cast her in his Sonichu comic and having her break up with [[Wes Iseli]] before disposing her when she was married away to [[William Spicer]].
*[[Megan Schroeder]] - For the longest time, Chris actually believed that he and Megan were going out as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even attacked someone for getting near Megan. When the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] picture was discovered, Chris actually thought that the reason she was upset was because she wasn't used to sexual things. He then tried to make Megan believe that the bullying from those amongst [[ED]] was MUCH worse than the fact that he did the picture because he was afraid of trying to rape her. He also insisted that he was under much more emotional pain than she was. Chris would later blame ED for the fact that he lost her friendship, not caring it was his fault in the first place.
*[[Jerkops]] - Thanks to Chris's various run-ins with the law, Chris has a very skewed view of law enforcement. After being tossed out of [[Wal-Mart]] and [[Target]], he deemed that security guards were evil and just trying to play [[Kick The Autistic]] and prevent him from completing his [[Love Quest]]. However, following his arrest on [[28 October 2011]], Chris has now assumed that ''all'' law enforcement is evil and has gone out of his way to make sure they never take him into any sort of custody again.
*[[10 September 2009]] - Chris, in his ever-growing paranoia, automatically assumes that a possible interview from Veronica Belmont of ''PlayStation Magazine Europe'' is a troll because the person didn't leave a return number, demanding that if she truly wanted to interview him, she should come ''personally'' to his house... then starts trying to suck up to her just in case it wasn't a troll.
*[[Rejected Mailbag]] - Chris hates being proven wrong, especially about Asperger's and autism being part of the same spectrum. He also takes issue with letters that point out the flaws in his comic pages, which is interesting considering he has no problem telling fans about the flaws he finds in their fan art, calling it "constructive criticism". He's gone from simply ignoring people correcting his mistake to placing these "offending" letters in his rejected mailbag. Even more, when any of the letters mention the similarities between autism and Aspergers, he tosses them into his "Autism Mailbag" and whenever someone tries to mention anything else connected to his past, he automatically goes into a "mental block" and refuses to go any further. On 5 December 2009, Chris wrote a long essay that made little sense, which mainly consisted of him bawwwing that he was a unique and special snowflake, and that Aspies are faking fakers that take away the specialness of his autism. Despite autism and Asperger's existing in the populace long before he was born, and Chris being a [[virgin with rage]], Chris also states that he [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"...Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People".]]
*[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|The Sonichu promotional video]] - In the Part 2 of his video, Chris shows to the camera an elegant drawing of the two main heroes of the comic book made by a fan called Allie. Not only does he proceed to comment "Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her," he presents an actual, sub-par copy of the drawing made by himself as a better version.
*[[Chris and Copyright|Copyright claim against Vivian Gee]] - For the most part, Chris ignored the [[Audiobooks]] that were being made out of his comics. However, when he found out that they were being "sold", Chris issued [[Death threats]] against [[Vivian Gee]], threatening to kill her AND [[Clyde Cash|her family]]. He then released his own [[Official Videobooks]], which he believed to be better than Vivian's. These consisted of holding up the TRUE and ORIGINAL pages up to a camera and waving the page around as he stumbled through the dialogue, made childish sound effects, and failed to explain what was actually going on. He excused himself a month later and asked for a quote of 25% out of the donations she received for her hard work. It is worth mentioning that the excuse AND the demand for a share of the profits were in the same e-mail, separated by a single dot.
*[[Jimmy Hill]], [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - While Chris is more than willing to declare Sonichu as a parody so he can make his multimedia franchise, he blows his stack whenever someone ''actually'' parodies Sonichu and himself. He threatened "legal action" during the Jimmy Hill saga and went all out to prove himself the True and Honest Chris when Liquid showed up. During the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], when Liquid threatened to go to the police over the Gun Comic, Chris was certain that the police would be more concerned over the fact that someone was impersonating him than the fact that he threatened to murder him. When Alec Benson Leary's Asperchu began to be more popular than Sonichu, Chris decided to pull a number of things, including a moment of "pot calling the kettle black" in which he decries Asperchu as crappy because it was computer drawn.
*[[Father Call]] - When talking to [[Kacey]]'s father, his ego clashed horribly against Matt's attempts to get through to his head, comparing losing a loved one to Chris losing his [[Patti|dog]], declaring that mowing the lawn (a menial task at that) was tough work and utterly missing various cues to people's hardships, such as when Matt told him that his mother pulled weeds while inflicted with arthritis. Chris could only apologize for her having arthritis, not be impressed by the feat.
*[[Evan]] - When Evan created the character "Simonchu" as a joke, Chris took it, turned it into a girl and renamed her "[[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]]". When Evan got tired of Chris using the monstrosity, he demanded that he kill her. Chris has refused many times but in [[Mailbag 43#...Well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]] took the cake: he told Evan, in detail, how his Simonchu would try to take back Simonla, how Wild Sonichu would defend and defeat Simonchu and Simonla would return to Evan's "ECGVille" and say that she didn't want to come back, all under Chris's GDC ("Great Director Chandler") powers.
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]] - Chris was convinced that Miyamoto, who is a world-famous video game designer and creator of beloved and legendary icons like Mario and Zelda, would not only be honored to meet him, but in fact even ''more'' honored to meet Chris than Chris would be to meet him. Then, even after having his game proposal rejected by Miyamoto, Chris still remained convinced that Miyamoto was only "holding out on [him]" and would surely accept his offer in the near future.
*[[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] - Chris loves to hold some form of superiority over people he doesn't like, and the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|calls Alec made]] to Chris are great examples. Chris calls Alec's art "crappy" several times, his reasoning being that it is drawn with a tablet, and doesn't have the "character" that his own pencil-and-paper methods apparently convey. He also tells Alec he is "obviously naïve" because he ''doesn't'' believe that cartoon and comic book characters have real feelings and hasn't been deceived countless times by trolls, and implies that he thinks Alec is pathetic in a rather snide tone of voice, despite having no real reasons to back this up. Despite Alec actually being genial to him during the first few calls, Chris attempts to insult and demean him anyway, and acts like a child being scorned when Alec inevitably becomes angered by this. In [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|one call]], Chris actually has the balls to tell Alec that there was a price to pay for making him kill off Simonla - Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao's deaths in the comic.
*[[Bob Chandler]] - On 01 [[March 2010]], Chris [[twitter|tweeted]] the sad news that Bob Chandler, Chris's father, was hospitalized with a life-threatening heart condition. Instead of asking for prayers, like many [[Chris and religion|Christians]] do, or putting his comic on hold, he whined about the [[stress]] it caused him and talked about the newest dates for release of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu 11]]. The next day, he released [[02 March 2010|two]] [[Surfshack Tito|videos]]. Neither had any info on or mention of his father or his condition. He didn't even update [[CWCipedia|his website]] or his [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog|blog]] with the sad news. Here's the sum of all the love and concern Chris expressed for his Dad: one and a half lines of the 11 tweets he sent that afternoon.<ref>[http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Twitter]</ref>
*[[Fans]] - Ever since day one, Chris has treated his fanbase like shit. He insulted one of the few fans he had, shrugs his shoulders and says "Whatever" whenever a fan tells him they were going to leave, and then he expects them to come to his aid whenever it's necessary. When Chris lost his latest [[gal-pal]] due to troll interference, not only did he attack the trolls, he also attacked his fans, claiming that they have no life of their own and comparing them to Mary Lee Walsh in trying to stop him from finding a sweetheart. Hilariously, Chris thinks that he has over a billion fans. Let's put this into perspective: The internet has close to ''two billion users''. Chris thinks he has half of them.
*[[The Wallflower]] - The Wallflower was a woman Chris hung out with outside of the Young Adult Social Group. In an article in the CWCipedia, Chris shoves the blame on The Wallflower herself, saying that she should never have had a Facebook page or Fanfiction.net page and that, because she refuses to give ''him'' an apology for this, despite the fact it should be ''him'' to ''her'', she will forever hold the guilt of breaking his heart. In addition, Chris claims that the two of them had "exchanged DNA" at the movies and that she was his girlfriend in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"C-Ya Later" video]], when in reality, they were never more than friends. A recent video shows that he ''still'' thinks she was his girlfriend and he still hasn't let go of her.
*[[Trolls]] - One of the things that has enraged even casual Christorians is his smugness towards even his trolls. In Chris's own mind, he has came up with the image that they are actually [[homos]]exual [[niggos|blacks]] who are jealous of his work and are slowly becoming autistic by staying on the computer. Furthermore, he has arrived at the belief that they are only jealous of his material goods.
*[[Lars]] - Even though Chris has been known for the longest time to berate [[JERKS|most other males]] for taking all of the [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]s and leaving none for him, he was more than happy to taunt Lars like a little kid about his breakup with [[Jackie]], acting like he is actually proud of taking her away from him (With liberal use of [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|racist terms]]) and threatening to [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|to kill him]] should he say anything about it. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Now there's something to think about]]. However, it should be noted that this [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|isn't the first time]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|he has done this]].
*[[Love Quest]] - A recurring requirement for potential [[boyfriend-free girl]]s, established most notably on his [[attraction sign]]s and in his [[Sonichu's_News_Dash]], is that they be age 18-[Chris's current age]. In the latter, he goes as far as to specify "18-21 years of age (18-22 as of February 24, 2004[the date on which Chris turned 22])", demonstrating that although he expects 18 year old girls to be interested in him regardless of his age, anyone so much as a ''day'' older than Chris doesn't meet his standards. Also, Chris has stated he would not date a girl with autism or any other mental disabilities, yet expects a woman to accept an autistic manchild like himself.
*[[Jackie]] - Not even his [[sweetheart]] is safe from the ego. In the final e-mail exchanges<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]], [[Jackie E-mails 22]] and [[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref> between the two, Jackie, quite accurately, pointed out many of Chris's flaws, also taking the time to rationally explain what he was doing wrong and what he could do to fix things. However, Chris took it the wrong way, claiming that she was insulting him and [[Kick the Autistic|hating]] him by pointing out his flaws, believing himself to be perfect. It remains to be seen whether this has ruined their relationship, but from what we can see, it has.
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] - The latest of the many trolls to come after Chris, Chris's ego has ramped up incredibly after [[Calling Out|his return to the internet]]. In his first video in eight months, Chris revealed that he had dox on him and was pretty much blackmailing him to do certain things or he'd reveal those dox. Chris's demands were for him to apologize to Sony for hacking the Playstation Network (when it was other people entirely), apologize to The Wallflower for breaking her and Chris up (when it was her finding out about how sick Chris was that ended their ''friendship'', not ''relationship'' - something he never had), to pay him $1000 dollars (probably to pay for the [[PS3]] that ''he destroyed'') and to remove everything he added to the [[CWCki]] (despite the fact that anyone with half a brain could easily put back up)
* [[Michael Snyder]] - Michael has been a thorn in Chris's side since the day he was kicked out of the [[GAMe PLACe]]. At first, it seemed that Chris's animosity towards Michael was minor, that he just wanted to go back and start buying stuff again. However, after [[The Wallflower]] incident, Chris had stepped up his attempts to get back in and failing miserably. This has lead Chris to throw "anti-Semetic" "slurs" (re: calling him a "[[South Park|Jew]]"), and attempting vehicular assault at least twice. As of now, he sees Michael as some sort of ring leader for cyber-bullying and considers the GAMe PLACe to be the headquarters for it all.
* [[Barbara Chandler]] - Despite [[Tomboys_And_Tomgirls_of_Virginia#Re:_Mothers|her disapproval]] of his [[Tomgirl]] shenanigans (even having Barb go as far as trying to bribe him to stop wearing a bra and panties), Chris continued to parade around as a crossdresser, no doubt causing a lot of undue embarassment to his mother. From what little contact anyone had with Chris since a [[28 October 2011|certain incident]], Chris has shown no visible [[Remorse|remorse]] for getting his aging mother thrown in jail and waist deep in legal troubles since then. While he does mention Barb as being "the only person who cares about him" in a [[Facebook]] note, the note primarily focuses on his grievances with the trolls and how much they've made his life miserable. Again, this comes on the heels of the Chandlers ending up in legal troubles, which was entirely his fault.

===Online===
*[[CWC's Second Message]] - In what would be his opening attack on trying to get the trolls to remove his page following losing Megan, Chris's opening words, amazingly, were:
{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.}}
*[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]] - Another shining example of Chris's ego in video form: Chris expects, and even '''demands''', respect from everybody, even though Chris has never shown anybody else any kind of respect. Plus, considering all of the things he's done: adding people to his comic so that he can beat them up, [[mass debating]] on camera, discriminating against others because of [[niggos|race]], [[JERKS|gender]], and [[homos|sexual orientation]], spending taxpayer money on [[Kimmi|sex toys]] and [[PS3|video games]], uploading poorly-drawn [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|pictures]] of himself fingering [[Megan]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], and then blaming them for her breaking up with him; he has never done anything to warrant the respect of '''anyone'''.
*[[LittleBigPlanet]] - When Chris had shown up on LBP community and posted videos addressed to them, he once again said people "should know him by now". He immediately assumed people would praise him for his levels, especially the "Collector's Case", which he thought was the most original LBP level idea ''ever.''
*[[For G4's Web Soup|Web Soup]] - When Chris learned that one of his videos was featured on an episode, he took it as a good thing, not realizing that the show made fun of people on the Internet.
*[[Sonichu's Edge|Chris]] [[CWCFighter|and]] [[51 50|exercise]] - Many times, Chris has shown his attempts at exercising or performing some sort of strenuous feat. He considered [[Power|lifting up a chair]] to be a great feat of strength, thought that lifting two 12-pack boxes was akin to lifting two 50-pound weights, and even showed his "amazing" Parkay skills.
*[[Chris and Wikipedia|Chris and famous people]] - Chris has compared himself to [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti]] in artistic ability. He has also compared himself in ability or personality to President [[Barack Obama]], [[SingStar Challenge|Frank Sinatra]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Bing Crosby]], [[Red Skelton]], Dick van Dyke, [[I Love Lucy|Ricky Ricardo]], and Jaleel White, Who voiced Sonic the Hedgehog in the original three Sonic cartoons. He has also compared himself to many fictional characters such as [[Transformers|Optimus Prime]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]], Homer Simpson, and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]. Since free-riding on someone else's talents is nothing new for Chris, he saw no issue into incorporating known people in [[Chandler Family Tree|his family tree]]. This is how [[Anne Boleyn]], [[Daniel Weston]] and an unknown [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee fellow]] appeared in his ancestry for no logical reason whatsoever. He pushed the audacity to edit many [[Wikipedia]] pages to validate his hubris. All entries have been redacted and his account was blocked.
*[[Chris E-Mails]] - Chris's massive ego manifests itself eagerly through his correspondence with other people. For example, he e-mailed the O'Reilly Factor, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News at least twice, telling them about his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not only did he outright expect them to report on it and give it extensive television coverage, but he expected the FBI (which he also believed was apparently part of the crew for the news shows) to go after Jason Kendrick Howell. Other examples include that while he apologized to Megan for drawing [[shecameforcwc.jpg]], he told her that she owed him money, and that he tried to coax [[Anna McLerran]] and Megan into vandalizing his ED page for him. He also believed that people thought their ranking on his [[Scale of Respect]] was of the utmost importance, as illustrated by his correspondence with Mary Lee Walsh.
*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)|Chris and his ED Page]] - Since Chris is a known narcissistic loon, he never liked mirrors of any kind. When the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|nice folks]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] found him, they couldn't resist the urge to satirize his own existence. Said article turned into a circus whereby [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|he tried to retract, modify, erase]], and even supply the page with [[shecameforcwc.jpg|new]] [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|material]]. In 17 [[December 2009]], he went as far as copying the main article page out of ED and edited out at his convenience.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Chris_chan]</ref>
*[[CWCipedia|Chris and his own webpage]] - When Chris was given his own webpage, he found himself bombarded with gay ads, all paid for by [[Jack Thaddeus]]. After dealing with this for months on end, Chris finally had enough and proclaimed that he wrote to currently-standing President Barack Obama in an attempt to make gay ads illegal, despite the fact that this kind of ad is still protected under free speech and even if he got the letter, there's a slim (read: zero) chance that Obama will actually listen to his whiny, fat ass. While addressing the matter, Chris proclaims himself ''the captain of this boat'' and says that without him, CWCipedia would not exist, implying that he does all the hard work on the website, ignoring all of the Sysop's efforts. In fact, CWCipedia was a privilege given to Chris and not at all something that he came up with. Chris has taken this to an absolute extreme, going as far as to suggest that he is the "Captain" of CWCipedia.
*[[Sonichu Forum|Chris and the Sonichu Forum]] - When Chris discovered a troll site filed with people pretending to be Sonichu fans, he used it to its maximum possible extent. The notorious [[Mailbag 50]] was made using hand-picked posts from the forum, selected for their copious amounts of ass-kissing. When one troll suggested that Chris [[Sonichu Forum#Chris doesn't own a mirror|wasn't much of a catch IRL]], Chris responded with anger, demanding to know what could possibly make them think that he was anything less than awesome.
*[[CWCki|Chris and the CWCki]] - On 10 March 2010, Chris ended up discovering the CWCki due to the fiasco that lead to his breakup with [[The Wallflower]]. He demanded that all pages concerning him, his family and friends be altered or [[death threats|there would be trouble.]] Noticing the Wallflower's page altered, he took credit for it, not realizing that she had demanded it much earlier and had nothing to do with his earlier rant.
*[[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet]] - No fewer than ''six times'', Chris has boldly claimed that he was "distancing himself from the Internet" and that the only way he would be seen would be outside. However Chris has always returned, anywhere from 36 hours to eight months after making this bold claim. In a hypocritical sense, Chris hasn't left the Internet - he's left the parts that he doesn't like anymore.
*[[Flipnote Hatena]] - After "distancing himself from the Internet", Chris decided to bide his time on Flipnote Hatena, a website that allows him to post animated creations from the Nintendo DSi program Flipnote Studio. So far, Chris has used it to spread his word over how to deal with trolls by butchering a humorous music video, thinking its creator was thinking the same thing he was, and by creating a set of "tags", listing out a bunch of lies. At the end of [[An Ol' Classic Dream]], he demands that his brainwashed, obedient fanbase give him 5 million stars in exchange for an uncensored version of the already raunchy video. When mods took down his flipnotes, Chris would put them back on, disable comments on his page, then re-allow them, and post a flipnote that should have been him apologizing for doing so, but talked more about the trolls and his "Internet Rep" than an actual apology.
*[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|Trollbusters]] - After returning to the Internet, Chris comes up with the idea for a "Trollbusters" group, having made shirts and cars on [[ModNation Racers]]. All of this was done so he can make the Internet safe for himself. Searches through Google though, reveal that there have been other Trollbuster attempts in the past by other people and, most likely like this one, were doomed to fail.
* [[Calling Out]] - In Chris's first video since he "left" the Internet, he just had to reintroduce himself to others, almost copying word for word the same thing he said when first began his attack on the trolls. As well, he stood to reveal that the Playstation Network hackings weren't the work of a series of hackers, but by Surfshack Tito himself.
* [[Facebook]] - On 1 April 2012, Chris posted a note on his Facebook, talking about how all of his [[trolls]] know nothing about him, that what they've said and done is totally uncalled for and that the only person who cares about him is [[Barbara]] and he would rather not meet anyone who might be a troll. This is despite the fact that numerous [[white knight]]s have attempted to tell Chris to straighten up or he's going to die and some of the trolling attempts were attempts to get him to do just that. And all of them were ignored. Later on, on the 28th April, 2012, Chris placed screenshots on the CWCki forums, and started bragging about 'deceiving the trolls' despite them merely making small talk over his announcement about re-using the Attraction Sign. Even more telling, though, is his claim that he knows where every user lives, that that he'll [[Death Threats|find them all]].

===Contests===
*[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] - In an attempt to win a contest involving the animated avian lawyer, Chris went to great lengths to talk about himself, his rivalry with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and [[Sonichu]], but very, ''very'' little about Birdman himself.
*[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] - After losing the contest to [[Adam Stackhouse]], Chris would have a major hissy-fit over the loss, proclaiming even the slightest mistake as cheating, despite the fact that Chris himself had broken numerous rules in the process. Even worse, he attempted to fabricate the PlayStation webpage to show that he himself had won and not Adam.
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]] - After [[trolls]] caused Chris to win the contest in a misguided attempt to troll the entire gaming community, Chris vowed to spend his winnings (a $400 USD gift card) with his church. Instead, he barely spent half of it towards the church, taking the rest (approximately over 200 dollars) for himself.

===Other===
*[[Mumble 3]] - While talking to Clyde, Chris tells him that the reason why he doesn't have a job is because he has so many awesome skills, he just can't choose one.
*[[Mumble 4]] - When Clyde asks Chris what kind of job he thinks he's qualified for, Chris says, "If anything, I'm overqualified...[for] every type of job available!"
*[[Chris and Health]] - Chris hates to be called fat. Deep in his mind, he honestly thinks he's the same somewhat skinny child he was ten years ago, despite the fact that he has a gut and his hairline's retreating at an alarming rate. While he refuses to accept his baldness, he actually is claiming to be working on his gut. Beyond that, he refuses ''professional'' psychological help and honestly believes stuff such as autism and homosexuality are easily caught diseases.
*[[Homos]]exuality - Given his passion for STAYING STRAIGHT, in [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris actually seems bemused by the idea that gay men don't find him attractive enough to "lure off the straight path."
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|His Church]] - In a recent [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|call to arms against Asperchu]], Chris reveals that he believes he can use his current congregation as a personal army.
*[[Copyright|His copyright]] - If there is one thing Chris takes pride in, it's his "official" Sonichu copyright. With this, he feels as if he can actually make his multimedia empire with no one to stop him. When he first got the paperwork, he boasted it not even a day after he lost Kacey to Liquid Chris, more or less telling her she got stuck with a loser. He also attempted to set up a bunch of videos trying to sell Sonichu to other companies. In his second "I'm leaving the Internet FOREVER" video, he uses the copyright again to boast that he has won over the trolls.
* [[Car Pranks|His answering machine]] - When a number of trolls attempted to call Chris over a Craigslist listing of his car, one of the calls got to his answering machine. The recorded message says that his lawyers and a doctor of some sort advise him not to take any interviews due to too much information being leaked, then calls the trolls "trollin' stupid."
* [[100 2178|Greene County School Board]] - In one video, Chris proclaims that the Greene County School Board, who sought to help Chris when he was younger, initiated a massive conspiracy against him in order to keep him in his "autistic shell". This also included paying off a Realtor to keep their house from being sold and paying off Michael Snyder to keep him out of the GAMe PLACe.
*In a [[Media:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|one-page spread]] designed to spread awareness of the victims of the earthquake in Haiti (and likely done only in response to a [[:File:Haitihelp.JPG|similar ad]] featuring Asperchu), Chris drew all the human victims being dwarfed by four and a half foot tall hedgehogs. The human children, sitting beside [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|a bunch of furry runts]], are to scale less than a foot tall. Topping it all off was the inclusion of Simonchu in order to spite [[Evan]]. To Chris, it's more important that his (stolen) recolor abominations have more exposure than the people he's trying to help.
*Similarly, the [[:File:Sonichu Rosechu Save McIntire by Cwcipedia.jpg|poster]] ostensibly designed to be a protest sign features the aforementioned recolors more prominently than the [[McIntire Park|message]] of the sign.
*[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] - Much like his lord and master GodJesus, Chris believes he has the power to forgive those who have sinned against him, essentially the opposite of his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Apparently, Chris is so arrogant, he thinks he can use his [[Chris and religion|retard magic]] to cleanse the souls of the [[trolls|wicked mortals]] who dare to play [[Kick the Autistic]] instead of worshipping him, and has done so [[One Blessing, and One Curse|on]] [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour|numerous]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|occasions]].
*[[Exposing Jeff]] - Despite acknowledging that Liquid knows three different tongues (in addition to his native English) and how to play the guitar, Chris still says that he can be "so much better".
*[[DivineTrial]] - [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] is put to trial by Chris ([[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as Divine), who acts as a prosecutor, judge, jury and a one man firing squad. Apparently [[PandaHalo|Panda]]'s rape wasn't serious enough to be put into the charges against Clyde, though his various acts of trolling against Chris were.
*[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]] - The cover features a picture of Chris with a [[Chris and religion#Delusions of Godhood?|halo]] made mostly out of Pokémon energy symbols floating over his head.
*[[Virgin with rage|Losing his virginity]] - After losing his ever-so-hated virginity, the news of it spread across the troll community with one thing in mind - it could not have happened. When Chris finally admitted it, he talks down to the trolls, vowing never to reveal what had happened.

==In the comic==

{{quote|I did an AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB|Chris}}

While [[Issue 0]] and [[Issue 1]] do focus on Sonichu, [[Chris-Chan]] takes over as the main character throughout [[Issue 2]], [[Sonichu 5|Issue 5]], [[Sonichu 6|Issue 6]] and [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]], with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] as a supporting character, and even when he does appear, he's shouting some retarded praises about Chris. [[Sonichu 8|Issue 8]] and [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] see Sonichu taking back his major role as the main character, but he's basically just a Mary-Sue analogy for Chris. The main story arc of [[Sonichu 10|Issue 10]] is the resurgence of Chris and his elimination of every enemy he has so far. He also portrays himself as skinny and handsome, although this doesn't happen till said ''Issue 2'', and will pull powers out of his ass. He even makes several episodes that dramatize events he had in real-life, with the extremely self-indulgent fantasies that are described below.

Chris's ego is in full bloom in the comics. The name of the city in which he and his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon strive to protect is known as [[CWCVille]]. The city's currency is C-Quarters and W-Quarters. One of the major drinks in this city is known as [[CWC Cola]]. The radio station is called "K-CWC"; the hotel is called the "Double CWC"; even his [[Wikipedia:Hyrule|Hyrule]] ripoff is called "[[RuleCWC]]". Basically, everything is named after Chris. The Sonichus and Rosechus he created proclaim him "father". No one in his city cares if he slacks off from his job as Mayor. He even goes so far as to proclaim that there are no elections when he proclaims [[BILLY MAYS]] is NOT the True and Honest mayor of CWCville.

===Instances of Chris's ego in the comics===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|An entire book of Chris hurting people he hates]]
*'''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]:''' While this is the smallest amount of screen time he's ever had in the comics, he generally steals the scene to himself. Sonichu tries to make a point about how "[[lie|creative]]" the comics are if that, and generally trying to make it seem like he deserves a girlfriend for drawing this retarded piece of fail.
*'''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]:''' Again, Chris's existence in the comics is very minor, confined to Sub-Episodes and a sudden appearance, mocking how ridiculous a singing and dancing [[Robotnik]] is.
*'''[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]:''' His portrayal of [[Wes-Li Sonichu|Wes-Li]] counts, despite not really knowing Chris in [[Chris and Reality|real life]] he still gets portrayed as a villain. He also openly admitted he didn't want Sarah to see anyone else in a text-walling portion of the comic, yet still calls Wes-Li greedy for not wanting to be a part in CWC's retarded conversations. He also draws [[Sarah]] pinning Wes-Li to a tree & breaking up with him, just because she thought Chris being jealous of her was sweet. He is also drawn whining about how he lost Sarah, and essentially tells Wes to "buck up", even though he's the first one to make a scream when he lost a [[Hannah|one-time date]]. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] also appears as a villain.
*'''[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]:''' This issue has a semi-fictionalized account of an incident Chris had with the managers of McDonald's. He was loitering and soliciting, and they threw him out. In his comic book, however, Chris exclaims that the Jerkops are conspiring against him, preventing him from finding true love. He turns into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and defeats them with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]], who admits he only helped because Chris was his creator.
*'''[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]:''' It's all about Chris here. Sonichu and Rosechu are nowhere to be seen, except for one cameo each in separate sub-episodes. This issue was all about Chris's semi-fictionalized misadventures at Wal-Mart, Target and McDonald's, and pitted him constantly against the Jerkops and Mary Lee Walsh, for they dare to interfere with his [[Love Quest]]. Unlike IRL, Chris can (and does) pwn them in the fantasy world of his comics. This issue also includes the account of Chris's encounter with IRL troll [[Hannah]], who raised his [[heart level]] to 100% just to smash it down to 15%.
[[Image:Sammyandchris.jpg|thumb|Chris as he is vs. Chris as he sees himself.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]:''' This issue has Chris write Sarah Hammer out of the comic so he could focus exclusively on [[Megan Schroeder]], the new object of his desire. While Sarah did marry a man named [[William Spicer]], Chris was not present at her wedding, and had never met Spicer, as he was represented in the comic by a generic [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] character. The next episode has Chris fawning over Megan, and she over him. In reality, Megan saw Chris only as a friend, and was constantly rebuffing his advances. The episode features two different endings because Megan either did not like the original ending or objected to being featured in the comic at all.
*'''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]:''' The [[Patti Chandler]] Memorial Issue, where his dead dog becomes a member of CWCville. In the only other episode in this issue, Chris has [[Bionic]] ask him to create a sweetheart for him, but Chris, being a lazy fuck, hooks him up with Megan's character [[Megagi]]. Chris would later claim Megan's character as his own.
*'''[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]:''' Chris is envious of Bionic's ability to screw Megagi until Megan holds his hand, again implying romance where none exists. This issue contains the stupid time-travel plot where they go back in time to the moment Chris created Bionic, and the scene randomly segues into a [[Family Guy]] style scene he gives Seth McFarlane full permission to use (Coincidentally, or not, the first few minutes of the ''Road to Germany'' episode of Family Guy bears a close resemblance to this "skitch"). After Chris gets trapped in the time void, he mixes both fake memories from the comic with real ones, like Megan "dumping" him and his denial of having drawn [[Shecameforcwc.jpg]] (he blames it on [[ED]], even though he was the one that drew it and uploaded it onto that site), Mary Lee Walsh's invasion of CWCville and her defeat at the hands of the Sonichus and Rosechus, and [[Joshua Martinez]] hooking him up with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. In the other episode, he introduces his Sweetheart-of-the-moment Blanca and her creation [[Jiggliami]], who Chris would later claim as his own, as well as featuring an interview with anti-troll [[Robert Simmons V]] about how awesome Chris is.
[[Image:Momentary Escape.JPG|thumb|Chris rends space time asunder to punch some guy. On the plus side, that does look a little bit like him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]:''' While free of Chris the character, the comic was not free of Chris's warped psyche. He drew a sex scene between Sonichu and Rosechu for no other reason than to draw porn of his characters, and gave a detailed account of their reproductive systems. Remember, Sonichu is supposed to be a children's comic, as Chris has stated numerous times. After having his characters have sex for the fifty billionth time, he inserts the hideous [[Rule 34]] he drew into the storyline by having Rosechu come across it while using the internet. In a blatant display of Mary Sueism, Chris uses Sonichu to comment on his hideous drawings by saying that they are "so lifelike", and he also has Sonichu gag and barf at the sight of fan drawings from Chris's ED page of Rosechu with a "pickle". Next there are multiple (traced) nude images of Rosechu, which the plot indicates is to prove that she doesn't have a "pickle". Later on, after Sonichu and Rosechu storm [[4-cent garbage.com]], which is a thinly veiled portrayal of ED, she strips again and face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the guy who created Chris's ED page, putting him into a state close to death. Even later, all the Rosechus in the comics decide to strip for "[[Women's Rights]]"...well, all except [[Zapina|one underaged one]], who can't strip because of the "[[Chris and sex#pedophilia|dumb laws]]". It must be noted that this entire storyline was a result of Chris being trolled hard by the people over at ED, who drew fan art of Rosechu with a dick to make Chris RAGE...and RAGE he did. An epilogue has former sweetheart [[Sarah Jackson]] killed by [[Optimus Prime]]; another former sweetheart, [[Blanca]], returned to Kentucky and her boyfriend, which makes no fucking sense storyline wise. The truth is that she was a troll and Chris failed at writing her out; a two sentence memorial to [[Ryan Cash]] and a dedication to Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[PandaHalo]].
[[Image:Billboard.JPG|thumb|They're better off without him.]]
*'''[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]:''' Lacking Sonichu to use as his mouthpiece, Chris invented [[Reginald Sneasel]] to use as his stand-in during the first episode, and Reginald even goes to retarded lengths to break up a romance between [[Punchy]] and [[Layla]] in a similar way that Chris meddled with Wes and Sarah. After Reginald's plan fails, [[Angelica Rosechu]] approaches him, and they quickly jump into the sack together, echoing Chris's own belief that the woman must make the first move, out of pity, and put out as soon as possible. This episode also introduces Chris's retarded [[Dating Education]] concept and applies it to his characters. Chris also inserts his Sweetheart-of-the-moment [[Ivy]] into the comics in a plotline that goes nowhere, and has a thinly-veiled version of former sweetheart Sarah Jackson as the Date Ed teacher. Chris then makes a callous reference to Sarah's death by Optimus Prime via a representation of her sister Rita. When Rita informs the class about her sister's death, the assorted characters appear to not give a fuck, nor do they make any attempt to console the poor grieving woman that is now stuck teaching their class. Also in Sonichu 9, Chris depicts PandaHalo dying in a fire. He seems to think this is a fitting tribute. He also shopped a caricature of himself onto a billboard in the background, with a caption begging him to return to the mayor's office. Recent additions have shown the addition of a Power Rangers team, the CWC-Power Rangers, as well as a gruesome description of Ivy dying by being hanged.
*'''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]''' With Chris back in the saddle, he proceeds with his master plan to get rid of all of those who troubled him in real life. Even worse, he apparently was able to deceive his future wife into think he was his future self and did the nasty with her. On top of this, he proclaims that he helped create the cure for homosexuality and plans to bring about straightness by stealing all those vaccines, bringing them to the present, and distributing them right there! Chris-Chan Sonichu defeats some "devil trolls", but can't resist imitating Zorro and spelling "CWC" in the air with his epic blows and kicks (this could be a trifecta: unoriginal, egotistic, ''and'' physically implausible). As the comic continues, he attacks the 4-cent_garbage HQ, using the characters [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] and [[Beel]] to condemn [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being homo trolls who "slander and tarnish an innocent man's good name", then proceeds to make the latter two jump to their deaths, just as he wishes. Even more, he destroys the building, kills about 200 trolls and proclaims that both ED and 4-cent_garbage's websites were lost forever, despite the fact that most websites nowadays have back ups waiting for just such an emergency. Soon after, Magi-Chan returns from the future, reporting that the gay vaccine has/will be proven to be a worldwide success and that [[1982|February 24th]], 2009 will be proclaimed Christian Love Day in his honor. Yes, really. Then Chris immediately manages to top this when his God complex manifests itself in the form of [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Both are portrayed as blatantly messianic figures, especially Ultra Sonichu who works like Chris's version of Jesus who saves [[Asperchu]] characters from "[[Liquid Chris|The False God In Brown Strips]]" and Aspergers by granting them the forgiveness of Chris, which can only be received by praying to him. Chris later denied that he tried to set himself up as God, but at the same time he more than insinuated that he is just as awesome. Later in the issue, as he issues an apology over what he had done concerning Asperchu, he puts Alec, Mao, Evan, and Sean on a mock trial for the murder of Simonla Rosechu, pulls evidence out of their asses and gets them sentenced to death, two of which Chris participates in!
*'''[[Sonichu Special 4]]:''' Chris steals [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]] for "not treating her right", bursts into the house (note that Kacey doesn't seem to be in any real danger), blows out a disarmed Liquid's kneecaps with a [[Megatron pistol|handgun]], and draws Kacey's military family telling praises about Chris, and generally negative comments towards Liquid. However, Karma would later [[Kacey and Liquid Call|come back to bite him]] after Kacey and Liquid read the strip.

==Christian Love Day==

[[Image:Love-Day.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Magi-Chan]] describes Failmas, and expresses his severe disappointment with a startling lack of accuracy.]]
'''Christian Love Day''' is a proposed holiday mused upon by Chris in the CWC blog entry of 7 January 2010. It made an appearance in [[Sonichu 10]] on the same day. As described in the events of the comics, on 24 February 2009 [[Magi-Chan]] completed his mission of distributing Chris's Gay Vaccine to the world. "[[Chris and religion|Thanks to the blood of Christian Weston Chandler]]," all Homosexuality and, in a startling display of overkill, [[Megan Schroeder|Asexuality]] are eradicated. Chris uses this as an excuse for a second Valentine's Day late in the month. Presumably, the day will be celebrated with unabashed, BUT STRAIGHT, monkey sex.

===Significance===

{{quote|Upon reflection, February 24 SHOULD be a Holiday of sorts (even a Second Day for Love in addition to Valentine's Day), because the day, to me at least, just FEELS like a Holiday, in addition to it being my Birthday. I have looked it up before, and it is some sort of forgettable (Holi)day in Mexico or somewhere. February 24 Should have More Significance and Recognition like a Holiday.|[[Chris]], in his [[CWC Blog]] for 7 January, 2010}}

Chris bases the holiday not only on his horrifically misguided and disturbing Gay Holocaust, but grants it full significance for being his birthday. Chris actually believes a milestone date in his amateur webcomic should be celebrated worldwide, because he "feels" like it should, especially since it "feels" like a holiday to him, neglecting that everyone tends to view their own birthday as a holiday. He attempts to mask this fact with ill-researched hear-say. The "forgettable" holiday occurring on the 24th is [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|Mexican Flag Day]], celebrated at most with a flag ceremony in elementary schools and maybe a short lecture on the history of the Mexican flag. This is notable for being both a minor, yet momentous holiday, doubly defeating Chris's point. On a historical note, it was the same day the [[Wikipedia:February_24#Events|Nazi Party]] was founded, way back in 1920.

Interesting to note is the celebration of a "man"(child) giving his [[Navy|"blood"]] to "save" the population of the [[CWCville|Earth]] from [[Homosexuality|"damnation"]]. [[Chris and religion|Chris thinks he's Jesus]]. Big surprise.

===The Declaration===
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px|True and Original Declaration of the Christian Love Day. Also, notice how he has buttocks on his front.]]
{{quote|Good morning. In less than an hour, Sonichu fans from here will join others from around the world as you will be witnessing the largest personal change in the history of mankind. Mankind...that word should have new meaning for us all today. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it is fate that today is Metsico's flllag day. And we will once again be saluting an image of our freedom. Not just from trolling, loneliness, or persecution, but also from heartbreak. We are fighting for our right to love, to be honest, and when the sun sets today, the twenty-fourth of February will no longer be known as only a Metsican holiday, but as today the Sonichu fans declared what wuv was. We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive, to celebr--today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!|Chris, totally not [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripping off]] the movie ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29 Independence Day]''}}

Chris is so engrossed by the idea, that he went as far as [[Christian Love Day (video)|making a video]] for the occasion, asking his army of [[fans]] to celebrate his hubris. To remove any doubt about the issue, he [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|admitted to Alec Benson Leary]] that he does indeed believe he is important enough to have his birthday celebrated across the country. On the other side, he denies ever writing the declaration, claiming a [[Troll|friend]] did it for him, and says he saw the movie ''Independence Day'' only once.

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Sub-Episodes]]

[[Category:Lists]]

ShecameforCWC.JPG

2011-10-20T03:39:02Z

DStecks: added important comma to clarify sentence

{{quote|And by the way, that is not [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] whose eyes are censored; that is [[Megan]]!|Chris, [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]}}

[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|"Your sister has cum for me"]]

'''ShecameforCWC.JPG''' is a [[Rule 34]] picture that [[Chris]] drew as part of a campaign to fight the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] by "replacing negativity with positivity."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, this single image managed to invoke so much drama it ruined the closest relationship with a human being he has ever had - his friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]].

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], until Chris edited the article to confirm that it was in fact Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref> He also angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|an Internet video]], shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to have an incestuous relation his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his only friend, with whom he had no romantic or sexual relationship.

==Background==
When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of [[pickles]] on the site. Using his powers of [[autistic]] logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November [[2007]], Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.JPG. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC.JPG proved to be the most controversial, leaving [[trolls]] in total shock.

==Analysis==
[[File:ShecameforCWCanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis]]

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of fail that is Chris:

*The [[Chris and art|artistic skills]] of an eight-year-old; depth perception and proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as the paper upon which she was drawn.
*A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the [[China|vagina]] is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).
*Megan's body lacks all curves whatsoever. Chris should probably start paying better attention to women in porn, as then he would know that girls' waists nip in, thus making the hips appear more pronounced, instead of being straight up and down [[Pedofork|like a little boy]].
*Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the [[Wikipedia:Vulcan salute|Vulcan salute]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.
*Chris is somehow reaching over his left shoulder with his right hand despite the fact that his elbow remains near his side, creating an effect straight out of [[Wikipedia:M. C. Escher|M. C. Escher]]'s darkest nightmares.
*Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.
*The [[China|vagina]] in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "[[Masturbating and squirtin'|squirtin']]," but due to his own stupidity he drew her "[[Wikipedia:Female ejaculate|cum]]" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of the Ages" effect shown in the picture. Also, pussy juice is not blue.
*Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a [[Wikipedia:Landing strip (pubic hair)|landing strip]] (a near-ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s mustache (coincidentally, Megan had a one-time fetish for German soldiers, which Chris wouldn't realize anyway). It is also quite far up on her body, and looks like some kind of messed-up [[Wikipedia:Abdominal hair|happy trail]] instead of pubic hair.
*Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely [[China|genitalia]] and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."
*In contrast, Chris pays close attention to his [[Medallion of Fail]], his [[heterochromia]], etc.
*Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "''She''came''For''CWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.
*He's wearing his [[Sonichu medallion]] while fingering a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#My first time|Chris Sex Logs]]</ref>
*The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the Internet where she can see it.

==Motivation==
Chris apparently thought that uploading pictures of vaginas would counter-act the homosexuality prevalent on the ED page.<ref>Megan emails, 2008
</ref> He posted pornographic drawings of several shippings from the comics, which happened to include him and Megan. He and Megan had some sort of self-fulfillment relationship in the comics, so we can assume Chris was imagining this from the very beginning.

==Drama==
===With ED===
When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Exactly what he meant here is disputed, but it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented ''Chris's'' sister, the fictional character [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]. (Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, any two females with long brown hair are easily mistaken for each other.)

Over the next few months, the image was removed and replaced a few times over the course of Chris's simmering edit war against ED. It didn’t become a serious hot potato until [[March 2008]], however, when [[Megan]] discovered the picture and learned that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. Amazingly, he even tried to replace the image with a [[:File:TomTomCloseup.jpg|cropped version]] which just involved the vagina, as though Megan were only angry about her and Chris's facial features being depicted and would be satisfied if the image just showed his hand disappearing up her radiant quim. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption — as well as several other captions around the article — to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

===With Megan===
In early spring [[2008]], Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at [[the Game Place]].) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the [[Megan_Emails, 2008#Chris_apologizes_for_something.2C_what_could_it_be.3F|original e-mails]]. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls — that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

{{quote|If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...|Chris, [[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED|e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008]]}}

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows little remorse for creating and publishing the image while offering plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In a message from 18 March, he actually had the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, Megan finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair his relationship with Megan about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." This remains their last known communication.

==Today==
[[File:Crumple-lope.jpg|right|thumb|The envelope.]]

{{quote|It was Wishful Thinking.|Chris, describing his motive for drawing ShecameforCWC, [[Rejected Mailbag]]}}

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the fact he needed "sexy images".<ref>[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]</ref> The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame. The original drawing itself is said to be ripped up and stored in a [[CWC-isms|"Crumple-Lope"]]. <ref>[[Mumble 3|Mumble Chat 3]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==See also==
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy. His drawing style hasn't improved.
== Sources ==
<references />
{{MeganSaga}}
[[Category:Rule 34]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]
[[Category:ED Saga]]

Jay Z

2011-10-20T02:56:23Z

DStecks: Supplied alternate, more fitting Jay Z song.

[[Image:Jay-z-400a060107.jpg|right|thumb|What [[Chris]] thought his lawyer looked like...]]

{{quote|[[Chris|I]]'ve got [[Autism|9]][[Obesity|9]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|p]][[Encyclopedia Dramatica|r]][[Shecameforcwc.jpg|o]][[Stress|b]][[Aunt Corrina|l]][[Patti Chandler|e]][[Asperchu|m]][[Trolls|s]] but a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|bitch]] [[Virgin with Rage|ain't]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|one]]|Jay Z, explaining the situation.}}

'''James Zylberstien''', aka '''Jay Z''', was Chris's lawyer friend from [[Nintendo]]. Quit due to [[stress]] from project [[Sonichu Alpha]] and now works for [[Microsoft]]. His major achievement (or [[fail]] depending on which way you look at it) was to encourage Chris to [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|change the names of his real-life characters]] so when the [[Sonichu Adventure|videogame]] was made they couldn't sue.

While there is certainly some humor in Chris' feeble attempts to rename the characters despite having the creative capabilities of an old sock, many [[trolls]] feel that one of the greatest sources of humor was seeing Chris's pathetic attempts to slander real people who he thinks had "wronged" him in the past. While Chris has largely kept changes made to characters' names due to Jay Z's influence, later enemies were still often referred to by their real names. This is most evident in [[Sonichu 10]], where [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Evan George]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], Sean Wately, and [[Asperpedia|Mao]] are all referred to by name. As well [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is identified by name, but his sequence was part of an earlier preview where he was already called by name. In all likelihood, even though Chris remembers to call [[Mary Lee Walsh]] "Slaweel Ryam" he doesn't remember Jay Z's legal warnings, and is more interested in slandering his opponents than anything else.

{{stub}}

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Z, Jay}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category: Miyamoto Saga]]

Talk:Zapina

2011-08-08T01:11:07Z

DStecks: /* Looks */

==Looks==
I don't think she was copied one bit from Illumise. Does she really look anything like [http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/pokemon/images/a/a2/Illumise.jpg this]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:30, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
*''No.'' She resembles another, but my brain fails me on which one. I think it was one of the Gold/Silver creatures, but I don't remember.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:04, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**I'm not seeing it among any of the bug 'mons. Or any 'mon at all. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 19:43, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

*My personal theory is that her design isn't based on any actual character, but is instead constructed from what he considers hot. Honestly, nobody could truly say "I am not a pedophile" and dress an underage character in ''that''. Unless of course, that was part of their characterization, that they are overly sexual for their age, but that is clearly not the case here, as no fewer than three characters have stated that she should be ''more'' sexual, ignoring the fact that characterization of that type is far beyond Chris's capabilities. tl;dr: She isn't Asuka, she's just a pedo fap fantasy. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:42, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

*has anyone ever considered the character from Knuckle's Chaotix [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cf/Charmy_Bee.jpg/200px-Charmy_Bee.jpg Charmy Bee]? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_from_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(games)#Charmy_Bee wiki entry for Charmy]]It's a Sonic character, and it's already a bug, and we know how much Chris love to rip off sonic concepts. He probably just pulled a "Simonla" on Charmy and of course at the same time threw in the unholy mixing of more than likely a pokemon, probably the one mentioned above, Illumise. Thats my own theory as to where Zapina came from anyway... --[[User:CaptainBilly|CaptainBilly]]

*Now that you mention it, they do look somewhat similar... --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*I didn't see any pokemon resemblance either until you said something, then I noticed slight resemblance to beedrill and possible scizor. Of all the mons, it probably looks most like illumise/volbeat,but has no real resemblance to either, so I looked through all the mons and found nothing. I think we can safely say that whatever it is, a mon it is not. [http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/175/a/1/All_pokemon_by_chao_monster.png Source] [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*Nope she's a partial ripoff of tinkerbell. They are both blonde, that weird thing in the back of her head is actually a hair bun, her clothes are mostly green and she glows. Thought she dresses more skanky than tinkerbell.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 14:16, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

<s>*''Fuck'' guys, she's ''[http://shonenwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/FMA_Winry_Wallpaper800-302424.jpeg Winry]''. That's unmistakeable. Just when I had hoped Chris wouldn't fuck up my favourite comic ever, he goes and pulls this shit. EDIT: Mind if I alter the page to reflect this, or are you guys unsure about the connection? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 22:08, 4 August 2010 (PDT)</s>
**Disregard this. I think [[User:CaptainBilly|CaptainBilly]] is right. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:11, 7 August 2011 (PDT)

==While I'm here==
The whole "find yourself a 16-year old boy" thing has always struck me as odd, and I've always felt that it implied that when Chris was 16, he had a crush on a 14 year old, seeing as this is a proxy for his life. He's trying to sway the girls of today to seek out males who fit Chris' description, or in this case to seek out males who used to fit his description when he wanted them to want him. I've rewritten those last two sentences like 8 times now, I can't sculpt my ideas well at the moment I guess, but I hope you can understand it. Basically, because he was a lonely 16 year old virgin with rage who wanted a 14 year old, he's being a selfish prick and trying to get 14 year old girls to want 16 year old guys, even though it wouldn't really help him NOW. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This bit makes no sense to me--it would require Chris to worry about people who aren't him, and that's something he just doesn't do. It could be that Chris thinks he could pass as a sixteen year old(and the lowest he'd date, if the law changed, is 14). Going by his twisted sense of consent, if a 14 year old girl mistook him for a 16 year old when he is in fact 28 and consented to sex, he is not guilty of statutory rape.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:40, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::I don't think he's doing it for someone else; remember that each of his characters is an extension of himself. By doing this, he's effectively consoling himself, as if saying "Nobody else was there for you, but we would have helped you if we were there". Meh, I'm tired. Probably doesn't make sense to any awake people. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:06, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::: It doesn't make much sense to me, either. I think it's more likely that he feels that every rosechu and sonichu should be paired up, and since he's old fashioned, obviously the boy should be older. While it is strange for him to care about it enough to have a character say "Go out and fuck a 16 year old.", and still perverted that he would be thinking a 14 year old should be pursuing a sexual relationship at all, I don't think that line is based simply on him wanting to fuck a 14 year old.--[[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 08:31, 11 October 2010 (EST)
::::I would agree-- well, sure as hell hope-- that Chris is not a pedophile in intent (Ephebophilia, almost certianly, as that's the age when girls become sexy women, and thus, would certianly appeal to Chris) and the idea that he is one is just our exaduration. Possibly, he's got a pathos of his that he is incapable of ''not'' sexualising any given female, esepcially one of his own creations/mary sues, because that's what his concept of a female just ''is''. Besides the bizzare insistence that his heartsweet be younger than him (a cleverer chauvanist would want that because, presumably, a less experienced female would be less likeley to outsmart him. Chris is not a clever chauvanist), I don't think age is actually relevant to him, and it's probably more based on his old sitcoms where the wife is always significantly younger than the husband; QED: that's what he thinks a marrige ''is.''--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 20:51, 12 January 2011 (PST)

Talk:Chris and art

2011-08-08T01:03:17Z

DStecks: /* Pen Holding Technique..? */

== To do ==
* ED had, somewhere or sometime or somehow, copies of the drawings that Chris traced to produce the Rosechu "self-centerfolds". Please add them - good examples of exactly how he traces poses and stuff.
** I would but I'm not saving that shit to this computer...here are the pictures anyway if there's someone less squeamish who is willing to do it. [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischantraced.jpg] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischantraced3.jpg] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischantraced4.jpg] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Image:Chrischantraced5.jpg] --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 23:28, 7 October 2009 (CEST)
== ... ==

Something tells me that Chris never gives a jack about using the basic shapes. Has he ever picked up a how-to-draw book in his life?
:Methinks he either hasn't, or that the most advanced he ever had were along the lines of "How to Draw Sonic the Hedgehog." I've heard the style described as "colored-in outlines," common among rank amateurs. Rather than blocking out anatomy, they just draw a rough outline of what the character is shaped like, creating a gruesome mess. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 22:44, 10 September 2009 (CEST)

Finally, a new analysis page I can get into! I added a bit about how it appears he does no practice or sketching. I actually think that's the main reason his drawings are so terrible. He DOES show some improvement over time, which indicates the capacity for it... but he's so lazy that he won't put in the effort to make use of it. <strike>Nearly anyone</strike> Everyone who can draw worth a damn has a hundred hideous sketches for every good drawing (Trust me, as a drawfag and former psuedo-art-student, I know all too well.). As Chuck Jones said, everyone's got a hundred thousand bad drawings in 'em. Chris is just too lazy to get them out. - [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 02:38, 4 October 2009 (CEST)

==First Known Drawing==

That picture of Sonic was from when he was FIFTEEN?! Holy ''shit''! I thought that was EARLIER THAN THAT! That looks like an 9-10 year old drew that! Not that his artwork has improved that much, but JESUS! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:00, 22 September 2009 (CEST)
*I'm guessing it's a joke, but you'd be surprised... --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:22, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
:*Just thought of something - Sonic didn't come out until 1991. This means Chris must have been at least 9 when he made that. Still shitty art for a 9 year old. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:28, 8 October 2009 (CEST)
::* Eh, if it were drawn when he was nine, it's not that bad. If it were indeed drawn when he was 15, then holy crap. - [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 19:06, 25 October 2009 (CET)
I'd like to see a source on that- not that I think it's impossible, but just to be sure. He was definitely at least nine, though, since that's when Sonic first came out. [[User:Pugs Malone|Pugs Malone]] 19:46, 22 September 2009 (CEST)

== Comic writing ==

Here's something I've been thinking lately: I could go on and on about Chris as a comic writer and the various corners he has painted himself into, but I don't think this page is the appropriate place for that, because it mostly covers his visual gaffes. Should we split this into something like "Chris and writing"? I know we have [[Chris and English]], but that's more for deep-level language, word use and semantic analysis rather than exploring Chris's writing on higher level. Also, such writing page could cover Chris's failures in his other literary achievements. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:29, 2 December 2009 (CET)
* Yeah, I think a "Chris and Writing" section would really work in this case. --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:24, 2 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris knows his art is childish. Sort of. ==

Chris has been insisting in his personalized Mailbag 50 that he knows his art is childish because he is "trying to push the envelope on the standards of quality" and that he's trying to envoke "childish innocence" and bullshit like that. Where would the best section be to talk about this? [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 21:23, 30 January 2010 (UTC)

: I think we should put up some small-children's drawings and compare them side by side for good measure. Perhaps that will give a more accurate perspective of Chris's quality. Anyone else think this is a good idea? I've already started looking for decent comparisons to contrast with Chris [[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 12:23, 12 May 2010 (EST)

I've noticed that many of his poses are awkward, forced, and stiff. For example, look at when Sonichu or Chris-Chan Sonichu throw a punch. Chris tends to draw the impact as an orangeish-yellow blob, with no sound effect, and it just looks like he's smashing an overripe fruit into some chump's face. Does he even pay attention to the cartoons he watches so religiously? He could at least study their techniques to get a more fluid, kinetic feel to his art. --[[User:The Iconoclast|The Iconoclast]] 02:08, 2 June 2011 (PDT)

== Rewrite ==

I've just given this article a major rewrite. I ended up cutting out almost seventeen thousand characters, but I did my best to keep the message of the article intact and consistent. I apologize if my revision seems too drastic. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 04:38, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
: Great work. Also a good proof that I have a tendency to ramble needlessly and often need an editor. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 19:31, 11 May 2010 (UTC)
Glad you liked it. I'm most of the way done with a like-styled rewrite of "Chris and Writing." [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 20:20, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

== His Fan Fiction??? ==

I could have sworn that Chris has some Fan Fiction about himself being a super-powered chick or something and blowing up his school...What ever happened to it? [[User:The Brave|The Brave]] 15:13, 30 November 2010 (PST)
: [[The High School Story]]? Not really related to art, except that some trolls adapted it into a pretty nice comic... --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:01, 2 December 2010 (PST)

== Pen Holding Technique..? ==

Em... I feel so stupid, now. I hold mine the very same way (Tablet Pen, Pen, Pencil... Anything of the like), even though my chopstick holding technique is how I SHOULD hold a pen. I can be casual with light sketching, but tighter lines and details call for a shift to that hold style...

But I use thicker pens with grips so it's comfortable...

Is than an Autism/Aspergers thing? I ask because it's odd that I've used the same technique since I was at least 5-8, and I've got Aspergers.

Granted, my art is easily better than his (isn't all of ours?), and I took some basic and then some classes in art (as in not standard school ones), and they simply worked around that problem. I should note that a teacher commented that my penciling and the like is better than my painting. Can't keep a brush steady too long...

But I found it kinda bizarre and alarming that he holds the pencil the same way as me, and draws like that...
--[[User:AsperGirl|AsperGirl]] 19:53, 23 January 2011 (PST)

* Well, I am an aspie, and I hold a pen correctly, but I have really old memories that I may have done that at one point, or it was another person who had more severe Aspergers, I honestly don't know, I can't have been more than 7 at the time, the memory is extremely fuzzy. I ''can'' say for certain, though, that I have seen that incorrect grip before, so you may be on to something. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:03, 7 August 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

2010-12-07T02:53:25Z

DStecks: /* Torrent */

==To do==
*add cover art of DVD
*summarize contents from DVD
*show highlights of stuff from the slideshow
*link to videos from DVDs
*drama involving DVD (trolls procuring it) and Chris's response

This is downloading on my seedbox and will be there until I run out of money. Max upload is 8 MB/s. Come grab it, faggots.

==official and originial listing==

C.W.C. YEP, I'M ON T.V. :)
DVD+R
4:36:28

1. C.W.C. ON T.V. TRAILER
MAR/2/07
8:00
2. CHRIS CHAN SONIC CHAMP 022694
2:04
3. SONG OF CHRISTIAN 051598
20:54
4. LEGO RACEWAY PROTOTYPE
0:32
5. LEGO RACEWAY 060498
12:43
6. UNFINISHED CWCVILLE TOUR 71201
0:49
7. CWC IN POKENEWS 101699
2:01
8. CWC'S ANIMAL CROSSING 112203
1:00:07
9. CWC ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL 060704
24:24
10. SO NEED A CUTE GIRL 122004
7:01
11. CWC HARVEY BIRDMAN 022405
0:29
12. CWC'S PIXELATHED PS3 112806
0:53
13. CWC SLIDESHOW
50:14
14. THE SONICHU BOOK
43:48
15. THE SONICHU COMICS
29:07
16. CWC'S CUSTOM PONIES
4:13
17. CWC'S FUTURE MESSAGE 022407
9:01

[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:08, 16 December 2009 (CET)

== Torrent ==

Nobody's seeding the torrent, anybody got a direct link they could put up? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:48, 6 December 2010 (PST)
*Scratch that. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:53, 6 December 2010 (PST)

Talk:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

2010-12-07T02:48:20Z

DStecks: /* Torrent */ new section

User talk:Pfargtl9000

2010-10-25T01:09:47Z

DStecks: /* Re: Duck */ new section

Archives: [[User talk:Pfargtl9000/Archive 1|1]]

== HEAR ME OUT ==

*I surrender completely to the great forces at /cwc/.
*I admit to all my crimes against the internet and humanity.
*I am held responsible, no one else, for the excess drama here at CWCki and /cwc/.
*I am the official drama llama of CWCki.
*I shall end my drama with this comment.
*I am the epitome of bitchfits on the internet.
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:32, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
*Dude, I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish but srsly dude. Page protected mostly for your protection, probably do the same for VanKrause.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:56, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

==Hey==

0100101001100101011011100110101101101001011011100111001101001010011010010110111001101011011010010110010101110011001000000110100101110011001000000100001101101000011100100110100101110011

http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp

You're welcome.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 19:10, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:k [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 14:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

==So, someone really needs to say this==

And I'm going to take the opportunity. There's a difference between censorship and not posting information that's still unclear. We don't really have confirmation that the money is the reason why Chris was at the mall, so we can't really claim that we do. Also,
*" Those that support Jenkins have opted for Communist-style censorship. It's easy enough to see that Jenkins is the Kim Jong-il of the CWCki."

HAHAHAHAHA no. -- [[User:Electro Gypsy|Electro Gypsy]] 19:42, 2 September 2010 (PDT)

:Email me at Sygerrik@gmail.com, please. Your questions will be answered.[[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 20:32, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Oh, I already know. I was more focusing on what he considers "censorship". -- [[User:Electro Gypsy|Electro Gypsy]] 20:48, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
:That was targeted at pfarty here. I am offering to explain what's going on and why people love JJ so much. [[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 09:22, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
:Who wouldnt love jj, he is the original creator of sonochou. [[User:Superwoman|Superwoman]] 10:59, 3 September 2010 (PDT)
::what the fuck is sonochou [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 14:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

==Legi0n==

Looking back on it, you were right about a lot of things you said about some people over there. I don't agree with you on a lot of things, but it looks like you had /cwc/ figured out.--[[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]] 18:32, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
:Most of the shit I said was wrong. But I know a few things were right.
:The elitist comment was somewhat right, because I know that Ickeriss (or Medic) was. But Ickeriss also has nudes and has signed up for vampire/werewolf roleplay forums. Also, everybody knows he got pissed when he lost his COOL ADMIN SKILLZ. This was why the Legi0n ED article was started (among other things).

:He also took credit for some of the shit you did. I honestly don't know why he outed you and banned you from Legi0n.

:(Tl;dr<nowiki>:</nowiki> Ickeriss is a fag)

:P.S: Jews did WTC [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:48, 6 September 2010 (PDT)
::>outed me
wat

Also he banned me after I quit along with another mod due to them being faggots. Our quitting was the eventual cause of legi0n being shut down + half the mods getting doxed.--[[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]] 18:26, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== Re: I have a few words for you ==

Well bra-frikken-vo to you. If you bother to read the history of pages, you'd see it's Cogs who originally started to remove such messages. I was just following suit. You should know how these things work by now. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 08:04, 18 September 2010 (PDT)

== stop putting that up on every page ==
if we decided to rid the entire section, we'll do it. christ. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:26, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

== stop making useless edits like the ones you're doing right now to the fan index ==
[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 12:18, 3 October 2010 (PDT)

== Re: Duck ==

Why are we not censoring Chris's duck? Nobody wants to see that shit. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:09, 24 October 2010 (PDT)

Chris and sex

2010-10-24T00:16:58Z

DStecks: Undo revision 120977 by Pfargtl9000 (talk) Restored sanity.

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (a.k.a. "[[hanky-panky]]"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
<div style="clear:right; float:right;">{{showhide|title=Show me some Chris Duck|width=225px|content=[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]}}</div>
In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl, as he admitted in a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart.

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high-school sex education, plus pornography. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, though he sticks by them religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies sound exactly like attempts to re-create what he's seen in porno movies, as opposed to any experience human beings might actually find pleasurable. Take for instance his assumption that [[Kacey]] would get off on a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face. Additionally, Chris seems to believe that while having sex, his partner's egg can [[Pregnant Act|go inside his dick and impregnate him]]. And that he'll give birth to [[Li'l Chris|a bear]].

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in ''Sonichu'' is a contradiction in terms (although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], Chris manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position — [[Chris and Sex#Chris in the act|with himself on top]]). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards women. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Mariana Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes […]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex and/or a girlfriend.
* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around eleven). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. \Sixteen was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
* Going with the above, in the "[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]", Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "[[hanky panky]]" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the Mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form (this would support the furry argument). Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref> It is unknown what qualities and traits he considers "sexy" for a dog.
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been some exceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]), but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He has also admitted to being aroused by said drawings<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit. </ref>. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. It has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has [[Chris and tolerance|prejudice]] against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]]<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being an only child, he has no experience with filial relationships, and autism ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him over [[Mumble]]. He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves girl-on-girl. He can't empathize with the parties involved, and only sees it in terms of how disgusting ''for him'' it would be to watch.

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly.

==Rape==
{{main|Chris and rape}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Anonymax

2010-10-20T23:05:45Z

DStecks: /* Re: Duck censorship */

You've been busy already - good job. Keep it up. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 13:36, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Thanks for fixing the typos in Mumble 3! Sometimes my memory fails me. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:04, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

== Re:User Template Categories ==

That sounds like a good idea. Should we start moving pages, then? '''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 03:18, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
* Hmm, now that you mention it, I tried moving the weeaboo category to change its capitalization but I didn't see the "move" tab.

:An awards/standard userboxes split sounds good. It'll keep the Awards category from being cluttered. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 03:36, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

* Got it. I'd delete them right now, but since I'm only supposed to delete vandalism I don't want to accidentally abuse my Jerkop powers. Maybe you should ask one of the higher ups to do it? '''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 05:11, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

==Re: New Shirt Icons==

Okay. I've been using MS Paint all this time, but I just downloaded GIMP (it seems to be a lot more user-friendly than I remembered). How many have you fixed so far? I can fix the rest if there are any left to be done. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 01:57, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
*No, I've got it. Thanks for offering, though. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 02:04, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
** I hope you do ZThe Joker shirt justice seeing as it actually is one of his best known shirts for raging now.--[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 21:55, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

== About the welcome template... ==
I saw your post on YawningSquirtleRedux's talk page and I understand your reasoning, but wouldn't it be more convenient to to just use the template rather than all the text itself? I mean, thats what the template is for isn't it? It saves file size and and can actually be just typed out, rather than having to copy paste it in from somewhere. Plus it makes the talk pages easier to navigate around without all that text there. I don't know about you, but to me, using the template seems it'd be the easier option. And i'm still not sure what'd be so bad about the user talk pages changing when the template is edited. Wouldn't that just mean they'd have the up to date version of the welcome? Besides, how often would we even need to change the template. It looks fine to me as it is. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:52, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

== Hey, buddy ==

[[Template:Zoroastrian|You forgot a userbox.]] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:26, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Ham ==

I'm amazed - nay, ASTOUNDED - that we have a template for that. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]], 21:40, 03 June 2010

== My Page ==
Thanks for cleaning up the userboxes. I kind of got the feeling I had done it wrong, but was too tired to mess around with it any more.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 04:57, 4 June 2010 (UTC)

== Uh, question. ==

I recently saw in my talk page's history something about you not wanting me to reinvent the wheel?
May I ask what that was about?
 [[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko]] 05:10, 4 June 2010 (UTC)DonnieDarko

== whitespace issues ==

Thank you so much for fixing the whitespace issues for the troll userboxes. I was wondering what was causing them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 19:44, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== Re: Your Jerkop application ==

In case you get this before you see my message in IRC, get in touch with me, I'd like to talk to you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:10, 11 September 2010 (PDT)

== re:Large Rollback ==

Ah, thank you! I'll be sure to remember that. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 13:26, 12 September 2010 (PDT)

== Talk pages ==

The point of talk pages is to... TALK. It doesn't have to have a standard or anything. Right...? --[[User:Tommy-Vercetti|Tommy-Vercetti]] 06:51, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

== I have a few words for you: ==

You especially, need to get off your high horse.

Funny how everyone on this wiki criticizes Chris for being full of himself, how ironic since it's common from the editors here too. I'm through editing this shit wikipedia. You editors are just as pathetic as Chris. Fuck you. --[[User:Tommy-Vercetti|Tommy-Vercetti]] 20:44, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

== Thanks for trying ==

Unfortunately none of those suit my needs, thanks for trying though. --[[User:Ashki|Ashki]]

== Hey, idiot ==

Thanks for destroying my work: http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Vivian_Gee_E-mails_2&action=historysubmit&diff=115313&oldid=115312 --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:40, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Work 1 section a time ==

Just like as I do. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:46, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== It's for future ==

Use the sections, there won't be conflicts of edits with someone else (probably). --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:51, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

==WTF==
I didnt "re-add crap" I removed the names of the 2 tards on the call. Check the version difference.
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 09:15, 24 September 2010 (PDT)

== Video icons with blank linkage, etc ==

Hiya. I edited a few of the "subject" and "style" [[Template:Video icon key|video icons]] that weren't pointing to links (i.e. they just went to file:image.blah and also were missing alt text), and changed one in particular ("Reason" under "style" pointed to the page for "Fail"; I changed it to "Chris and hypocrisy" since I figured there were plenty of examples and links for CWC's failures). Is there currently or will there be a desire to edit the icons in "shirt" and "other" similarly? If so, I'm willing to help, though not sure how people would want that done. There are only a few linked shirts so far, typically ones that are iconic of certain traits or events (e.g. the Pokemon shirt, the muscle bra). Others could be linked along the same way, like the "Rollin and Trollin" video for the "Trollin Style" outfit, or if something is ubiquitous enough it can just point to Chris's fashion page. The icons in the "other" category could link in the same way but I don't know if video types are categorized any further than the [[List of Videos]], nevermind that I'm not sure what qualifies as "live" or "directfeed".

Anyhow, I've always thought the video icons on the CWCiki are a neat touch. The shirts are all great. I'd only really change the "Rumors" icon because I always thought it was an old-fashioned weighing scale instead of a warning sign. Let me know if I can help. [[Image:Horse3.gif|Horsehorsehorse]] [[User talk:Horsehorsehorse|Talktalktalk]] 18:29, 30 September 2010 (PDT)

== Sorry ==

I was just trying to clear out some of the improper information and Clyde was jumping down my throat for no good reason, so yeah. --[[User:Ashki|Ashki]] 20:47, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:* Honestly though, I can tell where I'm not wanted, so I might as well take my leave. --[[User:Ashki|Ashki]] 20:48, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
:::Hmm. Arguing against Clyde is a bit like tying your shoelaces up before entering a Mosque - a waste of time. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 20:52, 1 October 2010 (PDT)
::::Still, you might want to reign some control over him, there was absolutely '''no''' reason for him to jump down my throat for making a simple mistake, it's as simple as that. --[[User:Ashki|Ashki]] 00:10, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
:::::I don't think it was your simple mistake that did it, my friend. Although maybe you caught me a bad time. (ur still dumb lol) [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:43, 2 October 2010 (PDT)

==New article==
I just made an article titled Chris and Cosplay, can you look it over and tell me if I did anything bad?--[[User:Lylelash|Lylelash]] 11:31, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

== Re: Duck censorship ==

We did in for the Chris and Sex article. It's the article for the damn protagonist of the comics, an obviously important page, people shouldn't have to look at Chris's penis unless they know what they're getting into. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 16:05, 20 October 2010 (PDT)

User talk:Anonymax

2010-10-20T23:05:28Z

DStecks: /* Re: Duck censorship */ new section

Sonichu (character)

2010-10-18T03:14:57Z

DStecks: Edited so that people don't have to see Chris's penis if they don't want to.

''This page is about the character. For others, see [[Sonichu (disambugation)]]''

{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new pokemon. And my name is… Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}

{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 17 March 1988 (in universe)
March, 17, 2000 (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] or Pikachu
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]
|-
|}
'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March 1988<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is an uncreative combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], and he is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and zaps to the extreme.

Sonichu's species, [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], evolves from a [[Sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu evolved from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more pointless and confusing.)

More recently, Sonichu can be found pounding [[Rosechu]]'s [[china|tom-tom]] and beating the living shit out of [[Jerkops|authority figures]].

==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon cards<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class with Miss Chalifoux. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being ridiculously simple, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] during [[Basketball]] Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program. 

After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D |Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokemon cards and other various and sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The comic was completed and released in [[2005]], five years after Sonichu's conception (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out!).

Sonichu's character design has slightly changed since Chris scrawled the first poorly drawn Sonichu. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), ''Sonichu'' took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for nearly a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the drawing skills of a six-year-old. Perhaps constant [[mass debating|masturbation]] leaves his hands sore, numb and useless.

==Fictional character biography==

{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, [http://sonichuandrosechu.com/SchusNews2.htm Sonichu's News Dash #2]}}

Sonichu came from a "freshly hatched" [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] that eventually evolved into a [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]], who "grazed, survived and had fun."

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a [[Jiggliami|Jigglypuff]] once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
<div style="clear:right; float:right;">{{showhide|title=Show me some Chris Duck|width=225px|content=[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]}}</div>

One day the city of [[Station Square]] was under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]], and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] attempted to battle the creature. While using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of [[Pokémon]]: Sonichu.

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]]. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. [[CWCville]]'s Mayor, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].

One day, while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which reveals that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretells of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], which transformed him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokemon created by the same effect that created himself and Rosechu. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

One day, Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall when Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]] into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.

One day, after having hours of sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis--pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent garbage.com building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing.

When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from [[Chris and anger|raging]] at [[homos]] and [[Women's rights|objectifying his wife]] in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger).

After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as [[Ultra Sonichu]] with some godlike powers of his own. After [[Collosal Chan]]'s crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"[sic]/witness in the mock trial of the [[Asperpedia]] Four, and after the predetermined verdict, took part in Evan's brutal execution.

Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing and chillin'. He enjoys outdoors activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a ''Sonichu'' cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>Mumble chat{{cite}}</ref>

He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at 14 Brunchville Lane, CWCville, Virginia, 02024-1982. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Christ almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]

Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]], or the not-so-retarded [[Bob|hero]] of the Chandler household), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked him between loyalty to [[Reldnahc]] and make him into the Mayor of CWCville, or let Rosechu to live, obviously, he chose Christian instead of Rosechu without hesitation.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg</ref> Like father, like son.

==Sexual prowess==
When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches (18 cm) long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu. Chris has also given very intense details to Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology</ref>
 

==Powers and abilities==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. His special attacks include:

* Sky Uppercut (punch to the head from below)
* Mega Kick (a, um, kick)
* Double Team (the attacker creates the illusion that there are, uh, three attackers)
* Spin Dash (attacker spins in mid-air, hurtling directly at victim)
* Zap Cannonball (attacker aims a projectile at victim)
* Iron Tail ( attacker swings his tail at the victim)
* Mud Slap (attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes)

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while Christian takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 km/h (124 mph), much slower than Sonic, who can apparently hit Mach 1 (1,225 km/h / 761 mph) unaided (so far, the best Sega has been able to show in-game is around 300 mph (483 km/h) in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|''Sonic Unleashed'']]). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 rpm, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze.

Thus, Sonichu fails as a Sonic ripoff.

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|He's not [[gay]]]]

One of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris, aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, is that Sonichu is a Mary Sue unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is fast, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambugation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Talk:Chris and tolerance

2010-09-26T03:12:51Z

DStecks: /* Nominate for deletion. */

This article on Chris's overall bigotry has now been created. I know that there are separate articles here already discussing his racism and religious intolerance, but I feel that there should be greater coverage of Chris's prejudice and ignorance towards other groups of people as well. I hope we can work together over time and expand upon this page. Thank you.

[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 19:02, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
:Why does everybody suddenly want to write a Chris And... article?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:23, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

:I'm unsure. But I'm still of the opinion that drafting such articles in user sandboxes first really helps ensure the article's quality will be up to scratch before it is created for real. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:35, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
::Agreed. Besides, I truly think there's no need for this. Half of this we can find out through the normal pages, not this. The [[Chris and Censorship]] page is one thing: it certainly merited a page devoted to what Chris has done to censor himself and others to make himself look good. This? This is more [[Chris and race]], really.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:44, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

True but I'm hoping to cover the breadth of Chris's prejudice beyond race and homosexuals alone. We've logged prejudice against groups like women and authority figures in some CWCki pages, but they have'nt been covered in it's own pages because Chris has'nt held them up to the extent he has towards blacks and homosexuals, so I think this page should bring everything together and explain his general intolerance for all the groups he dislikes. For what we know a lot about, it'll just be kept short and have it linked to their own articles (i.e. Chris & race). Sounds good?

[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 20:04, 3 May 2010 (UTC)Famicom64

Add also how chris wants everyone to tolerate his bs all the time, and how he can't tolerate anyone doing anything he doesn't likes.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:12, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

You've got a good idea for the page. I think that his overall prejudice beyond just homos and niggos needs to be addressed. He is far more intolerant of just that. His attitudes towards women do of course need their own article, and frankly womens rights doesn't cut it. Thats more explaining the actual term more than Chris's views of women. I say that the page should stay up, but it definitely needs some improvement first. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:15, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Page needs more links. Like if you write that Chris said such and such about someone, link to the article or link to an external source.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:48, 5 May 2010 (UTC)

"In Sonichu 10, Chris portrayed Ultra Sonichu as a savior of sorts, hovering down in a pose like Jesus on the cross. Then he has him and Collosal Chris-Chan being praised by the Asperchu characters like gods. "
This has nothing to do with Chris's tolerance of other religions, but rather his massive ego and god complex. [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 07:48, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== Nominate for deletion. ==

Okay, guys. Normally, I wouldn't advise something this extreme, but the fact is that this article, at least how it is now, is a worthless collage of thing that other articles already point out. If it could be reworked into an article that actually ''is'' about Chris's overall bigotry, i.e. perhaps about ''why'' he is so bigoted and intolerant, it might be worthwhile. Unless that happens though, this page is pointless. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 14:43, 23 August 2010 (PDT)

I agree. People were given time to fill out this page, but as it is it's nothing more than a directory.--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 13:06, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

'''I'M WORKIN' ON IT!!!!'''--[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 13:28, 24 August 2010 (PDT)

Feel free to delete the page if it's not going anywhere. Yes, I know I created the page to begin with, but if it's not going anywhere than go right ahead and delete it.--[[User:Famicon64|Famicon64]] 17:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Who is in charge of deleting stuff? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:12, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:GrandWizardBob.jpg

2010-09-26T02:59:08Z

DStecks: Created page with "Some Krapple fag totally called it. --~~~~"

Some Krapple fag totally called it. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 19:59, 25 September 2010 (PDT)

File talk:ARCH.jpg

2010-08-30T05:28:40Z

DStecks: Created page with "Win. --~~~~"

Win. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 22:28, 29 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-27T19:54:08Z

DStecks: /* Deliberately not invited? */

I am transcribing this BITCH. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:14, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fucking done. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:21, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Ahahahaha, Chris is going to organize the high school reunion by himself. This is awesome as it is, but we can't let this opportunity to troll him go by. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 01:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

How do we know that a reunion has already been organised, and that Chris was not invited? [[User:Sorrid Snake|Sorrid Snake]] 01:29, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

oh, i did some digging around. i don't have it on me, but i'm 95% sure there was one planned. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:30, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I think the single funniest thing in this video is that Chris implies he thinks the reason he cant break into the video game industry is because of trolls working for Nintendo. Also, i'm pretty sure he wants a reunion so he can hook up, I'd imagine the last women willing to associated with him were in highschool. Also, I dunno what to do with this, do whatever if you want, just doodling.[[File:Names.PNG|thumb|center]] [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 02:40, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Need any on scene reporters for this shit. I don't live that far away from Manchester High.[[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 05:23, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Sure. I'd post it here, but you Google it yourself....(chris if you're reading this you're a lazy shit). If the date is november then you got it. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I checked it out a couple months ago, and I didn't see anything that would indicate that they had planned a reunion. Besides, if I remember correctly, Chris was on one of the mailing lists to be informed if something did happen. Given that few, if any, of his former classmates are aware of his internet notoriety, I doubt that he would've been left out of the loop.--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 06:56, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Well, I have an address and date and time and everything. I'm sure that was probably a fake Chris... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Oh, I see. You were posting your answer as I was posting my hypothesis. Leave it to the great Clyde Cash to be one step ahead of Inspector Detector and I. --[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 07:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Side note. ==

One interesting thing I noticed while transcribing this BITCH. Chris repeats his number for emphasis- does he think YouTube is live? Like live TV? He seems to do almost all of his videos 'on the first take', mistakes included, so this would seem plausible. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*It's because doing multiple takes and editing is SO HARD and WAY TOO MUCH WORK. Also one take is much more TRUE and HONEST. Someone gets into it somewhere on the CWCki, but I forget where.--[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 06:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Transcribing his shit english? ==

We all know Chris can't present himself verbally, but it's getting to the point where it can be difficult to follow the transcription for his videos since they seem to be written out fairly close to verbatim to his actual speech. Since the transcribing seems to be done by a small group of people (thanks for that, by the way) it's fairly consistent, but even so, should there be some kind of guideline written up for it? Such as what mispronounciations should be included, what stuttering to include, that sort of thing?

:*First of all, sign your posts (it's just <nowiki>--~~~~</nowiki> at the end of your post). Secondly, some videos are transcribed like that- I transcribed part of Mumble 6 that way, mainly because it was Chris and Julie cybering and I really didn't need to go over and over that just to make sure I got every bit of his spastic stuttering correct. Speaking personally, I prefer to make the transcription as faithful as possible- including stuttering and mistakes. I believe that's the most 'faithful' way to render articles where Chris speaks, including this one. That's one of the perks about being a transcriber- you get to pick your style. If the inclusion of the stuttering (etc) really annoys you, the only thing I can suggest is to take a stab at the vast library of untranscribed audio we have available and transcribe it to your liking. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Hair==
So far, I've only looked at the thumb but from the image it really seems like his MPB is proceeding just as planned.
EDIT: Looked at the first few seconds. It's clear as day now. Chris is going bald really quickly. Anyone care to estimate how long he's got/ I would, but I don't know how to. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 08:04, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

:Think that as his MPB progresses we can chronicle his receding hairline? I'd be interested to see how quickly it is falling out now compared to the last few years. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

: I don't know how long he has but it really doesn't look healthy. It looks greasy and stringy and I honestly wonder how long it's been since he's bathed or washed his hair.
Either way, I'd say that he'll be completely bald by November. Just looking at it now compared to pictures from FAF, there's a very noticeable difference. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 10:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

::Oh, this ties rather nicely into what I said about his [[CWCki:Speculation/What health problems will Chris develop first|endocrine/integumentary troubles]]. He definitely has androgenic alopecia, and the last three years have been something of a turning point for him; if you've noticed he's lost nearly all of his hair in the temples(which is where it's first lost), and about half the area in the frontal, it's at about a Norwood3 now. As to when he’ll lose the rest, well, It's hard to give a set schedule on hair loss as it's so dependent on specifics, with some individuals it retreats to a certain extent and then stabilizes(bob for instance), or it might just progress at an increasing rate. Chris definitely seems to be the later: his life style is going to have a greater impact as he ages, and his increasing body fat means that his body puts together more hormones ,DHT(hair loss skin problems) included, this has a disproportional effect because Chris seems to be sensitive to DHT(which is hereditary) and other hormones can convert to DHT but DHT can’t convert to anything else. You can see how this has worked by looking at a this from a case study standpoint: most of the loss he had from 18-26 was at the ends temples which is in line with the adult hair line men develop; past 08 though he’s lost all his hair from the temples, and afterwards started losing it in the frontal(middle forehead) at a accelerating pace, essentially we can consider that to be the full onset. If I had to give an estimate on how it’s going to progress it’d be that his hair in the temples area will have gone to his vertex in about six months, and he’ll lose the frontal in that time to a year (If you look you can see that it’s patchy in the front, which means it’s micronzing and a becomes progressively thinner every hair cycle, that's why you see it get worse every few months), the next likely point of thing is going to be at the vertex which depending on factors might take as much as a couple of years to clear out. I think you could say with confidence that he’ll have advanced alopecia by the time he’s 30, namely that the clearings in his temples frontal and vertex will have linked into one larger sea of bald.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 11:39, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*Cool story, bro. Actually, i was looking for someone to say pretty much this. That seems to fit with my prediction range nicely, so that's pretty cool. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:45, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:Lolk, sorry about the TLDR, a simple answer just seemed misleading. I think it's pretty interesting that Chris seems to be trying his hand at a combover, so he's probably noticed. I wonder if he's going to try meds... given how extensive his hair loss is now(temple hair has been gone too long), he'd need a transplant to reverse it.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 12:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
::Chris can't even go bald with dignity. The worst part is that he still thinks he has a full head of hair. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 12:12, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Trollbusters==

Hmm, I wonder where Chris is getting his Trollbuster idea from? I've poked Google and beyond a website that shuts down patents, most of the Trollbuster gatherings were failures. Which isn't totally surprising considering who we're dealing with here, but still. My guess, though, is that he's probably either a) met a group on PSN or b) decided to come up with it himself.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:36, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*The answer is B.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:41, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

** Ironically enough, the real troll busters are a group of lawyers that specialize in patent law: "[http://www.troll-busters.com/ Troll-Busters]" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 09:52, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*** That website is as terrible as their services invaluable. ... Anyhow: given there's a Trollbusters truck with a no-trolls logo, we can assume he's riffing on the more-popular Ghostbusters for once. You'd think he'd put the no-troll logo on the t-shirt instead of a block of text, but then Chris is a lazy idiot, so! [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 10:00, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Next thing you know he's going to be talking about the cyberpolice and how consequences will never be the same...--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Alumni Class==
So I checked online and found that Chris actually has 8 accounts with the alumniclass.com website. While you don't HAVE to pay for membership ($20) they give you a limited profile where you can't really do anything if you don't pay. Chris may have paid for a number of the memberships. This is really sad for Chris because, using a limited profile, I was able to find the reunion date and place in a few seconds. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:27, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
* So, was Chris deliberately not invited to the reunion, or is it just that he hasn't found out about the reunion because he's a retard? [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:40, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:99% chance that those accounts are trolls. Learn to spot 'em... Besides, despite just about everyone saying they know the date/location, NO ONE has offered those bits of info. Instead of so [[ego|self-assuredly]] saying that Chris missed out and was uninvited, why don't we offer proof of this claim? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:00, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
::Fine: 504 Old Lynchburg Rd Charlottesville, VA 22903, November 08, 2010, Noon, I can even put in the contact info. I withheld it because I thought Chris might be watching this. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 11:28, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well... I stand corrected, then. I'm fairly sure Chris is already well-aware of this in any case. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:39, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Deliberately not invited?==

I wasn't "invited" to my five-year reunion because I'd moved a mile away from where I lived in high-school in the interim and I wasn't very connected socially with anyone from my class before or after. I found out about it, I showed up, I paid the $20, and that was that. I'm not sure anyone is really invited to their high-school reunion—it's put on and they're just informed of its existence. The invitation is implicit.

A more likely scenario is that no one was wont to research the current whereabouts of like 300 other people so they just organized the damned thing and didn't make it a secret. Chris might even have seen the information about it on the Internet not been able to wrap his retarded, autism-riddled brain around the idea that just because it's on the Internet doesn't make it the work of trolls just because he has a unique history of being trolled.

*You know, ''I'''d be pretty fucking paranoid if I found out that for the last two years of my life the only people I've had contact with were people who hate me and enjoy watching me fail, and that most, if not all, of the major events in my life in that period were orchestrated by said people. Just saying. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 12:54, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

He might just think what many of you seem to think—that if it were a real reunion, someone would've contacted him if they wanted him to come. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 11:17, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Chris and tolerance

2010-08-23T21:43:04Z

DStecks: /* Nominate for deletion. */ new section

Talk:CWC 3D Voice Check

2010-08-22T04:34:50Z

DStecks: /* So has anybody... */

._. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 22:50, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Gah! Looks like it's been removed. Hopefully someone snagged it.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 22:57, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
**I summon Edward! In attack mode! [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:01, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
**Actually just look at the article. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:02, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
::*fucking learn to save shit yourself. go get Downloadhelper for firefox or something. ffs. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:02, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Downloadhelper works great. Thank you Clyde.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
Please explain how their copyright rules factor in. There's loads of shit about this shit on their site already that doesn't get removed. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:52, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*It was the most logical reason I could think of. But after reading Djyellow's comment below I could be wrong. [[User:Xynar|Xynar]] 00:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**I'm more inclined to think it was because of copyright infringement. Just because you've seen some flipnotes with registered characters that don't get removed doesn't mean that they don't remove them at all, and Chris' flipnotes are getting exposure to the point where they may have felt the need to remove this one because of that. I also don't see a rule against posting your own name in a flipnote, just a few meant to protect the identities of others.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 05:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
== Why the flipnote was removed ==

Just to note, I reported this Flipnote before it was taken off for "Personal Content."(Like I'm doing with most of Chris's Flipnotes. --[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 23:52, 30 June 2010 (UTC)Djyellow
:...I-I'm sorry, but I don't think trying to toss all of Chris's stuff off because of "Personal Content" like his name is the way to go. The guy doxdrops just about every time he talks on YouTube. Just because he puts up "Christian W. Chandler" in each of his stupid Flipnotes is any reason for ANYONE to ditch it. If it's his address or something, fine, but not his name. Let him wallow in his own misery when they find out who he is, not take the initiative.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:57, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

:Please stop doing that, Dj. Just because he slaps his name up doesn't mean they should be taken down. The entire point of this site is to keep record of everything he does and removing his flipnotes doesn't help with that. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:43, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

::No, getting them nuked probably isn't a bad thing: we've already backed up all of his stuff so they're really only around to give him an ego stroking, and you see, as his maze animation(which he was all smug over) getting taken down made him have a hissy fit. Taking out his stuff makes him go into rage mode and start rambling against trolls as we've seen; so yes it's very much to our benefit if we get everything we've backed up removed or get him banned, he'd only keep shitting out more anti-troll flip notes and or videos.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 03:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

::does chris get a warning saying his things got removed because of Personal Content? if so, he either will be confused and pissed, or he'll think he can't write his signature (that's nice chris, show everyone your signature all the time so others can copy it) and will have to get creative and put his name in another way.

== Small request ==

Could someone post a link to a downloadable version of this video? For some reason I can't seem to be able to make the Youtube video play.--[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 01:12, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, I'm having playback problems too. Must be a problem with Youtube or the video's codec. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:41, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
::Works fine for me. Just for you, I've uploaded it to RapidShit. http://rapidshare.com/files/404180715/Flipnote_Hatena_-_3-D_Stupidity__www.keepvid.com_.mp4.html [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 01:56, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Thanks!--[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 01:59, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

==So has anybody...==
Actually busted out a pair of old 3D glasses to see if it works?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:Very funny Delebonte. I was actually asking that for the purpose of the article. It claims it doesn't really work but doesn't go into further detail.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:12, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
::I don't have a pair handy, but anyone with a cursory knowledge of anaglyph images could tell you that Chris is doing it wrong.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 06:53, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
::I was the one who said it didn't work in the article. I did so because I tested it with a pair of 3d glasses and it, well, didn't work. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes let's bore evveryone half to death with an explanation of how 3D works. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 07:22, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:Pretty sure nobody was, and I'm pretty sure everyone who's ever been to Disneyland already knows anyway. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 07:32, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:I actually adjust my previous statement. Anyone with a cursory knowledge of ''Chris'' could tell you that Chris is doing it wrong.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:: I think it's pretty obvious the 3D doesn't work because the red shapes aren't the same as the blue shapes. Just look at Prime's smokestacks. I'm pretty sure Chris thought that putting some red lines next to blue lines would instantly create a 3D experience similar to Avatar and he'd have to beg to stop the masses of pussy from flowing to him. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 16:47, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
::: You'll be happy to know I just tested it out with a pair of 3-D glasses and it doesn't work at all. not even kind of. It barely looks like it's sticking out, and some bits (Inspector Gadget and Optimus Prime in particular) are just fucked. I'm going to revise the page to reflect this. EDIT woops forgot to sign. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 21:34, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

Autism

2010-08-22T03:28:00Z

DStecks: /* Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism */ removed egregious fail piping.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and generally irreversible; there is no cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, even the most casual of observers would conclude that Chris is basically non-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]]. The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.{{cite}} Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never had a real girlfriend, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Despite all this, though, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]], yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how an [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "God put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrating Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_white_woman_syndrome "Missing White Woman Syndrome"], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll|trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|left|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]
*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor Roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not lying off his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologers]] much easier.

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with objects are also a definite sign of autism; this is evident in Chris due to his obsession with his Sonichu medallion. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects.

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==

{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's bad, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder. Per the lyrics: "A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!" To Chris, that's all it is— a condition that makes you a little smart and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris considers himself to be of "the First Generation of Autistic People," suggesting that he believes the disorder did not even exist before him.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers Christian Weston Chandler's Opinion on the Autism/Aspergers Comparison.]</ref>

When explaining his condition to [[Matt Devoria]], Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors, despite scientific research to the contrary. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents (Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived) are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Chris's specific agenda on this issue is clearly based on his desire to have non-autistic children, and his fear that potential [[sweetheart]]s (or their parents) will reject him if they think he will sire nothing but retarded babies.

On one occasion, Chris has blamed the cause of autism on "a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth,"<ref>[[Mailbag 12]]</ref> apparently in reference to the highly disputed controversy alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has an awareness of the facts and assertions of the case, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors. Furthermore, Chris seems oblivious to the fact that this completely contradicts his usual babysitter story.

Inexplicably, Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism (high-functioning or otherwise) with [[Asperger's syndrome]], a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times Chris has said that he dislikes Asperger's because advocates of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy from autism awareness. He's also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger's was the most effective way to troll him, culminating in the [[Asperchu]] saga. By now Chris just hates Asperger's because it reminds how angry he got the last time someone brought it up, so his hatred of it has become completely baseless. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality (lack of sex-drive) is very common in autistic people, this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "Love Quest" and suggests that he is probably trying to compensate for his inability to feel sexual attraction, even if that does mean becoming a pervert.

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he opined that our society is spending so much time on the internet that we're ''all'' becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This just went to prove that a) Chris has no fucking clue about his own disorder and b) people with no social contact should not attempt social commentary.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism. Doubtless he picked this up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout elementary, middle, and high school.

Responding to a letter in [[Mailbag 12]] asking for his advice on how to raise an autistic child, Chris said, "Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." In [[Mailbag 15]], when asked for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's," Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child." (This was before the word "Asperger's" became a hot button in the Mailbags.)

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read from a lengthy printout of information he downloaded online about autism. After quoting a passage that talked about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken with the aid of trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, gib'em the special treatment while they're young...but when you geddem in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced him (i.e., ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a PlayStation 3). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is— a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows onto hell" and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

File talk:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG

2010-08-22T03:19:04Z

DStecks:

Dead Set Eyes:

Is is just me, or in this photo, it is clear that he is not looking at the camera but setting his sights on the girls sitting across from him? -- [[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 8:19 July 22, 2010 Eastern Standard Time.
* As day. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:19, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

Can't read, no she can't read my rape face. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 13:27, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

Creepy stare

2010-08-22T03:16:39Z

DStecks:

[[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|thumb|right|He thinks it's cool]]

The verdict is in. You gonna get raped.

Chris seems to employ multiple '''stares''', all trying to project a different emotion and all nearly identical to each other, a la Derek Zoolander. He has used them to display anger, frustration, romantic interest, or sometimes an intentional lack of emotion, almost like an autistic variant of a poker face. Like many of Chris's strange [[CWC-isms|mannerisms]], this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; autistics tend to have difficulty understanding and expressing the kind of non-verbal social cues that are second nature to most people.

Chris may think that his stare is a sexy and seductive gaze or an intimidating glare that will force his adversaries into submission, but to ordinary observers, it invariably comes across as creepy or out-of-place.

{{-}}
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Creepy-Stare3.jpg
Image:Creepy-Stare5.jpg
Image:Creepy-Stare1.jpg
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|You just know he's planning [[Rape|something]] based on that expression.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|This photo almost makes you feel sorry for [[Anna McLerran|that bitch]]...
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|Learning at an [[1980s|early age]].
Image:Modnationstare.png|He even incorporates it into [[Video games|video games]]
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|Possibly the most frightening [[Nudes|clothed]] image of Chris.
Image:Whatthefuckiswithhisrighteye.jpg|Srsly, what the fuck is with his right eye?
Image:Csof111.JPG
Image:295.jpg
Image:Chris2.jpg|For some strange reason or another, Chris thinks his gaze is sensual.
Image:Cwc_csof.JPG
Image:1240785819569.jpg|[[Fan:CWCVille 1984|BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.]]
Image:Creepychris.jpg|CHIIIIIIINNNAAAAAAA...
File:CWCstare1.png|[[Sonichu 10|OBJECTION!]]
File:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|''Fun for the whole family!'']]
File:Creepy-Stare6.jpg|In the dark...
File:Simonlaweed.jpg|Dat Face.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Pedo-Glasses]]

==External links==

* [http://cwcstare.ytmnd.com/ Chris-chan stares into your soul.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB0KPHqjwZw Tribute to the creepy stare.]

{{Mannerisms}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Creepy stare}}
[[Category:Mannerisms]]

Sonichu (character)

2010-08-20T03:30:29Z

DStecks:

''This page is about Christian Weston Chandler's TRUE and ORIGINAL fail OC, Sonichu.'' 
''For other uses of Sonichu that also fail, see [[Sonichu (disambugation)]]''

{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new pokemon. And my name is….Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}

{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

[[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|thumb|ORIGINAL CHARACTER (DO NOT STEAL)]]

'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March [[1988]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is an uncreative combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]], and he is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and zaps to the extreme.

Sonichu's species, [[sonichu (species)|sonichu]], evolves from a [[sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu evolved from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more pointless and confusing.)

More recently, Sonichu can be found pounding [[Rosechu]]'s [[china|tom-tom]] and beating the living shit out of [[Jerkops|authority figures]].

==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon cards<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class with Miss Chalifoux. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being ridiculously simple, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of Bionic the Hedgehog during Basketball Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program. 

After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D |Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokemon cards and other various and sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|Sonichu #0]]. The comic was completed and released in 2005, '''five years after Sonichu's conception''' (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out!).

Sonichu's character design has slightly changed since Chris scrawled the first poorly drawn Sonichu. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), Sonichu took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for nearly a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the drawing skills of a 6-year-old. Perhaps constant [[mass debating|masturbation]] leaves his hands sore, numb and useless.

==Fictional character biography==

{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, [http://sonichuandrosechu.com/SchusNews2.htm Sonichu's News Dash #2]}}

Sonichu came from a "freshly hatched" Pichu that eventually evolved into a Pikachu, who "grazed, survived and had fun."

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a Jigglypuff once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
<div style="clear:right; float:right;">{{showhide|title=Show me some Chris Duck|width=225px|content=[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]}}</div>

One day the city of [[Station Square]] was under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]], and Sonic the Hedgehog attempted to battle the creature. While using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of [[Pokémon]]: Sonichu.

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]]. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. CWCville's mayor, Christian Weston Chandler, congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].

One day, while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which reveals that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretells of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], which transformed him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokemon created by the same effect that created himself and Rosechu. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

One day, Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall when Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]] into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.

One day, after having hours of sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis--pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-Cent Garbage building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing. Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing, and chillin'. He enjoys outdoors activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a Sonichu cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>Mumble chat{{cite}}</ref>

He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at 14 Brunchville Lane, CWCville, Virginia, 02024-1982. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Christ almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]

Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked him between loyalty to [[Reldnahc]] and make him into the mayor of CWCville, or let Rosechu to live, obviously, he chose Christian instead of Rosechu without hesitation.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg</ref> Like father, like son.

==Sexual prowess==
When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily 7 inches long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu. Chris has also given very intense details to Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Biology</ref>
 

==Powers and abilities==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. His special attacks include:

* Sky Uppercut (punch to the head from below)
* Mega Kick (a, um, kick)
* Double Team (the attacker creates the illusion that there are, uh, three attackers)
* Spin Dash (attacker spins in mid-air, hurtling directly at victim)
* Zap Cannonball (attacker aims a projectile at victim)
* Iron Tail ( attacker swings his tail at the victim)
* Mud Slap (attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes)

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while Christian takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 KM/H, which translates to roughly lower than 125 MPH, much slower than Sonic, who can hit Mach 1 unaided (so far, the best SEGA has been able to show in-game is around 300 MPH in Sonic Unleashed). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 RPMs, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze.

Thus, Sonichu fails as a Sonic ripoff.

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|He's not [[gay]]]]

One of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris, aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, is that Sonichu is a ''Mary Sue'' unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is fast, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8]], during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambugation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Talk:Zapina

2010-08-05T05:10:59Z

DStecks: /* Looks */

==Looks==
I don't think she was copied one bit from Illumise. Does she really look anything like [http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/pokemon/images/a/a2/Illumise.jpg this]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:30, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
*''No.'' She resembles another, but my brain fails me on which one. I think it was one of the Gold/Silver creatures, but I don't remember.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:04, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**I'm not seeing it among any of the bug 'mons. Or any 'mon at all. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 19:43, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

*My personal theory is that her design isn't based on any actual character, but is instead constructed from what he considers hot. Honestly, nobody could truly say "I am not a pedophile" and dress an underage character in ''that''. Unless of course, that was part of their characterization, that they are overly sexual for their age, but that is clearly not the case here, as no fewer than three characters have stated that she should be ''more'' sexual, ignoring the fact that characterization of that type is far beyond Chris's capabilities. tl;dr: She isn't Asuka, she's just a pedo fap fantasy. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:42, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

*has anyone ever considered the character from Knuckle's Chaotix [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cf/Charmy_Bee.jpg/200px-Charmy_Bee.jpg Charmy Bee]? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_from_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(games)#Charmy_Bee wiki entry for Charmy]]It's a Sonic character, and it's already a bug, and we know how much Chris love to rip off sonic concepts. He probably just pulled a "Simonla" on Charmy and of course at the same time threw in the unholy mixing of more than likely a pokemon, probably the one mentioned above, Illumise. Thats my own theory as to where Zapina came from anyway... --[[User:CaptainBilly|CaptainBilly]]

*Now that you mention it, they do look somewhat similar... --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*I didn't see any pokemon resemblance either until you said something, then I noticed slight resemblance to beedrill and possible scizor. Of all the mons, it probably looks most like illumise/volbeat,but has no real resemblance to either, so I looked through all the mons and found nothing. I think we can safely say that whatever it is, a mon it is not. [http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/175/a/1/All_pokemon_by_chao_monster.png Source] [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*Nope she's a partial ripoff of tinkerbell. They are both blonde, that weird thing in the back of her head is actually a hair bun, her clothes are mostly green and she glows. Thought she dresses more skanky than tinkerbell.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 14:16, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

*''Fuck'' guys, she's ''[http://shonenwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/FMA_Winry_Wallpaper800-302424.jpeg Winry]''. That's unmistakeable. Just when I had hoped Chris wouldn't fuck up my favourite comic ever, he goes and pulls this shit. EDIT: Mind if I alter the page to reflect this, or are you guys unsure about the connection? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 22:08, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

==While I'm here==
The whole "find yourself a 16-year old boy" thing has always struck me as odd, and I've always felt that it implied that when Chris was 16, he had a crush on a 14 year old, seeing as this is a proxy for his life. He's trying to sway the girls of today to seek out males who fit Chris' description, or in this case to seek out males who used to fit his description when he wanted them to want him. I've rewritten those last two sentences like 8 times now, I can't sculpt my ideas well at the moment I guess, but I hope you can understand it. Basically, because he was a lonely 16 year old virgin with rage who wanted a 14 year old, he's being a selfish prick and trying to get 14 year old girls to want 16 year old guys, even though it wouldn't really help him NOW. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This bit makes no sense to me--it would require Chris to worry about people who aren't him, and that's something he just doesn't do. It could be that Chris thinks he could pass as a sixteen year old(and the lowest he'd date, if the law changed, is 14). Going by his twisted sense of consent, if a 14 year old girl mistook him for a 16 year old when he is in fact 28 and consented to sex, he is not guilty of statutory rape.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:40, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::I don't think he's doing it for someone else; remember that each of his characters is an extension of himself. By doing this, he's effectively consoling himself, as if saying "Nobody else was there for you, but we would have helped you if we were there". Meh, I'm tired. Probably doesn't make sense to any awake people. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:06, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Zapina

2010-08-05T05:08:58Z

DStecks: /* Looks */

==Looks==
I don't think she was copied one bit from Illumise. Does she really look anything like [http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/pokemon/images/a/a2/Illumise.jpg this]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:30, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
*''No.'' She resembles another, but my brain fails me on which one. I think it was one of the Gold/Silver creatures, but I don't remember.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:04, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
**I'm not seeing it among any of the bug 'mons. Or any 'mon at all. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 19:43, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

*My personal theory is that her design isn't based on any actual character, but is instead constructed from what he considers hot. Honestly, nobody could truly say "I am not a pedophile" and dress an underage character in ''that''. Unless of course, that was part of their characterization, that they are overly sexual for their age, but that is clearly not the case here, as no fewer than three characters have stated that she should be ''more'' sexual, ignoring the fact that characterization of that type is far beyond Chris's capabilities. tl;dr: She isn't Asuka, she's just a pedo fap fantasy. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 20:42, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

*has anyone ever considered the character from Knuckle's Chaotix [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cf/Charmy_Bee.jpg/200px-Charmy_Bee.jpg Charmy Bee]? [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_recurring_characters_from_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(games)#Charmy_Bee wiki entry for Charmy]]It's a Sonic character, and it's already a bug, and we know how much Chris love to rip off sonic concepts. He probably just pulled a "Simonla" on Charmy and of course at the same time threw in the unholy mixing of more than likely a pokemon, probably the one mentioned above, Illumise. Thats my own theory as to where Zapina came from anyway... --[[User:CaptainBilly|CaptainBilly]]

*Now that you mention it, they do look somewhat similar... --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*I didn't see any pokemon resemblance either until you said something, then I noticed slight resemblance to beedrill and possible scizor. Of all the mons, it probably looks most like illumise/volbeat,but has no real resemblance to either, so I looked through all the mons and found nothing. I think we can safely say that whatever it is, a mon it is not. [http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/175/a/1/All_pokemon_by_chao_monster.png Source] [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

*Nope she's a partial ripoff of tinkerbell. They are both blonde, that weird thing in the back of her head is actually a hair bun, her clothes are mostly green and she glows. Thought she dresses more skanky than tinkerbell.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 14:16, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

*''Fuck'' guys, she's ''[http://shonenwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/FMA_Winry_Wallpaper800-302424.jpeg Winry]''. That's unmistakeable. Just when I had hoped Chris wouldn't fuck up my favourite comic ever, he goes and pulls this shit. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 22:08, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

==While I'm here==
The whole "find yourself a 16-year old boy" thing has always struck me as odd, and I've always felt that it implied that when Chris was 16, he had a crush on a 14 year old, seeing as this is a proxy for his life. He's trying to sway the girls of today to seek out males who fit Chris' description, or in this case to seek out males who used to fit his description when he wanted them to want him. I've rewritten those last two sentences like 8 times now, I can't sculpt my ideas well at the moment I guess, but I hope you can understand it. Basically, because he was a lonely 16 year old virgin with rage who wanted a 14 year old, he's being a selfish prick and trying to get 14 year old girls to want 16 year old guys, even though it wouldn't really help him NOW. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 17:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This bit makes no sense to me--it would require Chris to worry about people who aren't him, and that's something he just doesn't do. It could be that Chris thinks he could pass as a sixteen year old(and the lowest he'd date, if the law changed, is 14). Going by his twisted sense of consent, if a 14 year old girl mistook him for a 16 year old when he is in fact 28 and consented to sex, he is not guilty of statutory rape.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:40, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::I don't think he's doing it for someone else; remember that each of his characters is an extension of himself. By doing this, he's effectively consoling himself, as if saying "Nobody else was there for you, but we would have helped you if we were there". Meh, I'm tired. Probably doesn't make sense to any awake people. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:06, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-08-05T05:03:24Z

DStecks: /* Have the mods given up? */

{{Not A Forum}}
Get all of chris's comments, save his flipnote bullshit creations

and uh

yeah. he favorited over 71 PAGES OF THESE FUCKING THINGS

[[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Archive of comments in progress. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:13, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016
Fuck, he knows we filmed him. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*By the way, it's page 22 of the comments.
:I disagree. This is not conclusive confirmation that he was aware of people filming him. He could easily be referring to previous times where people have witnessed him out and about (like the Michael Snyder incident). He may have suspected people were following him about there but we don't know if he was aware for sure. I sense we may get a new video soon. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:22, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:*At least he didn't comment on all of them. I'm thinking get screencaps of everything he commented on and save his comments?
:* I've saved all his comment images and plan on uploading them shortly. I would guess we can just link what the image is replaying to in the gallery captions. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* Uploaded - I had to change the format from the source GIFs since they don't play nicely with galleries. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== jesus fffffffff ==
Chris has favorited over 2000 of these things. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*:Yeah, I'm not about to list those. It's pretty obvious he just hits favorite on everything he moderately likes. Still I guess I could skim them to see if any TRUE AND HONEST Sonichu fanart is in there.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 23:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Holy mother of fuck, hahaha! ==

God, it's like this is all he did yesterday besides pretend the party was some kind of slo-mo rave to get underage girls at! --[[User:Eniggy|Enig-HAHAH]] 00:31, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Uh, hm. Yes, that is what happened. Thanks. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:33, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris has no hope of getting back to a normal life. The trolls are going to follow him and torment him until the day he dies, and he's unable to do a thing about it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

^ *Insert requiem for a dream music*--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:21, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Chris could very easily get back to a normal net life. The problem is, he can't help but be Chris. If he would stop signing everything and talking about himself in every post, he'd just be another guy on a forum. If you'll notice, most of his posts are either unfunny random humor that would be loss in the morass of the same or him shilling his custom content. Cut out the second and he'd fit right in. He'll never resist yelling about his Sonichu modkingdom or whatever custom thing he makes next because he's an idiot. On another note, Chris thinks that negative tone = lie given one of his quotes. I mean, no matter what sort of spin we put on it, that video of him humping a blow-up doll exists, no? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Chris doesn't seem to consider negative tone=lie. Rather, this is just an example of his tardlogic. When he says "EVERYTHING OUTSIDE THE PRE-HACKED CWCIPEDIA, MY OKCUPID PROFILE, AND MY YOUTUBE ACCOUNT IS A LIE", he expects everyone to simply ignore everything that is not on one of the sites.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:11, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:Troll Rage (Obama-style).PNG]] All five parts of it. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:38, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Sheep, man, you got this all wrong. Chris logic isn't as complex as 'negative tone = lie'. It's even more simple than that. It's 'something he disagrees with = lie'. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

And on a seperate note: Damn. You guys move fucking fast. How the hell do trolls find shit like this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:08, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Don't tell Chris but there's a bug in his DSi. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::If that's true then DAMN does Clyde have moles in Sony ''and'' Nintendo?? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Clyde secretly is the real Shigeru Miyamoto. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

I have to agree with OFSheep, the problem with Chris is that he wants attention, and he has to PUT SONICHU EVERYWHERE, and stuff his ego into every orifice.
He will always have the unwanted attention, until he learns to stop attracting it. but he can't do that, just like chris will stop being called gay when he stops denying it by dressing up like a homo [[User:SenorTucan|SenorTucan]] 18:13, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Animation==
A crappy animation was just posted on Chris's FH profile, though it could be the work of trolls, so someone with more behind the scenes information should add this.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 17:38, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*Wow, that's something an eight year old whose parents buy him twelve iPhones a year could do in a minute. I'm still waiting for Bob to finally ban him from the computer and the DSi. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
[[File:UltimateNightmareFlipnote.png|thumb|Just kinda weird, really.]]
::I dunno. It's crappy enough to be a Chris-Chan creation, but it seems like it's a step above him all the same. The whole "Really slow guy with annoying beep" is something Chris would probably consider a nightmare, sure, but I don't get why he would make this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
::Fuck it, adding now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:55, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:: I'd say it's the work of trolls, compare the handwritting with the others, besides, the guy is standing on straight lines, an impossible feat for chris, and the video description is too elaborate to be chris's.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:01, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
*cries a bit* This is the most beautiful thing ever.... [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]
::: Do you think the trolls managed to hack into Chris's Flipnote Hatena account? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: unless someone stole his DSi, this is chris. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 22:09, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
Holy fucking shit this is creepy. [[User:Pedonymous|Pedonymous]] 14:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's autism just evolved to Ulillillia's level. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:22, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't really think they're even close to eachother. Uilillillia's crazy, but he's the innocent sort of crazy.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:35, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Yes, but this just the kind of animation Ulillillia would make. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 21:39, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Not nearly enough parallax or supernaturality to be an Ulillillia animation. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
*Does this remind anyone else of that Suicide Mouse video that /x/ put out there a while ago? Same concept, a thing walking on a loop with a weird, repetitive noise in the background. Except this is shitty and not creepy like the other one. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 19:07, 22 June 2010 (UTC))
:*this one is also creepy, but mostly because of the annoying beep and emptyness.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:19, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:**It's like David Lynch minus the artistic integrity/batshit insanity/baby puppet apparently made from a cow fetus. [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 22:21, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==CWC Got Told==

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D6047619382_000#535E907031CED2BB-c11539868617741172339 Comment #8] by Foxstar(id: Rashala) "Please do not post on my channel ever again". I'm looking to see what I can find that would cause him/her to say this. Anyone know?
:Nothing by foxstar is on Chris's comment list and I'm not about to go through a 3 pages and god only knows how many comments of furfag content trying to find a Chris comment that might not even exist. It's probably just some faggot begging for attention.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Because Chris linked his stupid video to her 4chan channel which has nothing to do with the ACTUAL 4chan since chris is a lazy so...yeah. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:38, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== "Bill for Anti-Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" ==

The "Bill" part of that just hit me. Chris wants to make talking bad about people on the internet illegal. Again.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to believe that he's gonna bring up this idea again sooner rather than later. If he does, new content for Chris and law.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*Not only did that suck, but it was also just a quick mod to the original, much like Youtube Poops, which are still funnier than anything he's ever done. Also, [http://chrisisagaytrucker.ytmnd.com the GIF got YTMND'd.] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 00:38, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

The really sad thing is, once again, the actual message goes completely over his head. The song basically says if you get trolled, you brought it upon yourself for being a naive retard. It's about personal responsibility, a concept alien and threatening to Chris. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:18, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:Well I guess his "Internet Bad Mouthing Campaign" against the evil Mary Lee Walsh, this greedy Micheal Snyder, etc, doesn't count. He's above the law after all, of course. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:48, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

== New Flipnote Animation - "HippoOnYourHead" ==

Chris uploaded more random access humor on the flipnote, as evidenced [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user|here]http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Flipnote_Hatena&action=edit&section=6

He seems to be trying to garner ratings with his little plea at the end.
[[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 16:51, 24 June 2010 (UTC)ScottBNickles
:lolwut?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:55, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:<s>What does that message in the end mean? "Please add one green or a bunch of yellow" is that more RAH?</s> Disregard that, now i understand what it means.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::Where did he get "Buck Williams" from? [[User:ScottBNickles|ScottBNickles]] 17:14, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::A quick google search shows that buck williams is a basketball player and character from the Left Behind books. knowing chris' readin habits, i suppose he refers to the former.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:34, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::I'm still wondering what inspired the hippo part and the letter. Possible ripoff of things he's seen on the internet or Flipnote Hanata? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::[[Random-access humor]] He's been using the phrase for YEARS. he can't even have new original random access humor. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 18:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::I knew about that, but I have a feeling I've heard the hippo part somewhere before. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:27, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::Regina E-mails. She actually calls him out on it, but he just sort of blows her off.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:05, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::::: @Eniggy Maybe Hungry Hungry Hippoes? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
:::::::::Nah, never had one as a kid, but my memory is thinking it has to do with the internet. Then again, my brain's probably skewered the memory I had of it now, so I've probably forgotten and confused enough of it that I'll probably never figure out where I heard it from. Oh, well, that's life, I guess. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

Did Chris actually draw this? Cuz that animation is kinda...good [[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 03:54, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, but it looks like frames drawn in MS Paint. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 03:56, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::Fuck,if Chris spent all the time he wasted on Sonichu doing shit like this he might actually have accomplished anything. I mean, it's not really anything of any quality but considering this is Chris, it's the motherfucking Mona Lisa. I mean...it actually looks like it was drawn by someone over six...-[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:01, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Additionally, the handwriting shown in the letter(Dear Sir blah blah) is actually kinda neat. Comparing that to Chris's usual handwriting which looks like he stuck a pencil up his ass and made like a dog with worms just makes me more skeptical as to whether this was done by Chris -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:07, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Much like that stop-motion lego race video he made, if a Gameboy is his medium, he's a passable artist. What he fails at is sculpture, illustration, and singing/song writing. Too bad he's convinced himself he's a savant in all those things. --{User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:10, 25 June 2010(UTC)
:::Personally, I'm giving it two days until we discover where he ripped that off from or which troll made it for him. Chris can't write like a normal human being. Period. -[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 04:18, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Someone needs to make ripoffs of these, claim they're originals, and then accuse Chris of copying. And then an army of trolls needs to back the ripoffs up as the 'True and Honest' originals. -[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 04:30, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
::::: It won't work. These things have upload dates on them. Our supposed originals would be uploaded later and would show it. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:48, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== Youtube mirrors? ==

Chris's first two flipnotes could be summed up with a single screencap, and the troll song was just Chris vandalizing a few frames, but if the hippo thing is any indication, Chris has turned to his DS for all his fame-whore needs. It would be much easier to display this stuff if we could just compile them into youtube videos. Is it even possible to save these things?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:44, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oME_VeGVZo .--[[User:J0haely|J0haely]]19:13, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
::brb making YouTube Poop of it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Awesome job with the videos, but I guess we need some new templates for Chris's animations. It seems to me that we'll be getting these instead of new videos for the immediate future.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:06, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::: Cool, but can you make one of the 8-Bit video? --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 6:11 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::<s>The original 8-bit or chris's plagiarism?</s> Disregard that. here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIHni4FDTK4 [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 12:23, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== 8-Bit ==
Has anyone told this poor man that an autistic manchild has bastardized his animation and used it in his own war against trolls? He should be given a link to the CWCki at the very least. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:42, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:I started an account to post on all his things, so I or Beat or someone else might have to do this.

EDIT: Just told 8-Bit in a post with a link to this article and the CWCki. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 22:29, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:Good man! If we're lucky then this 8-Bit guy might be able to give us his say. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:49, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::Especially since Chris is exactly the kind of person he's making fun of in his Don'tGetTrolled animation. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 06:47, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== More Random Access Humor ==

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A92F380B0_002?in=user

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A97E15FBC_002?in=user

God, I can't understand what the fuck he's saying any of these. --[[User:MonkeySorski|MonkeySorski]] 15:34, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:I can tell you one thing... the "why'd you hit me" gag is from Drake and Josh. Moar plagiarizing! -[[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 19:39, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

::I'm pretty sure the whole thing is plagiarized --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 20:34, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Yep, he ripped off the late Charles M. Schlutz by stealing material from Peanuts. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:26, 26 June 2010 (UTC)
::::It's stolen verbatim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0 --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:28, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

:Shouldn't Random Humor 1 and 2 be on the same page, since they are a continuation form each other.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:54, 26 June 2010 (UTC)

== The Summer person from CWC's comments on videos= CWC Ego Boosting Account? ==
I was trolling as an impostor Chris (TRUE_and_HONEST_Chris) to see if he reacted, but someone else did. Here's what "Summers3594" did because of it:

"I Don't Have TIME FOR YOUR SLANDEROUS ACCUSATIONS AND MISINFORMING! I Shall Be Off Now!

I'll Return When Things Have Calmed Down!...And When My Dad Lets Me! "

"I AM NOT TRYING TO BE YOU!!!! Where do YOU get the idea that I am trying to be the GREATEST HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISTIC EVER? "

"I AM NOT CHRIS! NOR AM I TRYING TO BE THE TRUE AND HONEST CWCVILLE! I am ONLY ensuring that HIS GOOD NAME not be TARNISHED by NAIVE TROLLS like YOU!"

Also, "Summers" has done no uploads and their favorites( http://ugomemo.hatena.ne.jp/Summers3594/following ) are pretty similar to the ones Chris favorited. That, and there's a big love for Family Guy, one of Chris's favorite shows. That, and there's an obvious lack of intelligence, but some things show through that show signs of being on our side.

So, is it a fellow troll, or a second account for Chris to boost his ego with? You decide. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:06, 27 June 2010 (UTC)
:I'd go with troll, but let's see how this plays out. --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 05:24, 27 June 2010 (UTC). Thanks for reading!
::Troll, Chris is too stupid to even think about making a sockpuppet. -- [[User:MonkeySorski|MonkeySorski]] 05:29, 27 June 2010 (UTC).
:::Adam Stackhouse saga anyone? --[[User:Banzai881|Banzai881]] 05:38, 27 June 2010 (UTC)
::::The summers person made an account yesterday. [[User_talk:Msummers|He/She says it's a troll scheme.]] [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 12:10, 27 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::Summers3594 here, this is a fellow troll, albeit, my scheme is more making him think that he has real fans to make him more confident in himself, rather than do something negative to him. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:37, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::Mine's designed to play the part of a fan so jealous he goes out of his way to impersonate Chris, but with many flaws, as most internet impersonators are. This is done to confuse Chris, which could possibly help with your plan. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 02:27, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
== Another new Flipnote. ==

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DA28892A0A2_001?in=user
:Apparently, Christian's trying to make a good name for himself on Flipnote now, not sure how people will react, excited to see though. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:43, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
::Flipnote 404ing for me as of 9:31 PM CST. Must be having server issues. Also, main link redirects to a Wikimedia page. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 02:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

== Info About Stars ==
For those of you who don't know Flipnote Hatena's Star system, here is how it works. Just like the five star, 10/10, and thumbs up/down are part of the rating system, so too are stars. If a user sees an animation he or she likes, that person has the option of giving gold, green, red, and blue stars. Users have unlimited gold stars to give but will have to pay money in order to give other colored stars. Green being the cheapest to buy while red being the most expensive to buy. Users can also pay to obtain boxes that contain stars, from 4.99 USD to a whooping 99.99 USD. Users can give themselves unlimited stars and start their account out with three green stars. It's no wonder why our fellow autistic has so many stars.--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 06:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Wow, that IS interesting. I also noticed that he has a Plus account, which is supposed to give him a few extra bonuses, but by the looks of it, he has to pay a monthly fee for it. I guess we'll hafta see if he keeps it come next month!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:51, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

*On a side note, users who gave stars can also take those stars away, causing an immense lowering of one's [[heart level]].--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 07:01, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

:*Actually, Chris's Plus Account is free for one month and is then deactivated. After that, you have to pay for it. If one could get Chris to pay for it, well, sucks for Chris. Of course, Chris will pay for it anyways.--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 07:01, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

== The Offical Sonichu Channel ==
I just added my Sonichu Channel I made to the External Links selection of the article, so all you trolls with a DSI should start submitting Sonichu bashing Flipnotes on my Channel so Chris could notice.--[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]]
:I'm buying a DSi XL this week (bigger screen, easier drawing) so I might have to jump on this bandwagon. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 18:02, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
:That's super duper, true and honest, and pretty convenient of you, Djyellow. Thanks!--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 19:25, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

== He's Blocking Posters ==
Just discovered I got blocked from posting on his things, so I started a temporary one (Jimithan_T_Hill_101) to put up fake legal notices on his things to scare him, due to him being dumb enough to believe these things. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*I just checked the "Blocking Users" setting of Flipnote Hatena, and he can block only nine users. SUCKS FOR HIM.--[[User:Whoopwoo|Whoopwoo]] 20:35, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**It'll be interesting to see how that ends up turning out, since it's not going to be long before more than 9 people are down his throat. Also, I checked on the 'mail' thing in the FAQ, it appears that the messaging service is unavailable outside of Japan, so anyone wanting to privately message him will have to coerce him into giving his email address or getting some sort of messaging program. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 20:58, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
***So far, two of my accounts have been blocked by him. If I keep it up, with help from others, we may be able to flood Chris's posting controls beyond the nine person limit, leaving him to embarrass himself on Flipnote Wapanesena. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 04:17, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Reporting Chris==
If you want a moderator like me to Report Chris, just tell me some shit he did on Hatena and I'll be on my way. --[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]]
*Would that be a good idea though? Some of us are here to increase his ego so he'll return to the scene with a bit more lul-worthy antics, however, in the case that doesn't work, a kick in the ass to get him off hatena and back on youtube might be needed. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 21:09, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Might not be a good idea to increase his ego you know? Many inculding me are not very fond of Smuggy Chris at all. besides for reporting him, what I think we should do is start advertising my Sonichu Channel in his comments page so he can soon find out about it and see it is full of Sonichu Parodies and hopefully set him off. Though, I;m just a Idiot,--[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]]
**I'm getting a hang of this "not a forum" thing, so let me refer you to the box at the top. However, while we're on the topic, find me anyone other than you who doesn't like Smug Chris. I personally like it because it makes him confident, which leads him to do something incredibly stupid, which then leads to a downward spiral of Stress. Others I'm sure like him because they love to spread happiness and autistic sunshine throughout the world. However, there's no real reason to dislike it, unless you disagree with me and thus are wrong. We need results somehow. Smug Chris always ends in a result. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:27, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
***Results are good. Smug Chris is not. Smug Chris's downfall into Emo Chris is good because he is no longer smug. Smug Chris just frustrates me because I don't have magic powers, and thus can't reach through the screen and punch the motherfucker. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
****Notice that including real-life info, including your real name, in an animation is against the ToU and grounds for your animation being taken down. All we need to do is report his submissions for breaking the ToU because they all include his real name, and we're golden! --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 15:29, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
****And I just got his "Women Only" video removed by reporting that it had his name in it and was trying to get personal details from other members. Shows that it works, and we can fuck with him --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 15:00, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Page split ==

It might be worth splitting "Chris's entries" into a separate page, perhaps [[List of Chris's Flipnote Hatena submissions]] or something like that since he's going to have quite a few. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:00, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
*I'm on it, boss.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:14, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Oh, dear lord. ==

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DB382BE63AA_004?in=user AAAGH MY EYES IT'S BLINDED ME] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 16:58, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DB5581BF274_002?in=user Oh shit, he posted it again.] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 19:14, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Sequel to the Tagged Flipnote ==

http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DB81F1E5674_005?in=user

Chris appears to have made a second 'tagged' flipnote. This time for everyone who he thinks deserves a 'smile and a happy thought', titled "for women only". Looks like he's continuing his sweetheart search even on Flipnote. [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:48, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

==OH SHIT YOU GUYS==
http://ugomemo.hatena.ne.jp/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DBF8CE838FE_002 -[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 21:31, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*What? That link just brings up a 404 error. --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 13:29, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Plus status gone? ==
Have you noticed Chris's plus status is gone? It hasn't been a month. I think Chris got it taken away! Maybe even worse ahahuaheauheuah [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:00, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:I think he got banned! His user id is missing, the tabs for starred, comments are gone as well and they're starting to take his Flipnotes down!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:08, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, hate to be a post fag here, if there is one, but I did a double-check - Chris's user id is still active and still has plus. They might have shut down that page.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:14, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Yeah, I think something happened. damn me being on an airplane to not find out. Something is up though. I go through id Chris-chan and I can find his flipnotes but nothing else. I go to ID Sonichu and I can find his favorites... hm... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:22, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::::I just hope we get a rage video out of this. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 00:29, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
Yes, Chris has been Temp banned on all Hatena related services.
--[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 00:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Can anyone say "Captain's Log tonight or tomorrow"? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 00:57, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::Dj, when you say 'temp banned', how long do you mean? A few days? Or a few WEEKS? [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:00, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
A week at most. --[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 01:04, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Hm...Considering who we're talking about, I believe a reaction will occur within the next two days. It will be big, it will be brutal, and it will be...hilarious. Question is, what to do when he gets his flipnote back? [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:06, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::I'm not sure if the mods banned him for a week, but I put that on the tracker until we get an exact estimate. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:08, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
Forgive me for making a mistake, but I just chatted with one of the higher ups at hatena and his ID is not banned. However, his DSi's access to Flipnote Hatena and ability to upload flipnotes is banned for life. --[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 01:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Oh shit, that's sure to infuriate him. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:14, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::That's actually better than a week's ban! Either he's going to buy another DS, or he's going to release a video depicting Shigeru Miyamoto as Michael Snyder. I still give him two days. Thank you for the info DJ! [[User:Msummers|Msummers]] 01:19, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Just you wait and see. Chris will buy another DSi with his tugboat and somehow figure out how to change his house's router's address and come back in full RAAAAAGE. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:44, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::: Well, his only other source for him to communicate with the internet has been banned. Either he's going to openly defy Rocky, or he's going to go bawwwing to her and she'll scold him for not staying offline. The end result: Hilarity will ensue, one way or another --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:05, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Not sure where to put this email but...I thought it might belong on this page.

Hatena Customer Support
to me

show details Jul 8 (Today)

Hello,

This is Hatena Customer Support. Thank you for your email.
Please accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you.

We investigated the posts by the user you specified shortly after receving your email and have already taken some administrative action.

In the future, please report inappropriate Flipnote or comments posted both from the PC or from the Nintendo DSi by doing the followig:

From the website:

To report inappropriate comments on a specific Flipnote, first click on the "Report inappropriate content" on the page of the Flipnote where the comments you want to report appear. On the following page, click on the green "Comments" tab that appears and select the comments that you wish to report.

From the Nintendo DSi:

Tap on "Help" from the top menu of Flipnote Hatena. Scroll down to the "Help Center" and read the section "How to report an inappropriate comment".

We also recommend that you block comments by any users you are having problems with. For more details please see the URL below:
http://d.hatena.com/flipnotehatena/20091111/1257933666

If you have any further questions please let us know, and thank you for helping to keep Flipnote Hatena a safe place for everyone.

Sincerely,
Aaron

===========================
Hatena Customer Support
support@hatena.com
http://d.hatena.com/flipnotehatena/
===========================

On Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 8:07 AM, <contact-form@flipnote.hatena.com> wrote:

From: (guest) @gmail.com
Country/Device/Kind: United States / Personal Computer / Report inappropriate content

-----
Hello. I have a 10 year old daughter who recently came to me and stated that a nearly 30 year old man using this website was stalking her and making inappropriate and suggestive comments towards her, such as saying she is "cute" with a "cute voice" and wishing she lived closer. This is appauling and I demand this user be removed. His name is chris chan or Sonichu or some such nonsense. I will be reporting him to local authorities for being a child predator and I demand he be removed from your site. I have looked over his comments to others on this site and he is doing the exact same thing. This is sick.

--[[User:Frozenblwf|Damn dirty troll]] 00:16, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

==Making Articles Agree==
Chris's flipnotes were removed because of his signature. Posting your real name is against the rules. Look at the removed flipnotes and the five that remain on his account. The survivors only get a C.W.C. at most, while each removed one has the whole "Christian W. Chandler." ''An Old Classic Dream'' is the only exception, being porn and all, but I'm guessing it was the first to be reported and thus was the first the mods noticed. Many articles state they were removed for "copyright violations" when no such restrictions exist on Flipnote Hatena. I've seen music from major labels and Family Guy sketches on there with no problem.

I'm going to clean up some articles that have that incorrect reason. I figured I'd state why I am here. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:43, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

==July 24==
Chris re-uploaded every one of his flipnotes except Tagged Flipnote, Edit Me, For Women Only, and My apologies. Looks like he might have bought a new DSi.--[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:43, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Looks like he just got his monthly tugboat. He never learns, does he? I have also noticed that he disabled commenting on these flipnotes. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:53, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:How much longer until second bannination? BTW, his own creations may be locked from commenting... but NOT the Flipnotes on which he has commented, hint hint. Also, a cue to our resident cherry flower to start making "I heart Sonichu" flipnotes again... --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:04, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I wish we knew more about this SakuraBlossom chick. But I agree, SeventhBase, if she did somehow find out Chris was back, I'm sure she'd start posting more FlipNotes immediately. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:46, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
::I'm under the impression that she's some sort of troll trolling trolls. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:57, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh dear god, not this again. Chrissy, when will you learn?--[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 05:35, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:To be fair, he's probably also trading Pokemon with himself. Still, the idea he would go this far out of his way to upload his stupid shitty animations is pretty depressing.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:06, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:Let's count shall we? He's obviously has the first model for the DS, then he bought a DS lite, then he bought 2 DSi, and soon he'll buy the 3DS when its released. Chris will be the owner of 5 DS if he is really as predictable.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 16:43, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
*Now I have to wonder - does he have a second DSi or does he have that DSi XL or whatever the bigger DSi is? My guess is that he has the newer model DSi, thus Chris is gearing up to have all of those DS.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 18:06, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
Well, already a few of his Flipnotes have been removed from viewing on the Nintendo DSI and are being checked. --[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 22:46, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
:And he's reuploaded them AGAIN. Jesus, how many times is it going to take for him to realize he's doing something wrong? Or does he just plan on buying a new DS every month for a week (or less) of trying to get underaged girls?--[[User:Straw|Straw]] 03:07, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
::At first I thought maybe he's still in the dark why his Flipnotes keep disappearing. Often mods will remove content from sites without notifying the offending user. And with Chris' history of trolls hacking into his accounts and messing with shit, it's not a unlikely conclusion to jump to. Then I remembered he made a Flipnote directed towards to mods to stop deleting his submissions. Now I'm wondering if he's made any attempt to contact the mods and ''ask why'' they're removing everything. Probably not, Chris lacks any deductive or inquisitive qualities and sticks with the first assumption that pops into his head. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:33, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

==Do the "Tugboat Template" fits here?==
I wonder about something for a while; Chris had to use another Nintendo DSi to evade the hardware ban. Since he's most likely brought himself a new one, do this qualify as an expanse made by the taxpayer via the tugboat? If yes, do the tugboat template fits at the top of this article? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:04, 26 July 2010 (UTC)
*I think the link to the tugboat in the article suffices, the template would be confusing as to what exactly it is he bought until you read that part anyway -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 00:23, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
**On the contrary, he set up his account free, and Flipnote Studio is free. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 01:08, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
**Yes, except his DSi was banned from the site, so we're assuming he bought a new DSi.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 04:56, 27 July 2010 (UTC)
***overuse of those got-dang oversized templates all over this wiki is lame imo -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 05:06, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

No. Make a DS page or something. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:06, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

==Sock-puppet Accounts==

Am I right in assuming these are against the sites policy as well? I hope the mod's can trace by IP, than Chris will really be fucked. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 00:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

:Why would you hope for this? But well, I'd rather hope he could come back to dA. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:18, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

:Some of them are probably trolls, for all we know. But the fourth one is a [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|strong candidate]] for being a CWCpuppet.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 03:06, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
::One more thing: I'm fairly sure the mods have his unique DS ID. That's how they banned the first one. If they were sockpuppets, then the mods would know immediately because he sent the stars from the same DS. I doubt he's clever enough to use multiple DS's to spam stars. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 03:13, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:::This would be "clever"? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 03:38, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Remember, Chris doesn't have to have a DS to make new accounts - he can make them on the internet. To get the most of it, he'd need other DSes.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 03:40, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::Pardon, SoulofChaosAgentofLight would be me. I made the account to comment on his videos before I realized he'd disabled commenting, but I went ahead and starred up his creations just 'cause. Sorry for the confusion [[User:Draykon|Draykon]] 02:59, 31 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::My apologies, then. Probably looks like a bunch of trolls - especially the one who gave him 9001 stars.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 03:13, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

==Flipnote Hatena Plus and comment enabling==
I just noticed a little badge next to Chris' username (his id was also changed from id:Sonichu to id:CitizenFlipNote) that indicates he paid for the "premium" service. For $32 a year he can have UNLIMITED favorite artists and can use COLORS when making comments! Holy shit! The only thing that might be of use to him is the option to see statistics for views. Just another way for him to stroke his ego.

Also, it seems he's re-enabled comments. Two people have already commented, and the comment box is shown on all his other Flipnotes. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:47, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Have the mods given up? ==

Does anyone know exactly why the mods aren't deleting his posts anymore? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:10, 4 August 2010 (PDT)
* I think it's less of them giving up than some of the trolls finally getting it through their heads that flagging every one of his Flipnotes is counterproductive.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 19:59, 4 August 2010 (PDT)
** That was my second guess, but I figured that the GIFT being what it is then certain trolls wouldn't stop reporting them. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 22:03, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:Clyde Cash

2010-08-05T01:13:33Z

DStecks: /* Clyde lives! */

== Oh, how fun it is to play with your names on Team Fortress 2.==
The killboard depicts what CWC would like to do. Sadly, it will never happen. Well, not so sad, but, eh. Tazmily took this screenshot.

http://i31.tinypic.com/2mh5vv5.png

==Split==
Anyone in favor of splitting off the prostitutes conversation transcript? Since "Let's get Chris a hooker" is a popular trolling plan (which has been attempted), it might be worthy to go into detail about the hooker call and whatnot. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:21, 22 September 2009 (CEST)

:Just make a page called HOOKERS INCIDENT or something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:45, 22 September 2009 (CEST)

==To do==
*artist depiction of Clyde Cash (ideally in police sketch style)
*drama involving Clyde.
--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:45, 10 February 2009 (CET)

I'm just curious. What exactly were Chris's passwords?~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
*One of them was "nutmeg." He has since changed it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:27, 12 March 2009 (CET)

The article could be a bit more encyclopedic in tone, as it was mostly done by Clyde himself and while he has many strong suits (like reverting vandalism), writing wiki articles are not one of them. So yeah, some revision could be used. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:12, 30 September 2009 (CEST)

== Should he be in the "Real people in Sonichu comics" catorgory? ==

I know clyde isn't real, but he's a persona of someone and Chris put him in the comic.

== In the comic ==

He's wearing 2 shades of light purple, I'm supposing Chris is trying to get back at Clyde Cash by infering that "Clyde Cash" is gay.([[User:Drlugae|Drlugae]] 21:23, 15 May 2009 (CEST))

fuck that shit, i'm a pimp [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 08:25, 16 May 2009 (CEST)

== Death ==

So, when did he die? I've seen the date as both the 22nd and the 23rd. --[[User:Lime|Lime]] ([[User_talk:Lime|Scold?]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lime|Undo?]]) 08:32, 24 May 2009 (CEST)
*Should be the 22nd, since he died on Friday. It's been fixed. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:19, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

==Prostitution thing==

I think it can get its own article. The transcript seems to detract from the article being about Clyde. Obviously, it deserves to be mentioned, but I think going into the whole thing in Clyde's article is a bit much, when the article should be focusing on Clyde and what he's done and not so much focus on the things Clyde has done. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:19, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

== Clyde lives! ==
If Clyde Cash the Second ever gains even more importance that's the official name... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:33, 1 August 2009 (CEST)

* Or Clyde the White. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 18:13, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

==I sure as shit hope he's still alive==

That would be awesome if he was. That'd be one of the most epic trolls of all time. [[User:LStaley416|LStaley416]] 17:52, 16 August 2009 (CEST)
*Yes, LStaley416, there is a Clyde Cash who is still alive. He still exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Clyde Cash's!. It would be as dreary as if there were no LStaley416s. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

:Not believe in Clyde Cash! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the doors each night to catch Clyde Cash, but even if they did not see Clyde Cash coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Clyde Cash, but that is no sign that there is no Clyde Cash. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

:You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, LStaley416, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

:No Clyde Cash! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, LStaley416, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:14, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

*actually i'm still dead. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 21:38, 14 October 2009 (CEST)

*Well shit. I'm really gonna miss you, Clyde. You were fucking awesome. [[User:LStaley416|LStaley416]] 23:11, 14 October 2009 (CEST)

== Return of Mr. Sin Dinero ==
Since Gregg Mays has made a return...how do we en corporate this into the article with a funny explanation? Funniest gets to be put into the article for real. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:45, 17 October 2009 (CEST)

== Needs to be updated ==

--[[User:Sonijew|Sonijew]] 08:55, 30 October 2009 (CET)

==Separate article for Gregg Mays?==
Clyde has stated that Clyde and Gregg are suppose to be the same individual, but Chris only has a fuzzy notion of this and treats them separately. I think that a separate page detailing Gregg, or rather the ensuing saga, may be in order (in the very least, we can start a [[Gregg Mays saga]] page). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:51, 30 October 2009 (CET)
* I was going for that but then I just stopped the idea because it was stupid. I didn't know Chris could be confused for THIS LONG HOWEVER [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:43, 1 November 2009 (CET)
*Mays certainly deserves more than a sentence. --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 01:50, 1 November 2009 (CET)
**Agreed. However I do not think we need to make an entire seperate page for it. I believe the article should be updated containing a section on Cash's alias, as well how he is mentioned in Chris' recent videos. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 21:23 1 November 2009 (EST)

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-08-05T01:10:42Z

DStecks: /* Have the mods given up? */

Talk:Flipnote Hatena

2010-08-05T01:10:27Z

DStecks: /* Have the mods given up? */ new section

Talk:Anchuent Prophecy

2010-08-03T20:37:38Z

DStecks:

That darkness medallion shit makes no sense. What if, for some crazy reason, another idiot named their kid Naitsirch? What the fuck happens then?~[[User:gourmetpickle]]
*Then somebody's going to be very confused. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 13:37, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

==Pic==
Someone get a pic, we could feature this article. I've discounted this article before as it's one of those things from the comic I tended to overlook but now, wow, I had a "Man, Chris is really fucked up" moment. Maybe that scene of the Cherokian fellow telling Chris this shit? I'll check the Cherokee article if that pic is there. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:13, 26 November 2009 (CET)

CWC 3D Voice Check

2010-08-03T20:31:47Z

DStecks:

'''CWC 3D Voice Check''' is [[Chris]]'s eighth addition to the [[Flipnote Hatena]] which was uploaded on 30 [[June 2010]].

Unlike his previous heavy handed attempts at popularity and [[ego]], Chris falls back on impressions, imitating those such as [[Optimus Prime]], Meatwad, Inspector Gadget, and Popeye. Each imitation is separated by a static screen, an idea he stole from ''Robot Chicken''. He also plagiarizes ''[[Monty Python]]'''s running joke, "And now for something completely different;" after ripping off this line, he mentions [[CWCFlyingElephants|Monty Python's Flying Elephants]]. While Chris's impersonations aren't quite as bad as one would at first assume based on his previous attempts, they still display a complete lack of skill and practice, and are not impressive in the least.

Interestingly, Chris tries his hand at 3D, but it doesn't work, making 3-D another thing Chris [[fail]]s at. This was inspired by another 3D flipnote Chris commented on which he called "[[honor roll|geinus]]" [sic]. This of course meant that [[Chris and copyright|he would steal it]].

The flipnote was later taken down, most likely due to [http://flipnote.hatena.com/rule-1-en Flipnote Hatena's] rules regarding [[copyright]]. If not, then because of his signature, as sharing one's name is another violation of the rules.

Along with most of his previous works, CWC 3D Voice Check was re-uploaded, unaltered, after his ban evasion on July 24.

== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = CWC 3D Voice Check
| video = {{#ev:youtube|whQCzwAG2Ng}}
| stardate = June 30, 2010
| previous = [[For Women ONLY]]
| next = [[My apologies]]
}}

==Transcript==

[[Image:Prime facepalm.jpg|thumb|Optimus Prime's reaction to Chris's impersonation.]]
[[Image:Meatwad 08.jpg|thumb|Meatwad after hearing Chris impersonate him.]]

''[The flipnote is in "3-D", though very simplistically; there are overlapping red and blue versions of the drawing to give it a simple 3-D style]''

IN 3-D!

It's

Some "CWC" Voice Checks

''[4 Cartoon Characters, some of whom Chris has used before, appear one after the other on the screen, with a drawing of TV-Set style "Static" in between. Each one is voiced by Chris, giving some stock lines from each character. Listed below with their lines:]''

[[Optimus Prime|Optimus Prime]]: "Autobots, Transform and Roll Out!"

[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Meatwad]]: "I'm meatwad, I'm a ball of meat..."

Inspector Gadget: "Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!:

Popeye: "A-g-g-g-g-g-g-gug! I eats me spinach every day!"

''[Chris voices each screen after this in his terrible British accent.]''

And now for [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|something completely different...]]

It's

[[Monty Python|MONTY PYTHON'S]] [[CWCFlyingElephants|FLYING ELEPHANTS!]]

LOL!

Have a good and safe Day. Christian W. Chandler
{{-}}

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena]]

Talk:CWC 3D Voice Check

2010-08-03T20:31:00Z

DStecks:

I Gotta Make My Move

2010-06-06T02:50:46Z

DStecks: /* Lyrics */ added a word the transcript missed

'''"I Gotta Make My Move"''' is [[Chris's]] version of [[Wikipedia:Rod Stewart|Rod Stewart's]] "[[Wikipedia:Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?|Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?]]."

Chris's cover is about taking a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to his "apartment" for [[hanky-panky]]. He also encourages sexual harassment of women in the chorus by saying if you "need" a woman, [[Megan|feel free to touch her without her permission]].

==The Song==
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|Qr-LGYlwLRA}}
</center>

===Lyrics===

[''sung over Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?"'']

She sits alone 
Waiting for suggestions 
I'm so nervous 
Not knowing what the hay to say there 
My mind is blank 
Her feeling with good ideas (?) 
Don't you just know exactly what we're thinking
 
If you want her body 
And you think she's sexy 
come on darn boy let her know 
If you really need her 
Just reach out and touch her 
come on dumb boy tell her so 
Tell her so, man!
 
I'm acting shy 
Looking for an answer 
Come on dumb boy go spend your night together 
Now hold on a minute 
Before we go much further 
I beg for a dime so I can phone my mother 
We catch a cab to my high-rise apartment 
At least I can tell her exactly what apartment
 
If you want her body 
and you think she's sexy 
Come on darn boy, let her know 
If you really need her 
Just reach out and touch her 
Come on dumb boy tell her so
 
My heart's beating like a drum 
'Cause at last I got my girl home! 
At last you made it and y'all are alone 
Alone!
 
We wake at dawn 
'Cause all the birds are singing 
Two true lovers forgetting what we're thinking 
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining 
We have each other 
We are not complaining 
I said "I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee." 
"Never mind sugar, we can watch an early movie."
 
If you want her body 
And you think she's sexy 
Come on dumb boy let her know 
If you really need her 
Just reach out and touch her 
Come on dumb boy tell her so! 
Hey, man!
 
If you need her 
Just reach out and touch her 
Come on dumb boy let her know 
If you really, really, really, really, really need her 
Let her know 
Just let her know 
Just reach out and touch her 
Come on dumb boy let her know
 
If you really need her 
Just reach out and touch her 
Come on dumb boy let her know 

If you really - If you really need her 
Just come on and tell her so
 
Just reach out and touch her

{{Hedgehog Boys}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

User:DStecks

2010-05-29T20:25:29Z

DStecks:

Talk:My Little Pony

2010-05-29T19:32:27Z

DStecks:

==To do==
*Pictures of Chris's My Little Ponies (each individual one and the general collection as seen in his room)
*Origins of Chris's fascination as related to Megan
*There should also be direct links to CWCki articles and not links to YouTube video in regards to the videos where you can see MLPs hanging from his wall. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 14:50, 28 August 2009 (CEST)
----

Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqVMZFTifmI has a picture of one. --[[User:Ritegroic|Ritegroic]] 07:24, 11 March 2009 (CET)

==Someone get me a pic!==

If someone can track my down a really good image of his MLP collection, I could ID them and point out the rare ones, if any, and see how much money he's blown on this shit. There are some that are $200+ in value. I've looked at all of the shots of his room I could find but to no avail. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 04:09, 12 May 2009 (CEST)
: Does [[Megan Shrine]] help? [[:Image:Etc ebay bid.PNG]] shows bids but not wins. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 09:13, 12 May 2009 (CEST)
:: It does, a bit. From these, I see absolutely nothing rare at all. I was at LEAST hoping to see one of the Christmas ponies that go for about $50, or the European only ones that fetch a fair price in the USA. All of these could be obtained at Walmart for God's sake. But they're being obtained on eBay? Also, he might want to be careful keeping those around VHS tapes. The G3 My Little Ponies- which those all are- all contain magnets in the hooves. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 01:29, 13 May 2009 (CEST)

== Hair? ==

Where was the part about him using his own hair confirmed? On Camo-Flage, Ty Game, Johnlamence and Squall it looks to me like he cheaped out and used colored thread. [[User:Walter|Walter]] 10:55, 3 June 2009 (CEST)

== Squall Metal Alchemist ==

I was just reading the bios Chris made for his custom ponies and I think that Chris thinks that Edward Elric's name ''is'' Full Metal Alchemist. Just a [[random-access humor|random]] thought that came into my head. --[[User:Spandam-sama|Spandam-sama]] 21:03, 5 December 2009 (CET)
*Chris watches FMA. I'm going to have to kill myself now. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 19:32, 29 May 2010 (UTC)

== Rehairing ==
I just had a fridge moment re: hairing. It seems like when Chris did his custom ponies, he rehaired the mane and not the tail. This is a bit ironic to me. See, the main is made up of what's called plug holes. They're a bunch of holes that go up and down the pony's head, and you have to take a sewing needle or similar instrument to put the new hair plugs in. On top of that, removing the old hair is a pain in the ass as you have to pop off the head and very carefully remove the hair, because if you're too rough with the hair removal you'll rip the plugs, making rehairing fairly impossible. The tail, though, is just a long string of plastic hair doubled over a metal washer, in the old ones, or a plastic bead, in the new ones, and pulled out of a long hole in the pony's ass. All these customs seem to have their original tail, which is by far the easiest part of a pony to replace during the customizing process. By the looks of it, Crystal has the original hair that the pony came with, mane and tail, but if you look at, for instance, Mimmbo Bo Boruto, the tail is very clearly the original nylon hair whereas the mane is what looks like embroidery floss. I can provide some photos on My Little Pony anatomy to show if anyone's really curious. I have a few ripped apart right now for a commission I'm working on. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 16:05, 16 February 2010 (UTC)

==new==
there were to many pictures,it was too cluttered and to many close ups. i am trying to arrenge it. i hope i didnt screwed it up. i havent finished it anyway. also, i wanted to add a new small seccion "in the comic", just to mention the cameo of the pony at the end of sonichu special.
BTW, does anybody remember that quote from the simpsons where lisa says that when she was younger, she wanted to have her pony as bridemaid or somethin?, i wanted to include it, as it is very fittin in the last scene of sonichu special. --[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 05:46, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

==SECOND OPINION PLOX!!!!11111==
[[File:Sexyponies.jpg|thumb]]
this morning i was browsing /b/ and i came across this image.
i wanted to use it to spice up the article and maybe to add some snark with it, and having it instead of one of the others (maybe the one with chris, i came out too bluish), but as Chris hasnt (that we know) sexualized the ponies i may be getting off topic. i dont know Cwcki, wat do?--[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 03:56, 25 May 2010 (UTC)
*Adding such an image would be too distracting for the article and take away from the main point in that Chris is a full grown "man" who plays with toys intended for little girls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 13:20, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-05-27T21:00:27Z

DStecks: /* Gallery/Spoiler Tag? */

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

''I don't know why Sonichu and Rosechu's children haven't Evolved yet. I make sure Sonichu and Rosechu have Good, Straight '''Incest''' with their children on a Regular Basis, which SHOULD raise their Friendship Level significantly! '''Why wouldn't anyone want to have Sex'''?! I don't understand, but hopefully they will Evolve Soon.'' This is from the last letter on [[Mailbag 58]]. Now that's just sick, man. --[[User:OverTheRainbow|OverTheRainbow]] 17:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure if that answer was genuinely from Chris or not, could it have been from when Cwcipedia was vandilized? Or is I being naive?--[[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:18, 7 April 2010
:Indeed, it was from the vandalism. I archived it for great justice. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:58, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

If there is a case to be made that Chris has an incest fixation, someone should go ahead and write it up. I'd do it myself, but I can't really think of any solid evidence beyond Crystal's resemblance to that "Girlfriend's Gift" trading card. I believe you that there's an argument to be made here, Ed, or at least lulz to be generated. What did you have in mind? [[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 11:54, 30 April 2010 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

I'll run off with the current "Chris and Rape" section and make an article on its own. If nobody likes it, feel free to delete it; I'll leave the text on this page intact so that reverting it will be easier. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 23:57, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
*Alrighty, just did this. It's over [[Chris and Rape|here]]. Didn't add it to the template since it's not quite kosher yet. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 00:11, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'll say what I said below: I attempted to make a gallery-view thing but the pic won't display in a gallery. it's weird. If anyone is better with galleries they really should do this. I really don't want to look at that fucking thing, and I'd like to know what's in the article. it seems interesting. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:32, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
*A while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*You can just slap it in the article. (I.E. "At one time, Chris admitted that his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie.")

==Knowledge of Anatomy==
The anatomy of Rosechu shows that Chris knows very little about female anatomy. However since this article is long should it be a new article? Chris and female anatomy or something? --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 22:17, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
:Let's just call it Chris and anatomy, because we can see by his CWCRockin4Way picture that he fails harder at anatomy than Rob Liefeld. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:24, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asexuality ==
This article is supposedly oversized right? So here's an idea: Why not split off Asexuality into its own article? Because Chris has given a lot of his own opinions on asexuality before, maybe we could make that its own article in the same vein of the Homos article and just add that section into it? We could write a whole lot more on asexuality than just a theory that CHris might be it. We could put in stuff about his opinions on it, the problems it caused him with Megan, ect ect. Thoughts? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think we have enough information concerning his opinion about asexuals, so let's do it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
::My Split Off template finally came in useful. I am pleased. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
Just get rid of the retarded arguments for Chris being asexual. Chris is most certainly NOT asexual and anyone who's watched him closely for a short period of time knows that. There's a simple way to shorten up the article. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 02:01, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

==Gallery/Spoiler Tag?==
I agree that this article is too long, and I want to help on it, but I think one of the most important steps is not making everyone look at Chris' duck every time they open the page. It's good that it's in there somewhere, but would it be possible to make it hidden somehow for us STRAIGHT individuals? Feel free to ignore this, probably a shitty idea and I'm probably a pussy for caring, but there's something about dicks that disrupts my flow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 01:39, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:Honestly, I dont' think the gay individuals really want to see Chris's malformed wang any more than we do. Some things are just plain not cool.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:44, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I tried to make this, but the picture just won't display in a gallery. I think the gallery's sentient. If anyone knows how to do this better, it would be appreciated a lot. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:29, 25 May 2010 (UTC)
:::Fixed. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:14, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
::::Very nice! What did you do to make it work? --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 21:00, 27 May 2010 (UTC)

== Mount and do me ==

Should we include some information about how he doesn't realize that this is a receiver's shirt and how he fails to properly understand the joke? To me, he probably saw the shirt at Goodwill and thought "HURR HURR SEX JOKE" and bought it outright not knowing what it actually means. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:14, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-05-25T23:32:56Z

DStecks: /* Chris's penis */

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

''I don't know why Sonichu and Rosechu's children haven't Evolved yet. I make sure Sonichu and Rosechu have Good, Straight '''Incest''' with their children on a Regular Basis, which SHOULD raise their Friendship Level significantly! '''Why wouldn't anyone want to have Sex'''?! I don't understand, but hopefully they will Evolve Soon.'' This is from the last letter on [[Mailbag 58]]. Now that's just sick, man. --[[User:OverTheRainbow|OverTheRainbow]] 17:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure if that answer was genuinely from Chris or not, could it have been from when Cwcipedia was vandilized? Or is I being naive?--[[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:18, 7 April 2010
:Indeed, it was from the vandalism. I archived it for great justice. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:58, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

If there is a case to be made that Chris has an incest fixation, someone should go ahead and write it up. I'd do it myself, but I can't really think of any solid evidence beyond Crystal's resemblance to that "Girlfriend's Gift" trading card. I believe you that there's an argument to be made here, Ed, or at least lulz to be generated. What did you have in mind? [[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 11:54, 30 April 2010 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

I'll run off with the current "Chris and Rape" section and make an article on its own. If nobody likes it, feel free to delete it; I'll leave the text on this page intact so that reverting it will be easier. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 23:57, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
*Alrighty, just did this. It's over [[Chris and Rape|here]]. Didn't add it to the template since it's not quite kosher yet. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 00:11, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'll say what I said below: I attempted to make a gallery-view thing but the pic won't display in a gallery. it's weird. If anyone is better with galleries they really should do this. I really don't want to look at that fucking thing, and I'd like to know what's in the article. it seems interesting. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:32, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
*A while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*You can just slap it in the article. (I.E. "At one time, Chris admitted that his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie.")

==Knowledge of Anatomy==
The anatomy of Rosechu shows that Chris knows very little about female anatomy. However since this article is long should it be a new article? Chris and female anatomy or something? --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 22:17, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
:Let's just call it Chris and anatomy, because we can see by his CWCRockin4Way picture that he fails harder at anatomy than Rob Liefeld. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:24, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asexuality ==
This article is supposedly oversized right? So here's an idea: Why not split off Asexuality into its own article? Because Chris has given a lot of his own opinions on asexuality before, maybe we could make that its own article in the same vein of the Homos article and just add that section into it? We could write a whole lot more on asexuality than just a theory that CHris might be it. We could put in stuff about his opinions on it, the problems it caused him with Megan, ect ect. Thoughts? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think we have enough information concerning his opinion about asexuals, so let's do it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
::My Split Off template finally came in useful. I am pleased. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
Just get rid of the retarded arguments for Chris being asexual. Chris is most certainly NOT asexual and anyone who's watched him closely for a short period of time knows that. There's a simple way to shorten up the article. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 02:01, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

==Gallery/Spoiler Tag?==
I agree that this article is too long, and I want to help on it, but I think one of the most important steps is not making everyone look at Chris' duck every time they open the page. It's good that it's in there somewhere, but would it be possible to make it hidden somehow for us STRAIGHT individuals? Feel free to ignore this, probably a shitty idea and I'm probably a pussy for caring, but there's something about dicks that disrupts my flow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 01:39, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:Honestly, I dont' think the gay individuals really want to see Chris's malformed wang any more than we do. Some things are just plain not cool.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:44, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I tried to make this, but the picture just won't display in a gallery. I think the gallery's sentient. If anyone knows how to do this better, it would be appreciated a lot. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:29, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

== Mount and do me ==

Should we include some information about how he doesn't realize that this is a receiver's shirt and how he fails to properly understand the joke? To me, he probably saw the shirt at Goodwill and thought "HURR HURR SEX JOKE" and bought it outright not knowing what it actually means. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:14, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-05-25T23:32:38Z

DStecks: /* Chris's penis */

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

''I don't know why Sonichu and Rosechu's children haven't Evolved yet. I make sure Sonichu and Rosechu have Good, Straight '''Incest''' with their children on a Regular Basis, which SHOULD raise their Friendship Level significantly! '''Why wouldn't anyone want to have Sex'''?! I don't understand, but hopefully they will Evolve Soon.'' This is from the last letter on [[Mailbag 58]]. Now that's just sick, man. --[[User:OverTheRainbow|OverTheRainbow]] 17:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure if that answer was genuinely from Chris or not, could it have been from when Cwcipedia was vandilized? Or is I being naive?--[[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:18, 7 April 2010
:Indeed, it was from the vandalism. I archived it for great justice. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:58, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

If there is a case to be made that Chris has an incest fixation, someone should go ahead and write it up. I'd do it myself, but I can't really think of any solid evidence beyond Crystal's resemblance to that "Girlfriend's Gift" trading card. I believe you that there's an argument to be made here, Ed, or at least lulz to be generated. What did you have in mind? [[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 11:54, 30 April 2010 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

I'll run off with the current "Chris and Rape" section and make an article on its own. If nobody likes it, feel free to delete it; I'll leave the text on this page intact so that reverting it will be easier. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 23:57, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
*Alrighty, just did this. It's over [[Chris and Rape|here]]. Didn't add it to the template since it's not quite kosher yet. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 00:11, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'll say what I said below: I attempted to make a gallery-view thing but the pic won't display in a gallery. it's weird. If anyone is better with galleries they really should do this. I really don't want to look at that fucking thing, and I'd like to know what's in the article. it seems interesting. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:32, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
*A while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*You can just slap it in the article. (I.E. "At one time, Chris admitted that his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie.")

==Knowledge of Anatomy==
The anatomy of Rosechu shows that Chris knows very little about female anatomy. However since this article is long should it be a new article? Chris and female anatomy or something? --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 22:17, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
:Let's just call it Chris and anatomy, because we can see by his CWCRockin4Way picture that he fails harder at anatomy than Rob Liefeld. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:24, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asexuality ==
This article is supposedly oversized right? So here's an idea: Why not split off Asexuality into its own article? Because Chris has given a lot of his own opinions on asexuality before, maybe we could make that its own article in the same vein of the Homos article and just add that section into it? We could write a whole lot more on asexuality than just a theory that CHris might be it. We could put in stuff about his opinions on it, the problems it caused him with Megan, ect ect. Thoughts? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think we have enough information concerning his opinion about asexuals, so let's do it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
::My Split Off template finally came in useful. I am pleased. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
Just get rid of the retarded arguments for Chris being asexual. Chris is most certainly NOT asexual and anyone who's watched him closely for a short period of time knows that. There's a simple way to shorten up the article. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 02:01, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

==Gallery/Spoiler Tag?==
I agree that this article is too long, and I want to help on it, but I think one of the most important steps is not making everyone look at Chris' duck every time they open the page. It's good that it's in there somewhere, but would it be possible to make it hidden somehow for us STRAIGHT individuals? Feel free to ignore this, probably a shitty idea and I'm probably a pussy for caring, but there's something about dicks that disrupts my flow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 01:39, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:Honestly, I dont' think the gay individuals really want to see Chris's malformed wang any more than we do. Some things are just plain not cool.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:44, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I tried to make this, but the picture just won't display in a gallery. I think the gallery's sentient. If anyone knows how to do this better, it would be appreciated a lot. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:29, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

== Mount and do me ==

Should we include some information about how he doesn't realize that this is a receiver's shirt and how he fails to properly understand the joke? To me, he probably saw the shirt at Goodwill and thought "HURR HURR SEX JOKE" and bought it outright not knowing what it actually means. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:14, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and sex

2010-05-25T23:29:00Z

DStecks: /* Gallery/Spoiler Tag? */

Actually, so far so good, but I'm wondering - should we include Chris's views on women in a separate article (like how they're "so sweet" and such) or should we include it here? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:11, 28 January 2009 (CET)

It could go under "Knowledge of Sex and Gender." It'd only be a paragraph or so.~[[User:gourmetpickle]]

"he didn't understand sex until watch softcore porn on HBO around age 16)" < Fixed it to "he didn't understand sex until he watched softcore porn on HBO around age 16)". Was a glaring error; Though it was understandable to read through. [[User:IJustDontCareAnymore|IJustDontCareAnymore]] 00:13, 18 April 2009 (CEST)

I added the asexuality section to here, I totally forgot about this article when I originally wrote it. -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 09:13, 6 August 2009 (CEST)
:While I don't subscribe to the idea he's asexual, you present a great case for the idea. Personally, I'm of the belief Chris has the mentality of a spoiled 9-year-old who wants to play with his toys and video games 24/7, but who also wants in on the fun parts of being "grown up" without really understanding their implications. [[User:Ensign disposable|Ensign disposable]] 10:06, 8 August 2009 (CEST)

Is that conversation between Chris and Panda about her getting raped recorded somewhere? That is fucking beyond belief and I need to see it. [[User:Bunsteaks|Bunsteaks]] 21:04, 18 August 2009 (CEST)

== Chris and Incest ==

Shouldn't there be a section on this page that displays Chris' thoughts on incest? As I recall, Chris and a troll talked about it back a long time ago in one of the earliest Mumble chats. Let's also not forget what was implied between Sonichu and Rosechu in episode 9 of the audiobooks. What do you think? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 12:39. 29 September 2009

I think your furriness masks your intelligence, kid. Good Idea.--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:51, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

''I don't know why Sonichu and Rosechu's children haven't Evolved yet. I make sure Sonichu and Rosechu have Good, Straight '''Incest''' with their children on a Regular Basis, which SHOULD raise their Friendship Level significantly! '''Why wouldn't anyone want to have Sex'''?! I don't understand, but hopefully they will Evolve Soon.'' This is from the last letter on [[Mailbag 58]]. Now that's just sick, man. --[[User:OverTheRainbow|OverTheRainbow]] 17:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure if that answer was genuinely from Chris or not, could it have been from when Cwcipedia was vandilized? Or is I being naive?--[[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:18, 7 April 2010
:Indeed, it was from the vandalism. I archived it for great justice. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:58, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

If there is a case to be made that Chris has an incest fixation, someone should go ahead and write it up. I'd do it myself, but I can't really think of any solid evidence beyond Crystal's resemblance to that "Girlfriend's Gift" trading card. I believe you that there's an argument to be made here, Ed, or at least lulz to be generated. What did you have in mind? [[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 11:54, 30 April 2010 (CEST)

==Rape split==
Given the stuff about Panda particularly and the fact that rape is a frequent thing when it comes to Chris, anyone think that perhaps the rape section could be split off into its own article? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:01, 3 October 2009 (CEST)
* Sounds like a good idea to me. A ''lot'' could be written about that subject.

It'll probably be the creepiest article on this site, though. *shudder* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 08:11, 3 October 2009 (CEST)

I'll run off with the current "Chris and Rape" section and make an article on its own. If nobody likes it, feel free to delete it; I'll leave the text on this page intact so that reverting it will be easier. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 23:57, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
*Alrighty, just did this. It's over [[Chris and Rape|here]]. Didn't add it to the template since it's not quite kosher yet. [[User:Lord Snotfolus|Lord Snotfolus]] 00:11, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

==Prostitution quote==
Where did the quote from the prostitution thing come from? that seems like a conversation or e-mail worth reading.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:44, 24 November 2009 (CET)

==Chris's penis==
Could someone find a pic of a seven inch erect penis in flaccid state, to compare to Chris's flaccid penis? The one from the shower vid definitely can't be seven inches, because it's about the same size as mine and I'm sure as hell not seven inches. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:58, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Turgid size doesn't always correlate perfectly with flaccid size. [[User:Kajillion|Kajillion]] 06:26, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Another point; Chris's obesity is not helping his manhood's size. The layers of fat around the base of his penis might artificially shrinks it. Besides, I wonder why we are talking about this. Chris got the habit to make false claims. In fact, I took the time to download and watch his "Mass-Debate" videos and I refuse to believe that his unit measure seven inches. He might make the number by adding his scrotum but I bet he's not longer than five. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:44, 17 December 2009 (CET)

Speaking of which, would it be possible to move that lower in the page, maybe put it under a spoiler tag? I and maybe a few others would rather not be scarred for life any further by it showing up the first second we glance our eyes onto the page. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:26, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
* A sign warning you of really nasty shit like this would be okay, too. --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 22:28, 9 January 2010 (UTC)

==Coping Methods==
Would anyone happen to exactly know how Chris's coping methods are unhealthy? I kind of know about the sex change, but what about his other methods? --[[User:CWCAttack|CWCAttack]] 21:10, 14 March 2009 (GMT)

*They're explained pretty well here. He wants to, at least mentally, punish himself for having homoerotic thoughts. He wants to ban gay people from reality so that he never has to have those thoughts again. He's so convinced, for whatever reason, that homosexuality is just plain wrong, that he can't even allow himself to have these thoughts, let alone accept them. It's no healthier than reparative therapy is. also why does your sig say it's March? --[[User:Sonichuis44|sonichuis44]] 05:25, 9 December 2009 (CET)
**This goes beyond homosexuality. Chris is taking great length to not mention anything remotely sexualized. His use of the terms "Pickle", "China" "Mass Debating" and "Hanky-Panky" instead of the proper terms for genitals, masturbation and sexual relations shows us what kind of cluster-fuck Chris's psyche really is. He's still in the stage where using or not using a "Magical Mantra" can give you free stuff and avoid taking responsibilities. Quite immature but oh-so autistic if you ask me. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:07, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Common Questions==
*A while back Chris said his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie. I was hoping he would have a weirder taste, but is there any way we can use this information? [[User:V3N0M1300|V3N0M1300]] 08:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*You can just slap it in the article. (I.E. "At one time, Chris admitted that his favorite porn actresses were Jenna Jameson, Carmen Luvana, and Daisy Marie.")

==Knowledge of Anatomy==
The anatomy of Rosechu shows that Chris knows very little about female anatomy. However since this article is long should it be a new article? Chris and female anatomy or something? --[[User:Fearfulsymmetry|Fearfulsymmetry]] 22:17, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
:Let's just call it Chris and anatomy, because we can see by his CWCRockin4Way picture that he fails harder at anatomy than Rob Liefeld. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:24, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

== Asexuality ==
This article is supposedly oversized right? So here's an idea: Why not split off Asexuality into its own article? Because Chris has given a lot of his own opinions on asexuality before, maybe we could make that its own article in the same vein of the Homos article and just add that section into it? We could write a whole lot more on asexuality than just a theory that CHris might be it. We could put in stuff about his opinions on it, the problems it caused him with Megan, ect ect. Thoughts? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:53, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think we have enough information concerning his opinion about asexuals, so let's do it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
::My Split Off template finally came in useful. I am pleased. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:26, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
Just get rid of the retarded arguments for Chris being asexual. Chris is most certainly NOT asexual and anyone who's watched him closely for a short period of time knows that. There's a simple way to shorten up the article. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 02:01, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

==Gallery/Spoiler Tag?==
I agree that this article is too long, and I want to help on it, but I think one of the most important steps is not making everyone look at Chris' duck every time they open the page. It's good that it's in there somewhere, but would it be possible to make it hidden somehow for us STRAIGHT individuals? Feel free to ignore this, probably a shitty idea and I'm probably a pussy for caring, but there's something about dicks that disrupts my flow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 01:39, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:Honestly, I dont' think the gay individuals really want to see Chris's malformed wang any more than we do. Some things are just plain not cool.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:44, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I tried to make this, but the picture just won't display in a gallery. I think the gallery's sentient. If anyone knows how to do this better, it would be appreciated a lot. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 23:29, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

== Mount and do me ==

Should we include some information about how he doesn't realize that this is a receiver's shirt and how he fails to properly understand the joke? To me, he probably saw the shirt at Goodwill and thought "HURR HURR SEX JOKE" and bought it outright not knowing what it actually means. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:14, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris and sex

2010-05-25T23:20:54Z

DStecks: Undo revision 92536 by DStecks (Talk) I fucked up the image. time to start from scratch.

{{Honest}}

{{Oversized}}

{{Split Off}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from Sailor Moon.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart, Chris reveals that he has never kissed a girl. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. His views on women are inadvertently supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

Recently, Chris has taken to using the word asexual as an insult. In his cwcipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should[[Jackie e-mails Part 3| not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people as worse as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]] has been used in his comics to represent incestuous fantasies Chris has had before. Although this flies miles above his head, he [[Fail|fails to notice the incestuous implications of Sonichu & Rosechu's relationship, as Chris credits himself as their father]].

==Rape==
{{main|Chris and rape}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and sex

2010-05-25T23:15:30Z

DStecks: Made it so that people only have to look at chris's duck if they want to.

{{Honest}}

{{Oversized}}

{{Split Off}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
{{collapsible
|A picture of Chris-chan's [[duck]]. You ''really'' don't want to see it.
|<gallery>
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|Seven inches? Yeah, right.

</gallery>}}

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from Sailor Moon.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart, Chris reveals that he has never kissed a girl. He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. His views on women are inadvertently supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

Recently, Chris has taken to using the word asexual as an insult. In his cwcipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should[[Jackie e-mails Part 3| not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people as worse as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]] has been used in his comics to represent incestuous fantasies Chris has had before. Although this flies miles above his head, he [[Fail|fails to notice the incestuous implications of Sonichu & Rosechu's relationship, as Chris credits himself as their father]].

==Rape==
{{main|Chris and rape}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]