CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu

2014-11-06T03:52:15Z

DX10: /* Others */

[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Yeah, doc, how dare you [[Chris and hypocrisy|use other people's characters without their permission]]?]]
One of the hallmarks of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' series is its frequent use of guest appearances by fictional characters from other properties. The following is a list of these characters.

Note that this list is '''not''' intended to include any of the following:

* Characters based upon real-life people, such as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[B-Manajerk]].
* Characters created by people other than Chris but basically intended for the comic, like [[Megagi]] and [[Jiggliami]].
* Fan characters and parodies that Chris has chosen to acknowledge, like [[Simonchu]] and [[Asperchu]].
* Thinly-veiled ripoffs of existing characters, like [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Simonla]], [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]... well, you get the idea.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Sonic the Hedgehog franchise==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

SEGA mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped.

Sonic also appears on the cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and may return for the '10 year anniversary', if Chris ever gets round to writing any more comics.

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|"I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!"]]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a twelve-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', where she singlehandedly defeated the [[Wikipedia:List of Sonic the Hedgehog video game characters#E-100 Alpha (ZERO)|Zero robot]] and in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|Sonic Adventure 2]]'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] where she talks with [[Rosechu]] at [[CWCville Mall]] about meaningless bullshit.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}
[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|right|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, Dr. Eggman has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers: Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help [[Giovanni]] devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the [[PVCC]]. Why he would do any of these things, or have a grudge against Chris in the first place, is never addressed.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable [[Wikipedia:E-Series_Robots#E-100_Series|E-Series robots]], as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course [[Wikipedia:Metal Sonic|Metal Sonic]]. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite (as seen in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]'') that could easily destroy the entire planet. However, none of these resources whatseoever are employed against Chris at any point, Robotnik instead relying on catching [[Pokemon]] and allying with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (again, for no apparent reason).

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of [[Blake]]. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]' solo album.

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.

[[File:MightyAndTiara.jpg|thumb|right|Chris has a penchant for characters that no one has heard of.]]

===Tiara Boobowski===

Even more obscure is Tiara. Originally created as a playable character, but later mitigated as an NPC and love interest for Sonic, in the canceled [[Wikipedia:Sonic X-treme|''Sonic X-Treme'']] game for the Sega Genesis, bumped to the Sega 32X, and finally the Sega Saturn before being scrapped outright. She appears alongside Mighty the Armadillo while Chris fantasizes about inserting Sonic characters in R.L Stine novels. He would mention this after lamenting the cancellation in the first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC chat]].

Nearly two years later, Chris created her in [[ModNation Racers]]. It should be noted that Tiara was drawn with orange fur and brown hair in the ''Sonic X-Treme'' concept art, yet Chris depicts her all-pink like [[Amy Rose]].

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes '''Perfect Chaos''', a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

==Pokémon==

:''See [[Pokémon#Pokémon characters appearing in Sonichu comics]]''

==''Gilligan's Island''==

[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]
In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the élitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

==[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]==

For no obvious reason, William Spicer is depicted in [[Sonichu 5]] as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character Jack's Knight. His role is extremely limited, as Chris foresees him being brutally murdered by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and rushes to avert this tragedy. Jack's Knight proves to be a lumbering moron, unable to save his bride [[Sarah Hammer]] from Wes-Li or do much of anything but wait for Chris to defeat the villain.

==Others==

* A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier. It's also staggeringly ironic how Chris pouts over infringement of his (non-existent) copyright via use of ''another copyrighted character.''
* The Skelevision and the Ghost Buggy are borrowed from [[Ghostbusters|Filmation's Ghostbusters]] cartoon for the infamous "[[Family Guy]] skitch" in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. Ghost Buggy in particular has secured his place in Sonichu lore.
* In a nod to the ''[[Futurama]]: Bender's Big Score'' DVD, Bender is seen careening through the [[time void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].
* [[Beavis and Butt-head]] make a brief cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].
* From [[Transformers]], both [[Optimus Prime]] and [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] have appeared in the comics to callously murder innocents.
* Sackboy from ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' pops up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to warn readers not to bootleg his game.
* In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris alludes to his discovery that [[Blanca]] was a [[troll]] by depicting her true form as the titular Troll from the [[Wikipedia:Troll_(film)|1986 movie]].
* After Chris and Ivy's wedding in [[Sonichu Special 1]], a [[My Little Pony]] is used to draw their carriage.
* [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] seemingly appears in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to fulfill a romantic fantasy of Chris's--that is, his fantasy to kiss [[Silvana|a hedgehog with a penis]].

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Lists]][[Category: Characters]][[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

Talk:Obesity

2014-11-03T10:02:56Z

DX10: /* The "Mcdonalds Diet" article link */ new section

==To do==
Add Chris's comments about weight ("about 200 pounds"), his exercise (Guitar Hero, standing up), Chris being defensive about his weight (in IRC, he got really defense and in an e-mail with Evan [I think] he's like "I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!!") and so forth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:20, 31 May 2009 (CEST)
*I added a lot of stuff, but I suck with editing wiki format so a lot of things don't have links. I fsomeone wants to help out, go for it.--[[User:Howsyourham|Howsyourham]] 17:01, 19 July 2009 (CEST)
*Now that the Chris and Health article is up, I propose that we merge this and that article together, seing as this falls under health.
:*I'm tempted to do that, though I'm leaning towards calling this "Chris and his weight" since that's a pretty indepth topic himself that comes up a lot (that is, "Chris is fat lol"). Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:35, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
::*It's definitely an important topic, seeing as how it has not only been brought up so many times, but how adamantly Chris has reacted to it. It's beyond just not bathing regularly, this is a real part of his mindset and I think it warrants it's own page. Why don't we just move the two sections from [[Chris and Health|Health]] and add them to this page, then include a link? We already are talking about exercise, I don't think nutrition would be that much of a leap. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 16:48, 3 September 2009 (CEST)
:::*When I made this article I made it because there seems to be a lot of fat people in Chris' life, including himself. But then again this is quite common in the US. So I support it being moved to "Chris and Obesity" or "Chris and His Weight", but not merged with the Health article.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 23:20, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
:: merge this bitch--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 18:39, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

==Rename==
I'm thinking about renaming this "Chris's weight." Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:17, 28 October 2009 (CET)
*If we're going for a more objective title, that would be better. Obesity should still re-direct to it, though; if for no other reason than that this particular page is linked to extensively and trying to find them all would be a bitch. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 01:24, 28 October 2009 (CET)
**How about renaming it "Buddha Belly" considering that's his CWC-ism for his obesity. --[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 00:36, 15 November 2009 (CET)
***Honestly, I think pretty much all of this could be added to [[Chris and Health]]. Maybe we could label that section Buddha belly, or at least mention that on the page or something?--[[User:That Man|That Man]] 19:37, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Merge ==

There's a lot of good stuff here, but it overlaps with [[Chris and Health]]. Could it be condensed into a subsection of his weight and diet?--[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 08:19, 5 December 2009 (CET)
*I agree with this. The "Chris and..." series is a much better place for this and some other overlapping articles. I vote we merge.--[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 23:47, 7 December 2009 (CET)
*I also agree with the merge. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:03, 13 December 2009 (CET)
*Same. [[User:Shiny Marshtomp|Shiny]] 20:04, 13 December 2009 (CET)
*I agree! It'd make a lot more sense IMHO. --[[User:Morganna|Morganna]] 17:24, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Yeah I agree, but we have to becareful not to Fuck up the Health article. But there IS a large ammount of good info on here.--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:14, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*I don't know. His obesity has been playing a lot into his life lately, from Kacey's father calling him fat to which he's embarrassed to admit it and uses a euphemism to try and not outright refer to himself as fat, to denying it and claiming he used to be fat (i.e. Sammy and addressing Asperchu).--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 23:54, 29 January 2010 (UTC)
*To me it seems that a lot of the actual health related aspects could be added to Chris and Health in a merge, but I also agree with the above comment in the rename section regarding the CWCism 'Buddha belly' I say we do a bit of both of those. We'll have a section for his obesity in Chris and Health and another seperate page for the CWCism Buddha belly. Kind of like how there are articles for 'Chris and Race' alongside the page for the CWCism 'Niggos' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:01, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
*I say let this stand, but maybe trim some of the fat (heh heh) from Chris and health — anything on that page should just be a summary of the concepts that are covered in more detail here. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 23:21, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
* I say we merge this bitch--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:42, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
* I vote for placing an overview of his obesity, particularly the health ramifications, on the Health page, with a link to Obesity. So I second (or rather third) Apostrophe and Edward--[[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:33, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
* I agree wholly to merge this sucker, that way, everything about Obesity can be covered in Chris and Health, and his excuses not to exercise as well. --[[User:UJ1A1985|UJ1A1985]] 03:54, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* I like having this separate. Chris and health is massive as it is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* I'm also going agree with everyone on having them separate. If his [[hair]] gets it's own article despite not being as major of a subject as his obesity then I don't see why this should be merged.--[[User:Goatselover|Goatselover]] 15:31, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

==Way to determine his weight==

Why not ask him his waist size? I mean he's probably too stupid to realize that its meant to get his actual weight. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
*Because he might not know, or might measure inaccurately? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 16:57, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
** He'll most likely lie and say that he's a size 4 or something. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:58, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
*** You really think we can't lead him on?[[User:Shawths|Shawths]]
***We could tell him that a number in a certain range (one likely to be close to his size) is the sign of a strong, healthy man. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:16, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Brilliant. We could tell him that the sign of a healthy man is a waistline between 40 and 50. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:21, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
* For what it's worth, as someone who is a little chubbier than Chris (yes, I know that makes me a fatass), I think I can supply a decent estimate. I'd put him at around 250lb, plus or minus 10. [[User:PsychoticPuggle|PsychoticPuggle]] 12:39, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
==Mention how he inspires us all==
Man it is sad that the person who convinced me i should work harder at losing weight was because he was such a repugnant human being that he gave fat people a bad name. Seriously they should make documentaries about his life to convince kids that obesity is bad it is much more effective than the current shit they do.

==Gynomastia==

Discussion of Chris's gynomastia has no place on this page for at least a couple of reasons. Gynomastia is a specific medical condition wherein a male develops mammary tissue. Pseudogynomastia is when a guy is really fat and his fatness looks kind of like titties. These are distinct because breast tissue isn't adipose tissue--isn't fat. Aereolas aren't breast tissue either. The first reason is that Chris doesn't have gynomastia--he has pseudogynomastia; he's just fat. The second is that gynomastia also has nothing directly to do with obesity, so even if he did have it, discussion of it should go in [[Chris and Health]]. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 10:34, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
*Obesity and Gynecomastia are linked in the respect that excess fat triggers the production of estrogen. [[User:Sheex|Sheex]] 12:03, 2 October 2010 (PDT)
** easy fix is to leave it in and use the word '''pseudo''' [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 06:34, 27 January 2012 (PST)

== The "Mcdonalds Diet" article link ==

Can I vote for a removal of this? It might be medically or scientifically sound but IMO in the context of the article it seems like utter bollocks and doesn't really serve any purpose, considering that the next lines contradict it anyway. Not only that, but this is ignoring the fact that the person on the McDonald's diet probably didn't sit around all day like Chris. It's just wanky and pointless. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 10:02, 3 November 2014 (UTC)

User talk:DX10

2014-10-23T17:35:32Z

DX10: /* Log #1 */ new section

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Alan Pardew|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

[[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] ([[User talk:Alan Pardew|talk]]) 18:44, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

== Log #1 ==

This is to explain my actions as a declaration of intent so no ill will is taken if I've made a mistake.

I spent about an hour or so clearing up articles that needed citation. Where I didn't clear up was either where the information was too sensitive or possibly-valuable for me to expunge despite not having a source, or information that I couldn't verify as being false (IE Christorians might have insight where I may not). Other places I 'missed' were where the cite tag was used for comedic effect. I decided that this was the best course of action where performed because I didn't want to piss anyone off.

Where I've expunged things I've tried to add clarifying information or at least neaten the area up around it so it's not evident that someone's taken a scalpel to it. I'm going to work on other priority listings relatively soon provided I haven't fatally fucked up today. Please feel free to leave me messages or kick me in the floppy drive if I've made a mistake in protocol here. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 17:35, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Rocky Shoemaker

2014-10-23T17:29:36Z

DX10: Couldn't find citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Sorry if there is one that I missed, but I couldn't see one.

{{quote|Rocky offers me advice for most general things for counsoling [sic]. I can't say all of the things she has helped me with off of the top of my head, aside from the recent thinking of myself as [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]|Chris explains how Rocky helps him<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 22]]</ref>}}

{{Quote|She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.|[[Ivy]]'s view<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}

[[File:Rockypicture.JPG|thumb|Rocky Shoemaker]]

'''Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker''' is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

==Biography==
On 11 September 2008, after [[nudes]] of his were leaked to the internet by a [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|troll who deceived him]], Chris sent to his Reverend Elizabeth Foss an email in which he told her about his foolish acts and asked her to forgive him. Five days later Elizabeth replied and referred Chris to the church's new pastoral counselor, Rocky Shoemaker,<ref>[[Chris emails 2008#September]]</ref> and so began her role in Chris's life.

In the year of Our Lord [[2009]], she brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Saga, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.<ref name="IvyEnd" />

The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a [[PSP]]. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops. The agreement was that the cops would only be involved in the Joshua matters, as they were dealing with the trolls on their own terms. However, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb and brought up Ivy and the trolls with the cops. She even had them try to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing. <ref name="IvyEnd">[[Ivy Q&A#The_end]]</ref>

In a [[IRC (23 July 2009)|July 2009 IRC Chat]] Chris, believing that he had entered the chat incognito (although the trolls had in fact instantly seen through his false identity), suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. Rocky herself is aware that Chris said this. The fact that she did not kick him out of the church on the spot speaks volumes about her sanity.


==The ultimate white knight?==
Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]]. Rocky recommended to Chris the children's book ''[[How to Talk to Girls]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his [[Love Quest|lust]], [[Obesity|gluttony]], [[List of Chris's games|avarice]], [[Monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and anger|wrath]], [[Wes Iseli|envy]] and [[Chris and his Ego|pride]]. Clearly she hasn't been able to stop Chris from sending nudes of himself online (the reason why he was referred to her in the first place) as his privates were seen by the internet five different times after Chris started receiving counseling from Rocky.<ref>For the relevant examples see [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], [[April 16 Fetish Vids]], [[CWCFlyingElephants]], [[Cwcsicle]] and [[Cakefarts]].</ref>

One can usually spot her hand in affairs if Chris begins to display common sense. It is generally believed that she was behind Chris's attempt to quit the internet forever on 21 March 2010, as the video was made on a Sunday. Chris likely meets with her on Thursdays and Sundays, as he suddenly developed basic pattern recognition skills long enough to catch one troll on 29 April and smoke out [[Sydney Contacts|another]] on 1 May (though he may have simply gotten both mixed up with [[Jackie]]).

In the past, Chris has insisted that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist,<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> and seemed to uncritically accept whatever she said. Later on however, Chris came to conclude that she was an ineffective counselor, as evidenced in [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|his letter to his church]]. In a demonstration of pure insolence, Chris did not forward the letter on his own but sent it to Rocky via iPhone, asking her to print copies of it and spread it in among Wesley Memorial's parishioners.

The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>

==Interaction with trolls==

[[File:Rocky.png|thumb|Rocky Shoemaker in her younger days]]

In a monumental display of ill-judgment, Rocky provided a great deal of information about Chris's home life to a troll posing as a court-appointed psychiatrist during [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] in the run-up to his scheduled [[28 October 2011|court appearance]] in [[December 2011]]. During this call it was revealed that [[Bob Chandler]] had been quarantined for bug bites shortly before his death, and that [[14 Branchland Court]] is so badly infested that Chris is forced to stay in [[Chris's room|his room]] to avoid being bitten himself.

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Shoemaker, Rocky}}
[[Category:People]]

Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud

2014-10-23T17:23:27Z

DX10:

[[Image:Meatwad_display.png|thumb|200px|The [[gitar]] as it appears in the cartoon...]]

'''Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud''' [''sic''] is a 17 [[October 2009]] video wherein [[Chris]] butchers [[Wikipedia:Bob Seger|Bob Seger's]] "[[Wikipedia:Old Time Rock and Roll|Old Time Rock and Roll]]" on his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' game on a large flatscreen TV, both definitely paid with his [[monthly tugboat]].

Chris's guitar is a crappy duplicate of [[Wikipedia:Meatwad|Meatwad]]'s guitar featured in ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.
An episode of ''ATHF'' had the character Meatwad playing with a toy guitar. The toy was deliberately cheap and shitty looking in the series, which really says something about Chris's art ability since his duplicate of it is just shitty beyond words.

{{Clear}}
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Old Time Rock and Rock on Shredwud
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T6gsT-YiNzg}}
| stardate = 17 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
{{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_15th,_2009#Video| 15 October 2009]]
| next = [[Brutal Legend]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|200px|...and Chris's version.]]
''[muffled]'' Okay.

[''Chris begins to play "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger on an expensive flat screen HDTV, paid for with a large amount of [[tugboat]], with a [[Gitar of Fail]]. Upon completion, he picks up the camera.'']

''Note: He doesn't show his score. Maybe he isn't satisfied with his score. Maybe he is doing his video to give his true loyal fans the amazing show they deserve. Maybe it's just his way of showing the world his new stuff. One thing is sure, Chris is definitely being [[autistic]] in this video.''

==Previous appearance of band members==
The band members playing with Chris in his virtual band resemble the three women he drew having [[sex]] with him in [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] a week prior.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009]]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[15 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Brutal Legend]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-17]]

Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud

2014-10-23T17:23:06Z

DX10: You know, it's crazy, I can't find references to this outside CWC-related stuff, even on the ATHF wiki. For the sake of safety, I'm going to remove this reference because it seems to be scarily apocryphal.

[[Image:Meatwad_display.png|thumb|200px|The [[gitar]] as it appears in the cartoon...]]

'''Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud''' [''sic''] is a 17 [[October 2009]] video wherein [[Chris]] butchers [[Wikipedia:Bob Seger|Bob Seger's]] "[[Wikipedia:Old Time Rock and Roll|Old Time Rock and Roll]]" on his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' game on a large flatscreen TV, both definitely paid with his [[monthly tugboat]].

Chris's guitar is a crappy duplicate of [[Wikipedia:Meatwad|Meatwad]]'s Shredwad, his custom guitar featured in ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''.
An episode of ''ATHF'' had the character Meatwad playing with a toy guitar. The toy was deliberately cheap and shitty looking in the series, which really says something about Chris's art ability since his duplicate of it is just shitty beyond words.

{{Clear}}
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Old Time Rock and Rock on Shredwud
| video = {{#ev:youtube|T6gsT-YiNzg}}
| stardate = 17 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
{{Music|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_15th,_2009#Video| 15 October 2009]]
| next = [[Brutal Legend]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|200px|...and Chris's version.]]
''[muffled]'' Okay.

[''Chris begins to play "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger on an expensive flat screen HDTV, paid for with a large amount of [[tugboat]], with a [[Gitar of Fail]]. Upon completion, he picks up the camera.'']

''Note: He doesn't show his score. Maybe he isn't satisfied with his score. Maybe he is doing his video to give his true loyal fans the amazing show they deserve. Maybe it's just his way of showing the world his new stuff. One thing is sure, Chris is definitely being [[autistic]] in this video.''

==Previous appearance of band members==
The band members playing with Chris in his virtual band resemble the three women he drew having [[sex]] with him in [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]] a week prior.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009]]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[15 October 2009]]|nextlink=[[Brutal Legend]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-17]]

The Moon

2014-10-23T17:16:35Z

DX10: Couldn't find citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Sorry if there is one that I missed, but I couldn't see one.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Moon.jpg|thumb|'''THE MOTHERFUCKING MOON''' IRL...]]

'''The Moon''' (''Luna''; Σελήνη ''Selene'') is Earth's only natural satellite. It is also the only entity within Earth's orbit that is of comparable size to [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]. It plays an important role in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' universe]], both as a backdrop and as an actual part of the plot. While the Moon is generally considered an object of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU9SNOvLW6E beauty and mystery], Chris sees it as nothing more than a potential garbage dump or prison camp to send all of the world's "undesirables" to, chiefly [[tobacky]] and [[Count Graduon|evil dudes]].

==Chris and the Moon==
[[Image:Damoon.jpg|thumb|...and in the comic.]]

Although he has softened his stance regarding [[alcohol]], Chris remains firmly opposed to [[tobacky]]. The Moon is where he believes a rocket containing every last scrap of the offending plant should be shot; not the Sun though, because of the tortuous reasoning he cobbled together in an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from [[January 2009]].

{{quote|[[Honor roll|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well]].|Chris, giving up any right to insult a troll's intelligence ever again.}}

==In the comics==
[[Image:Themfingmoon.jpg|thumb|left|This is what probably what inspired Chris's [[creepy stare]].]]

The Moon first appeared in ''[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]'', where [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] both professed their love for each other while gazing upon it.

In ''[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]'', the generic, throw-away villain [[Metal Sonichu]] was defeated and tossed into the Moon by [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu. He is shown to survive the crash, but this [[Chris and writing|never amounts to anything]].

In ''[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]'', magical moonbeams turn Chris's dog [[Patti-chan]] into a sentient being capable of human speech for some reason.

In ''[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]'', it is explained that [[Silvana Rosechu]] was born and raised on the Moon by [[Count Graduon]], who also [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris_draws_Rosechu_with_a_dick|gave her a penis for no real reason]]. She was quoted in an interview in an old issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' as saying that the Moon was "very lonely" and that there are "no friends on the Moon".

''[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]'' indicates that the [[CWCville]] authorities launch regular Moon-shot operations in partnership with NASA to do away with any contraband. Vacationers on the Moon may therefore be guaranteed a regular supply of free marijuana, tobacky, and other delightful mind-altering substances.

Before putting his comics on hiatus, Chris announced on the [[CWC Blog]] that he planned to toss [[Count Graduon]] into the Moon, where Graduon would possess [[Metal Sonichu]] and become a key villain in the events of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and beyond. Count Graduon (or at least his primary vessel) was destroyed by Chris snapping his staff in half in the previous issue, so it's not entirely clear how that would have worked.

==In his high school essays==
While in high school, Chris opined that his favorite modern president was John F. Kennedy because of his foresight regarding lunar exploration. "It was obvious," Chris wrote, "to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it." <ref>[[Manchester High Leaks#Best_President_Essay]]</ref>

== References by [[trolls]] ==
[[Image:CWCass.JPG|thumb|100 px|Chris [[Nudes|"mooning"]] the troll]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, [[Sean August Watley]] also ran a comic on Asperpedia named ''[[Moon-Pals]]'', centered around the drug induced adventures of all the forgotten [[List of Sonichu characters|''Sonichu'' characters]] living on the moon with Metal Sonichu.

==See also==
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Patti-Chan]]
*[[Silvana|Silvana Rosechu]]
*[[Metal Sonichu]]
*[[Tobacky]]

==References==
<references/>

{{CWCverse}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Moon}}
[[Category:Places]]

Monthly tugboat

2014-10-23T17:14:53Z

DX10: Citation for this is both common/worldly sense and also the wikipedia article describing SSDI above. Also, considering the (at least relatively) meager amount SSDI provides, it's obviously not meant to be primary income.

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as much as possible, the need for its own existence.|[[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Ronald Reagan]], who is likely turning in his grave right now.}}
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink]]. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat}}
[[Image:CWC eugenics.png|thumb|300px|$2000+ a day is what [[Christian Weston Chandler|this person]] suffering from [[autism|hereditary defects]] costs the [[United States of America|People's Community]] during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too.]]
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support [[Slow-in-the-minds|disabled individuals]] whose [[Autism|injuries or ailments]] affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own. Chris, with [[Chris and his Ego|his massive sense of entitlement]], chooses not to work and mooches off his mother instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.

In 2010, Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[McDonald's|junk food]], or [[sex toys|other frivolous purchases]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) was (and is) nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had less than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.

After [[Bob|his father]]'s death in September 2011, Chris's tugboat increased, and as of 2014, Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in welfare money.

===Chris's Economic Logic===

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of it on video games. The problem is his game systems ([[PSP|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]]), come from Japanese companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[Hexbox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.

===Earning Potential===

On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his dead father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total failure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's]] [[Transformers|toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he kept unleashing Chris to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.

===Total Cost to Taxpayers===

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.

Since Bob's death, it's not known how much of Chris's tugboat goes to his mother to spend on <s>boxes of useless clutter</s> necessary items, but given that they asked for cash donations in Bob's obituary, she probably has to take most of it.

==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Adam_Stackhouse_wins.2C_Chris_is_a_horrible_cheater_and_likes_Megan_.22so_much.22|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
*In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

{{quotebox|
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
}}

{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

The Simpsons

2014-10-23T17:08:10Z

DX10: Couldn't find citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Sorry if there is one that I missed, but I couldn't see one.

[[Image:DorkyExpression.jpg|thumb|Chris rips off Homer's catchphrase.]]

'''''The Simpsons''''' is a [[1989]]-present cartoon about an [[Bob Chandler|extremely]] [[Barbara Chandler|dysfunctional]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|family]], their daily life, and their various wacky adventures. In its early years, the show was considered one of the greatest TV shows of all time, but over the years the quality has degenerated, with ridiculous storylines and token celebrity appearances now the order of the day. Of course, like all mediocre cartoons, [[Chris]] loves it, although not as much as he loves its sub-par rip-off, ''[[Family Guy]]''. It goes without saying that the cutting [[parody|satire]] that has characterized the show (at least in its golden years) goes over Chris's head.

==The show and Chris==

[[File:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|They would later have their own [[Bob Walks In|family bonding]]...]]

Chris has ripped off or referenced the Simpsons many times in his life. Specifically:

*In the [[You_know_what,_I_HATE_ME_TOO!!!|gallery of fail]] Chris added to his own [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|Encyclopedia Dramatica article]] in March 2008, Chris tried to show some humility by having himself rip off Homer's catchphrase, seen right.
*Chris video'd himself [[What%27s_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|singing his own version of the Mr. Plow remix]] that featured in a recent ''The Simpsons'' 20th anniversary special.
*Chris has a Homer Simpson figurine on the dash of [[Son-Chu|his car]].
*In the [[Secret Weapon]] video, at times Chris laughs like [[Wikipedia:Nelson Muntz|Nelson Muntz]], a character of the series known for his signature "Ha, ha!" laugh.
*Chris also seems to have lifted the idea of a second Valentine's Day called "[[Christian_Love_Day#Christian_Love_Day|Love Day]]" from the episode "[[wikipedia:Trash_of_the_Titans|Trash of the Titans]]." Of course, Chris missed the point that the holiday was an artificial one born out of [[Ego#Materialism|greed and selfishness]] rather than love, and also that the very people who created it thought it sounded stupid when they said the name should be, "like 'Love Day,' only not so lame."
*Many trolls have also noticed [[Sandy Rosechu]]'s similarities to [[Wikipedia:Lisa Simpson|Lisa Simpson]], as both have spiky hair and are said to be child prodigies. The difference is that Lisa isn't a bastard child born from an egg, and she has a personality.
*In the [[Common_Questions#28_December_2009|Common Questions]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris was called out on blatantly stealing jokes from many other shows. Chris justified himself by saying that "''Like [[Family Guy]], Simpsons, [[Excel Saga]], and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons]] [[South_Park|Did It]]."''"
*In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], erotic artwork of Marge Simpson can be seen on the 63rd floor.
*In [[Mumble 4]], Chris compared his life to Homer Simpson while arguing with Clyde Cash (and doing an impersonation of Homer).
*Chris downloaded ''[[wikipedia:The_Simpsons_Game|The Simpsons Game]]'' on the [[List_of_Chris's_games|PS3]].
*In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris "created" Constable Lou who may be connected to [[Wikipedia:List of recurring The Simpsons characters#Eddie and Lou|Lou]].
*In the [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors#cite_ref-0s|Chris dispels videogame rumors]] video, Chris stole a joke from [[Wikipedia#Sideshow Bob|Sideshow Bob]], butchered it horribly, and referenced it so far out of context that it made no sense to almost anybody.
*In the [[Jackie]] saga, Chris decided to [[100 2277|cosplay Homer Simpson wearing Fred Flintstone's shirt]].
*Chris's affinity for [[muscle bra]]s could be attributed to a bit in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Days of Wine and D'oh'ses|Days of Wine and D'oh'ses]]" in which Homer finds one in a dumpster and comments "All I know is that, finally, I am getting the support I need."

==Vocal impressions==
In [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3.5|BlueSpike's PSN Chat v3.5]], Chris attempts (very poorly) some impressions of various Simpsons characters (specifically Mr Burns, Homer, Marge and Maggie). He would do the same in [[Mumble 7]], impersonating Homer and Bender; in an eerie bit of foreshadowing, Chris's Homer and Bender voices [[BlueSpike|sound exactly the same]] but Chris doesn't notice.

==Marge poster==
[[Image:MargePoster.jpg|thumb|right|MARJAAAAAAAAAY!]]

Recently, it seems that the centerfold poster of [http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playboy-photos-revealed/ Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a [[homos#Defenses against becoming homo|homo]].

Interestingly enough, there were two potential choices for him to pin on his wall; the first was a coy, innocent picture of Marge undressing (breasts visible but nipples concealed), the shadow of an eager Homer projected onto the rear wall, with Marge making eye contact with her husband.

The second was of Marge wearing a see-through dress, looking directly at the camera and offering donuts to the viewer. Chris, ever classy, picked the one that has the most visible [[Plush Breasts|breasts]] and rejected the one that even had the shadow of a [[JERKS|man]] on it (especially since Marge was looking at Homer, and not [[Chris|the camera]]).
{{clear}}

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:The Simpsons|''The Simpsons'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Simpsons}}
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Chris's Big Night Out

2014-10-23T17:08:09Z

DX10: Couldn't find citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Sorry if there is one that I missed, but I couldn't see one.

[[Image:Cwcgreatime.PNG|thumb|left|He had a great time. :D]]
[[Image:Z100_0533.jpg|thumb|Hail Satan!]]
On 12 [[June 2009]], [[Chris]] visited a local bar/restaurant, where he encountered a pair of fans who recorded and uploaded clips of their time spent with Chris to [[YouTube]]. This event has been referred to as '''Chris's Big Night Out'''.

==Grip 'n' Sip==
In the first video, Chris broke his twenty-seven-year period of abstaining from [[alcohol]] and had a sip (and then two tall glasses) of [[Wikipedia:Long Island Iced Tea|Long Island Iced Tea]] (coincidentally, an [[IBA]] Official Cocktail). Chris's choice of a Long Island Iced Tea is ironic, because it contains vodka, triple sec, rum, tequila and gin (plus lemon juice, simple syrup and [[Coke]]), making it a rather strong cocktail to start off on. Note that, when he swallows the drink, he performs the same reaction as when he swallows his [[navy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Grip 'n' Sip
| image = {{#ev:youtube|xuTPXv9Mthg}}
| Stardate = 12 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]
| next = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Chris Loves The Nightlife|Chris Loves The Nightlife]]
}}

{{quote|Mmm! Goes down salty.}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Cwc_salty_iced_tea.jpg|thumb|What was going through Chris's mind.]]
'''Girl:''' So… so what do you have right now, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Long Island Iced Tea.

[''The camera is turned sideways'']

'''Guy:''' Say that one more time?

'''Chris:''' Long Island Iced Tea.

'''Guy:''' All right… rock it!

'''Girl:''' Okay!

[''Chris shuts his eyes and takes a tiny sip'']

'''Girl:''' What do you think of it?

[''Chris swallows the sip with some difficulty'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm! [[Semen|Goes down salty]].

'''Girl:''' Kinda salty?

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but it's pretty tasty.

'''Girl:''' Yeah.

'''Guy:''' Rock on! All right!

'''Girl:''' So… ''look excited!''

[''Chris smiles almost imperceptibly'']

'''Girl:''' [''laughs''] You don't look very excited!

'''Guy:''' No, “excited”—no, “excited”—“Excited” is—

==Chris Loves The Nightlife==
In another notable video, Chris dances around and sings "[[Wikipedia:I Love the Nightlife|I Love the Nightlife]]" like a [[autism|retard]]. While it's not surprising that Chris still thinks he can sing, it's shocking that he visited a club, since he's said before that he would never do such a thing.

It should come as no surprise to anyone—except perhaps Chris—that "I Love the Nightlife" is a song with a large [[gay]] following. Long-time trolls will notice that Chris made use of this same song during his [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters]] video. It should be noted that this song was also featured in several episodes of ''The Simpsons'', like the Long Island Iced Tea he drank during the course of the evening, further proving that Chris has never had an original thought ever.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Loves The Nightlife
| image = {{#ev:youtube|0rGhHUwdB94}}
| Stardate = 12 June 2009
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Grip 'n' Sip|Grip 'n' Sip]]
| next = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Sonichu Rocks!|Sonichu Rocks!]]
}}

{{quote|I love the nightlife! I've got to boogie!}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris sings "''I Love the Nightlife''", his voice sporadically cracking and his arms periodically flailing'']

'''DJ:''' Ah, yes, indeed! Christopher!

==Sonichu Rocks!==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu Rocks!
| image = {{#ev:youtube|__TCYRdw4p8}}
| Stardate = 12 June 2009
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Chris Loves The Nightlife|Chris Loves The Nightlife]]
| next = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Chris's Big Black Balloon|Chris's Big Black Balloon]]
}}

{{quote|Sonichu's still ''rockin' in my head!''}}

===Transcript===

'''Chris:''' Sonichu's still ''rockin' in my head!''

'''Girl:''' [''laughs'']

==Chris's Big Black Balloon==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris's Big Black Balloon
| image = {{#ev:youtube|dOUd46P6ugw}}
| Stardate = 12 June 2009
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Sonichu Rocks!|Sonichu Rocks!]]
| next = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Chris and His PSP|Chris and His PSP]]
}}

{{quote|Like a balloon!}}

===Transcript===

'''Girl:''' [presumably to Chris] —right now.

'''Chris:''' Like a balloon!

'''Girl:''' [''laughs'']

'''Guy:''' [to Chris] Y'all catch a balloon fish?

'''Man in background:''' Whoop! Whoop!

'''Guy:''' [to a passing bro] Hey, dude—check it out! [[I Got A Fish|He got a fish!]]

'''Bro:''' Oh.

'''Girl:''' [''laughs again'']

==Chris and His PSP==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris and His PSP
| image = {{#ev:youtube|EjCO0agsGL8}}
| Stardate = 12 [[June 2009]]
| Maker = Christian Weston Chandler
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Chris's Big Night Out#Chris's Big Black Balloon|Chris's Big Black Balloon]]
| next = [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
}}

{{quote|You get to see two naked ladies.}}
'''Chris:''' -Of the, of the winning videos of the PaRapper the Rapper contest when it came out on the PSP version of that game.

[''camera moves to show chris's face'']

'''Girl:''' Smile!

[''chris pulls a creepy smile'']

'''Girl:''' [''laughs'']

'''Guy:''' What about the err, explain, explain the omega one again.

[''camera moves back to Chris's hand'']

'''Chris:''' [''inhales sharply''] Got it with thee err, pre-release demo disc of... ''[[God of War|God of War: Chains of Olympus]]''.

[''camera moves back to Chris's face'']

'''Girl:''' Do you like that game?

'''Chris:''' Yeah! It was fun. I completed it.

'''Girl:''' ''Ohhh.''

'''Chris:''' And especially, y’know, there's a fun part in the beginning, and, uh, you get to see two naked ladies, and… [[Wikipedia:Kratos (God of War)|Kratos]] basically has [[sex]] with them, but [[Semen|it shoots ''off-screen'']]—

'''Girl:''' Two naked ladies? [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' —and then, like, it shakes all over the place!

'''Guy:''' I tell ya: a game—

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]|nextlink=[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category: Social life]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2009| 2009-06-12]]
[[Category:Field agent videos| 2009-06-12]]

Barbara Chandler

2014-10-23T16:59:39Z

DX10: /* Ran Coleman Yeatts */ Found a citation for the uncited claim that Yeatts was introduced as a friend of the family. 6 Mar 2007 email has Cole saying it pretty much verbatim.

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|she threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 73)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interperted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

By August 2014, Chris was again begging for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Card games

2014-10-23T16:56:32Z

DX10: Couldn't find a citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Expect to see quite a few of these in the logs.

__NOEDITSECTION__
{{taxpayermoney}}

Throughout his life, [[Chris]] has wasted shitloads of [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] on '''Tradable Card Games''' (TCG). To date, Chris plays five different ones: ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''UFS'' (''Ultimate Fighting System''), ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' TCG, and most recently, ''[[The Eye of Judgment]]''.

==List of TCGs Chris has played==
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|If only life were more like ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''…]]
[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|Chris in ''[[The Eye of Judgment]]''.]]

===Pokémon TCG===
{{main|Pokémon}}
The '''Pokémon TCG''' was first introduced in Japan in October [[1996]], then North America in December [[1998]]. It was initially published by Wizards of the Coast. Chris started getting into the Pokémon TCG in [[1999]], and made his own deck and custom Pokémon-cards. He also [[Inventions|invented]] a special "heavy-duty case" made from [[Lego]] blocks and held together with tape, to carry his card decks.

In [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Chris ran an ad proposing a Pokémon TCG expansion titled ''EX-CWC''. This ad firmly establishes Christian's custom trading cards as part of the Sonichu franchise. Also, it reaffirms Chris's [[Chris and his ego|rampant narcissism]], as he names the proposed expansion after himself (just like he names everything) instead of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] characters that would occupy the expansion.

===Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG===
{{main|Yu-Gi-Oh!}}
The '''Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG''' came out worldwide in [[2002]], and was developed and published by Konami. The earliest sources we have of Chris playing the game are from [[2004]], when he started making a bunch of custom cards. Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] during a ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' match in the summer of [[2005]].

===Sailor Moon TCG===
{{main|Sailor Moon}}
The '''Sailor Moon TCG''' was released in [[2000]] by Dart Flipcards Inc. We know Chris got into this game through Megan, who was a big fan of it, but he has never referenced to it very much outside of the emails. During the [[Julie|Julie Saga]], Chris had a bunch of ''Sailor Moon'' cards up on his website.

===The Eye of Judgment TCG===
{{main|The Eye of Judgment}}
'''The Eye of Judgment''' is a TCG/videogame hybrid released in [[2007]] by [[Sony]]. Chris got into this game quite heavily, because it could be played online, and [[autism|no social interaction]] was needed. This game came into quite a few videos, and Chris probably [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologized]] to [[the GAMe PLACe]] because of it.

===UFS (Ultimate Fighting System) TCG===
'''Universal Fighting System TCG''' is a collectible card game originally designed by Sabertooth Games, it was first released in [[2006]], and involves popular fighting video game characters. According to [[Mimms]], Chris usually played with female characters, like Cassandra from ''[[Soul Calibur]]'' or [[CWC Fighter|Chun-Li]] from ''Street Fighter''.
{{clear}}

==List of places where Chris has played TCGs==
[[Image:Sonichupunch.jpg|thumb|Chris, holding it out like he's supposed to at [[The GAMe PLACe]].]]

===Books-A-Million===
Chris claims to have volunteered as an assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Midlothian [[VA]] '''Books-A-Million''' between March [[1998]] and June [[2000]].<ref name="Resume">[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref> This is impossible, as the Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year. It is also unsure as to what extent Chris was actually "assistant Gym Leader," and whether or not he was just mucking about and behaving like a toddler. Chris would have stopped going here after his family moved 77 miles (125 km) back to [[Ruckersville]] in the summer of 2000.

In the May 2010 video [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|I Pimp My Ride]], as well as a number of other videos from 2010, Chris is seen wearing a shirt that reads "Pokémon League Books-A-Million Trainer", suggesting that at one point Chris did have some sort of staffing role in the store's organized Pokémon games. More important, it shows that Chris has hung on to this cheap memento of the experience for more than a decade, despite the fact that it is now far too small to wear and highlights his [[obesity]] to a disturbing degree.

===Toys "Я" Us===
Chris says he volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the [[Charlottesville]] '''Toys "Я" Us''' between June [[2000]] and June [[2002]],<ref name="Resume" /> after his move back to Ruckersville. Again, we don't really know if he actually had duties, or if he was just joining in with the children.

According to first-hand reports of his games at Toys "Я" Us, Chris used the fake cards he made in battles. Some of these cards are extremely broken or cheap. Chris was reportedly kicked out of the store for insisting that he be allowed to use them, even though they would be outright unfair to whoever played against him. The look upon a child's face as Chris lays down a [[Virgin with rage]] card would have been priceless.

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}
Chris claims to have volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Rochelle VA '''GAMe PLACe'''.<ref name="Resume" /> He started coming here in June [[2002]], and stayed there until he got permabanned by the manager in August [[2008]]. [[Lucas]] has stated that he actually sometimes did do work here as a Gym Leader, although this was only very occasionally, when there were no better people around to do the job.

== Custom cards ==
[[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|thumb|It may look cool, but it's useless against [[Snorlax]]]]

{{main|The Wall of Originals}}
In addition to making custom trading cards (most notably ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' trading cards), Chris has produced tons of custom cards for most of the TCGs he as played. He proudly displays the Pokémon cards in [[The Wall of Originals]] (well, he'll likely proudly display them to anyone whom he manages to trap in the room, anyway), and put many (but not all) of the custom cards in the [[DVD]] slideshow. Most recently, he has made ''Eye of Judgment'' cards, as shown in his [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding Out For a Hero]] video.

It is worthy of note that most (if not all) of Chris' custom Yu-Gi-Oh cards are incredibly overpowered or amazingly weak and would never be accepted in a duel. This shows that Chris either knows too little about games he spent many hours playing or has an [[Chris and his Ego|Ego]] bloated enough to think that cards based off himself and his life should be ahead in power over "lesser" cards.

In the [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Initial_post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], Mimms said that while Chris still kept his custom cards with the rest of his card collection and showed them off to other players at the GAMe PLACe, he had given up on trying to use them in competitive games.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Video games]]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]

George W. Bush

2014-10-23T16:54:03Z

DX10: Couldn't find a citation for this after searching, so I'm expunging it until one arises. Sorry if there is one that I missed, but I scoured the Mumble chats and couldn't see one.

{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]</ref>}}

[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|Dubya warning of the new "Axis of Evil", consisting of Mary Lee Walsh, Jerkops, trolls and boyfriends.]]

'''George W. Bush''' (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|6 July 1946]]) served as the 43rd President of the [[United States]] from 2001 to 2009. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency.

==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]==
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! >8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}

Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers. The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.

==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black.

==Superfluous use of "Jr."==
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]</ref>

==ED edit==
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].

{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush<ref><s>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997405266&oldid=1997404425</s></ref>}}

Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Barack Obama]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Bob Chandler]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, George W.}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Barbara Chandler

2014-10-20T14:39:03Z

DX10: Clarified a bit.

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|she threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 73)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interperted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. {{cite}}

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

By August 2014, Chris was again begging for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2014-10-20T14:36:16Z

DX10: Added a [sic] tag because even I thought it was a transcription typo until I checked the source. Thanks, Chris!

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|she threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 73)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interperted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. {{cite}}

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun (her shot almost killed Cole).

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

By August 2014, Chris was again begging for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Sonichu (character)

2014-08-17T21:11:01Z

DX10: The expression is 'all and sundry', so 'various and sundry' doesn't really work. Sundry on its own works perfectly fine though.

::''This page is about the character. For the comic, see [[Sonichu (comic)]]. For other uses, see [[Sonichu (disambiguation)]]''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new [[Pokémon|pokemon]]. And my name is… Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}

{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 17 March [[Sonichu chronology#1988|1988]] (in universe)
17 March [[2000]] (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] or [[Pikachu]]
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]
|-
|}
'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March 1988<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on [[CWCipedia]]</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] and is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and ''"zaps to the extreme!"''

Sonichu's species, [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], evolves from a [[Sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu mutated from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more convoluted.)

==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon [[cards]]<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being a ridiculously simple project, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. It seemed as if Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] during Basketball Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program. 

After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D|Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation (CWCipedia)]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokémon cards and other various sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The comic was completed and released in [[2005]], five years after Sonichu's conception (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out...).

Sonichu's character design has slightly changed since Chris scrawled the first poorly drawn Sonichu. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), ''Sonichu'' took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for over a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the [[Chris and art|drawing skills of a six-year-old]].

==Fictional character biography==

{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2}}

What would later become known as "Sonichu" hatched as a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] on 17 March 1988,<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /> which interestingly enough is also the exact birth date of Chris's cherished dog [[Patti]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti Eulogy for Patti (CWCipedia)]</ref> It would eventually evolve into a [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]] on 26 February 1994.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a [[Jiggliami|Jigglypuff]] once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]

One day the city of [[Station Square]] was under siege by the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]], and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] attempted to battle the creature. While using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of Pokémon: Sonichu.

After his transformation, he ran back to his parents' nest, where he found that they had been caught by Pokémon trainers. Showing the same [[Chris and death|callousness]] his creator shows after a loss, Sonichu does not seem to have attempted to find them, never mentioned them again, and even refers to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as his father.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu (CWCipedia)]</ref>

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]] and thus stalked Rosechu back to her and Kel's cabin, whereupon he introduced himself to them. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. [[CWCville]]'s Mayor, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father [[Giovanni]] and [[Doctor Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].

One day, while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which reveals that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretells of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], which transformed him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokémon created by the same effect that created himself and Rosechu. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

One day, Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall when Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]] into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.

One day, after having hours of sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent_garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis -- pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent_garbage.com building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing.

When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from [[Chris and anger|raging]] at [[homos]] and [[Women's rights|objectifying his wife]] in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger).

After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as [[Ultra Sonichu]] with some godlike powers of his own. After [[Collosal Chan]]'s crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"[sic]/witness in the mock trial of the [[Asperpedia]] Four, and after the predetermined verdict, took part in Evan's brutal execution.

Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing and chillin'. He enjoys outdoors activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a ''Sonichu'' cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>[[Mumble 6#Chris is Stressed.2C Moving On|Mumble 6]]</ref>
He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at [[14 Branchland Court|14 Brunchville Lane]], CWCville, [[Chris's_homes|Virginia]], [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]]. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Chris almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]

Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today (CWCipedia)]</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]], or the not-so-retarded [[Bob Chandler|hero]] of the Chandler household), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked him between loyalty to [[Reldnahc]] and make him into the Mayor of CWCville, or let Rosechu to live, obviously, he chose Christian instead of Rosechu without hesitation.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg (CWCipedia)]</ref> Like father, like son.

When to cross-dressing, the phrase "like father like son" does not apply to Sonichu; Chris has revealed that [[Robbie Sonee]] is his family's Tomgirl, not Sonichu.<ref>Jackie E-mails 28</ref>

==Sexual prowess==
When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches (18 cm) long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg"/> Chris has also given very intense details to Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology Biology (CWCipedia)]</ref>
 

Sonichu's luck with the ladies apparently predates his transformation into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, as his [[CWCipedia]] biography notes that when he was still a Pikachu he made out with a Jigglypuff.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />. Also, in [[Sonichu 8]], [[Jiggliami]] says she used to have a Pikachu boyfriend. This raises some very disturbing implications, as the CWCipedia article also gives 1988 as the year of his birth and 1998 as the year in which he became Sonichu, meaning he could have not been [[Pedofork|older than 10 years]] at the time of said liaison.

==Powers and abilities==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed and body-spinning powers transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. Some of his special attacks include:

* '''Sky Uppercut''': Jumping punch to the head from below, presumably similar in fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Shoryuken ''Shoryuken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games.
* '''Mega Kick''': A martial arts-style kick, sometimes done in midair.
* '''Double Team''': The attacker quickly creates an illusion that there are multiple attackers, disguising the real one temporarily and allowing them an opportunity to attack whilst the target is confused.
* '''Spin Dash''': Attacker curls into a ball and spins on the spot, before releasing and hurtling directly into the victim in a high-speed rolling attack. In the original games where this move came from, it was capable of breaking barriers, but this has yet to be seen in the comics.
* '''Zap Cannonball''': Attacker creates a ball of pure electrical energy in their hands, before thrusting their palms forward to fire it at the victim, in a similar fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Hadoken ''Hadouken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games, or the [http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Thunder_Bolt ''Thunder Strike''] from ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man 7|Mega Man 7]]''.
* '''Iron Tail''': Attacker swings his tail at the victim to hit them in a slapping attack.
* '''Mud Slap''': Attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes to lower their accuracy.
* '''Thunderbolt''': Attacker charges up electrical power in body, before releasing it at the victim in the form of a long-ranged bolt of electricity.
* '''Thunder''': Attacker charges up electrical power, and uses it to summon lighting bolts down to the victim whilst simultaneously firing off electricity for a powerful lightning attack.

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 km/h (124 mph), much slower than Sonic, who can apparently hit Mach 1 (1,225 km/h / 761 mph) unassisted (so far, the best Sega has been able to show in-game is around 300 mph (483 km/h) in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|''Sonic Unleashed'']]). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 rpm, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze. (However, in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2 Chris claimed that Sonichu can go faster than the speed of sound.)

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|Sonichu is as straight as Chris.]]

One of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris, aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, is that Sonichu is a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]] unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is fast, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Sonic VS Sonichu- the battle nobody wanted to see explodes onto your computer screens!
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|In [[Flipnote Hatena]]
</gallery>
</center>
==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambiguation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]
== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Property tax assessment

2014-07-05T12:15:43Z

DX10: Added the actual value to the primary heading, since it saves time from scrolling down. A ridiculously short amount of time, but it gives it brevity and clarity nonetheless.

This is the last appraisal of [[14 Branchland Court]] made by Greene County before the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], including relevant headers above the assessment report. The last part of the "Legal Description" indicates that the lot is 0.56 acres (approximately 0.23 ha / 24,000 ft2 / 2,300 m2), and that the total worth of the house and land is $159,100.

;Property Address: 14 BRANCHLAND CT
;Legal Description: GREENE LEA L46 S3 .56 AC
;Owner Name/Address: CHANDLER [[Bob Chandler|ROBERT F JR]] & [[Barbara Chandler|BARBARA]] 14 BRANCHLAND CT RUCKERSVILLE VA 22968
;Dwelling Type: SPLITFOYER
;Use/Class: SINGLE FAMILY RESIDENCE (SUB)
;Year Assessed: 2014
;Zoning: R1
;Condition: AVERAGE
;Acreage: 0.0000
;Year Built: [[Pre-1980#1977|1977]]
;Year Efft: [[1986]]

|----------------- Improvement Description ------------------|
Exterior Interior Site
CNST-FRAME NO. ROOMS - 8 STRT-PAVED +----12-----+
EXTR-ALUM/VINL NO. BEDROOMS - 3 TOPO-ROLLING : :
FNDT-CONC BLOCK NO. BATHS - 1 UTIL-PUB WTR : :
RFMT-COMP SHGLS NO. 1/2 BATHS - 1 UTIL-SEP SYS 12 12:
ROOF-GABLE BAST-WALK-OUT BASE UTIL-ELECTR : :
BLTI-UTILITIES ZONE-RESIDENTIAL-S : :
FLOR-CARPET :PF4 :
FUEL-ELECTRIC +-------------30--------------+----12-----+
PLBG-3FXBTH : :
WALL-DRY WALL : :
: :
|-------------------- Dwelling Valuation --------------------|: :
Item Size Rate Value : :
UTILITIES 1 10000.00 10000 : :
ELECTRIC/B 1916 2.87 5498 24 24:
FIXTURE TH 1 5300.00 5300 : :
FIXTURE TW 1 3900.00 3900 : :
BSMT-UNFIN 1008 15.13 15251 : :
BSMT - FIN 908 31.81 28883 : :
SPLIT-LEV- 1008 56.84 57294 : :
PORCH OP/F 144 31.46 4530 :SPL :
Grade Factor ( C-10) .94 +-------------------42--------------------+
Replacement Cost New 122858 Sec Type Str Description Area
Phys Depr. % (.270 ) 1986 - AVG 33172 SPL SPLIT-LEV- 1.00 E42N24W12W30S24 1008
Total Bldg. Value 89700 PF4 PORCH OP/F 1.00 E12N12W12S12 144
---------------------------------------------
|---------------- Other Improvements Valuation --------------| Cur. Value Prev. Value %Inc.
Desc Length Width Size Grade Rate FV/Pct Value Land 66000 66000
SHED FRAM 12.0 20.0 240 2000 Improvements 93100 93100
GAZEBO/FA 10.0 10.0 100 C 56.77 .75 1419 Total 159100 159100
Total Imp Value 3400 Average Price Per Acre

|---------------------- Land Valuation ----------------------|
M Cls Desc G Size Dpth Rate FV/Pct Value
L 48 LOT VALUE M 1 66000.00 66000
Total Land Value 66000
|------------------------------------------------------------|
Total Property Value 159100

==External links==
[http://71.0.81.15/applications/txapps/PropCardsIndex.htm Source]

[[Category:Other documents]]

Talk:A-Logs

2014-05-28T09:54:47Z

DX10: /* The /cwc/ quotation. */ new section

It's a start, but it could be a lot better. I'm only vaguely familiar with A-Log myself, so I'm not sure how much I could do to fix the article. While I don't want this to turn into an Encylopedia Dramatica article about A-Log himself, we need more direct comparisons to him and his actions to fully illustrate why this is discouraged.

If I might make a suggestion Champ, (and this is the only time I will ever say this), I think that this is something we'd need the /cwc/fags' help with. They're the ones who discovered A-Log, know everything about him, wrote his actual ED page, and let's be honest here; When you say the "broader CWC community", that's mostly referring to /cwc/. Why not go over there and put up an invite for them to help us define Alogging and educate the newfags? At the very least we might get some decent quotes from the anons explaining it a bit.

Just a suggestion. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 07:03, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

A couple of points...

:1) "Chris's discomfort for black people [...] is arguably more from failing to understand social norms in that you don't announce to the world you're discomforted by African American rather than of the ideology of white supremacy that your average KKK member would have"

:While I'm no Alogger or anything I think that his attitude toward blacks (and Jews) goes beyond merely not wanting to have sex with their women. Just at look at the way [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|he uses the n-word]]. Also let's not forget [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. Also according to Mimms and Lucas Chris was always worrying that the black kids at the game place would try to steal his stuff, defintely a racist.

:His hatred toward homosexuals most definitely goes beyond regular homophobia. The casual American homophobe does not [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|supports the repeal of DADT so more homos can die]] nor does he wish to [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|prevent them from buying certain brands of body spray]]. A typical homophobes does not wish to have homosexuals locked up and forced into reparative therapy either (I'm too lazy to dig up the chat where he advocates that but it's somewhere here on the wiki).

:Now granted, these are not good reasons for inflicting boddily harm upon Chris. He's too much of a pussy to commit hate crimes, too much of a lazy ass to go and harass people Westboro Baptist style and lacks any political clout to make his hare braind ideas a reality, but I still think that you're understimating his bigotry.

:2) Another argument that I can see aloggers using to justify their attitude toawrd Chris is his lawbreaking. I think that the best counterarguments would be: A) Chris's offenses are relatively minor and most aloggers would not wish physical harm upon a person other than Chris who has the same rapsheet. B) While Chris needs to be punished for his crimes, we already have the legal system for it and it's doing [[28 October 2011#Chris's|a bang up job]]. C) By advocating intentional infliction of bodily harm upon Chris, aloggers are being worse than him by supporting crimes far worse (both from a moral and legal standpoint) than anything he's ever done.

[[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 12:09, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

::Another nitpick: "White knights '''believe that Chris is capable of no wrong''' and try to help him [emphasis added]". I somewhat doubt that all white knights really think that Chris is completely blameless, and anyway that's not their defining characteristic. A person who thinks that Chris is much to blame for his current predicament yet also tries to stop the trolls and help Chris better himself is not a white knight? -- [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 16:43, 12 May 2012 (PDT)

*These are good points, NegaCWC and I think the fellow who added a bunch to the page addressed some of these concerns. It's a delicate issue, I want this page done right if it's going to be in the main namespace, so do you (or anyone else for that matter) think it's good to go now?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:37, 30 May 2012 (PDT)
* If the fellow you're referring to is me, then yes, addressing some of those points was part of the intent of my last edit. As for whether the page is ready to go or not, I'm leaning towards "not just yet". Looking at it, there isn't really much in the way of hard information there, and a lot of it is within the confines of opinions and speculation (the arguments for and against). It feels to me a little more like something you'd see on a forum and not an article that could be referenced. I think a little bit more exposition on A-log himself, at least as far as his involvement in the ongoing saga that is Chris, and how the practice of "A-logging" came into being and came to be known as such, would probably make it feel more like an article. A little bit more fact and reference to balance out the opinion and speculation, so to speak. Course, that's just my opinion, and I'm just a noob. -- [[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 03:56, 1 June 2012 (PDT)
:*Like I said on the community portal, this is a tricky article because it doesn't exactly pertain to Chris directly in the same way [[white knighting]] does, or at least we don't have tangible documentation or anything like that of Chris responding to A-Logging. I really don't want to focus the article on A-Log, because 1) this is the CWCki and [[CWCki:CWCki_is#CWCki_is_about_Chris|the CWCki is about Chris]] and not so much ancillary characters like A-Log, especially given that Chris hasn't responded to anything he's done and 2) I'm more concerned about the mindset that was popularized by A-Log rather than the guy himself.
::I agree that in general, we should try to have articles based on facts and references rather than just our opinions and speculation. But I think this article might need to be an exception to the rule. The white knighting article started out as mostly dealing with the meta-topic of "Can Chris be helped?/I think I should try to help Chris" is probably one of the stages Chris trolls go through and it comes up time and again on Chris related sites. The problem with the White knighting article is that one can read it and end up thinking "Gee, Chris doesn't want help and he's not as innocent as he seems, that means he's an awful awful person and he should be punished." I think it should be pretty clear that Chris is not a spawn of Satan like A-Loggers would like to argue, it's common sense really. Maybe talking about A-Logging and what he did, merely to establish the type of behavior associated with A-Logging, would help make this more factual, with examples of A-Logging on various Chris related sites might flush it out and make it seem like an actual phenomena and less than speculation.
::Ideally I want this article to serve a few goals - 1) bring up this topic, because as I said, it comes up time and again and I think it's a significant meta-topic that warrants discussion, and 2) help CWCki readers and editors not be an A-Log. People have said it and they probably have a point that people often read the CWCki and think Chris is an awful, awful person mostly because we have a tendency to exaggerate for dramatic and rhetorical purposes. This article, coupled with a "Don't be an A-Log" rule in regards to article tone, related to [[CWCki:NPOV|NPOV]], would help the CWCki tremendously.
::At least, that's just my opinion. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:01, 2 June 2012 (PDT)
:*It'd be good if we could get a screencap of A-Logging from YouTube (there was some good quotes on a recent /cwc/ thread along these lines), perhaps a screencap from /cwc/ of someone A-Logging and someone replying with "HI A-LOG." -unsigned comment by [[User:Champthom|Champthom]]
*** Y'know, we DO have a good "HI A-LOG"-type message here - someone in the [[Chris and Money]] talk page was talking about Chris's SSI and trying to get rid of it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 06:49, 1 June 2012 (PDT)

I went in and did a major revision to this page. This was originally on my user page so I took it out and put it on this page because i think the subject matter is relevant to this particular topic on people who may think of "A-Logging" over the Michael Snyder incident.
Kengel1021
* I'm not 100% certain that the revision in question, at least as it is currently worded and formatted, is wholly right for the article. Despite the potential relevance, it doesn't touch upon A-Logging at all, and talks solely about the incident on [[28 October 2011|28 October]]. Moreover, the points you raise are mostly in defense of Chris and his actions on that day. I can see the relevance to A-Logging, in the sense that one shouldn't A-Log Chris over this particular incident, but the reference is tangential at best. I would suggest editing your revision further to make it tie more directly to A-Logging, because as I'm reading it, I feel it belongs more on 28 October 2011 rather than here. I'll further point out that your revision isn't -bad-, per se. Just that it probably needs work to make it more relevant to A-Logging, since you believe the subject matter is indeed relevant. Again, this is only my opinion, and what the bleep do I know? --[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 00:41, 9 July 2012 (PDT)

I have a feeling you are probably right about putting it under the October 28th incident. But there is more leniency regarding this page than the October 28th page regarding speculative articles and I am not sure if this would cross the line or not. Perhaps a moderator could help us here. -unsigned comment by [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]]
* I believe the leniency here is because technically, this article isn't on the CWCki. It's more or less a collaborative rough draft until Champ thinks it's ready to go up. There's also the fact that the topic of A-Logging in general is going to be a bit subjective and speculative because, short of somehow finding actual A-Logs (or at least reformed ones,) most of what we can put is why we think Anthony LoGatto and those of his ilk do what they do. The only relevant facts we can put are about A-Log himself, and the fact that A-Logging happens. 28 October 2011, on the other hand, is all about a specific incident that is both ongoing and (in my opinion) much more significant than the A-Logging phenomenon. Still, someone more veteran than I am would be in a better position to make a call. I'm just guessing here. --[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 22:55, 9 July 2012 (PDT)
:*Like I said, the problem with this article is that it's mostly speculative and opinion and doesn't fit in compared with other articles, that's the main issue. It's easy to find examples of A-Logging - I could probably go on /cwc/ or browse right here on the CWCki and find someone saying something A-Logesque. I think we have an issue that we have people here on the CWCki who are A-Logs and don't realize it that they might object to some things in this article.
::Anyways, I'm tempted to put it in the main namespace, but I want it to be solid, namely that it can demonstrate that this is a phenomena that actually occurs and has relevance to Chris trolling, though in this case it doesn't directly impact him. I think some people think this is an article about A-Log but I don't give a shit about him, I'm more concerned about the attitude towards Chris that's associated with him and not so much the guy himself. The wording has become too weak in this article, "Chris is incredibly gullible" lacks the bite of "Chris is a retard." I can see that people might object to calling Chris a retard, especially since we don't have this elsewhere, but he's practically a retard on a social level. He might not be a technical retard but he's a practical one, he's what colloquially would be called a retard. The wording establishes that he's an idiot who isn't entirely cognizant of his actions, establishing that it's stupid to judge him by some high standard and treat him as if he's some maniacal madman who carefully plans out how they'll hurt people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:27, 10 July 2012 (PDT)

:This article is extremely [[Chris and Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], since it defends Chris on many of his flaws, yet everywhere else, the CWCki mocks him for these. This article should either be deleted, rephrased, have a talk page, or at least have an "IM WORKING ON IT!" template. The talk page would be very nice indeed --[[User:TRUEandHONESTuser|TRUEandHONESTuser]] 18:10, 17 July 2012 (PDT)
::1) You do realize that this ''is'' a talk page? Everyone's still hammering out a lot of stuff here. 2) Yes, it's defending Chris, but it's defending Chris from A-Loggers who think that Chris should suffer immensely for his actions, not outright defending him for his actions. Yes, Chris can be deplorable and it might be unfair that Chris gets away with a lot of stuff, but in the end, we're all trying to prevent future A-Loggers/Chris-Chans from rising up and becoming targets themselves. It's not worth it.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 15:22, 18 July 2012 (PDT)
:*I don't think this page is hypocritical. Ideally, we shouldn't be outright bashing Chris like A-Log does. I don't think the problem with the page but with the attitude of the CWCki as a whole. People often accuse the CWCki for A-Logging, and I think they might be right. Chris really isn't a bad person. I think we try to be fair, if he does something that warrant criticism we criticize him for it, but I think some of the times we're too over the top, usually for rhetorical purposes and I think people who don't have autism should be able to recognize this. But I think we need to have this article so we can say "Don't be an A-Log." It's one thing to point out Chris's faults, it's another thing to act like Chris is a subhuman sociopath who's worse than Hitler and deserves to die. Seriously, Chris is an idiot, he's really not a bad person. If you want to see harm befall Chris or you think he's truly responsible for all his actions, get some goddamn help.
::This page frustrates me though. I think part of the problem is that a lot of you are in fact A-Logs who don't recognize the fact Chris is an idiot. The other problem is that people think this is an article about A-Log when it's more about the behavior that's become associated with him. I wish there was a term that didn't involve his name so we don't have this problem but I can't think of anything better, plus nobody would have any idea what I'm talking about.
::I think we're good on the basic counter arguments, what we need are some real examples of A-Log type behavior from Chris related sites (CWCki, CWCki Forums, /cwc/, YouTube, DeviantArt, etc.). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:27, 30 July 2012 (PDT)
:::I must say, I heartily approve of the examples section. We definitely need more of these. I'll troll around and see what I can find. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 04:35, 5 August 2012 (PDT)

==Citations==
Should we get citations for the examples? I know that there aren't any available for some, but I assume that if we were able to get these quotes recently, the videos they came from must still be around and we can get screencaps for at least a few. I ask, because that quote that claims to be from the CWCki I couldn't seem to find the specific user responsible for. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 10:12, 11 September 2012 (PDT)
*Ditto, perhaps screencap an example for posterity, so people can know we're not making this shit up.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:47, 15 September 2012 (PDT)

== French version ==

Is anyone against me porting over my [[User:Aschlafly/A-Logging-fr|french version]] to mainspace?[[User:Aschlafly|Aschlafly]] 12:50, 20 December 2012 (PST)

* For me, no. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 02:10, 21 December 2012 (PST)

== The /cwc/ quotation. ==

Nitpicking here, but I don't think the /cwc/ quote down there is a very good or direct example of A-Logging. The quote doesn't fit any of the typical traits of A-Loggers (wishing death/suffering, claiming Chris is a 'criminal' like some sort of Radovan Karadzic spinoff etc.) and just really sticks out like a sore thumb. The poster isn't trollshielding or anything, he's simply saying 'Sucks to have autism and people think you're like him'.

This doesn't really fall in line with the other quotes that swear death and suffering on Chris or just ramble like children about how he sucks. It's kind of jarring and makes me think the quoter jumped the gun a little on labelling it A-Logging.

I cast my vote for that quote being excised for clarity on what A-Logging is, since that quote sways it in slight favor of A-Logging being '''any''' criticism of Chris's autism and/or it tarring the perception of other people with autism. Not even out of defense for the poster, but just for 'narrative' clarity. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 09:54, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

The Wall of Originals

2014-05-27T21:54:51Z

DX10: Minor tweak.

[[Image:0821-EP12-5P6-5.jpg|thumb|The Wailing Wall]]

'''The Wall of Originals''' (a.k.a. "The Failing Wall") is a large [[Relic of Fail]] showing [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s customized [[Pokémon]] cards, which hangs from one of the walls in [[Chris's room]]. The lighting in several of his [[videos]] suggested that the sheet is covering a window, but the new [[Tomgirl Pictures]], released on 29 April 2011, have shown that this is probably not the case.

Some trolls speculate that the absence of the Wall in the Tomgirl Pictures indicates that it has been removed. Whether this is permanent or merely temporary is unclear. The fate of the Wall after the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|Chandler house fire]] is unknown, but Chris has implyed it is "physically lost".

==Things to Note==
[[Image:513-CWCsWallOfOriginals.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

There are several interesting trends which emerge when one takes in all of Chris's cards. They provide some insight into his game design process which further support the traits of Chris featured on the CWCki. Some interesting notes about the cards include:
* The earlier cards that feature Christian depict him as a disgusting mutant with a wide, flat nose and thick lips. This eventually branches out to include terrifying photoshops where an expressionless Chris is jammed into crude MSPaint backdrops.
* Note the first appearance of a female alternative for Pikachu, tastefully dubbed Chicachu, who can only deal damage when accompanied by a [[Women's rights|boyfriend]].
* Plautistic. It is a plant that is [[autism|autistic]]. It is extremely likely Chris seems to think [[The High School Story|autism and psychic powers are linked]].
* Chris shows up as a trainer, a gym leader, as well as a Pokémon. In each of these identities, Chris has multiple forms/personas. This trend is totally in line with Christian's theme of acquiring a plethora of powers with little to no effort or explanation. He has created himself as a normal type in which he is depicted as an autistic Pokémon. This reinforces the conclusion that he considers autism a superpower in some respects.
* Many of his handmade cards have devastatingly synergistic effects or several complimentary effects at once. This allows Chris to pull off combos with only one or two cards. According to field reports about his card game technique, Chris would need these hugely layered card effects because his deck building skills may have been rather poor.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Follow-up|"Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in yugi-oh."]]</ref>
* Despite spending considerable time on them, Chris has not tried to use these cards in official games at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|"He had about a 20 different custom cards, but never played any of them."]]</ref>
* Some of the cards that are based on pre-existing Pokémon (such as Blue, Donphan, Togepi) were most likely made in a response to early Generation II Pokémon revealings.
* The Yoshi and Luigi cards were based on an obviously fake ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' April Fool's Day Joke.

==Reproduction of the Wall==

<center>
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|[[Image:Luigi2.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Espan.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Vega.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:333-Vegaton.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Blue.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Baniru.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Togepi.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:dhct.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Missin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Bush.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:334-Bushwacked.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:Koffin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:335-Koffingroo.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Drum.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:336-Drummor.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Cym.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:337-Cymbolic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Flashb.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:338-Flashbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Coon.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:339-Coonbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Bugz.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:340-Bugzapp.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:341-CWCsFlashbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:342-CWCsCoonbulb.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:343-CWCsBugzapp.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Weeler.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:344-Weeler.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Hotfin.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:345-Hotfinish.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Strgtre.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:346-Strongtire1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:347-Strongtire2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:348-CWCsWeeler.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:349-CWCsHotfinish.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:350-CWCsStrongtire.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Comfrg.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:351-Compufrog.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Snuble.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Marril.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Yoshi.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:Plautistic.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:352-Plautistic.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Donphan.gif|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:SonchuC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|50px]]
|-
|?
|[[Image:CwcsonC.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:DrksonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SrfsonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SnwsonC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:175-SchuBday.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg|50px]]
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|[[Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg|50px]]
|Blank
|[[Image:250-BlachuCard1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:251-GiosBchu.jpg|50px]]
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|[[Image:259-WildCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:274PunchyCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:279-MagiCard.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:209-Metonic1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:210-Metonic2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:216-UltSchu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:217-UltSchuEX.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:166-SoneeCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:234-RchuCard1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:235-RchuCard2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:236-RchuCard3.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:264-BubblesCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:269-AngelicaCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:245-VamprosaCard.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:233-RoseyCard.jpg|50px]]
|-
|?
|[[Image:353-Kelbie.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:354-Annchop.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:355-Kixfairy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:356-CWCsKelbie.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:357-CWCsAnnchop.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:358-CWCsKixfairy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:099-CWCsCWC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:098-CWCCard1.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:359-Chicachu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:360-Maychu.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CwcchiC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CwcmayC.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:363-Evails1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:364-Evails2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:365-Supreon.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:366-Armat1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:367-Armat2.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:368-Steeline.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:369-DSteeline.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:370-Techti.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:371-Cytiger.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:372-Booloon.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:373-Squirskun.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:256-EvilEnergy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:SonTrn.gif|50px]]
|[[Image:376-STHTrainer.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:CWCtrn.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:101-ChristianC.jpg|50px]]
|?
|[[Image:158-Cwc City Gym.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:150-MTS.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:377-TurboRainbow.jpg|50px]]
|-
|[[Image:378-Whammy.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:225-SchuBall1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:374-ChaosEmerald.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:379-Bulk.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:224-SchuZord.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:380-ShineyStadium.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:102-HookedOnSonichu1.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:103-CWCsMaint.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:186-edgehogsInLove.jpg|50px]]
|[[Image:Cwcdex.gif|50px]]
|Blank
|Blank
|}
</center>

==Gallery==
Cards that aren't on the Wall of Originals, and other related images:
<center><gallery>
Image:064-CWCsDuelist.jpg|''[[wikipedia:The Duelist|Duelist]]'' magazine.
Image:065-CWCsTopDeck1.jpg|''Top Deck'' magazine.
Image:066-CWCsTopDeck2.jpg|Another fictitious issue of ''Top Deck''.
Image:185-pokbck.jpg|Card backing where Sonichu [[mass debating|jerks off]] while kneeling.
Image:226-SchuBall2.jpg|[[S-Chu Ball]].
Image:361-CWCsChicachu.jpg|Christian's Chicachu.
Image:362-CWCsMaychu.jpg|Christian's Maychu.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of cards from The Wall of Originals]]
*[[The Wallflower]]

==Sources==
<references />

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category: Relics of Fail]] [[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

User talk:TheManInBeige

2014-05-13T21:16:18Z

DX10: Created page with "{{Welcome|DX10}} --~~~~"

{{Welcome|DX10}}
--[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 21:16, 13 May 2014 (UTC)

Chris and the Internet

2014-05-11T05:58:55Z

DX10: Fixed needles external linking for an internal file. Add a : infront of filenames in future to pipe to them instead of displaying them.

[[File:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg|thumb|The proper response to a [[virgin with rage]] on the Internet.]]

The '''[[Wikipedia:Internet|Internet]]''' is a computational system that allows the transmission of data over long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown immensely since its first real conception in the [[1980s]] as a means for the military, and later [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|universities]], to communicate with each other; it is said that about 2,000,000,000<ref>http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm</ref> people are connected to the Internet today.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the Internet's [[Basement Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==
Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats, Jack Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|Internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100 2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990s.

Chris sees no problem in dropping [[Honest Content|highly sensitive information]] over his videos — including his phone number, [[14 Branchland Court|street address]], and the secret name of [[The Wallflower|the girl]] he desperately wanted to be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his [[For Julie's Eyes Only|"private"]] messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in real life. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are polite and helpful, and generally [[Chris and the Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees all websites as vehicles to spew his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|self]]-[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|version]] of [[Honest content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claimed that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it was he who had control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who did the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack Thaddeus|advertisers]] who paid for it.

Out of fear of trolls, Chris refuses to meet people online or interact with people he knows beyond 'closed doors'. He has tried to join public forums at least [[Trollin Train|a couple]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|times]] without attaching his name to the account, but has outed himself either on his own or through his [[Chris and English|unusual and distinctive writing style]], abandoning them when he feels unsafe from his trolls.

==Fora==

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading, simple egotism or both. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Common sense would suggest that Chris would fare well in the Internet forums, which are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something weaboo man-children who still live with their parents. However, Chris has managed to fail here too. By appearing in the web as his usual nicknames or full names, and plastering ''Sonichu'' crap all over, he draws the attention of his trolls, and reacts predictably when they follow him. More importantly, if the trolls somehow fail to notice his new hangouts, he's quick to make enemies completely of his own accord, due to his [[ego]], selfishness, and complete disregard of rules.

==Bans==
[[File:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|left|Some people see [[duck|dicks]] everywhere on the Internet. Chris tends to see these instead.]]

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself [[List of places that have banned Chris|banned]] from the few places he frequents online.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has had stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #9 without an [[Honest content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why — comments he left on the [[CWCipedia]] suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=DeviantART DeviantART] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of ''Sonichu'' #8. Despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]; however, unlike dA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has also had posts moderated at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''. When his "article" on [[Wikipedia]] deleted and his talk page there got trolled, his account was indefinitely blocked, although the blocking admin mistakenly thought that he was a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article.

His most grievous ban to date involves [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Between 29 June and 2 July, Chris had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from the site ''four times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of realizing the fact that a [[Nintendo]]-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site. Because of this and other Flipnotes he had uploaded and reuploaded, the mods briefly blocked Chris's DSi from uploading any further Flipnotes. When his ban expired, Chris resurfaced on the website and reuploaded all the Flipnotes that got him banned in the first place. (The entire situation wasn't helped by try-hard trolls flagging his animations in a desperate attempt to have an impact.)

One notices a pattern in all of this — Chris has a tendency to not read a website's terms of service or gain an understanding of websites he uses. When protesting his ban from Wikipedia for violating one of their numerous rules, he argued that he didn't have the time to read the pages upon pages of fine print that stipulated what constituted acceptable behavior. When faced with a similar conflict on Flipnote, he failed to get the hint that each deleted animation was violating the terms of service, even uploading a video anyone could tell was inappropriate for the PG-13 website no less than ''four times'' before his DSi was blocked from the service.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris means when he says he going to "[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|go outside and enjoy life.]]"]]

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling that it has its own term: "[http://www.wordiq.com/definition/Flounce flouncing]".

Of course, his PS3 is still hooked up to the internet (where he plays video games, reads game forums and logs into YouTube), so he never really leaves for good, he merely changes his outlet. When Chris talks about quitting the internet, he means ceasing video and comic production, and no longer tangling with trolls.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was when the [[Ivy]] saga was hitting its peak; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|rant about ''The Cleveland Show'']] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the Internet.]] Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''fifth'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the Internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

This would've been easy for the trolls to do, if Chris had just [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|stopped]] [[The MovingForward videos|making]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|videos]] — especially ones [[Stardate, August 27, 2010|addressing them]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|specifically]] ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_captured_on_video|not seeking out trolls offline couldn't hurt, either]]).

On 22 [[November 2010]] Chris [[100_2357.MOV|announced that he would be leaving the Internet]] ''yet again'', and began what would become his longest time away from the Internet. For an hereto unsurpassed period of time, Chris managed to refrain from doing something that would directly attract the attention of the trolls, although he was not completely able to repress his urge to spread his ego over the tubes, and thanks to his [[PS3]] with web connection and keyboard controller, he still made [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|occasional]] [[Autism Tutorial|efforts]] to make the world realize his greatness.

Despite his claims to have stopped socializing online, a new [[facebook]] account bearing a [[:File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|previously unseen photograph of Chris]] was discovered on 5 [[July 2011]], and two weeks later it was revealed that between 29 [[May 2011|May]] and 20 [[June 2011]] Chris was frequenting the forum [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] while trying (and failing) to stay anonymous. This culminated with [[Calling Out|three new videos]] released on 6 August 2011 after a 257 day YouTube hiatus.

Although unofficial, it is worth mentioning that since the death of [[Bob]] in [[September 2011]], Chris had not returned to Youtube for over two years, which broke his previous record of 257 days. Technically, that could have been considered a seventh internet abandonment (with the only exceptions being Facebook and Twitter)<ref>Facebook</ref>. However, in [[November 2013]], Chris uploaded a [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|video]] he'd recorded the previous month, once again showing that, ultimately, he just can't resist [[Chris_and_his_Ego|uploading things about himself]].

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}

Talk:Chris-chan (forum)

2014-05-08T04:35:39Z

DX10: /* Merge with Encyclopedia Dramatica */

==Addition to the trolling community?==
That statement just doesn't seem right to me--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 05:14, 23 December 2009 (CET)

==To do==
Add a "Typical threads" like from the [[Krapple]] article. I couldn't think of anything funny. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:39, 20 September 2009 (CEST)
*Done. They all link to the origninal topics, too. Tell me what you think. --[[User:Anon1Guardian|Anon1Guardian]] 21:28, 25 November 2009 (CET)[[Image:anonlaugh.png|50px]]
:*It's even better that you added to actual links. Nice work, I like it a lot. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:56, 25 November 2009 (CET)
::*Yeah. I would have added them to the [[Krapple]] article, but all the old ones are gone. :( --[[User:Anon1Guardian|Anon1Guardian]] 08:59, 26 November 2009 (CET)[[Image:Anonlaugh.png|50px]]

== Chatlog ==

This is a log from #legi0n/#trollparadise from when the Legi0nfags trolled several members of the EDF. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 07:55, 20 September 2009 (CEST)

<pre>
Sep 04 16:46:41 * Cojack (ad51603a@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 16:47:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Hi!
Sep 04 16:47:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Welcome friend.
Sep 04 16:47:21 <Cojack> Well, hello there!
Sep 04 16:47:39 <AlecVanKrause> hallo
Sep 04 16:48:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> How are you?
Sep 04 16:48:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Cojack, RESPOND
Sep 04 16:48:52 * SteveSteve (SteveSteve@anon-9E3C8A8D.pppoe-dynamic.nb.aliant.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 16:49:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Why hello stevesteve
Sep 04 16:49:05 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives voice to SteveSteve
Sep 04 16:49:06 <SteveSteve> Oh hello
Sep 04 16:49:16 <AlecVanKrause> hallo SteveSteve
Sep 04 16:49:17 <Cojack> I'm here! I'm just a tad bit busy, I'm sorry.
Sep 04 16:49:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Cojack, do you have a EDidiot account
Sep 04 16:49:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you could help us
Sep 04 16:49:34 <Cojack> How so?
Sep 04 16:49:36 * CWC (79db7c36@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 16:49:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Oh hi!
Sep 04 16:49:43 <Cojack> There's only so much that I can do.
Sep 04 16:49:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I would have liked to make a thread
Sep 04 16:49:46 <CWC> OM NOM NOM NOM
Sep 04 16:49:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> with this chat URL
Sep 04 16:49:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I think everyone needs to know
Sep 04 16:49:59 * CWC has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 16:50:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> about the new troll chat
Sep 04 16:50:09 <Cojack> Well, why can't you?
Sep 04 16:50:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I am a junior member
Sep 04 16:50:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ;_;
Sep 04 16:51:08 <Cojack> Oooh! Well, I'm sorry. I suppose keep posting until you have enough to upgrade or whatever. I mean, not spam, but...Yeah. Good idea about the chat, btw.
Sep 04 16:51:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> well
Sep 04 16:52:09 <GodBear01|TextOnly> all you need to do is make a thread and post that tinyurl
Sep 04 16:52:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> it would help get more people
Sep 04 16:52:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we need to rally everyone
Sep 04 16:53:55 <Cojack> Hmm. I suppose so. I'm about to leave, however, so I won't be able to do it right now.
Sep 04 16:54:18 * q0hwqp (54391d7e@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 16:54:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hi!
Sep 04 16:54:49 * q0hwqp has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 16:55:43 * theld (vesu@anon-1A37E9EF.hsd1.tn.comcast.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 16:56:37 <Cojack> Welcome.
Sep 04 16:57:01 * You've invited NurseJoy to #TrollParadise (yume.ncirc)
Sep 04 16:57:01 * GodBear01|TextOnly invited NurseJoy into the channel.
Sep 04 16:58:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hi theld
Sep 04 16:58:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> How are you
Sep 04 16:58:53 <theld> Hello.
Sep 04 16:59:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ;_;
Sep 04 17:00:10 <Cojack> Oh, pshaw. Don't cry now. Whose making the thread you mentioned? I would, but I'm really pressed for time.
Sep 04 17:00:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No one is
Sep 04 17:00:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> We really need more people
Sep 04 17:01:05 <Cojack> I see.
Sep 04 17:01:13 * theld has quit (client exited: ChipzIRC 0.100.0.21)
Sep 04 17:02:44 <Cojack> Well, I need to head out. Good luck, Godbear.
Sep 04 17:02:45 * Cojack has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 17:02:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fuck
Sep 04 17:10:47 * DrShoggoth (DrShoggoth@anon-83A8E2E7.cust.wildblue.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:11:00 <DrShoggoth> heh
Sep 04 17:11:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> NO
Sep 04 17:11:04 <DrShoggoth> This may be fun
Sep 04 17:11:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> JOIN AS NURSE JOY
Sep 04 17:11:12 <DrShoggoth> ok
Sep 04 17:11:15 * DrShoggoth (DrShoggoth@anon-83A8E2E7.cust.wildblue.net) has left #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:11:25 * NurseJoy (AbortionDi@anon-83A8E2E7.cust.wildblue.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:12:30 <NurseJoy> alrighty
Sep 04 17:14:36 * fatniggo (president.@anon-765D03EF.triad.res.rr.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:14:39 * AlecVanKrause gives channel operator status to NurseJoy
Sep 04 17:31:34 * GhostWriterL (riftwarrio@anon-597A912E.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:31:39 * Derpington (43a0f2ac@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:31:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WHO ARE YOU
Sep 04 17:31:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
Sep 04 17:31:47 <NurseJoy> Derpington
Sep 04 17:31:51 <NurseJoy> Do you have...
Sep 04 17:31:52 <NurseJoy> breasts?
Sep 04 17:31:54 <fatniggo> trollsta's paradise
Sep 04 17:31:57 <Derpington> Im a guy
Sep 04 17:32:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> FAGGOT
Sep 04 17:32:04 <SteveSteve> The question stands
Sep 04 17:32:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU SUCK DICK
Sep 04 17:32:05 <GhostWriterL> Guys can have breasts
Sep 04 17:32:10 <GhostWriterL> Amazing Atheist has breasts
Sep 04 17:32:13 <Derpington> Yes, I has man boobs\
Sep 04 17:32:13 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel operator status to Derpington
Sep 04 17:32:13 <SteveSteve> Chris has breasts
Sep 04 17:32:15 * GodBear01|TextOnly removes channel operator status from Derpington
Sep 04 17:32:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU WANT IT BACK
Sep 04 17:32:25 <NurseJoy> Derpington
Sep 04 17:32:31 <NurseJoy> How long is your erect penis?
Sep 04 17:32:32 <GodBear01|TextOnly> POST A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK WITH A TIMESTAMP
Sep 04 17:32:37 <fatniggo> lol
Sep 04 17:32:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WE WANT IT TO SAY
Sep 04 17:32:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> "GODBEAR IS MY ONLY GOD"
Sep 04 17:32:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WRITE DIRECTLY ONTO YOUR DICK
Sep 04 17:32:52 <Derpington> But I don't believe in god
Sep 04 17:32:55 <SteveSteve> with a picture of a bear also
Sep 04 17:33:01 <NurseJoy> YOU BELIEVE IN GODBEAR
Sep 04 17:33:06 <NurseJoy> THE SHORT NAME
Sep 04 17:33:14 <NurseJoy> OF CWC'S ONE TRUE GOD
Sep 04 17:33:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You believe in two things while on this chat
Sep 04 17:33:24 <NurseJoy> GODJESUSMALLCONDUCTORBEARSONICTHEHEDGEHOGAMERICANRABBITOPTIMUSPRIME
Sep 04 17:33:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you believe in corn
Sep 04 17:33:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and you believe in godbear
Sep 04 17:33:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> or you are a faggot
Sep 04 17:33:33 <SteveSteve> His true name cannot be said by non-autistic tounges
Sep 04 17:33:39 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and don't deserve to be a troll
Sep 04 17:33:42 <NurseJoy> You also believe I'm sexy.
Sep 04 17:33:43 <Derpington> I don't believe in corn either
Sep 04 17:33:53 <NurseJoy> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Sep 04 17:34:04 <NurseJoy> Corn is there whether you believe in it or not
Sep 04 17:34:05 * bee (181454de@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:34:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> BEE
Sep 04 17:34:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> THIS IS FOR MEN ONLY
Sep 04 17:34:14 * bee has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 17:34:16 <Derpington> Corn is a ploy to cover up 9/11 though
Sep 04 17:34:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Corn
Sep 04 17:34:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> is god
Sep 04 17:34:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> GOt it
Sep 04 17:34:23 <GhostWriterL> Corn is a conspiracy created by vegans
Sep 04 17:34:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You don't fuck with corn
Sep 04 17:34:37 <Derpington> It's a 9/11 ploy though
Sep 04 17:34:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You know what.
Sep 04 17:34:51 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You don't know our special story
Sep 04 17:34:53 <GodBear01|TextOnly> DO you?
Sep 04 17:34:55 <Derpington> keep the people pleading for corn and cover 9/11 up
Sep 04 17:35:03 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You don't know about our required reading material
Sep 04 17:35:03 <Derpington> that's their plot
Sep 04 17:35:16 <SteveSteve> How to talk to girls?
Sep 04 17:35:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> If you want to continue
Sep 04 17:35:18 <NurseJoy> http://www.nvhforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4669&view=previous
Sep 04 17:35:18 <GhostWriterL> Shoggoth's hentai fanfic?
Sep 04 17:35:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> If you want to
Sep 04 17:35:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> troll chris
Sep 04 17:35:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> for real
Sep 04 17:35:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you will read that
Sep 04 17:35:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> all of it
Sep 04 17:35:48 <Derpington> read that forum
Sep 04 17:35:50 <Derpington> right
Sep 04 17:35:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Read the entire thing
Sep 04 17:35:59 <Derpington> aight
Sep 04 17:36:29 <SteveSteve> Read it...and 'enjoy' it
Sep 04 17:36:35 <Derpington> ok
Sep 04 17:36:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Don't stop reading it for any reason
Sep 04 17:40:36 <Derpington> Needs moar rape
Sep 04 17:40:43 <Derpington> seriously it just does
Sep 04 17:40:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Finish it
Sep 04 17:40:55 <Derpington> I have
Sep 04 17:40:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> oh yeah
Sep 04 17:41:04 <Derpington> Really though, it's not that special
Sep 04 17:41:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You didn't read it then
Sep 04 17:41:11 <Derpington> just shinji raping people
Sep 04 17:41:18 <Derpington> no I did
Sep 04 17:41:32 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I don't believe you.
Sep 04 17:41:51 <Derpington> All the characters in Neon were mentally unstable allready
Sep 04 17:42:02 <Derpington> So not much of a surprise if this actually happened
Sep 04 17:42:21 <Derpington> I must say Asuka did deserve it though
Sep 04 17:42:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Derpington
Sep 04 17:42:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you are a sick fuck
Sep 04 17:42:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> that no one can help
Sep 04 17:42:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> go back to /b/
Sep 04 17:42:52 * GodBear01|TextOnly has kicked Derpington from #TrollParadise (GodBear01|TextOnly)
Sep 04 17:42:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> faggot
Sep 04 17:43:02 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I hope he bitches
Sep 04 17:48:16 * DYKES (a44d35ec@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 17:48:35 <DYKES> hi
Sep 04 17:49:25 * DYKES has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 17:52:40 * SteveSteve has quit (client exited: SLUMBER)
Sep 04 18:00:03 * GodBear01|TextOnly has changed the topic to: Welcome ED, TO THE NEW CHRIS-CHAN CHAT! http://tinyurl.com/trollparadise
Sep 04 18:10:11 * BlurredOut (4512e9da@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:11:06 <BlurredOut> Evening.
Sep 04 18:11:26 <GhostWriterL> HARRO
Sep 04 18:12:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HI!
Sep 04 18:12:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WELCOME
Sep 04 18:12:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> DO YOU WANT TO TROLL CHRIS
Sep 04 18:12:30 <BlurredOut> I take it this is mostly for us EDiots from the forums to discuss trolling ideas in a more secure environment.
Sep 04 18:12:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Oh yeah
Sep 04 18:12:49 <BlurredOut> I'm PokerFace on the forum.
Sep 04 18:12:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Oh hi pokerface
Sep 04 18:13:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You are a really epic troll
Sep 04 18:13:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Like clydecash epic
Sep 04 18:13:21 <BlurredOut> Nah, just average if you ask me.
Sep 04 18:13:48 <BlurredOut> I only plan, I rarely do anything REALLY out there. Only thing I can take credit for is causing DestinyMew on Deviant Art some butthurt XD
Sep 04 18:13:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Wait
Sep 04 18:14:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Do you know cupcake
Sep 04 18:14:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> can you get him on
Sep 04 18:14:22 <BlurredOut> Cupcake...OH the guy who's been calling the Lumberjack XD
Sep 04 18:14:59 <BlurredOut> Yeah I can go yell at him to get his ass in IRC.
Sep 04 18:16:52 <BlurredOut> So what's all this about Clyde Cash actually having dinner with chris?
Sep 04 18:17:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Well
Sep 04 18:17:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ok
Sep 04 18:17:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Feel free to tell the forums
Sep 04 18:17:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ClydeCash visited the Chandlers while they were cleaning up
Sep 04 18:17:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> as a Health Inspector
Sep 04 18:17:35 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Chris almost called him a faggot
Sep 04 18:17:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> but Bob rushed out
Sep 04 18:17:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and invited him in
Sep 04 18:17:53 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Clyde is now in the building looking for the autism papers
Sep 04 18:18:32 <BlurredOut> You know, you always hear about REAL moments of win...but so rarely do you fall flat on your ass laughing so hard.
Sep 04 18:19:03 <GhostWriterL> o.O
Sep 04 18:19:12 <GhostWriterL> So they ARE getting inspected?
Sep 04 18:19:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YEP
Sep 04 18:19:39 <BlurredOut> That's awesome.
Sep 04 18:19:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Make a thread
Sep 04 18:19:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> also get everyone in here
Sep 04 18:20:11 <BlurredOut> And here we were about to send in emails to the local newspaper :p
Sep 04 18:20:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No
Sep 04 18:20:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> We need to rally everyone up
Sep 04 18:20:45 <BlurredOut> Sure, why not? Most EDiots browse or lurk /cwc/
Sep 04 18:21:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> send them this
Sep 04 18:21:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> http://tinyurl.com/trollparadise
Sep 04 18:21:09 <GodBear01|TextOnly> include that in the post
Sep 04 18:23:00 <BlurredOut> It has been done.
Sep 04 18:23:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :D
Sep 04 18:23:47 <fatniggo> sweet, i can't wait to have all of the best cchan trolls in one room
Sep 04 18:23:53 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously
Sep 04 18:24:01 <BlurredOut> I tell you, if he's busy cleaning for awhile, this gives me more time to hash out the specifics with my "Creamasaur" stuff. So far I got two artists working on it.
Sep 04 18:24:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :D
Sep 04 18:24:20 <fatniggo> explain creamasaur, i haven't gotten a chance to see it yet
Sep 04 18:24:44 <BlurredOut> Basically, we're making a Lesbo character to be a love interest with Rosechu.
Sep 04 18:25:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> sounds great!!
Sep 04 18:25:30 <BlurredOut> We've created this entire character who became so appauled by CWC in public that she turned lesbian. We're also making her claim to be the original creator of Sonichu when she was at PVCC and mentioned it with Chris while discussing how they both liked Soic.
Sep 04 18:25:33 <BlurredOut> Sonic*
Sep 04 18:25:34 <fatniggo> hahahaha!! i love it!
Sep 04 18:25:46 * SuperTanooki (461bc656@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:25:59 <BlurredOut> She found out Chris stole the Sonichu idea and is ready to RAAGE.
Sep 04 18:26:07 <GhostWriterL> I thought she was supposed to have made Rosechu?
Sep 04 18:26:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HI!
Sep 04 18:26:12 <BlurredOut> We may even have some camwhores portray her as real.
Sep 04 18:26:12 <GhostWriterL> And Chris stole her
Sep 04 18:26:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WELCOME
Sep 04 18:26:20 <BlurredOut> Well that was the original idea.
Sep 04 18:26:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I am open to camwhores
Sep 04 18:26:26 <GhostWriterL> Hey, Bee could do it
Sep 04 18:26:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> BEE IS DEAD
Sep 04 18:26:48 <BlurredOut> But we figured it'd be more lulzy to just claim he stole FUCKING everything and watch him rage out.
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Sep 04 18:27:36 * Camishio (18d1da61@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:27:37 <BlurredOut> Another trolls suggested we come up with a gay lover for Sonichu...but I'm content to stick with this one.
Sep 04 18:27:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hellO!
Sep 04 18:27:52 <BlurredOut> Hey, any incoming EDiots, stay. No seriously.
Sep 04 18:27:53 <GhostWriterL> I wonder if it'd be possible to imply that Family Guy got the inspiration for the "Peter Griffin finds out he's retarded" episode from Chris-Chan
Sep 04 18:27:56 <BlurredOut> Shit is going down.
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Sep 04 18:28:13 <BlurredOut> FAG.
Sep 04 18:28:19 * BFFJILL (18d1da61@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:28:20 <fatniggo> well, they did do that episode where peter was dressed up like chrissy
Sep 04 18:28:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HELLO EVERYONE
Sep 04 18:28:31 <BFFJILL> Hey
Sep 04 18:28:39 <GhostWriterL> Someone needs to point that out to Chris and make him rage at that, too
Sep 04 18:28:48 <GhostWriterL> Send angry e-mails to Cartoon Network
Sep 04 18:28:56 <GhostWriterL> And get put up on those Adult Swim bumps
Sep 04 18:29:07 <BlurredOut> He would send ANGRY videos....his emails are hard to read because of how RETARDED he is.
Sep 04 18:29:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YEAH!
Sep 04 18:29:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> But
Sep 04 18:29:27 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we should add stuff the videos
Sep 04 18:29:30 <BFFJILL> So Clydes with the Health inspectors?
Sep 04 18:29:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> like food
Sep 04 18:29:34 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Nonnono
Sep 04 18:29:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Clyde is posing as a health inspector
Sep 04 18:29:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> he is eating dinner with the chandlers
Sep 04 18:30:10 <BFFJILL> OH.. That is amazing
Sep 04 18:30:10 <BlurredOut> Wonder if he'll break it to them softly...
Sep 04 18:30:11 <GhostWriterL> Tell him to take anti-biotics after he leaves
Sep 04 18:30:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He is searching
Sep 04 18:30:19 <BlurredOut> And even better, maybe he has a WIRE on him.
Sep 04 18:30:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> for the papers
Sep 04 18:30:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ;3 maybe
Sep 04 18:30:32 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Also kacey
Sep 04 18:30:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> about her
Sep 04 18:30:36 <GodBear01|TextOnly> she was from south africa
Sep 04 18:31:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Also
Sep 04 18:31:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> today is bob's birthday
Sep 04 18:31:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> So its a birthday celebration
Sep 04 18:31:33 <BFFJILL> Happy 82nd...
Sep 04 18:31:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> So clyde is there
Sep 04 18:31:48 <BlurredOut> So I heard XD, I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't so naive.
Sep 04 18:31:51 <GodBear01|TextOnly> with everyone
Sep 04 18:32:01 <BlurredOut> I'l brb, phone.
Sep 04 18:32:02 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He went in alone
Sep 04 18:32:22 <BFFJILL> Hope he doesnt go An hero from what he sees....
Sep 04 18:32:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Who and what do you mean
Sep 04 18:32:40 <BFFJILL> Clyde
Sep 04 18:32:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Clyde is a god
Sep 04 18:32:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> remember
Sep 04 18:32:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He doesn't die
Sep 04 18:33:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> And when he does
Sep 04 18:33:03 <GodBear01|TextOnly> another one takes his place
Sep 04 18:33:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we have over 200 clydes
Sep 04 18:33:14 <GodBear01|TextOnly> waiting to take the next ones place
Sep 04 18:33:16 <BFFJILL> :0
Sep 04 18:34:40 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:34:50 <abba149> hi im lost
Sep 04 18:35:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Hi
Sep 04 18:35:31 <BFFJILL> So does Clyde has any sort of communication devince, or any way to record this?
Sep 04 18:35:38 <abba149> i was lookin for a 4chan irc and i stumbled into this server
Sep 04 18:35:49 <BlurredOut> And I'm back, so I take it he's almost done there...or at least I hope. Its almost 10pm where Chris is...an we all know how Chris has an insatiable hunger for cock.
Sep 04 18:36:03 <GhostWriterL> Clyde gonna get raped?
Sep 04 18:36:14 <abba149> people like to call me a troll so i came in here
Sep 04 18:36:20 <BlurredOut> Only if he stays there too long.
Sep 04 18:36:31 <BlurredOut> Orly Abba? HOW ARE YOU A TROLL!?
Sep 04 18:36:31 <GhostWriterL> How long has he been there?
Sep 04 18:36:38 <GhostWriterL> A troll?
Sep 04 18:36:42 <GhostWriterL> WTF is a troll?
Sep 04 18:36:46 <abba149> i poke to learn things in a unassuming mannor
Sep 04 18:36:53 <BlurredOut> I see....
Sep 04 18:36:55 <BlurredOut> Tell me
Sep 04 18:36:57 <BlurredOut> Do you.
Sep 04 18:36:58 <BlurredOut> Know
Sep 04 18:37:02 <BlurredOut> About the bird?
Sep 04 18:37:13 <abba149> bird is the word?
Sep 04 18:37:18 <GhostWriterL> Shit, he passed
Sep 04 18:37:21 <BlurredOut> He has passed the test.
Sep 04 18:37:26 <abba149> lol thats and old one
Sep 04 18:37:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Oh
Sep 04 18:37:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Hell no
Sep 04 18:37:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No family guy
Sep 04 18:37:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Oh speaking of which
Sep 04 18:38:00 <BlurredOut> :p
Sep 04 18:38:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we do have a test
Sep 04 18:38:05 <abba149> the song is older then the net
Sep 04 18:38:09 <GodBear01|TextOnly> http://www.nvhforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4669&view=previous
Sep 04 18:38:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> read
Sep 04 18:38:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> all of this
Sep 04 18:38:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Don't stop
Sep 04 18:38:17 <fatniggo> the net is 40! is it older than 40?
Sep 04 18:38:22 <fatniggo> probably is now that i think about it
Sep 04 18:38:29 <BlurredOut> Well the song is OLD as hell.
Sep 04 18:38:50 <BlurredOut> but the Jokes has been around since at least the 80s.
Sep 04 18:38:56 <BlurredOut> Family Guy over did it...HORRIBLY.
Sep 04 18:39:04 <BlurredOut> But enough about that shit.
Sep 04 18:39:08 <BlurredOut> THIS IS ABOUT CHRISSY
Sep 04 18:39:12 <abba149> Blurredout you old school
Sep 04 18:39:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Read the entire story
Sep 04 18:39:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> no talking in here
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Sep 04 18:39:52 <BlurredOut> XD
Sep 04 18:40:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ALL OF IT
Sep 04 18:40:35 <BlurredOut> Can I shoot myself now?
Sep 04 18:40:50 <BlurredOut> DATE RAEP 2: ELECTRIC BUGALOO!
Sep 04 18:41:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Nope
Sep 04 18:41:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Hey
Sep 04 18:41:22 <GodBear01|TextOnly> by the way
Sep 04 18:41:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I brought plenty of fizzy drinks - for me.
Sep 04 18:41:34 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Spread this story around
Sep 04 18:41:48 <abba149> moo
Sep 04 18:42:16 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has left #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:42:23 <BlurredOut> Finally.
Sep 04 18:42:40 <BlurredOut> Yeah, no one is really checking out the forum topic...
Sep 04 18:42:51 * AlecVanKrause has quit (Ping timeout)
Sep 04 18:42:57 <BlurredOut> Cupcake pretty much said "meh" to coming in here...
Sep 04 18:43:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> D:
Sep 04 18:43:12 <BlurredOut> That and he's busy trying to reach Chris.
Sep 04 18:43:32 <BlurredOut> Who has answered the phone only TWICE to say: "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER YOU FILTHY TROLLS!"
Sep 04 18:43:34 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:43:41 <abba149> any of you guys pirates?
Sep 04 18:43:49 <BlurredOut> Welcome to T.R.O.L.L
Sep 04 18:43:50 * GhostWriterL is now known as WhiteKnight
Sep 04 18:44:08 <BlurredOut> The REALLY old LUMP LICKERS
Sep 04 18:44:11 * WhiteKnight is now known as GhostWriterL
Sep 04 18:44:16 <abba149> lol
Sep 04 18:44:19 <BlurredOut> Are you a lump licker?
Sep 04 18:44:31 <abba149> yes
Sep 04 18:44:34 <BlurredOut> ARE YOU?!
Sep 04 18:44:41 <abba149> nips?
Sep 04 18:44:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No
Sep 04 18:44:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> This is trollstas paradise
Sep 04 18:44:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No exceptions
Sep 04 18:44:52 <abba149> :P
Sep 04 18:45:22 <BlurredOut> SHUT UP MAN YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY E-FRIENDS.
Sep 04 18:45:26 <abba149> lmfao you guys just got your self and abba
Sep 04 18:45:35 <BlurredOut> derp
Sep 04 18:45:36 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU HAVE NO E-FRIENDS
Sep 04 18:45:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> THATS WHY
Sep 04 18:45:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I AM AWESOME
Sep 04 18:45:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> GOT IT
Sep 04 18:45:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU RESPECT ME
Sep 04 18:45:47 <BlurredOut> DERP DE DERP!
Sep 04 18:45:52 <abba149> He is Awesome GOT TITS
Sep 04 18:45:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU CALL ME YOUR FUCKING LORD AND MASTER
Sep 04 18:46:04 <abba149> LORD AND MASTER!
Sep 04 18:46:15 <abba149> bater
Sep 04 18:46:18 <BlurredOut> De derp derp, derping de derp derp
Sep 04 18:46:21 <abba149> DERP!
Sep 04 18:46:25 <abba149> DUH!
Sep 04 18:46:27 <BlurredOut> no.
Sep 04 18:46:30 <abba149> NO!
Sep 04 18:46:32 <abba149> lo
Sep 04 18:46:33 <abba149> l
Sep 04 18:46:37 <abba149> LMFAO
Sep 04 18:46:46 <BlurredOut> Satan is my lord and master. This I know for the pastor tells me so...
Sep 04 18:46:48 <BlurredOut> ....in bed.
Sep 04 18:46:50 * SpookyCupcakes (63f7c8e0@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:46:52 <abba149> what lines you got
Sep 04 18:46:57 <BlurredOut> FINALLY
Sep 04 18:47:06 <abba149> in bed i would like some Sects
Sep 04 18:47:07 <BlurredOut> I only sent the message HOURS ago.
Sep 04 18:47:28 <SpookyCupcakes> I heard something about clyde cash trolling as a health inspector?
Sep 04 18:47:45 <BlurredOut> Thats about the gist of it, and now he's searching for the papres.
Sep 04 18:47:48 <BlurredOut> papers*
Sep 04 18:47:54 <abba149> PAPERS!
Sep 04 18:47:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> its true
Sep 04 18:47:58 <abba149> BILLY CANT READ!
Sep 04 18:47:59 <SpookyCupcakes> what papers?
Sep 04 18:48:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> THIS JUST IN
Sep 04 18:48:09 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CLYDE MIGHT HAVE FOUND THEM
Sep 04 18:48:13 <abba149> OMFG
Sep 04 18:48:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HE THINKS THEY ARE HIDDEN IN THE CEREAL BOXES
Sep 04 18:48:18 <SpookyCupcakes> WHAT PAPERS?!
Sep 04 18:48:25 <BlurredOut> Might or did, I don't deal with the IMPOSSIBLE.
Sep 04 18:48:31 <abba149> THE PASSPORTS FOR THE OPERATION
Sep 04 18:48:42 <SpookyCupcakes> lolwut
Sep 04 18:48:43 <abba149> the mission is clear
Sep 04 18:48:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No seriously
Sep 04 18:48:59 <SpookyCupcakes> guys, I have no fucking clue whats going on right now
Sep 04 18:48:59 <BlurredOut> Also, I'm beginning to suspect this ENTIRE IRC is a shame...a...a....
Sep 04 18:49:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> the chandlers are dumb enough
Sep 04 18:49:03 <GodBear01|TextOnly> to hide them there
Sep 04 18:49:05 <BlurredOut> A TROLL TROLLIN THE TROLL!
Sep 04 18:49:05 <abba149> we needs to makes Transectsuals
Sep 04 18:49:23 <BlurredOut> Sorry, paranoia was taking root again.
Sep 04 18:49:35 <BlurredOut> You get that from having to deal with people like Chris and Chase...
Sep 04 18:49:41 <abba149> TROLL OMFG THERE ARE TROLLS IN HERE
Sep 04 18:49:44 * BlurredOut has quit (User has been banned from helldive (Session limit exceeded))
Sep 04 18:49:44 * SpookyCupcakes has quit (User has been banned from helldive (Session limit exceeded))
Sep 04 18:50:09 <abba149> ARF!
Sep 04 18:50:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> what the hell
Sep 04 18:51:10 <abba149> Snow cones?
Sep 04 18:51:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Fuck
Sep 04 18:51:33 <abba149> im the Celery stalker
Sep 04 18:51:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> dammit mibbit broke
Sep 04 18:53:19 <abba149> WHat about MY Bit?
Sep 04 18:53:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> >:(
Sep 04 18:54:09 <abba149> WHy is it a chicken
Sep 04 18:55:32 <abba149> NAO!
Sep 04 18:56:30 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has left #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:58:17 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 18:58:28 <abba149> this seems to be the only good room
Sep 04 18:59:27 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has left #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:01:16 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:01:43 * abba149 (Menalah@anon-E485B8F3.dyn.centurytel.net) has left #TrollParadise
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Sep 04 19:27:43 * BFFJILL (18d1da61@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:27:55 <BFFJILL> So whats happening now?
Sep 04 19:28:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> working on things
Sep 04 19:28:07 <BFFJILL> Ah
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Sep 04 19:30:45 * BFFJILL (18d1da61@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
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Sep 04 19:33:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hi
Sep 04 19:33:52 * mib_etzsu9 (440ca4d9@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
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Sep 04 19:34:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hi
Sep 04 19:34:07 <BFFJILL> Hey
Sep 04 19:34:24 * mib_bsrrrq (ad47d649@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:34:31 <mib_etzsu9> Hi.
Sep 04 19:34:40 <mib_bsrrrq> Whoa, there is one.
Sep 04 19:35:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hi
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Sep 04 19:35:49 * Doakes (ad47d649@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
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Sep 04 19:37:04 <Doakes> Soooo
Sep 04 19:37:09 <BFFJILL> What "papers" are clyde looking for?
Sep 04 19:37:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> the one
Sep 04 19:37:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> that proves his autism
Sep 04 19:37:35 <GodBear01|TextOnly> to find out
Sep 04 19:37:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> if Chris is retarded
Sep 04 19:37:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> or just really stupid
Sep 04 19:37:44 <Doakes> How is Clyde talking with u?
Sep 04 19:37:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Secret
Sep 04 19:38:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I aint saying shit
Sep 04 19:38:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I am telling you guys as a favor
Sep 04 19:38:15 <Doakes> OK, cool.
Sep 04 19:38:47 <BFFJILL> What time is it in Virginia?
Sep 04 19:38:57 <Doakes> 10:38
Sep 04 19:39:04 <Doakes> I'm in Virginia. :D
Sep 04 19:40:24 <fatniggo> how far from chris?
Sep 04 19:40:31 <GhostWriterL> Clyde better leave soon...
Sep 04 19:40:39 <BFFJILL> Sweet :D I wonder how much longer theyll let him stay their...
Sep 04 19:40:42 <GhostWriterL> He'll get the kitty aids
Sep 04 19:40:44 * mib_t85owr (18a19129@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:40:48 <Doakes> I'm on the other side of Virginia.
Sep 04 19:40:48 <fatniggo> D:
Sep 04 19:40:53 <Doakes> I knooooowwww
Sep 04 19:40:54 <fatniggo> near what state?
Sep 04 19:40:54 * mib_b3p960 (4cb15cd0@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:41:02 <mib_t85owr> what ahppened
Sep 04 19:41:11 <fatniggo> plz change ur name
Sep 04 19:41:15 <GhostWriterL> How do you know they haven't taken him hostage?
Sep 04 19:41:22 <mib_t85owr> how do i namechange
Sep 04 19:41:30 <mib_b3p960> ಠ_ಠ
Sep 04 19:41:42 <fatniggo> "/nick whatever"
Sep 04 19:41:46 * mib_t85owr is now known as durrrrrf
Sep 04 19:42:12 <durrrrrf> any new
Sep 04 19:42:14 <GhostWriterL> Niggo, we might need you to go on a rescue mission
Sep 04 19:42:18 <GhostWriterL> Get your pickle suit
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Sep 04 19:42:29 <fatniggo> but it's a 3 hour drrriiivveee
Sep 04 19:43:03 <Doakes> 2 hours. :P
Sep 04 19:43:36 <GodBear01|TextOnly> OH FUCK GUYS
Sep 04 19:43:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CLYDE NEEDS HELP
Sep 04 19:43:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WHO CAN GET DOWN THERE FAST
Sep 04 19:43:59 <BFFJILL> GIVE US INFORMATION MAN
Sep 04 19:43:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CLYDE IS IN DANGER OF BEING ARRESTED
Sep 04 19:44:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HE WENT IN ALONE
Sep 04 19:44:17 <BFFJILL> OH shit.. why?
Sep 04 19:44:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Because
Sep 04 19:44:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> they would ask questions
Sep 04 19:44:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He is disguised as a health agent
Sep 04 19:44:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> remember
Sep 04 19:44:51 <GhostWriterL> Oh shit, did they call the cops?
Sep 04 19:45:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No they are interrogating him
Sep 04 19:45:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He needs a ride
Sep 04 19:45:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Now
Sep 04 19:45:31 <GhostWriterL> NIGGO
Sep 04 19:45:31 <GhostWriterL> GO
Sep 04 19:45:33 * charles_charlemang (47b4b077@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:45:40 <Doakes> Dumbass needs to plan for this stuff. :l
Sep 04 19:45:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> WE NEED SOMEONE TO DRIVE TO CHRIS'S HOUSE
Sep 04 19:45:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HE DID PLAN
Sep 04 19:45:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> FOR 2 YEARS
Sep 04 19:45:55 <GhostWriterL> How the fuck did he get over there?
Sep 04 19:45:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HE FORGOT HOW TO GET OUT
Sep 04 19:45:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> BY BUS
Sep 04 19:45:59 <GhostWriterL> If he can't leave?
Sep 04 19:46:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> NO TRACES
Sep 04 19:46:01 <GhostWriterL> ...
Sep 04 19:46:07 <BFFJILL> .....
Sep 04 19:46:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I am not kidding
Sep 04 19:46:44 <BFFJILL> We need proof :/
Sep 04 19:46:46 * mib_o76q4j (4599110c@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:46:58 <GhostWriterL> It'd take me 2 days to get over there
Sep 04 19:47:16 <BFFJILL> I could run down there right now..If a reel patriot was in need........
Sep 04 19:47:24 <charles_charlemang> Evening TrollParadise.
Sep 04 19:47:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He is in need
Sep 04 19:47:28 <fatniggo> fuck..
Sep 04 19:47:37 <mib_o76q4j> good evening
Sep 04 19:47:45 <Doakes> I don't beleive a word of this.
Sep 04 19:47:51 <fatniggo> alright. I can go up US 29 N, but it will take me about 2 1/2 hours
Sep 04 19:48:02 <charles_charlemang> So the house is being inspected thoroughly?
Sep 04 19:48:22 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CLYDE IS FUCKED
Sep 04 19:48:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> SHIT
Sep 04 19:48:37 * ClydeCash (cash.c@anon-597A912E.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:48:53 <BFFJILL> Clyde :<
Sep 04 19:48:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CLYDE
Sep 04 19:48:56 <Doakes> No, he's right there.
Sep 04 19:48:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ARE YOU OK
Sep 04 19:49:05 <fatniggo> WTF?
Sep 04 19:49:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> THESE FAGGOTS WANT PROOF
Sep 04 19:49:09 <fatniggo> thank god i didn't go
Sep 04 19:49:11 <ClydeCash> Im fucking stranded
Sep 04 19:49:18 <charles_charlemang> Whats this all I'm hearing about on the DAMN INTERNET?
Sep 04 19:49:18 <ClydeCash> someone get me out of this dump
Sep 04 19:49:49 <ClydeCash> I need a ride, someone come get me
Sep 04 19:49:53 <BFFJILL> How are you on the internet?
Sep 04 19:50:02 <GodBear01|TextOnly> EVERYTHING HAS INTERNET
Sep 04 19:50:04 <Doakes> So you jack their compuer?
Sep 04 19:50:06 <mib_o76q4j> Where are you at?
Sep 04 19:50:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> BFFJILL, DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE IPHONE
Sep 04 19:50:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HURRRR
Sep 04 19:50:22 <ClydeCash> Chris let me use his.
Sep 04 19:50:33 <Doakes> Semen stains?
Sep 04 19:50:41 <charles_charlemang> Do you realize. Do you realize, that when you enter a house... that you can get trapped?
Sep 04 19:50:44 <ClydeCash> I'm trying not to think about it
Sep 04 19:50:48 <mib_o76q4j> ITS A TRAP
Sep 04 19:50:56 <ClydeCash> Someone fucking come get me
Sep 04 19:50:59 <BFFJILL> Clyde..Clyde...CLYDE!
Sep 04 19:50:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No its not
Sep 04 19:51:27 <GodBear01|TextOnly> he needs help
Sep 04 19:51:28 <fatniggo> clyde, it'll take me 2.5 to get there
Sep 04 19:51:44 <Doakes> How the hell did you get there?
Sep 04 19:52:00 <mib_o76q4j> Wait, Clyde your in Chris's house?
Sep 04 19:52:06 <ClydeCash> I don't care. I'll pay for gas
Sep 04 19:52:10 <ClydeCash> By bus
Sep 04 19:52:16 <ClydeCash> Then I walked
Sep 04 19:52:26 <charles_charlemang> Could you describe the odor of the residence?
Sep 04 19:52:28 <Doakes> Just walk out and back to he bus.
Sep 04 19:52:30 <charles_charlemang> Cat piss?
Sep 04 19:52:38 <ClydeCash> Buses don't run this late
Sep 04 19:52:41 <fatniggo> alright. PM me your cell number so I can call you when I get close
Sep 04 19:52:43 <mib_o76q4j> Go find Megan
Sep 04 19:52:51 * mib_h1flcp (18c51a72@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:52:54 <mib_o76q4j> She is trap in Chris's mirror
Sep 04 19:52:56 <ClydeCash> Thanks dude
Sep 04 19:53:07 * fatniggo (president.@anon-765D03EF.triad.res.rr.com) has left #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:53:08 <ClydeCash> No, Megan escaped
Sep 04 19:53:14 <ClydeCash> I didn't hear any screams for help
Sep 04 19:53:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fff
Sep 04 19:53:22 <GodBear01|TextOnly> clyde quit being stupid
Sep 04 19:53:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you could go to jail
Sep 04 19:53:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we both know megan was a bitch
Sep 04 19:53:38 <BFFJILL> How are you trapped clyde..Why dont you just like leave...
Sep 04 19:53:51 <ClydeCash> I don't have a ride
Sep 04 19:54:02 <charles_charlemang> Well, walk around the block.
Sep 04 19:54:20 <ClydeCash> I'm going to now that I have a ride
Sep 04 19:54:29 <charles_charlemang> But first
Sep 04 19:54:32 * lemmiwinks (president.@anon-765D03EF.triad.res.rr.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:54:34 <charles_charlemang> Share with us some experiences.
Sep 04 19:54:43 <mib_h1flcp> good
Sep 04 19:54:45 <charles_charlemang> What was the highlight of the evening?
Sep 04 19:54:47 <Doakes> Please do. Not enough evedince.
Sep 04 19:54:58 <Doakes> Did you look in their fridge?
Sep 04 19:55:02 * mib_cjfp3e (560ab845@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:55:04 <ClydeCash> I'll post evidence later
Sep 04 19:55:07 <mib_h1flcp> trsegtswegg
Sep 04 19:55:08 <lemmiwinks> hey
Sep 04 19:55:15 <mib_o76q4j> Go find blow up dool
Sep 04 19:55:16 <ClydeCash> Going now... I'm feeling sick
Sep 04 19:55:23 * ClydeCash has quit (client exited: )
Sep 04 19:55:24 <mib_h1flcp> I call shenanigans
Sep 04 19:55:26 <charles_charlemang> It couldn't be that bad.
Sep 04 19:55:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Its real
Sep 04 19:55:36 <charles_charlemang> Yeah, it seems like a 21st Century radio play.
Sep 04 19:55:42 * mib_o76q4j has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 19:55:50 <mib_h1flcp> whats the proof?
Sep 04 19:55:53 <Doakes> We'll see. Will something show up on /cwc/ sometime soon?
Sep 04 19:56:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> yes
Sep 04 19:56:15 * durrrrrf has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 19:56:16 * mib_h1flcp has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 19:56:17 <charles_charlemang> GodBear01 is the only GodBear01 and Muhammed his messenger. Pbuh. How was this setup?
Sep 04 19:56:34 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Well
Sep 04 19:56:39 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I have a song.
Sep 04 19:56:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Its the song
Sep 04 19:56:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I have
Sep 04 19:56:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> It goes something like this
Sep 04 19:57:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> its called
Sep 04 19:57:14 <GodBear01|TextOnly> "You guys are too fucking gullible and are the laughingstock of the trolling community"
Sep 04 19:57:18 * GodBear01|TextOnly sets mode +m #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:57:24 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel operator status to GhostWriterL
Sep 04 19:57:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :D
Sep 04 19:57:35 * GodBear01|TextOnly has changed the topic to: lolfaget
Sep 04 19:57:37 * lemmiwinks is now known as fatniggo
Sep 04 19:57:41 * GodBear01|TextOnly sets mode -m #TrollParadise
Sep 04 19:57:43 <BFFJILL> Good one!
Sep 04 19:57:52 <fatniggo> A Monkey ripped off the tires of my car, so i'm back
Sep 04 19:57:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I just got aids and died
Sep 04 19:58:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Happy.
Sep 04 19:58:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You guys are all idiots
Sep 04 19:58:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> boxes.
Sep 04 19:58:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fucking seriously?
Sep 04 19:58:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Phone calls?
Sep 04 19:58:22 <Doakes> Not me. That's gay.
Sep 04 19:58:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Boxxy references.
Sep 04 19:58:31 <Doakes> What?
Sep 04 19:58:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Your goddamn forums
Sep 04 19:58:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> has made /cwc/
Sep 04 19:58:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> which was the worst place for chris trolling
Sep 04 19:58:48 <charles_charlemang> Boxxy should be circumcised, blinded, publicly shamed and then summarily executed.
Sep 04 19:58:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> look
Sep 04 19:58:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> when trolling Chris
Sep 04 19:59:02 <GodBear01|TextOnly> it doesn't involve memes
Sep 04 19:59:02 <Doakes> What is Boxxy?
Sep 04 19:59:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and it doesn't involve
Sep 04 19:59:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> doing shit like
Sep 04 19:59:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> "OH LOL GAIS WE ARE COOL WE ARE LEGI0N"
Sep 04 19:59:35 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Thats the shit I've seen from the goddamn forum
Sep 04 19:59:39 <Doakes> Wait, is this a bunch of 4chan faggots here?
Sep 04 19:59:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Wait us?
Sep 04 19:59:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No
Sep 04 19:59:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ED forum
Sep 04 19:59:48 <Doakes> Good
Sep 04 19:59:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> probably.
Sep 04 19:59:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Fuck 4chan
Sep 04 19:59:55 <charles_charlemang> "Anonymous" died sometime around early 2007, what's the deal with that?
Sep 04 19:59:58 * mib_cjfp3e has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:00:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah
Sep 04 20:00:04 <fatniggo> lol
Sep 04 20:00:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> but
Sep 04 20:00:08 <charles_charlemang> Why do they continue to behave a particular way?
Sep 04 20:00:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> some of you
Sep 04 20:00:09 <Doakes> I post there becaue I have nolife. I hate all these dmn Guy Fawes fags.
Sep 04 20:00:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Well
Sep 04 20:00:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Doakes
Sep 04 20:00:19 * PokerFace (4512e9da@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:00:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you don't have to be like that
Sep 04 20:00:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> POKERFACE
Sep 04 20:00:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU ESPECIALLY
Sep 04 20:00:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> AND YOUR PLANS
Sep 04 20:00:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> GODDAMMIT
Sep 04 20:00:32 <PokerFace> Huh?
Sep 04 20:00:37 <Doakes> He hates you.
Sep 04 20:00:37 <PokerFace> WHAT THE HELL!?
Sep 04 20:00:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Doakes you are cool
Sep 04 20:00:45 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel half-operator status to Doakes
Sep 04 20:00:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> have fun
Sep 04 20:00:53 <charles_charlemang> Memes aren't funny. The only one I found funny was on 7chan a long time ago and it was Orville Reddenbacher's face and DOES IT FEED on top of that.
Sep 04 20:01:10 <PokerFace> Well what the hell was I supposed to think when I was suddenly banned when I said: TROLLS TROLLING TROLS
Sep 04 20:01:11 <charles_charlemang> I cannot stand 4chan these days.
Sep 04 20:01:12 * GhostWriterL has kicked charles_charlemang from #TrollParadise (MEMES AREN'T FUNNY)
Sep 04 20:01:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Doakes
Sep 04 20:01:22 * charles_charlemang (47b4b077@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:01:27 <Doakes> I'm not that much of an internet guy, actually. I'm a closet nerd.
Sep 04 20:01:29 >doakes< join #legi0n
Sep 04 20:01:48 <Doakes> Wait, was that a beep beep I just heard? Whaaaaaa
Sep 04 20:01:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Doakes I like you
Sep 04 20:01:59 <charles_charlemang> Doakes are you running Linux?
Sep 04 20:02:06 <Doakes> Nope, Firefox.
Sep 04 20:02:16 <PokerFace> Okay, so update me here because I'm getting mixed info from many sources from Clyde isn't there and that this is bullshit.
Sep 04 20:02:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YEP
Sep 04 20:02:23 <Doakes> It was BS.
Sep 04 20:02:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Well
Sep 04 20:02:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> it was more or less
Sep 04 20:02:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> a wake up call
Sep 04 20:02:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Because those forums suck.
Sep 04 20:02:44 <PokerFace> What ED?
Sep 04 20:02:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> yep
Sep 04 20:02:50 <charles_charlemang> I idle in #sonichu.
Sep 04 20:02:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> as who
Sep 04 20:02:56 <charles_charlemang> Though I hate those faggots.
Sep 04 20:03:01 <charles_charlemang> I won't disclose.
Sep 04 20:03:08 * SpookyCupcakes (63f7c8e0@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:03:24 <fatniggo> spookycupcakes
Sep 04 20:03:25 <PokerFace> So then, you were just trying to get us riled up eh?
Sep 04 20:03:27 <Doakes> I've just recently discovered CWC. He's what drew me to the ED forms, actually.
Sep 04 20:03:40 <SpookyCupcakes> Well if you have to resort to trolling the trolls, that means that you guys suck harder
Sep 04 20:03:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> No
Sep 04 20:03:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> We weren't necessarily trolling you
Sep 04 20:03:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> If we were
Sep 04 20:04:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> one of you would have driven down there
Sep 04 20:04:11 <Doakes> And by th way, what does trolling mean exactly? It's like being mean to someone, right?
Sep 04 20:04:17 <fatniggo> D:
Sep 04 20:04:20 * mib_6e0mnq (4599110c@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:04:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you are vtec aren't you
Sep 04 20:04:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> charles_charlemang, You are vtec
Sep 04 20:04:36 <PokerFace> Oh contraire sir. You was trollin.
Sep 04 20:04:36 <GhostWriterL> Trolling is fishing for reactions from people
Sep 04 20:04:38 <charles_charlemang> I will not answer that.
Sep 04 20:04:40 <BFFJILL> Me-Me's are cancer...Unneeded cells that are continuosly multiplying....
Sep 04 20:04:40 <SpookyCupcakes> trolling = trying to make a person believe false info
Sep 04 20:04:47 <SpookyCupcakes> that means you are trolls
Sep 04 20:04:52 <SpookyCupcakes> trolling trolls
Sep 04 20:04:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> hmm
Sep 04 20:04:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Stickmans
Sep 04 20:05:05 <fatniggo> cupcakes, why is your name so familiar
Sep 04 20:05:06 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel operator status to fatniggo
Sep 04 20:05:09 <Doakes> I am so confuesd.
Sep 04 20:05:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Because he's the guy who wanted to send boxes
Sep 04 20:05:15 <charles_charlemang> There are many ways to troll, that is one.
Sep 04 20:05:19 <PokerFace> Though /cwc/ is still a reputable sight
Sep 04 20:05:21 <GhostWriterL> Microphones are hard
Sep 04 20:05:22 <fatniggo> ooh, ok.
Sep 04 20:05:34 <SpookyCupcakes> dont resort to trolling the trolls to get attention, thats called being a newfag
Sep 04 20:05:34 <charles_charlemang> ~/cwc/ is not reputable.
Sep 04 20:05:38 <PokerFace> This was a waste of time and would have been GREAT had it been real.
Sep 04 20:05:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Thats the point
Sep 04 20:05:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you guys believe anything
Sep 04 20:05:51 <charles_charlemang> SpoonyCupcakes used the word "newfag".
Sep 04 20:05:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> well
Sep 04 20:06:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I dont give a fuck
Sep 04 20:06:07 <PokerFace> Course not.
Sep 04 20:06:08 <SpookyCupcakes> I didn't even believe it past 30 seconds
Sep 04 20:06:13 <PokerFace> you're THE GOD BEAR
Sep 04 20:06:15 * fatniggo has kicked mib_6e0mnq from #TrollParadise (CHANGE YOUR GATDAM NAME)
Sep 04 20:06:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah I am
Sep 04 20:06:24 <Doakes> What's a newfag, again?
Sep 04 20:06:25 * fatniggo has kicked mib_etzsu9 from #TrollParadise (YOU TOO FAGGOT)
Sep 04 20:06:27 <SpookyCupcakes> you
Sep 04 20:06:33 <SpookyCupcakes> ban me, faggots
Sep 04 20:06:35 <Doakes> Prolly
Sep 04 20:06:36 <GhostWriterL> Ohshi-
Sep 04 20:06:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> no
Sep 04 20:06:39 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I don't ban
Sep 04 20:06:41 * GhostWriterL sets ban on *!*@anon-19865473.mibbit.com
Sep 04 20:06:43 <GhostWriterL> k
Sep 04 20:06:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> FUCK YOU
Sep 04 20:06:47 * GodBear01|TextOnly removes ban on *!*@anon-19865473.mibbit.com
Sep 04 20:06:48 <fatniggo> lol
Sep 04 20:06:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> NO BAN
Sep 04 20:06:49 <fatniggo> LOL
Sep 04 20:06:51 <Doakes> I don't go on 4chan, so I don't k this stuff
Sep 04 20:06:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Thats fine
Sep 04 20:06:58 <GodBear01|TextOnly> doakes i like you
Sep 04 20:06:58 <fatniggo> Spooky, you're the box guy?
Sep 04 20:07:02 <SpookyCupcakes> `/cwc/ is for fags
Sep 04 20:07:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you don't seem like a super fag
Sep 04 20:07:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> SpookyCupcakes, LOL
Sep 04 20:07:15 <Doakes> I just keep it real. B)
Sep 04 20:07:33 <PokerFace> .....
Sep 04 20:07:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> PokerFace
Sep 04 20:07:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> quit being hated
Sep 04 20:07:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Plz
Sep 04 20:07:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I do this for your own good.
Sep 04 20:07:58 * GhostWriterL has changed the topic to: lolfaget | <%Doakes> I just keep it real. B)
Sep 04 20:07:59 <Doakes> So what do you guys think about the no internet thing. Real, or is he just not making vids?
Sep 04 20:08:04 <GodBear01|TextOnly> eh
Sep 04 20:08:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> other shit happens
Sep 04 20:08:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> its all in #sonichu
Sep 04 20:08:14 <PokerFace> Uh huh...sorry if I'm skeptic.
Sep 04 20:08:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we just like to fuck around with you guys
Sep 04 20:08:21 * SomeGuySomewhere (440ca4d9@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:08:24 <Doakes> Too damn cool
Sep 04 20:08:32 <SomeGuySomewhere> Back.
Sep 04 20:08:54 <fatniggo> spooky, you ever figure out how to record phone convos
Sep 04 20:08:55 * BFFROSECHU (18d1da61@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:08:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously.
Sep 04 20:09:03 * BFFROSECHU has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:09:10 <PokerFace> Right, well good luck with your endeavors. Regardless what your opinion of ED is, you guys still do fine trolling. but this lolcow is just about dried up.
Sep 04 20:09:17 * PokerFace has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:09:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> lolno
Sep 04 20:09:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> far from it
Sep 04 20:09:27 <SpookyCupcakes> Right, well good luck with your endeavors. Regardless what your opinion of ED is, you guys still do fine trolling. but this lolcow is just about dried up.
Sep 04 20:09:29 * SpookyCupcakes has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:09:30 <Doakes> I hope he dies or something.
Sep 04 20:09:32 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Doakes
Sep 04 20:09:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> here
Sep 04 20:09:48 <BFFJILL> This is like a lolmilktruck... It always finds cows...
Sep 04 20:09:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=53c027be90707773b4398de31aa77d09&server=irc.netchan.org&channel=%23legi0n
Sep 04 20:09:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> go there
Sep 04 20:10:04 <Doakes> I don't follow links anymore.
Sep 04 20:10:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Its a chat
Sep 04 20:10:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you went to this one
Sep 04 20:10:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :/
Sep 04 20:10:24 * mib_4krpqb (ae178a12@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:10:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> charles_charlemang
Sep 04 20:10:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :3
Sep 04 20:10:34 <Doakes> Oh well. Volume all the way down, preparing for Last asure
Sep 04 20:10:46 <Doakes> Or not
Sep 04 20:10:53 * charles_charlemang has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:11:07 <Doakes> Someones using my name. :l
Sep 04 20:11:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> lol
Sep 04 20:11:13 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you are using your name
Sep 04 20:11:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> try doakes2
Sep 04 20:11:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and exit out of here
Sep 04 20:11:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> we will teach you how to irc
Sep 04 20:11:26 <Doakes> OK.
Sep 04 20:11:29 * Doakes has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:11:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> anyway
Sep 04 20:11:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> the rest of you
Sep 04 20:13:28 * mib_sb14z4 (c8489216@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:14:12 * charles_charlemang (47b4b077@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:14:19 * mib_4krpqb has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:15:03 <mib_sb14z4> .
Sep 04 20:16:01 * charles_charlemang has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:16:06 <BFFJILL> So why should we got to the link?
Sep 04 20:16:19 * fatniggo has kicked mib_sb14z4 from #TrollParadise (CHANGE YOUR NAME BITCH)
Sep 04 20:16:22 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I don't care if you do
Sep 04 20:16:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I don't care if you dont
Sep 04 20:16:30 * mib_o36kus (560ab845@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:16:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :/
Sep 04 20:18:22 <BFFJILL> Oh BTW GodBear01 you win at life for what you just did :D
Sep 04 20:18:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :3
Sep 04 20:18:37 * mib_o36kus has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:18:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You understand my rage right
Sep 04 20:18:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> They were acting like faggots
Sep 04 20:18:55 <BFFJILL> Yes
Sep 04 20:19:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> also
Sep 04 20:19:03 <GodBear01|TextOnly> change your name
Sep 04 20:19:12 <BFFJILL> K
Sep 04 20:19:27 * BFFJILL is now known as Wutsyourname
Sep 04 20:19:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> uh
Sep 04 20:19:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> not here
Sep 04 20:19:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> in legi0n
Sep 04 20:20:10 * fffffffffff (c8489216@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:20:26 <Wutsyourname> oh..Lol..
Sep 04 20:20:38 * Wutsyourname is now known as BFFJILL
Sep 04 20:21:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah
Sep 04 20:21:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look I hate stupid people almost as much as I hate furries, Deviantarts, and Chris
Sep 04 20:21:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> There is a difference
Sep 04 20:21:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> between being a faggot
Sep 04 20:21:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and being a troll
Sep 04 20:22:19 <BFFJILL> Yeah, being a Troll means being clever not constantly spamming.
Sep 04 20:22:39 <BFFJILL> It pisses the hell out of me.
Sep 04 20:23:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Chris is an lolcow
Sep 04 20:23:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> he is only dried up
Sep 04 20:23:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> because faggots like PokerFace
Sep 04 20:23:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> do repetitive shit like that
Sep 04 20:23:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> then he goes into hiding
Sep 04 20:23:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and does nothing but little big planet
Sep 04 20:23:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and lurking
Sep 04 20:23:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> is for faggots
Sep 04 20:23:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you want to participate
Sep 04 20:23:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you have to talk
Sep 04 20:24:04 <BFFJILL> Chris does a good enough job, trolling himself..
Sep 04 20:24:22 <GhostWriterL> People don't need to constantly spam call his house
Sep 04 20:24:34 <GhostWriterL> Just wait for the next video to pop up
Sep 04 20:25:28 <GhostWriterL> Who the hell thinks transcripts with no recordings is at all funny anyway?
Sep 04 20:25:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Chris does troll himself
Sep 04 20:25:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously
Sep 04 20:25:50 <GhostWriterL> HEY I CALLED CHRIS AND HERE IS WHAT HE SAID
Sep 04 20:25:58 <GhostWriterL> Chris: OMG I HAET U GUYZ
Sep 04 20:25:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> "DURRFF HURFF CHRIS"
Sep 04 20:26:02 <GhostWriterL> LOL THAT'S FUNNY RIGHT
Sep 04 20:26:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> CHRIS: OMG UT ROLLZ
Sep 04 20:26:07 <BFFJILL> "PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE AUGGGHHHHH"
Sep 04 20:26:21 <BFFJILL> YEAH THAST FUCKING HILLARIOUUSSS!!!?""""""...DESU
Sep 04 20:26:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously
Sep 04 20:26:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Those forums
Sep 04 20:26:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> are /b/
Sep 04 20:26:53 <GodBear01|TextOnly> its /b/ no matter how you look at it
Sep 04 20:26:56 <GhostWriterL> HAY BOB, I HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO UZ
Sep 04 20:26:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> All it is
Sep 04 20:27:01 <GhostWriterL> DESU DESU LOLZ
Sep 04 20:27:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> are a bunch of people
Sep 04 20:27:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> trying to be big boy trolls
Sep 04 20:27:12 <GhostWriterL> OLD MAN BOB IS ANGRY I'M SO CLEVER
Sep 04 20:27:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Bob is cool
Sep 04 20:27:22 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Sep 04 20:27:28 <BFFJILL> Yeah bobs ok,
Sep 04 20:27:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He is a man who should be left to his peace
Sep 04 20:27:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He has to deal with his fucking son
Sep 04 20:27:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> He doesn't need to deal with the entire internet
Sep 04 20:27:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Goddamn 82 years old
Sep 04 20:27:52 <BFFJILL> Thats like... God trolling him.
Sep 04 20:27:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously
Sep 04 20:27:57 <GhostWriterL> True, but the guy shouldn't have let his house get so filthy
Sep 04 20:27:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Leave Bob alone.
Sep 04 20:28:08 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Bob is a good man.
Sep 04 20:28:12 <fffffffffff> Hi
Sep 04 20:28:12 <GhostWriterL> So I don't have much sympathy for the whole health department thing, IF that's what happened
Sep 04 20:28:23 <GhostWriterL> Again, no one has actual proof that anyone has gone to that house and done anything
Sep 04 20:28:27 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Seriously
Sep 04 20:28:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Even then
Sep 04 20:28:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you guys are out of the loop
Sep 04 20:29:15 <GhostWriterL> It's pretty ridiculous that people are trying to get Chris to bait himself to religious zealots too
Sep 04 20:29:48 <GhostWriterL> "hay guyz let's get him to shit on a qua'ran!"
Sep 04 20:30:09 <fffffffffff> i doubt that thing ever gonna happen
Sep 04 20:30:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> It doesn't stop people
Sep 04 20:30:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> from speaking every little fucking thing
Sep 04 20:30:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> on their mind
Sep 04 20:30:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> And thinking they are a amazing troll
Sep 04 20:30:31 <BFFJILL> It really pisses me off when they long onto his youtube account....
Sep 04 20:30:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah and post gay porn
Sep 04 20:30:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> thats fucking retarded
Sep 04 20:30:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> to get him banned
Sep 04 20:30:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> then we don't get videos
Sep 04 20:31:02 <BFFJILL> Then we have to find him again...
Sep 04 20:31:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> yeah
Sep 04 20:31:10 <fffffffffff> everione wants is internet five minutes
Sep 04 20:31:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and he takes forever to do shit
Sep 04 20:31:11 <GhostWriterL> Nothing about any of this pisses me off, honestly. It's just over the top and stupid
Sep 04 20:31:21 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Also
Sep 04 20:31:23 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I trolled everyone
Sep 04 20:31:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I am awesome
Sep 04 20:31:36 <BFFJILL> Yes kudos to you :D
Sep 04 20:31:51 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I still can't believe anyone believe it
Sep 04 20:31:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> *believed it
Sep 04 20:32:28 <BFFJILL> I know... I did too, well for awhile till
Sep 04 20:32:37 <GodBear01|TextOnly> The trapped part
Sep 04 20:32:44 <BFFJILL> "clyde" said he was trapped and you started ALL CAPSING
Sep 04 20:32:50 <BFFJILL> Yeah
Sep 04 20:33:19 <GhostWriterL> I admit I thought someone had gone over to the Chandler house
Sep 04 20:33:35 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I used to like ED
Sep 04 20:33:37 <GhostWriterL> But then they stayed for over 2 hours and it was pretty obvious it was fake
Sep 04 20:33:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> but then they lost it
Sep 04 20:33:45 <GhostWriterL> ED's good for a laugh
Sep 04 20:34:01 <GhostWriterL> A lof of the articles I wrote though have been made retarded
Sep 04 20:34:08 <GhostWriterL> Sonic-cide used to be epic
Sep 04 20:34:15 <BFFJILL> Now its just me-me' about how me-me' suck
Sep 04 20:34:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah
Sep 04 20:34:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> It is about meme's
Sep 04 20:34:28 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Its becoming more about
Sep 04 20:34:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Money
Sep 04 20:34:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and advertising
Sep 04 20:34:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and shit like that
Sep 04 20:34:35 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look
Sep 04 20:34:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Trolling is about
Sep 04 20:34:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fucking with people
Sep 04 20:34:51 <GodBear01|TextOnly> not making a buck or two or trying to be e-popular
Sep 04 20:34:55 <BFFJILL> Oh but Me-Me's are bad, unless their Me-Me's that WE made...
Sep 04 20:34:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> people are forgetting this
Sep 04 20:34:58 <GhostWriterL> P-p-p-powerbook was fucking hilarious
Sep 04 20:35:04 <GhostWriterL> THAT was epic trolling
Sep 04 20:35:06 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I have one meme
Sep 04 20:35:09 <GodBear01|TextOnly> its called fizzy drinks
Sep 04 20:35:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> thats it
Sep 04 20:35:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> http://www.nvhforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=4669&view=previous
Sep 04 20:35:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Here
Sep 04 20:35:28 <fffffffffff> cool
Sep 04 20:35:46 <GhostWriterL> ED is kind of impressive, though...
Sep 04 20:35:57 <GhostWriterL> It's amazing how many of them still obsess over SnapeSnogger
Sep 04 20:36:32 <fffffffffff> thats mayybe bacose a lot of Ediot are Tartalets too
Sep 04 20:36:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Fuck
Sep 04 20:37:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look I love the Chris-chan trolling userbase
Sep 04 20:37:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> all of them are intelligent and know what they are doing
Sep 04 20:37:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ED is a abomination
Sep 04 20:38:18 <GhostWriterL> ED is a wiki, it just happens to attract people that want to be famous by contributing to it
Sep 04 20:38:31 <GhostWriterL> So they clusterfuck everything
Sep 04 20:38:45 * mib_q11hu1 (792c1dfe@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:38:50 * mib_q11hu1 has quit (client exited: mib_q11hu1)
Sep 04 20:39:14 <GhostWriterL> It's like those gartersnakes during mating season
Sep 04 20:39:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Yeah
Sep 04 20:39:26 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look if you want more lolcows
Sep 04 20:39:27 <GodBear01|TextOnly> make them
Sep 04 20:39:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> FInd them
Sep 04 20:39:32 <GodBear01|TextOnly> most of them are on ED
Sep 04 20:39:33 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I mean
Sep 04 20:39:35 <fffffffffff> hahaha being a troll is a new fashion
Sep 04 20:39:36 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Deviantart
Sep 04 20:39:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> there are
Sep 04 20:39:47 <GodBear01|TextOnly> a shit load of lolcows
Sep 04 20:39:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> But people
Sep 04 20:39:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> want to chose to troll the ones everyone knows about
Sep 04 20:39:57 <GhostWriterL> I flamed LaraDarkAngel on DA.
Sep 04 20:40:16 <GodBear01|TextOnly> troll isn't a fashion
Sep 04 20:40:22 <BFFJILL> That way they are cool, and awesome.
Sep 04 20:40:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> wut
Sep 04 20:40:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look if everyone starts calling themselves a hacker and a troll
Sep 04 20:40:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I will shoot myself
Sep 04 20:41:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> But at the same time
Sep 04 20:41:06 <fffffffffff> thats is what is happening
Sep 04 20:41:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> it makes them open
Sep 04 20:41:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fffffffffff, what do you mean
Sep 04 20:41:29 <GhostWriterL> It's the new way to be edgey and cool
Sep 04 20:41:46 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I've been doing it for like 3 years
Sep 04 20:41:46 <fffffffffff> every kid in the internet want tobe a cool b asemet dweler
Sep 04 20:41:47 <GhostWriterL> "I piss people off on the internet. I'm badass and must have a great life outside of a computer"
Sep 04 20:42:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look
Sep 04 20:42:15 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I fuck with people on /cwc/
Sep 04 20:42:17 <GodBear01|TextOnly> for a reason
Sep 04 20:42:20 <GodBear01|TextOnly> too damn serious
Sep 04 20:43:01 <BFFJILL> I actually dont troll... I like to watch trolls because ill admit.. I would SUCK as a troll i have no good ideas..I just dont like it when the people who have no troll skill try to troll and kill the fun..
Sep 04 20:43:19 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I don't have good ideas either
Sep 04 20:43:24 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I just caps lock alot
Sep 04 20:43:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> and i happen to be a good troll
Sep 04 20:44:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> But explain
Sep 04 20:44:18 <GodBear01|TextOnly> how trolling is becoming a fashion
Sep 04 20:44:27 <fffffffffff> well is not that dificul i mean everyone is in the internet for some kind of validation
Sep 04 20:44:42 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I want to be the greatest troll ever.
Sep 04 20:44:44 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :3
Sep 04 20:44:47 * Big (47c5611d@anon-19865473.mibbit.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:44:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> And I think I will do it.
Sep 04 20:44:55 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Like bloodninja good
Sep 04 20:45:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Thats all i want.
Sep 04 20:45:08 * Big has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
Sep 04 20:45:09 <fffffffffff> i put my wizzar hat and my robe
Sep 04 20:45:17 <GhostWriterL> I troll a forum I go to regularly, but I target drama queens and attention whores, not retards with poor impulse control
Sep 04 20:45:43 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look
Sep 04 20:45:51 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Trolling will never be a fashion
Sep 04 20:46:52 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Also if I sound pretenious
Sep 04 20:46:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> LOLOL
Sep 04 20:46:55 <fffffffffff> that is what they say abbout punk and now we have pop/punk
Sep 04 20:46:58 <BFFJILL> Real trolling wont ever be a fashion.. But "trolling" is
Sep 04 20:47:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Real trolling is fun as hell
Sep 04 20:47:11 <GodBear01|TextOnly> "trolling" is boring and childish
Sep 04 20:47:20 <BFFJILL> Yes
Sep 04 20:47:34 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Look the differences is like how you will see yourself in 2 years
Sep 04 20:47:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> You will kick yourself
Sep 04 20:47:45 <GodBear01|TextOnly> over stupid shit
Sep 04 20:47:49 <GodBear01|TextOnly> that you thought was funny
Sep 04 20:48:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> well
Sep 04 20:48:05 <GodBear01|TextOnly> im kickbanningeveryone
Sep 04 20:48:07 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fuck this channel
Sep 04 20:48:13 * GodBear01|TextOnly sets ban on *!*@*
Sep 04 20:48:18 * GodBear01|TextOnly has kicked BFFJILL from #TrollParadise (GodBear01|TextOnly)
Sep 04 20:48:22 * GodBear01|TextOnly has kicked fffffffffff from #TrollParadise (GodBear01|TextOnly)
Sep 04 20:48:24 * GodBear01|TextOnly has kicked SomeGuySomewhere from #TrollParadise (GodBear01|TextOnly)
Sep 04 20:48:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> so
Sep 04 20:48:29 <GodBear01|TextOnly> fatniggo,
Sep 04 20:48:31 <GodBear01|TextOnly> you there
Sep 04 20:48:34 <fatniggo> yes sir
Sep 04 20:48:36 <GodBear01|TextOnly> kik
Sep 04 20:48:38 <GodBear01|TextOnly> lol
Sep 04 20:48:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> i ban everyone
Sep 04 20:48:45 <fatniggo> lol
Sep 04 20:48:46 <fatniggo> that was random
Sep 04 20:48:54 <GodBear01|TextOnly> well i just set wildcard
Sep 04 20:48:57 <GodBear01|TextOnly> so it wont let
Sep 04 20:48:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> anyone in
Sep 04 20:49:02 <GodBear01|TextOnly> here try
Sep 04 20:49:05 * GodBear01|TextOnly has kicked fatniggo from #TrollParadise (GodBear01|TextOnly)
Sep 04 20:49:18 * You've invited fatniggo to #TrollParadise (yume.ncirc)
Sep 04 20:49:18 * GodBear01|TextOnly invited fatniggo into the channel.
Sep 04 20:49:19 * fatniggo (president.@anon-765D03EF.triad.res.rr.com) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 20:49:23 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel operator status to fatniggo
Sep 04 20:49:25 <GodBear01|TextOnly> cool huh
Sep 04 20:49:28 <fatniggo> lol yeah
Sep 04 21:43:39 * You've invited CEO to #TrollParadise (yume.ncirc)
Sep 04 21:43:39 * GodBear01|TextOnly invited CEO into the channel.
Sep 04 21:46:20 * CEO (CEO@kkk.kkk) has joined #TrollParadise
Sep 04 21:46:59 * GodBear01|TextOnly gives channel operator status to CEO
Sep 04 21:47:01 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HERRO
Sep 04 21:48:43 <CEO> thats better
Sep 04 21:48:48 <GodBear01|TextOnly> YOU MISS PARTY
Sep 04 21:48:50 <GodBear01|TextOnly> I SET BAN ON
Sep 04 21:48:56 <GodBear01|TextOnly> *!*@*
Sep 04 21:48:59 <GodBear01|TextOnly> :D
Sep 04 21:49:06 <CEO> I noticed
Sep 04 21:49:28 * GodBear01|TextOnly removes ban on *!*@*
Sep 04 21:49:30 <GodBear01|TextOnly> Happy
Sep 04 21:49:34 <CEO> no
Sep 04 21:49:39 <CEO> never again
Sep 04 21:50:00 <GodBear01|TextOnly> D:
Sep 04 21:50:10 <GodBear01|TextOnly> u haet me
Sep 04 21:50:12 <GodBear01|TextOnly> ;_;
Sep 04 21:52:05 * GhostWriterL has changed the topic to: lolfaget | <%Doakes> I just keep it real. B) | RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
Sep 04 21:52:38 * GodBear01|TextOnly removes channel operator status from GhostWriterL
Sep 04 21:52:40 <GodBear01|TextOnly> THERE
Sep 04 21:52:41 <GodBear01|TextOnly> HAPPY
</pre>

== It isn't the cesspool you depict it as ==

The recent posters seem to be knowledgeable. However, the place has gotten slow. Maybe the lamers left. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 11:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*I'm sure it's just the right level for you. Go, frolic. Seriously, get the fuck out. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 15:36, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

== Merge with Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

The subject of this article seems really insignificant; if Chris hadn't talked about this forum in [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|a video]] it wouldn't even warrant a mention on our website. I think that except for the first and third paragraph all of this article has no value to the CWCki's goal of documenting Chris. I suggest we include a brief mention of the forum in the article on ED and do away with rest of this article. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 07:22, 28 June 2012 (PDT)
: Two-year late reply, but I have to heavily agree here. I think this article is needlessly inflammatory and insulting. While it might have been a festering cesspool of spergery, it doesn't warrant such a blindly slating article (or even an article at all) by any stretch. A section on the ED article would probably be far, far better than the article as it stands. Barely anything pipes to it anyway. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 04:35, 8 May 2014 (UTC)

Bob Chandler

2014-05-08T00:31:18Z

DX10: /* Cause of Death */

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|It was an interesting life I had.|Bob, at peace.}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
Mr. C
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]] (aged 84)
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 [[September 2011]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/4th [[Cherokee]]<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>)
|-
| '''Marriage'''
| Patricia (c.1960-????) 
[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Weston]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| Dr. David Alan Chandler 
Carol Suzanne Chandler 
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Grandchildren'''
| [[Savannah Chandler]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (father) Jean Holloman (mother)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]- 6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) was the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]];<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> his nickname, "The [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob was still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]]. This is due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in his life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was unfazed by these attempts.

Much of the information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.

Bob died on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Bob is presumably spending the afterlife in [[Chris and religion|that great Klan rally in the sky]] - cutting down the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] of other blessed souls, but also taking the time to haunt the [[Dreams|dreams]] of Chris's [[Trolls|enemies]], aided by his [[Patti Chandler|dead hell hound.]]

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref> He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-BZM</ref>-27 December 1977<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/FG5R-6M6</ref>), an Insurance Agent from Alabama, and Jean Holloman (1906<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/H5S7-12M</ref>-10 May 1945<ref>https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JK33-QW8</ref>), a Housewife from Texas.<ref>http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg</ref>

Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the [[1930s]]. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/>

===Service and education===
Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.).<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===
Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] as an engineer for forty years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon".<ref name="Barbara" />

Examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water container molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.<ref name="About" />

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

Politically, Bob was identified as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/> With that being said, in the time leading to the [[wikipedia:Virginia gubernatorial election, 2009|Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009]], Bob had misgivings about [[wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]], the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything]]</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Later life and poor health===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]

Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He never really had people to chat with (he loved to ramble if the person showed some slight interest), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse.<ref name="PSN 37" /> With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob had had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wore an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him.<ref name="Prank calls"/> He attributed his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at Burger King daily.

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]". Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob had been the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only comes out [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Congenital Heart Failure|Congenital Heart Failure]]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you."Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was half right.

A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.

On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproved of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris, now in his [[Tomgirl Saga|cross-dressing phase]], [[Response to ADF|mentioned that Bob was an ill and sickly shut-in]], and had [[Chris and English|"feet-bloatings"]].

In early September, 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. [[Rocky Shoemaker call|It was discovered later]] that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was [[14 Branchland Court|covered in bug bites]] and he posed a contamination risk.

On 6 September 2011, Bob died at age 84.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref> Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".<ref name="BobObit" />

==Cause of Death==
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the [[trolls]] were responsible for Bob's death. In an [[Misc_E-mails|email]] leaked on 22 [[March 2014]], Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those we all face in our lifetime, like burying a family member) on trolls.
{{quote|AND the total [[stress]] KILLED my Father Prematurely; if not for those Trolls, he would still be alive, and would have likely lived beyond 2015.|Chris.}}
This displays more staggering ignorance and pig-headedness on Chris's part; instead of facing up to the fact his father died due to complications of his age and previous conditions, he blames it on those danged dirty trolls, and in turn, redirects it to himself since said trolls are after him. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes rather than just plain bad luck, Chris doesn't do this and instead feigns doing so in order to play the dang-dirty-trolls sympathy card once again, just like he has numerous times and will likely continue to do.

==Obituary==
Both [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:

* Text going into [[autism|unusual detail]] about what Bob did at General Electric.
* The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] counsels Chris from.
* A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to [[Chris and money|donate money to Barbara and Chris]].

===Original text===
[[Image:Rip internet lumberack by vekke.png|thumb|May you always watch over our sweet autist.]]
:''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.''

:''He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.''

:''He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.''

:''He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.''

:''Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.''

:''A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.''

:''Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler. <ref name="BobObit" />

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob was previously married to a woman named Patricia.<ref name="BobObit" /> She's most likely the mother of his two other children, [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], with whom he was both out of contact in his later years.<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Savannah_chandler3.png</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops," <ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> but it is unknown if he has yet to as of 9 September 2011. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet! I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thought (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, [[Chris and health#hygiene|rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks]] (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls had communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob had reportedly explained to him that he had taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father was ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris would run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his Ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his Ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seemed to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that, or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He would never get past that notion, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref> Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on.

In [[December 2012]], Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the rare moments where Chris actually honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in [[September 2011]].

==Audio and video appearances==

[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: In his final outing on the damn internet, Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.
* [[Prank calls]]: Bob answered several of these.
* [[Facebook#A_Christmas_Gift|1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon]]: Bob appeared as the host and a performer in this soundtrack. The link provided by Chris is currently dead, however.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob wouldn't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob wasn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoyed gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
File:Bob2.png|Last known photo.
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bob
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cyMoams7EMw}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2011
| Maker = TheSevenRiders
| Subject = ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]''
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tribute to Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajEN2zrY8cQ}}
| Stardate = 11 September 2011
| Maker = 8x13Wolf
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = RIP Bob Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tyoboaDCJ0s}}
| Stardate = 29 September 2011
| Maker = furnacewoodsband
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sources==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Dead]]

User talk:IwegalBadnik

2014-05-07T15:55:03Z

DX10: /* Capitalization correction on the Chris article */ new section

i'm so calling the cops on you nigger --[[User:Espanolic|Espanolic]] 09:55, 6 September 2010 (PDT)

==Sept. 6==
Righto, didn't catch that error. Thanks. [[User:CompyRex|CompyRex]] 20:56, 10 September 2011 (PDT)

== Monthly tugboat ==

Heh, thanks for catching that. [[User:Barry|Barry]] 15:36, 29 October 2011 (PDT)

== Capitalization correction on the Chris article ==

Thanks, I must have blanked the shift key there. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 15:55, 7 May 2014 (UTC)

Christian Weston Chandler

2014-05-07T01:15:17Z

DX10: Using 'né' then adding 'on <birthdate>' afterwards doesn't work correctly. 'born' works just as well. If it was simply "Christian Weston Chandler (né Christopher)" etc it'd be fine, but with "on" and the birthdate it becomes grammatically incorrect.

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 32)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (Born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-two-year-old, former (allegedly) [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Christian also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda.]]]]

Chris is a timid, [[autism|autistic]], man with [[chris and his ego| delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as "you must [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you cannot loiter in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "you should use the washroom if you think you may [[dirty crapped briefs|soil yourself]]." Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; Christian appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Christian's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash| newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues and adventures.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (was temporary. Permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to his heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]]]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting what few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] by committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health and pined often about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in the past would end up betraying him - he found out that they had only tolerated him out of pity and were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person.

In reality the "frustration" that Chris now feels is actually the direct results of his past behaviours coming full circle in his life; whether he realizes it or not. The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including his actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris. Only for him to ignore their advice completely. With growing disregard for societal norms and even [[Chris and the Law|the law]], it leaves one to wonder if there will come a day when Chris does something ''truly'' reprehensible resulting in him being put away from functioning society for good.

{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

User talk:TheTrollingStones

2014-05-04T02:40:32Z

DX10: (I am literally retarded)

{{Welcome|DX10}}
--[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 02:40, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

User talk:TheTrollingStones

2014-05-04T02:38:28Z

DX10: Created page with "==Hi there!== Welcome to CWCKI! Welcome to CWCki! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself..."

Talk:List of Chris's lies

2014-05-04T02:35:02Z

DX10: /* List of piping? */

==To do==
This is a personal thing I very much detest about Chris, that is, how he lies. I think it's wise we document every instance Chris has blatantly lied by describing the lie and how he blatantly says he lies. Case in point - his trip to Redmond, when he never went and he even says to Miyamoto how he had to "mistruth" or some stupid shit like that about the video. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:07, 11 March 2009 (CET)

Maybe we could make sure they are organized by date and time as much as possible, some of us prefer to see it as a slope through his life as progressively gets worse and worse. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 22:04, 6 August 2010 (EST)

==Comments about lying==
If I'm correct, Chris makes quite a few comments about lying like "I only lie some of the time" in the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:18, 11 November 2009 (CET)

=Hope you got a LOT of spare time=

srsly, this article could be its own wiki if every one was covered. [[User:William Maize|William Maize]] 18:34, 11 March 2009 (CET)
*I'd mostly want to cover the major ones, the cases where Chris tries to pull a fast one on us but not fooling anyone. I wouldn't see any merit in documenting every single lie, which in some cases could very well be the result of his short term memory (in terms of discrepancies) or if you mean "lies" like that he has autism, when frankly we really can't deny his claims on that.
:Anyways, what I have in mind are the big ones, mostly to show how little Chris cares about his "fans", and how Chris can be a borderline sociopath who sees no problem with lying if it's for himself and how much of a hypocrite he is when he preaches "honesty" all the time. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:08, 11 March 2009 (CET)

Wow, this page is a lot shorter than I thought it would be.

*That's because no one has really worked on it. Also, please remember to sign your comments (It's four tildas). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 20 April 2009 (CEST)

=Some Other Lies=

I may add upon these sometime, but if someone wants to get started, they can.

*The Sonichu Medallion being shipped back to Chris-chan from Blanca when it is obvious the new one he had was a fake.
*About his Adam & Eve purchases of phallic devices.
*About the batch of nudes that was sent out and he claimed, "They must have hacked my webcam."

**Yes, yes, yes. These are the sorts of things this articles should address. Not half truths, not things Chris could get away with subjectively (for example, Chris "lying" about being fat - objectively he is but the point is that you could get away with saying that it's a matter of aesthetics and a subjective valuation) or exaggerations (like his eye colors - his eyes are really different colors but you'd never notice if he didn't make it fucking obvious in the comics and go on about how his eyes are different colors). I mean flat out lies, like the very basic definition of a lie, a total untruth. One of the most disgusting things about Chris is that he blatantly lies like this and he thinks he's being "clever" and outwitting us but he's just making himself come out worse. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:30, 8 June 2009 (CEST)

*I put in the disclaimer he's adding to all of his comics now because I find it horribly lulzy and so obviously a lie. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 22:41, 11 September 2009 (CEST)

*I think a good companion article to this one would be a list of Chris's excuses, of which he has many. Autism, stress, "it's a parody," lots of people shit their pants from time to time, lots of guys drink their own semen, I'm saving that dildo for my future sweetheart, my counselor said it's okay, etc. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 08:53, 5 October 2009 (CEST)

==Addressing Liquid==
I felt compelled to do a big spergin' write up of his [[Addressing Liquid]] video to show how full of shit he is. I put it at the end of this as I thought the analysis would be more fitting here than on the video page itself, but if anyone feels it might be better put there or someplace else, or deleted entirely, that's all good. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 07:48, 23 October 2009 (CEST)
*I just wanted to say that was totally awesome. [[User:Beat|Beat]] 08:42, 23 October 2009 (CEST)

== Simonchu ==

Now this is actually a lie:
{{quote|I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story. }}

We have e-mails between Evan and Chris discussing how Chris liked the character, he'd use it in the comic, etc. This is a flat out lie - a self serving one, as I'm guessing Chris thinks he's going to weasel out of a possible lawsuit by claiming he happened to think of an electric-ground hedgehog Pokemon all by himself, which is why professionals don't accept unsolicited fan submissions. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:27, 2 February 2010 (UTC)

== Deletion ==
[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux]] raised a concern that,just like [[Fail]], this is a listy bunch of tl;dr that encourages little other than everyone piping every third word in articles to [[Lie]]. It's well known that Chris lies out of his ass, so all this does is regurgitate content that is better summarized elsewhere. I figure the best way to stop the ED-esque piping to [[lie]] is just not to have an article on [[lie]] at all, since said article is superfluous anyway. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:43, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*May I suggest then that this be turned into a Redirect to Honest Content and that we just have a subsection there about his lying? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:53, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Idea. That might be the best thing. Expose the better bits to Sonichu Crystals and then redirect everything else. It saves time, and will kill that piping too. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:56, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Redirecting wouldn't kill the eighty bazillion unnecessary pipes though. I'm fine with a merge. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:58, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*Are we merging to [[Honest Content]] then? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 01:33, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::::* I'm reappropriating the Liquid Section in preparation for deletion. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 01:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::I'm just saying, if you completely remove all traces of the page without the redirect, then you'll have a hell of a lot of red links to fix. I hope your up to it. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:33, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::I can remove the redlinks without trouble. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:52, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Let me have my curry (and Cobras) and I'll finish taking the useful text out. Unless you want to get on it before, then the article will be set for deletion. -[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:54, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

===No, no, NO===
Just because people poorly pipe to Lie does not mean the page should go. Chris lies blatantly and these lies need to be documented. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater - this article needs a better definition of what constitutes a lie and what should link to "lie." Chris changing his mind, half truths, etc. are not necessarily lies.

Limiting pipes to Lie should be ideal, in addition to improving article quality. Like I said, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*All right. I guess you've got a better idea than I; I wasn't exactly hell bent on getting this deleted, just throwing that out as an option. What's your take on Fail then? Cleanup there too? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:16, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

===Checking account?===
I'm just throwing this out there just to make sure, but is it too early to call "trolls breaking into his checking account" a lie? It was just recently found out that Bob has been told by Chris about this, but no troll has heard of/admitting to doing this, and most seem to accept it as an excuse Chris made to cover his outrageous spending habits. I just don't want to jump the duck here. --[[User:Honorablethief|HonorableThief]] 18:36, 16 August 2010 (MST)
:* He admits to Kacey somewhere that he has had a lot of trouble with money in the past, to the point of getting those pesky overdraft fees. He also told Kacey that he's lied to his father about a lot of things; Kacey's reply of course was that it would make God angry and that God doesn't like liars "Honor thy Mother and Father" type thing. Chris adds another lie on top of that and says he does it for his FATHER'S benefit, not his own. So yes, trolling breaking into his checking account is a lie.... so is the fact that he admits to lying for his father's sake. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:41, 9 November 2011 (PST)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw
** In [[List of Chris's lies]] on 2011-09-20 22:39:11, 404 Not Found
** In [[List of Chris's lies]] on 2011-09-28 08:16:39, 404 Not Found

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:16, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Autism and lying ==

I think this page should include some clarification regarding lying. Autistics generally do not see lying the same way we do, they tell their own truth, they believe it.

Lying is knowingly communicating untruths, where as autistics grasp on the truth is what is skewed. They tend to believe what they say as soon as they say it. Just think this needs a little clarification
[[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 11:11, 7 December 2011 (PST)

== Certain page I cannot find ==

Hey, I really wanted to find the video page where Chris lists his positive qualities, then immediately below it, there's a large list, refuting each of his claims. One of them was "Chris was never popular. He took his mother to the prom." I looked on this list and I still can't seem to find it. Maybe it could also be added to this page (if it isn't already) to make it more easily accessible.

In either case, can someone point me in the direction of it please? Thanks. --[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] 10:16, 17 July 2013 (PDT)
:I would suggest caution before incorporating any part of that list into this article. Remember, saying untruths you actually believe in is not lying. I'm willing to grant Chris the benefit of the doubt and assume that he genuinely thinks he was popular at some point of his life, unless of course you can prove that he doesn't actually think so and merely lied when he claimed otherwise. The best way to prove such a thing is probably with a documented confession made by our pet lolcow. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 14:08, 17 July 2013 (PDT)

....Huh? I think you misread my post. There was a video, I think in the Liquid saga of Chris saying "I'm the real Chris, I'm honest, strong willed, and popular..." etc, and then right below that video, you guys had already compiled a list refuting each of his points. The only part I do remember though is "Chris was never popular. He took his mother to the senior prom..." etc... and I want to find that video and page again. I've done google searches, site searches and I cannot find it. I was just wanting someone to guide me over to it, and maybe to include a link to it on THIS page... since it seems pretty relevant to a lot of his lies.

I have no idea what you're replying about though. --[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] 14:44, 17 July 2013 (PDT)

:What I'm trying to say is that not every untruth said by Chris is necessarily a lie, it might be just a delusion of his. In order to prove that any untruth mentioned in the list you talk about is a lie you have to show that Chris has deliberately said something he knew to be untrue. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] 15:30, 17 July 2013 (PDT)

:And that's not even remotely on the same tangent of what I was asking. I just want to find that video. --[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] 06:12, 18 July 2013 (PDT)

Edit: Okay, FINALLY, I have found the video and page in question. http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/For_Chris And all I was suggesting about adding it to this page (notice, it's listed under Solid Chris' lies) was so that this page wouldn't be so difficult to find later on. --[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] 10:08, 18 July 2013 (PDT)

== No need ==

Absolutely no need to delete this article. If you deleted every overpiped article, there would be no CWCki. --[[User:DawnDusk|DawnDusk]] 09:43, 9 January 2014 (PST)

: This article isn't marked for deletion. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 05:28, 11 January 2014 (PST)

== List of piping? ==

Is there any way to view a comprehensive list of all the instances of piping to this article? I'd like to take a look and see which I could amend to pipe to a different subject, or even neutralize altogether. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 15:35, 3 May 2014 (UTC)
:[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Special:WhatLinksHere/List_of_Chris%27s_lies here]. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 17:04, 3 May 2014 (UTC)
:: Thanks. I removed a few instances that seemed unnecessary, but there's probably more that need to be culled, so I'll return to the list now and then. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 02:35, 4 May 2014 (UTC)

Encyclopedia Dramatica

2014-05-04T02:31:41Z

DX10: Piping here was unnecessary. I don't think there's need for piping within this quote since it doesn't explain or elaborate on the quote, just misdirects.

{{Timelinetop
|size = 100px
|start = 2008
|end = Ongoing}}
{{protip|Stop trying to put mentions of ed.es on this page. Only use it to replace broken ed.com links.}}
{{Quote|I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.|[[Christopher Weston Chandler]]<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
'''Encyclopedia Dramatica''' (aka '''ED''') is the home to the Chris-chan page that introduced Chris to the world at large and made him a popular target for [[trolling]].

==Chris on ED==

Chris has denounced the ED page in several of his videos, claiming it is filled with "VICIOUS LIES AND SLANDER."

After a considerable amount of trolling and bitching and uploading hideous pornographic images, including the disastrous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], Chris posted this gem on the ED talk page:

{{quotebox|I AM ADDING THE [[Rule 34|POSITIVITY]] THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED [[Pickle|Additions]] to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!

So, Draw Breasts, [[china|Vaginas]], Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them, you [[Duck|Two-Inch Short]] [[Pickle|Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!]]

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the [[Women's Rights]], For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.

P.S. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Grow a BACKBONE and GO ASK WOMEN OUT AS WELL, YOU TROLLS!]]}}

Chris then returned, admitting defeat after his tard rage:

{{quotebox|Months ago, I have found from this page being the first of a number hate against me, Christian Weston Chandler. *[[sigh]]* Among the number of you all, my name has been dragged through the mud, my e-mail and MySpace have been hacked for the e-mail information and random information that have been twisted into mockery of [[obesity|my person]], [[Chris and sex|my integrity]], [[List of Chris's lies|my honesty]], [[Ryan Cash|my compassion]], [[heart level|my heart]], [[Chris and religion|my soul]], [[autism|my being]]. Not only that, but the names of my two best gal-pals, [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]], and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], have also been dragged through the mud of mockery along with mine. Not only were [[heart level|my feelings were hurt greatly]], but also those of [[Megan]] and [[Anna]], and a number of my acquaintances within my small social circle were shocked and terrified that such [[trolls|cruelty]], such [[pickle|mockery]], such [[homos|hatred]] was built from the number of those who have added more and more to this disgrace of a description of my [[autism|being]].

For a while, I was angry and enraged, and I shoved information and drawings regretfully drawn beyond my personal boundries down the throat of the webmasters of the page, in attempt to kill the hype and hatred against me. But No More, I give up on trying to edit the page to be more positive, or to delete the page altogether.

But I have ONE Question, that I put unto you all, the individuals who have taken part in creating this web page, and I would appreciate an Open, Detailed and Honest Answer from each of you in simple e-mails or reply on this discussion page.

[[Frequently Asked Questions|Why do you hate me so much?]]

What did I do against you to cause the hatred against me? What physical or emotional harm have I ensued unto you? Why do you hate me for being myself in this world full of people who can't help but be themselves? I've had nothing against any of you. I don't even know any of you personally, as far as I know. I have nothing that any of you have already, so Why?

I leave you with that to ponder and ponder again over.

Sincerely;

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

After the late summer of [[2008]], Chris largely gave up on direct involvement with ED. Around the spring of [[2009]], he may have posted one or two comments on the ED talk page referring to [[Clyde Cash]], however. The first is below. It was deleted fairly quickly.

{{quotebox|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the [[heart level|crestfallen emotions]], but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to [[troll]] me any further. [[fangs|Do you dare?]]

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler

--ChrisChanSonichu 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)}}

There was some dispute over it actually being Chris until he himself confirmed it in the post that followed:

{{quotebox|Hey, [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE]], you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not [[PS3|Playstation]]. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.}}

According to Clyde, the above entry was deleted after roughly a minute, probably due to Chris realizing that if he were to ever arrange to meet Clyde, he'd only send his parents anyway.

==ED on Chris, his article, and his article's talk page==

[[Image:Drycow.PNG|thumb|Uploaded 12 December 2008, before the new comic, [[Miyamoto]] saga, and [[BlueSpike]] saga]]

For several months prior to the events of the [[BlueSpike]] saga in early 2009, many thought that Chris had dried up, that Chris could go no further. Furthermore, the [[Blanca Weiss#FCTC|FCTC]]'s posting of new pics of Chris's bent [[duck]] in December 2008 prompted an ED admin to lock the talk page and demand satisfaction:

{{quote|MINE: What this talkpage is. If you guys continue your faggotry after this protection expires today I will lock it down longer, and then eventually permanently.|Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 4 December 2008}}

{{quote|I say we just delete it. Along with the archives|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 5 December 2008}}

{{quote|Fuck this article and it's talk page. Stupid discussions unrelated to upkeep and editing are the only thing keeping this shit interesting. You guys take this shit WAY to srsly. Find another retard to stalk fgts|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 10 December 2008}}

==1 April 2009==

[[Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|left|thumb|Screenshot of ED's front page.]]
[[Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|thumb|Screenshot of the article.]]

On April Fools' Day 2009, the Chris-chan article was taken down and replaced with a message.

{{quote|This afternoon, we at Encyclopædia Dramatica have independently decided to remove the Chris-chan article about Christian W. Chandler from our site. We have also removed all references that slander, vilify, demean, or are found to be overly offensive. In plain terms, this ordeal has gone on far too long and gotten far out of hand. We have unfairly focused on him to the point of intruding in his private life and causing him great personal grief, which no person should ever have to endure. This behavior is not in line with our site goals, and we never wanted something like this. Still, we must take complete responsibility for all our actions, both public and private. And that is why we are speaking to you today. But we say to you now that at no time did we ask anyone to lie, hide, or destroy evidence, or to take any other unlawful action.

We know that his public comments and his silence about this matter gave a false impression. We misled people, including even his family. We deeply regret that. We can only tell you we were motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect himself from the embarrassment of his own conduct.

He was also very concerned about protecting his family. The investigation moved on to his family and friends, then into his private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation.

This has gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people.

Regardless of any public pressure to reinstate the article, it must be stressed that our intrusion on Chris' private life will cease, and we intend to reclaim his family life for his family. Even internet celebrities have private lives. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our national life. Our website has been distracted by this matter for too long, and we take responsibility for our part in all of this. That is all we can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on. We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real matters to face.

And so tonight, we ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past two years, as we return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next century.

Thank you. And good night.|ED, <s>in a rare case of moralfaggotry</s> joking.}}

Not surprisingly, the page was put back up on 2 April.

==Chris's use of Encyclopedia Dramatica==

''See also [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

Chris tried to use ED to muster his personal army to go after [[Joshua Martinez]]. Obviously, nobody did what he asked. <ref><s>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</s></ref> He also tried to create a page on ED for his "CCWC's Fanart of Horrors" (see: [[troll]] art), but a sysop immediately caught it and redirected it to an anti-Semitic template.

==Chris and ED==

{{quote|I do think it is a little behind [[CWCki|cwcwiki]] [sic] on a few things, though, but that is to be expected.|[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] on the ED article today<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview</ref>}}

For a while, the ED page was crammed with misinformation (such as Chris attempting to molest [[Patti]], or the idea that Ivy was really [[Kimmi|the blowup doll]]), but was cleaned out various times.

Trolls and general observers of Chris have since turned to [[CWCki]] to get a general picture of Chris that is less biased than ED (emphasis on "less"), and [[TV Tropes]] once described CWCki as being "''more accurate and slightly more SFW''" than ED.

As for Chris himself, the ED page STILL bothered him. An [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|entire page]] of Chris's website, established in December 2009 and updated afterward, is dedicated to "correcting" the evil ED article with his own True and Honest take on the situation. Naturally, it's all about how Chris isn't remotely responsible for anything he has done wrong, and how it's all the fault of his [[autism]] or those DANG DIRTY TROLLS.

==Oh Internet==
On 14 April 2011, ED was redirected to [http://ohinternet.com/ Oh Internet], a more safe-for-work wiki in an attempt to achieve the site revenue required to stay online. Needless to say, summaries of [http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Chris] and [http://ohinternet.com/Sonichu Sonichu] are available here.
Since October 2013, Oh Internet silently went offline.

Since Oh Internet went online, Encyclopedia Dramatica was back under several domains: .ch, .se and .es, revived via scraping articles and images from archived websites.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==

*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[4-cent garbage]]
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|TVTropes]] - The original article, before it was locked and edited.

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?6m7hk01609e4e7k Google Cache of Chris's ED article]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/Chris-chan Archive of Chris's page on the "new" "new" ED, and the TRUE and HONEST "Chris-chan" article]
*<s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Reldnahc Chris's ED account]</s>
*[http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Oh Internet article (SFW!)]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

Autism

2014-05-04T02:26:22Z

DX10: Removed piping to 'List of Chris's lines' in this line. Not really apt and totally needless. It's not a lie, it's just a fucking retarded statement.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]
::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''
'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks. In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[100 2178|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, you know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]]. Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin Falling Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; i.e., high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, fluent speech, and about-average intellect. This lets Chris have it both ways: you can't blame him for his failures because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's retarded because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything with his life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are utterly his fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]]}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk (which implies that Chris could talk before this incident, and that would be in direct contradiction to Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven); as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me." Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far, far more likely that one or both of Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development.

It is not currently clear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g., throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's [[Chris and sex#Rape|tactful and sensitive]] comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger Syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref>.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. Many neurotypical people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.
**In the [[Jackie E-mails 23|final exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to Jackie's frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by telling her she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; While he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and near OCD like organization. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[continuity#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has an evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PS3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]--where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games, him trying to remain a child, or fear of failure. More than likely though this more to the fact that Chris is lazy, fat, selfish, naive, incompetent, refuses to grow up, and refuses to accept responsibility.

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.

Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex is too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|the disorder did not even exist before he was born]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. More recently he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In more recent years (specifically, during [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009), he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up - in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PS3|PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained his autism and is back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend) he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but to live a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics", you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so in reality he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics than himself "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and Hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]]. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Episode_19#Episode_19:_Date_Ed_.28Even_Though_the_Idea_Sounds_Dated.29|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even for [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can be speculated from this that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem very unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, [[A-Logging|people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, and wish he'd fuck off and die and stop giving them a bad name]]. The deleted article about Chris on [[TV Tropes]] said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel", that is to say it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window onto hell".

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

CWCipedia

2014-05-04T02:24:18Z

DX10: Switched the piping from 'lie' to the ego article, since it makes a bit more sense. The lie article is a very broad thing to pipe to in a sentence like that.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]].]]

'''CWCipedia''' (4 [[May 2009]] – 26 [[June 2010]]) (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]], which was also set up by the [[Cogsdev|same webmaster]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of MediaWiki's software and its usability, in that it strove to create a platform even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. While Chris does possess some "[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Bob.27s_work_history_.2807:18_-_16:58.29|technological]]" intelligence, he still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris had a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article, he ended up going off on a tangent explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This led into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he had in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow led to a fantastically retarded idea for a ''Pokémon'' game system that was basically just the holographic projectors from ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery, he got back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Cogsdev informed Chris of the CWCipedia's existence some time in May of 2009. Subsequently, Chris began to edit it on 7 [[June 2009]].

For several months Chris's use of the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of [[CWCville]], and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage.]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it received on a daily basis and the profusion of large files that were held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its [[True and Loyal Fanbase]], the Sysop that maintained the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris made no money from advertisement revenue; all of it went towards keeping the CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1,000 (US$1,482), qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the [[homos|homoerotic]] ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy existed with CWCipedia either). Even though it may have been tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seemed limited.

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, scolded Chris, telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. Furthermore, it said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. In other words, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], ''[[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]]'', and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He bestowed upon himself the title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]], posting to CWCipedia:
{{quote|I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not Jack would receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris had no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 1 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" and featuring a picture of a giant ejaculating [[duck]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, even though he has a [[Homos|giant homophobic ass]].

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia Advertisement Gallery ~ ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the fascinating world of Mexico.]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted.
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No joke.]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies."]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|could]]. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice.]]
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings|anime wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra|muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]].
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]].
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High-Functioning Autistics.
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the Middle East]].
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]].
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is.]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over.]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising.
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz].
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]].
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW.]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, "gay and Christian"? It's not possible...or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.
</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}
On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later, Chris would create a special page for the Twitter feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his followers with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Sysop later put the feed on the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10.]]
During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, consequences would never be the same.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having gotten a little first-hand lesson regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video, he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he was completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his website of fail.

Within a few days, the site was returned to normal.

===Closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10.]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a [[Wikipedia:Digital Millennium Copyright Act|DMCA]] request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5 February 2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but to do so only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the Internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of [[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|''Sonichu Revolution'']]. The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. ''Sonichu Revolution'' continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from Sean imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. For a few days after this, visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into [[March 2010]], Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[The Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new ''Sonichu'' comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for $100. Since Chris was the Captain, he decided to sail the S.S. ''CWCipedia'' into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===CWCipedia opened for everybody===
{{main|CWCipedia vandalism}}
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]
A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu". Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

===CWCipedia closed to outside edits again===
Early on 22 March, the Sysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However, much of the vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to the Sysop skipping them over or not caring.

===Broken dead===
During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] version created by [[Mao]] died in July.

===Resurrection===
Whether it was coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the Easter weekend just so an autistic manchild can carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he feels like it for his [[fanbase|fans]].

===Traitorous mutiny===
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as TRUE and HONEST as they first appeared, as it involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald Sneasel]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], [[Sandy]] getting hit by a car, [[Wild]] committing suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survived, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovered the vandalization and replaced all of the images with a disclaimer that work on ''Sonichu'' #11 was ongoing. He then called out on the Sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her. He then ranted about how he would find peace off the Internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the Internet]]... [[Lie|again]]. ('''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't.)

===A new face===
{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes.}}
On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

DariaCamacho was eventually revealed to be Mao.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===
On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] had the FALSE and DISHONEST comic pages back up.

===CWCipedia abandoned and revived===
Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a video message]], abandoned ship:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.]]

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the Internet.

[[Chris and his Ego|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia became perfect breeding grounds for [[duck|dicks]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|PINGAS]]. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Vivian Gee]], the CWCipedia was revived and a new season of ''Sonichu'' began.

===The end===
On 26 June 2010, the CWCipedia (or "''Sonichu'' Fans Wiki", as it had been called by its [[Asperpedia|new owners]]) was finally terminated. Fortunately, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page a copy of the site as it was before the vandalism and takeover] was kept so future generations can witness the monster of fail that was the CWCipedia. The vandalism can be seen on the website as well with a click of the "history" tab.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]</s> '''DELETED'''
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (Pre-Vandalism)]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

List of Chris's lies

2014-05-03T15:43:22Z

DX10: More link correction. Changed the sentence slightly to make a little more sense.

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]".
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

List of Chris's lies

2014-05-03T15:41:18Z

DX10: Removed needless external linking that simply lead straight back to the CWCki.

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]".
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Sonichu%27s_Edge| despite failing to prove he is able to do so]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

Talk:List of Chris's lies

2014-05-03T15:35:55Z

DX10: /* List of piping? */ new section

CWCipedia

2014-05-02T19:25:31Z

DX10: Further tense amendments.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]].]]

'''CWCipedia''' (4 [[May 2009]] – 26 [[June 2010]]) (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]], which was also set up by the [[Cogsdev|same webmaster]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of MediaWiki's software and its usability, in that it strove to create a platform even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. While Chris does possess some "[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Bob.27s_work_history_.2807:18_-_16:58.29|technological]]" intelligence, he still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris had a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article, he ended up going off on a tangent explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This led into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he had in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow led to a fantastically retarded idea for a ''Pokémon'' game system that was basically just the holographic projectors from ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery, he got back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Cogsdev informed Chris of the CWCipedia's existence some time in May of 2009. Subsequently, Chris began to edit it on 7 [[June 2009]].

For several months Chris's use of the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of [[CWCville]], and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage.]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it received on a daily basis and the profusion of large files that were held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its [[True and Loyal Fanbase]], the Sysop that maintained the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris made no money from advertisement revenue; all of it went towards keeping the CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1,000 (US$1,482), qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the [[homos|homoerotic]] ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy existed with CWCipedia either). Even though it may have been tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seemed limited.

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, scolded Chris, telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. Furthermore, it said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. In other words, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], ''[[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]]'', and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He bestowed upon himself the title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]], posting to CWCipedia:
{{quote|I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not Jack would receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris had no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 1 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" and featuring a picture of a giant ejaculating [[duck]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, even though he has a [[Homos|giant homophobic ass]].

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia Advertisement Gallery ~ ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the fascinating world of Mexico.]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted.
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No joke.]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies."]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|could]]. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice.]]
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings|anime wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra|muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]].
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]].
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High-Functioning Autistics.
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the Middle East]].
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]].
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is.]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over.]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising.
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz].
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]].
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW.]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, "gay and Christian"? It's not possible...or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.
</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}
On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later, Chris would create a special page for the Twitter feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his followers with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Sysop later put the feed on the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10.]]
During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, consequences would never be the same.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having gotten a little first-hand lesson regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video, he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he was completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his website of fail.

Within a few days, the site was returned to normal.

===Closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10.]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a [[Wikipedia:Digital Millennium Copyright Act|DMCA]] request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5 February 2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but to do so only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the Internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of [[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|''Sonichu Revolution'']]. The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. ''Sonichu Revolution'' continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from Sean imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. For a few days after this, visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into [[March 2010]], Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[The Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new ''Sonichu'' comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for $100. Since Chris was the Captain, he decided to sail the S.S. ''CWCipedia'' into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===CWCipedia opened for everybody===
{{main|CWCipedia vandalism}}
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]
A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu". Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

===CWCipedia closed to outside edits again===
Early on 22 March, the Sysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However, much of the vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to the Sysop skipping them over or not caring.

===Broken dead===
During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] version created by [[Mao]] died in July.

===Resurrection===
Whether it was coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the Easter weekend just so an autistic manchild can carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he feels like it for his [[fanbase|fans]].

===Traitorous mutiny===
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as TRUE and HONEST as they first appeared, as it involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald Sneasel]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], [[Sandy]] getting hit by a car, [[Wild]] committing suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survived, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovered the vandalization and replaced all of the images with a disclaimer that work on ''Sonichu'' #11 was ongoing. He then called out on the Sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her. He then ranted about how he would find peace off the Internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the Internet]]... [[Lie|again]]. ('''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't.)

===A new face===
{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes.}}
On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

DariaCamacho was eventually revealed to be Mao.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===
On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] had the FALSE and DISHONEST comic pages back up.

===CWCipedia abandoned and revived===
Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a video message]], abandoned ship:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.]]

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the Internet.

[[List of Chris's lies|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia became perfect breeding grounds for [[duck|dicks]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|PINGAS]]. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Vivian Gee]], the CWCipedia was revived and a new season of ''Sonichu'' began.

===The end===
On 26 June 2010, the CWCipedia (or "''Sonichu'' Fans Wiki", as it had been called by its [[Asperpedia|new owners]]) was finally terminated. Fortunately, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page a copy of the site as it was before the vandalism and takeover] was kept so future generations can witness the monster of fail that was the CWCipedia. The vandalism can be seen on the website as well with a click of the "history" tab.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]</s> '''DELETED'''
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (Pre-Vandalism)]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

CWCipedia

2014-05-02T19:23:20Z

DX10: Amended to past tense,. The paragraph begins in past tense, so it only makes sense.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCipedia Introduction.jpg|thumb|Chris proudly claimed the CWCipedia in the name of [[CWCville]].]]

'''CWCipedia''' (4 [[May 2009]] – 26 [[June 2010]]) (not to be confused with the [[CWCki]], which was also set up by the [[Cogsdev|same webmaster]]) was a wiki set up for the sole use of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], as a sort of personal wiki as opposed to Chris vandalizing the CWCki with his bullshit. Furthermore, it was designed to allow Chris to "get the truth out" as he so desired to do on [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|his Wikipedia profile]].

Since its inception, Chris more or less treated the page as free web hosting, a place to put his comics without having to pay for the resulting bandwidth use. CWCipedia also served as the ultimate test of MediaWiki's software and its usability, in that it strove to create a platform even an [[autism|autistic]] manchild/lazy fuck can easily use. While Chris does possess some "[[Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Bob.27s_work_history_.2807:18_-_16:58.29|technological]]" intelligence, he still managed to fuck it up from time to time, even with a Sysop holding his hand.

Chris had a tendency to let his mind wander while typing up his entries. For example, in his [[Sonichu]] article, he ended up going off on a tangent explaining what had happened to [[Kel]] (even though it didn't involve Sonichu at all), and the fact that Chris himself is the leader of the [[CWCville]] Pokémon gym. This led into Chris describing his supposed gym at length, what Pokémon he had in his team, and his collection of Pokémon in the game (in addition to their level and how he had leveled them). This somehow led to a fantastically retarded idea for a ''Pokémon'' game system that was basically just the holographic projectors from ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', except with Pokémon. After all of that dumbfuckery, he got back to talking about Sonichu again.

==The early days==
Cogsdev informed Chris of the CWCipedia's existence some time in May of 2009. Subsequently, Chris began to edit it on 7 [[June 2009]].

For several months Chris's use of the wiki proceeded without incident. He was able to display his comics and music, share more details of his personal life, reveal more background information about the world of [[CWCville]], and shout his bizarre homophobic rantings from the virtual rooftops in peace. The administrators of the site remained a silent, benevolent force behind the scenes.

Towards the end of 2009, this would change.

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[Image:Untitled.png|thumb|100px|left|Ensuring that Chris sees them EVERY TIME he visits.]]
[[Image:NewCWCipediaFrontpage.jpg|thumb|Chris's revised frontpage.]]
As 2009 came to a close, CWCipedia's operators ran into financial trouble keeping the site in the black, given the many hits it received on a daily basis and the profusion of large files that were held on its servers. To help keep the site up and running for its [[True and Loyal Fanbase]], the Sysop that maintained the website for Chris turned to selling advertising space on the site. Keep in mind that these ads were all randomly generated by metadata created by Chris and the people browsing his site, not special hand-crafted ads made by [[trolls]]. Due to the somewhat complicated laws of the jurisdiction in which the servers reside, ads may only be purchased from within the European Union.

Chris made no money from advertisement revenue; all of it went towards keeping the CWCipedia up and running.

Chris responded to these ads with a few complaints to the admin and [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was the only donor who delivered over €1,000 (US$1,482), qualifying him to create custom advertisements on the site. [[CWC Blog#7 December 2009|In a blog post]], Chris hoped that ''someone'' within the EU would be able to step up and donate so much money that they'd not only qualify for custom ads, but help to ''remove'' the [[homos|homoerotic]] ads that appeared on the site (even though most online advertisers give ''no'' such heavy-handed preferential treatment to premium advertisers, and indeed, no such stated policy exists in CWCipedia either). Even though it may have been tempting for some European fans, the appeal of this opportunity seemed limited.

On 27 December 2009, the ad space, previously at the very bottom of CWCipedia's navbar on the left side of the page, was moved to the very top of the navbar. Another ad appeared on Chris's main page beside the logo. On 28 December, Chris flipped out and replaced it with an ad for his beloved [[My Coke Rewards]] program. The Sysop, however, scolded Chris, telling him that ''he'' had no control over the ads.

On 30 December 2009 Chris, unable to change the now-protected main page, lashed out the only way he could, by adding a block of text to the bottom of his (already hideously ugly) front page image, declaring that no ads were allowed on that page. Furthermore, it said that he would not remove this block of text until the offending ads were removed from the main page. In other words, Chris ''defaced his own website'' in an attempt to get someone else to stop advertising on it. You can guess how well that worked.

On 2 January 2010, Chris began cluttering the website with his ads again, shilling for [[CWC Cola|Coca-Cola]], ''[[Wild Sonichu|Avatar]]'', and [[It's UGH!|Proposition 8]]. He bestowed upon himself the title of [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Captain]], posting to CWCipedia:
{{quote|I have another pair of pages for today, and I will answer another [[Mailbag]] or two after uploading. But I also have another announcement; Jack thinks he can get away with occupying my Introduction Box with ANY Ad, well I have a few items I fully support as well. I will be placing my own Ads around the Cwcipedia, as I assert My Rights to do so [[Chris and his Ego|as Captain of this website vessel]].
'''I DO NOT WANT MY ADS REMOVED OR REPLACED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.'''}}

Additionally, Chris posted the following message to his [[Twitter]]:
{{quote|C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and [[Chris and Anger|Mutiny will not be tolerated.]] Stay Safe, and have a good day.}}

As to whether or not Jack would receive forty lashes less one for his inevitable insubordination, Chris had no comment.

Due to gay porn ads on the CWCipedia, on 1 [[February 2010]] Chris [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|unleashed]] a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] upon Mao "Bamboo" Ling, after which he "[[Apologies to Alec and Evan|apologized]]" to Alec and [[Evan]].

Eventually, on 26 [[February 2010]], Jack Thaddeus returned with an unclickable ad reading "JACK'S BACK" and featuring a picture of a giant ejaculating [[duck]]. Chris, surprisingly, never reacted, even though he has a [[Homos|giant homophobic ass]].

{{collapsible
|CWCipedia Advertisement Gallery ~ ''Note: The captions in this gallery are the alt text and links for the ads.''
|<gallery>
Image:CWCipediaAudiobookAd.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#g/c/4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 Watch the newest audiobooks here!]
Image:CWCipediaAutismAd.jpg|[http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/ Asperger's Syndrome is a serious condition. Get the facts.]
Image:CWCipediaVlasicAd.jpg|[http://www.vlasic.com/ Taste the Juicy Crunch!]
Image:CWCipediaGayRightsAd.jpg|[http://gayrights.change.org/ Support Family Guys everywhere!]
Image:CWCipediaMexicoAd.jpg|[http://mexico-travel.com/ Discover the fascinating world of Mexico.]
Image:AxeAd1.png|We all know how [[homos|manly]] [[Axe]] is.
Image:AxeAd2.jpg|In stores now!
Image:Beepboop.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:DateThree.png|[http://www.lotsofloves.com/ Quit playing the waiting game!]
Image:DebtConsolidation.gif|A [[Chris and money| Chris and his money]] are soon parted.
Image:DicksSporting.png|[http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/home/index.jsp No joke.]
Image:Diversity.png|But [[niggos|"No Darkies."]]
Image:DuckPreservationSociety.png|[http://www.woodducksociety.com/ You should always take good care of your duck!]
Image:Eyesight.png|Plus, if you go blind, you can't enjoy shirtless men.
Image:Fkinglie.png
Image:GayAutismCure.jpg|Get yours today!
Image:GayAutisticSingles.jpg|The man of your dreams could be living next door!
Image:GayAutisticSon.jpg|I bet Chris [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|could]]. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|Twice.]]
Image:GayDrawing1.png|[[Sonichu (comic)|Case in point.]]
Image:GayDrawing2.png|You know what sounds like [[Autism|artistic]]?
Image:GayForGod.png|[[Rocky Shoemaker|Rocky]] approves.
Image:GayOtakuSexClub.jpg|Can I bring my [[Anime Wings|anime wings]]?
Image:GayPokemonDVDs.png|That's digusting! Get a [[Muscle bra|muscle bra]] and cover up!
Image:GLISTENINGHALF-NAKEDBLACKMEN.jpg|This one is my favorite.
Image:Heavenlyreward.png|After you die, you get your [[Semen#Comeuppance|comeuppance]].
Image:HEXBAWKSad.png|A [[Hex Bawx|"life upgrade"]].
Image:HGwait4u1.png|He's already a [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|fan]].
Image:HGwait4u2.png|AUTISM HOOOOOOU~
Image:Hitlerpedia.png|[http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights.html Bill of Rights]
Image:HOTTHROBBINGGAYCOCKjpg.jpg|Cumming to butts near you.
Image:JoinTheNavy.gif|[http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-425.html/ DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL.]
Image:JustGuys.png|There's nothing wrong with [[High_school#Social_life|only hanging out with one gender]].
Image:Knight.png
Image:PlayNow.png
Image:Kool-Aid.png|It's recommended by 9 out of 10 High-Functioning Autistics.
Image:LearnAboutIslam.png|Chris has lots of [[mailbag|fans in the Middle East]].
Image:Lipitor.png|Better [[Chris and health|stop taking it]] before it makes you [[homos|gay]].
Image:Mystery pic.png|Can you identify our mystery penis?
Image:Naivewater.png|[[Naïve|It's not what you think it is.]]
Image:OK2BGay.png|[http://okaytobegay.blogspot.com/ There's a big difference between bending down and kneeling over.]
Image:OxieCleanAd.gif|GETS OUT AUTISM, FAST! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
Image:PickelParty.png|Sounds promising.
Image:PicklePops.png|Pop a pickle in your mouth today!
Image:PKMN4HP.gif|That HP kid is a total [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spastic spaz].
Image:Sexvote.png|[http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2571589/ PollDaddy Answers Poll]
Image:Specialsomeone.png|They don't meet the [[Attraction Sign|requirements]].
Image:This2this.png|Go from [[Obesity|THIS]] to [[Clyde Cash|THIS]]!
Image:VirginiaLaw.png|[[Jerkop|I am the LAW.]]
Image:CWCipediaChrisLesGayAd.png|[http://www.eflgc.org.uk/ What do you mean, "gay and Christian"? It's not possible...or is it?]
Image:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|It seriously is.
</gallery>}}

==The Twitter feed==
{{main|Twitter}}
On 25 December 2009, the WikiSysop added a live Twitter feed to the [[Mailbag|mailbag]]. This was short-lived, as on the early morning of the 27th Chris removed it in a fit of rage and added the following note:

{{quote|o I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!

I DO NOT SUPPORT YOU GOD DAMN GAYS!!! I F***ING HATE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS WHO MESS WITH ME AND MY LIFE!

GO GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|

--ChrisChanSonichu 04:31, 27 December 2009 (CET) }}

Exactly five minutes later, Chris would create a special page for the Twitter feed, and delete the homophobic outburst quoted above. Chris would create a Twitter account for himself [[Chris and hypocrisy|the very next day]], regaling his followers with stories of him doing yardwork. The wise and magnanimous Sysop later put the feed on the front page of CWCipedia, due to the fact that ''(ahem)'' it probably needed some wider exposure.

== A history of (un)availability ==
===CWCipedia closed due to A(I)DS===
[[Image:CWCipedia-Home-Copyright.jpg|thumb|The CWCipedia as it appeared on 1/1/10.]]
During the last weeks of 2009, Chris became more infuriated as the gay ads continued piling up. In desperation, Chris began placing ads of his own that didn't inspire uncomfortable questions about his sexuality. The Sysop became furious at Chris's unauthorized interference and warned him that if he didn't remove the ads, consequences would never be the same.

On 2 January 2010, the CWCipedia was served a cease and desist notice by the Coca-Cola Company for its unauthorized use of their logo on the site. Thus, the Sysop was forced to close the website for a few days until the matter could be resolved. Having gotten a little first-hand lesson regarding what [[Chris and copyright|copyright law]] is all about, Chris issued an [[This_was_my_fault|apology]] on YouTube. In the video, he claimed that he thought Coke would appreciate the free advertisement, but he was completely unaware that no self-respecting company would ever want their product to be associated with his website of fail.

Within a few days, the site was returned to normal.

===Closed (again) due to theft===
[[Image:Cwcipedia closed again.jpg|thumb|right|The CWCipedia's source page as of 2/6/10.]]
In the early morning of 6 February 2010, the CWCipedia was closed down again, this time thanks to a [[Wikipedia:Digital Millennium Copyright Act|DMCA]] request from representatives of [[Evan|Evan George]]. According to the request, Chris's use of the character [[Simonla Rosechu]] on his website and in his comics infringes upon Evan's intellectual property, as Simonla is clearly a derivative of Evan's character [[Simonchu]]. This was most likely triggered by Chris's announcement, [[5 February 2010|in a video from 5 February]], that he agreed to do away with Simonla and stop featuring her in his comics, but to do so only at an unspecified "later" time.

Three days after the CWCipedia was locked to edits, it was wiped from the Internet entirely. In its place appeared a redirect link to Asperpedia; however, due to a bug, it redirected to an online role-playing game, ''Dogs of the Seas''.

===CWCipedia lives on===
On 12 February 2010, the CWCipedia was revived to a certain extent. Although it was still locked to edits and only a "login required" screen was accessible, it was functional enough for Alec Benson Leary to display the first two pages of [[Asperchu#Sonichu_Revolution|''Sonichu Revolution'']]. The next day, Chris fulfilled [[Evan]]'s request and the CWCipedia was restored for all people to see. ''Sonichu Revolution'' continued onward from there, prominently featured at the top of every page of the CWCipedia.

On 24 February 2010, a new set of ads appeared on the CWCipedia, calling Chris out on his [[Christian Love Day (video)|unwarranted self-importance]] on his birthday, with a message from Sean imploring fans to give gifts to victims in Haiti instead. For a few days after this, visitors were treated to the sight of a series of animated ads featuring gigantic ejaculating cocks, revenge from Jack Thaddeus in response to Chris's execution of the Asperpedia Four at the end of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Closed due to parody===
{{quote|Also, you might want to take a look at your site before you go around advertising it... Some pretty vulgar vandalism you have going on there on a majority of pages.|Some guy on LittleBigWorkshop. Chris never read this and discovered the vandalism the next day.}}

Going into [[March 2010]], Chris appeared to lose all interest in updating the site or presenting any meaningful new content. He neglected updating the Mailbag and stopped uploading new comic pages. His only additions to the site in the first three weeks of March were a series of rants directed at trolls and his fans, where he accused them of breaking up his pursuit of [[The Wallflower]] and complained that the demand for new ''Sonichu'' comics was ruining his life.

On 18 March 2010, CWCipedia was taken down and replaced with a redirect to a [[parody]] version of the website run by [[Mao]]. The Sysop had decided to allow Mao to buy a permanent redirect for $100. Since Chris was the Captain, he decided to sail the S.S. ''CWCipedia'' into an iceberg and let it sink, making Jack pull all his funding and forcing the Sysop to shut the site down for good.

===CWCipedia opened for everybody===
{{main|CWCipedia vandalism}}
{{Quote|STOP THIS!!! THIS IS MY DOMAIN, and I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FAGGOTS SCREW IT UP!!!|Chris, somewhat upset.}}
[[Image:Niggachris.jpg|thumb|One of the hundreds of images uploaded by trolls during their epic vandalism.]]
A day later, however, the original CWCipedia returned. At the same time, Mao was given sysop, bureaucrat, and oversight powers on the site, suggesting the arrival of a new "captain" on deck. The result was much good vandalism, most notably on the main page itself, by "Kine", "SEANBOTMK2", "ALECBOTMK2", "EVANBOTMK2", and "Metal Asperchu". Soon, account creation was enabled for all and the website was utterly vandalized in a flurry of [[duck|genitalia]].

===CWCipedia closed to outside edits again===
Early on 22 March, the Sysop returned to the site after being busy on other projects and quickly reversed everything back to the pre-Mao state of the site. However, much of the vandalism continued to remain in the history of many of the pages, and several pages were not changed back, either due to the Sysop skipping them over or not caring.

===Broken dead===
During the early hours of 31 March, the front page of the CWCipedia [[Patti Chandler|decomposed]] into HTML code. This was attributed to the nature of the 110mb server. The [[Honest content|TRUE and HONEST]] version created by [[Mao]] died in July.

===Resurrection===
Whether it was coincidence or an act of Godbearjesus, the CWCipedia came back on Easter Sunday. It is more likely that some technicians actually worked through the Easter weekend just so an autistic manchild can carry on putting up badly drawn comics when he feels like it for his [[fanbase|fans]].

===Traitorous mutiny===
On 24 [[April 2010]], the Sysop uploaded the rest of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and updated the [[Captain's Log]]. However, many quickly learned that these new pages may not have been as TRUE and HONEST as they first appeared, as it involved [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] filing for divorce, [[Reginald Sneasel]] whipping [[pickle|it]] out in front of [[Robbie]], [[Sandy]] getting hit by a car, [[Wild]] committing suicide by blowing his head off, and all three of the [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu kids]] getting killed by drinking detergent (actually, Cerah survived, but was put out of her misery by being smothered with a pillow). Two days later, Chris discovered the vandalization and replaced all of the images with a disclaimer that work on ''Sonichu'' #11 was ongoing. He then called out on the Sysop's "traitorous mutiny", but was willing to forgive her. He then ranted about how he would find peace off the Internet, [[Youtube Finale|suggesting he may]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quit the Internet]]... [[Lie|again]]. ('''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't.)

===A new face===
{{quote|DO NOT "[[South Park|SOUTH PARK]]" MY WORK.|Chris, on Daria's changes.}}
On 13 [[May 2010]], a new user called DariaCamacho appeared on the CWCipedia. She then proceeded to edit the main page and its templates as well as making new character bios. Chris, still highly paranoid after [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], reverted her edits on 14 May. The next day, displaying HTML skills similar to Chris, she broke the main page, which was again reverted, and added a message to her talk page asking Chris why he didn't appreciate her edits. [[Ego|We all know why.]] Chris then added his own response on 16 May, telling her not to "[[South Park]]" his work.

DariaCamacho was eventually revealed to be Mao.

===CWCipedia gets gang-banged (again)===
On 26 May 2010, CWCipedia was hacked, again. And once again, it was open to everyone. Several pages, once blanked and/or deleted were restored, and [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] had the FALSE and DISHONEST comic pages back up.

===CWCipedia abandoned and revived===
Frustrated by this new wave of trolling, Chris, [[100 2188|in a video message]], abandoned ship:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and all therein.]]

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the Internet.

[[List of Chris's lies|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to [[Manchester High School|go back]] to when there was little against me.}}

With the declaration made, the CWCipedia became perfect breeding grounds for [[duck|dicks]] and [[Doctor Robotnik|PINGAS]]. However, Mao Ling swooped in and rescued it. Given to [[Vivian Gee]], the CWCipedia was revived and a new season of ''Sonichu'' began.

===The end===
On 26 June 2010, the CWCipedia (or "''Sonichu'' Fans Wiki", as it had been called by its [[Asperpedia|new owners]]) was finally terminated. Fortunately, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page a copy of the site as it was before the vandalism and takeover] was kept so future generations can witness the monster of fail that was the CWCipedia. The vandalism can be seen on the website as well with a click of the "history" tab.

==See also==
* [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence]]

==External links==
* <s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page CWCipedia]</s> '''DELETED'''
* [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Main_Page CWCipedia (Pre-Vandalism)]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:CWCipedia]]

Template:The Internet

2014-05-02T19:16:38Z

DX10: CWCipedia was referred to as CWCkipedia. This was needlessly confusing and I could find absolutely no reference to it being called 'CWCkipedia'.

{{Navbox
|title = [[Chris and the Internet|The Internet]]
|name = The Internet

|group1 = Chris's websites
|list1 = [[CWC's Pokésite 1]]{{•}} [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]{{•}} [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]{{•}} [[CWC's Cool Profile]]{{•}} [[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]{{•}} [[CWCipedia]]

|group2 = Social networking
|list2 = [[Adult Swim posts]]{{•}} [[PSN blogs]]{{•}} [[Facebook]]{{•}} [[Twitter]]{{•}} [[MySpace]]{{•}} [[Dating profiles]]{{•}} [[Match.com]]{{•}} [[PlayStation Blog]]{{•}} [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]{{•}} [[OkCupid]] ([[List of OkCupid Answers|Answers]])

|group3 = Wikis
|list3 = [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] ([[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|edits]]){{•}} [[Wikipedia]] ([[Chris's Wikipedia profile|profile]]{{•}} [[User:Apostrophe/Chris-Chan talk|talk page]]){{•}} [[CWCipedia]] ([[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|WikiSysop correspondence]]){{•}} [[CWCki]] ([[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]]{{•}} [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]]{{•}} [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]]{{•}} [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]]){{•}}[[TV Tropes]]

|group4 = Forums
|list4 = [[Sonichu Forum]]{{•}} [[Sonichu Girls]]{{•}} [[Trollin Train]]{{•}} [[GameFAQs]]{{•}} [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]{{•}} [[CWCki Forums]]

|group5 = Documented IRL encounters
|list5 = "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]"{{•}} [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]{{•}} [[Chris's resume]]

|group6 = Other
|list6 = [[eBay]]{{•}} [[Craigslist]]{{•}} [[Quizzes]]{{•}} [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]]{{•}} [[deviantART]]{{•}} [[YouTube]] ([[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|comments]]){{•}} [[2013 Imgur Leak|Imgur]]{{•}} [[Other documents]]
}}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to Chris's presence on the [[Internet]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

User:DX10

2014-04-30T13:28:04Z

DX10:

[[File:Dx10VanityPic.png|right|]]
Hello. I am DX10, a worthless sack of bolts from the United Kingdom who exists purely to correct grammar, tense, and parsing errors on a wiki centered around an autistic manchild. Please alert me if you notice any issues with my contributions and I'll amend them if you haven't already. Thanks. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 22:58, 24 April 2014 (UTC)

KCWC broadcast

2014-04-30T13:24:57Z

DX10: Previous version was somewhat confusing. 'Chris seems to fart' gave the illusion he genuinely farted on tape, when really he just made farting noises to sound like combat. Same for the 'high pitched noises' line.

The '''KCWC broadcast''' is a taped "broadcast" of [[KCWC]] that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD]]".

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] "calling in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] seventy-first birthday and humoring Chris like a six-year-old, as well as the fact that many of the songs he plays are from [[video games]]. Though many video games do have catchy themes, no one in their right mind would listen to them over the radio.

Besides the crappy video game music, the only other songs Chris plays are old songs that nobody from his generation onwards has probably ever heard of, all from the 1930s to 1950s by artists such as [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] and [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]]. We can probably thank Bob for [[Chris_and_music#Musical_tastes|Chris's musical tastes]].

The broadcast has several special "guests," notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|''Alvin and the Chipmunks'']], as well as [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]], who, after riding on board [[Daniel Weston|the Mayflower]] to the [[United States of America|new world]], has apparently became a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] fan. Keep in mind, this was made when he was ''sixteen'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].

Also, on the DVD cover, Chris incorrectly says that this was taped in August [[1997]]. This is impossible, as there is a commercial on this tape for [[Wikipedia:Cousin Skeeter|''Cousin Skeeter'']], a show on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]] that premiered in September [[1998]], and Bob wouldn't turn 71 until this month, either.

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-jRds729ZI}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
'''Chris:'''[''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air.

[''Chris poorly imitates the NBC chimes, followed by a weird random noise'']

'''Chris:''' [''ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice''] ''It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler!'' [''ba-ba-ba-bum'']

[tape skips between recording]

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up
[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I feel like [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra]]. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "[[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got the World on a String]]" plays]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]], let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[A recording of [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]] appearing on radio show ''[[Wikipedia:The Fitch Bandwagon|The Fitch Bandwagon]]'' plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, [[Wikipedia:Skip Nelson|Skip Nelson]]'s "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request just a few minutes ago for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aNSPbPdcWZo}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''"[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope [[Homos|he and his friend enjoys themselves]], but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local news]]. Here we are at the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario racetrack]] where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. [[Chris and reality|They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees]], but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris's voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! Here in Richmond it is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his news caster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal $5 million from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a [[Chris and money|$1,000 reward]] to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a $5 million reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for [[Obesity|Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial]] for Cousin Skeeter and Allen Strange toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tAVkrAdqrYU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
The ''Mario Kart 64'' Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that ''Mario Kart 64'' song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme-for the theme song of a very famous [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from-it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call-who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[tape stops and leads to the theme song of "Sonic and Knuckles"]

[tape stops and Chris resumes speaking]

'''Chris:''' And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the "Sonic and Knuckles" theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]]. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the [[Internet]]. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that Sonic & Knuckles song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of Sonic the Hedgehog fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that, uh, game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called "[[Wikipedia:Love and Marriage|Love and Marriage]]". And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 a.m. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris:''' You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little [[Christmas]] song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [pause] I'll tell you then! It's [[Wikipedia:Alvin and the Chipmunks|:Alvin and the Chipmunks]]. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[Chris claps]

'''Chris as one of the Chipmunks: ''' [indistinct]

'''Chris as another Chipmunk: ''' You said it!

'''Chris as the third Chipmunk: ''' We're going [[Tobacky|smoking]]!

'''Chris: ''' Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

'''Chris trying to sound like Alvin: ''' Yeah, it's great, man!

'''Chris: ''' Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play...

[Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends]

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sNKPhZ2ea_w}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris: ''' ...a [[Christmas]] song! I gonna play... ''[Sings in a sing-song voice]'' Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

'''Chris trying to sound like Simon: ''': Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! ''[Annoying laugh]'' Ah ah ah ahh!

'''Chris: ''' Heh heh heh, that's funny, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and ''[indistinct]'' and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4BBori8Ac| Over The River And Through The Woods]" plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris: ''' Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those Chip- wasn't those Chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Lezzie Lylelesh, [''Not sure about this name, someone help?''] and she requested that we play the [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']] song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyWwy0YOmU| Sonic Boom]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, ''[spoken quickly]'' as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, [[Cole_Smithey#Internet_infamy|Toy Story]]! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "[[Wikipedia:You've Got A Friend In Me|You've Got A Friend In Me]]." And boy, wasn't that [[Wikipedia:Buzz Lightyear|Buzz Lightyear]] funny, I mean,

'''Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: ''' To infinity and beyond!

'''Chris: ''' Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and [[Duck|Woody]], with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcXURC_nNhc| You've Got A Friend In Me]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the [[I Love Lucy|''I Love Lucy'' show]]!

'''Chris trying to sound like Lucy:''' ''Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Do you poop out at parties?]] Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Mmm! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!''

'''Chris: ''' Hey there, all you [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]! And the joke goes like this.

'''Chris as his younger self:''' Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Sw3gT38hJNA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris as his younger self:''' ''[resumes mid-joke from part four into part five.]'' -ven. 'Cuz seven, eight nine!

'''Chris:''' ''[Chris laughs]'' Now that's a pretty funny one! Thank you Christopher Chandler. Anyway, our next song is another Disney song and it is entitled ''[Chris badly sings]'' "Ooh, oopey doo, oobey doo, I wanna be like yo-hoo-hou, wapey do-ee do wah!" from the Jungle Book. Yeah, that's right, the Jungle Book. Okay Tink-okay Kemuway take it away. Oh by the way Luey, I don't want to be like you! ''[Chris laughs]''

''[Tape cuts out in the middle of the recording then resumes]''

''"I Wan'na Be Like You" sung by [[Wikipedia:Louis Prima|Louis Prima]] for the Disney film ''[[Wikipedia:The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' plays]''

''[Tape cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'ery thing KCWC. And it is now one-thirty in the afternoon and we're going to-- ''[Chris cuts himself off with vocalized phone rings]'' Uh-oh, gotta call on line one. ''[Bloops and Chris pretends to answer the phone]'' 'Allo! It's your time, what's your rhyme!

'''Barbara Chandler:''' Hello! My name is Barbara Chandler and I'm calling to request a song for my husband for his birthday - ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' His name is [[Bob Chandler]] and he's 71 years old today. ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' ''[In a very-mildly agitated tone]'' and the song I would like to request is "[[Wikipedia:A Bushel and a Peck|A Bushel and a Peck]]". ''[Chris interrupts for a third time]''

'''Chris:''' A bushel on a peck, an' a hug aroun'da neck for a seventy-one-year-old man. ''[light laugh]''

'''Barbara:''' Ah think so. Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' ''[Quickly]'' Okay bye.

'''Barbara:''' Bye.

'''Chris:''' Ya heard it righ' here folks a-a request for birfday boy here. So a Happy Birthday goes out to Robert Chandler. And we will p'say "A Bushel and a Peck" from [[Wikipedia:Guys and Dolls|''Guys and Dolls'']].

''[Tape cuts out, then begins playing "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls]''

''[Tape cuts back in]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'erything [[KCWC]]. And right now we're gonna go down to the top tens- songs. Of them all. Cuz I gotta start up with um'uh-nuh we're gonna start um' right now.

Number Ten is- uh- "[[Wikipedia:Go the Distance|Go the Distance]]" from [[Wikipedia:Hercules (1997 film)|''Hercules'']]. Number Nine is uh- "ccc" from- The Chipmunks. Number Eight is uh- "The Results Theme" from Mario Kart 64. Number Seven is "Saddle Up" is from Virtual Sonic. Number Five is, uh- uh- the uh-Opening theme from Starfox 64. And Number Three is the uh ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD| The Palmtreee Panic]]'' background song from the Sonic's CD. And Number Two is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story. And the number one hit song which we're gon'play up next- uh- "What's More American" sung by Bing Crosby.

Take it away Bing!

''[Tape cuts out at the end of part Five]''

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mHRCvY9GjhU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''There's a long silence until 00:20 when "What's More American" resumes.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC. And right now it is 3 o'clock and we're gonna take a break from the music and get right back to you with the news. Okay, Ted newcaster, take it away!

[''Chris lowers his voice and somehow sounds even more retarded than usual'']

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you, Mr. Chandler! Well first of we're gonna go back to the robbery that's in- that's in- still in progress. Come in copter one.

[''Chris makes noises I presume to be helicopter noises and does the voice for copter one'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Here I am in copter one, folks. Again with the bank manager and we're still chasing the robber. And he's on his- he's nearing his hide-out. Okay, here he is parking his car. Getting out of the car with the five million dollars in his suitcase. [inaudible] And luckily I have a police escort with me so we're gonna land now and catch the burglar. Goin' on down now!

[''Chris makes more helicopter noises'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, here I am now at the place I'm go in and capture that burglar. Okay, lets go!

[''Chris puts on a deeper, more authoritative voice, presumably pretending to be a policeman'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Okay, Robber! You got five seconds to get outta there with the five million dollars or we gonna bust on in and get it ourselves. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Okay men, send them in.

[''Chris makes farting noises, attempting to imitate gunshots and the sound of a door being kicked in.'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Alright, we got ya surrounded! Come out with your hands up!

[''Chris puts on a very high pitched, rapid voice.'']

'''Chris as robber:''' Okay, okay! I'm out, please don't shoot! Don't shoot! Dont't shoot! I give up! I give up! I give up! Here's the five million dollars. I give up! I give up! Please take me in! Take me in! I'll never commit a crime anymore.

'''Chris as policeman:''' Good job, men! Listen, five million dollars gets a thousand dollar reward. Donate it to the Richmond station. Okay, c'mon men, lets get outta here!

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' And there you have it. We just had the capture of the burglar and the retrieving of the five million dollars. So tell me, Mr. bank manager, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as the bank manager:''' Well, all I have to say is that I [inaudible]. He sang like a true coward. So, and he's gonna- he also face going to jail so he might give up the life of crime and I won't have any more money stolen. That's all I have to say.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, you heard right here live on station KCWC. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you- thank you, copter one. Okay, right now we're gonna go back to the weather. Weatherboy...

'''Chris as Weatherboy:''' [clears throat] Eh, yes, and right now it is- right now it is 91 degrees and now it's mostly cloudy. There's a little sunshine right there, but we don't have any rain coming. No, sir! Right now they say it's only a 20% chance of rain. But tonight, it'll be perfectly clear and 79 degrees and tomorrow there'll be a slight chance- there'll be slight chance of rain. 30% chance, to be exact! And that's all I have to say. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, Weatherboy! And right now we're gonna go back to Chicago for another- for some more sports. We go down the basketball game between the, ah, the, ah, what is it? Oh yeah, the Chicago Bulls and New York Nicks. And the Bulls have won the base- the basketball game. That's a score of 53 to 50! Anyway, the Bulls won the baseball game. Okay, that's all I have to say about the sports! Now we're gonna take you live to the race track on Mario Kart 64.

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Okay, here we are at the race track and there Yoshi and Mario are fine. And they're wearing these [inaudible] and their karts are out of repair so- and we are about to start a kart race for the flower cup. And we're gonna give full coverage on Mario. Su- so here we are about to start the race. Lets go live!

[''There is the noise of a Mario Kart 64 race starting up'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Here we are at Toad's Turnpike, and the race is about to start, folks! On your mark, get set, go. And here we go with the race. Keep an eye on Mario, now, cause he's our main man. Mar- And, ah, he's in third place right now. Ahead of him is Koopa and ahead of Koopa is Peach. Oh, and he makes a splendid right hand turn. Oh, and he give a green shell which he picked up to Koopa. He's closing in on Peach. He's making another turn. Oh, but peach turns ghost. Now Mario picks up another item. He shoots a green shell and gets a ghost. Uh oh! Oh, he got into the green shell he shot and now he see's the other one and he uses a ghost and what does he get? Oh, from that ghost he receives a red shell, and he bounces it off trucks, no problem. He raises his red shell and on a stair way he shoots it, and it won't hit Peach because she ha- had a banana on her, and Mario has picked up another red shell. He's raised it and he shoots it. Is it gonna hit Peach? I don't know, folks. It knocks Peach against a wall. Mario picks up... Oh man, somebody has shot a lightning bolt. It's Luigi! Oh man, Mario's on a dirt place. Oh, and Mario goes back to full size and so has everybody else. Now with only two shells, he makes another turn. On turn, he picks up another item. He shoots, and picks up a mushroom! And is on his final green shell he had to use it because Koopa had his coming. So, Mario uses the final green shell. Uh oh! Oh, [inaudible] he uses a mushroom and
he got plenty of mystery items, and he's still in second place, folks. Peach is way ahead. [inaudible] make first place but lets keep an eye on him, anyway. He's got a mystery box, a decoy box. And he puts it in- he lets it go. And he get another item, it's a red shell! I don't think it'll make Peach but he goes on ahead and shoots it, and he hits a banana peel. Oh, and he goes into a major peel out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the best races I ever seen in my life. One of the most exciting, too. Okay, and Mario makes another turn. He picks up another item. It's a lightning bolt! How lucky is that? And everybody has gotten shrunk except for Mario. And Mario hits a banana peel but he doesn't slip. He must have hit the break. And now he picks up a set of green sh- set of three green shells. Mario passes a couple of trucks. Now, he's making another turn. He almost slipped on a banana peel but the- one of his green shells took the hit for him. This is the third lap, folks. And he's almost towards the finish line. Oh, and he goes between a [inaudible] and a truck magnificently. And he passes the finish line with second place. And first place is Peach, Mario is followed by Koopa and Koopa is followed by Donkey Kong and the rest are in the last four positions. We take you now to the results. Mario is in second place with six. Peach is in first with nine. Koopa at- with three. And Donkey Kong with with one. And the rest have zero. And now we go to the next race, in Frappe Snowland, and Mario in position in second place. On your mark, get set. Oh, and Mario takes a rocket boost to start as he's tring to go to his right. He picks up...

[Chris gets cut off mid-sentence as part six ends]

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I7RFF2spayw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''Mario Kart commentating continues from last video'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' ... an item. It's a banana peel, and he is in first place. How will he use his banana peel? Just right at the turn. Now he's going over the hill. Oh, and it looks like he hit somebody. I'm not sure who it was, but he hit somebody. Oh, and he picks up a green shell, he uses it, it hits Peach. Peach is still in second place, though, but, uh, Mario is still is first. He's way ahead by some. Oh, and Mario picks up a red shell. Don't think there'll be a need for that, but he's got one. And Peach is closing in on him. He crosses the bridge. He's on his second lap! He starts the second lap, folks. He gets- he picks up another item. He lets go of- he releases his red shell, and he picks up a banana line-up. Oh, and Peach has passed him. Now Mario's in second. He throws the banana peel and Ma- and Peach slips. And he's still got the bana- got one banana peel left. And he picks up another item. It's a single banana. How's he uses it? Simple! He uses it in the- in the lot of mystery boxes. And he picks up a single mushroom as his item. How will he use it? He's keeping it. Lets see what happens, though. He makes another turn, on the curbs. He makes another- other turns. He's really keeping that mushroom, though. Not using it. He's still making his other turns. He's going over the hill. He still hasn't used his mushroom, yet. Now he goes through the field of snowmen. Now he makes another turn. Oh, and he uses that mushroom to go over that snail hill for a short-cut. Now- now he picks up another item. It's a single banana peel. And he makes another turn. Oh, but hit the wall before he can make his turn. He's lost the banana. And he crosses the bridge. And he wins in first place! That was a magnificent race, folks. Mario in first place, followed by Donkey Kong, the Koopa, then Yoshi and the rest on the last four positions. Lets go live to the results. Mario's in the lead with fifteen points. Peach is in second with nine. Donkey Kong with seven. Koopa with six. And Yoshi probaby got some points. He picked up one point and is in fifth place. The rest have zero. Now lets go live to the next race. Which is Chocolate Mountain! And Mario's in position. Ready! Set! Go! Oh, and Mario picks up another rocket boost at start. And he gets to another turn. He picks up an item. It's a single mushroom. Might as well gonna save that one for later. Now he's making another turn on the wide turn. He does it successfully. He goes through the boxes. And he still hasn't u- oh, and he hits something. He hits a hill. And, uh, Toad and Donkey Kong have past him, because he was probably thinking about something else. But right now Mario is back and he picks up three green shells. And he uses one on Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong gets Toad in a chain reaction. Now Mario is still in first place. He's still got... [inaudible]... closing in on him. He shoots one green shell to pick up an item, and it's a green she- it's another green shell. And he uses it that third green shell on Koopa. And he pulls out his new green shell. What's he gonna do with it? He shoots it behind him. And he picks up another green shell from the other item boxes. He shoots that behind him. Now he has no items. And Donkey Kong is closing in on him. But it looks like somebody [inaudible] but I dont think it was Donkey Kong. Now new item pick up. It's a red shell. And he uses immediately and hits... uh-oh, a koopa has hit Mario. He's fallen behind. He's in fourth place. No wait, now he's in third. He picks up three mushrooms. He uses them. And uses the third one to go ahead of Toad aaaand Koopa and he's out way in the lead. And Donkey Kong is somewhere 'round the hill. And Mario picks up a mushroom, now he's in second place. Now he's started using his unlimited mushroom. He makes a turn. He's still in second. He uses his mushroom. Oh, and there's Koopa not far ahead. But I'll take Mario and make it first place. Donkey Kong second and Mario makes third place. Ladies and gentlemen, was a magnificent racde, if I do say so myself. Koopa won, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Mario, followed by Toad. I'll take you live to the results. Mario's still in first place with eighteen. Koopa with fifteen. Donkey Kong with thirteen. Peach with nine. And Yoshi and Toad tied in fifth place with one. The rest have zero. Now we take you live to the next race, in the Mario Raceway. This is the final race, folks! Mario's in positions at third place. On your mark! Get set! Go! And Mario takes another rocket boost at start and he hops over Koopa. Now he picks up an item. It's a decoy mystery box. And he drops it. He make another turn. He goes around that mushroom. He picks up another item. It's a green shell, and almost straight away he shoots it behind him, but it hits nobody. Now he making his auto-turn. And he goes across the sand using another turn. And Koopa is directly behind him. But Mario is still in first place. Uh oh, he hit the grass. And Ma- and Koopa [inaudible] but he didn't pass. Mario picked up a green shell. Uh oh, Koopa's passed him. But Mario shoots his green shell and timed it right, hit Koopa. Now Peach is in second but Mario is still first. And Mario picked up... five banana peel and he uses them all straight away. And now he's taking a sneaky short-cut again usaing his auto-turn. He's way, way ahead, folks. And now he's in for the final lap. He picks up another item. And it is another green shell. He shoots it behind him. He's making his auto-turns. He's going around the mushroom. He making an auto-turn. And he picks up a mushroo- a single mushroom. I notice how he use that to hit the grass and sandy short-cut. That's a long short-cut, folks. And now Mario's passing through a tunnel. Uh oh, He makes and wrong turn and goes the wrong way. But now he's still in first place and passes finish line. Wins with first place. Ladies and gentlemen, that was a magificent race. Mario won in first, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Koopa and followed by Peach and the rest are in the last places. Lets go live to the results. Mario's won with 27 points, followed by Donkey Kong with nineteen and I didn't get to see the rest. Right, now here we are at the trophy ceremony live at Peach's castle. Let's go live. Here comes Mario as the first place winner. And here comes Donkey Kong in the third place mount. And Koopa coming up in the secon- uh here's come Koopa coming in the third place mount. I don't know. Lets see how it comes up, though. Mario get the win with first place, Donkey Kong with second an Koopa with third. And here comes the floating glow fish. He's got the trophy for Mario and the trophy is GOLD! This was a bunch of magnificent races, folks. Tell me Mario, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as Mario:''' [''his voices starts out very high pitch then lowers rather drastically''] Well, all I have to say it feel go to be a winner. I always feel like a real winner. I just need more winning, that's all. [inaudible] Thank you very much! Back to you!

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Alright! Now that's enough for the races. Back to you Ted Baster!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you! Now that's it for the Mario Kart races. Now we go back to the music. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Alright! Thank you, Ted Baster! As you know it was three o'clock before the news started but right now, with the, since we were just mplayingMario Kart 64, we are now going live with Starfox music. We gonna play the, ah, famous song from that game, Titania and Macbeth. Take it away, Fox McCloud.

[''Tape stop and resumes with Starfox 64 - Titania and Macbeth'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everyth-

[''Chris is cut off in the middle of a word'']

===Part VIII===
<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VIII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zb_pxF21DWU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====

''[Video cuts in mid sentence from previous video]''

'''Chris:''' -ing KCWC and we're about to play a couple of Disney songs now. First one we're gonna play is uh-- a good one from Aladdin and the King of Thieves. It's-it's out. Are you in or out? I don't know whether I'm in or out! ''[fake laugh]''. Dagum I'm inside... aw skip it! Anyway, here's a Disney song. Take it away, Aladdin.

''[Audio cuts out for a moment then begins playing ''Are You In Or Out?" from Aladdin and the King of Thieves.]''

''[Audio cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are tuned in to everything KCWC and it is now 9:30PM I promised you two Disney songs and I'm gonna give you the second one. It is from the movie Pocahontas and it is entitled "Just Around the River Bend." That is a very nice song you know. So take it away Pocahontas!

''[Audio cuts then begins playing "Just Around the River Bend" from Pocahontas.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' And we're back. You're listening to everything KCWC an' right now we're gonna throw another contest. Just the last one for the day and we're gonna play another song from a movie. An' if you can call in- and guess what movie this song- is from I will award that person- with a CD entitled "Frank Sinatra: The Capitol Collectors Series". An' right now we're gonna give you the song. Oh yeah, and remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Hope you enjoy the song and I hope somebody calls in. Course I'll take anybody who'll give me de right answer. Take it away mysterious song.

''[Audio skips then begins playing "Cotton Blossom" from Show Boat.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC an' right now it is a quarter to midnight. While-uh-we don't-uh I'm sorry to say, but we don't have a winner for dat- last contest. By the way that was duh-"Cotton Blossom" from the movie Show Boat. I guess nobody wanted a CD. OH well, I'll just save it for next time. But right now we're about to close up our station for the night. Bu-bu-but we're gonna give off a final little number by Frankie Sinatra. It was entitled "-igh Hopes" and I have high hopes in ya'll having good dreams tonight. ''[Elmer Fudd laugh]'' Well, good night folks. Alright, take it away Frankie, again.

''[Audio skips and begins playing "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Video cuts out in the middle of the song.]''

===Part IX===

<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TqKfySVHtpM}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
''[Video cuts in during the middle of "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Audio changes to "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[So Need a Cute Girl]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing out of tune to his own lyrics]'' Heey! Look at me! I'm sitting here sad and lonely without a fire, but a desire to not hear you say ''[in a high-pitched voice]'' "I have a boyfriend!" And I see the ladies walking along one by one! And I never wanna hear," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! Tell me why! I so need a cute girl my age! Tell me why! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" And I have no fire, but a desire. But I can not hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Why do all of the jerks-

''[trails off] [pause]''

'''Chris:''' Get all of the pretty girls, yeah! You may not know this, but I want'chu to know that I am a lonesome heart! And I have no fire, but uh, desire... To not! To not! To not! Heear! ''[unintelligible]'' UH-a a vir'in wi' rage! So need a cute girl my age! I never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Never say it now!

''[Audio cuts out before the song finishes]''

''[New audio begins, playing "Sonic Drive" by Hironobu Kageyama and Hideaki Takatori from [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|''Sonic X'']]. See also: [[Sonichu Zip]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing along to the lyrics.]'' S-O-N-I-C-H-U! S-O-N-I-C-H-U! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Most of the song is almost completely unintelligible due to the pitch of Chris's voice against the guitars and Japanese vocals]''

'''Chris:''' Born from energy of extreme power! Go wild and free at the speed of sound! Y'all keep it together in Pallet Town! And Pokémon! I have a girl! [[Rosechu]]! Fighting with physical power! Normal body shocks all villains! In a world with humans and Pokémon! Hey, look! There’s Sonic the Hedgehog!

''[Chris trails off, then back in]''

Zappin' together! Let's zip! No matter how you try, He's uncatchable! Go, Sonichu! Zipping along! Yes, Sonichu! appin' the villains when you are there! Yeah! C’mon! You’re the greatest friend! Conquer trouble! Save you all, and zip away! S-O-N-I-CHU! S-O-N-I-CHU! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Song ends then begins a new song titled "Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]]''

'''Chris:''' Are you ready to paaardaaaay! I've-been high feelin' like an outcast, alright! But let me tell you, I need some friends now, alri-EE-ght? All of this time I'm livin uuunn-oooo-O! All you peopl- what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! That is autism and that makes us seem special-- to you! I'm lookin' at you all and I see a rainbow! Come on! You think I'm different in every way, come on! All of the time past, I've been on hon-ooOO-O-roo-l! A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!

''[Chris begins howling, attempting to stay in tune with the song.]''

'''Chris:''' All of this time I've never been kn-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-OOwn ''[more howling/moaning]''. A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! ''[pause in singing]'' A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special to you!

''[Audio stops then starts up again with "[[Wikipedia:If Only Tears Could Bring You Back|If Only Tears Could Bring You Back]]" by Midnight Sons from ''[[Wikipedia:Pokémon:The First Movie|Pokémon: The First Movie]]''. See also: [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[singing over the original lyrics]'' –It took me a while, but I have realized that you are the one that can soothe my ''loneliness'' Is it too gul- Are you too busy to hang wit an ol' b- frien-

''[Video is cut off during the song]''

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]

Mailbag 25

2014-04-25T18:20:37Z

DX10: Correct terminology dictates the opposite gender would follow. "Transsexual man" would mean a woman transitioning to the male gender, and vice versa.

'''Mailbag 25''' was posted to the [[CWCipedia]] on 28 [[December 2009]] by the CWCipedia's Sysop. It was answered the 29 December 2009.

Chris explains that when he calls himself "high-functioning", he really just means that he's high-functioning when compared to people who are [[slow-in-the-minds|severely mentally handicapped]]. Chris also reveals that he spends 2-3 hours every day just playing with toys. (So much for "high-functioning".) Perhaps more shocking is Chris's solution to infidelity, which involves having sex with members of your significant other's family. (Unsurprisingly, he most likely got this idea from [[Wikipedia:Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey|an episode]] of ''[[Family Guy]]''.) Other highlights include confirmation that Chris lies to his parents, his explosive reaction to a transsexual woman (who he incorrectly identifies as a hermaphrodite), and an as-of-yet unexplained disapproval of giving birth via Cesarean section.

==Answered==

===In which Chris copy-pastes stuff he does not understand===
{{Email|From: [[Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>
Yo, what up it's your best friend fo' lyfe! Just wonderin' if you can help me with Hamster HTML 101 cuz ur so great with that shit. It ain't cheating!

1. What is bandwidth? 
2. What is HTML?

Well that's all I need help with! CHILLIN'!}}
{{EmailReply|You could have look up the terms on [[Wikipedia]], and I quote, "In computer networking and computer science, digital bandwidth, network bandwidth or just bandwidth is a measure of available or consumed data communication resources expressed in bit/s or multiples of it (kbit/s, Mbit/s etc)." "HTML, which stands for HyperText Markup Language, is the predominant markup language for web pages. It provides a means to create structured documents by denoting structural semantics for text such as headings, paragraphs, lists etc as well as for links, quotes, and other items."}}

===This is perhaps the worst advice Chris has ever given===
{{Email|From: eddie V thunderpuncher@yahoo.com
Dear Chris, 
I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now, I've heard that you're supposed to stay with your first girlfriend because no one else will take her place, but I'm in a bit of a dilemma. What would you do, Christian, if your true and honest [[sweetheart]] ever went after another man behind your back?

Sincerely, eddie.}}
{{EmailReply|I would talk with her; tell her how you feel about her doing those things with this other dude, but DO NOT voice [[Death threats|threat]] or [[Chris and anger|anger]]; Maintain a [[Chris and hypocrisy|CALM Voice Tone]]. Then Listen and Comprehend fully on her side of the story without suspicion. Ask her not to do those things with that guy, or come to a compromise; she did that dude, so you could do one of her friends or family with her full knowledge and consent of the act; in that case, she would see from her point of view how you felt when she went out and did that dude.}}

===In which Chris admits he lied to Bob===
{{Email|From: [[Wiki:Jeffrey Archer|Jeffrey Archer]] <jeffreyarcher@politician.com>
Dear Chris,

As a loyal [[Sonichu]] fan I remember that not too long ago you commanded all copies of your [[house]] tour for [[Ivy]] be removed from the internet. Well, I took down the version I put up right away but when I did a search I was horrified that even more copies were put up.

Then I saw the video of [[Bob Chandler|your Dad]] yelling at you. How was this resolved? Did you lie to him and tell him that all copies were taken off the internet?

Your fan,
Jeffrey}}
{{EmailReply|I did tell him that it was removed from the internet, and he is still ticked off at me for ever putting it up in the first place.}}

===In which Chris tells someone to give random women sex toys===
{{Email|From: iluvlittlegirls@hotmail.com
Dear Chris,

I recently turned 18, and am interested in buying some pornography DVDs. However, I know very little about the genre. Which porn movies are your favorite? I am interested in both hard- and soft-core movies.

Sincerely,

[[Wikipedia:Peter Sotos|Peter Sotos]]}}
{{EmailReply|Soft-Core you can easily watch from Cinemax or HBO; for the Hard-Core, I recommend anything with one man/one woman videos; you can view the variety of DVDs on http://www.adameve.com for your choosing. Be aware of the "Free Gift(s)" they send you with a purchase of $17 or more; they may send you items such as [[dildo]]s and beads; if you receive such items suitable for women, I would leave the items UNOPENED and offer them to your consenting adult women friends, or any women they may know.}}

===High functioning babble===
{{Email|From: sentientmachine11@gmail.com
Hello there Chris

I have noticed that you claim to be a high-functioning [[autistic]] male. What exactly does "high functioning autistic" mean? You say it a lot but never really give a clear definition. I could look it up on Wikipedia but I would rather go right to the source which would be you. People on Wikipedia tend to vandalize articles with misinformation.

So yeah, please elaborate on that. I'm rather confused.

Have a nice day.

-John Matrix}}
{{EmailReply|Well, thank you kindly for asking for my input on the subject. Versus Low-Functioning individuals who generally are likely mentally retarded to a point where all they can say are moans and groans, have Limited physical motion (such as keeping their arms and hands in Praying Mantis position and resists reaching out, or keeping their mouths wide open very often), may be confined in wheelchairs, crutches or such, or may possibly be [[Duck|deformed physically]]. High-Functioning individuals, such as myself, have better mental capabilities and functions, have better physical motion, and likely are more similar to functioning normal people. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:50, 30 December 2009 (CET)}}

===It's a trap!===
{{Email|From: "[[wikipedia: Bailey-Jay Granger|Bailey Jay]]" <baileyjay@gmail.com>
Hey Chris!! Thank you for your [[Mailbag 8#It's a trap|reply]]! And thank you for calling me cute :3 you're a pretty handsome guy yourself, but you know that already ;)

I think my biggest problem with boys is that like you I am also e-famous, and people are afraid to approach me because they are intimidated by that! 
I have been online modelling for a while now, and so I think boys get nervous around me... lol :(

Do you have that problem too? Do you think that girls don't approach you because they are intimidated by how famous you are?

Anyways, if you're interested, here are some of my pics ;)

They range from cute...

i50.tinypic.com/2gtp2l4.jpg

to downright NAUGHTY :D

bayimg.com/image/najnjaacd.jpg

hope you enjoy!!

-XOXOoxOXOXOXOoxOXOxooXXO

BJ}}
{{EmailReply|OH MY GOD!!! [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]] ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "[[Wikipedia:The Crying Game|The Crying Game]]", or the [[Wikipedia: A Brown Thanksgiving|Thanksgiving episode]] of "[[The Cleveland Show]]".}}

===Chris disapproves of c-sections for some reason===
{{Email|From: meshellbel@aol.com

Dear Chris--

Hello and good day! My name is Diana and I've read Sonichu over the past year and can honestly say it's the best comic I've EVER read. My husband and I read it together every night (Thank you SO much for your daily pages! The suspense kills me!) To be honest, your comic pages of [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu..."together" gave my husband and I "inspiration" for our own "together time"

Anyway, after two years of marriage my husband and I have finally conceived our first child and I'd like to thank you for your comic pages, I can't help but feel you helped this to come about. I'm due in March and I'll be finding out the gender of the baby soon.

Now to my questions. My husband and I are not close with our respectful families and I have no one to ask about bringing up a child, my friends don't have children yet. So I value your opinions on the following, to supplement my research:

1. Should I "spoil" my child? Is there anything wrong with getting them the things they want? It's not easy being a kid...

2. What should I feed my child? My husband and I run our own business, so we aren't home often. I'll require [[Abusive babysitter|a baby sitter]], so I don't want them burning up the kitchen

3. How much television should I allow my child to watch?

4. My husband and I don't make much money, we can barely support ourselves, so how can I save money on things the baby needs?

And well...this doesn't pertain to the baby's upbringing but...

5. Can I still have sex while I'm pregnant? What are possible consequences if I do?

6. Should I get a c-section or have a natural birth?

7. Should I breastfeed?

Any further input you can offer would be much appreciated. Thank you for your hardwork on the comic pages, keep on zappin' !

Love, Diana}}
{{EmailReply|1) It's okay to treat the child, but do not do it too much; [[Barbara|spoiling the child]] will likely lower the chance of the child learning the valuable lesson of self-reliance [[monthly tugboat|and independence]]. 2) Bottles of Milk are best for a while up till a certain age (look it up on the internet or your local library). 3) 1 or 2 hours a day, and turn on the Closed Captions for helping the child learn to read faster. 4) [[Chris and Money|LESS SPENDING and IMPULSE SHOPPING/BUYING]]; also hire an accountant to help you there. 5) I think it's okay, but google the topic to learn for sure. 6) NATURAL! 7) It is an option; you can look up the benefits and possible risks online too.}}

===Chris on the nature of sin===
{{Email|From: Team CWCket <TeamCWCket@gmail.com>
Hey Chris, it's the girls from Team CWCket again! Sorry about the new e-mail - it turns out that football hooligans from over here in the UK hacked yourcricketteam.co.uk and sabotaged most of the mailboxes. If you tried to send us anything, you should use the new address.

Bit of a serious note this one - we were watching your video about [[Jack]] and [[Clyde]] after practice today, and you mentioned having a [[gal-pal]] who is a [[lesbian]]. As you can imagine, on an all-girl sports team sometimes there's... tensions and issues surrounding that particular subject, so I was wondering whether you had any insight you could offer us about it.

- How did you find out your friend was [[gay]]? 
- How did you react? 
- You seem very accepting of her lifestyle, and it sounds like you're more comfortable around her than you would be around male homosexuals. Why is that? 
- Do you think women should avoid lesbians in the same way you tend to keep a distance from male homosexuals, or should they get to know each other? 
- Are lesbians morally "better" than male homos? I know you are much more angry about the sort of acts male homosexuals perform.

Sorry that this one was a bit heavy, but it's caused a bit of debate on the team, so I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Keep a happy thought!

All your gal-pals on Team CWCket.}}
{{EmailReply|1) She told me herself. 2) I was surprised, but I accepted it soon after. 3) I was always less comfortable with men; one of my character flaws you may say. But regardless, I still detest homosexual men, yet I do not discriminate against them as individual people. 4) As long as the woman KNOWS fully that she is Straight and will remain that way, it is okay to be friends with lesbians; do not go beyond just friends. 5) Morally, yes.}}

===Balding issues===
{{Email|From: Mark Green <everydoor42@yahoo.com>
I'm in my twenties and have started going bald. I noticed you are balding too, and much more rapidly than I am. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I know a lot of guys, when they start losing their [[hair]], shave it all off, but you've embraced your thining hairline. How did you do that? How did you come to accept your hair loss and the shame attached to it? I'll appreciate any help you can offer me as a man who is also suffering through baldness.}}
{{EmailReply|I generally do not think about balding issues; as long as I still have mine, it is good. Yet when it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge.}}

===In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day===
{{Email|From: Doug Bunny <since1915@yahoo.com>
How often do you play with toys (how many hours, per day, would you say you spend, on average, playing with toys)?}}
{{EmailReply|I don't know, about 2 or 3, I Estimate.}}

===Chris on mindless materialism===
{{Email|From: naturalelection@aol.com
What do you want for your 28th birthday? Do you know if your friends are planning to do anything special for you?}}
{{EmailReply|I do not know yet of what I want to do, and I will learn of any plans when they come up.}}

===Magi-Chan is gay===
{{Email|From: flambai@hotmail.com

Hey CWC!

Thanks for answering my previous questions, but i have some more.

1) Why is it [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Blake]] didn't attend Dating Education?

2) If all of the [[Sonichus]] and [[Rosechus]] had a huge fight, who would win?

Please reply soon!
Sarah Lutt}}
{{EmailReply|1) Blake is in his relationship with [[Bubbles]]; he did not need to take the class. Magi-Chan keeps to himself mostly; he did not see fit to take the class. 2) I am not sure.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Chris's disgusting home===
{{Email|From: privatesnazz@aol.com

How can your kitchen be so filthy? I wouldn't eat anything that comes out of it, and you should be ashamed to put it up on the internet.}}

===Straight guys don't drink their own semen===
{{Email|From: Seth Sethson <totallyfine2@gmail.com>

Chris, only one of the images in New York was photoshopped. There were like five total. Do the math.

New York still knows that you drink your own semen, and thus they all think that you're gay.

Also, there was an image of your mother put up. How's she reacting?}}
{{EmailReply|I am Straight, regardless of how much the [[Trolls]] may try to defile and slander my image.}}

{{Mailbag}}

User:DX10

2014-04-24T22:58:30Z

DX10: Created page with "right| Hello. I am DX10, a worthless sack of bolts from the United Kingdom who exists purely to correct grammar, tense, and parsing errors on ..."

[[File:Dx10VanityPic.png|thumb|right|]]
Hello. I am DX10, a worthless sack of bolts from the United Kingdom who exists purely to correct grammar, tense, and parsing errors on a wiki centered around an autistic manchild. Please alert me if you notice any issues with my contributions and I'll amend them if you haven't already. Thanks. --[[User:DX10|DX10]] ([[User talk:DX10|talk]]) 22:58, 24 April 2014 (UTC)

File:Dx10VanityPic.png

2014-04-24T22:53:04Z

DX10: DX10 uploaded a new version of "File:Dx10VanityPic.png"

A hasty 'vanity' image for my userpage. I noticed others had non-CWC related art on their userpages so I thought this might be acceptable. If it's not, please drive a mallet up my arse and delete this image.

File:Dx10VanityPic.png

2014-04-24T22:51:34Z

DX10: A hasty 'vanity' image for my userpage. I noticed others had non-CWC related art on their userpages so I thought this might be acceptable. If it's not, please drive a mallet up my arse and delete this image.

Clyde Cash

2014-03-31T22:34:27Z

DX10: Miniscule grammatical tweak.

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Children'''
| Penny Cash
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Christian|Chris]]'s [[trolls]], often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite him in the ass, such as his [[Chris%27s_resume|unwillingness to work]], [[Chris and money|spending habits]], his [[Women's rights|poor treatment of women]] and even [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|predicted]] Chris' innate desire to [[Tomgirl Saga|dress like a woman.]]

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually within the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[I am STRAIGHT|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[trolls|troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected foul play.
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]

After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Shit Was So Cash!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|32XiZC2yG1Y}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2010]]
| maker = Psycatalyst
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]

{{Clyde Saga}}

{{Trolls}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

CWCki Forums

2014-03-11T17:24:39Z

DX10: Miniscule grammatical tweak.

[[Image:CWCki_Forums_as_Guest.png|thumb|A view of the forum as a Guest. In order to view forum content for General or Lolcow General, you must register for an account.]]

{{quote|Why don't you and that damn [[Cwcki]] just go ahead and die off the [[Internet]] already so I can finally find some peace of my life?|[[Chris]] says 'Hello' to the forum users as "paintingatree", 23 May 2013.}}
{{quote|You God Damn Pinheads!!!! I have already told you; Chris has told you!!!! The Riddle's answer was the FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!! CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED HOMO!!!! CHRISTIAN IS STRAIGHT!!!! He gets hard over women!! He vomits at males!!

GET IT THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMNED, DEMENTED, THICK SKULLS, YOU GOD DAMNED PINHEADS!!!!

I should know very well, because I Am Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, himself!!!!

You god damned [[JERKS|males]] make me vomit, sick and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]!!|Chris on 24 August 2013}}
[[File:137704626985.jpg|thumb|400px|This is basically it.]]
The [https://www.cwckiforums.com/ '''CWCki Forums'''] is a message board loosely affiliated with the [[CWCki]]. It is frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical. Its primary purpose is to allow users to discuss and speculate about [[Chris]], without needing to do so in the [[CWCki:NAF|CWCki talk pages]]. Previously hosted on Yuku, the forum had two incarnations hosted on Forumer and a Forumms.net incarnation since January 2012, but currently, since 3 February 2013, its address is https://www.cwckiforums.com/.

It's assumed that Chris lurks on the boards regularly, and screenshots of the forum have appeared on his [[Facebook]] account. His exact motivations for doing this are not clear, but it has been speculated that he intended to use the screen caps as proof of a troll conspiracy including [[Michael Snyder]]. Robert Bell, Chris's lawyer, was apparently unpersuaded by Chris's legal acumen and did not enter any screen caps into evidence.

It is also known that Chris was even posting on one of previous incarnations of the forum in 2012, under nickname "paintingatree". In his few posts, he generally tried to defend himself under the guise of a remorseful troll. This fact alone, as well as his [[Chris and writing|writing style]], and posting habits (posting rarely, never in the same thread again and never trying to start a conversation with other users) made his presence somewhat a open secret.

Surprisingly, Chris registered again under the same nickname in February 2013. He wrote the first post on 23 May, in which he made it clear that it was him. In spite of this, [[Slow-in-the-minds|in other posts he pretended to be someone else.]] As it could be expected, he was trying to defend himself again (mostly from accusations of being [[Homos|homosexual]], since many users, knowing that they're being watched, jokingly concluded that the meaning behind his absurd [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook riddle]] is that Chris wants to [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|come out of the closet]]), and was very rude to the users in almost all of his posts. Being in the process of adding old friends from his [[Manchester High|high school]] on FB, he also asked if anybody found [[Tiffany Gowen]].

==Boards==
Most boards on the CWCki Forums are about discussing Chris or the forum itself.

* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=8 '''Chris'''] - General discussion and speculation about Chris, his activities, and the world of [[Christory]].
** [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=11 '''What If?'''] - Speculation that is more eccentric or off-topic, such as: "''What if Chris preferred [[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Purple Fanta]]?''"
* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=9 '''Sonichu'''] - Discussion of the [[Continuity_in_the_Sonichu_comics|Sonichu canon]].
* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=21 '''Lolcow General'''] - A relatively recent addition that allows for discussion about other persons of interest.
* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=10 '''General'''] - Displayed publicly, but one can only read the forum and its sub-forums after making a few posts. It was used to discuss anything other than Chris (e.g. video games, music), and it once became restricted in [[January_2012|January]] due to low quality of posts by less insightful posters.
* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=7 '''CWCki Forum'''] - A board for discussing changes to the forum itself.
** [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewforum.php?f=19&sid=80f896c6f6fcddfd6ff87dc5ee8b9f73 '''Spergatory'''] - A public trash bin for [[Asperger_syndrome|less insightful posters' threads]].

==Chris's posts==
Below are the posts Chris wrote under pseudonym paintingatree between 23 May and 2 September 2013. Unfortunately, all of his posts from the old Forumer incarnation from 2012 seem to be lost. Chris's posts are in blue, while posts in threads he was responding to are in red.

===Re: DreamHost and a possible migration===
{{quoteboxred|'''by Marvin » Wed May 22, 2013 1:00 am'''
Uhh, all the cool kids use linode. Also, I'd whatever the whatever you're asking us to whatever, but I'm too drunk to do it properly and/or usefully right now, so, maybe when I'm sober.|Marvin}}

And then, [[Pokémon|a wild Chris-Chan appears]]:

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Thu May 23, 2013 7:36 am'''
Why don't you and that damn [[Cwcki]] just go ahead and die off the [[Internet]] already so I can finally find some peace of my life?<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1126&p=38206#p38206]</ref>}}

He received thanks from 22 users (and still counting) for this post.

===Re: Should Chris Consider Dating A 'Special' Girl?===
{{quoteboxred|'''by Thetan » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:42 pm'''
Rather than constantly whining about how lonely he is, Chris should consider revising his sweetheart standards. He has set the bar far too high for himself. He couldn't even make things work out with Faeryn or The Wallflower.

Chris could do well with a 'special' girl: potentially someone mildly mentally retarded who enjoys the same childish things he does. They could enjoy each other's company, coloring and watching cartoons together. As long as they don't have unprotected sex, I don't see a problem with this type of relationship.

Such a person may actually find Chris interesting, look up to him, and hang onto his every word. The relationship would not only alleviate his loneliness, but be good for his ego as well.|Thetan <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1327#p46205]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:48 pm'''
In response to your question, I ask you a question. Would YOU, in full honesty, full truth, in your right mind, at all, date a "Special Girl"? How would you feel if you woke up the next morning with droning moaning and blather coming from the face next to you?<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1327&p=71503#p71503]</ref>}}

===Re: Tiffany Gowen===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:20 pm'''
Hey, whatever happened to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]? Didn't she get [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]] or something? Like, dude, where did she go; has anyone found her?<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1195&p=74381#p74381]</ref>}}

Most noteworthy response:

{{quoteboxred|'''by applecat » Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:14 am'''
I found her! It was tough because she didn't have a Facebook, but I made sure to send her a link to the CWCki so she would know to stay away from that horrible man. She was very disappointed in him, but she thanked me for the tip-off. That's one more gal-pal safe from Chris!|applecat <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1195&start=45#p74968]</ref>}}

===Re: I had a conversation with my wife about Christian.===
{{quoteboxred|'''by The Dude » Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:41 am'''
I've told her a little about Christian back in the day, but haven't told her about any of the recent stuff like Tomgil, running over Snyder, stuff like that.

The conversation went like this:

Me: So let's have a hypothetical.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Let's say something happens to me and we're no longer together. For sake of argument let's say I died.

Mrs. Dude: Oh no!

Me: So I'm dead and gone, and you're single again. Enough time has passed that you want to get back out and find another man.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Now here's the rub; the only guy who wants to date you is fat, balding, doesn't bathe, has no job, dresses like a girl, and lives with his mother in a hoarded house. He also shits himself when he's upset.

Mrs. Dude: Ew! EEWWWWW!!!

Me: What do you do?

Mrs. Dude: Tell him to stay away and strongly consider becoming a lesbian.

Me: A wise choice.

Mrs. Dude: There's someone out there that you know about who fits that exact description, isn't there?

Me: Remember that guy I told you about on the internet? The guy I showed you the videos of him having a singing battle with my friend?

Mrs. Dude: The autistic kid with the fucked up Sonic thing?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: He SHITS himself?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: Oh my...why? That's just grody! EW! EEWWWW!!

Me: I know.

Do you ever have conversations with anyone about Chris? How have they gone?|The Dude <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1927#p75268]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:56 pm'''
You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha. <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1927&p=75359#p75359]</ref>}}

===Seriously? No one wants to finish [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Chris' Puzzle]]?===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:08 pm'''
You all aren't even going to figure the Links between the photos? I mean, I don't think they have the same common thread, but one still links to the other. The lemon cake is a favorite food of businesswomen, and Cuban is a businessman. A bakery in Delaware highly recommends lemon and almond cookies. Delaware Bue Hens; hens on a farm with tornados. It's not totally rocket science. <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1931&p=75423#p75423]</ref>}}

===Re: Chris likes [[Manchester_High_School#Go_Lancers.21|the lancers]] on facebook.===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:10 pm'''
Oh, for God's Sake!!! [[Chris and sex|Did Chris not make it clear enough time and again that he is in Absolute Fact Fucking Straight?! He gets a hard on with a Woman! He gets Pukey Sick when seeing topless males! He freaking wears a bra to cover his own shame! He gets a hard on with WOMEN!!! Stop Mislabeling the Straight Man Already!!!]]

BTW: Cuban was born in Pittsburg; Pirates roam the seas with the Mayflower; there is a photo of Chris wearing a Pittsburg Pirates Cap. Also, when you want to call him Stupid, do not mislabel him there either!

[[Chris and hypocrisy|You all are pathetic, stupid, no ounce is common sense or intelligence at all!]] I do not know why I keep following you all at all!

Break Up the whole Group here already!!! <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1917&p=76063#p76063]</ref>}}

===Christian Weston Chandler is STRAIGHT!!!!===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:59 pm'''
You God Damn Pinheads!!!! I have already told you; Chris has told you!!!! The Riddle's answer was the FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!! CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED HOMO!!!! CHRISTIAN IS STRAIGHT!!!! He gets hard over women!! He vomits at males!!

GET IT THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMNED, DEMENTED, THICK SKULLS, YOU GOD DAMNED PINHEADS!!!!

I should know very well, because I Am Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, himself!!!!

You god damned [[JERKS|males]] make me vomit, sick and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]!! <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=1974&p=77923#p77923]</ref>}}

===September 2 FB update; New Troll to "Welcome"===

Just after revealing himself in his previous post, Chris acts as if nothing happened. Instead of [[Calling Out|encouraging his trolls to harrass his perceived enemies]] directly in a quoted FB post, he does it by pretending to be one of them... and fails.

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Mon Sep 2, 2013 9:22 am'''
He has posted Publically, and I quote:

I have just been intercepted by a Manajerk and an Offline Troll/Bully. Her name is [REDACTED]; works within the Mal-Wart region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an Autistic Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the XBox brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!

Yes! Let's Bother The Hell Out Of the Manajerk, and Give Her the Worst Day of Her Life!!!<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2024&p=81129#p81129]</ref>}}

===Bann has happened again===
Chris again requests for a trolling plan to troll Ms.Manajerk which is according to his [[Facebook#Chris_Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|Facebook post]] on 6 [[September 2013]], ignoring the '''No trolling plans''' rule again.
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:00 pm'''
Ha! I sincerely do not find anything credible about this forum that makes it Not-Trolling. We really should Troll (name redacted) now that she has followed in [[Michael Snyder]]'s steps now. She deserves revenge in Chris' name. <ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2074&p=83678#p83678]</ref>}}

===YOU ALL DO NOTHING BUT CONTINUE TO TROLL PEOPLE!!!===
After getting the responses he doesn't desire, Chris then tard rages and shows off his huge [[Chris and his ego|ego]] about how [[Chris and copyright|taking his words and content without permission or consent is trolling and cyber-bullying.]] Again, he pretends as if he is not Chris at all.
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:02 pm'''
IF this was NOT a Trolling Forum, you all would NOT be talking at all about Christian. [[Chris and his ego|The more you talk about him, AND bother him in ANY Communications, AND take his words and content without permission or consent, THE MORE YOU BASTARDS ARE SO TROLLING AND CYBER-BULLYING!!!]]

DESTROY THIS FORUM AND THE DAMN CWCKI NOW!!!<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2080&p=84212#p84212]</ref>}}

==Gallery of screencaps Chris took of the CWCki forum and posted on [[Facebook]]==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks board regular "Lucrid" and assures us the [[JenkinsJinkies]] sodomy story was made up.
File:Koreans.PNG|Chris denigrates Korean cuisine due to a misunderstanding.
File:No_trolling_plans.jpg|"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?" - [[Facebook#No_trolling_plans|Chris, over Facebook]]
File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg|Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>
</gallery>
</center>
[[Category: Websites]]

==See also==
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Trollin' Train]]
* [[Sonichu Girls]]
* [[GameFAQs]]

==References==
<references/>

{{The Internet}}