CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Thorg

2011-08-27T20:22:13Z

DarthNiggo:

Do we really need an article on Thorg? Everything we know about him can easily be incorporated into the Calling Out videos, maybe if he gets mentioned elsewhere we can mention him. In the very least, we can mention him on the [[Trolls]] page.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:31, 12 August 2011 (PDT)
*If it is going to be merged, it needs to be merged into trolls. Really, we don't have any more information on him than we do on Brain Bash, so I don't care either way. Though I was planning on massively rewriting the trolls article soon as well. I'd suggest we leave this article open for now, in case further videos provide new information. I suggest we leave the article alone at least until Chris's deadline for the blackmail videos, and if by then we have no more information than we do now or Thorg doesn't do anything, we can merge it. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 10:16, 12 August 2011 (PDT)
::I agree, and I personally feel that Thorg is milking Chris's video to him for as much attention as possible here on the CWCki. --[[User:DarthNiggo|DarthNiggo]] 13:22, 27 August 2011 (PDT)

==Know Your Meme==
I suggest we keep the link to the Know Your Meme page. It demonstrates who easily Chris is tricked. I'm not sure why it was removed. [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 18:28, 14 August 2011 (PDT)
*Security reasons, perhaps?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:39, 14 August 2011 (PDT)
**If you can't pick up that Chris was easily tricked, then you are an absolute dumbass and don't deserve to have it spelled out for you. No references to the meme, anywhere, until this is over. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 14:43, 15 August 2011 (PDT)
***If you wish for the article to remain free of references to the meme, fine. I am well aware that anyone who is paying attention to Chris's recent antics knows that he was tricked, but the link shows where the image fed to him came from and adds a little more context. I suggest that, some time down the road, we put the link back in.[[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 15:53, 15 August 2011 (PDT)
****Somewhere down the road, fine. But for now, keep it off the article. There's a reason it was removed in the first place you know. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:35, 16 August 2011 (PDT)

===New Thorg related video===
Not sure why Chris released a video relating to Thorg, since he released that information, though of course, we all know how that turned out. --[[User:KHSilverRock|KHSilverRock]] 17:32, 20 August 2011 (PDT)

Cole Smithey

2011-08-27T20:19:59Z

DarthNiggo: Irrelevant to Chris

Cole Smithey

2011-07-24T15:51:43Z

DarthNiggo:

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Ron Coleman Yeatts
[[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son, and one of the successful escapees from the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole seems to be a pretty normal guy. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole isn't on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his stepfather [[Jerry]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios." [[Bob]] isn't exactly a role model either, as he worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barbara lied about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to Jack Dale Smithey, Cole's alleged father, but rather to Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]
Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself.<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]],<ref name="email07-03-06p3" /> which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. When Chris's [[nudes]] were sent from his e-mail in [[September 2008]], Cole replied with "DO NOT CONTACT ME BY E-MAIL AGAIN."

'''tl;dr:''' Barbara is a whore and Chris doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Personal success==
Cole resided in California for 16 years and has been in New York since around [[1996]].<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 1]]</ref> Cole lives with his wife Katherine, has been called "the smartest film critic in the world,"<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]</ref> and plays guitar in a jazz band.<ref name="email07-03-06p3">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 3]]</ref>

===Internet infamy===
On 18 [[June 2010]], Cole became the first person out of 131 reviewers to give ''[[Wikipedia:Toy Story 3|Toy Story 3]]'' a "rotten" review on the website [http://www.rottentomatoes.com Rotten Tomatoes].<ref>[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/toy_story_3/comments.php?reviewid=1889775]</ref> (Only two other RT reviewers, a noted [[niggo]] troll-critic [[Wikipedia:Armond White|Armond White]] and "Movie Martyr" Jeremy Heilman, gave the film a negative review.) Immediately after posting this controversial review, Cole received hundreds of comments which relentlessly flamed his intelligence. This may prove that [[Internet]] infamy runs in the family.

Notably, however, Cole's negative review may have a rational psychological basis and he shouldn't be judged too harshly. Consider these quotes and see if they sound familiar:

<blockquote>
(...) the inappropriately [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cruel]] and [[For Julie's Eyes Only|drawn out climax sequence]] is [[Sonichu 10|too intense for younger children]] who will be lured into the "G-rated" film." ... Andy is off to [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], and must finally put away [[Toys|childish things]]--something most boys do before junior high. Talk about arrested development--[[love quest|this kid isn't getting any dates]].
</blockquote>

The same goes for his personal issues with [[Snorlax]].

<blockquote>
Andy's [[Barbara Chandler|careless mom]]--whose sense of parental responsibility is nonexistent, "accidentally" tosses out the trash bag filled with Woody's pals on the curb. ... abandonment is a distressing theme smuggled into the story.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]

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