CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:DeathtraP

2010-09-14T00:52:45Z

DeathtraP:

{{BlueSpike}}
{{Homo}}
{{Jew}}

[[User:DeathtraP/What_have_I_been_using_for_brains%3F|Amateur analysis of Chris and other such tedious writings by me can be found here if you really want to find them...but only if you really want to find them.]]

I'm a 21 year old male [[homo]] from the United States. Chris has caught my interest because he is what amounts to a compendium of things one should avoid doing in order to live a successful, happy, productive life. Furthermore, he also caught my interest because he's fucking hilarious (so unusual).

I may edit an article if I have something to offer to it (surprise).

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains?

2010-09-11T04:01:39Z

DeathtraP: Chris's eating habits involve Sonic & Bob is insane part 2

Okay, this page used to be really stupid and unfunny, so I'm changing it to be less stupid and unfunny. I hope, anyway. As a college student majoring in psychological studies, I will attempt to analyze some of the things Chris has done and said using the mad skills I've picked up from the internet while I was supposed to be writing assignments for my classes.

Part of Chris's repulsive charm comes from how easy it is to read absurd conclusions from the idiosyncratic and often downright bizarre things he says and does. Most of this page is based on exploiting that, and is therefore completely absurd. Don't take any of it seriously!

==The [[Giant Penis Comic]] and Chris's obvious closet homosexuality==

Let's say that the theory of Chris having traced his own penis is correct - this tells us that Chris is a strange manchild and has no [[autistic|artistic]] abilities, among other things we already knew. But to those of us who sit upon the upholstered throne of...well to us armchair shrinks, it can mean a whole bunch of stupid crap. The following is an analysis of what Chris's penis-tracing activities may tell us:

*Chris started tracing his ballsack too, or at least it looks that way. Did he get so focused on tracing his penis that he forgot why he was doing it, and consequently when to stop tracing?

*Chris's penis only has a noticeable bend in it when it's erect (I sincerely wish I didn't know that) and the giant penis in the giant penis comic has a noticeable bend in it. This means it's pretty likely that Chris traced his penis while it was erect.

*Assuming he did trace his penis for the comic, then Chris would have had to maintain a boner whilst tracing said boner. Chris has alluded to problems with erectile dysfunction in the past, which would make it difficult for him to remain erect (obviously). So, did Chris (whether knowingly or unknowingly) have something extremely arousing to him holding his attention while he traced his penis?

*If this is true, then we have three options available to us: A) Chris was watching porn or looking at some of his other awful rule 34 drawings while he was drawing the comic, B) he drew Ivy or Ivy's vagina first on the page and was looking at it, or C) Chris was aroused by the sight of his buff, fairly good-looking (as good looking as one can be in Chris's art style, anyhow) cartoon self and/or the erect penis he was tracing.

*Option A is unlikely simply because Chris is autistic and thus unable to split his attention between multiple things; had he been focused on porn at the time, the traced penis would have looked more like a bunch of squiggles arranged in a vaguely oblong shape.

*Option B is also unlikely based on [[shecameforcwc.jpg|Chris's similar works in the past.]] Based on the attention to detail Chris put into drawing [[Ego|himself]] in shecameforcwc.jpg and the hasty, cramped addition of the woman's body beyond the vagina in the same image, it's probable that Chris probably himself first when he's in any scene. Or maybe in shecameforcwc.jpg he drew the vagina first, who knows. Still though...

*The only logical conclusion is that Chris either got a raging boner from looking at an image of a healthy young man with a large penis (himself in the drawing) or from looking at his own erect [[duck]]. Either way, it's obvious that Chris is both extremely gay and in love with himself. Furthermore, Chris is the world's first perpetual boner machine.

*???

*[[China|Profit!]]

*tl;dr trace your penis, get laid

==[[Bob]] has gone utterly insane from living with Chris==

In a recent phone call with Alec Bens...I mean that GameStop guy, Bob Chandler revealed that he thinks Chris is the victim of a massive conspiracy perpetrated by [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[homos|da homos]]. This was deeply troubling to me as a fan of Bob, and I gather it shocked many people because Bob was a pretty cool guy for the most part until that phone call (if you discount him being a racist and an enabler, but hey, nobody's perfect). After reviewing the data carefully, I have come to the conclusion that Bob has gone completely insane from the stress of living with CWC for nearly 30 years.
 
Think about it. Bob has a a heart attack and goes to the hospital. While there, he has time away from Chris's tard tantrums to reflect on his life, since he probably knows he's not got much time left. He reflects on the thirty years he's spent trying to mold the concrete block of solid fail that is his son into a remotely likable person - and realizes what a waste it's all been. This brings memories flooding back, memories of all the things Chris has done to destroy everything Bob has worked so hard for - his health, his family, his savings, his legacy, his standing among his fellow human beings, probably a good bit of his home - and most of all, Bob imagines all the things he could have accomplished if the manchild had never come into this world. Overwhelmed by the sudden realization of the futility of his life, Bob loses his mind completely. When he returns home, now only a shell of his former self, Bob is once again shut up in isolation with only Chris, Barb, and the cats to keep him company.
 
Poor Bob.
 
The man put up a heroic struggle, but it was inevitable that he would succumb to [[14 Branchland Court|the hell]] that he was trapped in eventually.
 
I only hope his suffering ends soon.

==This is the cold, dark depth of Chris's obsession with Sonic the Hedgehog==

Apologies if this has ever been pointed out before, but if it has I haven't been able to find anything on it if it has.

Whilst viewing the fast food receipts from Chris's road trip (can be seen at file:Nnocac.jpg), I happened to notice something that sort of hit home just how god damn fucking obsessed Chris is with Sonic the Hedgehog: '''Two of the three receipts are from [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_Drive-In Sonic] drive-in restaurants.''' Let that permeate your brain for a moment. Let it sink through the blood-brain barrier and destroy what few cells have not already been irradiated or melted by repeated close contact with Chris's other insanities. The manchild is so fixated on Sonic the Hedgehog that his obsession even dictates his ''eating habits!''

I can just imagine him (sad in itself...) driving by a rest stop with a place that says SONIC in big fucking letters and doing a 180 in the middle of the road as soon as he realizes what that spells out. Depressing...

I imagine if there's ever a Sonic's built in Charlottesville the company's total sales will triple.

==Bob is insane part 2==

I wrote this as a response to the conspiracy stuff on the talk page, but it ended up being way too long to post on there so I'm going to just post it here.

All humorous accusations of insanity aside, I can see why Bob might feel as though Chris is being targeted by a group/groups of people (in ways other than the simple trolling that's happened over the years). I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually quite paranoid about people antagonizing Chris in any way - Bob is Chris's dad, after all (well, as far as we know...Barb sure gets around though) and parents generally have an instinctive desire to protect their children, even if they don't get along with said children at all. And Bob, while clearly a more effective parent by far than Barb, isn't exactly the most knowledgeable person when it comes to the way the modern world works because of his age (as SenorTucan mentioned).

Think about it - all Bob knows about the internet is that it's big, it's nasty, it's dangerous, and his son's being 'harassed' by people on it. Even if Bob does use the internet once in a while (I have no idea if he does, but who knows?) I doubt he would know much about Anonymous, 4chan, Encyclopedia Dramatica, or any of the other stuff related to Chris's trolling beyond what he's been told by Chris himself. At most, he may have seen something brief on TV of a similar nature to the "hackers on steroids" news segment at some point. Anyway, it's pretty clear that Bob believes Chris knows more about the internet than he does, having spent much more time on it, and he may be inclined to believe what Chris says simply because of that. I can actually see that being the case: the internet and its subcultures may be so foreign to Bob that he can't apply the same filter to what Chris says about said internet that he does when, say, Chris says something like [[Power|"that chair weighed a hundred pounds!"]] - He has no other understanding of the online world to weigh against Chris's description of it, so he's basically just going with the default.

On the other hand, it's just less [[stress|stressful]] to think that Bob was not in his right mind when he said those things, because I like Bob and want to think the best of him, lol.

User talk:DeathtraP

2010-09-09T07:38:41Z

DeathtraP:

That poem is bad and you should feel bad!--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:16, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

How dare you question my skills as a poet, you JERK? Were we in DtPVille, I would have you strung up by your ankles in public and pelted with rotten fruit for such an offense. [[User:DeathtraP|DeathtraP]] 03:50, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

I think his main problem with your poem was that you rhymed "it" with "it". That, and it sucks. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 03:54, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

I can't really argue with that, lol. [[User:DeathtraP|DeathtraP]] 00:38, 9 September 2010 (PDT)

User:DeathtraP

2010-09-09T07:35:05Z

DeathtraP:

[[User:DeathtraP/What_have_I_been_using_for_brains%3F|Amateur analysis of Chris and other such tedious writings by me can be found here if you really want to find them...but only if you really want to find them.]]

I'm a 21 year old male [[homo]] from the United States. Chris has caught my interest because he is what amounts to a compendium of things one should avoid doing in order to live a successful, happy, productive life. Furthermore, he also caught my interest because he's fucking hilarious (so unusual).

I may edit an article if I have something to offer to it (surprise).

My commentary about CWC can be found in the link that makes up the first line of this page (obviously).

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains?

2010-09-09T07:20:33Z

DeathtraP: Chris is a perpetual boner machine, and Bob has finally gone insane

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains?

2010-09-09T06:07:02Z

DeathtraP:

*[[Random Access Humor]] goes here*

Here, I shall ramble about things CWC-related.

Why I would do this, I don't know. It's likely that my noggin is already too damaged to fully comprehend the horror that is Christian Weston Chandler and react accordingly.

==lolwtf==

==Introspection & Chris believes his own lies==

Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, once said, "I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others."

Most of us practice this, if not actively, then at least passively. We question our own thoughts and beliefs as part of a process to better understand how and why we have come to think the way we do. The daily revelation that we are not all-knowing is a sobering experience for anyone, even if it's completely subconscious. The never-ending search for truth keeps us motivated to learn from each experience we have.

Chris, in his endless naivete, seems to take every thought he has as unquestionably true (and honest!). Narcissists are notoriously bad at introspection, but Chris appears incapable of even the most basic and shallow critique of his own mind. Ex: Chris believes CWCVille is a real place; thus, it ''must'' be real because he thinks it is, and cannot accept that he could be wrong despite the fact that he hasn't a shred of evidence of this beyond the fact that he thought it. That isn't to say that Chris believes that just ''thinking'' something will make it happen - well, actually that's a whole other set of issues. What this illustrates to me is that if Chris has a thought ("CWCVille is a real place", "I am good looking and attractive", "I am special and in the favor of GodJesus", etc) he will accept that whatever he is thinking is correct without hesitation.

A case in point for this would be Chris's refusal to accept that he's fat and balding. I subscribe to the theory that he's so bad at recognizing faces that he had to memorize his own appearance and hasn't "updated" it since high school, but the number of times he's been told, again and again, that he's ''not'' the same (relatively) normal looking young man he was in his school years, one would think he'd at least have doubts about it at some point and seek out a second opinion other than Barbara. But he hasn't; he's clung tenaciously to that belief for years without even seeking out any new proof to back it up. Chris seems to be at a level where he literally thinks that his own belief in something is undeniable proof that he's correct in believing it. He's so gullible he'll believe just about anything, as we've all seen - one has to wonder if the manchild has actually managed to con himself into believing that he really, TRULY, and HONESTLY is perfect and without a single flaw. A narcissist's mind is arguably the most holy and infallible place in their world, and Chris is without a doubt a narcissist of some breed or another (a really, really, ''really'' stupid one, but that's not the point). What would Chris possibly trust more than his own TRUE and HONEST thoughts?

I don't know if it's his narcissism, his autism, his unbelievable stupidity in general, or a combination of all of the above, but whatever it is, it's a frightening look at just how pathetic the human mind can become under the right conditions.

tl;dr Chris is an idiot but we knew that already, and I spend too much time thinking about him and his motivations.

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains?

2010-09-09T06:06:41Z

DeathtraP:

*[[Random-Access Humor]] goes here*

Here, I shall ramble about things CWC-related.

Why I would do this, I don't know. It's likely that my noggin is already too damaged to fully comprehend the horror that is Christian Weston Chandler and react accordingly.

==lolwtf==

==Introspection & Chris believes his own lies==

Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, once said, "I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others."

Most of us practice this, if not actively, then at least passively. We question our own thoughts and beliefs as part of a process to better understand how and why we have come to think the way we do. The daily revelation that we are not all-knowing is a sobering experience for anyone, even if it's completely subconscious. The never-ending search for truth keeps us motivated to learn from each experience we have.

Chris, in his endless naivete, seems to take every thought he has as unquestionably true (and honest!). Narcissists are notoriously bad at introspection, but Chris appears incapable of even the most basic and shallow critique of his own mind. Ex: Chris believes CWCVille is a real place; thus, it ''must'' be real because he thinks it is, and cannot accept that he could be wrong despite the fact that he hasn't a shred of evidence of this beyond the fact that he thought it. That isn't to say that Chris believes that just ''thinking'' something will make it happen - well, actually that's a whole other set of issues. What this illustrates to me is that if Chris has a thought ("CWCVille is a real place", "I am good looking and attractive", "I am special and in the favor of GodJesus", etc) he will accept that whatever he is thinking is correct without hesitation.

A case in point for this would be Chris's refusal to accept that he's fat and balding. I subscribe to the theory that he's so bad at recognizing faces that he had to memorize his own appearance and hasn't "updated" it since high school, but the number of times he's been told, again and again, that he's ''not'' the same (relatively) normal looking young man he was in his school years, one would think he'd at least have doubts about it at some point and seek out a second opinion other than Barbara. But he hasn't; he's clung tenaciously to that belief for years without even seeking out any new proof to back it up. Chris seems to be at a level where he literally thinks that his own belief in something is undeniable proof that he's correct in believing it. He's so gullible he'll believe just about anything, as we've all seen - one has to wonder if the manchild has actually managed to con himself into believing that he really, TRULY, and HONESTLY is perfect and without a single flaw. A narcissist's mind is arguably the most holy and infallible place in their world, and Chris is without a doubt a narcissist of some breed or another (a really, really, ''really'' stupid one, but that's not the point). What would Chris possibly trust more than his own TRUE and HONEST thoughts?

I don't know if it's his narcissism, his autism, his unbelievable stupidity in general, or a combination of all of the above, but whatever it is, it's a frightening look at just how pathetic the human mind can become under the right conditions.

tl;dr Chris is an idiot but we knew that already, and I spend too much time thinking about him and his motivations.

Talk:My apologies

2010-07-01T18:19:24Z

DeathtraP:

"I AM IGNORING YOU DANG DIRTY TROLLS" is lolcow speak for "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ASSHOLES". --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:59, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'm glad to see that Chris has completely missed the point of what Rocky was trying to teach him.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:37, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

Ooh, "misdemeanors". I feel so dirty. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 17:16, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

:I find it ironic - yet completely unsurprising - that despite the fact that he called this flipnote '''My Apologies''', Chris still spends more time talking about how the trolls have ruined his life than he spends actually apologizing for anything. Typical Chris...Yet more fodder for the remorse article, maybe? [[User:DeathtraP|DeathtraP]] 18:19, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Deleted ==

Download it here: http://www.mediafire.com/?hijngztn2wj [[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 17:25, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
Just saying, I had nothing to do with the removal of this Flipnote at all.--[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]] 17:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

I'm thinking it was deleted because it's Chris using the service to bitch about trolls and that something like this isn't allowed.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 18:16, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:DeathtraP

2010-07-01T03:50:02Z

DeathtraP:

User:DeathtraP

2010-06-20T06:26:27Z

DeathtraP:

''There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it." ''

And now for somecummpentydifferent.

[[User:DeathtraP/What_have_I_been_using_for_brains%3F|Rambles hyah.]]

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains?

2010-06-17T03:14:16Z

DeathtraP: True and honest page.

A waffle iron.

Here, I shall ramble about things CWC-related.

Why I would do this, I don't know. It's likely that my <strike>brain</strike> waffle iron is already too damaged to fully comprehend the horror that is Christian Weston Chandler and react accordingly.

==lolwtf==

==Introspection & Chris believes his own lies==

Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, once said, "I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others."

Most of us practice this, if not actively, then at least passively. We question our own thoughts and beliefs as part of a process to better understand how and why we have come to think the way we do. The daily revelation that we are not all-knowing is a sobering experience for anyone, even if it's completely subconscious. The never-ending search for truth keeps us motivated to learn from each experience we have.

Chris, in his endless naivete, seems to take every thought he has as unquestionably true (and honest!). Narcissists are notoriously bad at introspection, but Chris appears incapable of even the most basic and shallow critique of his own mind. Ex: Chris believes CWCVille is a real place; thus, it ''must'' be real because he thinks it is, and cannot accept that he could be wrong despite the fact that he hasn't a shred of evidence of this beyond the fact that he thought it. That isn't to say that Chris believes that just ''thinking'' something will make it happen - well, actually that's a whole other set of issues. What this illustrates to me is that if Chris has a thought ("CWCVille is a real place", "I am good looking and attractive", "I am special and in the favor of GodJesus", etc) he will accept that whatever he is thinking is correct without hesitation.

A case in point for this would be Chris's refusal to accept that he's fat and balding. I subscribe to the theory that he's so bad at recognizing faces that he had to memorize his own appearance and hasn't "updated" it since high school, but the number of times he's been told, again and again, that he's ''not'' the same (relatively) normal looking young man he was in his school years, one would think he'd at least have doubts about it at some point and seek out a second opinion other than Barbara. But he hasn't; he's clung tenaciously to that belief for years without even seeking out any new proof to back it up. Chris seems to be at a level where he literally thinks that his own belief in something is undeniable proof that he's correct in believing it. He's so gullible he'll believe just about anything, as we've all seen - one has to wonder if the manchild has actually managed to con himself into believing that he really, TRULY, and HONESTLY is perfect and without a single flaw. A narcissist's mind is arguably the most holy and infallible place in their world, and Chris is without a doubt a narcissist of some breed or another (a really, really, ''really'' stupid one, but that's not the point). What would Chris possibly trust more than his own TRUE and HONEST thoughts?

I don't know if it's his narcissism, his autism, his unbelievable stupidity in general, or a combination of all of the above, but whatever it is, it's a frightening look at just how pathetic the human mind can become under the right conditions.

User talk:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains

2010-06-17T03:11:35Z

DeathtraP:

You should really put this stuff on a personal page.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:53, 17 June 2010 (UTC)

== Oops! ==

I was trying to create a subpage on my user page. I obviously did it wrong. Sorry!

I'm rather new to using Wiki stuff, so how do I delete the article?
:Only mods can delete articles, but I'm sure they're get to this pretty quickly, so no worries. To make a User Subpage, just create a page with the title "User:DeathtraP/(pagename)". You should also sign your posts with four tildes (these things: ~). Welcome to the CWCKi!--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:03, 17 June 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I had it figured out when I made the page, but I suck at wiki so I did it wrong. xD

I'll make sure to avoid doing other stupid things in the future.

[[User:DeathtraP|DeathtraP]] 03:11, 17 June 2010 (UTC)

User talk:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains

2010-06-17T02:57:07Z

DeathtraP: /* Oops! */ new section

User:DeathtraP/What have I been using for brains

2010-06-17T02:52:12Z

DeathtraP: Created page with 'A waffle iron. Here, I shall ramble about things CWC-related. Why I would do this, I don't know. It's likely that my <strike>brain</strike> waffle iron is already too da…'

User:DeathtraP

2010-06-17T01:28:21Z

DeathtraP: Created page with '''There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. And he said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a cunt, I would f…'