CWCki - User contributions [en]

Response to ADF

2011-08-29T23:46:54Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris replied to Ahuvia after he uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris's calling out of him. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuvia does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuvia good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuvia]], who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be heterosexual. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuvia, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only aquinted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care wether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Response to ADF

2011-08-29T23:45:43Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris replied to Ahuvia after he uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris's calling out of him. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuvia does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuvia good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... [[Jack Thaddeus|Ahuvia]], who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Straight#Staying straight|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be heterosexual. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuvia, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only aquinted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care wether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Response to ADF

2011-08-29T23:45:18Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Response to ADF''' is a video uploaded by Chris on 29 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris replied to Ahuvia after he uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_PqInE52o4 two] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE7bp7GKx_U videos] in response to Chris's calling out of him. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuvia does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuvia good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Response to ADF
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Sky_Nerd.jpg|thumb|If I whined like a virgin, would you please have sex with me?]]
This is my video response to... [Jack Thaddeus|Ahuvia]], who has apparently taken upon himself to, uh... record his response without wearing his face, optionally or leaving it out. So I'm just going to respond directly with my, uh- a few of my own thoughts. First off, I uh- now... I am heterosexual, [[Straight#Staying straight|I am straight]], and that's just the way I am! It's not a have-to situation, I've never seen it ev- rarely seen it that way, I have at one point, but guess what, I've seen the other viewpoints, and they did not treat de ne- did not fair to me as s- so much, they gross me- they mostly gross me out. Therefore... that is what I am, and I am happy to stay that way, and I want to continue to be heterosexual. I am happy with myself there.

And I would admit that with other people, there are differences that I feel most uncomfortable about and around, such as... yes, gays... gay men anyway. ''[blows a raspberry]'' I like lesbians. Smokers, definitely the smokers. Can anybody tell me why smoking isn't stupid? I don't think so. And just most other males in gender- in general, because I get along better with women anyway. That's not really my fault, that's just part of my dang brain function with the missing links in my... brain and whatever. But that does not define me as an uncaring and cold-hearted person! [[Chris and Remorse|I have empathy]]! I seek- I can see myself in other people's shoes and see how they would feel if I has- if I- with my responses into whatever situations.

And yet you may- while you may or may not have empathy as well, Ahuvia, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|I feel you to still be a typical non-understanding pig]]! I would go- I would travel outside of the state if where- or wherever if I could but, because A: I have- I'm on low funds, and I would get a job... but unfortunately, because of all the shit that's against me on the Internet... between the hate-filled webpages that y'all trolls and cyberbullies have created against me, and the past videos that I was blackmailed and deceived and just plain forced into creating, with such derogatory graphic smut and literal shit within them, it just makes it that much more difficult for me to be able to get a job. 'cuz they do the background checks, look up facebooks and look on Youtube and look everywhere! They don't just do criminal records anymore, ask anybody!

And I would travel if I could, but my parents are both old. My father is ill. He's sickly. He has feet-bloatings. And he has ailiments that doctors are unable to determine, and at this point he is certified as a forced shut-in! He cannot get out so much, 'cuz he feels so ill and sickly in his feet. And I ''do'' get out of my house, I go out here and there and everywhere, so don't tell me that I don't get out! I'm free as a bird and this bird... peep- and this bird you cannot change! Yes, I learned from Leonard Skynerd, and I like that song.

And listen- and I want you to listen here. I'm all for equality, but there is a limit! ''[Chris hits the camera]'' I do not want to be forced or intimidated into or bullied into lifestyles that I just ''not am of'', or feel comfortable around! And this was a country where... people would not feel forced to do anything... then, whatever! And yes, marriage should be between two happy people, regardless of, uh, gender or whatever. But I'm still gonna feel most uncomfortable around homosexual dudes, regardless! And just most other males in general, hell, I probably won't even have a bachelor party 'cuz I don't know so many males, I'd probably be having a bachelor party mostly constituted with those within my congregation who I'm only aquinted with, like, one or two of. Hell, I would even appreciate having a bachelor party where I had all my Gal-Pals come and hold it for me! I'd rather have a bachelor party with... where it was... shoot, I'm trying the think of the word, um... well anyway, with m- anyway, with mostly women, 'cuz I feel more comfortable ar- around women. Platonic, that's the word I would use, the party would be platonic.

And likewise, if my bride had mostly male friends, I'd let her hang out with them platonically as well for her bride party. And you know what, I don't care wether I get a bachelor party or not, around the time I do get married. Because that's just- that's just me. And I cannot be changed. So I would- so I would say, good luck being a fake woman because you'll never be able to achieve true femdom! And you'll always be a dang homosexual male 'cuz you're born that way, you gonna to stay that way pretty much even if you're gonna- if you're gonna have your dick either chopped off or tucked in! People are still gonna look at you so ill. In the majority of this country.

Anyway, that's my response for now. Damn homo.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Victory Rockout]]|nextlink=[[Response to ADF|Current]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Virgin with rage

2011-08-19T14:07:09Z

DeliciousBabies: /* References by Chris */

{{quote|Tell me why (I'm stuck as a virgin with rage) Tell me why (I so need a cute girl my age)|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' is [[Chris's]] description of himself, being rendered helpless by this condition, his eternal virginity engenders [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]].

Chris is very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brings up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with somebody he has just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it's generally not a good idea to mention that he's a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris is probably dimly aware of his eventual fate, that he is destined to be a virgin forever. Obviously, this much-repressed sexual drive, combined with the social ineptitude resulting from his [[autism]], means that Chris is ready to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI snap] at any point. Only [[mass debating]] keeps Chris from playing ''Counter-Strike'' IRL.

{{quote | Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. |Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair,{{cite}} touching her shoulder,{{cite}} giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug. Thankfully, she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman."
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

== Why Chris will never lose his virginity ==
<center></center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Why Chris-Chan will never lose his virginity
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hzI-dgGsnFU}}
| Stardate =7 [[September 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/danicapayton danicapayton]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

100 2188

2011-08-19T01:02:20Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''100_2188.MOV''' is a video uploaded on 27 [[May 2010]]. [[Chris]] complains about the [[trolls]] vandalizing the [[CWCipedia]] and then tries to defend himself, saying that he is [[PS3|active]] in his community and that the trolls are losers who sit at their computers all day. He gets very preachy about not being glued to the internet, the need to go outside and socialize with real people, but then again, [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|we've heard this before]]. Chris announces that he does not need to repeat himself, then goes on to repeat himself (for the millionth time): he is [[homos|STRAIGHT]].

Chris claims that hacking someone else's "crap and stuff" is something he would never do, either forgetting or ignoring the fact that he invaded [[Liquid Chris]]'s e-mail account in his pursuit of [[Kacey]] and [[Samantha Thaddeus]]'s e-mail account in order to [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|converse with Jack]]. He levels all manner of rage at computers and the internet, but apparently, telephones are exempt, probably because they are an older medium and Chris is on a knee-jerk rant about how he doesn't want to associate with anyone who isn't in his life already. Truly, Chris is the perfect hybrid of both [[Racism|racist]] redneck and immature manchild.

His outfit in this video is a new variation on the "Trucker" costume from [[Some Favored Comedians]] and his [[The Hook Cafe|Hook Cafe]] profile pictures, this time featuring a dark blue t-shirt, a black vest, and a hat to hide his baldness. Whether this represents a sea change in his [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] choices remains to be seen.

==Description==

In the afternoon hours of 27 May 2010, Chris posted this message onto this video:

{{quote|As of today, May 27, 2010, I, Christian Weston Chandler, relinquish what was the Cwcipedia. I am keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday, as well as my [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Cwcville]] and all therein.

I stand by my own past statements, and I ignore and heavily disagree with, detest and abolish all that are stated Against me on the internet.

[[An Official Sonichu Update|I never meant to become famous]], and I wish to go back to when there was little against me.|}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2188
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1zJY0v_pmsU}}
| stardate = 27 [[May 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|[[CWCipedia]]}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{BlueLogoShirt|text}}, {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[Some Favored Comedians]]
| next = [[100 2189]]
}}

{{quote|I am not so much a manchild as I was before.}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris opens the video with a sigh. The fan is still.'']

May 27, 2010. Look. All you people who dare- who are- all you people who mock me and torment me, you ''trolls''. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with you. You do not need to be gettin'- hacking into my [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|crap]] and stuff, you do not need to be doing that. And you should never do that! [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|I would never even do that]]!

I am ''trying'' to improve myself. I am [[Mass Debating|working on myself]] in real life. [[Monthly Tugboat|I am not lazy!]] I am no- I am not so much a manchild as I was before! And I am act- and I am active within my community looking for n- looking for new ''friends'' to talk- to hang out with and talk to.

Especially the women. I do not need to repeat myself! [''dramatically removes his glasses''] I am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]. I [[love]] women!

[''After a long pause, Chris puts his glasses on.'']

And I am ''not'' going to be on the internet much because I have been turned off of the internet, because of what- because of them damn tr-, because of you damn trolls. Give me so many bad experiences of the internet. Real life is so much better than the internet, you know, you glue yourselves to your computers... [''the glasses come back off''] every last one of you! And y'all are becoming ''[[autistic]]''-like! Stuck within your computers! Nobody- not- not too many people are socializing in real life anymore, they're just glued to their computers. [[Chris and English|That is not a world that we do not need to live in]]. Technology is suppo- is supposedly- supposed to improve our lives, make things easier for us. I'll tell you one thing that it is not making easier. Being sociable in real life. You need to glue- you need to get yourselves away from your computers. [[Chris and hypocrisy|And your sheltered lives. And go out and socialize in real life.]] Talk to people! Go find yoursel- go find your own sweethearts, or if you already found 'em, go t- go talk to them and h- and, and hang out with them, and... [[Hanky panky|everything]].

I do not need to have to update myself on the internet. [[Ian Brandon Anderson|My good name]] is my own good name. And nothing on the internet will change that for fact. Everything on the internet may as well be considered ''false''.

If you really want to know the truth, you have to s- seem- you have to talk to me in person! In real life. [''long pause''] Because I am not going to be pushed around anymore by anybody on the internet. Anybody outside of this state, outside of my own com- outside of [[CWCville|my own world]]. On the, on the internet, through the computer. The only ones that I will... associate with and ''possibly''... entrust... are those closest to me in real life. Computer-heads, go get your own life! ''Away from the computer!''

People meeting people on the internet supposedly is an [[The Hook Cafe|improvement]] in [[Okcupid|relationships]], but you know what? [''shakes his head vigorously''] ''[[Aspergers|I disagree! Heavily!]]''

[''After another long pause, the glasses go back on.'']

Improvement on what, socially? Nothing! We're best socializing in real life, talking on the telephone! We do not need the internet and e-mails! We've become- y- y'all have become slaves to your own damn thing. Think about it!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Some Favored Comedians]]|nextlink=[[100 2189]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, May 2010| 2010-05-27]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2010-05-27]]

Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

2011-08-16T21:30:32Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada''' is a video Chris uploaded on 12 August 2011. Chris uses this video to expose information about [[Thorg]] and to show that he is very serious in releasing his information. It was quickly removed as hate-speech. The new [[Pedo-glasses]] make their first appearance on video.

== Video ==
{{quote|**Troll Alias: Thorg. Real Name: Jeremy Slonwhite. Occupation: Single, Virgin, Athiest, Gamestop Employee in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Age: 32 Interestes include: Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, Elder Scrolls, Star Trek, Mountain Dew, Magic the Gathering, LARPing, GURPS, Minecraft, Gaia Online and TROLLING.}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fvjWuUtx4ic}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}} , Unknown
| previous = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
| next = Current
}}

[[File:TheCatch.jpg|thumb|The one catch to Chris's brilliant scheme.]]

=== Transcript ===
Another fine day, another good day. ''[pause]'' I understand that, uh, Master Thorg, also known as Jeremy, is, uh, very [[Chris and religion#Atheism|atheist]] against me and my ways. So, to prove to h- so to prove to him and to everyone that I am serious, very serious, about [[wikipedia:Google_Images|revealing]] [[Trolls|troll]] information…

''[Puts on pedo-glasses.]''

He will be on the chopping block right now. ''[Makes a karate chop hand movement and a sound effect that sounds like a crushed tissue.]''

''[Jerks the camera around wildly to face the TV screen.]''

This is his…trolling persona pho-to-graph. And of course, here's da full photograph, ''[Scrolls down to show picture]'' of which I have shown previously in full- der- in full-- persona. Troll alias: Thorg. Real name: Jeremy Sloanwhite. Lives in- resides in Vancouver, BC, Canna-duh. Occupation: Aga- employee over at- at [[Gamestop|Gamestop]] over there. Age: 32. He is a sin- he is a [[Virgin with rage|single virgin]]. His interests include Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, [[Captain's Log|Star Trek]], The Elder Scrolls, [[Fanta|Mountain Dew]], Magic: The Gathering, [[wikipedia:GURPS|GURPS]], whatever the hell they are, Minecraft, Gaia Online, LARPing, live action role-play, and trolling.

He is- he was responsible for leaking the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] to the public through the [[CWCki]], Pho'oshopping me into a gay bar, which [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash]] uploaded to a billboard in New York City, New York. He has participated in the [[Trollin Train|Trollin' Train]], he [[Kick the Autistic|contributed bad things]] into my [[mailbag]] on the [[CWCipedia]], and general [[YouTube]], CWCki, [[troll]]ing, and support roles.

And following that, we have two more photographs of Master Jeremy Sloanwhite. ''[TV screen changes to show almost-completely white photo due to [[Chris and camerawork|terrible webcam]]. The photo slowly dims to reveal another Butthurt Dweller photo.]'' What an ugly sunnuvabitch! Really ugly! Eeehh. He looks like he's got a penguin in the background of this photograph.

''[Photo changes again to another photo, holding a piece of paper that reads "CWC is a fat retard tranny [[Calling Out#Re: Don.2C and ReCalling Out .22Thorg.22 - Jeremy|-Thorg 10/8/2011]]"]'' And then there's a more recent one, where he da-erhs- plays atheist against me!

''[Chris' voice raises.]'' [[personal_army|EVERYBODY! PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TROLL MR. JEREMY SLOANWHITE]], AGE TWE-- AGE THIRTY TWO, IN VANCOUVER, BC, CANNA-[[slow-in-the-minds|DUH]], AT THE GAMESTOP AT WHICH HE WORKS AT!

[[Chris and religion|ATHEIST, BEGONE!]]

''[Jerks the camera back to himself]'' An' then right after that, you will s- everybody can stay tuned for next trolling-- next troll I will be revealing a little bit of info of. In which, uh, now if you'll excuse me, ''[stares off-screen]'' I'm gonna go ''[sudden high-pitched voice, attempting to imitate Ke$ha]'' [[Recycling|brush my teeth with a bottle a' Jack]]!

{{Troll Videos}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Correction of EX relationship status]]|nextlink='''Current'''}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

2011-08-16T21:27:48Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada''' is a video Chris uploaded on 12 August 2011. Chris uses this video to expose information about [[Thorg]] and to show that he is very serious in releasing his information. It was quickly removed as hate-speech. The new [[Pedo-glasses]] make their first appearance on video.

== Video ==
{{quote|**Troll Alias: Thorg. Real Name: Jeremy Slonwhite. Occupation: Single, Virgin, Athiest, Gamestop Employee in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Age: 32 Interestes include: Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, Elder Scrolls, Star Trek, Mountain Dew, Magic the Gathering, LARPing, GURPS, Minecraft, Gaia Online and TROLLING.}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fvjWuUtx4ic}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}} , Unknown
| previous = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
| next = Current
}}

[[File:TheCatch.jpg|thumb|The one catch to Chris's brilliant scheme.]]

=== Transcript ===
Another fine day, another good day. ''[pause]'' I understand that, uh, Master Thorg, also known as Jeremy, is, uh, very [[Chris and religion#Atheism|atheist]] against me and my ways. So, to prove to h- so to prove to him and to everyone that I am serious, very serious, about [[wikipedia:Google_Images|revealing]] [[Trolls|troll]] information…

''[Puts on pedo-glasses.]''

He will be on the chopping block right now. ''[Makes a karate chop hand movement and a sound effect that sounds like a crushed tissue.]''

''[Jerks the camera around wildly to face the TV screen.]''

This is his…trolling persona pho-to-graph. And of course, here's da full photograph, ''[Scrolls down to show picture]'' of which I have shown previously in full- der- in full-- persona. Troll alias: Thorg. Real name: Jeremy Sloanwhite. Lives in- resides in Vancouver, BC, Canna-duh. Occupation: Aga- employee over at- at [[Gamestop|Gamestop]] over there. Age: 32. He is a sin- he is a [[Virgin with rage|single virgin]]. His interests include Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, [[Captain's Log|Star Trek]], The Elder Scrolls, [[Fanta|Mountain Dew]], Magic: The Gathering, [[wikipedia:GURPS|GURPS]], whatever the hell they are, Minecraft, Gaia Online, LARPing, live action role-play, and trolling.

He is- he was responsible for leaking the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] to the public through the [[CWCki]], Pho'oshopping me into a gay bar, which [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash]] uploaded to a billboard in New York City, New York. He has participated in the [[Trollin Train|Trollin' Train]], he [[Kick the Autistic|contributed bad things]] into my [[mailbag]] on the [[CWCipedia]], and general [[YouTube]], CWCki, [[troll]]ing, and support roles.

And following that, we have two more photographs of Master Jeremy Sloanwhite. ''[TV screen changes to show almost-completely white photo due to [[Chris and camerawork|terrible webcam]]. The photo slowly dims to reveal another Butthurt Dweller photo.]'' What an ugly sunnuvabitch! Really ugly! Eeehh. He looks like he's got a penguin in the background of this photograph.

''[Photo changes again to another photo, holding a piece of paper that reads "CWC is a fat retard tranny [[Calling Out#Re: Don.2C and ReCalling Out .22Thorg.22 - Jeremy|-Thorg 10/8/2011]]"]'' And then there's a more recent one, where he da-erhs- plays atheist against me!

''[Chris' voice raises.]'' EVERYBODY! PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TROLL MR. JEREMY SLOANWHITE, AGE TWE-- AGE THIRTY TWO, IN VANCOUVER, BC, CANNA-[[slow-in-the-minds|DUH]], AT THE GAMESTOP AT WHICH HE WORKS AT!

[[Chris and religion|ATHEIST, BEGONE!]]

''[Jerks the camera back to himself]'' An' then right after that, you will s- everybody can stay tuned for next trolling-- next troll I will be revealing a little bit of info of. In which, uh, now if you'll excuse me, ''[stares off-screen]'' I'm gonna go ''[sudden high-pitched voice, attempting to imitate Ke$ha]'' [[Recycling|brush my teeth with a bottle a' Jack]]!

{{Troll Videos}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Correction of EX relationship status]]|nextlink='''Current'''}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada

2011-08-16T21:21:44Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada''' is a video Chris uploaded on 12 August 2011. Chris uses this video to expose information about [[Thorg]] and to show that he is very serious in releasing his information. It was quickly removed as hate-speech. The new [[Pedo-glasses]] make their first appearance on video.

== Video ==
{{quote|**Troll Alias: Thorg. Real Name: Jeremy Slonwhite. Occupation: Single, Virgin, Athiest, Gamestop Employee in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Age: 32 Interestes include: Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, Elder Scrolls, Star Trek, Mountain Dew, Magic the Gathering, LARPing, GURPS, Minecraft, Gaia Online and TROLLING.}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fvjWuUtx4ic}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}} , Unknown
| previous = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
| next = Current
}}

[[File:TheCatch.jpg|thumb|The one catch to Chris's brilliant scheme.]]

=== Transcript ===
Another fine day, another good day. ''[pause]'' I understand that, uh, Master Thorg, also known as Jeremy, is, uh, very [[Chris and religion#Atheism|atheist]] against me and my ways. So, to prove to h- so to prove to him and to everyone that I am serious, very serious, about revealing [[Trolls|troll]] information…

''[Puts on pedo-glasses.]''

He will be on the chopping block right now. ''[Makes a karate chop hand movement and a sound effect that sounds like a crushed tissue.]''

''[Jerks the camera around wildly to face the TV screen.]''

This is his…trolling persona pho-to-graph. And of course, here's da full photograph, ''[Scrolls down to show picture]'' of which I have shown previously in full- der- in full-- persona. Troll alias: Thorg. Real name: Jeremy Sloanwhite. Lives in- resides in Vancouver, BC, Canna-duh. Occupation: Aga- employee over at- at [[Gamestop|Gamestop]] over there. Age: 32. He is a sin- he is a [[Virgin with rage|single virgin]]. His interests include Dungeons and Dragons, Stargate, World of Warcraft, Star Wars, [[Captain's Log|Star Trek]], The Elder Scrolls, [[Fanta|Mountain Dew]], Magic: The Gathering, [[wikipedia:GURPS|GURPS]], whatever the hell they are, Minecraft, Gaia Online, LARPing, live action role-play, and trolling.

He is- he was responsible for leaking the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] to the public through the [[CWCki]], Pho'oshopping me into a gay bar, which [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash]] uploaded to a billboard in New York City, New York. He has participated in the [[Trollin Train|Trollin' Train]], he [[Kick the Autistic|contributed bad things]] into my [[mailbag]] on the [[CWCipedia]], and general [[YouTube]], CWCki, [[troll]]ing, and support roles.

And following that, we have two more photographs of Master Jeremy Sloanwhite. ''[TV screen changes to show almost-completely white photo due to [[Chris and camerawork|terrible webcam]]. The photo slowly dims to reveal another Butthurt Dweller photo.]'' What an ugly sunnuvabitch! Really ugly! Eeehh. He looks like he's got a penguin in the background of this photograph.

''[Photo changes again to another photo, holding a piece of paper that reads "CWC is a fat retard tranny [[Calling Out#Re: Don.2C and ReCalling Out .22Thorg.22 - Jeremy|-Thorg 10/8/2011]]"]'' And then there's a more recent one, where he da-erhs- plays atheist against me!

''[Chris' voice raises.]'' EVERYBODY! PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TROLL MR. JEREMY SLOANWHITE, AGE TWE-- AGE THIRTY TWO, IN VANCOUVER, BC, CANNA-[[slow-in-the-minds|DUH]], AT THE GAMESTOP AT WHICH HE WORKS AT!

[[Chris and religion|ATHEIST, BEGONE!]]

''[Jerks the camera back to himself]'' An' then right after that, you will s- everybody can stay tuned for next trolling-- next troll I will be revealing a little bit of info of. In which, uh, now if you'll excuse me, ''[stares off-screen]'' I'm gonna go ''[sudden high-pitched voice, attempting to imitate Ke$ha]'' [[Recycling|brush my teeth with a bottle a' Jack]]!

{{Troll Videos}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Correction of EX relationship status]]|nextlink='''Current'''}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

KCWC broadcast

2011-08-16T20:46:20Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcription */

The '''KCWC broadcast''' is a taped "broadcast" of [[KCWC]] that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD]]".

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] "calling in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] seventy-first birthday and humoring Chris like a six-year-old, as well as the fact that many of the songs he plays are from [[video games]]. Though many video games do have catchy themes, no one in their right mind would listen to them over the radio.

Besides the crappy video game music, the only other songs Chris plays are old songs that nobody from his generation onwards has probably ever heard of, all from the 1930s to 1950s by artists such as [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] and [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]]. We can probably thank Bob for [[Chris_and_music#Musical_tastes|Chris's musical tastes]].

The broadcast has several special "guests," notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|''Alvin and the Chipmunks'']], as well as [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]], who, after riding on board [[Daniel Weston|the Mayflower]] to the [[United States of America|new world]], has apparently became a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] fan. Keep in mind, this was made when he was ''sixteen'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].

Also, on the DVD cover, Chris incorrectly says that this was taped in August [[1997]]. This is impossible, as there is a commercial on this tape for [[Wikipedia:Cousin Skeeter|''Cousin Skeeter'']], a show on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]] that premiered in September [[1998]], and Bob wouldn't turn 71 until this month, either. It is pretty sad that Chris can't remember when his father's birthday is.

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-jRds729ZI}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
'''Chris:'''[''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air.

[''Chris poorly imitates the NBC chimes, followed by a weird random noise'']

'''Chris:''' [''ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice''] ''It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler!'' [''ba-ba-ba-bum'']

[tape skips between recording]

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up
[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I feel like [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra]]. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "[[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got the World on a String]]" plays]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]], let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[A recording of [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]] appearing on radio show ''[[Wikipedia:The Fitch Bandwagon|The Fitch Bandwagon]]'' plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, [[Wikipedia:Skip Nelson|Skip Nelson]]'s "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aNSPbPdcWZo}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''"[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope [[Homos|he and his friend enjoys themselves]], but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local news]]. Here we are at the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario racetrack]] where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. [[Chris and reality|They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees]], but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris's voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! Here in Richmond it is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his news caster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal $5 million from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a [[Chris and money|$1,000 reward]] to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a $5 million reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for [[Obesity|Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial]] for Cousin Skeeter and Allen Strange toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tAVkrAdqrYU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
The ''Mario Kart 64'' Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that ''Mario Kart 64'' song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme-for the theme song of a very famous [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from-it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call-who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[tape stops and leads to the theme song of "Sonic and Knuckles"]

[tape stops and Chris resumes speaking]

'''Chris:''' And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the "Sonic and Knuckles" theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]]. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the [[Internet]]. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that Sonic & Knuckles song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of Sonic the Hedgehog fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that, uh, game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called "[[Wikipedia:Love and Marriage|Love and Marriage]]". And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 a.m. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris:''' You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little [[Christmas]] song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [pause] I'll tell you then! It's [[Wikipedia:Alvin and the Chipmunks|:Alvin and the Chipmunks]]. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[Chris claps]

'''Chris as one of the Chipmunks: ''' [indistinct]

'''Chris as another Chipmunk: ''' You said it!

'''Chris as the third Chipmunk: ''' We're going [[Tobacky|smoking]]!

'''Chris: ''' Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

'''Chris trying to sound like Alvin: ''' Yeah, it's great, man!

'''Chris: ''' Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play...

[Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends]

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sNKPhZ2ea_w}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris: ''' ...a [[Christmas]] song! I gonna play... ''[Sings in a sing-song voice]'' Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

'''Chris trying to sound like Simon: ''': Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! ''[Annoying laugh]'' Ah ah ah ahh!

'''Chris: ''' Heh heh heh, that's funny, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and ''[indistinct]'' and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4BBori8Ac| Over The River And Through The Woods]" plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris: ''' Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those Chip- wasn't those Chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Lezzie Lylelesh, [''Not sure about this name, someone help?''] and she requested that we play the [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']] song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyWwy0YOmU| Sonic Boom]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, ''[spoken quickly]'' as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, [[Cole_Smithey#Internet_infamy|Toy Story]]! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "[[Wikipedia:You've Got A Friend In Me|You've Got A Friend In Me]]." And boy, wasn't that [[Wikipedia:Buzz Lightyear|Buzz Lightyear]] funny, I mean,

'''Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: ''' To infinity and beyond!

'''Chris: ''' Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and [[Duck|Woody]], with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcXURC_nNhc| You've Got A Friend In Me]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the [[I Love Lucy|''I Love Lucy'' show]]!

'''Chris trying to sound like Lucy:''' ''Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Do you poop out at parties?]] Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Mmm! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!''

'''Chris: ''' Hey there, all you [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]! And the joke goes like this.

'''Chris as his younger self:''' Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Sw3gT38hJNA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris as his younger self:''' ''[resumes mid-joke from part four into part five.]'' -ven. 'Cuz seven, eight nine!

'''Chris:''' ''[Chris laughs]'' Now that's a pretty funny one! Thank you Christopher Chandler. Anyway, our next song is another Disney song and it is entitled ''[Chris badly sings]'' "Ooh, oopey doo, oobey doo, I wanna be like yo-hoo-hou, wapey do-ee do wah!" from the Jungle Book. Yeah, that's right, the Jungle Book. Okay Tink-okay Kemuway take it away. Oh by the way Luey, I don't want to be like you! ''[Chris laughs]''

''[Tape cuts out in the middle of the recording then resumes]''

''"I Wan'na Be Like You" sung by [[Wikipedia:Louis Prima|Louis Prima]] for the Disney film ''[[Wikipedia:The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' plays]''

''[Tape cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'ery thing KCWC. And it is now one-thirty in the afternoon and we're going to-- ''[Chris cuts himself off with vocalized phone rings]'' Uh-oh, gotta call on line one. ''[Bloops and Chris pretends to answer the phone]'' 'Allo! It's your time, what's your rhyme!

'''Barbara Chandler:''' Hello! My name is Barbara Chandler and I'm calling to request a song for my husband for his birthday - ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' His name is [[Bob Chandler]] and he's 71 years old today. ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' ''[In a very-mildly agitated tone]'' and the song I would like to request is "[[Wikipedia:A Bushel and a Peck|A Bushel and a Peck]]". ''[Chris interrupts for a third time]''

'''Chris:''' A bushel on a peck, an' a hug aroun'da neck for a seventy-one-year-old man. ''[light laugh]''

'''Barbara:''' Ah think so. Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' ''[Quickly]'' Okay bye.

'''Barbara:''' Bye.

'''Chris:''' Ya heard it righ' here folks a-a request for birfday boy here. So a Happy Birthday goes out to Robert Chandler. And we will p'say "A Bushel and a Peck" from [[Wikipedia:Guys and Dolls|''Guys and Dolls'']].

''[Tape cuts out, then begins playing "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls]''

''[Tape cuts back in]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'erything [[KCWC]]. And right now we're gonna go down to the top tens- songs. Of them all. Cuz I gotta start up with um'uh-nuh we're gonna start um' right now.

Number Ten is- uh- "[[Wikipedia:Go the Distance|Go the Distance]]" from [[Wikipedia:Hercules (1997 film)|''Hercules'']]. Number Nine is uh- "ccc" from- The Chipmunks. Number Eight is uh- "The Results Theme" from Mario Kart 64. Number Seven is "Saddle Up" is from Virtual Sonic. Number Five is, uh- uh- the uh-Opening theme from Starfox 64. And Number Three is the uh ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD| The Palmtreee Panic]]'' background song from the Sonic's CD. And Number Two is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story. And the number one hit song which we're gon'play up next- uh- "What's More American" sung by Bing Crosby.

Take it away Bing!

''[Tape cuts out at the end of part Five]''

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mHRCvY9GjhU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''There's a long silence until 00:20 when "What's More American" resumes.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC. And right now it is 3 o'clock and we're gonna take a break from the music and get right back to you with the news. Okay, Ted newcaster, take it away!

[''Chris lowers his voice and somehow sounds even more retarded than usual'']

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you, Mr. Chandler! Well first of we're gonna go back to the robbery that's in- that's in- still in progress. Come in copter one.

[''Chris makes noises I presume to be helicopter noises and does the voice for copter one'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Here I am in copter one, folks. Again with the bank manager and we're still chasing the robber. And he's on his- he's nearing his hide-out. Okay, here he is parking his car. Getting out of the car with the five million dollars in his suitcase. [inaudible] And luckily I have a police escort with me so we're gonna land now and catch the burglar. Goin' on down now!

[''Chris makes more helicopter noises'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, here I am now at the place I'm go in and capture that burglar. Okay, lets go!

[''Chris puts on a deeper, more authoritative voice, presumably pretending to be a policeman'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Okay, Robber! You got five seconds to get outta there with the five million dollars or we gonna bust on in and get it ourselves. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Okay men, send them in.

[''Chris seems to fart'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Alright, we got ya surrounded! Come out with your hands up!

[''Chris makes strange high-pitched noises'']

'''Chris as robber:''' Okay, okay! I'm out, please don't shoot! Don't shoot! Dont't shoot! I give up! I give up! I give up! Here's the five million dollars. I give up! I give up! Please take me in! Take me in! I'll never commit a crime anymore.

'''Chris as policeman:''' Good job, men! Listen, five million dollars gets a thousand dollar reward. Donate it to the Richmond station. Okay, c'mon men, lets get outta here!

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' And there you have it. We just had the capture of the burglar and the retrieving of the five million dollars. So tell me, Mr. bank manager, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as the bank manager:''' Well, all I have to say is that I [inaudible]. He sang like a true coward. So, and he's gonna- he also face going to jail so he might give up the life of crime and I won't have any more money stolen. That's all I have to say.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, you heard right here live on station KCWC. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you- thank you, copter one. Okay, right now we're gonna go back to the weather. Weatherboy...

'''Chris as Weatherboy:''' [clears throat] Eh, yes, and right now it is- right now it is 91 degrees and now it's mostly cloudy. There's a little sunshine right there, but we don't have any rain coming. No, sir! Right now they say it's only a 20% chance of rain. But tonight, it'll be perfectly clear and 79 degrees and tomorrow there'll be a slight chance- there'll be slight chance of rain. 30% chance, to be exact! And that's all I have to say. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, Weatherboy! And right now we're gonna go back to Chicago for another- for some more sports. We go down the basketball game between the, ah, the, ah, what is it? Oh yeah, the Chicago Bulls and New York Nicks. And the Bulls have won the base- the basketball game. That's a score of 53 to 50! Anyway, the Bulls won the baseball game. Okay, that's all I have to say about the sports! Now we're gonna take you live to the race track on Mario Kart 64.

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Okay, here we are at the race track and there Yoshi and Mario are fine. And they're wearing these [inaudible] and their karts are out of repair so- and we are about to start a kart race for the flower cup. And we're gonna give full coverage on Mario. Su- so here we are about to start the race. Lets go live!

[''There is the noise of a Mario Kart 64 race starting up'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Here we are at Toad's Turnpike, and the race is about to start, folks! On your mark, get set, go. And here we go with the race. Keep an eye on Mario, now, cause he's our main man. Mar- And, ah, he's in third place right now. Ahead of him is Koopa and ahead of Koopa is Peach. Oh, and he makes a splendid right hand turn. Oh, and he give a green shell which he picked up to Koopa. He's closing in on Peach. He's making another turn. Oh, but peach turns ghost. Now Mario picks up another item. He shoots a green shell and gets a ghost. Uh oh! Oh, he got into the green shell he shot and now he see's the other one and he uses a ghost and what does he get? Oh, from that ghost he receives a red shell, and he bounces it off trucks, no problem. He raises his red shell and on a stair way he shoots it, and it won't hit Peach because she ha- had a banana on her, and Mario has picked up another red shell. He's raised it and he shoots it. Is it gonna hit Peach? I don't know, folks. It knocks Peach against a wall. Mario picks up... Oh man, somebody has shot a lightning bolt. It's Luigi! Oh man, Mario's on a dirt place. Oh, and Mario goes back to full size and so has everybody else. Now with only two shells, he makes another turn. On turn, he picks up another item. He shoots, and picks up a mushroom! And is on his final green shell he had to use it because Koopa had his coming. So, Mario uses the final green shell. Uh oh! Oh, [inaudible] he uses a mushroom and
he got plenty of mystery items, and he's still in second place, folks. Peach is way ahead. [inaudible] make first place but lets keep an eye on him, anyway. He's got a mystery box, a decoy box. And he puts it in- he lets it go. And he get another item, it's a red shell! I don't think it'll make Peach but he goes on ahead and shoots it, and he hits a banana peel. Oh, and he goes into a major peel out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the best races I ever seen in my life. One of the most exciting, too. Okay, and Mario makes another turn. He picks up another item. It's a lightning bolt! How lucky is that? And everybody has gotten shrunk except for Mario. And Mario hits a banana peel but he doesn't slip. He must have hit the break. And now he picks up a set of green sh- set of three green shells. Mario passes a couple of trucks. Now, he's making another turn. He almost slipped on a banana peel but the- one of his green shells took the hit for him. This is the third lap, folks. And he's almost towards the finish line. Oh, and he goes between a [inaudible] and a truck magnificently. And he passes the finish line with second place. And first place is Peach, Mario is followed by Koopa and Koopa is followed by Donkey Kong and the rest are in the last four positions. We take you now to the results. Mario is in second place with six. Peach is in first with nine. Koopa at- with three. And Donkey Kong with with one. And the rest have zero. And now we go to the next race, in Frappe Snowland, and Mario in position in second place. On your mark, get set. Oh, and Mario takes a rocket boost to start as he's tring to go to his right. He picks up...

[Chris gets cut off mid-sentence as part six ends]

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I7RFF2spayw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''Mario Kart commentating continues from last video'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' ... an item. It's a banana peel, and he is in first place. How will he use his banana peel? Just right at the turn. Now he's going over the hill. Oh, and it looks like he hit somebody. I'm not sure who it was, but he hit somebody. Oh, and he picks up a green shell, he uses it, it hits Peach. Peach is still in second place, though, but, uh, Mario is still is first. He's way ahead by some. Oh, and Mario picks up a red shell. Don't think there'll be a need for that, but he's got one. And Peach is closing in on him. He crosses the bridge. He's on his second lap! He starts the second lap, folks. He gets- he picks up another item. He lets go of- he releases his red shell, and he picks up a banana line-up. Oh, and Peach has passed him. Now Mario's in second. He throws the banana peel and Ma- and Peach slips. And he's still got the bana- got one banana peel left. And he picks up another item. It's a single banana. How's he uses it? Simple! He uses it in the- in the lot of mystery boxes. And he picks up a single mushroom as his item. How will he use it? He's keeping it. Lets see what happens, though. He makes another turn, on the curbs. He makes another- other turns. He's really keeping that mushroom, though. Not using it. He's still making his other turns. He's going over the hill. He still hasn't used his mushroom, yet. Now he goes through the field of snowmen. Now he makes another turn. Oh, and he uses that mushroom to go over that snail hill for a short-cut. Now- now he picks up another item. It's a single banana peel. And he makes another turn. Oh, but hit the wall before he can make his turn. He's lost the banana. And he crosses the bridge. And he wins in first place! That was a magnificent race, folks. Mario in first place, followed by Donkey Kong, the Koopa, then Yoshi and the rest on the last four positions. Lets go live to the results. Mario's in the lead with fifteen points. Peach is in second with nine. Donkey Kong with seven. Koopa with six. And Yoshi probaby got some points. He picked up one point and is in fifth place. The rest have zero. Now lets go live to the next race. Which is Chocolate Mountain! And Mario's in position. Ready! Set! Go! Oh, and Mario picks up another rocket boost at start. And he gets to another turn. He picks up an item. It's a single mushroom. Might as well gonna save that one for later. Now he's making another turn on the wide turn. He does it successfully. He goes through the boxes. And he still hasn't u- oh, and he hits something. He hits a hill. And, uh, Toad and Donkey Kong have past him, because he was probably thinking about something else. But right now Mario is back and he picks up three green shells. And he uses one on Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong gets Toad in a chain reaction. Now Mario is still in first place. He's still got... [inaudible]... closing in on him. He shoots one green shell to pick up an item, and it's a green she- it's another green shell. And he uses it that third green shell on Koopa. And he pulls out his new green shell. What's he gonna do with it? He shoots it behind him. And he picks up another green shell from the other item boxes. He shoots that behind him. Now he has no items. And Donkey Kong is closing in on him. But it looks like somebody [inaudible] but I dont think it was Donkey Kong. Now new item pick up. It's a red shell. And he uses immediately and hits... uh-oh, a koopa has hit Mario. He's fallen behind. He's in fourth place. No wait, now he's in third. He picks up three mushrooms. He uses them. And uses the third one to go ahead of Toad aaaand Koopa and he's out way in the lead. And Donkey Kong is somewhere 'round the hill. And Mario picks up a mushroom, now he's in second place. Now he's started using his unlimited mushroom. He makes a turn. He's still in second. He uses his mushroom. Oh, and there's Koopa not far ahead. But I'll take Mario and make it first place. Donkey Kong second and Mario makes third place. Ladies and gentlemen, was a magnificent racde, if I do say so myself. Koopa won, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Mario, followed by Toad. I'll take you live to the results. Mario's still in first place with eighteen. Koopa with fifteen. Donkey Kong with thirteen. Peach with nine. And Yoshi and Toad tied in fifth place with one. The rest have zero. Now we take you live to the next race, in the Mario Raceway. This is the final race, folks! Mario's in positions at third place. On your mark! Get set! Go! And Mario takes another rocket boost at start and he hops over Koopa. Now he picks up an item. It's a decoy mystery box. And he drops it. He make another turn. He goes around that mushroom. He picks up another item. It's a green shell, and almost straight away he shoots it behind him, but it hits nobody. Now he making his auto-turn. And he goes across the sand using another turn. And Koopa is directly behind him. But Mario is still in first place. Uh oh, he hit the grass. And Ma- and Koopa [inaudible] but he didn't pass. Mario picked up a green shell. Uh oh, Koopa's passed him. But Mario shoots his green shell and timed it right, hit Koopa. Now Peach is in second but Mario is still first. And Mario picked up... five banana peel and he uses them all straight away. And now he's taking a sneaky short-cut again usaing his auto-turn. He's way, way ahead, folks. And now he's in for the final lap. He picks up another item. And it is another green shell. He shoots it behind him. He's making his auto-turns. He's going around the mushroom. He making an auto-turn. And he picks up a mushroo- a single mushroom. I notice how he use that to hit the grass and sandy short-cut. That's a long short-cut, folks. And now Mario's passing through a tunnel. Uh oh, He makes and wrong turn and goes the wrong way. But now he's still in first place and passes finish line. Wins with first place. Ladies and gentlemen, that was a magificent race. Mario won in first, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Koopa and followed by Peach and the rest are in the last places. Lets go live to the results. Mario's won with 27 points, followed by Donkey Kong with nineteen and I didn't get to see the rest. Right, now here we are at the trophy ceremony live at Peach's castle. Let's go live. Here comes Mario as the first place winner. And here comes Donkey Kong in the third place mount. And Koopa coming up in the secon- uh here's come Koopa coming in the third place mount. I don't know. Lets see how it comes up, though. Mario get the win with first place, Donkey Kong with second an Koopa with third. And here comes the floating glow fish. He's got the trophy for Mario and the trophy is GOLD! This was a bunch of magnificent races, folks. Tell me Mario, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as Mario:''' [''his voices starts out very high pitch then lowers rather drastically''] Well, all I have to say it feel go to be a winner. I always feel like a real winner. I just need more winning, that's all. [inaudible] Thank you very much! Back to you!

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Alright! Now that's enough for the races. Back to you Ted Baster!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you! Now that's it for the Mario Kart races. Now we go back to the music. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Alright! Thank you, Ted Baster! As you know it was three o'clock before the news started but right now, with the, since we were just mplayingMario Kart 64, we are now going live with Starfox music. We gonna play the, ah, famous song from that game, Titania and Macbeth. Take it away, Fox McCloud.

[''Tape stop and resumes with Starfox 64 - Titania and Macbeth'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everyth-

[''Chris is cut off in the middle of a word'']

===Part VIII===
<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VIII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zb_pxF21DWU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====

''[Video cuts in mid sentence from previous video]''

'''Chris:''' -ing KCWC and we're about to play a couple of Disney songs now. First one we're gonna play is uh-- a good one from Aladdin and the King of Thieves. It's-it's out. Are you in or out? I don't know whether I'm in or out! ''[fake laugh]''. Dagum I'm inside... aw skip it! Anyway, here's a Disney song. Take it away, Aladdin.

''[Audio cuts out for a moment then begins playing ''Are You In Or Out?" from Aladdin and the King of Thieves.]''

''[Audio cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are tuned in to everything KCWC and it is now 9:30PM I promised you two Disney songs and I'm gonna give you the second one. It is from the movie Pocahontas and it is entitled "Just Around the River Bend." That is a very nice song you know. So take it away Pocahontas!

''[Audio cuts then begins playing "Just Around the River Bend" from Pocahontas.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' And we're back. You're listening to everything KCWC an' right now we're gonna throw another contest. Just the last one for the day and we're gonna play another song from a movie. An' if you can call in- and guess what movie this song- is from I will award that person- with a CD entitled "Frank Sinatra: The Capitol Collectors Series". An' right now we're gonna give you the song. Oh yeah, and remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Hope you enjoy the song and I hope somebody calls in. Course I'll take anybody who'll give me de right answer. Take it away mysterious song.

''[Audio skips then begins playing "Cotton Blossom" from Show Boat.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC an' right now it is a quarter to midnight. While-uh-we don't-uh I'm sorry to say, but we don't have a winner for dat- last contest. By the way that was duh-"Cotton Blossom" from the movie Show Boat. I guess nobody wanted a CD. OH well, I'll just save it for next time. But right now we're about to close up our station for the night. Bu-bu-but we're gonna give off a final little number by Frankie Sinatra. It was entitled "-igh Hopes" and I have high hopes in ya'll having good dreams tonight. ''[Elmer Fudd laugh]'' Well, good night folks. Alright, take it away Frankie, again.

''[Audio skips and begins playing "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Video cuts out in the middle of the song.]''

===Part IX===

<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TqKfySVHtpM}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
''[Video cuts in during the middle of "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Audio changes to "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[So Need a Cute Girl]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing out of tune to his own lyrics]'' Heey! Look at me! I'm sitting here sad and lonely without a fire, but a desire to not hear you say ''[in a high-pitched voice]'' "I have a boyfriend!" And I see the ladies walking along one by one! And I never wanna hear," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! Tell me why! I so need a cute girl my age! Tell me why! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" And I have no fire, but a desire. But I can not hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Why do all of the jerks-

''[trails off] [pause]''

'''Chris:''' Get all of the pretty girls, yeah! You may not know this, but I want'chu to know that I am a lonesome heart! And I have no fire, but uh, desire... To not! To not! To not! Heear! ''[unintelligible]'' UH-a a vir'in wi' rage! So need a cute girl my age! I never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Never say it now!

''[Audio cuts out before the song finishes]''

''[New audio begins, playing "Sonic Drive" by Hironobu Kageyama and Hideaki Takatori from [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|''Sonic X'']]. See also: [[Sonichu Zip]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing along to the lyrics.]'' S-O-N-I-C-H-U! S-O-N-I-C-H-U! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Most of the song is almost completely unintelligible due to the pitch of Chris's voice against the guitars and Japanese vocals]''

'''Chris:''' Born from energy of extreme power! Go wild and free at the speed of sound! Y'all keep it together in Pallet Town! And Pokémon! I have a girl! [[Rosechu]]! Fighting with physical power! Normal body shocks all villains! In a world with humans and Pokémon! Hey, look! There’s Sonic the Hedgehog!

''[Chris trails off, then back in]''

Zappin' together! Let's zip! No matter how you try, He's uncatchable! Go, Sonichu! Zipping along! Yes, Sonichu! appin' the villains when you are there! Yeah! C’mon! You’re the greatest friend! Conquer trouble! Save you all, and zip away! S-O-N-I-CHU! S-O-N-I-CHU! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Song ends then begins a new song titled "Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]]''

'''Chris:''' Are you ready to paaardaaaay! I've-been high feelin' like an outcast, alright! But let me tell you, I need some friends now, alri-EE-ght? All of this time I'm livin uuunn-oooo-O! All you peopl- what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! That is autism and that makes us seem special-- to you! I'm lookin' at you all and I see a rainbow! Come on! You think I'm different in every way, come on! All of the time past, I've been on hon-ooOO-O-roo-l! A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!

''[Chris begins howling, attempting to stay in tune with the song.]''

'''Chris:''' All of this time I've never been kn-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-OOwn ''[more howling/moaning]''. A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! ''[pause in singing]'' A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special to you!

''[Audio stops then starts up again with "[[Wikipedia:If Only Tears Could Bring You Back|If Only Tears Could Bring You Back]]" by Midnight Sons from ''[[Wikipedia:Pokémon:The First Movie|Pokémon: The First Movie]]''. See also: [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[singing over the original lyrics]'' –It took me a while, but I have realized that you are the one that can soothe my ''loneliness'' Is it too gul- Are you too busy to hang wit an ol' b- frien-

''[Video is cut off during the song]''

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]

KCWC broadcast

2011-08-16T20:45:32Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcription */

The '''KCWC broadcast''' is a taped "broadcast" of [[KCWC]] that was included as the soundtrack for the slideshow portion of the "[[DVD|Yep, I'm on TV :) DVD]]".

This "broadcast" is notable of Chris's childlike behavior, with [[Barbara Chandler|his mom]] "calling in" to request a song for [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] seventy-first birthday and humoring Chris like a six-year-old, as well as the fact that many of the songs he plays are from [[video games]]. Though many video games do have catchy themes, no one in their right mind would listen to them over the radio.

Besides the crappy video game music, the only other songs Chris plays are old songs that nobody from his generation onwards has probably ever heard of, all from the 1930s to 1950s by artists such as [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] and [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]]. We can probably thank Bob for [[Chris_and_music#Musical_tastes|Chris's musical tastes]].

The broadcast has several special "guests," notably [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|''Alvin and the Chipmunks'']], as well as [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]], who, after riding on board [[Daniel Weston|the Mayflower]] to the [[United States of America|new world]], has apparently became a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] fan. Keep in mind, this was made when he was ''sixteen'' years old, in his junior year of [[Manchester High School|high school]].

Also, on the DVD cover, Chris incorrectly says that this was taped in August [[1997]]. This is impossible, as there is a commercial on this tape for [[Wikipedia:Cousin Skeeter|''Cousin Skeeter'']], a show on [[Wikipedia:Nickelodeon (TV channel)|Nickelodeon]] that premiered in September [[1998]], and Bob wouldn't turn 71 until this month, either. It is pretty sad that Chris can't remember when his father's birthday is.

==Audio==
===Part I===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|S-jRds729ZI}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
'''Chris:'''[''whispering''] Quiet, we're on the air.

[''Chris poorly imitates the NBC chimes, followed by a weird random noise'']

'''Chris:''' [''ba-ba-ba-bum in a singing voice''] ''It's time to open up that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station K-C-W-C! And here is your host, with the most, Christian Chandler!'' [''ba-ba-ba-bum'']

[tape skips between recording]

'''Chris:''' Good morning, [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, and dudes of all ages]]! This is your host Christian Chandler here on everything KCWC. You know I usually wake up
[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|a little cranky]] in the morning when I wake up, 'cause you know it's six o-clock in the morning. But this morning I feel like [[Chris and Ego|I own the world]], I can do anything I want. So this morning we're gonna start us off with a little ditty from ol' [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frankie Sinatra]]. This song is titled [''bad singing voice''], "I Got the World on a Stri-i-ing." [''normal voice''] That's a real good song, y'know? So take it away, Frankie, and get [[Red String of Fate|that string]] wrapped around on your finger, we're also gonna have some rain! [''Chris laughs'']

[tape skips again]

[Frank Sinatra's version of "[[Wikipedia:I've Got the World on a String|I've Got the World on a String]]" plays]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Well, I got more to come along with more tunes and all that, 'cause you're listening to everything KCWC. Before we release the next song, I happen to have a guest star in the studio with me, you wanna know who he is? I'll tell ya, here he is, ol' [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]], let's give him a big hand! [''Chris claps as the tape stops'']

[A recording of [[Wikipedia:Chico Marx|Chico Marx]] appearing on radio show ''[[Wikipedia:The Fitch Bandwagon|The Fitch Bandwagon]]'' plays, after Marx does a comedy bit, [[Wikipedia:Skip Nelson|Skip Nelson]]'s "Velvet Moon" plays.]

[Tape stops and resumes recording with Chris clapping]

'''Chris:''' Now wasn't that a great song, folks? Whattaya say, Chico Marx? How does it feel to be here on station KCWC?

'''Chris:''' [''badly impersonating Chico Marx in a high pitched voice''] Well I must say I feels, it uh-feels to be great here's on this station on the uh-radio. And I really must be going.

'''Chris:''' Oh well, when you gotta go, when you gotta go. Right, Chico?

'''Chris:''' [''in his Chico voice''] That's right, I'll see you later, kids! Bye!

'''Chris:''' O-okay, bye! Well, wasn't he a great guest star folks? But I gotta tell you what now, we had a request for a certain song from a certain movie. Well I'm gonna throw a contest [stutters], now I'm gonna throw a surprise, I'm gonna give away a dinner for two at O'Toole's. If anyone can guess which movie this specific song came from. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Remember that number, and I'll take any caller who will call in. I hope somebody who calls in, will win. Okay, take it away mysterious movie!

[Tape stops again and resumes with "[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] playing. Part one stops in the middle of this song.]

===Part II===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aNSPbPdcWZo}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
[''"[[Wikipedia:Oh,_What_a_Beautiful_Mornin'|Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin']]" by [[Wikipedia:Joe Loss|Joe Loss]] resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.'']

'''Chris:''' Wasn't that a beautiful song, folks? Oh yes, that was- that song was "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" from the famous movie "Oklahoma" and we got a winner here, folks! His name is Fredrick C. Wilberg, and he'll be a wi-he'll get that there out to toe-tools. I hope [[Homos|he and his friend enjoys themselves]], but right now we're gonna cut from the music, and go right to the news!

'''Chris:''' So here it is, take it away, news! [''Chris imitates a radio station's news transition jingle with a series of "do do do do"s before switching to what he believed to be a deeper voice''] Good evening! This is Ted Baxter here with the news. First we will go with our [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|local news]]. Here we are at the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|Mario racetrack]] where we just had an accident. Mario and Yoshi went bumper-to-bumper and their tires fell off, but don't worry, nothing much though. [[Chris and reality|They just got-they each just got cut on their left knees]], but don't worry, their mommies are taking care of them, and now--and now, and the carts are being pulled away into the cart garage and everthing will be okay soon. As a matter of fact, they're gonna be repaired by noon. [''half-assed laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Anyway, here we go to the weather. Take it away, Weatherboy. [''Chris's voice shifts into a higher pitch, possibly an extremely bad New Jersey accent''] Okay! 'ere we go with the weather! We see the ha-with the-with the-with the local weather! here in Richmond it is now 89 degrees and partly cloudy, but tomorrow it's gonna be different. Actually, tonight, it'll be 91 degrees and, uh, there will be no rain. No rain, but it will be perfectly clear, and uh, tomorrow, it will be 91 degrees and, well, perfectly sunny, but we're maybe due for a shower though as a 30% chance. Back to you Ted.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris shifts back into his news caster voice''] Okay Weatherboy, and now we're gonna go to a bank robbery that just happened right now. Take it away Copter 1.

[''He assumes the voice of the fabled Helicopter pilot above the bank robbery scene'']

'''Chris:''' This is Copter 1, reporting live in a chase scene. We're chasing the burglar from the bank-which has escaped from the bank right now with five million dollars. I'm here with the bank manager, and I'm gonna get a word from him-what he thinks about this. Tell me, mister bank manager, what do you think about this?

[''Chris's voice attempts a deep and husky voice, possibly that of a middle-aged man'']

'''Chris:''' I think it is very bad of this man to steal $5 million from my own bank! As a matter of fact, I'm offering a [[Chris and money|$1,000 reward]] to anyone who captures this criminal who's taken my five mills. Why am I not going to give away a $5 million reward you ask? Well, we need the money, daggat's for sure. Heheh. Anyway that's all I have to say. I hope you catch 'em.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' ...And there we have it! Back to you, Ted.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, you keep uh, following that burglar now. By the way, did you get his license number?

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Oh yeah, that's right! His license number is 3C54.

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you very much. Okay, and we got also got a sports game to report before we go back to the music. We got the Pittsburgh Pirates- we had the baseball game today here in Chicago, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Chicago White Sox, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the White Sox with a difference of 3 points. This is unbelievable. 50 to 53. In the Pittsburgh Pirates' favor. Now isn't that a funny thing though. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Okay! Before we go back to the tunes, we're gonna take a little commercial break right now. So and so just relax and everything will be fine.

[''The recording cuts to the audio of a commercial for [[Obesity|Goldfish snack crackers, followed by a Burger King commercial]] for Cousin Skeeter and Allen Strange toys, an advertisement for a Surf 'n' Turf CD/Cassette, a National Geographic commercial, and a Cow and Chicken ad.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, welcome back to the tunes. You're listening to the station everything KCWC, and right now we're gonna play a little something for those who love video games. We're gonna play the Mario Kart 64 theme, and because that theme is a short song, we're also gonna throw in some "Circuit Select" songs. And you know why we're throwing this in? Because Mario Kart 64 is a great game and we happen to like it too. As a matter of fact, we even have it, and we've played it. So take it away, Mario Kart 64! Ha-ha.

[''The recording cuts once again to Mario Kart 64's Circuit Select music, as well as its theme for the next two minutes until it is cut off by the end of part two.'']

===Part III===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part III
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tAVkrAdqrYU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====
The ''Mario Kart 64'' Circuit Select theme resumes, finishing before Chris begins to speak.

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EVERYTHING station KCWC. And uh, during that ''Mario Kart 64'' song, we got a request from a little young boy of uh five years old. His name is, uh, Christopher Chandler. He's a first-time caller, but a long-time listener. He put in a request for a theme-for the theme song of a very famous [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]. So I'm gonna throw in another contest. The prize this time is a game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. If anyone call in and guess the name of the game that this song came from-it is in the handsong and it is the theme song of that game. Anyway, if anyone can call in and guess the name of the game, I'll give them the game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course. And remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC, and I'll take ANY caller who can call-who'll call in and give the right answer. Okay, so take it away, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I hope somebody wins.

[tape stops and leads to the theme song of "Sonic and Knuckles"]

[tape stops and Chris resumes speaking]

'''Chris:''' And you are listening to everything KCWC. And that song was the "Sonic and Knuckles" theme song. And we got a winner here, folks. His name is [[Wikipedia:Myles Standish|Myles Standish]]. And he told me to tell you the he was one of the members of a s- one of the Sonic the Hedgehog website on the [[Internet]]. By the way, speaking of which, I've also wanted to play that Sonic & Knuckles song because I heard that there were a lot of sites on the Web created by lots of Sonic the Hedgehog fans. Anyway, Myles Standish has won that, uh, game for two at Putt-Putt Golf Course, so he and a friend of his can enjoy themselves for a game at Putt-Putt Golf Course. Anyway, uh, nuh, anyway, enough of the video games. I'm gonna play...I'm gonna nuh, the next selection that I'm gonna play is, uh another Frank Sinatra number called "[[Wikipedia:Love and Marriage|Love and Marriage]]". And boy, that is an institute you can't disparage. Oh by the way, just to let you know, it's 9:30 a.m. Now I wanted to mention that. Anyway, uh, take it away, Frankie!

[tape stops and "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris:''' You are listening to station KCWC. Everything! And wasn't that a great song, folks? Now right now, we're gonna play another song, except this time we're gonna play a little [[Christmas]] song. As a matter of fact, I have a guest star, as a matter of fact, three guest stars here who happen to have sang that song. Can you guess who they are? [pause] I'll tell you then! It's [[Wikipedia:Alvin and the Chipmunks|:Alvin and the Chipmunks]]. Let's give 'em a big hand!

[Chris claps]

'''Chris as one of the Chipmunks: ''' [indistinct]

'''Chris as another Chipmunk: ''' You said it!

'''Chris as the third Chipmunk: ''' We're going [[Tobacky|smoking]]!

'''Chris: ''' Say, Alvin, how does it feel to be at station KCWC?

'''Chris trying to sound like Alvin: ''' Yeah, it's great, man!

'''Chris: ''' Well, you'd better plug your ears, then, because we're about to play...

[Chris's voice gets cut off as part three ends]

===Part IV===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sNKPhZ2ea_w}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris: ''' ...a [[Christmas]] song! I gonna play... ''[Sings in a sing-song voice]'' Over the river and through the woods! You like... ya liked that song, didn't cha?

'''Chris trying to sound like Simon: ''': Yeaaah, I liked it, but I don't think Alvin does cause it didn't feature his hula hoop! ''[Annoying laugh]'' Ah ah ah ahh!

'''Chris: ''' Heh heh heh, that's funny, Simon. Well, take it away, ya chipmunks, and ''[indistinct]'' and go to ya grandmudda hou- grandma's house! Ah ah ah!

[tape stops and a chipmunk rendition of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv4BBori8Ac| Over The River And Through The Woods]" plays]

[tape resumes as Chris speaks]

'''Chris: ''' Alright, you're listening to everything KCWC. And wasn't those Chip- wasn't those Chipmunks great? But they had to leave so soon. Oh well, nobody's perfect. Right away, don't forget last summer we got a request from a me- member of the Sonic the Hedg- from one of the Sonic the Hedgehog websites. Her name was Lezzie Lylelesh, [''Not sure about this name, someone help?''] and she requested that we play the [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']] song, "Sonic Boom." And she also requested that we play the long version! So that's what we'll give her, cause we happen to have the copy of the Sega CD game right here. So take it away, Sonic, and give us that booming song! Ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyWwy0YOmU| Sonic Boom]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Alright ya'll listenin to the station everything KCWC, and wasn't that a great song, folks? Get down, man! Heh heh! Well, right now, we're gonna play for you: a Disney song! It happens to be from one of my favorite movies, ''[spoken quickly]'' as you might have guessed, one of the most popular movies, [[Cole_Smithey#Internet_infamy|Toy Story]]! Yeah, that's right, it's that famous song, "[[Wikipedia:You've Got A Friend In Me|You've Got A Friend In Me]]." And boy, wasn't that [[Wikipedia:Buzz Lightyear|Buzz Lightyear]] funny, I mean,

'''Chris trying to sound like Buzz Lightyear: ''' To infinity and beyond!

'''Chris: ''' Ah, ah, well, anyway, take it away, Buzz and [[Duck|Woody]], with that famous song of yours, ah ah!

[tape stops and "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcXURC_nNhc| You've Got A Friend In Me]" plays]

'''Chris: ''' Now wasn't that a great Disney song, folks? Well, I thought it was great too. But right now we're gonna- take a break from the tunes and take a little commercial break. But first, a word from our sponsor, the [[I Love Lucy|''I Love Lucy'' show]]!

'''Chris trying to sound like Lucy:''' ''Hello friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? [[DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS|Do you poop out at parties?]] Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin. Yes, Vitameatavegamin contains Vitamins Meat Vegetables and Minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegamin, you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a great big tablespoonful after every meal. Mmmmmmm..... It's so tasty, too! Mmm! Tastes just like candy! So why don't you join all the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow! That's Vita-meata-vegamin!

I love Lucy and she loves me. We're as happy as two can be. Sometimes we quarrel but then... ha ha ha How we love making up again. Lucy kisses like no one can. She's my Mrs. and I'm her man. Life is heaven you see, Cause I love Lucy, and I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!!''

'''Chris: ''' Hey there, all you [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|guys, gals, dudes of all ages]]! Well, you're listening to the everything KCWC, this is your host, Christian Chandler, and, uh, before we, emm, announce the next song, we're gonna give you our joke of the day! And this joke comes from, ehh, Christopher Chandler from [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]! And the joke goes like this.

'''Chris as his younger self:''' Why is six afraid of se-

[Chris gets cut off mid-joke as part four ends]

===Part V===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part V
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Sw3gT38hJNA}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

'''Chris as his younger self:''' ''[resumes mid-joke from part four into part five.]'' -ven. 'Cuz seven, eight nine!

'''Chris:''' ''[Chris laughs]'' Now that's a pretty funny one! Thank you Christopher Chandler. Anyway, our next song is another Disney song and it is entitled ''[Chris badly sings]'' "Ooh, oopey doo, oobey doo, I wanna be like yo-hoo-hou, wapey do-ee do wah!" from the Jungle Book. Yeah, that's right, the Jungle Book. Okay Tink-okay Kemuway take it away. Oh by the way Luey, I don't want to be like you! ''[Chris laughs]''

''[Tape cuts out in the middle of the recording then resumes]''

''"I Wan'na Be Like You" sung by [[Wikipedia:Louis Prima|Louis Prima]] for the Disney film ''[[Wikipedia:The Jungle Book (1967 film)|The Jungle Book]]'' plays]''

''[Tape cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'ery thing KCWC. And it is now one-thirty in the afternoon and we're going to-- ''[Chris cuts himself off with vocalized phone rings]'' Uh-oh, gotta call on line one. ''[Bloops and Chris pretends to answer the phone]'' 'Allo! It's your time, what's your rhyme!

'''Barbara Chandler:''' Hello! My name is Barbara Chandler and I'm calling to request a song for my husband for his birthday - ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' His name is [[Bob Chandler]] and he's 71 years old today. ''[Chris interrupts]''

'''Chris:''' No kiddin'.

'''Barbara:''' ''[In a very-mildly agitated tone]'' and the song I would like to request is "[[Wikipedia:A Bushel and a Peck|A Bushel and a Peck]]". ''[Chris interrupts for a third time]''

'''Chris:''' A bushel on a peck, an' a hug aroun'da neck for a seventy-one-year-old man. ''[light laugh]''

'''Barbara:''' Ah think so. Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' ''[Quickly]'' Okay bye.

'''Barbara:''' Bye.

'''Chris:''' Ya heard it righ' here folks a-a request for birfday boy here. So a Happy Birthday goes out to Robert Chandler. And we will p'say "A Bushel and a Peck" from [[Wikipedia:Guys and Dolls|''Guys and Dolls'']].

''[Tape cuts out, then begins playing "A Bushel and a Peck" from Guys and Dolls]''

''[Tape cuts back in]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to EV'erything [[KCWC]]. And right now we're gonna go down to the top tens- songs. Of them all. Cuz I gotta start up with um'uh-nuh we're gonna start um' right now.

Number Ten is- uh- "[[Wikipedia:Go the Distance|Go the Distance]]" from [[Wikipedia:Hercules (1997 film)|''Hercules'']]. Number Nine is uh- "ccc" from- The Chipmunks. Number Eight is uh- "The Results Theme" from Mario Kart 64. Number Seven is "Saddle Up" is from Virtual Sonic. Number Five is, uh- uh- the uh-Opening theme from Starfox 64. And Number Three is the uh ''[[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog CD| The Palmtreee Panic]]'' background song from the Sonic's CD. And Number Two is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story. And the number one hit song which we're gon'play up next- uh- "What's More American" sung by Bing Crosby.

Take it away Bing!

''[Tape cuts out at the end of part Five]''

===Part VI===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VI
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mHRCvY9GjhU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''There's a long silence until 00:20 when "What's More American" resumes.'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC. And right now it is 3 o'clock and we're gonna take a break from the music and get right back to you with the news. Okay, Ted newcaster, take it away!

[''Chris lowers his voice and somehow sounds even more retarded than usual'']

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you, Mr. Chandler! Well first of we're gonna go back to the robbery that's in- that's in- still in progress. Come in copter one.

[''Chris makes noises I presume to be helicopter noises and does the voice for copter one'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Here I am in copter one, folks. Again with the bank manager and we're still chasing the robber. And he's on his- he's nearing his hide-out. Okay, here he is parking his car. Getting out of the car with the five million dollars in his suitcase. [inaudible] And luckily I have a police escort with me so we're gonna land now and catch the burglar. Goin' on down now!

[''Chris makes more helicopter noises'']

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, here I am now at the place I'm go in and capture that burglar. Okay, lets go!

[''Chris puts on a deeper, more authoritative voice, presumably pretending to be a policeman'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Okay, Robber! You got five seconds to get outta there with the five million dollars or we gonna bust on in and get it ourselves. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Okay men, send them in.

[''Chris seems to fart'']

'''Chris as policeman:''' Alright, we got ya surrounded! Come out with your hands up!

[''Chris makes strange high-pitched noises'']

'''Chris as robber:''' Okay, okay! I'm out, please don't shoot! Don't shoot! Dont't shoot! I give up! I give up! I give up! Here's the five million dollars. I give up! I give up! Please take me in! Take me in! I'll never commit a crime anymore.

'''Chris as policeman:''' Good job, men! Listen, five million dollars gets a thousand dollar reward. Donate it to the Richmond station. Okay, c'mon men, lets get outta here!

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' And there you have it. We just had the capture of the burglar and the retrieving of the five million dollars. So tell me, Mr. bank manager, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as the bank manager:''' Well, all I have to say is that I [inaudible]. He sang like a true coward. So, and he's gonna- he also face going to jail so he might give up the life of crime and I won't have any more money stolen. That's all I have to say.

'''Chris as Copter 1:''' Okay, you heard right here live on station KCWC. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you- thank you, copter one. Okay, right now we're gonna go back to the weather. Weatherboy...

'''Chris as Weatherboy:''' [clears throat] Eh, yes, and right now it is- right now it is 91 degrees and now it's mostly cloudy. There's a little sunshine right there, but we don't have any rain coming. No, sir! Right now they say it's only a 20% chance of rain. But tonight, it'll be perfectly clear and 79 degrees and tomorrow there'll be a slight chance- there'll be slight chance of rain. 30% chance, to be exact! And that's all I have to say. Back to you, Ted!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Okay, Weatherboy! And right now we're gonna go back to Chicago for another- for some more sports. We go down the basketball game between the, ah, the, ah, what is it? Oh yeah, the Chicago Bulls and New York Nicks. And the Bulls have won the base- the basketball game. That's a score of 53 to 50! Anyway, the Bulls won the baseball game. Okay, that's all I have to say about the sports! Now we're gonna take you live to the race track on Mario Kart 64.

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Okay, here we are at the race track and there Yoshi and Mario are fine. And they're wearing these [inaudible] and their karts are out of repair so- and we are about to start a kart race for the flower cup. And we're gonna give full coverage on Mario. Su- so here we are about to start the race. Lets go live!

[''There is the noise of a Mario Kart 64 race starting up'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Here we are at Toad's Turnpike, and the race is about to start, folks! On your mark, get set, go. And here we go with the race. Keep an eye on Mario, now, cause he's our main man. Mar- And, ah, he's in third place right now. Ahead of him is Koopa and ahead of Koopa is Peach. Oh, and he makes a splendid right hand turn. Oh, and he give a green shell which he picked up to Koopa. He's closing in on Peach. He's making another turn. Oh, but peach turns ghost. Now Mario picks up another item. He shoots a green shell and gets a ghost. Uh oh! Oh, he got into the green shell he shot and now he see's the other one and he uses a ghost and what does he get? Oh, from that ghost he receives a red shell, and he bounces it off trucks, no problem. He raises his red shell and on a stair way he shoots it, and it won't hit Peach because she ha- had a banana on her, and Mario has picked up another red shell. He's raised it and he shoots it. Is it gonna hit Peach? I don't know, folks. It knocks Peach against a wall. Mario picks up... Oh man, somebody has shot a lightning bolt. It's Luigi! Oh man, Mario's on a dirt place. Oh, and Mario goes back to full size and so has everybody else. Now with only two shells, he makes another turn. On turn, he picks up another item. He shoots, and picks up a mushroom! And is on his final green shell he had to use it because Koopa had his coming. So, Mario uses the final green shell. Uh oh! Oh, [inaudible] he uses a mushroom and
he got plenty of mystery items, and he's still in second place, folks. Peach is way ahead. [inaudible] make first place but lets keep an eye on him, anyway. He's got a mystery box, a decoy box. And he puts it in- he lets it go. And he get another item, it's a red shell! I don't think it'll make Peach but he goes on ahead and shoots it, and he hits a banana peel. Oh, and he goes into a major peel out. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the best races I ever seen in my life. One of the most exciting, too. Okay, and Mario makes another turn. He picks up another item. It's a lightning bolt! How lucky is that? And everybody has gotten shrunk except for Mario. And Mario hits a banana peel but he doesn't slip. He must have hit the break. And now he picks up a set of green sh- set of three green shells. Mario passes a couple of trucks. Now, he's making another turn. He almost slipped on a banana peel but the- one of his green shells took the hit for him. This is the third lap, folks. And he's almost towards the finish line. Oh, and he goes between a [inaudible] and a truck magnificently. And he passes the finish line with second place. And first place is Peach, Mario is followed by Koopa and Koopa is followed by Donkey Kong and the rest are in the last four positions. We take you now to the results. Mario is in second place with six. Peach is in first with nine. Koopa at- with three. And Donkey Kong with with one. And the rest have zero. And now we go to the next race, in Frappe Snowland, and Mario in position in second place. On your mark, get set. Oh, and Mario takes a rocket boost to start as he's tring to go to his right. He picks up...

[Chris gets cut off mid-sentence as part six ends]

===Part VII===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|I7RFF2spayw}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}
====Transcription====

[''Mario Kart commentating continues from last video'']

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' ... an item. It's a banana peel, and he is in first place. How will he use his banana peel? Just right at the turn. Now he's going over the hill. Oh, and it looks like he hit somebody. I'm not sure who it was, but he hit somebody. Oh, and he picks up a green shell, he uses it, it hits Peach. Peach is still in second place, though, but, uh, Mario is still is first. He's way ahead by some. Oh, and Mario picks up a red shell. Don't think there'll be a need for that, but he's got one. And Peach is closing in on him. He crosses the bridge. He's on his second lap! He starts the second lap, folks. He gets- he picks up another item. He lets go of- he releases his red shell, and he picks up a banana line-up. Oh, and Peach has passed him. Now Mario's in second. He throws the banana peel and Ma- and Peach slips. And he's still got the bana- got one banana peel left. And he picks up another item. It's a single banana. How's he uses it? Simple! He uses it in the- in the lot of mystery boxes. And he picks up a single mushroom as his item. How will he use it? He's keeping it. Lets see what happens, though. He makes another turn, on the curbs. He makes another- other turns. He's really keeping that mushroom, though. Not using it. He's still making his other turns. He's going over the hill. He still hasn't used his mushroom, yet. Now he goes through the field of snowmen. Now he makes another turn. Oh, and he uses that mushroom to go over that snail hill for a short-cut. Now- now he picks up another item. It's a single banana peel. And he makes another turn. Oh, but hit the wall before he can make his turn. He's lost the banana. And he crosses the bridge. And he wins in first place! That was a magnificent race, folks. Mario in first place, followed by Donkey Kong, the Koopa, then Yoshi and the rest on the last four positions. Lets go live to the results. Mario's in the lead with fifteen points. Peach is in second with nine. Donkey Kong with seven. Koopa with six. And Yoshi probaby got some points. He picked up one point and is in fifth place. The rest have zero. Now lets go live to the next race. Which is Chocolate Mountain! And Mario's in position. Ready! Set! Go! Oh, and Mario picks up another rocket boost at start. And he gets to another turn. He picks up an item. It's a single mushroom. Might as well gonna save that one for later. Now he's making another turn on the wide turn. He does it successfully. He goes through the boxes. And he still hasn't u- oh, and he hits something. He hits a hill. And, uh, Toad and Donkey Kong have past him, because he was probably thinking about something else. But right now Mario is back and he picks up three green shells. And he uses one on Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong gets Toad in a chain reaction. Now Mario is still in first place. He's still got... [inaudible]... closing in on him. He shoots one green shell to pick up an item, and it's a green she- it's another green shell. And he uses it that third green shell on Koopa. And he pulls out his new green shell. What's he gonna do with it? He shoots it behind him. And he picks up another green shell from the other item boxes. He shoots that behind him. Now he has no items. And Donkey Kong is closing in on him. But it looks like somebody [inaudible] but I dont think it was Donkey Kong. Now new item pick up. It's a red shell. And he uses immediately and hits... uh-oh, a koopa has hit Mario. He's fallen behind. He's in fourth place. No wait, now he's in third. He picks up three mushrooms. He uses them. And uses the third one to go ahead of Toad aaaand Koopa and he's out way in the lead. And Donkey Kong is somewhere 'round the hill. And Mario picks up a mushroom, now he's in second place. Now he's started using his unlimited mushroom. He makes a turn. He's still in second. He uses his mushroom. Oh, and there's Koopa not far ahead. But I'll take Mario and make it first place. Donkey Kong second and Mario makes third place. Ladies and gentlemen, was a magnificent racde, if I do say so myself. Koopa won, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Mario, followed by Toad. I'll take you live to the results. Mario's still in first place with eighteen. Koopa with fifteen. Donkey Kong with thirteen. Peach with nine. And Yoshi and Toad tied in fifth place with one. The rest have zero. Now we take you live to the next race, in the Mario Raceway. This is the final race, folks! Mario's in positions at third place. On your mark! Get set! Go! And Mario takes another rocket boost at start and he hops over Koopa. Now he picks up an item. It's a decoy mystery box. And he drops it. He make another turn. He goes around that mushroom. He picks up another item. It's a green shell, and almost straight away he shoots it behind him, but it hits nobody. Now he making his auto-turn. And he goes across the sand using another turn. And Koopa is directly behind him. But Mario is still in first place. Uh oh, he hit the grass. And Ma- and Koopa [inaudible] but he didn't pass. Mario picked up a green shell. Uh oh, Koopa's passed him. But Mario shoots his green shell and timed it right, hit Koopa. Now Peach is in second but Mario is still first. And Mario picked up... five banana peel and he uses them all straight away. And now he's taking a sneaky short-cut again usaing his auto-turn. He's way, way ahead, folks. And now he's in for the final lap. He picks up another item. And it is another green shell. He shoots it behind him. He's making his auto-turns. He's going around the mushroom. He making an auto-turn. And he picks up a mushroo- a single mushroom. I notice how he use that to hit the grass and sandy short-cut. That's a long short-cut, folks. And now Mario's passing through a tunnel. Uh oh, He makes and wrong turn and goes the wrong way. But now he's still in first place and passes finish line. Wins with first place. Ladies and gentlemen, that was a magificent race. Mario won in first, followed by Donkey Kong, followed by Koopa and followed by Peach and the rest are in the last places. Lets go live to the results. Mario's won with 27 points, followed by Donkey Kong with nineteen and I didn't get to see the rest. Right, now here we are at the trophy ceremony live at Peach's castle. Let's go live. Here comes Mario as the first place winner. And here comes Donkey Kong in the third place mount. And Koopa coming up in the secon- uh here's come Koopa coming in the third place mount. I don't know. Lets see how it comes up, though. Mario get the win with first place, Donkey Kong with second an Koopa with third. And here comes the floating glow fish. He's got the trophy for Mario and the trophy is GOLD! This was a bunch of magnificent races, folks. Tell me Mario, what do you have to say about this?

'''Chris as Mario:''' [''his voices starts out very high pitch then lowers rather drastically''] Well, all I have to say it feel go to be a winner. I always feel like a real winner. I just need more winning, that's all. [inaudible] Thank you very much! Back to you!

'''Chris as sports commentator:''' Alright! Now that's enough for the races. Back to you Ted Baster!

'''Chris as Ted the Newscaster:''' Thank you! Now that's it for the Mario Kart races. Now we go back to the music. Back to you, Christian Chandler.

'''Chris:''' Alright! Thank you, Ted Baster! As you know it was three o'clock before the news started but right now, with the, since we were just mplayingMario Kart 64, we are now going live with Starfox music. We gonna play the, ah, famous song from that game, Titania and Macbeth. Take it away, Fox McCloud.

[''Tape stop and resumes with Starfox 64 - Titania and Macbeth'']

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everyth-

[''Chris is cut off in the middle of a word'']

===Part VIII===
<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part VIII
| video = {{#ev:youtube|zb_pxF21DWU}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====

''[Video cuts in mid sentence from previous video]''

'''Chris:''' -ing KCWC and we're about to play a couple of Disney songs now. First one we're gonna play is uh-- a good one from Aladdin and the King of Thieves. It's-it's out. Are you in or out? I don't know whether I'm in or out! ''[fake laugh]''. Dagum I'm inside... aw skip it! Anyway, here's a Disney song. Take it away, Aladdin.

''[Audio cuts out for a moment then begins playing ''Are You In Or Out?" from Aladdin and the King of Thieves.]''

''[Audio cuts back out and in again]''

'''Chris:''' You are tuned in to everything KCWC and it is now 9:30PM I promised you two Disney songs and I'm gonna give you the second one. It is from the movie Pocahontas and it is entitled "Just Around the River Bend." That is a very nice song you know. So take it away Pocahontas!

''[Audio cuts then begins playing "Just Around the River Bend" from Pocahontas.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' And we're back. You're listening to everything KCWC an' right now we're gonna throw another contest. Just the last one for the day and we're gonna play another song from a movie. An' if you can call in- and guess what movie this song- is from I will award that person- with a CD entitled "Frank Sinatra: The Capitol Collectors Series". An' right now we're gonna give you the song. Oh yeah, and remember, the phone number to call is 555-KCWC. Hope you enjoy the song and I hope somebody calls in. Course I'll take anybody who'll give me de right answer. Take it away mysterious song.

''[Audio skips then begins playing "Cotton Blossom" from Show Boat.]''

''[Audio skips]''

'''Chris:''' You are listening to everything KCWC an' right now it is a quarter to midnight. While-uh-we don't-uh I'm sorry to say, but we don't have a winner for dat- last contest. By the way that was duh-"Cotton Blossom" from the movie Show Boat. I guess nobody wanted a CD. OH well, I'll just save it for next time. But right now we're about to close up our station for the night. Bu-bu-but we're gonna give off a final little number by Frankie Sinatra. It was entitled "-igh Hopes" and I have high hopes in ya'll having good dreams tonight. ''[Elmer Fudd laugh]'' Well, good night folks. Alright, take it away Frankie, again.

''[Audio skips and begins playing "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Video cuts out in the middle of the song.]''

===Part IX===

<center>{{Protip|The original copy of this video was muted by Warner Music Group (WMG), as Christian used a song in this video without permission. (Of course) Unfortunately (or not), it was muted at the video level; therefore, this copy has no sound,}}</center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :) - CWC's SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics, Part IX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TqKfySVHtpM}}
| stardate = 4 [[1990s#1998|September 1998]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
| next = [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]
}}

====Transcription====
''[Video cuts in during the middle of "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra.]''

''[Audio changes to "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[So Need a Cute Girl]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing out of tune to his own lyrics]'' Heey! Look at me! I'm sitting here sad and lonely without a fire, but a desire to not hear you say ''[in a high-pitched voice]'' "I have a boyfriend!" And I see the ladies walking along one by one! And I never wanna hear," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! Tell me why! I so need a cute girl my age! Tell me why! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" And I have no fire, but a desire. But I can not hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Why do all of the jerks-

''[trails off] [pause]''

'''Chris:''' Get all of the pretty girls, yeah! You may not know this, but I want'chu to know that I am a lonesome heart! And I have no fire, but uh, desire... To not! To not! To not! Heear! ''[unintelligible]'' UH-a a vir'in wi' rage! So need a cute girl my age! I never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Tell me why! I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! I so need a cute girl my age! I ain't never wanna hear you say," I have a boyfriend!" Never say it now!

''[Audio cuts out before the song finishes]''

''[New audio begins, playing "Sonic Drive" by Hironobu Kageyama and Hideaki Takatori from [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|''Sonic X'']]. See also: [[Sonichu Zip]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[Singing along to the lyrics.]'' S-O-N-I-C-H-U! S-O-N-I-C-H-U! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Most of the song is almost completely unintelligible due to the pitch of Chris's voice against the guitars and Japanese vocals]''

'''Chris:''' Born from energy of extreme power! Go wild and free at the speed of sound! Y'all keep it together in Pallet Town! And Pokémon! I have a girl! [[Rosechu]]! Fighting with physical power! Normal body shocks all villains! In a world with humans and Pokémon! Hey, look! There’s Sonic the Hedgehog!

''[Chris trails off, then back in]''

Zappin' together! Let's zip! No matter how you try, He's uncatchable! Go, Sonichu! Zipping along! Yes, Sonichu! appin' the villains when you are there! Yeah! C’mon! You’re the greatest friend! Conquer trouble! Save you all, and zip away! S-O-N-I-CHU! S-O-N-I-CHU! Go! Go! Go! Go! Let's zip!

''[Song ends then begins a new song titled "Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys. See also: [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]]''

'''Chris:''' Are you ready to paaardaaaay! I've-been high feelin' like an outcast, alright! But let me tell you, I need some friends now, alri-EE-ght? All of this time I'm livin uuunn-oooo-O! All you peopl- what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! That is autism and that makes us seem special-- to you! I'm lookin' at you all and I see a rainbow! Come on! You think I'm different in every way, come on! All of the time past, I've been on hon-ooOO-O-roo-l! A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!

''[Chris begins howling, attempting to stay in tune with the song.]''

'''Chris:''' All of this time I've never been kn-oo-OO-oo-OO-oo-OO-OOwn ''[more howling/moaning]''. A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! ''[pause in singing]'' A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! (And) that makes us seem special to you! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special! That makes us seem special to you!

''[Audio stops then starts up again with "[[Wikipedia:If Only Tears Could Bring You Back|If Only Tears Could Bring You Back]]" by Midnight Sons from ''[[Wikipedia:Pokémon:The First Movie|Pokémon: The First Movie]]''. See also: [[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]]''

'''Chris:''' ''[singing over the original lyrics]'' –It took me a while, but I have realized that you are the one that can soothe my ''loneliness'' Is it too gul- Are you too busy to hang wit an ol' b- frien-

''[Video is cut off during the song]''

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-02-24]]

Correction of EX relationship status

2011-08-11T03:53:47Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

{{Recent}}
'''Correction of EX relationship status''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 10 [[August 2011]]. Chris uses this video to [[retcon|clarify]] his references to the [[Wallflower]] in previous videos as his ex-girlfriend, instead insisting that she was simply a friend who is female, who he is no longer friends with. Chris then announces that he has a girlfriend.

== Video ==
{{quote|**Normally, I would not mind a "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria Morgandorfer]]" like "Wallflower", but after how COLD she was to me, and spooking me bad today, I would not want to have anything to do with her even if she did a COMPLETE emotional 180.}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Correction of EX relationship status
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wQEdnYD9axU}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, Unknown
| previous = [[Calling Out#Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello! I am making this, uh, additional video on the side to, uh, note a correction. Uh, in the recent-uh, in the recent video, where I mentioned that, uh, Heather was my ex girlfriend, I did not mean that the way it sounded. I meant the term loosely in that she was a [[Gal Pal|girl, and that she was a friend of mine]], but then because of what happened soon after, uh, or near the end of the friendship, she dumped me as a friend, and doesn't want- any have- want anything to do with me ever again.

And, uh, with that aside, I would to, uh, furder resu- furder resume the, uh, my revenge on the, uh, trolls, because everybody knows what they have done against me. My [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my, uh, [[The Chaotic Combo|friends]], and the few I have around here, and uh, my con-my congregation at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|the church]], they're all- they all back me up on this, including my- including my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] whose name I will not be re- be revealing at this time...yeah.

And, uh, also, uh, just an additional note to, uh, [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] over there. Uh, in-uh, if he wants to, uh, keep me updated, uh, more quickly, instead of, uh, recording new videos, he may con- he may still contact me at my AOL address, of which, uh, him, as well as the majority of other [[Trolls|trolls]] are aware of. So they may respond to me through [[Emails|E-mail]] as well. Asi-uh, unless they wish to do a-do the video anyway to make their public apologies and whatnot...yes.

''[Groans and smacks head]''

Dang it, [[Autism|I'm losin' my- I'm losing my serious here, lost it there]]. But I am very serious on, uh, getting what-getting justice, what has-what ha-what I've been waiting for for the past four years. Anyway, with that, uh, I would also like to mention that I regularly, rarely do not check my [[Voicemail|voicemails]]. Pretty much, I, uh, check them when they exceed ten or so. Because I am st-I am still paranoid of people [[Prank calls|abusing me]] over da phone lines...yeah.

So, I just leave y'all with that for...this. Have a good day.
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out#Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

Take that Page DOWN NOW!

2011-08-11T03:48:35Z

DeliciousBabies: /* Transcript */

'''Take that Page DOWN NOW!''' is a [[YouTube]] video posted by [[Chris]] on 30 [[March 2009]], in which he demands that his [[ED]] page be taken down. Later, Chris takes the video down, and updates a longer version, with added footage of him growling at the camera and making threats to [[Clyde Cash]].
==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Take that Page DOWN NOW!
| image = {{#ev:youtube|X02mQycxqSw}}
| Stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats|Violence]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:rage.png]] [[Chris and anger|Rage]]
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde saga.png]] [[Clyde]] saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownshirtwithlogo.png]] Brown with Logo
| previous = [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora#Watch|Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]
| next = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Director.27s_Cut|Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)]]
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

Just a major up--just a small update. Well, I just wanted to, uh, ask a small favor. You know what would ''really'' inspire me to continue doing the comics? I tell you what--[''removes glasses, grows more stern'']--you take down that ED page forever. Take it down. It and al--everything about it, including the, the discussion pages. Everything. Delete it.

[''sighs''] Because you don't--because that thing has been bothering me for so ma--for that long time. And you know how the expression "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" Well, call it--this was "too many ''crooks''." Too many ''crooks''! Too many ''crooks''! And that ED page is one of those crooks. [[Chris and reality|Every page--every word on the discussion page is a crook.]]

Mmmm! It just makes me really [''tries to flex nonexistent muscles''] ''angry''! Nnngh, nngh! Nnnngh! You know how it makes me angry?

[''reaches off camera; after jump cut, picks up the [[Clown Doll]] with picture taped to it'']

This is Clyde.

[''jump cut to Chris holding doll in left hand and making fist with right'']

And ''this'' is how angry I am for every waking moment that that ED page is up. [''begins pounding the shit out of doll'']

[''reaches down to retrieve picture, rips it in half''] NNNGH!

[''looks into camera, sneering''] You want me to calm down? [[Chris and anger|YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?]] You want me to draw the comics? YOU TAKE DOWN THAT ED PAGE! [''picks up piece of picture, puts it back on doll''] Or Clyde is--BAM! [''resumes punching his clown'']

==Director's Cut==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)
| image = {{#ev:youtube|KYATxB7NXAY}}
| Stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence|text}}
| Performance Style = [[Image:rage.png]] [[Chris and anger|Rage]]
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde saga.png]] [[Clyde]] saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownshirtwithlogo.png]] Brown with Logo
| previous = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Video|Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
| next = [[Secret Weapon#Video|Secret Weapon]]
}}
</center>

{{quote|I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT...AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!}}

===Transcript===

[''jump cut, apparently later in the day; Chris is tensing is arms and either hulking up or trying to fart''] Ngh...EEENNNNRRRRGGHHHH!!!

[''picks up doll again, tries to tear its head off, fails''] EENNGH--GGH!

[''begins beating it more savagely''] NGH! NGH! [''throws it to ground, reaches down to <s>rape</s> pound on it''] NGH! NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH!

[''pops back up to give a primal growl''] ERRRNNNRGGGHH! URRRGH! RRRGH-HAAAGHH! EERGHHAAGHH!

[''gives [[Claw of Fail]] as he stares off into space, talking like the Ultimate Warrior''] '''CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME? [[Death threats|YOU ARE ''DEAAAD''!]] YOU ARE ''DEAD''!''' [''hiccups''] '''YOU ARE DEAD! AND SO IS THAT PAGE! RRARRGGH--'''[''hic'']'''--RRRGGHH!!''' [''snorts''] '''EEEEENNRRRHHH!''' [''begins smacking his fist into his palm'']

[''jump cut; Christian is speaking normally again'']

Mmm! You despi--you are so despicable, Clyde! I am going to BEAT your lights out! [''performs Claw of Fail again'']I am going to DRAG you right in front of EVERYONE if we ever meet in public! [[South Park|I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT--[''Ultimate Warrior voice'']--'''AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR!]] NNNGHHGGGHH!'''

[''throws something into his camera, obscuring it'']

{{RageQuote|'''''NNNAGGHHHH!!!'''''}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Chan's Ultimate Attack
| video = {{#ev:youtube|cwe-1Ejl5FU}}
| Stardate = 31 March 2009
| Maker = Trowelhands
| Subject =
| Video Type =
}}

==See also==
*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmTvwy7Emgs Reversed]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]]|nextlink=[[Secret Weapon]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-30]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-30]]