CWCki - User contributions [en]

Bob Chandler

2011-09-10T16:04:21Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge:

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''

{{quote|I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.|Bob<ref>[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler]]</ref>}}

{{quote|This ain't my time yet.|Bob laughing at death <ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|That fuck Bob]]
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 September [[2011]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/16th [[Cherokee]])
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert (father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]-6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) is the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tries to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he's devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris is unfazed by these attempts.

To date, Bob has conversed with numerous trolls. Thanks to his tendency to yap on, more information has become known.

Bob passed away on September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

===Service and education===

Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water [container] molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===

[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

On the other hand, Bob himself is proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he is "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob has been interested in it since he was 10, and has become very world conscious as a believer in the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the [[1930s]]. He has collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identifies as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s fictional country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===

[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]
[[File:Heart15.jpg|thumb|Computer-generated model of Bob's near-shattered heart.]]
Bob lives on social security and General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He hasn't really had people to chat with (he loves to ramble if the person shows some slight interest), so he sits around, listens to music,<ref name="PSN 37" /> and takes care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he goes to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob has had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wears an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In a recent prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he has a fluid build up in his legs which can cause heart failure. This rapid decline in health worries him. <ref>[[Prank_calls]]</ref> He attributes his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. Let's hope that Chris hasn't inherited the traits for this longevity. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

A major question in the [[troll]] community is what will happen now that Bob has died.

===What about Bob?===

[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]. Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris does not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob is the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learn something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congestive_heart_failure Congenital Heart Failure on Wikipedia]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/| /cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you." [[Image:King.jpg|thumb|"Know this, Robert. Thy demise shall be a Whopper!"]]Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." He is clearly neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

On September 6, 2011, Bob [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600/ passed away], presumably from congestive heart failure. Luckily for Chris, he did not [[Aunt Corrina|die on pancake day]].

===BobWatch™===

On 10 August, 2010 [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call]] took place between Bob and Alec Benson Leary, who posed as an employee of [[GAMe PLACe|The GAMe PLACe]]. Discussing Chris's June trespassing citation, it was discovered that Chris hadn't told his parents about the incident (surprise, surprise). Chris posted [[6 June 2010|a whiny video]] about the incident the night that it happened, which remained on his YouTube channel until he purged all of his videos on 22 November. Yeah, that's how negligent Bob is.

On 19 August, 2010 it was revealed that the elderly man with heart failure was still [[Coffee Place|eating breakfast at Burger King]] on a daily basis. The Grim Reaper is said to have been pleased by this news.

On 24 March, 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July, 2011, it was revealed that by now [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knows about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproves of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris [[Calling_Out#Response_to_ADF|mentioned in a video]] that his father is no longer getting out much because he is sickly and his feet are bloated. Foot swelling is a [http://www.cardioassoc.com/patient_pgs/conditions/congestive.asp symptom of late-stage congestive heart failure.] With his mobility limited, Bob has become a shut in, which will only compound his heart problems.

On 6 September, 2011, Bob dies, and a mournful internet is left to cut itself down in honor of the fallen lumberjack.

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob is out of contact<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> with his son [[David Alan Chandler]] and daughter [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], who both lead successful careers. For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

To continue with the music theme, Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole will celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> Cole said that he and Bob share a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hates Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knows Cole doesn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wishes Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thinks (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls have communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob has reportedly explained to him that he has taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father is ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris will run for his father's aid when he feels threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seems to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seems to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

In line with that thread of distraction and self-delusion, Bob actually believes that Chris has accomplished significant goals in his adult life.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He may eventually get past that notion, given that he continues to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob has been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Bob Chandler

2011-09-10T16:02:20Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge:

: ''"Bob" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''

{{quote|I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.|Bob<ref>[[Prank calls#Call Bobby Chandler]]</ref>}}

{{quote|This ain't my time yet.|Bob laughing at death <ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|Emily Date]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Bob Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| [[Bob Walks In|Internet Lumberjack]]
[[Cole|That fuck Bob]]
|-
| '''Born'''
| 4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]
|-
| '''Died'''
| 6 September [[2011]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White (1/16th [[Cherokee]])
|-
| '''Parents'''
| Robert (father)
|-
| '''Education'''
| Auburn University (engineering)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Military communications, engineer
|-
|}
[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his final form]]
'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (4 September [[Pre-1980#1920s|1927]]-6 September [[2011]] <ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>) is the father of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], [[Carol Chandler]] and [[David Alan Chandler]], and husband of [[Barbara Weston Chandler]]. Bob became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris [[mass debating]].<ref>[[Bob Walks In]]</ref> His nickname, "the [[Internet]] Lumberjack," comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tries to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he's devoted 29 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris is unfazed by these attempts.

To date, Bob has conversed with numerous trolls. Thanks to his tendency to yap on, more information has become known.

Bob passed away on September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|"I seen crosses burnin', fella."]]

===Service and education===

Bob was born in [[Wikipedia:Fort Worth, Texas|Fort Worth, Texas]]<ref name="Prank calls">[[Prank calls]]</ref> and raised in [[Wikipedia:Alabama|Alabama]].<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

Bob was drafted after [[Wikipedia:World War II|World War II]] and placed in [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|the Signal Corps]]. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones, and got to visit the beautiful [[CWCville|North Korea]]. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|G.I. Bill]].<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about [[music]]. He then moved onto [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn University]], a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for [[Wikipedia:Western Electric|Western Electric]] for forty years. Using skills learned in the Army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|NES]] "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by [[Wikipedia:Ralph Baer|Ralph Baer]]).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products<ref name="About" /> and a [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=PIU_AAAAEBAJ vehicle logging system]. A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed [http://www.google.com/patents/about?id=vScrAAAAEBAJ controls] that were used in plastic water [container] molding machines.<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===

[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down]]

On the other hand, Bob himself is proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he is "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob has been interested in it since he was 10, and has become very world conscious as a believer in the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the [[1930s]]. He has collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37"/> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identifies as a [[Wikipedia:Republican Party (United States)|Republican]], and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in [[Wikipedia:United States presidential election, 2008|the 2008 presidential election]].<ref name="Prank calls"/>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s fictional country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===

[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had Medieval English ancestry]]
[[File:Heart15.jpg|thumb|Computer-generated model of Bob's near-shattered heart.]]
Bob lives on social security and General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He hasn't really had people to chat with (he loves to ramble if the person shows some slight interest), so he sits around, listens to music,<ref name="PSN 37" /> and takes care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he goes to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob has had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wears an [[Wikipedia:Artificial pacemaker|artificial pacemaker]].<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> In a recent prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he has a fluid build up in his legs which can cause heart failure. This rapid decline in health worries him. <ref>[[Prank_calls]]</ref> He attributes his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. Let's hope that Chris hasn't inherited the traits for this longevity. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

A major question in the [[troll]] community is what will happen now that Bob has died.

===What about Bob?===

[[Image:Bobbetter.jpg|thumb|"Now will you PLEASE let me get back to God of War 3???"]]

On 1 [[March 2010]], Chris [[Twitter]]ed that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for congested [''sic''] [[Wikipedia:Heart failure|heart failure]]. Chris seemed confident that his father would come home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris does not seem to grasp the seriousness of heart failure in an elderly man]]. Bob is the only thing keeping [[14 Branchland Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the best.

[[Image:Bobbed.jpg|thumb|Apart from the dying heart]]

In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject. Information about his condition was hard to come by, as we only learn something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congestive_heart_failure Congenital Heart Failure on Wikipedia]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a serious matter.

Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a [[The Wallflower|girlfriend he never had]], [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|made racial slurs and death threats to a cartoon character]], and [[F Abstinance|raged against abstinence]]. But no mention of his ailing father.

A poster on [[/cwc/| /cwc/]] contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/9/9b/Bobbetter.jpg screen capture] of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you." [[Image:King.jpg|thumb|"Know this, Robert. Thy demise shall be a Whopper!"]]Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." He is clearly neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made [[Some Favored Comedians|a brief mention]] in a public video that his father was "alive and well," with no further elaboration on his condition.

On September 6, 2011, Bob [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600/ passed away], presumably from congestive heart failure. Lucky for Chris, he did not [[Aunt Corrina|die on pancake day]].

===BobWatch™===

On 10 August, 2010 [[Matthew Noble call|a phone call]] took place between Bob and Alec Benson Leary, who posed as an employee of [[GAMe PLACe|The GAMe PLACe]]. Discussing Chris's June trespassing citation, it was discovered that Chris hadn't told his parents about the incident (surprise, surprise). Chris posted [[6 June 2010|a whiny video]] about the incident the night that it happened, which remained on his YouTube channel until he purged all of his videos on 22 November. Yeah, that's how negligent Bob is.

On 19 August, 2010 it was revealed that the elderly man with heart failure was still [[Coffee Place|eating breakfast at Burger King]] on a daily basis. The Grim Reaper is said to have been pleased by this news.

On 24 March, 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer.<ref>http://youtu.be/y-GGSOyCm2k</ref>

On 20 July, 2011, it was revealed that by now [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Bob knows about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies]] and strongly disapproves of them.

On 29 August, 2011, Chris [[Calling_Out#Response_to_ADF|mentioned in a video]] that his father is no longer getting out much because he is sickly and his feet are bloated. Foot swelling is a [http://www.cardioassoc.com/patient_pgs/conditions/congestive.asp symptom of late-stage congestive heart failure.] With his mobility limited, Bob has become a shut in, which will only compound his heart problems.

On 6 September, 2011, Bob dies, and a mournful internet is left to cut itself down in respect of the fallen lumberjack.

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob is out of contact<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> with his son [[David Alan Chandler]] and daughter [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], who both lead successful careers. For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

To continue with the music theme, Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with Bob for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===
Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole will celebrate<ref name="Cole2"/> "when that fuck Bob finally drops."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> Cole said that he and Bob share a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hates Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knows Cole doesn't like him.<ref name="Raising"/>

===Chris===

{{quote|Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your [[Nintendo]]."]]

Bob wishes Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thinks (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on [[TV]], and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After several occasions where trolls have communicated with Bob personally and found him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it's become obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts. More likely he was criticizing Chris's behavior and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, which Chris fears and despises.

Bob has reportedly explained to him that he has taken care of his [[autistic]] ass for 29 years and so Chris should be more grateful. Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that his father is ''obligated'' to take care of him, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Chris will run for his father's aid when he feels threatened, as in the later parts of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seems to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|complex network of enemies spanning the entire world]], due to the [[Chris and his ego|success]] that he has earned from his very [[Chris and his ego|popular]] Sonichu franchise.<ref name="Church">[[Church audio]]</ref><ref name="Noble">[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref> In the [[Matthew Noble call]], it appears that Bob seems to share Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of [[stress]] seem "petty" in comparison.

In line with that thread of distraction and self-delusion, Bob actually believes that Chris has accomplished significant goals in his adult life.<ref name="Prank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded</ref>

He may eventually get past that notion, given that he continues to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|Vivian Gee]] and [[Jackie E-mails 7|Jackie]], Bob has been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiraling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's [[Tomgirl Pictures|escapades]] in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 26 February [[1994]]: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26 - 0:36 in the news report of Chris's [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].
* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob [[Church audio|talked]] to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].
* 15 [[August 2010]]: Bob gets a [[Matthew Noble call|call from the GAMe PLACe]] and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also appears at the end of the call.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Thehell.jpg|"The hell is this crap?"
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg|Looking at the presents, it's sometime between 1982 and 2011.
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|That isn't Chris's half-senile old grandfather at [[Christmas]] time. It's Bob. He was that age when Chris was about one.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corrina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
Image:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|Bob will haunt your dreams tonight.
Image:Bob_80th.jpg|Calm down Bob, I think you're scaring Snorlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-08-18T01:27:12Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. It was coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009 and quickly became a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris often unwittingly shits himself. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS."

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]]</ref> Ironically, Chris' desperation to prove he does not wear womens' underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[Image:Dirty_Crapped_Bed.jpg|thumb|right|What would have inevitably happened.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "That's for babies!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, but she eventually relented after Chris dropped a massive load in his sheets while asleep and left it to stew for a day or so. As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Ivy's account indicates that Chris's incontinence becomes more of a problem when he's frightened or under stress. Around the time of his visit to the doctor, thanks to what was apparently a crank call from a troll unaffiliated with the real Clyde, Chris was sincerely afraid that Clyde Cash planned to come to his home and kill him.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-08-17T22:37:33Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. It was coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009 and quickly became a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris often unwittingly shits himself. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS."

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]]</ref> The irony is that Chris' desperation to prove he does not wear womens' underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[Image:Dirty_Crapped_Bed.jpg|thumb|right|What would have inevitably happened.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "That's for babies!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, but she eventually relented after Chris dropped a massive load in his sheets while asleep and left it to stew for a day or so. As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Ivy's account indicates that Chris's incontinence becomes more of a problem when he's frightened or under stress. Around the time of his visit to the doctor, thanks to what was apparently a crank call from a troll unaffiliated with the real Clyde, Chris was sincerely afraid that Clyde Cash planned to come to his home and kill him.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-08-17T22:36:54Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. It was coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009 and quickly became a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris often unwittingly shits himself. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS."

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a July 2011 post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]]</ref> The irony is that Chris' desperation to prove he does not wear womens' underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[Image:Dirty_Crapped_Bed.jpg|thumb|right|What would have inevitably happened.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "That's for babies!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, but she eventually relented after Chris dropped a massive load in his sheets while asleep and left it to stew for a day or so. As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Ivy's account indicates that Chris's incontinence becomes more of a problem when he's frightened or under stress. Around the time of his visit to the doctor, thanks to what was apparently a crank call from a troll unaffiliated with the real Clyde, Chris was sincerely afraid that Clyde Cash planned to come to his home and kill him.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2011-08-17T22:35:42Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS */

{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants. Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. It was coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009 and quickly became a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris often unwittingly shits himself. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS."

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a July 2009 post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]]</ref> The irony is that Chris' desperation to prove he does not wear womens' underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[Image:Dirty_Crapped_Bed.jpg|thumb|right|What would have inevitably happened.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "That's for babies!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, but she eventually relented after Chris dropped a massive load in his sheets while asleep and left it to stew for a day or so. As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

Ivy's account indicates that Chris's incontinence becomes more of a problem when he's frightened or under stress. Around the time of his visit to the doctor, thanks to what was apparently a crank call from a troll unaffiliated with the real Clyde, Chris was sincerely afraid that Clyde Cash planned to come to his home and kill him.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

User talk:DeliciousWoodenBadge

2011-08-17T22:23:37Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* HeyThere */

Calling Out

2011-08-17T11:50:44Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Transcript */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of six [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-16 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
This video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information as to the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka Don). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out "Thorg, aka Jeremy, ([[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again, sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands - 31 August, 2011, or else [[jerkops|the authorities]] will intervene.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands Alec, Tito and Thorg to [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later goes into a tirade over the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, repeating the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times ad nauseam. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from the [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear, when it was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, Unknown
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube|YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and that he had a sex-change operation, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, his desire for him to be trolled is less because of what he did to Chris and more because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hkAhXi3dD70}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''sits down and sighs''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''crosses his legs''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeus, and we happen to share some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we we do accept the- we both accept the adjective of being called [[Homos|trannies]], except for him, he's uhh, he's just went through a whole, the whole gender-changing operation. Yep, chopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol' gettin' his tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].

And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into femdom, which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. I like to get smacked by [[Barb|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely foot against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would definitely not be considered any at all a woman, a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- except he would not have a uterus, and he would have no reproductive organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't.

And, uh, also my associate that gave me the information on him, he, pretty much, uh, he pretty much pointed out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown gay.

Anyway, get back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahuviya. It is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave acute descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... [[homos]]exual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody, everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. but, of course, the, uh, my demands are simple, [[lie|as they gave been recently.]] I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he has done a- all the things he has done against me. Shoot, I forgot to write 'e down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, on the phone, and uh, blackmailed me to do a few things. Yeah, I'll get those stats in and, uh, if he goes and, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, Homoooooooo! Pretty much it. We do agree on being cross-dressers. Although, I must also admit, um, I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Ehh, assuming I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera''] For this, as usual, Hmm, I'd like to get a little closer, because I don't have zooming functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''uncovers to show his arm.''] And now look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''close=up of his bare leg''] Smooth.

[''picks up the camera''] So yeah. Ahuviya, make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... Well, lemme see... [''checks his calender.''] Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me for which I list in the description a little later. Good day.

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

List of Sonichu characters

2011-08-11T21:27:57Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Black Sonichu/Blake */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of [[fail|appearance]].

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]], who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent_garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexuals]], and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokemon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into [[Rosechu]]. Continued to take care of Rosechu until [[Sonichu]] took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[China]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was Christian's long lost twin brother, and was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokemon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive [[African American]] man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:Giovanni1.jpg|thumb|Remember when Giovanni was cool?]]

The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokemon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching pokemon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots, as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Egg Pawn.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb| Dr. Bill Schwartz the Scientist]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time fanon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, Moon-Pals. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

===Black Sonichu/Blake===
{{main|Black Sonichu}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic [[rape]] at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|trannie]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, he is one of the few characters even Chris will admit is a rip-off. (Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to [[Collosal Chan|GodMode!Chris]] as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]). Sadly, though, he blames Robotnik for it.

Much like the original Metal Sonic, he is a combat robot built in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of matching and exceeding his [[power]], although this was not seen during his initial appearance. What is evident, however, is that he had some capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have, such as dual laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into his forearms, rapid dashes using the booster engine in his body, and a lightweight, yet strong armor which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] he is launched into space and crashes into the fucking [[Moon]]; however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about him and he will never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about him in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], and that he would become a vessel for the recently-returned [[Count Graduon]] and become the new villain, since he had already removed every other villain from the comic entirely, and [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]].
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|The [[fail]] almost leaps off of the page!
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12 year old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the Zero robot and in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any rosechu. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to to not be a cackling evil bastard, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|left|For some reason, Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Homos|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his trannie rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He was supposedly destroyed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, and that he would have possessed Metal Sonichu.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to mutilate a man's genitals.]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Niggos|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica Rosechu}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout Christian and named her Angelica after her resemblance of the biblical angels. Despite this, Angelica still grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She eventually evolved one night in her sleep. Christian also [[Chris and writing|SOMEHOW]] knew who she was and that she had evolved, and showed up at her window to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up. That's not creepy or anything.

She later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. After reading him the last rites of course. [[Chris and religion|Because you know, she's religious]]. She also said 'May God have mercy' whilst doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one. Punchy is not even a recolor. He is an exact duplicate of Knuckles the Echidna, who was already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the Dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof and probably killed her. This is where his name came from. The dojo owner, [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], then took it upon himself to train the infant murderer, and teach him how to properly use martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokemon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan Sonichu}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris [[Recycling|recycled]] the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokemon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to and end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the [[lie|two characters are not related]].<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the Dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.JPG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokemon team. It can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokemon, yet he readily uses Pokemon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]]. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what was the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
=== Crystal Weston Chandler ===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (character)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu - Crystalina Rosechu - through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought.

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}

{{Incomplete}}

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. She quickly leaves the series after her real life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the rosechus, she loses this personality as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who only complains about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the South Park character Chef.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. As her twilight years prepared to come to an end, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. When Chris is cast into the Time Void, Allison takes over until his complete return. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. She's awakened and turns out to be the same as all the other vapid Rosechus in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally turned into stone and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodreiguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-Head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] pants ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage. They are busy trolling people get getting drunk off their ass. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, kill about 100 of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of Obama's opponents in the spot for Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears, joining the other Rosechus in wanting to strip for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb laws". She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===

News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susternen. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokemon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]].

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class, and killed off at the end of the episode.

===George Philip===

A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's animal companion (though she looks NOTHING like a Flaaffy). She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials). She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Doesn't last too long as she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Niggos|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil. She is rejected by Reginald, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after she reveals that she had died... and instead of mourning, they get right back into their studies.

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at [[Clyde Cash]]

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - Chris's gay ass car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]]. <ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex.

==[[Sonichu 10| ''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Niggos|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and humiliated by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A set of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris portrayed them as being raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}

The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokemon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokemon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out.''

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of [[wikipedia:Lewis Black|Lewis Black]], a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a Bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the Law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's Mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs which are ring bearers

*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear Solid | Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of Raptor Chefs.
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*[[My Little Pony]]
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===CChanSonichuCWC===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no real reason. Ian responds by disarming him then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father_Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

List of Sonichu characters

2011-08-11T21:27:19Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of [[fail|appearance]].

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]], who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent_garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexuals]], and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokemon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into [[Rosechu]]. Continued to take care of Rosechu until [[Sonichu]] took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[China]], and suggesting Kel have sex with him herself. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was Christian's long lost twin brother, and was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokemon}}

An electric type Pokémon and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of Black Sonichu.

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive [[African American]] man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of good!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:Giovanni1.jpg|thumb|Remember when Giovanni was cool?]]

The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokemon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a retard, as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching pokemon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots, as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. Despite having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Egg Pawn.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb| Dr. Bill Schwartz the Scientist]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

It was for quite some time fanon, that Bill was getting high somewhere on [[the Moon]] together with Chris's other forgotten Sonichu characters, such as the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, Moon-Pals. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

===Black Sonichu/Blake===
{{main|Black Sonichu}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic rape at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|trannie]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, he is one of the few characters even Chris will admit is a rip-off. (Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to [[Collosal Chan|GodMode!Chris]] as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]). Sadly, though, he blames Robotnik for it.

Much like the original Metal Sonic, he is a combat robot built in the image of Sonichu, with the intention of matching and exceeding his [[power]], although this was not seen during his initial appearance. What is evident, however, is that he had some capabilities which the original Sonichu did not have, such as dual laser/lightning cannon-like weapons built into his forearms, rapid dashes using the booster engine in his body, and a lightweight, yet strong armor which was capable of resisting several attacks from both Sonic and Sonichu. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] he is launched into space and crashes into the fucking [[Moon]]; however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about him and he will never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about him in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], and that he would become a vessel for the recently-returned [[Count Graduon]] and become the new villain, since he had already removed every other villain from the comic entirely, and [[Chris and writing|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]].
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|The [[fail]] almost leaps off of the page!
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12 year old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the Zero robot and in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any rosechu. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to to not be a cackling evil bastard, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more, though, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|left|For some reason, Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Homos|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his trannie rape weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He was supposedly destroyed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, and that he would have possessed Metal Sonichu.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with Mary Lee Walsh. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to mutilate a man's genitals.]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spider-Man. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Niggos|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica Rosechu}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a Catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout Christian and named her Angelica after her resemblance of the biblical angels. Despite this, Angelica still grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She eventually evolved one night in her sleep. Christian also [[Chris and writing|SOMEHOW]] knew who she was and that she had evolved, and showed up at her window to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up. That's not creepy or anything.

She later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. After reading him the last rites of course. [[Chris and religion|Because you know, she's religious]]. She also said 'May God have mercy' whilst doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one. Punchy is not even a recolor. He is an exact duplicate of Knuckles the Echidna, who was already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the Dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof and probably killed her. This is where his name came from. The dojo owner, [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], then took it upon himself to train the infant murderer, and teach him how to properly use martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokemon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan Sonichu}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris [[Recycling|recycled]] the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a failure to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokemon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to and end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised Bubbles, and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the [[lie|two characters are not related]].<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the Dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.JPG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris's idiocy.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers.

Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this though, much like all of the other sideplots [[Chris and his Ego|not involving him]], it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokemon team. It can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokemon, yet he readily uses Pokemon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]]. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, Darkbind Sonichu arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after B-Manajerk and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the Manajerks at the Mal-Wart region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the Manajerks to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what was the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
=== Crystal Weston Chandler ===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (character)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu - Crystalina Rosechu - through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought.

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}

{{Incomplete}}

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. She quickly leaves the series after her real life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the rosechus, she loses this personality as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who only complains about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the South Park character Chef.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. As her twilight years prepared to come to an end, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. When Chris is cast into the Time Void, Allison takes over until his complete return. In ''Sonichu'' #10, she kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. She's awakened and turns out to be the same as all the other vapid Rosechus in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally turned into stone and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodreiguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-Head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] pants ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage. They are busy trolling people get getting drunk off their ass. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, kill about 100 of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of Obama's opponents in the spot for Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House.

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears, joining the other Rosechus in wanting to strip for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb laws". She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===

News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News", obviously a parody of Fox News anchor Greta Van Susternen. Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokemon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]].

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class, and killed off at the end of the episode.

===George Philip===

A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's animal companion (though she looks NOTHING like a Flaaffy). She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials). She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Doesn't last too long as she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's Mary Sue character that fills in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Niggos|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil. She is rejected by Reginald, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after she reveals that she had died... and instead of mourning, they get right back into their studies.

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at [[Clyde Cash]]

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - Chris's gay ass car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]]. <ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic spawn of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex.

==[[Sonichu 10| ''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend Sonichu.]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Niggos|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the four are condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in ''[[Sonichu Special 1]]'', capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and humiliated by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A set of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris portrayed them as being raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}

The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokemon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokemon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out.''

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of [[wikipedia:Lewis Black|Lewis Black]], a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a Bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the Law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's Mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs which are ring bearers

*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear Solid | Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of Raptor Chefs.
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*[[My Little Pony]]
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===CChanSonichuCWC===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no real reason. Ian responds by disarming him then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father_Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

Count Graduon

2011-08-11T21:25:34Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* In the comic */

[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The [[Semen|true form]] of Count Graduon]]

'''Count Graduon''' is the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the the title of a low-ranking nobleman in European society.

Graduon's name derives from [[Christian]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being forced from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that the man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (and [[Reldnahc]]) is inspired by ''"basic evil wizards, and evil twins from various tv shows, movies and [[anime]] and book stories."''<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the evil purple [[duck]]]]

According to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian of this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to [[the Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and Writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses [[Metal Sonichu]] preparing to bring back to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh — er, Slaweel Ryam — due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor either free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but when Sonichu saves her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam in order that she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being, allowing Chris to focus on a new set of villains. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

If [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] is ever finished, Chris claims that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

==Appearance==

Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] inside a lollipop-like sceptre, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple crystal on top of it. This may be [[ripped off|inspired]] by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a vulture on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a faggy cape of some sort.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg| Try it, it might make good reading.
Image: Count_Graduon_seriously.png‎| O RLY? Last time we checked, he was nice compared to [[Chris]].
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}

*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana Rosechu]]
*[[The Moon]]

Count Graduon

2011-08-11T21:23:11Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge: /* External links */

[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The [[Semen|true form]] of Count Graduon]]

'''Count Graduon''' is the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the the title of a low-ranking nobleman in European society.

Graduon's name derives from [[Christian]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being forced from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that the man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (and [[Reldnahc]]) is inspired by ''"basic evil wizards, and evil twins from various tv shows, movies and [[anime]] and book stories."''<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the evil purple [[duck]]]]

According to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian of this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the Moon, breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and Writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses [[Metal Sonichu]] preparing to bring back to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh — er, Slaweel Ryam — due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor either free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but when Sonichu saves her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam in order that she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being, allowing Chris to focus on a new set of villains. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

If [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] is ever finished, Chris claims that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

==Appearance==

Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] inside a lollipop-like sceptre, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple crystal on top of it. This may be [[ripped off|inspired]] by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a vulture on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a faggy cape of some sort.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg| Try it, it might make good reading.
Image: Count_Graduon_seriously.png‎| O RLY? Last time we checked, he was nice compared to [[Chris]].
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
</gallery></center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}

*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana Rosechu]]
*[[The Moon]]

Count Graduon

2011-02-03T18:40:33Z

DeliciousWoodenBadge:

[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The [[Semen|true form]] of Count Graduon]]

'''Count Graduon''' is the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the the title of a low-ranking nobleman in European society.

Graduon's name derives from [[Christian]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being forced from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that the man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Recently, Count Graduon has appeared on his own youtube channel [[http://www.youtube.com/user/ItsCountGraduon]], issuing commands to his undoubtedly vast troll army and reveling in his victory in driving Chris from the Internet. It goes without saying, the longer Chris stays in his self-imposed exile, the more powerful Graduon will become.

==In the comic==

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the evil purple [[duck]]]]

According to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to the moon and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian of this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the moon, breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and Writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses [[Metal Sonichu]] preparing to bring back to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh — er, Slaweel Ryam — due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor either free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but when Sonichu saves her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam in order that she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being, allowing Chris to focus on a new set of villains. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire. However, since being confirmed by Chris, he looks certain to return, if [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] is ever finished.

==Appearance==

Count Graduon is shown mostly as an energy-composed being inside a lollipop-like Sceptre, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple crystal on top of it, although issue #9 shows him as what is either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Grey]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Wikipedia:Lord Voldemort|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a faggy cape of some sort.

In [[ModNation Racers]] however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble Tabuu from [[Nintendo|Super Smash Bros Brawl]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be another of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of the negative feelings towards his graduation.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg| Try it, it might make good reading.
Image: Count_Graduon_seriously.png‎| ORLY? Last time we checked, he was nice compared to [[Chris]].
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg| Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
</gallery></center>

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}

*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana Rosechu]]
*[[The Moon]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Villains]]