CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero

2014-12-23T02:29:53Z

Demaster: /* Highlights */

{{Quote|I've recently made my own music video of "Holding Out For a Hero sang by Bonnie Tyler, It's dedicated to my current [[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]]. What does everyone think about it([[Chris and reality|I believe it turned out pretty great]] [[Chris and his Ego|if I do say so myself]])|Chris, modest as ever.<ref>[[Adult Swim posts]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.|[[Ivy]]<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}

On 26 [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] released a [[Chris and music|music]] video for [[Ivy]], his then [[sweetheart]], known as '''CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero'''.

Chris would later reupload this video to his [[IBAChandler]] [[YouTube]] account on 29 [[July 2009]], despite his relationship with Ivy ending months earlier.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero
| video = {{#ev:youtube|D7XrVgM5E6Y}}
| stardate = 26 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{JerkopShirt|text}} {{PokeShirt|text}}, alongside others.
| previous = [[CWC%27s_Message_for_Ivy#Video|CWC's Message for Ivy]]
| next = [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009#Video|CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]
}}
{{quote|I dedicate this Music Video to Ivy. :)
[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Also, in addition to if anyone messes up this relationship, if anyone messes with Ivy, Period]], I Swear to [[God and Jesus]] that I will cease drawing my comics and efforts to recovering the Sonichu Site. As long as y'all just Back Off, everyone's cool. 
Have a good day. 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==Highlights==

[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|right|"Add 8 to his attack if his target is MALE"]]

In chronological order:

*'''0:01-0:10''' - Make note of how he [[Chris and art|holds the pen]] in the first moments of the video.
*'''0:10-0:35''' - The part of the amazing intro where he plays his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] with a look of dejection. Notably: There is no guitar track in the song.
*'''0:57-1:00''' - Chris turns.
*'''1:39-1:43''' - Chris says "Sonichu, cut the powers and release the prisoners!".
*'''1:44-1:47''' - "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|SHIN-YE-HA-ME-HA]]"!
*'''1:51-1:55''' - "ELECTRIC-HEDGEHOG POWER"!
*'''2:31-2:33''' - A very accurate depiction of a Jet-Pack.
*'''2:41-3:05''' - Chris doing a "guitar solo" on his ''Guitar Hero'' guitar, despite the fact that this song doesn't have a guitar solo. Often considered the highlight of the video. Note how the guitar strap is put on.
*'''3:29-3:31''' - "FIRE IN MY BLOOD"
*'''3:57-4:03''' - A weird [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|NOISE]].
*'''4:04-4:08''' - Chris invents a new sex move.
*'''4:53-5:00''' - Holy shit.
*'''5:00-5:52''' - Chris [[recycling|recycles]] scenes.
*'''Overall''' - The fact that Chris doesn't realize how [[homos|gay]] this song makes him look like.
*'''Overall''' - Chris drawing himself more slender when he IRL is becoming fatter.

=== Transcript ===
''From '''4:40-5:10''' Chris sings and says:''

She's gotta be strong, she's gotta be pure and she's got to be [[Women's rights|fresh from the shop]]. I need a heroiiine, aaaah. I'm holding out for my hero til' the morning Hliiight. She's gotta be [[love Quest|true]], she's gotta be pretty and she's got to be the sweetest thing in liiiiffe, and her name be [[Ivy|Ivvyyyyy]]. Dedicated to her. I love you, Ivy.

==See also==
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]

{{References}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's Message for Ivy]]|nextlink=[[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-26]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-26]]

CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero

2014-12-23T02:25:55Z

Demaster: /* Highlights */

{{Quote|I've recently made my own music video of "Holding Out For a Hero sang by Bonnie Tyler, It's dedicated to my current [[sweetheart]] [[Ivy]]. What does everyone think about it([[Chris and reality|I believe it turned out pretty great]] [[Chris and his Ego|if I do say so myself]])|Chris, modest as ever.<ref>[[Adult Swim posts]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.|[[Ivy]]<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}

On 26 [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] released a [[Chris and music|music]] video for [[Ivy]], his then [[sweetheart]], known as '''CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero'''.

Chris would later reupload this video to his [[IBAChandler]] [[YouTube]] account on 29 [[July 2009]], despite his relationship with Ivy ending months earlier.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero
| video = {{#ev:youtube|D7XrVgM5E6Y}}
| stardate = 26 [[March 2009]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Ivy|text}}
| shirt = {{JerkopShirt|text}} {{PokeShirt|text}}, alongside others.
| previous = [[CWC%27s_Message_for_Ivy#Video|CWC's Message for Ivy]]
| next = [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009#Video|CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]
}}
{{quote|I dedicate this Music Video to Ivy. :)
[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Also, in addition to if anyone messes up this relationship, if anyone messes with Ivy, Period]], I Swear to [[God and Jesus]] that I will cease drawing my comics and efforts to recovering the Sonichu Site. As long as y'all just Back Off, everyone's cool. 
Have a good day. 
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

==Highlights==

[[Image:CWCEOJ.jpg|thumb|right|"Add 8 to his attack if his target is MALE"]]

In chronological order:

*'''0:01-0:10''' - Make note of how he [[Chris and art|holds the pen]] in the first moments of the video.
*'''0:10-0:35''' - The part of the amazing intro where he plays his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] with a look of dejection. Notably: There is no guitar track in the song.
*'''0:57-1:00''' - Chris turns.
*'''1:39-1:43''' - Chris says "Sonichu, cut the powers and release the prisoners!".
*'''1:44-1:47''' - "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|SHIN-YE-HA-ME-HA]]"!
*'''1:51-1:55''' - "ELECTRIC-HEDGEHOG POWER"!
*'''2:31-2:33''' - A very accurate depiction of a Jet-Pack.
*'''2:41-3:05''' - Chris doing a "guitar solo" on his ''Guitar Hero'' guitar, despite the fact that this song doesn't have a guitar solo. Often considered the highlight of the video. Note how the guitar strap is put on.
*'''3:29-3:31''' - "FIRE IN MY BLOOD"
*'''3:57-4:03''' - A weird [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|NOISE]].
*'''4:04-4:08''' - Chris invents a new sex move.
*'''4:53-5:00''' - Holy shit.
*'''5:00-5:52''' - Chris [[recycles|recycling]] scenes.
*'''Overall''' - The fact that Chris doesn't realize how [[homos|gay]] this song makes him look like.
*'''Overall''' - Chris drawing himself more slender when he IRL is becoming fatter.

=== Transcript ===
''From '''4:40-5:10''' Chris sings and says:''

She's gotta be strong, she's gotta be pure and she's got to be [[Women's rights|fresh from the shop]]. I need a heroiiine, aaaah. I'm holding out for my hero til' the morning Hliiight. She's gotta be [[love Quest|true]], she's gotta be pretty and she's got to be the sweetest thing in liiiiffe, and her name be [[Ivy|Ivvyyyyy]]. Dedicated to her. I love you, Ivy.

==See also==
*[[Chris Sings Lovin' You]]

{{References}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC's Message for Ivy]]|nextlink=[[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009]]|}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-26]]
[[Category:Ivy Saga videos| 2009-03-26]]

Song of Christian

2014-11-26T00:12:51Z

Demaster: /* Factual error */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[United States of America|America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. Chris bases his poem partly on [[Homos|Walt Whitman]]'s [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]].

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and cinematography|use proper lighting]] — video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days — and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' commercial]] is up for debate.

The quality of the video and the lack of color would suggest that this was filmed on a late-1980's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvmK0y3H4-A Fisher Price PXL-2000] camcorder, or a cheap knockoff, probably sourced from Goodwill.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and...[[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part I==

{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|"Song of Christian" ~ Part II]]
}}

<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''Simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival.''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to ''The Christian Chandler Show''! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to ''The Christian Chandler Show''. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line— an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so...please don't laugh. I feel— I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called— entitled— "The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and...D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little [[Sonee & Rosey|'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'.]] [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the [[Wikipedia:Best Products|Best Products]] store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "Lego Land" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.

[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine.]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on ''Mario Raceway''". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was ''Mario Kart 64''. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, ''Mario Raceway'' Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]...on the ''insides'', like a regular ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the ''Zelda'' contest. Ya know, test the ''Zelda 64'' game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about ''[[Sonic]]'' on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
It is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at six weeks old. Any [[chris and health|doctor]] will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any [[chris and psychology|psychologist]] will tell you that their [[wikipedia:Broca's Area|Broca's Area]] is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part II==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|"Song of Christian" ~ Part I]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh...this may even be a rumor, so you— my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm jus' still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh...shows how Sonic's friends help him...climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic...and Bionic...breaking a lot— destroying a lot— breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, ''Sonic'' on Game Boy originally was ''Sonic and Knuckles'', but I decided to do something different in this magazine. ''Sonic and Knuckles '''II'''''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!"

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade ''Nintendo Power'' together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up.'']

Yeah...and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file...selector, and another water zone, Knuckles— playing as Knuckles, and a...special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page.'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. ''SUPER Sonic''. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all— with some of the ''Sonic'' games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some...coverage on the...Sonic, uh...with the...how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got ''Sonic I'' picture there, and ''Sonic 3''.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh...coverage on the games. I got ''Sonic I'', ''Sonic II'', ''Sonic III'', and ''Sonic and Knuckles'' in there... yeah, the original ''Sonic and Knuckles'' I'm talking about, not ''Sonic and Knuckles II''.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh...sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it ''BEAST WARS''...''[[Transformers]]''. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it...goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh...Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron...Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh...before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh...other ''Nintendo Power'' cover, which I made of...uh...you heard of ''Megaman XTC'' Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. ''Megaman XTC '''IV'''''. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh...about some of the stuff about him in the...Sigma's return...Zero being captured, and...it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The— from the original first— the first ''Megaman X'' game...except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') Oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three ''Megaman X'' games and a couple of the classic ''Megaman'' games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not ''Megaman X'' without the old... classic ''Megaman X'' boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic— parts of ''Sonic I'' and ''Sonic II'', and I just did ''Mario Kart 64''. And for ''Nintendo Power''...I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because— lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh...chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of ''Super Sonic''....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV— AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU MADE IT BURN, I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been ''The Christian Chandler Show'', and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land...goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==See also==
* [[Greene County Conspiracy]] - 12 YEARS LATER, Chris still sits in the dark and complains about people hating him for being Autistic

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1998-05-15]]

Love Quest

2014-11-25T17:23:52Z

Demaster: /* Conflicts with Manajerks */

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}
{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}
[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[File:Tumblr lg8dq2DmiR1qbc13do1 500.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression of Chris on his Love Quest.]]
The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. He has [[Facebook|claimed]] to have enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity. However, as with other [[Honor roll|achievements Chris claims to possess]], it is still the subject of debate.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to [[JERKS|any Man other than myself]], because they all have [[infinitely high boyfriend factor|taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none]].” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_does_not_regret_the_Meganporn_and_claims_drawing_it_helped_prevent_him_raping_her]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Side Quest Completed==

On 12 April 2012, the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

Given the short time it took for them to meet and do the nasty (in ''her'' room, no less), her comparing him to her last partner and [[Lie|telling him what he wants to hear]] about his [[Duck|dick]], and the extremely telling fact that Chris does not consider her a sweetheart (saying his 'sweetheart-to-be' will find out about this), it seems rather plausible. In retrospect, it makes a [[Hooker_incident|certain statement]] he made to a certain [[Clyde Cash|troll]] all the more hilarious, where he states that him getting a hooker would not be the ideal way for his "Love Quest" to end.

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2014-11-23T19:47:11Z

Demaster: /* Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in Time for a Ball */

__NOTOC__
A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how disproportionate the response. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights and resource allocation that unsurprisingly fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to have immunity from the law.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]] is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee".
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. Swell.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* We have no idea what happened to [[Mypoe]]. As far as anyone knows Punchy straight-up murdered the girl with no reprisal!
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for no good reason. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know said reason]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a [[Flame the Sunbird|hapless parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown.
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad you'll never see them again; Chris thinks that having nine different ways to blast someone with an energy wave is more valuable than bringing someone back from the brink of death. So every time Chris gets put in a bind from here on out is because of his extreme idiocy in just forgetting about his best superpower.
===Episode #13: ''Shattered Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the obnoxious assumption that [[Third date|women always putout after the 3rd date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading unpleasant pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis, you see.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are dumb.

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names. This doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who DigDugette416 could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] neglects to call the national guard or at least inform the media of what's going on. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show little concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their fair city]]. The thousands of citizens whom now need comforting and disaster relief [[autism|can be safely ignored]]... because the kids want to watch [[Mary Poppins]]! Okay, cue the laugh track, freeze frame, and roll the credits!

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of pure, unquenchable evil the protagonists perpetuate in this comic clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|biological warfare]], this issue has it all!
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating ethnic cleansing against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris rapes his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that nothing escapes as he does so.
* Chris (By now, you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris.) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum security prison with no trial.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (She refused a previous offer.) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and the gang, including a week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in humiliating and inhumane ways as part of what can only be called a crime against humanity. But remember, it's a kid's comic!
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly supressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)

2014-11-22T21:11:04Z

Demaster: /* In the comic */ that was a completely pointless link

:''This article is about Chris's imaginary twin sister. For Chris's imaginary future daughter, see [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]].''
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Crystal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Crystal Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Date of creation'''
| 22 June [[Sonichu chronology#2005|2005]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Species'''
| Human
|-
| '''Transforms into'''
| Crystalina Rosechu
|-
|}

'''Crystal Weston Chandler''' is the fictional twin sister of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. Her role in his fantasy world stems from his long-held desire to have a sibling to play with<ref>Mentioned in his [[Song of Christian]] video: "hoping" for a "lil brother."</ref> along with some narcissistic pleasure or even [[Tomgirl Pictures|gender identity issue]] with seeing himself as an attractive female. Crystal represents one of the more embarrassing facets of Chris's mind. Since his notions of the perfect girlfriend, the perfect sister, and the perfect daughter so easily intersect, it is hard ''not'' to arrive at a conclusion involving [[incest]].

[[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|thumb|left|Notice how the "girlfriend" in this pic looks like a crude version of Crystal, even down to the shirt. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris.]]

He appears to have first created the character in 2004 as "Crystal the Female Twin" for his set of custom ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, although another of those cards depicts Crystal as "Girlfriend's Gift". In fiction, Crystal wears a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] correlating to Chris's [[Sonichu]] medallion and [[Reldnahc]]'s [[Black Sonichu]] medallion; this is inconsistent (or is it?) with Chris's usual theme of Sonichu, Rosechu, and Blake representing the hero, lover, and villain. In real life, Chris created the Rosechu medallion for his future girlfriend, which raises the question of how he expected to adapt this into the comics when his sister was running around wearing the same bauble as his fiancée.
[[File:Crys.PNG|thumb|Note the careful attention he paid to drawing his sister's boobs.]]
Crystal's origin is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 5]], where she is made manifest by Chris employing his [[anchuent powers]] and [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to split into two ([[pickle|nearly]]) identical beings. Chris and Crystal wear the same [[Chris and fashion|outfits]] and even have the same super powers, although she lacks her brother's [[heterochromia]]. Throughout her appearances in the comics, characters are constantly noting how attractive she (and, by extension, Chris) is.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, a charge which infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck--and, as this article demonstrates, would've arisen anyway. Nonetheless, Megan stopped being friends with him because of the whole business, so Chris lost on both counts.

The theme of incestuous narcissism is also prevalent in literature of the Romantic period, particularly that of Lord Byron, who apparently acted on Chris's fantasy. The theory is that the man in question is so much [[Chris and his ego|in love with himself]] that the only other person he could ever truly love is his double. Furthermore, with the Romantic emphasis on sympathy through [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|shared experience]], great nostalgia for [[Chris's room|childhood]], and desire to be "[[Love Quest|understood]]" (though complete disinterest in [[Vivian_Gee_E-mails|understanding]]) make a sibling an ideal sexual partner for the narcissist. Most of the Romantics saw the problem with this, and contented themselves with [[Sarah Hammer|childhood friends]], but then, Chris was never as smart as Wordsworth.

A possible early appearance is in the [[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]] ([[1998]]) where Christian's kart passes something labelled "'''CRYSTLE'''" (the video quality is too low to see anything) and Chris shouts "Hi!" at it/her.
{{-}}

==In the comic==
[[Image:Crystalina_Rosechu.jpg|right|thumb|Crystal's anthropomorphic form, Crystalina Rosechu. Also the only Sailor Soldier to wear sneakers.]]

Crystal was first introduced in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], [[Sub-Episode 4]], where she appeared to aid Chris during a battle with the [[W-M-Manajerk]] in the [[Mal-Wart]] Region. Beaten and nearly subdued, Chris had a vision of his Cherokian ancestor. He revealed to Chris that his [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] is able to summon his "dream sibling". Crystal has also helped Chris battle [[Bagget]] and the [[Transformers|Change-Bot]] Crackder in the [[Get-Tar Region]], as well as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] at the [[PVCC]].

Crystal was trapped in the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] by Mary Lee Walsh and [[Count Graduon]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]. In an attempt to save Chris and [[Sailor Megtune]] from falling victim to the Mirror, she pushed them both out of the way, becoming captive in the Mirror herself. After her capture, a few token mentions have been made of her plight - at one point, it was said that gathering the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] would allow Crystal to escape the mirror - but for the most part she was largely forgotten, especially while Christian himself was stuck in the practically identical [[Time Void]].

Since Chris is ejecting everyone he created from his [[sweetheart search]] misadventures, the final fate of Crystal Weston Chandler seemed quite grim. Then, partway through [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris suddenly turned into [[Collosal Chan]] and rescued her by simply [[Sonichu Special 4|walking in]], [[I AM STRONG|scooping her up]] in his arms and walking out of the mirror in the most [[Chris and writing|anti-climactic way]]. Chris originally planned that he would hand over mayoral power to his sister at the end of this issue, but for [[Chris and his Ego|some reason]] decided not to.<ref>[[Miyamoto_Saga#From_Chris_to_Miyamoto]]</ref>

Being Chris's twin, Crystal's powers are very similar to his. She can transform into a Rosechu called Crystalina Rosechu. When she and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] join together, they are able to form Chris-Chan Pure and execute a powerful ultimate attack known as [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]].

Personality-wise, Crystal is a bland, stereotypical girl, who [[Women's rights|overindulges in girly stuff]] such as shopping and perfume. Her fashion sense is similar to her twin brother; she wears the same striped shirts and has a Rosechu medallion. Crystal has an odd quirk where she constantly refers to Chris as "Christopher" instead of "Christian".
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg
Image:CrystalSquirtle.png|Crystal joins the Moon-Pals.
File:Collosalcrystalina.png|Crystal+Sonichu balls or something.
File:Crystal 001.jpg|Chris's most prominent thoughts on this matter.
Image:CrystalHawt.jpg|Artist's depiction.
</gallery></center>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu76_wphCp8 CWC Sketch- Crystal]

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Crystal Weston}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

User:Demaster

2014-11-20T22:43:40Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Hindu}}

{{Agnostic}}

{{Ham}}

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

User:Demaster

2014-11-16T14:30:39Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Hindu}}

{{Agnostic}}

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

User:Demaster

2014-11-02T17:51:11Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Hindu}}

{{Agnostic}}

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

User:Demaster

2014-11-02T17:30:45Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Agnostic}}

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

User:Demaster

2014-11-02T17:26:44Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Hindu}}

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

Halloween

2014-11-02T17:21:43Z

Demaster: /* 2014 */

'''Halloween''' is an annual holiday, falling on October 31. [[Chris and health#Nutrition|It has often had significance for Chris]]. He may not have a high opinion of it as bad stuff tends to happen to him around this time, as documented below.

==Historic Halloweens==
===1998 or 1999===
[[Barb]] makes Chris's [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] [[cosplay|costume]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>
===2007===
Halloween 2007 coincided with the emergence of Chris-chan on the [[Internet]]: he appeared in a SomethingAwful thread on 26 October, got an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page on 3 November (not Halloween itself, as Chris has claimed) and 4chan fanart existed the next day.

===2008===
[[File:EDSign.jpg|thumb|300px|At least it wasn't a burning bag of shit.]]
Chris had hoped to go with [[Blanca]] to a "local Halloween party",<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref> but unfortunately she stole his medallions and outed herself as a [[troll]] before he could. He said that he had no plans for Halloween<ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref>, and so a crack squadron of trolls infiltrated the grounds of [[14 Branchland Court]] that Halloween night, leaving a sign reading "[[ED|ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]] ♥ [[Jimmy Hill|JIMMY HILL]]" on the front lawn. Chris went apeshit, and a year later [[Sign Destruction Video|tore up the sign on YouTube]] while making [[death threat]]s against [[Vivian Gee]], [[Clyde Cash]] and their families.

Chris later claimed that [[Mimms]] and [[Megan]] were the ones who left the sign. This is unconfirmed and unlikely, especially as Megan has never shown any sign of engaging with trolls.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>

===2009===
Chris planned on going to a party at a counseling center, most likely at [[Rocky]]'s suggestion. A loyal [[Nintendo]] fanboy, Chris was going to dress up as beloved corporate shill [[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|Captain N]], but was too lazy to get a decent costume and instead planned on wearing his ancient Ash getup.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref> He never mentioned it again, so it's not known if he actually went or not, but as he uploaded three videos that day ([[Getting Foam Ed]] for Clyde Cash, and [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]] and [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks]]) he probably stayed at home.

===2010===
[[Jackie]] asked Chris to join "Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest" — he had to upload a video for [[YouTube]] every day in October, mentioning [[Honest Content|a secret]] in each that he'd never told anybody, and, in return, Jackie would fuck him on 1 [[November 2010|November]]. However, Chris failed to keep to schedule, provoking Jackie's ire and removing any chance of [[china]] Chris had.
===2011===
[[File:HNI 0020.JPG|thumb|TRICK OR TREAT, JEW!]]
Chris spent Halloween in ''jail'' after his [[28 October 2011|28 October attack]] on [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Barb appeared in court on Halloween to be formally charged with failing to stop after an accident, and with felony assault on a [[jerkop]].
===2012===
Chris did nothing for Halloween this year; however, ten days prior he wrote: ''I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "[[Lulz|laughs]]" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by [[Jesus]], our lord, and is the way of our almighty [[God]]. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.''
===2013===
Halloween 2013 was a true dark night of the soul for Christian. On the 30th, he received traumatic news that his [[Manchester High School]] [[gal-pals]] were neither true nor honest: "I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me." This realization (only 13 years too late) that his friends were playing [[Kick the Autistic|Pity the Autistic]] and didn't really like him had the opportunity to crush Chris's one really happy memory. On Halloween itself, he posted to [[Molly Quarles]], asking if she too was merely being nice, and called on his old MHS to visit [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in person to apologize (for what, is unclear).<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

===2014===
Chris had spent the Halloween of 2014 patronizing the "Impulse Gay [[Chris and English|Social-Club]]" dressed as a hippie or as he put it a "70s Lesbian Chic". Chris had posted a selfie of himself in costume on facebook along with the fact he visited the above gay bar.

==See also==
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Chris's birthday|Birthday]]
*[[Bunny Hop|Easter]]
{{References}}
{{Year}}

Halloween

2014-11-02T17:13:37Z

Demaster: /* Historic Halloweens */ 2014

'''Halloween''' is an annual holiday, falling on October 31. [[Chris and health#Nutrition|It has often had significance for Chris]]. He may not have a high opinion of it as bad stuff tends to happen to him around this time, as documented below.

==Historic Halloweens==
===1998 or 1999===
[[Barb]] makes Chris's [[Pokémon|Ash Ketchum]] [[cosplay|costume]].<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>
===2007===
Halloween 2007 coincided with the emergence of Chris-chan on the [[Internet]]: he appeared in a SomethingAwful thread on 26 October, got an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page on 3 November (not Halloween itself, as Chris has claimed) and 4chan fanart existed the next day.

===2008===
[[File:EDSign.jpg|thumb|300px|At least it wasn't a burning bag of shit.]]
Chris had hoped to go with [[Blanca]] to a "local Halloween party",<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Blanca]]</ref> but unfortunately she stole his medallions and outed herself as a [[troll]] before he could. He said that he had no plans for Halloween<ref>[[IRC (24 October 2008)]]</ref>, and so a crack squadron of trolls infiltrated the grounds of [[14 Branchland Court]] that Halloween night, leaving a sign reading "[[ED|ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA]] ♥ [[Jimmy Hill|JIMMY HILL]]" on the front lawn. Chris went apeshit, and a year later [[Sign Destruction Video|tore up the sign on YouTube]] while making [[death threat]]s against [[Vivian Gee]], [[Clyde Cash]] and their families.

Chris later claimed that [[Mimms]] and [[Megan]] were the ones who left the sign. This is unconfirmed and unlikely, especially as Megan has never shown any sign of engaging with trolls.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>

===2009===
Chris planned on going to a party at a counseling center, most likely at [[Rocky]]'s suggestion. A loyal [[Nintendo]] fanboy, Chris was going to dress up as beloved corporate shill [[Wikipedia:Captain N: The Game Master|Captain N]], but was too lazy to get a decent costume and instead planned on wearing his ancient Ash getup.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref> He never mentioned it again, so it's not known if he actually went or not, but as he uploaded three videos that day ([[Getting Foam Ed]] for Clyde Cash, and [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]] and [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks]]) he probably stayed at home.

===2010===
[[Jackie]] asked Chris to join "Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest" — he had to upload a video for [[YouTube]] every day in October, mentioning [[Honest Content|a secret]] in each that he'd never told anybody, and, in return, Jackie would fuck him on 1 [[November 2010|November]]. However, Chris failed to keep to schedule, provoking Jackie's ire and removing any chance of [[china]] Chris had.
===2011===
[[File:HNI 0020.JPG|thumb|TRICK OR TREAT, JEW!]]
Chris spent Halloween in ''jail'' after his [[28 October 2011|28 October attack]] on [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Barb appeared in court on Halloween to be formally charged with failing to stop after an accident, and with felony assault on a [[jerkop]].
===2012===
Chris did nothing for Halloween this year; however, ten days prior he wrote: ''I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "[[Lulz|laughs]]" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by [[Jesus]], our lord, and is the way of our almighty [[God]]. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.''
===2013===
Halloween 2013 was a true dark night of the soul for Christian. On the 30th, he received traumatic news that his [[Manchester High School]] [[gal-pals]] were neither true nor honest: "I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me." This realization (only 13 years too late) that his friends were playing [[Kick the Autistic|Pity the Autistic]] and didn't really like him had the opportunity to crush Chris's one really happy memory. On Halloween itself, he posted to [[Molly Quarles]], asking if she too was merely being nice, and called on his old MHS to visit [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in person to apologize (for what, is unclear).<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>

===2014===
Chris had spent the Halloween of 2014 patronizing the Impulse gay social club dressed as a hippie or as he put it a "70s Lesbian Chic". Chris had posted a selfie of himself in costume on facebook along with the fact he had visited said gay bar.

==See also==
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Chris's birthday|Birthday]]
*[[Bunny Hop|Easter]]
{{References}}
{{Year}}

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys

2014-10-22T23:12:36Z

Demaster:

[[Image:074-HedgehogBoys.jpg|thumb|The Hedgehog Boys]]
{{Quote|[[Shadow]]! [[Blake|Black Sonichu]]! The [[Niggos|dark half]] can rock you! [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Rockin' in the atomic! And [[Chris and his Ego|the leader]] who put the band together Singin’ with this song! His name is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Chandler]]!|from "[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]]"}}
::''For their self-titled album, see [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]. For their theme song, see [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys Theme]].''

'''Christian & the Hedgehog Boys''' is the name [[Chris]] gave to his horrible "band" project, though, in [[reality]], there is no band. Instead the project involves Chris shouting awful lyrics about his shitty life over [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] pop/rock music.

==The boys in the band==
[[File:Hedboy.PNG|thumb|Scenes like this made the breakup of the band inevitable.]]

The gap between albums speaks volumes about the internal problems the band has faced, including drug abuse, unwanted pregnancies, regicide and general debauchery.

*[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]]: vocals
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]: bass, or perhaps guitar
*[[Sonichu]]: guitar
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]: drums
*[[Black Sonichu]] (Blake): keyboard

In the [[2009]] incarnation of the band, Sonic and Shadow were gone, replaced by [[Wild]] (on bass) and [[Punchy]] (on drums). [[Layla Flaaffy]] also joined as stage manager.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> {{clear}}

==Albums==
[[Image:057-CWCHedgeBoysv2.jpg|thumb|left|First album cover]]
[[Image:CWCHedgehogBoysCOMEBACKfront.jpg|thumb|Second album]]
To date, they have released two albums:

*'''''[[Christian & the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian & the Hedgehog Boys]]'''''

:Release date: [[2006]]

*'''''[[Christian & the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!]]'''''
:Release date: [[2009]]
{{clear}}

==Singles==
Christian & the Hedgehog Boys have released standalone singles over [[YouTube]] for "[[CWC%27s_%22It%27s_All_Coming_Back_To_Me%22|It's All Coming Back To Me]]" and "[[CWC_Music_Video_Holding_Out_For_a_Hero|Holding Out For A Hero]]" that feature unique combinations of live-action, comic drawings and shit. The lyrics of "[[Revive Zordon]]" appear in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but a musical version has yet to appear.
==Gallery==
{{clear}}
[[File:Autisticmajesties.jpg|thumb|left|[[Barack Obama|The Rolling Stones]] edition]]
[[File:128650737563.jpg|thumb|right|[[100 2269|The Beatles]] edition]]
<gallery>
Image:107-HookedOnSonichu2.jpg|One listen, and you'll be hooked!
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|Sonichu is doing it wrong
Image:447px-Artgalleryhedgehogs.jpg|As seen in ''Sonichu'' Comics!
Image:SchuComic6P14.jpg|Ad from [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]
Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|For whatever reason, Sonichu is holding a copy of the Hedgehog Boys' first album.
</gallery>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=CWC Sings}}
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]
{{References}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
[[Category: Music]]

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2014-10-21T23:09:39Z

Demaster:

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas White]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the [[Pokémon]] League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three things:
:# What Chris was like at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# If he could tell us anything about [[Megan]]
:# If he tried to play his homemade [[cards]].

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|...Anywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in her place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the level up king!" Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at [[yugi-oh]]. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. He would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a [[gay]] male who was friends with [[Megan]] at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than [[Lucas]] and [[Mike]]].}}
{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on [[/v/]] I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}
===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a [[virgin]] also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to [[the Game Place]]? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, [[ban]] took place?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}
{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at [[the Game Place]] because of the way he acts?}}
{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. [[Mike]] and I have talked about the [[reality]] [[Barb#Pampering_of_Chris|that his parents have helped him fabricate]]. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}
{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}
{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}
{{quoteboxgreen|No}}
{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}
{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}
===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a close weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}
{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[Sailor Moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames [[ED]] for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}
{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}
{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}
{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving [[trolls]] amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}
{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}
{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}
{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}
{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}
{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}
{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.
He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}
{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}
{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2014-10-21T23:07:53Z

Demaster:

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas White]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers (Mimms's in pink and Lucas's in green) provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokémon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokémon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three things:
:# What Chris was like at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# If he could tell us anything about [[Megan]]
:# If he tried to play his homemade [[cards]].

The answers were shocking:

{{quoteboxred|...Anywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in her place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|1) Did Chris lose a lot at [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and/or [[Pokemon]]? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at [[TCGs]], like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at [[the Game Place]] to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

{{quoteboxred|1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in [[yugi-oh]]. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling "I'm the level up king!" Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, [[Mike]] tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quoteboxgreen|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything}}

{{quoteboxred|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his [[tugboat]] on cards?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. Brawl|Brawl]] for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan [[saga]], or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an [[Wikipedia:List_of_Yu-Gi-Oh!_cards#Exodia|exodia deck]]. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like [[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Dragons|Dungeons and Dragons]] or [[Wikipedia:Call of Cthulhu (role-playing game)|Call of Cthullu]] or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Nope, never have. Although one time I had my [[HEXBox|360]] and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], Link, and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris and cosplaying|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre [[Target]], the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]], [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and [[Autism]]) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.}}{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.
2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his [[PSP]] or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on [[Youtube]], but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank [[god]].}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

{{quoteboxgreen|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of [[JERKS|bros]].}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

{{quoteboxred|I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

{{quoteboxred|I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the [[Niggos|black kids]] at [[yugi-oh]]. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. He would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

{{quoteboxred|I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a [[gay]] male who was friends with [[Megan]] at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at The GAMe PLACe===
Re. the infamous photograph:
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than [[Lucas]] and [[Mike]]].}}
{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on [[/v/]] I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}
===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a [[virgin]] also? Or his [[love quest]]...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets [[stress|really impatient]] during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to [[the Game Place]]? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, [[ban]] took place?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}
{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at [[the Game Place]] because of the way he acts?}}
{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. [[Mike]] and I have talked about the [[reality]] [[Barb#Pampering_of_Chris|that his parents have helped him fabricate]]. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the [[jerkops|cops]] in the shop?}}
{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}
{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}
{{quoteboxgreen|No}}
{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}
{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}
===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a close weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I remember one time at a [[Wikipedia:Universal Fighting System|UFS]] gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the [[Wikipedia:Darkstalkers|Darkstalkers]] anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}
{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about [[Sailor Moon]] a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames [[ED]] for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}
{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority ([[jerkops|cops]]/ [[law|court]]) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}
{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the [[internet]], do you personally feel he's deserved the [[troll]]ing he's gotten the past year?}}
{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving [[trolls]] amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}
{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}
{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}
{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|man in the pickle suit]] got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}
{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}
{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}
{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.
He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}
{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}
{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

October 2013 Facebook Posts

2014-10-21T23:03:59Z

Demaster: /* GAMe PLACe revelations */

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted on October 2013. Many of these posts have been [http://imgur.com/a/lVGHa leaked on Imgur] but have not not transcribed yet on this page. It is your job to change that!

==Summary==
* 2 [[October 2013]] - Chris makes a series of [[random-access humor]] posts.
* 3 [[October 2013]] - Chris posts an angry rant directed at [[Megan]].
* 4 October 2013 - Chris tells Megan to apologize to him personally, work and getting him unbanned from various commercial venues in his area and stop all internet trolling against him, or else he wouldn't remove the curse he has placed on her. Shortly afterwards on the same day he wrote another post, purportedly revealing the conversation between Megan, other Game Place patrons and store employees which led to the organized trolling campaign directed at Chris.
* 28 October 2013 - Chris made a post on Facebook to leave him alone again.
* 30 October 2013 - Chris undergoes perhaps his biggest Facebook meltdown yet, after he posts an e-mail from one of his high school [[gal pal]]s that someone forwarded to him. The e-mail reveals that none of his gal pals especially liked him as a person and only hung around with him out of pity, and that between his bizarre Facebook rants and [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], almost none of his high school "friends" have any desire to ever contact him again. In a subsequent post on the same day, Chris says that he was so crushed by this revelation that he considered suicide.

==Status Updates==

===Wacky random-access humor!===

On 2 October 2013 Chris made a series of random-access humor posts. According to Facebook, these were all posted near one of the locations called [[wikipedia:Clover Hill, Virginia|Clover Hill, Virginia]], but it is not clear which one exactly:

{{quotebox|Basement Rats and Free Hats! We don't have either one. - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|Muck stuck icky bickie boo boo boom. 09:51, 6 May 2014 (UTC)09:51, 6 May 2014 (UTC) - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|"Carrots are good for your eyes; can it dial a phone?" - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|I once knew a man from Nantucket, who had on his head a stupid bucket. - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|There once was a nose from Pocanose, but then it ran away to Snotsville. - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|Oh, look. There's a hippo on my head. I'm flat as a paper. Don't just stand there; write a letter on me. "Dear sir, Hello. Buck Williams. - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|"I'm upside-down in a car, driving my way to the grocery store" "Root-De-Doot-De-Doot" "Stop saying "Root-De-Doot-De-Doot;" that's my bit, get your own." "Okay, how about Spling-pling-bling-bing-slee-de-lee-dee." - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|"Slimerr." "Whaat?" "I'm gonna bust your ass." "Nooooooooooo!" "Ha-Ha." - feeling dumb}}

{{quotebox|When your mind is a blank, the repeated stupidities really drive you insane, and it is boring! - feeling dumb}}

===Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 3 October 2013
<nowiki>**Megan Schroeder!**</nowiki>

You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, [[Trolls]], [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]] People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with [[Megagi La Skunk]]; [[Chris and reality|she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist]]. Also, your [[Sailor Megtune]] powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! [[Sailor Moon|Usagi and the Sailor Scouts]] would have been most ashamed of you.

You need to pay me what you owe for [[Chris and hypocrisy|Destroying Me, My Heart, My Soul, and My Life]] with your ungratefulness to [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|my past loyalty and devotion]]. You played me for a fool for Years, making me spend and spend on you with borrowed [[Chris and money|money]]! You continuously had Mimms an everyone else online humiliate me! I can not ever find employment now, because my background check has been made null and void with Your Damn Internet Troll Army! You would not even accept the Copies of the Uncut SM series I had burned for you! You conned me into giving you my Original DVDs. It is as if I was swindled into bargain basement, counterfeit imported crap. I poured my heart for you, and you break the glass pitcher the essence was stored in.

You need to pay me what you greatly owe me for Destroying Me! And [if] not or you and your army, stressing us out, my father would still be alive today! Face Me In Person and settle our Long Heated Rivalry and Domestic Hatred, NOW!!!}}

Chris also immediately posted two comments to his post:

{{quotebox|And by the way, [[Chris and religion|I pray]] you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch]] and the [[Michael Snyder|Bastard]]! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!}}

{{quotebox|NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!}}

===Apologize or else===

The next day he blamed Megan for this site.

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the [[CWCki|Cwcki]], its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.}}

===GAMe PLACe revelations===

On the same day in which he posted the previous post, Chris made another one, correcting Megan's slanderous lies and revealing the true and honest truth about what happened at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|October 4, 2013
Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs on to me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "[[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; His Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my [[homosexual]] fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!"

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.}}

Immediately afterwards Chris posted the following comment to his post:

{{quotebox|NOBODY COMMENT OR EMAIL ME! I want HER to contact me In Person and Face to Face!}}

===Announcement===

{{quotebox|October 11, 2013

<nowiki>**Announcement**</nowiki>

Someone is pretending to be me in Spoofing and has been spamming the message screen capped below to a lot of people; likely those in my contact list on my AOL account.

Mainly, I have not ever been to the Phillipines; I am still in Ruckersville, VA; financial issues for real right here and now are irrelevant, and I am not in any trouble with any police or "embassy". Whoever is pretending to be me in this spoof attempt needs to stop or be stopped.

And in any case, please disregard the message if you have received it. — feeling pissed off.}}

===Mighty Wings Review===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|October 15, 2013
I just had a 5 piece Mighty Wing at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]], with honey mustard; I had a sauce-free bite first. At the Forest Lakes location at least, there is a reason for offering a large drink free with 5 piece purchase. BOLDY SPICY!! They would do just as well offering a milk jug or two with purchase. They should make t-shirts: "I Survived the McD Mighty Wings!"}}

{{quotebox|Also, I just had my weight checked; lost seven pounds}}

===Another Announcement===
After the September 2013 Facebook leak on the [[CWCki Forums]], Chris posted the following:
{{quotebox|Monday, 28 October 2013

Announcement: Attention Everyone: Whoever has been capping and discussing my private posts, Please Stop It. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Megagi_La_Skunk_agrees_that_you_should_have_never_been_born|I have no intention]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Apologize_or_else|towards anything online]], and my private thoughts I share Only with my [[Anna McLerran|Real Friends]] in my List Only should remain Private as such. [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#GAMe_PLACe_revelations|And I have not been]] [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Announcement|whining about anyone]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|so please stop bothering people and telling them that I had]]. I will never be a member of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|anything]] about and/or against me online Ever, so any "kind offers" will be automatically rejected and ignored.

In other words, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Leave Me Alone and Quit Talking About Me At All]], you pinheaded [[Trolls]]!!!}}

===Reality Comes Knocking===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 30 October 2013

I had long thought I was liked genuinely as a person in [[Manchester High School]] by my closest [[gal pal]]s and everyone else. Now I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me.

Let me share a couple of recent [[emails]] from one of my friends. I am not doing this to be mean, cruel or bad, but it really hurts me emotionally.}}

{{quoteboxred|A lot of us were surprised, even shocked to see how much Christian had changed from the way we remembered him in high school. He was just this awkward, slightly-odd, shy kid back then. A lot of the [[Slow-in-the-minds|Special Ed kids]] got picked on but, [[Chris and his Ego|for some reason]], Christian seemed to get it much worse than the others. _____ and _____ I let Christian hang out with us mainly because we felt sorry for him. He sort of latched onto us, like he expected us to protect him. He was like a [[Naive|lost little boy]]. Sometimes I think he saw us as sort of mother figures, which seems a little creepy now, but Christian seemed harmless enough back then, and we didn't mind him hanging out with us. As far as socializing goes, we didn't really hang with him outside of school, except for the time we went to [[My big 18th party|his 18th birthday party]].

_____ and _____ weren't so much friends of Christian's, as they were his protectors. Some kids used to mess with him and steal his stuff. These kids were constantly teasing Christian and picking on him, doing whatever they could to get some kind of reaction out of him. Mostly Christian just cried or ran away. I don't think I can remember a time where he tried to stand up to the bullies. He seemed to prefer to have other people do that for him.

No, I don't really follow Christian's activity on [[Facebook]]. I'm actually not on his friends list, for reasons I'd rather not discuss with someone I don't really know that well (no offense). I know a lot of the people that are on his friends list, and they mostly ignore him. He's basically background noise. The only time they really notice his posts is when he tags them. Some of the stuff he posts is kind of bizarre and disturbing, which is the main reason why I decided I didn't want to have any contact with him.

I'm also really creeped out that he's still obsessed with _____ and he's actively looking for her. She is well aware of this and she's taken steps to make sure that she's VERY hard, if not impossible, to find. Yes, I've been in touch with her, but I don't feel that I have her permission to pass along her contact information. I'll pass along your email address though, if that's OK. That way, she can contact you if she wants to.

A lot of people became friends with Christian because of the reunion and also, because a lot of them still felt sorry for him. Some people are having second thoughts though, after seeing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|that awful picture]] he drew of [[Megan Schroeder|his friend]]. A lot of people stopped feeling sorry for him and started ignoring him after they saw that. I was shocked that he could draw something so gross and depraved. The "thumbs up" sign really pissed me off for some reason. The whole thing was very sexist, disrespectful, and, above all - damn creepy.

I have my suspicions about who may have leaked Christian's Facebook posts, but I'd rather not say, because I don't want to be involved in this. Christian accused this person of "leaking" the full list of classmates from our graduating class. Christian contacted some of his MHS friends and tried to make trouble. He told them to give this guy a hard time for what he did. His friends weren't amused. Anyway, I don't think Christian has anything to worry about. He's not friends with this guy anymore.}}

{{Quotebox|Once again, Not to be mean, cruel or bad:

I did not mean to sound cruel; I had thought you all were my friends for the sake of friendship, not for pity.

Really? REALLY?! You all thought of me as weak from first and outside impressions? For your information, I was not picked on as much as I am interpreting your exaggeration. If I was picked on as much as stated, I would have had wedgies, I would have been pestered in the Locker Room, I would have been shoved into a locker, etc., and NONE of those things have ever happened to me at all. I never expected any "protection" from anyone, and I looked up to you all as my Friends, Never like mothers. Oh, my god. I had no preference to anyone doing anything for me; I did a Lot of things for myself, including my homework. I was consistently on [[honor roll|Honor Roll]]. Forgive me if my posts were not being considered "Normal" to you, but my life is what it is, and [[Honest Content|I am usually honest about details.]] NOBODY is happy or mentally sound 24/7/365. EVERYONE in this world has their own Mental Problems, No Matter What or Who. And frankly, I feel pissed off that you would judge me still for that ONE drawing that I had already elaborated on to make sure it had not been taken out of context. And [[Mimms]] is not to be trusted. If he really wanted to help me, he would have never EVER taken my photograph in [[2007]] and make mockery of me!

For everyone's information, I wanted to locate [[Tiffany Gowen]], because I wanted and needed my closest friend to talk to and find closure; I am Lonely and Sad! I went well out of my way to gather towards bringing everyone together for the reunion; I put a lot of the pure goodness I had felt in my my heart and soul into that work. Now I find out everyone was nice to me not for the sake of friendship or that they liked me, but because of sorry feelings!

I was mainstreamed throughout my education; [[Chris and reality|it had worked out well for me.]] I could be a lot worse off. I am not certain pity friendships are for the better for anyone, but real [[My_Little_Pony|friendships really are magic]] and healing, or at least they're supposed to be.

Well, now I know where I stand — feeling very sad.}}
Chris later added:
{{quotebox|This makes me so sad, I actually considered suicide. The only reasons I don't do it are [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and [[Clover and Snoopy|my dogs]], and that [[Chris and religion|premature death leaves one in Limbo]]. I am really hurt, and I feel emotionally paralyzed and numb. It all hurts.}}

===PLEASE UNDO IT!===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|
Look, Whoever reported me just now, PLEASE UNDO IT! I was typing a message to [[Gal pal#Molly Quarles|Molly Marie Quarles]] asking her if the recent email applied to her as well.}}

===Chris Will Only Accept Your Apologies In Person===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|If anyone wants to sincerely apologize to me or actually offer [[China|anything even remotely positive to me]], come to my house at [[14 Branchland Court]] in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]; I don't take [[emails]], [[phone calls]] or whatnot; those can be faked.}}

==Posts by Chris's Friends==
{{incomplete}}

==eBay Selling Feed==
{{incomplete}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

September 2013 Facebook Posts

2014-10-21T22:59:13Z

Demaster: /* Chris-Chan explains it all */

The following are a series of [[Facebook]] posts Chris posted on [[September 2013]].

(Note: Some info have been removed for identity protection and to prevent namefagging.)

==Summary==
* 1 [[September 2013]] - Chris talks about [[My Little Pony]] again, revealing his favourite ponies.
* 2 September 2013 - Chris complains about being intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully".
* 3 September 2013 - Chris whines to one of his Facebook friends about his stress.
* 4 September 2013 - Chris rated 1 star for the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]].
* 6 September 2013 - Chris shared a link about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. He also complains about being banned from [[Walmart]].
* 7 September 2013 - Chris scratched a woman's car at El Agave Lot and wants [[God]] to kill him.
* 10 September 2013 - Chris posted a link to the Facebook page "Brassieres For Males".
* 11 September 2013 - Chris shared the Facebook link to the movie "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close".
* 17 September 2013 - Chris receives a [[Sonic]] Underground DVD as a present, and rants about how people should send their gifts to him.
* 24 September 2013 - Chris uploads a photo of Megan, and several of himself holding what appears to be a Lego figure.

==Posts by Chris==
===Completing the MHS Roster Checklist===
{{incomplete}}
{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013

Completing the MHS Roster Checklist

I'm writing this note as a sticky reminder to all my classmates for the upcoming reunion. <nowiki>**</nowiki>I am still searching for '''[[Tiffany Nicole Gowen]]''' and '''[[Gal pals#Miranda Joyce Mitchell|Maranda Joyce Mitchel]]''' who aren't on Facebook as far as I can tell.<nowiki>**</nowiki>}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
[[File:Saved.jpg|thumb|Derpy Hooves.]]
Chris reveals his favourite ponies from [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behavior could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''[REDACTED]'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''[REDACTED]''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that the "offline bully" was actually a [[manajerk]] who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalized one of their [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]] displays.

[[William Elliott Waterman]] then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain. In a desperate bid not to blame himself for his vandalism incident, Chris instead blames [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his attorney [[Rob Bell]].
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
[[File:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|THE GERMAN WARFARE BITCH]]
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

Chris later deleted the entire post.

===CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events===
{{main|CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events}}
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 3 September 2013
I have just vented past frustrations from my life to figure out the root of what happened yesterday. It all definitely was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Megan Schroeder]] AND [[Michael Snyder]] who made me worse off than I was after Graduation.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|September 3, 2013
- Roche ([[Roach]]) woman, resided in Yellow House on Westwood Drive in Green Lea Subdivision in Ruckersville, VA, locked me in a room all alone with nothing but toys; initiated my speak stopping at 1.5 years old. 
- [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathaniel Green Elementary School]]: I was pinned to the floor by four to five teachers/counselors; my screams were tape recorded; got a red mark on my neck for that. 
- Principal tried to sit me on his lap in attempt to molest; I jumped off and hid under a desk. 
- All of the court actions that arose, prior to moving to Chesterfield Co. 
- [[Providence Middle School]]: verbal bullying from a handful of students. 
- Dragged to Principal's office by the ankles for something I did. 
- [[Manchester High School]]: Mrs, Laurie Jones emptied my locker; I felt violated and squirmed on the floor.}}

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted this, proving that he still has a grudge for his elementary school:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions===
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a [http://www.jamesmw.com/sixrules.htm link] from [[Anna]] about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. Needless to say, Chris dug his hole even further:
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013

I will read this more thoroughly, but I have read the bolded rules and the intro paragraph. I disagree on two of the rules: I personally really Hate being interrupted during a thought I am expressing. And in addition to looking for equal and better mental and emotional properties in my (female) [[Sweetheart]] than myself, her Looks and Beauty I feel are a must to be easy on the eyes. Especially in the face; pretty faces are great. Moderate to good body and minimum "B"-cup breasts are essential. If I did not have the fear of the Theoretical or Fake/Anonymous People online, I would have as many female friends as Richie Grecki has in his Likes Section. Hot Damn!

I am not a prejudiced individual, and I do look for the inner beauty of women. Anyway, the Autistic Interactions Rules do reflect and agree to what I was trying to say in my [[Autism Tutorial|6-Part plus Extra Autism Tutorial LittleBiGPlanet Animation (PSN: Sonichu)]].

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1mbTyKiqF8</nowiki>}}

''Note: Richie Grecki is one of Chris's former high school classmates.''

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]]===
[[File:Sonichu Death March by inappropriatenudging.png|thumb|''She has crossed his line, and now I am out for revengence.'']]
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[Kick the Autistic|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEXBox|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barbara Chandler|mother's]] prescriptions filled.
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerks|Manajerk]], '''[REDACTED]'''; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear Solid|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of '''[REDACTED]''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[Chris and remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[Naïve|lack-of-understanding]], [[Homos|bigoted]], [[Chris and race|discriminating]], [[Chris and his Ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|'''[REDACTED]''' is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}
A public user then replied:
{{quoteboxred|What in the name of God are you trying to pull posting stuff like this???? Do a Google search and simply find another Wal-Mart.}}
Chris Rhodes, one of Chris's high school friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|I think the biggest question is what did you do to get kicked out...and don't say you did nothing wrong cause that would be a lie.}}
{{quotebox|The "Man" and "Woman" want to bear down on the weak people they do not want to understand or care about; Autistic People are on the top!}}
Again, Anna tries to give him some advice:
{{quoteboxgreen|Christian, people don't just automatically know you're autistic. And they can't know automatically that you've had a rough day. In the world of neurotypicals, if someone acts aggressive (yelling or arguing) in a public place, they are considered a danger to those around them because they're unpredictable. Those of us who know you know that you're not dangerous, but people who don't know you are acting solely on the information they have about you, which to them is whatever impression you made upon them with your first interactions.}}

{{quoteboxgreen|I think it would be constructive to bring your mother with you and sit down and speak rationally with her instead of blaming everything on her. Apologize for anything you did that she thinks was wrong, even if you don't think it was wrong. You'll really just be apologizing for making her upset, because I'm sure you didn't mean to. Then explain how important it is that you be allowed to continue shopping there, and promise that there will be no future incidents. I think that's probably the best course of action.}}
Chris Rhodes then posted:
{{quoteboxred|You have to wake up son! And grasp the fact that everyone is not out to get you. 99.9 percent of the world doesn't know you have issues. They see someone acting odd and they try to take care of the situation.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|To be fair, Chris (Rhodes), the majority of Christian's experience with the world has certainly made it seem like the world's out to get him. The daily bombardment he has received from people who hate him (but don't know him) for no good reason (since 2007!) has certainly been effective in creating the appearance of everyone hating him.}}
{{quotebox|To '''[REDACTED]''': I added an "H" and an "E" to an XBox One Standee in Permanent Ink while under anger from past issues.}}
{{quotebox|I can't bring my mother in; she has had enough problems gone on; I am not telling her, because she is in a recovering mood after the court date yesterday.}}
Posts are then exchanged between Chris Rhodes and Chris:
{{quoteboxred|So you vandalized a display sign...your lucky that's all that happened.}}
{{quotebox|I got BANNED AGAIN! Do you NOT get it?}}
{{quoteboxred|I get it. You committed an arrestable offense but they gave you a break and banned you.}}
{{quotebox|that is NOT a break, being Banned; THAT is a Crime.}}
{{quoteboxred|Any property owner/manager/rep has the RIGHT to tell you to leave, tell you not to come back, or so on. And if you do not obey their wishes you can and will be arrested for trespassing. I know what I am talking about christian.}}
{{quotebox|They do not.}}
{{quotebox|And if they do, they are most in the wrong, because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever.}}
After that, [[William Elliott Waterman]] tries to give him some advice, but like Anna's and the previous post, his advice is brushed off.
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, that's not public property. You can't just go writing whatever you want on it. How would you feel if you were trying to sell PS3s and somebody wrote "POO" in front of the PS on your sign?}}
{{quotebox|[[naïve|Frustration is blind]].}}
Chris later deleted the entire post again.

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===
[[File:GJ-Radar.jpg|thumb|[[Asperchu|''I am the true Christian, not you.'']]]]
On 7 [[September 2013]], Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car by a [[jerkop]]. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a newfound life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].

Characteristic of Chris, he continues to pass the buck for his own blame, this time blaming both God and the woman he hit for being a "damn Smoker!".
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
[[Chris and reality|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again]]! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn [[Tobacky|Smoker]]! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[Chris and anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick the Autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}

===Brassieres For Males===
Chris shared a link to the Facebook page "Brassieres For Males", a page dedicated to support [[JERKS|males]] to wear sports bras.
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 10 September 2013
I encourage Everyone to show their support by wearing a Sports Bra, and encouraging the uncovered men to wear them as well.

https://www.facebook.com/BrassieresForMales}}
[[Kim Wilson]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Wow, you've got four likes already!}}

===PLEASE, Do Not Unfriend and Leave Me!!!===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 10 September 2013
We are all still a Family (symbolically, especially every Classmate of my Graduating Class to me). and when I see my Friend count Decrease, even by ONE, it seriously hurts me deep. Everyone who will remember me as the one who Cried and Shook Nobody's Hand on Stage at our Graduation. I was Really Upset. because I was being forced to leave my friends Every Friend I Lose it is Manchester High Graduation all over again for me. SERIOUSLY!

I still deeply care a lot about everyone who cares about me as well, as well all of my friends and family. Our Millennium MHS Class. I consider everyone, regardless of current status. situation or whatever, and especially regardless of lack of acquaintanceship on my part. all My Family that I am looking to bring together in Good Friendship and for our Family Photo that is our Reunion.}}

{{quotebox|Even worse, it is difficult to tell who left. It does not even come up in my Activity Log.}}

{{quotebox|Hey Christian -- it does hurt to lose Facebook friends and see that number go down. And it must hurt to re-live that memory over and over. But remember, we can't control other people's actions, we can only control ourselves. People will come and go. but the ones who matter most will stay. If that number goes down and you don't know who it was. then that person wasn't very close to you. No big loss! Please try your very best not to create associations between Facebook friends from high school and the hurtful memory from graduation. I know that is hard. but I think you will be happier in the end :)}}

===Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close===
On 11 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a Facebook link to the movie "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close".

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 11 September 2013
It is a touching and good movie to watch today.

<nowiki>https://www.facebook.com/extremelyloudandincrediblyclose</nowiki>
}}

===Baffled===
{{Incomplete}}

{{quotebox|September 12, 2013
I am baffled! I get an email from one of my Closest Gal-Pals, Sarah Anne Bevel Ingram; she tells me, "I don't really know you". Is She Serious?! She, Tiffany Gowen and I shared a Home Ec class our Seinor Year; we ate lunch together on those same days. She made me feel better one day when I was feeling a difficult time. She came to my 18th Birthday Party. HOW could she NOT know me; we were Friends. - g feeling upset.}}

{{quotebox|One of my Closest Friends.}}

{{quotebox|I wonder if she meant that so much time has passed, she feels like she doesn't know you anymore. Perhaps her memory is not as clear as yours!}}

{{quotebox|Have you talked to her since graduation? Before now, I mean.}}

===Fans are Weird, Part 1===
On 17 [[September 2013]], Chris received a [[Sonic]] Underground DVD, either from a fan or a [[troll]], and rants about how people should send their gifts to him. He also links an [[Excel Saga]] video:

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Time Code: 18:00 - The Most Proper method to deliver a Gift to someone: In Person. Or otherwise, in their Newspaper Box is the Best Indirect Method. In Any Case, I agree with [[Excel Saga|Excel]], "Fans Are Weird." And to add, Crazy, Mental, Lack of Life, etc, etc, etc.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1thIup5cqVU&feature=share</nowiki>}}

===Fans are Weird, Part 2===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Today, September 17, 2013, I found a DVD, which I assume was a present from a Troll or "Fan". It had been resting there for some time before I found it. I could tell that, because it had gotten wet from Rain. Let me make it clear: If you Really Want to make sure I get your Gift, even indirectly, Do Not Be So Careless. Not wildly on the Grass or Yardwide; Not on the Windshield of a vehicle. Put it in the Newspaper Box, or as some people have, have it shipped to my doorstep. Or even In Person would be well.}}

===="Found Gift/Present" Gallery====
<center>
<gallery>
File:FansareWeird01.jpg|
File:FansareWeird02.jpg|NOT wildly, carelessly thrown onto the yard
File:FansareWeird03.jpg|NOT on a vehicle
File:FansareWeird04.jpg|IN the Newspaper Box
File:FansareWeird05.jpg|It was a long time before I found; Look how wet it is
File:FansareWeird06.jpg|I could be under the amount of [[stress]] YOU DAMN [[trolls|TROLLS]] continue to put me under
File:FansareWeird07.jpg|You shock me by surprise
File:FansareWeird08.jpg|
File:FansareWeird09.jpg|Thanks
File:FansareWeird10.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

===Fans are Weird, Part 3===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 17 September 2013
In any case, "FANS ARE WEIRD."

[[File:FansareWeird11.jpg|200px|center]]}}

===Toy Of The Year===
Chris reposted a picture of his Lego High School set and posted:
{{quotebox|Saturday, 21 September 2013
The Lego Friends High School set should be the next Toy of the Year!

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg|200px|center]]}}

===Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...===
Chris uploads a new picture of [[Megan Schroeder]], along with a rant, and several of him holding a Lego figure.
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 24 September 2013
Yep, [[Chris and hypocrisy|the Bitch has not changed a thing in eight years. Still the same as ever.]] Meh; German-Crazy; Camo-Red specs on. (Just received in an email from the Ex-Friend-turned-Troll of mine). The [[Lego|minifig]] I put [[Chris and English|togeter]] and shake well with [[Mary Lee Walsh|the Witch]] and [[Michael Snyder|the Bastard]] perfectly matches her to an M and S. — }}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg
File:Lego - 24 September 2013.jpeg
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg
</center>
</gallery>
</center>

''The phrase "to an M and S" presumably relates to the idiom "[[Wiktionary:to a T|to a T]]," alluding to the fact that her initials are M.S., like [[Michael Snyder]], and her name starts with an M like [[Mary Lee Walsh]].''

===Chris-Chan explains it all===

In which Chris tells all the true and honest facts about how [[Megan]] ruined his life.

{{quotebox|Friday, 27 September 2013
Attention, Everyone.

There are grave misconceptions that I feel desperately require me to clear up, because what you may hear from other people are likely to be false, or have holes in their tales. Firstly, the ONE, and ONLY ONE, hand drawing I ever did of me and Megan Schroeder in what is of Internet Troll Knowledge on the internet as "Rule 34", of which they have written at rulesoftheinternet.com; involving porn.

I will not be posting the drawing, nor will I ever share it with anyone. The original intent of the drawing was purely and true a wishful thinking piece between me and Megan. And More Importantly, at the time when it was originally drawn, and still would apply, it was a message, informing those damn Trolls and Bullies, who had mislabeled me the opposite, that I was in Full Fact a [[Homos|Straight]] Male; Heterosexual. Nothing degrading or offensive was meant originally by the art piece, plus her eyes were censored; one could figure any brunette woman was the subject. Megan wants to complain about ONE drawing against me versus Her conspiring the PLace employees, [[Daniel Mimms]], [[Lucas White]] and the rest of the entire world to make my life a living Hell. The Encyclopedia Dramatica page was born Late October, [[2007]]; the art was created AFTER she began destroying my Soul, Emotions, Heart, Mentality, and My Good, Clean Life!!! I later tore up the original drawing into many little squares and put them into [[Crumple-Lope|an envelope]], which resides in my scrapbook binder full of shamed past relationship art works.

I have the factual story of everything has actually transpired years ago between me and Megan Schroeder.

August 14th or 21st, [[2004]] (I'm not sure which; it was shortly after [[Wikipedia:Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light|the Yu-Gi-Oh movie]] was released in theaters); I had been a long time player and fan of [[Pokémon]] (both video game and TCG). I became a bit intrigued in the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG, so I took it up as well. The very first tournament I went to at [[The Game Place|the Game and Hobby PLace]]; I saw her face, and I fell in love. Over Two Years, during our times between Pokémon League, Yu-Gi-Oh Tournaments, and UFS TCG (Soul Calibur, Street Fighter, etc) events at the PLace, all I had been was Nothing but Good, Nice, and Loyal to her. [[Women's rights|I only touched her shoulder, hand and long hair]]; last time I checked, THOSE are non-offensive touches. I had not kissed her; she kissed my hand one time. I spent Hundreds of Dollars on her between gifts, and all of the things I bought on [[eBay]] for her; mostly [[Sailor Moon]] trading cards, all at her request. She even asked me to buy her a Zune, which I spent over 200 on at Best Buy. And how does she reimburse me for the favors and the Zune? NO Cash; Only "her merchandise" of collectible [[Anime]] Manga, a few DVDs, figurines, plushes, and a mix bag of [[Lego]] pieces. What did I care then? I was head over heels for that bitch. I bought the Uncut Complete Sailor Moon series on DVDs For MYSELF, then I burned the episodes onto DVD-Rs for her; MY Treat. Admittingly, I had one mishap on One episode in the SailorStars Season; I informed her about that. She declined my gift; she wanted the Original DVDs. H.o.H., I gave her my DVDs. This was still long before October, [[2007]]. We also shared our own hand-drawn art pieces with each other; I drew her in Her favorite Red Dark Magician card, and comically me in my favorite card, Dark Magician Girl.

All of these Good Things, and Freaking Loyalty! And how does she thank me in the end? Getting Mimms and Lucas to take my photograph without my consent, and her ditching me for another dude and PUBLICALLY Making Out with him to Shock me into mental paralysis that same Friday Pokèmon League Night! Then the following Friday, I get my Wii; I randomly decide to Google my name; BAM! The very first hate-filled web page against me. My mother and father had seen her talking with the PLace employees, hearing some parts of her conspirations against me. I had not fully comprehended her Queen Bee of the Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies activities until years later. Her conspiring with said employees also led to my being banned from the PLace.

And NOW, she, with Mimms' help, wants to play the ONE drawing versus Total Life Devastation, Destruction, Creating the Worst Online Reputation (Against Me) Ever In This Earth's History! I ask you, who is the real monster here?}}

==Posts by his friends==
===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the [[Trolls]]/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed [[Autism]]...; they stress my [[Obesity|blood pressure]] up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

===8 VERY good friends===
On 17 [[September 2013]], one of Chris's new high school friends, Richie Grecki posted:

{{quoteboxred|Sittin in a circle like that '70s show with 8 VERY good friends}}
Chris posted this the next day:
{{quotebox|I wish I could do that now with all of my gal pals: [[Tiffany Gowen]], [[Kellie Andes]], Sarah Bevel, Molly Marie Quarles, Maranda Mitchell..., and to fill in the remaining three slots with my more current friends (still from High School): Sarah Susan Hearn, Ashley Abernathy Aviles, and Rebekah Bentley. If I could invite every other woman to the group, I would, plus Chris Rhodes, Matt Stufano, Brian Smart and Damien Coy.}}

===Offline Schoolhouse Education===
On 20 [[September 2013]], Richie Grecki posted:

{{quoteboxred|no matter what kind of mood i'm in, the commercials for EDUCATIONCONNECTION.COM will always make me laugh.}}
{{quotebox|"Get Connected! For Free!" Give me Offline, Schoolhouse Education for Socialization Practices Any Day.}}

==Posts by Chris on others==

===Expand the blood vessels===
On 18 [[September 2013]], Chris posts on a certain Jamie and Adam post:

{{quoteboxred|Thanks for all the sympathy. Had some of the risotto at Jardiniere last night and felt so much better. Just glad I didn't spew on camera. -- Adam

(For those who missed the story, it's here: http://bit.ly/17GT7Y2)}}
{{quotebox|Wow! I hear you, Adam. I too have felt stomach-ache, dizzy and clammy; the hours you have suffered it and toughed it out like you did, THAT was a major feat in itself. Did you try taking an asprin during that experience? Usually, for me and my mother at least, that kind of stress is brought on by constricting blood vessels. Asprin, among other OTC drugs and Rx, at least my mother says, is one that helps expand the blood vessels.}}

===Homosexual males RUIN everything===
On 21 [[September 2013]], Chris posts on another Jamie and Adam post:

{{quoteboxred|This made me laugh far more than I thought was possible. http://i.imgur.com/mimlRw5.jpg (from reddit) -- Adam}}
{{quotebox|Well, yes and no on humorous. The [[homos|homosexual male]]s RUIN Everything for the rest of us. "YMCA" and rainbows for starters, and I wish we could go back to when "gay" ONLY meant happy, as sung in the "Flintstones" theme song. Oi!}}

==Facebook Shares and Likes==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Likes
! Link
! Date
|-
|ahahahaha this is such a joke of an article. there is more to PUNK than not giving a fuck and doing drugs. apparently that makes miley punk. (Miley Cyrus Is Punk As Fuck <nowiki>|</nowiki> NOISEY)
|https://www.facebook.com/richie.grecki/posts/607932602606086
|20 September 2013
|-
|}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-10-21T22:46:34Z

Demaster:

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:Mystery Woman 2014.jpg|thumbnail|right|Probable depiction.]]
In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he has found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other_documents#Items_sent_by_Chris_to_a_CWCki_Forums_member]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 [[July 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Life events]]</ref>

On 5 [[September 2014]] Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref> As of the time of writing, very little is known about this woman and her motives for being in contact with Chris. Hell, for all we know she could be [[Chloe|completely fictional]], or even [[Megan Schroeder|just]] [[The Wallflower|another]] [[Tiffany Gowen|unlucky]] [[gal pal|gal-pal]] that Chris has taken [[Chris and sex|a bit too much]] [[China|interest]] in.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|September 11th]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

On 16 September, Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing]] to his [[Duck|prostate region]], where his apparent '[[China|clit]]' would be, [[Tomgirl|if he had one]].<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> Whether Chris's most recent sweetheart has any knowledge of this (if any knowledge of his being a transgender individual at all), has yet to be seen.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a [[Three-Quarter Woman|CD]] for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] - [[Chris and his Ego|has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her]].

On 4 October, Chris uploaded a video entitled [[I Love You, Catherine]], revealing that the mystery sweetheart may indeed be the eponymous [[Catherine]] mentioned in the video. The video description Chris wrote indicates that he might be in an open relationship with her. It also indicates a falling out involving a [[JERK|man]] named Colin in New York taking her out on a boat ride, likely due to Chris's jealousy and irrational hatred of men. In the description states he will "become a better [[Gaybian|Lesbian]] [[Tomgirl|Transgender]] Sweetheart and Partner", implying that she may have some knowledge of Chris's [[tomgirl]] tendencies.

==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Transgender

2014-10-21T22:36:32Z

Demaster: /* Prologue */ link to "I love you Catherine"

{{Quote|Yes, I am a Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be a full-blown you-know-what. ''[...]'' I have been more self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts, and I am greeting women left and right.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>}}
[[File:TG11.jpg|thumb|Chris during the Tomgirl Saga]]
[[File:Frickinlove1.jpg|thumb|Chris's ultimate dream - meeting a tomboy just like him]]
[[File:Tomboygirl.jpg|thumb|Chris's other dream]]
The '''Tomgirl Saga''' was the eighteenth [[saga]] in [[Chris]]'s life. After being suggested that he get in touch with his feminine side, Chris became a "[[tomgirl]]", dressing in women's clothes and putting on makeup. The [[Calling Out]] videos are generally included as part of this saga.

It's possible that Chris came up with the term from Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill, where he says that being a transvestite is the same as being a male tomboy, though this is not confirmed.

==Summary==
{{quote|Also, here is another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her
clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them
for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie. ;|Chris, Jackie email, May 6 2011<ref name="Jackie24" />}}

===Prologue===
According to an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]] on 26 [[March 2011]], Chris started cross-dressing at the beginning of that month.<ref name="Jackie24">[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> At the end of that month Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl". This was the first sign of the Tomgirl Saga, and caused much speculation among people following Chris. What exactly this quote meant, however, would not be answered until the end of [[April 2011|April]].

On 29 April, the [[Tomgirl Pictures]] were released by [[Surfshack Tito]]. In them, Chris is dressed in woman's clothing, posing in, at least what he believes are, seductive positions. This marked the official beginning of the Tomgirl Saga, as well as finally revealing what his previous PSN quote meant. For some reason, Chris removed the Tomgirl PSN quote immediately after PSN came back online after a month of inactivity, possibly due to receiving attention from [[trolls]].

<center>{{Collapsible|Tomgirl pictures|<gallery>
File:TG2.jpg|Tomgirl car in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:TG3.jpg|Chris previously drew on the [[Charlottesville]] Free Speech Wall in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]].
File:TG4.jpg
File:TG5.jpg|Chris matched the color of his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]] with his new pair of sandals.
File:TG6.jpg
File:TG7.jpg|Left ear buccaneer, right ear [[Homos|queer]].
File:TG8.jpg|Not the first time that Chris has covered his face in [[pickle]]s and [[Semen|white goo.]] Also, he's using the [[Plush Breasts]] as a pillow.
File:TG9.jpg|You just know this picture will be used in the paper when Chris finally kills [[Michael Snyder|someone]].
File:TG10.jpg|Not even white knights can say anything to defend this...
File:TG11.jpg
File:TG12.jpg
File:TG13.jpg|DAT ASS
File:TG14.jpg
File:TG15.jpg|[[Barbara|Barb 2.0]]
File:TG16.jpg
File:TG17.jpg|He made himself into a sweetheart from the ground-up.
File:TG18.jpg|GOODBYE HORSES
File:TG19.jpg
File:TG20.jpg|The PlayStation Move SharpShooter doesn't make the look any manlier.
File:TG21.jpg
File:TG22.jpg
File:TG23.jpg
File:TG24.jpg|Note the [[Medallions_of_Fail#The_Asperchu_Medallion_.28a.k.a._The_Medallion_of_Win.3F.29|Asperchu Medallion]] at top right.
File:TG25.jpg
File:TG26.jpg
File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|Chris's [[Facebook]] pic of July 2011, with Tomgirl earrings
File:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|A random PS3 Home avatar which in no way reminds us of Chris. Good thing they put the usernames there.
File:Chris 09.jpg|In September, Chris was spotted at [[Wal-Mart]]. Note the purse.
</gallery>}}
</center>

Barb was not happy, making negative remarks, such as, "do not wear eye shadow," "you look like [[Carlos Chantor|a prostitute]]," "lipstick makes you look like a hooker," "you're turning into a [[homos|gay]]," "[[Un-clit|what are you piercing next?]]" and "what's next, you [[I Love You, Catherine|wearing a skirt]] and high heels?"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>

===Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia===
[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|left|thumb|Chris' TAToV avatar, used while posting as KookyDashy]]
In late May, Chris discovered the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum. The forum was dedicated to tomboys and tomgirls living in Virginia who wish to discuss their lives. Chris joined under the username [[My Little Pony|Kookydashy]], marking a midpoint in the saga.

In the posts Chris made, he mostly talked about himself and his tomgirl antics. Chris revealed that he had [[Homos|come out]] to his parents, only to receive insults from them. [[Barb]], in particular, has kept complaining about his new attire, and [[Bob]], according to Chris, "threw the damned fag card" at him. Chris also recounts a story in which he went to the lady's restroom because he "started feeling discomfort in using the Men's restroom." However, a [[jerkop]] caught him and yelled at him for going to the women's restroom; Chris proceeded to ignore him and continue using the women's restroom.

Later posts Chris made mention his online trolling, practically saying everything but "I am Christian Weston Chandler." According to Chris, socializing online makes people more [[autistic]], and people should socialize offline. Chris also became paranoid of being trolled even on these forums, leading him to accuse a tomboy looking for a tomgirl of being a troll. For a month, Chris didn't post at the forums.

A month later, [[Thorg]] discovered the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and made an article about it on the [[CWCki]]. Chris noticed this quickly, and alerted his fellow tomboys and tomgirls a day later. Chris admitted that he is Christian Weston Chandler. Chris complained about the trolls, and said that he is not a bad person, despite what the CWCki said. The other posters promised to help Chris defeat the trolls. After this, the forums became defunct, as the tomboys and tomgirls helped Chris find a way to get revenge.

===Calling Out===
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris during the Calling Out videos]]
In August, Chris makes his return to Youtube. After planning with his fellow tomboys and tomgirls, he has obtained dox on all of his trolls. From here, Chris makes a series of videos calling out various trolls.

Chris first calls out Surfshack Tito, and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris. Surfshack Tito replied a few days later, meeting Chris's demands.

The next troll called out was Thorg. Chris demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris. Unlike Tito, Thorg did not take Chris seriously. Chris re-calls out Thorg, and eventually unmasks him as Jeremy Slonwhite, a fat, nerdy atheist living in Canada.

Chris then calls out [[Jack Thaddeus]], and simply demands that he apologize to Chris. However, Jack Thaddeus unmasked himself, revealing that he is ADF, another lolcow. Chris responds by mocking him and his communist views.

Later, Chris calls out [[Alec Benson Leary]], and demands that he apologize to Chris. Alec Benson Leary did not respond to Chris's [[Calling Out]] video, so Chris unmasked him as Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man who eats food on Youtube.

Finally, Chris called out [[BlueSpike]], and demanded that he 1) stop people from prank calling him and screaming "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris. BlueSpike did not respond, but Chris did not unmask him because tragedy had hit his family.

===Epilogue?===
On [[September 2011|6 September 2011]], [[Bob]] passed away from heart failure. This brought the public events of Tomgirl Saga to a relatively abrupt end, as Chris was in mourning and apparently too depressed to make more videos. BlueSpike's deadline to respond to Chris passed without Chris unmasking him. Only a few pictures of tomgirl Chris have emerged since then.

However, this major life event did not dissuade Chris from being a tomgirl. 3 years later, according to his latest [[OkCupid]] profile, he stated "I would cross dress more often if my mother was not against me doing it (panties and bra included, but wear them anyway)."

===Chris the Homo?===
On 14 August [[2014]], Chris [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|revealed]] via [[Facebook]] that he is a self-described "Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser", claiming shortly afterward to be a [[Gaybian|lesbian in a male body]]. He also proclaimed that he is a supporter of "LBT" rights, which seems to have neatly coincided with the advent of his professed status as a trans person. His omission of the "G" (Gay) was attacked by Kim, in the face of which Chris admitted that the [[Homos|"G.M.s"]] were "fortunate" to be "on the boat", suggesting that he despises gay men as much as ever.

===Evidence of Legitimate Transsexualism===
Almost none. Though he has extolled wearing a bra for years, he staunchly claimed that he was a man at the time — and still is bizarrely claiming to be a "lesbian identified male" rather than adopting a female identity. His hatred of all [[Pickle|pickles]] rather than just his own suggests issues about sexual insecurity rather than gender insecurity, and his total non-acceptance of LGBT people until now is another nail in the coffin.

===Possible Reasons for the Tomgirl Turn===

Most may wonder why Chris, after so many years of preaching against this type of behaviour, would turn around and dress like a woman, especially since it adds fuel to the fire that he might be [[Homos|homosexual]], a term he outright hates. There are a few theories:

* As [[Clyde Cash]] pointed out, it could be a latent desire he's been in denial over for years and only now beginning to embrace.
* Some suggested that he received advice about "getting in touch with his feminine side" and Chris [[Autism|took it literally]].
* As evidenced by [[Women's rights|his past behaviour towards women]] and his recent bragging about using the female restroom, he could be doing it as an excuse to peep on women using them. While it's also likely he's doing it to avoid seeing other men's [[Duck|ducks]], but when you consider that he once suggested to trolls that he go and rape his guidance counselor, would you really put it past him?
* It could be a bizarre, roundabout solution to the cognitive dissonance that no doubt comes with Chris's increasingly often demonstrated [[JERKS|hatred of his own gender]]. As opposed to, you know, abandoning his hatred of men and admitting to himself that he only ever hated them because [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|he's]] [[Liquid Chris|jealous]] and too immature to deal with jealousy properly.
*Also, as shown by [[PlayingHouse| his very strange, childish, and lazy fantasy]] of what married life would be like for him, Chris obviously does not want to have to be the spouse who provides for the family. It's possible that Chris realized that its usually the Man who has a job, and the woman stays home. Chris may have decided to say he was trans so he could have an excuse to not work.

==Timeline==
* [[March 2011|30 March 2011]] - Chris changes his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl", foreshadowing the [[Tomgirl Pictures]].
* [[April 2011|29 April 2011]] - [[Tomgirl Pictures|Several pictures of Chris in his tomgirl attire are released.]] These pictures ended the speculation caused by Chris's most recent PSN quote, as well as marking the official start of the Tomgirl Saga.
* [[May 2011|14 May 2011]] - Chris removes the "I am Tomgirl" quote from his PSN account, immediately after PSN comes back online after a month of being inactive.
* 29 May 2011 - Chris discovers and joins the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum as Kookydashy. He makes three notable posts:
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Introductions!|Chris writes his introduction]] to his fellow tomboys and tomgirls.
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Chris describes how he came out]] as a tomgirl to his parents, as [[Bob]] called him a "fag", and [[Barb]] commented "I didn't raise a daughter".
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|Chris recounts an experience]] where he got yelled at by a [[jerkop]] for going to the women's restroom.
* [[June 2011|9 June 2011]] - In another post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|Chris reveals that Barb]] tried to pay him to stop wearing panties, only to refuse. He then goes on and suggests that all men should be legally required to wear [[Muscle bra|bras]].
* 17 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Friendship Issues|Chris talks about himself]] in a post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum. He mentions how he had more [[gal-pals]] then male friends, and that [[dating education]] should be a mandatory class.
* 22 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Reputation|Chris makes his final post]] on the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum before being discovered by the [[CWCki]], where he all but says he is Christian Weston Chandler, mentioning both his [[trolls]] and [[Sonichu]].
* [[July 2011|20 July 2011]] - [[Thorg]] discovers the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and makes an article about it on the CWCki.
* 21 July 2011 - Chris responds to the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia's discovery in a post, where he officially declares that he is Christian Weston Chandler. He complains about his trolls, and reassures his fellow posters that he is not a bad person. After talking about this with other posters for a few days, he stops posting on the forums, and later the forums are deleted.
* [[August 2011|6 August 2011]] - The next part of the Tomgirl Saga begins, when Chris returns to [[Youtube]]. He makes three videos, calling out various trolls and threatening to reveal their dox if they do not comply to his demands.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Chris calls out]] [[Surfshack Tito]], and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris calls out]] [[Thorg]], and demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris.
** [[Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris tells Thorg and Tito]] that they must respond to the [[Calling Out]] videos by August 31.
* 9 August 2011 - Two videos by Chris were released, and Tito releases a video responding to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Chris calls out]] [[Alec Benson Leary]], simply demanding that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[It's not that cold|Chris goes outside,]] pretends to dig up [[Patti]], and wears her as a coat, in a parody of The Silence of the Lambs.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|Tito responds to Chris,]] who is desperate in making sure Chris does not release his dox, and complies to Chris's demands.
* 10 August 2011 - Chris makes two more videos:
** [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris accepts Tito's attempts]] to meet Chris's demands, and re-calls out Thorg for not meeting Chris's demands.
** [[Correction of EX relationship status|Chris mentions that he never dated the]] [[Wallflower]], and that she was simply a female friend. Chris also mentions he has a new [[sweetheart]].
* 12 August 2011 - [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|Chris unmasks Thorg,]] and reveals that he is Jeremy Slonwhite of Canada.
* 16 August 2011 - Chris makes another two videos, one regarding the Calling Out videos:
** [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|Chris calls out]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], and demands that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Chris makes a makeup tutorial video]], reinforcing his tomgirl status.
* 20 August 2011 - [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris uploads a video where he sings about wristwatches]] dedicated to Thorg, which intimidates Thorg and causes him to leave the Internet.
* 23 August 2011 - Chris uploads another three videos:
** [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|Chris re-calls out Jack Thaddeus]], and reveals that he is a communist.
** [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris calls out]] [[BlueSpike]], and demands that he 1) stop people from prank calling Chris and yelling "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris.
** [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.|Chris shows off his hand-me-down laptop]] given to him by a fan, and mentions that he upgraded it.
* 28 August 2011 - A Youtube user named "CWCvilleProductions" uploads a video featuring Chris. In it, [[Victory Rockout|Chris rocks out]] to a Skyrim remix while celebrating his victory over Thorg.
* 29 August 2011 - [[Response to ADF|Chris responds to Jack Thaddeus]] who revealed he was ADF. Chris reinforces his [[homophobia]] while stating he also likes lesbians.
* 30 August 2011 - [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Chris unmasks Alec Benson Leary]] a day before the deadline, who has not responded to Chris's Calling Out videos. Chris reveals that he is Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man on Youtube.
* 31 August 2011 - The deadline for Surfshack Tito, Thorg, and Alec Benson Leary to apologize to Chris.
* [[September 2011|6 September 2011]] - [[Bob]] dies of heart failure. Unfortunately, Chris's mourning put an abrupt end to the Calling Out videos, and possibly the Tomgirl Saga.
* 15 September 2011 - The deadline for BlueSpike to apologize to Chris. However, Chris did not unmask BlueSpike as he was still in mourning.

==See also==
* [[Tomgirl Pictures]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Calling Out]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Sagas]]
[[Category:Homos]]

I Love You, Catherine

2014-10-21T22:24:14Z

Demaster: unconfirmed if catherine is 2014 anonymous sweetheart

{{Articleofthenow}}

"'''I Love You, Catherine'''" is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]], by [[Chris]], on [[October 2014|4 October 2014]]. The video contains an apology to a [[Gal pal|girl]] named [[Catherine]], who is presumably the [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|mystery sweetheart]] Chris had posted about on [[Facebook]] in previous months. It should be noted that Chris is seen wearing [[Tomgirl|a skirt and stockings]] throughout the entirety of the video, while also sporting his old [[Manchester High School|high school]] sweatshirt. A woman's headband can be seen in his ever-thinning [[Hair|hairline]] throughout the entirety of the video, as well. He is also shown to be at his lowest point since [[CWC is Sad]], speaking with a low monotone and at parts almost tearing up.

It may not be entirely impossible that Chris is showing actual '''remorse''' here, instead of his [[Chris and remorse|usual bullshit]]. Either that, or this is just him being sad over getting close to losing some [[China|china]].

Note that the video has [[Chris and cinematography|the usual]] murky green tint as well as skips in the audio, despite Chris having gotten a better camcorder as shown in "[[Hello, my sweety baby]]". It is possible that the new camcorder was destroyed in [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the fire]] and his old [[PSEye]] was the only camera he was able to salvage.

==Description==

{{quotebox|I deepestly apologize to Catherine for the recent mistakes that I have made. I apologize to Colin for assuming him to be as bad as a rapist, as well as, more accurately, a womanizer who takes advantage. And I apologize to Shaina for getting her involved as a back-and-forth messenger, and I thank her for all that she has done there. And I most deeply thank Catherine for continuing to care about and love me, as I care for and love her very much. I still am learning about how to behave in an open relationship, and I promise to learn from my mistakes to become a better Lesbian Transgender Sweetheart and Partner for her and our future in our relationship together.

And to the Person ([[Troll]]) who has found the "[[Three-Quarter Woman]]" Mix CD, Please mail that back to me, well packaged and marked fragile, to my home address of 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968-9545, so I can return it directly to Catherine as soon as possible after having it returned. Thank You.}}

==Summary==
Being the first and currently only video (aside from [[Video games|Mario Kart 8]] playthroughs) uploaded by Chris in 2014, it seems to have been filmed in the [[Rental House|rental house]] Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] have been staying in, since the events of the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]]. The video primarily consists of Chris apologizing to his [[Catherine|latest partner]], whom he has apparently been in an open relationship with.

{{Infobox/video
| name = I Love You, Catherine
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tvMWpKKw8k4}}
| stardate = 4 [[October 2014]]
| subject = {{Galpals|[[Love]]}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}, {{Catherine|text}}
| previous = [[Hello, my sweety baby]]
}}

===Transcript===
''["[[wikipedia:Theme from A Summer Place|Theme from A Summer Place]]" playing in background]''

--is Christian Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]]. I'm recording this vid-video because I have... [[Chris and remorse|apologies to make]]. I...want to apologize to, uh... Shaina, who was...a good friend of mine - but not my s- girlfriend - uh, been helping me- been helping me out in relaying details and whatnot amongst, uh, my... sweetheart, another one of my gal-pals, and uh, uh ''[does his [[stress sigh]]]''... new... man of the hour. Anyway, um, alright, Shaina has been relaying messages on and off between me and, uh, uh... his name is Colin, and, uh, my sc-school gal-pal Rebecca who introduced me to Shayna in the first place. Anyway, I, uh, with my sweetheart, uh, everyone oughta know her by now who knows me, because they found the CD I gave her. Yeah, her name is Catherine. So, yeah, with that, uh, I would really appreciate having the CD sent back to me and I'll make sure she gets it 'cause it's the master copy, as well as the master print and handwriting in there, so I would really mu- appreciate getting that back.

Anyway, I've royally screwed up here, because, uh, while Catherine was in New York recently, for, uh, a bachelorette party of a friend of Shaina's, uh...''[deep swallow followed by sigh]'' sh-...yeah, uh, Colin asked her and Shaina asked her to go out for a sailboat ride. Uh, Shaina couldn't make it but Catherine went. They had a good ti- they had a fun time on the boat. Nothing else happened. Colin treated her with respect, and I'm guessing kept his distance, but definitely respected my sweetheart, and uh... I made assumptions because I did not know better and I had other fears in my mind as well. I had, uh, [[Noviophobia|assumed]] Colin was the type that would [[rape|take advantage]] of other women, and, uh... most importantly, Cat- my Catherine, and I had assumed from what he told me that, uh, it was kind of, uh, lackadaisical, and insincere. Would not take, uh, would not listen to me very seriously.

Anyway, I beg to put it into a pun, I've made an ass of myself by making so many assumptions. Anyway, it all turned out very bad, especially for, uh... Catherine... [[Chris and his ego|and me]]. I've just been feeling really bad about that. Uh... I'm sorry, Shaina, for putting you through the in-between people-- work-- luh, I appreciate you doing that very much. And Colin, I'm very sorry for all the [[JERKS|assumptions]] I made about you. I would like to think better of you as a person, and I... I trust you-- I am trusting you from the-- all that, yeah. And most importantly, I'm very sorry to my sweetheart Catherine. ''[Chris facepalms]'' I just... She's been going through a lot as well... she need- she needed a good time as well to get away from the bad things of life that's bothering her, but it's relevant to her father. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Anyway, Catherine, you mean the world to me, sweetheart, you really do, and.. I mean to treat you as a partner, I do. And I don't mean to treat you as a child, uh... I've been going under a lot of my own [[Stress|stresses]] lately. ''[Begins to tear up a little]'' Especially in response to everything, and I... ''[Chris facepalms again]'' I miss my father every day... Sigh.. It all hurts. My [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris and religion|soul]], they what to you, Catherine, they really-- I-I really do send my heart out so if you wanna keep it with you, keep my heart and soul as well. I love and I care about you so much and I respect you and I mean very well in my intentions. [[ShecameforCWC|Always]]. Even if they aren't the best impulses out of all that. [[White_Knight#Chris.27_life_would_still_be_a_disaster_even_if_the_trolls_never_bothered_him|I'm very sorry for all the mistakes I've made]]. ''[Chris facepalms a third time, then starts his godawful singing.]''

I can't stop [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|loving you]]~

Deep within my heart~

[[SingStar Challenge Round 5|I don't know all the lyrics]]~

So I'll just sing from the bottom of my heart~

And the depths of my soul~

''[Dramatic pause]''

I love you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Hello, my sweety baby]]|}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2014]]

Medallions

2014-10-17T21:20:18Z

Demaster: /* Angry Sonichu */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]]. (Seriously, watch the video; it's an example of [[tard rage]] at its finest).

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|housefire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. [[Magical Man|An unnamed individual]] appearing in the [[Magical Man Potion]] video was seen sporting the Asperchu medallion.
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>

====Angry Sonichu====
On September 30 Chris had stated he sent an "angry sonichu" medallion to a Mr. Smith who had made a "false" case against him
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].]]
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion was not seen for several months after Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do.

In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of him wearing a tiny paper medallion his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hasn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]], or at least sees it as an important part of his identity.

As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion was consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, in [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion was indeed destroyed in the fire.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
In [[September 2014]], Chris announced on his Facebook page that he would be making and selling replica Sonichu and Rosechu medallions for $30 each.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Medallions

2014-10-17T21:19:09Z

Demaster: /* Angry Sonichu */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]]. (Seriously, watch the video; it's an example of [[tard rage]] at its finest).

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|housefire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. [[Magical Man|An unnamed individual]] appearing in the [[Magical Man Potion]] video was seen sporting the Asperchu medallion.
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>

====Angry Sonichu====
On September 30 Chris had stated he sent an "angry sonichu" medallion to a Mr. Smith who made the "false" case against him
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].]]
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion was not seen for several months after Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do.

In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of him wearing a tiny paper medallion his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hasn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]], or at least sees it as an important part of his identity.

As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion was consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, in [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion was indeed destroyed in the fire.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
In [[September 2014]], Chris announced on his Facebook page that he would be making and selling replica Sonichu and Rosechu medallions for $30 each.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Medallions

2014-10-17T21:11:25Z

Demaster: /* The medallions */

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on|[[Chris]], describing his [[sex]] fantasy to [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#Two_Front_Teeth]]</ref>}}
[[Image:License.jpg|thumb|Oh yes he fucking did.]]
[[Image:ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|Top to bottom: [[PS3|The Good]], [[Hex Bawx|the Bad]], [[Chris and art|the Ugly]]. Left to right: The decoy Sonichu medallion, the [[Jiggliami]] medallion, the Rosechu medallion, and the [[Blake]] medallion.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] loves his original character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] so much that he sometimes wears a handmade Sonichu medallion on his neck. In public. He also calls them '''"medals"'''.<ref>[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]</ref><ref>"[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]"</ref><ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref><ref>[[Chris Chan Update 9 October 2008]]</ref>

The Sonichu medallion, along with his trademark [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]], is perhaps his most famous characteristic. Over the years, Chris has produced numerous medallions of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] characters. They're made from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint.]]

==Origins and purpose==
[[Image:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|thumb|Like anything else Chris holds dear, it also comes in card form.]]
[[Image:0608-CWCIs22.jpg|thumb|left|The earliest known photo of Chris with the medallion, from 24 February [[2004]], Chris's 22nd birthday. The medallion is in profile, with [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dinks]] hanging from its chain.]]
[[File:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|thumb|An art project that may have provided inspiration.]]

Though Chris previously could not recall when he first made the medallion, in [[August 2009]], Chris finally recalled the origins of the medallion. From [[CWCipedia]]:<ref name="Son cpedia">[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu]</ref>

{{quote|Then Late [[2000]], I bought some [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Model Magic Clay, and I molded and crafted the First Original Sonichu Medallion that I wore around my neck with a makeshift chain (which I later replaced with a better necklace I bought from [[Anna|Pacific Sunwear]] at my [[Mall]]). Sadly, the First Original was mistrusted with a [[Blanca Weiss|feindish individual]] in [[2008]], I recrafted the Medal and continued on (The Necklace Still Holds ALL the History of the Medallions). THERE IS CURRENTLY ONLY ONE Original, True Sonichu Medallion, and it is NOT MADE FROM [[CChanSonichuCWC|PAPER]] cheaply, NOT MANUFACTURED IN A FACTORY from Plastic or Metal (yet); IT IS MADE FROM CRAYOLA MODLE MAGIC CLAY, with my Permanent Ink Signature, Copyright Note, Circle of Originality, and Two Custom Shrinkie-Dink Charms of Sonichu and an [[S-Chu Ball]].}}

Although not explicitly stated as inspiration, the Medallion of Fail is similar in concept to the medallions worn by the main characters in ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Underground]]'', which originally aired a year beforehand.

Despite being allegedly created in March [[2000]], the earliest known photograph of Chris wearing a Sonichu medallion is from his twenty-second birthday, 24 February [[2004]]. In his [[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need a Cute Girl"]] video (20 December [[2004]]) he feels it necessary to explain what it is, suggesting that it is still a relatively new feature.

In a [[Mumble]] chat on 10 [[February 2009]], Chris revealed the reason for the medallion and that is... because he wanted to. It's "like a nametag" for him.<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> In one of his [[ED]] edits, Chris says that his medallion "identifies him for the [[autism|high-funcioning [''sic''] Autistic]] individual that he is."<ref><s>[http://encyclopediadramatica.es/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997315096&oldid=1997314465] Chris ED edit, Revision as of 07:28, 10 November 2007</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref> And man, it sure does. It has also been speculated there could be other reasons for wearing his medallion, which range from simply thinking Sonichu is '''SERIOUS BUSINESS''', to being a portable anchor in our dangerous real world to [[CWCville]], his own happy world where he's always the hero who saves the day.

Chris is somewhat aware that the medallions make him look like a crazy person: he reassured [[Kacey]] that he didn't wear one to his job interview at [[Target]] (of course, this interview almost certainly did not take place, but Chris was at least aware that wearing a yellow hedgehog's head around your neck is not socially normal).<ref>[[Kacey Call 21]]</ref>

Each medallion is constructed from [[Wikipedia:Crayola|Crayola]] Fuckin' Model Magic, a non-toxic, easy-to-use modeling clay intended for small children. Chris wedges a keyring into the edge of each medallion, from which he can attach a chain to go around his neck. Sometimes he wears a [[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]] wristband on top of it because, being autistic, he mostly likely has [[Wikipedia:Sensory_defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], which might render the sensation of the chain's links uncomfortable. Medallions are painted with acrylic paint in the color schemes of the characters they represent, with [[Chris and copyright|copyright information]] scrawled on the back. Additional detailing varies, but Chris is known to have applied [[Wikipedia:Shrinky Dinks|Shrinky Dink]] charms to certain medallions as a form of authentication, to prevent counterfeiting.

==The medallions==
===Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:0712-CWCCollGrad3.jpg|thumb|Chris even wore it at his goddamn [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation.]]
[[Image:FushionRedone.jpg|thumb|left|Before [[Blanca]], it was believed that the Medallion of Fail would corrupt its possessor, turning him into an autistic manchild with a poor taste in [[Chris and fashion|fashion]].]]
Chris's primary medal is his Sonichu medallion, which he has rarely been seen without for the past five years. This medallion of course depicts his main character, Sonichu. Within the canon of Chris's [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], the medallion is the source of the [[Anchuent powers]] that allow Chris to assume his Electric Hedgehog alter ego, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

As he explained to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] in his [[The Sonichu Chronicles|business proposal]], the medallion gives him no special powers in real life.

Chris has repeatedly claimed that in order for it to be a TRUE and HONEST video, it will be of him wearing the medallion. In this manner, he attempted to cast doubt on the videos he posted confessing [[homos]]exuality, since he was not wearing his medallion in that footage.

 

====Prototype====
{{quote|He was also wearing a makeshift necklace that has a large plastic medallion in the shape of a Pokeman [sic] characters [sic] head. He also had a number of shrinky dink decorations attached to this necklace.|Psychiatrist describing the prototype Medallion of Fail.<ref>[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM]]</ref>}}

[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|Earliest known version of the medallion.]]

[[Image:190-chumedal.jpg|thumb|left|Computer rendering. This required over 9,000 hours in MS Paint, as well as an associates degree in CAD/CAM.]]

It appears that the very first medallion Chris created is the one seen to the right, which Chris was photographed wearing sporadically in [[2004]]. This design is definitely cruder than the others, with a pale yellow hue suggesting Chris was still learning how to properly apply color in this medium. This version is always seen on a metal chain, accompanied by Shrinky Dinks of a "CWC" logo, [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the [[Chaotic Combo]].

Chris wore this medallion as late as May [[2004]], when he brought it with him to the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention that year. He would also wear this medallion later in the year, when he received a [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]].
 

====Mark 1 (and decoy)====
[[Image:Chrischan_sonichu_medal.jpg|150px|thumb|left|'''Spoiler:''' He even wears it during his sex fantasies.]]
[[Image:Decoy medallion.JPG|thumb|150px|The decoy medallion.]]

[[Image:SpecialSymbols.jpg|150px|thumb|left|The SPECIAL SYMBOLS to identify the TRUE and HONEST medallion.]]
[[Image:Terrifying by neodalion.jpg|150px|thumb|Chris's supposed reaction to the destruction of his medallion (artist's depiction).]]

By [[June 2005]] Chris had begun to wear what appeared to have been a new medallion. While Chris has claimed that the Sonichu medallion he sent to Blanca was the very first one he made,<ref name="Son cpedia" /> Mark 1 is clearly different from the prototype in that its tufts of fur on the sides of Sonichu's face were less pronounced and that it had a better paint job. There are no Shrinky Dinks to go with it, and instead of a chain it hangs from some sort of beaded necklace. The appearance of this version in pictures and videos seems to correspond with the introduction of Chris's red-and-blue striped shirts. This may be the medallion he was wearing in the [[So Need a Cute Girl|20 Dec 2004 video]]. It is definitely the medallion he wore to the [[2005]] Anime Mid-Atlantic convention.

No one is sure how many medallions Chris wore between 2005 and [[2008]], but in all pictures they appear roughly the same as this design. Sonichu's face has eyebrows in some photos and not in others, so either Chris was repainting the same medallion or making new ones. [[4chan]] and [[ED]] are filled with high-functioning [[autistic]]s who have pored over photographs identifying subtle differences in the medal's "ears" and "cheeks", without arriving at a consensus. For the sake of clarity, this article will assume that this was Chris's only medallion during this period.

In [[August 2008]], an anon on /v/ offered a story and photograph suggesting that he had met Chris in real life and tricked him into giving the medallion to him. However, anon aspies all immediately analyzed the details of dozens of pictures and determined the "stolen" medallion to be a forgery. This conclusion was reaffirmed when Chris himself decided to post [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|a video]] announcing that the medallion had never been stolen, defiantly claiming that nobody would take it from him. He also denied it in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]].

Chris claimed to have made multiple Sonichu medallions and that he would sometimes wear these decoys to frustrate attempts to steal the one true medallion. It would remain unclear whether he was bluffing until October [[2008]] when the team of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca Weiss]] tricked him into sending all of his medallions to them. The package they received contained no fewer than ''two'' yellow Sonichu medals: one with the special markings identifying it as the "real" one, and another with no markings. It may be assumed that these were the only two medallions he owned at that time. Neither of them was the prototype, however, and that one's fate is unclear.

A video that showed the destruction of the medallion was eventually uploaded to [[YouTube]]. Chris responded by [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]]. Its remains are currently locked in a box somewhere at [[Wikipedia:Miskatonic University| Miskatonic University]]. As for the decoy Sonichu medallion, it ultimately ended up in the possession of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s owner/webmaster, Girlvynl.

 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|bzlUoAOpiak}}</center>

 

====Mark 2====
[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|It identifies him for the high-functioning autistic individual that he is]]

After sending the medallions to Blanca, and being told by Blanca that trolls had stolen them from "her," Chris created a new Sonichu medallion with a slightly larger design. He posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|a video]] [[lie|explaining]] that Blanca had recovered the original one and sent it back to him, and that he had modified it. This new medallion boasted a special peg on the reverse side which could be used to hold Chris's [[high school ring]], which somehow made it copy-protected.

Assuming Chris did not create any backup medallions, this is the same one he wore while posing in [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]'s underwear at the request of [[troll]]s posing as [[Blanca]]. During this same exchange he later [[semen|ejaculated]] onto the medal. Shortly thereafter Chris posted [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|a new video]] in which he is visibly not wearing the medallion. It's unclear if he replaced this soiled medallion or if he cleaned it; in either case he was wearing it (or a similar duplicate) again by 27 October.

On 3 [[March 2009]], [[Max]] coerced Chris into cutting his medallion into pieces and shoving those pieces up his [[Wikipedia:Rectum|rectum]]. The idea of Chris literally inserting these chunks of ceramic into his rectum (and therefore risking anal tearing and sepsis) was highly controversial. Some have argued that he merely placed them between his buttcheeks (either in an attempt to deceive [[Max]] or out of ignorance of how to get them past his sphincter), but Chris himself has confirmed that he indeed inserted the shreds of the medallion into his ass and later on expelled them into the toilet.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> Chris thinks that [[Bob|his father]] would "have another heart attack" if he knew the details.

====Mark 3====
[[Image:New sonichu medallion.jpg|thumb|left|The first formal appearance of the Mark 3 medallion. It's like ''[[Wikipedia:The Blair Witch Project|The Blair Witch Project]]'', but only a few seconds long and the entire budget (and then some) spent on the crap on the background]]
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Oh God, the taste...]]

Although Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|claimed]] that he was making a new medallion, he didn't wear any medal in his [[YouTube]] videos between the 3 [[March 2009]] incident and his 1 [[July 2009]] videos. During this period he argued that his high school [[ring]] may be accepted as a symbol of his truthiness. However, since this statement was made without the medallion, this was false and Chris disproved himself.

In photos released 17 [[April 2009]] of Chris in some [[butt garments]], the new medallion, Mark 3, is shown as Chris licks it in a sensuous fashion. The release of these images proved doubly hurtful for Chris, not only for showing him, a shell of a manchild, in diapers but even worse in that it confirmed that there is a new Medallion that can either be seized and/or shoved up his rectum.

Despite the fact that he had made a new medallion, Chris was for some time reluctant to wear it in his videos, allegedly out of the fear that trolls would start a new campaign to seize the medallion and/or shove it up his rectum.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22 May 2009]] this medallion made a surprise cameo in Christian's newest video. During the update, the video randomly cuts to the medallion hanging from the ceiling, only to cut back to Chris seconds afterward, presumably to add extra validity to the statements made in Chris's video.

The [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1 July 2009]] videos mark the full return of the Medallion of Fail, as Chris wears the third medallion around his neck throughout both videos.

As of 2011, the medallion was hanging on his wall, as seen in the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video.

For several months in [[2014]], it was speculated that this medallion was destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, photos from [[July 2014]] confirmed that it was spared destruction.
 

===Rosechu medallion===
[[Image:Medallion Rosechu.jpg|thumb|left|A gift for his beloved sister-wife]]
[[Image:Rosechu medallion.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Only one medallion of Sonichu's [[sweetheart]] [[Rosechu]] is known to have existed, but it is speculated to be the first one Chris fashioned after the Sonichu one. The Rosechu medallion was intended to be worn by Chris's future [[heartsweet]], the one who would be his true love and bear him his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|God-called daughter]]. Chris has never been seen wearing it himself. It was sent with the others to Blanca in October 2008.

The medallion was first revealed to the Internet in the pages of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], where Chris's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|imaginary twin sister Crystal]] was introduced wearing it. In the comics Crystal possesses the same anchuent powers as Chris and the Rosechu medallion therefore allows her to become Crystalina Rosechu. That a real Rosechu medal existed was not learned until later, when Chris revealed it to [[PandaHalo]].

In case it hadn't occurred to you yet: Chris did, in real life, make a medal to be awarded to the future mother of his children, and in his fantasy world he has affixed this same medal to the twin sister he created to explore what he would be like if he'd been born female. Freud would doubtlessly have some choice words to say about this.

 

===Black Sonichu medallion===
[[Image:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|left|He's too angry to show his [[fangs]]]]
[[Image:Black sonichu.JPG|thumb|Close-up]]

Although Black Sonichu (now [[Blake]]) seems to have originally served as an analogue for [[Wes Iseli]],<ref>As seen in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - [[:File:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg]]</ref> Chris uses the Black Sonichu medallion to represent his own dark side, as he himself admits.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> The picture at the left speaks volumes about its significance; Chris seems to believe that if he scowls hard enough and wears the evil medallion, then whoever he's angry with will be terrified into capitulation, such as when he wore it in a [[CWC is Angry|video]] aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]]. (Seriously, watch the video; it's an example of [[tard rage]] at its finest).

The [[Anchuent Prophecy]] in the comics foretells that the Black Sonichu medallion would be created as a dark reflection of the original, yellow Sonichu medallion Chris wears. Beginning with [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] began wearing the dark medal and acting as Christian's evil twin, following the urges Chris himself keeps bottled up inside him. Like Christian, Naitsirhc summons powers from his medallion to become [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]].

Naitsirhc's medallion notwithstanding, Black Sonichu's role as the symbol of pure evil has softened in recent years as Chris has allowed the character to soften and fall in love with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. As such the actual Black Sonichu medallion was rarely seen until it was sent to Blanca in October [[2008]].
{{Clear}}

===Jiggliami medallion===
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Front_Scan.jpg|thumb|left|Baka Dana Watashi!]]
[[Image:Jiggliami_Medallion_Back_Scan.jpg|thumb|Back of the medallion.]]Despite the purpose of the Rosechu medallion, Chris was so in love with Blanca that he created a brand-new medallion for her to wear based on Blanca's original character [[Jiggliami]]. This medallion was sent along with the others to Blanca in October 2008. Blanca was depicted wearing this medallion in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]]. It was sent to the now-former admin of the [[/cwc/]] imageboard and currently resides in a holding facility somewhere in California.

It is the simplest of the medallions, being a plain circle with no three-dimensional pieces. Consequently, it's probably the least hideous of the medallions, as Chris has limited the number of ways he can fail by giving himself less work to do.

===Asperchu Medallion===
[[Image:As.PNG|thumb|The Medallion of Win in all its glory]]

In [[Magical Man Potion|one video]], Chris's mysterious friend is seen sporting an odd medallion. In [[02 March 2010|another video]] a few days later, the medallion was confirmed to be one of [[Asperchu]]. Apparently, it was crafted by [[Alec Benson Leary]] and given to Chris as a symbol of goodwill. In that video, Chris is pained to have the medallion around and have it hung up on his wall. The medal still hung on Chris's wall until the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|housefire]] of January 2014, covered by the box Alec sent it in so Chris wouldn't get stressed by having to look at it. The box was seen hanging open in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]]: what this means is best not thought about. [[Magical Man|An unnamed individual]] appearing in the [[Magical Man Potion]] video was seen sporting the Asperchu medallion.
Chris wears the medallion while impersonating Alec Benson Leary in his video [[100 2270]].

On 2 [[August 2014]] Chris confirmed that this medallion has been destroyed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in his house on 10 [[January 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Fan items lost in the fire]]</ref>

====Angry Sonichu====
On September 30 kickstarter suspended Chris's project to fund the creation of a lego CWCville Shopping Center citing it violated their rules. Chris had stated he sent an "angry sonichu" medallion to a Mr. Smith who made the "false" claim against him
{{clear}}

==Obtaining medallions==
[[Image:Abused cat.jpg|thumb|Poor kitty...]]

Since the discovery of Chris on [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], it had been understood among trolls that the Sonichu medallion was Chris's most cherished possession and that he would cry like a bitch if it were ever taken from him, making its capture a prime objective. This proved only partially true when it was inevitably stolen. Chris does not seem to have a special attachment to any one particular medallion, but merely his ability to always wear one at all times. Further, all successful efforts to eliminate the medallions have resulted in relatively little outrage; Chris is always more concerned with his Internet girlfriends being fake than he is over losing his property because of them. Currently, there are only 2 medallions that have not been obtained by trolls or shoved up Chris's ass.

===Medallions obtained by [[Blanca Weiss]]===
*Sonichu v.1
*Sonichu Decoy
*Rosechu
*Black Sonichu
*Jiggliami
 
<center>{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}</center>
 

===Destroyed by Chris===
*Sonichu v.2

===Destroyed in the 14BC Fire===
*Asperchu

===Still in Chris's Possession===
*Sonichu v.3

==Gone forever?==
[[File:133696094632.jpg|thumb|Appearance from 11 [[November 2010]].]]
[[File:Chris Lego.jpg|thumb|YOUR MEDAL IS MADE OUT OF '''PAPER'''!]]

Chris was believed to have abandoned his medallions in [[2010]], but then was seen wearing one on 6 [[September 2010]] in [[Haters gonna hate.mov]]. He also wore the [[Sonichu]] medallion in a photo dated 11 [[November 2010]] (leaked on 13 [[May 2012]]). However, the medallion was not seen for several months after Chris started wearing his "Tomgirl" attire (failing to appear in either the original [[Tomgirl Pictures]] or the [[Calling Out]] videos), suggesting that at the very least Chris wears it much less than he used to do.

In [[November 2012]], Chris made a Kreo (off brand [[Lego]] sets made by [[Transformers|Hasbro]]) edition of him wearing a tiny paper medallion his [[Facebook]] image, suggesting that Chris hasn't totally given up on [[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]], or at least sees it as an important part of his identity.

As noted previously in this article, it was speculated that the third Sonichu medallion was consumed by the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] which broke out in Chris's house on 10 [[January 2014]]. However, in [[July 2014]], Chris sold several [[Autographed Photos|autographed photos of himself]] on [[eBay]], and some buyers requested that he wear the Sonichu medallion. The photos which they received confirmed that the Sonichu v.3 medallion had indeed survived the fire,<ref>[[:File:Received_autographed_photos_-_5_Jul_2014.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Chris with medallion - July 2014.jpg]]</ref> but Chris later confirmed that the Asperchu medallion was indeed destroyed in the fire.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>

==The medallion goes mass-market==
In [[September 2014]], Chris announced on his Facebook page that he would be making and selling replica Sonichu and Rosechu medallions for $30 each.

==See also==
*[[Amnyfest Ring]], another source of Chris's power

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Talk:Medallions

2014-10-14T20:35:02Z

Demaster: /* September 30 Angry Medallion */

==To do==
Find out exactly how Chris makes the medallions. I believe in a Mumble chat he explained how he uses Elmer's Glue to coat it, and uses regular paint to brighten the colors, but finding what exactly he uses would be great as well. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:27, 26 September 2009 (CEST)

== "Top to bottom: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly." ==

Uh, what? --[[User:Sonicow|Sonicow]] 01:03, 14 November 2009 (CET)
:I'm guessing it's because center is a HEX BAWX controller, which Chris hates, hence "bad". [[User:Xentrilus|xontrolos]] 01:43, 14 November 2009 (CET)
::Also it's bright pink. I mean for fuck's sake why? [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 15:56, 21 November 2009 (CET)

== Where are they now? ==

incase anyone was wondering --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 23:25, 1 December 2009 (CET)

From youtube:

{{quote|BTW, did you destroy ALL Chris-Chan's medallions? If so, I'd gladly buy one from you.|[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]]}}

{{quote|No, they aren't all destroyed. As of now, Fake Sonichu is going to GV from ED, destroyed sonichu is going to a Gentlemen that requested it, the letter and jiggiami or what ever are going to a fine Gentlemen from CWCki, Rosechu is being saved for the return of Blanca, and Blake shall remain mine until I return to Germany to tear it apart and leave the pieces in Nuremberg|Ickeriss69}}
*Could you please add all this info to the article? It's interesting --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 23:38, 1 December 2009 (CET)
:*idk its not really all that relevant at this point. I just cuntpasted Ickeriss's convo with Ed here so you guys would have a rough idea as to the fate of the medallions of fail. I'm the individual recieving the Jiggliami medallion and Blanca letter btw. I'll post pics when these two troll relics arrive. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 14:25, 3 December 2009 (CET)
:: *I'd like to add that I got the jiggliami medallion and Chris's letter to Blanca in the mail today. Here's the pics as proof --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 23:02, 9 December 2009 (CET)
::Return of Blanca? I thought Rosechu was going to Nurse Icky-chan. Really, she should go to the guy pretending to be Chrissy's gay lover at the moment.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:33, 10 December 2009 (CET)
:::Ickeriss was indeed referring to Icky-chan when he mentioned the "return of Blanca", her being the "female" component of Blanca & all. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 07:47, 11 December 2009 (CET)

<gallery>
Image:medallionbox1.jpg|The Ark of the Covenant
Image:medallionbox2.jpg|The Ark, again.
Image:medallionandletter.jpg|The Jiggliami medallion and the letter to Blanca
Image:letter1.jpg|The ancient text, Chris's letter to [[Blanca]].
Image:letter2.jpg|Closeup part 1
Image:letter3.jpg|Closeup part 2
</gallery>

* Thoughts going through Chris's head: "Gee, I can't believe I'm sending a package to Blanca's Grandmother and Aunt. Now to put 'Testicules' as the sender. This is ''not at all'' unusual." Or was that part of the Cunning Pickle-Trick Plan, too? --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 00:15, 10 December 2009 (CET)
:*No, I think that was the pic sent to Anon after he requested the medallion, not from Chris himself. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:55, 11 December 2009 (CET)
::*ja, that is indeed the case. Though from what I recall, I had first approached Ickeriss regarding a semi-unrelated matter and the subject of the medallions just happened to come up and, well, here we are now. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 08:52, 11 December 2009 (CET)

==Asperchu Medallion==

<s>Wait, it says in the article that Alec made the Asperchu medallion, but the pic states that Chris made it, anybody know which it is? </s>[[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 22:17, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
*DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!!! The picture in question, is a picture of the back of the Jiggliami medallion. My bad [[User:Magic8Ball|Magic8Ball]] 22:21, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

== Autistic video ==

I have it and will re-upload it to a sock account soon. It got flagged and taken down because Ickypoo is a [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Ickeriss69 gigantic faggot] who ironically, is pretty similar to Chris. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 01:22, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

== Would this video be appropriate to put in this article? ==
I saw this on the ED page for Ickeriss69 showing exactly which medallions were obtained by him. Would it be alright to put this into the main article? I think it'll work since it shows all the medallions that were obtained by Bianca. [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 18:39, 1 April 2011 (PDT)
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|A0H7bXHEa58}}
</center>
:I don't have a problem with putting it in, really. I guess the only complaint someone could have is that there are already screencaps of the medallions on the page, but I don't think having the video as well really affects anything. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] [[User_talk:Freecell|(t]]/[[Special:Contributions/Freecell|c)]] 19:48, 1 April 2011 (PDT)

== The Sonic Comic ==

Being a reader of Archie Sonic, I have to let you guys know that image is from Fleetway's "Sonic the Comic." It's obvious that he reads Archie's "Sonic the Hedgehog", but some autistic kid in virginia knowing about a British comic's existence in the 90s? I find that hard to believe.[[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 15:23, 2 February 2012 (PST)

: I removed that segment. There's nothing in the history of trolling Chris that has shown that he even knows of Fleetway's comic. If we want to be factual about things, we need to see if Chris actually read Fleetway's sonic comic. [[User:Double Nega|Double Nega]] 13:17, 5 February 2012 (PST)

== September 30 Angry Medallion ==

Think we should add something about the "angry sonichu medallion" ?-- [[User:demaster|Demaster]] 16:33, 14 October 2014 (EST)

Talk:Medallions

2014-10-14T20:33:39Z

Demaster: /* September 30 Angry Medallion */ new section

User:Demaster

2014-10-12T19:08:23Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{agnostic}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

{{Troper}}

User:Demaster

2014-10-12T19:04:13Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Virgin with rage}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{agnostic}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

User:Demaster

2014-10-12T19:00:33Z

Demaster:

PINGAS

{{Americunt}}

{{weeaboo}}

{{JERK}}

{{PS3}}

{{Wii}}

{{Observer}}

{{Armchair Psychologist}}

{{agnostic}}

{{GrammarNazi}}

Chris and reality

2014-10-10T21:04:04Z

Demaster:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her father]]. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon if he's the one doing it, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of [[autism]], which leaves the sufferer with no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. This explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before [[stress|crashing into slumber]], also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals' destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]," which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|right|The "vaccine" in question.]]

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on the 28th of April, 2012, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris's understanding of the sciences as a part of reality (in this case, medicine and physics), is weak at best, pathetic at worst. Having graduated from both [[Manchester High School|high school]] and [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]], it's rather disturbing to note that Chris has retained little to nothing from either one, aside from the [[Gal-pals|overly-attached nostalgia]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|paranoid delusions]]. To note an example, in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]], Chris created a '[[Homo|gay]]-vaccine' made from his own blood, as to "cure" gay and asexual people world-wide. Aside from being a clear violation of even the most basic human rights, it's also a hilariously [[Naive|ignorant]] understanding of modern medicine. For one, vaccines use a small sample of the original disease and reintroduce it to the body, as to buff the immune system's response to said disease. In this case, Chris is using his 'straight blood' as the vaccination sample, implying that in fact, Chris is reintroducing the 'homo disease' back into the patient. If Chris was worried as being labelled a 'homo' before, he's certainly dug his own grave, here. As for using the vaccine in the 'water supplies', this is rather lacking of understanding, too. For a vaccine to be used in fresh water sources is incredibly off-base; most all waterways use decontamination centers for the water used, not to mention the fact that introducing a vaccine orally is one of the weakest way to fight off disease. This is, of course, without addressing the fact that being gay isn't a disease and therefore doesn't need a treatment or a cure. Another example being the time travel sequence in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], in which Chris tried to explain his sci-fi pseudo-science. To be fair, time travel is a very general pseudo-science, used in almost any medium of entertainment; in this case, Chris, [[Sonichu]], and [[Magi-Chan]] traveled back in time using Magi-Chan's psychic powers, in order to retrieve one of the [[Chaotic Crystals]]. During said time travel sequence, Chris had a rather lengthy conversation with Sonichu over the topic, using [[Futurama|a sci-fi cartoon]] as a justification as to why it would be 'possible'. In reality, this is a concept just as real as space aliens from Mars or evil robots from the future. If Chris had an even basic understanding of time, space, and the theory of relativity (which are all covered in the public school system), he might have withdrawn these comments trying to rationalize a comic book about [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|magic humanoid hedgehogs]] and [[CWCville|imaginary cities]].

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. He believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]].

Particularly troubling are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims that she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father's ghost]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris's own making - and can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-10-07T20:39:47Z

Demaster:

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:Mystery Woman 2014.jpg|thumbnail|right|Probable depiction.]]
In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he has found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other_documents#Items_sent_by_Chris_to_a_CWCki_Forums_member]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 [[July 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Life events]]</ref>

On 5 [[September 2014]] Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref> As of the time of writing, very little is known about this woman and her motives for being in contact with Chris. Hell, for all we know she could be [[Chloe|completely fictional]], or even [[Megan Schroeder|just]] [[The Wallflower|another]] [[Tiffany Gowen|unlucky]] [[gal pal|gal-pal]] that Chris has taken [[Chris and sex|a bit too much]] [[China|interest]] in.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|September 11th]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

On 16 September, Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing]] to his [[Duck|prostate region]], where his apparent '[[China|clit]]' would be, [[Tomgirl|if he had one]].<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> Whether Chris's most recent sweetheart has any knowledge of this (if any knowledge of his being a transgender individual at all), has yet to be seen.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a [[Three-Quarter Woman|CD]] for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] - [[Chris and his Ego|has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her]].

On 4 October, Chris uploaded a video entitled [[I Love You, Catherine]], revealing the name of this woman to be Catherine. The video description Chris wrote indicates that he might be in an open relationship with her. It also indicates a falling out involving a [[JERK|man]] named Colin in New York taking her out on a boat ride, likely due to Chris's jealousy and irrational hatred of men. In the description states he will "become a better [[Homo|Lesbian]] [[Tomgirl|Transgender]] Sweetheart and Partner" Implying that she may have some knowledge of Chris's [[tomgirl]] tendencies.

==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-10-07T20:30:07Z

Demaster:

{{Ongoing}}
[[File:Mystery Woman 2014.jpg|thumbnail|right|Probable depiction.]]
In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he has found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other_documents#Items_sent_by_Chris_to_a_CWCki_Forums_member]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On the same day he also changed his Facebook relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship". According to the status change the relationship began on 9 [[July 2014]].<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Life events]]</ref>

On 5 [[September 2014]] Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref> As of the time of writing, very little is known about this woman and her motives for being in contact with Chris. Hell, for all we know she could be [[Chloe|completely fictional]], or even [[Megan Schroeder|just]] [[The Wallflower|another]] [[Tiffany Gowen|unlucky]] [[gal pal|gal-pal]] that Chris has taken [[Chris and sex|a bit too much]] [[China|interest]] in.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|September 11th]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

On 16 September, Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing]] to his [[Duck|prostate region]], where his apparent '[[China|clit]]' would be, [[Tomgirl|if he had one]].<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> Whether Chris's most recent sweetheart has any knowledge of this (if any knowledge of his being a transgender individual at all), has yet to be seen.

On 20 September, Chris began with his usual displays of sycophancy, making a [[Three-Quarter Woman|CD]] for his beloved, that - much like one he once made for [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] - [[Chris and his Ego|has everything to do with himself and nothing do with her]].

On 4 October, Chris uploaded a video entitled [[I Love You, Catherine]], revealing the name of this woman to be Catherine. The video description Chris wrote indicates that he might be in an open relationship with her. It also implys a falling out involving a man named Colin in New York taking her out on a boat ride, likely due to Chris's jealousy and irrational hatred of men

==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Hair

2014-10-05T23:57:05Z

Demaster:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedofork|pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was bald as well. However, [[Chris and Health|inactivity]], [[Obesity|poor]] [[McDonalds|diet]], illness, and stress are well known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness - when male-pattern baldness starts as early as it does with Chris, you will tend to end up with much less hair in the end; which does not bode well for Chris's [[tomgirl]] dreams.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]) [[Chris and his Ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like in the 'near future'.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|With his makeup, [[Chris and fashion|second-hand stripy shirt]] and poorly managed hair, Chris ends up looking more like a [[Obesity|fat]] clown than a woman]]
[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|Chris with shoulder length hair.]]
[[File:Hemanchristian.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl of Eternia]]

Since becoming a [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]], Chris has let his hair grow out and has seemingly attempted to color it blonde. This was likely not done by a professional stylist, because his new hair color is a hideous urine yellow. In some photos, such as the one he took at Salvation Army, the darker roots are visible through his extremely thin hair. It also appears that Chris's hair is naturally curly or wavy when he lets it grow long. Another possibility is that he curls his hair with a curling iron, although Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen. An [[October 2012]] [[Facebook]] profile picture revealed Chris has grown his hair shoulder length.

In [[May 2011]], Barb forced Chris to have his hair cut. This resulted in Chris calling Barb a bitch. Chris saved the hair and wore it around his neck in hopes it would grow back faster. <ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_26]]</ref>

{{quote| This was supposed to be the Year of Me; I was making Best Social Progress with the [[Wikipedia: Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] hairstyle, with Better Self-Confidence; Gone in a snip snip snip of my mother's claws. I also have retrieved the hair clippings shortly after the tragedy, gathered them in a clump, wrapped the clump in a plastic wrap, put it in a plush, satin-like baggie, attached a necklace to it, and [[Chris and religion|I am wearing my clippings as a Charm to prayfully promote quicker hair growth and recovery.]]|Chris, thinking that a 1970s woman's hairstyle helps you get [[China|friends]].}}

Pictures Chris has posted in 2014 show his hairline has receded even further, and his hair is even more poorly managed as it was 3 years ago - looking even more thin, wispy and unkempt, if that's possible. The fact that he appears to have tried dying it blonde again only makes it look worse. Needless to say, his tomgirl persona is far from being as sexy [[Chris and reality|as he thinks it is]].

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Trolls|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service ([[Chris and race#Hispanics|insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here]]), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the [[Spanish]] side has [[Chris and race|Sonichu in a sombrero]].

==Gallery of hair==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Hair

2014-10-05T23:54:29Z

Demaster:

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

Already in atrocious physical condition for someone his age, Chris's baldness has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedofork|pedophile]] and/or fat, old lesbian. His refusal to regularly bathe, which leaves his hair greasy and unmanageable, and his occasional attempts at crafting a combover haven't helped matters.

A popular theory amongst [[trolls]] proposes that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through. More likely, though, Chris just drew an unlucky ticket in the genetic lottery. Photos of his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] show that Cole lost his hair up front relatively early in life as well, and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] was bald as well. However, [[Chris and Health|inactivity]], [[McDonalds|poor diet]], illness, and stress are well known to accelerate the balding process. In addition, there is a strong correlation between the man's age with the eventual extent of the baldness - when male-pattern baldness starts as early as it does with Chris, you will tend to end up with much less hair in the end; which does not bode well for Chris's [[tomgirl]] dreams.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks his hair looks just fine. During the first [[Kacey Phone Call]], he enthusiastically (while pretending to be [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]) [[Chris and his Ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh... I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like in the 'near future'.]]

When confronted in the [[Mailbag]] ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

In videos taken of Chris at a [[Fridays After Five]] event, a bald spot is seen starting to appear on the back of his head.

[[File:TG9.jpg|thumb|With his makeup, [[Chris and fashion|second-hand stripy shirt]] and poorly managed hair, Chris ends up looking more like a [[Obesity|fat]] clown than a woman]]
[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|Chris with shoulder length hair.]]
[[File:Hemanchristian.jpg|thumb|Tomgirl of Eternia]]

Since becoming a [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]], Chris has let his hair grow out and has seemingly attempted to color it blonde. This was likely not done by a professional stylist, because his new hair color is a hideous urine yellow. In some photos, such as the one he took at Salvation Army, the darker roots are visible through his extremely thin hair. It also appears that Chris's hair is naturally curly or wavy when he lets it grow long. Another possibility is that he curls his hair with a curling iron, although Chris is far too lax in his personal grooming for that type of styling regimen. An [[October 2012]] [[Facebook]] profile picture revealed Chris has grown his hair shoulder length.

In [[May 2011]], Barb forced Chris to have his hair cut. This resulted in Chris calling Barb a bitch. Chris saved the hair and wore it around his neck in hopes it would grow back faster. <ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_26]]</ref>

{{quote| This was supposed to be the Year of Me; I was making Best Social Progress with the [[Wikipedia: Mary Tyler Moore|Mary Tyler Moore]] hairstyle, with Better Self-Confidence; Gone in a snip snip snip of my mother's claws. I also have retrieved the hair clippings shortly after the tragedy, gathered them in a clump, wrapped the clump in a plastic wrap, put it in a plush, satin-like baggie, attached a necklace to it, and [[Chris and religion|I am wearing my clippings as a Charm to prayfully promote quicker hair growth and recovery.]]|Chris, thinking that a 1970s woman's hairstyle helps you get [[China|friends]].}}

Pictures Chris has posted in 2014 show his hairline has receded even further, and his hair is even more poorly managed as it was 3 years ago - looking even more thin, wispy and unkempt, if that's possible. The fact that he appears to have tried dying it blonde again only makes it look worse. Needless to say, his tomgirl persona is far from being as sexy [[Chris and reality|as he thinks it is]].

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady ([[Trolls|or a dude pretending to be one]]), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big [[China|C]] himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service ([[Chris and race#Hispanics|insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here]]), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. Evidently, Chris's hair is so filthy, the Mexican postal service, which regularly "unknowingly" ships countless pounds of cocaine, marijuana, and other illegal narcotics per year, had trouble dealing with this biohazard. Fortunately, this violation of [http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode06/usc_sec_06_00001203----000-.html United States Code: Title 16, Chapter 4, SubChapter IV, § 1203 (a)(4-7)] did not cause any national or international incidents.

While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the [[Spanish]] side has [[Chris and race|Sonichu in a sombrero]].

==Gallery of hair==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire collection of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it was his.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]
*[[HairDifference]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Christopher's name change

2014-09-28T22:02:58Z

Demaster: /* Leonard Bearstein */

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|"I am GodBear Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. Then I will make [[Anchuent Prophecy|my covenant]] between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers." Christopher fell facedown, and the Bear said to him, "As for me, this is my covenant with you: No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for you will be the father of [[CWCville|many nations]]."]]
::''"Christopher" redirects here. For the troll named Christopher, see [[Asperchu]].''
At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed the following year. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

==Leonard Bearstein==

Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein," an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra ([[wikipedia:Leonard Bernstein|I see what you did there]]) is still in operation to this day, running shows in North Carolina, Virginia, and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]</ref><ref>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065 Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at the [[wikipedia:Regency Square|Regency Square]] shopping mall. Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to the Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling]] [[slow in the mind|retard]] was talking to a man over a microphone built into a robot bear.<ref name="a">[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

[[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but had pussied out (although what he was afraid of remains unclear).<ref name="a" /><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher?]]
As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story--at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[troll|trolls']] first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler," but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This of course missed the point that [[Liquid|CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[God]] and the bear has given me throughout my whole life.|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bearstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC]] dedication special, Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[Homos|gay]] [[pedofork|pedophile]] [[anime]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher".<ref>[[:File:Recent Activity.jpg]]</ref> However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref> He also tried it on [[Kacey]], but she didn't bite.<ref>[[Kacey Call 6]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too;
strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Trolls|Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants here]]. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared, beware Raptor Jesus
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png
Image:GODBEARStrip.png|The TRUE and HONEST event. (Artist's Impression)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]
*[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[http://www.regencysquaremall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

[[Category:Events]]

Transgender

2014-09-26T15:50:36Z

Demaster: /* Prologue */ link to unclit

{{Quote|Yes, I am a Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be a full-blown you-know-what. ''[...]'' I have been more self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts, and I am greeting women left and right.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>}}
[[File:TG11.jpg|thumb|Chris during the Tomgirl Saga]]
[[File:Frickinlove1.jpg|thumb|Chris's ultimate dream - meeting a tomboy just like him]]
[[File:Tomboygirl.jpg|thumb|Chris's other dream]]
The '''Tomgirl Saga''' was the eighteenth [[saga]] in [[Chris]]'s life. After being suggested that he get in touch with his feminine side, Chris became a "[[tomgirl]]", dressing in women's clothes and putting on makeup. The [[Calling Out]] videos are generally included as part of this saga.

It's possible that Chris came up with the term from Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill, where he says that being a transvestite is the same as being a male tomboy, though this is not confirmed.

==Summary==
{{quote|Also, here is another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her
clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them
for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie. ;|Chris, Jackie email, May 6 2011<ref name="Jackie24" />}}

===Prologue===
According to an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]] on 26 [[March 2011]], Chris started cross-dressing at the beginning of that month.<ref name="Jackie24">[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> At the end of that month Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl". This was the first sign of the Tomgirl Saga, and caused much speculation among people following Chris. What exactly this quote meant, however, would not be answered until the end of [[April 2011|April]].

On 29 April, the [[Tomgirl Pictures]] were released by [[Surfshack Tito]]. In them, Chris is dressed in woman's clothing, posing in, at least what he believes are, seductive positions. This marked the official beginning of the Tomgirl Saga, as well as finally revealing what his previous PSN quote meant. For some reason, Chris removed the Tomgirl PSN quote immediately after PSN came back online after a month of inactivity, possibly due to receiving attention from [[trolls]].

<center>{{Collapsible|Tomgirl pictures|<gallery>
File:TG2.jpg|Tomgirl car in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:TG3.jpg|Chris previously drew on the [[Charlottesville]] Free Speech Wall in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]].
File:TG4.jpg
File:TG5.jpg|Chris matched the color of his [[Amnyfest Ring|high school ring]] with his new pair of sandals.
File:TG6.jpg
File:TG7.jpg|Left ear buccaneer, right ear [[Homos|queer]].
File:TG8.jpg|Not the first time that Chris has covered his face in [[pickle]]s and [[Semen|white goo.]] Also, he's using the [[Plush Breasts]] as a pillow.
File:TG9.jpg|You just know this picture will be used in the paper when Chris finally kills [[Michael Snyder|someone]].
File:TG10.jpg|Not even white knights can say anything to defend this...
File:TG11.jpg
File:TG12.jpg
File:TG13.jpg|DAT ASS
File:TG14.jpg
File:TG15.jpg|[[Barbara|Barb 2.0]]
File:TG16.jpg
File:TG17.jpg|He made himself into a sweetheart from the ground-up.
File:TG18.jpg|GOODBYE HORSES
File:TG19.jpg
File:TG20.jpg|The PlayStation Move SharpShooter doesn't make the look any manlier.
File:TG21.jpg
File:TG22.jpg
File:TG23.jpg
File:TG24.jpg|Note the [[Medallions_of_Fail#The_Asperchu_Medallion_.28a.k.a._The_Medallion_of_Win.3F.29|Asperchu Medallion]] at top right.
File:TG25.jpg
File:TG26.jpg
File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|Chris's [[Facebook]] pic of July 2011, with Tomgirl earrings
File:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|A random PS3 Home avatar which in no way reminds us of Chris. Good thing they put the usernames there.
File:Chris 09.jpg|In September, Chris was spotted at [[Wal-Mart]]. Note the purse.
</gallery>}}
</center>

Barb was not happy, making negative remarks, such as, "do not wear eye shadow," "you look like [[Carlos Chantor|a prostitute]]," "lipstick makes you look like a hooker," "you're turning into a [[homos|gay]]," "[[Un-clit|what are you piercing next?]]" and "what's next, you wearing a skirt and high heels?"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>

===Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia===
[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|left|thumb|Chris' TAToV avatar, used while posting as KookyDashy]]
In late May, Chris discovered the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum. The forum was dedicated to tomboys and tomgirls living in Virginia who wish to discuss their lives. Chris joined under the username [[My Little Pony|Kookydashy]], marking a midpoint in the saga.

In the posts Chris made, he mostly talked about himself and his tomgirl antics. Chris revealed that he had [[Homos|come out]] to his parents, only to receive insults from them. [[Barb]], in particular, has kept complaining about his new attire, and [[Bob]], according to Chris, "threw the damned fag card" at him. Chris also recounts a story in which he went to the lady's restroom because he "started feeling discomfort in using the Men's restroom." However, a [[jerkop]] caught him and yelled at him for going to the women's restroom; Chris proceeded to ignore him and continue using the women's restroom.

Later posts Chris made mention his online trolling, practically saying everything but "I am Christian Weston Chandler." According to Chris, socializing online makes people more [[autistic]], and people should socialize offline. Chris also became paranoid of being trolled even on these forums, leading him to accuse a tomboy looking for a tomgirl of being a troll. For a month, Chris didn't post at the forums.

A month later, [[Thorg]] discovered the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and made an article about it on the [[CWCki]]. Chris noticed this quickly, and alerted his fellow tomboys and tomgirls a day later. Chris admitted that he is Christian Weston Chandler. Chris complained about the trolls, and said that he is not a bad person, despite what the CWCki said. The other posters promised to help Chris defeat the trolls. After this, the forums became defunct, as the tomboys and tomgirls helped Chris find a way to get revenge.

===Calling Out===
[[File:CWC0811.PNG|thumb|Chris during the Calling Out videos]]
In August, Chris makes his return to Youtube. After planning with his fellow tomboys and tomgirls, he has obtained dox on all of his trolls. From here, Chris makes a series of videos calling out various trolls.

Chris first calls out Surfshack Tito, and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris. Surfshack Tito replied a few days later, meeting Chris's demands.

The next troll called out was Thorg. Chris demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris. Unlike Tito, Thorg did not take Chris seriously. Chris re-calls out Thorg, and eventually unmasks him as Jeremy Slonwhite, a fat, nerdy atheist living in Canada.

Chris then calls out [[Jack Thaddeus]], and simply demands that he apologize to Chris. However, Jack Thaddeus unmasked himself, revealing that he is ADF, another lolcow. Chris responds by mocking him and his communist views.

Later, Chris calls out [[Alec Benson Leary]], and demands that he apologize to Chris. Alec Benson Leary did not respond to Chris's [[Calling Out]] video, so Chris unmasked him as Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man who eats food on Youtube.

Finally, Chris called out [[BlueSpike]], and demanded that he 1) stop people from prank calling him and screaming "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris. BlueSpike did not respond, but Chris did not unmask him because tragedy had hit his family.

===Epilogue?===
On [[September 2011|6 September 2011]], [[Bob]] passed away from heart failure. This brought the public events of Tomgirl Saga to a relatively abrupt end, as Chris was in mourning and apparently too depressed to make more videos. BlueSpike's deadline to respond to Chris passed without Chris unmasking him. Only a few pictures of tomgirl Chris have emerged since then.

However, this major life event did not dissuade Chris from being a tomgirl. 3 years later, according to his latest [[OkCupid]] profile, he stated "I would cross dress more often if my mother was not against me doing it (panties and bra included, but wear them anyway)."

===Chris the Homo?===
On 14 August [[2014]], Chris [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|revealed]] via [[Facebook]] that he is a self-described "Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser", claiming shortly afterward to be a lesbian in a male body. He also proclaimed that he is a supporter of "LBT" rights, which seems to have neatly coincided with the advent of his professed status as a trans person. His omission of the "G" (Gay) was attacked by Kim, in the face of which Chris admitted that the [[Homos|"G.M.s"]] were "fortunate" to be "on the boat", suggesting that he despises gay men as much as ever.

===Evidence of Legitimate Transsexualism===
Almost none. Though he has extolled wearing a bra for years, he staunchly claimed that he was a man at the time — and still is bizarrely claiming to be a "lesbian identified male" rather than adopting a female identity. His hatred of all [[Pickle|pickles]] rather than just his own suggests issues about sexual insecurity rather than gender insecurity, and his total non-acceptance of LGBT people until now is another nail in the coffin.

===Possible Reasons for the Tomgirl Turn===

Most may wonder why Chris, after so many years of preaching against this type of behaviour, would turn around and dress like a woman, especially since it adds fuel to the fire that he might be [[Homos|homosexual]], a term he outright hates. There are a few theories:

* As [[Clyde Cash]] pointed out, it could be a latent desire he's been in denial over for years and only now beginning to embrace.
* Some suggested that he received advice about "getting in touch with his feminine side" and Chris [[Autism|took it literally]].
* As evidenced by [[Women's rights|his past behaviour towards women]] and his recent bragging about using the female restroom, he could be doing it as an excuse to peep on women using them. While it's also likely he's doing it to avoid seeing other men's [[Duck|ducks]], but when you consider that he once suggested to trolls that he go and rape his guidance counselor, would you really put it past him?
* It could be a bizarre, roundabout solution to the cognitive dissonance that no doubt comes with Chris's increasingly often demonstrated [[JERKS|hatred of his own gender]]. As opposed to, you know, abandoning his hatred of men and admitting to himself that he only ever hated them because [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor|he's]] [[Liquid Chris|jealous]] and too immature to deal with jealousy properly.
*Also, as shown by [[PlayingHouse| his very strange, childish, and lazy fantasy]] of what married life would be like for him, Chris obviously does not want to have to be the spouse who provides for the family. It's possible that Chris realized that its usually the Man who has a job, and the woman stays home. Chris may have decided to say he was trans so he could have an excuse to not work.

==Timeline==
* [[March 2011|30 March 2011]] - Chris changes his [[PSN]] quote to "I am Tomgirl", foreshadowing the [[Tomgirl Pictures]].
* [[April 2011|29 April 2011]] - [[Tomgirl Pictures|Several pictures of Chris in his tomgirl attire are released.]] These pictures ended the speculation caused by Chris's most recent PSN quote, as well as marking the official start of the Tomgirl Saga.
* [[May 2011|14 May 2011]] - Chris removes the "I am Tomgirl" quote from his PSN account, immediately after PSN comes back online after a month of being inactive.
* 29 May 2011 - Chris discovers and joins the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum as Kookydashy. He makes three notable posts:
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Introductions!|Chris writes his introduction]] to his fellow tomboys and tomgirls.
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|Chris describes how he came out]] as a tomgirl to his parents, as [[Bob]] called him a "fag", and [[Barb]] commented "I didn't raise a daughter".
** [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|Chris recounts an experience]] where he got yelled at by a [[jerkop]] for going to the women's restroom.
* [[June 2011|9 June 2011]] - In another post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|Chris reveals that Barb]] tried to pay him to stop wearing panties, only to refuse. He then goes on and suggests that all men should be legally required to wear [[Muscle bra|bras]].
* 17 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Friendship Issues|Chris talks about himself]] in a post at the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum. He mentions how he had more [[gal-pals]] then male friends, and that [[dating education]] should be a mandatory class.
* 22 June 2011 - [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Reputation|Chris makes his final post]] on the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum before being discovered by the [[CWCki]], where he all but says he is Christian Weston Chandler, mentioning both his [[trolls]] and [[Sonichu]].
* [[July 2011|20 July 2011]] - [[Thorg]] discovers the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia forum, and makes an article about it on the CWCki.
* 21 July 2011 - Chris responds to the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia's discovery in a post, where he officially declares that he is Christian Weston Chandler. He complains about his trolls, and reassures his fellow posters that he is not a bad person. After talking about this with other posters for a few days, he stops posting on the forums, and later the forums are deleted.
* [[August 2011|6 August 2011]] - The next part of the Tomgirl Saga begins, when Chris returns to [[Youtube]]. He makes three videos, calling out various trolls and threatening to reveal their dox if they do not comply to his demands.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Chris calls out]] [[Surfshack Tito]], and demands that he 1) admit to hacking PlayStation Network, 2) apologize to the [[Wallflower]] and her family, 3) send Chris $1,000, 4) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 5) apologize to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris calls out]] [[Thorg]], and demands that he 1) put up a billboard in NYC declaring that Chris is straight, 2) delete all of his pages from the CWCki, and 3) apologize to Chris.
** [[Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris tells Thorg and Tito]] that they must respond to the [[Calling Out]] videos by August 31.
* 9 August 2011 - Two videos by Chris were released, and Tito releases a video responding to Chris.
** [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Chris calls out]] [[Alec Benson Leary]], simply demanding that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[It's not that cold|Chris goes outside,]] pretends to dig up [[Patti]], and wears her as a coat, in a parody of The Silence of the Lambs.
** [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|Tito responds to Chris,]] who is desperate in making sure Chris does not release his dox, and complies to Chris's demands.
* 10 August 2011 - Chris makes two more videos:
** [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Chris accepts Tito's attempts]] to meet Chris's demands, and re-calls out Thorg for not meeting Chris's demands.
** [[Correction of EX relationship status|Chris mentions that he never dated the]] [[Wallflower]], and that she was simply a female friend. Chris also mentions he has a new [[sweetheart]].
* 12 August 2011 - [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada|Chris unmasks Thorg,]] and reveals that he is Jeremy Slonwhite of Canada.
* 16 August 2011 - Chris makes another two videos, one regarding the Calling Out videos:
** [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|Chris calls out]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], and demands that he apologizes to Chris.
** [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Chris makes a makeup tutorial video]], reinforcing his tomgirl status.
* 20 August 2011 - [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Chris uploads a video where he sings about wristwatches]] dedicated to Thorg, which intimidates Thorg and causes him to leave the Internet.
* 23 August 2011 - Chris uploads another three videos:
** [[Re-Calling Ahuvia|Chris re-calls out Jack Thaddeus]], and reveals that he is a communist.
** [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris calls out]] [[BlueSpike]], and demands that he 1) stop people from prank calling Chris and yelling "JULAY", and 2) apologize to Chris.
** [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.|Chris shows off his hand-me-down laptop]] given to him by a fan, and mentions that he upgraded it.
* 28 August 2011 - A Youtube user named "CWCvilleProductions" uploads a video featuring Chris. In it, [[Victory Rockout|Chris rocks out]] to a Skyrim remix while celebrating his victory over Thorg.
* 29 August 2011 - [[Response to ADF|Chris responds to Jack Thaddeus]] who revealed he was ADF. Chris reinforces his [[homophobia]] while stating he also likes lesbians.
* 30 August 2011 - [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Chris unmasks Alec Benson Leary]] a day before the deadline, who has not responded to Chris's Calling Out videos. Chris reveals that he is Christopher Paul Whitney, a fat man on Youtube.
* 31 August 2011 - The deadline for Surfshack Tito, Thorg, and Alec Benson Leary to apologize to Chris.
* [[September 2011|6 September 2011]] - [[Bob]] dies of heart failure. Unfortunately, Chris's mourning put an abrupt end to the Calling Out videos, and possibly the Tomgirl Saga.
* 15 September 2011 - The deadline for BlueSpike to apologize to Chris. However, Chris did not unmask BlueSpike as he was still in mourning.

==See also==
* [[Tomgirl Pictures]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Calling Out]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Sagas]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Talk:2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-09-21T16:58:47Z

Demaster:

A couple of comments:

*There's still some Facebook material pertaining to this article that has not been transcribed yet to the CWCki. I'm going to take care of that soon.
*I don't particularly like the name I gave this article because it's not really catchy, but I can't think of anything better. If anyone can come up with a catchy name that also gives the reader an idea of what this article is about feel free to propose it.
*I'm wondering if we should an add a sentence a two about her likely motives for being in contact with Chris. A troll or a Wallflower-like situation are the most likely possibilites (in that order), but I'm not sure if the article should say that as it is not directly seen from the evidence we currently have.

Thoughts? - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 22:44, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

I was thinking it was the prostitute from earlier that Chris has misinterpreted into meaning something more.
--[[User:Sailormoon|Sailormoon]] ([[User talk:Sailormoon|talk]]) 00:27, 11 September 2014 (UTC)

Would 'Mystery Sweetheart' or 'Mystery Woman' sound better? [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 1:10, 11 September 2014 (UTC)
:A bit, but still not catchy enough IMO. I want something with humor in it. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 02:37, 13 September 2014 (UTC)

I feel so sorry for this women [[User:Demaster|Demaster]] ([[User talk:Demaster|talk]]) 12:57, 21 September 2014 (ET)

Talk:2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-09-21T16:58:10Z

Demaster:

Talk:2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-09-21T16:57:43Z

Demaster:

A couple of comments:

*There's still some Facebook material pertaining to this article that has not been transcribed yet to the CWCki. I'm going to take care of that soon.
*I don't particularly like the name I gave this article because it's not really catchy, but I can't think of anything better. If anyone can come up with a catchy name that also gives the reader an idea of what this article is about feel free to propose it.
*I'm wondering if we should an add a sentence a two about her likely motives for being in contact with Chris. A troll or a Wallflower-like situation are the most likely possibilites (in that order), but I'm not sure if the article should say that as it is not directly seen from the evidence we currently have.

Thoughts? - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 22:44, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

I was thinking it was the prostitute from earlier that Chris has misinterpreted into meaning something more.
--[[User:Sailormoon|Sailormoon]] ([[User talk:Sailormoon|talk]]) 00:27, 11 September 2014 (UTC)

Would 'Mystery Sweetheart' or 'Mystery Woman' sound better? [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 1:10, 11 September 2014 (UTC)
:A bit, but still not catchy enough IMO. I want something with humor in it. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 02:37, 13 September 2014 (UTC)

I feel so bad for this women [[User:Demaster|Demaster]] ([[User talk:Demaster|talk]]) 12:57, September 21 2014 (ET)

Chris and his ego

2014-09-21T16:39:46Z

Demaster: /* Naïveté */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}
{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (King James Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}
[[File:CWCnormanrockwell.jpg|thumb|right|Pretty much a perfect rendition of our beloved author.]]
'''Egotism''', out of all of [[Chris]]'s flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.

[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]] for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved wife, children and home)]]

==Origins==
{{Quote|When you don't have people in your life pushing you, can you push yourself?|[[Wikipedia:Tori Amos|Tori Amos]]}}
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again home-grown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his [[Stress|problems]] and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against that of others tilts far in his favor. The problem was compounded by his [[autism]], making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, and his [[Cole Smithey|half-brother]] supposedly suffered far worse and still managed to make something of himself. But Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for over a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and [[Anna McLerran|people]] [[William Elliott Waterman|let]] [[White knights|him]].

===The enablers===

[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]

{{quote|Drunk or not, they had me. At an old age where my mother was so close to menopause and my father was a senior citizen. [[Chris and Reality|I was truly a miracle]].|Chris, [[Mumble 3]]}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a thirty-year-old man with autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "[[Slow-in-the-mind|high functioning]]" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems, from emotional disorders to mental retardation, live far more independently than Chris does.

For children like Chris, special education in public school is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly tugboat===

{{Main|Chris and money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job.|Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system because he is simply unwilling to work on anything except [[mass debating]], playing [[Video games]], and [[Love Quest|stalking young women.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle — and thus his world view — sustainable.

===Blind luck and the cherry picking fallacy===

[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]

A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fan mail, letters-to-the-editor, [[Internet]] commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to [[Nintendo]] is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved... medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

[[Honor roll|The concept of form letters does not seem to occur to Chris]], who seems to think the letter was written specifically for him. As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' is just icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgement. As he graduated from PVCC in [[2006]], his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion led him to believe that he had a legion of fans, for a time; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirmed it.

==Narcissistic personality disorder==

[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|A TRUE and HONEST depiction of Narcissism.]]

It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara Chandler|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Chris and art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]]).

2. Is preoccupied with [[Dreams|fantasies]] of [[Sonichu (comic)|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ideal love]].

3. Believes that he or she is [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]]. (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4. Requires excessive [[True and Loyal Fanbase|admiration]].

5. Has a sense of [[Barbara Chandler|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor roll|favorable]] treatment or [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|automatic compliance with his or her expectations]].

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]].

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan Schroeder|feelings and needs]] [[The Wallflower|of others]].

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her.

9. shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]].}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris, right down to the sense of entitlement. Then again, many of the symptoms described match a typical diagnosis of autism. He may have both. [http://samvak.tripod.com/journal72.html Further reading is required to confirm the difference.]

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted self-importance===

[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
{{See also|True and Loyal Fanbase}}

{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before [[2000]].|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}

As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Chris's Wikipedia profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a personal army:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant gratification, instant acknowledgment, and instant attention — good or bad — that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

He also describes himself as "managing the varsity team"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> in high school, when actually he was waterboy.

But if, even after all of this, you're ''still'' not convinced that Chris has unwarranted self-importance issues, consider this little tidbit: he posted autographed pictures of himself on Ebay. Looking like this<ref>[[:File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG]]</ref> [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|no]] [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|less]]. Make of that what you will.

===Persecution complex===

[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he "takes responsibility for" are still "out of his hands". His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[trolls|trolling]], among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions. The only time Chris had actually stepped up and admitted responsibility was the accidental formatting of his [[PS3]].

===Naïveté===

Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. Like [[George W. Bush]], he only deals in absolutes: either you're [[white knight|with him]] or you're [[trolls|against him]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk — even from professionals — about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris - getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all. Another example of Chris' gullibility is one Miss [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]], a 'sweetheart' Chris met earlier in 2011. Despite her obviously being a troll (proven by a -mysterious leak of videos that were sent only to Jackie on [[February 2012]]), Chris has re-friended her on Facebook after blocking her the previous April. Only time would tell if we end up seeing Chris [[Cosplay|cosplaying]] or [[Cakefarts|making an ass of himself]] again in a video aimed only at Jackie. It's pretty obvious that Chris has only done this because he believes that [[Naive|he'll score with Jackie sooner or later]].

In [[2009]] and [[2010]], Chris slowly began to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: the pride before the fall===

[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist]]

{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, so much so that this attitude has transcended mere hubris, instead it more resembles mental illness: not only is Chris convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are without peer, he also believes he has supernatural powers along the lines of [[Chris and religion|Wicca or Voodoo]].

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}

[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror]]

All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane [[chores]] as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as ''psychological neoteny'', which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as ''omnipotence of thought''. Basically, in the same way he does with religion, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (e.g. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a ''[[Wikipedia:confirmation bias|confirmation bias]]''. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm Sorry, Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most apparent when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a parody, but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is "parody of a parody". As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

A literal example of the 'pride before the fall' would be Chris' series of [[Facebook]] posts between April and June of 2012. In [[April 2012]], Chris believed that he had utterly fooled the trolls when he made a [[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|series]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|of]] [[Facebook#Hey.2C_Trollies|posts]] mocking them. He even went so far as to post screenshots of the CWCki forum members talking about it. Note that in several of the screenshots, Chris believed that he had uncovered a scheme to start a poster campaign about him in [[Charlottesville]]. According to his [[Facebook#To_The_Trolls|Facebook post dated 4th June, 2012,]] he had called the [[Jerkops|cops]], and basically admitted that he completely fell for it. He then recorded an [[Voicemail_greeting#4_June_2012|angry voicemail greeting]] before quickly deleting it. Compared to [[Voicemail_greeting#30_April_2012|an earlier voicemail he made]], one can clearly see how humbled he was.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying and hoarding large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself. He may even believe that his unhealthy amount of children's toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job. He has absolutely no concept of money, and believes he is entitled to everything he can buy. This stems from childhood, when Snorlax would take Chris to the toy store and encourage him to talk by giving him toys if he could read their names out loud.<ref>See [[1980s#1989|1989 in Christory]]</ref> Ever since, he's believed that just by being autistic, he deserves everything he can get his grubby hands on.

This mixture of compulsive hoarding, compulsive shopping, and autism is bad news all the way. He compulsively hoards all of his toys and video games because he wants to give them to [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(daughter)|his daughter]] in the future. He also seems to enjoy collecting things, which may explain why Pokémon appeals to him. Chris compulsively buys everything he can on the PS3, and is more concerned with trophies than actual gameplay. Most of the games he's downloaded have never been played. But the important thing is that he ''has'' it. Hoarding items in cases other than OCD is a sign of intellectual disability in older children. He may have inherited this behavior from his parents.

===Tender misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that Encyclopedia Dramatica would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

===Paranoia===

One of the worst things that comes out of Chris's ego is his bloated sense of paranoia. As mentioned above, Chris has taken to withholding certain information from trolls like an animal being shocked by a shock collar. However, this line of thinking has pushed Chris into believing that the entire world is out to get him. In early days, it was actually simple - [[Jerkops]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] were conspiring to stop him from succeeding in his [[Love Quest]]. However, after the incident with [[The Wallflower]] and the realization that there's entire webpages devoted to him, it's caused him to see things in a bigger, yet disturbing picture.

As such, Chris has decided to become a recluse, refusing to make friends with anyone unless he knew him in the real world. However, this is a double-edged sword as Chris refuses to interact with anyone in the real world as well. In the real world, if someone spotted Chris and knew him by name, even if they had heard of him from whatever remaining place is left for him to go to, he panics and runs, fearing that the person is actually a troll seeking to spread more information about him across the Internet. As well, if someone wanted to contact Chris through other means, even if that person had no idea who Chris was or what Sonichu was or anything that the trolls had done, Chris will shut them out because he doesn't know who they are and thus, has relegated them to the title of "troll".

A perfect example of this was revealed in a series of [[Facebook]] screenshots. While eating at a [[McDonald's]] restaurant, an employee of Burger King spotted him, acknowledged him, then went to mess with his cell phone. Chris went into panic mode, assumed that the worker was actually a troll, then thought the man was "communicating with his own kind" by hopping on a forum. He then proceeded to photograph the man, and talk about him behind his back on Facebook, [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironically doing what he feared the 'troll' would do to him.]]

===Surrendering Information===

If there is one thing that Chris's ego would simply not allow, it's suppressing himself from giving away too much information about himself. If he feels that bragging about something would give him a one-up against the trolls or make himself look good, he'll freely announce it for everyone to hear. The most glaring example of this is [[CWCki|this entire wiki]], which was created using a lot of information provided by Chris himself. Back in the day, Chris viewed himself as an extremely popular internet celebrity with a [[Trolls|'true and loyal fanbase']], and, as such, would divulge a lot of information about himself so people would know him better (inclusive of [[Dox|personal information]] that nobody in their right mind would give away). However, there are times when he would do the opposite and [[Honest Content|surrender information that would make him look horrendously bad]], sometimes without provocation. [[DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|The ongoing Soiled Underpants Saga]] is the shining example of this.

Whilst this practice has diminished in recent times with Chris making himself scarce out of fear that trolls would have more [[Tomgirl Pictures|ammo]] to use against him, his habit of needlessly surrendering information still manages to surface. For example, when he claimed to lose his virginity, he couldn't help but announce it on his [[Facebook]] page, all the while swearing up and down that he would never divulge any details about it to the trolls. Mere weeks later, more details emerged on Facebook, leading to speculation that he actually bought a hooker (since we all know the [[Megan|inevitable]] [[Kacey|end]] [[Jackie|result]] of his [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]]), which he ended up confirming on 1 May, (along with attending a 'Mythbusters' tour, something which wasn't even brought up but still revealed anyway) all the while claiming to remain button-lipped on the matter. Only time would tell if and when Chris finally reveals everything to silence his nay-sayers. After all, it wouldn't be the [[The Wallflower| first time]] it's happened.

In 2013, Chris's habit of needlessly surrendering information returned with a vengeance. Chris threw a temper tantrum on [[Facebook]], and many would have assumed that it was [[Chris and Anger|business as usual]], ''until'' Chris made the fatal mistake of revealing the reason why he went on the warpath; somebody had uploaded his status updates (complete with the ones that were hidden) onto [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ an Imgur account.] Aside from the usual whining about how lonely he was, these screencaps not only revealed what he was up to in the silence between 2011 and 2013, but also uncovered a very ugly side of Chris. One post in particular revealed that he was angry at the fact that [[Mimms]] had a girlfriend, and demanded that somebody should ''kill her'', simply because Mimms was a "[[JERK]]." The fact remains that the one who revealed all of this unsavory information was not the trolls, as Chris would try to have you believe, but ''himself.''

===Fishing For Sympathy===

In many conversations with Chris, there have been quite a few instances where he would outright fish for sympathy, in the hopes that people would take pity on him and, in so doing, make him feel better about himself. One such example is [[Father Call]], where Chris constantly talks about the "trials and tribulations" in his life to an unimpressed [[Matthew Devoria]], from whom he was trying to seek approval to date his daughter ''(note that said "trials and tribulations" amounted to housework and being teased on the internet.)'' In his [[Jackie_E-mails_23|later E-mail exchanges]] with [[Jackie]], Chris is quick to paint himself as a misunderstood victim whenever Jackie rips him a new one over issues such as his habit of [[Lie|lying]], [[Chris and Hypocrisy|being a hypocrite]] and even being [[Women%27s_rights|inconsiderate towards her]]. Even in recent times, he has not cut out this habit, his [[Facebook]] entries blame his trolls for making his life a living hell, one in particular lamenting that nobody cares about him except for his own mother.

The attention he gets from his mother, [[Barbara Chandler]], and his friend, [[Anna McLerran]] is textbook mollycoddling at best. Chris has spent his entire life being catered to by his parents ''(notably well past the point of social acceptance)'', to the point where he depends on them to bail him out of the [[Money#Credit_cards|numerous]] [[The_Game_Place|messes]] he gets himself into. It comes as no surprise, then, that this, combined with his being [[Autism|autistic]], has poisoned Chris' mind into thinking that this is how everybody should treat him, by default. And if people don't see things his way, he'll be more than happy to point out the [[Kick the Autistic|heavy burdens he faces daily]], almost as if he expects them to instantly take back their mean, mean words and feel sorry for him.

==War against the ego==

One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious monthly tugboat on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

There were even some instances where it seemed that the trolls had made a breakthrough by [[Heart level|breaking Chris]], only for him to get right back up again and continue with his antics. An example of this would be [[Kacey]], who led Chris on for a while until she dropped the bombshell that she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris]], but not before having her father point out [[Father Call|every single thing that is wrong with Chris.]] A normal person would have been utterly devastated by this turn of events, and some would even use the experience to better themselves. Chris, on the other hand, perked right up when he [[Red_Letter_CWC_Certified_Day|obtained a letter 'validating' Sonichu]], forgetting about Kacey in mere days, just like she had predicted.

==Examples of Chris's ego in the real world and in the comic==

[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]

{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}

{{clear}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and video games

2014-09-16T19:12:30Z

Demaster: link reality

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|[[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game, and then... move onto another.|A TV Anchorwoman on a younger Chris winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris almost definitely centers his life around and spends more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] and have [[Chris and sex|sex]] with him. He [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. [[Chris and Reality|Reality isn't so simple]], which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a Commodore 64 home computer. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly [[Virgin|700 different game titles across 19 different platforms.]] (He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the Gamefly mail-order rental service until August 2010.

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings [[Homos|up the rear]]. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in Brutal Legend was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer's]] other [[Random-access humor|quirky, offbeat]] games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[Random-access humor]] of such games, more likely, they were too intelligent for him, and not mainstream enough. More likely, his interest in Brutal Legend was due to Jack Black providing the main character's voice, and possibly [[Chris and music|Chris's failed attempts to appear to be an enjoyer of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Sewer Shark'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

Despite being obsessed with Pokemon, he's not a hardcore Nintendo fan as some might suspect. He never seems to show interest in the latest content from Nintendo, and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (such as games from the ''Metroid'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Mario'' franchises) are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks.

He owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. "Hardcore" games aimed at "adults" are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (Such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the Hannah Montana PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he's taken to playing games he wouldn't normally were he doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile and loathsome [[HEXBox]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

In typical fashion, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he seems to shown interest in, [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and though there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claims that it's the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome]].

===Chris the trophy whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off in his PlayStation Network profile. He's doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"), even though he could easily check and see that he can't play his copy of Little Big Planet in his Wii, although he is either too lazy, or is afraid of having [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] raided by [[jerkop|jerkops]].

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, of which we can only see in science fiction currently.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's games]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Club Nintendo]]
* [[PS3]]
* [[Fandoms]]

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Guitar Hero

2014-09-14T00:10:29Z

Demaster: /* See also */

{{taxpayermoney}}

<center>{{#ev:youtube|gpDNSgu7NfM}}</center>

[[Image:Chrisguitarhero.png|thumb|Chris, as he imagines himself to look.]]
[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying.jpg|thumb|Chris, as he is in reality]]

'''''Guitar Hero''''' is a rhythm action video game where one uses a guitar-shaped controller to activate the notes of a song as they scroll down the screen, similar to ''Dance Dance Revolution'' and its dance pad controller.

==History==
Chris owns a ''Dance Dance Revolution'' set-up, as well as other popular music games like [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'']]. While ''DDR'' and even many Wii games would involve actual movement, possibly even vaguely resembling actual exercise, ''Guitar Hero'' remains the only game which [[Chris]] has mentioned using for exercise, despite the fact that ''DDR'' has an exercise mode. Specifically, Chris has stated several times that ''Guitar Hero'' is good for his health, because he has to stand up to play it.<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag #2]]</ref> Because standing still and pressing buttons on a plastic guitar is far less strenuous than singing or jumping up and down on a dance pad or even waving [[Wii Remote of Fail|poorly painted controllers]] around, Chris has taken a particular liking to ''Guitar Hero'', and has made references to it several times throughout his many works.

Data from his [[PlayStation Network]] account reveals that Chris has spent nearly $500 downloading new songs to play in various ''Guitar Hero'' games. By comparison, he's spent a little more than $50 on downloads for its closest rival in the music game market, ''Rock Band''.

Chris appears to show some decent skill level in ''Guitar Hero'' games. Even when [[Asperchu|rivals]] poke fun at conspiracies behind mysterious orange notes (if you catch their drift), Chris has been able to survive songs on hard difficulty, as shown in the videos. Sneakily enough, he just says the expert difficulty "is good"<ref>[[Common Questions#07 January 2010|Common Questions, 7 January 2010]]</ref> — so far, we don't know if he ''routinely'' plays on expert or not.

==Delusion==
Here in the real world, people think ''Guitar Hero'' is the most awesome music game ever, one that really makes you feel like a rock star... until they ''play'' it, at which point they realize that they're mashing buttons on a plastic guitar. Actual guitarists have said that ''Guitar Hero'' doesn't help you learn to play guitar and have themselves struggled playing the game — they said they needed to first forget everything about how to play guitar. Even the most oblivious people should see that a guitar fretboard looks nothing like the guitar controller's buttons.

Chris, however, seems to believe that playing ''Guitar Hero'' is a feat on par with playing a real guitar. For example, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris takes his PS3 and Gitar of Fail with him on his band tour. During [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], he also explains that [[Blanca]] plays the ''Guitar Hero'' for [[Jiggliami]]'s band, which implies that the band only performs covers of songs from the games. In the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]], Chris specifically forbade the use of real instruments as well as ''Guitar Hero'' guitars. In what may be the most mind-blowing example yet, Chris dismissed a real, actual, non-video-game-controller guitar as a [[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July|"Wooden Nickel"]].

We can only wonder what ''exactly'' was going through his head when he shredded with mad apathy in [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|the notorious music video]], and wonder whether or not he can tell his "guitar" doesn't actually make any sounds besides clacking of plastic in [[100 2266|"Don't Laugh at Me"]].

The ''Guitar Hero'' games, later entries in particular, base themselves around the idea that rock music can do anything, as seen in classic rock videos and album covers. Chris has seemingly taken inspiration from this for his comics, such as [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], where he uses the Power of Rock to demolish the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building.

==Sonichu and Chris-chan in ''Guitar Hero World Tour''==

On 27 October [[2008]], Chris uploaded a video showing off the custom ''[[Sonichu]]'' crap that he added to the game. As in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], he portrays himself as thin and fit. While this is partly due to the fact that that game doesn't have an "unpleasant, fat" character model, it would still be possible for Chris to give his in-game self some degree of huskiness if he had any sense of his personal appearance.

{{tinyquote|I've created the Sonichu Band Icon from scratch, as well as my Character and Guitar. Enjoy the further testaments of my capabilities and creativity in tune to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." Also, I am up in [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|the "Auditions" on Gamestop.com]]; please Vote for [[:Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|my Rockin' Picture]] to get me as a Playable Character with Sonichu & Rosechu in my Band in a Future Guitar Hero Game.|Original video description, 27 October 2008}}

==Bandmates==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|150px|Music is just another way to get [[china]] for Chris.]]
: ''See also: [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]''

Video games are no longer the passive form of entertainment they used to be — they're also a breeding ground for the creativity of the gamers. Like all enthusiastic gamers, Chris unleashes the full force of his creativity and puts a lot of thought into his video game play to get maximum satisfaction out of these games. Unfortunately, this is obviously not going to work as well as it does for some other, more gifted people.

''Guitar Hero'' games allow a great degree of fun but ultimately useless fiddling that doesn't actually help the game, such as creating virtual band members. In yet another feeble attempt to prove he's not a [[homo|homos]], Chris's bandmates are all women, because what [[Gal pal|girl]] wouldn't want to jam with the [[Autism|artistic]] genius that is CWC? He also picked some very odd names for these characters, with the [[Niggos|black one]] oddly getting a [[Chris and religion|Jew]][[Chris and race|ish]] surname.

{{-}}

<center><gallery>
Image:ZuriAlryte.jpg|'''Zuri Alryte''': She ''may'' have a charming personality, but until she ''shows'' it, people will only remember the [[duck|waterfowl]]-up-the-skirt picture.
Image:KieraBei.jpg|'''Kiera Bei''': No doubt a lady of diverse emotions, ''all of them'' expressed ''at the same time'' on her face.
Image:JodyZimmerman.jpg|'''Jody Zimmerman''': Without the Rule 34 pic, we'd have no idea if she was even really a woman.
</gallery></center>

Though this might not seem too ridiculous at first glance, two facts make it worse. First, the first we heard of these bandmates was through a leaked Rule 34 picture. Among fiction writers, blatantly pornographic imagery is hardly considered the best way to introduce new characters to the world (though some may argue it's probably the most profitable). Chris drew himself having sex with these virtual women, and proceeded to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|video]] about it, announcing it as a testament to his straightness.

Secondly, he seems to be a little bit too preoccupied with the idea, to the point that people are starting to think he ''really believes'' he bonked these nonexistent chicks.

{{quote|Would I be having sex with THREE WOMEN?!|Chris, [[Chris and reality|forgetting ''Guitar Hero'' is a video game and those women are fictional]]}}

==See also==

*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*[[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]
*[[Chris and music]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://hub.guitarhero.com/profile-display?id=1588 His ''Guitar Hero'' stats.]

[[Category:Video Games]]

Power

2014-09-11T20:03:33Z

Demaster: /* Transcript */

'''Power''' is a file, published by [[The Miscreants]], in which [[Chris]] performs various dubious feats of strength. The .zip includes three videos, an audio file and a "special thanks" document. It was published along with [[CWCFlyingElephants]] on 27 [[April 2009]].

==Videos==
===StrongCWC1===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Q1TgUkNy-Ko}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}
===Transcript===
[[Image:He-Chan.jpg|thumb|right|BY THE POWER OF NUMBSKULL!]]
[''Chris stands in the middle of [[Chris's room|his bedroom]], with [[Muscle bra|no shirt on]], and the [[Gitar of Fail]] in his right arm. He proceeds to hold it above his head'']

'''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR! FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''performs a retarded "guitar solo"- namely by wiggling the whammy bar and screeching'']

===StrongCWC2===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FyfbjcX3XWQ}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}
===Transcript===
[''Chris stands in the same spot as before, albeit now with a swivel chair in front of him. He [[I AM STRONG|flexes]] his jelly-like arms'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' We will now be watching the strong man, lifting a '''very heavy''' ''office chair''. Note: the chair [[WeighIn|weighs a ''grand'' number of ''pounds''.]]

[''crouches and lifts up the chair, albeit with considerable effort'']

Ahhhhh! Ta-da! '''FEEL MY WRATH!'''

[''puts the chair back down'']

===StrongCWCPower===
{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gP5ThvKQZvY}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}
===Transcript===
[''Much like before, Chris stands in front of the chair, again flexing in an attempt to look tough. However, there is now a plastic basket filled with what appears to be books placed on the chair as well'']

''(Spoken in voiceover)'' Now we will be seeing the strong man lifting ''the same chair'', but with a '''very heavy''' basket full of junk in the chair.

[''bends down to pick up the chair, giving us a view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and ass crack]] in the process- he struggles to lift the chair, and spills a good portion of what appears to be books in the process'']

'''HHHNGG [[random access humor|I ONCE KNEW A MAN FROM NANTUCKET!!''']]

[''puts the chair back down very quickly'']

===Audio file===
:I got a dick!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a dick!
:Would ya like to make a wish?

:I got a ''diiiiiiiiick!''
:Would ya like to make a ''wish?''

==See also==
* [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
* [[I AM STRONG]]
* [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'LL SEND EVERYTHING IN MY '''POWER!''']]
* [[Prower]]

==External links==

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Got A Fish]]|nextlink=[[CWCFlyingElephants]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

Anime

2014-09-11T20:01:05Z

Demaster: /* End of Evangelion */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:054-CWCsAnimeWorldCD.jpg|thumb|Chris has liked anime since at least [[2000]].]]

'''Anime''' (アニメ) is a colloquial term for Japanese animation. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokémon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by [[2004]] he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in [[2005]], but hasn't been back to a convention since then. (He considered a trip to Baltimore's Otakon convention in 2010, but primarily as a way of meeting [[Jackie]] in person.)<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 12]]</ref> In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''[[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|Crayon Shin-chan]]'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring "[[Sonichu 8|very-close-to-nude girls]]" (even bigger shock).

Chris still ripped off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "[[Sonichu Girls|harem]]" comedy-drama ''[[Wikipedia:Shuffle!|Shuffle!]]'' in [[2009]]; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it (he has yet to comment on the scene where the main character got his eye cut by his psychotic [[galpal]]). He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early [[2010]], doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].
[[File:Fistofthesonichu.JPG|thumb|left|Chris summoning his stand, Autism Nightmare.]]

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around [[November 2009]], Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and scantily-clad women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women — strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, unlike [[Rosechu (species)|some creatures]] we all know and love. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked. The last series might have had a particular impact on Chris, as the face-rape of [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] in [[Sonichu 8]] is [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|very similar]] to Pubic Hair Jump, a move by which the title character of ''Kekko Kamen'' kills her enemies.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], Pokémon and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
[[File:Anime.png|thumb|SO KAWAII!]]
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], which he completed in the spring of [[2006]]. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
{{main|Things Chris has ripped off#Anime}}
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] An example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from ''Dragon Ball''.
* ''[[Wikipedia:New Cutey Honey|Cutey Honey]]'': Chris quotes, almost word for word, Cutey Honey transformation speech in [[Sonichu 5]]. It should be clear why he even knows about [[Chris and sex|Cutey Honey]].
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''[[Wikipedia:Inuyasha|Inuyasha]]'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': Simonchu and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'': In made-up ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards.
* ''[[Wikipedia:YuYu Hakusho|YuYu Hakusho]]'': Chris's Zap Cannon attack in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] bears an uncanny resemblance to the protagonist's Reigan attack.

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...a lot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref><ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of [[Tomgirl Pictures|a boy's struggle for acceptance]]… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
* The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
* The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
* The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
* Asuka freaking out.
* Everyone turns to [[Fanta|orange tang juice]].
* Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
* Rei melting everywhere.
* The unhappy ending, because as we all know, he can't stand anything that's even remotely depressing.

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]
*''[[Shoujo Beat]]''

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

My Little Pony

2014-09-11T19:52:48Z

Demaster: /* Chris and ponies */

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
[[File:Mane6 Chaotic Combo.png|thumb|200px|A quick comparison between the [[wikipedia:Mane 6|Mane 6]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].]]
{{taxpayermoney}}
'''My Little Pony''' ([[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|MLP]]) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]
The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow]] [[Tomgirl|Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a G3 My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokémon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on 31 [[March 2012]], he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was "Gabby Gums."

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the ''MLP:FiM'' character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that appeared to have a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous ''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes]'' fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offense at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being gorily killed, which is featured in both videos, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general. In a twist of irony, it was recently discovered that Chris has not one, <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2FD70214E0CF6E92 Jappleack Playlist on Chris' YT account]</ref> but two <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2f2iqihk1im2B1M7ZXJyoCd-gkDLXYCQ Jackie and Jerry playlist on Chris' YT account] </ref> playlists from HotdiggedyDemon ''(inclusive of said videos)'', [[Chris and hypocrisy|the creator of the "Dark Parodies" that he hated so much.]]

In 2013, Chris' actions would cause him to become a social pariah to the Brony community ''(as if he wasn't one already)'' by calling out voice actress [[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] on her "Twilightlicious" video, claiming that she was tainting the name of the characters she had voiced by apparently supporting trolling and bullying. Many trolls had responded that his actions were, to say the very least, ''ridiculous'', due to him [[Autism|misunderstanding the context of her video]] and expecting a well-known celebrity [[Chris and his Ego|to personally answer to him.]] This certainly would have ended in Chris not hearing squat from Tara, had a troll not decided to forward his rant to her Facebook account. This is what she had to say:

{{quotebox|"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Chris and his Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."}}

Despite not meeting Chris before in her life, Tara immediately chastises Chris as someone who would pull this stunt for attention, and makes note of her work in anti-bullying campaigns ''(which is something Chris would obviously not put any effort into researching)''. Chris has yet to respond, but it's pretty obvious that he'll not only disregard what she said, but also accuse her of being a '''"DANG, DIRTY TROLL!"''' like he does with everyone who disapproves of his bullshit.

When the ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Equestria Girls|Equestria Girls]]'' trailer was released, Chris threw a ''fit'' on Facebook, citing that it would attract ''"[[pedofork|pedofile]] (sic) perverts"'' into the fanbase<ref>[[:File:Chris-Chan - FB - Equestria Girls.png]]</ref> ''([[Chris and hypocrisy|this coming from the guy who drew porn in Sonichu 8.]])'' Hilariously, he then goes on to say that the Friendship is Magic crew is "Out Of Their Minds", ''right'' after saying "With All Due Respect," ''(even going so far as to name-drop Lauren Faust, who had left the show for over a year.)'' He then comments on his own note, [[Chris and his Ego|loudly demanding IN ALL CAPS that somebody pull the plug on it.]] Needless to say, Hasbro did not respond to Chris' suggestions.

[[Chris and hypocrisy|He later "liked" some videos related to the movie online and named it his #2 favorite movie]].

==Cutie mark==
[[File:Cutie mark.jpg|thumb]]
In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].
{{-}}
==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos."
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = THE original brony
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8aXhm_sm3bU}}
| Stardate = 8 March 2012
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary TheCWCvilleLibrary]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]
==References==
<references />
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Sonichu 10

2014-09-11T19:44:58Z

Demaster: /* Operation: Grand Theft Medal */

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = Issue 10 Cover.jpg
| coverdate = 15 September [[2008]]
| finishedcomic = 25 [[February 2010]] ([[Book10Replacement|revised 30 October 2010]])
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #10''' is the eleventh and currently final issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]), though he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
===October 2008 Preview===
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu #10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of [[2008]], the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the [[Medallion]].

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special ''Sonichu'' comic meant to be an excerpt from ''Sonichu'' #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the medallion's safety and [[Blanca]]'s loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 [[January 2009]]. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the [[Time Void]] since the end of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], and not scheduled to return until after #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time ''Sonichu'' #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] as the cover of #10.

===Conflict with Asperpedia===
During the production of ''Sonichu'' #10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was pressuring Chris to kill or otherwise remove [[Simonla Rosechu]] from the comics, since she was based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, [[Simonchu]] without his approval. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a trial in a kangaroo court, are violently executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of ''Sonichu'' #10.

===Chris's Promise to Remove Himself From the Series===
As early as [[Sonichu Game Talk|28 August 2008]], Chris had acknowledged that the ''Sonichu'' series had become too focused on Chris rather than Sonichu and the others. He promised that once he returned from the [[Time Void]] that he would step down as Mayor of CWCville and appoint his sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] to take his place. Chris seemed earnest about this, and he even mentioned his plan in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris_Will_Be_There..._Someday|Shigeru Miyamoto]] in January 2009. At the end of [[Sonichu 8|#8]], Chris teased "Next Book I get out of he Time Void", leading [[fans]] to assume he was going to step down as mayor in #9. Instead, Chris's escape from the Time Void was tacked onto the very end of the story, so he deferred his promise of pulling himself out of the books to Issue #10, where he could settle things with his remaining enemies.

And yet, after nearly several dozen pages of Chris slaughtering his foes, when the time came for him to address the people of CWCville, he announced that he would '''continue''' to be the Mayor, while Crystal would merely serve in an advisory role. Whether Chris plans to actually live up to his promise of staying out of the comics remains to be seen. [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]] started out Chris-free, but it was abandoned well before the conclusion of #10, which ends with Chris murdering someone with his super powers, then declaring his birthday to be a national holiday.

==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''
| audiobook =http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ77AMiIG7Q&feature=BFa&list=PL4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1&index=58 ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===
The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 9|the last issue]]. However, in this version Chris adds more dialogue to the scene. Magi-Chan tells Chris how much everyone missed him during the nine months or so he was missing, and Chris announces his intentions to revenge himself on his various enemies. He also tells Wild and Magi-Chan that he briefly wound up in the year 2015, where he encountered [[Lovely Weather]] while participating in a medical study to cure homosexuality. In 2015, Weather and Chris are married, so she took him home, believing the Chris of 2008 to be her husband. Having [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], he then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

By June of 2015, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos|homosexuality]], but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals six years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. Chris is then vaccinated with the formula and is satisfied with the results. To add even more unintentional hilarity to the situation, vaccines actually use a small sample of the original disease, as to reintroduce it to the body; this of course, implies that Chris's blood was cough cough, [[Homos|tainted]]. He grabs an additional two of the "cure" syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen. He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!).

But before sending him on his way, Chris uses Magi-Chan's telepathy to contact his allies to coordinate the rest of his master plan. He calls out to [[Allison Amber]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' and his plastic instruments and send him to the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Building in Clarksville, Tennessee; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him in Clarksville by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]], [[Punchy]], and Wild to meet him and Sonichu in Clarksville so they can perform in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. Magi-Chan departs for the future, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===
[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]
Before heading to Clarksville, Chris makes a stop at the Sonichu Site Filing Facility, a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear. Much like the 4-cent Garbage Building, this appears to be a brick-and-mortar avatar for [[Sonichu.net]]. It's even "hosted" by Tripod. He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the [[Devil Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris defeats them with ease, then starts talking about video games and the ESRB rating system for no reason. With his precious [[shit|content]] safe, Chris uses his powers to teleport all of it into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building to ensure no living thing escapes, '''and then fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

With that task completed, Chris contacts a [[Gal-pal]] for help setting up what would become [[CWCipedia]]. Next, he uses his foreknowledge of Lovely Weather to find her in a bookstore and set up their first date. After that, he contacts the CWCville Board of Directors, a previously unseen group who may play some role in the governance of the city. Once he informs them of his plan to commit mass murder in another state, he resumes his journey to Clarksville to settle the score with 4-cent Garbage.

===Operation: Grand Theft Medal===
''Note: Pages 13 - 20 of Sonichu #10 were drawn in October 2008 as a "preview", long before the rest of this issue was completed.''

As [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] monitors him on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[HEXBox]].

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed.

Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' [[guitar]]. Convinced these items will bring him victory, Chris waits patiently in front of the door, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place. Shouldn't Sonichu have beaten him there? He didn't have nearly as much dumb shit to do.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (already forgetting all about [[Lovely Weather]] from a few pages back). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage.com building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' A crudely-drawn rendition of [[Monty Python|Spiny Norman]] also appears and says "Dinsdale", presumably in an attempt at [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

''This concludes the "preview" segment of the comic.''

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===
While waiting for the others, Chris meditates on a bench, unaware that Reldnahc Ha-Taque is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. At the last second, Chris senses the attack and blocks it. Chris declares his intention to defeat his dark counterpart once and for all, while Naitsirhc insists that he will turn Chris evil and [[homo|gay]]. The two of them battle it out in their sonichu forms (in a scene [[Chris and art#Traced images from the Sonichu Comic|heavily traced]] from a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' comic) until they hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..." He then rises up and stabs Reldnahc with the syringe, not in the heart, but straight in his [[Black Sonichu]] [[Medallion]]. The medallion shatters, and as Reldnahc transforms back into the totally straight Naitsirhc Giovanni, Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"'''

Chris teleports the unconscious Naitsirhc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, and he laments that he [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]] in his Reldnahc persona, but at least the evil homo is gone. Moments later, Son-Chu and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|The Hedgehog Boys]] arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap in Chris's car. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, he snaps his fingers, turning into his real life self (that is, various photos of Chris used in place of drawings). Whatever effect this was supposed to have is undermined by the fact that Chris is wearing a different shirt in real life than he was in the comic. So he stops to explain that the correct shirt was in the laundry. Chris commands Son-Chu to transform into a soundstage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] to perform. That's right, they plan to defeat the trolls with the power... of ROCK.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===Fall of 4-cent_garbage.com===
Chris begins to play what the comic calls [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a set of badly written lyrics set to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent. Unlike the original song, which was about fucking, Chris's version complains about an eleven-year-old incarnation of a children's TV show. As Chris plays the instrumental part of the song, the 4-cent garbage Building begins to shake. Inside, Beel, [[Clyde Cash]], and [[Jack Thaddeus]] warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't withstand guitar licks of this magnitude, and they must escape before the whole place comes down around them. Jason agrees, but chooses to save only himself and [[Kathleen]]. As he readies for departure, he explains that he is STRAIGHT, and has decided to retire from trolling to settle down with Kathleen in a normal life. Beel also decided to save himself, leaving Clyde and Jack to die. With no way out, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as the building collapses around them.

Outside, Chris and his band continue their relentless barrage of rock until the entire building is reduced to a pile of rubble. The narration then reports on the aftermath, including a massive estimated death toll for the employees. Chris has the gall to say that he and "the rest of us heroes" cleaned up the rubble and called ambulances to save the very people he attacked. Chris sheds a tear over the senseless destruction he himself had perpetrated minutes earlier, almost as if doing so would [[Chris and Remorse|justify]] the [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|needless murder]] of over 100 people who made fun of him. He then quickly changes the subject by comparing the dead trolls to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''.

===Christian Love Day===
[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]
At that moment, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. He reports to Chris that testing on the Homo Vaccine in 2015 is a success and that he has delivered it to 2008, where it will be dispensed into the world's drinking water. Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]], in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible. Magi-Chan also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female, and she will fall in love with Magi-Chan.

Out of nowhere, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a fan of the comic series. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

Chris then pauses the story to make yet another rambling non-apology to his homosexual fanbase. Much like Sonichu's tantrum in [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Chris starts out with a very diplomatic tone, but then grows more defensive and confrontational, blaming the offensive nature of his comics on the readers' refusal to accept him and his characters as heterosexual. Chris begs his readers not to abandon him, but in spite of his apology, he made no effort to remove or redraw the content for which he was apologizing.

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
With gay people finally dealt with, Chris and Sonichu use the seven Sonichu Balls to transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, they communicate telepathically, and Chris orders Sonichu to [[RuleCWC]] while he heads back to CWCville. There, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. In RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, and she immediately showers Darkbind with gratitude for... Well, actually, he didn't do jack shit, but Sonichu's already married, so there you go.

===Mission in Minnesota===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]
Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan rendezvous over the home of [[Alec Benson Leary]]. After breaking in, Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port on Alec's computer (a HEXbox Pavillion), then concentrates and rips off ''[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]'' by placing himself inside the computer. Chris then deletes all files within the [[Asperpedia]] website, bans Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, and deletes their accounts for good measure. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator. Just in case he hadn't done enough damage, Chris blows up the computer as well.

Meanwhile, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. As he investigates the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu discovers Asperchu outside in the yard, along with Alec's version of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo. When they see Ultra Sonichu, Alec's Hedgehog Pokemon treat him like a god, and beg forgiveness from Chris for the awful things Alec has made them do in his comics. They tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's, forced them to become gay, and compelled them to drop their real names as they impersonated their counterparts in CWCville. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure their Asperger's and give them new clothes. Asperchu himself is dramatically altered, becoming a [[homos|muscle-bound]] Sonichu known as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. In return for his help, Sonichu asks them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free.

When Chris comes outside to meet the others, they literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before him]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God, [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|but he appreciates the gesture]]. Together, they all defeat Metal Asperchu, then [[death threats|physically assault]] Alec Benson Leary off-panel. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Chris pauses the story once again to address the audience. This time, he denounces "Asperchu" and its depiction of the cast of "Sonichu". Impatiently, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story. Even ''he'' is fed up with the constant interruptions.

===Return to CWCville===
Back in the Mayor's Office, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]], who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of Moon-Pals, but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Ultra Sonichu and the four [[Basement Rosechus]] arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. After he drops them off, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggos|niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]].

With all that nonsense out of the way, Ultra Sonichu flies to the flagpole of a tall building, where he expends the last of his Ultra Sonichu power to free all [[Jerkops]] from [[Slaweel Ryam]]'s mind control. Collosal Chan confronts her in the [[PVCC]], now deserted since all of the Jerkops gone back to their old lives. Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to release Graduon. Chris takes the wand and smashes it onto the floor. Chris then complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will defeat Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and Chris naturally defeats her with ease. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

===Christian Lies, Simonla Dies===
[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]
Following Mary's defeat, Chris holds a public assembly to update the city on recent developments. He announces Walsh's arrest and imprisonment, the emancipation of all Jerkops, and the legalization of homosexuality in CWCville. Gay marriage remains illegal, but seeing as how homosexuality is supposed to be eradicated a few months later, it doesn't seem to matter. Chris appoints his twin sister Crystal as a "social relations" assistant, and that he will continue to hold the office of mayor indefinitely. Chris also promises to make fewer appearances in future Sonichu comics.

During his speech, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. At the same time, Magi-Chan notices [[Evan]] in the rafters of the Mall, trying to cut down a massive TV screen hanging over the audience. He quickly paralyzes Evan, then spots [[Simonchu]] skulking behind a potted plant in a black cloak. Magi-Chan accuses him of trying to murder his own sister (Simonla, according to Chris). But they are just a diversion, as a third conspirator, Alec Benson Leary, has finished planting a Toilet Exploding Voltorb in the women's restroom, which he detonates once Simonla sits down to piss.

Wild accompanies Simonla to the hospital, and she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'') in case she doesn't make it. Wild sits on their egg in the waiting room, until [[Bill the Scientist]] informs him that she died in surgery. Wild swears revenge, but Magi-Chan reminds him that the killers are already in custody. At that moment, Wild's egg hatches. Wild names his daughter [[Sandy]] and Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her mother.

Wild assumes the burden of a single father, and within a week, Sandy evolves into a Rosechu, who just so happens to look almost exactly like Simonla.

===Trial of the Asperpedia Four===
[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of ''CWCVille v. Leary, Watley, George and Ling.'' Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for prosecuting attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing.

Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while "super-high". All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. Sean offers a rock in their defense, because they rock. Nevertheless, the jury convicts the Asperpedia Four and Judge Lewis sentences them to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
First, Alec is strapped to a "Ten-Button Electric Chair". Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu. Once all ten buttons are pressed, the chair electrocutes Alec, thus giving them all the satisfaction of killing him. For writing a parody comic.

Next, Evan is chained to a wall where Wild and Sandy can torture him as much as they please. Wild lets Sandy go first, and she takes his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there). She then bores holes all over his body with her drill hands (including his [[Pickle|crotch]]), before she and Wild finish him off together.

Sean is hung by his wrists in a room where Bill the Scientist, Allison Amber, and [[Kel]] shoot guns at him at pointblank range until he dies.

Finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]]''' with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before exploding his heart, without any remorse or justification of why, even noting that ''"his amends have been made"'' for doing so. Recall that one of the charges against the Asperpedia Four was for "[[Chris and hypocrisy|portryals(sic) of death in horrifying, gorey(sic) detail]]".

===Apology to the Asperpedia Four===
Strangely, throughout the scenes depicting the Asperpedia Four's arrest and trial, Chris includes flashbacks to his speech from just before Simonla's death. In these panels, Chris makes apologies and admissions as demanded by [[Alec Benson Leary]] in their [[Alec_Benson_Leary_calls|phone conversations]]

Chris admits the following:
*Alec has a fanbase comparable to Chris's own.
*Evan may have given Chris permission to use Simonchu in his comics, but Evan later withdrew that permission.
*Simonla was never Chris's character to use, being a blatant copy of Simonchu.
*Chris attempted to cover up the truth about how Simonchu inspired Simonla by editing her CWCipedia page.

Chris then makes the following apologies:
*To Evan, for creating Simonla without his permission.
*To Alec, for calling him [[naive]] over the phone.
*To Mao, for [[Curseyehameha|cursing him]]
*To Alec, for depicting Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu breaking into Alec's home and using Asperchu characters in this very issue.
*To Alec again, for implying that he kept four Rosechus captive in his basement for sexual purposes.
*To the Sonichu [[fanbase]] for failing to update the CWCipedia regularly and writing disrespectful replies to fan mail in the [[Mailbag]].

Note that while Chris is conceding Alec's points in these panels, on the same pages he shows the Asperpedia Four being treated like base criminals. Most likely, this was Chris's way of fulfilling his agreement with Alec, but without actually giving him what he asked for.

===Conclusion===
Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Bill Pullman's speech in the movie "Independence Day".

The comic ends with a two-page dedication to the memory of [[PandaHalo]] including her original fanart and a page from her comic.

=="Extras"==

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===October 2008 Preview: Grand Theft Medal===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been stolen, the trolls posing as [[Blanca]] responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===February 2010 Preview: Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]].

===Depiction of the Asperpedia Four===
As #10 took months to complete, Chris added content to respond to criticism of the parts he had finished. For example, in one of the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|phone calls]] with Alec Benson Leary, Alec took exception to the way Chris depicted him and his characters on pages 51-70. Chris would later apologize for this on pages 86 and 87.

Upon the completion of the comic, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Alec called Chris again]] to take issue with the gruesome executions of himself, Sean, Evan and Mao.

On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Ultimately, Chris abandoned the Cwcipedia altogether in May.

When [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''. She would eventually nag Chris about completing the new ending to #10, if only to keep his promise to Alec.

==Revised ending version==
On 30 October 2010, at Jackie's insistence, Chris uploaded [[Book10Replacement|a video]] in which he presented the revision to the ending that he promised to Alec 6 months earlier. Instead of being sentenced to death, the Asperpedia Four are sentenced to live in an Amish community for the rest of their lives, where they're brainwashed into becoming double entendre-spewing retards. Jason Kendrick Howell is revealed to have died in a car crash, and Kathleen Nicole Wallace is put in a maximum security prison for smoking pot.

However, Jackie asked Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref> to make a different kind of comic altogether, where Mayor Chris has a parade of forgiveness and understanding in CWCville, acknowledging Alec's helpful intentions. She made this request due to an earlier chat where Chris had said he's forgiven Alec, and she wanted this comic to show that Chris stands by his words. However, Chris failed to deliver the comic exactly as requested, and admitted to Jackie that this was due to his ongoing hatred of Alec's [[homos|homosexuality]], [[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]] and [[JERKS|JERKness]], completely missing the point of the exercise, even when Jackie was very clear in explaining ''why'' she wanted the pages to be redone.

Chris later revised his plans<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 21]]</ref> for the remake: The Asperpedia Four would be found not guilty, Chris would give shoutouts to Cwcipedia admins, and then [[TrollBusters|Calvin and Dee^2]] would take the four into their custody for the parade. For the parade, they would be displayed on two floats: Mao and Evan would be on a float together, branded as "busted Cyber-Bullies/Trolls", while Alec and Sean would be "promoted as the next Dark Humor Comic Authors". So despite being found "not guilty", the parade seems more like a Roman triumph in Chris's honor, with his captured enemies included as an example of his glory. After all that, the Asperpedia Four would then go to the Amish commune of their own volition and start new lives there with their relatives.

Unsurprisingly, by the end of the Jackie Saga, this version had not surfaced, and still remains so to this day.

==Gallery==
<center>{{collapsible
|Episode 21 - Director's Amenities
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</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[Asperchu]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?bxbbbf1b042nwrb Download .rar of Sonichu #10]
 

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga]]

HippoOnYourHead

2014-09-11T19:42:59Z

Demaster:

[[File:You've got a hippo on your head.jpg|thumb|It stops making sense after this point.]]

'''[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000?in=user HippoOnYourHead]''' is Chris's third [[Flipnote Hatena]] animation, uploaded to his profile on 24 [[June 2010]]. This flipnote is Chris's first attempt in the program that features an actual narrative, as opposed to just being an [[UltimateNightmare|animation test]] or [[Don'tGetTrolled!|blatant theft]]. It also sets the basic tone that future flipnotes would conform to: stick figures joylessly acting out "funny" scenes. Chris assuming that he's such a master of [[random access humor|comedy]], decided to put "some" effort into his videos. Many of his sock puppet accounts gave him positive reviews of his flip note video, so it's completely unclear how many [[gal pal|people]] actually watched this video.

This is not the first time Chris has brought up hippos on heads as something he believes is funny. He first brought up this [[random-access humor]] when he edited the [[ED]] page. In the [[Regina e-mails#Random access humor demonstration|Regina e-mails]] it was all but pointed out to him how terribly unfunny it truly was. A leaked post by [[Chris]]<ref>[[:File:FSM2.PNG|"EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus"]]</ref> sheds some light into what he might consider funny about this joke: the hippo is a reference to the brain's [[Wikipedia: Hippocampus|hippocampus]].

Chris also mentions a "Buck Williams"; it is unclear whether this refers to the [[Bionic the Hedgehog|basketball player]], the character in [[Chris and religion|post-Rapture]] novel series ''[[Wikipedia: Left Behind|Left Behind]]'', or if it's simply another made-up name made for the sake of his sense of humor.

The Flipnote ends with Chris begging for stars, which are essentially Flipnote Hatena's e-penis measurement system, which proves that even "off the [[Internet]]", Chris still wants his [[fanbase]] to do him favors.
{{-}}

==Description==

{{quotebox|Yep, if a Hippo IS on your [[Chris and english|had]], you will likely become flat as paper. LOL. A Silly, [[Random-access humor|Random]] piece from C.W.C. with no meaning whatsoever. }}

== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = HippoOnYourHead
| video = {{#ev:youtube|0oME_VeGVZo}}
| stardate = 24 [[June 2010]]
| previous = [[Don'tGetTrolled]]
| next = [[RandomHumor1Part1]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[File:Praiseme.png|thumb|If you don't, I'll be forced to give myself stars!]]

[''A [[Chris and art|poorly-drawn]] boy and girl stand facing each other, when a hippo spontaneously falls on the boy's head'']

'''Girl:''' Ah! You have a hippo on your head.

'''Boy:''' Yeah.

'''Hippo:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|Dauhhh!]] [''Walks offscreen'']

'''Boy:''' Well, don't just stand there, write a letter on me!

[''The girl walks over to the flattened boy, picks him up, and starts to write'']

'''Girl:''' Dear Sir, Hello! Signed, [[Wikipedia:Cameron "Buck" Williams|Buck Williams]].

'''Writing:''' If you like decent random humor, please add one green star or a bunch of yellow. CWC. Have a good and safe day. :)

==Sources==
<references/>

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena| 2010-06-24]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-24]]

Samurai Pizza Bots

2014-09-11T19:34:58Z

Demaster: /* Son-Chu */

According to [[CWCipedia]], the '''Samurai Pizza Bots''' are a cadre of [[Transformers]] who protect the city of [[CWCville]] from enemy attack. Since they didn't appear until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], one wonders where the hell they've been up until that point, and since [[Son-Chu]] at least has been around in the comic for a long time, why they haven't been helping [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian]] and [[Sonichu]] not get their heads kicked in by a variety of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|implausible super-villains]] in the comic before that.

If you're wondering about the name, there is actually a plausible reason for it (as opposed to the other strangeness in the comic like [[Jerkhief|wooden badges being delicious]]). The name is actually [[Things Chris has ripped off|stolen]] from an [[anime]] called [[Wikipedia: Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]], about a gang of anthropomorphic cats who protect their city while running a pizzeria. Chris liked this concept so much, that he felt the need to steal it and incorporate it into his comics, by making the CWCville Autobots maintain disguises as pizza delivery vehicles, complete with the ability to holographically project drivers who would deliver the pizza personally to customers.

==Members==
===Son-Chu===
[[Image:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|thumb|Son-Chu's transformed mode in [[ModNation Racers]].]]

{{main|Son-Chu}}

Son-Chu is Chris's own personal transformer. In [[Chris and his Ego|typical Chris fashion]], since the car is his, that means it is naturally the leader of the CWCville Autobots and has the most prominence in the comics, as well as being the only transformer to be spared the indignity of being referred to as a Samurai Pizza Bot. No, instead, Chris refers to his transformer as the leader of the "[[Virginia]] Autobot Squad".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Son-Chu</ref>

Also notable is that while Son-Chu still has the same stupid logo as the other Autobots, he doesn't actually have a day job delivering pizzas. Son-Chu is instead Chris's own personal transportation. In vehicle mode, he takes the form of the blue '94 Ford Escort car that Chris drives in real life. Like the other Autobots, he has the ability to project a hologram of a driver into his seat in vehicle mode to maintain disguise, and being that he is Chris's car rather than a pizza delivery vehicle, he creates a hologram of Chris instead of a hologram of a delivery boy.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_67</ref>

In fighting mode, he completely changes most of his entire design. While normally a Ford Escort, his body still changes into the front of a Dodge Viper in robot form anyway, and while dark blue before, while transformed he becomes yellow and battery blue. Notably, this is the same color scheme often associated with [[Sonichu]] himself, who is mostly yellow and has blue shoes. This ''could'' be the reason why the Autobot is named Son-Chu in the first place, but either way it's probably not a coincidence that the two similarly named characters also have similar color schemes. As far as weapons go, Chris's description of him on [[CWCipedia]] says that his roof can become a shield, while his hood can become either a "Plasma Pistol" or an "Energon Sword". He is described as being "Quick footed, well armored" and with a "Strong personality under his hood".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Son-Chu</ref> Note that no such personality is shown in the comic.

For some reason, he can also transform into a concert stage, which he does in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] to help [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play a live performance of [[Revive Zordon]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_28</ref> with their music being so terrible that it actually [[4-cent_garbage.com|causes 9/11]]. At this point, it is debatable whether or not Son-Chu is really a Decepticon agent in disguise, a theory leant credence by the fact that [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] is clearly also in Chris's servitude.

Notably, Son-Chu appeared before any of the other robots in the comic, though not as a transformer. He made several cameos throughout the series in vehicle mode before he and the Samurai Pizza Bots' first proper appearance, being first seen at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']].

===Prower===
[[Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg|left|thumb|Punchy and [[Layla]] out on a drive. Also note the way Punchy rides the motorcycle like a man-pony at an S'n'M club.]]

'''Prower''' (sometimes spelled '''Prowler''') is another of the Samurai Pizza Bots, holding the distinctions of being one of the only two transformers to have an "owner" and the only one to be owned by a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He is also the sole justification for the "Samurai" part of the Samurai Pizza Bots' name.

For some reason, Chris decided to elaborate more on Prower than any of the other Autobots, giving him an established backstory on the [[CWCipedia]] article for [[Punchy Sonichu]], his owner, in a short backstory subsection called [[Homos|''Friends of the Fist'']]. The story explains how Punchy and Prower first met, which basically boils down to Punchy noticing a motorcycle in a cave, talking to it, and it talking back.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punchy_Sonichu</ref> They then decide to be partners for some reason, and that's why Punchy suddenly has a samurai robot motorcycle working for him in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']].<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punchy_Sonichu</ref>

Being the most fleshed out character of Chris's shitty transformers lineup however is countered by Prower also being the most obvious ripoff of the bunch. He is a blatant copy of the Autobot cyber-ninja [[Wikipedia:Prowl (Transformers)|Prowl]] from ''Transformers Animated'', sharing such qualities as their samurai armor which becomes a sidecar, their similar names, their vehicle modes, and the fact that both are ninjas, both supposedly rely on stealth, both use holographic images and both use [[Wikipedia:shuriken|shurikens]] to fight.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Prower</ref>

The source of Prower's name is a [[Autism|complete mystery]]. While it has an obvious basis in the name Prowl, his [[Chris and copyright|inspiration]], why Chris chose to drop the 'L' is never made clear. The name is confirmed not to be a typo like [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] was for instance, because it is used multiple times in the comic and that is the name his CWCipedia article went by, meaning the alternate spelling of "Prowler" sometimes used is more likely to be the typo that "Prower" is. The strange spelling has been claimed by [[trolls]] over time to being everything from a [[racist]] joke about how Asians would pronounce "Prowler" to the more likely option of being a reference to [[Wikipedia: Miles "Tails" Prower|Tails]] from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series, whose real name is Miles Prower- a pun on ''miles per hour''. To this day, nothing has been confirmed.

===Bumble-Lumba===
The token [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]] ripoff. Other than the fact he fights [[Jerkops]] and [[Decepti-Clones]] like all the other Samurai Pizza Bots and that he transforms into a yellow and green hatchback, ("[[Minor CWC-isms|Bug-Car]]" according to Chris), nobody knows anything about him. Not even Chris cares enough to elaborate on what kind of weapons he uses in Bumble-Lumba's own CWCipedia article. He just delivers pizzas, fights, and transforms.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bumble-Lumba</ref>

===Excelina===
[[Image:Robovagina.jpg|thumb|Seriously, what the hell?]]

The only female transformer and obvious ripoff of the movie version of [[Wikipedia:Arcee|Arcee]]. The inspiration behind Excelina's name is unknown, but most [[trolls]] point to either the [[anime]] ''[[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel Angel Kurumi]]'', which has a character with the same name and which Chris has seen before and liked,<ref>[[Mumble 2#Rabbichoso And Animu]]</ref> or to Excel from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', which Chris has [[Parody|parodied]] before.

Her vehicle mode is that of a motorcycle, (of what make and model Chris never says), and comes with a blatantly obvious female hologram "rider". Men are courteously informed that she is just a hologram, just in case you thought Chris's [[art]] had gotten even worse. This particular hologram also somehow has the ability to actually pick up pizza and carry it to customers despite not having a physical presence. Chris claims on her CWCipedia article that she knows all the shortcuts across [[CWCville]], and that she can reach anywhere in the city in less than ten seconds,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Excelina</ref> a speed that neither [[Sonic]] nor [[Sonichu]] have matched so far.

She is described in combat as being "Slick, cool and full of style in her attacks" and "[[Chris and sex|Strong-Fisted]] Up-Close". Her main weapon is said to be "[[Death threats|Sniper]]-Style", but she "[[Megan Schroeder|needs space]]" to use it.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Excelina</ref>

All this is irrelevant however, as her lack of personality or any interesting design to distinguish her from the other Autobots means she will forever be remembered by [[trolls]] and [[True and Loyal Fanbase|''Sonichu'' fans]] as the one Chris decided to draw with a robot vagina.

===Armoraxe===
[[Image:ArmoraxeBot.jpg|left|thumb|You know that little kid you see at your cousin's birthday celebration running around with a [[Gitar of Fail|toy guitar]]? Imagine if he was a robot.]]

The apparent sub-leader of the group, acting in the same way to Son-Chu that [[Wild]] does to [[Magi-Chan]], the Armoraxe robot is supposedly named for his tough armor and sharp axe. Unfortunately, Armoraxe does not use an axe, but instead a giant guitar that transforms into a plasma rifle. This motif with the guitar makes him a rather obvious ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]] from ''Transformers Animated''. Chris describes him as a "real [[Guitar Hero]]", and claims that "when he Plays that Beat, HE WAILS!!!", whatever that means.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Armoraxe</ref>

His vehicle form is that of a minivan, perhaps more specifically a [[Wikipedia:Scion xB|Scion xB]], (though Chris described it as a "[[Minor CWC-isms|Heavy Beat Van]]"). In his robot form, he carries a boombox on his shoulders and wields a guitar. Due to Chris's lack of [[Chris and art|artistic talent]], it is difficult to discern if his face is on the boombox itself or if he has a separate head that is in front of it.

In yet another example out of thousands that show how shitty Chris's comic is, when Chris took down the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in ''Sonichu #10'' through the power of rock, Chris showed up in [[Son-Chu]] instead of Armoraxe, and Son-Chu turned into a mobile rock stage. He didn't bring along Armoraxe at all. Armoraxe's entire ''raison d'être'' is that he's a walking talking robotic sound system with a guitar, and the one fucking time he could have been at all useful, Chris chose to use his shitwagon instead.

Also note that Soundwave is actually a Decepticon, and yet his ripoff is an Autobot. If Soundwave were real, he'd feel insulted by this.

{{-}}

==Origins==
At this point you're probably wondering where the hell these guys have been since the beginning of the comic, and that's a good question. At first, one would assume that the Autobots first showed up around about the time Chris got lost in the [[Time Void]]. They could have been called in as extra support after Chris got lost, or perhaps they coincidentally ended up there while pursuing Decepticons and decided to stay and help the city. Then however, you realize that the leader of this particular group of Autobots is [[Son-Chu]], who transforms into Chris's car, and Chris had that same crappy Ford Escort all the way back in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], which through [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] Chris has established took place ''years'' before [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], and Son-Chu was never seen transforming in between those stories, even in situations where his assistance would have helped out immensely.

This then leads into the second theory. Maybe these aren't exactly the same kind of Autobots that appear in the the regular ''[[Transformers]]'' universe. After all, the [[Decepti-Clones]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] were all actually built by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and her minions, so maybe the [[Bill the Scientist|top minds]] of [[CWCville]] got together and decided to just build some transforming robots of their own at about the same time, and perhaps Chris's car was stripped down and used for parts during the creation of Son-Chu, and that's why he was a robot in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] but not before that.

However, then there's the issue of Prower. He wasn't made in a lab or workshop to defend CWCville. He definitely came from out of town. Punchy found him alone in a cave behind a waterfall, and he claimed to have ended up there by coincidence coming back from a battle with Decepticons outside the city. So he must be the alien kind of transformer. This in turn though raises the question of why he was taking orders from a derivative robot like Son-Chu who was built by humans.

In conclusion, Chris introduced a new group of characters with conflicting origin stories and stupid retcons, and the end result was a mess so devoid of any coherence that no-one can even say for sure where the characters actually ''came from''. In other words, typical [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']].

==Gallery of plagiarism==
<center><gallery>
Image:Prowl_prower.jpg|Prower = Animated [[Wikipedia:Prowl (Transformers)|Prowl]].
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg|Bumble-Lumba = Animated [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]].
Image:RClina.jpg|Excelina = Movie version [[Wikipedia:Arcee|Arcee]].
Image:ArmorWave.jpg|Armoraxe = Animated [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]].
</gallery></center>

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Power Rangers]]
*[[Decepti-Clones]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Punchy Sonichu]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

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2014-09-11T19:29:57Z

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2014-09-11T19:29:09Z

Demaster:

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