CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:SniperFire16

2014-10-20T04:15:52Z

Dick Banton:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and don'ts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider Anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done, or join a '''[[CWCki:Projects|project]]'''.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just be sure to check out the [[CWCki:User pages|guidelines]] first.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions|FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Anonymax|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

--[[User:WelcomeBot|WelcomeBot]] 18:27, 17 November 2011 (PST)

"I'm striving to not be [[My Little Pony|like Chris in any way possible]]". Oh, the irony. [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 04:15, 20 October 2014 (UTC)

Relics of Fail

2014-09-22T07:35:36Z

Dick Banton: /* The Major Relics */

{{protip|Have you "discovered" a new Relic of Fail? Cool, just see if it's considered a relic under the [[Talk:Relics of Fail#A Taxonomy of Fail|the Taxonomy of Fail]].}}

The '''Relics of Fail''' are several items that Chris places significant emotional value on. Their status is unknown as of [[Destruction Of Chris's House|the 14 Branchland Court fire]], but Chris did mention rescuing his DSi, so they possibly survived.

== The Major Relics ==

[[Image:Chrischan sonichu medal.jpg|thumb|[[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion, Mark 1]]]]

* [[Amnyfest Ring]] - Since the Sonichu medallions were stolen, Chris has claimed this [[Chris and English|mysteriously]]-named high school ring is the TRUE source of his power.
* [[Attraction Sign]] - A relic of days past when Chris had not yet been told by his mother that soliciting using a sign made him look retarded. Many versions existed, [[Mary Lee Walsh|most were destroyed]]. Most recently seen being used at [[Fridays After Five]].
* [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC on TV'' DVD]] - A DVD composed of many home videos among other things, such as his [[Song of Christian]].
* [[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]] - Apparently convinced this counts as a real guitar, Chris is often seen with his beloved ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' controller in attempts to look cool. It invariably has the opposite effect.
* [[Medallions of Fail|Medallions]] - Hunks of Crayola-brand modeling clay fashioned into the shape of Sonichu's head, among other characters' heads. Once believed by trolls to be the source of his power, they were swiftly corrected, and now Chris shows off his Amnyfest Ring to show that his videos are true and honest.
* [[PS3]] - Chris's life upgrade and the biggest drain on his [[Monthly Tugboat]]. Chris is now on to his [[The MovingForward videos|second PS3]].
* [[PSEye]] - The window through which trolls can catch glimpses of Chris and his day-to-day life.
* [[Scrapbook of Fail|Scrapbook]] - A three-ring binder containing all of Chris's comic pages and other drawings.
* [[Patti Chandler|Patti's corpse and doghouse]] - Chris's beloved dog who is buried in the Chandlers backyard under her doghouse.
* [[Hair|Locks of Chris's hair]] - Probably the only Relic to have been obtained by trolls which actually comes from Chris's own body.
* Gift Basket of Fail - In a [[:File:Virginbreaker.png|private facebook note]], Chris said that he had given a gift basket to the [[Virgin with rage#No longer a virgin (No word on the rage)|woman who took his virginity]]. This relic might not actually exist, as some suspect that "gift basket" is actually a [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|payment given to a prostitute]]. Alternatively, some suspect that Chris had [[List of Chris's lies|made up]] the story of how he lost his virginity and that it didn't happen at all.
* [[Un-clit|The Un-clit]] - A piercing on Chris's [[:wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] that was made on 15 September 2014. Chris believes that this piece of metal will be useful to him should he engage in [[:wikipedia:tribadism|tribadism]] with a female.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref>

== The Minor Relics ==

[[Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|[[Son-Chu]]]]

* [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' issue]] - A lengthy issue of ''Nintendo Power'', customized to show Sonic ditching Sega to join [[Nintendo]] and revealing a little bit of what Chris wants in a [[Sonichu (game)|''Sonichu'' game.]]
* [[Heart Torch of Fail|Heart Torch]] - An odd-looking creation, though more original than most of his works. Born of [[Pixelblocks]], it is used in the comics to summon his twin sister, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]].
* [[Pedo-Glasses]] - Have you ever noticed how [[pedofork|pedophiles]] and rapists in composite sketches wear these kinds of glasses? Yeah, don't think too hard about that.
* [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] - Yet another vessel for Chris's video game obsession. Chris, in typical fashion, has decorated it with images of his flagship character and his own face.
* [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|''Sailor Moon'' Poster]] - One of many things Chris presumably masturbates to in order to keep himself heterosexual.
* [[Son-Chu]] - Chris's beaten old station wagon, now nearly two years overdue for an oil change. Also appears in the comic as one of the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]].
* [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]] - Actually, just a sports bra which Chris sadly wears, thinking that everyone will be turned [[Homos|gay]] if they don't wear one, too.
* [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] - A short tract produced by Chris and given as a birthday gift to his [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. The document chronicles the lives of its two title characters and the (almost non-existent) relationship they had while depicting them (and several of their friends and family) as Sonichu characters. The tract's current fate is unknown, although it is more than likely to have been thrown away by Sarah shortly after receiving it.
* [[iDea Book Case]] - Invented when Chris found himself having too many iOS products, and needed a place to put his iPhone, a (broken) iPod touch, and another iPod touch seen off-camera.

==The Lesser Relics==

[[Image:TG8.jpg|thumb|[[Plush Breasts|Plush Boobs of Fail]]]]

* [[Anime Wings]] - A pair of women's hairclips that Chris got at [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]. For some reason, Chris felt the need to incorporate them into his comic.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail|Belt Buckle]] - Not a very well-known relic, but nonetheless extremely amusing.
* [[Clown Doll]] - A harmless-looking clown doll, significant in that it often bears the brunt of Chris's fury in his many rage videos.
* [[Fapcup]] - Cup used by Chris to collect his [[semen]] for drinking purposes.
* [[Idea Book Case|iDea Book Case]] - Case "invented" by Chris to store his Apple devices.
* [[Li'l Chris]] - A stuffed bear — not, in fact, Chris's [[duck]].
* [[Megatron pistol|Megatron Pistol]] - A toy handgun Chris uses to [[Death threats|threaten]] his most hated [[trolls|foes]].
* [[Plush Breasts|Plush Boobs of Fail]] - A pair of fake breasts often seen in his videos, possibly used as a sign of heterosexual virility and as a [[mass debating]] tool.
* [[Wii Remote of Fail|Wii Remote]] - Like the PSP and ''Guitar Hero'' controller, this poor Wiimote has been decked out in Sonichu colors and was used in Chris's attempts to get [[Miyamoto]] to make him a video game.
* [[Pocket knife|Pocketknife]] - A knife that Chris can't handle at all.
* [[Pokéwalker of Fail]] - A Poké Ball-shaped pedometer originally packaged with the [[Pokémon|''Pokémon HeartGold'' and ''SoulSilver'']] versions, recolored in the image of one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].
* [[Sex toys]] - Lots and lots of, including sex dolls, a vibrator, a dildo, a penis pump, anal beads, penis rings and two fleshlights.
* [[List of toys|Regular children toys]] - Too many to count; can be seen in Chris's videos and photographs cluttering all over his room. The most notable ones have been listed in this article.
* [[List of Chris's games|Video games]] and their various consoles - Thousands of dollars have been spent on them, some of it right from the [[Monthly Tugboat|pockets of the American taxpayers]]. Chris sold some of those games and consoles to [[Snooky's Pawn Shop]], where they were later obtained by [[Clyde Cash]].

==Artwork of Fail==
* [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] - Even the simple task of drawing a straight line to depict a drinking straw evades Mr. Weston Chandler.

==The Shrines of Fail==
* [[The Wall of Originals]] - A monument to the wastes of time known as Chris's original ''Pokémon'' cards.
* [[Megan Shrine]] - Chris's display of his disturbing obsession with the one [[Megan|girl]] he thought he truly had a chance at. '''Spoiler Alert:''' He never had a chance and never will.

==The Holy Fails==
{{protip|Procure one of these and upload them to CWCki and you will be a fucking god amongst men.}}
While not traditional relics in such that Chris has emotional value, per say, these are Chris-related relics that are of immense value to trolls but, like the fabled Holy Grail, seem impossible to obtain.

* [[Autism papers|Autism Papers]] - Presumably papers detailing Chris's exact psychological diagnosis. While a psychiatric survey from [[2004]] has been procured, the original papers documenting Chris's diagnosis are currently locked away in a filing cabinet in [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] room.
* '''Transcripts and Report Cards''' - Chris's transcripts and report cards, to verify whether if he was indeed on [[honor roll]] and to what degree his claims about his high school grades are true.
* '''Recording of Chris's screaming''' - Chris claims that during his time in [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] several members of the school's faculty restrained him to the ground and recorded his screaming.<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref> If this recording indeed exists<ref>See the article [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] for reasons to doubt Chris's several accounts of the Greene County incident.</ref> than it is very likely to have been destroyed by now.

== References ==
<references/>

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

Talk:2014 Anonymous Sweetheart

2014-09-22T07:31:25Z

Dick Banton:

A couple of comments:

*There's still some Facebook material pertaining to this article that has not been transcribed yet to the CWCki. I'm going to take care of that soon.
*I don't particularly like the name I gave this article because it's not really catchy, but I can't think of anything better. If anyone can come up with a catchy name that also gives the reader an idea of what this article is about feel free to propose it.
*I'm wondering if we should an add a sentence a two about her likely motives for being in contact with Chris. A troll or a Wallflower-like situation are the most likely possibilites (in that order), but I'm not sure if the article should say that as it is not directly seen from the evidence we currently have.

Thoughts? - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 22:44, 10 September 2014 (UTC)

I was thinking it was the prostitute from earlier that Chris has misinterpreted into meaning something more.
--[[User:Sailormoon|Sailormoon]] ([[User talk:Sailormoon|talk]]) 00:27, 11 September 2014 (UTC)

Would 'Mystery Sweetheart' or 'Mystery Woman' sound better? [[User:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]] ([[User talk:Boomhauer|talk]]) 1:10, 11 September 2014 (UTC)
:A bit, but still not catchy enough IMO. I want something with humor in it. - [[User:NegaCWC|NegaCWC]] ([[User talk:NegaCWC|talk]]) 02:37, 13 September 2014 (UTC)

I feel so sorry for this women [[User:Demaster|Demaster]] ([[User talk:Demaster|talk]]) 12:57, 21 September 2014 (ET)
: I can't see any woman wanting any part of Tomgirl Chris. This has to be some big misunderstanding, from Chris's end. '''OR IS IT?''' [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 07:31, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

File:Tribbing.png

2014-09-19T04:58:24Z

Dick Banton:

Chris explains the sex act of tribadism. In detail. Also, he reveals he's had his [[Un-clit|taint pierced]].

File talk:Tribbing.png

2014-09-19T04:57:50Z

Dick Banton:

So, the real question is: where to put this, and the several new fun facts it reveals? [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 04:13, 18 September 2014 (UTC)
:Make a new article or add it to the [[duck]] article under one or more new sections.
:On the content of the post, I believe Chris has gotten a lot saltier. I'm glad for the change, but his description of tribbing and his taint ring and everything is a new extreme that is [[recycling|hard to swallow]]. I don't know much about transsexualism, but Chris claims to tuck his duck under his taint. Because his scrotum would get in the way, the bend comes to mind. Visualizing Chris's anatomy would be quite the CADD project, and with the new piercing and everything, well, this is a tough one. I'd like to see a diagram of Chris tribbing with his taint ring and tucked duck, or however Chris would have lesbian sex. -[[User:AReasonableMan|AReasonableMan]] ([[User talk:AReasonableMan|talk]]) 08:57, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

:I created a [[Un-clit|new article]], and as ugly-looking as the name is, that's probably the best for it. Time will tell if he refers to it more often as an 'un-clit' or as a 'taint piercing' (and you just fucking know he's going to bring it up again). And am I the only one who sees parallels between 'here's what scissoring is' and 'Megan, here's what a handjob is', or am I just reading into it too much? [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 04:57, 19 September 2014 (UTC)

User:Dick Banton

2014-09-19T04:51:52Z

Dick Banton:

{{Quote|He's an expectant! Nothing we can do!}}

'''Dick Banton''' created the pages for the [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]], and the [[Un-clit]]. He unrealistically plans on enjoying [[Chris and health|many years]] of continued [[Laughs Under Lucricities|loloz]].

Un-clit

2014-09-19T04:48:50Z

Dick Banton: Created page with "LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN The '''Un-clit''' is what Chris calls a small piercing on his taint (or perineum, in clinical terminology). He has appar..."

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]]

The '''Un-clit''' is what Chris calls a small piercing on his taint (or perineum, in clinical terminology). He has apparently gotten it as 'a fair substitute' for a clitoris piercing. His explanation also includes a brief introduction to the sex lives of monkeys.

[[Barbara Chandler|Barb's]] opinion on this is currently unknown.

== September 18th Facebook Status ==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own Penis Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My Vagina Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook has decided that no part of this status is considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category: Physical characteristics]]

File talk:Tribbing.png

2014-09-18T04:13:33Z

Dick Banton: Created page with "So, the real question is: where to put this, and the several new fun facts it reveals? ~~~~"

So, the real question is: where to put this, and the several new fun facts it reveals? [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 04:13, 18 September 2014 (UTC)

File:Tribbing.png

2014-09-18T04:10:30Z

Dick Banton: Chris explains the sex act of tribadism. In detail. Also, he explains he's had his taint pierced.

Chris explains the sex act of tribadism. In detail. Also, he explains he's had his taint pierced.

2014 anonymous sweetheart

2014-09-11T04:53:25Z

Dick Banton:

{{Ongoing}}
In the summer of 2014, [[Chris]] revealed that he has found himself a '''new [[sweetheart]]'''. The first public signs of her appeared on 29 August, when a member of the [[CWCki Forums]] made a post about an autograph and a drawing sent to her by Chris. The drawing, signed 18 August 2014, contained a note in the back in which Chris claimed to have a girlfriend.<ref>[[Other documents]]</ref> On 31 [[August 2014]] Chris claimed on Facebook to have had a date with his girlfriend on that day while wearing a [[Britney Spears]] perfume.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#First date?]]</ref> On 5 September 2014 Chris used Facebook to tell his eBay customers that the commissions they have ordered will be delayed due to Chris being busy with his girlfriend.<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris finally found a sweetheart?]]</ref> As of the time of this writing (10 September 2014) very little is known about this woman and her motives for being in contact with Chris.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|September 11th]], Chris posted this Facebook status:
{{quotebox|I want to make something very clear.

My Girlfriend and Sweetheart is Very Real; she is NOT a [[Hooker incident|Hooker or Prostitute]]. And I certainly am Not spending money on Hookers or Prostitutes. Although I sincerely do feel sorry for them all and having to do what they do for a living. [[Barbara Chandler|My Mother]] and I do have our own expenses, NOT DIGITALLY RELATED, that we are paying off, and the minimums are growing steep. And my mother still needs her dental work, and we do enjoy eating good food like most everyone, including You!

Please Remember and Respect that about us, about most everyone, and about Yourself!}}

==References==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]

Chris and death

2014-09-02T15:46:26Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
{{Quote|Sometimes I remember her, but I have moved on.|Chris on the late [[PandaHalo]].<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref>}}

'''Death''' is a concept that Chris has a notably hard time understanding and/or coping with, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and childish thought patterns. Children often don't understand death, usually just thinking it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a child inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to understand death.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===The sinking of the ''RMS Titanic'' (d. 1912)===
In [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]], Chris attempts to threaten [[Lars]] by destroying a [[Lego]] version of the Titanic.

===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (d. 2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of 1 [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the [[Wikipedia:World Trade Center|Twin Towers]]. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's pet dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face on the signature confirming the euthanasia process.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti&diff=4455&oldid=4454 Eulogy for Patti] on the [[CWCipedia]]</ref> As seen in the image used in this article, Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as a furry character named [[Patti-Chan]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]].

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended. In [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash]], he equates Ryan Cash's death with Patti's, and in the [[Father Call]], he equates the death of Matthew Devoria's mother in the 9/11 attacks.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. On the one year anniversary of her death, Chris even broke down in tears and had to be consoled by his mother.<ref>[[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007#Chris is sad about Patti]]</ref> By comparison, the "death" of any Sweetheart will result in a few days of mourning at best.

It should be noted though that despite all of Chris's fondness for Patti, her memory was still not safe from being [[It's not that cold|defiled by him]].

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this.

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former heartsweet of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the ''Sonichu'' characters mourn the loss of their professor.

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was Clyde's brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. Chris, of course, [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|reacted to this]] in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide. He also suggested that Clyde get a girlfriend who could make him just as happy as Ryan could have, which (disturbing implications aside) indicates that Chris seems to regard people as more or less fungible. This also helps explain why Chris seems to be able to move on so quickly when one of his online "heartsweets" meets some unfortunate demise.

===[[PandaHalo]] (d. 2009?)===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another sweetheart to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref>.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her, not realizing that burning is an incredibly painful way to die.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork.

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May attempted suicide over Mumble.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out]] to her on a YouTube video, with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. The only reason he offered as to why she shouldn't commit suicide was that he would be sad without her.

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also [[wikipedia:Shrove Tuesday|Shrove Tuesday]], a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes. Needless to say, Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt.

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails, the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-2009)===
In early [[2009]], Christian seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, though he was suspicious of the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for MAYS's death, and loudly denies that BILLY had ever been the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to MAYS's family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that MAYS was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris.

In ''Sonichu'' #9, Chris slaps in a one-page intro with BILLY saying that he was never was the Mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon."

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's failures.

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into issue #9. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of [[Slaweel]] and some weird faux-[[Transformers]] actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for Patti and BILLY.

===[[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo]] (d. 2009)===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss|mailbag]], Chris was asked by a [[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|troubled fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.|Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another woman right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters asking for advice, and then begging for help after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla Rosechu]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his dog. Finally, after being faced with the threat of legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in issue #10, though not before she laid an egg out of wedlock with her baby-daddy [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] (though, of course, the act of laying the egg was never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

Simonla's death apparently continued to haunt Chris long afterwards. This led to him [[Simonla Rosechu#Resurrection|reviving Simonla]] around [[May 2014]], more than four years after her demise. It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''. Simonla's death was as [[Chris and reality|real]] to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===[[Chandler Cats#Desi|Desi]] and [[Chandler Cats#Skittles|Skittles]] Chandler (precise date of deaths unknown; no later than 10 April 2010)===

In an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]], he [[Jackie E-mails#Chris is lazy, Hates simple chores|mentions having three cats]] (Lucy, Kitty and Scamper), despite the fact that he was previously known to have had two additional cats (Desi and Skittles). This suggests that by the time of the correspondence both had died, or had at least departed from [[14 Branchland Court]] in some other way. No documentation exists of Chris's reaction to their loss.

===[[Wikipedia:Murder of Yeardley Love|Yeardley Love]] (1987-2010)===
Yeardley Love was a lacrosse player for [[UVA]] who was murdered. Chris uploaded a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but didn't even bother to say her name. He also stated that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for [[Tobacky|smoking]]. Later in the video, [[Chris and his Ego|he rerouted the subject towards himself]] and stated how everyone needed to be sympathetic of him and his autism and that he's not a bad man. In other words, he used the death of a girl he never knew in an attempt to make himself look good.

===[[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1927-2011)===
After a long battle with cancer, Bob's life came to an end while he was being hospitalized in the [[wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]]'s ICU.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013)</ref> The fact that on the day Bob died Chris posted an online [[attraction sign]] in the form of a [[Facebook#What I am looking for in a woman|facebook note]] reflects poorly on him. However, he later told [[Jackie]] that ''"my heavier cries from my father's passing is really hitting me bad."'', and lamented that in a previous [[dreams|dream]] the Grim Reaper had promised that he would not claim Bob until 2015.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 31]]</ref>

In a March 31, 2012 Facebook message, Chris expressed a desire for Bob's ghost to haunt the dreams of anyone who doesn't like him, putting him on the exact same level as his dead dog. While this was an understandable reaction to discovering "plans" that trolls were going to dig her up, or discovering a webcomic that contained what he considered a mockery of her memory, his threat to send Bob's ghost after people is equal parts disrespectful and unreasonable.

In a [[Facebook]] post from [[June 2013|June]] of [[2013]], Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain about how he has to take time out of his day to [[Jerkop|"serve and protect"]] [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]]. Knowing Chris, this presumably means that he sat around in [[Chris's room|his room]] playing [[vidya]] while his elderly father did most of the [[chores|work around the house]].

===[[Barbara Chandler]] (1941-)===
Barbara, much like [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] before his death, has been experiencing many illnesses in the past few years. Barbara suffers from obesity, and this contributes to her poor health, examples of which include oversleeping and bed sores. In [[August 2013]], Chris revealed that Barbara is now a breast cancer survivor, which reveals that she suffers from far more serious health problems than initially thought. It may not be long before Barbara keels over as well, which would ultimately leave Chris with no coddling matriarch to provide support for or keep him company, and in the grander scheme of things, without parents.

Even today, where everyone's favorite manchild will go from there remains a mystery, especially since it was revealed in an [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Reality_Comes_Knocking|October 2013 Facebook post]] that Chris considers Barbara to be one of the few people who gives meaning and purpose to his life.

===Chris himself (1982-)===
Given Chris's notoriously [[Obesity|bad diet]], lack of [[Chris and health|activity]], [[14 Branchland Court|hygiene]] or [[Chris and the Internet|social interaction]], on top of a complete lack of [[Fuck Quest|motivation]] or [[Chris and remorse|concern]] for anything other than himself, it is generally considered unlikely that Chris will live very far into his forties should he persist in his current lifestyle.

However, there is a likelihood that like [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], who had suffered from (and eventually passed away as a result of) [[Heart level|heart failure]] and [[alcohol]]ism, he may be genetically dispositioned to lead a long, albeit miserable life. In comparison though, Chris's own death is naturally [[Chris and his Ego|the only one that immediately concerns him]], since it would be the only thing that would put an end to his [[Love Quest]] once and for all.

{{quote|And Believe Me, IN DREAMS, and even IN MOMENTS within my mind while AWAKE, I HAVE SEEN AND FELT That Death Light. Not only is it the Most Horrifying Thing Ever, but I am [[Chris and English|LOOOONG NOT READY FOR IT YET]].|Chris, on his visions of death.}}

In a conversation with the CWCipedia Sysop, Chris once mentioned that he had been receiving [[Dreams|recurring visions]] of himself walking into a bright light, which he one day hoped would be prevented from appearing by getting a [[sweetheart]]. However, judging by how unlikely it is that he will ever enter any meaningful relationship with someone within his [[Attraction Sign|obsessive standards]] and willing to put up with him and his numerous faults, these visions will most likely persist until the inevitable day it comes true.

In a recent [[Facebook]] post during Halloween 2013, Chris stated that he has become so [[stress|stressed]], that he has contemplated suicide multiple times. According to Chris, the only reasons he hasn't done it are [[Barbara|painfully]] [[Clover_and_Snoopy|obvious]]. This shows just how much Chris's [[psychology|mentality]] has drained, and how badly he needs the professional help he so stubbornly refuses to get. In all seriousness, suicide is no laughing matter, and this should be looked at with caution. Of course, this could be Chris exaggerating, trying to gain pity, as he has done in the past.

===Various ancestors===
Chris claimed that, at Aunt Corrina's funeral, his ancestors wished him a safe [[Ohio trip|trip to Ohio]] to meet Julie.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Dead]]

Slow-in-the-minds

2014-08-26T07:56:46Z

Dick Banton:

{{Quote|I do not feel comfortable associating with other autistic people, especially the non-high-funcional [sic]; it would be like looking through a Window to Hell to me.|Chris on other autistic people, [[IRC (17 December 2008)]]}}

[[Image:FavorDaStraights.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] is also a slow-in-the-mind]]

"'''Slow-in-the-minds'''" and "'''slow minded'''" are [[CWC-isms]] that refer to developmentally disabled, cognitively delayed, crazy, and/or generally unintelligent people. (Other than [[Chris]] himself, of course.) The term was first seen in [[Chris]]'s school project "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]."

"Slow-in-the-minds" hits a fine trifecta of points. One, it displays Chris's arrogance, seeing as how it applies to so many classes of people, all of whom he considers "slower" than he. Two, it shows Chris's lip-service attention to fitting in to society, since it's a piss-poor euphemism on its own and even worse when used in a school project. Three, there's a delicious irony in Chris decrying students who are "slow in the mind", even though [[Honor roll|his own mental aptitude is dubious]].

In a number of responses from the [[Mailbag]], Chris has explained that he finds the mentally challenged (especially those who also have physical [[duck|deformities]]) creepy, and likens them to zombies.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref> Chris's bigotry extends to his fellow [[Autism|autistics]] — he speaks in incredibly cruel and derisive terms about the various mental and physical problems that are thrust upon these innocent individuals, whereas he (as a self-proclaimed "[[Chris and his Ego|high-functioning]]" autistic) is pure and clean.

Despite that he seems to hardly consider low functioning autistics human, he often styles himself as a spokesperson for autism, making a stand against [[Asperger Syndrome]] in the non-existent conflict between autism and Aspergers. This delusion is made most apparent in the [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article on Aspergers]]. It has been suggested he says this to make himself look good and complain that he should be receiving the care and attention that those with Aspergers receive.

Chris seems to interpret the "high-functioning" part of his diagnosis as a compliment, giving him the best of both worlds ... he can blame any of his shortcomings on his autism, but still console himself with the fact that he's "high-functioning" and therefore better than the "slow-in-the-minds".

[[Image:Chris_and_Rule_34.jpg|thumb|Again.]]

==Uses by Chris==
Chris's use of this term has evolved over the years. Early on, he pointedly distinguished between the "slow-minded" and himself. In late 2009 and onward, however, he began referring to himself as "a little slow" or "sometimes slow," once he discovered he could use it as an excuse for his many failings.

*Chris's high-school assignment [[A Week With Christian Chandler]] includes the earliest known use of "slow-in-the-minds."
*[[Sub-Episode 6]], when exploring the ecology of the [[Jerkop]], notes that "slow-minded people" are susceptible to becoming Mary Lee Walsh's rent-a-cop slaves. (Chris adds that because he is, of course, not slow in the mind, he is immune to the "hypno-gun" that brainwashes the Jerkops.)
*[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]] features, among other things, Chris attempting to correct the "misconception" that he is a "slow-minded person."
*In a [[IRC (18 December 2008)|December 2008 IRC chat]], when asked to give an example of learning from his mistakes, Chris said, "when it was spelled out for me that a sign by my side made me look slow-minded, when clearly I am not."
*Chris mentions the same incident in a [[Chris_E-mails_2007#February|2007 e-mail]] to his old schoolteacher Virginia Sanford: "I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the 'R' Word."
*Conversing with his "fans" in [[Mumble 8]], Chris claimed, "For the record, I'm not- I'm not slow in the mind."
*While mocking a (legitimately mentally disabled) fan of his [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Naïve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|on YouTube]], Chris said, "You’re so [[naïve]] and slow in the mind."
*During the [[Father Call]], Chris says, "I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments."
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|CWCipedia article]] on Asperger's syndrome, Chris admits that "my mentality is sometimes slow."
*While begging off from some of the difficult questions he faced in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]], Chris whines about how "Sometimes my mind's a little slow."
*In the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris referred to Virginia gubernatorial candidates [[Wikipedia:Bob McDonnell|Bob McDonnell]] and [[Wikipedia:Creigh Deeds|Creigh Deeds]] as being "not so swift."
*In [[Jackie Chat 8]], Chris admits that "I sometimes feel mentally slow."
*Likewise, in a July 2010 [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mail to Jackie]], he says "I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such." This becomes a recurring theme in Chris's conversations with Jackie, as he repeatedly tries to use his "slow-mindedness" as an excuse. The [[Jackie E-mails 20|20th collection of e-mails]] has a few good examples.
*Talking about his high-school days in the [[Lars Call]], Chris says "Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before."

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]
*[[Jackie Chat 9]], where Chris discusses his experiences on the short bus.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

OkCupid

2014-08-22T07:29:24Z

Dick Banton:

'''OkCupid''', one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as [[Match.com]], OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for [[Chris and money|free]], only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] joined this one with high hopes.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|OkCupid profile screencap ]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it quickly, and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of [[True and Honest]] [[China|love]]. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual [[sex]]."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile. After a short time, the profile was hacked by [[troll]]s.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and [[Plagiarism|Creative.]]

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[naive|young at heart]]. I'm currently writing a [[comic]] book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit [[Autism|shy]], but I would enjoy the company of [[Boyfriend-free girl|a beautiful girl]] who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of [[Jerks|men]] make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise [[Monthly tugboat|care]], [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, ect, all of which Chris left blank.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu." This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex-obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively harmless. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm [[Pedofork|young at heart]]. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would [[Sex|enjoy the company]] of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from [[high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on [[PS3|my projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Chris and art|crafting]], [[The MovingFoward videos|making well-thought decisions]], [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to [[The Creepy Stare|my face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein]]; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "[[Sonichu]]'s Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''English Translation: I am an Autistic functioning at a high level, and I am a virgin searching for my pretty girlfriend.''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the second version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|making well-thought decisions]], [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and [[Speech impediment|easy to converse with]].

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -Sex
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -Sex
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
 -My good health.
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}

On or around June 12, Chris revisited his OKCupid entry and updated it briefly. Beyond an extra line, Chris added in a new section to the list. [[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet, our ass.]]

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the third version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

I am compassionate, reliable, and honest

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My [[Health|good health]].
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.
 -[[McDonalds|Food]]/[[Coca-Cola|Water]]

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====I'm Looking For====
 * Girls who like guys
 * Ages 21-28
 * Near me
 * Who are single
 * For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

[[File:Dat-thinning.jpeg|thumb|Evidence of Chris' marked decline in health.]]

As of February 2013, Chris's profile has been updated once again. The latest version of his profile now features new references to [[Tomgirl|tomgirlism]] and a considerable de-emphasis on the importance of quick sex. Particularly notable about this update is the addition of a new photo, showing Chris to have a [[Chris and Health|sickly blue complexion]], thinning uncut hair, and worsening [[obesity]]. This apparent decline in health is hardly suprising, considering Chris' sedentary lifestyle and gratuitous consumption of [[McDonald's]].

Also of note is Chris' insistence that all potential dates "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS", a mantra he has repeated on his [[Facebook]] profile and even in personal correspondence, referring people who wish to know more about him to the [[CWCki]] while simultaneously instructing them to IGNORE ALL DEROGATORY CONTENT. Obviously, Chris has failed to realize the paradoxical effect of preemptively instructing people to ignore anything bad they may read about him, only serving to further interest in his autistic antics.

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the fourth version.
|-
|

====My self-summary====
I am an all-around, [[Toys|emotionally mature]], good natured, high-functioning [[Autism|autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[Cwcville]], VA. ([[Chris and reality|IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS]])

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant [[Stress|heartaches]].

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Future Wife from the ground up]]. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had [[Julie|bad]] [[Ivy|online]] [[Jackie|experiences]] numerously from a lot of [[Trolls|fake people]]. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be.

====[[PS3|What I’m doing with my life]]====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[Sonichu (comic)|projects]] and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, [[28 October 2011|making well-thought decisions]], heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====[[Axe|The first things people usually notice about me]]====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food====
[[Goosebumps]] or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
*My iPhone.
*My creative genius.
*My good health.
*My glasses.
*Food/Water.

====[[Sex|I spend a lot of time thinking about]]====
[[Attraction Sign|How]] and [[Fridays After Five|where]] to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
I am Very Interested in pleasantly livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Compassionate]] And Passionate.

====I’m looking for====

* Straight girls only
* Ages 25–30
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not [[Niggos|black]] (no personal offense), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) [[Honest Content|Honest]], Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA, H) financially stable ([[Monthly tugboat|I get along fair and surviving]]), and You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.

|}

{{clear}}
==LevelUpKing Profile==
[[File:LevelUpKing okcupid profile screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg|thumb|Screenshot of profile]]
In July 2014, a [[CWCki Forums]] member found yet another OkCupid profile that Chris created.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/updated-okc-profile.4193</ref>

===About===
'''My self-summary''' 
I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm [[List of Chris's lies|genuine]] about how I feel and [[Chris and hypocrisy|I stick to my beliefs]]. I care about those closest to me, especially [[Cole Smithey|my family]]. I have a [[Things Chris has ripped off|big imagination]] and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm [[slow-in-the-minds|a little scatterbrained]], so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

'''What I’m doing with my life''' 
Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at''' 
Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me''' 
[[Tomgirl Pictures|My fashion. ;)]]

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food''' 
Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without''' 
No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about''' 
How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am''' 
At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|The most private thing I’m willing to admit]]''' 
I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for immediate in person meeting with me.

'''I’m looking for''' 
*Girls who like guys
*Ages 23–32
*Near me
*Who are [[Boyfriend-free girl|single]]
*For [[gal pal|new friends]], long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''You should message me if''' 
YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please. 
And if you are single, caring, compassionate, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY or ASAP. :)

"My Details"

Orientation: [[Homos|straight]]

Ethnicity: [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White]]

Height: 5`10"(1.78m)

Body type: [[obesity|Average]]

Diet: [[McDonald's|Mostly anything]]

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: [[Chris and religion|christianity]], and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it`s fun to think about

Education: graduated from two-year college

Job: other

Income: [[monthly tugboat|-]]

Relationship status: single

Relationship type: [[Vanessa Hudgens|strictly monogamous]]

Offspring: [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|doesn`t have kids but wants them]]

Pets: has cats and has dogs

Speaks: [[Chris and English|english]](fluently), [[Spanish|spanish]](okay)
-----------------------------------
It should be noted that as of this edit (July 9th, 2014), Chris had answered at least 1,333 questions (that's 134 pages).

== He Might Be... ==
The chart OkCupid generated to summarize Chris compares his traits against other members of the site, claiming that he might be "more morally conventional", "[[Chris and religion|more spiritual]]", "[[Chris and art|more artsy]]", "more sloppy", "worse mannered", "[[Chris and sex|less sex driven]]", "[[Barbara Chandler|less independent]]", "[[Chris and remorse|less compassionate]]", "[[Love quest|less experienced in love]]", "[[Chris and his ego|less arrogant]]", "[[Chris and reality|less scientific]]", and "less experienced in life" than the average OkCupid user.

Take that however you like.

===Photos===
<center><gallery>
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 1.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 2.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 3.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 5.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg
File:LevelUpKing okcupid personality screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Match.com]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpKing Chris's third OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

User:Dick Banton

2014-08-22T07:14:55Z

Dick Banton:

{{Quote|He's an expectant! Nothing we can do!}}

'''Dick Banton''' created the page for the [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]]. That's about the extent of his contributions to the CWCki thus far, other than nit-picky grammatical corrections. He's been known to follow Christory for the past six years, partially out of interest in Chandler's ongoing descent into madness, but mostly for the self-congratulations of 'at least you weren't THAT bad during high school'. Unrealistically plans on enjoying [[Chris and health|many years]] of continued [[Laughs Under Lucricities|loloz]].

User talk:Boomhauer

2014-08-21T06:32:32Z

Dick Banton: /* Chris and Science */

Having a little trouble uploading images, and couldn't find it anywhere in the Contents:Help or related sections.

Thanks ahead for any information on it.

== Chris and Science ==

Thinking about creating a new section on Chris's "views" of science, tying in [[Chris and reality|Chris and reality]] and [[Chris and religion|Chris and religion]]. If anyone's interested, please let me know, as I don't want to create a whole article if it's unnecessary. Thanks ahead for any feedback.

* I would argue that it's unnecessary to tie the two together. We don't need the same things said on two pages stretched onto a third. [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 06:32, 21 August 2014 (UTC)

== File upload titling ==
I appreciate all of the new content, but I recommend that you use titles for the files that are more specific and don't run the risk of trampling on other filenames. So instead of 'Sonichu fanart' you could use 'Sonichu vs. Chaos Beast' or instead of 'but in the stone stage' you could use 'Back in the Stone Age Collage'. --[[User:Singel Minory Comic|Singel Minory Comic]] ([[User talk:Singel Minory Comic|talk]]) 00:46, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback, I'll be sure to title the rest accordingly. Boomhauer (Boomhauer) 1:15, 19 August 2014 (UTC)

August 2014 Facebook Posts

2014-08-08T07:07:40Z

Dick Banton:

The following are a series of posts by Chris on Facebook in [[August 2014]].

==Fan items lost in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]]==

{{quotebox|2 August 2014

I just received a cute little plush [[Sonichu]] from a fan. It triggered the memory of the fire (it is not the sender's fault). Why? Because three fan presents were hanging on a wall in the [[Chris's room|bedroom upstairs]].

A bigger plush Sonichu with short arms and legs, big head, average body. A Sonichu face oil painting on fabric. And the [[Medallions#Asperchu Medallion|Asperchu Medal]] in its small box.

To the up to three people who made those items, I am terribly sorry, but they were all lost in the fire. And I miss those three items now more than ever. I don't know who y'all are, but y'all know who you are.

Also, please help my family and I get through this month, and hopefully fix my [[Barbara Chandler|mom]]'s teeth, by buying my time to draw commissions for you, or better, buy my featured framed pieces (three more are going to be added next week).}}

==Need more [[money]]==

{{quotebox|3 August 2014

Please help us here. I am serious about it, plus my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and I have bills to pay, and we need the money for real. Now, I even do not have money to ship my more recent orders. I did raise over two Gs last month, but that money was spent on bills, the printer ink cartridges, shipping all of the orders from the past month, some [[Lego]], and food for my family. So, don't give me doubt about my honesty.

My mother seriously has cavities in her teeth, and I sincerely want to help pay for her required dental work. And we have bills to pay that the [[Monthly tugboat|usual income]] just can not cover.}}

To which Spirit Plumber replied:

{{quoteboxred|Maybe budget a bit better next time, skip on the Legos, for example. I don't have any more work for you at this time.}}

and [[Kim Wilson]] replied:

{{quoteboxgreen|Oh, Christian Weston Chandler, you know your ebay says are finite, right? Market's tight for Sonichu related merchandise.}}

==Chris explaining [[Chris and money|where the money goes]]==
{{quotebox|5 August 2014

Oh, Good Grief. For your information, my recent eBay purchases were Mostly for the future plan of selling [[lego]] custom minifigures of my main [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] characters to sell on eBay. I have particular color requirements on the torsos, legs, and hips, and Scratchy's Tail is perfect for most of their tails. I replaced my Vampyre Castle, Thespian, Detective and Bat People, ALL of which melted in that damn [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] last January. I replaced the Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs that [[Megan Schroeder]] conned out of me YEARS ago, FINALLY! And the cases are for the shipment of said custom minifigures. Anyway, that makes up about Less than a quarter of 2,000. The remainder went into bill payments, Shipping, Printer Ink, Shipping Tape, Shipping Brown Paper, Tens of Portfolio Folders, and everything else needed there, as well as FOOD FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.}}

==Hmmph!==
{{quotebox|5 August 2014

Back off, you darn bullies; my family and I seriously need the money. I pay the monthly mortgage which kills most of my [[Tugboat|monthly]], you dumbasses! Hmmpf!

[[File:CWC_Facebook_MLP_Image_8-5-2014.jpg|220px]]}}

==Vicious Vibes==
{{quotebox|5 August 2014

With the recent bullying I am receiving yesterday and today, it is the comic book forced ending and early retirement all over again.

All of these most vicious vibes, I am feeling less inspired to even consider going back to the comic books and all of that.

Why do you all have to bully people so [[Chris and English|viciously and needless]]. To the Left with ALL OF YOU.}}

To which Jennifer Wilson replied:
{{quoteboxred|But who is bullying you?}}

==tl;dr==
{{quotebox|7 August 2014

<nowiki>**</nowiki>ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!**

I am long devastated and exhausted of all of the hate I have been receiving from the people who are not only labeled "Bad", "[[Trolls]]" and "Bullies", but absolutely none of you all know anything better than what impulsively comes into your aging and decreasing brains!

All of you impulsively choose those you consider to be weak, stupid (even misusing the word, [[Homos|gay]], [[Chris and hypocrisy|to define something or someone as STUPID)]], or even somewhat remotely better than yourselves just so you can downsize their self confidence and ego, when you have absolutely no self confidence or ego in yourselves.

You all are Misaiming your anger and impulsive hatred to someone who is not even remotely related to you or even remotely involved in your own lives.

All of you are NOT angry at ME; all of you are NOT angry at Britney Spears, Pamela Anderson, Katy Perry or any female superstar; all of you are NOT angry at Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Jay Leno or any male superstar; all of you are NOT angry at anyone else similar or different or whatever.

All of you are Truly Angry at the Misfortunes in your own individual lives; All of you are Truly Angry at the actual Local People around you who have shunned you or labeled you wrongfully, so that you'll end up throwing those same labels upon innocent people who do not deserve that kind of emotional devastation at all! And the people who wrongfully labeled you all individually have had those same labels directly, wrongfully bestowed onto them, or otherwise indirectly learned from someone else who was wrongfully labeled as well.

All of you are wrong to throw your own hatred of those around you who more appropriately deserve it, onto any other person who does not deserve it to begin with.

Wars get started, because those people and all of you Do Nor Have Any Better Ideas; all of them and you solely take the immediate impulse that falls in a second, to hurt someone else in an unrequited attack on that individual or someone else who did not deserve it to begin with.

Every Individual in this world is NOT Perfect; Every Individual in this world has some sort of Mental Defect or Physical Problem or Emotional Devastation albeit minuscule or more grand than the size of the universe. There is NO real Strong Person, because those Strong People are all Weak as well in some area.

And the [[Chris and religion|Higher Force]] above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.

If all of you bullies really want to be angry at someone, Do Not Pester and Torture the Innocent People who did not deserve it to begin with. Go take it up with the Higher Force which had tweaked that individual person or situation upon yourself in your own prayers. It may or may not listen, but at least you can speak it out of your system in private rants and shouts in your own domicile, residence or hole in the ground.

And then nobody else on this planet would have to take any unrequited abuse or feel more devastated or hurt than they each already are in their own way.

Why is someone else's life indirect to your own immediately any important enough that they need to be tortured? Let them all just Be: Let Us All Live!

<nowiki>***</nowiki>[[Stress sigh|sigh]]***}}

It's worth noting that Chris 'liked' his own status, widely considered to be a Facebook ''faux pas''.

He later responded to his own post in an appallingly nonsensical manner:
{{quotebox|
And if you want an accurate image for the neutral Higher Force, there is none better than Matt Groening's cluster I stars in Futurama that Bender converses with.}}

Then [[Kim Wilson]], potentially tiring of Chris's self deprecating postings, responded with this:

{{quoteboxred|I'm sorry Chris, but to tell the truth, the "self-hatred motivation" for bullying actually doesn't happen. It's largely a cliche from 80's and early 90's television, and it's not really real. It was manufactured to help kids who get bullied feel more smug about themselves.

While that's useful for children in middle school, it's very damaging to kids in high school, because it kills their ability to make relationships.

In fact, the people who criticize you are often very successful and happy. They have social lives, jobs and relationships. They have lots of sex with their romantic partners. LOTS OF SEX! OMG! :O It would amaze you.

A better lesson to take here is to consider what these people say. If there's too much abuse, feel free to ignore the abuse. But keep in mind that any criticism is valuable, no matter whose mouth it came out of. It helps you improve yourself.

Have a good day today!

<nowiki>:)</nowiki>}}

[[Anna McLerran]]'s white knighting:

{{quoteboxgreen|this is amazing. and so true.}}

==Reserve of money==

{{quotebox|7 August 2014

I want to make it clear now that I do now have a reserve of money, and I AM ABLE TO SHIP YOUR PURCHASES as soon as the next day for photos, and the day following completion of the commission pieces. So, please do not hesitate to make me work. I would still only ship and draw after receiving payment. Thank you, and have a good day. — <nowiki>:)</nowiki> feeling happy.}}

To which Facebook user Do No Harm responded:

{{quoteboxred|
Yay! Glad you're back in action! I have your piece framed in the living room and everyone who comes over loves it.}}

{{Facebook}}
[[Category:Facebook]]

Cole Smithey

2014-08-02T11:40:26Z

Dick Banton:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Coles.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 51)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (father) [[Barbara Chandler]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| Katherine (2013-present)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 email #3]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s first son, and lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. Despite sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole leads a relatively normal life. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's emails to Chris]] revealed a lot of information about the Chandler family.

==Life==

===Childhood===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook. Notice the physical similarity.]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Retired life (0:16:59–0:24:22)]]</ref> As a child, Cole claims to have been physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref name="email">[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she wasn't.<ref name="email" /> Cole suspected and later confirmed the identity of his father to be [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who was introduced as a friend of the family and visited when Cole was a child.

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole recounts his coming to age. This includes a particular event where Barbara fires a loaded gun at a steel door to ward off a burglar, the resulting ricochet of which almost striking young Cole in the head. These events have obviously had a lasting impression on him.

===Move to California===
Cole left home for California, attended San Diego State University from 1981–84, and earned degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981–85.<ref>[http://www.sandiegoreader.com/bands/rockin-dogs/ The Rockin' Dogs | San Diego Reader]</ref>

===Present===
Cole currently lives in Manhattan and is a film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He was mentioned once in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref> He occasionally hosts [[eBay]] auctions for the winning bidder to spend a night drinking with him, proving that despite one half-brother being a pretentious hipster douchebag, and the other being an emotionally stunted autistic manchild, they both share the same [[Chris and his Ego|bloated ego]].<ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drink-Craft-Beer-in-NYC-with-Film-Critic-Cole-Smithey-/291052352033?hash=item43c4127221</ref>

Cole regularly posts his reviews to YouTube, but his videos have hilariously low viewcounts, rarely more than a few hundred per video and sometimes not even more than a few ''dozen'', even on reviews of well-known films. Whatever the reason, this means that, ironically, the various videos Chris posted to YouTube over the years were literally many thousands of times more popular than those of his theoretically more successful brother.

By [[March 2007]], Cole was in a relationship with a woman named Katherine.<ref name="Email" /> This is most likely the same Katherine he married in [[March 2013]].<ref name="JohnKyleVid">[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aitxArbd0o John Kyle - Three Love Songs at Katherine and Cole's Wedding] (retrieved on 24 February 2014)</ref>

{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole was not on good terms with [[Bob]] or [[Barbara]]. According to Cole, [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. He has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref name="email" /> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks to be informed when Bob dies so he can celebrate.<ref name="Email">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence contradicting her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]]. In a leaked e-mail sent to [[Jackie]] on 14 May 2011, Chris wrote that "he has had mental problems since he hit his head on a bus, and has taken it out heavily on our mother." Some argue the story could be a lie Barbara told Chris to explain Cole's bitterness towards her while masking the issue that actually caused it.

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own. Chris has [[Message_for_John_Kyle|recently complained]] that Cole is ignoring Barb's attempts to get in touch with him. It would seem that Cole has left his mother to her own devices.

{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, for much of his life Cole has actually gotten along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb, and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of Chris on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by trying to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being [[Ohio trip|his trip to Ohio]] to save [[Julie]]).

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an email asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts had died a month prior.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how [[Chris and his Ego|self-absorbed]] he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris. To date, these remain the last known communications between the half-brothers.

In [[2013]], Chris got back into [[Twitter#29_June_2013|contact with Cole]] on Twitter, basically telling him to come back home so he could [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|dump his responsiblities of taking care of his mother on him]] and go on his [[Sweetheart Search]]. He also suggested that Cole had some mental/physical problems of his own ''(even talking down to him at one point)'' right before activating the "Playing for Sympathy" card, lamenting his time in jail. Cole has yet to respond.

Chris also made another attempt to contact Cole, this time through video. He recorded a message directed to John Kyle,<ref name="Message">[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> Cole's brother-in-law who sang at his wedding.<ref name="JohnKyleVid" /> In said video Chris expressed anger at Cole for not inviting him and Barb to his wedding. From Chris's words in the video we can learn that it was made a "few months" after Cole's wedding and near Barb's 72nd birthday. If a "few months" is taken to mean at least three months, we can deduce the video was made around June-September 2013.

===Cole in the comics===
On the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed as the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:0425-CwcvilleBandStand2.jpg|Chris's gift to Cole in [[1998]]
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
Image:Colesmithyrockingdogs.jpg|Cole playing drums.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/colesmithey/ Cole's YouTube channel]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Love Quest

2014-07-30T06:53:18Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173217 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]]<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.9]]</ref>.}}
{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}
[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[File:Tumblr lg8dq2DmiR1qbc13do1 500.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression of Chris on his Love Quest.]]
The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> is the ongoing, real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to obtain a girlfriend. The stated purpose of the Love Quest is to meet the woman who will be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his children. However, Chris believes all of this will be assured upon his first successful [[Chris and sex|sexual intercourse]] with a woman, and so for all practical purposes the true goal is to lose his virginity.

Chris is known to have had crushes on girls prior to [[2002]], but the Love Quest represents a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfillment, except improve himself. He has often linked the Love Quest with what he claims to be visions from [[GodJesus]] commanding him to father [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a daughter]], as well as his desire to prove that he is straight; at times these seem to be the only actual reasons Chris wants a lover.

To this day, the Love Quest is ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. He has [[Facebook|claimed]] to have enjoyed partial success to the extent of losing his virginity. However, as with other [[Honor roll|achievements Chris claims to possess]], it is still the subject of debate.
==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Hammer]] during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian, "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]." Chris unexpectedly learned that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his mix of longing and disappointment by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. (This acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation - see the [[Megan]] section below.)

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he does add that it may have had something to do with some remarks he made about fellow classmates and non-white people<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). While waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, realizing there was no one to comfort him like when he cried at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref>, suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans out of sheer laziness.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be assumed that his initial approach was to walk up to women cold, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]] (sometimes "single, boyfriend-free girl"), as if this were not already obvious.

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' business card.]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea I could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue (possibly with a song and dance) about seeking true love; and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, but over the years Chris has demonized her into a brutal harpy whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him.

Undaunted, Chris simply made a new sign, and a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy, leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, since Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend. According to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in this idiot's pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!", exactly like they do in movies. The entire incident was a crippling blow to Chris's self-esteem and the kind of thing that would be embarrassing for anyone. He also apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall again. Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He interpreted this to mean he was not banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. According to Chris, the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him...

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering once again. Chris refused to leave at first. When store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation; in reality, it's more likely that they saw he would not surrender and tried to arrest him peacefully, and he resisted to the point that they had to completely subdue him out of fear of his 'tard rage.

In the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him for more than five minutes (although she compliments him for tolerating ''her''). In Chris's mind Megan was already destined to be his sweetheart, and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]. All of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was largely unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_does_not_regret_the_Meganporn_and_claims_drawing_it_helped_prevent_him_raping_her]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Encyclopedia Dramatica did not ruin Chris's relationship with Megan, but Chris's obsession with defeating ED definitely did, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly is and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and not the fact that he drew it in the first place. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008, until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this. At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing - a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Chris maintains a profile on OKCupid, but does not seem to have visited in several months. His OKCupid profile is about what you would expect in terms of portraying himself and demanding what he expects from the girl in the relationship.

==Beyond the 'Net==
Chris's stated ambition to [[100 2189|leave the Internet forever]] suggests that he may return to looking for love in the real world. His visit to the Charlottesville [[Fridays After Five]] event in June 2010 featured a drastically shortened version of the old Attraction Sign scrawled across the front of his [[muscle bra|sports bra]].

Whether he'll stick with this approach remains to be seen, however. He has never been able to stay away from the Internet for long, and it's hard to imagine that his current strategy for pulling girls in real life will work out very well for him.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==Fuck Side Quest Completed==

On 12 April 2012, the following status message from Chris's [[Facebook]] was leaked:

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

Given the short time it took for them to meet and do the nasty (in ''her'' room, no less), her comparing him to her last partner and [[Lie|telling him what he wants to hear]] about his [[Duck|dick]], and the extremely telling fact that Chris does not consider her a sweetheart (saying his 'sweetheart-to-be' will find out about this), it seems rather plausible. In retrospect, it makes a [[Hooker_incident|certain statement]] he made to a certain [[Clyde Cash|troll]] all the more hilarious, where he states that him getting a hooker would not be the ideal way for his "Love Quest" to end.

Considering Chris's [[Lie|track record for telling the truth, however...]]

==Promotional Images==
During his Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Needless to say, it had the opposite effect.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Guitar|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Jackie E-mails 24

2014-07-30T06:53:04Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173218 by RealityDetached (talk)

On 7 [[December 2010]], only a couple of weeks after Chris had cut contact with her, Jackie renewed her correspondence with him. While several videos Chris made for Jackie after the renewal of their relationship were eventually leaked,<ref>For the relevant examples see [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]].</ref> no recording of the pair's communications have been revealed until 27 [[April 2013]], when an email from Chris to Jackie dated 5 [[August 2011]] was leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].<ref>It is now located on [[Jackie E-mails 31]] as the next to last email.</ref> Further [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?y1pp1lop9wx6hdv emails] between the two spanning from December 2010 to [[July 2011]] were leaked on 6 [[May 2013]]. Another email dated 7 [[September 2011]] was leaked separately on the CWCki Forums, and can now be seen at the bottom of [[Jackie E-mails 31]].

Note: Some of the names in these emails have been redacted in order to defend the innocent.

{{Email|December 7, 2010 - 7:15pm

Hey Chris! How's it going? Just wanted to check in. How is the outside socialization thing going? Have you met a lot of new people or gone new places since you stopped talking to me? Or are you still just sitting alone playing [[video games]] all day? The [[PSN]] counts as internet you know, so you're being a [[hypocrite]] if you're still enslaved to that thing.

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|December 7, 2010 - 7:36pm

Hey, Jackie. Well, currently, I'm not making much progress in making new friends, but I have been going out more. I am still frozen and clammed up in mass public.

And for your information, I said SOCIALIZING on the Internet was bad, NOT the whole Internet in general. Yet while I do sometimes play on
[[PlayStation Home|PSHome]], a social Gaming Network, I still am frozen in that public setting with my Avatar, and I mainly focus on the Single-Player exploring and play.

How are things with you and Lars?

Stay Safe and Well,
Christian.}}
{{Email|December 7, 2010 - 8:03pm

Well, Lars and I are doing okay. He's still in addiction counseling right now - not that he's had any problems or relapses or such, but he's being proactive and just setting up a good support system for himself. We're both looking into the future, you know how it is.

I guess I was confused when you said the internet was bad. What exactly about internet socialization is so bad? Is it just about the trolls you've met? Or is it because none of your relationships online have worked out thus far?

You know, maybe you should try going on [[facebook]]. I know you used to do well talking to people there a long time ago. And plus, the thing about facebook is that trolling can't really work on facebook. Maybe join a group on there and chat up some new people, share your common interests. You could use [[JenkinsJinkies|an alter ego]] if you want, since I know you wouldn't want people searching for the name Christian Weston Chandler. Just a thought.

Jackie}}
{{Email|December 19, 2010 - 8:42pm

Hey Chris! Long time no talk. What's been happening with you lately? I just wanted to see how things are going.}}
{{Email|December 21, 2010 - 7:31pm

Wow Chris, you must be on that PSN even more than you ever have been before if you can't even take the time to spend two minutes writing to me. I thought you wanted to work on building social skills?}}
{{Email|December 21, 2010 - 7:47pm

Wow, you must be busy these days. I hope offline socialization is working out for you.

But hey, I found something while perusing the internet that you might be interested in. It's a dating site for people that are kind of shy like yourself and are sometimes socially awkward, so they're much more open and understanding to your sort of situation. Now I know what you'll say, you don't want to meet people online, but this site has an extremely stringent scanning process to weed out fake information - there's no possible way for a [[troll]] or faker to get membership. You'll have to give your real address and other such information in order to confirm yourself, and everyone else has to do the same. I recommend you try it out: https://www.wewaited.com/index.php

Let me know how it goes!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|December 22, 2010 - 9:46pm

Thank you
for the suggestiion. I have looked over the front page and bookmarked. I will keep it in mind and consider it well. I'm still in little luck in real life socializing, but I am getting out more. On the other hand, now the Trolls are stalking me through my PSN; they're claiming a "bug" is in my console, but the ONLY real bug was in my Friends List, with ANY of the latter being their "reporter". So I cleared it out. I know this, because they've added a "[[:Template:PSNTracker|PSNTracker]]" template on their damn CWCki. For [[Christmas]] this year, I would really like EVERY last webpage of every website the Trolls have created against me; EVERY last HTML code, EVERY last image, EVERY last Link and Reference to them, Including the CWCki and Especially the whole damn Encyclopedia Dramatica... GONE, DELETED, WIPED OFF from the face of the Internet and the World FOREVER, never to be revived, recreated or reuploaded again ever. So then I won't be portrayed as a monster, because I am not a monster. I am a near-normal Straight Human Male like every other Straight Human Male on this planet. *sigh*

You all have a Merry Christmas, and Stay Safe,
Christian.}}
{{Email|February 25, 2011 - 7:15pm

Hey Chris! Long time no talk, but I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Hope you had fun today.

What have you been doing with yourself lately? I hope you found someone special to share your special day with. Any major developments going on?

Well, just wanted to say hi. Hope to hear from you!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|March 26, 2011 - 4:47pm

Yes, it has been a long while since we last talked. At least since
Feb. 25 when you sent me the birthday greeting. First off, the e-mails
I am sending you are strictly confidential; do not share the content of
anything I sent to you with anyone, including Lars. I have gone
through an emotional 180, more or less, within the past month. In a
nutshell, I have grown my hair out, and continuing to let it grow. I
have learned the best term to describe me, Tomgirl. :) Yes, I am a
Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my
feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be
a full-blown you-know-what. I also have had my ears pierced with
[[Amnyfest Ring|amythest]] studs (my birthstone) recently. I have been more
self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts,
and I am greeting women left and right. Hello. ;) Also, here is
another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her
clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them
for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie. ;)

In addition to this update, I am sending you some fun photographs I
took recently (Only Linnea has seen them so far, and I do not want anyone
else to see them either; strictly confidential between the three of
us). I am being sassy in these photos; enjoy for your considersation alone.

Also, sadly, the local [[police]] have been on my back, because a Troll is pretending to be me, in simulated voice, AND in IP address. I have unplugged my wifi router and cable modem for the time being; only
plugging them in when I intend to go online at home. And my out-of-order PC Tower has been unplugged from power and internet. I am
sending this pair of e-mails from a laptop at Best Buy at this moment.
And at the moment, I am having trouble loading the AOL log-in page on
my consoles, so that's a bust at the moment. Please relay your replies
to me through Linnea, or hit me on my cell phone (if you still have my
number).

I have had you run through my mind now and then, Jackie; consider
dashing back for some [[Tomgirl]] sweetness. ;)

Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 18, 2011 - 4:01pm

Hey Chris! It's nice to hear from you. I hope you had a good [[birthday]].

Wow! It sounds like you've found a great niche for yourself with your new stylin' look and attitude. I'm happy for you! I know self-confidence has always been something you needed a little help with, I'm so glad that you've found something that gives you confidence and happiness. That's really what it's all about in life. If YOU know you're in charge, other people can't help but to notice that. Good for you!

I hope you're not mad, but I was so turned on by those pictures, I just couldn't keep it to myself... I showed those pictures to a friend of mine to see what she thought. She was kind of turned on, too! Don't worry, she's very trustworthy and she wouldn't do anything bad, I told her it was important that she keep it completely secret.

I hope you'll send me some more pictures... I liked the appetizer, but I'd really love a main course!

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 21, 2011 - 4:01pm

Well, sweetest Jackie, I did feel a bit bothered hearing that my photos
I shared with you in confidence was shared with someone else, but since
I am not finding it on the [[Cwcki]] or whatever, I forgive you. :-* <3
I am able to type e-mails from my Wii only here at the moment, but I am
planning on getting an inexpensive internet laptop within the next few
weeks (don't push me, sweetheart). I will send you a sampler of my
photos later, or I'll ask Linnea to forward them to you. Spoiler Alert; there is Makeup involved. ;) And I would appreciate you keeping the photos in strictest confidence between you, me, Linnea and your one friend ONLY; no one else, please.

And if you want to see the whole me put altogether, you are gonna have
to come over and meet me in [[Charlottesville|C-Ville]]. Also, please inform me of what the current score is between you and [[Lars]]; I would feel more comfortable if he was not part of your current life while you and I are
getting close. ;) And if you want it, my [[Duck|manlihood]] down here is at
your service upon scintilating request
I gtg get my car from the shop, but I await your reply. Call me to
schedule our meet. (434)-760-0848 Please leave a message with your
digits, so I can recognize you on my caller ID better, and so I can call you back.

Stay Safe with love (you never left my mind and my heart),
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 21, 2011 - 9:53pm

Oh, about Lars... he went on kind of a bender a few weeks ago, I haven't heard from him since. I still care about him but the whole romance thing is kind of cooled off with him. I'm hoping he and I can remain friends, though.

Anyway, I don't mean to make you worry, my friend is trustworthy and I won't share your pictures with anyone else. I look forward to seeing more of your photos! Speaking of, how is Linnea doing these days?

But let's take it a little slow here, I'm not really ready to meet you yet. You know what, as much as I like having you as a friend, I would be willing to consider taking it further again, but I don't want to rush into it right away. Let's re-establish our relationship on solid footing and take it from there. And besides, I'm still a tad reeling from Lars and I cooling off, I just want to make sure I'm in the right place before I do a heavy relationship again. (You wouldn't want to be just a rebound, would you?) I'm not trying to play hard to get, sweetie... I just want to catch my breath before you take it away again. :)

I want to see the new you, Chris. Just show me the goods. I'm sure I won't be disappointed. Besides, you want to give me incentive to come see you, right?

<3<3<3

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 21, 2011 - 10:50pm

It is cool. I understand, and I absoloutly would like to take your breath away in full swing. On one hand, I empathize with you on the loss of that relationship and worry, and on the other hand it is good news for me to hear that you're breaking it off with him on the romance.

Let's do it better this time; I feel it most beneficial for you to call
me on my cell at least twice a week; perhaps at about 8:00 PM on
Tuesdays and Fridays (negotiable). I feel it better to communicate
directly in verbal conversations over e-mails. I want you and me to
meet in person as soon as possible, at least mid-May; I allow you the
few weeks to recover, and it can be delayed with good reason and
discussion. It has been about half a year or so; a newer photo would
be appreciated. I've kept all of the previous photos of you saved on a little-used memory card here all to myself alone.

I took another look at them; you use a similar eye-shadow to what I
use. :) So, shared makeovers between you and I could be something
else fun to look forward to. :) I also feel uncertain of the nose and
lip jewelary; in person, I would feel better if you leave them off only
for like the first few times we meet, at least up until our first kiss
(I am still a mouth-virgin in that sense), and it would give me something to compare later on if the lip jewelry would make it better.

I will also share something else with you in confidence; for a while
after I had learned my word was "tomgirl", [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] felt uncomfortable
for a while after I shared that info with her (being almost 70 and
old-fashioned-minded). She got used to the idea after a couple of
weeks, then I started up with the makeup, which did make me more
self-confident, pretty and happier. My mother felt ill at ease upon
first instance. And later, she told me that she would not complain
about my makeup and tomgirl ways. Today, she was a major, complaining bitch; she hurt me heavily emotionally with that back-stabbing
[[Wikipedia:List_of_school_pranks#Indian_or_Chinese_burn|indian]]-giver attitude. And she just came up here shouted out more and
more commands and complaints. Obviously she has something else going on that is affecting this mood-swing, and she may go back to being nice soon. She still hurt me; I am damn happy being a Tomgirl, and she is not going to change that. She is also paranoid of me turning damn [[gay]] or becoming a [[Chris and English|transvestite]]. Neither of which is the case; I am very attracted to women, including your sweet self, Jackie. I am feeling that she won't let up until I finally bring home a girlfriend who loves me for me, and appreciates my tomgirl ways. And I do not know to many tomgirls around here in person to attempt to put her mind at ease.
Stressful.

I'll be okay, especially now that we're talking again, sweetheart. :)

Please call me very soon. I still have true feelings for you, Jacklyn, and it would mean a Lot to me if this time is THE time and you and I stay together for the remainder of our lives. But I digress. There's not that much rush; we have plenty of time.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
XOXOXOXO
Christian.

P.S.
[[Dana]] is doing good, and I will send the photos from a library computer tomorrow.}}
{{Email|April 22, 2011 - 7:35pm

Hey Chris!

I'm so sorry your mom is causing you grief right now. I guess the major change you're undergoing is a little bit of a shock for her, but she should still be supportive. What kinds of commands and complaints is she making to you? Do you have any idea what the thing going on in her life that is causing her to have a mood swing? Maybe you can help her with it. But it's good that you're standing your ground and refusing to stop being who you are and doing what makes you happy.

Now, about Lars... Please don't tell me how much time I need to get over MY relationship. These things can't just be planned out so exactly, when you break up with someone you can't just say "I need X days to get over it and then I'll be perfectly okay". It's a process. I'm not saying May is out of the question, I just can't put the cart in front of the horse. So let's just keep talking for right now. Like you say, there's not a rush, we have plenty of time, right?

Anyway, I'd love to talk to you on the phone, but my phone broke a couple months ago and I don't really have the cash to get a new one. There's a fancy new pair of chopsticks at the Asian store down at the mall I want to pick up and I'm saving my money for that. (Did I ever tell you that I like eating food with chopsticks? I just enjoy it better than using forks. Just a little quirk of mine, I guess.) So we might have to wait a while before I have a phone number to give you. Oh, and I'm gonna keep my piercings and makeup on the way I like too, by the way. Those things are part of what defines me, kind of like how being a tomgirl is what defines you. Isn't that part of why you like me? For what makes me me?

I look forward to seeing those photos tomorrow! I'll try to dig up a more recent photo of myself and get it to you.

XOXO

Jackie

P.S. You mentioned in your last email that you are getting a new laptop in a few weeks or something. What kind of laptop is it? I'm just curious. :)}}
{{EmailReply|April 23, 2011 3:42am

I meant no offense with your piercings, and you are soo right on
continuing to be you. And I like your makeup style. :) Also, I
apologize for making a schedule for relief time; it does take a lengthy
amount of time. I meant mid-May to be for when you and I can meet up;
again, we can discuss the meet date.

That is neat you have a thing for eating with chopsticks; I am capable
of eating with chopsticks too; I have had good practice in the past with the grub I ate at the korean church in Chesterfield Co. my family and I went to. I relate with your desire for fancy and pretty things.
Although IMHO, I would consider which is more of a "Want" or a "Need".
Do you need or want those chopsticks? Wouldn't that cell phone replacement be more beneficial to you? Only food for thought.

I have actually shared how I felt with mom recently, and she listened.
She also let off a few monkies off her back; speghetti dinner that was
refused by dad and me the night of our final move back to [[Ruckersville]]. I couldn't help it if I did not feel like spaghetti that night; she gave up cooking for us after that for one. I deeply apologized for that. And recently, my dad had colon cancer surgery; the recovery, helping him and putting up with his constant complaints, arguement-starters and such has put further wear and tear on her.

On another topic, I've double-checked the [[Wikipedia]] search for
"tomgirl"; I was redirected to "effeminacy". I had reffered to it as
nothing upon first finding weeks ago. I read a little bit of it an
hour ago; most of which was, while reasonable from the author's viewpoint, offensive to me and I felt I just could not put up with.
There WAS a "Tomgirl" page, and in its first publish time, it was simple and true, spelling corrections were needed; "opposite of
tomboy"; "males who enjoy feminine things", and "Tomgirls are
straight". After I get that laptop, I am going to undo the redirection, and add MORE words of tomgirl wisdom into it.

The laptop is an inexpensive one from [[Wikipedia:CVS Pharmacy|CVS]], designed for internet
browsing, and upgradable I am sure with a greater capacity internal HDD
(Hard disk drive). It is only $99, and it will be good for what I'll need it for, even before upgrading.

I've asked Tiffany to forward you the confidential tomgirlly photos.
Please let me know ASAP when you are able to call me.

Stay Safe and sweet,
Christian.}}
{{Email|April 23, 2011 10:04pm

So that sucks about your mom. When was the speghetti dinner? Do you mean way back when your family moved to Ruckersville, years ago? That seems like an odd thing for her to bring up if it was so long ago.

Your dad had colon cancer though??? You should really be more understanding of his being in a bad mood. That is a HUGE strain on a family. I'm sure your mother is strained to the breaking point from seeing the man she loves go through this life-threatening dilemma; I mean, you guys are lucky he survived at all. Chalk that up to God's grace, I guess. You should be more understanding to your parents' needs.

Well, as far as the chopsticks, I actually busted a pair of mine a couple weeks ago. It was a really ornate pair, I had it for years and I carried it with me every time I went out to eat. But I left them on the roof of my car after leaving a restaurant and my dad accidentally drove over them and turned them into splinters. I was crestfallen, but I decided I would replace them as soon as possible. I look forward to having a nice pair of chopsticks again. I mean, I'd love to have a phone so I could talk to you, and you are definitely more important, but all things considered, until confirmation of details I'll continue to wait til we get our relationship back on its feet.

Anyway, I had more to say, sorry I have to cut this email short but I have to get up early tomorrow morning for my usual family Easter lunch, we do like an all-day family party thing and I need my sleep beforehand. I'll write more later!

Jackie}}
{{EmailReply|April 24, 2011 - 3:49pm

Believe me, I am more than well aware of my parents' needs, as well as the sheer stress from the excessive drama.

Before I forget, I wanted to be sure to address the question I missed
in your last e-mail. My mom said things like "do not wear eyeshadow",
"you look like [[Carlos Chantor|a prostitute]]", "lipstick makes you look like a hooker",
"you're turning into a [[gay]]", "what are you piercing next?", "what's
next, you wearing a skirt and high heels" and shit like that. I mean,
her concerns are understandable, but she is soo paranoid,
overprotective and crazy. I will always be straight, no matter what;
it is in my prebirth programmming. Otherwise, I would not be feeling like throwing up most times I see another dude's [[Pickle|penis]]. XP BLECH!!!

The spaghetti topic is soo yesterdecade, but apparently she remembers it as well as having a very close relative pass away. Obviously I can empathize with that; I still have my chip on the shoulder from [[Michael Snyder]] banning me from [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game & Hobby Place]] and being soo still unforgiving and closed-minded of accepting [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|my apology]]. I even wish
heavily for the Place to be blown up and burn to the ground while there was nobody inside.

It is understandable of confirming the details before getting the phone. I really would like this relationship to work, and soo better
than in the past. Until when you get a cell phone, I will continue to e-mail you daily at best (granted I may miss a day sometimes).

There was a good Easter service at my church today, and there was also a baptism of a baby girl today; I took some photos with my [[DS]] that I will print out for the family ASAP.

I also finally found and got a vial of Nail Art polish (silver) today,
and I painted "TOM" on my right hand's middle three nails, "GIRL" on my
left's index to pinkie, and a star, flower and heart on the other
three. Put my two hands together, they spell "*Tomgirl". I will send
you a photo after I get the laptop. More info on the laptop, it is a
[[Wikipedia:Sylvania Electric Products|Sylvana]] brand with Wi-Fi capabilities, 3 USB ports, Windows CE and
such. More details on it can be found on the box at your local CVS
($99.99), or if you can find it online, that works too. :) Also, I am
planning on getting a tattoo and a belly button ring next month. I
haven't decided on the B.B. ring yet, but the tattoo is going onto my
lower back; I'll send a photo later, but roughly it is a combination of
the (pink) mars and (blue) venus symbols, a pair of (violet) wings on
either side, a white star behind it, and "Tomgirl 4Ever" underneath it all.

What else has been good with you since September? Are you still a Mary Baldwyn journalist? How about them "Crash Test Dummies"? And anything else that comes into your mind; I want to hear/read all about it.

You and me, Jacklyn, let's make up for lost time and keep goin' strong.

TTYL. Stay Safe with Love,
Christian.}}

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/sperg/cwc/redacted_jackie_emails.txt Leaked e-mails (online .txt document)]
* [http://www.mediafire.com/view/?y1pp1lop9wx6hdv Leaked e-mails (MediaFire download)]

{{succession
|label = [[Jackie E-mails]]
|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 23]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 25]]
|bgcolor = #ffdddd
|bordercolor = #ff00ff
|textcolor = #000000
}}
{{emails}}
[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 24]]

Chris and reality

2014-07-30T06:52:55Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173219 by RealityDetached (talk)

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]
{{quote|I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves.|Chris, being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]]}}
{{quote|WHAT THEY AREN'T REAL WHAT ARE YOU DELUSIONAL|[[Clyde Cash]]'s understandable response to the above}}
'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. More than likely because he barely leaves [[Chris's Room|his room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy world-view can be attributed to his [[autism]], as people with autism generally have troubles with distinguishing reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, like [[Bob|their]] [[Barb|parents]] and the [[TV]], and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to commercials and [[100 2178|conspiracy theories]].

Chris often denies facts and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own stupidity or stubbornness, flaws which Chris will never [[Chris and his Ego|ever]] admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris}}
{{quote|NO!|[[Alec Benson Leary]]}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[CWCville]] is the name of the idyllic fantasy world of Chris's imagination. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville, as all other products of his imagination, actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World," where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film [[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'']] as a model. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this thinking is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others too [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] to comprehend this idea. Most likely, he defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he therefore likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, proving even further that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way a Christian might consider God to be his or her father. Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events (both major and minor) such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment introduction of a throwaway plot element]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris makes a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that in Chris's head that this already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canon if he's the one doing it, and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]] as Mayor). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite being protective of his own work, he [[Chris and hypocrisy|forces]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to their work.

==Real Life==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris pro tip: most cars weigh two or three tons<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to [[Father Call|exaggerate]] estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight emails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] toward his favor, such his exaggeration of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade for 50 lbs]]. These are symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], which is common with [[autism]], where the sufferer has no comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. But this tendency seems to suggest not mere ignorance, but Chris's perception that the limits of his physical potential are inherently impressive to others.

Where objective reality conflicts with them, Chris expects his self-favoring opinions to be accepted by others as the truth.

When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and thus effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying Simonla was ever inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this new version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger syndrome]] "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine Autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and Religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref>

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he talks about his status as the Cwcville [[Pokémon]] gym leader, then goes on to suggest that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the Gamecube memory card. He expects this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and be used to challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'').

During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and Psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he said that "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary, which explains why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris also, usually before crashing into slumber, pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own autistic way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of homosexuality rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> Where he got this idea is a mystery, as homosexuality is not once mentioned in the film. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. And of course, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is made by the staunchest, most religious Republican in the world, when in reality it's made by a pro-gay rights, liberal atheist.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as pretty delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. On the 28th April, 2012, for example, he made an empty threat to the CWCki forum about hunting down each of its members, claiming to know where each of them lives. He did this in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one was to gloss over the fact that he couldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, if not the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing harm to them. All things considered, Chris ends up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an implement of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune on the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic of the day — either the [[Medallion of Fail]] or [[Amnyfest Ring]].

Chris also appears to believe that he can [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to dead people]], to an extent. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[Godjesus|God and Jesus]] also told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems, or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomenon.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his ego. Chris believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake.

Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things, most importantly that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]] and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]].

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he shares his parent's ridiculous beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place.

Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going so far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling of Chris' belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[White knight|White Knights]]. Despite several of them trying to do things like offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. As far as Chris himself is concerned, this is a case of people telling him what he doesn't want to hear, and so must be disregarded since they're obviously trolls who are getting in the way of what he wants.

==Descent into Madness==
As time has gone on, it's become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris' already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to loosen further and further- getting to the point where it has alienated [[White knight|many of his closest supporters]], including [[Anna McLerran]] and [[William Elliott Waterman]].

A particularly troubling example of this are his [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|October 2013 rants]] on [[Facebook]], about how [[Megan Schroeder|Megan's]] fictitious character [[Megagi La Skunk]] has talked to him and told him that she should never have been born. Chris claims she's at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|uncursed]], closing by stating that he and [[Bob Chandler|his father]] will get revenge if she does not.

What is truly horrifying about this is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]]. This unbelievable tirade is entirely of Chris' own making- in what can only be described as pure, unbridled insanity.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Clyde Cash

2014-07-30T06:52:41Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173220 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Clyde Cash
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Gregg Mays
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 4 July 1976
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Siblings'''
| [[Ryan Cash]] (deceased)
|-
| '''Spouse'''
| [[PandaHalo]]
|-
| '''Children'''
| Penny Cash
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Internet troll Leader of [[The Miscreants]]
|-
|}

{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}

'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) is leader of [[The Miscreants]] and the most notorious of [[Christian|Chris]]'s [[trolls]], often considered to be Chris's arch nemesis.

In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll". This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde allegedly killed [[BlueSpike]].<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>

Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite him in the ass, such as his [[Chris%27s_resume|unwillingness to work]], [[Chris and money|spending habits]], his [[Women's rights|poor treatment of women]] and even [[IRC_(20_January_2009)|predicted]] Chris' innate desire to [[Tomgirl Saga|dress like a woman.]]

==Origins==
[[Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|thumb|left|Clyde's butt being in trouble, courtesy of Chris.]]

For the longest time, Clyde had no problems with Chris. Although he disapproved of some of the content, he was pleased to see the joy the franchise had brought his brother Ryan. Every night before bed, Clyde would read Ryan the latest ''[[Sonichu]]'' adventure until Ryan had dozed off to sleep (usually within the first three pages).

This changed when Chris announced, in his usual knee-jerk fashion, that he was going to stop drawing ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s. Clyde tried comforting the upset Ryan to no avail. One night in mid-[[December 2008]],<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> Clyde entered Ryan's bedroom, intending to share a tray of freshly baked gingerbread men, only to find the lifeless form of his brother swinging from a light fixture. The dark silhouette of his body threw ghostly shadows across the room.

On the desk Clyde found a note - apparently the pain of not knowing whether [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] would be released from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] was too much for the young Ryan to bear. Clyde screamed, but no sounds would come out. Collapsing to the floor, he swore undying revenge on Christian Weston Chandler.
{{clear}}

==The torment begins==
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]
[[Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|thumb|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].]]
[[Image:Clydecashandannamclerran.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash turns [[Anna McLerran|ladies]] [[Homos|straight]].]]

Clyde's first act was to rape Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[PandaHalo]]<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>, but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal pal|gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

Then, Clyde [[Gregg Mays E-mails|posed as Gregg Mays]] (a web designer working for [[Nintendo]]) to gain access to [[Sonichu.net]]. Holding the site for ransom, he told Chris to make [[It's UGH!|a video proclaiming he was gay]]. He then told him to make a [[I am STRAIGHT|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site. Striking again, Clyde worked with a [[trolls|troll]] and got rid of the domain. Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of PandaHalo, Clyde managed to gain access again.

It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. Teaming up with [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]], they created the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

[[Julie]] set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[Trolls|TRUE and HONEST ''Sonichu'' fans]]. Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating these chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of Julie. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a thirteen-year-old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>

After that, he sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Hebrew friend]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> He then stole Chris's one and only date, [[Emily]].<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

When [[Ivy]] came along, he decided to continually harass her and despite Chris making a few threats, Ivy eventually gave in and killed herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>

Oh, and Clyde also hacked into the [[PSN]] a few times, but then [[Jack Thaddeus]] did him one better...<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>

And to think all this was done due to Chris not caring about one fan's tragic suicide.

On 22 [[May 2009]], the death of Clyde Cash, by a shotgun wound to the head, was reported by [[The Miscreants]]. The incident was deemed suicide, although some suspected foul play.
{{clear}}

==In the comic==
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|left|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

In the [[comic]], Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a pickle gun and "slander ray."

He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing a innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths.
{{clear}}

== Currently ==
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|Clyde Cash and his buddy [[Jack Thaddeus|Jack]].]]
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|left|thumb|Clyde with [[The Wallflower]].]]
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
[[File:Cash1.png|left|thumb|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!]]

After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance. Chris is not very pleased.

In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].

Chris had also a picture to blackmail Clyde, but ultimately nothing came of it other than a series of videos where Chris tries to torture Clyde.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> Clyde scoffed at [[No More Jokes|the final video]].

However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In_which_Chris_assumes_Clyde_Cash_would_punch_him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Christian unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
{{clear}}

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Clyde Cash Fan Videos
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan KILLED Clyde Cash (Never-Before-Seen Footage)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}
| stardate = 7 [[June 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/TheClydeCash TheClydeCash]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Particle-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NrhdImejktI}}
| stardate = 1 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PodMonkeyCWC PodMonkeyCWC]
| subject = | type = | info = }}
}}

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[A CWC Audition]]
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date Conversations] - The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
*[http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1263141624839RA18 An International Tribute to Teh Graet Clyde Cash.]

{{Clyde Saga}}

{{Trolls}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

OkCupid

2014-07-30T06:52:27Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173222 by RealityDetached (talk)

'''OkCupid''' is one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as [[Match.com]], OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for [[Chris and money|free]], only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] joined the website.
{{TOC limit|2}}

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|OkCupid profile screencap ]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it very quickly and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of [[True and Honest]] [[China|love]]. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual [[sex]]."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile. After a short time, the profile was hacked by [[troll]]s.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and [[Plagiarism|Creative.]]

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm [[naive|young at heart]]. I'm currently writing a [[comic]] book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit [[Autism|shy]], but I would enjoy the company of [[Boyfriend-free girl|a beautiful girl]] who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of [[Jerks|men]] make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise [[Monthly tugboat|care]], [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, ect, all of which Chris left blank.

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid started on 4 [[April 2009]] under the name "ChrisCSonichu." This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex-obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively harmless. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm [[Pedofork|young at heart]]. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would [[Sex|enjoy the company]] of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from [[high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on [[PS3|my projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Chris and art|crafting]], [[The MovingFoward videos|making well-thought decisions]], [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to [[The Creepy Stare|my face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from [[R.L. Stine|R.L. Stein]]; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
 -My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My good [[Chris and health|health]].
 (Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "[[Sonichu]]'s Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in [[Spanish]]'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''English Translation: I am an Autistic functioning at a high level, and I am a virgin searching for my pretty girlfriend.''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two days after the first online contact. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the second version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|making well-thought decisions]], [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and [[Speech impediment|easy to converse with]].

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -Sex
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -Sex
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -[[Random Access Humor|Sex LOL]]
 -My good health.
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

{{-}}

On or around June 12, Chris revisited his OKCupid entry and updated it briefly. Beyond an extra line, Chris added in a new section to the list. [[Chris and the Internet|Leaving the Internet, our ass.]]

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the third version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me, and [[sex]] is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

I am compassionate, reliable, and honest

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my [[Sonichu (comic)|art projects]], get some [[Guitar Hero|exercise]] in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[Father Call|heavy lifting]], holding a [[mumble|conversation]], showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my [[The Creepy Stare|face]], especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, [[McDonalds|Grilled Chicken]].

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/[[Sweetheart]].
 -My Video Games ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], DS and Wii, and [[List of Chris's games|all of my older consoles]]).
 -My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
 -My [[Health|good health]].
 -My [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]; I'm nearsighted.
 -[[McDonalds|Food]]/[[Coca-Cola|Water]]

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing [[Guitar Hero]] or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====I'm Looking For====
 * Girls who like guys
 * Ages 21-28
 * Near me
 * Who are single
 * For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not [[Niggo|black]] ([[Chris and race|no personal offense]]), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

[[File:Dat-thinning.jpeg|thumb|Evidence of Chris' marked decline in health.]]

As of February 2013, Chris's profile has been updated once again. The latest version of his profile now features new references to [[Tomgirl|tomgirlism]] and a considerable de-emphasis on the importance of quick sex. Particularly notable about this update is the addition of a new photo, showing Chris to have a [[Chris and Health|sickly blue complexion]], thinning uncut hair, and worsening [[obesity]]. This apparent decline in health is hardly suprising, considering Chris' sedentary lifestyle and gratuitous consumption of [[McDonald's]].

Also of note is Chris' insistence that all potential dates "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS", a mantra he has repeated on his [[Facebook]] profile and even in personal correspondence, referring people who wish to know more about him to the [[CWCki]] while simultaneously instructing them to IGNORE ALL DEROGATORY CONTENT. Obviously, Chris has failed to realize the paradoxical effect of preemptively instructing people to ignore anything bad they may read about him, only serving to further interest in his autistic antics.

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the fourth version.
|-
|

====My self-summary====
I am an all-around, [[Toys|emotionally mature]], good natured, high-functioning [[Autism|autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of freak or something. I am a good listener, and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the Original Creator of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of [[Cwcville]], VA. ([[Chris and reality|IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS]])

I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant [[Stress|heartaches]].

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/[[Sweetheart from the ground up|Future Wife from the ground up]]. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding and patient.

ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY; I have had [[Julie|bad]] [[Ivy|online]] [[Jackie|experiences]] numerously from a lot of [[Trolls|fake people]]. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be.

====[[PS3|What I’m doing with my life]]====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[Sonichu (comic)|projects]] and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, [[28 October 2011|making well-thought decisions]], heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====[[Axe|The first things people usually notice about me]]====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food====
[[Goosebumps]] or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
*(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
*My iPhone.
*My creative genius.
*My good health.
*My glasses.
*Food/Water.

====[[Sex|I spend a lot of time thinking about]]====
[[Attraction Sign|How]] and [[Fridays After Five|where]] to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
I am Very Interested in pleasantly livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights. ;)

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit====
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|Compassionate]] And Passionate.

====I’m looking for====

* Straight girls only
* Ages 25–30
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, casual sex

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON Right Now; Online Communications are OUT. As Well As If You are A) 25-30 years old, B) not [[Niggos|black]] (no personal offense), C) NOT a [[Tobacky|Smoker]], D) [[Honest Content|Honest]], Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA, H) financially stable ([[Monthly tugboat|I get along fair and surviving]]), and You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc.

|}

{{clear}}
==LevelUpKing Profile==
[[File:LevelUpKing okcupid profile screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg|thumb|Screenshot of profile]]
In July 2014, a [[CWCki Forums]] member found yet another OkCupid profile that Chris created.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/updated-okc-profile.4193</ref>

===About===
'''My self-summary''' 
I'm an empathetic artistic individual with honest emotions. I'm [[List of Chris's lies|genuine]] about how I feel and [[Chris and hypocrisy|I stick to my beliefs]]. I care about those closest to me, especially [[Cole Smithey|my family]]. I have a [[Things Chris has ripped off|big imagination]] and love using it towards my creations. I graduated from PVCC with an associates in Computer Aided Drafting. I try to think outside the box. My sense of [[Chris and fashion|fashion]] matches my personality and how I emotionally feel. Sometimes I'm [[slow-in-the-minds|a little scatterbrained]], so please don't mind me if I jump topics. :)

My hobbies/interests include creating, drawing/coloring, creating with Lego, video games, walking, music, and shopping.

'''What I’m doing with my life''' 
Taking care of my mother and pets.

'''I’m really good at''' 
Anything art related. I'm also pretty good at video games.

'''The first things people usually notice about me''' 
[[Tomgirl Pictures|My fashion. ;)]]

'''Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food''' 
Movies: tied for #1, Mary Poppins and My Little Pony - Equeatria Girls. #2: The Lego Movie. #3: Yellow Submarine. Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin' in the Rain, On the Town, and other musicals.

TV Shows: My Little Pony (all generations), Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers, Fraiser, Keeping Up Appearances, Daria, Sailor Moon and other anime.

Music: I like most types of music, including Pop, Jazz, Rock and Classic. Artists: Britney Spears, Katy Perry, the Beatles and others.

'''The six things I could never do without''' 
No particular order. My iPhone, Lego collection and creations, video games, my family of mother, 2 beagles and cat, my artworks, my future sweetheart and children (still yet to be determined).

'''I spend a lot of time thinking about''' 
How I can improve my life and future.

'''On a typical Friday night I am''' 
At home, minding my small family, piddling with my Legos, watching a flick, playing a video game or whatever. And definitely Feeling lonely for an eligible woman to be my Sweetheart, closest friend and Future Wife.

'''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|The most private thing I’m willing to admit]]''' 
I have been emotionally hurt a lot before, and I am reasonably paranoid of others, especially online. Which is WHY it is Mandetory for immediate in person meeting with me.

'''I’m looking for''' 
*Girls who like guys
*Ages 23–32
*Near me
*Who are [[Boyfriend-free girl|single]]
*For [[gal pal|new friends]], long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

'''You should message me if''' 
YOU Make the First Move and Ask ME Out, Please. 
And if you are single, caring, compassionate, confident, honest, smoke-free, and you MUST be willing to Meet In Person IMMEDIATELY or ASAP. :)

"My Details"

Orientation: [[Homos|straight]]

Ethnicity: [[Cherokian Clan|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White]]

Height: 5`10"(1.78m)

Body type: [[obesity|Average]]

Diet: [[McDonald's|Mostly anything]]

Smokes: No

Drinks: Socially

Drugs: Never

Religion: [[Chris and religion|christianity]], and somewhat serious about it

Sign: Pisces, and it`s fun to think about

Education: graduated from two-year college

Job: other

Income: [[monthly tugboat|-]]

Relationship status: single

Relationship type: [[Vanessa Hudgens|strictly monogamous]]

Offspring: [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|doesn`t have kids but wants them]]

Pets: has cats and has dogs

Speaks: [[Chris and English|english]](fluently), [[Spanish|spanish]](okay)
-----------------------------------
It should be noted that as of this edit (July 9th, 2014), Chris had answered at least 1,333 questions (that's 134 pages).

===Photos===
<center><gallery>
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 1.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 2.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 3.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 4.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 5.jpg
File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg
File:LevelUpKing okcupid personality screenshot 8 jul 2014.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Match.com]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LevelUpKing Chris's third OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

List of Chris's lies

2014-07-30T06:52:10Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173223 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article has been deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this article to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and HONEST]].

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence. The end result is a compulsive liar who is about as sly as a two-year-old who has been caught with both hands in the proverbial cookie jar screaming his head off about how he wasn't trying to steal anything whilst bits of cookie fly out of his mouth.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has busted him on his BS, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claims that Patti's dog house weighs "[[Father Call|like, five, ten tons]]".
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone.
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* Chris claims his [[Duck|penis]] is 6 inches long, the average size of a human male penis. But in [[Chris humps his PS3|one video]], a frustrated Chris blurts out his penis is only 4 inches long.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when it fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

Jackie

2014-07-30T06:51:56Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173224 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Jacklyn Romy
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Jackie
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[1987]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Magazine editor
|-
|}

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free <s>girl</s>]] [[troll]] whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]. She became his [[sweetheart]] from [[April 2010|April]]-[[October 2010]], and Chris made her many videos. According to one of Chris' leaked Facebook statuses in February 2012, he had resumed contact with her, before blocking her that April after a number of private videos Chris made for her were leaked onto the internet. However, in May, he re-friended her on Facebook.

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]
===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build]], [[Fangs|straight teeth]], and a [[Chris_and_health#Dental_health|good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|driven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|a family]] with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
[[Bionic|Wilt Chamberlain]], [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homo|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[bigotry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[Chris and art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

== Sex pics ==
{{quote|You and I have just reached the climax in our own intercourse, while these three dudes were jerkin' and watchin'.|Chris, describing one of the scenes.}}
In September 2010, Jackie repeatedly asked Chris to draw very specific pictures of the two of them having sex. As Jackie had a gangbang fetish, she requested that Chris draw multiple men masturbating to the sight of Chris and Jackie having sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> Chris repeatedly attempted to cop out of the deal by either drawing women or somehow concealing the male genitalia on their onlookers(at one point claiming that a puddle of semen counted as one man who had finished masturbating and left the scene).

On May 6 2012, a fourth picture was released, this time showing the pair having sex in a pool as two pairs of feet look on. Jackie has an odd resemblance to [[Family Guy|Lois Griffin]].
{{collapsible
|The drawings, NSFW
|<center>
<gallery>
File:UngaWungaTime.jpg|UNGA WUNGA
File:WetFunCircleTime.jpg|
File:CirclingOnJackie.jpg
File:=3.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
}}

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]] thereby bringing the crazy to [[Ivy]] Saga levels (it must be the red hair).

==Lars==
'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. He later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref> Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris.

==Oops, He Did it Again==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[Stare|giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On 30 [[October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there had been no further Jackie-related videos and Chris had decided to [[100 2357.MOV|quit the internet]] '''again''', it was assumed they had split up. The actual breakup happened a couple days later, when he stopped responding to Jackie's emails.

In [[November 2010|November]], new information about Jackie was released in the form of various [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|emails]]. These provided valuable context about Chris's activities online throughout the latter half of 2010. The email exchanges proved that yet again, Chris is unwilling to make any improvements to his life - even to get the china he so desperately craves.

==Oops, He Did it Again... Again!==

On 12 [[November 2011]], the album [[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]] was leaked to the public; it was intriguing to many, because, while its main theme was Chris's [[Tomgirl]] lifestyle, adopted by him in the early 2011, Jackie is also mentioned in various songs, and at the moment of its public release it was commonly thought that they weren't communicating with each other since November 2010. However, on 24 [[February 2012]], [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] released a number of videos from [[August 2011]] that Chris made for Jackie. These included [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date]]‎, [[Little Tomboy Blue]]‎, [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter]]‎, [[Teenage Dream]] and [[Cheerleader]]. While it was irrefutable proof that they were in contact back then, no correspondence between them was known to the public until 27 April 2013, when Chris's email from 5 August 2011 was posted on [[CWCki Forums]], and 6 May 2013, when [[Jackie E-mails 24|a whole set of emails]] was leaked there. Judging by them, Jackie resumed contact with him on 7 December 2010. The emails aren't later than 5 August 2011, however leaked screencaps of his private [[Facebook]] posts from February 2012 reveal that he was still in some contact with her and hoping that they may get back together.

In the middle of April, Chris removed Jackie from his Friends on [[Facebook]]; the reason is unknown, though it has been speculated that it was the result of [[February_2012|a flood of Tomgirl videos aimed at Jackie]] being leaked onto the internet.

During May, however, Jackie got back on Chris' good side and was subsequently re-friended on the site, proving that Chris is ''terribly'' gullible when it comes to [[china]].

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

Mary Lee Walsh

2014-07-30T06:51:40Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173225 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Template:DeadLinks}}
{{quote|You're not gonna get a [[Girlfriend]], this way or any way.|Mary, as quoted by Chris.<ref>[[Chris emails 2007]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|Enough OLD [[Chris and anger|angst]] against the grey-haired witch-devil, THAT I'VE PUT LONG BEHIND ME...|Chris, lying, in November 2007.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]] (and in [[CWCipedia]]). Chris draws her tits almost as big as his fans do.]]

'''Mary Lee Walsh''' is a proto-[[troll]] who thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]] and suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She is one of the most important people in Chris's history, as she is one of the few people who refused to allow Chris to use his [[autism]] as an excuse for anything he wanted, and tried to make him act like a normal human being.

The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still the one of the chief villains in the ''Sonichu'' series, a status that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in ''Sonichu'' [[fan]] fiction. All hail the Dean!

By early [[2009]], Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh, beginning with his [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam'''. For the next several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including a drawing sent to her house, to which she responded with a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to truly earn his forgiveness.

Chris' continued feud with Mary Lee Walsh is illustrative of his remarkable ability to hold grudges over seemingly minor incidents. In late [[2013]], a ''full ten years'' after the August 2003 incident, Chris blamed Mary Lee Walsh in part for his continued decline in a series of [[Facebook]] ramblings, and referred to a [[Wal-Mart]] [[manajerk]] who banned him from the store as a "Mary Lee Walshing Witch Bitch".

==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==
[[Image:MaryLeeWalshIRLnewsScreenCapture.JPG|thumb|left|Walsh during a TV interview]]
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very attractive in person.]]
Walsh is the Dean of Student Affairs at the PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance (srsly<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20101015023113/http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html] (archived on 15 Oct 2010)</ref>). She has also written a book<ref>http://product.half.ebay.com/The-Freshman-Experience-Creating-College-Success-Piedmont-Virginia-Community-College-by-Mary-L-Walsh-and-Mary-Lee-Walsh-2001-Paperback/2491824&tg=info</ref> about coping with college life, which, surprisingly, does not advocate attacking one's superiors with invisible curses. In the past, Chris had been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' newsletter, and she finally delivered the crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[Attraction Sign]]. [[Chris and reality|According to Chris]], Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed at all.

Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings and continued to place ads for his "love quest" all over the PVCC campus. Walsh, most likely pissed off that this retard kept defying her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. After what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attacked]] her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. This resulted in a year-long expulsion from PVCC. He was forced to take [[Chris and anger|anger]] management classes and get psychiatric help before he was readmitted.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

===Soul-crusher===

{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Niggos|Black]] impersonating [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!]]" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[JERKS|jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[Chris and religion|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

===Emails with Mary===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM''' 
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu''' 
'''Subject: Hi again...'''

Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

-I will never hang notes on the wall again. 
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan. 
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[Scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect). 

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.
</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>''' 
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am''' 
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''

Christian:
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net''' 
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time''' 
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''

Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or [[Virginia]] ), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).

You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?

As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.

You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable [''sic''] images uploaded onto my [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*

Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)

Take care;
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan.
</div>

===Meeting===
When Chris and Mary finally had their meeting, [[Chris and reality|Chris pretended he was talking with Sonichu]], who would in turn talk through Chris. When he got angry at Mary, Chris did a live [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] against her, resulting in his suspension from PVCC.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref>

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]][[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Despite the fact that Chris hates Mary Lee Walsh, this didn't stop him from picking up his markers and making hideous porn of her.]]
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris obsessed over his HEART-SHATTERING defeat and had to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. Chris began to turn her into a villain in his mind, envisioning himself as a conquering hero. Walsh begins to appear in a lot of Chris's works as the ever-present antagonist opposing his [[Love Quest]].

{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious [[Count Graduon]] trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, failing to remember that the comic series was supposed to be about Sonichu, not him}}

In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick, sinister grin and pitchfork. In a witty [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. She is motivated by a hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only real tactic is send [[Jerkop|jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]. Curiously, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, and Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once shattered his heart and she is frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh seem to represent all of Chris's misgivings about adult life--the trauma of graduating his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his collegiate career. However, in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]] Chris also gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the battle between a chubby virgin and a old lady to an epic struggle between a ridiculous Sonic recolor and an old lady with a scepter.

During her reign of terror Walsh threatened the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In ''Sonichu'' #2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil. (Mary simply relocates to [[The High School Story|Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations.) In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a [[Dark Mirror Hole]], but are only successful in ensnaring his Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[Time Void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] , Mary seized the opportunity and prepared to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil was finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] when Chris used the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become [[Collosal Chris-Chan]]. He then destroyed Graduon's scepter and easily overpowered her, leaving her paralyzed before sending her to prison.

A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is she is to blame for everything. Just as, in real life, Chris believed that Walsh was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes, in the comics Mary really is the one pulling all the strings. Virtually all of her Jerkops are simply victims of brainwashing. Many of her other followers show the potential for good, but she herself is beyond redemption. Even Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter.

===Renaming and retcons===
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Anyone but Hslaw Eel Yram!]]

As a result of the [[Miyamoto Saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In a remarkable display of subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became '''"Slaweel Ryam"''' or '''"Slaweel the Witch"'''. This is very subtle - as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing! No one will figure this out - especially when the notice regarding the name change, with old and new names, was posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form (that would require originality, which Chris obviously lacks). The name seems to be an evolution of '''"Hslaw Eel Yram"''', which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards: in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw said card.

In [[August 2009]], Chris put up a [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled 'TwoMarys'] where he tried to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Basically, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in ''Sonichu'' #0 where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris has essentially created a paradox in his comic's timeline - he's made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but the way he's retconned it Slaweel hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's ''"sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years"'' but on the [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys 'TwoMarys' page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:

{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a cohesive plot.}}

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==
{{main|Soul Calibur}}

It is debatable whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the tar out of Mrs. Walsh. Chris created himself and many other real life friends and enemies in the [[video game]] ''Soul Calibur III'', so that he could take out his pent up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. It should be noted that Chris is terrible at ''Soul Calibur'', and appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest setting.

==Possible reconciliation==
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]

Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began reexamining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on CWCipedia to distinguish her from "Slaweel":

{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=TwoMarys</ref>}}

The article rambles on, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research", detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to the Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.

Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Christian_Says</ref>

In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, and she thanked him by telling his parents not to let their retard son on her campus anymore.

Apparently, Mary didn't give a shit and Chris was crushed.

{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}

==Grudge==

Chris's anger toward Mary Lee Walsh continues well over a decade since his [[Attraction Sign]] was torn down at [[PVCC]]. In a series of rambling [[Facebook]] postings made on September 2, 2013, Chris began blaming various people for his tempban from [[Wal-Mart]], including Walsh herself:

{{quote|If it had not been for [[Michael Snyder|Mr. "Manajerk"]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, [[The GAMe PLACe|Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys]], My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!...And that [[Women's Rights|bitch]], Mary Lee Walsh, with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my Sweetheart Search, AND Banning me from PVCC!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 2, 2013}}

A few days later, Chris was conclusively banned from Wal-Mart for vandalizing an XBox One display with a marker, adding "[[HEXBox|HE]]" to the front of the XBox logo. On the same day he was banned, he used Walsh's name as a verb whose meaning can only be taken as "not taking Autism as an excuse".

{{quote|I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" Manajerk...the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house...She has proven herself to be a cold-hearted, uncaring, uncompassionate, lack-of-understanding, bigoted, discriminating, selfish, Mary Lee Walshing, Witch Bitch!|Chris, Facebook, September 6, 2013}}

Naturally, Chris's friends were no more amused than the manajerk; soon after this incident, virtually everyone called him out for his actions, and one of his high school friends de-friended him from Facebook, no doubt turning over to the dark side of the [[Trolls|Trolls/Cyber-Bullies]].

==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair (and her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) at all. In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by depicting Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon girl (which he was sure to fap to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been Rule 34 fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots.
{{clear}}
{{collapsible
|Here be DAT ASS. Mostly NSFW.
|<gallery perrow=3>
Image:126473378631.JPG
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Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:Cc5.jpg
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png
Image:Makeitup.png
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg
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Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg
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Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg
Image:Curse those damn trolls by amazing toaster-d30xau7.jpg
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png
Image:Mlw_avec_colour.PNG
Image:Lost 2010 Fan Art.jpg
</gallery>}}

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}
{{Fan art}}
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Retroactive continuity in ''Sonichu'']]
*[[Attraction Sign]]

==External links==
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]

{{Sonichu}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Anna McLerran

2014-07-30T06:51:23Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173227 by RealityDetached (talk)

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|Never trust a Mormon]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) is a [[gal-pal]] and [[white knight]] who met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. Chris was brought to her attention when, during the [[Love Quest]] era, he started advertising himself in front of the store. This inspired her short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]], published early in [[2005]].<ref>[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html http://dangerless.blogspot.com/2005/02/story-7.html]</ref>

After publishing the story she befriended Chris and he threw her a surprise birthday party. Chris made romantic advances towards her until she told him she was a Mormon and a lesbian, even before coming out to family, in order to rebuff his advances.<ref>Via [http://www.formspring.me/AMcLerran Formspring]:"...it was the only way to get him to stop thinking of me as a 'candidate'..."</ref><ref>[http://thundercamp.tumblr.com/post/2784133782/tell-your-parents-something-youve-been-witholding Anna's Tumblr page]</ref> Chris refers to her as proof that he can be friends with [[homos|homosexuals]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

==Protection of Chris==

After Christian discovered The Crazy Pacer story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[12 October 2009|perverse psychotic]].

{{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note from Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}}

This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself.<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref> It is unknown why she had actually befriended him, but according to her, her intentions were pure. <ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/40869014897045504</ref>

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against faux-punk guitarist [[Wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]]. Anna, self-appointed guardian of Chris, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref name="twitpic">http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he exhibits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticize the CWCki and other sources of the truth about Chris, claiming that "there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. [[Death threats|super nice]]."<ref name="twitpic"/> This is all very amusing when you consider her initial reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>

In [[April 2012]], after Chris's [[facebook]] status about his claims to losing his [[virgin with rage|virgin]]ity became public, Anna (using the name Fighta Jet Lopez) lashed out against trolls, and tried to offer Chris advice about befriending people online that he didn't know in real life.<ref>http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/435/anacwc.png</ref>
{{-}}

Needless to say, Anna isn't popular amongst the troll community, since she not only remains a [[White knight|staunch defender]] of Chris' antics, but is also pretty delusional especially when the evidence of Chris' [[Tomgirl Pictures|own]] [[Death threats|mental]] [[28 October 2011|instability]] is practically hitting her right in the face. Like Christian's parents, Anna is an enabler, albeit an indirect one who opts to tell Chris [[Chris and his Ego|what he wants to hear]] instead of what is right for him. For example, in a response to Chris's complaining about fan-made [[My Little Pony]] videos on his [[Facebook]] page on June 26th, 2012, she had this to say:

{{quote|"I'm still [[Naïve|amazed]] at how so many [[Trolls|people]] think they can justify baiting and trolling an autistic man by calling him naive or saying he deserves it for _____. [[Twin Falling Towers|There]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|is]] [[Death threats|nothing]] [[6 June 2010|you]] [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|could]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|do]], Christian, that would make you deserve ANY of this treatment."|Anna. Again, [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|clearly delusional]].<ref>http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/582/holycrapyouaredelusiona.png</ref>}}
{{-}}

If you need any more proof about this mollycoddling, delusional behaviour, however, consider [[Facebook#Gay_Marriage|a certain post Chris made on his Facebook page]], which struck a nerve with Anna because of its blatant anti-homosexual tones. Despite both her and [[Kim]] calling him out on it, he brushed them both off, not even offering Anna an apology for his behaviour in the thread.

Despite this, what did Anna say mere weeks later?

{{quote|"Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, '''[[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]'''. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think."|Anna. Do we really need to say it again?}}
{{-}}

Keep in mind that this comes on the heels of not just a homophobic post he made, but a leak where he demanded that somebody murder Mimm's girlfriend.
It is ''very'' apparent that when it comes to [[White Knight]] attitudes, Anna sits as queen, blissfully ignoring Chris' obvious problems and cheering him on, possibly until the day she dies.

Ironically, despite her encouragement, she has shown a severe dislike towards [[Kim]], suspecting her of being a troll, despite Kim being another white knight of sorts. Even more ironically, despite being one of Chris' most outspoken and staunch defenders, she has neither commented on nor shown any signs of helping Chris out when his house burned down, which really says a lot when you consider that his ''trolls'' have been more active in getting him back on his feet. Make of that what you will.

===Twitter ramblings about Chris===
Following Anna's facebook responses to Chris's loss of virginity, she saw an influx of trolls trying to befriend her on facebook and follow her on [[twitter]]. Despite voicing her hostility to the people who were following her only because they were trolling Chris, she continued to talk about him and them. Anna has since set her twitter to private.<ref>https://twitter.com/#!/ourladyanna</ref>

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Day
! Time
|-
| I'm fed up with the way people have treated my friend over the years. He doesn't deserve the hand life dealt him, and it's stopping now.<ref name ="tweet2">http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/1281/tweet2.png</ref>
| 12 April 2012
| 10:37 PM
|-
| dear [[Christian Weston Chandler|fat, ugly manchildren]] constantly trying to add me on facebook to screencap my interactions with christian: you are all getting blocked.<ref name="tweet2"/>
| 13 April 2012
| 9:23 PM
|-
| and a special fuck you to any of you cunts who follow me on twitter purely in case i say something about chris.<ref name="tweet2"/>
| 13 April 2012
|9:24 PM
|-
| so much negativity...some people need to go live their own lives! well actually, everyone needs to. ha<ref name="tweet1">http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/1746/tweet1.png</ref>
| 15 April 2012
| 12:10 AM
|-
| tell me, basement dwellers, what are you hoping to accomplish with this? i'm a bit too evolved to take your bait. get a life, please.<ref name="tweet1"/>
| 15 April 2012
| 1:45 PM
|-
|}

===Chris dons the armour===

On 5 [[May 2012]] Chris and Anna reversed roles when he posted a [[Facebook#Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!|Facebook note]] in which he played the part of the white knight:

{{quote|She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. [...] Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a friend.

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.|Chris}}

Chris has stood up for Anna in the past as well. On 14 [[March 2010]] he wrote a [[CWC Blog#14 March 2010|blog post]] on the [[CWCipedia]] asking the CWCki's webmaster to remove from her website all mentions of Anna's name (and of the names of several other acquaintances of his) in the same way all mentions of [[The Wallflower]]'s real name were removed from the CWCki.

===Disagreements with Chris===

On 28 March 2013, Chris posted the following to his [[Facebook]] account, complaining about media coverage of the historic [[wikipedia:Hollingsworth v. Perry|Hollingsworth v. Perry]] Supreme Court deliberations:

{{quote|Another thing that really Grinds My Gears:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!|Chris on Facebook, 28 [[March 2013]]}}

Suprisingly Anna broke her usual pattern of being a mindless enabler to inform Chris that his logic was a bit [[slow in the mind]], in a change of the status quo suggesting Chris' antics are beginning to alienate even his staunchest defenders:

{{quote|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays|Anna, beginning to tire of Chris' nonsense}}

The next day, Chris responded:

{{quote|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?|Chris, [[Honor roll|not making any sense whatsoever]]}}

Chris's reply was nothing more than an incoherent red herring, completely side-stepping the original question of why it was right for lesbians to marry and not right for gay men to. The real answer, of course, is because gay men are disgusting and [[Homos#Views on lesbianism|lesbians are hot]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|"Modest Manna", a Mormon [[My Little Pony]] based on Anna.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Secret Weapon

2014-07-30T06:50:47Z

Dick Banton: Undo revision 173229 by RealityDetached (talk)

'''Secret Weapon''' is a [[YouTube]] video posted by [[Chris]] on 30 [[March 2009]]. Chris claims to have the mugshot of one of his [[trolls]], [[Clyde Cash]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Secret Weapon
| video = {{#ev:youtube|btXP1JthVes}}
| stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Director.27s_Cut|Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)]]
| next = [[YouTube Finale#Video|YouTube Finale]]
}}

{{quote|You're a freak!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|Chris was a guido in [[2003]]]]

Laugh now, as much as you want Mr. '''Sin Dinero''' [''[[Spanish]], obviously meaning "without money"''], because you have [[Chris and money|no money]]. And you-I can tell you why you can't-why you try to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|steal other men's women]], I tell you what.

[''looks at picture of "[[Clyde Cash]]", scoffs''] And a big detail you left-you may eh-you might have not overlooked. [''[[Chris and cinematography|holds picture up to the camera]]''] I have your mugshot. I can't even stand to look at it! All those ''damn freckles''! [At this point, Chris moves the paper aside slightly and you can see he's reading off something else for his lines] You're a [[autism|freak]]! HA HA HA HAAAAAAA HAAA! I scoff at you, you ugly freak!
{{Clear}}

==See also==
*[[No More Jokes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]|nextlink=[[YouTube Finale]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-30]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-30]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-07-03T08:18:20Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined exactly 245 offers separate from his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure.

Bidding ended at 10:33 PM, on June 22nd (in Chris's timezone), several seconds before the timer expired, when Chris accepted the best offer.

Shortly after the auction concluded (for now), Chris had this to say:
{{quotebox|I took the more reasonable offer that was made closest to the end of the Sonichu and Rosechu drawing's listing. If no payment is received, it will be relisted after a week. The Violin IS NOT FAKE OR COUNTERFEIT, you damn bored, hateful, despicable, immature, uncaring bastards.}}

The buyer of the masterpiece sent a positive feedback in eBay on June 23rd saying:
{{quoteboxred|Can't wait to get this man. It's so hard to find decent rolling papers nowadays.}}

The buyer felt that the original price he paid was a bit too high. He sent another feedback on June 26th saying:
{{quoteboxred|You think you could sell me this for $20 though? I'll trade you my good vase too}}

== The More Things Change... ==
By June 30, Chris explained via Facebook that the buyer 'flaked out' on him. Despite failing once again to sell this single piece of art, Chris then went on to list '''three''' more pieces for sale on his [[eBay]] account: "Original Sonichu Drawing: Sonichu's Zapping Boom, June 14, 2014", "(Read Description) Original Commissions From Sonichu And Rosechu's Creator", and "Original Rosechu & Sonichu Drawing: Sweethearts Playing a Round, June 30, 2014."

== Change of Business Model ==
On the 1st of July Chris posted two more eBay drawings (both advertising ludicrous pricing of $100 or more), one with an attached gallery of eight photos of himself, titled "Autographed Photo Of Sonichu And Rosechu's Creator" going for $20 each.

{{quote|Straight from the creator and artist, Christian Weston Chandler (myself), you may now have a more current headshot photograph of the artist, complete with his personal autograph and optional message. NO LOCAL PICKUP AVAILABLE, at the Personal Risk of myself, the Original Creator and Artist..|Chris, whoring out his [[Chris and his Ego|valuable]] autographed headshots.}}

Currently, the actual Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing has not been relisted. Chris finally taking the advice of several Facebook comments suggesting he take commissions is [[Chris and his Ego|unlike]] his usual behavior.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (closed)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-07-01T05:46:51Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined exactly 245 offers separate from his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure.

Bidding ended at 10:33 PM, on June 22nd (in Chris's timezone), several seconds before the timer expired, when Chris accepted the best offer.

Shortly after the auction concluded (for now), Chris had this to say:
{{quotebox|I took the more reasonable offer that was made closest to the end of the Sonichu and Rosechu drawing's listing. If no payment is received, it will be relisted after a week. The Violin IS NOT FAKE OR COUNTERFEIT, you damn bored, hateful, despicable, immature, uncaring bastards.}}

The buyer of the masterpiece sent a positive feedback in eBay on June 23rd saying:
{{quoteboxred|Can't wait to get this man. It's so hard to find decent rolling papers nowadays.}}

The buyer felt that the original price he paid was a bit too high. He sent another feedback on June 26th saying:
{{quoteboxred|You think you could sell me this for $20 though? I'll trade you my good vase too}}

== The More Things Change... ==
By June 30, Chris explained via Facebook that the buyer 'flaked out' on him. Despite failing once again to sell this single piece of art, Chris then went on to list '''three''' more pieces for sale on his [[eBay]] account: "Original Sonichu Drawing: Sonichu's Zapping Boom, June 14, 2014", "(Read Description) Original Commissions From Sonichu And Rosechu's Creator", and "Original Rosechu & Sonichu Drawing: Sweethearts Playing a Round, June 30, 2014."

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (closed)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Talk:Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-28T04:52:33Z

Dick Banton:

You know, people could buy it, then use it as fire wood, but nah, they are just ripping chris off, which is good way to troll but not the best.--[[User:Zimkiller1|Zimkiller1]] ([[User talk:Zimkiller1|talk]]) 04:01, 13 June 2014 (UTC)

== What if... ==

Let's just say for the sake of argument that someone legitimately gave Chris a grand for this 8 1/2" x 11" piece, would they become a legend to trolls or someone to laugh at for pissing their money away on a piece of epic fail? [[Hunters108]] 12:18, 16 June 2014‎

He said, all not signing his post. But yeah, before the bidding jumped to $10,000, I was actually considering putting down no more than $250 for it. [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 18:01, 16 June 2014 (UTC)

== Actual profit? ==

What's sad is, if Chris wasn't a total egotist and just listed his artwork for, say, reasonable prices of like 10-20 bucks, swarms upon swarms of trolls would eat them up like crazy. And, I doubt both the material and "time" needed to create such artwork would be negligible to the profit margin and Chris could actually probably get a lot of money doing that. But, no, he's an egotistical retard, who only thinks "AS QUICK WITH AS LITTLE EFFORT AS POSSIBLE". He should be counting his lucky stars with the fact he can get ANY money at all for this godawful level of artwork, that couldn't be given away if it wasn't for his reputation.

That being said, I hope no one ever pays him for it, let alone gives him money. His whole crying remark of "MY MOTHER AND I REALLY NEED THE MONEY" is pissing me off; he, and everyone else, knows damn well he just wants to buy some severely overpriced Legos. What a waste of life. --[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] ([[User talk:The World Is Yours|talk]]) 23:22, 17 June 2014 (UTC)

-- I agree, The World Is Yours. Never in my life have I seen someone this desperate for Legos. Desperate to get the utilities turned back on for their family due to extenuating financial circumstances? Yes. But not for (based on average pricing for the sets he named in his May 29th Facebook post) $650 worth of plastic building blocks.[[Hunters108]] 02:40, 18 June 2014‎

== Persephone? ==
Persephone was the daughter of Zeus and queen of the underworld in Greek mythology. How the fuck does Chris know about this? [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 07:38, 19 June 2014 (UTC)
** God of War [[User:Blazer|Blazer]] ([[User talk:Blazer|talk]]) 08:43, 19 June 2014 (UTC)

== Oh, phew ==

When I got an email from Ebay saying that it had been bought, I was sick to my stomach thinking someone literally gave Chris over 400 bucks for this thing, as, he had it set up where it could only be bought with immediate payment.

But after checking this site, I see 'how' it was bought. It was Chris, not a buyer. So, that's a bit of a relief. I highly doubt that offer was serious; apparently others offered even 'more', so yeah. I really hate seeing Chris' awful behavior get justified, so I really, sincerely hope no one was stupid enough to buy it for that kind of money.--[[User:The World Is Yours|The World Is Yours]] ([[User talk:The World Is Yours|talk]]) 15:52, 23 June 2014 (UTC)

== Chris Isn't Bitching By Now? ==
It's been a few days since the item was allegedly bought. If the buyer is stalling, or shafted Chris, wouldn't he be going "GODDAMN TROLLS" and relisting the item? Does this mean that the buyer actually PAID for this? [[User:Dick Banton|Dick Banton]] ([[User talk:Dick Banton|talk]]) 04:52, 28 June 2014 (UTC)

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-24T02:49:07Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined exactly 245 offers separate from his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure.

Bidding ended at 10:33 PM, on June 22nd (in Chris's timezone), several seconds before the timer expired, when Chris accepted the best offer. It is yet unknown whether Chris will be able to collect, or if the buyer is going to back out, as happened with the third listing.

Shortly after the auction concluded (for now), Chris had this to say:
{{quotebox|I took the more reasonable offer that was made closest to the end of the Sonichu and Rosechu drawing's listing. If no payment is received, it will be relisted after a week. The Violin IS NOT FAKE OR COUNTERFEIT, you damn bored, hateful, despicable, immature, uncaring bastards.}}

The buyer of the masterpiece sent a positive feedback in eBay on June 23rd saying:
{{quoteboxred|Can't wait to get this man. It's so hard to find decent rolling papers nowadays.}}

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (closed)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-23T07:58:26Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined exactly 245 offers separate from his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure.

Bidding ended at 10:33 PM, on June 22nd (in Chris's timezone), several seconds before the timer expired, when Chris accepted the best offer. It is yet unknown whether Chris will be able to collect, or if the buyer is going to back out, as happened with the third listing.

Shortly after the auction concluded (for now), Chris had this to say:
{{quotebox|I took the more reasonable offer that was made closest to the end of the Sonichu and Rosechu drawing's listing. If no payment is received, it will be relisted after a week. The Violin IS NOT FAKE OR COUNTERFEIT, you damn bored, hateful, despicable, immature, uncaring bastards.}}

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (as of June 23)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-23T05:38:34Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined exactly 245 offers separate from his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure.

Bidding ended at 10:33 PM, on June 22nd (in Chris's timezone), several seconds before the timer expired, when Chris accepted the best offer. It is yet unknown whether Chris will be able to collect, or if the buyer is going to back out, as happened with the third listing.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (as of June 23)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-23T05:14:21Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded images were originally solely in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined over 150 offers above his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure. Bidding ends in the early morning of June 23rd.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (as of June 23)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-23T05:12:27Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

[[File:Original Sonichu And Rosechu Drawing.JPG|thumb|Chris uploaded the colored version of his drawing on his seventh version on the 21st of June, disregarding his previous use of black-and-white as an anti-forgery countermeasure.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seventh Listing (seriously, Chris, this isn't funny anymore)==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined over 150 offers above his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

On June 21st, Chris changed the image to a new photograph of the framed picture in color. It is unknown what caused him to abandon this security measure. Bidding ends in the early morning of June 23rd.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191216311183?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c85615b8f Current Listing (as of June 23)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Talk:Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-19T07:39:06Z

Dick Banton: /* Persephone? */

Talk:Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-19T07:38:57Z

Dick Banton:

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-19T07:29:00Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

[[File:Sonichu eBay listing capture 6-16-14.png|thumb|200px|The seventh version of the listing preserved in it's entirety.]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seriously, Chris, This Isn't Funny Anymore==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

Early on June 17th, Chris dropped the price to $500. He later explained (in answer to a question nobody asked) why he has declined over 150 offers above his Buy It Now price.:

{{quotebox|I only declined the offers for good reasons: 0 Feedback are often Trolls; if they Really can offer MORE than the asking price or close equal, then they can afford to Buy It Now; I am very, reasonably paranoid.

So there.}}

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
*Medium: Ink
*Subject: Fantasy
*Style: Pop Art
*Size: 8.5 X 11
*Date of Creation: 2000-Now

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/191216311183 Current Listing (as of June 16)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Talk:Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-16T18:01:42Z

Dick Banton: /* What if... */

June 2014

2014-06-16T06:59:56Z

Dick Banton:

[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|200px|Chris in June 2014.]]
The sixth month of the year has seen Chris's increasingly desperate attempts to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|a new piece of Sonichu artwork]]. As of June 13, he has made six attempts to sell it on [[eBay]], only for it to get removed each time for TOS violations. He has already earned himself two temporary bans for the same reason. It is currently unknown how much fallout will be seen from the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] that left the Chandlers homeless in [[January 2014|January]].

==Events of June==
*1 June - Chris puts up an auction on [[Ebay]] for an [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]]. It was later taken down after it received over $10,000 in [[troll]] bids.
*2 June - The Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing is put back up on Ebay. This time, he adds some information. This includes a different black-and-white picture of the drawing, a closeup of his signature, a closeup of [[Rosechu]]'s crotch, and an alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Bidding reaches $15,000.
*3 June - Chris takes down the listing yet again, only to replace it with an identical one. He also makes a Facebook post asserting its authenticity.
*4 June - A scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted the 'Best Offer' for his artwork. The dollar amount he agreed to receive was $1,000, lower than the $2500 US he was initially asking for. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his father's Stradivarius violin.
*5 June - Chris puts up yet another eBay listing for the Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing, because the person buying it backed out.
*8 June - Once again, Chris relists the drawing on eBay and appears to be getting even more desperate to sell it. Later that day, it is again taken down, and Chris has his selling privileges revoked for three days. He urges people to pay him instead of donating to the [[CWCki]], and asks that $1,000 be sent to his PayPal account.
*12 June - Chris relists the drawing ''again''.
*13 June - It gets taken down again, and Chris gets another three day ban. He makes a Facebook post saying that he'll sell it to the first person who sends him $1000, and that if no one sends that to him, he will relist it again after his ban is lifted.
*15 June - Chris posts a Father's Day photo of a picture frame and two pictures of [[Robert Chandler|Bob]].
*16 June - Chris relists his Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing yet again.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-16T06:57:51Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==The Second Ban==
{{quote|UGH! Persephone, fuck me; the listing got removed AGAIN!!!|Chris, June 13}}

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seriously, Chris, This Isn't Funny Anymore==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
Style: Pop Art

Date of Creation: June 1, 2014

Size: 8.5 X 11

Medium: Ink

Subject: Fantasy

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)] [Down again]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2014-06-16T06:56:01Z

Dick Banton: /* eBay */ Fixed some incorrect information, grammar/spelling, and elaborated on post-second ban/future third strike.

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Although he is a grown adult (at least physically), [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places. Because of his obnoxious behavior, Chris has been either temporarily or permanently '''banned''' from many places.

==Shops==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. [[Michael Snyder]] issued a final permaban on 28 August [[2008]], after Chris got confrontational with a [[niggos|black]] child, but even this failed to keep Chris away from the store. Following the events of the [[28 October 2011|October 28th incident]], Chris is now definitively banned by court order from ever re-entering the store.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was [[troll]]ing him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired. On 28 [[April 2012]], it's revealed he was banned again, this time from arguing with trolls loudly on his phone.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June [[2005]], the [[Niggos|African-American]] manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but Chris refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late [[2009]], he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

Proving he learns nothing, Chris was again banned in September [[2013]] after vandalizing an XBox One sign to read "[[HEXbox]] One," according to his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|Facebook post]] on 6 [[September 2013]]. In the ensuing Facebook posts, he blames almost everyone else but himself for the ban, including [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his defense attorney [[Rob Bell]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. When the issue was pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

==Websites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without using the proper mature content filters. The first time was around [[May 2009]], most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 [[July 2009]].

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Wikipedia}}

On 1 May 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward for violating Wikipedia's policy on userpages and notability. When he attempted to contest this course of action, his user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29 sockpuppet] of a troll and not the genuine article). As of now, the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from ever being recreated.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 [[July 2010]]. Chris has since evaded his ban. Flipnote Hatena shut down in May 31, 2013, but Flipnote Studio 3d will replace it. Will Chris get banned from that?...

===eBay===
{{main|Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing}}

Chris has attempted to sell the [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]] on [[eBay]] since [[June 2014|the first of June]]. Time and again, however, the listing for the picture was taken down, either as a result of [[Troll]] involvement, the listing expiring (the asking price of thousands of dollars not helping in that respect), or in true Chris fashion, breaking the terms of services on eBay by asking for offers on Facebook. This would culminate in a three-day ban from eBay on June 8th 2014. Chris, being incapable of taking "no" for an answer, stated his intention to put the picture back up for sale again the minute the ban expires.

On June 12, Chris reposted the listing, only for eBay to give him ''another'' ban. When his second ban expired, he reposted a heavily-edited version of the posting, although still possible violating several of eBay's terms again. A third strike against Chris's tarnished eBay name is expected. Only time will tell if the world's largest online vendor will be added to the list of places that kicks Chris out and never lets him back in.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "[[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Wolf Cub Scouts]]" in the late [[1980s]] because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|a Mailbag]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st [[birthday]], 24 February [[2003]]. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to [[Emily]], however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October [[2003]], Dean of Student Services [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex on campus. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a [[Autism papers|psychiatrist]] and go to anger management classes (neither of which seems to have helped).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in [[2008]]. He claimed in an email with [[lordsillynipples]], "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of [[Women's rights|women in bikinis]] on my [[Facebook]]; he was offended." Going by his frequent threats to use his new congregation as a personal army, it is not unlikely that Chris was booted out of the church when he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that Mr. Hartless would incite the congregation into raiding the ED page for Chris.

===Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church===
{{main|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church}}

A [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] leaked on 30 March 2013 revealed that some time between [[July 2011]] and [[March 2013]], Chris had earned himself a temporary ban from Wesley Methodist, probably because he had repeatedly (and annoyingly) aired his endless grievances about [[trolls]] during the homily.

{{quote|I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced.|Chris, on how his own church is now playing [[Kick the Autistic]]}}

{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-16T06:45:38Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

Soon after, the sale was removed ''again''. Chris received another three-day ban from selling any items on eBay.

==Seriously, Chris, This Isn't Funny Anymore==
On June 16th, Chris relisted the image once more, standing his ground with the price of $1000. He posted a link to his eBay account, which may or may not be the exact reason of his multiple removals and (so far) two selling bans. The description of the item more closely resembled what it had originally been, before a combination of both the trolls placing fake bids and eBay taking issue with Chris's disregard for the rules had created the circus we see today. He retained the lengthy [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] paragraph, which also may have been a reason for Chris to be considered breaking the Terms of Service of eBay.

==Specifications==
Note: all descriptions have been described by Chris himself, and remain to be verified.
Style: Pop Art

Date of Creation: June 1, 2014

Size: 8.5 X 11

Medium: Ink

Subject: Fantasy

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)] [Down again]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

June 2014

2014-06-12T23:34:20Z

Dick Banton: /* Events of June */

[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|200px|Chris in June 2014.]]
The sixth month of the year began with repeated attempts by Chris to sell [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|a new piece of Sonichu artwork]] on [[eBay]]. It is currently unknown how much fallout will be seen from the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]] that left the Chandlers homeless in [[January 2014|January]].

==Events of June==
*1 June - Chris puts up an auction on [[Ebay]] for an [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]]. It was later taken down after it received over $10,000 in [[troll]] bids.
*2 June - The Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing is put back up on Ebay. This time, he adds some information. This includes a different black-and-white picture of the drawing, a closeup of his signature, a closeup of [[Rosechu]]'s crotch, and an alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Bidding reaches $15,000.
*3 June - Chris takes down the listing yet again, only to replace it with an identical one. He also makes a Facebook post asserting its authenticity.
*4 June - A scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted the 'Best Offer' for his artwork. The dollar amount he agreed to receive was probably lower than the $2500 US he was initially asking for. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his father's Stradivarius violin.
*5 June - Chris puts up yet another eBay listing for the Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing, because the person buying it backed out.
*8 June - Once again, Chris relists the drawing on eBay and appears to be getting even more desperate to sell it. Later that day, it is again taken down, and Chris has his selling privileges revoked for three days. He urges people to pay him instead of donating to the [[CWCki]], and asks that $1,000 be sent to his PayPal account.
*12 June - Chris relists the drawing ''again''.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-12T23:32:16Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]]|Chris}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
On June 12th, true to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-12T23:26:46Z

Dick Banton:

[[Image:01June2014-Original eBay Drawing.jpg|thumb|200px|"First ever straight-from-the-creator and artist full-colored Original Sonichu and Rosechu hand-drawn and colored artwork available for sale. The main image for this sale was edited to prevent forgery during listing, but a sample of the color is the secondary photo."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingFramed.JPG|thumb|200px|"Rising Interests, AND Hurt from Trolls have instigated the increase of the Original Drawing in the relishing from the wrongful removal, so Tough. You want it; bid or PAY UP Now."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingCrotch.jpeg|thumb|200px|The inclusion of this image is to backup a previous unsolicited statement of ''"AND, in case you were paying attention, the Raichu Tail is FEMALE, just as the Rosechu that transformed from the original FEMALE Raichu HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE; [[Chris and English|VAGINIA]], OVARIES, C-CUP MILKING BREASTS WITH TITS AND ALL!!!"'']]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingSignature.JPG|thumb|200px|"Q: Why is the drawing dated 6/14/14? That date has not occurred yet. Are you sure this is legit? A: [[Honor roll|Oops! That was a mistake]]; I meant to write 6/1/2014; an extra "4" that should be disregarded, and it can not be undone or changed since it is laminated."]]

[[Image:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|thumb|The photo Chris attached to the Facebook post advertising his third attempt to have a legitimate auction.]]

[[Image:Ebayremoval.jpg|thumb|200px|"CRAP!!! After a few days of non-eBay-influenced peace, they tore my listing DOWN AGAIN!!! UGH!!! Too many damn idiots making unsolicited offers while I am SET on the final value after the very same [[Stress|Stress]] multiple times!!!"]]

The '''Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing''' is a laminated [[Chris and art|hand-drawing]] of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] that [[Chris]] is trying to auction off on [[eBay]] to raise the funds to buy more [[Lego|Legos]]. This is the second item Chris has attempted to sell on eBay this year, the first being [[Bob Chandler|Bob's]] violin.

"Freshly thought and drawn on June 1, 2014", this picture also bears Chris's signature, although this is difficult to make out in the full-sized image. The uploaded image is in black-and-white, an apparent anti-forgery method used by Chris to protect his precious artworks from counterfeiting.

==First Two Listings==
Within the first day of bidding, the bids reached over $10,000 USD. Speculation of troll involvement is mentioned occasionally by Chris's friends on his Facebook post related to it. The first posting was removed, most likely due to Chris realizing (or being told) that he was unlikely to collect on it.

However, the listing returned on the next day, with some extra information added. Chris included a black-and-white picture of the frame he considers so goddamn important, a color closeup of his signature, a color closeup of [[Rosechu|Rosechu's]] [[China|crotch]], and an additional alleged [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] page. Verification of the signature and Rosechu's womanhood caused bids to skyrocket, with bids quickly reaching $15,000 USD. It's important to note that eBay does impose some limits on how much a seller can sell an item for without paying additional fees.

==Protecting His Valuable Intellectual Property==
Chris also makes some [[Chris and copyright|untested copyright claims]]:

{{Quote|ALL Sonichu, Rosechu, Cwcville and such material is Copyrighted March, 2000 by Christian Weston Chandler, with Full Paperwork backed up in Washington DC. Any names, persons or characters and such illustrated in the past Original Comic Book Pages, LittleBiGPlanet 1, 2, PSP and Vita Levels under the PSN ID of "Sonichu", and all direct content from the Creator, Christian Weston Chandler, NOT originating from said Creator that may seem similar to anyone past or present, as well as under other respective ownerships, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. Ownership of Original characters of Pikachu, [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] and Sonic the Hedgehog are those of Nintendo and SEGA of America respectively. The drawing that is being sold on eBay now is an Original artwork created by the original Creator of Christian Weston Chandler, and is solely being sold as an artwork with no original intent of [[Chris and money|profit]].}}

==Third Time's The Charm==
On the third day of bidding, the posting was taken down again, only to have Chris replace it with an identical one (minus the questions from prospective buyers). It is unknown if this is because eBay removed it, or Chris realized he was being fucked with again. He also appeared to stop accepting future inquires regarding the item, likely due to [[Trolls|misuse]] of it. He also made another [[Facebook]] post, again attempting to assert the authenticity of the item.

The original price was $5,000 Buy It Now or Best Offer, later reduced to $2,500. On Wednesday, June 04, 2014, a scant four days after the creation of the 'Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing', Chris accepted a 'Best Offer' of $1,000 for his artwork, however, the buyer backed out the next day. Chris also appears to have removed (or possibly also managed to sell) his [[Bob Chandler|father's]] Stradivarius violin.

==Fourth Listing==
After the previous [[trolls|buyer]] wouldn't pay up, Chris relisted the drawing on eBay with a $1,000 Buy It Now price and no auction. The sale is also a 'Pay It Now', meaning it must be paid for as soon as it is bought, so there is no chance of anyone 'buying' it and then backing out.

Chris later summarized his experiences thus far on Facebook:
{{quotebox|With eBay constantly removing my listing for this SAME, SINGULAR ARTWORK Four Times the past week, and the offer-maker who offered 1,000 on the last listing Totally Bailed! I am super frustrated and I am just SET on one thousand or bust on this SAME drawing what my venture with it having been [[Stress|Really Too Much]]. And [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I [[Legos|REALLY NEED THE MONEY]]. Please Buy and Pay in Full Now!}}

With this update, Chris has revealed that some of the removals of listings were due to eBay removing them. He also attempts to garner sympathy by reminding us all that the money is for his mother and him to live off of, as opposed to, say, [[Legos]], for instance.

The fourth listing was eventually removed by eBay as a result of Chris asking people to make him offers on the drawing outside of the official eBay interface. He immediately removed the offending clause and relisted it with everything else intact.

{{quotebox|I will be relisting Again, and I will make it Very Clear: NO OFFERS LESS THAN THE BUY IT NOW PRICE WILL BE ACCEPTED, AND ANY AND ALL OFFERS WILL BE READ AND DISREGARDED. I am not ignorant! I read all of those comments before I deleted them on the listing link here on Facebook.

My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for [[Legos|Debt relief]] and a living. Good Grief!!!}}

==Fifth Listing==
By 8 June, it was removed for a fifth time and Chris's eBay account was restricted from listing new items for 3 days due to repeated ToS violations. According to messages from eBay administration to Chris, posted by himself on Facebook for some inexplicable reason, these violations include 'direct sales', '[[Facebook|inappropriate links]]', and 'brand name misuse' (likely due to the usage of [[Nintendo|various]] [[Sega|copyrighted]] [[Sony|names]] in the listing). He reacted to this by demanding on Facebook that people [[Chris and his Ego| donate $1,000 to him via PayPal]]. He also betrayed the fact that he believed it was actually the troll bidding that got his listing pulled, not simultaneously soliciting sales on Facebook (a violation under the terms of service, as it allows the seller to avoid having to pay certain fees). The fact that Chris received several emails from eBay explaining the exact reason of these sanctions against him suggests that he didn't read (or agree with) the entirety of said emails.

{{quotebox|Are You All HAPPY NOW?!!! Because of ALL OF YOU DAMN TROLLS pushing and Pushing and PUSHING ME, NOW I will not be able to list or relist for THREE DAYS!!! }:(( I am Super [[Chris and anger|Angry]] at most Everyone for REALLY Letting the Oxygen Out Of My Tank!!!

The ONLY WAY YOU ALL CAN MAKE THIS UP TO ME RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FREAKING NOW!!! SEND ME $1,000.00, American Dollars, via PayPal to iammrc@aol.com. Quit Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, and PAY ME!!! Money is Really Tight with me and my mother here!!!}}

{{quotebox|Why the hell send your money, Donating to the Hate-Crap-Filled Cwcki and it's Forum, when the Actual Artist and Creator, who has not received ONE RED CENT for ANYTHING "inspired" from my own works SOLD over the freaking, Damnable Internet and its even More Damnable Social Websites, or Wherever, and his family could use the money better for Debt relief And a [[Monthly tugboat|Living from a Tight, Low Budget!]].}}

By this point, his Facebook friends have repeatedly told him that begging for money and making demands is unlikely to make people want to help him, and that his art only really holds value to trolls. Several of them also suggest using a venue other than eBay to sell his wares, or to take commissions. Experience suggests that it is exceedingly [[Chris and his Ego|unlikely that Chris will listen to the advice of others]].

Later in the day, Chris seems to have calmed down somewhat. Despite almost-unanimous commentary on his previous Facebook status, telling him that his price is too high and that maybe he'd have more success selling more pieces at a lower cost, Chris remains unwavering in his belief that this piece (or perhaps the time and effort spent trying to sell it) is absolutely worth a grand.

{{quotebox|At this point, I will sell the framed drawing to the first person who sends me $1,000.00, [[Honor roll|USA American]] via PayPal (see earlier post). Please provide your name and US Mailing address in the details.

After that, and after the three day suspension, I will be more reasonably priced on future drawings. But if no one sends the $1,000.00, the still current drawing will be relisted for the full $1,000.00, regardless.}}

==During the Ban==
On June 9th, a buyer (presumably the one that 'bought' the piece before backing out and leaving Chris holding a big bag of fuck-all instead of a ten thousand dollar payday) left negative feedback on Chris's eBay account.
{{quoteboxred|Refuses to cooperate. Extremely rude and threatening. Blocks buyer no replies.}}

==Sixth Listing==
True to his word, Chris relisted the picture as soon as his ban had expired. Chris did not link to the posting on his Facebook status. The price remained at $1000, showing that Chris did however completely ignore all advice recommending he lower his prices.

{{quote|No Offers of Lower Value Will Be Accepted, PERIOD!!! NO DIRECT SALES EITHER!!! BUY IT NOW AND PAY IN FULL ONLY!!! I am Sick and Tired of eBay constantly removing my ONE listing for the ONE Artwork/Drawing that I have still YET to sell!!! UGH!!! My 72-Year Old Mother and I Really Need the Money. Why the hell send your money to the damn Cwcki and it's Forums when the Actual Artist and his family could use the money better for Debt relief and a living. Good Grief!!!|Chris, introducing the new and improved eBay posting}}

The statement of 'no direct sales' can either be interpreted as Chris claiming he will not attempt to sell the piece through Facebook again, or a disclaimer that he will not accept 'direct sales', which would suggest he still doesn't fully understand the reason of his ban.

==External Links==
[http://www.ebay.com/itm/Original-Sonichu-And-Rosechu-Drawing-June-1-2014-/191212601900?pt=Art_Drawings&hash=item2c8528c22c Current Listing (as of June 12)]

[[Category:Sonichu artwork]]

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-12T08:27:58Z

Dick Banton: /* During the Ban */

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-12T08:25:33Z

Dick Banton:

Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing

2014-06-09T06:51:14Z

Dick Banton:

File:LegoFriends.jpg

2014-06-09T06:45:11Z

Dick Banton: One of the less traditionally-manly sets of Lego Chris is begging for on Facebook.

One of the [[Homos|less traditionally-manly]] sets of [[Lego]] Chris is begging for on [[Facebook]].