CWCki - User contributions [en]

Talk:CWC Cums for a Cat

2013-11-17T21:31:57Z

DicksOak:

bluespike was on skype, not actually talking with chris, just typing out shit

this happened right after mumble 7 i believe, after i (meaning clyde) told chris that panda was dead

and then bob walks in plan was thought up of.

then the rest...was history. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 20:48, 22 December 2009 (CET)

Link is dead. Can someone re-up? [[User:Wozblod|Wozblod]] 18:41, 15 January 2010 (UTC)

Nobody wants to. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:24, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

== Recycling ==

There was some debate over whether Chris was recycling in this particular video. Some argue that when he opens the can of soda, he's using it as a chaser for his semen, whereas it's plausible that he's merely thirsty after moaning like a tard which must do a number on his voice. Thoughts on how we should treat this? Or incorporate this debate into the article, in terms of interpretation? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:08, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
*Its a very real possibility. I say that we make a mention of what could be happening even if we are not sure. Its very likely given what we know about Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:52, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

== The videos are down ==

Oy vey it's like another Shoah ~~

Talk:Pocket knife

2012-08-14T09:12:23Z

DicksOak: /* People acting like pocket knives aren't dangerous. */ new section

Is it possible he got the knife for his birthday, since it's only appeared just recently? --[[User:Iroquois|Iroquois]] 21:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* He may have ordered it off of [[ebay]] for a birthday gift to himself, and so that he can attack any trolls he meets in real life wth it. --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 21:40, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Of course, considering how improperly he uses it, anyone could kick his ass before he even had the chance to pull it out. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 21:55, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Yeah it's obvious that he thinks he can dominate people with it, and also I believe the first appearence of the nife wasn't even in a video but in Sonichu Special 4 in which Liquid uses a knife, so maybe he's had it for a while, and just started using it now? --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 6:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*Lucky there are no gun control laws over there reallly-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:50, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! ==

Look carefully, he doesn't end up using the blade, he's using one of the smaller functions (that have their turning point in the middle of the knife, not at the end). It's either the hole-drill, or the cork-screw (and probably the latter, as that's the easiest to pull out). [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 18:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*Does this mean it's a swiss army knife? If so then this should be put in the article. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:04, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yep, you're right. Good looking out there. (You can see just as he puts the knife away, he's holding it with whichever blade/tool that is sticking out between his fingers.) [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:09, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
*It's not as if the knife blade on those things is difficult to pull out. Maybe a page on "Chris and Motor Skills" might be warranted?--[[User:Draygoon|Draygoon]] 05:15, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== Okay, so who owns the Katana ==

Somebody on the CWCki's got mad samurai skills and desperately wants us all to know about it.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:28, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
*I attack random people with spoons ninja style if that counts. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:39, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
*I wasn't the one that was referring to, but I do have a katana and I practice iaijutsu. Also fencing (using a Spanish sabre), but that's not as cool. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 03:46, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== He's dumber than I could ever imagine. ==

He's in VIRGINIA. Why the hell does he have a Swiss army knife, he could go to Walmart and get a real weapon. Ignoring the fact that they sell guns, he could buy anything from a hunting knife to a fucking machete, even more if it's a Supercenter. A pocket knife isn't even good for digging out splinters, it can't even cut PAPER. Sorry about that, /kniferant --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 01:59, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
* I know this is diving into forum territory, but I wanna point this out: remember his [[tugboat]]? Yeah, he has better things to buy with his tugboat than a better knife. Oh, I'm sure he can, but he'd rather buy God of War 3, ModNation Racers and the like than buy something he really could threaten someone with.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 02:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
** Ugh, forgot about that, that brings a different kind of rage to the table. Well, it's not like he could actually threaten anyone with it, it's very unlikely that he would leave his house to attack a troll. Even he understands the kind of trouble that could cause. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:18, 1 June 2010 (UTC)
*** Believe it or not, even states like Virgina do have some restrictions on gun ownership. One of the easiest ways to get banned from owning a firearm (Other than a prior criminal record) is having a mental defect. Chris easily falls into this category... and even if he did manage to find a a gun dealer that didn't other to do a background check, they would at least have to look at his face and appearance and deny him for his autism (though it's more likely they would just assume he has down syndrome). Take some peace in knowing that Chris can't legally buy firearms --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 00:25, 29 June 2010 (EST)

== People acting like pocket knives aren't dangerous. ==

Wut.

People have killed cougars with pocket knives.

A household PENCIL can be lethal if sharpened enough.

Chris and hypocrisy

2012-05-11T09:39:27Z

DicksOak: /* "Grow up!" — Maturity */ changed Chris's age to "in his thirties" to be more accurate.

{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2">[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you.|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref name="Vanessa IRC Chat 2"/>}}

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of ''[[The Simpsons]]'']]

'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.<ref>[[wikt:hypocrisy|Wiktionary: hypocrisy]]</ref>

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Chris and religion|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracies]] or the [[JERKS|entire male sex]]. In the past he's faulted the [[Jerkops|police]], [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]]. When Chris can't fault other people for his problems, he relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==

=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===

In the latter half of [[2009]], Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This was coming from a twenty-nine-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating [[high school]], [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of [[toys]], plays [[video games]] all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|U.S. government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his thirties, he still wears his [[high school ring]], uses his old high school colors in [[art]] projects (and when he wants to portray [[Cherokian Clan|Native Americans]]), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18–22 years old, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Chris retconned their ages]] so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|fourteen-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. Aged 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshman. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics "[[Count Graduon]]."

There is also a chance that Chris, just as it is the case with the word "[[naïve]]", has been called out on his stupid bullshit numerous times with the command "grow up", and as a result views the phrase as a very harsh insult meant to be used on your enemies.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his entire life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing [[Pokémon]] cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played [[card games]].

Much like how acclaimed author [[Wikipedia:J. K. Rowling|J. K. Rowling]] went on benefits for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''[[Harry Potter]]'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a penny]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish [[Charlottesville]] residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]] and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw ''Sonichu''. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, maintaining [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping his hands off women]].

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===

While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets [[money]] and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's a (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell."<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[Niggos|blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded"<ref>[[Mumble 9.5]]</ref> and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the [[Mailbag]]s, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]], another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to [[Chores|mow a lawn]] or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're eighteen.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===

It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[homos]]exuality and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one supposedly gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to [[Megan]] that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it."<ref>[[Common Questions#1 January 2010]]</ref> Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===

Chris is resolute in his beliefs that [[homos]] are an abomination before GodJesus. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay by saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the Bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy, Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old Testament is "more for Jewish people," but the one Old Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on ''[[Family Guy]]'' is still valid.

In the world of ''Sonichu'', the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own [[semen]], and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the PS2 game ''[[Wikipedia:Katamari Damacy|Katamari Damacy]]'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "[[Chris's Big Night Out|I Love the Nightlife]]," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie. Chris also practices [[Tomgirl Pictures|crossdressing]] and shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective of [[Sonichu]] and the whole [[Sonichu (comic)|media franchise]] he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris has neither the rights to Sonichu nor an original work.

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris has outright admitted that he steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref> At the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation and has no problems dictating how people are allowed to use it.<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref> In short, he demonizes other works as "fan fiction" while failing to appreciate that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. Chris has sheltered himself from this realization by calling Sonichu a [[parody]], but shows no appreciation of other creations which he has labeled as parodies of his own work.

Since ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===

In the Mailbags, Chris describes [[CWCville]] as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then ''fined US$500''.

Several days later, Chris used the ''Sonichu'' comic to rail against celebrity news website [[Wikipedia:TMZ.com|TMZ.com]] for invading the privacy of his Electric Hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Robbie Sonee]] describing unusual interactions with a lizard.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic10P36.jpg]]</ref>

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his shit when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The GAMe PLACe]] to the Internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recording an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent. Chris later spread the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, missing the irony completely. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===
[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]

It is evident to the readers of ''Sonichu'' that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he incorporated them into the comic and had his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) beat them up.

The main victim of this treatment was [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupt Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself into a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. He gave the same treatment to many people who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was contained in the comic itself or was used for comedic effect. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) to [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]]. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with [[Liquid Chris]], he issued [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]] and tried to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he made a [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] of him shooting Liquid in the shins after disarming him. When Kacey asked him why this was depicted in the comic, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/23109 business end of a flamethrower]. Chris retaliated with a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he called the attack made on him "horrendous" and vowed that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] would avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

While Chris rallies against people making accusations of him on the internet (even those of which are true) Chris has no problem accusing others of the most horrible things imaginable. In the [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out]] series, Chris blatantly accuses [[Michael Snyder]] of ''molesting his daughter''. This is in direct contrast with Chris's [[Sonichu 10|comic]] where he illustrates clearly how he's ready to travel in the future and hoodwink his "to-be" [[Lovely Weather|wife]] into having sex with him. If we add a song [[IPods Down and Listen Up|he wrote and performed]] describing him in the act of [[Chris_and_sex#Rape|sexually assaulting]] a [[Niggos|black woman]], it hardly makes Chris a paragon of puritanical virtues.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===

Chris's hypocrisy is also evident within the astronomically-high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|welfare checks]], yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|obese]], lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. The implication of this is that serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], hypocritically, '''as he listed off all the ways in which he had wronged them.'''

Capital punishment became the subject of two videos over the next year. The first video was [[05142010]], in which Chris showed us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to stop using a comic character that he had stolen in the first place. The second video was [[DivineTrial]], in which Chris acted out a pretend trial for [[Clyde Cash]], using a [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] doll to stand in for Clyde. The trial was eerily similar to the trial of the Asperpedia Four in the comic, and ends with Clyde's execution via gunshot for the crime of cyberbullying, although this time Chris also includes that his [[PandaHalo|wife]] and child would be [[women's rights|given to]] another man, as appointed by the government.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|Pictured: Blood and gore.]]

Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris rails heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref name="Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8"/> Furthermore, Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. The deaths of Evan and Mao were particularly severe offenders. Evan was shackled to a wall and mutilated with drills for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently blasted to death by Wild and Sandy. This included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, Chris telekinetically burst his heart.

Chris also has difficulties understanding other mature themes, such as sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|he puts stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. When it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris censors swear words (including vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap") and scolds others for using them. ''Sonichu'' #10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime.

==="Nobody needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet forever===

On the afternoon of 21 March 2010, Chris announced he was [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokémon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of 22 March — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==="They took all the pretty girls, leaving none for me!" — Romantic rivalry===

One thing consistent in his [[Love Quest|efforts to get laid]] is his lamenting of women who are already in stable relationships. He, by default, hates all other [[JERKS|men]] simply because women have the option of being with any one of them over him. When he believes he's found a [[sweetheart]], he's [[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris wants to know why she sat on Christopher's lap|insecure]] and [[Media:291-ACWesBck.jpg|jealous]] that [[Man in the Pickle Suit|someone]] will try to take her away.

And yet at the same time, he has no problem in attempting to sabotage [[Kacey|other people's relationships]] and [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|taunting]] [[New Address|former boyfriends.]]

==="It's like they're shoving it in your face" — Flamboyancy===

When Chris's activities on the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum were revealed, it was no surprise that he had gone on one of his usual tirades against homosexuals. In his [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Homosexuals|response]] on the forum, Chris stated, 'I do not care much for the homosexual males either. I mean, I really feel offended when they get soo flamboyant with their ways and such, it's like they're shoving it in your face'. Consider for one minute that, on that same forum, Chris had openly admitted that he has [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|recently been using the women's washroom]], and even on one occasion had someone complain about him and was likewise shouted at. So not only is Chris cavorting about in women's clothing in public on a regular basis, he has now taken to using the improper washroom, much to the chagrin of those around him. Call Chris's new found behavior what you will: closet homosexuality, a desperate plea for attention, symbolically castrating himself to subconsciously evoke his frivolity, or getting in touch with his 'feminine side' (as he calls it). Whatever it is, he sure as hell is shoving it in people's faces.

What is surprising, though, is how quickly two-faced Chris can get. When trying to [[Calling Out|expose]] [[Jack Thaddeus]], he revealed that not only was he transsexual, but also having gone through a sex change and was using it to go after guys. While Chris was supportive of being a "fellow Tomgirl", he wasn't supportive of the fact that he was going after guys. Consider the fact that, at one time, Chris stated that he would rather have a sex change than be gay. Thus, to Chris, having a sex change is still fine and dandy only if you're going after [[china]].

==="If you are not careful, you really are going to go to jail." - Law===

Chris often attempts to get trolls in trouble with the law, claiming they should be given prison sentences for (sometimes completely legal) acts that [[Chris_and_the_Law#Law_troubles|he himself has also committed.]]

After watching Youtube videos posted by [[Liquid Chris]], Chris threw a [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|childish fit]] in which he threatened to call authorities because Liquid was impersonating him. He, however, had no qualms claiming to be Liquid to try to trick [[Kacey]] into [[China|coming over to visit him.]]

When he found out that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had dated [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace]], Chris accused Howell of statutory rape, as at the time Howell was 20 and Kathleen was 17, either ignoring or oblivious to the fact that several state technicalities might make their relationship entirely legal. Chris later depicts himself winning the affection of 17-year-old [[Meg Griffin]] in [[Sonichu 10]], which he makes no effort to reject.

Chris and his parents have threatened numerous trolls with harassment charges, completely disregarding the fact that [[Love Quest|harassment is what Chris does best.]] Not to mention that, whatever the trolls have done, Chris's [[Death threats|public reactions]] are far more disturbing, violent, and can legally be interpreted as threats to their subjects' safety. Because of his flagrant disregard for [[Mary_Lee_Walsh#Possible_reconciliation|trespassing notices]] and the definition of what the word [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Unbanning_Attempts|"banned"]] means, [[28 October 2011|he will soon appear in front of a judge.]]

Most recently, in the third of the [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris has the gall to vaguely tell Surfshack Tito and Thorg that "the police will catch up with [them]" right after expressing the purpose of the series: To blackmail the two of them into sending him cash. In the next video, Chris admitted that these demands are extortion and retracts them, but in the video immediately afterwards, seemed to once again expect the money.

==="We do not like to stand under one leader." - Authoritarianism===

In the [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]] video, Chris continues to drop info on fellow lolcow and autistic manchild [http://adfki.wikinet.org/wiki/ADF Ahuviya Harel], the man/woman believed to be Jack Thaddeus, mocking him/her for his/her communist views. While Ahuviya is infamous for his/her admiration of the Soviet Union and for understanding very little of the principles of his/her ideology other than as a framing device for his/her violent fantasies, Chris likewise, as a man(child) who [[Chris and Religion|does not understand many of the finer points of his own religion other than the bits condemning homosexuality]] [[A Public Announcement for Congress|and believes that the Federal Government just magically pulls welfare money out of its ass]] probably has no idea of what Communism is, other than that it was the ideology of [[China|some people who did some not very nice things in its name]] and that some countries that followed it were on the United States' shitlist at one time or another. This was further evidenced by Chris breaking out the [[Donald Duck impersonation]] and singing "[[Wikipedia:Der Fuehrer's Face|Der Fuehrer's Face]]", despite the fact that [[Wikipedia:First they came...|Communists, Trade Unionists, and other leftists were some of the first victims of the Holocaust]].

Perhaps the most ironic part of Chris's sudden condemnation of authoritarianism is, of course, [[CWCville]]. While CWCville was at first mostly just Chris's imaginary hugbox, with places like the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] (held in high regard by Chris, as his mayoral office is located there) showcasing Chris's [[naive]], mindless materialistic and consumerist tendencies. However, as Chris's conflicts with the [[trolls]] escalated, some unpleasant things began to occur. Suddenly, with numerous state-funded Soup Hotels for the homeless began to crop up after the city-state's economy apparently collapsed and left thousands upon thousands jobless on the streets. Later on, in particular during the events of [[Sonichu 10]], Chris began to show signs of being a ruthless dictator, with CWCville as a dystopian nightmare, such as the trial of the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia 4]], who were given no defense, had little evidence of [[Simonla Rosechu|their crimes]] presented, and yet were found guilty and subject to horrific torture and execution at the hands of Chris and his cronies.

While one could argue that CWCville is simply a harmless, childish fantasy that has been corrupted by Chris's reactions to the trolls, Chris [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|actually believes that it is real]], and, given [[Death Threats|some of his reactions to the trolls]], one would do well not to think [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|what would happen if he actually had that level of power in real life]].

==="Look at his "slender" figure" - Obesity===

Chris seems to be completely unaware of his own weight, possibly a result of the self-image he formed over the course of high school. His [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|portrayal of himself in the comics]] is often incredibly flattering in terms of appearance. It once got to the point that the irony of [[Sammy|him writing a "fat" version of himself into the comics]] was completely lost on him. He regularly describes himself as "average" at worst.

And yet, he regularly derides others for their weight, most notably in the [[Calling Out]] series, where, he repeatedly called [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Alec]] and [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Surfshack Tito]] "fat." He even had the balls to say [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|"[Christopher Paul Whitney]'s fat! Iiiiii'm thin!"]] during the outing of Alec Benson Leary. It's possible he might even have contempt for fat people--during his [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki#Christianchandler|November 4 edits to the CWCki]] he changed the description of [[Michael Snyder]]'s image to "Michael Snyder, the dirty '''Fat''', child-molesting <s>Jew</s> gentile," adding the emphasis himself. While it might be that he simply does not realize how much his appearance had changed since he was a teen, his constant insulting of other people's weight is a blatant case of self-contradiction.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; [[Chris and English|an adjective]]; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' games regardless of quality, and wear and display ''[[Pokémon]]'' merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed ''Sonic'' and ''Pokémon'' when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}

Template talk:Da update

2012-04-12T22:51:16Z

DicksOak: /* EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS */

==Three videos from the 12th==
Why are they not here? We have Chris singing, Chris out in public with actual sunlight, and making a dumb as fuck comment, that is what an update is, my friends. You may be saying "But Champthom, why haven't you?" and I say to you "NO U!" Seriously, stuff should go on this template first before it ends up on the CWChronology. Srsly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:30, 15 July 2009 (CEST)

==Gardening==
Did a little gardening by removing a few of the posts from this template. It was taking up quite a bit of room on the main page.

Remember to add to both [[Da Update]] and the corresponding month and vice versa, sometimes this doesn't happen. [[User:Granola|Granola]] 02:11, 16 August 2009 (CEST)

== Da update versus CWCipediaTracker ==

People, please, given the status of the CWCipedia, all CWCipedia related updates belong in the [[:Template:CWCipediaTracker|CWCipedia Tracker]] whereas things like new videos, leaked material, etc. belong here in Da update.

Seriously, I am disappoint. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:36, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
* I think a lot of that is my fault. I didn't understand the difference; I assumed they overlapped. Sorry about that. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 15:17, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

== A book? ==

Chris is seriously writing a book? That can't be true. Also, he mentions that one of his "gal friends" is helping him write it. This has got to be one of Chris's lies. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:04, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Maybe he's getting over ''Sonichu'' even if he promised a super-duper issue for the tenth anniversary of the Fail-Comic. As far as the "Lady-Friend" goes, we saw her in a previous video. (Hint; she's inflatable). [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:31, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
:::I feel sorry for [[Kimmi]]. She is always dragged into Chris's bullshit and she is unable to object to it. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:58, 10 March 2010 (UTC)
*Guys, [[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Stuff like this doesn't belong here. There's other places to discuss this like [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/25081.html this Krapple thread] or something like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:20, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

== It should be obvious but ==

Only Chris related updates belong here.

Shit like [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] can go on the [[Fan:Index]].

Srsly, don't pull this shit again or else someone is getting banned. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:46, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

== Important something which I will delete in a minute ==
Damnit, how do I get to the cwcipedia tracker? Mailbag 60 is up. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:49, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
*I got it covered. In future, when you edit the main page, it'll give a link to the templates used on the main page at the bottom. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:08, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

==Suggested Update==
Someone added Sydney getting busted to the months events, so did we want to add it here?

Suggestion: In a rare win for Chris, the manchild identifies and shoots down a [[Sydney Contacts|troll]] based off information garnered from the troll forums.

--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:45, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I assume that you told nobody of your plan to pose as a girl with the intent of getting him to answer the Mailbag again. It wasn't any moment of clarity, he just had you mixed up with Jackie.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:07, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*I am firmly 'No Comment'ing anything that relates to how, precisely, Sydney's cover was blown. Sorry mate. If you are desperate to know, you should know where to go to ask. PS <3 your rambles, FYI. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:04, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

== 17 June ==

Chris just returned to Twitter. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:04, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

:Is there a reason you're putting this on the talk page instead of the actual template? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 01:30, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
::<del>Template's locked.</del> Now for some reason it's open again. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:32, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

== Template locked ==

For the mall waiting video I think we should take the 'money' part out to avoid suspicion and revert it to 'unknown reason'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 17:20, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
*Why? I thought CWCki was against censorship. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 17:27, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
**You need to unlock the template... [[Clyde_and_Tito_PS3_E-mails]] needs to be added...
**If we show that we know what Chris was waiting for, it could harm a very promising saga. I thought this was one of the things that we would keep quiet for now until it's safe to let Chris know that we be trollin'. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 23:42, 2 September 2010 (PDT)
***Ohh... I see. I GUESS that makes sense, but the article is definitely on the CWCki and linked from quite a few pages. He might just search for it and find it anyway... but knowing Chris, that's not too likely. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 05:26, 3 September 2010 (PDT)

== I found something. ==

As of now on the Rule 34 Pahael site they have the picture of sailor moon Chris-chan as the featured image. Is this notable? Anyone care? [[User:No.|Written by this person.]] 15:30, 16 September 2010 (PDT)
:It's already been uploaded and added to the [[Sailor Moon]] article. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 15:36, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

== Is there a reason for a lack of new update notices? ==

--[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:43, 23 September 2010 (PDT)
:I had a stab at it. With so many leaked documents recently, it's easy to forget about da update =) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:06, 23 September 2010 (PDT)

== Notability and Da update ==

What makes something worthy of being included in Da update? If something's worth mentioning on the [[July 2011|monthly chronology]], wouldn't it also warrant a mention on Da update? I'm thinking specifically of the entry "21 July: Chris reveals his identity in a Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post." from [[July 2011|here]].

== 'Where no shit is too minor.' ==
Why was the phone message update deleted? It was quite relevant if you think about it, as he sounded legitimately unwell. It is worth at least some discussion. --[[User:Reldnahc C|I am tomgirlmanbearpig]] 06:48, 9 December 2011 (PST)
: One word; Liability. I believe there's legal consequences in linking this material here. Now that the Virginian justice system is dealing with Chris, better not putting a lightning rod on top of this site. If Chris is dumb enough to not try to close the CWCki, Rocky is another matter. Download the audio and stash it, just don't post it here. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:53, 9 December 2011 (PST)
::I think he means the answering machine thing. The reason that's not up here is just because it's not "big" enough. Quite a few people only check the CWCki to look at the update. What goes in the update should be big enough to pique their interest. "Chris says he's sick" isn't good enough. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 07:58, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:: What the heck did Griffintown thing he meant? Feel free to say you can't say... but what the heck was up here that would have been considered a 'liability'? --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:42, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:::There's an audio file out there with Rocky talking about Chris. It's on the /cwc/ and I thought we were talking about this audio. As far as the answering machine's message goes, it doesn't fit on the update page. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:56, 9 December 2011 (PST)
:We also lack an exact date of when he changed the message. It may have been that way for a while. The liability thing is not an issue - it's more than beyond the scope of the court proceedings. But yeah - the main point is - no shit is to minor re: the CWCki in general - but Da update bulletins are reserved for significant developments, such as the release of new material (by Chris or about Chris from true trolls) or events that involve Chris or a major actor in his life so far. A dry spell for Chris news is not an excuse to lower the bar of what's significant and what isn't. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 11:35, 9 December 2011 (PST)
I was the one who added the message to the template, and I understand why it was removed. I do apologize. [[User:Interrobang|Interrobang]] 13:26, 9 December 2011 (PST)

== Is this new or not? ==

http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Weston-Chandler/100002534669114

It's most likely a troll account, but I've never seen that picture before. --[[User:R3trogay|R3trogay]] 10:10, 26 January 2012 (PST)
:Either it's Chris or it's someone DELIBERATELY HOARDING CONTENT and then leaking it for no reason. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 10:21, 26 January 2012 (PST)
*It's the same account that was accredited to be Chris's last time he made one...he just updated the photo for his profile and made a note in september. --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 16:43, 26 January 2012 (PST)
**this IS chris however its not going on Da Update because chris DOES read the front page and dont want him to close his FB account [[User:Slimz|.-~ Slimz ~-.]] 05:03, 27 January 2012 (PST)

== Recent events ==

Dear old [[User:MellowColor|MellowColor]], perhaps the simplest of us all, is the first of you to ask the burning question - why isn't the new content, like Facebook and the Lemonade Stand thing, on Da update? Personally, I think these are significant developments that should be notified on Da update. After all, Da update is why most people come here - they'll come to see what's new with Chris. I think we should point out that yes, there is new content and Chris is up to his usual hijinks. Now of course, I understand why people have been reluctant to add it - they're afraid that Chris will see it, and stop posting stuff on Facebook and such. I can see that it'd be imprudent, but should we be concerned with Chris producing content? I personally don't like using the CWCki as a trolling tool, including censoring ourselves in order to get more content from Chris. But that's mostly my opinion though.

So what say you all? Should we perhaps have a [[Wikipedia:Media blackout|media blackout]] of sorts? Should we lock this template until Chris is producing content again? I've thought of adding something along the lines of "This template is currently in lockdown mode, please check Recent changes for up-to-date news" but of course that'll just mean Chris will start checking out Recent updates (though he'd have to go through the effort of picking out what's new). Should we raise the bar on what constitutes an update? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:19, 23 February 2012 (PST)
:I think while Chris is less active, we should lower the bar to a certain extent. It's not that we are desperate for Da Update to be updated all the time - but minor things can sometimes lead up to larger events, so Da Update can also serve as a "heads up" kind of system. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 06:56, 23 February 2012 (PST)

==EDIT WAR IN PROGRESS==

I'm getting several notificiations a minute about new edits and it's fucking with my down time. Talk it out here or somewhere else rather than just undoing one anothers' edits. Preferably with several minutes between posts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 12:21, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:Those who have access to Chris' Facebook have confirmed that the update is genuine, those who are in a position to confirm it on the ground have confirmed it. What more is required?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 12:58, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::How was it confirmed, exactly? Did they talk to the girl he fucked? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 13:07, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::All I've seen of confirmation is Cogdev's twitter that the post is legit. I've yet to see a confirmation that Chris actually had sex with anyone, which is how the articles were written. Not to mention that the word of trolls has never been extremely reliable (see Ali Baboo or whatever his name was), it could be a joke for all we know.

::Waiting a few days for more confirmation (if it exists) is a good idea at this point. If no more comes of this, it should probably be left off the CWCki entirely in my opinion. If others disagree or if no confirmation exists that Chris actually had sex, we should write the articles accordingly, i.e. say Chris claims to have had sex, not just assuming that Chris actually told the truth for once. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:12, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

:::What form of confirmation would work for you?[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 13:31, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::Confirmation from multiple users who have shown to be reliable in the past. Screenshots from other users. An actual picture (as in from a camera) or video of the facebook account or anything harder to fake. Something from the facebook of someone who we know is actually in contact with him, etc. One easily photoshopped picture really isn't much to go on.
::::Hell, Cogs or another admin could come on and tell us to keep it up and then it would stay. But that email from the Gameplace incident didn't go up for quite a while because it wasn't verifiable, this is no different. This is more an ED sort of thing until we get more info. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 13:56, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::I think you have a good point with the GAMePLACe email. From my understanding, that one didn't come through 'regular' channels, meaning it took longer than normal to verify, but I think having something more to go on would be useful. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::http://twitter.com/#!/cogsdev/status/190273723620794368 There's your confirmation. To be honest the only thing that surprises me about this is that he didn't do it as soon as Bob kicked the bucket.--[[User:GladesPlugin|GladesPlugin]] 14:46, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::Chris actually had sex. That's what the cwcki should say. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 13:45, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::With what I said above in mind, is there any way you can get a screencap that isn't so heavily cropped and/or uses the standard FaceBook font? I think one of the main reasons this has been doubted so far is because it LOOKS fake. All the other FaceBook screencaps have been in a standard format to which this screencap doesn't adhere. If you could get that, I think it would do a lot to assuage peoples' doubts. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:04, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::Uhh, maybe. But either way, Chris having gotten laid should be cwcki policy from now on. I think I have the authority to do that, right? I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. If not, I'll just find champ or cogs and have them do it. But I'm pretty sure I'm in the admin group. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:10, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::If Canine is considered a good enough source (if he isn't he should be) would it be alright for me to revert the relevant edits? Or would people prefer me to wait until a better screenshot is provided? (The old one can always stay up as a placeholder before being replaced by a new one.)[[User:Team CWCket|Team CWCket]] 14:17, 12 April 2012 (PDT)

::::::: For the record, This is just Chris CLAIMING to have lost his virginity, not actual confirmation of his lost virginity. You can write that Chris CLAIMED to have gotten laid, not that he actually got laid. That's my $.02 --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:31, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::No one's answered my question. Do we have a confirmation from the supposed unlucky woman and her identity is being withheld or are we just taking Chris's word for it? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 14:34, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::I agree with this. That's been the standard on what we do when Chris has said things of this nature in the past. If there's something else that acts as evidence aside from Chris' testimony, I think we should wait until it's released to claim that what he said was actually true. Chris has a tendency to integrate fiction into what he presents as reality. For example, I think it's reasonable to assume that they didn't actually "hit it off from the shared characteristic of being good people". Until we know what's real and what isn't, I don't think we should present any of it as more than what Chris said happened. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:43, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::::Uhh... I don't know. Like, sure, Chris will bullshit things. I'd say that Chris actually got laid. Chris got genuine vaginal sex. I can't verify anything else he claimed. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:50, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::I don't doubt that he did. I don't think you'd be pushing this if you didn't believe it. I think the issue Jesusfish was pointing out with the mention of the GAMePLACe email, and the main issue I have, is that unlike almost everything on the wiki that's presented as fact, there's not yet any physical confirmation that what he said correlates with reality. If there's more, which it would seem there is from your certainty, that's fine, but if it's not publicly available, it doesn't matter if we all agree that everything Chris wrote is true, it's against policy to treat it as fact. To quote the policy:
::::::::::"In order for something to be considered update worthy, it has to be a publicly available media involving Chris. '''While there are many reliable sources who can provide information on Chris, it still does not hold up to encyclopedic standards, which CWCki strives to adhere to.'''" I'm not saying I don't believe you, just that we shouldn't say it's true until we have something that indicates that it is beyond the boasts of the world's least reliable narrator. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 15:08, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::::::So... the former, then? Cool, thanks for answering. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 15:26, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::Thanks, by the way. It's been bothering me as much as it's been bothering other people and I think it's something that should be cleared up while it's still fresh. —Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] ([[User talk:Freecell|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/Freecell|contribs]]) 14:44, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::I'm really starting to think this is just part of a trolling attempt on Chris and/or the trolls by PVCC. A bunch of users who haven't done anything for years show up and try really hard to get the CWCki to say that Chris got laid, not just claimed to but actually did it. I don't know if there's a policy on the CWCki trolling Chris, but we probably need an admin to step in and give the say either way. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 14:48, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::I'm an admin. Chris had sex. And it's not just that he claimed he had sex. Chris had sex. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 14:50, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
::::::Scratch that, saw that you have protected pages before, although you've also edited articles trying to troll Chris. Still doesn't make me believe he actually had sex, but whatever, if people want it up and admins say so, it'll go up. [[User:Jesusfish|Jesusfish]] 15:05, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::Using the cwcki as a trolling tool is a really bad habit and I apologize for ever having done that. With that having been said, Chris *has* gotten laid. He's almost gotten laid in the past. He's tried to hire hookers before. He just managed to succeed this time. [[User:Canine|Canine]] 15:24, 12 April 2012 (PDT)
:::::::ANGRY VIRGINS IN DENIAL: GENERAL

List of phrases Chris copied from media

2012-02-21T12:03:43Z

DicksOak: /* Seth MacFarlane shows */

It is no secret that Chris spends a [[Chris and health|healthy]] portion of his day watching Television shows. His preferences become apparent not only because he will constantly force you to listen to him talk about them, but also because Chris, in his infinite [[Chris and copyright|originality]], likes to take phrases and sentences from shows and use them word by word in his everyday [[Chris and English|speech]]. This article attempts to list all of these occurrences, especially those he has used repeatedly.

==Seth MacFarlane shows==

[[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] is the creator of the animated comedies ''[[Family Guy]]'', ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' and ''American Dad!''

;Blocky low resolution
<blockquote>
*Source: When referring to ''Asperchu'' 's inferiority, e.g. [[Mailbag 41]], [[Mailbag 42|42]], [[Mailbag 43|43]] and [[Mailbag 45|45]] 
*Origin: ''Family Guy'': "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]"
</blockquote>

;Grinds my gears
<blockquote>
*Source: The [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality CWCipedia page on homosexuality], [[Mailbag 2]] 
*Origin: ''Family Guy'''s "[[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story]]" episode: Peter gets his own segment, "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?", talking about things that annoy him, or "grind [his] gears" 
</blockquote>

;Insert rod "A" into slot "B"
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Sonichu 8]], Page 1
*Origin: The line was originally said in the ''Family Guy'' episode "[[Wikipedia:Emission Impossible|Emission Impossible]]", when Peter is making a crib for the other baby he and Lois expect to have. Brian, reading the instructions, says, "Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." Peter responds by saying "That's what she sa-" and is then cut off by Brian saying, "If you say 'That's what she said' one more time, I'm 'gonna pop you."
</blockquote>

;iPods down and listen up
<blockquote>
*Source: ''Family Guy's'' [[Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prick_Up_Your_Ears_%28Family_Guy%29|Prick Up Your Ears]].
*Origin: The principle of the high school says this phrase. Also, Chris yelling "IN DA EAAAAYUR!" was taken from one of Lois' lines in the episode.
</blockquote>

;iRitz
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 51]]
*Origin: ''The Cleveland Show'': "[[Wikipedia:Love Rollercoaster|Love Rollercoaster]]" - A joke in which Cleveland is Steve Jobs and invents the edible cellphone, the iRitz.
</blockquote>

;George Washington Carver finding over 300 uses for peanuts (but not peanut butter)
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Mailbag 53]]
*Origin: ''American Dad!'': "[[Wikipedia:Black Mystery Month|Black Mystery Month]]" - The episode centered around an attempt to disprove [[Wikipedia:George Washington Carver|George Washington Carver]] as the inventor of peanut butter, and this quote ends the episode. It is likely from context this is his only experience with [[Niggos|Black]] History Month
</blockquote>

;Dork of Ages
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)]]
*Origin: ''American Dad!'': "[[Wikipedia:Dungeons and Wagons|Dungeons and Wagons]]" - A nickname that Hayley uses to refer to Steve, when playing "Dragon Scuffle".
</blockquote>

==''[[Wikipedia:Rocko's Modern Life|Rocko's Modern Life]]''==
;Bad luck and extreme misfortune
<blockquote>
*Source: Describing the effects of the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: "Fortune Cookie": Filburt's fortune cookie reads "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" 
</blockquote>

==Dragonball==
;Kamehameha
<blockquote>
*Source: [[Parody|The inspiration]] for Chris's finishing move, the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] 
*Origin: It's the most famous attack from DragonBall Z 
</blockquote>

==''[[Excel Saga]]''==
;I'm much saltier now
<blockquote>
*Source: Chris likes to say this to say that he's less [[naive]] about sex than he was in high school thanks to porn. 
*Origin: Something Excel says to comment on her training. In particular, she's responding to someone describing her as "sweet", which is the only way the sentence sounds even remotely appropriate. 
</blockquote>

==''[[South Park]]''==
;Breakin' my balls
<blockquote>
*Source: Said about something that gives him a lot of [[stress]]. (This is actually a common phrase, but knowing Chris and his track record of [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarism]], he more than likely stole it from ''South Park''.)
*Origin: "[[Wikipedia:Kenny Dies|Kenny Dies]]": Cartman tries to start a business selling aborted fetuses to stem cell research laboratories. When making deals over the phone, he says "Ugh, you're breakin' my balls man. Got 'em in a vice grip, here." 
</blockquote>

;Shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear
<blockquote>
*Source: Threatened [[Clyde Cash]] with this line in the video [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]. 
*Origin: "[[Wikipedia:The Breast Cancer Show Ever|The Breast Cancer Show Ever]]": Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight after the latter makes an extremely tasteless breast cancer joke. Cartman, not wanting to fight, tries to talk her out of it, but refuses to apologize for the joke publicly, prompting Wendy to threaten him with this line.
</blockquote>

==[[Transformers]]==
;One shall stand, one shall fall.
<blockquote>
*Source: Used in a speech he gave to Clyde Cash during the infamous [[IRC (20 January 2009)|20 January 2009 IRC chat]], where Chris revealed that he had several pairs of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].
*Origin: [[Optimus Prime]] has said this phrase several times to Megatron in the television series, as well as the Transformers movie from 2007.
</blockquote>

==''[[Star Trek]]''==

;Captain's Log, Stardate.
<blockquote>
*Source: The introduction to many of his videos.
*Origin: The typical intro to an episode of the television series and any entry to the film series.

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls

2011-11-13T18:07:01Z

DicksOak: monkier means nickname. I'm pretty sure Sonee and Rosee are their... types... or some shit. I don't know, it should just be nomenclature.

{{recent}}
[[Image:Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls Bandmates.jpg|thumb|The band in all their cross-dressing Crayola glory]]

'''Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls''' are a fictional band who debuted in [[November 2011]] with their first album, ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]''. Like [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls are comprised of familiar faces. In this case, it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee, Christine Rosee and Cerah Rosee]]. Despite them being full-blown Sonichu and Rosechu, they still use the Sonee and Rosee nomenclature.

== Discography ==
* ''[[SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD]]'' - Leaked 12 November 2011

== See also ==
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]

== Links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?yryd7ej3jwh1cnf Debut album download]

[[Category: Music]]
[[Category:Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]

Talk:Dreams

2011-10-11T19:00:56Z

DicksOak:

Not even close to finished here, but I figured I'd toss up the starters here. One bit of info I'm still looking for on this one. Is there a source hereabouts for the old claim that he had the Crystal dream when he was 21? I can't find one, although I haven't looked that hard yet. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:28, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*That'd be good if someone could find it, though you've managed to find a quote at least about it being mentioned in a dream. Anyways, fantastic job. You've managed to take my page suggestion and turn it into something better than I originally planned. Perhaps this is too speculative, but do you (or anyone else) think it would be too much of a stretch to suggest that the fact his "Sonic on Game Boy" dream came true, that has caused Chris to put creedence in his other dreams (i.e. Sonichu will be famous, he'll have a daughter named Crystal, etc.)? Anyways, good job thus far. My only comment for improvement is to cite your sources. WHICH IRC chat does he talk about the PandaHalo dream (I totally forgot about that one, so it'd be good if you could source it). Keep up the good work. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:06, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** Thanks. The Sonic thing is a good one, I'll look up the dates of when Sega started going cross-platform and see what I can put together. And yeah, there's definitely some stuff where I need to clean up and add some references. One more thing, by the way -- I've seen it claimed he had dreams analogous to the Blanca one about Ivy and Julie. Know where he mentioned those? (I'm guessing it might be somewhere in those reams of untranscribed Mumble chats and so forth.) [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 21:08, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** I swear Chris mentioned the Sonic dream coming true at some point. --[[User:Raikonos|Raikonos]] 01:39, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
** How about a mention of the recurring dream where he meets his sweetheart in a watery maze? [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 19:17, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
*** Good one. Does anybody know of a time he's mentioned that dream aside from the Buzz quiz?
**** We could always drop a letter in the Mailbag asking about the details of it. Maybe say you're a psychoanalysist and are interested in the dream for X/Y/Z reasons? We could also cross-reference the contents of a dream with one of those dream dictionaries and see what they're supposedly meant to mean. e.g. Looking up water (the impression I get from "watery" is that it's underwater - much like 'watery grave'), maze and girlfriend yields; '''(under)water;''' To dream that you are underwater, suggests that you are feeling overcome with emotions and are in need of greater control in your life. You may be in over your head regarding some situation '''maze;''' To dream that you are in a maze, denotes that you need to deal with the task on hand on a more direct level. You are making the situation harder than it really is. Alternatively, the maze symbolizes life's twists and turns. It represents confusion, missteps, feeling lost or being misled. '''girlfriend'''; To see your girlfriend in your dream, represents your waking relationship with her and how you feel about her. So, combined; The watery maze dream signifies that Chris needs to get in control of his life, and focus more directly on finding a girlfriend (rather than playing a passive role). [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 20:27, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
***** Although this sounds accurate to Chris's life and actual sound advice, keep in mind he probably doesn't understand that dreams are most likely not to be taken 100% literally (no matter how real and quick it seems), he'll never research this, he'll never take responsibility for himself and his actions in order to tackle things directly. More importantly he's too lazy to take a direct role and rather would wait for things to come to him. Although, if he ever did read what his dream meant, giving his track record for blindly following dreams and whims, he might do it for a bit before giving up because it's too much hard work. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 12:14 7 August, 2010 (EST)
* Would this be better suited as a "Chris and X" article? --[[User:DicksOak|DicksOak]] 12:00, 11 October 2011 (PDT)

Asperchu

2011-10-06T08:36:12Z

DicksOak: /* Chris on Asperchu */

[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|The first drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
:''This article discusses the award-winning comic series '''''Asperchu''''' and its relationship with Chris. For information about the ''Asperchu'' series itself, please see [[Asperchu/Background]].''
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Trolls
|-
! colspan="2" |Christopher Paul Whitney
|-
| '''Alias'''
| Alec Benson Leary
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 1975
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| American
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|}
'''''Asperchu''''' is a comic series created by Alec Benson Leary of [[Wikipedia:Eden Prairie, Minnesota|Eden Prairie, Minnesota]].<ref>[[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas]]</ref> His deft [[art]]work, [[Chris and writing|gripping stories, and excellent characterization]] has resulted in the series gaining hundreds of fans in the few short months since its inception. Many of these fans were discontented followers of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], which have recently become exponentially more disturbing.

==Similarities to Chris==
[[File:Vote sonichu for DA.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] for DA]]
While Alec has stated that Asperchu is not a parody of [[Chris]],<ref>[[Mailbag 32]]</ref> there are many similarities between the two. Both of them are [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[naïve]] individuals who find themselves somewhat out of place in the world. They both address the masses through [[List of Videos|YouTube videos]], and both are preoccupied with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[sweetheart]].

These similarities between the two characters has resulted in no shortage of [[Chris and Anger|rage]] from Chris. He seems to feel that the only reason Asperchu exists is to poke fun at him. He also takes serious offense at the idea of a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] who suffers from [[Asperger's]], for some reason.

==Chris on Asperchu==
{{quote|''Die'', you son of a bitch! Alec... '''Die'''.|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Down With Asperchu]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|The second drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
It's no secret that Chris hates [[Asperger syndrome]] (and presumably everybody that suffers from it), due to some illusory sense of competition between Asperger's and other disorders on the [[autism]] spectrum. The knowledge that someone had created a series about an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] who suffered from the affliction did not sit well with him. He became even worse when the creator of the series himself started sending him e-mails.

The first recorded communication we have between Alec and Chris implies that Alec had been in contact with him multiple times outside of the public view and that Chris had responded to these communications negatively.<ref>[[Mailbag 10#Meet Asperchu]]</ref> Chris didn't respond any better on his public mailbag, claiming that Alec was jealous of him and inexplicably alleging that the included fan art of Asperchu and Sonichu implied [[homos]]exuality.

Upset that Chris would jump to such conclusions, Alec sent him another letter, depicting Sonichu and Asperchu having good, masculine, straight fun.<ref>[[Mailbag 17#Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo]]</ref> This letter was even more poorly received.

Undaunted, Alec continued to send letters to Chris's mailbag, thinking that perhaps the man he respected so much really just misunderstood him. A few of these letters were [[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|ignored]], some were [[Mailbag 28#Hey kids, it's Asperchu!|coldly dismissed]], but Chris's most [[Mailbag 31#Asperchu is the shit|notable]] [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|responses]] were explosive outbursts of [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and hatred. Eventually, Chris began [[Mailbag 35#No comment|refusing to respond]] to Alec's correspondence, or [[Mailbag 34#Asperpedia!|deleting his messages outright]].

In ''Asperchu'' Issue C, Chris made an appearance asking for help from the characters to save Asperchu. Later, he and [[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] met up with each other, leading to a standoff where Chris tried to shoot him. Chris [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|responded]] to the comic, mentioning that he was set on fire in the comic. He didn't seem to notice that he was also called by the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], nor did he notice the appearance of Liquid Chris.

Since the ''Asperchu'' saga started really taking off, Chris's schedule for [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]] has [[stress|dropped drastically]].

Beyond this, Chris made clear that he also hates the comic because of its "uncensored pictures" and "low resolution and blocky art". Here, we see Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in action. The "uncensored pictures" he's all up in arms over are just minor posters hung up mostly in Asperchu's room and even so, they are mostly hidden away by the character's heads. Chris's "uncensored pictures" are done by the main characters in full view, despite the fact that ''Sonichu'' is supposed to be a "kids' comic". A<s>s for the low resolution and blocky art, the artwork is done through an art program (presumably Photoshop, if one of Alec's correspondences to Chris is correct), thus it does seem a bit blocky.</s> (Scratch this, Chris is an idiot and stole the terms "blocky" and "low-resolution" from the [[Family Guy]] episode Road to the Multiverse). Of course, compared to Chris's [[Chris and Art|art]], it's the fucking ''Mona Lisa''. It also helps that Alec is humble and doesn't try to act like his artwork is amazing and worthy of being hung in a museum.

==Asperpedia==
[[Image:Mao Bamboo Ling.JPG||thumb|Mao, rockin' sunglasses.]]
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|Clearly, Asperchu is pure evil.]]
After finishing the first three issues of his comic, Alec Benson Leary set up his own Mediawiki website where one could read all existing comics, as well as a number of articles about the world of ''Asperchu'', and read fan mail answered by Mr. Leary. Soon afterward, portals were added to the site for other notable comics, such as [[Evan]]'s [[Evan#Simonchu|''Simonchu'']], {{anchor|Sean}} and ''Sonichu is Dead'' creator Sean August Watley's latest project, ''Moon-Pals''. In [[February 2010]], more comics were added, including Alec's ''Sonichu Revolution'', Sean's ''Sonichu is Dead'' and ''Sonichu is Gay'', and Isabel Monday's ''Capering Berries''.

[[Jack Thaddeus]], recognizing the incredible profit potential of ''Asperchu'', immediately began advertising the new website on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris responded to these new ads, and his newfound knowledge of Alec's website with a series of increasingly disturbing videos<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]], [[12 January 2010]], [[14 January 2010]], [[15 January 2010]], [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref> where he made his opinions on the matter quite clear.

Alec, being a gentle soul has not directly responded to any of Chris's offensive videos. When [[Down with Asperchu#Alec's response to the video|asked by a concerned fan]], he outlined his planned course of action as one of peace, citing his personal hero, [[Wikipedia:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]]. His webmaster, Mao "Bamboo" Ling has opted for a more direct approach, speaking to Chris directly in two short [[YouTube]] videos.

The large banner ad for Asperpedia was replaced by a link to information on the U.S. Government's efforts to help the victims of [[Wikipedia:2010 Haiti earthquake|the earthquake in Haiti]], because Alec cares about the plight of his fellow man.

Due to the growing popularity of ''Asperchu'' over ''Sonichu'', the site recently set up a fan portal where aspiring writers can make their own ''Sonichu'' fanfictions. Various pre-existing titles, including ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'', are also hosted in the fan section. There is even a parody version of [[CWCipedia]] set up by Mao, where totally fictitious articles on ''Sonichu''-related things are made, including photoshopped images of the original comic.

Eventually on May 27, 2010, Mao took complete control of CWCipedia, after which Alec and [[Vivian Gee]] started uploading ''Sonichu'' Season 2. The CWCipedia was then permanently deleted for Mao to gain the upper hand after noting to the Comic Fury staff that, without ''Sonichu'' and Chris to bargain for a lower price, they must be forced to sign with him. The rights to the Asperpedia was then sold for $150,000.

===The 19 January Demands===
On 19 January 2010, Chris uploaded twelve new pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which are centered mostly around Asperchu and the Asperpedia. [[Chris and his ego|Ever the heroic savior]], Chris pictures himself, along with [[Ultra Sonichu]], destroying the slanderous Asperpedia and saving Alec's characters from their [[Asperger syndrome|terrible affliction]], with Asperchu himself getting an "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" and becoming "[[Mitch Sonichu]]".

Not content with this, Chris then issued an ultimatum to Alec through a blog post:

{{Quote|Although within Alec's Hands, Asperchu IS a horrific joke, not only because of the uncensored nudity, wrongful character usage and all that, but also because the whole thing is drawn in a c***py Blocky and Low Resolution way.

I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever, but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and Extreme Electric Makeover as a template. He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him [[Mitch Sonichu]].|Chris's featured quote on January 19, 2010.}}

Alec didn't listen to Chris's demands, instead keeping everyone there and just introducing Mitch Sonichu as simply "Mitch Chu", who appears to be a [[Homos|gay stylist]], as well as Whisp Sonichu as the character Whispy Sonichu, Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin.

==Apologies==
In [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|a 1 February 2010 video]], Chris finally admitted that Asperchu was not a [[parody]] of himself or his original creation, Sonichu, and was instead a completely original character. He also apologized for spreading lies about Alec, such as suggesting that he [[Mailbag 50|only responded to fan mail that puts him in a positive light]], and for the constant [[death threats]] against him. He also apologized for trying to commandeer [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]] character (though he tactfully avoided mentioning his blatant ripoff, [[Simonla]]).

However, Chris's real motivations quickly become obvious as he proceeded to beg Alec and Evan to help him take down the [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Advertisements|CWCipedia ads]], which had become increasingly homoerotic and insulting to Chris.

A few days later, Chris made [[I am Alive|another video]] fully apologizing for his threats towards the four, deciding to give up Simonla and delivering a half-assed Forgiveness Blessing to Mao, in the hope of finally removing the ads (which also included a [[parody]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] involving him and [[Snorlax|his mom]] and an obituary for Chris).

On 25 [[February 2010]], Chris released the last pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], in which he did kill off [[Simonla]]... but turned around and ''brutally executed'' the "Asperpedia Four."

[[Book10Replacement|A revised version]], inspired by Chris's [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]], replaced the death sentences with a lifetime placement among the Amish. Jackie insisted on a parade in honor of Alec and Asperchu<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 19]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 20]]</ref><ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> but Chris did not honor his promise.

==Phone calls==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary calls}}

{{quote|Encourage the fans that were originally my fans to come back to me.|Chris}}

On 9 [[February 2010]], [[Mao]] sent [[Evan]] and [[Sean]] a series of seven phone conversations between Alec Benson Leary and Chris. While these conversations were meant to stay between the [[Asperpedia]] staff, they were eventually leaked by Mao for the world to hear. An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|ninth]] phone call between Chris and Alec followed on 18 February and 25 February, respectively.

==Trial and execution of Asperpedia staff==

{{Quote|We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.|Chris, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}

Despite Alec attempting to help Chris out several times during the phone calls, Chris would involve Alec, along with Mao, Sean and Evan, in the penultimate pages of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. They are portrayed as stupid, murderous characters, who are tried by [[CWCville]]'s court for the murder of [[Simonla Rosechu]], as well as the theft and mockery of several citizens of CWCville. After a rather one-sided trial (in CWCville's favor, of course), Alec and co. are sentenced to death, Alec specifically in a "ten-button Electric chair". He is electrocuted to death by various characters that were "misrepresented" in ''Asperchu'', including Sonichu, who states that he is [[Homos|"not gay"]] as he jointly ends Alec's life. Chris himself also joins in on the fun, and ironically, and also hypocritically, states that Alec is a "d*** lunatic," after which he helps fry him to a crisp and breaks all of Mao's bones using telekinesis. Evan is horribly mutilated by [[Sandy Rosechu]] whilst chained to a wall, and Sean is used as target practice by [[Bill the Scientist]], [[Kel]] and [[Allison]].

During this brutality, Chris also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|apologized]] for some of his own wrongdoings towards the Asperchu Four, as well as his fans.

==''Sonichu Revolution''==
When the CWCipedia was taken down during the [[Simonchu]] dispute, it appeared Chris was not going to budge and would [[9_February_2010|possibly set up shop elsewhere]]. Considering Chris's laziness, how long that would take was anyone's guess. The possibility that no new comics would appear for days, weeks, or even months was likely, and this didn't take into account how often Chris's new digs would get hacked. Fortunately Alec, being the nice guy that he is, decided ''Sonichu'' fans should not be deprived of the promised reboot. He took it upon himself to not only deliver fans new pages through Chris's site, but to also take care of the looming copyright issues that Chris had been unwilling to tackle. All while still uploading new ''Asperchu'' comics.

Chris, of course, took this in entirely the wrong way. In the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth phone call]], he accused Alec of stealing his work and attempting to impersonate him. Also, while he expressed offense at the violence of some of the ''Sonichu Revolution'' strips, he showed no signs of grasping the way Alec's comic mocks the unoriginality, moral hypocrisy, sexual degeneracy, and generally warped outlook of Chris's original ''Sonichu'' stories.

===''Sonichu Revolution'' Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Sonichurevolution01.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution02.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution4.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution05.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution06.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution07.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution08.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution9.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution10.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution11.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution12.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution13.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==CWCipedia advertisements==
[[File:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|thumb|200px|The ad in question.]]
Shortly after 110mb returned from what may have been its billionth outage, a large ''Asperchu'' ad appeared at the top of every article, depicting [[Sonichu]] shooting Ian in the calves ([[Sonichu Special 4|sound familiar?]]) while calling him a "[[Honest Content|fat little son of a bitch]]". Chris claimed that he won't let the ad get to him, but as anyone who has heard a lulzcow claim this before knows, this implies that he could possibly be one good push away from an explosion. Either that, or he failed to grasp this ad like the [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]] ad parody.

[[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] came across this ad and, thinking it was one of the ''Sonichu'' comics, thought it was, as advertised, fucking awesome. Chris explained to her it was really a troll advertisement, which eventually lead to him showing her [[CWCki]] and her finding out what a lazy monster he is, ending the online correspondence. So even if it failed to provoke a response from Chris, it managed to perform some small service in [[The Miscreants|the larger scheme of things]].

[[File:AsperchuMarkDeux.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The (other) ad in question.]]

Eventually, the ad was taken down, although it was quickly replaced with another, smaller one featuring a callback to the scene of [[Evan]]'s cold-blooded torture from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Chris has yet to respond to this, most likely because he's too busy [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|bitching about not being unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]].

[[File:Sonichu0.jpg|thumb|200px|The (final) ad in question.]]

Yet another ad was put up a few days later, depicting Ian Brandon Anderson's final death. It was taken down relatively quickly and replaced with an Autism Awareness Month ad (featuring a mention of the hated [[Asperger's syndrome]], no less), so it isn't unreasonable to believe Chris may have missed this one entirely.

==Calling Out==
After attempting to ignore Alec for well over a year and a half, Chris suddenly turned around, revealing possible dox on Alec, revealing him to be a "Christopher", proclaims that he's a [[South Park|"fatty-fat-fat"]], makes donations to the [[GAMe PLACe]], and that he doesn't have Aspergers. Like [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]], he demands reparations - namely that he make a video apologizing for [[Chris and copyright|infringing on his Sonichu "copyright"]] then demands he [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]].

On August 30th, the day before Alec's deadline, [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|Chris revealed]] the true identity of Alec as 36-year old "Christopher Paul Whitney", of San Antonio, Texas. Shockingly, the true identity of Alec was shown to be [[Youtube]] sensation "Fat Man".

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Asperchu/Background]]: More about the comic itself.

==External links==
* [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia] - Asperchu's very own Wiki(No longer up)
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/Asperchu Asperpedia's YouTube channel]
* [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/archive/ Asperchu on thecomicseries]

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Asperchu Saga]]

Sonic the Hedgehog

2011-09-19T11:02:29Z

DicksOak: /* History */ Egregious. This word doesn't mean what you think it means!

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a shitty recolor of beloved [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. [[Sega]]'s blatant plagiarism has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris claims that Sonic has been his life hero since June [[1990]] [''sic'']<ref>''Sonic the Hedgehog'' wasn't released until June [[1991]] - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be ''[[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]]'' by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and ''Rad Mobile'' was a very less-known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>, replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'']], involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat [[Robotnik]], who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 9-1-1]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests (cf. [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]) to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|incoherently random daily cartoon]] and a [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon]] to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to ''Sonic'' is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by [[Wikipedia:Sonic Underground|something almost as godawful as ''Sonichu'']], and the [[Wikipedia:Sonic X|latest cartoon]] is dumb enough to suck, yet not enough to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by ''Sonic'' (and ''Pokémon'') like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about ''Sonic''-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about ''Sonic'' that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

Chris's loyalty was so strong that he was visibly upset when told by bullies that Sonic was dead.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 9|Jackie Chat #9]]</ref> This was an early example of trolls being able to find one of Chris's 'tard rage buttons.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue #1, never mentioned again until [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where [[Robbie]] sickeningly refers to him as "Uncle Sonic".

===Tails's lack of a role in the comics===
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since [[Wikipedia:Sonic The Hedgehog 2|''Sonic the Hedgehog II'']] was released in [[1992]] for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Master System|Sega Master System]]. He has been featured in almost every form of ''Sonic''-related media such as cartoons, anime, and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why neither he nor an idiot ripoff (likely named "Prowerlo Sonichu") has made an appearance in ''Sonichu''.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an [[Transformers|Autobot]] named "[[Prower]]". It is likely Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|thirteen-year-olds]] on [[GameFAQs|GameFAGs]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were a [[homos|gay]] couple. Christian said that "I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Comic Book Series]] from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend."<ref>[[Mailbag_21#Why no Tails?|Mailbag #21]]</ref> He later claims that he "did not feel it appropriate for Tails to be in my comic."<ref>[[Mailbag_38#Chris is an expert matchmaker|Mailbag #38]]</ref>

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]].

== Amy Rose ==
'''Amy Rose''' is a ''[[Sonic]]'' character created in [[1993]], making her first appearance in the game [[Wikipedia:Sonic CD|''Sonic CD'']]. She serves as the self-proclaimed love interest of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. In fleshing out the world of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] quickly ripped off the character to serve as Sonichu's girlfriend, [[Rosechu]].

[[Image:Chrischan_traced.jpg|thumb|Yep, definitely different.]]

While Sonichu is essentially a recolor of Sonic the Hedgehog with a Pikachu tail shoved up his ass, Chris couldn't even be bothered to employ that tiny amount of creativity in creating Rosechu. Like Amy Rose, Rosechu has green eyes and pink fur, with the spines on her head arranged to resemble a bob haircut. Both wear red boots and dresses, with Rosechu's having a blue trim in a slightly different pattern to Amy's white trim. Visually, the only obvious distinction between the two is the [[Raichu]] tail Rosechu has, and the spines on the center of Amy's forehead, which Rosechu lacks. It should be noted, however, that when Chris draws Amy, he [[Chris and art|fails]] to draw the forehead spines properly.

{{quote|MAJOR Differences between Amy and Rosie; Amy never had spikes on her back, the clothes are Different; Rosie’s Headband is White, not Red, and Rosechu has a modern girl kinda attitude, and lucky for her, Sonichu RARELY runs away from her charms. And, of course, she has her Electric-Type Attacks to boot.|Christian Weston Chandler, damning himself with [[The Sonichu Chronicles|faint praise]].}}

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose2.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Even Chris is bored with this sexist gabfest.]]

As Christian points out, the only real difference between Amy and Rosechu in terms of characterization is that while Amy's crush on Sonic is not reciprocated, Sonichu has been sucking face with Rosechu since the [[Sonichu 0|day they met]]. Obviously, this hardly marks a difference in their ''personality''. If anything, it says more about the differences between Sonic and Sonichu, since they respond differently to affection. Since she's already made her romantic conquest, Rosechu is free to pursue the life of a "modern girl", which apparently means [[Sonichu 8|face-raping people]] and producing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|amateur pornography]]. It should also be noted that unlike Rosechu, Amy at least does have some notable moments within the Sonic series, such as single-handedly defeating the ZERO robot in ''Sonic Adventure'' and breaking into a military base to free a captured Sonic in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', whilst Rosechu's defining moments are considered facerape, sucking Sonichu's [[pickle]], and [[Women's rights|getting captured]] at every given opportunity.

[[Image: Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Sheesh, they even think the same words.]]

As an epilogue to the Sonichu/Sonic team-up in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], Rosechu happens to meet Amy in [[CWCville Mall]]. With no hint of irony, the two remark upon how similar they are, and engage in a [[Women's Rights|vapid conversation about shopping and relationships]].

== Shadow the Hedgehog ==
Introduced in [[2001]]'s [[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|''Sonic Adventure 2'']], '''Shadow the Hedgehog''' is an anti-hero version of Sonic the Hedgehog. Quickly becoming a fan favorite among the ''Sonic'' family of characters, it was only a matter of time before [[Chris]] decided to "create" another [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]...

Unlike [[Rosechu]], who is virtually identical to [[Amy Rose]] in every relevant respect, [[Black Sonichu]] (Blake) only resembles Shadow in his color scheme and tenuous allegiance to the forces of evil. While Shadow is primarily motivated by his desire to learn about his mysterious past, Black Sonichu was informed of every aspect of his creation by [[Naitsirhc]]. Most notably, while Shadow is supposed to be a dark and edgy character, Black Sonichu is basically just a punk, committing blatant mischief for very transparent motives.

While this might seem to make Black Sonichu halfway original, it really only means that he's a poor copy of [[Sonichu]] instead of a slightly less poor copy of Shadow. Blake's only real claim to individuality was that he acted like an asshole; since falling for [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he doesn't even have that going for him.

Shadow makes one appearance in the ''Sonichu'' canon when he shows up as a drummer for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]], but is later replaced by [[Punchy Sonichu]].

==Comics==
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|More likely than not a bigger inspiration than the games series itself. At its lowest points, it rivaled Sonichu in all but art.]]

Like with the cartoons, ''Sonic'' had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a series of crazy manga involving Sonic being some sort of alter-ego of a picked on misunderstood nerd ([[Chris-Chan Sonichu|bizarre coincidence?]]), Europe got a clichéd comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published ''2000 A.D.'') that appealed to the gaming demographic of the [[1990s]], that was more or less the glorified [[SEGA]] advertisement for the continent, and the U.S. got a comic book series based on the Saturday morning cartoon ''Sonic SATam''. Despite the video game franchise more or less crashing and burning, the comic series is still alive and running to this day, although it's unclear if that's due to popularity or just a small, dedicated fan basis of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|creepy furries]] and SEGA's endorsement to squeeze every penny they can from this dying franchise.

The majority of Chris's inspiration from the comics seem to come from the work of Ken Penders, who is also an egotistical jerk who tries to claim copyright on the [[Punchy Sonichu|Knuckles recolors]] he made during his run on the comics. Since 2006, however, Ken was fired and replaced by someone who actually knows how to write a children's comic. Sadly this is not the case with Sonichu.

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with this comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie ''Sonic'' covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_comic_book_characters#Evil_Sonic.2FScourge_the_Hedgehog|Scourge the Hedgehog]], an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic, "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles", for the basis of some of his fight scenes, and one of the early shorts, entitled "Sonichu 25 Years Later," takes its name from a 2004 arc called "Mobius 25 Years Later." Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like ''Sonichu'' to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat #6]]</ref> If Chris still reads it, it will probably be a source of plagiarism and mass-debating for years to come.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie ''Sonic'' comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%.]]

==Plagiarism==
Main article: [[Ripped_off#Sonic_the_Hedgehog]]

To put it bluntly, Sonichu is a copyright infringement. He tries to work around this fact by claiming that Sonichu is a [[parody]] of Sonic the Hedgehog but Sonichu does not really derive humour or provide commentary on the original franchise. For exact details as to what is ripped off, see the main article.

==Sega's response==
[[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of ''Sonichu''.]]
After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on ''Sonichu''.

While Sega would probably do nothing while Sonichu is just an obscure online fan-fiction/webcomic because Sega does tolerate equally bad abominations (Furry Bomb for example) created from their Sonic franchise and suing a [[slow in the mind|somewhat retarded]] fan would bring them bad publicity but if Chris ever did get his comic professionally published (spoiler: [[chris and the industry|he wont]]) he would likely be sued.

==Sonic's reaction to Chris Chan==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|WxXwYHeNat0}}
</center>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 28.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with twenty years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.
Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg|[[6 June 2010|Yep,]] [[Don't Mess With Me|that]] [[Sonichu 10|most]] [[Autism Tutorial Extra|certainly ]][[Death threats|taught]] [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|him.]]
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own [[Jimmy Hill|unlicensed ''Sonic'' merchandise]].
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.
Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Doctor Robotnik]]
* [[Chris and copyright]]

==Sauces/notes==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Sonic the Hedgehog]] on [[Wikipedia]]

{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

[[Category: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2011-09-10T18:48:14Z

DicksOak: Updated due to Bob's recent death.

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For all other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For Chandler's view on Christianty, see [[Chris and Religion]].''

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan Chris Tran Ricardo Weston Chandler CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie_Chat_6|Chunky Monkey Man]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982-2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Approximately [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

{{-}}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right, Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult adventures===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

On [[November 2010]], around the same time another saga involving an [[Jackie|online sweetheart]] ended in romantic failure, Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video on YouTube]] in which he announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel.

However, his internet activity had not completely ceased and ever since he retired from YouTube Chris has released [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|several]] [[Autism Tutorial|new]] [[LBP|Little Big Planet]] levels, uploaded [[3DS Flipnote|two]] [[Hippo Flipnote|Flipnotes]], secretly frequented the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forums for a couple of weeks on [[May 2011|May]]-[[June 2011]] and apparently even had a new [[facebook]] for a brief time during [[July 2011|July]].

Chris continues to live with his mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only sources of income. Since Barb is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account. Whatever fate awaits Chris after Barb dies and there is no one to look after him remains to be seen.

Chris later returned, in August 2011, with a series of [[Calling Out|New Videos]] in which he calls out various trolls, such as [[Surfshack Tito]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[BlueSpike]], and [[Thorg]].
===Life as a Tomgirl===

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life after his YouTube retirement is his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. This adoption of a new wardrobe was first revealed to the net on 29 [[April 2011]] when a [[Tomgirl Pictures|batch of pictures]] featuring Chris in drag was leaked.

Further light was shed on this issue when Chris’s posts in [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] were discovered on 20 [[July 2011]]. Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or Tomgirl as he calls it) and an unabashed one too; not only did he came out as a Tomgirl to his parents (who both strongly disapproved),<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&p=160#p160]</ref> he also dressed and behaved as a female in public, going as far as to use women’s bathrooms instead of men’s.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref> Such antics are not likely to endear him to many people in socially conservative Virginia.

Chris does not see his Tomgirl identity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality and has gone to assert his straightness in his very first post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2&p=157#p157]</ref> His love quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWCville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Chris and video games

2011-09-10T12:12:30Z

DicksOak: /* Chris's game collection */

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{#ev:youtube|fidi0WgSCo8}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

[[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris almost definitely centers his life around and spends more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Internet]] and have [[sex]] with him. He [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he'll admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. Reality isn't so simple, which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==

Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a Commodore 64 home computer. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to the [[Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly 700 different game titles across 19 different platforms. (He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the Gamefly mail-order rental service until August 2010.

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings up the rear. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for — there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video game related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available — what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around — Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in Brutal Legend was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer's]] other [[Random-access humor|quirky, offbeat]] games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[Random-access humor]] of such games, more likely, they were too intelligent for him, and not mainstream enough. More likely, his interest in Brutal Legend was due to Jack Black providing the main character's voice, and possibly [[Chris and Music|Chris's failed attempts to appear to an enjoyer of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely common or extremely shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Sewer Shark'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

He never seems to show interest in high-profile games like ''Super Mario Galaxy 2'' or ''Metroid: Other M'', and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (like ''Metroid Prime'', ''The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time'' and ''Super Mario World'') are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks. He also owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. Games like ''Call of Duty'' or ''Grand Theft Auto'', examples of "hardcore" games aimed at adults are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (Such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the Hannah Montana PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he's taken to playing games he wouldn't normally were he doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile [[Hex Box]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Video_games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the Gamecube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. It is unknown at which point Chris defected to Sony, nor the reasons for doing so. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

In typical fashion, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he seems to shown interest in, [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and though there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claims that it's the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger's syndrome]].

===Chris the trophy whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off in his PlayStation Network profile. He's doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network, but he doesn't seem to spend too much of his time actively following more dedicated gaming websites or message boards. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Grind Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"). He could easily check and see that this is not true, but possibly he hasn't tried putting his LBP copy into his Wii yet because the [[Jerkops|cops]] would stop him.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, holographs of the kind we can only see in science fiction right now.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[Club Nintendo]] - With details on Chris's Wii download collection
* [[List of Chris's games]] - Marvel at the massive waste of taxpayer dollars
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]] - Speaking of taxpayer dollars...
* ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' - The game that ate November 2008, Chris's favorite title of the last few years
* [[PS3]] - Chris's "life upgrade" and current console of choice

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

It took a talking bear to give the name a young boy loves

2011-09-08T12:08:16Z

DicksOak: /* Text of the article */

'''"IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES"''' is the title of an article that appeared in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' on 29 December [[1993]] that provides an independent account of how [[Chris]] [[Christopher's name change|changed his name]].<ref>[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT&date=Dec+29%2C+1993&author=Barbara+Green&pub=Richmond+Times+-+Dispatch&edition=&startpage=N-4&desc=IT+TOOK+A+TALKING+BEAR+TO+GIVE+THE+NAME+A+YOUNG+BOY+LOVES ProQuest Archive of original Richmond Times-Dispatch article] (''links to an abstract of the article; full article requires subscription'')</ref>

== Text of the article ==

{{quotenews|This is a Christmas-season story about how a bear gave a boy his name.

The bear is [[Leonard Bearstein]], leader of the all-bear pops orchestra that entertains shoppers at Regency Square during the holidays.

The boy is Christopher Weston Chandler, 11, now called Christian. He met Leonard Bearstein during Christmas [[1992]].

The boy's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert F. Chandler Jr.]], told the story.

"We were in [[Richmond]] on a visit last Christmas with our son Christopher, then almost 11," Chandler said. "We lived in [[Ruckersville]], about 10 miles north of [[Charlottesville]], at the time.

"And, as many people from west of Richmond do, we made one of our stops at Regency Square."

Christopher is a high-functioning [[autistic]] child. While intellectually his age level is 12 or 13, socially he is around age 7 or 8. He has some [[Megan|behavior problems with his peers]] and relates better with children a few years younger than him, his father said.

Christopher didn't talk until he was 7 years old. But thanks to his parents' hard work, he talks a [[sonic|blue streak]] now.

And while visiting Regency Square during Christmas 1992, he struck up a conversation with Leonard Bearstein.

"Since this was early in the Christmas season on a Thursday afternoon, the crowd was light," Chandler said. "The conversation between Leonard and Christopher lasted -- on and off, between songs -- about an hour. Christopher was spellbound."

Something unusual happened during that conversation. When Leonard Bearstein, in a decidedly British accent, asked Christopher his name, the bear must have misunderstood what the boy replied.

"Leonard started calling our son Christian. What better name for the Christmas season?

"And the name stuck like glue. From that time on, for the past year, his name has been Christian Weston Chandler. Christian is very emphatic about that."

Good things have happened since Leonard Bearstein changed Christopher's name to Christian more than a year ago.

In September, father and son moved to Chesterfield County. Chandler and his wife, [[Barbara]], lived there when they married in [[1980]], before General Electric Co. transferred him to the Charlottesville area.

Mr. Chandler is retired now and looks after Christian during the week.

Mrs. Chandler works for Virginia Power in Charlottesville and commutes here from Ruckersville, in Greene County, on weekends.

"The Greene County School system was not equipped to teach an autistic child," Mr. Chandler said. "The Chesterfield County school system has accepted him with open arms."

Christian is in sixth grade at Providence Middle School.

This fall, on his own initiative, Christian entered a contest based on a favorite TV cartoon character. He was a winner in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|"Sonic the Hedgehog Watch and Win Sweepstakes."]] His prize: a $1,000 shopping spree at Kay-Bee Toys after the first of the year.

And the Chandlers have started the process of legally changing his name.

As it happens, Mr. Chandler said he wanted to name his son Christian when the boy was born. As a sing-along leader at Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip in the late 1970s, he was familiar with the name among fellow Anglophiles and English friends.

"I was chicken," he said. "It took Leonard the bear to name him Christian.

"Although we live in Chesterfield, closer to Cloverleaf Mall and Chesterfield Towne Center," Mr. Chandler added, [[Christopher's name change|"a bear at Regency Square named my son."]]
}}

==References==

<references />

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Christopher's name change

2011-09-08T11:55:44Z

DicksOak: /* Leonard Bearstein */

[[Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Godbear|I am Godbear Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. No longer will you be called Christopher; your name will be Christian, for I have made you a father of [[CWCville|many nations]].]]

At age ten, Christopher Weston Chandler '''changed his name''' to [[Christian Weston Chandler]] as a result of events in December [[1992]]. His name was legally changed the following year. Given the significance Chris ascribes to his identity and his name, it's no wonder that he continues to consider this to be one of the most significant events of his life.

==Leonard Bearstein==

Chris credits his name change to "Leonard Bearstein," an animatronic bear in a musical program presented at shopping malls and other venues. The Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra ([[wikipedia:Leonard Bernstein|I see what you did there]]) is still in operation to this day, running shows in North Carolina, Virginia, and elsewhere during the Christmas season. The Leonard character is designed to be fully interactive and engage in conversations with the audience via a human operator behind the scenes.<ref>[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]</ref><ref>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leonard-Bearstein/205357189065 Leonard Bearstein has a Facebook FFS]</ref> During a shopping trip to [[Richmond]] in 1992, the Chandler family encountered the Bearstein show at Regency Square Shopping Mall. Chris was evidently fascinated by the spectacle, and due to the light turnout that day, he received considerable attention from the interactive bear. The performer operating Leonard asked Chris his name, and misheard "Christopher" as "Christian." Chris and his family seem to attribute this error to the Leonard's English accent, rather than the fact that a [[speech impediment|mumbling retard]] was talking to a man over a microphone built into a robot bear.<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> For reasons understood only by him, Chris adopted the new name and insisted upon being called by it.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992|Wikipedia autobiography]]</ref>

[[1993|On 29 December 1993]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' ran [[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|a fluff piece]] on the incident. The story drew a connection between Chris's experience with the bear and his successes in finding an [[autism]]-friendly school and winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]], and reported the family's decision to begin the legal process to rename him. It also quoted Chris's father [[Bob]] as admitting that he had wanted to name his son "Christian" to begin with, but had pussied out (although what he was afraid of remains unclear).<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES|Richmond Times-Dispatch article]]</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Christopher|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]], 52:22</ref>

==Significance today==
[[Image:Crystal.jpg|thumb|right|Who the hell is Christopher?]]
As even a cursory examination will reveal, Chris is fixated on his own name and events from his childhood. Thus an event which resulted in him having ''two'' names to obsess over is of supreme importance to him, even after almost twenty years. However, Chris routinely glosses over key details in the story--at times he will simply refer to "Christopher" or discuss being renamed by "a conducting Bear" as if no further context is required.<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]</ref> For example, the [[troll|trolls']] first real insight into the event comes from this brief note in Chris's [[DVD]] slideshow:

{{quote|Before moving from Ruckersville to Richmond, in December of [[1989]], my family and I were watching the Regency Square Bear Band perform. When the Conductor asked me my name, I told him "Christopher", but apparently he was english, since he misunderstood me and called me "Christian". The name change settled in. Originally when I was born my father wanted to name me Christian, but he chickened out and named me Christopher.|Chris's note in his DVD Slideshow<ref>[[DVD Slideshow Transcripts]]</ref>}}

As seen here, even at age 25 Chris saw no need to explain why he would change his name at the behest of a total stranger, ursine or otherwise.

Chris's fixation on his identity came to the fore during the [[Liquid Saga]], when he was confronted with an impostor of himself. In his struggle to affirm his uniqueness in the universe, Chris reluctantly conceded that Liquid might truly share the name "Christian Weston Chandler," but clung to the idea that he and he alone was ''born'' Christopher Weston Chandler and later ''became'' Christian Weston Chandler. (This of course missed the point that [[Liquid|CChanSonichuCWC]] was not merely taking credit for Chris's accomplishments but was claiming to ''be'' the true and honest Christian, name change and all.) This became a recurring theme in Chris's videos at the time, as he would repeatedly cite his name change as something that the impostor could not possibly claim as his own.

Since Liquid and others were constantly accusing Chris of being an impostor named "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]", Chris frequently asserted the authenticity of his name. However, the name change clouds the matter, and Chris could not even use a phrase like "my God-given name" without qualifiers:

{{quote|Call me by the real name that [[God]] and the bear has given me throughout my whole life.|Chris makes no sense, 6 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref>}}

Along with Chris's tendency to refer to [[God and Jesus]] in the same breath (or even [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|the same word]]), this quote gave rise to the troll meme that Leonard Bernstein is an avatar of GodJesus, or perhaps GodBear.

==Christopher as a separate personality==

[[Image:Recent Activity.jpg|thumb|250px|"Christopher" in action]]

That Chris's preadolescence has a name unto itself seems to encourage Chris to treat "Christopher" as a former life. In his [[KCWC]] dedication special, Christian dedicated a song to Christopher and explained the distinction:

{{quote|Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the one that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me in [[heterochromia|my one blue eye]]. And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him.|Chris, 12 [[August 2009]]<ref>[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 4: #6 and #5]]</ref>}}

Shortly thereafter, Chris briefly tried to imply that Christian and Christopher were [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], going as far as faving [[gay]] [[pedophile]] [[anime]] videos on [[YouTube]] in the name of "Christopher"{{cite}}. However, he quickly abandoned the act, and later admitted that he made the whole thing up.<ref>[[Mailbag 4]]</ref>

Despite Chris's assertion that Christopher lives on in him, it would appear Christopher's spirit haunts the grounds at [[14 Branchland Court]], judging by the account of ace field agent [[JenkinsJinkies]]:

{{squote|I went over to [[Chris's house]] with a flashlight that Night. I'm trekking through the daylilly garden aisles, searching for more bad I can do about the house. When suddenly, I hears a voice, "Hello". I look around and see nobody. I am Terrified. Then suddenly, I am fucking paralyzed; my ankles and wrists are pulled to my left and right, feeling like there were other people's hands holding them down on a floor, and I feel a pair of hands on my Neck too;
strangling me, yet I can still breathe. Then the voice comes back, "Hello, Mr. [[Troll]]." It is the voice of a child, about 8 years old. I struggle to look around, yet I see nobody. I'm fuckin' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shittin' my pants here]]. The voice continues, "Do not be afraid of me, like the teachers of the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Elementary School]] were; they did not understand me and [[Autism|my mind]]. I want you to understand my mind..." Right after, I see a lot of strange images going through my mind. Including the images of an [[abusive babysitter]] called "Roache" locking me alone in a static room; a therapy session at [[James Madison University]]; the teachers, guidance counsoler and principal of Nathanel Greene Elementary School holding me down and taping my screams and more. I tried to scream, but Nothing came out; it was a Scream of Silence; I could not even utter a WORD in Normal Voice; Only Silence. [...] I have encountered the Spirits of Young Christopher Weston Chandler and [[Patti]], protecting the Chandler Household. I warn you all right here and now, Stay Away from his house, and Patti's Grave.|Jenkins reports on the Chandler household, 27 July 2010<ref>[http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=1068&highlight=#1068]</ref>}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|From the [[scrapbook]]
Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|From the [[DVD]]
Image:BearsteinbyChris.jpg|Bearstein performance in the Regency Sq. Mall
Image:Godbear.jpg|A challenger appeared, beware Raptor Jesus
Image:Bearsteinofficial.jpg
Image:Leonard Bernstein.jpg|[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|No relation]]
Image:Angrybear.png
Image:GODBEARStrip.png|The TRUE and HONEST event. (Artist's Impression)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Ricardo Weston Chandler]]
*[[Carlos Chantor]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.leonardbearstein.com/ Leonard Bearstein's website]
*[http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/timesdispatch/access/615847621.html?dids=615847621:615847621&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT Richmond Times - Dispatch article, 29 December 1993]
*[http://www.regencysquaremall.com/ Regency Square Mall site]

[[Category:Events]]

Retroactive continuity in Sonichu

2011-09-07T09:04:49Z

DicksOak:

[[Image:RainbowChrisBeforeAfter.jpg|right|thumb|300px|[[Love Quest|It]] looks just as [[Homos|gay]] as it did before, except more [[Autism|retarded]]. Chris suddenly becomes [[obesity|skinnier]], gets [[anime]]-style eyes, and develops an obvious [[duck|crotch bulge]]. It's also quite funny to note that Chris saying his "love quest is over" while in heaven implies that he died and can not continue his quest while dead.]]
[[Chris]], thinking himself to be clever and believing he can change things without other people noticing, has '''[[Wikipedia:Retroactive continuity|retconned]]''' much of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu canon]].

==Background==
In the case of names, Chris changed them on the advice of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Jay Z]] who told Chris that they can't make a game with the names of real people. Despite finding out that they were [[trolls]], Chris has kept the name changes "just in case" Nintendo or Sega decides to pick up the game.

Some changes are a result of troll attacks, others comes from Chris's [[homos|homophobia]] and attempts to make himself appear as a [[Racism|tolerant]] and [[Pedofork|law abiding]] person. Black Sonichu became [[Blake]] after Chris was accused of being a racist. More notably, the iconic [[Sonichu Balls]] which play a major role in the latter comics have become Sonichu ''Crystals'' after [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] and trolls pointed out that it's pretty gay for him to want to get as many BALLS as he can to FREE him. Likewise, the infamous "Rainbow Chris" image from [[Sonichu_1#Sub-Episode_2:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22The_Rise_.26_Fall_of_My_Heart.22|Sub-Episode 2]] was changed to a background of the gates of Heaven when pointed out that [[rainbow]]s are the international symbol of gay pride.

Another, far more minor, retcon that Chris has done, is the updating of the [[Rosechu]]s' [[Rule 34|"feminine physique"]]. In several places, most notably in [[Sonichu 8]], many of the female characters have had their boobies and [[china]] more prominently outlined. This is probably a desperate attempt made by Chris to STAY STRAIGHT in the face of all those [[Gay4Sonichu|homosexual college professors]] using his [[Sonichu]] to support gay pride.

Chris has also altered the storyline in several places, such as the birth of Sonichu (explaining that they have aged in real time in the comics, due to criticisms that 16 year old [[Sonichu]] was having sex with a 15 year old Rosechu) and later adding that Sonichu and Rosechu got married, which would have justified their sex in Sonichu 8 (though Chris still fails to account that Rosechu would have been 17 when the two would have been married, which would still be statutory rape under [[wikipedia:Ages of_consent in North_America#Virginia|Virginia law]]). Pressed to make peace with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], Chris on [[CWCipedia]] wrote a new story about how Slaweel and Mary Lee Walsh are two separate people which defeats the purpose of needing a separate name for a separate Mary Lee Walsh. However, in the [[Videobooks]], Chris accidentally used the name "Mary Lee Walsh" on several occasions before quickly correcting himself with "Slaweel Ryam".

Chris has also changed [[Sonichu 5#Alternate versions|the ending to Sonichu 5, episode 13]], where the original shows him and [[Megan]] hugging on page 50 followed by a disclaimer at the bottom of page 51 where Rosechu "sets the record straight" by making it clear that the hug "didn't happen for real". Likely due to Megan telling Chris to back off, page 50 was replaced with a closeup of [[Sailor Megtune]]'s face where she whines about how bad she feels for Chris and Rosechu's speech was changed to simply a white box with the words "to be continued...". Interestingly, the version of the comics Chris has posted to [[CWCipedia]] reflects the original, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_51 with both the hug and Rosechu's disclaimer intact], whereas the [[Sonichu 5 Official Videobook#Episode 13|videobook version of episode 13]] is the alternate one, with the grotesque closeup of Sailor Megtune's face and the edited page 51. In [[Quizzes#Sonichu Quiz 2|MyBuzz quizzes]], Chris flat out points out that there is a difference between the "director's cut" and the other version.

Aside from retconning his own work, Chris also frequently attempts to "improve" the work of others. This mostly manifests itself in renaming of characters: [[Megan]]'s character [[Megagi]] was originally called [[semen|"Spunky]] Skunk", [[Ivy]]'s [[Layla Flaaffy]] was originally called "Luckett", etc. In the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]] Chris takes things in another direction by trying to "fix" a [[troll|fan's]] vastly superior artwork by redrawing it and making extremely minor changes. The most blatant moment, however, is in [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris tries to rewrite the world of [[Asperchu]] to be substantially more one-dimensional and boring. This stems from his [[autistic|retarded]] belief that cartoon characters are real (as in, [[Chris and Reality|they literally exist on another plane of existence and the events in the comics have actual consequences]]) and he believes that he needs to "fix" his characters, lest the comics drawn by others somehow change them.

Chris has also attempted to retcon the actual events of his life, whenever convenient. While it's likely that many of the stories Chris tells of himself are fabrications or exaggerations, there is little evidence to support either theory. What can be proven, though, is Chris's alterations to his [[CWCipedia]] article for [[Simonla]], which originally stated (correctly) that the character was a derivative of [[Evan]]'s character, Simonchu. After Evan started to take legal action against Chris for his [[Chris and Copyright|misappropriation of the character]], Chris simply edited the page to claim otherwise. He claimed that, in fact, Simonla was ''not'' based on Simonchu, and their myriad of similarities was entirely coincidental. He had simply credited Evan for the character because he was [[autistic|confused]].

In order to not appear as a [[Pedofork]] for drawing Rule 34 involving the [[Chaotic Combo]] and [[Silvana]], Chris retconned the birthdates by stating that the eggs traveled in time to 1989.<ref>The [[CWCipedia]]</ref>
[[File:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right| "I'm not a pedofork you dorks!"]]

Chris has also attempted to retcon the name origin of Sonichu as seen in [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], where he states that Sonichu's name is NOT a portmanteau of Sonic and Pikachu like it has been "rumored", but rather a play on Sonic's "Japanese" name "Soniku"''[sic]''.

==Name changes==
The follow is a comprehensive list of name changes:

<center>
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Before
!align="left"|After
|-
|[[Bagget]]
|Dagget
|-
|Black Sonichu/Blachu
|[[Blake]]
|-
|[[CADD Chef]]
|Keneru-Meneth -CADD Chef-
|-
|[[Hanna]]
|Fandanna
|-
|[[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]]
|"Joe Cool" Smithey
|-
|[[Joseph Herring]]
|Joe Herr
|-
|[[Megan]]
|Meg-chan
|-
|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
|Slaweel Ryam, Slaweel the Witch
|-
|[[Merried Seinor Comic]]/Kirby
|Merried Seinor Comic
|-
|[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]
|[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCCitizens]]
|-
|[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
|<s>Prowldent Virginia Community College</s> Percham Virginia Community College
|-
|[[Sarah Hammer]]
|Nicole Rammer
|-
|[[Sonichu Balls]]
|<s>Sonichu Crystals</s>, <s>Sonichu Ball Crystals</s>, Chaotic Crystals
|-
|[[wikipedia:Trojan Condoms|Trojan]]
|Jimmy
|-
|[[Wes Iseli]]
|Walter Grisby
|}
</center>

==Gallery of Retcons==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|Apparently, the evil [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|Mary Lee Walsh]] was Slaweel all along!
Image:Schu1SubEp2 FandannaRetcon.JPG|Not only does Chris's edit have the name stretch into the black section of the monitor, but he's also forgotten to change [[Hanna]]'s name in another paragraph.
Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|The infamous "Sailor Asscheeks"; [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 50
Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|Revised page 50.
Image:Sonichu-6_notsow.jpg|''Sonichu'' #5, page 30: NOTSOW
Image:SchuComic7Page30.jpg|NOTSEW
Image:Schu7_Pg1_MeganEdit.JPG|Chris changes [[Megan]] to Meg-chan, [[Chris and English#Spelling|but doesn't take the opportunity to correct "Dood" to "Good".]]
Image:Schu7 Pg3 MeganMLWEdit.JPG|Does he really think that 'Slaweel Ryam' and 'Meg-chan' are going to fool anyone?
Image:Chris-Straw-Retcon.JPG|The infamous [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] as later appeared on the [[CWCipedia]]. It looks just as stupid, only slightly smaller. Somehow it looks even more like he's sucking a dick than before.
Image:Schu7P23-JosephRetcon.JPG|[[Joseph Herring|Friends]] and [[Cole Smithey|family]] also get their names changed.
Image:ZEMTITS.jpg|HE LOVES BOOBIES TOO
Image:Schu8P5-A CameraRetcon.JPG|Rosechu, [[fail]]ing to look even remotely sexy with that [[Autism|retarded]] expression, gets edited out of a camera picture.
Image:Schu7Page37 NameEdits.JPG|See if you can spot the differences.
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

== Links ==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/ An archive with the non-retconned Sonichu comics (Scroll to the bottom)]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Comic]]

Talk:Response to ADF

2011-08-30T21:02:19Z

DicksOak: /* Free Bird */ new section

I have to get ready for work but this needs to be more wikified, plus the intro paragraph seems to be kinda clunky, any chance it could be split up into a few separate paragraphs?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 29 August 2011 (PDT)
: I'll trim it a little bit, it does seem pretty clunky. --[[User:Groggers|Groggers]] 01:28, 30 August 2011 (PDT)

== "That bit in the bible where lesbians are specifically condemned" ==

Actually, Leviticus only condemns male homosexuality. Lesbians are... conspicuously never mentioned, to my knowledge. Maybe so the Old Testament wouldn't give women ideas. :p - [[User:LucidFox|LucidFox]] 20:48, 29 August 2011 (PDT)

* Leviticus, yes, but that's not the only part where homosexuality is condemned in the bible. Read [http://kingjbible.com/romans/1.htm Romans 1:26-27] "''For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.''" Vague, yes, it could be talking about anal sex or fisting for all we know but it's generally interpreted as the only text where lesbians are specifically condemned. - [[User:InvalidLogin|InvalidLogin]] 21:12, 29 August 2011 (PDT)
::*cool - [[I Love Little Girls]] 22:49, 29 August 2011 (PDT)

== Free Bird ==

Don't know if it's worth mentioning, but there are other Skynyrd songs on other Guitar Hero games.

As Chris just downloads ALL the shit though, he's probably never played them, and only the popular "Free Bird." (When we all know Tuesday's Gone is a better song.)

Calling Out

2011-08-29T18:04:19Z

DicksOak: /* Response to ADF */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-23 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience. The series focuses on Chris's efforts to expose his various trolls. Each confrontation consists of Chris decrying various traits of his trolls (Thorg's atheism, Jack Thaddeus's sexual interests, etc.) followed by demands for apologies and other blackmail. Oblivious as always, Chris makes the videos while failing to realize that the obese horrific "tomgirl" delivering the messages overshadows the message. Instead, Chris just exposes people's personal information and expects the Internet to do the work for him of tormenting his foes.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my life, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

I win.

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Green tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup-another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek gender reassignment surgery, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}, {{Redbra|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called trannies, esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].
[[File:Spanking2.jpg|thumb|"I like to get smacked by my woman."]]
And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into [[April 16 Fetish Vids|femdom]], which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Ivy|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown [[Homos|gay]]. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... homoseshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, as they ha' been recently. I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|on]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2|the]] [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|phone]], and uh, [[Chris humps his PS3|blackmailed me into]] [[It's UGH!|doin' a few things]]. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[slaps his ass]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

== Re-Calling Ahuvia ==

On 23 August 2011, Chris made another video calling out Jack Thaddeus once more. As the time ticks down, Chris reveals more information about him, including the fact that he was a communist, which Chris hates (probably because of [[Bob]]). He further proves his ignorance by conflating communism and [[CWCville|Nazism]], even though the two are, economically speaking, polar opposites. Like his previous Jack Thaddeus video, it was removed for hate speech.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuvia
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ofdre0Ima1A}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Homos|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Sigh|*Sigh*]] Hello again, thee Internet. I have heard d- have not seen any response from Mr. Jack Thaddeus, as also he's known as Ahuviya. So therefore, I will reveal a little bit more information about him, starting with another portion of the photograph. ''[Camera pans shakily to the TV screen. It takes a moment to come into focus, revealing the upper left portion of a face, and then jerks back to Chris.]''

And, uh- let's see, what else do I have here on de stanssss... ''[Chris seems to read from something in his hands offscreen]'' He was definitely responsible for hacking my- hacking da network accounts. Probably had a ''hand'' in that blackout a few months ago. ''[A brief pause while Chris looks at his notes again]'' And, uh, he blackmailed me into humping... my c-console. And, uh, pa- he pasted the disgusting ads on da Cwcipedia... as well ''[Slurring and hissing]'' asss otherss trollin' schemess within the past couple of years. Uh, let's see...

''[Looks down again]'' Hmm...

Oh yes! ''[Looks back at camera, raises voice in a faux dramatic fashion]'' He is a communist! And we do not like communists within dis country! ''[Waves his right hand about, pointing upwards while glancing to his left]'' [[United_States_of_America#Politics|We are Republican, Democrat or neutral]]... And I am neutral, so [[Homo|I can go either way]], but I do not exactly care much for ''[Raises voice and waves finger emphatically]'' COMMUNISM! [[CWCville|We do not like to stand under one ruler.]] It is very unruly and... sssssssstupid! ''[Pauses and stares]''

''[Chris begins to sing a half-assed rendition of "[[Donald Duck|Der Fuehrer's Face]]"<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MReV9dkAVhY]</ref> [[CWCville|I will give a heil!]] ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' ''[In a sing-songy manner]'' Right in der Führer's face. Da da doo doo doo doo doo d'loo da doo doo doo da da ''[Chris and camera both bob enthusiastically with the tune]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Heil! ''[raspberry]'' Right in der Führer's face. ''[With his song finished, Chris settles the camera]''

Oh, yes, he is also a big fan of, uh- bonding... bondage, ssssadoism, machotism and disciplinary fetishisesss. And he is in the process of a sssexual change. He is going to have his... ''[Pauses, looks uncomfortable]'' [[pickle|weiner]] chopped off. I would ne'er do that, which I believe I have mentioned earlier; that is the one thing in being a tranny that I disagree on with him... And he's definitely never gonna be a female truly in that sense, in female ''[loudly and deeply]'' dominance. He has to get a real woman to come in in order to do that. ''[Pauses again to look at his notes]''

He still lives in Pennsylvania. Still a [[homo]]. ''[With a dramatic voice like an announcer at a boxing match]'' Twennnty five years old! ''[Attempting to sing the name operatically]'' Ahuviyaaaaa.

Stay tuned.

==Response to ADF==
Chris's response to Ahuvia. He starts out by saying he is heterosexual and happy as such, but he also likes lesbians because he gets along with women better. Chris says he's ok with homosexuals getting married: "marriage should be between two happy people regardless of gender." He thinks smoking is stupid. He has empathy; Ahuvia does not because Chris would go out of state if he had to and he could get a job. He believes that he can't get a job because of background checks not only showing criminal records, but showing the CWCki, Youtube videos, and Facebook which has "slanderous smut and shit" about him on it too. His parents being old and his father being a "forced shut-in" because of his feet swelling also prevents him from being able to get a job. Chris doesn't stay in his house all the time, he gets out. Chris quotes Free Bird and incorrectly pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd as "Lehnnard Sky nerd." (It is worth noting that the only song Chris knows by this band is the one one Guitar Hero). He's all for equality but he doesn't want to be forced into lifestyles he's not comfortable with or apart of. Chris wishes Ahuvia good luck with his sex change operation but warns him he will never be a part of femdom and ends the video with "damn homo", negating everything he's just said about being ok with homosexuals. This video was brought to the pubic via a third party known as "CWCvilleProductions".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Re-Calling Ahuvia
| video = {{#ev:youtube|28R_txwJefI}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2011]]
| subject =
| style =
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt =
| previous = [[Victory Rockout]]
| next = Current
}}

== Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David ==

{{Protip|Please don't flag Chris's videos.}}

Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by now and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uEMFYldLCUM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}
=== Transcript ===

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the ark.]]

''[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.]'' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY!]] JUUUULAAYY! IT'S [[Ian|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]! ''[He waves his hands while saying this]'' JUUULLLAY! Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* ''[blows raspberry while flipping the bird]'' And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... ''[hits pad of paper offscreen]'' David!

And he lives in... ''[hits pad again]'' California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... ''[dramatic lean forward]'' [[Aspergers syndrome|assburgers]]! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the ''[makes quote-marks hand gesture]'' scientific fact that [[autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my Little Big Planet 2 animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[murmurs, sounding a bit like Popeye] [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job]]! And he is also a gamer. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''normal again'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the Claw of Fail]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e thatisnotmyname]! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]''

==References==
<references/>

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]