CWCki - User contributions [en]

Financhu Crisis

2017-08-02T17:23:15Z

Dkaien: /* August '17 */

[[File:Please, Donate (720p).mp400001.png ‎|thumb|400px|Chris's online activity for much of 2016]]
{{Ongoing}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Begging Counter}}

{{quote|I do not feel I would be mentally suited for an application-required, long waits to be contacted or not contacted, "am I hired yet", under "The Man", Freaking job!!! Stop Telling me to "Get a Job". Gawd!!!|Chris, April 2017<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job]]</ref>, after his friends on Facebook refused to entertain his nonsense excuses for not having a job.}}

The '''Financhu Crisis''' is a term coined by users from [[CWCki Forums|Kiwi Farms]] to describe the steep decline in the Chandler family's financial management beginning in early [[2016]].

Signs of the Chandlers' worsening finances were made apparent by the increasing amounts of begging videos and donation requests on [[YouTube]] and [[Facebook]].

Given that [[Barb]] is elderly on a [[tugboat|fixed income]], and [[Chris]] is [[stress|''lazy'']] on a fixed income, one could only bleakly speculate what will happen when Chris is eventually left to fend for himself once Barb passes away.

==Background==
[[File:Financhu Wordle.png ‎|thumb|400px|A wordcloud of the videos and Facebook posts Chris made during the Financhu Crisis. Note how big "money" and "donations" are...]]

To this day, the Chandlers' financial woes are caused by their own irresponsible behaviors. Chris, [[Chris and money|learning absolutely nothing over the years]], has squandered any available money on [[Lego|children's toys]], [[PS4|video games]], [[McDonalds|fast food]], and [[sex toys]]. Barb, on the other hand, has simply been ignoring long-term debts and letting them pile up to alarming amounts, armed only with vain hopes that her manbaby would raise money for her bills.

'''Chris''' has made some efforts to generate income for the household over the past few years (bar that of [[Stress|actually finding a job]]), which included opening an [[Etsy|Etsy shop]] in [[2015]]. However, any profits gained would immediately go straight to toy purchases, an irresponsible move that would to turn out to be a recurring problem that keeps the Chandlers in the red. The shop would eventually shut down from Chris lazily not fulfilling Etsy orders, but he would still find some revenue by the occasional [[eBay]] sales of select merch from the [[14 Branchland Court|hoard]]. To further compound the issue, Chris has been instilled with a very real belief that [[fans]] are willing to drop large sums of money into his bank account [[Chris and his ego|for nothing]], an expectation that has since been strengthened by the $1,000 donation by [[DStecks]] in [[September 2015]]. This belief would take on the form of the many begging videos that highlight the saga to this day.

'''Barb''' seems to have outstanding debts that dwarfs Chris' financial handiwork. On [[September 2016]], she faced lawsuits from Discover and Capital One for failing to pay the large amounts of her credit card debt, according to Virginia District Court records. It is worth noting that it takes a lot of ignored [[Trolls|debt collector]] calls over a long period of time to get a simple credit card debt escalated to a lawsuit, suggesting that Barb may have been outright ignoring making any payments to her credit cards. Only time will tell if more creditor companies begin to sue Barb for her neglect. In [[August 2016]], Chris revealed that the household is still under a [[14 Branchland Court#Mortgage|mortgage of $115,000]], introducing a far more worrying debt looming over the horizon.

Both Chris and Barb continue to barely stay afloat with their lives thanks to their own [[tugboat]]s, but their inactive lifestyle and reckless spending will not last forever at this rate.

Despite it all, '''Chris has not once attempted to find a job'''. In April 2017, with the household finances near the breaking point, one of Chris's IRL friends informed him of [https://www.vadars.org/ DARS], a service designed to help people with disabilities enter the workforce. [[Ego|Chris reacted ''with a temper tantrum, posting a multi-paragraph rant on not wanting to work'']].

==Outstanding Debts==
This table summarizes various unpaid debts charged to credit cards and other owed amounts between Chris and Barb. Keep in mind that these are only amounts found by [[CWCki|Christorians]] via Chris' online posts and Virginia District Court public records.

On 30 November 2016, Chris started a [[Patreon]] with a goal of '''$250,000'''; he estimates $200,000 to pay off the mortgage and other debts, plus an extra $50,000 for himself, [[Chris and negotiation|just ''because'']].

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!data-sort-type="date"|Date
!data-sort-type="string"|Item
!data-sort-type="currency" |Amount ($)
|-
|Ongoing
|Credit card debt<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/3-9-chris-tweets-that-hes-a-feminist.28977/page-9#post-2140532</ref>
!style="text-align:right;" |6,000.00
|-
|24 September 2014
|Loan for [[Son-Chu]]
!style="text-align:right;" |9,000.00
|-
|1 March 2016
|PS4 purchase (via Fingerhut.com)
!style="text-align:right;" |540.00
|-
|16 March 2016
|Discover Bank court case
!style="text-align:right;" |4,706.93
|-
|16 April 2016
|Payday loan
!style="text-align:right;" |3,000.00
|-
|Ongoing
|Mortgage (revealed on Facebook)
!style="text-align:right;" |115,000.00
|-
|14 September 2016
|Capital One court case
!style="text-align:right;" |15,906.99
|- class="sortbottom"
!style="background-color:#E9E9E9; text-align:right;", colspan="2"|Total
!style="font-weight:bold;color:#FF0000"|$154,153.92
|}

==Chris's Frivolous Spending==
[[File:Had-to-pay-3fyhaf (credit to Gunslinger).png|thumb|300px|A recurring theme throughout the Crisis.]]

Like any terminally irresponsible adult, Chris likes to keep his [[bedroom]] filled with toys, while [[Chris and money|keeping his wallet empty]]. Below is an list of the known expenses Chris has made during the Financhu Crisis, collected from online postings and eBay purchase history. Some amounts are estimated, but all amounts are debilitating.

During [[2016]], Chris was known to waste over $2,500 on toys.

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!class="unsortable"|Item
!data-sort-type="currency" |Amount ($)
|-
|New PS4 console<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/internet-detective-proves-chris-bought-the-ps4-himself.18249/</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;" |540.00
|-
|About 30 game purchases for the PS4<ref>http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu&completion=all&order=played&pf=ps4#content</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;" |600.00
|-
|[https://shop.lego.com/en-US/Firehouse-Headquarters-75827 $350 Ghostbusters lego set], bought on eBay<ref name=l>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-spent-over-425-on-ebay-last-month.19451/</ref> for ''higher''.
!style="text-align:right;" |425.88
|-
|Transformers action figures<ref name=tftr>[[List of toys#Transformers: Titans Return]]</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;"|587.00
|-
|[[Naru]], a dakimakura pillow (or ''hug pillow'').
!style="text-align:right;"|90.00
|-
|Skylanders toys<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_toys#Skylanders</ref><ref>[[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff]]</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;"|195.00
|-
|Pokemon merchandise<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_toys#Pokemon</ref><ref name=ebay>[[List of toys#Bought in 2017 from eBay]]</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|181.79
|-
|Amiibo (Smash series "Pit")<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/List_of_toys#Nintendo_Amiibos</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|12.99
|-
|"I'm Done Adulting" T-Shirt<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/screenshot-www-facebook-com-2016-10-03-14-31-36-png.141291/</ref>
!style="text-align:right;"|23.99
|-
|Lego Dimensions (assorted sets)<ref>[[List of toys#Lego Dimensions]]</ref><ref name=ebay/>
!style="text-align:right;"|238.00
|-
|My Little Pony-themed card sleeves<ref name=ebay/>.
!style="text-align:right;"|13.54
|-
|14K yellow gold Cleopatra bar 16" necklace<ref>[[http://archive.is/tPnTI]]</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;"|399.99
|-
|[[Skylanders avatar]] products, for use as raffle prizes<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>.
!style="text-align:right;"|750
|-
|- class="sortbottom"
!style="background-color:#E9E9E9; text-align:right;", colspan="1"|Total
!style="font-weight:bold;color:#FF0000"|$4,058.18
|}

==2016 Timeline==

===March===
*1st - Chris buys a PS4, worth $540, from Fingerhut (using a credit card)<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/internet-detective-proves-chris-bought-the-ps4-himself.18249/</ref>.
*16th - Barb is found guilty in a debt case involving Discover Financial Services. The judgement states that she owes $4,706.93<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/barb-sued-by-discover-bank.18379/page-28#post-1324090</ref>.
*19th - Chris spends $425 on a single Lego set<ref name=l/>, available for $75 less on the lego website.<ref>https://shop.lego.com/en-US/Firehouse-Headquarters-75827</ref>

===April===
*12th - [[Please, Donate|Chris begs]]. This video is notable for being the first video devoted to asking for money.
*16th - It's revealed that Chris borrowed $3,000 from a payday loan<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-spent-over-425-on-ebay-last-month.19451/page-13#post-1392146</ref>.
*24th - [[Donation Request|Chris begs]] again, this time without offering crafts in exchange.

===May===
*4th - The donations listing on Chris's Etsy shop is removed, presumably for violating TOS<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fb-4-29-chris-is-excited-about-ratchet-clank-totes-swag.20150/page-10#post-1434759</ref>.
*9th - Chris spends $60 on his [[waifu|waifu]].
*23rd - The Chandlers pay $616.52 for the first half of 14BC's 2016 [[:File:Property tax 2016 part1.png|property tax]].
*23rd - [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|Chris begs]] for bananas. He also [[Live Game Stream - Uncharted|announces]] the debut of a Support button on his Youtube channel to replace the Etsy listing.
*25th - Chris begs [[May 2016 Facebook posts#Etsy listing removal|in a Facebook post]] while reminding readers that Etsy removed his donation listing and that he has a Support button on Youtube instead.
*26th - Chris begs [[May 2016 Facebook posts#Uncharted video and donations|on Facebook]], links to his game stream of Uncharted and repeats his statements from the 25th.
*28th - Chris spends nearly $100 on Transformers<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/updated-6-1-2016-chris-spent-100-on-transformers-five-days-after-begging-for-money.21201/</ref>.
*29th - Chris spends another $30 on his waifu<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/updated-6-1-2016-chris-spent-100-on-transformers-five-days-after-begging-for-money.21201/page-8#post-1498444</ref>.
*31st - Chris spends $150 more on Transformers<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/updated-6-1-2016-chris-spent-100-on-transformers-five-days-after-begging-for-money.21201/page-6#post-1496692</ref>.

===June===
*8th - Chris's Etsy shop is closed<ref>[[Etsy#Shop Closure]]</ref>, presumably for failing to send orders.
*11th - [[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|Chris begs]] for money in the same video in which he announces that his shop is closed. Starting from this video, Chris adds his begging to the video descriptions.
*14th - Chris begs to have $100 for Barb's asthma medicine, in [[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|two]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] which feature Barb.
*17th - [[Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 1|Chris begs]] to have $200 for an electric bill, while reading a fanfic called "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness".
*19th - [[Reading "Unicorns, Rainbows, and a Bluebird of Happiness" Chapter 2|Chris begs]], again saying he wants $200 for an electric bill, and also wanting food money, while reading another chapter of Bluebird.
*19th - Chris wants to become a [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|prostitute]], in an attempt to get both money and china.
*26th - Chris begs his half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole Smithey]] for financial help, while simultaneously insulting him for "pissing and burning" the money he earns from working as a movie critic on apartment rent<ref>[[June 2016 Facebook posts#O brother, where art thou?]]</ref>.
*29th - [[Announcement 06292016|Chris begs]], saying that even though he got donations, he wants more because "we could still do better," before reading the third chapter of Bluebird.

===July===
*1st - Chris pays his $541 court costs for pepper-spraying a Gamestop employee in 2014<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/7-1-chris-paid-his-court-costs.22142/</ref>.
*8th - [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|Chris begs]] while reading chapter four of Bluebird.
*9th - [[Announcement 20160709|Chris begs]] in a long rant, saying he is stressed from dealing with finances. He mentions a mortgage among the bills. He wants food money for himself, Barb and their pets.
*10th-11th - [[HELP, PLEASE!!!|Chris begs]] in a series of four videos, wanting $20 or $50. He demeans himself on camera to get people to donate. Finally, he thanks people for sending the "minimum $20" before begging to have money for Barb's teeth.
*13th - [[Donations Further Requested, Please|Barb begs]] to have money for her dental work.
*13th - Chris finally decides to sell some of his toys to raise money. He lists one Pokemon card on eBay for $50.<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Chris Offers a Pokemon Card for Sale]]</ref>
*14th - Chris lists two more Pokemon cards on eBay, for $100 each.
*15th - Chris begs for food money in a [[July 2016 Facebook posts#"I'm not on drugs!"|Facebook post]], complaining that people aren't willing to donate anymore.
*18th - [[Update 20160718|Chris begs]] for money in the same video in which he reads an anniversary dedication, while expecting to be paid $50 for it.
*18th - One of the $100 Pokemon cards Chris listed on eBay is sold<ref>http://offer.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewBidsLogin&item=282101638696</ref>.
*20th-22nd - Chris produces [[Paid Video Requests|eight videos]] to earn money from his fanbase.
*23rd - Chris returns to begging [[July 2016 Facebook posts#2 Strikes on Youtube|on Facebook]]. He also announces that "this window is for Donations Only. No video requests until further notice," after his Youtube account receives its second strike against it for violating policy on "nudity or sexual content" after [[Paid Video Requests#Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shake my boobies|a video]] he uploaded on the 22nd got reported. He [[:File:Cwc-crayolasword-stitched.png|also begs]] to a Kiwi Farms user named crayolasword who asks him about the situation.
*24th - Chris announces [[July 2016 Facebook posts#I have grown a labia!|on Facebook]] that he has grown a labia using subliminal frequencies found on Youtube. He also requests donations for gender reassignment.
*26th - Three days after being barred from uploading videos to his CwcvilleGuardian Youtube account, Chris circumvents the ban by [[Paid Video Request Reminder|uploading to another account]], restarting the Paid Video Requests program and accepting offers for $10-$50.
*28th - Chris makes one sale on the video program.

===August===
<center><gallery>
File:Barb capitalone.png|Capital One Bank vs Barb
File:Dogcourtcase2.png|Chris fined - No county dog tag 2
File:Dogcourtcase1.png|Chris fined - No rabies certificate 2
</gallery></center>
*4th - Barb is sued by yet another bank. The hearing will take place on September 14th.
*5th - Chris pays $121 in court costs and fines for failing to acquire proper certifications for his dogs.
*5th - Chris begs for donations in [[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning|a Facebook post]] and asks for tubes of [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|Oestrogel]] to be sent to him.
*9th - Chris relists the Birthday Pikachu card on eBay for $500 and begs people to "Buy It Now and help me and my family."<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Buy this $3,000 VHS tape]]</ref> He also offers a VHS tape of Aladdin for $3,000.<ref>http://www.ebay.com/itm/282128626463</ref>
*11th - Chris begs [[Cole Smithey|Cole Smithey]] for financial help again, this time by saying, "Hey! Cole!!! Get off of your ass and apologize and make peace with us here, In Person, and Help Us Financially, Please."<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts|Get off your ass, Cole!]]</ref>
*14th - A buyer purchases the [[Megatron pistol]] from Chris, netting Chris $50. It's the first Relic of Fail to be sold during the Crisis.
*31st - Chris begs his audience [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!|on Facebook]] to pay his mortgage of $115,000.

===September===
<center><gallery>
File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png|Capital One Bank court ruling.
</gallery></center>
*12th - Chris is spotted and photographed at a [[Card Games#Toys "Я" Us|Toys "Я" Us]] buying two tins of Pokemon Cards, two days before his mother goes to court.
*14th - Greene County's court rules that Barb owes $15,906.99 in unpaid debt to Capital One bank.
*19th - Chris begs in [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Another new cat|a Facebook post]], while showing off his new pet cat. He wants money to cover bills for the second half of the month, one paragraph after stating that he needed "allowance fun" to get a break from [[stress]] in the first half of the month.
*27th - Chris claims in a [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt|video]] that the "fickle finances" are improving for him and Barb, shortly before playing with his newly-bought Transformers toys, showing that he is unaware or does not care about the fact that his mother legally owes over $20,000 as a result of the two lawsuits filed against her in 2016 or that the property tax for their house will be due in two months.

===October===
*18th - Chris resumes begging in a [[I'm sick; we need money donations; no video requests for a while|video]], saying that he is sick and that he is running low on chicken noodle soup and money. Notably, he had spent $160 buying Transformers toys on Ebay in the weeks beforehand<ref name=tftr/>.

===November===
<center><gallery>
File:Receipt for a penny - credit to Philosophy Phil.png|$0.01 donation
</gallery></center>

*9th - Chris, in response to the election, films a [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|video]] of him destroying a Transformer toy that is meant to represent Donald Trump. The toy was part of the Transformers toy purchase back in September, costing him $25.
*18th - Chris spends $90 on Pokemon<ref>[[Twitter#Ticked off about Pokemon Sun]]</ref><ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Pokemon Sun and Moon networking]]</ref> and Transformers<ref>[[Twitter#More wish list demands]]</ref>.
*21st - The Chandlers pay the second half of their 2016 property tax for 14 Branchland Court, costing them $616.52<ref>[[:File:Propertytax2016paid.png]]</ref>.
*21st - Chris [[Help, please|makes another video]] to beg for donations again. He also [[Twitter#Help, please|posts]] to Twitter, saying, "We need more money, please. The Mortgage people are [[Kick the Autistic|kicking us again]]. Please send money to me via PayPal."
*22nd - Chris reacts to a penny donated by a troll<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-11-21-help-please.25958/page-6#post-1893900</ref>, [[Twitter#We need more than a penny|tweeting]], "We need Donations larger than a penny apiece. Please try to give us $10 or a Lot more than that."
*30th - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb pawns jewelry, Chris decides to join Patreon|posts]] that he will join [[Patreon]], after Barb had to pawn a necklace, which she had to sell at a significant loss for $325, to pay debts/bills.
*30th - Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Another wish list update|updates]] his Christmas [[wish list]], to remove the $50 Transformers toy<ref>http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=HAS25156&mode=retail Chris mentioned this shop listing</ref>, named "Alpha Trion and Astrotrain," which he had bought. He does not pawn this, or any of his other toys, to help Barb; instead, he makes [[The Alpha Trion/"Young Warrior" Challenge|a video of himself playing with it]].
*30th - Chris launches his [[Patreon]] account. He states that he wants $200,000 to pay the "home's finances, including the Mortgage and Credit Cards." He also says he wants an extra $50,000 for "[[List of toys|rainy day(s)]]"

===December===
*1st - Chris updates his [[Patreon]] with more gifts, consisting of merchandise from Skylanders [[Chris and his Ego#Fixation on self-image|customized to appear like his in-game avatar]] (which would be produced by that company) and clarifies that he wants $250,000 total, rather than per month, showing that he still has unrealistic views on how much he can scam out of people.
*2nd - Chris uploads [[Alpha Trion/"Young" warrior challenge explained]], in which he plugs his Patreon channel while playing with expensive Transformers toys.
*19th - Barb wants to sell a [[Craigslist#Riding lawn tractor|riding lawn tractor]] for $595.

==2017 Timeline==
===January '17===
*4th - Chris [[January 2017 Facebook Posts#Inability to feel like drawing and writing the stories|whines]] about having "head of household worries," like the bills and debt; however, instead of Adulting and applying for a job, he begs to have $500 a month.
*13th - Over three weeks after the original lawn tractor ad was taken down from [[Craigslist]] due to a ween, Chris finally realized what happened and re-posted it, still asking for $595. In the meantime, he had bought over $100 worth of [[Z-Ring Fun Extra|Pokemon]] and [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff|Skylanders]] toys and had made videos of himself playing with them.

===February '17===
*16th - Chris uploads [[A browsing around an ol' playground]], in which he begs for money before showing footage of himself walking around a playground.
*17th - One day after begging for handouts of $10 per person, Chris plays a newly-purchased video game level for ''Lego Dimensions'', ''The Lego Batman Movie Story Pack'', which had been released on 10 February with a cost between $35-$50<ref>https://psnprofiles.com/trophies/3900-lego-dimensions/Sonichu</ref>.

===March '17===
*1st - Chris offers parts of [[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Selling Bob's stamp collection|Bob's stamp collection]] for sale.
*2nd - Chris spends $50.25 on toys after making $68 (minus the cost of shipping) from selling his father's stamps.<ref name=ebay/>
*3rd - Chris lists his [[EBay#Chris's stamp album|personal stamp album]] for $1,000.
*7th - Chris buys Lego World for the PS4 on its release date<ref>https://psnprofiles.com/trophies/5906-lego-worlds/Sonichu</ref> for $30, erasing the last of the profit he had made from selling stamps, even though he had claimed to need the money for paying bills.
*13th - He spends another $9 on Transformers.<ref name=ebay/>
*19th - Chris [[March 2017 Facebook Posts#Please buy stamps|begs on Facebook]] for people to buy more stamps, saying "[[Lie|My mother and I can Really do with the money]]." At that point, he had made $85 in sales then quickly spent $90 on toys.<ref name=ebay/> <ref>[[List of Chris's video games#PlayStation 4 (PS4)]]</ref>
*19th - White knights spring into action and purchase seven stamps, totaling $41.50. Five were bought by a single person (at $34) and the rest ($7.50) by two others.
*19th - Chris lies about wasting stamp money on toys, claiming in Facebook's comments section that he "did NOT buy any lego sets" and that the money went towards "our debtor payments" instead.

===April '17===
*4th - Barb's [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Whining about the mortgage|bank account is over $800 in the red]] after making two payments to Seterus, Inc, a loan servicing company - likely a result of failing to juggle both a past-due account and the autopay feature.
*5th - Chris [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Chris explains why he won't get a job|throws a tantrum at his Facebook friends]] after they suggest he get a job and begs for sales on his "high priced" stamp covers.
*6th - [[2017 tweets#Begging Cole for money|Chris tweets]] to [[Cole Smithey]], asking for financial help.
*7th - Chris lists the [[Sonic Totem]] on eBay for $1,500. It sold within 4 hours<ref>http://archive.is/yGMuu - The video announcement was uploaded at 4:16 pm and the Totem sold at 8:09 pm (both times Eastern)</ref>. It is also discovered that the value of 14 Branchland Court has decreased by $3,248 in the past 30 days, according to Zillow.com.
*7th - One hour after the Totem sale, Chris buys a $400 necklace for Barb, to replace one she pawned in November 2016.<ref>http://archive.is/tPnTI</ref>. During the next three days, he orders $750 worth of [[Skylanders avatar]] products for his [[Stamps|raffle prizes]]<ref>He mentions ordering in [[By the book, Buy the book plus update]] and confirmed the amount in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>.
*10th - Chris [[By the book, Buy the book plus update|implores people to buy his $1,000 stamp album]], because he had ''already spent the money from selling the totem.'' He also states he will mail it later in the week.
*14th - Barb begs, [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|claiming she needs money to pay an overdue power bill]], ''while wearing the $400 necklace Chris had bought her a week before''. Six hours later, Chris records a [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|23-minute video of him playing with expensive toys]]. He also explains that he had used part of the Totem sale money to service his credit card debt.
*17th - In a sign of desperation, Chris [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Half-price on stamp album|slashes the price on his stamp album]] by half, to $500, and begs people to buy it.
*18th - Chris [[2017 tweets#Begging to Cole again|begs to Cole]] for the second time this month.
*19th - Chris's [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering six Sonichu drawings for $2,000|Paypal account is in the red by over $1,450]], because he had failed to ship the Sonic Totem; as a result, the buyer filed a dispute and eBay or Paypal placed a temporary hold on the $1,500, pulling it from Chris's account. He [[eBay#Sonichu drawings from 2014|lists six Sonichu drawings]], from 2014, at $2,000 for the lot. Then, he digs through 10 to 20 bags of wet, moldy clothes, left over from the [[Destruction Of Chris's House]] three years before, and finds The Classic shirt. He [[eBay#The Classic shirt|lists it on eBay]] for $12,000 (or a Buy It Now price of $20,000). Later, he records [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]] to promote the listing.
*20th - [[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance|Barb bails herself and Chris out of imminent financial ruin]] by borrowing from their life insurance, repeating [[Open Relationship E-mails#Barb is borrowing from Chris's life insurance|a move she pulled in 2014]]. This time, she uses the cash to fix the $800 deficit on her bank account, pay for Chris to ship the Sonic Totem to its buyer, and buy groceries.
*21st - The [[Sonic Totem]] buyer receives it in the mail and leaves positive feedback, saying, "The item arrived safely." Since the dispute was resolved, the sale money was then released to Chris, putting his Paypal back in the black.
*22nd - The [[eBay#The Classic shirt|auction for the Classic Shirt]] concludes, bid to $25,100.
*27th - Chris [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017|asks people to buy his stamp album for $500]], since his bank account is still in the red. He also mentions that the Classic Shirt buyer had not paid him $25,100 for it yet, and he would give her until the next day to begin paying.
*30th - The [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle]] concludes. Chris had revenue of $165.76, but spent $790 on prizes and is obligated to spend $90 more, leaving him with a '''negative profit of $714.24'''.

===May '17===
[[File:Paypal request to cole.png|thumb|What Cole would have seen if he had clicked on the Paypal.me link Chris tweeted to him while begging this month.]]
[[File:Penny_donation_may_2017.jpeg|thumb|What Cole would have really paid.]]

*5th - On eBay, Chris halves the prices on two listings: his stamp album (again), to $250; and a collection of Sonichu drawings from 2014, to $1,000. He [[May 2017 Facebook posts#Reduced prices on eBay|begs people to buy]] on Facebook.
*5th - In a display of [[hypocrisy]], Chris mocks [[Cole Smithey]] on Twitter [[May 2017 tweets#Mocking Cole for requesting donations|for requesting donations on Patreon]].
*5th - Chris claims his bank account is in the red for the second time in a week [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 05052017|due to the auto-pay for one of his bills]], echoing the exact problem Barb claimed in the previous month. Chris's [[Monthly Tugboat]] had deposited $1,300 to him two days beforehand. He also realizes that The Classic bidder won't be paying for it.
*8th - Over the course of a week, Chris had spent $90 on [[List of Chris's video games#Games bought during the Financhu Crisis|six new PS4 games]], even though he had said his bank account was in the red. PSN allows Paypal for purchases, so Chris was either lying or being financially irresponsible by using his Paypal to fund the purchases instead of transferring the money to his bank.
*8th - After 561 days since the last update to the Sonichu comic, [[Etsy#Donate towards New Comic Book Pages|which he had been paid over $1,000 to do]], Chris [[Live Drawing Stream - 05082017|resumes work on it]]. He requests donations and pledges to his Patreon for his effort. A day later, he had gotten zero new pledges.
*10th - Chris again halves the price on the Sonichu drawings, to $500, and [[May 2017 Facebook posts#Slashed price on Sonichu drawings|begs for a sale]], stating, "my mom and I could do with some more money, please."
*11th - Chris [[May 2017 tweets#Paypal.me|links to his new Paypal.me account]] and begs for financial help.
*11th - Barb [[May 2017 tweets#Financial leap of faith|is allowing her bank account to be in the red after a mortgage payment]]. Less than a week after mocking Cole for not reconciling with Barb, Chris [[May 2017 tweets#Help, Cole!|begs him for money]], asking for [[DStecks|$1,000]].
*14th - [[Live Drawing Stream#05142017|Another livestream of Chris drawing]] Sonichu comic pages is recorded, clocking in at 1 hour and 38 minutes of footage. Chris begs for $10 donations or pledges to [[Patreon]] in the video description.
*15th - Chris [[Live Drawing Stream#05152017|records himself using Photoshop for an hour and a half]]. He begs for his audience to "PLEASE DONATE BIG NOW!" It should be noted that he filmed himself surrounded by expensive electronics, such as the PS4 camera and laptop (possibly a newly-acquired one, as it had not been mentioned by Chris before).
*16th - Chris [[May 2017 tweets#Begging to Cole again|tries to beg from Cole again]], still asking for [[DStecks|$1,000]].
*17th - The Chandlers pay the first half of the 2017 property tax for [[14 Branchland Court]], costing them $606.83.<ref>[[:File:Propertytax2017 1.png]]</ref>
*19th - After announcing that [[May 2017 Facebook posts#Pretend ads in Sonichu|Sonichu 11 pages will be ready in a few days]], Chris begs for handouts. Later that day, he discovers that his cat, Sorbet, [[May 2017 Facebook posts#Sorbet badly injured, staying at vet|had been seriously injured]] and takes him to a vet.
*24th - Chris [[Minor Update, Handouts!|begs for handouts on video]], claiming to need money for food and mentioning that he was charged $160 for Sorbet's vet bill. He demands for donations to be at least a dollar and suggests a $10 minimum. An hour later, he uploads another video, angered at having received a donation of less than a dollar. In the second video, Barb appears and joins in the begging, requesting money for meal replacement shakes.
*25th - Chris [[May 2017 Facebook posts#More begging|links to the first of the previous day's videos on Facebook]] and begs again. He also deletes the second video.

===June '17===
*16th - Barb [[We need immediate funds, please|begs for food money]], while wearing both a $400 gold necklace and a [[Semen|pearl necklace]]. Shortly after, Chris posts an in-progress Sonichu page to [[Patreon]] and begs on that platform for grocery money.

===July '17===
[[File:Mariner Finance vs Chris.png|thumb|Mariner Finance vs Chris]]

*11th - Mariner Finance sues Chris for unpaid debt.
*22nd - After a month without begging, due to a boost in [[Patreon]] funds after Chris revived the Sonichu comic, [[July 2017 tweets#Resuming begging|he begs for $50]]. He had given that amount to [[DoopieDoOver]] earlier that month for a commissioned profile picture and a pledge on her Patreon.

===August '17===
*1st - Chris pledges more money to DoopieDoOver's Patreons, hoping to receive anthropomorphized lesbian [[My Little Pony]] porn in return. Doopie, aware of Chris and Barb's financial straits, offers to refund Chris's payments to her, but he refuses.
*24th - Chris is due in civil court for an unpaid debt case involving Mariner Finance.

==See also==
*[[Chris and money]] - A more general overview of Chris's finances
*[[Chris and business]] - Chris's attempts to make money outside of begging
*[[DStecks]] - Some argue that his donation inspired Chris's shameless begging

==Sources==
<references/>
[[Category:Sagas]]
[[Category:Things bought with taxpayer money]]

Un-clit

2016-07-25T20:33:29Z

Dkaien: /* Repiercing the Un-clit */

{{honest}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]].]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|thumb|A Karma Houdini at work.]]

The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobo monkeys.

Trolls speculated almost immediately that, owing to the rigid hygiene practices necessary for a piercing to heal properly, Chris--who [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|fails to meet even basic hygiene requirements]]--would unwittingly allow the piercing to become infected in short order. Thus, almost no one was surprised when, after a couple of weeks, the piercing became very badly infected and began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection". Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the infection worsening and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, he couldn't keep it from getting infected and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether.

Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewellery, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.

==September 18th Facebook Status==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own [[duck|Penis]] Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My [[china|Vagina]] Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

==Repiercing the Un-clit==
On 4 [[December 2014]], an update was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-got-his-taint-repierced.6336/</ref>

{{quotebox|I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.}}

{{quotebox|Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.}}

{{quotebox|I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.}}

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the wound from the first infection had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that due to Chris's lack of general hygiene, the filthiness of his everyday surroundings, and his lack of knowledge about how to properly care for the piercing would lead to Chris risking septicemia from the contaminated wound.

Chris appears to have either gotten very bad advice about caring for his new piercing, or gotten good advice and ignored it. No knowledgeable body piercing provider would suggest cleaning a fresh piercing with rubbing alcohol, which is far too harsh a solvent. Chris's misguided aftercare regimen likely contributed to the piercing's rejection.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his [[duck]] while he wore [[Tomgirl Saga|women's clothing]]. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

==The End of the Un-clit==
{{quote|I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.|Chris has finally given up on the piercing.}}

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another infection). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-un-clit-is-no-more-chris-comes-to-his-senses.6467/</ref> He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on [[C-Mas]] [[December 2014|2014]] still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref> Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]].

==Photos==
{{collapsible
|Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.|<center><gallery>
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|The piercing as it originally appeared.
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|The piercing after becoming badly infected.
File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|The duck strap.
File:ChrisContraption_03.JPG|The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris.
File:ChrisContraption 05.JPG|The duck strap, from the left.
</gallery></center>}}

==He did it again==
{{main|Un-clit 2.0}}
On 24 July 2016, Chris announced on Facebook that he had grown a labia. In actuality, the photo he provided of the wound shows that it is likely an abscess from the Un-clit.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Un-clit 2.0]]

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Un-clit

2016-07-25T20:28:25Z

Dkaien:

{{honest}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Tribbing.png|thumb|[[Audiobooks|LOOK AT THAT LINK GODDAMN]].]]
[[File:ChristheKarmaHoudini.PNG|thumb|A Karma Houdini at work.]]

The '''Un-clit''' was what [[Chris]] called a small piercing on his "taint" (or perineum, in clinical terminology), what's known as a guiche piercing among body modification enthusiasts. He had apparently gotten it as "a fair substitute" for a clitoris, indicating that Chris believes the clitoris is located on a woman's perineum. It seems that Chris's knowledge of female anatomy wasn't noticeably improved by his encounters with [[Mia Hamm]]. Chris's rationale for getting the un-clit also included an introduction to the sex lives of female bonobo monkeys.

Trolls speculated almost immediately that, owing to the rigid hygiene practices necessary for a piercing to heal properly, Chris--who [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|fails to meet even basic hygiene requirements]]--would unwittingly allow the piercing to become infected in short order. Thus, almost no one was surprised when, after a couple of weeks, the piercing became very badly infected and began to migrate out of Chris's body in a process referred to as "rejection". Instead of letting the area heal before a second attempt, Chris immediately tried to re-pierce it, with a ''safety pin''. This rather predictably resulted in the infection worsening and even after going to a professional and having it re-done again, he couldn't keep it from getting infected and [[Catherine|Catie]] eventually convinced Chris to give up on the piercing altogether.

Factoring 2 professional piercings and 2 items of jewellery, Chris [[Chris and money|wasted a grand total of about $200]] of his [[monthly tugboat]] on this.

==September 18th Facebook Status==
{{quotebox|Well. A whole Half a month without a new update on the trolls' website; I was hoping for longer than that. And I WAS going to make a [[Honest Content|public announcement]] about it anyway. But the cat is out of the bag now.

Anyway, I had something done to me that is Radical, that I did for my Lesbian Soul! I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th. About where my clitoris would be if I was a woman! It is a short, steel straight piece with steel spheres, of which I refer to them as my un-clit. I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily Baths or Showers, as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice daily.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, with no other outside opinions from anyone, have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint, with a steel sphere where my clitoris would be if I was born female, in my Soul identity as a Female and a [[Chris and English|Leabian]], as a fair substitute for that, and to stimulate the woman's clitoris via scissoring, YEARS ago after watching the Lesbian couple Tribbing each other in the soft core porn movie, "The Key to Sex".

And for those who don't know about Tribbing, it is more commonly known as Scissoring, Tribadism is when one woman rubs her vulva against the other woman's vulva, to stimulate each other's clitoris. In fact, there are clits that actually stick out, penetrating the labia and better stimulating the other clitoris. The female bonobo monkeys have long clits, and they trib other female bonobos a LOT of the time.

And to make sure EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS ONCE AND FOR ALL: I am a FEMALE, LESBIAN SOUL TRAPPED IN A MALE BODY. Or to put it another way, I am a LESBIAN TRANSGENDER! I am Seriously Into Women! Males Offend Me, even my own [[duck|Penis]] Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!

I HAVE Come Out as the Lesbian Transgender that I Always Have Been and Ever Will! And for everyone of you Sods who continue to mislabel me as a Homosexual Male, or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful jest, you all can kiss My [[china|Vagina]] Of My Soul!!!

Have a good day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribadism}}

Despite obviously violating the Community Guidelines, as well as being reported by [[Trolls|concerned Facebook users]], Facebook decided that no part of this status was considered pornographic enough to warrant being removed.

==Repiercing the Un-clit==
On 4 [[December 2014]], an update was released on the [[CWCki Forums]] that Chris had re-pierced his taint. The new piercing jewelry was apparently made of gold. <ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-got-his-taint-repierced.6336/</ref>

{{quotebox|I got the new gold barbell jewelry piece, and I will be getting repierced later today.}}

{{quotebox|Let's pray that in a month, this one does not go migrating either.}}

{{quotebox|I'm sending caring vibes and love your way! Have a lovely and safe day.}}

Re-piercing so soon after the first attempt was considered most unwise, as the wound from the first infection had had almost no time to heal, and many trolls were concerned that due to Chris's lack of general hygiene, the filthiness of his daily surrounds, and his lack of knowledge about how to properly care for the piercing would lead to Chris risking septicemia from the contaminated wound.

Five days later, it was revealed that in addition to the new piercing, Chris was wearing a strap-on harness with the dildo removed to conceal his [[duck]] while he wore [[Tomgirl Saga|women's clothing]]. This raised additional concerns about the cleanliness of the pierced region.

==The End of the Un-clit==
{{quote|I have an update to just let you know: the patch of skin the jewelry was in was shrinking again. I have just removed the barbell and spheres; I am giving up on that piercing now.|Chris has finally given up on the piercing.}}

A message from Chris leaked on the CWCki Forums on 12 December showed that he had removed the piercing due to the "patch of skin the jewelry was in ... shrinking again" (presumably referring to another infection). He stated he would "giv[e] up" on the Un-Clit.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-un-clit-is-no-more-chris-comes-to-his-senses.6467/</ref> He was deeply disappointed with this outcome, however, and on [[C-Mas]] [[December 2014|2014]] still hoped that he could receive the gift of a "magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails]]</ref> Santa seemingly did not oblige him, perhaps prompting Chris's malicious assault of a store employee on [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]].

==Photos==
{{collapsible
|Not safe for work, life, the faint of heart, or anyone who values their sanity.|<center><gallery>
File:Unclit (NSFL).jpg|The piercing as it originally appeared.
File:Unclit (INFECTED!!!).jpg|The piercing after becoming badly infected.
File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|The duck strap.
File:ChrisContraption_03.JPG|The duck strap and un-clit, from under Chris.
File:ChrisContraption 05.JPG|The duck strap, from the left.
</gallery></center>}}

==He did it again==
{{main|Un-clit 2.0}}
On 24 July 2016, Chris announced on Facebook that he had grown a labia. In actuality, the photo he provided of the wound shows that it is likely an abscess from the Un-clit.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Un-clit 2.0]]

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-12-01T19:20:04Z

Dkaien:

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]]. It would seem as if Chris is finally [[Chris_and_Remorse|accepting responsibility for his actions]], but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for what they did to ''him''.
* 4 November 2013 - Chris follows up with the latest in a long line of apologies to Megan for his "wishful thinking." He misattributes a quotation from "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
* 6 November 2013 - Chris posted a link to a LEGO site and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's revealed that his video is part of yet another [[Chris and contests|contest]].
* 12 November 2013 - Chris delivers another blanket apology. Of course, his apology is just as empty as his last one.
* 19 November 2013 - Chris posted about how he is lonely and depressed again, this time with pictures of his "steel-plated" heart and a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
* 25 November 2013 - Chris posts 3DS friend codes for himself and, apparently, his mother, seeking connections with other Pokemon players.
* 26 November 2013 - Chris apologizes to Megan. Again. He also mopes some more about his online reputation.
* 30 November 2013 - Chris angrily denies that he and his mother had Thanksgiving dinner at a soup hotel.

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|dang drawing]] I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

===Apologies to Megan===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
I sincerely and deeply apologize to Megan Schroeder, and everyone else who saw the drawing, for ever drawing and for ever wishfully thinking that way.
And to quote Pat Benatar, I hate myself for (EVER) loving you (Megan).}}

===Wanting LEGO's Attention===
One day after uploading a [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|video]] for the first time in years, Chris posted a link and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's also revealed that his video is part of yet another contest.
{{quotebox|6 November 2013

<nowiki>http://creator.us.lego.com/en-us/Creations/Details/Default.aspx?projectid=1fcaf4ab-52b3-47ed-aa0c-e1e9f72f752d&index=1</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|I'm interested in getting LEGO's attention as well with the full building; maybe get something for [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and for myself. Education is great, and it should be encouraged fully and more fully.}}

==="I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"===
{{quotebox|12 November 2013
I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. - [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|feeling sad, distressed and upset]].}}

One Matt Stufano replied to Chris:

{{quoteboxred|You can only apologies so much, then its time to move on. You have said your peace and that is that. My advice to you is to wipe out your " friends " list of those who don't care or continue to cause you distress. If people take pleasure in your pain then they are not someone you need around. Well all make mistakes and that's what is great about the coming of the next day; we learn from them. Hold your head up, don't feed into others warped sense of fun by acknowledging the taunts and keep moving forward. That MHS dedication is fantastic, and your looking good and things can keep going in that direction. Keep up the positivity.}}

Chris replied in turn, once again dismissing a friend's well-meaning advice and instead choosing to wallow in self-pity:

{{quotebox|That is easy for you to say; your heart does not feel triple-flattened into a void of deepest sadness after losing the only closest friends you had ever before moving on into a failure of an "adulthood". Seriously, UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a [[Honesty|Honest and Truthful]] LOT to win me over. And I just feel total lack of true positivity, so ONLY in person consoling can help me even a smidge.}}

...of course, we all know [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|how that will end up, won't we]]? Amusingly, Chris actually acknowledges in this response that he's [[Father Call|a failure as an adult]], which actually answers his own question as to why no women are interested in him [[Tomgirl|among]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other]] [[Toys|things.]]

===Hurt, Lonely and Depressed For The nth Time===
Once again (unsurprisingly), Chris posted on Facebook that he's lonely and depressed. However, he posted some pictures featuring his heart, along with a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
{{quotebox|19 November 2013
Feeling Constantly Hurt, Lonely and Depressed since October 29.}}

====The Heart Gallery====
<center>
<gallery>
File:ChrisHeart01.jpg|
File:ChrisHeart02.jpg|The picture along with the poem.
File:Chriszombie.jpg|A reposted picture of LEGO Zombie Chris for no particular reason.
</gallery>
</center>

===Pokemon Safari===
{{quotebox|25 November 2013

Pok'emon Safari in X/Y; name is Christian; 3DS Friend Code is 2836-0121-9073. If adding me, please leave your 3DS Name and Friend Code in the Comments Under THIS Post; do not message me.}}

In a comment, Chris added the following:

{{quotebox|Here's another FC from this house: BarbarAnne, 4296-3385-2696. Gets you Gyarados, Octillary and Poliwhirl.}}

===The definition of insanity===
{{quotebox|26 November 2013

Listen.

I do sincerely Forgive Megan Schroeder for everything she did to me and all.}}

===The Person I Am===
{{quotebox|26 November 2013

And Everything online that makes me look bad; none of them define me for the person I am. Do Not Judge Me on anything of that sort, or what any bad person spams or says. — feeling upset.}}

===Thanksgiving===
{{quotebox|30 November 2013

The damn rumor is false.

For Christ's sake! My mother and I stayed at home All Day Thanksgiving Thursday; no freaking soup kitchen was involved in our lives at all.

I am too damn depressed, so please quit badgering, bullying and harassing the hell out of me. GOD!!!}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-30T02:01:06Z

Dkaien:

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]]. It would seem as if Chris is finally [[Chris_and_Remorse|accepting responsibility for his actions]], but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for what they did to ''him''.
* 4 November 2013 - Chris follows up with the latest in a long line of apologies to Megan for his "wishful thinking." He misattributes a quotation from "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
* 6 November 2013 - Chris posted a link to a LEGO site and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's revealed that his video is part of yet another [[Chris and contests|contest]].
* 12 November 2013 - Chris delivers another blanket apology. Of course, his apology is just as empty as his last one.
* 19 November 2013 - Chris posted about how he is lonely and depressed again, this time with pictures of his "steel-plated" heart and a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
* 25 November 2013 - Chris posts 3DS friend codes for himself and, apparently, his mother, seeking connections with other Pokemon players.
* 26 November 2013 - Chris apologizes to Megan. Again. He also mopes some more about his online reputation.

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|dang drawing]] I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

===Apologies to Megan===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
I sincerely and deeply apologize to Megan Schroeder, and everyone else who saw the drawing, for ever drawing and for ever wishfully thinking that way.
And to quote Pat Benatar, I hate myself for (EVER) loving you (Megan).}}

===Wanting LEGO's Attention===
One day after uploading a [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|video]] for the first time in years, Chris posted a link and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's also revealed that his video is part of yet another contest.
{{quotebox|6 November 2013

<nowiki>http://creator.us.lego.com/en-us/Creations/Details/Default.aspx?projectid=1fcaf4ab-52b3-47ed-aa0c-e1e9f72f752d&index=1</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|I'm interested in getting LEGO's attention as well with the full building; maybe get something for [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and for myself. Education is great, and it should be encouraged fully and more fully.}}

==="I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"===
{{quotebox|12 November 2013
I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. - [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|feeling sad, distressed and upset]].}}

One Matt Stufano replied to Chris:

{{quoteboxred|You can only apologies so much, then its time to move on. You have said your peace and that is that. My advice to you is to wipe out your " friends " list of those who don't care or continue to cause you distress. If people take pleasure in your pain then they are not someone you need around. Well all make mistakes and that's what is great about the coming of the next day; we learn from them. Hold your head up, don't feed into others warped sense of fun by acknowledging the taunts and keep moving forward. That MHS dedication is fantastic, and your looking good and things can keep going in that direction. Keep up the positivity.}}

Chris replied in turn, once again dismissing a friend's well-meaning advice and instead choosing to wallow in self-pity:

{{quotebox|That is easy for you to say; your heart does not feel triple-flattened into a void of deepest sadness after losing the only closest friends you had ever before moving on into a failure of an "adulthood". Seriously, UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a [[Honesty|Honest and Truthful]] LOT to win me over. And I just feel total lack of true positivity, so ONLY in person consoling can help me even a smidge.}}

...of course, we all know [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|how that will end up, won't we]]? Amusingly, Chris actually acknowledges in this response that he's [[Father Call|a failure as an adult]], which actually answers his own question as to why no women are interested in him [[Tomgirl|among]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other]] [[Toys|things.]]

===Hurt, Lonely and Depressed For The nth Time===
Once again (unsurprisingly), Chris posted on Facebook that he's lonely and depressed. However, he posted some pictures featuring his heart, along with a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
{{quotebox|19 November 2013
Feeling Constantly Hurt, Lonely and Depressed since October 29.}}

====The Heart Gallery====
<center>
<gallery>
File:ChrisHeart01.jpg|
File:ChrisHeart02.jpg|The picture along with the poem.
File:Chriszombie.jpg|A reposted picture of LEGO Zombie Chris for no particular reason.
</gallery>
</center>

===Pokemon Safari===
{{quotebox|25 November 2013

Pok'emon Safari in X/Y; name is Christian; 3DS Friend Code is 2836-0121-9073. If adding me, please leave your 3DS Name and Friend Code in the Comments Under THIS Post; do not message me.}}

In a comment, Chris added the following:

{{quotebox|Here's another FC from this house: BarbarAnne, 4296-3385-2696. Gets you Gyarados, Octillary and Poliwhirl.}}

===The definition of insanity===
{{quotebox|26 November 2013

Listen.

I do sincerely Forgive Megan Schroeder for everything she did to me and all.}}

===The Person I Am===
{{quotebox|26 November 2013

And Everything online that makes me look bad; none of them define me for the person I am. Do Not Judge Me on anything of that sort, or what any bad person spams or says. — feeling upset.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-30T01:59:32Z

Dkaien:

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]]. It would seem as if Chris is finally [[Chris_and_Remorse|accepting responsibility for his actions]], but then he unintentionally back-pedals by forgiving [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for what they did to ''him''.
* 4 November 2013 - Chris follows up with the latest in a long line of apologies to Megan for his "wishful thinking." He misattributes a quotation from "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
* 6 November 2013 - Chris posted a link to a LEGO site and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's revealed that his video is part of yet another [[Chris and contests|contest]].
* 12 November 2013 - Chris delivers another blanket apology. Of course, his apology is just as empty as his last one.
* 19 November 2013 - Chris posted about how he is lonely and depressed again, this time with pictures of his "steel-plated" heart and a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
* 25 November 2013 - Chris posts 3DS friend codes for himself and, apparently, his mother, seeking connections with other Pokemon players.
* 26 November 2013 - Chris apologizes to Megan. Again. He also mopes some more about his online reputation.

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|dang drawing]] I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

===Apologies to Megan===
{{quotebox|4 November 2013
I sincerely and deeply apologize to Megan Schroeder, and everyone else who saw the drawing, for ever drawing and for ever wishfully thinking that way.
And to quote Pat Benatar, I hate myself for (EVER) loving you (Megan).}}

===Wanting LEGO's Attention===
One day after uploading a [[CWC_Lego_Manchester_High_School_Oct_18_2013|video]] for the first time in years, Chris posted a link and posted that he wanted LEGO's attention. It's also revealed that his video is part of yet another contest.
{{quotebox|6 November 2013

<nowiki>http://creator.us.lego.com/en-us/Creations/Details/Default.aspx?projectid=1fcaf4ab-52b3-47ed-aa0c-e1e9f72f752d&index=1</nowiki>}}

{{quotebox|I'm interested in getting LEGO's attention as well with the full building; maybe get something for [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and for myself. Education is great, and it should be encouraged fully and more fully.}}

==="I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!"===
{{quotebox|12 November 2013
I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. - [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|feeling sad, distressed and upset]].}}

One Matt Stufano replied to Chris:

{{quoteboxred|You can only apologies so much, then its time to move on. You have said your peace and that is that. My advice to you is to wipe out your " friends " list of those who don't care or continue to cause you distress. If people take pleasure in your pain then they are not someone you need around. Well all make mistakes and that's what is great about the coming of the next day; we learn from them. Hold your head up, don't feed into others warped sense of fun by acknowledging the taunts and keep moving forward. That MHS dedication is fantastic, and your looking good and things can keep going in that direction. Keep up the positivity.}}

Chris replied in turn, once again dismissing a friend's well-meaning advice and instead choosing to wallow in self-pity:

{{quotebox|That is easy for you to say; your heart does not feel triple-flattened into a void of deepest sadness after losing the only closest friends you had ever before moving on into a failure of an "adulthood". Seriously, UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a [[Honesty|Honest and Truthful]] LOT to win me over. And I just feel total lack of true positivity, so ONLY in person consoling can help me even a smidge.}}

...of course, we all know [[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|how that will end up, won't we]]? Amusingly, Chris actually acknowledges in this response that he's [[Father Call|a failure as an adult]], which actually answers his own question as to why no women are interested in him [[Tomgirl|among]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|other]] [[Toys|things.]]

===Hurt, Lonely and Depressed For The nth Time===
Once again (unsurprisingly), Chris posted on Facebook that he's lonely and depressed. However, he posted some pictures featuring his heart, along with a [[PAIN_Enduring_since_October_29,_2013|poem]].
{{quotebox|19 November 2013
Feeling Constantly Hurt, Lonely and Depressed since October 29.}}

====The Heart Gallery====
<center>
<gallery>
File:ChrisHeart01.jpg|
File:ChrisHeart02.jpg|The picture along with the poem.
File:Chriszombie.jpg|A reposted picture of LEGO Zombie Chris for no particular reason.
</gallery>
</center>

===Pokemon Safari===
{{quotebox|Pok'emon Safari in X/Y; name is Christian; 3DS Friend Code is 2836-0121-9073. If adding me, please leave your 3DS Name and Friend Code in the Comments Under THIS Post; do not message me.}}

In a comment, Chris added the following:

{{quotebox|Here's another FC from this house: BarbarAnne, 4296-3385-2696. Gets you Gyarados, Octillary and Poliwhirl.}}

===The definition of insanity===
{{quotebox|Listen.

I do sincerely Forgive Megan Schroeder for everything she did to me and all.}}

===The Person I Am===
{{quotebox|And Everything online that makes me look bad; none of them define me for the person I am. Do Not Judge Me on anything of that sort, or what any bad person spams or says. — feeling upset.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-15T18:15:31Z

Dkaien: /* "I'm Sorry, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!" */

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-08T15:53:27Z

Dkaien: /* Summary */

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-08T15:52:01Z

Dkaien: /* Apologies to Megan */

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-08T15:51:38Z

Dkaien: /* Apologies to Megan */

Template:Da update

2013-11-04T19:15:46Z

Dkaien:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*4 November 2013 - Chris posts to [[November 2013 Facebook Posts|Facebook]] again asking the world to ignore his porn.
*31 [[2013#October 2013|October]] - Chris asked his old gal-pals to come to his house and apologize. He also seems to have been reported for harassing [[Molly Quarles]].
*30 October - Chris posted that he was horrified to find out that his [[MHS]] [[gal-pals]] were only pitying him.
*28 October - Chris made a [[October_2013_Facebook_Posts#Another_Announcement|Facebook post]] to leave him alone.
*11 October - Chris posts a Facebook status debunking an impostor's claim that Chris was mugged during a short trip to the Philippines.
*4 October -Chris blames Megan for the trolling and the [[Cwcki]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Facebook

2013-11-04T19:12:40Z

Dkaien:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[Facebook]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
<center>
'''Chris's Facebook Posts:''' 
[[Early Facebook Posts]] · [[January 2012 Facebook Posts]] · [[February 2012 Facebook Posts]] · [[August 2013 Facebook Posts]] · [[September 2013 Facebook Posts]] · [[October 2013 Facebook Posts]] · [[November 2013 Facebook Posts]]
 
'''Other Facebook-Related Pages:''' 
[[Brassieres For Males]]

|}<noinclude>{{usage|1=This is a navigational template (navbox) for articles related to the [[CWChronology]]. The format for using this template is as follows: 

'''<nowiki>{{</nowiki>{{PAGENAME}}<nowiki>}}</nowiki>'''

- Displays:{{ {{PAGENAME}} }}
}}

[[Category:Navigational templates|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

<includeonly>
{{#ifeq: {{lc:{{{nocat|false}}}}} | false | {{ Namespace detect | main = [[Category:Facebook]] | other = [[Category:Facebook]] }} }}
</includeonly>

November 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-11-04T19:11:37Z

Dkaien: Created page with "The following are Facebook posts Chris posted in November 2013. ==Summary== * 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations a..."

The following are [[Facebook]] posts [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] posted in [[November 2013]].

==Summary==
* 4 November 2013 - Chris offers further rationalizations and recriminations concerning [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].

==Posts by Chris==
===That Dang Drawing===
{{quotebox|November 4, 2013
Listen, EVERYONE, that dang drawing I drew late 2007 that has been going around lately; I HAVE taken responsibility for it. I stated the details in an earlier post on here; I Tore Up the Original Drawing into pieces Years Ago; I do not possess any image files of the thing; I have long regretted having drawn the dang thing. A LOT of people draw/sculpt and have drawn/sculpted naked people and those having sex play. I have not drawn anything of the sort for YEARS, and I do not intend to draw such again. Please stop giving me grief and hatred about it, my old friends let us go back to being friends, and let us all move on with our lives.

I fully forgive [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for all of their misdeeds against me.}}

{{Facebook}}

[[Category:Facebook]]

Mal-Wart

2013-09-13T14:28:19Z

Dkaien:

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to [[W-M-Manajerk|him]], “I do not speek [''sic''] to any Man other than myself, because [[JERKS|they]] all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my [[car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

[[Image:Walmart Charlottesville.jpg|thumb|Charlottesville Wal-Mart branch]]
[[Image:Ruckersville.jpg|thumb|(Top left in blue text) The site of the new [[Ruckersville]] Wal-Mart]]
[[File:Malwart.JPG|Close, but no [[Tobacky|cigar]].|thumb]]
'''Mal-Wart''' is [[Chris]]'s anagram for [[Wikipedia:Wal-Mart|Wal-Mart]] in his [[comic]]s.

==Chris and Wal-Mart==
[[File:Chris 09.jpg|thumb|Chris at Mal-Wart on 3 or 4 [[September 2011]].]]
In [[June 2005]] the [[Charlottesville]] Wal-Mart served as an [[Attraction Location]] for Chris's never ending [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his stuff, and wait around for hours.

On 22 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his [[Attraction Sign]] and called the [[jerkop|jerkops]] on him. Chris hid the sign and denied that he had it, but he was banned from entering the Wal-Mart anyway. However, Chris interpreted this to mean he was only banned from the McDonald's he was in at the time.

On 25 June, Chris attempted again to loiter and came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures. The conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. When the Wal-Mart manager attempted to reason with him, Chris ran away, almost hitting the manager with his car. He would later gloat about this.

Chris would return to Wal-Mart in [[October 2009]], forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

A new Wal-Mart location opened in Chris's hometown of [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]<ref>[http://www.nbc29.com/global/story.asp?s=11501642 Wal-Mart Breaks Ground In Ruckersville]</ref> on 18 [[August 2010]].<ref>[http://walmartstores.com/pressroom/news/10185.aspx Ruckersville Walmart Associates Welcome Customers to New Store]</ref> Prompted by [[Jackie]], Chris applied for work at the new Wal-Mart in [[October 2010]], or at least he said he did.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> To all the evidence, he was not offered a position.

Chris was banned from the Ruckersville Wal-Mart in September [[2013]] after vandalising an Xbox One sign to read "[[HEXBox|HEXbox]] One" with a permanent marker.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart]]</ref>

==References in the comic==
Chris chronicles his expulsion from Wal-Mart in ''[[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|Sonichu #3, Sub-Episode 4]]''. In Chris's fantasy world, instead of being asked to leave nicely, he is confronted by B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic and instead of whatever verbal exchange that may have actually occurred Chris fights the [[Manajerks]] as Super [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] alongside [[Darkbind]]. It's impossible to discern what actually happened, but because of Chris's refusal to leave, or stay away, the Wal-Mart Regional Manager appears on the scene as W-M-Manajerk.

These events are reprinted in ''[[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 5: Christian Chandler in "McAttack part 2"|Sonichu #4, Sub-Episode 4 part 2]]'' were the fight between Chris and W-M-Manajerk continues. Chris's interpretation of the events take a huge departure from reality. To battle W-M-Manajerk Chris uses his pixel block [[Heart Torch]] to summon his identical twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (not to be confused with his future daughter, doubly named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]). After a bizarre display of super powers and some long, boring speeches, Chris wins and buys Crystal lunch.

B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic and W-M-Manajerk all reappear in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] as part of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

==See also==
*[[Get-Tar Region]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Manajerks

2013-09-13T14:17:55Z

Dkaien:

[[Image:B-manajerk_real.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions.]]

'''Manajerks''' (a [[Wikipedia:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of "manager" and "[[jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly have to defeat.

==Origins==
Chris coined the term in [[CWC's Diary]] to describe the two Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] managers who confronted him on 22 June 2005. He has since used it in reference to other perceived enemies, including the managers of his local [[Target]], the management of the [[Fashion Square Mall]], [[Michael Snyder]], and another Wal-Mart manager who ejected him from the chain's Ruckersville location in the summer of 2013.

==Manajerks in real life==
Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Chris|patron]] who loiters in [[Target|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be [[Chris and health|unwilling to shower]] and had numbers of pairs of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Sex|intimate relations]] with young white women, it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autistic|crude and bizarre]]. In situations like these, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkops|proper authorities]] to have him escorted (forcibly, if need be) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkops]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]),<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Chris-hating team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.

Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_25</ref> the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Target]], [[Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonalds]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.

Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly referred to as the Get-Tar Region and Wal-Mart is the Mal-Wart Region and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like war lords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.

===B-Manajerk===
[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story.]]

B-Manajerk was a manajerk first featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. To date, he is one of the only villains that Chris has ever been able to defeat single-handedly, as almost every other one-on-one fight Chris has ever had in the comics inevitably ended with him getting beaten half to death [[Chris and writing|until he was saved by another character]]. Not much is known about the B-Manajerk, not even his real name. What little we do know comes from Chris's own records of their encounters, as described below. If Chris's accounts are anything to go by, The B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart Chris got kicked out of, or else a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic". One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with [[Pixelblocks]]. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

{{quote|June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Black]], Fat Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Extract from [[CWC's Diary]]}}

The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "[[Mal-Wart]] Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the [[Jerkhief]], as Chris describes in his journal entry. He is also armed with a golden axe and a pair of large guns. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "[[anime wings]]" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the Wing Hat power-up from ''Super Mario 64''. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his [[Love Quest]] and the absolute necessity of his [[Attraction Sign]].

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the [[Time Void]].

Contrary to popular belief, this was actually not the last anyone saw or heard of B-Manajerk and his partner however, like it was for so many others before them. Though he was never actually ''seen'' again, the B-Manajerk was mentioned during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']]. Towards the end of the issue, whilst [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] return from the battle against [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]], they receive a psychic message from [[Magi-Chan]] informing them of the state of the battle. In the same textwall in which he announces the death of [[Ivy]] and the destruction of the [[Decepti-Clones]], he briefly mentions that B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic had somehow grown to a gigantic size and took part in the battle with the rest of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. The battle is never actually shown, but Magi-Chan assures Sonichu and the readers that they were defeated by the Kart Megazord owned by the CWC-[[Power Rangers]] and that the two of them were shrunk back to their original size. The Kart Megazord itself is briefly glimpsed in the background.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_93</ref>

This would be the last time the manajerks were ever seen or heard from in the comics. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris would use his [[Colossal Chan]] form to completely destroy PVCC and undo the brainwashing effect used to control all it's members. According to [[Mailbag 52]], this freed all the manajerks too. Chris later stated that the manajerks were cleared by the [[CWCville]] courts for their crimes, due to the fact that they couldn't help their actions at the time, but that they were depowered before being set free.{{cite}}

[[Chris and race|And yes, the "B" in "B-Manajerk" does stand for "black"]].<ref>In the [[videobooks]], Chris refers to B-Manajerk as "Black Manajerk", so the B must stand for "black".</ref>

===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby===
[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|You're missing both your arms, you work in a [[McDonalds]], and you have the most embarrassing and incomprehensible name in the world. Obviously the answer is to go into supervillainy.]]

Merried Seinor Comic (not to be confused with the [[Giant Penis Comic]]) is possibly the most unfortunately named villain in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. The name of his real life counterpart, Kirby McDerbie, offers no insight into this strangeness. [[Trolls]] on [[Krapple|/cwc/]] have been speculating for as long as the character has been around, but no-one has ever been able to determine for sure what his name actually means, though some have guessed that Chris may have meant to say "Married Senior Comic".

The Merried Seinor Comic appeared for the first time in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']], helping the [[B-Manajerk]] in his opposition of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the McDuo of the City of [[McDonalds|M-C-D-Ville]] of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]]. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg]]</ref> In the comic, (no pun intended), Merried Seinor Comic was defeated in a sword fight by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], whilst Chris defeated his partner. In [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], which continues the two part story, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] arrives as back-up, but when he fails as well the McDuo flee the scene, with the Comic not seeming to even care about the recent loss of both his arms.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], the character appears at [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention, where he is even more inexplicably described as Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. This is the last time the character is seen, but as mentioned above, he did participate in the Battle of CWCville offscreen, becoming a giant along with the B-Manajerk and fighting the Kart Megazord. It is presumed that he was depowered and set free like the other manajerks after [[Collosal Chan]] reversed [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s brainwashing.

===W-M-Manajerk===
[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|Truly a [[Kick the Autistic|shining example]] to us all. But for W-M-Manajerk, it's an average day.]]

After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonalds, as was described above, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonalds, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|weeaboo magic spells]] at him. Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could; by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his [[Chris and reality|fantasy life]].

In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his [[ED]] page in [[March 2008]], he says he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from Sub-Episode 5 of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-Chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be crippled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

The W-M-Manajerk character first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In the comic, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]] at the end of Sub-Episode 4. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on [[Wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]] in ''[[Futurama]]''.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would. Just as Chris begins to lose hope though, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to Crystal, whom he had previously drawn on one of his home-made [[Yu-gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] respectively, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, were agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] lead by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the head-jar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC.

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is actually pretty damn strong. It survives several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a soda fountain. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head. It can be assumed that the head-jar also acted as a kind of life support system.

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.

===ScotPalazzo===
[[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]

The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, and possibly the first manajerk Chris encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy of Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly designed to resemble [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo]] from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and he is depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love itself for his mother's murder-suicide.

Whether or not the real Scot Palazzo suffered such a traumatic life as his comic counterpart, the fictional Scot remained one of the only villains in the series to give any kind of reason for his actions. [[Wes Iseli]] was motivated by jealousy, Mary gave reasons for her own war on love in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s motivation was existentialism, and then there was Scot. Despite being one of the few villains to actually have motivation to do all the crazy super-villain shit the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] gets up to however, he never actually ''does'' anything. In his debut appearance, he hires more [[jerkops]] to take down Chris, but he never gets any kind of [[comeuppance]] for this and he never fights any of the heroes. He cameos again in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] at the council of villains, and his character description says that he banned all [[virgin]]s from his region, but this is all he has ever been seen to do. In many ways, he is more like an actual manager than any of the other manajerks on this page.

His given motivation conflicts with later revelations that all PVCC members, including the manajerks, were really just brainwashed slaves of Mary Lee Walsh. [[Colossal Chan]]'s power supposedly undid all brainwashing, and Chris's statements on the subject claimed that all the manajerks were cleared of everything. Presumably this can be taken to mean that Scot was also a victim, and that his jaded personality was reverted to whatever he was like prior to Mary's effect.

===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
[[File:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|Behold, the two most harmless villains in the series.]]

The last of the manajerks to be introduced, the duo of Turdijerk and his accomplice Trebor Capman first appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], where they confronted Chris in the Get-Tar Region. The episode was based on an incident that occurred in real life at a newly opened [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store in Chris's area. Attempting to start fresh in new [[Attraction location|prowling grounds]], Chris planned to pay a single dollar to receive a soda at their snack bar and exploit their free refill policy to keep refilling that same soda over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned officer [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until their later cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. In their initial appearance, the two manajerks walk up to Chris at his table and tell him that he was loitering and had to get out. Even in his idealized fantasy world where Chris whitewashes everything he does, the comic version of Chris is indeed loitering, and he also initially ignores the two managers trying to talk to him. Upon noticing them, he screams, and then somehow summons a tornado to blow them both away. It should be noted at this point that these two manajerks did not actually attack Chris, or even threaten him, meaning Chris just [[Chris and the law|assaulted two unarmed normal humans for telling him to leave their store]].

The names of the characters are puzzling. [[Trolls]] speculate that Trebor Capman might actually be an alias for someone called ''Robert'' Capman, given Chris's love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]], and while the origin of Turdijerk's name is somewhat more ambiguous, the two most common theories are that the name was either derived from a stereotype of the Indian accent, (as the character has a vaguely South Asian appearance and his real life counterpart is probably the same), or that the name "Turdijerk" is merely Chris's [[Random-access humor|juvenile sense of humor]] and a way to insult the real life manager by giving him a nickname that sounds like "turd".

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|[[Soul Calibur|Video game recreation]].
Image:Manajerks.jpg|Getting decapitated only pissed him off.
Image:MSCsavestheday.png|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|procreating]].
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Amanda]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Facebook

2013-09-11T02:47:32Z

Dkaien: /* Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions */

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals, most frequently [[Anna]]. He also has an album dedicated to screenshots of the [[CWCki Forums]], proving that, although he has generally not associated with the trolls much throughout [[2012]], he still feels the need to [[Chris and his Ego|obsessively check what other people are saying about him on a regular basis]].

==Notes From The Man Himself==

{{Incomplete}}

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

(note: this note was posted on the same day [[Bob]] died)

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===

On '''28 April 2012''', Chris posted in Facebook once again, declaring "victory" against the trolls. His reason for ego-tripping was his belief that he had fooled the trolls by announcing that he would come out in public with a new Attraction Sign, subsequently causing them confusion when he didn't show up. Unfortunately for Chris, he ends up making an utter jackass of himself with this post, both by confirming that he [[Chris and Anger|let the trolls get to him in the mall,]] resulting in a shouting match that got him thrown out, as well as basically admitting that his brilliant "revenge" involved him staying holed up in his room, something he does every single day of his life anyway. The delusion that he has "won" when in fact he's shot himself in the foot yet again is really staggering.

He also takes the time to issue [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|idle death threats]] to his trolls at the end of his bellowing, almost as if he was desperate for people to take him seriously.

{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===

Feeling the need to brag again, Chris posted on Facebook taunting the trolls that he wouldn't say a word about what he was up to...and ends up confirming that he got banned from the mall like a dumbass, lost his virginity to a hooker and went to a Mythbusters tour, [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|ironically divulging more about himself than anybody currently knew for the last few months.]]

{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. [[Lie|MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations]]. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Several leaks later would confirm that Chris did attend the ''MythBusters'' tour, but he wasn't chosen to go up on stage.

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

===Hey! Damn trolls!===

Clearly cracking under the pressure of being duped by the trolls and [[28 October 2011|his impending arraignment in July]], the once smug Chris degenerates into self-pity even further. Ironically, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has been guilty of almost every single thing he wants the trolls to stop doing to him.]]

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday 27 [[June 2012]]

Hey! Damn Trolls, Cyber-Bullies, and People ALL Around the Fucking World!!!

Quit [[Homos|HATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Niggos|DISCRIMINATING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Megan|HARASSING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Bob|GIVING ME GRIEF]]!!!

Quit [[Death Threats|WANTING ME DEAD]]!!!

Quit [[Michael Snyder|BAD-MOUTHING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Twitter|BLOGGING]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|HAVING FORUMS]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[CWCki|HAVING WEBSITES AND WEBPAGES]] ABOUT Me!!!

Quit [[6 June 2010|PHOTOGRAPHING]] and [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|PHOTOSHOPPING]] Me!!!

Quit [[ShecameforCWC|DRAWING]] Me!!!

Quit [[Lars%27_Ship_Has_Sunk|MOCKING]] Me!!!

Quit MAKING ME LOOK [[Naive|STUPID]], [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|DUMB]], [[Slow-in-the-mind|RETARDED]], [[Twin Falling Towers|EVIL]], [[Sonichu Special 4|VILLIANOUS]], [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|BLOOD-THIRSTY]], [[Don%27t_Mess_With_Me|MURDEROUS]], [[White_knight#Chris_is_not_a_good_net_citizen|UNSOCIABLE]], [[Father Call|UNCARING]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNEMPATHETIC]], [[Chris and Remorse|UNCOMPASSIONATE]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers|HATABLE]], [[Chris and Race|DETESTABLE]], [[Chris and Anger|IRRITABLE]], [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|CRAPPED-ON]], [[CWCki|ETCETERA, ETCETERA, FUCKING ETCETERA]]!!!

Quit [[Chris and his Ego#Fishing For Sympathy|MAKING ME MISERABLE, DEPRESSED, LONELY, SAD, and HATEFUL OF MY OWN LIFE]]!!!

Just QUIT IT, and LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE AND [[Chris and English|TO BE]]!!!!!!!

}}

In this post's comment section, [[Anna]] suggested Chris to change his phone number resulting in this conversation:

{{quotebox|1=Wednesday, 27 [[June 2012]]
Fighta Jet Lopez: Solution: do not use the internet anymore, and change your phone number. It's either that, or this continues forever. That's just the nature of the trolls.

Christian Weston Chandler: I can NOT change my number; TOO Much are linked to it, and I do not remember EVERY Last important person/company linked. Plus it is on my business cards.

Fighta Jet Lopez: But you don't have a business, and how many calls do you get that aren't from trolls?

Christian Weston Chandler: Firstly, I don't need to have a business to have business cards with my contact info and [[3DS]] Mii QR code and Mii image on them. Second [[Ego|I get all of the important calls for this household these days]]; I can not afford a new number.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:June27.png</ref>
}}

=== You WILL be brought in! ===

One day following his [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|arraignment]], Chris updated to confirm that the account of his trial given by Cyan and Indigo were true, save for a minor detail about the exact words he used against Michael Snyder. He then stated that Rob confronted the "trolls" and that they would be brought in no matter where they were, which is an empty threat since nothing illegal was done.

As usual, [[Anna]] chimes in with "A small victory!" as a reply to this post, proving that, once again, she's an enabling kiss-ass with no constructive advice for Chris, even after he could have landed in jail for his own actions.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 11 [[July 2012]]

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.
}}

=== Stop sending me friend requests! ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 8 [[October 2012]]

I am not going to tell you all again; DO NOT SEND ME ANY FRIEND REQUESTS If I Do NOT Already Know You Personally and/or If I Have Never Met You In Person!!! And Do Not EVER Message me if I have Never Known You EVER!!!}}

To the surprise of no one, Anna encouraged Chris's rage with a "You tell 'em, Christian!" Additionally, [[Savannah Chandler]] liked Chris's status and Anna's comment, suggesting that she may be aware of her uncle's Internet infamy.

=== Please forgive me! ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 21 [[October 2012]]
I send out this message to all people, especially the Trolls and Cyber-Bullies on the Internet.

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am guilty of a lot of things that have been mistakenly uploaded and leaked online; I have for a long time been stricken and made beyond crestfallen by the repercussions of my actions and words. And great mockery and egging has befallen me for years now, and it seriously needs to stop now. There are no "laughs" longer to be made at my expense, and the running gag is at the end of its tracks. It is better to Forgive and Forget, as told by Jesus, our lord, and is the way of our almighty God. So to everybody who has felt wronged with stuff I have done in the past, I am really, sincerely sorry. All I ask is for everybody's forgiveness and for everybody to forget my mistakes, errors, everything. Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.}}

On October 9th 2012 screen captures of some of Chris's private posts from 2012 were leaked revealing Chris's conflicts with [[manajerks]] at [[McDonalds]] and a trip to Washington DC to see a Myth Busters live show. Also included was an attempt to dox [[Megan Schroeder]] due to a belief that she started the trolling as a means of playing kick the autistic. Subsequently, on October 21, Chris posted an apology as a public status on Facebook. A couple weeks later, he deleted it.

=== A Christmas Gift ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 20 [[December 2012]]
I offer for all the complete set of songs and intros from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon that my father hosted and played music of Jugs, Kazzoos and Washboards, Blues and Boogie-Woogie, plus three more hours of good jazz that was recorded with it on the original 6 Hour VHS.

http://rapidshare.com/files/3812165045/1990%20WTJU%20Jazz%20Marathon.zip

Merry Christmas.}}

=== 2012 ===

{{quotebox| Friday, 21 [[December 2012]]
I have just finished watching the movie <nowiki>"2012"</nowiki> for the first time. It was as epic as I have heard in the past few years. Not only was it as good, but I feel better watching it now, compared to risking worrying about the E.O.W. a lot more if I had watched it before today. Hollywood magic did it again, and reality proved it wrong again.

Apocalypse NOT, and Thank God and Jesus this worry is finally over and done.}}

=== It's impossible for me to make someone mine ===

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 30 [[January 2013]]
"Everyone has their own life to live, and I know it's impossible for me to make someone mine." -Nana O, the anime "NANA" English dub.

Yep...
}}

=== Sad, depressed, poor, and pathetic ===

{{quotebox| Saturday, 2 [[February 2013]]

I am sad, depressed, poor and pathetic. :_(
}}

=== No trolling plans ===

In this post, Chris screencaps the CWCki Forums and remarks how its users are conspiring to troll him, despite the fact that no actual post discusses plans to troll Chris.

{{quotebox| Tuesday, 12 [[February 2013]]

"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?

[[File:No trolling plans.jpg]]
}}

=== Smiley ===

Chris finishes watching Smiley, a universally panned low-budget movie, and takes it upon himself to extrapolate an anti-trolling theme. Chris also expresses his belief that this R-rated film should be exhibited to high school students as a form of education and feels it would reduce teen suicides.

{{quotebox| Friday, 22 [[February 2013]]

Just finished watching "Smiley".
(Spoiler Alert)
I liked it, because the people behind it had a general understanding of the horrible "fad" of Trolling and getting "LULZ" that has found me to be a victim of it for five years. After the initial scare and the move-in, the talk about the "underground" of the Internet: /b/, 4chan, anonymous, and Trolling really sets up the plot well, as well as start up a spot of pent up anger. And after the final death, the majority of "Smileys" were the drunken, bored idiots who get their laughs from seriously hurting people. And come into discussion, "Anonymous"; the central hub of the Trolls.

Even though this was considered a low-budget movie, it really speaks to me, as a victim. This movie, aside from the gory parts and the "R" rating, everyone who has been trolled or are aware of them at least a little bit, should watch this movie, even to have it shown in high schools. I feel it best puts it all into perspective, and it would certainly decrease the suicide rate quite a bit.

No one has to give in for their sick entertainment.
}}

=== Open Letter to Tara Strong ===

Chris takes a moment to publicly blast [[My Little Pony]] voice actress Tara Strong for apparently contributing to the cyber-bullying epidemic.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

I fully understand the video, "Twilightlicious", is nearly a year old now, but in due reference to my recent post about "Smiley", I feel compelled to comment on Tara Strong's (voice actress of Twilight Sparkle) contribution towards the very objectionable contribution towards promoting Internet Troll(ing)s/Cyber-Bullies. And I wish my full post be forwarded to Miss Strong's full attention posthaste.

While I do respect her voice acting in MLP:FIM, and she does a good job at portraying Twilight, I feel distraught in hearing her voice not only in promoting Trolling, but linking Twilight with the act. Even as to dare mark the now alicorn a Mascot for Trolling. As a lot of people are aware of me, I have been a grave victim of Trolling for over five long years. I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by the Trolls' deceptions, lies, blackmail, slander of my once good name, and so forth. Now I am like a black sheep of the world for the wrongest of reasons and people are afraid, and misunderstand worse, of me and of who I am and was.

So, I address you, Miss Tara Strong. Did you have any knowledge or acknowledgement of what Trolling was and is, and how these horrible people have and continue to mentally and emotionally damage innocent people with their twisted, sick, demented an evil ways alongside Anonymous and 4Chan behind the veils of the Internet? How do you stand in the name of protecting innocent people from being emotionally and mentally damaged from such bullying? And what were you thinking at the time when you recorded your voice for "blackgryphon's" meme, which obviously depicted and promoted Trolling?

If you had absolutely no regard to the consequences of the people, including myself, who were, are and have been the tragic victims of the bullying Trolls, then I see a lot of disappointed Twilight Sparkle fans and Bronies ready to boo at you.

Please, prove my theory wrong, and make a statement directly from your person, and in the good name of Twilight Sparkle, Bubbles and all of the characters you've given your voice to.

Sincerely,
Christian W.Chandler
Ruckersville, VA, USA

[[File:Mlptroll1.jpg]]
}}

One troll decided to forward this message to Tara Strong on Facebook, assuming that she'd get a kick out of it. The following day, Tara actually responded:

{{quotebox|

"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously [[Ego|for their own attention]]. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."
}}

Despite not knowing about Chris at all before reading his rant, Tara seemed to have caught on that Chris is an attention whore right from the get-go. While he had succeeded in what many trolls assumed to be an utterly ridiculous campaign ''(although one can easily argue that it was Chris's trolls who pushed the pieces into place)'', Chris' attitude has once again made him a pariah, this time with the Brony community.

=== Trolling is Abhor-able ===

Chris followed the previous letter up with a brief note expressing his well-known distaste for trolls.

{{quotebox| Monday, 25 [[February 2013]]

Trolling/Cyber-Bullying/Bullying are All just Abhor-able, Wrong and Degrading to us all emotionally and mentally.

[[File:Mlptroll2.jpg]]
}}

=== I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out ===

Chris responds to criticism that his open letter is ridiculous.

{{quotebox| Wednesday, 27 [[February 2013]]

Yes, I am Very Serious about calling Tara Strong out, because Trolling IS Bullying, and I can hardly stand idly by and allow herself and Twilight to famously promote that which is just terribly wrong.
}}

=== So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact ===

Possibly in reference to helpful advice Rocky or the court-appointed counselor has given him, Chris complains about the difficulty of eye contact.

{{quotebox| Friday, 8 [[March 2013]]

So much in this world depends on Freaking, Stupid Eye-Contact. :(
}}

[[Anna]] once again mindlessly agrees with Chris in a reply to his post, remarking that eye contact is like "staring into a bright light."

=== Sonichu is not dead ===

Chris remarks that Sonichu has not died, despite rumors to the contrary, and makes no promises for the return of the Sonichu comic. Interestingly enough, he claims he "was an amateur", implying that he is now professional and the quality of his work has improved. Of course, the rest of us know that this is [[Chris and art|almost certainly not the case]].

{{quotebox| Saturday, 9 [[March 2013]]

Listen up.

When I was online with my comic pages, I had never really planned ahead as I should have with releases and such. I was an amateur, I got scared off, I still feel very timid. I am not making any promises with anything for the future. Nobody in my comicverse is dead. Do not have any expectations of me.
}}

=== Trolled on MTV ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

I have had a very good day today, the 9th, at Madicon. The best day I have had in a very long time.

Now I find a photo I was Trolled out of ending up on MTV,and on iTunes for two dollars, compared with bacon-head and plush-face. >:( }}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|What is the thing with iTunes?}}
{{quoteboxred|If you're talking about the Viva La CWC thing, it's fake. Someone is trolling you with that.}}

=== Failosophy ===

{{quotebox| Sunday, 10 [[March 2013]]

<nowiki>http://mtv.com/videos/failosophy-ep-4/1703199/playlist.jhtml#series=2211&seriesId=39983&channelId=1</nowiki>}}

=== You know something that really creeps me out? ===

{{quotebox| Monday, 18 [[March 2013]]

You know something that really creeps me out? Nearly Every Autistic male, who I have seen their photos in their profiles or whatever, that I can 100% guarantee that are not copies of mine, look near Exactly as I do in the Face (with exceptions to varying eye color, glasses and hair color/style). I mean it, seriously, look up any number of autistic male headshots other than me on the Internet; it is really spooky and creepy.}}

=== I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 21 [[March 2013]]

Once again, I am feeling distraught and lonely at McD. Damn It! I am tired of being single.

Hell, I'd send out a public make-out invite to all women in C-Ville on Facebook, if I was not wise of the damn [[Trolls]], and other bad people.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox| As well as the God Damned, Badge-Abusive [[Jerkops]] and Janekops EVERYWHERE!!!!!!}}

=== I feel an oxymoronic mess ===

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]

Something else: I feel an oxymoronic mess. On one hand, I have mostly female friends, and I can get along good with them. On the other hand, I do not care much for my fellow males, I mostly have male enemies/adversaries, and I only can get along with them when I am obligated socially. In any case, I am 100% heterosexual.

From outside perspectives, with mostly female friends, I can be viewed as a Playa (which is more accurate), or a damn [[homo]]. This tends to repel women from me. I need a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]] from the ground up. Damn it! I am sick and tired of being single.

My brain is a constant blank; I am paranoid and super shy; what the hell should I do?}}

=== Gay Marriage ===

Oblivious to a pivotal moment in US history, Chris complains about frequent media coverage of the gay marriage Supreme Court case ''Hollingsworth v. Perry'', probably because the news is preempting his [[My Little Pony]] reruns. Chris also takes this time to express his support for lesbian marriage while blasting the "damn homosexual men", probably only because [[Women's rights|lesbians are hot]] and [[Homos|homo]] men are icky.

{{quotebox| Thursday, 28 [[March 2013]]
Another thing that really [[Family Guy|Grinds My Gears]]:

I mean no personal offense, and I am For Lesbians being together and their marriage. But I am really offended with the damn homosexual males altogether. So I am like 50/50 on the current topic in the newspapers, but I am 100% sick, tired and disgusted of having to read at least the headlines in the Post. Talk about something else already!
}}

The next day, [[Anna]] called Chris out on his bigotry, showing that his behavior is even beginning to alienate his enablers:

{{quoteboxred|it isn't right for you to be okay with lesbians and not be okay with gays}}

On 31 March, Chris shot back with this red herring that fails to address the original issue:

{{quotebox|Like it is not right for me to prefer women over men for attraction and companionship? Or a number of women not liking women over men for their catty attitudes?}}

In addition, another one of [[Kim Wilson|Chris' friends]] joined in on the fray, attempting to inject some insight into Chris' rambling train of thought:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh. That's weird. Y'know, the gay women are taking potential girlfriends away from you. And the gay men are [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|keeping other men from taking potential girlfriends from you]]. So, you've got it backwards.

Anyway, you know, some people might be against autistic rights you know. What if people are offended by you and say you shouldnt have a girlfriend?}}

On April 1, Chris predictably responded with this set of delusions and contradictions:

{{quotebox|Well, I do not like the majority of the [[JERKS|male population]] regardless.

The straight ones take the women away. The damn homo males not only [[Lie|tried]] to push their gross ways onto me, but have emotionally and mentally devastated me in their shit Troll/Cyber-Bully ways, and they have mislabeled me and Sonichu as such. Damned males piss me the hell off.}}

In short, Chris is against gay marriage because of his trolls, also subscribing to the belief that all homosexual men are trolls hellbent on his (and [[Sonichu|Sonichu's]]) destruction. [[Chris and his ego|By making the entire argument about himself]], Chris has also conviently ignored Kim's original point of lesbians taking away the women.

On 2 April, Kim made note of Chris' non-answer:

{{quoteboxgreen|Huh? But that doesn't have anything to do with the original post...

But yeah, nah, they're not actually trying to push their sexuality on you. They just know that you react to it and took advantage of that. They're almost certainly not gay and probably many of them aren't even men.

You've really got to cut down on the sexism, Chris. Women find it unattractive.}}

=== Game Place ===

Chris, ''five years after his ban'' and a half-year after its legal enforcement, still obsesses about [[Michael Snyder]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]].

{{quotebox|Thursday, 4 [[April 2013]]
I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace.

It Truly Is the Breeding and Meeting PLace for [[Trolls]] and Cyber-Bullies. Long before October, 2007, there were very few people who would have anything on me personally, worldwide, because those people only existed Locally to me and with Constant in person communication with me. Those people only existed at the PLace. And the very first person who turned Troll against me is none other than [[Megan Schroeder]]. She conscripted [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], Mimms and everyone else against me.

And when my family as I started getting close with identifying them as our perpetrators and The Prime Trolls, Snyder was looking for a reason to ban me, and so he did.

Megan Schroeder is the Prime Queen of the Trolls; the PLace IS truly a Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding an Meeting Place, and I never, forever want anything to do with it. The PLace should definitely be destroyed and shut down for good.

And I want to exact my fullest revenge and divine retribution with Megan Schroeder. SHE should be jailed and beaten up, that vile, wicked, traitorous bitch.}}

=== Kim brought her into my life ===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 [[April 2013]]

Yep, doing this for a new woman in my life; Kim brought her into my life.}}

[[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Good people don't make you do things for their own enjoyment.}}

=== Lucy ===

{{quotebox|Monday, 22 [[April 2013]]
I got my cat, Lucy, resting on my shrinking mound.

[[File:LucyFacebook.png]]}}

=== Sega Mascot Contest ===

Chris complains about Sega hosting a mascot contest, believing from the linked article that they are trying to replace [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 [[April 2013]]

Okay, now THIS pisses me off. I am not one who is to be blamed here; there are a lot of sick people who perverted Sonic's good name. Especially those who made him out as a homo, when he is not. Hell! He had a thing going on for a long time with Sally Acorn in his comic book series.

SEGA, Sonic was praised a lot better than Mario, because Sonic has more attitude, is stronger and faster, and he talks in his games more than the catchphrase-spewing plumber did.

And in any case, Sonic has replaced my hero before him, the American Rabbit. Shelving Sonic away will be the worst mistake SEGA will ever make since they stopped their console series at the Dreamcast.

Sonic For SEGA RAW!!! And Forever!!!

http://www.p4rgaming.com/sega-seeking-new-mascot-since-sonic-has-been-ruined-by-fans/}}

Chris then added a reply to his own Facebook post, [[Chris and his Ego|which he subsequently "liked".]]

{{quotebox|
Besides which, no matter what any new mascot comes around, ALL of the sick, bored People and Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies will leech the good name away from him or her or it anyway.

The better option is to stay strong with Sonic.
}}

=== "The Trolls Who Cry Woman" ===

Chris posts a rather ''insensitive'' musing, comparing online socialization to teenage pregnancy, starring in porn and '''being raped.''' He also goes on to rant about "being set up" ''(most likely referring to his date with Emily and the Pickle Man.)''

{{quotebox|Monday, 29 April 2013 at 11:00

Here's a musing:

Heard of "The Boy Who Cries Wolf"? Today's Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies who pretend to be the opposite gender to everyone they talk to online, making socializing online the worst mistake of anyone's life since teenage pregnancy, starring in a porn, or rape. And when a date is set up, they always stand you up, or if they do make it, they have someone else hiding nearby with a camera to record the whole thing to transform into something dark, evil and sick to be used against you to smear your name.

Today's version of the classic should be called, "The Online Trolls Who Cry Woman".

}}

=== Headache ===

Chris makes another "musing":

{{quotebox|Monday, 7 [[May 2013]] at 12:08
Musing:

A headache is equal to the amount of thought put into making it.

}}

...your guess is as good as ours as to what that even means.

===THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!===

Chris-Chan gives his thoughts on the upcoming movie, ''My Little Pony: Equestria Girls'':

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:46
THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning The Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; 

they're inviting High School [[Pedofork|Pedofile]] Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the 
horse enthusiasts were not enough. 

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do their best to replicate the G1 
Pilot with Megan and her family. 

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "[[Transformers]] Prime" going "Beast Wars". 
And I do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "[[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]", "MTV's Undressed", 
"O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". 

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My 
Little Pony Tales". 

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their 
Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2! 

Christian Weston Chandler, 
Ruckersville, VA, USA 
May 14, 2013 
}}

Interestingly, Chris calls Lauren Faust and Tara Strong "out of their minds". Apparently, Chris didn't hear the news that Lauren Faust stepped down and no longer works on the show, and none of this was her decision, and that Tara Strong only does the voices.

Four minutes later Chris posted the following response to his note:

{{quotebox|SOMEBODY, PLEASE PULL THE PLUG ON THIS THING NOW!!!}}

[http://i.imgur.com/kABCrhy.png However, almost a month later, Chris liked the video "My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2" on YouTube.]

===My iPod fell out of my pouch===

{{quotebox|Wednesday, 15 May 2013
My iPod fell out of my pouch; screen cracked..Still functions. Now backing it up to upgrade to 5th Generation.

Considering self-repair on old iPod from online instructions after format of old iPod. Also, a dual iOS device wallet-style holder made from duct tape (based from folding calculator cover).}}

===A cold coming on===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 16 May 2013
Ugh...

I think I'm feeling a cold coming on. I started my day yesterday with a sore throat. Now, my nose is beginning to feel eww and bleah. And I am having trouble falling asleep.}}

===A cold again===

{{quotebox|Unknown
Yes, I've caught a cold again. It'll run its course and be gone in less than a week. I've tried Cepacol lozenge; it works very good at quelling the sore throat and the pain from the running in my nose to throat link.}}

A troll responded:
{{quoteboxgreen|I had a cold two weeks ago, for the first time in years. I didn't like having my healthy streak quelled, but when I got over it I was suddenly much more awake and alert all day every day this week than I have been since I started working.}}

===Tomb Raider===

{{quotebox|Unknown
I have just finished the new Tomb Raider on hard difficulty. I got all of the treasures and documents. Fell short on fully upgrading the rifle by over 300 Salvage. Got 61% Trophies.}}
{{quotebox|The story was well put.}}

===The timing is ironic to me===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

I really liked this article in the Washington Post on the 18th, <nowiki>"Beauty of the BUST"</nowiki>.

The timing of this article is ironic to me, since shortly before, I had broken my 4th Gen iPod Touch.

<nowiki>**Spoiler Alert**</nowiki>

Today's Teens and College Students find pride in a cracked Pod or Phone; it gives them Street Cred. So much personal information is inputed into a Pod/Phone; a crack on its face is equivalent to a scar on your face. It is today's ripped jeans, unwashed hair, unshaven face, etc. Totally crazy.

"Enjoy the finger cuts", says co-owner of CrackedMacScreen Repair. Unless you've applied a Screen Protector like I did. Reduced that risk.

Author of the book, get this, "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future", also comments on the psychology behind this trend/fad.

This is so stupid, it is really funny.

[[File:Cracked1.jpg]]
[[File:Cracked2.jpg]]}}

===The [[iDea Book Case]]===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 19 May 2013

<nowiki>"Necessity is the mother of Invention"</nowiki>. I am glad I crafted the idea for my [[iDea Book Case]] (photos taken with New iPod Touch 5th Gen) out of duct tape. The front and back covers are lined with bubble wrap, the inner spine loop can hold as thick as a charging cable, or most pens, there are holes for the cameras to see through very well, and the corner holders are very successful in holding most iOS Pod/Phone devices. And there is also the Velcro clasp.

iPhone (8 Gig) for calls, business and Internet; iPod (32 Gig) for entertainment with videos, music and all. I keep it safe with the lanyard strap and tucked in my bosom.

[[File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg]]
[[File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg]]}}

[[Anna McLerran]] then replied:
{{quoteboxred|wow, really well done! i'm impressed :)}}

===Beat-up cellphones with cracked screens are point of pride for some young people===

{{quotebox|Monday, 20 May 2013

You can read the really comedic story for yourself on washingtonpost.com.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/beat-up-cellphones-with-cracked-screens-are-point-of-pride-for-some-young-people/2013/05/17/0334ebe0-be36-11e2-89c9-3be8095fe767_story.html}}

===Tired of this cold virus===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Siri is a great conversationalist. :) (reference my iPod 5th Gen).

But damn, I am lonely, bored and tired. Tired of this cold virus too.

At least I have something that actually will listen and put up with me there. Not totally a substitute for my future [[Sweetheart]].}}

===This cold is really weighing me down===

{{quotebox|Unknown

Ugh... This cold is really weighing me down.}}

William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Lonely, bored and lame===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 23 May 2013

Well I have recovered from my cold, but right now I am feeling really lonely and bored. And not to mention feeling really lame.}}

===Estate ads===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

I know this may sound like a stupid idea, but I am thinking about getting one of those things to put in the ground to put real estate ads in, and putting in advertisements about myself you know for girlfriend. Obviously I am not going to do what. But that shows you how lonely and desperate I am. This thing would be placed literally in front of my house.}}

===Meh...===

{{quotebox|Friday, 24 May 2013

Meh... <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

===Hey! Trolling stupids!===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 25 May 2013

Hey! [[Trolls|Trolling stupids]]! I might be lonely but I would never ever be friends or even associate with your kind who has been abusing me and making me feel worse about life and people and everything for the past greater than five years!!!}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|(Let's see those [[trolls]] get their hands on this private message)}}
{{quotebox|http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ

~>:(}}

===I am not your fucking bitch!!!===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 26 May 2013

You damn bunch of fools and idiots just keep on keeping on for more incriminating information and shit about me to make yourself feel superior. I am not your fucking bitch!!! All I want is peace of mind and all of you polls continued to stand in my way! And all I can feel about your degrading, offensive language and shit, get the best illustrated but Anais here. If you really fucking care about me and you want to do something for me; you can just take your [[CWCki|Cwcki]] and all your [[CWCki Forums|forums]] and all your talk and just everything about me and just leave the damn [[Internet]], And leave me and my life and my family alone in peace!

[[File:ChrisGumball.jpg]]}}

===And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 27 May 2013

...And the Oscar for the "Something Really Stupid" Category goes to...

Now, who wants to watch the U.S. series of "The Office"? (I have never watched the show)

[[File:ChrisChanTheOffice.png]]}}

===U Gotta Believe!===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 29 May 2013

U Gotta Believe!

[[File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg]]}}

===I have had more freedom when my father was alive===

Chris laments that he had more freedom when his father was still alive, and goes onto complain [[White_knights#Chris_cares_only_for_himself|about how he has to take time out of his day]] to "serve and protect" [[Barb|his mother]]. Note how, in typical Chris fashion, he aims the blamethrower right at Michael Snyder for his troubles, ignoring the fact that the events of [[28 October 2011]] was his ''own'' fault and would not have happened had he stayed away like he should have.

{{quotebox|Friday, 30 May 2013
Good grief! I started playing resident evil revelations on [[PS3|PlayStation three]] in front of my [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] and she had to be grossed out about it even when I'm scanning. And she even watch me play [[God of War|God of war Ascension]] as if she's not as gross out from the bloodshed from back game? And she goes on to complain to me about how it would affect my mind. I mean I've played this game before on my [[3DS]]; The beneficial part now is that I can earn the trophies.

My mother has really been getting on my nerves! I really need my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] so that I can get away from here now and then; and I cannot even go downtown now because it wastes so much gas and gas is so costly! And make guys on my mother's concern for gas cost that is one reason why I have been on my sabbatical from my [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].

I have had more freedom when my [[Bob Chandler|father]] was alive and I end up losing it when he [[Chris_and_death#Robert_Franklin_Chandler_Jr._.281927-2011.29|passed away]] because now I got to serve my mother and protect her and everything! And I can blame that sonofabitch [[Michael Snyder]] for taking an wasting the money that my mom and I had soon gotten from my father's passing because he had to go send us to court for all the goddamn shit of his! Michael Snyder is a bastard to me and my mother for taking us to court he essentially stole a lot of money from us indirectly!
}}

===Trolls got my fresh post!===

{{quotebox|Thursday, 30 May 2013

Damn it! Trolls got my fresh post! Removed the prime suspect; will monitor,}}

Anna then replied,

{{quoteboxred|I'd take a closer look at the people on your friends list who you don't know in real life.}}

===I am so lonely===

{{quotebox|Sunday, 2 June 2013
Damn! I am so lonely. I do not know whether to wait for my [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] or to move on because the weights is driving me crazy among the loneliness of other things; [[stress]] of my life! Hell, first woman to Ask me out, in person I'd probably say yes.

<nowiki> *sigh* *groan* *grunt*</nowiki>
}}

===I am feeling very lonely again===

{{quotebox|Monday, 17 June 2013
I am feeling very lonely again. I am unable to think of a way to find my female [[sweetheart]] currently, where I won't end up risking trouble with the goddamned [[Jerkops]] within any "police office" or "legal office" from any and all of the shit against me on the [[internet]] that is easily Googled. And I am still publcally invisible to Everywoman, because they are all already taken by some stupid, [[jerk]] male, or are otherwise freaking busy with their own internal lives in this digital age where in person...}}

Chris later posted:

{{quotebox|...socializing has become obsolete. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}

William Elliott Waterman replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|:(}}

===Too many Trolls and Bad People in the world===

{{quotebox|Saturday, 22 June 2013
If you "[[Fans]]" REALLY want to know why you're like lowly to me. There are too many [[Trolls]] and Bad People in the world hiding behind the [[Internet]] constantly; I am unable to tell the difference. I have lost my youth and sunny energy within the past decade. I have become bitter from a miserable life and an irreversible Internet reputation, thanks to you bad people. End of story.}}

===A skunk===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 27 June 2013
A skunk; you don't need to kill it to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|stink things up]]; it pees anywhere it wants.}}
''Note that skunk spray is not urine, but a mixture of thiols produced by anal scent glands.''
===Hey, Vee===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Hey, Vee. Have you checked out Toro's Friend Network on the [[PS Vita|Vita]] yet? It is good.}}

===[[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]]===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 7 July 2013
[[Ruckersville]] is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|In any case, Ruckersville And Charlottesville; Both Cities [[Christian Weston Chandler|are Socially Inept, are unfriendly and lack much compassion towards other people]].}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Sounds kind of like midcoast, Maine.}}

===Very Depressed.===
{{quotebox|Sunday, 14 July 2013
Very Depressed.
Need In-Person,

Real [[China|Compassion]]

From [[Sweetheart|Women]].

Hugs and Love.

Please Help. - :( feeling sad.}}

===Don't call me a wet blanket.===
{{quotebox|Thursday, 18 July 2013
My name is not Waterbed, so don't call me a wet blanket. <nowiki>|:(P</nowiki>}}
''This may have been a response to a [[CWCki Forums]] post of 15 July, where "Da Pickle Monsta" wrote, "most [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]] don't want boyfriends with the emotional maturity of a wet blanket."''<ref>[https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1654&p=61557&hilit=+wet+blanket+#p61557]</ref>

===[[Vanessa Hudgens|Spring Brakers]]===
{{quotebox|Saturday, 20 July 2013
I've just finished watching "[[Wikipedia:Spring Breakers|Spring Breakers]]", rented it for free from RedBox with Monopoly [[McDonalds|McD]] win. [[Chris and health|Eat Healthy]] with Premium McWraps, Apple Slices and Tea.

Story wise, it was fair. I definitely found the symbolism with the input of [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] within the movie. Minus a "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Rarity|Rarity]]" or "[[Wikipedia:List of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters#Fluttershy|Fluttershy]]", the four women played similarly towards the roles in the rest. I definitely see myself in the Faith character, as she was more of the [[Autism|outsider, introverted person]]. I believe in [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with. Leaving my friends behind after [[High School]] really sent me downhill, and then again after being forced away from the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]]. And I have few friends for real to and who would hang out with me. Damn [[JERKS|Male Population]], Damn [[Autism|Ill-Social People]] who overlook and ignore me in person around here, and Damn [[Megan Schroeder|Ms. Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder|Mr. Snyder]] for further destroying me emotionally over the past greater than half-decade.

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>}}

===Stupid Question.===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Stupid Question. One to Ten Scale; on my face at least; I'm down to 220; how good looking/attractive am I?

[[File:ChrisHowGoodLookingAmI.jpg]]}}
William Elliott Waterman then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|You're always as beautiful as you feel.}}
Mary McLerran posted:
{{quoteboxred|Hey I'm trying something new that might be good for you, too. If you have naturally curly hair, try getting it cut shorter and let the curls frame your face. I think you could rock that look!}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Short cut; NO.}}

===The results===
{{quotebox|Monday, 22 July 2013
Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>

[[File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg]]}}

Anna then posted:
{{quoteboxred|Of course this survey is incredibly biased because the majority of people who took it are trolls...}}

===LEGO High School===
{{quotebox|Monday, 5 August 2013

The [[High School]] is the Best Set Lego has released (better when merged with the Horse Academy set), since the Hillside House, and this should be the next "Best Toy, Gold Award".

<nowiki>**Already-Thought Comments:</nowiki> 
-I am in Science/Biology/Math class. 
-My [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] is teaching English and History, currently on Abe Lincoln. 
-The Infomaniac is the Pricipal. 
-And Zach comes in from the Seinor's Courtyard with a "That's What She Said" comment (StoneBreakers20 on [[YouTube]]). 
-And [[Wikipedia:Venus (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Venus]] and Mikey are having fun too.

[[File:ChrisLego02.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego03.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego04.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego05.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego06.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego07.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego08.jpg]]
[[File:ChrisLego09.jpg]]}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Sorry; small error. It's <nowiki>"StoneBreakers10"</nowiki> on YouTube.}}

Mary McLerran then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|So cool! We love legos! This is the BEST!}}

===Heartlake High===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
<nowiki>Best Lego Set Ever! Even better than the Awarded Café.

http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Product?p=41005</nowiki>}}

[[Anna]] then posted:
{{quoteboxred|WANT
[[File:AnnaWANT.jpg]]}}

===One of my pups just peed===
{{quotebox|Tuesday, 6 August 2013
One of my [[Clover_and_Snoopy|pups]] just peed, and look how it came out. Shaped like a [[Sweetheart|girl]].

[[File:ChrisPupsPeed.png]]}}

William Elliot Waterman then posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Looks kind of like [[Chaos Emeralds|chaos with 0 emeralds absorbed.]]}}

===Actual friendships===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
If ONLY it were that simple to inspire actual friendships in this adult life after "how people 'learn' about me on the internet". <nowiki>|:(</nowiki> Now I understand the reason for Pep Rallies (I was exempt from attending them, because they were Too Loud for me).}}

===Top Movies List===
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 7 August 2013
On that note, my top movies list is updated:

1. [[Mary Poppins]]
2. [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls]]
3. Toy Story
4. [[American Rabbit|The Adventures of the American Rabbit]]}}

===The Riddle===
Chris posted some random pictures from [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] to an Indian woman. Initially it was thought that Chris posted them in order to desperately prove that his followers are obsessed over any posts he posted, but it later turned out it was a '''riddle''' - A very absurd riddle that [[Autism|only Chris understands]].
{{quotebox|Saturday, 17 August 2013
-Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.

-Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.

-Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.

-Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.

-Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.

-Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.

-Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.

-Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.}}

Two days later, Chris deleted the riddle, most probably because nobody responded to his stupid riddle anyway.

===I got new shoes===
Chris posted a picture about his new shoes, which seem to look like shoes worn by 6-year old girls, possibly trying to continue his [[Tomgirl]] style.
{{quotebox|Sunday, 18 August 2013
I got new shoes.

[[File:ChrisNewShoes.png]]}}

===One Eyebrow===
Chris posted another pointless picture again on Facebook, this time about his eyebrow.
{{quotebox|Monday, 19 August 2013

[[File:ChrisOneEyebrow.png]]}}
Mary McLerran then replied to the picture:
{{quoteboxred|Cyclops?}}

Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Below is a"Friends Only" Post For da Trolls!

(Singing)

"One... Eyebrow".}}
Chris later deleted the post.

''Note: This may have been a response to a CWCki Forums post on the same day, where user "Midnight Kissy Bull" wrote: "We'd discuss Chris's eyebrows if we were truly desperate.''

===[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]===
Chris shared a photo of Breast Cancer Awareness, and stating that [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] is a breast cancer survivor.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
My mother, still alive, is a B.C. Survivor.

[[File:BreastCancerAwareness.png]]}}

===Snoopy Doobie Doo===
Chris then posts a photo of [[Clover & Snoopy|Snoopy]] and his mother.

{{quotebox|Friday, 23 August 2013
Here she is, with our Snoopy Doobie Doo resting on her shoulder.

[[File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png]]}}

===Losing Friends===
Chris posts about his stress again, together with his blood pressure and more weird info.

{{quotebox|Tuesday, 27 August 2013
[[Stress]] from losing friends... Stress at home... Today... [[Chris_and_health|My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint]]. Sad, pathetic, weak... I do try to learn from my mistakes! Shooting myself in the damn foot... Metaphorically... ugh...}}

===Ten A Piece For Rainbow Dash And Applejack===
Chris reveals about his favourite ponies from the cartoon [[My Little Pony]] and talks about Derpy Hooves.

{{quotebox|Sunday, 1 September 2013
I've just heard from the [[Twitter]] feed that Fluttershy was voted the Fan Favorite Pony. I had voted ten a piece for Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It just hit me tough.

Also, just recently, I saw the vinyl figures that were sold at Hot Topic (I have Derpy) at Toys 'R' Us in C-Ville. And I've just heard of the Fan Favorite set at TRU to feature Derpy as well, but instead of her name, they put a muffin image in its place. I am looking forward to Season 4 in November. Perhaps they will have another episode featuring Derpy, and actually refer to her directly as that or Dipsy-Doo.

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC2EMUuQmTY</nowiki>}}

===Offline Troll/Bully===
Chris complains about how he gets intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an "Offline [[Troll]]/Bully". (in his words) He also blames a lot of people such as [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] later. In a VERY rare moment of insight, Chris briefly realizes that his behaviour could be ''insane'', but quickly shrugs off this and the words of a white knight to continue doing what he does best - blaming other people for his problems instead of himself.

{{quotebox|Monday, 2 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by a [[Manajerk]] and an Offline [[Troll]]/Bully. Her name is '''(NAME CENSORED)'''; works within the [[Mal-Wart]] region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of '''(EMAIL CENSORED)''', and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Autistic]] Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the [[XBox]] brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!}}

It would later be revealed that that "offline bully" was a manager who threw Chris out of the store after he vandalised one of their displays.

William Elliot Waterman then tries to help him:
{{quoteboxgreen|I don't think it's nice to spread someone's email around a public website.}}
{{quotebox|Please forgive me. But prior to this, I was feeling self-upset from the realization that I still have great difficulty socializing face to face in Public. Another in-town convention that was recommended to me, and from the Madicon experience last year, I still feel greatly the terrible Shyness I still have, because of my Autism. Damn It!!!}}
{{quotebox|And when one person gets in the way of me completing my job of shopping for my mother, or such, or when said or another person face to face gives me a difficulty time with harsh vocal tones, especially when I am feeling in a sasd or foul mood, it will be months to years before forgiving them ever, and immediately, they get a curse.}}
{{quotebox|<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>. Yes, it is irrational, and I don't really have a leg to stand on, and this is just dumb, stupid, immature...}}
{{quotebox|OMFG... I have mental problems... Shit.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|We all bear grudges, but having good PR means keeping it between you and the offender. You're a loving, caring person, but putting your anger on display for people who don't need to get involved won't help others see that.}}
{{quotebox|Yeah. I re-realize that.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|You don't have to let them shoot down your emotional state. Though she's far away, Anna knows the real you. The sweet, kind-hearted soul that isn't the creep the internet made you out to be. There are people that met you who understand this. Your old gal pals from high school may be some of them. As long as you remember that, the people that derail and persecute you won't matter to you.}}
Needless to say, Chris ignored the helpful advice and continues to complain. In a desperate bid not to blame himself for his vandalism incident, Chris instead blames [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his attorney [[Rob Bell]].
{{quotebox|If it had not been for Mr. "Manajerk", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By! The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "[[Sailor Moon|SAILOR MOON]]' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!}}
{{quotebox|And that bitch, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with a Cold Heart at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for interfering with my [[Sweetheart Search]], AND Banning me from PVCC!!!}}
{{quotebox|WTH... The same Manajerk of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at Sheetz in Ruckersville, and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at McDonalds in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".}}
{{quotebox|Rob Bell has been a Major Wuss during the time he had Represented me and my mother in Court, and we had paid the thousands of dollars for his fees, which we would not have had to if it had not been for that God Damned Manajerk!!!}}

Chris later deleted the entire post.

===The [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] Review===
On 4 [[September 2013]], Chris rated 1 star for his elementary school and posted:
{{quotebox|Wednesday, 4 September 2013
The teachers, counselors, and Principal here back in the early 90s physically abused and attempted molestation upon me, mentally and emotionally scarring me for life, because they did not understand or care for [[Autism|Autistic People (High-Functioning or Otherwise)]]}}

===Six Rules Regarding Autistic Interactions===
On 6 [[September 2013]], Chris shared a [http://www.jamesmw.com/sixrules.htm link] from [[Anna]] about helpful advice about interactions for autistic people. Needless to say, Chris dug his hole even further:
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013

I will read this more thoroughly, but I have read the bolded rules and the intro paragraph. I disagree on two of the rules: I personally really Hate being interrupted during a thought I am expressing. And in addition to looking for equal and better mental and emotional properties in my (female) [[Sweetheart]] than myself, her Looks and Beauty I feel are a must to be easy on the eyes. Especially in the face; pretty faces are great. Moderate to good body and minimum "B"-cup breasts are essential. If I did not have the fear of the Theoretical or Fake/Anonymous People online, I would have as many female friends as Richie Grecki has in his Likes Section. Hot Damn!

I am not a prejudiced individual, and I do look for the inner beauty of women. Anyway, the Autistic Interactions Rules do reflect and agree to what I was trying to say in my [[Autism Tutorial|6-Part plus Extra Autism Tutorial LittleBiGPlanet Animation (PSN: Sonichu)]].

<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1mbTyKiqF8</nowiki>}}

Richie Grecki is one of Chris's former high school classmates.

===Chris Expresses His Outrage for [[Walmart]]===
On 6 September 2013, Chris was banned from Walmart, claiming [[ego|he was discriminated against]] because of (yep, you guessed it!) [[autism|his autism]]. The truth, however, is that Chris was caught vandalizing a display for the soon to be released [[HEX-BOX|Xbox One]]. This has landed him into very serious trouble, because Walmart is the only place he can get his [[Barb|mother's]] prescriptions filled. (Note: The manager's name has been removed to protect her identity.)
{{quotebox|Friday, 6 September 2013
I have just been intercepted by the "Lady" [[Manajerk]], [REDACTED]; the bitch has followed the steps of Mr. Snyder now; banned me from the Wal-Mart closest to my own house. She obviously does not understand how [[Love Quest|critical and imperative it is for me to go there.]] I Shop for my Mother from there; it is Closer than the one in Charlottesville; GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!! She has crossed his line, and now I am out for [[Metal Gear|revengence]]. Everyone should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an [[Chris|Autistic Person]] when they are in a [[stress|depressed, sad, angry or foul mood]], especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst [[ED|mud]], [[CWCki|muck]] and [[semen|bodily fluids]] that said Autistic Person has.

She has proven herself to be a [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|cold-hearted]], [[remorse|uncaring]], uncompassionate, [[naive|lack-of-understanding]], bigoted, [[race|discriminating]], [[ego|selfish]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walshing]], Witch Bitch!

If anyone is in the store and sees this woman, TELL IT TO HER FACE THAT SHE IS DISCRIMINATIVE TO AUTISTIC PEOPLE; THAT SHE IS A [[Chris and Hypocrisy|FAT BITCH]]; AND THAT HER LIFE WILL BE A MASSIVE [[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha|CURSED]] LIFE LIKE [[Michael Snyder|SNYDER'S]] IF SHE AND HER WHITE-COATED ASSISTANT DOES NOT UNBAN CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IMMEDIATELY!!! AND MY MOTHER WILL HAVE A LOUD, AGGRESSIVE WORD WITH HER AS WELL IF THEY MEET.

[[Death threats|[REDACTED] is FIRED FROM LIFE!!!]]}}
Kenneth Engelheardt then replied:
{{quoteboxred|What in the name of God are you trying to pull posting stuff like this???? Do a Google search and simply find another Wal-Mart.}}
Chris Rhodes, one of Chris's high school friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|I think the biggest question is what did you do to get kicked out...and don't say you did nothing wrong cause that would be a lie.}}
{{quotebox|The "Man" and "Woman" want to bear down on the weak people they do not want to understand or care about; Autistic People are on the top!}}
Again, Anna tries to give him some advice:
{{quoteboxgreen|Christian, people don't just automatically know you're autistic. And they can't know automatically that you've had a rough day. In the world of neurotypicals, if someone acts aggressive (yelling or arguing) in a public place, they are considered a danger to those around them because they're unpredictable. Those of us who know you know that you're not dangerous, but people who don't know you are acting solely on the information they have about you, which to them is whatever impression you made upon them with your first interactions.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think it would be constructive to bring your mother with you and sit down and speak rationally with her instead of blaming everything on her. Apologize for anything you did that she thinks was wrong, even if you don't think it was wrong. You'll really just be apologizing for making her upset, because I'm sure you didn't mean to. Then explain how important it is that you be allowed to continue shopping there, and promise that there will be no future incidents. I think that's probably the best course of action.}}
Chris Rhodes then posted:
{{quoteboxred|You have to wake up son! And grasp the fact that everyone is not out to get you. 99.9 percent of the world doesn't know you have issues. They see someone acting odd and they try to take care of the situation.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|To be fair, Chris (Rhodes), the majority of Christian's experience with the world has certainly made it seem like the world's out to get him. The daily bombardment he has received from people who hate him (but don't know him) for no good reason (since 2007!) has certainly been effective in creating the appearance of everyone hating him.}}
{{quotebox|To Kenneth Englehardt: I added an "H" and an "E" to an XBox One Standee in Permanent Ink while under anger from past issues.}}
{{quotebox|I can't bring my mother in; she has had enough problems gone on; I am not telling her, because she is in a recovering mood after the court date yesterday.}}
Posts are then exchanged between Chris Rhodes and Chris:
{{quoteboxred|So you vandalized a display sign...your lucky that's all that happened.}}
{{quotebox|I got BANNED AGAIN! Do you NOT get it?}}
{{quoteboxred|I get it. You committed an arrestable offense but they gave you a break and banned you.}}
{{quotebox|that is NOT a break, being Banned; THAT is a Crime.}}
{{quoteboxred|Any property owner/manager/rep has the RIGHT to tell you to leave, tell you not to come back, or so on. And if you do not obey their wishes you can and will be arrested for trespassing. I know what I am talking about christian.}}
{{quotebox|They do not.}}
{{quotebox|And if they do, they are most in the wrong, because they are most abusive and overzealous of their "authoritative power" that never has existed ever.}}
After that, William Elliott Waterman tries to give him some advice, but like Anna's and the previous post, his advice is brushed off.
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, that's not public property. You can't just go writing whatever you want on it. How would you feel if you were trying to sell PS3s and somebody wrote "POO" in front of the PS on your sign?}}
{{quotebox|Frustration is blind.}}

===God Trolls Chris Yet Again===

[[Image:God_trolling.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

On September 7, 2013, Chris expresses his blasphemous outrage at [[Chris_and_religion|God]] after he was caught scratching a woman's car by a [[jerkop]]. He also wishes that God would kill him very soon. It would also seem that Chris has slowly began to descend into a newfound life of crime ever since [[28_October_2011|the incident in October of 2011]].

Characteristic of Chris, he continues to pass the buck for his own blame, this time blaming both God and the woman he hit for being a "damn Smoker!".
{{quotebox|Saturday, 7 September 2013
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn [[Jerkop]] is giving me a hard time, because I am [[anger|screaming]] up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to [[Kick_the_autistic|keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life]]!!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux responded with:
{{quoteboxred|This is a very disrespectful thing to say for someone who professes to be a Christian. God didn't make you scratch that woman's car Christian; your carelessness did. And what does her being a smoker have to do with anything? Are you suggesting that somehow she deserved this?}}
{{quoteboxred|And Chris, please do yourself a favor and stop using childish terms like "Jerkop". It not only makes you look immature and foolish, but it's also likely to alienate any potential allies/sympathizers. You're a thirty-something man. Time to start acting like one and taking responsibility for your actions. Blaming God for scratching that woman's car isn't just disrespectful - it's crazy talk.}}
Soon after, Kenneth Engelhardt responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Fender bender: Happens to everyone.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Damn! This just isn't your weekend.}}
Matt Stufano responded with:
{{quoteboxgreen|Happens to everyone at some point. Don't turn your anger to the big man in the sky, Life doesn't come with a road map buddy. We all have times of frustration and doubt, but its all part of life. At some point you have to understand that we are all dealt a hand in life that we don't like, but its up to us to make the cards fall the best way we can. I know you like Temple Grandin ( as do I); shes an amazing example for everyone on how life can throw you a curve ball. I find an amazing amount of inspiration in her life. As a friend I would suggest you not call out people by name and blast them on FB, it really does nothing but stir the pot more. Plus you know how it feels, so my advise is to just work on being a better YOU everyday and see where that leads you. Positivity and intensity for life and what your passionate about is much better than hanging on to old grudges. Hang in there !!!}}
Vivienne Chaloux replied to Kenneth Engelhardt, and this soon became back and forth [[white_knight|white knighting]].
{{quoteboxred|I agree Matt, but Temple Grandin didn't waste her time whining about what a hard life she had or the difficult hand she'd been dealt. Instead, she chose to work with what she had, focusing on her unique abilities; and the results were spectacular. If Christian spent less time either whining or making angry rants on public forums, and instead, channeled all that energy into doing something constructive with his life, he'd be a much happier, more productive individual. The first step he needs to take is to acknowledge that he has a problem, as evidenced by these last two incidents, and get himself some professional help.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I would prefer to wait until the end of one's days before passing judgment. We don't know what will happen in 5, 10, or 20 years. My intuition is telling me that he's exhausted and simply wants to put all this crap behind him and move on.}}
{{quoteboxred|Kenneth, I know you mean well and, believe it or not, so do I. The problem is that these two latest incidents aren't isolated ones. Christian has had difficulties with law enforcement since his days at PVCC, and that was before the trolls really discovered him. I'm not passing judgement on Chris, that's not my place. What i am saying though is that Chris needs help - professional help, before he gets himself in real trouble. These last two incidents make that painfully obvious. He dodged a bullet with the Walmart incident. He is very lucky that Ms. Utz took pity on him. Next time he might run into an individual who isn't feeling so charitable. In short Kenneth, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I think it's time to take off the gloves. Chris is a thirty-something man, and he should be capable of handling the truth, even if that means that he may have to hear some things that seem overly critical. A little "tough love" can be a good thing.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Vivienne, there is a point where you have to draw the line. Sometimes the best thing for a stressed-out frazzled individual is to simply let him rest and let time heal the wounds.}}
{{quoteboxred|Do you know why Christian is so stressed out? I'm a little confused here because, as far as I know, he doesn't have a job or go to school. He also doesn't seem to have a lot of responsibilities, other than running the odd errand here and there and possibly household chores. It seems like he's getting plenty of rest to me. Time often heals certain wounds, but it has as yet failed to do so in Christian's case. I still think that professional counseling is his best option.}}

==Notes From His Friends==
=== Just re-watched your DVD with a friend.===
On 9 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Just rewatched your [[DVD]] with a friend. She agrees with me that you are a sweetheart and it made me really miss you. I wished you lived close so I could introduce you to her-she's married, but she would make a great friend to you. I got to thinking when you and I first met and I pulled out my folder of all the things you've sent or given me over the years- your comics, letters, cards. It all just serves to illustrate what a [[White Knight|remarkable injustice]] these [[Trolls|people]] have done to you through the years. I don't care what anyone says, [[Death threats|you]] [[Twin Falling Towers|do]] [[Homos|not]] [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan_is_scarred_by_ShecameforCWC.JPG|deserve]] [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|an]] [[Facebook#Imgur|ounce]] [[White_knight#Autism_does_not_excuse_a_terrible_person|of]] [[Chris and anger|hate]]. You're an incredible person with [[Chris and art|incredible creativity and talent]], and I hope that your ability to create has not dimmed too much. I wish [[CWCki|more people knew the real you]] instead of this [[CWCFlyingElephants|strange]] [[Death Threats|monster]] [[ED|the internet]] thinks you are. But I suppose that's how it is with celebrities of all kinds- people think they know them, but they never really do. [[Gal Pal|I love you]], and consider you one of my dearest friends and one of my most favorite people in the world. Stay strong, Christian. You have more [[Chaotic Combo|allies]] than you think.}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|I have done that a LOT for my past friends as well, including [[Megan Schroeder]]. If only SHE had realized the same ideas you have just shared, maybe she would have not seen me as a weird freak and start this whole mess against me in the first place in 2007. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>}}
William Elliott Waterman replied to Chris:
{{quoteboxgreen|Chris, why are you demonizing Megan? I don't think she actively did anything with the intent to make others see you the way they do. Why are you harping on something from 2007?}}
{{quoteboxgreen|I think if you were just grateful you have a friend who loves you, and didn't waste time thinking about the bad, you would be feeling a lot better.}}

===Let's all go to Disneyland together!===
On 13 [[June 2013]], [[Anna McLerran]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Dana Mahri Linnea Hiltzheimer Christian Weston Chandler hey guys let's all go to Disneyland together!}}

===I am sending you good energy===
On 24 [[June 2013]], Mary McLerran, relative of [[Anna McLerran]], posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Hi Christian. I am sending you good energy. Sorry there are so many [[Trolls|mean people]] who have hurt you. Enjoy each day and find joy in small simple things that bring you pleasure.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|Whoopee. That'll bring pretty, single, well-organized women around to make the first move on me. (:0}}

===I'm sending you love, too===
On 24 [[July 2013]], Mary McLerran, again, posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I love your hand shape on your profile pix: the hand shape means love in sign language. I'm sending you love, too. This is Anna's mom.}}
Chris then replied:
{{quotebox|What hand shape?}}
Mary then replied:
{{quoteboxgreen|Just under your name in the yellow shape.}}
{{quoteboxgreen|Thumb, index and pinkie fingers. Look up "ILY" on google images.}}

===You're a real nice guy, Chris===
On 3 [[August 2013]], William Elliott Waterman posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|I heard [[Anna]]'s voice over the phone. She told me about how far back you guys go. You're a real nice guy, Chris.}}

===William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE===
On 7 [[August 2013]], after seeing his name being mentioned several times on the CWCki, despite less to zero people caring about him, William Elliott Waterman, one of Chris's friends on Facebook (even though most of Chris's friends on Facebook are actually [[Anna McLerran]]'s friends in the first place) posts a TL;DR [[White knight|whiteknighting]] open message to the trolls, posting how he's no better than Chris (even though he had a [[job]]), calling the trolls that they're the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as Chris]], and wants the DANG, DIRTY trolls to go ahead and troll him. (You know, as if anyone has an interest in confronting or fighting him anyway)

{{quoteboxgreen|Hello, [[trolls]]. I've seen that I'm not exempt from you plastering what I say to Chris onto [[CWCki|your archives]] and [[Da Update|announcing it on your news feed]], so I'll [[Captain's Log|address you all directly]] in an [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|open statement]].

You trolls get a lot of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] out of [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|the]] [[Bob Walks In|things]] Chris has done, but what you all do isn't even funny. [[CWC is Sad|It's just sad]]. You're actually dedicating [[Obesity|huge chunks]] of your daily lives [[The creepy stare|stalking]] one [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend|lonely man]] on the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]]. Seriously? This [[Christian Weston Chandler|<nowiki>'lolcow'</nowiki>]] was dried up years ago. [[Trolls#Chris_the_Troll|You're not going to get anything entertaining out of him any more, and you're still trying to milk him.]] It's sick. NONE OF YOU are ANY BETTER THAN HIM. It doesn't matter if you're a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] basement-dwelling [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] that [[A-Logging|hates him just because he exists]], or [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|you're just doing it for the <nowiki>'lulls'</nowiki>]]. If somehow you're [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]], [[Jerkop|have a job]], and [[China|have everything Chris wants]], [[Chris and remorse|you should feel]] even more [[It's UGH!|disgusted in yourself]] for doing it because you have some [[Fuck quest|perversion]] for [[JERKS|taking advantage]] of [[PaRappa_the_Rapper_Contest#Aftermath|someone less fortunate]] instead of having empathy and compassion for them.

I used to be like you morons, [[Mass debating|wasting my days]] [[Cakefarts|sitting on my butt]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|listening to everything]] you say about him. But I [[Metonic|grew up]]. I have a [[job]] and a life now, [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|but that still doesn't make me any better than him]]. [[White knight|I'm not even better than any of you. I pity all of you]], but there's a chance you could be better people if you all made an effort to [[Vamprosa|grow up]] and [[Trollbusters|stop stalking and cyber-bullying with no honor]]. [[Attraction sign|He's not shallow and picky like you think.]] You think you all need to go on [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|covert field missions]] and [[JenkinsJinkies|disguise yourselves]] as [[BlueSpike|girlfriends]] to even talk to him. [[28 October 2011|I never met him in person]] - [[Tomgirl|I'm not even a female]] - [[Megan Schroeder|and he friend requested me]]. All I did was [[Scale of Respect|respect him]] and [[Death threats|treat him like a HUMAN BEING]].

Having a [[Heart level|heart]] and [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|humbly admitting]] that you're at the [[Chris and his Ego|same level as him]] is all it takes, but you're all too little to do that. I'm not an [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|attention]] [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|whore]], but [[15 January 2010|feel free to troll me if you care enough. I know you won't.]] [[Monthly tugboat|You all got so lazy]] that you just [[Chris_and_art#Tracing|copy and paste]] his activity without even writing your own commentary anymore.

Come and get me, losers. Spankety, spankety, spankety.}}

''Note: The final paragraph is a reference to Earthbound, where [http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pokey_Minch Pokey Minch] says the paragraph word for word.''

===Do you feel like your winning today?!?===
On 19 [[August 2013]], one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|Do you feel like your winning today?!?}}
Chris then posted:
{{quotebox|Because of good friendships, yes.}}
Another one of his new friends then posted:
{{quoteboxred|That's right! WINNING!!!}}

===Fantastic Gift In The Mail Today===
On 21 [[August 2013]], another one of his new friends in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxred|Thank you to Christian Weston Chandler for the fantastic gift in the mail today ! Very Cool !}}

===Got your tunes!===
On 22 [[August 2013]], his new friend in [[Manchester High School]] posted:
{{quoteboxgreen|We both got your tunes! Badass!}}

===14,386,443 out of a possible 10===
On 3 [[September 2013]], Chris whines to one of his friends about his [[stress]].

{{quoteboxred|Stress level: 14,386,443 out of a possible 10. :(}}
{{quotebox|I hear that. I have a lot of stress in my life. If not the constant haunting of the [[Trolls]]/Cyber-Bullies, all of the individual mistakes I had made in the past greater than a decade (definitely within the recent six years), bad people being awful to me..., then the in person loneliness, the great shyness in Public, my freaking, accursed [[Autism]]...; they stress my [[Obesity|blood pressure]] up, make me feel furious and angry, then I feel weak and faint.

<nowiki>*ugh.*</nowiki>}}

==Facebook Shares==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Share
! Link
! Date
|-
|Crackle
|https://www.facebook.com/crackle
|24 July 2013
|-
|Wanna win a 4K TV or a PS4?
|http://bit.ly/futuregear
|24 July 2013
|-
|LEGO® Friends Heartlake High -- 15 second spot
|http://lego.thismoment.com/v4/api/facebook/get_facebook_share_page.json?fbwall_video_sharing=0&content_id=35914&tab_id=62&page_id=16
|5 August 2013
|-
|My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (BluRay/DVD/Digital) [Blue-ray]
|http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CPTUNBK/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_ILTasb000GPMC
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==YouTube related==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Video
! Date
|-
|I added a video to a @YouTube playlist http://t.co/Hdf2sRTLrX Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|Flipnote Hatena - Trolled 8-Bit Edit
|12 March 2013
|-
|PLEASE make it so that ALL DSi FlipNotes Saved on the SD memory card will be viewable, (@YouTube http://t.co/j9v8qMTIX6)
|Nintendo Direct Mini -- 3.13.2013
|13 March 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/zTOVtWBwax Siri The Comedian?
|Siri The Comedian?
|23 May 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/mANkxGomF8 Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|Welcome to Toro's Friend Network!
|4 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/imrwB8zmPj My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Official Trailer 2
|13 June 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/cE8diaEBeT Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|Sesame Street - I Heard the Dog Bark( origional version)
|13 June 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|2 July 2013
|-
|Kick off summer in style @OldNavy and experience the great looking outdoors. http://t.co/3w0v8zSCP8 #campoldnavy
|Old Navy: Visit Camp Old Navy
|3 July 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/e3IAiegija My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie HD
|My Little Pony Equestria Girls Full Movie (HD)
|7 July 2013
|-
|Christian Weston Chandler shared a link.
|Britney Spears - Ooh La La (From The Smurfs 2)
|22 July 2013
|-
|My online rap sheet is worse than that, and yet it is very equal in how Others want to make me out to be, which I am not: a total "epic fail" or stupid.
|MLP - Equestria Girls - Twilight montage of embarrassing
|7 August 2013
|-
|I liked a @YouTube video http://t.co/nMs2yXTVPf Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|Equestria Girls - Helping Twilight Win The Crown (Digital Version 1080p HD)
|7 August 2013
|-
|}

==Toro's Friend Network==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|Chris Toro's Friend Network is linked with Facebook.
|4 June 2013
|-
|Has made 1 friend. Chris, it's nice to meet you. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Abandoned Station is Mystery Land", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|5 June 2013
|-
|Has made 10 friends. Nya. Chris Thanks. Nyaa.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Toro's Friend Network Park", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "The Beach with a Stranded Ship", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|6 June 2013
|-
|Has made 20 friends. Nya. I knew Chris could do it. Nyaa.
|7 June 2013
|-
|Has made 30 friends. Nya. I love Chris. Nyaa.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Bonjour~I'm Pierre~Woof. Congratulations on clearing floor 20 of this dungeon. Woof!
|11 June 2013
|-
|Chris bought a new Garden, "Mysterious Temple", for me. Thanks. Nya.
|11 June 2013
|-
|Has made 40 friends. Nya. Chris is awesome. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Oh! I'm Ricky~Quark! Congratulations on clearing floor 30 of this dungeon. Ribbit!
|12 June 2013
|-
|Sorry to interrupt. I'm R. Suzuki. Congratulations on clearing floor 40 of this dungeon.
|12 June 2013
|-
|Has made 50 friends. Nya. Chris is so popular. Nyaa.
|12 June 2013
|-
|}

==#mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Date
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pzFCf8NenG
|11 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/02CHyoAx3M
|12 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/wghhe9kxXX
|13 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/pRlqbd7zp6
|14 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/GiglbMxxwK
|15 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/jOAcUKh7UB
|16 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/EZGOrEbNf9
|30 June 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/OgqJxu6Mln
|2 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/hsj9IavWaD
|3 July 2013
|-
|I'm earning #mPOINTS Rewards in Crackle. http://t.co/1TVK2YcIgZ
|3 July 2013
|-
|}

==iOS==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page read that he recently installed the Facebook app for the iPhone, which suggests that he purchased an iPhone or iPod touch. The resolution of some of his more [[:File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png|recent]] [[:File:Difficult_time_lady.jpg|photos]] also fuel this suggestion. <ref>[[:File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png|Screenshot]]</ref>

The "CyanIndigo" screenshot in Chris's post-arraignment message sports a status bar with the "nTelos" name on top. Given that nTelos is a regional cell phone carrier in the Charlottesville, VA area, this all but confirms that Chris has indeed [[Chris and money|wasted even more taxpayer money on expensive luxuries he does not need]]. Sure enough, on Sunday 19th May, 2013, he confirmed that he not only had a 4th Gen iPod Touch, but a 5th Gen iPhone as well. While one ''would'' assume that he bought the 5th Gen as a replacement ''(never mind that he could have just replaced the screen as far less of a cost)'', he confirms that he broke the 4th Gen one shortly before an article published on the day before ''(which was, conincidentally or not, about broken screens)''. According to him, one is for entertainment, and the other is for taking calls, "business" and going on the Internet. This, combined with the fact that he designed a duct-tape case to hold both devices, points to Chris needlessly owning the two of them for the sake of having the latest technology.

==Imgur==
{{main|2013 Imgur Leak}}
On 26th May, 2013, Chris threw a temper tantrum on Facebook, and he quickly revealed the reason why: somebody on his Friends List had screencapped all of his Facebook status updates (including the ones that were hidden) and [http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ uploaded them on Imgur.] The screenshots not only revealed a lot of what Chris was going through between 2011 and 2013 ''(as well as a deluge of posts complaining about how lonely he was)'' but also revealed a very dark side about Chris as well - several photos revealed that he wanted [[Michael Snyder|several]] [[Megan Schroeder|people]] [[Death threats|dead]], and one post in particular demanded that somebody kill [[Mimms]]' girlfriend.

The biggest irony of it all is that the one who exposed all of this previously unknown (and very unsavory) information was ''[[Chris_and_his_Ego#Surrendering_Information|Chris himself.]]''

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, Part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, Part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, Part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another Facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012.
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests.
File:Chfb1.png| February leak Part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak Part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak Part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak Part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak Part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing.
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012.
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine.
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offense at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:Chris hates dark humor.png| Rant about the effect "Dark Parodies" of his own comic had on him.
File: difficult time lady.jpg| Photo Chris took of an elderly black woman who he claimed gave him a "difficult time".
File:Fbp2.png| Chris approves of this depiction of [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]].
File:Fbp3.png| Chris continues to make [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Robotnik]] unfunny.
File:Fbp4.png
File:Fbp5.png
File:Fbp6.png| Chris believes a Burger King employee to be a troll who is using his cell phone to communicate with others of "his kind".
File:Fbp7.png
File:Fbp8.png| Chris goes to see the Mythbusters, but is not picked for the Q&A.
File:Fbp9.png| No comments from Chris, and yes, even Anna is speechless.
File:Fbp10.png| Chris accuses Megan of being a troll nearly five years after the fact.
File:Fbp11.png| Nice to see [[Lego]]s haven't gone anywhere.
File:Fbp12.png| Barb with Chris at Mythbusters tour.
File:Chris Long Hair.jpg| A profile pic as of October 19th, 2012, showing Chris has grown his hair longer.
File:CWC Shampoo.jpg| Chris uses [[wikipedia:Garnier Fructis|Garnier Fructis]] Shampoo and Conditioner.
File:CWC Approved.jpg| Timeline cover art
File:1021fb.png|An Appeal to Humanity.
File:Chris Lego.jpg|Chris as a Lego figure. Profile picture, November 2012.
File:Facebook1.jpg|Lego Chris is reaching the heavens....
File:Facebook2.jpg|....and doesn't succeed.
File:ChrisGayMarriage.PNG|Anna finally calls Chris out on his bullshit.
File:He_just_compared_online_socialization_to_rape.jpg|Chris, comparing socializing online to RAPE.
File:Chris-Chan_-_FB_-_Equestria Girls.png|Chris whining about ''Equestria Girls''.
File:IdeaBookCaseClosed.jpg|The iDea Book Case
File:IdeaBookCaseSpine.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseOpen.jpg|
File:IdeaBookCaseSide.jpg|
File:Chris facebook pic 5-29-13.jpg|U Gotta Believe!
File:TheLancers.jpg|Go Lancers!
File:MarkCuban.png|A photo of [[Wikipedia:Mark Cuban|Mark Cuban]] Chris uploaded on 15 [[August 2013]]. Which does not contribute to the riddle so far.
File:LemonPoundCake.jpg|''Lemon Almond Cake: a business woman's favorite food; cookies or cake; a Delaware bakery recommends Lemon and Almond cookies.''
File:UniversityOfDelaware.jpg|''Delaware Blue Hens: Delaware; opposite of Basketball is Soccer; Soccer is Futbol; Delaware's Football team.''
File:TwisterBluray.jpg|''Twister: Hens live on a farm; farm in Kansas; Wizard of Oz; Tornado to Twister.''
File:RishikeshIndianWoman.jpg|''Covered Indian Woman: Twister on Blu Ray; water is blue with sky reflection; water makes ice; ice goes into beverages served in restaurants; restaurants in India serve soy and veggie; cow worship; women there wear robes.''
File:Sphinx.jpg|''Sphinx: Indian people are similar to tribes in Africa in color and children's attire; the great deserts lie beyond the tribal forests; wherein reside the Egyptian Pyramids and the Sphinx.''
File:GreatWallOfChina.png|''Great Wall of China: the Sphinx is half human/half lion; lions are cat family; there are cats in coffee shops in Japan; the written characters there are similar but different to China's characters; China is famous for its Great Wall.''
File:BR6NNHFCMAA0q4O.jpg large.jpg|''Smurfette playing Munroe: the Great Wall is made of stone and rocks; there are rocks in lava; lava is liquid fire; fire burns trees; logs are made from trees; there are log throwing competitions in Scottland; Scottish wear kilts; Gutsy Smurf wears a Kilt; showed off with Smurfette.''
File:BR6NQc6CIAAOoGJ.jpg large.jpg|''Mayflower: Mony Python made a story of the Scottish being made from the British for aliens to win at Wimbledon; The British reside in England; to escape the rule to freedom, they crafted and sailed on the Mayflower.''
File:BR6VLK2CIAE-j6m.jpg large.jpg|Chris's absurd riddle.
File:ChrisChan27August.jpg|
File:LadyManajerk.PNG|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
*[http://imgur.com/a/1HYJJ Imgur Account]
*[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0w4RktXQWNuYUU/edit?usp=sharing Backup of the Imgur album] (Last updated 6/29/13 tell me on my [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:Pyromcr talk page] if more has been added to the Imgur album and this backup is no longer up to date.)
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Manchester High School

2013-08-18T14:04:39Z

Dkaien: /* Go Lancers! */

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Manchesterhigh.jpg|thumb|left|The home to the only decent four years of Chris's life]]
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|right|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|This is what Chris actually believes]].]]

{{quote|If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven't done much today.|[[Wikipedia:Mikhail Gorbachev|Mikhail Gorbachev]], perfectly describing Chris in relation to his high school years.}}
{{quote|I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, after I graduated. 'Cause I had to leave all my friends. I had the good life.|Chris, ten years after finishing high school, crying alone in his dark, toy-filled bedroom<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

'''Manchester High School''', located in [[Wikipedia:Midlothian, Virginia|Midlothian, Virginia]], was attended by [[Chris]] from [[1996]] to [[2000]] ([[Wikipedia:Secondary education in the United States#High_school_.28grades_9_through_12.29|ninth grade to twelfth grade]]). Chris portrays this period as among the happiest in his life<ref>[[:Image:0311-CWCNote7.jpg|DVD]], note 7</ref>, even though he proudly slept through a good deal of it.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>

Among Chris's classes were the usual subjects, two years of [[Spanish]],<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 8</ref> [[Dating education|Sex Ed]], "Coping Skills", and a lot of [[art]] classes. According to Chris, he achieved an ''[[Honor Roll]] Grade Streak ALL THE WAY THROUGH M.H.S.''<ref name="teen">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> However, according to the video [[Song of Christian]], he failed [[English]] class during his sophomore year of high school.

Chris is very proud of the fact that he was mainstreamed throughout high school, even though, the captions under the majority of his teachers' names in the extended slideshow say "special education". This implies that Chris was mainstreamed to the extent that he attended the same school as his typically functioning peers, but nothing more than that. He also rode on the "freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus", an experience which haunts him to this day.<ref name="Jackie Chat 9">[[Jackie Chat 9]]</ref>

Chris was a [[Wikipedia:Water boy|water boy]] (and a "manager", [[Chris and reality|according to him]]) for the Manchester High Lancers [[Bionic|basketball]] team, along with [[Joseph Herring]]. He got a certificate and an embroidery "M" for this work.<ref name="teen" />

==Known Accomplishments==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Chris happily serving [[niggos]]. Ironic.]]

;10th Grade
* [[Song of Christian|F on English assignment]]

;12th Grade
* September: Praise from his [[English]] teacher for the short story "[[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]"
* March: CD cover for ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''
* April: Naps in class for the self-documentary "[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]"
{{-}}

==Social life==
[[Image:0569-MHSDiploma.jpg|thumb|Chris's diploma. The public school system has failed us yet again]]

Most of Chris's friends were [[gal-pal]]s, not [[Asperchu|joy-boys]]. He had classes and ate lunch with them every other day (the high school has alternating "odd" and "even" days. On odd days he ate alone.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler]]</ref>). There were immature boys on the school bus, which he dreaded. Chris's purported friends:
* [[Kellie Andes]]
* [[Tiffany Gowen]]
* Sarah B.<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], pages 9 and 13</ref>
* Miranda, partner in Science class<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 14</ref>
* Molly, happy and giggly<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6</ref>
* [[Joseph Herring]]
* Brian, [[JERK|boyfriend]] of Sarah<ref>[[:Image:0310-CWCNote6.jpg|DVD]], note 6; [[A Week With Christian Chandler]], page 8</ref>

In reality, few if any of those people can be legitimately said to have been a friend of Chris. As he himself admits, he spent little time with his so called friends outside of school hours<ref>[[Kacey Call 20]]</ref> and in his [[Song of Christian]] (written at age sixteen) he describes himself as being lonely and isolated.

{{-}}

==Go Lancers!==
[[File:TheLancers.jpg|thumb|100px|The logo of the team Chris uploaded on [[Facebook]] on 9 [[August 2013]].]]
Chris's servitude to the basketball team, probably the only meaningful interaction he had with other [[jerks|males]] throughout his entire adolescence, remains a cherished memory; so much so, that he continues to obsess about it... ''over a decade after graduating''.

A few references were slipped into the comic. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] Manchester High was featured heavily. It begins with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] hanging around his old school [[Pedofork|without being there on any official business.]] [[Magi-Chan]] then brings Chris and [[Sonichu]] back in time to [[1996#1996|1996,]] when Chris was a student. In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], [[Megagi La Skunk]] was depicted wearing a Lancers cheerleading outfit.

In [[August 2010]], Chris made a handful of characters and a vehicle in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' to commemorate his time with the basketball team. The Manchester High ''ModNation'' collection includes the team bus, two of the players, a [[Laura Beth Dorazio|cheerleader]], and Chris himself at age 14, looking as if he's afraid of being jumped by something just behind him.

On 9 [[August 2013]], as Chris continues to fantasise on his high school years, Chris uploaded the logo of the team on [[Facebook]]. At the same time, however, he noted that he had avoided attending school pep rallies, because they were "too loud."

{{-}}

==The Bus==

At age 15, Chris was "demoted" from the regular school bus to the Special Ed bus. Out of all the weird, embarrassing details of his life that he has no problem discussing, this is one experience that he has rarely spoken about. It's clear that Chris was scarred by this experience of being forced to spend time with the seriously mentally handicapped, or "[[slow-in-the-mind]] retards" [[CWC-isms|as he calls them]].

Chris switched to the Bus of Doom after a confrontation with another student on the Normal Bus. Much like every other time Chris claims to have been physically assaulted, it is unclear exactly what happened. He has only told the story twice;<ref name="Jackie Chat 9"/><ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref> in one version it sounds like Chris started a fight because he wanted to get off the bus first, and in the other version it sounds like a [[niggo]] punched him for no reason. Whatever happened, Chris cites this incident as the reason for his exclusion from Gen Pop.

==The Seinor Prom==

Chris took his [[Barbara|mom]] to the seinor [sic] prom. [[Gal-pal]] [[Tiffany]] felt sorry for him, and so she asked him to dance, which they did so for what seemed like hours to Chris (and arguably seemed like hours to Tiffany too). Chris hopes to re-enact this historic moment at an upcoming high school reunion.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Seinor Prom]]</ref> That is assuming there aren't security guards there for the express purpose of keeping him out.

===Gallery===

<center><gallery>
Image:0539-Prom1.jpg|Stay classy, Virginia.
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|"Don't go gropin' anyone tonight, Chris... I'm assburgin'."
Image:0541-Prom3.jpg
Image:0542-Prom4.jpg|Chris was probably more interested in the food than the two young ladies.
Image:0543-Prom5.jpg|Chris is feeling all by his lonesome at this point.
Image:0544-Prom6.jpg|Some random people at prom, giving what would be considered a rude gesture in some countries.
Image:0545-Prom7.jpg
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Tiffany to the rescue!
</gallery></center>

==Graduation==

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|Chris in his graduation gown. The white thing around his neck generally indicates [[honor roll]].]]

For Chris, graduation was an emotional experience. In his own words:<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Graduation]]</ref>

{{quotebox|I ONLY got recognized for my Grades with a Star Pin, yet they had [[Chris and English|MORE FANCIER]] AWARDS for more important qualities. I should have been Highly Recognized for [[Chris and art|my ARTISTIC TALENTS]] I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for [[Chris and his Ego|any of my Talents]]. [[Chris and Anger|I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD]]!

I had gotten over the Award Ceremony on the Graduation Day, but to add Lemon Juice to an open wound, it was a Dark and Rainy Day that Day, and they handed out MORE TALENTED AWARDS right before handing out any diplomas. When I went up there to get mine, I was feeling depressed, upset, crestfallen and ticked off. When the award was handed to me, I took it without looking anyone in the eye, and I did not shake anyone's hands. I just walked back to my seat in the Graduating Crowd. Then soon after, I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle, found an isolated table and cried myself out. [[Barbara|My mother]] found me later and comforted me; [[Bob|my father]] was ashamed of the way I acted, and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment. [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]] also found me and gave me a caring moment of condolences back there. I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand.}}

[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]

In another retelling, Chris reveals more straight anger:<ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]</ref>

{{quotebox|So while I sit there and feel happy for my friends who got something, I was so %$@# JEALOUS. I was a High-Functioning Autistic Boy who came WAAAAAAAAAY BEYOND OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SHELL, only to get ZILCH, NADA, ZIP; A BIG FAT ZERO! I felt so Devistated and Out Of Sync :'(

[...]

I ended up doing what I did when I went up there to accept the diploma; NO HANDSHAKE, TEARS, AND RUNNING AWAY TO HIDE. They don't even have any pictures of that in the Y2K Yearbook; the caption should have read, "Student Christian Chandler is Depressed and Sad for some reasons. His response is tears and fright."

Even now as I type this, I am still *&$%^#@ Angry that I didn't get anything for the things I've poured my heart, soul and hand-work into, nor emerged as a friend to quite a few, nor developing a positive social behavior similar to [[Red Skelton]].}}

The evil [[Count Graduon]]'s name was derived from Chris's feelings about his graduation.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>

==Lingering attachments==
Generally speaking, Chris's memories of high school still hold great significance for him. This is unsurprising, given that high school was the last time he regularly got out and about in a social environment that seems to have at least partially accepted and tolerated him, though this was most likely because snapping at an [[autistic]] child in a public school can get you suspended.

Chris has mentioned that he frequently [[dreams]] of his days in high school, recalling his teenage years in a nostalgic tone. A [[100 2178|May 2010 YouTube video]] features a flood of wistful reminiscing from Chris, as he laments having to move away from the suburb where he went to high school: "I had so many friends over there, in high school. And I was just sad to leave, when I, after I graduated." A good half a dozen of the women he recalled in his archive of "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and past sweethearts]]" (and most of the ones who weren't trolls) were girls he knew in high school.

There's also the matter of the aforementioned Count Graduon, where Chris may have created an embodiment of the concept of leaving high school to be the dominant villain of the entire Sonichu saga.

==Reunion plans==
{{quote|I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.|Chris on his "Promised Reunion"<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 9]]</ref>}}

In his "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts" page from the [[CWCipedia]], Chris notes that he looks forward to attending his class reunion. He doesn't know exactly when this will take place, and made no effort to find out about it until mid-2010, as he assumed somebody from the school would have contacted him with directions by then.

On 27 [[August 2010]], Chris uploaded a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|video address]] to [[YouTube]], wherein he reveals that, up to that point, he hadn't heard anything about a coming reunion. He decided to organize one himself, only to give up relatively quickly. In [[November 2010]], there may have been a class reunion, but either way, Chris did not attend.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:481-TungstenPoster.JPG|Tungsten. That is all.
Image:0232-CWCNote3.jpg|Becoming B-ball manager
Image:0309-CWCNote5.jpg|Prom Note
Image:0509-CWCNote8.jpg|Classes
Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|Graduation Note 1
Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|Graduation Note 2
Image:0568-GraduationNote3.jpg|Graduation Note 3
</gallery></center>

== Sources ==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[The High School Story]]
*[[Honor roll]]

==External links==
*[http://mychesterfieldschools.com/schools/high-school/manchester/ Homepage]
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester High School (Virginia)|Wikipedia article on Manchester High School]]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

Megan Schroeder

2013-07-22T15:03:18Z

Dkaien:

{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}

{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life. Chris met Megan in the summer of [[2005]] and she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]].

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]
In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken by her experiences and traumatized by his actions.<ref>[[Chris-chan#Megan Saga]]</ref><ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008]]</ref>

Evidence suggested that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Epilogue==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]].

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

==Chris's version of events==
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==Chris turns on Megan==
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and some [[homos]]exuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions that how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to have been a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2|Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll". His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another female Caucasian brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn in October 2008.

In October 2012, a leaked screenshot<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp10.png Screenshot of Megan]</ref> from Chris' Facebook profile revealed that he gave in to his parents' belief that Megan was trolling him all along. Not only that, but his comment below the picture shows just how much gratitude he has towards one of the few girls that would willingly come within a few feet of him - he called her "evil" and posted her home address in the hopes that trolls would turn on her.

On April 4 2013, Chris denounced the GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hate upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Megatron pistol

2013-07-21T17:31:01Z

Dkaien: /* Use in real life */

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_CWC_angry_Pistol.jpg|thumb|The pistol in "[[CWC is Angry]]", next to what appears to be the [[Fapcup]].]]

Since Chris is fascinated by the [[Transformers]], his primary frame of reference for firearms is '''Megatron''', the evil Decepticon rival of the heroic Autobot [[Optimus Prime]]. In his original 1980s incarnation, Megatron transformed (somewhat controversially) into a [[Wikipedia:Walther P38|Walther P38]] pistol which is [[CWCville|coincidentally]] the preferred sidearm of Nazi Germany in World War Two.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walther_P38 Walther P38 - Wikipedia]</ref> Chris owns a Megatron pistol, and is not afraid to let his enemies know it.

Chris would later drop the pistol in favor of the more versatile [[pocket knife]].

==The gun==
[[Image:Mp5-Megatron.PNG|thumb|A proper use of gov'ment money.]]

The version of the toy that Chris owns is the original "generation one" mold used in the 1980s, although it's probably a reissue sold during the 2000s. Since modern US toy regulations forbid toys that look like guns, it's relatively cost-prohibitive to obtain a Megatron. Moreover, Chris's has a mechanism for firing small plastic pellets, which has never been available domestically. All of this indicates that Chris obtained his "piece" from an American website specializing in importing exclusive Japanese Transformers. He certainly would have had to pay well over $100 for it – money coming directly out of his [[monthly tugboat]]. Knowing Chris and his idea of cleanliness, the toy is probably worthless now.

One of the reasons they don't sell Megatrons that turn into pistols anymore is out of public concerns that children brandishing toy guns could unwittingly provoke the [[Jerkops|police]], forcing them to err on the side of caution and defend themselves with lethal force. Given his recent run-ins with the [[law]], this sounds like exactly the sort of thing Chris might actually do.

==Use in real life==
After losing the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] contest, Chris took out his frustration on contest winner [[Adam Stackhouse]] by creating [[CWC is Angry|a video]] wherein he sets up a photo of Stackhouse and shoots at it with Megatron.

The pistol has also appeared in the [[War Paint Video]], in which Chris insists that he's a [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] – apparently referring to the sort of Cherokees who carry Japanese toys of Cybertronian robots disguised as German weapons.

The pistol was last seen when it appeared in the [[DivineTrial|Divine Trial video]], in which it was used to execute [[Clyde Cash]].

In a [[Twitter#28_June_2012|Twitter update]] from June 2012, Chris alludes to shooting himself in the head with the Megatron pistol during a depressive episode.

==Use in the comics==
[[Image:BustACap.jpg|thumb|The pistol in ''[[Sonichu Special 4]]''.]]

{{Quote|I know, but you shot him with a real gun in the comic. Like—like… he was my boyfriend, and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him a little? That's just weird. I just—I mean, like, I was expecting, like, you know, like, a magical fight, not like… you shooting him.|[[Kacey]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|voicing some discomfort]]}}

[[Sonichu Special 4]] saw the first hand-drawn appearance of Chris's Megatron pistol. In an attempt to rescue Kacey from her [[Liquid|own boyfriend]], Chris drives as fast as he legally can to their house and enters uninvited. Liquid, fearing a home invasion, charges Chris with a knife. Chris sidesteps this attack and then goes on to disarm Liquid, throw him to the ground, and shoot him in both shins, permanently crippling him. Although Chris clearly understands his toy is not a real gun, he is compelled to draw real guns to look exactly like Megatron, just as every big rig he draws has to be a red cab-over, even if it's running over his [[Sarah Jackson|gal-pal]].

==Fan works==
<center>{{Collapsible|Fair warning is given, viewing these images may result in blindness and/or copious amounts of vomit. |[[File:Guncomic.jpg|thumb|center|100px|"My [[Love Quest]] is finally over!"]]}}</center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Optimus Prime]]
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]]
*[[Decepti-Clones]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Megatron (Transformers)|Megatron]] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Virgin with rage

2013-07-21T15:52:02Z

Dkaien: /* No longer a virgin (No word on the rage) */

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]].

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

On April 2012, Chris wrote a message to [[Facebook]] claiming he had finally lost his hated virginity. It remains yet to be seen whether or not losing it will change anything.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]].}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't, by giving her random and unwanted touches.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug, however she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010.<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (No word on the rage)==

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris bragging about how he paid for sex.]]

On 12 [[April 2012]] a leaked [[Facebook]] message depicted Chris as having finally lost his virginity. The posting (assuming it is true considering Chris's [[Lie|track record]]) contains several points highly suggesting that Chris has hired a prostitute:
* She compared him to the last guy she was with.
* She told him a [[Duck|blatant lie]] to make him feel good about himself.
* Perhaps the most telling of all, Chris said that his eventual 'Sweetheart-to-be' will find out about it, meaning that this was a [[Fuck Quest|one night stand]].

Roughly a month later, on 1 [[May 2012|May]], Chris wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [http://www.backpage.com backpage]." This could refer to Backpage.com, a popular classified ads website with a sizable "adult" section, or it could refer to the literal back pages of a weekly newspaper, which are often home to ads for escorts.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref>

Both prostitution and solicitation of prostitution are illegal in Virginia.<ref>[http://prostitution.procon.org/view.background-resource.php?resourceID=767]</ref> Therefore, Chris is either [[List of Chris's lies|lying]] or [[Chris and the Law|has committed yet another crime.]]

==Aftermath==
Despite his hopes, losing his virginity does not appear to have made Chris any happier. His [[Twitter]] and Facebook updates in the weeks and months since have shown him sliding deeper into depression. An April 2012 [[Twitter]] post states, "The virgin-breaker was a Great Milestone for me, and it made me feel more self-confident, but still, it was One thing. I still require my Sweetheart. :_( ...<3"

{{references}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Duck

2013-07-21T15:44:27Z

Dkaien: /* Chris and his duck */

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|right|200px]]</div>
{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}
{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}
'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. Further damage could have resulted from when Chris [[Cwcsicle|stuck his duck in the ice]] for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, which is a source of some insecurity for him. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you." In [[Kacey Call 11]], Chris asked Kacey for details as to the size of Liquid Chris's penis and expressed regret that his own was not as large.

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]], leaked in [[April 2011]], his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

When he announced the alleged loss of his [[virgin with rage|virginity]] on [[Facebook]] Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.
== Sources ==
<references />
==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Megan Schroeder

2013-07-21T15:24:41Z

Dkaien: /* Chris's version of events */

{{timelinetop
|size = 250
|start= 2005
|end = 2008
}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}

{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Megan Schroeder
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 23 July 1986
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| None known
|-
|}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) was a [[Gal pal|gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest relationship of his life. Chris met Megan in the summer of [[2005]] and she cut off contact with him in early [[2008]].

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan Emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]]; asexual even, with a few eccentricities that Chris was more than happy to copy and fulfill, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met during the summer of [[2005]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games|games marketed to pre-teens]]. It only took [[Third date|a few games of cards]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. This was probably perpetuated by the fact that Megan used him as means to buy stuff off of eBay.

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris would hang all over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who wanted nothing more than her personal space away from our hero. Even more so, she only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris would continue hounding Megan. When Megan attempted to get rid of Chris, saying that she had a boyfriend, it didn't deter Chris from his ultimate goal of [[china]].

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan is a bit of an amateur cartoonist herself, and that caught Chris's fancy early in the game.

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the now consistent diary-keeping that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') quickly made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own [[homo|lesbian]] furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (Chris knew Megagi?) and thwart the evil Jerkops trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[animu]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes.

[[Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris critiqued some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character snuggling up with Chris AND offering fan service to the audience. Chris failed at understanding her anger, but did [[retcon]] a couple pages to tone them down.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

In June [[2007]], Megan went to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering about the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] and the prizes that laid within, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and the trip and use that to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost, [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, Megan didn't give a shit. Even when Chris began whining about how everyone "cheated", especially Adam, but he "didn't", she didn't care. It soon got to the point where Megan would finally blow up at Chris for his childish and selfish acts. Despite being hurt, Chris continued to harass Megan.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}
[[Image:ShecameforCWC_(200803).JPG|right|thumb|...aaand we've crossed it.]]
In November 2007, Chris would discover his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man war [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Rule 34]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering a girl]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], but Chris would eventually reveal that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on the 18th March, 2008.]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He would later admit he did it in part to suppress the occasional impulse to [[rape]] her, and that trying to assert that what she was going through just BEING in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring. In the end, Megan finally broke off all contact with Chris, broken by her experiences and traumatized by his actions.<ref>[[Chris-chan#Megan Saga]]</ref><ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008]]</ref>

Evidence suggested that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons Daniel Mimms and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC merely euthanized a dying relationship rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Epilogue==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]].

Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]] entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan; alternatively it could have been a troll posing as her.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

A year later, on 10 August 2010, [[Matthew Noble call|it was revealed]] that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] believe Megan to have actively conspired with Michael Snyder and some [[homos]]exuals to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions something about how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to have been a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2|Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll". His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to have sex with him. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another female Caucasian brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn in October 2008.

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still can't let go.

==Chris's version of events==
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==Chris turns on Megan==
In October 2012, a leaked screenshot<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp10.png Screenshot of Megan]</ref> from Chris' Facebook profile revealed that he gave in to his parents' delusion that Megan was trolling him all along. Not only that, but his comment below the picture shows just how much gratitude he has towards one of the few girls that would willingly come within a few feet of him - he called her "evil" and posted her personal information in the hopes that trolls would turn on her.

On April 4 2013, Chris denounced the [[The GAMe PLACe|PLace]] and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hate upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a July 20 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref> Perhaps, if Chris ever starts the [[Sonichu_(comic)|comic]] up again, we shall see Megan taking up the golden hair/helm of being Chris's foe.

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings is quite obviously traced from the same source.
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg
Image:321-IceCune.jpg
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan_ace_of_clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu (Namco)|Yoshimitsu]]<ref>http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php#a</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|Yoshimitsu
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|THAT IS NOT CRYSTAL.
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Jerkop

2013-07-12T16:43:34Z

Dkaien:

{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}

[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
A '''Jerkop''' is a '''mall security guard''' or '''police officer'''. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21]</ref>

In the [[comic|Sonichu comics]], Jerkops serve as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]

==Appearance==
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Standard Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|some shitty recolor]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]

Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. Chris goes into greater detail in his "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu #4]]:

{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks [[Death threats|evil]] and [[Mass debating|naughty]] thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the[sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, [[Virgin with rage|they rarely attract any women]]. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil[sic], yet ugly legs; viens[sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove[sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of[sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}}

Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.

Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzen such as Bagget.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Police?==
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 28}}

[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]

While a common misconception holds that [[Chris]] essentially delivered a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarified in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu ''#5]] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops was a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically put the police on a pedestal.

That said, Chris held a very narrow definition of a "true" police officer. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again pointed out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seemed to be a major sticking point for Chris. As far as he was concerned, the color of a cop's uniform provided the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris's earlier outlook, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]].

Subsequent to the events of [[28 October 2011]], these distinctions are moot. Chris now hates and fears all security guards or police officers regardless of their uniforms or the source of their authority. In a Facebook status update from January 2012, made during an attempt to trawl the [[Fashion Square Mall]] for sweethearts, he states: "After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called Officers of the Badge."

==Police in ''Sonichu''==
While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|#9]] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|#10]], Chris introduces Constables Lou Perez and Gerald Grant, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.{{clear}}

==Equipment==

{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4]] cover}}

[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol cleverly disguised as a [[duck]].]]

Jerkops, in fitting with their mission to prevent autistic manchildren from procreating, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56]</ref>. What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] as to fall for such a shoddy disguise.

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick, pulled from nowhere. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. [[Jerkhief]] wields a Halberd-like Pole Axe, and wears a suit of powered armour with Laser Cannons and Missile Lauchers in its shoulders and back, along with the ability to fire off its fists like rockets- he also keeps a Pistol and a Metal Slingshot as backup weaponry. [[Bagget|Jerkop Daitenzen]] wields a sword, and his costume seems to be made of a special material that protects him from the electric attacks of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The Jerkops also employ several [[Decepti-Clones|transforming robots]] for transportation and battle. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown-liveried Police Cruisers, "Scoundrels as Vessels", which transform into heavily-armoured SUVs, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue [[Wikipedia:Sukhoi Su-35|Jet Fighters]]. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]].
{{clear}}

==Weaknesses==
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.

==Creation of a Jerkop==

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.

As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.

==Appearances in comic==
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]
*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]
*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]
*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]
*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]
*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]

==Notable Jerkops==
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Punislav]]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]
{{Love quest}}

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Villains]]

Jerkop

2013-07-12T16:42:21Z

Dkaien: /* Police? */

{{quote|[[Mary Lee Walsh|That *&^%$]] SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "[[Virgina is for Virgins]], NOT Lovers".}}

[[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|thumb|A REAL AMERICAN HERO]]
A '''Jerkop''' is either a '''mall security guard''' or an "evil" '''police officer'''. The word itself is a portmanteau of "[[JERKS|JERK]]" and "cop." Female Jerkops are sometimes called '''Janekops'''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#Jerkops.2C_Janekops.2C_ATTACK.21]</ref>

In the [[comic|Sonichu comics]], Jerkops serve as the villainous private army of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], until Sonichu liberates them from Mary's control in [[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]

==Appearance==
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|left|Standard Jerkops watch [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|some shitty recolor]] levitate in a [[2004]] short.]]

Jerkops typically resemble human beings wearing red, white, or brown police-style uniforms. Chris goes into greater detail in his "Backyard Safari" feature in [[Sonichu #4]]:

{{quote|Let's look at one on this illustration. Now here, we see its head is a basic human shape, but it only thinks [[Death threats|evil]] and [[Mass debating|naughty]] thoughts. Note, its eyes are frowning; the[sic] stay that way 24/7. With this face, [[Virgin with rage|they rarely attract any women]]. This "badge" is a phony; it's really a cracker, covered in glitter-glue. It wards away all who approach it with its out-of-date breadstick. They wear basic black pants to cover their agil[sic], yet ugly legs; viens[sic], hair, and sores oh, my! Some, not all, wear a black gove[sic] to cover the spot where one finger fell of[sic] as it grew up. They wear brown shoes, because of their sausage feet.}}

Rank and file Jerkops are depicted in an even simpler fashion than the other background characters in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]. Their legs are often held tightly together, as if they move via tiny wheels on the undersides of their feet. They have plain, curved, vase-like white bodies. Their female counterparts, Janekops, look about the same, except for their prominent breasts and neck-length hairstyles.

Chris would later elaborate on the Jerkop uniforms on the [[CWCipedia]]. White uniforms were for low-class Jerkops, such as new recruits. Red uniforms were for an intermediate rank, possessing "Good Amount of Expierences and Combat Skills." Finally, brown uniforms were for the highest class, including Jerkhiefs and Jerkop Daitenzen such as Bagget.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#The_Construction_of_the_PVCCitizens_Building]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Police?==
{{quote|And so, I urge you the citizens of CWCville to remember, with the police, only black and blue are true; all other colors are VICE!|Chris displays his irrational hatred of the Vice Squad, [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], page 28}}

[[File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|thumb|"Police-Women" on Chris's [[dating]] blacklist]]

While a common misconception holds that [[Chris]] essentially delivered a verbose "Fuck tha Police" through the Jerkop characters, he clarified in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu ''#5]] that [[Niggos|brown]] (mall security) is wrong, while more common black and blue (police officers) are [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]]. A lot of what Chris wrote about the Jerkops is a feeble effort to undermine the authority of private security staff by comparing them unfavorably with the police. So in mocking the Jerkops' "cracker" badges and hyping "the true police people", Chris ironically put the police on a pedestal.

That said, Chris held a very narrow definition of a "true" police officer. When describing the origins of the Jerkops on CWCipedia, Chris again pointed out that they wore uniforms "OF COLORS OTHER THAN BLUE OR BLACK." This seemed to be a major sticking point for Chris. As far as he was concerned, the color of a cop's uniform provided the sole signifier of his authority, even though many police officers wear brown or white uniforms whether Chris approves or not. Whatever he was wearing at the time, [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] was definitely a real police officer when he arrested Chris in 2004. Nevertheless, Chris still lumped him into the same category as all the security guards who gave him a hard time. So, according to Chris's earlier outlook, cops are only okay as long as they wear blue and black AND they don't try to arrest him for breaking the [[law]].

Subsequent to the events of [[28 October 2011]], these distinctions are moot. Chris now hates and fears all security guards or police officers regardless of their uniforms or the source of their authority. In a Facebook status update from January 2012, made during an attempt to trawl the [[Fashion Square Mall]] for sweethearts, he states: "After October 28, 2011; I know have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called Officers of the Badge."

==Police in ''Sonichu''==
While [[CWCville]] has a police department in ''Sonichu'', they rarely ever appear, except to support Chris and Sonichu while they defend the city instead. In [[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]] Chris dismisses them from the battlefield as soon as he arrives, and in [[Sonichu 9|#9]] they're only mentioned as part of the city's defenses. Finally, in [[Sonichu 10|#10]], Chris introduces Constables Lou Perez and Gerald Grant, when Magi-Chan sends them to check Inos into a soup hotel.{{clear}}

==Equipment==

{{quote|MY WOODEN BADGE WAS DELICIOUS|[[Jerkhief]], [[Sonichu 4]] cover}}

[[Image:Freudiangun.jpg|right|thumb|A pistol cleverly disguised as a [[duck]].]]

Jerkops, in fitting with their mission to prevent autistic manchildren from procreating, are equipped with faux badges, evidently made of crackers, glitter glue, and tree bark<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56]</ref>. What purpose these serve is unknown, as [[Chris|no one]] would be so [[Autistic|retarded]] as to fall for such a shoddy disguise.

In terms of weaponry, most Jerkops carry a stale breadstick, in place of a traditional nightstick, pulled from nowhere. The Jerkops also used handcuffs on one occasion, although this may not be standard issue. [[Jerkhief]] wields a Halberd-like Pole Axe, and wears a suit of powered armour with Laser Cannons and Missile Lauchers in its shoulders and back, along with the ability to fire off its fists like rockets- he also keeps a Pistol and a Metal Slingshot as backup weaponry. [[Bagget|Jerkop Daitenzen]] wields a sword, and his costume seems to be made of a special material that protects him from the electric attacks of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The Jerkops also employ several [[Decepti-Clones|transforming robots]] for transportation and battle. These include "Punislavs", which transform into brown-liveried Police Cruisers, "Scoundrels as Vessels", which transform into heavily-armoured SUVs, and "Crackders", which transform into dark blue [[Wikipedia:Sukhoi Su-35|Jet Fighters]]. The Crackder model proved instrumental in Bagget's capture of Chris in [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]].
{{clear}}

==Weaknesses==
[[Image:Cwckicktothenads.JPG|center|thumb|300px|This is how Chris deals with people who tell him to GTFO]]
As demonstrated above, the best way to reduce those who prevent you from violating the law to a quivering pile of jelly is [[CWC Fighter|a good kick]] in the balls, or as Chris calls it, the "Sourdough region." The lowest levels of Jerkop require only a single kick to this region, while higher-level Jerkops such as the [[Jerkhief]] may require as many as five kicks, because their fat absorbs the impact.

==Creation of a Jerkop==

According to the CWCipedia, Jerkops are normal men and women who ended up attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]'s school, known as "Prowldent Virginia Community College." Upon entering the school for the first day, they are unwittingly infected with "brainwashing powder" that subconsciously affects them. They can live normal lives, but once Slaweel has need for them, she'll activate the brainwashing, and the Jerkops will don their uniforms and go cockblock Chris.

As seen in Chris's [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|earlier documentation]], the Jerkops also make use of a "Hypno-Gun" to add to their numbers, since they have such a [[virgin with rage|hard time reproducing]]. In describing the hypno-gun, Chris made it very clear that the Jerkop brainwashing only worked on "[[slow-in-the-minds]]", and others of [[Christian Weston Chandler|lesser intelligence]]. It wasn't until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] where any mention was made of the idea of un-brainwashing the Jerkops, and even then Chris makes clear that his Electric Hedgehogs have managed to actually [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|''kill'']] several of the completely innocent retards in their fights.

Whatever the previous method of un-brainwashing the Jerkops that Sonichu and company manage not to outright murder, it becomes a moot point in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], when [[Ultra Sonichu]] uses his [[GodJesus|nigh-omnipotence]] to supposedly cure all Jerkops everywhere forever.

==Appearances in comic==
*[[Sonichu_0#Sub-Episode_1:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Jerkop-tastropie.22|Sonichu 0 Sub-Episode 1:Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-Tastrophe"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_6:_.22Christian_Chandler.27s_Backyard_Safari.22|Sonichu 4 Sub Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 7: "Off-Target"]]
*[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_part_2.22|Sonichu 4 Sub-Episode 8: "Off-Target part 2"]]
*[[Sonichu_5#Episode_13:_.22Smashed_Hearts_.26_Entrapment.22|Sonichu 5 Episode 13: "Smashed Hearts & Entrapment"]]
*[[Sonichu_6#Episode_14:_.22Evil_is_Afoot.21.22|Sonichu 6 Episode 14: "Evil is Afoot!"]]
*[[Sonichu_7#Episode_16:_.22Time_Hogs.22|Sonichu 7 Episode 16: "Time Hogs"]]
*[[Sonichu_9#Episode_20:_CWC-Defense|Sonichu 9 Episode 20: "CWC-Defense"]]
*[[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|Sonichu 10 Episode 21: Christian Chandler in "Director Amenities"]]

==Notable Jerkops==
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Punislav]]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
{{Fan art|chris=Jerkops|linkname=Jerkops}}
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Janekops|Janekops]]
*[[Manajerks]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]
{{Love quest}}

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Villains]]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2013-07-10T20:05:12Z

Dkaien: /* Aftermath */

'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on 29 [[May 2004]] and 17 [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Anime Mid-Atlantic took place on May 28–30, [[2004]]. Chris recounts this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #5:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, [[2004]], I, Christian Chandler, attended my first [[Anime]] Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel
Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}

[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]

<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish.
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|<nowiki>:D</nowiki>
</gallery>
{{-}}

==2005==
Chris anticipated this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #9 and #10:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews9.htm</ref> It took place on June 17–19, [[2005]].

{{quotebox|Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see ''[[News Dash!]]'' #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|8D|thumb]]

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Video games|GameCube]]...check.
Image:AMA2.jpg|[[Health|24-pack of Pepsi]]...check.
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check.
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check".
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic!Chris]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!!!
</gallery>

===Witness account===
[[Image:0668-ANIME514.JPG|thumb|Fellow autists at the Sonic panel]]

In [[May 2010]], the blog ''Topless Robot'' had a contest for "Most Shameful Nerd Moment". One commenter named tasakeru828, who ran a ''[[Sonic]]'' panel at what was presumably Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005, described the experience<ref>http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/05/moments_of_nerd_shame_and_the_winners_are.php</ref>:

{{quotebox|I actually met [[Chris-chan]] at an [[anime]] convention before [[ED]] found out about him and started [[troll]]ing him en masse. A friend and I were hosting a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] panel and trying to prove that not all Sonic fans are as batshit insane as they're made out to be. That noble goal was shot to hell when the one-and-only Christian Weston Chandler arrived in all his [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], Sonichu-[[medallion]]-wearing glory and started handing out free copies of his first issue. He asked us a completely unintelligible question (thinking mistakenly that we actually had some influence on the series as a whole), and afterwards he babbled at us personally while we smiled and nodded trying to look interested. We obviously knew he was mentally ill, but we had no idea that we were meeting a future [[Internet]] legend. 
Now, I still persist in my goal to prove that some Sonic fans are decent, intelligent people. (...) But Lord, Chris-chan comes very close to ruining it all for even me, and that should tell you something.}}

==Aftermath==
Chris has not been to an anime convention since the 2005 Anime Mid-Atlantic event.

In [[2010]], Chris planned for a time to visit the [[MGS|Otakon]] convention in Baltimore (in large part so he could meet [[Jackie]] there), but he managed to thwart himself by spending the money he'd set aside for the expedition. In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he claims that [[Chris and Money|he overdrew his bank account]] shortly before the trip. This incurred the wrath of his parents, who refused to allow him to leave the house.

Chris also hoped to attend the 2011 MAGFest gaming convention in Washington D.C., but after his parents learned of his plans to spend the weekend sleeping in a hotel lobby and/or his car, they once again put the kibosh on the planned outing. In another [[Jackie E-mails 29|e-mail to Jackie]], Chris claimed that they threatened to lock him out of the house if he tried to make the trip.

== Sources ==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.animemidatlantic.com/ Official Website]
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 Convention Information Page]
* [http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 Convention Information Page]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

Barbara Chandler

2013-07-10T19:55:31Z

Dkaien: /* Mental */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].}}

{{quote| she threatens to kill me |Chris on Barb.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_26</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her [[Obesity|massive size]] earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her sleeping a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It's not clear exactly what sort of problem this refers to -- possibly bed sores from lack of activity -- but it doesn't sound pleasant.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb, her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites in the hospital where he later died.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_26</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Barbara Chandler

2013-07-10T19:53:31Z

Dkaien: /* Physical */

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].}}

{{quote| she threatens to kill me |Chris on Barb.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_26</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her [[Obesity|massive size]] earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her sleeping a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It's not clear exactly what sort of problem this refers to -- possibly bed sores from lack of activity -- but it doesn't sound pleasant.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb, her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites in the hospital where he later died.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris revealed that during the [[Tomgirl]] saga, Barb made threats to kill him in an episode of emotional rage.<ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_E-mails_26</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Kim Wilson

2013-06-08T03:10:04Z

Dkaien: /* Facebook */

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

[[Kim Wilson]] is a [[gal pal]] of Chris. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Kim is a regular commenter on Chris's [[Facebook]] page.

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an effort to establish herself as a non-[[boyfriend free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him. This was in spite of the fact that Chris claimed "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her, to which he happily gave up his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Hambeast]], as well as the picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her he had an insecurity over [[penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref>, he would later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She failed at getting Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and [[exercise]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>, to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>, learn to play the guitar<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>, and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> Of course none of these happened.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim might have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although it is not known whether it was Kim Wilson or not. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in the chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim in person, going to an Applebees with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which as Chris has confirmed belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. However it is not known if the girl heard in Chris's Big Night Out part I and II is Kim or whether or not she was even present during the filming of said videos.

Presuming that the girl featured in Chris's Big Night Out is indeed Kim would mean that part II was shot long before its release on July, as the girl in the video talks about hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, and yet Chris was already aware that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan by 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq.<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref>

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of him named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with the her to next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend Free Girl|boyfriend free]].

In his last mention of Mic Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==Facebook==
After Chris retreated from public view into his private [[Facebook]] page in 2012 and 2013, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently-proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direcion (though he does not often follow them).

On 5 September 2012 [[Anna McLerran]] called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following one of Chris's posts. Either Chris ignored her accusation or he wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Kim Wilson

2013-06-08T03:09:34Z

Dkaien: /* Mentions in videos */

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

[[Kim Wilson]] is a [[gal pal]] of Chris. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Kim is a regular commenter on Chris's [[Facebook]] page.

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an effort to establish herself as a non-[[boyfriend free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him. This was in spite of the fact that Chris claimed "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her, to which he happily gave up his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Hambeast]], as well as the picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her he had an insecurity over [[penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref>, he would later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She failed at getting Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and [[exercise]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>, to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>, learn to play the guitar<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>, and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> Of course none of these happened.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim might have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although it is not known whether it was Kim Wilson or not. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in the chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim in person, going to an Applebees with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which as Chris has confirmed belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. However it is not known if the girl heard in Chris's Big Night Out part I and II is Kim or whether or not she was even present during the filming of said videos.

Presuming that the girl featured in Chris's Big Night Out is indeed Kim would mean that part II was shot long before its release on July, as the girl in the video talks about hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, and yet Chris was already aware that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan by 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq.<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref>

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of him named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with the her to next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend Free Girl|boyfriend free]].

In his last mention of Mic Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==Facebook==
After Chris retreated from public view into his private [[Facebook]] page in 2012 and 2013, Kim followed him there and made regular comments on his wall. Her remarks are usually compliments or bits of gently-proffered advice attempting to push Chris's socializing in a positive direcion (though he does not often follow them).

On 5 September 2012 [[Anna McLerran]] called Kim out as a troll in a comment thread following one of Chris's posts. Either Chris ignored her accusation, or wasn't convinced, as he continued to recognize Kim as one of his few friends in subsequent updates.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Kim Wilson

2013-06-08T03:04:32Z

Dkaien:

: ''"Kim" redirects here. For Chris's blow-up doll, see [[Kimmi]].''

[[Kim Wilson]] is a [[gal pal]] of Chris. She was first mentioned in [[Kacey Call 1]], and much of what is known of her comes from references in the [[Kacey calls]]. In [[2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris at 10 P.M.<ref>[[Kacey Call 8]]</ref>

Under the moniker [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum] (her YouTube username<ref name="Kacey 1" />) Kim served as a judge for the [[SingStar Challenge]],<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3#31 July]]</ref> where she voted in favor of [[Solid Chris]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eNmvI0DZjI]</ref>

Kim is a regular commenter on Chris's [[Facebook]] page.

==Introduction to Chris and Kacey==
Prior to the Kacey calls, Kim had been emailing Chris, helping him get into [[Liquid Chris]]'s email account.<ref name="Father">[[Father Call]]</ref> In an effort to establish herself as a non-[[boyfriend free girl]], she told him she was with a tough dude named Logan, and together they had two German shepherds.<ref name="Kacey 1">[[Kacey Call 1]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still thought Kim liked him, and asked Kacey to ask her what she thought of him. This was in spite of the fact that Chris claimed "I respect her space very much."<ref>[[Kacey Call 3]]</ref> After Chris gave Kim's email address to Kacey, the two became friends.<ref>[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]</ref>

==Interactions==
In [[August 2009]], Kim asked Chris to share his [[PSN]] information with her, to which he happily gave up his username and password, resulting in his PSN account getting hacked.<ref>[[Kacey Call 4]]</ref>

By [[September 2009]], Kim was regularly calling Chris. It was Kim's suggestion that Chris get a [[sports bra]] for exercising, prompting Chris to purchase one.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> That month, Chris also sent her the pictures of him with [[Hambeast]], as well as the picture of him in the sports bra.<ref>[[Kacey Call 9]]</ref><ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref> He also told her he had an insecurity over [[penis]] size.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> While Chris ignored her suggestion to do a [[Sonichu]] [[cosplay]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 22]]</ref>, he would later cosplay as [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. She failed at getting Chris to give her his [[PS3]], under the guise that her boyfriend was a professional who could debug it.<ref>[[Kacey Call 18]]</ref>

It was Kim who told Chris that [[Regina]] could just be "a whole bunch of misunderstandings", instead of a troll.<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>

==Attempts to improve Chris==
Like Kacey, Kim actually tried to get Chris to improve his life. She was asking Chris to eat right and [[exercise]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>, to stop [[sigh]]ing and saying "whatever", take his Lego city apart<ref name="Kacy24">[[Kacey Call 24]]</ref>, learn to play the guitar<ref>[[Kacey Call 14]]</ref>, and gave him a mock job interview, in hopes that he'd find a job.<ref>[[Kacey Call 19]]</ref> Of course none of these happened.

==Real-life encounters==
Kim might have already encountered Chris by the spring of [[2009]]. In a chat with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] from [[April 2009|22 April]] Chris talked about meeting [[Joshua Martinez|Joshua]] at the mall along with a girl named Kim,<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 7]]</ref> although it is not known whether it was Kim Wilson or not. The only information discernible about the Kim mentioned in the chat is that she was not previously familiar to Chris (he had a slight trouble recalling her name) and that he was somewhat sexually interested in her ("[Kim] was cute and sexy, but I still remain devoted to my Sweetest [[Ivy]]").

At one point, Chris met Kim in person, going to an Applebees with her and Kacey.<ref name="Father" />

On [[June 2009]] a number of [[Chris's Big Night Out|videos of Chris interacting in public]] were uploaded to the YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum ScarletSanctum], which as Chris has confirmed belongs to Kim.<ref name="Kacey 1" /> Another series of [[Chris's Big Night Out II|similar videos]] was released by the same account on [[July 2009]]. However it is not known if the girl heard in Chris's Big Night Out part I and II is Kim or whether or not she was even present during the filming of said videos.

Presuming that the girl featured in Chris's Big Night Out is indeed Kim would mean that part II was shot long before its release on July, as the girl in the video talks about hiding from Chris the fact that she's in a relationship, and yet Chris was already aware that Kim had a boyfriend named Logan by 15 June 2009.<ref name="sorry" />

==Mentions in videos==
In [[June 2009]], after Chris created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', an upset Kim forced Chris to create the apology video
''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', in which Chris insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." Kim claimed to be upset because her boyfriend had a gay brother who lost both his arms in Iraq.<ref name="sorry">[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]</ref>

Chris mentions Kim in his [[August 2009]] video, [[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]], in which Chris states that Kim brought it to his attention that his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] of [[Liquid Chris]] was too harsh of a punishment.<ref>[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]</ref>

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], made on 14 [[March 2010]], Chris mentions that he shares with [[The Wallflower]] a female friend, whom he nicknames Scarlet. Seeing that Kim's YouTube username is ScarletSanctum, this is likely a reference to her. In the video, Chris says that he forwarded to Scarlet the "admissions" of [[Surfshack Tito]], likely referring to the email Tito sent him on the day the video was made.<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails 3]]: Scroll down the page to see the aforementioned email from Tito.</ref>

In the [[Autism Tutorial]]s Chris made several mentions of a gal-pal of him named "Mic". Considering his [[Naitsirch|fondness]] [[Slaweel|for anagrams]], it is not unlikely to assume that Mic is a code name for Kim. In his first mention of Mic Chris bemoans her unwillingness to move him out of her [[friend zone]].<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 4]]</ref> If she is really Kim this suggest that at some point she broke up with Logan, as Chris would probably not try to take things with the her to next level if she wasn't [[Boyfriend Free Girl|boyfriend free]].

In his last mention of Mic Chris says that they do not often hang out with each other due to Mic being busy.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 6]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweethearts}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Wilson, Kim}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Get-Tar Region

2013-05-08T21:27:09Z

Dkaien:

[[Image:Target Charlottesville.jpg|thumb|200px|The [[Charlottesville]] branch of Target]]
On 20 July [[2005]], Chris felt it'd be a great idea to head down to his local '''Target''' mall store and continue his [[Love Quest]]. After being told to leave because he was loitering and disturbing customers, Chris fought back and was eventually restrained, handcuffed at his wrists and ankles, and even worse, cuffed to a wheelchair like a [[slow-in-the-mind]].

==In Chris's own words==
Chris described the incident in an entry to [[CWC's Diary]].

{{quotebox|"July 20, [[2005]]: … I was at the new [[Wikipedia:Target Corporation|Target]] store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two [[Manajerks]] asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do.

Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two [[Jerkops]]! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. A thousand pounds of sausages on my [[obesity|180 pound body]] was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].

They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my [[Bob Chandler|family]]. But now I have to go to court on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall.

So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called [[Bagget]] (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how [[Random-access humor|funny]] it was).|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], comic genius}}

==In Chris's comics==
The incident distressed Chris so greatly that he adapted it into Sub-Episodes 7 and 8 of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], entitled "Off-Target." "Cleverly" renaming Target as "the '''Get-Tar Region'''" (which causes many newfags to think Chris is talking about the guitar retail chain [[Wikipedia:Guitar Center|Guitar Center]]), the story seems surprisingly faithful to what really happened that day, at least until the sword-fight and the part where his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] saves him from a [[Transformers|Transformer]].

What's interesting to note about the story is how Chris betrays himself in his attempt to whitewash the story to make himself the hero. At the beginning of "Off-Target," he all but admits that he plans to use the new locale to sit around all day, using [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]] to fill the singularity inside his gut with their soda, drawing his shit [[comic]]s, and waiting for tee-totaling Aryan supermodels to show up and bear his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]].

{{quote|This is a great set-up.. an open bar facing the path to the exit, a dollar for a drink with free refills, and all the ladies will have to walk by me. I'm bound to be found by a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend free, 18-23-Year old girl]] now. Especially since this [[Love Quest]] has been going on for about two years now. Toodie-Froodie, drawing comics all day long. [[Excel Saga|Only three days since I skipped my last deadline!]] :)|Christian Weston Chandler, [[Sonichu 4|Sonichu #4]], 5 years ago}}

So by Chris's own admission, his intention was to pay the good people at Target a dollar a day to let him sit in their store and bother female customers until he got laid or [[death|died]], whichever came first. Strangely, the management wasn't really thrilled with this arrangement, and as the comic shows, Chris clearly can't understand why loitering on private property is bad.

Instead of focusing on the Manajerks'/Jerkops' motivations, Chris simply infers that they despise him for being an [[autistic]] [[virgin]], and places the most attention on the indignity he suffered from his arrest. Hence, the comic shows Chris being tackled (albeit by a giant robot), "hog-timed" (complete with apple, as if he were about to be rotisseried), and hauled off for trial (by [[Mary Lee Walsh]], in a scene ripped off from ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]'').

In another example of how selfish Chris really is, he essentially writes [[Barbara|his own mother]] out of the story, and has Crystal rescue him instead. That's gratitude for you.

The [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|correspondence with Jackie]] revealed that in the ensuing trial, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook. In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

==The real story==
{{quote|I'm sure you all remember the Target incident. Where he got "hog tied" by the [[jerkop]]s, had his pants pulled down, face rubbed against the carpet and cried a tear of blood? Yeah, about that. First, he was kicked out within a few days to a week of Target opening. That's just sad. When he was approached by management to leave, he ignored them. When they kept pressing, he finally back talked them and called them jerkops. When the cops came, guess what Chris did....[[Chris and the Law|He tried to fucking run.]] Hence why he was hog tied and I'm sure in that struggle his pants just happened to come off.|[[Emily]]}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image: Chris-Straw.jpg|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw|Summary of Chris's agenda at the Get-Tar Region.]]
Image: Targetincidentrendition.jpg|An artist's rendition of the target incident.
Image: Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|The Jerkhief puts his thousand pound sausage in Chris
Image: Chris-Carpet-Burn.jpg|HOG-TIME HIM!
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]]
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Target Corporation|Target Corporation]] at [[Wikipedia]]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2013-05-08T16:30:09Z

Dkaien: /* Chris vs. Fashion Square */

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall.]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and his behavior at the mall has led to several run-ins with its management and security personnel.

The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act.

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was there that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had there, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "Hi" to the manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit!

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has gotten himself into trouble at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

On 31 March, he managed to get himself in trouble for a second time this year, this time by yelling on his phone towards his trolls. Security guards came to confront Chris, but he ended up fleeing the mall once more.

On 28 April, Chris released a [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook message]] stating that, on the 25th of April, he had received the ban-hammer for getting angry in the mall when he answered some calls from the trolls.

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] revealed that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1fvIvbUQ9_0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = 0ArchieBunker0
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/charlottesville-fashion-square Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2013-05-08T16:25:41Z

Dkaien: Edited the intro to be a bit more non-specific, avoiding contradictions as the body adds more and more expulsions/bans/other incidents.

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall.]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and his behavior at the mall has led to several run-ins with its management and security personnel.

The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act.

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was there that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had there, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "Hi" to the manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit!

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

On 31 March, he managed to get himself in trouble for a second time this year, this time by yelling on his phone towards his trolls. Security guards came to confront Chris, but he ended up fleeing the mall once more.

On 28 April, Chris released a Facebook message stating that, on the 25th of April, he had received the ban-hammer for getting angry in the mall when he answered some calls from the trolls.<ref name="facebook ban"/>

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] revealed that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1fvIvbUQ9_0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = 0ArchieBunker0
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/charlottesville-fashion-square Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]
[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

Template:Da update

2012-04-17T23:40:56Z

Dkaien:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>

*16 [[April 2012|April]]: After a two year absence, Chris returns to [[Twitter]] to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]]. Meanwhile, Chris and Barbara are indicted and will be arraigned on their felony charges on 10 July.
*8 [[April 2012|April]]: In a private [[Facebook]] notice, Chris announces that he has finally lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]: Chris planned to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*12 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris' [[Facebook|status updates]] are leaked.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

28 October 2011

2012-04-17T23:37:22Z

Dkaien: /* Court dates */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]
On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]].

On that fateful Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m.<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos</ref>, [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its [[manajerks|manager]], [[Michael Snyder]]. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]] in November. A bit of a delay, but it turns out, he and Barb had been [[jerkop|arrested]] and jailed for various offenses (trespassing, assault, and hit & run). Now both have been charged with a Class 5 Felony, which implies "a '''term of imprisonment of not less than one year''' nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref>

Both Chris and Barb were bonded out on 29 October<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref>, with Chris's initial hearing being a week later than Barb's - possibly owing to the extra charge against him. It may also allow for additional information to be gathered about on his record of dealings with Michael Snyder and the GAMe PLACe, and also to consider any [[autism|medical grounds]] that may affect the outcome of any court proceedings against Chris. The Chandlers will be represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.

This is the first major event that has come to light since the death of [[Bob Chandler]] on 6 [[September 2011]].

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information]. At present we do not have a full account of what happened during the incident and under what circumstances the charges were brought against the pair. However, based on at least one previous incident in [[June 2010]], we can assume a rough outline of events.

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident.
The reason for the lawsuit and what damages are being sought is currently unknown besides that it is related to the 28 October event. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On April 5th, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Card.PNG|thumb|Chris's only chance.]]

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the CWCki, plastering them on the front page as well as Michael's own article, with Chris presumably doing it as a response to the events at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the respective image descriptions, Chris claimed that Snyder molests children and taunted him for his [[obesity]].

In the February Facebook leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colours other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the Game Place a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]], in which Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from the manbaby himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU

Particularly telling is Chris stating that Michael Snyder wanted to lure him in with an announcement of a "Pokemon tournament on the 22nd", despite Michael himself saying [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azjF90Q7JFA in this video] ''(that Chris himself used as proof)'' that he ''really'' hoped that Chris didn't show up.

== Photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan Art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

28 October 2011

2012-04-17T23:36:54Z

Dkaien: /* Court dates */

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]
On '''28 October 2011''' - a date which will live in infamy - [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]].

On that fateful Friday evening, around 5:20 p.m.<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos</ref>, [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe and had an altercation with its [[manajerks|manager]], [[Michael Snyder]]. Chris took several photos of Michael on that day, and uploaded them to the [[CWCki]] in November. A bit of a delay, but it turns out, he and Barb had been [[jerkop|arrested]] and jailed for various offenses (trespassing, assault, and hit & run). Now both have been charged with a Class 5 Felony, which implies "a '''term of imprisonment of not less than one year''' nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref>

Both Chris and Barb were bonded out on 29 October<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref>, with Chris's initial hearing being a week later than Barb's - possibly owing to the extra charge against him. It may also allow for additional information to be gathered about on his record of dealings with Michael Snyder and the GAMe PLACe, and also to consider any [[autism|medical grounds]] that may affect the outcome of any court proceedings against Chris. The Chandlers will be represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Robert B. Bell|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates.

This is the first major event that has come to light since the death of [[Bob Chandler]] on 6 [[September 2011]].

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information]. At present we do not have a full account of what happened during the incident and under what circumstances the charges were brought against the pair. However, based on at least one previous incident in [[June 2010]], we can assume a rough outline of events.

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. It's likely that this occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, thought to be vehicular damage on the grounds of The GAMe PLACe parking lot.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - To be presented to the grand jury on felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident.
The reason for the lawsuit and what damages are being sought is currently unknown besides that it is related to the 28 October event. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On April 5th, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

== Aftermath ==
[[File:Card.PNG|thumb|Chris's only chance.]]

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the CWCki, plastering them on the front page as well as Michael's own article, with Chris presumably doing it as a response to the events at The GAMe PLACe.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the respective image descriptions, Chris claimed that Snyder molests children and taunted him for his [[obesity]].

In the February Facebook leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the soo-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colours other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the Game Place a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]], in which Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from the manbaby himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU

Particularly telling is Chris stating that Michael Snyder wanted to lure him in with an announcement of a "Pokemon tournament on the 22nd", despite Michael himself saying [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azjF90Q7JFA in this video] ''(that Chris himself used as proof)'' that he ''really'' hoped that Chris didn't show up.

== Photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
</gallery>

==Fan Art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Template:Da update

2012-04-17T23:33:25Z

Dkaien:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>

*16 [[April 2012|April]]: After a two year absence, Chris returns to [[Twitter]] to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]]. Meanwhile, Chris and Barbara are set for trial on their felony charges.
*8 [[April 2012|April]]: In a private [[Facebook]] notice, Chris announces that he has finally lost his [[virgin with rage|virginity]].
*5 [[April 2012|April]]: The Ruckersville Two attend yet another hearing. They are to be sent to a Grand Jury on April 16 regarding [[28 October 2011|their felony cases]], with their other charges being rendered ''[[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|nolle prosequi]]''.
*31 [[March 2012|March]] and 1 [[April 2012|April]]: Chris posts [[Facebook#Shooting_Myself_in_the_Foot|two new notes on Facebook]].
*24 [[February 2012|February]]: [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] releases a grand number of [[Tomgirl]] videos aimed at [[Jackie]], who is apparently back in contact with Chris: "[[The Red-Maned Deer]]", [[Cakefarts]], [[Chris and Jackie's Date‎]], [[You're Always Pretty]] (a wild Snorlax appears!), [[Little Tomboy Blue‎]], [[Who's Your Brony?]], [[Forgot the Glitter‎]], "[[Teenage Dream]]" and [[Cheerleader]]. Chris [[Birthday|becomes]] the 30-Year-Old [[Virgin]]. He gets a [[PlayStation Vita]] and hundreds of dollars' worth of games.
*17 [[February 2012|February]]: [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|CWCville helps]]: Chris planned to raise money for charity by opening a lemonade stand.
*12 [[February 2012|February]]: Chris' [[Facebook|status updates]] are leaked.
<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Michael Snyder

2012-04-09T00:25:01Z

Dkaien: /* Shit gets real (2011-) */

{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! JEW! '''Mike:''' He probably will.|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 55)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| JEW (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011-)
|-
|}

'''Michael "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</ref>; Hebrew מִיכָאֵל שניידר) is the [[manajerk|owner]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (now Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, giving him [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] to rage at.

Due to his [[Naive|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> and even a [[pedofork| child molester]].<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris got legal charges for a more serious attack.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, scaring the small children he played card games with, picking fights with other players, and generally being a racist, homophobic creep. He would truck his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in public, and so on.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>

The trigger for his permanent ban in [[August 2008]] was a shouting match with a young [[niggos|black kid]]. That particular incident was merely the straw that broke the camel's back, though "Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point," says [[Mimms]].

Predictably, Chris did his best to resist getting kicked out of the store. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce response from [[Barbara Chandler]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication is that Chris will never be allowed back into the store.

In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris offers his own chronology and version of events. There, he claims that he was thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. The so-called "Wii Incident", according to Chris, was when Michael Snyder forced Chris to stop bogarting the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of children to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry and wrote a letter, sign, or simply scrawled a note on the side of a card box stating "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]." This, Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw and he booted him then.

Chris is vague about why he thinks he was banned; he has said that ''"Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."''<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>

==Years of hatred (2008-11)==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville... BURNS TO THE GROUND! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

On 12 April 2010, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris confronted Michael]] in an attempt to get back into The GAMe PLACe. In his anger, Chris ends up [[South Park|calling him a Jew]] as an insult.

Based on comments from earlier in the audio recording, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion about Michael's religion on account of his last name. In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. Michael himself is a goy.

In a [[100 2178|more recent video]], Chris linked Michael to a conspiracy he believes the [[Greene County]] school board have staged against him to keep him down, and calls Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

Chris's violent urges against Snyder periodically came to the surface, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref> or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris drove to the PLACe and Mike appeared on YouTube and commented ''"Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. they witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it."'' Chris claimed that he wanted to take a photograph of Snyder to use as a dartboard, but when Snyder saw him with his camera outside, he chased Chris. Chris claimed that he tried to drive away, but was accosted by Snyder, a woman he didn't recognize, and the police.<ref>[[6 June 2010]]</ref> Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Snyder did not engage with trolls until [[2010]], when he made several [[YouTube]] comments, most notably : ''"When I go to [[CWCville|hell]], I will hold the door open for you, if not not too busy giving tours. I can't believe I've spent all these years conspiring to make your life more miserable than your fossilized parents could ever dream of. Oh, wait, I wasn't doing that, I've been too busy living my own life. I remember you as a child creeping out all the other [[pokemon]] kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk. Signed, That goddam Michael Snyder."''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</ref>

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that Bob (and, presumably, Barb as well) shares Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central: ''"Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don- didn't like it then and I still don't like it. ''[...]'' Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people- kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.''

==Shit gets real (2011-)==
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and [[Barb]] launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", now owned by Snyder. Chris faces charges of trespass, misdemeanor assault and failure to stop at the scene of an accident; Barb is up for assaulting a [[jerkop]] and failure to stop at the scene of an accident. Mike has also filed a civil suit against them both.

In a Facebook status update from 13 February 2012, Chris recounted a brief dispute with his mother, instigated when Chris flipped off a [[Jerkop]]. He concluded with a somewhat cryptic remark: "I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands." Whether Barbara has developed an irrational hatred of Snyder to match her son's, or whether Chris is simply being overdramatic, remains uncertain.

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2012-04-09T00:07:38Z

Dkaien: /* Chris vs. Fashion Square */

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall. OMG!!! A [[Hex Bawx]] Store!!!]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and he has twice been forcibly removed from the premises, once for loitering and once for creating a loud disturbance. Nevertheless, it remains one of the fixtures of his existence outside his home, and he frequently encourages his fans or interested people to meet him there.

'''Fun Fact:''' The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act. The only relevance this has with Chris is that he also caused terror there himself to many [[gal pal|YOUNG LADIES]] and [[jerkop|security guards]].

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was here that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had here, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "hi" to manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit.

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris was seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

In early 2012, Chris's leaked [[Facebook statuses]] revealed that he had returned to loitering at the mall on a regular basis. His "normal plan" at the mall, according to the leaks, is to "sit, hang and wait for a Ms. Right."

On 4 February, he managed to get himself in trouble again, by leaving flyers decrying [[Michael Snyder]] around the mall. A security guard found them and attempted to speak to Chris about them. Chris then fled the mall and drove away.

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] reveal that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|34ueHWOKMh0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Stub}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Charlottesville Fashion Square

2012-04-09T00:01:53Z

Dkaien: /* Chris and the Fashion Square */

[[Image:FashionSquareMallExternal.jpg|thumb|200px|External view of Charlottesville Fashion Square.]]

[[Image:Fashionsquareretail399 thumb.jpg|thumb|200px|Image from inside the mall. OMG!!! A [[Hex Bawx]] Store!!!]]

'''Charlottesville [[Fashion]] Square''' is one of the original venues for [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] exploits. Like most of his "attraction locations", it hasn't done much for him, and he has twice been forcibly removed from the premises, once for loitering and once for creating a loud disturbance. Nevertheless, it remains one of the fixtures of his existence outside his home, and he frequently encourages his fans or interested people to meet him there.

'''Fun Fact:''' The mall was also used in the Tom Clancy book ''The Teeth of the Tiger'' as the scene of an Islamic [[terrorist]] act. The only relevance this has with Chris is that he also caused terror there himself to many [[gal pal|YOUNG LADIES]] and [[jerkop|security guards]].

==Chris and the Fashion Square==
It was in this mall where Chris met [[Anna McLerran|Anna]] and [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|"The Tale of the Crazy Pacer"]] got its start.

It was here that he had his heart smashed down to 15% by [[Hanna]], and presumably where he (accompanied by [[Bob|his father]]) went on his "date" with [[Emily]], who was later rescued by [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]. It's safe to say that, at one point, a large portion of Chris's time spent outside the house was at this mall.

Due to the misadventures Chris had here, this place holds a significant role in Christory. Say "hi" to manager [[ScotPalazzo]] should you ever visit.

==Chris vs. Fashion Square==
Chris has had trouble with the management and security at Fashion Square on a number of occasions over the years.

On 5 August [[2004]], according to [[CWC's Diary]], Chris's attempts to fish for a girlfriend with a [[Red String of Fate]] were cut short by a [[jerkop]] who destroyed that particular Love Quest accessory. A month later, on 6 September, he had another run-in with a security guard who was apparently treated to a rendition of Chris's "Lonesome Virgin story".

11 September 2004 saw Chris's first partial ban from the mall, forbidding him from returning without a parent to accompany him. His diary doesn't explain exactly why he was banned, but [[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]] dramatizes the day's events. Reading between the lines of the comic book version, Chris was loitering and soliciting with his [[Attraction Sign]], became belligerent with security, and was arrested and removed from the mall.

Chris was apparently able to return to the mall unaccompanied by the next spring. On 29 March 2005, the infamous date with Hanna took place, after which Chris emitted an anguished "NOOOOOOOO" that led him to being banned from the mall once again.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat#ban|Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie e-mails part 2#ban|Jackie E-mails - Part II]]</ref> [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] indicates that the ban (which again prevented Chris from going to the mall without a parent) was still in effect towards the end of 2008.

According to the reports of a field agent, Chris has been seen 'sperging at the mall accompanied by his parents in the summer of 2010. Subsequently, on 31 August 2010, he was spotted (and filmed) hanging out at the mall alone. This suggests that either the bans have expired, or Chris has managed to [[Flipnote Hatena|evade yet another ban]].

==Chris captured on video==
On the last day of [[August 2010]], the same cameraman who spotted Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] posted this brief snippet on [[YouTube]], showing Chris slumped in a chair and staring creepily at a young woman at the mall.

Chris's [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Clyde Cash]] reveal that he was sitting around waiting to be rewarded for destroying his [[PS3]].

{{collapsible
|Another Rare Glimpse of Chris in Public.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When you see it...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|34ueHWOKMh0}}
| Stardate = 31 August 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==Comic references==
===[[Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode #1]]: "Jerkop-tastropie"===
Dramatization of Chris getting busted by [[jerkop|mall security]] for loitering.

===[[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode #2]]: "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"===
Dramatization of a [[Hanna|girl who works at a Starbucks]] trolling Chris by taking him out on a date.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.simon.com/mall/default.aspx?ID=117 Official Website]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlottesville_Fashion_Square Wikipedia Article]

{{Stub}}
{{Places}}
{{CWCverse}}

[[Category:Attraction Locations]]

Craigslist

2012-02-11T19:00:35Z

Dkaien: /* Chris and Craigslist */

{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

[[File:CraigslistCWC.PNG|thumb|...Of course he's watching [[Family Guy]].]]

'''Craigslist''' is a website where users can conduct business with others. Since its inception, Craigslist has been very useful in the act of selling [[Toys|goods]], [[Monthly Tugboat|job hunting]], providing [[trollbusters|services]] to others, and in many cases simply helping people trying to [[sex|get some action]] from [[Carlos Chantor|local hookers]].
__TOC__

==Chris and Craigslist==
===Personal ads===
In May of 2009, Chris posted a [[:File:Cwc_on_craigslist.jpg|Craigslist ad]] saying that he wants a 18 to 27 year-old boyfriend-free girl who is not [[niggo|black]].[http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/m4w/1197485944.html]. Chris's racism got his ad promptly flagged and removed from the site.

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him.

===Son-Chu===
On 2 August 2009, a [[troll]] posted Chris's [[Son-Chu|'94 Ford Escort]] for sale on Craigslist as part of a [[car pranks|prank]]. Seven months later, a trio of [[The Miscreants|BEST FRIENDS FOREVER]] contacted Chris, expressing interest in purchasing his car and offering their [[Hex Box]]es to sweeten the deal.

===Other fake ads===
On many other occasions, trolls have put up fake Craigslist ads directing would-be buyers of one item or another to [[14 Branchland Court]]. Chris responded to one such incident in his [[14 November 2009|video of 14 November 2009]], in which he also attempted to contact the operators of the website.

===Power Ranger toys===
In a [[Jackie Chat 9|chat with Jackie]] in October 2010, he told her he tried to sell some open [[Power Rangers]] toys, hoping to get $20-$50 for them, even though she showed him an [[eBay]] auction where one sold for $5.50.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Jackie_Chat_7</ref>

===Television===
In October of [[2011]], [[Chris]] put up a listing for a rather old, crappy television that was presumably owned by his [[Robert Chandler|late father]], accompanied by some God-awful, low-quality images of it. Although brief, the listing is practically oozing of Chris clichés such as a poor grasp of [[Chris and English|capitalization skills]], [[Naive|no concept]] of [[Chris and Money|how much things cost]] (for reference, the $250 asking price would easily get you a modern 32-inch HDTV from a major retailer like Best Buy), and unnecessary [[Autism|spewing of generic business jargon]]. It should be noted that the television was manufactured in August, 1999- the same month when Chris started to become infatuated with [[Pokémon]].

{{quotebox|1='''Panasonic 32-Inch CT-32G34A Color Television - $250 (Ruckersville, VA)''' 
Date: 2011-10-18, [[Biological Clock|5:09AM]] EDT 

This Panasonic Television has a 32-inch color screen, it [[Chris and English|gives great display]], it comes complete with its matching Remote Control, and it is in excellent working condition.

It is quite the classic optimal television to watch sporting events, [[Mary Poppins|movies]], [[Family Guy|television shows]] and more on. This type of television defined SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, as well as Thanksgiving Football Watching! Excellent Satisfaction Guaranteed.

For further info, or to schedule purchase and pick-up, please call me at
* 434-760-0848.
CASH ONLY, And Up-Front. [[Chris and Money|$250 or better]] offer; [[Chris and negotiation|NO HAGGLE]].

Thank You and Have a Good Day.}}

====details====
*Model # - '''CT-32G34A'''
*Chassis # - '''RP331'''
*Serial # - '''MD92210277'''
*Power Consumption - '''120V'''
*Date Manufactured - '''August [[1999]]'''
*Assembled in [[Spanish|Mexico]]

== Pictures ==
<center>{{Collapsible|Pictures|<gallery>
File:PanasonicTVFamilyGuy.jpg|A classic, optimal show to suit a classic, optimal television.
File:PanasonicTVSpecs1.jpg|Bad photography at work.
File:PanasonicTVSpecs2.jpg|Even worse photography at work.
</gallery>}}
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==

* [http://charlottesville.craigslist.org/ele/2655617137.html The listing for the TV]
[[Category:Websites]]
* [http://www.manualowl.com/p/Panasonic/CT32G34A/Manual/74279 The TV's manual]

Chris and fashion

2011-11-15T10:13:39Z

Dkaien: /* Fanny pack */

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes. Style is forever.]]
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in the old red, white and blue.|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]g</ref>}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are exclusively purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Therefore, the only clothes he owns are colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts that have been marinating in his [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|bodily stench and fluids]] for the past decade. Since most of them are decorated with horizontal stripes, they only make him look [[Obesity|fatter]].

[[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one (the "Advice Dog" shirt) and possibly all of his shirts were purchased by his cruel, cruel [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] so people will notice the fact that he's [[Autism|"special"]] and [[Kick the Autistic|treat him with sympathy]]. Alternatively, it could be that the Chandlers just aren't exactly what you'd call "fashion savvy". Although his mother doesn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chooses to wear these shirts, possibly out of a strong aversion to change, a common trait of [[autistic]] people.

== Childhood ==
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polo and T-shirts and khaki pants. The only difference compared to today is that he sometimes even dared to wear single-colored shirts with his [[Sonic the Hedgehog|favorite game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only article of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme is the [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he has owned since he was 19. Being yellow, it does not look good on him.

== Trademark clothing ==

[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|left|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring the Horizontal Horror.]]

Chris's classic outfit consists of:

* His favorite shirt, a [http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1cd2b01&deptid=70673&dep=MEN&catid=78744&pcat=MEN&cat=casual+shirts&NOffset=0&pcatid=70673&Ne=4294957900+5+29+3+596+1007+8+1031+18+904+833+949&N=4294938542+269&SO=0&cattyp=RLE&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70673%7c78744 St. John's Bay® Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo] , which is so tight that it accentuates his voluptuous, masculine bosoms. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably draws himself wearing in the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].
* His [[Medallions of Fail|medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]]
* A pair of [[Pedo-Glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically define his rear end to a disturbing level — he may be wearing women's jeans, or he may simply still wear pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* [[Belt Buckle of Fail]]
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for the many [[Chris and death|funerals that plague his existence]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Since late [[2009]], a [[sports bra]] to keep the previously mentioned bosoms in check.

==The "IBA" outfit==
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made friends, Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a terrible goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*Sunglasses over normal glasses (glasses chain remains)
*T-shirt over long sleeved shirt.
*Goatee.
*Tattoo sleeves
*A black vest that is too small for his girth.
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]]

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clownshirts, and claimed that he was pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

==The "Gay Trucker" outfit==

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the [[medallion]] for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person,including a denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of just to look gayer.<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref> The result is a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that Chris tries to look like a bad boy, but he ends up looking like a gay trucker, hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could make it look gayer is by combining it with his [[muscle bra]]. Which, unfortunately, he has. [[Fridays After Five|And in public.]] At this point, going back to the [[Sonichu Medallion]] would actually ''improve'' his chances of picking up girls.

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly express Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that read "Mount and do me". That said, the video was made for a potential sweetheart that Chris desperately wanted to fuck, leaving open the possibility that Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room|bedroom]].

Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to a public, family-oriented concert. He then topped this later, by pulling that shirt over his head, and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written "WANT WOMAN!" The common belief is that these tasteless, sexually themed shirts are the next evolution of the [[attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is both straight and available without ever having to talk to people.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos where he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts (including a [[Manchester High School]] senior class T-shirt which he must have reverently preserved for at least a decade). The effect is interesting, bringing him closer to something like normality than he's been in many years. He's still a pale, sweaty, balding, grotesquely fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that puts him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's t-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more — the Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

==The Carlos Chantor outfit==
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet, too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com.

It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.

==The “Tomgirl” series==
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]

{{main|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In April 2011 a series of pictures were leaked showing Chris dressed in woman’s clothing in public. His new outfit consists of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[homos]]exuality; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eyeliner
* Jeans
* Blue string top
*Black thong
*A silver ring<ref>File:TG6.jpg</ref> (note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge [[F Abstinence|virginity]] until marriage)<ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[glasses]]

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is [[autistic]], observers often speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question. Either way, Christian seems to regard his shirt as an integral part of his identity in the same way that [[trolls]] do.

His fashion sense has shown itself to be evolving in the last year, but moving in cycles. In [[2010]] he seemed to have ditched the [[Sonichu medallion]] and moved into what could be described as a more edgy, hip, aggressive look. His success at being so is on par for course with the rest of his attempts at things.

Of note, during his conversation with [[Kacey]] while posing as [[Liquid Chris]] he claimed to also own a striped shirt like the "impostor". He expressed much joy at the fact that it was red, white and blue, implying owning a shirt was proof of his patriotism.

==Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe, along with links to the videos they appeared in:
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"The Classic" [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|4]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|5]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|7]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|8]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|11]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|12]] [[Sign Destruction Video|13]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|14]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|2]] [[Magical Man Potion|3]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]] [[Wigwam|4]] [[WeighIn|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[This was my fault|1]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|2]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|1]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|2]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|3]] [[A message to the Trolls|4]] [[Don't Mess With Me|5]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Manchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|2]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|3]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2266|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie Shirt" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[For Kacey II|7]] [[To Clyde Gregg|8]] [[For Chris II|9]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|10]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]

</gallery>
</center>

{{Illustrations}}

== Wrist warmer ==

[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

Ever wonder what that thing is behind Chris's neck?

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>}}

Chris most likely wears it as a counter to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

==Fanny pack==
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and [[Mrs. Sanford]].]]
[[Image:0105-MomRetire13.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in '''1996'''.]]
[[Image:0503-CWCAsh4.jpg|thumb|left|[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Pimp mah riiide!]]]]
[[Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|thumb|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp, if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.]]
[[Image:0647-CWCAshAnime.jpg|thumb| Chris, on '''29 May 2004'''.]]

A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and have since been considered to be a fashion faux pas.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

== Cosplaying ==
{{main|Chris and cosplaying}}

== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

RomanticLabyrinth

2011-10-04T21:04:59Z

Dkaien: /* Later versions */

'''An Ol' Classic Dream''', later renamed '''RomanticLabyrinth''', is the tenth animation Chris posted to [[Flipnote Hatena]]. It is essentially one of Chris's [[sex]] fantasies conveyed in Flipnote form and is, of course, completely horrifying. It is, as the name suggests, based on the [[Dreams#The_watery_maze_dream|watery maze dream]], albeit featuring ([[Chris and censorship|censored]]) [[Duck|genitalia]] (complete with erection), nipples, and [[china]], as well as implied [[Giant Penis Comic|sex]] - note that [[Chris and the Internet|this is predictably and clearly against the rules of Flipnote Hatena]]. Chris then demands that his fellow Flipnote Hatena users [[ego|shower him in literally millions of stars]] in order for him to post [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|an uncensored version]], which, of course, would violate the website's terms of service even ''more'' and which, regardless, no one would ever want to see.

Flipnote Hatena, being a family-friendly organization totally antithetical to [[Chris and sex|Chris's perverse delusions]], removed the video minutes after it went up. Fortunately, citizens of the [[CWCki]] were able to save an archival copy of the animation even faster, and [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] had soon mirrored it.

This animation features some of Chris's more disturbing thoughts on romance: sex is love, people fall in love from merely looking at each other, and a stranger getting visibly erect in front of you isn't creepy whatsoever. Needless to say, Chris probably [[Mass Debate|faps]] to this.

Also of note is that, if you look really close near the end of the video (where Chris says "If only I knew who you are in reality") a big black mess appears near his legs, making it look like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|he shat himself]] thinking about this mystery woman.

[[Ivy Q&A|Ivy supplied]] some interesting background to this:
{{Quote|After falling back asleep Chris had a "sticky dream." He said that it had about him and me in a pool, and that as he had been my hero, I could be his heroine too- his “God’s angel mermaid”. He stated that when he woke up there was yet another mess but "not a bad mess”. “Oh, you had a wet dream?"
Chris giggled and said: "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = An Ol' Classic Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|z0iYHA41Ntk}}
| stardate = 27 [[June 2010]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| previous = [[Edit Me]]
| next = [[For Women ONLY]]
}}

==Transcript==

[''A title card appears: "An Ol' Classic Dream... [[Honest Content|18+ Only]]". The "18" appears to have been [[Pedofork|hastily altered from a 13]].'']

[''A maze is displayed, showing a staircase and two dots. The dots move towards each other. The camera zooms in on the dots, and an arrow is drawn pointing to one of them, labeled "ME".'']

[''A [[nudes|naked]], anatomically-correct male stick figure (with a censored [[pickle|penis]]) is shown wading through a watery hallway, presumably within the maze. He looks around and notices something; lines indicating surprise appear over his head. He smiles. The camera moves to the left, revealing a naked, anatomically-correct female stick figure ([[ShecameforCWC.JPG|with censored nipples and vagina]]). The male stick figure's censor box grows longer, indicating an erection. A heart appears in a thought bubble above both stick figures' heads.'']

[''The stick figures are shown in a different, watery room. They move towards each other and make out. A heart appears around the two of them.'']

[''This situation is then shown to be a [[dream]] that Chris is having.'']

[[Lovely Weather|LOVELY WOMAN]], I LOVE YOU! ♥

IF ONLY I KNEW WHO YOU ARE IN REALITY

[''Chris's signature appears above the Flipnote Chris's head.'']

TO ENJOY THIS DREAM UNCENSORED, OFFER A TOTAL SUM OF [[Chris and his Ego|FIVE MILLION]]...

STARS ☆ INCLUDING 100 GREEN, 10 RED, 10 BLUE...

5 PURPLE AND 5 ORANGE.

[[Chris and music|Music: "City in the Clouds"]] by [[Wikipedia:Howard Drossin|Howard Drossin]]

Have a Good and Safe Day. ''Christian W. Chandler.''

== Later versions ==
[[File:ThirdLabyrinth.gif|thumb|The third and final version.]]

As any sane person would expect, the Flipnote mods brought [[List of places that have banned Chris|the hammer]] down on Chris's sex fantasy very, very quickly. And as anybody with even a casual knowledge of Chris would guess, he was less than happy. Not long after the first version was taken down, Chris put up a new version with both characters wearing hastily-drawn-on clothing (reminiscent of the edits made to [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) and the hard-on replaced by a [[semen|strange white cloud]]. This was removed after being reported again. Chris then attempted to upload a ''third'' version, this one preceded by a long self-aggrandizing rant begging the site's administrators not to delete it and to participate in his crusade against any form of negative feedback.

{{quotebox|<nowiki>*</nowiki>I want to NOTE, the "RomanticLabyrinth" FlipNote is NOT

Inappropriate; [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|the People are CLOTHED]], [[Sonichu 10|THERE IS NO VIOLENCE]],

THERE IS [[Nudes|NO FLASHING]]! I WILL NOT BE DELETED FROM TROLLS WHO...

FALSELY REPORT MY ROMANTIC FANTASY AND MY STRAIGHTNESS AS A VIOLATION,

Just so those [[Troll|DANG Idiots]] can get away portraying me as a Homosexual Which IS WRONG!!!

Admins of F.N. Hatena who see my complaint here, please monitor ALL comments posted

anywher [''sic''] on F.N.H.; it is Very Difficult to Locate and Block Every Single One, Only to have them

create NEW Accounts ONLY TO Continue Trolling Me Like They've done so far. And please

allow me to keep my account on F.N.H. and allow my RomanticLabyrinth to Stay as my

Own FlipNote On the Hatena in the name of MY Right to speak of myself for myself and

Not be described by False Rumors fabricated by the Trollin' Stupid People.

Thank You. Peace, Christian Weston Chandler.}}

The second version followed after the text. The mods deleted this one so quickly that nobody was actually able to see the video on its own page. Its thumbnail is all the evidence we have that it ever existed at all.

On July 2, Chris attempted to upload the second version a fourth time, which led to his DSi being permanently blocked from the service.

Along with several other videos, the second version was uploaded a ''fifth'' time on July 24, after Chris linked his DSi to a different account to evade his [[List of places that have banned Chris|ban]]. As one point, the fifth upload had over [[4-cent_garbage.com|9001 stars]]. It was taken down on 26 July.

Shortly after the fifth version was taken down, Chris uploaded the second version a ''sixth'' time. It has yet to be taken down.

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena| 2010-06-29]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, June 2010| 2010-06-29]]

Chris and religion

2011-10-04T07:09:59Z

Dkaien: /* Chris and other faiths */

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1 Cor 13:11<ref>[http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm]</ref>, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris not understanding how Professional help works<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion; like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[sex]], [[Anger|hatred]], [[Race|intolerance]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[Julie|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[Lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naive|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was; under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[File:Cwcandf.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's supposed relationship with God]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]], also in this pic, BLASPHEMY!]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|[[Asperchu/Background|Radar]] sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[ego]]tism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris [[fail]]s at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Mohammad Reza Pahlavi|Shah of Iran]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, <ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all Seven Deadly Sins===
The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is a conception of the Catholics founded through doctrine Pope Gregory I established through a revised list of monk Evagrius Ponticus' list of the eight terrible temptations. Catholics, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Seeing as this is Catholic doctrine, Protestants do not typically share this belief. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': His [[Love Quest]]. Between all the purchases of [[sex toys]] and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought, it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. (See also [[Chris and Sex]]).
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. (See also [[Chris and Money]]). He's even gone so far as to [[The MovingForward videos|destroy his PS3]] in an attempt to gain money.
*'''Sloth''': Obvious; see ''Gluttony''. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the [[Internet]], Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year. He believes doing routine household [[chores]] is [[stress|"stressful"]] and an equivalent to holding a real job.
*'''Anger/Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris and anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': [[Jerks|His attitude towards other men]] as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than ''anyone'', let alone Christians, should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's [[Autism|self-centered worldview]] and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life, while being told that he is perfect in every way, because having autism makes him special. Chris has been told his entire life that the fact that he has autism means that he should have everything handed to him on a silver platter. (See also [[Chris and his Ego]])

===Failure Of All Seven Heavenly Virtues===
In Christianity, where there is sin, there is redemption. In Christianity there are four Cardinal virtues, which were initially derived from Plato's Scheme from Protagoras and were adapted by Saint Ambrose, Augustine of Hippo, and Thomas Aquinas. In the early Church there were also three theological virtues. In Catholicism these virtues were combined to make '''The Seven Heavenly Virtues'''. These are acts of redemption and righteousness that combat the seven deadly sins. Chris fails at all of them.

*'''Chastity''' '''-''The virtue against Lust''-''': Chris, however, lives accordingly with this virtue, to an extent. As a [[Virgin with rage]] Chris may always live in chastity in the sexual way. But chastity is more than just sex, its cleanliness through cultivated good [[Chris and health|health and hygiene]], and maintained by refraining from [[alcohol|intoxicants]]. Chastity is embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. Part of chastity is to be honest with oneself, one's family, one's friends, and to all of humanity. Chastity is the ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption. Chris however lives in filth all day, everyday, eats [[McDonalds|unhealthy food]], and started drinking not too long ago. Chris [[lies|lies All The Fucking Time]]. Chris hasn't tried to better himself since he graduated from college, despite the efforts of [[trolls]], [[white knights]], and [[jerkop|authority]] [[Manajerk|figures]]. Chris loses his anger frequently, masturbates constantly, and spends taxpayer money like it's going out of style.
*'''Temperance''' '''-''The virtue against Gluttony''-''': Temperance to put it simply is restraint, moderation, and taking action at the appropriate time. Chris has no restraint when it comes to his social security. He buys whatever he can afford the instance he sees and wants it whether he needs it or not, almost always the latter. Chris has spent money he doesn't have via his credit cards or his parent’s credit cards.
*'''Charity''' '''-''The virtue against greed''-''': Charity is generosity, charity, and, self-sacrifice. The closest Chris has come to generosity is paying for ebay and other shit for [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], and not out of being generous, but to either buy her forgiveness, or in attempts to have sex with her. Whether he gives to charity is unknown, but usually you have to have sympathy for others or want to help others, Chris always wants to ''receive'' sympathy and help. Chris hardly sacrifices anything. Chris only sacrifices if he has something to gain, not for the sake of others or to be pious. He sacrificed a few games out of his hundreds for money, and [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3 in hopes of being paid over $9,000.]] Even when sacrificing a little would better him he is extremely [[Chris_and_negotiation|stubborn]].
*'''Diligence''' '''-''The virtue against Sloth''-''': Diligence is strong work ethic, determination, holding true to your beliefs, and courage. Chris has no work ethic, At All. He only works when he's "inspired", and then at most its only for an hour. Chris is determined in the sense he hasn't given up on Sonichu after all the harassing, but determination also means finishing what you started. Saying ''''"I'M WORKING ON IT!"''' and doing nothing, or quitting for months at a time isn't determination. Chris started [[Sonichu_11|''Sonichu'' #11]] in [[August 2009]], skipped finishing it, and started [[Sonichu_12|''Sonichu'' #12]] in [[February 2010]]. Chris does hold true in his beliefs, but will flip flop between hating [[homos]] every once in a while. When it comes to courage, well, Chris is a pussy. He always hides behind his parents when it comes to the law, [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], and [[Kacey_and_Liquid_Call|uncomfortable phone conversations.]] The one time Chris almost got into a physical fight as an adult was with a large black man named [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_Attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ]], in which he quickly re-worded what he said, sank back down in his seat, and stopped making eye contact. Yet, Chris [[death_threats|threatens people constantly]]. When Chris was threatened over the Internet, he hid under stuffed animals on his couch for a day. <ref>[[Death_threats#Chris_as_recipient]]</ref>
*'''Patience''' '''-''The virtue against Wrath''-''': Patience is forbearance and endurance through moderation, resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence, and giving the grace of forgiveness and mercy. Chris is none of this. He doesn't wait for sales, he buys what he wants, when he wants, whether he has money or not. Chris will try to resolve conflicts peacefully, at first, but quickly starts threatening if his demands aren't met. When it comes to forgiveness, the closest he ever came was three forgiveness blessings, some of which he took back. He's said he forgives [[Mary Lee Walsh]], but still holds a grudge in his [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|Autism Tutorial]]. He forgives [[Michael Snyder]], then says he [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|hopes he dies a fire with the The GAMe PLACe.]] Chris extremely unmerciful. He took; [[Clyde Cash]], [[Jack Thaddeus]], [[Evan]], [[Mao#Asperpedia|Mao]], and [[Alec Benson Leary]], tortured and killed them in [[Sonichu_10|''Sonichu'' #10]].
*'''Kindness''' '''-''The virtue against Envy''-''': Kindness is charity, compassion and friendship for its own sake. Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. Once again Chris doesn't meet nearly any of this. Chris has compassion for no one. When his [[Aunt Corrina]] died, Chris seemed more upset that he missed out on stuffing his fat fucking face at a pancake breakfast for her funeral. Chris has no male friends at all, for he thinks all men are [[jerks]]. All his [[gal-pals]] are potential women Chris wants to have sex with; this is not friendship for its own sake. Chris doesn't trust men because of prejudice and resentment. Chris is nothing but selfish, and is only kind to get [[china]] or something he wants.
*'''Humility''' '''-''The virtue against Pride''-''': Humility is modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination; a hermeneutic of suspicion toward yourself and charity toward people you disagree with. The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. Reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.
This may be a long definition, but this is needed for emphasis. Chris fails harder at humility than any other virtue. He is not humble in any way, shape, or form. Chris is not modest at all, be it his body, his achievements, or his personal information. He is pretentious, narcissistic, and his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is out of control. Chris is selfish; he spends taxpayer money and his parents money on himself, and when someone wants something from him he finds some idiotic way out of it. He wants everything for nothing. Chris only respects himself, his father (sometimes), and world leaders. He has no respect for authority because it inconveniences him, and men because he has to compete against them for china, and they may [[Homos#Fear_of_being_a_homo|cause him to fall off the straight path.]] Chris only thinks of himself, and highly at that. Chris is dishonest when he self-examines himself. He refuses to believe he's anything more than chubby, when by basic BMI standards he's obese. Chris won't do anything that he finds difficult, even if it is easy for functioning members of society. [[Chris and Art|He thinks his art is extraordinary and can't be improved.]] He believes he's not [[naïve]], though he's extremely inexperienced. Chris shuts his mind and insults anyone who disagrees with him. Chris disregards the advice of experienced professionals alot. Chris criticizes people better than him, and art that is substantially better than his, claiming he and his work is better. Chris breaks promises and commitments constantly, by either half-assing it, feigning ignorance, lying about fulfilling his obligation, or lying about the agreeing to do so to begin with. And finally Chris falls into [[stress]] and despair when he doesn't win, and avoids confrontation at all costs.

===Breaking all Ten Commandments===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either.

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father.
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of [[Wikipedia:Halakha|Halakha]], Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos]]exuality is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokémon|Pikachu]]?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]! [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2020:6&version=NIV Leviticus 20:6]''' "I will set my face against the person who turns to Mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people." Chris has claimed to hear the voices of [[Aunt Corrina]], his [[Cherokian Clan|other]] [[Daniel Weston|ancestors]], and GodJesus at the former's funeral, all giving approval to his [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[china]].<ref>[[Sarah May Skype Logs]]</ref>

However, when Christianity first became a religion, Saint Paul came up with the new covenant, so all the bits about circumcision, sacrificing goats, eating a kosher diet, and other Levitical laws no longer apply. Anyone who claims to be a Christian and still follows the Levitical laws isn't really a Christian so much as an ultra-orthodox Jew, or a [[Wikipedia:Seventh-day Adventist Church|Seventh-day Adventist]]. Also, many of Jesus' teachings abolish many of the Leviticus and Deuteronomy laws, such as food by in which Jesus said '''"''It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.''"''' There are a few ultra-fundie Christians who follow some of the old Leviticus laws due to a passage on Matthew, but all of this is irrelevant in the first place since Chris neither reads the Bible or seriously cares about Christianity.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> Although, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex already by [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian churches===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Wikipedia:Jerry Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Other than not being Christian, he probably hates Muslims because he's enough of a dumbass to likely believe all Muslims are terrorists because of 9/11, [[Twin Falling Towers|which he mocked]].

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> When following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate about his thoughts regarding Scientology, he said that while he does not agree with it he does not disapprove of it either.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List_of_OkCupid_Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' athiest". The video was removed because it was declared, and rightfully so, hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

List of restaurants

2011-09-30T16:04:50Z

Dkaien:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Chris]] isn't much of a cook, nor is anyone else currently living at [[14 Branchland Court]]. When he's not eating reheated frozen dinners, he's usually chowing down at a variety of local '''restaurants'''.

==McDonald's==
{{main|McDonald's}}
Chris's cheap-and-easy fast food of choice. When he wanted to cut down on his Big Mac and McNugget intake, he stopped eating there...more than twice a week or so.

== Burger King ==
{{main|Burger King}}
Chris favors McDonald's, while [[Bob]] prefers its rival Burger King. Thus, Chris appears to usually eat here when he's out with his father.

== Chick-fil-A ==

[[Image:ChickFilA.jpg|thumb|right|Admittedly, the store might've been a [[Chris and writing|literary influence.]]]]

'''Chick-fil-A''' is a fast-food restaurant chain originating in the American south that Chris frequents, famous for its chicken sandwiches and always being closed on Sundays (due to their founder's Christian "seventh day of rest" beliefs). Reputedly one of the most 'healthy' fast food options;<ref>http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/11230/americas-bestand-worstrestaurants</ref> however, Chris has mentioned it much less often than its [[Chris and health|artery-clogging]] big brother, [[McDonald's]].

Possibly its lack of marketing campaigns aimed at children and foolish sweepstakes or [[My Coke Rewards|"reward programs"]] keep Chick-fil-A from maintaining the loyalty of creepy loitering manchildren. Thus, [[Chris]] has never been banned from a Chick-fil-A in an [[Sonichu 3#Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"|epic showdown]] battling [[jerkops]].

===Appearances===
*Chris met up with [[Emily]] in front of the Chick-fil-A at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. [[Apology to Emily|Or at least tried to by calling out to the patrons (who were undoubtedly amused and perplexed)]].

*The Fashion Square Chick-fil-A was the site of one of the missed meetings between Chris and [[Surfshack Tito]]'s agents during the drama over destroying Chris's [[PS3]].

*The [[CWCville Shopping Center]] includes a lone Chick-Fil-A on the 2nd floor.

== Sheetz ==
Sheetz is a chain of gas station/mini-mart stores common in the southern United States. Among the chain's selling points is an array of fast food options.

===References by Chris===
*Chris ended [[Mumble 5]] by saying he needed to duck out to Sheetz to get his mother a sandwich.
*In the e-mail revealing the [[muscle bra]], Chris mentioned that he'd sought a job application at Sheetz.
*While chatting with [[Sarah May Skype Logs|Sarah May]] in February 2009, Chris noted a trip to Sheetz for gasoline.
*Attempting to defend his dietary choices in one of the [[Kacey Call 8|Kacey phone calls]], Chris claimed that he enjoyed fruit smoothies from Sheetz (which can easily crack 600 calories apiece).

== Country Cookin ==

'''Country Cookin''', spelled without a "G" or an apostrophe (oh, those wacky rednecks) is [[Christian]]'s not-quite-fast-food restaurant of choice. It is a Virginia-based chain of rustic steak house/buffet and grill restaurants, akin to [[Golden Corral]], ''Roadhouse Grill'' or ''Ponderosa/Bonanza Steakhouse'' in the US, and ''Harvester'', ''Beefeater'' or ''Brewer's Fayre'' in the [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|United Kingdom]].

He has mentioned it on several occasions and even has taken his troll friend [[Joshua Martinez]] there.

===References by Chris===
* In an e-mail conversation with [[Anna McLerran]] from 2007, Chris mentioned his regular trips to the restaurant with Joshua.
* In [[Mumble 2]], Chris mentioned Country Cookin as one of his favorite restaurants.
* A Country Cookin branch is located in the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

== Golden Corral ==

'''Golden Corral''' is an all-you-can-eat buffet chain, well-known in the American South and Midwest as ''the'' place to go for a maximum ratio of calories consumed to cash expended. Just don't think too much about where it all came from. During Chris's [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], [[Bob]] mentions that he had a heart attack there while paying for the family's meal<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript#Bob.27s_health_problems_revisited_.2829:59_-_32:11.29</ref>. Despite this, it was one of Chris's favorite places to eat, probably since he could [[obesity|stuff his face]] with fatty, low quality food at a [[Chris and money|low price]]. However, it is now out of business and has been replaced by a Japanese buffet.<ref>http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/cdp-news-local/2010/jun/11/golden_corral_to_close_doors-ar-319488/</ref>

===References by Chris===
*[[Caitlin]], a waitress Chris had a crush on for a day or so, worked at Golden Corral.
*In [[Mumble 2]], he mentioned that it's one of his favorite places to eat.
*Describing his ideal date spots in an [[IRC (18 December 2008)|IRC chat]], Chris proposed Golden Corral as a second-date destination.
*Chris's visits to the Corral with his family seem to be tightly scheduled. In a [[MySpace]] conversation from 04 September 2005, he noted that they'd be there from 3:30 to 4:45 the next day.
*Perhaps because of that precise schedule, or perhaps because he was simply overwhelmed by [[stress]], during his final [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13|Skype conversation with BlueSpike]] Chris unexpectedly abandoned the conversation to take off for the Corral.
*In his profile at [[The Hook Cafe]] he lists it as his favorite restaurant.

==References==
<references/>

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Duck

2011-09-30T15:46:12Z

Dkaien: /* Chris and his duck */

{{Incomplete}}
{{Honest}}
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]

{{quote|ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.|Chris, on his duck.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref>}}

{{quote|MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR [[china|TOM-TOM]] TO POUND!!!!!|Chris, [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]}}

'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat that it is an intentional euphemism.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

==Chris and his duck==
[[Image:Loch Ness.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Indeed a monster.]]
[[Image:BentDuck.jpg|thumb|right|Another example of a bent duck]]
Chris's penis is bent at a [[Nudes|horrifying 45° angle]], though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or that he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref> He even [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_the_CWCki#8_May.2C_03:09_-_03:16|edited]] the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref>

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|an e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. In the [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] [[:File:TG20.jpg|images]], leaked in [[April 2011]], his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his [[Wikipedia:pubic hair|pubic hair]]. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

In a [[Cwcsicle|video]] made sometime in the winter of 2008-2009, Chris nearly gave his duck frostbite by sticking it in snow for 15 minutes.

==References by Chris==
[[Image:1256079873949.jpg|thumb|Anatomical analysis of the duck.]]
*One of the annotations from [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]] is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
*In his final [[SingStar_Challenge#Video_11|SingStar Challenge]] song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by [[CChanSonichuCWC]]), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying ''duck'' instead of ''dick.''
*Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the [[Kacey]] chats) or angry (in one of the [[White Knight emails]], he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring [[Rosechu]] with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
*In an [[IRC (24 October 2008)|IRC chat]] from October 2008, Chris said, concerning [[Jimmy Hill]], "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.

==Sauces==
<references />

==See also==
* [[Nudes]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Comeuppance]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Nudes

2011-09-30T15:43:47Z

Dkaien: /* History */

{{Honest}}

[[Image:CWCnudes.jpg|thumb|right|Typical reaction to Chris Chan nudes.]]

On several occasions, '''nude''' photographs and screencaps showing [[Chris]]'s uncovered or scantly covered body, often including his [[duck|genitals]], have leaked onto the [[Internet]].

==History==
The first nudes were obtained by [[Lordsillynipples]], a [[troll]] posing as Chris's off-and-on sweetheart [[Blanca Weiss]]. They hit the Internet on [[Twin Falling Towers|11]] [[September 2008]] and were quickly followed by a second round of photos released five days later by trolls who hacked Chris's e-mail account. They included photos of a mostly-naked Chris standing around in his room, close-up shots of his flaccid [[duck]] with a crude cartoon of [[Sonichu]] on it, and the infamous photo of Chris posing in his [[mother]]'s underwear.

In the first set of nudes, Chris was smart enough not to include his face in any of the pictures. However, he was foolish enough to take them in what was clearly his room, complete with a picture of [[Rosechu]] visible in the background.

21 September 2008 saw the release of webcam-snapped photos showing more of Chris's penis. On 25 September, they were followed by a series of [[Chris Sex Videos|sex videos]] Chris recorded at the behest of his would-be sweetheart [[PandaHalo]]. These featured Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] and employing the [[fapcup]], and gave the world a good look at the joint in his duck for the first time. Even more masturbation videos hit the web two weeks later, on 6 [[October 2008]].

Chris's blow-up doll sex tape, [[For Julie's Eyes Only]], is perhaps the most famous exposure his body has ever received. It was leaked on 20 [[February 2009]]. It came close to being equaled on 16 [[April 2009]], however, when Chris recorded a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|series of videos]] for his new sweetheart [[Ivy]] where (among other things) he stripped naked, danced in his shower, and spanked himself on camera.

After the [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video, leaked on 27 [[April 2009]], Chris's naked body did not reappear on the internet for nearly two years. Unfortunately, it did not leave us for good. He showed off his duck once again (to what he believed was a limited audience) in the [[Cwcsicle]] clip, leaked in [[March 2011]], and more bare flesh followed a month later in the [[Tomgirl Pictures]].

==Drawn nudes==
On several occasions, Chris has drawn images depicting himself, his friends, or characters from his comic without clothes on, often engaging in sexual acts. For information on these images, see [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]].

==Gallery of horrors==

{{gallery
|Fair warning is given, viewing these images may result in blindness and/or copious amounts of vomit.
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Cwcshaven.JPG|The sad thing is, it's longer and wider when it's limp. Plus, the bend isn't as obvious.
Image:CWCMyduck.JPG|The uncensored image constitutes a crime against humanity in accordance with international law.
Image:CWCass.JPG|This was sent to a straight woman, because straight women are turned on by men's asses.
Image:CWCanus.JPG|Yes, Chris, women are turned on by your disturbed anus.
Image:CWCduck.jpg|In all its cut glory.
Image:Bent_duck.jpg|Note the green bathrobe that Chris would later wear in the recycling video.
Image:Cwcduckling.JPG‎|The duck, viewed from another angle.
Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|It is unknown whether drawing Sonichu on his penis was Chris's or lordsillynipples's idea.
Image:fapcupwhy.jpg|Chris using the [[Fapcup]].
Image:CWCs-Weeping-Pickle.jpg|The aftermath from using the Fapcup. Notice how [[navy]] is still dripping from his shrunken duck.
Image:CWCmassdebate.jpg|Screencaps from a [[Chris Sex Videos|webcam video]] shot in the Chandler's filthy kitchen.
Image:Fallingoffbalance.jpg|Chris slips and almost seriously injures himself while dancing naked in his filthy shower.
Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|Guess he's a shower, not a grower.
Image:Spanking3.jpg|Chris spanks himself and films it to impress a girl on the Internet.
</gallery>}}

[[Category:N00dz]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Calling Out

2011-08-18T20:37:51Z

Dkaien: /* Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of six [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-16 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, Unknown
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube|YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and seek a sex-change operation, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, Chris wants to see him trolled not so much out of a tit-for-tat desire for revenge, but rather because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called [[Homos|trannies]], esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole-- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].

And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into femdom, which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Barb|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look.]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown gay. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard.]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... [[homos]]eshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, [[lie|as they ha' been recently.]] I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, on the phone, and uh, blackmailed me into doin' a few things. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee.]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[He slaps his ass.]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

Calling Out

2011-08-18T20:36:11Z

Dkaien: /* Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of six [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-16 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear. It was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, Unknown
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube|YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and that he had a sex-change operation, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, his desire for him to be trolled is less because of what he did to Chris and more because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called [[Homos|trannies]], esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole-- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].

And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into femdom, which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Barb|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look.]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown gay. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard.]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... [[homos]]eshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, [[lie|as they ha' been recently.]] I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, on the phone, and uh, blackmailed me into doin' a few things. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee.]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[He slaps his ass.]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]

Calling Out

2011-08-18T20:35:37Z

Dkaien: /* Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher */

'''Calling Out''' refers to a series of six [[videos]] [[Chris]] uploaded between 6-16 [[August 2011]], following an [[100 2357.MOV|8 month hiatus]] from [[YouTube]].

These videos showcase Chris's [[Tomgirl]] look, where he attempts to make himself look feminine. Chris is sporting new earrings in these videos, two on his right ear and one on his left. His [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] are also absent. [[Chris and cinematography|Chris's camerawork]] in this series is exceptionally shitty, opting to hold the camera with his hand instead of propping it up on a surface. This results in a very shaky, [[Barbara|Cloverfield]]-like viewing experience.

== Calling Out "Tito" - Don ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2461''', Chris announces his return to the [[Internet]]. He claims to have information regarding the true identity of various trolls, including [[Surfshack Tito]] (aka "Don"). After briefly showing viewers a fragment of a photograph of what he claims is the real Tito, Chris lists his demands to prevent the release of the full photo and, presumably, other revealing documents.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Tito" - Don
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gDuIfwZbN3c}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[100 2357.MOV]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Easily trolled by annnyooooneee.jpg|thumb|"... They could be easily trolled back by aaanyone." Intimidated?]]
[''Looks at camera with an emotionless face, and then jerks the camera to his right'']

Attention, citizens of the internet. I am making a return. [[Chris and Ego|Y'all should know me by now]], if in case if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of [[Sonichu|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu|Rosechu]] and the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|electric hedgehog Pokemon]]. Firstly, upon that note, I would like to inform everyone that it was originally meant to be a [[My Little Pony|TV-Y7 rated... friendship socializing, promoting type of series]]... it is not meant to be taken otherwise in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|any adulterous forms]].

[''Jerks camera around more'']

And with that, I will now continue with why I am making my return. I am ready to initiate [[Chris and negotiation|negotiations]] and paybacksss with the trolls, some cyberbullies that have been defiling me within the past five years... in the past four years. Firstly, I would like to make it well known that I have ''information'' of such trolls and cyberbullies if at that point if I release them, they could be easily trolled back by aaanyone. And, the first [[Chris and English|among chopping block]] I would like to ensue, [[Surfshack Tito|'''Surfshack Tito''']]... or should I day, Don in Michigan! And I'm not saying that he's a total [[Obesity|fat person]], but [[Random Access Humor|he would make the really big Buddha look like a supermodel in comparison]]. In fact, with his looks, he could be a [[Inos|Rasta]] Buddha! And I show you only a fragment of the [[speech impediment|pho-to-graph]]. [''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now, DON. Let's talk business. If you do not want me to review- reveal the entire pho-to-graph, or any of the remainder of your information of which I have upon my possession, [[Chris and negotiation|YOU WILL FOLLOW MY DEMANDS]]! And they are listed as such....

I want you to come forward with- come forward with your participation in, uh, [[PlayStation Network]] hackings... directly to [[Sony]] Computer Entertainment America and Sony Computer Entertainment Japan with a ''live video'', unaltered, ay, uh--slightly altered, you MAY blur your face. That is the only option that you get: Blurring your face. You will apologize to... Sony and [[Chris and english|mess up]] for hacking into the PlayStation Network at all, [[Chris and Reality|'cause I know you are responsible for that]].

And also, I would you to, in that- within that same video, or in a separate video, apologize directly to my [[Gal pal|ex-girlfriend]] Heather and her family. You may even call them up on the telephone that you are the one among which responsibole for pretending to be me... and stopping that relationship between us, 'cause I would like to have peace between my... past friends, because I don't like there to be bad things or [[Megan|ill tidings]] between people. ''(Pauses)'' And I know it was partially my fault, too, on that, by the way, within that relationship breakup.

But anyway, moving on with my demands, I would like- also like you to set to-send me via U.S. Mail, ''ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH''. American. Unmarked billssss, snail-mailed to my home address, in a long, small white... envelope, with YOUR home address clearly, legibly, hand writ-ten on the envelope in the return area. Next, I want you to remove ''ALL'' of the -cre-''ALL'' of the pages on the website known as the [[CWCki]] that have originally came from you that you have started. Also, as well as all contributions you have to any other pages as well. And lastly, from this point, after you have done these things, I would like you, ''Don'' of ''Michigan'', to leave me, my [[Lie|life]], my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my [[SonichuBabies|friends]] ''alone''. To be, for the rest of our lives, in peace.

I leave that up to you [[Speech Impediment|Surussshack Tito]]. Expect another video in the near fu- in the near future of another troll that I am well aware of. Thank you.

== Tito's official response ==
In a clear attempt to meet Chris's demands, Tito produced a video in which he explains what lengths he is prepared to go to in order to prevent Chris from releasing his personal information. This video was acknowledged by Chris the following day.
==== Video ====
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Tito's official response to Chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uZhlo94cMNk}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| maker = Surfshack Tito
| subject = Response to Chris's Demands
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}
}}
{{quote|This is official, true, and honest.}}

===== Transcript =====
Heh, hey, little cuz, uh, or, uh, [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]] if you prefer. It's me, uh, Tito, or Don, um. Listen man, I got some sand in the [[Navy|potato salad]] this time; you caught me, cuz. I- I admit it. I sold the security files of [[Sony|Sony]] to the hackers and I'll, uh I'll get you the money! I'll get you the thousand dollars, and the interest! Just don't- just don't release that video, eh with the picture of me, just don't do anymore, man! I'll, uh, I'll do anything, I'll be your [[Niggos|slave]] for a whole week if I have to. I got people after me, I can't have them finding out who I am, just, just be a cuz, man, and-and-and- and don't let me down. I won't let you down.

== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, Chris calls out Thorg (aka "Jeremy", aka [[CWCki]] user [[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]]) and again sets out his demands to prevent the release of a full photograph and revealing documents. Despite his interest in [[Tomgirl|appearing and acting like a woman]], Chris demands that Thorg let the people of New York City know that he likes [[China|China]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|6Fh0p9WXRDc}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Tito" - Don|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
| next = [[#Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"|Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hello, once again, the Internet! I have returned with another troll, cyberbull-y, that I am ware- aware of who he is in real life. I br- I called to your attention Master Thorg, T-H-O-R-G, or as he [is] known in real life, Jeremy, within Canada.

He is a pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. You can find him possibly in a video game store. I leave the specifics disclosed at this time. And, here is a sample of ''his'' [[Speech Impediment|pho-to-graph]].

[''Chris points the camera to the television showing half the face of a man. He then returns the camera to him.'']

Now, Jeremy, let's you and I [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|talk business]] now. My demands are as follows:

Because I know and well awa- and I [am] well aware that you have Photoshopped me into that damned [[:File:Gaybar.png|gay bar]] and uploaded it- have it- you had it uploaded upon the [[20_December_2009#One_of_these_things_is_not_like_the_others|billboards]] in New York City within some time ago. I would like you to make a public apology with your face, you may blur your face out as well, but I would like the statement to follow it:

"That you are- that it is a correction that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am [[Homos|STRAIGHT]], and I have never ever been in a damned gay bar ''ever.''"

And I want that uploaded among the New York City billboards, and I want them left up there for one whole week, from one Sunday to the following Saturday. One, whole, week. Seven. days.

And that I- and also within the statements I would like you to know that I, Christian Weston Chandler, am an [[Chris and anger|all-around good-natured person]], and that I am to be treated and respected as a normal person. I am not a bad person; I do not like to be treated or thought of as a bad person, as I have been made out to be within the [[Trolls|trolls]], including yourself, Jeremy, within your [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|smearing]] and hate campaigns of my name.

My next demand: I would like you to remove all of your pages as well from the CWCki, including every last page and image that you have put up there talking about the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomboy/Tomgirl forum of Virginia]]. Remove them all, as well as your contributions to any pages. And then beyond that after having completed all that, I would like you as well to leave me, my life, my family, and my friends, alone, and at peace, to live our lives respectively as well. I'll leave you all with that. Stay tuned for another revealed troll... or slightly revealed, as I am ON THE PAYBACK! [''laughs maniacally'']

[[Fail|I win]].

== Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg" ==
In this short video, Chris sets a deadline for Don and Jeremy to meet his demands, lest [[jerkops|the authorities]] intervene: 31 August, 2011.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mP4wwvCSS7U}}
| stardate = 6 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{RedBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''Jerks around the camera and makes a wide-eyed, blank face'']

I almost forgot. Between Don and Jeremy, also known as Suresack- [[Surfshack Tito|Surfshack Tito]] and Thorg, my demands, I would like them met before August 31st, 2011, the end of this month. And if my demands are not met before then, I'm gonna reveal your respective real life photographs as well as the rest of the personal information of you two in the- respectively, that I have within my possession. And then you two will b- each be trolled by your own trolls, and the [[Jerkops|police]] will catch up with you.

So, each of you. Meet my demands. Before August 31st... 2011.

[''Fumbles with the camera again, [[Chris and cinematography|almost dropping it]]'']

== Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher ==
Three days later, Chris posted a fourth video, calling out [[Alec Benson Leary]]. He's dropped the request for money and billboards, but now demands that Alec, Tito and Thorg [[Chris and hypocrisy|leave the Internet]]. He later delivers tirade concerning the [[GAMe PLACe]] and its owner, which culminates in accusing [[Michael Snyder]] of being a child molester. Chris's [[speech impediment|poor speaking skills]] are quite prevalent in this video, as he repeats the words "essentially" and "associated" numerous times. He also manages to repeat the ever-classic "My mommy- my family" line from one of his [[For My Sweetest Ivy|videos for Ivy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher
| video = {{#ev:youtube|WN72luEx708}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[#Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]
| next = [[It's not that cold]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
Hello, again, once again. I am here to make another [[trolls|troll]] [[speech impediment|esspos]]e as I have found anudder one amongst the bunch... the bunches! The one called [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Benson Learec- Leary]] is not who he appears to be, and certainly is NOT an original creator of [[Asperchu|Asperchu]]. In fact, he is not even [[Aspergers|AsPERGIAN]]! He does not have Aspergers, and he’s another [[Chris|fatty]] [[Barbara|fat]] [[Robert Chandler|fat]] [[Sammy|fat]] [[Hambeast|fat]]... [[Desi|fat]]. Aaand just le—and I do NOT have a script. I have notes.

[''Holds up a piece of lined paper and a piece of red construction paper'']

I have notes and I form my own script. Anyway, he also has ties with the, uh, [[The GAMe PLACe|Game and Hobby]] place of which he makes donaations, of wid- which I have another esspose about the Game Place. First, here is his closeup.

[''Turns camera towards his television, showing part of a man's face.'']

Now let’s talk... oh yeah, his real name is Christopher. So, [[Homos|Cha-ris]], let’s talk business now. What I would like from you… is essentially a live video apology for all the wrongs you have done to me over the [[Internet|innernet]] including the [[Chris and Copyright|copyright infringement on my Sonichu]] with your CHEAP, poor excuse for a 9-year-old... Asperchu, you immature [[JERKS|jerk]]! And then, I want you to leave the internet for good, and leave me and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|my mom—and my family]]... and friends at peace.

Also, on that note, I wish to make a correction to my demands with [[Surfshack Tito|Don]] and Jeremy. Essentially I have lear- Essentially I have learned from my esteemed colleague associates that [[Chris and the Law|apparently it is extortion]] to request [[Spanish|mucho dinero]], plus the billboard is no longer in effect. So therefore, I essentially still want Don to come forward with his video to Sony and to me publicly apologizing and everything, and the same goes to Jeremy. Public video apology, and both of y’all have to leave the internet for good, and leave me and my family and friends at peace.

Anyway, going back to, uh, Christopher… by the way, I know you’re in Texas. You’re in Texas, you [[Obesity|fatty fat fat]]! He has been donating to the troll cause and such over at The PLACE! The [[The GAMe PLACe|game and hobby place]] of which we are fully aware of and have grown to love and such, but there is more to THE PLACE, and its three associated stores located only within [[Virginia|Virginia]], and I know from cold hard facts... including facts from a Hook article back in August of [[2002|2002]], that... the four stores, their owner, a one Mr. Robert Lightburn... is... a [[Pedofork|child molester]], and convicted sex offender in Illinois.

And think about this! The place in [[Charlottesville|Charlottesville]] is located right across from a school, and it is owned by a child molester! Parents! Children! Associated families! I don’t think you would want anyone who is a minor, or [[Chris and Reality|even under the age of ten]] to go into such a place that is owned by a child molester, and I am sure that in association, even though he is married, [[Michael Snyder]] has his own child molestation skeleton [[Homos|in his closet]]! He probably even molested his own daughter for all I know! I do not have concrete facts, so therefore that is just theory until I am corrected. But the point is the place is owned by a child molester, and nobody should ever, ever go into that place again… and it should be closed down for good! And that’s all I have for this video right now. Stay tuned for another [[slow-in-the-minds|Trroll ess-especial twirl esspose]].

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==
In this video, also known as '''101 2466''', Chris accepts [[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)#Tito.27s_official_response_to_Chris|Tito's attempt to meet his demands]], while Thorg appears to have made no such efforts yet. Chris is still awaiting the money he demanded (apparently forgetting that in the last video he admitted that blackmail was a felony), and another part of Jeremy's face and part of another photo Chris has obtained of him are shown to viewers.

This video also shows us that Chris now has two piercings on each ear, when it was previously believed he had two on his right ear and only one on his left.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9Nn4u9b_hJk}}
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Surfshack Tito|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, Unknown
| previous = [[It's not that cold]]
| next = [[Correction of EX relationship status]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Miss duh dadline.jpg|thumb|but miss the deadline...]]
[[File:CheckYourPriv.jpg|thumb|Y'all best remember to check your privileges, ya hear?]]
Well, it seems I have gotten a well-wise response to my recent videos...from [[Surfshack Tito|master Don]], of which I will now respond to as [[speech impediment|sutss]]. You d-you made a wise descision, Don. I am-as long as I get the money before the end of the month, I will withhold the photographs and the other information. I can promise you that, but miss the deadline... ''[widens his eyes and stares into the camera]'' and you certainly don't have to be my slave for a week. I mean, aside from the [[Niggos|slave laws]] and everything. ''[shakes head and sighs]''

Anyway, apparently I have learned from my esteemed colleague that Thorg, master Jeremy, is still not convinced I mean businesss. Well, just to show you, Jeremy, that I mean businesss, I'm going to reveal a little bit more about you.

Here is a closeup--another closeup of that pho-to-graph zoomed in on your pizza face! ''[looks off-camera at the picture and zooms in on a different part]'' Excuse me a moment. ''[whispers]'' alright, ''[mumbles, as air conditioner gets louder]'' as well as a zoom-in on a possibly more current, or possibly previous pho-to-graph of yourself. Aaand, I'm gonna reveal a couple of random tidbits about you from my notes!

Once again, Jeremy lives in Can-a-da...and he likes the typical geeky things, without being stereotypical, of course, and not offending anyone of the sort, because I am considerably one myself, because I like [[Pokemon|Pokemon]], [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Yu-Gi-Oh!]], and all- and [[My Little Pony|that sort]]. Apparently, uh, he is a LARPer. Live action role playing! As it was portrayed in that episode of [[Wikipedia:The Tester|The Tester]]!

''[begins to speak in a high-pitched, singsongy voice]''

"Oh, look at me, I'm [[Chris and English|trollicking]] about! We are going to be warriors and whatnot! Yay, we won the things! [[Chris and Reality|And then we're future cops, sent being- mall-for future mall cops]]! Mall cops of the future! La, la la, la la, la la! We're LARPing about! LARP LARP LARP LARP! LARP. LAAAARP. LARP! Lorp."

And we know that the atheist does not like [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|having his mind changed]] about [[GodJesus|God]]. I mean, I gotta tell you, man, God is all-powerful. How do you think the [[speech impediment|Earss]] was created aside from the big bang? Who had to put the big bang together? God! And I know from my bible ''[shows bible]'', my hand on it, that between him and [[GodJesus|Jesus]], they're pretty powerful! They're pretty powerful individuals... and I believe in them. They have- I mean, Jesus has done a lot with his miracles before he had to [[Obesity|weigh]] the cross, which I just [[Chris and his Ego|empathize]] with him on that,i mean.

''[closes eyes and inhales through teeth]'' it's like I can feel the thorns that were drug-that were drudge, plowed through his hands and his feet! [[Fail|Thorn of crowns]]. Mm. Empathy is a powerful thing.

But...I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have God or Jesus at my-by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists...are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer...I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!

You have until August 31st to reply and follow my demands of admitting...your wrongdoings, and making the public apologies via [[YouTube|YouTube]] video, as I am a-well aware, as I have made note, but apparently the billboard is no longer an option. Anyway, between the YouTube public apology, and leaving the internet alone, AND leaving me, my [[Chandler Family Tree|family]], my friends at peace, that is what I demand of you, master Jeremy. ''[air conditioner gets louder]''

Your move. 'Cause if you're not, fulfill- if you don't don't respond by the 31st, [''[[death threats|snaps fingers and widens his eyes]]''] I mean business. Check your privileges!

== Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya ==

Chris, [[Homo|lipstick and all]], threatens [[Jack Thaddeus]]. Unlike his reveal on [[Thorg]], Chris becomes two-faced as he accepts Jack's desire to be a transvestite and that he had a sex-change operation, yet he attacks Jack because he chases after guys. Like the reveal on Thorg, his desire for him to be trolled is less because of what he did to Chris and more because Chris found out he was [[homos]]exual. Interestingly, Chris gives Jack ten extra days to come up with his apology video and to leave the Internet.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
| video = {{#ev:youtube|w1SN9Jl-DTk}}
| stardate = 16 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Blue tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Kaka Makeup Basics]]
| next = '''Current'''
}}
{{quote|Blackmailing me to hump your Playstation 3 causing great embarassment, to sing "It's okay to be gay", and he Posted disgusting advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:BI.jpg|thumb|The one time you wish he was wearing DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.]]
[''Chris sits down and sighs.''] Good day. I felt that it's appropriate to dress in my feminine attire as I- as you can see fits. [''He stretches out one leg, trying to show off his ass.''] Because I am definite calling out one Jack Thaddeusss, and we happen to share ''[He lifts his leg and rests it on his knee, giving the camera a buffalo shot.]'' some similar common interests, a few of which. Like, uh, yes, we can- we- we do accept the adj- we both accept the adjective of being called [[Homos|trannies]], esscept for him, he's, uhh, he's just went through a whole-- the whole gender-changing operation. Yep. Lopping off his [[Pickle|dick]] and puttin' on the ol'... an' gettin' it tucked in. I am not- I would never chop- I would never do that to- [[Homos#Fear of becoming a homo|I would never do that.]] Go and have a sex change operation. I'm proud to be a male, and I'm even more proud to be a [[tomgirl]].

And we both like to cross-dress, yes. And we both are into femdom, which is a female domination. Oh, yeah. ''[creepy chuckle]'' I like to get smacked by [[Barb|my woman]]. Mmm... yes.

Except for, uh, I would definitely s- put against, uh, Misher Jack, or, as is real name is said in de title of this video, which I will say in a moment. Uhh, in the pro- in the- in his- in his case of him, uh, having his operation and going through it, I feel that he would defi'itely '''not''' be considered any at all a woman- a woman whatsoever. He just only fashionably ''[raises his hands]'' looks like a woman, with the parts and whatnot, except he does not have- essept he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive[sic] organs. I mean, I want to have [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]] someday. Obviously, he don't. ''[Gives a disgusted look.]''

And, uh, also my associate dat gave me the information on him, he- pretty much, uh, he pretty much is plain out callin' him a tomgirl, but you know what? He's not a tomgirl at all. He's just a full-blown gay. ''[Stares into space, then looks down at his clipboard.]''

Anyway, gettin' back on topic, uh, his name is, uh, Ahu-viya, which, uh, it is spelled at the title of this video. Hmm, he is in Pennsylvania, and, uh, I have pretty much just gave a few descriptions of him, uh, yeah. He definitely appreciates his... [[homos]]eshual culture as it is. I mean, yeah. Everybody- everybody who hates- everybody who is a ho- who is a homophobe, ''[drops his leg down and sits upright]'' go ahead and call him on it. Call Ahuviya a God-dang homo.

[''moans with a derp voice, imitating Ahuviya''] Homo! I like to be a homo! [[Slow in the minds|He-he durr-hurr bluh bleh bleh!]] Eeeeoooouh! [''shakes his head with his tongue sticking out, then blows a raspberry'']

Yeah. But, of course, the, uh- my demands are simple, [[lie|as they ha' been recently.]] I want Mr Ha- Ahuviya to make the public apologies for all the things he have done a- he has done against me. ''[Quieter voice.]'' Shoot, I forgot to write 'em down. But he knows what he did! Among which, uh, he has, uh, pestured me, and, uh, on the phone, and uh, blackmailed me into doin' a few things. Yeah, I'll in from th- get those stats in and, uh, if he doesn't, uh, I might add them to the description of this video, after I wri- after I write 'em down.

Hmph. Anyway, 25-year-old Ahuviya, homooooo! Pretty much it. ''[Swings his leg back up to rest on his knee.]'' We do agree on being cross-dressersss. Although, I must also admit, um, ''[to himself]''I should have access to that actually, uh, yeah. [''Grabs his [[PS3]] controller''] Just give me oooone moment. [''Boots up his PS3''] Yeah, I think this is it. Whoops. [''puts controller in both hands''] I think actually did... save it on here... Huhhh, zoom in, I only want a but of a free sample.

[''Grabs his camera shakily.''] For thisss, as usuaw... hmm, I gotta get a little clossse here, because I don't have zoom-in functions on the Cross-Video bar Photo Viewer...

[''Cue a bright yellow light''] Closer the picture. [''Shows a close-up of a man's chin.''] Yeah. Anyway, he just does a bad- [[Chris and hypocrisy|he just does a terrible job in cross- quote-unquote "cross-dressing," because I mean, look at that stubble on his face!]] [''Smacks his hand on the camera lens.'']

[''Uncovers to show his arm, then the camera pans over his messy room.''] And then look at me all over. I take the time to shave myself. [''Close-up of his bare thigh, then slaps it.''] Smooth. ''[He slaps his ass.]''

[''He jerks up the camera back to his face.''] So yeah. Ahuviya... make your apology video, leave the Internet, leave me and my family and my friends at peace. You have... uhh, lemme see... [''He checks his calender, counting under his breath.]'' ''One, two three...'' Yeah. You have until the tenth of [[September 2011|September of this year]] to upload your video of apology for all the wrongs you have done to me which I list in the description a li'l later. Good day.

{{Troll Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]|nextlink=[[It's not that cold]] / [[Correction of EX relationship status]]}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-06]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-10]]