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2016-03-09T21:53:40Z

Donald Trump: Undo revision 195993 by 282128332 (talk)

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<div style="font-size:162%; border:none; margin:0; padding:.1em; color:#000;">Welcome to the [[CWCki]]!</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">The [[TRUE and HONEST]] encyclopedia about [[Christian Weston Chandler]].</div>
<div style="top:+0.2em; font-size:95%;">''WHERE NO [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|SHIT]] IS TOO [[Duck|MINOR]]! ''</div>
<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:85%;">We currently have [[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] articles...and counting!</div>
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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

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| style="color:#000;" | {{Quote of the now}}
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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

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| style="color:#000;" | {{Check this out}}
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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Article of the now}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Christory}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Did you know}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Da update}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{PSNTracker}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{CWCki News}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Improvement}}</div>
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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Picture of the now}}</div>
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| style="color:#000;" | <div>{{Video of the now}}</div>
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<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
__NOTOC____NOEDITSECTION__

[[Category:Special]]

Happy Birthday Tom

2016-03-09T21:49:43Z

Donald Trump:

'''Happy Birthday Tom''' is the second video Chris recorded from his [[PlayStation 4]], uploaded 6 [[March 2016]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday Tom
| video = {{#ev:youtube|26FnBcMNK6I}}
| stardate = 6 [[March 2016]]
| style =
| shirt = Sky blue [[MLP|Rainbow Dash]]
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast]]
| next = [[Happy Women's Day]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
...some of your sweetheart/girlfriend...ehhss. <small>Anyway</small>, your sweetheart/girlfriend Sammy, as anyway uh, I realize it's a day late for your birthday time, but, um, y'know, I was still setting up the, uh, ''PS4'' I just got and everything, so, eh, this works out pretty well—at least I get to stand and do this and that, I get a little bit more room and everything. [''Black overlay appears in top left corner, obscuring part of the video.''] Well, ele—anyway, mmm, so, here's the request, from mis—from your sweetheart. [''Chris holds up [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] amiibos''].

[''Chris holds up the Sonichu and Rosechu amiibos, miming their voices. He adopts a higher-pitched voice for Sonichu, and a quieter, even higher one for Rosechu.'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
'''Sonichu''': Happy birthday to you!

'''Rosechu''': Happy birthday to you!

'''Sonichu''': Happy birthday, happy birthday—

'''Rosechu''': Happy birthday to you, Mr. Thomas!

'''Both''': Yeeeeeeeeaaah!

[''Chris holds up an unbranded soda bottle containing Mountain Dew, intended to represent Master Shake'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
'''Master Shake voice (screaming muppet)''': Deep within the womb of time, a creature thus be born! And ye of years... twenty-four bells will chime! [''Chris turns the bottle to face Rosechu''] What? I'm Master Shake! What are you gonna do about it? Eh, whatever. Go fuck yourselves.

[''Chris places the soda back on the table.'']

[''normal voice''] Well, I hope that was money well spent for your sweetheart. Have a good day.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[''Chris repeatedly presses a button on his controller, as the video transitions to the home screen.'']

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Jeff is Beyond Denounced.

2016-03-09T21:49:40Z

Donald Trump:

"'''Jeff is Beyond Denounced.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]]. In it, the ongoing tension between Chris and Jeff/Francine Ouzuo comes to something of a head, as Chris calls them a "bastard" and reviews the various merchandise Ouzuo claims to be offering in the near future. The merchandise is generally themed around prominent Chris memes such as [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] and [[She Came for CWC]]. Chris denounces it all as "low-brow" and "offensive", despite it all being based on things Chris has done or said. One shirt features nothing more than Chris's own drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in an intimate moment, to which Chris reacts with an "ick".
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Chris's tone in this video is characteristically whiny and pouty, this seeming to be the way in which his anger is expressed of late. As usual, he attempts a feminine voice at the beginning of the video, as well as a "flattering" angle of his boobs, but the female facade is eroded as Chris becomes angrier, and by the time he is reacting to the Ouzuo merchandise, he sounds like the same old male Chris he always was. He refers to Ouzuo, apparently a male-to-female transgender (which Chris also claims to be), [[Hypocrisy|exclusively by their male name of Jeff and with male pronouns]].

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Jeff is Beyond Denounced.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|nRfhty2vmxw}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
| next = [[Happy Pokémon Day.]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
[''Chris is seated, recording on his iPhone. A camera stabilization effect is applied.'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
'Ello everyone, and welcome to a short special edition of eh, one of my videos here on the CWCvilleGuardian channel, and, uh, right now we are talking about about, eh, f—yes, the copycat... Jeff Ouzos. Yeah. So anyway, apparently... he is d—apparently he is defin—is definitely doing something with the ugly memes that I in no... way or matter [''Chris takes off his glasses''] agree to, authorize or represent at all, and clothing/attire items of m—of, uh, are coming soon, and prototypes in the works of my associal—my associates and I.

Anyway, uh, so let's uh, take a look at some of these, and I—mmm. Anyway, I definitely denounce everything there is with ''Jeff''. [''Chris pouts, turning up his glasses.''] I mean, he's still—I mean, I never actually considered him a friend, more like an acquaintance, but after his behavior over the past—more recently, and everything and whatnot, just a total bastard. [''Chris shakes his head''] But anyway, you want everything authentic, you buy from me directly on, onl—on the shops that I inform y'all about through this YouTube channel and my Facebook page.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Alright, so with that, we shall look at the m—the poor taste items that, uh, Jeff is ''soon'' to be, quote unquote, offering". Mmm. [''Chris moves the camera around''] Can I get this thing to—hmm, well—uhh. Oh well. [''Chris focuses in on a PS Vita, which displays an image of a red top labeled "MAN BOOBS".''] Alright, so hopefully y'all can see that clear as day w—with my... camera here. I can't see it from the back. Anyways, so yeah. That's uh, I do not—that has uh, one of the ugly memes that I in no way represent, at all. I really detest the memes. M-E-M-E-S. Especially these [''unintelligble''] offensive ones.

[''Chris scrolls down to a white thong with a red scissors symbol, captioned "ugly growth".''] And... right. There's that.

[''Chris scrolls to a flesh-colored undergarment labeled "[[Dirty, Crapped Briefs]]" with a feces symbol.''] [''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]''] Darnit.

[''Chris scrolls to a red t-shirt labeled "[[ShecameforCWC.jpg|SHE CAME FOR CWC]]"''] Ick. Very ick.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[''Quickly scrolls past mug labeled "WARNING: Contents may contain Navy"''] And skip the mug there, that one was really bad.

[''White t-shirt of Sonichu having intercourse with Rosechu, as depicted in the comic''] Ick.

[''Black hoodie with grey sleeves, labeled "PVCC" with the [[:File:MaryWantsIt.JPG|naked picture of Mary Lee Walsh Chris drew]]''] Eh, really ick. I'm sure PVCC ''would'' complain about this one.

[''Pink-purple shirt labeled "You know what I love? [[Jackie E-mails 30|CAKE FARTS]]" , with a small image of cake in the middle''] And, cake farts, ihhh.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[''Grey t-shirt labeled "MAN BABY" with image of Chris naked''] Ehh. Really really bad taste. Euughh.

[''White cell phone case with red text reading "[[26 December 2014|DON'T CALL ANYBODY]]" with pepperspray can''] And I don't like this one at all. Really bad.

[''Chris shifts the camera back to himself.''] But my products have in no way—any of these malcontent or offensive content whatsoever. These are definitely ro—low-brow, what I just showed you, my thoughts are definitely not only authentic and personally authorized, but [''Chris puts his finger against his head''] the opposite of low-brow. So much better than that, okay? Alright, so I'll let you all go with that, minor thing, another update'll be coming shortly tonight, something more on a pleasant topic. Thank you and have a good night.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast

2016-03-09T21:49:36Z

Donald Trump:

'''Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast''' is the very first video Chris recorded from his PlayStation 4, he "streamed" it on March 6, 2016. One should immediately notice the higher quality Chris is recording compared to his [[PlayStation 3]]. This is due to the fact that Chris is using the [[PSEye]]'s sucessor, the PlayStation Camera, which provides more better video (and audio) quality than the PSEye, and on that note, the fact that [[Chris Loses It|Chris has not abused it yet]]. Even so, however, it doesn't stop Chris from [[Chris and cinematography|not knowing how to work the camera.]] Also take note that Chris doesn't know [[Honor Roll|the difference between an actual broadcast and a recording]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VMBpSTY2v3g}}
| stardate = 6 [[March 2016]]
| style = {{Comedy|text}}, {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Sky blue [[MLP|Rainbow Dash]]
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
| next = [[Happy Birthday Tom]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==

[''Chris is standing in the middle of the room.'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
...and all, this Christine Chandler with my first ever broadcast... and uh, recording through my new PlayStation 4. [''Chris motions offscreen''] Ah, given me, given to me graciously from Kagney Lynn Moore of Seattle, Washington. She was very generous. It was the uh, well it was the typical [[Niggos|black]] version, yes, but um... and—[''Chris picks up the controller and holds it up to the camera''] but she gave me a blue controller also so that's a big plus. And I had already bought the camera, so... that's okay. Uh—anyway, uhm, so I'm very grateful. Thank you, Kagney, very much. [''Chris throws up his hands as if he doesn't know what to do'']. Uh... [''he waves his hand around''] is there a camera lag? Hmm, no... seems okay...

Anyways, so, uh.... so aside from that, um... what else, what else—oh! [''Chris reaches over and grabs a large tray full of his [[amiibo|amiibos]]''] She picked out her big—her figure she wanted and um, ordered dem from the shop on [[Etsy]]. [''Chris holds the tray up to the camera''] And I get to show this off. The old big—ah—can't carry it—can carry it with one handle—my little set up here with all the amiibricks using technic rods and pieces and all that. Anyway well she ordered the uh... main... cast... hm... she ordered [''Chris points to each of the items'']] [[Angelica]] with the halo and the wings. Yeah. And then she also got the [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|me-chan Sonichu]] and me here. And she also purch—she also requested and purchased [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel]] and [[Count Graduon]] just so we can all have EPIC BATTLES—[''Chris begins gibbering excitedly and incomprehensibly'']—and all that. [''fixing the [[Punchy]] amiibo'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Punchy, what're you doing?

[''Chris impersonates Punchy''] "Your son pushed me down".

[''Returning to his normal voice''] *inaudible* holes in the bottom. Oh well, nobody's perfect. These things are 3D printed but they still work very well for what I need them for, these amiibricks.

[''Chris puts the tray back where it was before'']

Aaanyhow... so... [''[[sigh]]''] I don't know what else to think of on my mind right now, mmm... [''Chris nervously fiddles with his hair and looks into the camera''] So. [''Chris raises his arms again''] Well! Now you can see more of my area! [''Chris loudly slaps his arms to his sides''] So.. alright so... I just been, uh, side—well, I got the PS4 last Friday and uh, it's been good. My only disappointment is that it doesn't allow me to play my downloaded PS3 ga—my PS3 games digitally, the digital versions, so... I mean, I would say expecting now is looking forward to importing the Little Big Planet data and games from my PS3 onwards. Mah.. mmm.. I guess I'll have to start from scratch in the LBP3 software but soon I will be recording and sharing the uh, commentary on watching the entire [[autism]] tutorial, here's for my new PS4 and the camera!

So... thank ya again Kagney. Y'all have a good, safe day. Uhm... [''Chris plays with the controller and lifts it higher''] how do I get this thing to stop? Uh... Oh! Ah. [''The video ends but the audio continues''] Don't want it on there, I'm done with this. [''The video comes back, with recording overlays''] Okay now I'm getting—I'm starting to get a little ticked here... How do you shut—how do you get this thing to stop? [''The video cuts off again, resting on the homescreen. There are a few seconds of silence''] Ah.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Update: 2/25/16

2016-03-09T21:49:34Z

Donald Trump:

"'''Update: 2/25/16'''" was, unsurprisingly, uploaded by [[Chris]] on 25 [[February 2016]] (one day after [[Christian Love Day|he turned 34]]).
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
His attempt to get people to buy a [[Sony|PS4]] for him predictably failed; instead, people sent him several gift cards with no money on them (as well as a non-winning lottery ticket, which some have said is a perfect metaphor for Chris's life). He complains about not getting what he wanted like a [[Borb|spoilt child]], even ending the video with a petulant "thanks for nothing".

What caught many Christorians off guard was that Chris seems to have [[Chris and his ego|seriously]] [[Chris and reality|expected]] a stranger to throw hundreds of dollars at him for no reason other than that it was his birthday and he asked for it, with such confidence he would be obliged that not receiving a PS4 seems to have [[Crash into slumber|shocked him into a depressive state]]. These implicit assumptions are troubling as they indicate that months of receiving payments of as much as $1000 in exchange for little to no effort on his part have only worsened his already devastating entitlement issues. In light of this, there is perhaps no greater gift anyone could have given Chris this year than nothing at all.

He also seems to have taken [[CatKnight Interview 3|Arthur Spatchcock's advice]], and gave the fans the official voices of cartoon-adapted [[Comic Chris|Comic Christine]] and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] within this video. Finally the fans know what Sonichu's real voice is, and of course, it's pretty much Chris', but somehow even more [[Slow-in-the-minds|dumb]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
He also gets mad at ''[[South Park]]: The Stick of Truth'' because Cartman repeatedly calls the player character a "douchebag" (which Chris [[Autism|takes as a personal insult]]) - ignoring the fact that Cartman has always been characterized as an [[Chris|obnoxious jackass]], and that this is far from the worst thing he has done (c.f. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Tenorman_Must_Die "Scott Tenorman Must Die"], which [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails#Aftermath|he has referenced before]]).

[[Random-access humor]] and [[Donald Duck impersonation|horrible impersonations]] also return, most of which are curtailed from [[CWC 3D Voice Check|two of]] [[Cheesy!|his old]] [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]] (with the exception of Bing Bong from ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inside_Out_%282015_film%29 Inside Out]'').

==Description==
{{Quotebox|Watch, Subscribe, and Watch again for more videos, Only on Cwcville Guardian: the Official and Authentic Source for a lot about Sonichu, as well as the author herself, Christine Weston Chandler.

Voucher for Destiny White PS4 Bundle (no PS4 Camera required) Offer extended to March 5, 2016.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Etsy|http://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShop...]]

Coupon Code: FEB241982

Free Sonichu #4 Book with purchase of CWC Figure(s) (see earlier video for details; Expires March 17, 2016)}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update: 2/25/16
| video = {{#ev:youtube|-xm2o4rDrmg}}
| stardate = 25 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}} {{Comedy|text}}
| shirt = Pink T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 02/16/2016]]
| next = [[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
''[Chris drops something on his desk as the video starts. Worth noting is that both the [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are on his desk.]''

Hello, and welcome to another day... 'ere on the CwcvilleGuardian channel... ''[sigh]'' Christine Chandler here... alright, so... Mm. ''[Chris begins fiddling with his glasses]'' Aight, so yesterday was my 34th birthday... um... I ''have'' re''ceived''... and I... do ''not'' pro''mote'' such dishonesty... Gift cards that have... no activation... and no value or money on them at all. And also, I have received... another... piece of mail. This one had... a scratched-off lottery ticket that was ''not''--that was clearly not a winner. ''[Chris licks his lips]'' Alright?
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
And I certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console... [[Chris and English|even much less]] the white one with the ''Destiny'' game and all that... Still, I move forward, so... mm.

''[Chris reaches for something off-camera]''

But let's do something different today!

''[Chris pulls back, revealing he was reaching for [[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Post 2011 Christine Weston Chandler Amiibo Figure (from Original Creator)|his tomgirl self-insert amiibo]].]''

Okay, a little voice acting.

''[Chris grabs all three of the amiibo on his desk, then sets Rosechu down.]''

Alright, so it's a cartoon series, I would definitely be voicing myself and Sonichu, and this is what he'd sound like--mm.

''[Chris rocks the figures back and forth as they "speak".]''

'''Christine:''' Hey, Sonichu, what's new?

'''Sonichu:''' ''[sounding like Chris's regular voice, only slightly higher pitched]'' Hey, mama, whatchu ''know?'' I'm doing OK with my wife, Rosey. ''[Chris slides her figure slightly closer to the others.]''

'''Rosechu:''' ''[in falsetto]'' Hello!

''[Chris breaks character for a moment]''
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
I'd get a femal-- I'd get a fem... woman to voice Rosechu for real. I don't know, somebody that sounds like... or similar ''to''... I dunno maybe, [[Britney Spears]] or... Katy Perry, or... hell, Meghan Trainor. I like her voice too. Mm.

''[Chris resumes voice acting]''

'''Christine:''' ''Ennnh'' yeah, yesterday was my [[birthday]]! So... I had low expectations for it, and I didn't get much about it... except... pretty much... birthday greetings, word of mouth, AND I had to buy my own cupcakes!

'''Sonichu:''' ''[Chris's regular voice]'' Oh that's a sha-- ''[slips back into "Sonichu" voice]'' Ohhh that's a shame, man! Mom! That's a shame, mom! Enh... Oh well! You get older, you find that people are not gonna care... as much about ya.

'''Christine:''' Enh... They only care about you on your own... ''[Chris slams figure of himself face first into desk]'' death bed. ''[flips figure to lie face up on desk, starts spinning it around]'' So that's ''anurr'' year on the old odometer. ''[inhales somewhat disgustedly, picks figure of himself upright again, and starts screeching while wobbling figure back and forth]''

'''Sonichu:''' ''[unintelligible, though clearly adding to Christine's screeching]''

'''Christine:''' ''[more screeching]''

''[licks lips as he finishes voice acting]''

Yeah. ''[blows a soft, sad raspberry]''

Hmm. Alright, um... also, um, those of you who have been watching my [[Playstation Network]] activity, you'd notice I've ha-had to go through my whole disk library once again, just because I've ended up having to... reformat my hard drive... after I... because of a corrupted... ''firmware file'' on it, that's... upsetting, but I've got that settled and fixed and... all the... games have been reinstalled and the DLC re-downloaded and everything, so... mm, ''[dissolves to gibberish]'' meh bdep blep bleh.

''[sigh]''

And yet, still no PS... 4! 'Cause I need to... catch back up! In the technology and everything. ''[sigh]'' Although, last night I did pu-- I did, uh-- I had-- already had purchased it on current, a copy of South Park: Stick of Truth. It's pretty good... the onl-- my only d-- the only downside that I really... did not like was, uh... actually two things. Could not be a girl! So I had to make the ''boy'' look like a girl. So that's one way of promoting being a transwoman. You dress up the new kid as a girl! And that wor-- And that works out. Mm.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
And then also-- second part, I really... don't-- I really do not care for Cartman's attitude as well... and... it's not funny at all. ''[stammers]'' Y-yo-eh... You-- I enter my name as the character name, and get-- then he calls me... "Douchebag!" ''[shakes head disapprovingly]'' Seriously, Cartman... ''[raises voice, noticeably agitated]'' I'm the player! I'm gonna make progress in this game! ''[starts bashing figure of himself against desk as he rants]'' So don't you dare call me... a ''douchebag''! ''[slams figure one last time, pauses seeming to calm down]''

Ehh, well... ''[exhales frustratedly through pursed lips]'' and y'know... meanwhile... what else? ''[struggles to think of topics to discuss]'' What else, what else? ''[small sigh]'' Ahh, what else? ''[pause]'' What else?

I don't know much else, my brain's gone blank. Unngh... I have so much inside if-- built, poked[?] and pent up to my life, so it's no wonder my mind is constantl-- is constantly off and on blank. ''[blows small raspberry]''

Enngh... I'm sorry I can't b-- I'm sorry I'm... not so funny, but... if I ca-- if I don't feel it, then it just doesn't come up... as easily.

Oh well! In a trial of being funny... [playful voice] And now for some [[Random Access Humor|random, silly things]]!

''[pause as he thinks]''

Hey look, a monkey. Hi, monkey! Aaaaaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane![?]

''[Chris repeats it, because it was so good the first time]''

Hi, monkey! Aaaah! Quit throwin' me outta the damn plane!

''[long pause]''

It's plays out better in<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div> my head. It doesn't actually have characters.

Ehh, what else is there? Alright... well redoing vocal impressions.

And now here's Cheese from [[wikipedia:Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends|''Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'']]:

''[grating, nasally voice]'' I like chocolate milk! Tinkle tinkle in the car, you should really use a jar! Prizes![?] I like cereal! I'm not a tampon! My name is Cheese! Do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again, do it again!

[lower voice] Autobots! Transform, and roll out! Ffff--

[restrained voice] I'm Meatwad, a ball of meat. Ffff--

[nasally voice, similar to last one] Egegegegegegegegeg. I speak Spanish, every day! Ffff--

[silly voice] Stop in the name of the law! Sorry about that chief!
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[lower silly voice] [[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Idiots!]] ''[raspberry, starts singing tune]'' Nununununununununununununu.

[sings different tune] Bing Bong, Bing Bong, who's the friend that likes to play? ''[picks up figures and dances them around the desk]'' Bing Bong, Bing Bong, nanananananana! Bing Bong, Bing Bong, entertainment value! Bing Bong, Bing Bong... ''[peters out, keeps dancing figures around for a bit]''

Alright, well anyway... subscribe! Subscribe to my channel to get updates on... well, me, Sonichu, my store on [[Etsy]], Cwcville Shopping... and, uh... everything else nearly related, ''ourgh''-- or of interest.

''[sigh]''

I'm stuck in a... moody mode, so... oh well. Right, so... thanks for the mail and then... [[Chris and his ego|thanks for nothing]]! Alright. Well, be another update... in about a week or s-- week or... give or take. Have a good day, thank you.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Apologies for offending people

2016-03-09T21:49:34Z

Donald Trump:

'''Apologies for offending people''' is a video [[Chris]] released on 12 [[February 2016]] in which he apologizes for "offending" people with his [[February 2016 Facebook Posts|childish demand]] for a [[Sony|Playstation 4]] for [[Christian Love Day|his birthday]] he made recently. Who exactly he offended isn't apparent.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
The video contains the rarest of things from Chris; an admission of responsibility: "...that's not your problem, it's my problem." This suggests that he has matured a very small degree, and is starting to be comfortable with things being [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|out of his control]]. Unfortunately, he keeps talking, and the sentiment rapidly falls apart. As tradition dictates, the [[Chris and Remorse|apology]] begins with an attempt at a sincere tone but rapidly dissolves into whining, blame-dodging and attempts to play the victim, with Chris equating the ''eight thousand dollars'' of taxpayer money he has spent on video games (many of which he has never even played) to people - gainfully employed people - making micro-transactions on their smartphones, which Chris, as a smartphone owner, probably does himself.

Having apologized for demanding he receive a PS4 before his birthday, he concludes the video by issuing the exact same demand again, and reminds everyone that anybody who indulges him will be richly rewarded with [[copyright]]-infringing poorly made [[Amiibo]]s.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
== Description ==
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture}}
== Video ==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Apologies for offending people
| video = {{#ev:youtube|jC7JzVmAjCU}}
| stardate = 12 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = purple T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 1/29/2016 - There is NO PewDiePie or Felix here whatsoever]]
| next = [[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia]]
}}

</center>

== Transcript ==
Hello everyone. Fresh update coming to you live from my house here, this is Christine Chandler. Um, well first off, I definitely want to make it clear that... my offer for... my services and merchandise for a [[Playstation|PS4]] console and with the camera for my birthday... Yeah, I did not mean to offend anybody by that. I thought it was a nice offer, you know. A whole lot of work, for value that's, uh, little bit more than price- than retail value of the items. I don't understand- really understand what was so off-putting with that, but I do apologize for offending everybody. And I would also like to apologize, since I'm doing an apology video right now, to every male and people with Asperger's who have... ''[lifts up phone and looks with it]'' Mmm... said hateful things to, and of, in the past. I still have my own personal-- my own subconscious feelings against the majority of the male population, but, that's not your fault- that's not your problem, it's my problem. And it's just in general, I'm still uncomfortable around males, it's... that's just me, it's not any of you. Alright? So, I'm very sorry about all the hurtful things I said in the past to- in regards to the males and people with Asperger's.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Harry Potter]] is okay, too. He's okay. I got- don't really have much against him except that he was in competition with [[Pokémon]] so many years ago, but that's a whole different plane right there.

But, I mean, yeah as I said in my [[Facebook]] post, uh, I mean, you should not judge me for [[Chris and money|how much money I've spent on video games]] and whatnot, especially when a lot of you, with a modern touch screen phone. Ya'll must have spent at least one dollar on impulse, on your app-store games and whatever. I mean nobo-- I mean, we're all guilty of doing something as impulsive. But yeah, I mean- yes, seriously though, I do mean no offense to anybody whatsoever. And I still will- I still- but the offer is still open, you know, as long as I've received the console and the camera... before- preferably before, or on, my birthday which is the 24th of February this year. And I will definitely go through on that, I mean, I picked issuing a voucher because I can't read people's nimes- minds on what they want and this way they get to pick and choose from the store and for what they want in exchange. ''[shrugs]'' I just thought- I'm just trying to do an honest thing, you know. Giving people- giving the person who gives me the gift. You know? I mean- I mean well. I have good intentions, I'm very serious, okay? Mmm. Alright, well, anyway, thank you all for your continuing support and... all that. Have a good, safe day.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCki

2016-03-09T21:49:33Z

Donald Trump:

{{Articleofthenow}}
''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.

[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]].]]
[[Image:Cwcki2009.JPG|200px|thumb|Popularity of the CWCki throughout the years.]]

The '''CWCki''' (pronounced "quick-ee") was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the infamous [[autistic]] manchild. As with any wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (Just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first).
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
As stated in its motto, '''NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR'''.

==History==
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|right|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren.]]

The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.
Before the CWCki moved to sonichu.com, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center.
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.
* [[White knight|Someone]] complained to 110mb in [[August 2009]] and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again.
* Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 [[September 2009]].
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.
* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.
* 1 [[March 2016]]: [http://blog.areyouahuman.com/goodbye_playthru| Captcha Service] for the CWCki shuts down.
{{-}}
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==Forum==

{{main|CWCki Forums}}

The '''[http://cwckiforums.com CWCki Forums]''' is frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical.

Previously hosted on Yuku, the forum was hosted on Forumer until 8 November 2012 when it was deleted off Forumer's servers. It had several relief forums until it had a permanent forum.

==Chris's opinion==
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their "[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]" and "[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]" Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}

The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]] and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren.

In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.

On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}

Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly "set the record straight" about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there who were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's "truths" and "corrections" were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.

Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh]]. After a few more minor [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].

Following the [[28 October 2011|October 2011 Michael Snyder Bash-smash-ween]], Chris showed up as [[User:Christianchandler|Christianchandler]] to upload photographs of Snyder and The GAMe PLACe, and to accuse Snyder of being '''fat''', child-molesting and "slender" (bolding and sarcasm quotes his).
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
As evidenced by a Facebook post of his, Chris seems to have come to understand that the CWCki exists purely to document information that is gathered about him, and plays no direct role in the trolling he experiences. He seems to have diverted his hatred to 4chan and 888chan, for reasons that remain unclear. He most likely is also thankful that his [[Scrapbook of Fail]] has survived in digital form after the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]].

That was, until [[January 2015]], when Chris posted a long tirade on Facebook, criticizing people who "haze" him on ED and this very wiki.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==References by Chris==
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal-pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki "slanders" him.
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted [http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs a quote] on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page.
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.
* [[Victory Rockout]] - Chris states (read: yells incoherently) that the CWCki is a "damn lie" and to never trust it. Apparently, if you wish to ask questions, [[Mailbag|ask him personally]] and he will [[Lie|answer with honesty]].
* [[Facebook#Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D|Facebook, 28 April 2012]] - in which Chris discovered the CWCki forum (link to it is admittedly hard to find on the main page, as you ''actually need to scroll down'') and launched a dastardly misinformation campaign of epic proportions. And it totally worked, according to Chris anyway!
* [[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]- Along with many other things, Chris blames [[Megan]] for the creation of the CWCiki.
* [[January 2014 Facebook Posts]]- Mentions the CWCki along with [[4chan]].
* [[June 2014]] - Chris tries to sell his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]] on [[eBay]]. He also told everyone to spend money on it instead of donating to the CWCki.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==See also==
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[CWCipedia]]
*[[CWCki Forums]]

[[Category:CWCki]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Happy Pokémon Day.

2016-03-09T21:49:33Z

Donald Trump:

"'''Happy Pokémon Day.'''" was a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 28 [[February 2016]] acknowledging the 20th anniversary of the [[Pokémon]] video game series. Chris devotes exactly three sentences to Pokémon, and then segues (via a baffling reminder that the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] 20th anniversary is a mere ''four years'' away) into a rant about how the ''Sonichu'' franchise wasn't [[Chris and copyright|plagiarized]] from Pokémon, but rather "inspired" by it (inspired to include literal hundreds of flagrant copyright violations from Pokémon, at any rate).

Chris cites crucial differences in the franchises to evidence this claim, which rather unsurprisingly number few; the only major one Chris offers is the plot. It's certainly true that the plots of the franchises differ greatly - Pikachu never facilitated a [[Sonichu 10|genocide of homosexuals]] - but then Chris undermines his own point by babbling about the necessity of Pokémon trainers in the ''Sonichu'' universe and then references a Pokémon parody from [[South Park]] and, amidst a tsunami of [[Random Access Humor]], rather unwisely applies ''Sonichu'' to the parody instead, drawing even more attention to the similarities between the franchises. He remembers to mention the Pokémon 20th anniversary again, ostensibly what the video is about, and the video ends.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Interestingly, this video seems to be the first work produced by Chris that uses ''é'' instead of '''e'' in "Pokémon".

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Pokémon Day.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|k-2GKzWrd_8}}
| stardate = 28 [[February 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = Blue T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.]]
| next = [[Sonichu's First PS4 Broadcast]]
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
[''Chris sits at his desk with all his custom [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibos]] arranged in a row in front of him'']

Hello everybody, and uh, welcome to a... fun—t-tah—fun special... announcement or update from [[YouTube#CwcvilleGuardian_.28February_2012_-_present.29|CwcvilleGuardian]] channel, as well as [[Etsy|Cwcville Shopping]]. I know it's a day late... and quote, "a dollar short", but... Happy Pokémon Day! It was yesterday on February 27th! National Pokémon Day, apparently... or so it's called. As it came out to be in, uh... Japan and Ame—Japan, at least. Anyway, to—anyway, because it [[Chris and copyright|inspired]] Sonichu and Rosechu, we are definitely honoring that little bit. I mean, in four years time, it ''will'' be Sonichu's... 20th anniversary... pretty much, as well. As everybody would... as, uh, those who actually know that... well enough to be.

[''Chris's throat makes a sound'']
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Yes, and uh... regardless of, uh, Sonic being a combination—Sonic and Pikachu on that not—on the originality, but it's ''INSPIRED'' by, not copying, INSPIRED. 'Cause, you know, the, uh... aside from the origin story of which... is still going on strong and undisputed... and whatnot and everything... we have our own complete different stories between [[Chris and English|either which]]. I mean Sonichu and Rosechu, they actually end up getting married and having children! And they still protect the city of Cwcville, Virginia, from the forces of evil! Who want to make [[Love Quest|true love]] and [[Heartsweet|sweet emotions]] [[Chris and the law|illegal]], so that everybody would be unhappy. That's... yeah.

[''Chris starts to lower his voice''] That was me[?], I've gotten impressions that it might be [[Virginia is for Virgins|illegal in Virginia]] for one person at least throughout my life, that's what's inspired the story. And possibly a little bit of [[Chris and anger|sour mood]] and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attitude]], but... that's a whole different... territory.

''Ennnnywho''! So yeah, dere—in the wild, there ar—in the wild, since the rai—since the faithful [[rainbow]] [''Chris picks up Sonee and Rosey Amiibos for demonstration''], there have been [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys...]] coming up! And versus, uh, what came out-out to be from the rai—from the faithful rainbow in and around the city of Cwcville, in the wild you will only see wild Sonichus and Rosechus, the main ones. 'Cause that's what they typically would evolve to normally [''Chris accidentally taps something on his PS Vita''], as well as, uh... [''Chris turns to his PS Vita to undo his last tap''] As well as some [[Metonic]] and [[Vamprosa]]. It would take a skilful... trainer to figure out... which specific type of stones or circumstances... would... make them into amongst the other characters in the... set—in the set, as well.

But anyway, yes, so... happiest 20th ''[[Speech impediment|annisrrsry]]'' to creators of Pokémon, 'cause without y'all, I may not have something to have been the original cr—been, uh, original creator of from the ''INSPIRED'' [''picks up untouched Sonic Amiibo''] elements. But still different stories altogether among which, and more characters out of all of that, and famous for... nearly the twenty years! So... yeah, nearly sixteen years now, so... among which.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
But I mean yeah, so [''Chris picks up the [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]] and Sonichu figurines''] ''boop''! The Pokéball! [''Chris mashes the two figurines into each other''] Into a Sonichu Ball! [''Chris opens the Sonichu Ball, there is crumpled paper inside''] Whoops, forgot to empty this one... [''Chris starts removing paper''] Anyway... [''Chris attempts to turn it into comedy''] Anybody want some receipts?! From... past transactions and whatever? I forgot to take these out. [''places paper to the side off-camera''] So... oh well! Who hasn't had a fail?

[''starts over''] Anyway... [''bashes two figurines together again, this time placing the Sonichu inside the Sonichu Ball''] Sonichu in the Sonichu Ball! But unfortunately it will not close, because it's too big. Oh well, it's fun to pretend anyway! Yep! [makes Pokéball sounds and takes Sonichu out of ball] Display purposes! [[Random Access Humor|Have no fun]], whatnot...

Just like South Park did, and that's pretty much one of my favourites parodies of Pokémon, the [[wikipedia:Chinpokomon|Chinpokomon]]! Chinpokomon... Yes, and I do realize that the definition... the English translation from ''"chinpoko"''... so—I've heard the commentary for that episode of South Park on DVD, so... make all the jokes th—as you want, as long as it—as long as you make it only apply to those who actually have... well, that are actually [''[Pickle|born male]'']. Versus, who are actually born fe''maaaaaale''... No ''jokes''!

'Cause [[Tomgirl|we women]] take offense to that very much! Humph!

But anyway, [''silly voice''] Chinpokomon! You can buy them all—you can collect them all... [''reaches for PS3 game''] in [[wikipedia:South Park: The Stick of Truth|South Park: Stick of Truth!]] Collect all 30, and earn 3 trophies in the process! [''makes silly noises with his tongue while waving game around, puts the game away'']

[''probably [[wikipedia:Eric Cartman|Cartman]] voice, but closer to Bugs Bunny''] Nyeeh, and if you believe that... [''Chris catches Sonichu Ball that just rolled off the table''] I got a bad joke at the end of the [[wikipedia:Black Friday (South Park)|Black Friday trilogy!]] [''obnoxious laugh'']

[''normal voice''] Really bad joke. I hate that. [''small raspberry''] Enh...

''Ennnnywho''! So, here's a parody of the ol' Chinpoko commercial with Sonichu and Rosechu!
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[''silly voice''] Hey kids! Do you like Sonichu and Rosechu?

[''silence'']

[''Cartman-like voice again''] Yes...

[''silly voice''] Then you're gonna—then GOOD! Because you'll be able to c-collect 'em a—you'll be able to buy and collect 'em all nooowww!

[''starts singing''] I got to buy Sonichu and Rosechu, I got to buy 'em, I got to buuuy 'emmm! Buy and collect 'em all! [''picks up each figurine individually''] Sonichu! Rosechu! [reaches for [[Black Sonichu]], but changes his mind and skips over him] Wild! Simonla! Christine! The whole crew! And a whole lot more! From the whole series and [unintelligible] and everything! Because... allow—because...

[''starts singing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's folksy Theme Song]]''] There's the mighty Sonichu with the mighty zapping boom, there's the mighty Rosechu with the mighty zapping blade! And along with meeeee, we defend the cityyyyyyy! From the forces of e-vil! Who want to make true love and sweet emotions il-le-gal! Because they never could feel it for themselves. Very sad.

But anyway, so... you can collect them all.

[''Cartman voice''] Yay! I'm Eric Cartman, I wanna collect all the Chin—all the Sonichu and Rosechu figures! And b—battle them against my Chinpokomon!

Yo, I got news for you Lan—I got news for you, s—Cartman! Now, I know you're a ba—are you a... a very bad—a very bad kid? But I would kick [[''unintelligible''] I would avoid it—PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW—and just pretty much dominate like you kids did at the end of the episode. [''Short zip sound''] Heh.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Well, silly jokes all around. [''Sing-song voice''] I got to buy 'em! Sonichu and Rosechu! Bee-deep-bee-deep-bee-deep, the Sonichu and Rosechu. Only available authentically and truly from CWCville Shopping. But hopefully before the 20th anniversary, we'll have something more... manufactured along the lengths that I personally would oversee and supervise everything. And they definitely
would be based on the—they definetly would be based on and from the ones I've created originally. I mean, no other sources! [[TRUE and HONEST|Authentic, true, and everything]]! And personally certified. Made from my own two hands with the material figures and everything. Takes time though. Eh... mmm. But, sheer butenenergy [?].

But aside from that, good ratings, good everything—Amiibo functionality, too! Hmm. We'll play Nintendo Playstation! Perfect avatar of the old prototype of the Playstation CD-ROM drive onto the Super Nintendo! There's a Nintendo Playstation, would you like it? Playstation Vita that takes Amiibo functionality? Mmm. Oh well. Nintendo made the opt-out decision, so that's a whole different story right there. Oh well.

[''Slight falsetto''] I got to buy 'em! I got to buy 'em! Sonichu and Rosechu!

[''Normal voice''] So, yep, happy anniversary, Pokémon. And thank everybody for their continued support in my things and everything. Have a great and happy and safe day. Thank you.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[''Selfie remote fails as Chris reaches to the camera''] Darnit.

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu (character)

2016-03-09T21:49:32Z

Donald Trump:

::''This page is about the character. For the comic, see [[Sonichu (comic)]]. For other uses, see [[Sonichu (disambiguation)]]''
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Quote|Do not fear, world, for I am a new [[Pokémon|pokemon]]. And my name is....Sonichu!|Sonichu, the [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|The Genesis of the Lovehogs]]}}
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{quote|Sonichu is Copyrighted and Mine Alone. Do Not Steal.|Chris, "Sonichu" [[CWCipedia]] article}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:SonichuOriginal.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Sonichu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 17 March [[Sonichu chronology#1988|1988]] (in universe)
17 March [[2000]] (IRL)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Length'''
| 5'4" (163 cm)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| 120 lbs (54 kg)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| CWCville University<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Home economics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Sonee]] or [[Pikachu]]
|-
| '''Evolves into'''
| [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]
|-
|}
'''Sonichu''' (born 17 March 1988<ref name="Son cwcipedia">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu] on [[CWCipedia]]</ref>) is the magnum opus of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. He is a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]] and is also Chris's imaginary son. He goes on adventures and ''"zaps to the extreme!"''

Sonichu's species, [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], evolves from a [[Sonee]], and can evolve into either [[Metonic]] or [[Ultra Sonichu]]. (Even though the original Sonichu mutated from Pikachu, which just makes the ''Sonichu'' [[comic]] even more convoluted.) Sonichu is only nominally the hero of the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic series]], as he was swiftly pushed aside for [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] as soon as the comic became an allegory for real-life situations.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==Creation and development==

[[Image:TheFirstSonichu.jpg|thumb|left|The first drawing of Sonichu, circa [[2000]], from one of Chris's homemade Pokémon [[cards]]<ref>[[The Sonichu Chronicles]]</ref>]]
[[Image:042-CWC'sFavoriteHits.jpg|thumb|The CD cover in question, [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth]]</ref>]]

Chris revealed on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Sonichu's Birth|fail Wikipedia page]] that Sonichu is a product of a Computer Graphics Class. In March [[2000]], Chris had to create a CD Cover for an assignment. Despite being a ridiculously simple project, with infinite possibilities for a possible CD cover, Chris still struggled with the assignment, because he could not use copyrighted characters. It seemed as if Chris's usual technique of "cover everything with shitty video game characters" wouldn't work this time. But then, inspiration struck:

{{quote|Then it dawned on me at that moment after lunch, much like the random creation of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] during Basketball Practice in my Freshman Year, Sonichu just bursted right into my imagination. A blur at first, but then it all became more clear and came together very well. So, as swiftly as the creation of Bionic, I drew Sonichu on paper from imagination, then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program.<br>
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
After checking with Miss. Chalifoux and my father, who is BIG on copyrights and whatnot; SONICHU WAS LEGAL THEN, and STILL IS and ONLY MINE! So, soon after, the CD-Cover was made, printed and Passed with an A+ Grade. :D|Chris on the origin of Sonichu, and why the public school system has failed us<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation (CWCipedia)]</ref>}}

Thus, an [[Internet]] legend, Sonichu, was born.

Chris created the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] five months later, in August [[2000]]. A few drawings of Sonichu appeared on the site, mostly on homemade Pokémon cards and other various sundry shit.

The comic began shortly thereafter: Chris drew a few short comics in the following four years which eventually appeared in [[Sonichu 0#Classic Sonichu Strips|''Sonichu'' #0]]. The comic was completed and released in [[2005]], five years after Sonichu's conception (and to think people bitch about waiting a few months for new comics to come out...).

Sonichu's character design has changed little since Chris' first ill-inspired scrawling. Due to [[Megan]]'s influence (read: wanting her sweet, wet [[china]]), ''Sonichu'' took on a more anime-like appearance. However, despite drawing Sonichu for over a decade, Chris has somehow managed to maintain the [[Chris and art|drawing skills of a six-year-old]].

==Fictional character biography==
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{quote|Yellow electric hedgehog Pokemon. The original and one-and-only, he runs faster than the speed of sound. When danger is near, he will slice and zap it up.|Sonichu's background, ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2}}

What would later become known as "Sonichu" hatched as a [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] on 17 March 1988,<ref name="Son cwcipedia" /> which interestingly enough is also the exact birth date of Chris's cherished dog [[Patti]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Eulogy_for_Patti Eulogy for Patti (CWCipedia)]</ref> It would eventually evolve into a [[Wikipedia:Pikachu|Pikachu]] on 26 February 1994.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />

{{quote|A Pok'emon Watcher saw this one making out with a [[Jiggliami|Jigglypuff]] once or twice. WILD.|Chris, [[CWCipedia]]}}

[[Image:Sonichu and Rosechu Making Out.jpg|thumb|Awww]]
[[Image:CWCsonichuduck.JPG|thumb|Ewww]]

Our hero's story began as the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] lay siege to the town of [[Station Square]]. [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] attempted to defeat the creature using the six [[Chaos Emeralds]] to transform into Super Sonic. In the midst of this epic battle, Sonic bumped into the Pikachu who happened upon the scene. This collision somehow mutated the Pikachu so that it evolved to possess the physical characteristics and abilities of Sonic. After dispatching with the Perfect Chaos Monster, and being mistaken for Sonic, the newly evolved Pikachu declared himself to be a new species of Pokémon: Sonichu.

After his transformation, he ran back to his parents' nest, where he found that they had been caught by Pokémon trainers. Showing the same [[Chris and death|callousness]] his creator shows after a loss, Sonichu does not seem to have attempted to find them, never mentioned them again, and even refers to [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Chris]] as his father.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu (CWCipedia)]</ref>

While Sonichu had gained new abilities from his transformation, his larger size made it impractical for him to forage for nuts and berries in the forest. Upon discovering [[Rosechu]] in the woods, he hoped to beg for food from her trainer, [[Kel]] and thus stalked Rosechu back to her and Kel's cabin, whereupon he introduced himself to them. Rosechu was immediately attracted to Sonichu for such qualities as being unable to name his favorite color. Their whirlwind romance was quickly consummated, and the two became passionate lovers. After rescuing Rosechu from [[Naitsirhc]] at [[CWCville Mall]], Sonichu became recognized as the hero of the city. [[CWCville]]'s Mayor, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], congratulated him for his victory; Sonichu in turn commended his creator's work on the Sonichu comics and wished him luck in his [[Love Quest]].

Although Naitsirhc had been defeated, he succeeded in obtaining a sample of Sonichu's DNA which his adopted father, [[Giovanni]], and [[Doctor Robotnik]] used to create [[Black Sonichu]]. Black Sonichu (unironically dubbed Blachu) was sent to capture Rosechu to lure Sonichu into a trap; however Giovanni and Robotnik did not reckon on Sonichu joining forces with Sonic. Together they overwhelmed both Blachu and [[Metal Sonichu]] to rescue Rosechu, who later met [[Amy Rose]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
One day while zapping to the extreme, Sonichu encountered The Destiny Cave, a mysterious [[Cherokian]] chamber guarded by an old man. The keeper of the Destiny Cave explained that Sonichu was the prophesied creature whose master would enter the cave and receive special powers. Sonichu reported this to Christian, and took him back to the cave. There, they learned the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], which revealed that Chris is the reincarnation of his Cherokian ancestor and foretold of the release of an [[Count Graduon|ancient evil]]. Sonichu blamed himself for allowing this evil force to escape, but Chris reassured him. After Chris took on the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], transforming him into a hedgehog, Sonichu helped him adjust to his new powers and body. No sooner had Chris-Chan mastered these abilities when he and his son were ambushed by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]], the reincarnation of the head of the [[Wasabi Clan]], who sought to renew the hostilities between the Wasabis and Cherokees. [[Saramah Rosechu]], the reincarnation of the wife of Chris's ancestor, intervened to stop the battle. Sonichu and these three prophesied hedgehogs formed a tenuous alliance to defeat a giant golem monster summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].

When Sonichu learned of Blachu's attempt to steal the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], he zapped to the scene of the crime, only to discover five other electric hedgehog Pokémon born from eggs dropped by the Chaotic Rainbow. Sonichu led this newly formed [[Chaotic Combo]] into battle against Blachu, defeating him utterly.

While Christian and Sonichu were chillin' at the mall, Mary Lee Walsh's forces attacked CWCville, prompting Christian to summon the Chaotic Combo and transform into [[Chrs-Chan Pure]] with his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|twin sister]]. Sonichu contributed relatively little to this battle, as Chris did most of the heavy lifting. In the aftermath of the attack, during which Crystal was imprisoned in Count Graduon's [[Dark Mirror Hole]], Sonichu confided to Rosechu about dreams of seeing his creator with long hair in a mirror. When [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and Black Sonichu attacked CWCville Mall, Sonichu and [[Magi-Chan]] accompanied Chris in responding to the emergency. Sonichu largely hung back as Chris battled his homosexual evil twin.

After the threat of Reldnahc was eliminated, Chris, Magi-Chan, and Sonichu pooled their efforts to retrieve one of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] from [[1990s#1996|1996]]. Magi-chan created a sphere to contain them, which Sonichu's tremendous speed would accelerate backwards through time. Although they successfully obtained the Sonichu Ball and returned to the present, Chris was lost in the time stream. Sonichu was disheartened by the disappearance of his father, but was able to console Rosechu so that she would be willing to have sex with him.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
The next day, after hours of vigorous sexual intercourse, Sonichu and Rosechu discovered the website [[4-cent_garbage.com]] spreading slanderous lies about them and their friends. Most notably, the site had pictures of Rosechu with a penis -- pictures which caused Sonichu to collapse into violent nausea. Outraged, the couple stormed the 4-cent_garbage.com building to confront [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]. When Howell refused to remove the offending content from his website, Sonichu attacked him in an rage, but was easily defeated. It instead fell to Rosechu to teach Howell a lesson by shoving her breasts and pussy in his face while eating his brain.

During Spring Break, Sonichu was briefly seen talking to Rosechu and surfing.

After Chris's return from the Time Void, Sonichu returned to his role as second fiddle to Chris, doing the latter's bidding as [[Ultra Sonichu]] with some godlike powers of his own.

When forces of evil attacked CWCville, Sonichu took time out from [[Chris and anger|raging]] at [[homos]] and [[Women's rights|objectifying his wife]] in order to defend the city. When granted the opportunity to finish the primary villain once and for all, Sonichu released her in order to allow his father to grab all the glory of defeating her (and thus putting the city in further danger).

Later, after [[Collosal Chan]]'s crimes against humanity, Sonichu served as "plaintif"[sic]/witness in the mock trial of the [[Asperpedia]] Four. After the predetermined verdict, Sonichu took part in Evan's brutal execution.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Sonichu has also made an appearance drawn in marker on CWC's [[duck]].

==Characteristics and personal life==

[[Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|thumb|MY ASS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH FIRE!]]

Sonichu's hobbies include running, surfing and chillin'. He enjoys outdoor activities and the scenery around him. He appears to be undecided on whether his favorite color is yellow or blue.

Sonichu's voice, as Chris would be his ideal candidate for a voice actor should there ever be a ''Sonichu'' cartoon, is more or less Chris's voice but in a slightly higher tone.<ref>[[Mumble 6#Chris is Stressed.2C Moving On|Mumble 6]]</ref>
He is deeply in love with his [[sweet-bolt]], Rosechu, with whom he lives at a subdivision at [[14 Branchland Court|14 Brunchville Lane]], CWCville, [[Chris's_homes|Virginia]], [[Chris's birthday|02024-1982]]. Sonichu is normally rather calm and collected, but when Rosechu's reputation is besmirched he flies into unthinking rage and/or [[Sonichu 8|vomits profusely]]. Sonichu is rarely seen away from Rosechu's side, and it is possible that his relationship with her has become overly possessive and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|abusive behind closed doors]].

[[Image:Lolmarriage.png|thumb|left|"Chris almighty, I zap to the extreme all fucking day, can't I have a goddamn can of [[Reeb]] and watch TV, woman?"]]
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Despite maintaining an appearance of living in carnal [[Chris and religion|sin]], Sonichu and Rosechu have been secretly married since March 17, 2006<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today (CWCipedia)]</ref> (a possible [[retcon]] by Chris to address complaints about Sonichu and Rosechu having sex outside of marriage). The two have gone to great lengths to keep it under wraps, wearing gloves ''over'' their wedding rings and keeping their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]] — Cerah (potentially named after [[Sarah Hammer]], [[Sarah Jackson]], [[PandaHalo]] or [[Sarah May]]; take your pick), Robbie (most likely named after the retarded hero from [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]], or the not-so-retarded [[Bob Chandler|hero]] of the Chandler household), and Christine (one guess) — hidden in the [[Wikipedia:Flowers_in_the_Attic|attic like so many flowers]]. Whatever sordid reason for burying their union remains a mystery. It has become rapidly apparent that Christian believes that his characters exist outside the confines of his scented marker universe, though one wonders if a personage as bland and poorly-developed as [[Wild Sonichu]] could truly survive in our harsh world.

Although many of his friends are members of his own species, his closest friend is his father and creator, Christian Weston Chandler. As the ''Sonichu'' series has shifted its focus from the titular character to its writer, Sonichu's role has been that of Christian's closest confident as he struggles to persevere in his Love Quest and endure the Stressful Torture of the internet bullies. When [[Giovanni]] asked Sonichu to declare [[Reldnahc]] the new Mayor of CWCville in exchange for Rosechu's life, he chose to defend Christian's mayoral throne without hesitation.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg">[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg Image:SchuComic9P82.jpg (CWCipedia)]</ref> Like father, like son.

Chris has revealed that Sonichu's son, [[Robbie Sonee]], is a Tomgirl.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref> As of 25 August 2014, Sonichu is still 100% straight.<ref name="Kryptonite">[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Sonichu's kryptonite]]</ref>

==Sexual prowess==

Sonichu's luck with the ladies apparently predates his transformation into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, as his [[CWCipedia]] biography notes that when he was still a Pikachu he made out with a Jigglypuff.<ref name="Son cwcipedia" />. Also, in [[Sonichu 8]], [[Jiggliami]] says she used to have a Pikachu boyfriend. This raises some very disturbing implications, as the CWCipedia article also gives 1988 as the year of his birth and 1998 as the year in which he became Sonichu, meaning he could have not been [[Pedofork|older than 10 years]] at the time of said liaison.

Chris has provided very intense details about Sonichu and Rosechu's anatomy.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology Biology (CWCipedia)]</ref>
<br clear="all"> When erect, Sonichu's cock is easily seven inches (18 cm) long, and often ruptures the [[raincoat|condoms]] he uses when 69-ing his beloved Rosechu.<ref name="SchuComic9P82.jpg"/>
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==Powers, abilities and weaknesses==

[[Image:SonichuStats.jpg|thumb|200px|Sonichu's stats. You know, for all the people who give a damn.]]

Aside from the obvious super-speed and body-spinning powers transferred to him from Sonic, Sonichu also possesses many powers based on his original Pikachu form, most notably his lightning and thunder attacks. Some of his special attacks include:

* '''Sky Uppercut''': Jumping punch to the head from below, presumably similar in fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Shoryuken ''Shoryuken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games.
* '''Mega Kick''': A martial arts-style kick, sometimes done in midair.
* '''Double Team''': The attacker quickly creates an illusion that there are multiple attackers, disguising the real one temporarily and allowing them an opportunity to attack whilst the target is confused.
* '''Spin Dash''': Attacker curls into a ball and spins on the spot, before releasing and hurtling directly into the victim in a high-speed rolling attack. In the original games where this move came from, it was capable of breaking barriers, but this has yet to be seen in the comics.
* '''Zap Cannonball''': Attacker creates a ball of pure electrical energy in their hands, before thrusting their palms forward to fire it at the victim, in a similar fashion to the [http://streetfighter.wikia.com/wiki/Hadoken ''Hadouken''] from the ''Street Fighter'' games, or the [http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Thunder_Bolt ''Thunder Strike''] from ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man 7|Mega Man 7]]''.
* '''Iron Tail''': Attacker swings his tail at the victim to hit them in a slapping attack.
* '''Mud Slap''': Attacker kicks conveniently placed mud to the victim's eyes to lower their accuracy.
* '''Thunderbolt''': Attacker charges up electrical power in body, before releasing it at the victim in the form of a long-ranged bolt of electricity.
* '''Thunder''': Attacker charges up electrical power, and uses it to summon lighting bolts down to the victim whilst simultaneously firing off electricity for a powerful lightning attack.

Sonichu may well possess other special powers that have only been utilized during the scenes where he is off-panel, while [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] takes over the story.

Interestingly, it is said that Sonichu and [[Blake]] are virtually the same. That being said, if one takes Blake's training in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] seriously, then that would mean that Sonichu is actually ''slower'' than Sonic. Blake's given speed was 200 km/h (124 mph), much slower than Sonic, who can apparently hit Mach 1 (1,225 km/h / 761 mph) unassisted (so far, the best Sega has been able to show in-game is around 300 mph (483 km/h) in [[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|''Sonic Unleashed'']]). Even more, it is said that Blake can reach a spinning power of 200 rpm, which is barely enough to get a cool breeze. (However, in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' #2 Chris claimed that Sonichu can go faster than the speed of sound.)

Sonichu has a literally paralyzing allergy to [[pickles]], and eating too much of them can make him swell like a balloon.<ref name="Kryptonite" />

==Sonichu as a Mary Sue==
[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|Sonichu is as straight as Chris.]]
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Aside from being an unoriginal Sonic recolor that blatantly violates international copyright laws, one of the chief traits of Sonichu that drew [[trolls]] to Chris is that Sonichu is a [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]]. In other words, he is an obvious avatar for Chris's personal power fantasies.

When the comics don't focus on Chris himself, they still manage to focus on Sonichu, who serves as Chris's idealized version of himself. Unlike Chris, Sonichu has a girlfriend whom he met, fell in love with, and drew into a meaningful relationship in a few hours' time; is agile, good looking, and loved by everyone; and despite his success, he somehow manages to "admire" Chris.

A notable instance of Sonichu as a Mary Sue is in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where Sonichu merely stands in for Chris as he fights the trolls during the battle with [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. The fact that Sonichu ultimately gets his ass kicked and has to be saved by his sweetheart just adds another level to this dumbfuckery.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Sonic VS Sonichu- the battle nobody wanted to see explodes onto your computer screens!
Image:067-SonichuStats.jpg|More than you ever wanted to know about Sonichu's stats.
Image:069-SchuGlasses.jpg|Even Sonichu wears [[Pedo-Glasses]]!
Image:070-SchuVsBchu.jpg|SONICHU VS. [[Blake|NIGRACHU]] FIGHT!
Image:072-SchuRchuDisco.jpg|Fun fact: Chris would never actually go into a disco because it's too [[tobacky|smokey]] and [[alcohol|drunky]] for his tastes.
Image:073-SchuRchuCmas.jpg|Watch out Sonichu, it's Black Sonichu!
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|HE'S A STREET SMART COP WITH 20 YEARS ON THE FORCE! HE'S A ROOKIE OUT OF ACADEMY! TOGETHER, THEY DELIVER JUSTICE. COMING THIS SUMMER.
Image:111-CWCSchuRchu.jpg|Chris, marveling at his creation where either Sonichu is holding a minidisc version of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] or an unfortunate licensed [[raincoat|condoms]] with album art on them.
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|Yes, even Chris's game consoles have Sonichu on them, like his PSP.
Image:112-NDSonichu2.jpg|Even for your DS!
Image:117-CWCSonichuLeer.jpg|Chris and Sonichu are keeping an eye on you, [[Evan]]. FIND YOUR OWN VIDEO GAME FRANCHISES TO INFRINGE UPON!
Image:161-ACSchu1.jpg
Image:162-ACSchu1Bck.jpg
Image:167-SchuCard1.jpg
Image:168-SchuCard2.jpg|That's right, he made a reverse foil card with actual tin foil.
Image:169-CWCsSchu1.jpg
Image:170-DarkSchu.jpg
Image:171-SurfingSchu.jpg
Image:172-SnowSchu.jpg
Image:173-CWCsSchu2.jpg
Image:174-SchuCard3.jpg
Image:175-SchuBday.jpg
Image:176-SchuCard4.jpg
Image:177-RaceSchu.jpg
Image:178-ShineSchu.jpg
Image:179-ShineSchuChara.jpg
Image:180-SchuRchu.jpg
Image:181-SchuCard5.jpg
Image:182-SchuCard6.jpg
Image:183-SchuCard7.jpg
Image:184-SonichuEX.jpg
Image:187-ACSchu2.jpg
Image:188-ACSchu2Bck.jpg
Image:189-YuSchu.jpg|Yu-Gi-Oh!
Image:195-SchuSteLgoIdea3.jpg|A proposed site logo idea that was rejected for not being bad enough. Also, Sonichu's smiling because he's gonna rape her within seconds.
Image:200-RockinSonichu.jpg|<s>Freddy Mercury</s> Sonichu, noted guitarist in Christian and the Hedgehog Boys.
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|And his GBA
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg|(with layout so you can instantly make it worthless)
Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|Very intimidating...
Image:228-SchuGrafiti.JPG|Spoiler: either that was an abandoned building nobody gave a shit about or it was a wall that was going to be demolished immediately anyway.
Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|Really? Of all the things going on campus, you had to go with asking Chris about Sonichu?
Image:509-SonichuAndRosechuPixel.JPG|Sonichu with Rosechu, in [[Pixelblocks]] form.
Image:snowchu.gif|Nothing is safe.
Image:0510-CWCNote9.jpg|DVD notes
Image:ECP 00077.jpg|They've fused!
Image:Modnation Sonichu.jpg|In ''[[ModNation Racers]]''
File:LBPSonichu.jpg|In [[LittleBigPlanet]]
File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|In [[Flipnote Hatena]]
File:Lego Sonichu.jpg|[[LEGO]] Sonichu. It's completely filthy because it's the one he plays with the most.
File:Zapping boom 1.JPG|"Sonichu's Zapping Boom," a [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing|drawing]] Chris made in 2014 and sold on [[eBay]].
File:Amiibo4.JPG|Homemade Sonichu [[Amiibo]].
</gallery>
</center>
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu}}
{{Fan art|chris=Sonichu_(fanart)|linkname=Sonichu}}
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Pikachu]]
*[[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' (comic)]]
*[[Sonichu (species)]]
*[[Sonichu (disambiguation)|All other uses of that damn "Sonichu" word]]
*[[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
*[[Medallions of Fail]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Sonichus]]
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys band members]]

Happy Women's Day

2016-03-09T21:48:56Z

Donald Trump:

'''Happy Women's Day''' is a video Chris uploaded 9 [[March 2016]] to belatedly mark [[Wikipedia:International Women's Day|International Women's Day]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

==Description==
{{Quotebox|<nowiki>#</nowiki>InternationalWomen'sDay<br/>
<nowiki>#</nowiki>FreeTheNipple}}
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Women's Day
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GUJkgbwn8gU}}
| stardate = 9 [[March 2016]]
| style =
| shirt = blue tank top
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Happy Birthday Tom]]
| next =
}}
</center>

==Transcript==
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{Transcription}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2016-03-09T21:48:53Z

Donald Trump:

:''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Honest}}
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan<br>Chris Chan<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]]<br>CWC<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>Solid Chris<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br> [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] <br> [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] <br> Christine Weston Chandler <br> [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] <br> Fat-Ass <br> Satan's Agent On Earth
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age {{Age|1982|2|24}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–present)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012)<br>Unknown (2012-2014)<br>Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-present)<br>Transwoman (2015-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White (1/8th Cherokee)
|-
| '''Height'''
| Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased)<br /> [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished)<br>[[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) <br>[[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]])<br>[[Carlos Chantor|Male escort]] ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|transwoman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]].

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by his signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about him]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]]

Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman with [[Chris and his ego|delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in [[Borb|his parents]]' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you, using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]], and not having your life's mission be to [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing]] a children's character's arms. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to etsy. Nowadays Chris isn't seen wearing his medallions as often, if at all.

Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
His adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world he constructed remain very much prominent in his life. Instead, he has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a transwoman.

{{clear}}

== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]].
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.

{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent(and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).

In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: red;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.

[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
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The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest.]]

At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.

Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]]
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More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.

In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].

As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.

In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.

This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
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In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.

More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.

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==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
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When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
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==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account

==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}
<references/>
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==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris| ]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]
[[Category:Homos]]
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2016-03-09T21:45:44Z

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