CWCki - User contributions [en]

Transgender

2023-03-04T22:58:53Z

DougShanz:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{protip|While Chris did legally change his name and gender, the CWCki continues to refer to him only by his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|true, original gender]] and [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|GodBear-given name]], to keep consistent with [[Sagas#Classic Chris Era (27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010)|classical]] records.}}

{{quote|I would rather suffer a painful gender-change operation than ever be a [[homo]].|Chris's written testimony in ''[[Sonichu 9]]'', 2008. As of 2023, Chris has not undergone sexual reassignment surgery even after identifying as trans.}}

{{quote|[[The Incredible Lioness|I am woman! Roar!]]|Chris in ''[[Sonichu 11]]'', 2017, borrowing a catchphrase from [[Rosechu]].}}

{{quote|[[Messiah complex|We Gods]] had eased up on the views of [[Chris and English|"Adultry"]]; WHY Else do you all have Pro-Gay, and Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Trans, and all Today and the past Decades?|Chris likening the LGBT community to adulterers in [[Jail Letter - 19 September 2021|a letter from jail]].}}

[[File:Chris autographed poster listing.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in [[2018]], two years after beginning HRT, holding a photo of himself taken a decade prior.]]

A person is '''transgender''' (or '''trans''') if their gender identity doesn't match their biological sex.<ref>https://www.dictionary.com/browse/transgender</ref> Over 1.6 million U.S. adults are openly trans,<ref>https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2019/04/02/percentage-us-population-transgender-statistics/</ref> and [[Christian Weston Chandler|an internet celebrity who now identifies as Christine]] is perhaps the most famous trans person to live in [[Ruckersville]], Virginia. In [[2011]], when Chris was 29 years old, he began exploring male-to-female gender transitioning. Starting with cross-dressing, he would gradually try DIY methods to undergo physical transitioning, which were [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|pointless at best]] and [[Self-inflicted taint wound|dangerous at worst]]. In [[2016]], he began using legitimate means, such as seeing a professional specializing in gender issues and going on prescription hormone therapy later that year. In spite of his best efforts, however, Chris's post-transition appearance remains quite similar to his pre-transition appearance, only he grew his [[hair]] out and had some of his fat distribution rearranged through HRT. Nonetheless, [[Chris and reality|he believes]] that he [[Chris and his ego|looks like a supermodel]].

Chris's identity gradually shifted over the course of his transitioning. He began as a transvestite – a male who cross-dresses yet still identifies as a man – or as Chris called it, "'''tomgirl'''". (Outside of [[CWC-isms|Chris's lexicon]], "femboy" and "femme" are commonly used to describe this kind of sexual identity in recent years, although Chris himself would not apply after becoming transgender. Nonetheless, Chris actually has used the term "femme" on his [[Facebook]] profile.) In [[2014]], he came out as a "lesbian-identified male". By the end of that year, he began identifying as a woman, calling himself a "transwoman". In [[2015]], he started going by "Christine", making the [[name change]] official the following year,<ref name=christinenamechange>[[:File:Court Record - 2016 Name Change from Christian to Christine (Chris, CL16000067-00).png]]</ref> as well as changing the gender marker on his driver's license to female. Overall, Chris has seemed to be more at peace with himself being "out" instead of suppressing his gay/trans thoughts, if not outright happier, in spite of his depressing lot in life and poor living conditions.

Chris's transition has been the subject of intense debate; views by external commentators on social media sites range from fully accepting of Chris's gender and sexuality, to scathingly critical, arguing that Chris is 'only pretending' to be trans to get romantic attention from heterosexual women, or is 'making the transgender community look bad', which isn't surprising given that Chris has mostly been rejected by most communities that he tries to join. Unsurprisingly, there are also debates on which pronouns to use when describing Chris, including from transgender observers themselves, who view the aforementioned arguments as gatekeeping, while a number of people in the LGBT community want nothing to do with Chris and would prefer he not be lumped in with them, especially in light of [[Affair with Mother|more recent events]]. Not helping matters is that Chris has utilized homophobic and transphobic language [[Chris and hypocrisy|whenever it suits him]], even after [[SLGBTQ|identifying as LGBT]]. Chris has also attempted to use his identity as a lesbian transwoman as an argument that [[List of places that have banned Chris|the people who have banned him from public places]] are being discriminatory against him and ''all'' lesbians and transwomen, much like he has done in the past with his [[Autism]], rather than as [[Kick the Autistic|often justified retribution for his bad behavior]].

==Signs of gender dysphoria==
[[File:S11-43.jpg|thumb|Chris describes his 2014 switchover in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]]]
'''Gender dysphoria''' is a feeling of conflict between a person's assigned (birth) gender and the gender that person identifies as, typically brought on by aspects of one's assigned gender. The trans community generally divides dysphoria into '''physical dysphoria''' (for aspects like hormones, genitals, or body characteristics) and '''social dysphoria''' (for aspects like names, pronouns, gender roles, makeup and clothing).

Symptoms in adults last at least six months and can include a belief of experiencing feelings socially associated with the desired gender, as well as wanting to be rid of the primary sex characteristics of the birth gender, have instead the sex characteristics associated with the desired gender, and be treated socially as the desired gender.<ref>https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria</ref>

Chris has exhibited signs of '''late-onset gender dysphoria''', a term describing those who begin to experience gender dysphoria in adulthood.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/gender-dysphoria</ref>

[[File:Da homos.jpg|thumb|left|Chris choosing between being transgender and being gay, in a 2009 panel from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Note his personal signature below that statement. (Ironically enough, Chris would eventually identify as [[Bisexual]], but would not undergo a gender reassignment surgery.)]]

===Early signs===
While Chris's experience is more reflective of late-onset gender dysphoria than the idea that Chris was always trans but somehow kept that detail hidden from [[Trolls|prying eyes]], there have been some signs that can be interpreted as Chris having thoughts of moving away from being cisgendered. Chris's exploration of a female form of himself showed early with his desire to have a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. He also added a twin [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|sister]] (also named Crystal) to the comic who strongly resembles a gender-swapped Chris. The reason behind the name:

{{quotebox|“Crystal”: a name that sounds similar to mine, but it has a nice ring to it.<ref>[[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]]</ref>}}

In 2008, years before Chris began to crossdress, he made a remark that he felt some mild discomfort from looking at [[Duck|his own penis]].

{{quotebox|It's bad enough that I sometimes see my own when I look down (of which I don't feel as much discomfort), but the very sight of others is like kryptonite to me.<ref name=[[SonichuGirls]]>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref>}}

He also has a long history of female fashions and mannerisms, from the [[Anime Wings]] seen in Sonichu [[Sub-Episode 5]] to the [[muscle bra]]. Chris has even wondered what he would be like if he were born a female.<ref>[[Mailbag 27]] - Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?</ref> In 2008, he posted:

{{quotebox|I feel that I am truly in touch with my feminine side, to the point where I am capable of learning from that to better understand how to treat women in a caring, nuturing, positive way; I've also learned from Red Skelton of how to be a gentleman. Sometimes I wonder between my caring attitude and the lack of a Sweetheart if I was born the wrong gender; I would wonder what life would have been like if I had actually been born a girl.<ref name=[[SonichuGirls]]></ref>}}

===The Butterfly Effect===
The catalyst for Chris exploring crossdressing happened around 2011. There is some dispute as to the events that unfolded. According to [[User:Champthom|Champthom]]:<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Talk:Tomgirl_Pictures#Just_a_clarification</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Someone said to Chris "You should get in touch with your feminine side!" and he ran wild with it.}}

However, when a fan asked [[Emily]] if she was the one to make that comment, she gave a different perspective:

{{quoteboxgreen|I've jokingly told him that before back when he was a dang dirty male and he would get pissed at me for it. What really kicked off the tomgirl and eventual tranny shit was some rando who was talking to Chris and suggested being a tomgirl since being a guy was too hard for him.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Tomgirl]]</ref>}}

Both of those accounts are consistent with Gender Dysphoria's symptoms of wanting another gender's characteristics and feeling incompatible with a birth gender's social roles. Later that year, Chris also mentioned that in public places, he felt more comfort using the opposite sex's restroom rather than one matching his gender at birth, which is a common rite of passage for transgender people (even though Chris did not identify as transgender at this time).<ref name="Bathroom">[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]]</ref>

[[File:ChrisContraption 02.JPG|thumb|200px|The dildo harness Chris used for tucking.]]
Over the next several years, Chris's feelings on his sex characteristics morphed into a loathing of his penis. In 2014, he took to forcing it to stay tucked with a makeshift harness.

{{quotebox|Males Offend Me, even my own Penis Totally Grosses Me Out! I am glad that I tuck it underneath my taint, so I do not have to look down at the Ugly Bulge!<ref>[[Un-clit]]</ref>}}

In 2016, Chris attempted a DIY gender transition using [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]. He was particularly drawn to tracks which claimed to convert a penis to a vagina.

{{quotebox|I would feel better knowing if the ovum do get created and further produced after the testies to ovaries transformation. ''[...]'' Ugh, we may not know for as late as six months after someone else uses the frequency set, gets herself examined, and confirms it.<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]</ref>}}

Chris's dysphoria and impatience over the Subliminal Frequencies resulted in the [[self-inflicted taint wound]], an episode wherein he cut open his taint with a knife in an attempt to free his vagina.

In 2016, Chris saw a psychologist specializing in gender identity issues. The psychologist confirmed to him that he is transgender.<ref name=psychologist>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional whose "practice includes the treatment and counseling of persons with gender identity issues" vouch for the person's gender identity on [https://web.archive.org/web/20161223001047/https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/webdoc/pdf/dl17.pdf this form]. Also mentioned by Chris in [[:File:SchuComic12-1P69.jpg|a ''Sonichu'' #12 page]]</ref>

[[File:Fetusbabe's cwc cosplay.jpg|thumb|left|How Chris views himself after becoming a Tomgirl.]]

===Miscellaneous signs===
Gender dysphoria explains a lot of Chris's past behavior; an example being Chris's insecurity in failing to live up to cultural perceptions of masculinity. His tendency to exaggerate or overcompensate for his fragile masculinity could be caused by subconsciously knowing that his intellectual gender does not match his biological sex. The way Chris interacted during the [[Kacey calls]] is another piece of evidence; normally, guys subconsciously lower the pitch of their voices to seem attractive to women, but when Chris was trying to woo Kacey, his voice drifted higher than hers. Additionally, Chris is known for his pathological hatred of change, unless the change is beneficial or positive for him. To assume Chris "became" trans purely for the quest for [[china]] is fairly extreme, as suddenly identifying by another gender identity is generally a life-changing event for anybody, and Chris has shown that he is incapable of substantially changing himself even with the [[Kacey|promise of a relationship]] laid in front of him.

===Autism and trans identity===
There is a correlation between [[autism]] and trans identity, though the exact reason for this correlation is still up for debate. According to a Dutch study, 7.8% of trans people are on the spectrum.<ref>https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/11/the-link-between-autism-and-trans-identity/507509/</ref> There are a number of similarities between the two disorders. Autistic people have a harder time picking up on social norms, including gender norms. Therefore, autistic people tend to have "androgynous" mental qualities and interests, and those people could perceive their brain difference as simply having the brain of the opposite gender. Both autistic and trans males tend to have mostly [[gal-pal]]s, because men tend to be rowdy and more explicitly judgmental. However, they may miss the socially complex and subtle elements of female socialization, and the actual women end up treating them with kid gloves.

The androgyny of autistic people has caught the interest of brain experts. MRI studies reveal that autistic men have "mosaic minds", which aren't just androgynous, but are extremely male in some aspects and extremely female in others. The autistic brain parts responsible for general thoughts are more masculine than the average man, with less connectivity and more localization. Autistic men excel at [[heart level|systemizing]] and struggle with [[Kindness|empathizing]], an exaggeration of the male profile. However, the parts of the brain responsible for sensation, perception and motion are more feminized.<ref>https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/brains-men-autism-female-patterns/</ref> Like women, autistics have a high pain tolerance and a low pain threshold – observable in Chris. However, gender differences in the brain are only averages, and saying a man with feminine brain traits has a "female brain" is like saying a short man has a "female skeleton". Also, the gendering of autism is highly controversial, with many pointing out that the condition is a spectrum.

Kenneth Zucker, a controversial gender expert, found that gender dysphoria manifests as an obsession, and that autistic people may think they're trans if they fixate on the issue of gender.<ref>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5613451/</ref>

It's also possible that Chris is genuinely transgender, but his transgender signs were "scrambled" through autism. This could be why he adapted nonstandard language for so long, and why he had to "ease into" his trans identity instead of coming out outright. For example, he identified as a tomgirl for years before his transgender identity came to the forefront, and he speaks of a "female soul" more than a "female brain."

==The transition==
===Tomgirl===
[[File:TG11.jpg|thumb|[[It's not that cold|"Would you fuck me,]] [[/cow/|789chan?]] [[Chris and his ego|I'd fuck me."]]]]

{{Quote|Yes, I am a Tomgirl, and I am damn proud of it. I have embraced and appreciated my feminine side. I am still totally heterosexual. Otherwise, I would be [[Homos|a full-blown you-know-what]]. ''[...]'' I have been more self-confident, and I have a sweet sashay walk, hair and wink flirts, and I am greeting women left and right.|Chris<ref name=Jackie24>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Also, here is another way to consider me, I am a Ken doll any Barbie CAN dress in her clothes, and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them for her. Come shopping with me, sweetie.|Chris, Jackie email, May 6 2011<ref name=Jackie24></ref>}}

According to an email Chris sent to [[Jackie]] on 26 [[March 2011]], Chris started cross-dressing at the beginning of that month.<ref name="Jackie24"></ref> On 30 March 2011, Chris changed his [[PSN]] quote to the [[CWC-ism]] "I am Tomgirl".

[[File:I am tomgirl.jpg|center|350px|PSN quote]]

On 29 April, the [[Tomgirl Pictures]] were released by Surfshack Tito. In them, Chris is dressed in woman's clothing, posing in what he believes are seductive positions. For some reason, Chris removed the Tomgirl PSN quote immediately after PSN came back online after a month of inactivity on 14 May, possibly due to receiving attention from [[trolls]].

On 16 August 2011, Chris recorded [[Kaka Makeup Basics]], a makeup tutorial video, reinforcing his tomgirl identity.

To show his support to all tomgirls and tomboys of America, he started up a new band, [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]], consisting of a tomgirl, [[Robee Sonichu|Robee]] (formerly Robbie, now Roberta), and tomboys [[Cera]] and [[Christine]].

Still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref> In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life]]</ref>

===Lesbian-identified male===
On 14 August [[2014]], Chris revealed via [[Facebook]] that he was a self-described "Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser", posting shortly afterward to be a lesbian in a male body<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]]</ref>. He also proclaimed that he is a supporter of "LBT" rights, which seems to have neatly coincided with the advent of his professed status as a transgender person. His omission of the "G" (Gay) was attacked by [[Kim Wilson|Kim]], in the face of which Chris admitted that the "G.M.s" were "fortunate" to be "on the boat", suggesting that he hadn't yet changed his views on [[Homos|gay men]].

In [[July 2014]], Chris had a vision, while meditating, about being a lesbian in a past life.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic12-1P68.jpg]]</ref> He took it as a sign affirming his gender identify. Years later, in a 2019 interview, he said:

{{quotebox|I had, exhibited but not totally realized my uh, feminine habits and traits and then it became more apparent to me that I was definitely soulfully a woman, due to the vision I had where I saw myself in a past lifetime by the tree at Woodstock and I was a woman then so yep, I'm soulfully a woman, so, so it's a good thing to go on from there and I never regretted it.<ref>[[Jackson Dalton]]</ref>}}

In September 2014, a fan inquired on his preferred gender and pronouns. Chris replied that he was very comfortable being referred to by either pronoun, adding that he would be flattered at being mistaken as a woman. He added that he did not currently have plans to change his name.<ref>[[Misc texts#Name change question]]</ref>

He began going to the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] in fall 2014.

===Lesbian transwoman===
{{quote|I am a (Female Soul) Transwoman (no operation yet), And a Lesbian.|Chris, January 2015<ref>[[January 2015 Facebook posts#Baby, Chris Was Born This Way]]</ref>}}

[[File:Christine license.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris(tine)'s new driver's license and "woman card". His signature is surprisingly neat considering the [[Chris and art|quality of his art]]. Also, the woman card probably looks great next to his [[autism]] card.]]

In Spring 2015, Chris changed his mind on his pronoun and name and referred to himself as Christine (apparently ignorant that Christian was originally a female name), a "Lesbian TransWoman", using female pronouns.<ref>[[Facebook#Contact and Basic Info]]</ref>

In May 2015, Chris turned his fursona, [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], into a lesbian transwoman. He also wrote about a fantasy in which Chris-chan Sonichu impregnates himself with his own semen to produce two children.<ref name=russelandcynthia>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref>

After being rejected as a sperm donor the previous year, Chris tried his own DIY method to preserve his sperm for the possibility of gender surgery. [[Chris's Specimen Sample]] is a video of him showing off his collection of semen in Tupperware containers in his [[kitchen]] freezer, and dates on the containers indicate he was doing this for at least nine months, though this was futile as the sperm was destroyed by placing it in a home freezer.

In [[May 2016]], he successfully filed for a [[name change]] to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref name=christinenamechange></ref> Later, with the help of his gender psychologist, he also filed paperwork with the DMV for a new driver's license identifying him as female, which was granted.<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Christine's Driver's License and Woman's Card]]</ref>

Chris was unaware that he also had the option to update his birth certificate; upon finding out, he decided not to, stating:

{{quotebox|I had no idea one can update their birth certificate too. For me though, I’d leave mine the way it is, because I am not going to deny my own history and past. I was born male, and dubbed “Christopher”, but I realized I was female the whole time and changed my name to “Christine” soon enough. And to have those on my drivers license is good enough for me.<ref>https://twitter.com/NightStar2891/status/1034472015942565888</ref>}}

The [[self-inflicted taint wound]], Chris's attempt to free his imaginary vagina, happened in summer 2016. In fall, Chris began taking HRT.<ref name=hormonetherapy></ref>

He attended LGBT events such as [[Cville Pride]], [[Love is Love]] and [[UVA Remembers Pulse]], and considered himself to be a member of the [[SLGBTQ]] community.

===Bisexual transwoman===
{{main|Bisexual}}

In early 2018, Chris suddenly announced that he identified as [[bisexual]] rather than lesbian - the result of [[brainwashing]] from the [[Idea Guys]] to make Chris think he was in relationships with fictional male characters.

==Interest in sexual reassignment surgery==
In the years before he formally identified as transgender, Chris had given some thought to sex reassignment surgeries. In 2007 he told [[Megan]], “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.”<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself]]</ref>

Chris's thoughts on the procedure shifted over time. In his pre- and early-transgender state, his opinion was essentially that MTF transwomen should not undertake the surgery as it would not grant them functional female reproductive organs.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> Later, as his gender identity changed, he became more open to the idea, but wanted to hold off until either [[Crystal]] was conceived or his sperm could be preserved.

{{quote|If [my child was a] Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, mid-2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}

In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] personally, he must first impregnate someone (he can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent.")<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November]]</ref> Second, his belief that his penis could still be useful for relationship purposes - wanting to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a [[May 2015]] Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina."<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too!]] and [[May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns]]</ref>

During 2014, Chris stated that he was contemplating sexual reassignment surgery.

{{quote|I Hate Being Born A Male, and after I have my children, I am getting an Organ Sex Change Operation!|Chris, hoping to impregnate someone who will give him a baby boy and a baby girl.<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>}}

He tried to fulfill the prophecy of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]'s birth by using a sperm bank, however, the bank rejected him.<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter]]</ref>

It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In [[June 2015]] he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.”<ref>[[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia]]</ref> As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas]]</ref>

In 2020, when Chris was asked about if he would be getting a sexual reassignment surgery, he answered with the following:

{{quote|Yes, and [[Chris and reality|this body is going to become fully, genuinely transformed and birth-able]].|Chris<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref>}}

Chris, presumably realizing that his [[semen]] would no longer be potent enough to conceive a child due to hormone replacement therapy that he was utilizing, now seems to think that he's got another way to make Crystal and [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]] real. It goes without saying that Male-To-Female transgender people cannot conceive children due to the way that a natural male body is structured, and even though research on the possibility of transplanting a uterus into an MTF body is being done, it would likely be way too expensive for Chris to try, [[Chris and health|presuming that he'd even be healthy enough or physically capable of bearing children]] by the time that such a medical breakthrough could be realized. How Chris plans to get the money to get a sex change or a hypothetical uterine transplantation amidst the [[Financhu Crisis]] remains unclear; it's entirely possible that Chris believes that some part of the [[Dimensional Merge]] will allow him to fully become a woman and allow him to fulfill his fantasy of becoming a parent.

Not that Chris could afford sex reassignment anyway, as it costs thousands of dollars, while Chris [[Financhu Crisis|struggles to pay his basic bills]] and [[Chris and money|spends what little he does save on frivolities]] like trips to [[BronyCon]]. It's even more impossible now that he's been incarcerated.

==List of Chris's MTF transition methods==
[[File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg|thumb|250px|Chris's menstrual pads]]

Chris has made several attempts to transition into a true and honest woman. Unfortunately for him, he has a strong belief in [[honor roll|junk science and miracle cures]]. As a result, his initial favored methods produced no benefits or were harmful to his health.

In 2016, he saw a psychologist over his gender transition.<ref name=psychologist></ref>

*Growing out his [[hair]]
*[[Chris and fashion|Changing his clothing]]
*[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2013-2014#Shaved eyebrows|Shaving his eyebrows]]
*[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS#Menstrual pads|Using menstrual pads]]
*[[Un-clit|Piercing his taint and letting it get inflamed]]
*[[September_2015_Facebook_Posts#Spoiler_Alert:_It.27s_a_Fake_Vagina|Requesting his fans to fund a prosthetic vagina]]
*[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Remote and Wired Vibrating Eggs|Wearing a vibrating bra]]
*[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|Taking Oestrogel without physician approval]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]
*[[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|Breast massaging]]
*[[Self-inflicted taint wound#Self-inflicted?|Cutting open his taint with a knife]]
*[[Chris and health#Hormone_treatment|Female hormone vitamins]]
*[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT|Going on actual hormone replacement therapy]]
*[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid|Eating prunes and putting soy sauce on everything]]

===Voice training===
[[File:TransTimeline.png|thumb|left|350px|Chris's self-posted transition timeline from 2009 to 2019, when Chris was on feminizing hormone therapy for 3 years. Aside from having longer [[hair]] and the fat distribution shifting around the facial area due to using HRT ([[Obesity|and getting progressively fatter over the years]]), Chris's appearance is largely the same post-transition [[Chris and health#Hygiene|due to poor hygiene]] and likely misapplying the transition-related materials that had been prescribed to him.]]Chris has been making an effort to feminize his voice, but instead of pulling off a convincing femme voice like some other trans women, he talks with a Mickey Mouse falsetto. The falsetto often drops down to his old voice at some point in a given video, sometimes as soon as he introduces himself. He has also ditched his monotone speech pattern for an extreme sing-song tone, especially when he adds bits of [[random-access humor]]. In [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|Q&A NO MORE]], he continued to affect a feminine voice when he was yelling, resulting in a cartoonish witch-like scream.

Ironically, Chris's pre-transition voice was already naturally high, around the same fundamental pitch as [[Chris and reality#Psychological problems|a child]]. Instead of going even higher in pitch, he could have worked on feminizing his resonance (the "buzz" of a male voice) and inflections with daily practice, possibly with the help of a voice trainer. But alas, that takes [[Stress|effort]].

===Hormone therapy===
{{see also|Chris and health#Gender transitioning}}

At first, between 2015 through fall 2016, Chris attempted using [[Oestrogel]] as a DIY hormone therapy method. Since Oestrogel is a hormone replacement gel meant for menopausal women, and Chris's self-regimen consisted of slathering entirely too much of the medication on himself, any effects were questionable and a potential health risk.

Chris eventually went on a prescribed HRT treatment consisting of estradiol and spironolactone<ref>[[Sachumo Interview]]</ref> around the fall of 2016.<ref name=hormonetherapy>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref> The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] explained:

{{quoteboxgreen|Basically if you say the right things to a therapist for a few months, they'll write you a recommendation for HRT and send you to an endocrinologist. Chris was referred to one at UVA. They gave him a script and made him sign away liability (the "informed consent" part).<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#HRT]]</ref>}}

Chris also mentioned taking hormones to [[Idea Guy]]:

{{quoteboxred|I can say that Chris knows the fact that he shortened his lifespan taking those hormones. In fact, I wouldn’t say he’s suicidal, so much as he’s fine with the idea he could die sooner. I dunno if it counts as his view of reality, but Chris thinks he might be able to have a baby once the transition is complete (I have nothing to do with that. Chris said it’s a possibility he could get pregnant).<ref name=ig>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>}}

Chris's health insurance, the taxpayer-funded Medicare program, covers HRT.<ref>https://transequality.org/know-your-rights/medicare</ref>

==Reactions==
Being a rural southerner, Chris comes from a conservative region and background. His parents are conservative, and anti-LGBT sentiment is strong outside college and LGBT circles. In addition, forums documenting Chris (from [[4chan]] to [[Kiwi Farms]]) tend to be "politically incorrect" and tell things "like it is". As you'd might expect, reactions to Chris's transition are overwhelmingly negative. While the trans community was comparatively more welcoming to Chris than other groups, a number of trans activists distanced themselves from Chris following the incest incident, while others found it reprehensible but felt an obligation to respect his preferred pronouns.

===Parents===
[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|thumb|250px|A panel from [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] of an autobiographical narrative of Chris coming out as a tomgirl to his parents.]]

Chris's parents were not happy when he began crossdressing. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] "threw the damned 'fag' card" at Chris.<ref name=ComingOut>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents]]</ref> [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] made negative remarks, such as "I didn't raise a daughter",<ref name=ComingOut></ref> "do not wear eye shadow", "you look like [[Stephanie Bustcakes|a prostitute]]", "lipstick makes you look like a hooker", "you're turning into a [[homos|gay]]", "[[Un-clit|what are you piercing next?]]" and "what's next, you [[I Love You, Catherine|wearing a skirt]] and high heels?".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>

Barbara also tried to pay Chris to stop wearing panties and go back to wearing briefs – however, Chris refused.<ref>[[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers]]</ref>

During [[May 2011]], an angry Barbara chopped Chris's hair short in a failed attempt to stop his crossdressing, prompting Chris to call her a bitch:<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

{{quotebox|My mother comes upstairs and yells at me about how She Thinks I'm turning queer from being Tomgirly and Feminine, AND she fears that I would kill her. Hand to God, I would never kill Anyone, including my own mother and father. Violence and Murder is Rarely the answer; murder is Morally Wrong; I care about my mother and father Very Much. And even worse, she threatens to kill me in her episode of emotional rage. She also took my keys. And shortly later, she tells me to come downstairs, so I go; she tells me to sit down, and she does the worse thing that broke the last straw on my camel's back, she Cuts my Long Hair Short and Butchered. After seeing the butchered hair in the mirror, I was soo in shock, I wield the double-edge sword I have been holding in for weeks since a much earlier fit of emotional rage of hers. I called her a Bitch. With her as a bitch, that makes me a son of a bitch, and it hurts me deep too. My hair is soo bad, I have to wear my PaRappa wool hat to cover the whole mess when I go out; I can not be seen in public with this short-hair mess. }}

Chris then remarked, "I forgave her for the butchering of my hair today, but now while I still care and love her like a child for a mother, sadly there is now a Mutual lack of deep trust between us."

Before Bob passed away in the fall of 2011, he told Chris he accepted and loved him for who he is.<ref>[[:File:SchuComic12-1P68.jpg]]</ref>

Over the next few years, Barbara remained opposed to Chris's crossdressing. Chris stated in 2014: "I would cross dress more often if my mother was not against me doing it (panties and bra included, but wear them anyway)."<ref>According to Chris's [[OkCupid]] profile</ref> However, Barbara's resistance gradually diminished and Chris resumed openly crossdressing. When Chris legally changed his name to Christine in 2016, he did so behind Barb's back, though she later found out and was livid with him.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (MasterDisaster)#Name Change Drama]]</ref>

Chris's gender identity may be the only significant thing in which he has successfully resisted the will of his parents.

===Locals===
In May 2011, Chris recounted an experience where he got yelled at by a [[jerkop]] for going to the women's restroom and said that, though he felt embarrassed, he would continue using the women's restroom while crossdressing as "there is no goin' back for me".<ref name="Bathroom" />

In June 2011, Chris was shopping at [[Sheetz]] when a man, seeing him in his crossdressing attire, asked him if he was gay, to which an upset Chris replied, "No, I AM a Tomgirl."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 28]]</ref>

In a January 2019 tweet, Chris claimed his neighbor "across the street from me shouted angrily at me; blaming me for his child questioning their Gender Identity".<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1088995002221559808</ref>

===Fans===
Chris' transition tends to divide many of the observers to his antics. Many who are in the LGBT community support Chris' transition, whilst those critical of him argue that the transition was just an attempt to get with women, and that his gender identity shouldn't be respected because he isn't actually transgender. Overall, most people who follow Chris and his antics tend to refer to Chris using male pronouns and his pre-transition name, a trend extending to [[CWCki|this very wiki]].

==Effect on the Love Quest==

{{quote|And for nothing more than the experience, you may give me a try in private. Protected and no penetration required. I have an open mind for what you may desire. traditional for the straight women. clit-rubbing and pussy eating for the lesbians. And any way for the bisexual women. Massages, making out, lots of attention and eye contact, and whatever else desired, for all Women regardless of orientation!|Chris, May 2015<ref name=may2015posts>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref>}}

{{quote|And one can view the male part like an extended clitoris, regardless of what it actually is. Put a condom on it, and rub the side against a clitoris, not only Really does good for me, but I imagine and empathize stimulating for her as well.|Chris<ref name=may2015posts></ref>}}

Chris's gender dysphoria issues influenced the scope of his [[love quest]]. As Chris is biologically male while identifying as a female, but still heterosexual, he remained attracted only to women. To resolve this, he identified as a lesbian in order to address both his gender identity and sexuality. Chris also tried to leverage his biologically male body in an attempt to appeal to women of other sexual orientations. On various occasions, Chris has made statements to the effect of him being "compatible with all women", or that he can [[HelloLadyFans|"go any way [a woman] desire[s]"]]. In practice, Chris actually reduced his female dating pool dramatically – straight women are the majority, and they generally are not attracted to trans women. Chris is essentially limited to lesbian and bisexual women who are open to dating trans women, and that's ignoring actual interpersonal chemistry.

All of Chris's prior problems with establishing a real romantic relationship with anyone pre-transition are still present. [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|His attempt to get to the point and solicit sex]] also fell through, [[Carlos Chantor|much like it did previously]] – mainly because [[Father Call|Chris is perceived as being undesirable as a romantic partner for a multitude of reasons]].

Ultimately, Chris would give up on trying to find a real [[boyfriend-free girl]] and would instead engage in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with several [[imaginary friend]]s after being encouraged to do so by the [[Idea Guys]], although he would later indicate dissatisfaction with not being romantically involved with real people.<ref>[[February 2021 social media posts#Message to the faker and hater trolls]]</ref> This came to a head in [[June 2021]], when he is alleged to have begun [[Affair with Mother|sexual acts against his own mother]]. When the [[Jerkops|authorities]] [[Jail Saga#Arrest|took him away]], he was booked into Central Virginia Regional Jail under his [[Jerk|True and Honest Godbear-given gender]].<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/oyoq0h/its_official_chris_has_been_transferred_into_his/</ref>

==Influence from the LGBT community==
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|Chris in [[2016]]]]
[[File:7Sept2015 Lizzy the Lezzy like-min.png|thumb|150px|Chris likes a Lizzy the Lezzy post promoting usage of a vibrating bra.]]

Chris followed a Facebook account named Lizzy the Lezzy. In September 2015, he liked a post linking to a clickbait article about a vibrating bra with the claim it could increase breast size in a week.<ref>[[:File:7Sept2015 Lizzy the Lezzy like-min.png]]</ref> A few months later, Chris made his own vibrating bra contraption.<ref>[[December 2015 Facebook Posts#Remote and Wired Vibrating Eggs]]</ref>

He also followed LGBT News. In May 2017, he commented on a post from them which linked to a theoretical article about a possible surgery for trans-women to become pregnant.<ref>[[May 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>

{{quote|Ah-Ha! I Knew it! I can eventually be a mother! :)}}

Chris also followed outspoken members of the trans community on Twitter and sometimes agrees with their statements.

One such example is when LifeofBria claimed that trans women have periods:

{{quoteboxgreen|Nobody teaches trans girls about our periods. We just get these weird times where we're moody and crampy and sad and we don't know why and just chalk it up to another reason we're not good enough in life. So, just so you all know: Trans. Girls. Get. Periods.}}

Chris answered:

{{quote|Yes we do. Even the possible hot flashes are no fun either. I’m feeling some of my period today. At least they pass and we can feel better when they do. 😊<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1016786884192808962</ref>}}

==Deadname==
{{quote|I'm neutral about people calling me "Chris" or "Christine" but I would like if you Good People would respect my chosen name.|Chris's paradoxical thoughts on the matter.<ref name=deadname></ref>}}

{{quote|<nowiki>***Christine***</nowiki> you FUCKING INTERNET DOUCHEWHORE!|Chris<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Meltdown on Twitter]]</ref>}}

During his transition, Chris has occasionally become annoyed at people for referring to him as Chris instead of Christine, despite the fact that [[wikipedia:Chris|Chris]] (as a short form name) is unisex.<ref name=deadname>[[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends]]</ref><ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (other users)#Short on Cash]]</ref> He doesn't have an issue with "Chris Chan", seeing that "Chris Chan Sonichu" is his [[Twitter]] name.

==Pronouns==
Chris tends to use the preferred pronouns of other transgender people, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

The sole exception occurred under troll manipulation, in which he flip-flopped between referring to the troll transwoman character [[Jeff Ouzuo]] with female and male pronouns.

==Terminology==
While exploring his gender identity, he navigated a linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl'', leading to some confusion as he adapted and experimented. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> Chris also used the term ''tranny'' to describe himself prior to actually committing to being transgender, which is a can of worms due to its association as a derogatory term against trans people.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Apparently unbeknownst to Chris, intersex is a chromosomal condition causing ambiguous genitalia and can present in many forms, none of which appear to be true of Chris. Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

==In the comic==
[[File:SchuComic1193.jpg|200px|thumb|ELECTRIC SEX CHANGE POWER! PEW!]]

Before exploring transgenderism, Chris used the intersex character [[Silvana]] to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil [[Count Graduon]] told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.”<ref>[[Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18]]</ref> She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community.

In [[Sonichu 11]], [[Collosal Chris-Chan]] learns of his future self's identity and reflects on it, reasoning that he is not fond of partaking in "brutish things" following his meaningless destruction of the [[4-cent garbage]] building and subsequent murdering of several inhabitants, his battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in which he permanently paralyzes her with lighting-based weaponry, and his then-retconned execution of the [[Asperpedia Four]]. Chris then magically starts transforming into a voluptuous woman, a sequence inspired by artist Miss Mako and her collection of genderbending videos. To him, transitioning is a technique that simply requires an epiphany and [[Anchuent Prophecy|anchuent]] powers to immediately turn into a full-fledged woman.

Chris drew his avatar - [[Chris Chan Sonichu]]/[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic Chris]] - with the traits he's always desired since becoming a tomgirl, such as eyelashes, bigger breasts and wider hips, revealing very much of what kind of results Chris wishes to get from his transition. Chris Chan Sonichu and Comic Chris are become canonically transgender - becoming a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” who became pregnant with twins via self-insemination with a turkey baster containing his own semen.<ref name=russelandcynthia>[[May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia]]</ref> Miscellaneous design changes for the transgender Chris Chan Sonichu include the trademark female Pikachu tail; and the color of his shoes change from black and white to turquoise and lime green.

[[Robbie Sonichu]] has a storyline in [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] about his gender transition which closely mirrors Chris's own, from identifying as male, to tomgirl, to lesbian transwoman.

''Sonichu'' #12 features a short autobiographical narrative of Chris's gender transition at the conclusion of Episode 26.

{{Wise|[[Rosechu]] is a MTF transwoman.<ref name=ig></ref> Chris was initially shocked over thinking he was wrong about Rosechu and was hesitant to make the change<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref> but later accepted it in full and physically altered [[Sonichu 15]]'s pages to reflect Rosechu's trans identity.}}

==The Sonichu bodyswap==
{{SonichuPossession}}
{{quote|And, yes, in more recent days, Chris had felt need to attest her own identity by using mascara on my face. Not my cup of tea, to put it lightly.|"Sonichu" expresses disapproval over Chris putting mascara on him.<ref name=splitpersonality>[[January 2021 social media posts#Bodyswap announcement]]</ref>}}

[[File:January18SonichuBodyswapArt.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris puts mascara on Sonichu.]]

As a spin-off of his [[Dimensional Merge]] [[coping]] mechanism, Chris has claimed that he has [[Spirit possession|swapped bodies]] with [[imaginary friend]] [[Sonichu]], allowing Chris's spirit to manage affairs in dimension [[C-197]]. This has resulted in psychological conflict between Chris's escapism and his gender dysphoria issues, as the imaginary friend Sonichu identifies as a male while Chris identifies as a female. In a tweet from 18 January 2021, "Sonichu"-in-Chris's-body complained about Chris-in-Sonichu's-body putting mascara on.<ref name=splitpersonality></ref>

{{clear}}

==Transition Timeline Gallery==
{{see also|Tomgirl Pictures}}

<center><gallery>
File:RoD3b.jpg|March Picture 1, featuring proto-Tomgirl Chris.
File:ZyK7a.jpg|March Picture 2
File:IiL3P.jpg|March Picture 3
File:CWCJuly2011.jpg|Chris's [[Facebook]] pic of July 2011, wearing earrings.
File:PSN TOMGIRL1-1.jpg|A random PS3 Home avatar which in no way reminds us of Chris. Good thing they put the usernames there.
File:Chris 09.jpg|In September, Chris was spotted at [[Wal-Mart]]. Note the purse.
File:Oj57ACG.jpg|With double-decker eyebrows.
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 1.jpeg|Holding his box of menstrual pads.
File:Cwc Menstrual pads 2.jpeg
File:Chris march2013.jpg|Chris with a mullet in March 2013.
[[Image:Chris_15_Aug_2014_changed_profile_pic.jpg|Chris the "Male Lesbian Intersex Transgender" in 2014.
File:Chris may 2015.jpg|Chris in May 2015
File:ChrisTwitterProfileFeb2019.jpg|Photo from February 2019
</gallery></center>

== Fan art ==
<center><gallery>
File:Tomboygirl.jpg|thumb|Chris's dream.
File:Would you mount and do me.jpg|[[It's not that cold|GOODBYE HORSES.]]
File:Tomgirlart.jpg
File:Chrisgirlfriend.jpg
File:Tomgirl.jpg
File:Tomchu.png|Fan art that was actually made canon years later.
File:Chris_x_Tomgirl.png
File:New-Anchuent-Form1.jpg
File:New-Anchuent-Form2.jpg
File:Cwcc.jpg|"IT'S A TRAP!"
File:Uguu.jpg
File:1314251396.scumdog cwc.png
File:Tomgirl_by_silphen.png
File:The_virginian_virgin.jpg
File:Chris_tran_by_linkcantriforce.jpg
File:Hemanchristian.jpg|Tomgirl or He-Man?
File:Whatcouldbe.jpg
File:ChantomimeDame.png|[[TRUE and HONEST]] picture from Chris's brief stint in British theatre
File:Chris's_True_Lego_Form.png|A true and honest minifigure.
File:ChrisBill.jpg|There are probably more, but here are the major ones.
File:Frickinlove1.jpg|Tomgirl Chris and SammyClassicSonicFan: the one true pairing.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]]
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Sexuality}}
{{Health}}

[[Category:Gender dysphoria]]

HEXBox

2022-08-03T23:01:56Z

DougShanz:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Hexbox.PNG|center|300px]]

[[File:Hexboxguido01.png|thumb|left|[[Clyde Cash|Shit was SO cash!]]]]
[[File:481px-360tankx6.jpg|thumb|250px||A picture Chris uploaded to the [[CWCki]] [[Random-access humor|for some reason]]. It turned out to be an odd case of foreshadowing to his later obsession with ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.]]

'''HEXBox''' (also spelled ''HeXBox'', ''HEX-Box'', or ''Hex-Bawx'') is a [[CWC-ism]] for [[wikipedia:Microsoft|Microsoft]]'s [[Wikipedia:Xbox|Xbox]] series of game consoles, probably in reference to "[[Wiktionary:hex|hex]]" being a word for "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]]." There are currently four generations of Xbox game consoles, three of which [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has owned games for]] at one point.

Chris has stated that if his video game ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' ever gets made, he wants it to become a multi-console title on everywhere but the HEXBox. With his later acquisition of an Xbox One, however, it remains to be seen whether he has relaxed his position on ''Adult Chronicles'' being released on it.

{{clear}}
==Early days==
[[File:ACDoc Xbox PS Stink.jpg|thumb|300px|Transcription as it appears in the second [[Geno Samuel]] video.]]Some early signs of hate can be seen in the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], in which he makes the following remark:

{{quote|Xbox and PlayStation 2, my opinion is the same as yours; they both stink.|Chris, presuming his [[Fans|audience]] shares his perverted sense of [[brand loyalty]]}}

He then makes another remark, stating the fact that he didn't own either console. Notably, Chris's vitriol also extended to [[Playstation]], since he was still purely a [[Nintendo]] fanboy at the time.

Chris tried to sell the Xbox games [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']], ''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]'', [[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']] and ''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]'' on [[eBay]], which makes it possible that Chris once owned an original Xbox, though he has been known to buy games at thrift stores and sell them for a profit.

==The hatred==
[[Image:TROPHY.JPG|center|400px|Enjoy the hi-res MSPaint graphics.]]

In the [[IRC (02 January 2009)|2 January 2009 IRC chat]], Chris expands upon his HEXBox hatred:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
 12:18 <vivitheg> Why, the Xbox 360 has a lot of games that are on the [[PS3]] too
 12:18 <ChrisChanSonichu> because [[Wikipedia:Xbox Live|the Live]] is costly.
 12:18 <vivitheg> It's only [[Chris and money|50 dollars]] a year
 12:19 <vivitheg> that's very cheap compared to the ps3
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> and I'm already a subscriber between PS3 and [[Wii]], which are FREE.
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> PSN is Free; [[Nintendo]] Wi-Fi is Free.
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> [[Random-access humor|Skadoosh]].
</div>

While [[Chris humps his PS3|making sweet love to his one and only sweetheart]], Chris tried to tell us how he ''really'' feels about the HEXBox:

: ''"I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360, you look at it makes you turn around—makes you do a 360° and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120°, 130° whatever, [[Honor roll|whatever the half of 360° is]]. Damn damn damn damn damn! damn damn damn damn damn! [...] I love PlayStation. Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 350–360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot to hell. Damn them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn damn damn damn."''

He was asked about this in his [[Mailbag]], and he answered pretty much the same as all of the other responses.

{{quote|I never cared for the HEXBox, and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the [[Wii]] and [[PS3]], PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT. The Wii and Playstation Networks are FREE, ONLY costing you if you BUY the Downloadable Games. When Microsoft FINALLY get that costly detail LONG-GONE, I MAY reconsider. But in the meantime, I rest my case.|Chris, [[Mailbag 5#Chris hates the HEXBox|being completely irrational]].|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>}}

Actually, [[wikipedia:Xbox Live|Xbox Live]] has two kinds of accounts. "Free" accounts (formerly "Silver") can access a large part of of Xbox Live features, such as friend lists, messaging, achievements and the content marketplace. "Gold" accounts, currently priced around $60/year, can play multiplayer games, use certain premium features such as Netflix (before June 4, 2014, after which it was available for free accounts) and get weekly discounts in addition to ''early'' access to certain downloadable games and demos (free accounts eventually get access to this content as well).

Considering $60 is around the price of a single game, while factoring in Chris' [[monthly tugboat|monthly allowance]] and his habit of purchasing video games and paraphernalia on a whim while accruing thousands of dollars in debt, the price would hardly be a problem for him. It is safe to say Chris' opposition to Xbox Live stems purely from his console-war mindset.

While [[wikipedia:PlayStation Network|PlayStation Network]] still lets users play multiplayer games for free, a premium version called PlayStation Plus was introduced in June 2010.<ref>http://www.destructoid.com/psn-plans-premium-subscriptions-online-play-remains-free-155553.phtml</ref> In order to prove how strongly he despises HEXbox Live Gold, Chris was spotted in April 2011 [[PS3#PlayStation Plus|using the Plus services]]. However, the PlayStation 4, the console Chris shelled out money for, requires mandatory PlayStation Plus to play online, which is at least $60 for 12 months. Despite being the same price as Xbox Live, Xbox Live hasn't had as many online shutdowns as PlayStation Plus and has better security.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Jason's_Hexbox.jpg|thumb|left|[[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]] controlling his evil empire from the luxurious comfort of his HEXBox.]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|''Don't Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls'', an indie release that, according to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris thinks is the only worthwhile game on the platform. Feel free to draw all the conclusions from this that you logically can.]]
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|KILL THE BEAST! CUT HIS THROAT! SPILL HIS BLOOD!]]

The HEXBox 360 is featured during the [[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|''elevator gag'']] portion of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are greeted by a depiction of an axe cutting through the console as they travel past the 70th floor of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. The 71st floor displays a PlayStation Trophy award for "killing that HEX-BOX."

Christian took care to draw a "[[Wikipedia:Xbox 360 technical problems|Damn Red Ring]]"<ref>[[IRC (23 July 2009)]]</ref> around the HEXBox's power button.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is shown surveying his evil realm using an Xbox 360 and a pirated copy of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Later, Chris portrays [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] as the owner of an Xbox 360, though as an actual computer hard drive. Chris, as [[Collosal Chan]], enters it, deletes everything about the [[Asperpedia]], then destroys the Xbox.

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], a "Fully Found Myself" Xbox trophy is depicted for [[Reldnahc]] whereas comic Chris's achievement is depicted with a PS4 trophy<ref>[[:File:SchuComic12-1P42.jpg]]</ref>.

Chris also has no idea what a real Xbox 360 is supposed to look like. Most notably, he thinks the console is smaller than a Wii, and with the power button on the top end of the console rather than the bottom end (incidentally, Wii also has power button on top and eject button on bottom, exactly the opposite of Xbox 360). He also appears to think that an Xbox 360 has four unprotected USB sockets directly under the disc tray (like those in the [[PS3]]), as his portrayal of [[Alec]]'s console shows; a real 360 console has two memory card slots at that location, and the USB sockets are located next to the power button, under a door. However, the new model 360s don't have memory card slots, but do have two USB slots behind a door near the power button.

Microsoft itself is not addressed in the comics either directly or via pseudonym.

==Change of heart?==
In [[XBox is OK.MOV|a video]] uploaded in [[September 2010]], Chris backpedals on this blatant fanboyism and decides that the Xbox 360 has merits after all. More light was shed with the leaking of an email to [[Jackie]]:

{{quote|About the XBox thing, I've realized after a revelation that I did not really hate the console originally. As a matter of fact, I've played a store demo kiosk of the 360 twice ever. I felt the anger against it originally, because of how much it cost way back when it was the Original XBox (before the 360), and that I could not afford either one. I felt more of jealousy of everyone else who was able to afford the High Prices of the consoles, and the XBox Live stuff as well. And throughout the time, after learning of the flaws it had, such as the "Red Ring of Death", being supportive of the lost format of HD-DVD (vs. Blu-Ray), and others, I used them as my excuses, which in arguments left me with no leg to stand on. So, I withdraw my past angst against the console. I'm still not going to buy one right away, though. I'll try it more, I mean, if I somehow got hold of a 360 inexpensively or free, or if I tried a Non-Demo console at someone else's place.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>}}

==Nope, he still hates it==
On the weekend of 7 [[September 2013]], Chris was [[banned]] from the [[Ruckersville]] [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] after he vandalized an Xbox One kiosk with a felt-tip marker to read "HEXbox One". Not only does this contradict his so-called "change of heart" for the console, but also adds to his ever growing [[List of Chris's lies|list of lies]], as well. He tried writing the manager an apology letter to get his ban lifted, [[Chris and negotiation|to no avail.]]

On his [[Facebook]] page, Chris posted that the last name of the manager was Utz. He also went as far as to '''actually post this on Human Rights Campaign's page''' and claimed he has been discriminated against for being [[Autism|"autistic"]] and a [[Homos|"lesbian"]]--even though it's pretty clear that [[Chris and reality|the moral of this story is to not vandalize shit]]. He asked the community to demand Walmart to unban him, even posting its address and phone number under the pretense people would actually follow through with his orders, and liked his own post. He did at least admit that what he did was wrong, so maybe there's some silver lining.

Chris posted this on 4 [[September 2014]] at around 7:30 PM.

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris Chan on Ms. Utz.JPG|We knew it!
</gallery></center>

On 25 [[June 2015]], Facebook group Legit Lady Gamers posted a picture of a pink Xbox One. Predictably, Chris replied that he liked pink PS4s better.

==He likes it for real now==
[[File:X-box avatar.png |thumb|150px|Chris's Xbox avatar]]

In [[November 2017]], Chris revealed his gamertag, CWCSonichu1982<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Gamindustri.27s_enemies_attack_CWCville</ref>. He has a Gold membership, along with several Sonic games<ref>https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/</ref>. Based on his gaming list including ''Rare Replay'', he purchased an Xbox One instead of a 360, since ''Rare Replay'' is a One exclusive. As of now, it is unknown if he purchased an Xbox One X, an Xbox One S, or just a regular Xbox One.

His Gamerscore is '''5,210''', with '''44''' games played, and '''1''' game completed.

===Money spent on Xbox===
{| class="wikitable"
|Xbox One
|$400 ''($350-400)''
|-
|Xbox Live Gold
|$59.99 ''($9.99-59.99)''
|-
|Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|$4.99
|-
|Rare Replay
|$29.99
|-
|Gears of War: Ultimate Edition
|$39.99 ''($19.99-39.99)''
|-
|Sonic The Hedgehog
|$4.99
|-
|Sonic The Hedgehog 3
|$4.99
|-
|Sonic & Knuckles
|$4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''549.93'''
|}

{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DojyqeVCD6U A typical HEXBox game]
*[https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/ Chris's Xbox gamertag profile]

{{PS3Saga}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]

HEXBox

2022-08-03T20:20:49Z

DougShanz:

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Hexbox.PNG|center|300px]]

[[File:Hexboxguido01.png|thumb|left|[[Clyde Cash|Shit was SO cash!]]]]
[[File:481px-360tankx6.jpg|thumb|250px||A picture Chris uploaded to the [[CWCki]] [[Random-access humor|for some reason]]. It turned out to be an odd case of foreshadowing to his later obsession with ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]''.]]

'''HEXBox''' (also spelled ''HeXBox'', ''HEX-Box'', or ''Hex-Bawx'') is a [[CWC-ism]] for [[wikipedia:Microsoft|Microsoft]]'s [[Wikipedia:Xbox|Xbox]] series of game consoles, probably in reference to "[[Wiktionary:hex|hex]]" being a word for "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]]." There are currently five generations of Xbox game consoles, three of which [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris has owned games for]] at one point.

Chris has stated that if his video game ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' ever gets made, he wants it to become a multi-console title on everywhere but the HEXBox. With his later acquisition of an Xbox One, however, it remains to be seen whether he has relaxed his position on ''Adult Chronicles'' being released on it.

{{clear}}
==Early days==
[[File:ACDoc Xbox PS Stink.jpg|thumb|300px|Transcription as it appears in the second [[Geno Samuel]] video.]]Some early signs of hate can be seen in the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], in which he makes the following remark:

{{quote|Xbox and PlayStation 2, my opinion is the same as yours; they both stink.|Chris, presuming his [[Fans|audience]] shares his perverted sense of [[brand loyalty]]}}

He then makes another remark, stating the fact that he didn't own either console. Notably, Chris's vitriol also extended to [[Playstation]], since he was still purely a [[Nintendo]] fanboy at the time.

Chris tried to sell the Xbox games [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 2: Big Red One|''Call of Duty 2: Big Red One'']], ''[[Wikipedia:The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay|The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay]]'', [[Wikipedia:Driv3r|''Driv3r'']] and ''[[Wikipedia:Celebrity Deathmatch (video game)|Celebrity Deathmatch]]'' on [[eBay]], which makes it possible that Chris once owned an original Xbox, though he has been known to buy games at thrift stores and sell them for a profit.

==The hatred==
[[Image:TROPHY.JPG|center|400px|Enjoy the hi-res MSPaint graphics.]]

In the [[IRC (02 January 2009)|2 January 2009 IRC chat]], Chris expands upon his HEXBox hatred:

<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
 12:18 <vivitheg> Why, the Xbox 360 has a lot of games that are on the [[PS3]] too
 12:18 <ChrisChanSonichu> because [[Wikipedia:Xbox Live|the Live]] is costly.
 12:18 <vivitheg> It's only [[Chris and money|50 dollars]] a year
 12:19 <vivitheg> that's very cheap compared to the ps3
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> and I'm already a subscriber between PS3 and [[Wii]], which are FREE.
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> PSN is Free; [[Nintendo]] Wi-Fi is Free.
 12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> [[Random-access humor|Skadoosh]].
</div>

While [[Chris humps his PS3|making sweet love to his one and only sweetheart]], Chris tried to tell us how he ''really'' feels about the HEXBox:

: ''"I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360, you look at it makes you turn around—makes you do a 360° and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120°, 130° whatever, [[Honor roll|whatever the half of 360° is]]. Damn damn damn damn damn! damn damn damn damn damn! [...] I love PlayStation. Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 350–360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot to hell. Damn them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn damn damn damn."''

He was asked about this in his [[Mailbag]], and he answered pretty much the same as all of the other responses.

{{quote|I never cared for the HEXBox, and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the [[Wii]] and [[PS3]], PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT. The Wii and Playstation Networks are FREE, ONLY costing you if you BUY the Downloadable Games. When Microsoft FINALLY get that costly detail LONG-GONE, I MAY reconsider. But in the meantime, I rest my case.|Chris, [[Mailbag 5#Chris hates the HEXBox|being completely irrational]].|Chris<ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref>}}

Actually, [[wikipedia:Xbox Live|Xbox Live]] has two kinds of accounts. "Free" accounts (formerly "Silver") can access a large part of of Xbox Live features, such as friend lists, messaging, achievements and the content marketplace. "Gold" accounts, currently priced around $60/year, can play multiplayer games, use certain premium features such as Netflix (before June 4, 2014, after which it was available for free accounts) and get weekly discounts in addition to ''early'' access to certain downloadable games and demos (free accounts eventually get access to this content as well).

Considering $60 is around the price of a single game, while factoring in Chris' [[monthly tugboat|monthly allowance]] and his habit of purchasing video games and paraphernalia on a whim while accruing thousands of dollars in debt, the price would hardly be a problem for him. It is safe to say Chris' opposition to Xbox Live stems purely from his console-war mindset.

While [[wikipedia:PlayStation Network|PlayStation Network]] still lets users play multiplayer games for free, a premium version called PlayStation Plus was introduced in June 2010.<ref>http://www.destructoid.com/psn-plans-premium-subscriptions-online-play-remains-free-155553.phtml</ref> In order to prove how strongly he despises HEXbox Live Gold, Chris was spotted in April 2011 [[PS3#PlayStation Plus|using the Plus services]]. However, the PlayStation 4, the console Chris shelled out money for, requires mandatory PlayStation Plus to play online, which is at least $60 for 12 months. Despite being the same price as Xbox Live, Xbox Live hasn't had as many online shutdowns as PlayStation Plus and has better security.

==In the comics==
[[Image:Jason's_Hexbox.jpg|thumb|left|[[Jason Kendrick Howell|Jason]] controlling his evil empire from the luxurious comfort of his HEXBox.]][[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|''Don't Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls'', an indie release that, according to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris thinks is the only worthwhile game on the platform. Feel free to draw all the conclusions from this that you logically can.]]
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|KILL THE BEAST! CUT HIS THROAT! SPILL HIS BLOOD!]]

The HEXBox 360 is featured during the [[Sonichu_8#The_Elevator_Gags|''elevator gag'']] portion of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] are greeted by a depiction of an axe cutting through the console as they travel past the 70th floor of the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building. The 71st floor displays a PlayStation Trophy award for "killing that HEX-BOX."

Christian took care to draw a "[[Wikipedia:Xbox 360 technical problems|Damn Red Ring]]"<ref>[[IRC (23 July 2009)]]</ref> around the HEXBox's power button.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is shown surveying his evil realm using an Xbox 360 and a pirated copy of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Later, Chris portrays [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]] as the owner of an Xbox 360, though as an actual computer hard drive. Chris, as [[Collosal Chan]], enters it, deletes everything about the [[Asperpedia]], then destroys the Xbox.

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], a "Fully Found Myself" Xbox trophy is depicted for [[Reldnahc]] whereas comic Chris's achievement is depicted with a PS4 trophy<ref>[[:File:SchuComic12-1P42.jpg]]</ref>.

Chris also has no idea what a real Xbox 360 is supposed to look like. Most notably, he thinks the console is smaller than a Wii, and with the power button on the top end of the console rather than the bottom end (incidentally, Wii also has power button on top and eject button on bottom, exactly the opposite of Xbox 360). He also appears to think that an Xbox 360 has four unprotected USB sockets directly under the disc tray (like those in the [[PS3]]), as his portrayal of [[Alec]]'s console shows; a real 360 console has two memory card slots at that location, and the USB sockets are located next to the power button, under a door. However, the new model 360s don't have memory card slots, but do have two USB slots behind a door near the power button.

Microsoft itself is not addressed in the comics either directly or via pseudonym.

==Change of heart?==
In [[XBox is OK.MOV|a video]] uploaded in [[September 2010]], Chris backpedals on this blatant fanboyism and decides that the Xbox 360 has merits after all. More light was shed with the leaking of an email to [[Jackie]]:

{{quote|About the XBox thing, I've realized after a revelation that I did not really hate the console originally. As a matter of fact, I've played a store demo kiosk of the 360 twice ever. I felt the anger against it originally, because of how much it cost way back when it was the Original XBox (before the 360), and that I could not afford either one. I felt more of jealousy of everyone else who was able to afford the High Prices of the consoles, and the XBox Live stuff as well. And throughout the time, after learning of the flaws it had, such as the "Red Ring of Death", being supportive of the lost format of HD-DVD (vs. Blu-Ray), and others, I used them as my excuses, which in arguments left me with no leg to stand on. So, I withdraw my past angst against the console. I'm still not going to buy one right away, though. I'll try it more, I mean, if I somehow got hold of a 360 inexpensively or free, or if I tried a Non-Demo console at someone else's place.|Chris<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>}}

==Nope, he still hates it==
On the weekend of 7 [[September 2013]], Chris was [[banned]] from the [[Ruckersville]] [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]] after he vandalized an Xbox One kiosk with a felt-tip marker to read "HEXbox One". Not only does this contradict his so-called "change of heart" for the console, but also adds to his ever growing [[List of Chris's lies|list of lies]], as well. He tried writing the manager an apology letter to get his ban lifted, [[Chris and negotiation|to no avail.]]

On his [[Facebook]] page, Chris posted that the last name of the manager was Utz. He also went as far as to '''actually post this on Human Rights Campaign's page''' and claimed he has been discriminated against for being [[Autism|"autistic"]] and a [[Homos|"lesbian"]]--even though it's pretty clear that [[Chris and reality|the moral of this story is to not vandalize shit]]. He asked the community to demand Walmart to unban him, even posting its address and phone number under the pretense people would actually follow through with his orders, and liked his own post. He did at least admit that what he did was wrong, so maybe there's some silver lining.

Chris posted this on 4 [[September 2014]] at around 7:30 PM.

<center><gallery>
Image:Chris Chan on Ms. Utz.JPG|We knew it!
</gallery></center>

On 25 [[June 2015]], Facebook group Legit Lady Gamers posted a picture of a pink Xbox One. Predictably, Chris replied that he liked pink PS4s better.

==He likes it for real now==
[[File:X-box avatar.png |thumb|150px|Chris's Xbox avatar]]

In [[November 2017]], Chris revealed his gamertag, CWCSonichu1982<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/November_2017_Facebook_posts#Gamindustri.27s_enemies_attack_CWCville</ref>. He has a Gold membership, along with several Sonic games<ref>https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/</ref>. Based on his gaming list including ''Rare Replay'', he purchased an Xbox One instead of a 360, since ''Rare Replay'' is a One exclusive. As of now, it is unknown if he purchased an Xbox One X, an Xbox One S, or just a regular Xbox One.

His Gamerscore is '''5,210''', with '''44''' games played, and '''1''' game completed.

===Money spent on Xbox===
{| class="wikitable"
|Xbox One
|$400 ''($350-400)''
|-
|Xbox Live Gold
|$59.99 ''($9.99-59.99)''
|-
|Sonic the Hedgehog 2
|$4.99
|-
|Rare Replay
|$29.99
|-
|Gears of War: Ultimate Edition
|$39.99 ''($19.99-39.99)''
|-
|Sonic The Hedgehog
|$4.99
|-
|Sonic The Hedgehog 3
|$4.99
|-
|Sonic & Knuckles
|$4.99
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''549.93'''
|}

{{clear}}

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DojyqeVCD6U A typical HEXBox game]
*[https://www.xboxgamertag.com/search/CWCSonichu1982/ Chris's Xbox gamertag profile]

{{PS3Saga}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]

Megan Schroeder

2022-05-27T00:15:45Z

DougShanz:

{{DeadLinks}}
{{Protip|Do NOT attempt to contact Megan.

She's moved on with her life and has already published a statement about Chris, making it clear she wants nothing to do with him. Don't drag her back into this, [[Affair with Mother|especially]] [[Isabella Loretta Janke|in]] [[Post-Merge Era|these]] [[Carpetbaggers|times]].}}
{{Honest}}


{{quote|Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.|Christian, ''[[Story of My Current Days]]''}}
{{Quote|ED didn't drag my name through the mud but you did.
I don't know, I can't keep disgracing myself and forgiving and forgiving. I have some pride you know. I've forgiven you so many times before it's just getting irritating now. Even I have my limits.|Megan gives her own view<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Megan Schroeder
| aliases = CPU Red Heart
| image = MeganPortrait.jpg
| title = Megan Schroder
| nationality = [[United States|American]]
| day = 23
| month = 7
| year = 1986
| race = White
| gender = Female
| saga = {{saga|megan|cn}}, {{saga|stackhouse|cn}}, {{saga|ed|cn}}, {{saga|gameplace|cn}}
}}

'''Megan Schroeder''' (born 23 July [[1986]]) is a former [[gal pal]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s, with whom he had perhaps the closest [[Chris_and_socialization|relationship]] with anybody he's ever had in his life, and previously one [[The Wallflower|of]] [[DoopieDoOver|four]] [[The Suitress|potential]] [[sweetheart|sweethearts]] that Chris met that wasn't a [[Troll]], [[Polyamorous marriage|a fictional character]], or [[Barbara Chandler|his own mother]].

Chris first met Megan in the summer of [[2004]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]], where she and her brother [[John]] were regulars. Megan and Chris became good friends, but Chris, being Chris, completely misread their bond as one that could blossom into a true and honest romance. Megan repeatedly tried to set boundaries that Chris either misunderstood or ignored, which led to increasing tensions between the two. This reached a boiling point during the early days of Chris's feud with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], in which [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Chris drew a pornographic image of himself and Megan]].

Following Chris's progressively creepier unwanted advances, and realizing that he drew porn of her, Megan cut off contact with him in early [[2008]]. Since then, Chris has developed an intense and unwarranted [[Chris and anger|grudge]] against her, thanks to misconceptions fed to him by [[Borb|his parents]], and his [[autism|autistic delusions]] about her scheming with [[Michael Snyder]] to have him banned from The GAMe PLACe. Chris's attempted contacts with Megan have dragged on as late as [[2018]]. Thanks to the [[Idea Guys]], he later came to believe that she was a [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddess]], much like [[CPU Blue Heart|himself]], but Chris never got to speak with her again.

==Timeline==
[[Image:Megan_Timeline_Prototype.png|1000px|center]]

==Prologue==
{{main|Megan emails, 2005-2006}}
{{See also|Megan emails, Jan-July 2007}}
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|Look at the fear in her eyes...]]

{{quote|During the late summer months, I picked up and started the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[Trading Card Game]] (it was around the time the movie came into theaters). One Saturday at the Game Place (Where I was also going for Pokemon TCG on Fridays), I met Megan and [[John's Custom Gundam|John Schroeder]]. At first I thought they were a couple but then they were just Sister and Brother. Over the months of getting to know Megan, I grew fond of her. Although at that time, and up to now, she wasn't interested in a lovely relationship. I've bided to her wishes and requests. I am truly fond of her, and I hope she will have a change of heart soon. She'll be turning 21 on July 23, 2007.|Christian<ref>[[Yep, I'm on TV :)]]</ref>}}

Megan is a typical ''truly'' [[boyfriend-free girl]], even claiming to be [[Chris_and_sexuality#Asexuality|asexual]]. She had a few eccentricities, which Chris was more than happy to copy and oblige, namely her fondness for ''[[My Little Pony]]'', ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', and using Chris like a debit card because she was too lazy to go on [[eBay]] herself.

Megan and Chris first met at The GAMe PLACe in summer 2004, over a game of ''Yu-Gi-Oh!''. The two apparently struck up a friendship of sorts. They had an obvious connection from the start, since they were both idling their twenties away playing [[card games]] marketed to preteens. It only took [[Third date|a few games]] and a handful of e-mails before Chris saw Megan as his [[sweetheart]]. Megan, however, did not reciprocate this sentiment. It probably didn't help that Megan was getting Chris to buy things for her like a stereotypical wife nagging her husband:

{{quote|Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!|Megan, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Megan_wants_a_Tin_Tin_episode|Megan E-mails]]}}

Through the end of 2005 and into [[2006]], Chris obsessed over Megan, writing her [[Sonichu 5|into his comic]], trying to drag her into dates, trying to snuggle, hold her hand, kiss her, and other attempted romantic gestures. This didn't accomplish anything but rousing the ire of Megan, who was uncomfortable with these advances and only saw him as a friend, nothing more. She repeatedly tried to assert her asexuality to Chris, in an effort to prevent his advances. Sadly, this fell on deaf ears, and Chris continued to hound her. Even when Megan eventually resorted to claiming she had a boyfriend, Chris was not deterred.

Unfortunately for her, this was only the beginning...

==Megan Saga==

===Sailor Megtune===
{{Main|Sailor Megtune}}

Megan, like Chris, enjoyed drawing cartoons, and this seems to have caught Chris's eye early in the game:

{{quote|Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]].|Christian, [[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006#Chris_wants_to_date_Megan_at_McDonald.27s|Megan E-mails]]}}

In what was a fortunate alignment of his ass-kissing campaign with the series of diary entries that ''Sonichu'' had become, Megan (later [[retconned]] as '''Meg-chan''') soon made her first appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], her own furry sidekick. The two are purportedly "[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Soldiers]]" and reveal on the spot that Chris is an old friend of theirs (including Megagi) and thwart the evil [[Jerkop]]s trying to ruin Chris' [[Love Quest]] with Rockin' Hurricane, causing Magic Rocket to [[Team Rocket|blast off again]]. Her influence on the "art" of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is apparent in Chris's sudden transition to a more [[anime]] style with ''Sonichu'' #5, most notably in his character's eyes, which became large and shiny.

[[File:Sonichu - Episode 13, Page 27.jpg|thumb|Getting dangerously close to crossing the line...]]

Megan and Chris appeared to chat about comics in their e-mail conversations; Chris [[Ego|critiqued]] some of her story ideas, and ran the plotline for [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] by her, including a bizarre offer to write in Megan's own imaginary daughter. While Megan probably found the whole thing harmlessly eccentric at first, ''Sonichu'' #5 managed to create some drama pretty quickly upon its release. Megan undoubtedly flipped when she saw her character getting romantic with Chris, as well as being portrayed in a sexualized manner. Chris completely failed to comprehend why she was angry, but did [[retcon]] a couple of pages to tone them down. This did not placate Megan, however.

===Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown===
{{main|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}
{{See also|Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007}}

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE [[Adam Stackhouse|Adam]] and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet [[Gal pal|Gal-Friend]] to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]; [[Chris and rape|it would have been terriffic]]. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a [[stress|FRUSTRATED]], High-Functionally [[autism|AUTISTIC]], 25-YEAR OLD [[Virgin with rage|VIRGIN]].|[[PSN Blogs]]}}

Megan spent the summer of [[2007]] in [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]], where her brother was taking a summer course in Mechanics. Undeterred, Chris continued e-mailing her, refusing to back away even for a moment as he ''still'' believed that, deep down inside, Megan truly did love him. Discovering Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown and the prizes for victory, Chris eagerly entered the contest, hoping to win a [[PSP]] and use the trip offered in the contest to win her [[china|heart]]. In the end, as expected, Chris lost (even after extensive cheating), [[Adam Stackhouse]] won, and Megan didn't care. Even when Chris began whining to her and others about how Adam and everyone else except Chris had somehow cheated, Megan didn't care either way. This childish behavior eventually resulted in Megan losing her temper with Chris, reprimanding him for his selfishness and inappropriate behavior. Despite being hurt by her outburst, Chris continued to harass Megan in much the same way as before.

===Rule 34 and The End of Megan===
{{Main|ShecameforCWC.JPG}}
{{See also|Megan emails, 2008}}

{{quote|And, by the way, that is not ''Crystal'' whose eyes are censored; that is ''Megan''!|Chris, stating [[Chris and art|the not-so-obvious]] and burning bridges with Megan for good<ref name="secondmessage">[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>}}

[[File:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|...And the line has officially been crossed.]]

In November 2007, Chris discovered his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page and begin his one-man crusade [[Sonichu 8|against the garbage]]. In the process, he uploaded a number of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|pornographic and lewd]] artworks, one of which was [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingering Megan]] with her eyes obscured. Trolls originally believed that she was [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|his imaginary sister Crystal]], which prompted an outraged Chris to try to deny accusations of [[Chris and sex#Incest|incestuous desires]] by revealing that the image was actually meant to represent Megan.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#March 2008|Chris confirms Megan's identity on 18 March 2008.]]</ref><ref name="secondmessage"/>

By 12 [[March 2008]], Megan discovered the picture depicting her and demanded that it be removed immediately. Chris attempted to do so, but found himself blocked at every turn. His edits were quickly reverted, or even worse, compounded, as he tried to upload other versions of the picture with the face cropped out or obscured. On 21 [[April 2008]] Megan wrote an email to Chris saying she was not comfortable being around him anymore,<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore]]</ref> thus putting an end to their friendship.

Throughout the fiasco, Chris brashly attempted to paint himself as a greater victim than Megan, initially even assuming that she didn't understand what was going on in the picture. He later admitted that he created the image in part to suppress the occasional impulse to '''[[rape]] her''', and that trying to assert that what she was going through just ''being'' in the picture and learning what he could have done was ''nothing'' compared to the misery of the [[troll]]ing he was enduring.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris_continues_bothering_her_about_ED]]</ref>

Evidence suggests that Megan was distancing herself from Chris even before she discovered the awful drawing. Comments by former GAMe PLACe patrons [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] indicate that Megan was already avoiding Chris before she found out ShecameforCWC.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Initial post|Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]: "Megan would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid [Chris], '''especially after''' the drawings of her got leaked [emphasis added]." This comment suggests that Megan was avoiding Chris before ShecameforCWC came to her attention. In their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Chris and Megan|discussion of Megan]], Mimms and Lucas seem to attribute Chris's groping as the main factor behind the deterioration of his relationship with her, while giving little weight to ShecameforCWC.</ref> Chris himself has partially confirmed this account on the [[CWCipedia]].<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://archive.vn/rB99e Megan]: "When I started getting too close, [Megan] started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible homosexual."</ref> It might very well be that ShecameforCWC was the last step in euthanizing a dying relationship, rather than killing a vibrant and living one.

==Aftermath==
{{quote|Too bad I was never just that too all into him.|Cartoon Megan, "I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

{{quote|Megan... WHY?!|Christian,
"I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC"}}

Despite Megan telling him she was no longer comfortable being in his presence, Chris was not willing to give up on her. On 11 [[2008#June|June 2008]], Chris sent an email to a person named Tyler Wane, asking Tyler to deliver Megan the birthday gift Chris bought for her (a German-English dictionary). Chris said he could not deliver her the gift himself due to being "forced into hiatus from the Pokemon League by that S.O.B. [[Michael Snyder|Mike]]". Tyler in response suggested to Chris to arrange meeting with Megan outside [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref><[[Chris emails 2008#June]]</ref>

Megan surfaced again in Chris's thoughts in [[July 2009]], first in the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, and then in the subsequent update, [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC]]. Chris also [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCo72hJ-SAg reposted] the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown entry, though this version is slightly different from the ones frequently seen in latter days: After "...my friend Megan!", Chris inserted a short break with a photo of him and Megan, with a lovely heart frame. Either this is the original version before Chris tried to clean up his image, or a brand new version with new improved references to the long-lost love.

On 26 [[March 2009]], he released a [[CWC Major Update 26 March 2009 |Captain's Log]] where he told everyone to [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"leave her alone"]] because she was going through [[stress]] from the [[trolls]], and threatened to stop drawing the comic if they didn't. At the beginning of the video Chris claims that he was recently contacted by Megan, though it was most likely a troll posing as her seeing as she had cut off all ties with him.

On 12 [[August 2009]], he dedicated a song to Megan in one of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] videos, where the first sign that he'd convinced himself that she'd told him "I Love You" comes up (and he remains relatively consistent when speaking of her in acting as though this actually happened).

{{quote|Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old [[gal-pal]] of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen.|Christian, "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]]"}}

In 2010, he created a [[:File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|model of Megan]] for ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' (named "Gal Pal"), showing that he still couldn't let go.

=== Chris's version of events ===
On 16 [[May 2010]], the [[CWCipedia]]'s new fan manager Daria Camacho created a page for Megan, using the link on Chris's page of [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|gal-pals and sweethearts]]. When Chris discovered it, he erased all of Daria's text and wrote his own version. The abridged version of events he presents is much shorter than his gigantic [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|rant on The Wallflower]], probably because the events of the Megan Saga are beginning to fade from his memory.

{{quotebox|If you REALLY MUST KNOW...

Megan and I first met at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament at The G&H Place, back when it was still in the Downtown Mall. It was around the time the Y.G.O. Movie debuted in theaters. She and I, we talked, hung out and became really good friends.

"I DID have lovey-dovey feelings for her, and I still care about her as a friend. I did her a number of favors by getting her this and that off of eBay, then she would reimburse me the cost of each item.

When I started getting too close, she started to feel uncomfortable, My Bad. Then she distanced herself from me, saw other dudes, including a possible [[homos]]exual.

I drew that drawing of her and me that is unfortunately popular among everyone who tends to haze me for TWO REASONS. Firstly, because of My Own Wishful Thinking. And second a tool in a lame attempt to overcrowd the E.D. page against me with Bu**C*** with my own "information" to shut it down.

Ever since, she totally spaced herself from me, like as if she had put a restraining order against, which she did not. And as I was being forced off the Place premesis the last day I was there, she stood by and watched in shock. She could have spoken up for me, but she did not.

I have lost communication with Megan since then.}}

In the months and years after his "breakup" with Megan, Chris came to try and act as if he'd gotten over her. His [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia page]] on [[The Wallflower]], for instance, claimed "I had LOOOOOONG moved on from Megan."

However, a lingering attachment betrayed itself on occasion. The archive of his [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|female acquaintances]] on the CWCipedia noted, "I still miss her sometimes." In an [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|e-mail to Jackie]] from April 2010, when he recounted having his picture taken at The GAMe PLACe, Chris said, "I was in a state of shock from seeing Megan and (her short-lived romance) Christopher MAKING OUT. '''That Should Have Been Me.'''"

==The Blame Game==

=== Origins ===
[[File:Megan Schroeder - 2013 September.jpeg|thumb|Megan, years later, still recovering from her ordeal. Out of frame: [[JERKS|JERK]].]]
The [[Matthew Noble call]] of August 2010 revealed that [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] disliked and distrusted Megan, believing that she conspired with Michael Snyder and "some [[homos]]exual[s]" to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe. Barbara also mentions how Megan "lied" about something, suggesting that she believes Megan to be a troll.

It is possible that this belief originated with Chris, as in his correspondence with [[Katie Bay]], he lists Megan as a "possible troll".<ref>[[Katie_Bay_E-mails_2#26 July]]</ref> His reasoning was typical Chris - she had a vagina and didn't want to give him access to it. He also appears to have [[Autism|confused her with another white female brunette]] that placed a sign on his lawn on [[Halloween]] [[2008]].

=== Chris Doxes Megan ===

A series of leaked Facebook postings beginning in [[February 2012]] revealed Chris' ever-growing, pathological, and extreme hatred for Megan. His animosity for Megan supposedly grew much more vitriolic after buying into his parents' [[Chris and reality|completely baseless]] belief that Megan was responsible for the "Hate and Smear Campaign" against Chris:

{{quote|EVERYONE, I have most urgent news. It is Final in My Mind, and from my mother as an eye and ear witness of her consorting with [[Michael Snyder]] LONG Before Novembef, [[2007]]; Megan Schroeder IS the SEED of the Whole Hate and Smear Campaign Against Me on the [[Internet]]. If any of you all Know where she is, or have clues of her, or her brother...current wherabouts, Please Inform Me on THIS WALL, Posthaste. She is Needed Brought to me, my mother and [[Rob Bell|our attorney]], for Great Questioning, and a Huge Piece of my mind. Thank You, Christian W. Chandler|Chris, Facebook, [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|February 18, 2012]]}}

In the following days, Chris posted her contact information in hopes that his friends would troll her. Thankfully, this effort was not successful.

[[File:Fbp10.png|thumb|Chris's moronic attempt at trolling back Megan. He exhibits a belief that if you simply dox people online, they get trolled back, not realizing the large number of reasons why this only happened to him.]]

On 4 April [[2013]], Chris denounced The GAMe PLACe and called for Megan to be "jailed and beaten up", describing her as a "vile, wicked, traitorous bitch,"<ref>[http://i.imgur.com/mBFcon9.png Leaked Facebook post]</ref> a rare display of hatred upon a woman not seen from Chris since [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Judging by a 20 July 2013 Facebook post, Chris seems to be holding Schroeder, along with [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]], to be the main culprit behind the various misfortunes he had over the years.<ref>[[Facebook#Spring Brakers]]</ref>

=== Megagi La Scapegoat ===

Chris's vitriol for Megan continues almost six years after his ban from [[The GAMe PLACe]], and he has even resorted to using Megan as a scapegoat for everything bad that happens to him even if he is blatantly responsible. In the aftermath of a permaban from [[Wal-Mart]] on the weekend of 7 September 2013 for having vandalized an [[Xbox]] One display, Chris flew into an incoherent rage and began blaming Megan for both his Wal-mart and GAMe PLACe bans:

{{quote|If it had not been for Mr. "[[Manajerk]]", Megan Schroeder, and their Internet Troll/Cyber-Bully Breeding and Meeting Ground, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys, My Family and I would not have had go through all of the emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to [[Financhu Crisis|the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By!]] The Manajerk has drained us financially, thinking we are freaking rich. And Megan has robbed me emotionally, started all of the Hate Against Me on the freaking Internet, Never financially paid me back for ALL of the material favors I bought for her off of eBay, and I WANT MY UNCUT "SAILOR MOON' DVDS FROM SEASONS "R" TO "SAILOR STAR" THAT GERMAN WARFARE BITCH CONNED FROM ME RETURNED TO ME!!!|Chris, Facebook, September 7, 2013}}

[[File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|thumb|left|Megan's fate as a Lego voodoo doll. Notice her goth style clothing.]]
On 24 September 2013, Chris claimed in a Facebook post to have received an email from Daniel Mimms about Megan's current whereabouts. He now classes her with the Witch ([[Mary Lee Walsh]]) and the Bastard ([[Michael Snyder]]), and makes three [[Lego]] minifigs of them and shakes them together as a sort of punishment.<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref><ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Yep, the Bitch has not changed a thing...]]</ref> Of course, the notion that Chris can perform [[Wikipedia:Sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]] to harm his enemies is [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|befitting]] with his [[Chris and reality|other delusions]]. Chris continued to use this Lego minifigure of Megan as a totem to relieve his anger for her, and it appeared a month later "in detention" at [[CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013|Lego Manchester High]].

On 3 October 2013, Chris posted another [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born|rambling tirade directed at Megan]] to Facebook. This time, Chris claimed that [[Megagi La Skunk]], Megan's cartoon character that she probably doesn't even remember making, told him that she is "deeply distrustful" and agrees with Chris that Megan should have never been born. Additionally, as if she would even care, Megan's [[Sailor Megtune]] "powers" were "revoked" by Chris. On top of reiterating the previous "wrongdoings" by Megan, Chris has proven nothing at all, except perhaps that he suffers from [[Chris and reality|some form of]] [[Chris and anger|mental illness.]]

{{quote|
You ungrateful bitch. Quit hiding behind the Anons, Trolls, PLace People and every Damned Person who you have deceived into siding with you.

By the way, I have checked with Megagi La Skunk; she feels deep distrust in you. We mutually agree that you should have never been born, even if it meant she would never exist. Also, your Sailor Megtune powers; I created them for you; I have taken them away from you! Usagi and the Sailor Scouts would have been most ashamed of you.

...And by the way, I pray you have been having Really Bad Luck, Feeling Paranoid of EVERYONE, and Shakingly Stressed, because I continue to leave your minifigure upside-down and shaken with the Witch and the Bastard! And I have been feeling the very same grave emotions myself for the Six Long Years, you damn, dirty bitch!|Chris, Facebook, October 3, 2013}}

Chris ended his first rant with a comment reading "NOBODY ELSE COMMENT THIS POST!!!", possibly because he's tired of having his atrocious behavior called out by even the most ass-patting of his friends. The following day, Chris focused all his blame like a laser beam on Megan, insisting that she is responsible for the [[CWCki]], virtually all of his [[List of places that have banned Chris|bans]], the "theft" of his [[Sailor Moon]] DVDs ''yet again'', and astonishingly, even the fact that he lacks a sweetheart. That's right: not only is Megan the one who's responsible for everything Chris inflicted on himself, but also Chris will ''only'' forgive Megan after he gets [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|unpaid]] [[china]] he feels entitled to.

{{quote|I will only forgive Megan, and remove all curses upon her, when she apologizes to me In Person and Face To Face, when the Cwcki, its forum, and Everything Else Against me on the Freaking Internet is GONE, GONE, GONE, when I am NOT BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, when I get my original Uncut Sailor Moon DVDs returned to me, when my Good Name is Cleared of all of the bad, AND when I have my female Sweetheart for Forever. And I am Not Stepping Down beforehand.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 10:09am}}

=== Megan, Queen of the Trolls ===

Roughly two hours later, Chris posted another Facebook message. While seemingly intending to explain the methodology of Megan's master [[troll]] scheme, to everyone else it actually reads more like valid condemnations of Chris' obnoxious behavior by his peers and authority figures. Finally, Chris re-iterated his desire not to hear any criticism from his friends, instructing others not to comment on his post and challenging Megan to a face-to-face meeting. Whether Megan cares enough to challenge, in-person, a delusional 31-year old who lives with his [[Barb|mother]] remains yet to be seen.

{{quote|Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. " "Tell me about it." "He hangs onto me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh." "I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my head after both of those times he stressed out." "I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed for murder." "I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever." "I got it! Let's get an embarrassing photo of him, post it online, and put him to shame forever!" "Mimms and Lucas are tech freaks! Let's enlist them." "Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; his Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!""

I am onto your game that took away six years of my life and destroyed me; you either pay me what you owe, or I continue to curse and haunt you with my father at my side.|Chris, Facebook, October 4, 2013, 12:44pm}}

Chris later deleted the two posts prior to this one; a few hours later, he deleted this one as well.

In late 2020, Chris [[Spirit possession|(while "possessed" by Sonichu)]] revealed that he no longer believed Megan to be a troll, but that "[Chris] was to blame for all of the very stupid impulses and mistakes that ended that friendship."<ref>[[Discord Q&A 11#Chris's Closest Friend]]</ref> This seeming forgiveness may have been spurred on by his belief that Megan is a CPU goddess. It also shows [[Chris and his ego#Persecution complex|Chris's self-serving memory]] in action, considering that she was justified to feel uncomfortable at his unwanted advances on her and understandably creeped out by ShecameforCWC.JPG.

==Years later==
{{quote|I just say let her, wherever she is, live her life, and I'll just stay here, liv- living mine. It's all done and over with.|Chris}}

On 26 January 2016, in the [[CatKnight Interview 2|second CatKnight interview]], Sir Arthur Spatchcock brought up the topic of Megan and the [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Urgent news|grudge]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Pissed off|Chris]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Damn You|had]] [[February 2012 Facebook Posts#Address|against]] [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#GAMe PLACe revelations|her]]. Chris claims that he has finally gotten over that grudge, wishing for her to be left alone to live her own life.

In February 2017, Chris looked up and browsed through Megan's Facebook account,<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Found Megan's Facebook]]</ref> sharing one of her drawings to his own account. When asked by [[Kim Wilson]] if they were friends again, Chris responded:

{{quotebox|Not quite; I just gone through my past and recent sent friend requests, found Megan Schroeder, and I liked her cover photo; it's cute. She has a few cute dogs too. At least, she's doing okay; as far as I can tell.}}

The act of searching for his ex-[[gal pal]] came just four days after Chris posted about his feelings of nostalgia for his "friends" from [[Manchester High]].

Megan was asked about Chris on her Etsy page on July 1 2017. This was her response: <ref>https://1drv.ms/u/s!Aj5gd-lUeHJyhUknNI2IkmGQC1eq</ref>

{{quotebox|'''Hi'''

Thank you very much! Unfortunately with Chris he never learns from his mistakes, he refuses to accept any accountability. When I heard about the house fire, I thought maybe it was a blessing in disguise and he would start a new better life with a clean slate. But from whatI hear, no, he still begs for money and spends it all on legos...

Well thanks for the good wishes, I really appreciate that!}}

On 9 [[October 2017]], Chris once again looked up Megan's Facebook for her online store and left a comment on it:<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Complimenting_Megan_Schroeder</ref>

{{quotebox|I just wanted to tell you I like your craft and are. You have become a lot more talented over the years. Many blessing to you and your family. 🌸}}

The post was later removed.

During the [[Idea Guys]] saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspective of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving Megan include:

*Megan having the memories of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Red Heart]], which she earned while in politics.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1015420612494397441</ref>

On 19 [[May 2018]], a full decade after Megan cut off all communications with him, Chris issued a public apology to Megan and her brother and expressed his desire to reopen old wounds by speaking with them:<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997900592084238336</ref>

{{quotebox|I want to once again humbly apologize to Megan and John Schroeder. I know I did y'all wrong back in the day but time heals all wounds. It would be nice to hear from you with just a simple "hi" or "best of luck". After all of These Years I still need closure.}}

When asked why he would issue this apology publicly when she clearly does not want to be associated with him, Chris responded that he had no choice because she blocked him on Facebook.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997901813868257281</ref>

On 17 [[October 2018]], Chris declared on [[Twitter]] that if he and Barb received [[Financhu Crisis|enough donations]], he would personally drive over to Megan's house and take Barb and his "[[Polyamorous marriage|poly-loves]]" with him.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Donation drive to see Megan]]</ref> About nineteen minutes later, he backtracked on his claim after learning from [[The Captain]]<ref>{{cite farms|thread=48981|post=3873443}}</ref> that Megan possesses guns.<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Megan's got dat stick]] / https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052621336751702019</ref>

In [[the Sons of the Miscreants chats]], [[MKRNightVee]] claimed that Chris wanted her to befriend Megan in order to help him resume communication with Megan. MKR declined to get involved out of concern for Megan.

On 4 [[April 2019]], a trailer for the documentary ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' was released, which featured brief footage of and narration by a brunette woman, shot from behind, speculated and later confirmed to be Megan herself. According to the [[2020 Discord leaks]], Megan actually wanted to physically reunite with Chris, thinking it would be fun; the film's director, Joseph Draft, vetoed this, feeling it would be "too corny and forced". Megan later requested that her footage be cut entirely from the film, a wish that was unintentionally granted when Draft destroyed the hard drive containing the film's only known completed copy.

On 7 January 2021, Megan was asked if her association with Chris and the ensuing status of minor internet celebrity that came with it was ever thought about. She gave a [[Honest Content|True and Honest]] response, saying that she doesn't even think of it.<ref>[[https://i.imgur.com/AMoHZbI.png]]</ref>

==Interviews==
During January 2019, a YouTuber by the moniker BazzBe interviewed Megan over Facebook. BazzBe then put together a video narrating the chat.

{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = BazzBe's Interview with Megan Schroeder
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|9FdLfSDD14o}}
| Stardate = January 2019
| Featuring =
| previous =
| next =
}}

===Transcript===
{{quoteboxyellow|[''autistic sigh''] Oh man. Alright, so, like I said earlier in the video [this is part five of a series, he is apparently referring to an earlier part], I did get the chance to speak to Megan today. Um, hold on [fiddles with screen, which due to being 480px is almost completely unreadable on YouTube] ... uh huh, I was [hiding?] the messages.

So basically, I messaged her, uh, it was accidentally, but I messaged her on her business page because apparently she's in business now and, like, cool. So she asked me to talk to her on her normal page, so I did, I found her, and I asked her: so, I'm sure that you know what I want to talk about, things from past events.

She said: '''Oh yeah, you know, Chris.'''

And I told her, like, I'm very drawn to the story, I've been covering it on YouTube, and I figured it would be cool if I could contact to you so I could see how things, like, how you feel about it nowadays.

She goes: '''Well honestly, I don't follow his antics at all, I've seen a few recent things from someone that alerts me that he's doing things regarding me or whatever.'''

And I asked her, well, were you ever really friends, or did you just feel pity for him?

She said, '''No, I'd say despite his advances, it was a good friendship. He was a lot of fun to converse with. People think that I was using him for things.''' (Which I've heard a lot of people say she was just using him to buy things, but it's been like fifteen years, what would she gain from lying to us?) '''People think that I've been using him for things, but I'd always presented him gifts for his birthday or Christmas. Things from eBay I would either give cash or trade for mangas or DVDs or whatever.'''

I said, did you ever think you would reunite, how do you feel about ... sorry I'm tired ... how do you feel about being a part of all this and having a fanbase?

And she said, '''I didn't know I had fans too.'''

[''Vaguely thirsty grin''] You do! '''Personally I think it's best to stay away and not be involved with him again.''' I said, yeah, you do have a fanbase, and you're definitely the saddest part of the story in my opinion. I do generally believe that, now I know a lot about some of the upcoming stuff that's coming to the fore but I will say Megan was the part where it started going downhill. She was the beginning of the snowball effect, and I think that's when the rock bottom starts to come if you know what I mean, 'cause that was like, the last real friend he had before he fucked it all up.

Ah, ok, where was I at?

'''Comparing him now, I'd say he was definitely more normal during my time with him. That's saying something.'''

How many others have contacted you over this?

'''Oh, I couldn't keep count. It's always been through facebook and as well as Etsy, it's always been half and half condolences and trolls, weens trying to get a reaction or a reply out of me.'''

I told her I was just fascinated by the whole thing and I'm happy to have contacted you and have you take the time to take part in this. And she didn't mind, I was very awesome, I mean, damn that's cool. I was always, oh, I'm sorry, I was wanting to interview her on Discord so I could record our voices talking about it, but honestly I didn't think she would know how to use Discord, [''strange noise''], I'm not saying anything bad, she's a little bit older than me, also, it was like 9:30 in the morning so ... I told her I was sorry to bother her and I understand this might be effecting your life in a negative way because I understand about the artwork and stuff. And she said well, not necessarily, I made a couple of really close friends because of it, I think there's a misconception out there that the whole thing traumatized me which isn't the case at all.

That's good. That's actually something I was curious about. And I asked her [''laughs''], does she still enjoy Sailor Moon and My Little Pony?

She said, '''I have a Sailor Moon collection but I don't actively collect it anymore. It's been both a hobby and an investment. A few dolls sell now on eBay for $500 each. That's for Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and MLP''' -- My Little Pony [''autistic smirk''] -- '''I sold those off a few years ago. I still play 3DS games and have a few Pikachu plush but I'm not into the whole anime fandom thing.'''

OK, fair enough. I asked her do you still remain in Virginia or did you escape?

She said she's still in Virginia and she's done some traveling around and overseas. So, then she told me that she was going to take her dogs or go feed her animals, and I said that was fine, but then I just went ahead and said hey, let's just postpone the rest of this and we'll just finish up tomorrow or, like, another day. Um ... yeah [''smirks again''] There's so much more I want to find out and I want to see, like, what all she's willing to discuss, but if you're interested in, like, I wouldn't say contacting, because I don't want anyone to really harass this woman, let her live her life.

If you are interested in buying one of her, uh, forest things ... I didn't actually really take the time to look at these, they're kind of cool ... [''weird smile, long pause''] ... but yeah, if you're interested in like, buying one of these, um, I'd say contact her, they look pretty interesting and you know some people have, like, a thing for cute animals, and I think I might just buy one, just to promote, so, thank you Megan, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about this stuff today. Hopefully we can continue this and go a little bit deeper into it, but, alright. Thank you guys for washing, I really appreciate it, drop me a like, subscribe, help me out, and I will see you guys for part six. I can't wait. Goodnight.}}

A lost interview was also conducted at some point during 2019, for the cancelled ''[[Chris Chan VS. The Internet]]'' documentary, however, the director got cold feet and refused to release any of the documentary footage. A single line of Megan's from the interview is preserved from the documentary's trailer: "Now, he... he seems like a totally different person to me."

==Gallery==

===Art by Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:061-MegansSailorMoonCD.jpg|[[Sailor Moon]]
Image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon
Image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|[[Megagi La Skunk]] ~ The pose in this and the following few drawings are traced from [http://info.sonicretro.org/File:Advance2_sonic.png this artwork] of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].
Image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl, which Chris reused as "Canino the Houndhowl" in the [[Wedding Comic]].
Image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|An OC based on the [[Pokémon]] Houndoom.
Image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|An OC based on Absol.
Image:321-IceCune.jpg|An OC based on Suicune.
Image:322-houdourstuff.jpg
Image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|"Ace of Clubs" ~ Megan's original design for [[Patti-chan]], until Chris stole the design.
Image:Megyoshimitsu1.jpg|[[wikipedia:Yoshimitsu|Yoshimitsu]] drawing, made in [[1990s|1996]].<ref name="tekken forces">[https://web.archive.org/web/20091012030656/http://www.tekkenforces.com/fanart/fanartgmegimitsu.php Tekken Forces Fanart Gallery]</ref>
Image:Megyoshimitsu2.jpg|''[[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girls]]''-style Yoshimitsu<ref name="tekken forces"/>
</gallery></center>

===Art of Megan===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sonichu07-P03.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P04.jpg
Image:Sonichu07-P05.jpg|KINDA OF A [[Dragon Ball Z|GOKU-GET-EM]] ATTITUDE. :)
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg
Image:305-ACMegan.jpg
Image:306-ACMeganBck.jpg
Image:307-MegSch.jpg
Image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg
Image:312-PeanutsMegan.jpg|Another [[wikipedia:Schroeder (Peanuts)|Schroeder]].
File:ModNation GalPal.jpg|He just can't let go...
File:Sept13 Imgur 28.jpg|[[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Megan.
File:Lego2 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|He keeps it upside down to torture her.
File:Lego3 - 24 September 2013.jpeg|When he feels REALLY angry, he shakes it.
File:Meganfight 26.jpg|Chris victorious over the evil bitch.

</gallery></center>

===Miscellaneous===
<center><gallery>
Image:323-MegansDarkChao.JPG
</gallery></center>

==References==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Megan Schroeder}}
<references />

{{-}}
{{MeganSaga}}
{{StackhouseSaga}}
{{EDSaga}}
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{People}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Schroeder, Megan}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Gal pals]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Megan Saga|*]]
[[Category:Sweethearts-to-be]]

DStecks

2022-01-05T22:21:22Z

DougShanz:

{{articleofthenow}}

{{infobox
| title = DStecks
| image = [[File:DStecks.png|250px|center]]
|header1 = Information
|label1 = Name
|data1 = Daniel Steckly
|label2 = Also known as
|data2 = DStecks
|label4 = Gender
|data4 = Male
|label5 = Nationality
|data5 = Canadian
|label6 = [[Chris and race|Race]]
|data6 = White
|label7 = Occupation
|data7 = [[YouTube]] Reviewer
}}

'''DStecks''' is a Canadian [[YouTube]] personality who donated $1,000 to Chris in [[September 2015]].

He gave the money through a listing on Chris's [[Etsy]] shop, so Chris was obligated to produce 100 pages of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic in exchange, although he failed to do so. Chris reached a milestone in laziness on 8 March 2017 by going for 500 days without working on the comic. He eventually ended the hiatus two months later, after 561 days, through no involvement from DStecks.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Bad Reviews on Sonichu==
DStecks had been following Chris for years and has accounts on both the CWCki (joined February 2010, with a lengthy list of edits ending in June 2015)<ref>https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/DStecks&offset=&limit=500&target=DStecks
</ref> and Kiwi Farms (joined May 2013).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/members/dstecks.633/</ref>

He first reviewed Sonichu on his ''Bad Reviews'' YouTube channel in September 2010,<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqjYISYAbVU</ref> and would make many more episodes on it over the next five years. On December 2015, he uploaded the last of his reviews on Sonichu,<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t4QwteFaBg</ref> having reached the end of Chris’s comic output.

==Donation==
On 5 September 2015, one day after Chris returned to [[Sonichu 11]] by uploading 11 pages to his Facebook, DStecks donated $1,000 USD through a [[Etsy#|donation listing]] in which Chris had [[Lie|advertised that, for every $10 donated, he would make one page for Sonichu 11]].

DStecks discussed the donation in the video below (at 20:30):
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Bad Reviews 31: Sonichu 21 (3/3)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yeoxjOI5IBo}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2015]]
| maker = DStecks
| subject = Sonichu 11}}

DStecks left a comment for Chris:

{{quoteboxred|Hello, Christine. My name is Daniel Steckly, and you don't know me, but I've been a follower of yours for some time now.

For the past five years, I've been reviewing Sonichu for YouTube, and amassed a small following. You could call me a troll of yours. But as the
years have gone on, I've had mixed feelings about the whole deal. Next ''[cutoff]''}}

Chris had this to say in response to this remarkable generosity:

{{quotebox|Thank You!!! I tell you what, Not Only will I draw you (you look like Seth Rogan, by the way) and put your name in this and the next book, but, I will make and send you the Set of Eight Amiibo Figures of the main Sonichu Cast (Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, and Magi-Chan), a Sonichu Medallion, AND, the CWC three piece Amiibo Set (me, past and present versions, and Chris Chan Sonichu). This project will take up to eight weeks to get the figures required and put them together. And I will uphold my promise/pledge of a hundred pages from this donation as well.

And from that, while Everyone gets a character drawing, you have given me the idea to do like PBS, and offer a gift for each increment of donation. I will update the listing with these details later today or tomorrow. I need to make and print the back cards for each character (including my three characters) before I can make each Amiibo figure listing, as well as take a few photographs.

Also, here's a little Sonichu Trivia for you to share: free one time bonus for you. Which two characters did Christine Chandler have to repose for their Amiibo Figures (compared to her original prototype set)? Answer: Blake and Punchy Sonichu.

And I will give personal permission to review these figures in a video after you receive them. I will draw (today or tomorrow) and Mail the drawing for you after this weekend.

Again, Thank You so much for your generous donation. Have a Great and Safe Day.}}

DStecks commented about his donation on Kiwi Farms:
{{quoteboxred|The Patreon contributed about $300, and about $900 came out of my own bank account. (the numbers don't add up to $1000 because of CAD and USD exchange rates).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sep-11-2015-chris-gets-1-000-donation-from-a-generous-kiwi.12550/page-3#post-968525</ref>}}

On 16 November, DStecks received his medallion and Amiibos from Chris. {{quoteboxred|I finally received them in the mail; Chris promised me them for the donation.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-reviews.951/page-22#post-1095940</ref>}}

{{quoteboxred|I'm going to be doing a proper video with them, at Chris's request, but first impressions: a bunch of them have bits broken off in the box, but the package arrived beat to shit, so that could easily have occurred during shipping. Also, all of them except for Sonichu and Blachu have the number 1 on the bottom (Sonichu has 43 and Blachu has 16, IIRC), so unless Chris numbers like a programmer I'm pretty sure nobody has ever bought any of the amiibos except for Sonichu and Blachu.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sonichu-reviews.951/page-22#post-1095999</ref>}}

He displayed them in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t4QwteFaBg Bad Reviews 32: A Sonichu Christmas].

==Motives and criticism==
DStecks seemed to have some remorse from gaining popularity to his YouTube channel as a result of mocking Chris's comic, saying "I can't take back what I've done, but in one specific way I ''can''", to explain why he was "personally financing the continuation of Sonichu 11". He also seemed to want to end his association with Sonichu on a high note, as he said that, due to being the "executive producer" of Sonichu, he would be unable to review Sonichu 11 without "a violation of ethics"<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeoxjOI5IBo</ref> (although he would betray that point only a few months later).

DStecks also gained criticism for his inability to review the comic without stating his own personal beliefs and political views. As he called out both the trolls and others for their motives, such as calling Asperchu the biggest attack on Chris due to the comic itself being attacked and believing that Leary deserved some backlash despite it being a parody. He stated he was ashamed of his generation due to Gamergate and used Anita Sarkeesian footage to prove a feminism point (albeit sped up).

His donation is controversial with Christorians, as some believe that he honestly wanted Sonichu 11 to continue and was [[naïve]] about Chris's laziness. Others argue that this [[ween|weenish]] move validated begging in Chris's eyes.

[[Arthur Spatchcock]], in the following year, commented about his opinion of DStecks and the donation:

{{quoteboxgreen|I've brought this up in previous conversations but I think that Dstecks is inadvertently a master troll without truly realizing it. He gave Chris the thousand dollars with no actual stipulations associated with it; In Chris' mind that adds up to a gift and he was in no was required to do anything remotely Sonichu related with a dime of it. Now Chris has this [[Financhu Crisis|very real concept that he was fans willing to make obnoxious donations at the drop of a hat]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-7#post-1379028</ref>}}

While ostensibly for a good cause, DSteck's overly-generous donation ultimately had little effect on Chris's finances (nor his habits regarding money in general). DStecks is sometimes used by commentators as an example of [[Ween]]ery and [[White knight]]ing at its most inane, with copycats attempting to pay Chris large sums of money to have him perform or provide to their liking, only to receive very little, if anything, in return.

==Outcome==
[[File:IMG 3207 hd720.mp400001.png|thumb|Chris, [[IMG 3207|screwing around]] on the bed he bought with the donated funds.]]
Chris, predictably, failed to deliver on his end of the deal for the comics, delivering only 16 pages out of the 100 promised. His last upload for [[Sonichu 11]] was on 25 October 2015. It’s unknown if DStecks discussed the matter any further with Chris.

As for DStecks, he went back on his word not to review Sonichu any further by uploading a video reviewing Sonichu 11 on 24 December<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t4QwteFaBg</ref>. He claimed that "there was some remaining Sonichu I did not finance, and thus can still review without violating journalistic ethics." However, this was a lie, as the review contains the 16 pages Chris had uploaded after being paid by DStecks.

[[Arthur Spatchcock]] later spoke with Chris about the donation and learned that he bought a bed with it - one of Chris's more practical purchases, but this did nothing to advance the comic.

{{quoteboxgreen|Also for everyone who wonders what Chris did with that 1000$ from Dstecks he was surprisingly responsible with it. He actually bought a bed with it; a 600$ one at that. Some went towards bills even...but why a bed, you ask? Because Barb and Chris were sharing a bed after the fire and she got mad at him one night for spooning incorrectly.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-4#post-1378654</ref>}}

Much later, in [[June 2017]], Chris recommenced uploading comic pages, this time behind a paywall on [[Patreon]], completing [[Sonichu 11]] after nearly eight years of developmental hell and moving on to further books. In 2017, Chris was far more productive with producing pages than he was in 2015, due to his interest having naturally shifted back to the comic - further proving that it is a bad idea to try forcing content out of Chris, especially by wasting $1,000 on the effort.

==In the comic==
[[File:DStecks Sonichu12.jpg|thumb]]

DStecks appears as "Danny Steckle" in [[Sonichu 12]], in a set of panels drawn in June 2017. At CWCville's [[SLGBTQ]] Pride Festival, Danny is greeted by [[Angelica]], who thanks him for his generous donation to the soup hotels, mentioning that new beds and food were acquired with the funds.

==Gallery==
Below are screenshots of the donation which DStecks had included in his announcement video.
<center><gallery>
File:Bad Reviews 31 Sonichu 21 (3 3)00001.png
File:Bad Reviews 31 Sonichu 21 (3 3)00002.png
File:Bad Reviews 31 Sonichu 21 (3 3)00003.png
File:Bad Reviews 31 Sonichu 21 (3 3)00004.png
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and business]]
*[[Patreon]]
*[[Financhu Crisis]]

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/user/DStecks YouTube channel]
*[https://socialblade.com/youtube/user/dstecks Socialblade analysis on his channel]
*[https://www.patreon.com/dstecks Patreon]
*[[User:DStecks|CWCki profile]]
*[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/DStecks&offset=&limit=500&target=DStecks DStecks’s contributions to the CWCki]
*[https://kiwifarms.net/members/dstecks.633/ Profile on Kiwi Farms]

{{People}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:People]]

Barbara Chandler

2022-01-05T21:25:17Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{Unreliable|Barb has a long history [[Gal_Pal_E-mails_3#Borb_vs_MAGfest|manipulating]] people. |She may also have dementia or is faking it to garner sympathy.}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]].</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Chris and Sex#Incest|Oedipal complex]].}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
|saga = [[GAMe PLACe]], [[Incest]]
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Affair with Mother|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Nonetheless, some offered sympathy to Barb in light of some incredibly dark revelations late into her life. Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that [[Affair with Mother|he began an incestuous relationship with Barbara]] (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and [[Jail Saga|Chris being sent to jail, awaiting trial]].

Barb returned to her residence at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> apparently appearing more rattled than usual.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref> A [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]] revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash claiming that she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health.<ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> This was later confirmed by a Carfax report<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-latest-letter-to-kengle-barb-sustains-serious-injuries-in-automobile-accident-30th-november.107209/page-13#post-10675538 Confirmation of Barb's 2002 Dodge Caravan being totalted]</ref> and Barb being charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> As it stands, it seems very likely that Barb will pass away with a heavy burden; unable to say goodbye to the son that she pampered and spoiled rotten, and in similar conditions to the ones that ended her husband's life.

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' Chris himself). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger></ref> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger></ref>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment. [[Affair with Mother|Horrifyingly qualifies as foreshadowing.]]]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[Affair with Mother|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
{{protip|Despite being heavily speculated by Christorians, it is not actually known if Barb has dementia or some other degenerative brain disease.}}

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger></ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated, thought it should still be noted that the bar for being deemed qualified enough to take care of oneself is low. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Affair with Mother|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Barbara Chandler

2022-01-05T21:24:12Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{Unreliable|Barb has a long history [[Gal_Pal_E-mails_3#Borb_vs_MAGfest|manipulating]] people. |She may also have dementia. }}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]].</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Chris and Sex#Incest|Oedipal complex]].}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
|saga = [[GAMe PLACe]], [[Incest]]
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Affair with Mother|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Nonetheless, some offered sympathy to Barb in light of some incredibly dark revelations late into her life. Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that [[Affair with Mother|he began an incestuous relationship with Barbara]] (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and [[Jail Saga|Chris being sent to jail, awaiting trial]].

Barb returned to her residence at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> apparently appearing more rattled than usual.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref> A [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]] revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash claiming that she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health.<ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> This was later confirmed by a Carfax report<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-latest-letter-to-kengle-barb-sustains-serious-injuries-in-automobile-accident-30th-november.107209/page-13#post-10675538 Confirmation of Barb's 2002 Dodge Caravan being totalted]</ref> and Barb being charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> As it stands, it seems very likely that Barb will pass away with a heavy burden; unable to say goodbye to the son that she pampered and spoiled rotten, and in similar conditions to the ones that ended her husband's life.

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' Chris himself). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger></ref> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger></ref>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment. [[Affair with Mother|Horrifyingly qualifies as foreshadowing.]]]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[Affair with Mother|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
{{protip|Despite being heavily speculated by Christorians, it is not actually known if Barb has dementia or some other degenerative brain disease.}}

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger></ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated, thought it should still be noted that the bar for being deemed qualified enough to take care of oneself is low. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Affair with Mother|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Barbara Chandler

2022-01-05T21:22:56Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{Unreliable|Barb has a long history [[manipulating|Gal_Pal_E-mails_3#Borb_vs_MAGfest]] people. |She may also have dementia. }}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]].</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Chris and Sex#Incest|Oedipal complex]].}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
|saga = [[GAMe PLACe]], [[Incest]]
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Affair with Mother|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Nonetheless, some offered sympathy to Barb in light of some incredibly dark revelations late into her life. Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that [[Affair with Mother|he began an incestuous relationship with Barbara]] (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and [[Jail Saga|Chris being sent to jail, awaiting trial]].

Barb returned to her residence at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> apparently appearing more rattled than usual.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref> A [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]] revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash claiming that she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health.<ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> This was later confirmed by a Carfax report<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-latest-letter-to-kengle-barb-sustains-serious-injuries-in-automobile-accident-30th-november.107209/page-13#post-10675538 Confirmation of Barb's 2002 Dodge Caravan being totalted]</ref> and Barb being charged with Fail to Yield Right-of-Way for the incident.<ref>[[:File:Barbara Chandler Fail to Yield Right-of-Way charge.png]]</ref> As it stands, it seems very likely that Barb will pass away with a heavy burden; unable to say goodbye to the son that she pampered and spoiled rotten, and in similar conditions to the ones that ended her husband's life.

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' Chris himself). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger></ref> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger></ref>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment. [[Affair with Mother|Horrifyingly qualifies as foreshadowing.]]]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[Affair with Mother|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
{{protip|Despite being heavily speculated by Christorians, it is not actually known if Barb has dementia or some other degenerative brain disease.}}

===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26"></ref>

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger></ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[Chris and Sex#Incest|incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated, thought it should still be noted that the bar for being deemed qualified enough to take care of oneself is low. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Affair with Mother|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{IncestSaga}}
{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

User:DougShanz

2022-01-05T20:53:33Z

DougShanz: Created page with "sup gamers"

sup gamers

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:46:56Z

DougShanz: /* Collisions */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

<div>
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
</center>
</div>
{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

* On 24 [[November 2021]] [[Barb]] got into an an accident with a tractor-trailer, totaling yet again another variation of Son-Chu. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> <ref>https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/roanoke-valley-news/rockbridge-county-tractor-trailer-crash-leads-to-miles-of-delays-along-i-81-north/</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:46:06Z

DougShanz: /* Collisions */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

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{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
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==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

* On 24 [[November 2021]] [[Barb]] got into an an accident with a tractor-trailer, wrecking yet again another variation of Son-Chu. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> <ref>https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/roanoke-valley-news/rockbridge-county-tractor-trailer-crash-leads-to-miles-of-delays-along-i-81-north/</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:45:46Z

DougShanz: /* Collisions */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

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{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
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{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

* On [[24 November 2021]] [[Barb]] got into an an accident with a tractor-trailer, wrecking yet again another variation of Son-Chu. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref> <ref>https://www.wfxrtv.com/news/local-news/roanoke-valley-news/rockbridge-county-tractor-trailer-crash-leads-to-miles-of-delays-along-i-81-north/</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:43:56Z

DougShanz: /* Barb's Dodge Caravan */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

<div>
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
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{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Barbara Chandler

2021-12-09T02:40:56Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Incest|Oedipal complex]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Incest|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that he began an [[incest|incest]]uous relationship with Barbara (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and Chris being sent to jail, [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|awaiting trial]]. Barb returned to the hoard at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> seemingly less cognizant than she was before Chris started fucking her.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021]]</ref> In a [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]], Chris revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash, she had suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref>

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' [[incest|Chris himself]]). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger/> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger/> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger/>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in [[Incest|an intimate moment]].]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[incest|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Incest|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Barbara Chandler

2021-12-09T02:40:16Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Incest|Oedipal complex]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Incest|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that he began an [[incest|incest]]uous relationship with Barbara (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and Chris being sent to jail, [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|awaiting trial]]. Barb returned to the hoard at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> seemingly less cognizant than she was before Chris started fucking her.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021]]</ref> In a [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]], Chris revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash, she suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref>

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' [[incest|Chris himself]]). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger/> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger/> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger/>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in [[Incest|an intimate moment]].]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[incest|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Incest|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Barbara Chandler

2021-12-09T02:39:53Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Incest|Oedipal complex]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Incest|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that he began an [[incest|incest]]uous relationship with Barbara (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and Chris being sent to jail, [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|awaiting trial]]. Barb returned to the hoard at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> seemingly less cognizant than she was before Chris started fucking her.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021]]</ref> In a [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]] Chris revealed that Barb was involved in a car crash, she suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref>

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' [[incest|Chris himself]]). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger/> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger/> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger/>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in [[Incest|an intimate moment]].]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[incest|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Incest|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Barbara Chandler

2021-12-09T02:37:42Z

DougShanz:

{{Honest}}

{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend [[Love Quest|finding yourself]] a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13#Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud...]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She [[Death threats|threatens to kill me]] in her episode of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Barbara was more of a “Guilty Pleasure” waifu|Chris [[Chris and escapism#Roleplaying|roleplaying]] as Magi-Chan, demonstrating his [[Incest|Oedipal complex]]}}

{{Infobox Person
|name = Barbara Chandler
|image = July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|imagesize=250px|
|birthname = Barbara Ann Weston
|aliases = Barb [[Obesity|Snorlax]] [[:File:Chandler family as ponies.png|Sugar Darling]] Barbie Chan<ref>[[June 2021 social media posts#Decent flashlight]]</ref> lady friend<ref>[[Incest fallout chat leaks]]</ref>
|label3 = Date of Birth
|year = 1941
|month = 10
|day = 1
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = Ran Coleman Yeatts (1961–1963, divorce) [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] (1980–2011, his death)
|children = [[Cole Smithey|Joseph Cole Smithey]] [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|father = Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955)
|mother = Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967)
|occupation = Office worker (retired)
}}

'''Barbara Ann Chandler''' (née '''Weston'''; born 1 {{w|1941#October|October 1941}}<ref name=Harvey155>https://web.archive.org/web/20170903151241/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and the mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since, although Chris did have [[Incest|other, more twisted gifts]] in mind for his mother years later.

Though Bob has remained relatively popular with [[Trolls]] and Christorians alike, the same cannot be said for Barbara, who has been consistently disliked by nearly everyone but Chris and her late husband – with many members of her own family distancing themselves from her at least since at least the funeral of one of [[Aunt Corrina|Chris's aunts]]. Whereas Bob eventually recognized his shortcomings as a parent to Chris and attempted to correct them late into his life, Barbara has consistently been one of the biggest enablers of Chris's bad behavior since he was a child, on top of emotionally manipulating, threatening, and on occasion physically abusing him. Barbara has been instrumental in turning Chris into the spoiled manchild that he is, and like Bob before her, has encouraged him not to seek a serious career path in favor of [[Monthly tugboat|getting welfare off of his condition]], in spite of the fact that he could get a minimum-wage job and still qualify for welfare.

It has long been suspected that she has some form of narcissistic personality disorder, which goes hand-in-hand with what we know about her neglectful to abusive relationship with Chris, along with his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]], who received a much worse treatment from her. Her hoarding habits also indirectly lead to the [[2014 house fire]], as sparks from a coffee maker that had no business being plugged into an extension cord in the bathroom burned the paper, plastic, and wood in the room before engulfing the house, and much of the [[Financhu Crisis]] is subsequently on her. Nonetheless, Chris remains unaware of just how bad a parent she's been to him, and he continues to cling to her in an Oedipal fashion (to a horrifying degree, as we'd later find out) as she approaches death's door, and he's no closer to becoming a self-sufficient adult two decades after graduating high school.

For much of the Classic Era of Christory, Barbara was extremely obese and napped a lot (earning her the nickname "{{w|Snorlax}}", after the fat, sleepy [[Pokémon]] of the same name), but she has since shed a ton of weight in her twilight years. This sharp loss of weight, loss of hair color, and knowledge of her son's status as a living internet meme all factored into her role in appearing in multiple begging videos, alongside reportedly playing up senility for the camera to [[Chris and manipulation|manipulate]] viewers into paying for donations. Unfortunately, [[Chris and money|much like her son]], she spends most of the donations that she receives on frivolous crap rather than working to resolve her mounting [[debt]] that which will be placed upon Chris after she kicks the bucket.

Near the end of [[June 2021]], Chris told [[Isabella Loretta Janke]] that he began an [[incest|incest]]uous relationship with Barbara (long speculated to be suffering from degenerative brain disease, which by extension could mean that she may have been [[Chris and sex#Rape|unable to consent]] with her son), and audio of this revelation quickly leaked out to the internet at large. Chris previously told [[Null]] that he'd found a [[boyfriend-free girl]] over the age of 50 who was an accountant years ago – details which match up with a description of who Barb is – leading Null to believe that Chris found a girlfriend who he didn't want people to find out about before eventually realizing that Chris molested his own mother. Following this horrifying revelation, Null severed his ties with Chris, and the damage done was swift and immeasurable as both Chris and Barb were vacated from [[14 Branchland Court]] and separated by the [[Jerkops|authorities]], with Barb being placed under medical care and Chris being sent to jail, [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|awaiting trial]]. Barb returned to the hoard at some point in [[August 2021]],<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210904171746/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aug-29-2021-barb-returned-to-14bc.99387//</ref> seemingly less cognizant than she was before Chris started fucking her.<ref>[[Fan visits#e1ectricthunder]]</ref> In an [[October 2021]] letter to a fan, Chris mentioned that he had received a letter from Barb during his stay in jail.<ref name=25letter>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021]]</ref> In a [[November 2021]] letter to [[Kengle]] Chris revealed that Barb was in a car crash, she suffered two broken ribs and a concussion worsening her declining health. <ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref>

==Spelling of name==
Barbara's high school yearbook and both her marriage licenses spell her full maiden name as ''Barbara '''Ann''' Weston'', as do other sources like Harvey Powers's genealogical website<ref name=Harvey155/> (her divorce decree omits the middle name entirely). Chris, however, usually (though not consistently) spells her name as ''Barbara '''Anne''' Weston Chandler'' with an e. This may be because he believes she is named after [[Anne Boleyn]].

==Early life==
[[Image:Babs1960.PNG|thumb|left|Barbara's senior photo from high school. While she looks pretty here, she would not age well.]]

Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896–1955) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911–1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was 29 or 30]].<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20170825073641/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html</ref> Otto died in 1955, after falling from a horse-drawn wagon.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200603075643/http://genealogytrails.com/vir/charlotte/obits_w.html</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20180425032751/http://www.harveypowers.com:80/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref> For whatever reason, Barb believes that she is descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], but this is impossible given that Elizabeth I, Boleyn's only daughter, died without an heir. She also thinks that a more recent ancestor named [[Daniel Weston]] boarded the ''Mayflower'', but no such person exists.

According to a [[January 2012 Facebook Posts#February is coming up|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 29 January 2012, Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years. Why Chris knows this is anyone's guess, although it's possible that he learned the basic principles of [[Honest Content]] from Mommy Dearest. According to Chris's leaked conversation with [[Isabella Loretta Janke]], Barbara has had sex with eight different men over the course of her life (including Bob but ''not'' [[incest|Chris himself]]). She has never [[mass debating|masturbated]].

[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|Barb, emboldened by her hoard, evolved into a Snorlax over time.]]

Barb grew up in Red Oak, Virginia, and graduated from {{w|Randolph-Henry High School}} in Charlotte Court House, Virginia in 1960. Due to family poverty, she was obliged to sew her own clothing.<ref name=younger/> While at Randolph-Henry, she was treasurer of her school's chapter of the [[Women's rights|Future Homemakers of America]], a member of the Randolph-Henry bus patrol, a typist for her school yearbook, ''The Log'', and a member of the [[Spanish]] Club. She was also a member of many other school organizations, suggesting that she was very involved in extracurricular activities while in high school. She was also known for her perfect attendance record from her sophomore through her senior years of high school.

According to her senior yearbook, her nickname in high school was Bobcat, possibly due to [[Obesity|her figure]].

Sometime after her father died in 1955, according to Chris, she left Red Oak and "decided to set off on her own... [[Love Quest|in search for romance and her future]]". Either before or after she left her mother disowned her. After she left home, "her siblings, cousins, and others in Redoak" began to spread rumors about her and call her a slut in her absence.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Chris has scabies too]]</ref> As it would turn out, her relationship with her family would never get any better.

According to [[Cousin Al|Al]], Barb aggressively went after one of her sisters' husbands or fiancés when she was young, alienating herself from all of her siblings except for [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]], who remained on good terms with her "for some reason". Al suspects that the man she went after was [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Tom Ashby]], the husband of her sister [[Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom|Harriet]].<ref>[[Catherine#The_bowling_outing]]</ref> Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived Corrina.<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref>

According to Chris, Barb majored in "accounting and numbers".<ref name=younger/> Where and when she attended college is unknown, as is the kind of degree she obtained.

==Cole and his various fathers==
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|left|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she is {{w|Maury Povich}} trash.

Based on his experiences with various stepfathers, [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates".<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref> The use of "scurrilous" in this statement makes no sense, suggesting [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] tries to use [[Chris and English|big]] words to impress people – [[Laughs Under Lucricities|a family trait]], perhaps.

===Jack Dale Smithey===
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claims she was once married. However, Cole was unable to find a marriage license for the couple or any photographs from their alleged wedding.<ref name="coleemail2" /> In 1995, Cole's friend, syndicated cartoonist {{w|Ted Rall}}, made an Internet post questioning the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the year Cole was born) and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref> Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

According to Barbara, she and Jack had a "fancy" wedding which was attended by her sisters and mother. Chris told Cole that Barbara considers Jack "a total drunk and loser".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

===Ran Coleman Yeatts===
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest College yearbook.]]

Records found by Cole in Richmond show that Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in June 1961. Yeatts was born in {{w|Pittsylvania County, Virginia}} but grew up in {{w|South Hill, Virginia|South Hill}}, a town about 35 miles east of Red Oak which also happens to be the hometown of Barb's mother Carrie and her moonshiner dad.<ref name=yeatts>[http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372 Ran Coleman Yeatts obituary]</ref> As late as 1960 he was enrolled at {{w|Wake Forest College}} in {{w|Winston-Salem, North Carolina}} (now Wake Forest University). He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref> Coincidentally, Bob Chandler was also living in Winston-Salem around the same time, where he was married to Patricia Faye Harley and working as an engineer.

According to their marriage certificate, Ran was living in Richmond at the time of the marriage, while Barb was still living in Red Oak. They were married at a Baptist church in {{w|Wylliesburg, Virginia}} near Red Oak (which the divorce documents misspell as "Sylliesburg").

A divorce was granted to Barb on 15 May 1963, at which point she was pregnant with Cole and living in Richmond. The decree states that Ran deserted her on 28 April 1962, although the final digit in "1962" appears to have been altered from a "3". Cole was born on 24 July 1963.

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him during his childhood and was introduced as a "friend of the family".<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts later remarried and died aged 67 on 6 June 2007. His obituary in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' makes no mention of Cole or Barb, although Ran did have a grandson also named Cole.<ref name=yeatts/>

<center><gallery>
File:1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license.jpeg|1961 6 17 - Barb and Ran marriage license
File:1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce.jpeg|1963 5 15 - Barb, Ran divorce
</gallery></center>

===Jerry Harmon===
Jerry Harmon is Barbara's former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond during the early 1970s. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

==Life with Bob==
[[File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg|thumb|1980 6 7 - Borb's marriage license]]
[[File:Barab?.JPG|thumb|Seen in the background of a 2020 photograph; this is probably Barb's wedding portrait]]
Bob and Barbara met at "Maddy's Pub" in Richmond<ref>[[April 2012 Facebook posts#Fear of the future]]</ref> (probably Matt's British Pub in Shockoe Slip, where Bob was a sing-along leader)<ref>[[IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES]]</ref> on a karaoke night in 1979. Barbara was there with friends and [[Bob]] was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, vividly recalled them being a pair of drunken dumbasses.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" /> Later that year Bob was transferred from Richmond to [[Charlottesville]]. They settled in the outlying suburb of [[Ruckersville]].

Barbara worked for several years for Virginia Power (VEPCO, today called [[Wikipedia:Dominion Energy|Dominion Energy]]) in the finance department.<ref name=younger/>

In September [[1993]], Chris and Bob moved from Ruckersville to Chesterfield County near Richmond so that Chris would be able to attend middle school at a mainstream school.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> Barbara did not accompany them and remained in Ruckersville. Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement and that she still visited Bob and Chris every weekend during the time she lived separately from them. After going into retirement when Chris was in the eighth grade (early 1996), Barbara came to live with her husband and son in Chesterfield.<ref>[[Mailbag 32#Chris is no stranger to stupid name changes]]</ref><ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg]]</ref>

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they spent their twilight years from 2000 onward living in their Ruckersville home with Chris. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the [[14_Branchland_Court|family home]] and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house. According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They began sleeping in different rooms sometime around the mid-2000s "because they're not as close as they should, used to or can be".<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> It can be presumed that as they got older, they grew more distant, but never to the point of wanting a divorce.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>

==Treatment of Chris==

[[File:Barbara1993cropped.png|thumb|Barb c. 1993.]]
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|Age was not kind to Barb.]]

===Abuse and manipulation===
{{quote|And he told me of mom saying she was going to pack up and leave the house, then I ran downstairs, finding her on the couch; she was soo miserable and sad; she talked of Wanting to Die, "you don't even have to change my clothes, you can just bury me in what I have on." I was soo sad and crying and soo sorry for the way I misbehaved; we hugged and made up a bit.|An example of Barb's manipulation.<ref name=magfest>[[Gal Pal E-mails 3#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>}}

Barb has had a long history of abusing and/or [[Chris and manipulation|manipulating]] her children. For example, she has often used threats of suicide to guilt Chris into obeying her whims. When Bob and Chris once tried to discuss cleaning the hoard to Barb, she responded by threatening suicide.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20200810205450/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-1-12-skylanders-imaginators-leader-christine-w-chandler-random-review-n-stuff.27570/page-9 </ref>
She also threatened suicide to her family during the [[Ivy]] Saga, supposedly as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

In an episode from 2011, when Chris failed to book himself a hotel room for [[MAGfest]], due to being broke, and planned to sleep in his car,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 29]]</ref> Barb prevented him from going by pointing out the "crime risk and chilly temperatures", threatening to lock him out of their house, claiming that she would pack up and leave, and later told him she wanted to die. After Chris folded and went to his room to cry about it, she gave him a "half-payment of a copy of DC Universe Online to make up for not allowing [him] to go".<ref name=magfest></ref> Later that year, after Chris became a [[tomgirl]], Barb tried to stop him from wearing dresses and make-up by telling him she feared he would kill her. She then ordered him to sit down, and she cut his hair.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>

It also appears that Chris's diet is not a concern for Barb. The night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and has not made a meal for Chris since then.<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

In addition, Barb has used the specter of old age for her own gain, by manipulating Chris into thinking she will have a heart attack. This tactic has been used so often that Chris will panic and call 911 if Barb does not answer the phone when he calls her to check up on her when he is out of the house.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref> When Barb and Chris were both arrested for [[assault and battery]], Chris was extremely worried about her health, saying in an e-mail:

{{quotebox|My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her Blood Pressure was high.

I prayed a LOT to Jesus for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother

Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her.}}

The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] summed up Chris's relationship with Barb:

{{quoteboxgreen|Well, I don't think they talk very much. However, no, Chris is Barb's hand servant. She screams for him and he comes running. She has him change the newspaper the dogs shit on, she has him run errands to bring her stuff, and she used to have him haul her goodwill crap to the car, and then from the car into the house.

''...''

I think Barb's yelling has gotten much less frequent nowadays. It seems like she's pretty feeble nowadays. Chris is just as scared of Barb as he used to be though. I don't think he realizes how much power he has over Barb nowadays.

They're really physically affectionate in a strange way. Chris is pretty touchy feely with women because of habits he learned by spending time with Barb.<ref name=qualified>https://web.archive.org/web/20210906155444/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/is-chris-really-qualified-to-be-caring-for-barb.16435/page-4</ref>}}

After Bob died, Barb's abuse of Chris escalated. She treated him as a slave and forced him to be on-call at all times. Around [[2013]], she forced Chris to move out of his bedroom, specifically so she could bark orders at him more efficiently, by throwing a tantrum and wrecking his possessions.

{{quoteboxgreen|a few months to a year before the fire, Chris stopped being permitted to sleep separately from Barb, in his bedroom. He had to sleep closer to Barb, because she needed to be able to yell for him to go to [[sheetz]] and buy her crap, and he wasn't able to hear her up in his bedroom. He kind of tried to resist at first, but then she got super pissed and threw a tantrum. She wrecked his room and like flipped everything over because he was trying to sleep on his own.<ref name=qualified/>}}

===Financial exploitation===
{{quote|she is also being Very Annoying. “Christine, Let’s put this random good item on eBay. I REALLY Need the Money for not only my bill payments, but also, we need more food here. I am greedy too.”

“OH! You sold something of Yours? I Want $50 From That”, she is constantly pestering and bugging me. Nowadays, Nearly every time she comes downstairs to talk or chill, my Impulsive, Subconscious feeling of her presence is Cringe and “Oh, No! She’s gonna Bug Me Again of the Da** Finances Again!”|Chris<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

===Pampering===
{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his {{w|Oedipus complex}}.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

{{quote|Yes, dear.|Chris, addressing Barb<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]]</ref>}}

<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz.
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|The second page.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the manifestation of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in [[Incest|an intimate moment]].]]

While both of Chris's parents are largely responsible for his current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Senior Prom|senior prom]].

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned permanently, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she is probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it was possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch a Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''was not'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused is not that he is an absent-minded, slothful buffoon, but that he is a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she did not raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

===Spooning===
{{Dated}}
{{quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.|[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|One result of Barb's parenting choices, as explained by Chris in August 2016.]]
}}

To cap off their relationship, Chris revealed in private conversations with multiple people that Barb has spooned with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

From [[Arthur Spatchcock]], on Chris sleeping with his mother:

{{quoteboxred|Story time, kids. Now most of us are aware of the fire; how Barb and Chris were displaced for some time while the house was getting renovated. You know how Chris was all whiny about his legos, right? Some getting melted, shit like that...well he kind of left out that his own bed was ruined as well given it had years of grease soaked into it because not bathing is so chic in his eyes. So when they got back home Chris didn't have his own bed anymore so he was sharing one with Barb instead. This came with the horrifying addendum that Barb wanted to spoon with him; I don't know if he was little spoon or big spoon but I know she was unimpressed and one night just unloaded on him angrily enough that Chris decided to get his own bed with his own money. So it goes without saying that from the time Chris and Barb got back home [[DStecks|until he got that grand]] he was sleeping in the same bed as his mother.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20190423212237/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-4-11-e-begging-intensifies.19356/page-5</ref>}}

In August 2016, the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] observed Chris and Barb in public during a court hearing:<ref>[[26 December 2014]]</ref>

{{quoteboxred|Barb and Chris are way too physically intimate. It's one thing to describe their creepy relationship, it's quite another to watch it IRL. They hold hands and Chris is always putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulders sensually. That's shit I'd do to someone I'd want to bang. Not a family member. It's weird.}}

{{quote|I am not a "Bates". OMG.|Chris, in denial<ref>[[Misc texts]]</ref>}}

Barb's habit of cuddling with Chris had been going on since Bob was alive, and he knew of it, but, due to Barb's manipulation, he was not able to stop her.<ref>http://archive.is/zwWV9</ref> In [[August 2016]], Chris [[Honest content|admitted]] to having [[Chris and sex#Dreams of sex with Barb|incestuous fantasies about Barb]], prompting further analysis of their uncomfortably intimate relationship. Chris sometimes refers to her as [[Darling|"dear" or "darling"]], as he usually does for [[DoopieDoOver|would-be sweethearts]]. In his [[Twitch#CLog 04172018 - Buy My Toys|April 2018 Twitch stream]], when Chris got his mother to reluctantly say "[[Random-access humor|turn me loose, you silly goose]]" after hugging him, he commented that she "used to do that more [[Chris and English|flirtingly]]".

[[incest|If only we knew.]]

==Health problems==
===Mental===
Barb is understood by most to be a highly unstable woman, and worryingly, many of her behaviors can also be observed in Chris. Many believe her to be selfish and extremely narcissistic, on account of her baseless belief that she is [[Daniel Weston|descended from]] [[Anne Boleyn|Tudor high nobility]], and the pathological manner in which she lies and assigns blame to others, even in instances where the fault clearly lies with her. All of these traits are shared by Chris, with Barb's apparent encouragement. Additionally, many aspects of her relationship with Chris are consistent with [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112020245/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ narcissistic motherhood], which is a fascinating, but complex, a topic too lengthy to be discussed in detail here. Although Chris seems to be her [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112024302/https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/golden-child-and-scapegoat/ "golden child"], she does not shy from mistreating him if he displeases her. This can be seen in an email to [[Jackie]] from May 2011; Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and [[Death threats|threatening to kill him]].<ref name="jackie26" />

Aside from her narcissism, Barb is also infamous to Christorians for her hoarding. During Chris's youth, she would create piles of clothes as tall as her son.<ref name=younger>[[June 2021 social media posts#Chris larps as his younger self]]</ref> Chris has labelled her a "pack rat",<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> and on more than one occasion has indicated his displeasure at her hoarding and the consequent state of [[14 Branchland Court|their house]], although neither he nor Bob are known to have ever seriously challenged it. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, particularly from Goodwill, which, by [[2009]], had rendered the living room uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, ostensibly due to the conditions in the Chandler household.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> The situation did not improve after Bob's passing, either. A [[Tour of Chris's House II|second house tour video]] made by Chris in [[2013]] revealed that Barb's hoarding had gotten severe enough to render entire rooms completely inaccessible, with some rooms literally full of stuff to within inches of the ceiling, and others reduced to crevices carved into walls of junk.

Barb's hoarding was predicted by many to lead to disaster, and finally did on [[2014 house fire|10 January 2014]], when Chris accidentally started a house fire in the morning while trying to brew coffee in the bathroom, because the kitchen had been among the rooms blocked off by Barb's junk. Naturally, Barb's hoard provided ample kindling for the fire, and the house was severely damaged before the fire could be contained. In fact, given the state of the house in the second tour video, it's surprising that Chris and Barb were able to escape. Unsurprising, however, is the fact that one of the Chandlers' remaining cats died in the blaze, and one of the firefighters sent to the scene also suffered unspecified injuries.

While the Chandlers [[Rental House|relocated]], pending repairs to their home, Barb's stuff went into storage. When repairs were completed a year later, Barb had all of it moved back to 14 Branchland Court, and is not known to have disposed of any of it, even though, by all accounts, most of what she and Chris were able to salvage is either fire, smoke or water damaged, rendering it completely useless. This was confirmed in April 2017, when Chris mentioned the laundry room contained a "mountain pile" of 20-40 bags of dirty, damaged clothing that had not been washed since the fire occurred.<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Offering The Classic shirt for $12,000 minimum]]</ref>

Barb has also been long speculated to suffer from a form of dementia due to later video appearances (mostly begging videos) showing her as struggling with forming sentences without a degree of prompting by Chris. Some initially speculated that Chris and Barb were taking advantage of her feeble, elderly state for the purpose of emotionally manipulating their audience into giving them more donations out of pity, as there were other videos where Barb appeared to be more cognizant and seemed to be able to handle her own finances to some degree. It was suggested by some with close knowledge of Chris, such as [[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]], that ''she'' was the one who encouraged him to make the videos with her in it.

However, in light of the [[incest]] situation, in which Chris noted that she seemed "partially confused" on at least one of the occasions that he jumped her bones, how much of her situation was an act (presuming if any of it was) and how much is real has been called into question. Barb was evaluated at a hospital after being separated from her son and was able to return to her home after he was incarcerated. [[Fan visits#Barb Visit|A later visit by Chris's fans]], where Barb did not know that she was being recorded, may have demonstrated that she has a degree of difficulty with cognitive function, or at least that she suffers from hearing loss. Nonetheless, Barb appears to be able to live by herself and care for her pets, albeit with a harder time without the presence of Chris.

===Weight===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

Like Chris, Barbara was [[obesity|obese]] at the time of his discovery by the internet. As late as the 1990s, Barbara was reasonably slim, but she, along with Chris, ballooned out as the 2000s rolled along, to the point of resembling an American {{w|Rose West}}. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[Chris and stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

However, according to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

This has continued into her old age. When she attended Chris's [[26 December 2014|court hearings]] throughout [[2015]], Christorians in attendance invariably noted that although she has lost weight, she appears to have low muscle mass; probably due to her sedentary lifestyle. In particular, at [[26 December 2014#15 October Hearing|his last hearing]], it was noted that Barb appeared to be growing increasingly frail and possibly senile, as she did not present as very responsive, and appeared much more submissive to Chris than she has otherwise been known to be. Chris also reportedly got short with her due to her poor hearing.

In 2018, Chris decided to cash in on the Snorlax joke, claiming that his mother found it funny. He listed a plush Snorlax for sale on [[eBay]], at $200.

{{quote|Hey, Everyone! Those in the meme-know: the times when my mother used to be large and lazy, everyone called her a Snorlax. Well, Barbara likes the joke too, and can laugh it off as she is doing a lot better these days. So, one time only, she signed a Snorlax Plush, and YOU can own it; a 20% More Awesome Collectible. A personal Certificate or Letter of Authenticity will be included. Thank you.}}

<center>
<gallery>
Cashinginsnorlax.png
Snorlax1.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==="Holey buttocks"===
In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks". It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it hardly sounds pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the [[Financhu_Crisis|low finances]] and shit!!!". Consensus was that the so-called "holey buttocks" were, in fact, lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites, rather than flies, that have burrowed into her prodigious posterior. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive by parasites other than Chris, her child whines about having to take care of her.

===Dental===
In August 2014, Chris begged for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as he claimed his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment. In July 2016, Barb herself begged for money.<ref>[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]</ref> Chris and Barb restarted this begging for dental fees for Barb in early 2018.

===Aging===
{{quote|They treat, they treat you very badly in there. She, she would, she, she, she would never want me to put her into a home, and I would not do that.|Chris, August 2014<ref>[[Catie Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>}}

[[File:Barb reacts to Quinn.jpg|thumb|200px|Barb, aged 76, tissue in hand, comforting Chris after [[Jessica Quinn]] broke up with him.]]

In November 2015, [[Family Needs to appreciate Family]] was uploaded to YouTube. The video is a plea for [[Cole Smithey]], [[David Alan Chandler]] and [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]] to visit Barb before "her time runs out", even though the latter two are not Barb's progeny.

On 13 July 2016, Barb unexpectedly starred in [[Donations Further Requested, Please|one of Chris's e-begging videos]]. In the minute-long video, she speaks slowly and almost inaudibly, hardly moving or blinking for the entirety of the video. While some have voiced concerns that this may be an early sign of dementia, it is just as likely that Barb, being a manipulative narcissist, was putting on an act for money. She has since re-appeared in numerous other e-begging videos from Chris, including multiple in [[August 2018]]; her appearance is frail and quite frazzled, and her sentences are often punctuated with tons of "ums" and "uhs", along with extended pauses.

[[File:Barbovertime.gif|left]]
[[File:Our signatures00001.png |thumb|right|Barb and Chris in March 2018, the former wearing the [[$400 gold necklace]].]]
In August 2016, [[Anna McLerran]] posted a photo on Facebook of herself and Barb together.<ref>[[:File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.]]</ref> In it, Barb appears to have aged significantly since her last appearance in the "Donations Further Requested, Please" video.

In November 2016, Barb escaped injury when she slipped and fell.<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Barb slips and falls]]</ref>

Chris has been increasingly tasked with helping Barb around the house in her elderly age. He stated in April 2017 that he was taking care-giving classes.<ref>[[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04272017]]</ref> Barb is seen in [[Minor Update, Handouts!]], a begging video, in which Chris demands money because Barb drinks costly "meal replacement shakes", possibly referring to a drink such as Ensure.
{{clear}}

===Other===
In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with {{w|colitis}}, a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20201009073942/https://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied the rumor.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

On 23 August 2013, Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was, or what kind of treatment Barb received.

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Financial problems==
[[File:Barb's blankets ebay listings photos 01.jpg |Barb advertising blankets for sale in summer 2018.|thumb|250px]]

Barb lives off social security ({{w|Retirement Insurance Benefits}}) and a small pension from her old job; about $14,000 a year.<ref>https://archive.md/DLyOa</ref>

In 2016, Barb was sued by a Discover bank in Norfolk for not paying [[debt]]s. This came to light on [[March 2016|March 14]], [[2016]], when sharp-eyed [[Kiwi Farms|Kiwis]] noticed that she had a hearing on March 16. Since grave neglect of her debt was likely the cause of her being taken to court, it was widely assumed that she would ignore the summons too. Instead, once the court records were updated, many were surprised to see that not only had Barb attended, but she had represented herself, too. Equally unsurprisingly, this bold move failed to pay off, and Barb was still sentenced to pay $4,706.93.<ref>[[:File:Barb discover bank result.png]]</ref>

Five months later, Barb was sued again, this time by Capital One, for the same reason. The hearing in September resulted in a Default Judgement against Barb, meaning that she did not bother attending. She owes Capital One $15,906.99.<ref>[[:File:Barb vs Capital One Bank result.png]]</ref>

Her out-of-control debt was the catalyst for the [[Financhu Crisis]] of 2016.

In June through July of that year, Barb appeared in three videos:

*[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help]]
*[[Donations Requested, Please]]
*[[Donations Further Requested, Please]]

In the videos, she and Chris beg for donations, claiming to need money for her asthma medication and dental work (although they receive a combined amount of $2,500 per month from the government<ref>[[Chris and money#But wait, Chris isn't employed!]]</ref> and their costly hoards are clearly visible behind them). See the Appearances section for more appearances by Barb.

She has failed to take accountability for ruining the family's finances, trying to pin the blame on Chris,<ref>[[Patreon announcement]]</ref> even though her known debt of over $20,000 is much larger than Chris's.

She and Chris had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars" when he passed away, but Barb decided to frivolously spend it on [[Rob Bell]] in an attempt to gain exoneration for her [[assault and battery]] charge.

In summer 2018, she joined forces with Chris in selling stuff on [[eBay]], including items from her hoard and her autographs, which some fans bought.

==Appearances==

===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

In the 2015 revisions to [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris wrote out Bianca's character and replaced her with his mother.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [https://web.archive.org/web/20130831123750/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go to that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

[[File:Chandlers & Sonichus.jpg|200px|thumb|left]]

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Barb is photoshopped into a "family photo" alongside Chris, Bob and the various Chus.

[[File:Borb, Sonichu12.jpg|200px|thumb|In ''Sonichu'' #12.]]

In [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], Barb is in a set of pages that is a cross between Chris writing an autobiographical account of himself coming out as a tomgirl to his parents and a tribute to his late father.

Due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful than Bob, even though she was nearly 70 at the time. She is also drawn as being freakishly tall compared to Chris and Bob, despite being shorter than both in real-life, though this may just be Chris's inability to keep his characters properly-proportioned at work. Barb expresses surprise at her son's announcement on being trans. Chris states that she was "hesitant for a long while", but "got used to my subtle and more changes".

This is a drastic understatement, as the real-life Barb tried to stop his [[tomgirl]] lifestyle in ways including suicide threats, guilt trips (by claiming that she was worried Chris would kill her), paying him to stop cross-dressing, and even ordering him to submit to a haircut. If her attitude towards him cooled, it was only out of resignation rather than acceptance. Evidence of this is when she became angry with him again after finding out that he had successfully changed his name in 2016.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20210802010714/https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-6-11-cwcville-shopping-is-on-vacation.21491/page-5</ref>

[[File:Chandler family as ponies.png|200px|thumb|left|Barb, pictured at left, as ''Sugar Darling'', in a [[My Little Pony|MLP]]-inspired drawing from [[August 2017]].]]

In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as [[My Little Pony]] characters, saying they will make further appearances in [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]].

{{clear}}

===As toys===
<center><gallery>
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form.
File:BarbAmiibo.jpg|Barb [[Amiibo]], complete with cleavage, which Chris offered for sale on [[Etsy]] in [[November 2015]].
File:Barb drawing Nov. '15.jpg|Promo drawing for the Amiibo.
File:Barbara Anne Rosechu TSSSF card.png|As a [[TSSSF]] card. Note that Chris calls her a "redneck tomboy" and her power is to steal a shipping partner.
</gallery></center>

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming [[Chris's room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now".
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in several videos: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two decade-old videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas. Another video of her was recorded by a [[troll]] as she and Chris left court after his hearing in February 2015.

She has most frequently appeared during the [[Financhu Crisis]].

[[Donations Required, Serious. Please help|Two more]] [[Donations Requested, Please|videos]] were released June 2016 showing Chris begging for donations to buy asthma pills for Barbara. Barbara is shown practically dead in both of these videos so [[Chris and Death|god only knows what will happen in the near future.]]

In a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|video]] released on 13 July 2016, Barbara joins her son in shamelessly e-begging. Her voice tired and hoarse, mouth agape, she stares directly into the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

She resumed begging in a [[EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE|video]] from April 2017, in which she wears a [[$400 gold necklace]] while asking Chris's audience to give him $1,000 in exchange for his old [[Stamps|stamp album]].

She next appeared in [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017]], when she walked in while Chris was recording.

After a more uploads from Chris, Barb starred another begging video uploaded on 24 May 2017, titled [[We Said Donations No Less than $1 00, US, Please]]. Chris removed the video the next day, after people threatened to report him for elder abuse.

After the last failed attempt of getting donations, Barb and Chris engaged in yet another begging video on 16 June 2017, titled [[We need immediate funds, please]]. Ironically, she wore both the [[$400 gold necklace]] and a pearl necklace.

Almost a month had passed, without any appearances from Barb. With Chris getting decent amounts of funds from his [[Patreon]] account, there no longer seemed to be a desire to beg. On 14 July 2017, she makes a small voice-only cameo in a [[Soda Awawawawa Puccho Candy Response]], screaming at him for not closing the front door. She also comments in [[Solar Eclipse Vlogs]], asking Chris if he's ready to go back inside after the eclipse ends.

Barb's first appearance on-video in 2018 was in [[Selling Vintage Comic Books (Cole Smithey’s Comic Books)]]. She appeared a couple of weeks later in [[Our signatures]] to demonstrate that her signature, a key selling point in the comic sales, was real. On 9 April, Barb appeared for the seventh time during the Financhu Crisis to beg in [[Buy Our Things off of my eBay to help us, Please.]]

On 16 April, a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|bizarre video of a few seconds of Barb standing in a doorway]] was posted to the [[CWCki Club]]. On the 17th, she appeared as a guest on Chris's [[Twitch]] stream.

On 8 May, Barb appeared in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Two days later, Barb appeared in [[May 2018 Paid Video Requests|paid videos giving shout-outs to school shooters Nicholas Cruz and Adam Lanza]].

She watched Chris spray-paint his shoes (and his bedroom carpet) in [[Shoe Colouring]], sitting in the same room with poor ventilation.

In summer 2018, she appears in multiple videos to promote her partnership with Chris's eBay business: [[My Mother WORKED Hard, Spent Hard; Needs Money NOW.]], [[Barbara Chandler will be making out autographed photos and posters.]] and [[Barbara’s Blankets]]. She then begged for her car payment money in [[Mother needs a car payment]].

[[Barb confirms she isn't dead]] was her next appearance, a rare non-begging video.

Chris (possessed by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]) got Barb to appear on camera in [[Watching TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 3]] (12 June 2020).

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Babs1956.PNG|Barb's 8th grade (or "Pre-Freshman") photo.
Image:Babs1957.PNG|Barb's freshman photo from high school.
File:Chris's family tree up to his great great grandparents.png|Chris's family tree up to his great-great-grandparents.
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when ''[[The Simpsons]]'' went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pal]]s, at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
Image:Barb 2016.JPG|During 2016.
File:Barb and anna.jpg|With Anna, presumably in August 2016.
File:Chandlers.Png|Barb and Chris. Barb is interrupting Chris during a live [[YouTube]] stream.
File:Certificate of Authenticity with Barb's signature.jpg|Barb's signature on a Certificate of Authenticity, included with [[2018 Sales Listings|the purchase of one of Cole's comics]].
Barb autograph photo listing.jpg|Barb with autographed photo of herself
File:Chris's 37th birthday 2.jpg|Barb during Chris's 37th birthday.
File:BarbPhoto20Aug.jpg|[[August 2019]].
File:Barb 11-19-2019.jpg|Barb in [[November 2019]].
File:Barbjune2020.jpg|Barb during [[Analysis_Anarchy_Reaction_Livestreams#Watching_TF2_Analysis_Anarchy_Red_Vs_Blue_Part_3|a livestream]] in [[June 2020]]
File:Barb-Instagram-4.jpg|"And Barbara Anne Weston Chandler [[Chris and reality|still looks good for her wise age]]. [[May 2021|#happymothersday2021]]"
File:July11BarbPhoto2.jpg|Barb in [[July 2021]], showing off her new haircut [[July_2021_social_media_posts#Barbie_Chan|done by none other than Chris]]. [[Incest|Look at the fear in her eyes.]]
</gallery>
</center>

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> (dead link)

{{Love quest}}
{{People}}
{{articleofthenow}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:People Chris has had Sex with]]

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:27:52Z

DougShanz: /* Barb's Dodge Caravan */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

In November 2021 Barb got into an an accident with a tractor-trailer, wrecking yet again another variation of Son-Chu.<ref>https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/latest-letter-from-cwc-dated-november-30th-barbara-injured-in-a-automobile-accident.2011/</ref>

<center>
[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

<div>
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|UVOsqOJ1E5U}}
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{{clear}}

==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2021-12-09T02:25:35Z

DougShanz: /* Barb's Dodge Caravan */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{taxpayermoney}}
[[File:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]

'''Son-Chu''' was the name [[Chris]] gave to his car. Chris has driven several cars over the years, all bearing vanity plates reading "[[sonichu|SONICHU]]". Son-Chu's first incarnation was a [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]] that Chris drove until 2013, when he replaced it with a white [[wikipedia:Cadillac Seville|Cadillac Seville]], until it died from a cracked engine block. From [[September 2014]] to [[November 2018]], Chris drove a [[wikipedia:Ford Focus|2010 Ford Focus sedan]], until its engine died. The Chandlers subsequently shared one vehicle: [[Barb]]'s Dodge Grand Caravan, although Chris transferred the SONICHU plates onto it, thus making it the fourth and final incarnation of Son-Chu. The day after Chris was arrested on charges of [[incest]] in [[August 2021]], a [[ween]] stole the SONICHU license plates from his unattended car and bragged about it on [[4chan]]. The same night, airsoft player Chase Lopez left a note saying "Airsoft Al" was here on the vehicle, inadvertently framing a fellow airsoft player for the crime. The plates have since been replaced and the car is now Barb's alone.

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple "disconcerting" issues which are listed [[Chris and...|elsewhere]] in this very wiki, the [[Wikipedia:Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles|Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles]] has nevertheless given him full permission to drive a motor vehicle which has been used to accidentally [[CWC's_Diary#June_2005|cause]] [[28_October_2011|personal injury]]. The DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment by their Ruckersville department.

==Name backstory==
[[File:License.jpg|thumb|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a one-ton mobile weapon).]]

Since Chris is a huge fan of ''[[Transformers]]'', he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia, Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool [[Obesity|Sportin']], [[Carlos Chantor|Escortin' Car]]".<ref>{{CWCipedia link|Son-Chu|Son-Chu}}</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when [[Transformers|Decepti-Clones]] attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the [[Cwcville]] Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" remains unknown; it could be a reference to Full-Tilt<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Full-Tilt</ref> and/or Wipe-Out,<ref>transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Wipe-Out</ref> both Transformers with hyphenated names that turn into cars.

==Iterations of Son-Chu==
===Ford Escort===
[[File:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|250px|First Son-Chu.]]
A second-generation [[Wikipedia:Ford_Escort_(North_America)#Second_generation_(1991–1996)|Ford Escort LX]] (manufactured between 1991 and 1996), it was the former car of and a hand-me-down from his mother [[Barb]].<ref name="Mumble 10">[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Members of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] believed that the fact that Chris drove a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail. Chris did not save up his [[tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding he had more [[PSN|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] to spend his [[money]] on, despite the fact that sometimes a nice car can lead to getting [[china]] to [[PS3 Hump|screw]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris's mother paid for his gas.<ref name="Mumble 10"/>

[[File:Oil Change due 4-5-09.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's absurdly overdue oil change.]]

Possibly the best look we got at Son-Chu's condition was in the [[DayOut]] videos. Every time the car is stopped at a traffic light or parked somewhere, the engine rattles loudly; while a vibration at idle is a known design flaw with that year of Ford Escort, it is very possible that the motor mounts are shot (another common problem on that year of Escort), and since Chris spends all his money on [[:Category:Things bought with taxpayer money|junk]], replacing his motor mounts would put him over budget. A [[Wikipedia:Pennzoil|Pennzoil]] sticker on the windshield states that the next recommended oil change was to take place on 5 [[April 2009]], over a year before the video was recorded; we also learn the virgin-mobile had at least 260,000 miles on it.

===Cadillac Seville===
[[File:IMG_5312.JPG|thumb|250px|Chris's second Son-Chu, a Cadillac Seville, seen outside the still fire-ravaged [[14 Branchland Court]].]]

According to a [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] from February 2012, Chris no longer owned, or at least no longer drove that particular Son-Chu. Why Chris bought another car and Escort Son-Chu's fate is currently unclear. However, said Facebook status suggests that he may have bought another car to avoid detection by [[jerkop]]s. Considering how many miles the Escort had on it and how poorly Chris maintained it, there's a very high likelihood it was simply no longer functional and needed too much work to be roadworthy again. Chris likely got rid of that Son-Chu sometime before fall 2011, as according to a leaked email, Chris was driving Barb's [[Wikipedia:Ford Aerostar|Ford Aerostar]] during the infamous GaMe PLaCe incident in October of that year. The car was photographed by Google Maps in June 2011, at which time was still owned by Chris, being its last public sighting. In September 2013, it was discovered that Son-Chu's "Sonichu" vanity plates had been transferred to a white [[Wikipedia:Cadillac Seville#1992.E2.80.931997|1992-1997 Cadillac Seville]], which Chris posted several pictures of himself driving since 2012. At the same time, Son-Chu was not spotted in the yard of 14 Branchland Court, confirming that it is no longer in the Chandlers' possession. The rear bumper and trunk of the Seville had two hastily-pasted on stickers, with the first being another Christian Fish, and the second being an unreadable bumper sticker partially hidden by the closed trunk door.

In September 2014, Chris listed the Cadillac Seville on [[Craigslist]], also noting that he and his family "invested thousands of dollars in not only a new CD Player/Radio, but Multiple repairs at a Cadillac dealership. But while it did run very well for a long time, a mechanic messed up on repairing it. Now it has a cracked engine block and requires a new battery and fresh gasoline." Cracked engine blocks were actually a fairly common issue with this generation of Cadillacs due to the [[Wikipedia:Northstar engine series#Head gasket issues|Northstar V8 engine]] having major design flaws, meaning the damage was most likely not caused by Chandler neglect, nor the fault of a mechanic as Chris claims.
[[File:SevilleFinalState.jpeg|thumb|250px|The Seville before being scrapped.]]
The Chandlers did eventually sell the Seville for an unknown amount to another buyer in December of 2014. The block damage was repaired and the vehicle was driven for another 2 years and 20,000 miles before being written off in an accident, sustaining significant damage to the front right quarter. After that, it was sent to the auto auction website Copart (As pictured), eventually being sold to a scrapper in Richmond for $150 in December of 2016. The vehicle was allegedly still able to move under its own power, though the aftermarket CD player Chris purchased was missing.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/i-have-a-vin-record-of-son-chu-ii.61309/</ref>

===Ford Focus===
[[File:SonChu_at_Too_Many_Games.jpg|thumb|250px|A [[fan]] poses with Son-Chu at [[Too Many Games]], 22 [[June 2018]]. Note the extremely poor bay parking, which would be marked down as a fault on a practical driving test.]]
{{Quote|And for those of you who simply MUST KNOW: the new vehicle idea was my mother's; she wanted a new van originally, but I really liked the Focus.|Chris<ref>[[September_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>}}

On 24 September 2014, Chris had purchased a used [[Wikipedia:Ford Focus (second generation, North America)|second generation Ford Focus]] (a 2010 4-door sedan SE) implying that the Cadillac Seville may have been sold. Chris paid $9,000 for the Focus, paying over $100 a month.<ref>[[Catherine]]</ref>

This leads one to wonder how Chris was ever able to afford any new cars at all, let alone two of them; when he has now subjected to begging for donations and/or Legos on Facebook, let alone Barb's dental operation.

In July 2018, Chris recorded [[My Car is Heating Up Worse; PLEASE BUY from my eBay and HELP!]] Although [[fans]] gave him enough money to get it repaired, it merely prolonged the inevitable. In November 2018, [[The Captain]] reported that the car's engine was permanently broken:

{{quote|The day before [[Chandler Cats#Patches|Patches]] died the engine in the Focus crapped out. Something in the range of 4k to fix so he's sending it to auction hoping his fame will bring about more money than what it's worth (scrap) to pay off the rest is the loan.}}

The car only had about 110,000 miles on it or so when it was sold off. When you take Chris's history of automotive maintenance into account (in particular his year-overdue oil change for Son-Chu The First) it's more than likely that the car's engine was destroyed as a result of simple neglect.

In May 2019, the Focus was purchased by D&D Motors, a used-car dealership, where it was eventually sold to someone who would preferably treat it better.<ref>[http://archive.ph/akZTA Car listing]</ref>

===Barb's Dodge Caravan===
[[File:14 BC in 2017 2.jpg|thumb|150px|Chris's Ford Focus and Barb's Dodge Caravan in a photo from June 2017.]]

Barb owns a [[2002]] [[Wikipedia:Chrysler minivans (RS)|Dodge Grand Caravan]], which had the license plate "B WESTON".<ref>[https://findbyplate.com/US/VA/BWESTON/ Car info]</ref> She was seen behind the wheel in [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE!]]. Chris apparently borrowed the car on occasion, possibly for grocery runs.<ref>https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/1019295306637332480</ref>

Chris borrowed the car to drive to [[BronyCon]] due to Son-Chu being under repair. While on his way home from the con (held in Baltimore, Maryland), the car broke down at a [[Sheetz]] gas station in Bealeton, VA, prompting Chris to beg online for donations to cover a tow bill and record [[Waiting for the tow truck]].

[[File:Sonichu van.png|thumb|left|150px|The Dodge Caravan with Sonichu plates as seen in [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|Chris's Google Intro video.]]]]
After the death of Chris's Focus in November 2018, the van became the primary vehicle of both Chris and Barb, most likely as a result of both Barb driving less as she enters the geriatric stage and Chris opting to spend his cash on [[Lego|more]] [[List of Chris's video games|pressing]] [[McDonald's|matters]] instead of obtaining a newer, more reliable car.
[[File:Son-Chu_at_courthouse,_19_June_2019.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The back of the Dodge Caravan as of Chris's [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|June 2019 debt hearing]].]]
Chris replaced the Dodge's B WESTON plate with a Sonichu one, cementing it as the fourth iteration of Son-Chu. The car with its new plate is visible in the background of a Pokemon Go photo Chris took in [[April 2019]].

In August 2019, the day after Chris's 280-mile trip to [[BronyCon]], the car suffered a mechanical issue. Chris stated:<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns]]</ref>

{{quotebox|after starting the van, I’m whammed in the face with a sulfuric Odor. Ugh! [[Sylvana]] and I confirmed that there is now something wrong with the Air Conditioner, so we will have it checked at the local auto repair soon.}}

A sulfuric odor could indicate a broken [[Wikipedia:catalytic converter|catalytic converter]] or fuel pressure sensor; this is likely to cost hundreds of dollars to fix/replace and contribute further to the [[Financhu Crisis]].
[[File:AutoRepairPapers.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The bill for the exhaust/brake repairs.]]
The following month, Barb took the van in for maintenance on a turn signal bulb and was informed that the exhaust and brake system would need to be replaced, costing around $1,000. Chris took to Twitter to beg for the money.<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Van's in bad shape]]</ref>

On 28 March 2021, Chris damaged the van, denting its trunk door and smashing its rear windshield, by backing up into a big rig trailer. He and Barb took it to a body shop to have the trunk door replaced.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris car April 2021-1.jpg|Photos taken by a fan on 3 April 2021.
File:Chris car April 2021-2.jpg
File:Chris car April 2021-3.jpg|Plastic covering the damaged rear window.
</gallery></center>

Chris planned to drive the van to attend the August 2021 [[Everfree Northwest]] convention in Seattle, WA, which would have been a 41-hour drive crossing mountainous terrain. However, [[Null]] vetoed the plan out of safety concerns and arranged for a flight instead.<ref>[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]</ref> However, the [[incest]] reveal completely derailed these plans and the trip was cancelled. Instead, Chris took his car to a hotel in Richmond, where he parked it in a spot where he could wait out a few nights before he could return to [[14 Branchland Court|his home]]. Chris was arrested on 1 August 2021, leaving the car unattended. Sometime between then and 3 August 2021, a [[4-cent_garbage|4channer]] stole the vanity license plates off of the vehicle.

[[File:4channer_steals_plate.png|thumb|500px|4chan fucks with Chris one last time.]]

As of 29 August 2021, the Van has been confirmed returned to the Chandler Household, this time with Barb's plates put back onto it.

On 24 November 2021 Barb got into an an accident with a tractor-trailer, wrecking yet again another variation of Son-Chu.

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[[File:BarbVanLateAug2021.jpeg|thumb|250px|the Van back at 14 Branchland Court.]]
</center>

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==Handicap parking permit==
Being a [[high-functioning autistic]] [[male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents of severely autistic children who are at risk of, for example, bolting into traffic or [[26 December 2014|having meltdowns in public]]. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals.<ref>[http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp Virginia DMV]</ref> Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.

==Dashboard==
[[File:Pace car.jpeg|thumb]]

In 2017, Chris had a [[Skylanders avatar]] of himself mounted on the dashboard. The figure, designed in-game by Chris and meant to resemble his [[Tomgirl]] persona, was 3D-printed by the Skylanders company and cost him $50.

[[File:Cwchomersimpson.jpg|thumb|left|Homer, awaiting his ill gotten fate.]]
A [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] figurine used to reside on Chris's dashboard. There also appeared to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror.

Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear, but with Chris's high-functioning life, he probably fell asleep during this part of the class.
{{clear}}
==Vanity plate==
{{quote|I’ve had a few license plates stolen from my car over the years, and had to buy new ones.|Chris<ref>[[2018 Sales Listings]]</ref>}}

[[File:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers, along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).]]
[[File:VanityPlateComic.jpg|thumb|200px|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]].]]

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]", thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. '''Ever'''. This habit of having a vanity plate stems from family. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] had a vanity plate reading "UN4EVR" (apparently a statement of support for the [[Wikipedia:United Nations|United Nations]]) and "I B MR C" ("I be Mr. C", as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]])<ref>[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]</ref> and Barb has one named "B WESTON" (as in Barbara Weston).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-217#post-2382164</ref> It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Vanity_plate#North_America]]</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
The Ford Escort featured a number of ancient and faded [[Wikipedia:Bumper sticker|bumper stickers]]. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world views, and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|the old Tripod website]], what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both [[Sonic]] and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|the scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music<ref>[http://www.plan9music.com/Home]</ref> - A bumper sticker for a local [[Chris and music|record shop]] where Chris probably buys his [[Britney Spears]] CDs.
* An [[America]]n flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in [[2001]], during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "[[Autism]]. Work For A Cure." - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world.
* "[[Pedofork|Come Play With Me!]]" - One of the most disturbing things Chris has put on his car. It is an advertisement for [[The GAMe PLACe]] in [[Chris_and_writing#Exposition|Comic Sans]]. We are sure that they [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|appreciate]] his endorsement.
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

As of 25 [[October 2010]], it appeared that Chris rearranged his sticker collection, seen in [[DayOut]]. The Plan 9 Music sticker remained in the same place; however, the American flag had been removed and replaced with a [[Wikipedia:Ichthys|Jesus fish]], a common symbol for identifying oneself as a [[Chris and Religion|Christian]]. "Come Play With Me!" had been replaced with a "Save [[McIntire Park]]" sticker, likely for obvious reasons. Since this was the first time we'd seen Son-Chu for quite a while, it was impossible to determine when either of these changes were made.

[[File:Son-Chu_at_Walmart,_2_June_'17.jpeg|thumb|right|Last image of the Ford Son-Chu, showing its bumper stickers. Note that Chris is indeed parked in a [[Slow-in-the-minds|handicap]] space.]]

In 2016, an accidental field agent took the first known picture of Chris's Focus, showing that it had indeed been fitted with the "Sonichu" vanity plates, and a set of new bumper stickers. A later image from [[June 2017]], taken in a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] parking lot, shows that Chris subsequently added several more stickers, largely centered on asserting his current gender identity. Besides these, the Ford Son-Chu was notably heavy on [[Chris and brand loyalty|promotions for businesses and charities]]. From left to right, the current set of bumper stickers is:

[[File:Sonchufocus-rear.jpg|thumb|right|The virgin mobile with the stickers peeled off]]

* Atlas Comics<ref>[http://www.atlascomicbooks.com/]</ref> - A barebones text advertisement for a local comic book store which Chris presumably patronizes (he mentioned the store in the [[DayOut]] videos, but has never talked about it otherwise).
* Brown<ref>[http://www.brownautos.com/]</ref> - The logo of the Brown Auto Group, where either Chris or Barb bought the car. The sticker was almost certainly applied at the dealership, rather than by Chris.
* Pride Flag - A oval-shaped sticker of a [[Tomgirl|transgender]] pride flag.
* SPCA - Evidently, Chris is a devoted supporter of the SPCA, as seen by the sticker with the paw mark inside of the blue hand print. This is surprising as Chris is unable to take care of himself, let alone another living being.
* Pinup Girl - A red outline of a reclining [[Women's Rights|pinup girl]]
* State Farm - The logo of the State Farm insurance company, suggesting that the car was at least at some point covered by insurance.
* Girls Kick Ass - The text "GIRLS KICK ASS", with [[Rainbow|rainbow-patterned]] stripes above and below.
* HRC - The logo of the Human Rights Campaign, an [[SLGBTQ|LGBT]] political advocacy group.
* WTJU<ref>[http://www.wtju.net/]</ref> - The logo of a variety music station operated from the [[University of Virginia]], where [[Bob]] once hosted a [[WTJU Marathon|jazz marathon]].
{{clear}}

==Distracted driving==
[[File:drivingtotheextreme.png|thumb|right|Driving to the extreme!]]
Chris has openly discussed fantasizing about his [[Dimensions|dimensional]] beliefs while behind the wheel.

While driving to the 2019 [[BronyCon]], Chris, "for an hour or two," had "felt and caught vision" of [[Reldnahc]]'s army trying to invade [[14 Branchland Court]]<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 18</ref>. When a fan pointed out that Chris shouldn't have visions while driving, Chris replied<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1159596872509599745</ref>:

{{quotebox|I could not help it; I have no control when it starts up, and if I tried to stop or quench it while in progress, I would get a Major Headache.}}

After BronyCon, according to Chris, [[Magi-Chan]] had to help him drive through temporary possession<ref>[[Sonichu 14]], pg 25]]</ref>.

In addition to his fantasies, Chris also plays video games while waiting at stoplights:

{{quoteboxgreen|One thing that did slightly concern me a bit was that on the ride back to the [[BronyCon|con]] center was Chris was hatching eggs on [[Pokemon Go]] on both phones on the center console while at stoplights.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-has-arrived-at-bronycon-2019-megathread.59139/post-5140051</ref>}}

===Collisions===
Chris has wound up in several fender benders, usually of his own fault, on multiple occasions:

* On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a [[Mumble_2#Chris_Crashes_Due_To_Math|Mumble chat]] that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
* On 22 [[June 2005]], during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's [[Manajerks|manager]] towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
* About a month later, on 25 [[July 2005]], Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
* During his famous run-in with [[Michael Snyder]] on 4 [[June 2010]], Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of [[The GAMe PLACe]] in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
* During the [[28 October 2011]] incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During [[This is how the Trial went|their sentencing]], Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
* In [[September 2013]], Chris caused another fender-bender:

{{quotebox|God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}

* In [[August 2019]], Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.<ref name=aug2019car></ref>

* On 28 [[March 2021]], Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.<ref name=march21fb>[[Misc texts#March 2021 fender bender]]</ref>

{{-}}

==Other cars==
===Barb's BMW===
[[File:Facebook 9 Oct B.jpg|thumb|Barb's Beemer]]
Barb formerly owned a 1999 [[Wikipedia:BMW Z3|BMW Z3]], a 5-speed manual 1.9-litre roadster in jet black. She bought the car in [[2009]]<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> and tried to sell it in [[2014]], asking for 10 grand.<ref>[[December_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref>

===Barb's Aerostar===
[[File:Screenshot 46.png|thumb|Barb's Aerostar]]
Prior to the Grand Caravan, Barb drove a teal 1992 Ford Aerostar. It's only really notable for being Chris's vehicle of choice during the [[28 October 2011|GAMe PLACe incident.]] Other than that, it only appeared in the background of a handful of videos and photos before being replaced with the Grand Caravan sometime in 2012-2013. The fate of the van is currently unknown and it has most likely been scrapped, though this generation of Ford minivans were actually fairly reliable and it's not out of the question that the van is still on the road somewhere.

===The Mitsu===
[[File:The mitsu.png|thumb|One of very few images of the Mitsu.]] At some point one of the Chandlers, most likely Bob, purchased a silver 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage coupe. Chris apparently drove it from time to time to avoid detection from [[February_2012_Facebook_Posts#The_Wandering_Jerkop.2C_Part_4|Jerkops,]] and he commonly referred to it as the "Mitsu". Very little is known about the car and it's unclear what happened to it, though the Chandlers got rid of it sometime after Bob died. Barb apparently didn't like it as much as her van.

==In the comic==
Son-Chu appears as a minor character in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics as yet another companion for Chris, and another plagiarized element shoved into his fictional universe. He initially appears simply as Chris's mode of transport, first appearing at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], but in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] transforms into an [[Autobot]] and helps fight against the [[PVCC]] invasion of CWCville. Then, in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he appears once more to ludicrously transform into a stage for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Chris's band]] to perform "[[Revive Zordon]]" and massacre the workers at the [[4-Cent Garbage]] building. Aesthetically, Son-Chu appears to resemble two characters from ''Transformers'' canon, [[wikipedia:Hotrod (Transformers)|Hotrod]] and [[wikipedia:Jazz (Transformers)|Jazz]].

[[File:Sonchu explain 3.jpeg|thumb|left|Chris quotes the [[CWCki]]]]
Chris read this article in March 2017 and explained how he had designed Son-Chu<ref>[[March 2017 Facebook Posts]].</ref>

{{quotebox|I've read what y'all thought were the inspiration Autobots behind Son-Chu: Jazz and Hot Rod? That is funny. Actually, when originally conceived in my noggin Years ago, I was binging on Transformers Animated during the time, and the only Autobot in mind that inspired the design was T.A. Bumblebee, in reference of how to make the breast part look like the hood while still having the original car hood in vehicle mode (albeit differing color). The remainder of the design actually came from Two past color Custom Autobot pages I designed and printed before then on Transformers.com. Jazz and Hot Rod were FAR away from my mind at the time.}}

==Toy Son-Chu==
[[File:Son-chu package.jpeg|thumb]]

Chris created a Son-Chu figure in March 2017. It appeared in [[Son-Chu Review]], a ''48-minute''-long video of him playing with toys.

Son-Chu's bio reads:

{{quotebox|The city of Cwcville, VA; defended greatly, between the team of Sonichus and Rosechus, the creator, Chrstine W. Chandler, and a group of five brave Autobots, led by Son-Chu; locally known as the Samurai Pizza Bots, as they work delivering pizzas (and Son-Chu driving Miss Chandler around) while in hiding until when needed. Not only the Decepticons, but transforming robots created by the team of Count Graduon as well, attack the city to try to take it over and break up all loving relationships worldwide. When the offensives are too big for the Sonichus and Rosechus to handle, Son-Chu and his group are there to blast the villains off!}}

It is made from pieces of three different Transformers - Breakaway, Sawback and Hot Rod - and was repainted, costing him over $40 to produce<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-4-2-son-chu-figure-review.29700/page-4#post-2168849</ref>.

He offered to make two copies as a raffle prize to promote his [[stamps]] business.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:St patrick's.jpg|A drawing to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, March 2017. Chris did not explain what an Autobot has to do with an Irish-themed celebration.
File:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. "[[Honor roll]]" my ass.
File:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
File:Sonchu explain 2.jpeg|Prototype design from a Transformers.com game. Chris kept these for over ''10 years''.
File:MODNATION 1.JPG|Son-Chu in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
File:Modnation AutobotSon-Chu.jpg|Post-Beta
File:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|Transformed version.
File:SonChuComic9.jpg|Flawless.
File:SC12.png|[[2012]] ''ModNation Racers'' edition.
File:Carsonchu.png|Google Street View from [[June 2011]]. Features Barb reading comix and lots of clutter.
</gallery>
</center>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Car Pranks]]
* [[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Random-access humor

2021-12-08T21:12:43Z

DougShanz:

: '''random-access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random-access memory.
::''adj.''
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). ''See'' random-access.

[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|[[Wild Sonichu]] offers some uproarious random-access humor.]]

'''Random-access humor''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|terminology]] for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the literary device of [[Wikipedia:Non sequitur (literary device)|''non sequitur'']]. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Chris's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random, then it is automatically funny, when most of the time it's completely nonsensical and infuriatingly ''un''funny. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Like many of Chris's strange mannerisms, this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; a common symptom among autistics is echolalia, where they constantly repeat phrases from their favorite television shows, movies, and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. Chris just so happens to take this to ridiculous levels.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often [[Things Chris has ripped off|unoriginal]]. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], taking them completely out of context. He fails to understand the purpose of these jokes. For example, Monty Python's comedy was sculpted specifically to satirize British culture of their era and not simply random-for-the-sake-of-random. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or wordplays that would make [[wiki:Lewis Carroll|Lewis Carroll]] roll in his grave (his sex joke anyone?). This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a joke about [[Barack Obama|Obama]] painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

One occasion of note is a line in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], wherein [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], after being commanded to retreat, retorts with "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the stone age...". According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|comic's official videobook]], the joke is that "you really need to tell those cavemen twice," but Chris fails to realize that as the "joke" is written in the comic, there is literally ''nothing'' to interpret as funny by any standard. This isn't too surprising, since Chris has never shown interest in clarity for the audience, and simply makes the comics for his own sake.

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "[[wikipedia:Nantucket|Nantucket]]" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from that.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==
[[File:DaftPunk.jpg|thumb|right|[[Hanky-panky|Chris is up all night to get lucky.]]]]

In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]], who got it from watching too much TV.

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from ''Ed Edd n Eddy'' episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a really funky monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of ''Samurai Pizza Cats''. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "his wisdom teeth removed".</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of [[List of places that have banned Chris|here]]. What are you waiting on? [[Jerkop|I]]'m gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[HippoOnYourHead|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"]</ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they [[fangs|need a dentist]].<ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? [[Chris Loses It|Well you know what]]?"
 -"I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!"

|Chris-Chan|}}

----
</blockquote>

== Sex joke ==
Chris's sex joke is the extremely retarded story he has told whenever he wants to or is asked to tell a joke and/or prove he is "[[Excel Saga|much, much saltier]]" [[Clown doll|than people expect]]. His first known use of the "joke" on the Internet was when he put it on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in November [[2007]]. He has repeated this joke in conversations with sweethearts,<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref> in one of his ED edits,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref> and in [[Mumble]].<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref>

You may notice that, if Chris wanted to make the joke work, then Chris should have ended it after the word "egg". However, he adds 2 extra sentences to the punchline that are completely pointless and incoherent, causing the joke to lose the little humor that it had. Some versions of the joke, however, change the names of the two characters to Dick and Jane and omit the "balanced breakfast" coda.<ref>* [https://archive.org/details/cwcsexlogs1 Chris tells the joke near the end of this recording]</ref>

===''A GREAT ANECDOTE!''===
{{quote|There was this married couple, George and [[Barb]]ie, and they have been working at having children of their own. One night, George came home after work, and he was tired. Barbie welcomed him home, "Hi, Honey. Rough Day?" "Yeah," George replied, "I'm tired." Barbie said, "Well, why don't you and me go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." "Breakfast," George replied, "At Nine-Thirty in the evening?" Barbie replied, "Sure, Dear, you bring the [[semen|MILK]], and I'll get an EGG." Later, they had a boy and a girl, [[Reginald Chandler|Junior Bacon]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Orange Juice]]. All Part of a [[obesity|Balanced]] Breakfast.|Chris}}

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy Sonichu]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is explicitly stated to be the master of RAH, but has only shown it [[SonichuBabies|once]] to date.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]] - RAH at its worst.
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Mannerisms]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Random-access humor

2021-12-08T21:12:20Z

DougShanz:

: '''random-access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random-access memory.
::''adj.''
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). ''See'' random-access.

[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|[[Wild Sonichu]] offers some uproarious random-access humor.]]

'''Random-access humor''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|terminology]] for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the literary device of [[Wikipedia:Non sequitur (literary device)|''non sequitur'']]. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Chris's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random, then it is automatically funny, when most of the time it's completely nonsensical and infuriatingly ''un''funny. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Like many of Chris's strange mannerisms, this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; a common symptom among autistics is echolalia, where they constantly repeat phrases from their favorite television shows, movies, and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. Chris just so happens to take this to ridiculous levels.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often [[Things Chris has ripped off|unoriginal]]. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], taking them completely out of context. He fails to understand the purpose of these jokes. For example, Monty Python's comedy was sculpted specifically to satirize British culture of their era and not simply random-for-the-sake-of-random. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or wordplays that would make [[wiki:Lewis Carroll|Lewis Carroll]] roll in his grave (his sex joke anyone?). This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a joke about [[Barack Obama|Obama]] painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

One occasion of note is a line in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], wherein [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], after being commanded to retreat, retorts with "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the stone age...". According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|comic's official videobook]], the joke is that "you really need to tell those cavemen twice," but Chris fails to realize that as the "joke" is written in the comic, there is literally ''nothing'' to interpret as funny by any standard. This isn't too surprising, since Chris has never shown interest in clarity for the audience, and simply makes the comics for his own sake.

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "[[wikipedia:Nantucket||Nantucket]]" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from that.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==
[[File:DaftPunk.jpg|thumb|right|[[Hanky-panky|Chris is up all night to get lucky.]]]]

In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]], who got it from watching too much TV.

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from ''Ed Edd n Eddy'' episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a really funky monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of ''Samurai Pizza Cats''. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "his wisdom teeth removed".</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of [[List of places that have banned Chris|here]]. What are you waiting on? [[Jerkop|I]]'m gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[HippoOnYourHead|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"]</ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they [[fangs|need a dentist]].<ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? [[Chris Loses It|Well you know what]]?"
 -"I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!"

|Chris-Chan|}}

----
</blockquote>

== Sex joke ==
Chris's sex joke is the extremely retarded story he has told whenever he wants to or is asked to tell a joke and/or prove he is "[[Excel Saga|much, much saltier]]" [[Clown doll|than people expect]]. His first known use of the "joke" on the Internet was when he put it on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in November [[2007]]. He has repeated this joke in conversations with sweethearts,<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref> in one of his ED edits,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref> and in [[Mumble]].<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref>

You may notice that, if Chris wanted to make the joke work, then Chris should have ended it after the word "egg". However, he adds 2 extra sentences to the punchline that are completely pointless and incoherent, causing the joke to lose the little humor that it had. Some versions of the joke, however, change the names of the two characters to Dick and Jane and omit the "balanced breakfast" coda.<ref>* [https://archive.org/details/cwcsexlogs1 Chris tells the joke near the end of this recording]</ref>

===''A GREAT ANECDOTE!''===
{{quote|There was this married couple, George and [[Barb]]ie, and they have been working at having children of their own. One night, George came home after work, and he was tired. Barbie welcomed him home, "Hi, Honey. Rough Day?" "Yeah," George replied, "I'm tired." Barbie said, "Well, why don't you and me go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." "Breakfast," George replied, "At Nine-Thirty in the evening?" Barbie replied, "Sure, Dear, you bring the [[semen|MILK]], and I'll get an EGG." Later, they had a boy and a girl, [[Reginald Chandler|Junior Bacon]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Orange Juice]]. All Part of a [[obesity|Balanced]] Breakfast.|Chris}}

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy Sonichu]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is explicitly stated to be the master of RAH, but has only shown it [[SonichuBabies|once]] to date.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]] - RAH at its worst.
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Mannerisms]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Random-access humor

2021-12-08T21:11:08Z

DougShanz:

: '''random-access''' ''n.''
:: 1. ''(computing)'' type of storage access where arbitrary data can be accessed, as opposed to sequential access (q.v.). ''See also'' random-access memory.
::''adj.''
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' non-sequiturial; lacking any coherence.
: '''humor''' ''n.''
:: 1. Something funny.
:: 2. ''(CWCism)'' Something not funny, but which can be made funny when accessed randomly (q.v.). ''See'' random-access.

[[Image:Wild_Snergen_Flergen.jpg|thumb|[[Wild Sonichu]] offers some uproarious random-access humor.]]

'''Random-access humor''' is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|terminology]] for his tendency to blurt out whatever random thought enters his mind, regardless of its relevance to a given situation. More traditional literary analysts might describe this as the literary device of [[Wikipedia:Non sequitur (literary device)|''non sequitur'']]. The "humor" part of the phrase stems from Chris's assumption that if he says something completely irrelevant and random, then it is automatically funny, when most of the time it's completely nonsensical and infuriatingly ''un''funny. At this moment, the strongest portrayal of Chris's random-access humor can be found in his [[CWCFlyingElephants]] video.

Like many of Chris's strange mannerisms, this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; a common symptom among autistics is echolalia, where they constantly repeat phrases from their favorite television shows, movies, and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. Chris just so happens to take this to ridiculous levels.

Ironically enough, Chris's random-access humor is often [[Things Chris has ripped off|unoriginal]]. Jokes are mostly taken from [[Adult Swim]] shows, ''[[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'', ''[[Family Guy]]'', or even shows like [[Wikipedia:Ed, Edd 'n Eddy|''Ed, Edd n Eddy'']] and [[Wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|''Samurai Pizza Cats'']], taking them completely out of context. He fails to understand the purpose of these jokes. For example, Monty Python's comedy was sculpted specifically to satirize British culture of their era and not simply random-for-the-sake-of-random. This shows that, even when Chris doesn't have to make any sense, he still has a hard time coming up with original material. When Chris ''is'' original, it's mostly in the form of childish rhymes or wordplays that would make [[wiki:Lewis Carroll|Lewis Carroll]] roll in his grave (his sex joke anyone?). This is due to Chris being a [[Autism papers|"somewhat concrete"]] thinker, having a tough time understanding abstract concepts (including humor). Because of his linear thinking, he has the tendency to take jokes literally (e.g. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a joke about [[Barack Obama|Obama]] painting the White House black if he won the 2008 election).

One occasion of note is a line in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], wherein [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], after being commanded to retreat, retorts with "You don't have to tell me twice! But during the stone age...". According to the [[Sonichu 2 Official Videobook|comic's official videobook]], the joke is that "you really need to tell those cavemen twice," but Chris fails to realize that as the "joke" is written in the comic, there is literally ''nothing'' to interpret as funny by any standard. This isn't too surprising, since Chris has never shown interest in clarity for the audience, and simply makes the comics for his own sake.

The randomosity is also questionable in that the allegedly random jokes are also frequently repeated; Chris keeps ''re-telling'' the same jokes that weren't funny in the first try. (For example, if you are a confused foreigner who has no idea what "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nantucket||Nantucket]]" is, ''you will Google it soon.'') Chris has specifically stated he actually fears things that are beyond his control,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:DariaCamacho User talk:DariaCamacho]</ref> a fear which falls nicely in line with [[autism]].

Chris also uses the term "random-access memory", which is basically when he says something completely random without the intent of being funny. He tends to use these when a conversation is not going in a direction he wants it to and hopes that interjecting this other thought-line will briefly distract him from that.

{{quote|Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though, most of the time, I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.|Chris during the [[Father Call]], showing off his mad computer science and neuroscience skills}}

==Random ramblings==
[[File:DaftPunk.jpg|thumb|right|[[Hanky-panky|Chris is up all night to get lucky.]]]]

In November [[2007]], in a misguided attempt to help [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to get to know him better and stop trolling him, Christian added the following to his ED page:

<blockquote>
----

Each Brain in every person in the world is a computer, complete with an InfiniteGB RAM...Emphasis on Random, and our [[Christian Weston Chandler|Autistic Hero]] is no exception. Here are some of his ramblings that can make him comparable to the TV-Talking-styles of those retarded robots, the [[Transformers Generation 1|Junkeons]], who got it from watching too much TV.

{{quote| -"Carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?"<ref>Originally said by Ed; originated from ''Ed Edd n Eddy'' episode [http://www.tv.com/ed-edd-n-eddy/one-plus-one-equals-ed/episode/117706/summary.html "One Plus One Equals Ed"]</ref>
 -"[[Autism_papers#MENTAL_STATUS_EXAM:|Uncle Spunky is a really funky monkey]]."
 -"[[Yellow Is a Mellow Color]]."
 -"All aboard, here we go, let's go...somewhere else."
 -"[[CWCFlyingElephants|I once knew a man from Nantucket, and he had on his head a silly bucket.]]"
 -"I'm gonna call my lawer, his name is Tom Seywer, he has a daughter named Sue, who has been visiting her Uncle Sam for many years. Poor Tom."
 -"I knew a nose from the Pocanose, but then he ran away to Snotsvillvania."
 -"Quiet everybody, Emperor Fred has an announcement...FRED."<ref>From the US-dubbed version of ''Samurai Pizza Cats''. Emperor Fred only said his name because he had "his wisdom teeth removed".</ref>
 -"[[BILLY MAYS|Call 'Right Now']], and we'll send you a beautiful girl to be your [[Sweetheart]], FREE. But you'd better call 'Right Now', or otherwise you'll get bupkis. And believe me, you do not want bupkis. Welcome to Bupkistown."
 -"Welcome to the Novelty Shop, this is [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], how can I help you?...Okay, we can do that."
 -"Well get out of [[List of places that have banned Chris|here]]. What are you waiting on? [[Jerkop|I]]'m gonna chase you outta here."<ref>Originally said by Meatwad; originated from ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]'' episode [http://athf.frostillusions.net/transcripts/oldrippy.html "Ol' Drippy"]</ref>
 -"[[HippoOnYourHead|You've got a Hippo on your head.]]"
 -"[[Transformers]]. Robots on your head. Okay."
 -"I'm upside-down in a car, drivin' my way to the grocery store."<ref name="brak"> From [[Adult Swim|''The Brak Show'']] episode [http://members.fortunecity.com/brakshow/newbrak.html "The New Brak"]</ref>
 -"I have bow-ties on my feet, I must be walking with my neck."<ref name="brak"/>
 -"Root-de-do-de-do. Stop saying 'Root-de-do-de-do,' that's my bit, get your own. Oh, okay, how about 'Spling-ling, bling-ling, splee-de-de-le-deee?'"<ref name="brak"/>
 -"What? Pod six doesn't need a Pro Shop, they [[fangs|need a dentist]].<ref>''Sealab 2021'' episode "Legend of Baggy Pants" (Pod Six was another pod that was part of the lab. Captain Murphy referred to them as "[[JERKS|jerks]]")</ref>"
 -"Is this [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? Who threw a frisbee? [[Chris Loses It|Well you know what]]?"
 -"I Watch TOO MUCH FUCKING TELEVISION!!!"

|Chris-Chan|}}

----
</blockquote>

== Sex joke ==
Chris's sex joke is the extremely retarded story he has told whenever he wants to or is asked to tell a joke and/or prove he is "[[Excel Saga|much, much saltier]]" [[Clown doll|than people expect]]. His first known use of the "joke" on the Internet was when he put it on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page in November [[2007]]. He has repeated this joke in conversations with sweethearts,<ref>[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref> in one of his ED edits,<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref> and in [[Mumble]].<ref>[[Mumble 7]]</ref>

You may notice that, if Chris wanted to make the joke work, then Chris should have ended it after the word "egg". However, he adds 2 extra sentences to the punchline that are completely pointless and incoherent, causing the joke to lose the little humor that it had. Some versions of the joke, however, change the names of the two characters to Dick and Jane and omit the "balanced breakfast" coda.<ref>* [https://archive.org/details/cwcsexlogs1 Chris tells the joke near the end of this recording]</ref>

===''A GREAT ANECDOTE!''===
{{quote|There was this married couple, George and [[Barb]]ie, and they have been working at having children of their own. One night, George came home after work, and he was tired. Barbie welcomed him home, "Hi, Honey. Rough Day?" "Yeah," George replied, "I'm tired." Barbie said, "Well, why don't you and me go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." "Breakfast," George replied, "At Nine-Thirty in the evening?" Barbie replied, "Sure, Dear, you bring the [[semen|MILK]], and I'll get an EGG." Later, they had a boy and a girl, [[Reginald Chandler|Junior Bacon]] and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Orange Juice]]. All Part of a [[obesity|Balanced]] Breakfast.|Chris}}

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Punchy Sonichu]] - A fighting electric hedgehog Pokémon who is explicitly stated to be the master of RAH, but has only shown it [[SonichuBabies|once]] to date.
*[[Monty Python]] - Actual masters of RAH, whom Chris unsuccessfully tried to emulate.
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]] - RAH at its worst.
*[[I Got A Fish]]
*[[Bunny Hop]]
*[[Yellow is a Mellow Color]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Mannerisms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Mannerisms]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Other enablers

2021-12-07T03:09:59Z

DougShanz: /* Kenneth Englehardt */

{{Protip|Petty enablers, whether financial or fantastic, should not get more than a paragraph or two, and should be squarely focused on their relation to Chris.}}
When the [[Idea Guys]] showed everyone in late [[2017]] that Chris is still just as [[naive]] as he was a decade earlier, he inspired many bored, childish, and mentally ill copycats. Chris's [[Chris and reality|deteriorating psyche]] has made him less amenable to being reached by such traditional methods as claiming to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]; the Idea Guys had indeed caused Chris by [[March 2018]] to conclude the [[Love Quest]], blocking off this avenue outright. Instead, those who wish to prove themselves latter-day [[The Miscreants|Miscreants]] play along with Chris's more eccentric beliefs, including in [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|his own divinity]]. A few such '''[[enablers]]''', such as [[Ben Saint]] and [[Jacob Sockness]], have left their indelible marks on the ''Sonichu'' series. Most have not. This page lists such petty [[enablers]] who have got [[TRUE and HONEST]] responses from Chris on social media or in chat rooms, yet have not provoked Chris into doing anything substantial.

==Fantasy==
===Eschcal===
[[File:CWCLivestream Fan, 12 Feb. 2020.png|thumb|200px|Eschcal tipping Chris $10 during a livestream.]]
'''Eschcal''' aka '''Whyt Foxx''' is a former enabler who discovered Chris in October 2019. She initially claimed to follow Chris to be a positive influence on him. Eschcal would later come into the spotlight when she donated $10 in his [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|live reading of ''SNT Vs Sonichu'']]. However shortly after the livestream, she would claim the relationship between the two would suddenly deteriorate, resulting in her being kicked out of his Discord group and knowing the true colors of Chris. She still occasionally orbits Chris's Twitter account but has reduced her enabling.<ref>https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sr52os</ref>

===Helena Fiorenza===
[[File:Helena Fiorenza with Magi-Chan.jpg|thumb|200px|Helena with Magi-Chan.]]
'''Helena Fiorenza''' (born 1 February 1994) aka '''P1ckChu''' formerly '''PickinyFelliny''', is an Argentinian woman who photoshops images of Chris's creations to get Chris's attention. In September 2019, Helena posted photoshops of her and Magi-Chan on a date, tagging [[MagiChan111448]].<ref>https://archive.md/Q8Taw</ref> Chris followed her back and answered:

{{quoteboxpurple|The images Helena has been uploading chronicled the one day she and I shared together, and yes, I did spend the night; her bed was comfortable. Thank you for your kindness and hospitality. My wish I made is coming true, as I had foreseen. 💜⚡️ }}

<center><gallery>
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan1.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan2.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan3.png
</gallery></center>
She later implied her OC and Magi-chan were involved sexually to which Chris replied on Nov. 30th:
{{quoteboxpurple|He does like to have fun at times, so his brain is not overworked. He also does enjoy the simple things when he can.}}

Currently, she is continuing her ARG to get noticed by Chris, she also includes topics that may interest Chris such as the [[COVID-19]] pandemic and [[Trolls]] in her ARG, when she does get a response, it's mostly a braindead reply where Chris doesn't mention her and just pushes his agenda further.

<center><gallery>
File:Relax.png
File:Slutty magichan2-small.png
File:Slutty magichan-small.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan4.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan5.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan6.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan7.jpg
</gallery></center>

In March 2021, Chris made Helena's OC a prophet for his "religion". After this, Helena continued to make more comics following the surreal deity worship ceremony. Helena later drew a comic stating that Pickchu had a crush on Chris; Chris responded saying he was grateful, but he did not want to pursue a romantic relationship. A few days later, Helena drew multiple comics of her bunny OC and [[Naitsirhc]] starting a relationship. Chris did approve of the relationship, despite the 20-year age-gap between the characters.

<center><gallery>
File:March19ComicFull.jpg
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 1.png
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 2.png
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 3.png
</gallery></center>

===Kevin Fairchild===
[[File:DarkrinaiSonichu.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Chris's drawing of Kai as a Sonichu.]]

'''Kevin Fairchild''', also known as '''Kai''', is one of the players in a [[Dungeons and Dragons]] group Chris joined in [[2020]]. He has influenced Chris's fantasy beliefs.<ref>[[July 2020 Discord leaks#Kai and Chris]]</ref>

Chris named him as a beneficiary in his [[Last Will and Testament]].

{{clear}}

===Multidimensional White Knights===
{{Troll}}
[[File:BlockDM.png|350px|right|thumb|'Carrie' pleads for SonichuMerch to advocate to let her back into Chris's viewing box.]]
The '''Multidimensional White Knights''' (MWK) or '''Knights of C-197''' are a group of accounts, all associated with [[OCs|fictional characters]] from disparate children's programs, chief among them Carrie Krueger of ''[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1942683 The Amazing World of Gumball]'', originally created in [[February 2019]] and repurposed that summer in an idle attempt to mess with Chris as he was emerging from the [[Soft Exile]]. Throughout summer 2019, they would interact sporadically with Chris, getting occasional replies and likes but no [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], being overshadowed by [[Sockness]]'s distended belly. No conclusive evidence identifying the puppetmaster behind these accounts exists.

During Chris's Twitter follower purge in [[July 2019]], Krueger was blocked from viewing Chris's account along with thousands of other perceived trolls, and the Knights were forced to use alternative accounts to reach him, though they were unblocked in October due to allegedly sending him a gift. Since then, the only one of the original ten Knights which Chris acknowledged as [[TRUE and HONEST]] was Ed Bighead of ''[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106115 Rocko's Modern Life]'', conflated with the [[Chris and religion|biblical]] [https://www.gotquestions.org/Darius-in-the-Bible.html Darius] and marketed as an ally against [[Ben Saint]] when he was trying to revise his comics that [[October 2019|October]].

[[File:156806320645546305.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The first Carrie photo that Chris fell for, it shows the Mooninites allegedly assassinating an offscreen OC.]]

Imitating the [[Idea Guys]]' love of the [[Operation BARBarossa|politically incorrect]], they also convinced Chris that [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/moon-man Mac Tonight] and former South African president [https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/history/southern-african-history-biographies/pieter-willem-botha Botha] were in league with Sockness's demons. They also convinced him that Austria-Hungary reformed and it was being led by Spongebob Squarepants who had changed his name to Amadeus and that the Ottoman Empire also reformed with a random Paper Mario character serving as Sultan. This was done by sharing a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BD-ba-aXQo Local 58 video] with Chris claiming that the events of the video were the work of Sockness's demons and Chris believed it.

Most recently they got <strike>Chris</strike> [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|Sonichu]] to acknowledge that the setting for [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Loud_House The Loud House] exists in C-197 during a Twitter thread in [[October 2020]].

While the Knights keep trying to ignite conflicts about cartoon characters and random historical figures on [[Discord]] and involve Chris in them, they have got occasional lukewarm responses from Chris; they have moderately influenced his view on C-197 itself but his vision of the [[Dimensional Merge]] itself remains unaffected.

<center><gallery>
File:ArbitarchMWKleak1.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak2.jpg
File:ArbitarchMWKleak3.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak4.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak5.jpg
File:ArbitarchMWKleak6.png
File:Moonman1.png
File:Moonman2.png
File:MoonmanChris.png
File:RealMacTonight.png
File:CA24736A-3ABF-4B2B-80D4-412420678989.png
</gallery></center>

===Noah===
'''Noah''' is a YouTuber and Chris [[ween]]/fan. He is known for snatching a drawing Chris had left at the abandoned [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|DeJarnette Center]], as well as deceiving a musician to appear alongside Chris on his [[Chris Chan & Max Mandu LIVE / Leftovers Tonight|short-lived interview series]]. In [[April 2019]], he, along with his girlfriend, took Chris out for lunch at Citizen Burger Bar, located in [[Charlottesville]]. His girlfriend later described the encounter in a Reddit post.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/hvefmv/signed_sonichu_comic_book/</ref>

{{quotebox|Gotta go into the repressed memories for this one. I’m going to refer to Chris as “they/them/their” bc I honestly don’t know what they identify as anymore. Basically my ex was really into following their story and found their address, which happened to be close-ish to where we lived. He contacted them and said we’d take them to lunch, which of course they chose a not-so-cheap option and made sure he would pay for it. Then we drove my car to pick them up, being greeted by the lovely sound of [[Clover and Snoopy|hound/beagle barks]]. They came out donning rainbow [[hair]], about 12 rings, a backpack, a jean skirt, and of course the [[Medallion|infamous Sonichu necklace]]. The ride to lunch was an absolute clusterfuck. They didn’t shut up, sang along to the radio, talked about how the [[Dimensional Merge|cartoon world would soon merge with our world]], how they [[Messiah complex|could talk to the dead]], and so on. I honestly didn’t think people like that really existed. Once we got to the restaurant, they pulled out a [[Idea Book Case|duct tape wallet]] to be able to play [[Pokemon GO|Pokémon go]] on two phones at once, like any sane person. They talked about everything so loudly I was mortified. Somehow the conversation ended up with them putting the Sonichu necklace on me and asking if I could “feel the power” (all I felt was dread). There’s a photo in existence of this great moment, but unfortunately it’s on my ex’s phone and I do not plan on ever speaking to him again, especially to ask for that photo. The ride back was an absolute disaster too, basically more ranting about crazy shit. It ended with them giving us [[business card]]s and saying we should hang out again, to which I obviously never took that offer up.}}

When a fan asked if Chris had kissed her, she replied:

{{quotebox|Hahah no thank god- just a cringey hug. Might have had to do with the fact someone else was there though, and I’m about 15 years younger. Thought I’m not sure that would stop them.}}

Chris also gifted a copy of his [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] comic.

===Richard Bale===
'''Richard Bale''', known by his online handle '''Richard Righteous''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/orbiter-general-thread.75256/post-7145188</ref> is a person who designed merch and the logo for [[CWCville Shopping]]. He is the central theme of a TSSSF expansion pack Chris made titled ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder#Righteous Rising Expansion Pack|Righteous Rising]]''.

Active since 31 July 2018, Righteous keeps his face anonymous, wearing a Michael Myers facemask with makeup (blue lids, pink cheeks, and red lips) and blonde hair on it.

<center><gallery>
File:R. Righteous.jpg|Righteous is often seen wearing a Michael Myers facemask when in public and/or on social media.
File:Richard Bale.png|Bale without the mask. Note the [[stare|familiar look in his eyes]] and the [[obesity|double chin]].
</gallery></center>

===KwaiiSandbag===
'''[[KwaiiSandbag calls|KwaiiSandbag]]''' was an enabler who roleplayed as a psychic along with his friend Lily in order to convince Chris to stop LARPing as Sonichu. While his influence over Chris spanned less than two months in early 2021, KwaiiSandbag was able to put an end to the spirit possession saga.

Not long after the spirit possession ended, KwaiiSandbag would admit to his fraudulency and expressed to Chris that he only wanted to help him lead a more normal life. Chris responded by saying he had known of this all along (a statement which was very likely false), and merely wanted a couple of people to talk to (which was more likely to be true).



==Financial==
{{See also|Enablers#Financial enablers}}
{{Protip|Most financial enablers (those who ''just'' give him money) need only be cataloged in the sister article. Those here have gone beyond that: speaking with Chris and trying to influence him.}}

===Aly Hirschberg===
{{Transgender|FTM}}
{{quote|Christine is actually paying bills and stuff. The money I give her at least hasn't gone to waste, she uses my money I give for gas, electricity, car fuel, food, all the necessary essentials.|Hirschberg, February 2020,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5985046 Money goes to "necessary essentials", 7 February 2020]</ref> justifying her financial enabling as freeing Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] to spend on toys instead}}

{{quote|Has he ever thanked you, or offer gratitude in any way?|A fan's question for Hirschberg}}

{{quote|No which is why I hardly talk to her.|Hirschberg's reply, August 2020.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-7085596</ref>}}

[[File:Alan.JPG|thumb|200px|Alan Hirschberg]]

'''Aly Michelle Hirschberg''' (born 15 August 1987),<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5423984 Alan's real name and gender confirmed, 5 October 2019]</ref> also known by her [[tomgirl|transgender]] byname '''Alan Christopher''', is a mentally disturbed<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5482182 Interview with Hirschberg, 19 October 2019]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5510526 Interview with Hirschberg, 25 October 2019]</ref> [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scottish]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Jew]] living in England who emerged in mid-[[2019]] and believes herself to be Chris's best friend.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5741203 Details on Hirschberg's plans, 19 December 2019]</ref> She is one of Chris's financial benefactors, and has even claimed to be his primary donor responsible for mitigating the [[Financhu Crisis]],<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5858020 Hirschberg describes her motives, 13 January 2020]</ref> though Chris has denied this.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chandlers-sued-for-debt-megathread.55045/post-5947111 Chris repudiates Aly, 31 January 2020]</ref> She has also set up abortive fundraisers to send Chris (and, for a time, [[Jacob Sockness]]) on a world tour,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/ Meet the Creep Behind Chris Chan's Fundraisers, 16 September 2019]</ref> which Chris repurposed to support his ''[[My Little Pony]]'' obsession.<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#Fundraiser for BABSCon|Chris earmarks Hirschberg's world tour fundraiser for BABScon, 6 October 2019]]</ref>

Hirschberg and Chris have known each other since the Classic era: as early as [[2008]], they would exchange letters which contents have not yet been divulged.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5700309 External confirmation of Hirschberg's antiquity]</ref> She has also spent several thousand dollars on his [[Etsy]] and [[eBay]] offerings before these [[Chris and business|ventures]] were shut down. She is apparently truly convinced that the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[CWCville]] are [[Chris and reality|real]], and that [[Jacob Sockness]]'s sorcery is really effective. Other than as a tool to solicit funds on Twitter in [[October 2019]], she has had no substantial interactions with Chris in public.

In August 2020, Hirschberg stated that her donations have decreased to occasional gifts, mainly in the form of [[PSN]] game credits (which Chris didn't bother to use).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/page-24</ref>

===Jack Jankowski===

'''Jack Jankowski''', aka '''Jack Z''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-23#post-3284412</ref> gave Chris $1,200 in April 2018 for a luxury trip to the 2018 [[BronyCon]] in the hopes that he and his friends would get to meet him there<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-4#post-3273576</ref> and convince Chris to be interviewed on their YouTube channel.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-4#post-3273749</ref> Chris thanked him for the money in [[I have been paid to go; we’ll see if I can go (Seriously To Be Determined)]]. However, the money ended up going to the [[Idea Guys]] due to their alleged extortion.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/confession.65532/</ref>

Jack paid $100 for a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|video (which Chris decided to bookend with unrelated begging announcements)]].

Jack also tried to use the lore from ''{{w|Jojo's Bizarre Adventure}}'' to influence Chris, claiming that series antagonist {{w|Dio Brando}} was trolling him. However, Chris consulted the Idea Guys, who told him that Jack was a troll.<ref>[[Cryzel Torture]]</ref>

Jack also stated that he'd been involved with the [[Prank calls#Liquid Bob calls Bob|Liquid Bob]] call several years prior.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/post-3274429</ref>

===Kenneth Englehardt===
[[Image:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|thumb|200px|Kenneth Englehardt]]

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''' (born 2 March 1960), affectionately nicknamed '''Kengle''' by Christorians, is a ''Sonichu'' fan and one of [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]] [[white knights]] during the mid-2010s, as well as the admin and founder of Onion Farms, a splinter forum based on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris's [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

He has made many responses to Chris's posts, which Chris sometimes finds to be annoying. In [[May 2018]], Chris listed a spare [[2018_Sales_Listings#Extra_Sonichu_license_plate|license plate]] on eBay. Since license plates may be considered DMV property, Kengle asked Chris if he got permission to sell it from the DMV, which prompted Chris to ask him to stop, to which Kengle agreed. Two days later, somebody suggested to Chris that his donations dropping could be Patreon taking a 50% cut, which Kengle said was outrageous. This prompted Chris to call Kengle outrageous and tell him not to comment on his posts anymore or Chris would unfriend him, but he told Kengle that he is still allowed to [[Negotiation|donate to his Patreon]] if he chooses. Kengle, having finally had enough, told Chris that friendships don't work like that and said goodbye, suggesting that he was done with Chris.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Kenneth_Englehardt_BTFO]]</ref>

Not too long after, Kengle replied to Chris's tweet begging for money:

{{quoteboxgreen|Have you considered a project manager? They can help with work layout, publicity, the bottom line and so forth.}}

Chris replied with:

{{quotebox|If I had even remotely Knew of such a Manager YEARS ago, I seriously would have done that sooner. Eeyup.}}

In 2021, Chris would address [[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021|a letter to him]] from jail, implying that Kengle was still in good standing with Chris. In it, Chris begs for donations to be made toward 14 Branchland Court, and to contact the President of the United States to pardon Chris.

Several other of Chris's letters from jail were posted to the Onion Farms forum Kengle runs.

===Miss Cherry===
{{Transgender|MTF}}
[[File:Danielle Stone.png|thumb|200px|Miss Cherry]]

'''Miss Cherry''', birth name '''Daniel Stone''',<ref>According to [[The Captain]], [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/post-3586570 here]</ref> is an Australian [[transgender]] who spent <abbr title="Australian: equivalent ~$1000 US.">AU$1500</abbr> of his mother's money in a failed bid at becoming Chris's first [[Love Quest|sweetheart]] in the [[Idea Guys]]' wake. On 20 [[July 2018]], he pledged $589 to Chris's [[Patreon]], as a means of getting Chris's attention by being the first to hit his monthly goal and referring to himself as his number one fan and his newest sweetheart.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/</ref> However, Chris simply took the money and disputed his claim of being in a relationship with him, partially doxxing him as well:

{{quote|Oh. you're a good patron, I appreciate your support, but [[DoopieDoOver|You and I are NOT Lovers]], Cherry Stone.}}

In response, Stone doubled down by increasing the pledge amount to $1,000.<ref>https://archive.fo/mqzyT</ref> On 23 July, Chris posted to Twitter about the good fortune of getting the money, as he needed it to fund his car repairs as his Plan A for getting to [[BronyCon]]. In doing so, he doxxed Stone fully.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1021436370768867329</ref> That Chris appeared annoyed at Miss Cherry claiming to be in a relationship with him is interesting, considering that [[Chris and hypocrisy|he has done the same thing]] to [[Megan Schroeder|many]] [[The Wallflower|women]] in the past. Stone discontinued his pledge on the next day;<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/page-13#post-3594892</ref> however, as Chris had set his Patreon to upfront charging,<ref>[[September 2017 Patreon posts]]</ref> the money remained with Chris. Miss Cherry faded into obscurity, broke and broken-hearted.

===James Lewis Martin===
[[File:William Robinson.jpg|thumb|200px|One of Martin's pictures that he had volunteered on [[Kiwi Farms]].]]

{{quote|Giving Christine money for food, petrol, gas, electricity isn't enabling.|Martin, defending his enabling.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6258328</ref>}}

'''James Lewis Martin''' (11 May 1985 – 1 June 2020),<ref>https://www.obituare.com/james-martin-obituary-77884/#obituary</ref> also known as '''William Robinson''' or '''CPU Byzantium Heart''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/</ref> was an [[autism|autistic]], emotionally perturbed <s>[[China|Chinese]]</s> Polish Englishman, <abbr title="One who exposes himself freely on Kiwi Farms.">''halal'' lolcow</abbr> and Hirschberg's friend, also giving Chris money and affirmation over his fantasy world by pretending to be a fellow [[CPU]] god.<ref>https://twitter.com/ByzantiumHeart/with_replies Archive: http://archive.fo/9qq4P</ref> Robinson believed that he should give Chris his mother's money to keep him from going homeless and to fund his other expenses,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-james-lewis-martin-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/post-6306934 Martin's funds come from his mother, 17 April 2020]</ref> ignoring the fact that Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] already covers these and that Chris spends any donations on frivolities such as printing up [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|TSSSF]] cards and buying [[magic stones]]. Martin also tried to send his aunt, a social worker, to Chris's house to give him even more help,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6250681</ref> but Chris refused to answer the door, thinking the social worker was there to have him committed to a mental institution.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6252776</ref> His parents discovered him online (against [[Bob Walks In|family restrictions]]) after a failed [[white knight]]ing crusade on [[Kiwi Farms]] and bungled [[Chris and death|suicide attempt]], and revoked his Internet privileges. In [[June 2020]], Martin committed suicide following a bout of depression.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-james-lewis-martin-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/post-6743199</ref>

===Sarah and Steven===
[[File:Sarahchu.jpg|thumb|Sarahchu]]
{{quote|Remember, if you are ever in trouble or need help (before we're able to move) just message us first! I'm afraid other people could not be very trusted.|Part of a message Sarah and Steve wrote to Chris.}}
[[File:SnSoverit.png|thumb|150px|left|Let this be a lesson to all would-be enablers.]]

'''Sarah and Steven''' were a pair of half-hearted enablers, working jointly, who first appeared in [[February 2019]] when they discussed a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] with Chris, as well as the possibility of meeting him in person, on Twitter.<ref>[[:File:Sarah and Steve ask permission to make medallion.jpg|Sarah and Steven's first appearance, 27 February 2019]]</ref> They had bought a [[Nintendo Switch]] for Chris and supported him on Patreon, yet their attempts to keep themselves anonymous and out of public view were derailed by Chris himself when he [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)|filmed himself with the new console and revealed their secret plans]] to move to [[Virginia]] and isolate Chris from other contacts to make him dependent upon them. After this, they disappeared for a month, setting a trend that would mark a pattern in all future cycles of interactions with Chris.

In [[May 2019]], Sarah and Steven returned, professing themselves as believers in Chris's [[Chris and his ego|personality cult]],<ref>http://archive.fo/rc9aN</ref> and again sought to malign him against the [[Guard Dogs]] by presenting themselves as exclusively trustworthy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File_talk:Sarah_and_Steve_DM_messages_1.png</ref> After several of their private discussions were leaked onto [[Kiwi Farms]],<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1060#post-4782445</ref> they abandoned course again and lamented that they were swindled out of the money they had freely given Chris in their bid for influence over him; their relationship with Chris further deteriorated,<ref>[[:File:SNSjuly23rd2.png]][[:File:SNSjuly23rd3.png]]</ref> and he finally cast them aside on 25 [[July 2019]], when they raised the question of what would happen should they dare question any of Chris's teachings or beliefs.<ref>[[:File:SNSunfollowed.png]]</ref> Further attempts to reach Chris by endorsing [[Jacob Sockness]], in both [[August 2019|August]] and [[October 2019]],<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1149#post-5140617 Random Chris updates, page 1149]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/ Thread on Sockness's attempts to isolate Chris, 3 November 2019]</ref> have to date all ended in failure.

In [[March 2021]], Chris revealed their OC, called Sarahchu, born from a Lopunny Pokémon and a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]; she is a part-poison type.

===William Waterman===
{{quote|Do you Ever Stop?|[[Chris]], annoyed at Waterman constantly posting comments on his Facebook updates}}

[[Image:William_Elliott_Waterman.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Waterman, a.k.a. VikingBoyBilly]]

'''William Elliott Waterman''' (born 1 March 1986) was a [[Facebook]] friend of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] during the mid 2010s, known for making many comments of support, occasional advice, and off-topic remarks on Chris's posts, and for being repeatedly unfriended. He has also purchased artwork from Chris, including [[Sonichu 0|the first issue of ''Sonichu'']] and has been a supporter on [[Patreon]].

Chris and Waterman apparently met online, through Waterman's cousin and one of Chris's most well-known enablers, [[Anna McLerran]]. They never met in person, and Chris initiated the friend request after correspondence with Waterman,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref> despite him being [[JERKS|male]] and having [[Asperger syndrome]]. Waterman's first activity on Chris's Facebook timeline is from May [[2013]].<ref>[[May_2013_Facebook_Posts#This_cold_is_really_weighing_me_down]]</ref>

In [[November 2015]], Waterman tried to claim that Chris was under his control and would not make any more statuses or videos until the administration of [[Kiwi Farms]] gave into demands he made. Chris, refusing to be part of Waterman's schemes, posted on Facebook that he had control over his own life,<ref>[[November_2015_Facebook_Posts#I_Control_My_Life|Facebook post]]</ref> and then promptly unfriended Waterman. By [[June 2016]], Waterman had wormed his way back into being re-added. Later that month, at Waterman's request, Chris began reading [[:Category:Rainbows, Unicorns, and a Bluebird of Happiness|Rainbows, Unicorns, and a Bluebird of Happiness]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-reads-unicorns-rainbows-and-a-bluebird-of-happiness.21663/page-9#post-1534383</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-reads-unicorns-rainbows-and-a-bluebird-of-happiness.21663/page-24#post-1563368</ref> Shortly after Chris had read chapter four of that fanfic, he unfriended Waterman again.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-9-yt-announcement_20160709.22293/page-7#post-1586578</ref> In [[Announcement 20160709]], Chris revealed that he was angry at "Mr. Bill" for suggesting that he read the story, which Chris found to be nonsensical. Three weeks later, Chris re-added him to his friend list again.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-7-28-tranny-status-updates.22924/page-3#post-1633317</ref> Days after he reappeared on Chris's Facebook comments section, Chris began a new series of fanfic-reading videos called [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"]].

Waterman paid Chris to insert his [[OC]] [[Bananasauros]] into [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where the character moves in with [[Punchy Sonichu]] and has sex with an opposite-gender clone. Chris apparently found Bananasauros so asinine he couldn't resist inserting his own criticisms into the comic. Despite being personally insulted by Chris in the very set of pages he had paid for, as well as on Patreon's comments section,<ref>[[July_2017_Patreon_posts#Ripping_off_MLP]]</ref> Waterman continued to be a loyal supporter, donating monthly to Chris for some time, though eventually ending his pledge.

With the revelation of Chris engaging in [[incest]] with his mother, Waterman declared on the former’s Facebook page that he was done with Chris.

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
{{People}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Other enablers

2021-12-07T03:09:17Z

DougShanz: /* Kenneth Englehardt */

{{Protip|Petty enablers, whether financial or fantastic, should not get more than a paragraph or two, and should be squarely focused on their relation to Chris.}}
When the [[Idea Guys]] showed everyone in late [[2017]] that Chris is still just as [[naive]] as he was a decade earlier, he inspired many bored, childish, and mentally ill copycats. Chris's [[Chris and reality|deteriorating psyche]] has made him less amenable to being reached by such traditional methods as claiming to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]]; the Idea Guys had indeed caused Chris by [[March 2018]] to conclude the [[Love Quest]], blocking off this avenue outright. Instead, those who wish to prove themselves latter-day [[The Miscreants|Miscreants]] play along with Chris's more eccentric beliefs, including in [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|his own divinity]]. A few such '''[[enablers]]''', such as [[Ben Saint]] and [[Jacob Sockness]], have left their indelible marks on the ''Sonichu'' series. Most have not. This page lists such petty [[enablers]] who have got [[TRUE and HONEST]] responses from Chris on social media or in chat rooms, yet have not provoked Chris into doing anything substantial.

==Fantasy==
===Eschcal===
[[File:CWCLivestream Fan, 12 Feb. 2020.png|thumb|200px|Eschcal tipping Chris $10 during a livestream.]]
'''Eschcal''' aka '''Whyt Foxx''' is a former enabler who discovered Chris in October 2019. She initially claimed to follow Chris to be a positive influence on him. Eschcal would later come into the spotlight when she donated $10 in his [[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2|live reading of ''SNT Vs Sonichu'']]. However shortly after the livestream, she would claim the relationship between the two would suddenly deteriorate, resulting in her being kicked out of his Discord group and knowing the true colors of Chris. She still occasionally orbits Chris's Twitter account but has reduced her enabling.<ref>https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sr52os</ref>

===Helena Fiorenza===
[[File:Helena Fiorenza with Magi-Chan.jpg|thumb|200px|Helena with Magi-Chan.]]
'''Helena Fiorenza''' (born 1 February 1994) aka '''P1ckChu''' formerly '''PickinyFelliny''', is an Argentinian woman who photoshops images of Chris's creations to get Chris's attention. In September 2019, Helena posted photoshops of her and Magi-Chan on a date, tagging [[MagiChan111448]].<ref>https://archive.md/Q8Taw</ref> Chris followed her back and answered:

{{quoteboxpurple|The images Helena has been uploading chronicled the one day she and I shared together, and yes, I did spend the night; her bed was comfortable. Thank you for your kindness and hospitality. My wish I made is coming true, as I had foreseen. 💜⚡️ }}

<center><gallery>
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan1.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan2.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan3.png
</gallery></center>
She later implied her OC and Magi-chan were involved sexually to which Chris replied on Nov. 30th:
{{quoteboxpurple|He does like to have fun at times, so his brain is not overworked. He also does enjoy the simple things when he can.}}

Currently, she is continuing her ARG to get noticed by Chris, she also includes topics that may interest Chris such as the [[COVID-19]] pandemic and [[Trolls]] in her ARG, when she does get a response, it's mostly a braindead reply where Chris doesn't mention her and just pushes his agenda further.

<center><gallery>
File:Relax.png
File:Slutty magichan2-small.png
File:Slutty magichan-small.png
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan4.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan5.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan6.jpg
File:Helena Fiorenza and Magi-Chan7.jpg
</gallery></center>

In March 2021, Chris made Helena's OC a prophet for his "religion". After this, Helena continued to make more comics following the surreal deity worship ceremony. Helena later drew a comic stating that Pickchu had a crush on Chris; Chris responded saying he was grateful, but he did not want to pursue a romantic relationship. A few days later, Helena drew multiple comics of her bunny OC and [[Naitsirhc]] starting a relationship. Chris did approve of the relationship, despite the 20-year age-gap between the characters.

<center><gallery>
File:March19ComicFull.jpg
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 1.png
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 2.png
File:Chris tweet about Pickchu 3.png
</gallery></center>

===Kevin Fairchild===
[[File:DarkrinaiSonichu.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Chris's drawing of Kai as a Sonichu.]]

'''Kevin Fairchild''', also known as '''Kai''', is one of the players in a [[Dungeons and Dragons]] group Chris joined in [[2020]]. He has influenced Chris's fantasy beliefs.<ref>[[July 2020 Discord leaks#Kai and Chris]]</ref>

Chris named him as a beneficiary in his [[Last Will and Testament]].

{{clear}}

===Multidimensional White Knights===
{{Troll}}
[[File:BlockDM.png|350px|right|thumb|'Carrie' pleads for SonichuMerch to advocate to let her back into Chris's viewing box.]]
The '''Multidimensional White Knights''' (MWK) or '''Knights of C-197''' are a group of accounts, all associated with [[OCs|fictional characters]] from disparate children's programs, chief among them Carrie Krueger of ''[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1942683 The Amazing World of Gumball]'', originally created in [[February 2019]] and repurposed that summer in an idle attempt to mess with Chris as he was emerging from the [[Soft Exile]]. Throughout summer 2019, they would interact sporadically with Chris, getting occasional replies and likes but no [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], being overshadowed by [[Sockness]]'s distended belly. No conclusive evidence identifying the puppetmaster behind these accounts exists.

During Chris's Twitter follower purge in [[July 2019]], Krueger was blocked from viewing Chris's account along with thousands of other perceived trolls, and the Knights were forced to use alternative accounts to reach him, though they were unblocked in October due to allegedly sending him a gift. Since then, the only one of the original ten Knights which Chris acknowledged as [[TRUE and HONEST]] was Ed Bighead of ''[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106115 Rocko's Modern Life]'', conflated with the [[Chris and religion|biblical]] [https://www.gotquestions.org/Darius-in-the-Bible.html Darius] and marketed as an ally against [[Ben Saint]] when he was trying to revise his comics that [[October 2019|October]].

[[File:156806320645546305.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The first Carrie photo that Chris fell for, it shows the Mooninites allegedly assassinating an offscreen OC.]]

Imitating the [[Idea Guys]]' love of the [[Operation BARBarossa|politically incorrect]], they also convinced Chris that [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/moon-man Mac Tonight] and former South African president [https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/history/southern-african-history-biographies/pieter-willem-botha Botha] were in league with Sockness's demons. They also convinced him that Austria-Hungary reformed and it was being led by Spongebob Squarepants who had changed his name to Amadeus and that the Ottoman Empire also reformed with a random Paper Mario character serving as Sultan. This was done by sharing a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BD-ba-aXQo Local 58 video] with Chris claiming that the events of the video were the work of Sockness's demons and Chris believed it.

Most recently they got <strike>Chris</strike> [[Spirit possession#Sonichu|Sonichu]] to acknowledge that the setting for [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Loud_House The Loud House] exists in C-197 during a Twitter thread in [[October 2020]].

While the Knights keep trying to ignite conflicts about cartoon characters and random historical figures on [[Discord]] and involve Chris in them, they have got occasional lukewarm responses from Chris; they have moderately influenced his view on C-197 itself but his vision of the [[Dimensional Merge]] itself remains unaffected.

<center><gallery>
File:ArbitarchMWKleak1.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak2.jpg
File:ArbitarchMWKleak3.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak4.png
File:ArbitarchMWKleak5.jpg
File:ArbitarchMWKleak6.png
File:Moonman1.png
File:Moonman2.png
File:MoonmanChris.png
File:RealMacTonight.png
File:CA24736A-3ABF-4B2B-80D4-412420678989.png
</gallery></center>

===Noah===
'''Noah''' is a YouTuber and Chris [[ween]]/fan. He is known for snatching a drawing Chris had left at the abandoned [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|DeJarnette Center]], as well as deceiving a musician to appear alongside Chris on his [[Chris Chan & Max Mandu LIVE / Leftovers Tonight|short-lived interview series]]. In [[April 2019]], he, along with his girlfriend, took Chris out for lunch at Citizen Burger Bar, located in [[Charlottesville]]. His girlfriend later described the encounter in a Reddit post.<ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/hvefmv/signed_sonichu_comic_book/</ref>

{{quotebox|Gotta go into the repressed memories for this one. I’m going to refer to Chris as “they/them/their” bc I honestly don’t know what they identify as anymore. Basically my ex was really into following their story and found their address, which happened to be close-ish to where we lived. He contacted them and said we’d take them to lunch, which of course they chose a not-so-cheap option and made sure he would pay for it. Then we drove my car to pick them up, being greeted by the lovely sound of [[Clover and Snoopy|hound/beagle barks]]. They came out donning rainbow [[hair]], about 12 rings, a backpack, a jean skirt, and of course the [[Medallion|infamous Sonichu necklace]]. The ride to lunch was an absolute clusterfuck. They didn’t shut up, sang along to the radio, talked about how the [[Dimensional Merge|cartoon world would soon merge with our world]], how they [[Messiah complex|could talk to the dead]], and so on. I honestly didn’t think people like that really existed. Once we got to the restaurant, they pulled out a [[Idea Book Case|duct tape wallet]] to be able to play [[Pokemon GO|Pokémon go]] on two phones at once, like any sane person. They talked about everything so loudly I was mortified. Somehow the conversation ended up with them putting the Sonichu necklace on me and asking if I could “feel the power” (all I felt was dread). There’s a photo in existence of this great moment, but unfortunately it’s on my ex’s phone and I do not plan on ever speaking to him again, especially to ask for that photo. The ride back was an absolute disaster too, basically more ranting about crazy shit. It ended with them giving us [[business card]]s and saying we should hang out again, to which I obviously never took that offer up.}}

When a fan asked if Chris had kissed her, she replied:

{{quotebox|Hahah no thank god- just a cringey hug. Might have had to do with the fact someone else was there though, and I’m about 15 years younger. Thought I’m not sure that would stop them.}}

Chris also gifted a copy of his [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] comic.

===Richard Bale===
'''Richard Bale''', known by his online handle '''Richard Righteous''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/orbiter-general-thread.75256/post-7145188</ref> is a person who designed merch and the logo for [[CWCville Shopping]]. He is the central theme of a TSSSF expansion pack Chris made titled ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder#Righteous Rising Expansion Pack|Righteous Rising]]''.

Active since 31 July 2018, Righteous keeps his face anonymous, wearing a Michael Myers facemask with makeup (blue lids, pink cheeks, and red lips) and blonde hair on it.

<center><gallery>
File:R. Righteous.jpg|Righteous is often seen wearing a Michael Myers facemask when in public and/or on social media.
File:Richard Bale.png|Bale without the mask. Note the [[stare|familiar look in his eyes]] and the [[obesity|double chin]].
</gallery></center>

===KwaiiSandbag===
'''[[KwaiiSandbag calls|KwaiiSandbag]]''' was an enabler who roleplayed as a psychic along with his friend Lily in order to convince Chris to stop LARPing as Sonichu. While his influence over Chris spanned less than two months in early 2021, KwaiiSandbag was able to put an end to the spirit possession saga.

Not long after the spirit possession ended, KwaiiSandbag would admit to his fraudulency and expressed to Chris that he only wanted to help him lead a more normal life. Chris responded by saying he had known of this all along (a statement which was very likely false), and merely wanted a couple of people to talk to (which was more likely to be true).



==Financial==
{{See also|Enablers#Financial enablers}}
{{Protip|Most financial enablers (those who ''just'' give him money) need only be cataloged in the sister article. Those here have gone beyond that: speaking with Chris and trying to influence him.}}

===Aly Hirschberg===
{{Transgender|FTM}}
{{quote|Christine is actually paying bills and stuff. The money I give her at least hasn't gone to waste, she uses my money I give for gas, electricity, car fuel, food, all the necessary essentials.|Hirschberg, February 2020,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5985046 Money goes to "necessary essentials", 7 February 2020]</ref> justifying her financial enabling as freeing Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] to spend on toys instead}}

{{quote|Has he ever thanked you, or offer gratitude in any way?|A fan's question for Hirschberg}}

{{quote|No which is why I hardly talk to her.|Hirschberg's reply, August 2020.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-7085596</ref>}}

[[File:Alan.JPG|thumb|200px|Alan Hirschberg]]

'''Aly Michelle Hirschberg''' (born 15 August 1987),<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5423984 Alan's real name and gender confirmed, 5 October 2019]</ref> also known by her [[tomgirl|transgender]] byname '''Alan Christopher''', is a mentally disturbed<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5482182 Interview with Hirschberg, 19 October 2019]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5510526 Interview with Hirschberg, 25 October 2019]</ref> [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scottish]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Jew]] living in England who emerged in mid-[[2019]] and believes herself to be Chris's best friend.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5741203 Details on Hirschberg's plans, 19 December 2019]</ref> She is one of Chris's financial benefactors, and has even claimed to be his primary donor responsible for mitigating the [[Financhu Crisis]],<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5858020 Hirschberg describes her motives, 13 January 2020]</ref> though Chris has denied this.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chandlers-sued-for-debt-megathread.55045/post-5947111 Chris repudiates Aly, 31 January 2020]</ref> She has also set up abortive fundraisers to send Chris (and, for a time, [[Jacob Sockness]]) on a world tour,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/ Meet the Creep Behind Chris Chan's Fundraisers, 16 September 2019]</ref> which Chris repurposed to support his ''[[My Little Pony]]'' obsession.<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#Fundraiser for BABSCon|Chris earmarks Hirschberg's world tour fundraiser for BABScon, 6 October 2019]]</ref>

Hirschberg and Chris have known each other since the Classic era: as early as [[2008]], they would exchange letters which contents have not yet been divulged.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/meet-the-creep-behind-chris-chans-fundraisers.60596/post-5700309 External confirmation of Hirschberg's antiquity]</ref> She has also spent several thousand dollars on his [[Etsy]] and [[eBay]] offerings before these [[Chris and business|ventures]] were shut down. She is apparently truly convinced that the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[CWCville]] are [[Chris and reality|real]], and that [[Jacob Sockness]]'s sorcery is really effective. Other than as a tool to solicit funds on Twitter in [[October 2019]], she has had no substantial interactions with Chris in public.

In August 2020, Hirschberg stated that her donations have decreased to occasional gifts, mainly in the form of [[PSN]] game credits (which Chris didn't bother to use).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/page-24</ref>

===Jack Jankowski===

'''Jack Jankowski''', aka '''Jack Z''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-23#post-3284412</ref> gave Chris $1,200 in April 2018 for a luxury trip to the 2018 [[BronyCon]] in the hopes that he and his friends would get to meet him there<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-4#post-3273576</ref> and convince Chris to be interviewed on their YouTube channel.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/page-4#post-3273749</ref> Chris thanked him for the money in [[I have been paid to go; we’ll see if I can go (Seriously To Be Determined)]]. However, the money ended up going to the [[Idea Guys]] due to their alleged extortion.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/confession.65532/</ref>

Jack paid $100 for a [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|video (which Chris decided to bookend with unrelated begging announcements)]].

Jack also tried to use the lore from ''{{w|Jojo's Bizarre Adventure}}'' to influence Chris, claiming that series antagonist {{w|Dio Brando}} was trolling him. However, Chris consulted the Idea Guys, who told him that Jack was a troll.<ref>[[Cryzel Torture]]</ref>

Jack also stated that he'd been involved with the [[Prank calls#Liquid Bob calls Bob|Liquid Bob]] call several years prior.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-z-jack-jankowski-gave-chris-1-200-for-bronycon-wants-to-hang-out-with-him-there.42041/post-3274429</ref>

===Kenneth Englehardt===
[[Image:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|thumb|200px|Kenneth Englehardt]]

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''' (born 2 March 1960), affectionately nicknamed '''Kengle''' by Christorians, is a ''Sonichu'' fan and one of [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]] [[white knights]] during the mid-2010s, as well as the admin and founder of Onion Farms, a splinter forum based on the [[Kiwi Farms]]. He has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris's [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]].

He has made many responses to Chris's posts, which Chris sometimes finds to be annoying. In [[May 2018]], Chris listed a spare [[2018_Sales_Listings#Extra_Sonichu_license_plate|license plate]] on eBay. Since license plates may be considered DMV property, Kengle asked Chris if he got permission to sell it from the DMV, which prompted Chris to ask him to stop, to which Kengle agreed. Two days later, somebody suggested to Chris that his donations dropping could be Patreon taking a 50% cut, which Kengle said was outrageous. This prompted Chris to call Kengle outrageous and tell him not to comment on his posts anymore or Chris would unfriend him, but he told Kengle that he is still allowed to [[Negotiation|donate to his Patreon]] if he chooses. Kengle, having finally had enough, told Chris that friendships don't work like that and said goodbye, suggesting that he was done with Chris.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Kenneth_Englehardt_BTFO]]</ref>

Not too long after, Kengle replied to Chris's tweet begging for money:

{{quoteboxgreen|Have you considered a project manager? They can help with work layout, publicity, the bottom line and so forth.}}

Chris replied with:

{{quotebox|If I had even remotely Knew of such a Manager YEARS ago, I seriously would have done that sooner. Eeyup.}}

In 2021, Chris would address [[Letter_-_4_October_2021|a letter to him]] from jail, implying that Kengle was still in good standing with Chris. In it, Chris begs for donations to be made toward 14 Branchland Court, and to contact the President of the United States to pardon Chris.

Several other of Chris's letters from jail were posted to the Onion Farms forum Kengle runs.

===Miss Cherry===
{{Transgender|MTF}}
[[File:Danielle Stone.png|thumb|200px|Miss Cherry]]

'''Miss Cherry''', birth name '''Daniel Stone''',<ref>According to [[The Captain]], [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/post-3586570 here]</ref> is an Australian [[transgender]] who spent <abbr title="Australian: equivalent ~$1000 US.">AU$1500</abbr> of his mother's money in a failed bid at becoming Chris's first [[Love Quest|sweetheart]] in the [[Idea Guys]]' wake. On 20 [[July 2018]], he pledged $589 to Chris's [[Patreon]], as a means of getting Chris's attention by being the first to hit his monthly goal and referring to himself as his number one fan and his newest sweetheart.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/</ref> However, Chris simply took the money and disputed his claim of being in a relationship with him, partially doxxing him as well:

{{quote|Oh. you're a good patron, I appreciate your support, but [[DoopieDoOver|You and I are NOT Lovers]], Cherry Stone.}}

In response, Stone doubled down by increasing the pledge amount to $1,000.<ref>https://archive.fo/mqzyT</ref> On 23 July, Chris posted to Twitter about the good fortune of getting the money, as he needed it to fund his car repairs as his Plan A for getting to [[BronyCon]]. In doing so, he doxxed Stone fully.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/1021436370768867329</ref> That Chris appeared annoyed at Miss Cherry claiming to be in a relationship with him is interesting, considering that [[Chris and hypocrisy|he has done the same thing]] to [[Megan Schroeder|many]] [[The Wallflower|women]] in the past. Stone discontinued his pledge on the next day;<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/miss-cherry-tried-pretending-to-be-chriss-gf-pledged-1-000-to-him.45747/page-13#post-3594892</ref> however, as Chris had set his Patreon to upfront charging,<ref>[[September 2017 Patreon posts]]</ref> the money remained with Chris. Miss Cherry faded into obscurity, broke and broken-hearted.

===James Lewis Martin===
[[File:William Robinson.jpg|thumb|200px|One of Martin's pictures that he had volunteered on [[Kiwi Farms]].]]

{{quote|Giving Christine money for food, petrol, gas, electricity isn't enabling.|Martin, defending his enabling.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6258328</ref>}}

'''James Lewis Martin''' (11 May 1985 – 1 June 2020),<ref>https://www.obituare.com/james-martin-obituary-77884/#obituary</ref> also known as '''William Robinson''' or '''CPU Byzantium Heart''',<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/</ref> was an [[autism|autistic]], emotionally perturbed <s>[[China|Chinese]]</s> Polish Englishman, <abbr title="One who exposes himself freely on Kiwi Farms.">''halal'' lolcow</abbr> and Hirschberg's friend, also giving Chris money and affirmation over his fantasy world by pretending to be a fellow [[CPU]] god.<ref>https://twitter.com/ByzantiumHeart/with_replies Archive: http://archive.fo/9qq4P</ref> Robinson believed that he should give Chris his mother's money to keep him from going homeless and to fund his other expenses,<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-james-lewis-martin-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/post-6306934 Martin's funds come from his mother, 17 April 2020]</ref> ignoring the fact that Chris's [[monthly tugboat]] already covers these and that Chris spends any donations on frivolities such as printing up [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder|TSSSF]] cards and buying [[magic stones]]. Martin also tried to send his aunt, a social worker, to Chris's house to give him even more help,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6250681</ref> but Chris refused to answer the door, thinking the social worker was there to have him committed to a mental institution.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/aly-hirschberg-alan-christopher.60596/post-6252776</ref> His parents discovered him online (against [[Bob Walks In|family restrictions]]) after a failed [[white knight]]ing crusade on [[Kiwi Farms]] and bungled [[Chris and death|suicide attempt]], and revoked his Internet privileges. In [[June 2020]], Martin committed suicide following a bout of depression.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/william-robinson-james-lewis-martin-christopher-stokes-gaming-samurai-king.68238/post-6743199</ref>

===Sarah and Steven===
[[File:Sarahchu.jpg|thumb|Sarahchu]]
{{quote|Remember, if you are ever in trouble or need help (before we're able to move) just message us first! I'm afraid other people could not be very trusted.|Part of a message Sarah and Steve wrote to Chris.}}
[[File:SnSoverit.png|thumb|150px|left|Let this be a lesson to all would-be enablers.]]

'''Sarah and Steven''' were a pair of half-hearted enablers, working jointly, who first appeared in [[February 2019]] when they discussed a [[Rosechu]] [[medallion]] with Chris, as well as the possibility of meeting him in person, on Twitter.<ref>[[:File:Sarah and Steve ask permission to make medallion.jpg|Sarah and Steven's first appearance, 27 February 2019]]</ref> They had bought a [[Nintendo Switch]] for Chris and supported him on Patreon, yet their attempts to keep themselves anonymous and out of public view were derailed by Chris himself when he [[Very Cool Birthday Present! :)|filmed himself with the new console and revealed their secret plans]] to move to [[Virginia]] and isolate Chris from other contacts to make him dependent upon them. After this, they disappeared for a month, setting a trend that would mark a pattern in all future cycles of interactions with Chris.

In [[May 2019]], Sarah and Steven returned, professing themselves as believers in Chris's [[Chris and his ego|personality cult]],<ref>http://archive.fo/rc9aN</ref> and again sought to malign him against the [[Guard Dogs]] by presenting themselves as exclusively trustworthy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/File_talk:Sarah_and_Steve_DM_messages_1.png</ref> After several of their private discussions were leaked onto [[Kiwi Farms]],<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1060#post-4782445</ref> they abandoned course again and lamented that they were swindled out of the money they had freely given Chris in their bid for influence over him; their relationship with Chris further deteriorated,<ref>[[:File:SNSjuly23rd2.png]][[:File:SNSjuly23rd3.png]]</ref> and he finally cast them aside on 25 [[July 2019]], when they raised the question of what would happen should they dare question any of Chris's teachings or beliefs.<ref>[[:File:SNSunfollowed.png]]</ref> Further attempts to reach Chris by endorsing [[Jacob Sockness]], in both [[August 2019|August]] and [[October 2019]],<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1149#post-5140617 Random Chris updates, page 1149]</ref><ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/twitter-11-3-sockness-manipulating-chris-to-trust-only-him-chris-turns-against-null.62825/ Thread on Sockness's attempts to isolate Chris, 3 November 2019]</ref> have to date all ended in failure.

In [[March 2021]], Chris revealed their OC, called Sarahchu, born from a Lopunny Pokémon and a [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]; she is a part-poison type.

===William Waterman===
{{quote|Do you Ever Stop?|[[Chris]], annoyed at Waterman constantly posting comments on his Facebook updates}}

[[Image:William_Elliott_Waterman.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Waterman, a.k.a. VikingBoyBilly]]

'''William Elliott Waterman''' (born 1 March 1986) was a [[Facebook]] friend of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] during the mid 2010s, known for making many comments of support, occasional advice, and off-topic remarks on Chris's posts, and for being repeatedly unfriended. He has also purchased artwork from Chris, including [[Sonichu 0|the first issue of ''Sonichu'']] and has been a supporter on [[Patreon]].

Chris and Waterman apparently met online, through Waterman's cousin and one of Chris's most well-known enablers, [[Anna McLerran]]. They never met in person, and Chris initiated the friend request after correspondence with Waterman,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#William Elliott Waterman's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref> despite him being [[JERKS|male]] and having [[Asperger syndrome]]. Waterman's first activity on Chris's Facebook timeline is from May [[2013]].<ref>[[May_2013_Facebook_Posts#This_cold_is_really_weighing_me_down]]</ref>

In [[November 2015]], Waterman tried to claim that Chris was under his control and would not make any more statuses or videos until the administration of [[Kiwi Farms]] gave into demands he made. Chris, refusing to be part of Waterman's schemes, posted on Facebook that he had control over his own life,<ref>[[November_2015_Facebook_Posts#I_Control_My_Life|Facebook post]]</ref> and then promptly unfriended Waterman. By [[June 2016]], Waterman had wormed his way back into being re-added. Later that month, at Waterman's request, Chris began reading [[:Category:Rainbows, Unicorns, and a Bluebird of Happiness|Rainbows, Unicorns, and a Bluebird of Happiness]].<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-reads-unicorns-rainbows-and-a-bluebird-of-happiness.21663/page-9#post-1534383</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-reads-unicorns-rainbows-and-a-bluebird-of-happiness.21663/page-24#post-1563368</ref> Shortly after Chris had read chapter four of that fanfic, he unfriended Waterman again.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/7-9-yt-announcement_20160709.22293/page-7#post-1586578</ref> In [[Announcement 20160709]], Chris revealed that he was angry at "Mr. Bill" for suggesting that he read the story, which Chris found to be nonsensical. Three weeks later, Chris re-added him to his friend list again.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-7-28-tranny-status-updates.22924/page-3#post-1633317</ref> Days after he reappeared on Chris's Facebook comments section, Chris began a new series of fanfic-reading videos called [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"]].

Waterman paid Chris to insert his [[OC]] [[Bananasauros]] into [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], where the character moves in with [[Punchy Sonichu]] and has sex with an opposite-gender clone. Chris apparently found Bananasauros so asinine he couldn't resist inserting his own criticisms into the comic. Despite being personally insulted by Chris in the very set of pages he had paid for, as well as on Patreon's comments section,<ref>[[July_2017_Patreon_posts#Ripping_off_MLP]]</ref> Waterman continued to be a loyal supporter, donating monthly to Chris for some time, though eventually ending his pledge.

With the revelation of Chris engaging in [[incest]] with his mother, Waterman declared on the former’s Facebook page that he was done with Chris.

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
{{People}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder

2021-11-16T02:00:15Z

DougShanz: /* Fan cards */

{{quote|Win this Goal when: Chris Chan is Shipped with Christine Chan|Or in other words, go fuck yourself, literally.<ref>[[:File:CWCIsPronouncedAsQuick.jpg]]</ref>}}

{{quote|to Everyone: Be GLAD I am actually making towards availability “canon” Sonichu Merchandise by mine, and Magi-Chan’s, Efforts and Work. The [[Sonichu (comic)|Books]] Will Continue, Obviously. BUT Enjoy what will be something More Awesome to Play with your friends.

Shut Up, Haters. ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris demonstrates his customer service skills towards people who wanted more ''Sonichu'' comics instead of his homemade Shipfic cards.<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1183217772429529089</ref>}}

[[Image:SonichuTCG.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu attempting to understand the magnitude of this card game's [[autism]].]]

[[File:Tssf may 20.jpg|thumb|Chris showing off some of his cards.]]

'''Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder''' or '''TSSSF''' is a fan-made ''[[My Little Pony]]'' [[trading card game]] that satirizes the [[Internet]] phenomena known as [[wikipedia:Shipping (fandom)|shipping]]. Unsurprisingly, Chris has latched onto this card game, presumably learning about it at [[BronyCon#2019|BronyCon 2019]], and has produced a number of original cards for the game based off of his ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters and those of others, not unlike his [[Wall of Originals]]. Like his attempts at making [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards, his custom TSSSF cards have lost sight of the original game's mechanics and have simply become another creative medium for Chris, arguably the successor to his comic books. He has created well over 129 cards so far, with countless more seen in the numerous spreads on Twitter and in [[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder Livestreams|YouTube videos]].

==Card production==
Chris simply uses a template linked from the website of the official TSSSF page.<ref>https://latent-logic.github.io/TSSSF-Frontend/#v1:AoewdgngBlC2CGAbApgM2QlBCArmAlgMYgBOYMFA7sgEYC0A5ictAOoCiAQgAQDCAggCUAIgG5uAFQDKMgGLcaEbgAlSJfDRTdgyEAActAcXixkAZwB03bvxIAXBUoCqYANZgQlMBaA=</ref> Consequentially, the card types (meant for pony characters) do not match the subject matter of most of Chris's Sonichu recolor cards and instead have types shoehorned in (such as Sonichu being typed as Earth Pony). For the physical cards, Chris uses a website called [https://www.makeplayingcards.com/ Make Playing Cards.com] or MPC, a print on demand site similar to [[Lulu]] but excursively for custom trading cards.<ref>https://youtu.be/qaMATKz3eQg?t=313</ref><ref>https://www.makeplayingcards.com/sell/marketplace/chris-chan-sonichu-expansion.html</ref>

==List of cards==
===Sonichus===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanColoring2.jpg|150px]] [[File:April5MagiChanCard.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| A Bit of Psychic Power (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to three Pony cards on the grid.
| "You think you can just ship me with anyone? I ship myself with my [[Polyamorous marriage|loved ones]], my [[Sweetheart|allies and friends]], and my [[Sarah Hammer|neighbors]]."

'''Updated:''' "You think you can just ship me with anyone? I ship myself with my loved ones, my allies and friends, and my neighbors." - Magi-Chan Sonichu

| 16 [[August 2019]]<ref name=16aug19>[[August 2019 social media posts#Magi-Chan makes his own cards]]</ref>

7 April 2021 (updated)<ref name=7apr21>[[April 2021 social media posts#Favorite Pokemon]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanColoring3.jpg|150px]]
| Telekinesis
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this goal when: You move, swap or remove a minimum of four Ponies on, or from, the board during a single turn.
| "Your [[Slow-in-the-minds|mind]] is a most valuable asset; keep it clear and calm with a meditation and deep breaths."
| 16 August 2019<ref name=16aug19></ref>
|-
|[[Image:MagiChanColoring4.jpg|150px]][[File:Livefromsubspacecard.jpg|150px]]
| Live, From His Subspace, Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Start
| Male, Alicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. [[Chris and English|This is power cannot be copied.]]

'''Updated:''' Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid.

Once per turn, when you make a full set of four ships around a single Pony card on the grid, you may discard one of the surrounding Pony cards and replace it with a Pony card from your hand or one from the discard pile. That Pony's power activates. This power cannot be copied.
| [[The Classic|"Classic."]]
| 16 August 2019<ref name=16aug19></ref>

26 October 2019 (updated)<ref name=26oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#Boxes]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:A Wild Sonichu (Male).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Quick Attack (Special): After playing this card onto the grid, you may swap it with another Pony card on the grid.
| Pokemon Number 982: The evolved form of Sonee. After being exposed to the Chaos Emeralds Energies, a Pikachu transformed into Sonichu. It can collect electric energy from the air while running. A wild Sonichu caught by a trainer brings chaotically good luck -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:A Wild Sonichu (Female).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thundershock(New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Pokemon Number 982: The evolved form of Sonee. After being exposed to the Chaos Emeralds Energies, a Pikachu transformed into Sonichu. It can collect electric energy from the air while running. A wild Sonichu caught by a trainer brings chaotically good luck -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:AWildRosechu (Female).jpg |150px]]
| A Wild Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thunderbolt (Special): If this card is shipped with a Villain, you may discard that Pony card from the grid and play a Pony card from your hand in its place. This Power cannot be copied.
| Pokemon Number 979: The evolved form of Rosie. Rosechu was a Raichu that was transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow. Very resiliant [sic] and versetile [sic]; [[Attraction Sign|they attract everyone around them]]. Zapbuds are their favorite flowers. -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:AWildRosechu (Male).jpg|150px]]
| A Wild Rosechu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Charge (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Pokemon Number 979: The evolved form of Rosie. Rosechu was a Raichu that was transformed by the Chaotic Rainbow. Very resiliant [sic] and versetile [sic]; they attract everyone around them. Zapbuds are their favorite flowers. -Pokedex
| 10 September 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[Image:MagiChanCard.jpg|150px]]
| Magi-Chan
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| I Realize There is Another Magi-Chan Card In This Deck (Special): You may choose to play a Pony card from the Pony discard pile instead of this card. This power cannot be copied.
| I was one of the leading Special Sonichus from the chaotic Rainbow, not to mention the wisest and eldest. I, Magi-Chan Sonichu, hatched in Cerulean City's cave in 1948 mentored by the one-and-only Mewtwo, mastered my powers and abilities, traversed throughout time, space and dimensions in all directions. I am also the Guardian over the Sonichu and Rosechu Species, as well as our leading deity,-in-development, Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 14 September 2019<ref name=14sept19>[[September 2019 social media posts#Magi-Chan has entered our realm (again?)]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:NewMagiChanCard1.jpg|150px]]
| Soul of Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Reincarnation (Special): If this card is moved discarded or removed from the grid, this card may become a blank Ship card for the next Pony card entering the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| I have mastered perfect soul projection in any and all situations, including perfect reincarnation where I never lose my memory or recall at all. There are times when I'll need to leave and meditate in the cosmos and visit other distant areas for an amount of time, so I'll leave my body under good and safe care, or if need be, left for dead. I never lose my genetic makeup at all either.
| 18 September 2019<ref name=18sept19>[[September 2019 social media posts#Magi-Chan will be visiting Null]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:MetonicVamprosaCards2.jpg|150px]]
| Vamprosa
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Dark Pulse (Swap): You may swap 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| Pokemon Number 980: The evolved form of Rosechu. Its bite can suck the life out of its enemies. Its cape gives it the ability to fly. When feeling peckish, they typically enjoy fruit, though they are not stranger to meat. -Pokedex
| 18 September 2019<ref name=18sept192>[[September 2019 social media posts#Metonic and Vamprosa cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:MetonicVamprosaCards3.jpg|150px]]
| Metonic
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Slashing Blade (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Villain from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Pokemon Number 983: The evolved form of Sonichu Metonic's armor adds weight, so it can't perform a Spin Dash, but its speed stays, the same, and its spikes are diamond-sharp and durable. -Pokedex
| 18 September 2019<ref name=18sept192></ref>
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard3.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu & Rosey
| Pony
| Male or Female, Earth Pony
| This card counts as 2 Ponies. May count as either ♂ or ♀ for all Goals, Ships, and powers. Combined Sparks (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping frid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| With Sonichu and Rosey together, their combined powers and skills can outwit the most cunning of villain and foe.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Oct15card.jpg|150px]]
| Fourth Wall-Breakin' Sonichu
| Start
| Male, Earth Pony
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. Once per turn, if a Pony card is discarded or removed from the grid that would break up a full set of four ships around it, you may move this card to the position of the previous card to replace it. This power cannot be copied.
| N/A
| 15 October 2019<ref name=15oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#Good News to Patient Patrons (Patreon post)]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Zapinacard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Zapina]]
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Flashlight Stinger (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Born in the forest, alongside her BFF, Simonla Rosey, Zapina tried to follow Simonla as she was mentored, but her digging skills were lacking. Her light became obvious, so she would light the underground passageways for Simonla. Zapina was also mentored by a wild Bugzapp and a Beedrill. Zapina is a can-do, [[I'm workin' on it|gotta get-the-job-done]] type of gal and really full of energy and pep. She sets her mind on something, it sets there.
| 17 October 2019<ref name=17oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#New cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Sterbenchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Sterbenchu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| This card counts as 3 Ponies. Double Team (Special): You may swap this Pony card with anohter on the grid. If you do, the swapped Pony card gains the Sonichu, Special and Clow Keywords. This power cannot be copied.
| The Special Sonichu may look like a redesigned Super Sonic (and he is), but it's not totally his fault, as many, many people have done this before in making ther own Sonichu plushes or art; real twist of fate. Sterbenchu is essentially a basic Sonichu (With electric attacks and speed), without the Chaos Power-ups, but he can Clone Himself near infinitely.
| 18 October 2019<ref name=18oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#Further new cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Robertchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Robertchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| [[WTJU Marathon|Jazzy Classic Tune]] (copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. is Chris Chan Sonichu's biological father of Dimension 1218. He was very well-educated and well-read; his specialties are in technology, spec-designs and music. He served in the US Army stationed in the Signal Corp during the Korean War, and was employed by General Electric for 25-plus years. He transitioned into his Sonichu Form in late 2016 in C-197. He is helping out at the Cwcville Bassilicom and in battle.
| 18 October 2019<ref name=18oct19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:Cryzelcard.jpg|150px]]
| Dimension Portal-Opening Cryzel Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Warp Zone, Act 2 (Special): When this card is placed on the grid, you may swap this card with another Pony card on the shipping grid.
| From the C-197 side of the Dimensional Iron Curtain upstairs in Chris Chan's old room, Cryzel Rosechu opens a portal that goes from inside the small closet, to the entrance to Chris Chan's bedroom downstairs in 1218 side. On a "Portal Open" call from Chris Chan in most anywhere, she can open a portal to anywhere in anydimension [sic] as she needs and pleases.
| 18 October 2019<ref name=18oct19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:Patti-Chancard.jpg|150px]]
| Patti-Chan
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Howling Luck (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Weilding [sic] her wand, Patti helps defend the city of Cwcville with her swift ferocity and prowless [sic]. She was bestowed magic from a lucky five leaf clover she ate under the shining moonlight in Chris Chan's backyard in Dimension 1218 in 2006. A very kind and loyal companion and warrior, she will always do her best for everyone and herself.
| 21 October 2019<ref name=21oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#Even further new cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Metal Gear Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metal Gear]] Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Silently Swift and Shockingly Deadly (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place, then discard another Pony card from the grid as well. This power cannot be copied.
| During times of heavy war, Sonichu will put on bullet-proof vests, pants, boots and thick goves [sic] in camouflage colours. His tactics are light-speed and silent. He will only use his [[Megatron pistol|firearms]] when his cover is blown, but that does not often happen with him on the field.
| 25 October 2019<ref name=25oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#Metal Gear Sonichu cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Soldier of War Rosey Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Soldier of War Rosey Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Guns a-Blazin' (Replaced): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| During the times when there is a major war fight, Rosey answers the call, Heaviest Thunderbolts and lightning-formed artillery on-hand and at the ready. When her lightning forms machine guns, the bullets miraculously take on a metal form when shot, making each shot really count. For Our Freedom in Cwcville and the World!!!
| 25 October 2019<ref name=25oct19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:RobertchuBackHome.jpg|150px]]
| Robertchu Back at Home
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Honey, I'm Home (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Every once in a while, Mister C runs back home to offer comfort to Barbara. Before the Dimension Merge's completion, she has missed him everyday, and found the solace and comfort when he comes by. He continues to carry a torch for her in his heart and soul while he helps to protect everyone in Cwcville and at this old temple of a house.
| 1 [[November 2019]] (leaked)
|-
| [[Image:MeditatingSylvanaRosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Meditating Sylvana Rosechu
| Pony
| Male or Female, Alicorn
| May count as either (Male) or (Female) for all goals, ships and powers. Psychu Up (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for | card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Meditating in the bedroom while Chris Chan is at work. Sylvana Rosechu overlooks the surrounding areas, near and farthest, between both dimensions and checks the premonitions to confirm the events remain in proper sequence as they progress.
| 1 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:ZelinaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Zelina
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Mystic Archery (Replace): While this card is in your hand, , you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Born in Hyrule and cared for and by Princess Zelda, her ladies in waiting, as well as the knights. Zelina had become a skilled archer and swordfighter, and very well-read and educated in the highest manner. When the neighboring country had lost its monarch with no heir to the throne, Zelda offered Zelina the job of being its Princess and ruler. She accepted, and [[Rulecwc]] was made and ran very well under Zelina's rule.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DarkbindCard.jpg|150px]]
| Darkbind
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Electric Slash (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Born in Hyrule, and cared for and trained by the knights under the order of Princess Zelda, over many, many years of sword fights and most courageous quests and battles, he had leveled up to where he can rival Link, himself on equal footing. He would go on to become the head knight under Princess Zelina Rosechu in the neightboring kingdom of [[Rulecwc]]. He keeps his mind open, clear and sharp, as the wind of fate show him the path he must follow in his quests.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaWildCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Wild Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| When Wild would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Vines of Razor Leaves (Special): You may take up to five Pony cards from the discard pile and replace that number of Pony cards on the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Wild Sonichu Mega Evolves, his tail becomes as long as he is tall, and he can bounce off of, and glide in the high skies with his tail. In this time of flight, he can snipe and take out his foes with faster-than-light flying durable and sharpest of leaves and vine thorns.
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov192>[[November 2019 social media posts#Introducing the Chaotic Combos' Mega Evolution]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:MegaBubblesCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Bubbles Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| When Bubbles would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Hydro Waves (Special): Until the end of the turn, All other Pony cards on the grid, including new incoming Pony cards, become Ω. This power cannot be copied.
| When Bubbles Rosechu Mega Evolves, her quills transform into total water, so she has a hair of flowing water, solid and transparent. Her water pressure power can go up to the strongest water pressures possible upon her foes.
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov192></ref>
|-
| [[File:MegaAngelicaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Angelica Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Angelica would be discarded from the gird, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. [[Chris and religion|Holy Messiah]] (Special): Until the end of the turn, All other Pony cards on the grid, including new incoming Pony cards, become [pegasus symbol]. This power cannot be copied.
| When Angelica Rosechu Mega Evolves, she becomes uber enlightened and gains the Psychic typing; everyone around her looks upon her in awe, like the highest level deity has emerged from the Cosmos to bless them all this very day with recovered health and divine interventions. She Really Glows.
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov192></ref>
|-
| [[File:MegaPunchyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Punchy Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| When Angelica [sic] would be discarded from the grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. [[Tard rage|All-Out Pummeling]] (Special): Discard up to 10 Pony cards with the Villain and/or Changeling keywords from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied, and cannot be activated when swapped.
| When Punchy Sonichu Mega Evolves, he channels the auras of the other past and present combat warriors and fighters in all existance. In this form, he can even rival [[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] in his highest level Super saiyan forms.
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov192></ref>
|-
| [[File:UltraSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Ultra Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| When Sonichu, with the Prime keyword would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Chaos Control! (Special): Swap up to all of the other Pony cards on the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Sonichu (Prime) is exposed to the power of he seven Chaos Emeralds, he becomes Ultra Sonichu. To the touch of his aura and fur, insanely powered-up, his foes and adversaries get an insta-kill, unless we're talking a [[Obese|Really large]] foe, or one that is also over-powered, then it will take a few hits from him.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:RoseyLionessCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Rosey Rosechu (The Lioness)
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| When Rosey, with the Prime keyword would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Hear Me Roar!!! (Special): You may swap this card on the grid, and then discard up to five Pony cards from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When a Rosechu Mega Evolves, it becomes a Lioness type. Ferocious and even more agile, it can even shred massive stones and steel beams into shards with their electrified claws. To keep their clothes from getting ripped apart in the Mega Evolution, they must be removed before Evolving.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:SilverBlakeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Silver Blake Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| When Blake would be discarded, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Spacial Bolts (Special): You may discard up to three Villains from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Blake Sonichu Mega Evolves, His powers become more aggressive. In his battles, he still maintains his focus and mind. He is able into insta-teleport and appear behind his foes to take them out in a single sweep. He can also divide his electric energy so a single thunderbolt can strike in a hundred or so locations upon his foes.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MegaMagiChanCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| When Magi-Chan would be discarded, play this card from your hand or discard pile in his place. Premonition Insight (Special): For the rest of the game, play with 6 Goal cards face up. This power cannot be copied.
| When Magi-Chan Sonichu Mega Evolves, it is like a divine intervention moment for eveyone in the area. His psychic powers get a massive boost, even a bit more powerful than Mega Mewtwo Y's psychic power. He brings instant insight and wisdoms to everyone with good intentions in their hearts that lasts as long as he is Mega Evolved.
| 17 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DJPon-SonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| DJ Pon-Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Droppin' The Bass (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| For the family on [[Halloween]] 2017, Sonichu dressed up as Vinyl Scratch, and he showed off well that he could rock it!
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:OctaviaRoseyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Octavia Rosey
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Stringing the Bow (Copy): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Rosey dressed up as Octavia Melody. Rosey doesn't play the cello, but she still does enhoy classical music, in addition to Dubstep and J-Pop.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:RobertaDash.jpg|150px]]
| Roberta Dash
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Rainbow Streaks]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Roberta dressed up as Rainbow Dash; [[Chris and English|obvious and very 20% Cooler choice than most other getups]]. Maybe Rainbow and Roberta can make a simultaneous Sonichu Rainboom together sometime.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:CeraJackCard.jpg|150px]]
| CeraJack
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Zap Apples (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Cera dressed up as Applejack. During the outing, she found a full apple tree. She gave it a [[PSEye|swift punch]], and every one of them in her tote bag.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:ChristineSparkleCard.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Sparkle
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Magical Experiment (Special): You may add a Keyword of your choice (except Pony names), change the Race, or change the Gender of one Pony card this one is shipped with.
| For the family on Halloween, 2017, Christine dressed up as (Science) Twilight Sparkle. Sense of style, aside, Christine sparkled as she strutted her stuff and danced like a nerd.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:LegoSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Lego]] Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Mach-Speed Master Building (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| From the Lego Dimension, Sonichu rises to protect and defend the locals and his friends and family in Cwcville, there, from the brick-shattering foes.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:LegoRosechuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Lego Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Thunderbuild (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| From the Lego Dimension, Rosey rises to protect and defend the locals and his friends and family in Cwcville, there, from the brick-shattering foes.
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[File:MediatingMagi-ChanSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Meditating Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Miracle Eye (Special) Special): While this card is in your hand, you may look at your opponent's hand, pick a ship card you find there and play it with this card. This power cannot be copied.
| Meditating in the bedroom while Chris Chan is at work, Magi-Chan Sonichu broadens the connection between Dimensions 1218 and C-197 to make it easier for traversing between them with Chris Chan, Barbara, and everyone else within. Chris Chan is also in constant meditation and psychic link as her magic, powers and abilities continues to strengthen and develop.
| 22 November 2019 (Leaked)
|-
| [[Image:drsterbenchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Doctor Sterbenchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| [[Hormone treatment|Prescribing Some Medicine]] (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Sterbenchu is a fully-educated, fully-trained PhD in all biologies of species, including humans, Pokemon, Digimon, and so forth. He also helped Christine Chan in her transitioning from male to female by balancing out her human genetics and hormones. He is able to do the operation, but he is more a general and family doctor. And when the backup generator's power goes out or is lost, he can light up the hospital instantly with a full recharge.
| 21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:perceptorcard.jpg|150px]]
| Perceptor
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| IQ of 500 and Wisdom Sense (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Perceptor is the most intelligent of [[Slow in the minds|Everyone Else]], even moreso than Eggman's 300 IQ. She learned everything there is to know throughout all of time, space and dimenions [sic] from her psychic mentors. Her mission is to Inspire, Teach and encourage Sound Reasoning and Thinking in Everyone, except our enemies.
| 21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Ogsonichucard.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Extremespeed (Special): You may draw 3 cards from the Ship or Pony deck or a combination between the two.
| "I like yellow. It's vibrant, bright, and even flashy in the dark Even my fur is yellow. But blue is calming; I look up at the clear, blue sky on a good day, I feel free. Like I'll be able to do awesome things. Even make a dark sky blue again with a break in the lightning." -Sonichu" Book #15
| 23 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Mega Simonla Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Simonla Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| When Simonla would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Earthquake (Special): Discard up to three Ship cards from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Simonla Rosechu Mega Evolves, she gains massiver physical strength and defensive endurance, also her quills are [[Knife|seriously sharp]] to the touch. In this form, she can dig tunnels at almost light-speed, even through stone and mountains.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Mega Sylvana Rosechu.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Sylvana Rosechu
| Pony
| [[Transgender|Male or Female]], Alicorn
| When Sylvana would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Psychic Transformations (Special): You may select a Sonichu or Rosechu from the Pony discard pile and replace a Villain on the shipping grid with it. This power cannot be copied.
| [Archivist's Note: Yes, Chris forgot to change the flavor text from the Mega Simonal card] When Simonla Rosechu Mega Evolves, she gains massive physical strength and defensive endurance, also her quills are seriously sharp to the touch. In this form, she can dig tunnels at almost light-speed, even through mountains.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:BorisTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Boris
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Center of Gravity (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| A Sonichu with the ability to draw in surrounding beings using his own field of gravity. Boris is a force to be reconed [''sic''] with, despite his appearance. Quirky, but jovial, he usually doesn't talk, but he is always excited to meet new friends!
| 24 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Boris!]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:WarriorAuthorRoseyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Warrior Author Rosey Rosechu
| Start
| Female, Earth Pony
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. Once per turn, you may give a non-Villain Pony card on the shipping grid the Hero keyword, until the end of your turn. This power cannot be copied.
| N/A
| 24 December 2019
|-
| [[File:ChaosControllingMagi-ChanSonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Controlling Magi-Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Chaos Control! (Special): When this card is attached to the shipping grid, you may swap this card and one Start card on the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied, and cannot be activated when this card is swapped on the grid.
| Magi-Chan, like Sonic, Sonichu and Chris Chan, Christine Chan, and so forth, can use the power of the Chaos Emeralds to use Chaos Control as needed for the greater good of everyone. But unlike most, he can also achieve this to an extent with his psychic powers, alone.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Bundychu TSSSF card.jpg|150px]]
| Bundychu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Target Shot (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
|Ted Bundy WAS charged with murder in Dimension 1218 before transitioning into Dimension C-197 into his Sonichu Form. He has been fully reformed, so his intentions are only used in combat against evil forces, and he does not harm the innocent. His tail was blown off in a battle against Dr. Eggman. He finds recreation in skeet shooting.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:TriCard.jpg|150px]]
| Tri
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Psychic Power-Ups (Special): Until the end of your turn. All other Pony cards on the grid. including new incoming Pony cards. become (unicorn) This Power cannot be copied.
| A recent clone, out of three, from the colIected DNA strands between Sonichu, Angelica and Magi-Chan, that Giovanni ordered to happen. Tri was all up for working for and with Team Rocket. but then he met Meghan, the CPU Magenta Heart. who taught him that he did not have to be evil. And Tri Sonichu was reformed, and helps us out.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Topher.jpg|150px]]
| Topher
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Zappin' Sparks (Special): While this card is in your hand. you may discard a Pony card with the Villain keyword from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| In Dimension H-684. Sonichu and Rosey’s children are Topher and Isty. chville is overtaken by Giovanni, Eggman. and the Hatchlings. Topher takes after his father. and remains loyal to his friends, family and hometo wn. He is still building up his running speed. but he IS almost matching in power and skills as his father. Between him and Isty, the two of them can each overpower powered-up Legendary Pokemon.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Wes-Li.jpg|150px]]
| Wes-Li
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Illusionary Flames (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn. discard it.
| Wes Islei is a Special half-Sonichu who performed as a magician in his human form. He had a relationship with one Sarah Hammer. an old friend of Chris Chan's, whose return into her fife made him feel rivaled. Finding that the rivalry was meant to be. he took the fact that she broke up with him, because he wasn't as huge a success as she had thought of him, out on Chris Chan Sonichu. -‘Sonichu" book 32, .25
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Zappy.jpg|150px]]
| Zappy
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Dark Pulse Jolt (Special): When this card is shipped with four Pony cards. discard three of them. and then swap this card with another Pony card on the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| A recent clone, out of three. from the collected DNA strands between Sonichu. Angelica and Magi-Chan, that Giovanni ordered to happen. Zappy is a major a-hole With a heart darker than any heart can get. He is cunning, wise-cracking, and has Darkness typing and abilities on top of his normal electric typing and abilities, and he was jacked up on attack candies. The most devious amongst Team Rocket‘s Clones.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Sackboy_Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Sackboy Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Speed-Building (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| On the LittleBiGPlanet of Craftworld, there lives, amongst the Sackboys, Sackgirls, and Sachcreatures, the Sonichus and Rosechus. This one is the mightiest. strongest. fastest. agile. and most able amongst the others, comparable to the Sonichu (Prime) on Earth. He has traversed many a planet and dimension in his travels as well, and bringing speedy crafting and a smile to everyone.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Timechu.jpg|150px]]
| Timechu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Time Skip (Special): You may discard 1 active Goal and replace it with one from the Goal discard pile. This power cannot be copied.
| Time'chu is a Sonichu with technical knowledge and skills. He ended up being exposed to an energy force that triggered his own time particles. making him unstable to stay in a timeline. He crafted a device that stablizes him and allows him to jump forward and back in time. as well as slipping into and out of 1218, C-197 and local Dimensions in this exact timeline. This one was born in Australia and speaks with a surfer dialogue.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Sasha-Chi.jpg|150px]]
| Sasha-Chi
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Stealthy Shurikin (Special): You may discard a Pony card with the Villain keyword from the grid.
| Sasha-Chi is the leader of the trio of Ninja Special Rosechus. Her specialty weapons are shurikin and katana blades, of which she can create from lightning, and she carries metal shurikin for assurance against her distant foes. She will always remain loyal to her sisters and the other Sonichus and Rosechus. and their allies.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Silvachu.jpg|150px]]
| Silvachu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Sharpen (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Silvachu is a special steel/electric type. He has a unique ability to sharpen his arms to chop down even the mightiest and thickest of trees; even petrified wood is no match for him. His tail is always strong and able to cut like an axe. He controls the rigidness with his anger levels.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Saramah.jpg|150px]]
| Saramah
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Accurate Arrows (Replace): While this card is in your hand. you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Sarah was Chris Chan’s childhood BFF; they got separated when he had to move to Richmond to attend Middle and High School. They got back together and hung for a while during college years. Turns out Sarah is a Special half-Rosechu as well. She possesses a keen mind, psychic intellect and great archery skills. Even married nowadays, she still has to defend herself and her family from the occasional hard trouble or villain.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Nana-Mi.jpg|150px]]
| Nana-Mi
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Reading the Fine Print (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn. discard it.
| Nana-Mi is the brains and smarts of the trio of Ninja Special Rosechus. Her specialty weapons are her Kusara Kama and secondary bo staff. The three of them being born in Japan. but relocated to America for Cwcille‘s defense, Nana-Mi keeps an interest in Japanese current events, heritage. culture. and other histories. But in the midst of battle. she would rather defend her sisters over all of the libraries of books in the worlds.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Kristal-La-Trois.jpg|150px]]
| Kristal-La-Trois
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Attract (Special): When this card is played on the grid. you may choose up to 3 other Pony cards on the grid. Each Pony card and one attached Ship card is moved and attached to Kristal-La-Trois instead.
| Kristal has a unique ability of instantly charming Anyone into infatuation and attraction; this ability is boosted when she is better-dressed. She's had it rough, as she was emotionally abused. She goes to support groups and professional psychiatric therapy. but old developed habits die hard. She is useful in distracting the enemy, regardless of gender.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Martyn.jpg|150px]]
| Martyn
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Back to the F uture (Special): Once during a turn. when this card become (hourglass). you may draw a card from the Pony or Ship deck. This power cannot be copied.
| Martyn Sonichu is the future child of Magi-Chan Sonichu and Sylvana Rosechu, coming from around the year 2035, AD, in the Alpha Timeline of the merged Dimension of 1C-211987. He comes back in time to help out in the good fights and battles when even his mother and father were out-witted. and That does not happen often. Martyn’s learned from beyond the very best of psychic types.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:KaceyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Kacey
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Blizzard (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Kacey is a special ice electric Rosechu. She generally likes to have a good time and hang with her friends. She's also held a few jobs, including as a restaurant server. and still presently as a fossil researcher and attendant at the Cwcille Museum.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Mina-La.jpg|150px]]
| Mina-La
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Aura Sphere ( New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Mina-La is the aggressive and better physical strength of the trio of Nima Special Rosechus. Her specialty weapons are her aura spheres. fists. and nunchucks. As the shortest of the three. she tends to feel distant, but she is closes: with her sisters. When the chips are down, she will rush in with the best of close-range combat to send their foes flying.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Isty.jpg|150px]]
| Itsy
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Witty Observations (Search) You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn. discard it.
| In Dimension H-684. Sonichu and Rosey's children are Topher and Isty. Cwcville is overtaken by Giovanni. Eggman, and the Hatchlings. Isty is an intelligent and sassy gal: she sometimes has to guide Topher on missions and quests. On her own, she can still land quite the punches, thunderbolts and fury. She was hatched while Sonichu and Rosey were vacationing in Alola. Isty takes after her mother in some ways.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:J-chu, TSSSF card.jpg|150px]]
| J-Chu
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| Leading the Skies (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| J-Chu is a Special Half-Sonichu/Half-human from Dimension 1218: mentally stable, he works with the US Army Force as a Piloting Captain of the skies. Trading jets for the wings on his back. he is capable of catching up to the fastest flying jet or spacecraft ever in local and distant skies. He can literally think within milliseconds to do what he and his crew needs to do to defend America. and the Earths.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Devilica.jpg|150px]]
| Devilica
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Deviations (Keyword. Gender or Race Change): Until the end of your turn. you may change the gender or race. or add a keyword. of a Pony shipped with this card.
| A recent clone. out of three, from the collected DNA strands between Sonichu, Angelica and Magi-Chan, that Giovanni ordered to happen. Devilica turned out wanting to deviate and go her own way with passion and snark. She ended up in the slums of Cwcille. where she made friends with two very active Rosechus. but it was not easy for her to open up. Devilica was not one to talk about her feelings or trust others so easily and recklessly. But, they earned her respect.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:ChloeTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chloe Rosechu|Chloe]]
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Bouncing Zap (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Chloe has a unique tail that allows her to bounce into the sky, and when she falls, she used her tail as a landing bounce pad and remain safe. Her electric powers are very powerful as well; she jumps into a thick enough cloud, it instantly becomes a thunderous cloud.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:BlazebobTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| [[Blazebob Sonichu|Blazebob]]
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Flaming Bolts (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Blazebob is Chloe Rosechu's brother. He likes his food hot and really spicy. His flames even outmatch the flames of any Mega Charizard, not to mention his thunderbolts have been known to KO one quick.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Luka.jpg|150px]]
| Luka
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Onyx Level Magic (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| A Special half-Sonichu of Dimension 1218, Lukas is an intelligent and highly psychic and magical individual. He was a really good friend of mine, along with his friends, Devil and Eva. His magic caught the attention of Arfoire, who was able to mentally manipulate him for a while. But, Lukas has broken free of her manipulations, transformed into his Sonichu form, and got the hell awaya from the witch to join me and our allies in friendship and in defense of the Earths.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:Devil.jpg|150px]]
| Devil
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Flame Charge (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Devil is a Special half-Sonichu from Dimension 1218. Very close to Lukas, and a chill dude with a [[Tobacky|lit head]] (since he's a fire-electric type). Loyal to a fault, Devil will not leave his friends behind, and he enjoys hanging out and talking. But he is ready for action alongside the battlelines alongside I and the rest of our allies and friends.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:Evachu.jpg|150px]]
| Evachu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Healing Pulse (Special): You may draw up to 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| Eva is a Special half-Rosechu from Dimension 1218. She is rather laid back, but with her electrifying fairy aura and senses, she supports and heals Lukas, Devil and as many as possible. Rather simple in interests, as she likes to listen and be part of the group. She is never overlooked, including by me, because I know she has awesome healing powers and strength of her own.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:PopMusicRosey.jpg|150px]]
| Pop Music Rosey
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Poppin' the Jams (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Rosey has an interest in JPop Music, as well as the other Pop tunes, regardless of country; local, included. She even has a once-a-week gig on [[KCWC]] sharing the JPop tunes.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:Cryzel tsssf.jpeg|150px]]
| Cryzel
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
|Dimensional Pull (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may swap a Pony card from the grid with this card in your hand. If the Pony card is still in your hand at the end of the turn, discard it. This power cannot be copied.
| [[PVCC|Well-educated]], [[pedofork|youthful]] and strong; Cryzel is able to open dimensional portals and heal herself and others quick as lightning. She is a master of mental strength and endurance in her skill set. [[Chris Chan]], [[Magi-Chan]], [[Sylvana]] and [[Mewtwo]] really appreciate, love and care about her a lot.
| 28 March 2020<ref name=28mar20>[[March 2020 social media posts#Shipping]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:CrossFunMagi-Chan.jpg|150px]]
| Cross fun Magi-Chan
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Untrappable (Special): Until the end of your turn, all of the other cards this one is shipped with, you may change their respective genders, and give them each the Princess keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| "My hubby has always been someone who appreciates love and the finer and simple things. So it is no surprise that he would find cross-dressing stylish and delightful." - Chris Chan Sonichu
| 14 November 2020<ref name=14nov20>[[November 2020 social media posts#Happy birthday Magi-Chan]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:BarbaraCard.jpg|150px]]
| Barbara Anne Rosechu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Redneck Tomboy (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara Anne Weston Chandler]], fully reincarnated as a Special Rosechu a while after the completion of the [[Dimensional Merge|Dimension Merge]] between [[1218]] and [[C-197]]. Her memories remained in tact and fully restored, she works with [[Bob Chandler|Robertchu]] and helps everyone out. She can also be kick-ass with her physical strength.
| 20 June 2021<ref name=20Jun21>[[June 2021 social media posts#Father's Day]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:ChrisChanSonichuChaosControlling.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Controlling Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Chaos Control! (Special): When this card is attached to the shipping grid, you may swap this card and one Start card on the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied, and cannot be activated when this card is swapped on the grid.
| Chris Chan, like Sonic, Sonichu and Christine Chan, and so forth, can use the power of the Chaos Emeralds to use Chaos Control as needed for the greater good of everyone.
| 4 July 2021<ref name=4Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#OCs]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:PunchyCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Punchy]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Mach Thunderpunch (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Punchy is one of the leading Special Sonichus from the Chaotic Rainbow. He hatched and was mentored in a fighting dojo by his Sensi Shinabe. Punchy's tail was ripped off in a fight, causing him to evolve. His punches are super strong rivaling even Goku, himself. His thunderpunches are as powerful, although he possesses punches of the other elements as well.
| 16 July 2021<ref name=16Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Punchy and Angelica stuff]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:AngelicaCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Angelica]]
| Pony
| Female, Pegasus
| Praise Peace and Love (Special): You may search the Ship and Pony discord pile for 1 card of your choice from each and put them into your hand. If they're still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard them.
| Angelica is one of the leading Special Rosechus who came from the Chaotic Rainbow. She hatched in Samuel Memorial United Christian Church of Cwcville and raised by the Nuns who tended it. Angelica grew to keep an open and kind heart for others who are good in soul. She believed in the good deities, in her friends and allies, and in herself.
| 16 July 2021<ref name=16Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Punchy and Angelica stuff]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:SimonlaCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Simonla]]
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Dig Deep (Special): You may search the Ship or Pony deck for 1 card of your choice and put into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it. This power cannot be copied.
| Born in the forest, alongside her BFF, Zapina Rosey, and her broter, Simonchu, Simonla was mentored by a Sandslash who taught her how to dig. She found a knack for it with her super tough hands, as Simitanium coarsed through her bones and veins; strong as Titanium. Simonla ended up employed in Cwcville to help with construction above ground and below ground. Her natural goggles keeps dust out of her eyes.
| 19 July 2021<ref name=19Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Chris answers questions]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:SandyCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sandy]]
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Dig a Sturdy Hole (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Sandy Rosechu is the daughter of Wild Sonichu and Simonla Rosechu. She has a bit of a temper, but she is mostly chill, a good friend, and a hard worker in construction, battles and her other interests. She has developed her skills and techniques under the guiance of her parents, Chris Chan's Blaziken, Inuyasha, and the Sandslash who mentored Simonla. She is high-level, and getting better and stronger.
| 19 July 2021<ref name=19Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Chris answers questions]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:JamstaCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jamsta]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Droppin' Da Beatz (Search) You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for up to 2 cards of your choice and put them into your hand. If they're still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard them.
| The most Rad DJ of Cwcville's radio station, [[KCWC]], he makes da announcements and streams the jams like nobody's business. He's always dashin' on the prowl for the latest beats, and to be showy and radical with his fans and the ladies. But, he mainly opens up, off-air and off-stage with his bodacious babe, Lolisa Rosechu. YEOW!!!
| 19 July 2021<ref name=19Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Chris answers questions]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:LolisaCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Lolisa]]
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Good Vibrations (Special): All Pony cards shipped with this one gain the Hero keyword, and any with the Villain keyword lose that keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| Lolisa is a lovely and musical Rosechu. She makes the smooth bass and jazzy rythm that makes for a good time with the tunes she likes to share. She puts out a music note from each of her fingers and tail tip whenever she performs an electric attack, allowing her to create a catchy, classic beat anywhere. She co-hosts on [[KCWC]] with Jamsta Sonichu, and keeps him in line and from misbehavin' too much.
| 19 July 2021<ref name=19Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Chris answers questions]]</ref>
|-
|}

===[[My Little Pony]]===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:ChrisNewArt1.jpg|150px]]
| Hanging With Past Friends
| Ship
| Heart
| You may choose to play the top card of the Pony discard pile with this Ship, rather than play a Pony card from your hand.
| Years after Nightstar accidentally slipped forward in time as a filly, she mastered her time spells and went back to live the years she missed. She was good friends with the Mane seven of the "Second Generation". She delighted with enlightening the group with her wisdom and sharing in their moments. In this moment, she was telling Clover of how she is capable of making her own good luck.
| 15 September 2019<ref name=15sept19>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris shows off some fresh new art]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard6.jpg|150px]]
| Waiting in Line
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "I said, how about this line for Zap Apple Jam?", said [[Kun Hanhphuc]]. "Oh! Yes. It is a long line, but I'm getting more apples. ...I'm Nightstar", she replied. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kun Hanhphuc." "Kun Han..." "It's Vietnamese for Happiness." "Oh! Have you been to Vietnam?" "No. My father named me after an old friend of his from there." -"Sonichu" book 12-9
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[File:GigiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Gigi On The Town
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Meet Me Singin' In Ihe Rain In St. Louis (Bound): Whenever this card would be moved on the shipping grid, select a Pony card and the ship card attached to it; that pony remains shipped with this card. This does not apply to discard rules. If the destination has a full set of Pony cards around it, this card cannot be moved.
| This musical pony loves to sing and breaks out into song at the proper moments. She was inspired by MGM classic movies like "Singin' in the Rain", "On the Town", "Meet Me in St. Louis", and even "Gigi". She has a song in her heart.
| 5 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PrincessTwilightCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Twilight Sparkle of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Royal Command (copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| After saving Equestria of Triek, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Grogar, Twilight Sparkle ascended as one of the rules [sic] over Equestria. With her friends, she assembled the Round Table of Friendship, where the lot of them meet, plan and work out what the next step of the job ought to be. Celestia and Luna continue to rule alongside Princess Twilight Sparkle, but maintain free time for themeselves.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#Gen5 is not meant to be for Years]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:PrinceSpikeCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Spike of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| We're Not Flawless (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Spike found his own ascension. In a day when everyone was being heavily divided up, because everyone was not accepting each other, Spike ended up being the one to save the day by being accepting of each and every individual he talked with. Soon after talking with everyone, Spike started glowing, and everyone was inspired to be accepting of each other.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:PrincessAppleJackCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Applejack of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[True and Honest|Honesty]] (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| In only what can be called the Day of a Thousand Truths, Everyone from Ponyville to Canterlot, to the Crystal Empire, and then some, began suffering from serious doubt in each other, and they all started lying to each other and everyone. Only Applejack was able to round up everyone and get them each to tell at least one truth, even if it was a lie. After getting at least a thousand creatures to tell the truth to heal them, Applejack ascended and became an Alicorn, and her first burst of magic healed all of Equestria of this heavy shroud of doubts and fears.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:PrincessRainbowDashCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Rainbow Dash of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Band Together (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| All across Equestria, one day, [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Loyalty]] had become scarce; eveyone ended up becoming selfish and aloof; friendly groups had disbanded recklessly, Rainbow Dash had to make everyone see what they all have in common goal and view. It would take more than a Sonic Rainboom to mend this mess. She talked to everyone, lured and forced them back together to listen. As she stood proud and tall as she spoke, a bright rainbow of light shone from her, and she became an Alicorn, and a new inspiration of Loyalty to everyone.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:PrincessFluttershyCard.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Fluttershy of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Love Conquers Hate (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| One day, everyone was Trolling and Hating on each other; this was massive; even the animals were prone to the dark magic that loomed this day. Fluttershy did what she could to continue to be kind to others, even if they wre being mean and cruel to her. And then she had to smack some sense into everyone out of tough love, and in doing so, she ascended and became an Alicorn; her kindness burst out across Equestria, resoring everyone to being kind again.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:PrincessPinkieCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Pinkie Pie of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Sonic Pinkieboom (Special): All Pony cards shipped with this one gain the Hero keyword.
| Another day, all of Equestra suddenly became sullen and depressed, some of the ponies started contemplating suicide, but none of them could go through with it. To Pinkie Pie, this was like looking into a mirror at pinkamina. She remebered the Sonic Rainboom. So, she took as many balloons as she could, shone them in front of the largest light around, and made a rainbow. Everyone started to smile. And then, Pinkie was teleported miles up, becoming an Alicorn, and then making her own Sonic Rainboom.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:PrincessRarityCard.jpg|150px]]
| Prince Rarity of the Round Table of Friendship
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Lovely, Dahling (2-Draw): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| One day suddenly everyone all over Equestria became most greedy and selfish; not sharing with anyone at all. Rarity had to solve this the only way she can; she gave to as many as possible, and then encouraged them to give to each other; this took a lot of coercing, [[Creepy stare|glares]] and charm, but she managed. When Rarity was feeling weak, one of them gave to her, and then she glowed and became an Alicorn, inspiring generosity upon eveyone.
| 6 November 2019<ref name=6nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:GaryStufCard.jpg|150px]]
| Gary Stu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| I'm Gary Stu, and I know what to do (Special): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, including powers that cannot be copied, except for pony cards with the changeling keyword.
| Here he is, everyone: the one-and-only Gary Stu. "Hey, Everyone! I simply can't go wrong. I've had my troubles at first, but I swiftly recovered and picked up on local etiquette. But, I would not be whereI am without my beloved Mary Sue. I have to say: where is Mary's TSSSF card? Hey, Methvan, can we have a card of our Mary, please?! I know what to do! I'm Gary Stu!"
| 11 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Orioncard.jpg|150px]]
| Orion
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| [[Magical thinking|Wicca Powers]] (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| Orion looks at Crypt Wing, and asks him, "How trippy is the feeling of magic when your soarin' [[Wacky Tobacky|super high]]? My homebrews to make unicorn magic a thing with me has been super successful and awesome! Oh! I'm making this cup levitate now!"
| 17 November 2019<ref name=17nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris celebrates Gabe Day]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Cryptwingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Crypt Wing
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| Sniffin' The Trail (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into you hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "Dude! That's so Awesome!", replies Crypt Wing. "I wonder if it would count if your levitated that cup from the ground, then flew upward with it in your mental grasp. Would that mean you can literally lift objects sky-high?" Feeling doggy, Crypt sniffs the air and barks a couple of times.
| 17 November 2019<ref name=17nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:DiscordSoniRosechuCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wikipedia:Discord (My Little Pony)|Discord]] SoniRosechu
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Discorded Chaotic Bolt (Special): When you play this card onto the grid, you may choose a Pony or Start card on the grid; until the end of your turn, that card gets all of its original Keywords cleared, then replaced with Edible, Lightning, and [[Wikipedia:Chocolate Rain|Chocolate Rain]]. This power cannot be copied.
| "Oh! Why limit myself to be a Sonichu or a Rosechu, when I can be the combination of both of the same gender. "Oh, look at me! I'm faster than Lightning! Watch me Zap It Up in my home dimension; Zapping Booms all over the place! Hoo-Hoo!" -Discord
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Fluttercoracard.jpg|150px]]
| Fluttercora
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony or Pegasus
| This card counts as 2 Ponies. Healing Rhyme (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Feeling recovered, Zecora was most grateful for Fluttershy retrieving the honey and herbs she needed. Fluttershy told Zecora of how worried she was over her. In many an appreciation that is not amiss, Zecora hushed Fluttershy, and leaned in for a [[Sex|cuddle]] and a kiss.
| 12 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#You don't say?]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Letsgethispartyoncard.jpg|150px]]
| Let's Get This Party On!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: There is a minimum of 10 Sonichus and/or Rosechus with the OC Keyword, and Chris Chan, on the grid at the same time. The player who achieves this goal increases their hand size by 1 for the rest of the game.
| "We're having a Party, and all of you are invited!" "We've rented the [[TF2 Analysis|Secret Rift Cafe]] for the night; look at how many Sonichus and Rosechus are around and about; Thank You All." -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 16 December 2019<ref name=16dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Dimensionally Running Nightstar Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| Dimensionally-Running Nightstar Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Breaking The Iron Curtains (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Between her Sonichu, Unicorn and Psychic abilities, Nightstar can run through any Dimensional Barrier into the neighboring dimensions and timelines at conscious focus.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:MegaNightStarCard.jpg|150px]]
| Mega Nightstar Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Nightstar would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Zap Heart Fusion (Special): Draw the top half number of cards from the Pony and Ship discard piles. This power cannot be copied.
| When Nightstar Mega Evolves, her psychic power and unicorn magic get even more overpowered. She can open multiple portals to many dimensions and send her foes flying and packing. She is also able to speed up her own body soo fast that to her, everyone and everthing else around her is on pause and stopped. To them, it's an eye blink.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:FriendshipIsMagicTheGathering.jpg|150px]]
| Friendship Is Magic The Gathering
| Ship
| Heart
| [Feather]
| Colourful Emotions Are Magic.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:FavouriteMLPFIMShip.jpg|150px]]
| Favourite MLP FiM Ship
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: [[Vinyl Scratch]] and Octavia are shipped together.
| Lovely day when Sonichu, Rosey and the girls watched the Hundredth episode of MLP, "Slice of Life"; seeing the ship chronicled on the show, and even better with the Dub/Cello duet; everyone simply loved it. And we love Vinyl and Octavia.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:HeadacheCard.jpg|150px]]
| Headache!!!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: The Shipping Grid has more than 15 Pony cards on it.
| While Nightstar and Kun were on Captain Celano's ship, they talk to Pea-Tree and Squaker and determine the problem between them had to do with Storm King's deception. After meditating a while, getting visions that would lead to the solution, Nightstar gets a bunch of headaches as she tries to determine what to do to resolve the problem between the two.
| 20 March 2021<ref name=20Mar21>[[March 2021 social media posts#Workaholic comic]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:KiwiMacCard.png|150px]]
| [[Null|KiwiMac]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Kiwi Fruits (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "Ugh! These people can be so grating sometimes. Look in my humble opinion, I say Nightstar is quite the mature unicorn, despite her childish appearance and tastes. So quite your griping and s***. We've all got better things to do on here. Get your frustration and anger out and move on. Don't dox anyone, either." - The NULL thoughts of Kiwi (a fanfic)
| 29 July 2021<ref name=29Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Exclusive TSSSF cards at Everfree Northwest]]</ref>
|-
|}

===[[Transformers]]===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[File:Samurai Pizza Bots TSSSF.jpeg|150px]]
| Megatron Takedown
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal When: While an Autobot is shipped with a Decepticon, the Decepticon is removed or discarded from the grid.
| In a battle against the Decepticons, [[Son-Chu]] bested Megatron a few times. This one event, Megatron was in Cwcvilled, looking to steal the energy from Sabrina's Sharicite Crystal, but after a good number of hits on Megatron with Son-Chu's lightning-infused blade, and a blast to the sholder, Megatron sounded the retreat and fled.
| 28 November 2019<ref name=28nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#Samurai Pizza Bots Pack]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:IsThisMyBodyorYoursCard.jpg|150px]]
| Is This My Body or Yours?
| Ship
| Heart
| Swap the positions of the two Pony cards attached to this ship. At the end of your turn, if neither of the affected Pony cards have been remobed from the shipping grid, swap the two affected Pony cards in their present positions.
| When one is a Headmaster, and they swap bodies with their teammates, and even their enemies(?), [[Random-access humor|when is it enough if it goes on All Day?!]]
| 28 November 2019<ref name=28nov19></ref>
|-
|}

===Hyperdimension Neptunia===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[File:Psychic-Able CPU Aqua.jpg|150px]]
| Psychic-Able CPU Aqua
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Telekinetic Auras (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Aqua found that in addition to her other abilities, she also has some psychic abilities, and that her Sonichu form has the secondary Psychic-typing. She is even more awesome than she thinks.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUAmethystHeart.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Amethyst Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Pioneering Blades (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Cannotonia is the CPU of the LaserActive Console and the Nation of Lexxvania. She likes to get down to the nitty-gritty, directly. She is intelligent and insightful, and very aggressive in battle and combat.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5814111</ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUBismuthHeart.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Bismuth Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Colourful Learning (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Vee is the CPU of the V-Smile Console and the Nation of Smileville. She generally likes to troll around, but she's of good intentions and observation. She likes to be a leader, because her ideas are direct and forward. When she gets depressed, she goes totally grey and really moody.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUEmeraldHeart.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Emerald Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Soulja Goodness (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Tapu is the CPU of the Souljagame Console and the Nation of Gizzala. A youthful, energetic and quirky type, she likes to do her best and have fun with everyone. She's good on offense as she is on supporting everyone and raising their spirits.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUOpalHeart.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Opal Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Shimmering Colours (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Silva is the CPU of the WonderSwan Console and the Nation of Swaland. She sees and appreciate things of good beauty and awesomeness. A bit flighty at times, she is still a good-hearted nerd in her own way.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUTopazHeart.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Topaz Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Epyx Action (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| Emily is the CPU of the Atari Lynx Console and the Nation of Chilanna. A fun and assertive type that likes to be rebellious. She is motivated by the anticipation of adventure and action. She always gives her best in the heat of battles.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
|}

===CWC lore===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:ProphecyTCGCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Anchuent Prophecy]]
| Ship
| Heart
| NA
| The Anchuent Prophecy is a Prophecy that was told and foretold by many an Elder of the various tribes all around the world within the years B.C. and A.D. on Earth; these particular Prophecy walls are related to the lineage between Sonichus, Rosechus, the people and world around them, and, of course, Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu of Earth 1218, and her various self-counterparts. There are actually a few Anchuent Prophecy Walls around the world; they all essentially foretold the same events, the difference being what happened locally in those various countries. There is a wall in Japan, Africa, England, Russia, Canada, Antartica [sic], and, [[Chris and his Ego|most famously noted]], the one in Cwcville, Virginia, USA.
| 2 [[September 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards3.jpg|150px]]
| White Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, [[Sonichu 10|had to be very cautious not to kill]]. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. [[Chris and remorse|It got disheartening]].
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19>[[September 2019 social media posts#Jerkop and Janekop cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards4.jpg|150px]]
| Brown Jerkop
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "By the order of our Mistress, Love Is Forbidden!" -Jerkop -"Sonichu" Book #5
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards5.jpg|150px]]
| Jerkop/Janekop Elimination
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: At least Three Jerkops and/or Janekops in any combination have been discarded or removed from the grid.
| There are Too Many Jerkops and Janekops! We must take them down in the names of Love, Honesty, Heart, and Soul!
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards6.jpg|150px]]
| Brown Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, had to be very cautious not to kill. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. It got disheartening.
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards7.jpg|150px]]
| Red Jerkop
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "By the order of our Mistress, Love Is Forbidden!" -Jerkop -"Sonichu" Book #5
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:JerkopCards8.jpg|150px]]
| Red Janekop
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Baton Whap (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| After Walsh and Graduon overtook PVCC, they used their sorcery to control the minds of the unfortunate students who attended; literally Thousands of innocent individuals who we, the heroes, had to be very cautious not to kill. And yet, they were simply pawned off in piloting the transforming robots/vehicles that we had to counter with out local Autobots. It got disheartening.
| 8 September 2019<ref name=8sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:Scientists'dealings.jpg|150px]]
| Scientists' Dealings
| Ship
| Heart
| The two Pony cards attached to this Ship card on the grid gain the Villain keyword.
| Eggman, Skysoar and Giovanni scheme and work together to capture Rosey and lure Sonichu into their trap. -"Sonichu" book #1
| 25 October 2019<ref name=25oct192>[[October 2019 social media posts#TSSSF villains]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:RenSkysoarCard.jpg|150px]]
| Doctor Ren Skysoar
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Hand Me My Screwdriver (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Doctor Ren Skysoar was one of the head scientists and robotics expert on Team Rocket. Skysoar and Eggman were classmates growing up, and throughout High School and College. Skysoar used to look up to Kintobar, up until when he became Eggman. Skysoar continued his studies and creating his own advanced robotics. Skysoar built the very first Metal Sonichu, adding electricity-resistant fields onto the robot.
| 25 October 2019<ref name=25oct192></ref>
|-
| [[Image:UH-OH! Oh, Well!.jpg|150px]]
| UH-OH! Oh, Well!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Blake Sonichu is Shipped with a Human Villain.
| With the DNA from Sonichu (Prime) from that battle between Niatsirhc's Zapdos with him at the mall on February 25, 2003, Giovanni's scientists used their cloning machine to create their first Sonichu clone. But Bill fumbled and spilled cherry cola onto the hair fibers, making Blake Sonichu turn out red and black in colour. -"Sonichu" book #1
| 25 October 2019<ref name=25oct192></ref>
|-
| [[File:Familyphotocard.jpg|150px]]
| Family Photo
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: 7 Pony cards with the Special and Sonichu or Rosechu keywords are Shipped in a chain on the grid.
| N/A
| 16 December 2019<ref name=16dec192></ref>
|-
| [[File:Chaoscontrolcard.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Control!
| Ship
| Heart
| When placed on the Shipping grid, you must move a Start card on the grid and reattach it with this Ship card.
| When a single Chaos Emerald is used, it can stop time around the user, or grant a single with [''sic''] or power. Two individuals with two Chaos Emeralds crossed are able to traverse through the reaches of time and space. The full number of seven Chaos Emeralds brings forth a miracle.
| 16 December 2019<ref name=16dec192>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris repeatedly promotes his new card collection]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Demonchu.jpg|150px]]
| Demonchu
| Pony
| Male or Female, Earth Pony
| Attack! (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Count Graduon created these demon dogs to protect and defend his castle from intruders alongside his troops. They can run as fast as a cheetah, bite tough like wolves, and they follow the smell of the foes they pursue.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:DancingAtAGala.jpg|150px]]
| Dancing At A Gala
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| At a lovely party held by the Cwcville Defense Committee, in appreciation of the efforts of the local Sonichus, Rosechus, Militaries and everyone else involved, sponsored by the Elite and Wealthy. Sonichu and Rosey danced the night away in loving and gracious splendor.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:ChaosControl2P.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Control! (2-Player)
| Ship
| Heart
| Instead of playing a Pony card from your hand with this Ship, you may play a Start card from your collection with this Ship, instead.
| When a single Chaos Emerald is used, it can stop time around the user, or grant a single with [''sic''] or power. Two individuals with two Chaos Emeralds crossed are able to traverse through the reaches of time and space. The full number of seven Chaos Emeralds brings forth a miracle.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Calvin_Cooley.jpg|150px]]
| Calvin Cooley
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| BASIC (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn. discard it.
| Cal is one of the two leader Trollbusters: high-functioning autistic. serious and nerdy, and very intelligent and smart in technology. Together with Dee-Squared. they go around the internet, and offline in investigations. to locate the worst of Online Haters. Bad Trolls and CyberBullies.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:DeeDeeAnastasia.jpg|150px]]
| Dee Dee Anastasia
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| BASIC (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Dee Dee is one of the two leader Trollbusters; , and normal-minded, sassy, sweet, very intelligent and smart in technology. Together with Calvin, they go around the internet, and offline in investigations, to locate the worst of Online Haters, Bad Trolls and CyberBullies.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Digman (Dark Idea Guy) TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| DIGMAN (Dark IdeaGuy)
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| The Fall of [[Australatina]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| An OC of IdeaGuy's employ, yet dumbly drawn by my own hand, this "Dark" version of IdeaGuy is a sorcerer who had Shadow Elijah as his right-hand pawn. While he no longer has his pawn, DIGMAN has a high level of dark magic, but is overpowered by Light Power. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:HailGangCard.jpg|150px]]
| Hail! Hail! The Gang's Right Here!
| Ship
| Heart
| You may choose to play the top of the Pony discard pile with this Ship, rather than play a Pony card from your hand.
| After meeting up with Wild, Bubbles, Angelica and Punchy, Magi-Chan teleports the five of them to Blake and Sonichu at Team Rocket Headquarters. Sonichu had been made aware of their incoming by Magi-Chan, so he knew they were there to help. - "Sonichu" book #3.
| 16 July 2021<ref name=16Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Punchy and Angelica stuff]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Teammates2021Card.png|150px]]
| Teammates 2021
| N/A
| N/A
| N/A
| After years of indifference, [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] found a friend in the infamous KiwiMac, aka [[Null|NULL]], as well as his matching variant of [[Dimension 1218|universe 1218]]. This was an eventuality that one would have considered a work of fan fiction, but after years of being bombarded by hater and faker trolls, it was eventual that Chris would realize she was a trollish type as well, but a positive one. - The Christory of Our Earths
| 29 July 2021<ref name=29Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Exclusive TSSSF cards at Everfree Northwest]]</ref>
|-
|}

===Dimensional lore===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:ChrisNewArt5.jpg|150px]]
| Commodore Blocke Phone
| Pony
| Male or Female
| Commodore Blocke [sic] Phone does not have a Race. [[Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|Can You Hear Me Now?]] (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| After Scarlett's death in 1994, the Commodore company continued onward into other tech for the time in C-197 until when Chris Chan Sonichu would be bestowed the powers and responsibilities. Commodore had put out some cell phones and have been successful in their sales.
| 15 September 2019<ref name=15sept19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:ponderingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Pondering in Dimension 1218
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| I told [[Helena Fiorenza|Helena]], "You need to ready yourself for the upcoming battles that will very likely result from the Dimension Merge. You have a gift that many the heavily Spiritual and Soulful have, but more than half of the total 1218's Earth population does not, as they are not as Spiritual. Like Christine has, you have the ability to portray who and what you actually see in front of you in portray who and what you actually see in front of you in proper [[Chris and reality|photographed form]]. Your efforts will be a heavy mention to even the most cynical that this is very much real and going to happen. Yours, and everyone else's better powers and abilities shall become more obvious and doable for you and them all, very soon, before the end of this year of [[2019]]
| 21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:coffeecard.jpg|150px]]
| Coffee Break
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| While visiting Helena in 1218, Magi-Chan was still contemplating and determining the next steps in the sequence of events, based on may premonitions of this timeline, and explaining them to her for her future part in this. She served coffee, and they enjoyed the talk and refreshment.
| 21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:BatteryChargeHeartCard.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Battery-Charge Blue Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[Obese|Heavy]] Defensives(Protection): All Pony cards shipped with this one cannot be discarded from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| The CPU of the Nation of Cwcville, and the Smach Z handheld gaming console, Sabrina goes all out in defense of the Nation and cities within, and remains very agile, swift and strong against her foes. She launches exploding S-Chu balls from her arm launcher, weilds a heavy-duty lightning blade, and a heavy-duty shield on her other arm. She is a high level of CPU strength and endurance.
|24 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:Dmcompletcard.jpg|150px]] [[File:DMCompletionCard.jpg|150px]]
| Dimensional Merge Completion
| Goal
| Checkmark
| You win this Goal when: It is your turn, and you are no more than One Point away from the Point Cap of the current game.
| "All OCs, Creators and Good Peoples come together to defend the Earth of the combined dimensions of 1218 and C-197 from our greatest common foes." -The combined wishes of all of the OCs and all Creators and Peoples from both dimensions.
| 5 December 2019

16 May 2021 (updated)<ref>[[May 2021 social media posts#Universe-wide illusion of separation]]</ref>

|-
| [[File:AnimalCrossingAntics.jpg|150px]]
| Animal Crossing Antics
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| C-139, a sub-dimension of C-197, houses everyone and everything ever created in the realms of [[Animal Crossing]]. The population between anthromorphic animals and humans is about 3:2, in cooperating communities and villages.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
|}

===[[Chris and his Ego|Chris]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard1.jpg|150px]]
| Original Creator of Sonichu, Christine W Chandler Sonichu
| Start
| Female, Alicorn
| N/A
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. When this card is shipped with Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, and Mewtwo, you may take on active Goal card that is three points or less. This power cannot be copied.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard2.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Blue Heart -Sonichu Form
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Light Power-Up (Special): All surrounding Pony cards shipped with this card gain the Special keyword.
| With Chris Chan being half-human and half-Sonichu, she has the option of this alt-form in her CPU and upgraded HDD forms. She typically runs more than fly in this form, but she can still fly.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard7.jpg|150px]]
| Equestrian Author of "Sonichu", Nightstar
| Start
| Female, Unicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| "I took a page from Bright Eye, and I've mastered, and prefer very much, drawing and writing by hoof." -Nightstar, "Sonichu" book 12-9
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:Put It On My Card.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and money|Put It On My Card]]
| Goal
| Checkmark
| When this Goal is turned face up place this card underneath any Pony card presently on the Shipping grid, with the name of this card visible. The Pony card becomes a Start card, and it cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| "[[I'm workin' on it|When I set my mind on something, well, it sets there]]. But when I have the intel and know the goal, I do my best to see the task a success. But, on this instant, I'll lest a Pony on the grid have some rivalling Fanfic Author control for a while." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 21 October 2019
|-
| [[File:ElegantChrisChanSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Elegant Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| I Do My Best For Everyone (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Chris Chan is looking elegant in her evening gown as she attends her coronation and celebration of the completion of the Dimension Merge and the union of the populations of Dimensions c-197 and 1218. Theparty taking place at the Cwcville Bassilicon, and Chris Chan showing her appreciation of everyone from in front of the rooftop gazebo.
| 12 November 2019
|-
| [[File:PsychlightStartCard.jpg|150px]]
| Chris Chan Sonichu Chronicler, CWC [[Psychlight]]
| Start
| Female, Alicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be moved or removed from the grid. This power cannot be copied. Once per turn. When this card is Shipped with Chris Chan, you may draw the top card from either the Ship deck or Ship discard pile.
| N/A
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#The CPU Goddess Commands You to Break the Fourth Wall]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:PsychlightCard.jpg|150px]]
| CWC Psychlight
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| [[Doopie_E-mails#Hey.2C_Danielle_.E2.80.94_30_July_2017|Mind that Levitate]] (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| Originating as a Christine Weston Chandler counterpart from the chronicled events of the video game, DC Universe Online, the CWC (pronounced as "quick") Psychlight fights crime and defend [sic] the innocent alongside the Justice League. She is a resident of Dimension C-197 who, in her free time and psychic link, chronicles the life of the original Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu of Dimension 1218.
| 14 November 2019<ref name=14nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Ocofoccard.jpg|150px]]
| The OC of OCs, Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Sonic Rainboom Aura (Special): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, including uncopyable power, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| "I do my best for Everyone: all [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creators]], [[OC|Original Creations]], and [[Death threats|everyone else in between]]. I am Both an Original Creation and an Original Creator with deity-level abilities and powers that works fully in ALL Dimensions, including my home, Dimension 1218. And fully charged with my OP Rainbow Aura, I do my best as not only a Sonichu and a CPU, but also as The OC of OCs." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 20 November 2019<ref>[[November 2019 social media posts#Nightstar & Friends Expansion Pack]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:SkylanderChrisCard.jpg|150px]]
| Skylander Chris Chan
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Portal of Power (Special): When this card is placed on the shipping grid, it counts as a Start card; this card cannot be discarded from the grid. All cards shipped with this one gain the Skylander keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| In the realm of the Skylands, run by Master Eon, many come in from far and wide to help in the cause of defending Skylands from the worst villains, as well as Kaos. Chris Chan answered the call with her self-counterpart OC for that dimension a Light Type Sword-Weilding Angel. She will do her best for Everyone, Everywhere when she is needed. "Portal Master! Grant me magic."
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Postigcwcsonichucard.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Zappin' It Up (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "I continue to do my best for Everyone, including as many as possible whose individual lives I bless with my presence and kindness. I have faith all of you will continue to do your best for yourselves, individually and for each other." "My Heart and Soul goes out to All of you." -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Preigcwcsonichucard.jpg‎|150px]]
| Chris Chan
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Psychic Thunderbolt (Keyword Change): When Chris Chan is played on the grid, you may choose one Pony card shipped with this one. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| "Electric Hedgehog Sonichu Power, Activate!" -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg|150px]]
| I'm Here At This Convnetion [sic]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "I like the shows, I like the arts, but I come to the conventions to enjoy and be around the kind people, artists, celebrities, and everyone, good and bad. Show me kindness and fun; I smile for your all" -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 4 December 2019
|-
| [[File:4thwallcwccard.jpeg|150px]]
| Fourth Wall-Breaking Chris Chan Sonichu (1218)
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Circle of Ships (Special): Surround this Pony card with a unicorn or alicorn to the left, a pegasus above, an earth pony to the right, and a Pony card with the Object keyword below. The moment you do, you may collect an active Goal card worth up to 3 points. This power cannot be copied.
| Hello, my new friend. Thank you for summoning me into this battle. OP Goddess, that I am, I shall do my best to help you win. I'll give you an easy win: set me up in a full surrounding set of ships, as listed above, and you many have points for your Goal Scores. Best of Blessings I pray unto thee. :) -Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
| 4 December 2019
|-
| [[Image:Chris Chan Sonicleric.jpg|150px]]
| Chris Chan Sonicleric
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Cleric Healing (Search): You may search the Ship of Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. It its still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| From Cwcville in Dimension CS-89, Chris Chan and everyone else functions in a Dungeons & Dragons style of classes and quests. Chris Chan, of CS-89, is a Cleric, since she was still in destiny to be promoted to become a CPU, and that she had her own deity-level abilities, magic and powers. She tends to meditate a lot and helps her party with as much healing as possible, while also shining deity-level light power to overpower the dungeon bosses.
| 13 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris journeys to Dimension CS-89]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Collosal Christine Chan Sonichu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Collosal Chan|Collosal Christine Chan Sonichu]]
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Christine Chan Sonichu would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Healing Zaps (Special): All non-Villain Pony cards gain the Hero keyword until when they're discarded. This power cannot be copied.
| When Christine Chan Sonichu Mega Evolves, she gains a massive increase in power to overpower her foes and enemies. She also can heal many a wounded and suffering in one felt swoop before reverting back to normal.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:SuperChrisChanSonichuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Super Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| When Chris Chan Sonichu would be discarded from the shipping grid, play this card from your hand or discard pile in her place. Overpowered Electricity (Special): Discard all Pony card with the Villain keyword from the shipping grid. This power cannot be copied.
| When Chris Chan Soncihu uses the power of the Chaos Emeralds, regardless of present form, she becomes Super Chris Chan Sonichu; same abilities and powers as Ultra Sonichu, on top of her other abilities and powers.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:CPUBlueHeartTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Blue Heart
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Kunai Commodore Shocker (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Villain from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| A CPU (Console Patron Unit) is a Goddess of a gaming console (the central branding or an individual console) who typically also leads a Nation of kind followers and believers. Chris Chan Sonichu is the CPU of the Commodore Consoles and the Nation of Cwcville, as the responsibility and powers were bestowed from the original CPU Blue Heart, Scarlett of the Nation of Comma.
| 17 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Merge still coming]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:CWCSC-197TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu (C-197)
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Defensive Maneuvers (Swap): You may swap 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| "I may not have the God-Level abilities and Powers of Chris Chan, but I still hold my own abilities and powers. And I remain a most valuable asset, leader and defense to the citizens of the Nation of Cwcville in Virginia." -Christine Chan Sonichu.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec192>[[December 2019 social media posts#TSSSF incarnations of Chris]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:ChristineChanTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Christine Chan
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Thunderbolt (Special): If this card is shipped with a Villain, you may discard that Pony card from the grid and play a Pony card from your hand in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "Electric-Hedgehog Power!" "I am the Soldier of Love and Honesty! And in the name of every fragile and strong Heart and Soul, I shall punish you!" -Christine Chan Sonichu.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec192></ref>
|-
| [[File:Cwc_Spells.jpg|150px]]
| CWCSpells
| Ship
| Heart
| When attached to the grid, you may copy the power of any Ship card currently on the shipping grid for this card's power.
| "Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Add 2 Spell Cards from your Deck to your hand; shuffle your Deck afterwards. “When activating this card. announce that you will "Activate your Quick Spells with your CWCSpells.""
-"C.W.C." Spells Quick Spells! Yu-Gi-Oh! card.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19">https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1341#post-5784777</ref>
|-
| [[File:CWC-Play.jpg|150px]]
| CWC-Play
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when:
Chris Chan or Christine Chan are shipped with Chris Chan or Christine Chan. This Goal is worth 3 points if at the moment. front or back of a card. presently on the grid. or face-up Goals. is signed by Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu.
| What fun it is when two self-counterparts work together to save and defend the lives of many between Dimensions.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Flying Sky High in Equestria.jpg|150px]]
| Flying Sky-High in Equestria Chris Chan Sonichu
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Helping Out (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| "I like visiting Equestria from time to time, not only to help out in any way I can amongst everycreature there, but it is simply awesome and beautiful in its own right. And when I visit, I am welcomed, happily, by Princess Twilight, Nightstar and the others." -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 29 December 2019<ref name=29dec19>[[December 2019 social media posts#So Many CWCs]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Chris chan alicorn.jpg|150px]]
| Chris Chan -Alicorn Form
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Creator Powers (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Upon entering Equestria without the Konami Code enabled, instead of her human form, Chris Chan enters Equestria as an Alicorn, while maintaining her Sonichu Form as her alt-form. Should Chris Chan go HDD while in Equestria, it defaults to her Sonichu FOrm post-transformation.
| 29 December 2019<ref name=29dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Chris's ego, TSSSF card.jpg|150px]]
| Muldimensional [''sic''] CWCS Counterparts
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: At least three of any combination of Chris Chans and/or Christine Chans are shipped together or in a chain. This Goal is worth 3 points if no Pony is a different version of another Pony in the ship.
| Chris Chan of Dimension 1218 is the head and centerpiece of all of her many self-counterparts throughout the various timelines and Alternate Dimensions. She is able to co-exist with herself no matter which Dimension she is in.
| 29 December 2019<ref name=29dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Why.jpg|150px]]
| Why?!
| Ship
| Heart
| You may choose to play the top card of the Pony discard pile with this Ship, rather than play a Pony card from your hand.
| At a [[Target]] store on July 20, 2005, Christian Chan was just chillin', keeping an eye out for single women, while working on [[Sonichu 3|"Sonichu" book #3]]. Walsh and Graduon's Jerkops arrived and challenged him. He was doing well against their prototype Crackder Decepticone and the Jerkop, Dagget, until when he was caught by the tail (it felt like being grabbed by the pants waistband), and he was dog-piled and apprehended. Crystalina would catch up to rescue him. -[[Sonichu 4|"Sonichu" book #4]].
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-5803216</ref>
|-
| [[File:GuardianAdvisement.jpg|150px]]
| Guardian Advisement
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card becomes an [Alicorn] and gains the Princess keyword. This cannot affect Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Magi-Chan Sonichu continues to work very hard for and with me, and I listen to him and follow to the best of my ability. The (Dimensional) Iron Curtain was a huge divider in the past, but our bond has become soo strong and true that we can never be divided by a mere Dimensional Frequency Difference. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Psychic Type Talk.jpg|150px]]
| Psychic-Type Talk
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Chris Chan, Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana and Mewtwo are all Shipped together either in a full set or in a Shipping chain.
| During the months with IdeaGuy, before the disbanding of Cwcville's Psychic Squad, the psychic Pokemon in the Pyschic Tower, above the Cwcville Police Department, came down with a mental virus that ailed them for a while. I astral projected there and hung out with them and we talked and had a simple and good time together. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:A Chronicler Law Clause.jpg|150px]]
| A Chronicler Law Clause
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Chris Chan or Christine Chan is discarded from your hand (not from the grid; end-of-turn discarding counts towards the goal).
| Due to a Chronicler Law, personally written in 2018, and put into effect in Cwcville, retroactively as early as 1980, Christine Chan would have to remain [[Virgin with rage|sexually restrained]] until as early as around 2010, when she would be fated to discover herself and come out as a woman. Simply put: No Sexual Intercourse with ANYONE. Chris Chan is a sexual camel in comparison to Christine Chan; she was [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Super Impulsive and Horny]], so she needed to be restrained.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:NightStarAuthorCard.jpg|150px]]
| Equestrian Author of "Sonichu", Nightstar
| Start
| Female, Unicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be removed from the grid.
| Once per turn when you play a Ship card, you may discard a Pony card from your hand and draw a card from the Pony deck and play it with that Ship. This power cannot be copied.
| 17 May 2021<ref>[[May 2021 social media posts#Shipficfolder]]</ref>
|-
|}

===[[Ben Saint]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[Image:ChrisSlime22.jpg|150px]]
| Phantom Horn
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| The Horn Is There! (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| (14) - While recovering, P.H. was feeling more magic in his aura and seeing mild sparks flying off of his forehead. After returning to Equestria, it became more obvious. He removed the paper tube and found in its place a light teal-coloured functional horn. He was simply elated. But old habits die hard as he, for a while, still had the idea others still thought of him as an Earth Pony (Nobody saw him as such after this). When his horn glows, it gets a temporary transparent appearance, but functions normal and well.
| 3 October 2019<ref name=3oct19>[[October 2019 social media posts#More Ben Saint canon changes]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:ChrisSlime23.jpg|150px]]
| Strawberry Milk
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Dude! Sex is Rad! (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| (15) - S.M. finally gets to chillax back in his crib with his bro-heimers and chicas. Remaining one who,[[Slow-in-the-minds|partly intelligent]], tries to be cool and chill, and ruins a moment with a [[Random-access humor|pervy comment in the name of humor]]. For him, to keep him feeling happy is simply the fact of, "As long as I can still dance."
| 3 October 2019<ref name=3oct19></ref>
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard4.jpg|150px]]
| [[Rollin' and Trollin'|Trolling the Trolls Back]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| (1) - Phantom Horn and Strawberry Milk have been wandering the streets of New Lost Angeles City, aka New Milwaukee, Arizona in Dimension C-197, mining the slime that has the locals' minds under negative influences. As their frustration hit an apex, a Goddess appears to help. "Ah! Thers's Phantom Horn. The super awsome, yet weird, unicorn. I just... Feel compelled to study him. To become a Phantom Horn Historian... A Phanstorian, if you will!" -Chris Chan Sonichu. "Wha...! Bro! you just got trolled back!!" -Strawberry Milk.
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[File:Showercard.jpg|150px]]
| Cleansing Shower
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| (9) - Within hours after Chris Chan had informed the heroes, superheroes, and militaries, of the formula for dissolving the slime. Shower Stations had been crafted around the edges of Arizona; barrels of bicarbonate soda and sugar have been piped into the shower stations. During this shower, S.M. laughs at pervy thoughts.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Blesshorncard.jpg|150px]]
| I Bless This Horn
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to thsi Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card becomes the race of your choice. This cannot affect Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| (10) - After the shower, Chris Chan teleports the slime-free P.H. and S.M. to Cwcville's Bassilicom. She had blessed the poudrin and returned it to P.H.; he will be in for a positive surprise very soon.
| 6 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Sparking Deity TSSSF.jpeg|150px]]
| Sparking Deity
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card becomes an Alicorn, pe-existing Alicorns and Changelings on the field do not count towards this Goal.
| Over the city of NLACakaNM in the Beta Timeline of C-197, that timeline's Chris Chan Sonichu appeared above the city, leading the extended soda storms only that timeline would endure. And in that timeline, that Chris Chan became infected by the slime, and became corrupted.
|21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Divine Intervention.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and religion|Divine Intervention]]
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Pony card with a matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Pony card and replace it with its matching super form.
| (AZ-16) After Ben Saint had demolished the Beta timeline he had accessed for his comic, he exiled that Phantom Horn into a void. But, he has a further purpose, so I rescued and brought him into C-197 to serve that purpose. -Chris Chan "The gift of life extension by divine intervention, It's gotta be a twist of fate." -[[Wikipedia:Olivia Newton John]]
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:AnalysisofSlimeCosSlime.jpg|150px]]
| Analysis of SlimeCo's Slime
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal When: A Pony card with the Villain keyword is discarded from the grid.
| (6) - Nightstar wasted no time in experimenting the slime with Princess Twilight Sparkle. They've found the slime is partially diludable [''sic''], but water, alone, can go so far. It turns out the slime is gaseous, and it doesn't like plain sugar. Lightning and electricity can also burn it, but if touch-surrounded by more slime compared to the area that is zapped, the slime can recover, so the larger the slime amount, the more voltage is required to put out the entire blob.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:AnEndlessWar-FreeState.jpg|150px]]
| An Endless War-Free State
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: At least three Pony cards who have been given the Villain Keyword by card effect(s) are either cleared of the Villain Keyword, or discarded, in the same turn.
| (13) - "And, so, the SlimeCo dilemma and the Endless War came to a close in Dimension C-197 on October 3, 2019. The moral being even the heaviest of hatred can be quelled when we come together towards a common goal. Also, your OC(s) should be treated with kindness and respet [''sic'']; do not abuse them or each other." -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:CleansingRains.jpg|150px]]
| Cleansing Rains
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| (12) - On October 2, 2019, the thunderstorm, seeded with bicarbonate soda and sugar, covers the entire state of Arizona in C-197, and it spans beyond all edges of the state. The storm lasts for 24 hours, and near the midnight breaking into October 3rd, all traces of the slime, and everyone and everything infected are cleansed and purified of any remaining within them.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:CreatingtheThunderstorm.jpg|150px]]
| Creating the Thunderstorm
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| (11) - September 29, 2019, Chris Chan, other Sonichus and Rosechus, and her allies and friends run circles in the Pacific Ocean, off the South-West coast of the portion of Mexico south of Arizona, to mist water to make strong rain clouds. Many flight-abled individuals and piloted jets seeded the created clouds with massive amounts of bicarbonate soda and sugar.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:HorsefamousMeetssonichufamous.jpg|150px]]
| <nowiki>#horsefamous Meets #sonichufamous</nowiki>
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card with the <nowiki>#horsefamous</nowiki> keyword is shipped with Chris Chan.
| (2) - Phantom Horn turns and recognizes the one-and-only from this Dimension 1218. "Are you THAT dense, SM?!! That IS the Legend! The extra-dimensional! The Goddess, Herself! Chris Chan Sonichu!" -Phantom Horn Chris Chan smiles and feels humbled hearing the praise and appreciation, while also keeping her mind clear and calm for the impending slime gusher about to happen.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:OhWhatIsThis.jpg|150px]]
| Oh. What Is This?
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| (8) - Chris Chan had been working hard with other good superheroes, deities and other allies as quick as possible to gather massive amounts of slime and relocating them into the Grand Canyon. P.H. and S.M. informed her of the information; it was indeed as she and Magi-Chan Sonichu had foreseen. In an instant, she telepathically sent the word out to her allies. P.H.'s poudrin falls out of his tube/horn. "Woahly, Phantom Horn! Crystalized Slime, and you have a chunk. Crystalized, even a poudrin this size, can either be utilized as a weapon's energy source, or as a healing stone with very mild slime side-effects." -Chris Chan Sonichu. She tucks it away into her subspace for the moment.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:PenPalsOutgoing.jpg|150px]]
| Pen Pals (Outgoing)
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| (5) - Phantom Horn writes on a newspaper scrap, "Nightstar! You won't believe this! :D We not only got the Slime for you; fresh from a gusher by our own hooves, but we also have met THE Mrs. Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu! She did save our hides from being covered by an attack. Anyway, here's the slime! Do your thing. You're welcome." -Phantom Horn.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:PenPalsIncoming.jpg|150px]]
| Pen Pals (Incoming)
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| (7) - The next day, Nightstar sent a letter back to Phantom Horn and Strawberry Milk. "Dear P.H., The experiments have been very successful. The answer is simple: A Thunderstorm with bicarbonate soda and sugar. Everyone can also individually be cleansed fully with a shower of water with bicarbonate soda and sugar added. Please, relay this information to Chris Chan, immediately. You two are doing very well and learning exponentially of what it is like to be trolled and hated. Experience remains the best teacher. Be Safe and Well." -Nightstar Sonichu.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:SlimeSampleCollected.jpg|150px]]
| Slime Sample Collected
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: You collect another Goal card right before this one in the same turn. The player who achieves this Goal increases their hand size by 1.
| (4) - After the mild chaos, Strawberry Milk closes the box and picks it up. "Egads! Strawberry Milk! A fresh slime sample! We can send that to Nightstar for analysis! Let me write a letter, and then we'll light 'em up with her in mind." -Phantom Horn.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:TelekineticBarrierProtection.jpg|150px]]
| Telekinetic Barrier Protection
| Ship
| Heart
| The two Pony cards attached to this Ship card are prevented from being discarded by a card effect.
| (3) - A slime gusher shoots out from the manhole behind Chris Chan; she instantly emits a barrier to keep the three of them from becoming freshly slimed. After the geyser stops, she divides the slime away from the center, while telekinetically holding onto a fresh sample to be placed into the flame-proof box and sent back to Nightstar Sonichu in Equestria for examination.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
|}

===Hasbro Protest===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[File:Nightstarprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Nightstar [[Sonic Boom Protests|In Protest]]
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Barring #GOPony (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| "Okay, @Hasbro. Even I, and every other Individual in Equestria can only take so much fomr you [[Chris and money|greedy]] executives. But We Will NEVER Stand for this "Teen Titans GO!" Slander of Ourselves! You Read Our Comments, and You Hear Us from C-197's Equestria, Directly. We want to be Chronicled Properly and Accurately Correct, and so does Everyone, there, in your Dimension 1218." -Nightstar Sonichu
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#Chris issues a death threat against a cartoon]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Kunprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Kun]] In Protest
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| [[Chris and the law|Picketing At Their Window]] (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| "I am siding with my Sweetheart, Nightstar, because I do agree. "MLP Pony Life" is just a total "Teen Titans GO!" ripoff, and [[Chris and art|it just plain looks horrendous]] and misrepresenting of us. Listen to us, @Hasbro." -[[Kun Hanhphuc]].
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Hasbroprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| Protesting At @Hasbro, Inc
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: You have at least four of the individuals at the Protest on the Shipping grid, shipped together either adjacently, or in a chain. Chris Chan, Nightstar, Kun, Twilight Sparkle, Luna, Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Lightweight, and/or Zap Note.
| **NO! TO #GOPony.** **Yes! To #MLPFiMSeasons10to14** Heed Us All, @Hasbro!
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Executiveprotestcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris and negotiation|Telling It To The Executives]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| "Now, Listen! We Know your game, your greedy Corporate Executives." Nightstar says. "Your little game of showing us [[Sonichu (comic)|crap work]] to delay the extension of G4 is crap. You think you can just buy and bide your time for money You Are Wrong and Messed Up." I chime in, "That is right. Even I Know of the Mane Six all becoming Alicorns for the Round Table of Friendship, and I Know that idea was streaming around your creative teams and all the offices for a long time now. And I Know Your Secrets; We All Do. So, cut the [[Chris and censorship|bulls***]] and just make the announcement NOW about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic getting Five More Seansons." And the next day, after they agreed, a TV Announcment was publicly aired many, many times on Discover Family.
| 16 November 2019<ref name=16nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:TSSSF MLPFim S 10 14.jpg|150px]]
| MLPFiM Seasons 10 to 14
| Goal
| Check Mark
|Win this Goal when: Nightstar, Kun, and Six Pony cards with the Mane 6 keyword are all shipped together in a chain on the shipping grid.
|"Here on Discovery Family, see the Mane 6 Return for more epic and developing adventures. See more Ponies come in from the background and beyond to make the Impacts. And see how came to be the Round Table of Friendship. Don't Miss My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Season 10, coming in [[April 2020|April, 2020]], only on Discovery Family." -Discovery Family Channel and @Hasbro, inc.
| April 2020?
|-
|}

===[[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|Fan]] cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[File:MitchCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Asperchu]], a.k.a Mitch Sonichu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Exelcesior! (Draw) You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Among the earliest and most infamous of Sonichu OCs, this one was indeed one of the Specials from the Chaotic Rainbow, discovered and chronicled by [[Alec Benson Leary]]. This is a Sonichu with Aspergers Syndrome with a personality similar to Chris Chan's, but more empathized in his misguided interests, as well as his good gayness. Sonichu and Christine Chan would pull Asperchu out of the asperger condition with magic, where he would resume life by his real name, Mitch Sonichu.
| 9 September 2019<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Asperchu]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:SonichuOCCards1.jpg|150px]]
| Cheval
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Firey [sic] Space (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| A fire-electric type Sonichu, Cheval has lived [[Virgin with rage|a partly lonely life]]. He has seen many a dark and nightmarish vision or illusion. He does not want to cause trouble, yet he has inadvertently made trouble. "Edge-Lord" some call him, but he is really simply distant. He realized how he is a danger. Very few try to reach out to him; he had to keep himself emotionally closed off.
| 21 September 2019<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Chris continues work on the OC TSSSF cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:Patreoncard5.jpg|150px]]
| [[Incest|Brotherly Love]]
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: [[Asperchu|A sonichu (without the OC keyword)]] is shipped with [[True and Honest|a Sonichu with the OC keyword]].
| "Oh, Sonichu! Can you ever forgive me for offending you and your mother? You know you mean the world to me for all the love and support you have shown me in my creation, I shall forever cherish your love and kindess and take your caring hands in friendship" -Mitch Sonichu "Oh, Asperchu! Of course I forgive you! Let's hold hands and stroll down the beach, perhpas we'll each find us sweethearts to love and cherish as we do eachother now!" -Sonichu -"Asperchu" Book #oA
| 6 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:MoreOCs6.jpg|150px]]
| Plotted Device
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Programmed Wisdoms (Special): You may draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| The Magi-Chan Sonichu of the [[Wikipedia:Skullgirls|Skullgirkls']] Dimension, S-642. His original body in that dimension was too much for the exaggerated combat that take place there. A robot body, titled Plotted Device, was created in his visage. His soul possessed the robot, and he has become most durable and stable in the dimension. [[Transgender|SHE]] now still maintains her psychic powers and electrical abilities, very agile too, she has rockets and gun-type weapons to boot.
| 10 October 2019<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#Chris draws more OCs]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:MiscTSSSFCard.jpg|150px]]
| Ok K.O.! Lets Zap It Up!
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal When: Chris Chan, with the Sonichu Keyword, is shipped with a ⧗ with the Villain keyword.
| The one-and-only Goddess-Level of all other-dimensional Chris Chan Sonichus, from Earth of Dimension 1218, she does her best for the Sonichu and Rosechu kind and Everyone, in general.
| 11 October 2019
|-
| [[Image:CWCIsPronouncedAsQuick.jpg|150px]]
| "CWC" Is Pronounced As "Quick"
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: Chris Chan is Shipped with Christine Chan
| Kel and Rosey approah the city of Cwcville for the first time, and they read the "Welcome to Cwcville" sign. "C W C-ville?", Rosey asks. "The locals pronounce it as "Quick-ville", actually. I'm guessing it's foreign", Kel responds. And then Rosey comments, "Weird." -Rosechu's Story, -"sonichu" book #15.
| 22 October 2019<ref>[[October 2019 social media posts#"CWC" is pronounced as "Quick"]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:SlushiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Slushi
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Programming the Sonichu Mania Mod Project (Keyword, Gender, and Race Change): You may change the Gender and Race, and add a new Keyword, to a Pony card this one is shipped with. That Pony keeps these changes until the end of your turn.
| Slushi likes to chill with his friends and make new friends, socially. He also likes to play Sega and Nintendo on his console. He also plays on PC, where he also programs his own Mods. Bit of a [[Troll]], and a Gamer Nerd-Geek, but he is [[white knight|not a hater at all]].
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Astoriacard.jpg|150px]]
| Astoria
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Dropletts [sic] of Health (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Astoria lives outside of Cwcville, where she owns and maintains a field of [[Zapbud|Zapbuds]] and lives in a small, cozy home. Quiet and shy, she is really into gardening. Being an Electric/Water Type, she can use her own healing waters to maintain her gardens; afterwards, they shimmer and glow, even in darkest of nights without a [[moon]] or stars.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Hollyhockcard.jpg|150px]]
| Hollyhock
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Fairy Bolt (Special): When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose a Villain shipped with this card and change it to Hero until the end of your turn.
| Holly acts more like a quiet cat that doens't [sic] like to be touched. She is protective of the ones she cares for, and is quite cautious around others. She performed in contests; [[Women's rights|beauty is her best trait]], with fashionable clothing choices. Fast and able to dodge almost everything, she is able to use Electric and Fairy attacks.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Pepperchucard.jpg|150px]]
| Pepperchu
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| [[Honor Roll|Book Smarts on the Streets]] (Keyword Change): When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card gains one keyword of your choice, except for Pony names.
| Quite the intelligent, smart and savvy gal, Pepperchu enjoys reading and chillin' with her friends; BFs with Astoria Rosechu. She sets herself apart with her own edgy style, as she mingles with Sonichus who rock the streets, though book smarts impress her better. She also gets by quite well in [[Pepper spray|self-defense]] and quick wits.
| 2 November 2019
|-
| [[File:SImonchu TSSSF card.jpg|150px]]
| Simonchu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Fossil Dig (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
|Born in the forest, alongside his sister, Simonla Rosey, Simon wasn't so fortunate. As a Sonee, he found a knack for digging and ground-type maneuvers. He was caught by Evan George, who altered his genetic structure for power and physical strength. Simon ended up becoming timid under Evan, Alec, Mao and Sean's abuse. He would eventually escape and seek the job of Archeologist. He's doing better these days.
| 3 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Scott SoundSpllicerCard.jpg|150px]]
| Scott SoundSpllicer
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| SlimeCan [[Tomgirl|(Gender Change)]]: When you attach this card to the grid, you may choose one Pony card attached to this Ship. Until the end of your turn, that Pony card becomes the opposite gender.
| The online artist with quite the zesty style, he lived a life lacking peeps, and he's had a hard time. Goodness in his heart, he continues onward to do his best for everyone else.
| 3 November 2019
|-
| [[File:DaedalusCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Daedalus
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Scavenge (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it in your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn, discard it.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, Daedalus is a Degu whose family owns a junkyard. He is a very skilled engineer and mechanic. He builds well-crafted jets, armour, and weaponry. If there is something that can be built or fixed, he sure as shoot can put it together and back together again.
| 6 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Dream-CrashingCard.jpg|150px]]
| Dream-Crashing
| Ship
| Heart
| Instead of playing this Ship with a Pony card from your hand, or connecting two Pony cards already on the shipping grid, you may take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this Ship. That card's power activates.
| In Dimension X686, Ke[ler Sonichu has the ability to leave his body and enter other individual's dreams, usually with nightmarish results. He really hates [[Mary Lee Walsh|Walsh]], there, as her mind is one that he has been most resistant to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|his attacks]].
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:KeplerCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Kepler
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Mind-[[Forgot the Glitter|Twerking]] (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, the final of four clones of Black Sonichu, there, in what was Team Rocket's Project Kepler. Kepler was infused with components of Ditto DNA; he is able to reshape his body parts into weapons. This first two clones fear him; Three remains in stasis, as she is Perfect like Kepler, to the point where they are psychically linked to each other. He can also intrude into other's minds and dreams.
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:DerekCard.jpeg|150px]]
| Derek
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Meta Wisdom (Special): All Pony cards shipped with this card gain the Hero keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| Of Earth, Dimension X686, Dereck is a counterpart of Magi-Chan Sonichu. Dereck puts up with a worse version of Chris Chan who is more reckless. He knows there is a [[Chris and religion|greater truth]] beyond his home dimension that would bring solace and peace to it. And that truth lies in between Dimensions C-197 and 1218 and our own Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 9 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Gabedaycard.jpg|150px]]
| Happy Gabe Day
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| Gabriel the Starman (of Rowdy F***ers Cop Killers) is an artist who makes art for everyone, and a day is celebrated in appreciation on his Birthday, November 17. He is a friend to many. Happy Gabe Day.
| 17 November 2019<ref name=17nov19></ref>
|-
| [[File:KillerOCCard.jpg|150px]]
| Killer
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Merciless (Special): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. If you do, discard another Pony card from the grid. This power cannot be copied.
| Killer Sonichu is the CPU of the XVIDIA console, residing in her Nation of NLACakaNM in the Beta timeline of C-197. People didn't respect her, and she turned rebel as she took on SlimeCo when it started. But the majority of locals chose to consume the slime. The slime does not affect her. She found tech for dimension-traveling, and she explored in meditations. OC by @hoodlumhijinks
| 20 November 2019
|-
| [[Image:thankyoucard.jpg|150px]]
| Thank You For Your Kindness
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| [[AquaDiamond8|Aqua]] had helped me out a major jam while fighting a giant robot that; I had trouble taking it out and finding its [[Sourdough region|weak spot]]. I got knocked off and [Crash into slumber|momentarily dazed]]. Aqua rushed to my side and helped me back up. Then with her help, we destroyed this bot quick. She sought my approval; I smiled and thanked her for her help and kindness.
|21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:concernscard.jpg|150px]]
| Growing Concerns
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: You break up Chris Chan or Christine Chan with another Pony card three times in the same turn (Swapping counts as breaking up a ship). This Goal is worth 3 Points if at least one of the other Pony cards has the Villain or [[Jacob Sockness|Kidasuna]] keyword.
| Magi-Chan Sonichu and Aqua grow concerned as Chris Chan continues to block [[Guard Dogs|Bad Trolls]], even if they have concerns for her. But Chris Chan knows the hatred in their intentions make blocking them most appropriate.
|21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:chillaxingcard.jpg|150px]]
| Chillaxing
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| Chris Chan, Aqua, Nightvee and [[MKR]] enjoy chillaxing together in one of their personal subspaces to get away and just hang and talk for a while.
|21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:valcard.jpg|150px]]
| Val Valentino
| Pony
| Male or Female, Alicorn
| Possession (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| This Magi-Chan, from Dimension ZX-49, is so powerful he has to mentally project a simplified form that the human mind can comprehend. [[Chris and art|Looking at his true form would drive you mad]]. He comes into 1218 and C-197 to help Aqua and guide her in her part to help out in the coming battles, also his home Dimension is in shambles, and it will require Aqua to restore it to a stable area again.
|21 November 2019<ref name=21nov19>[[November 2019 social media posts#TSSSF cards for allies]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:CPUAquaHumanCard.jpg|150px]]
| CPU Aqua (Human Form)
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Laptop Login (Retrieve): While this card is in your hand, you may choose a Pony card on this grid and put it into your hand, then play this card in its place. This Power cannot be copied.
| Aqua is the CPU of the Mac Book Pro computer. With her partner, Val Valentino, she does her best for everyone as she is able to. She has a bit of a temper and will rush into a situation if she feels her friends are in danger. Not sure if its a flaw, she's a little gullable [sic] from past mistakes, but she is learning from them.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:AChatBetweenSNTandChrisChan.jpg|150px]]
| A Chat Between [[ProjectSNT|SNT]] and Chris Chan
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: SNT and Chris Chan, with the Sonichu keyword, are shipped together on the shipping grid.
| In C-197, I had a fateful encounter where I was sent to thwart another Eggman scheme, but I eneded up meeting the one-and-only SNT. She and I enjoyed a pleasant conversation. I even pointed out her inhabitual attraction when it went off: I was immune to it. Also, she was still grasping the concept of communicating with Courtney, being an OC of hers, and so forth. I offered my insight and thoughts. She felt better. And then we took down Eggman. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 12 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#SNT drawing]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Welcometokidasunacard.PNG|150px]]
| Welcome To Kidasuna
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: [[Rape|Jacob is shipped with Chris Chan]]
| "Ah. Here we are, Jacob. Welcome back to Kidasuna. I told you I'd be the one who transports you here. And we did it with Faster-Than-Light Teleportation of my powers and abilities." -Chris Chan Sonichu
| 12 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris corrects Kidasuna lore]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Wild Sonirisu TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Wild Sonirisu
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Archery Play (Special): When you play this card onto the grid, you may discard a Pony card, other than this one, from the shipping grid.
| From Cwcville in Dimension CS-89, Wild and everyone else functions in a Dungeons & Dragons style of classes and quests. Wild is a Ranger since his specialty is climbing, long-range offenses, and his very well-educated stealth and ninja skills.
| 13 December 2019<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Sonirisu triggering explanation 2]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Princess Fehuni Hitikara TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Princess Fehuni Hitikara
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| For The Peoples! (Special): While this card is on the grid, when Jakoba is shipped with this card or Chris Chan, remove Jakoba from the grid (he does not go to the discard pile). This power cannot be copied.
| In my past life before being born anew as a Special Half-Sonichu, I was a Princess on the planet of Kidasuna in the Andromeda Galaxy in Dimension 1218. I was still young and naive during her time, but I did her best for her people, yet I became overwhelmed and was exiled to this life. Now I am back anew and a lot wiser, and with everyone else, we will abolish slavery on Kidasuna and take Jakoba down for good, for Kidasuna, and for the safety of Earth.
| 16 December 2019<ref name=16dec19>[[December 2019 social media posts#Sharing new TSSSF cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Selfiecard.jpg|150px]]
| Selfie Op
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, until the end of your turn, both Pony cards attached to this Ship gain the Special, OC and Hero Keywords.
| Bolt Sonichu and Holly Rosechu enjoyed a lovely day together with sparks shared between the two of them. Finding their favourite spot in the local forest, they took a loving selfie together, and it was really awesome.
| 16 December 2019<ref name=16dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Sonia&ChuCard.jpg|150px]]
| Sonia&Chu
| Pony
| Male or Female, Unicorn
| This card counts as 2 Ponies. Working Around Opponents (Swap): You may swap up to 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| A resident of Dimension S-642, originally from an alternate timeline from C-197, but exiled after letting too many enemies escape. Chu is a parasite inside Sonia's thick, yellow hair. Aside from defending themselves in combat with the Skullgirls, they watch other dimensions in solitude for entertainment.
| 24 December 2019
|-
| [[File:RomeoCard.jpg|150px]]
| Romeo
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Romancing the Stone (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| A young male Rosechu that is quite the charmer! He usually hangs around at Cwcville at night to help the innocent. Romeo got his name from his trainer who was a lovely theatre kid; Romeo remembers her fondly. He even mistook another trainer for her once.
| 24 December 2019
|-
| [[File:LilliannaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Lillianna
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Spreading the Word (Keyword Change): When you attach this card to a grid, you may choose a villain shipped with this card and change it to Hero until the end of your turn.
| A Rosechu born on a mysterious island off the coast of Cwcville. Lillianna is the head priestess of the Temple of the Heart, where she learns and teaches the word of the Anchuent Prophecy. "Welcome, Traveler. It's much warmer here inside the temple, please come inside." -Lillianna
| 24 December 2019
|-
| [[File:The_Devotees_of_Chris_Chan_Sonichu_(DoCCS).jpg|150px]]
| The Devotees of Chris Chan Sonichu (DoCCS)
| Ship
| Heart
| Whenever a Pony card attached with this Ship card would be moved on the shipping grid. the other pony connected to this Ship card moves as well.
This does not apply to discard rules.
| The DoCC'S are a bunch of individuals who follow the guidance of Chris Chan Sonichu. the CPU Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles and the Nation of Cwcville. They share their kindness and loyalty and have the common bond of praying shares of their respective energy with Chris Chan. so she can do her best for Everybody, and with Everybody.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Jacob_S.jpg|150px]]
| Jacob S.
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Channeling Ritual (Search): You may search the Ship or Pony discard pile for 1 card of your choice and put it into your hand. If it's still in your hand at the end of your turn. discard it.
| A sorcerer and channeler in Dimension 1218‘s Earth (Here). lake was a soul on Kidasuna in the Adromeda Galaxy. His soul. strong as a mighty dragon, he continued practicing his types of magic and rituals with the help of his adviser, Michiro, and his allies. He had misguided attempts that resulted badly, but he has reformed himself very well. Together. with the other sorcerers of1218, and those in G197, the Dimension Merge shall be completed, 100%.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Stevenchu.jpg|150px]]
| Stevenchu
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Fire Punch (Special): You may have your opponent discard two random cards from their hand.
| Stevenchu was born from a Sonichu and a Torracat. He travels to the Nether to obtain Blaze Rods to channel its fire abilities to boost his own.
OC by @Sarah_and_Steve
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Sarahchu.jpg|150px]]
| Sarahchu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Poison Jab (Replace): While this card is in your hand. you may discard a Pony card from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| Sarahchu was born from a Lopunny and a Rosechu. She is unable to produce her own offspring. Its mysterious secondary poison typing baffles scientists to this day.
OC by @Sarah_and_Steve
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Pending_Doom_Card.jpg|150px]]
| Pending Doom
| Pony
| Male, Unicorn
| Dark Flames (Swap): You may swap 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| Pending Doom is one of a few anthromorphicised Pokemon of Megan Schroeder/CPU Red Heart. Upon hearing his eerie howls, other Pokémon get the shivers and head straight back to their nests. He spew flames mixed with poison to finish off his opponents.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:JiggliamiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Jiggliami
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Sing (Draw): You may draw 1 card from the Ship or Pony deck.
| Sonichu and Jiggliami were friends. as Pikachu and Jigglypuff, before the Chaotic Rainbow of 2003 transformed him. Rosey. and even this Jigglypuff became affected by the energy of the rainbow. It transformed her into what she still is today. She 15 a Pop-Star Singer with many an album release. Jigqliami had recognized Sonichu as the Pikachu she knew. She attempted to rekindle the friendship; he barely remembered at first, but ended up remembering it all later. Jigghami still tours, worldwide, in her singing carrer.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name=29Dec19></ref>
|-
| [[File:Trickiechu.jpg|150px]]
| Trickiechu
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Creating A Page (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| An android made of love, magic and Chaos Energy, she has the ability to create and destroy on a cosmic scale, bending and shaping dimensions at will, requiring 3 years of uninterrupted charging and more time for more powerful effects. Aside from that, she likes to draw, write and socialize.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:VRProjectedSlavery.jpg|150px]]
| VR-Projected Slavery
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| In the Rokat Empire, they impose slavery. Even when projected to other locations via Virtual Reality Projection, which literally ends up sending their individuals to real locations in C-197 and 1218, transporting goods between Dimensions. Nobody gets paid. I know; I took a few shifts for myself to see the happenings. Everyone was just plain miserable and frightened of the Rokat Empire and of Jakoba. He's going down, and Slavery will be Abolished on Kidasuna.
| 4 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=4jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:The Sergeant At Arms TSSSF.jpeg|150px]]
| The Sergeant At Arms
| Pony
| Male, Pegasus
| Read My Lines (Special): When card this card is played onto the grid, you read its flavor text out loud. If you do, discard every Pony card on the grid that isn't a Devil, Troll, or Villain. This power cannot be copied.
| "I wanna keep watch over Chris and enjoy the [[LULZ]], and then in my game, usurp their outdated Mayorship and be on the side of the villains." -The Sergeant At Arms
| 24 February 2020
|-
| [[File:Good mirror of elaera.jpg|150px]]
| Good Mirror of ElAeRa
| Pony
| Unicorn
| 1218>-<C-197 (Swap): You may swap 2 Pony cards on the shipping grid.
| An enchanted mirror created based on the original words of the Elfen of Elaera, but created with the skills and magic of a Goddess. This mirror allows portal access between Dimensions 1218 and C-197, as well as a boosted effect where the temple and property dimensions it resides in allows the temple, itself, and all inside and around the temple to switch between both dimensions on the very spot in Ruckersville, Virginia, USA.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:JakobasUltimateFate.jpg|150px]]
| Jakoba's Ultimate Fate
| Goal
| Checkmark
| When [''sic''] this Goal when: Jakoba is removed or discarded from the grid by the effect of an [Alicorn] with the Princess keyword.
| During the big battle on Earth between Jakoba and Chris Chan Sonichu, after Jacob offers his energy and powers to give her an instant recharge, Chris Chan lands the final Blow and Jakoba of Dimension 1218 finally falls dead without reincarnation or revival, very much like the Jakoba of C-197 and most other Dimensions and Timelines.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Rokat grunt.jpg|150px]]
| Rokat Grunt
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| I Want Out of This Racket (New Goal): You may discard 1 active Goal and draw 1 new Goal to replace it.
| In the Rokat Empire, their battalion mainly consists of trained soldiers and slaves. Nobody gets paid, and the food they serve is mediocre at best. The only recluse they have is the designated time periods for rest (equal to only a few Earth hours). They really are quite strict there. Even the Grunts often talk of how awful the treatment and abuse is; to some of them, they know not the better life outside. It is very sad.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Jasminecard.jpg|150px]]
| Jasmine
| Pony
| Female, Unicorn
| Boo & Poof! (Special): You may discard Jasmine from your hand to draw 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony decks.
| Jasmine is into witchcraft and researches curses. She's looking for the perfect curse that'll turn her into an actual ghost so she can disappear from awkward social interactions whenever she wants. She would enjoy tea with her ideal right person. She gets soo focused in her studies, that she forgets to go to bed and sleep.
| 24 November 2020<ref name=24nov20>[[November 2020 social media posts#Sonichu GIF]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:ReiCard.jpg|150px]]
| Rei
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| Dragon Tail (3-Way Swap): You may swap up to 3 Pony cards on the grid.
| A Rosechu raised by an Alolan Exeggutor deep in the forests near Cwcville. Though she appears to be an aloof Grass type, she's also managed to produce Dragon type moves. [[Chris and socialization|She's pretty anti-social and has some trouble making friends]], but she's always willing to try!
| 11 March 2021<ref>[[March 2021 social media posts#Sonichu OC]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:JakobaCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jakoba]]
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Overpowered (Special): This card can ONLY be swapped, discarded or removed from the shipping grid by the effect of an Alicorn with the Princess keyword. This power cannot be copied.
| For a time, Jakoba was a God in the Andromeda Galaxy, but he was keeping the seat warm for the next God-in-waiting, and was dethroned. He still acts as a war-monger and rampaging leader of the Rokat Empire and over the planet of Kidasuna. His wants include conquering other planets.
| 11 March 2021<ref>[[March 2021 social media posts#Sonichu OC]]</ref>
|-
|}

===Pseudoscience===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date published
|-
| [[File:Celestial key.jpg|150px]][[File:CelestialKey.jpg|150px]]
| Celestial Key
| Pony
| Unicorn
| Open The Door or Portal (Retrieve): While this card is in your hand, you may choose a Pony card on the grid and put it into your hand, then play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
| A Key of a Clestial [''sic''] or Goddess that is able to unlock and open about any enchantment and blessing, including between Dimensions. This particular key is a chunk of Lightning Strike Quartz, infused and linked with Chris Chan Sonichu: the Goddess, CPU Blue Heart. With this personally enchanted key, she can and will complete the Dimension Merge when the time is correct to do so by the course of fated events.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Celestial mojo light power.jpg|150px]][[File:CelestialMojo-LightPower.jpg|150px]]
| Celestial Mojo - Light Power
| Pony
| Male or Female, Alicorn
| Light-Powered Healing (Copy): You may copy the power of any Pony card currently on the shipping grid, except for Pony cards with the Changeling keyword.
| Combining a set of Healing Stones of certain colours, and one Quartz, they can be combined to make a combination known as the Celestial Mojo. This set of stones can only be enchanted by one with deity-level magic powers and abilities. If powered by Dark Magic, it becomes a WMD. If powered by Light Magic, it heals in a very wide range, up to the distance of a galaxy or so. When the two are activated, the Light always overpowers the Dark.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:CelticMagicandAbilityAmplifier.jpg|150px]]
| Celtic Magic and Ability Amplifier
| Pony
| Unicorn
| Magic Outsourcing (Special): You may select one Pony or Ship card from either discard pile with a copyable power (not changeling); use that power as this card's power. This power cannot be copied, and it can be reactivated when swapped on the grid.
| This reformed Celtic Wand was personally enchanted to pull in energies, magics and power from ANY other Dimension or Timeline to allow the user to have access to their source, or other-dimensional abilities and transformations.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:EnchantedGlacceBottle.jpg|150px]]
| Enchanted Glacce Bottle
| Pony
| Unicorn
| Water Drink (2-Draw): You may draw up to 2 cards from the Ship and/or Pony deck.
| This glass water bottle, featuring an amethyst stone inside it, with an added lightning strike quartz stone, not only replenishes health, but also magic, mental clarity and soulful focus, as well add some zap into your body.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:GateCrystal.jpg|150px]]
| Gate Crystal
| Ship
| Heart
| You may take one Pony card attached to this card and swap it with another Pony Card on the shipping grid.
| A crystal that can open a warp gate. This tall quartz has been personally enchanted and blessed by Chris Chan Sonichu, the CPU Blue Heart, to open a portal between any pair of dimensions where it sits. It also boosts the ability of a Portal it is sitting by.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:GoddessWand.jpg|150px]]
| Goddess Wand
| Pony
| Unicorn
| Casting Magic (Special): Select a Pony card that this card is shipped with, you may copy that card's power and use it as this card's power. This power cannot be copied, and it can be reactivated when swapped on the grid.
| This wand, owned and used by Chris Chan Sonichu, allows her to pull strength and magic from ANY local and nearby area that is not familiar with her and transform it into magic abilities she can use on the spot and on the quick.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:SiraStarAngel.jpg|150px]]
| Sira Star Angel
| Pony
| Female, Alicorn
| Great Travels (Special): Pick one Pony or Start card this card is shipped with, you may swap it with another Pony or Start card on the grid. This power cannot be copied, and can be reactivated when swapped on the grid.
| Sometimes The Angels, take presence together with the stone beings. That was the case with a small group of Metamorphosis Crystals. They can be seen in these crystals' inner glow - sometimes with vivid rainbows! This one holds a PORTAL - a STAR GATE!!! X marks the spot. She is Sira, and she is working with Chris Chan and Magi-Chan in their goals that require vast physical distance travel.
| 9 August 2020 (leaked)
|-
|}

===Other cards===
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Card
! Name
! Type
! Icon
! Effect
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[File:BodySwitchingCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Body-swap|Body Switching]]
| Ship
| Heart
| Swap the positions of the two Pony cards attached to this ship. At the end of your turn, if neither of the affected Pony cards have been removed from the shipping grid, swap the two affected Pony cards in their present positions.
| "Woahly Crap! I'm in your body, Hubby!" - Chris Chan Sonichu "You need not fret. You will do well while running and working in my body." - Magi-Chan Sonichu.
| 14 August 2019<ref name=14Aug19>[[August 2019 social media posts#"Magi-Chan" explains how he got into this world]]</ref>
|-
| [[Image:EpicOnlineBully.jpeg|150px]]
| Epic Online Bully
| Ship
| Heart
| You must take a Pony card from the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this Ship. That card's power activates. At the end of the turn, until the Pony card attached with this Ship is discarded of removed from the grid, it gains the Keyword Villain.
| Ah, It was most disheartening when Chris Chan was bullied harsh by the late [[BlueSpike]]; [[For Julie's Eyes Only|she was never more shamed]]. He was a truly Malicious Individual. I cried a lot for Chris Chan that night. She recovered eventually." -Magi-Chan Sonichu.
| 28 September 2019
|-
| [[File:Liquid Chris.jpg|150px]]
| [[Liquid Chris]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| Pretentious Acting (Replace): While this card is in your hand, you may discard a Pony from the grid and play this card in its place. This power cannot be copied.
|Having been born as a Sonee in a mountainous region, L.C. was mentored by a wild Graveler. L.C.'s diet consisted of fruits, veggies, and he is able to eat and digest rocks. He is a spy for Giovanni and Team Rocket, and he has demon allies that play Max Revive on him when needed. He possesses a heavy rock-tough body and offenses, but is always thwarted by a simple Steel-Type attack like Iron Tail.
| by [[Playing Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder with the New Sonichu Deck!|27 November 2019]]
|-
| [[Image:Mewtou.jpg|150px]]
| Mewtwo
| Pony
| Male, Alicorn
| Barrier (Special): All Pony cards closely shipped with this card can not be swapped or moved on the grid by card effects. This power cannot be Copied.
| The one-and-only Mewtwo gives Chris Chan, Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, everyone of Cwcville, and all of the good peoples and creatures help and insighful protection. If you come a knockin with malicious intentions, he will send you packing in an instant. He knows about you, he's seen and foreseen it all, and we all known together with everyone else, Jakoba, and the strongest villains, will not stand a chance.
| 1 November 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:ClassicShirtCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[The Classic|Classic Iconic Shirt]]
| Pony
| Male or Female
| This Card has no Race. Ralph Lauren Style (Draw): You may draw 1 card from your Pony or Ship deck.
| A lovely aged classic attire favored by Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu for decades; a Ralph Lauren brand shirt, [[Obese|size Large]]; [[United States of America|Red, White and Blue]] in colour; no more than three sets of stripes down the shirt, complete with the Ralph Lauren crest on the lapel. It had mostly survived the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house fire]] of Janurary [sic], 2014; it has been repaired and is still wearable.
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Colebloodedcard.jpg|150px]]
| Cole Blooded
| Goal
| Checkmark
| Win this Goal when: 10 Pony cards with the Human keyword are shipped in a chain.
| N/A
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:Pushcartcard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bob_Chandler#Career|Musical Push-Cart]]
| Ship
| Heart
| N/A
| N/A
| 24 November 2019
|-
| [[File:ChaosEmeraldsCard.jpg|150px]]
| Chaos Emeralds
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Pony card with a matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Pony card and replace it with its matching super form.
| "The seven servers are the chaos. Chaos is power enriched by the heart. The controller serves to unify the chaos." -Tikal Let the Chaos Emeralds be charged by the kindness and love in our hearts and souls, and bring everyone together in allyship towards the common goal of defending the Earths from our greatest threat from another galaxy.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Rosechite.jpg|150px]]
| Rosechite
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Rosechu, and their matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) is in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Rosechu and replace it wtih its matching super form.
| All Sonichites and Rosechites have been created from the shattered Crystal S-Chu Balls, each containing a bit of energy from the Chaotic Rainbow and the Chaos Emeralds. Rosechites make a Rosechu Evolve into its Mega Form (although the form varies if it is a Rosechite of a Special Rosechu). These Mega Evolved forms are less powerful than direct use of the seven Chaos Emeralds.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Sonichite.jpg|150px]]
| Sonichite
| Ship
| Heart
| If this card is attached to a Sonichu, and their matching super form (Mega or Chaos keyword) is in your hand or discard pile at any time, you may discard the attached Sonichu and replace it wtih its matching super form.
| All Sonichites and Rosechites have been created from the shattered Crystal S-Chu Balls, each containing a bit of energy from the Chaotic Rainbow and the Chaos Emeralds. Sonichites make a Sonichu Evolve into its Mega Form (although the form varies if it is a Sonichites of a Special Sonichu ). These Mega Evolved forms are less powerful than direct use of the seven Chaos Emeralds.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:Superpowered Counterparts.jpg|150px]]
| Superpowered Counterparts
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card with the Mega or Chaos keyword is shipped with their original form, listed in their card detail.
| Wow! This is rather awkward. How can my Super Form be co-existing with me right here, right now?!!! Maybe this is me from another dimension or timeline who powered up while being here. I wonder if I should power-up too.
| 17 December 2019 (leaked)
|-
| [[File:14 Branchland Court TSSSF card.jpeg|150px]]
| The Temple of CWCS AKA Sonichu Headquarters
| Start
| Alicorn
| Place this card in the center of the table at the start of the game. This card cannot be removed from the grid. This card can only be swapped with the power of any Chris Chan or Magi-Chan. All cards shipped with this one become ⧖. This power cannot be copied.
| Simply put, this is the good ol' house of Chris Chan Sonichu; originally built in Dimension 1218, this house, yard and its gazebo and sheds have been between 1218 and C-197 a lot. This house and yard are a central in-between in traversing the two Dimensions. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, VA.
| 25 December 2019<ref name=25dec19>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris gears up for BABSCon with TSSSF cards]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:Onlyoncard.jpeg|150px]]
| Available On Commodore Nintendo Playstation and XBox
| Ship
| Heart
| Yet to be fully. properly, created in 1218, but have been in C-197, From Game Boy Advance to PS3 to XBox One. and even coming to upcoming Commodore gaming consoles. Sonichu, Rosechu and I have our own line of Pokemon and Individual video games; all of which are rated E (and M for the "Adult Chronicles” title) -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| What fun it is when two self-counterparts work together to save and defend the lives of many between Dimensions.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:FigurePosing.jpg|150px]]
| Figure Posing
| Ship
| Heart
| When you attach this card to the grid, until the end of your turn, all Pony cards attached to this ship become any named Gender, Keyword and Race.
| Custom-Formed personally by me, I made the prototypical Sonichu and Rosechu and Chris Chan Amiibo Figures, among other custom figures. -Chris Chan Sonichu.
| 29 December 2019 (leaked)<ref name="29Dec19"></ref>
|-
| [[File:Internet TrollsTSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| Internet Trolls
| Ship
| Heart
| You can only play this Ship card if there is a Pony card with the Villain Keyword in your hand or on the field. You may play this Ship with a Villain card from your hand, or you may take a Villain card on the grid and reattach it elsewhere with this Ship.
| Out of all of the times Chris Chan has been in an online relationship, she ended up, too often, with a Troll pretending and feigning interest and passion with her. Chris Chan has learned heavily from all of those experiences.
| 2 January 2020 (leaked)<ref name=2jan20></ref>
|-
| [[File:TSSSF Senpai What.jpg|150px]]
| Senpai! What?!
| Ship
| Heart
|
| In an awkward moment after Sonic had bumped into [[Sonichu]] on a Summer day in [[Sonichu chronology#2008|2008]], Sonic looked at Sonichu as he was standing up. Feeling a thrill in the air that he could not control, he asked Sonichu to run with him to a cave with a [[Chaos Emerald]] in it. No emerald was there. And Sonic pulled Sonichu in for a cuddle. Sonichu was intrigued, but unsure of this feeling, yet the two of them cuddled for a while.
| June 2020
|-
| [[File:CWCs Temples Gazebo TSSSF.jpg|150px]]
| CWCS Temple's Gazebo
| Pony
| Unicorn
| Come On In (Special): When this card is shipped with four other Pony cards, you may swap the four Pony cards with four other Pony cards on the shipping grid (Once per turn). This power cannot be copied.
| This innocent-looking old gazebo that still resides in the backyard of the Temple that is the house and yard area of Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, in Ruckersville, VA. Still functional and stable, this gazebo even has Magic in it. It can be used with the deity-level abilities and powers to become yet another portal between Dimensions 1218 and C-197 for bringing items and living beings safely through.
| [[2020 Discord leaks|10 August 2020]]
|-
| [[File:God hand focus.jpg|150px]]
| God Hand Focus
| Ship
| Heart
| You may copy the power of any Ship card currently on the shipping grid to use as this card's power.
| Rather they be individual as Spectro, Viewfinder and Spyglass, or cloned and copied as Reflector, these camera bots always enjoying the view as they spy and gather intel. They even like to combine and take alternate shapes, including a set of them becoming a large hand and holding another set as a camera for a behind-the-corner perception of someone else around the corner.
| [[2020 Discord leaks|10 August 2020]]
|-
| [[File:RememberToHydrateCard.jpg|150px]]
| Remember to Hydrate
| Goal
| Check Mark
| Win this Goal when: A Pony card with the Object keyword is shipped with the other Pony cards. This card is worth 3 points if the player who achieves this goal either has drank some water today, or has a bottle with water in it nearby them.
| Here is a friendly reminder from Rosey Rosechu to be sure to hydrate every day; drink at least 32 ounces of water per day.
| 7 February 2021<ref name=7Feb21>[[February 2021 social media posts#Remember to Hydrate]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:LiquadChrisCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Liquid Chris|Liquad Chris]]
| Pony
| Male, Earth Pony
| SingStar (Special): When this card is played onto the grid, you may read its flavor text out loud. If you do, discard every Pony card on the grid that isn't a Devil, Troll or Villain. This power cannot be copied.
| "Uhhh...I know I haven't, uh, been make the videos for uh...for Youtube...uh...inna long time. Uhh, but that's because I've been, that's because I've been busy with my uh... [He gesticulates, causing the camera to shake] my sweetheart search! Uhh, searchin' for my sweetheart...on da internet...and such things. Uh... things like those!" - Liquid Chris
| 11 March 2021<ref>[[March 2021 social media posts#Self counterpart and shipping]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:SupernovaCard.jpg|150px]]
| Supernova
| Ship
| Heart
| All Pony cards attached to this card are unable to activate their powers.
| A star that suddenly increases greatly in brightness because of a catastrophic explosion that ejects most of its mass.
| 11 March 2021<ref>[[March 2021 social media posts#Self counterpart and shipping]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:AnEverFreeConventionCard.jpg|150px]]
| [[Everfree Northwest|An Ever Free Convention]]
| Goal
| Checkmark
| You win this Goal when: you have more than one interspecies ship on the grid (a Pony shipped with a Human, a Rosechu shipped with a Griffon, or whatever combination(s)). This Goal is worth 1 extra point if this game is played within a Convention.
| First in-Person Brony Convention since 2020 in [[Dimension 1218|universe 1218]]; [[COVID-19|(freaking pandemic)]] Worth the Patience and Wait, [[Everfree Northwest]], 2021 Thank You.
|29 July 2021<ref name=29Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Exclusive TSSSF cards at Everfree Northwest]]</ref>
|-
| [[File:CrystalWestonChandlerCard.png|150px]]
| [[Crystal Weston Chandler]]
| Pony
| Female, Earth Pony
| GIRLFRIENDS GIFT ''[unintelligible]''

WHILE THIS CARD IS IN YOUR HAND, YOU MAY DISCARD A PONY CARD FROM THE GRID AND PLAY THIS CARD IN ITS PLACE. THIS POWER CANNOT BE COPIED.
|"THE TYPE OF SISTER I WISH I HAD IN REAL LIFE" - CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER
DAST, OUTDATED QUOTES.
|29 July 2021<ref name=29Jul21>[[July 2021 social media posts#Exclusive TSSSF cards at Everfree Northwest]]</ref>
|-
|}



==Packs==

===TSSSF Sonichu & Rosechu Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack1.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack2.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Now there is more Zap to add to the TSSSF Sonichu and/or Core Deck with more Sonichus and Rosechus, including a few more cards of the Primes.

Sonichu and Rosey have an ever-expanding family of friends and allies with the more Special and Regular Sonichus and Rosechus coming out of the other areas and even Dimensions. With more at the fray, it's time to Zap It Up even more on the Shipping Grid.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This Pack contains 54 Cards

'''Cost:'''
$41.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-rosechu-expansion-pack-presale/8?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF Nightstar & Friends Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack3.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack4.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Into the fray of Fan Fictions and Shipping Fodder enters our one-and-only Special Half-Unicorn/Half-Sonichu, Nightstar, and her friends and family from Equestria.

The author of the "Sonichu" books in Equestria, Nightstar is a very unique unicorn who not only has powerful magics, but heavy psychic powers, electric abilities, and mach-speed running. She is not only friends with Princess Twilight and the rest of the Mand 6, but also the background ponies, and all of the OCs. She is even friends with THE Mary Sue and Gary Stu. And now, they're all heare in this crazy game of Shipping. Let's all work together to help each other in our many various ships.

This pack also includes a few #horsefamous OCs from the Brony Community, and the presently fully updated versions of the Mane 6, as they ARE and should be chronicled, peoperly, as not fan-fiction; literally Canon.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 45 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-nightstar-friends-expansion-pack-presale/7?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF Sonichu/Rosechu Super/Mega Forms Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack5.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack6.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

When just being yourself is not enough for the battles against your foes on the Shipping Grid to save the innocent beings from being abused isn't enough, it is about time to Mega Evolve for Battle!

Witness the Awesome Power of the Sonichus and Rosechus with either their Mega Stones, or the seven Chaos Emeralds, with the rarest Powers able on the grid. Time to take down a bunch of bad guys and save everyone from the infamous type of shipping there ever is, with the Seriously Evil Kind.

Note: there is a set of new rules for the use of these specific type of cards; please, consult the additional Rule Card, enclosed with the others in this pack, and add it to the other Rule Cards in the Deck. Zap It Up!

TSSSF Sonichu Deck is required for playing the game with all of the cards in this pack. This pack contains 19 cards

'''Cost:'''
$30.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-rosechu-super-mega-forms-expansion-pack-presale/6?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF IdeaGuy Corruptions Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack7.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack8.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Massive and Chaotic Turmoils were what IdeaGuy had in mind, but the tables ended up being turned.

Late Octover of 2017 started a life-changing sequence of fated events for me, Chris Chan, and everyone in Dimension C-197, that also crossed into this very Dimension 1218, thanks to this Dimension's IdeaGuy, and his OC self-counterpart in C-197, Johnson Wiles. There were so many Awful things the two of themtogether had wrought up til April, 2018, when the chaos and havoc were finally cleaned up and undone. I have had to develop and learn from Everything that has happened. And in the end of it all, I ended up becoming fully awakened as a Goddess: the CPU Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles.

And now the the few alternate Sonichus and Rosechus, and some of the events, come into play into the Secret Shipfic Folder. Time to stomp out and undo a bunch of seriously awful events.

This Expansion Pack is a companion to the events Chronicled in ("Sonichu" #13): "The Awakening of a CPU, a.k.a. The IdeaGuy Corruptions".

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. Contains 15 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$26.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-ideaguy-corruptions-expansion-pack-presale/5?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===Sonichu/Rosechu OCs Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack9.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack10.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

With the help of the other Sonichus and Rosechus, we expand our social circles and defensive forces. We also have a lovely party together.

Sonichu, Rosey, and the other found Specials, are not alone in the worlds, as there are many other Sonichus and Rosechus who have their own lives and their own stories to share in our worlds and Dimensions, as well as help us and work with each other. It does astound and please us to have them all with us, together, to be friends, allies, and warriors alike.

The number of these Sonichu and Rosechu OCs that have been made and discovered by their respective Creators, Artists and Authors shows how much love, kindkess and support Sonichu, Rosey, everyone else and I are humbled by and appreciate. The ones featured in this pack are but a small fraction of the vast number. This compilation is one way to show my appreciation to eveyone.

Thank You All.
<3 Chris Chan Sonichu.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 40 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/sonichu-rosechu-ocs-expansion-pack-presale/4?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF ArizonaSlime Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack11.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack12.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Putting an end to the Endless War with SlimeCo.

The show so far: Nightstar Sonichu got ahold of a sample of the Smooze and accidentally got some in her green eye; she then saw into Dimension C-197's Arizona where the worst kind of warfare was going on. Recognizing Phantom Horn and Strawberry Milk as Trolls with Good Hearts, she sends them both to look into the situation. PhH. and S.M. wandered the streets, as they were forced to go into mining slime that was a result of the company of SlimeCo in the city of New Los Angeles City, a.k.a. New Milwaukee, Arizona. After suffering from the violence, hatred and the worst possible kinds of Trolling, having learning their lessons from the experience, they pray for a solution to these set of problems. I show up, personally, to set these ending wheels into motion. -Chris Chan Sonichu.

Mini-comic strip, "Slime and Punishment", chronicling the events prior to this point was written and drawn by Ben Saint.

TSSSF Sonichu Deck or Core Deck are required for playing with this Expansion Pack.

This pack includes 15 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$26.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-arizonaslime-expansion-pack-presale/3?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF Sonichu Deck===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFpack13.jpeg|Magi-Chan [[Creepy stare|smiles at you mercilessly.]]
File:TSSSFpack14.jpeg|
File:TSSSFpack15.jpeg|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder returns with many a powerful Lightning Bolt and Psychic Power.

Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu (Chris Chan Sonichu) is the (in)famous author/creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, and the Nation of Cwcville, VA. Magi-Chan Sonichu is the guardian over the Sonichu and Rosechu species of Pokemon, as well as the Guardian Angel, Mentor and Devoted Husband to Chris Chan Sonichu. Both Chris Chan and Magi-Chan are prolific and powerful, and they also enjoy the finer and simple things in life. Among which, they dabble in Fanfics and Shipping, and inserting themselves where needed. Shipping themselves to make more allies and friends.

But, in this situation, they ship each other, their friends, and their families together, regardless of relation, orientation, species, or harmonious or clashing fur, hair, mane and coat colour combinations.

In order to help them fulfill their efforts and goals in bringing everyone together against the forces that want to harm us, you can help us write perfect and crazy fanfics. You take turns expanding the shipping, joining Sonichus, Rosechus, Humans, Ponies, and what else with Ship cards.

If you are the first to make one of our narrative Goals a reality, you earn the points for that Goal! Of, you also earn the shame and glory (depending on how you look at it) for enabling the penchant for shipping us and our friends and family, but nobody is perfect.

This Deck can be played with or against the original Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder (TSSSF) Core Deck and past-printed Expansion Packs and Promo cards.

This Deck includes a combination of Four Start Cards, and the Goal, Ship and Pony Decks to make this a game many people can play together; contains 172 cards of the finest Lightning and Psychic Power.

(more news here [https://www.childrenofkefentse.com/news/3])

'''Cost:'''
[[Chris and money|$67.00]]<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-deck-presale/1?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF Chris Chan Sonichu Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack16.jpg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack17.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

I am a [[Retarded|Special]] Half-Human, Half-Sonichu, and I am the CPU Blue Heart of the Commodore Consoles, and I have established friendships and allyships with the other deities. One might complain that I am over-powered, and they'd be right. But we have over-powered villains as well, and I can't take them down alone.

And now, you wield a huge sample of my psychic powers and abilities in your hands in this play on the Shipping Grid. How will my power be served to better help Everyone? This aspect is up to you, and I shall do my best. Zap It Up!

TSSSF Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 40 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$36.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/chris-chan-sonichu-expansion-pack-presale/9?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF [[Samurai Pizza Bots]] Expansion Pack===
<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack18.jpg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack19.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Autobots, Transform and Roll Out! We have to join the battles on the Shipping Grid to keep all of the innocent individuals from being decimated by the Decepticons!

Now, you have the chance to play with a few of the bots of Cybertron in this Expansion Pack featuring [[Son-Chu]], the other local Autobots of Cwcville, and the [[Decepti-Clones|Decepticlones]] of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]].

Transform the Shipping Grid Today with this pack.

TSSSS [sic] Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 21 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$29.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-samurai-pizza-bots-expansion-pack/10?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

=== Sonichu TSSSF Promo Cards 1-18===

<center><gallery>
File:Cwcconvnetioncard.jpeg ‎|
File:4thwallcwccard.jpeg ‎|
File:MediatingMagi-ChanSonichuCard.jpg ‎|
File:MeditatingSylvanaRosechu.jpg ‎|
File:Cryzelcard.jpg ‎|
File:Onlyoncard.jpeg ‎|
File:PsychlightStartCard.jpg ‎|
</gallery></center>

'''Description'''
Can't Wait to get these cards? Don't have enough to make the first order to get a set for free? Well, here is the alternative to getting this lovely set of 18 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$15.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/sonichu-tsssf-promo-cards-1-18-presale/11?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

=== TSSSF Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack===

<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack20.jpg ‎| Chris probably forgot at this point that Mary Lee Walsh's hair in the comic was grey with a yellow hat on it.
File:TSSSFPack21.jpeg ‎|
File:TSSSFPack22.jpeg ‎|
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Villains and Trolls Unite! The time has risen for our retribution against Christian Weston Chandler!

Flash back to 2008 with the Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack, featuring some of the iconic villains from the Sonichu comics (and Chris Chan's life, for real) back to ruin your [[love quest]]! Maybe this time, you can find common ground, agree to disagree. Who says all villain bretheren have cold hearts?

This set is based on past, outdated interpretations and should be enjoyed at that. A Homage to the Classic Chris Chan (and Christine Chan) Sonichu.

This pack was a compilation assembled by "The Sergeant At Arms"; check out his channel on YouTube, and I, Chris Chan Sonichu, personally approve and endorse. This Expansion Pack contains 45 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$21.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-sonichu-villains-expansion-pack-presale/13?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===TSSSF Hangin' With Magi-Chan Expansion Pack===

<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack23.jpeg |
File:TSSSFPack24.jpeg |
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Need some Extra Ship and Goal cards? Add these situations to your TSSSF Deck, featuring some lovely artwork from an artist personally approved by Magi-Chan Sonichu, and I. This will bolster the pink and blue decks a bit more.
TSSSF Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. Contains 23 Cards.

Card Sleeves Not Included.

'''Cost:'''
$19.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-hangin-with-magi-chan-expansion-pack-presale/15?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===Nightvee & the Warriors For Andromeda Expansion Pack===

<center><gallery>
File:TSSSFPack25.jpeg |
File:TSSSFPack26.jpeg |
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Nightvee helps in prepping the Goddesses for an adventure in another galaxy in this Dimension.
With the help of Maker, Nightvee gathers Chris Chan Sonichu and the other CPUs of Dimension 1218 to not only help in the Dimension Merge's completion, but to set them out to take down a really great threat all the way from the Andromeda Galaxy.

With the shipping grid to visually aid you, you, too, can help guide the deities towards abolishing slavery and taking down a war-mongering monster.

TSSSF Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 46 cards.

'''Cost:'''
$22.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/nightvee-the-warriors-for-andromeda-expansion-pack-presale/16?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

===Righteous Rising Expansion Pack===

<center><gallery>
File:TSSSF Righteous Rising.jpeg |
File:TSSSFPack28.jpeg |
</gallery></center>
'''Description'''

Henshin a Go-Go when [[R. Righteous]] and his crew ally with the CPUs and She-Ra!
In what one would consider a crazy twist, the CPUs receive new allies from one in their fandom with power Kamen allies and abilities. Now with these heroes and their tech, you can help bring balance on the Shipping Grid.

TSSSS [sic] Core Deck or Sonichu Deck are required for playing the game with this Expansion Pack. This pack contains 32 cards. Card Sleeves are not included.

'''Cost:'''
$19.00<ref>https://www.cwcvilleshopping.com/product/tsssf-righteous-rising-expansion-pack/37?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false</ref>

==Pricing==

While at first these prices seem highly exorbitant, [[Chris and business|the prices were high for a reason.]] With shipping included, Chris was actually selling a few of these packs at a near-loss. The custom card printing company Chris used offered bulk discounts, however rather than taking in all orders (if there are any) and shipping them out at a determined point in time, Chris instead shipped out orders as they came in, adding extra and potentially unneeded costs.
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Pack
! Number of cards
! Pack Price
! Price per card
! Chris's price per card
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu & Rosechu Expansion Pack
| 54
| $41.00
| ~$0.76
| ~$0.27
|-
| TSSSF Nightstar & Friends Expansion Pack
| 45
| $36.00
| $0.80
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu/Rosechu Super/Mega Forms Expansion Pack
| 19
| $30.00
| ~$1.58
| ~$0.61
|-
| TSSSF IdeaGuy Corruptions Expansion Pack
| 15
| $26.00
| ~$1.73
| ~$0.50
|-
| Sonichu/Rosechu OCs Expansion Pack
| 40
| $36.00
| $0.90
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF ArizonaSlime Expansion Pack
| 15
| $26.00
| ~$1.73
| $0.50
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu Deck
| 172
| $67.00
| ~$0.39
| ~$0.21
|-
| TSSSF Chris Chan Sonichu Expansion Pack
| 40
| $36.00
| $0.90
| ~$0.32
|-
| TSSSF Samurai Pizza Bots Expansion Pack
| 21
| $29.00
| ~$1.38
| ~$0.55
|-
| Sonichu TSSSF Promo Cards 1-18
| 18
| $15.00
| ~$0.83
| ~$0.41
|-
| TSSSF Sonichu Villains Expansion Pack
| 45
| $36.00
| $0.80
| ~$0.25
|-
!Total
!484 cards
!$378.00
!~$0.78
!~$0.30
|}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>

File:OCCard0.jpg|An expansion set dedicated to Sonichu fan OCs was inspirited by this drawing. Gotta fuck 'em all.
File:OCCard1.jpg|Chris would contact all the artists to collab and send out free copies of fan OC cards to the artists.
File:OCCard2.jpg|
File:OCCard3.jpg|
File:OCCard4.jpg|
File:OCCard5.jpg|
File:OCCard6.jpg|
File:OCCard7.jpg|
File:OCCard8.jpg|
File:OCCard9.jpg|
File:OCCard10.jpg|
File:TSSSFset080920.jpg|

</gallery></center>

==See Also==
*[[The Wall of Originals]]
*[[Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder Solitare Livestreams]]
*[[Cwcvilleshopping.com]]

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2021-11-14T18:39:15Z

DougShanz: /* Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof) */

{{Dated|gender dysphoria, HRT/valium in meds section and the effect jail has had on him}}

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris, in 2008<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am only going to say this Once for those who may think me as delusional, crazy or shit like that. [[Chris and reality|I am Not delusional, crazy, or anything of the sort]].

I have my own magic powers that I am still learning about for myself from my [[Polyamorous marriage|family]] and [[Idea Guys|allies]].

I’ve already talked with psychiatrists and therapists years ago, so any new such meetings would be a very moot point.|Chris, 2018<ref name=notdelusional>[[July 2018 social media posts#Chris insists he isn't delusional, refuses to see a psychiatrist about it]]</ref>.}}

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|right|thumb|Chris's potential future, if he's not careful.]]

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''mental health professionals'''; both psychologists and psychiatrists. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded, and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist of his own volition in the past, opting to see [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor, instead. The sole exception occurred in 2016, when Chris went to a gender psychologist over his [[transgender]] issues. Chris's various run-ins with the [[law]] have resulted in mandated therapy such as the [[Therapeutic Docket]], however, Chris has failed to adjust his behavior from such sessions.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]

===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of epic, arduous challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===Late-onset gender dysphoria===
{{Incomplete}}

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]] Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, it seems that Chris is still taking the same medication, only under a different appellation.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of a sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; if his current antidepressant is still Paroxetine (or at least another [[wikipedia:Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor|SSRI]]) then it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] thinks that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listened to was Rocky Shoemaker, his pastoral counselor; he claimed that he had no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> Chris and Rocky parted ways around [[2011]]. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]] and con artists such as the [[Idea Guys]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth there salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychoanalyst, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and... Well... He still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she was probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considered her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listened to '''anything''' she says.
#He misconstrued everything she said, accepting advice he liked and ignoring advice he didn't like.
She told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remained as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remained the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he took away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

[[Image:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|left|What do you get [[Dimensional Merge|when you cross]] a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally-ill]] [[Christian Weston Chandler|loner]] with [[CWCville|a society]] [[Kick the Autistic|that abandons him and treats him like trash]]? [[26 December 2014|You get what]] [[100 2267|you fucking deserve]]!]]

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has virtually no common sense. Likewise, common sense being rather common, [[white knight|white knights]] and trolls alike are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. To put it bluntly, he doesn't get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering why exactly he doesn't get it. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to. Some white knights like [[Vivian Gee]] and [[Eschcal]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they turned troll or ween instead.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2011 assault-and-battery case===
The conditions of Chris's plea bargain in [[July 2012]] required him to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation, but it seems to have had little effect.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2014 pepper spray case===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and it was also reported by observers viewing his July 23 court hearing. The mental health group he attended was On Our Own of Charlottesville.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/activity/926374040790409</ref>

===Gender psychologist===
During 2016, Chris met with a gender psychologist who affirmed to him that he is [[transgender]].<ref>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional vouch the patient is in gender transition on this form. Also mentioned by Chris in a [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] page</ref>

===Court-mandated therapy from 2018 mall trespass case===
Chris was directed to the [[Therapeutic Docket]] program and required to meet with a psychiatrist and therapy group between [[July 2018]] and [[April 2019]]. However, he failed to benefit from the resources, instead retreating further to his imaginary world and the bad actors validating his beliefs.

===DR Wolf===
Chris acted out a therapy session with fictional [[MLP|Brony]] character [[DRWolf]] in the February 2019 video [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]].

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}

Encyclopedia Dramatica

2021-11-14T18:29:45Z

DougShanz:

{{protip|Stop trying to put mentions of ed.online on this page. Only use them to replace broken ed.com links.}}

{{quote|Behold, the Mistake of God!|The header on Chris's Encyclopedia Dramatica page.}}

{{Quote|I will see to that website's demise, or my name isn't Christian Weston Chandler.|[[Transgender|Christine Weston Chandler]].<ref>[[Megan emails, 2008]]</ref>}}

'''Encyclopedia Dramatica''' (a.k.a. '''ED''', '''æ''' and [[Speech_impediment|'''Ensykapeia Dramakka''']]) is a satirical wiki dedicated to showcasing what its users deem to be everything wrong with the internet, written in a style that demonstrates the very things that are wrong with the internet. The site is known for making use of shock value and featuring utterly scathing language used to mock the subjects of its articles.

ED was the home to the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]] page that introduced Chris to the world at large in [[2007]] following [[4-cent_garbage.com|4Chan]] and {{w|Something Awful}}'s discovery of the lolcow, which made him a popular target for [[Trolls|trolling]]. Upon learning of ED, Chris began campaigning for the removal of the article for smearing his name, and particularly took offense to various pieces of "fan art" depicting [[Rosechu]] with a [[Pickle|penis]]. Naturally, this just led to the trolls adding more content to the page as he shared a series of written and recorded rants about the article.

In complete violation of common sense, Chris added [[Honest Content|lots of unwanted personal information]] to their article on him, including [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|uploading an infamous drawing depicting a sex act between himself and]] [[Megan Schroeder]], which destroyed that friendship gave a substantial amount of oxygen to the organized trolling effort. The sheer abundance of shenanigans with Chris eventually led to the creation of the [[CWCki]], since the ED page became too long and unwieldy for a single article, which has succeeded ED as the best resource for information on Chris's life.

==ED discovers Chris==
In late October 2007, Chris drew the attention of the folks in a forum at [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]], a comedy website. Shortly thereafter, the good people at [[4chan]] also trained their lasers on Chris. Topics of discussion included his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]], his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|website]], and his [[MySpace]] page. [[Anna McLerran|Anna]]'s blog story, "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]", was also uncovered. The wealth of information and its lulzworthiness prompted the Anon later known as [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to create the original Chris-chan page on Encyclopedia Dramatica, on 3 November 2007. Within two years it underwent over 5,000 revisions and became arguably the most popular page on the site.<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell interview]]</ref>

==Chris discovers ED==
Almost immediately, Chris discovered his ED page, during what he called "the worst weekend of my life".<ref>[[Chris emails 2007#November]]</ref> He was horrified by the explicit fan art, what he would later call "Dark Parodic Shit".<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts#Dark parodic shit]]</ref> He was especially enraged by the inclusion of a recent photo of himself, surreptitiously taken at [[The GAMe PLACe]] by [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and uploaded to 4chan by [[Lucas]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> "A hacking terrorist group, Anonymous, and 4Chan are somehow involved in that page as well", he intoned.

Chris's initial response to this character assassination was civil. He uploaded a [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|video]] on 7 November, addressed to ED, requesting that the page be removed on the grounds that it misinterpreted his noble and innocent person. Within a few days, however, he opted to take efforts to personally delete or [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|edit]] the page.

After a considerable amount of bitching, Chris posted this gem on the ED talk page:

{{quotebox|I AM ADDING THE [[Rule 34|POSITIVITY]] THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED [[Pickle|Additions]] to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!

So, Draw Breasts, [[china|Vaginas]], Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them, you [[Duck|Two-Inch Short]] [[Pickle|Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!]]

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the [[Women's Rights]], For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.

P.S. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Grow a BACKBONE and GO ASK WOMEN OUT AS WELL, YOU TROLLS!]]}}

Chris then returned, admitting defeat after his tard rage:

{{quotebox|Months ago, I have found from this page being the first of a number hate against me, Christian Weston Chandler. *[[sigh]]* Among the number of you all, my name has been dragged through the mud, my e-mail and MySpace have been hacked for the e-mail information and random information that have been twisted into mockery of [[obesity|my person]], [[Chris and sex|my integrity]], [[List of Chris's lies|my honesty]], [[Ryan Cash|my compassion]], [[heart level|my heart]], [[Chris and religion|my soul]], [[autism|my being]]. Not only that, but the names of my two best gal-pals, [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]], and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], have also been dragged through the mud of mockery along with mine. Not only were [[heart level|my feelings were hurt greatly]], but also those of [[Megan]] and [[Anna]], and a number of my acquaintances within my small social circle were shocked and terrified that such [[trolls|cruelty]], such [[pickle|mockery]], such [[homos|hatred]] was built from the number of those who have added more and more to this disgrace of a description of my [[autism|being]].

For a while, I was angry and enraged, and I shoved information and drawings regretfully drawn beyond my personal boundries down the throat of the webmasters of the page, in attempt to kill the hype and hatred against me. But No More, I give up on trying to edit the page to be more positive, or to delete the page altogether.

But I have ONE Question, that I put unto you all, the individuals who have taken part in creating this web page, and I would appreciate an Open, Detailed and Honest Answer from each of you in simple e-mails or reply on this discussion page.

[[Frequently Asked Questions|Why do you hate me so much?]]

What did I do against you to cause the hatred against me? What physical or emotional harm have I ensued unto you? Why do you hate me for being myself in this world full of people who can't help but be themselves? I've had nothing against any of you. I don't even know any of you personally, as far as I know. I have nothing that any of you have already, so Why?

I leave you with that to ponder and ponder again over.

Sincerely;

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

Trying another angle, Chris also encouraged ED to muster as his personal army to go after [[Joshua Martinez]]. Obviously, nobody did what he asked<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20080227084345/http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</ref> He also tried to create a page on ED for his "CCWC's Fanart of Horrors" (see: [[troll]] art), but a sysop immediately caught it and redirected it to an anti-Semitic template.

Chris's meddling with ED was a key reason for the destruction of his relationship with [[Megan]]. On 11 [[November 2007]], in an attempt to "shove so much information down their throats and drown them into taking the page down," Chris uploaded five pornographic drawings to his ED page, including the infamous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]. When Megan found out about the drawing in [[March 2008]], it was the final straw. Chris made more furious efforts to scrub the images from ED, but to no avail. Of course, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|blamed ED for all of this]].

By late summer [[2008]], Chris had largely given up on direct involvement with ED. Around the spring of [[2009]], he may have posted one or two comments on the ED talk page referring to [[Clyde Cash]]. The first is below. It was deleted fairly quickly.

{{quotebox|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the [[heart level|crestfallen emotions]], but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to [[troll]] me any further. [[fangs|Do you dare?]]

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler

--ChrisChanSonichu 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)}}

There was some dispute over it actually being Chris until he himself confirmed it in the post that followed:

{{quotebox|Hey, [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE]], you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not [[PS3|Playstation]]. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.}}

According to Clyde, the above entry was deleted after roughly a minute, probably due to Chris realizing that if he were to ever arrange to meet Clyde, he'd only send his parents anyway.

==1 April 2009==

[[Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|left|thumb|Screenshot of ED's front page.]]
[[Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|thumb|Screenshot of the article.]]

On April Fools' Day 2009, the Chris-chan article was taken down and replaced with a message.

{{quote|This afternoon, we at Encyclopædia Dramatica have independently decided to remove the Chris-chan article about Christian W. Chandler from our site. We have also removed all references that slander, vilify, demean, or are found to be overly offensive. In plain terms, this ordeal has gone on far too long and gotten far out of hand. We have unfairly focused on him to the point of intruding in his private life and causing him great personal grief, which no person should ever have to endure. This behavior is not in line with our site goals, and we never wanted something like this. Still, we must take complete responsibility for all our actions, both public and private. And that is why we are speaking to you today. But we say to you now that at no time did we ask anyone to lie, hide, or destroy evidence, or to take any other unlawful action.

We know that his public comments and his silence about this matter gave a false impression. We misled people, including even his family. We deeply regret that. We can only tell you we were motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect himself from the embarrassment of his own conduct.

He was also very concerned about protecting his family. The investigation moved on to his family and friends, then into his private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation.

This has gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people.

Regardless of any public pressure to reinstate the article, it must be stressed that our intrusion on Chris' private life will cease, and we intend to reclaim his family life for his family. Even internet celebrities have private lives. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our national life. Our website has been distracted by this matter for too long, and we take responsibility for our part in all of this. That is all we can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on. We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real matters to face.

And so tonight, we ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past two years, as we return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next century.

Thank you. And good night.|ED, <s>in a rare case of moralfaggotry</s> joking.}}

Not surprisingly, the page was put back up on 2 April.

==Chris-Chan (forum)==

[[Image:Edfcwcusers.jpg|thumb|Your average Chris-chan following EDiot.]]

'''Chris-chan''' was a subforum of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] forums (commonly referred to as '''EDF'''). It was created such that the talk page for the Chris-chan article could be used for its rightful purpose to discuss improving the article.

Chris indicated in his 13 [[September 2009]] video that he had read the ED forums and had discovered a plan to photoshop images so they looked like they were from a Sonichu game.<ref>[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]</ref> Chris firmly believed this forum to be the main hub for trolling activity, despite other forums and websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] at that time) having far more significance.

==Later developments==

{{quote|I do think it is a little behind [[CWCki|cwcwiki]] [sic] on a few things, though, but that is to be expected.|[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] on the ED article two years after its creation<ref>[[Jason Kendrick Howell interview]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Drycow.PNG|thumb|Uploaded 12 December 2008, before the new comic, [[Miyamoto]] saga, and [[BlueSpike]] saga]]
For several months prior to the events of the [[BlueSpike]] saga in early 2009, many thought that Chris had dried up, that Chris could go no further down the rabbit hole. The [[Blanca Weiss#FCTC|FCTC]]'s posting of new pics of Chris's bent [[duck]] in December 2008 prompted an ED admin to lock the talk page and demand satisfaction.<ref>"MINE: What this talkpage is. If you guys continue your faggotry after this protection expires today I will lock it down longer, and then eventually permanently."--Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 4 December 2008.

"I say we just delete it. Along with the archives"--Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 5 December 2008.

"Fuck this article and it's talk page. Stupid discussions unrelated to upkeep and editing are the only thing keeping this shit interesting. You guys take this shit WAY to srsly. Find another retard to stalk fgts"--Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 10 December 2008.</ref>

Encyclopedia Dramatica’s coverage of Chris and ''Sonichu'' became a victim of its own success: despite having many sub-pages to reduce pressure on the main article, ED could not cope with the continued growth of interest in Chris, especially in the aftermath of the FCTC posts. ED also experienced problems with misinformation on Chris, occasionally removing false or exaggerated rumors such as the claim that Chris attempted to molest Patti, or that Ivy was just a blow-up doll.

On 25 January 2009, five days after one of Chris’s [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|biggest revelations]], the [[CWCki]] came into existence: those interested in Chris’s antics quickly found the CWCki to be more accurate and less biased or exaggerated than ED, with TV Tropes once describing the CWCki to be "more accurate and slightly more SFW" than ED.

ED’s coverage of Chris continued to get updates until [[April 2011]], when ED relaunched as '''''Oh Internet''''': ''Oh Internet'' was an attempt to raise the revenue required to stay online by removing controversial content that would deter advertisers. However, the move also reduced coverage of Chris to a single page, and left out much of the crucial content that defined Chris, such as [[CWCville]].<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20120731163509/http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Chris-chan] on ''Oh Internet''</ref>

In [[October 2013]], ''Oh Internet'' quietly went offline following internal disputes and divisions over the 2011 relaunch, and work began on rebuilding Encyclopedia Dramatica by scraping articles and images from archived websites: ED then struggled to stay online through numerous domains over the years. As of {{CURRENTYEAR}}, ED and their coverage of Chris and ''Sonichu'' barely cling on to life, with most of the information long superseded by [[CWCki|this very wiki]]. In a sense, Chris has sort of triumphed over ED by means of outlasting them in terms of overall relevancy, but at a great cost to himself and the people associated with him.

As for Chris himself, the ED page bothered him for years, and presumably still does, but he rarely mentions it anymore. An [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|entire page]] of Chris's website, established in [[December 2009]], was dedicated to "correcting" the evil ED article with his own True and Honest take on the situation. Naturally, it was all about how Chris isn't remotely responsible for anything he has done wrong, and how it's all the fault of his [[autism]] or those DANG DIRTY TROLLS. However, Chris's worsening grasp on [[reality]], and changing priorities on [[CWC's Hallmark Negative Life Events|other enemies]], caused his rage against ED to decline to a point where he only made occasional references.<ref>[[July 2012 Facebook posts#E.D. is back up]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==

*[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]
*[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell interview]]
*[[4-cent garbage]]
*[[Chris's sex joke]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.mediafire.com/?6m7hk01609e4e7k Google Cache of Chris's ED article]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)
*[https://dramatica.online/index.php?title=Chris-chan Chris's page on the "new" "new" "new" "new" ED]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20090216213714/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Reldnahc Chris's ED account]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20120731163509/http://ohinternet.com/Chris-chan Oh Internet article (SFW!)]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20071104144918/http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan Earliest archived version of the "Chris-chan" page on the Wayback Machine.]

{{Sagas}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Count Graduon

2021-11-14T18:22:03Z

DougShanz:

{{Infobox Character
| image = Count Graduon alive.jpg
| name = Count Graduon
| day =17
| month = 11
| year = 1433
| birthsrc = <ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Page 1 (damaged).jpg]]</ref>
| gender = Male
| species = Evil wizard, later spirit living in a scepter
| allies = [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

'''Count Graduon''' was the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the title of a middle-ranking nobleman in European society. Despite being envisioned as the overarching director of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|campaign]] against [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] and the driving force of Chris and [[Sonichu]]'s enemies, the ensemble cast of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon apparently never take the time to learn anything about him, leaving the reader in the dark about his motivations and importance.

Graduon's name (pronounced [ˈɡrædʒ.uː.ən], "GRADGE-oo-un") derives from [[Chris]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> [[Chris and ego| Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being exiled from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends.]] He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that this man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (along with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]) is inspired by evil wizards and evil twins from various TV shows, movies, [[anime]], and book stories.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The true form of Count Graduon]]

In the original canon, according to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian to this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes Iseli|Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them. It is also unknown as to how and when he aligned himself with Mary Lee Walsh.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the [[Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses the deactivated [[Metal Sonichu]], and prepares to return to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh - now [[Retroactive_continuity_in_Sonichu|inexplicably]] called Slaweel Ryam - due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but, after Sonichu saved her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam so she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

During the development of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris claimed that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

In [[September 2015]], after taking up Sonichu #11 again, Chris teased his fans with the information that Graduon had originally been a physically diminutive "expert wizard and a master of his witchcraft" in the 14th century. Tormented and misunderstood, he took it out on the world by harassing women and generally becoming a maleficent sorcerer. He was executed and his soul was trapped until Slaweel Ryam released it. Chris hinted that Graduon might again assume corporeal form in the future.<ref>[[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Count Graduon Amiibo Figure (From Original Creator)]]</ref>

In a conversation on Etsy, upon being asked about Graduon's nationality (seeing as how he was trapped in his sphere by a Cherokee Indian and yet appears very white, Chris said "''"he was in Medieval times; the times of castles, Queens and Kings, Wizards, Witches and Sorcerers; reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot. I had not really thought of Nationality, but if I had to say, I would definitely put him around London [[Honor Roll|or]] UK."''"

Count Graduon will have a story revolving around him in [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], formerly [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]] before Chris reordered the comics. From what little has been released, Chris has written a new origin for him. The new canon, according to [[Sonichu 16]], has his new origin being of him born into British nobility on 17 November 1433; taking part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Years%27_War| Hundred Years' War,] dying in battle at the hands of a French soldier in 1448. He was then reborn a second time on 17 November 1733, with his memories of his past life still present. He would later take part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War| American Revolutionary War,] fighting for the Redcoats. After the war, he lived with a family of [[Chris and Race| Jewish wizards]], where he learned magic from them in his last ten years of his life. In his third life, he was reborn as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery| Bernard Montgomery]; taking parts in both World Wars and eventually dying on 24 March 1976. Count Graduon is currently in his fourth life.

{{Wise|Count Graduon made peace with Chris and helped him in [[Operation BARBarossa]], generously contributing land for prison camps with showers and ovens 'to keep prisoners warm'.}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Count Graduon alive.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Count Graduon in the comics.]]
Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] contained inside a steel scepter, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple ''finial'' on top of it. This may be inspired by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a buzzard on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a cape.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

In [[September 2015]] Chris revealed an image of Graduon in human form, before his soul was ensphered, showing him with pointed boots, a goatee, and a facial scar in the shape of a pentagram. He explained on [[Facebook]] that Graduon "wore a girdle to hide his muffin top" and had "[a] sharp chin, sharp nose, sharp eyelids."<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Muffin Top and Goatee Equals Bad Guy]]</ref> Chris later created an [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] and a Mii to support this design, and topped it off with several videos of Graduon commanding a squadron of [[Jerkops]] to assist him in fights against [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
File:Count_Graduon.jpg|Trapped in the wand.
File:GraduonC.jpg|Image of Graduon Chris chose to advertise his [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]].
File:GraduonD.jpg|Another.
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg|Done by [[Jack Thaddeus]]
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg|Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
Image:Graduon2.png|A CGI render of Graduon in his sceptre.
File:GraduonAmiibo.jpg|Graduon [[Amiibo]].
File:MiiGraduon.jpg|Graduon in Super Smash Bros., looking considerably more intact than his Amiibo.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana]]
*[[The Moon]]
{{DEFAULTSORT: Graduon, Count}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Villains]]

{{Sonichu}}

Count Graduon

2021-11-14T18:20:21Z

DougShanz: /* Appearance */

{{Infobox Character
| image = Count Graduon alive.jpg
| name = Count Graduon
| day =17
| month = 11
| year = 1433
| birthsrc = <ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Page 1 (damaged).jpg]]</ref>
| gender = Male
| species = Evil wizard, later spirit living in a scepter
| allies = [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

'''Count Graduon''' was the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the title of a middle-ranking nobleman in European society. Despite being envisioned as the overarching director of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|campaign]] against [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] and the driving force of Chris and [[Sonichu]]'s enemies, the ensemble cast of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon apparently never take the time to learn anything about him, leaving the reader in the dark about his motivations and importance.

Graduon's name (pronounced [ˈɡrædʒ.uː.ən], "GRADGE-oo-un") derives from [[Chris]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being exiled from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that this man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (along with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]) is inspired by evil wizards and evil twins from various TV shows, movies, [[anime]], and book stories.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The true form of Count Graduon]]

In the original canon, according to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian to this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes Iseli|Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them. It is also unknown as to how and when he aligned himself with Mary Lee Walsh.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the [[Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses the deactivated [[Metal Sonichu]], and prepares to return to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh - now [[Retroactive_continuity_in_Sonichu|inexplicably]] called Slaweel Ryam - due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but, after Sonichu saved her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam so she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

During the development of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris claimed that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

In [[September 2015]], after taking up Sonichu #11 again, Chris teased his fans with the information that Graduon had originally been a physically diminutive "expert wizard and a master of his witchcraft" in the 14th century. Tormented and misunderstood, he took it out on the world by harassing women and generally becoming a maleficent sorcerer. He was executed and his soul was trapped until Slaweel Ryam released it. Chris hinted that Graduon might again assume corporeal form in the future.<ref>[[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Count Graduon Amiibo Figure (From Original Creator)]]</ref>

In a conversation on Etsy, upon being asked about Graduon's nationality (seeing as how he was trapped in his sphere by a Cherokee Indian and yet appears very white, Chris said "''"he was in Medieval times; the times of castles, Queens and Kings, Wizards, Witches and Sorcerers; reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot. I had not really thought of Nationality, but if I had to say, I would definitely put him around London [[Honor Roll|or]] UK."''"

Count Graduon will have a story revolving around him in [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], formerly [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]] before Chris reordered the comics. From what little has been released, Chris has written a new origin for him. The new canon, according to [[Sonichu 16]], has his new origin being of him born into British nobility on 17 November 1433; taking part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Years%27_War| Hundred Years' War,] dying in battle at the hands of a French soldier in 1448. He was then reborn a second time on 17 November 1733, with his memories of his past life still present. He would later take part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War| American Revolutionary War,] fighting for the Redcoats. After the war, he lived with a family of [[Chris and Race| Jewish wizards]], where he learned magic from them in his last ten years of his life. In his third life, he was reborn as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery| Bernard Montgomery]; taking parts in both World Wars and eventually dying on 24 March 1976. Count Graduon is currently in his fourth life.

{{Wise|Count Graduon made peace with Chris and helped him in [[Operation BARBarossa]], generously contributing land for prison camps with showers and ovens 'to keep prisoners warm'.}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Count Graduon alive.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Count Graduon in the comics.]]
Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] contained inside a steel scepter, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple ''finial'' on top of it. This may be inspired by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a buzzard on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a cape.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

In [[September 2015]] Chris revealed an image of Graduon in human form, before his soul was ensphered, showing him with pointed boots, a goatee, and a facial scar in the shape of a pentagram. He explained on [[Facebook]] that Graduon "wore a girdle to hide his muffin top" and had "[a] sharp chin, sharp nose, sharp eyelids."<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Muffin Top and Goatee Equals Bad Guy]]</ref> Chris later created an [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] and a Mii to support this design, and topped it off with several videos of Graduon commanding a squadron of [[Jerkops]] to assist him in fights against [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
File:Count_Graduon.jpg|Trapped in the wand.
File:GraduonC.jpg|Image of Graduon Chris chose to advertise his [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]].
File:GraduonD.jpg|Another.
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg|Done by [[Jack Thaddeus]]
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg|Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
Image:Graduon2.png|A CGI render of Graduon in his sceptre.
File:GraduonAmiibo.jpg|Graduon [[Amiibo]].
File:MiiGraduon.jpg|Graduon in Super Smash Bros., looking considerably more intact than his Amiibo.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana]]
*[[The Moon]]
{{DEFAULTSORT: Graduon, Count}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Villains]]

{{Sonichu}}

Count Graduon

2021-11-14T18:19:43Z

DougShanz: /* In the comic */

{{Infobox Character
| image = Count Graduon alive.jpg
| name = Count Graduon
| day =17
| month = 11
| year = 1433
| birthsrc = <ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Page 1 (damaged).jpg]]</ref>
| gender = Male
| species = Evil wizard, later spirit living in a scepter
| allies = [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

'''Count Graduon''' was the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the title of a middle-ranking nobleman in European society. Despite being envisioned as the overarching director of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|campaign]] against [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] and the driving force of Chris and [[Sonichu]]'s enemies, the ensemble cast of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon apparently never take the time to learn anything about him, leaving the reader in the dark about his motivations and importance.

Graduon's name (pronounced [ˈɡrædʒ.uː.ən], "GRADGE-oo-un") derives from [[Chris]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being exiled from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that this man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (along with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]) is inspired by evil wizards and evil twins from various TV shows, movies, [[anime]], and book stories.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The true form of Count Graduon]]

In the original canon, according to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian to this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes Iseli|Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them. It is also unknown as to how and when he aligned himself with Mary Lee Walsh.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the [[Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses the deactivated [[Metal Sonichu]], and prepares to return to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh - now [[Retroactive_continuity_in_Sonichu|inexplicably]] called Slaweel Ryam - due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but, after Sonichu saved her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam so she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

During the development of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris claimed that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

In [[September 2015]], after taking up Sonichu #11 again, Chris teased his fans with the information that Graduon had originally been a physically diminutive "expert wizard and a master of his witchcraft" in the 14th century. Tormented and misunderstood, he took it out on the world by harassing women and generally becoming a maleficent sorcerer. He was executed and his soul was trapped until Slaweel Ryam released it. Chris hinted that Graduon might again assume corporeal form in the future.<ref>[[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Count Graduon Amiibo Figure (From Original Creator)]]</ref>

In a conversation on Etsy, upon being asked about Graduon's nationality (seeing as how he was trapped in his sphere by a Cherokee Indian and yet appears very white, Chris said "''"he was in Medieval times; the times of castles, Queens and Kings, Wizards, Witches and Sorcerers; reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot. I had not really thought of Nationality, but if I had to say, I would definitely put him around London [[Honor Roll|or]] UK."''"

Count Graduon will have a story revolving around him in [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], formerly [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]] before Chris reordered the comics. From what little has been released, Chris has written a new origin for him. The new canon, according to [[Sonichu 16]], has his new origin being of him born into British nobility on 17 November 1433; taking part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Years%27_War| Hundred Years' War,] dying in battle at the hands of a French soldier in 1448. He was then reborn a second time on 17 November 1733, with his memories of his past life still present. He would later take part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War| American Revolutionary War,] fighting for the Redcoats. After the war, he lived with a family of [[Chris and Race| Jewish wizards]], where he learned magic from them in his last ten years of his life. In his third life, he was reborn as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery| Bernard Montgomery]; taking parts in both World Wars and eventually dying on 24 March 1976. Count Graduon is currently in his fourth life.

{{Wise|Count Graduon made peace with Chris and helped him in [[Operation BARBarossa]], generously contributing land for prison camps with showers and ovens 'to keep prisoners warm'.}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Count Graduon alive.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Count Graduon in life.]]
Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] contained inside a steel scepter, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple ''finial'' on top of it. This may be inspired by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a buzzard on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a cape.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

In [[September 2015]] Chris revealed an image of Graduon in human form, before his soul was ensphered, showing him with pointed boots, a goatee, and a facial scar in the shape of a pentagram. He explained on [[Facebook]] that Graduon "wore a girdle to hide his muffin top" and had "[a] sharp chin, sharp nose, sharp eyelids."<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Muffin Top and Goatee Equals Bad Guy]]</ref> Chris later created an [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] and a Mii to support this design, and topped it off with several videos of Graduon commanding a squadron of [[Jerkops]] to assist him in fights against [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
File:Count_Graduon.jpg|Trapped in the wand.
File:GraduonC.jpg|Image of Graduon Chris chose to advertise his [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]].
File:GraduonD.jpg|Another.
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg|Done by [[Jack Thaddeus]]
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg|Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
Image:Graduon2.png|A CGI render of Graduon in his sceptre.
File:GraduonAmiibo.jpg|Graduon [[Amiibo]].
File:MiiGraduon.jpg|Graduon in Super Smash Bros., looking considerably more intact than his Amiibo.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana]]
*[[The Moon]]
{{DEFAULTSORT: Graduon, Count}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Villains]]

{{Sonichu}}

Count Graduon

2021-11-14T18:18:21Z

DougShanz: /* In the comic */

{{Infobox Character
| image = Count Graduon alive.jpg
| name = Count Graduon
| day =17
| month = 11
| year = 1433
| birthsrc = <ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Page 1 (damaged).jpg]]</ref>
| gender = Male
| species = Evil wizard, later spirit living in a scepter
| allies = [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

'''Count Graduon''' was the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the title of a middle-ranking nobleman in European society. Despite being envisioned as the overarching director of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|campaign]] against [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] and the driving force of Chris and [[Sonichu]]'s enemies, the ensemble cast of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon apparently never take the time to learn anything about him, leaving the reader in the dark about his motivations and importance.

Graduon's name (pronounced [ˈɡrædʒ.uː.ən], "GRADGE-oo-un") derives from [[Chris]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being exiled from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that this man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (along with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]) is inspired by evil wizards and evil twins from various TV shows, movies, [[anime]], and book stories.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The true form of Count Graduon]]

In the original canon, according to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian to this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes Iseli|Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them. It is also unknown as to how and when he aligned himself with Mary Lee Walsh.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the [[Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses the deactivated [[Metal Sonichu]], and prepares to return to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh - now [[Retroactive_continuity_in_Sonichu|inexplicably]] called Slaweel Ryam - due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but, after Sonichu saved her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam so she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

During the development of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris claimed that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

In [[September 2015]], after taking up Sonichu #11 again, Chris teased his fans with the information that Graduon had originally been a physically diminutive "expert wizard and a master of his witchcraft" in the 14th century. Tormented and misunderstood, he took it out on the world by harassing women and generally becoming a maleficent sorcerer. He was executed and his soul was trapped until Slaweel Ryam released it. Chris hinted that Graduon might again assume corporeal form in the future.<ref>[[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Count Graduon Amiibo Figure (From Original Creator)]]</ref>

In a conversation on Etsy, upon being asked about Graduon's nationality (seeing as how he was trapped in his sphere by a Cherokee Indian and yet appears very white, Chris said "''"he was in Medieval times; the times of castles, Queens and Kings, Wizards, Witches and Sorcerers; reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot. I had not really thought of Nationality, but if I had to say, I would definitely put him around London [[Honor Roll|or]] UK."''"

Count Graduon will have a story revolving around him in [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], formerly [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]] before Chris reordered the comics. From what little has been released, Chris has written a new origin for him. The new canon, according to [[Sonichu 16]], has his new origin being of him born into British nobility on 17 November 1433; taking part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Years%27_War| Hundred Years' War,] dying in battle at the hands of a French soldier in 1448. He was then reborn a second time on 17 November 1733, with his memories of his past life still present. He would later take part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War| American Revolutionary War,] fighting for the Redcoats. After the war, he lived with a family of Jewish wizards, where he learned magic from them in his last ten years of his life. In his third life, he was reborn as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery| Bernard Montgomery]; taking parts in both World Wars and eventually dying on 24 March 1976. Count Graduon is currently in his fourth life.

{{Wise|Count Graduon made peace with Chris and helped him in [[Operation BARBarossa]], generously contributing land for prison camps with showers and ovens 'to keep prisoners warm'.}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Count Graduon alive.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Count Graduon in life.]]
Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] contained inside a steel scepter, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple ''finial'' on top of it. This may be inspired by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a buzzard on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a cape.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

In [[September 2015]] Chris revealed an image of Graduon in human form, before his soul was ensphered, showing him with pointed boots, a goatee, and a facial scar in the shape of a pentagram. He explained on [[Facebook]] that Graduon "wore a girdle to hide his muffin top" and had "[a] sharp chin, sharp nose, sharp eyelids."<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Muffin Top and Goatee Equals Bad Guy]]</ref> Chris later created an [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] and a Mii to support this design, and topped it off with several videos of Graduon commanding a squadron of [[Jerkops]] to assist him in fights against [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
File:Count_Graduon.jpg|Trapped in the wand.
File:GraduonC.jpg|Image of Graduon Chris chose to advertise his [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]].
File:GraduonD.jpg|Another.
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg|Done by [[Jack Thaddeus]]
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg|Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
Image:Graduon2.png|A CGI render of Graduon in his sceptre.
File:GraduonAmiibo.jpg|Graduon [[Amiibo]].
File:MiiGraduon.jpg|Graduon in Super Smash Bros., looking considerably more intact than his Amiibo.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana]]
*[[The Moon]]
{{DEFAULTSORT: Graduon, Count}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Villains]]

{{Sonichu}}

Count Graduon

2021-11-14T18:17:59Z

DougShanz: /* In the comic */

{{Infobox Character
| image = Count Graduon alive.jpg
| name = Count Graduon
| day =17
| month = 11
| year = 1433
| birthsrc = <ref>[[:File:Sonichu - Issue 16, Page 1 (damaged).jpg]]</ref>
| gender = Male
| species = Evil wizard, later spirit living in a scepter
| allies = [[Mary Lee Walsh]]
}}

'''Count Graduon''' was the prime mover behind the forces of evil in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Count Graduon is an ancient evil spirit residing in the scepter of the evil witch [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Despite being a supernatural being of great power who threatened the [[Cherokian Clan|ancient Native Americans]], Graduon inexplicably holds the title of a middle-ranking nobleman in European society. Despite being envisioned as the overarching director of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|campaign]] against [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] and the driving force of Chris and [[Sonichu]]'s enemies, the ensemble cast of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon apparently never take the time to learn anything about him, leaving the reader in the dark about his motivations and importance.

Graduon's name (pronounced [ˈɡrædʒ.uː.ən], "GRADGE-oo-un") derives from [[Chris]]'s feelings about his '''gradu'''ati'''on''' from [[Manchester High School|high school]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Beyond his anger and embarrassment about not receiving special treatment at his class's commencement ceremony, Christian likens his departure from high school to being exiled from comfortable surroundings and cherished friends. He also regards his efforts to adjust to life after school as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|great adventure story]], so it should perhaps come as no surprise that this man-child's greatest enemy is a metaphor for growing up.

Chris claims that Graduon (along with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]]) is inspired by evil wizards and evil twins from various TV shows, movies, [[anime]], and book stories.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref>

==In the comic==
[[Image:Graduon.png|thumb|150px|The true form of Count Graduon]]

In the original canon, according to the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], Count Graduon is an ancient being of supreme evil sealed away by the leaders of the [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] and [[Wasabi Clan|Wasabi]] clans. Interestingly enough, despite being trapped for thousands of years, Graduon was able to go to [[the Moon]] and teach [[Silvana]], as well as give her a [[pickle|penis]].

The Prophecy foretold that upon its own discovery by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], Graduon would be released from his imprisonment to endanger mankind. Once Sonichu alerted Christian to this fact, Chris accepted the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]] in order to find and defeat Graduon.

When Chris-Chan, [[Wes Iseli|Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Saramah Rosechu]] discovered the ancient evil they were looking for, they found an enormous golem marauding through [[CWCville]] at the behest of Mary Lee Walsh. It was soon revealed that Walsh's scepter contained the evil spirit, who identified itself as Count Graduon after the three prophesied electric creatures defeated the golem.

Graduon has not yet established his motive for aligning with Mary Lee Walsh and targeting Christian, his city, and his friends. It may be inferred from the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] though, that Chris's super powers are a critical threat to Graduon's evil, so therefore he seems to ally with her primarily because they see him as a common enemy, but for their own reasons between them. It is also unknown as to how and when he aligned himself with Mary Lee Walsh.

Christian has stated that at the end of the "first season", he will fling Count Graduon to the [[Moon]], breaking the staff in which he is imprisoned. He then hinted (in other words, [[Chris and writing|revealed]]) that whilst he is there, Graduon finds and possesses the deactivated [[Metal Sonichu]], and prepares to return to [[CWCville]] as a new villain. His primary motive might be to use the robotic copy as a replacement vessel for his broken staff, but it's speculated that Metal Sonichu will get to battle [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (or [[Chris and his Ego|Chris]], depending on how you look at it) again if the story continues.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], it is revealed that he cannot stand Mary Lee Walsh - now [[Retroactive_continuity_in_Sonichu|inexplicably]] called Slaweel Ryam - due to her inability to either defeat Chris and his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], nor free him or give him a new body. He was content to let her die when she nearly fell off a platform whilst fighting Sonichu, but, after Sonichu saved her, he holds off and waits for a chance to utterly remove her from the picture.

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], however, Chris smashes the staff at the behest of Slaweel Ryam so she can "punish him another day". Whatever this might mean, it looks like Graduon is out of the picture for the time being. This is not entirely unconnected to the rapid rise of [[Asperchu]] as the primary source of Chris's ire.

During the development of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris claimed that Graduon will return: ''"[[Metal Sonichu|METAL SONICHU]] is NOT a secondary character; HE will be making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon."''<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref><ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> However, he later said that this would happen in "[[Sonichu 12|12]] or later."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

In [[September 2015]], after taking up Sonichu #11 again, Chris teased his fans with the information that Graduon had originally been a physically diminutive "expert wizard and a master of his witchcraft" in the 14th century. Tormented and misunderstood, he took it out on the world by harassing women and generally becoming a maleficent sorcerer. He was executed and his soul was trapped until Slaweel Ryam released it. Chris hinted that Graduon might again assume corporeal form in the future.<ref>[[Sonichu Amiibo#Custom Count Graduon Amiibo Figure (From Original Creator)]]</ref>

In a conversation on Etsy, upon being asked about Graduon's nationality (seeing as how he was trapped in his sphere by a Cherokee Indian and yet appears very white, Chris said "''"he was in Medieval times; the times of castles, Queens and Kings, Wizards, Witches and Sorcerers; reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot. I had not really thought of Nationality, but if I had to say, I would definitely put him around London [[Honor Roll|or]] UK."''"

Count Graduon will have a story revolving around him in [[Sonichu 16|''Sonichu'' #16]], formerly [[Sonichu 14|''Sonichu'' #14]] before Chris reordered the comics. From what little has been released, Chris has written a new origin for him. The new canon, according to [[Sonichu 16]], has his new origin being of him born into British nobility on 17 November 1433; taking part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hundred_Years%27_War| Hundred Years' War,] dying in battle at the hands of a French soldier in 1448. He was then reborn a second time on 17 November 1733, with his memories of his past life still present. He would later take part in the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolutionary_War| American Revolutionary War,] fighting for the Redcoats. After the war, he lived with a family of Jewish wizards, where he learned magic from them in his last ten years of his life. In his third life, he was reborn as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery|Bernard Montgomery]; taking parts in both World Wars and eventually dying on 24 March 1976. Count Graduon is currently in his fourth life.

{{Wise|Count Graduon made peace with Chris and helped him in [[Operation BARBarossa]], generously contributing land for prison camps with showers and ovens 'to keep prisoners warm'.}}

==Appearance==
[[File:Count Graduon alive.jpg|200px|left|thumb|Count Graduon in life.]]
Count Graduon is shown mostly as an [[Wikipedia:Energy being|energy being]] contained inside a steel scepter, presumably with the immeasurable evil being trapped inside the purple ''finial'' on top of it. This may be inspired by ''[[The Adventures of The American Rabbit]]'', in which the main villain, Vultor, is a buzzard on top of a staff.

Issue #9 shows his anthropoid form as either a "[[Wikipedia:Greys|Gray]]" alien with purple eyes, an albino gingerbread man, an ersatz [[Harry Potter|Lord Voldemort]] or a dark silhouette that Chris could not be bothered to color. He also has angry-looking purple eyes, and for whatever reason, he is seen sporting a cape.

In ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' however, he takes on a different and somewhat more intimidating appearance, still retaining the similar eyes and basic body shape, but is instead a purple color, with blue and white muscle tissue-like strings on his body, darker purple-red eyes, and spiked wing-like growths protruding from his back and head, making him somewhat resemble [[Wikipedia:Super Smash Bros. (series)#Tabuu|Tabuu]] from the [[Nintendo|''Super Smash Bros.'' series]].

In [[September 2015]] Chris revealed an image of Graduon in human form, before his soul was ensphered, showing him with pointed boots, a goatee, and a facial scar in the shape of a pentagram. He explained on [[Facebook]] that Graduon "wore a girdle to hide his muffin top" and had "[a] sharp chin, sharp nose, sharp eyelids."<ref>[[September 2015 Facebook Posts#Muffin Top and Goatee Equals Bad Guy]]</ref> Chris later created an [[Sonichu Amiibo|Amiibo]] and a Mii to support this design, and topped it off with several videos of Graduon commanding a squadron of [[Jerkops]] to assist him in fights against [[Mary Lee Walsh]].

Amazingly, Graduon might be one of Chris's more "original" characters, even if he is mostly just the living personification of negative feelings towards his graduation.
{{clear}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
File:Count_Graduon.jpg|Trapped in the wand.
File:GraduonC.jpg|Image of Graduon Chris chose to advertise his [[Amiibo]] on [[Etsy]].
File:GraduonD.jpg|Another.
Image:CountGraduon_11302009cwcki.jpg|Done by [[Jack Thaddeus]]
Image:ModNation CountGraduon.jpg|Graduon as he appears in ''[[ModNation Racers]]''.
Image:Graduon2.png|A CGI render of Graduon in his sceptre.
File:GraduonAmiibo.jpg|Graduon [[Amiibo]].
File:MiiGraduon.jpg|Graduon in Super Smash Bros., looking considerably more intact than his Amiibo.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also:==

{{Fan art}}
*[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Silvana]]
*[[The Moon]]
{{DEFAULTSORT: Graduon, Count}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Villains]]

{{Sonichu}}

Akan

2021-11-14T18:16:01Z

DougShanz:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Akan’s message of worshipping him as leader of all worlds will be broadcasted subliminally, and his reign will spread into Our World from our Sister Dimension there!|Chris on [[My Little Pony Protests|why Hasbro should not reboot]] ''[[My Little Pony]]''.<ref name=schizo>[[August 2018 social media posts#MLP protest part 6]]</ref>}}

[[File:Akan.png|thumb|This [[Chris|motherfucker]] looks like {{w|Carpenter Brut}} music should be playing everywhere he goes.]]
'''Akan''' (Russian: Акан) is the main villain of the 2015 action film ''{{w|Hardcore Henry|Hardcore Henry}}'' and a villain introduced into ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' by the [[Idea Guys]].<ref name=qa>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref> He is a [[Molvania|Russian]] [[Chris and money|billionaire]] and [[Chris and the law|crime lord]] with [[Magi-Chan|powerful psychic abilities]]. Akan is significant for being the first major Sonichu antagonist to not be associated with [[Count Graduon]] or the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. As of the end of [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]], Akan is apparently the only villain introduced in the story that is still active, the others either being subdued, destroyed or redeemed. Inexplicably, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] also believes Akan will conquer the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' universe, and then our own, should the corporation Hasbro reboot the franchise; this serves as a partial justification for [[My Little Pony Protests|his ongoing protests of ''My Little Pony'' Generation 4.5 and the inevitable arrival of Generation 5 that will soon follow]].

Akan was most likely added to the comic because the Idea Guys had an obsession with the video game ''Payday 2'', which featured Akan in a cameo role as part of a cross-promotional event for ''Hardcore Henry''.

==Red Forest audio clip==
{{quote|But what really won Chris over was this first-time audio I did to make him think the Neptunia characters were in our world, and this was a battle between them and the mystery Russian Billionaire's forces.|The original Idea Guy.<ref name=qa></ref>}}

Akan is featured in [[Red Forest]], one of the audio clips mixed by the original Idea Guy in order to influence Chris's beliefs. In it, John Yamada (Idea Guy's character) and some of the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' goddesses are attacked by Akan; the audio composed of voice clips taken from various media.

==Events of ''[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]''==
Akan, alongside Monika from ''Doki Doki Literature Club'' and several evil CPUs from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', launched a full-scale assault on the city of [[CWCville]] in 2018, with Akan being backed up by an army of Russian mercenaries. Throughout his brief time in the comic, Akan is shown to have powers and abilities similar to Chris, making him somewhat of an evil counterpart to him.

The invading forces were able to take over the Subdivision Area of CWCville, with Akan taking over the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] and imposed a puppet mayor through whom he could rule. Chris destroyed the mall with a nuclear explosion to thwart Akan. Shortly later, Chris restored the mall and all the people in in, save for Akan, assuming he was dead.

[[File:CPUBattle.jpg|thumb|left|Fan art depicting [[CPU Blue Heart]] fighting Akan as a dragon.]]

However, Akan survived and shortly after, moved in to the C-197 version of Chris' home just to vandalize it. This enraged Chris, who sent the CWCville Defense Force to find and captured him. However, he escaped and vanished from the comic thereafter. Later, [[Magi-Chan]] tells Chris that Akan has been posing as [[Chris and religion|Godjesus]] to people in visions to manipulate and confuse them. This leads Chris to conclude that his previous "visions" from of God speaking to him were actually Akan fooling him. This revelation is one of Chris' major motivations for renouncing Christianity and worshiping the "CPU Goddesses" from Neptunia.

Akan's current whereabouts and status are unknown, though it's likely he is still active. With Count Graduon becoming a good guy, it's possible Akan may take his place as the main antagonist of the comic. It's briefly mentioned in ''Sonichu'' #13 that CWCville has problems with gang wars between the Yakuza and Russian Mafia. It's possible Akan is connected to the Russian Mob.

==Post-Idea Guys==
Chris maintained belief in Akan after the ousting of the Idea Guys. In August 2018, reacting to news that Hasbro would reboot its ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchise, Chris tried to convince the corporation that if they proceeded, Akan would be able to conquer Equestria, a setting in the ''My Little Pony'' franchise, and then use his powers to plant [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|subliminal messages]] to manipulate [[Chris and reality|reality]].<ref name=schizo></ref>

Hasbro did not respond to Chris's pleas.

==Akan as a coping mechanism==
Though the idea that Akan was imitating God may have originally come from the Idea Guys, Chris is still 100% convinced it really happened and uses that as the reason none of his "visions" from God ever came true. This is quite clearly a way to maintain his delusions of grandeur and supernatural importance despite their contradictions to reality. God appeared to you but told you the wrong thing? It must be a supervillain posing as him! It couldn't possibly be that you were just imagining it all, or that you don't really have magical powers and aren't part of a magical prophecy! The most logical explanation is that an evil Russian crime boss with magic powers is secretly after you!

The Akan theory allows Chris to maintain his fantasy of godlike-power and importance without having to question why his predictions never seem to come true. It's also sad to know that a villain from a gimmicky, mediocre action movie inspired someone to renounce their religion.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}
[[Category: Villains]]
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category: Plot Devices]]

Akan

2021-11-14T18:15:40Z

DougShanz:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|Akan’s message of worshipping him as leader of all worlds will be broadcasted subliminally, and his reign will spread into Our World from our Sister Dimension there!|Chris on [[My Little Pony Protests|why Hasbro should not reboot]] ''[[My Little Pony]]''.<ref name=schizo>[[August 2018 social media posts#MLP protest part 6]]</ref>}}

[[File:Akan.png|thumb|This [[motherfucker|Chris]] looks like {{w|Carpenter Brut}} music should be playing everywhere he goes.]]
'''Akan''' (Russian: Акан) is the main villain of the 2015 action film ''{{w|Hardcore Henry|Hardcore Henry}}'' and a villain introduced into ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' by the [[Idea Guys]].<ref name=qa>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref> He is a [[Molvania|Russian]] [[Chris and money|billionaire]] and [[Chris and the law|crime lord]] with [[Magi-Chan|powerful psychic abilities]]. Akan is significant for being the first major Sonichu antagonist to not be associated with [[Count Graduon]] or the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. As of the end of [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]], Akan is apparently the only villain introduced in the story that is still active, the others either being subdued, destroyed or redeemed. Inexplicably, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] also believes Akan will conquer the ''[[My Little Pony]]'' universe, and then our own, should the corporation Hasbro reboot the franchise; this serves as a partial justification for [[My Little Pony Protests|his ongoing protests of ''My Little Pony'' Generation 4.5 and the inevitable arrival of Generation 5 that will soon follow]].

Akan was most likely added to the comic because the Idea Guys had an obsession with the video game ''Payday 2'', which featured Akan in a cameo role as part of a cross-promotional event for ''Hardcore Henry''.

==Red Forest audio clip==
{{quote|But what really won Chris over was this first-time audio I did to make him think the Neptunia characters were in our world, and this was a battle between them and the mystery Russian Billionaire's forces.|The original Idea Guy.<ref name=qa></ref>}}

Akan is featured in [[Red Forest]], one of the audio clips mixed by the original Idea Guy in order to influence Chris's beliefs. In it, John Yamada (Idea Guy's character) and some of the ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'' goddesses are attacked by Akan; the audio composed of voice clips taken from various media.

==Events of ''[[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]]''==
Akan, alongside Monika from ''Doki Doki Literature Club'' and several evil CPUs from ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', launched a full-scale assault on the city of [[CWCville]] in 2018, with Akan being backed up by an army of Russian mercenaries. Throughout his brief time in the comic, Akan is shown to have powers and abilities similar to Chris, making him somewhat of an evil counterpart to him.

The invading forces were able to take over the Subdivision Area of CWCville, with Akan taking over the [[CWCville Shopping Center]] and imposed a puppet mayor through whom he could rule. Chris destroyed the mall with a nuclear explosion to thwart Akan. Shortly later, Chris restored the mall and all the people in in, save for Akan, assuming he was dead.

[[File:CPUBattle.jpg|thumb|left|Fan art depicting [[CPU Blue Heart]] fighting Akan as a dragon.]]

However, Akan survived and shortly after, moved in to the C-197 version of Chris' home just to vandalize it. This enraged Chris, who sent the CWCville Defense Force to find and captured him. However, he escaped and vanished from the comic thereafter. Later, [[Magi-Chan]] tells Chris that Akan has been posing as [[Chris and religion|Godjesus]] to people in visions to manipulate and confuse them. This leads Chris to conclude that his previous "visions" from of God speaking to him were actually Akan fooling him. This revelation is one of Chris' major motivations for renouncing Christianity and worshiping the "CPU Goddesses" from Neptunia.

Akan's current whereabouts and status are unknown, though it's likely he is still active. With Count Graduon becoming a good guy, it's possible Akan may take his place as the main antagonist of the comic. It's briefly mentioned in ''Sonichu'' #13 that CWCville has problems with gang wars between the Yakuza and Russian Mafia. It's possible Akan is connected to the Russian Mob.

==Post-Idea Guys==
Chris maintained belief in Akan after the ousting of the Idea Guys. In August 2018, reacting to news that Hasbro would reboot its ''[[My Little Pony]]'' franchise, Chris tried to convince the corporation that if they proceeded, Akan would be able to conquer Equestria, a setting in the ''My Little Pony'' franchise, and then use his powers to plant [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis|subliminal messages]] to manipulate [[Chris and reality|reality]].<ref name=schizo></ref>

Hasbro did not respond to Chris's pleas.

==Akan as a coping mechanism==
Though the idea that Akan was imitating God may have originally come from the Idea Guys, Chris is still 100% convinced it really happened and uses that as the reason none of his "visions" from God ever came true. This is quite clearly a way to maintain his delusions of grandeur and supernatural importance despite their contradictions to reality. God appeared to you but told you the wrong thing? It must be a supervillain posing as him! It couldn't possibly be that you were just imagining it all, or that you don't really have magical powers and aren't part of a magical prophecy! The most logical explanation is that an evil Russian crime boss with magic powers is secretly after you!

The Akan theory allows Chris to maintain his fantasy of godlike-power and importance without having to question why his predictions never seem to come true. It's also sad to know that a villain from a gimmicky, mediocre action movie inspired someone to renounce their religion.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sonichu}}
{{Fantasies}}
[[Category: Villains]]
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category: Plot Devices]]

Template:ListOfVideos/2021

2021-11-14T18:12:38Z

DougShanz: /* July 2021 */

==February 2021==
*'''[[Fan visits#Aggravating Art|CHRIS CHAN DRIP OUT]]''' ''20 [[February 2021]]'' (0:04) {{Comedy}} {{Other}} [[Spirit possession|"Sonichu"]] is briefly recorded by a fan visiting [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] while wearing shoes.
*'''[[Chris Kisses Rosechu]]''' ''23 [[February 2021]]'' (0:53) {{Crazy}} {{Bella}} {{Leaked}} [[Spirit possession|"Sonichu"]] is recorded kissing an imaginary [[Rosechu]] in the Goochland Public Library by an unknown cameraman. The video was leaked on to the [[Kiwi Farms]] in [[August 2021]].

==May 2021==
*'''[[Twitter Voice Clip]]''' ''20 [[May 2021]]'' (0:11) {{Crazy}} {{Audio}} Chris shows off his falsetto.

*'''[[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground]]''' ''27 [[May 2021]]'' (2:12) {{Crazy}} {{Music}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} Chris sings the song "I'll Be Your Mirror" by The Velvet Underground.

==June 2021==
*'''[[OneyPlays Twitter Voice Clip]]''' ''19 [[June 2021]]'' (0:16) {{Comedy}} {{Audio}} Chris recites and [[Chris and his ego|surprisingly]] laughs at a joke making fun of him.
*'''[[Birthday Greetings to Devin]]''' ''19 [[June 2021]]'' (1:54) {{Comedy}} {{Reason}} {{Crazy}} {{Dimensional Merge}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} Chris sends a birthday shout-out to "Devin".
*'''[[Sylvia’s being comfy and a little bobble-headed]]''' ''20 [[June 2021]]'' (0:30) {{Reason}} Chris baby-talks and plays with his cat [[Liza, Patches and Sylvia|Sylvia]].
*'''[[Chris talking about the Binding of Isaac]]''' ''20 [[June 2021]]'' (0:17) {{Comedy}} {{Video games}} {{Bubblegumnightmare}} Chris briefly talks about a The Binding of Isaac game.

==July 2021==
*'''[[Help send Chris-Chan to Everfree NW]]''' ''9 [[July 2021]]'' (4:57) {{Reason}} {{Convention}} {{Business}} {{(Handouts)}} Chris promotes a GoFundMe campaign set up by [[Null]] so he can afford the trip to [[Everfree Northwest]], a ''[[My Little Pony]]'' convention in Seattle Washington.
*'''[[Paid Shout Out to Lifeguard Hermit]]''' ''9 [[July 2021]]'' (0:56) {{Reason}} {{Convention}} {{Business}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} Chris fulfills a shout-out and piece of artwork for an individual named Lifeguard Hermit who donated to the GoFundMe fundraiser.
*'''[[Chris Chan's shoutout to JoSona6]]''' ''14 [[July 2021]]'' (0:28) {{Reason}} {{Convention}} {{Business}} {{ManchildMeldownShirt}} Chris fulfills another shout-out video for the trip to [[Everfree Northwest]] campaign.
*'''[[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.]]''' ''27 [[July 2021]]'' (1:32) {{Rage}} {{Crazy}} {{GOPony}} {{Television}} {{Dimensional Merge}} Chris angrily demands that Hasbro cancels its fifth generation of ''[[My Little Pony]]''. [[Iron Curtain|Multiple punched-in holes in the hallway wall]] can be seen in the background throughout the video. Likely the last video Chris will upload for a [[Incest|while]].

Template:ListOfVideos/2021

2021-11-14T18:12:10Z

DougShanz: /* July 2021 */

Liquid Chris

2021-11-14T07:46:05Z

DougShanz: /* In the comic */

{{Improve|details and citations|expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga''}}
{{Troll}}
{{quote|Chris initially wanted to ignore Liquid. We had to tell him that if he didn't publicly refute Liquid, it could be used against him to steal the Sonichu copyright. Chris is lazy and, by default, ignores most trolling.|[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-16-06-we-need-immediate-funds-please.31624/post-2351871</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Liquid Chris
|image = CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|size=250px
|birthname = Christopher Morton Duckworth
|aliases = Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref> "The Previous Chris" "The Other Chris"<ref>[[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]</ref>
|year = 1990
|gender = Male
|nation = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = [[Kacey]]
|siblings = SimplySpoons (brother)
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|Musician]]
}}

'''Liquid Chris''' (real name: '''Christopher Duckworth'''; born 1990) claimed to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] '''Christian Weston Chandler''', and the one and only creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In reality, he was simply an impersonator on [[YouTube]] who initially just made videos to amuse himself and his friends. Liquid was played by identical twin brothers Chris and '''Jon Duckworth''' (born 1990). Chris portrayed Liquid on YouTube and in the PVCC Forums, while Jon portrayed him during the Sing-Star Challenge.

Liquid Chris gets his nickname from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', a video game which featured a storyline of the clone "brother" of the player character, Solid Snake (hence why [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is referred to as Solid Chris in this saga, as he will be for the remainder of this page). Eventually, Solid discovered Liquid, and he actually believed that he was an impostor trying to take credit for his glorious creation, rather than just being an impersonator. Once he was in Solid's sights, Liquid decided to up his game by playing along with his rivalry with Chris-Chan (as would his fans), and became a full-time [[Trolls|troll]].

Liquid insisted that he was the real Chris-Chan, and chose to address his counterpart as the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], based on the initials of his IBAChandler YouTube username. Liquid would eventually get into fights with Solid over [[Kacey]]'s heart, briefly halting production of videos when Liquid was kidnapped by Solid (portrayed by the other twin filming the video). Liquid made a triumphant return to defend Kacey's honor, and they retired from trolling Chris after "getting married". This saddened Chris, though he quickly got over it and moved onto finding another [[sweetheart]] after about a day.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for Solid [[Chris]] full of highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris<ref name="realprotest">[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

==A challenger appears==
{{protip|"Liquid Chris" was actually Christopher Duckworth, and he made no actual attempt to steal Chris's identity. It was just a comedic impersonation that Chris took too seriously. It should also be noted that Liquid tried to make it as blatantly obvious as possible in the beginning stages (i.e. stuffing a pillow in his shirt, paper cut-out medallion).}}
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
[[Image:Liquid VS Solid.png|"There's room for only one Chris, and one Mayor!" |thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100522150728/http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parody|parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* An official [[Sonichu medallion]] (made out of paper)
* A [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] (brown)
* [[Pedo-Glasses|A pair of rather bulky glasses which would look ridiculous on anybody else.]]
* [[Obesity]] (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* [[Speech impediment|A distinctive nasal voice]]
* [[Autism]]

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

==Ian Brandon Anderson==
{{main|Ian Brandon Anderson}}

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their dox (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his Rollin' and Trollin' video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

==The CWCivil War==
===Opening shots===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTOR|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC</nowiki>". HE IS CRAPPY, and [[Chris and English|his Nasal Voice]] is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; [[Chris and hypocrisy|NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours]] JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR [[Speech impediment|NASAL VOICE]] IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

===The battleground===

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC Update 29 July 2009#Liquid's_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.

As expected, the contest went to Liquid, the absolute chad, and Solid, as always, was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to get Liquid arrested for identity theft, dragging Bob into the debacle along the way:

{{quotebox|If you DO NOT COME CLEAN RIGHT NOW, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get FUCKING ARRESTED, THROWN IN JAIL AND YOU WILL NOT GET TO LIVE THE PEACEFUL, HAPPY LIFE THAT KACEY AND I WOULD LIKE ''YOU'' TO LIVE, BECAUSE KACEY REALLY CARES FOR YOU, ''MAN''!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===
On 14 August 2009, Liquid announced that he was departing YouTube for the time being to pursue turning his ''Sonichu'' series into an acclaimed media franchise.
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1pbi94LLabY}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is extremely disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5VEt7DgWMNk}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

==CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections. According to Liquid, he had been unlawfully detained in a meat-packing factory, and when he managed to escape, he found himself in Africa. With the assistance of a few others, Liquid managed to make his triumphant return to Ruckersville, and the stage was set from there on out.

In the [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid's behavior had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving TRUE and HONEST arms of the Liquid.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ni8d6CRSD1o}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
[[File:Liquid Chris.jpg|thumb|200px|[[TSSSF]] card Chris made of Liquid, eight years after the closing of the saga.]]

Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free girl]]s with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo|Nintendo DS]] and [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]], respectively. On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

Solid Chris then considered Liquid Chris a friend.

After Chris Duckworth abandoned his Liquid Chris persona, he acquired a BS in oncology, and he currently works as a cancer research doctor.<ref>https://www.targetedonc.com/news/tumor-growth-angiogenesis-ovarian-cancer-linked-to-key-adapter-protein</ref> Time will tell if his findings will bring us one step closer to the cure.

While Chris Duckworth has retired from trolling Chris-Chan, he recorded a [[parody]] of the theme song to ''{{w|The Cleveland Show}}'' at some point prior to [[November 2015]], when the video was reuploaded. The song was eventually animated as ''[[The Chris-Chan Show]]'' in [[November 2020]], which would attract the attention of Chris-Chan.

In the years since, Chris eventually forgot about much of the Liquid Chris saga.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref> However, in fall [[2019]] Chris created a [[TSSSF]] card of Liquid Chris, showing he still holds some animosity towards him – the card describes Liquid as a villain utilizing "pretentious acting".

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eL_mkCKuWXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

== Liquid's last statement ==
[[File:Liquid and Kacey.jpeg|thumb|200px|<s>Liquid</s> Chris and Kacey, happily married.]]
Hello All, 

I have been Enjoying the Married Life with my Sweetheart and making Several Hundred Thousand Dollars at Nintendo and Microsoft on Pokemon: Lightning Version and Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles for the Microsoft X-box. I do not have much time for the Youtube, but my Good Friend Dr. Aleksander Egorov (a Physics Animator) has taught me how to Edit Well. In my Spare Time, I have been honing my own Skills as an Editor. I created this Project for my Loyal Fans, who are STILL being TERRIBLY ANNOYED by the Fraud, Ian Brandon Anderson. It is Very Nice to have a home in Redmond, Washington now; I do not care for the fact that I do not stay in one place for long. Perhaps I will be coming to a Convention Near You, Sonichu fans. I thank God and Jesus every day for Each One of you. This is my message for now; Goodbye. 

Gladly to be Where I Am, 

Christian Weston Chandler 

PS: As I have SO MANY MESSAGES now, do not Trust that yours can, or will, be answered; I appreciate EVERY ONE, and all Nice Comments.

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]

[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Obesity|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning, worse still if it is a fun-house mirror made especially to [[parody|mock]] you.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Slow-in-the-minds|retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

 

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Ibachandlercroppedsmaller.jpg|Beel explains Liquid's fate|thumb|top|right]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!|left]]
[[Image:Liquids_end.png|The commission as first seen in Ben Saint's lecture|thumb|top|right]]

Despite being one of the most important events in Christory, the Liquid Saga is addressed in only two pages within the entirety of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. On 17 [[November 2009]], Liquid made his very first appearance in Solid' Chris's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Solid, being the slanderous impostor that he is, had the nerve to claim that Liquid's name was Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried (and failed) to convince everyone that he was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of the [[Sonichu]] franchise.

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] to cede control over [[CWCville]] to Liquid. This, however, has yet to be done.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

Since Liquid's fate in the comic remained nebulous at best, [[Ben Saint]] commissioned a piece from Solid Chris that explained Liquid's ultimate fate. To the surprise of Saint himself, Chris actually delivered. The piece was revealed in a YouTube lecture by Saint on the timeline of the Sonichu canon<ref>[[https://youtu.be/vFOIauPQ5XI?t=4433| Sonichu 101: A CWC Lecture]]</ref> and included commentary by [[Beel]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and Chris himself.

{{quote|So, you want to know the fate of the past impostor of Christian, as the original person was known? Simply put, [[IBAChandler]], he was dragged down to [[14 Branchland Court|hell]], punished of identity theft, and all of his memories and past incarnations reset. His soul was born a fresh blank into a newborn child, and his old body was burned in Hell's lava pool.|[[Beel]] in the commissioned art.}}

However, [[Sonichu 13]] its mentioned that an "Ian Brandon Anderson" was elected as the head police chief of [[CWCville]]. Whether these two were meant to be the same character (thus making the commissioned comic page non-canon) or a totally different person with a similar name was never explained.

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Theme Song - Caillou
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ipQvu7JoAbE}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 4 [[November 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

}}

==See also==
[[File:Chrischan_cosplay.jpg|thumb|''Liquidus'' Chris.]]
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWx5HnCkR0B0L6oPwjoiWsg The Liquid Archive]
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/The_Real_Chris-chan The Real Chris-chan] on the TRUE and HONEST [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

{{trolls}}
{{Sagas}}
{{people}}

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Liquid Chris

2021-11-14T07:44:33Z

DougShanz: /* In the comic */

{{Improve|details and citations|expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga''}}
{{Troll}}
{{quote|Chris initially wanted to ignore Liquid. We had to tell him that if he didn't publicly refute Liquid, it could be used against him to steal the Sonichu copyright. Chris is lazy and, by default, ignores most trolling.|[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-16-06-we-need-immediate-funds-please.31624/post-2351871</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Liquid Chris
|image = CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|size=250px
|birthname = Christopher Morton Duckworth
|aliases = Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref> "The Previous Chris" "The Other Chris"<ref>[[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]</ref>
|year = 1990
|gender = Male
|nation = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = [[Kacey]]
|siblings = SimplySpoons (brother)
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|Musician]]
}}

'''Liquid Chris''' (real name: '''Christopher Duckworth'''; born 1990) claimed to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] '''Christian Weston Chandler''', and the one and only creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In reality, he was simply an impersonator on [[YouTube]] who initially just made videos to amuse himself and his friends. Liquid was played by identical twin brothers Chris and '''Jon Duckworth''' (born 1990). Chris portrayed Liquid on YouTube and in the PVCC Forums, while Jon portrayed him during the Sing-Star Challenge.

Liquid Chris gets his nickname from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', a video game which featured a storyline of the clone "brother" of the player character, Solid Snake (hence why [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is referred to as Solid Chris in this saga, as he will be for the remainder of this page). Eventually, Solid discovered Liquid, and he actually believed that he was an impostor trying to take credit for his glorious creation, rather than just being an impersonator. Once he was in Solid's sights, Liquid decided to up his game by playing along with his rivalry with Chris-Chan (as would his fans), and became a full-time [[Trolls|troll]].

Liquid insisted that he was the real Chris-Chan, and chose to address his counterpart as the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], based on the initials of his IBAChandler YouTube username. Liquid would eventually get into fights with Solid over [[Kacey]]'s heart, briefly halting production of videos when Liquid was kidnapped by Solid (portrayed by the other twin filming the video). Liquid made a triumphant return to defend Kacey's honor, and they retired from trolling Chris after "getting married". This saddened Chris, though he quickly got over it and moved onto finding another [[sweetheart]] after about a day.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for Solid [[Chris]] full of highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris<ref name="realprotest">[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

==A challenger appears==
{{protip|"Liquid Chris" was actually Christopher Duckworth, and he made no actual attempt to steal Chris's identity. It was just a comedic impersonation that Chris took too seriously. It should also be noted that Liquid tried to make it as blatantly obvious as possible in the beginning stages (i.e. stuffing a pillow in his shirt, paper cut-out medallion).}}
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
[[Image:Liquid VS Solid.png|"There's room for only one Chris, and one Mayor!" |thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100522150728/http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parody|parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* An official [[Sonichu medallion]] (made out of paper)
* A [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] (brown)
* [[Pedo-Glasses|A pair of rather bulky glasses which would look ridiculous on anybody else.]]
* [[Obesity]] (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* [[Speech impediment|A distinctive nasal voice]]
* [[Autism]]

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

==Ian Brandon Anderson==
{{main|Ian Brandon Anderson}}

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their dox (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his Rollin' and Trollin' video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

==The CWCivil War==
===Opening shots===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTOR|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC</nowiki>". HE IS CRAPPY, and [[Chris and English|his Nasal Voice]] is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; [[Chris and hypocrisy|NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours]] JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR [[Speech impediment|NASAL VOICE]] IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

===The battleground===

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC Update 29 July 2009#Liquid's_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.

As expected, the contest went to Liquid, the absolute chad, and Solid, as always, was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to get Liquid arrested for identity theft, dragging Bob into the debacle along the way:

{{quotebox|If you DO NOT COME CLEAN RIGHT NOW, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get FUCKING ARRESTED, THROWN IN JAIL AND YOU WILL NOT GET TO LIVE THE PEACEFUL, HAPPY LIFE THAT KACEY AND I WOULD LIKE ''YOU'' TO LIVE, BECAUSE KACEY REALLY CARES FOR YOU, ''MAN''!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===
On 14 August 2009, Liquid announced that he was departing YouTube for the time being to pursue turning his ''Sonichu'' series into an acclaimed media franchise.
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1pbi94LLabY}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is extremely disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5VEt7DgWMNk}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

==CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections. According to Liquid, he had been unlawfully detained in a meat-packing factory, and when he managed to escape, he found himself in Africa. With the assistance of a few others, Liquid managed to make his triumphant return to Ruckersville, and the stage was set from there on out.

In the [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid's behavior had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving TRUE and HONEST arms of the Liquid.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ni8d6CRSD1o}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
[[File:Liquid Chris.jpg|thumb|200px|[[TSSSF]] card Chris made of Liquid, eight years after the closing of the saga.]]

Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free girl]]s with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo|Nintendo DS]] and [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]], respectively. On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

Solid Chris then considered Liquid Chris a friend.

After Chris Duckworth abandoned his Liquid Chris persona, he acquired a BS in oncology, and he currently works as a cancer research doctor.<ref>https://www.targetedonc.com/news/tumor-growth-angiogenesis-ovarian-cancer-linked-to-key-adapter-protein</ref> Time will tell if his findings will bring us one step closer to the cure.

While Chris Duckworth has retired from trolling Chris-Chan, he recorded a [[parody]] of the theme song to ''{{w|The Cleveland Show}}'' at some point prior to [[November 2015]], when the video was reuploaded. The song was eventually animated as ''[[The Chris-Chan Show]]'' in [[November 2020]], which would attract the attention of Chris-Chan.

In the years since, Chris eventually forgot about much of the Liquid Chris saga.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref> However, in fall [[2019]] Chris created a [[TSSSF]] card of Liquid Chris, showing he still holds some animosity towards him – the card describes Liquid as a villain utilizing "pretentious acting".

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eL_mkCKuWXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

== Liquid's last statement ==
[[File:Liquid and Kacey.jpeg|thumb|200px|<s>Liquid</s> Chris and Kacey, happily married.]]
Hello All, 

I have been Enjoying the Married Life with my Sweetheart and making Several Hundred Thousand Dollars at Nintendo and Microsoft on Pokemon: Lightning Version and Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles for the Microsoft X-box. I do not have much time for the Youtube, but my Good Friend Dr. Aleksander Egorov (a Physics Animator) has taught me how to Edit Well. In my Spare Time, I have been honing my own Skills as an Editor. I created this Project for my Loyal Fans, who are STILL being TERRIBLY ANNOYED by the Fraud, Ian Brandon Anderson. It is Very Nice to have a home in Redmond, Washington now; I do not care for the fact that I do not stay in one place for long. Perhaps I will be coming to a Convention Near You, Sonichu fans. I thank God and Jesus every day for Each One of you. This is my message for now; Goodbye. 

Gladly to be Where I Am, 

Christian Weston Chandler 

PS: As I have SO MANY MESSAGES now, do not Trust that yours can, or will, be answered; I appreciate EVERY ONE, and all Nice Comments.

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]

[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Obesity|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning, worse still if it is a fun-house mirror made especially to [[parody|mock]] you.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Slow-in-the-minds|retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

 

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Ibachandlercroppedsmaller.jpg|Beel explains Liquid's fate|thumb|top|right]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!|left]]
[[Image:Liquids_end.png|The commission as first seen in Ben Saint's lecture|thumb|top|right]]

Despite being one of the most important events in Christory, the Liquid Saga is addressed in only two pages within the entirety of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. On 17 [[November 2009]], Liquid made his very first appearance in Solid' Chris's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Solid, being the slanderous impostor that he is, had the nerve to claim that Liquid's name was Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried (and failed) to convince everyone that he was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of the [[Sonichu]] franchise.

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] to cede control over [[CWCville]] to Liquid. This, however, has yet to be done.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

Since Liquid's fate in the comic remained nebulous at best, [[Ben Saint]] commissioned a piece from Solid Chris that explained Liquid's ultimate fate. To the surprise of Saint himself, Chris actually delivered. The piece was revealed in a YouTube lecture by Saint on the timeline of the Sonichu canon<ref>[[https://youtu.be/vFOIauPQ5XI?t=4433| Sonichu 101: A CWC Lecture]]</ref> and included commentary by [[Beel]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and Chris himself.

{{quote|So, you want to know the fate of the past impostor of Christian, as the original person was known? Simply put, [[IBAChandler]], he was dragged down to hell, punished of identity theft, and all of his memories and past incarnations reset. His soul was born a fresh blank into a newborn child, and his old body was burned in Hell's lava pool.|[[Beel]] in the commissioned art.}}

However, [[Sonichu 13]] its mentioned that an "Ian Brandon Anderson" was elected as the head police chief of [[CWCville]]. Whether these two were meant to be the same character (thus making the commissioned comic page non-canon) or a totally different person with a similar name was never explained.

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Theme Song - Caillou
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ipQvu7JoAbE}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 4 [[November 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

}}

==See also==
[[File:Chrischan_cosplay.jpg|thumb|''Liquidus'' Chris.]]
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWx5HnCkR0B0L6oPwjoiWsg The Liquid Archive]
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/The_Real_Chris-chan The Real Chris-chan] on the TRUE and HONEST [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

{{trolls}}
{{Sagas}}
{{people}}

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Liquid Chris

2021-11-14T07:42:01Z

DougShanz: /* Irony */

{{Improve|details and citations|expand the subtopics under the ''Liquid Saga''}}
{{Troll}}
{{quote|Chris initially wanted to ignore Liquid. We had to tell him that if he didn't publicly refute Liquid, it could be used against him to steal the Sonichu copyright. Chris is lazy and, by default, ignores most trolling.|[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/yt-16-06-we-need-immediate-funds-please.31624/post-2351871</ref>}}

{{Infobox Person
| name = Liquid Chris
|image = CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|size=250px
|birthname = Christopher Morton Duckworth
|aliases = Chris Chandler<ref>[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]</ref> Jeff<ref>[[Exposing Jeff]]</ref> "The Previous Chris" "The Other Chris"<ref>[[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]</ref>
|year = 1990
|gender = Male
|nation = [[United States|American]]
|race = White
|spouse = [[Kacey]]
|siblings = SimplySpoons (brother)
|occupation = Freelance comic book artist [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE|Musician]]
}}

'''Liquid Chris''' (real name: '''Christopher Duckworth'''; born 1990) claimed to be the [[TRUE and HONEST]] '''Christian Weston Chandler''', and the one and only creator of the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In reality, he was simply an impersonator on [[YouTube]] who initially just made videos to amuse himself and his friends. Liquid was played by identical twin brothers Chris and '''Jon Duckworth''' (born 1990). Chris portrayed Liquid on YouTube and in the PVCC Forums, while Jon portrayed him during the Sing-Star Challenge.

Liquid Chris gets his nickname from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', a video game which featured a storyline of the clone "brother" of the player character, Solid Snake (hence why [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is referred to as Solid Chris in this saga, as he will be for the remainder of this page). Eventually, Solid discovered Liquid, and he actually believed that he was an impostor trying to take credit for his glorious creation, rather than just being an impersonator. Once he was in Solid's sights, Liquid decided to up his game by playing along with his rivalry with Chris-Chan (as would his fans), and became a full-time [[Trolls|troll]].

Liquid insisted that he was the real Chris-Chan, and chose to address his counterpart as the impostor [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], based on the initials of his IBAChandler YouTube username. Liquid would eventually get into fights with Solid over [[Kacey]]'s heart, briefly halting production of videos when Liquid was kidnapped by Solid (portrayed by the other twin filming the video). Liquid made a triumphant return to defend Kacey's honor, and they retired from trolling Chris after "getting married". This saddened Chris, though he quickly got over it and moved onto finding another [[sweetheart]] after about a day.

__TOC__

{{clear}}

==Prologue==
[[June 2009]] was a busy month for Solid [[Chris]] full of highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Islands]] with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the reins to his shiny new [[CWCipedia]] and had his [[YouTube]] account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was [[Rollin' and Trollin']] indeed.

{{quote|And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image.|Solid Chris<ref name="realprotest">[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]</ref>}}

==A challenger appears==
{{protip|"Liquid Chris" was actually Christopher Duckworth, and he made no actual attempt to steal Chris's identity. It was just a comedic impersonation that Chris took too seriously. It should also be noted that Liquid tried to make it as blatantly obvious as possible in the beginning stages (i.e. stuffing a pillow in his shirt, paper cut-out medallion).}}
[[Image:Torture.jpg|Liquid torturing the impostor.|thumb]]
[[Image:Liquid VS Solid.png|"There's room for only one Chris, and one Mayor!" |thumb]]
:''See also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Antebellum|Liquid's Antebellum Videos]]''

At the end of the month a new YouTube account, [https://web.archive.org/web/20100522150728/http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC], appeared with a simple premise: that the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth '''Liquid Chris''') was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were [[parody|parodies]] of earlier videos by Solid Chris.

{{quote|How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu?|Liquid Chris, [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Update:_I_am_Still_the_Real_Christian_Weston_Chandler_Despite_LIES_AND_SLANDER._Also.2C_Some_Fan_Art|3 July 2009]]}}

Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
* An official [[Sonichu medallion]] (made out of paper)
* A [[Chris and fashion|striped shirt]] (brown)
* [[Pedo-Glasses|A pair of rather bulky glasses which would look ridiculous on anybody else.]]
* [[Obesity]] (by means of a stuffed shirt, later removed)
* [[Speech impediment|A distinctive nasal voice]]
* [[Autism]]

All of which, of course, made him almost [[Chris and reality|''indistinguishable'']] from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative — that Solid just ignored them — is far too reasonable to consider.

==Ian Brandon Anderson==
{{main|Ian Brandon Anderson}}

What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|a series of videos]] on 10 [[July 2009]] where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their dox (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu".

The next piece fell into place when he posted his Rollin' and Trollin' video on his new YouTube account, "[[IBAChandler]]". When it hit [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson". Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.

Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.

==The CWCivil War==
===Opening shots===
[[Image:Honest-and-true.jpg|thumb|right|TRUTH and HONESTY established by the state of [[Virginia]]!]]
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#The CWCivil|Liquid's CWCivil War Videos]]''

The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009#Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTOR|video]] that reeled Solid in hook, line, and sinker, having sold Sonichu merchandise with [[Samantha Thaddeus]] at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:

{{quotebox|DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC CWCCChanSonichuCWC</nowiki>". HE IS CRAPPY, and [[Chris and English|his Nasal Voice]] is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.

Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to [[Wal-Mart]] and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars!

HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "[[Julie]]"; [[Chris and hypocrisy|NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours]] JUST TO EVEN VISIT [[Wesley Memorial]] in [[VIRGINIA]].

F*** HIM TO HELL!<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:

{{quotebox|'''The Final Showdown'''

Hey, DUMBASS! [[Chris and his ego|YOU WISH YOU WERE ME]]! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!

I am Calling YOU OUT!

[[14 Branchland Ct.]] [[Ruckersville]], VA
BEFORE August 2, 2009.
If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.

oh, BTW, YOUR [[Speech impediment|NASAL VOICE]] IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "[[Naive|NAIVE]]", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.

But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.

You are a Nerd and a Whimp!

Have a good day. 
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler<ref name="realprotest"/>}}

Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], who was holding his [[PSN]] account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:

{{quotebox|Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE [[Gal-Pal]] [[Kacey]] and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC<ref>[[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#Christian_Weston_Chandler.27s_EXCITING_ANNOUNCEMENT_of_SONICHU_and_Addressing_Things.| Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things.]]</ref>}}

===The battleground===

===="More Than A Feeling"====
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|The REAL Chris is not only cute, he can play the guitar!]]
:''See Also: [[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''
:''See Also: [[CChanSonichuCWC_Videos,_June-July_2009#More_Than_A_Feeling_THE_TRUE_VERSION_by_Christian_Weston_Chandler_.28CWC.29|More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)]]

For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at ''Guitar Hero'' and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.

====Spanish Challenge====
[[Image:Cestnepas.jpg|thumb|Ceci n'est pas une Chris.]]
:''Main Article: [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''

More [[I Am The TRUE, Original CCWC|video rage]] followed before Solid attempted a cunning plan:

{{quote|También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor.|Solid Chris, ''[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]''}}

The plan backfired when [[CWC Update 29 July 2009#Liquid's_response|Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese]].

====''SingStar'' Challenge====
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|Only one clear choice, choosing the TRUE and HONEST Chris.]]
{{Main|SingStar Challenge}}

{{quote|Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge.|Solid Chris, [[SingStar Challenge|"''SingStar'' Challenge"]]}}

And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.

As expected, the contest went to Liquid, the absolute chad, and Solid, as always, was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of four votes in favor, two against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
* That he'd finally found a true sweetheart, [[Kacey]].
* That he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at [[Microsoft]] for a ''Sonichu'' game for all consoles.
* That Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.

And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.

==="SHOWDOWN"===
{{Main|SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE}}

{{Quote|You’re breaking my balls here.|Solid, [[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]}}

On 9 [[August 2009]], Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to get Liquid arrested for identity theft, dragging Bob into the debacle along the way:

{{quotebox|If you DO NOT COME CLEAN RIGHT NOW, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get FUCKING ARRESTED, THROWN IN JAIL AND YOU WILL NOT GET TO LIVE THE PEACEFUL, HAPPY LIFE THAT KACEY AND I WOULD LIKE ''YOU'' TO LIVE, BECAUSE KACEY REALLY CARES FOR YOU, ''MAN''!<ref>[[SHOWDOWN|"SHOWDOWN"]]</ref>}}

==="I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up."===
On 14 August 2009, Liquid announced that he was departing YouTube for the time being to pursue turning his ''Sonichu'' series into an acclaimed media franchise.
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1pbi94LLabY}}
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} Music {{Galpals}} Kacey
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the SingStar Contest. Also, More Updates on Sonichu and Going Places :)|Verdict: I (CWC) WIN the ''SingStar'' Contest. Also, More Updates on ''Sonichu'' and Going Places :)]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
}}

Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:

{{quote|STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING!|Solid Chris, [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]]}}

Then, he tried reason:

{{quotebox|The ''Singstar'' Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the [[Internet]] knows that I am, he's the impostor. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid, damn, dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [''his voice gets higher''] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edgewise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father!<ref>[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|"The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who"]]</ref>}}

And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is extremely disturbing.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = GONE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|5VEt7DgWMNk}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Violence}} [[Death threats]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.|I, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, Virginia, Have Grown Up.]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#10152009|10152009]]
}}

Chris's sweetheart, [[Kacey]], was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.

==CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|Chris's solution to Boyfriends.]]
{{Main|Kacey}}

Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 [[October 2009]] with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections. According to Liquid, he had been unlawfully detained in a meat-packing factory, and when he managed to escape, he found himself in Africa. With the assistance of a few others, Liquid managed to make his triumphant return to Ruckersville, and the stage was set from there on out.

In the [[Greetings to Kaceys Folks|video]] addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him '''"the previous Chris"'''. In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|desperate video for Kacey]], Solid called him '''"the other Chris"''' repeatedly.

When the dust had settled, Solid's behavior had [[Father Call|offended Kacey's father]] and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving TRUE and HONEST arms of the Liquid.

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = 10152009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ni8d6CRSD1o}}
| Stardate = 15 October 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Homos}} Homos {{Rumors}} Rumours
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#GONE|GONE]]
| next = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.|THIS will NOT STAND, you HOMO JERK. FROM: the True C.W.C with Birth Name Christopher.]]
}}

===Epilogue===
[[File:Liquid Chris.jpg|thumb|200px|[[TSSSF]] card Chris made of Liquid, eight years after the closing of the saga.]]

Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful [[boyfriend-free girl]]s with his medallions and his [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar of Win]].

Liquid makes mad [[Clyde Cash|cash]] by selling said medallions at Otakon and other [[anime]] [[Anime Mid-Atlantic|conventions]] while voicing Solid in ''[[Sonichu the Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''. He has also made several hundred thousand dollars from his two critically acclaimed games, ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' and ''Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles'' for the [[Nintendo|Nintendo DS]] and [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]], respectively. On 27 July 2011, Liquid bid fond faredieu to the trolling universe on YouTube by closing his account.

Solid Chris then considered Liquid Chris a friend.

After Chris Duckworth abandoned his Liquid Chris persona, he acquired a BS in oncology, and he currently works as a cancer research doctor.<ref>https://www.targetedonc.com/news/tumor-growth-angiogenesis-ovarian-cancer-linked-to-key-adapter-protein</ref> Time will tell if his findings will bring us one step closer to the cure.

While Chris Duckworth has retired from trolling Chris-Chan, he recorded a [[parody]] of the theme song to ''{{w|The Cleveland Show}}'' at some point prior to [[November 2015]], when the video was reuploaded. The song was eventually animated as ''[[The Chris-Chan Show]]'' in [[November 2020]], which would attract the attention of Chris-Chan.

In the years since, Chris eventually forgot about much of the Liquid Chris saga.<ref>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref> However, in fall [[2019]] Chris created a [[TSSSF]] card of Liquid Chris, showing he still holds some animosity towards him – the card describes Liquid as a villain utilizing "pretentious acting".

{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Proof and Thank You Kacey's Father
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eL_mkCKuWXQ}}
| Stardate = 06 November 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = {{Comics}} Comics
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, August-November 2009#My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey|My Half of A Whole New World For Kacey]]
| next = [[Sonichu_Special_4|Conspiracy to ATTEMPT MURDER AGAIN from Ian Brandon Anderson (his Comic Pages)]]
}}

'''VIDEO DESCRIPTION:'''
{{quotebox|Kacey, you Know who is Right, in Your Heart.

Signed,

"Christopher" Christian Weston Chandler (C.W.C)}}

== Liquid's last statement ==
[[File:Liquid and Kacey.jpeg|thumb|200px|<s>Liquid</s> Chris and Kacey, happily married.]]
Hello All, 

I have been Enjoying the Married Life with my Sweetheart and making Several Hundred Thousand Dollars at Nintendo and Microsoft on Pokemon: Lightning Version and Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles for the Microsoft X-box. I do not have much time for the Youtube, but my Good Friend Dr. Aleksander Egorov (a Physics Animator) has taught me how to Edit Well. In my Spare Time, I have been honing my own Skills as an Editor. I created this Project for my Loyal Fans, who are STILL being TERRIBLY ANNOYED by the Fraud, Ian Brandon Anderson. It is Very Nice to have a home in Redmond, Washington now; I do not care for the fact that I do not stay in one place for long. Perhaps I will be coming to a Convention Near You, Sonichu fans. I thank God and Jesus every day for Each One of you. This is my message for now; Goodbye. 

Gladly to be Where I Am, 

Christian Weston Chandler 

PS: As I have SO MANY MESSAGES now, do not Trust that yours can, or will, be answered; I appreciate EVERY ONE, and all Nice Comments.

==Irony==
[[File:Liquidd.jpg|thumb|left|Ian acts as the real Chris, in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].]]
[[Image:LiquidChrisBelieveInMe.jpg|thumb|BELIEVE.]]

[[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] has mocked Liquid on several points:

* [[Speech impediment|His nasal tone.]]
* [[Chris and fashion|His brown striped shirt.]]
* [[Chris and money|Actually making money off ''Sonichu''.]]
* [[Obesity|His appearance.]]

It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and worse when the mirror is winning, worse still if it is a fun-house mirror made especially to [[parody|mock]] you.

In early August 2009,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009]]</ref> Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Slow-in-the-minds|retard]] who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.

In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]].

And in a last irony, Ian impersonated Chris who was impersonating him impersonating...or something...in [[100 2270|"100 2270"]].

 

== In the comic ==
[[Image:TrueAndHonestCWCArt.jpg|The impostor [[Chris]] stole his famous lecture to the [[Jerkops]] from the real Chris.|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Ibachandlercroppedsmaller.jpg|Beel explains Liquid's fate|thumb|top|right]]
[[Image:Furryiba.jpg|thumb|Go, [[IBAChandler]], and copycat-ly [sic] sieze [sic] to the extreme!|left]]
[[Image:Liquids_end.png|The commission as first seen in Ben Saint's lecture|thumb|top|right]]

Despite being one of the most important events in Christory, the Liquid Saga is addressed in only two pages within the entirety of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. On 17 [[November 2009]], Liquid made his very first appearance in Solid' Chris's [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Solid, being the slanderous impostor that he is, had the nerve to claim that Liquid's name was Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried (and failed) to convince everyone that he was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of the [[Sonichu]] franchise.

Chris planned a future plot where [[Giovanni]] captured [[Rosechu]] and forced [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris]] to cede control over [[CWCville]] to Liquid. This, however, has yet to be done.<ref>[[CWC Blog#20 November 2009]]</ref>

Since Liquid's fate in the comic remained nebulous at best, [[Ben Saint]] commissioned a piece from Solid Chris that explained Liquid's ultimate fate. To the surprise of Saint himself, Chris actually delivered. The piece was revealed in a YouTube lecture by Saint on the timeline of the Sonichu canon<ref>[[https://youtu.be/vFOIauPQ5XI?t=4433| Sonichu 101: A CWC Lecture]]</ref> and included commentary by [[Beel]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and Chris himself.

{{quote|So, you want to know the fate of the past impostor of Christian, as the original person was known? Simply put, [[IBAChandler]], he was dragged down to hell, punished of identity theft, and all of his memories and past incarnations reset. His soul was born a fresh blank into a newborn child, and his old body was burned in Hell's lava pool.|Beel in the commissioned art.}}

However, [[Sonichu 13]] its mentioned that an "Ian Brandon Anderson" was elected as the head police chief of [[CWCville]]. Whether these two were meant to be the same character (thus making the commissioned comic page non-canon) or a totally different person with a similar name was never explained.

==Fan videos==
{{collapsible
|Not TRUE AND ORIGINAL
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm On Hexbawks. :)]]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XhENYYmGAeA}}
| Stardate = 25 [[January 2010]]
| Maker = BobbyHillify
| Subject =
| Video Type = Trailer for the upcoming [[Xbox]] game.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Theme Song - Caillou
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ipQvu7JoAbE}}
| maker = SiIvaGunner
| stardate = 4 [[November 2016]]
| type = High quality video game rip
}}

}}

==See also==
[[File:Chrischan_cosplay.jpg|thumb|''Liquidus'' Chris.]]
* [[Solid Chris]]
* [[Solidus Chris]]
* [[Jimmy Hill]]
* [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], another doppelganger of Chris featured in the Sonichu comics

==References==
<references/>

== External links ==
* [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWx5HnCkR0B0L6oPwjoiWsg The Liquid Archive]
* [https://encyclopediadramatica.online/The_Real_Chris-chan The Real Chris-chan] on the TRUE and HONEST [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

{{trolls}}
{{Sagas}}
{{people}}

 {{SingStarChallenge}} 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chris, Liquid}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

Chris and race

2021-11-13T20:19:57Z

DougShanz: /* Asians */

{{Honest}}

{{quote|I never really had anything against, uh, race or people, I never really did... I have nothing against black people or anyone else of other countries.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] while talking to [[BraveryJerk Interviews|BraveryJerk]] in [[2016]], in spite of previous questionable depictions of race in his comics and videos.}}

[[Image: Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV]], [[manipulated]] into putting on blackface.]]

The '''race''' of people is often considered a sensitive topic, a poor match for [[Chris]], with his [[Autism|lack of social tact and tendency to take pop culture stereotypes literally]]. While Chris doesn't seem to hold deeply bigoted views or have irrational hatred toward people that aren't white (or at least not on the same level as his views on [[homos|homosexuals]], [[Asperger's|people with Asperger's Syndrome]], and [[JERKS]]) he has been remarkably tone-deaf when talking about, or portraying, minorities in his comics and videos. The [[Miscreants]] group of trolls used race as ammo to mock and [[manipulate]] Chris.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of other cultures can also be traced to the television he watches such as the typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon which includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor.

===Blacks===
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply1evan.png]]</ref>]]

Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] include whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|"Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009"]]</ref><ref>In [[IRC (17 December 2008)]], he was asked to describe all the races he would date and he answered, "all but black."</ref> Chris tells this not only to trolls, but to black [[boyfriend-free girls]] in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion." To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's Psychiatric Examination]]</ref>

His stated reason for not being interested in black women is that his dream-prophecy of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] shows her to be white, which means her mother must be white as well.

Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a Boyfriend free girl, much to his chagrin<ref>[[Sonichu Fan Promo]]</ref> – even though he previously approved of a notable piece of fan art with the phrase included prominently. This is essentially accurate; for example, on Chris's profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] he says that "[[Tobacky|smokers]], [[obesity|overweights]], blacks, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|liars]] need not apply."

On the less-discriminatory side, Chris also has stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

Some teenaged black kids frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090620070812/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The official reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these children.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ while playing [[Yu-Gi-Oh]]. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered "I mean your face down monster...."<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090621132756/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

He does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

When Chris talked on the phone to [[Jackie]]'s boyfriend [[Lars]], he tried to bridge the gap between their different races by speaking in Ebonics, including referring to himself as a "nigga" (although ''not'' as a "[[niggo]]") and making statements like, "I enjoy the TV shows I get from the, from the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them."<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>

On 27 [[June 2012]], Chris posted in [[Facebook]] a photo of a black woman at McDonald's who he said discriminated against him, and demanded people not go there, and if they do to "throw newspaper in the damn old bitchy, black woman's face!!!"<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In 2014, when Chris was infatuated with [[Catherine]], he had a romantic rival by the name of [[Colin]]; he sent a message describing the light shining off of Colin's head in a photo as "poo light."<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>

In 2016, Chris was asked by [[BraveryJerk]] what his opinion on the Black Lives Matter movement was. Chris seemingly had never heard of the movement, saying "Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like they’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race or whatever. I mean, I’m for…the,uh…Black Lives forever."<ref>https://youtu.be/LTtBLPH350w?t=547</ref>

===Asians===
{{Main|Japanophilia}}

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin".<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different governments, languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least a neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Native Americans===
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really. (Note [[Semen|the typo]].)]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] unsurprisingly also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize ''[[My Little Pony]]'' dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony clearly based upon himself. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a plastic gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. True Cherokee historically wore breechcloths and leggings most of the time prior to adopting modern styles, and there is little evidence to suggest they owned muscle bras. They also notably did not go to war with toy guns, but instead with bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

===Jews===
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|Chris, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|demonstrating his boundless empathy for religious minorities]]}}

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|unsuccessful attempt]] in April 2010 to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish, using his last name as a point of reference ("Snyder" is a common Dutch surname meaning "tailor". It happens to be similar to the German surname "Schneider", which is sometimes used by Jews). After failing to convince Snyder to lift the ban, Chris angrily called him a Jew and bolted out of the store. In a later video ([[Greene County Conspiracy|100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In an email to Katie Bay, he refers to Snyder as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> This probably is moreso a misguided attempt to mimic [[South Park#Chris fails to grasp South Park|Eric Cartman]] than the result of any deep-seated anti-Semitism.

Chris finally apologized for insulting Michael on 31 [[March 2018]], after a [[CWC Ancestry|23andme test]] showed that he himself had 0.1% Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry. He characterized this as a "surprise."<ref>[https://archive.md/NR1Vv]</ref> As of 2020 his 23andme results no longer include Jewish ancestry.<ref>[[:File:DNA test.JPG]]</ref>

===Hispanics===
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Flag of Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Flag of Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]], and then Chris's <s>self-cest</s> children. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women. It also does not help her sentences are random mixes of Spanish and English – and no, not by throwing in a random word or two of Spanish into her sentences, but switching from English phrases to Spanish midway in her sentences (which appear to be Google-Translated).

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominantly speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from the USA as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

===Other white ethnicities/cultures===
Chris has not shown outright malevolence towards other white cultures, but is often ignorant of their customs and nations. In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], Chris plays an Irish song while wearing a kilt and pretending to be Scottish, then mentions a [[Wikipedia:Shillelagh_(club)|shillelagh]].

Chris has an extremely basic idea on eastern Europe and Russia; [[Sylvana]] was given a supposedly Russian accent midway through the comic for no discernable reason (although the way its written makes it look like a German accent instead).

==Troll manipulation==
{{quote|[giggling] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.|[[BlueSpike]] to Chris.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>}}

In the [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call, [[BlueSpike]] coerced Chris into saying "niggers"; Chris attempted to substitute [[niggos]] instead, but BlueSpike insisted and Chris caved. The term niggos became an infamous [[CWC-ism]].

Chris called [[Surfshack Tito]] a nigger on video<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref> and in email.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]</ref> Notably, he never used the term in this context either before or after his interaction with Tito, who is not even depicted as being a black person, suggesting Chris was [[manipulated]] by trolls behind the scenes into using the word.

In [[Jackie E-mails 14]], sweetheart [[Jackie]] asked Chris [[Song for Jackie.MOV|to dress up as Mr. Popo]] on video - a character from [[Dragon Ball]] with black skin, red lips and a turban - while singing "You ain't seen no Saiyans on the fiddle, / No Saiyans on the fiddle like this." Chris complied, though he was aware the costume would appear like blackface and placed a disclaimer stating that "this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus."

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga Chris was manipulated into [[Chris and fashion| dressing up as a gopnik]] (bottle of vodka included) while spouting the phrase "A nu cheeki breeki" and "Davai" over and over again (in reference to the stalker games which Joshua was obsessed with), although like many things during that saga the whole meme probably flew completely over Chris's head and actually was led to believe that the chant was Cherokean instead.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews.|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}

{{quote|Blacks [...] are good people too.|Chris, in the [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|disclaimer for his Mr. Popo video]]}}

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote". Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. He also genuinely likes two black actors: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" (except the ones being black).

==Chris's ethnic background==
{{Wise|he is part black and part Jewish.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref>}}

[[File:DNA test.JPG|thumb|500px|Chris's updated 23andMe results as of 11 October 2020.]]
[[File:Ancestry composition1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's original results which convinced him he was Jewish.]]
Influenced by his parents' claims, Chris has long asserted that he is of primarily [[Daniel Weston|English]] descent, with some [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage on Bob's side and some French heritage on Barb's. However, in March 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] had Chris apply for a DNA test from 23andMe to determine his ancestry,<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts#Apology to jewish people]]</ref> which showed that he was of 100% European genetic background, with slightly over half of this being British and most of the rest from across Northwestern Europe. The test also indicated that Chris had a trace amount (less than 0.1%) of Ashkenazi ("ash-KEN-azi") Jewish ancestry. Chris was also led to believe that he had black ancestry because his paternal haplogroup lineage, like all human lineages, began in Africa (as a matter of fact both his paternal and maternal haplogroups point to European origin). As a result, Chris declared that he was "Fully Observant of [his] Jewish ancestry" and that he was "black too." He apologized for his past offensiveness regarding Jews and black people.

Sometime between 2018 and 2020 Chris's 23andMe results were updated. They now show no Jewish ancestry whatsoever, showing a somewhat larger component of [[Mario|Italian]] ancestry instead. They also show that he is of 0.1% [[Cherokean Chant|Siberian]] ancestry, possibly the sign of a distant Native American ancestor as North Asian and Native American populations are closely related.<ref>[https://customercare.23andme.com/hc/en-us/articles/202906870-Can-23andMe-identify-Native-American-ancestry-]</ref> Chris has yet to comment on these new results.

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==

Chris attempts to add in characters of various races and religions with decidedly mixed results. Many of his non-white characters are one-dimensional or barely relevant but then again so is every white one who isn't Chris in his world full of rainbow hedgehogs. Virtually all black characters are depicted as criminals, villains, or undesirables. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race-related jokes.

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question. Despite being minorities, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon group never experiences discrimination nor prejudices in the comic; [[homos|that's saved for another minority in CWCville]]. Chris tolerated a [[Niggo]] [[Bubbles]] and Indian [[Magi-chan]] renditions in [[July 2020]].

*[[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (Jewish, good but immature)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (<s>white-washed</s> Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue-eyed but also blonde)
*[[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] (black, evil). A '''villain''' based off a real-life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black; the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half-black, half-arab). A cameo for the sake of a race-related joke. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Chris removed the joke after Obama won the election, but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.
* Blake (black, evil turned good). A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain, but switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] which were uploaded in 2015 [[Blake]] is mistaken as black, being wished a "happy Kwanza, brother" from an African American, and goes on an angry rant about how his skin in not "sunburn color", he is black because of a mutation.
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good). A girl whose sole purpose in the comic is to be rejected by Reginald.
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil). The Big Cheese of the Jerkops.
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Manajerks#Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)|Turdijerk]] (Indian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black police officers who talk entirely in stereotypical black slang.
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker). A homeless, intoxicated, diseased, drug-pushing, expectorating Jamaican with filthy dreadlocks.
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, <s>never seen</s> debuts in ''Sonichu'' #12)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "sistas and brothas".

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]