CWCki - User contributions [en]

CWCki Forums

2015-09-21T01:00:14Z

DrCogsy: /* Christian Weston Chandler is STRAIGHT!!!! */

{{quote|You God Damn Pinheads!!!! I have already told you; [[Chris]] has told you!!!! The Riddle's answer was the FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!! CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED [[Homos|HOMO]]!!!! CHRISTIAN IS [[STRAIGHT]]!!!! He gets [[Cakefarts|hard]] over women!! He vomits at [[JERKS|males]]!!

GET IT THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMNED, DEMENTED, THICK SKULLS, YOU GOD DAMNED PINHEADS!!!!

I should know very well, because I Am Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia|VA]], himself!!!!

You god damned males make me vomit, sick and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]!!|Chris on 24 August 2013}}

[[File:137704626985.jpg|thumb|400px|This is basically it.]]

The [https://kiwifar.ms/forums/christian-weston-chandler.18/ '''CWCki Forums'''] is the former name of a web message board previously loosely affiliated with the [[CWCki]]. It is frequented by many of the wiki regulars and other people interested of all things Christorical. Its primary purpose is to allow users to discuss and speculate about Chris, without needing to do so in the [[CWCki:NAF|CWCki talk pages]]. It has received hundreds of thousands of posts on hundreds of different discussion topics about Chris over the years, and currently has thousands of posters, which can cause one to pause and either marvel at the enduring fascination of Chris as a subject matter, wonder who the ''actual'' autists are, or both. Previously existing as a stand-alone board in various iterations, in [[February 2015]] they were absorbed into a larger site re-branded as '''Kiwi Farms''', which focuses on lolcows (people and groups whose eccentric or foolish behavior can be "milked" for amusement and laughs) in general and not just Chris, although he remains the primary draw. The new name comes from [[speech impediment|the way several lolcows mispronounced "CWCki Forums"]] (like how Retsupurae is a mispronounced version of "Let's play").

It is known that Chris was posting on the forum in 2012 under nickname "paintingatree". In his few posts, he generally tried to defend himself under the guise of a remorseful troll. This fact alone, as well as his [[Chris and writing|writing style]] and posting habits (posting rarely, never in the same thread again and never trying to start a conversation with other users) made his presence somewhat a open secret. Surprisingly, Chris registered again under the same nickname in February 2013. He wrote the first post on 23 May, in which he made it clear that it was him. In spite of this, [[Slow-in-the-minds|in other posts he pretended to be someone else.]] As it could be expected, he was trying to defend himself again (mostly from accusations of being [[Homos|homosexual]], since many users, knowing that they're being watched, jokingly concluded that the meaning behind his absurd [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Facebook riddle]] is that Chris wants to [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|come out of the closet]]), and was very rude to the users in almost all of his posts. Being in the process of adding old friends from his [[Manchester High|high school]] on FB, he also asked if anybody found [[Tiffany Gowen]].

It's assumed that Chris lurks on the boards regularly, and screenshots of the forum have appeared on his [[Facebook]] account. His exact motivations for doing this are not clear, but it has been speculated that he intended to use the screen caps as proof of a troll conspiracy including [[Michael Snyder]]. Robert Bell, Chris's lawyer, was apparently unpersuaded by Chris's legal acumen and did not enter any screen caps into evidence.

__TOC__

==Forums structure==
The "Christian Weston Chandler" section of the Kiwi Farms is structured as:

* '''[https://kiwifar.ms/forums/christian-weston-chandler.18/ Christian Weston Chandler]''' - General discussion and speculation about Chris, his activities, and the world of [[Christory]]. Contains threads for random questions and speculation that is more eccentric or off-topic, such as: "''What if Chris preferred [[April_16_Fetish_Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Purple Fanta]]?''"
**'''[https://kiwifar.ms/forums/updates.21/ Updates]''' - Curated posts with the latest news on Chris. Moderator approval for posts is required here, and only staff and VIP users can start new threads.
**'''[https://kiwifar.ms/forums/sonichu.20/ Sonichu]''' - Discussion of the [[Continuity_in_the_Sonichu_comics|Sonichu canon]].

==Chris's posts==
Below are the posts Chris wrote under pseudonym paintingatree between 23 May and 2 September 2013. Unfortunately, all of his posts from the old Forumer incarnation from 2012 seem to be lost. Chris's posts are in blue, while posts in threads he was responding to are in red.

===Re: DreamHost and a possible migration===
{{quoteboxred|'''by Marvin » Wed May 22, 2013 1:00 am'''
Uhh, all the cool kids use linode. Also, I'd whatever the whatever you're asking us to whatever, but I'm too drunk to do it properly and/or usefully right now, so, maybe when I'm sober.|Marvin <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/dreamhost-and-a-possible-migration.998/#post-65466]</ref>}}

And then, [[Pokémon|a wild Chris-Chan appears]]:

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Thu May 23, 2013 7:36 am'''
Why don't you and that damn [[Cwcki]] just go ahead and die off the [[Internet]] already so I can finally find some peace of my life? <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/dreamhost-and-a-possible-migration.998/#post-65470]</ref>}}

He received thanks from 22 users (and still counting) for this post.

===Re: Should Chris Consider Dating A 'Special' Girl?===
{{quoteboxred|'''by Thetan » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:42 pm'''
Rather than constantly whining about how lonely he is, Chris should consider revising his sweetheart standards. He has set the bar far too high for himself. He couldn't even make things work out with Faeryn or The Wallflower.

Chris could do well with a 'special' girl: potentially someone mildly mentally retarded who enjoys the same childish things he does. They could enjoy each other's company, coloring and watching cartoons together. As long as they don't have unprotected sex, I don't see a problem with this type of relationship.

Such a person may actually find Chris interesting, look up to him, and hang onto his every word. The relationship would not only alleviate his loneliness, but be good for his ego as well.|Thetan <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/should-chris-consider-dating-a-special-girl.1183/]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:48 pm'''
In response to your question, I ask you a question. Would YOU, in full honesty, full truth, in your right mind, at all, date a "Special Girl"? How would you feel if you woke up the next morning with droning moaning and blather coming from the face next to you?<ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/should-chris-consider-dating-a-special-girl.1183/page-6#post-77414]</ref>}}

===Re: Tiffany Gowen===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:20 pm'''
Hey, whatever happened to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]]? Didn't she get [[Merried Seinor Comic|married]] or something? Like, dude, where did she go; has anyone found her?<ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/tiffany-gowen.1065/page-2#post-70608]</ref>}}

Most noteworthy response:

{{quoteboxred|'''by applecat » Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:14 am'''
I found her! It was tough because she didn't have a Facebook, but I made sure to send her a link to the CWCki so she would know to stay away from that horrible man. She was very disappointed in him, but she thanked me for the tip-off. That's one more gal-pal safe from Chris!|applecat <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/tiffany-gowen.1065/page-3#post-70624]</ref>}}

===Re: I had a conversation with my wife about Christian.===
{{quoteboxred|'''by The Dude » Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:41 am'''
I've told her a little about Christian back in the day, but haven't told her about any of the recent stuff like Tomgil, running over Snyder, stuff like that.

The conversation went like this:

Me: So let's have a hypothetical.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Let's say something happens to me and we're no longer together. For sake of argument let's say I died.

Mrs. Dude: Oh no!

Me: So I'm dead and gone, and you're single again. Enough time has passed that you want to get back out and find another man.

Mrs. Dude: OK.

Me: Now here's the rub; the only guy who wants to date you is fat, balding, doesn't bathe, has no job, dresses like a girl, and lives with his mother in a hoarded house. He also shits himself when he's upset.

Mrs. Dude: Ew! EEWWWWW!!!

Me: What do you do?

Mrs. Dude: Tell him to stay away and strongly consider becoming a lesbian.

Me: A wise choice.

Mrs. Dude: There's someone out there that you know about who fits that exact description, isn't there?

Me: Remember that guy I told you about on the internet? The guy I showed you the videos of him having a singing battle with my friend?

Mrs. Dude: The autistic kid with the fucked up Sonic thing?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: He SHITS himself?

Me: Yup.

Mrs. Dude: Oh my...why? That's just grody! EW! EEWWWW!!

Me: I know.

Do you ever have conversations with anyone about Chris? How have they gone?|The Dude <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/i-had-a-conversation-with-my-wife-about-christian.1721/]</ref>}}

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:56 pm'''
You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha. <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/i-had-a-conversation-with-my-wife-about-christian.1721/page-2#post-107433]</ref>}}

===Seriously? No one wants to finish [[Facebook#The_Riddle|Chris' Puzzle]]?===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:08 pm'''
You all aren't even going to figure the Links between the photos? I mean, I don't think they have the same common thread, but one still links to the other. The lemon cake is a favorite food of businesswomen, and Cuban is a businessman. A bakery in Delaware highly recommends lemon and almond cookies. Delaware Bue Hens; hens on a farm with tornados. It's not totally rocket science. <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/seriously-no-one-wants-to-finish-chris-puzzle.1725/]</ref>}}

===Re: Chris likes [[Manchester_High_School#Go_Lancers.21|the lancers]] on facebook.===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:10 pm'''
Oh, for God's Sake!!! [[Chris and sex|Did Chris not make it clear enough time and again that he is in Absolute Fact Fucking Straight?! He gets a hard on with a Woman! He gets Pukey Sick when seeing topless males! He freaking wears a bra to cover his own shame! He gets a hard on with WOMEN!!! Stop Mislabeling the Straight Man Already!!!]]

BTW: Cuban was born in Pittsburg; Pirates roam the seas with the Mayflower; there is a photo of Chris wearing a Pittsburg Pirates Cap. Also, when you want to call him Stupid, do not mislabel him there either!

[[Chris and hypocrisy|You all are pathetic, stupid, no ounce is common sense or intelligence at all!]] I do not know why I keep following you all at all!

Break Up the whole Group here already!!! <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-likes-the-lancers-on-facebook.1713/page-9#post-106963]</ref>}}

===The Big Reveal===
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:59 pm'''
You God Damn Pinheads!!!! I have already told you; Chris has told you!!!! The Riddle's answer was the FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!! CHRISTIAN IS NOT A GOD DAMNED HOMO!!!! CHRISTIAN IS STRAIGHT!!!! He gets hard over women!! He vomits at males!!

GET IT THROUGH YOUR GOD DAMNED, DEMENTED, THICK SKULLS, YOU GOD DAMNED PINHEADS!!!!

I should know very well, because I Am Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, himself!!!!

You god damned [[JERKS|males]] make me vomit, sick and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]]!! <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/christian-weston-chandler-is-straight.1760/]</ref>}}

===September 2 FB update; New Troll to "Welcome"===

Just after revealing himself in his previous post, Chris acts as if nothing happened. Instead of [[Calling Out|encouraging his trolls to harrass his perceived enemies]] directly in a quoted FB post, he does it by pretending to be one of them... and fails.

{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Mon Sep 2, 2013 9:22 am'''
He has posted Publically, and I quote:

I have just been intercepted by a Manajerk and an Offline Troll/Bully. Her name is [REDACTED]; works within the Mal-Wart region. Every Troll/Cyber-Bully should contact her at her email address of [REDACTED], and remind her that no one is to mess with an Autistic Person when they are in a depressed, sad, angry or foul mood, especially with the online reputation that was dragged through the worst mud, muck and bodily fluids that said Autistic Person has, and if his hatred of the XBox brand, and the number of Trolls that populate half to three-quarters of that brand, stand in the way of the foul mood, then that is Microsoft's Freaking Problem!

Yes! Let's Bother The Hell Out Of the Manajerk, and Give Her the Worst Day of Her Life!!!<ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/september-2-fb-update-new-troll-to-welcome.1805/]</ref>}}

===Bann has happened again===
Chris again requests for a trolling plan to troll Ms.Manajerk which is according to his [[Facebook#Chris_Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|Facebook post]] on 6 [[September 2013]], ignoring the '''No trolling plans''' rule again.
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:00 pm'''
Ha! I sincerely do not find anything credible about this forum that makes it Not-Trolling. We really should Troll (name redacted) now that she has followed in [[Michael Snyder]]'s steps now. She deserves revenge in Chris' name. <ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/bann-has-happened-again.1851/]</ref>}}

===YOU ALL DO NOTHING BUT CONTINUE TO TROLL PEOPLE!!!===
After getting the responses he doesn't desire, Chris then tard rages and shows off his huge [[Chris and his ego|ego]] about how [[Chris and copyright|taking his words and content without permission or consent is trolling and cyber-bullying.]] Again, he pretends as if he is not Chris at all.
{{quotebox|'''by paintingatree » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:02 pm'''
IF this was NOT a Trolling Forum, you all would NOT be talking at all about Christian. [[Chris and his ego|The more you talk about him, AND bother him in ANY Communications, AND take his words and content without permission or consent, THE MORE YOU BASTARDS ARE SO TROLLING AND CYBER-BULLYING!!!]]

DESTROY THIS FORUM AND THE DAMN CWCKI NOW!!!<ref>[https://kiwifar.ms/threads/you-all-do-nothing-but-continue-to-troll-people.1855/]</ref>}}

==Gallery of screencaps Chris took of the CWCki forum and posted on [[Facebook]]==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks board regular "Lucrid" and assures us the [[JenkinsJinkies]] sodomy story was made up.
File:Koreans.PNG|Chris denigrates Korean cuisine due to a misunderstanding.
File:No_trolling_plans.jpg|"No Trolling Plans"; Who the f*** are they kidding?" - [[Facebook#No_trolling_plans|Chris, over Facebook]]
File:CWCKiForumsPoll.jpg|Right; I'm ugly as hell. <nowiki>|:(</nowiki>
</gallery>
</center>
[[Category: Websites]]

==See also==
* [[CWCki]]
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]]
* [[Trollin' Train]]
* [[Sonichu Girls]]
* [[GameFAQs]]

==References==
<references/>

==External link==
*[https://kiwifar.ms/forums/christian-weston-chandler.18/ CWCki forums]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt

2015-09-21T00:34:26Z

DrCogsy:

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:Kengle_Pop-up.gif|55px]]</div>
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:260px-Kenneth_Erwin_Englehardt.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| Kenneth Erwin Englehardt
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Kengle
|-
| '''Religion'''
| [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]]
|-
| '''Age'''
| 56
|-
| '''Gender'''
| [[Male]]
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[American]]
|-
| '''[[Race]]'''
| White
|-
| '''Education'''
| DeKalb Technical College ([[Wikipedia:Associate_degree#United_States|AAS]], accounting)
Kennesaw State University ([[Wikipedia:Bachelor of Business Administration|BBA]], accounting)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Bookkeeper
|-
|}

'''Kenneth Erwin Englehardt''', affectionately nicknamed '''Kengle''' by Christorians, is one of [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]] [[white knights]]. As an overweight, inept, autistic, middle-aged, part-time bookkeeper and accountant with a penchant for creating bizarre artwork, Kengle naturally feels as though he shares a lot in common with him.

Kengle is also notable for being one of two confirmed genuine fans of [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] during the comic's run (another being [[The July 10th Messages#True_Fan|Sonichuizcool]]).

== Relationship with Chris ==
Kengle's intentions towards Chris seem entirely [[True and Honest]]. Kenneth will often give praise to Chris when he feels there is justification in doing so. A notable example of this was praising on Christian on some of his artwork a [[medallion]], having an opinion on a [[video game]], and breathing in and out. That being said, he'll occasionally make what appears to be a subtle jab at Chris, and even outright call him out when he's clearly in the wrong, in particular over the events of [[26 December 2014]].

Kenneth is well-known for his artwork: Sonichen and Rosechen [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/]. While he was initially rejected as a troll by Chris, this is no longer the case, and they have been Facebook friends for quite a while. Kenneth remains the only person on record to have made a Sonichu-Derivative website. Occasionally, he does post on Chris's Facebook statuses. There is some debate on whether Kenneth can be considered a member of Chris's inner circle on Facebook, they do have a number of mutual friends, the most notable being [[William Elliott Waterman]], but Kenneth is often flatly ignored and sometimes treated contemptuously by Chris. Despite being known as a lolcow on the forums, by and large he is actually quite well-liked on Facebook.

Kenneth has also hosted anti-bullying forums in the past, on Sonichu.org and Spergweb.com. Technical issues (caused by his unfamiliarity with forum design) and trolling forced these off the internet. While Chris did express interest in his idea of making a fan-site, this did not materialize due to Kenneth's unfamiliarity with Dreamweaver.

Kengle has also bought several of Chris' [[eBay]] items, and sent him some sardines after Chris's [[Destruction Of Chris's House|house burned down]]. Kengle is considered a lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] fan comic ''Sonichen,'' which is somewhat reminiscent of low-budget Eldritch abominations. As far as can be deduced, Chris is only vaguely aware of this horrific homage, and disapproves. [[Parody|Ironically]], Kengle justifies his comic as a parody.

Ken once bought a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' comic book. The problem was that it contained a preview for ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' at the start, which predictably got Chris hotheaded.

Although Kengle is classified as lolcow in his own right in part due to his bizarre artwork and websites, he is considered more of a borderline/low-grade cow compared to more infamous cows on the forum. It was recently noted that Kenneth's Sonichen and Rosechen website was dismantled and rebuilt as a general website to exhibit his artwork. Whether the comic will return remains to be seen.

Kengle has also become known on the forums as a "lolcowboy" as he has befriended and can often be seen pandering to multiple notable lolcows on Facebook.

==Relationship with Trolls==
Kengle was banned from the [[Kiwi Farms]] because he does not seem to comprehend that there are [[trolls|mean people on the Internet]], and instead believes that everyone is genuinely interested in Chris as a cool famous Internet dude who everyone wants to befriend. A thread was made specifically about Kengle, and it has ballooned to 120 pages, and counting.

In many ways, Kengle is the [[Rosechu]] to Chris's [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]; a useless borderline-NPC character who shows up occasionally to be mildly annoying.

==External Links==
* [http://www.sonichenandrosechen.com/ Kengle's ''Sonichen'' website.] '''Note:''' Will cause nightmares.
* [http://www.kennethengelhardt.com Ken's official website]
* [http://lolcow.wiki/wiki/Kenneth_Erwin_Engelhardt Kengle on the LOLcow Wiki]

{{people}}
[[Category:People]]

Manajerks

2015-09-20T20:29:57Z

DrCogsy:

{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Image:B-manajerk_real.jpg|thumb|right|Artist's rendition of what the B-Manajerk may have actually looked like, based on Chris's descriptions.]]

'''Manajerks''' (a [[Wikipedia:Portmanteau|portmanteau]] of "manager" and "[[JERKS|jerk]]") are villains featured in [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]], most prominently in the [[Sub-Episodes]], who regularly antagonize [[Chris]]'s [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic book counterpart]]. They are based on a multitude of real life store managers who all threw Chris out of their places of business for being a creepy stalker during his [[Love Quest]]. In the comic, the manajerks are all super powered agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], whom Chris and his team of recolors regularly have to defeat.

==Origins==
Chris coined the term in [[CWC's Diary]] to describe the two Charlottesville [[Wal-Mart]] managers who confronted him on 22 June 2005. He has since used it in reference to other perceived enemies, including the managers of his local [[Target]], the management of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Mall]], [[Michael Snyder]], and another Wal-Mart manager who ejected him from the chain's Ruckersville location in the summer of 2013.

==Manajerks in real life==
Real-life manajerks, or as they're known to people who aren't infantile buffoons, "managers," are employees responsible for organizing other employees to accomplish desired goals within a business. While sometimes frustrating to those who work under their supervision, managers usually seek only to improve the productivity and prosperity of their workplace, thus benefiting both customer and employee alike.

At times, the duties of a manager can sometimes require them to take charge of difficult situations, such as a [[Chris|patron]] who loiters in [[Get-Tar Region|the workplace]], purchasing nothing and using the facilities as his personal retreat. Such situations can have a negative effect on the business. For example, if this hypothetical patron happened to be [[Chris and health#Hygiene|unwilling to shower]] and had numbers of pairs of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]], his odor might prove distasteful to paying customers. Similarly, if this purely fictional patron should happen to hold [[Attraction Sign|a sign]] expressing his desire for [[Chris and sex|intimate relations]] with young [[Chris and race|white]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|women]], it might also put off paying customers who would find the patron [[autism|crude and bizarre]]. Even worse, if such a patron were to [[Mal-Wart|vandalize store property]] or engage in similar property destruction, it's often a manager's responsibility to step in, and inform the patron that his behavior is inappropriate for a place of business. If the patron becomes [[Chris and negotiation|unresponsive or difficult]], even to the point of, say, [[GameStop Assault|assaulting said manager with pepper spray]], the manager may also be charged with contacting the [[Jerkop|proper authorities]] to have him escorted ([[Kick the Autistic|forcibly, if need be]]) from the premises.

==Manajerks in ''Sonichu''==
In the pages of ''Sonichu'', manajerks, like [[jerkop|jerkops]], [[Mary Lee Walsh|college deans]], [[CADD Chef|CADD instructors]], and other [[Jerkhief|authority figures]], are all tyrannical cockblockers who want nothing more than to ruin Chris's life. To this end, whenever Chris enters a public place to spend hours drawing comics, playing [[video games]], building [[Heart Torch of Fail|crude sculptures]] with [[Pixelblocks]], and panhandling for sexual favors, these evil manajerks descend upon him like the Gestapo, ordering him to leave and never return. Just as Chris refuses to recognize the authority of private security personnel and the police, he also dismisses the manajerks as having no say in how he abuses their businesses. It's also worth noting that Chris seems to have only a nebulous grasp of how businesses work (e.g. his suggestion that you "tip your waitress" the next time you visit your local [[GameStop]]),<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref> which may explain why he takes their actions so personally.

Since Chris tends to assume all of his enemies are conspiring against him in one great, monolithic organization, he depicts the manajerks and jerkops as operatives of the same [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Chris-hating team]], with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as its leader. Similarly, Chris also assumes that any perceived attack against him is an attack against anything he believes he represents, and so the manajerks and other enemies are depicted as being anti-romance, anti-[[virgin]], anti-[[autistic]], etc.

Though Chris has depicted manajerks numerous times in the comics, not much is actually known about how they operate. Unlike jerkops, who have known to target any and all lovers in the city of [[CWCville]] during their invasions,<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_5/Page_25</ref> the manajerks seem to target Chris and only Chris. This would seem to make them appear to be assassins of a sort, but Chris is only ever seen being attacked by them while in stores, such as [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] or [[McDonald's]], which may instead suggest that the manajerks really are store managers, but they just happen to be evil love-hating footsoldiers of PVCC as well. Following the revelation in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] that all the manajerks were brainwashed just like the jerkops were, this seems most likely.

Of note however, is that Chris refers to all the stores where these confrontations take place by a comic book alias. In the comic, he isn't getting thrown out of [[Fashion Square Mall]]; he's fighting in the ''Fa-Square'', of the ''Sho-Mall Region''. Target is similarly referred to as the Get-Tar Region and Wal-Mart is the Mal-Wart Region and the McDonalds in the Wal-Mart became M-C-D-Ville. The manajerks are shown to reside in and possibly rule over these regions, as [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] refers to manajerk [[ScotPalazzo]] as having "banned all virgins from his region", which seems to suggest that the manajerks were not restricted to just being soldiers, but were more like war lords. This of course raises the question however, of how bad things have to be in [[CWCville]] that terrorists are able to take over whole shopping complexes and declare ownership of them.

===B-Manajerk===
[[Image:B-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Based on a True Story.]]

B-Manajerk was a manajerk first featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. To date, he is one of the only villains that Chris has ever been able to defeat single-handedly, as almost every other one-on-one fight Chris has ever had in the comics inevitably ended with him getting beaten half to death [[Chris and writing|until he was saved by another character]]. Not much is known about the B-Manajerk, not even his real name. What little we do know comes from Chris's own records of their encounters, as described below. If Chris's accounts are anything to go by, The B-Manajerk was the manager of the McDonald's in the Wal-Mart Chris got kicked out of, or else a subordinate to the man Chris identifies only as a "Merried Seinor Comic". One way or another, Chris was kicked out of the McDonald's, but felt that he was still entitled to loiter in the rest of the Wal-Mart and play with [[Pixelblocks]]. Since this was outside of the B-Manajerk's jurisdiction, he called in the manager of the Wal-Mart to deal with him, at which point Chris ran off like a little bitch, which Chris seems to consider a brilliant tactical victory.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

<small>{{quote|June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Niggos|Bla]][[Chris and race|ck]], [[Obesity|Fat]] Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love Quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblocks|Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the [[W-M-Manajerk|Wal-Mart Manajerk]], and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|Extract from [[CWC's Diary]]}}</small>
[[File:B Manajerk.jpg|thumb|right|Based on a truer story.]]
The B-Manajerk first appeared in Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris sits peacefully at the McDonald's, which he terms "M-C-D-Ville" in the "[[Mal-Wart]] Region", until the B-Manajerk and the Merried Seinor Comic confront him preemptively. While the Merried Seinor Comic has cybernetic arms and legs, the B-Manajerk is arrayed in golden armor, wears glasses and has a round head, looking a great deal like the [[Jerkhief]], as Chris describes in his journal entry. He is also armed with a golden axe and a pair of large guns. B-Manajerk explains that the Jerkhief warned them about Chris, and since having a mate of any kind is a violation of Mal-Wart law, they plan to "intercept" him, using [[Mecha-Jerkops]] on loan from the Jerkhief.

Though outnumbered, Chris stands his ground, and [[Darkbind Sonichu]] comes to his aid, destroying the Mecha-Jerkops and defeating the Merried Seinor Comic so that Chris can battle the B-Manajerk one-on-one. He transforms into [[Chris-chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and the "[[Anime Wings|anime wings]]" he had been wearing on his head transform into working wings, similar to the Wing Hat power-up from ''Super Mario 64''. The B-Manajerk uses rocket boosters mounted to his back to confront Chris-Chan in an aerial duel, but Chris uses several techniques to confuse and misdirect him, including a decoy made of Pixelblocks. After defeating the B-Manajerk, Chris lectured both of his enemies on the importance of his [[Love Quest]] and the absolute necessity of his [[Attraction Sign]].

The B-Manajerk would briefly return in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the [[Time Void]].

Contrary to popular belief, this was actually not the last anyone saw or heard of B-Manajerk and his partner however, like it was for so many others before them. Though he was never actually ''seen'' again, the B-Manajerk was mentioned during the events of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']]. Towards the end of the issue, whilst [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] return from the battle against [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]] and [[Robotnik]], they receive a psychic message from [[Magi-Chan]] informing them of the state of the battle. In the same textwall in which he announces the death of [[Ivy]] and the destruction of the [[Decepti-Clones]], he briefly mentions that B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic had somehow grown to a gigantic size and took part in the battle with the rest of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]]. The battle is never actually shown, but Magi-Chan assures Sonichu and the readers that they were defeated by the Kart Megazord owned by the CWC-[[Power Rangers]] and that the two of them were shrunk back to their original size. The Kart Megazord itself is briefly glimpsed in the background.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_93</ref>

This would be the last time the manajerks were ever seen or heard from in the comics. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], Chris would use his [[Colossal Chan]] form to completely destroy PVCC and undo the brainwashing effect used to control all it's members. According to [[Mailbag 52]], this freed all the manajerks too. Chris later stated that the manajerks were cleared by the [[CWCville]] courts for their crimes, due to the fact that they couldn't help their actions at the time, but that they were depowered before being set free.{{cite}}

[[Chris and race|And yes, the "B" in "B-Manajerk" does stand for "black"]].<ref>[[Sonichu 4 Official Videobook]]</ref>

===Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby===
[[Image:MSC.jpg|thumb|left|You're missing both your arms, you work in a [[McDonald's]], and you have the most embarrassing and incomprehensible name in the world. Obviously the answer is to go into supervillainy.]]

Merried Seinor Comic is quite possibly the most unfortunately named villain in all of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', as one can't even figure out what words [[Chris]] was trying to write or what meaning they could possibly convey. The name of his real life counterpart, Kirby McDerbie, offers no insight into this strangeness. [[Trolls]] on [[/cwc/]] have been speculating for as long as the character has been around, but no-one has ever been able to determine for sure what his name actually means, though some have guessed that Chris may have meant to say "Married Senior Comic".

The Merried Seinor Comic appeared for the first time in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']], helping the [[B-Manajerk]] in his opposition of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. He is one half of the McDuo of the City of [[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]] of the Region of [[Mal-Wart]]. He has cybernetic arms and legs and is armed with a broadsword, for no apparent reason except that it allows Chris to recreate the Black Knight scene from ''[[Monty Python]] and the Holy Grail''.<ref>[[:Image:MSCPython.jpg]]</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Merried Seinor Comic was defeated in a sword fight by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], whilst Chris defeated his partner. In [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], which continues the two part story, the [[W-M-Manajerk]] arrives as back-up, but when he fails as well the McDuo flee the scene, with the Comic not seeming to even care about the recent loss of both his arms.

In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], the character appears at [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention, where he is even more inexplicably described as Merried Seinor Comic/Kirby, although the "Kirby" has been [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|removed in more recent versions]]. This is the last time the character is seen, but as mentioned above, he did participate in the Battle of CWCville offscreen, becoming a giant along with the B-Manajerk and fighting the Kart Megazord. It is presumed that he was depowered and set free like the other manajerks after [[Collosal Chan]] reversed [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s brainwashing.

===W-M-Manajerk===
[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|200px|Truly a [[Kick the Autistic|shining example]] to us all. But for W-M-Manajerk, it's an average day.]]

After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonalds, as was described above, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonalds, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|weeaboo magic spells]] at him. Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could; by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his [[Chris and reality|fantasy life]].
[[File:W-M-Manajerk fan art.jpg|thumb|right|[[Metal Gear Solid|Don't fuck with this manajerk.]]]]
In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his [[ED]] page in [[March 2008]], he says he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from Sub-Episode 5 of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-Chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be physically disabled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

The W-M-Manajerk character first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu #3'']] and reused in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. In the comic, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]] at the end of Sub-Episode 4. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on [[Wikipedia:Richard Nixon|Richard Nixon]] in the ''[[Futurama]]'' episode "A Head in the Polls". This episode featured Nixon as a similarly built robot with a head in a jar. The concept of a head in a jar is hardly unique to ''Futurama'', but it is a show beloved by Chris and virtually nothing he draws hasn't been at least loosely based off an already existing character.

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would. Just as Chris begins to lose hope though, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to Crystal, whom he had previously drawn on one of his home-made [[Yu-gi-Oh!]] cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and [[Crystalina Rosechu]] respectively, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, were agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] lead by [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the head-jar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC.

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is actually pretty damn strong. It survives several attacks from both Chris and Crystal, and appeared to possess super-strength, being able to effortlessly lift [[Obesity|the very heavy]] Chris high above its head, and was also able to punch him with sufficient strength to send him flying backwards into a soda fountain. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking, even upon collision with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s head. It can be assumed that the head-jar also acted as a kind of life support system.

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Rosechu]] could probably beat him up now.

===ScotPalazzo===
[[Image:SchuComic8Page36.jpg|thumb|left|170px|ScotPalazzo: a villain who has an uncanny talent of unnaturally bending his arms around tables at 90 degree angles.]]

The only man on the planet to spell his first and last name without a space, and possibly the first manajerk Chris encountered, ScotPalazzo was based upon the manager of the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], rechristened the "Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Chris's experiences in Fashion Square were documented earlier in the series when he battled the [[Jerkhief]] and got trolled hard by [[Hanna]], but ScotPalazzo himself would not be introduced until [[Sub-Episode 6]], when he expressed envy of Chris for his made-up TV show ''CWC's Backyard Safari''. Scot was clearly designed to resemble [[Wikipedia:List_of_Excel_Saga_characters#Il_Palazzo|Lord Il Palazzo]] from ''[[Excel Saga]]'', and he is depicted as a jaded misanthrope who blamed love itself for his mother's murder-suicide.

Whether or not the real Scot Palazzo suffered such a traumatic life as his comic counterpart, the fictional Scot remained one of the only villains in the series to give any kind of reason for his actions. [[Wes Iseli]] was motivated by jealousy, Mary gave reasons for her own war on love in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']], [[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'s motivation was existentialism, and then there was Scot. Despite being one of the few villains to actually have motivation to do all the crazy super-villain shit the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] gets up to however, he never actually ''does'' anything. In his debut appearance, he hires more [[jerkop|jerkops]] to take down Chris, but he never gets any kind of [[semen|comeuppance]] for this and he never fights any of the heroes. He cameos again in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']] at the council of villains, and his character description says that he banned all [[virgin with rage|virgins]] from his region, but this is all he has ever been seen to do. In many ways, he is more like an actual manager than any of the other manajerks on this page.

His given motivation conflicts with later revelations that all PVCC members, including the manajerks, were really just brainwashed slaves of Mary Lee Walsh. [[Collosal Chan|Colossal Chan]]'s power supposedly undid all brainwashing, and Chris's statements on the subject claimed that all the manajerks were cleared of everything. Presumably this can be taken to mean that Scot was also a victim, and that his jaded personality was reverted to whatever he was like prior to Mary's effect.

===Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)===
[[File:Get-Tar Manajerks.jpg|thumb|Behold, the two most harmless villains in the series.]]

The last of the manajerks to be introduced, the duo of Turdijerk and his accomplice Trebor Capman first appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']], where they confronted Chris in the Get-Tar Region. The episode was based on an incident that occurred in real life at a newly opened [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] store in Chris's area. Attempting to start fresh in new [[Attraction Location|prowling grounds]], Chris planned to pay a single dollar to receive a soda at their snack bar and exploit their free refill policy to keep refilling that same soda over and over again while he spent the entire day sitting there doodling his shitty characters. This finally caught the attention of management, who eventually summoned officer [[Bagget]] to get him out of the store.

Unlike previous Manajerks, Chris doesn't give these two any special powers or armor, and the two aren't even named until their later cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], when all of the Manajerks meet with Mary Lee Walsh at PVCC. In their initial appearance, the two manajerks walk up to Chris at his table and tell him that he was loitering and had to get out. Even in his idealized fantasy world where Chris whitewashes everything he does, the comic version of Chris is indeed loitering, and he also initially ignores the two managers trying to talk to him. Upon noticing them, he screams, and then somehow summons a tornado to blow them both away. It should be noted at this point that these two manajerks did not actually attack Chris, or even threaten him, meaning Chris just [[Chris and the Law|assaulted two unarmed normal humans for telling him to leave their store]].

The names of the characters are puzzling. [[Trolls]] speculate that Trebor Capman might actually be an alias for someone called ''Robert'' Capman, given Chris's love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]], and while the origin of Turdijerk's name is somewhat more ambiguous, the two most common theories are that the name was either derived from a stereotype of the Indian accent, (as the character has a vaguely South Asian appearance and his real life counterpart is probably the same), or that the name "Turdijerk" is merely Chris's [[Random-access humor|juvenile sense of humor]] and a way to insult the real life manager by giving him a nickname that sounds like [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|"turd"]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Merried Seinor Comic detailed fanart.png|Dramatic Rendition.
Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|[[Soul Calibur|Video game recreation]].
Image:Manajerks.jpg|Getting decapitated only pissed him off.
Image:MSCsavestheday.png|Merried Seinor Comic, stopping the [[autistic]] wonder from [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|procreating]].
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Fashion Square Mall|Fa-Square of Sho-Mall Region]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[PVCCitizens]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Walmart|Mal-Wart Region]]
*[[McDonald's|M-C-D-Ville]]
*[[Target|Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Amanda]]

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Megan Shrine

2015-09-19T20:58:45Z

DrCogsy:

[[Image:0825-EP12-5P6-8.jpg|thumb|250px|The Megan Shrine is on the right.]]

The '''Megan Shrine''' is a small shrine in [[Christian's room]], containing drawings and gifts from [[Megan Schroeder]]. The shrine is an excellent example of [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christian's]] nearly [[Chris and religion|religious]] obsession for her.

Collectively, the contents of the shrine contrast in a strange way with Chris's otherwise intensive efforts to assert his stereotypical masculinity and heterosexuality. It's full of [[My Little Pony]] dolls, stuffed Hello Kitty toys, hyper-feminine shoujo manga like ''[[Wikipedia:Fushigi Yûgi|Fushigi Yûgi]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Tokyo Mew Mew|Tokyo Mew Mew]]'', DVDs of ''Wedding Peach'' and other similarly effeminate shoujo [[anime]], ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' merchandise, and at least one American live-action chick flick (''[[Wikipedia:The Truth About Cats and Dogs|The Truth About Cats and Dogs]]'').

The shrine features different pieces of artwork encased in clear page protectors, organized in two columns, presumably all drawn by Megan. The left column features Megan's original version of [[Patti-Chan]] as well as various Pokemon drawn in a Sonic the Hedgehog art style, while the right one has a drawing of Sailor Moon along with pictures of two of Megan's characters: Spunky Skunk, who would be written into Chris's comics as [[Megagi La Skunk]]; and Hound Howl, who would be adapted into the world of ''Sonichu'' as Canino Houndhowl. Notably, each picture except for those of Sailor Moon and Patti-Chan appear to have been traced from the same source, an official [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] illustration. This indicates that like Chris, Megan found some merit in recoloring the same character. It is not surprising that Megan's traces and redesigns are more complex and of a subjectively higher standard than Chris's.

By [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009|September 19th, 2009]], Chris had removed parts of the shrine, including the gallery of artwork. Almost exactly [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|a year later]], Chris had removed much of the shrine altogether, with the exception of his My Little Ponies.
{{-}}
==Confirmed Objects==
These are the objects which were collected as a result of Megan and her apparent influence over Chris. There may be more objects hidden in the organized chaos of Chris's room.

VHS Tapes:
* Sailor Moon R: The Movie
* Sailor Moon: The Legend Begins

To the left of the bookshelf the following drawings were hung:

*[[:image:308-Megtune.jpg|Sailor Megtune drawing]]
*[[:image:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|A drawing of Megan as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character The Dark Magician]]
*[[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|A drawing of Chris as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character Dark Magician Girl]]
*[[:image:Megan ace of clubs.JPG|A drawing of Ace of Clubs]], who would later on be incorporated into the comics as [[Patti Chan]].
*A drawing of a Raichu.
*[[:image:319-PendingDoom.jpg|Pending Doom drawing]]
*[[:image:320-Apocolypse.jpg|Apocolypse drawing]]
*[[:image:321-IceCune.jpg|Ice Cune drawing]]

Three drawings were hung to the right of the bookshelf:

*[[:image:313-MegansSMoon.jpg|Sailor Moon drawing by Megan]]
*[[:image:316-MegagiOriginal.jpg|Spunky Skunk drawing]], who would later on be retconned in Sonichu as [[Megagi La Skunk]].
*[[:image:318-HoundHowl.jpg|Hound Howl drawing]]. Appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as Canino Houndhowl.

On the bottom of the of the bookshelf three drawings were placed: the covers for ''CWC's Mix Jams '06: Story of My Quest'' [[:image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg|Part 1]] and [[:image:059-CWCJam062Front.jpg|2]] (apparently some kind of a Megan themed CD) with a drawing of Mewtwo between them. Photos of the bookshelf after the Megan Shrine was removed reveal that the drawings at the bottom hid a fifth shelf.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0731-Megan Shrine1.JPG
Image:0732-Megan Shrine2.JPG
Image:0733-Megan Shrine3.JPG
Image:0734-Megan Shrine4.JPG
Image:0735-Megan Shrine5.JPG
Image:0736-Megan Shrine6.JPG
Image:100_2247.JPG
</gallery>
</center>

{{stub}}

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

BlueSpike

2015-09-03T01:59:42Z

DrCogsy:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | <s>Sweethearts</s> Trolls
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:JULAYYYYYYYY.PNG|250px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |BlueSpike
|-
|'''Real name'''
|David
|-
| '''Alias'''
| LeonSpike<br/>Julie Milvana<br>Max Milvana
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| c. 1996
|-
| '''Gender'''
| <s>Female</s> Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| [[Trolls|Troll]]
|-
|}
{{Articleofthenow}}
Most 13-year-old boys only dream of getting to watch an [[autistic]] [[Chris|manchild]] shove pieces of [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|CRAYOLA FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC]] up his ass. '''BlueSpike''' (AKA '''LeonSpike''', "a 13 year old brat" according to Chris) got to live that dream, when he [[troll]]ed Chris through 2 identities: a [[sweetheart]] named '''Julie''' (aka '''JULAAAY''') and her brother '''Max'''.

The trolling caused events such as Chris admitting to Julie that he had tried a [[dildo]] and [[sex toys|anal beads]], the infamous [[sex tape]] where he fucks [[Kimmi]], a description of a future scene from [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] alluding to his [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]], how Chris hates everything that's not Aryan, his [[Bob Walks In|father walking in]] to him [[mass debating]], and other sick shit.

Due to his sadistic treatment of Chris, especially [[Julie Reveals Herself|during the Mumble call where he revealed himself as Julie]], BlueSpike remains a controversial figure among Christorians. He is also indirectly responsible for the "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" meme, so he is partially to blame for all the [[weens]] who still find it amusing.

==Julie==
[[Image:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|thumb|left|100px|What Chris believed Julie looked like.]]
[[File:ChrisandJulieLBP.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Chris and Julie, together in [[LittleBigPlanet]]. The salad days.]]
{{quote|I can tell in my heart Julie IS 19.|Chris on Julie.<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY, JULAAAAAAY!!!!|Chris professes his undying love while screwing [[Kimmi|a doll]].}}

'''Julie Milvana'''<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref> (born 13 July 1989<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4]]</ref>) was a [[Molvanîa]]n Methodist<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' fan who became Chris's sweetheart after [[PandaHalo]]. Her kidnap by her evil brother Max led to Chris's ill-fated [[Ohio trip|rescue mission]] to Cleveland.

"Julie" first showed up in IRC in December [[2008]], suggesting the infamous [[Tour of Chris's House]] video.<ref>[[IRC (15 December 2008)]]</ref> She later posed a ton of ''Sonichu'' questions submitted by fans<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> and was invited to [[Sonichu Girls]]. As early as 3 [[January 2009]], she asked Chris what he would do if a [[JERK]] kidnapped his [[heartsweet]]--he said, ''"I would learn his demands if any, or if he hurt her, I'd strike the jerk back."'' Julie also got excited by the prospect of an orgy with Chris and the Sonichu Girls.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> The next day, it was revealed that Chris had promised his virginity to both Panda and Julie, and both ladies were furious, with Julie threatening to kill herself.<ref>[[IRC (04 January 2009)]]</ref> Later she calmed down and moved to Ohio to live with relatives. Ever classy, Chris suggested a threesome with PandaHalo.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs]]</ref>

Chris refused to drive to Ohio, instead insisting that Julie come to him. He also couldn't be bothered to attack Clyde in IRC, even when he threatened Julie.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 2]]</ref>

When Chris chose [[Sarah May]] over her, Julie was crushed. Chris apologized, and then abruptly [[Autism|went back to talking about vidya]].<ref name="a">[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref>

Clyde Cash made more serious threats against Julie, forcing Chris to upload a famous [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|5 February 2009 video]] admitting that he was gay.<ref name="a" />

Once Chris got it into his head that PandaHalo had burned to death in a wildfire, he began to focus even more on Julie as a sweetheart.

Chris received a [[:File:LetterfromJulie(1of2).jpg|letter]] written by Julie, the first physical [[:File:LetterfromJulie(2of2).jpg|proof]] of her "existence". In it, it details the love professed by her to Chris.

That Valentine's Day, Chris uploaded [[LittleBigPlanet|an ''LBP'' level]], and Chris and Julie took their relationship to the next level with cybersex. [[Bob Chandler]] [[Bob Walks In|walked in]], and the rest is history. [[Borb|Chris's parents]] didn't believe that Julie was TRUE and HONEST.<ref>[[Bob Walks In Aftermath]]</ref>

In an infamous video on 20 [[February 2009]], Chris created a sex video for Julie with the help of his inflatable assistant Kimmi, in order to give Julie an idea of what their first time together would be like. Chris's agonized cries of "JULAAAAAAAY!" would prove one of the most striking and memorable of CWC-isms; to this date, many erroneously believe that Kimmi ''is'' Julie. This is not so; Chris may be the most desperate man alive, but he's not quite got to the point where he's convinced himself any of his sex dolls are real.

{{clear}}

==Max==
[[Image:Anon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The mysterious Max.]]
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|Receipts from Chris's epic journey to Cleveland. Note that he asked for no [[pickle]]s on the mayo hamburger, and that the place he at was a [[Sonic]] Drive-In.]]

Max was the evil, mysterious brother of Julie who held her against her will. On 26 February 2009, Chris valiantly [[Ohio trip|traveled to Ohio]] in a bid to rescue her and got his parents all worried. (His ancestors' spirits had wished him "a Safe Trip to Ohio" two days prior at [[Aunt Corrina]]'s funeral.)<ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> Unfortunately, because Chris got the "wrong" address, he ended up at a run down house in the ghetto that was inhabited by an elderly [[black]] woman.<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13]]</ref>

{{Main|Julie Reveals Herself}}

On 3 [[March 2009]], Max gained control of Chris's PlayStation Network account, and during an hour-long audio session threatened to sell the PSN account and forbade Julie from seeing Chris. Chris was coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] to be the mayor of CWCville and shoving the pieces of his destroyed [[Sonichu medallion]] up his ass, before he was able to talk to Julie, at which point Julie admits that both she and Max were the figments of BlueSpike's imagination. At no point did BlueSpike even mention the sex tape (which had already gotten nearly 2 million hits on SlutLoad). BlueSpike's female voice is an unconvincing falsetto, which makes it all the more hilarious (or [[duress]]ful, depending on who you talk to) that it worked so well on Chris.

This incident shattered both his [[heart level]] and his anus to 0%.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|1xo3SAwefBM}}
</center>

{{-}}

==Encyclopedia Dramatica Troll War==
[[Image:Advicespikemedallion.png|thumb|right|Kids say the darndest things.]]

On 5 [[March 2009]], an all-out civil war broke out between trolls on the Chris-chan [[ED]] discussion page on whether BlueSpike had gone too far, whether he was a hypocrite, or if he was merely a tool initiated by Clyde Cash to ruse Chris into the further milking of [[lulz]]. Suffice to say, a combination of outrage and troll remorse turned the whole event into a clusterfuck.

{{quote|If BlueSpike really is 13 years old, then we know who the real child molesters are. "hey, they made fun of YOU for doing sonic recolours?, look at this guy!". "hey! be one of the cool kids, help this autistic guy jack off, pretend to be a girl so we can video tape and record it..." . Thats the REAL reason you were shiting it and called for a 30 minute silence just after, Clyde/Mayes. At least you had the balls to say that it was you responsible in channel once. You know its not going to be pizza's at 1am, and you know its not a fucking cat. If Bluespike really is 13, then you groomed a child to perform sex acts on a mentally retarded man for your pleasure. You're fucked, son. You both broke a lolcow, but theres better sport now, ruining your lives. And dont act like you dont care, I saw you shiting yourself all that night and the next, sending waves of members out to kill threads about it or put in false names, just like Your sock earlier in the page. Ready to have a seat of there?|Wit, ED user}}

Most of the trolling involved BlueSpike having phone sex with Chris for hours each night, listening to Chris masturbating. <ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E&feature=channel_page>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Gq35fqRk5E</ref> <ref = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpj5Hg80f1E</ref>  As BlueSpike was in complete control of Chris, he could have done more sinister things, but night after night he engaged in nothing but noisy, fabricated (on Blue's end) phone sex and listened to Chris very loudly go on dates with Rosie Palms. Draw your own conclusions about BlueSpike's sexuality. One such session did eventuate in the legendary interruption by the [[Internet lumberjack]].

Today, most trolls tend to frown on BlueSpike and his methods, though some weens yearn to return to the sadist days of BlueSpike in hopes of an age of trolling where [[A-Logging|physical pain is inflicted upon Chris]].

While one might think that this level of physical and mental abuse would leave lasting scars, BlueSpike's trolling had virtually '''no''' evident long-term impact on Chris. Just a few weeks after Julie revealed her true identity, Chris had moved onto thinking he'd found another [[Ivy|sweetheart]] online, and just a few weeks after that he had no trouble believing that he was having IM sex with a [[Vanessa Hudgens|world-famous celebrity]]. The main effect it did have was that although Chris remade a new Sonichu medallion, he stopped wearing it until 1 [[July 2009]].

Chris came to believe that BlueSpike was killed at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]], from an offhand comment Cash made in [[Mumble 12]]. On [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|his version of the ED page]], Chris stated that "That little S.O.B. later died at the hands of the "[[Transformers|Starscream]]" Troll, Clyde Cash." Of course, this statement was later [[Car Pranks|revealed to be a complete and utter bluff]]. Chris himself no longer believes BlueSpike is dead, as is evident from the next section.

==Called out==
On 23 [[August 2011]], [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David|Chris claimed]] to know BlueSpike's real identity (first name '''David''') and threatened to drop dox on him unless he made an apology video by 15 [[September 2011]]. In the video, BlueSpike was to tell people to stop calling Chris "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and yelling "JULAAAAAAAAYYY!" bin [[prank calls]]. Although BlueSpike did not respond to Chris' demands, the death of Bob 2 weeks later caused Chris to leave the internet before he could reveal BlueSpike's personal information, and he ultimately lost interest in exposing his tormentor.

Even if Chris did make a video about who BlueSpike really was, it would have been for naught. The personal information Chris had actually belonged to David Harlow, a lolcow also known as [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Nesshelper Nesshelper]. This is evidenced by Nesshelper and BlueSpike apparently sharing the same first name, the "real" photo of BlueSpike being a closeup of [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/File:Davidharlow.jpg this picture of Nesshelper], and Chris' claim of BlueSpike liking big rooms, which references an infamous [http://vimeo.com/21478293 video rant] where Nesshelper complained about the size of a hotel room he was staying in. Aside from not being a troll and having no reason nor motivation to go after Chris, the fact that Nesshelper sounds nothing like BlueSpike in his videos makes it clear they are not the same person. Furthermore, Nesshelper is said to be in his early 20s on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page, which means he would have been older than 13 during the Julie saga.

Chris was presumably given false information to highlight his [[autism|gullibility]] and possibly set up a feud between him and Nesshelper, similar to how [[Ahuviya Rotem Harel]] and [[Christopher Paul Whitney]] made negative remarks about Chris after he accused them of being [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]] respectively. Of course, the aforementioned death of Bob prevented a conflict between the 2 from occurring; regardless, it's likely Nesshelper wasn't even aware of Chris's misguided attempt to dox him out.

==See also==
{{Fan art}}
*[[BlueSpike PSN Chats]]
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
*[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]
*[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
*[[Julie Reveals Herself]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==

[http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B3D68D552646B0AD BlueSpike's infamous conversation with Chris] <---- Video Removed

{{Trolls}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Julie Saga]]

My Little Pony

2015-09-03T01:53:25Z

DrCogsy: Updated Chris's bronylicious adventures

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris: The original brony.]]
[[File:Mane6 Chaotic Combo.png|thumb|200px|A quick comparison between the [[wikipedia:Mane 6|Mane 6]] and the [[Chaotic Combo]].]]

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{DeadLinks}}

'''''My Little Pony''''' is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. In 2010, its [[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|modernized reinvention]] earned favorable acclaim among grown men, and a cult following called "bronies", with the equally [[retarded]] term "pegasisters" used for female fans. Chris is one of the few bronies to exist before the ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'' cartoon gained popularity and led to the coining the term, and picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made ''My Little Pony'' dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the ''Friendship is Magic'' cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]], his ''My Little Pony'' figurines can be seen hanging from his ceiling.

Chris used a picture of Applejack from ''Friendship is Magic'' as his [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series--[[Rainbow]] [[Tomgirl|Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Chris's Applejack avatar.]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a G3 My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokémon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]] for loving children's shows, it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on 31 [[March 2012]], he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was "Gabby Gums."

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the ''MLP:FiM'' character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her lazy eyes and [[Slow-in-the-minds|comical method of thinking]], whose first speaking appearance in the episode "The Last Roundup" was re-edited because one person (who would later be heavily criticized by the ''MLP:FiM'' fanbase) thought Derpy's voice and personality in said appearance was offensive to the disabled. Naturally, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that appeared to have some sort of disorder.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony-related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous fanfiction ''[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes]'' and the "SHED" installment of HotDiggedyDemon's [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offense at Rainbow Dash, a tomboyish character, being gorily killed in both videos and, in a characteristic fit of fatuous [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]], suggested that it was done because people hate [[Tomgirl Saga|tomboys and tomgirls]]. He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into the usual tirade of hatred against people in general.

In a twist of irony, it was recently discovered that Chris has not one, <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2FD70214E0CF6E92 Jappleack Playlist on Chris' YT account]</ref> but two <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2f2iqihk1im2B1M7ZXJyoCd-gkDLXYCQ Jackie and Jerry playlist on Chris' YT account] </ref> playlists from HotDiggedyDemon, [[Chris and hypocrisy|the creator of SHED.MOV that he hated so much.]] Also, he eventually would share a word of wisdom HotDiggedyDemon posted to his Facebook account that trolls noted would be really useful for Chris himself.

[[File:LegoDerpy.jpg|thumbnail|left|Chris's Lego pony in question; [[Chris and art|talented]] as always.]]

In 2013, Chris' actions would cause him to become a social pariah to the Brony community by calling out voice actress [[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] on her "Twilightlicious" video, claiming that she was tainting the name of the characters she had voiced by apparently supporting trolling and bullying. Many trolls had responded that his actions were, to say the very least, ''ridiculous'', due to him [[Autism|misunderstanding the context of her video]] and expecting a well-known celebrity [[Chris and his Ego|to personally answer to him]]. This certainly would have ended in Chris not hearing squat from Tara, had a troll not decided to forward his rant to her Facebook account. This is what she had to say:

{{quotebox|"I don't think I've seen anyone put an ugly spin on something this outrageously for their own attention. Anyone who follows me know that I'm on a huge anti-bullying platform, and even wrote and produced a song about it.

All my "twolling" as we on Twitter call it is completely adorable and makes people smile. Christian's article makes me angry & disappointed. Hope I never meet the guy."}}

Despite not meeting Chris before in her life, Tara immediately and insightfully chastises Chris as someone who would pull this stunt for attention, and makes note of her work in anti-bullying campaigns (which is something Chris would obviously not put any effort into researching). Chris did not respond, but in all likelihood ignored every word of what she said and dismissed her as a '''"DANG, DIRTY TROLL!"''' like he does with anybody who does not [[White knight|enable him]]. Eventually, though, he put her song "Take My Hand" on the [[Three-Quarter Woman]] CD.

When the ''[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony: Equestria Girls|Equestria Girls]]'' trailer was released, Chris threw a ''fit'' on Facebook, citing that it would attract ''"[[pedofork|pedofile]] (sic) perverts"'' into the fanbase.<ref>[[:File:Chris-Chan - FB - Equestria Girls.png]]</ref> Never mind that the ''MLP:FiM'' fanbase has always had perverts (not to mention that ''so does every other fanbase in the world'') and he has drawn porn of underage characters in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' 8]]. He then goes on to say that the ''Friendship is Magic'' crew is "Out Of Their Minds", immediately after saying "With All Due Respect," even going so far as to name-drop Lauren Faust, who at that point had left the show more than a year prior. He then comments on his own note, loudly demanding in ALL CAPS that somebody pull the plug on it. Much to the surprise of nobody, Hasbro Studios did not respond to Chris' suggestions. Oh, and he [[Chris and hypocrisy|later "liked" some videos related to the movie online and named it his #2 favorite]].

[[File:RainbowChrissy.JPG|thumb|right|Chris's Rainbow Dash cosplay.]]
In [[October 2014]], Chris posted his own [[Lego]] 'Derpy' to his [[Facebook]] page.

On [[26 December 2014]], Chris donned a pair of novelty ''My Little Pony'' sunglasses as a "disguise" while vandalizing a''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Boom]]'' display.

On 19 [[January 2015]], a photo was leaked depicting Chris dressed up in a Rainbow Dash costume. While other Rainbow Dash cosplayers have done relatively well-done costumes and most of the time look fine, Chris on the other hand just looks creepy--although, given his [[Chris and...|many other issues]], this is not a surprise.

On 29 [[August 2015]], Chris was seen cosplaying, again ,at [[OmegaCon]]; this time as "Vinyl Scratch, A.K.A. DJ Pon3!". This time, at least, Chris put a little effort into his costume; nevertheless, the outcome was still horrible.
[[File:OmegaconA.jpg|thumb|left|Note his trademark purple sunglasses]]

==Cutie mark==

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol on both an individual pony's thighs, representing their special talent and interest. Chris's "special talent", it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Prior to the [[Tomgirl Saga]], Chris likely would have defined himself by his art or perhaps his [[love quest]], but at this point seems to be anchoring his entire personality to his tomgirl status. Somewhat ironic is the fact that despite the implication of tomgirlhood being his special talent, Chris is a [[Tomgirl Pictures|very, ''very'' unconvincing tomgirl]].

[[File:Cutie mark.jpg|thumb|"Being really gross has got to be my destiny, 'cause that's what my cutie mark is telling me."]]
In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the two gender symbols , surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and art|felt-tip pens]].

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|''Sonichu'' Special #2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].
{{-}}

==Chris and Bronies==
Bronies are the teenage to adult males who have become fans of the Friendship is Magic incarnation of the My Little Pony franchise. While one would think Christian would be proud, or even claim responsibility for, Bronies given the contents of his Future Message, Chris manages to once again defy expectations and common sense. Chris seems to hate all Bronies simply because they have [[Duck| Ducks]] and are therefore JERKS. When Chris became a Tomgirl he considered himself a "Pegasister," which adult female fans of Friendship is Magic are called. It was only mater of time before he started making demands on Facebook for bronies to bow down to their Pegasister counterparts. He seems to blame the parts of the fandom which offend him, such as the Pony.mov series, on the wretched Brony MALES and their twisted perversions while assuring himself that the female fans of the show are no doubt responsible for all the elements of the fandom he admires and [[Mass Debating| Mass Debates]] to. While totally unconfirmed at the moment, it is speculated that his hatred for the MALE bronies is partially fueled by a belief they are [[Homos]].

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:Chris Pony.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The original Cheroki-Chan, made with Chris's own [[hair]] and Crayola Fuckin' Model Magic [[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] The improved store-bought Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Death threats|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Dreams|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan Schroeder|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchemest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', though part of the name may come from [[Wikipedia:Squall Leonhart|Squall Leonhart]] of [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VIII|''Final Fantasy VIII'']].
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]]. Based on Megan's brother [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony. A Christmas gift for Tyler, the son of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. A gift for Briana, one of the daughters of Gym Leader Tony.
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]] type. A gift for Caitlyn, the youngest daughter of Tony the Gym Leader.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony. Based on Linnea, Anna's friend and co-worker.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos."
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = THE original brony
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8aXhm_sm3bU}}
| Stardate = 8 March 2012
| Maker = [https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary TheCWCvilleLibrary]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]
==References==
<references />
==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]
[[Category:Television shows]]