CWCki - User contributions [en]

It's not that cold

2011-08-10T17:11:56Z

DrNurse:

{{Recent}}
'''It's not that cold''' is a bizarre, ''[[Random-access humor|non sequitur]]'' video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[August 2011]]. Chris is directly outside of his house, dressed in a red [[muscle bra]] and an [[Chris and fashion|ill-fitting miniskirt]]. Chris "digs up" [[Patti]], wears her fur as a coat, and hums the song "[[wikipedia:Goodbye Horses|Goodbye Horses]]" while making references to ''[[wikipedia:The Silence of the Lambs (film)|The Silence of the Lambs]]''.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = It's not that cold
| video = {{#ev:youtube|FTS2n3A7Gzc}}
| stardate = 9 [[August 2011]]
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = {{Redbra|text}}, {{SafetyParka|text}}
| previous = [[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Would you mount and do me.jpg|thumb|right|Reality was much more horrifying.]]
''[Chris walks into frame and crosses his arms over his chest, and proceeds to shake his head, causing his cheek fat to shake around]''

Ooh…brrrr…ooh, sure is cold out here…ooohh. Could really use, uh, somethin' to…k-keep me warm right now...or something.

''[Chris begins imitating what appears to be a digging-like motion]''

''[Chris starts humming, before putting on the Safety Parka and wraps fur around his neck, holding it in place]''

There we are! All nice and snuggley warm...and cozy. Thank you [[Patti]]! Now we are [[speech impediment|togedder]], forever.

''[Continues humming, and shows his ass to the camera, pulling up his skirt]''

Would you fuck me, [[/cwc/|789chan]]? I'd fuck me.

''[Pats his ass, continues humming and begins to dance around like [[Wikipedia:Jame Gumb|Buffalo Bill]] before sauntering over to the camera]''

Patt-''[Video ends]''

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = He's Baaaaaaaaaack!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UlihS-rSnV4}}
| maker = DrNurse
| stardate = 10 [[August 2011]]
| type = Welcome Home Tribute
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Calling Out#Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]|nextlink=Current}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011|2011-08-09]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

A Workout

2010-10-20T16:27:48Z

DrNurse:

'''A Workout''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 19 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris appears to have stuffed his [[muscle bra]] again and performs [[Chris_and_health#Exercise|a workout routine]] to ''Ass 'n' Titties'' by [[Wikipedia:DJ Assault|DJ Assault]], specifically a [[YouTube]] video which includes dancing by various ''World of Warcraft'' characters.

With the aid of readily available fitness calculators, [[Trolls|top men]] estimate Chris burned roughly 32 calories. Approximately one tenth of a serving of [[My Coke Rewards|cola]]. Further perspective can be gained by comparing how long it takes other activities to burn 32 calories: [[Chris_and_art|Drawing]] (7 minutes), [[PS3|Playing video games]] (11 minutes), [[Mass Debating]] (12 minutes), [[Chris_and_television|Lying motionlessly while watching TV]] (15 minutes) and [[Chris_and_religion|Kneeling while praying]] (15 minutes).

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Workout
| video = {{#ev:youtube|_2PMKRwgAEw}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = VA Red Cross Blood Donor, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
'''''0:00-0:10''' Video starts with Chris putting on Ass 'n' Titties by DJ Assault. Chris faces the camera with his stuffed [[Muscle_bra|muscle bra]] and starts [[Fail|exercising]] by punching spastically in time to the beats. ''

'''''0:11-0:24''' He then begins doing his version of jumping jacks.''

'''''0:25-0:59''' Chris starts swaying his hips from side to side before doing several [[CWC_Fighter|Chun Li kicks]]. He noticeably begins to slow down here but continues on and adds spastic punches as well.''

'''''1:00-1:27''' He starts twisting side to side with stuffed muscle bra in full view. [[Slow_in_the_minds|Chris loses the beat]] of the track at this point.''

'''''1:28-1:54''' Next up he starts stretching his arms to the ground and back up. Though he speeds up again for a few seconds, he goes back to slow relatively quickly.''

'''''1:55-2:11''' Chris starts stretching his arms down each arm individually.''

'''''2:12-2:19''' Here he stretches out his back with his [[Obesity|fat autistic gut]] on display.''

'''''2:20-2:43''' Next he begins twisting side to side again momentarily before doing jumping jacks again with poor posture.''

'''''2:44-3:05''' Begins punching again, taking a brief look at his screen. Starts punching side to side.''

'''''3:06-3:23''' Chris twists side to side again, this time with his arms open and being twice as slow as the rhythm.''

'''''3:24-3:29''' Punches upwards and then back forwards. Music stops. Chris faces the camera and gropes his own man tits.''

Feel her boobies!

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 12 Second Power Workout With Christian Weston Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EJNtY52H2Oc}}
| Maker = ChristopherCooler
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan is Loco-Motion
| video = {{#ev:youtube|QkEG1t2botM}}
| Maker = DrNurse
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type = Workout Video
}}

==See also==
*[[11042009 51 50‎|51 50]]
*[[30 Push-Ups]]
*[[Power]]
*[[I AM STRONG]]

==External link==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ5-iZYHBEc The video in the background]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Pregnant Act#The Remake|Pregnant Act]]|nextlink=Current}}
{{Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T17:50:47Z

DrNurse:

'''A Public Announcement for Congress''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The "for Congress" part apparently represents some confusion or misconception, because the video actually consists of a stump speech directed at the American people, outlining the policies Chris would advance if he were president. Keeping in line with his nonexistent knowledge of modern politics, and given his stated political stances and views, Chris seems to be unaware that 2nd Amendment rights are often a primary issue for conservative voters, as well that it is routine for Republican candidates to display homophobic views and policies.

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]] and [[Inos|the homeless]], while also proposing that taxes be slashed to a tiny fraction of their current rates. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns should go to the [[jerkops|police]], and would only be redistributed in case of attack from [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|another nation]] or [[Chris and reality|another planet]].

Also, [[Homos|gay people]] would be accepted in his [[CWCVille|Utopian society]], so long as he didn't have to notice that they exist. He makes the claim that gay marriage will be allowed in all U.N. member nations, despite various international laws, sovereignties, and treaties that all basically mean that the President of the United States has no such decisive say in the policies of the various countries of the U.N. Finally, he suggests a police state in which emails and other forms of online communication are constantly monitored in order to prevent trolling. Whether the trolls would be [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|tortured bad]] for their actions has yet to be announced.

He also tries to translate Clyde Cash's name into Spanish, failing miserably. As you don't translate names, but if one did, it would be ''Dinero'', not "Cashez", and the last name would still go last. Also, "de(l) ___" suffixes tend to be titles and honorifics. Thus, if names were to be translated, Clyde may be ''Clyde Dinero del Oro'', lit: "Clyde Cash of the Gold."

In yet [[Twin Falling Towers|another display]] of Chris's patriotism, he calls the [[United States of America|United States]] the United Nations. Whether this is him wanting to expand his control to other nations or a legitimate mistake is unknown.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ghfoOqS2mM8}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Politics}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Unknown White T
| previous = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Dope1.jpg|thumb|CWC [[2008]]]]

Good evening, friends. As your presidential candidate, I will now state how I feel (''Chris makes an odd kicking motion''), what we can do to improve this, [[United States of America|these nations, these states]]. For one thing, we got so many [[Inos|poor people out on the streets]]. I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have soup beds. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS! So that there would be a bed for every homeless person until they can get back up on their own feet. Also, lower taxes. I will propose lower taxes, and we shall not have to pay so much. Five percent is okay, but why not two point five percent? And we will not cut off any benefits for the old people. They are good. And we shall give them plenty of money so they can afford the medications and services to keep them alive, because we do not pay for when we are sick, we pay for our [[Chris and health|good health!]] And we only pay after we're healthy. We're in good health. We pay to stay alive, we do not pay to die.

And, speaking of which, too much [[Sonichu 10|violence]] goes on within these city streets. I will propose only gun distribution to the official authority, which shall be the post-, which shall be within the [[Jerkops|police departments]]. Nowhere else. And all guns owned by locals, community people, shall be taken away. At least the bullets. When the bullets are necessary, or when there is an outbreak of violence from another [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|nation]] or [[Chris and reality|planet]], then we shall issue the bullets. At all-, at free stations, to be opened immediately. Otherwise we'll send in our special troops. Our [[Chaotic Combo|special force]].

(''A long pause, where Chris becomes visibly agitated'')

And also (''another pause''), we will be okay to have the gays (''noticably grimaces'') within our community, we will be okay to have the gays within our community. In all states! There will be gay marriage ability for every state within the [[Fail|United Nations]]. I mean, keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody, 'cause mup- the- mag- [[Family Guy|what may be right for you, may not be right for most. For some. You take the good from the bad and then you get an opening statement like mine.]]

People need to appreciate life, so we will not have to face death. I lost my train of thought there, but that's okay. I am only human! We are all human! I am a noble, honest person. No matter what e'erbody else may say, even on the Internet, and my opponent, [[Clyde Cash|Señor Cachez de Clyyyyde]]. He tells liiies about me! And so do the trolls that have be-trolled me over the Internet. Their jeers, and non-cheers, do not go appreciated. Because it is not everybody who can take a joke. Even when it's at their own expense.

And with that, I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters around these United States. Any repor-, any troll activity that you may be suspicious of an individual, you report to your local authority! And they will tell, and then they will inform the local FBI station within that state. And then they will investigate thoroughly! Over the wireless that is called the Internet! And they will trace the e-mails back to the origin home address or location. And they will be apprehended and fined or sentenced, depending on how CRUEL they are to the [[Chris|victim]].

I stand strong, I stand firm, I AM A NOBLE LEADER! And if I am elected, I will do my best to keep our America strong and sound, and not go down the drain. I'm sorry, [[Obama]], I did vote for you, but I gotta agree with my father, you are bringing us, somuss- some of the situations downhill. But I have nothing against you because I did vote for you. And I liked your documentary on A&E. I would shake your hand at the first opportunity I would to meet you, Mr. President.

And thou- er- fore, I shall conclude my opening statement. In the candisacy of the president, I say, I will do my best! And I am not lazy! Thank you.

This ad is not real. I'm not being, going to be elected president, but I tell the truth nonetheless of what I would do if I were to become president. Thank you.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan Political Ad
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8ojhq6qnBrE}}
| Maker = DrNurse
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type = PSA
}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress|Current]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

A Public Announcement for Congress

2010-10-19T17:49:02Z

DrNurse:

'''A Public Announcement for Congress''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The "for Congress" part apparently represents some confusion or misconception, because the video actually consists of a stump speech directed at the American people, outlining the policies Chris would advance if he were president. Keeping in line with his nonexistent knowledge of modern politics, and given his stated political stances and views, Chris seems to be unaware that 2nd Amendment rights are often a primary issue for conservative voters, as well that it is routine for Republican candidates to display homophobic views and policies.

Chris offers a number of initiatives that would give [[tugboat|free money]] to [[Bob|senior citizens]] and [[Inos|the homeless]], while also proposing that taxes be slashed to a tiny fraction of their current rates. In addition, he suggests that all of the guns should go to the [[jerkops|police]], and would only be redistributed in case of attack from [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|another nation]] or [[Chris and reality|another planet]].

Also, [[Homos|gay people]] would be accepted in his [[CWCVille|Utopian society]], so long as he didn't have to notice that they exist. He makes the claim that gay marriage will be allowed in all U.N. member nations, despite various international laws, sovereignties, and treaties that all basically mean that the President of the United States has no such decisive say in the policies of the various countries of the U.N. Finally, he suggests a police state in which emails and other forms of online communication are constantly monitored in order to prevent trolling. Whether the trolls would be [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|tortured bad]] for their actions has yet to be announced.

He also tries to translate Clyde Cash's name into Spanish, failing miserably. As you don't translate names, but if one did, it would be ''Dinero'', not "Cashez", and the last name would still go last. Also, "de(l) ___" suffixes tend to be titles and honorifics. Thus, if names were to be translated, Clyde may be ''Clyde Dinero del Oro'', lit: "Clyde Cash of the Gold."

In yet [[Twin Falling Towers|another display]] of Chris's patriotism, he calls the [[United States of America|United States]] the United Nations. Whether this is him wanting to expand his control to other nations or a legitimate mistake is unknown.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = A Public Announcement for Congress
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ghfoOqS2mM8}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|Politics}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = Unknown White T
| previous = [[Vitameatavegamin]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:Dope1.jpg|thumb|CWC [[2008]]]]

Good evening, friends. As your presidential candidate, I will now state how I feel (''Chris makes an odd kicking motion''), what we can do to improve this, [[United States of America|these nations, these states]]. For one thing, we got so many [[Inos|poor people out on the streets]]. I mean, we have soup kitchens and we have soup beds. We should really combine the two into SOUP HOTELS! So that there would be a bed for every homeless person until they can get back up on their own feet. Also, lower taxes. I will propose lower taxes, and we shall not have to pay so much. Five percent is okay, but why not two point five percent? And we will not cut off any benefits for the old people. They are good. And we shall give them plenty of money so they can afford the medications and services to keep them alive, because we do not pay for when we are sick, we pay for our [[Chris and health|good health!]] And we only pay after we're healthy. We're in good health. We pay to stay alive, we do not pay to die.

And, speaking of which, too much [[Sonichu 10|violence]] goes on within these city streets. I will propose only gun distribution to the official authority, which shall be the post-, which shall be within the [[Jerkops|police departments]]. Nowhere else. And all guns owned by locals, community people, shall be taken away. At least the bullets. When the bullets are necessary, or when there is an outbreak of violence from another [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|nation]] or [[Chris and reality|planet]], then we shall issue the bullets. At all-, at free stations, to be opened immediately. Otherwise we'll send in our special troops. Our [[Chaotic Combo|special force]].

(''A long pause, where Chris becomes visibly agitated'')

And also (''another pause''), we will be okay to have the gays (''noticably grimaces'') within our community, we will be okay to have the gays within our community. In all states! There will be gay marriage ability for every state within the [[Fail|United Nations]]. I mean, keep it to yourselves in your room, just don't force it upon everybody, 'cause mup- the- mag- [[Family Guy|what may be right for you, may not be right for most. For some. You take the good from the bad and then you get an opening statement like mine.]]

People need to appreciate life, so we will not have to face death. I lost my train of thought there, but that's okay. I am only human! We are all human! I am a noble, honest person. No matter what e'erbody else may say, even on the Internet, and my opponent, [[Clyde Cash|Señor Cachez de Clyyyyde]]. He tells liiies about me! And so do the trolls that have be-trolled me over the Internet. Their jeers, and non-cheers, do not go appreciated. Because it is not everybody who can take a joke. Even when it's at their own expense.

And with that, I will propose Internet securities, reinforced by the FBI, and there will be patrol stations of the Trollbusters around these United States. Any repor-, any troll activity that you may be suspicious of an individual, you report to your local authority! And they will tell, and then they will inform the local FBI station within that state. And then they will investigate thoroughly! Over the wireless that is called the Internet! And they will trace the e-mails back to the origin home address or location. And they will be apprehended and fined or sentenced, depending on how CRUEL they are to the [[Chris|victim]].

I stand strong, I stand firm, I AM A NOBLE LEADER! And if I am elected, I will do my best to keep our America strong and sound, and not go down the drain. I'm sorry, [[Obama]], I did vote for you, but I gotta agree with my father, you are bringing us, somuss- some of the situations downhill. But I have nothing against you because I did vote for you. And I liked your documentary on A&E. I would shake your hand at the first opportunity I would to meet you, Mr. President.

And thou- er- fore, I shall conclude my opening statement. In the candisacy of the president, I say, I will do my best! And I am not lazy! Thank you.

This ad is not real. I'm not being, going to be elected president, but I tell the truth nonetheless of what I would do if I were to become president. Thank you.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan Political Ad
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8ojhq6qnBrE}}
| Maker = DrNurse
| Stardate = 19 October 2010
| Video Type = PSA

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Gilligan Be or Not]]|nextlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress|Current]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]